Scene
1 -
Disapproval at Devonte and Dakota's Wedding
EXT. WEDDING VENUE-DAY
DEVONTE, a twinkish handsome feminine dark-skinned male in
his mid 20's, is getting married to DAKOTA, a tall burly
rugged light-skinned biracial male in his early 30's with a
lumbersexual vibe. The wedding venue is elaborately decorated
and both men look good. Devonte's family is behind not
looking pleased. There's not many people on Dakota's family's
side of the aisle.
REVEREND
Do you both promise to love, honor,
cherish, support and nurture one
another til death do you part?
Devonte looks at his family and then back at Dakota.
DEVONTE AND DAKOTA
I do!
REVEREND
It is with the power vested in me that
I now pronounce you both husbands!
Devonte and Dakota kiss. Most of the crowd applauds.
Devonte's family sans his father does not.
INT. RECEPTION VENUE-NIGHT
Devonte and Dakota are sharing their first dance as his
sisters KALINA, a mid 30's sharply dressed Black female and
DEMETRIA an early 30's ghettofabulous Black female, watch
from the sidelines with drinks in hand.
KALINA
I can't believe Devonte married that
scuzzy little white boy!
DEMETRIA
Y'know he always had a thing for
tragic mulattoes. Remember that one
sickly little ginger boy he was
sleeping with?
KALINA
Blake or something right? Whatever
happened to him?
DEMETRIA
No clue.
KALINA
And then there was that rapper, the
one who used to be in a wheelchair!
What was his name?
2.
DEMETRIA
Audrey, I think.
KALINA
Who is this boy anyway? Is he a
Proctor? You know they're obsessed
with keeping the family light!
DEMETRIA
Chile the Proctors ain't got no money!
KALINA
Neither does he, it tracks! I don't
know why Dev couldn't have picked
someone of means! If you're going to
be take pink penis, can it at least be
a wealthy one?
DEMETRIA
He probably be letting that white boy
do all kinds of weird race shit in the
bedroom!
KALINA
It's not gonna last! Two years in and
he'll be calling me to handle the
divorce!
Devonte and Dakota finish dancing and everyone applauds.
Kalina and Demetria half-heartedly clap.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
New Job, New City: A Family's Dilemma
INT. COLORADO KITCHEN-NIGHT
TEN YEARS LATER
Devonte is trying to feed his twin 2-year-old sons PEABO and
BRYSON while his 7-year-old daughter JA'NIAH is too
preoccupied with her tablet.
DEVONTE
Ja'Niah Latrice Eastman, you got one
'mo 'gain for me to tell you wrap it
up with the tablet!
JA'NIAH
Hold on, almost done!
Devonte snatches it from her.
JA'NIAH
Hey!
DEVONTE
You're done now!
JA'NIAH
I almost beat that level!
3.
DEVONTE
Keep it up and that's not the only
thing getting beat.
Dakota enters.
DAKOTA
Sup' kinfolk!
Dakota kisses Devonte.
DAKOTA
You made fried chicken again...
Dakota kisses Devonte again.
DAKOTA
And candied yams...
Dakota kisses him one last time.
DAKOTA
And potato salad! Is this your way of
telling me you're having an affair?
DEVONTE
No, that'd be a much more elaborate
meal.
Ja'Niah runs over to Dakota and hugs him.
JA'NIAH
Papa's being a menace! He's worst than
the Bolsheviks after the deposing of
the Romanovs!
Devonte and Dakota stare at Ja'Niah with confusion.
JA'NIAH
It was a history game.
Ja'Niah rolls her eyes and toys around with her dinner.
DEVONTE
How was work bae?
DAKOTA
Pretty tight, no complaints.
DEVONTE
Nothing new to report?
DAKOTA
Not off the top of my head.
DEVONTE
No updates at all?
4.
Dakota tries to think then gasps.
DAKOTA
Aw shit! Did I forget your birthday
again?
DEVONTE
God you're bad at this! I have news!
[beat] Also, it's August.
Dakota stares at Devonte blankly.
DEVONTE
My birthday is in March.
DAKOTA
I knew that!
DEVONTE
Sure [beat] Guess what happened!
DAKOTA
The kids aren't dead and the house
isn't burned down, so I'm guessing
it's good?
DEVONTE
What have I been talking about for the
past few weeks Dakota?
DAKOTA
I thought we agreed we wouldn't
discuss S-E-X around the kids!
JA'NIAH
I'm spelling Bee champ two years in a
row. Also, play some music or
something.
DEVONTE
Dakota, I got the job!
DAKOTA
Job? What job?
DEVONTE
When I speak, what do you hear? Jazz
music, birds chirping?
DAKOTA
What's the job Devonte?
DEVONTE
I'm the new head writer for 11 Alive
Atlanta!
DAKOTA
The news job? Why didn't you tell me
5.
it was the one that could wipe out all
our credit card debt!
DEVONTE
I assumed you listened when I spoke.
DAKOTA
See what assuming gets you?
Dakota hugs Devonte and kisses him.
DAKOTA
Baby I'm so happy for you!
DEVONTE
Me too! We leave in two weeks!
DAKOTA AND JA'NIAH
What?
JA'NIAH
You didn't say we were moving!
DAKOTA
You said you could work from home!
JA'NIAH
You didn't mention me having to leave
all of my friends!
DAKOTA
I'm two mountains away from climbing
every 49'er in Colorado! How could you
take this away from me?
DEVONTE
I will be making enough money that we
could both buy new friends and
probably a mountain! Besides, we'll
finally be close to family!
DAKOTA
We have family here!
DEVONTE
It's your dad and your gaggle of half-
siblings you never speak to!
JA'NIAH
Don't forget great aunt Lucy with the
lazy eye who always smells like vodka
and mothballs.
DEVONTE
I was trying to forget. We had to buy
a new couch last time she slept over.
6.
DAKOTA
Is there no way you could do a hybrid
type of thing? Like you fly in every
month but mostly work from home?
Ja'Niah steals her tablet back while her parents aren't
looking.
DEVONTE
Why are you so against this?
DAKOTA
Is it insane I'm not game to move our
entire lives halfway across the
country? Why wouldn't you consult me
on this first?
DEVONTE
I've been consulting you all week! But
apparently, whatever roided up white
boys kicking a hockey puck around was
more important!
DAKOTA
Hey! A lot of those guys are half-
Asian!
DEVONTE
Bae, this is a great move for us!
We'll finally have financial
stability! You won't have to work as
hard! We can stop paying for daycare
because my mom will take care of the
kids! This is a good thing!
DAKOTA
Your mom hates me.
DEVONTE
She loves you.
DAKOTA
She called me 'a light bright succubus
leading my son down the road to ruin!'
DEVONTE
She said that to all the guys I've
dated! We're married now, we're three
kids in. She'll cope. My dad likes
you.
DAKOTA
He's always making fun of me!
DEVONTE
He's just cracking on you! Lighten up!
7.
DAKOTA
We played Spades at the wedding
reception and he called me a tragic
mulatto who needed his rank stripped
cause I 'reneged', whatever that is!
DEVONTE
Damn you reneged? I would've called
you worse!
DAKOTA
Your parents hate me. Your siblings
think I'm a square white boy even
though I'm a quarter Black. Your
friends think you married down and
your nephews keep trying to beat me
up!
DEVONTE
Do you fight back?
DAKOTA
Dev, do we have to do this? I like my
life here! So do the kids!
JA'NIAH
Did you know that Atlanta has the
highest concentration of Black wealth
in the country? [gasps] I could marry
into money there!
DEVONTE
You're seven years old.
JA'NIAH
Think ahead! I don't have that many
skills!
Dakota goes to the fridge and pulls out a beer.
DAKOTA
Do they even have solid microbreweries
there?
DEVONTE
I said we're moving to Atlanta, not
Portland. We drink real liquor in the
A! Besides if you do this for me, I'll
do that one roleplay where...
Devonte whispers something in Dakota's ear that gets the
later very excited.
DAKOTA
Even tonight, like right now?
DEVONTE
Yes, if you support me in this.
8.
Dakota starts dragging Devonte out of the room.
DAKOTA
Ja'Niah watch your brothers!
JA'NIAH
Check your messages. I'm sending you a
playlist, a loud playlist.
Dakota and Devonte exit the room giddily.
Genres:
["Comedy","Family Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
Intimate Conversation on Race and Identity
INT. COLORADO MASTER BEDROOM-NIGHT
Dakota and Devonte are in the middle of sex. Devonte is
biting and scratching all over Dakota as the burly man pounds
the femboy with all he's got.
DEVONTE
Fuck my tight Black pussy daddy!
DAKOTA
Are you ready for master's superior
white seed?
DEVONTE
Bleach me sir!
DAKOTA
Shit! I'm gonna...I'm gonna--
Dakota and Devonte moan in unison as they both climax and
then fall next to each other. They breathe heavily while
staring at the ceiling as they calm down.
DAKOTA
The things you can do once properly
motivated!
DEVONTE
You bring out the wild side in me!
Devonte kisses Dakota and cuddles up next to him.
DAKOTA
Can you channel that energy into a
sandwich or some fried eggs?
DEVONTE
Do I look like your maid whore?
DEVONTE
The bite marks on my neck confirm the
whore part.
Devonte turns to face Dakota.
DEVONTE
I really want you to be excited for
9.
this move--
Dakota is about to respond.
DEVONTE
When I have clothes on!
DAKOTA
Why is this so important to you?
DEVONTE
I want the kids to be surrounded by
Blackness more.
DAKOTA
What are you talking about? There's
Black people in Denver!
DEVONTE
Bae, there's a few specks of black in
a sea of snow. I want the kids to have
a firm sense of their culture, their
history, where they come from--
DAKOTA
Why's that even matter?
DEVONTE
Because I don't want my boys to look
like Bryshawns and act like Brodys!
DAKOTA
That's so old school! What year are
you in, 1963?
DEVONTE
I know it's not important to you
because your mom was never in touch
with her Black side but--
DAKOTA
She was plenty in touch! We watched
some episodes of Martin! We went to a
Stevie Wonder concert one time! She
even made collard greens--wait no,
that was kale...
DEVONTE
Was there in any pigs feet or neck
bones in there?
DAKOTA
Why would you put meat in perfectly
good kale?
DEVONTE
My point is that since moving here
I've felt so isolated.
10.
DAKOTA
You've been here ten years and you
still haven't gotten used to it?
DEVONTE
The only reason I'm here is because
you were. You don't know what it's
like being the only Black face in a
crowd of judgmental white ones!
DAKOTA
I'm Black too Dev.
DEVONTE
But you don't look it. Your identity
depends on where you are. You can be
Jewish, Puerto Rican, Greek, Mexican
or they want you to be. I'm Black
wherever I go. I'm proud of being
Black but I'm tired of feeling like I
moved to an entirely separate country!
DAKOTA
Just because I'm light don't mean I
don't get it!
DEVONTE
Don't you ever wish you had a firmer
hold of your Black side?
DAKOTA
I'm Black so whatever I like is Black!
It's not that complicated!
DEVONTE
First off, you're toasted almond at
best.
DAKOTA
A toasted almond who smashed that ass!
DEVONTE
I didn't say I was complaining.
Secondly, if I died what would happen
to the kids? Who would shape them in
strong Black men and women?
DAKOTA
We'd be more zeroed in on you being
dead.
DEVONTE
Bae...
Dakota sits up and starts putting his robe on.
DAKOTA
I don't know! None of this stuff ever
11.
occurred to me cause it never
mattered!
DEVONTE
It matters to me, it matters to the
kids! Ja'Niah has been coming home
crying this whole week because another
girl keeps messing with her hair!
DAKOTA
Another girl? There's been others?
DEVONTE
Yes, but she doesn't like talking to
you about it.
DAKOTA
Why?
DEVONTE
Because she says 'daddy's white, he
won't get it'.
Dakota walks over to his mini-fridge and pulls out a beer and
sits back down. The weight of Devonte's words weighing on him
the whole time.
DAKOTA
She doesn't think I would understand?
DEVONTE
Why would she?
Dakota takes a big sip and then sighs.
DAKOTA
I'm in.
Devonte leaps onto Dakota and hugs.
DEVONTE
You won't regret this! I'll be making
so much money we could afford for you
to stay home with the kids!
DAKOTA
Stay at home? Like a househusband? My
father wouldn't never let me hear the
end of it!
DEVONTE
Luckily, he'll be here in Denver and
you'll be in Atlanta making sure my
dinner is warm when I get home!
DAKOTA
You want me to wear a little apron
too?
12.
Devonte starts kissing on Dakota's neck.
DEVONTE
Maybe a French maid costume!
DAKOTA
Even better: just the apron and the
stockings!
Devonte straddles Dakota.
DEVONTE
Keep the heels on!
Dakota flips Devonte over and starts kissing him back.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Erotic"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
A Tense Family Gathering: Dakota Feels Like an Outsider
EXT. EASTMAN HOME-DAY
The Eastman family is pulling up to their new home. It's a
very large mansion. Once they exit the car, Dakota and
Ja'Niah are in awe.
DEVONTE
Welcome to our new home!
JA'NIAH
We live in a mansion now?
DEVONTE
It's not a castle sweetie, it's a Neo-
Renaissance style mansionette!
DAKOTA
I'm with the kid. Any moment, Alfred's
gonna pop out and lead us to the
Batcave!
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-DAY
Large men are moving the family's furniture into the house.
It's a very spacious and opulent house. Dakota, Devonte and
the kids enter.
DAKOTA
Holy shit! How can we afford this?
DEVONTE
Bae, I told you I make enough money
now that we can live large!
DAKOTA
We're renting this rent? Please tell
me you didn't buy this!
DEVONTE
Would you relax? I know what I'm
doing!
13.
JA'NIAH
Can I go outside to explore?
DEVONTE
Go ahead.
Ja'Niah runs outside.
JA'NIAH V/O
THERE'S A POOL!
The sound of something splashing is heard.
DAKOTA
When you said you found 'a quaint
little cottage' I was envisioning
something more log cabiny!
DEVONTE
Honey my name's not Uncle Tom!
Besides, this is quaint!
DAKOTA
If you're Bill Gates!
DEVONTE
It's within our budget! Could you try
to be excited please?
The sound of two people arguing is coming from outside.
DAKOTA
Is the TV on? Why do I hear an old
couple yelling?
DEVONTE
It's my parents!
LATRICE, a full figured elegant early 70's Black woman and
JEROME, a tall solemn mid 70's Black male with a military
build, enter the house. Latrice is holding a cake dish.
LATRICE
I told you I don't have it you
jackass!
JEROME
Then where the hell is it woman?
LATRICE
I don't know and I don't care!
Latrice turns to Devonte.
LATRICE
There's my baby!
Latrice and Devonte hug.
14.
DEVONTE
Hey Mama! What are you and daddy
arguing about?
JEROME
Your mother hid the key to the liquor
cabinet!
LATRICE
I did not hide it! You can't find it
and that's cause you spend half your
days inside a bottle of Hennessy! Ever
since you retired, you've become a
lush!
JEROME
I gave 40 years of my life to this
country! If I wanna relax with a glass
of cognac while watching Bridge on the
River Kwai, that's my business!
LATRICE
Ugh you're impossible!
Latrice turns back to Devonte.
LATRICE
I brought you a cake, it's a lemon
sour cream double pound cake!
DEVONTE
That's the cake you made when I left
for college!
LATRICE
And now you're finally back!
Latrice eyes the twins.
LATRICE
There's my grandbabies!
Latrice and Devonte walk over to the twins while Dakota
approaches Jerome. His body language becomes very formal and
military-like.
DAKOTA
Morning General.
JEROME
At ease.
Dakota releases.
DAKOTA
I see you're enjoying your retirement
sir.
15.
JEROME
I'd enjoy it a lot more if I could
retire the marriage.
Dakota and Jerome share a laugh.
LATRICE
Say the word Jerome.
JEROME
Are you still in the reserves?
DAKOTA
Yes sir.
JEROME
You should come over to the house when
the other generals are over. We could
use a forth at Spades. But you pull
that shit you did at the wedding and
I'll have you dishonorably discharged!
DEVONTE
Dad...
JEROME
Just a little military humor son!
Jerome slaps Dakota on the back which turns into him slyly
caressing his muscles.
JEROME
Staying in shape I see!
DAKOTA
I try Sir. I work out two times a day,
eat clean and go mountain climbing
every weekend!
JEROME
A true outdoorsman, are you? Perhaps I
should take you out on the trail
myself, just the two of us.
Dakota briefly looks at Devonte in disbelief.
DAKOTA
I'd love that Sir! Whenever you're
down, I am!
JEROME
I'd love to go down on you any day!
Latrice rolls her eyes as Devonte looks confused.
DEVONTE
Dad stop using slang you don't
understand!
16.
Latrice's expression says this isn't the first time. Ja'Niah
enters while drying herself off.
JA'NIAH
Nana!
Ja'Niah jumps into Latrice's arms.
LATRICE
How's Nana's baby girl doing?
JA'NIAH
Tired! Daddy made us drive here!
LATRICE
You drove all the way from Denver to
Atlanta?
DAKOTA
It's two much hassle flying with the
twins. But we made a fun time out of
it, didn't we Ja'Niah?
JA'NIAH
We played 'Name That Tune' for three
hours!
DAKOTA
It was fun!
JA'NIAH
No one but you listens to alt rock!
I'm seven years old! I shouldn't even
know what that is!
DAKOTA
Speaking of which, I've got some beer
left in the car if you want some
General.
JEROME
Why didn't you lead with that? Let's
go!
LATRICE
You drank while driving?
DEVONTE
He drank while I was driving. My leg
got a hell of a massage from Tennessee
to Georgia.
Dakota and Jerome head for the door but are cut off by
Kalina.
KALINA
Oh look, it's my brother's little
buttermilk colored boyfriend!
17.
DAKOTA
Buttermilk colored husband!
KALINA
Don't remind me.
