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Scene 1 -  The Usual Suspects - Scene 1
THE USUAL SUSPECTS

by

Christopher McQuarrie




FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY




Revised, 05/25/94
White Revised, 06/01/94
Blue Revised, 06/07/94
Pink Revised, 06/11/94




Converted to PDF by ScreenTalk™ Online
http://www.screentalk.org
1 BLACK 1

The lonely sound of a buoy bell in the distance. Water
slapping against a smooth, flat surface in rhythm. The
creaking of wood.

Off in the very far distance, one can make out the sound of
sirens.

SUDDENLY, a single match ignites and invades the darkness. It
quivers for a moment. A dimly lit hand brings the rest of the
pack to the match. A plume of yellow-white flame flares and
illuminates the battered face of DEAN KEATON, age forty. His
salty-gray hair is wet and matted. His face drips with water
or sweat. A large cut runs the length of his face from the
corner of his eye to his chin. It bleeds freely. An unlit
cigarette hangs in the corner of his mouth.

In the half-light we can make out that he is on the deck of a
large boat. A yacht, perhaps, or a small freighter. He sits
with his back against the front bulkhead of the wheel house.
His legs are twisted at odd, almost impossible angles. He
looks down.

A thin trail of liquid runs past his feet and off into the
darkness. Keaton lights the cigarette on the burning pack of
matches before throwing them into the liquid.

The liquid IGNITES with a poof.

The flame runs up the stream, gaining in speed and intensity.
It begins to ripple and rumble as it runs down the deck
towards the stern.

2 EXT. BOAT - NIGHT - STERN 2

A stack of oil drums rests on the stern. They are stacked on
a palette with ropes at each corner that attach it to a huge
crane on the dock. One of the barrels has been punctured at
it's base. Gasoline trickles freely from the hole. The flame
is racing now towards the barrels. Keaton smiles weakly to
himself.
2.

The flame is within a few yards of the barrels when another
stream of liquid splashes onto the gas.

The flame fizzles out pitifully with a hiss. Two feet
straddle the flame. A stream of urine flows onto the deck
from between them.

BLUE 06/01/94

The sound of a fly zipping. Follow the feet as they move over
to where Keaton rests at the wheel house.

CRANE UP to the waist of the unknown man. He pulls a pack of
cigarettes out of one pocket and a strange antique lighter
from the other. It is gold, with a clasp that folds down over
the flint. The man flicks up the clasp with his thumb and
strikes it with his index finger. It is a fluid motion,
somewhat showy.

Keaton looks up at the man. A look of realization crosses his
face. It is followed by frustration, anger, and finally
resignation.

VOICE (O.S.)
How are you, Keaton?

KEATON
I'd have to say my spine was broken,
Keyser.

He spits the name out like it was poison.

The man puts the lighter back in his pocket and reaches under
his jacket. He produces a stainless .38 revolver.

VOICE (O.S.)
Ready?

KEATON
What time is it?

The hand with the gun turns over, turning the gold watch on
its wrist upward.
3.

The sound of sirens is closer now. Headed this way.

VOICE (O.S.)
Twelve thirty.

Keaton grimaces bitterly and nods. He turns his head away and
takes another drag. The hand with the gun waits long enough
for Keaton to enjoy his last drag before pulling the trigger.

GUNSHOT

The sound of Keaton's body slumping onto the deck.

YELLOW 06/11/94

MOVE OUT ACROSS THE DECK. Below is the stream of gasoline
still flowing freely. The sound of the gasoline igniting.

The flame runs in front of us towards the barrels, finally
leaping up in a circle around the drums, burning the wood of
the pallet and licking the spouting stream as it pours from
the hole.

MOVE OUT ACROSS THE DOCK, away from the boat.

The pier to which the boat is moored is littered with DEAD
BODIES. Twenty or more men have been shot to pieces and lie
scattered everywhere in what can only be the aftermath of a
fierce fire-fight.

A BARGE COMES INTO VIEW.

On the deck of the barge is a tangle of cables and girders.
The mesh of steel and rubber leaves a dark and open cocoon
beneath its base.

MOVE INTO THE DARKNESS.

Sirens are close now. Almost here. The sound of fire raging
out of control.

SIRENS BLARING. TIRES SQUEALING. CAR DOORS OPENING. FEET
POUNDING THE PAVEMENT.
4.

MOVE FURTHER, SLOWER, INTO THE DARKNESS

Voices yelling. New light flickering in the surrounding
darkness.

SUDDENLY, AN EXPLOSION.

Then silence. TOTAL BLACKNESS.

We hear the voice of ROGER "VERBAL" KINT, whom we will soon
meet.

VERBAL (V.O.)
New York. - six weeks ago. A truck loaded
with stripped gun parts got jacked
outside of Queens. The driver didn't see
anybody, but somebody fucked up. He heard
a voice. Sometimes, that's all you need.

YELLOW 06/11/94

BOOM
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary The scene opens with Dean Keaton, a battered and injured man, on the deck of a boat. He lights a cigarette and ignites a stream of liquid, causing a fire to spread towards a stack of oil drums. Just as the flame reaches the barrels, another man urinates on the fire, extinguishing it. The unknown man approaches Keaton, reveals himself as Keyser, and shoots Keaton. The scene then transitions to a pier littered with dead bodies and a barge with a dark and open cocoon beneath it. The scene ends with an explosion and darkness. Verbal Kint narrates a story about a truck robbery in New York.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Mysterious characters
  • Unexpected twist
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of theme

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively sets a dark and intense tone, introduces intriguing characters, and includes a surprising twist, making it highly engaging and captivating.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a wounded man on a boat, facing imminent danger, and encountering a mysterious figure creates a strong sense of intrigue and suspense.

Plot: 9

The plot unfolds with a series of events that escalate tension and mystery, leading to the unexpected shooting of Keaton. The introduction of the dead bodies and the barge adds further intrigue and raises questions about what has transpired.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar tropes in the crime genre, the writer brings a fresh approach through their descriptive language and the unique details of the scene, such as the use of a match to ignite the darkness and the unexpected interruption of the flame by a stream of urine.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Dean Keaton, Keyser, and Verbal Kint are introduced with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions and the revelation of their roles in the story create intrigue and anticipation.

Character Changes: 7

While Keaton's character undergoes a change from frustration and anger to resignation before his death, it is not a significant transformation within this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is survival. He is injured and trapped on the deck of the boat, and his actions and dialogue reflect his determination to stay alive.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to escape from the boat before it explodes. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both physical and emotional. The imminent danger faced by Keaton, the confrontation between Keaton and Keyser, and the presence of dead bodies create a high level of conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is trapped and injured, facing the imminent threat of the boat exploding. The unknown man with the gun provides a clear obstacle for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Keaton is injured, facing imminent danger, and ultimately killed. The presence of dead bodies and the mysterious Keyser add to the sense of danger and intrigue.

Story Forward: 9

The scene introduces key elements of the story, such as the boat, the dead bodies, and the mysterious characters. It raises questions and propels the audience's curiosity, moving the story forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the interruption of the flame by a stream of urine. However, the overall outcome of the scene, with the protagonist being shot, is somewhat predictable in the context of the crime genre.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes emotions of tension, fear, and curiosity. The audience is invested in Keaton's fate and intrigued by the mysterious Keyser.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue between Keaton and Keyser is tense and filled with underlying emotions. It effectively conveys their relationship and adds depth to their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immediately establishes a sense of danger and mystery. The vivid descriptions and sparse dialogue create a sense of tension and intrigue, keeping the audience hooked.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The slow introduction of the setting and the protagonist's internal and external goals, followed by the climactic gunshot, creates a sense of anticipation and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting and introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, leading to a climactic moment with the gunshot.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear context and purpose. It is unclear why Keaton is injured and why Keyser Soze is there to shoot him. This lack of context makes it difficult for the audience to become invested in the scene.
  • The dialogue is sparse and lacks depth. The conversation between Keaton and Keyser Soze is brief and uninteresting.
  • The visual elements are not utilized to their full potential. The explosion at the end of the scene is not given enough weight or significance.
  • The emotional tone of the scene is flat and unengaging. There is no tension or suspense built up to the shooting of Keaton.
  • The scene could benefit from more character development and backstory. Without this, the audience is left with little investment in the characters or their fates.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context and backstory for the characters and their situation.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more engaging and meaningful.
  • Utilize the visual elements to create more tension and suspense.
  • Build up the emotional tone of the scene to make the audience invested in the characters and their fates.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to better serve the overall story and character arcs.



Scene 2 -  The Setup
3 INT. DARK APARTMENT - DAY - NEW YORK - SIX WEEKS PRIOR TO 3
PRESENT DAY

The black explodes with the opening of a door into a dark
room. Outside, the hall is filled with blinding white light.
Shadows in the shapes of men flood into the room. We can make
out men in hoods with flashlights. They are laden with
weapons.

VOICES
POLICE. SEARCH WARRANT. DON'T MOVE.

It is a blur of violent action and sound.'Beams of
flashlights cut the darkness in all directions.

FINALLY:

A dozen flashlights land on one man. He lies naked in bed,
Merging from a deep sleep. He squints at the flood of
blinding white light, more annoyed than frightened.
5.
He nearly laughs at the sound of countless guns cocking. He
is McMANUS. Age twenty-eight.

VOICE (O.S.)
Mr. McManus?

MCMANUS
Yeah.

VOICE (O.S.)
Police. We have a warrant for your
arrest.

McMANUS Will they be serving coffee downtown? Two dozen black
gloved hands grab him and yank him out of bed.

4 INT. AUTO BODY SHOP - DAY 4

An old paint mixer vibrates furiously. TODD HOCKNEY, a dark,
portly man in his thirties is working on an old Fire-bird.

A YOUNG HISPANIC KID mixes paint a few feet away. SUDDENLY,
the garage door opens TO REVEAL:

YELLOW 06/11/94

A row of five men silhouetted by the bright sun. Hockney
squints.

YELLOW 06/11/94

HOCKNEY
Can I help you?

Hockney's voice is gruff.

MAN
Todd Hockney'

Hockney reaches for something just inside the door of the
Fire-bird.

HOCKNEY
Who are you?
6.

All six men INSTANTLY PRODUCE GUNS and aim them at Hockney.

MAN
Police.

Hockney withdraws a filthy towel and wipes grease and sweat
from his forehead.

HOCKNEY
We don't do gun repair.

5 EXT. STREET - NEW YORK - DAY 5

FRED FENSTER, a tall, thin man in his thirties strolls
casually down the street. He is dressed conspicuously in a
loud suit and tie with shoes that have no hope of matching.
He smokes a cigarette and chews gum at the same time.

He happens to glance over his shoulder and notice a brown
Ford sedan with four men in it cruising along the curb. He
picks up his step a little. The Ford keeps up.

He looks ahead at the corner. He tries to look as comfortable
as he can, checking his watch as though remembering an
appointment he is late for. The Ford stays right on him.
SUDDENLY, he bolts. He gets no more than a few yards before
cars pour out of every conceivable nook and cranny. Brakes
are squealing, radios squawking, guns cocking. Fenster is
surrounded instantly. He stops short and flaps his hands on
his thighs in defeat.

6 INT. MONDINO'S RESTAURANT - DAY 6

An attractive man and woman walk quickly through the front of
a small New York cafe. They are charged with nervous, excited
energy.

YELLOW 06/11/94

The man is DEAN KEATON, a well dressed, sturdy looking man in
his forties with slightly graying hair. He looks much better
than he did in the opening scene.
7.
The woman with him is EDIE FINNERAN, age thirty-three, poised
and attractive - Easily the calmer of the two.

BLUE 06/01/94

They come to a staircase at the back of the restaurant
leading down to a dark room. Edie takes Keaton's arm and
stops him.

EDIE
Let me look at you.

Keaton is uncomfortable in his suit, or perhaps the
situation. Still, he smiles with genuine warmth. Edie
straightens his tie and picks microscopic imperfections from
his lapel.

EDIE
Now remember, this is another kind of
business. They don't earn your respect.
You owe it to them. Don't stare them down
but don't look away either. Confidence.
They are fools not to trust you. That's
the attitude.

KEATON
I'm having a stroke.

EDIE
You've come far. You're a good man. I
love you.

Keaton blinks then stammers, looking for a response. PAUSE

EDIE
Live with it.

She kisses him and runs down the steps with Keaton close
behind. Keaton playfully grabs her ass and she nearly
stumbles down the stairs.
8.
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, a group of criminals is targeted by the police. McManus is arrested in his apartment, Hockney is confronted at his auto body shop, Fenster is chased down the street and captured, and Keaton meets with Edie in a restaurant before they both leave together.
Strengths "The scene effectively establishes the tension and danger faced by the characters, and introduces the main plot of the film."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more engaging and the theme could be explored in greater depth."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the tension and danger faced by the characters, and introduces the main plot of the film.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a group of criminals being targeted by the police is a familiar one in crime thrillers, but the scene sets it up in a compelling and engaging way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the police closing in on the criminals, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and characters are familiar (police raid, criminals), the writer adds authenticity through realistic dialogue and actions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their actions and reactions in the scene reveal their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 6

There is not much character development or change in the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and not show fear or vulnerability in the face of danger.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid getting arrested or caught by the police.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as the criminals are being pursued by the police and face the threat of arrest.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces a significant threat from the police and must find a way to avoid getting arrested.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for the characters, as they face arrest and the potential loss of their criminal enterprise.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the conflict between the criminals and the police.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected events, such as the police raid and the criminals' reactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene creates tension and suspense, but does not elicit strong emotional responses.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is mostly focused on conveying information and setting up the plot, but there are some moments of wit and tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immediately introduces a sense of danger and tension, making the audience curious about what will happen next.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension through fast-paced action and dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by introducing the setting, characters, and conflict in a clear and concise manner.


Critique
  • The scene could benefit from more clarity and focus. It jumps between several different locations and characters without a clear sense of how they are connected or what their significance is to the overall story.
  • The dialogue is somewhat generic and could be more specific to each character. It also lacks subtext and nuance, which could make it more interesting and engaging.
  • The visual elements are effective in creating a sense of tension and danger, but they could be more consistent and cohesive throughout the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene is somewhat slow and could be tightened up to create more momentum and urgency.
  • The emotional tone of the scene is somewhat flat and could benefit from more variation and complexity.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the scene to focus on one or two key characters and locations, rather than jumping between several different ones.
  • Work on developing more distinct and specific dialogue for each character, with subtext and nuance that reflects their individual personalities and motivations.
  • Think about how to use visual elements more consistently and effectively throughout the scene, to create a more cohesive and impactful visual style.
  • Experiment with different pacing techniques, such as cutting between different locations or using shorter, more intense scenes to create more momentum and urgency.
  • Explore ways to add more emotional depth and complexity to the scene, such as by introducing conflicts or tensions between characters, or by revealing more about their inner thoughts and feelings.



Scene 3 -  The Meeting
7 INT. RESTAURANT - DOWNSTAIRS 7

They come to the bottom of the steps giggling and jabbing
each other. Once off the stairs they instantly transform as
though hit with cold air. They assume a cool, professional
exterior and walk two feet apart. One would look at them and
see only two business associates here to ply their trade.

They walk across the dimly lit dining room to a table in the
far corner where two men are already waiting. The first is
MR. FORTIER, age thirty-five, the other is MR. RENAULT, age
sixty. Both men are impeccably dressed with a distinguished
air. They stand and smile.

YELLOW 06/11/94

FORTIER
Edie, nice to see you.

EDIE
Sorry we're late.

FORTIER
Nonsense. Sit, please.

RENAULT
(struggling with English)
You must be Mr. Keaton.

EDIE
I'm sorry. Dean Keaton Renault's hand is
already out.

RENAULT
Monsieur Renault. A pleasure.

KEATON
How do you do?

They shake hands. Keaton takes Fortier's hand next.
9.

FORTIER
Monsieur Fortier. So nice to finally meet
you.

Everyone sits at the table. All faces are smiling.

LOW ANGLE: UNDER TABLE

Edie's hand reaches out and finds Keaton's leg. Her hand runs
high up his inner thigh and squeezes firmly. Her face is
absolutely calm, giving no hint of what her hand is doing.
Keaton smiles and clears his throat.

8 INT. MONDINO'S RESTAURANT 8

Follow a waiter past the flight of steps.

PAN DOWN TO REVEAL:

Five sets of feet arriving at the bottom. The feet in the
middle wear shoes notably nicer than the rest.

YELLOW 06/11/94

PAN UP TO REVEAL:

SPECIAL AGENT DAVID KUJAN (Pronounced Koo-yahn), U.S.
CUSTOMS. Thirtyish, dark-haired and determined.

9 SCENE DELETED 9

PINK 06/07/94

10 INT. RESTAURANT - DOWNSTAIRS 10

FORTIER
Edie brought us your proposal and I'll be
honest. We're very impressed. A bit
skeptical, I must admit, but impressed.

KEATON
Skeptical.
10.

RENAULT
We find the concept brilliant, but New
York is difficult for new restaurants.
How can we be certain that our money will
be returned in the long run?

Keaton looks at Edie and smiles confidently.

KEATON
It's simple gentlemen, design
versatility. A restaurant that can change
with taste without losing the overall
aesthetic. Our atmosphere won't be
painted on the walls.

FORTIER
This was the part of the proposal that
intrigued us, but I'm not sure I follow.

KEATON
Let's say for example -

VOICE (O.S.)
This I had to see myself.

Keaton looks up. He sees David Kujan. Behind him are the very
serious looking guys in suits. Keaton is not happy to see
them.

KEATON
Dave. I'm in a meeting.

KUJAN
Time for another one.

KEATON
This is my attorney, Edie Finneran.
(gesturing)
11.

BLUE 06/01/94

KEATON
This is Mr. Renault and Mr. Fortier.
Everyone, this is David Kujan.

KUJAN
Special Agent Kujan. U.S. Customs.
(Gestures to men behind him)
These gentlemen are with the New York
police department. You look great,
Keaton. Better than I would have thought.

RENAULT
Is there a problem, Mr. Keaton?

KUJAN
The small matter of a stolen truck-load
of guns that wound up on a boat to
Ireland last night.

Renault and Fortier's confusion is giving way to suspicion.

FORTIER
Mr. Keaton?

KEATON
If you will excuse us for a moment,
gentlemen.

KUJAN
We need to ask you some questions
downtown. You'll be quite awhile.

Renault starts to get up.

RENAULT
We should leave you to discuss whatever
this is.

KEATON
Please. Sit.
12.

Keaton stands up and throws a wad of money on the table to
cover the check. He looks at Edie. She moves to stand, but he
sits her back down with a hand on her shoulder.

KEATON
Enjoy the meal.
(To Edie)
I'LL call you.

Kujan takes him by the arm, but Keaton yanks away.

YELLOW 06/11/94

He looks out over the dozens of other faces in the
restaurant. Everyone is looking at him with some level of
surprise. If Keaton is humiliated by the whole affair, he
hides it well.
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary Dean Keaton and Edie meet with Mr. Fortier and Mr. Renault in a restaurant to discuss a proposal. However, their meeting is interrupted by Special Agent Kujan and the New York police department, who accuse Keaton of being involved in a stolen truck-load of guns. Keaton tries to handle the situation calmly but is ultimately taken away for questioning.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Unexpected interruption
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and introduces conflict, keeping the audience engaged. The dialogue is well-written and the interruption adds an unexpected twist.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a meeting between criminals and potential investors is intriguing and sets up the conflict between Keaton and the authorities.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Keaton's meeting is disrupted by the arrival of Special Agent Kujan and the accusation of his involvement in a crime.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are somewhat familiar, the writer introduces unique elements such as the presence of the U.S. Customs agent and the stolen guns, which add a fresh twist to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-defined and their actions and reactions drive the conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on the external conflict.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and hide his true emotions, despite the unexpected arrival of the U.S. Customs agent and the potential threat to his business proposal.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince Mr. Fortier and Mr. Renault to invest in his restaurant proposal and address their concerns about the return on their investment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Keaton and the authorities is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the arrival of the U.S. Customs agent and the potential threat to the protagonist's business proposal create a significant obstacle for the protagonist to overcome. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will handle the situation and what the outcome will be.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high for Keaton, as he is accused of involvement in a serious crime.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the conflict and raising the stakes for Keaton.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the arrival of the U.S. Customs agent and the stolen guns adds a new layer of conflict and raises questions about the protagonist's true intentions. The audience is unsure of how the scene will unfold and what the consequences will be.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire for success and the potential consequences of his illegal activities, as represented by the presence of the U.S. Customs agent and the stolen guns.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes tension and suspense, but the emotional impact is not the primary focus.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the tension between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a new conflict and raises questions about the protagonist's true intentions and the potential consequences of his actions. The tension and intrigue created by the unexpected arrival of the U.S. Customs agent and the stolen guns keeps the audience hooked.

Pacing: 7

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and actions are well-paced, and the scene flows smoothly from one moment to the next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It is clear and easy to read, enhancing the overall readability of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptive action lines, and dialogue formatted correctly. It effectively establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and develops the conflict.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, which can make it feel disjointed and unfocused.
  • The transitions between the different locations and characters can be jarring and confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat generic and doesn't reveal much about the characters or their motivations.
  • The visual elements, while effective in creating a sense of danger and urgency, could be more nuanced and subtle.
  • The scene could benefit from more character development and exploration of their relationships and conflicts.
Suggestions
  • Consider consolidating the different locations and characters into a more cohesive and focused scene.
  • Try to give the dialogue more depth and specificity to reveal more about the characters and their motivations.
  • Experiment with different visual techniques to create a more nuanced and layered sense of danger and urgency.
  • Spend more time developing the characters and their relationships to create a more engaging and emotionally resonant scene.



Scene 4 -  Interrogation Room
11 INT. LOCK-UP HALLWAY - NIGHT 11

A police officer steps into the frame and opens the steel
door.

FOLLOW A PAIR OF FEET as they shuffle across the cement
floor. The shoes are shabby and worn, as are the wrinkled
pants that hang too low and loose at the cuffs. The right
foot is turned slightly inward and falls with a hard limp. It
is clear that the knee does not extend fully.

The sound of a steel door opening. The bottom corner of a
steel cage comes into view. Another set of feet falls into
step with the first. Another steel door and another set of
feet. Another door, another and another. Five pairs of feet
walk single file down the hall.

The lame feet are in the front of the line. They come to
another steel door, this one solid and covered with dents and
rivets.

CRANE UP TO REVEAL:

ROGER KINT, VERBAL to his few friends. He has a deeply lined
face, making his thirty-odd years a good guess at best.
13.
From his twisted left hand, we can see that he suffers from a
slight but not debilitating palsy. Behind him are Dean
Keaton, Fred Fenster, McManus and Todd Hockney.

Verbal steps through the door, followed by the rest.

VERBAL (V.O.)
It didn't make sense that I be there. I
mean these guys were hard-core hijackers,
but there I was. At that point, I wasn't
scared, f knew I hadn't done anything
they could do me for. Besides, it was
fun. I got to make like I was notorious.

12 INT. LINE-UP ROOM 12

The five men are ushered into the room in front of a white
wall painted with horizontal blue stripes. Each has a number
at either end to denote the height of the man in front of it.
Between these lines are thinner blue lines to tell the
specific height in inches.

SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

Bright lights shine on all of them. They squint, eyes
adjusting.

Keaton leans forward a bit and looks at the men in line with
him. He shares a look of familiarity with Fenster and then
McManus. Hockney smiles at all of them.

MCMANUS
(To Keaton) )
Where you been, man?

VOICE (O.S.)
SHUT UP IN THERE. Alright, you all know
the drill. When your number is called,
step forward and repeat the phrase you've
been given. Understand?

The men all nod.
14.

VOICE (O.S.)
Number one. Step forward. Hockney takes a
step forward.

He looks directly into a mirror on the other side of the
room. It is three feet square and we can make out faint light
behind it. It is a two-way. He speaks in a complete dead-pan.

HOCKNEY
Hand-me-the-keys, you-fucking-cock-
sucker.

VOICE (O.S.)
Number two. Step forward.

McManus steps up and makes a gun with his thumb and
forefinger. He mocks criminal intensity, pointing at the
mirror. He camps up his line.

MCMANUS
Give me the keys, you motherfucking,
cocksucking pile of shit, or I'll rip off
your

VOICE (O.S.)
KNOCK IT OFF. Get back in line.

McManus steps back.

The rest of the men do their bit as Verbal speaks.

BLUE 06/01/94

VERBAL (V.O.)
It was bullshit. The whole rap was a
setup. Everything is the cops' fault. You
don't put guys like that in a room
together. Who knows what can happen?

13 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT 13

McManus sits in a chair in front of a white wall. He smiles
at someone off-screen.
15.

OVERLAPPED:

MCMANUS
This has to be embarrassing for you guys,
huh? I mean you know and I know this is a
load of shit, but at least I don't have a
captain with his dick in my ass making me
play along. That has got to suck.

VOICE (O.S.)
Are you done?

MCMANUS
Do you work for a broad? That would have
to be the worst.

VOICE (0.S.)
Are you done?

MCMANUS
Still, I guess dignity is a small pries
to pay for medical and a pension. A small
pension, mind you, but a pension
nonetheless.

VERBAL (V.O.)
They drilled us all night. Somebody was
pissed about that truck getting knocked
off and the cops had nothing. They were
hoping somebody would slip. Give them
something to go on. They knew we wouldn't
fight it because they knew how to lean on
us. They'd been doing it forever. Our
rights went right out the window. It was
a violation. I mean disgraceful.

BLUE 06/01/94

VERBAL (V.O.)
They went after McManus first. He was a
good guy. Crazy though. A top notch entry
man.
16.

VOICE (O.S.)
So where'd you dump the truck?

MCMANUS
What truck?

VOICE (O.S.)
The truck with the guns, fucko.

MCMANUS
You kill me, you really do. Where's my
phone call?

VOICE (O.S.)
Right here. Suck it out.

MCMANUS
Clever guy.

VOICE (O.S.)
You want to know what your buddy Fenster
told us?

BLUE 06/01/94

MCMANUS
Do I look stupid enough to fall for that?
Jesus Christ. Beat me if you gotta, but
no more of the candy-land tactics, man.

VOICE (O.S.)
WHERE'S THE FUCKING TRUCK?
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus, one of the criminals, tries to maintain his composure and challenges the police, while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths "The strengths of the scene include the sharp dialogue, the tension and conflict between the characters, and the effective use of the interrogation room setting to create suspense."
Weaknesses "The weaknesses of the scene include the lack of character development and emotional depth, as well as the somewhat predictable nature of the interrogation room setting."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is well-executed and effectively builds suspense and conflict. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the performances of the actors are strong. However, the scene could benefit from more character development and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of an interrogation room scene is not particularly innovative, but it is executed well in this scene. The use of the room to create tension and reveal information is effective.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the interrogation of the suspects and their reactions to the aggressive tactics of the police. The tension and conflict in the scene drive the plot forward and reveal important information.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar in the crime genre, the specific details and dialogue add a fresh and authentic touch. The characters' actions and dialogue feel realistic and true to their personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters in the scene are well-defined and their personalities come through in their interactions with the police. However, there could be more depth and development to make them more memorable.

Character Changes: 6

There is not much character change in the scene, as the focus is more on the conflict and tension between the criminals and the police.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of confidence and control despite being in a potentially threatening situation. This reflects his need to assert his own identity and protect himself from harm.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the police interrogation process without incriminating himself or his friends. This reflects the immediate challenge of avoiding legal consequences and protecting his friends.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as the criminals are being aggressively questioned by the police and are trying to maintain their innocence. The tension and conflict drive the scene forward and create suspense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the characters are faced with the challenge of navigating the police interrogation and avoiding incrimination. The audience is unsure of how the characters will handle the situation and what obstacles they will encounter.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters are being accused of a serious crime and face potential consequences. The aggressive tactics of the police increase the tension and raise the stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about the stolen truck and the characters' reactions to the interrogation. It creates suspense and raises the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a sense of mystery and raises questions about the characters' true intentions and the outcome of the interrogation. The audience is unsure of how the characters will navigate the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has some emotional impact, particularly in the defiance and resilience of the criminals in the face of the police's tactics. However, there could be more emotional depth to make the scene more impactful.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the criminals and the police.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a tense situation and raises questions about the characters' motivations and the outcome of the interrogation. The sharp dialogue and visual descriptions also contribute to the scene's engagement.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and action are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters, and sets up the conflict of the police interrogation.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict. While it sets up the events that will unfold later in the film, it doesn't provide a strong sense of tension or urgency.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat generic and lacks depth. It would benefit from more specific and character-driven exchanges.
  • The visual elements, such as the use of shadows and bright light, are effective in creating a sense of danger and urgency. However, they could be further enhanced to add more visual interest and impact.
  • The transitions between the different locations and characters could be smoother and more seamless. It feels a bit disjointed and disconnected at times.
  • The ending of the scene, with Keaton and Finneran descending a staircase to meet with someone, lacks a strong sense of anticipation or suspense. It could be heightened to create a more impactful cliffhanger.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a central conflict or obstacle that the characters must overcome in this scene. This will add tension and drive the narrative forward.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more specific to each character and their individual motivations. This will make the scene more engaging and help to further develop the characters.
  • Consider incorporating more visually striking elements or actions to enhance the sense of danger and urgency. This could include unique camera angles, dynamic lighting, or visually symbolic elements.
  • Find ways to create smoother transitions between the different locations and characters. This will help to maintain a cohesive and fluid narrative.
  • Revise the ending of the scene to create a stronger sense of anticipation or suspense. This could be achieved through a dramatic revelation or a cliffhanger moment that leaves the audience wanting more.



Scene 5 -  Interrogation Room
14 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM 14

Now Fenster is in the seat. He sweats profusely.

FENSTER
I want to call my lawyer. I don;'t know
about any truck. I was in Connecticut all
night on Friday.

VOICE (O.S.)
That's not what McManus said.
17.

OVERLAPPED:

FENSTER
Who?

VOICE (0.8.)
McManus. Be told us another story
altogether.

FENSTER
Was it the one about the hooker with
dysentery I swear , she never mentioned
money until I came.

VOICE (O.S.)
Be fold us about the truck.

FENSTER
To be honest, it was more like a
mobile home. She made a lot of money.

VOICE (O.S.)
Who took the guns off your hands?

FENSTER
Hey, are we talking about the same thing?

VOICE (O.S.)
I'm losing my patience.

BLUE 06/01/94

VERBAL (V.O.)
Fenster always worked with McManus. He
was a real tight-ass, but when it came to
the job, he was right on. Smart guy. A
gopher. Got whatever you needed for next
to nothing.

FENSTER
You guys got nothing on me. Where's your
probable cause?
18.

VOICE (O.S.)
You're a known hijacker. You're sweating
like a guilty motherfucker. That's my
p.c. Save us the time. Tell us where the
truck is.

Fenster knocks on the table.

FENSTER
HELLO? Can you hear me in the back? P.C.

He looks under his chair.

FENSTER
Where is it? I'm lookin'. It's not
happening. What's going on with that? I
want -

BLUE 06/01/94

15 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM 15

Hockney's turn in the chair. He laughs it all off.

HOCKNEY
- my lawyer. I'll have your badge,
cocksucker.

OVERLAPPED:

HOCKNEY
I know you. You don't think I know you're
on the take. This whole fucking precinct
is dirty. You don't have a fucking leg to
stand on.

VERBAL (V.O.)
Hockney was just a bad bastard. Good with
explosives. Mean as a snake when it
mattered.
19.

VOICE (O.S.)
You think so, tough guy? I can put you in
Queens the day of the hijacking.

HOCKNEY
I live in Queens. What the fuck is this?
You come into my store and lock me up in
front of my customers. What the hell is
wrong with this country? Are you guys
gonna charge me or what?

VOICE (O.S.)
You know what happens if you do another
turn in the joint?

HOCKNEY
I'll fuck your father in the shower.
Charge me, dick-head.

16 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM 16

Now Keaton sits in the chair, cool and indifferent.

VERBAL (V.O.)
Keaton was the real prize for them, for
obvious reasons.

VOICE (O.S.)
I'll charge you when I'm ready.

BLUE 06/01/94

KEATON
With what?

VOICE (O.S.)
You know damn well, dead-man.

KEATON
Hey, that was your mistake, not mine. Did
you ever think to ask me? I've been
20.

YELLOW 06/11/94

KEATON
walking around with the same face, same
name - I'm a businessman, fellas.

VOICE (O.S.)
What's that? The restaurant business? Not
anymore From now on you're in the getting-
fucked-by-us business . I'm gonna make
you famous, cocksucker. Keaton shows just
a flicker of contempt. The threat has hit
home.

KEATON
Like I said. It was all your mistake.
Charge me with it and I'll beat it. Let's
get back to the truck.

