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Scene Map 39
# PG SLUGLINE
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Scene Map
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# PG SLUGLINE
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PINOCCHIO Written by Guillermo del Toro and Patrick McHale
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INT. GEPPETTO BEDROOM - NIGHT Carlo is in his hand-carved bed, decorated with Italian fairy- tale pictures. Light snow falls outside a window. Geppetto reads Carlo a fairy tale. GEPPETTO
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INT. GEPPETTO BEDROOM Carlo yawns and sleepily nestles back down in his pillow. Geppetto puts down his accordion and gets into his own bed. CARLO Good night, Papa...
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INT. CHURCH - EVENING Geppetto still painting. Carlo looks up from his SCHOOL BOOK. 9. CARLO It looks great, Papa! Is it almost
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INT. GEPPETTO WORKSHOP - THE YEARS PASS. CRICKET The years passed, the world moved on, but Geppetto did not... Geppetto DRINKS alone in his cold, lifeless bedroom. He
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EXT. THE HILL Geppetto drags a piece of the trunk back towards- 16. EXT. GEPPETTO HOUSE -His house.
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INT. FIREPLACE - MORNING Geppetto wakes up at the bottom of the stairs. Through the fog of sleep we hear faint footsteps and clattering. He looks around, hungover but curious of the sounds. He notices: The Puppet is gone.
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INT. GEPPETTO WORKSHOP - MORNING ...and landing on the hard floor of the workshop. The axe tumbles from his hand. Pinocchio descends the ladder with disjointed, inhuman movements; he’s not yet in full control of his body (ref: a
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EXT. TOWN STREETS AND PIAZZA - DAY The town has changed. POSTERS OF FASCIST PROPAGANDA are everywhere. Portraits of Mussolini take entire walls. Pinocchio goes by one that reads: BELIEVE, OBEY, FIGHT. He waves to the mural.
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INT. CHURCH The Town Priest prepares to bless palms with holy water and incense. Everybody is singing. TOWN PRIEST Ostende nobis, Domine,
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INT. GEPPETTO WORKSHOP - AFTERNOON It is raining outside. Geppetto is filing off the excess nose from Pinocchio. Pinocchio is fidgeting. And yodeling. PINOCCHIO
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INT. GEPPETTO HOUSE / DINING ROOM - NIGHT Geppetto pours his visitors some hot chocolate. GEPPETTO There you go. TOWN PRIEST
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INT. GEPPETTO BEDROOOM - NIGHT It’s raining. Geppetto closes the upstairs window. GEPPETTO Oh, what a day... What a day... PINOCCHIO
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EXT. PERIPHERY STREETS - EDGE OF TOWN - SAME He runs down the town streets- And heads for a set of ROMANESQUE ruins- 39. EXT. ROMANESQUE RUINS - SAME
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INT. CHURCH - DAY GEPPETTO Now let it down. More. That’s it, that’s it. Just a little more...Stop.
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EXT. PERIPHERY STREETS - EDGE OF TOWN - SAME Pinocchio runs excitedly through town, towards the school. A GROUP of KIDS in fascist uniforms pass them by - SINGING A FASCIST HYMN!! KID/S
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INT. CHURCH - DUSK Later in the day. Geppetto is just finishing up painting the crucifix. He’s on his way down, beginning to pack up when: PODESTÀ
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INT. PUPPET THEATER - SAME COUNT VOLPE (O.S.) Pinocchio!! The living puppet! Count Volpe opens the curtains to reveal Pinocchio. He hangs from his strings, limp and inert.
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EXT. CARNIVAL - NIGHT Pinocchio walks away, hand in hand with Geppetto. The crowd of children follow. GEPPETTO You ruined Carlo’s book! And...and
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INT. EXT. DARKNESS BLACK RABBITS carry Pinocchio in a coffin. They ascend a circular mound in the darkness. RABBITS IN CHORUS Thou art gone- Thy life hast fled