Kalina greets her brother and the kids. Jerome exits outside.
JA'NIAH
Aunt Kay, last year for Career Day I
said I wanted to be a lawyer just like
you!
KALINA
Aw how sweet! Prosecution, Defense,
Real Estate, Entertainment or--
JA'NIAH
Divorce! I've already been practicing
[lawyer voice] Your Honor, my client
is claiming alienation due to her
husband having an affair with a 19-
year-old exotic male escort!
KALINA
Atta girl! Bleed 'em dry!
DAKOTA
Maybe not encourage our daughter to
become a ruthless bloodsucker?
KALINA
Ruthless bloodsucker is on my business
card.
Kalina clicks her key fob.
KALINA
Sorry, needed to lock my new Ashton
Martin.
DEVONTE
I see business is good!
KALINA
Business is very good! I just got done
handling Senator Randolph's divorce
from his third wife. Get this: he
caught her sleeping with his son!
LATRICE
Have you seen the son? I can't blame
her!
KALINA
I'm seeing him with this week. His
divorce was finalized Friday.
18.
DAKOTA
You date your clients? Isn't that a
violation of your oath?
KALINA
I'm a lawyer, not a shrink.
Kalina lights a cigarette.
DEVONTE
Outside Kalina. You may like sounding
like you're possessed by the spirit of
Isabel Sanford, but we'd like the
kids' lungs to stay intact!
KALINA
Fine.
Kalina exits outside. Devonte's brother JAQUAN, a tall
solidly built but intimidating early 40's Black male, enters
the house. He's dressed in his police uniform.
JA'NIAH
Uncle Quan!
Ja'Niah runs over to him and leaps into his arms.
JAQUAN
How's my little delinquent?
JA'NIAH
I'm good. Did you bust any drug rings
or arrest any mob bosses today?
JAQUAN
Not yet but the day is young!
JaQuan crosses to Devonte and they hug.
JAQUAN
Good to have you back little bro!
DEVONTE
It's good to be back! We're all so
excited, especially Dakota!
DAKOTA
Yeah, I'm stoked.
JaQuan zeroes in on the twins.
JAQUAN
The boys look healthy. How've you been
compensating for the lack of bosoms?
DAKOTA
Same way I have all my life.
19.
JaQuan looks at Dakota deadpan.
DAKOTA
We've been buying breast milk.
LATRICE
You should do what we did, give 'em
grits bottles!
DAKOTA
Grits bottles?
LATRICE
Yes! I used to cook up a pot of grits
then toss in some milk, butter and
sugar then give it to the kids!
Instead of baby food, I gave 'em
creamed collard greens and sweet
potato pie filling!
DEVONTE
This is why we are all pre-diabetic by
age 4.
JaQuan turns to Dakota.
JAQUAN
How have you been disciplining the
boys?
DAKOTA
They're two years old!
JAQUAN
It's never too late to instill a
fearful respect into a child! That's
the problem with young Black men
today, no proper home training! You
should see how these kids talk to law
enforcement! No respect, no self-
preservation! I'm nice but these white
boys with a badge? All they need is a
reason to put a bullet in a young
Black man's brain!
DAKOTA
And your solution to this is beating
them senseless before they can form
coherent sentences?
JAQUAN
I'd rather it be me doing it than a
police officer! [beat] Another police
officer!
LATRICE
That's how I raised my kids! You gotta
get to 'em before the white man does!
20.
But then again, we were always on the
road so--
DAKOTA
On the road? Like moving from base to
base?
LATRICE
The kids use to come with me on tour.
DAKOTA
On tour?
DEVONTE
JaQuan would you mind taking the twins
upstairs for a nap?
JAQUAN
Of course not! It'll give me time to
instill some ethics into them!
JaQuan picks up the twins and starts going upstairs.
JAQUAN
Once upon a time, there was a little
boy who was jaywalking...
JaQuan exits upstairs.
DAKOTA
What did you mean 'on tour' Latrice?
DEVONTE
She misspoke, it's not important!
Demetria enters like she's the Kool-Aid Man.
DEMETRIA
Hey bitch!
Demetria and Devonte run to each other and hug.
DEMETRIA
You look good chile! You been using
that leave-in conditioner I gave you,
didn't you?
DEVONTE
Girl this stuff is like crack! Look
how long Ja'Niah's hair has gotten!
DEMETRIA
Chile why her hair ain't been did?
LATRICE
I've been thinking the same thing.
21.
JA'NIAH
Cause daddy's been the one in charge
of things lately.
LATRICE
Devonte didn't I teach you better than
to let your child walk out the house
looking like an extra for Roots?
DAKOTA
She was referring to me.
DEMETRIA
She calls you daddy?
DAKOTA
Why do you expect her to call me,
massa?
Demetria gets up in Dakota's face.
DEMETRIA
Why your color redacted ass have to go
to that?
Dakota pushes her back.
DAKOTA
First off, I'm not white! Secondly,
forgive me for not knowing how to
treat hair so coarse it peeled off a
layer of my skin!
DEMETRIA
Are you calling my niece a nappy
headed hoe?
DAKOTA
Are you high?
Demetria and Dakota start shouting over one another.
DEVONTE
Ja'Niah go play outside!
JA'NIAH
But I wanna watch!
DEVONTE
I'll update you in the group text
later, just go!
Ja'Niah reluctantly exits. Devonte gets between Demetria and
Dakota right as Demetria goes for a swing. He catches her
fist.
DEVONTE
Demetria before you catch another
22.
assault charge, I suggest you simmer
down!
DEMETRIA
Fine!
Demetria backs off.
DEVONTE
Dakota, apologize.
DAKOTA
WHAT?
DEVONTE
Be a man, keep the peace. Apologize.
DAKOTA
I'm sorry you have a problem with how
I raise my kids!
DEMETRIA
Yo I'm 'bout to bust this white boy's
dome in bruh!
Kalina reenters.
KALINA
Do it. I have connections. You'll
walk.
JaQuan comes downstairs.
JAQUAN
Don't bother, they won't find a body.
The three siblings slowly close in on Dakota like sharks,
even worse like vultures waiting for him to die.
KALINA
Couldn't even find a rich white boy,
he had to go for trailer trash!
DEMETRIA
Granddaddy was probably some self-
hating nignog who knocked up the first
slack jawed Becky he could find!
JAQUAN
And look at where his gene pool ended
up: some chromosome lacking fetal
alcohol syndrome looking hunchbacked
pathetic poverty-stricken white boy!
Dakota looks genuinely hurt by their words and tears well up
in his eyes.
23.
LATRICE
Kids that's enough!
Latrice moves Dakota out of the line of fire.
LATRICE
I'm sure you'll figure out Ja'Niah's
hair before the garden party!
DAKOTA
What party?
DEVONTE
This is the first I'm hearing of it
too.
LATRICE
LaDarius and La'Shonda are throwing a
little get together in honor of the
prodigal son returning home!
DEVONTE
Is it true they bought grandma's
country cottage?
DAKOTA
Country cottage?
LATRICE
Yes, but they've made some slight
renovations.
DEVONTE
Gosh I haven't seen that place since
my Sweet 16. Do they still have
grandma's stable?
DAKOTA
Stable? You had horses?
Dakota steps and observes Devonte and his family in absolute
shock. In his face, you can see him putting together the
pieces!
DEVONTE
Technically, they were Mom Bea's. But
Cornbread took to me so well he felt
like mine!
KALINA
Remember the time we snuck Doo-Rag
into the garage to scare Pop-Pop?
DEMETRIA
It's a good thing he had more than one
Mercedes chile! I ain't never seen a
grown man poop that much on an empty
stomach!
24.
KALINA
Mother did you manage to get De'Andre
to cater or are we going to have to
settle for Wolfgang Puck again?
LATRICE
Actually, they thought it would be
cute if it was more like a cookout and
everybody brought something!
DEVONTE
How quaint! We'll be there!
Jerome reenters.
JEROME
Lattie we gotta go! The boy ran outta
booze!
LATRICE
I'll fill you in on the details later!
Latrice kisses Devonte goodbye. She turns and bumps into
Dakota and they share a very awkward hug. She exits and
JaQuan follows behind her while giving Dakota a dirty look.
KALINA
I should be going too. I need to see
if the dress I wore to the Met Gala
could be revamped for the party.
DEMETRIA
Wanna do lunch? I have some time
before I need to be on set.
KALINA
You're on.
Kalina and Demetria kiss Devonte goodbye and walk right past
Dakota and exit. Jerome slaps Dakota on the back which turns
into rubbing his shoulders.
JEROME
Good seeing you again!
DAKOTA
Really sir?
JEROME
You're one of the few normal people
left in this family!
Jerome hugs Devonte and exits.
DEVONTE
See bae? You're making progress!
Devonte wraps his arms around Dakota.
25.
DEVONTE
So, what are you making for the party?
Dakota looks at Devonte incredulously.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Confrontation over Family Wealth
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM-NIGHT
Dakota is doing some research on his computer. Devonte enters
still dressed in his suit for work. He kisses Dakota.
DEVONTE
Hey sexy, sorry I'm late.
DAKOTA
It's fine. How was work?
Devonte begins getting out of the suit and into his
sleepwear.
DEVONTE
Hectic! We've gotta produce this
special on homeless youth in the city
and we've got a week before it airs!
DAKOTA
Sounds stressful.
DEVONTE
It is. What's for dinner?
DAKOTA
I attempted to make oxtails.
DEVONTE
Are they edible this time?
DAKOTA
Close enough.
There's a long silence.
DAKOTA
Why didn't you tell me your family is
rich?
Devonte freezes as he tries to think. He attempts to play it
off casually, accented by a scoff.
DEVONTE
We're not rich!
DAKOTA
Your mother is Latrice King: The
Godmother of Modern Gospel, according
to Blackepedia. It also says your
grandfather was the latest in a
political dynasty ending up with
becoming the first Black senator from
26.
Georgia since the 1800's. Your
grandmother was an heiress to a real
estate empire. In fact, they own most
of the town we live in which explains
how you could afford the house.
DEVONTE
My dad's side isn't rich.
DAKOTA
I knew he was a general in the Army,
but I didn't know he was our Secretary
of Foreign Affairs!
DEVONTE
That was for like a minute while the
Obama Administration was in
transition.
DAKOTA
His family owns most of the sugar cane
fields in Trinidad!
DEVONTE
That's a side project, their main
money is in oil!
Devonte winces realizing he shouldn't have said that. Dakota
closes his laptop and crosses to Devonte.
DAKOTA
Dev all this time we've been stressed
about money and your family is
literally one of the most established
old money Black families in the
country! I didn't even know there was
such a thing as old money Black
families!
DEVONTE
There's more than you'd think. There's
a lot of new money Black trash too!
Devonte shudders as he exits into the bathroom. Dakota
follows him.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
6 -
Revealing Secrets and Intimate Reconciliation
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BATHROOM
Devonte starts doing his nighttime skincare regimen.
DAKOTA
Why didn't you tell me this before?
DEVONTE
Because I'm not rich! My parents have
money, but they never showered us with
it!
27.
DAKOTA
Why didn't you ask them for money when
we were drowning in debt?
DEVONTE
My father paid for our entire lives up
until college! After that, only step
in when we really need it!
DAKOTA
We've been together almost ten years
and I'm just finding out I'm married
to the Fresh Prince of Atlanta! We're
not supposed to keep secrets from each
other!
DEVONTE
You would've known this years ago if
you even attempted once to bond with
my family!
DAKOTA
They hate me!
DEVONTE
Because you never make an effort! Even
at the wedding you barely said a word
to my grandfather even though he paid
for our honeymoon to South Africa!
DAKOTA
You said you found a Groupon! Also,
excuse me if I'm not entirely
comfortable around people who reduce
me entirely to the fact I'm biracial!
DEVONTE
They don't hate you because you're
white! We're a Black family with
money, of course some of these niggas
married a white bitch! They care that
you're a poor white boy!
DAKOTA
Bullshit! They hate that I'm not Black
enough! They wish you were with some
chocolatey beefcake straight outta
Wakanda looking ass dude! They wish
you were with someone who said stuff
like 'for the culture' and 'Black
excellence' and 'we are not our
ancestors'! Maybe he's a doctor or a
lawyer or he has some business back
home that he can't talk about but the
money's good! He's got a big ole mocha
covered Donkey Kong dong and it's
thick and veiny! But I'm not that guy
and I'll never be that guy!
28.
DEVONTE
I don't want you to be!
Devonte turns around and pulls Dakota in close.
DEVONTE
I love you because you're the
goofiest, quirkiest, most
compassionate and sensitive man I've
ever met. Do I wish you were more in
touch with your culture? Yes. But I
love that take the kids snowboarding
any chance you get even though the
twins first words were 'HELP'! I love
that your favorite actor is Jean
Claude Van Damme followed closely by
Steven Segal! I love that you thought
my afro pick was a cooking utensil! I
love that you thought black eyed peas
were a medical condition! I love that
watched Roots thinking it was a
haircare tutorial! I love that when I
make a reference to OJ, you still
think of the actual juice! If I was
really bothered by your background, I
never would've gone on that second
date in your van that was also your
house and smelled like where the music
died!
Dakota leans into Devonte and lets his husband comfort him.
DAKOTA
I just hate having secrets.
DEVONTE
I know, I should've told you earlier.
But I've always wanted my life to be
mine, not because of who I'm related
to.
DAKOTA
I can understand that.
DEVONTE
Besides, you're gonna do amazing at
that party and impress everyone!
DAKOTA
Are you sure?
DEVONTE
Once they get a chance to see the man
I know, they'll love you as much as I
do.
DAKOTA
Wanna show me how much you love me
29.
right now?
Devonte thinks for a moment.
DEVONTE
Sure.
Devonte kisses Dakota deeply.
DEVONTE
My hunchbacked white trash power top!
Dakota tosses Devonte onto the sink and starts taking off his
own pants.
DAKOTA
You're my special dark chocolate! My
exotic cocoa truffle! You're my mocha
muffin man!
DEVONTE
Let me melt all over you!
Devonte pulls off his pants and presses Dakota against his
body. As Dakota begins to thrust, music is heard loudly
playing. Devonte and Dakota laugh about it and turn off the
lights.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Dakota's Chaotic Morning and a Surprise Proposal
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-DAY
Dakota is chasing the twins around the house who are wearing
nothing but diapers. He's trying to get them dressed. Ja'Niah
is playing a video game and tuning them out.
DAKOTA
BOYS GET OVER HERE!
The twins run into the kitchen.
DAKOTA V/O
NOT ON THE FLOOR!
The doorbell rings.
JA'NIAH
Someone's at the door!
DAKOTA V/O
ANSWER IT!
JA'NIAH
I'm playing my--
DAKOTA V/O
I'M COVERED IN PEE! GET THE DAMN DOOR!
Ja'Niah sighs as she pauses her game and answers the door.
Demetria is waiting.
30.
DEMETRIA
Hey Niah! Where's your dad?
JA'NIAH
Which one?
DEMETRIA
The white one.
Dakota enters holding the twins.
DAKOTA
Hey Demetria! Something wrong?
DEMETRIA
Dev and I was talking and he said I
should put more of an effort into
getting to know you.
DAKOTA
Okay [beat] Thanks for stopping by!
Dakota heads upstairs.
DEMETRIA
Wait! I really wanna make an effort!
It's not your fault you come from
trailer trash! I'm taking you on a
girl's day out!
DAKOTA
Which entails--
DEMTERIA
Nails, hair, massages--the whole nine!
JA'NIAH
Can I get a sow-in?
DEMETRIA
No, you're going with Nana. This is
just about me and your dad.
Demetria turns to Dakota.
DEMETRIA
Are you in?
Dakota dwells in silence for a moment.
Genres:
["Drama","Family","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
A Surprising Revelation at the Nail Salon
INT. NAIL SALON
Dakota and Demetria are getting their nails done while
servants pour them drinks and serve them appetizers.
DAKOTA
It has been so long since I've had
anyone waiting on hand and foot for
31.
me!
DEMETRIA
I thought Dev used to work from home.
DAKOTA
I had to use coupons to get sex. He's
not that kind of guy. I do wonder what
the purpose of them soaking our feet
in Hennessy and gold sheets of paper
is.
DEMETRIA
It's called luxury nigga!
DAKOTA
Seems a little excessive.
DEMETRIA
You ain't back home on the range, you
in Atlanta! In Atlanta, we show out!
[beat] Can I ask you something?
DAKOTA
Shoot.
DEMETRIA
Is you one of them white boys who be
into freaky shit with niggas?
DAKOTA
I'm not white and no. But let me ask
you something: why is you act like a
rejected UPN side character when you
come from so much money?
DEMETRIA
Just cause we got money don't mean we
ain't still with the shits! I never
took to all the prep schools and
debutante balls my parents pushed me
into! Listen, this family is as hood
as anybody else we just hide it
better!
DAKOTA
What do you mean?
DEMETRIA
Chile we nigga rich! We be spending
thousands of dollars on gold rims for
cars, plastic surgery for every inch
of our bodies and boats large enough
to have brought the ancestors from
Africa! My family's rich because of
luck! My parents spent money like
water and nearly had to file for
bankruptcy! They act like hot shit now
32.
but their welfare line habits almost
had them in on food stamps forreal!
DAKOTA
Are you serious? How much are you
worth?
DEMETRIA
I'm worth 40 million because I've been
producing everything niggas have
watched since 2005. My parents are
liquid for about 150 million and the
rest's investments.
DAKOTA
That's still a lot.
DEMETRIA
It's not when you came from 1.5
billion.
Dakota pops up surprised.
DAKOTA
How the--
DEMETRIA
Nigga rich.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
Wealth Disparity and the Divide in Black Atlanta
INT. MASSAGE ROOM
Dakota and Demetria are getting deep tissue massages by very
muscular handsome Black men. There's steam everywhere and an
old man with an African drum is wailing behind them. Two
servants are feeding Dakota and Demetria cocktails through
straws.
