Genres: Comedy, Drama
Setting: Contemporary, Greendale Community College
Themes: Identity and Self-Discovery, Friendship and Community, Honesty and Integrity, Acceptance and Forgiveness, Personal Growth and Transformation
Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflicts in this story include Jeff's struggle to find purpose and redemption, the tensions and dynamics within the study group, and the challenges of navigating college life. The stakes involve Jeff's personal growth, the success of the study group, and the pursuit of their individual goals and dreams.
Overall Mood: Comedic and lighthearted with moments of emotional depth
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The opening scene with Dean Pelton's failed speech sets a comedic and chaotic tone.
- Scene 15: The scene where Jeff confesses his true motives for forming the study group has a more introspective and vulnerable tone.
- Ensemble Cast: The show features a diverse and talented ensemble cast, each bringing their unique comedic and dramatic skills to the table.
- Meta-Humor: The show often breaks the fourth wall and parodies various genres and tropes, appealing to viewers who appreciate self-aware and clever storytelling.
- Community College Setting: The setting of a community college provides a unique backdrop for the story, allowing for exploration of themes such as second chances, personal growth, and the value of education.
- Community (TV Show)
- The Breakfast Club (Movie)
- The Office (TV Show)
- Parks and Recreation (TV Show)
- The Big Bang Theory (TV Show)
The writing style of the screenplay is characterized by witty and sarcastic dialogue, humor, and a focus on character dynamics and relationships. There is also a tendency to blend humor with emotional depth in character interactions.
- Dan Harmon
- Tina Fey
Explanation: The screenplay is highly recommended for its witty dialogue, engaging character dynamics, and effective introduction of the main characters. The scenes successfully establish conflicts and tensions, creating intrigue and interest. However, the screenplay would benefit from more visual elements and smoother transitions between scenes. Some characters and their motivations could be better integrated, and certain conflicts and resolutions need clearer development. Overall, the screenplay showcases strong character arcs and explores themes of personal growth and self-discovery, making it a compelling and engaging narrative.
USP: The Unique Selling Proposition (USP) of this script is its ability to combine humor, satire, and witty dialogue to comment on stereotypes and expectations within a community college setting. The script introduces a diverse group of characters and explores their conflicts, personal struggles, and growth. It tackles sensitive topics with a lighthearted tone, making it compelling and relatable to its target audience. The innovative storytelling techniques, such as the use of a study group as a plot device, add to the script's uniqueness and make it stand out from others in its genre. Overall, this script offers a fresh and entertaining perspective on college life and the complexities of human relationships.
Budget Estimate:$10-15 million
Target Audience Demographics: Young adults aged 18-34, fans of comedy and ensemble casts
Marketability: The show has a dedicated fan base and has gained a cult following over the years. It has the potential to attract a wide audience and generate buzz through its unique blend of comedy, drama, and meta-humor.
The show has a diverse cast and explores compelling themes such as friendship, personal growth, and the value of education. It has the potential to resonate with a wide range of viewers and generate positive word-of-mouth.
The show has received critical acclaim for its clever writing, memorable characters, and meta-commentary on pop culture and television tropes. It has the potential to attract viewers who appreciate smart and self-aware storytelling.
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, as the show has a dedicated fan base and potential for syndication and streaming deals. It also has the potential to attract award nominations and generate revenue through merchandise and licensing.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by wit, humor, and sarcasm. They excel at crafting witty and sarcastic dialogue that reveals the personalities of the characters. The narrative description is concise and focuses on character actions and reactions. The writer's voice adds humor and creates a lighthearted atmosphere throughout the screenplay.
Best representation: Scene 4 - Tension and Conflicts Emerge in the Study Group. This scene could serve as the encapsulation of the writer's unique voice in the screenplay because it showcases the writer's ability to create humorous and absurd situations, as well as explore philosophical ideas through witty dialogue. The characters' actions and interactions reflect the writer's distinct style and voice.
- Jeff: You just stopped being a study group. You have now become something unstoppable. I hereby pronounce you a community. (Scene 7)
- Abed: I'm only half Arabic, actually, my Dad is Palestinian, I mean, he's a U.S. Citizen and he's not a threat to national security or anything, a lot of people want to know that after they meet him, because he has an angry energy, but not like angry at America, just angry at my Mom for leaving him, although she did leave because he was angry, and he was angry because she was American. My name's Abed, by the way. (Scene 1)
- Britta: Yeah, just don't hit on me, okay? (Scene 2)
- DUNCAN: Come on, you're never going to stop taking the easy way out. I'll be helping you for four years. You want to get a degree while taking naps? I want leather seats with built-in ball warmers. Offer expires in ten seconds. (Scene 6)
- Annie: Being younger doesn't make me inferior, if anything, your age indicates you've made bad life decisions. (Scene 5)
Jeff:A charismatic and manipulative former lawyer who forms a study group at Greendale Community College
Britta:A passionate and outspoken student who becomes a member of the study group
Annie:A high-achieving and ambitious student who initially feels excluded from the study group
Troy:A former high school football star who joins the study group
Shirley:A warm and religious mother who becomes a member of the study group
Pierce:An eccentric and wealthy older student who often makes inappropriate comments
Abed:A quirky and pop culture-obsessed student who brings a unique perspective to the study group
Dean Pelton:The eccentric and flamboyant dean of Greendale Community College
Professor Duncan:Jeff's former client and current psychology professor at Greendale Community College
Old Black Woman:A mysterious and wise woman who Jeff encounters multiple times
The Percentile is against the screenplays in our library.
|At least one Character Changes in the scene||5.8||45|
|Story Moves Forward||7.4||32|
|Internal Goal Score||7.9||23|
|External Goal Score||6.8||5|
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Note: This is the synthesis. See scene by scene analysis here
|Dialogue||9.7||100||Breaking bad, episode 306: 8.7||Community: 9.7|
|Characters||8.7||93||Breaking bad, episode 306: 8.6||American beauty: 8.7|
|Overall||8.6||90||Birdman: 8.5||Titanic: 8.6|
|Engagement||8.78||79||Back to the future: 8.77||Silence of the lambs: 8.78|
|Formatting||9.00||46||Mind Hunter: 8.95||Severance: 9.00|
|Character Changes||5.8||41||Requiem for a dream: 5.7||Labyrinth : 5.8|
|Story Forward||7.4||28||Fear and loathing in Las Vegas: 7.3||Bonnie and Clyde: 7.4|
|Structure||8.11||28||The usual suspects: 8.09||Inglorious Basterds: 8.11|
|Concept||7.6||28||Birdman: 7.5||face/off: 7.6|
|Originality||6.11||24||The usual suspects: 6.09||Community: 6.11|
|Conflict Level||6.8||22||Midnight cowboy: 6.7||Donnie Darko: 6.8|
|Internal Goal||7.89||22||The usual suspects: 7.88||Community: 7.89|
|Pacing||8.11||17||Mind Hunter: 8.10||Community: 8.11|
|Plot||7.3||6||Boyz n the hood: 7.2||Good Will Hunting: 7.3|
|High Stakes||4.6||5||The Good place release: 4.5||Community: 4.6|
|Emotional Impact||5.9||4||some like it hot: 5.8||Community: 5.9|
|External Goal||6.78||4||Birdman: 6.66||Community: 6.78|
|Story Content||Character Development||Scene Elements||Audience Engagement||Technical Aspects|
|Scene Number||Full Analysis||Tone||Overall Grade||Concept||Plot||Originality Score||Characters||Character Changes||Internal Goal||External Goal||Conflict||Opposition||High stakes||Story forward||Twist||Emotional Impact||Dialogue||Engagement||Pacing||Formatting||Structure|
|1||Dean Pelton's Inspirational Speech||Humorous, Sarcastic||9||8||7||6||9||4||7||6||6||7||3||8||6||5||9||8||8||9||8|
|2||Jeff enlists Duncan's help to cheat||Humorous, Sarcastic, Conversational||8||7||7||6||8||5||8||7||5||5||3||7||6||4||9||9||7||9||8|
|3||Forming a Spanish Study Group||Light-hearted, Sarcastic, Playful||9||8||7||6||9||4||8||7||6||6||4||7||7||5||10||9||8||9||8|
|4||Morality, Football, and Apologies||Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational||8||7||7||7||9||6||8||6||8||7||5||7||7||5||10||9||8||9||8|
|5||Tension and Conflicts Emerge in the Study Group||Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational||8||7||7||6||9||6||8||7||8||8||4||8||7||5||10||9||9||9||8|
|6||A Deal in the Parking Lot||Humorous, Serious||9||8||8||6||9||7||8||7||8||7||6||8||7||7||10||9||8||9||8|
|7||Jeff's Motivational Speech||Humorous, Reflective||9||8||7||5||9||7||8||7||5||7||4||6||6||8||10||9||8||9||8|
|8||Confrontation in Duncan's Office||Sarcastic, Confrontational, Defiant||8||7||8||7||7||6||8||7||9||8||7||8||7||6||9||8||8||9||9|
|9||A Defeated Jeff Finds Hope in Study Group||Sarcastic, Depressed, Confused, Resigned, Curious, Taken aback, Offering||9||8||8||6||9||7||8||7||6||6||5||8||7||8||10||9||9||9||8|
The campus of a large but humble community college a few
miles from your home. Cambridge bells chime.