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INT. LIMBO It’s all dark. PINOCCHIO Hello? Hello? Two headlamp-like eyes open and illuminate the darkness-
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INT. DOCTOR’S HOME - NIGHT Pinocchio lies on a table. The DOCTOR examines his chest, looking for a heartbeat. 62. Everyone waits around: Count Volpe, Geppetto, the Podestà,
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EXT. BIRCH WOODS - NIGHT Geppetto and Pinocchio walk through the woods. Geppetto is cold, clutching/rubbing his arms, Pinocchio entirely unbothered by the frosty night air. GEPPETTO
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EXT. CARNIVAL - NIGHT Cold winds blow as Pinocchio knocks on Count Volpe’s door. Footsteps are heard- cursing and then the door pops open. Count Volpe- sword in hand- half-awake!! COUNT VOLPE
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EXT. ROAD - DAY A SWEET VOICE RISES in the soundtrack, Pinocchio singing a PURE, ITALIAN HYMN!! Music carries over the next scene. PINOCCHIO Ciao Papa
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EXT. TOWN BRIDGE - NIGHT PINOCCHIO And as I gambol on my long, long, climb, I hold on tight to our best of times.
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EXT. PIER Geppetto (Cricket in backpack pocket) walks down an old pier. Most ships are DOCKED. Out at sea, explosions can be seen far off in the distance. Geppetto stands before a ship captain, shows him the flyer-
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EXT. CARNIVAL - DAY Pinocchio does stretches and vocal warm-ups in preparation for the big upcoming show... PINOCCHIO (tongue sticking out,
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EXT. PUPPET THEATER / CATANIA - NIGHT A SUPER-DUPER-DUPER long red limousine arrives and a small man gets out of it: MUSSOLINI. Next to him, a thin man: his RIGHT HAND MAN. 85.
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INT. LIMBO Pinocchio climbs down and goes to meet Death. Death sets down a MEDIUM SIZED hourglass (larger than last time). PINOCCHIO
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INT. YOUTH CAMP DORMATORY - NIGHT The boys all sit, attentive in their beds. The Podestà walks along the line of beds, addressing the youth. Pinocchio and Candlewick lay on top of their covers in cots
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INT. YOUTH CAMP - DAY Standing on the open battlefield, Podestà stands before all the boys, explaining the rules of the game. PODESTÀ ...And as with all great empires,
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INT. YOUTH CAMP - CONTINUOUS Candlewick and Pinocchio proudly approach the Podestà, who is now sipping tea with the Priest at a table near the edge of the battlefield. PODESTÀ
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EXT. CLIFF - DAY Pinocchio wakes up. PINOCCHIO HUHHH?! Candlewick!? Pinocchio is tied to a post. Spazzatura and Volpe stand
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INT. DOGFISH They are finally spat out of an ulcer waterfall. Ugh-- Spazz covered in goop, completely grossed out. They look up and watch with horror as the tunnel they were spat out of closes behind them.
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EXT. DOGFISH DOGFISH (SFX O.S.) (loud and echoing) GRRRRROOOAAAAANNNN! INT. DOGFISH
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EXT. OCEAN Splash! Our heroes all land in the water with the debris. Pinocchio clambers up on the first thing he can find, a huge MINE! He is breathing heavy, trying to catch his breath. Off in the distance, everyone else scrambles onto a makeshift
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EXT. OCEAN - DAY Pinocchio shoots out of the water. He is missing an arm and part of his leg-- now just stumps. He falls back in, then rises to the surface and GASPS for breath! He’s alive! He has a chance to save Geppetto!
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INT. GEPPETTO WORKSHOP Series of shots of Pinocchio, Geppetto, Spazz and Sebastian living together in the house. - Spazz pushes Geppetto in a wheelchair. Pinocchio reads to them by the fire.

