Read Back to the future with its analysis

See Full Analysis here

Scene 1 -  Detention
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

Written by

Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale

Revised 10-12-84
with pink revisions
of 10-21-84

(Obviously, the tipped-in pink sheets that are a typical indication of revised pages
or pages containing revisions within a script are not here. Lines and scenes
containing the revisions of 10-21-84 are marked at the end of the line by an
asterisk, as is also shown in the script itself.)

A WEIRD FLICKERING WHITE LIGHT strobes the screen, accompanied by


The light becomes brighter as we pan over to

MARTY MCFLY, 17, a good looking kid wearing Porsche mirrored sunglasses. The
mirrored lenses reflect the MUSHROOM CLOUD of an ATOMIC EXPLOSION.


Marty starts bopping along to the rock and roll: he*s plugged into a WALKMAN STEREO.

2 We are in a contemporary HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM where 30-odd STUDENTS are 2
watching a 16mm documentary about nuclear tests of the 1950*s.


BORED STUDENTS watch the black and white movie. Only MARTY is enjoying himself as
he listens to his stereo. MARTY*S FOOT taps in time to the music.

The teacher, MRS. WOODS, 45, looks around the classroom, making sure the students
are paying attention. She has her “Classroom Planner” in hand.

The DOCUMENTARY depicts preparations for another atomic test, noting that as many as
20 were done per year in the 1950*s. Footage shows how tract houses were constructed
and peopled with mannequins to measure the effects of radiation.

MARTY continues bopping along.

MRS. WOODS notices the one head in the classroom bobbing. MARTY*S FOOT continues
tapping in time. Now a PAIR OF WOMAN *S SHOES step into FRAME.

MRS. WOODS is standing next to Marty, arms crossed, staring at him. But Marty is
oblivious to her.

SUZY PARKER, 17, an attractive girl, looks over at the situation in horror.

Mrs. Woods waves her hand in front of Marty*s sunglasses. No reaction.

Suzy turns her head — she can*t bear to watch.

Mrs. Woods gently removes Marty*s sunglasses. His eyes are closed.

Now Marty opens his eyes. He looks up at Mrs. W oods and smiles weakly.

Mrs. Woods does not smile back. She rips the headphones off — the MUSIC abruptly

Mr. McFly: detention!


CLOSE ON MARTY*S WALKMAN in a pair of ELDERLY MALE HANDS being placed in a
WOODWORKING VISE mounted on the corner of a desk.


Marty fidgets uneasily in an uncomfortable wooden chair in the sparse office as MR.
STRICKLAND, a humorless disciplinarian, tightens the vise. Strickland looks 60, but he
could be 160 — he was born old and stayed that way, and has been at this school forever.

Strickland gazes at Marty, then gives the vise a hard, mean wrench. The Walkman
CRUNCHES... it sounds like bones breaking.

Marty cringes.

Strickland smiles sadistically and hands it back to him.

That*s number three, isn*t it, McFly?


You don*t like school, do you, McFly?

Marty rolls his eyes. Is this question for real?

Oh, no. sir. I LOVE school.

(snaps at him)
You*ve got a real attitude problem, you know that?
(opens a file on his desk)
You*re a slacker, McFly. You*ve got aptitude, but you don*t apply yourself.
You remind me of your father: He was a slacker, too.

Marty just sits there, bored.

Now, for slacking off in class and for having a serious attitude problem, your
punishment is two weeks in detention, with me, starting this afternoon.

This afternoon? But I can*t! Me and my band have an audition at 3:45 for
the YMCA dance. It*s really important that I be there — they*re counting on
me. I gotta be there at 3:45.

Too bad, McFly. I guess this isn*t your day.
Marty is sick.

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Marty gets detention after being caught listening to music in class. He tries to explain that he has an important audition with his band, but Mr. Strickland doesn't care.
Strengths "The scene effectively introduces the main character and establishes his conflict with authority. The dialogue and characterization of Mr. Strickland adds humor to the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more visual storytelling and a stronger sense of stakes."
Critique Overall, the scene sets up the character of Marty McFly as a rebellious and carefree teenager. The use of the opening atomic explosion and rock and roll music helps establish the time period and Marty's interests. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

1. The opening line of the control voice, "5...4...3...2...1...detonate!" feels a bit cliché and could be more creative.

2. The description of Marty's appearance and his mirrored sunglasses could be more succinct. Instead of "a good-looking kid wearing Porsche mirrored sunglasses," it could simply be "Marty McFly, 17, wearing mirrored sunglasses."

3. The main title sequence is described as "bored students watch the black and white movie," but there is no indication of their reactions or emotions. Adding some description of the students' reactions will help add depth to the scene.

4. The dialogue between Mrs. Woods and Marty feels a bit on the nose and could benefit from more subtlety. Their exchange could be more nuanced and less direct.

5. The introduction of Suzy Parker and her reaction to Mrs. Woods could be expanded upon. It's unclear why she reacts in horror and what her relationship is to Marty or Mrs. Woods.

6. The confrontation between Marty and Mr. Strickland feels a bit one-dimensional. Mr. Strickland's lines about Marty being a slacker and having an attitude problem are quite blunt and could be delivered in a more nuanced way.

7. Marty's explanation for why he can't attend detention is rushed and doesn't feel fully convincing. It would be helpful to provide more context or explanation for why the YMCA dance audition is so important to him.

8. The scene could benefit from more visual cues and actions to enhance the visual storytelling. Including actions or reactions from the characters will help bring the scene to life on the screen.

Overall, the scene has potential but could use some refinement in terms of dialogue and character development.
Suggestions Overall, this scene sets up the character of Marty and his relationship with authority figures, such as Mrs. Woods and Mr. Strickland. However, there are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Setting description: Add some description of the classroom to establish the atmosphere and surroundings. This can help transport the reader into the scene.

2. Character introductions: Provide a brief description of Mrs. Woods and Suzy Parker when they are first mentioned. This helps the reader visualize the characters.

3. Action description: Instead of telling the reader that Marty is oblivious to Mrs. Woods, show his obliviousness through his actions or expressions. This can make the scene more dynamic.

4. Dialogue: Make Marty's dialogue more assertive when he defends himself against Mr. Strickland's accusations. This can show his determination and resilience.

5. Visual cues: Add visual cues for Marty's reaction when Mr. Strickland breaks his Walkman. This can enhance the emotional impact of the scene.

6. Emotional stakes: Highlight the importance of the audition for Marty and his band. This can add tension and give more context to Marty's distress over being in detention.

By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance the clarity, emotion, and visual impact of the scene.

Scene 2 -  Marty's Detention and Audition
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 7
It*s 3:28.

A regular math classroom used as detention after hours. Again, we see signs of an old *
school dressed to be more modern: green chalkboards, repainted walls, new desks, and a
sprinkler system.

8 or 10 STUDENTS are seated far apart from each other throughout the room. All are
supposedly studying. One of them has a SKATEBOARD along with his books.

MARTY is at the pencil sharpener in the back, sharpening a pencil...but the look on his
face indicates he*s up to something. He looks at the clock, looks up at the SPRINKLER
PIPE, then glances toward the front of the room.

MR. STRICKLAND sits at the teacher*s desk, grading a LARGE STACK OF PAPERS.

Marty finishes at the sharpener. He sticks a PIECE OF GUM in his mouth and starts
chewing like mad. Then he steps alongside the CAROUSEL SLIDE PROJECTOR and
surreptitiously sneaks the lens into his jacket pocket. He quickly returns to his seat.

Now, Strickland stands up and starts toward Marty! Did he see Marty swipe the lens? No,
he*s merely “patrolling” the room.

When Strickland isn*t looking, Marty produces a matchbook and a rubber band from the
pencil pouch of his loose leaf binder. He opens the matchbook cover and sticks his gum to
the backside.

He waits for Strickland to walk past him, then quickly, Marty stands and, using the rubber
band, fires the matchbook at the ceiling.

Strickland whirls around upon hearing the snap, but Marty is already seated, “studying.”
Strickland looks around suspiciously, but sees nothing. He continues along.

Marty glances up: The gum is holding the matchbook on the ceiling, right near the sprinkler
valve. He smiles.

Now Marty sets his mirrored sunglasses on his leg positioning them to reflect the rays of
the sun up at the matchbook.

That done, he pulls the lens out of his pocket and focuses the beam onto the matchbook.
He adjusts the lens ever so slightly... there! Perfect! A hot white pinpoint of light is focused
on the matchbook.

MR. STRICKLAND returns to his paper grading. He marks an entire set of answers wrong
and puts “F” at the top of a paper. The next paper has two right. Strickland gives it an “F+.”

MARTY continues holding the lens as steady as he can, watching anxiously for results.

ABOVE there is a faint trace of SMOKE on the matchbook.
THE CLOCK now reads 3:37.


MARTY is horrified! Strickland is 3 shades away from Marty*s window. Marty looks
anxiously up at the matchbook.

(under his breath)
Come on, come on...!

Strickland pulls down the next shade.

There is more smoke from the matchbook...

Burn, you sucker...!

Strickland pulls down another shade. The next one is Marty*s...

Strickland steps toward it...

Suddenly the matchbook ignites! FIRE!



Students jump up and scream as water sprays all over them! They rush for the door.
MARTY grabs the kid with the skateboard, named W EEZE.

Weeze — let me borrow this! I*ll bring it back tomorrow!

Marty takes the skateboard and dashes out.

Stop! Wait! We must file out in an orderly fashion!

Another sprinkler goes off and sprays Strickland right in the face!


It*s a classic WPA style high school, built in the 1930*s. Marty dashes out, jumps on the
skateboard, and skateboards down the front steps!


Marty comes from around the corner, skateboards down a hill, weaving through traffic. He
skateboards like a champ.

This is HILL VALLEY, a northern California town; it *s October. The town has been here a
while — and its town square business district is beginning to deteriorate... undoubtedly
because there*s a mall someplace.

The old courthouse, now the Department of Social Services, has a clock tower — but the
clock is stopped at 10:02.

A time and temperature clock on the BANK reads 3:43.
MARTY skateboards down the business street and across traffic, narrowly missing being
hit by a car!


3 MEMBERS of the PINHEADS rock band, KEYBOARDS, BASS and DRUMS, exchange
nervous glances, repeatedly checking their watches. They*re all set up on stage.

SUZY PARKER is also here — but she*s not part of the band. *

Suddenly, Marty skateboards onto the stage. *


Marty gives her a wink; she smiles.

Marty*s guitar, amp and microphone have already been set up for him. He picks up the
guitar and tunes up, then looks over at Suzy.

Suzy smiles and holds up her crossed fingers. Marty grins back. Clearly, they*re “an item.”

Marty practices a riff...and he*s great. You can*t tell where the guitar ends and the man
begins. He turns and addresses the dance committee.

All right, we*re the Pinheads, and we*re gonna rock ‘n roll!

They kick into a red hot number. Marty*s fingers dance across the strings and frets in a
complicated lead line. He*s terrific, and the band sounds great.

They get only about 25 seconds into the number when a VOICE calls out.

That*s enough. Thank you.

Marty and the group stop playing, exchanging bewildered glances.
Genres: ["Comedy"]

Summary Marty gets detention after being caught listening to music in class. He tries to explain that he has an important audition with his band, but Mr. Strickland doesn't care. In detention, Marty devises a plan to set off the fire alarm to escape and make it to his audition. However, things go wrong when the fire alarm causes the sprinklers to go off and everyone to panic. Marty quickly grabs a skateboard and escapes, making his way to the audition location. He arrives just in time to perform a great guitar solo, but is abruptly cut off by the dance committee.
Strengths "The scene effectively builds tension with Marty's plan and the chaotic escape. The humor is well-executed and adds to the light-hearted tone of the scene. The pacing is also strong."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more impactful and memorable. The theme could be further developed and explored."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively establishes the setting and characters. The descriptions provide clear visuals for the reader and set the tone for the scene. The actions and dialogue flow smoothly and allow the reader to follow the events that unfold.

The scene effectively builds tension as Marty sets up his prank, and the suspense is maintained until the climax when the fire alarm is triggered. The use of the clock and the countdown of time adds to the sense of urgency.

The scene also introduces the character dynamics between Marty and Mr. Strickland, as well as Marty and Suzy. Marty's wit and resourcefulness are showcased through his actions, and his relationship with Suzy adds an additional layer of storytelling.

The only potential improvement could be to provide a bit more depth to the characters. While their actions and motivations are clear, a deeper exploration of their personalities and backgrounds could further engage the audience.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the story and engages the reader, keeping them interested in what will happen next.
Suggestions Below are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual description: Provide more detailed descriptions of the characters, their actions, and the setting to help paint a clearer picture for the reader. For example, describe Marty's appearance, the expressions on the students' faces, and the specific actions of Mr. Strickland.

2. Develop Marty's motivation: Clarify why Marty is trying to create a distraction in the classroom. Is it because he wants to escape detention or accomplish something else? Adding this information will make his actions more meaningful and purposeful.

3. Increase tension and suspense: Use language and sentence structure to build anticipation and tension throughout the scene. For example, describe Marty's actions with more urgency and use shorter, snappier sentences during key moments of the scene.

4. Enhance character dynamics: Include more interactions between Marty and the other students to show their relationships and establish distinct personalities for each of them. This will make the scene more engaging and add depth to the characters.

5. Show consequences: After Marty sets off the fire alarm and sprinklers, include a short moment to show the aftermath of his actions. This could involve Marty getting in trouble, students reacting to the chaos, or Mr. Strickland's response. It will add a sense of consequence to the scene.

6. Clarify Marty's escape: Describe in more detail how Marty escapes the classroom and why he chooses to take the skateboard from Weeze. This will provide a smoother transition from the classroom to the next scene.

Scene 3 -  Detention Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

On some of the boarded up buildings are ELECTION POSTERS: “RE-ELECT MAYOR
‘GOLDIE* WILSON: HONESTY, DECENCY, INTEGRITY” and a picture of the incumbent.
Mayor Wilson is black, about 45, with a GOLD FRONT TOOTH.

MARTY and SUZY are walking together. She carries her schoolbooks: he has the
skateboard. And he*s depressed.

Marty, one rejection isn*t the end of the world.

I don*t know. Maybe I*m just not cut out for music.

But you*re good, Marty. You*re really good. And this audition tape of yours *
is great... (she gives him back a CASSETTE TAPE) You*ve got to send it in *
to that record company. *

But what if they hate it? What if they say, “get outta here, kid, you got no
future?” Why should I put myself through all that anxiety? (He sighs.) I*m
sorry. I guess I sound like some kinda schizoid neurotic.

Well, according to my shrink, all of our emotional anxieties are a direct result
of the influence our parents had in our childhood.

In that case, you can kiss me off right now. You*ve met my old man. You
know what a zero he is.

Suzy nods knowingly. They are walking past a TOYOTA DEALERSHIP. *

At least he*s letting you borrow the car tomorrow night. That*s a step in the
right direction.

Hey, I*m TAKING the car tomorrow night. That way it saves him the anxiety
of making a decision.

Marty spots a tricked-out black SUPRA in the showroom. *

Hey, check out that tricked-out Supra. Now THAT *S a car. (sighs, admiring it *
longingly) Someday, Suzy, someday... *

What about your mother? Does she know?

Are you kidding? She thinks I*m going camping with the guys. If she found
out I was going camping with you, she*d shit.

Marty sprays some BINACA in his mouth.

(nods knowingly)
My shrink says a lot of parents are sexually repressed.
My mom*s not sexually repressed. How can you be repressed about
something you know absolutely nothing about?

They pause across from the former courthouse building.

She*s just trying to keep you respectable.

(flirting back)
She*s not doing a very good job, is she?

They move closer...


They*re about to kiss...

Save the Clock Tower!

Marty and Suzy turn. A middle-aged CHURCH GROUP TYPE WOMAN has a donation can
and an armful of printed FLYERS.

Please make a donation to save the clock tower.

Lady, can*t you see I*m busy here?

Mayor Wilson is sponsoring an initiative to repair that clock...

She points to the stopped clock on the old courthouse building.

We at the Hill Valley Preservation Society think it should be preserved
exactly the way it is.

But it doesn*t tell time. What good is it?

It*s part of our history. Here — it *s all in this flyer. (gives Marty one) 30
years ago, lightning struck that clock tower, and the clock hasn’t run since.
We at the society feel it *s a landmark of scientific importance, attesting to
the power of the Almighty.

All right, lady. Here*s a quarter.
Marty drops a quarter into her can.

She nods and moves along to bother someone else.

(to Suzy)
Now... you were saying that my mother wasn*t doing a very good job...

They move closer again as before, about to kiss...

Suddenly, a MALE VOICE booms out over a P.A.

Marty! Marty McFly!

Marty turns.

A medium sized RV with speakers mounted on the side is idling across the street. The
vehicle is quite used. It*s towing a tarped vehicle on a trailer.

Marty recognizes it, and rolls his eyes.

Doc, I*m busy.

It*ll only take a minute...

(to Suzy)
Come on, you should see what*s inside this thing.

They go over and step inside.
Genres: ["Comedy","Teen"]

Summary Marty gets detention after being caught listening to music in class. He tries to explain that he has an important audition with his band, but Mr. Strickland doesn't care. In detention, Marty devises a plan to set off the fire alarm to escape and make it to his audition. However, things go wrong when the fire alarm causes the sprinklers to go off and everyone to panic. Marty quickly grabs a skateboard and escapes, making his way to the audition location. He arrives just in time to perform a great guitar solo, but is abruptly cut off by the dance committee.
Strengths "The scene introduces a clear conflict for the main character and has moments of humor and action."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be stronger and the theme could be more developed."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively establishes the setting and characters. Here are some specific critiques:

1. The scene lacks visual descriptions. While it does provide some information about the town square and the boarded up buildings, there could be more specific details to enhance the visual aspect of the scene. This would help create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience.

2. Some of the dialogue feels a bit on the nose and forced. For example, Marty saying "I guess I sound like some kinda schizoid neurotic" and Suzy's response about emotional anxieties being a result of parents' influence. It might be more effective to find more subtle and organic ways to convey these ideas.

3. The exchange about Marty's mother trying to keep him respectable and him flirting back feels slightly out of place and disconnected from the rest of the scene. While it adds a touch of humor, it could be more seamlessly integrated or considered for removal to maintain the focus of the scene.

4. The appearance of the CLOCK WOMAN and the subsequent interaction with Marty and Suzy takes away from the momentum and establishes a tangent that doesn't seem relevant to the main plot. Consider either removing this interaction or finding a way to connect it more directly to the story.

5. The introduction of Doc and the RV feels slightly abrupt and random. It may benefit from a smoother transition or a clearer establishment of the characters' relationship prior to this introduction.

Overall, the scene could benefit from tighter cohesion and a clearer focus on the main objective or conflict. Additionally, adding more visual descriptions and tightening up some of the dialogue would enhance the overall quality of the scene.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the location: Specify the name of the town square or provide any relevant details to help visualize the setting better.

2. Character descriptions: Expand on the physical descriptions of Marty and Suzy to give a clearer picture of their appearances and ages.

3. Show, don't tell emotions: Instead of stating Marty is depressed, show his mood through his actions and dialogue. For example, he could have a slumped posture, lack of enthusiasm in his voice, or express his disappointment more vividly.

4. Dialogue tightening: Consider tightening and refining the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Trim unnecessary lines and repetitions to keep the scene moving smoothly.

5. Visual descriptions: Add more visual details to enhance the reader's experience. For example, describe the atmosphere of the town square or provide more specific details about the boarded-up buildings and election posters.

6. Character development: Explore Marty and Suzy's relationship further by depicting their dynamics and chemistry through subtext and gestures rather than relying solely on dialogue.

7. Conflict and stakes: Introduce more conflict or stakes in the scene that connect to the overall story. For example, instead of just discussing Marty's rejection and anxiety, consider incorporating elements that tie into his larger goal or desire.

8. Tone and humor: Depending on the genre or tone of the film, consider injecting humor or adding elements that reflect the overall tone of the script. This can help engage the audience and make the scene more memorable.

9. Smooth transitions: Make the transition from the Clock Woman interrupting their conversation to Marty and Suzy moving closer again more seamless. This will avoid any abrupt shifts in the scene's flow and keep the momentum going.

10. Visual cues: Use visual cues to guide the reader's imagination and enhance the emotional impact of the scene. For instance, describe the characters' body language or facial expressions to convey their thoughts and feelings more effectively.

Remember, these suggestions are subjective, and ultimately, it's up to the writer's vision and storytelling style to determine the final version of the scene.

Scene 4 -  Marty's Plan Gone Wrong
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

The driver is DR. EMMETT BROWN, about 65. He looks like an old hippie, with shoulder
length white hair, Hawaiian shirt, faded jeans, an Indian turquoise around his neck and
lively — almost wild — eyes. He*s full of energy, full of life, talks f ast, and is immediately
likable for his eccentricities.

With him in the RV is his big DOG, “EINSTEIN.”

The inside of the vehicle is full of CLOCKS — every imaginable type, a Cuckoo, a
Grandfather, even a classic “Felix the Cat with moving eyes”. All of them are in dead sync.
There is also a bank of state-of-the-art component video and audio equipment. The 25-inch
monitor is tuned to MTV. There are discarded fast food cartons, and a spilled box of sugar
coated cereal, an unmade bed, a doggie dish, and tools and electronic parts. We might
also notice a lead canister with purple radiation symbols.

What *s up, Doc?

One a.m., right, Marty? You*re gonna be there, right? Twin Pines Mall. *
Yeah, right.

Brown takes the “Save the Clock” flyer out of Marty*s hand.

Let me write it down for you so you don*t forget... (writes on the back) “Twin *
Pines Mall... one a.m.” Twin Pines Mall — remember when that used to be *
Peabody*s farm? It was all farmland out there. No — I guess that was *
before your time, Marty. *

He folds the flyer and sticks it in Marty*s pocket.

You*re feeling all right, Marty? You*ve been getting plenty of rest?

Yeah, but Doc, exactly what are we gonna do at one a.m.?

You want me to spoil it for you? Don*t worry about it — it*ll be great.

You*re not planning on breaking into another power plant or something...?
That was kinda risky.

That*s the point, Marty. Risk. Risk makes life worth living. What would you
rather do, sleep?

Brown checks one of the 4 watches on his arm.

(sudden urgency)
It*s almost time — quiet!

Suzy gives Marty a bewildered look, but Marty knows what’s about to happen...

It*s exactly 4 o*clock, and all of the clocks CHIME at once — dings, dongs, electronic
tones, cuckoo birds...

Brown loves it — he drinks it up like a proud father.

I love that!

Look, Doc, we*ve gotta go. I*ll...see you tonight.

Yes! At one a.m.! It could change your life.

Marty and Suzy step out of the RV.

Marty and Suzy watch the RV go.

I don*t know if you should be hanging out with a guy like that after midnight.

Doc Brown *s all right — he*s just a little hung up on time. A couple of years *
ago, he showed up at my house and hired me to sweep out this garage of
his. He pays me 50 bucks a week, gives me free beer... and gives me total
access to his record collection — he*s got this great old record collection.
(a beat)
Hard to believe he was one of the world*s greatest nuclear physicists. *

Down the street, Brown*s RV waits for an ELDERLY MAN to hobble across the street.
Brown *s voice booms out over his P .A.

Let*s move it, Gramps! You*re not that old!

Suzy gives Marty a look of disbelief.

Too much radiation, I guess.
(a beat, moves closer to her)
Where were we?

She smiles and moves toward him.

I think we were right here...

Again they*re about to kiss...

A CAR HORN HONKS LOUDLY. Suzy turns away.

That*s my Dad. See you tomorrow.

She hops into the waiting car. Marty watches it go.

This is not my day.

Genres: ["comedy","adventure","sci-fi"]

Summary Marty gets detention for listening to music in class, but tries to explain that he has an important audition with his band. In detention, he devises a plan to set off the fire alarm to escape and make it to his audition. However, things go wrong when the sprinklers go off and everyone panics. Marty escapes and arrives just in time for his guitar solo at the audition, but is abruptly cut off by the dance committee.
Strengths "The scene has a good mix of humor and action, with Marty's plan going wrong and the chaos that ensues."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be improved to make it more engaging and memorable."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively introduces the character of Dr. Emmett Brown and his eccentricities. The description of his appearance and personality paint a clear picture of who he is, and his dialogue reinforces his energetic and quirky nature. The inclusion of the clocks inside the RV adds to his obsession with time, and the mention of the lead canister with radiation symbols hints at his involvement in some kind of experiment.

The conversation between Marty and Doc Brown also helps establish their relationship and hints at their upcoming adventure. The interaction between them feels natural and gives a sense of their dynamic.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved in this scene. The description could be more concise, as there is excessive detail about the inside of the RV that may not be necessary to convey the atmosphere. Additionally, there could be more visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling, rather than relying solely on dialogue. For example, showing Marty's reaction to the clocks chiming or Doc Brown's enthusiasm could make the scene more visually engaging.

Overall, this scene effectively introduces the characters and their dynamic while setting up the upcoming events. With some minor adjustments, it would make for a strong opening to a screenplay.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual cues to help the audience understand the character of Doc Brown. Instead of just describing his appearance and personality through dialogue, show the audience some of his eccentric behavior or habits. For example, have him interact with one of the clocks in a unique way or show him tinkering with his electronic equipment. This will visually convey his quirkiness and add depth to his characterization.

Additionally, consider adding some conflict or tension to the scene. Right now, it is mostly a conversation between Marty and Doc Brown. To make the scene more engaging, introduce some sort of obstacle or challenge for the characters to overcome. This could be a small disagreement or a problem that requires their immediate attention. This will add energy and forward momentum to the scene.

Lastly, consider tightening up the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Some of the dialogue exchanges feel a bit wordy or repetitive. Streamlining the dialogue can help maintain the pace of the scene and keep the audience engaged.

Scene 5 -  Detention Escape
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
A WRECKER is in the McFly driveway with a 1979 Plymouth Reliant in tow: its front end is
completely smashed, as if someone rammed it into a brick wall. The truck driver is
unhitching it.

Looking on with horror is timid GEORGE McFLY, 47, a balding, boring, uninspired man
who wears a suit he bought at Sears 4 years ago.

Next to him is BIFF TANNEN, 48, an intimidating lout, who wears gold chains and pinky
rings, with sartorial taste to match.

MARTY skateboards up to the scene and is shocked. He listens as Biff lambasts his father.

I can*t believe you did this, McFly. I can*t believe you loaned me your car
without telling me it had a blind spot. I could have been killed!

Biff, I never noticed any blind spot before.

It*s there, McFly. How else can you explain this?

Can I assume that your insurance will pay for this?


My insurance? It’s your car. Your insurance should pay for it. I wanna know
who*s gonna pay for THIS! (indicates his stained suit) I spilled beer all over
it when that car hit me. Who *s gonna pay the cleaning bill?

George hesitates, then meekly pulls out his wallet.

Do you think 20 dollars will cover it?

Biff snatches the 20 dollar bill out of George*s hand.

It*s a start. And hey... where*s my reports?

Well, I haven*t finished them yet. I figured since they weren*t due till

(knocks on George*s head)
Hello? Anybody home? Think, McFly, think! I*ve gotta have time to get ‘em
retyped. If I turn in my reports in your handwriting, I*ll get fired.

Okay, I*ll finish them tonight and run them over first thing in the morning.

