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Scene 1 -  Arrival at the Titanic
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
THIS SCRIPT IS FOR

EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY

"Titanic" a screenplay by James Cameron

Cast:

KATE WINSLET... Rose DeWitt Bukater LEONARDO DICAPRIO... Jack
Dawson KATHY BATES... The Unsinkable Molly Brown BILLY
ZANE... Caledon Hockley BILL PAXTON... Brock Lovett

Written and Directed by:

JAMES CAMERON

1 BLACKNESS 1

Then two faint lights appear, close together... growing
brighter. They resolve into two DEEP SUBMERSIBLES, free-
falling toward us like express elevators.

One is ahead of the other, and passes close enough to FILL
FRAME, looking like a spacecraft blazing with lights,
bristling with insectile manipulators.

TILTING DOWN to follow it as it descends away into the
limitless blackness below. Soon they are fireflies, then
stars. Then gone.

CUT TO:

2 EXT./ INT. MIR ONE / NORTH ATLANTIC DEEP 2

PUSHING IN on one of the falling submersibles, called MIR
ONE, right up to its circular viewport to see the occupants.

INSIDE, it is a cramped seven foot sphere, crammed with
equipment. ANATOLY MIKAILAVICH, the sub's pilot, sits
hunched over his controls... singing softly in Russian.

Next to him on one side is BROCK LOVETT. He's in his late
forties, deeply tanned, and likes to wear his Nomex suit
unzipped to show the gold from famous shipwrecks covering
his gray chest hair. He is a wiley, fast-talking treasure
hunter, a salvage superstar who is part historian, part
adventurer and part vacuum cleaner salesman. Right now, he
is propped against the CO2 scrubber, fast asleep and
snoring.

On the other side, crammed into the remaining space is a
bearded wide-body named LEWIS BODINE, sho is also asleep.
Lewis is an R.O.V. (REMOTELY OPERATED VEHICLE) pilot and is
the resident Titanic expert.

(CONTINUED)
2.
2 CONTINUED: 2


Anatoly glances at the bottom sonar and makes a ballast
adjustment.

CUT TO:

3 EXT. THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA 3

A pale, dead-flat lunar landscape. It gets brighter, lit
from above, as MIR ONE enters FRAME and drops to the
seafloor in a downblast from its thrusters. It hits bottom
after its two hour free-fall with a loud BONK.

CUT TO:

4 INT. MIR ONE 4

Lovett and Bodine jerk awake at the landing.

ANATOLY
(heavy Russian accent)
We are here.
Genres: ["Adventure","Drama"]

Summary Two deep submersibles, MIR ONE and MIR TWO, descend into the darkness of the ocean. MIR ONE, carrying Anatoly Mikailavich, Brock Lovett, and Lewis Bodine, reaches the ocean floor. Anatoly announces their arrival, concluding the scene.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of characters
  • Establishment of high stakes
  • Intriguing setting
Weaknesses
  • Minimal emotional impact
  • Limited character development
Critique
  • The scene opens with a visually stunning description of the deep submersibles free-falling in the ocean, creating a sense of awe and anticipation. However, the transition from the blackness of space to the deep sea could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The introduction of the characters Anatoly Mikailavich, Brock Lovett, and Lewis Bodine is effective in setting up their roles and personalities. However, more insight into their motivations and relationships could add depth to the scene.
  • The dialogue is minimal in this scene, with Anatoly singing in Russian and Lovett and Bodine asleep. While this adds a sense of realism, some interaction or conversation between the characters could help establish their dynamic and engage the audience.
  • The description of the setting at the bottom of the sea as a 'pale, dead-flat lunar landscape' is evocative and sets the tone for the underwater exploration. However, more sensory details could be included to immerse the audience in the environment.
  • Overall, the scene effectively sets up the premise of the story and introduces key characters in a visually engaging way. However, adding more depth to the characters, improving the transition between settings, and enhancing the sensory descriptions could elevate the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief interaction or conversation between the characters to establish their relationships and motivations.
  • Smooth out the transition from the blackness of space to the deep sea to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the sensory descriptions of the underwater environment to immerse the audience in the setting.
  • Provide more insight into the characters' backgrounds and personalities to add depth to the scene.



Scene 2 -  Exploring the Titanic's Wreckage
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. / INT. MIR ONE AND TWO

5 MINUTES LATER: THE TWO SUBS skim over the seafloor to
the sound of sidescan sonar and the THRUM of big thrusters.

6 The featureless gray clay of the bottom unrols in the
lights of the subs. Bodine is watching the sidescan sonar
display, where the outline of a huge pointed object is
visible. Anatoly lies prone, driving the sub, his face
pressed to the center port.

BODINE
Come left a little. She's right in
front of us, eighteen meters.
Fifteen. Thirteen... you should see it.

ANATOLY
Do you see it? I don't see it...
there!

Out of the darkness, like a ghostly apparition, the bow of
the ship appears. Its knife-edge prow is coming straight at
us, seeming to plow the bottom sediment like ocean waves.
It towers above the seafloor, standing just as it landed 84
years ago.

THE TITANIC. Or what is left of her. Mir One goes up and
over the bow railing, intact except for an overgrowth of
"rusticles" draping it like mutated Spanish moss.



(CONTINUED)
3.
CONTINUED:


TIGHT ON THE EYEPIECE MONITOR of a video camcorder. Brock
Lovett's face fills the BLACK AND WHITE FRAME.

LOVETT
It still gets me every time.

The image pans to the front viewport, looking over Anatoly's
shoulder, to the bow railing visible in the lights beyond.
Anatoly turns.

ANATOLY
Is just your guilt because of
estealing from the dead.

CUT WIDER, to show that Brock is operating the camera
himself, turning it in his hand so it points at his own
face.

LOVETT
Thanks, Tolya. Work with me, here.

Brock resumes his serious, pensive gaze out the front port,
with the camera aimed at himself at arm's length.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
It still gets me every time... to see
the sad ruin of the great ship sitting
here, where she landed at 2:30 in the
morning, April 15, 1912, after her long
fall from the world above.

Anatoly rolls his eyes and mutters in Russian. Bodine
chuckles and watches the sonar.

BODINE
You are so full of shit, boss.

7 Mir Two drives aft down the starboard side, past the huge
anchor while Mir One passes over the seemingly endless
forecastle deck, with its massive anchor chains still laid
out in two neat rows, its bronze windlass caps gleaming.
The 22 foot long subs are like white bugs next to the
enormous wreck.

LOVETT (V.O.)
Dive nine. Here we are again on the
deck of Titanic... two and a half
miles down. The pressure is three
tons per square inch, enough to
crush us like a freight train going
over an ant if our hull fails.
(MORE)


(CONTINUED)
4.
CONTINUED: (2)
LOVETT (V.O.) (cont'd)
These windows are nine inches thick and
if they go, it's sayonara in two
microseconds.

8 Mir Two lands on the boat deck, next to the ruins of the
Officer's Quarters. Mir One lands on the roof of the deck
hous nearby.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
Right. Let's go to work.

Bodine slips on a pair of 3-D electronic goggles, and grabs
the joystick controls of the ROV.

9 OUTSIDE THE SUB, the ROV, a small orange and black robot
called SNOOP DOG, lifts from its cradle and flies forward.

BODINE (V.O.)
Walkin' the dog.

SNOOP DOG drives itself away from the sub, paying out its
umbilical behind it like a robot yo-yo. Its twin stereo-
video cameras swivel like insect eyes. The ROV descends
through an open shaft that once was the beautiful First
Class Grand Staircase.

Snoop Dog goes down several decks, then moves laterally into
the First Class Reception Room.

SNOOP'S VIDEO POV, moving through the cavernous interior.
The remains of the ornate handcarved woodwork which gave the
ship its elegance move through the floodlights, the lines
blurred by slow dissolution and descending rusticle
formations. Stalactites of rust hang down so that at times
it looks like a natural grotto, then the scene shifts and
the lines of a ghostly undersea mansion can be seen again.

MONTAGE STYLE, as Snoop passes the ghostly images of
Titanic's opulence:

10 A grand piano in amazingly good shape, crashed on its
side against a wall. The keys gleam black and white in the
lights.

11 A chandelier, still hanging from the ceiling by its
wire... glinting as Snoop moves around it.

12 Its lights play across the floor, revealing a champagne
bottle, then some WHITE STAR LINE china... a woman's high-
top "granny shoe". Then something eerie: what looks like a
child's skull resolves into the porcelain head of a doll.

Snoop enters a corridor which is much better preserved.
Here and there a door still hangs on its rusted hinges.

(CONTINUED)
5.
CONTINUED: (3)

An ornate piece of molding, a wall sconce... hint at
the grandeur of the past.

13 THE ROV turns and goes through a black doorway, entering
room B-52, the sitting room of a "promenade suite", one of
the most luxurious staterooms on Titanic.

BODINE (CONT'D)
I'm in the sitting room. Heading for
bedroom B-54.

LOVETT
Stay off the floor. Don't stir it up
like you did yesterday.

BODINE
I'm tryin' boss.

Glinting in the lights are the brass fixtures of the near-
perfectly preserved fireplace. An albino Galathea crab
crawls over it. Nearby are the remains of a divan and a
writing desk. The Dog crosses the ruins of the once elegant
room toward another DOOR. It squeezes through the
doorframe, scraping rust and wood chunks loose on both
sides. It moves out of a cloud of rust and keeps on going.

BODINE (CONT'D)
I'm crossing the bedroom.

The remains of a pillared canopy bed. Broken chairs, a
dresser. Through the collapsed wall of the bathroom, the
porcelain commode and bathtub took almost new, gleaming in
the dark.

LOVETT
Okay, I want to see what's under
that wardrobe door.

SEVERAL ANGLES as the ROV deploys its MANIPULATOR ARMS and
starts moving debris aside. A lamp is lifted, its ceramic
colors as bright as they were in 1912.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
Easy, Lewis. Take it slow.

Lewis grips a wardrobe door, lying at an angle in a corner,
and pulls it with Snoop's gripper. It moves reluctantly in
a cloud of silt. Under it is a dark object. The silt
clears and Snoop's cameras show them what was under the
door...

BODINE
Ooohh daddy-oh, are you seein' what I'm
seein'?

