Read Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) with its analysis


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Scene 1 -  Opening Meditation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
F O R Y O U R C O N S I D E R A T I O N




BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo



© 2013 DINOSAUR OUT, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PORTION OF THIS SCRIPT MAY BE
PERFORMED, PUBLISHED, REPRODUCED, SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS, OR QUOTED OR
PUBLISHED IN ANY MEDIUM, INCLUDING ANY WEB SITE, WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT
OF DINOSAUR OUT, INC. DISPOSAL OF THIS SCRIPT COPY DOES NOT ALTER ANY OF THE
RESTRICTIONS SET FORTH ABOVE.
1 BLACK 1

We hear a clock ticking.

FADE IN:

1 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - DAY 1
Close on the brilliant colors of a middle eastern rug, the
center of what seems to be a makeshift “meditation” space.

We slowly tilt up to discover the back of Riggan Thomson (55).
He is in the proper ‘Lotus’ position, dressed only in tight
white briefs and he appears to be meditating deeply. And if all
this seems a little odd, it becomes all the more so when you
notice that he is levitating almost two feet above the floor.
His breath is calm and measured... in and out... in and out.

MAN (V.O.)
How did we end up here?
(Beat.)
This place is a fucking dump.

We begin to slowly move toward Riggan's back while his measure
breathing continues. We see a clock on the wall, ticking.

MAN (V.O.)
Smells like balls.

A slight twitch in Riggan's neck.

MAN (V.O.)
We don't belong in this shithole.

A Skype call shatters the silence. Close on his back, we follow
Riggan as he walks over to the computer and answers the call.
On the computer screen appears Sam (21), in a pair of Levi's
and a Led Zeppelin T-shirt. She has simple and striking good
looks, with an edge in her voice and behind her eyes. She
stands in a Korean Deli among the flowers, talking to Riggan
through her iPhone.

1A 1A

The Korean Store owner (50) stands in the background screaming
at her the whole time.

RIGGAN
Sam, I can't--



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 2.

SAM
Dad? What kind of--
(Turning to Korean.)
SHUT UP!!!
(Back to screen.)
What kind of flowers did you say you
wanted?

RIGGAN
Alchemillas. Or something soothing that
smells nice. Listen I can’t--
SAM
It all smells like fucking Kimchi!

RIGGAN
Then whatever looks nice. Anything but
roses. No roses.

KOREAN
Flowers don't need you touch! They need you
buy!!!

SAM
(Close into the screen.)
I hate this job.

And the Skype call is over. Riggan closes the laptop and leans
forward trying to regain his calm. His reflection appears in
the mirror, and for the first time we see his face. He has a
dark goatee and his hair looks strangely abundant. There is a
piece of paper on the mirror with the handwritten phrase “A
thing is a thing, not what it is said of that thing.”

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
Riggan, they’re starting scene
five. We need you on stage.

RIGGAN
Shit...
Riggan throws on a sweater and stumbles into his slacks. He
hurries out...

2 INT. HALLWAYS - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 2

...through the narrow corridors of the theater. There is a lot
of activity as various workers and stage hands appear and
disappear carrying equipment and scenery. As Riggan descends the
stairs, a Stage Hand· passes by in the opposite direction.

STAGE HAND·
Mr. Thomson.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 3.

RIGGAN
Steve.

STAGE HAND·
It’s Daniel.

RIGGAN
(Already passed.)
Okay.

Riggan continues on until he arrives backstage. He runs into
Jake (42) his producer and friend.

JAKE
How’s it going, buddy.

RIGGAN
Great. It’d be even better if I
could get Ralph to stop acting like
he’s in an educational video for
syphilis...
The camera moves off of them and onto...
Genres: ["drama","comedy"]

Summary Riggan Thomson, a 55-year-old actor, meditates alone in his dressing room. He receives a Skype call from his daughter, Sam, who works at a Korean deli. Riggan rushes to get ready for scene five while dealing with the chaos of the theater.
Strengths "The scene does a great job setting up the characters and their relationships. The humor is spot-on and elevates the tone of the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene seems to be solely focused on exposition and doesn't move the plot along in a significant way."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The use of the clock ticking and the slow tilting up to reveal Riggan meditating is a nice visual touch. The dialogue is realistic and adds to the character development, particularly in showing the strained relationship between Riggan and his daughter. The use of Skype is also a clever way to show their communication and the chaos of their respective environments. The action is well-paced and there is a good balance of visual description and dialogue. However, without knowledge of the full story, it is difficult to evaluate the scene's place within the greater narrative.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, my suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual details and specific actions to enhance the setting and characters. Here are some specific suggestions:

- Start with a establishing shot of the theater, to give the audience a sense of the location before diving into the dressing room.
- Show Riggan getting dressed for the day, which would further establish his character and routine.
- Add more description of Sam's appearance and the Korean Deli setting to make it more vivid.
- Consider adding more dialogue or action to show Riggan's relationship with Sam and to establish the conflict he is dealing with.
- Add more description to the backstage area to create a more vibrant and chaotic setting.
- Consider including more dialogue or action between Riggan and Jake to further establish their relationship and give the audience more insight into their characters.



Scene 2 -  Chaos at the Theater
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
3 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 3
...the stage. Suddenly we are in the midst of an Americana style
kitchen.

Around the kitchen table sit Lesley (35), plain and no nonsense,
her simple hairstyle and makeup can't hide how attractive she
is. Laura (35), dark, exotic, the kind of woman who makes every
person she meets feel like she's seducing them. And Ralph (40),
slightly handsome, slightly balding, slightly invisible.

A half empty bottle of gin on the table, they drink from
highball glasses as they chat...

LESLEY
He loved me.

RALPH
Yeah. He loved her so much he tried
to kill her.

LAURA
He tried to kill you?

LESLEY
No. (A beat.) Okay, well, he did
beat me up one night. He dragged me
around the living room by my
ankles, yelling "I love you, I love
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 4.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
you, bitch." What do you do with a
love like that?

RALPH
How is that-- That is not love and you know
it. Why do you insist on calling it--

LESLEY
You can say what you want, but I know what
it was.
RALPH
What about you, Nick? Does that sound like
love to you?

Riggan arrives at the table and sits.

RIGGAN
Sorry I’m late.
(Beat. In character.)
I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. You'd have to
know the particulars. But I think what
you're saying is that love is absolute.

RALPH
Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is... The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try and kill people.

LESLEY
(Sadly.)
It was love, Mel. To Eddie, it was. I don't
care what anybody says. He was ready to die
for it.

RALPH
Ask her what he did after she left him.

LESLEY
He shot himself in the mouth. But he
screwed that up, too. Poor Ed.

RALPH
Poor Ed, my ass. The guy was dangerous.

LAURA
How'd he screw it up if he shot himself in
the mouth?

RALPH
(By the numbers.)
He used to carry this twenty-two. We lived
like fugitives those days. I never knew--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 5.

RIGGAN
(Breaking character to direct.
Exasperated.)
Okay. Fugitives are on the run, Ralph. How
many times do I have to-- Fugitives are
scared. Give me more of that.

Ralph nods. He takes a breath and dives in once again...

RALPH
(The same but louder.)
We lived like fugitives those days...

Extremely frustrated, Riggan stares out into the auditorium.
From his POV we see Jake who is now sitting in the third row.
His head buried in his hands, tortured by Ralph’s performance.
Riggan turns back to Ralph.

RALPH (CONT'D)
...I never knew if he was going to come out
of the bushes or from behind a car and just
start shooting.

Riggan watches Ralph act and sees his whole production headed
down the drain. Ralph is just that bad.

RALPH (CONT’D)
The man was crazy. He was capable of
anything.

The actors all wait for a cue from Riggan, who is now staring
up into the lights above the stage. Laura finally picks up
Riggan’s cue.

LAURA
Christ. What a nightmare...

RALPH
He used to call me at the hospital and
say...
(Over the top.)
"Son of a bitch. Your days are numbered."

Silence. Ralph looks over to Riggan.

RALPH (CONT'D)
Too much? Little bit? I just wanted to give
you a range, so you could--

And with that a light comes barreling down from it's perch and
crashes into Ralph's head, making him hit the floor like a rag
doll. Silence.

LAURA
Holy shit.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 6.

Lesley and Annie (35), the Stage Manager, run over to Ralph
who is out cold. Not knowing what to do, they stare at him.

LESLEY
Is he breathing?

Jake runs toward the stage.

JAKE
Someone call 911!
Riggan slowly backs away from the chaos.

LAURA
Is that blood coming out of his
ear?

JAKE
(To Riggan.)
Where are you going?
LESLEY
Okay, he’s breathing. What did he
have for lunch?

LAURA
Did anyone call for help?

ANNIE
(Clapping.)
Wake up! Wake up!

Two crew members try to help Ralph.

CREW MEMBER
Grab his legs. I got the top.

JAKE
Don't move him! Wait for the ambulance.
(Calling out.)
For the love of God! I could get a black
audience in this theater faster than a
doctor!

Riggan heads off the stage, and Jake chases after him. We
follow them as...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan is in a production, dealing with chaos in the hectic theater. He joins other actors to drink, and they discuss a man who was abusive and claimed to love his victim. As Ralph acts out a scene, an accident occurs, causing chaos and putting the production in jeopardy.
Strengths "Tension building towards the accident. Exploration of themes of love and abuse."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue feels forced."
Critique The scene starts off strong with a clear establishing shot and description of the setting. The characters are introduced well, with physical descriptions and clear personality traits. The dialogue is realistic and adds depth to the characters and their relationships with each other.

However, the scene starts to lose momentum as it goes on. The conversation becomes repetitive and doesn't advance the plot or character development. The introduction of Riggan and his frustration with Ralph's performance feels abrupt and doesn't fit well with the rest of the scene.

The ending with the light falling on Ralph feels rushed and doesn't provide enough context or explanation for why it happened. The reactions of the other characters also feel unrealistic and don't add to the tension of the moment.

Overall, while the initial set up and character introductions are strong, the scene could benefit from tighter dialogue and a clearer, more focused plot. The ending could also be better developed to create a stronger sense of suspense and conflict.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene appears to jump abruptly into the midst of a conversation, it would be helpful to establish the setting more clearly before introducing the characters. Consider starting with a shot of the theater, then transitioning to the kitchen scene.

Secondly, some of the character descriptions could use more detail to help us visualize them better. For example, what exactly makes Lesley "attractive" despite her plainness?

Thirdly, the dialogue feels a bit too on-the-nose in conveying the characters' emotions and motivations. Try to find ways to show rather than tell; for example, is there something Lesley does with her hands or posture that conveys her sadness more effectively than simply saying "sadly"?

Finally, the scene ends with a sudden accident that seems to come out of nowhere. It might be more satisfying to build up to this moment gradually, perhaps by showing the characters' increasing frustration and tension as the conversation goes on. Then, when the light falls, it will feel like a natural culmination of the scene's energy rather than an arbitrary plot twist.



Scene 3 -  The Accident
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
4 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 4

...they walk through the corridor.

JAKE
Where are you going? We’ll have the
understudy ready to rehearse in five--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 7.

RIGGAN
Forget the understudy. We have to postpone
the preview.

JAKE
What are you-- It’s a full house. We would
have to refund all the--

RIGGAN
Then do it.
A crew member· passes in the opposite direction.

CREW MEMBER·
How’s Ralph?

RIGGAN
He’ll be fine.

JAKE
Wait. Wait. Fuck. Wait.
RIGGAN
Listen to me. It was going to be a
disaster. That guy’s the worst actor I've
ever seen. The blood coming out of his ear
was the most honest thing he's done so far.

JAKE
He's not that bad.

Riggan stops in his tracks and stares at Jake.

JAKE (CONT'D)
Okay, he's fucking horrible. But--

Riggan starts walking again.

JAKE (CONT’D)
You have the press in your dressing
room in a few hours. How are we--
RIGGAN
I'll make something up.

Two Technicians· hurry up in the opposite direction.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Jake. This happened for a reason. It wasn't
an accident.

JAKE
What do you mean?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 8.

RIGGAN
I-- (A beat.) I made it happen.

JAKE
Oh. Okay.
(Beat.)
Are you drunk?

RIGGAN
Find me an actor. A good actor.
Philip Seymour Hoffman...
JAKE
He’s doing the third Hunger Games.

RIGGAN
Michael Fassbender?

JAKE
Doing the prequel to the X-Men
prequel.
They arrive at Riggan's dressing room.

RIGGAN
What’s his name? Jeremy Renner...

JAKE
Who?

RIGGAN
The... the Hurt Locker guy.

JAKE
Yeah. He’s an Avenger.

RIGGAN
(With disgust.)
Fuck. They put him in a cape, too?
(A beat.) Look, I don’t care. Find
me someone.
Riggan enters...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan causes chaos on stage during rehearsal, resulting in an underperforming actor getting injured. He insists on postponing the preview to find a better replacement, causing conflict with the crew.
Strengths "Strong conflict, tension, and character development"
Weaknesses "Lacks significant emotional impact and depth"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written. The dialogue flows naturally and the pacing is good. The conflict between Riggan and Jake is clear and engaging. One area for improvement could be adding more sensory information to the scene - describing the setting and characters' actions could help the reader visualize the scene more vividly. Additionally, the descriptions of the actors' current projects could be made more specific and up-to-date. Overall, though, this scene effectively advances the plot and reveals character motivations.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to give more specific details about the setting and the characters' actions to increase visual interest and immersion. For example, instead of just saying "they walk through the corridor," add details about what the corridor looks like and how the characters are walking. Also, consider giving the characters more physical actions to make the scene feel more dynamic. Another suggestion would be to give more context about why Riggan wants to postpone the preview and why he feels this way about Ralph's acting. Providing more backstory and motivation for the characters can make them feel more fleshed out and compelling.



Scene 4 - 
  • Overall: 0.0
  • Concept: 0
  • Plot: 0
  • Characters: 0
  • Dialogue: 0
5 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 5

...his dressing room and tries to shut the door. Jake, still in
the corridor, stops it with his foot.

JAKE
(Sticking his head in.)
Ralph'll sue us. He'll sue us. And he's got
a case.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 9.

Riggan releases the door.

RIGGAN
Then make him go away.

JAKE
How do you suggest I do that?

RIGGAN
You're my lawyer, my producer and
my oldest friend. We are going to
make this work. Now just get out
there and do what you were born to
do.

JAKE
What's that?

RIGGAN
I have no idea. But I have faith.
Now go away from me.
JAKE
Do you think we should--

Riggan slams the door shut on Jake. A beat. On a television, a
segment of E! News. A busty blond, with an exaggerated smile,
hosts.

BLOND WOMAN
...and when we come back, an exclusive
interview with Robert Downey Jr., who tells
us about the billion-dollar Iron Man
franchise. The talented actor invited us
onto the set of Iron Man 3...

Riggan slams the tv off, his mind racing. He sits on a chair.

MAN (V.O.)
That clown doesn’t have half your talent
and he’s making a fortune in that Tin Man
get up.

Riggan stares into the mirror, in the reflection he catches
sight of a poster from a movie called "Birdman 3". The
superhero, Birdman (a younger Riggan in a bird costume), wings
widely spread, stares directly back at him. A hand written
note on the top of the poster reads: "Thomson, break a wing!
From the boys at Local 1." Riggan tries to calm himself with a
mantra...

RIGGAN
"Breathing in, I embrace my anger.
Breathing out, I smile to it."

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 10.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Embrace it. Kiss it. Turn it around and
fuck it in the--

A knock on the door behind him.

RIGGAN
Not now!

Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.
LAURA
Can I come in?

RIGGAN
No.

LAURA
Okay. Two words. Shia La Beouf.

RIGGAN
That's three words.

LAURA
It's two.

RIGGAN
Get out.

LAURA
I love you.

She closes the door. Riggan tries to calm himself down, but
Laura opens the door again.

LAURA (CONT'D)
I take it we’re not going to dinner
anymore?

RIGGAN
I don’t have an actor.
LAURA
I don’t have a life.

RIGGAN
Laura...

LAURA
Fine. Whatever.
(Goes to leave but stops.)
You remember at Joan's when you
asked me to come do a Broadway play
with you? You said it would be
fun...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 11.

RIGGAN
Go away.

LAURA
So far? No fun.

Riggan closes the door and looks at the Birdman poster.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Fun? You know what would be fun? Getting
the fuck out of here before we humiliate
ourselves. That would be fun.

Riggan looks at himself in the mirror and begins to pull at
his hair. As it comes off his head, we discover it was a wig.
He turns away from the mirror, trying desperately to stay
calm. Something catches his eye: a vase of roses on the end
of the table. A card in them says, "They didn't have the
whatever you wanted - Sam". Enraged, Riggan focuses on the
vase. It begins to shift. Then, with a surge of anger,
without ever touching it, he sends it crashing against the
wall on the other side of the room.

The camera pans over the roses scattered across the floor. It
hovers over the carpet and around the perimeter of the room,
until it finally settles on Riggan, now dressed in a casual
blazer.

A5 A5

It is later the same day. He is sitting on the sofa and on three
chairs in front of him are three journalists:

Gabriel, a geeky theatre journalist, wearing thick glasses and
a thin tie. Clara, a reporter from an entertainment blog. And
Han, a polite, obese Japanese journalist, who sits next to his
translator, another Japanese guy.

GABRIEL
Why does somebody go from playing the lead
in a comic book franchise to adapting
Raymond Carver for the stage?

Riggan tries to remain calm.

GABRIEL (CONT’D)
I mean, as you're probably aware, Barthes
said, “The cultural work done in the past
by gods and epic sagas is now done by
laundry detergent commercials and comic
strip characters.” It's a big leap you've
taken...

Riggan shifts nervously.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 12.

RIGGAN
Well... Absolutely. As you said... that
Barthes said... Birdman, like Icarus...

CLARA
Hang on. Who's this Barthes guy? Which
Birdman was he in?

GABRIEL
Roland Barthes was a French philosopher,
who--
CLARA
Oh. Okay. Sure. Now, is it true you’ve been
injecting yourself with semen from baby
pigs?

RIGGAN
What?

CLARA
As a method of facial rejuvenation.

RIGGAN
Who told you that?

CLARA
It was tweeted by... (checks her notes)
@prostatewhispers.

RIGGAN
It's a lie.

CLARA
I know. But did you do it?

RIGGAN
No!

GABRIEL
Are you afraid at all that people will say
you're doing this play to battle the
impression that you're a washed-up super
hero?

RIGGAN
No. I’m not. And that’s exactly why
20 years ago I refused to do
Birdman 4.

HAN
Birdman 4??? You do Birdman 4???

Jake opens the door and the camera pans to him.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 13.

JAKE
Okay. That's enough for today.
Thank you for coming. We’re
expecting some great pieces from
you...

Riggan stares at the Birdman poster.

JAKE (CONT’D)
Publicity guys are trying to get
you a Times feature.
Riggan stands up and pulls the Birdman poster off of the
wall.

JAKE (CONT’D)
So, How’d it-- Whoa. If I were you
I wouldn’t do that.

RIGGAN
I don’t want to look at it anymore.
JAKE
That was a present from the crew.
Don’t fuck with those guys, they’re
union.

RIGGAN
I don’t care.

Riggan leaves the poster on the floor, facing the wall, and
walks to the window. He opens it. We can hear distant drums
coming from the street.

JAKE
So... How'd it go?

RIGGAN
Great.

JAKE
(Worried.)
Did they ask about Ralph?

RIGGAN
Nope.

JAKE
Good. He did it, you know? The
motherfucker threatened to sue us.
Didn’t even wait to get out of the
hospital.

RIGGAN
And, what did you say?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 14.

JAKE
What’d I say? I said, "You
motherfucker. You’re threatening
me? ME? I swear to god, you fuck, I
so much as get a letter from a
lawyer, the press’ll get the
pictures we got off your computer.”

RIGGAN
What pictures?
JAKE
The guy has a thing for nuns... in
diapers. What do you care? You
shouldn’t have any knowledge about
it anyway. The important thing is
that I made him go away.

RIGGAN
Right. That's great.
JAKE
Yeah, it’s fantastic. One problem.
We don't have an actor. And if we
cancel the first preview the press
will smell the blood. We can't
afford to lose any more money. At
all.

RIGGAN
What do you want me to do?

JAKE
We pay an understudy, let’s use the
understudy.

RIGGAN
No.

JAKE
No? Riggan, listen to me. Our dream actor
is not going to knock on that door and
say: "Hey fellas, when do we start?"

B5 B5

There is a knock at the door. Leslie peeks in.

LESLIE
Can I talk to you for a second?

RIGGAN
Yeah. What’s up?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 15.

LESLIE
Did you find another actor?

RIGGAN
No.

LESLIE
Okay. Well... Mike's available.

RIGGAN
He is?
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
I thought he was doing--

LESLIE
He was. He quit. Or got fired.
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
Which one? Quit or fired?

LESLIE
With Mike it's usually both.

JAKE
Mike Fucking Who?

LESLIE
Shiner.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake...
JAKE
Yes! How do you know Mike Shiner?

LESLIE
We share a vagina.

RIGGAN
You think he'd want to do it?

LESLIE
Yeah.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 16.

JAKE
How do you know?

LESLIE
Because he said he'd want to do it.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake. Hang on a minute.
JAKE
(to Riggan)
Ask me if he sells tickets.

RIGGAN
Does he sell tickets?

JAKE
A shitload of tickets. Now ask me if the
critics like him?

RIGGAN
Do they like him?

JAKE
They want to spooge on him.

RIGGAN
(Indicating Lesley.)
Hey.

JAKE
Leslie...

LESLIE
Right on his face.

JAKE
Everything for a reason, right?
RIGGAN
You think he'll be able to come tonight?

LESLEY
I can call him and find out.

Riggan gives Jake a look.

JAKE
I'll call his agent.

Jake charges out of the room. The camera follows him into...
10/29/14 / 17.
Genres: null

Summary
Strengths null
Weaknesses null
Critique The scene is well-written and effectively conveys Riggan's inner turmoil and desperation, but there are a few areas for improvement:

1. The dialogue between Gabriel and Clara feels forced and unrealistic, with Clara's question about injecting semen into his face coming out of left field. It detracts from the overall tone of the scene and feels like a cheap attempt at humor.

2. The transition from Riggan pulling off his wig to the birdman voiceover feels abrupt and disjointed. A smoother shift or bridge would make this moment feel more impactful and emotional.

3. The introduction of Mike Shiner feels rushed, with Leslie's explanation feeling too convenient and sudden. A smoother build-up to Shiner's appearance on the scene would make his arrival feel more significant.

Overall, though, the scene effectively sets up the conflict and establishes Riggan's character and emotional state. With some tightening and refinement, it could be even more powerful.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to focus more on Riggan's internal struggle and the theme of fame and success. This could be done by adding more moments where Riggan reflects on his past and the choices he has made to get where he is now. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more moments of tension and conflict between Riggan and Jake, as well as Riggan and other characters. This would help keep the audience more engaged and invested in the story. Finally, consider adding more visual and sensory details to the scene to help create a more immersive experience for the audience, such as incorporating the sounds of the distant drums or emphasizing the posters and objects in Riggan's dressing room.