Not too early — I sleep in on Saturday.
(about to leave)
Oh, hey, McFly: your shoe*s untied.
(falling for it)

He looks down and Biff hits him on the chin. Biff laug hs loudly.

Don’t be so gullible, McFly!

Biff walks over to his sparkling year old CADILLAC on the street. He spots Marty.

Hiya, kid. How do you like my new paint job?

Marty doesn*t. He steps over to his father, outraged. He *s about to say something, but
George raises his hands and cuts him off.

I know what you*re going to say, son, and you*re right. You*re right. But he
happens to be my supervisor, and I*m afraid I*m just not very good at

But Jesus Christ, Dad, look at the car! Look what he did to the car!

I know. And I know you were counting on using it, and I*m sorry.

Do you have any idea how important this was to me, Dad? Do you have any
idea at all?

Well... I guess I don*t...

Biff screeches out in his Cadillac.

Dad, did it ever occur to you to say “no?” To just once try saying “no?”

Son, I know it*s hard for you to understand, but the fact is, I*m just not a

Try it once, Dad. Just one time, say “no.”

Now the NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR sticks his head out the window of the adjacent house.
He*s 40, pot-bellied, named HOWARD.

Hey, McFly! My kid*s selling Girl Scout cookies! I told her you*d be good for
a case.
Marty shakes his head. George gulps, then calls back. *

Well... okay.

Marty shakes his head hopelessly.

Genres: ["comedy","drama","coming-of-age"]

Summary Marty gets detention for listening to music in class. In detention, he plans to set off the fire alarm to escape and make it to his band audition. However, things go wrong and the sprinklers go off, causing chaos. Marty manages to escape and arrives just in time for his guitar solo at the audition, but is abruptly cut off by the dance committee.
Strengths "The scene effectively captures Marty's determination and desperation to make it to his band audition. It also has comedic moments, particularly during Marty's escape and the interaction with Mr. Strickland."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from further developing Mr. Strickland's character and exploring Marty's emotions and internal struggle more deeply."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively introduces the conflict between George McFly and Biff Tannen and sets up the dynamic between them. It also highlights George's timid and passive nature, as well as Biff's antagonistic behavior.

One possible critique is that some of the dialogue feels slightly exaggerated or cliché, particularly in Biff's lines. For example, his line "Hello? Anybody home? Think, McFly, think!" may come across as slightly forced. Additionally, Biff's physical actions, such as knocking on George's head, might be seen as unrealistic or over-the-top.

Furthermore, Marty's reactions and dialogue could be developed further to show a stronger emotional response to the situation. His anger and frustration with his father's passivity could be more evident in his lines and actions.

In terms of the structure and pacing, the scene flows smoothly and effectively progresses the storyline. The actions and dialogue are clear and easy to follow.

Overall, the scene sets up an interesting conflict and dynamic between the characters, but there may be opportunities to polish the dialogue and further develop the emotional depth of the characters.
Suggestions Overall, this scene could benefit from some tightening and clarity. Here are some suggestions:

1. Introduce the characters with more concise and impactful descriptions: Instead of listing George and Biff's characteristics in separate sentences, try combining them into one sentence for each character. For example, "GEORGE MCFLY (47), a timid and uninspired man in a four-year-old suit from Sears, watches with horror. BIFF TANNEN (48), an intimidating lout with gold chains and pinky rings, lambastes George."

2. Cut down on excess dialogue: Some exchanges between Biff and George can be shortened or removed to maintain a more brisk pace. For example, consider condensing Biff's lines about the blind spot and George's insurance with something like: "BIFF: I can't believe you loaned me your car! GEORGE: I never noticed a blind spot before. Will your insurance cover the damages?"

3. Show Marty's emotions more clearly: Instead of stating that Marty is "shocked" and "outraged," try to incorporate his emotions into his dialogue and actions. For example, have him interrupt Biff with an exasperated tone and gestures when he says, "Dad, did it ever occur to you to say 'no'? Look what he did to the car!"

4. Find a more natural point for the neighbor's interruption: The neighbor's interruption breaks the flow of the scene and could be better placed at a different moment. Consider having the neighbor interrupt when George hesitates to pay for the cleaning bill, adding some comic relief to the tense situation.

5. Provide clearer formatting and transitions: It's important to have clear formatting and transitions between scenes. Make sure to properly format the scene number and heading. Additionally, consider adding a brief action line or description before the "CUT TO:" to smoothly transition to the next scene.

By implementing these suggestions, you can improve the pacing, clarity, and emotional impact of this scene in the screenplay.

Scene 6 -  The McFly Family Dinner
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7

The McFly family is dining on meat loaf, Kraft macaroni and cheese, Bird*s Eye mixed
vegetables, and French*s instant mashed potatoes.

Marty*s mother, LORRAINE, 47, was once very attractive. Now she*s OVERWEIGHT, in a
rut, a victim of suburban stagnation. She has more food on her plate than anyone else, and
a glass of vodka.

GEORGE has papers in front of him instead of food: he*s doing the work Biff gave him.
He*s also glancing at the TV, which is tuned to a “Honeymooners” rerun.

Sister LINDA, 19, is cute but wears too much eye makeup; brother DAVE, 22, wears a
MCDONALD*S UNIFORM and is wolfing down his food.

(to Marty) *
Believe me, son, you*re better off not having the aggravation of dealing with *
that YMCA dance. You*d have to worry about getting all your equipment *
there, making contingency plans in case someone got sick, making sure you *
got paid correctly, settling with the Musician*s union... and what if you were *
so good that other people wanted to hire you? You*d have to worry about *
scheduling your jobs around school. Believe me, son, you*re better off *
without those headaches. *

Thanks for the pep talk, Dad. *

Kids, your Uncle Joey didn*t make parole again. I think it would be nice if
you all dropped him a line.

Uncle “Jailbird Joey”?

He*s your brother, Mom.

Yeah. I think it*s a major embarrassment having an uncle in prison.

We all make mistakes in life, children. *
(checks watch)
Damn, I*m late.

He wipes his mouth and hurries off.

Please watch your language, David.

(to Marty)
Suzy Parker called... wants you to call her back.

I don*t like her, Marty. Any girl who calls up a boy is looking for trouble. Pass
the mashed potatoes, please.

Marty passes them and Lorraine takes a big helping.

Oh, Mother, there*s nothing wrong with calling a boy.

Well, I think it *s terrible, girls chasing boys. I never chased a boy when I was
your age. I never called a boy, or asked a boy on a date, or sat in a parked
car with a boy. Because when you behave like that, boys won*t respect you,
Linda. They*ll think you*re cheap.

Linda rolls her eyes. She*s heard this a million times.

Then how are you ever supposed to meet anybody?

It*ll just happen. Like the way I met your father.

But that was so stupid! Grandpa hit him with his car.

It was meant to be.

I still don*t understand what Dad was doing in the middle of the street.

What was it, George? Birdwatching?

(absorbed in his work)
Huh? Did you say something, Lorraine?

(to Linda and Marty)
Anyway, Grandpa hit him with the car and brought him into the house. He
seemed so helpless... like a little lost dog. And my heart just went out to him.

Yeah, Mom, you*ve told us a million times: “Florence Nightingale to the

(thoughtfully, remembering)
The next weekend, we went on our first date: the “Enchantment Under the
Sea” school dance. I*ll never forget it — it was the night of that terrible *
thunderstorm. Remember, George?

What *s that, dear?

(ignores him; to Marty and Linda)
Your father kissed me for the very first time on the dance floor... and that
was when I realized I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.

Marty and Linda exchange a look and shake their heads.

I can*t believe Dad actually got up enough nerve to kiss you in public.

Well, I may have encouraged him a little...

I*ll bet you had to practically jump on his bones.

Marty gets up, finished eating.

You watch your mouth, young man. And excuse yourself when you get up
from the table.

Marty is already out of the room.

May I be excused?



Marty*s walls are covered with posters of rock stars and cars — particularly Toyota Supras. *

There is also a portable home synthesizer, a tape recorder, and a stack of lead sheets.

Marty sits at his desk, with an submission form that has an “R & G RECORDS” letterhead, *
an envelope, and the cassette tape Suzy Parker gave him. There*s also a picture of Suzy *

He signs the form and puts it in the envelope, along with the cassette tape. He is about to
seal it — then he hesitates, and ponders a moment. He stares at the envelope — it *s *
addressed to the “R & G RECORDS, NEW TALENT DIVISION.” He sighs, shakes his
head, pulls the tape out and chucks the envelope and application into the trash can.



It*s almost 12:30. CAMERA PANS to pick up Marty lying asleep on the bed fully clothed. *

Now Marty*s CORDLESS PHONE beeps. Marty stirs and answers it. *

(into phone)
(a beat, rolls his eyes)
No, I haven*t forgotten, Doc. One a.m., Twin Pines Mall. *

He hangs up and shakes his head.

Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary At the McFly family dinner table, Marty's family discusses various topics, including his detention and upcoming band audition. Marty's mother Lorraine reminisces about how she met Marty's father, George. Marty later goes to his bedroom and contemplates submitting his audition tape to a record label, but ultimately decides not to.
Strengths "The scene establishes the dynamics and personalities of Marty's family members, particularly Lorraine. The dialogue is humorous and reveals backstory."
Weaknesses "The scene may not have a significant impact on the overall plot, and the dialogue can be repetitive at times."
Critique Overall, the scene provides some good character development and establishes the dynamic within the McFly family. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the physical descriptions of the characters could be more nuanced. Instead of relying on stereotypes ("cute but wears too much eye makeup"), it would be more effective to describe their appearances in a way that reveals something about their personalities or conflicts. This could add depth to the characters and make them more memorable.

Additionally, the dialogue could be tightened up in some places. For example, when George is talking to Marty about the YMCA dance, the dialogue feels a bit long and repetitive. It could be condensed to get to the point more quickly. Similarly, some of the back-and-forth between Linda and Lorraine about Uncle Joey feels a bit repetitive. Streamlining the dialogue would make the scene more engaging and efficient.

Furthermore, the transition to Marty's bedroom feels abrupt and could use some better visual cues. It's unclear why Marty suddenly decides not to send his music submission, and the transition between the dinner table and his bedroom could be smoother. Adding in a shot or action that conveys his internal conflict or change of heart would make this transition more seamless and clear.

Overall, the scene has potential and effectively introduces the characters and their relationships. With some improvements in character descriptions, dialogue efficiency, and transitions, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clearer descriptions: Provide more visual details to help the reader visualize the setting and characters. For example, describe the atmosphere of the dinner table and the appearance of each family member in more detail.

2. Show, don't tell: Instead of stating that Lorraine is overweight and in a rut, show her actions and expressions that convey these traits.

3. Character development: Develop the characters of Marty, Lorraine, and George further by giving them distinct personalities and backstories. This will make the scene more interesting and engaging.

4. Dialogue: Make sure each character's dialogue sounds unique and authentic to their personality. Consider adding subtext and conflict to the conversation between George and Marty about the YMCA dance.

5. Conflict: Introduce more conflict within the family dynamic to create tension and make the scene more engaging. This can be done through arguments or disagreements between family members.

6. Visual storytelling: Explore ways to visually convey the emotions and dynamics between the characters. Use body language, facial expressions, and gestures to enhance the scene and add depth to the characters.

7. Focus: Consider trimming some of the dialogue to keep the scene focused and concise. Remove any unnecessary lines that don't contribute to the overall story or character development.

8. Formatting: Ensure that the scene is properly formatted and adheres to industry standards for screenwriting.

By implementing these suggestions, you can improve the scene and make it more compelling for the audience.

Scene 7 -  The Time Machine Test
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

CAMERA PANS from the lit entrance sign, depicting 2 PINE TREES with “TW IN PINES *
MALL” in lettering below (along with a digital clock at 12:59) to pick up MARTY on his *
skateboard with another WALKMAN (it *s a different brand than the one Strickland
smashed). Marty skateboards around a corner of the mall and sees Brown *s RV on the
vast, sodium vapor lit parking lot. DR. BROWN is clad in a white radiation suit, hood off,
(still with his Indian turquoise around his neck)and EINSTEIN, are both next to

wicked looking units on its rear engine, giving it a particularly dangerous feel. There are
coils along the front and rear decks.

There are also several small cases of supplies and equipment, and a piece of American
Tourister luggage around the RV.

Marty skateboards over, totally blown away by the car.

Jeez, Doc, a DeLorean! What the hell did you do to it?

Grab the camera and start taping, Marty. I*ll explain as we go.

Brown indicates a HOME VIDEO CAMERA nearby. Marty picks it up.

And what*s with the Devo suit?

Brown lifts open the driver*s side gull wing door.

Come on, Einstein. Get in, boy.
The dog obediently jumps in and sits in the driver*s seat. Brown buckles him in with the
shoulder harness. The dog has a BATTERY OPERATED DIGITAL CLOCK hanging
around his neck.

Marty begins taping, handheld, cinema verite style.

(to Marty and video camera)
All right, this is test #1. Please note that Einstein *s clock here is in precise
synchronization with my control watch.

Brown holds up a digital watch next to Einstein*s clock; indeed, the two are in dead sync.

(to the dog)
Good luck, Einie.

Brown reaches in and starts the ignition. The DeLorean engine ROARS to life. Brown turns
on the headlights and lowers the gull wing door, sealing Einstein in.

He steps back and picks up a REMOTE CONTROL UNIT, similar to one for a radio
controlled toy car. There are buttons labeled “Accelerator” and “Brake”, a joystick, and an
L.E.D. digital readout labeled “Miles Per Hour.” Brown flicks the power switch on and, using
the accelerator button and joystick for steering, sends the DeLorean down to the far, far
end of the parking lot. He turns the car around so that it *s pointing toward them, idling.

Here we go, Marty. If my calculations are correct, when the car hits 88 miles
an hour, you*re gonna see some serious shit.

Brown takes a deep breath, then pushes the accelerator button.

The DeLorean takes off, shifting gears automatically.

The L.E.D. speedometer passes 30.

The stainless steel vehicle zooms faster... past 40...

Marty is getting it all on tape.

Brown watches intently. The speedometer climbs past 60.

IN THE CAR, Einstein remains calmly in the driver*s seat. Gauges and instrument lights
mounted behind him begin flashing.

Brown *s finger holds the accelerator button down.

The meter passes 75.

The DeLorean keeps accelerating, approaching Marty and Brown. The coils mounted
around the car begin glowing.
Genres: ["Comedy","Science Fiction"]

Summary Marty joins Dr. Brown in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot where they witness a DeLorean time machine. Dr. Brown explains that they are going to test it, and Marty starts filming. As the car reaches 88 miles per hour, they anticipate something amazing is about to happen.
Strengths "Exciting introduction to the time machine scene, good pacing and anticipation"
Weaknesses "Dialogue could be stronger, not much character development in this specific scene"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the excitement and anticipation surrounding the DeLorean time machine. Here are a few specific points to consider for critique:

1. Scene Description: The description of the setting and the DeLorean are vivid, allowing the reader to visualize the scene clearly. However, some of the descriptions could be streamlined for better flow and pacing. For example, instead of listing all the details about the DeLorean at once, it could be split into shorter sentences to create more anticipation.

2. Dialogue: The dialogue between Marty and Doc Brown is engaging and reveals their personalities. However, the dialogue tags could be improved for smoother reading. Instead of using dialogue tags like "BROWN" and "MARTY" in all caps, it would be more effective to use standard formatting with character names followed by a comma.

3. Action Lines: The action lines effectively convey the movement and actions of the characters. The use of present tense verbs creates a sense of immediacy and keeps the pace of the scene. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and typos (e.g., "*s" instead of "is" and "it*s" instead of "it's"), which should be corrected.

4. Tension and Suspense: The build-up to the DeLorean reaching 88 miles per hour is well-executed, creating tension and suspense. The use of short sentences and fragmented descriptions adds to the excitement. However, some of the sentences could be more concise and impactful to maintain the pace and urgency of the scene.

In conclusion, this scene effectively establishes the anticipation and excitement surrounding the DeLorean time machine. With some minor adjustments to the scene description, dialogue formatting, and tightening up the action lines, it would be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the description: While the scene is mostly clear, there are a few sentences that could be clarified for better understanding. For example, in the beginning, instead of saying "CAMERA PANS," specify whether it pans left or right. Additionally, instead of "Marty skateboards over, totally blown away by the car," you could add more specific actions or visuals to show his reaction, such as him stopping abruptly and his jaw dropping.

2. Develop character emotions: Add more emotional reactions from Marty and Dr. Brown to create a stronger connection with the audience. How do they feel about the modifications to the car? Are they excited or nervous? Show their emotions through dialogue and actions.

3. Use stronger dialogue: While the dialogue is functional, it could be enhanced for more impact. Consider adding more humor, sarcasm, or personality to make it memorable. For example, instead of Marty simply saying, "Jeez, Doc, a DeLorean! What the hell did you do to it?" he could say something like, "Holy crap, Doc! Did you turn this DeLorean into a freaking time machine or something?"

4. Show Marty's curiosity and excitement: Highlight Marty's fascination with the car by including more visual cues or reactions. For example, describe Marty circling the car, touching the sleek exterior, or asking more questions about the modifications.

5. Clarify the purpose of the scene: Make sure the audience understands the significance of the scene within the overall story. Is this the first time Marty sees the time-traveling car? Does this scene set up the upcoming time-travel adventure? Clarify the context and purpose to keep the audience engaged.

6. Create tension and suspense: To make the scene more engaging, add elements of tension and suspense. Foreshadow the dangers or consequences of time travel to build anticipation for future events. The line, "when the car hits 88 miles an hour, you're gonna see some serious shit," is a good start, but consider adding more details or ominous foreshadowing.

7. Add visual descriptions: While the scene is mostly visually descriptive, you could add more details to create a vivid image. For example, describe the colors and patterns on the coils, the flashing lights in the car, or the glowing effect of the coils mounted around the car.

Remember, these suggestions are subjective, so feel free to adapt or modify them according to your vision for the scene. Ultimately, it's important to keep the scene engaging, impactful, and aligned with the overall tone and themes of the script.

Scene 8 -  Time Travel Test
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

The speedometer hits 85... 86... 87... 88...
The automobile is suddenly engulfed by a BLINDING WHITE GLOW — then, BLAM! It*s
gone, a TRAIL OF FIRE left in its wake.

19 Brown and Marty are hit by a sharp blast of air. Marty blinks in disbelief: it*s as if the car 19
never existed. Only the LICENSE PLATE is left behind — a vanity plate: “NO TIME.”

What *d I tell you? 88 miles per hour! Temporal displacement occurred at
(checks watch) exactly 1:02 a.m. and zero seconds.

Christ Almighty! You disintegrated Einstein!

Calm down, Marty. I didn*t disintegrate anything. The molecular structure of
both Einstein and the car are completely intact.

Then where the hell are they?

The appropriate question is: WHEN the hell are they. You see, Einstein has
just become the world*s first time traveler. I sent him into the future — one
minute into the future, to be exact. And at exactly 1:03 a.m. and zero
seconds, we shall catch up to him... and the time machine.

Time machine? Are you trying to tell me you built a time machine out of a

(smiles, modestly)
The way I figured it, if you*re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not
do it with some style? Besides, the stainless steel construction made the flux
(his digital watch BEEPS)
Ten seconds! Roll tape — and brace yourself for a sudden displacement of

Marty aims the camera right where the DeLorean disappeared. Brown grips the remote
control unit tightly and counts down.


Their hair stands up on end, charged up with static electricity...

20 Suddenly, a SHARP BLAST OF WIND comes up out of nowhere, along with a 20
DEAFENING SONIC BOOM — and the DELOREAN REAPPEARS right where it vanished,
still going 88 m.p.h.!

21 Brown hits the brake button. 21
The car wheels lock up and the DeLorean comes to a SCREECHING HALT, smoke
pouring off the body.

Brown and Marty rush over to the car. Brown approaches cautiously and reaches for the
door handle. He touches it and recoils in pain.

Is it hot?

It*s cold. Damned cold.

Brown raises the driver*s side door: there sits Einstein, none the worse for wear. Brown
again compares his watch with Einstein*s.


Einstein*s reads 1:02:10; Brown*s is 1:03:10.


Exactly one minute difference — and still ticking!

Is Einstein all right?

Brown unbuckles the shoulder harness, and Einstein bounds out, happy and playful. Brown
gives the dog a Milk Bone reward.

Good boy, Einie!
(to Marty)
He*s fine. And he*s completely unaware that anything happened. As far as
he*s concerned, the trip was instantaneous. That*s why his watch is a
minute behind mine — he “skipped over” that minute to instantly arrive at
this moment in time. Come here, let me show you how it works...

Marty is still a bit skeptical, uneasy. Brown waves him over, like a kid who wants to show
off a new toy. Marty approaches cautiously.

First, you turn the time circuits on...

Brown flips the labeled switch. An array of indicator lights go on inside.

This readout, tells you where you*re going, this one tells you where you are,
this one tells you where you were.

The three readouts are respectively labeled “DESTINATION TIME,” “PRESENT TIME” and
You input your destination time on this keypad. Want to see the signing of
the Declaration of Independence?

He punches 7-4-1776. The “DESTINATION TIME” readout lights up with the date.

Or witness the birth of Christ?

He punches in 12-25-0.

Here*s a red letter date in the history of science: March 19, 1955...

He pauses, realizing something — as if something suddenly makes sense to him.

Yes, of course... March 19, 1955...

What happened then?

That was the day I invented time travel. Actually, it was night. I remember it
vividly: I got hit over the head, and when I came to, I had a revelation — a
vision — a picture in my head. A picture of THIS...

Brown points to a particular centerpiece unit mounted inside the DeLorean.

Marty aims the video camera and gets it on tape. He continues taping as Dr. Brown

This is what makes time travel possible: the T.F.C. — Temporal Field

Temporal Field Capacitor, huh? How*d you get beaned?

Well, I was trying to— (stops short, thinking better of it) W ell, it*s not
important. What is important is that it works. It*s taken me over 30 years to
fulfill the vision of that night.

He faces the DeLorean proudly.

Heavy duty, Doc. And it runs on, like, regular unleaded gasoline?

Unfortunately, no. It requires something with a little more kick...
Brown indicates a container with purple radioactivity symbols on it. *

(reads the label)
Plutonium?! You mean this sucker*s nuclear?

Electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 jigowatts of
electricity I need. The T.F.C. stores it, then discharges it all at once, like a
gigantic bolt of lightning. Oh, you*d better put on this radiation suit before I
reload. Not that there*s any danger, but it never hurts to take precautions.

Brown hands him the YELLOW RADIATION SUIT which is near the RV. Marty puts the *
camera down. *

Hold the phone, Doc — plutonium*s illegal. Did you rip it off? *

No, of course not. Here, let me help you with that. *

Brown helps Marty get into the suit.

Put your hood up, Marty, while I reload... and keep Einstein covered, too. *

Marty and Brown both pull their hoods over their heads. Marty covers Einstein with a sheet *
of the same radiation proof material. *

Brown opens the container and removes a 4-inch clear cylinder with a plutonium rod within *
(it*s surrounded by water), then closes the container. *

Brown steps over to the rear of the DeLorean and places the plutonium cylinder into the *
loading hopper. The plutonium rod drops down into the reactor, which then seals shut. *

(removes his hood)
It*s safe now. Everything is lead lined.

Marty removes his hood and releases Einstein. He picks up the video camera and starts *
taping again. *

Oh — I mustn*t forget my luggage...

Brown grabs his suitcase and puts it in the trunk (it *s in the front).

Who knows if they*ll have cotton underwear in the future? I*m allergic to all

Brown slams the trunk shut.

The future? Is that where you*re going?
That*s right. 25 years into the future. I*ve always dreamed of seeing the *
future — looking beyond my years, observing the progress of mankind. It*s *
almost like cheating death. *
(pauses, then smiles wryly) *
I*ll also be able to find out who wins the next 25 World Series. *

Suddenly, Einstein starts BARKING at something.

What is it, Einie?

Brown turns, and reacts with horror to an APPROACHING PAIR OF HEADLIGHTS: it *s an
ominous VAN.

Oh, no — they found me. I don*t know how, but they found me.


The Libyans! *

What Libyans? *

The Libyans who got me the Plutonium! They wanted me to build ‘em a *
bomb — I told ‘em I would, but I lied! *

The van side door slides open and a SWARTHY CHARACTER who resembles Yasser
Arafat leans out with an AK 47 submachine gun. He OPENS FIRE.

Run for it, Marty! I*ll draw their fire!

Brown pulls a .45 revolver from inside his radiation suit and FIRES at the van! He then
breaks for the mall, a good 500 yards away.

The terrorist van SCREECHES around sharply and gives chase. The terrorist FIRES a
machine gun blast. *

Doc — no! Wait!

But Brown keeps running and firing — and the van closes the distance. No way can Brown
outrun it to the mall.

The Terrorist gunner screams a Libyan curse, then FIRES a burst at Brown.
The bullets rip into Brown *s chest and the scientist goes down.

Marty stands frozen in horror, video camera still in hand.
Doc! Oh my God!
(at the terrorists)
You bastards!

As if hearing Marty, the van makes a U-turn: it *s coming for Marty!

Marty looks around. He*s out in the open, and has only one chance: The DeLorean.

Marty dashes for it, even as the van accelerates toward him, and dives into the still open
driver*s door.

24 IN THE CAR 24

Marty swings the door shut, then looks over the array or switches and buttons on the
console with frightened bewilderment: how do you start this thing?

Then he spots the keys in the ignition on the steering column, just like any other car. He
turns it over and shifts into first. He floors it.
Genres: []

Summary Marty joins Dr. Brown in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot where they witness a DeLorean time machine. Dr. Brown explains that they are going to test it, and Marty starts filming. As the car reaches 88 miles per hour, they anticipate something amazing is about to happen.
Strengths "Exciting and suspenseful scene that introduces the concept of time travel and establishes the courage and ingenuity of the main characters."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue feels exposition-heavy and the terrorist chase may feel cliched to some viewers."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene is well-written and engaging. It effectively builds tension and introduces elements of time travel and danger. The dialogue feels natural and reveals important information about the characters and their situation. The action is clear and easy to visualize. Overall, this scene effectively sets up the plot and leaves the audience wanting to know what will happen next.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual description: Instead of just describing the action, try to create a more vivid image for the reader by adding details to the scene. For example, describe the surroundings of the mall, the lighting, the weather, etc.

2. Build suspense and tension: Make the scene more exciting and suspenseful by emphasizing the speed and power of the DeLorean. Use sensory details to convey the intensity of the moment, such as the sound of the engine, the feel of the wind, the blinding light, etc.

3. Develop the characters: Give more depth to the characters' emotions and reactions. Show Marty's shock, disbelief, and concern for the safety of Einstein. Show Doc Brown's excitement and confidence in his invention, but also his caution and concern for their safety.

4. Clarify the dialogue: Make sure the dialogue is clear and easy to understand. Consider simplifying some of the scientific jargon and explaining it in a more accessible way. Also, make sure the characters' voices are distinct and consistent throughout the scene.

5. Add more visual cues: Provide more visual cues to help the reader visualize the actions and movements of the characters. For example, describe how Marty aims the camera, how Doc Brown counts down, the way Marty cautiously approaches the time machine, etc.

6. Create a stronger impact: Make the scene more impactful by focusing on the emotional and dramatic moments. Show Marty's shock and horror when he realizes what has happened to Doc Brown, his desperation when he jumps into the DeLorean, and his determination when he starts the car and speeds away.