A FIST flies into the frame and connects with Keaton's jaw.
His head snaps back, blood flowing freely from his mouth.

17 DELETED 17
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus, one of the criminals, tries to maintain his composure and challenges the police, while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths "Intense atmosphere, strong conflict, gripping tension"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue could be more nuanced"

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly intense and suspenseful, with strong conflict and high stakes. The aggressive police tactics and the criminals' defiance add to the tension and create a gripping atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an interrogation room scene is not unique, but the execution and the intense atmosphere make it compelling.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the interrogation of the main characters and their defiance against the police. It is intense and keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of an interrogation room is a familiar one, the use of profanity and aggressive language in the dialogue adds a fresh and intense element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly McManus and Verbal, show resilience and defiance in the face of aggressive police tactics. Their personalities and actions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly McManus and Verbal, show resilience and defiance in the face of aggressive police tactics. Their actions and reactions showcase their strength and determination.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain their innocence and protect themselves from incrimination. This reflects their deeper need to preserve their freedom and avoid punishment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to resist the interrogation and avoid providing any incriminating information. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing, which is the pressure to confess or reveal information about a crime.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and confrontational. The aggressive tactics used by the police escalate the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is facing pressure from the interrogator to confess or provide incriminating information. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will respond and whether they will be able to resist the interrogation.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene involve the possibility of the criminals being implicated in a stolen truck-load of guns. The aggressive police tactics and the characters' defiance add to the intensity.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the conflict between the criminals and the police and raising the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience does not know how the protagonist will respond to the interrogation or how the situation will escalate. The physical altercation at the end adds an unexpected twist.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The intense atmosphere and the characters' defiance evoke strong emotions in the audience. The scene creates a sense of tension and suspense.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is confrontational and showcases the conflict between the criminals and the police. It effectively conveys the tension and defiance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense and confrontational dialogue, as well as the physical altercation at the end. The tension and conflict between the characters hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the scene engaging and suspenseful.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, and dialogue in the correct format.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with the protagonist in the interrogation room, followed by a series of exchanges between the protagonist and the interrogator. The scene ends with a physical altercation.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict. It jumps between different characters and locations without a strong narrative thread.
  • The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks depth. It mostly consists of characters denying accusations or making empty threats.
  • The actions and events in the scene are not particularly engaging or suspenseful. There is a lack of tension and excitement.
  • The visual elements, such as the use of shadows and bright light, are not effectively utilized to create a sense of danger and urgency.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or cliffhanger to keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to have a clearer focus and central conflict. Choose one character or storyline to follow and develop it more fully.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more meaningful and impactful. Give the characters distinct voices and motivations.
  • Introduce more suspenseful and engaging actions or events to heighten the tension in the scene.
  • Explore different visual techniques, such as camera angles or lighting, to create a stronger sense of danger and urgency.
  • End the scene with a cliffhanger or resolution that leaves the audience wanting more.



Scene 6 -  Interrogation Room
18 INT. CELL BLOCK 18

Keaton is brought in to a holding where he joins Fenster,
Hockney, Verbal and McManus. He sits in a corner and keeps to
himself. Fenster is in mid-tirade.

FENSTER
Somebody should do something. What is
this shit - getting hauled in every five
minutes? Okay, so I did a little time,
does that mean I get railed every time a
truck finds its way off the planet?

McManus is silently staring at Keaton, who sits on a bench,
looking away.

HOCKNEY
These guys got no probable cause.
21.

SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

FENSTER
You're fuckin' A right, no P.C. Well
screw P.C. No right. No goddamn right.
You do some time, they never let you go.
Treat me like a criminal, I'll end up a
criminal.

HOCKNEY
You are a criminal.

FENSTER
Why you gotta go and do that? I'm trying
to make a point.

KEATON
Then make it. Christ, you're making me
tired all over.

McManus looks at Keaton.

MCMANUS
I heard you were dead, Keaton.

KEATON
You heard right.

HOCKNEY
The word I got is you hung up your spurs,
man. What's that all about?

MCMANUS
What's this?

HOCKNEY
Rumor has it, Keaton's gone straight -
cleaning house. I hear he's tapping Edie
Finneran.

MCMANUS
Who?
22.

HOCKNEY
She's a heavy-weight criminal lawyer from
uptown. Big-time connected. She could
erase Dillinger's record if she tried. I
hear she's Keaton's meal ticket.
(To Keaton)
Is it true?

MCMANUS
What about it, Keaton? You a lawyer's
wife. What sort of "retainer" you giving
her?

SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

Keaton shoots McManus a fiery glare.

FENSTER
I'd say you've gotten on his main and
central nerve, McManus.

KEATON
Do your friend a favor, Fenster, keep him
quiet.

MCMANUS
You're clean, Keaton? Say it ain't so.
Was it you that hit that truck?

FENSTER
Forget him. It's not important. I was
trying to make a point.

KEATON
(Ignoring McManus)
This whole thing was a shakedown.

MCMANUS
What makes you say that?

KEATON
How many times have you been in a line-
up? It's always you and four dummies.
23.
The P.D. pays homeless guys ten bucks a
head half the time. No way they'd line
five felons in the same row. No way. And
what the hell is a voice line-up? A
public defender could get you off of
that.

FENSTER
So why the hell was I hauled in and
cavity searched tonight?

KEATON
It was the Feds. A truck load of guns
gets snagged, Customs comes down on
N.Y.P.D. for some answers - they come up
with us. They're grabbing at straws. It's
politics - nothing you can do.

FENSTER
I had a guy's fingers in my asshole
tonight.

HOCKNEY
Is it Friday already?

SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

FENSTER
Fuck you. I'11 never shit right again. So
who did it? Own up.

KEATON
I don't want to know.

MCMANUS
Nobody asked you, workin'-man.

HOCKNEY
Fuck who did it. What I want to know is,
who's the gimp?

ALL EYES suddenly turn on Verbal. He has been quietly
listening the whole time without uttering a word.
24.

KEATON
He's alright.

HOCKNEY
How do I know that? How about it, pretzel-
man? What's your story?

KEATON
His name is Verbal Kint. I thought you
guys knew him.

MCMANUS
Verbal?

VERBAL
Roger really. People say I talk too much.

HOCKNEY
Yeah, I was gonna tell you to shut up.

KEATON
We've met once or twice. Last time was
in...

VERBAL
County. I was in for fraud.

KEATON
You were waiting for a line-up then, too.
What happened with that?

VERBAL
I walked. Ninety days, suspended.

YELLOW 06/11/94

HOCKNEY
So you did it?

VERBAL
To your mother's ass.
25.

Verbal looks away from Hockney, awaiting a violent response.
Everyone slowly starts to laugh. Hockney looks as if he is
about to boil in his own skin.

KEATON
(To Hockney)
Let it go.

Verbal smiles at Keaton appreciatively. McManus stands and
walks to the toilet in the corner of the cell. He starts
taking a leak;

MCMANUS
Look, we've all been put out by this, I
figure we owe it to ourselves to salvage
a little dignity. Now Fenster and I got
wind of a possible job -

KEATON
Why don't you just calm down'

HOCKNEY
What do you care what he says?

MCMANUS
Yeah, I'm just talking here, and Hockney
seems to want to hear me out. I know
Fenster is with me -
(to Verbal)
How about you, guy?

McManus finishes pissing.

VERBAL
I'm interested, sure.

MCMANUS
There, so you see, I'm going to exercise
my right to free assembly.

McManus taps the bars of his cell and the others LAUGH.
26.

KEATON
I'm not kidding. Shut your mouth.

YELLOW 06/11/94

MCMANUS
You're missing the point.

YELLOW 06/11/94

KEATON
No, you're missing the point. Shut up. I
don't want to hear anything you have to
say. I don't want to know about your
"job". Just don't let me hear you. I want
nothing to do with any of you -
(beat)
I beg your pardon but all of you can go
to hell.

MCMANUS
Dean Keaton, gone the high road. What is
the world coming to?

McManus and Keaton stare at one another for a long and tense
moment. Finally McManus turns to the others.

MCMANUS
Forget him then.
(whispering)
Now I can't talk about this here in any
detail, but listen up...

Everyone but Keaton gravitates toward McManus's cell as he
begins to speak in low, hushed tones.

VERBAL (V.O.)
And that was how it began. The five of us
brought in on a trumped-up charge to be
leaned on by half-wits.
27.
What the cops never figured out, and what
I know now, was that these men would
never break, never lie down, never bend
over for anybody. .. Anybody.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary The main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Conflict between characters
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively creates tension and conflict through the aggressive police tactics and the challenges posed by the criminals. The high stakes of the situation add to the intensity of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of criminals being interrogated by the police is a familiar one in crime dramas, but the scene adds depth by exploring the dynamics between the characters and highlighting the unfairness of the situation.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the interrogation of the main characters and their reactions to the aggressive tactics used by the police. It effectively advances the overall plot of the screenplay.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters being in a cell block and having confrontational dialogue is not entirely unique, the specific dynamics and interactions between the characters feel fresh and authentic. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly McManus and Verbal, are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene. Their challenges to the police and their reactions to the situation reveal their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between the characters reveal their personalities and motivations, providing a foundation for potential character arcs in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to distance himself from the other characters and assert his independence. This reflects his desire to maintain his own identity and not be influenced or dragged down by the criminal activities of the others.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid getting involved in the other characters' criminal plans. He wants nothing to do with them and wants to distance himself from their activities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the aggressive tactics of the police and the challenges posed by the criminals. The tension and confrontations between the characters create a sense of conflict throughout the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is opposed to getting involved in the other characters' criminal plans. The tension and conflict between the characters create a sense of opposition and challenge.

High Stakes: 10

The high stakes of the stolen truck-load of guns and the aggressive tactics used by the police create a sense of urgency and danger in the scene. The characters' freedom and potentially their lives are at risk.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved. It sets up the challenges the characters will face and establishes the tension that will drive the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the characters' actions and dialogue keep the audience guessing about their true intentions and motivations. The unexpected twists and turns in the conversation add to the unpredictability of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits emotional responses from the audience through the tense atmosphere, the confrontations between the characters, and the unfairness of the situation. It creates a sense of empathy for the characters and their predicament.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and confrontational, reflecting the tense atmosphere of the interrogation. It effectively conveys the conflict between the characters and their frustration with the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the fast-paced and confrontational dialogue between the characters. The tension and conflict keep the audience interested and wanting to know more about the characters and their motivations.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast and energetic rhythm. The quick back-and-forth dialogue and the characters' actions keep the scene moving at a brisk pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the location, introduces the characters, and then focuses on their dialogue and actions. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
  • The dialogue feels repetitive and could benefit from more variety and depth.
  • The characters' interactions and reactions could be more nuanced and layered to add depth to the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the sense of danger and urgency.
  • The emotional tone of the scene could be more consistently tense and apprehensive.
  • The scene could benefit from a clearer resolution or cliffhanger to create anticipation for the events that will unfold later in the film.
Suggestions
  • Consider focusing the scene on a central conflict or tension between the characters to create a more engaging and cohesive narrative.
  • Revise the dialogue to give each character a distinct voice and to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Explore the characters' emotions and reactions more deeply to add layers to the scene and make it more compelling.
  • Introduce more visual elements, such as the use of shadows and bright light, to enhance the sense of danger and urgency in the scene.
  • Ensure that the emotional tone of the scene remains consistent throughout to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Consider adding a clear resolution or cliffhanger at the end of the scene to create anticipation for the events that will unfold later in the film.



Scene 7 -  Interrogation Room
19 EXT. PIER - DAY - SAN PEDRO - PRESENT DAY 19

It is morning in the aftermath of the opening scene. Harsh
sunlight shines on a line of body bags on the dock.

Police swarm everywhere, photographers are taking pictures of
the scene while a team of men in rolled up sleeves and
plastic gloves pick at the remains.

Two men on a fire boat operate a water cannon, dousing the
smoldering remains of a burned-out ships hull.

Watching this from the edge of the pier is a man in a dark
suit. He is SPECIAL AGENT JACK BAER of the F.B.I. He is tall
and fit, in his late thirties. He gazes out over the water
thoughtfully.

YELLOW 06/11/94

A UNIFORM COP trots up to him.

COP
Who are you?

Baer holds up his badge without looking at the man.

BAER
Agent Jack Baer, F.B.I. How many dead?

Before the cop can answer, Baer turns and walks along the
line of body bags.

COP
Fifteen so far. We're still pulling some
bodies out of the water.

Baer eyes the corpses on the dock, burned beyond recognition.

COP
Looking for anyone in particular?
28.

Baer looks at the cop for the first time, unamused.

BAER
I don't want any of the bodies taken away
until I've had a chance to go over this,
understood?

COP
I have to clear the scene. I've got word
direct from the Chief.

Baer lights a cigarette, only half listening.

BAER
(unimpressed)
Yes, the chief. Spooky stuff. Any
survivors?

COP
Two. There's a guy in county hospital,
but he's in a coma. The D.A. has the
other guy - A cripple - from New York I
think. Listen, the Chief said -

BAER
Excuse me.

Baer walks away from the cop, ignoring him completely. He
wanders through the carnage on the pier.

YELLOW 06/11/94

20 MT. OCEAN 20

A half mile out from the pier.

The sea is choppy, stirred by the wind. An object floats into
view a few feet away, bobbing in the water.

It is A DEAD BODY - a man, face down, wearing a CHECKERED
BATHROBE. He drifts quietly toward the open ocean.
29.

21 INT. HEARING ROOM - DAY - LOS ANGELES PRESENT 21

Verbal Kint sits in a chair in front of a microphone attached
to a tape recorder, his brow beaded with sweat.

On the wall behind him is the seal of the STATE OF
CALIFORNIA.

He is cleaner, better kept, in a well-cut suit and neatly
trimmed hair. He looks older than he did in New York - worn
down.

A flurry of voices banter off screen. Verbal's eyes follow
the voices back and forth.

VOICE #1 (O.S.)
My client offers his full cooperation in
these proceedings. In exchange, his
testimony is to be sealed and all matters
incriminating to himself are to be
rendered inadmissible.

VOICE #2 (O.S.)
The district attorney's office will
comply provided -

VOICE #1
No provisions, nothing. My clients
testimony for his immunity.

VOICE #2
May-I be frank, Counselor? I suspect your
political power as much as I respect it.
I don't know why Mr. Kint has so many
faceless allies in City Hall, and I don't
care. The embarrassment he helped cause
the city of New York will not happen
here.

VOICE #1
Immunity.
30.

YELLOW 06/11/94

VOICE #2
Counselor, I will prosecute your client.

VOICE #1
Then prosecute. I will be very impressed
to see if the District Attorney manages
to bring in twenty-seven simultaneous
counts of murder against one man with
cerebral palsy. I would think a man with
your job would agree with these alleged
"faceless people in City Hall" you
mention.

VOICE #2 1
One would think the counsel is veiling a
threat.

VOICE #1
Counsel isn't veiling anything.

VOICE #2
I'11 take my chances then. I'11 feel
safer without a job if a man like Mr.
Kint is behind bars.

VOICE #1
Mr. Kint will plead guilty to weapons
possession.

VOICE #2
You're joking.

VOICE #1
Weapons. Misdemeanor one.

VOICE #2
Counselor, you're insulting me.

VOICE #1
Counselor, you're bluffing. Shall I push
for misdemeanor two?
31.

Voices mumble off screen. Verbal fidgets in his chair.

VOICE #2
Misdemeanor one. Fine. This is ludicrous.

A tiny smile and a genuine look of disbelief flash across
Verbal's face.

YELLOW 6/11/94

22B

VOICE #2
(clearing throat)
As for the rest of the charges grand
larceny, arson... murder - the district
attorney will accept the subject's
testimony in connection with the above
mentioned events and in exchange will
offer complete immunity. The
transcript... The transcript of said
testimony will be sealed and all matters
incriminating to Mr. Kint will be
rendered inadmissible.

Verbal lets out a long-held sigh of relief.
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary The main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths "Intense conflict, sharp dialogue, high stakes"
Weaknesses "Limited character development, theme could be further explored"

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense and suspenseful, with strong conflict and high stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, an interrogation room scene with aggressive police tactics, is well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene, involving the questioning of the suspects and their resistance, is engaging and keeps the audience hooked.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar in crime dramas, the specific details and dialogue add some freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and realistic.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly McManus and Verbal, are well-developed and their actions and dialogue add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

There is some character development, particularly with McManus challenging the police, but it could be further explored.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to investigate the crime scene and gather information about the incident. This reflects his need for justice, his fear of failure, and his desire to solve the case.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to determine the number of dead bodies and gather any relevant information about the incident. This reflects the immediate challenge of investigating a crime scene and gathering evidence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. The protagonist faces some resistance from the police officer in terms of clearing the scene and gathering information, but it is not a major obstacle.

High Stakes: 10

The high stakes of the stolen truck-load of guns and the potential consequences for the characters add tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the aggressive tactics of the police and the resistance of the criminals.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces a dead body floating in the water, which adds a layer of mystery and raises questions about the incident.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension and a sense of unfairness, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful, with McManus challenging the police and Verbal narrating the unfairness of the situation.

Engagement: 7

This scene is engaging because it introduces a crime scene and a mysterious incident, and it raises questions about the protagonist's investigation and the overall plot.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective as it moves at a steady pace, balancing the description of the setting, the conversation between the characters, and the introduction of new information.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatted correctly.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the protagonist, and progresses with a conversation between the protagonist and a police officer.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
  • The transitions between the different locations and characters are abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, particularly in the exchange between Edie and Keaton.
  • The visual elements, such as the use of shadows and bright light, are effective in creating a sense of danger and urgency, but could be further developed to enhance the atmosphere.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or cliffhanger, leaving the audience wanting more but also feeling unsatisfied.
Suggestions
  • Consider narrowing down the focus of the scene to one or two key events or conflicts, rather than trying to cover multiple storylines simultaneously.
  • Work on improving the transitions between locations and characters to create a smoother flow and better connect the different storylines.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more natural and meaningful, allowing the characters to reveal their motivations and emotions more effectively.
  • Explore different visual techniques and elements to enhance the sense of danger and urgency, such as using color grading or specific camera angles.
  • Consider adding a cliffhanger or resolution at the end of the scene to leave the audience wanting more and create a stronger sense of anticipation for the next scene.



Scene 8 -  Interrogation Room
22 INT. POLICE STATION - HALLWAY - DAY 22

David Kujan is walking quickly beside SERGEANT RABIN, a dark
and weathered looking man in his late thirties. They move up
a staircase into the heart of police headquarters.

KUJAN
What do you mean I can't see him?

RAB IN
The D.A. came down here last night ready
to arraign before they even moved him to
county. Kint's lawyer comes in and five
minutes later, the D.A.
32.
comes out looking like he'd been bitch-
slapped by the boogey man. They took his
statement and cut him a deal.

KUJAN
Did they charge him with anything?

RAB IN
Weapons. Misdemeanor two.

KUJAN
What'the fuck is that?

Rabin motions for Kujan to lower his voice. He points out
that they are walking through a bullpen filled with desks
where a number of other police are working within earshot.

RABIN
I give the D.A. credit for getting that
much to stick. This whole thing has
turned political. The Mayor was here -
the chief - the Governor called this
morning, for Christ's sake. This guy is

YELLOW 06/11/94

RABIN
protected - From up on high by the prince
of fucking darkness.

KUJAN
When does he post bail?

RAB IN
Two hours, tops.

KUJAN
I want to see him.

Rabin comes to an office door with his name on it. He opens
it and lets Kujan in before following.

PINK 06/07/94
33.

23 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 23

RABIN
Dave, please.

Rabin's office can only be described as a disaster area. The
desk is cluttered with weeks, perhaps months or even years of
paperwork that could never conceivably be sorted out.

Above his desk is a bulletin board. It is a breathtaking
catastrophe of papers, wanted posters, rap-sheets, memos and
+ post-its. This is in the neighborhood of decades. Rabin is
a man with a system so cryptic, so far beyond the
comprehension of others, he himself is most likely baffled by
it.

RABIN
Even if I was to let you talk to him, he
won't talk to you. He's paranoid about
being recorded and he knows the
interrogation rooms are wired.

KUJAN
This won't be an' interrogation, just
a... friendly chat to kill time.

RABIN
(enunciating)
He won't go into the interrogation room.

KUJAN
Someplace else, then.

RAB IN
Where?

Kujan looks around Rabin's messy office.

RABIN
No, no, no, no, no.
34.

KUJAN
If it was a dope deal, where's the dope,
if it was a hit, who called it in?

RABIN
And I am sure you have a host of wild
theories to answer these questions.

KUJAN
You know damn well what I think.

YELLOW 06/11/94

RABIN
That's crazy, Dave and it doesn't matter.
He has total immunity and his story
checks out. He doesn't know what you want
to know.

KUJAN
I don't think he does. Not exactly, but
there's a lot more to his story. I want
to know why twenty-seven men died on that
pier for what looks to be ninety-one
million dollars worth of dope that wasn't
there. Above all, I want to be sure that
Dean Keaton is dead.

RABI +N
He's dead.

KUJAN
Two hours. Just until he makes bail.

RABIN
They're all dead. No matter how tough you
r. say this Keaton was, no one on that
boat could've made it out alive.

PINK 06/07/94
35.

24 INT. HOSPITAL - DAY 24

A door marked INTENSIVE CARE. The door BURSTS OPEN. SUDDENLY,
the hallway is a flurry of activity.

DOCTOR LISA PLUMBER, age fifty, walks quickly beside JACK
BAER.

Baer walks with all of the determination of a battalion of
Chinese infantry.

DOCTOR RIDGLY WALTERS, a young intern in his late twenties
rushes up to them.

PLUMBER
Ridgly, this is Special Agent Jack Baer
from the F.B.I. Agent Baer, this is
Doctor Ridgly Waiters.

RIDGLY
Nice to meet you.

BAER
Is he talking?

RIDGLY
He regained consciousness less than an
hour ago. He spoke - not English - then
he lapsed.

BAER
Hungarian?

YELLOW 06/11/94

RIDGLY
I don't

BAER
It was Hungarian. Most of them were
Hungarians. Any fluent Hungarians on your
staff?
36.

RIDGLY
We have a Turkish audiologist. Ridgly
opens a door and Baer barrels through.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary The main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of memorable dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively creates tension and conflict between the characters, and the high stakes add to the intensity. However, there could be more depth in the dialogue and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of an interrogation room scene is not particularly unique, but the conflict between the criminals and the police adds an interesting dynamic.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters are questioned about the stolen guns, and the conflict between the criminals and the police is further developed.

Originality: 9

The level of originality in this scene is high. The situation of a corrupt police station and the protagonist's struggle for justice is a fresh approach to the crime genre. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters have distinct personalities, but there could be more depth and development in their interactions.

Character Changes: 6

There is limited character change in this scene, as the focus is more on the conflict and high stakes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the events and to ensure that Dean Keaton is dead. This reflects his desire for justice and closure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to talk to the suspect, Kint, and gather information from him. This reflects the immediate challenge of obtaining crucial evidence for the case.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces a corrupt system and a suspect with total immunity. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the stolen guns and the conflict with the police create a sense of urgency and danger.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing information about the stolen guns and the characters' situation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a political influence and a suspect with total immunity, creating uncertainty about the outcome and the truth behind the events.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in justice and the corrupt political influence that protects the suspect. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The aggressive tactics and high stakes create tension and some emotional impact, but there could be more depth in the emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue is functional and serves the purpose of the scene, but it lacks memorable lines or deeper exploration of the characters' motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the corrupt system, and raises questions about the truth and justice. The intense dialogue and the mystery surrounding the events keep the audience engaged.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The quick dialogue exchanges and the protagonist's determination create a fast-paced rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the conflict, and progresses the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene could benefit from more clarity in terms of the characters' motivations and goals. It is not entirely clear why Kujan is so determined to talk to Kint and why he is so focused on the events on the pier. Providing more context or backstory could help the audience understand his motivations better.
  • The dialogue between Kujan and Rabin feels a bit repetitive and could be streamlined. Instead of going back and forth about Kujan wanting to talk to Kint, it could be condensed into a more concise exchange that still conveys the same information.
  • The visual description of Rabin's office could be enhanced to better reflect the chaos and clutter. Adding specific details about the papers, wanted posters, and memos could help create a more vivid image in the reader's mind.
  • The transition between the police station and the hospital feels abrupt and could be smoother. Adding a brief establishing shot or a line of dialogue to indicate the change in location would help the audience understand the shift.
  • The significance of the patient speaking Hungarian is not clear in this scene. Providing more context or foreshadowing about the importance of this detail would create intrigue and anticipation for future developments.
Suggestions
  • Clarify Kujan's motivations and goals in this scene to make his actions more understandable to the audience.
  • Condense the dialogue between Kujan and Rabin to make it more concise and impactful.
  • Enhance the visual description of Rabin's office to create a more vivid and chaotic image.
  • Smoothly transition between the police station and the hospital to avoid abrupt shifts in location.
  • Provide more context or foreshadowing about the significance of the patient speaking Hungarian to create anticipation for future developments.



Scene 9 -  Interrogation Room
25 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM 25

(<< .. DENOTES LINES SPOKEN IN HUNGARIAN)

Baer comes to an abrupt halt at the foot of a bed surrounded
by a massive tangle of medical equipment. In the center of it
all is the as yet unnamed ARKOSH KOVASH, mid-thirties. His
body is nearly mummified in bandages and plaster from waist
to chin.

BOLD IS OVERLAPPED:

KOVASH
<<Are you the police? I need the police.
He'll find out I'm here and he'll kill
me. I need the police. I will tell them
anything they want to know. Please, I am
going to be killed.>>

BAER
Will he die?

PLUMBER
There's a chance.

Baer walks over to Rovash and kneels down on the bed beside
him.

He looks closely at his battered and scalded face. He listens
to him far a moment. Kovash goes on incessantly.

KOVASH
<<Find someone who understands me, you
idiot, I'm going to be killed, You'll all
be killed if he has to do it. Help me,
God. They're all stupid. Get someone who
understands me or we're all going to
die.>>
37.

YELLOW 06/11/94

Baer pulls a cellular phone out of his jacket and dials.

BAER
Call hospital security and put a man on
the door until the police get here.

KOVASH
<<Why are you just standing there, you
idiot? I'm not speaking English am I?
Wouldn't it make sense to find someone
who could talk to me so you could find
the person that set me on fire, perhaps?
He is the Devil. You've never seen anyone
like Keyser Soze in all your miserable
life you idiot. Keyser Soze. Do you at
least understand that? Keyser Soze. The
Devil himself. Or are you American
policemen io stupid that you haven't even
heard of him. Keyser Soze, you ridiculous
man. KEYSER SOZE. >>

BLUE 06/01/94

Ridgly runs out of the room. Kovash babbles louder and
louder, trying to get Baer's attention. Baer sticks a finger
in one ear to block him out and hear the phone.

PLUMBER
Is he dangerous?

BAER
Yes.

Someone picks up on the other end of the phone.

BAER
Joel, it's Baer. I'm down at L.A. county.
The guy they pulled out of the harbor is
ARKOSH Kovash... Yes, I'm sure... No,
he's all fucked up... What? I can't hear
you.
38.
(to Arkosh)
Shut up, Hugo, I'm on the phone.
(into Phone)
Yes... No... Not until I put someone on
him. Listen, I need you to send me
someone who can speak Hungarian. He's
awake and talking like a Thai hooker...
How should I know? Get me someone who can
talk to him -

Baer is suddenly distracted by something Kovash has said. In
the middle of a long string of unintelligible dialect, he has
spouted two words that have gotten Baer's attention.

He turns and looks down at the tattered man in the bed.
Kovash realizes Baer is listening and says the two words
again.

KOVASH
Keyser - Soze.

BAER
What?

He waves his hand, gesturing for Kovash to say it again.

KOVASH
Keyser - Soze.

BAER
No shit?
(into Phone)
Joel, call Dan Metzheiser over at Justice
and find Dave Kujan from Customs.

YELLOW 06/11/94

26 INT. HALLWAY - POLICE STATION 26

Rabin walks out of a small room. Behind him, we catch a
glimpse of a workroom with a bench covered with wires.

Kujan comes out a moment later, gently fixing his tie.
39.

Rabin opens the door to his office and Kujan enters. Rabin
follows, looking up and down the hall before closing the door
behind them.

As the door closes we can just make out the back of Verbal's
head. He is seated in Rabin's office, smoking a cigarette.

27 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 27

Kujan and Rabin sit down across from Verbal.

YELLOW 06/11/94

KUJAN
(exasperated)
Verbal, you know we're trying to help
you.

VERBAL
Sure. And I appreciate that. And I want
to help you, Agent Kujan. I like cops. I
would have liked to have been a Fed
myself but my C.P. was -

KUJAN
Verbal, I know you know something. I know
you're not telling us everything.

VERBAL
I told the D.A. everything I know.

28 INT. WORKSHOP 28

Rabin stands over LOUIS, a messy looking technician at his
workbench in a room full of electronic equipment. He adjusts
several dials on a receiver until the voices of Kujan and
Verbal come clearly through a tinny speaker on the wall.
Rabin reaches over for a nearby pot of coffee.

KUJAN (VOICE)
I know you liked Keaton I know you think
he was a good man.
40.

VERBAL (VOICE)
I know he was good.

KUJAN (VOICE)
He was a corrupt cop, Verbal.
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character changes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively creates tension and suspense through the aggressive police tactics and the conflict between the criminals and the police. The high stakes add to the intensity of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an interrogation room scene is not particularly unique, but the use of aggressive police tactics and the conflict between the criminals and the police adds depth and intensity to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the interrogation of the main characters about a stolen truck-load of guns. The aggressive police tactics and the challenges from McManus create tension and drive the plot forward.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a injured patient needing help is not unique, the specific details and dialogue add authenticity to the scene. The characters' actions and dialogue feel realistic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly McManus and Verbal, are well-developed and their actions and dialogue contribute to the conflict and tension in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there may not be significant character changes in this particular scene, the conflict and tension contribute to the development of the characters' arcs throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect Kovash and ensure his safety. This reflects Baer's desire to do his job as a police officer and prevent harm from coming to others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to call for additional help and support for Kovash. This reflects the immediate challenge of Kovash being in danger and needing assistance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and drives the scene. The aggressive police tactics and the challenges from McManus add to the conflict and create tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as Baer is faced with the challenge of protecting Kovash and dealing with his frantic behavior. The audience is unsure of how Baer will handle the situation and what obstacles he will face.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene, including the threat of death and the involvement of Keyser Soze, add to the intensity and drive the actions of the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing information about the stolen guns and introducing the character of Keyser Soze. It also sets up the conflict between the criminals and the police.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how Baer will handle the situation and what will happen to Kovash. The mention of Keyser Soze adds an element of mystery.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension and suspense, which creates an emotional impact on the audience. The unfairness of the situation also elicits empathy for the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the conflict between the characters and the unfairness of the situation. McManus and Verbal's dialogue adds depth to their characters and drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a sense of urgency and danger. The dialogue between the characters is intense and keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of this scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and actions flow smoothly and keep the scene moving at a brisk pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, and dialogue in the correct format.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through their actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with a strong sense of urgency and danger as Baer encounters Kovash, who is desperate for police protection. This sets up the tension and stakes for the rest of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Kovash and Baer effectively conveys Kovash's fear and desperation, but it could benefit from more clarity and specificity. Some of Kovash's lines are repetitive and could be condensed to make the dialogue more impactful.
  • The use of the Hungarian language adds an interesting layer to the scene, but it may be helpful to provide translations or subtitles for the audience to fully understand the conversation.
  • The transition from the hospital room to Rabin's office is a bit abrupt and could be smoother. Consider adding a brief establishing shot or a line of dialogue to indicate the change in location.
  • The conversation between Kujan, Rabin, and Verbal in Rabin's office lacks a clear objective or conflict. It feels like a continuation of previous scenes rather than a new development. Consider introducing a specific goal or conflict for Kujan to pursue in this scene to increase tension and drive the narrative forward.
  • The use of the receiver in the workshop to eavesdrop on Kujan and Verbal's conversation is an interesting visual element, but it could be further explored to enhance the suspense. Consider incorporating more visual cues or actions in the workshop to create a sense of tension and intrigue.
  • The scene ends on a confrontational note between Kujan and Verbal, which adds a bit of conflict and raises questions about Verbal's reliability. However, the resolution of this conflict is not clear, and it leaves the audience wanting more closure or resolution.
  • Overall, the emotional tone of the scene is tense and determined, with a sense of danger and urgency. This tone is effectively conveyed through the dialogue and actions of the characters.
  • Key pieces of dialogue in this scene include Kovash's pleas for police protection and his mention of Keyser Soze. These lines help to establish the stakes and foreshadow the importance of Keyser Soze in the story.
  • Significant visual elements in this scene include the hospital room with medical equipment and the cluttered workshop with electronic equipment. These visuals help to create a sense of realism and add depth to the setting.
  • To improve this scene, consider refining the dialogue between Kovash and Baer to make it more impactful and concise. Introduce a clear objective or conflict for Kujan to pursue in Rabin's office. Explore the visual elements in the workshop to enhance the suspense. Provide more closure or resolution to the conflict between Kujan and Verbal at the end of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Condense and clarify Kovash's dialogue to make it more impactful.
  • Provide translations or subtitles for the Hungarian conversation.
  • Smoothly transition between the hospital room and Rabin's office.
  • Introduce a specific goal or conflict for Kujan to pursue in Rabin's office.
  • Explore visual cues or actions in the workshop to enhance the suspense.
  • Provide more closure or resolution to the conflict between Kujan and Verbal at the end of the scene.