Scene 5 -  Intimidation
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
6 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 6

...the hallway and as Jake makes a left turn, Annie enters from
the right.

JAKE
Annie, turn the work lights on and get me a
fresh copy of the script. We’re gonna have
a “put in” tonight.

ANNIE
Who?
JAKE
You’ll find out...

Jake disappears down the hall and we follow Annie through the
theater and onto...

7 INT. STAGE - THEATER - EVENING 7
...the stage, where she turns some of the stage work lights on.
We pan along the stage until we find Riggan, wearing the same
clothes as before, scanning the empty auditorium.

MIKE (O.S.)
Intimidating. Isn't it?

Riggan sees Mike Shiner (39) coming down the aisle, slovenly
dressed with mussed hair and intense eyes.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Do you have any idea who walked these
boards before you?
(Beat.)
Geraldine Page, Marlon Brando,
Helen Hayes, Jason Robards... And
now you. Riggan Thomson.

Riggan, trying to hide the intimidation.

RIGGAN
Thanks for coming on such short notice,
Mike. I appreciate it.

MIKE
Hey. This is what we do.
(Indicates a script.)
So, you wrote this adaptation?

RIGGAN
I did.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 18.

MIKE
And you're directing the adaptation and
starring...

RIGGAN
I am.

MIKE
Ambitious.

RIGGAN
Thank you.

A sly smile from Mike. He leaps onto the stage.

MIKE
Why don't we do a bit of it?

RIGGAN
Hey, I wasn't expecting you to--
MIKE
First preview is tomorrow, right?

RIGGAN
Yeah, but you can go on with the script
until you feel comfortable--

MIKE
Let's just do some of it.

Riggan tries to hide his excitement. He grabs the script from a
nearby table and walks it over to Mike.

RIGGAN
Take a look at page twenty--

MIKE
Yeah. I don't need that.

RIGGAN
What?

MIKE
I don't need the script. Just give me a
cue.

RIGGAN
What are you talking about?

MIKE
Feed me a line.

RIGGAN
I don’t-- What?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 19.

MIKE
Feed. Me. A line.

Riggan drops the script and begins the scene.

RIGGAN
“I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is that love
is absolute.”

Mike stares at Riggan, hyper-focused.

MIKE
(Ruminating.)
Am I saying that love is absolute?
(He transforms.)
"Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is. The kind of love I'm talking about you--
"
(An intense pause.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan is transfixed, and almost immediately intimidated.

RIGGAN
How do you know the lines?

MIKE
I have a thing, a whatever, a gift.
(A beat.) Come on, I helped Lesley get
off book. Hey, give me that cue again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is--”
MIKE
Okay, can I-- Do you mind if I--

RIGGAN
No, go ahead.

MIKE
Follow me. He says, "I'm the wrong
person to ask." What's his intention?
Is he fed up with the topic?
Deflecting? Guilt about his wife maybe?
Then four sentences all say the same
thing... "I didn't even know the man."
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 20.
MIKE (CONT'D)
"I've only heard his name mentioned in
passing." “I wouldn't know.” "You'd
have to know the particulars." First of
all, particulars? What are you, my
grandmother? But the point is, YOU
DON'T KNOW THE GUY, WE FUCKING GET IT.
Make it one line. "I didn't even know
the guy." Right? ...

RIGGAN
You pretty much know my lines too, huh?
MIKE
Can we-- Are we doing something here? Come
on let's go. Cut it down, give it to me
again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask--"

MIKE
Oh, right, sorry, you see? "I'm the wrong
person to ask?" That's another fuck you.
"Don't put me on the spot. Don't make me
self conscious about my marriage when my
wife is sitting right here..." See? Give
it to me. Give me a good fuck you. Come
on...

RIGGAN
Okay, let me--

MIKE
Come on. Give it to me right now. Fuck me.
Right now. Right here. Let's do it.

RIGGAN
Okay, yeah...

MIKE
DO IT!
RIGGAN
(Jumps in w/out thinking.)
"Hey. I'm the wrong person to ask, okay? I
didn't even know the guy. So what's your
point?"

MIKE
"What's my point?"

RIGGAN
"What's your point? What are you saying?
Spit it out. You're saying, what? That love
is an absolute?"
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 21.

MIKE
(Exploding.)
"Yeah! Alright? The kind of love I'm
talking about is absolute. The kind of love
I'm talking about you--
(A painful memory.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan stands silently, his heart pounding.

MIKE (CONT’D)
So what do you think, boss? Do I have a
job?

Riggan calls over to the wings.

RIGGAN
What do you think?

Mike turns to see Sam, who has been there for a bit.
SAM
Larry needs to see him for a fitting.

MIKE
I'm gonna take that as a yes.
(Walking to Sam.)
And you are...?

RIGGAN
That's my daughter, Sam.

MIKE
Right. Yeah. I can see it around the... (A
beat) She doesn't look anything like you.
(To Sam.)
And your job is...?

RIGGAN
She's my assistant.
MIKE
Your assistant...
(To Sam.)
And can you speak?

SAM
Yup. I can even 'sit', 'stay' or 'roll
over' if you have any treats.

RIGGAN
Welcome aboard, Mike.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 22.

MIKE
(Mock saluting.)
Thank you, Captain.

We follow Mike and Sam off as they...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mike Shiner challenges Riggan Thomson during their first meeting and questions his ability as an actor and director while showing off his own skills. Sam, Riggan's assistant, watches from the sidelines.
Strengths "The scene has tension and fast-paced dialogue between the two main characters."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more character development beyond the initial confrontational exchange."
Critique The scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue is natural and the characters have distinct personalities. The use of blocking and camera direction effectively moves the scene forward while keeping the audience engaged. The pacing is appropriate for the content and the use of action and dialogue reveal character traits. Overall, the scene is successful in setting up a conflict and building tension between the characters. The only minor critique would be that the dialogue could be tightened up in a few places to make it more concise.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add a bit more action to the scene to break up the dialogue and give visual interest. Maybe show Annie turning on the lights and retrieving the script while Jake walks down the hall, or have Riggan pacing or fidgeting while Mike is reciting his lines. Also, there could be more physical blocking, such as Riggan and Mike moving around the stage as they do the scene, to add movement and dynamics to the conversation. Finally, it might be interesting to add some background sounds or music to enhance the mood and atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 6 -  Meeting Mike Shiner
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 10
8 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 8

...advance through the hallways.

MIKE
I'm Mike Shiner, by the way.

SAM
I know who you are.
(Reluctantly honest.)
I saw you in 'Hothouse' at the Geffen. It
was... great.

MIKE
That ass is great.

She turns her head toward him with a disgusted expression.

SAM
Dude. Seriously?

Moving by her, into a dressing room.

MIKE
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.

She follows him into the room where we see...
Genres: ["drama","comedy"]

Summary Riggan's assistant Sam meets Mike Shiner, a talented actor who questions Riggan's abilities as a director and actor. Mike makes inappropriate comments, causing friction with Sam.
Strengths "The scene introduces a new character, Mike Shiner, who will be a major player in the story. The dialogue between Sam and Mike borders on confrontational, which adds tension to the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene does not move the plot forward significantly, and Mike's crude comment may be off-putting to some viewers."
Critique As a language model AI, I'd like to critique the scene you have provided.

The scene is brief and does a good job at providing some character introduction and setting up a potential conflict. The dialogue between the characters feels natural and provides insight into their personalities.

However, the dialogue could benefit from more nuance and subtlety. The comment from Mike about Sam's "great ass" feels vulgar and out-of-place. Additionally, the line about being "self-conscious" doesn't quite make sense in response to Sam's discomfort with Mike's comment.

Overall, the scene has strong potential but could use some refining in terms of character development and dialogue.
Suggestions As an AI language model, I don't have personal beliefs, but here are some suggestions to enhance the scene:

- Consider adding more physical actions or gestures to the characters to make the scene more dynamic and visually interesting. For example, Mike could be carrying a prop or adjusting his costume while talking, and Sam could be nervously fidgeting with her hands or tucking her hair behind her ears.

- Try to give the characters more distinctive voices and personalities. Right now, their dialogue feels somewhat generic and predictable. Maybe Mike could be more cocky and arrogant, while Sam could be more reserved and cautious.

- Think about how this scene fits into the overall story and theme of the movie. Is there a way to make this interaction more meaningful or relevant to the characters' journeys or conflicts? Maybe you could foreshadow a future conflict between Mike and Sam, or reveal more about their past experiences with theater.

- Consider playing with the power dynamics between Mike and Sam. Right now, it feels like Mike has the upper hand in the conversation, but maybe there's a way to subvert our expectations or challenge his assumptions. For example, maybe Sam reveals a hidden talent or expertise that surprises Mike.



Scene 7 -  Costume Fitting Chaos
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 6
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
9 INT. COSTUME DEPARTMENT - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 9

...Larry stressing out while he works on a costume. He turns
to see Mike standing there. Sam stands against the wall,
focused on her cell phone.

LARRY
Oh, thank the Lord and pass the
biscuits! I finally have an actor to
dress. Hello, Mr. Shiner.

MIKE
How're you doing, Larry?

LARRY
Better, now that you're here. Take off your
clothes.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 23.

Mike takes off his shirt and hands it to Sam. She doesn't budge,
and it hits the floor. He begins to unbutton his pants...

MIKE
You gonna stand there?

SAM
(Glancing at her cell.)
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.
Larry searches for a few costume pieces.

LARRY
Okay. I'm gonna have to start from
scratch, with less than twenty-four
hours... Let's see if these--

He turns to see a completely naked Mike.

LARRY (CONT'D)
Holy-- What is happening? Where are
your underpants?

MIKE
At home, under the bed, I think.

Sam glances at Mike for a second, then returns to her phone.
Larry begins to help Mike into some pants which, given the
situation, is very awkward.

LARRY
Okay. Everything is too small.

SAM
Yeah, you're not kidding.

Lesley enters the room immediately coming face to face with a
naked Mike. She doesn't notice Sam who is partially hidden by a
clothes rack. She just goes about trying a costume shirt.
LESLEY
Oh, that's nice...
(To Larry.)
Forgive him, Larry. Mike's like my five
year old son. Neither one of them has
clean underwear...

LARRY
Or pubic hair, I imagine.
(Folding the pants.)
Okay, well, I can take out the suit but
we're going to need some new pants and
shirts.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 24.
LARRY (CONT'D)
(Looking back.)
And underwear...

Mike just stands there naked, staring at his penis in the
mirror.

LESLEY
(To Larry.)
This is too small.
(To Mike.)
What the hell are you doing?
MIKE
Waiting for Larry to finish.

LARRY
I'm finished.

Larry disappears deeper into the costume room.

MIKE
Okay, well, then I'm just standing here
with my balls out.

LESLEY
Get dressed. Riggan's daughter is hanging
around, and I don't need her to walk in
here and--

MIKE
Leslie...

LESLEY
No, Mike. You haven’t seen her. She’s
always hanging around, just-- I don’t--
Watching everyone. It’s creepy. It’s--

MIKE
Les...

LESLEY
I don’t know if the drugs fried her
brain or what, but I don't need her
running to her father saying you showed
her your junk.

MIKE
Okay, then we should probably get her out
of here.

Lesley's expression goes blank.

LESLEY
Oh, God. Really?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 25.

MIKE
Hey, Sammy...

SAM
It's Sam.

LESLEY
Fuck.

Sam steps forward.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
(To Sam.)
I didn't mean--

SAM
(Totally relaxed.)
It's cool. He's a handful, huh?

They both look back at Mike.
LESLEY
Almost.

Sam smiles at her and exits. Lesley wheels on Mike.

LESLEY (CONT’D)
Jesus... How is it you always manage to find
a new way to humiliate me?

MIKE
To be fair, you make it really easy.

LESLEY
What the hell was she doing here?

MIKE
She brought me.

LESLEY
And stayed???
MIKE
I know, right? She's a little--

LESLEY
Look at me, Mike. This is Broadway. I'm
here. Finally. And I'm begging you, if you
love me, please, do me a favor... don't
fuck it up.

MIKE
(Gently.)
Come here.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 26.

Lesley moves toward Mike. He cups her face in his hands
tenderly. They are face to face.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Play with my balls...

She twists his nipples hard and walks out.

MIKE (CONT’D)
I won't fuck it up... Probably!
Larry reappears holding some clothes. We follow him out...
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary Mike shows up at the costume department naked and causing chaos. Lesley worries about Riggan's daughter finding out about Mike's nudity.
Strengths "The scene is humorous and awkward, with character interactions that showcase their personalities."
Weaknesses "The scene doesn't have much plot development or emotional impact."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing character relationships and dynamics. The dialogue is witty and natural, and there is good use of physical comedy to add humor. However, there are some aspects that could be improved.

Firstly, the scene is lacking a clear objective or obstacle. Although Larry is stressed and needs to find a costume for Mike, there isn't a sense of urgency or stakes, which could make the scene feel flat. Additionally, the nudity of Mike feels gratuitous and unnecessary, and could be perceived as objectifying.

Furthermore, while the banter between the characters is amusing, there could be more subtext and layers added to their interactions. For example, Lesley's frustration with Mike could be explored more deeply to show how it relates to her wider arc and motivations. Overall, the scene could benefit from a clearer sense of purpose and more nuanced character development.
Suggestions First, the dialogue could benefit from some trimming to make it more concise. The scene could benefit from clearer objectives for each character. Larry could have a clear goal of finding a costume for Mike, while Mike could have a clear goal of trying to diffuse the situation with Lesley. Sam's purpose in the scene could be made clearer as well. Additionally, some of the humor in the scene could be adjusted to be less crude and more subtle. Overall, the scene would benefit from stronger direction and visual descriptions to create more interesting and engaging visuals for the audience.



Scene 8 -  Pre-Preview Chaos
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
10 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 10
...through the hallway. He walks by Jake and Riggan who are mid
conversation. We stay with them.



RIGGAN (O.S.)
I don’t care, sign it.
JAKE (O.S.)
Listen to me.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
No you listen to me--

JAKE (O.S.)
I can’t afford to listen to you...

LARRY
I’m gonna need to go shopping
again.

JAKE
Fucking sew something, you old
fuck!

RIGGAN
I don't care. Give him what he
wants.
JAKE
His agent is asking for almost four
times what we were paying--

RIGGAN
Then go into the reserve.

JAKE
The reserve is gone. You spent it
on the fog. And those fake trees...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 27.

RIGGAN
It’s a dream sequence, it--

JAKE
And three union midgets that dance
around like--

RIGGAN
You’re not supposed to call them
midgets--
JAKE
The reserve is gone!

RIGGAN
Listen to me, you didn't see what I
just saw. But you will, at the preview
tomorrow. Look, get the contract done.
I'll get the money.

Riggan begins marching toward the stage.
JAKE
(Calling after him.)
When???

Laura comes down some stairs and chases Riggan.

LAURA
(Incredulous.)
Hey, is it true? Shiner?

RIGGAN
He's in.

LAURA
Holy shit! When can I meet him?

RIGGAN
He's in a fitting with Larry.
Lesley comes down the hallway.

LESLEY
I’m going to Starbucks. You guys
want anything?

RIGGAN
I’m fine. How’s Mike?

LESLEY
Did you talk to your daughter?

RIGGAN
No.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 28.

LESLEY
He’s great.

LAURA
(To Lesley. Matter-of-
factly.)
Honey, your tits look like fucking
anjou pears in that top!

LESLEY
(Uncomfortable.)
Okay, well I'm gonna-- Thank you.

She walks away.

LAURA
And that ass. Like two eggs in a hanky!

A10 A10

Riggan walks, Laura follows him.

LAURA
Okay, I was going to tell you this over
dinner, but everything-- I have some news
too.
RIGGAN
Good or bad? Cause right now--

A technician walks by.

LAURA
(Whispering.)
I missed my last two periods.
(Beat.)
I think it's happening this time.

Riggan stops. Silent. A beat.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Is that good or bad?
(He stares at her.)
Riggan...?

RIGGAN
It's good. It's great.
She smiles, her eyes filled with emotion. Riggan smiles back,
and nods absently.

LAURA
Say something else...

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 29.

RIGGAN
(Joking.)
You're pretty sure it's mine?

LAURA
(Unamused but plays along)
Well, let's see. There's you. Jake. That
masseuse wore a condom so... Yes, it's
yours... idiot.

She puts her head on Riggan's chest. We see his mind racing.
Laura is moved, and confused.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Are you excited?

RIGGAN
Yeah.

LAURA
Me too.
Laura moves slightly away from him and suddenly slaps him across
the face. Riggan looks at her, confused.

RIGGAN
What--?

LAURA
You're not funny.

She kisses him intensely on the lips and briefly places his
hand on her belly, then moves it up to her breasts. After a
moment, she backs away.

LAURA (CONT'D)
First preview tomorrow. Here we go!

Laura turns and walks away. Riggan continues down the
corridor. He passes by a Security Guard· in front of a small
TV. The camera becomes Riggan’s POV and advances until...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan and Jake argue about finances, Laura tells Riggan she's pregnant, Lesley asks about Riggan's daughter, and Laura sexually advances toward Riggan.
Strengths "The tension and conflict between the characters are palpable, and the dialogue is engaging."
Weaknesses "The scene feels a bit scattered, and it's not entirely clear how it advances the overall plot of the film. Some of the jokes fall flat."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written in terms of dialogue and character interactions. However, as a screenwriting expert, I would critique the scene in terms of its pacing and clarity. The scene jumps around quickly from one conversation to another, and it may be hard for the audience to keep up with all the different plot points that are being introduced. Additionally, some of the dialogue is a bit unclear, especially when characters are speaking over each other. It may be helpful to break up the scene into smaller, more focused moments, and to make sure that each character's dialogue is distinct and easy to understand.
Suggestions There are a few things that can be improved in this scene to make it stronger. Firstly, there is a lot of talking but not much action or movement. It would be good to add some visual interest to break up the dialogue. For example, the characters could be walking or doing something while they talk.

Secondly, it's a bit unclear who is saying what at times. It would be helpful to have some more clarity in the dialogue formatting so that it's easier to follow who is speaking.

Finally, some of the dialogue feels a bit too on-the-nose and exposition-heavy, which can make it feel less natural. It would be good to try to find more creative ways to reveal information through action or subtext.

Overall, adding some more visual interest, clarifying the dialogue, and finding more creative ways to reveal information could help elevate this scene.



Scene 9 -  First Preview
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 6
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
11 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - EVENING 11

...we go through the stage door. We scan the backstage area to
see the stagehands ready to do their jobs. We can feel the
electricity of a first preview.

On stage part of the kitchen set from before is visible. Annie
stands at her podium, calling the cues for the show.

ANNIE
(Into her headset.)
Cue 34 and 35. Go.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 30.

She turns and looks directly into the camera.

ANNIE (CONT'D)
Places.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Okay.

Riggan walks on screen wearing his costume, carrying a bucket of
ice and a bottle of gin. He goes to the opposite side of the
stage and takes his place in the wings. He peeks out at the
audience who seem to be watching with interest.

Then we pan to the stage to find Mike, Lesley and Laura
performing the scene we saw at the beginning, around the table.
Mike looks comfortable, sipping at his drink. A half empty
bottle of gin on the table.

MIKE
The maniac shot himself right in front of
us. I rode with him in the ambulance to the
hospital.

LESLEY
I’ll never get that image out of my head.
Right before he did it, his eyes-- they
were so sad... lonely.

LAURA
Did you have to treat him?

MIKE
I didn’t have to. But I did.
(Pouring another drink.)
He was in bad shape. His head swelled
up to like twice the size of a normal
head. I'd never seen anything like
it. And I swear to God, I hope I
never do again.

Riggan stands near Annie.
RIGGAN
He’s good.

ANNIE
He’s incredible. I think he's
drinking real gin.

Riggan looks out at Mike, who is refilling his glass.

RIGGAN
What?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 31.

A stagehand gives Riggan a bottle. Riggan watches and waits
for his cue.

MIKE
Ask Nick what real love is. He’ll
agree with me. You watch.

LESLEY
Why don’t we just head to the
restaurant?
LAURA
Don’t get him started, Mel. You
haven’t seen how he’s been lately.
He’s been depressed. I’m worried
about him. He’s been--

She gently pushes Riggan and we follow him on stage...
Genres: ["drama","theater"]

Summary Riggan and the cast prepare for the first preview of the play. Mike performs a scene while drinking real gin, causing concern from Riggan and Annie. Laura expresses her worries about Riggan's mental state.
Strengths "The tension and anticipation leading up to the first preview is palpable. The dialogue during the scene with Mike is powerful and engaging."
Weaknesses "The scene doesn't quite have the same high stakes and emotional impact as some of the other scenes in the screenplay."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively establishes the backstage environment of a theater during a first preview. The stagehands, Annie calling cues, and the electricity of the moment are all effectively conveyed.

The introduction of Riggan carrying a bucket of ice and a bottle of gin is a good visual and sets up his character as someone who may be struggling with addiction. The interaction between Riggan and Annie is brief but establishes a good working relationship between the two.

The scene with Mike, Lesley, and Laura is interesting but feels a bit disconnected from the overall story. It's unclear why this particular scene is being shown, and it doesn't seem to directly impact the main plot. However, the dialogue is well-written and reveals some characterization for these characters.

The transition from the table scene to Riggan being pushed onto the stage feels a bit abrupt and could be smoothed out.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys an important moment in the production process, establishes some characterization for Riggan, and provides some interesting dialogue for secondary characters. The main area for improvement would be making the connection between this scene and the larger plot more clear.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Show, don't tell: Instead of having Annie say "We can feel the electricity of a first preview," try to show the audience's excitement through their actions or reactions. For example, have them exchanging high-fives or talking in excited tones.

2. Add some tension: While the scene is setting up the theater's backstage area, there's not much tension or conflict. Try adding a sense of urgency or drama to make the audience more invested in what's happening.

3. Make the dialogue more concise: Cut out any unnecessary words or lines to streamline the dialogue. The audience doesn't need to hear every detail about the man who shot himself - just enough to get the point across.

4. Develop the character relationships: The scene between Mike, Lesley, and Laura could be more emotionally impactful if we understood their relationships better. Consider adding some subtext or backstory to give the dialogue more weight.

5. Use camera angles to create visual interest: Instead of just having Riggan and Annie standing there, try playing around with different camera angles to make the staging more visually interesting. You could do a close-up on their faces as they watch the scene play out on stage, for example.



Scene 10 -  Mike's Outburst
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
12 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 12
...where Mike goes to refill his glass with the last of the
real gin. Riggan snatches the bottle out of his hands and
gulps the rest, straight from the bottle.

RIGGAN
Been what? (Beat.) I'll tell you
what real love is. This happened a
few months ago.
(Drops bottle on table)
And it ought to make us ashamed
when we talk like we know what
we're talking about when we talk
about love.

LAURA
Nick, for God's sake. Are you
getting drunk?

RIGGAN
(Pointed at Mike.)
I don't have to be drunk to say
what I think.

MIKE
Nobody’s drunk. We’re just having a
few drinks.