DEMETRIA
The Black community never learned how
to save money and those who did never
passed that onto their kids! The Jews
got it and they run shit! The Asians
got it and they run shit! The Indians,
dot head not pow-wow, got it and they
shit! But Black folk? Ain't nobody
been here longer than us but
Pocahontas yet we're at the bottom of
the totem pole! Why? Cause niggas do
shit like get their house fitted with
wallpaper made from actual hundred
dollar bills!
DAKOTA
My God, who was that?
DEMETRIA
Me but Yeezy talked me out of it
[sighs] I miss when he was normal.
33.
DAKOTA
So you're telling me that all of the
wealth in Atlanta is--
DEMETRIA
Fleeting, fading and probably fake to
begin with. There's two Atlantas...
EXT. GOLF COURSE-DAY
Demetria finishes a swing and lets Dakota take his turn.
There are servants nearby with drinks on trays.
DEMETRIA
There's Old Atlanta which is mostly
working to middle class, the wealth
that's there comes from the
reconstruction period. Then there's
New Atlanta that's mostly niggas who
got rich in the last 30 years or so.
These the niggas that grew up broke
but hit it big somehow or shit just
made it to middle management and now
they balling outta control!
DAKOTA
Where's your family fall in this?
DEMETRIA
My grandparent's are from Old Atlanta.
Granddaddy built his empire brick by
brick. But his kids, my mother, act
like New Atlanta. Have you seen how
much that woman spends on wigs?
DAKOTA
I'm still confused. I get what Old
Atlanta is but what exactly entails
New Atlanta?
INT. BRUNCH RESTAURANT
Dakota and Demetria are having brunch in a crowded fancy
restaurant that feels more like a club than somewhere to eat.
Everyone is dressed like they're going to the Grammys.
DEMETRIA
This is New Atlanta! How's the food?
DAKOTA
Horrible! I paid 40 bucks for chicken
and waffle with cheese grits! I could
do better and I just learned what Soul
Food is a month ago!
DEMETRIA
Now try the cocktail.
34.
Dakota sips his drink.
DAKOTA
Damn bitch! That shit is strong! I'm
not even a bottom yet my bussy is
loose right now!
DEMETRIA
Most Atlanta brunch spots are just
places to be seen getting drunk around
other wannabe famous who want be seen
getting drunk. The food is always the
quality of a Denny's in rural Idaho.
DAKOTA
Who owns this place and how are they
getting away with this?
CHINUA, a tall elegant dark skinned mid 40's Black woman
dripping in Nigerian jewelry, saunters over to them.
CHINUA
Hey Dee-Dee!
DEMETRIA
Hey Chi-Chi!
Demetria and Chinua hug.
DEMETRIA
Dakota, this is JaQuan's wife Chinua.
She owns this place.
DAKOTA
Everything is absolutely wonderful!
Best food I've had in a while!
CHINUA
All you're so sweet! The undocumented
Mexicans and Haitians in the kitchen
will appreciate the compliment! Dee,
come with me! I think I see Shannon
Sharpe!
Chinua pulls Demetria away with her. Dakota tosses his food
in the waste basket one of those waiter-robots is carrying.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
Chaos in the Kitchen: Preparing for the Big Party
INT. EASTMAN KITCHEN-DAY
Dakota is scrambling in the kitchen to prepare dishes for the
party. Ja'Niah is doing her best trying to change the twins.
DAKOTA
Ja'Niah we've got 30 minutes before we
need to hit the road and you've been
jerking around for 40!
35.
JA'NIAH
The twins keep peeing everywhere!
Dakota grabs Ja'Niah and places her at the stove.
DAKOTA
Stir!
Dakota starts changing the twins. They pee on him.
DAKOTA
Remind me to restrict their liquids
after 12.
JA'NIAH
Whatever you're frying is done!
DAKOTA
That's the deep-fried okra! Pull that
out for me!
JA'NIAH
I'm struggling to see over the stove!
DAKOTA
USE A CHAIR!
JA'NIAH
I'm a child! I shouldn't be doing
this!
DAKOTA
You know my credit card number! Get on
the damn chair girl!
Ja'Niah rolls her eyes and grabs a chair. She starts pulling
out the okra.
JA'NIAH
Dad, you're only supposed to bring one
dish!
DAKOTA
I'm doing this so your papa's family
finally starts to like me and stops
vaguely threatening to Missing White
Woman me!
JA'NIAH
Does Grampy like papa?
DAKOTA
Grampy doesn't like anyone but
thankfully we don't have to worry
about him!
Dakota manages to get the twins changed.
36.
DAKOTA
Honestly, that's the one thing about
this move I like! Hold down the fort,
I'm taking the twins upstairs for
quick nap!
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
Grady's Judgmental Homecoming
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-DAY
Dakota crosses into the living room and upstairs with the
twins in tow. There's a knock on the door.
DAKOTA V/O
Get the door!
Ja'Niah answers the door and it's Dakota's father GRADY, a
grizzled greying burly white late 60's mountain man type clad
in flannel and camo print.
JA'NIAH
Grampy!
Grady pulls Ja'Niah into a bear hug.
GRADY
How ya doin' squirt?
JA'NIAH
What are you doing here?
GRADY
I got up bored up in the mountains and
I figured I'd see what all the fuss
with Atlanta was about!
Grady sniffs around.
GRADY
You got something on the stove?
Ja'Niah gasps and runs into the kitchen.
INT. EASTMAN KITCHEN
Ja'Niah tends to the food on the stove as Grady enters.
GRADY
What's all this?
JA'NIAH
Daddy's making food for a party we're
going to later.
Grady tastes some of the food with his hands like a caveman.
GRADY
I didn't know Devonte could cook like
that!
37.
Grady goes in for more bites with his hands. Dakota enters
and freezes in shock.
DAKOTA
What the hell?
Grady turns around with food dripping from his face and
spraying out of his mouth when he speaks.
GRADY
There's my boy!
Grady hugs his son who appears to be in complete disbelief.
DAKOTA
What are you doing here?
GRADY
Things got stale up in the cabin.
Figured I'd come and see how my
favorite son was doing!
DAKOTA
I'm the only son that talks to.
GRADY
That's why you're my favorite son!
Grady migrates back to the stove and continues eating.
GRADY
This is real good Cody! Where'd you
learn how to cook like this?
JA'NIAH
He gets practice cause he stays home
with us now!
Grady drops the food on the ground.
GRADY
What?
Grady gets up close to Dakota.
GRADY
Are you Dev's little woman now?
DAKOTA
I'm a stay-at-home father now Dad.
GRADY
Tell me you're at least doing work on
the side.
DAKOTA
Devonte makes enough money now that I
don't have to work.
38.
JA'NIAH
I love having Daddy at home! He lets
sleep in and goes full on 'Now See
Here Buddy' whenever the teacher
complains that I'm late! Yesterday we
had ice cream and pancakes for dinner!
DAKOTA
It was cinnamon nutmeg pancakes with a
peach bourbon reduction and a scoop of
handmade French vanilla ice cream.
Grady looks at Dakota with disgust.
DAKOTA
I put a lot of work into it, I wanted
her to get it right!
GRADY
He's got you cooking his meals,
cleaning his house and raising his
kids! Does he keep your balls in his
purse too?
DAKOTA
It's not a purse, it's a day bag.
GRADY
Did you get into another accident? Why
are you working?
DAKOTA
He makes 200k a year now! I don't need
to be busting my body hopping on roofs
or crawling into crawl spaces anymore!
GRADY
But you're supposed to be the man!
DAKOTA
We're both men! That's how a gay
relationship works!
GRADY
No, he's the one who wears heels and
makeup and pays a grand to shake his
ass to Beyonce! You're supposed to be
the masculine one who protects and
provides for his family!
DAKOTA
I'm still providing for my family! I
provide them with three meals a day, a
clean house and foot rubs for my
husband when he gets home!
JA'NIAH
Is that what you're calling it now?
39.
DAKOTA
Go upstairs and get dressed, your
father should be home any minute!
JA'NIAH
Yes sir.
Ja'Niah runs out of the room.
GRADY
My son's been made a bitch!
DAKOTA
Dad you're overreacting!
GRADY
Listen I know I haven't always been
totally on board with you
being...y'know...
DAKOTA
Bisexual.
GRADY
Yeah, that. But I try my best to back
you up because that's what parents do
according to the books your mother
made me read! The one solace I had was
that I knew my son was the one doing
the bending, now I don't even know!
DAKOTA
Bending? Are you asking if I'm the
top?
GRADY
The what now?
DAKOTA
The top is the one does 'the bending'.
GRADY
Well, are you?
DAKOTA
Yes.
Grady sighs in relief and hugs Dakota.
GRADY
Thank God! I was worried you were a
minute away from telling me you were
gonna slice your wiener off and call
yourself Emily!
Devonte arrives home through the back door.
40.
DEVONTE
Hey sorry I'm--
Devonte stops dead in his tracks when he sees Grady.
GRADY
How ya doin' Dev?
Grady gives Devonte a big hug.
DEVONTE
Grady, what are you doing here?
DAKOTA
Dad's decided to come stay with us for
a while.
DEVONTE
Oh! Why?
GRADY
Can't a make come check on his
grandchildren and favorite son-in-law?
Devonte looks at Dakota who is putting on the most forced
smile possible.
DEVONTE
Did you know about this?
DAKOTA
I'm as delightfully surprised as you
are!
GRADY
What's all the food for? You guys
having a party?
DEVONTE
We're actually going to a little
reception at my cousin's house.
GRADY
What for?
DEVONTE
It's just a little welcome home party.
GRADY
Great!
Grady whips off his pants and opens his suitcase.
GRADY
I'll start getting dressed!
DEVONTE
You want to come with us?
41.
GRADY
Why not? I wanted to spend some time
with you and this seems like a great
way to do it!
Grady takes off his shirt.
GRADY
How formal is this thing?
Devonte stares at Grady in absolute horror.
DEVONTE
Dakota, can I speak to you for a
moment?
DAKOTA
Actually, I'm a little preoccupied--
Devonte drags Dakota out of the kitchen.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
Neighborhood Watch: Devonte and Dakota's Father's Visit
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-DAY
Devonte and Dakota enter the living room.
DEVONTE
Your father cannot come with us!
DAKOTA
Look, I'm no fan of it either but we
can't tell him to stay home!
DEVONTE
This isn't his home! Tell him to go
back to that dinky cabin in the
mountains!
DAKOTA
Babe, he drove all this way just to
see us!
DEVONTE
Drove? [gasps] Oh my God!
Devonte runs to the window.
DEVONTE
He brought the Winnebago?
DAKOTA
What'd you expect him to do? Fly?
DEVONTE
He's gotta move it! We can't have our
neighbors see that thing in front of
our house!
Dakota doesn't say anything but he laughs a little.
42.
DEVONTE
What's so funny?
DAKOTA
You're a snob!
DEVONTE
I am not a snob!
DAKOTA
Dev you once made Ja'Niah stay home
from school because there was a spot
on her shirt!
DEVONTE
I won't have my child leave the house
looking like we're on welfare!
DAKOTA
Why not just change the shirt?
DEVONTE
Because it was a whole ensemble! I
didn't have anything else that matched
that color palette! I'll die before my
child looks like some unemployed
college dropout drugged out hippie!
Dakota looks at Devonte with amusement.
DAKOTA
I'll break it down for you: either he
comes with us and we can prevent him
from trying to eat the ice sculptures
like at the wedding or he stays here
in our nice house in our nice
neighborhood where he can have Alexa
order things for him.
Devonte thinks about it for a moment.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
Road Trip to the Country Estate
INT. EASTMAN VAN-DAY
Devonte is driving while Dakota and Grady play 'Name That
Tune'. Ja'Niah looks miserable.
JA'NIAH
Are we almost there?
DEVONTE
We should be pulling up on the house
soon!
JA'NIAH
Drive faster!
DAKOTA
Do you think they'll like the food?
43.
DEVONTE
Bae, you're basically catering the
thing at this point. You'll be fine.
GRADY
What kind of shindig is this anyway?
DEVONTE
I told you, it's a welcome home party,
just a small reception. Nothing fancy
at all.
JA'NIAH
Look, we're here!
The others lean forward and marvel at the massive sprawling
estate in awe.
DAKOTA
Your mother said they made 'small
renovations' to the house!
DEVONTE
They did, this is mostly how it always
looked.
GRADY
Your family owns this house?
DEVONTE
Yes, it was our little country cottage
to get away from the stress of the
city. My grandmother used to own it,
but she got tired of the upkeep.
GRADY
How on Earth could y'all afford a
place like this?
JA'NIAH
Papa's rich!
DEVONTE
We're not rich! We're comfortable.
DAKOTA
Our getaway home was our grandma's
trailer in Idaho. You grew up going to
Tony Stark's southern estate!
GRADY
You knock it but that trailer was
pretty nice on the inside!
DAKOTA
It had black mold, smelled like Coors
Light mixed vomit and had so many
cockroaches they could've paid rent!
44.
GRADY
That gave it character!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Country Cottage Party
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE DRIVEWAY-DAY
Dakota is getting the twins situated in their stroller while
Ja'Niah and Grady help Devonte unload the food.
DEVONTE
Everyone be themselves! My family and
friends have money but they aren't
pretentious! If you stand on ceremony,
they'll be uncomfortable!
SERVANTS step outside.
SERVANT 1
Hello Mr. Braithwaite-Eastman, welcome
home.
SERVANT 2
May we assist you?
DEVONTE
I think we can--
The servants take the food inside.
DEVONTE
Manage.
GRADY
Whoa! Those guys looked like clones of
the butler from The Fresh Prince of
Bel-Air!
DEVONTE
Yes, they changed the servants out a
while ago. At least, these speak
English.
Devonte walks inside. Grady and Dakota give each other a
puzzled look.
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE BACKYARD-DAY
Devonte and the family enter the sprawling backyard of the
cottage. It looks similar to a lavish country club than a
private home. The party is well underway. LA'SHONDA, a
beautiful and elegant statuesque dark skinned late 30's Black
woman, spots Devonte and screams.
LA'SHONDA
DEV!
DEVONTE
SHONDA!
45.
La'Shonda and Devonte run over to one another and hug. Some
of Dev's friends join them.
LA'SHONDA
Bitch you look good!
DEVONTE
Thanks! Sometimes I feel like I've
become a cow since we had the kids!
LA'SHONDA
Chile you look amazing! That white boy
must be working your ass out!
DEVONTE
In more ways than one!
La'Shonda sees Dakota and the family bringing up the rear.
LA'SHONDA
Speak of the devil...
La'Shonda and her friends circle around Dakota.
LA'SHONDA
I haven't seen you since the wedding!
How are you Dakota?
DAKOTA
I'm good...
Dakota looks behind La'Shonda and sees Devonte mouthing out
her name.
DAKOTA
La'Shonda!
LA'SHONDA
Tell me, how's the construction
business going?
JALEN, a fit and handsome incredibly stylish mid 30's light-
skinned Black male, looks Dakota up and down.
JALEN
That's right! You're the wild man from
the Rockies I heard Devonte managed to
tame! My how his taste has changed.
Grady wanders off with the twins. Ja'Niah notices this and
tries to get her parents attention but they ignore her.
DAKOTA
I'm sorry--who are you?
Jalen shakes Dakota's hand.
46.
JALEN
Jalen Jackson-Johanssen of Jackson
Johanssen Family Law--
Jalen holds Dakota's hand and stares him in the eye.
JALEN
And Devonte's ex-fiancé.
DAKOTA
Really?
Dakota looks back at Devonte who is trying to communicate his
side of the story through charades. Dakota tries to follow
along. Ja'Niah keeps trying to get his attention.
JA'NIAH
Dad!
DAKOTA
Not now Ja'Niah.
Ja'Niah groans and goes to find Grady.
DAKOTA
I had no idea you were...
Dakota watches Devonte.
DAKOTA
Devonte's boyfriend since you were 18
largely because your parents wanted
you to get married because it would've
meant cojoining both businesses. But
Devonte was never really in love with
you and was only doing it for his
father.
Dakota is looking at Devonte when he says--
DAKOTA
Did I get that right?
JALEN
Yes...that's spot on.
Devonte is acting out some more information.
DAKOTA
But the reason he broke up with you is
because you slept with every other fat
bootied hoe with a smile and gave him
gonorrhea twice! Then you tried to
make it up to me--to him by taking him
to Bermuda for Valentine's Day but I
caught--he caught you sleeping with a
maid in your ocean suite!
47.
JALEN
He told you all that?
DAKOTA
Yeah, hold on....
Dakota tries to figure out what Devonte's telling him next.
DAKOTA
He's very happy with me because I
actually listen to him when he says
'no that hurts, no that's not the--I
can't say that!
JALEN
What?
DAKOTA
What?
Devonte gets in-between the two of them.
DEVONTE
Dakota why don't you go get your
father something to--
Devonte turns and sees Grady and the kids are gone.
DEVONTE
Oh God! He's loose!
DAKOTA
I'll go find him!
Dakota runs off.
JALEN
I need to tend to my wife. It was nice
seeing you again Dev.
Devonte just smiles as Jalen exits.
LA'SHONDA
My, my doesn't Tarzan have quite the
acid tongue on him?
NADEGE, an attractive early 40's Black woman dressed like a
mix between a fancy drape and go-go dancer, speaks up.
NADEGE
I bet he puts it to good use too! Mm
honey look at those arms [in Kreyol] I
wish I could see how many rounds he
can go for!
DEVONTE
[in Kreyol] I was on that mission trip
to Port-au-Prince too, remember?
48.
Nadege sips her wine and looks away from him.
DEVONTE
[in English] But yes, he's got a
'rustic' quality to him that I enjoy.
DAMARCUS, a twinky feminine mid 30's Black male dressed like
a clearance rack at Zara exploded on him, speaks up.
DAMARCUS
Is he hung like a brotha or like a
field mouse?
