The Percentile is against the screenplays in our library.
|At least one Character Changes in the scene||4.2||3|
|Story Moves Forward||6.8||8|
|Internal Goal Score||8.1||64|
|External Goal Score||7.2||31|
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Note: This is the synthesis. See scene by scene analysis here
|Dialogue||8.4||93||Suits: 8.3||Good Will Hunting: 8.4|
|Originality||7.45||88||Fear and loathing in Las Vegas: 7.30||What we do in the shadows: 7.45|
|Characters||8.6||88||Everything Everywhere All at Once: 8.5||Titanic: 8.6|
|Structure||8.45||64||Breaking bad, episode 306: 8.43||Scott pilgrim vs. the world: 8.45|
|Concept||7.9||61||The usual suspects: 7.8||Titanic: 7.9|
|Internal Goal||8.13||60||Breaking Bad: 8.11||The Wolf of Wall Street: 8.13|
|Overall||8.3||57||Queens Gambit: 8.2||face/off: 8.3|
|Engagement||8.64||54||The Wizard of oz: 8.62||Lucifer: 8.64|
|Pacing||8.27||37||Inglorious Basterds: 8.23||What we do in the shadows: 8.27|
|External Goal||7.18||29||Mo: 7.14||What we do in the shadows: 7.18|
|Plot||7.5||13||As good as it gets: 7.4||get out: 7.5|
|Conflict Level||6.4||12||Easy A: 6.3||Madmen: 6.4|
|High Stakes||5.7||12||Midnight cowboy: 5.6||Scott pilgrim vs. the world: 5.7|
|Formatting||8.82||9||The whale: 8.79||What we do in the shadows: 8.82|
|Story Forward||6.8||6||Boyz n the hood: 6.7||What we do in the shadows: 6.8|
|Character Changes||4.2||2||Clerks: 3.8||What we do in the shadows: 4.2|
|Emotional Impact||5.1||1||-||Clerks: 5.1|
|Story Content||Character Development||Scene Elements||Audience Engagement||Technical Aspects|
|Scene Number||Full Analysis||Tone||Overall Grade||Concept||Plot||Originality Score||Characters||Character Changes||Internal Goal||External Goal||Conflict||Opposition||High stakes||Story forward||Twist||Emotional Impact||Dialogue||Engagement||Pacing||Formatting||Structure|
|1||Return of the Baron||"Humorous"||8||9||8||7||8||3||8||6||5||0||4||6||4||4||9||9||9||10||8|
|2||Vampire House Meeting||"light-hearted"||9||8||7||7||9||4||8||6||5||0||3||6||6||4||9||9||7||9||8|
|3||The Arrival of The Baron||"Tense, comedic"||8||8||7||6||9||5||8||9||7||0||9||7||5||6||8||7||9||8||8|
|4||The Baron's Visit||"Humorous and light-hearted"||9||8||8||8||9||2||8||8||5||0||6||7||6||4||10||9||9||10||10|
|5||Preparing for The Baron's Visit||"Dark humor"||8||7||7||8||9||6||0||7||10||0||9||8||3||6||8||9||7||8||8|
|6||Preparations for The Baron's Visit||"dark humor"||7||7||6||9||8||2||8||9||3||0||3||6||5||4||7||9||9||9||8|
|7||LARPing Virgins and Vampire Plans||"humorous"||8||9||7||8||9||4||0||5||7||0||5||7||5||4||8||8||8||10||9|
|8||Preparations and Encounters||"Darkly humorous"||8||7||8||7||8||5||8||7||6||0||6||7||5||6||8||8||7||9||8|
|9||Preparing for The Baron's Visit||"Humorous"||8||7||8||5||8||6||8||7||9||0||6||8||4||6||8||9||9||8||9|
|10||The Baron's Visit||"Tense"||9||9||8||9||8||6||0||8||9||0||9||9||4||7||8||9||9||8||8|
|11||Anniversary Gift for Guillermo||"Humorous"||9||8||8||8||10||3||9||7||4||0||3||4||4||5||9||9||8||8||9|
RETURN OF THE BARON
December 8, 2017 Rewrite
Based on the film
What We Do In The Shadows
By Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
We see Guillermo, a human, standing in an old-fashioned
bedroom next to a coffin. He checks his watch.
(softly) It’s nightfall.
A muffled foreign accent comes from the coffin.
Is that you?
The coffin lid moves. It’s jammed.
It’s stuck again.
Guillermo goes to assist.
NANDOR (O.S.) (CONT’D)
I think it’s the latch!
The job of a vampire’s familiar is
not an easy one.
Guillermo jiggles the lid of the coffin. It won’t open.
INT. SOLO INTERVIEW WITH GUILLERMO
A vampire’s familiar is kind of
like a best friend... who’s also a
slave, kind of?
INT. BEDROOM -- NIGHT
Coffin lid still won’t open. Guillermo is trying to jimmy the
latch with a butter knife.
WWDITS USA v23 Ocotber 8, 2017 2.
You’re not trying to pry it are
you? Don’t pry it. You’ll foul the
Guillermo quickly stops prying and puts the butter knife in
INT. SOLO INTERVIEW WITH GUILLERMO
Tomorrow night marks the 20th
anniversary of when I started
working for my master and I’m
pretty sure he’s planning something
special for me. I think tomorrow
will be when he makes me a vampire.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
The latch has finally come open.
NANDOR elegantly arises from his coffin. Guillermo does a
double thumbs up.
Very cool, master. Super scary.
Nandor stays grinning revealing that he has vampire fangs.
Awaken the others...
We see images of our vampires throughout history. Coffins.
Fangs. The mediums they are depicted show a centuries-long
passage of time. Medieval woodcuts, tapestries, oil
paintings, encyclopedia photos of statues, cubist
paintings, silent film footage, photos from the late 1800s,
1920s, 1960s, 1980s, VHS footage, digital photos from the
early 2000s. Every few images, there’s a quick pop of
something frighteningly grotesque -- less artistic or
cultural vampire depiction, and with more of a crime-scene
photo feel. This is all to the song You’re Dead by Norma
WWDITS December 8, 2017 3.
EXT. MANSION - DUSK
A large, severely dilapidated mansion subtly stands out in a
INT. MANSION. LIBRARY - NIGHT
We are in a small library, within the vampire house.
No, we’re going to have a house
Didn’t we just have a house-
meeting in 1981?
That was in 1891, Lazslo.
We’re doing it!
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NANDOR
Interspersed with this seated interview, we see images of
Nandor in various battles, in armor and different garbs.
I have a reputation for being a
very tough kind of vampire.
Oil painting of Nandor in Ottoman clothing. As he speaks we
see illustrations of Nandor in battle.
NANDOR (CONT’D) I used
to be a very ferocious soldier in
the Ottoman Empire. Which meant a
lot of killing, a lot of
pillaging. They’d say have mercy!
Stop pillaging me! No, I’m
pillaging everyone! You included!