(CONTINUED)
6.
CONTINUED: (4)


CLOSE ON LOVETT, watching his moniteors. By his expression
it is like he is seeing the Holy Grail.

LOVETT
Oh baby baby baby.
(grabs the mike)
It's payday, boys.

ON THE SCREEN, in the glare of the lights, is the object of
their quest: a small STEEL COMBINATION SAFE.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Adventure","Drama"]

Summary Mir One and Mir Two submarines navigate the wreck of the Titanic, discovering the intact bow and deploying the ROV Snoop Dog to explore the ship's interior, revealing preserved rooms, artifacts, and a combination safe, sparking excitement among the team.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Historical context
  • Use of advanced technology
Weaknesses
  • Lack of major conflict
  • Limited character development
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes of exploring the wreck of the Titanic.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and cliched, especially Lovett's lines about the pressure and the thickness of the windows.
  • The visual descriptions are detailed but could be more engaging to create a vivid picture in the reader's mind.
  • The transition between the exploration of the wreck and the discovery of the safe could be smoother and more seamless.
  • The character interactions could be more dynamic and reflective of the intense emotions that would come with such a significant discovery.
Suggestions
  • Add more suspense and tension to the scene to reflect the gravity of the situation.
  • Consider rewriting the dialogue to make it more natural and less cliched.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive experience for the reader.
  • Work on the pacing and flow of the scene to ensure a smooth transition between different elements.
  • Focus on developing the characters' reactions and interactions to make them more authentic and engaging.



Scene 3 -  Discovery of the Drawing
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
14 EXT. STERN OF DECK OF KEDYSH - DAY 14

THE SAFE, dripping wet in the afternoon sun, is lowered onto
the deck of a ship by a winch cable.

We are on the Russian research vessel AKADEMIK MISTISLAV
KELDYSH. A crowd has gathered, including most of the crew
of KELDYSH, the sub crews, and a hand-wringing money guy
named BOBBY BUELL who represents the limited partners.
There is also a documentary video crew, hired by Lovett to
cover his moment of glory.

Everyone crowds around the safe. In the background Mir Two
is being lowered into its cradle on deck by a massive
hydraulic arm. Mir One is already recovered with Lewis
Bodine following Brock Lovett as he bounds over to the safe
like a kid on Christman morning.

BODINE
Who's the best? Say it.

LOVETT
You are, Lewis.
(to the video crew)
You rolling?

CAMERAMAN
Rolling.

Brock nods to his technicians, and they set about drilling
the safe's hinges. During this operation, Brock amps the
suspense, working the lens to fill the time.

LOVETT
Well, here it is, the moment of
truth. Here's where we find out if the
time, the sweat, the money spent to
charter this ship and these subs, to
come out here to the middle of the
North Atlantic... were worth it.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
7.
14 CONTINUED: 14
LOVETT (cont'd)
If what we think is in that same... is
in that safe... it will be.

Lovett grins wolfishly in anticipation of his greatest find
yet. The door is pried loose. It clangs onto the deck.
Lovett moves closer, peering into the safe's wet interior.
A long moment then... his face says it all.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
Shit.

BODINE
You know, boss, this happened to
Geraldo and his career never
recovered.

LOVETT
(to the video cameraman)
Get that outta my face.

CUT TO:

15 INT. LAB DECK, PRESERVATION ROOM - DAY 15

Technicians are carefully removing some papers from the safe
and placing them in a tray of water to separate them safely.
Nearby, other artifacts from the stateroom are being washed
and preserved.

Buell is on the satellite phone with the INVESTORS. Lovett
is yelling at the video crew.

LOVETT
You send out what I tell you when I
tell you. I'm signing your
paychecks, not 60 minutes. Now get set
up for the uplink.

Buell covers the phone and turns to Lovett.

BUELL
The partners want to know how it's
going?

LOVETT
How it's going? It's going like a
first date in prison, whattaya
think?!

Lovett grabs the phone from Buell and goes instantly smooth.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
Hi, Dave? Barry? Look, it wasn't in
the safe...
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
8.
15 CONTINUED: 15
LOVETT (CONT'D)
no, look, don't worry about it,
there're still plenty of places it
could be... in the floor debris in the
suite, in the mother's room, in the
purser's safe on C deck...
(seeing something)
Hang on a second.

A tech coaxes some letters in the water tray to one side
with a tong... revealing a pencil (conte crayon) drawing of
a woman.

Brock looks closely at the drawing, which is in excellent
shape, though its edges have partially disintegrated. The
woman is beautiful, and beautifully rendered. In her late
teens or early twenties, she is nude, though posed with a
kind of casual modesty. She is on an Empire divan, in a
pool of light that seems to radiate outward from her eyes.
Scrawled in the lower right corner is the date: April 14
1912. And the initials JD.

The girl is not entirely nude. At her throat is a diamond
necklace with one large stone hanging in the center.

Lovett grabs a reference photo from the clutter on the lab
table. It is a period black-and-white photo of a diamond
necklace on a black velvet jeller's display stand. He holds
it next to the drawing. It is clearly the same piece... a
complex setting with a massive central stone which is almost
heart-shaped.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
I'll be God damned.

CUT TO:

16 INSERT 16

A CNN NEWS STORY: a live satellite feed from the deck of
the Keldysh, intercut with the CNN studio.

ANNOUNCER
Treasure hunter Brock Lovett is best
known for finding Spanish gold in
sunken galleons in the Caribbean. Now
he is using deep submergence
technology to work two and a half
miles down at another famous
wreck... the Titanic. He is with us
live via satellite from a Russian
research ship in the middle of the
Atlantic... hello Brock?



(CONTINUED)
9.
16 CONTINUED: 16


LOVETT
Yes, hi, Tracy. You know, Titanic is
not just A shipwrick, Titanic is THE
shipwreck. It's the Mount Everest
of shipwrecks.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Adventure","Drama"]

Summary After retrieving the safe from the ocean, Brock Lovett and his team open it to find it empty, causing disappointment. However, their hopes are renewed when a technician discovers a pencil drawing of a woman wearing a necklace identical to the Heart of the Ocean. Lovett is excited by this discovery, believing that the necklace may still be on the ship.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Emotional impact
  • Surprising twist
Weaknesses
  • Predictable dialogue
  • Slightly cliched reactions
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds anticipation and suspense as the safe is lowered onto the deck, creating a sense of excitement for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Lovett and Bodine adds depth to their characters and hints at their dynamic, but could be further developed to enhance their relationship.
  • The discovery of the drawing of the woman with the diamond necklace is a pivotal moment in the scene, but the impact could be heightened with more emphasis on the significance of the find.
  • The transition to the CNN news story adds an interesting layer to the scene, providing context and background information for the audience.
  • There is a good balance between action, dialogue, and visual elements in the scene, creating a dynamic and engaging sequence.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict or tension within the characters to increase the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • Explore the relationship between Lovett and Bodine further to add depth to their interactions and motivations.
  • Build on the discovery of the drawing by delving into the history and significance of the woman depicted, connecting it more closely to the overall narrative.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience.



Scene 4 -  Ojai Pottery Surprise
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
17 INT. HOUSE / CERAMICS STUDIO 17

PULL BACK from the screen, showing the CNN report playing on
a TV set in the living room of a small rustic house. It is
full of ceramics, figurines, folk art, the walls crammed
with drawings and paintings... things collected over a
lifetime.

PANNING to show a glassed-in studio attached to the house.
Outside it is a quiet morning in Ojai, California. In the
studio, amid incredible clutter, an ANCIENT WOMAN is
throwing a pot on a potter's wheel. The liquid red clay
covers her hands... hands that are gnarled and age-spotted,
but still surprisingly strong and supple. A woman in her
early forties assists her.

LOVETT (V.O.)
I've planned this expedition for
three years, and we're out here
recovering some amazing things...
things that will have enormous
historical and educational value.

CNN REPORTER (V.O.)
But it's no secret that education is not
your main purpose. You're a treasure
hunter. So what is the treasure
you're hunting?

LOVETT (V.O.)
I'd rather show you than tell you, and
we think we're very close to doing
just that.

The old woman's name is ROSE CALVERT. Her face is a
wrinkled mass, her body shapeless and shrunken under a one-
piece African-print dress.

But her eyes are just as bright and alive as those of a
young girl.

Rose gets up and walks into the living room, wiping pottery
clay from her hands with a rag. A Pomeranian dog gets up
and comes in with her.


(CONTINUED)
10.
17 CONTINUED: 17


The younger soman, LIZZY CALVERT, rushes to help her.

ROSE
Turn that up please, dear.

REPORTER (V.O.)
Your expedition is at the center of a
storm of controversy over salvage rights
and even ethics. Many are calling you
a grave robber.

TIGHT ON THE SCREEN.

LOVETT
Nobody called the recovery of the
artifacts from King Tut's tomb grave
robbing. I have museum-trained
experts here, making sure this stuff is
preserved and catalogued properly.
Look at this drawing, which was found
today...

The video camera pans off Brock to the drawing, in a tray of
water. The image of the woman with the necklace FILLS
FRAME.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
...a piece of paper that's been
underwater for 84 years... and my
team are able to preserve it
intanct. Should this have remained
unseen at the bottom of the ocean for
eternity, when we can see it and enjoy it
now...?

ROSE is galvanized by this image. Her mouth hangs open in
amazement.

ROSE
I'll be God damned.

CUT TO:

18 EXT. KELDYSH DECK - NIGHT 18

CUT TO KELDYSH. The Mir subs are being launched. Mir Two
is already in the water, and Lovett is getting ready to
climb into Mir One when Bobby Buell runs up to him.

BUELL
There's a satellite call for you.



(CONTINUED)
11.
18 CONTINUED: 18


LOVETT
Bobby, we're launching. See these
submersibles here, going in the
water? Take a message.

BUELL
No, trust me, you want to take this
call.

CUT TO:

19 INT. LAB DECK / KELDYSH - NIGHT 19

Beull hands Lovett the phone, pushing down the blinking
line. The call is from Rose and we see both ends of the
conversation. She is in her kitchen with a mystified Lizzy.

LOVETT
This is Brock Lovett. What can I do for
you, Mrs... ?

BUELL
Rose Calvert.

LOVETT
... Mrs. Calvert?

ROSE
I was just wondering if you had
found the "Heart of the Ocean" yet, Mr.
Lovett.