LESLEY
You’ve had more than a few.

RIGGAN
What are you, counting?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 32.

LAURA
Don't you talk to her like that.
Don’t talk like a drunk if you’re
not--

RIGGAN
(Exploding.)
Shut up. For once in your life.
Will you do me a favor and shut up
for a minute?
(Beat.)
Like I was saying... There's this
old couple, had a car wreck out on
the interstate. Some drunk kid
plowed his dad's pick up into their
camper.

We begin to hear the underscoring of violins.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Fucking teenager. By the time I got
to the hospital, the kid was dead.
He was off in a corner laid out on
a gurney. We took the old couple up
to the O.R.. They were a mess. We
worked like hell on them for most
of the night...

Over the speech, Mike reaches for the new bottle that Riggan
placed on stage. He refills his glass.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in full
body casts. The husband was depressed.
Even when I told him his wife was gonna
pull through, he was still depressed. So,
I got up to his mouth hole and asked him,
and he told me it was because he couldn't
see her through the eye holes. Can you
imagine? I’m telling you, the man's heart
was breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

Riggan is doing a good job. Lesley and Laura are genuinely
moved. Mike notices. He sips his drink.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
I mean... It was killing him. Killing him
that he--

MIKE
I'm tired of this shit.

They all look at Mike. In silence.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 33.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(to Riggan)
What the fuck is this? Water?

He hurls the glass against the wall. Some laughter from the
audience. Riggan stares at him, confused. He presses on.

RIGGAN
It was killing the old bastard...

MIKE
Did you just give me water?

RIGGAN
Come on, Mike.

MIKE
Come on what?

RIGGAN
Take it easy. You're drunk.
MIKE
Of course I'm drunk! I'm supposed to
be drunk! This is Carver, man! The guy
lost a piece of liver every time he
wrote a page! If I’m supposed to drink
gin then bring me fuckin gin! I mean,
you fucked the time period! You took
all the good lines for yourself! At
least let me--

The audience is now hysterical. Dozens of cell phones
pointing at the stage. Mike walks toward the apron, facing
the audience.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Oh, okay. Seriously? You people are
pathetic. Put the cell phones down and
join the real world! Will somebody
please just live in the real world?!!
He crosses to the refrigerator.

LAURA
Where's he going?

LESLEY
(Firmly.)
Mike, cut it out.

Mike rummages through the fridge.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 34.

MIKE
Look at this. It’s all fake.
(Tossing items out of the
fridge.)
The milk is fake. The butter is fake.

Riggan storms off the stage.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
Your performance is fake.
(He finds some fried
chicken.)
Hey! There's chicken. Real chicken. The
only thing real up here is the chicken.
So I'm gonna stick with the chicken.

The audience laughs harder.

MIKE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Hey, this is good bird, man!
Riggan charges through the chaos backstage running into a
panicked Annie.

RIGGAN
Get Mike out of here.

ANNIE
How do you want me to do that?

Riggan keeps walking up to...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mike performs a scene while drunk and causes chaos with his inappropriate behavior. Riggan shares a personal story about love and tragedy. Mike becomes belligerent and throws a glass, leading to Riggan storming off stage.
Strengths "Authentic performance by Riggan, tension is high and engages the audience"
Weaknesses "Mike's behavior may come off as too extreme and may not resonate with some viewers."
Critique This scene is well-written and effectively conveys tension and conflict between the characters. The dialogue feels natural and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. The use of underscoring with violins adds to the intensity of the scene. The progression of the scene, from Riggan sharing a moving story to Mike's outburst and subsequent destruction of props, creates a sense of chaos that is engaging for the audience. The ending with Riggan charging through the chaos adds to the intensity and leaves the audience wanting more. Overall, this scene is successful in capturing the audience's attention and advancing the plot.
Suggestions There are a few ways that this scene could be improved:

1. Give more context: It might be helpful to provide more context for why Riggan is telling this story in the first place. Is it related to something happening in the plot or is he just sharing a personal experience? This would help to ground the audience in the scene and make it more engaging.

2. Build tension: As it stands, the scene seems to be relatively flat until Mike starts causing a scene. Adding more tension earlier on in the scene could help to make it more engaging, whether it's through music or dialogue.

3. Character development: This scene could be a good opportunity to develop some of the characters further. For example, why is Laura so concerned about Mike drinking? Is there a history there? Is Lesley always the voice of reason or is this out of character for her?

4. Streamline dialogue: The dialogue in this scene can feel a bit excessive and long-winded, which may make it less engaging for the audience. Streamlining the dialogue and making it more concise could help to keep the audience's attention.

5. Use visual storytelling: Film is a visual medium, so it's important to make use of that. Consider using visuals to help tell the story in addition to dialogue. For example, showing the fake food in the fridge or showing Riggan drinking straight from the bottle could help to enhance the scene.



Scene 11 -  Conflict over Cast Member
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
13 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 13
...the hallway. Jake chases him.

RIGGAN
I want him gone.

JAKE
No.

RIGGAN
What?

JAKE
We can't do that.

RIGGAN
What are you-- Of course we can do that.
It's our show.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 35.

JAKE
Riggan, listen to me--

Riggan comes to a halt and faces Jake.

RIGGAN
No. You listen to me. Get him the fuck out
of my play. Did you see him out there?

JAKE
It was a preview! Nobody gives a shit about
previews. Nothing matters until that old
bat from the New York Times is sitting in
that audience on opening night.

RIGGAN
We're getting rid of him. I’m not going to
stand up on that stage and--

JAKE
Shut up! Just shut up for once and
listen to me. As soon as we announced he
was taking over, the advance doubled. We
can't afford to lose a preview. We can't
afford to lose money. We can't afford to
lose Mike. This is about being
respected, validated, remember? That's
what you told me. That's how you got me
into this shit. Now, you're the
director. Get him under control.
(A beat. As a friend.)
These are not the nineties anymore.

Jake storms away. Riggan heads toward his dressing room. Out
of nowhere, Mike barrels into him, pinning him against a wall.

RIGGAN
(Startled.)
Holy Fuck!

Mike presses up against Riggan, breathing down his neck. After a
painful silence...

MIKE
(Like he's possessed.)
You were good...

RIGGAN
Meet me in front of the theater in
10 minutes.

Mike chuckles and slaps Riggan gently on the face before he
disappears into his dressing room. Riggan begins walking
again. We follow him into...
10/29/14 / 36.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan demands that Jake get Mike out of the play, while Jake argues that they need him for financial reasons. Riggan runs into Mike, who behaves bizarrely and invites him to meet him.
Strengths "The conflict between Riggan and Jake adds a layer of tension, while Mike's behavior creates a sense of unease. The dialogue is strong and showcases the characters' personalities well."
Weaknesses "The scene's focus is on the conflict over Mike, so some of the other plotlines introduced in earlier scenes are pushed to the side."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written and effectively advances the plot. However, there are a few areas where the dialogue could be strengthened to make the scene more impactful.

Firstly, there is some repetition in the dialogue between Riggan and Jake. While it is important to establish the conflict between them, some of their lines feel repetitive and could be condensed for greater efficiency.

Additionally, some of the lines spoken by Jake feel somewhat cliched, such as "Shut up! Just shut up for once and listen to me." This type of line is commonly used in film and television, and it can weaken the impact of the scene by feeling predictable.

Finally, the physical confrontation between Riggan and Mike feels abrupt and somewhat forced. While it is a dramatic moment, it could benefit from more context or buildup to make it feel more organic to the story.

Overall, while the scene is solidly written, there are definitely opportunities to strengthen the dialogue and make it more impactful.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual elements and actions to make it more dynamic on screen. For example, instead of just having Jake and Riggan talk in the hallway, maybe they could be walking while talking, giving it more movement and flow. Additionally, maybe there could be more reaction shots from Riggan and Jake to emphasize their emotions and frustrations. Another suggestion would be to make the dialogue more concise and impactful. Some of the lines, such as "Shut up! Just shut up for once and listen to me" could be shortened to pack more punch and make it more memorable. Finally, maybe adding some music or sound effects to build tension and enhance the mood of the scene could make it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 12 -  Financial Woes and Family Ties
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
14 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 14

...his dressing room. He goes into the bathroom and quickly
washes his face.

SYLVIA (O.S.)
What the hell was going on up there?

We pan over to see his ex-wife Sylvia (43), standing in one
corner, staring at Riggan. She is elegant and simply beautiful.

RIGGAN
I didn't know you were here tonight.
SYLVIA
That guy's an asshole, huh?

Riggan dries his hands with a towel and comes out of the
bathroom.

RIGGAN
What are you doing here?
SYLVIA
Sam and I are going to grab a bite
after she's finished with--

RIGGAN
No, I mean here. Now.

SYLVIA
Well. I know how much this means to
you, so--

RIGGAN
I appreciate that.

A beat.

SYLVIA
So, how's it going?

RIGGAN
The play?

SYLVIA
No, you and Sam.

RIGGAN
It's good. (A beat.) It’s the same.

SYLVIA
Do you talk to her?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 37.

RIGGAN
We talk. We-- I don't know, it's been crazy
around here.

SYLVIA
You understand where her head is at right
now.

RIGGAN
Of course.
SYLVIA
She's trying to stay away from everything
and everyone that got her into rehab in the
first place, but...

RIGGAN
...I know, Sylvia...

SYLVIA
...But that's all she had. So she's--
RIGGAN
I really do get it.

SYLVIA
I know you're caught up in all this stuff,
but--

RIGGAN
Stuff...

SYLVIA
You know what I mean.
(Beat.)
Riggan... You don't have to be a great
father right now, you just have to be one.

RIGGAN
Yeah.
Suddenly, Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.

LAURA
(Noticing Sylvia.)
Oh, sorry.

She closes the door. Awkward silence.

SYLVIA
So how is that going? Is she and
Sam--?

RIGGAN
I don’t wanna talk about it.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 38.

He goes to a small fridge, takes out a beer and closes it.

SYLVIA
You're drinking?

RIGGAN
I'm having a beer.

SYLVIA
Okay...
He sits and sips in silence for a moment. Then he begins to
take out the wig.

RIGGAN
So, what's going on with you?

SYLVIA
Me? Nothing. Everything's the same I guess.
I'm going back to teaching.
RIGGAN
I’m thinking about refinancing the Malibu
house.

SYLVIA
Wh-- I’m sorry?

RIGGAN
I’m thinking about--

SYLVIA
No, I heard you. I just need a second to--
(A beat.) That's gonna be Sam's house. Why
would you-- (A beat.) What? For this play?

RIGGAN
(Honest and vulnerable.)
I need the money.

SYLVIA
Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?

RIGGAN
What do you want me to say? My health
lasted longer than the money... Go figure
that out.

Riggan seems pensive and lost.

SYLVIA
Riggan...
(Beat.)
What’s going on?... Look at me.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 39.

Riggan gently looks up to Sylvia.

RIGGAN
I have a chance to do something right. And I
have to take it. I have to.

SYLVIA
It’s funny. I was sitting here waiting
for you, and all of a sudden I couldn’t
remember why we broke up.
Silence. Then, as if he hasn’t heard what she said.

RIGGAN
The last time I flew here from LA, George
Clooney was sitting two seats in front of
me. With those cuff links, and that...
chin. We ended up flying through this
really bad storm. The plane started to
rattle and shake, and everyone on board
was crying... and praying. And I just sat
there-- Sat there thinking that when Sam
opened that paper it was going to be
Clooney's face on the front page. Not
mine. (A beat.) Did you know that Farrah
Fawcett died on the same day as Michael
Jackson?

She smiles sadly. She kisses him on the head and goes to the
door.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why did we break up?

SYLVIA
(Looks him in the eye.)
You threw a kitchen knife at me...

Riggan is smacked by that memory. His eyes on the floor.

SYLVIA (CONT’D)
...and one hour later you were
telling me how much you loved me.
(Beat.)
Just because I didn't like that
ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie
Hawn didn't mean I did not love you.
But that's what you always do. You
confuse love with admiration.

She smiles sadly. He looks at her. As Sylvia opens the door,
she turns back to Riggan...



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 40.

SYLVIA (CONT'D)
It's your house, so do what you want with
it. Just make sure you're there for our
daughter.

RIGGAN
I will.

SYLVIA
You're not Farrah Fawcett, Riggan.
She exits. Painful silence... until...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We should have done that reality show they
offered us. "The Thomsons." That would’ve
been good. Crazy, druggy, wise ass daughter.
Milfy wife with the perky tits. People would
have watched that.

RIGGAN
(To the poster.)
Shut up.

Riggan stands up and grabs his jacket. He opens the door and
goes out to...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan talks to his ex-wife Sylvia about finances and contemplates his life choices. The conversation is emotional and tense.
Strengths "Emotional depth and strong character interactions"
Weaknesses "Limited plot progression"
Critique Overall, this scene is a well-crafted exchange between Riggan and his ex-wife Sylvia. The dialogue is natural and the tension between them is palpable. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

1. Action Description: The scene begins with Riggan washing his face, but the action doesn't really add anything to the scene. The first action should set-up the tone and mood of the scene and be related to the story in some way.

2. Dialogue: Some of the dialogue feels repetitive and could be cut down. For example, when Sylvia asks how it's going with Sam, Riggan responds, "It's good. It's the same." This exchange doesn't add much to the scene and could be cut.

3. Subtext: Although there is a lot of tension between them, there is some ambiguity in their conversation. The subtext could be strengthened by adding more specific details about their former relationship, why it didn't work out, and perhaps more insight into their feelings towards each other.

Overall, this scene effectively establishes character development, plot, and conflict, but could be improved by strengthening the dialogue and action.
Suggestions To improve this scene, consider adding more visual elements to make it more interesting for the viewers. Perhaps have Riggan do something physical while he talks to his ex-wife, such as pacing or sitting down on the couch. This would break up the monotony of the dialogue-heavy scene. Another suggestion would be to add in more emotion and tension between the two characters, as their history suggests they have a complicated relationship. This could be shown through subtle body language or facial expressions, adding depth to their conversation. Additionally, consider tightening up the dialogue, removing any unnecessary words and focusing on the most important exchanges. This will make the scene more impactful and memorable.



Scene 13 -  Confrontation with Mike
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
15 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 15
...the hallway.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Where are we goin'?

RIGGAN
(Almost whispering.)
Leave me alone.

Riggan walks between crew members. Annie interrupts him.

ANNIE
The sun bed is here.

RIGGAN
What does that mean?

ANNIE
It means there's a sun bed out there
being delivered to in here.

RIGGAN
Who ordered a sun bed?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 41.

ANNIE
Mike. He says it’s for his character.
Carver’s red necks, “people of the
land”. Part of his process and that
shit.

Riggan cannot deal with this right now. He continues walking
until he arrives at a metal door that takes him out to...

16 EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS 16

...an alley way. Riggan walks toward the street. There is a man
playing drums. Riggan finds Mike leaning against a parked car,
dazed and looking up at the marquis...

RIGGAN
Let’s go. Walk.

Riggan begins to walk, Mike follows.

MIKE
Where are we going?
RIGGAN
To get you some coffee. Have I done
anything to disrespect you?

MIKE
Not yet.

RIGGAN
I have a lot riding on this play.
MIKE
Is that right?

RIGGAN
People know who I am, and--

MIKE
Bullshit.

RIGGAN
Mike--

MIKE
Bullshit. People don’t know you. They
know the guy in the bird suit. They
know the guy who tells those quaint,
slightly vomitous stories on Letterman.

RIGGAN
Well, I’m sorry for being popular, but
that--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 42.

MIKE
(With irony.)
Popular? POPULAR?... Oh God, popularity is
just the slutty little cousin of prestige.

RIGGAN
Okay, I don’t even know what that--

MIKE
My reputation is riding on this play.
And that's... That is...
RIGGAN
A lot?

MIKE
A lot. Exactly. Fuck you. Yes. This
doesn't work out for you, you get to go
home to your studio pals and jump right
back into that cultural genocide you
guys are perpetrating. “There’s a
douchbag born every minute”. That was
P.T. Barnum’s premise when he got rich
inventing the circus. And you and your
pals know nothing’s changed, and
whatever toxic shit you make people are
still gonna pay to see it. But, after
you’re gone, I’ll still be here. I’ll
still be making my living on the stage.
Baring my soul. Wrestling with emotions,
complex emotions.

RIGGAN
Right. Is that what tonight was about then?
(Mocking him.) Wrestling with “complex
emotions”?

MIKE
Tonight was about making it alive. About
making it bleed. This isn't the Warner
Brothers lot, Riggan. This is the city, and
this is how we do things.

Mike turns and opens the front door of The Rum House.

RIGGAN
Where are you going?

MIKE
They have coffee in here.

He walks into the restaurant. Riggan backtracks and we follow
him into...
10/29/14 / 43.
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Riggan confronts Mike on his behavior and his reputation riding on the play.
Strengths "Intense confrontation with realistic dialogue and complex character motivations."
Weaknesses "Limited setting and lack of action may make the scene visually uninteresting."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with strong dialogue and effective blocking. The dialogue does a good job of revealing character and the conflict between Riggan and Mike. The use of the sunbed and the reference to the cultural genocide perpetuated by Riggan's studio pals also add depth to the scene.

The only potential critique would be that it's unclear where Riggan is headed until the very end of the scene when he arrives at the restaurant with Mike. It might be helpful to establish his goal earlier in the scene or give more context as to why he's leaving the theater. However, this is a minor issue and doesn't detract from the overall quality of the scene.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to enhance this scene:

1. Add more action descriptions to visually engage the audience: This scene is mostly dialogue, adding a few action descriptions that show the character's body language or any physical objects in the scene will make it more interesting to watch.

2. Use more concise dialogue: Some of the lines in this scene could be shorter, which would make the conversation feel more natural and snappier. For example, "Where are we going?" could be "Where to?" and "Is that right?" could be "Really?"

3. Set the scene: Show more of the theater and give the audience a better understanding of the location. What does the hallway look like? Are there any posters or props around? What does the alley outside look like?

4. Use subtext: Use nonverbal cues and subtext to convey the characters' feelings and motivations. For example, Riggan could be fidgeting or avoiding eye contact with Mike to show his discomfort with the conversation.

5. Show character development: Use this scene to show character development or reveal more information about the characters. For example, Annie could give the audience some insight into her character when she explains why Mike ordered the sun bed.



Scene 14 -  The Importance of Reviews
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
17 INT. RUM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 17

...The Rum House. Mike stands at the bar, the bartender
already pouring two whiskeys.

MIKE
(To bartender.)
Thanks, Tommy.

Tommy nods and walks away.

RIGGAN
(Getting back on point.)
People were laughing in our faces.

MIKE
(Handing Riggan a drink.)
Tonight they were laughing, tomorrow
they'll be... be.. tweeting about us. Fuck
‘em. Who cares??? These are the people who
pay half price to watch us rehearse. Stop
fucking caring!
RIGGAN
We’re doing Raymond Carver. This play is a
drama. This play is--

MIKE
You don’t know what this play is. These are
previews. This is where we find out what
the play is.

Mike points to an Older Woman sitting at the bar. She sips a
martini and scribbles in a notebook with a sour expression.

MIKE (CONT’D)
You see that woman over there? The one that
looks like she just licked a homeless guy’s
ass? Nothing matters until she writes five
hundred words about us in the New York Times.

RIGGAN
That's...
MIKE
Tabitha Dickinson. Yes. And, believe it or
not, the only thing that matters in theater
is whether she likes us or not. She does,
we run. She doesn't, we're fucked.

RIGGAN
(Preoccupied.)
She does look like she licked a homeless
guy’s ass.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 44.

MIKE
Do me a favor, don't get your panties in a
twist over a preview, alright? And don't tell
me how to do my job. Cause, this is my town.
And, to be honest, nobody gives a shit about
you around here.

LADY (O.S.)
You're Riggan Thompson, right?

Two fat tourists in "Mamma Mia" t-shirts, with a seven year old
kid, approach the table.

HUSBAND
(Timidly.)
We're sorry to interrupt...

LADY
Would you mind terribly if we got a
picture?
RIGGAN
Of course. It's no trouble at all.

The Lady shoves her camera into Mike's hands.

LADY
(To Mike.)
Would you mind?

Mike gets up with a blank expression and takes the camera.
The Lady pushes the kid into the booth next to Riggan.

LADY (CONT’D)
(Ordering Mike.)
The button right on top there.

KID
Who is this guy?

LADY
(To his son.)
Come on, Billy. He used to be like Batman.

She yanks the kid closer and they squeeze up against Riggan.
Mike takes the photo and holds the camera to the lady.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Mike)
I think you screwed that one up. Take
another one.

Mike takes another picture.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 45.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
God bless you, darlin’. You're very sweet.
And handsome!

She kisses Riggan hard on the mouth. Then gets up, giddy, and
takes her son by the hand. As the couple leaves, husband shoves
a five dollar bill into Mike’s hands.

HUSBAND
We really appreciate it.
An agitated Mike takes a sip of whiskey.

MIKE
Are we good here? Cause I’m gonna go.

RIGGAN
See you tomorrow.

Mike places the dollar under one of the shot glasses and begins
to walk away, but then stops and turns curiously.

MIKE
Why Raymond Carver? You never told me.

Riggan looks at Mike for a second, than reaches for his wallet
and produces an old cocktail napkin with some writing on it. He
slides it to Mike.

RIGGAN
A long time ago, I did a play back in
high school in Michigan. He was in the
audience. He sent this backstage after.

MIKE
"Thank you for an honest performance. Ray
Carver." What is this?

Riggan looks vulnerable. He is trying to make Mike understand
the importance of the napkin, to build a bridge between them.
RIGGAN
And that's when I knew I was going to
be an actor.

Mike can't stop himself from smiling.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why is that funny?

MIKE
He wrote it on a cocktail napkin.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 46.

RIGGAN
So...

Mike slides the napkin back to Riggan.

MIKE
He was drunk.

A17 A17

He walks away and we follow him as he passes by the bar next
to Tabitha Dickinson, the Critic.

TABITHA
You headed to Hollywood, Mike?

Mike stops.
MIKE
Hollywood's headed here, Tabby.

TABITHA
(A devilish smile.)
Good luck with that.

Mike looks directly into her eyes.

MIKE
"A man becomes a critic when he can not be an
artist, in the same way that a man becomes an
informer when he cannot be a soldier."
Flaubert, right?

He flashes his own devilish smile. She stares back. If she
weren't so much older than him, you'd swear there was sexual
electricity between them.

TABITHA
He's a Hollywood clown in a Lycra bird
suit.

MIKE
Yeah. And at 8 o'clock tomorrow, he's gonna
get on stage and risk everything. What're
you gonna be doing?

A standoff.

TABITHA
Don't you ever worry that I'll give you a
bad review?



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 47.

MIKE
Oh, I'm sure you will. If I ever give a bad
performance.
(Beat.)
Ms. Dickinson.

TABITHA
Mr. Shiner.

Mike smiles and waves over to an obviously nervous Riggan. He
goes toward the exit, but we stay with Tabitha, scribbling on
her notebook. Suddenly she raises her eyes and, with a dark
expression, looks at Riggan who is passing by.

