legally blonde
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
| Percentile | Before | After | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dialogue | 8.0 | 72 | Silence of the lambs: 7.9 | Inception: 8.0 |
| Characters | 8.2 | 51 | Mr Robot: 8.1 | heathers : 8.2 |
| Emotional Impact | 6.7 | 20 | Back to the future: 6.6 | legally blonde: 6.7 |
| Overall | 8.0 | 19 | Requiem for a dream: 7.9 | legally blonde: 8.0 |
| Concept | 7.4 | 17 | Mind Hunter: 7.3 | legally blonde: 7.4 |
| Conflict Level | 6.3 | 10 | The good place draft: 6.2 | legally blonde: 6.3 |
| Plot | 7.4 | 9 | Community: 7.3 | heathers : 7.4 |
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Scene Number | Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Characters | Character Changes | Conflict | High stakes | Story forward | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | |
| 1 | Introducing Elle Woods | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 7 | ||
| 2 | Elle Prepares for Her Date | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 7 | ||
| 3 | The Breakup | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 9 | ||
| 4 | Elle's Heartbreak | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 7 | ||
| 5 | Elle's Plan to Win Warner Back | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 6 | Elle Prepares for the LSAT | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 8 | ||
| 7 | Elle Gets into Harvard | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 7 | ||
| 8 | Law School Orientation | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 9 | ||
| 9 | First day of law school and reuniting with old friends | 7 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 7 | ||
| 10 | First Day of Class | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 8 | ||
| 11 | First day of Law School | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 8 | ||
| 12 | The Beauty Oasis | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 13 | Law School Competition Begins | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 14 | Elle attends a Halloween party | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 8 | ||
| 15 | Elle Fights Back | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 8 | ||
| 16 | Elle's Argument Wins the Day | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 10 | ||
| 17 | Elle Wins Over Donovan and Dewey | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 8 | ||
| 18 | Elle Gets an Internship | 6 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 19 | The Brooke Windham Case | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 8 | ||
| 20 | Brooke's Alibi | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 21 | The Bend and Snap | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 9 | ||
| 22 | Interviews and Theories | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 9 | ||
| 23 | The Confession | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 7 | ||
| 24 | Sisterhood vs Professionalism | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 25 | Spa Day Investigation | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 8 | ||
| 26 | The Blonde Legal Defense Fund | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 9 | ||
| 27 | Elle defends Dorky David and attends court | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 7 | ||
| 28 | Surprise Visit | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 8 | ||
| 29 | Elle proves Enrique is gay | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 9 | ||
| 30 | Donovan's Betrayal | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 9 | ||
| 31 | Elle Quits Law School | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 8 | ||
| 32 | Elle Takes Control | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 9 | ||
| 33 | Chutney Takes the Stand | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 9 | ||
| 34 | The Aftermath | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 8 | ||
| 35 | Blondes Have More Fun | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | ||
Scene 1 - Introducing Elle Woods
LEGALLY BLONDE
Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith
Shooting Draft
July 31, 2000
9/1/00 (Blue)
9/18/00 (Pink)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 1.
INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - DAY 1
"HEAD OVER HEELS" by the Go-Go's plays as we wind through a
flock of abstract, silky, golden strands — PULLING BACK, to *
discover that the strands are hair on a BLONDE GIRL's head. *
But not just any blonde girl, a girl in Delta Gamma, the
blondest, most beautiful sorority at USC.
We PULL BACK further to see that she's signing a handmade
card. She holds it up ~ OVER HER SHOULDER, we see hearts *
and glitter surrounding and "Good Luck Tonight!" and "Elle *
and Warner forever!."
She carries the card out of her room and we FOLLOW HER across
the hall, into the room of —
THREE BLONDE CHEERLEADERS, who stop practicing their pom-pom
routine to sign the card. As they finish, we follow the Card
Girl out and into the room of —
A BLONDE GIRL IN A TANK TOP and shorts, working out on a
Stairmaster as "General Hospital" plays on a tiny TV. She
signs the card while continuing to exercise. We move on, to *
the room of—
A BLONDE GIRL MAKING OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND who stops long
enough to sign the card, as her boyfriend nibbles on her
neck. She hands the card back and we head into the room of —
A BLONDE PARTY GIRL who pours a pink frozen margarita into a
glass from the blender, then passes it down to ANOTHER BLONDE *
GIRL, assembly-line style. The card goes one way, being
signed, as the drinks go the other.
Once the card arrives back in the Card Girl's hands, we
follow her out of the room and down the hall until she
reaches the very last and biggest door —
She puts a kiss mark on the card, then kneels down and slides
the card under the door.
INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS 2
The CARD slides into the pink room, hitting the feet of
UNDERDOG, a tiny chihuahua ~ who picks it up in his mouth
and trots it over to a pair of perfectly pedicured feet in
strappy sandals.
An equally perfectly manicured hand with a "Sisters Forever"
charm bracelet dangling from the wrist, scoops up Underdog.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 2.
2 CONTINUED: 2
As he rises, we RISE WITH HIM, passing toned, waxed, tanned
legs in pink Prada pedal pushers and a pair of perky boobs
encased in a spaghetti-strap top — until we finally reveal a
magnificent head of long blonde hair and a sweet, beautiful
face. This is ELLE WOODS, 21, the Goddess Queen of Delta
Gamma. She talks on a pink, fuzzy phone.
ELLE
(into the phone)
I love you, too!
Behind her, a "Go USC" banner is pinned to the pink wall. A
stack of "Cosmopolitan"s and "Glamour"s teeters on the
dresser. The closet overflows with trendy, designer clothes
in a predominance of pink.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; into phone)
I'll see you tonight.
She hangs up and lets out a squeal of joy, kissing Underdog's
head and taking the card out of his mouth. She reads it,
touched.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
"Elle and Warner forever". Aww...
Underdog yips.
3 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY - SAME TIME 2
A Delta Gamma/Sigma Chi barbecue in full swing. Beautiful
college students drink beer and mingle, trying to figure out
who they're going to sleep with next.
The main wall of the living room has been designated as a
"Model Wall" of Delta Gamma girls — ELLE smiles at us from a
Hawaiian Tropic ad and a Miss June USC calendar photo. A
cover of an Italian Vogue shows a blonde sexpot MARGOT; a USC
cheerleader poster displays a hard-bodied non-blonde SERENA
in a pom-pom pose.
Serena walks up, fending off an admirer.
SERENA
Jeremy, enough! I am not going to formal
with you.
Jeremy slinks off as Margot arrives, agitated.
MARGOT
Can someone please tell Rick that he is
not the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 3.
CONTINUED: 3
ELLE (O.S.)
You guys are so sweet!
ELLE, a vision of fluffy blondeness, runs down the stairs
toward Serena and Margot, holding the card.
ELLE (CONT'D)
But I ' m not positive it's gonna happen
tonight —
. SERENA
Helloo...he just had lunch with his
grandmother. You know he got "The Rock".
MARGOT
Why else would she have flown in from
Newport? It's not like she'd Fed Ex a
six carat diamond.
ELLE
(excited)
You think?
SERENA
I can't believe you're getting engaged!
• . .
The three girls jump up and down, squealing and hugging.
ELLE
C'mon •— you have to help me pick out the
perfect outfit.
As they head toward the door, Elle spots AMY, a shy girl in a
Delta Gamma Pledge sweatshirt, standing alone.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Amy, what's wrong?
AMY
I don't really — know anyone.
ELLE
(teasing)
That's because you spend too much time in
the library. Come with me.
(to Serena and Margot)
I'll meet you outside.
As they go, Elle leads Amy over to a group of jovial Sigma
Chi brothers.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 4.
CONTINUED: ( 2 ) 3
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Brandon, Jason, Grant —this is Amy.
Why don't you tell her about the time you
guys went golfing naked?
Elle winks at Amy and.heads off as the guys launch into their
story.
BRANDON
It was classic. Jason hit with wood all
day.
GRANT
And we never ran out of balls —
Amy laughs.
Ratings
Scene 2 - Elle Prepares for Her Date
Serena and Margot watch as Elle stands in front of a mirror,
trying on a Herve Leger white mini-dress. Sexy and ultra-
tight. ;
ELLE
Too demure?
MARGOT
I think you should go with red. It's the
color of confidence.
ELLE
Well, I don't want to look like I know
what's coming. . .
SERENA
I don't understand why you're completely
disregarding your signature color.
She holds up a tiny pink slipdress.
ELLE
He's proposing! I can't look like I
would on any date. This is the date. The
night I'll always remember. I want to
look special. Bridal . . . but not like I
suspect anything.
ACROSS THE STORE
A SALESWOMAN looks at her cohort.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 5.
CONTINUED: 4
SALESWOMAN
(sot.to)
There ' s nothing I love more than a dumb
blonde with daddy's plastic.
She grabs a dress off the Clearance Sale rack, ripping off
the "HALF PRICE" TAG.
ON ELLE AND THE GIRLS
. SERENA
I can't wait to see you wearing The Rock!
Elle looks at them, suddenly concerned.
ELLE
What if — you know — it's not the
night?
MARGOT
Why else would he be taking you to The
Ivy? You've been dating for a year —
it's not like he's trying to impress you. *
SERENA *
Elle, you've heard the man pass gas in *
his sleep. That practically means you're *
pre-engaged. '"*
The Saleswoman approaches with the dress, kiss-assy smile on
her face.
SALESWOMAN
Did you see this one? We just got it in
yesterday.
Elle fingers the dress, then the new price tag, looking back
at the saleswoman, excited.
ELLE
Is this a low-viscosity rayon?
SALESWOMAN
Uh, yes — of course.
ELLE
With half-loop top-stitching on the hem?
SALESWOMAN
(smiling a lie)
Absolutely. It's one of a kind.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 6.
CONTINUED: ( 2 ) . • 4
^ Elle hands the dress back to her, no longer pretending to be
excited.
ELLE
It's impossible to use a half-loop
topstitch on low-viscosity rayon. It
would snag the fabric. And you didn't
just get this in, because I remember it
from the June Vogue a year ago, so if
you're trying to sell it to me at full
price, you picked the wrong girl.
The saleswoman slinks off, embarrassed.
MARGOT
(to the saleswoman)
Nice try...
Elle shakes her head and turns back to the girls as she slips
on her Manolo Blahnik sandals, doing one last mirror check,
smoothing down her golden mane.
ELLE
(dramatically)
Girls, this is it. In a few hours, I'll
be the future Mrs. Warner Huntington III.
5 EXT, DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - NIGHT
An attractive male finger presses the doorbell.
6 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT - SAME TIME
Amy peeks through the peephole and turns.
AMY
(whispering)
He's here!
Elle, standing nearby with Margot and Serena and several
other DG's, smooths down her dress and takes a deep breath,
opening the door to find —
WARNER HUNTINGTON, III, 21, tall, chiseled and outrageously
handsome. He takes her in, a smile spreading across his
face.
WARNER
You're beautiful.
ELLE
So are you!
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) .7.
CONTINUED: 6
She looks up at him, blushing and completely smitten. They
kiss. After a moment,-Warner extracts himself.
WARNER
(nervous)
You ready?
Her face is awash with devotion.
ELLE
I am so ready.
Ratings
Scene 3 - The Breakup
Warner and Elle are seated at a cozy table on the patio.
Elle takes a sip from her freshly poured champagne flute.
Nervous and excited.
ELLE
Here's to ~ us.
Warner is slower to sip his.
WARNER
The reason I wanted to come here tonight
was to discuss our future.
Elle is on the edge of her seat.
ELLE
I ' m fully amenable to that discussion.
WARNER
I mean, we're having a lot of fun now —
but things are gonna be different when
I ' m at Harvard Law school is a completely
different world. I need to be serious.
ELLE
Of course.
WARNER
My family expects a lot from me. And I
expect a lot from me. I .plan on running
for office some day.
ELLE
And I fully support that.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 8.
7 CONTINUED: 7
WARNER
But the thing is, if I ' m gonna be a
senator by the time I ' m thirty — I can't
keep dicking around.
ELLE
I completely agree.
WARNER
That's why I think it's time for us to—
Elle takes a deep breath, filled with anticipation.
WARNER (CONT'D)
(continuing) . . • > . ' .
I think we should break up.
Elle's champagne glass drops from her hand and CRASHES onto
the patio.
ELLE
What?
Elle starts to flush, completely caught off guard.
WARNER
I ' m sorry, Elle, I just —
ELLE
You're breaking up with me?!
(tearing up)
I thought you were proposing.
WARNER
Proposing?! Elle, If I ' m going to be a
politician, I need to marry a Jackie, not
a — Marilyn.
ELLE
(stunned)
You're breaking up with me because I ' m
too -- blonde?
WARNER
That's not entirely —
ELLE
Then what? My boobs are too big?