I was relentless. They called me
“Nandor the Relentless”. Because I
just never relent.
INT. MANSION. LIBRARY - NIGHT
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 4.
WE ARE HAVING A HOUSE MEETING,
OKAY! HOUSE MEETING!
All right! Just think of it as a
fun way of catching up with each
This is worse than dying.
Oh. Sorry you feel that way,
NANDOR (O.S. FROM INTERVIEW) (CONT’D)
Co-habitating with other vampires
makes sense for financial reasons.
A lot of vampires spend a lot of
money on castles and fancy capes
then two hundred years later
they’re like - uh oh, now I’m in
an apartment wearing jeans.
Begin. Say your boring words.
doesn’t fill me with
confidence Nadja, but
She looks like a Gothic queen wearing a HUGE ELIZABETHAN
It is nice staying in a house with
other vampires. The only people I
would speak to when I was in my
castle would be my “victims”,
which was sad. Because I ate them.
Because we had some nice
WWDITS December 8, 2017 5.
INT. MANSION. LIBRARY - NIGHT
Before I get to the important
business at hand, a little
housekeeping. We need to discuss
general tidiness. Especially in
The prison-y cell! Last night I
heard all this shouting coming
from there and there were so many
angry people down there, half-
They had alcohol?
No, they had only been half drunk.
Drink the whole victim before you
start another new one, please.
There were nine people down
there, still kinda alive, all
moaning and complaining. Help
me... Help me...
It is gross. One guy said he’d had
five birthdays while he’s down in
I made him some birthday cards.
Should have just killed him.
And then I killed him.
Oh, then what’s the problem?
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 6.
They hiss at each other, their eyes now glowing red.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH LAZSLO
Lazslo has an even larger ELIZABETHAN COLLAR than Nadja.
This “house-meeting” - as he calls
it -- seems like just another foul
New World innovation Nandor is
trying to foist upon us. I do not
like it, sir.
We see footage of Lazslo writing in a dusty tome with a quill
pen -- by the light of a single candle. And squinting hard to
do so. In the background, Nandor switches on a table lamp.
Lazslo glares at him, and Nandor switches the lamp off and
backs away apologetically. And Lazslo goes back to squinting
very hard to read by candlelight.
I suppose I’m kind of a
renaissance man in that I was born
in 1531. I was the most handsome
man in my village--
16th Century painting of Lazslo looking the opposite of that.
His village was badly affected by
leprosy and the plague.
(proudly) It’s true.
We see old drawings and paintings that illustrate Lazslo’s
One night I was asleep and I heard
a rrrrreeeep.... rrrrreeeppp...
rrrreeeeppp at my window and I
thought, “who’s this at my window?
This is weird” -- because I was on
the third floor and there was a
very beautiful woman outside just
floating there. I saw her and I
was just absolutely hypnotized.
I used hypnosis on him.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 7.
I invited her into my bedroom. She
turned into this hideous bat
creature, I thought, “this one’s
different”. She drained my blood.
Cursed me with the gift of eternal
life, making me a thirsty creature
of the shadows.
We see them in more prosperous times and through the ages.
Eastern European rulers in fine garb.
LAZSLO (CONT’D) Isn’t
she intoxicating? My Nadja,
Queen of the night.
Nadja stares, completely bored.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NANDOR
We all get along great and the
house meetings will help us keep
the lines of communication open
and working together as a team.
Nandor and Lazslo FLY AT EACH OTHER, FANGS BARED. Lazslo
swipes at Nandor’s face. Nadja calmly watches.
It’s about hygiene, Lazslo!
It’s about your ego, Nandor!
Why don’t we start writing our
names and dates on the victims
with marker pen!
Suddenly Nandor and Lazslo are normal sliding back into their
chairs like nothing happened.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 8.
Good idea, Nadja. Marker pens,
Guillermo! And now we come to the
real purpose of this house
meeting. (takes an ominous beat)
Guillermo, close the door.
It is closed.
Close it more.
Confused, Guillermo pushes on the door as Nandor takes out a
fancy envelope - sealed with a wax signet and covered in
NANDOR (CONT’D) We have
received a letter from The Baron.
Nadja, Lazslo, and Guillermo react. This is a very serious
NANDOR (CONT’D) As we
are all now -- finally -- gathered
as one, in compliance with the
protocols, I will impart The
Nandor opens the letter. What he reads stuns him.
NANDOR (CONT’D) The
Baron... is coming to visit us.
A dramatic pause of disbelief. Interrupted by...
(softly) Holy crap.
Silence, Guillermo. Vampire
The Baron’s never left the Old
Country before. Does he say what
is the purpose of his visit?
When does the great one arrive?
WWDITS December 8, 2017 9.
(skimming letter) Um...
Guillermo... figure this out?
Guillermo seems quietly upset. So does Nandor.
Why didn’t you give this to me
It just arrived this morning.
Nandor angrily shoos Guillermo away with the letter.
(grandly) Let it never be said
that The Baron does not know how
to make an entrance that will
shock and astonish!
It’s obvious that Lazslo worships The Baron, while Nandor is
less impressed -- and even a bit jealous of The Baron.
Yes, yes. We’re all shocked and
astonished that The Baron has not
yet discovered Federal Express.
Guillermo laughs, but Nadja and Lazslo don’t get the
You know -- Fed Ex. “When It
Absolutely, Positively Has To Be
There Overnight.” Fed Ex. I’m not
sure what it is.
(suspicious) Have you been
secretly viewing a television box
(covering) No. Of course not. It’s
just contemporary folk tale
Guillermo told me about.
Regardless, there is much work to
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 10.
be done. And precious little time
to do it.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NANDOR
The Baron is great. As great as
his own legend? (shrugs) Not for
me to say.
Nandor shakes his head to say “No.”
INT. SOLO INTERVIEW WITH LAZSLO
(makes sure no one is listening)
My suspicion is that The Baron
has gotten wind of how Nandor has
been running things over here.
Straying too often from the old
ways. So this should be
INT. SOLO INTERVIEW WITH NADJA
Nadja is speaking quietly, so as not to be overheard.
I’m nervous about seeing The Baron
with Lazslo present. The Baron and
I enjoyed a very long, very
intense sexual affair a few
hundred years ago. Very physical,
very animal. A lot of acrobatic
stuff. It could be awkward.
INT. SOLO INTERVIEW WITH LAZSLO
Many bloodlines flow back to The
Baron! The powers that flow
through our veins are rumored to
be an eternal gift from The Baron
(beat, then quietly) Also, a while
back, The Baron and I enjoyed a
very long, very intense sex
affair. Very animal. Some pretty
WWDITS December 8, 2017 11.
acrobatic stuff. It will be good
Nadja rejoins Nandor, Lazslo, and Guillermo, who are
gathered around the table. Nandor is looking at the planning
notes he’s written on an eighty-year old yellow legal pad.