DEVONTE
DeMarcus!
DEMARCUS
Answer the question gurl!
LA'SHONDA
Yes chile, we all wanna know! Is he
rough?
DEMARCUS
Is he hairy?
NADEGE
Is it pink?
Devonte sighs and his body language portrays he's annoyed but
he gives up.
DEVONTE
It's a light tan, he's very hairy,
he's so rough that once I had three
orgasms in one session and--
Devonte puts his hands apart to represent how long and girthy
Dakota's penis is. His friends gasp in shock.
DEMARCUS
And you're coming home to that every
day in an apron with a smile, a
cocktail and a hard-on?
Devonte beams with pride.
DEVONTE
Yes, yes I am!
DEMARCUS
Gurl, you lucky as hell!
NADEGE
He got a brother?
LA'SHONDA
Fuck that! Do you loan this nigga out?
49.
DEVONTE
Are things not going well with
LaDarius?
LA'SHONDA
Let's just say that the last time I
had back to back orgasms, I had to
outsource them.
DEVONTE
Where is he by the way?
LA'SHONDA
He's currently on a business trip with
Jabril, a perky young intern working
his campaign who is very eager to
please!
DEVONTE
He's never around to help with the
kids?
LA'SHONDA
We don't have any yet because he can't
'preform', at least with me.
La'Shonda sips her wine.
LA'SHONDA
I'm very happy for you Dev.
Devonte is about to respond but he sees Grady strolling the
kids over towards the bar.
DEVONTE
SHIT! I gotta go! We'll talk!
Devonte runs off.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
Dakota's Story Interrupted by Family Tension
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE GAZEBO-DAY
Dakota is telling a story to some of Devonte's friends. They
seem very engrossed.
DAKOTA
Then he gets into the amphitheater and
he sees his infant son is in the
middle of a minefield with a man-
eating tiger!
In the background, Grady is arguing with the bartender and
he's getting violent.
RICH FRIEND 1
What does he do?
Dakota leans as if he's getting to the good part.
50.
DAKOTA
Dennis Rodman swoops in on a motorbike
and grabs the baby! Quinn chases
Starvos out of the amphitheater as it
explodes with the tiger chasing after
him!
Security rushes in and tackles Grady to the ground.
RICH FRIEND 2
But how does he survive the explosion?
DAKOTA
He hides behind a Coke machine! They
fried the coke! And that's 'Double
Team', the greatest movie ever made!
Devonte runs over to Grady and tells security to back off but
they start handcuffing Grady instead. Everyone notices and
looks behind Dakota. He turns around and looks mortified.
RICH FRIEND 1
Who is that man and how did he get in?
DAKOTA
Yeah! Since when are we letting trash
that like that in here?
RICH FRIEND 2
I swear, some people just don't know
how to act!
Grady sees Dakota at the gazebo.
GRADY
Cody! Cody come here!
RICH FRIEND 1
Is that man talking to you?
DAKOTA
I--I don't think so!
GRADY
Dakota, help me out son!
RICH FRIEND 2
Is that your father?
Dakota laughs while knocking back a couple of shots.
DAKOTA
My father? Of course not! Let me go
straight him straight, be right back!
Dakota takes another shot and runs off.
51.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
Grady's Unexpected Bar Visit and Flirtatious Encounters
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE BAR-DAY
Dakota runs over to the bar and tries to help his father but
security blocks him.
DAKOTA
What happened? What did you do?
GRADY
These folks are so rich but they're
charging 15 bucks for a whiskey sour!
DAKOTA
Why would you assume it was an open
bar?
GRADY
You can smell the money here! I
assumed I wouldn't need a small
business loan to get a drink!
DAKOTA
The free stuff in on the trays Dad!
A waiter walks by with a tray of champagne. Dakota takes two
glasses and downs them.
DAKOTA
See?
Latrice and Jerome arrive.
LATRICE
You can let him go, he's with us.
The security relents and exits. Grady gets to his feet.
GRADY
Hey there! I remember you from the
wedding!
Grady hugs Latrice and Jerome, the latter of whom seems to
enjoy it very much.
LATRICE
It's lovely to see you Grady but we
didn't know you'd be joining us!
DEVONTE
Dakota's father decided to surprise us
with a visit!
GRADY
I hope I didn't step on any toes!
JEROME
Nonsense! You're always welcome here!
52.
Jerome puts his hands on Grady's shoulders and looks him up
and down.
JEROME
Seeing you side by side, I know where
Dakota gets his looks from! God,
there's just so much of you! You're
solid as a rock! So rugged, so
manly...
Jerome laughs aroused and Grady laughs with him but not
getting why. Dakota and Devonte look deeply confused but
Latrice knows what's going on. She gets between them.
LATRICE
How long will you be in Atlanta Grady?
GRADY
Depends on how long the kids will let
me stay.
DAKOTA
You planned on staying with us?
GRADY
Well not exactly with you but I need
somewhere to park the Winnebago!
LATRICE
You drove here in an RV?
JEROME
How rustic! Like a real man!
Jerome slaps Grady on the shoulder which turns into him
rubbing Grady's arm while laughing. Grady joins him again but
doesn't get it. Latrice pulls Jerome off.
LATRICE
If you want, you could stay at our
home at Lake Lainer.
DEVONTE
You're giving him the lakeside cabin?
Latrice pulls Devonte to her level and speaks into his ear.
LATRICE
Do you want your neighbors watching
him wash his mobile home in his
underwear having a rockabilly ole
time?
Devonte shoots upright.
DEVONTE
You'll love the cabin! The fishing's
excellent!
53.
Latrice shows Grady pictures of the cabin on her phone.
LATRICE
It's about an hour away from the city
and right up on the water. It's
secluded from most of the public areas
of the lake. It's got the most
breathtaking view!
GRADY
I might take the twins on a fishing
trip then!
DEVONTE
They're two years old!
GRADY
Never too late to teach 'em how to be
real men! Can't expect you two to do
it! I'll take 'em hunting too!
DEVONTE
You're not giving my boys guns!
GRADY
I shot my first gun when I was three!
It landed right between the eyes of a
rutting buck!
JEROME
You're a real mountaineer man! Like
Paul Bunyon but with smoother skin!
Jerome smells Grady.
JEROME
What's that you're wearing?
GRADY
It's my own blend of pine oil, lime,
ash and nutmeg.
JEROME
I could sniff you all day!
GRADY
I can set you up with some if you
want.
JEROME
I'll let you bathe me in it!
Jerome laughs while resting his hand on the small of Grady's
back. Grady still has no idea what's going on.
LATRICE
Jerome, I see the Obamas. Let's go say
hi.
54.
Latrice rushes Jerome away.
GRADY
Shit, that really is Barack and
Michelle!
DEVONTE
We used to vacation together in Maui.
Anyway, Grady why don't you wait
inside the house until we leave?
GRADY
But I wanna--
DEVONTE
The TV's so clear you'll think you can
touch Tom Selleck's moustache!
GRADY
Wonder what kinda food's in there...
DEVONTE
Go find out!
Devonte pushes Grady in the direction of the house. La'Shonda
signals for Devonte to come over. He grabs the stroller.
DEVONTE
We're staying for an hour then we're
going before anything else can happen!
DAKOTA
I'll be as bougie as possible, just
for you!
Devonte kisses Dakota.
DEVONTE
You'll be rewarded handsomely for it
tonight!
Dakota kisses Devonte back.
DAKOTA
Why not right now in one of the guest
rooms?
Devonte rolls his eyes and exits.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
Devonte's Revelation: A Surprise Addiction and Uncertain Finances
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE BACKYARD
Devonte strolls the twins over to La'Shonda and their
friends. Kalina and Demetria have joined them.
LA'SHONDA
We wanted to get a better look at the
twins!
55.
Everyone crowds around the two boys and coos over them.
LA'SHONDA
They're so precious! Did you adopt or
use a surrogate?
DEVONTE
Surrogate. We actually used this
clinic that specializes in connecting
Black couples with Black donors and
surrogates.
NADEGE
Whose are they?
DEVONTE
What do you mean?
NADEGE
Whose sperm did you use?
DEVONTE
Our egg donor was actually one of
cousins from Trinidad and--
KALINA
You used the white boy's sperm?
DEVONTE
When we had Ja'Niah we used my sperm
and his sister's eggs. It only seemed
fair that for the twins we did the
reverse.
Kalina looks aghast.
KALINA
Tell me you get custody as a part of
the pre-nup!
Devonte falls silent and spots a waiter with a tray of
champagne and takes two glasses. Kalina looks aghast.
KALINA
You don't even have a pre-nup, do you?
Devonte downs both glasses of champagne and signals for
another.
DEVONTE
Is that champagne or that a light
vodka? I need two more over here!
KALINA
That white boy's gonna take you to the
cleaner's and bleed you dry for child
support!
56.
DEVONTE
I'm aware you had a marriage more
tragic than anything currently
happening in Westeros, but our
relationship isn't built on
materialism or selfishness. I knew he
was broke when I met him! He lived in
a van for Christ's sake!
KALINA
He was homeless?
DEVONTE
He flipped an old van into a mini-
home. It was actually quite
impressive, had a stove and
everything. He's very good with his
hands.
DEMARCUS
I bet. Lucky bitch.
NADEGE
I'd give you 2 grand for a weekend
with him.
LA'SHONDA
I'd double it!
The trio turns their attention to Dakota playing football
with some of the other men. He's on the skins team. His farm
fed physique glistens with sweat in the sunlight.
DEMARCUS
Gurl you didn't tell me he was built
like that?
DEMETRIA
I could have him cast in the next
Tyler Perry movie by tonight, just
bring the oil!
KALINA
That little himbo is after your money!
DEVONTE
He didn't even know about the money
until we moved here!
KALINA
Are you serious?
DEVONTE
He thought I was the poor one!
KALINA
Racist little oaf. Of course, he'd
think--
57.
DEVONTE
I was an addict!
Everyone gasps.
DEVONTE
When I left for college, I got hooked
on cocaine and meth--
Jalen is walking towards the group.
DEVONTE
Mostly because Jalen introduced them
to me to improve our sex life.
Jalen darts in the opposite direction.
DEVONTE
When Dakota met me, I was coming out
of rehab for the third time. But he
didn't see me as a junkie. He still
pursued me, locked me in his van for
two months and helped me get clean. He
used to go to all my NA meetings. He
helped me get a therapist. He was my
biggest cheerleader. He knew nothing
about me except that he wanted to
spend the rest of his life making mine
perfect. That's the kind of man I
married! So no, I'm not worried about
him Kalina.
Everyone is speechless and staring at Devonte in shock.
DEVONTE
You may rebut.
KALINA
How come you never told us?
DEVONTE
Because I knew how you'd react, how
all of you would react. Dakota never
judged me, but if I told you that's
all I'd ever get.
KALINA
I wouldn't have judged you!
NADEGE
I would've.
The others murmur in agreement. Ja'Niah runs up to Devonte.
JA'NIAH
I can't find Grampy!
58.
DEVONTE
He's in the house watching TV.
JA'NIAH
In the house? With who?
DEVONTE
No one, he should be alone.
LA'SHONDA
Actually, Ethel was taking a nap
inside.
DEVONTE
She's here?
JA'NIAH
Who's Ethel?
LA'SHONDA
She hadn't seen you in years so she
flew up from her beach home in Nassau.
Is that a problem?
Devonte runs towards the house.
JA'NIAH
Hey wait!
Ja'Niah grabs the stroller and runs after him.
JA'NIAH
WHO'S ETHEL?
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
A Friendly Encounter: Grady Meets Ethel
INT. COUNTRY COTTAGE TV ROOM-DAY
Grady is watching a Broncos game as the servants bring him a
cheeseburger and beer. ETHEL, a lean but feisty regally
beautiful late 90's Black woman, enters while smoking a
cigarette. She's dressed like a much younger woman.
ETHEL
I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone else
was here.
GRADY
Nah you're good. I'm just taking a
break from the party to watch the
game.
Grady wipes his hand on his shirt and offers it to Ethel.
GRADY
I'm Grady.
Ethel hesitantly shakes his hand.
59.
ETHEL
Ethel, nice to meet you.
GRADY
Have a seat, get comfortable.
Ethel sits next to Grady.
ETHEL
Who did you come here with?
GRADY
My son's married to the lady who used
to own this house.
ETHEL
You're Devonte's father-in-law?
GRADY
Sure am, who are you?
ETHEL
I'm his grandmother.
Grady pops back surprised.
GRADY
Get outta town! You look great! I
never would've guessed you had a 70-
year-old daughter!
ETHEL
I had her rather young, but I do try
to keep active.
GRADY
Sweetheart, you're a 10/10! Your
husband's a lucky man!
ETHEL
Actually, my Sylvester died several
years ago.
GRADY
And no one's scooped up a beautiful
rose like you yet?
ETHEL
You're too kind! Are you married?
GRADY
Been divorced twice, got a few baby
moms. I keep falling for strong
beautiful Black women, they're my
weakness.
ETHEL
Really?
60.
Ethel moves closer to Grady and undoes a few of her blouse
buttons.
ETHEL
You don't currently have a woman in
your life?
GRADY
Most women my age can't keep up with
me.
ETHEL
I don't think I'd have that problem.
Ethel takes a sip of Grady's beer and gets even closer to
him.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
19 -
Jerome's Victory Celebration Turns Sour
EXT. COUNTRY COTTAGE PATIO-DAY
Devonte runs towards the house but is intercepted by Jerome
and JaQuan who are eating some of Dakota's food.
JEROME
Dev you've gotta try this! Whoever
made these yams deserves a medal!
DEVONTE
Dakota made those.
JAQUAN
These chitlins taste just like great-
grandma Ola's!
DEVONTE
He made those, the fried okra, the mac
and cheese, the stewed ox tails and
the cornbread.
JEROME
Who taught him how to cook like that?
DEVONTE
Mostly from watching me but--
Jerome puts a mouthful of food into Devonte's mouth.
JEROME
Isn't that better than sex on the
beach?
DEVONTE
DAMN! He is getting good!
JAQUAN
He could give my wife some lessons.
DEVONTE
She owns a restaurant! How can she not
61.
cook?
JAQUAN
She owns a bar that happens to sell
food like every other bougie New
Atlanta brunch restaurant! No one's
going there to eat, they're going to
be seen and to get hammered!
DEVONTE
Speaking of which, daddy have you been
drinking? You look off.
JEROME
I'm perfectly fine!
DEVONTE
You're having heart surgery next week
and the doctor said--
JEROME
Damn him! I've been to 20 countries,
fought in four wars and been shot
twice! I can handle a drink or two!
DEVONTE
JaQuan, please make sure our father
doesn't kill himself before the night
is over.
JAQUAN
Will do. I must say, I am impressed by
your halfbreed of a husband. Perhaps,
we misjudged him.
JaQuan looks at Dakota wrestling with some of the nephews.
JAQUAN
He's getting on famously with the rest
of the family. I'll try to let up on
the mountain mutt.
DEVONTE
His name is Dakota.
Devonte looks at JaQuan defiantly.
JAQUAN
Noted.
Dakota runs over to Devonte and JaQuan.
DAKOTA
I'm getting old! Those kids are giving
me a run for my money!
JEROME
Look at the way his abs glisten!
62.
Devonte and JaQuan look at their father taken aback. Dakota
sniffs Jerome and laughs.
DAKOTA
Someone got into the yams!
DEVONTE
What do you mean?
DAKOTA
I made the yams with a bottle of rum
like you always do.
DEVONTE
Did you cook it out?
DAKOTA
I added it towards the end so it had a
little bounce to it.
DEVONTE
How much did you add?
DAKOTA
A few splashes, I think.
DEVONTE AND JAQUAN
You think?
DAKOTA
Honestly, I knocked back a bottle
while I was cooking but I'm pretty
sure I didn't use any more than a few
splashes!
Ja'Niah strolls the twins over to her parents.
JA'NIAH
He's not in the house! I checked
everywhere!
Ja'Niah smells Jerome.
JA'NIAH
I told you half a bottle was too much!
DEVONTE
Oh God!
Devonte turns to the buffet and sees everyone is a little
tipsy.
DAKOTA
Don't worry babe! I didn't waste any
liquor, I used the rest of it to clean
the chitlins!
Devonte and JaQuan look at Dakota with horror.
63.
DAKOTA
Alcohol kills bacteria!
DEVONTE
Did you wash them?
DAKOTA
Yeah, once. Why?
DEVONTE
Do you know where chitlins come from?
DAKOTA
Actually, no. I've always wondered
that!
Devonte whispers it into Dakota's ear followed by Dakota
screaming.
DAKOTA
That's what I've been eating all these
years?
DEVONTE
I assumed you knew!
DAKOTA
I never ask! I just swallow whatever
you put in my mouth!
Everyone turns to Devonte and Dakota, some with curious
smiles.
JEROME
As you were!
Everyone turns back around.
JEROME
Don't sweat the kid too much Dev! He's
learning and I think he's doing a
bang-up job!
DAKOTA
Thank you General.
Someone in the background throws up.
DEVONTE
Please no...
More people start to vomit.
DEVONTE
OH GOD!
Devonte runs around the buffet and throws people's plates
away.
64.
DEVONTE
DON'T EAT IT! YOU'LL DIE!
A scream is heard from inside the house. Latrice comes
outside running.
JAQUAN
Mama, what's wrong?
LATRICE
I went to bring some food to your
grandmother and she was--she was--
Latrice shudders in horror. Ethel runs outside covered only
by a sheet. Everyone gasps.
ETHEL
Honey it's not what you think!
Grady follows Ethel wrapped in a rug.
GRADY
We were just talking but then our
clothes fell off!
DAKOTA
Dad what are you doing?
GRADY
Getting to know my in-laws.
Ethel shakes Dakota's hand.
ETHEL
Ethel King, I'm Devonte's grandmother.
It's so nice to meet you Dakota!
Dakota wordlessly stares at her in shock.