Brock almost drops the phone. Bobby sees his shocked
expression...

BUELL
I told you you wanted to take this
call.

LOVETT
(to Rose)
Alright. You have my attention,
Rose. Can you tell me who the woman in
the picture is?

ROSE
Oh yes. The woman in the picture is me.

CUT TO:
12.



20 EXT. OCEAN - DAY 20

SMASH CUT TO AN ENORMOUS SEA STALLION HELICOPTER thundering
across the ocean. PAN 180 degrees as it roars past. There
is no land at either horizon. The Keldysh is visible in the
distance.

CLOSE ON A WINDOW of the monster helicopter. Rose's face is
visible, looking out calmly.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Adventure"]

Summary In her Ojai ceramics studio, elderly potter Rose Calvert, assisted by Lizzy, observes a CNN report about the controversy surrounding Brock Lovett's expedition. Rose has a personal connection to the expedition, as evidenced by a photo of a woman identical to the one discussed on TV. She inquires about the 'Heart of the Ocean,' hinting at a surprising revelation about her past.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Revelatory moments
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the previous scenes, which were focused on the exploration of the Titanic wreck, to a house in Ojai, California with an elderly woman named Rose Calvert throwing a pot on a potter's wheel. This sudden shift in setting and characters may be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Lovett and the CNN reporter playing on the TV feels forced and expository, lacking subtlety and naturalness. It could be more engaging and realistic to enhance the authenticity of the scene.
  • The visual description of Rose as an ancient woman with bright and alive eyes is contradictory and confusing. It's important to maintain consistency in character descriptions to avoid confusion.
  • The introduction of Rose's character and her connection to the Heart of the Ocean necklace feels rushed and lacks depth. More context and background could be provided to make her involvement in the story more compelling and believable.
  • The transition from the house in Ojai to the Keldysh deck with the Mir subs being launched is abrupt and disjointed, making the scene feel disjointed and lacking in smooth continuity.
Suggestions
  • Consider introducing Rose's character in a more gradual and organic way, providing more context and depth to her connection to the Heart of the Ocean necklace.
  • Work on smoother transitions between scenes to maintain a cohesive flow and avoid jarring shifts in setting and characters.
  • Refine the dialogue between characters to make it more natural, engaging, and reflective of their personalities and motivations.
  • Provide more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting of each location, creating a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and intrigue, leading to a more impactful reveal of Rose's connection to the necklace and her interaction with Lovett.



Scene 5 -  Rose Arrives on the Keldysh
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
21 EXT. KELDYSH - DAY 21

Brock and Bodine are watching Mir 2 being sweng over the
side to start a dive.

BODINE
She's a goddamned liar! A nutcase.
Like that... what's her name? That
Anastasia babe.

BUELL
They're inbound.

Brock nods and the three of them head forward to meet the
approaching helo.

BODINE
She says she's Rose DeWitt Bukater,
right? Rose DeWitt Bukater died on the
Titanic. At the age of 17. If she'd've
lived, she'd be over a hundred now.

LOVETT
A hundred and one next month.

BODINE
Okay, so she's a very old goddamned
liar. I traced her as far back as the
20's... she was working as an actress
in L.A. An actress. Her name was
Rose Dawson. Then she married a
guy named Calvert, moved to Cedar
Rapids, had two kids. Now Calvert's
dead, and from what I've heard Cedar
Rapids is dead.

The Sea Stallion approaches the ship, BG, forcing Brock to
yell over the rotors.




(CONTINUED)
13.
21 CONTINUED: 21


LOVETT
And everyobody who knows about the
diamond is supposed to be dead... or on
this ship. But she knows about it.
And I want to hear what she has to say.
Got it?

CUT TO:

22 EXT. KELDYSH HELIPAD 22

IN A THUNDERING DOWNBLAST the helicopter's wheels bounce
down on the helipad.

Lovett, Buell and Bodine watch as the HELICOPTER CREW CHIEF
hands out about ten suitcases, and then Rose is lowered to
the deck in a wheelchair by Keldysh crewmen. Lizzy, ducking
unnecessarily under the rotor, follows her out, carrying
FREDDY the Pomeranian. The crew chief hands a puzzled
Keldysh crewmember a goldfish bowl with several fish in it.
Rose does not travel light.

HOLD ON the incongruous image of this little old lady,
looking impossibly fragile amongst all the high tech gear,
grungy deck crew and gigantic equipment.

BODINE
S'cuse me, I have to go check our
supply of Depends.

CUT TO:

23 INT. ROSE'S STATEROOM / KELDYSH - DAY 23

Lizzy is unpacking Rose's things in the small utilitarian
room. Rose is placing a number of FRAMED PHOTOS on the
bureau, arranging them carefully next to the fishbowl.
Brock and Bodine are in the doorway.

LOVETT
Is your stateroom alright?

ROSE
Yes. Very nice. Have you met my
granddaughter, Lizzy? She takes
care of me.

LIZZY
Yes. We met just a few minutes ago,
grandma. Remember, up on deck?

ROSE
Oh, yes.

(CONTINUED)
14.
23 CONTINUED: 23


Brock glances at Bodine... oh oh. Bodine rolls his eyes.
Rose finishes arranging her photographs. We get a general
glimpse of them: the usual snapshots... children and
grandchildren, her late husband.

ROSE (CONT'D)
There, that's nice. I have to have my
pictures when I travel. And Freddy
of course.
(to the Pomeranian)
Isn't that right, sweetie.

LOVETT
Would you like anything?

ROSE
I should like to see my drawing.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

Summary Brock, Bodine, and Buell witness the arrival of the Mir 2 submersible and discuss Rose's questionable background. Lovett insists on hearing her story. Rose arrives on the ship via helicopter, accompanied by her granddaughter and dog. She settles into her stateroom and expresses a desire to see her drawing. Bodine remains skeptical, while Lovett remains determined to learn the truth.
Strengths
  • Intriguing plot development
  • Realistic character reactions
  • Mysterious and suspenseful tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Character changes not fully realized
Critique
  • The scene provides important background information about Rose's identity and history, but it lacks a sense of urgency or tension.
  • The dialogue between the characters feels a bit expository and could be more engaging and dynamic.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story.
  • The visual elements of the scene, such as Rose's fragile appearance among high-tech gear, could be enhanced to create a more visually compelling moment.
  • The scene could benefit from more emotional depth and character development to make the interactions more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more conflict or tension to the scene to keep the audience engaged.
  • Work on making the dialogue more natural and engaging, with subtext and layers to the characters' interactions.
  • Explore different ways to transition between scenes to maintain a seamless flow.
  • Enhance the visual elements to create a more visually striking and memorable moment.
  • Focus on developing the emotional depth of the characters to make the scene more impactful and meaningful.



Scene 6 -  Retrieving the Past
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
24 INT. LAB DECK, PRESERVATION AREA 24

Rose looks at the drawing in its tray of water, confronting
herself across a span of 84 years. Until they can figure
out the best way to preserve it, they have to keep it
immersed. It sways and ripples, almost as if alive.

TIGHT ON Rose's ancient eyes, gazing at the drawing.

25 FLASHCUT of a man's hand, holding a conte crayon deftly
creating a shoulder and the shape of her hair with two
efficient lines.

26 THE WOMAN'S FACE IN THE DRAWING, dancing under the
water.

27 A FLASHCUT of a man's eyes, just visible over the top of
a sketching pad. They look up suddenly right into the LENS.
Soft eyes, but fearlessly direct.

28 Rose smiles, remembering. Brock has the reference photo
of the necklace in his hand.

LOVETT
Louis the Sixteenth wore a fabulous
stone, called the Blue Diamond of the
Crown, which disappeared in 1792,
about the time Louis lost everything
from the neck up. The theory goes
that the crown diamond was chopped
too... recut into a heart-like
shape... and it became Le Coeur de la
Mer. The Heart of the Ocean.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
15.
24 CONTINUED: 24
LOVETT (cont'd)
Today it would be worth more than the
Hope Diamond.

ROSE
It was a dreadful, heavy thing.
(she points at the drawing)
I only wore it this once.

LIZZY
You actually believe this is you,
grandma?

ROSE
It is me, dear. Wasn't I a hot
number?

LOVETT
I tracked it down through insurance
records... and old claim that was
settled under terms of absolute
secrecy. Do you know who the
claiment was, Rost?

ROSE
Someone named Hockley, I should
imagine.

LOVETT
Nathan Hockley, right. Pittsburgh
steel tycoon. For a diamond
necklace his son Caledon Hockley
bought in France for his fiancee...
you... a week before he sailed on
Titanic. And the claim was filed
right after the sinking. So the
diamond had to've gone down with the
ship.
(to Lizzy)
See the date?

LIZZY
April 14, 1912.

LOVETT
If your grandma is who she says she is,
she was wearing the diamond the day
Titanic sank.

LOVETT (CONT'D)
(to Rose)
And that makes you my new best
friend. I will happily compensate you
for anything you can tell us that
will lead to its recovery.

(CONTINUED)
16.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24


ROSE
I don't want your money, Mr. Lovett. I
know how hard it is for people who care
greatly for money to give some away.

BODINE
(skeptical)
You don't want anything?

ROSE
(indicating the drawing)
You may give me this, if anything I
tell you is of value.

LOVETT
Deal.
(crossing the room)
Over here are a few things we've
recovered from your staterooms.

Laid out on a worktable are fifty or so objects, from
mundane to valuable. Rose, shrunken in her chair, can
barely see over the table top. With a trembling hand she
lifts a tortoise shell hand mirror, inlaid with mother of
pearl. She caresses it wonderingly.

ROSE
This was mine. How extraordinary! It
looks the same as the last time I saw
it.

She turns the mirror over and looks at her ancient face in
the cracked glass.

ROSE (CONT'D)
The reflection has changed a bit.

She spies something else, a silver and moonstone art-nouveau
brooch.

ROSE (CONT'D)
My mother's brooch. She wanted to go
back for it. Caused quite a fuss.

Rose picks up an ornate art-nouveau HAIR COMB. A jade
butterfly takes flight on the ebony handle of the comb. She
turns it slowly, remembering. We can see that Rose is
experiencing a rush of images and emotions that have lain
dormant for eight decades as she handles the butterfly comb.




(CONTINUED)
17.
24 CONTINUED: (3) 24


LOVETT
Are you ready to go back to Titanic?