So... Guillermo will transport The
Baron from his point of
debarkation to here--
On a velvet-lined caisson drawn by
four black horses!
Yeahhhhh... I know that’s the
tradition, but let’s be realistic.
So perhaps just two black horses?
Not on such short notice, Master.
They all sit and think.
A dark camel?
Maybe a taxi?
A black taxi.
Lazslo nods his head.
Okay, great. Now, as for The
We should get a couple of virgins.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 12.
Guillermo, two virgins by tomorrow
Of course, master.
We shall feast on virgin blood!
The vampires laugh. Guillermo does his best to join in.
Guillermo hangs his head.
Are we inviting Colin as well?
That would ruin the evening.
A very ordinary looking man, mopey even, stands at the
What’s ruining the evening?
I knew you didn’t close the door.
Are we having another house
INT. INTERVIEW WITH COLIN ROBINSON
Hello, my name is Colin Robinson
and I’m what’s called a psychic
vampire or “energy vampire”.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Colin has someone trapped in a corner of an office.
COLIN ROBINSON (V.O.)
Energy vampires drain people’s
energy merely by talking to them.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 13.
COLIN ROBINSON (V.O.) (CONT'D)
In fact you probably know an
energy vampire. We’re the most
common kind of vampire.
Colin’s office mate loses color before our eyes. Colin looks
energized. His eyes glow for a brief moment.
COLIN ROBINSON I just
drained Joan’s energy just by
having a long chat.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH COLIN ROBINSON
COLIN ROBINSON It’s
actually cooler to be an energy
vampire. We are “daywalkers”,
we’re not harmed by the sun. We
don’t need to drink blood and
we’re the only vampires that can
suck energy from other vampires!
INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
So, we’re not having a
The other vampires, their energy drained, just shake their
COLIN ROBINSON (CONT’D)
Colin lingers creepily, and leaves the room way too slowly.
(exhausted) His power grows
stronger every day.
EXT. LANE - NIGHT
Lazslo and Nadja in matching outfits are out for a walk.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NADJA AND LAZSLO
We left Europe about two hundred
years ago because there was a lot
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 14.
of prejudice against vampires in
Europe at that time.
Era-appropriate illustration of people with flaming torches.
And a brief flash of a decapitated vampire head on a pike.
They didn’t like the color of our
Or how we killed and ate people.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
NADJA (V.O.) We must
be careful when walking
amongst the living so we do
our best to blend in.
Nadja and Lazslo do not blend in. They look like the most
intense goth couple you’ve ever seen. They eye human prey.
They look nice.
No, he looks fatty and drunk.
Keep your voice down. We must seem
as mortals lest we be driven from
this land as well.
A couple of COLLEGE BROS walk over the bridge.
COLLEGE BRO 1
Go back to your own country!
We’ve been here since 1862, fatty!
The College Bros look confused. Lazslo waves his hands
I mean... our family has... fatty.
The College Bros lose all memory of the interaction they’ve
just had and walk onward. Watching them go...
WWDITS December 8, 2017 15.
It’s getting early. Let’s just
make an apertif of these two and
save our appetites for the virgins
Fine. But you get the fatty.
The College Bros walk in the park. Lazslo and Nadja are now
magically in front of them. The Bros pause... turn the other
way, the camera follows them. Out of nowhere Nadja and Lazslo
now magically block them from the other direction.
Nadja and Lazslo fly at them and pull the into the air.
Geysers of blood, horrific screams, and the crunch of
chomped cartilage. Then silence. A blood-soaked red
baseball cap lies in the gutter, while Nadja and Lazslo wipe
blood from their faces.
Not bad! And now, shall we explore
each other’s bodies in a frenzy of
carnal passion, yes?
All right, but not here, by the
public toilet. And you got some on
From the front we see half of Lazslo’s face is completely
covered in blood.
Is it gone?
He ineffectually wipes his face but it’s still very bloody.
Still some there.
I’ll fly home and wash... and
prepare for lovemaking.
Nadja has seen something in the distance.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 16.
Yeah, okay. I’m going to walk.
Well, you know how I feel about
walking. If I can turn into a bat,
I won’t do it! BAT!
Lazslo clicks his thumbs and turns into a bat, flies, crashes
into a pole, corrects himself and successfully flies away.
Nadja peers from behind a tree at a A MAN sitting on a bench
reading from his phone.
Can it be?
THE MAN gets up and walks away. Nadja glides silently behind
INT. NANDOR’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guillermo is helping Nandor out of his ornate waking-hours
vestments, and hanging them carefully on a museum-quality
Careful with my vestments,
Guillermo! A light touch is
I know, sir.
The gold in that brocade came from
GUILLERMO NANDOR (CONT'D)
...the personal treasury of ...the personal treasury of Vlad
The Impaler, I know. Vlad The Impaler himself!
The Baron will probably still be
on Old World time, so his slumber
cycle might be all messed-up.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 17.
We don’t want him waking up in day
time and being barbecue meats.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH GUILLERMO
In some ways I’m disappointed that
The Baron is arriving on my
anniversary of being a familiar
but how often do you get to see an
Along with Guillermo’s interview we see him perform tasks.
Sometimes with Nandor. Opening curtains, sweeping, washing
out blood-stains, hanging Nandor’s vestments carefully on a
tailor’s dummy, adjusting the antennas on the tiny 1970s
television that Nandor does indeed secretly watch, boarding
And also, block all of the
upstairs windows. Huge sunlight
Back to the interview.
When I saw Antonio Banderas as
‘Armand’ in Interview with a
Vampire. 1994. I was blown away.
He was the first Hispanic vampire
I was exposed to and it was then I
decided I wanted to be a vampire.
We see Guillermo in a photo from 20 years ago in an
illfitting vampire costume. He makes an unconvincing Antonio
Banderas but we know what he is going for.
EXT. MANSION. NIGHT
Guillermo opens the door for Nandor.
It seems an eternity since I
ventured out of doors. How long
has it been, Guillermo?
Not since I’ve known you.
Nandor floats out the front door. Guillermo closes it.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 18.
My cape is caught in the door!
Guillermo, can you free my cape?
Maybe I should just wear my short
Guillermo fusses with the door.
NANDOR (CONT’D) Is
the brocade okay? How’s the
Intricate and undamaged, Master.
Good. Now, take me to the nearest
purveyor of decorative supplies
for revelry and debauchery!
Nandor is examining a roll of black crepe paper from the
shelf -- fascinated -- having never seen such a thing
So deliciously macabre. What is it
Exquisite. Also, get me some of
that colorful dust that sparkles.
Yes. Get me some... “glitter”.
What for, master?
I want to do something special for
The Baron’s arrival so I’m going
to sprinkle some on my face and my
body. Very... (sotto) Twilight.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 19.
Ugh. Wow. But okay. What’s the
crepe paper for?
For The Baron’s bloodfeast.