ETHEL
I apologize for missing your wedding
all those years ago. I was on safari
with Colin Powell and his wife and I
forgot I was double booked!
DAKOTA
It's fine. Dad put some clothes on--
Another person throws up.
DAKOTA
You're making everyone sick!
Someone passes out in the background. The other guests stare
at Dakota and begin whispering about him.
JEROME
That's enough! All of you should be
65.
ashamed of yourselves!
LATRICE
Jerome have you been drinking?
JEROME
Away from me woman! Y'all judge this
boy for his background when you should
be celebrating! Remove gender from it
and my son has a certifiable smokeshow
cooking his meals, cleaning his house,
raising his kids and gives him porn
star quality sex every night!
LATRICE
Jerome you drunken idiot! Sit down!
JEROME
I will not! He's giving our son back-
to-back orgasms on demand! Then add
back in that this is a white boy that
our son who dresses like 90's Oprah
has brought into submission, it's a
win for the culture! The white man
thought if he couldn't lock and drug
and shoot us up, he'd breed us out!
Look at the NBA! You may as well call
it the National Biracial Association!
But look what happened! This Band-Aid
colored boy is submitting to a sissy
and re-melenated his own bloodline!
Jerome laughs as he pops some heart pills and eats some more
yams.
JEROME
I've defeated the white man's agenda!
My seed reigns superior! Victory,
VICTORY!
Jerome collapses. Latrice lets out an over-the-top cartoonish
scream from the bottom of her soul.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
20 -
Jerome's Confession and Final Moments
INT. HOSPPITAL LOBBY-NIGHT
Latrice is sitting alone looking distressed. Dakota walks
over to her with some coffee.
DAKOTA
Figured you could use this since we'll
be here a while.
LATRICE
Thanks.
DAKOTA
Sorry for almost killing your husband.
66.
LATRICE
If you had finished the job, I'd have
bought you a car.
DAKOTA
You're having problems?
Latrice laughs and sips her coffee.
DAKOTA
My mom left my dad after he knocked up
my kindergarten teacher, again. You
shouldn't have to stay in a situation
that's not serving you. She got out,
maybe you should too.
Latrice continues to drink as she thinks it over.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM-NIGHT
Jerome is asleep with several machines hooked up to him.
Devonte is by his bedside asleep. Jerome wakes up.
JEROME
Dev...
Devonte pops up.
DEVONTE
Dad, are you okay?
JEROME
Did I die?
DEVONTE
The doctor said you had a heart
attack.
JEROME
Big or small?
DEVONTE
It was so strong, I felt it. But the
surgery was successful. He said you
should recover.
JEROME
Good, because I wanted to tell you
before I die that I'm so proud of you.
DEVONTE
Aw thanks but--
JEROME
Let me finish. Before I entered the
service, I ran my father's sugar cane
fields. There was this migrant worker
from Ireland who was the most
67.
beautiful man I had ever met. Fiery
red hair, glittering green eyes, pearl
white teeth and skin so smooth and
soft it was like kissing a breeze. His
body was chiseled and defined like
white marble cut by the Celtic gods
themselves! He was my first love.
DEVONTE
Are you telling me you're gay?
JEROME
I don't label it. But Quinn was the
man I wanted to spend my life with but
the times being what they were, I
couldn't. My father paid him to return
to Ireland and to never speak to me
again. I was pushed into the service
and introduced to your mother shortly
after that. Father thought both would
man me up.
Jerome laughs but it causes him pain.
JEROME
If only he knew the truth.
DEVONTE
Does mom know the truth?
JEROME
I'm sure she figured it out with all
the young men I've snuck in and out
the house. But I wanted you to know
before I died that I've always envied
you. You're living my dream while
living in your truth. I never was able
to have the life I wanted with Quinn.
But when I see you with Dakota, it's
like some piece of us lives on!
Jerome takes Devonte by the hand and leans up to look him in
the eye.
JEROME
Don't let those jackals in our family
deter you! You found something real
with someone real! Treasure it! Fight
for it! I wish I did!
Jerome falls back as his heart flatlines. The doctors and
nurses rush in as does Latrice who lets out another dramatic
scream.
Genres:
["Drama","Family","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
21 -
The Eastman Family's Tumultuous Homecoming and Unresolved Conflict
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-NIGHT
The Eastman family returns home with expressions as if
they've just returned from war.
68.
DEVONTE
Wasn't that a fun little excursion? My
father outed himself to our entire
family after being brought back to
life for a second time. Your father
has a date at some place called
Roscoe's Crab Shack with my
grandmother next week. La'Shonda will
buy you a Telsa if you sleep with her.
Four people had to have their stomachs
pumped and our daughter definitely
knows where babies come from now!
JA'NIAH
I was so willing to wait on that.
DAKOTA
But at least your siblings like me!
Kalina even said that if I get into
another accident at work, she'd
represent me!
DEVONTE
You're not working anymore though.
DAKOTA
Actually, I got some offers to do some
'small renovations' for a few of your
fancy pants friends.
DEVONTE
Did you say yes?
DAKOTA
I didn't but it's nice to know the
work is there if I need to support my
family.
Grady looks at Dakota with pride.
DEVONTE
I'm going to put the kids to bed. I
expect you in ours shortly.
Devonte leads the kids upstairs. Grady plops on the couch and
turns on the TV.
GRADY
The Nuggets were beating The Heat
before we left the hospital, I wanna
see if they've maintained the lead!
Dakota turns off the TV.
GRADY
Hey! What's wrong with you?
69.
DAKOTA
It's been nice seeing you but you need
to go back to Colorado!
GRADY
You heard Dev's mom! I can stay at the
lakehouse!
DAKOTA
I'm not gonna let you stink up my in-
laws' house right when they're
starting to like me! Besides, you have
your own mountain cabin back home!
GRADY
Not anymore!
Grady exits into the kitchen.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
22 -
Confrontation and Disappointment: Grady's Past Actions Come to Light
INT. EASTMAN KITCHEN-NIGHT
Grady grabs a beer from the fridge as Dakota enters.
DAKOTA
What do you mean? What happened?
GRADY
I needed a fortune to fix up that
place and I'm not exactly a man of
means Cody!
DAKOTA
You just abandoned it? You and mom
built that cabin by hand!
GRADY
I didn't abandon it, I sold it! Some
tech bro from California offered me 5
mil for it so I took it!
DAKOTA
You have 5 million dollars and you're
still living in a RV?
GRADY
Don't get too excited. After taxes and
paying off my debts on the house, I
got 2 million left.
DAKOTA
Dad that's still enough for you to
live anywhere but near me!
GRADY
I'm getting old Cody! I wanna be near
my kids!
70.
DAKOTA
Montana lives thirty minutes from you!
GRADY
She doesn't talk to me anymore, not
after she got married.
DAKOTA
She got married?
GRADY
Yeah to some rich Nigerian guy. He's a
doctor and a lawyer and he's got some
business back home he can't talk about
but the money's solid. I heard he's
got a big--
DAKOTA
I get it Dad. But this family, they're
not like folks back in Colorado. They
barely accepted me for being mixed!
But the reason for that is I don't
know shit about my Black side!
GRADY
And this is supposed to be my fault?
DAKOTA
You and mom never nurtured that part
of me! There's an entire history and
heritage that I never had any
connection to!
GRADY
Why's any of that stuff matter anyway?
I raised you not to see color!
DAKOTA
Being Black is more than just a color!
There's music, there's food, there's
in-jokes I'm finally now getting after
40 years! You've knocked up damn near
every Black woman in Colorado and yet
you don't care at all about the
community they come from! You're a
racial fetishist!
GRADY
C'mon Cody! You're being ridiculous!
DAKOTA
Did you know a Black man invented the
blood transfusion? Did you know that
slaves used to braid in escape routes
in each other's hair? Did you know
that Hennessy is nasty as hell but
niggas put it in everything? Neither
did I until I moved here! I shouldn't
71.
have had to come to Swishy Wakanda to
learn about where I come from! A
father who wanted their child to feel
like a whole human being would've
tried harder! My whole life I've felt
like a side of me was missing and I
tried to just shake it off! But now
I'm surrounded by people like me who
are doing big shit! They're doctors,
lawyers, casting directors, actual
directors--they're so much more than I
thought we could ever be! You never
instilled in me that I came from
people who did amazing things and I
could too!
GRADY
Why are you attacking me? I raised you
to be honest, hardworking man
regardless of color! So you didn't get
to grow up eating hog maws and
watching Good Times! Who cares? You're
better off than a lot of the Tyrones
and DeShawns out there! You're not
walking around here nappy headed and
fish lipped with nothing to show for
themselves! You turned out alright in
the end, didn't ya?
Dakota stares at his father as a realization dawns upon his
face.
DAKOTA
I need you to go.
GRADY
Right after I finish my--
DAKOTA
No, now!
GRADY
You're kicking me out? Is this how you
treat a father?
DAKOTA
You were never there for me! You were
too busy chasing every piece of
melenated tail you could find! You
weren't there for any of your kids but
you sure loved making us!
GRADY
You never wanted for anything!
Whatever you needed, I gave you!
DAKOTA
I saw you ten times in my life after
72.
the divorce! You didn't start showing
up until I made enough money for you
to ask for a cut!
GRADY
It's called trickle-down economics!
The money of the son should falter to
the father!
Dakota opens the kitchen door.
DAKOTA
Go
GRADY
But Cody--
DAKOTA
GO!
GRADY
I'm your father!
DAKOTA
But you were never my dad!
Grady takes one long last look at Dakota and then exits.
Dakota closes the door and slides down it as he cries.
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
23 -
Latrice Confronts Jerome About His Infidelity
INT. IN-LAWS KITCHEN-DAY
Latrice is alone cooking breakfast for herself. The usually
elegant woman is without a wig or makeup. Jerome enters using
a walker. He stands in the doorway and observes her. He can't
think of what to say.
LATRICE
Are you gonna just stand there or are
you gonna sit down?
Jerome takes a seat. Latrice presents him a plate and he
starts eating. She goes back to cooking.
JEROME
Latrice--
LATRICE
If you're gonna say what I think you
will, save it.
JEROME
But we should talk--
LATRICE
No, we shouldn't. Eat your eggs
Jerome.
Latrice fixes herself a plate and sits down to eat. Jerome
73.
stares at her with eyes begging to speak.
LATRICE
Why do you always have to pick an open
wound? Is it not enough that my
children had to hear their father
admit he's been a closeted homosexual
on his deathbed? Is it not enough that
I have to see reports of your
'announcement' on the news? Is it not
enough that people I haven't talked to
in decades are reaching out with
curiosity disguised as sympathy? Can I
simply eat in peace?
Jerome and Latrice eat in silence.
LATRICE
Also, I knew.
JEROME
How?
LATRICE
You're asking me how when I've been
witness to the parade of young men,
some of them underage, in and out of
our home like it's a Motel 6 in a
particularly seedy party of town!
JEROME
It was never my intention to embarrass
you!
Latrice laughs as she continues to eat.
JEROME
I hid it as well I could!
LATRICE
You slept with the caterer on our
wedding night! You slept with the
doctor who delivered our first child!
You slept with our gardener and his
son! You only ever cared about keeping
up the illusion!
JEROME
Then why do you stay?
LATRICE
Because you're my husband, that's what
you do.
JEROME
Then you can't blame me if you're the
one who chose to stay!
74.
LATRICE
You could've chosen to be faithful!
You could've chosen to be honest! You
could've chosen not marry me and put
through all of this bullshit to begin
with! Do you know what would've
happened to my career if I would've
divorced my husband? I would've become
irrelevant overnight! You knew this
but you kept putting me in that
situation anyway! I wanted to leave
you! You don't think I wanted to know
men who wanted to be with a woman?
Latrice stands up.
LATRICE
We haven't had sex since Devonte was
born! But unlike you, I can't go and
sow my wild oats because when I do it,
then it's wrong!
Jerome gets to his feet.
JEROME
I didn't want to be miserable forever!
LATRICE
So you made my life hell instead?
Thanks!
JEROME
Then what is it you want to do?
Latrice falls silent as she thinks.
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
24 -
The Eastman Family Announces a Life-Changing Decision
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-DAY
JaQuan, Kalina, Demetria and Devonte are all lined up on the
couch as Latrice and Jerome break the news to them.
LATRICE
With your father's recent epiphany,
we've decided to part ways.
DEVONTE
You're both in your 70's! Do you think
there's some red-hot singles scene
waiting for you out there?
JAQUAN
He's got a point. Wouldn't it be
easier to just 'wait it out'?
LATRICE
They gave your father the same pig
valve they gave Dick Cheney. He's
gonna outlive the cockroaches and I'm
75.
too old to go to prison for murder.
JEROME
The women in your mother's family
lives well into their hundreds. The
bitterness is what keeps them strong!
Latrice cuts her eyes at Jerome.
LATRICE
At any rate, this won't change how we
raise you kids!
DEMETRIA
I'm in my 40's!
LATRICE
Yet you dress like you're a color
blind 15-year-old.
Demetria covers herself with a throw pillow.
LATRICE
See? The job never stops! Honestly,
you kids were the best thing that came
out of this marriage!
JEROME
She's right! If we didn't have you, we
would've divorced 40 years ago!
LATRICE
Make it 45, you slept with my brother.
JEROME
I only slept with Darnell the one
time!
LATRICE
God, you boinked Darnell too?
KALINA
Who's going to be handling your
separation?
JEROME
We were thinking you could do it.
DEVONTE
Mama, that's insane! You can't ask
your daughter to--
Kalina runs to Latrice's side.
KALINA
He wasted almost 50 years of your life
and slept with anything with a dick
and a pulse! We're gonna take this
76.
closet case for everything he's got!
I'm talking overseas properties, stock
shares, book and film residuals--the
whole nine!
JEROME
I'll pay you twice what she'll give
you.
Kalina runs to Jerome's side.
KALINA
She forced you to hide your truth self
for almost 50 years and made you
wallow in the darkness with whatever
unwashed heathen you met at a truck
stop! When I'm done, she'll have to
buy her wigs from a habibi cornerstone
or the back of someone's truck!
DEVONTE
Kalina, sit your ass down. You're not
divorcing our parents.
Devonte gets between Latrice and Jerome.
DEVONTE
Isn't there some way for you to talk
this out?
LATRICE
I have nothing more to say to him. I'd
like to spend whatever time I have
left on this Earth being happy, not
being his beard!
JEROME
Also, I'm in good shape for 74--
DEVONTE
You have a pig's heart in your chest!
JEROME
Outside of that, I'm still hot! I'd
like to capitalize on that while I can
still get it up!
JAQUAN
You can still get it up 'unassisted'?
DEVONTE
Why are you asking him this?
JAQUAN
I'm almost 50, it'd be nice to know
what's coming.
77.
KALINA
I know an excellent divorce attorney,
he handled my first marriage. I'll
give you his number.
LATRICE
Is he attractive? I'd rather not have
your father use his sensuality to tip
the scales in his favor!
DEVONTE
Mama, that's ridiculous! Daddy would
never--
KALINA
I'll find you a female attorney.
LATRICE AND JEROME
Good idea.
Kalina and her parents discuss the details while the other
siblings look on in shock.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
25 -
Reassurance and a Promise to Quit Drinking
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM-NIGHT
Dakota is watching TV when Devonte returns home with a plate
wrapped in aluminum foil.
DAKOTA
How was the divorce thingy for your
parents?
DEVONTE
Amicable. They both got what they
wanted. Mom's keeping the family home.
Dad's moving into the lakehouse.
DAKOTA
My father's in the lakehouse.
DEVONTE
Why do you think he requested it?
Dakota points to the plate.
DAKOTA
What's that?
DEVONTE
There was a small champagne reception
to commemorate the occasion.
Devonte gives Dakota the plate who then examines it.
DAKOTA
Small reception my ass! There's enough
food here to feed a small village!
78.
DEVONTE
There was a buffet, but Usher's backup
singers killed most of it.
DAKOTA
Usher was there?
DEVONTE
Mama had him to sing 'Burn' as they
signed the paperwork.
Devonte plops onto the bed and stares at the ceiling.
DEVONTE
I can't believe my parents are
divorced!
DAKOTA
Me neither. If I was your mother, I'd
just wait him out.
DEVONTE
That's what I'm saying! The one
consistent thing in my life has been
that my parents were together! Now I
don't even have that!
DAKOTA
Babe you're 35, not 15. Why are you
taking it so hard?
DEVONTE
Because to me they always had the
perfect marriage!
DAKOTA
Eh.
Devonte sits up.
DEVONTE
What do you mean 'eh'?
DAKOTA
In hindsight, the signs were there.
DEVONTE
What do you mean?
DAKOTA
At our wedding, your dad said 'your
buttocks look stronger than
Eisenhower's chin in those pants'.
DEVONTE
God, really?
79.
DAKOTA
Before we left for our honeymoon, he
said 'you better give my son the best
strokes of his life!'
DEVONTE
What did you say?
DAKOTA
Sir, yes Sir!
Devonte looks at Dakota like he's crazy.
DAKOTA
He outranks me!
Devonte plops onto Dakota's lap.
DEVONTE
The past two months of all this
divorce business has weighed on me!
What if we're not as solid as we think
either?
DAKOTA
Is that what this is all about? Dev
just because your parents got divorced
doesn't mean we'll break up!
DEVONTE
Your parents got divorced too!
DAKOTA
Have you met my father? You can't
exactly blame my mom for that!
DEVONTE
My parents were different people!
We're very different people!
DAKOTA
Your father was so far into the closet
he was 69'ing Mr. Tumnus and your
mother spent most of her marriage on
the road! You can't compare that to
us! They never spoke to each other
about their issues! You never shut the
hell up about yours!
Dakota sits Devonte up and starts rubbing his shoulders.
DAKOTA
We have a much better sex life than
your parents! Hell, we have a sex
life!
Dakota starts kissing on Devonte's neck and putting his hands
down Devonte's shirt.