Actually, the bells are playing on an old boom box, which is
now stopped by Dean PELTON [40s, rotund], who is holding a
microphone hooked up to it. He is on a small stage at the
front of the courtyard.
He starts to speak into the microphone, realizes it’s not
working and fiddles with the boombox switches. He begins to
speak, but a Busta Rhymes cd starts playing instead:
Yo. I’m high as hell right now,
and I’m about to bust your ass
open, but first -
Pelton, an apparently humorless man, frantically figures out
how to stop the cd, then addresses the students.
Good morning. Many of you are
halfway through your first week
here at Greendale and, as dean, I
thought I would share a word of
Pelton reads from a small stack of index cards:
What is Community College? Well,
you’ve heard all kinds of things.
You’ve heard it’s “loser college”
for young people who couldn’t make
the cut at a university.
ANNIE [18, tightly wound, sweater vest] is walking through
the courtyard when she hears this, causing her to stop.
TROY [18, letter jacket, All American], is seated on a bench
with a breakfast burrito. He looks up, a little put-off.
It’s “halfway school” for
twentysomething dropouts, crawling
back to society with unskilled
tails between their legs.
BRITTA [late 20s, sweatshirt, pony tail, unadorned and
accidentally hot], is interrupted in her confident stride by
what she’s hearing. She stops and looks as if called by
A tax-funded self esteem workshop
for newly divorced housewives
piecing together shattered
SHIRLEY [early 40s, shy, modest 90s attire], was briskly
crossing the courtyard, eyes cast downward. She stops and
looks toward the stage.
and old people hoping to keep their
minds active as they circle the
drain of eternity.
PIERCE [50s, prescription sunglasses, turtleneck, sport
jacket], was talking to a group of young people, but stops.
In fact, Pelton now has the undivided attention of most of
the pedestrians in the courtyard.
That’s what you’ve heard. However:
He flips to the next index card.
I wish you luck. Wait -
Confused, Pelton flips through his cards as the slightly
deflated students resume their activity. Pelton calls out to
There was... a middle part of that
speech, if you see a card...
Walking amongst the rest of the students and not thrilled to
be doing so: JEFF Crocker, [30s, well dressed, dashing but
rough around the edges]. He is paced and orbited by ABED
[20s, Arabic, “geek chic” Weezer fan clothes], who seems
generally intrigued by everything all the time.
I’m only half Arabic, actually, my
Dad is Palestinian, I mean, he’s a
Citizen and he’s not a threat to
national security or anything, a
lot of people want to know that
after they meet him, because he has
an angry energy, but not like angry
at America, just angry at my Mom
for leaving him, although she did
leave because he was angry, and he
was angry because she was American.
My name’s Abed, by the way.
Abed, nice to know you, and then
meet you, in that order. Now about
that question I had.
(looks at watch)
Five after eleven. When you asked.
Thanks. I’ll talk to you in a few
months, if that’s cool.
Oh. Few months. Okay.
Abed starts to walk away but Jeff puts a hand on his
Hey, let me ask you.
Jeff pulls Abed closer and indicates someone in the distance:
It’s Britta, heading into the cafeteria.
The hot girl from Spanish class,
what’s her deal, I can’t find a
road in there.
Well, I’ve only talked to her once
while she was borrowing a pencil,
but her name’s Britta, she’s 28,
birthday in October, she has two
older brothers and one of them
works with children who have a
disorder I might want to look up.
Oh, and she thinks she’s going to
flunk tomorrow’s quiz so she really
needs to focus and she’s sorry if
that makes her seem cold.
Abed, I see your value, now.
That’s the nicest thing anyone’s
ever said to me.
Britta moves down a food line, assembling her meal from bins
of saran wrapped items. Jeff gets in line next to her.
Oh, hey. Spanish.
Yeah, just don’t hit on me, okay?
And as you walk away, don’t call me
a lesbian or say “don’t flatter
Anything I should do?
You should not hit on me.
Listen, I just wanted to let you
know about my Spanish study group.
The guy that spent today’s class
playing Bejeweled on his iphone has
a study group? Am I allowed to
sign up twice?
I’m taking that class for the easy
credit. I actually tutor Spanish.
She turns to him. On the hook but suspicious.
Say that in Spanish. Now.
Jeff sighs, shouldering her cynicism with grace, and uses
gestures to indicate his mind, school and language:
Duermo tarde Espanol, una hora mas,
no rayar mi coche.
Subtitle: I sleep late Spanish, one more hour, do not
scratch my car. She squints. Then surrenders.
I really need help with Spanish.
I was willing to bet. I’m Jeff.
The group meets in the library at
I’ll be there. I’m Britta. Thank
you so much, this is great.
Britta finishes paying for her food and walks away. Jeff
turns to the ELDERLY BLACK WOMAN at the cash register.
Technically, I am in college, so
it’s okay to use a college move,
ELDERLY BLACK WOMAN
Sorry. I was raised on TV, I think
every black woman over fifty is a
cosmic mentor with free advice.
ELDERLY BLACK WOMAN
How about for two twenty five you
can have your damn tacos.
Jeff gets out his wallet.
INT. SCIENCES BUILDING - DUNCAN’S OFFICE
Psychology Professor DUNCAN [30s, low calibre hippy] is
working at his desk in a small office lined with plants,
books and weird art. Jeff appears in his doorway.
You’re a hard man to reach,
Duncan takes a moment to place the face.
Jeff Crocker? Attorney at law?
He stands and shakes Jeff’s hand.
How could I forget? I still can’t
figure out how you got a jury to
connect September 11th with my DUI.
Let alone why it helped.
2002 was a simpler time.
What’s my lawyer doing on campus?
I’m a student.
That can’t be an inspiring journey.
Duncan goes to a dorm-sized fridge and grabs two beers.
Eh, those ivy league twits on the
state bar have had me under a
microscope since I started.
They’ve suddenly decided that even
though I have a law degree, my
college degree isn’t “legitimate.”
Duncan hands Jeff one of the beers.
I thought you had a bachelor’s from
And now I have to get one from
America. They must have noticed
the eagle in the seal was holding
coffee branches. I’m dead in the
water until I replace that degree.
If you’re in my class, I hope
you’re not going to ask for special
Professor, please, I do have rules.
I would never take psychology, it’s
boring. But I was hoping that, as
a teacher, you could get me all the
quizzes, tests and exams for the
classes I am taking this semester.
Jeff places a sheet of paper on Duncan’s desk.
Jeff, you just described - no,
defined cheating. Not only is it
illegal, it’s unethical.
He takes a drink of his own beer.
Well, laws are tools. We reshape
them to suit the job. And you
seemed less concerned with ethics
the day I convinced twelve of your
peers that when you did a U turn on
a freeway and tried to order
chalupas from an emergency call
box, your only real crime was being
You’re saying I owe you.
I’m not saying that. I’m giving
you pieces of a puzzle, which, when
put together, form a picture of you
Duncan gets somber. He surrenders.
I’ll look into it.
Jeff heads for the door.
I’ll be in the library at six, but
by 6:20, my fake study group will
not have shown up and I’ll have to
take a very hot girl to dinner.
Oh, Jeff. Don’t lie to women.
Jeff is seated at a big table, reading a Spanish text book.
Britta walks in. He smiles.
Bienvenido! Have a seat.
Jeff puts a notepad in front of her while she gets settled at
the room’s large table.
You can put your contact info on
here. I guess the group is running
late, but we can get acquainted.
She writes some stuff on the pad.
You may have noticed this morning,
I’m not great at small talk.
I want to talk big. I want to
know, what’s your deal?
That’s not small talk?
What’s your deal and IS GOD DEAD?!
Alright. My deal. I dropped out
of high school to pursue my love of
anarchy. I made a lot of new
friends vandalizing billboards, I
helped coordinate us into a very
large, successful movement of
anarchist billboard vandals, and we
decided I was the leader, which
meant we had to kick me out,
because we were anarchists. Soon
after, they became an advertising
firm. One of their shampoo
billboards is across the street.