Pinocchio

A grieving Geppetto creates a wooden puppet named Pinocchio, who comes to life and embarks on wild escapades.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

This screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its sophisticated thematic fusion of the classic fairy tale with historical realism and profound philosophical questions about mortality. Unlike traditional adaptations, it positions Pinocchio's immortality as a curse rather than a blessing, exploring the preciousness of finite life through the lens of grief and fascist ideology. The setting in Mussolini's Italy provides a powerful political backdrop that elevates the story beyond simple fantasy into meaningful social commentary, while maintaining the magical elements that make the original compelling.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

Claude
 Recommend
GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Highly Recommend
DeepSeek
 Highly Recommend
Average Score: 8.9
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Lean into the script's strongest asset—the father/son emotional through-line—and fix two structural clarity issues that are currently blurring the stakes: 1) codify Pinocchio’s immortality/limbo rules in a compact, dramatic beat so audiences understand the costs and cadence of his ‘deaths’ (this will make the later choices and sacrifices resonate rather than feel magical convenience); 2) tighten the middle (touring/carnival montage and repeated death-return cycles) and close the largest secondary threads (Count Volpe’s contractual/legal fallout and Candlewick’s emotional aftermath). Also smooth tonal transitions between whimsy and brutality (trim or reposition musical/carnival beats where they undercut the danger) so the movie reads as one cohesive tonal universe rather than oscillating between fable and horror.
For Executives:
This adaptation is high-value: a distinctive, director-driven Pinocchio with clear festival/arthouse appeal and crossover potential for adult family viewing—its emotional core and striking visual set pieces (Limbo, Dogfish, carnival) sell. The principal risks are narrative ambiguity around the supernatural rules (which weakens the climax) and middle-act pacing that may bloat running time and effects costs. These are fixable in a focused rewrite: clarify the metaphysical rules early, compress or consolidate touring set pieces, and resolve major secondary arcs. With modest script fixes you keep the unique USP (dark, political, mythic Pinocchio) while protecting marketability and budget predictability.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 40% Fantasy 25% War 20% Comedy 15% Action 20% Horror 10%

Setting: Early 20th century, specifically around the years of World War I and the rise of fascism in Italy., A fictional Italian village, including Geppetto's workshop, a church, a carnival, and various outdoor settings like hills and forests.

Themes: The Transformative Power of Love and Connection, The Nature of Reality and Humanity, Loss, Grief, and the Aftermath of Trauma, The Corrupting Influence of Power and Ideology, Ambition, Greed, and Selfishness vs. Sacrifice and Redemption, The Role of Fate and Free Will, The Burden of Fatherhood and Parental Responsibility, The Meaning of Obedience and Disobedience

Conflict & Stakes: Geppetto's struggle with grief and the desire to reconnect with his lost son through Pinocchio, alongside Pinocchio's journey to understand his identity and the consequences of his actions in a world influenced by war and fascism.

Mood: Bittersweet and whimsical, with moments of humor, tragedy, and hope.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The story reimagines the classic tale of Pinocchio with a darker, more complex narrative that explores themes of loss and identity.
  • Major Twist: Pinocchio's journey includes multiple deaths and resurrections, emphasizing the consequences of his actions and the nature of mortality.
  • Distinctive Setting: The backdrop of a war-torn Italy during the rise of fascism adds a unique historical context to the story.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of a cricket as a narrator and moral guide provides a fresh perspective on the classic tale.
  • Unique Characters: The characters, such as Count Volpe and Spazzatura, offer depth and complexity, enhancing the narrative.