7. Show the consequences: Highlight the consequences of the events in the scene. For example, emphasize the danger and urgency of the situation when the terrorists appear, and show the impact of Doc Brown's actions and Marty's decision to get into the car.

8. Improve the pacing: Consider adjusting the pacing of the scene to create a better balance between action, dialogue, and description. Make sure the scene flows smoothly and keeps the reader engaged.

Overall, focus on creating a more dynamic and engaging scene that captures the reader's attention and leaves them wanting to know what happens next.

Scene 9 -  Chase and Time Travel
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
25 EXT. — CHASE 25*

The DeLorean roars off!

The van gives chase.


The speedometer approaches 40.


The Terrorist Gunner leans out of the van and takes aim.


MARTY looks into the side view mirror.


of the Libyan gunner taking aim.


The speedometer climbs past 50.


The gunner FIRES.


Bullets rip into the parking lot just behind the speeding DeLorean.

Marty has the pedal to the metal.

25-J INSERT — The speedometer hits 75. 25-J*

25-K ON MARTY — Marty again checks the side view mirror. 25-K*


The van is still keeping up.


Marty reacts.

Let*s see if you bastards can do 90...


The DeLorean continues accelerating.

The van continues pursuit, but begins to lose ground.


25-Q INSERT — The speedometer passes 85! 25Q*

25-R ON MARTY — Gauges and indicators light up behind Marty*s head, just as they did before 25-R*
Einstein traveled through time — the T.F.C. is about to kick in!

25-S INSERT — The speedometer climbs...86...87...88... 25-S*


The mall parking lot is suddenly changed into an OPEN FIELD with a SCARECROW in the
middle of it!

Marty is speeding toward it at 88 miles an hour — he hits it! The scarecrow*s face is
hideously smashed against the windshield.

Marty continues toward a HAYSTACK! He*s completely disoriented.


The DeLorean speeds right through the haystack, and then into an OPEN BARN.

We hold on the barn exterior — we hear a CRASH; hay and dust are kicked up out the

We hold on the barn. We hear a DOG start BARKING.


A light goes on in the nearby FARM HOUSE. Now, FARMER PA PEABODY, 45, comes
out in his red flannels, carrying a lantern. Behind him is his wife, MA; their buxom 14 year
old DAUGHTER, and lively 11 year old son SHERMAN.

They approach the barn and cautiously enter through the rear doors.


The Peabodys stare in open-mouthed astonishment:

The stainless steel vehicle faces them head on, headlight beams shining through the dust.
With its wheels buried in the straw and amber hazard lights blinking, it looks like a SPACE

The COWS in the barn don*t seem to care much, but Ma and Pa look up at the hole where
the roof caved in, then exchange an uneasy look.

What is it, Pa?

Looks like an airplane.. .without wings...

Airplane? It*s a flying saucer, Pa! From outer space!

The driver*s gull wing door rises slowly... just like a hatch.

Pa motions them all back. They watch expectantly, uneasily, with expressions of curiosity
mixed with fear.

Now Marty steps out, dazed — he*s in the radiation suit, and the HOOD IS DOWN, giving
him the appearance of an alien!

Ma SCREAMS and faints!

Run, children! Run for your lives!

They all run like hell out of the barn!

Marty takes a few steps, then removes the hood.

Hey! Hello? Where am I?

Marty looks around. The cows in the barn just chew their cud.

Marty shakes his head, then steps out the barn door.


Marty steps out into the barnyard.

Excuse me! Anybody here?
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Marty is chased by terrorists in a DeLorean time machine. He reaches 88 mph and travels through time, landing in a barn in the countryside. The local farm family is shocked and mistakes Marty for an alien.
Strengths "The high-stakes chase sequence and the introduction of time travel are engaging and exciting."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more impactful and the character development could be stronger."
Critique The scene you have shared is from the movie "Back to the Future" and it is a pivotal chase sequence. Here are some critiques and suggestions for improvement:

1. Lack of specific visual descriptions: While the scene is still understandable, it would benefit from more specific visual descriptions to help readers and crew members visualize the scene more accurately. Add more details about the surroundings, the lighting conditions, and any important props or set pieces.

2. Formatting and numbering: The scene numbers appear to be inconsistent and non-standard. Make sure to use the generally accepted format for scene headings and numbers.

3. Clearer identification of characters: In order to make it easier for readers to follow the scene, make sure to consistently identify the characters by their names. Instead of using pronouns like "Marty" and "Ma," use their full names to avoid confusion.

4. Dialogue clarity: The dialogue seems to be clear and concise, effectively conveying the characters' reactions and emotions. However, consider adding more specific action or body language to enhance the impact of the dialogue and make it more engaging for the audience.

Overall, the scene effectively captures the tension and excitement of a high-speed chase. With some minor improvements to clarify visual descriptions and character identification, it could become an even stronger sequence.
Suggestions Overall, this scene seems to be paced well and has a good amount of tension and action. However, here are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Clarify the location: Include a brief description of the chase location at the beginning of the scene, such as "EXT. MALL PARKING LOT - DAY." This helps to ground the reader and give them a clear mental image of the setting.

2. Add more description of the action: Throughout the scene, consider adding more specific and vivid descriptions of the actions and movements. For example, instead of just saying "The gunner FIRES," you could add details like "The gunner FIRES a spray of bullets, narrowly missing the speeding DeLorean."

3. Increase tension and stakes: Find ways to heighten the tension and the stakes in the scene. One way to do this could be to add obstacles or challenges that Marty must overcome while driving, as well as concrete consequences for failure.

4. Show Marty's emotions: In moments of high tension, show Marty's emotions and reactions more explicitly. For example, instead of just saying "Marty reacts" in 25-M, you could describe his facial expression, body language, or inner thoughts to convey his fear, determination, or other emotions.

5. Enhance the dialogue: Consider adding more dialogue or character interaction, especially when Marty steps out of the DeLorean in the barnyard. This can help further develop the characters and add depth to the scene.

6. Check formatting and numbering: Make sure the scene headings and numbering are formatted correctly and consistently. Also, double-check that the scene numbers are in sequential order.

By implementing these suggestions, you can make the scene more engaging, suspenseful, and emotionally impactful.

Scene 10 -  Marty Travels to 1955
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

PA busts out of the farmhouse with a double-barreled shotgun. Sherman is right behind
him, with something rolled up in his hand.

Look, Pa — it*s already mutated into human form! Shoot it!

Pa raises his shotgun and FIRES!

Buckshot cracks into the barn wall behind Marty.

Take that, you mutated son-of-a-bitch!

He squeezes off the second barrel!

Shot explodes in the dirt near Marty*s feet! He dashes back into the barn!

Pa breaks the gun and reloads, then moves cautiously toward the barn. Just as he*s about

Pa Peabody jumps back!

The car spins around in the barnyard, and smashes through a white picket fence
surrounding 2 NEWLY PLANTED PINE TREES IN A LINE, just like on the sign at “TWIN *
PINES MALL.” The DeLorean takes out one of the small trees, then finds the dirt access *
road and ROARS AWAY.

You space bastard! You killed one of my pines!

Pa FIRES both barrels at the departing vehicle, then runs over to his “pine grove.”

(extremely upset)
Now I only got one.
Now he looks up and sees Ma coming out of the barn. She*s dazed, rubbing her head.

Ma! Are you all right!

Sherman runs over, terrified, with a rolled up something in his hand.

Pa! No! Don*t go near her! She*s a zombie! She*s got no more free will! The
spaceman took over her brain!

What the hell are you talking*, boy?

Read this! It*s all right here!
Sherman shows him his WEIRD SCIENCE COMIC BOOK: On the cover is a space ship
that resembles a 50*s version of the DeLorean. An alien is stepping out who looks
something like Marty in the radiation suit, and he appears to have enslaved several human
females. The title of the story is “Space Zombies From Pluto.”

Pa looks at it, then glances over at his wife with trepidation.



tears along the dirt road and out onto the MAIN (PAVED)ROAD.

32 OMITTED 32*


The DeLorean pulls into frame and stops. Marty*s gull wing door opens, revealing Marty*s
shocked expression as he sees


BRAND NEW, freshly painted — a MODEL HOME, complete with colored pennants and
“model home” signs... without any landscaping.

Next to it is a LARGE SIGN with an artist*s rendering of an idyllic home, nestled between
magnificent oak trees, with a proud family of four beside their Cadillac. Below, in big block
letters: “Live in the home of! Lyon Estates, scheduled completion, This

Beyond it is vacant land, with some of it graded for construction. There are a few
foundations and perhaps a wood frame or two... and the familiar high tension wires.

35 MARTY 35
is in shock. He looks at the dashboard readouts.


The date on the “Destination time” is Saturday, 3-19-1955, 5:35 a.m.... and that matches
the date on “Present time.” (“Last Time Departed” is 10—5 1985, 1:11 a.m.)

Below, the “Plutonium Chamber” light flashes “EMPTY.”

1955? 1 don*t believe it!

37 He turns on the car radio and tunes in a newscast. 37

...and President Eisenhower predicted that 1955 would see an increase in
housing starts...

Marty spots a page of discarded NEWSPAPER on the sidewalk in front of his house-to-be. *
He gets out of the car and picks it up.


The date is March 18, 1955

39 MARTY 39

This is definitely not my day.

On the back of the newspaper is an AUTOMOBILE ADVERTISEMENT with a picture of a
“new” 1955 Studebaker. The copy clearly says “YOU*LL BE NOTICED driving the car of
the future — the All New 1955 Studebaker.”

Marty looks at the DeLorean, looks again at the ad copy, then looks at the garage door of
his house-to-be.

Why not...?

He tries to open the garage door: it *s locked.

Then he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his KEYS. He tries one in the garage lock. It
works! Marty smiles and opens the garage door.


The DeLorean backs into the garage. *

Marty is about to turn off the car when he hears the RADIO DJ from the car radio. *

And now, one of the top records of the week...

Marty turns up the volume: he wants to hear this. “Papa Loves Mambo” by Perry Como
starts playing. Marty can*t believe what he is hearing. He shakes his head.

This is not a good year.



MARTY walks down the street toward Hill Valley. He*s out of the radiation suit and in his *
street clothes. *


The town square is immediately recognizable because the courthouse clock tower is now
working. In 1955, the town square is a healthy, vibrant center of commerce. The same
buildings are well kept and clean, and the street bustles with Saturday morning activity.
Marty notices

THE MOVIE THEATER is now playing “Cattle Queen of Montana” starring Barbara
Stanwyck and Ronald Reagan.


AN APPLIANCE STORE is selling “modern” small appliances.

A WOMAN *S STORE displays tie latest fashions.

A TRAVEL AGENCY advertises “Fabulous Vacations in Cuba.”

THE BANK has a round clock instead of the digital version of 1985. A sign in the window
promotes “Passbook Savings at 2-1/4%.”

A RECORD STORE displays the latest records and albums: Eddie Fisher, Perry Como, Pat
Boone. There is no Rock and Roll.

AN ELECTION POSTER: “Re-elect Mayor Frank ‘Red* Thomas. Honesty, Decency,
Integrity.” With the exception of the name and face, it *s the same as the “Goldie Wilson”
poster of 1985.

MARTY walks along tie street staring at the places and people. The people stare at him
too, particularly his green shoes.

The previously boarded up CAFÉ is now open for business. Marty notices a PUBLIC
TELEPHONE SIGN on the window: he*s got an idea. He enters.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Marty is chased by terrorists in a DeLorean time machine and travels to 1955, landing in a barn. He is mistaken for an alien by a local farm family.
Strengths "The scene effectively introduces the time travel element and establishes the conflict and high stakes of Marty being chased by terrorists. It also sets up the comedic misunderstanding of Marty being mistaken for an alien. The scene moves the story forward by taking Marty to a new time period and showing the changes that have occurred."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more impactful and the theme could be further explored."
Critique Overall, the scene is engaging and full of action. The dialogue is quick and keeps the momentum of the scene going. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

1. Formatting: The scene description could be formatted more clearly. Instead of using asterisks for emphasis, it would be better to use italics or underline to indicate emphasis. Additionally, the use of all caps for certain phrases can be distracting. It would be better to use standard capitalization for those lines.

2. Clarity: Some of the action in the scene could be described more clearly. For example, when Pa Peabody fires both barrels at the departing vehicle, the shot exploding in the dirt could be described in more detail to better visualize the impact. Additionally, the movement of the characters in relation to each other could be clarified.

3. Character motivation: Pa Peabody's reaction to the arrival of the DeLorean and his belief that his wife is a zombie feels slightly out of character. It would be helpful to provide more backstory or reasoning for his extreme reaction, otherwise it may seem exaggerated or inconsistent with his previous actions.

4. Transition: The transition between the previous scene and the current scene could be smoother. It is not clear why the DeLorean suddenly appears on the road, and it might be beneficial to provide a brief explanation or indication of how it got there.

Despite these points, the scene is engaging and creates a sense of tension and intrigue. The dialogue is realistic and moves the story forward. With a few adjustments, this scene could be even stronger.
Suggestions - Clarify the actions and movements of the characters in the scene. It can be a bit confusing with the quick cuts and movements.
- Develop the dialogue between Pa and Sherman further. Their conversation about the zombie and the comic book feels rushed and could use more depth.
- Provide more context for why Pa and Sherman are so quick to believe that Ma is a zombie. It feels a bit abrupt and random.
- Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene. It will help create a more vivid picture for the reader.
- Show Marty's reaction to his surroundings in 1955 more clearly. It's a big shock for him, so his emotions and disbelief should be highlighted.
- Make sure the transitions between scenes are smooth and logical. The current transitions feel abrupt and could be improved.
- Consider adding more dialogue to Marty's conversations with the people in Hill Valley. It will help establish the differences between 1955 and 1985 more effectively.

Scene 11 -  Marty searches for Dr. Brown
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
43 INT. CAFÉ — DAY 43

A typical café/soda fountain of the period; 2 or 3 CUSTOMERS are at the counter.

Marty stares at the signs advertising menu items: Hamburger — 25 cents. Ham & Cheese
— 30 cents. Chocolate Sundae — 15 cents. A sign over the cigarette display says “All
Brands 20 cents.”

LOU, the counterman, spots Marty.

Lookin* for something, kid?

Uh, the telephone?

Lou points it out, in back: a phone booth.

44 MARTY 44
goes into the phone booth and flips through the directory.

Marty*s finger comes to rest at “Brown, Emmett L. (Scientist).” 1640 Riverside Dr. HIllside *

46 MARTY 46
smiles — just what he was hoping for. The sign on the phone says “Local Calls — 5 cents.”
Marty digs out a nickel and dials the number. It rings...and rings... and rings. No answer.
He hangs up.

Not my day.

He rips the page out. *
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Marty searches for Dr. Brown's contact information and tries to call him.
Strengths "Well-paced, introduces anticipation for finding Dr. Brown"
Weaknesses "Lack of significant conflict"
Critique Overall, this scene is decent but could benefit from some improvements.

- The description of the café is lacking detail. It would be helpful to include more sensory information to create a more vivid picture in the reader's mind. For example, describing the sounds, smells, and atmosphere of the café could enhance the scene.

- The dialogue between Lou and Marty feels a bit bland and generic. It would be beneficial to inject some more personality into their conversation to make it more engaging and reflective of their characters. This could be achieved by giving Lou and Marty distinct voices and adding some subtext or conflict to their interaction.

- The transition from Marty locating the phone booth to him flipping through the directory is abrupt. It would be smoother to show or mention Marty approaching the phone booth before diving into the specific action of him flipping through the directory.

- The use of the "INSERT — DIRECTORY" is unnecessary. Instead of using a separate insert to show the directory, it would be more seamless to describe the action within the scene directly.

- The emotion and internal thoughts of Marty when he doesn't get an answer from his call could be further developed. Adding a line or two to show his disappointment or frustration could help convey his feelings more effectively.

- The last line, "Not my day. He rips the page out," feels a bit abrupt and doesn't provide a satisfying conclusion to the scene. It would be beneficial to find a stronger and more meaningful way to end the scene, perhaps by tying it back to the overall story or character arc.

By incorporating these suggestions, the scene could be strengthened and made more engaging for the reader.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual details to the café/soda fountain to give it a distinct atmosphere. Describe the décor, furniture, and any unique elements that could enhance the setting.

2. Show the interactions between the customers at the counter to create a sense of buzz and activity in the café.

3. Develop Lou's character more to make him memorable. Give him specific traits or quirks that differentiate him from a typical counterman. This could be reflected in his dialogue or actions.

4. Instead of Marty simply staring at the signs, show his emotions or thoughts through his body language or facial expressions. This will make the scene more engaging and reveal his desires or conflicts.

5. When Marty asks Lou for the telephone, include a brief exchange of dialogue that adds depth to their interaction. This could reveal a bit about Marty's personality or establish a friendly rapport between the two characters.

6. Make the discovery of the phone booth more visually interesting. Add some description to highlight its location or appearance in the cafe, making it stand out to the audience.

7. Consider revealing why Marty is looking for Emmett L. Brown (Scientist) earlier in the scene. This would give the audience more context and build anticipation for Marty's phone call.

8. Show Marty's frustration or disappointment more explicitly when there is no answer after he dials the number. This could be reflected in his body language, dialogue, or even a reaction shot.

9. Instead of casually ripping the page out of the directory, show Marty's determination or resolve by tearing it out forcefully. This will emphasize his determination and urgency to make contact with Emmett L. Brown.

10. Consider adding a subtle hint or foreshadowing to the scene that can generate intrigue or curiosity for the audience. This could be a small detail or line of dialogue that hints at a future event or development.

Scene 12 -  Encounter with Biff
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
47 INT. CAFÉ 47

Marty saunters out of the phone booth and takes a seat at the counter. A NERDY
LOOKING KID is seated nearby, sipping a soda and reading a comic book.

Marty looks at Lou, indicating the address on the phone book page. *

Can you tell me where 1640 Riverside— *

You gonna order something, kid? *

Uh, yeah. Gimme a Pepsi Free. *
Kid, if you want a Pepsi, you gotta pay for it.

No, a Pepsi Free — you know, diet soda?

Lou looks at him like he*s from another planet.

No, I don*t know.

Uh, well, just give me something to drink that doesn*t have sugar in it.

Lou gives him a look, then puts a cup of coffee in front of him. Marty looks at the bowl of
sugar cubes in front of him.

Have you got any Sweet ‘N Low?

Sweet and what?
(eyeing him suspiciously)
Say, kid, you*d better pay for this right now.

He pulls out his wallet and gives Lou a crisp, new 20 dollar bill. Lou*s eyes nearly fall out of
his head.

A 20? What do you think this is, a bank? I can*t break a 20 for a nickel cup
of coffee. (suddenly suspicious) Say, what*s a kid your age doing with a 20
dollar bill anyway?

Marty gulps, pulls a nickel out of his pocket and takes back his 20. Lou gives him a look,
then walks away.

Marty raises his coffee cup and just as he*s about to take a sip...

Hey, McFly!


He spins around on his stool.

The voice came from a PUNK, 17; behind him are 3 OTHER PUNKS. The lead punk is
coming right toward Marty... no, he*s stepping over to the NERDY KID next to him.

Uh, hi, Biff, how*s it going?

Yes, the punk is BIFF TANNEN, aged 17! And the nerdy kid is GEORGE McFLY, also 17. *
Biff takes George*s soda and drinks it all. *

Biff*s boys buy cigarettes at the counter. They are MATCH, perpetually chewing a wooden
matchstick; SKINHEAD, who has a crewcut just this side of being bald; and 3-D, who
always wears red-green 3-D glasses.

Marty watches the exchange between Biff and George with utter amazement.

You got my homework finished, McFly?

Well, no. I figured since it *s not due till Monday...

Biff knocks on George*s head.

Hello? Anybody home? Think, McFly, think! I*ve gotta have time to recopy it.
Do you realize what would happen if I turned in MY homework in YOUR
handwriting? I’d get kicked out of school!
(notices Marty staring at him)
What are you lookin’ at, dipshit?

Biff — get a load of his shoes. This dork thinks he*s a leprechaun — he
painted ‘em green!
They all laugh. Biff turns back to George.

So how about my homework, McFly?

Um, okay, Biff, I*ll do it tonight and bring it over first thing tomorrow.

Not too early — I sleep in on Sundays. Oh, hey, McFly — your shoe*s

(looks down, falls for it)

Biff hits him in the chin. He laughs loudly, as do his cronies... and they leave.

Marty, still in disbelief, turns to George.

I don*t believe it. You*re George McFly...?


Your birthday*s August 18th, and your mother*s name is Sylvia?

Uh-huh. Who are you?

I*m a relative of yours. A very distant relative.

A BLACK BUSBOY has been sweeping up in the background, making his way over. He
looks at George. As he talks, we see he has a gold front tooth — it*s GOLDIE WILSON,
aged 22!

Say, what do let that boy push you around for?

Well, uh, he*s bigger than me...

Stand tall, boy. Have some respect for yourself. You let people walk over
you now, they*ll be walkin* over you for the rest of your life. Look at me. You
think I*m gonna spend the rest of my life in this slophouse?

(has heard the remark)
Watch it, Goldie.

(he*s on a roll)
No, sir! I*m gonna make something of myself! I*m going to night school —
I*m gonna be somebody!

That*s right — he*s gonna be Mayor someday.

This is an idea that*s never occurred to Goldie.

Mayor? That*s a good idea! I could run for mayor!

George slips out as the conversation continues.

Ha! A colored mayor! That*ll be the day!

You wait and see, Mr. Carruthers. I*m gonna be mayor.

Just keep sweeping, Goldie.

Now Marty notices that George has left. He goes out after him.

(to himself)
“Mayor Goldie Wilson.” I like the sound of that.


Marty looks around and sees GEORGE bicycling down the street.

George! Hey, George! I want to talk to you!

But George doesn*t hear him. He disappears around a corner.

Marty runs after him.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Comedy"]

Summary Marty encounters Biff Tannen and George McFly in a cafe. Biff bullies George about his homework, and Marty tries to intervene.
Strengths "Character development, comedic moments"
Weaknesses "Lack of high stakes, minimal emotional impact"
Critique Overall, the scene effectively establishes the setting of a café and introduces some key characters. The dialogue between Marty and Lou is engaging, and it provides some insight into Marty's character and the time period. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

First, the scene could benefit from more specific and vivid descriptions of the characters and their actions. Instead of simply describing the Nerdy Looking Kid, it would be helpful to provide more details about his appearance and mannerisms to give the reader a clearer picture. Similarly, adding more physical actions and reactions from the characters would make the scene more dynamic.

The dialogue between Marty and Lou is a bit repetitive, particularly with Marty asking for a drink without sugar multiple times. It could be condensed to avoid unnecessary repetition and make the scene flow more smoothly.

Additionally, the introduction of Biff and George feels a bit abrupt. It would be helpful to provide some context or foreshadowing before their interaction, so the audience has a better understanding of their relationship and dynamics.

Lastly, the conversation between Goldie and George could be more clearly connected to the overall story or theme. As it stands, it feels a bit disjointed and unrelated to the rest of the scene. It would be beneficial to tie this conversation back to Marty's journey or the overarching plot in a more direct way.

Overall, the scene has potential but could benefit from more specific descriptions, tighter dialogue, and better integration of the various interactions and conversations.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Character Development: Add more depth and personality to the characters. Explore their emotions, motives, and desires. Give them unique traits that make them memorable.

2. Dialogue: While the dialogue in this scene is functional, consider making it more engaging and authentic. Add subtext and nuance to the conversations to make them more interesting for the audience.

3. Visuals: Use descriptive language to enhance the visuals in the scene. Create vivid imagery and provide details that make the setting and actions more immersive for the reader.

4. Pacing: Ensure the scene moves at an appropriate pace. Consider trimming unnecessary dialogue or actions to keep the scene concise and impactful.

5. Conflict and Tension: Introduce and develop more conflict and tension between the characters. This will make the scene more engaging and drive the story forward.

6. Foreshadowing: Look for opportunities to foreshadow future events or themes in the scene. This will add depth and dimension to the story.

7. Theme and Tone: Consider how this scene contributes to the overall theme and tone of the movie. Make sure the scene aligns with the intended message or mood of the story.

8. Character Relationships: Explore the dynamics and relationships between the characters in the scene. Show how they interact and how they affect each other's actions and decisions.

Overall, focus on bringing more depth, emotion, and authenticity to the scene while ensuring it serves a purpose in the larger story.

Scene 13 -  Marty Meets Lorraine
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

The homes evoke pleasant nostalgia: front porches and white picket fences.

MARTY comes from around the corner and sees GEORGE*S BIKE parked underneath a
tree. Marty looks around, then spots

GEORGE up in the tree, precariously out on a branch overhanging the street, about 12 feet
up. George has a PAIR OF BINOCULARS trained on a second story window in the house
across the street.

MARTY can*t figure it out. He moves closer for a better view.

GEORGE focuses the binoculars.
of a NAKED GIRL in the 2nd story bedroom window, dressing. *

51 MARTY watches in disbelief as he realizes what George is doing. 51

He*s a peeping tom!

52 GEORGE*S P.O.V. 52
as the girl moves closer to the window.

53 GEORGE tries to move closer, but loses his balance — he tumbles into the street! 53


MARTY watches as George groans, then slowly tries to get up. Now a CAR comes from
around the corner.

George doesn*t see it, but Marty can see that it*s going to hit George.

Dad! Look out!

But George is still dazed. Marty dashes into the street, and in a spectacular flying leap,
knocks him out of the path of the oncoming car.

As Marty moves to avoid the car, the car swerves in the SAME DIRECTION — there*s a
screech of brakes, and the car hits Marty!

George, never one to get involved, grabs his bike and pedals off, leaving Marty lying in the
street, unconscious.



MARTY is lying in bed, lit by ambient light from a doorway. FEMALE HANDS place a cold
compress on the bruise on his forehead. Marty groans and stirs.

Mom? Is that you?

Ssshhh. Everything*s going to be all right.

It sounds like his mother. He opens his eyes. All he can see is her silhouette.

God, what a horrible nightmare. I dreamt I went way back in time...

He starts to sit up.

Take it easy, now... you*ve been asleep for almost 9 hours. *
It was terrible. It was a terrible place to be. The music was awful — they *
didn*t have rock. The cars were ugly. My neighborhood hadn*t been built *
yet, and everything was so weird looking. *

Well, you*re safe and sound, back where you belong, in good old 1955.


She turns on the bedside lamp. It*s the same girl George was spying on, and Marty
recognizes her just as we do...

Oh my God. You*re — you*re my— my—

My name*s Lorraine. Lorraine Baines.

Marty stares at her for a long moment.

But — but you*re so thin!

Just relax, Calvin. You got quite a bruise on your head.

(looks under the blankets)
Uh... where are my pants?

Over there on the chair.
(notices the color of his underwear) *
I*ve never seen red underwear before, Calvin.

Marty covers himself up. *

Calvin? Why are you calling me Calvin?

Well, isn*t that your name — Calvin Klein? It*s written in your underwear.
(suddenly realizing)
Oh — I guess people call you Cal.

No, well, actually people call me Marty.

Well, I*m pleased to meet you, Marty.

She comes over and sits on the bed right next to him. She*s very interested in him.
Mind if I sit here?

(gulps, nervous)
Uh... no...