The one that says “hey, it’s your
hair, we just want to clean it?”
Power to the people. And you can
go on Facebook and see photos of
their children, who have names like
Hemingway and Chomsky and who are
seated in the backs of SUVs. So I
guess my deal is, be honest with me
and I’ll like you. Because I may
be broke and “crawling back to
society” but I’m doing it having
learned that what’s most important
to me is honesty.
Good thing to learn.
What’s most important to you?
I would say...honesty, because...
I would say anything to get what I
want and I want you to like me.
Very honest answer. So you get
your wish. I like you fine.
Yeah, see how easy.
That’s it, huh? No Looney Tunes
character tattooed on your hip I
have to pretend to love?
Not me. Buy me dinner, don’t lie
to me and we’ll be in bed before
The two of them chuckle at her joke.
- All kidding aside, if you’re
Abed enters. Britta looks as though she was expecting him.
Abed’s in the house! Whoooo!
(good fake enthusiasm)
Whooooo, Abed! Also whyyyyy?
Britta invited me, is that cool?
I can’t think of a single logical
reason why not. Have a seat. And
put your contact info here.
Abed sits down to write on the notepad.
Cool cool cool cool.
Hey, this is kind of like Breakfast
We’re in a library.
With great precision, Jeff reads Abed’s cell number while
punching it into his own phone under the table.
Well, yeah, and we’re students,
from different backgrounds, and I’m
sure we’ve each got a thing, like
an issue, all balled up inside of
us that would make us cry if we
talked about it.
Jeff thumbs something into his phone.
Do you have something balled up
inside you want to talk about?
(thinks about it)
Oh, I got a little doozy in the
chamber I can let loose if things
Abed’s phone beeps. His reaction makes Jeff nervous.
Whoa! Text message. Let’s give
this bad boy a read.
Abed picks up his phone.
I’m sure it’s personal -
- No, I don’t know this person.
“Say you have to pee I need to talk
Jeff pretends to digest it along with the other two, all of
them exchanging confused looks.
“Say you have to pee?”
Professor Duncan ducks his head into the room, sees Jeff,
then sees the others.
Jeffrey, a quick word? About
I’ll be right back. When it’s
about psychology, it’s urgent.
Jeff heads for the door.
What if the group shows up?
They’ll know what to do.
A motley crew of would-be athletes are trying out for the
apparently all-ages track team. Currently, a ninety year old
man is prepping himself on the starting line.
Jeff and Duncan are standing out in the middle of the field.
I could get fired for having this
conversation, so act like you’re
watching the athletic proceedings.
You couldn’t stop me from watching.
There is a man trying out for your
track team that is older than the
game of poker.
And he’s kinda truckin’.
Suppose I did feel indebted to you,
Jeff. And suppose I said it was
possible to get you these answers.
I’d say go for it. And, for future
reference, you can ask me stuff
like that way closer to wherever
we’re originally standing.
I’m asking if you understand the
difference between right and wrong.
I understand “right” and “wrong”
are slippery slopes that end with
presidents who don’t believe
dinosaurs existed. And I’ve
understood since I was a kid that
if I talked long enough, I could
make anything true. So either I’m
God or truth is relative, and in
either case: booyah.
Interesting. The average person
has a harder time saying “booyah”
to moral relativism.
Ian, you don’t have to play shrink
to protect your pride, I accept
that you’re a chicken.
Are you trying to use reverse
psychology on a psychologist?
I’m just using normal psychology on
You can’t talk to me that way!
A six year old girl could talk to
you that way!
Because it would be adorable!
No, because you’re a five year old
girl, and there’s a pecking order!
FINE, I’LL DO IT!
COACH BARTEL (O.S.)
COACH BARTEL [stocky, 40s] is approaching their exchange.
COACH BARTEL (CONT’D)
This is an athletic field, not a
rehearsal of Glengarry Glen Ross,
and I should know, because I run
both the Sports and Theatre
departments. Take it elsewhere.
Jeff and Duncan start walking off the field together. Coach
Bartel calls after them:
COACH BARTEL (CONT’D)
Either of you guys play football?
It’s looking that bad this year.
INT. LIBRARY - STUDY ROOM
Jeff enters, feigning disappointment.
Well, I just found out that the
rest of the group -
Britta is not at the table, but Abed is, along with four new
students: Pierce, Shirley, Troy and Annie. They look at him.
- is here?
Britta’s in the bathroom, I think,
and I invited more people from
Spanish class, is that cool?
Jeff raises a fist that immediately becomes a thumbs-up.
It’s the coolest. I should go to
the bathroom, too. And I should
bring my jacket, keys and wallet in
case there’s a fire.
INT. LIBRARY - LOBBY
Jeff is on his way to the exit doors. He nearly collides
with Britta, who is entering the lobby.
I barely smoke. But that group is
getting big, made me skittish, I
started craving a grit.
Same here. I saw those faces and I
just had to ...suck a ..leaf tube,
Maybe you and I would get more
studying done over -
Britta laughs at the proposition.
- Dinner? Come on, we both know
that’s when the studying stops.
Let’s do this thing first.
She starts walking away, then adds:
If it really turns out to be a
train wreck, we’ll slip out early.
She walks away. Jeff mulls this over.
Oh. I can do a train wreck.
OLD BLACK WOMAN (O.S.)
What a tangled web we weave.
Jeff is startled to see the old black woman from the
cafeteria next to him in the lobby. She’s placing books on a
cart, unloading the overnight return bin.
Don’t you work in the cafeteria?
OLD BLACK WOMAN
I have many jobs. In many places.
Jeff’s jaw drops. She rolls her eyes at him.
OLD BLACK WOMAN (CONT’D)
I’m not magical, I’m underpaid.
You racist jackass.
Jeff heads back to the study room, ready for action.
Jeff settles into his chair at the head of the table. He
looks around the room. There’s Britta, there’s Abed, there’s
Annie the type-A teen, Troy the meat head jock, Shirley the
closed-up ex-housewife and Pierce the weird old man with
neatly brushed grey hair and some kind of stone around his
neck he must have bought at a tarot card store.
Alllll right. Look at this crew.
Alllll ready to study alllll night.
But who studies with strangers,
right? We’re all in the same
class and we don’t even know each
other, my name is Jeff.
Pierce speaks. He talks kind of like George Takei.
Jeff, it’s a pleasure, my name is
Pierce Hawthorne and yes, that is
Hawthorne as in Hawthorne Wipes,
the award winning moist towelette.
I was just going to ask.
I’m also a Rotarian and no stranger
to public speaking so maybe I
should make the introductions. You
already know Britter. Brittles?
My apologies Britta, you also know
A-bed, A-bed the A-reb, is that
(as if asked to get ice)
We’ve got Roy, Roy, the wonder boy
I call him, -
You are correct, and little
princess Elizabeth, -
Very sorry, and finally this
beautiful creature’s name is
Is that even close?
One does not forget Shirley, she is
a very, very fascinating, very
gorgeous young woman.
Shirley does not appear to enjoy the flattery. Jeff makes a
mental note. Annie speaks up.
I’d like to know why I had to find
out about this group on accident.
Oh, this is getting way more like
Breakfast Club, now.
We should get started studying -
Jeff goes into action, seeing an opening for his crowbar.
You know, I’ve been part of a lot
of study groups that fell apart
because of unaddressed tension.
Shouldn’t someone address Annie’s
concern? Did we not invite her?
Well, Annie, sweetie, I guess it
didn’t occur to anyone -
- That’s strange, because I
remember the first day of class, I
asked if anyone was interested in
starting a Spanish study group, and
passed around a sign-up sheet, and
when it came back, all that was on
it was a drawing of a unicorn with
a wiener instead of a horn, a
guitar for a wiener and a dog
emerging from its rear.
That was a cat and he was going in.
(off her look)
What? Everyone added something.
Yes, and then gathered behind my
back for a study group!
Pumpkin, it’s not behind your back,
we just didn’t think about you.
Can we stop with the pumpkins and
the sweeties? Being younger
doesn’t make me inferior, if
anything, your age indicates you’ve
made bad life decisions.
Shirley has a response to that.
No, I don’t.
The entire room encourages her to respond.
Well, I’m sure I’ve made bad life
I decided to spend twenty years
raising children and cleaning up
after a man who ran out the door
ten minutes after winning one-oh-
two-point-seven thousand dollars in
a radio contest. That was a bad
decision. And maybe Annie’s
decisions will be better. And I
think she should decide whether she
wants to be considered a child or
an adult, because a child gets
pity, but not respect, and adults
can get respect but they can also
get grabbed by the hair and have
their faces put through jukeboxes.