WARNER.
Elle — no --• your boobs are fine —
Her tears start.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) .9.
CONTINUED: (2) i
ELLE
So when you said you'd always love me,
you were just "dicking around"?
Warner looks around the restaurant nervously.
WARNER
I do love you, Elle. I just can't marry you.
You have no idea the pressure I ' m under. My
family has five generations of senators. My
brother is in the top three at Yale Law. He • *
just got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for crissakes. *
Elle stares at him aghast, tears streaming down her face,
then pushes her chair away from the table and walks out.
WARNER (CONT'D)
(continuing)
It's not like I have a choice, sweetheart *
He follows her out.
8 EXT.' STREET - NIGHT 8
Elle teeters down the sidewalk as best she can in her three *
inch heels, sobbing. Warner pulls up alongside her in his
convertible Saab.
WARNER
C'mon. Let me take you home.
ELLE
No.
WARNER
Elle — it's twenty miles back to campus.
Elle stops, thinks a minute, then gets in, still crying.
Catching her poofy little purse in the door. She re-opens
it, yanking the purse back in. Warner pulls out.
9 EXT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT 9
Warner pulls up in front. It's a starry, romantic night.
Everything should be perfect. It's not.
Elle sits, still in shock, as tears continue to eke out.
WARNER
Elle, believe me, I never expected to be
doing this, but I think it's the right
thing to do.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 10.
CONTINUED: 9
ELLE
How can it be the right thing if we're
not together?
WARNER .
I have to think about my future. And what
people expect from me.
ELLE
So you're breaking up with me because
you're afraid your family won't like me?
(through her tears)
Everybody likes me!
WARNER
East coast people are different.
ELLE
Just because I ' m not a Vanderbilt, all of
a sudden I ' m white trash? I grew up in
Bel Air, Warner! Across the street from
Aaron Spelling! I think most people
would agree that's way better than a
Vanderbilt —
WARNER
I told you, Elle. I need someone —
serious.
ELLE
I ' m seriously in love with you — Isn't
that enough? He looks away.
WARNER
I'm sorry.
She gets out of the car and drags herself up the stairs to
her sorority house. When she's at the top, she turns back to
look at him. His perfect cheekbones highlighted by the
streetlamp.
He meets her eyes, pained, but determined. Then pulls away,
leaving her there.
10 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT 10
Elle walks down the pink and green carpeted hall, dazed and
tear-stained.
Margot and Serena emerge from the bathroom, post-shower.
Getting ready for a night out.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) . 1:L-
10 CONTINUED: 10
MARGOT
Why are you back so soon?
Serena sees Elle's bare hand.
SERENA .
Did he forget the ring?
Elle silently walks into her room. Serena and Margot follow,
worried.
Ratings
Scene 4 - Elle's Heartbreak
Elle slumps down in an inflatable chair, hugging her knees
and cowering in a wretched little ball. Underdog stares at
her, concerned.
Serena and Margot stand in the door.
MARGOT
Elle?
SERENA
Where's the Rock?
ELLE •.*
We're not engaged. It's over! .•.*
SERENA AND MARGOT *
What?! *
ELLE *.
He broke up with me! *
Serena and Margot gasp in horror, rushing to her side. *
SERENA
Is it a Kappa?
MARGOT
It's not a Theta —
ELLE
No — it's just — not me.
I ' m canceling the mixer. We'll blacklist
Sigma Chi.
ELLE
Thank you, Serena, but I don't think
it'll do any good.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 12.
11 CONTINUED: 11
SERENA
What happened?
Elle starts to lose it again.
; ELLE
I don't know! Everything was normal at
first and then he said he needed someone
more —
(sob-choked)
Serious! .
MARGOT
Serious?! Who the hell does he think he
is? Y ou're the most popu lar month on the
USC calendar!
She points to Elle's "Miss June" page, hanging on the wall.
SERENA
Oh, he is so over on this campus.
ELLE
I just don 't underst and what went wrong —
MARGOT
Maybe it's the grandmother. Have you
e ve r me t he r?
Elle wipes her face.
ELLE
Last month on his birthday. And she
liked me! She said I looked like Britney
Spears. Why would you say that to
someone you didn't like?
They shrug, mystified.
SERENA
How could this happen?
ELLE
I don't know! I don't know anything any
more!
(wiping a tear)
I just need to be by myself.
SERENA
Are you sure?
Elle nods. The girls rise, hugging her.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 13.
11 CONTINUED: (2) 11
MARGOT
We still love you. Sisters forever!
ELLE
(sniffling)
Thank you. I love you, too.
As they go, Margot looks at Serena.
MARGOT
Oh, God. What if Josh doesn't think I ' m
serious enough? .
SERENA
Helloo... you let him have anal sex with
you.
(TV VERSION) *
Helloo... you let him videotape you *
diddling yourself. •*
MARGOT
You're right. Phew!
As the girls go, they shut the door behind them.
Elle gets up and grabs a FRAMED PHOTO of Warner, then lies
down on her bed, clutching it to her heart. Underdog leaps
up and gives her little doggy kisses.
12 EXT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - DAY 12
The sun rises on a sad day. "HOPELESSLY DEVOTED" by Olivia *•
Newton-John plays. . *
13 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY 13
Amy knocks on Elle's door.
AMY
Elle?
ANOTHER SISTER passes.
ANOTHER SISTER •
(whispering)
Didn't you hear?
She leads a reluctant Amy down the hall.
14 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 14
Spread out on the bed are PICTURES of Elle and Warner: The
Sigma Chi formal; their Homecoming Queen and King "wave"; *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 14.
14 CONTINUED: 14
a 60's party; Mardi Gras night; beach weekend at Coronado.
Next to the pictures are thirty dried Ecuardorian long-
stemmed pink roses, remnants of their one year anniversary.
In the center sits Elle, wearing Warner's old oversized Sigma
Chi t-shirt, clutching a Gund teddybear. Depressed and
looking like hell, she speaks to an unseen confidante.
ELLE
I just love him so much! I loved him the
first moment I saw him. He's beautiful
and smart and someone I totally respect.
And I did everything I could to make him
love me, but it wasn't enough. Now what
am I supposed to do? I planned my whole
future around him. My life was going to
be all about Warner. Now what's it going
to be about?
She looks up — waiting. Staring back at her is Underdog —
who sadly has no answers for her.
15 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 15
Elle remains in bed, Underdog now clutched to her chest,
soaps on the TV.
TV SOAP STUD
(on TV)
"Oh, darling. I'll love you forever."
ELLE
(teary)
Bullshit!
Serena and Margot enter, bearing Jamba Juice. *
MARGOT *
Honey, stop! You have to leave this room *
— it's been a week. *
ELLE
So?
+
Serena sits down on the edge of the bed, trying to psyche *
Elle up.
SERENA *
What's the thing that always makes us *
feel better, no matter what? . *
MARGOT *
Cunnilingus? *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 15.
15 CONTINUED: 15
Elle lets out a wail, realizing what she'll be missing. *
Serena shoots Margot a stern look. *
SERENA *
No — the thing after that, *
Ratings
Scene 5 - Elle's Plan to Win Warner Back
A row of uniformed manicurists and their classy clients. *
Chattering away. Therapy in full session. Serena sits in
front of her regular nail technician.
SERENA
It was awful. We all thought she'd be
the first to walk down the aisle and now
she's totally adrift.
The nail technician shakes her head in shared girl-power-
angst — looking over at Elle, who sits in the waiting area,
shell-shocked, but showered. *
Elle picks up the only magazine left on the table — "Town &
Country". She wrinkles her nose. An OLD LADY next to her
reads "Seventeen". Elle looks at her, begrudging the access
to teen beauty tips, and flips through "Town & Country"
noisily until she freezes on— the Engagement Section. She
gasps.
ELLE
Oh, my God! .
She looks at a PHOTO of a horse-faced YOUNG WOMAN standing
next to a THREE-YEARS-OLDER VERSION OF WARNER. She turns to
the old lady next to her.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Do you know who this is?
The old lady looks.
OLD LADY
No.
ELLE
It's Warner's older brother!
OLD LADY
Who?
Elle continues, undaunted.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 16.
16 CONTINUED: 16
ELLE
He just got engaged to this — this very
unfortunate-looking girl.
(reading)
"Third year Yale Law student Putnam Bowes
Huntington III and his fiance Layne
Walker Vanderbilt, first year Yale Law."
She turns to the old lady.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
This is the type-of girl Warner wants to
marry. This is what I need to become to
be serious.
The old lady looks at the picture.
OLD LADY
Butt ugly?
ELLE
No -- a law student.
Elle rushes out. Serena looks after her.
SERENA
Elle?
(turning back to her nail
technician)
She'll never get him back with those
cuticles.
17 INT. COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY 17
Elle sits in front of her ADVISOR.
ADVISOR
(flummoxed)
Harvard Law School?
ELLE
That's right.
ADVISOR
But it's a top three school —
ELLE
(offended)
I have a 4.0.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 17.
17 CONTINUED: 17
ADVISOR
Yes, but your major is Fashion
Merchandising. Harvard won't be
impressed that you aced "History of
Lycra". What are your backups?
ELLE
I don't need backups. Harvard is the
school I' m going to.
He decides to humor her.
ADVISOR
Well, then. You'll need excellent
recommendations from your professors, a
heck of an admissions essay and at least
a one-seventy-five on your LSATs.
ELLE
(confident)
I once had to judge a Theta Chi Tighty-
Whitey contest. Trust me— I can handle
anything.
18 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 18
Elle sits on the floor surrounded by piles of LSAT prep
books, the framed photo of Warner, and Underdog.
There's a KNOCK at the door as Serena and Margot peek inside,
gasping in horror at the sight of books.
MARGOT
What are you doing?!
Elle smiles brightly at them.
ELLE
Reading about the LSATs.
Margot looks at Serena, confused.
SERENA
(in a horrified whisper)
My cousin had them. Apparently you get a
really bad rash on your —
Elle interrupts her.
ELLE
The LSATs are an exam.
She takes a deep breath.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 18.
18 CONTINUED: 18
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Girls— I ' m going to Harvard!
• SERENA
What, like on va-kay?
MARGOT
Let's all go! Road trip!
. SERENA
Wait — Cecil has a condo in Tahoe.
Let's go there!
ELLE
No — I ' m going to law school at Harvard.
They look at her, confused.
MARGOT
Why?!
SERENA
I mean, I know you're upset and all, but
can't you just take a sedative?
Elle rolls her eyes at their naivete.
ELLE
Once Warner sees me as a serious law
student, he'll want me back. It's a
completely brilliant plan!
MARGOT
But isn't it kind of hard to get into law
school?
ELLE
I have the highest GPA in Delta Gamma!
Margot pulls something off her wrist and hands it to Elle.
MARGOT
Here. You're gonna need this.
ELLE
Your scrunchie?
MARGOT
My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass
Spanish.
Serena rolls her eyes and looks at Margot disapprovingly.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 19.
18 CONTINUED: (2) 18
SERENA
You passed Spanish because you gave
Professor Montoya a hand-job after the
final.
MARGOT
(duh)
Yeah, luckily.
A MONTAGE OF THE NEXT 3 MONTHS BEGINS WITH...
Ratings
Scene 6 - Elle Prepares for the LSAT
ON VIDEO, Elle sits in a Jacuzzi in her bikini.
ELLE
(to the camera)
My name is Elle Woods and for my
admissions essay, I ' d like to tell all of
you at Harvard why I ' m going to make an *
amazing lawyer.
20 INT. KAPPA SIG LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 20
The girls watch a horror movie with Kappa Sigs. Eating
popcorn and drinking red wine.
Off to the side, Elle reads an LSAT Study Guide.
21 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 21
ON VIDEO, a Delta Gamma chapter meeting takes place.
ELLE (V.O.)
As president of my sorority, I ' m skilled
at commanding the attention of a room and
discussing important issues.
Elle bangs a gavel, as she sits in front of her sisters.
ELLE (CONT'D) *
~ It has come to my attention that the *
maintenance staff is switching our toilet *
paper from Charmin to generic. All those *
opposed to chafing, pleas.e say "aye". *
The sisters "AYE" in unison. Underdog barks his approval. *
22 INT. CLASSROOM - NIGHT 22
"LSAT Prep Course" is written on the board. Elle and forty
other law school hopefuls take notes furiously as practice
questions are reviewed.
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 20.
23 EXT. WOODS BACKYARD POOL - DAY 23 *
ON VIDEO, FROM ABOVE, we see Elle as she floats on a raft in
her pool, in a pink Versace bikini. She addresses the *
camera. *
ELLE
(to the camera)
I ' m able to recall hundreds of important
details at the drop of a hat.
We reveal Margot on a raft beside her. *
MARGOT
(badly acting)
Elle, do you know what happened on "Days
of Our Lives" yesterday?