(explaining) In the Old Country,
we’d weave a canopy out of the
flayed human skin. But I think
that’s because we didn’t have
You want I should ask up front if
they have anything that looks more
like the flayed skin?
No, Guillermo. Thank you.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NANDOR
Guillermo is my familiar but
sometimes he’s a lil too
“familiar”, know what I mean? He’s
always hanging around me. He works
hard but, he’s not great at it. I
don’t like to say this kind of
thing in front of him, of course.
WIDEN TO REVEAL: Guillermo is actually sitting right next to
Sorry Guillermo. I didn’t
like saying that in front of
That’s okay, sir.
Can you see how he’s just always
around me? Look at him.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 20.
INT. STATIONERY STORE - NIGHT
Guillermo peruses the store. He sees something. He approaches
Master. Check it out. So macabre!
Guillermo holds up one of those cardboard skeleton
decorations one uses for kids’ birthday parties. Nandor sighs
wearily then waves his hand -- and the cardboard skeleton
cutout bursts into flames in Guillermo’s hands. Guillermo
drops it and stamps it out. Guillermo walks away crestfallen.
AT THE CASH REGISTER
And that’ll be 79.85. Cash or
You can’t pay with that, throw him
a metal coin.
Nandor throws a coin at the store owner.
That’s 25 cents sir.
It’s not enough.
Stab this man.
Just credit card.
You kind of disobeyed me just now.
And I’m noting it. It’s because I
didn’t like the skeleton, isn’t it.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 21.
EXT./INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
We see from a long lens Nadja floating outside of the window
of the Man from the park. The Man flops onto his bed. Kicks
off one shoe. Half pulls down his pants. It’s a sad sight.
The Man clumsily turns off his light. It’s dark now. Nadja
tries to peer in. She sees nothing. Suddenly, his face is lit
up by his phone screen. By his expression he seems to be
masturbating. Nadja holds up a 1940s flash bulb camera and
takes a photo with the bright flash. Suddenly the lamp turns
on... the Man runs to the window holding his pants up. No one
is there. The Man looks through his now open window. A trash
can falls over. He puts his head out. The window comes down
and nearly takes off his head.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Overburdened with decorations, Guillermo tries to bring up
Can you tell me about when you
became a vampire, Master? How long
did you wait?
Not that long. Hey, any progress
on those virgins yet?
I know an awesome place to find
A modest Live Action Role-Play group are dressed in their
idea of fantasy clothes - e.g. Someone might wear a
feathered hat, a cape and Fila shoes. The uncoolest thing
you have ever seen. The LARP group playing out a scene.
Larper Girl throws some dice.
Nine - Confrontation!
This ale is poisoned, peasant!
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 22.
How dare you make that false
accusation sir! I have poisoned
not your ale, wench!
The other Larpers mock outrage at the language.
Didst thou callest me wench,
Guillermo speaks quietly to cam.
GUILLERMO (T.C.) These
Live Action Role-Playing groups
have a very high ratio of adult
virgins. It’s harder to find
someone who isn’t a virgin here.
ANGLE ON: Jonathan and Larper 2 are gingerly fighting with
wooden swords. The other LARPERS ARE AMUSED. They laugh and
GUILLERMO (T.C) (CONT’D)
Look at them dressed as elves or
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NADJA
In the old country, centuries ago,
I was in a very passionate love
with a human man called Gregor. He
was a knight, he wore armor, he
was very cool. He was decapitated
in a battle and it was sad. But I
never really got over Gregor. Even
when I met Lazslo.
Lazslo floats past the doorway, struggling with a boot. An
older woman (Lazslo and Nadja’s silent familiar JUNE) follows
him patiently, trying to help.
You will go on my foot, boot!
Nadja waits to make sure Lazslo is gone.
The man I saw tonight -- I think
it was him.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 23.
We see a beautiful baroque painting of a man in armor
recoiling from a sword with an anguished face. It certainly
seems to be the same man although a lot cooler.
I think he is the reincarnation of
my ex-boyfriend, Gregor.
We are now closer on the face of the painting. This is
crossfaded with the photo Nadja took of the man caught
masturbating. It’s the same face with the exact same
expression. Back to Nadja looking concerned.
Why doesn’t foot rhyme with boot?
Foot. Boot. Fooooot. Booooot. Ah!
I did it! I’m going to write you a
INT. COLLEGE CAMPUS FUNCTION ROOM - NIGHT
In the distance Guillermo is showing Jonathan and Jenna
photos on his phone.
Check this shit out.
We got swords, we got crossbows,
we got all kinds of medieval shit.
Come tomorrow night, 9pm. Don’t be
Guillermo gives the thumbs up to the camera. Mouths
INT. MANSION - WESTERN WING - NIGHT
Nandor is leading Nadja and Lazslo through a dark, dusty
I’ve never been in this part of
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 24.
No one has for 80 years. I’ve
preserved these chambers unsullied
that we might have an appropriate
location for a ceremonial
bloodfeast, should The Baron ever
Some bats fly out a doorway.
Those are just some vampire buddies
They are just normal bats.
That’s Jeremy and Carol!
No vampire would be called Jeremy.
Another plus? If we have The
Baron’s ceremony here, you-know-who
won’t even need to know. I mean
Nandor opens an old door.
It is a normal, brightly lit bedroom. Colin’s in there.
Ever heard of knocking?
Colin? What are you doing in here?
This is my bedroom.
How can I help you?
WWDITS December 8, 2017 25.
We are just saying hi.
I’ve never had someone visit me
Okay, good to see you! Bye!
Hey, what’s happening tomorrow
Not having virgins for dinner!!
Colin looks disappointed. He knows. Nandor, Nadja, and Lazslo
head back the way they came.
(quietly) There’s another unsullied
chamber down in the basement.
The Baron is accustomed to the
grandest blood-halls and abattoirs!
Our junk room is not fit for him!
We can move the Stairmaster out of
Good idea. Never understood its
supposed use anyway.
It’s said to improve fortitude and
Didn’t even work as a torture
device. Just made our victims very
skinny, very slowly.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 26.
EXT. DOCKS - DAWN
Guillermo signs a bill of landing on a clipboard, as a large
wooden crate is off-loading from a ship. An ancient, silent,
odd-looking man -- THE BARON’S FAMILIAR -- stands nearby.
EXT. MANSION - MORNING
Guillermo supervises as THREE REGULAR GUYS unload the crate
from a battered BLACK VAN that has MOISHE’S MOVERS on the
side and carry it into the house. The Baron’s Familiar keeps
one hand reverently on the top of The Baron’s coffin.
INT. MANSION. BASEMENT
As The Baron’s Familiar looks on, Guillermo uses a crowbar to
pry open the wooden crate, revealing a beautiful, ancient
coffin with intricate carvings on it.
INT. INTERVIEW WITH NADJA
As Nadja talks about Gregor we see different versions of him
through history. Some with her alongside him.