Britta quickly composes herself. Annie pouts. Shirley
regains her shyness. Pierce gives her head a supportive
stroke, causing her to wince. Jeff points a pen at Pierce,
shifting to what he hopes is even more fertile ground for
Pierce, let’s discuss this
I beg your pardon?
Are you unaware Shirley finds your
You have been sexually harassing me
since the first day of class!
“Sexually harassing?” That doesn’t
make sense, why would I “harass”
someone that turns me on?
Saying she turns you on is the
Pierce slams the table with his fist.
I am a business leader and a
community pillar and I don’t take
courting advice from teenage boys!
Well this teenage boy is a
quarterback and a prom king, so
maybe you should!
You’re not prom king anymore, Troy,
this isn’t Greendale High.
How did you know I went there?
Because you’re wearing your stupid
letter jacket and more importantly
I SAT BEHIND YOU IN ALGEBRA!
Wait, are you the girl that got
hooked on pills and dropped out?
You’re Little Annie Adderall!
And you’re a stupid jock that lost
his scholarship because he
celebrated getting it with a keg
stand and dislocated both
I’m ready! I’m ready!
Everyone looks at Abed.
I bought one of those big binders
to store my DVDs in. And I left it
in the sun, and the plastic sleeves
melted to the discs, and they’re
all unplayable and it’s my fault!
Abed starts sobbing real tears. Everyone watches, confused.
That’s your Breakfast Club doozy?
I love cinema!
Jeff’s phone rings. He answers.
A very low voice from the other end:
It’s Professor Duncan. Come to the
parking lot. Now.
What’s wrong with your voice?
I’m disguising it.
I’ll be right there.
Jeff hangs up.
Now where are you going?
It’s an emergency. You guys need
to hash this stuff out anyway,
because we can’t study with all
this stuff seething under the
surface. I just hope at least one
of you is here when I get back.
Jeff enters the parking lot, looking around.
Duncan emerges from between two cars, holding a large, thick
Every answer to every test in your
curriculum this semester.
You are the best.
Jeff reaches for the package. Duncan withholds it.
But what do I get?
I thought we had a deal.
Deals are bound by ethics, Jeff.
Deals are for five year old girls.
What do you want.
HA! My luxury sedan for a
semester’s worth of answers?
Come on, you’re never going to stop
taking the easy way out. I’ll be
helping you for four years. You
want to get a degree while taking
naps? I want leather seats with
built-in ball warmers. Offer
expires in ten seconds.
I’m supposed to do what, walk home?
Take my Prius.
Duncan holds up some keys.
It’s good for the Earth.
So is wiping your butt with a leaf
but it’s not how a man gets around!
Duncan starts to walk away. Jeff panics.
Jeff heads across the library toward the study room, carrying
Britta opens the door and comes running to him. We can hear
chaos coming from the room behind her.
It’s really bad in there.
Yeah, sounds like a train wreck.
What do you say? Time to go?
Go? Jeff, I would rather flunk
Spanish and starve to death than
abandon a group of people in pain.
Jeff stares at her for a beat, then:
You thought I meant time to go to
dinner? I meant time to go give
these people the healing they need.
Time to spread the love, time to
set everything back to exactly the
way it was before they got here.
She gives his arm one of those platonic but lingering touches
that women have been using to secretly control civilization
for 50,000 years. As she heads back to the room, Jeff adds
Jeff walks in. Everyone is sitting with their arms folded,
staring at the table in front of them.
How’s it going in here?
Everyone explodes into furious name calling and arguing.
Alright, alright. Simmer down! I
want to tell you something!
They quiet down. He squares himself. Closing argument time.
You know what makes humans
different from other animals? We
are the only species on Earth that
observes Shark Week. Sharks don’t
even have Shark Week, but we do.
For the same reason I can pick up
this pencil, tell you its name is
Steve, then go like this
And part of you dies just a little
inside. Because humans can connect
to anything. We can sympathize
with a pencil, we can forgive a
shark, we can give Ben Affleck an
Academy Award for screenwriting.
Everyone nods knowingly, touched. Britta, however, remains
People can find the good in just
about anything but themselves.
Look at me. It’s obvious to all of
you that I’m awesome, and yet, if I
agreed with you, I would be an ass.
But I can think Annie’s awesome in
ways that I’m not. She’s driven.
Some people have to be driven or
the power goes off and the ice
cream melts. And look at Pierce.
Other guys his age are locked up in
their houses yelling at the people
on TV for farting, this guy is out
here, with us, even though he’s
earned the right to dismiss us.
Just like Shirley’s earned a little
elbow room, and a lot of respect,
not as a wife, not as a mother,
it’s time for her to be a woman,
and don’t test her on that, because
that thing about the jukebox was
way too specific to be improvised,
we want her on our side when we
rumble with the other study groups.
The group murmurs in enthusiastic agreement. Troy nods at
Shirley. Shirley smiles.
You want Troy, too. That’s why
we’re tempted to dis the jacket,
because it’s a symbol that
intimidates us, you think
astronauts go to the moon because
they hate oxygen, come on, they’re
trying to impress their high
school’s prom king, and well they
should, because I saw our track
team tonight and I’m pretty sure
Troy’s gonna be a big dog on
campus. And Abed. You know, God
made people with minds that wander
because the answers we need are
barely ever the ones we’re asking.
Abed’s a shaman, ask him to pass
the salt, you get a bowl of soup,
and guess what, soup is better.
Abed is better.
You’re all better than you think
you are. You’re just not designed
to believe it when you hear it from
yourself. So everybody, do me a
favor, look to the person on the
Everybody does it.
I want you to extend to that person
the same compassion you extend to
sharks, pencils and Ben Affleck. I
want you to say to that person, “I
forgive you.” Go ahead.
Everyone says “I forgive you.”
Now look at me.
Everyone looks at Jeff.
You just stopped being a study
group. You have now become
something unstoppable. I hereby
pronounce you a community.
Abed wipes at some tears.
It’s not like Breakfast Club
anymore. Now it’s like Stripes, or
Meatballs. Anything with Bill
I agree with Abed that tonight has
been very special. Too special for
Spanish, really, and I think that,
like the Breakfast Club, we ought
to disband and reflect.
Jeff looks at Britta and nods his head slightly toward the
door, like, “let’s go.”
Britta looks at Jeff. She looks around the room at all the
mesmerized faces. Finally, she announces her decision while
watching Jeff carefully.
Actually, now that we’re
unstoppable, it’ll probably take no
time at all to prepare for this
Everyone agrees with that. They’re very excited about
studying, now. Jeff goes to plan C.
I have a surprise for you guys. We
don’t need to study. I have all
the tests and answers for the
Jeff shows the packet he got from Duncan.
So. All done.
Everyone at the table is a bit taken aback. Britta narrows
her eyes on him. Pierce puzzles through this.
Well, Jeff, now, why in Hell’s
Bells would you want to enroll in a
community college to cheat?
I didn’t want to enroll here,
Pierce, I have to be here. I’m a
lawyer. I mean, I was a lawyer,
and I’d like to get back to being
one as soon as possible.
Then why have a study group?
I DON’T HAVE A STUDY GROUP! YOU
PEOPLE JUST SHOWED UP!
Britta explains something to everyone she’d been putting
together for a while.
It was all to get in my pants.
Why can’t you see that for the
compliment that it is?
What about the look left speech?
Was that real?
I learned it at tennis camp when I
Everyone is dismayed and disappointed.
I added the Ben Affleck references!
Jeff, you had me at “I’m a lawyer,”
and by had me, I mean had me ready
to puke. Now please leave and let
us study before my gag reflex hits
a tipping point.
But you’re not listening, I have
Britta physically gags.
Abed shakes his head.
I thought you were like Bill Murray
in any of his films. But you’re
really like Michael Douglas in any
Yeah, well, you have Asperger’s.
As Jeff exits, everyone recoils in shock and comforts a
He is not qualified to make that
Jeff exits the front doors, miffed, sour grapey, opening
He gets the envelope open and pulls out a stack of papers
from inside. He looks at them, stunned.
We watch as Jeff flips through a stack of pages from old
Psychology Today magazines.
INT. DUNCAN’S OFFICE
Professor Duncan is enjoying a pipe in his office and seems
to have been expecting Jeff to burst through the door, which
Jeff now does.
Before you react, you’ll want to
think about the gift you’ve been
An excuse to punch a hippy?
A second chance at an honest life.
A life that starts here at
Greendale. All these tricks you
acquired to survive out there, they
have no use in this place that
you’re wiping your feet on. People
here are excited and proud to be
here, students and faculty alike.