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Mystery","Adventure"]

Summary Rose reminisces through personal artifacts recovered from the Titanic while Lovett seeks information about the Heart of the Ocean necklace.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing mystery
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Limited action
Critique
  • The scene effectively sets up the anticipation and mystery surrounding the Heart of the Ocean necklace, drawing the audience in with the discovery of the drawing and its connection to Rose.
  • The dialogue between the characters, especially Lovett and Rose, is engaging and reveals important information about the necklace and its history.
  • The visual elements, such as the drawing in the tray of water and the recovered artifacts, add depth and intrigue to the scene.
  • Rose's reminiscing about the objects from her stateroom and the emotional connection she feels towards them adds a layer of nostalgia and poignancy to the scene.
  • The conflict between Lovett's desire to find the necklace and Rose's reluctance to accept compensation creates tension and adds complexity to the interaction.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the emotional impact of Rose's memories and connection to the recovered artifacts.
  • Explore deeper into Rose's emotional journey as she revisits her past through the recovered items, allowing for more character development and depth.
  • Provide more context or backstory on the characters' motivations and relationships to further engage the audience.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing to build suspense and intrigue around the mystery of the Heart of the Ocean necklace.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene allows for moments of reflection and introspection, balancing the dialogue with visual storytelling.



Scene 7 -  Witnessing the Titanic's Tragedy
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
29 INT. IMAGING SHACK / KELDYSH 29

It is a darkened room lined with TV monitors. IMAGES OF THE
WRECK fill the screens, fed from Mir One and Two, and the
two ROVs, Snoop Dog and DUNCAN.

BODINE
Live from 12,000 feet.

ROSE stares raptly at the screens. She is enthraled by one
in particular, an image of the bow railing. It obviously
means something to her. Brock is studying her reactions
carefully.

BODINE
The bow's struck in the bottom like an
axe, from the impact. Here... I can run
a simulation we worked up on this
monitor over here.

Lizzy turns the chair so Rose can see the screen of Bodine's
computer. As he is calling up the file, he keeps talking.

BODINE
We've put together the world's
largest database on the Titanic.
Okay, here...

LOVETT
Rose might not want to see this,
Lewis.

ROSE
No, no. It's fine. I'm curious.

Bodine starts a COMPUTER ANIMATED GRAPHIC on the screen,
which parallels his rapid-fire narration.

BODINE
She hits the berg on the starboard
side and it sort of bumps along...
punching holes like a morse code... dit
dit dit, down the side. Now she's
flooding in the




(CONTINUED)
18.
29 CONTINUED: 29


BODINE (CONT'D)
forward compartments... and the
water spills over the tops of the
bulkheads, going aft. As her bow is
going down, her stern is coming
up... slow at first... and then
faster and faster until it's lifting all
that weight, maybe 20 or 30 thousand
tons... out of the water and the
hull can't deal... so

SKRTTT!!

(making a sound in time with the animation) ... it splits!
Right down to the keel, which acts like a big hinge. Now
the bow swings down and the stern falls back level...
but the weight of the bow pulls the stern up vertical, and
then the bow section detaches, heading for the bottom.
The stern bobs like a cork, floods and goes under about
2:20 a.m. Two hours and forty minutes after the
collision.

The animation then follows the bow section as it sinks.
Rose watches this clinical dissection of the disaster
without emotion.

BODINE
The bow pulls out of its dive and
planes away, almost a half a mile,
before it hits the bottom going
maybe 12 miles an hour. KABOOM!

The bow impacts, digging deeply into the bottom, the
animation now follows the stern.

BODINE
The stern implodes as it sinks, from the
pressure, and rips apart from the
force of the current as it falls,
landing like a big pile of junk.
(indicating the simulation)
Cool huh?

ROSE
Thank you for that fine forensic
analysis, Mr. Bodine. Of course the
experience of it was somewhat less
clinical.

LOVETT
Will you share it with us?



(CONTINUED)
19.
CONTINUED:


Her eyes go back to the screens, showing the sad ruins far
below them.

A VIEW from one of the subs TRACKING SLOWLY over the boat
deck. Rose recognizes one of the Wellin davits, still in
place. She hears ghostly waltz music. The faint and
echoing sound of an officer's voice, English accented,
calling "Women and children only".

30 FLASH CUTS of screaming faces in a running crowd.
Pandemonium and terror. People crying, praying, kneeling on
the deck. Just impressions... flashes in the dark.

31 Rose Looks at another monitor. SNOOP DOG moving down a
rusted, debris-filled corridor. Rose watches the endless
row of doorways sliding past, like dark mouths.

32 IMAGE OF A CHILD, three years old, standing ankle deep
in water in the middle of an endless corridor. The child is
lost alone, crying.

33 Rose is shaken by the flood of memories and emotions.
Her eyes well up and she puts her head down, sobbing
quietly.

LIZZY
(taking the wheelchair)
I'm taking her to rest.

ROSE
No!

Her voice is surprisingly strong. The sweet little old lady
is gone, replaced by a woman with eyes of steel. Lovett
signals everyone to stay quiet.

LOVETT
Tell us, Rose.

She looks from screen to screen, the images of the ruined
ship.

ROSE
It's been 84 years...

LOVETT
Just tell us what you can--

ROSE
(holds up her hand for silence)
It's been 84 years... and I can
still smell the fresh paint.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
20.
CONTINUED: (2)
ROSE (cont'd)
The china had never been used. The
sheets had never been slept in.

He switches on the minirecorder and sets it near her.

ROSE
Titanic was called the Ship of
Dreams. And it was. It really
was...

As the underwater camera rises past the rusted bow rail, WE
DISSOLVE / MATCH MOVE to that same railing in 1912...

MATCH DISSOLVE:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Amidst the Keldysh's imaging shack, Rose, a century-old Titanic survivor, joins researchers reviewing footage of the sunken wreck. As the haunting underwater images depict the ship's catastrophic collision with an iceberg, Rose's firsthand account brings the past to life. She vividly recalls the grand ship's glory and the harrowing chaos that unfolded during its sinking, painting a somber yet awe-inspiring portrait of this maritime tragedy.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Historical accuracy
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
Critique
  • The scene provides a detailed and clinical analysis of the Titanic disaster, which may come across as emotionally detached given the gravity of the event.
  • The transition from the forensic analysis to Rose's emotional reaction feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • There is a shift in Rose's character from a sweet old lady to a woman with eyes of steel, which could be developed more gradually to make the transformation more believable.
  • The scene includes flash cuts of screaming faces and pandemonium, which may feel disjointed and could be integrated more seamlessly into the narrative.
  • The emotional impact of Rose's flood of memories and emotions could be heightened by building up to this moment with more subtle cues throughout the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider balancing the clinical analysis with more emotional depth to capture the full impact of the Titanic disaster on Rose and the audience.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different elements of the scene to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative flow.
  • Develop Rose's character transformation more gradually to make it feel more authentic and impactful.
  • Integrate the flash cuts of chaos and terror more organically into the scene to enhance the sense of urgency and emotion.
  • Build up to Rose's emotional outburst by subtly hinting at her internal turmoil throughout the scene for a more powerful and cohesive emotional arc.



Scene 8 -  Boarding the Titanic
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
34 EXT. SOUTHAMPTON DOCK - DAY 34

SHOT CONTINUES IN A FLORIOUS REVEAL as the gleaming white
superstructure of Titanic rises mountainously beyond the
rail, and above that the buff-colored funnels stand against
the sky like the pillars of a great temple. Crewmen move
across the deck, dwarfed by the awesome scale of the
steamer.

Southanmpton, England, April 10, 1912. It is almost nnon on
ailing day. A crowd of hundreds blackens the pier next to
Titanic like ants on a jelly sandwich.

IN FG a gorgeous burgundy RENAULT TOURING CAR swings into
frame, hanging from a loading crane. It is lowered toward
HATCH #2.

On the pier horsedrawn vehicles, motorcars and lorries move
slowly through the dense throng. The atmosphere is one of
excitement and general giddiness. People embrace in tearful
farewells, or wave and shout bon voyage wishes to friends
and relatives on the decks above.

A white RENAULT, leading a silver-gray DAIMLER-BENZ, pushes
through the crowd leaving a wake in the press of people.
Around the handsome cars people are streaming to board the
ship, jostling with hustling seamen and stokers, porters,
and barking WHITE STAR LINE officials.

The Renault stops and the LIVERIED DRIVER scurries to open
the door for a YOUNG WOMAN dressed in a stunning white and
purple outfit, with an enormous feathered hat. She is 17
years old and beautiful, regal of bearing, with piercing
eyes.

It is the girl in the drawing. ROSE. She looks up at the
ship, taking it in with cool appraisal.



(CONTINUED)
21.
34 CONTINUED: 34


ROSE
I don't see what all the fuss is
about. It doesn't look any bigger
than the Mauretania.

A PERSONAL VALET opens the door on the other side of the car
for CALEDON HOCKLEY, the 30 year old heir to the elder
Hockley's fortune. "Cal" is handsome, arrogant and rich
beyond meaning.

CAL
You can be blase about some things,
Rose, but not about Titanic. It's
over a hundred feet longer than
Mauretania, and far more luxurious. It
has squash courts, a Parisian cafe...
even Turkish baths.

Cal turns and fives his hand to Rose's mother, RUTH DEWITT
BUKATER, who descends from the touring car being him. Ruth
is a 40ish society empress, from one of the most prominent
Philadelphia families. She is a widow, and rules her
household with iron will.

CAL
Your daughter is much too hard to
impress, Ruth.
(indicating a puddle)
Mind your step.

RUTH
(gazing at the leviathan)
So this is the ship they say is
unsinkable.

CAL
It is unsinkable. God himself
couldn't sink this ship.

Cal speaks with the pride of a host providing a special
experience.

This entire entourage of rich Americans is impeccably turned
out, a quintessential example of the Edwardian upper class,
complete with servants. Cal's VALET, SPICER LOVEJOY, is a
tall and impassive, dour as an undertaker. Behind him
emerge TWO MAIDS, personal servants to Ruth and Rose.

A WHITE STAR LINE PORTER scurries toward them, harried by
last minute loading.




(CONTINUED)
22.
34 CONTINUED: (2) 34


PORTER
Sir, you'll have to check your
baggage through the main terminal,
round that way--

Cal nonchalantly hands the man a fiver. The porter's eyes
dilate. Five pounds was a monster tip in those days.