Marty moves as far away as he can without falling off the bed. He holds the blanket tight
around his waist. She looks at him, fascinated.

That is quite a bruise there...

She gently strokes his bruised forehead... and then runs her hand through his hair. Marty
moves even further — and falls off the bed! He covers himself with the blankets.

Lorraine? Are you up there?

We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.

(to Marty)
It*s my mother! Quick, put your pants back on!

She throws him his pants. *

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Marty wakes up after passing out in the street and realizes he has traveled back in time to 1955. He is cared for by Lorraine, the girl his father was spying on earlier. They have an awkward conversation and Marty realizes he needs to find a way back to his own time.
Strengths "Humorous dialogue, introduction of Lorraine's character"
Weaknesses "Lack of significant conflict or dramatic tension"
Critique Overall, this scene effectively sets up conflict and introduces important character dynamics. Here are some specific critiques and suggestions for improvement:

1. Improve the visual descriptions: While the general description of the setting is decent, it would benefit from more specific and vivid details. Instead of just mentioning "front porches and white picket fences," consider describing the houses in more detail to create a clearer image in the reader's mind.

2. Add more internal thoughts and emotions: In order to provide deeper insights into the characters, it would be helpful to include more internal thoughts and emotions. This will make it easier for the readers to connect with the characters and understand their motivations.

3. Develop the conflict more effectively: The conflict in this scene is centered around George's voyeuristic behavior and Marty's discovery of it. While it's clear that Marty is shocked by what he witnesses, it would be beneficial to further explore his emotional reaction and possible internal struggle about how to handle the situation.

4. Strengthen the action and dialogue: The action and dialogue in this scene are serviceable, but could be more engaging and impactful. Consider adding more specific actions and reactions to heighten the tension and make the scene more visually engaging. Additionally, explore ways to make the dialogue more dynamic and reflective of the characters' personalities and emotions.

Overall, while this scene does a decent job of setting up conflict and introducing key character dynamics, there are areas that could be strengthened to create a more compelling and memorable scene.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively sets up the conflict and introduces the time travel element. However, there are a few suggestions to enhance the scene:

1. Clarify the location: Describe the residential street more specifically, such as the type of neighborhood or the town it is in. This will help create a more vivid setting for the scene.

2. Show Marty's reaction: In the line "Marty can't figure it out," it would be beneficial to show his confusion or surprise rather than simply stating it. This can be done through a brief physical action or facial expression.

3. Build suspense: When George loses his balance and falls into the street, consider adding a moment of tension or suspense by emphasizing the impending danger. This can be done by describing the car approaching with increased speed or the screeching of its brakes.

4. Show George's reaction: After Marty saves him from being hit by the car, show George's immediate reaction. This will help develop his character as well as highlight his lack of involvement and self-centeredness.

5. Smooth transition: The transition from George riding away on his bike to Marty waking up in the darkened bedroom feels abrupt. Consider adding a transition shot or a brief description of the passing of time to create a smoother transition.

6. Show Marty's confusion: When Marty wakes up in the bedroom, show his confusion and disorientation upon realizing he is in a different time. This can be conveyed through his speech or body language.

7. Foreshadowing: When Lorraine mentions Marty's red underwear, it can be used as a subtle foreshadowing moment that hints at the impact Marty's presence will have on the future.

8. Adjust dialogue: Consider adjusting some of the dialogue to sound more natural and conversational, particularly in the interaction between Lorraine and Marty. This will make their conversation feel more authentic.

By implementing these suggestions, the scene can be further enhanced and contribute to the overall effectiveness of the screenplay.

Scene 14 -  Dinner at the Baines' House
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

Marty takes a seat at the dinner table next to Lorraine as MRS. STELLA BAINES, 40 and
pregnant, makes the introductions to the KIDS. The chair at the head of the table is empty. *

That*s Milton, that*s Sally, that*s Toby...


...and next to you there in the playpen is little Joey.

Marty turns and looks with amazement at 11-month old JOEY rattling the bars of his

(whispers to him)
So you*re my Uncle Joey. Get used to those bars, kid.

Oh, yes, little Joey loves being in his pen. He actually cries when we take
him out, so we leave him in there all the time — it seems to make him
happy. Have some meat loaf, Marty.
She hands him a plate of MEAT LOAF. It looks like the same meat loaf he had for dinner in
1985... in fact, the whole dinner is the same!

(calls into the other room)
Sam, would you quit fiddling with that thing and come in here and eat?
(to Milton)
Milton, don*t eat so fast!
(to Lorraine)
Lorraine, you*re not eating enough. Have some mashed potatoes.

No thanks, Mom.

Now gruff SAM BAINES, 45, rolls in a brand new television, on a plywood dolly of his own

Look at this: it rolls. Now we can watch Jackie Gleason while we eat.

Oh boy!

Sam fiddles with the rabbit ears and brings in a rather muddy image of a cigarette

56 ON TV 56

a SURGEON steps out of an operating room, lights up a cigarette, and turns to do a

After facing the tension of doing 3 lung operations in a row, I like to relax by
lighting up a “Sir Randolph.” I know its fine tobacco taste will soothe my
nerves and improve my circulation...

57 SAM 57
Look at that picture: crystal clear! Why would anybody want to go to the
movies when you can see this in your own home — free!

(to Marty, explaining)
Our first television set. Dad picked it up today. Do you have a television?

Uh... yeah... two of ‘em. *

Wow! You must be rich!

Milton, he*s teasing you. Nobody has two television sets. *

“The Honeymooners” has resumed — the classic “Man From Space” episode.
Hey, I*ve seen this one — this is a good one. This is where Ralph dresses
up as “the man from space.”

What do you mean, you*ve seen it? It*s brand new.

I saw it on a rerun.

What *s a rerun?

You*ll find out.

Quiet! I want to hear this!

Marty, I*d like to give your mother a call and let her know you*re all right.

(gives Lorraine a glance)
Uh, well, no — you can*t.

Why not?

Uh — she*s out of town. With my Dad. *
(pulls out the phone book page) *
Could you tell me where Riverside Drive is?
Riverside? Sure, it*s on the east end of town, a block past Maple.
A block past Maple? But that*s Kennedy Drive.
Pardon me?
That*s John F. Kennedy Drive.
Who in the world is John F. Kennedy?
(realizes the problem) *
Never mind.
Mother, with Marty*s parents out of town, don*t you think he should spend *
the night here? I*d hate for anything to happen to him with that bruise on his

She gives him a flirtatious smile.

Marty, Lorraine is right. You must spend the night. You*re our responsibility.

Uh, gee, I don*t know...


And he can sleep in my room.

UNDER THE TABLE, Lorraine puts her hand on Marty*s leg. Marty immediately jumps to
his feet.

Uh, actually, I*ve really gotta be going... *
(he*s backing out, toward the front door)
So, thank you for everything, and I*ll see you all later. Much later.

He turns and hurries out of the house.

Lorraine sighs romantically.


58 OMITTED 58*

59 OMITTED 59*
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Comedy","Romance"]

Summary Marty has dinner with the Baines family, who he realizes are his relatives in 1955. They watch television together and Marty tries to navigate the differences in technology and pop culture. Lorraine flirts with Marty and suggests he spend the night.
Strengths "The scene provides comedic moments and highlights the culture clash between 1950s and 1980s. The dialogue is witty and the character interactions are engaging."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks high stakes and significant character changes. The flirting between Marty and Lorraine feels somewhat forced."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. It effectively introduces the characters and provides some insight into their dynamic and the time period. However, there are a few areas that could use improvement:

1. Description: The scene could benefit from more descriptive language to paint a clearer picture in the reader's mind. For example, instead of just saying "the chair at the head of the table is empty," the writer could describe the size of the table, the type of chairs, and the overall atmosphere of the room.

2. Dialogue: The dialogue is generally realistic and serves to reveal information about the characters and their relationships. However, some of the lines feel a bit on-the-nose, like when Marty whispers to Joey in the playpen. It may be more effective to show Marty's fascination with the bars through his actions rather than having him vocalize it.

3. Pacing: The scene starts off strong with the introductions and the revelation of "little Joey" in the playpen. However, the pacing begins to slow down towards the end when Marty and Lorraine discuss him spending the night. The scene could benefit from tightening up the dialogue and condensing the interaction to keep the momentum going.

4. Visuals: While the scene does a good job of describing the characters and their actions, there could be more visual elements incorporated to enhance the storytelling. For example, instead of just mentioning that Sam rolls in a brand new television, the writer could describe the make and model, as well as the reactions of the characters as they see it.

Overall, with some tweaks to description, dialogue, pacing, and visuals, the scene has the potential to be even more impactful and engaging.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Provide more description: Add more description to set the mood and tone of the scene. For example, describe the atmosphere of the dining room - is it cozy and warm or cold and sterile? This will help the reader visualize the setting better.

2. Show instead of telling: Instead of telling the audience that little Joey loves being in his playpen, show it through his actions. Describe how he interacts with the bars, how he reacts when taken out of the playpen, etc. This will make the scene more dynamic and engaging.

3. Add conflict: Introduce a conflict in the scene to create tension and keep the audience engaged. For example, when Marty asks Joey to get used to the bars, have Stella react defensively and explain why they have to keep Joey in the playpen. This will add depth to the characters and create a more interesting dynamic.

4. Develop the characters: Give the characters more personality and depth. For example, when Lorraine suggests that Marty spend the night, show Marty's internal conflict. Is he attracted to Lorraine but hesitant because of his mission? Explore his thoughts and emotions to make the audience connect with him on a deeper level.

5. Streamline dialogue: Some of the dialogue can be trimmed to make it more concise and natural. Simplify the exchanges to make them flow smoothly and eliminate unnecessary repetition.

6. Clarify the action: In the action lines, be clear and specific about the characters' movements and reactions. This will make the scene easier to visualize for the reader.

7. Consider pacing: Look for opportunities to tighten the scene and make it more concise. Remove any unnecessary dialogue or action that doesn't contribute to the overall story or character development. This will help maintain the momentum of the script.

Overall, focus on creating a more engaging and compelling scene by adding conflict, developing characters, and improving the pacing and dialogue.

Scene 15 -  Doc Brown's Invention
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8

The house at 1640 Riverside Drive is spectacular, the home of a very wealthy man. *

Marty ogles it as he walks up to the front door. He checks the address against the page he
ripped out of the phone book: it checks.

All the lights are on — a PARTY is going on inside. Marty rings the doorbell.

It*s answered by DR. BROWN, aged 35. Brown is dressed in evening clothes, and is *
flanked by TWO LOVELY GIRLS. *


Hiya, kid. Looking for somebody?

Uhhh, Dr. Brown — yeah, you ARE Dr. Brown... Boy, am I glad to see you. *

Do I know you, kid? *
Well, not exactly — that is, not yet. My name*s Marty — Marty McFly. Now *
what I*m about to say is going to sound incredible, but you*re the only man *
on earth who*ll believe it...
(he takes a deep breath)
I*m from the future.

(smiles) *
Great sales pitch, kid — terrific. So what are you selling? Floor wax? *

No, I*m serious! You*ve gotta believe me! You*re the only one who can get *
me back home! *

Get you back home? Kid, I think you got me confused with the Wizard of Oz. *

Look, I can prove I*m from 1985! *

Marty pulls out his wallet and starts showing the contents to Brown. *

See this? My driver*s license — expires 1987. Look at my birthdate — I *
haven*t even been born yet.
(pulls out a 20 dollar bill)
Look at this money: “Series 1981.”
(pulls out a color snapshot)
Here*s a picture of me, my sister, and my brother. Look at her sweatshirt: it
says “Class of ‘84.”

Brown gives it all a cursory look, particularly the snapshot.

Oh, I get it — you*re selling trick film. This is great — it really looks like the *
guy*s got no head. Very clever. *


Brown hands it back to Marty. Marty looks at it. *


Sure enough, the image of Dave in the photo has no head. It*s not torn, or rubbed off —
the figure genuinely is headless.


Marty stares at it, unable to figure it out.
I*d buy a roll, but I*m not much of a photographer.

Doctor Brown, this is no trick. I really am from the future.

Brown rolls his eyes.

Well then, tell me something, young man from the future: who*s the
president of the United States in 1985?

Ronald Reagan.

Brown and the girls burst out laughing.

That*s a good one! The kid *s a riot! A regular riot!
(pulls out his wallet)
Here*s 5 bucks, kid! Thanks for the laughs!

He hands Marty a five, then closes the door.

Marty sighs, then walks around the side of the house and looks in the window.


The PARTY is an eclectic collection of SOCIETY TYPES, COLLEGE TYPES, BEAT
GENERATION TYPES, and lots of attractive W OMEN.

Brown wanders over to the best looking WOMAN in the place. Brown whispers into her ear.
She responds by hitting him in the head with a BEER BOTTLE! Brown goes down, dazed.

She walks off in a huff.

Brown rubs his head... then his eyes open wide in the same crazed expression we *ve seen
in 1985.

Of course. Of course! It*s so obvious!
(jumps to his feet, shouts)
All right, the party*s over! Everybody go home! I have work to do!

The guests exchange looks.

Go home! Everybody out! I need quiet!

Some of the guests begin to leave.


Marty realizes what has just happened. He gets an idea.
61 61*
Thru OMITTED Thru*
63 63*

It*s a large closed garage, with a PACKARD CONVERTIBLE and a large work area, *
organized and well-kept. *
A clock shows the time is 12:45. *

BROWN is hunched over his workbench, furiously scribbling down notes and plans. He*s
disheveled — he*s been here for a while.

Brown *s DOG is sitting near its “bed.” The name on the dog dish is “COPERNICUS.”
Copernicus suddenly reacts to something...

MARTY appears at a partially open WINDOW. He opens it the rest of the way and climbs

Doc, listen, you gotta hear me out—

Get lost kid! I*m working! *

I know! And I know what you*re doing — you*re inventing time travel. It
came to you in a vision when you got hit over the head with that beer bottle.
And that thing you*re drawing is the T.F.C. — the Temporal Field Capacitor!

Brown is totally astonished.

My God. How did you know that?

I told you — I*m from the future.

With that, he walks over to the garage door and raises the overhead door, revealing THE
DELOREAN sitting there in the driveway.

Brown *s mouth falls open as he stares at it — and the mechanism visible through the open
gull wing door. He grabs the DRAWING he*s been working on and runs over to the
DeLorean to compare it.

It*s a DRAWING OF TIE T.F.C.! It matches the real thing perfectly.

Genres: ["Comedy","Science Fiction"]

Summary Marty arrives at Dr. Brown's house and tries to convince him that he is from the future, but Brown does not believe him. Marty then witnesses Brown getting hit on the head by a woman at the party. Suddenly, Brown has a revelation and tells everyone to leave. Marty sneaks into Brown's garage and reveals that he knows about Brown's invention, the Temporal Field Capacitor. Brown is amazed and compares Marty's drawing to the actual DeLorean time machine in his garage, finding them to be identical.
Strengths "The scene introduces the iconic DeLorean time machine and showcases the relationship between Marty and Doc Brown, highlighting their differences and potential for collaboration. The comedic elements add entertainment value."
Weaknesses "The scene may rely heavily on dialogue and exposition, which could make it feel less visually engaging compared to other scenes."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, here are some critiques for the scene:

1. Clear description: The scene starts with a clear exterior description of Dr. Brown's house, setting the location for the audience. However, there could be more description about the style or architecture of the house to enhance the visuals for the audience.

2. Character introductions: The characters of Marty and Dr. Brown are introduced well, giving us their names and brief descriptions. However, there could be more details to provide a visual image of their appearances. Additionally, the two lovely girls flanking Dr. Brown are mentioned, but there is no further description or indication of their importance to the scene.

3. Dialogue: The dialogue between Marty and Dr. Brown is engaging and carries the story forward. It reveals important information about Marty's situation and his need for Dr. Brown's help. However, some of the dialogue could be tightened to make it more concise and impactful.

4. Proof of time travel: Marty presents his driver's license, money, and a photo as proof of being from 1985. This is effective in showing evidence, but the impact could be heightened by focusing on one piece of evidence and making it stand out more. Additionally, Marty's reaction to the headless photo could be described more vividly to create a stronger visual for the audience.

5. Comedy beats: The comedic elements in the scene, like Dr. Brown's sarcastic responses and the humor around Ronald Reagan being the president, work well to lighten the tone. However, it might be helpful to pace the comedy beats for better comic timing during the exchange between Marty and Dr. Brown.

6. Transition: The transition from Dr. Brown's door being closed to Marty discovering him in the garage could be smoother. It would benefit from a clearer transition or reason for Marty to check the garage, rather than it feeling like a sudden jump in location.

7. Discovering the time machine: The moment of Dr. Brown's astonishment when he sees the DeLorean and the comparison of his drawing to the real thing is an exciting turning point in the scene. However, the description could be more detailed to emphasize the significance and impact of this moment.

Overall, the scene effectively introduces the dynamic between Marty and Dr. Brown and sets up the discovery of the time machine. With some adjustments to description and dialogue, the scene could be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual details: Instead of simply stating that the house is "spectacular", give specific details that paint a vivid picture for the reader, such as the size, architecture, and landscaping.

2. Provide clearer character descriptions: Instead of simply stating that Dr. Brown is aged 35, give a more detailed description of his appearance and demeanor to help readers visualize him better.

3. Enhance character interactions: Show more physical actions or reactions to help convey emotions and create a more dynamic scene. For example, Marty could nervously fidget with his hands or Dr. Brown could raise an eyebrow or smile wryly during their conversation.

4. Cut unnecessary dialogue: Trim down repetitive or unnecessary dialogue to make the scene more concise and impactful. For example, Marty's repetition of "not exactly" when introducing himself could be eliminated.

5. Show Marty's desperation: Add more urgency to Marty's pleas to Dr. Brown, emphasizing his desperation to go back to the future. This will help readers understand the stakes and make his attempts to convince Dr. Brown more compelling.

6. Use visual cues: Instead of stating that Marty pulls out his wallet and shows the contents to Brown, use visual cues to show Marty's actions. For example, Marty could nervously fish out his wallet from his pocket and quickly flip it open to reveal his driver's license, creating a more visual and engaging moment.

7. Create a stronger reaction from Dr. Brown: Instead of having Dr. Brown give Marty's evidence a cursory glance, make him more intrigued and curious. Show him examining each item carefully, maybe even double-checking Marty's birthdate or inspecting the money closely, to create a sense of doubt or realization.

8. Build tension: Increase the tension in the scene by adding more suspenseful moments. For example, when Marty looks through the window and sees Dr. Brown getting hit with the beer bottle, heighten the tension by having Marty react in shock or concern.

9. Clearly establish Marty's goal: Make it more explicit that Marty's goal is to convince Dr. Brown to help him go back to the future. This will provide a more clear and defined objective for the scene and increase the audience's investment in Marty's mission.

10. End with a cliffhanger: Instead of cutting to the next scene, leave the audience hanging by ending the scene with Marty revealing the DeLorean and Dr. Brown's shocked reaction. This will create anticipation for the next scene and keep the audience engaged.

Scene 16 -  Discovering the Power Source
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

The DeLorean is now in the garage; the garage door is closed. The 1985 suitcase is open,
and we can see its contents — clothes, toilet articles, and a CONAIR (battery) HAIR
MARTY is busily attaching the video camera into a 1953 model TV.

Okay, Doc. Take a look at this... *

Brown comes over and Marty rolls the tape he shot in the mall parking lot where Brown is
explaining the operation of the time machine.

Brown is amazed to see himself as a man of 65.

Why — that*s me! I*m an old man! Incredible! Thank God I*ve still got my
hair... baldness runs in my family, you know. But what on earth am I

A radiation suit!

Of course, because of all the fallout from the Atomic wars. And what*s that
thing around my neck?

Indian jewelry.

I’m not even gonna ask.

66 ON TV 66

The part of the tape comes up about the Plutonium. We see the image of the Plutonium
cannister with old Dr. Brown next to it.

(V.O. tape)
Plutonium? You mean this sucker*s nuclear?

(on TV)
Electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 jigowatts of
electricity I need...

67 YOUNG BROWN is taken aback. 67

1.21 JIGOWATTS? Kid, you*re outta gas, going no place fast.


Look, I*m sure that in 1985, plutonium is available in any corner drug store.
But in 1955, it’s a little hard to come by. And unless you figure on driving out
into a nuclear test site while an A-bomb*s going off, I*m afraid you*re stuck
But isn*t there some other way to generate that kind of power?

1.21 jigowatts? Oh, sure. We can tie into Hoover Dam with a very long
cable. Or we build a turbine on the back of this thing and you can drive it
over Niagara Falls. Or you can drive across the country at 88 miles an hour
and hope that you get struck by a bolt of lightning.

Lightning! Hold the phone, Doc — check this out!

Marty pulls out the “Save the Clock Tower” flyer from his pocket (with it is the mysterious
“headless snapshot” we saw earlier). Marty shows the flyer to Brown.


It includes a photocopy of a NEWSPAPER ARTICLE, dated March 27, 1955, with a picture
of the clock tower stopped at 10:02.” The headline: “CLOCK TOWER STRUCK BY


Brown reads it, nodding. He*s getting an idea.

Kid, if this is true, we just might be able to get your ass back to the future!
It*s totally insane, but it*s certainly no crazier than building a nuclear reactor
onto the back of a car... According to this, we know the exact moment
lightning will strike a specific spot — at 10:02 p.m. and 11 seconds on next
Saturday. All I have to do is rig up a conducting system that*ll channel the
lightning directly into the T.F.C. As long as you*re doing 88 miles an hour
when it happens... See you later, alligator.

But Marty isn*t paying attention. He*s looking at the snapshot again, and he*s quite

What *s wrong, kid?

I don*t know, but something weird is going on with this picture. My brother —
he*s fading out...

Lemme see that...

Brown studies it. He too reacts with concern.


Indeed, more of Dave has faded away — his neck is gone, along with part of his shoulders.

It looks like he*s being erased or something...

Erased from existence...
(to Marty, urgently)
Kid — we *ve gotta get you some new clothes!

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Marty shows Dr. Brown a video tape of himself explaining the time machine operation in the future. Brown is amazed to see his older self and curious about the radiation suit and Indian jewelry he's wearing. They discuss the need for a nuclear reaction to generate power and how it's difficult to come by plutonium in 1955. Marty suggests using lightning as a power source, which Brown finds intriguing. They come up with a plan to harness the lightning on Saturday at 10:02 PM. Meanwhile, Marty notices his brother fading away in a snapshot and expresses concern.
Strengths "The scene effectively introduces the concept of using lightning as a power source and sets up the plan to harness it. The dialogue between Marty and Dr. Brown is engaging and reveals their resourcefulness and determination to find a way back to the future. The tension is heightened by Marty's realization that his brother is fading away in the snapshot."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the excitement and impact of the concept. The theme of family and the potential consequences of altering the past could be explored more deeply."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively conveys important information and progresses the story. The dialogue between Marty and Brown helps to explain the plot and establish the urgency of finding a solution. The introduction of the lightning strike as a potential solution is well set up through the "Save the Clock Tower" flyer and the newspaper article.

However, there are a few areas where this scene could be improved. Firstly, the action lines could be more descriptive and engaging. For example, instead of simply stating that Marty is "busily attaching the video camera into a 1953 model TV," the action could be described in a more visual and dynamic way.

Additionally, the dialogue exchanges between Marty and Brown could be tightened to make them more concise and impactful. Some of the lines feel a bit repetitive, such as when Marty asks if there is another way to generate the power and Brown responds with a list of options. This repetition could be eliminated to make the scene more efficient.

Finally, the emotional reactions of Marty and Brown to the snapshot fading away could be further explored and heightened. This moment is significant for the characters, as it symbolizes the potential erasure of Marty's brother from existence. Adding more emphasis on their emotional distress can create a stronger impact for the audience.

Overall, this scene effectively moves the story forward and introduces important plot points. With some adjustments to the action lines, dialogue exchanges, and emotional beats, it could become even more dynamic and engaging.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description: In the scene description, provide more details about the setting and atmosphere of the garage. This will help set the tone and enhance the visuals for the reader.

2. Clarify actions: In some instances, the actions of the characters are not clear. Add more specific details to convey their movements and gestures, such as Marty attaching the video camera or Marty pulling out the flyer from his pocket.

3. Show reactions: Include more reactions from the characters to emphasize their emotions and feelings. For example, describe Marty's excitement as he shows the video to Doc and Doc's astonishment as he realizes he has aged.

4. Develop dialogue: Consider adding more dialogue or expanding on existing lines to provide more depth and dimension to the characters. This can help reveal their personalities and motivations. Also, make sure the dialogue flows naturally and is true to each character's voice.

5. Increase tension: The scene could benefit from a higher level of tension, especially as Marty discovers that his brother is fading away in the snapshot. Heighten the urgency and concern of both Marty and Doc to highlight the stakes involved.

6. Use visual elements: Find opportunities to incorporate visual cues or props that further enhance the storytelling. For example, instead of just mentioning the 1985 suitcase, describe it in a way that adds texture and adds to the character's journey.

Overall, focus on creating a visually engaging and emotionally resonant scene that advances the plot and character development.

Scene 17 -  Repairing the Damage
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8

Hill Valley High looks pretty much the same in 1955, but with a little less graffiti. There is
not much activity in front — school is in session.

BROWN*S PACKARD pulls up and DR. BROWN and MARTY get out.

Marty is now dressed in total 1955 period garb. He and Brown ascend the school steps.
Marty seems unsure, confused.

Are you sure about this?

Figure it out, kid. Your old man was supposed to get hit by your Grandpa*s
car, not you — therefore, you interfered in your parents* first meeting. If they
don*t meet, they don*t fall in love; if they don*t fall in love, they don*t get
married; if they don*t get married they don*t have kids. That*s why your
older brother*s fading out — he*s being erased from existence. He *s first,
since he*s the oldest. Your sister*ll be next... and then you... unless you
repair the damage by getting your folks back together. Once you introduce
‘em to each other, nature will take its course.
(a beat)
I hope.

Marty pauses to check his reflection in the windowed door. He combs back his slicked
down hair in a ducktail, only to get a handful of “greasy kid stuff.”

I can*t believe you actually put this crap in your hair.

Come on kid, let*s get this over with.

Brown pulls him inside.

on the STUDENTS OF AN ORDINARY 1955 History class, taking a test. LORRAINE can
be clearly seen.

74 MARTY AND DR. BROWN are watching from the HALL. 74

(points her out to Brown)
That*s her — in the 2nd row... Jesus! She*s cheating!
75 THEIR P.O.V. OF 75

LORRAINE, copying an answer from the boy sitting next to her.

76 THE SCHOOL BELL RINGS in the hall. It*s passing period. 76

ANOTHER CLASSROOM DOOR opens and students head out for the next class.
GEORGE McFLY is one of them. His shirt tail is out, his hair is poorly combed, and papers
are practically falling out of his 3-ring binder.

MARTY AND DR. BROWN watch from down the hall.

So which one*s your father?

That*s him...

As GEORGE walks down the hall, students laugh at him behind his back, and some of the
boys kick him in the ass.

George turns. He has a “KICK ME“ sign hooked on his collar. DR. BROW N shakes his
head at this pathetic sight.

(to Marty)
Are you sure you*re not adopted?

Now a hand yanks George by the arm: MR. STRICKLAND — and he looks exactly the
same! Marty is amazed.

McFly! Shape up, man!

He pulls the sign off George*s shirt and shows it to him.