Scene 10 -  Interrogation Room
29 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 29

VERBAL
Sure. Fifteen years ago, but he was a
good thief Anyway, the cops wouldn't let
him go legit.

KUJAN
Keaton was a piece of shit.

VERBAL
You trying to get a rise out of me, Agent
Kujan?

YELLOW 06/11/94

KUJAN
I just want to hear your story.

YELLOW 06/11/94

VERBAL
It's right here.

He taps a finger on the stack of paper that Kujan brought in.
Kujan picks it up and thumbs through it.

KUJAN
According to your statement you are a
short-con operator. Run of the mill
seams. Everything you do, you learned
from somebody else.

VERBAL
That's been suppressed. Anything in there
is inadmissible.
41.

KUJAN
Oh, I know. Sweet deal you have. Total
immunity.

VERBAL
(laughing)
Well I do have the weapons charge. I'm
looking at six whole months hard time.

KUJAN
(smiling)
You know a dealer named Ruby Deemer,
Verbal?

VERBAL
You know a religious guy named John Paul?

KUJAN
You know Ruby is in Attica?

VERBAL
He didn't have my lawyer.

KUJAN
I know Ruby. He's very big on respect.
Likes me very much.

Verbal sees this getting to something. His smiles fades.

KUJAN
Now I know your testimony was sealed.
Ruby is well connected. He still has
people running errands for him. What do
you think he'd say if he found out you
dropped his name to the D.A.?

SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

VERBAL
There's nothing in there about Ruby.

KUJAN
I'11 be sure to mention that to him.
42.

Verbal is not smiling anymore. He stares at Kujan with utter
contempt, knowing he is being shafted.

KUJAN
The first thing I learned on the job,
know what it was? How to spot a murderer.
Let's say you arrest three guys for the
same killing. Put them all in jail
overnight. The next morning, whoever is
sleeping is your man. If you're guilty,
you know you're caught, you get some rest
- let your guard down, you follow?

VERBAL
No.

KUJAN
I'11 get right to the point. I'm smarter
than you. I'11 find out what I want to
know and I'11 get it from you whether you
like it or not.

VERBAL
I'm not a rat.

Kujan puts his hand on the transcript of Verbal's confession.
Rabin walks in with a cup of coffee. Verbal takes it with his
good hand and sips it with a relish.

VERBAL
Ahhh. Back when I was picking beans in
Guatemala we used to make fresh coffee.
Right off the trees I mean. That was
good. This is shit, but hey...

RAB IN
Can we get started again?

KUJAN
Now what happened after the line-up?

Verbal sneers at Kujan, unable to change the subject.
43.

BLUE 06/01/94
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary In this scene, the main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of power dynamics
Weaknesses

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 9

    The scene is intense and gripping, effectively showcasing the conflict between the criminals and the police. The aggressive police tactics and the high stakes add to the tension and keep the audience engaged.


    Story Content

    Concept: 8

    The concept of an interrogation room scene is not unique, but the execution and the portrayal of the conflict make it compelling.

    Plot: 9

    The plot of the stolen truck-load of guns and the interrogation of the main characters drives the scene forward and creates suspense.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of an interrogation is familiar, the specific dynamics between Verbal and Kujan and their philosophical conflict add a fresh approach. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 8

    The characters of McManus and Verbal are well-developed and their actions and dialogue contribute to the conflict and tension in the scene.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the confrontation and the unfairness of the situation may impact the characters' motivations and actions later in the story.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and not let Agent Kujan get under his skin. This reflects his need to protect himself and his deeper desire to maintain control and power in the situation.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to defend himself and his actions against Agent Kujan's accusations. This reflects the immediate challenge of being interrogated and potentially incriminated.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 9

    The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and drives the scene forward. The aggressive tactics used by the police escalate the conflict.

    Opposition: 9

    The opposition in this scene is strong, as Verbal and Kujan engage in a battle of wits and power. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

    High Stakes: 10

    The high stakes of the stolen truck-load of guns and the aggressive tactics used by the police create a sense of urgency and danger in the scene.

    Story Forward: 9

    The scene moves the story forward by revealing information about the stolen guns and the dynamics between the characters. It also sets up future conflicts and motivations.

    Unpredictability: 7

    This scene is unpredictable because the audience does not know how Verbal will respond to Kujan's accusations and threats. The power dynamics between the characters create uncertainty.

    Philosophical Conflict: 9

    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Verbal and Kujan. Verbal believes in loyalty and not being a rat, while Kujan believes in using any means necessary to get the information he wants. This challenges Verbal's beliefs and values.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 8

    The intense and confrontational nature of the scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, particularly feelings of tension and injustice.

    Dialogue: 9

    The dialogue between McManus, Verbal, and Kujan is sharp, confrontational, and effectively conveys the power dynamics and emotions of the characters.

    Engagement: 9

    This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue and power dynamics between the characters. The audience is drawn into the conflict and wants to see how it will unfold.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and maintaining a steady rhythm. The dialogue and character actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the location, followed by dialogue and character actions. The scene progresses logically and builds tension.


    Critique
    • The scene lacks significant action or conflict, which can make it feel stagnant.
    • The dialogue between Verbal and Kujan feels repetitive and doesn't reveal much new information.
    • Verbal's contemptuous stares and enjoyment of the coffee are interesting visual elements, but they don't add much to the scene.
    • The emotional tone of the scene is tense and confrontational, but it could benefit from more nuance and complexity.
    • The scene could benefit from more dynamic camera angles or blocking to make it visually interesting.
    • The scene could benefit from more subtext or hidden agendas to make it more engaging for the audience.
    Suggestions
    • Consider adding more conflict or action to the scene to make it more engaging.
    • Try to reveal new information or character insights through the dialogue to keep the scene from feeling repetitive.
    • Consider using visual elements or actions that reveal character or add subtext to the scene.
    • Try to add more nuance or complexity to the emotional tone of the scene to make it more interesting.
    • Experiment with different camera angles or blocking to make the scene visually interesting.
    • Consider adding more subtext or hidden agendas to the scene to make it more engaging for the audience.



    Scene 11 -  Interrogation Room
    30 EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT - NEW YORK - SIX WEEKS PRIOR 30

    Keaton stops at the top of the front steps of the police
    station and lights a cigarette. Edie comes out behind him,
    fuming mad.

    EDIE
    ...and the desk Sergeant is actually
    trying to tell me he can't release you?
    Can you believe that? You weren't even
    charged. New York police - Jesus. I want
    to take pictures of your face to bring to
    the D.A. first thing in the morning.

    KEATON
    Just forget about it.

    He looks across the street and sees Fenster and McManus
    talking by a newsstand. McManus is thumbing through
    magazines.

    EDIE
    Absolutely not.

    Keaton looks to his right and sees Hockney trying to hail a
    cab.

    EDIE
    I'11 have this thing in front of a grand
    jury by Monday.

    KEATON
    Edie, please. I don't want to hear this
    right now. What did Renault and Fortier
    say?

    EDIE
    They want more time to think about
    investing.
    44.

    KEATON
    Goddamnit.

    EDIE
    They just said they wanted time.

    KEATON
    Time for what, Edie? Time to look into me
    a little more, that's what. No matter how
    well you cover my tracks now, they'll
    find out who I am.

    SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

    EDIE
    Give me some credit. I got you this far,
    let's go to the grand jury. This is never
    going to stop if we -

    KEATON
    No. It's never going to stop, period. It
    won't take more than a week before every
    investor in this city is walking away
    from us. It's finished. I'm finished.

    Just then, Verbal bumps into him on his way out the door. He
    excuses himself and hobbles down the steps, oblivious to who
    he has bumped into as he tries to navigate the stairs.

    EDIE
    Don't give up on me now, Dean.

    KEATON
    They'll never stop.

    EDIE
    I love you.

    KEATON
    (to himself)
    They ruined me tonight.
    45.

    EDIE
    Dean, I love you. Do you hear me?

    Verbal gets to the sidewalk and stops. He turns, realizing it
    is Keaton on the steps.

    EDIE
    Let's just go to my place. We'll worry
    about this tomorrow.

    Keaton and Verbal look at one another for a moment. Keaton
    then looks over to the newsstand and sees Fenster looking at
    him.

    KEATON
    Huh?

    McManus notices Fenster and glances up from his magazine to
    see what he is looking at.

    EDIE
    Come home with me, please. Dean?

    SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

    Keaton looks at Hockney who has one foot in a cab. He is
    looking at Fenster and McManus who are looking at Keaton.
    This makes Hockney look up at Keaton as well.

    SUDDENLY, Edie tunes in to what is going on. She notices the
    others on the street. She reaches over and takes Keaton by
    the arm, pulling gently. She glares at the others.

    EDIE
    Come home, Dean.

    KEATON
    (distant)
    Alright.

    Verbal looks at everyone else from where he stands on the
    street.
    46.
    Fenster, McManus and Hockney all look at him and then at each
    other. It is a strange moment of unspoken understanding.

    All eyes finally turn to Keaton, high on the front steps of
    the police station as he walks away with Edie.

    31 INT. HALLWAY - DAY 31

    Verbal stands in front of an apartment door. He hesitates for
    a long moment before he knocks.

    After a moment, the door opens and Keaton stands on the other
    side of it. He is wearing a bathrobe and smoking a cigarette.

    He looks at Verbal without any expression whatsoever.

    KEATON
    What are you doing here'! How did you
    find me?

    VERBAL
    I just asked one of the detectives
    downtown. He seemed pretty happy to tell
    me.

    Keaton curses under his breath and motions for Verbal to come
    in.
    Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

    Summary The main characters are brought into an interrogation room and questioned about a stolen truck-load of guns. The police use aggressive tactics to try and get information from the suspects. McManus challenges the police while Verbal narrates the unfairness of the situation. The scene highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police, as well as the high stakes involved.
    Strengths
    • Intense conflict
    • Tense atmosphere
    • Effective dialogue
    Weaknesses

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene effectively creates tension and highlights the conflict between the criminals and the police. The high stakes of the stolen guns add to the intensity of the scene.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of criminals being interrogated by the police is a familiar one, but the scene adds depth by showcasing the conflict and high stakes involved.

      Plot: 9

      The plot of the stolen guns and the interrogation drives the scene forward and creates tension.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar, the dialogue and character interactions feel authentic and fresh. The characters' actions and dialogue reflect their individual personalities and motivations.


      Character Development

      Characters: 8

      The characters of McManus and Verbal add depth to the scene through their challenges to the police and narration of the unfairness of the situation.

      Character Changes: 7

      While there may not be significant character changes in this particular scene, the conflict and high stakes may lead to character development later in the story.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the fact that his actions have led to his downfall and that he is now finished. This reflects his deeper fear of being exposed and his desire to protect himself and his loved ones.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to escape the attention and investigation of Renault and Fortier, who want more time to think about investing. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of being exposed and losing his investors.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between the criminals and the police is intense and drives the scene.

      Opposition: 7

      The opposition in this scene is strong because the protagonist is facing multiple challenges and obstacles. He is being investigated by Renault and Fortier, and his relationship with Edie is strained. The audience doesn't know how he will overcome these challenges.

      High Stakes: 10

      The high stakes of a stolen truck-load of guns add tension and urgency to the scene.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward by introducing the conflict and raising the stakes.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected obstacles and challenges for the protagonist. The audience doesn't know how he will overcome these obstacles or what the consequences will be.

      Philosophical Conflict: 6

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief that he is finished and that his actions have ruined him, and Edie's belief that they should continue fighting and go to the grand jury. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and forces him to question whether he should give up or keep fighting.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The intense and tense atmosphere of the scene creates emotional impact.

      Dialogue: 9

      The dialogue between the characters effectively conveys the conflict and tension in the scene.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and his love interest, as well as hints at a larger conflict with other characters. The dialogue is tense and emotional, and the scene ends with a cliffhanger, leaving the audience wanting to know what will happen next.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and urgency. The dialogue is fast-paced and the actions of the characters are quick and decisive.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions. The formatting is clear and easy to follow.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then focuses on the dialogue and actions of the characters. The scene ends with a cliffhanger, leading into the next scene.


      Critique
      • The scene could benefit from more conflict or tension to drive the plot forward.
      • The dialogue could be more focused on the main plot points and less on the characters' personal relationships.
      • The visual elements could be more impactful and symbolic to enhance the emotional tone of the scene.
      • The scene could benefit from more action or movement to keep the audience engaged.
      • The interactions between the characters could be more dynamic and revealing of their personalities and motivations.
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding a new conflict or obstacle for the characters to overcome in this scene.
      • Focus the dialogue on the main plot points and use it to reveal more about the characters' motivations.
      • Use visual elements to enhance the emotional tone of the scene and create a more impactful moment of unspoken understanding.
      • Add more action or movement to keep the audience engaged and create a sense of urgency.
      • Make the interactions between the characters more dynamic and revealing of their personalities and motivations.



      Scene 12 -  Interrogation and Offer
      32 INT. EDIE'S APARTMENT 32

      Verbal walks in and sits down on the couch, watching Keaton
      cautiously. He looks around the large apartment, beautifully
      furnished and decorated.

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      Edie walks into the room in a man's button-down shirt and
      sweat pants.

      EDIE
      Dean, who was at the --

      She stops when she sees Verbal. Verbal stands and smiles
      nervously.
      47.

      VERBAL
      How do you do?

      KEATON
      Verb - Roger, this is Edie Finneran.
      Edie, this is Roger Kint, he was at --

      EDIE
      (cold)
      I know who he is.

      VERBAL
      I hope I didn't disturb you.

      EDIE
      I hope so, too, Mr. Kint. Can I get you
      something to drink?

      VERBAL
      A glass of water would be nice.

      Edie shoots a look at Keaton on her way out of the room.
      Keaton tries to hush his voice despite his anger.

      KEATON
      What the hell do you want?

      VERBAL
      I wanted to talk to you. The other guys -

      KEATON
      I did you a favor by standing up for you
      last night, but don't think we're
      friends. I'm sorry, but I have other
      things -

      VERBAL
      They're gonna do a job. Three million
      dollars, maybe more.

      Keaton is speechless. Verbal sits on the couch again.
      48.

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      VERBAL
      They sent me to offer you a cut. We could
      use a fifth man - a driver - That's all
      you'll do.

      Edie walks in with a glass of ice water and hands it to
      Verbal.

      VERBAL
      Thank you.

      Verbal drinks slowly. Edie stands over him, her face blank.
      It is an awkward moment. She deliberately makes Verbal
      uncomfortable.

      LONG PAUSE - FINALLY:

      EDIE
      So what is it you do, Mr. Kint?

      VERBAL
      Umm ...

      EDIE
      A hijacker like Dean, here? Or something
      more creative?

      KEATON
      That's enough, Edie.

      EDIE
      (angry)
      I don't know what you came here for, but
      we won't have any part of it.

      KEATON
      Edie, please.

      Keaton takes Edie by the arm and tries to guide her toward
      the other room. She pulls away, anger turning to rage.
      49.

      EDIE
      I've spent the last year of my life
      putting his back together again - I won't
      have you come in here and - What makes
      you think - GET OUT. GET OUT OF MY HOME.
      HOW DARE YOU COME HERE?

      Keaton is pulling her now. She yanks her arm away and shoves
      him.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      EDIE
      Don't touch me. Just don't --

      She turns and walks out of the room. Somewhere in the back of
      the apartment, a door slams. Keaton turns and glares at
      Verbal. Verbal cringes.

      KEATON
      Get out.

      VERBAL
      If you'll just let me -

      SUDDENLY, KEATON LUNGES. He grabs Verbal by the lapels and
      lifts him off the couch, moving him effortlessly across the
      room and slamming him into the wall next to the front door.
      He opens it.

      VERBAL
      Don't hurt me.

      KEATON
      (seething)
      Hurt you, you sonofabitch? I could kill
      you.

      Keaton starts to shove Verbal out the door.

      VERBAL
      (Quickly)
      They're going to hit the Taxi Service.
      50.

      Keaton freezes. LONG PAUSE.

      VERBAL
      New York's Finest Taxi Service.

      KEATON
      They - That's bullshit. They don't
      operate anymore.

      VERBAL
      McManus has a friend in the Fourteenth
      Precinct. They're coming out for one job -
      Thursday. They're picking up a guy
      smuggling emeralds out of South America.
      Fenster and McManus have a fence set to
      take the stuff.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      KEATON
      What fence? Who?

      VERBAL
      Some guy in California. His name is
      Redfoot.

      KEATON
      Never heard of him.

      Keaton moves to throw Verbal out. Verbal grabs Keaton and
      holds tight.

      VERBAL
      You have to come.

      KEATON
      What's with you? What do you care whether
      I come or not?

      VERBAL
      They - They don't know me. You do. They
      won't take me unless you go. Look at me.
      I need this.
      51.

      KEATON
      Tough break.

      VERBAL
      Don't tell me you don't need this. Is
      this your place?

      Keaton is unable to answer.

      VERBAL
      They're never going to stop with us, you
      know that. This way we hit the cops where
      it hurts and get well in the mean time.

      Keaton lets Verbal go and steps back, thinking.

      VERBAL
      As clean as you could ever get, they'll
      never let you go now.

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      VERBAL
      I'm not knocking you. You look like
      you've got a good little seam going with
      this lawyer -

      WHAM. Keaton punches Verbal in the stomach and drops him to
      one knee. Verbal coughs and tries to find his breath.

      KEATON
      You watch your mouth.

      VERBAL
      (Gasping)
      Okay, okay. You say it's the real thing?
      That's cool.

      Keaton reaches for Verbal. Verbal flinches. Keaton gently
      helps him up and guides him to the couch. They bath sit.

      Keaton reaches for a pack of cigarettes and lights one for
      each of them.
      52.

      KEATON
      I apologize.

      Verbal takes one and has a few drags, catching his breath and
      rubbing his stomach in pain.

      FINALLY:

      VERBAL
      I was out of line.

      KEATON
      You okay?

      VERBAL
      I'11 be alright.

      KEATON
      Well, I'm sorry.

      VERBAL
      Forget it.
      (beat)
      I'11 probably shit blood tonight.

      Keaton laughs. Verbal thinks about it for a moment and laughs
      with him.

      Keaton's laughter trails off. He thinks for a moment.

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      KEATON
      How are they going to do it?

      VERBAL
      McManus wants to go in shooting. I said
      no way.

      KEATON
      Fenster and Hockney?
      53.

      VERBAL
      They're pretty pissed off. They'll do
      anything. Now I got a way to do it
      without killing anyone: but like I said,
      they won't let me in without you.

      KEATON
      Three million?

      VERBAL
      Maybe more.

      KEATON
      No killing?

      VERBAL
      Not if we do it my way.

      LONG PAUSE

      KEATON
      (Llst in thought)
      I swore I'd live above myself.

      Verbal smiles, knowing he has him.
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary In this scene, Verbal enters Edie's apartment and tries to convince Keaton to join a heist. Edie is hostile towards Verbal, but Keaton eventually listens to his offer. Verbal reveals the plan to rob a taxi service and smuggle emeralds, emphasizing that no one needs to be killed. Keaton is initially skeptical but becomes intrigued by the opportunity. The scene showcases the conflict between Verbal and Edie, as well as the high stakes involved in the heist.
      Strengths
      • Intense dialogue
      • Character dynamics
      • Building tension
      Weaknesses
      • Limited exploration of themes
      • Some predictable character reactions

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene effectively builds tension and establishes the conflict between the characters. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important plot details. The high stakes and emotional impact make it a compelling scene.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of a heist and the dynamics between the characters are well-executed. The scene introduces a unique plan to rob a taxi service and smuggle emeralds, adding intrigue to the story.

      Plot: 9

      The plot progresses significantly in this scene as Verbal presents the heist plan and convinces Keaton to join. The revelation of the plan adds complexity and raises the stakes for the characters.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters discussing a criminal job is familiar, the specific details and dynamics of the characters' interactions add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their conflicting motivations drive the scene. Verbal's determination and Keaton's initial skepticism create tension and intrigue.

      Character Changes: 7

      Keaton experiences a change in perspective as he initially rejects Verbal's offer but becomes intrigued by the opportunity. This change sets up his character arc in the subsequent scenes.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Keaton to join the job and to gain his trust. This reflects Verbal's desire to be accepted and valued by his peers, as well as his fear of being left out or rejected.

      External Goal: 9

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to recruit Keaton for a job that involves stealing three million dollars or more. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, as well as their desire for financial gain.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between Verbal, Keaton, and Edie is intense and drives the scene. The aggressive tactics used by the police in the previous scene also contribute to the overall conflict.

      Opposition: 9

      The opposition in this scene is strong, as Keaton initially opposes Verbal's proposition and is skeptical of the job. The audience is unsure of how the conversation will go and whether Keaton will ultimately agree to join the job.

      High Stakes: 9

      The high stakes are established through the plan to rob a taxi service and smuggle emeralds. The characters' lives and freedom are at risk, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing the heist plan and convincing Keaton to join. It sets up the next phase of the plot and raises the stakes for the characters.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and reveals new information about the job. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' true intentions and the direction of the story.

      Philosophical Conflict: 7

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Verbal's belief that the job can be done without killing anyone and Keaton's initial skepticism. This conflict challenges Verbal's values and worldview, as he tries to convince Keaton to choose a non-violent approach.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The scene evokes emotions such as anger, fear, and determination. Edie's anger towards Verbal and Keaton's internal struggle add emotional depth to the scene.

      Dialogue: 10

      The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals important information about the heist plan and the characters' relationships. It effectively conveys the conflict and emotions in the scene.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the characters and raises questions about their motivations and the outcome of the job. The tension and suspense in the scene keep the audience interested and invested in the story.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and building tension through the characters' dialogue and actions. The scene progresses at a pace that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through their dialogue and actions. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


      Critique
      • The scene starts with Verbal entering Edie's apartment, but it is not clear how he got there or why he is there. It would be helpful to provide some context or explanation.
      • The dialogue between Verbal and Edie feels forced and unnatural. The tension and anger could be better conveyed through more realistic and organic dialogue.
      • The transition from Edie's anger towards Verbal to Keaton's anger towards Verbal is abrupt and could be smoother. It would be helpful to show Keaton's reaction to Edie's anger before he confronts Verbal.
      • The physical altercation between Keaton and Verbal feels out of place and unnecessary. It would be more effective to have Keaton express his anger and frustration through dialogue and actions that are more in line with his character.
      • The scene lacks clear conflict and resolution. While there is tension and confrontation, it is not clear what the characters are trying to achieve or how the conflict is resolved.
      • The dialogue between Keaton and Verbal about the job feels rushed and could benefit from more development and explanation. It is not clear why Verbal's way of doing the job without killing anyone is preferable or how it will be accomplished.
      • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and actions to enhance the atmosphere and engage the reader.
      • The ending of the scene, with Keaton and Verbal sitting together and smoking cigarettes, feels anticlimactic and does not provide a strong sense of closure or anticipation for the next scene.
      Suggestions
      • Provide some context or explanation for Verbal's presence in Edie's apartment at the beginning of the scene.
      • Rewrite the dialogue between Verbal and Edie to make it more realistic and organic, conveying the tension and anger more effectively.
      • Smooth out the transition from Edie's anger towards Verbal to Keaton's anger towards Verbal, showing Keaton's reaction before he confronts Verbal.
      • Replace the physical altercation between Keaton and Verbal with dialogue and actions that are more in line with Keaton's character.
      • Clarify the conflict and resolution in the scene, making it clear what the characters are trying to achieve and how the conflict is resolved.
      • Develop and explain the dialogue between Keaton and Verbal about the job, providing more context and justification for Verbal's way of doing the job without killing anyone.
      • Add more visual descriptions and actions to enhance the atmosphere and engage the reader.
      • Revise the ending of the scene to provide a stronger sense of closure or anticipation for the next scene.



      Scene 13 -  The Heist
      33 EXT. KENNEDY AIRPORT - DAY 33

      VERBAL (V.O.)
      New York's finest Taxi Service was not
      your normal taxi service. It was a ring
      of corrupt cops in the N.Y.P.D. that ran
      a high-profit racket, driving smugglers
      and drug dealers all over the city. For a
      few hundred dollars a mile, you got your
      own black and white and a police escort.
      They even had their own business cards.

      OSCAR WHITEHEAD, a tall gray-haired man in his fifties comes
      out of the international terminal in a white linen suit. He
      holds a large suitcase in his right hand.
      54.

      BLUE 06/01/94

      VERBAL (V.O.)
      After a while, somebody started asking
      questions and the taxi service shut down.
      Ever since then, Internal Affairs had
      been waiting to catch them in the act.

      Oscar stands on the curb long enough to light a cigarette.
      After a moment, a POLICE CRUISER pulls up to him. He opens
      the back door and gets in.

      VERBAL (V.O.)
      And that was how we started. McManus came
      to us with the job; Fenster got the vans;
      Hockney supplied the hardware; 'I came
      through with how to do it so no one got
      killed - but Keaton - Keaton put on the
      finishing touch. A little "Fuck you" from
      the five of us to the N.Y.P.D.

      The car drives out of the airport. A VAN follows at a
      distance.

      34 INT. POLICE CAR 34

      SERGEANT JIM STRAUSZ, a meaty, imposing looking man in his
      forties drives the car. Beside him is a thin, greasy looking
      PATROLMAN, STEVE RIZZI. They are two drivers for New York's
      Finest Taxi Service.

      RIZZI
      How was the flight?

      Oscar hands Rizzi a thick envelope.

      OSCAR
      Will that get me to the Pierre?

      Rizzi counts the stack of hundred dollar bills in the
      envelope .
      55.

      RIZZI
      That'll get you to Cape God.

      The two men laugh. Strausz watches the road, expressionless.

      35 EXT. HIGHWAY 35

      The cruiser heads towards the heart of Manhattan.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      36 EXT. STREET - LATER 36

      The police car makes its way down a wide, abandoned street. A
      WHITE MINIVAN pulls out behind it and heads the same way.

      37 INT. POLICE CAR 37

      Strausz looks in the rear-view mirror. The white minivan is
      flashing his high-beams.

      STRAUSZ
      What the...

      RIZZI
      LOOK OUT.

      Strausz looks in front of him. A green minivan swerves in
      front of them from out of nowhere. Strausz slams on the
      brakes and skids to a halt. The white minivan rams them from
      behind.

      Strausz and Rizzi are stunned for a moment as two more vans
      screech up on either side of the cruiser, boxing it in with
      only a few inches between them.

      The cruiser is surrounded on all sides.

      SUDDENLY, SHOTGUN BARRELS come through the open windows. They
      come to rest, one on Strausz's left temple one on Rizzi's
      right. RIZZI looks out of the corner of his eye.

      He sees the driver of the van next to him holding the shotgun
      with one hand. A stocking is over the driver's head.
      56.
      Strausz looks straight ahead. The minivan in front of them is
      missing a back window. Another man with a stocking on his
      head aims a sub-machine gun at them from inside.

      By the twisted right hand holding the front of the gun, we
      know it is Verbal. Strausz and Rizzi raise their hands
      without being asked.

      38 EXT. STREET 38

      The driver of the white van gets out with a gallon jug in one
      hand and a sledge hammer in the other.

      Moving like lightning, he jumps onto the roof of the police
      car

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      He stands on the front of the roof and swings the hammer
      down.

      39 INT. POLICE CAR 39

      SMASH

      The hammer punches three huge holes in the windshield and
      finally caves it in. Strausz and Rizzi are covered with
      pebbles of broken glass. Whitehead clutches his bag in the
      back seat. He trembles in terror.

      The man standing on the roof doubles over and sticks a gun in
      Strausz's face. His face hangs upside down and looks gruesome
      - covered from the mouth up in a stocking. By the voice, we
      know it is McManus.

      MCMANUS
      GIVE ME THE SHIT.

      STRAUSZ
      Give it up.

      Oscar hands the suitcase up front and Strausz passes it to
      McManus.
      57.

      40 INT. FRONT VAN 40

      Through the front windshield of the front van we see Keaton
      at the wheel. Verbal is behind him leaning out the back
      window.

      Beneath Keaton's stocking mask we see he is trembling and
      sweating - sickened by what he is doing.

      He glances up at the rear-view mirror and looks at the scene
      outside. He looks down at the floor in shame, shaking his
      head.
      Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

      Summary In this scene, the main characters execute a daring heist on corrupt cops who run a high-profit taxi service. They use aggressive tactics to overpower the police officers and steal a suitcase filled with valuable items. The scene showcases the conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops, as well as the high stakes involved in the heist.
      Strengths
      • Intense and suspenseful atmosphere
      • Well-executed heist sequence
      • Engaging conflict between criminals and corrupt cops
      Weaknesses
      • Limited character development
      • Theme not explored in depth

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with intense moments and a well-executed heist. The conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops adds depth to the story, and the high stakes create tension and excitement.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of a heist on corrupt cops is intriguing and adds a unique twist to the crime genre. The aggressive tactics used by the criminals make the scene more intense and unpredictable.

      Plot: 9

      The plot of the scene revolves around the execution of the heist and the conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops. It is well-paced and keeps the audience engaged.

      Originality: 9

      This scene presents a unique situation of corrupt cops running a taxi service for criminals. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


      Character Development

      Characters: 8

      The characters in the scene, particularly McManus and Verbal, showcase their determination and resourcefulness. Their actions and dialogue contribute to the tension and conflict.

      Character Changes: 7

      While there is not significant character development in this scene, the characters' actions and decisions reflect their determination and resourcefulness.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that they want to successfully complete their illegal operation without getting caught by the police or facing any harm. This reflects their desire for financial gain and their fear of being arrested or harmed.

      External Goal: 9

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to successfully rob the police car and obtain the valuable items inside. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, as well as their criminal activities.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops is intense and drives the scene forward. The aggressive tactics used by the criminals escalate the conflict and create a sense of danger.

      Opposition: 9

      The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces unexpected obstacles and challenges from the police car and other vans. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and whether the characters will succeed.

      High Stakes: 10

      The high stakes involved in the heist, including the risk of getting caught and the potential consequences, create a sense of urgency and heighten the tension in the scene.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the execution of the heist and the conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops. It adds momentum to the overall plot.

      Unpredictability: 8

      This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected obstacles and challenges for the characters. The audience doesn't know how the situation will unfold and whether the characters will succeed or face consequences.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, excitement, and a sense of justice being served. The intense moments and high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful. It reveals the characters' motivations and adds depth to the conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it immediately introduces a high-stakes situation and creates tension through the characters' actions and dialogue. The reader is drawn into the scene and wants to know what will happen next.

      Pacing: 9

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast pace and building tension. The quick succession of actions and dialogue keeps the reader engaged and creates a sense of urgency.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 7

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals, and builds tension through a series of actions and dialogue.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks clear and concise dialogue that drives the plot forward.
      • The emotional tone could be further developed to create a stronger impact on the audience.
      • The visual elements could be enhanced to create a more visually engaging scene.
      • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and could benefit from a more satisfying resolution.
      Suggestions
      • Revise the dialogue to make it more impactful and focused on advancing the plot.
      • Explore ways to heighten the emotional tension in the scene to create a stronger impact on the audience.
      • Consider incorporating visually striking elements or actions to enhance the visual appeal of the scene.
      • Revisit the ending of the scene and find a way to provide a more satisfying resolution for the audience.



      Scene 14 -  The Heist
      41 INT. POLICE CAR 41

      McMANUS The money. Strausz looks at Rizzi.

      MCMAMJS
      THE MONEY. LET'S HAVE IT.

      Rizzi hands the money through the remains of the windshield.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      McManus takes the money and stuffs it in his jacket. He steps
      back and takes the cap off of the gallon jug. He quickly
      pours some kind of liquid all over the roof of the car.

      STRAUSZ
      Do you know who I am?