CAL
I put my faith in you, good sir.

CAL (CONT'D)
(curtly, indicating Lovejoy)
See my man.

PORTER
Yes, sir. My pleasure, sir.

Cal never tires of the effect of money on the unwashed
masses.

LOVEJOY
(to the porter)
These trunks here, and 12 more in the
Daimler. We'll have all this lot up
in the rooms.

The White Star man looks stricken when he sees the enormous
pile of steamer trunks and suitcases loading down the second
car, including wooden crates and steel safe. He whistles
frantically for some cargo-handlers nearby who come running.

Cal breezes on, leaving the minions to scramble. He quickly
checks his pocket watch.

CAL
We'd better hurry. This way,
ladies.

He indicates the way toward the first class gangway. They
move into the crowd. TRUDY BOLT, Rose's maid, hustles
behind them, laden with bags of her mistress's most recent
purchases... things too delicate for the baggage handlers.

Cal leads, weaving between vehicles and handcarts, hurrying
passengers (mostly second class and steerage) and well-
wishers. Most of the first class passengers are avoiding
the smelly press of the dockside crowd by using an elevated
boarding bridge, twenty feet above.




(CONTINUED)
23.
34 CONTINUED: (3) 34


They pass a line of steerage passengers in their coarse wool
and tweeds, queued up inside movable barriers like cattle in
a chute. A HEALTH OFFICER examines their heads one by one,
checking scalp and eyelashes for lice.

They pass a well-dressed young man cranking the handle of a
wooden Biograph "cinematograph" camera mounted on a tripod.
NANIEL MARVIN (whose father founded the Biograph Film
Studio) is filming his young bride in front of the Titanic.
MARY MARVIN stands stiffly and smiles, self conscious.

DANIEL
Look up at the ship, darling, that's it.
You're amazed! You can't believe
how big it is! Like a mountain.
That's great.

Mary Marvin, without an acting fiber in her body, does a bad
Clara Bow pantomime of awe, hands raised.

Cal is jostled by two yelling steerage boys who shove past
him. And he is bumped again a second later by the boys'
father.

CAL
Steady!!

MAN
Sorry squire!

The Cockney father pushes on, after his kids, shouting.

CAL
Steerage swine. Apparently missed his
annual bath.

RUTH
Honestly, Cal, if you weren't
forever booking everything at the
last instant, we could have gone
through the terminal instead of
running along the dock like some
squalid immigrant family.

CAL
All part of my charm, Ruth. At any
rate, it was my darling fiancee's
beauty rituals which made us late.

ROSE
You told me to change.



(CONTINUED)
24.
34 CONTINUED: (4) 34


CAL
I couldn't let you wear black on
sailing day, sweetpea. It's bad
luck.

ROSE
I felt like black.

Cal guides them out of the path of a horse-drawn wagon
loaded down with two tons of OXFORD MARMALADE, in wooden
cases, for Titanic's Victualling Department.

CAL
Here I've pulled every string I
could to book us on the grandest
ship in history, in her most
luxurious suites... and you act as if
you're going to your execution.

Rose looks up as the hull of Titanic looms over them...a
great iron wall, Bible black and sever. Cal motions her
forward, and she enters the gangway to the D Deck doors with
a sense of overwhelming dread.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
It was the ship of dreams... to
everyone else. To me it was a slave
ship, taking me back to America in
chains.

CLOSE ON CAL'S HAND IN SLOW-MOTION as it closes possessively
over Rose's arm. He escorts her up the gangway and the
black hull of Titanic swallows them.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
Outwardly I was everything a well
brought up girl should be. Inside, I
was screaming.

35 CUT TO a SCREAMING BLAST from the mighty triple steam
horns on Titanic's funnels, bellowing their departure
warning.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Historical Drama","Romance"]

Summary As Rose, Cal, and their entourage prepare to board the Titanic, Rose expresses her disdain for the ship, while Cal assures her of its unparalleled luxury. Amidst the excitement, Cal's arrogance clashes with a steerage family, highlighting the stark class divide. Overwhelmed by the ship's grandeur, Rose grapples with trepidation as she embarks on her fateful journey.
Strengths
  • Atmospheric setting
  • Character introductions
  • Foreshadowing
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Slightly predictable character dynamics
Critique
  • The scene sets the stage effectively with a detailed description of the bustling Southampton dock and the grandeur of the Titanic, creating a vivid visual image for the audience.
  • The introduction of the characters, especially Rose, Cal, and Ruth, provides insight into their personalities and relationships, setting up potential conflicts and tensions.
  • The dialogue between the characters helps establish their dynamics and hints at underlying tensions, such as Cal's possessiveness over Rose and Ruth's disapproval of Cal's behavior.
  • The scene effectively conveys the contrasting emotions of excitement and dread, adding depth to the characters' experiences and foreshadowing potential conflicts to come.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the bustling dock, the luxurious cars, and the interactions between characters, enhances the immersive quality of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the interactions between the characters to further develop their relationships and motivations.
  • Explore opportunities to foreshadow future conflicts or plot developments through subtle hints or interactions in the scene.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by delving deeper into the internal thoughts and feelings of the characters, especially Rose, as she navigates her conflicting emotions.
  • Ensure that the dialogue remains authentic to the time period and the characters' backgrounds, adding richness and depth to their interactions.
  • Consider incorporating sensory details to further immerse the audience in the setting and enhance the atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 9 -  Titanic Ticket Win
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
36 EXT. SOUTHAMPTON DOCKS / TITANIC - DAY 36

A VIEW OF TITANIC from several blocks away, towering above
the terminal buildings like the skyline of a city. The
steamer's whistle echoes across Southampton.




(CONTINUED)
25.
36 CONTINUED: 36


PULL BACK, revealing that we were looking through a window,
and back further to show the smoky inside of a pub. It is
crowded with dockworkers and ship;s crew.

Just inside the window, a poker game is in progress. FOUR
MEN, in working class clothes, play a very serious hand.

JACK DAWSON and FABRIZIO DE ROSSI, both about 20, exchange a
glance as the other two players argue in Swedish. Jack is
American, a lanky drifter with his hair a little long for
the standards of the times. He is also unshaven, and his
clothes are rumpled from sleeping in them. He is an artist,
and has adopted the bohemian style of art scene in Paris.
He is also very self-possessed and sure-footed for 20,
having lived on his own since 15.

The TWO SWEDES continue their sullen argument, in Swedish.

OLAF
(subtitled)
You stupid fishhead. I can't
believe you bet our tickets.

SVEN
(subtitled)
You lost our money. I'm just trying to
get it back. Now shutup and take a card.

JACK
(jaunty)
Hit me again, Sven.

Jack takes the card and slips it into his hand.

ECU JACK'S EYES. They betray nothing.

CLOSE ON FABRIZIO licking his lips nervously as he refuses a
card.

ECU STACK in the middle of the table. Bills and coins from
four counrties. This has been going on for a while.
Sitting on top of the money are two 3RD CLASS TICKETS for
RMS TITANIC.

The Titanic's whistle blows again. Final warning.

JACK
The moment of truth boys.
Somebody's life's about to change.

Fabrizio puts his cards down. So do the Swedes. Jack holds
his close.


(CONTINUED)
26.
36 CONTINUED: (2) 36


JACK
Let's see... Fabrizio's got niente.
Olaf, you've got squat. Sven, uh
oh... two pair... mmm.
(turns to his friend)
Sorry Fabrizio.

FABRIZIO
What sorry? What you got? You lose my
money?? Ma va fa'n culo testa di cazzo--

JACK
Sorry, you're not gonna see your
mama again for a long time...

He slaps a full house down on the table.

JACK
(grinning)
'Cause you're goin' to America!!
Full house boys!

FABRIZIO
Porca Madonna!! YEEAAAAA!!!

The table explodes into shouting in several languages. Jack
rakes in the money and the tickets.

JACK
(to the Swedes)
Sorry boys. Three of a kind and a
pair. I'm high and you're dry
and...
(to Fabrizio)
... we're going to--

FABRIZIO/JACK

L'AMERICA!!!

Olaf balls up one huge farmer's fist. We think he's going
to clobber Jack, but he swings round and punches Sven, who
flops backward onto the floor and sits there, looking
depressed. Olaf forgets about Jack and Fabrizio, who are
dancing around, and goes into a rapid harangue of his stupid
cousin.

Jack kisses the tickets, then jumps on Fabrizio's back and
rides him around the pub. It's like they won the lottery.




(CONTINUED)
27.
CONTINUED:


JACK
Goin' home... to the land o' the
free and the home of the real hot-
dogs! On the TITANIC!! We're
ridin' in high style now! We're
practically goddamned royalty,
ragazzo mio!!

FABRIZIO
You see? Is my destinio!! Like I
told you. I go to l'America!! To be
a millionaire!!

FABRIZIO (CONT'D)
(to pubkeeper)
Capito?? I go to America!!

PUBKEEPER
No, mate. Titanic go to America. In
five minutes.

JACK
Shit!! Come on, Fabri!
(grabbing their stuff)
Come on!!
(to all, grinning)
It's been grand.

They run for the door.

PUBKEEPER
'Course I'm sure if they knew it was you
lot comin', they'd be pleased to wait!

CUT TO:

37 OMITTED 37
Genres: ["Drama","Adventure"]

Summary Jack Dawson and Fabrizio De Rossi win two third-class tickets to America on the Titanic in a poker game. They celebrate wildly and run for the ship as it prepares to depart.
Strengths
  • Engaging plot development
  • Distinct character introductions
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of significant character development
Critique
  • The scene lacks depth and emotional resonance, especially considering the gravity of the situation (boarding the Titanic).
  • The dialogue feels a bit cliched and lacks authenticity, especially in the interactions between the characters.
  • The character development is minimal, with Jack and Fabrizio coming across as one-dimensional and stereotypical.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the readers.
  • The transition from the poker game to the Titanic departure feels abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Add more emotional depth to the characters, especially considering the significance of boarding the Titanic.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it more authentic and reflective of the characters' personalities.
  • Develop the characters of Jack and Fabrizio further to make them more nuanced and relatable.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive setting for the readers.
  • Consider a smoother transition between the poker game and the Titanic departure to improve the flow of the scene.