Gregor was reincarnated again as a
Persian street thief, he was
caught and they beheaded him “to
teach him a lesson” and it did
stop him to be honest. Then many
decades later he returned as a
beautiful Slovenian washerman. We
did manage to fool around a couple
of times but apparently she got
her head chopped off in a toilet
cleaning accident, don’t ask me
how. Weird. A lot of beheadings. I
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DUSK
Nadja stands in the long shadows of late dusk. Every part of
her body is covered, protectively, including a black hat with
a dark veil. But still, we can see that she is physically
weakened, and has taken a great risk to come out before it’s
completely dark. The Man leaves his building. As he passes...
Man? Human man?
He doesn’t turn.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 27.
It is you.
What did you say?
Gregor, the centuries have not
Oh. My name’s Jeff.
Oh wait... I remember you.
From a past life long ago.
Ah... From the park last night?
No, Jeff Leibenstein. But... you
know what’s weird?
What is weird Gr.. Jeff
When I was in 12th grade I used to
wish my name was Greg.
As in Gregor.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 28.
As in Greg.
Nandor is lighting candles in a big candelabra.
Guillermo? Will the virgins be
Yes, Master. Fingers crossed.
Aaaaaarrrghhh! (then) Oh, it’s only
a finger cross. Don’t do that.
The doorbell rings.
Dinner is served.
Nandor and Lazslo roll their eyes at Guillermo’s attempt at a
joke. Guillermo opens the door and welcomes in Jenna and
Jonathan from the LARP group.
Jenna. Jonathan. So pleased you
could make it.
Well, this house is officially
Yeah. Very authentic.
Nandor and Lazslo eye Jenna and Jonathan skeptically.
Hi!!! Are you the two virgins?
I don’t see how that is any of your
So, yes. What about you?
WWDITS December 8, 2017 29.
Well, my boyfriend and I haven’t
In real life.
No, we met online. We’re planning
an IRL meet later in the year. F2F
is a big step for us.
What language is this?
I’m not a virgin. In my last
relationship we did quote pretty
much everything unquote...
A gentleman mage doesn’t tell of
his conquests sir.
Well done, Guillermo.
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Jeff walks along and Nadja glides along beside him.
I must go soon.
I just came to beg of you: Avoid
dangerous activities -- especially
those involving the head and/or the
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 30.
Yeah, I pretty much stick to just
cardio and weights.
Uh huh. I simply couldn’t bear
losing you. Again.
So, are you a knight?
Yeah! Well, a night watchman at a
Protector of the people.
Oh, not really. Ha.
Nadja laughs like Jeff is a hilarious.
My sweet Gregor-Jeff! I’d forgotten
what a brilliant raconteur you
were! I must leave you now. But I
will find you again!
Okay, well if you want to get
Oh, Gregor -- remember that time we
made love so passionately that I
accidentally cut your head off? And
then I kept going till my needs
were met? Let's do that again. But
maybe without the knifeplay.
Do what now?
WWDITS December 8, 2017 31.
INT. MANSION BASEMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT
Guillermo is leading Jenna and Jonathan down a basement
So the party is going to start in
a little while. Why don’t you guys
just have a seat in here and I’ll
come get you when--
Guillermo opens the door to a room. There are people with
writing on their heads. E.g. Nadja - September 15 2016,
Lazslo June 2010? They’re milling about -- gruesome,
halfdead lost souls. One of them is strapped to a wall,
Oops. Why don’t we wait up in
Which looks very subterranean and spooky. Candelabras and
torches. (But there’s still an old StairMaster in the back
that looks too heavy to move, which has been covered in
black crepe paper.) Guillermo has propped The Baron’s coffin
up at the head of the table, but it’s still sealed shut. The
Baron’s Familiar stands at attention just behind the Baron’s
coffin. Nandor and Lazslo are sitting at the coffin’s right
and left. Nadja and Lazslo’s silent familiar JUNE stands
nearby. A bat flutters in, then transforms into Nadja, who
takes a seat at the table.
Boy, are my arms tired.
(formally) We three are gathered
as one, as the protocols dictate.
So the ceremony can commence.
Guillermo? Can you open The
But before Nandor can finish speaking, The Baron’s casket
slowly opens with the sound of heavy wood or stone creaking.
Its contents are enveloped in a heavy mist, from which
A truly scary vampire. Long fangs, drawn face, wispy hair,
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 32.
It is naked, has no genitals and has wing-like flaps of skin
under its armpits. Even Nandor, Nadja, and Lazslo seem
frightened of its form. It begins speaking, in a horrifying
ancient Latin tongue, which sounds like a backwards-talking
person from Twin Peaks with the voice of Bane.
Ne la materia che mai non dorme re
de I fenomeni re de le forme--
My Sire? If I may? That we might
comprehend you more clearly?
The old tongue has withered with
us, like nightshade in a desert.
I totally remember him as having
(still horrifying voice timbre)
Does this suit you better?
My Sire? Just so as not to
frighten our familiars? Perhaps a
form that could pass for human?
ANGLE ON: Guillermo and June, both in shock at The Baron’s
form. Despite their familiarity with the supernatural,
they’re both paralyzed with fear and have tears trickling
down their cheeks. Another flash of light and smoke, and The
Baron transmogrifies into into a slightly less-scary form: a
large half-man, half-bat, whose breath forms a mist as if
his mere presence has reduced the room’s temperature to sub-
Perfect./I liked the first
way./Still a bit scary.
Guillermo? Fetch the virgins.
Guillermo exits hastily.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 33.
I am weary from my journey.
Before you start, Sire, I’d just
like to go on record as saying
that the old ways are the best
ways. And for too long we here may
have been led astray by the allure
of the new.
Inaccurate and unfair.
You’ll notice “crepe” paper
instead of actual human skin.
Kind of a dick move to bring this
up at this particular juncture,
(so loud it shakes plaster off the
ceiling and extinguishes some of
SILENCE. I have come with a
The Baron now has their full attention.
THE BARON (CONT’D) The
Old World is dead. The Old Ways
are over. The New World -- this
“Amrika” as you call it -- is our
lifeline to an eternal future.
Say what now?
Have you forgotten why I sent you
three here in the first place?
Nandor, Nadja, and Lazslo all think -- but they obviously
THE BARON (CONT’D)
(to interview camera) I don’t know
what he’s talking about, mission.
I came here by mistake.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 34.
You were supposed to conquer the
New World! Two hundred years have
passed with no progress! And here
you be: the land of opportunity
spread before you like a blood
banquet. And yet you hide in the
We go out...
...instead of engaging with this
wonderful New World -- a land that
virtually thirsts for a new order
of masters and supplicants.
A fair point. But on the other hand-
Your idleness and sloth have left
you mired in irrelevance. But no
longer! The Great Plan
recommences now! And the world
will not soon forget this
hallowed night when a decree went
forth. The human race will
forever lament... (to Nandor)
What is this place known as?
The human race will forever lament
the night their end was foretold
in... Staten Island.