      A hand reaches into the driver's side window and rips
      Strausz's badge off of his shirt.

      Strausz dares to turn his head right at the shotgun pointing
      at him through the window. On the other end is a masked and
      smiling Todd Hockney.

      HOCKNEY
      We do now, Jerk-off.

      McManus lights a pack of matches and drops them on the roof
      of the car as he jumps off. THE LIQUID IGNITES, the roof of
      the car is instantly in flames.
      58.
      Strausz and Rizzi attempt to bail out, but the vans are too
      close for them to open the doors. The vans pull away.

      Strausz and Rizzi escape from the car. Oscar is trapped
      inside, SCREAMING. Strausz and Rizzi stop, each expecting the
      other to go let Oscar out.

      42 EXT. STREET - LATER 42

      The scene is swarming with fresh police cars. Strausz and
      Rizzi are fielding questions from a dozen other cops.

      Photographers are everywhere.

      VERBAL (V.O.)
      The papers got Keaton's call that day and
      were on the scene before the cops were.
      Strausz and Rizzi were indicted three
      days later. Within a few weeks, fifty
      more cops went down with them. It was
      beautiful. Everybody got it right in the
      ass, from the chief on down.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      43 INT. GARAGE - NIGHT 43

      Hockney, Fenster, McManus and Verbal are all laughing in a
      secluded garage. They are still in their black clothes from
      the robbery. Hockney is throwing everyone a can of beer.

      Keaton sits off by himself. He watches the others, unable to
      join in the festivities.

      The others sit around a cheap card table. It is covered with
      emeralds. Dozens of them. Everyone is in awe. McManus There's
      more than I thought.

      HOCKNEY
      When does the fence come? McMANUS
      Redfoot? He never comes to see me. I have
      to go see him.
      59.

      VERBAL
      In California?

      MCMANUS
      Yeah. It'll take a few days. Me and
      Fenster

      HOCKNEY
      Hold the fuckin' phone. You and Fenster?
      No, no, no.

      MCMANUS
      Guys, come on.

      HOCKNEY
      I'm sure you can understand my
      hesitation.

      FENSTER
      Then who goes?

      HOCKNEY
      We all go. How about it, Keaton?

      All eyes turn to Keaton. He comes out of his trance.

      KEATON
      We need to lay low for a while.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      MCMANUS
      Fine with me.

      PAUSE

      Everyone looks at each other, their moment of distrust
      blowing over. All eyes drift back to the emeralds on the
      table.

      Hockney begins to snicker, then McManus, then Fenster. Verbal
      joins in at last. McManus grabs Verbal and hugs him, shaking
      him violently.
      60.

      MCMANUS
      My boy with the plan.

      SUDDENLY, everyone yells and pours beer over Verbal's head.
      He laughs as he is drenched in white foam, nearly choking as
      the others chant his name.

      Keaton watches from across the room, trying to smile in vain.

      44 SCENE DELETED 44

      45 INT. WAITING ROOM - LAW OFFICE - DAY 45

      Keaton and Verbal sit side by side on a sofa. A sign on the
      door behind them reads: MONTGOMERY and LaGUARDIA - ATTORNEYS
      AT LAW.

      VERBAL
      We're going to miss the flight.

      KEATON
      We'll make it.

      VERBAL
      Don't do this. Send her a card -
      something.

      KEATON
      We'll make it.

      VOICE (O.S.)
      Ms. Finneran will be with you in a
      moment.

      Keaton stands and paces across the waiting room. He comes to
      a set of glass doors and looks through them.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      Keaton realizes he is standing on a balcony overlooking a
      library below.

      He sees Edie working in the library with an old woman. The
      two women talk for a moment.
      61.

      SUDDENLY, Keaton turns with a start. Verbal is standing
      behind him.

      VERBAL
      We're gonna miss the plane.
      (beat)
      She'll understand.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      Edie is smiling and laughing with the old woman. Keaton's
      face is marked with guilt and anguish. Keaton turns and walks
      out of the waiting room. Verbal takes one last glance at Edie
      and turns back to Keaton.

      46 INT. LIBRARY 46

      Edie seems to sense something behind her. She turns and looks
      through the glass doors and up into the waiting room.

      NOTHING IS THERE. She goes back to chatting with the old
      woman.
      Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

      Summary In this scene, the main characters execute a daring heist on corrupt cops who run a high-profit taxi service. They use aggressive tactics to overpower the police officers and steal a suitcase filled with valuable items. The scene showcases the conflict between the criminals and the corrupt cops, as well as the high stakes involved in the heist.
      Strengths "The scene effectively builds tension and showcases the conflict between the criminals and corrupt cops. The execution of the heist is engaging and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats."
      Weaknesses "The emotional impact could be further developed, and there could be more character development for some of the supporting characters."

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene is well-executed and engaging, with intense moments and high stakes. The conflict between the criminals and corrupt cops adds tension and excitement to the scene.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of executing a daring heist on corrupt cops is intriguing and adds an element of suspense to the scene.

      Plot: 9

      The plot of the scene revolves around the execution of the heist and the conflict between the criminals and corrupt cops. It is well-developed and keeps the audience engaged.

      Originality: 7

      This scene has a moderate level of originality. While the concept of criminals planning their next move is not entirely unique, the specific details and dialogue in this scene add freshness to the familiar situation. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also adds to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 8

      The characters in the scene are well-defined and their actions and dialogue contribute to the tension and conflict.

      Character Changes: 6

      There is some character development, particularly in Keaton's hesitation and eventual decision to join the heist.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of camaraderie and unity with his fellow criminals. He wants to feel accepted and valued by his peers.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to plan their next move and figure out how to sell the stolen emeralds. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing as they try to profit from their crime.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between the criminals and corrupt cops is intense and drives the tension in the scene.

      Opposition: 6

      The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong. While there is some tension between the characters, it is quickly resolved and does not pose a significant obstacle to their goals.

      High Stakes: 10

      The high stakes involved in the heist, including the risk of getting caught and the potential consequences, add tension and excitement to the scene.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the execution of the heist and the conflict between the criminals and corrupt cops.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected twists and turns, such as the characters pouring beer over Verbal's head. The audience doesn't know how the characters will react or what their next move will be.

      Philosophical Conflict: 6

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Keaton and Verbal. Keaton is torn between his loyalty to his criminal friends and his guilt over his actions. This conflict challenges his beliefs and values.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 7

      The scene evokes a sense of tension and suspense, but the emotional impact is not the primary focus.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue in the scene is sharp and helps to develop the characters and advance the plot.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it contains a mix of action, dialogue, and suspense. The reader is drawn into the characters' world and wants to know what will happen next.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of this scene is effective because it moves quickly and keeps the reader engaged. The rhythm of the dialogue and the action keeps the scene flowing smoothly.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a location and time description, followed by action and dialogue.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks clear transitions between the police car and the garage, making it confusing for the reader to follow the sequence of events.
      • The dialogue feels a bit generic and lacks depth, especially in the interactions between the characters.
      • The emotional tone of the scene could be better established to create a stronger impact on the audience.
      • The visual elements could be enhanced to create a more vivid and engaging scene.
      • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and could benefit from a stronger resolution or cliffhanger.
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding clear scene headings or transitions to indicate the change in location and time.
      • Work on developing more unique and distinct voices for each character to make the dialogue more engaging and memorable.
      • Explore ways to heighten the tension and emotional impact of the scene, such as through the characters' body language, facial expressions, or internal thoughts.
      • Add more descriptive details to the visual elements to create a more immersive and visually appealing scene.
      • Consider ending the scene with a stronger cliffhanger or resolution to leave the audience wanting more.



      Scene 15 -  The Revelation
      47 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE -DAY - LOS ANGELES - PRESENT 47

      KUJAN
      Heartwarming. Really, I feel weepy.

      VERBAL
      You wanted to know what happened after
      the line-up, I'm telling you.

      KUJAN
      Oh come on, Verbal. Who do you think
      you're talking to? You really expect me
      to believe he retired? For a woman?
      Bullshit. He was using her.

      VERBAL
      He loved her.
      62.

      KUJAN
      Sure. And I'm supposed to believe that
      hitting the Taxi Service wasn't his idea
      either.

      VERBAL
      That was all Fenster and McManus.

      KUJAN
      Come on. Keaton was a cop for four years.
      Who else would know the Taxi Service

      PINK 06/07/94

      KUJAN
      Better? That job had his name all over
      it.

      VERBAL
      You keep trying to lay this whole ride on
      t Keaton. It wasn't like that. Sure he
      knew, but Edie had him all turned around.
      r I'm telling you straight, I swear.

      KUJAN
      Let me tell you something. I know Dean
      Keaton. I've been investigating him for
      three years. The guy I know is a cold-
      + blooded bastard. L.A.P.D. indicted him
      on three counts of murder before he was
      kicked off the force, so don't sell me
      the hooker with the heart of gold.

      VERBAL
      You got him wrong.

      KUJAN
      Do I? Keaton was under indictment a total
      of seven times when he was on the force.
      In every case, witnesses either reversed
      their testimony to the grand jury or died
      before they could testify.
      63.
      When they finally did nail him for fraud,
      he spent five years in Sing Sing. He
      killed three prisoners inside - one with
      a knife in the tailbone while he
      strangled him to death. Of course I can't
      prove this but I can't prove the best
      part either.

      Kujan pauses to drink some coffee.

      KUJAN
      Dean Keaton was dead. Did you know that?
      r He died in a fire two years ago during
      an investigation into the murder of a
      witness who was going to testify against
      him. Two people saw Keaton enter a
      warehouse he owned just before it went
      up. They said he had gone in to check a
      leaking gas main. It blew up and took all
      of Dean Keaton with it. Within three
      months of the explosion, the two
      witnesses were dead, one killed himself
      in his car and the other fell down an
      open elevator shaft.

      PINK 06/07/94

      48 SCENE DELETED 48

      49 SCENE DELETED/DIALOGUE MOVED - BOTTOM SCENE 47 49

      PINK 06/07/94

      50 INT. WORKSHOP 50

      Rabin and Louis look at one another as they listen.

      KUJAN
      (on speaker)
      Six weeks ago I get an anonymous call
      telling me I can find Keaton eating at
      Mondino's with his lawyer, and there he
      is.
      64.
      Now because he never profited from his
      alleged death and because someone else
      was convicted for the murder we tried to
      pin on Keaton, we had to let him go.
      Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

      Summary In this scene, Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
      Strengths "Strong dialogue, intense conflict, and a compelling revelation about a key character."
      Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the tension and suspense."

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong dialogue and intense conflict between Verbal and Kujan.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of a criminal mastermind allegedly faking his death adds intrigue and raises questions about the true nature of the characters.

      Plot: 9

      The plot is driven by the revelation of Keaton's past and the conflict between Verbal and Kujan, which adds depth and raises the stakes.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of two characters arguing about a criminal's true nature is familiar, the specific details of Keaton's alleged crimes and death add a fresh twist. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and strong personalities, making their interactions compelling.

      Character Changes: 7

      Verbal's perception of Keaton is challenged, leading to a slight shift in his understanding of the situation.

      Internal Goal: 8

      Verbal's internal goal in this scene is to convince Kujan that Dean Keaton was not the mastermind behind the criminal activities. This reflects Verbal's desire to protect Keaton's reputation and honor his memory.

      External Goal: 7

      Verbal's external goal in this scene is to provide Kujan with information about Keaton's death and convince him that Keaton was not involved in the recent criminal activities. This reflects the immediate challenge of clearing Keaton's name and proving his innocence.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 10

      The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene, creating a sense of urgency and tension.

      Opposition: 9

      The opposition in this scene is strong as Kujan challenges Verbal's beliefs and tries to uncover the truth about Keaton. The audience is unsure of how Verbal will respond and whether he can convince Kujan of Keaton's innocence.

      High Stakes: 10

      The revelation of Keaton's alleged death and his involvement in criminal activities raises the stakes for the characters and adds a sense of danger and urgency.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene reveals crucial information about Keaton's past and raises the stakes for the characters, propelling the story forward.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it challenges the audience's assumptions about Keaton's character. The revelations about his alleged crimes and death add unexpected twists to the narrative. The audience is left uncertain about the truth and eager to learn more.

      Philosophical Conflict: 9

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Verbal and Kujan's beliefs about Keaton's character. Kujan sees Keaton as a cold-blooded criminal, while Verbal believes in Keaton's goodness and loyalty. This challenges Verbal's worldview and forces him to defend his beliefs.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The scene evokes strong emotions through the revelation of Keaton's alleged dark past and Verbal's desperate defense of him.

      Dialogue: 10

      The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals crucial information about the characters and their pasts.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes conflict between Verbal and Kujan. The sharp dialogue and revelations about Keaton's alleged crimes and death create suspense and intrigue. The audience is drawn into the conversation and invested in the outcome.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and building tension. The dialogue exchanges between Verbal and Kujan are well-paced, allowing for moments of suspense and reflection.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The dialogue is properly formatted with character names and dialogue tags, and the scene direction is clear and concise. The formatting enhances the readability and clarity of the scene.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear location and time description, introduces the characters, and progresses through their dialogue and actions. The scene flows smoothly and effectively conveys the conflict between Verbal and Kujan.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks visual interest and relies heavily on dialogue.
      • The tension between Kujan and Verbal could be heightened with more physical action or movement.
      • The reveal of Keaton's death feels abrupt and could benefit from more foreshadowing or buildup.
      • The dialogue could be more nuanced and less on-the-nose, particularly in Kujan's characterization of Keaton as a 'cold-blooded bastard.'
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding more physical action or movement to heighten the tension between Kujan and Verbal.
      • Foreshadow Keaton's death earlier in the screenplay to make the reveal feel less abrupt.
      • Revise the dialogue to be more nuanced and less on-the-nose, particularly in Kujan's characterization of Keaton.



      Scene 16 -  Verbal's Interrogation
      51 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 51

      KUJAN
      He was dead just long enough for a murder
      rap to blow over, then he had lunch.

      SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

      VERBAL
      I don't know about that.

      KUJAN
      I don't think you do. But you say you saw
      Keaton die. I think you're covering his
      ass and he's still out there somewhere. I
      think he was behind that whole circus in
      the harbor. My bet is he's using you
      because you're stupid and you think he's
      your friend. You tell me he's dead, so be
      it. I want to make sure he's dead before
      I go back to New York.

      VERBAL
      (Blurting)
      He wasn't behind anything. It was the
      lawyer.

      KUJAN
      What lawyer?

      PAUSE

      KUJAN
      What lawyer, Verbal?

      Verbal stammers for a moment, looking around wildly.
      65.

      VERBAL
      Back when I was in that barber shop
      quartet in Skokie, Illinois I used to
      have.

      Kujan grabs Verbal's shirt and yanks him half out of his
      seat.

      KUJAN
      You think I don't know you held out on
      the D.A.? What did you leave out of that
      testimony? I can be on the phone to Ruby
      Deemer in ten minutes.

      VERBAL
      The D.A. gave me immunity.

      KUJAN
      NOT FROM ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. THERE IS
      NO IMMUNITY FROM ME. You atone with me or
      the world you live in becomes the hell
      you fear in the back of your tiny mind.
      Every criminal I have put in prison,

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      KUJAN
      every cop who owes me a favor, every
      creeping scumbag that works the street
      for a living, will know the name of
      Verbal Kint. You'll be the lowest sort of
      rat, the prince of snitches, the loudest
      cooing stool pigeon that ever grabbed his
      ankles for the man. Now you talk to me,
      or that precious immunity they've seen so
      fit to grant you won't be worth the paper
      the contract put out on your life is
      printed on.

      Verbal looks at Kujan with utter contempt.

      VERBAL
      There was a lawyer. Kobayashi.
      66.

      KUJAN
      Is he the one that killed Keaton?

      VERBAL
      No. But I'm sure Keaton's dead.

      KUJAN
      Convince me. Tell me every last detail.

      52 SCENE DELETED 52
      Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

      Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
      Strengths
      • Intense dialogue
      • Strong performances
      • Tension and conflict
      Weaknesses
      • Some stammering and hesitation in Verbal's dialogue

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong performances and compelling dialogue.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of an intense interrogation scene where Verbal is challenged about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities is intriguing and keeps the audience hooked.

      Plot: 9

      The plot of the scene revolves around Verbal's attempt to defend Keaton and convince Kujan of his innocence, while Kujan presents evidence against Keaton. It is a crucial moment in the overall story.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist trying to convince someone of their innocence is familiar, the specific dynamics and dialogue between the characters add a fresh and unique twist. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and strong personalities. Their interactions drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

      Character Changes: 8

      Verbal experiences a shift in his perception of Keaton's innocence as Kujan presents damning evidence. This change adds complexity to Verbal's character arc.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Kujan that Keaton is dead and that he is not involved in any criminal activities. This reflects the protagonist's desire to protect himself and maintain his innocence.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid being implicated in any criminal activities and to protect himself from Kujan's threats. This reflects the immediate challenge of convincing Kujan of his innocence.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 10

      The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and filled with tension. They have opposing goals and motivations, leading to a high-stakes confrontation.

      Opposition: 9

      The opposition in this scene is strong, with Kujan challenging the protagonist's claims and threatening him. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will overcome this opposition, adding to the tension and suspense.

      High Stakes: 10

      The stakes are high as Verbal tries to defend Keaton's innocence and convince Kujan, while Kujan threatens Verbal's safety and reputation. The outcome of this confrontation has significant consequences.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward by revealing Keaton's dark past and raising doubts about his innocence. It adds a new layer of complexity to the overall narrative.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how the protagonist will convince Kujan of his innocence and what the consequences will be. The unexpected twists and turns in the dialogue add to the unpredictability.

      Philosophical Conflict: 7

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire to protect himself and Kujan's desire to uncover the truth. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values as he is forced to confront the consequences of his actions.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 9

      The scene evokes strong emotions, such as tension, frustration, and intrigue, as the audience becomes invested in the outcome of Verbal's defense of Keaton.

      Dialogue: 10

      The dialogue in the scene is sharp, intense, and reveals important information about the characters and their pasts. It keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue and the high stakes involved. The audience is invested in the protagonist's struggle to convince Kujan of his innocence and the tension between the characters keeps them engaged.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's engagement. The dialogue and actions of the characters are well-paced and contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene transitions. It is clear and easy to read.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and narrative description. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks significant action or events, making it feel stagnant and unengaging.
      • The dialogue is heavy-handed and lacks subtlety, making it feel forced and unnatural.
      • The emotional tone is one-note and doesn't evolve or change throughout the scene, making it feel monotonous.
      • The visual elements are minimal and don't add much to the scene.
      • The ending feels abrupt and unsatisfying, leaving the audience with little payoff or resolution.
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding more action or events to the scene to make it feel more dynamic and engaging.
      • Rewrite the dialogue to be more nuanced and natural, avoiding heavy-handed exposition.
      • Try to vary the emotional tone of the scene to keep it from feeling monotonous.
      • Add more significant visual elements to the scene to make it feel more immersive and engaging.
      • Consider reworking the ending to provide more payoff or resolution for the audience.



      Scene 17 -  Interrogation
      53 INT. HOSPITAL - DAY 53

      (<< >> DENOTES LINES SPOKEN IN HUNGARIAN)

      Kovash's room is now filled with people. Jack Baer stands
      next to DANIEL METZHEISER, a balding man in his forties. Next
      to him is Doctor Plumber. Across from her is Ridgly Waiters.
      Sitting beside the bed is TRACY FITZGERALD, a casually
      dressed woman in her late twenties. She holds a 15x20 inch
      drawing pad on her lap. Police fill the hall. People are
      talking loudly outside. LIONEL BODI, a cop in his mid-
      twenties pushes his way in.

      BAER
      Are you the translator?

      BODI
      Patrolman Lionel Bodi, sir.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      PLUMBER
      Agent Beer, this is getting out of hand.

      BAER
      I'11 see to it we're gone before he blows
      his porch light, Doctor. Baer gestures to
      Tracy.
      67.

      BAER
      (to Bodi)
      This is Tracy Fitzgerald. She's a
      composite sketch artist from county.

      The young couple smile at one another nervously.

      BODI
      Hi.

      TRACY
      Hi.

      METZHEISER
      (impatient)
      I've got a noon meeting, Baer.

      PLUMBER
      Agent Baer, please.

      BAER
      Everyone calm down.
      (to Bodi)
      Ask this man about the shoot-out in the
      harbor.

      BODI
      <<My name is Bodi. How are you'>>

      Kovash smiles with relief when he hears his own language.

      KOVASH
      <<How am 17 You are as stupid as that
      one, but at least I can talk to you.>>

      BODI
      <<You'll be alright. He is from the
      F.B.I. He is here to help you. He wants
      to know what happened in the harbor.>>

      KOVASH
      <<We were there to buy a man and take him
      back to Hungary.>>
      68.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      BODI
      He says they were buying It doesn't make
      sense. I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty.
      They were there to buy something.

      BAER
      Dope, we know.

      KOVASH
      <<You don't understand me either? God
      help me, they are all idiots.
      (talking slowly)
      We were there to buy a man, you simple
      boy. A witness. I don't know his name. A
      witness who knew the Devil.>>

      BODI
      Not dope. Something else. Some what?.. He
      doesn't know what they were buying. But
      not dope... people.

      KOVASH
      <<I'll tell you everything. I'11 even say
      it slow enough for you to understand it.
      Just tell this man I want protection.
      Real protection.>>

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      METZHEISER
      Your witness is whacked, Baer.

      BODI
      He says he'll tell us everything he knows
      if we protect him.

      .BAER
      Tell him fine.

      BODI
      <<He says that is fine.>>
      69.

      KOVASH
      <<No, no, no. I need a guarantee from the
      ridiculous man. I am going to be killed.
      I have seen the Devil and looked him in
      the eye.>>

      BODI
      No good. He needs guarantees. He says...
      his life is in danger... He has seen the
      Devil... looked him in the eye.

      METZHEISER
      I'11 be on my way.

      Baer grabs Metzheiser by the arm.

      BAER
      (to Bodi)
      Tell him to tell this man what he was
      telling me before. Who is the Devil? Who
      did he see?

      BODI
      <<Who is this Devil you keep talking
      about?>>

      KOVASH
      Keyser Soze He was in the harbor shooting
      everyone in sight.>>

      Metzheiser is suddenly interested.

      BODI
      He says he saw him in the harbor. He was
      shooting... Killing... Killing many men.

      METZHEISER
      Did he say Keyser Soze? He saw Keyser
      Soze?
      70.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      BODI
      He says he saw him in the harbor. He was
      shooting... Killing... Killing many men.

      METZHEISER
      Did he say Keyser Soze? He saw Keyser
      Soze.

      KOVASH
      <<Keyser Soze. Keyser Sate. I've seen his
      face. I see it when I close my eyes.>>

      BODI
      He says he knows his face. He sees it
      when he closes his eyes.

      YELLOW 06/11/94

      METZHEISER
      Ask him what this Devil looks like.

      BAER
      (to Tracy)
      Ready?

      Tracy holds up her pad and pencil. She nods.

      54 EXT. LOS ANGELES SKYLINE - DAY - FIVE WEEKS PRIOR 54

      VERBAL (V.O.)
      McManus' fence was this guy named
      Redfoot. He had a good reputation around
      L.A. Seemed like a good guy - Looked like
      a cowhide full of thumbtacks.
      Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

      Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
      Strengths
      • Tension-filled dialogue
      • Revelation of crucial information
      • Conflict between characters
      Weaknesses

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the interrogation and the revelation of Keaton's past. The dialogue is engaging and the stakes are high.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of an intense interrogation scene that challenges the protagonist's beliefs and reveals crucial information is well-executed.

        Plot: 9

        The plot progresses significantly as Kujan presents evidence against Keaton, creating a major conflict for Verbal and raising the stakes of the overall story.

        Originality: 6

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a witness needing protection is not entirely unique, the inclusion of different languages and accents adds authenticity to the characters' actions and dialogue.


        Character Development

        Characters: 9

        Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and beliefs. Their interaction drives the tension and conflict in the scene.

        Character Changes: 8

        Verbal experiences a shift in his belief in Keaton's innocence as Kujan presents damning evidence, leading to a change in his perspective.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to get protection and ensure his safety. This reflects his fear of being killed and his desire to survive.

        External Goal: 7

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to provide information about the shoot-out in the harbor and the witness they were trying to buy. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing in the investigation.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 9

        The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene forward, creating a sense of urgency and tension.

        Opposition: 7

        The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance from the doctor and the need for guarantees for his protection. The audience is unsure of how this opposition will be resolved.

        High Stakes: 9

        The stakes are high as Verbal tries to defend Keaton against the mounting evidence, potentially risking his own safety and the success of the heist.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing Keaton's dark past and raising the stakes for Verbal and the other characters.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the protagonist's request for protection will be resolved. There is a sense of uncertainty and danger.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene elicits emotions of tension, frustration, and uncertainty as Verbal tries to defend Keaton against mounting evidence.

        Dialogue: 9

        The dialogue is sharp and impactful, with Verbal and Kujan engaging in a battle of wits and verbal sparring.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it introduces a high-stakes situation and conflict, with the protagonist needing protection and providing crucial information. The dialogue and tension keep the audience invested in the scene.

        Pacing: 8

        The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and actions flow smoothly, keeping the scene engaging.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene descriptions.

        Structure: 8

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue.


        Critique
        • The scene could benefit from more clarity in terms of character introductions. It is not immediately clear who Baer and Metzheiser are and what their roles are in the scene.
        • The dialogue between Kovash and Bodi in Hungarian could be more effectively conveyed to the audience. Consider using subtitles or providing a translation in the scene description.
        • The emotional intensity of the scene could be heightened by incorporating more visual elements that reflect Kovash's fear and urgency.
        • The transition from the hospital room to the Los Angeles skyline feels abrupt and could be smoother.
        • The voiceover narration by Verbal at the end of the scene feels disconnected from the current events and interrupts the flow of the scene.
        • The scene could benefit from more conflict and tension between the characters, particularly between Kovash and Baer.
        • Consider adding more depth to the character of Tracy Fitzgerald and exploring her role in the scene beyond being a sketch artist.
        Suggestions
        • Introduce Baer and Metzheiser more clearly in the scene description to establish their roles.
        • Provide a translation or subtitles for the dialogue in Hungarian to ensure audience understanding.
        • Incorporate visual cues such as close-ups of Kovash's face or quick cuts to convey his fear and urgency.
        • Smoothly transition from the hospital room to the Los Angeles skyline by using a visual transition or a clear scene break.
        • Consider removing the voiceover narration by Verbal at the end of the scene to maintain focus on the current events.
        • Introduce more conflict and tension between Kovash and Baer to heighten the emotional intensity of the scene.
        • Develop Tracy Fitzgerald's character further and explore her role beyond being a sketch artist.



        Scene 18 -  Interrogation and Revelation
        55 EXT. FRIENDSHIP BELL - NIGHT 55

        All five guys stand in a group. It is utterly quiet. An old
        but well kept Cadillac creeps into the lot from the far end
        and idles up to them. The windows are tinted too much to see
        in. The car passes within a few feet of them and drives on.
        71.
        A moment later, a chrome and leather monster of a Harley
        Davidson pulls into the lot. The rider is dressed in an
        almost comical array of leather, silver and suede.

        He waves to the Caddy as it parks a few yards from Keaton and
        the others. It sits quietly, almost menacing.

        As he gets closer, we can see he is wearing one black boot
        and one red. Keaton is still looking at them when the bike
        pulls up to them and stops.

        REDFOOT and McManus shake hands.

        REDFOOT
        How've you been?

        MCMANUS
        Good. You?

        REDFOOT
        Alright. How's it going, Fenster?

        FENSTER
        Getting by.

        SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

        REDFOOT
        You got it?

        McManus holds up a briefcase.

        Redfoot takes it and gets off the bike. He walks over to the
        Caddy. The door of the Caddy opens. Redfoot hands the case to
        Someone inside that we cannot see. The door closes.

        KEATON
        (whispering)
        Snazzy dresser this guy.

        A moment later, the door of the Caddy opens again. Someone
        hands Redfoot a different briefcase and he walks back over to
        McManus.

        He hands him the case.
        72.

        McManus hands the case back to Hockney. Hockney opens it,
        revealing the stacks of money inside.

        REDFOOT
        You must be Keaton.

        MCMANUS
        Jesus, I'm sorry. Redfoot, this is Dean
        Keaton, that's Todd Hockney, and that's
        Verbal Kint.

        REDFOOT
        (to Verbal)
        The man with the plan.

        Verbal smiles.

        REDFOOT
        Are you guys interested in more work?

        McManus moves to answer, but Keaton cuts him off.

        KEATON
        We're on vacation.

        REDFOOT
        I've got a ton of work and no good
        people.

        MCMANUS
        What's the job?

        SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

        Keaton shoots McManus a foul look. McManus pretends not to
        notice.

        REDFOOT
        A jeweler out of Texas named Saul. He
        rents a suite at a hotel downtown and
        does free appraisals. Buys whatever he
        can. Word is he moves with a lot of cash.
        73.
        I'11 take the merchandise, you keep the
        green.

        HOCKNEY
        Security?

        REDFOOT
        Two bodyguards. Pretty good.

        MCMANUS
        Give us time to check it out?

        REDFOOT
        I'd expect nothing less.

        MCMANUS
        We'll call you.

        REDFOOT
        Take your time. Enjoy L.A.

        KEATON
        A friend of mine in New York tells me you
        knew Spook Hollis.

        REDFOOT
        I hear you did time with old Spook. Yeah,
        he was a good egg. I used to run a lot of
        dope for him. Fuckin' shame he got
        shivved.

        KEATON
        I shivved him.

        Now McManus is shooting the angry look at Keaton.

        KEATON
        Better you hear it from me now than
        somebody else later.

        REDFOOT
        Business or personal?
        74.

        SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

        KEATON
        A little of both.

        REDFOOT
        Ain't it a crime? Call if you're
        interested.

        Redfoot fires up his bike and takes off with the Caddy close
        behind.

        MCMANUS
        (to Keaton)
        What's your fucking problem?

        KEATON
        One job, that was the deal.

        MCMANUS
        Take it as it comes, brother.

        KEATON
        This is bullshit.

        McManus laughs and walks away. Fenster and Hockney follow.
        Verbal turns to Keaton.

        VERBAL
        What is it Keaton?

        KEATON
        (distant)
        Something - I don't know.
        (shaking himself)
        I ever tell you about the restaurant I
        wanted to open?

        Keaton walks off. Verbal follows him in confusion.

        VERBAL (V.O.)
        L.A., was good for about two hours. We
        were from New York.
        75.
        There's no place to eat after one; you
        can't get a pizza that doesn't taste like
        a fried fruit-bat, and the broads don't
        want to know you if you don't look like a
        broad. Within a few days the last of us
        was ready to go back to N.Y., but Keaton
        wouldn't have it, so he really didn't
        have a choice. We went to work.

        YELLOW 06/11/94
        Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

        Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
        Strengths "Tension-filled dialogue, strong character dynamics, and a revelation of Keaton's dark past."
        Weaknesses "Emotional impact could be stronger."

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 8

        The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the interrogation and revelation of Keaton's past. The dialogue is engaging and the stakes are high.


        Story Content

        Concept: 7

        The concept of an interrogation scene that reveals a character's dark past is intriguing and adds depth to the story.

        Plot: 8

        The plot progresses as Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence are challenged and the truth about Keaton's past is revealed.

        Originality: 6

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall premise of a group of criminals discussing a potential job is familiar, the specific details and character dynamics in this scene add a fresh and unique perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


        Character Development

        Characters: 9

        Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and beliefs. Their interaction drives the tension in the scene.

        Character Changes: 8

        Verbal experiences a shift in his perception of Keaton as Kujan presents damning evidence.

        Internal Goal: 7

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Keaton is grappling with a personal conflict related to his past actions and relationships. This is evident when he reveals to Redfoot that he shivved Spook Hollis, a mutual acquaintance. Keaton's internal goal reflects his need to confront and take responsibility for his past actions.

        External Goal: 8

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about a potential job offered by Redfoot. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges the characters are facing, as they are presented with an opportunity for more work.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 9

        The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene forward.

        Opposition: 7

        The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there is no significant obstacle or conflict, the tension between Keaton and McManus adds a layer of opposition and raises questions about their future actions and decisions.

        High Stakes: 9

        The stakes are high as Verbal tries to defend Keaton's innocence and Kujan presents evidence of his criminal activities.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene reveals important information about Keaton's past and progresses the overall story.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information about the characters' past actions and relationships. The revelation that Keaton shivved Spook Hollis adds a layer of complexity and raises questions about the characters' motivations and loyalties.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 7

        The scene elicits tension and intrigue, but the emotional impact is not as strong as other elements.