Comparable Scripts: The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi, Life is Beautiful (La vita è bella), The Iron Giant, Big Fish, The Boy Who Lived (Harry Potter series), A Monster Calls, Coco, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Data Says…
Feature in Alpha - Could have inaccuracies

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

1. Scene Structure
Big Impact Scene Level
Your current Scene Structure score: 8.2
Typical rewrite gain: +0.19 in Scene Structure
Gets you ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~5,718 similar revisions)
  • This is currently your highest-impact lever. Improving Scene Structure is most likely to move the overall rating next.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Scene Structure by about +0.19 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: At your level, improving this one area alone can cover a meaningful slice of the climb toward an "all Highly Recommends" script.
2. Dialogue
Big Impact Scene Level
Your current Dialogue score: 8.2
Typical rewrite gain: +0.25 in Dialogue
Gets you ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~2,902 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Dialogue by about +0.25 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.
3. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Moderate Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 8.8
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Note: Not enough revision data for scripts at this high level
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • Why this is flagged: We don't have enough revision data for scripts at this high score, but our model knows this is still a high-impact area to focus on for refinement.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 8.76
Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core—Geppetto's grief and Pinocchio's search for identity—is powerful and mostly well-realized, but the narrative currently undermines its own stakes through repetitive 'death-and-revival' beats and a somewhat flat primary antagonist. Prioritize tightening the emotional logic: make each near-death distinct in tone, consequence, and character learning (so revivals feel earned), and enrich Count Volpe with a clear personal stake or vulnerability that mirrors or contrasts Pinocchio's arc. These two fixes will preserve tension, deepen thematic resonance, and make character choices feel consequential rather than cyclical.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong—Geppetto's grief and Pinocchio's odyssey are compelling—but it would be substantially improved by deepening key secondary characters and sharpening early foreshadowing. Give Spazzatura and Candlewick clearer, succinct beats that reveal why they act as they do (greed, fear, longing, loyalty) and plant early indicators of Pinocchio's capacity for self-sacrifice. Weave the fascist context into character decisions more organically (show how it shapes behavior rather than only serving as backdrop), clarify the symbolic role of the Dogfish, and tighten Limbo/Death's philosophical beats so they feed directly into Pinocchio's immediate choices. Small, targeted additions will amplify emotional payoff in the climax and make the thematic arcs feel earned rather than episodic.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay already has a powerful emotional spine — Geppetto's grief and Pinocchio's search for identity — but several beats feel reactive rather than earned. Tighten and deepen the emotional through-lines: make Pinocchio's decisions clearly traceable to wants/needs (fun vs. longing for a father), give Geppetto moments of honest regret (not just anger) after his worst lines, and humanize secondary figures (Count Volpe, Spazzatura, Cricket) with small catalytic beats early so their later moves land. Practically: add a mid-point of quiet reflection (visual or brief internal monologue/beat) where Pinocchio confronts what Carlo represents; show a short, intimate scene where Geppetto recognizes the harm of his words and later atones in a visible way; seed Spazzatura's moral hesitation earlier. These surgical changes will make the climaxes — the Dogfish sequence, Pinocchio's sacrifice, Geppetto's acceptance — feel inevitable and emotionally devastating rather than coincidental.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script delivers powerful set-pieces and genuine emotional moments, but the overall emotional pacing is uneven: long stretches of grief and repetitive peril (especially the Dogfish/limbo cycles and Volpe exploitation) risk numbing the audience and weakening character growth. Tighten the third act’s danger sequences, insert quieter, connective beats (moments of humor, friendship, or small victories), and clarify Pinocchio and Geppetto’s internal arcs so their transformations feel earned. Small structural inserts — a scene of genuine camaraderie at camp, a reflective beat after a death, or an earlier hint of Spazzatura’s doubt — will restore variety, deepen empathy, and make the climactic reunion land with more weight.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows a strong, emotionally rich core: Pinocchio’s arc from seeking paternal love to confronting identity, honesty, and mortality. To sharpen the script, intensify the throughline that ties his inner needs (acceptance, belonging, moral growth) to the plot’s external pressures (Volpe, fascist institutions, the Dogfish). Give clearer, recurring tests that force Pinocchio to choose between selfish impulse and sacrificial love so his growth feels earned rather than narrated. Also tighten how the philosophical conflict (freedom vs. conformity; innocence vs. experience) is dramatized — concrete scenes should embody those ideas rather than relying on exposition or montage to resolve them.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