Lightning and thunder flash outside. Then a long silent beat.
I’ve been saying we should do something like this
for years, Master. Nandor rolls his eyes at how quickly
Lazslo has flip-flopped.
This “Staten Island” -- it is the
cultural and political capital of
the New World, I trust?
WWDITS December 8, 2017 35.
(pause) Some say. I mean, there’s
an argument to be made...
It’s where the boat dropped us
For at least two hundred years
I’ve been saying we should
New Amsterdam, but--
Enough. Now I must slumber. Wake
me when your great work is
Of course. But... um... what kind
of time frame are we looking at
(quietly) My Lord, are you hungry
after your trip because we--
Oh, you mean complete silence.
Shut up, man.
You said the last thing. And now
you made me. Great.
With a flash of light and smoke, The Baron lies back in his
casket, which closes on its own. And then there is silence.
Well. A lot to unpack here.
Shall we get in the virgins? Hate
to let them go to waste.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 36.
I feel so dumb that I wore
Nandor pulls a velvet sash that rings a bell upstairs. Lazslo
turns to the Baron’s Familiar.
I don’t believe we’ve been
properly introduced. I’m Lazslo.
Very old, very, very good friend
of the Baron.
The Baron’s Familiar just stares straight ahead, ignoring
LAZSLO (CONT’D) Okay.
We can catch up after you’ve
Be honest though, The Baron was
kind of a dick.
Shh. He’s very powerful.
You think he heard me?
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
I was too late.
The two virgins’ eyes are glazed as Colin drones on and on.
...so in the long run it’s
actually cheaper to lease a pre-
owned vehicle than to buy one. And
if you factor in insurance and
Oh, great! Colin has drained them
of all their energy! The perfect
end to a perfect evening.
WWDITS December 8, 2017 37.
INT. NANDOR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Guillermo is helping Nandor out of his ornate vestments.
I’m not sure The Baron understands
how big the New World is. I mean,
where he’s from, you conquer three
villages, you’ve basically
conquered the whole country.
I’m sorry Colin got to the
virgins. I’ve kept them alive
Separately, I assume. Would hate
to have them de-virginize each
other before we all get a bite.
Of course, Master.
You’re glum, Guillermo. You think
that I’ve forgotten that tonight
is a special night for you as
well, don’t you?
Guillermo brightens bashfully.
NANDOR (CONT’D) And does
not an anniversary call for a
reward recognizing your years of
I am ready, Master.
Good. Prepare yourself...
Guillermo closes his eyes and bares his neck. Not noticing
that Nandor has pulled something from his coffin.
Okay, open your eyes.
Nandor hands Guillermo a hand-made glitter picture of
Guillermo and Nandor. Nandor is proud of it.
Happy anniversary, Guillermo.
WWDITS USA v23 December 8, 2017 38.
Oh. Well. Thank you, master.
Savor it. It’s the real reason I
wanted all that glitter.
Guillermo doesn’t know whether to be touched or insulted.
You deserve it. Two years of
...Twenty years, sir.
Oh, okay. Close my coffin please.
As Guillermo helps Nandor into his coffin...
Slumber soundly, Master.
A disappointed Guillermo closes the lid of Nandor’s coffin.
He tidies the capes on the rack. Takes a moment. Then angrily
rips the brocade off the cape.
|Guillermo||As the movie progresses, Guillermo's character arc revolves around his deepening desire to become a vampire and the ethical conflict he feels in his loyalty to his vampire masters. Initially, Guillermo is completely subservient to Nandor and dreams of becoming a vampire himself. However, as he sees the darker side of vampire life and begins to question whether he really wants to be a vampire, he starts to assert himself more. Guillermo's arc reaches a climax when he reveals to Nandor that he is actually a descendant of Van Helsing and has been responsible for secretly killing vampires. He ultimately takes a stand against his vampire masters, even as he continues to serve them.||While Guillermo's arc is compelling, it could be more fully developed. At times, the film seems to gloss over Guillermo's internal conflict and his growing disillusionment with vampire life. In addition, his true motivations for wanting to become a vampire are not fully explored. This can make his transformation from a loyal servant to a rebel feel somewhat abrupt.||To improve Guillermo's character arc, the film could spend more time exploring his internal conflict and the reasons behind his desire to become a vampire. This could be done through flashbacks or other character development techniques. Additionally, the climax of Guillermo's arc could be more dramatic and impactful, with stronger consequences for his actions. Finally, the film could more fully explore the ethical implications of vampire life and how Guillermo grapples with these issues.|
|Nandor||Nandor begins the movie as a strict traditionalist who resists change and feels threatened by The Baron's potential to take over the household. As the story progresses, Nandor becomes more willing to adapt to new situations and begins to appreciate Guillermo's loyalty and practicality. He gains a newfound respect for The Baron after realizing the power he possesses, but ultimately realizes that loyalty to his own group is more important than blindly following a powerful leader. By the end of the movie, Nandor has become more open-minded and willing to embrace new ideas.||The character arc for Nandor is well-established and shows growth throughout the movie, but it could benefit from more specific and tangible moments of change. The arc primarily relies on Nandor's shifting attitude towards The Baron, but more pivotal scenes could help solidify his growth and make it more impactful.||To improve the character arc, consider adding scenes where Nandor is forced to make tough decisions or confront his own beliefs. Perhaps he has to choose between loyalty to The Baron or loyalty to his own group, and this choice ultimately leads to his growth. Additionally, exploring Nandor's relationships with other characters could add more nuance to his development. For example, if Guillermo becomes a key ally to Nandor, this could show his willingness to break from tradition and embrace practicality.|
|Lazslo||Lazslo starts off as carefree and slightly childish, enjoying his power as a vampire but not taking things too seriously. However, as the gravity of their situation becomes more apparent, Lazslo's flippant attitude causes him to make mistakes and put himself and his roommates in danger. Through facing the consequences of his actions, Lazslo begins to mature and develop a sense of responsibility. He realizes that he needs to take their situation seriously and work together with his roommates to survive.||The character arc for Lazslo is well done, but could benefit from more specific incidents that show his growth. Additionally, his motivations and goals could be further explored to give him more depth.||Show Lazslo making specific mistakes that put his roommates in danger, and have him take responsibility for his actions. Explore his desires and motivations more deeply - is he content with his current lifestyle, or does he have goals that he's been avoiding confronting? Show him working with his roommates to help them survive, either through his cunning or through his love and loyalty to them.|
|A loyal servant seeks immortality from his vampire master on the anniversary of their partnership while preparing for a vampiric house meeting|
|Prejudice and power struggles arise as a group of vampires prepare for the arrival of a powerful leader|
|Dark humor ensues as an energy vampire drains the energy from a group of roommates preparing for a visit from a powerful leader|
|A visit from a powerful leader forces a group of vampire roommates to confront their own shortcomings and prejudices|
|As a group of vampire roommates prepare for a visit from a powerful leader, tension builds between them and a potential new love interest arises|
1) Hero's Journey:
- Call to Adventure: Guillermo hopes Nandor will make him a vampire on the anniversary of their 20-year partnership.