        Dialogue: 9

        The dialogue is sharp and engaging, with Verbal and Kujan engaging in a battle of wits and conflicting narratives.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it introduces a new character, Redfoot, and presents a potential job opportunity for the protagonists. The dialogue and interactions between the characters create tension and intrigue, keeping the audience invested in the story.

        Pacing: 8

        The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The concise and focused narrative description, as well as the dialogue exchanges, contribute to the scene's pacing and rhythm.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

        Structure: 8

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through their dialogue and actions. The scene effectively establishes the context and sets up future events in the narrative.


        Critique
        • The scene lacks clear conflict or tension beyond Keaton's frustration with the group's willingness to take on more work.
        • The dialogue feels somewhat stilted and lacks the natural flow of conversation.
        • The visual elements, while interesting, do not add much to the scene beyond establishing Redfoot's character.
        • The scene could benefit from more character development and exploration of the group's dynamics.
        • The reveal of Keaton killing Spook Hollis feels somewhat forced and could be better integrated into the plot.
        • Overall, the scene feels somewhat flat and could benefit from more dramatic tension and character development.
        Suggestions
        • Consider adding more conflict or tension to the scene, such as a disagreement between the group members or a more challenging job offer from Redfoot.
        • Work on making the dialogue feel more natural and conversational, with each character having a distinct voice and perspective.
        • Think about how the visual elements can better serve the story and add depth to the characters.
        • Explore the group's dynamics and relationships more deeply, perhaps through flashbacks or character backstory.
        • Consider integrating the reveal of Keaton killing Spook Hollis more organically into the plot, rather than as a sudden revelation.
        • Overall, focus on creating a more engaging and dynamic scene that advances the plot and develops the characters.



        Scene 19 -  The Heist
        56 INT. PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT 56

        McManus walks along a line of cars. He comes across a black
        Mercedes and stops. He looks down at the license plate and
        walks over to the next car, a green Honda. He pulls a slim-
        jim out of his jacket and pops the lock an the Honda. He
        reaches in and opens the hood. He walks around and sticks his
        head in the engine.

        57 INT. VAN 57

        Verbal sits behind the wheel. Keaton is beside him. Hockney
        and Fenster are in the back. They all watch McManus from
        where they are parked a few dozen yards away.

        58 INT. PARKING GARAGE 58

        DING-DING

        The elevator bell sounds at the far end of the garage. The
        doors open. Two men in ill-fitting suits get out and look
        around cautiously. The first is TUCCI, a big bellied, white
        haired menace. The other is HIGHAM, lean and bad skinned.
        They are bodyguards and give it away by their every careful
        move.

        They turn back to the elevator and motion to someone inside.

        Out walks SAUL BERG, a slightly overweight man in his forties
        with an open collar silk shirt and a thick gold chain on his
        hairy chest. He carries a LARGE ALUMINUM BRIEFCASE.
        76.

        He lets his guards do the worrying. He walks straight to his
        car.

        Saul passes McManus under the hood of the Honda. He takes out
        his keys and pushes a button on his key chain. The Mercedes
        beeps three times and tells Saul his alarm is off.

        Tucci keeps an eye on McManus. Higham watches Saul.

        McManus pretends to tinker with the car's engine. He has put
        a pistol just inside the grill and keeps it within reach.

        The van on the other side of the garage starts and pulls out
        of the spot. It cruises over toward the Mercedes.

        Tucci sees the van. He and Higham are suddenly busy trying to
        keep track. They hear laughing behind them and turn around.

        YELLOW 06/11/94

        FENSTER and HOCKNEY are walking towards them. They are
        sporting mustaches and sunglasses in addition to matching
        suits, each with loud plaid sport coats, decades out of
        style. Saul glances at Tucci and Higham.

        HIGHAM
        Just get in the car Saul.

        Under the hood of the Honda and out of sight, McManus pulls
        on a black ski mask. The van gets closer.

        HOCKNEY
        I get out of the car, and man if the
        thing wasn't wrecked. And I see this
        broad in the back seat with nothing on.

        Saul gets in the car quickly but calmly as Fenster and
        Hockney laugh and talk louder. They look drunk - The desired
        effect.

        HOCKNEY
        I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe -
        77.

        Tucci and Higham try to take it all in stride. Saul's reverse
        lights come on and he begins to back out of the spot.

        HOCKNEY
        ...And the fat guy comes out of the car
        with his pants on backwards and says -

        SUDDENLY, the van revs and screeches to a halt behind Saul's
        Mercedes, blocking him in. Hockney and Fenster drop the drunk
        act and snap to. They both pull out guns and start screaming.

        HOCKNEY
        DON'T MOVE, YOU FUCKERS.

        FENSTER
        RIGHT THERE. FREEZE.

        McManus comes up from under the hood.

        Tucci and Higham throw their hands in the air. Hockney and
        Fenster grab them and reach into their belts to get their
        guns.

        Keaton jumps out of the van and runs up to Saul's car, his
        face covered in a ski mask. He yanks on the door handle but
        it is locked. Saul sits in terror behind the wheel. Keaton
        pulls out a pistol and smashes the window with it.

        YELLOW 06/11/94

        KEATON
        Give me the case.

        Saul reaches over for the case. Keaton trains the gun on him.

        SUDDENLY, Saul comes up with a pistol and points it at
        Keaton. Keaton sidesteps and grabs his wrist. The gun goes
        off into the fender of the Honda.

        Hockney and Fenster both look over at the sound of the gun.

        Tucci and Higham seize the opportunity. Tucci grabs Hockney,
        Higham grabs Fenster. The four men grapple for the guns.
        78.

        Fenster's gun falls to the floor. McManus picks it up. He
        trains a pistol on each bodyguard and takes a breath. They
        are some ten feet apart and moving erratically. Hockney and
        Fenster constantly fall in the line of fire.

        McManus walks around the four men, keeping a pistol trained
        on each of the guards. Finally he comes to an angle where
        they are all in front of him. One guard is a few feet away,
        the other is ten feet past him.

        McMANUS' P.O.V.

        The closer of the two moves in and out of the sights of the
        pistol in McManus' right hand, the one farther away does the
        same with the left.

        Verbal gets out of the van and moves towards them to help.

        BOOM

        Both of McManus' guns go off like one shot. Tucci and Higham
        collapse, each with a bullet in his head

        PAUSE

        The only sound is Saul grappling with Keaton for the gun. His
        arm is halfway out the window. His elbow rests in the door
        frame.

        Keaton cannot get the gun out of his hand. Finally, he pushes
        down with all his weight. Saul's elbow breaks backwards on
        the door frame. He screams in agony. The gun falls from his
        hand.

        BLUE 06/01/94

        All five of the men look at each other for an impossibly long
        moment. The confusion is only aggravated by Saul's screaming.

        SLOWLY, Keaton raises his pistol and aims it at Saul. His
        hand trembles, his eyes squint to near slits. His finger
        tenses and slacks off over and over again on the trigger.

        BOOM
        79.

        VERBAL SHOOTS SAUL. Keaton looks at him in surprise. Verbal
        trembles more than he does.

        The garage is silent.

        HOCKNEY
        What the hell?

        MCMANUS
        Bad day. Fuck it.

        DING-DING

        The elevator light comes on. All five men look.

        KEATON
        Move.

        Keaton reaches into the car and grabs Saul's case. Everyone
        else piles into the van. Keaton gets in as Verbal is driving
        for the exit.
        Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

        Summary In this scene, a group of criminals led by Keaton execute a heist in a parking garage. They confront Saul, who possesses a valuable briefcase. A chaotic shootout ensues, resulting in the death of Saul and his bodyguards. Verbal, one of the criminals, unexpectedly shoots Saul, adding to the tension. The group escapes with the briefcase.
        Strengths "The scene is filled with tension, conflict, and unexpected twists, keeping the audience engaged. The intense action and the surprising character development add depth to the scene."
        Weaknesses "The scene may be overwhelming for some viewers due to the chaotic shootout and the sudden twist of Verbal shooting Saul."

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene is highly engaging and filled with tension, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. The unexpected twist adds an element of surprise and raises the stakes.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of a high-stakes heist and the unexpected turn of events make for an exciting and suspenseful scene.

        Plot: 9

        The plot of the scene revolves around the execution of a heist and the confrontation with Saul. The intense action and unexpected twist drive the plot forward.

        Originality: 4

        The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situation of a group of criminals attempting to steal from a car in a parking garage is a familiar trope in crime films. The actions and dialogue of the characters are not particularly unique or fresh.


        Character Development

        Characters: 8

        The characters in the scene are well-developed and their actions and dialogue contribute to the tension and conflict. Verbal's surprising action adds depth to his character.

        Character Changes: 7

        Verbal's unexpected action of shooting Saul showcases a significant change in his character, revealing a hidden side to his personality.

        Internal Goal: 7

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that McManus wants to successfully steal something from Saul Berg's car without getting caught. This reflects his desire for financial gain and his willingness to take risks.

        External Goal: 9

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to steal something from Saul Berg's car. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, as they need to complete the theft without being detected by the bodyguards or Saul himself.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 10

        The scene is filled with intense conflict, both physical and emotional, as the criminals confront Saul and his bodyguards.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong, as the bodyguards present a significant obstacle for the characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and whether the characters will be successful in their theft.

        High Stakes: 9

        The stakes are high in this scene as the criminals risk their lives to obtain the valuable briefcase and confront Saul and his bodyguards.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene moves the story forward by resolving the conflict between the criminals and Saul, leading to the acquisition of the valuable briefcase.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the outcome of the theft and the characters' actions are not immediately clear. The introduction of the bodyguards adds an element of uncertainty and potential danger.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, fear, and surprise, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

        Dialogue: 7

        The dialogue in the scene is intense and reflects the conflict between the characters. It effectively conveys their motivations and emotions.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it is filled with suspense and action. The reader or viewer is drawn into the tension of the characters' criminal activity and the possibility of getting caught.

        Pacing: 9

        The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with quick action and minimal dialogue. This contributes to the effectiveness of the scene in building suspense and maintaining the reader or viewer's engagement.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

        Structure: 8

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a setup of the location and characters, followed by the execution of the theft, and ends with a resolution and escape.


        Critique
        • The scene lacks clear and concise descriptions of the characters' movements and actions, making it difficult to visualize the scene.
        • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, particularly in the exchange between Hockney and Fenster.
        • The emotional tone of the scene could be heightened by adding more suspense and tension-building moments.
        • The visual elements could be enhanced by providing more details about the surroundings and the characters' appearances.
        • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, and some moments could benefit from being slowed down to increase the impact.
        • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and could be improved by adding a moment of reflection or reaction from the characters.
        Suggestions
        • Revise the scene to include more specific and vivid descriptions of the characters' movements and actions.
        • Work on making the dialogue more natural and authentic, ensuring that it reflects the characters' personalities and motivations.
        • Consider adding suspenseful moments or twists to increase the tension and keep the audience engaged.
        • Provide more details about the setting and the characters' appearances to enhance the visual elements of the scene.
        • Take the time to build up to key moments in the scene, allowing the audience to fully experience the impact.
        • Consider adding a brief moment after the shooting to show the characters' reactions and provide closure to the scene.



        Scene 20 -  Revelations and Confrontations
        59 INT. VAN 59

        The mood in the van is grim. Everyone is silent. Keaton pops
        the clasps on the case and opens it.

        KEATON
        Son of a bitch.

        Everyone looks in the case. It is filled with cash on one
        side. The other side is filled with clear plastic bags of
        WHITE POWDER.

        60 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT 60

        Keaton and the others stand in silhouette in front of the
        lights of an oncoming car in the distance. We can make out
        McManus loading a gun.

        KEATON
        What are you doing?
        80.

        YELLOW 06/11/94

        MCMANUS
        What does it look like? I'm going to kill
        him.

        KEATON
        We did it your way. Now I'11 deal with
        him.

        MCMANUS
        You gonna kill him?

        KEATON
        I'm going to deal with him.

        The car, Redfoot's escort Caddy, is now in front of them. The
        horn lets out three short blasts.

        Redfoot comes around from behind the Caddy on his motorcycle.
        He gets off the bike, trying to hide a faint smile. McManus
        throws Saul's case on the ground in front of him.

        MCMANUS
        What the fuck is this, Redfoot?

        REDFOOT
        Get a grip. I didn't know.

        KEATON
        You didn't know.

        YELLOW 06/11/94

        REDFOOT
        The job got thrown to me by this lawyer.

        KEATON
        Who is he?

        REDFOOT
        Some Limey. He's a middle-man for
        somebody. He doesn't say and I don't ask.
        81.

        KEATON
        We want to meet him.

        REDFOOT
        He wants to meet you. He called last
        night and asked me to set it up. What do
        I tell him'

        KEATON
        Tell him we'll meet.

        MCMANUS
        If you're lying, Redfoot...

        REDFOOT
        McManus, you're a real bad-ass, but get
        off my tip.

        McManus lunges for Redfoot.

        The Caddy doors instantly pop open and rifle barrels come
        into view from within.

        Fenster and Hockney draw guns and aim at the Caddy. Keaton
        and Verbal grab McManus and hold him back. Redfoot gets on
        his Harley, smiling defiantly.

        REDFOOT
        Real shame about Saul getting whacked.
        Lot's of cops looking for the guys that
        did it. I'm sure they'll get around to
        asking me.

        He starts his bike.

        YELLOW 06/11/94

        MCMANUS
        Fuck you.

        Redfoot drives off..The Caddy waits until he is completely
        out of sight before following.
        82.

        61 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT 61

        KUJAN
        So this lawyer...

        VERBAL
        Kobayashi.

        KUJAN
        Came from Redfoot.

        VERBAL
        Right.

        KUJAN
        And why leave this out when you talked to
        the D.A.?

        A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

        Rabin sticks his head in.

        RABIN
        Someone to see you, Agent Kujan.

        Kujan steps out into the hall, shutting the door behind him.
        Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

        Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
        Strengths
        • Intense tension and conflict
        • Revelation of Keaton's dark past
        • Sharp dialogue
        Weaknesses

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 9

          The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong conflict and tension between the characters. The revelation of Keaton's dark past adds depth to the story and raises the stakes.


          Story Content

          Concept: 8

          The concept of an interrogation scene where the truth about a character's past is revealed is compelling and keeps the audience engaged.

          Plot: 9

          The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Verbal and Kujan, as well as the revelation of Keaton's past. It is crucial in advancing the story and raising the stakes.

          Originality: 6

          The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters discovering cash and drugs in a case is not entirely unique, the specific details and dialogue add authenticity and freshness to the scene. The characters' actions and dialogue feel realistic and true to their motivations and circumstances.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters of Verbal and Kujan are well-developed and their conflicting motivations and beliefs create tension and drive the scene.

          Character Changes: 7

          Verbal's defense of Keaton and the revelation of Keaton's past may lead to a change in Verbal's perception of Keaton and his own involvement.

          Internal Goal: 8

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront and deal with the person responsible for the situation they find themselves in. This reflects their need for control and justice, as well as their fear of being taken advantage of or betrayed.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to meet the lawyer who set up the job. This reflects the immediate challenge of finding out who is behind the criminal activities and potentially seeking revenge or retribution.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 9

          The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene. The revelation of Keaton's past adds another layer of conflict.

          Opposition: 8

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters are faced with the challenge of confronting the person responsible for their predicament. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will go and what the consequences will be.

          High Stakes: 9

          The revelation of Keaton's past and the conflict between Verbal and Kujan raise the stakes for the characters, potentially putting their lives and freedom at risk.

          Story Forward: 9

          The scene reveals important information about Keaton's past and raises the stakes for the characters. It propels the story forward.

          Unpredictability: 7

          This scene is unpredictable because the characters' actions and the introduction of the lawyer as a middle-man add an element of uncertainty and mystery. The audience is left wondering who is behind the criminal activities and what will happen next.

          Philosophical Conflict: 6

          There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the characters' desire for control and justice and the unpredictable and chaotic nature of the criminal world they inhabit. This challenges their beliefs and values, as they must navigate a morally ambiguous landscape.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 8

          The scene evokes tension and suspense, keeping the audience emotionally engaged. The revelation of Keaton's past may also elicit empathy or shock.

          Dialogue: 8

          The dialogue is sharp and intense, reflecting the conflict between Verbal and Kujan. It effectively conveys the tension and reveals important information.

          Engagement: 9

          This scene is engaging because it is filled with tension and suspense. The characters' actions and dialogue keep the audience on the edge of their seat, wondering what will happen next.

          Pacing: 9

          The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast and suspenseful rhythm. The short and snappy dialogue, combined with the minimalistic description, keeps the scene moving at a brisk pace.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses clear and concise action lines and dialogue formatting to effectively convey the visuals and dialogue.

          Structure: 8

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting and atmosphere, introduces the conflict and goals of the characters, and ends on a cliffhanger that propels the narrative forward.


          Critique
          • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It seems to be a transitional scene that doesn't add much to the overall plot.
          • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, particularly the exchange between Redfoot and the group.
          • The tension in the scene is not effectively built up and the emotional tone feels flat.
          • The visual elements could be more impactful and add to the tension of the scene.
          • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and unsatisfying.
          Suggestions
          • Consider cutting or condensing this scene to make it more purposeful and impactful.
          • Work on making the dialogue more natural and believable.
          • Build up the tension in the scene through effective use of visual elements and pacing.
          • Consider adding a clear conflict and resolution to the scene to make it more engaging.
          • Reconsider the ending of the scene to make it more satisfying and impactful.



          Scene 21 -  The Revelation
          62 INT. OUTSIDE RABIN'S OFFICE 62

          Kujan smiles instantly, recognizing the man standing with
          Rabin.

          KUJAN
          Jack. What are you doing here?

          BAER
          I've been looking all over for you. You
          still after the coke that walked out of
          that blood bath in the harbor?

          KUJAN
          Yeah.
          83.

          BAER
          You can stop looking. There was no coke.
          I've been in L.A. county with a guy they

          PINK 06/07/94

          BAER
          pulled out of a drainpipe in San Pedro
          yesterday after the shoot-out. He came to
          this morning and started talking. He was
          part of a Hungarian mob there to do a
          deal with a bunch of goats from
          Argentina. He says it was definitely not
          a dope deal.

          KUJAN
          There was ninety-one million -

          BAER
          We know, but our man says no way on the
          dope. This Hungarian tells me the whole
          bunch was pulling stumps for Turkey the
          next' day. They had no time to negotiate
          that kind of product and no means to move
          it.

          KUJAN
          What was the money for?

          BAER
          He didn't know. No one doing the deal
          knew except a few key people. This guy
          says they were real hush about it.
          Whatever it was it was highly sensitive.

          KUJAN
          I don't get it.

          BAER
          They tell me you got the cripple from New
          York in there. He mention Keyser Soze?
          84.

          KUJAN
          Who?

          BAER
          Bear with me here...

          63 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - LATER 63

          BOOM - The door bursts open.

          KUJAN
          Who is Keyser Soze?

          Verbal looks up in shock. He drops his cigarette and trembles
          at the mere mention of the name.

          YELLOW 06/11/94

          VERBAL
          Ahhh fuck.
          Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

          Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
          Strengths
          • Intense tension and conflict
          • Revelation of Keaton's dark past
          • Strong performances
          Weaknesses

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 9

            The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong performances and compelling dialogue.


            Story Content

            Concept: 8

            The concept of revealing a character's dark past and challenging their innocence adds depth and complexity to the story.

            Plot: 9

            The plot takes a significant turn as Keaton's past is revealed, creating a new layer of conflict and raising the stakes for the characters.

            Originality: 7

            This scene demonstrates a moderate level of originality. While the overall setting and themes of crime and deception are familiar, the specific details and twists in the plot, such as the mention of Keyser Soze, add a fresh and unexpected element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality of the scene.


            Character Development

            Characters: 9

            Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and strong personalities.

            Character Changes: 9

            Verbal experiences a significant shift in his perception of Keaton and his own involvement in criminal activities.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the missing cocaine and the mysterious Keyser Soze. This reflects their desire for justice and their fear of being deceived or manipulated.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about the recent events and the involvement of Keyser Soze. This reflects the immediate challenge of solving the case and bringing the criminals to justice.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 10

            The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene forward.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with new information that challenges their beliefs and raises questions about the case. The mention of Keyser Soze adds an element of mystery and danger.

            High Stakes: 9

            The stakes are high as Verbal's credibility and Keaton's innocence are on the line.

            Story Forward: 10

            The revelation about Keaton's past propels the story forward and raises new questions for the audience.

            Unpredictability: 8

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and twists in the plot, such as the revelation that the missing cocaine was not actually a part of a drug deal. The mention of Keyser Soze adds an element of mystery and intrigue.

            Philosophical Conflict: 6

            There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in justice and the criminal activities and deception they are confronted with. This challenges their worldview and raises questions about the nature of truth and morality.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 9

            The scene evokes strong emotions as Verbal's loyalty to Keaton is tested and his past actions are questioned.

            Dialogue: 10

            The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot.

            Engagement: 9

            This scene is engaging because it introduces new information and raises questions about the missing cocaine and the mysterious Keyser Soze. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, creating tension and intrigue. The cliffhanger ending leaves the audience wanting to know more.

            Pacing: 9

            The pacing of the scene is fast and engaging, with concise and impactful dialogue driving the narrative forward. The cliffhanger ending adds to the sense of urgency and leaves the audience wanting to know more.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene heading is clear and concise, the dialogue is properly formatted with character names and dialogue lines, and the scene direction is minimalistic and focused on the actions and reactions of the characters.

            Structure: 9

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a brief description of the setting, followed by dialogue between the characters. The scene ends with a cliffhanger, creating suspense and leaving the audience wanting to know more.


            Critique
            • The scene lacks a clear purpose or goal. It seems to exist solely to provide exposition about the harbor shoot-out and Keyser Soze. Consider adding a more specific objective for the characters in this scene.
            • The dialogue feels stilted and unnatural, particularly Baer's exposition about the Hungarian mob and their purpose for the money. Consider finding a more organic way to convey this information.
            • The emotional tone of the scene is flat and lacks tension. Consider adding more conflict or stakes to the scene to increase the tension and engage the audience.
            • The scene could benefit from more visual elements or actions to break up the dialogue and add interest to the scene. Consider adding more physical movement or props to the scene.
            Suggestions
            • Consider giving Kujan and Baer a more specific objective or goal in this scene, such as negotiating a deal or making a decision about the harbor shoot-out.
            • Try to find a more organic way to convey the exposition about the harbor shoot-out and the Hungarian mob's purpose for the money, such as through a conversation or discovery rather than a monologue.
            • Increase the tension and stakes in the scene by adding more conflict or obstacles for the characters to overcome.
            • Add more visual elements or actions to the scene to break up the dialogue and add interest, such as props or physical movement.



            Scene 22 -  The Proposal
            64 INT. HOLLYWOOD ATHLETIC CLUB - DAY - TWO WEEKS PRIOR 64

            Keaton stands while the rest sit and listen.

            KEATON
            So I need to know if anyone can think of
            anybody. Somebody with power. Enough to
            possibly track us from New York.

            MCMANUS
            Look. We've been over it for an hour now.
            I say we pack up and run. Let's go back
            to New York. At least get out of L.A.

            SUDDENLY, The sound of a man clearing his throat. Everyone
            turns to the door behind them. MR. KOBAYASHI a tall, slim,
            well groomed man stands in the hall. He has a briefcase in
            his hand. He smiles politely.

            KOBAYASHI
            Mr. Keaton?
            85.

            Keaton stands back and lets him in. Kobayashi looks them
            over.

            KOBAYASHI
            I am Mr. Kobayashi. I've been asked by my
            employer to bring a proposal to you
            gentlemen. That must be Mr. Hockney. I
            recognize Mr. Fenster from his mug shot,
            as well as Mr. McManus.
            (to Verbal)
            I can only assume that you are Mr. Kint.
            I believe you were the one who disposed
            of Saul. My employer sends his gratitude.
            A most unexpected benefit.

            Everyone looks at one another in shock that he would know
            this.

            KEATON
            What can we do for you?

            BLUE 06/01/94

            KOBAYASHI
            My employer requires your services. One
            job. One day's work. Very dangerous. I
            don't expect all of you to live, but
            those who do will have ninety-one million
            dollars to divide any way they see fit.

            KEATON
            Who's your boss?

            KOBAYASHI
            My employer wishes to remain anonymous.

            KEATON
            Don't jerk me off. We all know what this
            is. You don't work with me if I work with
            you without knowing who I'm working for.
            Now let's cut the shit. Who's the man?
            86.

            KOBAYASHI
            I work for Keyser Sate.

            A strange look crosses Keaton's face. Skepticism, mockery and
            just a hint of fear. Hockney, McManus and Fenster all share
            similar looks.

            KEATON
            What is this?

            VERBAL
            Who's Keyser Soze?

            KOBAYASHI
            I am sure you've heard a number of tall
            tales, myths and legends about Mr. Soze I
            can assure you gentlemen, most of them
            are true.

            VERBAL
            Who's Keyser Soze?

            KOBAYASHI
            Judging by the sudden change in mood, I
            am sure the rest of your associates can
            tell you, Mr. Kint. I have come with an
            offer directly from Mr. Soze. An order
            actually.

            KEATON
            An order.

            BLUE 06/01/94

            KOBAYASHI
            In nineteen-eighty one, Mr. Keaton, you
            participated in the hijacking of a truck
            in Buffalo, New York. The cargo was raw
            steel. Steel that belonged to Mr. Soze
            and was destined for Pakistan to be used
            in a Nuclear reactor. A very profitable
            violation of U.N. Regulations.
            87.
            You had no way of knowing this, because
            the man shipping the steel was working
            for Mr. Sate without his knowledge.
            (beat)
            Mr. Fenster and Mr. McManus hijacked a
            twin-prop cargo flight earlier this year
            out of Newark airport. The plane was
            carrying platinum and gold wiring. Also
            set for Pakistan.

            Kobayashi turns and points at Hockney.

            KOBAYASHI
            Two months ago, Mr. Hockney stole a truck
            carrying gun parts through Queens -

            Everyone looks at Hockney. He smiles shyly. It occurs to them
            all that he robbed the truck for which they were all arrested
            in the first place.

            KOBAYASHI
            - guns allegedly set to be destroyed by
            the state of New York. They were to be
            "lost" in a weigh station and routed to
            Belfast. Again, Mr. Sate using pawns who
            had no knowledge.
            (turning to Verbal)
            Which brings us to Mr. Kint.

            Verbal crumbles under his stare.

            KOBAYASHI
            Nine months ago, one of Mr. Soze less
            than intelligent couriers was taken in a
            complicated confidence seam by a cripple.
            He was relieved of sixty-two thousand
            dollars. Now
            (to all of them)
            - It has taken us some time to find you.
            Our intention was to approach you after
            your apprehension in New York.
            88.

            BLUE 06/01/94

            KEATON
            You set up the line-up.

            KOBAYASHI
            Mr. Soze made a few calls, yes. You were
            not to be released until I came to see
            you. It seems Mr. Keaton's attorney, Ms.
            Finneran, was a bit too effective in
            expediting his release. Holding the rest
            of you became a moot point.

            KEATON
            What about Redfoot?

            KOBAYASHI
            Mr. Redfoot knew nothing. Mr. Soze rarely
            t works with the same people for very
            long, and they never know who they're
            working for. One cannot be betrayed if
            one has no people.

            FENSTER
            So why tell us?

            KOBAYASHI
            Because you have stolen from Mr. Soze.
            That you did not know you stole from him
            is the only reason you are still alive,
            but he feels you owe him. You will repay
            your debt.

            HOCKNEY
            Who is this guy? How do we know you work
            for Soze

            KOBAYASHI
            I don't think that is relevant, Mr.
            Hockney. The five of you are responsible
            for the murder of Saul Berg and his
            bodyguards.
            89.
            Mr. Redfoot can attest to your
            involvement, and we can see to it that he
            will. He is not of your "superior" breed.

            MCMANUS
            This is a load of shit.

            KOBAYASHI
            The offer is this, gentlemen. Mr. Soze's
            primary interest, as I am sure you all
            know, is narcotics. He's been - competing
            shall we say, with a group of

            YELLOW 06/11/94

            KOBAYASHI
            Argentinians for several years. Competing
            with Mr. Soze has taken its toll. These
            Argentinians are negotiating the sale of
            ninety-one million dollars in cocaine in
            three days time. Needless to say, this
            purchase will revitalize the diminishing
            strength of their organization. Mr. Soze
            wants you to stop the deal. If you
            choose, you may wait until the buy.
            Whatever money changes hands is yours.
            The transaction will take place on a boat
            in San Pedro. Mr. Soze wants you to get
            to the boat and destroy the cocaine on
            board. Then you are free of your
            obligation to Mr. Soze.

            KEATON
            Give me one good reason why I shouldn't
            kill you right now.

            Kobayashi smiles and puts his briefcase on the table in front
            of him.

            KOBAYASHI
            A gift from Mr. Soze gentlemen.

            He turns and walks out of the room.
            90.

            Keaton walks over to the case and opens it. He reaches in and
            pulls out five thick manila envelopes, each marked in bold
            black letters. "KEATON", "McMANUS", "HOCKNEY", "FENSTER" and
            "KINT"

            Keaton pulls out the files, revealing a map underneath.

            Keaton hands each man his file. He opens his first. He pulls
            out a thick stack of papers and thumbs through them.

            KEATON
            Jesus Christ. Open them.

            All of the men open their files. Inside are mug shots of each
            man in his respective file as well as a printout of his
            criminal record. But there is more.

            HOCKNEY
            They know everything.

            MCMANUS
            This is my life in here. Everything I've
            done since I was eighteen.

            BLUE 06/01/94

            FENSTER
            Everybody I ever worked with, did time
            with.

            HOCKNEY
            They fucking know everything.

            Keaton pulls out a large black and white photograph of
            himself and his lawyer EDIE FINNERAN. They are laughing arm
            in arm by a fountain in New York. He hides the photo from the
            others.

            KEATON
            This is not right.
            91.

            FENSTER
            I don't know. Who was that guy that used
            to talk about Soze in New York?

            MCMANUS
            Bricks Marlin.

            FENSTER
            Yeah. He said he did jobs for him.
            Indirect stuff. Always five times more
            money than the job was worth.

            KEATON
            Come on. The guy is a pipe dream. This
            Kobayashi is using him for window
            dressing.

            FENSTER
            I don't know. This is bad.

            HOCKNEY
            It's bullshit. This guy could be L.A.P.D.
            I think it's a setup.

            FENSTER
            The way I hear it, Soze is some kind of
            butcher. No pity.

            KEATON
            There' is no Keyser Soze.

            Verbal thumbs through his file. A long list of names,
            numbers, addresses. It is a detailed portfolio of his entire
            criminal and personal life. He looks up at Keaton.

            BLUE 06/01/94

            VERBAL
            Who is Keyser Soze
            Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

            Summary Keaton and his group of criminals are approached by Mr. Kobayashi, who reveals that they have unknowingly stolen from the infamous Keyser Soze. Kobayashi offers them a dangerous job to repay their debt to Soze, involving stopping a drug deal and destroying the cocaine. Keaton is skeptical of Soze's existence, but the evidence presented convinces the group that they are in deep trouble.
            Strengths
            • Tense and conflict-filled dialogue
            • Revelation of the involvement of Keyser Soze
            • High-stakes and suspenseful plot
            Weaknesses
            • Limited character development in this specific scene

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 9

            The scene effectively builds tension and conflict, introduces a major plot twist, and sets up high stakes for the characters. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their predicament.


            Story Content

            Concept: 8

            The concept of the criminals unknowingly stealing from Keyser Soze and being forced to repay their debt adds intrigue and suspense to the story. The introduction of a dangerous job and the involvement of a feared criminal mastermind raises the stakes and creates a sense of urgency.

            Plot: 9

            The plot of the scene is crucial to the overall story. It reveals important information about the characters' past crimes, introduces the main antagonist, and sets up the central conflict and mission for the group of criminals.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a mysterious and powerful figure like Keyser Soze is not entirely unique, the way it is introduced and the specific details of the characters' criminal activities add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


            Character Development

            Characters: 8

            The characters in the scene are well-developed and their reactions to the revelations and proposal are believable. Keaton's skepticism, Verbal's curiosity, and the others' shock and concern add depth to the scene.

            Character Changes: 7

            While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the revelations and proposal presented to the characters set the stage for potential character development and transformation in the future.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand the situation and make a decision about whether or not to accept Mr. Kobayashi's offer. This reflects their deeper need for survival and their fear of getting involved in a dangerous situation.