Scene 10 -  Boarding the Titanic
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
38 EXT. TERMINAL - TITANIC 38

Jack and Fabrizio, carrying everything they own in the world
in the kit bags on their shoulders, sprint toward the pier.
They tear through milling crowds next to the terminal.
Shouts go up behind them as they jostle slow-moving
gentlemen. They dodge piles of luggage, and weave through
groups of people. They burst out onto the pier and Jack
comes to a dead stop... staring at the cast wall of the
ship's hull, towering seven stories above the wharf and over
an eighth of a mile long. The Titanic is monstrous.

Fabrizio runs back and grabs Jack, and they sprint toward
the third class gangway aft, at E deck.


(CONTINUED)
28.
38 CONTINUED: 38

They reach the bottom of the ramp just as SIXTH OFFICER
MOODY detaches it at the top. It starts to swing down from
the gangway doors.

JACK
Wait!! We're passengers!

Flushed and panting, he waves the tickets.

MOODY
Have you been through the inspection
queue?

JACK
(lying cheerfully)
Of course! Anyway, we don't have
lice, we're Americans.
(glances at Fabrizio)
Both of us.

MOODY
(testy)
Right, come aboard.

Moody has QUARTERMASTER ROWE reattach the gangway. Jack and
Fabrizio come aboard. Moody glances at the tickets, then
passes Jack and Fabrizio through to Rowe. Rowe looks at the
names on the tickets to enter them in the passenger list.

ROWE
Gundersen. And...
(reading Fabrizio's)
Gundersen.

He hands the tickets back, eyeing Fabrizio's Mediterranean
looks suspiciously.

JACK
(grabbing Fabrizio's arm)
Come on, Sven.

Jack and Fabrizio whoop with victory as they run down the
white-painted corridero... grinning from ear to ear.

JACK
We are the luckiest sons of bitches in
the world!

CUT TO:

39 OMITTED 39
29.



40 EXT. TITANIC AND DOCK - DAY 40

The mooring lines, as big around as a man's arm, are dropped
into the water. A cheer goes up on the pier as SEVEN TUGS
pull the Titanic away from the quay.

CUT TO:

41 EXT. AFT WELL DECK / POOP DECK - DAY 41

JACK AND FABRIZIO burst through a door onto the aft well
deck. TRACKING WITH THEM as they run across the deck and up
the steel stairs to the poop deck. They get to the rail and
Jack starts to yell and wave to the crowd on the dock.

FABRIZIO
You know somebody?

JACK
Of course not. That's not the
point.
(to the crowd)
Goodbye! Goodbye!! I'll miss you!

Grinning, Fabrixio joins in, adding his voice to the swell
of voices, feeling the exhilaration of the moment.

FABRIZIO
Goodbye! I will never forget you!!

CUT TO:

42 OMITTED 42

EXT. SOUTHAMPTON DOCK - DAY

The crowd of cheering well-wishers waves heartily as a black
wall of metal moves past them. Impossibly tiny figues wave
back from the ship's rails. Titanic gathers speed.

CUT TO:

44 EXT. RIVER TEST - DAY 44

IN A LONG LENS SHOT the prow of Titanic FILLS FRAME behind
the lead tug, which is dwarfed. The bow wave spreads before
the mighty plow of the liner's hull as it moves down the
River Test toward the English Channel.

CUT TO:
30.



45 INT. THIRD CLASS BERTHING / G-DECK FORWARD - DAY 45

Jack and Fabrizio walk down a narrow corridor with doors
lining both sides like a college dorm. Total confusion as
people argue over luggage in several languages, or wander in
confusion in the labyrinth. They pass emigrants studying
the signs over the doors, and looking up the words in phrase
books.

They find their berth. It is a modest cubicle, painted
enamel white, with four bunks. Exposed pipes overhead. The
other two guys are already there. OLAUS and BJORN
GUNDERSEN.

Jack throws his kit on one open bunk, while Fabrizio takes
the other.

BJORN
(in Swedish/ subtitled)
Where is Sven?

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Jack and Fabrizio board the Titanic by lying to the officers. They find their modest third-class berth with two other passengers, Olavius and Bjorn Gundersen. The Titanic pulls away from the dock with well-wishers waving as it sails toward the English Channel.
Strengths
  • Captures the excitement of boarding the Titanic
  • Diversity of characters and backgrounds portrayed effectively
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene lacks depth and emotional impact, especially considering the significance of boarding the Titanic for the first time.
  • The dialogue feels rushed and lacks authenticity, especially in the interaction with the officer about going through the inspection queue.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the characters' emotions and reactions as they board the Titanic, which could have added depth to the scene.
  • The transition between the excitement of winning the tickets and boarding the Titanic is abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid picture of the setting and characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more details about the characters' thoughts and feelings as they approach the Titanic, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Slow down the pace of the dialogue to allow for more natural interactions and character development.
  • Explore the sensory details of the scene, such as the sights, sounds, and smells of the bustling dock and the imposing presence of the Titanic.
  • Add moments of reflection or anticipation to build tension and create a sense of anticipation for the characters and the audience.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues and gestures to convey the characters' emotions and reactions in a more nuanced way.



Scene 11 -  Aboard the Titanic
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
46 INT. SUITE B-52-56 - DAY 46

By contrast, the so-called "Millionaire Suite" is in the
Empire style, and comprises two bedrooms, a bath, WC,
wardrobe room, and a large sitting room. In addition there
is a private 50 foot promenade deck outside.

A room service waiter pours champagne into a tulip glass of
orange juice and hands the Bucks Fizz to Rose. She is
looking through her new paintings. There is a Monet of
water lilies, a Degas of dancers, and a few abstract works.
They are all unknown paintings... lost works.

Cal is out on the covered deck, which has potted trees and
vines on trellises, talking through the doorway to Rose in
the sitting room.

CAL
Those mud puddles were certainly a
waste of money.

ROSE
(looking at a cubist portrait)
You're wrong. They're fascinating.
Like in a dream... there's truth
without logic. What's his name
again... ?
(reading off the canvas)
Picasso.


(CONTINUED)
31.
46 CONTINUED: 46


CAL
(coming into the sitting room)
He'll never amount to a thing, trust me.
At least they were cheap.

A porter wheels Cal's private safe (which we recognize) into
the room on a handtruck.

CAL
Put that in the wardrobe.

47 IN THE BEDROOM Rose enters with the large Degas of the
dancers. She sets it on the dresser, near the canopy bed.
Trudy is already in there, hanging up some of Rose's
clothes.

TRUDY
It smells so brand new. Like they
built it all just for us. I mean...
just to think that tonight, when I
crawl between the sheets, Iill be the
first--

Cal appears in the doorway of the bedroom.

CAL
(looking at Rose)
And when I crawl between the sheets
tonight, I'll still be the first.

TRUDY
(blushing at the innuendo)
S'cuse me, Miss.

She edges around Cal and makes a quick exit. Cal comes up
behind Rose and puts his hands on her shoulders. An act of
possession, not intimacy.

CAL
The first and only. Forever.

Rose's expression shows how bleak a prospect this is for
her, now.

CUT TO:

48 EXT. CHERBOURG HARBOR, FRANCE - LATE DUSK 48

Titanic stands silhouetted against a purple post-sunset sky.
She is lit up like a floating palace, and her thousand
portholes reflect in the calm harbor waters. The 150 foot
tender Nomadic lies-to alongside, looking like a rowboat.


(CONTINUED)
32.
48 CONTINUED: 48

The lights of a Cherbourg harbor complete the postcard
image.

CUT TO:

49 INT. FIRST CLASS RECEPTION/ D-DECK 49

Entering the first class reception room from the tender are
a number of prominent passengers. A BROAD-SHOULDERED WOMAN
in an enormous feathered hat comes up the gangway, carrying
a suitcase in each hand, a spindly porter running to catch
up with her to take the bags.

WOMAN
Well, I wasn't about to wait all day for
you, sonny. Take 'em the rest of the
way if you think you can manage.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
At Cherbourg a woman came aboard
named Margaret Brown, but we all
called her Molly. History would
call her the Unsinkable Molly Brown. Her
husband had struck gold someplace
out west, and she was what mother called
"new money".

At 45, MOLLY BROWN is a tough talking straightshooter who
dresses in the finery of her genteel peers but will never be
one of them.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
By the next afternoon we had made our
final stop and we were steaming west
from the coast of Ireland, with nothing
out ahead of us but ocean...

CUT TO:

50 OMITTED 50

51 EXT. BOW - DAY 51

The ship glows with the warm creamy light of late afternoon.
Jack and Fabrizio stand right at the bow gripping the
curving railing so familiar from images of the wreck. Jack
leans over, looking down fifty feet to where the prow cuts
the surface like a knife, sending up two glassy sheets of
water.

CUT TO:
33.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Rose and Cal are in their suite on the Titanic, with Rose admiring her new paintings and Cal making a possessive move on her. The scene then shifts to Cherbourg harbor where Molly Brown boards the ship, and finally to the bow where Jack and Fabrizio are standing, looking out at the ocean.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Effective setting description
Weaknesses
  • Lack of overt conflict
  • Limited character growth in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene lacks depth and emotional connection between the characters, particularly between Rose and Cal. Their interactions feel superficial and lack authenticity.
  • The dialogue between Cal and Rose is cliched and lacks subtlety, making their relationship seem one-dimensional.
  • The visual descriptions are limited and do not create a vivid picture of the setting or the characters' emotions.
  • The scene does not effectively convey the tension or conflict between Rose and Cal, making their dynamic feel flat and uninteresting.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the power dynamics and underlying emotions in the relationship between Rose and Cal.
Suggestions
  • Add more depth to the interactions between Rose and Cal by exploring their conflicting emotions and motivations.
  • Enhance the dialogue to make it more nuanced and reflective of the characters' inner thoughts and feelings.
  • Provide more detailed visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the scene.
  • Introduce more subtle cues and gestures to convey the tension and power dynamics between Rose and Cal.
  • Consider adding layers to the characters' interactions to create a more engaging and emotionally resonant scene.



Scene 12 -  The Titanic Departs
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
52 INT. / EXT. TITANIC - SERIES OF SCENES - DAY 52

ON THE BRIDGE, CAPTAIN SMITH turns from the binnacle to

FIRST OFFICER WILLIAM MURDOCH.