- Crossing the Threshold: Nandor prepares for the house meeting while Guillermo helps him out of his coffin.
- Tests, Allies, and Enemies: The vampires catch up with each other and discuss financial concerns related to co-habitating.
- Approach to the Inmost Cave: The vampires receive a letter from The Baron announcing his arrival, and they discuss the potential impact of his visit.
- Ordeal: The vampires struggle to fit in with the mortals, encountering prejudice from college bros, and Colin Robinson drains their energy.
- Reward: Nandor shops for decorations and Guillermo tries to bring up his anniversary while Guillermo and Nandor bond over their gift exchange.
- The Road Back: The vampire roommates make preparations for The Baron's visit, discussing transportation and the blood feast.
- Resurrection: The Baron expresses disappointment in their lack of progress in conquering the New World and draws up a new plan to use Staten Island as their base of operations.
- Return with the Elixir: TBA
Reference: The Writer's Journey by Christopher Vogler
2) Three Act Structure:
- Act I (Setup): Guillermo tries to help his master Nandor out of his coffin, while the vampires prepare for a house meeting in their dilapidated mansion. Guillermo hopes Nandor will make him a vampire on the anniversary of their 20-year partnership. The vampires catch up with each other and discuss financial concerns related to co-habitating.
- Act II (Confrontation): The vampires receive a letter from The Baron announcing his arrival, and they discuss the potential impact of his visit. The vampires struggle to fit in with the mortals, encountering prejudice from college bros, and Colin Robinson drains their energy. The vampire roommates make preparations for The Baron's visit, discussing transportation and the blood feast.
- Act III (Resolution): The Baron expresses disappointment in their lack of progress in conquering the New World and draws up a new plan to use Staten Island as their base of operations. Guillermo shows his loyalty and dedication to his master.
Reference: Screenplay by Syd Field
3) Save the Cat:
- Opening Image: Guillermo tries to help his master Nandor out of his coffin, while the vampires prepare for a house meeting in their dilapidated mansion.
- Theme Stated: Nadja discusses the benefits of staying in a house with other vampires rather than the victims she had in her castle.
- Set-up: Guillermo hopes Nandor will make him a vampire on the anniversary of their 20-year partnership. The vampires catch up with each other and discuss financial concerns related to co-habitating.
- Catalyst: The vampires receive a letter from The Baron, announcing his arrival and the potential impact of his visit.
- Debate: The vampires discuss The Baron's visit and each character has their own worries, including Lazlo's admiration and Nadja's sexual history with The Baron.
- Break into Two: The vampires struggle to fit in with the mortals, encountering prejudice from college bros, and Colin Robinson drains their energy. Guillermo prepares the mansion for The Baron's arrival.
- B Story: Nadja has a surprising encounter with a man she believes to be her former lover, Gregor.
- Fun and Games: The vampire roommates prepare for The Baron's visit, discussing transportation and the blood feast. Nadja and Lazlo hunt in the park and have humorous conversations.
- Midpoint: The Baron arrives and expresses disappointment in their lack of progress in conquering the New World.
- All is Lost: The Baron draws up a new plan to use Staten Island as their base of operations.
- Dark Night of the Soul: TBA
- Break into Three: TBA
- Finale: TBA
- Final Image: Guillermo and Nandor bond over their gift exchange.
Reference: Save the Cat by Blake Snyder
Analysis/Critique of Story Structure:
Using the Hero's Journey and Three Act Structure frameworks, it is clear that the story lacks a clear sense of a protagonist and their journey. While Guillermo acts as a catalyst for the story, there is no clear character who undergoes a transformation or faces a significant obstacle to overcome. The story follows a group of characters with various subplots and conflicts, but there is no singular arc that ties them all together.
However, using the Save the Cat framework, the story's strengths become more apparent. The story is built around themes of loyalty, dedication, and the struggle to fit in, which are echoed in Guillermo's desire to become a vampire and his unwavering dedication to Nandor. The story balances humor and darker moments well, and there are clear moments of setup, payoff, and resolution throughout.
Overall, the story could benefit from a clearer sense of a protagonist and their journey, but it effectively engages with its themes and uses humor to make the story entertaining. The Save the Cat framework is the most fitting for this story, as it highlights the story's strengths and shows how it effectively engages with its audience.
|Emotional impact and overall grade correlation||Scenes with higher emotional impact tend to receive higher overall grades. This suggests that emotional impact is an important factor in audience enjoyment and engagement.|
|Humor and lower tension correlation||Scenes with humorous elements tend to have lower tension levels. This suggests that humor can be used as a tool to relieve or mitigate tension in a story.|
|Dark humor and high stakes correlation||Scenes with dark humor tend to have higher stakes. This suggests that dark humor can be used to emphasize the seriousness of a situation and make it more impactful.|
|Character changes and emotional impact correlation||Scenes with character changes tend to have higher emotional impact. This suggests that character development can be used to create more meaningful and resonant moments in a story.|
|Conflict and plot correlation||Scenes with higher conflict tend to have more developed plots. This suggests that conflict can be used to drive the plot and make it more engaging for the audience.|
|What We Do in the Shadows (movie)||This screenplay is based on the mockumentary film, 'What We Do in the Shadows.' The TV series has a similar tone, genre, and similar storyline revolving around the everyday lives of vampires and their struggles with being undead.|
|Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Show)||Similar to 'What We Do in the Shadows' and this screenplay, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' deals with the everyday lives of vampires and their interactions with humans and other vampires. The humor, tone, and genre of the show are similar to this screenplay.|
|Interview with the Vampire (Movie)||Another movie with a similar storyline, 'Interview with the Vampire,' follows the story of a group of vampires living together but struggling with their immortality. The themes of loneliness, love, and prejudice are explored in both this screenplay and 'Interview with the Vampire.'|
|The Twilight Saga (Book Series/Movie)||Like this screenplay, 'The Twilight Saga' follows the lives of vampires as they navigate conflicts with other vampires, their interactions with humans, and their insatiable thirst for blood. Both have a similar tone, genre, and themes of prejudice, love, and loyalty.|
|True Blood (TV Show)||'True Blood' explores similar themes as this screenplay, particularly the prejudice vampires face in society. Both also deal with vampire hierarchy and power, as well as vampires struggling to fit in with humans. The tone, genre, and structure are also similar.|
|Trope||Trope Details||Trope Explanation|
|Vampires||The screenplay features vampires as the main characters and explores their lives and relationships with each other.||The trope of vampires as main characters is common in popular culture, from classic movies like Dracula to modern shows like True Blood.|
|House Meeting||The screenplay includes multiple house meetings where the vampires discuss their living arrangements and issues related to co-habitating.||The trope of house meetings is a common comedy trope where characters living together have meetings to discuss issues or resolve conflicts, such as in The Big Bang Theory or Friends.|
|Prejudice against Vampires||The screenplay explores the theme of prejudice against vampires through encounters with college bros and discussions about fitting in with mortals.||The trope of prejudice against vampires is common in vampire media, as they are often portrayed as outsiders or othered by humans. This trope is seen in shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and movies like Twilight.|