            External Goal: 9

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about the job being offered and assess the risks involved. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, such as the potential danger and the opportunity for a large sum of money.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external. The characters are conflicted about whether to trust Kobayashi and take on the dangerous job. The revelation of their past crimes and the involvement of Keyser Soze creates external conflict and raises the stakes.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters are faced with a dangerous offer from a mysterious and powerful figure. The audience is unsure of how the characters will respond and what consequences they may face.

            High Stakes: 10

            The stakes in the scene are extremely high. The characters are indebted to Keyser Soze, a feared criminal mastermind, and are given a dangerous job to repay their debt. Failure to complete the mission could result in severe consequences.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing the main antagonist, setting up the central conflict and mission, and raising the stakes for the characters. It propels the narrative towards the next major plot point.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the character of Mr. Kobayashi, who brings unexpected information and offers a dangerous job. The revelation of Keyser Soze as the employer adds another layer of unpredictability to the scene.

            Philosophical Conflict: 7

            The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle between self-preservation and the potential rewards of taking on a dangerous job. This challenges their beliefs and values, as they must weigh the risks and benefits of getting involved with Keyser Soze.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 8

            The scene elicits strong emotions from the characters and the audience. The shock, fear, and uncertainty experienced by the characters are palpable, creating an emotional connection with the audience.

            Dialogue: 9

            The dialogue in the scene is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. The exchanges between Keaton, Kobayashi, and the other criminals effectively convey tension and conflict.

            Engagement: 9

            This scene is engaging because it introduces a mysterious and dangerous situation, raises questions about the characters' past actions, and presents a high-stakes offer. The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, keeping the audience invested in the characters' interactions.

            Pacing: 9

            The pacing of this scene is effective in building tension and suspense. The dialogue is sharp and moves the scene forward, while the introduction of Mr. Kobayashi and the revelation of Keyser Soze add a sense of urgency and danger.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The use of action lines and descriptions is also clear and concise.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue. The pacing and progression of the scene also contribute to its effectiveness.


            Critique
            • The scene starts abruptly with Keaton standing and the rest of the characters sitting. It would be helpful to provide some context or transition to indicate why Keaton is standing.
            • The dialogue feels a bit expositional and could benefit from more natural and organic conversations between the characters.
            • The reveal of Mr. Kobayashi and his knowledge of the group's criminal activities is a bit too convenient and stretches believability. It would be more effective to build up the tension and suspense leading to this reveal.
            • The reactions of the characters to Mr. Kobayashi's revelations could be more nuanced and varied. It would add depth to their characters and make the scene more engaging.
            • The dialogue between Keaton and Mr. Kobayashi feels a bit repetitive and could be condensed to make it more impactful.
            • The significance of the briefcases and the exchange of files could be emphasized more to create a stronger visual element in the scene.
            • The ending of the scene feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from a stronger closing moment or line of dialogue to leave a lasting impression.
            Suggestions
            • Consider adding a brief setup or transition to explain why Keaton is standing at the beginning of the scene.
            • Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and organic, focusing on character interactions and dynamics.
            • Build up the tension and suspense leading to Mr. Kobayashi's reveal, making it more impactful and believable.
            • Add more varied and nuanced reactions from the characters to Mr. Kobayashi's revelations to deepen their characterization.
            • Condense and streamline the dialogue between Keaton and Mr. Kobayashi to make it more impactful.
            • Emphasize the significance of the briefcases and the exchange of files to create a stronger visual element in the scene.
            • Consider adding a stronger closing moment or line of dialogue to leave a lasting impression at the end of the scene.



            Scene 23 -  The Legend of Keyser Soze
            65 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT 65

            Kujan leans into Verbal's face. He hangs on his every word.
            92.

            VERBAL
            He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say
            his father was German. Nobody believed he
            was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew
            anybody that ever worked directly for
            him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it,
            anybody could have worked for Soze. You
            never knew. That was his power. The
            greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was
            convincing the world he didn't exist. One
            story the guys told me - the story I
            believe - was from his days in Turkey.
            There was a petty gang of Hungarians that
            wanted their own mob. They realized that
            to be in power you didn't need guns or
            money or even numbers. You just needed
            the will to do what the other guy
            wouldn't. After a while they come to
            power, and then they come after Soze He
            was small time then, just running dope,
            they say...

            66 SCENE DELETED 66

            67 INT. SOZE'S HOME - DAY 67

            Three of the Hungarians come bursting into Keyser Soze's
            + home. They grab his five children and round them up in the
            front room. One of the men grabs his wife and back-hands her
            across the face.

            BLUE 06/01/94

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            They come to his home in the afternoon
            looking for his business. They find his
            wife and kids in the house and decide to
            wait for Sate.

            68 INT. SOZE'S HOME - LATER 68

            The front door opens and in walks Keyser Sate. We are never
            allowed to see his face.
            93.
            Sate's wife lies in the corner, beaten and bruised. Her dress
            is tattered to shreds. She cannot look up at her husband.

            The three Hungarians stand to greet him. Two hold guns in
            their hands. The third holds a straight razor. He grabs Soze
            youngest boy and holds the razor to his throat.

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            He comes home to his wife raped and his
            children screaming. The Hungarians knew
            Soze was tough. Not to be trifled with.
            So they let him know they meant business.

            The Hungarian smiles. Soze's wife SCREAMS IN HORROR. The
            Hungarian holds up a BLOOD SOAKED RAZOR. SUDDENLY, he grabs
            another child. A little girl no older than six.

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            They tell Soze they want his territory -
            all his business. Soze looks over the
            faces of his family... Then he showed
            these men of will what will really was.

            SUDDENLY, Soze pulls out a pistol and shoots the two men with
            guns. He turns and aims at the third man holding his child.

            The man threatens to cut the child's throat, slicing just
            enough to draw blood.

            SOZE FIRES.

            The stunned Hungarian watches the child fall from his arms.
            Sate turns the pistol on the next child, then the next and
            the next. He kills his children one by one in front of the
            Hungarian.

            PINK 06/07/94

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            He tells him he would rather' see his
            family dead than live another day after
            this.
            94.

            SOZE walks over to his wife, crying and beaten on the floor
            and holds up her head. She gives him the strangest look. One
            of trust perhaps, saturated with fear and humiliation.

            He puts the gun between her eyes and fires.

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            He lets the last Hungarian go, and he
            goes running. He waits until his wife and
            kids are in the ground and he goes after
            the rest of the mob. He kills their kids,
            he kills their wives, he kills their
            parents and their parents' friends.

            A dark and looming figure of a man walks in front of a wall
            of fire - a black shadow blurred by waves of heat.

            VERBAL (V.O.)
            He burns down the houses they live in and
            the stores they work in, he kills people
            that owe them money. And like that he was
            gone. Underground. No one has ever seen
            him again. He becomes a myth, a spook
            story that criminals tell their kids at
            night. If you rat on your pop, Keyser
            Sate will get you. And nobody really ever
            believes.

            69 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY 69

            KUJAN
            Do you believe in him, Verbal?

            VERBAL
            Keaton always said: "I don't believe in
            God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I
            believe in God, and the only thing that
            scares me is Keyser SOZE.

            70 INT. WORKSHOP 70

            Jack Baer and Rabin listen to Verbal on the speaker with one
            ear.
            95.

            RABIN
            You give this any weight, Agent Baer?

            PINK 06/07/94

            BAER
            I can introduce you to Dan Metzheiser
            from Justice. He has a file on Sate in
            D.C. It's been a hobby of his for a few
            years. A lot of guys equate him to that
            reporter on the Incredible Hulk.

            RABIN
            Had you heard of him before?

            BAER
            On the street? A few times. Outside
            stuff. Somebody was working for a guy who
            was working for a guy who got money
            through Keyser Soze. That kind of shit.
            Could be an old badge. A hex sign to keep
            people from fucking with you back when a
            name meant something.

            RAB IN
            But you're here.

            BAER
            Shit yeah. I got a guy trying to walk out
            of the hospital on d fried drumstick to
            get away from SOZE. I'11 run it up the
            flagpole.
            Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

            Summary Verbal tells the story of Keyser Soze, a notorious criminal who exacts brutal revenge on those who harm his family. Kujan questions Verbal's belief in Soze's existence.
            Strengths
            • Intense and gripping storytelling
            • Strong performances
            • Tension and conflict
            Weaknesses

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 9

              The scene is highly engaging and intense, with a gripping story and strong performances.


              Story Content

              Concept: 8

              The concept of a legendary and feared criminal seeking revenge is intriguing and keeps the audience hooked.

              Plot: 9

              The plot is well-developed and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

              Originality: 8

              This scene has a level of originality in its depiction of the power and fear associated with Keyser Soze. The actions and dialogue of the characters feel authentic and contribute to the authenticity of the scene.


              Character Development

              Characters: 9

              The characters are complex and their motivations drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

              Character Changes: 8

              Verbal's perspective on Keyser Soze and his beliefs are challenged, leading to a shift in his character.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convey the power and fear associated with Keyser Soze. It reflects their deeper need for justice and their fear of the unknown.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince Kujan of the existence and danger of Keyser Soze. It reflects the immediate challenge of convincing someone in a position of authority.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 10

              The conflict between Verbal and Kujan, as well as the brutal actions of Keyser Soze, create a high level of tension and suspense.

              Opposition: 9

              The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces the challenge of convincing Kujan of the existence and danger of Keyser Soze.

              High Stakes: 10

              The stakes are incredibly high, with lives and reputations on the line.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene reveals important information about Keyser Soze and progresses the overall story.

              Unpredictability: 8

              This scene is unpredictable because it reveals unexpected and shocking details about Keyser Soze's past and actions.

              Philosophical Conflict: 9

              The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the belief in the power and existence of Keyser Soze. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, as well as the beliefs of those around them.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 9

              The scene evokes fear, horror, and empathy for the characters involved.

              Dialogue: 8

              The dialogue is sharp and reveals important information about the characters and the story.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it reveals important information about Keyser Soze and builds suspense and tension through the intense dialogue and descriptive narration.

              Pacing: 9

              The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by building suspense and tension through the gradual reveal of information and the use of intense dialogue.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene transitions.

              Structure: 9

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


              Critique
              • The scene starts with Kujan leaning into Verbal's face, which creates a sense of intensity and focus on their conversation.
              • The dialogue between Verbal and Kujan is engaging and reveals important information about Keyser Soze.
              • The visual element of Verbal dropping his cigarette and trembling adds to the tension and foreshadows the significance of Keyser Soze.
              • The scene effectively ends with Verbal's reaction to the mention of Keyser Soze, leaving the audience intrigued and wanting to know more.
              • However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and engage the reader.
              • Additionally, the emotional tone of the scene could be further developed to create a stronger impact on the audience.
              • The conflict between Kujan and Verbal could be heightened by adding more confrontational dialogue or actions.
              • Consider adding more details about the setting to provide a clearer picture for the reader.
              Suggestions
              • Add more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and engage the reader.
              • Develop the emotional tone of the scene to create a stronger impact on the audience.
              • Heighten the conflict between Kujan and Verbal through more confrontational dialogue or actions.
              • Provide more details about the setting to provide a clearer picture for the reader.



              Scene 24 -  Verbal's Defense
              71 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 71

              VERBAL
              I came clean. I told it like it happened
              on the boat. So what if I left out how I
              got there? It's got so many holes in it,
              the D.A. would've told me to blow amnesty
              out my ass. So you got what you wanted
              out of me. Big fucking deal.
              96.

              KUJAN
              And this is why you never told the D.A.

              VERBAL
              You tell me, Agent Kujan. If I told you
              the Loch Ness Monster hired me to hit the
              harbor, what would you say?

              KUJAN
              Turn state's evidence. Take the stand on
              this and we'll hear it out.

              BLUE 06/01/94

              VERBAL
              I've got immunity now. What can you
              possibly offer me?

              KUJAN
              If there is a Keyser Soze he'll be
              looking for you.

              VERBAL
              Where's your head, Agent Kujan? Where do
              you think the pressure's coming from?
              Keyser Soze - or whatever you want to
              call him - knows where I am right now.
              He's got the front burner under' your ass
              to let me go so he can scoop me up ten
              minutes later. Immunity was just to deal
              with you assholes. I got a whole new
              problem when I post bail.

              KUJAN
              So why play into his hands? We can
              protect you.

              VERBAL
              Gee, thanks, Dave. Bang-up job so far.
              Extortion, coercion. You'll pardon me if
              I ask you to kiss my pucker.
              97.
              The same fuckers that rounded us up and
              sank us into this mess are telling me
              They'll bail me out? Fuck you. You think
              you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a
              guy like that comes this close to getting
              fingered and sticks his head out? If he
              comes up for anything, it will be to get
              rid of me.
              (beat)
              After that, my guess is you'll never hear
              from him again.

              72 INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY 72

              Doctor Plumber watches from out in the hall.
              Kovash spits out a constant river of Hungarian while Bodi
              tries to keep up, relaying everything to Tracy Fitzgerald.

              She sketches frantically while Daniel Metzheiser looks on.

              The composite sketch of Keyser SOZE is taking form.

              BLUE 06/01/94

              (<< >> Denotes liners spoken in Hungarian.)

              BODI
              <<What sort of nose did he have?>>

              KOVASH
              <<It was smaller than that. Sharper.>>

              BODI
              (To Tracy)
              The nose is sharper. Smaller too.
              (to Arkosh in Hung.)
              <<And what about the hair? You said
              something earlier about it.>>

              KOVASH
              <<It is longer than that. And not so
              dark. >>
              98.

              BODI
              <<Are you sure?>>

              KOVASH
              <<Don't be stupid.>>

              BODI
              (to Tracy)
              He says the hair is longer and lighter.

              PINK 06/07/94

              73 EXT. BEACH - DAY 73

              Waves pound across a stone jetty. A MAN sits fishing while
              his young son, BRANDO strolls toward the open sea.

              He pokes at rocks and seaweed with a fishing pole. He glances
              down at Something wedged between the rocks beneath his feet.
              He pokes at it. He notes the checkered pattern of the fabric
              entwined with the twisted mess. It is the bloated carcass of
              THE MAN IN THE CHECKERED BATHROBE. BRANDO pokes it's eye with
              the fishing pole. It pops.

              74 SCENE DELETED/DIALOGUE MOVED 74

              PINK 06/07/94

              75 INT RABIN'S OFFICE 75

              VERBAL
              That was how I ended up in a barber shop
              quartet in Skokie, Illinois.

              KUJAN
              This is totally irrelevant.

              VERBAL
              Oh, but it's not. If I hadn't been nailed
              in Illinois for running a three card
              monte in between sets, I never would have
              took off for New York.
              99.
              I never would have met Keaton, see. That
              barber shop quartet was the reason for
              everything.

              KUJAN
              Can we just get back to Kobayashi?

              VERBAL
              The quartet is part of the bit about
              Kobayashi. The quartet was in my file,
              along with every other thing I had done
              since high school, see? Aliases, middle-
              men. They knew me better than I did. They
              knew all of us.

              Kujan looks at his watch.

              KUJAN
              You're stalling, Verbal.

              VERBAL
              Give a guy a break, huh?

              KUJAN
              What happened?

              Verbal slumps a bit. He realizes his stalling tactic has
              failed.

              VERBAL
              We woke up the next morning and Fenster
              was gone. He couldn't handle the idea of
              slumming for SOZE. He left a note wishing
              us good luck and took a chunk of the
              money we'd scraped together.

              SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

              KUJAN
              Then what?
              100.

              VERBAL
              McManus was furious. He was talking about
              tracking him down and ripping his heart
              out and all sorts of shit. That night we
              got the call.

              KUJAN
              What call?

              VERBAL
              Kobayashi told us where we could find
              Fenster.
              Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

              Summary Verbal is interrogated by Kujan about Dean Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and alleged death, challenging Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence. Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.
              Strengths
              • Intense dialogue
              • Tension-filled conflict
              • Revelation of Keaton's past
              Weaknesses

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence. The dialogue is intense and keeps the audience engaged.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of Verbal defending Keaton against Kujan's accusations adds depth to the story and raises questions about Keaton's true nature.

                Plot: 9

                The plot progresses as Kujan reveals Keaton's dark past and challenges Verbal's claims of Keaton's innocence.

                Originality: 5

                The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and dialogue are not particularly unique or fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable, but not groundbreaking.


                Character Development

                Characters: 8

                Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and beliefs.

                Character Changes: 7

                Verbal's beliefs and loyalty are tested as Kujan presents evidence against Keaton.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect himself and avoid getting caught by the authorities. This reflects his deeper need for self-preservation and his fear of being captured.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to negotiate a deal with Agent Kujan to ensure his safety and freedom. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing, which include being pursued by Keyser Soze.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 10

                The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Verbal tries to defend Keaton while Kujan presents damning evidence.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist and Agent Kujan have conflicting goals and engage in a confrontational conversation. The audience is unsure of how the negotiation will go and whether the protagonist will be able to protect himself.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes are high as Verbal tries to defend Keaton against damning evidence that could incriminate him.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene reveals Keaton's dark past and challenges Verbal's claims, moving the story forward.

                Unpredictability: 6

                This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how the negotiation between the protagonist and Agent Kujan will unfold. However, the overall outcome is somewhat expected.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 8

                The scene evokes emotions of tension and uncertainty as Verbal's defense is challenged.

                Dialogue: 10

                The dialogue is intense, well-written, and drives the conflict between Verbal and Kujan.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because of the intense and confrontational dialogue between the characters. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the scene.

                Pacing: 7

                The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The back-and-forth dialogue keeps the scene moving at a steady pace.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and action lines.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue.


                Critique
                • The dialogue in this scene is strong and effectively conveys the tension between Kujan and Verbal. However, there are a few areas where the dialogue could be tightened up to make it more impactful.
                • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the tension and create a more dynamic visual experience for the audience.
                • The resolution of the conflict feels a bit abrupt and could be developed further to create a stronger emotional impact.
                • The scene could benefit from more character development and exploration of the relationships between Kujan and Verbal.
                Suggestions
                • Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the tension in the scene. For example, you could describe Verbal's physical reactions in more detail to show his fear of Keyser Soze.
                • Explore the conflict between Kujan and Verbal in more depth to create a stronger emotional impact. You could add more dialogue or actions that highlight their opposing viewpoints.
                • Develop the resolution of the conflict further to create a more satisfying conclusion. You could have Verbal confront his fear of Keyser Soze and make a decision about whether or not to take the stand.
                • Take the opportunity to further develop the characters of Kujan and Verbal and explore their relationship. This could add depth and complexity to the scene.



                Scene 25 -  Burial of Fenster
                76 EXT. BEACH - NIGHT - TWO WEEKS PRIOR 76

                Keaton looks out over the ocean and smokes a cigarette.

                KEATON
                What do you want to do with him?

                McManus kneels in the sand. Hockney and Verbal stand behind
                him, staring at something in front of them.

                It is the body of Fred Fenster, literally peppered with
                bullet holes. McManus stares at him, fighting any flicker of
                emotion.

                MCMAMJS
                I worked five years with Fenster. More
                jobs, more money than I can count.

                KEATON
                I'm sorry, McManus.

                MCMANUS
                I want to bury him.

                KEATON
                No time.

                McManus springs to his feet and points a pistol at Keaton.
                Keaton turns to face him and raises his head. McManus might
                as well be pointing a feather-duster.
                101.

                MCMANUS
                YOU WILL FIND TIME. You're not the only
                one with debts, man.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                KEATON
                No shovel.

                MCMANUS
                WITH OUR HANDS.

                77 MT. BEACH 77

                Everyone digs in the sand on the deserted beach with their
                hands. They are up to their waists in the hole they have
                scooped out. Fenster's body is a few feet away.

                HOCKNEY
                This is nuts.

                MCMANUS
                Dig.

                HOCKNEY
                This is fucking dry sand, man. When he
                rots, the surfers'll smell him from a
                hundred yards out.

                MCMANUS
                DIG, YOU FUCKER.

                Hockney can see that McManus has truly gone over the edge for
                now. Keaton gives him a look that says don't argue.

                HOCKNEY
                Keaton, we gotta go. They're gonna find
                him.

                KEATON
                Dig.

                VERBAL
                What are we gonna do?
                102.

                HOCKNEY
                I can run. I got no problem with that.

                KEATON
                They don't seem to have a problem with it
                either.

                MCMANUS
                Nobody runs.

                HOCKNEY
                This ain't my boy we're burying. I don't
                owe anybody.

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                MCMANUS
                We got a deal here.

                HOCKNEY
                Since when?

                MCMANUS
                Since tonight.

                HOCKNEY
                Fuck that.

                MCMANIJS
                It's payback.

                KEATON
                IT'S NOT PAYBACK. I don't answer to you.
                It's precaution. You want payback? You
                want to run? I don't care. I'm going to
                finish this thing. Not for Fenster, not
                for anybody else, but for me. This
                Kobayashi cocksucker isn't going to stand
                over me.
                (beat)
                All of you can go to hell.
                103.

                Keaton turns and digs furiously with both hands. Hockney
                takes a moment and slowly starts to do the same.

                The four men dig for Fenster. The first to find some rest.

                78 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT 78

                Verbal smokes with his good hand shaking badly.

                KUJAN
                And after they killed Fenster nobody
                would run?

                VERBAL
                I wanted to. I thought we could make it.

                KUJAN
                Why didn't you say anything?

                VERBAL
                I tried, believe me, but Keaton wouldn't
                have it. It was too far-fetched for him.
                Keaton was a grounded guy. An ex-cop. To
                a cop, the explanation is never that
                complicated. It's always simple. There's

                PINK 06/07/94

                VERBAL
                no mystery on the street, no arch-
                criminal behind it all. If you got a dead
                guy and you think his brother did it,
                you're going to find out you're right.
                Nobody argued with Keaton. They just set
                their minds on whacking Kobayashi.

                79 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT - TWO WEEKS PRIOR 79

                Redfoot's Harley rests on the roof of the Caddy in a mangled
                heap. The body of the Caddy is riddled with bullet holes.
                104.

                Redfoot's dead body has been shoved head-first through a hole
                in the windshield up to his waist, recognizable only by the
                trademark red boot.

                80 INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY 80

                Kobayashi walks through the front door of a plush office
                tower followed by two bodyguards. He heads toward the
                elevator, failing to notice Hockney a few feet away, reading
                a newspaper.

                We see a wire running from Hockney's ear to his collar.

                HOCKNEY
                He's coming up.

                81 INT. HALLWAY - FORTIETH FLOOR 81

                Keaton, McManus and Verbal stand by the six elevators on the
                fortieth floor. They are all wearing khaki overalls and tool
                belts with walkie-talkies. They look like servicemen.

                All of the elevators have been propped open and stranded.

                McManus moves into one of the elevators. As the doors close
                i behind him, he scrambles for the ceiling hatch.

                82 SCENE DELETED 82

                PINK 06/07/94

                83 SCENE DELETED 83

                84 SCENE DELETED 84

                85 SCENE DELETED 85
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary In this scene, Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. The tension rises as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "The strengths of this scene include the intense conflict between the characters, the sharp and impactful dialogue, and the high stakes that keep the audience engaged."
                Weaknesses "One potential weakness of this scene is that it may be too intense or violent for some viewers. Additionally, the scene may require prior knowledge of the story to fully understand the significance of the events."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and filled with tension, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. The conflict between the characters is well-developed and drives the plot forward. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the personalities and motivations of the characters. Overall, it is a standout scene in terms of its execution and impact.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of burying Fenster's body adds a layer of suspense and moral dilemma to the story. It highlights the loyalty and bond between the criminals, as well as their willingness to take risks for each other. The concept also introduces the theme of consequences and the characters' struggle with their criminal past.

                Plot: 9

                The plot of the scene revolves around the burial of Fenster's body and the conflict it creates within the group. It effectively raises the stakes and deepens the tension in the story. The scene also provides important backstory and foreshadows the involvement of Keyser Soze.

                Originality: 6

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of burying a body and the conflicts among the characters are familiar tropes in crime dramas, the specific dynamics and dialogue in this scene feel authentic and fresh.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters in this scene are well-developed and their conflicting personalities and motivations drive the conflict. Keaton is portrayed as a strong and determined leader, while McManus is shown as impulsive and hot-headed. Verbal serves as the narrator and provides insight into the group dynamics. Hockney adds a touch of skepticism and rebellion. Overall, the characters are compelling and add depth to the scene.

                Character Changes: 7

                While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it does reveal the characters' loyalty and determination. Keaton's determination to finish the job and not let Kobayashi control him showcases his strong-willed nature.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fred Fenster. This reflects their deeper need for closure and their fear of being caught by the authorities.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to finish their criminal activities and not let anyone stand over them. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, such as the threat of being caught by Kobayashi.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict in this scene is intense and drives the plot forward. The arguments and confrontations between the characters create a high level of tension. The conflict also reveals the characters' motivations and adds depth to their relationships.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong as McManus confronts Keaton and points a gun at him. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved and what consequences it will have.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes are high in this scene as the characters are forced to bury Fenster's body and face the consequences of their criminal activities. The presence of Keyser Soze adds an element of danger and uncertainty.

                Story Forward: 8

                The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict and raising the stakes. It also provides important backstory and foreshadows the involvement of Keyser Soze. The burial of Fenster's body adds a layer of suspense and moral dilemma to the story.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because it features unexpected actions and conflicts among the characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and what choices the characters will make.

                Philosophical Conflict: 7

                There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between McManus and Keaton. McManus believes in seeking revenge and burying their friend, while Keaton prioritizes finishing their criminal activities and not letting anyone stand over him. This conflict challenges McManus' beliefs and values.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 8

                The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly through the characters' intense reactions and the moral dilemma they face. The audience is likely to feel a sense of tension, loyalty, and empathy towards the characters.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue in this scene is sharp, intense, and reveals the characters' emotions and motivations. The arguments and confrontations between the characters are well-written and add to the tension. The dialogue also provides important exposition and foreshadowing.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation and creates tension through the characters' conflicts and actions. The dialogue and descriptive narrative keep the audience invested in the outcome.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The quick dialogue exchanges and the characters' actions keep the scene moving at a brisk pace.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and presents their goals and conflicts in a clear and coherent manner.


                Critique
                • The emotional tone of the scene could be further developed to enhance the tension. Consider adding more dialogue or actions that reflect the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation.
                • The conflict between McManus and Keaton could be heightened by adding more intensity to their confrontation. Explore ways to increase the stakes and make their disagreement more impactful.
                • The resolution of the conflict feels somewhat abrupt. Consider adding a moment of compromise or negotiation between McManus and Keaton to make the resolution more satisfying.
                • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting. Consider adding details about the beach, the sound of the waves, or the appearance of the characters.
                • The dialogue could be further developed to reveal more about the characters' motivations and relationships. Explore opportunities to deepen the dialogue and add subtext.
                • Consider adding more character interactions and dynamics to make the scene more engaging. Explore ways to show the relationships and tensions between the characters through their actions and dialogue.
                Suggestions
                • To enhance the emotional tone, consider adding internal thoughts or reflections from the characters to give insight into their feelings and motivations.
                • To heighten the conflict, consider adding more obstacles or complications that prevent McManus from burying Fenster and increase the tension between him and Keaton.
                • To improve the resolution, consider adding a moment of compromise or negotiation between McManus and Keaton, where they find a middle ground that satisfies both of their desires.
                • To create a more immersive setting, consider adding sensory details such as the smell of the ocean, the feel of the sand, or the sound of seagulls to bring the beach to life.
                • To deepen the dialogue, consider adding subtext and hidden agendas to the characters' words. Explore ways to reveal their true intentions through their dialogue.
                • To make the scene more engaging, consider adding moments of conflict or tension between the characters. Show their relationships and dynamics through their actions and interactions.



                Scene 26 -  The Burial
                86 INT. HALLWAY 86

                Keaton and Verbal listen for anything on the radio.

                87 SCENE DELETED 87

                88 SCENE DELETED 88
                105.

                PINK 06/07/94

                89 INT. LOBBY 89

                The elevator opens. Kobayashi and his bodyguards get on the
                elevator.

                90 INT. ELEVATOR 90

                The elevator is empty except for the three men. McManus has
                vanished. Kobayashi presses a button and they are on the way.

                SUDDENLY, the ceiling hatch opens and McManus' arm comes out.

                POP - POP. Two shots from a suppressed pistol and the guards
                drop to the floor, DEAD.

                Kobayashi looks up with surprising calm into McManus' barrel.

                MCMANUS
                Press forty.

                91 INT. HALLWAY - FORTIETH FLOOR 91

                The elevator opens and Kobayashi is greeted by Keaton and
                Verbal. McManus drops from the ceiling hatch and pushes him
                out.

                BLUE 06/01/94

                Verbal and McManus grab the dead bodies and drag them out of
                the elevator. They drag them to the next elevator which has
                been forced open, revealing an empty shaft.

                KEATON
                The answer is no.

                KOBAYASHI
                Mr. Soze will be most -

                KEATON
                Listen to me, cocksucker. There is no
                Keyser Sate. If you say his name again,
                I'11 kill you right here.
                106.

                KOBAYASHI
                A strange threat. I can only assume
                you're here to kill me anyway. Pity about
                Mr. Redfoot.

                MCMANUS
                Fair trade for Fenster.

                The elevator opens and Hockney steps out.

                KOBAYASHI
                Ahh, Mr. Hockney. Do join us.

                KEATON
                We know you can get to us, and now you
                know we can get to you. I'm offering you
                the chance to call this off.

                KOBAYASHI
                Mr. So- My employer has made up his mind.
                He does not change it.

                KEATON
                Neither do we.

                MCMANUS
                You got Fenster, you may get more, but
                you won't get us all. Not before one of
                us gets to you.

                KOBAYASHI
                I believe you, Mr. McManus. I quite
                sincerely do. You would not have been
                chosen if you were not so capable, but I
                cannot make this decision. Whatever you
                can threaten me with is... ludicrous in
                comparison to what will be done to me if

                BLUE 06/01/94

                MCMANUS
                Just so you know. I'm the guy. I'm the
                one that's gonna get through to you.
                107.

                KOBAYASHI
                I am sorry, Mr. McManus.
                (to Keaton)
                I implore you to believe me, Mr. Keaton.
                Mr. Soze is very real and very
                determined.

                KEATON
                We'll see.

                McManus holds a pistol to Kobayashi's chin. The lawyer's cool
                eyes never falter'.

                KOBAYASHI
                Before you do me in, you will let me
                finish my business with Ms. Finneran
                first, won't you?

                SUDDENLY, Keaton grabs McManus' hand and pulls the gun away
                before he can shoot.

                KEATON
                What did you say?

                KOBAYASHI
                Edie Finneran. She is upstairs in my
                office for an extradition deposition. I
                requested she be put on the case
                personally. She flew out yesterday.

                Everyone looks at Keaton.

                KOBAYASHI
                No matter. Kill away, Mr. McManus.

                KEATON
                You're lying.

                KOBAYASHI
                Am I?
                108.

                92 INT. HALLWAY - FIFTIETH FLOOR 92

                Everyone follows Kobayashi quietly down a dimly lit, oak-
                lined hallway. Verbal holds a small pistol discreetly in the
                small of Kobayashi's back.

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                They come to a glass office foyer. Kobayashi gestures and
                everyone looks through the glass into the lobby beyond.

                EDIE FINNERAN is talking casually with the receptionist.
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary In this scene, Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "Strong dialogue, intense conflict, and suspenseful atmosphere."
                Weaknesses "None identified."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong dialogue and tension between the characters.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of burying Fenster's body adds to the tension and showcases the loyalty and conflict within the group of criminals.

                Plot: 9

                The plot progresses as the characters are faced with the dangerous job offered by Kobayashi and the revelation of Keaton's dark past.

                Originality: 6

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar in the crime genre, the specific dialogue and character interactions bring a fresh and intense approach to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters are well-developed and their conflicts and motivations drive the scene.

                Character Changes: 7

                While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the conflicts and tensions contribute to the development of the characters' arcs.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert their power and challenge Kobayashi's authority. This reflects their need for control and their desire to protect themselves and their allies.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about Edie Finneran's whereabouts. This reflects the immediate challenge of locating a potential target or ally.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between the characters is high, both in terms of their personal disagreements and the external threat from Kobayashi.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist and Kobayashi engage in a power struggle and challenge each other's beliefs. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold, adding to the tension.

                High Stakes: 10

                The stakes are high as the characters are faced with the threat of Keyser Soze and the dangerous job they must complete to repay their debt.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about Keaton's past and the dangerous job they are forced to undertake.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and twists, such as McManus' arm coming out of the ceiling hatch and Keaton grabbing McManus' hand to prevent him from shooting. These moments keep the audience guessing and add to the tension.

                Philosophical Conflict: 7

                There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in their own power and Kobayashi's insistence on the existence and influence of Mr. Soze. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and forces them to question their own understanding of the situation.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 8

                The scene evokes strong emotions through the intense arguments and the characters' loyalty to their deceased friend.