ELLE
Why, yes, Margot, I do. Once again, we
joined Hope in the search for her
identity. As you know, she's been .
brainwashed by the evil Stefano —
24 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 24
Elle takes a practice LSAT exam as Serena, Margot and a few
other Delta Gammas do their butt-crunches in the Delta Gamma
living room.
Serena, while clenching her tush, hits a stop watch and Elle
starts writing furiously.
DISSOLVE TO:
Margot is now on all-fours, doing donkey kicks as she grades
Elle's practice exam. She writes "143" on top and holds it
up to Elle.
Elle slumps with frustration.
25 EXT. BEACH - DAY • 25
ON VIDEO, Elle is rollerblading in shorts and a tank top.
ELLE
(to the camera)
And the laws and bi-laws of civil
obedience are crucial to my life —
Serena skates by and fake-elbows Elle.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 21.
25 CONTINUED: 25
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; calling after her)
No shoving on the skate path! City
ordinance 22G!
26 INT. LIBRARY STUDY ROOM - NIGHT 26
Elle sits in front of Amy, as Amy quizzes her with practice
LSAT questions. Books are piled high around them.
Elle gazes out the.window to see —-Warner and some BARE-
CHESTED FRATERNITY BOYS carrying a keg across the quad. Her
eyes light up and she looks at Amy pleadingly. Amy shakes her
head no. Elle slumps, then rises and goes to the window,
closing the shades and getting back to work.
•27 EXT. USC CAMPUS - DAY 27
ON VIDEO, Elle addresses the camera.
ELLE
I feel confident using legal jargon in
daily life.
CUT TO:
ON VIDEO, Elle walks across campus with Underdog in her
purse, feigning staged innocence. A RANDOM FRAT BOY pinches
her butt. She slaps his hand, dramatically.
ELLE (CONT'D)
I object!
28 INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY 28
"LSAT EXAM — Sections 1-6" is scrawled on the chalk board.
Elle sits in an auditorium with about 90 other students, LSAT
booklet open, filling in answers. Concentrating so hard
she's practically getting a forehead wrinkle.
29 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 29
ON VIDEO, Elle speaks to the camera.
ELLE
(to the camera)
I've seen every episode of "The Practice"
and I ' m even on speaking terms with Dylan
McDermott.
CUT TO:
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 22.
30 EXT. DYLAN MCDERMOTT'S HOUSE - DAY 30
Dylan McDermott gets into his car and pulls out of his
driveway.
VIDEOTAPING MADLY, the girls follow in Elle's Boxster. *
SERENA
There he is!
. MARGOT
Pull up next to him!
Elle swerves around to pull up next to Dylan McDermott. They
scream at him as Serena videotapes.
ELLE
Dylan! We love you!
Dylan McDermott burns rubber as he flees.
31 EXT. USC CAMPUS - DAY 31 "*
ON.VIDEO, Elle jogs while she addresses the camera. *
ELLE :*
(to camera) . .*
I'm totally focused and goal-oriented. *
Plus I ' m able to sway people with my very *
convincing arguments. . *
She turns to Serena, jogging next to her. *
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Calvin Klein's spring line is atrocious.
Don't you agree?
SERENA
(convinced)
Absolutely!
32 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - FOYER - DAY 32
Amy rushes in with a stack of mail, waving an LSAT envelope
as she calls out.
AMY
It's here!
Elle rushes down the stairs as the other Delta Gammas gather
around. Elle takes the envelope and says a quick prayer.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 23.
32 CONTINUED: 32
ELLE
One seventy-five...one seventy- five...
She opens it and stares at it for a long moment. Then turns
it to the crowd and raises it above her head in triumph. The
girls immediately begin jumping up and down as group joy
ensues. Underdog yips with pride. The MONTAGE ENDS.
Ratings
Scene 7 - Elle Gets into Harvard
ON THE TV, Elle stands up in the Jacuzzi.
ELLE
(on TV)
And that's why you should vote for me.
Elle Woods. Future lawyer. For the Class
of 2003.
The video is PAUSED, as three ADMISSIONS GUYS in their 4.0's
sit at a table piled high with applications, the DEAN OF
ADMISSIONS at the head of it. STUNNED SILENCE fills the room.
Finally one of them speaks.
ADMISSIONS GUY #1
That was certainly a very —
(adjusting himself)
Imaginative essay.
ADMISSIONS GUY #2
(to the Dean)
She does have a 4.0 from USC and she got
a one-seventy-nine on her LSATs.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
A fashion major?
ADMISSIONS GUY #3
Well, we've never had one before...
aren't we always looking for diversity?
AMISSIONS GUY #1
Her list of extracurriculars is
impressive.
The Dean looks at her application.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
(unimpressed)
She was in a Ricky Martin video —
ADMISSIONS GUY #2
Clearly, she's interested in music...
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 24.
33 CONTINUED: 33
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
(reading on; skeptical)
She also designed a line of faux fur
panties for her sorority's charity
project --
ADMISSIONS GUY #3
Then she's a friend to animals as well as *
a philanthropist. *
. AMISSIONS GUY #1
I think it's obvious that she's a very
well-rounded individual.
He points to Elle — freeze-framed in her bikini-top on
video, on the TV. The admissions guys look to the Dean. He
folds.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
Elle Woods — Welcome to Harvard. *
34 EXT. WOODS' BACKYARD - DAY . 34
Elle's parents — DANIEL, in tennis clothes, and the face-
lifted SAPPHIRE — stare at Elle over juice by the pool.
DANIEL
(frowning)
Law school?
Sapphire puts a hand to her throat in distress. Elle is
confused.
ELLE
It's a perfectly respectable place...
DANIEL
Sweetheart, you don't need law school.
Law school is for people who are boring
and ugly and Serious. And you, button/
are none of those things.
Sapphire is in agreement.
SAPPHIRE
You were first runner-up in the Miss
Hawaiian Tropic contest. Why throw all
that away?
ELLE
Because this is what I want. I've worked
hard for it. Don't you understand that
this is important to me?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 25.
34 CONTINUED: 34
She looks at her uncomprehending parents.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Going to Harvard is the only way I can *
get the love of my life back!
Sapphire looks at her, still not getting it. • *
SAPPHIRE
Can't you just suck his wiener? *
(TV VERSION) *
Can't you just get your nose done? *
Elle reacts to her mother's skewed logic. *•
35 EXT. HARVARD DORM - DAY 35 *
Pale, studious LAW STUDENTS clad in earth tones, move into
their dorm, carrying in their spartan belongings (coffee
makers, books, computers).
In the distance, a HAPPY POP SONG (perhaps "Heaven Tonight by *
Hole) is heard. As it gets louder, heads turn to see — *
A silver, convertible Boxster driving up, Elle at the wheel,/ *
MUSIC BLASTING. A large MOVING VAN follows the Boxster. *
People lean out of their windows, buzzing with interest as—
Elle's car stops in front of the dorm. She hops out,
scooping up Underdog and looking every inch the LA-Fred-Segal-
glamour-queen, as she looks around with a smile.
Elle looks at Underdog.
ELLE
We're here!
She bends down to pour some Evian into his inflatable doggy
dish, inadvertently revealing cleavage to a passing
BESPECTACLED BOY (several yards away).
He trips, dropping his I-MAC. It shatters into a million
pieces.
Not noticing/ Elle stands and turns to two MOVING GUYS/ who
are hauling a pink, faux-fur love seat and a potted palm tree
out of the truck.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 26.
35 CONTINUED: 35
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
This way, guys!
With a beauty queen smile in place, she strides into the dorm *
as the other students watch in amazement.
HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW
ARROGANT AARON, a Mensa geek with attitude, turns to his
roommate.
ARROGANT AARON
Whose knob did she honk to get in here?
Ratings
Scene 8 - Law School Orientation
"Welcome Law Students Class of 2003" banners hang over
orientation tables manned by second year law students (2L's)
wearing red t-shirts. Club tables with banners that read
"Harvard Law Journal" and "Environmental Law Association" are *
set up nearby.
Elle takes a packet from a fuzzy MALE 2L.
FUZZY 2L
Class schedule, map, book list.
ELLE
Has Warner Huntington checked in yet?
FUZZY 2L
(checking)
Uh, no. Maybe you should try the Lido *
deck. *
She frowns and starts to move on, but then looks through the
packet with a frown and turns back.
ELLE
Wait — my social events schedule is .
missing.
FUZZY 2L
Your what?
ELLE
You know — mixers, formals, beach
• trips.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 27.
36 CONTINUED: . 36
FUZZY 2L
(deadpan)
There's a pizza welcome lunch in twenty
minutes. Does that count?
ELLE
(wrinkling her nose)
I guess it'll have t o . . .
The Fuzzy Guy looks at the red-shirted BALD 2L next to him,
as Elle walks off. ,
FUZZY 2L
What the hell.was that?
BALD 2L
(watching her go)
Malibu Barbie lives.
37 EXT. HARVARD LAW SCHOOL - OUTDOOR GARDEN - DAY 37
Elle sits at the outdoor table, ignoring her slice of pizza,
as she looks around for Warner. Not finding him, she turns
her attention to the Group Leader, a BURNED OUT 2L in a red t-
shirt.
BURNED OUT 2L
Okay. Welcome to law school. This is the
part where we go around in a circle and
everyone says a little bit about
themselves. Let's start with you.
He gestures at a guy with glasses, DORKY DAVID.
DORKY DAVID
I have a Masters in Russian Literature, a
Ph.D in Biochemistry, and for the last
eighteen months, I've been de- worming
orphans in Somalia.
BURNED OUT 2L
Awesome. How about you, Enid?
ENID, a militant feminista, looks up.
ENID
Ph.D from Berkeley in Women's Studies—
emphasis in the History of Combat. And
last year, I led the march for Lesbians
Against Drunk Driving.
BURNED OUT 2L
Killer.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 28.
37 CONTINUED: 37
He looks at an intense guy in his late twenties, IVAN.
INTENSE IVAN
I've got an MBA from Wharton, worked on
Wall Street for four years, mushed in
three ididarods and I ' ve figured out how
to crash the stock market in Sri Lanka if
any of you want to get together later.
BURNED OUT 2L
Sweet. What about you?
He looks at Elle. She sits up straight.
ELLE
I ' m a Gemini. I have a Bachelors degree
from USC, where I was Sigma Chi
Sweetheart and president of Delta Gamma,
and last year '• — I was Homecoming Queen .
She smiles, as the group leader nods, waiting.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Oh!
(dramatically)
Two weeks ago, I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred
Segal — and talked her out of buying a
truly heinous angora sweater! Whoever
said that orange is the new pink is
seriously disturbed.
She looks around, pleased. Enid' snickers as the rest of the
group stares at Elle, dumbfounded.
38 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - DAY 38
A grey, dingy, cell-block style room — now crammed with
Elle's clothes, the pink fluffy love seat and potted palm,
along with an Elliptical Cross-Trainer, pink flamingo party
lights and a neon pink margarita glass sculpture.
Elle tries to shove a large law textbook into her tiny Prada
backpack to no avail. She gives up and tosses the book onto
the bed where Underdog leaps away to miss being squished.
ELLE
Wish me luck, Underdog. It's my first
class as a serious law student.
She kisses him and looks down at her completely inappropriate
skimpy Gucci outfit, which she accents by putting on trendy,
wire-rimmed glasses.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 29.
38 CONTINUED: 38
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; to herself)
I totally look the part!
Ratings
Scene 9 - First day of law school and reuniting with old friends
Elle heads for a classroom, amidst a crowd of students who
eye her like she's an alien. She rounds a corner, seeing —
WARNER, in all his handsome glory, looking over his schedule.
She starts toward him, as if pulled by a magnetic force.
Arrogant Aaron sees her passing by.
ARROGANT AARON
(seductively)
Hello there.. . . . . . .
Elle keeps going, not even noticing him. Eyes only for
Warner. Arrogant Aaron stomps away, pissed at the perceived
blow-off.
As Elle gets closer to Warner, she opts for wandering past
him, seemingly oblivious to his presence.
WARNER
(stunned)
Elle?!
Elle turns, ultra-nonchalant.
ELLE
Warner?! Oh my God, I completely forgot
you were going here!
He looks at her, confused. People walk by, staring.
WARNER
What're you talking about? You're not
here to see me?
ELLE
No, silly. I go here.
WARNER
(still confused)
You go where?
ELLE
Harvard. Law school.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 30.
39 CONTINUED: 39
WARNER
v-—y Y ou g o t in to Ha rv a rd L aw ?
ELLE.
(confused at his confusion)
What, like it's that.hard?
Warner stares at her :— completely discombobulated. She
smiles sweetly and makes a show of checking her watch.
. ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Oops! Time for class. Meet me after?
On the benches?
WARNER
Uh — sure.
She sashays off with a confident smile.
40 INT. CIVIL PROCEDURES CLASS - DAY 4.0.
Students file in and take their seats. Elle enters, looking
around nervously at the imposing auditorium. Arrogant Aaron,
next to her, leans over.
ARROGANT AARON
If you're looking for the best seat, I
hear the front row is the place to be.
Elle smiles at him.
ELLE •
Thanks.
Ratings
Scene 10 - First Day of Class
PROFESSOR ELSPETH STROMWELL, a tough-as-nails Grande Dame in
her 50' s , addresses the class. Laptops abound — except for
Elle, who has a fuzzy pink notebook and a pen with a pink
plastic heart on the end.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
A legal education means you will learn to
speak in a new language. You will be
taught to achieve insight into the world
around you, and to sharply question what
you know.
Everyone soaks this up. Including Elle.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 31.
41 CONTINUED: 41
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
The seat you've picked is yours for the
next nine months of your life. Enjoy it.
And those of you in the front row,
beware. . . .
Elle, in the front row, between two UNSHOWERED BRANIACS, •*
looks around, panicked. One of the braniacs passes her the *
seating chart and she has no choice but to sign her name.
In the back, Arrogant Aaron nudges his friend and smiles.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
"The law is reason free from passion."
Does anyone know who spoke those immortal
words?
Dorky David raises his hand.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Yes?
DORKY DAVID
(confidently)
Aristotle.
Professor Stromwell approaches him the way Cruella de Ville
approaches a puppy.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Are you sure?
Now he's not.
DORKY DAVID
Yes?
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
~ Would you be willing to stake your life
on it?
DORKY DAVID
I think so...
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
How about —
She spins around, roughly POKING another student in the head.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 32.
41 CONTINUED: (2) 41
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
— his life?
DORKY DAVID
(scared)
I don't know.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Well, I recommend knowing before
speaking.. The law leaves much room for
interpretation — but very little for
self-doubt.
As she turns away —
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And you were right. It was Aristotle.
The class half-laughs in relief.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
I assume you've all read pages 1- 48 and
are now well-versed in subject matter
jurisdiction.
Elle looks around, surprised, as students open their books.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Who can tell us about Gordon v. Steele?
Silence. Stromwell looks down at the seating chart.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ivan Greenstein?
Intense Ivan straightens in his' seat.
IVAN
Gordon sued her doctors for malpractice.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
And what did the dispute entail?
(looking at her chart)
Let's call on someone in the hot zone.
Elle Woods? Elle looks up, distressed.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 33.
41 CONTINUED: (3) 41
ELLE
Uh... I wasn't aware that we had an
assignment.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
(looking at her chart)
Sarah Knottingham?
SARAH KNOTTINGHAM — a prim and preppy blue-blood brunette,
dressed in pearls and a sweater set — looks up.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Do you think it's acceptable that Ms.
Woods is unprepared?
Sarah looks over at Elle. Elle gives her a mortified smile.
Sarah turns back to Professor Stromwell.
SARAH
No, I don't.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Would you support my decision to ask her
to leave and return to class only when
she is prepared?
SARAH
Absolutely.
Elle can't believe that this girl would betray her. Having
no choice,, she gathers her purse and goes, completely
humiliated. Professor Stromwell returns to the matter at
hand.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Now, Ms. Knottingham, did diversity
jurisdiction'exist in this case?
Ratings
Scene 11 - First day of Law School
EMMETT — a shy and quirkily handsome 28-year-old who could
pass for younger — sits on a bench, going over some papers.
He looks up and spots Elle — sitting across from him —
looking traumatized.
EMMETT
Are you okay?
Elle looks up, snapping out of her stupor.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 34.
42 CONTINUED: . 42
ELLE
Do they just — put you on the spot like
that? Like, all the time?
EMMETT
The professors? Yeah, they tend- to do
that. Socratic method.
ELLE
And if you don't know the answer, they
just kick you out?
He smiles.
EMMETT
You have Stromwell.
ELLE
(hopeful)
Did she do that to you, too?
EMMETT
No, but she made me cry once. Not in
class — I waited until I got to my room,
but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel
your balls — or you know, your
whatevers .
ELLE
(stricken)
Neat . • ' , '
EMMETT
Don't worry. It gets better. Who else
do you have?
Elle looks at her schedule.
ELLE
Donovan, Royalton and Levinson.
EMMETT
Speak up in Donovan's class. He likes
people with an opinion. Sit in the back
for Royalton. He tends to spit when he
talks about products liability.
Elle makes a face. He smiles. Liking her.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 35.
42 CONTINUED: ( 2 ) 42
EMMETT (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And make sure you read the footnotes in
Levinson's class. That's where all her
exam questions come from.
ELLE
Wow. I ' m glad I met you.
She smiles at him, grateful.
EMMETT
Oh, and getting one of Stromwell's daily
quotes right is almost as important as
acing the mid-term. But you didn't hear
it from me.
Students trickle out of the building.
ELLE " .:.
Are you a third-year?
Warner walks up, behind Emmett, interrupting.
WARNER
Hey.
Elle looks up, pure adoration on her face.
ELLE
Hi!
Emmett rises and walks off.
EMMETT
Good luck.
ELLE
(calling after him)
Thanks again for your help!
Warner remains standing, still somewhat uncomfortable with
her presence here.
WARNER
So — uh — how was your first class?
ELLE
Fine. Except for this horrible girl who
made me look bad in front of my Civ Pro
professor. But no biggie. You're here
now.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 36.
42 CONTINUED: (3) 42
ELLE (CONT'D)
(perky)
How was your summer?
She pats the bench beside her. He doesn't move.
• WARNER
(distracted)
Good. Good.
ELLE
Do anything exciting?
A female hand snakes around Warner's chest from behind.
Warner turns and brings the owner of the hand around to his
side, presenting her.
WARNER
(nervous)
Urn, hey, have you met Sarah?
Sarah, the horrible girl herself, holds out her hand to Elle,
full of contempt.
SARAH
Hi. Sarah Knottingham.
ELLE
(to Warner; horrified)
• You know her?
WARNER
She's —
Sarah jumps in. •
SARAH .
— I ' m his fiancee.
Elle stares at her. Sarah tucks a piece of her mousy brown
hair behind her ear and there it is — The Rock.
ELLE
(in disbelief)
I ' m sorry, I just hallucinated.
WARNER
Sarah was my girlfriend at prep school.
We got back together over the summer at
my grandmother's birthday party.
Elle looks stricken. Sarah gives her a smug smile.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 37.
42 CONTINUED: (.4) 42
SARAH
Warner told me all about you. You're
famous at our Club.
She says it in a way that is anything but flattering. In
fact, it's completely condescending.
SARAH (CONT'D)
(continuing; pointedly)
But he didn't tell me you'd be here.
WARNER
I didn't know —
Elle looks from Warner to Sarah.
ELLE
Excuse me.
She rushes off. Sarah watches her go, a smug grin on her
face, • ' • • ••
SARAH
(to Warner)
I thought you said she was pretty.
Ratings
Scene 12 - The Beauty Oasis
Elle drives, wiping the tears from her face. She spots
something off to the side and SWERVES her car toward it, a
gasp of hope escaping her lips.
Her car stops in front of a strip mall salon called "Beauty *
Oasis". *
44 INT. BEAUTY OASIS - DAY 44 *
A downscale, blue-collar salon, with five hair chairs and two *
manicure stations. Old ladies and young waitresses get perms. *
PAULETTE —early 40s, lower-middle class, hard-edged, plus- *
sirzed — looks up as a defeated Elle sinks into the manicure *
chair.(The manicure station is plastered with pictures of *
RUFUS, a big, slobbering pit-bull). • *
PAULETTE
Bad day?
Elle holds out her hands. Paulette dips them into a dish of
soapy water.
ELLE
You can't even imagine.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 38.
44 CONTINUED: 44
PAULETTE
.Spill.,
Elle lets it all out in a rush.
ELLE
I worked really hard to get into law
school — I blew off Spring Break and
Greek Week to study for the LSATs, I
completely neglected my Homecoming Queen
duties, I hired a Coppola to direct my
admissions video — all so I could get my
boyfriend Warner back and now he's *
engaged to this awful girl Sarah so it
was all for nothing! I wish I ' d never
even come to Harvard. *
Paulette dries Elle's hands and begins filing.
PAULETTE
After you went to all that trouble?
ELLE :
Well, what am I supposed to do? He's
engaged! She's got the family six-carat
on her bony, unpolished finger.
PAULETTE *
You're asking the wrong girl. I ' m with *
my guy eight years and then one day it's *
"I met someone else. Move out." *
ELLE *
(horrified) *
What'd you do? *
PAULETTE *
Cried a lot and gained twenty pounds. *
Dewey kept the trailer and my precious *
baby Rufus. I got jackcrap. *
She looks at a picture of the pit-bull. *
PAULETTE (CONT'D) *
(continuing; re the dog) *
I didn't even get to go to his birthday *
party. *
ELLE *
No! *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 39.
44 CONTINUED: ( 2 ) 44
PAULETTE *
What could I do? *
(shrugging) *
He's a man who followed his pecker to *
greener pastures. I ' m a middle-aged high- *
school dropout with stretch marks and a *
fat ass. Happens every day. At least to *
women like me. *
ELLE . *•
That's terrible! *
PAULETTE *
So, what's this Sarah got that you don't? *
Three tits? -*
ELLE *
She's from Connecticut. She belongs to
his stupid country club.
PAULETTE
Is she as pretty as you?
Elle looks down.
ELLE
(embarrassed)
I ' m not pretty — I ' m genetically
blessed.
Paulette rolls her eyes, shaking her bottle of polish and
starting on Elle's right hand.
PAULETTE
Is sJie.? "*
ELLE
She could use some mascara and some
serious highlights, but she's not
completely unfortunate- looking.
UPS GUY (O.S.) *
Hello, ladies. *
Paulette looks up to see the UPS GUY, a strapping hunk of a *
man in his late 30' s . She blushes and smooths down her hair, *
knocking over a bottle of nail polish in the process. Trying *
to play it off as she signs for the package. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 40.
44 CONTINUED: ( 3 ) 44
UPS GUY (CONT'D) . *
See ya later. *
He goes. Paulette watches him. Elle notices. *
PAULETTE *
(hating herself) . *
Could I be anymore goddamn spastic? *
(beat) *
So you're sure, this Warner guy is "the *
one"?
ELLE
Definitely! I love him!
Paulette looks at her. *
PAULETTE
If a girl like you can't hold on to her *
man -- then there sure as hell isn't any *
hope for the rest of us. What're you *
waiting for? Steal the bastard back. *
45 INT. DORMITORY - WARNER'S ROOM - DAY 45
Elle knocks on Warner's door, bottle of wine and two glasses
in hand.
ELLE
Warner?
When she gets no answer, she write a message on his memo
board -- CLOSE ON— "Call me! Love, You Know Who".
She leaves the wine bottle and two glasses and goes.
46 EXT. HARVARD LAW CAMPUS - DAY 46 *
Elle is in her push-up bikini, reclining in her beach chair,
pink frozen margarita in one hand, Underdog in the other, law
book in her lap, pretending to study.
We PULL BACK to reveal that she's sitting on the sidelines of
a touch-football game that Warner is playing with a group of
other 1-L's.
Warner scores easily because the other male eyes are all on
Elle. He shakes his head and smiles.
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 41.
Ratings
Scene 13 - Law School Competition Begins
Elle sits, glaring at Sarah, who keeps waving her "The Rock"
in Elle's direction, as she plays footsie with Warner.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN — 40s, a big fan of himself, salt and
pepper hair, no time for bullshit — stands before the class.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
I should warn you that in addition to
competing against each other for the top
grade in this class, you'll also be
competing for one of my firm's highly
coveted four internship spots next year
where you will get to assist on actual
cases. Let the bloodbath begin. Now,
let's commence with our usual torture —
He looks around.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ms. Woods —
Sarah and her bitchy, clone-like friend CLAIRE exchange
knowing glances.
SARAH
This should be amusing.
• PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Would you rather have a client who
committed a crime malum in se or malum
prohibitum?
ELLE
Neither.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Why not?
ELLE
I'd rather have a client who's innocent.
Elle smiles, proud of her answer. The class snickers. Warner
frowns.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
. Dare to dream, Ms. Woods. Ms.
Knottingham? Which would you prefer?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 42.
47 CONTINUED: 47
SARAH
Malum prohibitum. Because the client
would've committed a regulatory
infraction as opposed to a dangerous
crime.
Elle raises her hand.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Yes? Ms. Woods?
' ELLE ' . .
I changed my mind. I ' d pick the
dangerous one.
She looks pointedly at Sarah.