You*re a slacker! Do you want to be a slacker for the rest of your life?

George shakes his head unconvincingly.

Marty and Brown look down the hall in the opposite direction where

LORRAINE is at her locker, giggling with a girl friend.


Looks like a match made in heaven.

My mom always said it was meant to be. I sure hope she*s right...

Marty takes a deep breath and starts walking toward George.
George! Hey, buddy, you*re just the guy I wanted to see! You remember me
— from Saturday? I saved your life, remember?


Listen, there*s somebody I want you to meet. C*mere...

He pulls him down the hall to Lorraine, who has her back to them.

Excuse me, Lorraine...

Lorraine turns.

Calvin! I mean, Marty!

She*s so delighted to see Marty, she drops her books.

Oh, let me get those...

He picks up her books and gives them back to her. She*s totally infatuated.

Thank you.

Lorraine, I want to introduce you to someone. This is my good friend,
George McFly. George, this is Lorraine.

Hi. It*s really a pleasure to meet you.

Lorraine doesn*t pay George the slightest bit of attention. She only has eyes for Marty.

Oh, Marty, I was so worried about you running off like that the other night
with that bruise on your head. Is it all right?

Um, yeah....


I*m late. See you later.

She hurries off down the hall, joining a girl friend. They pass by Dr. Brown.
(to her friend)
Isn*t he a dreamboat?

George has run off in the opposite direction. Marty stands in the middle of the hall,
completely bewildered.

Brown joins him.

She didn*t even look at him!

Obviously, you being in the picture is a real distraction for her. You*ve got to
get him to ask her out on a date — so they can be alone together.

A date? What kinda date? I don*t know what kids do in the 50*s.

What do they do in the 80*s?

Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll.

No comment, kid.

Brown notices a hand-painted banner in the hall announcing the “Enchantment Under The
Sea Dance” this Saturday night.

Look — there*s a dance coming up. Get him to take her to that.

Marty sees the sign and has a revelation.

That*s right! “Enchantment Under The Sea!” They*re SUPPOSED to go to
that dance — that*s where they kiss for the first time!

Well then, kid, you gotta make sure they go to that dance. Together.


77 OMITTED 77*
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Comedy"]

Summary Marty wakes up in 1955 and realizes he needs to get his parents back together to save his own existence. He has dinner with his relatives and navigates the differences in technology and culture. Marty meets with Dr. Brown and convinces him that he is from the future. They come up with a plan to use lightning as a power source for the time machine. Marty notices his brother fading away in a snapshot and expresses concern.
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Plot development
  • Character interactions
  • Lack of emotional impact
  • Limited character changes
Critique Overall, this scene effectively sets up the conflict and the mission for Marty and Dr. Brown in a clear and concise manner. The dialogue provides necessary exposition to outline the consequences of Marty's actions and the importance of getting his parents together. The humor in Marty's comment about the "crap" in Brown's hair and Brown's sarcastic response adds a touch of comedy to the scene.

The visual descriptions also help to paint a clear picture of the school environment and the characters' appearances. The inclusion of George being laughed at and bullied further establishes his character and the need for Marty's intervention.

One potential improvement could be adding more emotion and depth to Marty's reaction to seeing Lorraine cheating. This could be achieved through additional dialogue or a physical reaction that shows his concern and determination to fix the situation.

In terms of formatting, it is generally recommended to omit camera angles and focus on describing the action and dialogue. Additionally, some of the abbreviations and formatting choices can be simplified for clarity.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual description: The scene could benefit from more visual description to help the reader visualize the setting and characters.

2. Shorten the dialogue: Some of the dialogue feels a bit lengthy and could be condensed to make it more concise and impactful.

3. Include more action: Adding more action to the scene, such as characters interacting with their surroundings or moving around the space, can make the scene more dynamic.

4. Show character emotions: It would be helpful to include more indications of the characters' emotions throughout the scene, especially Marty's confusion and Brown's seriousness.

5. Build tension: The stakes of the scene could be heightened by adding more tension, for example, by showing Marty's growing desperation to fix the situation and the potential consequences if he fails.

6. Consider the pacing: The scene could benefit from a faster pace, with shorter and more succinct dialogue exchanges, to keep the reader engaged.

7. Develop character relationships: Take the opportunity to further develop the relationship between Marty and Brown through their interactions and reactions to the events unfolding.

8. Show, don't tell: Look for opportunities to show the audience information through actions and visuals instead of relying solely on dialogue. For example, instead of Marty simply pointing out Lorraine, show her cheating on the test and Marty's reaction.

9. Provide more context: Consider adding some context or explanation to certain parts of the dialogue, such as why Marty's brother is fading out or why the Enchantment Under The Sea dance is significant. This will help the reader better understand the stakes and the importance of the characters' actions.

10. Enhance the ending: The scene could benefit from a stronger ending, perhaps with a cliffhanger or a hint at what's to come to keep the reader invested in the story.

Scene 18 -  George's Creative Struggle
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

GEORGE is seated at a table, having lunch and writing furiously. He has a copy of *

MARTY comes over and sits down next to him. *
Hi, George. What are you writing? *

Stories. *

Yeah? What kind of stories? *

Science fiction stories... about space travel... and visitors from other planets *
coming to earth. *

I never knew you did anything creative. How about letting me read one of *
‘em? *

Oh, no. I never let anybody read my stories. *

How come? *

What if they didn*t like ‘em? What if they told me I was not good? I couldn*t *
take that kind of rejection. *

Marty’s having a bad case of deja vu. *

(continuing) *
My father*s always telling me that if I never let anyone read my work, I*ll *
have no future as a writer. I know he*s right... but I guess that*s just the way *
I am. *
(a beat) *
This must be pretty hard for you to understand, huh? *

No, George, it *s not that hard at all. *

There is a long moment as Marty looks at George in a new light... and sees himself. *

Listen, George, you know that girl I introduced you to? Lorraine? She really *
likes you. And I think you should ask her to the “Enchantment Under The *
Sea” dance. I think you*d have a great time with her. *

Well, I really couldn*t ask her. *

Why not? *

What if she says “no?” I*d hate to be rejected. *
Marty is starting to get exasperated.

George, I*m telling you, if you don*t ask Lorraine to that dance, you*re
gonna regret it for the rest of your life... and I*m gonna regret if for the rest
of mine.

Well, it *s not like I don*t want to... It*s just that I kinda think she*d rather go
out with somebody else.



Marty looks and reacts with horror


BIFF is trying to put his hands on LORRAINE. She*s trying to push him away.

Quit pawing me, Biff! Leave me alone.

Come on, Lorraine, You want it, you know you want it, and you know you
want me to give it to you.

Shut your filthy mouth! I*m not that kinda girl!

Maybe you are and you just don*t know it yet.

Get your hands off me!

But Biff persists.

She said to get your hands off her.

Biff turns to find himself facing Marty.

What *s it to you, dipshit? You know, you*ve been looking for—

MR. STRICKLAND approaches behind Marty. Biff sees him and plays it cool.

Since you*re new here, I*ll give you a break. Today. But if you don*t shape
up, I*m shippin* you out.
Biff walks off.

Lorraine looks at Marty and sighs with infatuation.

Oh, Marty, that was wonderful! Thank you.

Oh, yeah. You*re welcome.



Marty is on the phone. *

What do you mean, She*s not your type? It*s destiny, George. You and *
Lorraine are meant for each other. *
(pause, listens) *
Look, I*ll give you 20 dollars if you take her to that dance. 20 whole dollars. *
(sighs, disappointed) *
Okay, George. I*ll see you tomorrow. *
Marty hangs up, exasperated. He pulls out the snapshot again. *


All that*s left of Dave are his feet! *

78-C MARTY reacts uneasily. 78-C*
79 79*
Thru 0MITTED Thru*
81 81*
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary Marty encourages George to pursue his passion for writing, and convinces him to ask Lorraine to the dance. Marty defends Lorraine from Biff's advances.
Strengths "The scene effectively develops the characters of Marty and George, as well as their relationship. It also introduces conflict with Biff and sets up a potential romantic arc for George and Lorraine. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters' motivations and fears."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel somewhat familiar or predictable, as it follows a common narrative structure of a character encouraging another character to pursue their dreams."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively establishes the characters of George and Marty and their relationship. The dialogue flows well and is natural-sounding. It also effectively sets up the conflict and potential growth for George as a character.

One improvement that could be made is to provide more visual details in the scene description. For example, instead of simply stating that George is "writing furiously," specific actions or expressions could be included to show his passion and determination. Additionally, more specific details about the cafeteria setting, such as the noise and atmosphere, could be added to create a more vivid picture in the reader's mind.

The character of Marty could also be developed further. While the dialogue conveys his concern for George, it would be beneficial to include more physical actions or reactions to show his emotions and deepen his characterization.

In terms of the dialogue, it effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations. However, a few lines could be refined for more clarity and impact. For example, George's line about not letting anyone read his stories could be condensed to make it more concise and powerful.

The ending of the scene, with Marty standing up to Biff and Lorraine showing infatuation towards Marty, provides a satisfying resolution to the set-up of George's hesitation to ask Lorraine to the dance. This moment could be further emphasized through Marty's actions or expressions to show the impact of his words.

Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but adding more visual details and refining some dialogue would enhance its effectiveness.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. However, here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual details: Provide more visual descriptions to paint a clearer picture of the setting and characters. For example, describe the cafeteria in more detail, such as the sounds of students chatting and the smell of food.

2. Show George's passion for writing: Instead of just stating that George is "writing furiously," show his excitement and enthusiasm as he scribbles down his ideas. Use action and body language to convey his excitement and dedication to his craft.

3. Develop the relationship between Marty and George: Show more interaction between the two characters before Marty asks about George's stories. This will help establish their friendship and make Marty's decision to support George more meaningful.

4. Add subtext and depth to Marty's dialogue: Instead of stating outright that Marty has a sense of deja vu, show his realization through his facial expressions or a subtle pause in his dialogue. This will add depth to his character and make the scene more engaging.

5. Explore the themes of fear and rejection more deeply: George expresses his fear of rejection, but it could be further explored. Try adding more dialogue or a moment of vulnerability where George opens up about his insecurities and fear of judgment.

6. Provide clearer transitions between scenes: Use transitions or scene headers to indicate the location changes more clearly. This will help the reader easily follow the flow of the story.

7. Consider adding more conflict: While the scene highlights George's fear of rejection, it could benefit from additional conflict to keep the audience engaged. For example, Marty could face some consequences as a result of his decision to stand up to Biff.

By implementing these suggestions, the scene can be further enhanced with more visual details, character development, and conflict, making it more engaging for the audience.

Scene 19 -  Bringing George Out of His Shell
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Brown is fiddling with the video camera, playing the end section of the mail tape over his *
TV set. Brown seems particularly curious about what happens at the end, why it cuts off so *
abruptly. *

MARTY enters as the tape reaches the end...

83 ON TV 83

OLD BROWN reacts to the dog barking.

(on TV)
What is it, Einie?
(reacting with horror)
Oh, no, they found me! I don*t know how—

The tape ends abruptly.
84 MARTY reacts with pain, remembering what followed. 84

Say, Doc—

Brown turns, surprised that Marty has been watching. *

Oh, hi, kid.
(indicates video camera)
Fascinating device, this camera. I can*t believe it*s made in Japan.

Doc, there*s something I haven*t told you about what happens... (gulps)
...on the night we make that tape...

Hold it right there, kid. Don*t tell me anything, I don*t want to take any more
chances of screwing up the space-time Continuum. No man should know
too much about his own destiny. If I know too much about the future, I could
endanger my own existence. Besides, I*ve always hated fortune tellers.
(a beat)
And speaking of endangered species, how did it go today with your pop?

Terrible. He just doesn*t want to go out with my mom. I tried everything. I
reasoned with him, begged him, pleaded with him, yelled at him... I even
tried bribing him. The only thing I haven*t tried is scaring him—

Marty stops short. He*s getting an idea...



All is quiet; the house is dark.


Close ON A CLOCK on the nightstand. It*s almost 1:30. We PAN OVER to GEORGE*S
FACE. He*s sleeping soundly, in bed.

ears. George doesn*t stir.

THE HANDS now insert a cassette tape labeled “VAN HALEN” into a Walkman. A finger
dials the volume level to “10,” then presses “PLAY.”

GEORGE AWAKENS SCREAMING! He opens his eyes and reacts in further terror: He
sees A FRIGHTENING YELLOW MONSTER... Marty, in full radiation suit... at the foot of
his bed!


Marty turns off the music. When he talks, his voice is distorted through the mouth filter in
the hood. An open window indicates how Marty got in.

Silence, Earthling!

Who — who are you?

(imitating Darth Vader)
My name is Darth Vader. I am an extra-terrestrial from the planet Vulcan.

I must be dreaming...

This is no dream! You are having a Close Encounter of the Third Kind! You
have reached the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone!

Mom! Dad!

George throws off the covers, but Marty pulls the portable hair dryer (from Brown *s
suitcase) out of his belt like a gun. He fires a blast of heat at George.

Silence! My heat ray will vaporize you if you do not obey me!

George raises his hands in surrender.

All right! I surrender! Turn it off!

Marty lowers it. Now his digital watch alarm begins BEEPING. Marty raises his wrist as if it
were a radio.

Silence! I am receiving a transmission from the Battlestar Galactica!
(after several more beeps)
You, George McFly, have created a rift in the space-time continuum. The
Supreme Klingon hereby commands you to take the female earth-person
called “Baines Lorraine” to the location known to you as Hill Valley High
School exactly 4 earth cycles from now — Saturday night in your language.

You mean, take Lorraine to the dance?


But I don*t know if I*ll be able—

Marty turns on the Walkman again. George SCREAMS!
Turn if off! Please, turn it off!

Marty turns it off.

Insolent Earthling! Do you wish me to melt your brain?

No! Please! I*m sorry, I*ll do it! I*ll take her to the dance — but please don*t
turn that noise on again.

Very good, Earthling. You will tell no one of this visit. Now, close your eyes,
and see me no more....

Okay, Okay.

George closes his eyes.

Marty holds a vial under George*s nose and George passes out. Marty removes the
featherweight headphones from George*s head, takes off his hood, and goes back out the


Marty climbs down a trellis and jumps down into Dr. Brown*s waiting Packard convertible. *

How*d it go?

Great! That chloroform sure put him out — I hope I didn’t overdo it.

Genres: ["Science fiction","Comedy"]

Summary Marty uses a clever plan to scare George into taking Lorraine to the dance, ensuring his parents' meeting and his own existence.
Strengths "Clever and inventive plot development, strong character moments"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue feels clunky or forced"
Suggestions Overall, this scene seems to be well-written and engaging. However, here are a few suggestions to enhance it:

1. Clarify the purpose of Marty entering the garage. Is he specifically looking for Brown, or does he stumble upon him by chance? This would give the scene more purpose and context.

2. Consider adding more visual details to enhance the reader's understanding of the scene. For example, describing the clutter in the garage or the specific actions Brown takes with the video camera could add depth to the scene.

3. Add more tension and suspense leading up to the reveal of the scary prank Marty plans for George. This could include Marty rehearsing his lines or showing some nerves before executing the prank.

4. Consider cutting down on some of the dialogue, particularly the line about the camera being made in Japan. While it may provide some characterization for Brown, it does not contribute much to the overall plot or character development.

5. Explore the potential emotional impact of Marty remembering what followed the scene on the tape. How does it affect him? This could be a moment to delve deeper into Marty's emotional journey.

6. Consider adding more physical actions to the characters in the scene. This could include gestures, facial expressions, or movement around the space. It would help to bring the scene to life and make it more visually engaging.

7. Clarify the transition between Marty watching the video tape and Marty getting an idea to prank George. The connection between these two moments could be made more explicit and seamless.

8. Provide more visual cues to set the tone and atmosphere of the scene. This could include describing the lighting, sound effects, or any props that contribute to the overall mood of the scene.

By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance the scene and make it more engaging and impactful for the audience.

Scene 20 -  George's Awkward Ask
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

MARTY is 1oitering in the grassy town square. Now GEORGE comes running up from the
street. He*s disheveled and wild-eyed.

(spots him)
George! You weren*t at school. Where*ve you been all day?

I just woke up — I overslept. Look, you*ve gotta help me! I want to ask
Lorraine out, but I don*t know how to do it.

All right, keep your pants on. She*s over there in the café, having a soda.
Come on...

They head across the street toward the CAFÉ — it *s the local teen after school hangout.
TWO KIDS on homemade scooters (roller skates nailed to a 2 x 4 with an orange crate on
top) cruise down the sidewalk past them.

Marty points through the café window.

Look, there she is.


LORRAINE, seated with 2 GIRLFRIENDS (BETTY and BABS) in a booth, sipping ice
cream sodas and talking.


It*s simple, George. You just go in there and invite her.

All right. but what do I say?

Say whatever feels natural — whatever comes to your mind.

George thinks about this a moment, then shrugs.

Nothing*s coming to my mind.

Christ, it*s a miracle I was even born.


Nothing. Just tell her destiny has brought you to her and you think she*s the
most beautiful girl you*ve ever seen. Girls like to hear that — what are you
doing, George?

George has taken out pencil and paper and is writing.

I*m writing it down. This is good stuff.

91 INT. CAFÉ — DAY 91

The place is really jumping — it*s full of kids. A JUKEBOX is playing.

Marty enters with George.

There she is. Just go and ask her.

Marty points George in the right direction, and takes a stool at the counter, out of
Lorraine*s immediate view.

George looks at his “script” and mouths the words to himself. He gets up his nerve and *
approaches Lorraine. Despite his awkwardness and fear, there*s something endearing *
about him, like a lost dog. *

Uh, Lorraine...
“My density has brought me to you.”

I beg your pardon?

Oh — what I mean to say is...

(looks at him curiously)
Haven*t I seen you somewhere?

(big smile)
Yes! I*m George. George McFly. I*m your density — I mean, destiny.

Lorraine giggles with her girl friends.

We hear the sound of the door being thrown open and a familiar VOICE calls to George.

McFly, I thought I told you never to come in here!

George turns and sees Biff and his gang standing there. He shudders.

Marty drops his head in his hands and sighs.

Well, it *s gonna cost you, McFly. How much money you got on you?

(quickly pulls out his wallet)
How much do you want, Biff?

As Biff starts to walk toward George, Marty sticks out his leg and TRIPS HIM! Everyone in
the malt shop laughs, but Biff doesn*t think it*s very funny. Now Biff sees who tripped him.

(getting up)
All right, wise ass, it*s fat lip time...

Marty jumps off his stool, ready for action. Biff throws a punch which Marty easily avoids;
then Marty delivers a left jab to Biff*s gut, and slams a right into his face, sending Biff *
reeling backward into a table.
Match, 3-D and Skinhead rush Marty.

Marty doesn*t like the odds. He bolts out.

The 3 guys pull Biff to his feet and they all run out after Marty.

(to her girlfriends)
That*s Calvin Klein! Oh, God, he*s a dream!


Marty dashes down the street, followed by Biff and the boys. Most of the kids in the café
hurry outside to watch, including LORRAINE and her friends.

Marty looks behind him — Biff and company are gaining. Then one of the kids on the
scooters comes by. Thinking quickly, Marty yanks the scooter out from under him, kicks off
the orange crate and creates a homemade SKATEBOARD! Marty hops on it and sails off
down the sidewalk!

Biff and the boys have never seen anything like it — nor has the kid whose scooter it was!
Everyone stares as Marty whizzes down the sidewalk.

Wow! Look at him go!

What is that thing?

(to his boys)
In the car!

Biff and the gang jump into Biff*s convertible park ed nearby. Biff peels out after Marty.


Marty looks over his shoulder and sees the convertible closing in. He cuts a sharp turn into
the street, crossing right in front of Biff*s car, and heads back in the opposite direction.


Biff and the boys are stunned! *


Another car comes up from behind Marty. As it passes, Marty grabs onto the back and
hooks a ride!

Biff cuts a U-Turn and continues the pursuit.
Genres: ["Comedy","Romance"]

Summary George enlists Marty's help to ask Lorraine out. Marty gives him advice and George tries his best to follow it. Biff interrupts and a fight ensues. Marty uses a clever escape plan, impressing Lorraine and her friends.
  • Humor
  • Action
  • Lack of character development
Critique Overall, the scene effectively establishes the characters and their relationships, as well as sets up the conflict between George and Biff. The dialogue feels natural and the pacing of the scene is good.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. For instance, the action and physical movements of the characters could be described in more detail to make the scene clearer and more engaging. Additionally, some of the dialogue could be tightened up and made more concise.

In terms of character development, Marty's actions in standing up for George and his bravery in the face of danger could be further emphasized to make him a more dynamic and compelling protagonist.

Overall, with some improvements in clarity and character development, this scene has the potential to be a strong and entertaining part of a screenplay.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Improve the description of the characters' actions and emotions. Instead of just saying Marty is "loitering," describe his body language and facial expressions to convey his boredom or restlessness. Similarly, provide more vivid details about George's disheveled appearance and wild-eyed expression to enhance the visuals for the reader and the audience.

2. Add more dialogue to establish the characters' personalities and relationships. For example, instead of Marty simply asking where George has been all day, have him make a playful comment about George always oversleeping or being late. This would help establish their dynamic as friends.

3. Consider rearranging the dialogue to make it more natural and conversational. For instance, instead of Marty abruptly saying, "All right, keep your pants on," he could say something more casual like, "Hey, chill out, man." This would make the dialogue feel more authentic and less scripted.

4. Make George's anxiety about asking Lorraine out more apparent. Show his nervousness through actions like him fidgeting or stumbling over his words as he talks to Marty. This would make his character more relatable and endearing to the audience.

5. Instead of Marty simply pointing through the window to indicate where Lorraine is, have him use visual cues to guide George, like gesturing or nodding his head in her direction. This would add more visual interest to the scene.

6. To add tension and suspense, consider adding a sense of urgency to the scene. Maybe there's a time limit George has to ask Lorraine out before someone else does, or perhaps they have to rush because the café is closing soon. This would increase the stakes and keep the audience engaged.

7. Consider adding some humor to the scene. For example, when George takes out a pencil and paper to write down Marty's advice, Marty could make a lighthearted comment about George always being prepared or overthinking things. This would add some comedic relief to the scene and enhance the relationship between the characters.

8. Expand on the action sequence when Marty and Biff start fighting. With more specific choreography and descriptions of their movements, you can create a more exciting and visually engaging fight scene.

9. Consider adding more reactions from the other characters in the café. Show their surprise, amusement, or support as they witness the fight and Marty's escape. This would add more depth to the scene and help establish the community atmosphere of the town.

10. Lastly, consider adding a moment of connection between Lorraine and Marty during the fight scene. Maybe she sees Marty's bravery or quick thinking and is intrigued by him. This would foreshadow their future relationship and add a layer of depth to the overall story.

Scene 21 -  Skateboard Escape
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
95 EXT. CAFÉ 95

Marty, towed by the car, zooms past the café. The spectators are truly amazed. Lorraine
stares in open-mouthed awe.
He*s an absolute dream...!

Now Biff*s convertible comes racing after Marty.

95-A MARTY 95-A
again looks over his shoulder and sees that Biff is closing in, fast. Things don*t look good.

Up ahead is an intersecting street: Hill Street. Marty lets go of the car and cuts a sharp left
onto Hill Street.

95-B is coming too fast to make the turn. He overshoots the intersection and has to make 95-B
another U.

His boys are watching Marty with amazement. *

What is that thing he*s on? *

It*s a board with a roller skate nailed under it. *

3 -D *
Hey — we could build those things and sell ‘em — we could call ‘em “Roller *
Boards!” *


It*s an incredibly steep hill, and at the bottom is a
railroad crossing. Marty accelerates and he coasts down. Now Biff*s convertible shoots
onto Hill Street, actually lifting off the ground as it comes over the hill!

Biff drives like hell after Marty and he*s closing fast. Then Marty drops into a crouch, cuts
his wind resistance and speeds away!


the warning bells start ringing and the gate begins to lower.

Marty reacts with fear.

A Diesel Freight is approaching.

The gate drops all the way down.

Biff speeds up to stay on Marty*s tail.

98 Marty has no choice — he vaults over the crossing gate and lands back on his 98
“skateboard,” crossing the track s just inches in front of the barreling Diesel!

99 Biff slams on his brakes. His wheels lock up and rubber SCREECHES across the 99
pavement... but nevertheless, he CRASHES through the crossing gate, coming to a stop
right at the edge of the tracks... and the Diesel engine runs over his front bumper!
99-A MARTY 99-A
continues on with a euphoric yell as the train roars on behind him, completely cutting off
Biff*s pursuit.

BIFF is pissed.

I*m gonna get that son of a bitch.



Time has passed; things are quiet at the café.

Marty comes gliding down the street on his “skateboard,” looking around for somebody. He
hops off and sticks his head in the café.


Hi, Calvin — I mean, Marty.

Marty turns: LORRAINE is standing on the sidewalk behind him.

Oh, hi.

You know, you*re the first person who*s ever given Biff a taste of his own

Marty shrugs if off as no big deal.

She moves toward him. He backs away.

Marty, this may seem a little forward, but I was hoping you might take me to
the “Enchantment Under the Sea” Dance on Saturday.

Uh, well, funny you should bring that up, because you know who really
wants to take you, and I really think you*d hit it off with him, is George

Yeah, he asked me, but I turned him down.

You did WHAT?

George just isn*t my type. He*s sort of cute and all, but he*s such a... well,
you know, a chicken.
(moving closer to him)
I think a man should be he can protect the woman he loves.
Don*t you?

She moves closer. Marty gulps. This is REALLY getting out of hand!

So what do you say about Saturday?

Uh...well...yeah, sure. Okay. It*ll be...great. You and me... on a...
(coughs, nearly chokes)

Genres: ["Science Fiction","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary After being pursued by Biff in his car, Marty escapes on his skateboard and outwits Biff at a railroad crossing. Marty then meets Lorraine and she asks him to the dance, but he convinces her to go with George instead.
  • Exciting escape scene
  • Tension between Marty and Lorraine
  • Lack of character development
Critique Overall, this scene is exciting and engaging, with a clear sense of tension and action. The pacing is well done, keeping the audience hooked and curious about what will happen next. The dialogue is effective in conveying the characters' emotions and motivations.

One potential improvement could be to provide more visual descriptions to enhance the imagery and bring the scene to life. For example, instead of just saying Marty "zooms past the café" and the spectators are "truly amazed," it would be helpful to describe Marty's speed and the spectators' reactions in more detail to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader and potential viewers.

Additionally, the transition between Marty's escape on the skateboard and Biff's pursuit could be smoother. It would be beneficial to clarify how Biff reacts and responds to Marty's actions, as well as provide clearer visuals of the car chase sequence.

Lastly, the conclusion of the scene, where Marty and Lorraine have a conversation outside the café, feels a bit rushed. It would be beneficial to provide more dialogue and character interactions to further develop their relationship and add depth to their dynamic.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Develop Marty's emotions and reactions: Show more of Marty's fear and desperation as Biff chases him. This will heighten the tension and make Marty's escape more thrilling.

2. Show the spectators' reactions: Instead of just saying they are amazed, describe their expressions and gestures to convey their awe and excitement.

3. Add more visual details: Provide specific details about the surroundings, such as the café's location, the layout of the streets, and the appearance of the spectators. This will help the reader visualize the scene more vividly.