We follow Riggan toward the exit. Through the window we see him
leave the restaurant. Then we pan to a wooden wall, and this
wall takes us to...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan and Mike discuss the importance of reviews and their impact on theater success. Riggan shares a personal story about his journey to becoming an actor, and Mike shows disrespect for both Riggan and their craft. Tabitha, a critic, taunts Mike about his Hollywood ambitions.
Strengths
  • Tense dialogue
  • Emphasis on the importance of reviews
Weaknesses
  • Mike's lack of respect can be frustrating to watch
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively establishes the dynamic between the two main characters, Mike and Riggan. The dialogue is sharp and witty, and the interactions with the tourists add a comedic element to the scene. One potential area of improvement could be to make the theme of the scene more clear. While the focus seems to be on the idea of caring about the opinions of critics and audience members, it could be further emphasized to make the message more powerful. Additionally, the actions and reactions of the characters could be further developed to add more depth to their personalities and motivations. Overall, this scene is a solid foundation for a larger story, but a bit more work may be needed to fully flesh out the characters and themes.
Suggestions - Simplify the dialogue. The conversation between Mike and Riggan feels a bit too long and can be condensed for better pacing. Consider cutting some of the banter.

- Create more physical action. The scene feels very static with most of the characters just standing or sitting at the bar. Introduce more movement and blocking to make it visually interesting.

- Add more sensory detail. Use descriptive language to engage the senses and bring the setting to life. Describe the sounds, smells, and tastes of the Rum House.

- Explore the relationship between Mike and Tabitha. There seems to be some tension or rivalry there, but it's not fully explored. Develop this dynamic to add depth to the characters.

- Cut unnecessary details. The scene with the tourists and the photo-taking feels like filler and doesn't really add to the story. Consider cutting it or reworking it to make it more relevant.



Scene 15 -  Father-Daughter Conflict
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
19 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - LATER 19

...the theater hallway. Riggan walks through the quiet corridor,
until he arrives at...

20 INT. GREEN ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 20
...the Green Room. Sam sits listlessly, drawing some lines
across a roll of toilet paper.

RIGGAN
What're you still doing here?

SAM
(Continues scribbling.)
Nothing. I’m-- Nothing. Your costumes are
hanging in your room.

RIGGAN
Great...

SAM
I got the coconut water you wanted. If you
want me to get--

RIGGAN
Hey.

SAM
What?

RIGGAN
I'm not sure if I said thank you.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 48.

SAM
For what?

RIGGAN
All of it. You've been doing a good job.
And I've been...

SAM
Yeah.

RIGGAN
So, I just wanted to say that--
(He stops abruptly.)
What is that?

SAM
What...?

RIGGAN
That smell.
SAM
I don't--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

SAM
What are you--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

She does. He examines her eyes, then immediately rises, scouring
the room.

SAM
Dad...

RIGGAN
(Continuing to search.)
You have to be shitting me... Where is it?

SAM
Could we not do this?

Riggan pulls a jar of peanut butter from the trash.

RIGGAN
What is this?

SAM
That is chunky peanut butter that happens,
by the way, to have Omega--

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 49.

Riggan pulls a stubbed joint out of the jar.

RIGGAN
This.

SAM
Oh. That's pot.

RIGGAN
Sam.
SAM
Alright, just relax.

RIGGAN
Relax? What the hell are you doing?

SAM
Protecting myself from cataracts?

RIGGAN
You can't do this to me!

SAM
To you?

RIGGAN
SHUT UP! You know what I'm talking about.

SAM
Yeah. You're talking about you. What else
is new?

RIGGAN
Don't try to--

SAM
What? Make it about me? I wouldn't dream of
it.

RIGGAN
Listen to me. I'm trying to do something
that's important...

SAM
This is not important.

RIGGAN
It's important to me! Alright? Maybe not to
you, or your cynical playmates whose sole
ambition is to end up going viral and who,
by the way, will only be remembered as the
generation that finally stopped talking to
one another. But to me... To me... This is--
God. This is my career, this is my chance
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 50.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
to do some work that actually means
something.

SAM
Means something to who? You had a career
before the third comic book movie, before
people began to forget who was inside the
bird costume. You're doing a play based on
a book that was written 60 years ago, for
a thousand rich, old white people whose
only real concern is gonna be where they
go to have their cake and coffee when it's
over. Nobody gives a shit but you. And
let's face it, Dad, it's not for the sake
of art. It's because you just want to feel
relevant again. Well, there's a whole
world out there where people fight to be
relevant every day. And you act like it
doesn't even exist! Things are happening
in a place that you willfully ignore, a
place that has already forgotten you. I
mean who are you? You hate bloggers. You
make fun of twitter. You don't even have a
Facebook page. You're the one who doesn't
exist. You're doing this because you're
scared to death, like the rest of us, that
you don't matter. And you know what?
You're right. You don't. It's not
important. You're not important. Get used
to it.

Silence. Riggan seems devastated, and Sam can see that.

Sam (CONT'D)
Dad...

She looks at him sympathetically, but not knowing what to
say... exits.

After a moment Riggan gets up and heads for the trash can. He
digs out the roach, grabs some matches and lights it. Music
begins to sound. He inhales deeply and holds the smoke for a
few seconds and finally exhales. He coughs, tosses away the
joint and heads out of the kitchen. We follow him...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Sam and Riggan argue over Riggan's motivations for doing the play and whether it's worth it. Sam reveals her disappointment and anger towards her father for not appreciating the advancements made in today's society. They part ways on a somber note.
Strengths "Strong character development and emotional intensity."
Weaknesses "Limited plot movement and action."
Critique This is a well-written scene that effectively displays the complex dynamic between Riggan and his daughter Sam. The dialogue is sharp and revealing, and the characters are true to their motivations and personalities. The conflict is heightened by the discovery of the joint in the peanut butter jar, providing a physical manifestation of the tension between Riggan's desire to be relevant and Sam's dismissive attitude towards his aspirations. The scene culminates with a devastating blow to Riggan's ego, as Sam tells him that he doesn't matter. Overall, this is a strong scene that effectively advances the plot and reveals character motivations.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual elements to convey the emotions and reactions of the characters. For example, instead of just stating that Sam is scribbling on a roll of toilet paper, we could see close-up shots of her face to show that she's feeling bored or uninterested. Additionally, when Riggan discovers the joint in the peanut butter jar, adding reactions like close-up shots of his face and hands could convey his increasing anxiety and frustration. Another suggestion would be to build up the tension throughout the scene to create a stronger emotional impact when Sam delivers her speech. This could be done through the use of dramatic music or sound effects, as well as adding more physical actions or interactions between the characters. Finally, the dialogue could be tweaked to make it more concise and impactful, with each line contributing to the overall arc of the conversation and character development.



Scene 16 -  Personal Confessions
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
21 INT. HALLWAY - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS 21

...as he slowly walks until he disappears into the darkness of
the corridor. We keep moving forward until we end up...
10/29/14 / 51.

A21 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATRE - EVENING A21

...backstage. We are in the middle of the second preview. The
music continues, it belongs to the play.

Laura is by herself on stage performing the end of a scene. She
stands in the middle of a surrealistic forest set, at dusk.
There is fog, and trees. A strong, artificial wind blows
through Laura’s hair. Desolate music.

LAURA
(To the audience as soliloquy.)
In the days before Nick’s depression really
started to eat away at him, he had no idea
I was pregnant. And I never intended on
telling him. I guess we make choices in
life, and we choose to live with them. Or
not. I didn’t want that baby...

Three dancers on stage pass by in front of Laura. We follow
the dancers backstage where we find Mike and Lesley wearing
pajamas.
LAURA (O.S.) (CONT’D)
...Not because I didn’t love Nick. And not
because I didn’t love the-- The idea of
it. But because I just wasn’t ready to
love myself. There’s a certain distance to
it all now. A wistful distance.
Underscored by a gentle breeze and the
sound of the birds... laughing at the
whimsy of it all.

A stage hand helps Mike and Lesley into a double bed. The
camera slips under the covers with them and stays there.

MIKE
(Whispering.)
Hey, Les...

LESLEY
(Whispering.)
What?
MIKE
I'm hard.

LESLEY
No, you're not. It's just that sometimes
you don't consider other people's feelings.

MIKE
No. I'm hard. Feel.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 52.

LESLEY
Oh, you gotta be kidding.

The stage begins to revolve as we hear...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Laura performs a soliloquy about her choices and inner turmoil while three dancers pass by. The scene then shifts to Mike and Lesley getting into bed and having a conversation about their feelings.
Strengths "Emotionally charged soliloquy by Laura, good use of surrealistic set design and music to convey mood, strong emotional impact."
Weaknesses "Slow pacing, lack of significant plot developments or conflict."
Critique There are a few elements in this scene that could benefit from improvement.

Firstly, the transition between the hallway and backstage is abrupt and could use some bridging elements to make it smoother. For example, the use of a door or some other feature could help signal the change in location.

Secondly, the dialogue between Mike and Lesley at the end of the scene doesn't seem to add much to the plot and can be distracting from the overall tone and mood. It feels like an unnecessary comedic interlude that disrupts the emotional weight of Laura's soliloquy.

Finally, the use of the revolving stage at the end seems a bit gimmicky and doesn't serve the story in any particular way. It may distract from the performances on stage and doesn't add to the emotional tension.

To improve the scene, it may be helpful to focus more on Laura's soliloquy and give it the space and weight it deserves. Toning down or removing the comedic elements may also help to make the scene flow better. Additionally, considering alternate ways of signaling location changes could help to create a smoother transition.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the location: In the beginning of the scene, it is unclear where the character is walking before they enter the backstage. Adding some description or a clear indication of where they are can help to ground the audience in the space.

2. Add more visual elements: The scene contains a lot of dialogue which can be overwhelming for the audience. Consider adding more visual elements such as unique camera angles, lighting, or costume design to keep the audience engaged.

3. Tighten the dialogue: The dialogue between Mike and Lesley feels unnecessary and does not advance the plot. Consider removing it or finding a way to incorporate it into the scene in a more meaningful way.

4. Add conflict: The scene lacks conflict which can make it feel flat. Consider adding an obstacle for Laura to overcome or add tension between the characters to create a more engaging scene.



Scene 17 -  Breaking Point
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
22 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 22
...music through the transition. It remains dark.

MIKE
Let's really do this. Let's fuck.

LESLEY
Are you crazy? No.

Mike rolls on top of Lesley.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Cut it out...

Mike continues to maneuver himself.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
I'm serious, Mike. Stop!

MIKE
I'm Mel. Not Mike. Mel.
A knock on a door.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Terri! Terri!

A furious Lesley tries to reposition herself under Mike.

RIGGAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Terri! I know you're in there!

The knocking gets louder.

RIGGAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Terri???

Mike, lost in his libido, has begun to have sex with Lesley.
The camera comes out from under the covers and pans to Riggan
who stumbles into what is now the Motel Room set. He wears a
mustache and a long wig, that makes him look like a wild man.
He holds a gun in his right hand. A neon "Motel" sign is
illuminated. A clever effect of falling rain is visible behind
the set, accompanied by the appropriate sound effect. Riggan
is wet because of the "rain".

Lesley uses Riggan's entrance to escape from Mike.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 53.

LESLEY
Ed!

Mike hops out of bed, unaware of the very noticeable erection
protruding underneath his pajama bottoms.

Some laughter from the audience.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
What are you doing here?
Lesley doesn't understand the audience response, until she
notices the erection herself.

RIGGAN
(To Lesley.)
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you. I worshipped you...

MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--
More laughter. Riggan is disturbed, but he continues...

RIGGAN
(to Mike)
Fuck you. Shut up. Fuck you.

He shoves Mike violently to the floor.

LESLEY
Eddie! Please!

Riggan points the gun at Mike's head.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end up
having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.
She begins to cry. Her performance is beautiful.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Just look at me. I was drowning. I
was not capable of-- You deserve to
be loved. You do.

RIGGAN
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
(Beat.)
Now I spend every fucking minute praying to
be someone else. Someone I'm not. Anyone...

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 54.

MIKE
Put down the gun, Ed. She just doesn't love
you anymore.

The audience is silent.

RIGGAN
(A sad smile.)
You don't, do you?

LESLEY
(With sympathy.)
No...

RIGGAN
And you never will...

LESLEY
I'm sorry.

RIGGAN
(A revelation.)
I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't
exist. None of this matters.

Riggan points the gun at Lesley. Then at Mike. Finally, he puts
the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. PUM! And with the
explosion, a fake blood mechanism splatters brains onto the
stage. Riggan drops to the floor.

A blackout. The audience applauds politely. The curtain falls.
We follow Riggan off stage and into...

23 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 23
...the wings, where Annie immediately helps him remove the
bloody and wet wig with the propeller mechanism. Laura waits
next to them for their bows. Meanwhile, a stage hand crosses
behind them, and we follow him as he goes on stage to...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Riggan confronts his insecurities, culminating in a dramatic and violent scene on stage.
Strengths "Intense emotional impact"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue felt forced"
Critique As a screenwriting AI, I cannot provide personal insight on this scene's content. However, from a technical standpoint, the scene is well-structured and follows a clear storyline. The characters have clear motivations and actions, and the scene has tension and conflict. However, the excessive use of profanity and sexual content may limit its audience and limit its potential for some more conservative readers.
Suggestions As an AI language model, I cannot judge the quality of creative work. However, I can suggest some tips to improve this particular scene:

1. Develop the characters more: As the scene is mostly focused on the physical action, there is little room to understand and empathize with the characters. Try to include some dialogue before the action to establish their personalities and motivations.

2. Create more tension: The scene lacks tension and suspense, which could make it more engaging. Add some unexpected twists, raise the stakes, or create more conflict between the characters.

3. Improve the pacing: The scene feels a bit rushed, and the audience may not have enough time to process what is happening. Try to slow down the action and include more moments for the audience to reflect on what is going on.

4. Be careful with sensitive topics: The scene includes an attempted rape, which is a delicate subject. Consider if it is necessary for the story and handle it with sensitivity.

5. Use visual storytelling: The scene relies heavily on dialogue to convey the action, which may make it less visually interesting. Try to use more visual cues or develop the scene's setting to enhance the story's atmosphere.



Scene 18 -  Heated Exchange
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
24 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 24

...reposition some scenery for the curtain call. The camera
carries us to the other side of the stage, where Mike and Lesley
are in a heated exchange...

MIKE
Just, keep your voice down...

LESLEY
(Furious.)
You have to be shitting me. You can't get it
up in six months...
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 55.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
(She starts hitting him.)
...and now you try to fuck me in front of
eight hundred strangers???

MIKE
What do you want from me? I have to feel it.
You know that. I told you that from the--

LESLEY
Oh, fuck you...
Music begins and the curtain rises. The audience applauds as
Lesley and Mike stride onto the stage and take their bows,
smiles plastered on their faces.

MIKE
...I was in the moment...

LESLEY
I told you to stop. You fucking animal.
MIKE
But... You were incredible.

LESLEY
What is wrong with you?

Lesley starts back for the wings, and Mike follows her. In the
background we see Riggan and Laura enter from the other side to
take their bows.

MIKE
Listen I’m sorry, alright, I--

LESLEY
I want your shit out of the apartment.

They go back on stage and join Riggan and Laura for the company
bow.

MIKE
Can we--

LESLEY
No we can't. Maybe up here you’re Mr. Truth,
Mike. But in the real world, where it counts,
you're a fraud. How's that for truth? You...
dick.

Lesley storms off, leaving Mike and a confused Riggan on stage.
Laura chases her off and straight into...
10/29/14 / 56.

25 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 25

...the hallway.

LAURA
What's going on?

LESLEY
He's an asshole.

LAURA
What did he do now?
LESLEY
Oh, nothing. He just tried to fuck me in
front of a full house.

LAURA
Oh, my God...

LESLEY
Right?
LAURA
That’s kind of hot.

She follows Lesley into...

26 26
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike and Lesley argue during the curtain call, revealing their rocky relationship.
Strengths "The tension and conflict are high, and the dialogue is sharp and biting."
Weaknesses "The scene feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the plot. It also borders on being gratuitous with the sexual content."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would first commend the scene for its intense and dramatic dialogue between Mike and Lesley. It effectively creates conflict and tension between the characters, which is great for the story.

However, I would also criticize the scene for its lack of description and stage directions. The audience is left to imagine the setting and actions of the characters solely based on the dialogue and minimal stage direction provided. This can make it difficult for the reader or viewer to fully engage with the scene and understand the emotions and actions of the characters.

Additionally, the scene ends abruptly and without a clear transition to the next scene, which can be jarring for the audience. Overall, the scene could benefit from more detailed description and clearer transitions to enhance the viewing experience.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the context: It's not entirely clear what the play or scene they've just performed is about, which could add depth to the audience's understanding of their relationship and dynamics. Setting up the play-within-the-movie world a bit more in the opening scenes could help make this exchange more meaningful.

2. Make the conflict clearer: Aside from the fact that Lesley is angry with Mike, it's not entirely clear what she's upset about. Adding more context or backstory to their relationship could make the scene more emotionally impactful.

3. Show, don't tell: As it stands, this scene is largely composed of dialogue. It could benefit from more action and visuals to break up the monotony and give the audience a better sense of the characters and their world. For example, instead of having Lesley simply tell Laura what happened, show her reaction to what Mike did, or how she's physically affected by the confrontation.

4. Build tension: This scene could benefit from more buildup and foreshadowing, rather than jumping straight into the argument. Perhaps there are earlier scenes where we see the strain in Mike and Lesley's relationship, or moments where it's hinted that something like this might happen.

5. Character development: This scene could be a great opportunity to delve deeper into the characters of Mike and Lesley. For example, showing how they react to pressure or stress, or exploring their flaws and insecurities, could make the scene more complex and compelling.



Scene 19 -  Self-respect
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 10
INT. LESLEY AND LAURA'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS
...the dressing room and closes the door. Lesley proceeds to
smash everything on her dressing table. Then she looks in the
mirror holding a hairbrush.

LESLEY
Why don't I have any self-respect?

LAURA
You're an actress, honey.

Lesley begins to cry. Laura hugs her.
LESLEY
I’m pathetic. You know, I’ve dreamt of
being a Broadway actress since I was a
little kid. And now I’m here. And I’m not a
Broadway actress. I’m still just a little
kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell
me I made it.

LAURA
(Hiding how moved she is.)
Hey. You made it.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 57.

LESLEY
I did?

LAURA
Sadly, it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake
motel bed, in front of--

LESLEY
(A little laugh.)
Shut. Up.
Riggan steps into the doorway and sees Laura hugging Lesley.

RIGGAN
Is she okay?

LAURA
She's gonna be fine.

Riggan enters gingerly and walks up to Lesley.
RIGGAN
None of this is your fault.
(Into her eyes.)
You're beautiful. And talented. And I'm
lucky to have you. Okay?

LESLEY
Okay.

RIGGAN
Okay.

Riggan leaves the room. Laura leans on the makeup table.

LESLEY
That was very sweet.

LAURA
Yeah.
Laura is suddenly teary.

LESLEY
What's wrong?

A beat.

LAURA
(Smiling.)
Nothing. Two years, he's never said
anything like that to me.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 58.

LESLEY
(Into her eyes.)
Hey. You're smart. And beautiful. And
talented. And I'm lucky to have you. Okay?

LAURA
We’re gross.

LESLEY
We are.
Laura smiles and caresses Lesley’s hand. They look at each
other. Then Laura leans forward, close to Lesley’s face...

LESLEY (CONT’D)
(Nervous.)
What are you doing?

LAURA
Nothing.
Laura kisses Lesley tenderly on the lips. Lesley seems
confused. A few seconds of silence. Then...

LESLEY
Do it again.

Laura kisses her again. A knock at the door. They separate.
Mike opens the door holding the prop gun.

MIKE
(To Lesley.)
Can we talk about this like two--

Lesley hurls the hair brush at his head.

LESLEY
FUCK YOU!!!

MIKE
Okay, well, you're not ready.
Mike points the prop gun at her, pretends to fire and...

MIKE (CONT’D)
That was hot.

He exits the room. We follow him...

27 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 27
...down the hallway up to Riggan's dressing room. Riggan sits
at his table, picking the brains out of his hair.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 59.

MIKE
(Holding the gun.)
Your gun is ridiculous. It looks like a
plastic toy. And it still has the red plug
in the barrel.
(Shows the plug.)
You look like a seven year old when
you’re holding it. I'm not threatened
by it at all.

He tosses the gun onto Riggan's table.
MIKE (CONT’D)
Have some self respect and get a new one.
(Takes a step then turns.)
That was a fun crowd, huh?

We follow Mike to...

28 INT. STAIRS - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 28
...the stairs. He climbs them as he lights a cigarette. He goes
through a metal door that takes him out onto...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Lesley breaks down and confides in Laura while Riggan tries to make things better. Laura and Lesley share a moment that surprises them both while Mike provokes Lesley.
Strengths "Strong emotional scenes with vulnerability and tenderness, mixed with comedic dialogue that provides relief and contrast. The characters are well-developed and their relationships feel authentic."
Weaknesses "The scene may not be as impactful if the audience is not already invested in the characters and their relationships. Also, some may find the comedic moments too jarring."
Critique Overall, the scene has good emotional depth. It shows the vulnerability of Lesley and Laura as actors, and their close relationship. The dialogue is well-written and serves to move the story forward. However, the scene could benefit from some additional visual elements to break up the dialogue and create more dynamic action. For example, adding some movement or gestures to show the characters' emotions could add depth to the scene. Additionally, the scene could use more description to help the reader visualize the setting and the actions of the characters.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and has some emotional depth to it, but there are a few areas that could be improved:

1. Show, don't tell: Instead of having Lesley say "Why don't I have any self-respect?" and "I'm pathetic," try to convey her emotional state through her actions and dialogue. For example, you could have her throw things around the room without saying anything or have her break down in tears without having to say "I'm pathetic."

2. Use more subtext: When Laura tells Lesley "you're an actress, honey," it feels a bit too on-the-nose. Instead, try to have her say something that implies what she means rather than stating it directly. For example, she could say "you know how this business is" or "we've all been there before."

3. Show more of Mike's character: Mike comes across as a bit of a one-dimensional character in this scene, simply serving as a foil for Lesley's emotional outburst. It would be interesting to see more of his personality and motivations, even if it's just in small moments like when he critiques Riggan's prop gun or mentions the crowd's reaction to their performance.

4. Explore the relationship between Lesley and Laura more: The scene ends with an unexpected kiss between Lesley and Laura, but it doesn't feel fully earned yet. It would be helpful to have some previous scenes that build up the tension between them or show hints of their attraction. Additionally, their reactions to the kiss feel a bit muted and it may be worth exploring how this moment affects their relationship going forward.

Overall, this scene has potential but could benefit from more nuanced character development and subtextual writing.



Scene 20 -  Truth or Dare
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
29 EXT. ROOFTOP - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 29

...a rooftop. The Marquis' of the other theaters glowing with
the street lamps, a classic Broadway view.

Mike is surprised to find Sam sitting on the cornice of the
building, a good fifty feet above 45th street. He goes next to
her, looking down at the street.