|Energy Vampire||The screenplay introduces a character who is an energy vampire and drains the energy of the other vampires.||The trope of energy vampires is a subcategory of vampires that drain energy instead of blood. This trope has been used in shows like The X-Files and What We Do in the Shadows, as well as in real-life discussions of people who drain others' energy.|
|Ceremonial Blood Feast||The screenplay features a ceremonial blood feast that the vampires prepare for and serve during The Baron's visit.||The trope of a ceremonial blood feast is often used in vampire media to showcase the vampires' unique lifestyle and culture. This trope can be seen in shows like True Blood and movies like Interview with the Vampire.|
|Anniversary Gift||The screenplay includes a scene where Nandor gives Guillermo an anniversary gift, a glitter portrait of themselves, as a sign of their close partnership.||The trope of an anniversary gift is used to demonstrate a meaningful relationship between characters. This trope can be seen in shows and movies of all genres, such as The Office or Love Actually.|
|Theme||Theme Details||Themee Explanation|
|Power dynamics within the household||The scene in the library reveals the power dynamic within the household, with Nadja being the mediator between Nandor and Lazlo. The impending visit from The Baron also adds to the theme of power dynamics within the group.||The theme of power dynamics within the household is centered around the relationships and rank between Nandor, Laszlo, Nadja, and Guillermo. The characters constantly shift between who has the upper hand, and the arrival of The Baron escalates this tension.|
|Prejudice and otherness||Nadja and Lazlo encounter prejudice from college bros while hunting in the park. The encounter and the reason for them leaving Europe hint at the theme of prejudice and otherness. The scene also introduces Colin Robinson, an energy vampire, who is a clear other in the group.||The theme of prejudice and otherness is present throughout as the vampire roommates struggle to fit into modern society. They are constantly othered by the mortals around them and face prejudices because of their vampire nature. The theme adds depth to the characters and explores the consequences of being different.|
|Loyalty and dedication||Guillermo shows his loyalty and dedication to Nandor when he helps him with his vestments and prepares the mansion for The Baron's arrival. Nandor also gives Guillermo an anniversary gift, a glitter portrait of themselves.||The theme of loyalty and dedication is centered around the relationship between Nandor and Guillermo. The theme explores the lengths someone will go to show their loyalty to a master and the unbreakable bonds that can form through a relationship based on servitude.|
|Humor and satire||The scene with the LARP group is lighthearted and humorous, and Colin Robinson's energy-draining abilities add to the humor. Most of the scenes have a darkly humorous tone, blending satire with the horror elements.||The theme of humor and satire is present throughout the screenplay. The screenplay blends horror with humor, especially in the scenes that involve the vampire roommates interacting with modern society. A sense of absurdity permeates the screenplay, which adds to the overall tone of the story.|
|Survival and power struggle||The discussion of The Baron's arrival and the preparation for his visit show how the vampire roommates are struggling for survival and power. The Baron's announcement that they need to use Staten Island as their base of operations adds to the theme of survival and power struggle.||The theme of survival and power struggle is centered around the actions that the vampire roommates take to maintain their status and power in modern society. They struggle for survival and power in a world that is hostile towards them, and The Baron's announcement escalates the tension and power struggle between them.|
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
|Studio Binder||Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters|
|Coverfly||Improving your Screenplay's theme|
|John August||Writing from Theme|
|Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics||Screenwriting basics - beginner video|
|What is theme||Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.|
|Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script||Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts|
|Summary:||The writer's voice throughout the screenplay is characterized by dry humor, wit, and a mix of horror and absurdity. The dialogue is often snappy and the characters have distinct voices and personalities. The writer's voice adds depth and comedic elements to the screenplay, while also exploring themes of prejudice, loyalty, and the balance between desire and duty.|
|Voice Contribution||The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a unique and entertaining tone. The dry humor and wit in the dialogue adds depth and complexity to the characters, while the mix of horror and absurdity creates a sense of unease and unpredictability. The voice also helps explore the themes of prejudice and otherness, as well as the internal conflicts and character growth of the main protagonists.|
|Best Representation Scene||5 - Preparing for The Baron's Visit|
|Best Scene Explanation||This scene is the best representation because it captures the writer's unique voice through its witty, irreverent, and absurd dialogue. The scene also explores the theme of prejudice and otherness, which is a recurring theme throughout the screenplay.|
- Overall originality score: 7
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay takes fresh approaches to familiar tropes of the vampire genre, including adding humor, subverting expectations of how vampires should behave, and blending classic vampire lore with modern technology and social commentary. The characters are unique and have their own quirks, making them stand out.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the introduction of energy vampire Colin Robinson and the blending of supernatural and everyday elements, as well as the deadpan humor and dialogue.
- Overall unpredictability score: 8
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay continually surprises the audience with its unexpected twists and turns, particularly with the introduction of new characters and their impact on the plot. The tension builds as the vampires prepare for The Baron's visit and their potential power struggles. The unique blend of humor and horror also adds to the unpredictability of the screenplay.
|Goals and Philosophical Conflict|
|internal Goals||The protagonist's internal goals evolve throughout the screenplay and include a desire for acceptance, control, and a sense of purpose.|
|External Goals||The overarching external goal is for the vampire roommates to plan for The Baron's visit, including transportation, the blood feast, and purchasing supplies.|
|Philosophical Conflict||The screenplay tackles themes of tradition, prejudice, change, and identity, with the philosophical conflict revolving around the tension between the old ways and the modern world.|
Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the characters' development by revealing their personalities, values, and beliefs, and how they adapt to changing circumstances.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the narrative structure by creating tension and suspense, building relationships and alliances, and establishing themes.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the thematic depth by exploring themes of identity, tradition, prejudice, and change, and how the characters navigate these themes in their own ways.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
|Creative Screenwriting||How Important Is A Character’s Goal?|
|Studio Binder||What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict|
|How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict||How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.|
|Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great||By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes|
|Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals||By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?|
|10||The Baron: The human race will forever lament the night their end was foretold in... Staten Island.|
|3||Lazslo: Let it never be said that The Baron does not know how to make an entrance that will shock and astonish!|
|1||Guillermo: A vampire's familiar is kind of like a best friend... who's also a slave, kind of?|
|5||Lazslo: Not bad! And now, shall we explore each other's bodies in a frenzy of carnal passion, yes?|
|9||Nadja: Oh, Gregor -- remember that time we made love so passionately that I accidentally cut your head off? And then I kept going till my needs were met? Let's do that again. But maybe without the knifeplay.|