And frankly, we’re a little
offended by the implication that
there’s anywhere else we’d like to
be. This is a lesson you need to
Well, I’m...I’m sorry, but I’m not
Maybe you’re incapable of learning.
Is it possible you’re incapable of
teaching? It is community college.
Now give me my keys or it’s going
to get sloppy.
Jeff stomps across the empty night time campus of Greendale
community college. So fucked.
He sees the Old Black Woman sitting on one of the benches
that is just outside the library entrance. He starts walking
to her. She’s clearly bummed out about this. He stands by
her for a moment, mustering the confession:
JEFF OLD BLACK WOMAN
I don’t know how to do it. I don’t care.
She gets up.
Where are you going?
OLD BLACK WOMAN
Don’t you know, honey child?
OLD BLACK WOMAN (CONT'D)
I gots to go polish that moon and
hang them clouds out to dry. But
don’t you worry. Outer space Jesus
negro lady is watching over you.
Jeff slumps down on the bench as she walks away.
Great. Even God thinks I’m a dick.
He sits there for a moment. Puts his head back.
Pierce emerges from the library’s front doors, sees Jeff, and
pauses to take in the night air.
Boy. There is Autumn, and then
there is just Fall.
You may have purchased a knockoff
You said some nice things about me
up there, Jeffrey.
Pierce sits on another bench across from him.
And I do admit, I’ve got things to
learn about the ladies. You know
I’ve been married seven times? I’m
starting to think I’m doing
Do I look like I’m in a position to
give romantic advice right now?
Troy comes out of the library, sees them both and nods.
I thought you guys were studying.
Oh. That was fast.
Troy sits next to him, curious.
Let me ask you something. People
have been clowning me about this
jacket since I got here. But if I
take it off to make them happy, I’m
Troy, what’s it matter. You lose
the jacket to please them, you keep
it to piss them off...either way,
it’s for them, that’s what’s weak.
Wait, but -
He’s good, isn’t he?
My brain’s all wrinkly.
Jeff doesn’t necessarily mind the praise, but he’s still got
wallowing to do.
Shirley and Annie come through the doors together. Annie
stops when she sees the boys sitting together.
Is this another “we hate Annie”
Oh, sweetie. Nobody hates you.
Sorry I called you sweetie, it’s a
mother’s habit -
- It’s not that bad, really.
My parents, um -
This is interesting architecture.
Abed and Britta come through the library doors.
Oh, hey, everybody.
Britta is not excited to see Jeff.
Shouldn’t you be at home rolling
around on a bed covered with quiz
Jeff tosses the envelope to her. She looks at the contents.
Ha! Live by the sword, huh Amigo?
Amigo means “friend.” You might
need to know that for tomorrow.
Jeff nods, resigned to his fate.
I want to say something.
Jeff starts to say something. Then stops. He gets a weird
look on his face.
But nothing I say is true, so...I
He struggles. Then, finally:
Sorry. I need help.
He buries his face in his hands.
I’m gonna flunk. I need help.
The group looks around at each other. Mostly, they’re all
looking at Britta.
Shirley looks at Britta with a face that says “do something.”
Britta looks at Shirley with a “What? Me?” face. She
indicates Jeff and makes a gagging gesture.
Shirley makes a gesture that means “give me a break and maybe
also get over yourself because there are worse things in the
world than men making asses of themselves over you.”
Troy gestures insistently. So does Pierce. Abed is
What’s going on? Can you guys hear
me? Am I deaf?
Jeff looks up, curious to see what Abed is talking about.
Britta makes a decision. She addresses the group.
Hey, um. We should, um.
We should get back upstairs, and
Jeff is confused.
I thought you were done.
Who said that? Are we done?
I’m not done.
Everyone agrees they’re not done. Abed is more confused.
Well, let’s go. Jeff, you coming?
Jeff is taken aback by the offer.
Are you serious? I can study with
Eh. You know. If you want. I
Jeff stands up, recovering from his depression.
That’s the nicest thing anyone’s
ever said to me.
The group heads back for the library entrance as we pull back
in a crane shot that, like this campus, packs a lot of
emotional punch for a reasonable price.
|annie||Annie's character arc begins with her tightly wound and driven personality, causing her to strive for perfection and seek validation. Throughout the course of the film, she learns to embrace her own insecurities and value her own worth beyond external validation. Through personal growth and self-discovery, Annie becomes more confident and assertive, while still maintaining her intelligent and organized nature.||The character arc is solid and reflects the theme of personal growth and self-discovery. However, more attention could be given to Annie's motivations and backstory to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.||Consider adding more scenes that delve into Annie's personal life and experiences, which can help flesh out her character and create a stronger emotional connection with the audience. Additionally, focus on creating more nuanced interactions with other characters to showcase her growth and development.|
|troy||Troy starts his journey as a naive and easily influenced jock with a strong focus on athletics. As he goes through his freshman year in college, he discovers his own identity and learns to assert himself more. He faces challenges and setbacks, particularly with his relationships with others, but ultimately comes out stronger and more self-assured. By the end of the film, Troy has realized that there is more to college and life than just being a jock, and he is ready to embrace all the opportunities that await him.||The character arc for Troy is well-crafted and allows for significant growth and development throughout the story. However, it may be helpful to flesh out some specific obstacles or challenges that Troy faces on his journey of self-discovery. Additionally, while the description of Troy's speaking style is helpful, it would be beneficial to see more concrete examples of his dialogue throughout the screenplay.||To improve the character arc for Troy, consider introducing more concrete challenges or obstacles that he must overcome in order to fully realize his potential. This could be in the form of difficult relationships with peers, setbacks in his academic or personal life, or obstacles related to his athletic abilities. Additionally, as Troy's character grows and changes throughout the story, it would be helpful to show this evolution more explicitly in his dialogue and actions.|
|britta||Britta's arc in the screenplay follows her transformation from a rebellious and skeptical student to a passionate activist who is willing to fight for social justice. At first, she is resistant to Jeff's attempts to form the study group, but eventually grows to embrace their community and support their causes. Through her experiences with the group, Britta learns to let go of her sarcasm and confrontational attitude and embrace vulnerability and sincerity in her activism. She becomes a moral center for the group and is willing to make personal sacrifices for the greater good.||While Britta's character is well-developed throughout the screenplay, her arc could benefit from greater specificity in terms of her personal motivations and growth. It would also be helpful to see more of her backstory and personal life outside of the study group to add depth and texture to her character.||One way to improve Britta's arc would be to give her more scenes where she interacts with characters outside of the study group and explores her personal motivations for her activism and values. Additionally, it could be helpful to provide more specific moments of growth and transformation for Britta, such as a particular action or decision that leads her to embrace vulnerability and sincerity in her activism.|
|shirley||Shirley's character arc begins as a closed-up ex-housewife who is wary of opening up to others. However, as she becomes more involved in her community college, she starts to come out of her shell, becoming a maternal figure who helps the students and staff on a daily basis. In the end, Shirley overcomes her shyness and learns to embrace her assertiveness and protectiveness, no longer letting others get in her way.||While Shirley's character arc is well-developed, it lacks any real complexity. The audience is left wanting to learn more about her past and how it has informed her present. Additionally, the arc is somewhat predictable, with Shirley's character development following a standard trajectory. Finally, her speaking style could be more carefully fleshed out, showing her growth and complexity.||To improve Shirley's character arc, the screenwriter should consider incorporating more backstory and nuance into her character. Additionally, the arc could be made more unpredictable and complex, giving the audience an unexpected twist. Finally, by focusing more closely on Shirley's speaking style and how it changes throughout the feature, the character could be fleshed out more and become even more compelling.|
|pierce||Throughout the film, Pierce grapples with his past and tries to redeem himself. He undergoes significant growth as he overcomes his prejudices and ultimately apologizes for his offensive behavior. After being rejected by a group of young people, he realizes the harm his words cause and actively works to change. Although he experiences setbacks, Pierce remains determined to make amends and become a better person.||The character arc for Pierce is well-thought-out and provides a satisfying conclusion. However, to make the arc feel more organic and earned, Pierce could benefit from more nuanced and complex character development earlier in the story. While his moments of vulnerability are impactful, they could be more frequent to provide a more realistic depiction of a person with his flawed personality.||To improve the character arc, consider adding scenes with Pierce that show him struggling with his internal biases, which would lend more weight to his eventual redemption. Additionally, add more moments where Pierce displays genuine care for others to humanize his character further. Finally, consider making Pierce's moments of vulnerability more frequent and prominent to better round out his character.|
|jeff||Jeff's character arc in the screenplay involves his journey from a self-centered and morally conflicted student to a more empathetic and compassionate friend and leader. Through his experiences and interactions with the group, Jeff learns to let go of his ego and embrace vulnerability, empathy, and trust. He also learns the importance of community and the satisfaction of being part of a team. Jeff's arc also involves his struggle with his past mistakes and desire for redemption, which ultimately leads to his growth and a greater sense of purpose in his life.||While Jeff's character arc is well-crafted and engaging, it could benefit from more nuanced and subtle character development. Some of Jeff's growth moments feel contrived or forced, and his transformation could be more gradual and organic. Additionally, more attention could be given to his relationships with other characters, particularly Britta, to give more depth and emotional resonance to his arc.||To improve Jeff's character arc, the screenplay could explore more of Jeff's internal conflicts and insecurities, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his journey. More attention could be given to the interactions between Jeff and other characters to showcase his growth and development. Additionally, his character arc could benefit from more subtle and nuanced moments of choice and decision-making, highlighting his growth and transformation in a more organic way. Overall, Jeff's arc could be improved by focusing more on his emotional journey and less on external plot points.|