ELLE (CONT''D)
(continuing)
I ' m not afraid of a challenge.
Sarah glares back at her. Warner looks between the two of *
them, worried. • *
48 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 48
The Harvard Public Interest Law Association meeting is *
O underway. Warner .listens intently, A few seats away, Elle
appears to be taking notes.
CLOSE ON—her "notes" — "I'm free for dinner tonight. Meet
me at The Cask & Flagon at 8." *
She folds the note and sticks it in Underdog's mouth, then points
him toward Warner. Humiliated but dutiful, Underdog bounds off.
CLOSE ON — Underdog, as he carries forth his mission,
arriving at Warner's feet. UNDERDOG'S POV — Warner
discreetly takes the note from him, then looks over at Elle,
who feigns interest in the meeting.
4 9 INT. CASK & FLAGON RESTAURANT - NIGHT 49 *
Elle waits for Warner, alone at a table. Checking her watch
to see it's 8:45, she tries not to be sad.
50 INT. HARVARD LAW LIBRARY - DAY 50 *
Warner and his study group, Sarah and Claire included, sit at
a table, going over their outlines. Elle walks up to the
table, holding a basket of muffins, bright smile on her face.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 43.
50 CONTINUED: 50
ELLE
' I ' m here to join your study group. And
look! I brought sustenance!
She holds up the muffins as the others look up, frowns all
around.
WARNER
(nervously looking at Sarah)
Elle, what're you doing here?
Elle pulls up a chair from another table and holds up a
muffin. '
ELLE
Who's first?
She sits down next to Warner.
SARAH
Our group is full.
ELLE
Oh, God, was this like an RSVP thing?
CLAIRE
No, it's like a smart people thing. And
like Sarah said, we're full.
WARNER
Come on ~ we can make room for one more.
Sarah looks at Warner with evil eyes.
SARAH
We've already assigned the outlines, and
everyone has started theirs',
CLAIRE
(to Warner)
Besides, you wouldn't let the fat guy
_ join.
WARNER
He tried to watch me take'a shower!
Sarah looks at Elle.
SARAH
The answer is no.
Warner looks at her, feeling guilty. He shrugs an "I'm
sorry", but Elle's perkiness has gone.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 44.
50 CONTINUED: (2) 50
She gathers up her muffins and stands, clutching the basket
to her chest as she goes.
ELLE
Then I guess I'll leave you alone.
She walks away, completely deflated, passing by the RAGING
FEMINIST STUDY GROUP. Enid calls out.
ENID
Maybe there's a sorority you could join
instead.
Elle stops and looks at her.
ELLE
(to Enid)
You know, if you'd come to a Rush party,
I would've at least been nice to you.
ENID
Before you voted against me and called me
a dyke behind my back?
ELLE
I don't use that word. Only mean people
use that word. You must've heard it from
Sarah. .
She looks back at Warner's table and walks off. As she does.,
she's nearly mowed down by a gaggle of NERDS led by DORKY *
DAVID, who knock the muffins out of her hands. She stands *
there, even more depressed.
51 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - DAY - LATER 51 *
Elle sinks down onto her bed, deflated. She picks up the
phone and dials.
52 INT. BRIDAL SHOP - DAY 52
Serena, with a new hairdo, and Margot are surrounded by
wedding dresses. Margot talks on her cell phone. We *
Ratings
Scene 14 - Elle attends a Halloween party
MARGOT
(to Serena)
It's Elle!
(into phone)
Guess what I ' m doing right this second?
ELLE
Power yoga?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 45.
52 CONTINUED: 52
MARGOT
Picking out my wedding dress!
ELLE
• What?!
MARGOT
Josh proposed!
ELLE
(startled)
No way —
Serena grabs the phone.
SERENA
(into phone)
;;po you have The Rock yet?
Elle lies.
ELLE
Almost.
SERENA
Well, hurry up so you can come home! We
miss you!
ELLE
I miss you guys! The people here are so
vile! Hardly anyone even talks to me
unless it's to say something that's not
nice. Law school sucks!
SERENA
Oh, my God! I completely forgot to tell
you!
ELLE
What?
SERENA
I got bangs!
ELLE
(hurt and annoyed)
Really —
Margot grabs the phone back.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 46.
52 CONTINUED: (2) 52
MARGOT :
(into phone)
Keep June first open — you're one of my
bridesmaids. And give Warner our love.
ELLE
Iwill.. . .
Margot hangs up and Elle follows suit. Even more deflated.
53 INT. ELLE'S DORM - HALLWAY - DAY - SAME TIME 53 *
Sarah and Claire walk past Elle's room, the door of which is
ajar.
SARAH
It's not just any Halloween party. It's a
"Come as Your Favorite Defendant" party.
CLAIRE
That-'s genius.
Elle pops her head out of the room.
ELLE
(excited)
No way! Someone at this school is
actually having a party?
Sarah and Claire turn around. Elle's face falls when she
sees that it's them.
SARAH
No.
CLAIRE
You must've heard us wrong.
SARAH
Sorry. Looks like you'll be staying home
tonight. Alone.
They continue on as Elle goes back into her room, snubbed.
54 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS 54 *
Elle shuts the door behind her and looks at Underdog.
ELLE
I can't believe this. Not only do I not *
have Warner, but I ' m —unpopular! *
The realization hits her hard. Underdog barks. She looks at him.*
• . ' . • • •
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 47.
54 CONTINUED: 54
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
But I wasn't invited.
He barks again.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
You really think I should?
55 EXT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - PORCH - NIGHT 55
Two feet in high heels and fishnet hose stride purposefully
up the sidewalk. .
A perfect butt wearing a bunny tail wiggles up the steps.
56 INT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - NIGHT 56
A party filled with people who are no fun to party with.
NAMETAGS denote which famous defendant everyone is dressed as.
Menenedez's, Tonya Harding's, and Buttafuco's pepper the room.
Elle, decked out in a Playboy Bunny costume — looking sexy
as hell — strides in. People roll their eyes and ignore
her. Elle continues on.
NEARBY — Enid, dressed as Lizzie Borden, axe in hand/ is in
the midst of a tirade against some guy dressed like William
Kennedy Smith.
ENID
The English language is all about subliminal
domination. Take the word "semester". It's a
perfect example of this school's
discriminatory preference of semen to
ovaries. That's why I ' m petitioning to have
next term be referred to as Winter Ovester.
The guy backs up in fright. As Elle passes, Enid looks over.
ENID (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Hey, Elle— I've been meaning to ask you
(re her boobs)
— are those real?
Elle snorts.
ELLE
Enid, please — silicone is so 90's.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 48.
56 CONTINUED: 56
She keeps walking.
57 INT. INTO THE LIVING ROOM - AT THE BAR -CONTINUOUS 57
Sarah — dressed as Hester Prynne — and Claire —as Joan of
Arc -- sip wine.
ELLE
(continuing; sarcastic)
Thanks for inviting me, girls. This party
is super fun.
They roll their eyes, checking out her Bunny costume.
SARAH
You're supposed to be dressed as a famous
defendant.
Elle smiles at Sarah.
ELLE
I am. Didn't you hear about the Playboy
Bunny who slit her ex- boyfriend's new
fiancee's throat with a broken wine
glass? It was tragic.
She grabs a glass of wine and moves on.
Ratings
Scene 15 - Elle Fights Back
Elle walks onto the back porch and finds Warner —dressed as
O.J. in a USC football uniform, number 32, with a ball and
chain on his foot.
ELLE
Hey, O.J.
Warner turns. He looks around for Sarah. Not seeing her, he
smiles at Elle, admiring her costume.
WARNER
Wow. You're a walking felony.
ELLE
Thank you. Having fun?
WARNER
(checking her out)
Now I am.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 49.
58 CONTINUED: 58
ELLE
(flirty)
I feel like we've barely spent any time
together since we got here.
WARNER
That's because I spend all my time with
case studies and hypos.
ELLE
Tell me about it. I can't imagine doing
all this and Donovan's internship next
year.
WARNER
(scoffing)
Elle, c'mon, there's no way you'll get
the grades to qualify for one of those
spots. You're not smart enough.
She can't believe he's saying this. He realizes he's gone
too far, and back-pedals.
WARNER (CONT'D)
(continuing)
I didn't mean —
ELLE
(cutting him off)
Am I on glue, or did I not get into the
same law school you did, Warner?
WARNER
(covering)
Well, yeah, but —
ELLE
But what? We took the same LSAT, we take
the same classes —
WARNER
I just don't want to see you get your
hopes up. You know how you get.
She stares at him. Realizing the awful truth.
ELLE
I'11 never be good enough for you, will
I?
When he doesn't answer, she walks back into the house.
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 50.
59 INT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT -SAME TIME 59
A group of tipsy ILs stand around. One of them holds a salad
bowl filled with cash.
ENID
I give her two more weeks.
She throws a twenty into the bowl. ' •. .
DORKY DAVID
Two and a half?
He throws in his twenty as well.
SARAH
If she spreads her legs, maybe —
ARROGANT AARON
(adjusting his crotch)
Only if I ' m feeling generous.
ELLE (O.S.)
What is this?
They turn around to find Elle standing there.
CLAIRE
We're betting on how much longer you're
going to last.
ELLE
(stung)
What?
SARAH
Look around, Elle. Do you actually think
you belong here?
They all stare at her.
ELLE
(hurt)
Why wouldn't I?
ENID
Because the rest of us provide some
worthwhile value to society?
ARROGANT AARON
Hold on, now — every society needs a
bimbo. Who are we supposed to sleep with
after we get rich?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 51.
59 CONTINUED: 59
Elle looks like she's been slapped. The others laugh at
Aaron's esteemed wit.
ELLE
You know what? All of you can just kiss
my ass.
She yanks off her Bunny tail and throws it at them. Hurt and
anger in her eyes. Then walks out of the room.
' ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; to herself)
You're about to see just how valuable
Elle Woods can be.
She stomps out of the house.
A GIRL-POWER SONG STARTS TO PLAY AS A MONTAGE BEGINS:
60 INT. HARVARD BOOKSTORE - NIGHT 60
A hot pink laptop is yanked off the shelf.
CUT TO:
Elle, still in her Bunny suit, minus the tail, stands in
line, paying for the laptop. People gape at her, but she's
oblivious in her resolve.
EMMETT walks up behind her in line. He clears his throat,
trying not to look at her costume.
Elle turns, seeing him.
ELLE
Don't ask.
EMMETT
Wasn't gonna. -
She marches off. Laptop in hand.
61 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT 61
A pony-tailed Elle types a brief, coffee next to her.
Underdog sleeps nearby, belly-up. Legs twitching in a
nightmare. Typing furiously, Elle breaks a nail, then
struggles to forge on, despite her instinct to stop and
repair it.
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 52.
62 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 62
Elle — arms full of books — walks past the Warner/Sarah
study group. Sarah and Claire scowl at her, but Elle passes
with her head held high.
63 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 63
Enid is surrounded by study materials and notecards. When
she gets up to use the ladies' room, Elle casually walks over
and slips a notecard into the middle of Enid's stack. Then
quickly walks on. '
64 INT. BEAUTY OASIS - DAY 64 *
Paulette quizzes Elle from a law textbook as her nails dry. *
As she waits for Elle's answer, Paulette showers Underdog *
with kisses, showing him pictures of Rufus. *
Ratings
Scene 16 - Elle's Argument Wins the Day
Donovan is in the midst of a lecture. He points at Elle.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
And the purpose of "diminished capacity"
is?
She swallows nervously, then speaks.
ELLE
To negate mens rea?
Donovan nods affirmatively and continues. Elle hides a
smile.
66 INT. LAW LIBRARY - NIGHT 66
Elle reaches for a book on a high shelf, but she's not tall
enough. She tries a running start and leaps for it. Still
missing it. *
FROM THE LEFT, she runs and leaps again, missing again. *
FROM THE RIGHT, she runs and leaps again, missing again. *
Dorky David walks up and sets down a step-stool at her: feet.
Now winded, she smiles her thanks, stepping up to retrieve *
her book. *
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 53.
67 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 67
Enid flips through her notecards, memorizing, when she comes
upon a picture of a NAKED MAN. Oh, the horror. She throws it
down in disgust as if her eyes have been burned.
Looking around, Enid sees Elle smiling and waving at her from *
across the room. *
68 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 68
Elle walks past Arrogant Aaron, as he sleeps at his study
cubicle, head back on the chair.
She stops, backs up, and waves her hand over his face. When
he doesn't stir, she takes a magic marker out of her knapsack
and leans over to write something on his forehead. *
69 INT. ELLE1S DORM ROOM - DAY 69 *
Elle works out on her Elliptical Crosstrainer as she listens
to a lecture tape and watches Court TV on mute.
LECTURER (V.O.)