4. Enhance the dialogue: Make the dialogue more dynamic and engaging by using descriptive action lines and varying sentence structure. Consider adding more banter between Marty and Lorraine to make their conversation more lively.

5. Show Marty's skills and resourcefulness: Highlight Marty's quick thinking and ingenuity during the chase, such as his ability to maneuver through the streets and vault over the crossing gate. This will emphasize his resourcefulness and make him a more compelling protagonist.

6. Build up tension: Use descriptive language to create a sense of urgency and danger during the chase. Show Marty and Biff making split-second decisions and taking risks to outmaneuver each other.

7. Foreshadow future events: Use the dialogue between Marty and Lorraine to hint at their future relationship and the conflicts they will face together. This will add depth to their characters and set up future plot developments.

8. Consider rearranging the scene: Depending on the overall narrative structure, it may be helpful to rearrange or combine scenes to improve pacing and flow. This could involve moving certain actions or dialogue to earlier or later scenes to create a smoother narrative progression.

Overall, focus on creating a visually engaging and emotionally gripping chase scene while also advancing the story and developing characters. Remember to utilize descriptive language, dynamic dialogue, and strategic placement of action lines to enhance the overall impact of the scene.

Scene 22 -  Preparing for the Lightning
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7

Brown is shocked to hear what Marty has just told him.

What do you mean you said “yes”?

I had to. At least that way I*ll know she*ll be there. Now all I*ve gotta do is
figure out some way to make her end up with George.

You*re not gonna have much time, kid. You*ve gotta make everything
happen by 9:30 — 9:45 at the latest — because you*ve gotta beat it back to
the courthouse square in time for the fireworks.

Come here, I*ll show you the set-up.

Brown takes him over to a CRUDE PLYWOOD TABLETOP MODEL of Hill Valley town
square which he*s constructed himself.

A “lightning rod” (a nail) has been attached to the top of the “clock tower” (a piece of wood
with a watch strapped around it). A wire runs down from the “lightning rod,” across “town
square” and between two “lamp posts” (candles in candlesticks) across the “street.”

Brown explains the layout to Marty.

We put a lightning rod on the clock tower and we run some industrial
strength electrical cable from the lightning rod, across the street. *
Meanwhile, we *ve outfitted your car with a big hook directly connected into *
the T.F.C....

Brown brings out a wind-up toy car with a wire sticking straight up from the back. There*s a
hook on the top of it. (There is a similar rig on the real DeLorean, visible in the
background.) Brown winds up the toy car.

On a signal, you*ll take off down the street toward the cable, accelerating to *

Brown releases the toy car from one end of the model, toward the strung wire...

He picks up a STRIPPED WIRE, plugged into the AC outlet and brings it toward the
“lightning rod.”

Lightning strikes, electrifying the cable, just in time to...

He touches the live wire to the nail. The toy car*s antenna snags the cable. SPARKS FLY,
and the toy car catches FIRE! It flies off the table top, into some drapes, and they catch fire
as well!

Brown grabs a FIRE EXTINGUISHER and puts everything out. Marty shakes his head.

You*re instilling me with a lot of confidence here, Doc.

Don*t worry. I*ll take care of the lightning. You just take care of your old

Marty has another look at the fateful snapshot.


Dave is entirely gone, and now Linda*s head is beginning to go.

103 MARTY 103


Genres: ["Science Fiction","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary Marty learns from Brown that he needs to ensure his parents meet and fall in love in order for his existence to be secure. Brown shows him a model of the town square and explains his plan to use lightning to send Marty back to the future. Marty expresses doubt but Brown reassures him. Marty looks at the fading snapshot of his family and realizes the stakes.
Strengths "The scene introduces a crucial plan to ensure Marty's existence and moves the story forward. The conversation between Marty and Brown shows the stakes and adds tension to the plot. The use of a model and visual props is a clever way to explain the plan."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more engaging and the emotional impact could be stronger. The theme could be developed further."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively conveys the urgency and challenge of Marty's mission while also providing some comedic moments. The dialogue between Brown and Marty flows naturally and effectively conveys their objectives and what needs to be done. The use of the toy car and model to demonstrate the plan is a clever visual aid that helps to make the complex plan more understandable for the audience.

One potential critique is that the dialogue could be tightened up to make it more concise. For example, the line "You've gotta make everything happen by 9:30 - 9:45 at the latest - because you've gotta beat it back to the courthouse square in time for the fireworks" could be simplified to "You've gotta make everything happen by 9:45 to make it back to the courthouse square for the fireworks." This would make the dialogue more streamlined and efficient.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from some further visual descriptions to provide more context and immersiveness. For example, describing Marty's reaction to the news and incorporating more specific details about the surroundings and props would help to enhance the scene.

Overall, this scene effectively accomplishes its purpose in advancing the plot and setting up the obstacles that Marty will face. With some minor adjustments to the dialogue and added visual descriptions, it could be further improved.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the stakes and conflicts: Make it clear why Marty's "yes" answer shocks Brown and why it's important for Marty to make George end up with the girl. This will add tension and urgency to the scene.

2. Pacing and dialogue: Consider breaking up long blocks of dialogue into smaller, more conversational exchanges. This will make the scene feel more dynamic. Additionally, try to add more subtext and emotional depth to the dialogue to reflect the characters' motivations and fears.

3. Visual clarity: Provide more details and visual cues to help the audience understand the set-up with the crude plywood tabletop model and the lightning rod. Describe the toy car and the wire sticking straight up from the back in more detail to help the reader visualize the scene better.

4. Show the consequences: After the toy car catches fire, show the characters reacting to the mishap. This will add humor and suspense to the scene.

5. Character development: Take the opportunity to further develop Marty and Brown's relationship. Show more of Marty's frustration and concern, and demonstrate Brown's expertise and determination to help Marty.

6. Foreshadowing: Find opportunities to foreshadow or hint at future events or conflicts. This can help build suspense and keep the audience engaged.

7. Use of visuals: Consider incorporating visual elements to enhance the impact of the scene. For example, show Marty glancing at the fateful snapshot to add emotion and foreshadowing.

Remember, these are just suggestions, and it's important to adapt them to fit your specific story and style.

Scene 23 -  Preparing for the Dance
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 6
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6

GEORGE seems very bewildered about what MARTY has been trying to explain to him.

I still don*t understand. How can I go to the dance with her if she*s going
with YOU?

She wants to go with YOU George — she just doesn*t know it yet. That*s
why we*ve gotta convince her that you*re not a chicken — so she*ll realize

Now come on, hit me in the stomach. Right here, go ahead.
Marty makes himself a target, but George seems quite unwilling. In the background, a
homemade body bag (a duffel bag filled with clothes) is hanging from a clothesline pole.

I don*t want to hit you in the stomach.

You*re not gonna hurt me. Just give me a punch.

Look, I*m not a fighter.

How many times do I have to explain it to you? We know you*re not a
fighter. You know it, I know it...but she doesn*t know it. That*s why we*ve
gotta make you look like a fighter, somebody who*ll stand up for her,
somebody who*ll protect her. And you*re not gonna look like a fighter if you
can*t hit me in the stomach.

But I*ve never picked a fight in my life!

You*re not picking a fight, you*re coming to her rescue. Maybe we *d better
go over the plan again.

Where are you gonna be at 8:55?

At the dance.

And where am I gonna be?

In the parking lot, with her.

Okay. So right around 9:00, she*s gonna get very angry with me—


Why what?

Why is she gonna get angry with you?

(it*s hard for him to say)
Well...because...well, nice girls get angry at guys who... who try to take
advantage of ‘em.
You mean you*re gonna—

George, don*t worry about it. Just remember that at 9 o*clock, you*ll be
strolling through the parking lot and you*ll see us...
...struggling in the car, you*ll run over, open the door, and say...?

George doesn*t say anything.

Your line, George.

Oh. Uh... “Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her.” You really think I
should swear?

Yes, definitely, George, swear. Then you hit me in the stomach, I go down
for the count, and you and Lorraine live happily ever after.

You make it sound so easy. I wish I wasn*t so scared.

There*s nothing to be scared of. Now come on and hit me in the stomach.

George takes a deep breath and throws a flimsy punch into Marty*s gut.

No, George, put a little emotion into it. A little hostility, a little anger.

George tries to get himself angry. He makes some faces and throws another punch. It*s
not much better.

Anger, George, anger.

Maybe if I used my left...

No, George. Just concentrate on the anger. Anger.

George throws another punch. This one is slightly better than the last one.

Well... I think you*re starting to get the hang of it. Just keep practicing. I*ll
see you later. Remember, anger, George. Anger.

Marty walks off, leaving George with the body bag. He stares at it, trying to make himself

He hits it. He hits it again, harder... again... harder... again — he hits the tree! George
howls in pain!

Yeeeowww!! Goddammit!!

He*s really angry now, and he socks the bag with his left — and KNOCKS IT CLEAR OFF

105 George is astonished! 105


It*s a few minutes before 8 o*clock.

We hear a RADIO WEATHER FORECAST as the CAMERA takes us from the lightning rod
atop the clock tower, along the cable strung down across the square, to the STREET
where Brown *s Packard is parked nearby — the weather report emanates from the car

BROWN is on a ladder; he*s connecting the paddle plug end of the clock tower cable to the
socket on an extension cable tied around a lamp post.

The DeLorean is nearby covered with a tarp. MARTY arrives, dressed up for the dance.

(V.O. radio)
Area weather on this Saturday night: An electrical storm in the vicinity will
bypass Hill Valley, but we can expect continued cloudiness and some light

Brown reacts to the weather report.

Kid, are you sure about this storm?

Doc, since when can a weatherman predict the weather — let alone the

Brown smiles. He plugs in the cables, then descends the ladder.

(a beat)
You know, kid, I... well, I*m gonna be sad to see you go. You*ve really made
a difference in my life — you*ve given me something to shoot for. Just
knowing that I*m gonna live to see 1985... that I*ll succeed in this... that I*ll
get a chance to travel through time... well, it’s just gonna be hard for me to
wait 30 years before we can talk about everything that*s happened in the
past few days. I’m gonna really miss you.
Marty is particularly uncomfortable, knowing the fate of Dr. Brown.

Yeah... uh, Doc, about the future...

No, kid. We*ve already agreed that having knowledge of the future can be
extremely dangerous. Even if your intentions are good, it could backfire
drastically. Whatever it is you want to tell me, I*ll find out through the natural
course of time.

This is not what Marty wanted to hear, but he can see there*s no arguing with Brown.

Yeah... Listen, I*m gonna get a candy bar or something. You want anything?

No thanks.

Genres: ["Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Marty helps George prepare to ask Lorraine to the dance, teaching him how to appear tough and defend her. George struggles but eventually finds his anger and knocks a bag off a tree. Marty then meets up with Doc Brown, who is preparing for the lightning strike to send Marty back to the future.
Strengths "Character development, comedic moments"
Weaknesses "Dialogue could be sharper"
Critique Overall, this scene effectively establishes the conflict and character motivations. The dialogue between George and Marty highlights their differing perspectives and sets up the central conflict of the film - George's fear and lack of confidence. The scene also introduces the plan for George to stand up for Lorraine and convince her to go to the dance with him.

The scene could benefit from tighter dialogue, particularly in George's lines. Some of his lines, such as "I don't want to hit you in the stomach" and "You mean you're gonna..." feel repetitive and could be condensed. Additionally, the dialogue could use more subtext and nuance to reflect the characters' emotions and the stakes of the situation.

The physical action of George practicing his punches adds some visual interest to the scene and helps convey his character growth. The use of the body bag as a target is a clever way to show George's progression from reluctance to anger. However, the scene could benefit from more specific and descriptive action lines to enhance the visual storytelling.

The transition to the next scene at the clock tower feels a bit abrupt. It could be smoothed out by adding a short action or dialogue beat to bridge the two scenes.

Overall, the scene effectively sets up the character dynamics and conflict, but could benefit from tighter dialogue and more descriptive action lines.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

- The dialogue could benefit from some tightening. Remove unnecessary repetition and streamline the conversation between George and Marty to make it more concise and focused.

- Develop the characters' emotions and motivations more clearly. Show George's confusion and reluctance more explicitly, as well as Marty's determination to help George gain confidence.

- Consider adding visual cues or actions to enhance the scene. For example, George could be physically hesitant to punch Marty, which could visually demonstrate his apprehension and fear.

- Create stronger visual contrast by describing the difference in appearance between Marty and George. This can visually reinforce George's meekness and Marty's more assertive nature.

- Show the progression of George's transformation more explicitly. Instead of just having him throw a flimsy initial punch, describe his progression of punches with increasing anger and intensity until he finally knocks the bag off the tree.

- Provide more depth to the relationship between Marty and Doc Brown in the following scene. Show their bond and friendship, and Marty's concern for Doc's safety and future. This will make the audience more emotionally invested in their relationship.

- Lastly, consider adding more visual cues to enhance the dramatic tension. For example, you could describe the storm brewing in the background as Marty and Doc talk about the future, which can symbolize the uncertainty and danger ahead.

Scene 24 -  Preparing for the Dance
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

as a HAND with a pen writes.


MARTY is sitting at a booth writing. He reads it over.

“Dr. Brown, on October 5, 1985, at about 1:30 a.m., you will be shot by
terrorists. Please take whatever precautions are necessary to prevent this
terrible disaster. Your friend, Marty. March 26, 1955.”

Satisfied, Marty folds the letter, puts it in an envelope, and writes something on it.


“Dr. Brown: do not open until October 1, 1985.”



Brown is on the ladder stringing electrical cable across the street, between the two lamp
posts. MARTY returns with a candy bar. Brown*s trenchcoat is laying on the tarped
DeLorean. Making sure that Brown isn*t watching, Marty surreptitiously places the
ENVELOPE into a pocket.

Now a COP meanders over and watches.

Evening, Dr. Brown. What*s with the wire?
Oh, I*m just doing a little weather experiment.

(notices the tarped DeLorean)
And what*s under here?

Some new specialized weather sensing equipment.

Brown comes down from the ladder.

You got a permit for this?

Of course I do... right here.

He takes out his wallet and gives the cop a 50 dollar bill.

You*re... not going to set anything on fire this time, are you, Dr. Brown?

Brown looks to Marty for guidance. Marty shakes his head.

(to cop)

In that case, good luck.

He continues down the street.

Thank you, officer.
(to Marty)
Say, kid, you*d better pick up your mom and get going.

Marty is about to get into the Packard. He hesitates and pulls the snapshot out of his *
pocket. *


Marty is the only one in the picture now, it*s as if his siblings never existed.

111 BACK TO SHOT 111

Marty stares at it, then puts it back in his pocket. He is uneasy and scared. *

You look a little pale. Are you okay? *
Oh sure, I feel great. Why shouldn*t I? I*m going on a hot date with my *
mother. *



“Enchantment Under The Sea” is well underway.

On stage is the band: Marvin Berry and the Midnighters. They*re all black. Marvin plays
lead guitar and sings; there is also a drummer, piano player, sax and bass. They*re playing
“3 Coins In The Fountain.”

The gym has been decorated in an undersea motif: seaweed, fish on the walls, a paper
mache sunken ship, a “treasure chest,” and a single school locker labeled “Davey Jones.”
There is also a BUBBLE MACHINE, ala Lawrence Welk.

As usual at school dances, there are teachers acting as chaperones (including Mr.
Strickland), a busy refreshment table (including a cake in the shape of a fish), and
wallflowers on the sidelines.

GEORGE is on the sidelines, bopping out of time to the music. He *s quite nervous.


Brown *s Packard pulls into the lot and parks.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary Marty writes a letter to Dr. Brown warning him of his future death and hides it in the DeLorean. Marty and Dr. Brown set up a weather experiment using electrical cables and specialized equipment. A cop questions them but is bribed with money. Marty receives a snapshot of his family and feels uneasy. Marty and Dr. Brown talk about Marty's upcoming date with his mother. The scene then transitions to the school dance, 'Enchantment Under The Sea.' George is nervous on the sidelines, and Dr. Brown's Packard arrives in the parking lot.
Strengths "The scene effectively sets up the stakes and conflicts of the story. The dialogue provides important information and reveals character emotions. The tone is consistent with the overall tone of the film. The scene moves the story forward and introduces key plot elements."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more engaging and memorable. The emotional impact of the scene could be stronger to create a greater connection with the audience."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the necessary information to the audience. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue between Marty and Dr. Brown could be tightened up to make it more concise and impactful. For example, Marty's dialogue could be simplified while still maintaining the essential message of the letter. Brown's dialogue in response to the cop's questions could also be more succinct for better pacing.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting. For instance, describing the cafe where Marty is writing, the street where Brown is stringing electrical cable, and the school gymnasium in more detail would help to immerse the audience in the scene.

Furthermore, Marty's emotional state could be better conveyed through his actions and reactions. For instance, rather than Marty simply stating that he feels great, his uneasiness and fear about altering the past could be shown through nervous gestures or facial expressions.

Lastly, the scene could benefit from more specific and unique dialogue choices that reflect the personalities of the characters. This would help to further differentiate them and make their interactions more engaging for the audience.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Show the urgency: In the first part of the scene where Marty is reading the letter, add some tension by showing his sense of urgency and concern about warning Dr. Brown. This can be done through his body language, facial expressions, or even some inner thoughts.

2. Use visual cues: Instead of just stating that Marty folds the letter and puts it in an envelope, show this action visually. It could be accompanied by a close-up shot of his hands carefully folding the letter and sealing the envelope.

3. Enhance the dialogue: Marty's dialogue could be revised to make it sound more natural and believable. For example, rather than saying, "Please take whatever precautions are necessary to prevent this terrible disaster," it could be rephrased to something like, "You need to do whatever it takes to make sure this disaster never happens."

4. Increase the tension with the cop: When the cop questions Dr. Brown about the wire and the tarped DeLorean, heighten the tension in their interaction. Maybe the cop is more suspicious or confrontational, and Dr. Brown has to come up with a clever response to convince him. This will make the scene more engaging.

5. Add more emotion to Marty's character: Marty's emotions about the disappearing photograph and his uneasiness and fear can be emphasized. Show close-up shots of his face, highlighting his confusion and concern. This will make his character more relatable and add depth to the scene.

6. Create an atmosphere at the dance: When the scene shifts to the dance at the school gymnasium, describe the atmosphere in more detail. Use sensory details to describe the decoration, the music, and the overall mood of the place. This will help the reader visualize the scene and immerse themselves in the setting.

7. Develop George's character: As George is shown on the sidelines, bopping out of time to the music, add some additional characterization to him. Show his nervousness through his body language and interactions with other characters. This will make his character more interesting and relatable to the audience.

8. Show Marty's anticipation: Before Marty arrives at the dance, briefly show his anticipation or excitement about seeing his mother and how he plans to approach her. This will build anticipation for the audience as well.

9. Revise the ending: The last sentence could be revised to create curiosity or intrigue. Instead of simply stating that the Packard parks, add a bit of mystery to it. For example, "Brown's Packard glides into the lot like a ghost, its engine purring softly as it finds its spot."

10. Consider the pacing: Review the scene for any unnecessary or repetitive dialogue or actions that might slow down the pace. Make sure every action or line of dialogue is purposeful and moves the story forward efficiently.

Scene 25 -  Pre-Dance Jitters
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Marty, at the wheel, is very uneasy; Lorraine next to him looks beautiful in her best party
dress. Marty glances at the clock on the dashboard. It*s 8 minutes before 9.

Uh, you don*t mind if we, uh, park for a few minutes...?

Why do you think I*d mind?

Well, I don*t know, some girls just don*t like to...

Marty, I*m almost 18 years old. It*s not like I*ve never parked before.

She scoots over, very close to him. Marty fidgets. Boy, is he nervous!

You seem nervous, Marty. Is anything wrong?

Uh, no...

Have some of this — it*ll help you relax.
She pulls a pint bottle of gin out of her purse. Marty is shocked.

What are you doing with that?

I swiped it from the old man*s liquor cabinet.

She takes a nip.

Lorraine, you shouldn*t drink!

Why not?

Well, it *s just not healthy.

Don*t be so square, Marty. Everybody who*s anybody does it.

She hands it to him.


Maybe I could use a hit....

Just as he takes a swig, she pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights up. Marty spits out the
gin in surprise.

Jesus — you smoke, too?

Now, Marty, you*re not going to tell me that smoking is unhealthy. Everyone
knows that it calms your nerves and it*s good for the circulation.

It*ll give you cancer!

You know, you sound just like my mother. When I have kids. I*m gonna let
them do anything they want. Anything.

I*d sure like to have that in writing.

The comment goes right past Lorraine.

So what are your parents like? Are they as square as mine?

Lorraine, lately I*ve come to the conclusion that I don*t know anything about ‘em.

Marvin Berry and the Midnighters finish up a number. Everyone applauds. Marvin steps up
to the microphone.

We*re gonna take a break now, but we*ll be back in just a little while, so
don*t go away.

The band members leave their instruments on the stage and head out a side door.

GEORGE now glances at the clock in the gym. It says “8:59.” Alarmed, he checks his own

116 INSERT — GEORGE*S WATCH which reads “8:55.” 116

117 GEORGE 117
is even more alarmed. He runs over to a nearby STUDENT.

What time do you have?

Five after nine.

George is panic stricken! He runs like hell out of the gym!


Marty fidgets and looks at the clock again.

Marty, why are you so nervous?

Marty takes a deep breath.

Well, have you ever been in a situation where, well, you know you have to
act a certain way, but when you get there, you don*t know if you can go
through with it?

You mean like how you*re supposed to act with someone on a first date?

Well, sort of...

I think I know exactly what you mean.

You do?
And you know what I do in those situations?

Marty looks at her.

I don*t worry about it!

And with that, she throws herself on him, kissing him passionately. Marty is absolutely


George is in a PHONE BOOTH, dialing a number. It rings and a WOMAN answers.

(V.O. phone)
At the tone, the time will be nine o*clock, exactly....

A KID named DIXON (class prankster type) sticks a broom through the phone booth door *
handle. George tries to get out, but he*s trapped. *

Dixon LAUGHS loudly.

George jerks the door frantically, and Dixon just laughs louder.
Genres: ["Romance","Comedy"]

Summary Marty and Lorraine have a tense moment in the car before the dance. Lorraine offers Marty alcohol and cigarettes, causing him to panic. They discuss their parents, and Marty reveals he doesn't know much about his own. Meanwhile, George panics about the time and gets trapped in a phone booth by a prankster.
Strengths "The scene effectively builds tension and sets up conflicts for multiple characters. The dialogue captures the nervousness and awkwardness of the situation."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more development of Lorraine's character and her motivations for offering Marty alcohol and cigarettes."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively creates tension and anticipation. The dialogue between Marty and Lorraine is realistic and helps to establish their characters and personalities. The use of Marty's nervousness and Lorraine's nonchalant attitude towards drinking and smoking adds depth to their relationship. The introduction of George's panic and the phone booth prank also adds a subplot and raises the stakes for Marty and Lorraine. The scene ends on a cliffhanger, leaving the audience eager to see what happens next.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. The scene could benefit from some visual descriptions to give a clearer sense of the setting and characters' actions. For example, describing Marty's fidgeting and Lorraine scooting closer to him would help to enhance the tension and nervousness in the scene. Additionally, the transition between Marty and Lorraine's conversation in the car and the scene at the school dance could be smoother. A clear break or transition could be inserted to indicate the change in location and time.

Overall, though, the scene effectively builds tension and sets up the next plot point, keeping the audience engaged and eager to continue watching.
Suggestions Suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Develop Marty and Lorraine's relationship: Show more chemistry and tension between them leading up to this scene. This will make their actions and dialogue more believable.

2. Show Marty's nervousness more effectively: Instead of stating that Marty is nervous, show it through his actions, body language, and dialogue. Maybe he can fidget with the steering wheel or his hands, stutter, or avoid eye contact.

3. Make Lorraine's actions and dialogue more surprising: Instead of Marty being shocked by Lorraine's actions, create a bigger surprise for the audience. Maybe she suggests something more unexpected or does something out of character.

4. Add more conflict and stakes: Raise the stakes for Marty and Lorraine being caught by someone or facing consequences for their actions. This will create more tension in the scene.

5. Connect George's actions to the main story: Make George's panic about the time more relevant to the main plot. Maybe his actions have consequences later on that affect Marty and Lorraine's relationship or the overall outcome of the story.

6. Consider the pacing and structure of the scene: Make sure the scene flows smoothly and the dialogue feels natural and realistic. Condense or trim unnecessary dialogue or actions to keep the scene engaging and impactful.

Scene 26 -  Marty's Rescue
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 8

Lorraine continues her passionate assault of Marty — then abruptly stops and pushes him
away. She*s very confused.

This isn*t right.
I don*t know what it is, but... when I kiss you, something*s wrong. I almost
feel like... like I was kissing my brother... or my father. I don*t understand it,
but I just know it*s wrong. I guess that doesn*t make any sense, does it?

Believe me, it makes perfect sense.

We hear the sounds of APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS on gravel.

Sounds like somebody*s coming.

Marty hears it too. He looks at the dashboard clock: 9:00. He sighs with defeat.

Yeah... I know...

Suddenly the driver*s door is opened, an arm reaches in, yanks Marty out, and Marty finds
himself face to face with
Match, 3-D and Skinhead are with him.

You caused $300 damage to my car, dipshit. And I*m gonna take it outta *
your ass... Hold him, guys.

Biff shoves him roughly into the arms of Skinhead. Marty struggles, but Skinhead and
Match grab him and restrain him

Let go of him! Leave him alone, Biff! You*re drunk.

Biff takes a look at Lorraine in the car.

Well, lookee what we have here. Maybe I*ll take it out of your ass...

She lunges at her door to escape, but Biff grabs her and climbs into the car.

Oh, no, you*re stayin* right here with me.

Biff pulls her toward him.

Get you hands off her, you son-of-a-bitch.

Biff leers at Marty.

I*ll take care of you after I take care of her. (to his boys) Take him around
back. I*ll be there in a minute.
(a beat)
Go on! This ain*t no peepshow!

They drag Marty away. Biff shuts the car door and tries to kiss her. She struggles, and in a
moment, all we can see through the windshield are tussling arms and legs, accompanied
by Lorraine*s muffled screams.


Skinhead, Match and 3-D drag Marty around the corner to the side of the school where a
CADILLAC is parked with its trunk open.

Hey — let*s lock him in that trunk!

They throw Marty into the car trunk and slam the lid shut. Then, the Cadillac*s driver*s door
is thrown open and the DRUMMER from the band steps out. He*s smoking a reefer.

Say, what you messin* with my car for?

Beat it, spook, this don*t concern you!
The other 3 car doors open, and MARVIN BERRY and the OTHER BAND MEMBERS get
out. They look real “bad” with their processed hair.

Who you callin * “spook,” peckerwood?

Biff*s boys exchange worried looks as the band members advance on them.

Hey, I don*t want to mess with no reefer addicts!

Biff*s boys take off (in the opposite direction from the Packard), but Marvin and the band
manage to kick ‘em all in the ass as they run away.

Now we hear beating on the trunk from the inside, and Marty*s muffled voice.

Lemme out! Lemme out!

Hey, Reginald, where*s your keys?

The drummer checks his pockets, and inside the car. He can*t find them.

They*re in here! The keys are in here!

Dammit, boy, you left them suckers in the trunk!