|abed||At the beginning of the feature, Abed is a socially awkward yet observant character who sees the world through the lens of pop culture. Throughout the film, he goes through a transformation as he struggles to connect with others and form meaningful relationships. He begins to realize that there is more to life than just pop culture and starts to embrace his emotions and vulnerability. By the end of the film, Abed has grown as a character and has formed meaningful relationships with the other characters.||While Abed's character arc is well-done, it can be seen as somewhat predictable. The transformation from socially awkward to emotionally open is a common trope in coming-of-age stories. Additionally, while his character is interesting, it may be difficult for some audiences to relate to him. Furthermore, the use of meta-comments and pop culture references may become tiresome for some viewers.||To improve Abed's character arc, it may be beneficial to add a twist or unexpected conflict that forces him to confront his beliefs and values. Additionally, while pop culture references are a key aspect of Abed's character, they should be used sparingly to prevent them from becoming repetitive. Finally, to make Abed more relatable, it may be helpful to give him more relatable struggles and motivations.|
|duncan||Throughout the feature, Duncan's character arc involves him using his manipulative tactics to get what he wants, but ultimately realizing the importance of merit and hard work. He initially tries to benefit from Jeff's desperation and lack of ethics, but as Jeff learns and grows throughout the film, Duncan also begins to realize the importance of honesty and integrity. By the end of the feature, Duncan has learned to value the students at Greendale for who they are and not just for what they can do for him.||The character arc is well-conceived and fits with the overall theme of the feature. However, Duncan's transformation may feel a bit rushed or unconvincing to some viewers. Additionally, it may be helpful to have more scenes that focus on Duncan's internal struggles and thoughts to help the audience understand his motivations and reasoning.||To improve the character arc, consider adding more scenes that show Duncan's internal struggles and thought processes. This can help the audience better understand his motivations and why he makes certain decisions. Additionally, consider making his transformation more gradual and nuanced, rather than sudden and unrealistic. Finally, ensure that his actions throughout the feature are consistent with his character and motivations, so that the transformation feels natural and believable.|
Story Structure Framework 1: Save the Cat
1. Opening Image: Dean Pelton attempts to give an inspirational speech to the students at Greendale Community College, but struggles with technical difficulties and a lack of preparedness. Various characters react to his words. Jeff and Abed have a brief conversation about a girl from their Spanish class.
2. Set-Up: The scene takes place in the courtyard of Greendale Community College during the day. There are no significant conflicts in this scene. The tone is comedic and lighthearted. Dean Pelton attempts to give an inspirational speech, but struggles with technical difficulties and a lack of preparedness. Jeff and Abed have a brief conversation about a girl from their Spanish class.
3. Catalyst: The scene ends with Jeff and Abed's conversation about the girl from their Spanish class.
Analysis/Critique: The scene follows the Save the Cat structure by establishing the characters and their dynamics, as well as introducing the catalyst for the story (Jeff and Abed's conversation about the girl from their Spanish class). However, the scene lacks a clear goal or conflict for the protagonist (Dean Pelton). To improve the structure, the scene could introduce a conflict or goal for Dean Pelton, such as him needing to give a successful speech to secure funding for the college or win the support of the students. This would create a stronger narrative arc and provide a clear objective for the protagonist to pursue.
Reference: "Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need" by Blake Snyder
Story Structure Framework 2: Hero's Journey
1. Ordinary World: Britta and Jeff meet in the cafeteria and have a playful conversation about Jeff hitting on her. They later meet with Duncan, Jeff's former client and current psychology professor, and Jeff asks for his help in obtaining his college degree. Duncan agrees to help him cheat in exchange for Jeff's past legal assistance.
2. Call to Adventure: The scene takes place in two locations: the cafeteria and Duncan's office in the sciences building. There are no major conflicts in this scene. The tone is light and humorous. The key pieces of dialogue include Jeff inviting Britta to his Spanish study group, Jeff asking Duncan for help cheating, and their playful banter throughout the scene.
3. Refusal of the Call: The scene ends with Jeff leaving Duncan's office and telling him he will be in the library at six for his fake study group.
Reference: "The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers" by Christopher Vogler
Story Structure Framework 3: Three-Act Structure
1. Exposition: Jeff and Britta meet in the library study room to form a Spanish study group. Britta shares her past as an anarchist and values honesty. Abed joins the group and receives a mysterious text message. Professor Duncan interrupts Jeff to discuss psychology.
2. Inciting Incident: The scene takes place in a library study room. No major conflicts arise in this scene. The tone is light and humorous. Jeff and Britta discuss their values and past experiences, while Abed makes a Breakfast Club reference and receives a strange text message. Professor Duncan briefly interrupts Jeff.
1. Rising Action: Jeff and Duncan have a conversation about moral relativism while watching a track tryout. Coach Bartel interrupts them and asks if they play football. Jeff then joins the study group in the library, where Britta and four new students are waiting. Jeff and Britta make plans to have dinner together. Jeff encounters the old black woman from the cafeteria and apologizes for his previous behavior.
2. Climax: The scene takes place at an athletic field during dusk and then shifts to a library study room and lobby. There is a conflict between Jeff and Duncan's differing views on morality, but it is not resolved. There is also a conflict between Jeff and the old black woman from the cafeteria, but Jeff apologizes for his behavior. The tone is humorous and sarcastic. Jeff and Duncan discuss morality and use witty banter. Coach Bartel interrupts them with a comment about football. Jeff and Britta make plans for dinner. Jeff encounters the old black woman from the cafeteria and apologizes for his behavior.
1. Falling Action: Jeff settles into his chair at the head of the table and looks around the room, introducing himself and the other members of the study group. Annie expresses her frustration about not being invited to the group, leading to tension between her and Shirley. Jeff tries to address the tension and also brings up Pierce's inappropriate advances towards Shirley. The conflict escalates when Troy and Annie exchange insults about their pasts. Abed interrupts with a random confession about ruining his DVDs. Jeff receives a phone call from Professor Duncan and leaves the room.
2. Resolution: The scene takes place in a study room, specifically the group's meeting place, with a table and chairs. There are conflicts between Annie feeling excluded from the group and confronting Shirley, as well as tension between Shirley and Pierce due to his inappropriate advances. The conflicts are not fully resolved in this scene. The emotional tone is tense and confrontational, with moments of humor and vulnerability. Key dialogue includes Jeff introducing himself and the other members of the group, Annie expressing her frustration about not being invited, Shirley and Annie exchanging heated remarks, and Abed interrupting with a random confession about ruining his DVDs. The scene ends with Jeff receiving a phone call from Professor Duncan and leaving the room, leaving the conflicts unresolved.
Reference: "Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting" by Robert McKee
|Humor and Conflict||There is a strong correlation between scenes with humorous and sarcastic dialogue and high levels of conflict. This suggests that the characters use humor as a defense mechanism to deal with tense situations.|
|Character Changes and Emotional Impact||Scenes with high levels of character changes also tend to have high emotional impact. This suggests that the characters' personal growth and development is closely tied to the emotional resonance of the scene.|
|Tone and Overall Grade||There is a strong correlation between the tone of a scene and its overall grade. Scenes with a humorous or light-hearted tone tend to have higher grades, while scenes with a more serious or confrontational tone tend to have lower grades.|
|Dialogue and Concept||Scenes with high levels of dialogue tend to have a stronger concept. This suggests that dialogue is an important tool for conveying the central idea or theme of the screenplay.|
|High Stakes and Emotional Impact||Scenes with high stakes tend to have high emotional impact. This suggests that the audience is more invested in the outcome of a scene when the stakes are high.|
|Conflict and Plot||Scenes with high levels of conflict tend to have a stronger plot. This suggests that conflict is an important driver of the narrative and helps to move the story forward.|
|Character Changes and Dialogue||Scenes with high levels of character changes tend to have more dialogue. This suggests that dialogue is an important tool for conveying the internal struggles and growth of the characters.|
|Emotional Impact and Move Story Forward||Scenes with high emotional impact tend to move the story forward more effectively. This suggests that emotional resonance is an important factor in keeping the audience engaged and invested in the narrative.|
|Tone and Character Changes||Scenes with a more serious or reflective tone tend to have higher levels of character changes. This suggests that introspection and self-reflection are important catalysts for personal growth and development.|
The writing style of the screenplay is characterized by witty and sarcastic dialogue, humor, and a focus on character dynamics and relationships. There is also a tendency to blend humor with emotional depth in character interactions.