80.
DEVONTE
My mother said that if it wasn't for
the kids, they would've split years
ago.
DAKOTA
Your parents are so old they still
have their freedom papers! That
generation never split unless they
absolutely had to, especially if they
had kids.
Devonte falls silent as he thinks.
DEVONTE
Do you ever miss being with women?
DAKOTA
What? No!
DEVONTE
Be honest with me. There's only so
much another man can do for you!
Dakota gets up and starts putting on his robe and slippers.
DAKOTA
Are we really having this discussion?
DEVONTE
My father's repressed sexuality caused
him to act out! What if you're
repressing your latent desire for
vagina?
DAKOTA
I'm with you because I want to be with
you! You're taking this divorce too
personally! We're not your parents!
Dakota stands up and heads for the door.
DAKOTA
If you excuse me, I need my post-
argument beer!
Dakota reaches for the door when Devonte grabs his hand.
DEVONTE
I think you drink too much!
DAKOTA
Where is this coming from?
DEVONTE
My mother said that she held her
tongue too long and that's what made
things worse. I'm going to be more
81.
vocal about what's bothering me. What
bothers me is that you drink all the
time!
DAKOTA
I do not drink all the time, only some
of the time! I'm not slinging a cold
one back 24/7!
DEVONTE
Your clothes always smell like beer. I
wore one of your shirts and the twins
came running to me thinking I was you.
DAKOTA
If you had to take care of three kids
and a house then you'd--
DEVONTE
I did both of those and worked from
home when we were in Denver and I
still only drank at parties.
DAKOTA
That's true. You only buy it when--
DAKOTA DEVONTE
I ask you to. You ask me to.
DAKOTA
Has it gotten that bad?
DEVONTE
I've been wanting to say something,
but I didn't want to hurt your
feelings. You know I've been down that
road myself. I see you speeding down
that way and it terrifies me!
Dakota sits on the bed.
DAKOTA
I'll quit.
DEVONTE
What? Really?
DAKOTA
I don't want the kids to see me drunk
anymore. I grew up seeing my dad
constantly lost in the sauce. That's
half the reason my sister stopped
talking to him and that's most of the
reason why I did. I don't want that
for our kids.
Devonte sits down and holds Dakota.
82.
DEVONTE
Bae, I'm so proud of you! This is a
great first step!
DAKOTA
Besides, if I'm sober that gives me
more energy to make look to the
bodacious booty of yours!
Devonte tries to stifle a laugh.
DAKOTA
Too much?
DEVONTE
A little.
Devonte kisses Dakota and pulls him into bed. They start
taking their clothes off.
DAKOTA
Oh wait!
Dakota plays some music on his phone.
JA'NIAH V/O
THANK YOU!
Dakota and Devonte go back to kissing.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
26 -
A Hostile Encounter
INT. EASTMAN VAN-NIGHT
Dakota is driving along the highway as he's bopping and
singing along to some alternative rock song only white people
would care about. He sees police lights in the rear-view
mirror.
DAKOTA
Ah God, what now?
Dakota pulls over and the officer steps over to the window.
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
Hey there buddy! You got a busted tail
out back!
DAKOTA
Aw really? I used to let my father
drive this so he probably dinged it
up!
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
You were also going pretty darn fast!
DAKOTA
Sorry about that! I'm in a rush to get
to my kids!
83.
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
I understand entirely! I've got two
little girls myself! Lemme just see
your license and registration to make
sure everything's straight and you're
good to go!
Dakota hands the officer his information. The officer stares
at his license.
DAKOTA
Is something wrong?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
Dakota Marquise Eastman?
Dakota fidgets nervously as the officer is becoming more
visibly hostile.
DAKOTA
My mother was half--
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
Step out of the car please.
DAKOTA
I'm sorry--what?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
OUT OF THE CAR NOW!
EXT. HIGHWAY-NIGHT
The officer pulls open the door and grabs Dakota out of the
car. Dakota gets to his feet to see a gun pointed at him.
DAKOTA
Aw nigga no! Why you gotta--
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR AND IN THE
AIR WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!
DAKOTA
Do you want me to touch the car or the
air?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
ONCE AGAIN, PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR
AND IN THE AIR AND HAND ME YOUR
REGISTRATION FOR THIS VEHICLE!
DAKOTA
What the--how am I supposed to do all
three? Do you think I stole this car?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
Black guy in a neighborhood like this
84.
driving in a car that costs more than
my house? Who's to say?
DAKOTA
You thought I was white 45 seconds
ago!
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
I didn't know you were incognergo!
The officer fires a warning shot.
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
HANDS ON THE CAR AND IN THE AIR AND
ONE FOOT UP AND RECITE THE ALPHABET IN
SPANISH!
DAKOTA
I'm not drunk--do you just want an
excuse to kill me?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
YES!
INT. JAQUAN SQUAD CAR-NIGHT
JaQuan is driving home when he sees someone pulled over ahead
of him. He leans in to see it's Dakota.
JAQUAN
It was only a matter of time!
EXT. HIGHWAY
JaQuan pulls up and exits the vehicle. The officer points the
gun at him until JaQuan shows him his badge.
JAQUAN
What'd he do?
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
HE'S BLACK BUT HE LOOKS WHITE AND I'M
SCARED AND THE MEDS ARE WEARING OFF!
JAQUAN
Listen Officer--
Jaquan reads the officer's badge.
JAQUAN
Wimberly, is it? Why don't you put the
gun away, return to your vehicle and
drive as fast and as far from here as
you can!
HIGHWAY DEPUTY
BUT SIR HE'S NOT ONE OF THE GOOD ONES
LIKE YOU!
85.
JAQUAN
Son if you don't give up now, you're
gonna be the focus of more protests
than BP after an oil spill and it'll
be just as black! Put the gun away, go
home for the night and maybe consider
working from home!
The officer withdraws his gun, returns to his car and exits.
JAQUAN
You alright?
DAKOTA
Thanks to you! I thought I was deader
than dead!
JAQUAN
Eh these white boys out here get
startled easily. You gotta know how to
play to 'em.
DAKOTA
I appreciate you JaQuan!
Dakota hugs JaQuan who is hesitant but hugs him back.
JAQUAN
You're welcome Dakota.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
27 -
Devonte and Dakota's Night Out with Past Tensions Unresolved
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM-NIGHT
Devonte is getting ready to go out as he checks himself in
the mirror.
DEVONTE
Are you ready yet?
INT. TWINS ROOM-NIGHT
The twins are running around the room and Dakota is
struggling to keep up with them.
DAKOTA
I'm working on it! Ja'Niah come help
me!
JA'NIAH V/O
I didn't birth them!
DEVONTE V/O
La'Shonda and LaDarius are already
there waiting for us!
DAKOTA
It's a twenty minute drive, I think
they can survive! Didn't you call a
sitter?
86.
The twins start throwing things at Dakota.
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM
Devonte is touching up his makeup. We see Dakota chasing the
twins around the hallway in the background.
DEVONTE
I tried but everyone else was booked
and my mother's currently at some
vaginal rejuvenation retreat for Black
women over 60.
DAKOTA
Then who'd you get?
There's a knock from downstairs.
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM-NIGHT
Dakota runs downstairs to get the door and is greeted by
Grady.
GRADY
Evening son.
DAKOTA
What are you doing here?
GRADY
I'm here to spend time with my
grandchildren while you two go watch a
French clown blow himself.
Devonte comes downstairs.
DEVONTE
I asked him to watch the kids, we were
out of options.
Dakota pulls Devonte to the side.
DAKOTA
You know how I feel about him being
alone with them!
DEVONTE
It was either him or my aunt who keeps
trying to introduce me to women!
Devonte crosses to Grady.
DEVONTE
Make sure Ja'Niah's in bed by 9 and
the twins can't have anymore sugar.
GRADY
But I made brownies!
87.
DEVONTE
If you wanna deal with two pint sized
crackheads, be my guest.
Devonte exits with Dakota following him while giving Grady
the side-eye.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
28 -
Late Arrival at Cirque de Ebony: Discussing Afrofuturism and Atlanta's Political Future
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY LOBBY-NIGHT
Devonte and Dakota enter and cross to La'Shonda and LADARIUS,
a mid-40's handsome Black male with a 'shake hands, kiss
babies' politician vibe, who are having drinks.
DEVONTE
Sorry we're late! The kids weren't
cooperating!
LA'SHONDA
Why don't you just have the maids give
them Nyquil popsicles like we do?
DAKOTA
Because we'd like them to not write
tell-all books about us in 20 years.
DEVONTE
Has it started yet?
LA'SHONDA
Not yet, but they've started showing
people to their seats.
DAKOTA
I'm confused, what exactly is this
again?
LA'SHONDA
It's the Black man's answer to Cirque
du Soleil.
DAKOTA
What is it then? A bunch of brothas
squeezed into latex crumping on wires
to trap music?
LA'SHONDA
No that was last year's show. This
year is an ode to Afrofuturism!
LADARIUS
I don't think we've met! I'm Devonte's
cousin LaDarius Braithwaite, you may
have heard I'm running for mayor.
DAKOTA
I've definitely been told that you'd
tell me you were.
88.
LADARIUS
Have you two registered to vote in
Georgia yet?
LA'SHONDA
Not now Darius.
LADARIUS
Quiet woman. Dakota, this upcoming
election is one of the most pivotal
ones in our lifetimes. We will be
choosing the direction--no, the
destiny of our city and our nation for
generations!
DAKOTA
I had no idea the Mayor of Atlanta was
so important!
DEVONTE
It's like homebase for negroes here.
He's like T'Challa in Timbs if he
wins.
LADARIUS
You jest but I want to make Atlanta
the real life Wakanda in all the ways
that count!
LA'SHONDA
Great, when are you bringing in the
CIA?
The ushers start gesturing to them.
LA'SHONDA
Thank God!
La'Shonda latches onto Dakota as the enter the theater.
Devonte and LaDarius both catch onto her body language.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
29 -
Dinner Chaos
INT. EASTMAN KITCHEN-NIGHT
Grady is struggling to get the twins ready for dinner as
Ja'Niah plays on her Nintendo Switch. The food on the stove
is boiling over.
GRADY
Ja'Niah, help Grampy with the food!
JA'NIAH
Sure, one second.
The twins jump onto Grady and start hitting him.
GRADY
NOW!
89.
Ja'Niah gets up and tends to the stove.
JA'NIAH
Geesh, if I wanted to get yelled at my
dads could've just stayed home!
There's a knock on the front door.
GRADY
Hold on!
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM
Grady trudges to the front door with the twins in tow. He
answers the door to find Jerome waiting there.
GRADY
Hey there Jerome! Wasn't expecting you
to come over!
JEROME
I was in the neighborhood, may I come
in?
Grady steps aside and lets Jerome in.
JEROME
I heard you were babysitting, how it's
going?
Grady stares at Jerome deadpan as the twin yank his hair and
ears.
GRADY
Just swell.
Jerome snaps his fingers.
JEROME
Down, now.
The twins get down and stand in a military style.
JEROME
To your room til called for, pronto.
The twins march upstairs.
GRADY
How'd you do that?
Jerome makes flirtatious eyes at Grady.
JEROME
I can be quite dominant and commanding
when I need to be.
Ja'Niah walks into the room and observes.
90.
GRADY
I've always had a soft side.
JEROME
Maybe I can toughen you up.
GRADY
Don't be too rough now!
JEROME
Only if you ask me to!
Grady and Jerome share a laugh as they exit into the kitchen.
Ja'Niah stares in disbelief.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
30 -
Campaign Event Confrontation at Cirque de Ebony Stadium
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY STADIUM
The show consists of Black trapeze artists and clowns
performing the most stereotypical display of Black culture
but on wires while dressed like they're from a futuristic
90's hip hop video as African drums mixed with trap beats
play in the background. LaDarius is drowning Devonte with
buzz quotes from his campaign.
LADARIUS
The LGBT community is a critical
component to the tapestry that is the
city of Atlanta. If you and your
husband vote for me, I'll ensure that
you two can keep on twerking to the
tune of equality as long as you live
in this city!
La'Shonda is rubbing up against Dakota.
DAKOTA
Had a bit too much to drink, huh?
LA'SHONDA
I always get cold when I get tipsy.
La'Shonda puts her hands under Dakota's shirt.
DAKOTA
Getting a little handsy there!
LA'SHONDA
You're so solid and strong! It's a
shame you don't like women!
DAKOTA
Actually, I'm bi.
Dakota looks as if to say 'why'd I bring that up?'.
LA'SHONDA
You never miss the embrace of a
woman's touch?
91.
DAKOTA
Have you seen how much makeup Dev's
wearing right now? I'm not missing out
on much!
Devonte notices La'Shonda grabbing on Dakota.
DEVONTE
Hey bae, I'm thirsty. You and Darius
go get some drinks.
LADARIUS
That'll give us some time so I can
detail my new property tax plan!
Dakota sighs deeply as he and LaDarius exit. Devonte sits
closer to La'Shonda.
DEVONTE
If you want us to remain cool, stop
touching on my man.
LA'SHONDA
Girl you know I don't mean nothing by
it!
DEVONTE
I'm serious! I don't know what you and
Darius got going on but leave us out
of it!
LA'SHONDA
LaDarius wouldn't mind, if anything it
was his idea.
DEVONTE
What are you saying?
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
31 -
LaDarius' Inappropriate Advances: A Night at the Bar
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY LOBBY
LaDarius and Dakota are at the bar waiting for their drinks.
LADARIUS
Have you been adjusting well to
Atlanta?
DAKOTA
It's a lot different Colorado, I can
tell you that.
LADARIUS
Perhaps when you're not busy playing
wife for Devonte, La'Shonda and I
could give you a lay of the land.
DAKOTA
I'm down for that but--
92.
LaDarius dances his fingers on Dakota's hand up to his arm.
DAKOTA
What are you doing?
LADARIUS
She was right, these arms are
incredible!
DAKOTA
Dude you're married!
LADARIUS
It's Atlanta! The women chase clout
while the men chase each other!
Besides my wife knows, she's the one
who brought up the idea.
LaDarius starts massaging Dakota's arms.
LADRIUS
What I'd give to feel those god-like
hands choking me as you took me like a
cheap whore!
DAKOTA
What idea?
LADARIUS
I don't want to make this awkward with
Devonte being my cousin, but I'm quite
attracted to you. In fact, you've
revived the spark in our marriage!
DAKOTA
I'm flattered but--
Dakota receives his drink and starts downing it.
LADARIUS
We want you to impregnate her.
Dakota spits out his drink.
DAKOTA
I beg your fucking pardon?
LADARIUS
I can only get it up when I think of
other men and I can't afford that kind
of scandal right now. But we want a
child and we want him to look like
you.
DAKOTA
What kind of weird internalized-racist
eugenics bullshit is this?
93.
Dakota is given another drink but while he's not paying
attention LaDarius slips something in it. He gets up close on
Dakota and caresses him.
LADARIUS
I've loved the taste of smooth, sweet
caramel colored skin for years!
LaDarius sniffs Dakota's hair and licks his neck.
LADARIUS
My kingdom needs and heir and I want
your seed to do it! I want my son to
look like the men I've always adored!
Dakota pushes LaDarius off and quickly downs his drink.
DAKOTA
This shit is too weird!
LADARIUS
We don't want any financial
compensation from you! We just want a
light skinned baby!
Dakota backs away from LaDarius quickly but then gets dizzy.
He stumbles into the bathroom. LaDarius texts someone.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
32 -
Attempted Rape and Escape at Cirque de Ebony
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY STADIUM
La'Shonda receives a text and smiles.
LA'SHONDA
I'll be back.
La'Shonda gets up and leaves.
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY DRESSING ROOM
Dakota wakes up and finds himself naked with LaDarius and
La'Shonda having sex with him. He freaks out and pushes them
off.
DAKOTA
WHAT THE FUCK?
LA'SHONDA
Just lie back down and--
DAKOTA
How did I get--did you drug me?
LADARIUS
It was nothing that'll hurt you! We
just wanted to worship you together!
DAKOTA
I'm calling the police!
94.
LADARIUS
We don't need to do that!
Dakota pulls out his phone and starts recording.
DAKOTA
This is LaDarius and La'Shonda
Braithwaite! They drugged me and raped
me so they could have a Steph Curry
clone of their own!
LA'SHONDA
Get the phone!
LaDarius advances towards Dakota but he gets punched out.
Dakota turns to leave but La'Shonda jumps on his back. Dakota
starts texting.
INT. CIRQUE DE EBONY STADIUM
Devonte gets a text and sees a pic of La'Shonda clawing at a
terrified Dakota. He quickly exits.
Moments later, La'Shonda is chased out onto the stage by
Devonte with Dakota being chased by LaDarius. The performers
continue with the show as is incorporating the foursome into
the act.
Devonte starts beating La'Shonda's ass while LaDarius
continues to try and seduce Dakota with the clowns aiding in
the act.
INT. EASTMAN LIVING ROOM
Grady and Jerome are watching some old war movie together
while drinking and smoking cigars. Devonte and Dakota come
home looking like they came home from war.
GRADY
How was the show?
Dakota wordlessly goes upstairs and then screams.
DEVONTE
I'll never forget it. Dad, why are you
here?
JEROME
I came to help Grady with the kids. By
the way, we have an announcement.
DEVONTE
You've decided to stop wearing wigs
because no one is convinced besides
the hairdresser whose kids you're
sending to college?
95.
JEROME
Grady and I are moving in together!
DEVONTE
I had assumed he was at the lakehouse
with you anyway. Grady where have you
been staying?
GRADY
Ethel's been putting me up in a condo
she owns in Midtown as a reward for
giving her the best orgasm since
Clinton was in office.
DEVONTE
I'm way too exhausted to fight either
of you on those so good luck.
Devonte starts walking upstairs.
DEVONTE
By the way, Darius and Shonda tried to
rape Dakota so they could have a
redbone baby. Maybe don't invite them
to the next reunion.