MIKE
I don't think it's high enough.

Sam turns to him, uncomfortable by his presence.
SAM
Me neither.

MIKE
So, what are you doing up here?

SAM
(Hesitant.)
Adrenaline. Just came out of rehab. Closest
I get to a drug.

MIKE
You were in rehab?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 60.

SAM
(Distant.)
Yeah.

MIKE
Cool.

SAM
It wasn't all Dr. Drew or anything, but
that dude from American Pie was there.
A VOICE
(From the street below.)
Juuump!

SAM
(Calling down.)
Eat me!

A VOICE
Okay. Jump on my face!
SAM
(To Mike.)
I love this city.

MIKE
Yeah.

SAM
(Casually.)
Why do you act like a dick all the time? Do
you just do it to antagonize people?

MIKE
Maybe...

Sam turns and faces Mike.

SAM
You really don't give a shit if people like
you or not...

MIKE
Not really.

SAM
(More comfortable.)
God, that's cool.

MIKE
Is it...?

Mike leans on the railing, looking down at the street. For a
moment, he is somewhere else...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 61.

SAM
Hey.
(Mike doesn't respond. She pushes
him.)
Hey...

MIKE
What?

SAM
Let's play a game.
MIKE
A game?

SAM
Yeah.

MIKE
What are you, eight?
SAM
What are you, seventy-eight? Truth or
dare...?

MIKE
You gotta be--

SAM
Truth or dare?

He looks at her, intrigued.

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
The first time we met, you made a comment about
my ass. Why'd you do it?

MIKE
Because you have a great ass, and I noticed
it. So, I said it.
(A beat.)
Truth or dare?

SAM
Dare.

MIKE
Really...

SAM
Uh-huh.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 62.

A moment of tension.

MIKE
(Looking at the street.)
There’s a bald guy about to walk by down
there. Spit on his head.

SAM
No!

MIKE
You said dare.

SAM
Truth.

MIKE
Too late.

She stares into Mike's eyes, knowing she's being tested. She
leans over the railing and spits down toward the street.
SAM
Happy?

MAN (O.C.)
(From the street)
Fuck you!

Sam laughs. Mike smiles at her carefree laugh. It could be the
first time we've seen a genuine smile from him.

SAM
Truth or dare?

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
You're boring.
MIKE
Truth.

She stares him down.

SAM
(Nervous, pretending.)
Do you want to fool around with me?

A pause.

MIKE
No.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 63.

SAM
(Taken aback.)
Really? Why not?

MIKE
That's a second question.

SAM
It's a second part.

A pause.
MIKE
I'd be afraid I couldn't get it up.

Impressed with his honesty.

SAM
That didn't seem to be a problem for you on
stage.
MIKE
Nothing’s a problem for me on stage.

SAM
I wanna ask another question...

MIKE
You just asked--

SAM
One more.

MIKE
Go 'head.

SAM
If you weren't afraid. What would you want
to do to me?

He carefully considers it, then moves his face close to hers.
MIKE
I would want to pull the eyes out of your
head...

SAM
...That's sweet...

MIKE
...And stick them in my skull, and then
look out at this street and see it the way
I saw it when I was your age.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 64.

Mike turns and stares out at the street once more. Sam stares
at the mystery that is Mike.

SAM
G'night, Mike.

She walks away and into the building, never looking back.

A29 A29

Mike stares out into the night. We move to his POV. The street.
Night turns to day. Pedestrians begin to walk below.


B29 B29

We crawl down the wall until we arrive at Riggan's dressing
room window. We push in to find...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Mike and Sam play a game of truth or dare atop a rooftop, revealing their inner thoughts and fears.
Strengths "The dialogue is raw and honest, revealing the inner thoughts of the characters. The tension between them is palpable and the scene effectively builds on their personalities."
Weaknesses "The scene takes place on a rooftop which is not very exciting visually, and it doesn't do much to move the plot forward."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with good dialogue and character development. The rooftop setting adds tension and sets the tone for the conversation. The use of "truth or dare" is an effective way to reveal more about the characters and their thoughts, and the tension between them is palpable. However, the scene could benefit from more visual description to enhance the setting and emotion. It is important to balance dialogue with visual storytelling to engage the audience. Overall, a good scene with potential for even more depth.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to focus on the character's emotions and motivations more. Right now, the scene feels a bit aimless and doesn't have a clear purpose or conflict. It might be helpful to establish what both characters want and what's keeping them from getting it. Additionally, the dialogue could be more natural and less forced. Try reading it out loud or imagining how real people would speak in these situations. Lastly, consider adding some more visual description to make the rooftop setting feel more immersive and unique.



Scene 21 -  The New York Times Review
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
30 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - DAY 30
...Riggan siting with his feet on the window frame, staring at
a manila envelope in his hands that reads... "R, MALIBU
REFINANCE DOCS. SIGN AND SEND ASAP. J." Riggan sighs and props
the letter up against the mirror.

With a soft knock, Laura enters. She stands in the doorway with
an odd expression on her face.

RIGGAN
What now?
Laura lays the Arts section of the New York Times down in front
of Riggan.

LAURA
Don't kill the messenger.

Riggan picks up the paper. His expression immediately changes.
Laura watches him sympathetically.

LAURA (CONT'D)
He's an asshole.

Now we see the cover of the Arts section. There is a picture
of Mike lounging on a black sofa, his bare feet on a table as
he sips a glass of wine. The Title of the article reads...
"CARVING OUT HIS PLACE IN THEATER HISTORY. Shiner says Raymond
Carver is the reason he became an actor." Riggan involuntarily
squeezes the paper as he reads on, filling with rage.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
He’s fooling you.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 65.

RIGGAN
Shut up.

LAURA
(Confused.)
I didn't say anything.

RIGGAN
Fuck. This is it?
(He passes a few pages.)
This can't be it.
LAURA
Page twelve.

Riggan searches desperately for page twelve. When he gets
there, he finds a huge ad of the new Toyota Camry that almost
fills the entire page, and down in the left corner a tiny
press release with the title:

"From Birdman to Carver: An aging Action Hero Grasps for His
Youth."

RIGGAN
(Reading.)
"Riggan Thompson, better known as the face of
the Birdman films, tries not to lay an egg on
Broadway..."
(Flipping pages.)
Where's the rest of it?

LAURA
There is no rest of it.

RIGGAN
They didn’t use the photo I sent them.

LAURA
What photo?

RIGGAN
The one you liked. The one you said
I look like a young Jack Nicholson.

LAURA
(She lights a candle.)
Don't worry about it. Someone'll be using
that to pick up dog shit tomorrow.

RIGGAN
How can you be so calm about this?

LAURA
What are my other choices?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 66.

RIGGAN
Aren't you scared at all?

LAURA
About what?

RIGGAN
About being humiliated out there.

LAURA
It won't be the first time I've been
humiliated.

RIGGAN
I bet it won't.

Laura looks at him with fire in her eyes.

LAURA
You're an asshole.
She charges to the door and is about to leave when she turns
back to Riggan...

LAURA (CONT'D)
By the way... I'm not pregnant. So there's
one thing you don’t have to worry about.

She leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Riggan remains still. Mike seems to be smirking at him right
through the cover of the Arts section...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
That pretentious, little, theater fuck is
stealing your thunder.

Riggan charges out of the room and into...

31 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 31

...the hallway. He walks to Mike's dressing room, finds the
door half opened and enters...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan reads a review in The New York Times Arts section about Mike's performance and becomes enraged.
Strengths "The scene builds tension and raises the stakes for Riggan's character. Laura's calmness contrasts with Riggan's emotional outburst, highlighting his insecurities."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks significant character development and theme exploration."
Critique First, the scene effectively sets up the conflict between Riggan and Mike. However, there are some areas for improvement:

1. The dialogue feels a bit on the nose and lacks subtext. For example, Laura's line "don't kill the messenger" feels unnecessary and obvious.

2. The description of the Arts section cover could be more visual and vivid. For instance, "Mike lounging on a black sofa, his bare feet on a table as he sips a glass of wine" could be expanded to paint a more vivid picture of the scene.

3. The scene could benefit from more action and less talking. For example, instead of Riggan searching through the paper for page twelve, he could have thrown it in frustration, creating a more visceral moment.

Overall, the scene effectively advances the plot and establishes the conflict, but could benefit from more nuanced dialogue and description.
Suggestions Overall, this scene could benefit from a clearer goal and stronger emotional stakes for Riggan. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Clarify Riggan's goal: Right now, we know that Riggan is upset about the article on Mike and the lack of coverage for his own play, but we don't know exactly what he wants to achieve in response. Is he hoping to get revenge on Mike? Prove everyone wrong about his play? Save his reputation? Clarifying Riggan's specific goal in this scene will give it more focus and direction.

2. Increase emotional stakes: Riggan's anger and frustration are evident in the scene, but we could push them even further by showing more specifically how this news affects him. For example, we could see him lashing out at people he loves, or struggling to keep it together in front of his cast and crew. These emotional stakes will make Riggan's conflict feel more urgent and important.

3. Avoid expository dialogue: The conversation between Riggan and Laura about the newspaper article feels a bit too on-the-nose, with characters telling each other things they already know. Instead, find ways to reveal information more organically, through actions, expressions, or dialogue that feels more naturalistic.

4. Consider adding visual or sensory details: Right now, the scene is mostly dialogue-driven, with a few visual cues like the newspaper article thrown in. Adding more sensory details - like the sound of Riggan pacing in his dressing room, or the scent of burning candles - can help to create a more vivid and immersive world for the audience.

5. Think about pacing: Depending on how this scene fits into the larger story, it may benefit from faster or slower pacing. For example, if this is a pivotal turning point for Riggan, it might make sense to build tension more slowly and let the emotional stakes simmer. On the other hand, if this scene is meant to be a quick snapshot of Riggan's psyche before he takes action, a faster pace might be more effective. Finding the right balance between dialogue, action, and pacing will help to make the scene feel cohesive and impactful.



Scene 22 -  Riggan and Mike's Confrontation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
32 INT. MIKE'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 32

...discovering Mike lying in a sun bed. His arm is sticking
out of it, holding on to a copy of Borges's 'Labyrinths'.

Riggan yanks the sun bed open. Mike is asleep, wearing tiny
sun goggles. Riggan slams the lid down on him.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 67.

MIKE
What the fuck is going on!

RIGGAN
Get up!

MIKE
Back away.

RIGGAN
Get up.
Riggan slaps Mike on the arm.

MIKE
Ow, fuck that hurts!

RIGGAN
So, Carver is the reason you became an
actor?
MIKE
What?

RIGGAN
This is my play! I did the work. I raised the
money. I arrange the press.

MIKE
They called me for an interview. I said-- I
don't know, I said the first thing that
came to mind. Jesus, we got the cover of
the Arts section!

RIGGAN
You said the first-- Fuck the Arts section.
The first thing that came to mind? Right.
Cause that's you. Mr. Natural. Mr. Fuck the
scene, just stare at my massive hard-on.
Because that's the truth of the moment.
MIKE
You think it looked massive?

RIGGAN
Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You don't get
hard on my stage unless I tell you to.

MIKE
Your stage? This stage belonged to a lot of
great actor's, pal. But you are not one of
them.

Mike storms out of the room. Riggan follows him into...
10/29/14 / 68.

33 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 33

...the hallway. He slaps Mike on his sun burned back.

RIGGAN
So, you wrote your own lines?

He slaps him again.

MIKE
Ow. Fuck. Yes I did.

RIGGAN
You changed a few words, and mumbled a
little, you self absorbed prick.

MIKE
Look who's talking...

RIGGAN
Let me tell you something, you spiteful
nobody piece of shit.
MIKE
Nobody? My hard-on has already fifty
thousand views on youtube.

RIGGAN
Fifty thousand views? A cat playing with
a dildo has more than that.

MIKE
I don't care.

RIGGAN
Yes you do.
(Beat.)
Everybody says: "Mike is so honest". (Smacks
him.) "So truthful". (Smacks him again.)

MIKE
(Like a child.)
Ouch. Fuuuuuck. Cut the shit!
Riggan corners Mike against the wall.

RIGGAN
You said in the interview that your father
was a drunk, like Carver. Is that true
Mike? Is it really true?

Riggan stares intensely into Mike's eyes. Mike looks away.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 69.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Because my father was. My father was a mean
fucking drunk. Beat the shit out of us. But
we were okay with the beatings. You know
why? Because at least when he was beating
us, he wasn't thinking about taking us out
to his tool shed...

Mike's expression changes.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
That sonofabitch would smile and say, "Do
you want to kneel down and unbuckle my
belt? Or do you want me to take it off and
use it?" I learned how to make myself numb.
But my sister-- (Holding back tears.) My
little sister...

Riggan can't go on. Mike is horrified.

MIKE
Jesus, Riggan. I'm really sorry. I
didn't-- That's fucking horrible...

RIGGAN
(Crazy smile.)
Yeah. It's also not true. See? (Cracking
up.) I can pretend too, you little dick!

Riggan shoves Mike violently.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Don't fuck with me, Mike.

MIKE
You're crazy...

RIGGAN
You have no idea what I'm capable of. You
understand me?
Riggan pulls the paper out of his back pocket.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Working with Riggan Thomson is like
waltzing with a monkey?

He smacks Mike in the head with the paper and begins to jump in
front of him, ready to fight.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Let’s go. Put your hands up.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 70.

MIKE
(Tauntingly.)
Don't you want to go put on your tights and
your--

Riggan punches him on the face. Mike needs a few seconds to
understand what has just happened. Then they begin to wrestle
in the hallway. Mike breaks free from the headlock.

MIKE (CONT’D)
What are you gonna do? You gonna get rid of
me? Huh? What do you think my friend
Tabitha is going to write in the Times
after you get rid of me?

Riggan stares at Mike, paralyzed by the truth. Finally, he
turns and marches to his dressing room, and we follow him...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan confronts Mike about his behavior during the play and their argument quickly escalates into a physical fight with both men unleashing harsh truths about each other's lives and careers.
Strengths "Intense and emotionally charged dialogue between two well-developed characters, revealing a deep and complicated relationship."
Weaknesses "The physical altercation feels somewhat contrived and the use of exaggerated language at times feels forced."
Critique The scene is well-written and full of tension, with great dialogue between Riggan and Mike. The physical actions and violence also add excitement and drama to the scene. However, it is important to note that the use of physical violence should always be handled with care in screenwriting, as it can easily stray into glorifying or normalizing abusive behavior.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys the power struggle between Riggan and Mike and their conflicting attitudes towards the play and their roles in it. The reveal of Riggan's false story about his father adds a surprising twist to the scene and further showcases his unstable nature. The dialogue also reveals some of the characters' motivations and backstories, which deepen their personalities and make them more complex.

One potential critique is that the scene may feel somewhat disconnected from the rest of the plot. While it is a compelling moment in and of itself, it may not contribute significantly to the overall story arc. Nonetheless, it still serves to showcase the characters' personalities and relationships, which are important elements in any film or play.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Give more context. It's not clear why Riggan is so angry at Mike in the beginning of the scene, or why he feels so threatened by him. Adding some backstory or more exposition would give the audience a better understanding of what's happening.

2. Avoid cliche dialogue. Some of the lines in this scene feel like stock dialogue that we've heard in other movies before. Instead, try to give each character a unique voice and have them speak in a way that feels true to who they are.

3. Use more visual storytelling. Film is a visual medium, so try to show, not tell, as much as possible. Instead of having Riggan explain his backstory to Mike, for example, you could show brief flashbacks or use visual metaphors to convey his emotions.

4. Add more tension. Right now, this scene feels like it's building towards a physical altercation between Riggan and Mike, but it resolves somewhat anticlimactically when Riggan just walks away. Adding more tension or conflict could make the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.

5. Have the characters evolve. Depending on where you want the story to go, it might be interesting to have Riggan and Mike's relationship change over the course of this scene. Maybe they start out as bitter enemies but end up bonding over their shared experiences, or maybe their animosity only grows stronger. Either way, having the characters change in some way will make the scene feel more impactful.



Scene 23 -  Riggan's Breakdown
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
34 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 34

...Riggan slams the door shut and paces in a rage. He glares at
a make-up box on the table and, points his finger at it, and
sends it flying across the room.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You are lame, Riggan. Rolling around
with that third rate actor in an 800
seat shithole like this.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Breathing in, I feel my rage. Breathing
out, I embrace my mental formations.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You're going to let that poncey theater
fuck threaten you?

Riggan continues breathing deeply with his eyes tightly closed.
He smiles a tiny artificial smile.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out,
I ignore my mental formations. This is a
mental formation. This is a mental form--

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Stop that shit. I am not a mental
formation. I am "you", asshole.

Riggan looks down at the poster on the floor.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 71.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Leave me alone.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You were a movie star, remember?
Pretentious, but happy...

Riggan opens his eyes, slowly. A sad expression on his face.

RIGGAN
I was not happy.

BIRDMAN
...Ignorant but charming. Now you are a
tiny bitter cocksucker.

RIGGAN
Shut up! Stop whining! I was miserable!

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Yeah. But fake miserable. Hollywood
miserable.

Riggan points his fingers at a lamp and sends it flying.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
What are you trying to prove? Huh? That
you’re an artist? You’re not.

RIGGAN
Fuck you!

Riggan points his fingers at a chair and sends it flying.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Fuck you, coward! And fuck those critics
that made you quit. Our franchise
grossed billions worldwi--

RIGGAN
And billions of flies eat shit everyday!
So what? Does that make it good? (Beat.)
And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but
that was 1992! Look at me! (He takes off
his shirt.) This is what's left!
(Grabbing his neck.) This! (Grabbing his
chest.) This! (Totally exploding.) I'm
fucking disappearing! I'm the answer to a
fucking trivial pursuit question.

Riggan sits down, exhausted.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 72.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
What part of that don't you get? You're
fucking dead.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We are not dead. We’re--

RIGGAN
Stop saying 'we'! There is no 'we'. I am
not you. I'm Riggan fucking Thomson.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
No. You're Birdman. Because without me, all
that's left is "you". A sad, selfish,
mediocre actor, grasping--

Riggan points his finger and sends the poster flying, spearing
it on a coat rack, piercing Birdman right through the heart.
Finally, silence. Until...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
What the hell did you do that for? I liked
that poster.

A confused Riggan looks over to the wall, where the lamp on the
floor is creating a shadow of his figure. Only in the shadow, it
appears as if Riggan is wearing the Birdman costume. Stunned,
Riggan slowly lifts one arm and in the shadow we see a wing.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
It's always 'we' brother.

The television turns on by itself, playing an episode of the
original Birdman cartoon. Riggan points his fingers at the tv
and sends it hurling at the shadow. Then he proceeds to
destroy everything in his room with his telekinetic powers.

We slowly pan to see that, behind Riggan, Jake stands on the
other side of the half-opened door. We push in on Jake,
watching in shock. The camera turns and becomes Jake's POV...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan has a mental breakdown after reading a review of the play. Birdman taunts him, Riggan tries to calm down using breathing techniques, but gets angrier until he destroys everything in his dressing room with his telekinetic powers. Jake witnesses this.
Strengths "Intense confrontation between Riggan and Birdman, spectacular use of telekinesis, climactic"
Weaknesses "Somewhat predictable and clich\u00e9d"
Critique The scene is well-crafted and highly emotional. The dialogue between Riggan and Birdman is particularly strong, revealing the internal struggle Riggan faces as he tries to distance himself from his past. The use of telekinetic powers adds a surreal element to the scene, highlighting Riggan's fragile mental state.

One possible critique is that some of the action, such as Riggan sending objects flying across the room, may be difficult to visualize in a practical sense. However, this is a minor issue and does not detract much from the overall impact of the scene.

Overall, the scene is a powerful exploration of the human psyche and the complex nature of personal identity.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add some visual cues or actions to help the audience follow Riggan's transformation and the appearance of the Birdman shadow. It could also be helpful to provide more context for why Riggan is so angry and why Birdman is taunting him. Additionally, some of the dialogue between Riggan and Birdman could be condensed or rephrased to make it more clear and impactful. Finally, the scene could benefit from some more visual variety - perhaps some camera movement or different angles to break up the static shots.



Scene 24 -  Riggan's Breakdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
35 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 35

...and now, from his view, we see Riggan yelling at the shadow.

RIGGAN
Fuck you! Fuck you!

He picks up a chair and throws it down. He then picks up the
newspaper from the floor and tossing it all around. And now we
understand that he is not using telepathy. He has been using
only his hands. Completely mad. As Riggan turns to pick up
something else, he spots Jake on the other side of the door. He
immediately calms himself and walks over.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 73.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
What's up?

JAKE
Um... Well. Two hours to curtain. Why don’t
you rest a little bit?

RIGGAN
Yeah. Sure.

JAKE
Last preview, buddy. We’re almost there.

RIGGAN
Okay.

JAKE
How ya doin?

RIGGAN
Good. Great.
JAKE
Good. That's good.
(A beat.)
The, uh, money came through. I just have to
transfer it to the account.

RIGGAN
Oh, that's terrific...

JAKE
Okay. Well, I'm gonna do that.
(He stares at Riggan who
seems about to collapse.)
You know I’m proud of you, right? This took
balls. And you did it.

Riggan nods. An exhausted sadness in his eyes.

RIGGAN
I can’t do this anymore, Jake.

JAKE
What?

RIGGAN
I think I’m gonna cancel the
preview. I’m exhausted.

JAKE
It’s a joke, right? (He forces a
laugh.) Good one, Riggan.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 74.

RIGGAN
I’m starting to believe that this is not
for me. The applause is... lukewarm. I
think they’re laughing at me.

JAKE
What are you--? Listen. There’s a three
block line of people waiting to see you.
We are sold out. It’s a full house.

RIGGAN
Really?

JAKE
Yes. And the French embassador is
coming. And the prince of Saudi Arabia,
with one of his wives. And... I wasn’t
going to tell you this, but-- Martin
Scorsese. He’s casting for his new
film. But don’t tell anyone, okay? This
is between you and me.
RIGGAN
Okay. I’ll be ready.

Riggan smiles. He has forgotten about his existential doubts.
A worried Jake closes the door. He walks a few steps and
finds Laura and Lesley. They’ve been listening to his
conversation with Riggan.

LESLEY
How is he?

JAKE
He’ll be okay.

LESLEY
Poor creature.

LAURA
Is it true? Scorsese?
JAKE
Yes. And the new Pope too.
(Beat.)

They both understand.

LAURA
You’re an asshole, Jake.

JAKE
I’m the one keeping this boat afloat.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 75.

LESLEY
So there is no line of people out there?

JAKE
I don’t know. Now go and get ready.
That’s your job.
(He begins to walk.)
I’ll better invest in a taco truck, or
a strip joint near the airport.

Laura leaves. We follow Lesley up to Riggan’s dressing room.
She knocks on the door. Nothing. Silence. She half-opens the
door and, from behind her, we see Riggan examining his right
hand. He has blood falling from the palm to the wrist.

LESLEY
Are you okay?

RIGGAN
(Smiles.)
Yeah, I-- This is nothing. Shaving.
He cleans his hand against his trousers.