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The writer demonstrates a strong ability to create engaging and humorous scenes with well-crafted dialogue and character interactions. The scenes effectively introduce the characters, establish their dynamics, and set up potential conflicts and challenges for the protagonist. The writing style balances humor and emotion, creating relatable and engaging characters. The writer's unique voice and style contribute to the effectiveness and engagement of the scenes.
Key Improvement Areas
|Book||Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need by Blake Snyder||This book provides valuable insights and techniques for developing compelling characters, structuring a screenplay, and enhancing the overall craft of screenwriting.|
|Video||Screenwriting Masterclass with Aaron Sorkin||This video provides valuable lessons and insights from a renowned screenwriter, which can help the writer improve their craft, particularly in creating engaging dialogue and structuring scenes.|
|Exercise||Write a scene with conflicting internal and external goals for the protagonist.Practice In SceneProv||This exercise will help the writer further develop their skills in creating complex and engaging scenes by exploring the protagonist's internal struggles and external conflicts.|
|Exercise||Write a scene with a different genre.Practice In SceneProv||Exploring different genres can help expand the writer's skills and creativity, allowing them to experiment with different storytelling techniques and conventions.|
|Exercise||Write a scene with conflicting philosophical beliefs between characters.Practice In SceneProv||This exercise can help the writer explore and develop philosophical conflicts in their writing, adding depth and complexity to their scenes.|
|Community (TV Show)||The summary of the screenplay shares similarities with the TV show Community, which is set at Greendale Community College and follows a group of students as they navigate various comedic and lighthearted situations. The characters, setting, tone, and dialogue in the summary align with the themes and elements present in Community.|
|The Breakfast Club (Movie)||The scene in which Abed makes a Breakfast Club reference and receives a strange text message shares similarities with the movie The Breakfast Club. Both involve a group of diverse characters coming together in a specific setting (in this case, a library study room) and experiencing unexpected events that challenge their perceptions and lead to personal growth.|
|The Office (TV Show)||The comedic and lighthearted tone of the summary, as well as the focus on workplace dynamics and interactions between characters, align with the TV show The Office. Both involve humorous situations, dialogue-driven storytelling, and a diverse ensemble cast.|
|Parks and Recreation (TV Show)||The summary shares similarities with the TV show Parks and Recreation, which also features a comedic and lighthearted tone, a diverse ensemble cast, and a focus on the interactions and dynamics between characters in a specific setting (in this case, a community college). Both involve humorous situations and dialogue-driven storytelling.|
|The Big Bang Theory (TV Show)||The summary shares similarities with the TV show The Big Bang Theory, which features a group of characters navigating comedic and lighthearted situations in a specific setting (in this case, a community college). Both involve humorous dialogue, interactions between characters, and a focus on the dynamics of a close-knit group.|
|Trope||Trope Details||Trope Explanation|
|Inspirational Speech Gone Wrong||Dean Pelton attempts to give an inspirational speech to the students at Greendale Community College, but struggles with technical difficulties and a lack of preparedness.||This trope involves a character attempting to deliver an inspiring speech or message, but it goes awry due to various obstacles or their own incompetence. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy' when Ron Burgundy tries to give an impromptu speech but ends up saying nonsensical and offensive things.|
|Cheating in Exchange for Favors||Jeff asks Duncan for help in obtaining his college degree, and Duncan agrees to help him cheat in exchange for Jeff's past legal assistance.||This trope involves a character making a deal with someone to cheat or gain an unfair advantage in exchange for a favor or service. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Breaking Bad' when Walter White agrees to cook meth for Jesse Pinkman in exchange for his knowledge of the drug trade.|
|Forming a Study Group||Jeff and Britta meet in the library study room to form a Spanish study group.||This trope involves characters coming together to form a study group for a specific subject or purpose. It is often used as a way to bring characters together and create opportunities for conflict and camaraderie. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Community' itself, where the main characters form a study group at Greendale Community College.|
|Tension and Conflict within a Study Group||Annie expresses her frustration about not being invited to the study group, leading to tension between her and Shirley. Jeff tries to address the tension and also brings up Pierce's inappropriate advances towards Shirley. The conflict escalates when Troy and Annie exchange insults about their pasts. Abed interrupts with a random confession about ruining his DVDs.||This trope involves tension and conflict arising within a study group, often due to personal differences, misunderstandings, or past grievances. It is a common trope in ensemble casts and can lead to character development and resolution. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'The Big Bang Theory' when the main characters' study group faces conflicts and disagreements.|
|Motivational Speech with Hidden Agenda||Jeff gives a motivational speech to the study group, telling them they are all better than they think they are. He reveals he has the answers to the upcoming test, but the group decides to study instead. Jeff admits he only formed the study group to get close to Britta.|
|Character Redemption through Apology||Jeff encounters the old black woman from the cafeteria and apologizes for his previous behavior.||This trope involves a character seeking redemption or forgiveness by apologizing for their past actions or behavior. It is often used as a way to show character growth and development. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'A Christmas Carol' when Ebenezer Scrooge apologizes to those he has wronged and changes his ways.|
|Unexpected Confession||Abed interrupts the tension within the study group with a random confession about ruining his DVDs.||This trope involves a character unexpectedly revealing a personal secret or confession, often breaking the tension or changing the dynamic of a scene. It can be used for comedic effect or to deepen a character's backstory. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Friends' when Chandler unexpectedly confesses his fear of commitment to his friends.|
|Deal with a Shady Character||Jeff meets Duncan in a parking lot to receive answers to his tests. Duncan withholds the answers until Jeff agrees to give him his Lexus. Jeff eventually agrees and takes Duncan's Prius instead.||This trope involves a character making a deal or negotiation with a shady or morally ambiguous character. It often leads to a compromising situation or conflict. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'Ocean's Eleven' when Danny Ocean makes deals with various criminals to pull off a heist.|
|Character Growth through Self-Reflection||Jeff confesses to the Old Black Woman that he doesn't know how to do it, and she sarcastically tells him that she has to go polish the moon and hang the clouds out to dry. Jeff apologizes and admits that he needs help.||This trope involves a character experiencing personal growth and self-reflection, often through a conversation or interaction with a wise or insightful character. It can lead to a change in behavior or perspective. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'The Karate Kid' when Mr. Miyagi helps Daniel realize the importance of discipline and inner strength.|
|Reconciliation and Unity||Jeff apologizes and admits that he needs help. Britta offers to study with the group, and they all head back into the library together.||This trope involves characters reconciling their differences and coming together as a unified group. It often signifies the resolution of conflicts and the strengthening of relationships. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Friends' when the main characters reconcile after a falling out and continue to support each other.|
|Theme||Theme Details||Themee Explanation|
|Identity and Self-Discovery||Throughout the screenplay, the characters, particularly Jeff, go through a process of self-discovery and exploration of their identities. Jeff initially forms the study group for selfish reasons but eventually realizes the value of genuine connections and personal growth.||The theme of identity and self-discovery is important in this screenplay as it drives the character development and arcs of the main characters. It explores the idea of finding oneself and embracing personal growth.|
|Friendship and Community||The study group serves as a central element in the screenplay, highlighting the importance of friendship and community. The characters come together, support each other, and form a bond that helps them navigate their personal challenges.||Friendship and community play a significant role in this screenplay as the characters rely on each other for support, guidance, and companionship. It explores the idea of finding a sense of belonging and the power of human connection.|
|Honesty and Integrity||The theme of honesty and integrity is explored through various conflicts and character interactions. Jeff's journey involves confronting his own dishonesty and learning the value of honesty, while other characters also grapple with their own moral choices.||Honesty and integrity are important themes in this screenplay as they highlight the moral dilemmas faced by the characters and the importance of being true to oneself and others. It explores the idea of personal ethics and the consequences of dishonesty.|
Strengthening Honesty and Integrity:
|Acceptance and Forgiveness||The characters in the screenplay experience conflicts and tensions, but ultimately learn the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. Jeff apologizes for his behavior, the group accepts Annie into the study group, and they all come together despite their differences.||Acceptance and forgiveness are recurring themes in this screenplay as the characters learn to let go of grudges, accept each other's flaws, and move forward together. It explores the idea of embracing forgiveness and finding common ground despite differences.|
Strengthening Acceptance and Forgiveness:
|Personal Growth and Transformation||The characters in the screenplay undergo personal growth and transformation as they navigate their challenges and learn from their experiences. Jeff, in particular, goes through a significant transformation from a selfish and dishonest person to someone who values genuine connections and personal growth.||Personal growth and transformation are central themes in this screenplay as the characters evolve and learn from their experiences. It explores the idea of self-improvement, learning from mistakes, and embracing change.|
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
|Studio Binder||Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters|
|Coverfly||Improving your Screenplay's theme|
|John August||Writing from Theme|
|Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics||Screenwriting basics - beginner video|
|What is theme||Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.|
|Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script||Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts|
|Summary:||The writer's voice is characterized by wit, humor, and sarcasm. They excel at crafting witty and sarcastic dialogue that reveals the personalities of the characters. The narrative description is concise and focuses on character actions and reactions. The writer's voice adds humor and creates a lighthearted atmosphere throughout the screenplay.|
|Voice Contribution||The writer's voice contributes to the overall mood of the screenplay by adding humor and creating a light-hearted tone. It also enhances the themes of personal growth, self-discovery, and the importance of community. The witty and sarcastic dialogue adds depth to the characters and their relationships, while the concise narrative description sets the tone for each scene.|
|Best Representation Scene||4 - Morality, Football, and Apologies|
|Best Scene Explanation||This scene could serve as the encapsulation of the writer's unique voice in the screenplay because it showcases the writer's ability to create humorous and absurd situations, as well as explore philosophical ideas through witty dialogue. The characters' actions and interactions reflect the writer's distinct style and voice.|
- Overall originality score: 6.5
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay has a moderate level of originality. While some scenes bring a fresh approach to familiar settings and conflicts, there are also familiar elements and themes present throughout.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the philosophical conflict between Jeff and Duncan during the track tryout scene and the character dynamics and witty dialogue in the study group formation scene.