Devonte goes upstairs. Grady and Jerome sit in shock.
Genres:
["Drama","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
33 -
A Heartfelt Conversation on Race and Colorism
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM
Dakota is lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Devonte
enters and starts getting undressed.
DAKOTA
I have never been more aware of my
skin tone until I moved here!
DEVONTE
How do you think I feel? One of my
oldest friends and my own blood tried
to rape my husband because of some
weird plantation era breeding fetish!
I swear I thought Quan was finna fall
out right there when we told him the
deal!
DAKOTA
Are you only with me because you
wanted light skinned babies?
DEVONTE
Don't be ridiculous! We used both our
sperm!
DAKOTA
But you wanted Ja'Niah to be mine too.
96.
DEVONTE
That doesn't mean I--
DAKOTA
You wanted both donors to be white
until I mentioned using family
instead! Every single guy you've dated
has been no darker than a paper bag!
You're harder on Ja'Niah than you are
on the twins!
DEVONTE
The twins are two.
DAKOTA
Would you have married me if I were
dark skinned?
Devonte is about to respond but then pauses.
DAKOTA
What is the obsession with light skin?
I don't tan! My hair won't hold a
style! I've invested a fortune in skin
cream so I don't look like Dick Van
Dyke by 45! What is so good about
being light?
DEVONTE
I've always been the fat dark one.
DAKOTA
You're not fat, you're thick.
DEVONTE
Tell that to the guys who told me 'nah
it's just a preference' my whole life
while they galloped into the arms of
some Biracial Brandon! 'You're too
nappy!' 'You're too dark!' You're too
this!, You're too that!' I've heard it
since I can remember having ears! I
got tired of being treated like old
fruit, so I wanted to know what the
hype was.
DAKOTA
Dev you have to know that being dark
doesn't make you any more or less of a
person!
DEVONTE
Yes I know that but I don't always
feel it! When I'm with you, people
like at me like I'm somebody!
DAKOTA
YOU'RE RICH!
97.
DEVONTE
They don't know that! Being light gets
you in so many doors that I could
never walk through even though I'm
rich!
DAKOTA
I grew up so poor my mom glued
cardboard to the soles of my shoes!
You grew up spending your summers in
The Bahamas with the Obamas!
DEVONTE
I summered in Nassau with the Powells,
not the Obamas. Also, you're saying
that you're not with me because I'm
dark?
DAKOTA
What are you saying?
DEVONTE
The first year we dated you called me
'chocolate' or 'mocha' or other poorly
advised food related nicknames more
than my actual name!
DAKOTA
I was being cute!
DEVONTE
I thought you were a cracka with a
race fetish and a half-assed Jheri
curl until I saw family photos! You
love that you got to be top dog over
someone darker than you for most of
our relationship!
DAKOTA
Does a part of me get off on
dominating you because you're darker
than me? Yes! Do I like the way our
skin contrasts when I hold you? Yes!
Do I love seeing my throbbing white
dick in your fat Black ass? Hell yeah!
Why do you think we have sex every
day? But I'm a person Dev, a real ass
person! As my husband, the person I've
decided to spend the rest of my life
with, I need you to be able to see me,
the real me, not just the version that
fits into your fantasy!
DEVONTE
I do, I see you Dakota. I like how you
look but this would've gone nowhere if
I didn't love who you are! Does this
mean you don't want to race play in
98.
bed anymore?
DAKOTA
Hell no! Shit's hot as hell! Take them
clothes off right now sexy chocolate!
Devonte starts getting naked.
DEVONTE
Anything you say 'massa'!
Dakota strips off his clothes.
DAKOTA
Bend that ass over for me boy!
Dakota and Devonte get into bed and start making out.
GRADY V/O
You know we can hear you right?
JA'NIAH V/O
They don't care!
Devonte plays some music and they go back to making love.
Genres:
["Drama","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
34 -
Dakota's Healthy Substitutions Cause a Stir, but Latrice's Invitation Offers a Hopeful Resolution
INT. EASTMAN KITCHEN-DAY
Dakota is feeding the twins while Devonte and Ja'Niah are
cooking breakfast together.
DAKOTA
I can't wait til the twins are big
enough so I can teach them how to
cook!
DEVONTE
Yes and then I'll teach them how to do
it properly.
DAKOTA
No one's gotten food poisoning since,
I think.
DEVONTE
You are getting better, I'll give you
some credit.
DAKOTA
I'm just not used to how much butter
and animal fat you guys use!
DEVONTE
It's for the flavor! Fat tastes good!
DAKOTA
I'd also like to not be a widower
before I'm 40! That butter you're
99.
using is actually plant butter!
Devonte and Ja'Niah look aghast.
JA'NIAH
How could you do this? A parent's
supposed to protect their child!
DEVONTE
I'd rather you were just having an
affair!
DAKOTA
Would you both relax? It tastes
exactly the same and your hearts will
thank you!
DEVONTE
What else have you replaced that I
don't know about?
DAKOTA
I poured cashew milk into the regular
milk container. I switched out all the
ice cream with non-dairy frozen
yogurt. Most of that bacon is turkey.
JA'NIAH
Papa can we go out to eat?
DEVONTE
Yes sweetie, we'll go to one of Nana's
restaurants for chicken and waffles!
Go get dressed!
Ja'Niah runs out of the kitchen.
DAKOTA
If I have to give up alcohol, you need
to eat healthier.
DEVONTE
Those are not comparable!
DAKOTA
Isn't it? All that pork and lard and
butter you eat, that shit'll kill ya!
Do it for the kids! We don't want them
ending up like the rest of your
family!
DEVONTE
I did have an aunt who nearly needed a
wheel barrel for her breasts. Alright,
I'll do it! How hard could it be?
LATRICE
Nevermind. Dakota, what plans did
y'all have for Thanksgiving?
DAKOTA
I assumed we were going over to your
house.
LATRICE
We are but I was thinking, what if you
cooked with me?
DAKOTA
Me? Cook over there?
LATRICE
Yes, what's so strange about it?
DAKOTA
You don't even like me cooking over
here!
LATRICE
It's a tradition that every year the
women of the family get together and
cook the night before Thanksgiving so
everything's ready the day of. I
figured it'd be nice to add you to our
tradition.
DAKOTA
Because I'm one of the women in the
family?
LATRICE
In a sense, yes. You are fulfilling
the womanlier parts of your
relationship these days. I also think
it'd be a nice way for you to connect
with the rest of the family.
Ja'Niah reenters in a different outfit.
DAKOTA
I'm in!
LATRICE
Wonderful! We're gonna have so much
fun!
101.
DAKOTA
We are! I was thinking why don't we
try to do a heart healthy
Thanksgiving?
Devonte and Ja'Niah gasp with horror.
LATRICE
What would that entail?
DAKOTA
We could use tofu bacon instead of
pig's feet for the green beans!
Devonte reacts like he's just been shot.
DAKOTA
The cornbread could be gluten free!
Devonte bowls over as if he's dying. He clings to whatever he
can to support himself.
LATRICE
Should we go all out and do a vegan
Thanksgiving?
Devonte collapses on the ground. Ja'Niah begins doing CPR.
DAKOTA
Something tells me that's a step too
far, vegetarian works.
LATRICE
This is so exciting! I can't wait to
break it to the girls! I'll call you
and tell you the details!
Latrice hugs Dakota as she exits.
DAKOTA
I think your mom is finally starting
to like me!
Devonte crawls to his feet.
DEVONTE
She might like you but you're going to
be spending the whole evening with my
sisters, my aunts, cousins,
grandmother and sister-in-law! That's
at least ten loud, domineering, pushy,
aggressive and highly opinionated
Black women all zeroed in on you!
DAKOTA
I can handle it!
102.
DEVONTE
Without alcohol?
A look of dread creeps across Dakota's face.
DAKOTA
Am I still allowed to smoke?
Devonte smiles as he shakes his head no. Dakota looks like he
wants to cry.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
35 -
Dakota's Unconventional Thanksgiving and Past
INT. IN-LAWS KITCHEN-NIGHT
Dakota is basting a large turkey while the rest of the women
work around and beside him.
KALINA
What's that you're basting the turkey
with?
DAKOTA
After you all jumped me for suggesting
a meat-free Thanksgiving--
DEMETRIA
Cause that's white bitch shit and we
ain't with it!
The rest of the women noise in agreement.
DAKOTA
I decided to say 'fuck it' and just do
my usual rum and orange juice
marinade.
KALINA
What else do you normally put it in?
DAKOTA
If I've got it, some coke.
DEMETRIA
Ooh bitch you feisty!
DAKOTA
The drink Demetria.
Demetria deflates with disappointment.
ETHEL
I remember when I tried going healthy
for my first husband. He wanted us to
go vegan so we could live longer.
DAKOTA
What's so bad about that?
103.
ETHEL
In the 15 years we were married, I
orgasmed five times and one of them
wasn't even with him!
LATRICE
That's enough Mother!
ETHEL
Honey relax! We got the DNA test
proving you're not the gardener's
baby!
DAKOTA
Also, I have an idea about dessert.
Instead of sweet potato pie--
Everyone stops what they're doing and stare daggers at
Dakota.
DAKOTA
When you look at me like that I feel
like a cobra surrounded by a bunch of
diabetic mongoose.
KALINA
And armed too, proceed.
DAKOTA
My mom had this really good recipe for
carrot pie that's much healthier for
you and tastes just as good!
ETHEL
Despite my granddaughter's teeth, we
are not rabbits!
KALINA
You said the shaving worked!
ETHEL
I was referring to your lip! You
looked like Billy Dee Williams before!
Devonte's aunt MARLENA, a late 60's Black female with a
church lady vibe, speaks up
MARLENA
Since you two have moved back to
Atlanta, have you found a church home?
DAKOTA
It hasn't really been a priority.
MARLENA
And why not!
104.
DAKOTA
We're not all that religious.
All of the women gasp.
DAKOTA
Half of you are divorced, cheating on
your husbands, in and out rehab and
Dee's been locked up twice for fraud!
DEMETRIA
I still bring my ass to church on
Sunday before shaking bitches down on
Monday!
DAKOTA
Sounds more like hypocrisy!
MARLENA
The church is an anchor of the Black
community! It's where the Civil Rights
Movement was born. It was entire music
genres sprang from. It's been our
people's refuge from the outside world
for 300 years. I would be remiss if
the children grew up without such an
integral component to their heritage!
LATRICE
Your father never instilled any sense
of religion in you?
DAKOTA
He had me praying he wasn't my real
dad if that means anything.
LATRICE
What about your mother?
DAKOTA
She went on holidays but outside of
that we were lazy Catholics.
MARLENA
Catholics! Not even real Christians!
KALINA
I know of this LGBT affirming church,
it's a mega ministry honestly. The
pastor himself is married to a man.
Most of the congregation is gays and
lesbians with families.
MARLENA
See? Just because you're a homosexual
deviant that has seduced my nephew
into your sinful lifestyle doesn't
mean you can't still praise The Lord!
105.
Devonte's cousin SHAQUEENA, a mid 30's Black female who looks
like a Real Housewife or maybe a Basketball Wife, speaks up.
SHAQUEENA
My question is who be doing the
bending?
DAKOTA
God not this question...
SHAQUEENA
Some of us want to know! I ain't no
hater baby! I watch me a lot of gay
men's porn!
MARLENA
You do what?
SHAQUEENA
Mama it be hot as hell! They be doing
all the sensual and sensitive and
romantic shit we be asking them to do
for us, but with each other! It's
better than straight porn for me!
DEMETRIA
She got a point! Them niggas be
getting it in!
SHAQUEENA
Okay? If men can like lesbians, why
can't we like watching two sexy ass
men hunch?
Kalina pulls up a video on her phone and starts reacting.
KALINA
By Cochran's Ghost, you're right!
The other women crowd over Kalina. Dakota leans over out of
curiosity but then becomes red with shame.
ETHEL
The one who'll need a knee replacement
after this reminds me of a young Harry
Belafonte!
LATRICE
I don't think I've ever seen a man
make love to a woman like this!
[scoffs] The gays get everything!
DEMETRIA
That red boy's gonna need some type of
reconstructive surgery after taking
all that meat!
Devonte's aunt CHARLENE, a mid 60's Black woman wearing
106.
scrubs, speaks up.
CHARLENE
Honey I'd love to get that call!
Charlene rewinds the video and then looks at Dakota.
CHARLENE
Hold on...
Charlene rewinds the video again and pauses it and holds it
up to Dakota's face.
CHARLENE
Ain't no way!
LATRICE
What is it Charlene?
Latrice stands to Charlene's side to see what she sees and
gasps.
LATRICE
Dakota is that young man getting his
bladder punctured you?
DAKOTA
I was 18 and needed the money!
KALINA
My brother married a porn star?
DAKOTA
I was really more like a porn
character actor! I only did it for a
few years before I joined the Marines!
LATRICE
And were you always the one--the one
who--y'know--
SHAQUEENA
Gets they pussy blown apart like
Normandy on D-Day?
Everyone looks at Shaqueena surprised but she smiles proudly
while twirling her hair.
SHAQUEENA
I've been watching Ken Burns!
DAKOTA
Yes, I was usually the bottom. White
guys liked dominating a Black guy and
Black guys like dominating a mixed
guy.
107.
LATRICE
How did you prepare for 'all of that'?
SHAQUEENA
Yeah gurl cause them niggas was hung!
DAKOTA
Couple lines of coke, several bottles
of lube and a coffee enema to kick
things off did me just fine.
Shaqueena is still looking at the video.
SHAQUEENA
Goddamn baby can you take some dick!
I'm so happy for my cousin!
Dakota takes her phone away.
DEMETRIA
You mean to tell me with all them abs
and strong shoulders, you the woman?
DAKOTA
For the money, yes. In my marriage,
no.
CHARLENE
Outside of cooking all his meals,
cleaning his house, raising his kids
and being available to him sexually
whenever he wants, right?
DAKOTA
That doesn't make me the woman
Charlene!
CHARLENE
Sugar I didn't say there was something
wrong with it! I'm the Head of
Traumatic Surgery at my hospital! My
Lamar knows that after I get home from
a 14-hour shift there better be
dinner, a drink and some dick waiting
for me! But your situation ain't all
that bad!
ETHEL
She's right! Now that you're the woman
you can use that against him!
DAKOTA
How?
ETHEL
Sex. He wants it all the time and
anytime, right?
108.
DAKOTA
Usually, yes.
ETHEL
Make him work for it, make him beg for
it. My second husband once tried to
buy the Lakers for me because they
were my favorite team.
DAKOTA
What happened?
ETHEL
I ended up sleeping with Kareem Abdul-
Jabbar, so he bought the Pistons
instead.
CHARLENE
When I was still in medical school,
Lamar used to do anything for me if he
knew it meant I'd do anything for him
in the bedroom. My parents were loaded
and I still got that man to pay for my
college!
ETHEL
Thank God you got my ass and not your
father's!
DAKOTA
What else could I do?
SHAQUEENA
Get male friends that make him jealous
so he knows you have options for when
he steps out of line.
DAKOTA
You want me to cheat on him?
SHAQUEENA
What part of that sentence suggested
you start guzzling glizzys? Nah gurl!
I'm saying get you some niggas who
wanna smash and have no problem making
that known to you and him!
KALINA
So when he starts complaining about
why you spent 15,000 to have your
office renovated--
DEMETRIA
Or he gets upset that you ended up
violating probation again--
ETHEL
Or he's Nick Ashford and he's saying
109.
that his wife is about to find out and
you need to stop leaving marks on him!
The others look at Ethel like she's crazy.
ETHEL
Like you wouldn't have!
SHAQUEENA
That's when you not so quietly remind
him that you got a whole squad of
niggas on speed dial!
DAKOTA
I'll keep that in mind since I've been
wanting to convert the basement into a
man cave!
SHAQUEENA
Bleach that bussy then put it work!
Dakota finishes the turkey and puts it in the fridge and
notices something.
DAKOTA
Latrice, a word please.
Latrice walks over to Dakota.
LATRICE
What's wrong?
Dakota points to the pig's head in a bowl.
LATRICE
Oh that! I'm making hog's head cheese
later but I'm letting it soak first!
DAKOTA
Hog's head--what?
CHINUA
You've never had hog's head cheese?
It's a delicacy! One I hadn't heard of
until I came to this backwards
country, but a delicacy nonetheless!
DAKOTA
How exactly do you make it?
LATRICE
You put the head in a meat grinder
with onions, hot peppers, vinegar
garlic--what have you--then grind it
all up into a fine paste! It's great
on sandwiches, cornbread or--
110.
KALINA
Hangovers. Trust me, it's amazing.
DAKOTA
That's a little too ethnic for me.
CHINUA
After I told your father I was married
to get him to stop grabbing my ass, he
mentioned he grew up in Louisiana.
KALINA
Is he Creole? I swear his hairline
sometimes gives me Octoroon vibes!
DAKOTA
He might be up I honestly don't know
much about his background. My dad's
got ten other kids with six other
women. He wasn't really raising
anybody.
DEMETRIA
White women be letting anybody run up
in them!
LATRICE
Them and your grandmother.
ETHEL
I said I was sorry!
DAKOTA
Actually, my dad's other baby mommas
are all Black, like ashy elbows and
hot combs Black. How he managed that
in Colorado of all places I don't
know. But I'm the lightest one out of
all his kids.
MARLENA
Men are disgusting!
DAKOTA
Tell me about it! I've actually caught
Devonte looking at other men!
Everyone crowds around Dakota.
DEMETRIA
You telling stories!
Dakota pours himself a drink.
DAKOTA
Girl, let me tell you about your
brother!
111.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
36 -
Girls' Night Turns Emotional
INT. IN-LAWS KITCHEN-SAME NIGHT
Dakota and the women are now drinking and smoking weed as
they cook. They're laughing and carrying on, just having a
good time. One of the cousins is braiding Dakota's hair. It's
like a scene from Waiting to Exhale.