                Dialogue: 10

                The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals the dynamics between the characters.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes confrontation between the characters, the sharp and confrontational dialogue, and the suspenseful atmosphere. The reader is drawn into the scene and invested in the outcome.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the reader's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and the progression of the action contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, capitalization, and punctuation. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The progression of the scene builds tension and suspense effectively.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear and concise action. It is difficult to follow what is happening and why. The dialogue is also somewhat confusing and could benefit from clearer exposition.
                • The emotional tone of the scene is tense, but it could be heightened with more attention to detail in the action and dialogue.
                • The conflict between McManus and Mr. Kobayashi is not fully developed and resolved too quickly. It would benefit from more buildup and tension.
                • The visual elements of the scene are not fully utilized. More attention could be paid to the setting and the characters' movements to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
                Suggestions
                • Consider adding more action and exposition to clarify the scene's events and motivations.
                • Pay closer attention to the emotional tone of the scene and use action and dialogue to heighten it.
                • Develop the conflict between McManus and Mr. Kobayashi more fully to create more tension and suspense.
                • Utilize the visual elements of the scene more fully to create a more immersive experience for the audience.



                Scene 27 -  Burial and Betrayal
                93 INT. LOBBY 93

                Edie glances toward the men in the hall. Keaton turns quickly
                on his heels, facing the others. From where Edie stands, it
                looks as though Kobayashi is talking to a group of harmless
                maintenance men.

                They see A LARGE MAN dressed very much like the two dead
                bodies left in the hall downstairs. The man notices Kobayashi
                and the others. He stands and stares menacingly.

                KOBAYASHI
                Ms. Finneran's escort in Los Angeles.
                Never leaves her for a moment. I thought
                you'd like to know she was in good hands.

                Keaton's mind races for an alternative. He can find none.
                Verbal lowers his gun without being told.

                KOBAYASHI
                Get your rest, Gentlemen. The boat will
                be ready for you on Friday. If I see you
                or your friends before then, or fail to
                check in every half hour with that
                unpleasant looking man in there, Ms.
                Finneran will find herself the victim of
                a gruesome violation before she dies. As
                will your father, Mr. Hockney. and your
                Uncle Randall in Arizona, Mr. Kint.
                109.
                I might only castrate Mr. McManus'
                nephew, David. Do I make myself clear?

                All of the men surround Kobayashi, aching to kill him.

                KOBAYASHI
                I'11 take care of the dead men
                downstairs. We'll add them to the cost of
                Mr. Fenster. Now if you'll excuse me.

                Kobayashi walks into the office. Edie turns to greet him.
                Keaton slowly turns and watches as they shake hands and talk.
                Kobayashi says something they cannot hear and Edie laughs,
                her back to the window.

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                Kobayashi smiles over her shoulder at Keaton. All the while,
                the bodyguard watches Keaton. He nods politely before Keaton
                and the others leave. Verbal watches for a moment more and
                follows.

                94 EXT. HILLSIDE ROAD - DAY 94

                Keaton, Verbal, Hockney and McManus sit in a rented sedan
                overlooking San Pedro harbor.

                Another file from Kobayashi's briefcase is laid out on the
                dashboard. This has a map and a good fifty pages of
                information in it.

                KEATON
                It's a logistical nightmare. Close
                quarters, no advance layout, ten men,
                maybe twenty.

                HOCKNEY
                Can we stealth these guys?

                KEATON
                Doubtful. With all that coke, they'll be
                ready - which brings me to sunny spot
                number two.
                110.
                Even if one of us gets through and jacks
                the boat, we get nothing.

                MCMANUS
                And if we wait for the money?

                KEATON
                Ten more men at least. In my opinion, it
                can't be done. Anyone who walks into this
                won't come out alive.

                MCMANUS
                I'm for waiting for the money.

                HOCKNEY
                Me too.

                VERBAL
                Did you hear what he just said?

                HOCKNEY
                If I'm going in, I want a stake.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                MCMANUS
                So do I.

                Verbal is shocked by what he is hearing. He looks at Keaton
                as if to ask him for his decision.

                Keaton's cold stare is all the answer Verbal needs. He slumps
                in his seat, resigned to the others.

                VERBAL
                I just can't believe we're just gonna
                walk into certain death.

                PAUSE

                They all suddenly realize the weight of their situation.

                FINALLY:
                111.

                MCMANUS
                News said it's raining in New York.

                No one knows quite how to respond.

                95 EXT, PIER - SAN PEDRO - NIGHT 95

                A large boat, sleek and yacht-like, but without finesse. This
                is a boat for business - heavy and fast. It is moored to the
                pier.

                A large crane hoists a pallet of fuel drums from the dock. It
                swings slowly over the boat. A man on the dock yells in
                Spanish to the crane operator.

                96 EXT. BOATHOUSE 96

                Behind an old and weathered boat in dry-dock, Keaton and
                Verbal watch the boat from the shadows.

                VERBAL
                What-are they speaking?

                KEATON
                Russian, I think. I don't know.

                VERBAL
                Hungarian?

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                KEATON
                Knock it off.

                DOLLY OVER TO REVEAL:

                McManus climbing up the side of the boathouse.

                CONTINUE PAST HIM TO REVEAL:

                A large boat. A very large boat.
                112.

                97 EXT. BARGE 97

                Hockney maneuvers through a mesh of twisted steel, arriving
                at a vantage point near the stern of the large boat.

                HOCKNEY'S P.O.V.

                A black van pulls up and parks near the crane. Four men in
                suits get out. One remains with the van and the other three
                walk toward the boat.

                On the boat, five men come up from below deck. They are tense
                and cautious around the men in suits. Someone speaks in
                Spanish and someone else in Russian. It takes a moment before
                anyone speaks the same tongue. They settle on French for both
                negotiators.

                Hockney sits in the van. He handles a large shoulder bag
                stuffed with plastique. He tests a timer on top. He picks up
                a walkie-talkie.

                HOCKNEY
                Are we ready, kids?

                98 SCENE DELETED 98

                99 SCENE DELETED/MOVED TO BOTTOM SCENE 97 99
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary In this scene, Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "Intense dialogue, well-developed characters, high stakes, and effective tension-building."
                Weaknesses "Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or clich\u00e9."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 8

                The scene effectively builds tension and highlights the internal conflicts within the group of criminals. The dialogue is intense and reveals the high stakes involved.


                Story Content

                Concept: 7

                The concept of burying a body and the subsequent interrogation adds suspense and raises questions about the characters' motivations and loyalties.

                Plot: 8

                The plot progresses as the characters are forced to confront the consequences of their criminal activities and make difficult decisions.

                Originality: 6

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While there are no unique situations or fresh approaches, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the overall authenticity of the scene.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters are well-developed and their conflicting motivations and loyalties create tension and drive the scene.

                Character Changes: 7

                The characters' loyalties and motivations are tested, leading to some changes in their attitudes and actions.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a way to protect Ms. Finneran and his friends from harm.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to come up with a plan to successfully complete a mission involving a boat.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between the characters is high, with tensions rising and a heated argument taking place.

                Opposition: 9

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters are faced with a dangerous situation and must come up with a plan to overcome it.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes are high as the characters are forced to bury a body and face the potential consequences of their criminal activities.

                Story Forward: 8

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing the consequences of the characters' actions and setting up the interrogation in the present timeline.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because the characters are faced with unexpected challenges and obstacles.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 8

                The scene evokes strong emotions, such as tension, anger, and resignation, from the characters and the audience.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue is intense and reveals the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts. It effectively drives the scene forward.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it builds tension and suspense through the characters' actions and dialogue.

                Pacing: 8

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation and formatting of dialogue.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear and concise dialogue that drives the plot forward. The dialogue between the characters is vague and does not provide enough information for the audience to fully understand the situation.
                • The emotional tone of the scene could be heightened by adding more tension and suspense. The characters should show more fear and urgency in their actions and dialogue.
                • The conflict in the scene is resolved too easily and quickly. The group's decision to not kill Kobayashi feels forced and lacks a strong motivation.
                • The visual elements in the scene could be enhanced to create a more visually engaging and memorable moment. Consider adding unique camera angles or visual effects to capture the intensity of the situation.
                • The scene lacks a clear and satisfying ending. It feels abrupt and leaves the audience wanting more resolution or closure.
                Suggestions
                • Revise the dialogue to provide more clarity and depth to the characters' motivations and intentions.
                • Add more suspenseful and intense moments to heighten the emotional tone of the scene.
                • Develop a stronger and more compelling conflict that drives the plot forward and creates tension among the characters.
                • Explore creative visual techniques to enhance the visual impact of the scene and make it more memorable.
                • Reconsider the ending of the scene to provide a more satisfying resolution or closure for the audience.



                Scene 28 -  The Burial
                100 EXT. BOATHOUSE.-- ROOF 100

                McManus is positioning himself on the roof of the boathouse.
                He stops and grabs his radio.

                MCMANUS
                If I didn't have to stop and answer you,
                I would be.

                YELLOW 06/11/94
                113.

                101 MT. BOATHOUSE 101

                KEATON
                (into radio)
                Everyone shut up. I'm ready. McManus, you
                better be set up in ten seconds.

                MCMANUS
                (on radio)
                I'm there.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                KEATON
                (to Verbal)
                I want you to stay here. Understand?

                VERBAL +
                But I'm supposed to -

                KEATON
                If we don't make it out, I want you to
                take the money and go.

                VERBAL
                (confused)
                Keaton, I can't just -

                KEATON
                I want you to find Edie. Both of you find
                some place safe. Tell her what happened -
                Everything. She knows people. She'll know
                what to do. If we can't get Kobayashi my
                way, she'll get him her way.

                VERBAL
                What if I --

                KEATON
                Just do what I tell you.

                Keaton turns and takes a few steps. He stops and looks back,
                his face marked with guilt and agony.
                114.

                KEATON
                Tell her I... Tell her I tried.

                Keaton leaves before Verbal can respond. He walks down a ramp
                toward the boat.

                He is no more than a few yards out of the shadows before the
                first man sees him.

                102 EXT. DOCK 102

                One of the men in suits starts to yell to the others. Men
                pull out guns and try to look as cool as they can.

                Keaton walks right into the face of all of these men,
                undaunted. His hands are in his pockets.

                Above him, in the darkness, McManus pokes his head out and

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                spies Keaton. He pulls his head back and sticks out the
                barrel of the rifle.

                Keaton comes to a stop about twenty feet from fifteen men all
                together.

                103 EXT. BOATHOUSE - ROOF 103

                McMANUS'S P.O.V.

                McManus stares through the scope of his rifle at the scene.
                The cross-hairs breeze past Keaton and find a target. A man
                in a suit.

                MCMANUS
                Pow.

                He moves to another and then another, picking up speed and
                mock-shooting the men. He is steady and quick. It is clear he
                could take all fifteen in a few seconds.
                115.

                MCMANUS
                Pow-pow-pow-pow-pow-pow . Oswald was a
                fag.

                104 EXT. DOCK 104

                The men shout questions at Keaton in a number of languages.

                105 EXT. BARGE 105

                HOCKNEY'S P.O.V.

                A few men standing on the dock near the stern of the large
                boat, move towards the commotion.

                Hockney bails out and runs quickly and quietly through the
                shadows, bringing the bomb with him.

                106 EXT. BOATHOUSE 106

                Verbal remains in the darkness, looking frightened.

                107 INT. BOATHOUSE - ROOF 107

                McManus still wanders with his scope.

                MCMANUS
                Old McDonald had a farm, ee-aye, ee-aye,
                oh. And on this farm he shot some guys.
                Ba-da-bip, ba-da-bing, bang-boom.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                108 EXT. DOCK 108

                Finally two men walk right towards Keaton. The rest train
                guns on him. They reach for his arms, pointing their guns
                right at him.

                At the far end of the dock, Hockney throws his bomb onto the
                stern of the large boat.

                IT EXPLODES
                116.

                The men surrounding Keaton, are distracted. Keaton pulls a
                pistol out of each pocket and shoots the two men closest to
                him.

                109 EXT. BOATHOUSE - ROOF 109

                MCMANUS
                ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

                He fires as fast as he can.

                110 EXT. PIER 110

                The men from the boat and the men in suits try to peg Keaton,
                but McManus' sniping has them running.

                111 INT. CRANE 111

                The crane operator opens the door to bails out, leaving the
                crane in motion.

                112 EXT. BOATHOUSE - ROOF 112

                McManus runs across the roof of the boathouse and jumps down
                to the pier. He arrives at a thick mooring cable and climbs
                across to the boat.

                MEANWHILE ON THE DOCK:

                Keaton climbs up onto a small lifeboat hanging from the side
                of the larger boat. From this he climbs aboard the large
                boat.

                YELLOW 06/11/94
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary In this scene, Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "The scene's strengths lie in its intense conflict, emotional performances, and high stakes. The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations."
                Weaknesses "One potential weakness of the scene is that the motivations and backgrounds of the characters are not fully explored, which may make it harder for the audience to fully connect with them."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong emotional performances and a sense of urgency. The tension between the characters and the high stakes involved make it a compelling and memorable scene.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of criminals being forced to bury a body while being pursued adds a layer of suspense and raises the stakes for the characters. It creates a sense of moral dilemma and tests their loyalty and trust.

                Plot: 9

                The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' struggle to bury Fenster's body and escape from their pursuers. The heated argument and eventual cooperation highlight the conflicts and dynamics within the group.

                Originality: 5

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While there are no unique situations or fresh approaches to familiar ones, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a sense of realism and believability.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters' emotions and motivations are well-developed and drive the tension in the scene. Keaton's guilt and agony, McManus' confrontational nature, and Verbal's confusion add depth to the scene.

                Character Changes: 8

                Keaton's decision to sacrifice himself for Verbal and Edie shows a significant change in his character. He goes from being a hardened criminal to someone willing to protect his friends.

                Internal Goal: 7

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to follow Keaton's instructions and stay behind while the others carry out the mission. This reflects Verbal's desire to be part of the action and contribute to the success of the mission, but also his fear and confusion about what might happen if they don't make it out.

                External Goal: 9

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to stay safe and survive the mission. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing, as they are about to engage in a dangerous confrontation with armed men.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered. There is conflict within the group as they argue about burying Fenster, and external conflict with the men pursuing them.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the armed men pose a significant threat to the protagonist and their mission. The audience doesn't know how the confrontation will unfold, adding to the tension.

                High Stakes: 10

                The stakes are extremely high in this scene. The characters' lives are in danger, and their actions have consequences for their own survival and the safety of Verbal and Edie.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing Keaton's plan to protect Verbal and Edie and setting up the confrontation with the men pursuing them. It adds tension and raises the stakes for the characters.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how Keaton and the others will overcome the opposition and escape. The unexpected explosion adds to the unpredictability.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience. The guilt, agony, and fear experienced by the characters create a powerful emotional impact.

                Dialogue: 8

                The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and conflicts. The heated argument between McManus and Keaton showcases their differing perspectives and adds to the tension.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it is filled with tension, action, and suspense. The dialogue and actions of the characters keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with quick dialogue exchanges and rapid action. This contributes to its effectiveness by keeping the audience engaged and maintaining a sense of urgency.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of capitalization, punctuation, and spacing.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear and concise descriptions of the characters' movements and actions. It would be helpful to provide more specific details to enhance the visual experience for the reader and potential audience.
                • The dialogue could be more impactful and reveal more about the characters' motivations and emotions. Consider adding subtext and depth to the conversations to make them more engaging.
                • The emotional tone of the scene could be further developed to create a stronger sense of tension and urgency. Explore ways to heighten the stakes and increase the suspense.
                • The resolution of the conflict feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more satisfying conclusion. Consider adding a moment of triumph or a twist to surprise the audience.
                • The scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the reader in the environment. Descriptions of sounds, smells, and textures can enhance the overall experience.
                • The pacing of the scene could be improved by varying the sentence lengths and using shorter, punchier sentences during moments of action and tension.
                • Consider adding more character development and depth to Verbal's role in the scene. Explore his reactions and emotions to make him a more compelling and relatable character.
                Suggestions
                • Provide clearer and more vivid descriptions of the characters' movements and actions.
                • Revise the dialogue to add subtext and depth, revealing more about the characters' motivations and emotions.
                • Enhance the emotional tone of the scene by increasing the stakes and suspense.
                • Develop a more satisfying resolution to the conflict, adding a moment of triumph or a surprising twist.
                • Include sensory details to immerse the reader in the environment.
                • Vary the sentence lengths and use shorter, punchier sentences during moments of action and tension.
                • Add more character development and depth to Verbal's role in the scene.



                Scene 29 -  Burial and Revelation
                113 EXT. DOCK 113

                Hockney is firing in all directions. SUDDENLY, he realizes no
                one is left on the dock.

                PAUSE
                117.

                FINALLY, he turns and runs back for the van parked on the
                pier above. He finds a ramp leading from the dock to the
                pier.

                At the van, he finds the one man who has stayed behind to
                protect it.

                The man hears Hockney coming and raises his gun. Hockney runs
                straight at him, screaming frantically.

                HOCKNEY
                (in Spanish)
                <<DON'T SHOOT, DON'T SHOOT. LET'S GET THE
                FUCK OUT OF HERE. EVERYONE IS DEAD.>>

                BOOM

                He shoots the man point blank in the face and runs over his
                body as it falls.

                He gets to the back door of the van and yanks it open.

                The inside is stacked with large wooden crates.

                114 INT. VAN 114

                Hockney, suddenly oblivious to the sound of gunfire, opens
                one of the crates and looks inside.

                IT IS FILLED WITH MONEY. Cash and negotiable bonds of all
                kinds. He smiles.

                BOOM

                BLOOD sprays all over the money. Hockney looks at it,
                puzzled.

                Hockney raises a blood-soaked hand from his belly. He turns
                and stares in horror.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                BOOM - Another shot takes off the top of his head.
                118.

                115 EXT. PIER 115

                McManus runs like a wild man across the deck, heading for the
                hatch.

                He shoots in all directions as though he has eyes in the back
                of his head. He sees Keaton climbing onto the deck of the
                boat.

                YELLOW 06/11/34

                116 EXT. WAREHOUSE 116

                Verbal is wrestling with what to do. He finally makes a break
                for the other side of the boathouse.

                117 EXT. BOAT DECK 117

                The crane continues to swing. A single bullet hits one of the
                barrels on the suspended pellet. Gasoline pours out through
                the bullet-hole.

                118 SCENE DELETED 118

                119 EXT. BOAT 119

                Keaton finds the hatch and goes below, shooting a man on his
                way up the stairs. McManus jumps on board and runs down
                behind him.

                120 EXT'. PIER 120

                Verbal arrives at the top of the ramp leading from the dock
                to the pier.

                He ducks down behind a guardrail beside the ramp. He turns
                and sees Hockney's dead body next to the van. He looks around
                frantically, frozen in terror. It is quiet, except for the
                sounds of screaming, far off in the bowels of the boat and
                the hum of the crane.
                119.

                121 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT 121

                KUJAN
                Why didn't you run?

                PINK 06/07/94

                VERBAL
                I froze up. I thought about Fenster and
                how he looked when we buried him, then I
                thought about Keaton. It looked like he
                might pull it off.

                A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

                Rabin steps in and motions for Kujan to come outside.

                122 INT.HALLWAY 122

                Rabin and Jack Baer are in the hall. Rabin hands Kujan a
                thick manila folder. Kujan thumbs through it.

                BAER
                A boy came across a body on the beach
                this morning. Thrown clear when the boat
                burned. Shot once in the head. Two guys
                from the F.B.I. just identified him.

                KUJAN
                And?

                RABIN
                His name was Arturo Marquez. A petty
                smuggler out of Argentina. He was
                arrested in New York last year for
                trafficking. He escaped to California and
                got picked up in Long Beach. They were
                setting up his extradition when he
                escaped again. Get this - Edie Finneran
                was called in to advise the proceedings.

                KUJAN
                Kobayashi.
                120.

                Bear nods.

                RAB IN
                I called New York County and they fared
                me a copy of Marquez's testimony. He was
                a rat.

                Kujan pulls out page after page from the file.

                KUJAN
                A big fucking rat.

                PINK 06/07/94

                RABIN
                Arturo was strongly opposed 'to going
                back to prison. So much so that he
                informed on close to fifty guys. Guess
                who he names for a finale?

                Kujan finds one sheet and notices a paragraph is highlighted.

                KUJAN
                Keyser Soze.

                BAER
                There's more.

                123 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 123

                Kujan walks in and sits down in front of Verbal. He smiles.

                KUJAN
                I'11 tell you what I know. Stop me when
                it sounds familiar.

                Verbal is confused.

                KUJAN
                There was no dope on that boat.
                121.

                124 INT. BOAT - NIGHT - ONE WEEK PRIOR 124

                Keaton is weaving through tight, low-ceiling corridors,
                looking in every cabin, working his way towards the bottom of
                the boat.

                ELSEWHERE IN THE BOAT, McManus is tearing though the
                corridors, seemingly less interested in securing the cargo as
                he is in killing everyone on board.

                He screams like a lunatic, shooting everything in his path,
                killing some men with his bare hands, shooting others,
                stabbing others still with a knife he has brought along.
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury the body of their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths
                • Intense conflict
                • Revelation of Keaton's involvement
                • Suspenseful atmosphere
                Weaknesses
                • Limited character development

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with intense conflict and a significant revelation.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of burying a body and the revelation of Keaton's involvement in criminal activities adds depth and intrigue to the story.

                Plot: 9

                The plot is well-developed, with the burial of Fenster's body and the revelation of Keaton's involvement in criminal activities driving the story forward.

                Originality: 3

                The level of originality in this scene is low. The situation of characters trying to escape a dangerous situation is a familiar one in action films. The actions and dialogue of the characters are also not particularly unique or fresh.


                Character Development

                Characters: 8

                The characters are well-defined and their conflicts and motivations drive the scene.

                Character Changes: 7

                The characters' relationships and dynamics change as a result of the burial and the revelation of Keaton's involvement.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is survival. They are trying to escape the dock and get to the van to save themselves.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to reach the van and escape the dock. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, which is the danger and violence happening around them.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 10

                The conflict between McManus and Keaton escalates to a heated argument, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with gunfire and violence from multiple directions. The audience is unsure of whether the protagonist will be able to escape safely.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes are high as the characters are forced to bury a body and the revelation of Keaton's involvement puts them in danger.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about Keaton and his involvement in criminal activities.

                Unpredictability: 6

                This scene is somewhat unpredictable because of the sudden violence and unexpected actions of the characters. However, the overall outcome of the scene is still somewhat predictable.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 8

                The scene evokes fear, confusion, and horror through the intense situation and the revelation of Keaton's involvement.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue is intense and reveals the tensions and conflicts between the characters.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because of the intense action and suspense. The fast-paced writing and the high stakes of the characters' situation keep the audience hooked.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, which contributes to its effectiveness in creating tension and excitement.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, followed by action and dialogue, and ends with a transition to the next scene.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear motivation for Hockney's actions. It is not clear why he suddenly realizes no one is left on the dock and decides to run back to the van.
                • The dialogue between Hockney and the man guarding the van feels forced and unnatural. It could be improved by adding more tension and urgency.
                • The discovery of money inside the van feels abrupt and out of place. It would benefit from better setup and foreshadowing earlier in the screenplay.
                • The visual element of blood spraying on the money is visually striking, but its significance is not fully explored or explained.
                • The scene ends with Hockney's death, which feels sudden and lacks emotional impact. It could be improved by building more suspense and tension leading up to his demise.
                Suggestions
                • Provide clearer motivation for Hockney's actions, such as a specific reason for him to run back to the van.
                • Revise the dialogue between Hockney and the man guarding the van to make it more tense and urgent.
                • Foreshadow the discovery of money inside the van earlier in the screenplay to make it feel more organic and less abrupt.
                • Explore the significance of blood spraying on the money and its impact on Hockney's character.
                • Build more suspense and tension leading up to Hockney's death to create a more impactful and emotional ending to the scene.



                Scene 30 -  Burial and Betrayal
                125 INT. CORRIDOR 125

                JAIME, one of the men from the boat, is half-pushing, half-
                helping a thin and sweaty looking MAN IN A CHECKERED BATHROBE
                towards a cabin at the end of the hall.

                The man in the robe is trembling. He seems stricken with
                fear.

                BLUE 06/01/94

                MAN IN ROBE
                He's here. I saw him on deck.

                Jaime pushes him inside the cabin and shuts the door.

                A stereo playing softly in the room mixes with the man's
                panicked breathing.

                The man in the robe screams through the closed door, his
                voice echoing off of the metal bulkheads.

                MAN IN ROBE
                I'M TELLING YOU IT'S KEYSER SOZE.

                Jaime stands outside the door of the cabin and turns to face
                down the hall. Off in some other part of the boat, he can
                hear McManus wailing like a banshee and the ever-less
                frequent sound of gunshots.
                122.

                126 INT. HOLD 126

                Keaton has come to the four-foot-high door to the hold. The
                door is open slightly. Keaton finds this strange. He pushes
                the door open and steps inside. The hold is empty.

                He hears a noise behind him. He wheels around to fire. He
                sees McManus in the door. His face is covered with blood.

                MCMANUS
                Did you hear what I heard?

                KEATON
                What happened to you?

                MCMANUS
                Keyser Soze is on the boat.

                KEATON
                What?

                MCMANUS
                I heard somebody screaming his nuts off.
                He said Keyser Soze was on the boat.

                KEATON
                Are you alright?

                McManus rubs some of the blood off with his sleeve.

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                MCMANUS
                Huh? Oh, It's not mine.

                KEATON
                There's no coke.

                McManus looks around the hold as though he'll see four and a
                half tons of dope in some corner where Keaton might have
                missed it.

                The two men look at one another. There is a long, pregnant
                silence.
                123.

                MCMANUS
                Let's get the fuck out of here.

                KEATON
                Right behind you.

                127 INT. CORRIDOR 127

                Keaton and McManus step out of the hold, walking slowly and
                cautiously back from where they came. They hear the sounds of
                footsteps running on the deck above and the occasional
                hollered sentence in Spanish.

                KEATON
                Where's Hockney?

                MCMANUS
                I don't think he made it to the boat.

                They come to a corner. They can go left or right.

                KEATON
                I can't remember which way.

                MCMANUS
                Right -

                BOOM - BOOM

                Gunshots fill the hallway from behind them. They do not stop
                to turn around. Keaton goes left, McManus goes right. They
                run in opposite directions with the sound of gunfire right
                behind them.

                128 INT. HALLWAY - CABIN 128

                Jaime squints and cocks his head.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                SOMEONE IS COMING. He raises a pistol and crouches by the
                door.
                124.

                129 INT. CABIN 129

                The man in the bathrobe sits on the foot of the bed watching
                the door. He hears the sounds of fighting somewhere not too
                far away.

                He crawls over the bed and squeezes between it and the
                bulkhead. Only the top of his head is visible. He starts to
                cry.

                BOOM - BOOM - Two shots just outside in the hall.

                SUDDENLY, the door bursts open. Jaime collapses in a heap on
                the floor, a bullet hole in his eye.

                A FIGURE LOOMS IN THE DOOR

                The man in the bathrobe looks up at the figure. We cannot see
                him.

                MAN IN ROBE
                I told them nothing.

                BOOM

                The man in the robe falls dead.

                130 EXT. DECK - MOMENTS LATER 130

                The boat is quiet now. Keaton walks out onto the deck. He
                looks out over the pier and sees Verbal standing in the
                middle of the carnage, frozen. Their eyes meet. Keaton waves
                at him as if to shoe him away.

                131 EXT. PIER - TOP OF RAMP 131

                Verbal hesitates and finally moves towards the van with the
                money. He looks back over his shoulder and sees Keaton.
                Keaton sees him looking and waves again, hurrying him along.

                Verbal turns away and focuses on the van.
                125.

                132 EXT. DECK 132

                Keaton hears a noise behind him. He swings around and points
                his gun at McManus again. He puts the gun down.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                McManus smiles. He walks slowly across the deck towards
                Keaton. Something is not right about him.

                MCMANUS
                Strangest thing...

                He slumps to the deck. Keaton rushes over to him. He kneels
                down and sees a pipe sticking out of the back of McManus's
                neck.

                133 EXT. PIER 133

                Verbal approaches the van, stepping over Hockney's body. He
                closes the back doors of the van.

                He looks to his left at the huge loading crane. He glances
                upward along the giant' arm as it swings steadily on.

                Somewhere, off in the distance, the sound of SIRENS can be
                heard.

                134 EXT. DECK 134

                Keaton kneels by McManus, trembling with rage. After a moment
                he stands, looking down at McManus' dead body.
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "Strong character dynamics, intense conflict, and emotional depth."
                Weaknesses "None apparent."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong character dynamics and emotional depth.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of criminals being forced to bury their friend's body adds tension and moral dilemmas to the story.

                Plot: 9

                The plot is well-developed, with the characters facing unexpected challenges and making difficult decisions.

                Originality: 6

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters being trapped on a boat and facing danger is not entirely unique, the specific details and interactions between characters add freshness to the familiar scenario. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters are complex and their conflicts drive the scene forward.

                Character Changes: 8

                The characters experience changes in their relationships and loyalties.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to survive and escape the dangerous situation on the boat. This reflects their deeper need for self-preservation and their fear of being caught or harmed.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find their missing crew member, Hockney, and regroup with the others. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the chaotic and dangerous environment of the boat.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 10

                The conflict between the characters is intense and drives the scene's tension.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters face multiple obstacles and dangers, such as the presence of Keyser Soze and the gunfire. The audience is unsure of how the characters will overcome these challenges.

                High Stakes: 10

                The characters are pursued by Keyser Soze, and their lives are at risk.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing the characters' actions and motivations.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the revelation of Keyser Soze's presence on the boat and the sudden appearance of a mysterious figure in the cabin. These surprises keep the audience on their toes and add to the tension.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions, including fear, anger, and sadness.

                Dialogue: 8

                The dialogue is intense and reveals the characters' emotions and motivations.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it effectively creates a sense of suspense and danger. The reader is drawn into the chaotic and tense environment of the boat, and the escalating events keep them invested in the outcome.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The quick and concise writing keeps the reader engaged and propels the action forward.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and builds tension through a series of escalating events.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear transitions between locations, making it confusing for the reader to follow the characters' movements.
                • The dialogue feels a bit generic and could benefit from more specific and character-driven lines.
                • The emotional tension could be heightened by adding more sensory details and internal thoughts of the characters.
                • The visual elements could be enhanced by describing the setting and the characters' physical appearances in more detail.
                • The pacing of the scene could be improved by tightening the descriptions and eliminating unnecessary repetition.
                • The conflict between the Man in the Robe and the presence of Keyser Soze could be further developed to increase suspense and intrigue.
                • The resolution of the conflict feels abrupt and could be more satisfying if there was a clearer connection to the overall story arc.
                • The ending of the scene could be strengthened by adding a sense of urgency or a cliffhanger that leaves the reader wanting to know what happens next.
                Suggestions
                • Clarify the transitions between locations by clearly indicating when characters move from one place to another.
                • Revise the dialogue to make it more specific to each character and to reveal their unique personalities and motivations.
                • Add sensory details and internal thoughts to deepen the emotional tension and make the scene more immersive.
                • Provide more vivid descriptions of the setting and the characters' appearances to enhance the visual elements of the scene.
                • Edit the descriptions to streamline the pacing and eliminate any repetitive or unnecessary information.
                • Develop the conflict between the Man in the Robe and Keyser Soze by adding more suspenseful moments and hints about their relationship.
                • Expand on the resolution of the conflict to make it more satisfying and connected to the larger story.
                • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a sense of urgency to create a stronger hook for the reader.



                Scene 31 -  Burial and Interrogation
                135 EXT. PIER 135

                SUDDENLY, Verbal realizes something. He turns and goes to
                call out a warning to Keaton. He is too late.

                136 EXT. DECK 136

                Keaton never sees the crane coming.

                WHAM
                126.

                The pellet of barrels hits him square in the back and sends
                him flying into the wheel house of the boat.

                Keaton is still for a moment. Finally, he tries to get up,
                but finds he cannot move his legs.

                137 EXT. PIER 137

                Verbal runs down the ramp as fast as he can. He comes to a
                rope ladder hanging down the side of the boat.

                SUDDENLY, he stops dead in his tracks, looking up at the
                boat.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                From where he stands, he can just make out the figure of a
                TAU, THIN MAN walking along the edge of the deck. He moves
                quietly and calmly in the shadows towards the crane, looking
                out of place in his expensive suit.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                Something about this man terrifies him.

                138 SCENE DELETED 138

                139 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT .139

                KUJAN
                And that's when you say in your statement
                that you saw...