122 INT. — PACKARD 122

Lorraine is trying to fight off Biff. It*s a real struggle for her.


Through the windshield we see arms and legs flailing about in a struggle. We hear

Now GEORGE arrives. He spots the car and goes into his act. He adjusts his pants, strides
to the car like John Wayne, and opens the driver*s door.

Hey, you! Get your damn hands — uh, oh!

George realizes he*s facing Biff. Now he*s really scared.

I think you got the wrong car, McFly.

George! Help me!

George doesn*t know what to do. He stares in dumbfounded amazement.
Just close the door, McFly and walk away.

Uh, okay, Biff...

He turns and takes a few steps.

George! Please! Help me!

George can*t stand it. He stops and goes back. He takes a deep breath.

All right, Biff. You let her alone.

Who *s gonna make me?

I am.

Biff steps out of the car and laughs loudly.

Yeah? You and what army, McFly?

George balls his right hand into a fist and takes a swing at Biff — but Biff grabs his arm
and starts twisting it.

George grimaces.


Meanwhile, Marvin is trying to pop the trunk lock with a screwdriver. He*s not having much
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Romance"]

Summary Marty gets into a confrontation with Biff after Lorraine realizes she feels wrong when she kisses him. Biff and his friends grab Marty and Lorraine, and Marty is locked in the trunk of a car. George arrives and attempts to stand up to Biff, but is overpowered.
Strengths "Intense conflict, character development, suspenseful moments"
Weaknesses "None"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys tension and conflict. The dialogue between Lorraine and Marty reveals their emotional state and highlights the awkwardness of their relationship. The introduction of Biff and his gang adds a new layer of danger and raises the stakes for the characters. The action sequences are described clearly, allowing the reader to visualize the scene. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

First, the scene could benefit from more specific and vivid descriptions. For example, when Lorraine is struggling with Biff in the car, the action could be described in more detail to create a clearer picture in the reader's mind. Additionally, there are a few instances where the characters' emotions could be further explored through actions or reactions. For instance, Marty's defeat when he looks at the dashboard clock could be enhanced by describing his facial expression or body language.

Second, the pacing of the scene could be improved. The transition between different locations and sets of characters could be smoother to maintain a more consistent flow. Additionally, the introduction of the band members could be better integrated into the scene. As it stands, their appearance feels somewhat abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the action.

Lastly, there are a few instances of repetitive dialogue that could be eliminated to streamline the scene. For example, when George initially confronts Biff, the repeated pleas from Lorraine for help could be condensed to highlight her desperation without becoming redundant.

Overall, with some minor adjustments to the descriptions, pacing, and dialogue, this scene has the potential to be even stronger and more engaging.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the emotions and actions of the characters: In the dialogue, make sure to specify the tone, emotions, and gestures of the characters. For example, instead of just saying Lorraine is confused, describe how her confusion manifests in her actions and expressions.

2. Add visual details: Enhance the visual aspects of the scene by including descriptions of the surroundings, lighting, and any props the characters are interacting with. This can help set the mood and make the scene more engaging.

3. Show character development: Use this scene as an opportunity to reveal more about the characters and their relationships. Explore Lorraine's internal conflict and Marty's determination to protect her. Also, consider adding moments that highlight the growth of their relationship throughout the story.

4. Tighten the dialogue: Review the dialogue and consider removing any redundant or repetitive lines. Make sure each line contributes to the overall development of the scene and moves the story forward.

5. Increase tension and stakes: Create a sense of urgency and suspense as Biff confronts Marty and Lorraine. Increase the risk and consequences of their actions to further engage the audience.

6. Add sensory details: Use sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene. Describe the sounds, smells, and physical sensations that the characters experience, such as the sound of approaching footsteps or the feeling of hands grabbing onto Marty.

7. Give the scene a clear objective: Ensure that the scene has a clear purpose in advancing the plot or developing the characters. Consider how this scene fits into the overall story arc and align the actions of the characters with their goals and motivations.

8. Add visual conflict and action: Make the confrontation between Biff and George more visually dynamic. Consider adding choreographed fight sequences or physical struggles to make the scene more visually engaging and impactful.

Remember, these suggestions are subjective, and ultimately the improvements to the scene should align with the overall vision and tone of the screenplay.

Scene 27 -  George Stands Up
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
125 EXT. PACKARD 125

Biff twists George*s arm harder.

Stop it, Biff! You*ll break his arm!

She tries to pull him away. He slaps her backhand, knocking her down.

Biff laughs.

George*s expression immediately goes from pain to rage — intense rage... and George

Biff hits the ground, out cold!

George can*t believe he did it! He looks at his fist, looks down at Biff, and grins widely.
Oh, George, you were wonderful!

She looks at him with adoring eyes.


Marvin has his screwdriver in the lock. He gives it a hard jerk: the trunk pops open, but he
puts a big gash in his hand.

Damnit — I sliced my hand!

Marty jumps out of the trunk.

Thanks a lot!

He dashes back toward the Packard.

127 MARTY 127

rushes onto the parking lot and is astonished to see GEORGE AND LORRAINE
EMBRACING... and BIFF out cold on the ground. He keeps his distance, allowing them to
have their moment.

Nearby, a few KID BYSTANDERS come over to them.

George, we never knew you had it in you!

Yeah! Ever think about going out for the team?

How about running for class president?

Well, I’ll have to think about it.

Marty can*t believe what he*s hearing.

Now George and Lorraine head for the school.


George and Lorraine go up the front stairs. Marty watches from a safe distance away. Just
as they*re about to go in, Lorraine turns and sees Marty. She smiles. He smiles back.

Now Marty pulls out the snapshot and takes a look.


Marty*s own image is beginning to fade.
In the background, we hear distant THUNDER.

130 MARTY 130
is shocked. He considers the situation a moment, then realizes the answer. He runs back
toward the Cadillac.


Marvin is wrapping a handkerchief around his cut hand while the band looks on.

Marty runs over to them.

Hey, you guys, you*ve gotta get back in there and finish the dance!

Sorry, my friend, but we *re through for tonight.

What do you mean, you*re through?

Look at Marvin*s hand! He can*t play with it like that. And we can*t play
without Marvin.

But you*ve gotta play! That*s where they kiss for the first time — on the
dance floor! If there*s no music, they won*t dance, they won*t kiss, they
won*t fall in love.., and I*m a goner!

Hey, man, the dance is over... unless you know somebody who can play

Marty looks at Marvin and smiles.

Genres: ["Comedy","Drama","Sci-Fi"]

Summary George finally stands up to Biff and knocks him out, impressing Lorraine. Marty is locked in the trunk of a car but is freed by Marvin. Marty sees George and Lorraine embracing and realizes his actions have changed the future. Marty convinces the band to continue playing so George and Lorraine will kiss and fall in love.
Strengths "The scene has a high level of conflict and tension, with George standing up to Biff and Marty trying to ensure his parents fall in love. The action is fast-paced and engaging, keeping the audience on the edge of their seat. The scene also introduces the idea that Marty's actions in the past can change the future."
Weaknesses "The scene could have delved deeper into the emotional impact of George standing up to Biff and Lorraine's reaction to it. The dialogue could have been more impactful and memorable."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effective in conveying the action and emotions of the characters. The tension and conflict between Biff, George, and Lorraine is established clearly, and George's transformation from a victim to a hero is satisfying. Additionally, the dialogue between the bystanders adds a touch of humor and helps to further develop the characters.

One suggestion for improvement is to provide more visual descriptions of the characters' actions to enhance the clarity of the scene. For example, when Biff slaps Lorraine, it would be helpful to describe her reaction more specifically, such as her falling to the ground, clutching her cheek, or the sound of the slap. This would make the action more vivid for the reader.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to include more sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene. For example, describing the setting more specifically, including details of the weather or the sounds of the surrounding area, would help to create a more immersive experience.

Overall, this scene effectively moves the story forward and establishes important character dynamics. With a few tweaks to enhance the visual and sensory aspects, it would be even stronger.
Suggestions - During the scene where Biff is twisting George's arm, consider adding more physical actions or expressions from George to show his pain and struggle.

- Instead of Lorraine just trying to pull Biff away, have her actively fight back or try to intervene more forcefully. This can demonstrate her strength and determination.

- When Biff slaps Lorraine, allow her to retaliate or at least defend herself. This can add depth to her character and show her standing up against Biff.

- After George hits Biff, add more details to describe the impact of the punch and Biff's reaction. This can make the action more impactful and satisfying for the audience.

- When Marty jumps out of the trunk, consider adding a line or action from him to acknowledge the danger he was in. This can highlight his quick thinking and resourcefulness.

- In the moment where Marty sees George and Lorraine embracing and Biff unconscious on the ground, show Marty's reaction and emotions more explicitly. This can help the audience understand his feelings and the significance of the scene.

- When the bystanders come over and interact with George, give more specific dialogue for each bystander to make their comments distinct and memorable.

- You can add a brief moment where George and Lorraine share a loving look or exchange a few words before heading for the school. This can further emphasize their connection and the impact of George's actions.

- When Marty pulls out the snapshot and sees his fading image, describe his reaction and emotions more explicitly. This can further highlight the urgency and tension of the situation.

- In the scene with Marvin and the band at the Cadillac, consider adding more dialogue or actions to show their reluctance to continue playing due to Marvin's injured hand. This can provide more context and justification for their decision.

- Instead of Marty immediately suggesting that they need to keep playing, allow him a moment of realization or brainstorming before coming up with the idea. This can make his decision more impactful.

- Prioritize the importance of the dance and the first kiss between George and Lorraine in Marty's dialogue. Emphasize that if there's no music, it will have a negative impact on their relationship. This can heighten the stakes and urgency of the situation.

- When Marty suggests that someone else should play guitar, allow the band members to react or comment on the unlikelihood of finding a replacement. This can contribute to the tension and challenge at hand.

- Finally, describe Marty's smile in more detail when he looks at Marvin. This can convey his confidence and determination to find a solution.

Scene 28 -  Enchantment Under The Sea Dance
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Marty is playing the guitar with the Midnighters, in a version of “Earth Angel.”

George and Lorraine are on the floor, dancing.

Marty looks at them, then looks at the back of his guitar where, attached with chewing gum.
is the snapshot. Nothing has changed. Marty watches his parents. He *s getting nervous.

GEORGE AND LORRAINE are looking at each other as they dance. George seems a little
unsure of himself.

Aren*t you going to kiss me, George?
Well... I don*t know...

Now DIXON butts in.

Beat it, McFly, I*m cuttin* in.

He pushes George out of the way. ON STAGE, Marty reacts with horror. He looks at the


Marty*s image is definitely fading!

134 MARTY 134
blinks his eyes and start hitting wrong notes. He doesn*t seem to be able to play the guitar

The DRUMMER notices this.

Hey, man...what*s wrong?

I can*t play! I don*t know how to play the guitar!

ON THE DANCE FLOOR, Dixon has his hands all over Lorraine. Lorraine doesn*t like it.
She looks to George with pleading eyes.

MARTY is turning pale. He can barely stand up.

I don*t feel so good...

The band keeps on playing.

GEORGE sees Dixon with Lorraine. His anger rises and he strides over the them.

(to Dixon)
Get lost, jerk!

He yanks Dixon away from Lorraine and shoves him hard, sending him sprawling into the
refreshment table — right into the punch bowl!

George takes Lorraine in his arms and kisses her!

ON STAGE, Marty immediately recovers! He jumps up, full of life, wired with energy. The
color returns to his face, and he looks at the snapshot.


Marty*s image is now sharp and clear, and his sister and brother are fading back in!

George and Lorraine are dancing very close. From the looks on their faces, there can be
no doubt: they*re in love.

You know, I*m gonna write all this up in a story and send it in for publication.

I thought you only wrote science fiction.

It IS science fiction.


The photo is now as it was originally, with Marty, Linda and Dave all “back in existence.”

138 ON STAGE 138

Marty is euphoric. He remembers how to play, and jumps into the opening riff of “Johnny B.

(to the band)
Follow me, fellas! Let*s rock ‘n roll!

The band joins in.


ON THE DANCE FLOOR, heads turn. There are reactions of astonishment from everyone
— and the kids start dancing.

Marty euphorically begins cavorting around like Little Richard!

The band is really getting into it.

And the kids all go nuts, jumping and screaming.

Mr. Strickland, however, just shakes his head with disgust.

Marty whips off his sport coat and throws it into the crowd!


MARVIN BERRY is on the phone.

(into phone)
Chuck? This is Marvin!
Marvin Berry! Your cousin! Now, listen — I think this is the sound you*ve
been looking for...
He holds the phone toward the music.


The pandemonium continues.

Now Marty tears open his shirt and does some Elvis pelvis moves.

Girls scream!

Marty*s movements become Mick Jaggeresque, then take on a Michael Jackson style...
Finally he drifts into pure HEAVY METAL, puts his guitar next to the amp, making

This goes a little too far for 1955 musical tastes — the band stops playing, and the kids
stop dancing. They all watch Marty, not sure what to think.

Marty suddenly realizes he*s gone too far. He smiles sheepishly and steps up to the

Uh, sorry, you guys aren*t ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.

He picks up the song again with the band. They do one more chorus.

Marty wraps up the song with a final riff, and the students all go berserk with applause!

Genres: ["Comedy","Romance","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Marty and Lorraine attend the school dance. George stands up to Biff and impresses Lorraine. Marty realizes his actions have changed the future. Marty convinces the band to continue playing so George and Lorraine can fall in love.
Strengths "Strong character development for Marty, Lorraine, and George. Memorable and iconic moments with the dance scenes and Marty's performance on stage."
Weaknesses "Some dialogue and actions might feel clich\u00e9 or predictable. The change in the future might not be fully explored."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively builds tension and excitement as Marty's actions directly affect the fading of his own existence and the blossoming romance between George and Lorraine. The use of the snapshot as a visual symbol of Marty's fading presence adds a layer of urgency to the scene.

One area for improvement is the dialogue. The lines given to George and Lorraine feel a bit forced and unnatural, particularly when George is unsure about kissing Lorraine and Lorraine pleads with him to do so. Additionally, the dialogue between Marty and the drummer could be more concise and impactful.

The action and description in the scene are generally clear and help to create a dynamic visual image. However, it may benefit from stronger, more specific action verbs to convey the energy and urgency of Marty's performance.

The ending of the scene, where Marty goes too far with his performance and then ad-libs a response to the crowd, feels slightly rushed and could be further developed to heighten the comedic effect.

Overall, this scene effectively advances the plot and highlights the character development of Marty, George, and Lorraine. With some refinement to the dialogue and action, it has the potential to be a strong and impactful moment in the screenplay.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description and detail to the setting: Instead of just mentioning "INT. SCHOOL GYM," give some description of the atmosphere, the decorations, and the overall mood of the gymnasium. This will help create a more vivid and immersive setting for the scene.

2. Include more physical action and gestures: Instead of relying solely on dialogue, incorporate more physical actions and gestures to show the characters' emotions and reactions. For example, when Marty sees his parents dancing, describe his facial expressions, body language, and any specific reactions he has in relation to the snapshot.

3. Show Marty's nervousness and desperation more effectively: Rather than stating that Marty is getting nervous, show his nervousness through his actions and dialogue. Maybe he starts stumbling over his words or fidgeting with his guitar strings. This will make his anxiety more palpable to the audience.

4. Amp up the conflict between George and Dixon: Make the confrontation between George and Dixon more intense and dramatic. Describe George's anger in stronger terms and add in some physicality to the brawl, such as punches or shoves. This will heighten the tension and make the resolution more satisfying.

5. Build up Marty's transformation: Describe Marty's physical and emotional transformation more vividly. Show his increasing desperation and physical deterioration as his image fades in the snapshot. Then, contrast this with his sudden burst of energy and life after his parents kiss. This will make the change more impactful and emphasize Marty's role in shaping his own destiny.

6. Use specific language and descriptions to enhance the dance number: Instead of using generic terms like "the band plays" and "the kids start dancing," use more specific language to describe the music, the dance moves, and the reactions of the crowd. This will make the scene more dynamic and engaging for the reader.

7. Consider adding in more reactions and interactions from secondary characters: While the focus is on Marty, George, and Lorraine, including reactions and interactions from other characters in the gymnasium will add depth and richness to the scene. Show how the other students, teachers, and even Mr. Strickland, are reacting to the dance number and Marty's performance.

8. Develop the phone call scene with Marvin Berry: Expand on the scene with Marvin Berry making the phone call to Chuck. Include more dialogue and detail about their conversation to show the significance of the call and how it contributes to the overall story. This will add a sense of anticipation and excitement for what comes next.

By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance the scene and make it more engaging and impactful for the audience.

Scene 29 -  The Final Showdown
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

It*s 4 minutes before 10:00.


BROWN, wearing the trenchcoat, paces back and forth anxiously. The wind is picking up,
and we hear DISTANT THUNDER. The entire “lightning rod setup” is complete, with the
cable strung across the street between the two lampposts. Brown checks his wristwatch:

Damn! Where is that kid?

Brown pulls out a pocket watch and checks it: 9:56.


Brown checks a wristwatch on his other wrist. It*s 9:56.


At last, the PACKARD pulls up across the street from the tarped DeLorean. Marty jumps
out, dressed in his 1985 clothes.
You*re late! Do you have no concept of time?

Brown pulls the tarp off the DeLorean and raises the “trolley hook” on back to its full height.

Take it easy, Doc! I had to change my clothes. Everything*s cool — they*re
back together...and here*s the proof.

Marty shows him the fully restored snapshot.

Yeah, old George really came through. Laid out Biff with one punch — cold
cocked him... and I had to miss it. I never knew he had it in him. Hell, my old
man*s never stood up to Biff in his life.

Brown opens the DeLorean door.

All right, let*s set your destination time. This is the exact time you left...


On a readout labeled “Last Time of Departure” is “OCTOBER 5, 1985, 1:11 A.M.”

144 BROWN 144
punches the appropriate keypad.

Let*s send you home 10 minutes later...

144 INSERT 144

The readout labeled “Destination Time” lights up to read “OCTOBER 5, 1985, 1:21 A.M.”
We can see that the two readouts differ by 10 minutes.


Ten minutes isn*t long enough for you to be missed. Now, I*ve painted a
white line on the street up there — that*s where you start from.
I*ve calculated the precise distance, taking into account the acceleration
speed and wind resistance retroactive from the moment the lightning will

He picks up a WIND-UP ALARM CLOCK.

When this alarm goes off, you hit the gas.

Brown gives it a wind, then sets it on the DeLorean dashboard.
Brown looks around, then sighs.

Well, I guess that*s everything.

Marty extends his hand.

Doc, thanks for everything.

They shake hands.

Thank YOU. I*ll see you in about 30 years.

Marty sighs, again thinking of Brown *s destiny and the letter.

I... I hope so.

Don*t worry. As long as you hit that wire with this hook, everything*ll be fine.


Brown puts his hands in his pockets and withdraws the letter Marty put there. He looks at it
curiously. Marty turns away.

What *s the meaning of this?

You*ll find out in 30 years.

It*s about the future, isn*t it? Information about the future?

You*ll find out in 30 years.

I warned you about this, kid. The consequences could be disastrous.

You*ve gotta take that risk, Doc. Your life depends on it.

(shakes his head)
No. I*m not going to accept the responsibility.

Brown tears up the envelope and shoves the pieces into the Packard ashtray.

All right, Doc, in that case, I*ll just have to tell you straight out—
But before Marty can get the words out, a TREMENDOUS GUST OF WIND comes up
accompanied by a loud CRACK! They turn: A TREE LIMB in the square has blown down
right on top of the cable between the clock tower and the first lamp post!

The paddle-plug attached to the lightning rod on the clock tower is yanked out, and the
cable drops down from the clock tower!

Great Scott! Kid — find the end of that cable — I*ll throw the rope down to

Brown grabs a big coil of rope and dashes into the courthouse.

Marty gulps. He takes a look at the fallen tree branch on the cable, then goes hunting for
the end of it.

The wind is picking up, and the sound of THUNDER approaches.


Brown charges up the several flights of stairs like a madman!


Marty pulls in the cable, hunting for the end of it. At last he finds it. He looks up at the clock


A DOOR opens up, giving access to the ledge below the clock. BROW N steps out. His hair
blows wildly in the wind, and lightning flashes in the distance. He looks up.

149 BROWN*S P.O.V. OF 149
the CONNECTING SOCKET, dangling on its cable between the “1” and “2” on the huge
clock face. Its other end is attached to the lightning rod on the tower above.

150 BROWN 150
looks down.

151 BROWN*S P.O.V. OF 151
MARTY, 5 stories below, waving with the paddle plug in hand.

152 BROWN 152
tosses one end of the rope down. The coil unravels.
Genres: []

Summary Marty and Doc attempt to set the time for Marty to return home in the DeLorean. Doc hesitates to accept a letter from the future, causing tension between them. Before Marty can reveal the contents of the letter, a tree limb falls on the cable connecting the clock tower and the lightning rod. Doc instructs Marty to find the end of the cable while he prepares to climb the clock tower.
Strengths "High stakes, tense atmosphere, compelling plot developments"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue could be stronger"
Critique Overall, the scene effectively sets up the tension and urgency of the situation. The use of different timepieces to emphasize the passing time adds to the sense of urgency and helps establish the importance of precise timing. The dialogue between Brown and Marty feels natural and showcases their respective personalities.

One area for improvement is the use of repeated dialogue. The repetition of "Damn!" and Marty saying "You'll find out in 30 years" multiple times feels excessive and doesn't add much to the scene. Streamlining the dialogue and cutting out unnecessary repetition could help improve the pacing and maintain the tension of the scene.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and build tension. Descriptions of the wind picking up, distant thunder, and the lightning flashing in the distance would help create a more immersive experience for the reader.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys the urgency and stakes of the situation, but could benefit from streamlining the dialogue and adding more immersive visual descriptions.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Condense the repetitive dialogue: The multiple instances of Brown saying "Damn!" and Marty saying "Yeah, old George really came through" can be condensed or removed altogether to make the scene more efficient and concise.

2. Streamline the dialogue: Some of the dialogue exchanges between Brown and Marty feel redundant or overly explanatory. Consider trimming down the dialogue to its essential information and making it more natural and organic.

3. Increase the urgency and tension: Add more urgency to the scene by emphasizing the approaching thunderstorm and the consequences of not completing the task in time. Use descriptive language to paint a vivid picture of the storm and the rush to get the cable connected.

4. Enhance the visual elements: Describe the setting and the details in a more visual and vivid manner to help the reader visualize the scene. Add more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment.

5. Increase the emotional stakes: Emphasize the emotional connection between Brown and Marty by highlighting their bond and the significance of their actions. Show their concern for one another and their determination to succeed.

6. Strengthen the conflict: Make the conflict between Brown and Marty regarding the letter more pronounced and impactful. Increase the tension between them and make the decision to tear up the envelope more dramatic.

By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance the pacing, tension, and emotional impact of the scene to make it more engaging for the audience.

Scene 30 -  Race Against Time
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

The rope drops to the ground.

Marty runs over, grabs it, and ties it to the paddle plug. He waves back to Brown.

154 BROWN 154
nods and starts pulling the rope with the cable back up.
155 MARTY 155
watches anxiously as the cable goes back up. He yells up at Brown.

Doc! I gotta tell you about the future!

who can barely hear him.


157 The future! On the night I travel back in time, the terrorists show up and you 157

158 BONG! It*s exactly 10:00 — and the CLOCK BELLS STRIKE TEN! Marty can*t be heard 158
over the sound!

Brown almost loses his balance with the huge bells tolling so close! He regains his footing,
then pulls the rope up the rest of the way. He*s got the paddle plug in hand.

Brown yells at Marty, but he can*t be heard over the bells. Brown gestures that he*s got the
cable and that Marty should go.

159 MARTY 159
hesitates, but Brown gestures adamantly. At last Marty nods and runs to the DeLorean.

160 BROWN 160
unties the rope from the end of the paddle plug and looks up at its socket mate dangling on
the clock face. He reaches up for it, but he can*t quite get it. He *ll have to move across the
ledge to get closer to it.

161 MARTY 161
climbs into the DeLorean and closes the gull wing door.


Marty turns the key in the ignition and revs it up. He puts the car in gear.


The DeLorean takes off.


Brown looks down and sees the DeLorean heading down the street. Brown moves along
the ledge. He reaches up but he*s still not close enough to grab the dangling socket.
Lightning and thunder move ever closer.

165 EXT. STREET 165

The DeLorean passes a hand-painted white line on the street — Brown has also painted
the words “START HERE” for Marty*s benefit. Marty makes a U-turn and pulls up to it, like
a starting line.

Marty has an anxious expression on his face.

Dammit, Doc, why*d you have to tear up that letter? If only there was a little
more time—

Marty glances down at the 2 readouts, “Destination Time,” and “Last Time Departed.”


The “Destination Time” is set for “1:21 A.M.,” 10 minutes later than the “Last Time
Departed,” which is at “1:11 A.M.”

168 MARTY 168
has an idea.

More time! I*ll give myself some more time!

He pushes the appropriate buttons on the keypad.


The “minutes” indicator on the “Destination Time” begins counting backwards:


Brown, with the cable in his left hand, moves a little further along the ledge.

Suddenly, the ledge CRACKS and CRUMBLES beneath his feet! Brown drops the cable
and grabs onto the CLOCK HANDS to save himself! The cable drops onto his left foot!

Brown hangs precariously from the clock face like Harold Lloyd, wind blowing his hair, and
lightning, cracking in the sk y!

Brown carefully moves his right foot toward the intact section of ledge while trying to keep
the cable balanced on his left foot.

His right foot moves closer... at last it finds safe footing. Brown takes a deep breath, then
hops over onto the ledge.

He kicks the cable up with his left foot and catches it in his hand.

He sighs relief. Everything is all right. He reaches up with his right hand and is able to grab
the dangling socket.


Marty is still fiddling with destination time.

The destination time drops back to 1:12... 1:11... 1:10... 1:09... 1:08... 1:07—

Suddenly the engine dies!

173 MARTY 173
tries to restart it but it won*t turn over.

Come on, come on...!


Brown has the plug in his left hand, the socket in his right. He brings them toward each
other to plug them in — but they won*t reach! Both ends are taut, but he*s about a foot

Brown looks down.

175 HIS P.O.V. OF 175
the tree limb caught on the cable — which is the reason there*s no slack!

176 BROWN 176
jerks the end of the cable, trying to free it from the limb.

caught on the limb as Brown tries to disengage it.

178 Brown can*t free it. His face takes on intense determination, exaggerated by the wind and 178
lightning. He gives the cable a tremendous yank.

179 The cable jerks free from the tree — but THE PLUG AT THE OTHER END IS 179

180 BROWN reacts with horror. He now has a useless plug in his hand. Lightning cracks even 180


Marty is still trying to get the car restarted.

Now the ALARM CLOCK rings!


At last the engine roars to life!

Marty switches THE TIME CIRCUITS ON!

The various indicators LIGHT UP!

Marty puts the car in gear.
Marty*s FOOT hits the gas pedal.

182 EXT. STREET 182

The DeLorean peels out!


Brown looks at the two cables in his hand, and the loose end below: how can he get
everything connected? Suddenly he realizes what he must do. He ties the two of them
tightly together, then plugs them in.


The DeLorean accelerates...


It passes 40 mph.


Brown tests the tied connected cable ends to make sure they won*t come apart: they*re
secure. He takes a deep breath, then grips the line tightly. HE JUMPS!