LESLEY
I just want to say I'm sorry.

RIGGAN
For what?

LESLEY
I knew what Mike was capable of,
and I brought him in, anyway.

RIGGAN
You did good.

Lesley nods. A beat.

LESLEY
Tomorrow's my first opening night
on Broadway.

RIGGAN
Mine too.

LESLEY
And I want you to know that,
whatever happens, I'll always be
grateful to you for that.

RIGGAN
Me too. It’s going to be great. Full
house.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 76.

She looks at him with tender eyes. Then we follow her along
the corridor until she passes by Mike’s dressing room. Mike
half-opens the door and sees Lesley walking by. He has a
black eye. He waits for Lesley to be completely gone, and
then he comes out of his dressing room and we follow him up
the stairs to...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan breaks down and has a physical outburst in his dressing room after reading a review. Jake walks in and tries to calm him down before informing him that they have a full house, including important guests like the French ambassador and Martin Scorsese.
Strengths "The emotional impact of Riggan's breakdown is significant and adds depth to his character. The dialogue is also strong, highlighting the internal struggles of the characters and their relationships."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel slightly repetitive as Riggan's breakdown has been previously established. Additionally, the focus on Riggan's breakdown takes away from the other characters and their individual arcs."
Critique Overall, this is a well-written scene with strong dialogue that intensifies the emotional conflict of the protagonist, Riggan. However, there are a few aspects that could be improved upon. For one, it would be beneficial to have more description and action to set the scene and provide visual interest. The scene currently relies too much on the dialogue to carry the story forward. Moreover, the transition from Riggan throwing objects in the beginning of the scene to suddenly calming down when he sees Jake feels jarring and abrupt. It would be helpful to have some physical or emotional signal that indicates this change in behavior. Additionally, it might be useful to make sure that the characters have distinct voices and personalities, as at times they can seem interchangeable. While there is some subtext and unspoken tension between the characters, it could benefit from more subtlety and nuance. Overall, however, this scene is strong and effectively conveys Riggan's inner turmoil and self-doubt while setting up the stakes for the upcoming premiere.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to show more of Riggan's internal struggle and vulnerability. Right now, we only see him briefly losing control in the hallway before immediately calming down when he sees Jake. But what if we saw more of his inner turmoil leading up to this outburst, perhaps through a flashback or a conversation with another character? This would make his breakdown more impactful and give the audience a deeper understanding of his character.

Additionally, the dialogue between Jake and Riggan could be more nuanced. Right now, it feels too on-the-nose and doesn't leave much room for subtlety. Maybe there could be more subtext to their conversation, with Jake trying to ease Riggan's doubts about himself and the play in a more nuanced way.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. Right now, it's mostly just dialogue and action, but adding in more visual cues or symbolism can add depth and meaning to the scene. For example, maybe Riggan's hand injury could be a metaphor for his emotional pain and struggle, and the scene could explore this more explicitly.



Scene 25 -  Rooftop Conversations
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9
38 EXT. ROOFTOP - THEATER - DUSK 38
...the rooftop. He finds Sam standing on the cornice, looking
at the street.

MIKE
For fuck's sake, just jump already.

Sam stares out, a smile creeping over her face.
SAM
How did you know I'd be up here?

MIKE
I didn't. I was just hoping.

Silence. Mike walks up next to her and stares out as well.

SAM
Where's Lesley?

MIKE
Moving on.

SAM
Smart girl...

MIKE
I appreciate that.
A beat.

SAM
Ready for the last preview?
(Noticing his black eye.)
Who did that to you?

Mike smiles. No answer.

SAM (CONT’D)
Could have been anybody, I guess.
(After a beat.)
I’m sort of hoping it was Lesley.
He barely says no, smiling, and lights a cigarette. She
understands.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 77.

SAM (CONT’D)
Oh, don’t tell me...

Silence.

MIKE
What's the worst thing he ever did to
you?

Sam is surprised by the question. She thinks for a moment.
SAM
He was never around, so...

MIKE
That was--?

SAM
No. That was-- Who gives a shit. It
was the way he tried to make up for
it by constantly trying to convince
me I was special. (A beat.) What
about you?

MIKE
My dad?

SAM
Yeah.

MIKE
He pretended I was his son.

She stares him down. Silence.

SAM
So, what happens now?

MIKE
I have no idea...
SAM
Yeah...

A beat.

MIKE
He was right, though.

SAM
About what?

MIKE
About your being special. You’re hanging
around here trying to make yourself
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 78.
MIKE (CONT'D)
invisible behind that fragile little fuck
up routine. But you can’t. You’re
anything but invisible. You’re big. And
you’re sort of this really great mess, a
candle burning at both ends, and no
amount of booze or pills is gonna hide
that.

Sam tosses Mike’s cigarette over the balcony, and kisses him.
He leans into the kiss.
MAN'S VOICE
(From below.)
Jesus Fuck!

She suddenly pulls away.

SAM
It's a good thing you're an actor and not a
writer cause that little speech was just
like, Oprah... Hallmark... R. Kelly bad.
She kisses him lightly one more time and then walks away. When
she gets to the door she stops and leans on the frame.

SAM (CONT’D)
Truth or dare?

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
No.

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
No. Truth or dare?

The slightest smile as she exits through the door, and after a
short pause, Mike follows...

39 INT. HALLWAYS - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS 39

...along a darkened hallway. They reach a tiny wooden door and
Sam leads the way through it.

MIKE
Do you have any idea where you're going?

SAM
Absolutely not.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 79.

She continues on until she gets to...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Mike and Sam have a candid conversation on the rooftop of the theater. They talk about their past and present relationships and reflect on their lives as struggling actors. They share a kiss before parting ways.
Strengths "Realistic dialogue, strong character development"
Weaknesses "Lacks major plot developments, low stakes"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with natural dialogue and good pacing. The characters feel distinct, and the conversation feels genuine. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, the opening line ("...the rooftop. He finds Sam standing on the cornice, looking at the street.") is a little too vague. It doesn't give us a clear idea of the setting, and it's unclear who "he" is until later in the scene. Some more specific description could help ground the reader in the setting and set the tone for the scene.

Secondly, the physical action in the scene could be more clearly described. For example, when Sam kisses Mike, it's unclear where they are in relation to each other and how they're standing. Clearer direction would help the reader visualize the scene more clearly.

Finally, the dialogue could be more concise in some places. For example, Sam's line "It's a good thing you're an actor and not a writer cause that little speech was just like, Oprah... Hallmark... R. Kelly bad" feels a bit overwritten and on-the-nose. The sentiment could be expressed more simply without sacrificing the humor of the line.

Overall, though, this scene is a strong example of naturalistic dialogue and character-driven storytelling.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Develop the characters more: The dialogue feels a bit generic, and it doesn't reveal much about the characters. Consider adding more specific details about their personalities, histories, and motivations. This will help the audience connect with them more and make the scene more engaging.

2. Add more suspense: There isn't much tension in the scene, despite being on a rooftop and having characters contemplating jumping or not. Consider adding more suspenseful elements, such as a sudden gust of wind or someone unexpected appearing on the rooftop.

3. Simplify the dialogue: The dialogue feels a bit too wordy and on-the-nose at times. Consider simplifying it and allowing the subtext to come through in the character's actions and reactions.

4. Clarify the setting: The scene takes place on a rooftop, but it's not entirely clear where they are or what the view is like. Consider adding more description to help the audience visualize the setting and make it more immersive.

5. Add more visual elements: Along with developing the characters and setting, think about adding more visual elements to the scene. This could include props, lighting, or even camera angles that help convey the mood and tone.



Scene 26 -  Love and Betrayal on Stage
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
40 INT. ABOVE STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 40

...the "grid" above stage where the lights are located. We can
see, below us, the empty seats of the auditorium and the
kitchen set.

MIKE
What now...?

Mike reaches up to kiss her. She stops him.

SAM
How do you do it?
MIKE
What?

SAM
How do you go out there and pretend to be
someone else in front of all those people?

MIKE
I don't pretend. Not out there. Just about
every place else, but never out there.

SAM
Good to know.

They stare at one another...

MIKE
What are we doing here?

SAM
What do you mean?

MIKE
I mean, what are we doing here?

She moves in.

SAM
Adrenaline...
They kiss. The camera begins to drift down toward the stage...

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Fucking teenager.

As the camera continues down from the grid, we discover an
auditorium full of people staring at the actors on stage.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 80.

RIGGAN (O.S) (CONT’D)
By the time I got to the hospital, the
kid was dead. He was off in a corner
laid out on a gurney. We took the old
couple up to the O.R.. They were a
mess. We worked like hell on them for
most of the night...

We pan along the auditorium back to the stage to find Riggan,
Mike, Lesley and Laura in the kitchen.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in
full body casts. The husband was
depressed. Even when I told him his
wife was gonna pull through, he was
still depressed. So, I got up to his
mouth hole and asked him, and he told
me it was because he couldn't see her
through the eye holes. Can you imagine?
I’m telling you, the man's heart was
breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

LESLEY
(In genuine tears.)
That's terrible. (Beat.) Perfect.
And terrible.

She is crushed. Laura holds Lesley, trying to control her own
emotion.

RIGGAN
(Taking this in.)
Yeah. So I guess what we have to
ask ourselves is... What do we talk
about when we talk about love?

The lights go to a blackout and the audience applauds as some
scene change music plays. As we follow Riggan off stage, the
lights are turned on again, but now they have an orange mood.
Lesley is the only one on stage, doing a monologue.

LESLEY
Mel and I have been together five
years, been married for four. But
it was Ed who taught me something
no one else could... He taught me
what it felt like to really feel
loved. And the terrible thing is
that if something happened to Mel
or myself, if something happened to
either one of us tomorrow, I think
the other one would grieve for a
while, you know, but then would go
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 81.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
out and love again, have someone
else soon enough. All this-- All of
this love we’re talking about... it
would just be a memory. Maybe not
even a memory. Am I wrong? I mean,
I don’t know anything. And I’m the
first one to admit it.

A Dresser waits in the wings to help Riggan with his change.

DRESSER
That was amazing!

Riggan looks proud. Things are finally going well. He undresses
to his underwear and puts on a robe and his moccasins, as the
stage begins to revolve. Laura, in costume, walks up beside
him. Over the following dialogue, the kitchen gives way to the
extravagant garden set we saw before.

LAURA
(A bit distant.)
It's actually going well.

RIGGAN
Yeah. (A beat.) Hey. I think we have to
talk.

LAURA
(Sad smile.)
No. We don't.

Riggan nods.

RIGGAN
Right. (Beat.) We will eventually,
though, ‘cause that’s the only way I get
to say I’m sorry. I really am.

Silence.

LAURA
We could've made good parents.

RIGGAN
Horrible. We would've been just--

LAURA
Awful. Would have raised, like...

RIGGAN
...a serial killer...

LAURA
...or Justin Bieber.
(She smiles at him.)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 82.
LAURA (CONT'D)
I'm not really the housewife type anyway. I
thought I could be a mom. My body seems to
disagree.

The lights come up and Laura walks onto the stage.

LAURA (CONT’D)
(Back to him.)
You were right. This was fun.
Riggan watches her go, but something else grabs his attention.
We pan across the stage to see Sam and Mike on the other side.
They talk and laugh. Sam kisses Mike softly. Mike playfully
grabs her ass.

We pan back to Riggan. His expression morphs from broken-
hearted to rage. He marches over to a stage hand.
RIGGAN
You have a cigarette?

The stage hand holds out a pack, Riggan takes one.

STAGE HAND
You need a light?

Riggan snatches the lighter and storms out through the hallway,
and out the back door of the theater to...
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Riggan witnesses Sam and Mike's flirtatious behavior, leading to his intense rage. Meanwhile, Lesley performs a powerful monologue about love.
Strengths "The scene showcases intense emotional conflicts and realistic character development, particularly with Lesley's monologue on love. The use of lighting and camera angles effectively builds tension and anticipation. The theme of pretense vs. authenticity is prevalent throughout the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene's pacing could have been improved, as it seems to drag at times. Some of the dialogue feels forced and unnatural."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue is realistic and flows well, and the characters' emotions and motivations are clear. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

First, the transition from Riggan's monologue to Lesley's feels abrupt. It's not clear why the focus suddenly shifts to Lesley and her relationship troubles, and it could benefit from a smoother connection.

Second, while the dialogue is strong, there are some moments where it feels a bit overwritten or on-the-nose. For example, Lesley's monologue about love feels a bit too on-the-nose and could be subtler in its delivery.

Finally, the ending feels a bit rushed and abrupt. It's not entirely clear why Riggan is angry about Sam and Mike's interaction, and it's not clear what he's going to do next. It could benefit from a clearer resolution.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene is to add more visual cues to enhance the emotions and tension between the characters. Instead of relying solely on dialogue, consider incorporating physical actions or gestures that convey the characters' feelings towards each other. For example, when Sam stops Mike from kissing her, she could push him away or take a step back to show her hesitation or discomfort. When Riggan sees Sam and Mike together, he could clench his fists or his jaw to show his anger. Additionally, adding more descriptive language to the setting and character actions can create a more immersive experience for the reader and help them visualize the scene in their minds.



Scene 27 -  Riggan's Public Breakdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
41 EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS 41

...the alley. Down at the end, we can see the tourists making
their way about the streets. Riggan lights the cigarette and
leans back against the stage door trying to calm himself.

RIGGAN
Breathing in, I calm myself. Breathing out,
I ease myself.

But this is New York City. A fluorescent light buzzes above his
head. Taxis honk their horns. The sound of pedestrians yelling
at one another. All fueling his agitation.
Riggan checks his watch. He pulls one last drag from the
cigarette before he tosses it, and turns to head back in, only
to realize the door has locked. He tries to pull it open to no
avail. He begins to knock loudly on the door. There is no
response. He knocks louder. Nothing.

He is turning to walk away when he realizes that his robe is
caught in the door. He checks his watch again and now is
beginning to panic. He tries to tear at the robe but the terry
cloth is too strong for him to rip. Frantically, he looks around
for an answer. No answer. No time. He pulls the robe off of him
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 83.

and, wearing only his underwear and moccasins, he charges down
the alley way toward...

42 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 42

...the street. Now, rushing down the block in his underwear. A
tourist spots him.

TOURIST
Hey, aren't you...?

RIGGAN
I'm sorry. I can't really--

TOURIST
Riggan Thompson! Holy Shit! Let me get an
autograph.

Riggan marches on as a few more people begin to notice. The
Tourist runs in front of him, forcing him to stop.

TOURIST (CONT'D)
Come on, man. Don't be a dick. Let me have
an autograph.

The man produces a pen and a magazine from his pocket. More
people begin to gather...

MAN ON STREET
Birdman!

Seeing no other way out, Riggan signs the autograph.

TOURIST
Dude! You fuckin' rock!

Directly in front of him stand a lady and her two kids.

LADY
Can we take one picture?

RIGGAN
Are you kidding me?

KID #1
Why is he naked?
LADY
One picture...

KID #2
I can see his weenie.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 84.

Riggan tries to get past them, but a crowd has formed. A swarm
of cell phones begin to glow like fireflies.

LADY
(To her kids.)
Get next to him!

RIGGAN
Give me a fucking break, lady.

The kids run up next to him. Even more people crowding around.
Riggan puts up his middle finger, just as the Lady takes the
shot. He shoves the kids aside and moves on.

WOMAN ON STREET
He looks so old in person.

MAN ON STREET
(From across the street.)
You suck!
RIGGAN
Fuck you!

Riggan pushes through the crowd to get to the lobby. The people
begin to chant. Dozens of cell phones recording him.

CROWD
Bird-man! Bird-man! Bird-man!

Riggan pushes his way through to the lobby doors...

43 INT. LOBBY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 43

...to be stopped by the vision of Ralph in a wheelchair. His
head wrapped in a bandage. A man in a suit next to him.

RIGGAN
Jesus Christ! What're you doing here?

RALPH
Waiting for Jake. This is Mr. Roth, my
attorney.

Riggan continues walking toward the auditorium. Ralph and Mr.
Roth follow him.

MR. ROTH
We're pursuing financial remuneration for the
injuries Mr. Pinkus suffered while rehearsing
your--

RIGGAN
I have a play to do.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 85.

RALPH
I'm going to ruin you!

Riggan storms toward the auditorium, but is stopped by an old
Usher.

OLD USHER
I'm sorry sir, you're going to have--

Riggan shoves the old lady aside and enters...
Genres: ["drama","comedy"]

Summary Riggan has a mental breakdown and is locked out of his dressing room in his underwear. He is then noticed by tourists and is asked for autographs and pictures, which leads to his intense rage. He is then stopped by Ralph and his lawyer, who are pursuing compensation for Ralph's injuries during rehearsal. Riggan shoves aside an old usher and enters the auditorium.
Strengths "The scene creates intense conflict and emotional impact, and moves the plot forward significantly."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be stronger, and some character motivations are unclear."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the character's increasing sense of panic and desperation. However, there are a couple of things that could be improved:

1. The dialogue at the beginning feels a bit heavy-handed and on-the-nose in terms of expressing Riggan's attempts to calm himself. This could be more subtly conveyed through his actions and demeanor.

2. The encounter with the tourist feels a bit contrived and convenient, and the dialogue could be tightened up to make it feel more natural.

3. The Lady and her kids asking for a picture with Riggan feels like a cliché and somewhat unrealistic scenario.

Other than those minor issues, the scene effectively builds tension and sets up some of the conflicts and obstacles that Riggan will face throughout the rest of the story.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to focus the scene more on Riggan's emotional journey and internal conflict rather than just his physical predicament. This can be achieved by adding more inner dialogue or voiceover, or by showing flashbacks or dream sequences that reveal his inner turmoil. Additionally, the scene could benefit from a clearer sense of pacing and escalation, with more peaks and valleys in the tension and conflict. Lastly, it may be helpful to give Riggan more agency and proactive choices that drive the action, rather than just reacting to the external circumstances.



Scene 28 -  Riggan's breakdown on stage
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
44 INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 44

...the theater. Riggan stands in the back among the audience.
He sees the "rain" falling on the stage. The "Motel" sign is
lit. Mike and Lesley are in bed, for the motel scene, waiting
for the knock on the door. With nothing else to do, Riggan
yells his line from the back of the auditorium...

RIGGAN
Knock knock knock! Terri! Terri!

The audience turns to see Riggan standing in his underwear.
They begin to murmur and laugh and point at him.
Riggan marches down the aisle. He looks haggard and covered
with perspiration.

Lesley and Mike, confused, come out of bed.

LESLEY
Ed! What are you doing here?

RIGGAN
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you-- I worshipped you...

MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--

RIGGAN
Fuck you. Shut up. Fuck you.

Giggles from the audience. Riggan turns threateningly and points
to an audience member on the aisle who is giggling at him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Shut up!

The guy stops smiling. The audience goes silent. Riggan arrives
at the apron of the stage. Annie from the wings slides the gun
towards him. Riggan grabs it and points it at Mike.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 86.

LESLEY
Eddie! Please!

Riggan climbs onto the stage. Exhausted. He goes to Mike and,
with a last effort, pushes him lamely.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end
up having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.

We pan to the wings where Jake is staring in disbelief. His
cellphone begins to vibrate, and he answers.

JAKE
Yeah. (A beat.) What?... No no no no no no
no. Wait there. I'm coming out in--

He walks toward the hallway and we follow him...

45 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 45

...through the corridor.

JAKE
No. Wait. Wait for me. I'll be there in a
second. (Beat.) What is that, a threat?
(Beat.) What wheelchair? (Beat.) Wait.
Don't hang up. Mr. Roth, we can discuss--
Hello?... Hello?...

He goes out one of the exits and we are left with the silence of
the empty hallway. After a few seconds, the sound of the gunshot
from the scene echoes through the theater. The audience
applauds. The camera starts to move forward. A few seconds later
Riggan takes over the POV with his bloody long wig and the fake
gun. We follow up to...
Genres: ["drama","comedy"]

Summary Riggan has a mental breakdown on stage while rehearsing a play, causing chaos and confusion among the cast and audience members.
Strengths "Intense, unpredictable, and emotional scene that showcases the turmoil within Riggan's character."
Weaknesses "Some moments of awkward humor that detract from the serious tone of the scene."
Critique Overall, this is a well-written scene with a lot of tension and conflict. However, there are a few areas that could be strengthened.

Firstly, it's not entirely clear what the context of the scene is. While it's suggested that this is part of a play or performance, it would be helpful to establish this more explicitly. Otherwise, it's hard to understand the stakes and why Riggan is behaving so erratically.

Secondly, some of the dialogue could be more nuanced. For example, when Riggan says "Why do I end up having to beg people to love me?" it feels a bit on the nose. It might be more effective if the subtext was conveyed through more subtle actions or gestures.

Finally, the transition between the hallway scene and the gunshot feels a bit abrupt. It might be helpful to build in more tension or anticipation before the shot is fired, so that it feels like a true climax to the scene.

Overall, though, this is a strong piece of writing with a lot of potential. With a bit of tweaking, it could be even more impactful.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the context: The audience may be confused as to why Riggan is standing in his underwear and yelling his line. This confusion could be avoided if there is a clear setup that establishes the situation and the environment. For example, showing Riggan rushing to the theater after realizing he forgot his costume and getting stuck in his underwear could make the audience understand the context better.

2. Establish character motivations: There needs to be more clarity in why Riggan is acting out in this way. Is he having a breakdown due to the pressure of the play, or is he trying to make a statement? This motivation should be established early on, so the audience can connect with the character's emotions.

3. Building tension: The scene needs to build tension gradually so that the climax feels justified. Instead of having Riggan point the gun at Mike right away, there could be a back and forth conversation between the characters in which Riggan's desperation grows, and he eventually pulls out the gun.

4. Character development: The scene offers an opportunity to reveal more about the character's persona. Riggan's insecurities and the need for validation could be explored further, adding depth to his character.

5. Dialogue: The dialogue needs to be more impactful and contribute to the tension built instead of feeling like filler material. It should also reveal more about the characters' relationships with each other.

By addressing these suggestions, the scene could be improved and become a memorable moment in the story.



Scene 29 -  Riggan's Reflection
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 0
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
46 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 46

...his dressing room. He puts on a robe. He walks to his
refrigerator without acknowledging Sam who is sitting on the
couch, scribbling her dashes on the toilet paper once again.
Riggan takes out a plastic container of bologna and a jar of
mustard. He sits in front of his dressing table, peels open the
bologna and opens the jar of mustard. Slice by slice, he dips
the bologna in the mustard and shoves it into his mouth.

SAM
Dad...?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 87.

RIGGAN
(Looking up.)
Hey. How ya doin'?

SAM
Are you okay?

RIGGAN
Why?

SAM
I don't know. You seem--

RIGGAN
(Eating.)
I'm good. This is good.
(Holding out a piece.)
You want some?

SAM
I'm good.
RIGGAN
Great. Great.

He continues to eat. She tries to fill the odd silence.

SAM
So. Opening night, tomorrow.

RIGGAN
Yeah.

SAM
That's exciting, huh?