This screenplay has a powerful emotional core—Geppetto’s grief and the redemptive, binding love between creator and creation—but the plot occasionally disperses that energy into abundant set pieces (carnival acts, bureaucratic Limbo, extended fantasy interludes) and political texture that dilute the intimacy of the father/son throughline. Tighten the narrative around Geppetto’s arc and Pinocchio’s moral choices: prune or refocus sequences that feel episodic, deepen a few key emotional beats (the church bombing, the bargain with the Wood Sprite, Pinocchio’s repeated returns), and make each spectacle serve the central transformation so the audience never loses the emotional anchor. Also clarify the rules of Pinocchio’s immortality and its stakes sooner so his sacrifices land with true weight at the climax.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script’s strongest elements are its emotional core (Geppetto’s grief, Pinocchio’s innocence) and vivid set pieces, but those are undermined by inconsistent worldbuilding and repetitive beats. The top priority is to clarify the rules around Pinocchio’s life/death (how and why he returns, what limits exist) and to streamline the death/resurrection sequences so each has unique narrative purpose and stakes. Secondary fixes: make major character shifts (Spazzatura’s turn, Count Volpe’s escalation, Geppetto’s harsh outburst) earn their moments with clearer motivation and set-up rather than sudden, plot-driven reversals. Implementing these will restore dramatic consequence, heighten audience investment, and make emotional payoffs land.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your screenplay has a distinct, compelling voice: a rare blend of childlike wonder, intimate grief, and dark mythic elements. To strengthen it creatively, hone the emotional through-line by clarifying Pinocchio’s core desire and the stakes that force him to change. Trim or tighten episodic set-pieces that don’t advance that arc, tighten dialogue in moments that verge on melodrama, and keep the metaphysical rules (Wood Sprite, Death/Limbo) consistent so the audience’s suspension of disbelief never wavers. Preserving the lyrical tone while sharpening structural clarity will amplify the story’s emotional payoff.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
You already have a powerful emotional core, vivid imagery, and well-drawn character beats. The single most effective way to lift the script is to sharpen the dialogue so it carries more subtext — let characters imply instead of explain. Pair that with a targeted deepening of key character arcs (especially Geppetto, Pinocchio and Cricket) by adding small, surprising contradictions and stakes that complicate their choices. Finally, lean into "show, don’t tell" in pivotal thematic moments (loss, sacrifice, identity) by using visual motifs and behavior rather than explicit speeches.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world is rich and cinematic—a tactile, grief-tinged fairy tale set against creeping fascism—but it currently walks a tonal tightrope between intimate, lyrical family drama and broad, violent political spectacle. To strengthen the script, pick a clearer tonal center (e.g., intimate tragic-fantastical fable with political pressure as backdrop) and let every set piece and world detail serve the emotional through-line: Geppetto's grief and Pinocchio's search for humanity. Tighten the rules of the magical elements (Pinocchio's mortality/immortality, Limbo mechanics, the Wood Sprite's power) and prune or re-focus carnival/propaganda sequences that distract rather than deepen character stakes. Anchor visual motifs (wood, pine, nose, crucifix, hourglass) so the world feels thematically coherent rather than episodic spectacle.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
You have rare emotional raw material — the script’s strongest scenes consistently combine high emotional impact with significant plot movement. To tighten the screenplay, prioritize those emotional beats as the motor of cause-and-effect: wherever a scene is warmly nostalgic or whimsical but doesn’t advance the plot or raise stakes, either convert it into a catalytic moment (a decision, revelation, cost) or shorten it. Also be deliberate when layering tones: whimsy works best when counterpointed by a menacing or urgent undertone that forces character choice. Keep the excellent dialogue, but let lines escalate stakes or force character change more often.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.