"A failure to act can constitute the actus reus for
accomplice liability if the defendant has the legal duty to
intervene, but fails to do so."
70 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 70>
Arrogant Aaron wakes up with a start, checks his watch, and
rushes off to class. Oblivious to his facial graffiti, which
we can't yet read.
71 INT. CIVIL PROCEDURES CLASS - DAY 71
Professor Stromwell is in front of the class.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
So you've filed a claim. Now what?
She looks over to see Elle sitting there, typing on her
laptop.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ms. Woods?
ELLE
Don't you also need to have evidence?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 54.
71 CONTINUED: 71
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Meaning?
Everyone now stares at Elle.
'ELLE
Meaning you need — reasonable belief
that your claim would have, like,
evidentiary support?
Stromwell is somewhat impressed, but doesn't show it.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
And what kind of evidentiary support does
this case require? Let's ask Mr.
Harriman, who clearly believes that I
might be hungry.
She looks up at Arrogant Aaron in the back row. Who
unknowingly has "Eat Me" written on his forehead. He looks
back at her, confused, as the students around him snicker.
72 EXT. BEAUTY OASIS - NIGHT 72
A "Closed" sign is on the door.
THROUGH THE WINDOW, we see Elle and Paulette sitting in the
empty salon, laughing and clinking cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon
as they toast Elle's small victory. We PULL BACK, leaving
them laughing, as the MONTAGE ENDS.
73 INT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - DAY 73
"THE STATE V. LATIMER" is written on the board. A pony-
tailed, less made-up Elle takes notes on her lap-top, as
Warner makes an argument.
WARNER
. According to Swinney v. Neubert, Swinney,
who was also a private sperm donor, was
allowed visitation rights as long as he
came to terms with the hours set forth by
the parents. So, if we're sticking to
past precedent, Mr. Latimer wasn't
stalking— he was clearly within his
rights to ask for visitation.
PROFESSOR DONQVAN
But Swinney was a one-time sperm donor,
and in our case, the defendant was a
habitual sperm donor, who also happens to
be harassing the parents in his quest for
visitation.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 55.
73 CONTINUED: "73
WARNER
But, without this man's sperm —the
child in question would not exist.
He grins and looks around as the class murmurs their
agreement.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Now you're thinking like a lawyer.
EMMETT enters from the back, holding a file. He stands there
quietly, watching. •
Elle tentatively raises her hand.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN (CONT'D)
Ms. Woods?
Sarah looks at Claire.
SARAH
(sotto)
The idiot speaks.
ELLE
Although Mr. Huntington makes an
excellent point, I have to wonder if the *
defendant kept a thorough record of each *
sperm emission made throughout his life?
The class titters. Elle grows annoyed.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
(bemused)
Why do you ask?
Elle's hesitancy is replaced by conviction.
ELLE
Well, unless the defendant attempted to *
contact every single one-night- stand to
determine if a child resulted in those
unions — then he has no parental claim
whatsoever over this child. Why this
sperm? Why now? '
Emmett's mouth twitches into a smile.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 56.
73 CONTINUED: (2) 73
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
For that matter, all masturbatory
emissions where his sperm was clearly not
seeking an egg could be termed reckless
abandonment.
Warner's mouth hangs open. As does Sarah's and the rest of
the class. Donovan smiles.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
I believe you've just won your case.
Elle grins. :
Ratings
Scene 17 - Elle Wins Over Donovan and Dewey
As the students file out, Elle passes Donovan.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You did well today.
She stops.
ELLE
I did?
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You're applying for my internship, aren't
you?
ELLE
I don ' t know —
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You should. Do you have a resume?
ELLE
(excited)
" ••'.' . • •. . . i do. ' ' , .''. •' . . • ; . .
She pulls a resume out of her briefcase and hands it to him..
He looks at it. •
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
It's pink.
ELLE
And engraved... Gives it that extra
little something, doesn't it? .
(smiling)
See you tomorrow!
(CONTINUED)
.9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 57.
74 CONTINUED: 74
She walks on. Emmett walks up, handing the file to Donovan.
EMMETT
I brought you the Windham notes. *
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
(watching Elle go)
You think she just woke up one morning
and said, "I think I'll go to law school
today!"?
Eitimett looks after Elle, bemused.
EMMETT
Aside from that lapse in judgement —
she's got potential.
75 INT. ELLE'S CAR-DAY 75 *
Elle drives. Paulette is shotgun. • *
PAULETTE
You showed up Warner in class? You're
supposed to be showing up Sarah.
ELLE
I couldn't help it! It was the most fun
I've had since I've been in law school.
Not only was I good enough for Warner —
I was better than him. He has to see
serious I am now. Even Donovan was
impressed, and he's a total hard- ass.
Elle stops the car and turns off the ignition. *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
You ready? *
PAULETTE •. *
No. '•*
ELLE *
Yes, you are. Go — you can do this. . *
She points ahead of them. Paulette goes. *
76 EXT. DEWEY'S TRAILER - DAY . 76 *
The door opens. DEWEY(40s) and his beer gut emerge. *
Paulette is on the porch. Trying to exude confidence, but *
failing. *
(CONTINUED)
9/172000 Revision (Blue) 58.
16 CONTINUED: 76
DEWEY *
(to Paulette) *
What the hell do yon want? We're eating *
dinner. *
PAULETTE *
I just — *
DEWEY *
You just thought you'd come over and show *
me what I 'm definitely not missing? *
77 INT. ELLE'S CAR - DAY -SAME TIME 77 *
She watches, frowning. *
78 EXT. DEWEY 'S TRAILER - DAY -CONTINUOUS 78 *'
Dewey's really having fun now. *
; DEWEY ; *
What the hell happened to you? You get a *
job at a donut shop? *
• PAULETTE *
That's not what — *
DEWEY *
How many times you gonna show up here, *
beggin1 me to take you back? ' *
Paulette reddens — flustered and humiliated. Elle appears *
next to her. *
ELLE *
Dewey Newcomb? *
DEWEY *
Who's askin' *
ELLE *
. I ' m Elle Woods. Ms. Bonaf ante's • . *
attorney. *
Paulette looks at Elle in surprise, Elle keeps going. *
*
ELLE (CONT'D) *
Under state law, you and Ms. Bonaf ante *
had a common law marriage which entitles *
her to the benefits of property law and *
an equitable division of assets. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 59.
78 CONTINUED: "78
Paulette watches Elle, mouth hanging open. *
DEWEY
(confused) *
Come again? *
ELLE *
Due to the fact that you retained the *
residence, Ms. Bonafante is entitled to *
full ownership of the canine property in *
question and we will be enforcing said *
ownership immediately. *
DEWEY : *
Huh? *
ELLE *•
Tell him, Paulette. *
A still-stunned Paulette looks at Elle, then turns to Dewey, *
fire in her ass. '•.." *
PAULETTE •*
I ' m taking the dog dumbass. *
(calling into the trailer) *
C'mere, baby, Mommy's here! *
Rufus bounds out, licking and kissing Paulette. The love *
evident. *
79 INT./EXT. ELLE'S CAR - A MOMENT LATER 79 *
Elle, Paulette and Rufus get in. *
ELLE *
We did it! . *
Elle high-fives her. *
PAULETTE *
God, that felt great! *
ELLE • *
Look at him. He's still scratching his *
head. *
PAULETTE . *
Which must be a nice vacation for his *
balls. . . *
She turns to Rufus, hugging him. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 60.
79 CONTINUED: 79
PAULETTE (CONT'D) *
And now Mommy's got somebody to eat *
dinner with again. You don't care what *
Mommy's butt looks like, do you? *
Elle looks over at Paulette, heart going out to her. *
Ratings
Scene 18 - Elle Gets an Internship
Elle turns on her Powerbook as Professor Stromwell faces the
class with her morning quote.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
"An image and a good hook can get you
into a room —• but something has to keep
you in that room."
She looks around as hands are raised.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Mr. Greenstein?
INTENSE IVAN
Judge Sandra Day 0'Connor?
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Close.. . .
Intense Ivan's face falls. She looks around, seeing Elle
raising her hand.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing) -
Ms. Woods?
ELLE
Madonna?
The class rolls their eyes and laughs, watching Stromwell.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Damn. Thought I ' d get everyone on that
one.
The class can't believe Elle is right.
81 EXT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - HALLWAY - DAY 81
A THRONG of buzzing students is gathered around the bulletin
board. Elle walks up.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 61.
81 CONTINUED: 81
ELLE
What's going on?
DORKY DAVID
Donovan's firm is defending a major
murder case and his caseload is so heavy
he's taking on first year interns.
ELLE
He chose them already?
Sarah, at the front of the throng, gasps, then turns to
Warner.
SARAH
We got it!
He grins and she kisses him on the cheek. Elle, shoved to
the back, tries to get closer, when she hears —
ENID
The competition must not have been that
' • stiff. •
Arrogant Aaron pushes his way to the board. .*
ARROGANT AARON
Why? ion .got a spot? *
ENID *
Hey! Watch your hands, Mr.Grabass. *
ARROGANT AARON '*
(ignoring her) *
That only leaves one for — *
Elle, now next to him, gets a look at the board.
ELLE
(shocked)
Me?!
Everyone REACTS. She turns and faces the throng. They stare
back at her in shock. *
Dignified, she walks through them as they PART for her, *
stopping in front of Warner and Sarah. *
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; to Warner) • *
Remember the time after Winter Formal? *
When we spent four incredible hours In *
the hot tub...? *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 62.
81 CONTINUED: (2) 81
Sarah looks away. . • *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
This is way better than that. *
(pushing Sarah aside) *
Excuse me. I have some shopping to do. *
As she goes, surprised CHATTER overtakes the hallway.
82 INT. SAK'S - WOMENS' DEPT. - DAY 82 •*
Elle scans the racks of conservative clothes. She holds up a
cashmere twinset and wrinkles her nose, but throws it over
her arm anyway.
83 INT. NORDSTROM'S - HANDBAGS - DAY - LATER 83
Elle admires a trendy handbag, but then promptly sets it down
and picks up a practical leather briefcase.
84 INT. AUSTEN, PLATT, JARET & DONOVAN - LOBBY - DAY 84
The elevator door opens and Warner and Elle emerge. Elle is
sporting her new, boring "lawyer" clothes. Warner is baffled
and impressed by her transformation.
WARNER
You look — nice.
ELLE
Thank you.
She gives him an aloof smile and walks off. Warner watches her
go. Sarah stands in the lobby. None too happy to witness this.
85 INT. AUSTEN, PLATT, JARET & DONOVAN - DAY - MOMENTS LATER 85
Donovan strides through the office, his four interns behind
him. He points as he walks.
DONOVAN
There's your office, there's the
bathroom, there's the coffee machine.
There's Gerard, Dick and1Bobby.
GERARD, smarmy and trim, DICK, short and bald, and BOBBY,
black and bespectacled, wave as the interns pass by.
DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
They're the other associates on the case.
Ask them all your stupid questions, save
the smart ones for me.
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 63.
Ratings
Scene 19 - The Brooke Windham Case
Professor Donovan opens his briefcase as Elle, Sarah, Enid
and Warner hang on his every word.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
We're defending Brooke Windham, whose
very wealthy husband was found shot to
death in their Beacon Hill mansion.
SARAH
Gold digger?
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You'd think so, since the stiff was
sixty, but she was rich on her own. Some
kind of fitness empire. You can buy her
exercise tapes on infomercials.
Elle frowns.
ELLE
Wait a minute — are we talking about
Brooke Daniels?
Donovan checks his papers.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Maiden name—Daniels.
(looking up)
You know her?
ELLE
She was a Delta Gamma! Not in my pledge
class or anything — she graduated ,five
years ahead of me. But I used to take her
class at the LA Sports Club. She's
amazing!
The others looks at each other and roll their eyes.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Amazing how?
ELLE
She could make you drop three pounds in
one class. She's completely gifted!
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Well, in all likelihood, she's completely
guilty as well. She was seen standing
over her husband's dead body.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) .64 .
86 CONTINUED: 86
WARNER
By who?
SARAH
(correcting him)
Whom?
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
His twenty-seven year old daughter and
the pool boy.
ELLE
Maybe she found him like that.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
That's the story she'll be telling the
jury. We just have to prove it.
Emmett walks in and sits.
EMMETT
Sorry I ' m late.
Elle looks at him, confused.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
This is Emmett Kerrigan, another associate. *
Top three in his class and former editor of
Harvard Law Review. You've probably seen *
him lurking around campus doing my research.
EMMETT *
Or napping on the quad. . *
Elle smiles at him. He smiles back. Almost shy.
WARNER
(to Donovan)
What about the murder weapon?
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
The gun is missing. The coroner said
he'd been dead thirty minutes dead when
the cops arrived — giving Brooke plenty
of time to stash it.