                Kujan picks up his copy of Verbal's statement to the D.A.

                KUJAN
                A man in a suit with a slim build. Tall.

                VERBAL
                Wait a minute.

                KUJAN
                (looking at watch)
                I don't have a minute.
                127.
                Are you saying it was Keyser Soze? You
                told the D.A. you didn't know who it was.

                Verbal is drowning in Kujan's interrogation. He looks dazed.

                VERBAL
                I - there had to be dope there.

                BLUE 06/01/94

                KUJAN
                Don't shine me, Verbal. No more stalling.
                You know what I'm getting at.

                VERBAL
                I don't.

                KUJAN
                YES YOU DO. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT.
                THE TRUTH. TRY TO TELL ME YOU DIDN'T
                KNOW. TRY TO TELL ME YOU SAW SOMEONE KILL
                KEATON.

                For the first time, Verbal stands and tries to move away from
                Kujan, but Kujan stays in his face, backing him into a
                corner. Verbal shields himself with his hands and shuts his
                eyes.

                KUJAN
                TRY TO REEF LYING TO ME NOW. I KNOW
                EVERYTHING.

                VERBAL
                I don't know what you're talking about.

                KUJAN
                YOU KNOW. YOU'VE KNOWN THIS WHOLE FUCKING
                TIME. GIVE IT TO ME.

                Verbal looks into Kujan's eyes with genuine terror. Kujan's
                face is red, his body trembles. His locomotive breathing is
                the only sound in the room.
                128.

                VERBAL
                I don't understand what you're saying. I
                saw Keaton get shot, I swear to you.

                KUJAN
                Then why didn't you help him?

                VERBAL
                I WAS AFRAID, OKAY? Somehow, I was sure
                it was Keyser Soze at that point. I
                couldn't bring myself to raise my gun to
                him.

                KUJAN
                But Keaton...

                VERBAL
                It was Keyser Soze, Agent Kujan. I mean
                the Devil himself. How do you shoot the
                Devil in the back?

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                Verbal holds up a shaking, twisted hand.

                VERBAL
                What if you miss?

                140 EXT. BARGE - NIGHT - ONE WEEK PRIOR 140

                Verbal is hiding in the tangle of girders and cables on the
                barge.

                VERBAL'S P.O.V.

                Keaton's body is completely obscured. The man in a suit
                strides across the deck over to Keaton, stopping to relieve
                himself on a small fire on the deck. He walks up and stands
                over Keaton. The two men exchange words and the man in the
                suit pulls out a pistol. He points it at Keaton.
                129.

                RED AND BLUE LIGHTS FLASH BEHIND VERBAL

                Verbal turns. He can just make out police cars coming in the
                distance.

                BANG

                Verbal hears a shot from the deck of the boat. He turns in
                time to see the man in the suit running across the deck
                toward the gangway.

                Verbal can barely see the man from where he is now. The man
                in the suit is covered by shadows and the poor angle from the
                barge. Verbal strains to see but he cannot.

                The man in the suit stops long enough to pull out a lighter.
                He turns and walks back across the deck and out of sight. A
                moment later flames leap up from on the deck. The mesh of
                steel and rubber leaves a dark and open cocoon at its base.

                MOVE INTO THE DARKNESS.

                Sirens are close now. Almost here. The sound of fire raging
                out of control.

                SIRENS BLARING. TIRES SQUEALING. CAR DOORS OPENING.
                FEETPOUNDING THE PAVEMENT.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                MOVE FURTHER, SLOWER, INTO THE DARKNESS.

                Voices yelling. New light flickering in the surrounding
                darkness.

                BLUE 06/01/94
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary Keaton and his group of criminals are forced to bury their deceased friend, Fenster, on a deserted beach. Tensions rise as McManus confronts Keaton about finding time to bury Fenster, leading to a heated argument. Despite the disagreement, they all end up digging a hole and burying Fenster's body. The scene then cuts back to the present, where Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities.
                Strengths "The scene effectively builds tension and fear, explores complex emotions and motivations, and advances the plot and character development."
                Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from further exploration of the characters' internal conflicts and deeper exploration of the theme of loyalty."

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene effectively builds tension and fear through the confrontation between McManus and Keaton, as well as the interrogation of Verbal. The emotional impact is high, and the stakes are raised as the characters face the consequences of their criminal activities.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of burying a deceased friend while being pursued by law enforcement adds depth and complexity to the scene. It explores themes of loyalty, fear, and the consequences of criminal actions.

                Plot: 9

                The plot of the scene revolves around the burial of Fenster's body and the interrogation of Verbal. It effectively advances the overall story by revealing more about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities and increasing the tension and conflict among the characters.

                Originality: 7

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist being interrogated and revealing information about a criminal is familiar, the presence of Keyser Soze as a mysterious and feared character adds a unique element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The conflict between McManus and Keaton adds depth to their relationship, and Verbal's fear and vulnerability during the interrogation make him a compelling character.

                Character Changes: 8

                Verbal experiences a significant change in the scene as he confronts his fear and reveals more about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. This change adds depth to his character and drives the plot forward.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand and confront his fear of Keyser Soze, the notorious criminal. This reflects his deeper need for closure and resolution, as well as his fear of the unknown and the consequences of his actions.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to escape from the boat and warn Keaton of the danger. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing, as well as his loyalty to his friend.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict in the scene is high, both in terms of the emotional conflict between the characters and the external conflict of being pursued by law enforcement. The tension and arguments between the characters create a sense of unease and anticipation.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as Verbal is being interrogated by Kujan and faces the challenge of revealing the truth about Keyser Soze. The audience is unsure of how Verbal will respond and what the consequences will be.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes in the scene are high, as the characters face the consequences of their criminal activities and the potential danger of being caught by law enforcement. The emotional and physical risks add tension and urgency to the scene.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities and increasing the tension and conflict among the characters. It also sets up the climax of the film.

                Unpredictability: 8

                This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the character of Keyser Soze, who is feared and mysterious. The audience does not know how the protagonist will confront his fear or what the consequences will be.

                Philosophical Conflict: 6

                There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Verbal and Kujan. Verbal's belief in the existence and power of Keyser Soze challenges Kujan's skepticism and desire for the truth. This conflict relates to Verbal's worldview and his belief in the supernatural and the consequences of his actions.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, tension, and grief. The characters' vulnerability and the high stakes of the situation contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.

                Dialogue: 8

                The dialogue in the scene is intense and emotionally charged, particularly during the argument between McManus and Keaton and the interrogation between Verbal and Kujan. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation and creates suspense through the protagonist's fear and the mystery surrounding Keyser Soze. The dialogue and action keep the audience invested in the outcome.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The quick cuts between different locations and the intense dialogue keep the scene moving at a fast pace.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It is clear and easy to read.

                Structure: 9

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It effectively conveys the sequence of events and the tension between the characters.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear transitions between locations and timeframes, making it confusing for the reader to follow.
                • The description of Keaton being hit by the crane could be more vivid and impactful to enhance the tension and shock of the moment.
                • Verbal's realization about the figure on the boat could be built up more effectively to increase the sense of terror and suspense.
                • The interrogation scene with Agent Kujan feels rushed and could benefit from more tension and conflict between the characters.
                • Verbal's confession about Keyser Soze and his fear could be more emotionally charged and impactful.
                • The flashback to Keaton being shot could be better integrated into the scene to provide a clearer connection to Verbal's confession.
                • The scene could benefit from more visual details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in the setting.
                Suggestions
                • Add clear scene headings or transitions to indicate changes in location and timeframe.
                • Revise the description of Keaton being hit by the crane to make it more vivid and shocking.
                • Build up Verbal's realization about the figure on the boat with suspenseful and descriptive language.
                • Expand the interrogation scene with Agent Kujan to create more tension and conflict between Verbal and Kujan.
                • Amplify the emotional impact of Verbal's confession about Keyser Soze and his fear by adding more internal thoughts and reactions.
                • Integrate the flashback to Keaton being shot more seamlessly into the scene to provide a stronger connection to Verbal's confession.
                • Include more visual details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in the setting, such as the sounds of sirens and the sight of fire raging.



                Scene 32 -  The Revelation
                141 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE - DAY - PRESENT 141

                KUJAN
                Arturo Marquez. Ever hear of him?

                VERBAL
                Wha- No.
                130.

                KUJAN
                He was a stool pigeon for the Justice
                Department. He swore out a statement to
                Federal Marshals that he had seen and
                could positively identify one Keyser Soze
                and had intimate knowledge of his
                business, including, but not exclusive
                to, drug trafficking and murder.

                VERBAL
                I never heard of him.

                KUJAN
                His own people were selling him to a gang
                of Hungarians. Most likely the same
                Hungarians that Sate all but wiped out
                back in Turkey. The money wasn't there
                for dope. The Hungarians were going to
                buy the one guy that could finger Soze
                for them.

                VERBAL
                I said I never heard of him.

                KUJAN
                But Keaton had. Edie Finneran was his
                extradition advisor. She knew who he was
                and what he knew.

                VERBAL
                I don't.

                KUJAN
                There were no drugs on that boat. It was
                a hit. A suicide mission to whack out the
                one man that could finger Keyser Soze so
                Sate had a few thieves put to it. Men he
                knew he could march into certain death.

                VERBAL
                But how - wait. You're saying SOZE sent
                us to kill someone?
                131.

                BLUE 06/01/94

                KUJAN
                I'm saying Keaton did.

                Verbal cannot grasp this. He squints, trying to understand.

                KUJAN
                Verbal, he left you behind for a reason.
                If you all knew Soze could find you
                anywhere, why was he ready to send you
                off with the money when he could have
                used you to take the boat?

                VERBAL
                He wanted me to live.

                KUJAN
                Why did he want you to live? A one-time
                dirty cop without a loyalty in the world
                finds it in his heart to save a worthless
                rat-cripple? No, sir. Why'

                VERBAL
                Edie.

                KUJAN
                I don't buy that reform story for a
                minute. And even if I did, I certainly
                don't believe he would send you to
                protect her. So why?

                VERBAL
                Because he was my friend.

                KUJAN
                No, Verbal. You weren't friends. Keaton
                didn't have friends. He saved you because
                he wanted it that way. It was his will.
                132.

                Verbal grinds to a mental halt, trying to grasp the
                implication .

                SUDDENLY:

                VERBAL
                No...

                KUJAN
                Keaton was Keyser Soze.

                VERBAL
                NO.

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                KUJAN
                The kind of guy who could wrangle the
                wills of men like Hockney and McManus.
                The kind of man who could engineer a
                police line-up from all his years of
                contacts in N.Y.P.D.

                Verbal stands on wobbly legs, shaking with anger.

                VERBAL
                NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

                KUJAN
                THE KIND OF MAN THAT COULD HAVE KILLED
                EDIE FINNERAN.

                A strange look crosses Verbal's face. Shock perhaps, or
                revelation.

                KUJAN
                They found her yesterday in a hotel in
                Pennsylvania. Shot twice in the head.

                It starts to sink in with Verbal. His eyes swell.

                VERBAL
                Edie...
                133.

                KUJAN
                He used all of you to get him on that
                boat. He couldn't get on alone and he had
                to pull the trigger himself to make sure
                he got his man. The one man that could
                identify him.

                VERBAL
                This is all bullshit.

                KUJAN
                He left you to stay behind and tell us he
                was dead. You saw him die, right? Or did
                you? You had to hide when the first
                police cars showed up. You heard the
                shot, just before the fire but you didn't
                see him die.

                VERBAL
                I knew him. He would never -

                KUJAN
                He programmed you to tell us just what he
                wanted you to. Customs has been

                SCRIPT DATE 5/25/94

                KUJAN
                investigating him for years. He knew we
                were close. You said it yourself. Where
                is the political pressure coming from?
                Why are you being protected? It's Keaton
                making sure you tell us what you're
                supposed to. Immunity is your reward.

                VERBAL
                BUT WHY ME? WHY NOT HOCKNEY OR FENSTER OR
                McMANUS? I'm a cripple. I'm stupid. Why
                me?

                Verbal hears the weight of his words and falls back in his
                chair, Kujan looks at him with some pity,; but he is too far
                in to stop.
                134.

                KUJAN
                Because you're a cripple, Verbal. Because
                you're stupid. Because you were weaker
                than them. Because you couldn't see far
                enough into him to know the truth.

                Verbal is crying now. He shakes his head, eyes closed.

                KUJAN
                If he's dead, Verbal - if what you say is
                true, then it won't matter. It was his
                idea to hit the Taxi Service in New York,
                wasn't it? Tell me the truth.

                VERBAL
                (sobbing)
                It was all Keaton. We followed him from
                the beginning.

                Kujan smiles with triumphant satisfaction.

                VERBAL
                I didn't know. I saw him die. I believe
                he's dead. Christ.

                KUJAN
                Why lie about everything else, then?

                VERBAL
                You know what it's like, Agent Kujan, to
                know you'll never be good? Not good like
                you. You got good all fucked around. I
                mean a stand up guy. I grew up knowing I
                was never going to be good at anything
                'cause I was a cripple. Shit, I wasn't

                BLUE 06/01/94

                VERBAL
                even a good thief. But I thought the one
                thing I could be good at was a keeping my
                mouth shut - keeping the code.
                135.
                I didn't want to tell you for my dignity,
                that's all, and you robbed me, Agent
                Kujan. You robbed me.

                Kujan pulls the microphone out from under his tie and puts it
                on the desk. Verbal actually manages to snort a laugh, but
                only briefly, overcome by an apparent wave of nausea.

                KUJAN
                You're not safe on your own.

                VERBAL
                You think he's..?

                KUJAN
                Is he Keyser Soze I don't know, Verbal.
                It seems to me that Keyser Sate is a
                shield. Like you said, a spook story, but
                I know Keaton - and someone out there is
                pulling strings for you. Stay here and
                let us protect you.

                VERBAL
                I'm not bait. No way. I post today.

                KUJAN
                You posted twenty minutes ago. Captain
                Leo wants you out of here a.s.a.p.,
                unless you turn state's.

                VERBAL
                I'11 take my chances, thank you. It's
                tougher to buy the cheapest bag-man than
                it is to buy a cop.

                KUJAN
                Where are you going to go, Verbal? You
                gonna run? Turn states evidence. You
                might never see trial. If somebody wants
                to get you, you know They'll get you out
                there.
                136.

                VERBAL
                Maybe so, but I'm no rat, Agent Kujan.
                You tricked me, that's all. I won't keep
                my mouth shut 'cause I'm scared. I'11
                keep it shut 'cause I let Keaton down by
                getting caught - Edie Finneran too. And
                if they kill me, it's

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                VERBAL
                because they'll hear I dropped dime.
                They'll probably hear it from you.

                Verbal stands, mustering his shattered dignity and walks
                towards the door. Rabin opens it for him from outside.

                For once Kujan cannot bring himself to look at Verbal. Verbal
                turns to the door, stopping to look Rabin in the eye.

                VERBAL
                Fuckin' cops.

                He steps out of the room and into the hall. Rabin follows
                him.
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary Verbal is interrogated by Agent Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals that Keaton is Keyser Soze, the mastermind behind everything. Verbal is in denial at first but eventually realizes the truth. He confronts Kujan about tricking him and decides to take his chances rather than becoming a rat. The scene ends with Verbal leaving the room, feeling betrayed.
                Strengths "The impactful revelation of Keaton being Keyser Soze, the intense dialogue, the emotional journey of Verbal"
                Weaknesses "Lack of visual action, heavy reliance on dialogue"

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly impactful and intense, with a major plot twist and emotional revelation. The dialogue is well-written and the conflict between Verbal and Kujan adds tension. The only weakness is that it relies heavily on dialogue and lacks visual action.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of Keaton being Keyser Soze is a brilliant twist that adds depth to the story. The scene effectively explores the theme of betrayal and the consequences of one's actions.

                Plot: 9

                The plot takes a major turn with the revelation of Keaton's true identity. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to know what happens next.

                Originality: 6

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a character being deceived and the revelation of a hidden identity is not entirely unique, the specific details and dialogue in this scene add freshness to the familiar trope. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations. Verbal's emotional journey and realization of the truth make him a compelling protagonist.

                Character Changes: 9

                Verbal undergoes a significant character change as he realizes the truth about Keaton. He goes from denial to acceptance and decides to confront Kujan.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand the truth about Keaton and Keyser Soze. This reflects their desire for justice and their fear of being deceived.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to protect themselves and avoid being used as bait. This reflects the immediate challenge of their safety and the circumstances they are facing.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene forward. Verbal's internal conflict adds depth to the overall conflict.

                Opposition: 9

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with challenging questions and conflicting information. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will react and what the outcome will be.

                High Stakes: 10

                The stakes are high as Verbal realizes that he has been manipulated and that his life is in danger. The revelation of Keaton being Keyser Soze raises the stakes even further.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing Keaton's true identity and setting up the final act.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because it reveals unexpected information about the characters and their motivations. The audience is kept guessing about the true identity of Keaton and Keyser Soze.

                Philosophical Conflict: 9

                The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the question of loyalty and trust. The protagonist is challenged to question their beliefs and values about friendship and loyalty.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 10

                The scene has a high emotional impact due to Verbal's realization and the betrayal he feels. It evokes shock, anger, and sadness.

                Dialogue: 10

                The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals crucial information. It effectively conveys the tension and emotions of the scene.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it reveals important information and builds suspense. The dialogue is sharp and the tension between the characters keeps the audience interested.

                Pacing: 8

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and action are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene transitions.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, dialogue, and action lines.


                Critique
                • The dialogue in this scene is effective in revealing important information and creating tension. However, there are moments where the dialogue feels a bit repetitive and could be streamlined to maintain the pacing of the scene.
                • The emotional journey of Verbal could be further explored and developed. While his initial denial and subsequent acceptance of Keaton being Keyser Soze is clear, there could be more depth and complexity to his reactions.
                • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the tension and create a stronger impact. Consider incorporating more physical actions or gestures that reflect the characters' emotions and add visual interest to the scene.
                • The ending of the scene feels a bit abrupt and could be strengthened by adding a final beat or moment that leaves a lasting impression on the audience.
                • The pacing of the scene could be improved by tightening the dialogue and removing any unnecessary repetition or exposition.
                Suggestions
                • Consider revising the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful.
                • Explore Verbal's emotional journey in more depth to add complexity to his character.
                • Incorporate more visual elements or actions to enhance the tension and create a stronger impact.
                • Add a final beat or moment at the end of the scene to leave a lasting impression on the audience.
                • Tighten the dialogue and remove any unnecessary repetition or exposition to improve the pacing of the scene.



                Scene 33 -  The Revelation
                142 INT. HOSPITAL - DAY 142

                Daniel Metzheiser comes out of Arkosh Kovash's room with a
                single sheet of 15x20 inch paper in his hand. He inspects the
                sketch with great interest. He folds the edges of the paper
                back to make it smaller.

                143 INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION ROOM 143

                Metzheiser walks behind the reception desk without asking the
                nurse for permission and helps himself to the fax machine.

                144 INT. DEPOT - LATER 144

                Verbal is downstairs in the depot of the police station
                picking up his personal belongings.
                137.
                A FAT, WHITE-HAIRED COP is checking off the items as he takes
                them out of the tray in which they are kept.

                COP
                One watch: gold. One cigarette lighter:
                gold. One wallet: brown. One pack of
                cigarettes.

                Verbal collects his personal items and shuffles on his lame
                leg toward the exit.

                145 INT. DISPATCHER'S OFFICE 145

                Jack Baer stands by a fax machine. A green light comes on
                next to a digital display.

                The display reads: RECEIVING

                BLUE 06/01/94

                146 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 146

                Kujan stares solemnly at the bulletin board, drinking from
                Rabin's coffee cup. Rabin sits at the desk, sifting through
                the mound of gapers as though considering organizing them
                once and for all.

                RABIN
                You still don't know shit.

                KUJAN
                I know what I wanted to know about
                Keaton.

                RAB IN
                Which is shit.

                KUJAN
                No matter. He'll have to know how close
                we came.

                RABIN
                Keyser Sate or not, if Keaton's alive
                he'll never come up again.
                138.

                KUJAN
                I'11 find him.

                RAB IN
                Waste of time.

                KUJAN
                (to himself)
                A rumor is not a rumor that doesn't die.

                RAB IN
                What?

                KUJAN
                Nothing. Something I - forget it.

                Kujan shakes his head. He gestures to the desk.

                KUJAN
                Man, you're a fucking slob.

                Rabin regards the mess of his office.

                RABIN
                Yeah. It's got its own system though. It
                all makes sense when you look at it
                right. You just have to step back from

                BLUE 06/01/94

                RABIN
                it, you know? You should see my garage,
                now that's a horror show...

                Kujan is not listening. He has been staring at the bulletin
                board, lost in thought, his unfocused eyes drifting across
                the mess of papers, not looking at anything at all.

                147 EXT. STREET 147

                Verbal steps out into the sunlight, putting on a pair of
                cheap sunglasses. He looks up and down the crowded street.
                People on their way to and from lunch, no doubt.
                139.
                Cars choke the street in front of the police department as
                they wait for pedestrians to clear the way.

                148 INT. DISPATCHER'S OFFICE 148
                -

                A single sheet of paper comes out of the fax machine, face
                down.

                149 INT. RABIN'S OFFICE 149

                Kujan still stares at the bulletin board.

                SUDDENLY, Kujan's face changes. He leans in closer to the
                bulletin board and squints his eyes. His face changes again.

                First a look of puzzlement, then confusion - finally
                realization.

                The coffee cup tumbles from his hand. It hits the floor with
                the SMASH of cheap porcelain. Coffee splatters everywhere.
                Rabin snaps out of his droning and looks up in surprise.

                KUJAN'S P.O.V.

                Kujan is staring not at what is on the bulletin board, but at
                the bulletin board itself.

                His eyes follow the aluminum frame, mounted firmly to the
                wall. One might note it's sturdy construction and it's
                convenient size. Big enough to hold a lifetime of forgotten
                and disregarded notes and facts. Years of police trivia that
                has been hung and forgotten with the intention of finding a
                use for it all someday. One might want such a bulletin board
                for one's self. One would look to see who makes such a
                bulletin board.

                Kujan's eyes are locked on a metal plate bearing the
                manufacturer's name.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                It reads: QUARTET - SKOKIE, ILLINOIS

                Kujan's eyes flash all over the bulletin board. He finds a
                picture of Rabin in the far corner.
                140.
                He stands beside a scale in fishing gear. He proudly holds a
                hand out to his freshly caught marlin. His eyes skim quickly
                over and stop on an eight and a half by eleven inch fax sheet
                of what must be a THREE HUNDRED POUND BLACK MAN. Kujan glazes
                over his name, it is irrelevant. His aliases stand out.

                Slavin, BRICKS, Shank, REDFOOT, Thee, Rooster...

                KUJAN'S EYES WIDEN with sudden realization. He runs for the
                door.

                His foot crushes the broken pieces of Rabin's coffee cup. The
                cup that hovered over Verbal's head for two hours.

                Kujan is in too much of a hurry to notice the two words
                printed on the jagged piece that had been the bottom of the
                cheap mug.

                KOBAYASHI PORCELAIN.

                150 EXT. HALLWAY 150

                Kujan is sprinting wildly down the hall for the stairs.

                151 EXT. STREET 151

                Verbal looks behind him and sees ANOTHER COP standing just
                inside the doorway, lighting a cigarette. The cop notices
                Verbal and watches him in the way that cops look at people
                they cannot place in the category of idiot citizen, or stupid
                criminal.

                Verbal smiles politely, meekly at the cop and walks down the
                steps into the moving throng.
                Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Mystery"]

                Summary Verbal is interrogated by Agent Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals that Keaton is Keyser Soze, the mastermind behind everything. Verbal is in denial at first but eventually realizes the truth. He confronts Kujan about tricking him and decides to take his chances rather than becoming a rat. The scene ends with Verbal leaving the room, feeling betrayed.
                Strengths "Intense dialogue, gripping plot twist, strong character development"
                Weaknesses "None apparent"

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly impactful and intense, with a major plot twist that changes the entire narrative. The dialogue is gripping and the tension between Verbal and Kujan is palpable.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of a criminal mastermind hiding in plain sight adds depth and intrigue to the story. The revelation of Keaton's true identity is a major turning point.

                Plot: 9

                The plot takes a dramatic turn with the revelation of Keaton as Keyser Soze. It adds complexity and raises the stakes for the characters.

                Originality: 5

                The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and actions are familiar and there are no particularly unique or fresh approaches. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is realistic and believable.


                Character Development

                Characters: 8

                Verbal and Kujan are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations. Their interactions drive the tension and suspense in the scene.

                Character Changes: 9

                Verbal undergoes a significant character change as he realizes the truth about Keaton and confronts Kujan.

                Internal Goal: 7

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Verbal is trying to gather information or evidence related to Keaton and Keyser Söze.

                External Goal: 8

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to collect his personal belongings from the police station and leave.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between Verbal and Kujan is intense and drives the scene forward. Verbal's internal conflict adds another layer of tension.

                Opposition: 7

                The opposition in this scene is moderate. Verbal faces some obstacles, such as the cop watching him, but they are not particularly difficult to overcome.

                High Stakes: 10

                The stakes are incredibly high as Verbal realizes the true identity of Keyser Soze and must decide how to proceed.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing Keaton's true identity and setting up the climax.

                Unpredictability: 6

                This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces new information and raises questions about the protagonist's motives and the overall plot.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions, especially as Verbal confronts the truth and feels betrayed by Kujan.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing important information and showcasing the characters' emotions.

                Engagement: 7

                This scene is engaging because it introduces new information and raises questions about the protagonist's motives and the overall plot.

                Pacing: 8

                The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The quick cuts between different locations and the protagonist's actions create a sense of urgency.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings and concise action lines.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks clear transitions between locations, making it confusing for the reader to follow the characters' movements.
                • The actions of the characters in the hospital and police station are not directly connected to the main plot, which may distract from the overall story.
                • The dialogue between Rabin and Kujan feels repetitive and does not provide new information or advance the plot.
                • The significance of Verbal collecting his personal belongings is unclear and does not contribute to the tension or conflict in the scene.
                • The visual description of the bulletin board and the clue could be more vivid and engaging for the reader.
                Suggestions
                • Consider reorganizing the scene to have a clearer flow between locations, such as starting with the hospital, then moving to the police station, and ending on the street.
                • Ensure that each action and dialogue exchange in the scene directly relates to the main plot and adds to the tension and conflict.
                • Revise the dialogue between Rabin and Kujan to make it more dynamic and informative, revealing new information about Keaton and Keyser Soze.
                • Give Verbal a more active role in the scene, connecting his actions to the main conflict or providing additional clues.
                • Enhance the visual description of the bulletin board and the clue to create a stronger visual impact for the reader.



                Scene 34 -  The Betrayal
                152 INT. DEPOT 152

                Kujan runs up to the desk where Verbal had only moments
                before picked up his belongings. Rabin is right behind him, a
                look of absolute confusion on his face.

                KUJAN
                WHERE IS HE? DID YOU SEE HIM?
                141.

                COP
                The Cripple? He went that way.

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                The cog gestures towards the door.

                Kujan runs outside looking around frantically.

                153 SCENE DELETED 153

                YELLOW 06/11/94

                154 EXT. SIDEWALK 154

                Verbal limps his way carefully across the sidewalk, avoiding
                people as best as he can.

                He looks over his shoulder, getting farther away from the
                police station. He can see Rabin and the cop on the steps,
                looking around with strange, lost expressions on their faces.

                He does not notice the car creeping along the curb beside
                him.

                155 INT. CAR 155

                DRIVER'S P.O.V.

                The driver's hands tap the wheel patiently. His eyes follow
                Verbal as he fumbles through the crowd.

                156 EXT. SIDEWALK 156

                Kujan pushes and shoves, looking this way and that.

                157 EXT. STREET 157

                LOW ANGLE on the feet of dozens of people. Verbal's feet
                emerge from the crowd on the far side. They hobble along the
                curb.
                142.

                SUDDENLY, the right foot seems to relax a little, the inward
                angle straightens itself out in a few paces and the limp
                ceases as though the leg has grown another inch.

                CRANE UP VERBAL'S BODY

                Verbal's hands are rummaging around in his pockets. The good
                left hand comes up with a pack of cigarettes, the bad right
                hand comes up with a lighter. The right hand flexes with all

                BLUE 06/01/94

                of the grace and coordination of a sculptor's, flicking the
                clasp on the antique lighter with the thumb, striking the
                flint with the index finger. It is a fluid motion, somewhat
                showy.

                Verbal lights a cigarette and smiles to himself. He turns and
                sees the car running alongside.

                158 INT. DISPATCHER'S OFFICE 158

                Jack Beer pulls the sheet out of the fax machine and turns it
                over, revealing the composite sketch of Keyser SOZE.

                Though crude and distorted, one cannot help but notice how
                much it looks like VERBAL KINT.

                159 EXT. STREET 159

                The car stops. The driver gets out. IT IS KOBAYASHI, or the
                man we have come to know as such. He smiles to Verbal. Verbal
                steps off of the curb, returning the smile as he opens the
                passenger door and gets in.

                The man called Kobayashi gets in the driver's seat and pulls
                away.

                A moment later, Agent David Kujan of U.S. Customs wanders
                into the frame, looking around much in the way a child would
                when lost at the circus.
                143.

                He takes no notice of the car pulling out into traffic,
                blending in with the rest of the cars filled with people on
                their way back to work.

                BLACK
                Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

                Summary Verbal is interrogated by Agent Kujan about Keaton's involvement in criminal activities. Kujan reveals that Keaton is Keyser Soze, the mastermind behind everything. Verbal is in denial at first but eventually realizes the truth. He confronts Kujan about tricking him and decides to take his chances rather than becoming a rat. The scene ends with Verbal leaving the room, feeling betrayed.
                Strengths
                • Intense dialogue
                • Revelation of Keyser Soze's identity
                • Strong performances
                Weaknesses
                • Some may find the twist predictable

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene is highly engaging and intense, with a major revelation and a sense of betrayal. The dialogue and performances are strong, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of a criminal mastermind being revealed and a character's internal struggle with denial and betrayal is intriguing and well-executed.

                Plot: 9

                The plot is well-developed, with the revelation of Keyser Soze's identity and Verbal's internal conflict driving the scene forward.

                Originality: 5

                The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and actions are familiar, such as a protagonist evading capture and being pursued by law enforcement. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and consistent with the genre.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters are well-defined and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed, especially Verbal's denial and eventual realization.

                Character Changes: 9

                Verbal undergoes a significant character change, transitioning from denial to acceptance of the truth.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to escape from the police and avoid being caught. This reflects their deeper need for freedom and their fear of being apprehended and facing the consequences of their actions.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to physically distance themselves from the police station and evade capture. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, which include being pursued by law enforcement.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between Verbal and Kujan, as well as Verbal's internal conflict, creates a high level of tension and suspense.

                Opposition: 8

                The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is being pursued by the police and faces the challenge of evading capture.

                High Stakes: 9

                The stakes are high as Verbal realizes the true identity of Keyser Soze and must make a decision that could have serious consequences.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by revealing Keyser Soze's identity and setting up Verbal's decision to take chances.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the audience does not know how the protagonist will successfully evade the police and escape.

                Philosophical Conflict: 0

                There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly during Verbal's realization and feeling of betrayal.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue is sharp and impactful, particularly during Verbal's confrontation with Kujan.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and anticipation as the protagonist tries to escape from the police. The fast-paced action and the protagonist's resourcefulness keep the audience invested in the outcome.

                Pacing: 9

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The quick cuts between different locations and the protagonist's actions create a fast-paced rhythm.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, capitalization, and punctuation.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


                Critique
                • The scene lacks significant dialogue, which could have added depth to the characters and their motivations.
                • The emotional tone of the scene could have been heightened with more description of Verbal's thoughts and feelings as he escapes from the police.
                • The actions in the scene are somewhat predictable and could benefit from more unexpected twists or turns.
                • The visual element of the composite sketch of Keyser Soze is significant, but could have been more fully integrated into the scene to add more tension and suspense.
                • The scene could benefit from more attention to detail in terms of setting and atmosphere, which would help to immerse the audience in the story.
                Suggestions
                • Consider adding more dialogue to the scene to flesh out the characters and their motivations.
                • Try to heighten the emotional tone of the scene by adding more description of Verbal's thoughts and feelings as he escapes from the police.
                • Think about adding unexpected twists or turns to the scene to keep the audience engaged and guessing.
                • Consider integrating the composite sketch of Keyser Soze more fully into the scene to add more tension and suspense.
                • Pay more attention to detail in terms of setting and atmosphere to help immerse the audience in the story.