SHAQUEENA
He flew you halfway across the
country, uprooted your entire life and
didn't even mention once for ten years
he was rich?
DAKOTA
Chile I was so mad I nearly ended up
on the First 48!
Everyone laughs as they pour more drinks.
KALINA
Men don't wanna tell us nothing! My
first husband didn't even tell me he
was still married to another woman
until I was literally in labor with
our daughter!
DAKOTA
Gurl no!
KALINA
I tell the truth! He's lucky I had an
epidural and wasn't in reach of my
strap cause he woulda been one cooked
goose!
Everyone laughs as they pour more drinks again.
CHINUA
JaQuan once forgot my birthday even
though it's the same day we got
married! So instead of coming clean,
he tried to throw me a surprise
birthday party complete with Ashanti
and Nelly performing but it was on
April 18th! My birthday is May 3rd!
That slutty deputy he's partnered
with, her birthday is April 18th! But
don't worry, I got back at him!
DAKOTA
How?
CHINUA
I paid her not to have an abortion! I
still get everything in the pre-nup
when I divorce him so I hope he has
fun paying child support for triplets!
112.
Everyone laughs and goes to pour a drink but they're out.
LATRICE
Hold on!
Latrice exits and returns with a large Bible. She returns and
it has a bottle of rum in it. Everyone cheers.
DAKOTA
Getting back to Dev, this man knows
I'm not a bottom! But when I tell you
I'd need a bear trap to keep him out
of my ass! I'm like 'nigga it ain't
happening so either enjoy this dick or
cough up for a hooker!'
CHARLENE
Baby I know that's right! My first
husband once asked me to eat his ass!
SHAQUEENA
Ooh Auntie I know you didn't!
CHARLENE
Gurl I was ready to knock that negro
into another zip code for asking me
that nasty shit! I told him to get him
a white bitch if he wants to do all
that! He did and the dirty hoe gave
'em the clap! Serves him right!
DAKOTA
Ugh chile I be sick of these white
hoes! I swear Devonte be scoping for
them pasty bitches all the time when
we be out!
Kalina sighs as she pours another drink.
KALINA
My brother has always had a
predilection for corruptive color
redacted negroes, present company
excluded of course.
SHAQUEENA
You need to check him before he ends
up in Blake Griffin again!
The other women noise in agreement.
DAKOTA
He slept with Blake Griffin?
SHAQUEENA
A few times but it wasn't big enough.
Dakota takes a moment to process this and moves on.
113.
DAKOTA
Despite it all, I still love that man.
Warts and all.
Everyone else but Latrice seem to agree.
DEMETRIA
Third time was the charm for me!
SHAQUEENA
I'm Jabari's fourth wife so I don't
think he has it in him to do it all
over again!
ETHEL
Scotty Pippin was an amazing lover!
DAKOTA
I never thought it'd happen but I
found my soulmate.
Latrice gets so overcome she cries as she runs outside.
DAKOTA
Oh God, I didn't mean to--
MARLENA
She's been like this off and on for
months, it's not your fault.
KALINA
It's daddy's for not having come out
years ago!
CHINUA
I don't know how a man could keep a
secret like that for so long! Did he
have no respect for her at all?
CHARLENE
It was the most chickenshit thing he
could've ever done! My poor sister was
in love with that man, nearly
worshipped the ground he walked on!
MARLENA
And he up and goes and sleeps with
every Tom, Dick and Harry he meets!
CHARLENE
Probably a few Larry, Curly and Moes
too!
MARLENA
Just disgraceful! He wasted the best
years of her life! If I were her I
don't know what I'd do!
114.
LATRICE V/O
I can still hear y'all!
Everyone looks ashamed as Dakota steps outside.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
37 -
Latrice's Fear and Request
EXT. IN-LAWS BACK PORCH-NIGHT
Dakota enters the porch. Latrice is staring up at the sky
while smoking a cigarette.
DAKOTA
Hey Latrice, I didn't mean to--
LATRICE
I'm not mad at you Dakota.
Latrice gestures for him to sit and he does.
LATRICE
I admit I got overwhelmed but it's
nothing to do with you. I'm still
coping with how I spent the last five
decades of my life.
DAKOTA
Y'know with science these days they
say people can live until they're a
hundred!
LATRICE
That'd be great if I knew what I
wanted to do for the next thirty
years.
DAKOTA
You still have your career.
LATRICE
There's only so far you can go in
gospel music. I think I've reached
that plateau long ago.
DAKOTA
There's acting, producing, directing--
LATRICE
I get what you're trying to do but I'm
72. I thought at this stage of my
life, I'd just cruise into whatever's
next with the man of my dreams beside
me. But instead, I spent so many years
pretending not to notice that man
wanted anyone but me. You know wanna
know why I really stayed with Jerome?
Because I was scared. By the time we
had Kalina, I knew he wasn't the man
for me. Depraved sexual habits aside,
he's a demanding demeaning and
115.
detestable son of bitch! I truly could
not stand that man! But I thought 'who
else would want a single mother in her
30's?' Nevermind that I come from a
wealthy family. Nevermind that I had
an illustrious career. Something
within me was afraid I'd never attract
another man. Why that was my major
concern I'll never know.
Latrice takes a long drag from her cigarette.
LATRICE
I feel for you Dakota, I really do.
Jerome's family never took to me
either. They didn't like that I was
dark. They didn't like that I was
American. They didn't like I had been
married before. But I will say that
Jerome always defended me. Maybe
that's because he knew he needed a
beard but he refused to let them walk
all over me. He'd let 'em walk
halfway, but never all over me. But
Devonte has never faltered in his
support of you. I admit it has taken
me a while to get used to know but if
my son thinks the world of you, why
can't I?
Dakota is genuinely touched.
DAKOTA
Thank you Latrice! I've grown quite
fond of you too!
LATRICE
Since we're such good friends now, I
need a favor.
DAKOTA
What is it?
LATRICE
I want to move in with you and
Devonte. This house has too many
memories, I need a fresh start.
DAKOTA
Latrice I'm honored you'd want to live
with us but you have three other
children!
LATRICE
You've met my other children. That's
not a fresh start unless you're
counting the new liquor store I'd
frequent. Besides, if you do this I'll
116.
back you up on the man-cave.
DAKOTA
Can't wait to move you in mom!
Dakota and Latrice hug.
Genres:
["Drama","Family","Relationship"]
Ratings
Scene
38 -
Dakota's Surprising Discovery
INT. EASTMAN MASTER BEDROOM-DAY
Devonte is still asleep when Dakota returns in an unkempt
drunken manner. The smell of liquor awakens Devonte.
DEVONTE
Why do you smell like a liquor store
exploded on top of you?
DAKOTA
Just got back from cooking with the
women and I crushed it!
DEVONTE
Have you been drinking?
DAKOTA
Look, I know what I said 'bout the
drinking but all the other kids were
doing it and I wanted to look cool!
DEVONTE
Other kids? You got drunk with my
mother?
DAKOTA
And your sisters and your nana and
your aunts who kept saying I was
'built like a brick outhouse' whatever
that means! [beat] Oh they wanted to
fuck!
DEVONTE
It went well overall?
DAKOTA
Hells yeah bitch!
Dakota plops on the bed.
DAKOTA
Your mom loves me now! We're like
bros!
Devonte cradles Dakota's head as he kisses him.
DEVONTE
Aw sweetie I'm so happy for you! I
told you they'd warm up to you
eventually!
117.
DAKOTA
Took a few runs to one of the seediest
liquor stores I've ever seen to get
the job but I'm officially one of the
tribe! A real nigga if you will!
DEVONTE
Damn how much did you drink?
DAKOTA
I stopped using glasses around the
time your mom and aunts started
fighting over who slept with whose
husband and your Kalina asked Demetria
when she's paying back the 250k she
loaned her.
DEVONTE
God, I'm surprised you're not dead. By
the way, your 23 and Me came in the
mail yesterday.
Devonte hands Dakota the letter and he reads it.
DAKOTA
30 percent Irish, not surprising. 15
percent Italian, didn't expect that.
50 percent Sub-Saharan African--what
the fuck?
Devonte snatches the letter.
DEVONTE
'The African DNA comes from both sides
with a particular emphasis on the
patrilineal line'!
DAKOTA
What does that mean?
DEVONTE
Your dad is Black!
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
39 -
Confrontation and Reconciliation: A Revelation of Racial Identity and New Relationships
EXT. LAKESIDE COTTAGE-DAY
Dakota and Devonte pull up to the cottage. Loud 70's soul
music is blasting from inside. They step out of the car.
DEVONTE
Aw no Dad's home! That'll make this
weird!
DAKOTA
No, he's alone. My dad plays this song
right before he ends up giving me
another little brother.
118.
DEVONTE
We've gotta get that man snipped.
DAKOTA
You hold him down, I'll get the
scissors.
INT. COTTAGE LIVING ROOM-DAY
Dakota and Devonte let themselves in. The lights are down
low, there's candles lit and a bottle of champagne open on
the coffee table.
DEVONTE
Oh God! What's that smell?
Dakota takes a whiff.
DAKOTA
Cool Water, he drowns himself in that
stuff. We caught him right before--
The sound of an alarm goes off.
DEVONTE
What's that?
DAKOTA
Sweet potato pie, he makes it with
that honey that makes you horny!
DEVONTE
He's like a evil mastermind with a
race fetish!
Grady is heard singing as he enters and stops in his tracks.
He's wearing a robe.
GRADY
What are you doing here?
DEVONTE
It's Thanksgiving, we were wondering
if you two were coming down.
GRADY
Yeah we're coming. When I see him I'll
remind him.
DAKOTA
Also, are you my actual father?
GRADY
I know you're mad at me right now but
how could you--
Dakota shows Grady the letter.
119.
DAKOTA
It says here I'm 50 percent Black. I'm
not a math guy but if mom was half and
you're white, I should be no more than
a quarter.
DEVONTE
The technical term is Quadroon.
Grady hands the letter back to Dakota and sits down.
GRADY
I never thought I'd have this talk
with you but here we are. I'm mixed,
my father was Black and my mother was
white.
DEVONTE
How Black are we talking cause you
could pass as a member of the Doobie
Brothers!
GRADY
I'm told he was Louisiana Creole but I
never met him. Mother got pregnant and
dumped me off with my grandparents
cause she didn't wanna be seen with a
mulatto child.
DEVONTE
Actually, you'd be an Octoroon.
Dakota takes Devonte's hand and gives him a look that says
'not the time'.
GRADY
They used to beat the hell outta me.
They said it wasn't cause of race but
I was the blackest thing on that farm.
At sixteen, I got a one way ticket out
of Kentucky and I never looked back!
DAKOTA
So why is it whenever I showed an
interest in Black culture you shut me
down?
GRADY
I never did that!
DAKOTA
I listened to rap music and you told
me it was 'nigger noise'. I got a
blowout and you said 'you look like a
pale monkey!' I brought home friends
from the football team and you said
'why you bringing them field niggers
in the house?'
120.
DEVONTE
Which is wild considering the average
shade of your baby mommas is five
minutes after midnight!
DAKOTA
I was gonna say they could've played
Storm in the OG trilogy but yeah what
the fuck?
Grady gets up and stares out of the window for a moment. An
image of him as young boy being abused appears in the window.
GRADY
I always hated that part of myself
cause I associated it with the abuse
Ma and Pa put on me. But my new lover
has helped me see that their bigotry
was not a moral indictment on me!
Grady turns and takes Dakota by the hand.
GRADY
You're right, I shouldn't have tried
to suppress your identity due to
insecurities I've had about my own. I
perpetuated a cycle of generational
trauma and I want to help you break
the cycle!
Dakota and Devonte stare at Grady in absolute shock.
GRADY
What?
DEVONTE
I had no idea he knew that many words!
DAKOTA
Me neither!
GRADY
I told you this new lover of mine has
shown me a lot--
The sound of someone coming down the hall is heard.
GRADY
And now you've got gotta go!
Grady hurries the duo to the door.
DAKOTA
But wait! I have so many questions!
GRADY
I'll answer 'em after dinner! See ya
soon! Bye now!
121.
Grady is pushing them out of the door when Jerome enters in a
pink see-through kimono.
JEROME
I'm ready my--AAH!
DEVONTE
Dad? What are you--why are you--oh
God! Are you two--
Devonte can't even get the words out and makes a gesture
meant to represent sex.
GRADY
Is that supposed to be sex?
DAKOTA
We have an interesting private life.
JEROME
Yes it's true! I refuse to hide it
anymore!
Jerome takes Grady by the hand.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
40 -
Chaos at the Dinner Table: Jerome and Grady's Announcement
INT. IN-LAWS DINING ROOM-NIGHT
Jerome is standing hand-in-hand with Grady in front of the
whole family at the dinner table. It looks like a very
progressive Norman Rockwell painting.
JEROME
Grady and I are sexual and romantic
partners!
Everyone reacts in absolute shock.
KALINA
What is it with the men in this family
and these Band-Aid colored negroes?
CHARLENE
Two months alone and y'all already
hunching? Are men really this easy?
ETHEL
Wouldn't be the first time I dated a
gay man. Johnny Mathis needed a favor.
MARLENA
The spirit of homosexuality is
devouring this entire family!
DEMETRIA
Honey, that's not the only thing
getting devoured!
122.
SHAQUEENA
Which one's doing the bending? My
money's on the red nigga but aye Uncle
J might got that D!
JA'NIAH
Does this mean I have two grandpas or
does one of your become grandma?
JAQUAN
How did this even happen?
Jerome puts his hand on Grady's waist.
JEROME
Grady and I have been spending a lot
of time in the lakehouse together. My
time in the service has taught me that
most straight men become incredibly
bisexual whenever hard liquor and John
Wayne movies are involved!
GRADY
That man gets me so hot under the
collar, I don't know why!
LATRICE
Let me get this straight: my closeted
gay ex-husband divorced me so he could
get with my gay son's supposedly
straight father?
GRADY
Wasn't really the intention from the
jump but yeah that's how it played
out.
DAKOTA
Since when are you bisexual? I've
never known this side of you! You
threw up so much when I came out you
lost 20 lbs!
GRADY
I've been suppressing a lot of shit,
alright? Life's short and I'm not
getting any younger!
JEROME
Neither am I. That's why I don't want
to wait another moment to do this!
Jerome pulls out a ring box and gets down on knee. Everyone
gasps.
JEROME
Grady Malcolm Luther Eastman, would
you make me the happiest man in the
123.
world and marry me?
Grady is at a loss for words and eventually faints. Jerome
releases a nightmarish wail deep from his soul. Grady pops
up.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
41 -
Resolving Conflicts and Healing Wounds in the Hospital
INT. HOSPPITAL LOBBY-NIGHT
Jerome and Latrice are waiting in the lobby with the twins.
LATRICE
How long does it take to get some
Waffle House and come back?
There's a long silence.
JEROME
Latrice, you haven't looked me in the
eye all night.
LATRICE
I saw them eyes for 50 years, I had my
fill.
JEROME
Would you please talk to me?
LATRICE
I have nothing to say to you Jerome.
We are divorced. We live separate
lives. You're getting remarried for
Christ's sake! What else is there to
say?
JEROME
I'm sorry.
Latrice laughs.
JEROME
I'm serious. I put you through the
ringer for so long and I ended things
in the worst way possible. All I did
was dig the knife in deeper. Nothing
will ever undo that. But I'm from the
bottom of my soul, I'm sorry.
Latrice falls silent. She takes Jerome's hand and looks him
in the eye as she holds back tears. With a slight nod, she
releases him. Nothing more can be said.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM-NIGHT
Grady is asleep as Dakota waits by his bedside.
GRADY
Cody?
124.
DAKOTA
Hey, how you feeling?
GRADY
Like shit. What'd I have? A heart
attack?
DAKOTA
Stroke. Doc says lay off the red meat
and beer.
Grady and Dakota both laugh a bit.
GRADY
I'm guessing by you not pulling the
plug means you're not mad at me
anymore?
DAKOTA
I still think you were a horrible
father. But I understand why you were
a horrible father.
GRADY
Where do we go from here?
Dakota fails to find the words. He turns on the TV. A
football game is on.
GRADY
Broncos are looking good this year.
DAKOTA
I'm more of a Falcons fan nowadays.
GRADY
Falcons? Get outta here! The Broncos
are going to the Superbowl next year!
DAKOTA
Yeah and the Knicks are winning the
championship! Get real!
Dakota and Grady bicker amongst each other. Devonte enters.
DEVONTE
Look who's up!
Devonte hands Dakota his food.
DEVONTE
It took a while because a fight broke
out and then niggas started fighting
cause their food took long cause of
the fight. Everything good in here?
DAKOTA
It will be.
125.
Dakota starts eating and Grady leans over.
GRADY
Whatcha got there?
DAKOTA
You just had a stroke!
GRADY
I'm here for a good time not a long
time! Give me some eggs!
Dakota and Grady bicker with one another. Devonte smiles and
exits as he closes the door.
Genres:
["Drama","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
42 -
Driving Home and Planning the Future
INT. EASTMAN VAN-NIGHT
Devonte is driving the family home as Dakota looks deep in
thought.
DEVONTE
Something on your mind?
DAKOTA
When we came here, I thought it was
the worst decision we could've ever
made. But now? While it hasn't been
cake, I'm glad we made the move.
Devonte is touched and takes Dakota's hand.
DEVONTE
Me too.
Devonte and Dakota kiss.
DAKOTA
By the way, our dads want you to plan
the wedding and I already said you
would.
DEVONTE
You could've asked me before--
DAKOTA
It was either that or chipping in for
your dad's new penile implant as a
wedding gift.
Devonte sighs and shakes his head.
DEVONTE
Do they have a color scheme in mind?
DAKOTA
Also, your mother wants to live with
us and I already said yes.
126.
Devonte motions to respond but words fail and he just sighs
and keeps driving.