CAPTAIN SMITH
Take her to sea Mister Murdoch.
Let's stretch her legs.

Murdoch moves the engine telegraph lever to ALL AHEAD FULL.

53 NOW BEGINS a kind of musical/visual setpiece... an ode
to the great ship. The music is rhythmic, surging forward,
with a soaring melody that addresses the majesty and
optimism of the ship of dreams.

IN THE ENGINE ROOM the telegraph clangs and moves to "All
Ahead Full".

CHIEF ENGINEER BELL

All ahead full!

On the catwalk THOMAS ANDREWS, the shipbuilder, watches
carefully as the engineers and greasers scramble to adjust
valves. Towering above them are the twin RECIPROCATING
engines, four stories tall, their ten-foot-long connecting
rods surging up and down with the turning of the massive
crankshafts. The engines thunder like the footfalls of
marching giants.

54 IN THE BOILER ROOMS the STOKERS chant a song as they
hurl coal into the roaring furnaces. The "black gang" are
covered with sweat and coal dust, their muscles working like
part of the machinery as they toil in the hellish glow.

55 UNDERWATER the enormous bronze screws chop through the
water, hurling the steamer forward and churning up a vortex
of foam that lingers for miles behind the juggernaut ship.
Smoke pours from the funnels as--

56 The riven water flares higher at the bow as the ship's
speeds builds. THE CAMERA SWEEPS UP the prow to find Jack,
the wind streaming through his hair and--

57 Captain Smith steps out of the enclosed bridge onto the
wing. He stands with his hands on the rail, looking every
bit the storybook picture of a Captain... a great patriarch
of the sea.
34.



FIRST OFFICER MURDOCH

Twenty one knots, sir!

SMITH
She's got a bone in her teeth now, eh,
Mr. Murdoch.

Smith accepts a cup of tea from FIFTH OFFICER LOWE. He
contentedly watches the white V of water hurled outward from
the bows like an expression of his own personal power. They
are invulnerable, towering over the sea.

58 AT THE BOW Jack and Fabrizio lean far over, looking
down.

In the glassy bow-wave two dolphins appear, under the water,
running fast just in front of the steel blade of the prow.
They do it for the sheer joy and exultation of motion. Jack
watches the dolphins and grins. They breach, jumping clear
of the water and then dive back, crisscrossing in front of
the bow, dancing ahead of the juggernaut.

FABRIZIO looks forward across the Atlantic, staring into the
sunsparkles.

FABRIZIO
I can see the Statue of Liberty
already.
(grinning at Jack)
Very small... of course.

THE CAMERA ARCS around them, until they are framed against
the sea.

NOW WE PULL BACK, across the forecastle deck. Rising, as we
continue back, and the ships rolls endlessly forward
underneath. Over the bridge wing, along the boat deck until
her funnels come INTO FRAME besides us and march past like
the pillars of heaven, one by one. We pull back and up,
until we are looking down the funnels, and the people
strolling on the decks and standing at the rail become
antlike.

And still we pull back until the great lady is seen whole in
a gorgeous aerial portrait, black and severe in her majesty.

ISMAY (V.O.)
She is the largest moving object
ever made by the hand of man in all
history...

CUT TO:
35.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Romance"]

Summary The scene begins on the Titanic as she is prepared to depart. Captain Smith orders the ship to sea, and First Officer William Murdoch moves the engine telegraph lever to "All Ahead Full." The ship begins to move forward, and the scene cuts to various parts of the ship, including the engine room, the boiler rooms, and the bow, where Jack and Fabrizio watch two dolphins swimming in front of the ship. The scene ends with a shot of the entire ship from an aerial perspective, with Ismay's voiceover stating that she is "the largest moving object ever made by the hand of man in all history."
Strengths
  • Beautiful visual and musical setpiece
  • Effective portrayal of the Titanic's grandeur
  • Nostalgic and hopeful tone
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Minimal character development
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or purpose, as it jumps between different areas of the ship without a cohesive narrative thread.
  • The transition from the bridge to the engine room to the boiler rooms to underwater visuals is disjointed and lacks a smooth flow.
  • The musical/visual setpiece feels out of place and disrupts the pacing of the scene, detracting from the overall storytelling.
  • There is a lack of character development or interaction in this scene, making it feel more like a technical description of the ship's operations.
  • The dialogue is minimal and lacks depth, failing to engage the audience or add emotional resonance to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider focusing on a specific character or group of characters to provide a more engaging and relatable narrative.
  • Streamline the visuals and transitions to create a more coherent and visually appealing sequence.
  • Introduce more meaningful dialogue or interactions between characters to add depth and emotional impact to the scene.
  • Explore the internal thoughts and emotions of the characters to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the audience.
  • Consider incorporating elements of tension, conflict, or character development to drive the scene forward and keep the audience invested.



Scene 13 -  The Grand Unveiling
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
59 INT. PALM COURT RESTAURANT - DAY 59

CLOSE ON J. BRUCE ISMAY, Managing Director of White Star
Line.

ISMAY
...and our master shipbuilder, Mr.
Andrews here, designed her from the
keel plates up.

He indicates a handsome 39 year old Irish gentlemen to his
right, THOMAS ANDREWS, of Harland and Wolf Shipbuilders.

WIDER, showing the group assembled for lunch the next day.
Ismay seated with Cal, Rose, Ruth, Molly Brown and Thomas
Andrews in the Palm Court, a beautiful sunny spot enclosed
by high arched windows.

ANDREWS
(disliking the attention)
Well, I may have knocked her
together, but the idea was Mr.
Ismay's. He envisioned a steamer so
grand in scale, and so luxurious in its
appointments, that its supremacy would
never be challenged. And here she is...
(he slaps the table)
...willed into solid reality.

MOLLY
Why're ships always bein' called
"she"? Is it because men think half the
women around have big sterns and should
be weighed in tonnage?
(they all laugh)
Just another example of the men
settin' the rules their way.

The waiter arrives to take orders. Rose lights a cigarette.

RUTH
You know I don't like that, Rose.

CAL
She knows.

Cal takes the cigarette from her and stubs it out.

CAL
(to the waiter)
We'll both have the lamb. Rare,
with a little mint sauce.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
36.
59 CONTINUED: 59
CAL (cont'd)
(to Rose, after the waiter
moves away)
You like lamb, don't you sweetpea?

Molly is watching the dynamic between Rose, Cal and Ruth.

MOLLY
So, you gonna cut her meat for her too
there, Cal?
(turning to Ismay)
Hey, who came up with the name
Titanic? You, Bruce?

ISMAY
Yes, actually. I wanted to convey
sheer size. And size means
stability, luxury... and safety--

ROSE
Do you know of Dr. Freud? His ideas
about the male preoccupation with
size might be of particular interest to
you, Mr. Ismay.

Andrews chockes on his breadstick, suppressing laughter.

RUTH
My God, Rose, what's gotten into--

ROSE
Excuse me.

She stalks away.

RUTH
(mortified)
I do apologize.

MOLLY
She's a pistol, Cal. You sure you can
handle her?

CAL
(tense but feigning unconcern)
Well, I may have to start minding
what she reads from now on.

CUT TO:

60 EXT. POOP DECK / AFTER DECKS - DAY 60

Jack sits on a bench in the sun. Titanic's wake spreads out
behind him to the horizon.


(CONTINUED)
37.
60 CONTINUED: 60

He has his knees pulled up, supporting a leather bound
sketching pad, his only valuable possession. With conte
crayon he draws rapidly, using sure strokes. An emigrant
from Manchester named CARTMELL has his 3 year old daughter
CORA standing on the lower rung of the rail. She is
leaned back against his beer barrel of a stomach, watching
the seagulls.

THE SKETCH captures them perfectly, with a great sense of
the humanity of the moment. Jack is good. Really good.
Fabrizio looks over Jack's shoulder. He nods
appreciatively.

TOMMY RYAN, a scowling young Irish emigrant, watches as a
crewmember comes by, walking three small dogs around the
deck. One of them, a BLACK FRENCH BULLDOG, is among the
ugliest creatures on the planet.

TOMMY
That's typical. First class dogs
come down here to take a shit.

Jack looks up from his sketch.

JACK
That's so we know where we rank in the
scheme of things.

TOMMY
Like we could forget.

Jack glances across the well deck. At the aft railing of B
deck promenade stands ROSE, in a long yellow dress and white
gloves.

CLOSE ON JACK, unable to take his eyes off of her. They are
across from each other, about 60 feet apart, with the well
deck like a valley between them. She on her promontory, he
on his much lower one. She stares down at the water.

He watches her unpin her elaborate hat and take it off. She
looks at the frilly absurd thing, then tosses it over the
rail. It sails far down to the water and is carried away,
astern. A spot of yellow in the vast ocean. He is riveted
by her. She looks like a figure in a romantic novel, sad and
isolated.

Fabrizio taps Tommy and they both look at Jack gazin at
Rose. Fabrizio and Tommy grin at each other.

Rose turns suddenly and looks right at Jack. He is caught
staring, but he doesn't look away. She does, but then looks
back. Their eyes meet across the space of the well deck,
across the gulf between worlds.

(CONTINUED)
38.
60 CONTINUED: (2) 60


Jack sees a man (Cal) come up behind her and take her arm.
She jerks her arm away. They argue in pantomime. She
storms away, and he goes after her, disappearing along the A-
deck promenade. Jack stares after her.