ELLE
There's no way Brooke could've done this -
- exercise gives you endorphins,
endorphins make you happy — happy people
don't kill their husbands!
Sarah and Enid snort.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 65.
86 CONTINUED: (2) 86
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You don't really believe she's innocent?
ELLE
Of course, I do!
Emmett looks at her.
EMMETT
Then we may actually have a case.
He looks over at Donovan, who's not so sure.
87 EXT. BOSTON JAIL - DAY . • ' . ' . 87
Grey and imposing.
Ratings
Scene 20 - Brooke's Alibi
Donovan sits at a long table, next to BROOKE, a pretty 26-
.year-old blonde with a perfect body and a sad face. The
interns and associates sit at the far end of the table taking
notes. A cop stands guard at the door.
DONOVAN
What alibi?
' • . . '
BROOKE
I can't tell you.
' DONOVAN
You understand you're on trial for
murder ?
BROOKE
I didn't do it! I walked in, saw my
husband lying on the floor, bent down to
check his heart, screamed my head off and
Chutney and Enrique ran inside.
DONOVAN
Where they saw you standing over the body
covered in his blood.
She glares at him.
BROOKE
Why would I kill my husband?
DONOVAN
Insurance? A love affair? Pure
unadulterated hatred? Believe me, the DA
will come up with plenty of reasons.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 66.
88 CONTINUED: 8E
BROOKE
I l ov ed h im !
DONOVAN
He was thirty-four years older than you.
That doesn't sound so good to a jury.
Now she's pissed.
BROOKE
Then show them a picture of his cock.
They might put a few things together.
Everyone stiffens except for Ell.e, who laughs out loud.
DONOVAN , .
Brooke, I believe you. But a jury is
gonna want an alibi.
BROOKE
I can't give you that. And if you put me
on the stand, I'll lie.
Donovan takes a moment to look at her like she's an idiot.
DONOVAN
Were you with another man?
BROOKE
Go to hell.
DONOVAN
I'll take that as a no.
BROOKE
Are we done for today?
DONOVAN
I believe we are.
He stands. As do his minions. As they file out, Brooke sees
Elle.
BROOKE
Hey — I know you.
Elle perks up.
ELLE
I ' m a Delta Gamma and I ' m a huge fan of
yours!
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) .67.
88 CONTINUED: (2) 8£
BROOKE
You took my class in LA. You had the
best high kick I've ever seen. Are you
one of my lawyers?
ELLE
Sort of.
Brooke looks at Elle as if she's her savior.
BROOKE
Well, thank God one of you has a brain.
Ratings
Scene 21 - The Bend and Snap
Rufus sleeps happily on the floor. Elle sits in front of . ' *
Paulette, nails in the soapy water.
ELLE
I feel so bad for her. I mean, she's in
jail! And she's innocent. But I ' m the
only one who believes her. Donovan
totally thinks she's guilty.
. PAULETTE
That's because men are big, fat retards
who don't — Oh, my God... *
ON THE DOOR
The UPS GUY stands in the doorway with a package, sun *
streaming in around him. *
UPS GUY
Afternoon, ladies.
ON ELLE AND PAULETTE *
PAULETTE *
It's him! *
Paulette smooths down her hair. *
ELLE ' *
It's who? *
She turns to look as we go to — *
BUTT-CAM — CLOSE ON the crisp brown shorts of a regulation *
UPS uniform, as they stretch across the taut, muscular *
buttocks of UPS GUY, as he strides through the shop. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 68.
89 CONTINUED: 89
When the butt stops moving, we WIDEN to reveal the UPS Guy *
now standing in front of Elle and Paulette. *
UPS GUY *
I've got a package. *
Elle turns to Paulette, eyes wide. *
ELLE *
(agreeing) *
He's got a package. • *
Paulette is frozen. Blushing and nervous. *
UPS GUY *
How ya doin' today? . *
PAULETTE . •*
Fine? *
He waits for her to sign. She remains frozen. Elle takes *
the pen and signs for her, trying to help. .*
UPS Guy smiles kindly at Paulette and heads out. *
UPS GUY .*
Take it easy. *•
Paulette watches him go, hand over her heart. Elle looks at *
her, concerned. , *
ELLE
So, this is the only interaction you two *
have ever had?
PAULETTE
No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of
"Fine".
ELLE
Have you ever considered asking him if
he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a
neck massage?
• ' . ' • • . ' ' *
PAULETTE
What's the point?
(matter of factly)
Look at me.
ELLE
I am. And I'm looking at a beautiful,
fabulous, sexy woman.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) • . 6 9.
89 CONTINUED: (2) 89
Paulette snorts. *
PAULETTE *
Good one. *
ELLE *
Trust'me. You've got the equipment, you *
just need to read the manual. *
Elle stands. , *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
I ' m going to.show you a little maneuver
my mother taught me when I was in junior
high. In my experience, it has a 98%
success rate in getting a man's attention
and when used appropriately—an 83% *
rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The HAIRSTYLISTS and CLIENTS listen, intrigued. .*
ELLE (CONT'D) *
(continuing)
It's called the "Bend & Snap".
(acting)
"Oh, look! There's something on the
floor that I need to pick up!" Bend... *
She slowly BENDS down, as if to pick up something, sticking *
out her tush, knee cocked. She slids her hand down her *
cocked leg until her hand touches the floor and she SNAPS *
back up, boobs a'bouncing.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And snap! Now you try.
Paulette stands up repeating the maneuver. *
PAULETTE
Bend...and snap!
It 's a spastic version of what Elle just did. *
ELLE
Good. Now this time, put a little arch in
your back and maybe get your footing more *
solid.
Paulette does it again. This time, getting it right. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 70.
89 CONTINUED: ( 3 ) 89
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Perfect!
A HAIR CLIENT walks over, head full of curlers. *
HAIR CLIENT *
Like this? . *
She tries. *
ELLE *
Good. *
She adjusts her like a yoga instructor would. *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
But cock that knee. *
ANOTHER CLIENT calls over. *
ANOTHER CLIENT *
Am I doing it right? *
Elle walks over to her. *
ELLE *
More snap, less bend. *
She turns to the rest of the clients. *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
C'mon — everyone try! *
Clients hop up out of their chairs as someone reaches over *
and cranks the transistor radio, blaring "BRICK HOUSE" by the *
Commodores. *
All the clients and technicians, no matter what their age, or *
how many foils are in there hair, are up and doing the "Bend *
& Snap", repeating the mantra as they do.
Elle walks around them, continuing to adjust them. *
ELLE (CONT'D) *
Now everyone together. *
They all bend in unison — going down on "Brick" — *
EVERYONE
Bend —
And snapping back up — on "House" . *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) . 7 1 .
89 CONTINUED: ( 4 ) 89
EVERYONE (CONT'D) *
(continuing)
And snap !
The frivolity continues as the roomful of ladies perfect the *
maneuver . . *
MAURICE, a male hair-dresser, comes out of the back room, *
mixing a bowl of bleach as he walks. He stops when he spots *
the activity. . *
MAURICE *
Oh, my God! The Bend & Snap! *
(to an old lady) *
Works every time... *
Ratings
Scene 22 - Interviews and Theories
CHUTNEY, 27, curly-haired and bitter, sits in front of *
Donovan, the FEMALE DA, the associates, the interns and a
court .reporter, as she's interviewed.
CHUTNEY
I got out of the shower," walked
downstairs, saw her standing over my
father, and called the police.
DONOVAN
Did she have a weapon in her hand?
CHUTNEY
No.
DONOVAN
Was there any reason for you to believe
she had discarded a weapon?
CHUTNEY
Uh, yeah, because the bitch shot him.
DONOVAN
Was there any evidence that Mrs . Windham
shot him?
CHUTNEY
(duh)
His dead body with a bullet in it. .
91 INT. AUSTEN, PLATT, JARET & DONOVAN-CONFERENCE ROOM-LATER 91
ENRIQUE, 25, Latino and hunky as hell, sits in the seat that
Chutney has vacated.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 72.
91 aONTINUED: 91
DONOVAN
What did you see when you entered the
house?
ENRIQUE
I saw Mrs. Windham standing over the body
of Mr. Windham.
DONOVAN
Was she carrying a weapon?
• ENRIQUE
No, she was crying her eyes out.
Donovan smiles.
DONOVAN
So she was distraught that her husband
was dead?
ENRIQUE
Oh, yes. Mrs. Windham is the most sweet,
wonderful woman I know. I have loved her
since the day she hired me. She could
never do something this awful. I know
this because we are very close.
The others shift uncomfortably, then look at each other. Then.,
back at Enrique and his shiny, unbuttoned-to-show-his-pecs
shirt. The DA smiles.
92 INT. STEAKHOUSE - NIGHT .9.2
Donovan, the interns, and associates sit at a large table.
GERARD
She's screwing the pool boy.
Elle gasps and makes a face.
ELLE
There is no way a Delta Gamma would sleep
with a man in a shiny shirt. Warner,
back me up here.
Warner shrugs, embarrassed. Sarah looks at Donovan.
SARAH
I hate to agree ~ but I don't see the
two of them actually —
(wrinkling her nose)
— doing it.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 73.
92 CONTINUED: 92
ENID
Women like that will screw anything.
ELLE
So, because she's beautiful and has a good *
body, she's easy? What book of feminist *
theory did you read iiiai in, Enid? *
Emmett jumps in before war breaks out. *
EMMETT
Okay, if Brooke didn't kill the guy, who did?
ELLE
My money's on the angry daughter or the
ex-wife.
DONOVAN
Chutney has a trust fund. She didn't
need the insurance payoff or the
inheritance.
BOBBY
What about her mother?
DONOVAN
Covered. She was in Aspen at the time.
Ten people saw her downing cosmopolitans
at the Caribou Club.
ELLE
All I know is— it's not Brooke.
DONOVAN
That's touching, Elle, but we need an
alibi.
Elle thinks about this.
93 INT. BOSTON JAIL - LOBBY - DAY ' 93 *
A—nervous Elle stands in front of the burly CHECK-IN GUARD..
She holds a basket of goodies.
ELLE
I ' m here to see Brooke Wi'ndham.
GUARD
Licensed attorney or family member?
ELLE
Uh — family.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 74.
93 CONTINUED: 93
GUARD
Relation?
ELLE
I ' m her sister.
GUARD
Name?
ELLE
Delta. Gamma.
He makes a note and buzzes her in. '
Ratings
Scene 23 - The Confession
Elle sits at a conference table with her basket. A door
opens and a female guard brings Brooke into the room. Wearing
a horribly tacky orange jumpsuit.
ELLE
Are you okay? You look so sad...and so
. orange.
BROOKE
I ' m glad it's you and not Donovan.
. ELLE
He means well. He's really brilliant and
all.
Brooke sits, not looking convinced.
BROOKE
He better be, for what I ' m paying him.
Elle pushes her basket forward.
ELLE
I brought you some necessities. Pink
sheets. Aromatherapy candles. Loofah.
And The Bible.
She holds up a "Cosmopolitan".
BROOKE
You're an angel.
Elle squirms in her seat.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 75.
94 CONTINUED: 94
ELLE
But I have to tell you the real reason
I ' m here. Professor Donovan says we
really, really need your alibi.
Brooke tears up.
BROOKE
Elle, I can't. You don't understand.
ELLE
Who could better understand than me?
Brooke dabs her eyes with a corner of the pink Ralph Lauren
sheets.
BROOKE
It's so shameful...
ELLE
Whatever it is — it could save you.
BROOKE
That's just it — it would ruin me!
ELLE
How?
Brooke composes herself. Takes a deep breath. Looks at Elle.
BROOKE
I have made my fortune on my ability to
teach women how to perfect their bodies
with the Brooke's Butt Buster workout.
ELLE
I know! You helped me go from a six to a
four!
Brooke starts to cry again.
BROOKE
On the day of Heyworth's murder, I was —
She snorts back a sob.
BROOKE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
— getting liposuction.
Elle gasps.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 76.
94 CONTINUED: (2) 94
ELLE
No!
BROOKE
(completely shamed)
I ' m a fraud! But it's not like normal
people can have this ass! If my fans
knew, I ' d lose everything. I've already
lost my husband. I rather be in jail
then lose my reputation!
Elle hugs her to her chest, consoling her.
ELLE
Your secret is safe with me.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Sisterhood vs Professionalism
The associates and interns sit at a table piled high with
research, as Donovan goes over his notes.
DONOVAN
.. We've got two interviews tomorrow that
Dick and Bobby are gonna handle, and the
ex-wife in an hour.
He looks up.
DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Sarah, can you grab me some coffee?
Sarah rises, and fetches the coffee from the side table.
DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And according to this communique from the
prison, our client apparently had a visit
from her sister? A Miss Delta Gamma —
He looks at Elle.
DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Anyone you know?
Elle looks up, caught. The others looks at her.
ELLE
I went to get her alibi.
Emmett looks over, surprised.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 77,
95 CONTINUED: 95
DONOVAN
Did you get it?
ELLE
Yes. But I can't tell you what it is.
The others can't believe this.
DONOVAN
Why the hell not?
' ELLE
I promised her I ' d keep it secret. I
can't break the bonds of sisterhood!
Now he's pissed.
DONOVAN
Fuck sisterhood. This is a murder trial,
not some scandal at the sorority house.
I want the alibi.
Sarah sets Donovan's coffee down. Watching to see what Elle
will do.
ELLE
I can't give it to you. All I can tell
you is that she's innocent.
An ASSISTANT pokes her head in the room.
ASSISTANT
Mr. Donovan? Mrs. Windham Vandermark is
on line two.
Donovan rises, still annoyed.
DONOVAN
Someone reason with her while I take
this.
He walks out. The others look at Elle.
BOBBY
Are you crazy? Tell him the alibi.
ELLE
, No!
DICK
We're gonna lose the case if you don't.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 78.
95 CONTINUED: (2) 95
ELLE
Then we're not very good lawyers.
Emmett hides a smile. Warner leans over to Elle. Sarah is
nearby, listening. •
WARNER
(quietly)
If you tell him, you'll probably make
summer associate. Who cares.about Brooke?
Think about yourself.
ELLE
I gave her my word, Warner.
Sarah watches — seeing both Warner and Elle in a different
light.
Donovan storms back in.
DONOVAN
The ex-wife seems to be unconcerned with
the fact that her interview is today.
She's at a spa in the Berkshires. *
GERARD
A spa?
(to Elle)
Isn't that like, your Mother-Ship?
Elle shrugs and looks at Donovan.
ELLE .
I can go if you want.
ENID
Why you?
GERARD
(to Enid)
Have you ever been to a spa?
ENID
And subscribe to the doctrine of self-
hatred imposed upon my gender by male *
delusions of the way women are supposed
to look? *
(beat) .*
Twice. *
Donovan motions toward Elle. Then looks at Emmett with a *
pointed "Get the alibi" look.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 79.
95 CONTINUED: (3) 95
DONOVAN
Go with her.
Ratings
Scene 25 - Spa Day Investigation
Emmett drives, Elle is shotgun.
ELLE
Explain to me why you're so anti- Brooke.
EMMETT
Uh, for starters, she won'-t give us an
alibi —
ELLE
Aside from that.
EMMETT
She's completely untrustworthy.
ELLE
Why?
EMMETT
She married an old man, she's made a
living on telling women they're too fat,
she hawks her crap on the Home Shopping
Network...
ELLE
A) He's an old man with a really big
penis. B) She never told me I was fat.
And C) Victoria Principal sells on that
network.
EMMETT
And D) Brooke is obviously hiding
something.
ELLE
But maybe it's not what you think.
EMMETT
But maybe it is— .
They're quiet for a moment. She looks at him.
ELLE
You're kind of being a butt-head right
now.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 80.
96 CONTINUED: 96
EMMETT
(amused)
How do you figure?
ELLE
Because people aren't always what they
seem to be and you refuse to see that.
Have a little faith. You might be
surprised.
They're quiet again while he thinks about this. He looks
over at her.
EMMETT
I can't believe you called me a butt-
head. No one's called me a butt-head
since ninth grade.
ELLE
Maybe not to your face...
She gives him a teasing smile. He smiles back at her,
shaking his head.
97 INT. SPA - LOBBY - DAY 97
Elle and Emmett are at the desk.
ELLE
We have two o'clock massages. Kerrigan
and Woods.
DESK CLERK
Go on back. .
Elle starts to go, then stops.
ELLE
Oh, and my friend Katherine Windham
Vandermark is here somewhere and I ' m
supposed to meet her. for a Pilates class.
Do you have her schedule?
DESK CLERK
(checking)
She's in the mud room until four.
Elle smiles her thanks and walks off with Emmett.
EMMETT
Damn. We can't see her for an hour?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 81.
97 CONTINUED: 97
ELLE
No, she can't move for an hour.
She grabs his arm and pulls him down the hall.
98 INT. SPA - MUD ROOM - DAY 98 *
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK, late 40s, brunette, East Coast hoity- *
toity — lies on a table like a corpse, stiff with mud, *
cucumbers over her eyes. Elle and Emmett poke their heads in.
ELLE
Mrs. Windham Vandermark?
EMMETT
We're here from Austen, Platt, Jaret &
Donovan --
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
So, you found me.
Emmett looks at Elle.
EMMETT
(sotto)
She's naked.
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
I ' m covered in very expensive Egyptian
mud ••— hardly naked.
ELLE
(to Emmett)
I'll cover her — parts.
Elle settles on three washcloths, strategically placed.
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
So, I hear the tart from California shot - *
Heyworth. *
EMMETT
Well, that's what we're trying to prove
didn't happen. Do you have any reason to
believe it did?
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
I never met the woman, but from what my
daughter tells me, she's quite the cun—
ELLE
(interrupting her)
She's not!
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 82.
98 CONTINUED: 98
EMMETT
Did your daughter ever say anything to
you about Brooke and Heyworth's
relationship?
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
Aside from the fact that he found her on *
an infomercial? She said they humped like *
gorillas . Chutney could hear them all
the way in the pool house.
EMMETT
I ' m sure that was very awkward for
Chutney.
(sotto)
Much as it is for me, hearing you tell
about it.
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
But I guess it wasn't enough for Brooke.
EMMETT
Why do you say that?
MRS . WINDHAM VANDERMARK
Haven't you seen the cabana boy?
ELLE
(uneasy)
Yes. ...
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
Like I said, I've never met Brooke, but I
have seen her from a distance. When I ' d
come over to pick up the alimony check
that Heyworth forgot to mail every month,
she'd be out by the pool, with Mr. Hot
Pants hovering over her with some pink
drink.
EMMETT
Hovering?
MRS . WINDHAM VANDERMARK
I didn't stick around long enough to
watch him stick his swizzle stick in her
mouth, but I ' d bet my next check that
that ' s where he was about to put it .
Ratings
Scene 26 - The Blonde Legal Defense Fund
Emmett drives, raving.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 83.
99 CONTINUED: 99
EMMETT
How can you still believe she's innocent?
ELLE
You're going to trust the word of a woman
who named her child after a condiment?
She's ly-ing.
EMMETT
And you know this for a fact?
' ELLE
Did you see the icky black color of her
hair?
EMMETT
So?
ELLE
I never trust a woman who's not blonde.
Except for my friend Serena, but that's
only because she's a blonde at heart.
That's the whole reason I ' m starting the
Blonde Legal Defense Fund.
He looks at her and laughs.
EMMETT
The what?
ELLE
Blondes are discriminated against
worldwide! Brooke's a blonde, and people
are saying she's sleeping with the cheesy
pool boy and shooting her husband. If
she was a mousy brunette, it would be,
"Oh, the poor widow."
EMMETT
You're serious?
She's fired up now.
ELLE
You should see the way I ' m treated in
class! I'm a complete source of mockery.
This is why the Blonde Legal Defense Fund
is needed.
He goes along with it, won over by her enthusiasm.
EMMETT
Okay, how would it work?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 84.
99 CONTINUED: (2) 99
ELLE
It would be a full-service law firm, by
and for blondes, providing positive
blonde role models and community outreach
in high blonde areas. I mean, think
about it — name one blonde intellectual
role model.
EMMETT
— I can't.
ELLE
That is a direct result of anti- blonde
discrimination!
EMMETT
Wait — Hilary Clinton.
ELLE
If she were a true blonde, she would've
left the cheating bastard. Blondes don't
let their husbands get fellated by
brunettes and live to tell about it.
Emmett frowns.
EMM ETT
. In that case, maybe Heyworth got -—
fellated —by a brunette and Brooke
caught him.
ELLE
Exactly how much gorilla sex do you think
a sixty-year-old man can take? •.
EMMETT
That's not really a topic that keeps me
up at night — but maybe it should.
Elle digs in her purse.
ELLE
Speaking of that •— I bought you some
seaweed cream while we were at the spa.
She hands it to him. He keeps his hands on the wheel, not
taking it.
EMMETT
What the hell is that for?
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 85.
99 CONTINUED: (3) 99
ELLE
The bags under your eyes. You're an
attractive man, but you need to take
better care of yourself.
EMMETT
I don't --
(gesturing to the cream)
Do that stuff.
ELLE
Well, you should —. I f you look good, you • *
feel good and if you feel good, you *
project joy into the world. *
EMMETT *
Projecting joy is not my job.
ELLE
. (sighing)
Fine. Sorry I brought it up.
She puts the cream back in her purse. They ride in silence
for a moment. Then —
EMMETT
You really think I ' m attractive?
ELLE
For a butt-head? Yes.
She smiles at him. .
Ratings
Scene 27 - Elle defends Dorky David and attends court
Elle walks down the sidewalk to her dorm, approaching Dorky *
David as he tries to ask out a FRESHMAN GIRL who thinks she's
a lot cuter than she actually is. She stands with her *
freshman friends. *
- DORKY DAVID
So — I called your room last night. *
FRESHMAN GIRL
(cold) ' *
I heard. .*
DORKY DAVID *
I was thinking maybe we could go out *
sometime. *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 86.
100 CONTINUED: 100
FRESHMAN GIRL *
Uh, n o . . . you're a dork. *
turns back to her FRIENDS who all laugh at him. Elle *
winces as she passes. *
DORKY DAVID
(hopeful)
I ' m in law school —
The Freshman Girl turns back to him. *
FRESHMAN GIRL
Look — I ' m not going out with you. I *
can't believe you'd even ask. Girls like *
me don't go out with losers like you. *
Her friends snicker. Elle stops at this and sighs, *
acknowledging to herself that she has to help this guy. She *
turns and marches back, SLAPPING Dorky David across the face. *
Dorky David is stunned, as is the Freshman Girl. *
ELLE *
(upset)
Why didn't you call me?
DORKY DAVID
What?
ELLE
We spend a beautiful night together and
then I never hear from you again?
DORKY DAVID
I — uh —
Elle signals with her eyes for him to go along with it.
DORKY DAVID (CONT'D)
(continuing)
I'm sorry?
ELLE
For what? Breaking my heart or ruining sex for me *
with any other man? *
DORKY DAVID
Uh — both?
ELLE
Forget it. I've already spent too many
hours crying over you.
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 87.
100 CONTINUED: ( 2 ) 100
She rushes off. Dorky David and the Freshman Girl and her *
friends watch Elle go. After a moment, the girl turns to David.
FRESHMAN GIRL
So, urn, when did you wanna go out?
ANOTHER GIRL *
I ' m free on Friday. *
Walking away, Elle hears this and smiles.
101 EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY 101
People ascend the wide courthouse steps.
BAILIFF (O.S.)
The first district court is now in session.
The honorable Judge William R. Ptak presiding.
102 INT. COURTROOM - DAY .102
The DA grills Mrs. Windham Vandermark.
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
And what was the defendant doing?
MRS. WINDHAM VANDERMARK
Sitting next to the pool topless, while
the Latin boy handed her a drink.
CUT TO:
103 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 103
DA Rafferty continues her grilling.
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
And where was she exactly?
This time — Chutney is on the stand.
CHUTNEY
Standing over my father's dead body.
CUT TO:
104 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 104
CLOSE ON a tiny Speedo thong . *
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY (O.S.)
Mr. Salvatore, can you tell us what this *
is? *
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 88.
104 CONTINUED: 104
We PULL BACK to reveal that the DA is holding it up as she *
questions Enrique. *
ENRIQUE
My uniform.
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
This is the uniform that Mrs. Windham
asked you to wear while cleaning her
pool?
ENRIQUE
Yes.
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
And are you or are you not, having an
affair with Brooke Windham?
Enrique shifts in his seat.
ENRIQUE
Define affair.
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
Have you inserted your genitalia into
hers?
DONOVAN
Objection —
DA JOYCE RAFFERTY
(to Enrique)
Have you and Mrs. Windham had sexual
relations?
ENRIQUE
Yes! Okay? Yes!
The courtroom gasps. Elle looks over at Brooke, who's
shaking her head, outraged.
105 INT. COURTROOM - MOMENTS LATER 105
Everyone files out. As Brooke is being led away, she turns *
to Elle. *
BROOKE
I'm not having an affair with Enrique — *
you know a Delta Gamma would never sleep
with a man who wears a thong! I just
liked watching him bend over to clean the
filter —
(CONTINUED)
9/1/2000 Revision (Blue) 89.
105 CONTINUED: 105
ELLE
I believe you! Don't worry.
Brooke is taken away.