- Overall unpredictability score: 7.2
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The full screenplay has a moderate level of unpredictability. While there are some unique and unexpected moments, there are also predictable elements and familiar tropes present.
|Goals and Philosophical Conflict|
|internal Goals||The protagonist's internal goals evolve throughout the script, reflecting their desire for validation, companionship, approval, intellectual validation, a harmonious study environment, taking the easy way out, acceptance from peers, asserting independence, seeking help and admitting need for assistance.|
|External Goals||The protagonist's external goals evolve throughout the script, reflecting their navigation of challenges and stereotypes of community college, helping Britta with her Spanish studies, starting a conversation with the study group, gathering answers from Duncan, attending to an emergency call, negotiating with Duncan, disbanding the study group, retrieving his keys, and studying with the group.|
|Philosophical Conflict||The overarching philosophical conflict in the screenplay revolves around the protagonist's beliefs about moral relativism, the value of community college, and the importance of higher education. This conflict intertwines with the protagonist's journey as they challenge and assert their own beliefs, confront their cynicism, and seek validation and support.|
Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's evolving internal and external goals contribute to their character development by challenging their beliefs, fears, and desires. Through their journey, they learn to overcome stereotypes, seek validation and support, confront their cynicism, and assert their own understanding of right and wrong.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The evolving internal and external goals provide a framework for the narrative structure of the screenplay, driving the protagonist's actions and interactions with other characters. The conflicts and challenges they face propel the story forward and create tension and resolution.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts in the screenplay contribute to the thematic depth by exploring themes of identity, validation, the value of education, the importance of community, and the power of personal growth and change. The protagonist's journey reflects the universal human desire for acceptance, growth, and finding one's place in the world.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
|Creative Screenwriting||How Important Is A Character’s Goal?|
|Studio Binder||What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict|
|How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict||How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.|
|Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great||By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes|
|Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals||By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?|
The central conflict in this story is Jeff's struggle to navigate his way through community college and find his purpose.
The primary motivations propelling the story include Jeff's desire to obtain his college degree, Britta's desire to make a positive impact on others, and the study group's desire to succeed academically.
Key catalysts pushing the narrative forward include Jeff's meeting with Duncan, who offers to help him cheat in exchange for past legal assistance, and Jeff's realization that he needs help and apologizes to the old black woman from the cafeteria.
Major barriers preventing character objectives include Jeff's lack of motivation and dishonesty, Britta's skepticism and past experiences, and the conflicts within the study group.
Central themes linked to the story's engine include personal growth, the importance of honesty and integrity, and the power of community and friendship.
The stakes in the narrative include Jeff's future and academic success, Britta's ability to make a positive impact, and the study group's ability to overcome their personal conflicts and succeed academically.
The uniqueness factor in this story is the comedic and lighthearted tone combined with the exploration of personal growth and the power of community within the setting of a community college.
The main audience hook that will keep viewers engaged is the journey of the characters as they navigate the challenges of community college and discover their true potential.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The paradoxical story engine in this narrative is the combination of comedic and lighthearted moments with deeper themes of personal growth and the power of community. This creates a bisociation that engages the audience on multiple levels.
The reasons might be more valuable than the rating.
The screenplay is highly recommended for its witty dialogue, engaging character dynamics, and effective introduction of the main characters. The scenes successfully establish conflicts and tensions, creating intrigue and interest. However, the screenplay would benefit from more visual elements and smoother transitions between scenes. Some characters and their motivations could be better integrated, and certain conflicts and resolutions need clearer development. Overall, the screenplay showcases strong character arcs and explores themes of personal growth and self-discovery, making it a compelling and engaging narrative.
- The scenes effectively introduce the main characters and their reactions to Dean Pelton's speech (Scene 1)
- The dialogue throughout the screenplay is witty and humorous, capturing the comedic tone of the show (Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 9)
- The scene effectively establishes the characters' dynamics within the study group (Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 5, Scene 7, Scene 9)
- The introduction of the Old Black Woman character adds intrigue and mystery to the story (Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 5, Scene 7, Scene 9)
- The scene sets up potential conflicts and tensions between the characters, creating intrigue and interest (Scene 1, Scene 5)
- The scenes could benefit from more visual elements or actions to enhance the storytelling (Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 3, Scene 5, Scene 6, Scene 7, Scene 9)
- The transitions between character reactions could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene (Scene 1)
- The introduction of certain characters feels abrupt and could be better integrated into the scenes (Scene 1, Scene 2, Scene 3)
- A clearer resolution or conclusion to certain conflicts and tensions is needed (Scene 1, Scene 5)
- More development of the conflict between Annie and Shirley, as well as Pierce's inappropriate advances towards Shirley (Scene 1, Scene 5)
- A clearer objective or goal for the study group is not established in certain scenes (Scene 3)
- The stakes or consequences of the conflicts and tensions are not clearly defined in certain scenes (Scene 5)
- A clearer establishment of the impact of Dean Pelton's speech on the characters is needed (Scene 1)
- A clearer resolution or outcome for Jeff and Britta's conversation about the study group (Scene 2)
- A stronger connection between Jeff's desire to cheat and his overall character arc or growth (Scene 2)
- The scene effectively captures the attention of the audience with the explosive name-calling and arguing at the beginning (Scene 7)
- Troy's epiphany about doing things for himself is a notable character development moment (Scene 9)
- The dialogue between Jeff and Duncan explores the themes of ethics and the easy way out versus personal growth (Scene 6)
- The introduction of Jeff and Abed's conversation about a girl from their Spanish class adds depth to their characters and establishes their dynamic (Scene 1)
- The speech given by Jeff is powerful and thought-provoking, highlighting the theme of human connection and the potential for growth and self-discovery (Scene 7)
|7||Jeff: You just stopped being a study group. You have now become something unstoppable. I hereby pronounce you a community.|
|1||Abed: I'm only half Arabic, actually, my Dad is Palestinian, I mean, he's a U.S. Citizen and he's not a threat to national security or anything, a lot of people want to know that after they meet him, because he has an angry energy, but not like angry at America, just angry at my Mom for leaving him, although she did leave because he was angry, and he was angry because she was American. My name's Abed, by the way.|
|2||Britta: Yeah, just don't hit on me, okay?|
|6||DUNCAN: Come on, you're never going to stop taking the easy way out. I'll be helping you for four years. You want to get a degree while taking naps? I want leather seats with built-in ball warmers. Offer expires in ten seconds.|
|5||Annie: Being younger doesn't make me inferior, if anything, your age indicates you've made bad life decisions.|