Brown drops down to the ground! He runs with the cable toward the lamp post!
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Marty and Doc attempt to set the time for Marty to return home in the DeLorean. Doc hesitates to accept a letter from the future, causing tension between them. Before Marty can reveal the contents of the letter, a tree limb falls on the cable connecting the clock tower and the lightning rod. Doc instructs Marty to find the end of the cable while he prepares to climb the clock tower.
Strengths "The scene is full of tension and suspense as Marty and Doc race against time to connect the cables. The action and urgency keep the audience engaged."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more impactful and there could have been more development in the characters' emotions and motivations."
Critique Overall, this scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Marty and Brown work to get the cable connected on the clock tower. The intercutting between their actions adds to the sense of urgency and communicates the difficulty they face in communicating with each other.

One suggestion for improvement would be to provide more visual description to enhance the reader's understanding of the action. For example, when Brown is climbing along the ledge to reach the socket, it would be helpful to describe the physical obstacles he encounters and how he overcomes them. This would make the scene more visually engaging and easier for the reader to follow.

Additionally, the dialogue between Marty and Brown could be more focused and concise. The conversation about the future and tearing up the letter could be simplified to convey the same information in a more succinct manner.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation, but could benefit from more visual description and streamlined dialogue.
Suggestions Suggestions for improving the scene:

- Clarify Marty's urgency and anxiety as he watches the cable go back up. Include more specific actions and reactions to show his desperation and the importance of what he needs to tell Brown.

- Add dialogue between Marty and Brown as they communicate during the scene. This will help make their connection and communication clearer to the audience.

- Heighten the tension and danger for Brown as he tries to reach the dangling socket. Utilize descriptions of the weather, lightning, and winds to enhance the suspense.

- Increase the stakes for Marty in the DeLorean by adding more urgency and pressure as he tries to start the car and manipulate the destination time. Show his frustration and desperation as time is running out.

- Make the sequence of events clearer when Brown reaches the socket and the cable gets disconnected. Describe the horror and disappointment on Brown's face to emphasize the gravity of the situation.

- Add more sensory details and action to the scene to make it more visually engaging and impactful. For example, describe the sound of the alarm clock ringing and the engine roaring to life, and the sight of Marty's foot hitting the gas pedal.

- Enhance the visuals of Brown sliding down the cable to add excitement and tension to his rescue. Describe the speed and intensity of his descent to make it more thrilling for the audience.

- Consider adding a reaction shot or moment for Marty when he sees Brown successfully reaching the lamp post. This will show his relief and gratitude for Brown's daring feat.

By implementing these suggestions, the scene will be more dynamic, suspenseful, and visually engaging, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Scene 31 -  Race Against Time
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
188 EXT. STREET 188

The DELOREAN approaches the square!


Marty drives with determination.

190 THE SPEEDOMETER passes 65. 190

191 MARTY*S P.O.V. OF 191
the approaching wire strung across the street.

192 EXT. STREET 192

BROWN gets to the plug end of the cable! It*s dislodged from the tree limb, so he has
enough slack. He races to the lamp post and the dangling socket.

193 THE DELOREAN continues accelerating! 193



The INDICATOR LIGHTS behind MARTY begin registering.
195 EXT. STREET 195

BROWN grabs the socket cable and PLUGS HIS CABLE IN!






The connecting cable becomes electrified!

The DeLorean passes under the cable between the lamp posts.

The trolley hook on the DeLorean MAKES CONTACT with the electrified cable!


199 EXT. STREET 199

The DeLorean*s time coils light up and the vehicle is sent BACK TO THE FUTURE!

200 DR. BROWN 200
lets out a whoop of delight and relief as he*s drenched by the deluge.

has wrenched the trolley pole out of the rear of the DeLorean. It*s left there, swinging from
the cable.

202 BROWN 202
looks up at the clock tower.

203 THE CLOCK 203
is stopped at 10:02

Lightning crack s behind it and we


204 THE CLOCK — OCTOBER 5, 1985 — NIGHT 204

The storm dissolves away into an ordinary night sky. The clock tower shows 30 years of
additional age...


HILL VALLEY TOWN SQUARE, as we saw it in the beginning. All is quiet — it *s late.

is asleep on a bench. Suddenly his hair begins to stand on end...
He*s lit by an OFFSCREEN FLASH OF LIGHT, accompanied by a SONIC BOOM and a

We hold on him as we hear a SCREECH OF TIRES and an OFFSCREEN CRASH.
The BUM awakens and looks up to see...


There is a big hole in the front of what used to be the theater.
Suddenly, THE DELOREAN backs out and onto the street!

207 THE BUM 207
shakes his head.

Crazy drunk driver.

He goes back to sleep.


MARTY looks at the readouts.


“Present Time” now matches “Destination Time” at OCTOBER 5, 1985, 1:07 A.M. “Last
Time Departed” is now MARCH 26, 1955; 10:02 P.M.”

210 MARTY 210
is delighted.

All right!

He turns on the car radio. A contemporary ROCK TUNE comes on.


All right!

He puts the car into forward gear. THE ENGINE DIES!

Aw, shit!

He tries to start it again, but he can*t get it to turn over.

Come on, come on—

He looks up and sees out the windshield...


THE TERRORIST VAN, cruising down the street and around a corner.
212 MARTY 212
is horrified.

The terrorists!
(tries starting the car again)
Damn, it*s frozen! *


Marty gets out of the DeLorean and runs like hell down the street after the terrorist van.

Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Marty and Doc attempt to set the time for Marty to return home in the DeLorean. Marty realizes his actions have changed the future. Marty convinces the band to continue playing so George and Lorraine can fall in love.
Strengths "Exciting race against time, strong plot development, high stakes."
Weaknesses "Limited character development, average dialogue."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, here are some critiques for the scene:

1. Lack of description: The scene lacks sufficient description to help visualize the action. For example, when the lightning strikes the clock tower, it would be more impactful to describe the tower shaking or the surroundings being illuminated by the lightning.

2. Dialogue: The dialogue between the BUM and Marty feels a bit generic and lacks depth. It could be more engaging if there was more specific interaction or a memorable line.

3. Lack of tension: The scene where Marty is trying to start the car and realizes the terrorists are approaching could benefit from more tension. Building up the suspense through editing, sound design, or camera angles could heighten the urgency of the moment.

4. Continuity issue: At the beginning of the scene, the DeLorean is described as driving with determination, but then the engine dies shortly after. It would be more consistent if there was a reason or explanation for the sudden engine failure.

5. Lack of emotional response: Marty's reaction to the DeLorean not starting is brief and lacks emotional depth. Adding a moment of frustration or desperation could enhance the audience's connection to the character.

6. Visual cues: There is potential to use more visual cues to enhance the scene. For example, rather than simply stating Marty is horrified when seeing the terrorists, there could be a close-up shot of his face or his body language could convey his fear more effectively.

Overall, this scene has potential, but there are areas where it could be strengthened to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the audience.
Suggestions Overall, this scene seems to be well-written and exciting. However, here are a few suggestions to enhance it further:

1. Clarify the action: In some parts of the scene, it is not entirely clear what is happening. For example, in line 194, it would be helpful to specify what the "INDICATOR LIGHTS" are registering. Additionally, in line 211, it could be clarified that Marty sees the terrorist van through the windshield of the DeLorean.

2. Build tension: To heighten the suspense of the scene, consider adding more sensory details and descriptions. For example, when the lightning strikes in line 197, describe the booming sound, the blinding light, and the crackling energy in the air.

3. Character reactions: Highlight the emotions and reactions of the characters in the scene. For instance, in line 200, instead of simply stating that Dr. Brown lets out a whoop of delight and relief, show his excitement through specific actions or dialogue.

4. Smooth transitions: Ensure that the transitions between different actions and locations flow smoothly. For example, in line 201, it is not clear how the cable across the street causes the trolley pole to be wrenched out of the DeLorean. Consider adding a brief description or action to clarify this.

5. Visualize the settings: Provide more vivid descriptions of the settings to help the reader visualize the scene. For example, in line 204, describe the ordinary night sky and the additional age of the clock tower in more detail.

These suggestions should help improve the clarity, tension, and visualization of the scene, ultimately creating a more engaging and impactful sequence.

Scene 32 -  Saving Doc Brown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

as MARTY arrives at the Mall. He keeps on running, past the entrance sign that reads
“LONE PINE MALL” (with an image of a single pine tree), into the parking lot, just in time to *
see, a good 150 yards away... *

215 MARTY*S P.O.V. OF 215

the Terrorist van chasing down Dr. Brown — with Marty*s younger self watching frozen in

216 MARTY 216
is both horrified and amazed — horrified at being too late; amazed at seeing himself, and
to be seeing something he*s already experienced from a third person point of view.

Oh, God, no, I*m too late!

217 HIS P.O.V. 217

The Terrorist leans out of the van with the machine gun.

Dr. Brown, you American dog, you have betrayed our cause! For that you

He BLASTS Dr. Brown in the chest. Brown goes down. Everything is as it already

218 MARTY 218

Oh, no!

219 HIS P.O.V. 219

The Terrorist van turns and goes after the younger Marty. Just as before, Marty dives into
the DeLorean and roars off.

220 MARTY 220
watches himself chased by the terrorists.
221 HIS P.O.V. 221

The DeLorean accelerates, even as it *s being shot at, going faster and faster until it*s
enveloped in the BLINDING WHITE GLOW and vanishes!

But the terrorist van drives into the white glow; we hear cursing as the blinded driver loses
control of the van. It swerves and goes out of control, hitting a parking median and flipping
over on its side.

222 MARTY 222
now runs toward the fallen Dr. Brown, lying face down in the parking lot.

He reaches him, along with EINSTEIN the faithful dog.

Marty turns Brown over, tears in his eyes.

Doc, no...


You*re alive!

Brown stands.

Of course, I*m alive.

But you were shot — I saw it! I saw it twice!

Brown rips open his radiation suit revealing a BULLET PROOF VEST.

It*s the latest fashion in personal protection. It*ll stop a slug from an
elephant rifle at 30 yards.

But how did you know?

Brown smiles, reaches into his pocket and pulls out the LETTER THAT MARTY WROTE
— SCOTCH TAPED TOGETHER! It*s yellow and brittle: 30 years old!

(smiles, shaking his head)
After all that lecturing about screwing up future events and the space-time

Yeah, well, I figured, what the hell.



The DeLorean pulls up to the darkened house.

The gull wing passenger door opens and Marty gets out. Brown is driving and Einstein
takes Marty*s seat. Marty turns to talk to Brown.


So how far ahead are you going?

I figure I*ll take it slow at first.. .go about 30 years, just to get my feet wet;
then maybe see what*s shaking in the 22nd or 23rd century.

Well... good luck. And if you get a chance, look me up. I*ll be... 47 years old.

I will. Funny... I had to wait 30 years to catch up to you. Now you*ve gotta *
wait 30 years to catch up to me. Ain*t life weird. *

Brown gives him a wink. Marty closes the door.


Marty waves Brown off and heads toward his front door.

In the background, the DeLorean zooms off, and we see light from the offscreen TIME
TRAVEL GLOW. Marty is hit by the sharp blast of wind.



MARTY is on top of the bed, asleep in his clothes. Morning light streams in through the *
bedroom window; he stirs and opens his eyes. He blinks several times, as if getting his
bearings, then sits up and looks around.

Yes, it*s his room all right, and everything seems the same, from the Z-28 posters to his
audio equipment.

Marty looks at the clock: 8:30. He looks at the wall calendar: the first four days of October
are X*ed off — today is the 5th. Could it have all been a dream?

He gets out of bed and looks at himself in the mirror, then pinches himself to make sure *
he*s real. He is. On the nightstand is a framed 5 x 7 version of the snapshot with he and
his siblings. it looks the same.

He reaches into his waste can and pulls out the SUBMISSION FORM TO THE RECORD *
COMPANY. He looks at it, then decisively pulls the CASSETTE TAPE out of his drawer, *
and puts it in the envelope with the form. *

MARTY comes out of his room with the envelope. He goes down the hall and stops short *
as he enters *
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Marty arrives at the mall and sees the terrorist van chasing down Doc Brown. Marty watches as Doc is shot and Marty's younger self narrowly escapes in the DeLorean. The van drives into a white glow and crashes. Marty rushes to Doc's side, only to discover that he survived due to wearing a bulletproof vest. Doc reveals a letter from Marty that he received 30 years earlier. The police sirens approach and Marty and Doc leave in the DeLorean.
Strengths "Intense action, emotional impact"
Weaknesses "Dialogue could be stronger"
Critique The following scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and excitement of the moment. The visual descriptions are clear, allowing the reader to visualize the action easily. The dialogue is also strong, capturing the emotions of the characters and advancing the story.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon. Firstly, the scene could benefit from more precise and specific language to enhance the imagery and create a vivid visual experience. For example, instead of using generic terms like "good 150 yards away," consider using more specific details to describe the distance and create a sense of scale.

Additionally, the pacing of the scene could be improved by breaking up some of the longer paragraphs. This would make the scene feel more dynamic and help to maintain the reader's attention. For example, in paragraph 221, the description of the DeLorean accelerating and being shot at could be broken into separate sentences or paragraphs.

Furthermore, while the dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and advances the story, there may be an opportunity to add more subtext and depth to their conversations. This could be achieved by incorporating subtle hints or allusions to the characters' motivations, desires, or conflicts.

Overall, the scene is well-crafted and effectively conveys the excitement and tension of the moment. However, by incorporating more precise language, improving the pacing, and adding subtext to the dialogue, the scene could become even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual details: Describe the surroundings of the Mall to give the reader a better sense of the setting. Include details about the lighting, sounds, and atmosphere.

2. Clarify the action: Instead of saying Marty arrives at the Mall and keeps running, specify why he is running and what he is running from. This will create a sense of urgency and suspense.

3. Develop Marty's emotions: Show Marty's emotions more explicitly when he sees the Terrorist van chasing Dr. Brown. Describe his expressions and reactions in more detail to convey his horror and amazement.

4. Build tension: Use shorter sentences and more vivid language in the dialogue between the Terrorist and Dr. Brown to create a tense atmosphere. Also, consider adding more physical action to show the danger in the scene.

5. Show more reaction shots: Include reaction shots of Marty throughout the scene to emphasize his emotions and the impact of the events unfolding.

6. Add more suspenseful moments: Draw out the chase scene by describing Marty's actions as he attempts to evade the terrorists. Include more details about the obstacles he faces and how he overcomes them, while maintaining a sense of danger.

7. Add a moment of relief or surprise: After the van flips over, consider adding a beat where Marty and Dr. Brown believe they are safe, only to have another unexpected event occur. This will keep the audience engaged and create a sense of unpredictability.

8. Show the aftermath: Slow down the pace after the chase scene to show the emotional impact on Marty as he discovers that Dr. Brown is still alive. Describe their reunion in more detail and highlight their emotions.

9. Add more depth to Dr. Brown's character: Use his dialogue and actions to further explore his motivation for wearing a bulletproof vest and keeping the letter taped together. This will add depth to his character and make him more interesting to the audience.

10. Enhance the closing scene: Add more poignancy to the final scene by describing Marty's realization that everything might have been a dream. Include more details to show the impact of this realization on him and his decisions.

Scene 33 -  Homecoming Surprise
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

LINDA and DAVE are seated at the dining room table which has been beautifully set for
breakfast. The 5 table settings are elegant; Dave is eating a half of grapefruit; Linda has *
eggs benedict. Dave is wearing an expensive tailored suit and reads the business section
of the morning paper.

Say, are we having company or something?

Not that I know of.

Dave, aren*t you working today?

Sure, I always work on Saturday.

Then what*s with the fancy suit?

(confused, doesn*t understand)
Marty, are you all right?

Yeah. Are YOU guys all right?

Sure, never better. Here, let me take that — I*ll mail it from the office.

Dave takes Marty*s envelope. *

Marty nods uneasily and takes his place at the table. A bowl of fresh strawberries is waiting
for him.

Now GEORGE and LORRAINE enter from outside. They*re tanned and healthy in TENNIS
OUTFITS with tennis rackets. George carries himself with an air of confidence, and
Lorraine looks terrific — thin and svelte, radiantly healthy and positive. This is a happy

Marty can*t believe how good his mother looks.

Mom! You look — great!!

Why, thank you, Marty. Say, tonight*s the big night, right? Your big date with
Suzy Parker? Such a nice girl, I sure like her. *
(can*t believe it’s his mother talking)
Pardon me, Ma?

You*re going up to the lake tonight, aren*t you? Haven*t you been planning
it for 2 weeks?

Mom, we went through this last night. How can I go if Dad*s car is wrecked?

Wrecked? There*s nothing wrong with my car. In fact, Biff is out there
waxing it right now.


George opens the curtains, revealing BIFF waxing a new LINCOLN CONTINENTAL in the
driveway. Biff is working diligently; his rough edges and arrogance are all gone.

George opens the window.

Hey, Biff, don*t forget to wax the inside of the wheel covers. You forgot that
last time.

(friendly, eager to please)
Yes, sir, you*re the boss, sir!

229 Marty is absolutely astonished. 229

(sitting back down)
Some employees will get away with murder if you don*t stay on ‘em. I*ve
had to keep him in line ever since high school. Although if it wasn*t for him,
your mother and I would have never met.

Yeah, Dad, you*ve told us a million times: you beat him up when he was
bothering Mom and that*s how the two of you fell in love.

It was more than that. Your father literally came to my rescue. (sighs) It was
so romantic!

(rolls her eyes)
Cornball city.

Marty nods with complete understanding.

(calls into the kitchen)
Bertha, how about bringing Marty his French Toast?
A uniformed MAID ENTERS with a tray and sets a lovely plate of French Toast in front of
Marty. Marty is too dumbfounded to speak.

Well, Bertha, you won*t have to put up with that tiny kitchen much longer.

When will the new house be ready, sir?

Just as soon as they finish painting the tennis court and re-tiling the
swimming pool. It*ll be sad to leave this place, though. So many memories...
of you kids, and of my days as a struggling writer.


Oh, Mr. McFly, this just came in: It*s the British edition of your current best
seller. How many has it sold so far? A million?

230 INSERT — BOOK 230

It*s called “A MATCH MADE IN SPACE,” and the cover shows a bedroom with a space
alien talking to a couple in bed — very reminiscent of Marty*s “Darth Vader” visitation to
George. The style indicates it *s a science-fiction romance novel. The author*s name,
GEORGE McFLY, is in big letters.

231 BACK TO SHOT 231

Two million, hard cover.

Oh, Marty — here*s your keys. Your car is all waxed and ready for tonight.

Biff tosses him a set of keys.

My car?

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Marty returns home to find that his actions in the past have dramatically changed his family's lives. George is now a successful author, Lorraine is confident and healthy, and Biff is a changed man. Marty is shocked by the new reality and struggles to comprehend what has happened.
  • Surprising twist in the story
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Lack of high stakes
  • Limited conflict
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys important information about the characters and the changes in their lives. However, there are a few areas that could use some improvement.

1. Dialogue: The dialogue feels a bit unnatural and expositional at times. For example, when Marty's mother comments on his upcoming date, it feels forced and serves only to provide information to the audience. Consider finding more subtle ways to convey this information.

2. Action and description: The action and description could be more concise and focused. Some details, such as Marty's mother looking great and the presence of fresh strawberries, don't contribute much to the scene and could be trimmed to improve pacing.

3. Characterization: While the dialogue and actions of the characters give us a sense of their new lives, there could be more depth and specificity in their reactions. Marty's astonishment at his mother's appearance could be shown in a more visceral and authentic way, and his father's reaction to his success as a writer could be explored more fully.

4. Visual storytelling: The visuals in this scene could be utilized more effectively to enhance the storytelling. For example, instead of just telling us that Biff is waxing a car, show us the transformation of Biff's character through his behavior and attitude.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the new reality for the characters and their changed circumstances. With some refinement in the dialogue and action, and a focus on deeper characterization and visual storytelling, it could become an even stronger scene in the screenplay.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the time and place: Start the scene with an exterior shot of the house to establish the location and time of day. This will provide context for the following dialogue.

2. Show instead of tell: Instead of explicitly stating that the table settings are elegant, show their elegance through specific details such as fine china, polished silverware, and a floral centerpiece.

3. Add more action: Consider incorporating more physical actions to make the scene visually interesting. For example, show Dave and Linda interacting with their food and the newspaper, Marty's surprised expression, and George and Lorraine entering the room.

4. Provide character motivations: Give clearer reasons for why Dave is dressed in a fancy suit and Marty's confusion about it. This can help create depth and build tension between the characters.

5. Strengthen dialogue: Make the dialogue more natural and engaging. Consider adding more subtext and emotional undertones to the conversations, especially between Marty and his parents. This will make the interactions feel more authentic and compelling.

6. Enhance the visual contrast: Highlight the physical transformation of George, Lorraine, and Biff through their appearances and actions. This will visually emphasize the changes that have occurred in Marty's family and add layers to the story.

7. Consider adding more conflict: Explore potential conflicts or disagreements among the characters to create tension and raise the stakes. This can make the scene more dynamic and engaging for the audience.

8. Create a sense of continuity: Find ways to connect this scene to the previous and following scenes, either thematically or through character development. This will help maintain the story's coherence and ensure a smooth flow between scenes.

Scene 34 -  Back to the Future
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
232 EXT. McFLY HOUSE — DAY 232

Marty comes out of the house and opens the garage door, revealing
A TRICKED OUT BLACK SUPRA, just like he saw in the showroom. *

MARTY can*t believe it. The personalized license plate says “MARTY I.” *

Marty approaches his new car.

How about a ride, mister?

Marty turns — it*s SUZY PARKER. She looks just the same: great.
Suzy! Are you ever a sight for sore eyes! Let me look at you!

Marty looks at her, as if trying to make sure she*s real. Suzy is hard-pressed to understand
why Marty is making such a big deal about this.

Marty, are you okay? You*re acting like you haven*t seen me in a week.

I haven*t.

He pulls her toward him... they*re about to kiss... closer, closer...

And just as they kiss, their HAIR STANDS UP ON END. Marty*s eyes widen with the
inevitable expectation...

Oh, no... not again...

233 We hear a SONIC BOOM, and Marty turns — the DELOREAN STREAKS UP in front of the 233

234 DR. BROWN 234
jumps out, more wild-eyed and frantic than we *ve ever seen him. His clothes are
particularly bizarre — a weird mixture of past and future: a cowboy hat, a strange variation
on a Roman tunic, a cape, and striped plastic pants.

Marty — you*ve gotta come with me — back to the future!

Doc, I*ve got Suzy here. I was just gonna try out my new wheels.

Well, bring her along — this concerns her, too. *

Brown opens the passenger gull wing door for him. Marty and Suzy approach cautiously. *

What do you mean? What happens? *
(sudden alarm)
Does something happen to us? Do we turn into assholes or something? *

No, you and Suzy both turn out fine. But your kids, Marty — something*s
gotta be done about your kids!

Brown gets back in the DeLorean.

Marty gets in, and Suzy sits on his lap. She closes the door. *

Okay, here we go...
You*d better back this thing up, Doc. We haven*t got enough road to get up
to 88.

Where we*re going, we don*t use roads.

Brown hits a new switch on the dashboard: “WESTINGHOUSE FUSION ENERGIZER.”

236 EXT. STREET 236

The DeLorean speeds down the street, then BLASTS OFF INTO THE SKY LIKE A *

Once again, the coils glow and the DeLorean is enveloped in the familiar white glow and
disappears into the future...


Genres: ["Science Fiction","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary Marty and Doc travel to the future to fix a problem with Marty's kids. Marty is reluctant to leave his new girlfriend, but eventually agrees. They blast off into the future in the DeLorean and disappear.
  • Exciting climax
  • Romantic moment between Marty and Suzy
  • Funny dialogue
  • Lack of character development
Critique The scene has a strong opening with a clear visual description of Marty coming out of his house and opening the garage door to reveal his new car, a black Supra. The mention of the personalized license plate adds a nice detail.

The introduction of Suzy Parker and Marty's reaction to seeing her again is also well-done. It establishes their relationship and Marty's feelings towards her. However, their dialogue feels somewhat forced and unnatural. Marty's line about not having seen Suzy in a week doesn't seem to fit with the previous description of him being surprised to see her. It would be better to establish a more consistent timeline for their reunion.

The sudden appearance of the DeLorean and Dr. Brown feels somewhat rushed and contrived. The transition from Marty and Suzy's intimate moment to the introduction of time travel and the urgency of the situation could be smoother. It would be helpful to have a clearer explanation of why Suzy needs to come along on this adventure, as it is currently unclear why she is involved.

The dialogue between Marty and Dr. Brown about the future and Marty's concern about his kids is effective in conveying the stakes of the story. However, Marty's line about turning into "assholes" feels out of place and detracts from the seriousness of the moment. It could be replaced with a more impactful line that captures the gravity of the situation.

The scene concludes with a strong visual of the DeLorean speeding down the street and blasting off into the sky. The description effectively conveys the excitement and anticipation of the journey. The use of the final line, "Where we're going, we don't use roads," is a nice callback to the previous films in the franchise.

Overall, the scene has a clear objective of setting up the time travel adventure and introducing the main characters. The dialogue could be improved to feel more natural and the transitions between moments could be smoother. However, the scene effectively captures the excitement and intrigue of the story.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify Marty's reaction: Instead of saying "Marty can't believe it," show his surprise and excitement through his actions and dialogue. Have him gasp or have a wide-eyed expression on his face, and have him say something like "No way! Is this really mine?"

2. Add more emotion to Marty and Suzy's reunion: Explore their relationship further by having Marty express his feelings more explicitly. Instead of just saying "Let me look at you!," have him say something like "I've missed you so much, Suzy. I can't believe you're here."

3. Make the hair standing up moment more dramatic: Instead of just saying "And just as they kiss, their HAIR STANDS UP ON END," describe the physical sensation they experience. Use words like "electric shock" or "tingling sensation" to add more impact to the moment.

4. Enhance Doc Brown's entrance: Instead of just saying he jumps out, describe him in a more dynamic way. Use words like "bursts out" or "charges towards them" to convey his urgency and energy.

5. Develop the dialogue between Marty and Doc Brown: Instead of just having Marty express his disappointment about leaving Suzy behind, create a back-and-forth dialogue between them. Have Marty argue that he wants to spend time with Suzy and have Doc Brown provide a compelling reason for her to come along.

6. Make the stakes clearer: Instead of just saying "this concerns her, too," be more specific about why Suzy needs to come along. Have Doc Brown explain that her presence in the future is crucial for something to happen or be resolved.

7. Build tension with Marty's question: Instead of just asking if they turn into assholes, have Marty ask the question with a tone of genuine concern or fear. Use stronger language to convey his worry about their future.

8. Add more description to the DeLorean's flight: Instead of just saying it blasts off like a streak, describe the sensation and the visuals in more detail. Use words like "soaring" or "zooming" to create a sense of excitement and wonder.

9. Give a sense of closure: Instead of just fading out, consider adding a final shot or line that leaves the audience with a memorable image or feeling. It could be a shot of Marty and Suzy holding hands or a line of dialogue that sums up the journey they've been on.

10. Consider the placement in the script: Scene 34 out of 34 may be too rushed for this important moment. Consider moving it earlier in the script to give it more room to breathe and build up anticipation.