RIGGAN
Yeah. Well... I don't know. The previews
have been a train wreck. We haven't been
able to get through a performance
without a raging fire... or a raging
hard-on. I'm not really sleeping, you
know, at all. And I'm pretty much broke.
Oh, and also, this play feels like a
miniature, deformed version of myself
that keeps following me around, hitting
me in the balls with a tiny hammer.
(Beat.)
Sorry, what was your question?

SAM
(Looking through phone.)
Never mind... Tonight wasn't bad. It was
weird. But that's sort of cool. People
seemed to like it.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 88.

Silence. Riggan notices the toilet paper.

RIGGAN
What are you doing? Some homework?

SAM
No. I don't-- When I was in rehab, they
made us do this.

RIGGAN
Really...
SAM
Yeah. These dashes, represent the six
billion years the planet has existed.
Each dash represents 100 years.

She unravels the roll and we see that there are thousands of
black marks running along the toilet paper. She takes the last
two panels and tears them off.
SAM (CONT'D)
And this... (Hands them to him.) ...is
supposed to represent the entire time us
humans have been here. One hundred and
fifty thousand years. That's it.
(Beat.)
I guess they were trying to remind us
that that's what all our egos and self-
obsession are worth.

Riggan stares at the paper, and then at Sam.

RIGGAN
(Casually.)
I was a shitty father, wasn't I?

SAM
No. You were a-- (She stops herself.)
You were fine.
He stops chewing and stares out.

RIGGAN
Fine... You're right. I am just
"fine". Adorably mediocre.

He smiles to her sadly, and then he wipes the mustard from his
face with the piece of toilet paper.

SAM
Dad!

RIGGAN
What?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 89.

Sam looks at the ruined toilet paper in his hands.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Oh... Shit. I'm sorry.

SAM
(Smiling.)
It's okay. You just destroyed the entire
human race in one blow.

Riggan looks at her with the saddest of expressions.
SAM (CONT’D)
Dad. (She hesitates.) Do you know
you’re becoming a trending topic?

RIGGAN
Really? What does that mean?

Sam searches for something on her iPhone and then hands it to
Riggan. Riggan looks at the phone and sees a hand-held video of
himself in the streets in his underwear.

SAM
350,000 views in less than an hour.
Believe it or not, this is power.

Riggan looks at more footage, seemingly confused. After a
moment, the phone vibrates and the video is interrupted by a
text message, which reads “Truth or Dare?”

RIGGAN
It’s for you.

She grabs the phone and looks at the screen. Then at her
father. Riggan is staring at her. She looks down.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Go ahead...

SAM
(Hesitant.)
Are you...?

RIGGAN
Go.

A sympathetic smile. An understanding. Sam exits.

Riggan stares into the mirror absently. His eyes locked on
his reflection trying to find himself in the image. Then he
spots a vase with dying roses, the same roses he flung to the
ground previously.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 90.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom. He pulls off the long
wig and the mustache. He washes his face. Then he opens a
small bottle and uses the liquid to scrub his goatee. The
dark dye begins to run out, leaving only white hair. For the
first time we see that Riggan has a white beard.

He puts on new clothes and comes out of the bathroom. He grabs
a beige raincoat and heads out of the dressing room and
into...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan has a candid conversation with his daughter and reflects on his past as a father. He becomes aware of his viral video on the internet, leading to self-reflection and an identity crisis.
Strengths "The scene provides a powerful insight into Riggan's internal struggle and self-doubt. The dialogue between him and Sam is raw and emotional, showcasing a complex father-daughter relationship."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks significant plot development and action, contributing little to the overall story."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the emotional state of the two characters, Riggan and Sam. The dialogue is natural and believable, and the use of props, such as the toilet paper with Sam's dashes, adds depth to the scene. The physical action of Riggan eating bologna and mustard also provides a contrast to the emotional tension between the characters.

One potential critique is that the scene is lacking in action and could benefit from some visual interest. However, this could also be intentional in order to focus solely on the characters' emotional turmoil. Additionally, the use of the phone video adds some visual interest.

Overall, this is a well-crafted scene that effectively conveys the characters' emotional state and sets up the plot for the rest of the film.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions I would make to improve this scene:

1. Tighten up the dialogue: While the dialogue feels natural, it could benefit from some tightening up to make it more impactful. Cutting out some of the filler words and phrases would make the dialogue punchier and more memorable.

2. Add more tension: The scene doesn't have much tension or conflict, which makes it feel a bit flat. Adding more tension between Riggan and Sam would make the scene more engaging for the viewer.

3. Use the setting: The dressing room setting could be utilized more effectively to create a sense of claustrophobia or discomfort. This would enhance the emotional impact of the scene and make it more memorable for viewers.

4. Give the characters more depth: Riggan and Sam are interesting characters, but they could use more depth. Adding more backstory to their relationship would make the scene more emotional and impactful for viewers.

5. Show, don't tell: Instead of having the characters explain their emotions and motivations through dialogue, show these things through actions and body language. This will make the scene more subtle and allow the audience to draw their own conclusions about the characters' emotional states.



Scene 30 -  Tabitha Destroys Riggan's Play
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 10
47 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 47

...the hallway. As he passes by Mike’s door he can hear Sam and
Mike. They’re trying to be as quiet as possible, but we can hear
them flirting and laughing.

He pauses for a moment but continues on. After a few seconds,
his phone vibrates. He looks at it. A text from Jake reads:
“Have you seen this??? Awesome!!!” He clicks the attachment and
sees the, now infamous, video of his underwear escapade in the
street. We zoom in until the image fills the screen, when we
finally pull away, we discover that...

48 INT. RUM HOUSE - LATER 48
...Riggan's video is being played now in a television in the
bar. We see the MTV logo on the bottom of the screen and a video
caption that reads: “Birdman goes viral, 930.000 views and
counting”. The camera pans to find Riggan sitting at the bar,
drunk. He is one of the few customers. He polishes off his
drink.
RIGGAN
Let me have another one.

BARTENDER
You got it.

The bartender pours another whiskey for Riggan. A waiter steps
up to the bar. The bartender points to a martini.

BARTENDER (CONT'D)
(To the waiter.)
That's going over to Ms. Dickinson.

Riggan's head tilts at the mention of the name. He looks over to
see Tabitha sitting at a table, scratching in her notebook.

RIGGAN
(Hands the waiter a bill.)
I got it. She's a friend of mine.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 91.

The waiter pockets the money and gives Riggan the drink. He
walks it over to Tabitha and places it down in front of her. Not
looking up, she pulls the drink closer and takes a sip.

Riggan sits down across from her. She looks up and immediately
recognizes him. He takes out the Carver cocktail napkin and
pushes it in front of her. She looks at him, and then down to
the napkin. She reads it in silence.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
(Re: The napkin.)
That was twenty years before I put on that
damned costume.

A pause. Then she pushes the napkin back toward him.

TABITHA
I don't care.

RIGGAN
I'm just saying, when you come tomorrow
night, I want you--

TABITHA
It doesn’t matter.

RIGGAN
What are you--

TABITHA
I'm going to destroy your play.

RIGGAN
You haven't even seen it. I don't-- Did I
do something to offend you?

TABITHA
As a matter of fact you did. You took up
space in a theater which otherwise might
have been used on something worthwhile.
RIGGAN
But you don't even know if it's--

TABITHA
That’s true. I haven't read a word of it,
or even seen a preview, but after the
opening tomorrow I'm going to turn in the
worst review anybody has ever read. And I'm
going to close your play. Would you like to
know why? Because I hate you. And everyone
you represent. Entitled. Spoiled. Selfish.
Children. Blissfully untrained, unversed
and unprepared to even attempt real art.
Handing each other awards for cartoons and
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 92.
TABITHA (CONT'D)
pornography. Measuring your worth in
weekends. Well, this is the theater, and
you don't get to come in here and pretend
you can write, direct and act in your own
propaganda piece without going through me
first. So, break a leg.

Tabitha goes back to her writing. Riggan sits for a moment.

RIGGAN
What has to happen in someone's life,
for them to end up becoming a critic?

She looks up at him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Whatcha writin’? You reviewin’ a play? Was
it good? Bad? Did you even see it? Lemme
read.

He snatches the notebook from her.
TABITHA
I will call the police.

RIGGAN
No you won’t. Let’s read your review!
(He scans the notebook.)
“Callow”. A label. “Lackluster”. Label.
“Marginalia”. Sounds like you need
penicillin to clear that up. None the
less... label.
(Looks to Tabitha.)
All labels. You’re a lazy fucker
aren’t you?
(Looks one last time at
the notebook.)
Epistemological vertigo?

Tabitha wants to reach for the notebook, but her pride won’t
let her. Riggan takes a flower from a vase at the center of the
table.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
You know what this is? You don’t, do
you? You can’t even see it if you don’t
label it. You mistake those sounds in
your head for true knowledge.

TABITHA
Are you finished?

RIGGAN
(Wrinkling one of the pages.)
Nothin’ about intention, structure,
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 93.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
technique. Just crappy opinions backed
up by crappy comparisons. You’re
incapable of writing more than a couple
of paragraphs, and you risk nothing of
yourself.
(He tears out the page and tosses
the notebook.)
Well, I’m an actor and this play has
cost me everything. So you can take
your cowardly, malicious, shittily
written reviews and shove them up
your... (Showing her the wrinkled
page.) ...wrinkly, tight ass.

Riggan wears a proud smile. And suddenly, Tabitha begins to
smile with him.

TABITHA
You think you’re an actor?
(Calls to the waiter.)
Eddie!
Eddie the waiter approaches the table.

WAITER
Yeah, Mrs. Dickinson?

TABITHA
Give us some Shakespeare.

WAITER
No problem. Got anything in mind?

Tabitha looks over at Riggan picking the perfect verse.

TABITHA
The Scottish Play. Act five...

WAITER
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to
day, To the last syllable of recorded
time; And all our yesterdays have lighted
fools. The way to dusty death...

He is brilliant. The monologue is perfectly played and powerful.
Riggan being mercilessly reminded of his mediocrity... by Eddie
the waiter.

WAITER (CONT'D)
...Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a
walking shadow, a poor player, That
struts and frets his hour upon the
stage, And then is heard no more. It is
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 94.
WAITER (CONT'D)
a tale told by an idiot, full of sound
and fury... Signifying nothing.

A few drunks clap at the beautiful performance. Then, a powerful
silence rings out for a moment, until...

TABITHA
Thank you, Eddie.

WAITER
You got it.
TABITHA
(To Riggan. A derisive laugh.)
You're no actor. You're a celebrity.
Let's be clear on that.

Tabitha rises from her seat and grabs her things.

TABITHA (CONT’D)
I'm going to kill your play.
She walks away. Riggan sits numb. After a moment, he reaches
over and gulps down Tabitha's entire martini, gin pouring out
the sides of his mouth. Unaware, he slams the empty martini
glass on top of the Carver napkin and gets up. We follow him
out onto...
Genres: ["Drama","Satire"]

Summary Riggan visits a bar and sits with critic Tabitha, who threatens to destroy his play. They have a heated conversation about criticism and art, which ends with Tabitha delivering a powerful Shakespearean monologue to discredit Riggan's talent. Riggan is left numb and drinks Tabitha's martini before leaving.
Strengths "Powerful dialogue and monologue, strong character development, tension building"
Weaknesses "Slightly predictable and melodramatic"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Riggan and Tabitha. The dialogue is sharp and biting, revealing the characters’ motivations and agendas. The use of Shakespeare’s monologue adds depth to the scene and highlights the contrast between Riggan’s celebrity persona and Tabitha’s commitment to true art. The scene also effectively uses visual elements, such as Riggan tearing out the notebook page, to enhance the emotional impact.

One potential weakness of the scene, however, is that it relies heavily on dialogue without much visual action to break it up. This could make the scene feel static or talky, especially for a film. Adding more physical action or visual cues to the scene could help to keep the audience engaged and enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue.
Suggestions The dialogue in this scene is strong, but there are a few suggestions to make it flow better:

- Consider breaking up the action descriptions into shorter, more concise sentences. This will help with pacing and readability.
- Clarify the setting a bit more in the beginning. We know it's in the hallway, but where in the theater? This will help with visualizing the scene.
- Show Riggan's reaction when he realizes his video is playing on TV. This is a big moment for him, and it would be beneficial to see his emotions in this moment.
- When Riggan sits down with Tabitha, consider having him make a move to sit across from her instead of just doing it. This will help with blocking and give the actors more to work with.
- Change the dialogue a bit so that Tabitha explicitly mentions Riggan's play earlier on in the conversation. This will help build tension and make it clearer why they are speaking in the first place.
- Cut down on some of the dialogue in the back and forth between Riggan and Tabitha, especially the part where Riggan reads her notebook. It's a bit long and feels like it's dragging on.
- Consider playing up the tension between Riggan and Tabitha more. They seem to have a lot of animosity towards each other, and it would add more weight to the scene if we see that tension more palpably.
- End the scene on a stronger beat. The moment with the Shakespeare monologue is great, but it feels a bit too abrupt as a final moment. Consider having Riggan respond more strongly to what Tabitha says about him being a celebrity, or have a more profound moment of realization after she leaves.



Scene 31 -  Riggan's Delusion
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
49 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 49

...the street, where he walks through the theater district.
Tired. Drunk. Empty. Neon lights all around him. A crazy, old
homeless man passes by in the opposite direction shouting
furiously. Riggan keeps walking until he arrives at a bench,
with a tree behind. Everything is quiet. Riggan sits on the
bench, lost. We begin to tilt up, slowly, toward a tall tree.
We move closer into the branches and the green leaves.
Silence.

A49 A49
Night turns into day. The sounds of the city disappear and
birds begin to sing. The branches now caressed by golden shafts
of morning sun. Finally, we tilt down slowly and find...


50 EXT. STREET - DAY. 50

...Riggan still sleeping on the bench. He looks like a bum. His
raincoat is dirty and wet.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 95.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
God. You look like shit, brother. You
get that mongoloid look when you're hung
over, don't you?

Riggan opens an eye. He scratches his hair.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Let's go. Get up. It's a beautiful day.

Riggan sits up slowly. He is really hung over.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Stand up! Forget about the times. Everyone
else has. So you're not a great actor...
Who cares?!! You're much more than that.
Fuck! You tower over all these theater
douchebags. You're a movie star! A Global
force! Don't you get it?

Riggan stands up and begins to stumble forward. We pan around
to find Birdman (a stronger Riggan wearing a cool Birdman
outfit), following behind him.

BIRDMAN
You spent your whole life building a
reputation and a bank account, and now
they're both blown. So what? Fuck it. We
make a come back. Something huge. Take what
belongs to us. Take back the spotlight.
Magazine covers and billboards. Happy meals
with Birdman dolls. Remember that? That’s
who you are. That’s who we are!

Riggan just marches on. People and cars pass by, but nobody
notices Birdman. Riggan tries to ignore him.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
C'mon, buddy. Tell me we're going back
to the big leagues. Let’s do this.
Shave off that pathetic goatee, and put
the mask back on! Batman my balls.
We’ll start a new franchise. Birdman:
Phoenix Rising. Trust me! A billion
world wide. Swear to God.

A50 A50

Riggan keeps walking. Birdman, insistent, chases, until
suddenly he begins to flutter off the ground.

BIRDMAN
Do you hear me? You can do anything! You’re
an icon!
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 96.

Desperate, Birdman flies a bit higher around him.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
You’re bigger than life. You save people
from their boring, miserable lives...

The camera pans to the street in front of them. People carry
out their everyday routines. There is a deli, a souvenir shop,
a small bank...

BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
...You make them jump, laugh, cry,
shit their pants... All you have to do
is snap your fingers and...

B50 B50
Riggan snaps his fingers, once, twice, and the bank suddenly
explodes. The sound is so loud that it seems to belong to
another movie. The earth shakes. People run. Dust all over.
Fire. An unsteady camera pans back to Birdman.

BIRDMAN
(Excited.)
That's what I'm talking about! That is
cool! Explosive! Big, fast, loud!
(He turns directly to the camera
and talks about the audience.)
Look at them. They love that shit!
They starve for blood and action,
not this artsy-fartsy-philosophical
bullshit!

C50 C50
We hear a loud roar, and the camera pans to discover a huge
alien about to crash a cab against the asphalt. Birdman uses his
powerful blow to send the alien flying away.

BIRDMAN
And when you shout "whooaa!"...
(Riggan shouts "Whooaa!")
...it explodes in the eardrum of
millions. Your power is unlimited.

Riggan slows down his pace, as he starts to listen.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
You glimmered on 3000 screens, over 5
continents, in 47 countries at the
same time. You are ubiquitous. You're
a God! You can do it again. You can
soar above all of them.
10/29/14 / 97.

D50 D50

Riggan suddenly begins to levitate.

BIRDMAN
There you go, you mother fucker! See?
Gravity doesn't even apply to you.

The camera flies up with Riggan as he floats above the street.
There is something magical in his ascension, gently impelled by
the breeze. A beautiful backlight makes his body glow. Birdman
flutters around him.
BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
Listen to me. We gotta go back! We have to
do this. We have to end it on our terms.
With a grand gesture.

A strange light suddenly palpitates in Riggan's eyes. Something
makes sense in what Birdman is telling him.

The camera becomes Riggan's POV. He looks down to see the
people on the street, watching him in awe.
BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
We’ll go back. We’ll show them how much
they're going to miss us. Flames. Icarus.
Sacrifice...

We tilt up again to Riggan's face. He has a plan.

BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Let’s go back one more time and show them
what we’re capable of. You can do it.
You're Birdman. Do you hear me? You're...

A GUY'S VOICE (O.S.)
Birdman!

E50 E50

And as the camera pulls away, we discover Birdman is gone and
Riggan is standing on the ledge of a tall building. The camera
tilts down and we see that more people have gathered around,
and more cars has stopped, and they all point at Riggan,
worried about the situation.

A guy wearing shorts, a Bob Marley t-shirt and a robe opens his
window, one floor below Riggan, and looks up at him.

GUY
Dude, what are you doing?

Riggan looks down at the people on the street far below.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 98.

GUY (CONT'D)
You okay, buddy? Do you want me to
call someone?

We pan to a lady on her balcony filming Riggan with her phone.

LADY
Is this for real, or you're shooting a
film?

RIGGAN
A film.

The lady looks around but sees nothing.

LADY
Oh, you people are full of shit.

She goes into her apartment.

GUY
I’m calling 911.

The guy goes inside his apartment.

RIGGAN
One more time...

Now, from the door of the rooftop, a good neighbor calmly
approaches Riggan.

GOOD NEIGHBOR
Hi, sir. Can I help you? You should be
careful.

RIGGAN
Sorry. Can’t talk. I'm late.
(Murmuring.)
Music.

Some underscoring music begins to sound. The neighbor is now
close to him and helps Riggan step down from the edge on to the
floor of the rooftop.

GOOD NEIGHBOR
Are you alright? Do you want me to
call someone? Do you know where to go?

Riggan closes his eyes for a moment as the camera moves slowly
toward him. He opens his eyes. The music begins to swell. Riggan
stands up straight and proud, and in a voice that sounds like
Birdman...

RIGGAN
Yes. I know where to go.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 99.

He turns and begins to run on the rooftop. The music is rousing.
As he runs, he holds out his arms, spreading them wide. The
camera runs behind him, until suddenly...


F50 F50
Riggan jumps, and the camera jumps after him. He rapidly
falls toward the street, toward the asphalt. But in his face
there is no fear. No. He spreads his arms again and...


G50 G50

He takes flight, soaring high over Manhattan. The music becomes
epic. There is something beautiful about this broken man flying
like a superhero. We fly next to him, and we can see below the
spectacular sight that is Manhattan, until...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan hallucinates a conversation with his superhero alter ego, Birdman, and gains confidence to take control of his life.
Strengths "The surreal and magical realism elements make this scene both unique and memorable. The use of music and visual effects add to the overall experience, and the scene shows a side of Riggan's personality that we haven't seen before."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel disconnected from the overall storyline and might leave viewers confused as to what it all means."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can provide feedback on the structure of the scene and the pacing of the action. I would say that the scene has a clear arc, starting with Riggan's low point and ending with his uplifting flight over Manhattan. The use of the Voice-Over of Birdman works well to give a sense of Riggan's internal conflict and build towards his transformation. The use of the natural elements of light (from night to day) and sound (from silence to birdsong) adds to the mood and atmosphere of the scene.

One criticism could be that while the scene is visually striking, it may be difficult for the audience to connect with Riggan's sudden transformation and flight as it is not grounded in a clear context or motivation. Additionally, the use of a superhero-type character (Birdman) may feel out of place in a film that is otherwise grounded in reality. However, these criticisms may be more a matter of personal taste and the overall style of the film.
Suggestions The scene is vivid and imaginative, but it could benefit from more focus. The transitions between the different settings and situations are abrupt and disorienting. To improve the scene, the writer could clarify the logic and motivation behind Riggan's actions and thoughts.

For example, in the beginning, Riggan is tired and empty, but it's not clear why he's wandering the theater district or what he's searching for. Is he looking for inspiration? Escaping his problems? The scene could benefit from a clear motivation and objective.

Additionally, the conversation between Riggan and Birdman could use more structure and development. Rather than jumping from idea to idea, the dialogue could be more focused on Riggan's internal conflict and how he comes to terms with his past and future.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more visual and emotional coherence. Although the imagery is powerful, some of the visuals, such as the sudden explosion of the bank or the appearance of the huge alien, feel disconnected from the rest of the scene. By streamlining the imagery and focusing on Riggan's emotional journey, the scene could have a greater impact on the audience.



Scene 32 -  Opening Night Chaos
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
51 EXT. THEATER - CONTINUOUS 51
...he finally lands on 45th street and calmly approaches the
theater. An Usher acknowledges him with a look of surprise.

USHER
Mr. Thomson. I think you forgot to--

RIGGAN
Stop the music.

The music stops.
USHER
I beg your pardon?

Riggan enters the theater.

The confused Usher watches him go by, as he points to the
street. We pan to see a taxi driver coming out of his car,
running like a mad man toward us.

We stay with the Usher and the taxi driver as they argue. They
take it inside the lobby, but we remain out front.

A51 A51

Day turns to night, igniting the lights of the marquee, which
reflect off of the lobby doors. We hear wild applause coming
from inside the theater. Seconds later, the doors of the
theater open and the audience files out for intermission.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 100.

MAN
(Tweeting on his phone.)
It's really good.

WOMAN
I know. I can’t believe it...

We begin to move up, outside the theater. We see the marquee of
the play that reads, "What We Talk When We Talk About Love".
Above the title, in smaller print, "Riggan Thomson and Mike
Shiner". Below on a banner, "Opening Night".
We keep climbing until we arrive at Riggan's dressing room
window. We push in to find...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan enters the theater after a mental breakdown, causing confusion among the staff. As the audience files out for intermission, they praise the play. We see the marquee and Riggan's dressing room.
Strengths "The tension and confusion among the staff is well established. The praise from the audience raises the stakes for Riggan's play. The climb up to the marquee and Riggan's dressing room creates a sense of anticipation."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not as strong in this scene compared to others. There is also not a lot of conflict or emotional impact present in the scene."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the chaos and excitement of opening night. The use of sound and visuals helps build tension and set the tone. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue between Riggan and the Usher could be clearer. It's not immediately apparent what the Usher is referring to when he says "I think you forgot to--" and Riggan's response to stop the music seems a bit abrupt and out of context.

Secondly, it might be helpful to have a clearer sense of the location and layout of the theater. It's not immediately apparent where the Usher and taxi driver are standing in relation to the entrance, or how Riggan is able to enter the theater without being stopped by anyone else.

Finally, while the scene effectively sets up the tension and excitement surrounding opening night, it doesn't do much to reveal character or advance the plot. It might be helpful to have some additional dialogue or actions that reveal more about Riggan's state of mind or his relationship with the Usher.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene could be:

1. Add more character development: While the scene does advance the plot, it doesn't do much to develop the characters. Consider adding a moment of introspection or some dialogue that reveals more about Riggan's motivations or emotions.

2. Use camera angles to enhance tension: When the taxi driver is running toward the theater, the scene could benefit from some creative camera angles to build tension. For example, using a low-angle shot looking up at the taxi driver as he runs could create a sense of urgency.

3. Show, don't tell: Instead of having the Twitter users explicitly say that the play is "really good," show their reactions through their body language or facial expressions. This allows the audience to draw their own conclusions about the play's success.

4. Consider adding a visual motif: As the scene progresses from day to night, consider using a visual motif that ties in with the theme of the play. For example, if the play is about love, you could show the colors of the sky changing as the sun sets, highlighting the beauty and transience of love.

5. Use sound to create atmosphere: Instead of relying solely on the dialogue, consider using sound effects or music to create a sense of atmosphere. For example, as the theater doors open, you could layer in some ambient noise such as the sound of the crowd murmuring or the rustling of clothing to create a more immersive experience.



Scene 33 -  Revisiting the past
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
52 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - EVENING 52
... that the room is full of roses and cards. Riggan lies on
the sofa, hugging a cushion. He is wearing the long wig and
mustache for the motel scene.

Sylvia appears in the doorway.

SYLVIA
Wow, that is just NASCAR hot.

He smiles at her.
SYLVIA (CONT'D)
I just wanted to come say hello. It's going
great out there. You're so good. I mean it.
You’re-- I really mean it.

RIGGAN
Come here. Sit next to me.

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
This is your five minutes.
SYLVIA
Do you need to--?

RIGGAN
I'm fine. Sit.

She does.

SYLVIA
Look at all these roses.

SYLVIA (CONT’D) RIGGAN
You hate roses... I hate roses...

She laughs. He watches her, something odd in his expression.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 101.

SYLVIA (CONT’D)
Are you okay? You seem-- I don’t know, you
seem abnormally calm.

RIGGAN
I am calm. I’m great. I spent most of
the day observing how beautifully this
pile of dirty clothes was lit by the
warm afternoon sun. (A tiny smile.) So
beautiful.
Sylvia, teasing him, closes her eyes and imitates Riggan's
meditation posture.

SYLVIA
(Mocking him.)
Oh yes. God is those purplish light
dots I see between my eyes and my
eyelids.

RIGGAN
You know? I have this voice that talks to
me and tells me the truth. It’s comforting,
and scary.

A beat.

SYLVIA
I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say
that.

RIGGAN
Okay.

SYLVIA
(Changing the subject.)
You wouldn't believe the crowd outside.
They said, some people paid up to 500
dollars a ticket.

He sits down.
RIGGAN
You wanna hear something funny?

SYLVIA
Sure.

RIGGAN
Do you remember our last anniversary party?

SYLVIA
Seriously? You're going to ruin a nice
moment with that?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 102.

RIGGAN
Do you remember the party?

SYLVIA
The party where you fucked Janet Rossbach
in our bed? Yeah, it rings a bell.

RIGGAN
Yeah, well. Let's skip over that part
for a minute.
SYLVIA
Gladly.

RIGGAN
After you threw the guests out of the
house, and the furniture out of the
window. You locked yourself in the
bathroom.

SYLVIA
I remember. Why are we--

RIGGAN
I drove down to Malibu. I sat on the beach
for a while. Just... staring out at the
ocean.

SYLVIA
Riggan...

RIGGAN
Until I walked straight into the water
and tried to drown myself.

Silence. Sylvia stares at Riggan, surprised.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
I was in up to my chest when I felt the
first one. On my back, like somebody was
holding a frying pan against me. And then
my chest, and my legs. The water was full
of jellyfish. I fought my way out of the
water, and I started rolling around the
sand like a maniac... crying.

Sylvia doesn't know how to react.

SYLVIA
You said it was a sunburn.

RIGGAN
(Smiling.)
And you believed me.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 103.

SYLVIA
To be honest, I didn't give a shit.

RIGGAN
I love you. And I love Sam.

SYLVIA
I know.

Silence. They stare at each other.
RIGGAN
I never should have video taped Sam's
birth. First of all because you and Sam
both look like shit in that video. But
mostly because I missed the moment. I
should have just been there with the two
of you. Present in my own life. So I’d
have it. But, I don’t. I don’t have any of
it.
SYLVIA
You have Sam.

RIGGAN
No, I don't.

SYLVIA
Listen, she's just--

RIGGAN
No, I understand. She needed a father
and she got one shamefully successful
youtube video. Pretty pathetic.

SYLVIA
(Putting a finger on
Riggan’s lips.)
Shhh... There are more pathetic things
than that. That mustache, for example.
She kisses him.

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
Places for act two. Places.

SYLVIA
Riggan...

RIGGAN
You should get back to your seat. You
don't want to miss what's next.

Sylvia lingers for a moment, and not knowing what to say, she
exits. Riggan opens a drawer and takes out a black case. He
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 104.

gently opens the lid. Inside a revolver. He takes some bullets
out of a box and one by one loads them into the chamber as he
does his vocal exercises into the mirror.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Twenty little leopards laughed at two
lofty lions. Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions. Twenty
little leopards... laughed.

He stares at the dressing room door, and with his telekinetic
powers he opens it. He snaps the cylinder into the gun and
exits out into...
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Riggan talks to his ex-wife Sylvia, opens up about his regrets as a father, and reveals his dark past to her
Strengths "Strong emotional impact and character development"
Weaknesses "Lack of plot progression"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, with strong character development and tension-building. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, there is some confusion around the transition from Riggan's meditation to his comment about the voice that talks to him. It's not clear why he suddenly brings this up, and it feels somewhat out of place. Additionally, there could be more exploration of this idea - it's intriguing, but is not fully developed.

Secondly, the transition from Riggan's revelation about trying to drown himself to his statement that he loves Sylvia and Sam could be smoother. It feels a bit jarring to go from such a dark moment to a sudden declaration of love - there could be some more reflection or processing in between these two beats.

Finally, the ending of the scene - where Riggan loads the revolver - is powerful, but could benefit from some more foreshadowing earlier in the scene. The moment feels somewhat abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the conversation.

Overall, though, this is a well-crafted scene with strong emotional stakes and engaging dialogue.
Suggestions Overall, this is a well-written scene with great dialogue and character development. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Add more visual description: Besides Riggan lying on the sofa and Sylvia appearing in the doorway, there is not much visual description of the setting and characters. Adding more descriptive details would help create a clearer picture in the reader's mind and make the scene more engaging.

2. Heighten the tension: The scene feels a bit flat in terms of tension and conflict. Consider adding more subtext to Riggan's dialogue to create a sense of unease or foreshadowing. Perhaps Sylvia could pick up on his odd behavior and try to pry more information out of him, creating a sense of tension between the two characters.

3. Make the transition to the final scene smoother: The transition from Riggan loading the gun to the next scene could be smoother. Consider adding a description of him exiting the dressing room or a visual cue that connects the two scenes together.

Overall, this is a great scene with strong character development and dialogue. With some minor tweaks to the visual description and tension, it could become an even more compelling aspect of the overall story.



Scene 34 -  Final Performance and Suicide
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
53 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 53

...the hallway. He paces deliberately, gun in hand.

A technician goes by in the opposite direction.

TECHNICIAN
Break a leg, Mr. Thomson.

Riggan ignores him and continues through to the...

54 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 54

...backstage area. Annie immediately hustles over to him holding
up the brain mechanism. He walks right by her.

RIGGAN
(Brushing her off.)
I don't need it.

Annie doesn't seem to understand. She stays there, holding the
device. Riggan takes his place outside the motel door. We pan
toward the audience. The auditorium is full. The audience in
complete silence.


Riggan knocks firmly on the door. Silence again. Then...

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Terri! Terri!
(Beat.)
I know you're in there!
He barges through the door and onto...
10/29/14 / 105.

55 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 55

...the stage. The motel room as we saw it before. Mike and
Lesley jump out of the bed.

LESLEY
Ed! What are you doing here?

RIGGAN
(Almost whispering.)
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you-- I worshipped you...
MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--

Riggan raises one hand to silence Mike. Mike looks at him,
confused. His eyes narrow on the gun. There is no red plug.

Dead silence. An eerie electricity in the theater.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end
up having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.

She begins to cry.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Just look at me. I was drowning. I
was not capable of-- You deserve to
be loved. You do.

RIGGAN
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
(Beat.)
Now I spend every fucking minute
praying to be someone else. Someone
I'm not. Anyone...

MIKE
Put down the gun, Ed. She just doesn't love
you anymore.

RIGGAN
(To Lesley.)
You don't, do you?

LESLEY
(With sympathy.)
No...


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 106.

RIGGAN
And you never will...

LESLEY
I'm sorry.

For the first time, Riggan turns to face the audience. He
smiles the most beautiful insane smile.

RIGGAN
I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't
exist. None of this matters.

Then he raises a trembling arm, and with his eyes full of
tears, he aims the gun at Mike.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Pum.

But he doesn’t shoot. Then he turns and aims at Tabitha
Dickinson who is sitting on the second row.
RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Pum.

Again, no shot. Slowly, Riggan raises the gun toward his own
head, suddenly a frightening explosion. Blood sprays. Riggan
falls. We stay with the shell-shocked audience. A moment of
tension, of uncertainty, until...

MAN
Bravo!

The audience, one by one, jump to their feet, applauding
wildly. The sole exception is Tabitha, who remains seated, a
dazed expression on her face. We stay with the audience a few
seconds longer.

FADE TO BLACK.

The sounds slowly vanish. After a moment of silence...
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You won't be hearing from him
anymore.

MAN (V.O.)
Is he...?

BIRDMAN (V.O)
He's gone.
10/29/14 / 107.

INT. WAITING ROOM - HOSPITAL - DAWN

One of the old Birdman films is playing on a small television
screen that hangs on a corner. The scene ends and a Morning
Show host appears. Behind him a picture of Riggan and a
caption that reads: “Nation in shock.” A shot of a candle
vigil in Central park.

HOST
What do we talk about when we talk
about Riggan Thomson? When we come
back, more on the actor who two
nights ago shot himself during the
opening performance of his new
Broadway play...

We pan away from the TV to see that the waiting room is
filled with newsmen waiting for something to happen. There is
almost no room to breath.

We pan to see Jake emerging from an elevator, carrying a
newspaper under his arm. He walks through the dense mass of
newsmen with a serious expression on his face. We follow him
into...
Genres: ["Drama","Tragedy"]

Summary Riggan confronts his inner demons and fails to find absolute acceptance that he craves all his life. He stages a dramatic performance on stage and commits suicide on live television.
Strengths "Intense dialogue and action, strong character development, and a dramatic and unforgettable end"
Weaknesses "The scene's violence, while a crucial moment in the story, may be distressing for some viewers."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene is well-written and effectively builds tension and emotion. The dialogue feels natural and authentic, and we can feel the desperation and turmoil of Riggan as he confronts the people he loves and struggles with his own identity. The use of silence and pauses also adds to the tension and makes the audience feel the weight of the moment. The ending, with the shocking and violent climax, is an effective way to end the scene and leave the audience with a lasting impression. Overall, a well-crafted and impactful scene.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, my first suggestion would be to add more detail and description to the scene. Right now, it feels very basic and lacks visual interest.

There are also a few places where the dialogue feels forced or unnatural. For example, in line 8, the technician wishes Riggan luck, but Riggan ignores him. While this does add to his character, it also seems a bit rude and unrealistic. Perhaps a more subtle reaction would work better here.

Another suggestion would be to build more tension and suspense leading up to the final moment. Right now, it feels a bit too abrupt and sudden. Maybe add more movement or action on Riggan's part to keep the audience on edge.

Lastly, I would recommend exploring the characters' motivations and emotions more deeply. What drives Riggan to this point? Why does Lesley feel sympathy for him? The more we understand their inner turmoil, the more impactful the scene will be.



Scene 35 -  Aftermath and Acceptance
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...a room. Jake peers in. Riggan lies on a bed, the bandages
on his nose cover most of his face. Sylvia is looking out the
window.

JAKE
Is he...?

SYLVIA
He’s awake.

Jake enters the room.

JAKE
(Serious.)
I thought I lost you, buddy. Thank
god you’re a horrible shot! What
the hell happened? I was watching
you up on that stage, and all of a
sudden you get that goofy look in
your eye, and you were just like--

He starts to laugh.

SYLVIA
What the hell are you laughing
about? He tried to-- What is wrong
with you?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 108.

JAKE
I’m happy, okay? He’s alive. My
best friend is alive. And he is the
man of the hour!

Jake holds the New York Times up in the air.

RIGGAN
What is that?

JAKE
You did it.

SYLVIA
(Coming to them.)
You have to be shitting me... She
wrote a review?

Jake unfolds the newspaper and we see the headline of the
review: “The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance”.
JAKE
(To Sylvia.)
Read it.

He hands her the newspaper. She begins to read to herself.

SYLVIA
I don’t believe this...

JAKE
Read it out loud!

SAM
"Thompson has unwittingly given
birth to a new form that can only
be described as supra-realism.
Blood was spilled both literally
and metaphorically by artist and
audience alike. Red blood. The
blood that has been sorely missing
from the veins of the American
theatre..."
(Beat. To a smiling Jake.)
You’re happy about this?

She hands it to Riggan.

JAKE
Happy? I’m fucking euphoric. This
is the-- This is the kind of review
that turns someone into a living
legend.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 109.

SYLVIA
He tried to-- He shot the nose off
his face!

JAKE
He’s got a new nose! And if he
doesn’t like that one, we’ll get
him another one. We can use Meg
Ryan’s guy. Who gives a shit? Turn
on the tv. There are people praying
for him all over the country.
They’re lighting candles in Central
Park. He did it. (To Riggan) You
did it! The play’s gonna run
forever. It’s gonna open in London,
in Paris... The studios will call
us again. We’ll get book offers.

SYLVIA
How do you know all that? You can
see the future?
JAKE
(Euphoric.)
Yes.

She slaps him in the face.

SYLVIA
Did you see that coming? You’re so
full of shit, Jake.

Jake needs a few seconds to recover. Then he looks at Riggan
who just sits there, in silence.

JAKE
Why aren’t you saying anything?
This is what you wanted wasn’t it?
(Riggan gazes at the
review.)
Riggan, this is what you wanted.
RIGGAN
It’s what I wanted.

JAKE
Okay, listen. You’re gonna get hit
with a “brandishing a weapon”
charge. If anybody talks to you, it
was an accident and we’re doing an
internal invest--

A newsman comes into the room and takes a quick picture.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 110.

JAKE (CONT’D)
(Chasing him out.)
This is a hospital you motherfucker!

Jake rushes to the door, shoving the newsman and a few other
paparazzi out the door. Security guards. Chaos. Finally
silence. Sylvia steps up and looks Riggan in the eye.

SYLVIA
Is that what it was? An accident?
Riggan just stares at her. His calm, sad eyes peeking through
the bandages. After a moment his gaze moves over her
shoulder. Sylvia turns and we discover Sam standing in the
doorway holding a bouquet of flowers. A bit of awkward
silence, and Sylvia decides to leave them alone.

She kisses Sam on the head and exits. Sam walks the flowers
to Riggan at the bed. She lays them on his chest.

SAM
Alchemillas.

The hint of a smile on Riggan’s face.

SAM (CONT’D)
Are you actually smiling?
(She smiles.)
What’s so funny?

RIGGAN
I can’t smell them.

A moment until the smiles turn to gentle laughter. She takes
out her cell phone and snaps a picture of him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
What are you doing?

SAM
I’m posting this picture on your
Twitter page.

RIGGAN
Very funny...

SAM
Set it up today.

RIGGAN
You’re joking.

SAM
I’m not.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 111.

RIGGAN
Let me see the picture.

SAM
Absolutely not. You look hideous.

RIGGAN
Thanks a lot.

SAM
I’m just kidding. No, I’m not. You
look hideous.
(Working on phone.)
You already have 80 thousand
followers. In less than a day. And
I’m about to scare the shit out of
them.

RIGGAN
Let me see.
SAM
No. Done.

A moment between them. Sam picks up the flowers and kisses
him tenderly on the head. Riggan is pleasantly surprised by
that kiss.

SAM (CONT’D)
Now, I’m going to find something to
put these flowers in.

She heads out of the room. Riggan lies there for a moment,
tranquil. After a moment he reaches up and touches his
bandages. Finally, he climbs out of the bed. We follow him
into...
Genres: ["drama","tragedy"]

Summary Riggan wakes up in the hospital, learns of the success of his play, and reconciles with his daughter. However, he still feels unfulfilled and ultimately chooses to end his life.
Strengths "Effective characterization and emotional depth"
Weaknesses "Dragged out dialogue and pacing in some parts"
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can give you a general critique of the scene.

The scene is well-written and uses dialogue effectively to convey the emotions and thoughts of the characters. The pacing is good, keeping the scene moving forward with action and new information.

However, there could be more description and action to help visualize the scene. The stage directions are minimal, with little detail about the setting, character movements, or interactions. This lack of visual detail could limit the effectiveness of the scene in a visual medium like film.

Additionally, some of the dialogue feels a bit on the nose and could be more nuanced. For example, Jake's exclamation of "What the hell happened?" feels somewhat cliché and could be rewritten to feel more organic to the character.

Overall, the scene is strong in terms of character development and story progression but could benefit from more visual description and nuanced dialogue.
Suggestions As an AI language model, I may not have the same level of experience as an expert screenwriter in analyzing a script and making suggestions. However, here are some general suggestions that can improve this scene:

- Add more physical action to the scene to increase tension and conflict. For example, instead of just staring at each other, Sylvia and Riggan could have a physical exchange, maybe Sylvia grabbing Riggan's arm, or Riggan flinching when Sylvia asks about the accident.

- Create more nuanced dialogue for the characters. The conversation between Jake, Sylvia, and Riggan could benefit from more depth and complexity, particularly in how they express their emotions. For example, instead of just saying he's euphoric, Jake could reveal a deeper sense of relief and gratitude that his friend is alive.

- Consider adding some visual elements to convey the mood and theme of the film. For example, shots of the hospital room and the bandaged face of Riggan could communicate the cost of his success, and the toll it has taken on his body and mind.

- Make sure each character has their own voice, motivations, and conflicts. For example, Sam's presence in the scene could be utilized more effectively to bring out Riggan's vulnerability and human side, rather than just as a plot device to set up a joke about Twitter.

Overall, this scene could benefit from more emotional depth, visual storytelling, and character development.



Scene 36 -  Riggan's Final Choice
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. BATHROOM - ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...the bathroom. He stands before the mirror. He stares at
his reflection for a few seconds, and slowly begins to remove
the bandages. We can see that Riggan’s nose has been
reconstructed. It is a crooked, incomplete nose, like the one
Javier Bardem has.

RIGGAN
I do look hideous.

In the reflection, Riggan sees Birdman sitting on the toilet.
They look at each other, but say nothing. Riggan puts the
bandages back on and we follow him out to...
10/29/14 / 112.

INT. ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...the room. He looks around, but Sam is gone. He ambles over
to the window, his ass hanging out of the back of his
hospital robe. He opens the window and feels the sun and the
breeze on his swollen face. We just hear the sounds of the
people standing down in the parking lot. Media trucks. Fans.
We stay with Riggan, who seems to be thinking about
something. He sees a flock of birds dancing in the sky. Then
he grabs the side of the window with one hand and begins to
step up onto the sill.
The camera pans away from him to a table that has some photos
propped on it: One of he and Sam when she was a child. One
with Sylvia and Sam. A copy of Carver’s “What we talk About
When We Talk About Love” laying on the surface.

The camera continues to pan until it comes to the door. Sam
enters with a small vase. She looks around...

SAM
Dad?

She goes to the bathroom and peers in... nothing.

SAM (CONT’D)
Dad...?

She spots the opened window and registers the sounds from
outside. Tentatively she walks toward the window. She gets
there, summons her courage and looks down. Nothing. Slowly,
confused, she tilts her head up and looks up into the sky. A
smile, filled with pride, begin to wash over her face.

SMASH TO BLACK *
FOXSEARCHLIGHT.COM/AWARDS
Released by Twentieth Century Fox © 2014 Twentieth Century Fox
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan, with a reconstructed nose and a sense of unfulfillment, contemplates ending his life in the hospital. Sam enters and saves him from it, bringing the hope of reconciliation.
Strengths "The scene makes the audience empathize with Riggan's feelings of unfulfillment and shows the inner journey of his character. The setting and props, such as the book and family pictures, add depth to his character arc."
Weaknesses "There is no dialogue, and the scene relies heavily on visuals to convey emotions."
Critique This scene is well written in terms of conveying the emotional state of the main character Riggan. The visual descriptions are crisp and vivid, helping the reader to imagine the setting and actions unfolding on screen. However, the dialogue seems a bit on-the-nose and could potentially be more nuanced. For example, the line "I do look hideous" could be rephrased to sound more natural and in line with Riggan's character and personality. Additionally, the sudden cut to black at the end could feel abrupt and unsatisfying, leaving the viewer wanting more closure or resolution. Overall, this scene would benefit from a bit more subtlety in the dialogue and more thought put into the pacing and structure of the scene.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Give more context to Riggan's actions. Why is he removing the bandages and what is he feeling as he does so? Does he hesitate or is he determined? Is there any pain or discomfort? Adding more detail will help the audience connect with the character and understand his motivations.

2. Explore the relationship between Riggan and Birdman. What does it mean that they see each other but say nothing? Is Birdman a figment of Riggan's imagination or a symbol of something else? Adding some depth to this interaction will make it more impactful.

3. Clarify what Riggan is thinking about as he looks out the window. Is he reflecting on his recent experiences, contemplating his future, or simply enjoying the moment? Adding some internal dialogue or a voiceover could help convey his thoughts and emotions.

4. Build more tension as Riggan steps onto the windowsill. Is he considering suicide or is he just taking a reckless risk? Adding some close-ups and intense music could heighten the stakes and make the audience more invested in what happens next.

5. Give Sam more agency in the scene. As it stands, she simply enters the room and discovers Riggan's absence. Adding some dialogue or action that shows her actively searching for him could make her character more dynamic and give the scene more momentum.