TOMMY
Forget it, boyo. You'd as like have
angels fly out o' yer arse as get
next to the likes o' her.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary At a luncheon in the grand Palm Court Restaurant, the Titanic's managing director and master shipbuilder showcase the ship's grandeur, while Molly Brown questions societal norms and Rose challenges the emphasis on size. Despite the celebratory atmosphere, Rose's rebellious spirit creates tension among the group, and artist Jack becomes captivated by her. The scene ends with Jack's admiration for Rose countered by a reminder of the class divide between them.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Romantic tension
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development
  • Moderate conflict level
Critique
  • The scene in the Palm Court Restaurant lacks a clear focus and purpose. The dialogue between the characters feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters or the story.
  • The interactions between the characters, especially Rose, Cal, and Ruth, come off as superficial and cliched. There is a lack of subtlety in the way the possessive behavior of Cal towards Rose is portrayed, making it feel contrived and predictable.
  • The transition from the Palm Court Restaurant to the Poop Deck feels abrupt and disjointed, disrupting the flow of the scene and leaving the audience disoriented.
  • The visual descriptions in the scene are limited, failing to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience. The lack of attention to detail in the visual elements detracts from the overall impact of the scene.
  • The dialogue lacks depth and complexity, failing to engage the audience on an emotional or intellectual level. The interactions between the characters feel superficial and do not contribute to the development of the story or the characters.
Suggestions
  • Focus on developing more nuanced and authentic interactions between the characters, especially in the Palm Court Restaurant. Add depth to the dialogue and explore the underlying emotions and motivations of the characters.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow. Smooth out the transition between the Palm Court Restaurant and the Poop Deck to maintain continuity and coherence.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions in the scene to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the audience. Pay attention to details that can help bring the environment to life and enhance the overall atmosphere of the scene.
  • Work on refining the dialogue to make it more meaningful and impactful. Focus on creating authentic and compelling conversations that reveal the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters, adding depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider revisiting the character dynamics and relationships in the scene to make them more authentic and relatable. Develop the interactions between the characters to create a more engaging and emotionally resonant scene.



Scene 14 -  Rose's Inner Turmoil
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 6
61 INT. FIRST CLASS DINING SALOON - NIGHT 61

SLOWLY PUSHING IN ON ROSE as she sits, flanked by people in
heated conversation. Cal and Ruth are laughing together,
while on the other side LADY DUFF-GORDON is holding forth
animatedly. We don't hear what they are saying. Rose is
staring at her plate, barely listening to the
inconsequential babble around her.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
I saw my whole life as if I'd
already lived it... an endless
parade of parties and cotillions,
yachts and polo matches... always the
same narrow people, the same mindless
chatter. I felt like I was standing at
a great precipice, with no one to pull
me back, no one who cared... or even
noticed.

ANGLE BENEATH TABLE showing Rose's hand, holding a tiny fork
from her crab salad. She pokes the crab-fork into the skin
of her arm, harder and harder until it draws blood.

CUT TO:

62 INT. CORRIDOR / B DECK - NIGHT 62

Rose walks along the corridor. A steward coming the other
way greets her, and she nods with a slight smile. She is
perfectly composed.

CUT TO:

63 INT. ROSE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 63

She enters the room. Stands in the middle, staring at her
reflection in the large vanity mirror. Just stands there,
then--



(CONTINUED)
39.
63 CONTINUED: 63


With a primal, anguished cry she claws at her throat,
ripping off her pearl necklace, which explodes across the
room. In a frenzy she tears at herself, her clothes, her
hair... then attacks the room. She flings everything off
the dresser and it flies clattering against the wall. She
hurls a handmirror against the vanity, cracking it.

CUT TO:

64 EXT. A DECK PROMENADE, AFT - NIGHT 64

Rose runs along the B deck promenade. She is dishevelled,
her hair flying. She is crying, her cheeks streaked with
tears. But also angry, furious! Shaking with emotions she
doesn't understand... hatred, self-hatred, desperation. A
strolling couple watch her pass. Shocked at the emotional
display in public.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Isolated and emotionally distraught, Rose retreats to her bedroom and self-destructs. She then runs along the deck in a state of turmoil.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Intense portrayal of inner turmoil
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Minimal dialogue
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys Rose's inner turmoil and emotional distress through her actions and reactions.
  • The use of visual cues, such as Rose poking her arm with a fork and then clawing at her throat, adds depth to the character's emotional state.
  • The contrast between the composed exterior and the chaotic interior of Rose's emotions is well portrayed.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and sets up a strong emotional arc for Rose.
  • The pacing and progression of the scene help to create a sense of urgency and emotional intensity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue to further explore Rose's thoughts and feelings.
  • Provide more context or background information to enhance the understanding of Rose's emotional state.
  • Explore different camera angles or shots to visually represent Rose's emotional turmoil in a more dynamic way.
  • Consider incorporating subtle visual cues or symbolism to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Ensure that the resolution of Rose's emotional outburst is clear and impactful, leading to further character development.



Scene 15 -  Titanic Rescue
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
65 EXT. POOP DECK - NIGHT 65

Jack is kicked back on one of the benches gazing at the
stars blazing gloriously overhead. Thinking artist thoughts
and smoking a cigarette.

Hearing something, he turns as Rose runs up the stairs from
the well deck. They are the only two on the stern deck,
except for QUARTERMASTER ROWE, twenty feet above them on the
docking bridge catwalk. She doesn't see Jack in the
shadows, and runs right past him.

TRACKING WITH ROSE as she runs across the deserted fantail.
Her breath hitches in an occasional sob, which she
suppresses. Rose slams against the base of the stern
flagpole and clings there, panting. She stares out at the
black water.

Then starts to climb over the railing. She has to hitch her
long dress way up, and climbing is clumsy. Moving
methodically she turns her body and gets her heels on the
white-painted gunwale, her back to the railing, facing out
toward blackness. 60 feet below her, the massive propellers
are churning the atlantin into white foam, and a ghostly
wake trails off toward the horizon.

IN A LOW ANGLE, we see Rose standing like a figurehead in
reverse. Below her are the huge letters of the name
"TITANIC".

She leans out, her arms straightening... looking down
hypnotized, into the vortex below her. Her dress and hair
are lifted by the wind of the ship's movement.

(CONTINUED)
40.
65 CONTINUED: 65

The only sound, above the rush of water below, is the
flutter and snap of the big Union Jack right above her.

JACK
Don't do it.

She whips her head around at the sound of his voice. It
takes a second for her eyes to focus.

ROSE
Stay back! Don't come any closer!

Jack sees the tear tracks on her cheeks in the faint glow
from the stern running lights.

JACK
Take my hand. I'll pull you back in.

ROSE
No! Stay where you are. I mean it.
I'll let go.

JACK
No you won't.

ROSE
What do you mean no I won't? Don't
presume to tell me what I will and
will not do. You don't know me.

JACK
You would have done it already. Now
come on, take my hand.

Rose is confused now. She can't see him very well through
the tears, so she wipes them with one hand, almost losing
her balance.

ROSE
You're distracting me. Go away.

JACK
I can't. I'm involved now. If you let
go I have to jump in after you.

ROSE
Don't be absurd. You'll be killed.

He takes off his jacket.

JACK
I'm a good swimmer.

He starts unlacing his left shoe.

(CONTINUED)
41.
65 CONTINUED: (2) 65


ROSE
The fall alone would kill you.

JACK
It would hurt. I'm not saying it
wouldn't. To be honest I'm a lot
more concerned about the water being so
cold.

She looks down. The reality factor of what she is doing is
sinking in.

ROSE
How cold?

JACK
(taking off his left shoe)
Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees
over.

He starts unlacing his right shoe.

JACK
Ever been to Wisconsin?

ROSE
(perplexed)
No.

JACK
Well they have some of the coldest
winters around, and I grew up there,
near Chippewa Falls. Once when I was
a kid me and my father were ice- fishing
out on Lake Wissota... ice- fishing's
where you chop a hole in the--

ROSE
I know what ice fishing is!

JACK
Sorry. Just... you look like kind of
an indoor girl. Anyway, I went through
some thin ice and I'm tellin' ya,
water that cold... like that right down
there... it hits you like a thousand
knives all over your body. You can't
breath, you can't think... least not
about anything but the pain.
(takes off his other shoe)
Which is why I'm not looking forward to
jumping in after you. But like I said,
I don't see a choice.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
42.
65 CONTINUED: (3) 65
JACK (cont'd)
I guess I'm kinda hoping you'll come
back over the rail and get me off
the hook here.

ROSE
You're crazy.

JACK
That's what everybody says. But
with all due respect, I'm not the one
hanging off the back of a ship.

He slides one step closer, like moving up on a spooked
horse.

JACK
Come on. You don't want to do this.
Give me your hand.

Rose stares at this madman for a long time. She looks at
his eyes and they somehow suddenly seem to fill her
universe.

ROSE
Alright.

She unfastens one hand from the rail and reaches it around
toward him. He reaches out to take it, firmly.

JACK
I'm Jack Dawson.

ROSE
(voice quavering)
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dawson.

Rose starts to turn. Now that she has decided to live, the
height is terrifying. She is overcome by vertigo as she
shifts her footing, turning to face the ship. As she starts
to climb, her dress gets in the way, and one foot slips off
the edge of the deck.

She plunges, letting out a piercing SHRIEK. Jack, gripping
her hand, is jerked toward the rail. Rose barely grabs a
lower rail with her free hand.

QUARTERMASTER ROWE, up on the docking bridge hears the
scream and heads for the ladder.

ROSE
HELP! HELP!!

JACK
I've got you. I won't let go.

(CONTINUED)
43.
65 CONTINUED: (4) 65


Jack holds her hand with all his strength, bracing himself
on the railing with his other hand. Rose tries to get some
kind of foothold on the smooth hull. Jack tries to lift her
bodily over the railing. She can't get any footing in her
dress and evening shoes, and she slips back. Rose SCREAMS
again.

Jack, awkwardly clutching Rose by whatever he can get a grip
on as she flails, gets her over the railing. They fall
together onto the deck in a tangled heap, spinning in such a
way that Jack winds up slightly on top of her.

Rowe slides down the ladder from the docking bridge like
it's a fire drill and sprints across the fantail.

ROWE
Here, what's all this?!

Rowe runs up and pulls Jack off of Rose, revealing her
dishevelled and sobbing on the deck. Her dress is torn, and
the hem is pushing up above her knees, showing one ripped
stocking. He looks at Jack, the shaggy steerage man with
his jacket off, and the first class lady clearly in
distress, and starts drawing conclusions. Two seamen chug
across the deck to join them.

ROWE
(to Jack)
Here you, stand back! Don't move an
inch!
(to the seamen)
Fetch the Master at Arms.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Adventure"]

Summary Rose stands on the railing of the Titanic, contemplating suicide. Jack sees her and tries to talk her down. She eventually agrees to take his hand, but loses her footing and falls overboard. Jack holds onto her and pulls her back up onto the deck with the help of Quartermaster Rowe. Rowe detains Jack, suspecting something untoward has happened between him and Rose.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue in moments of tension
Critique
  • The scene starts with a dramatic and intense moment of Rose contemplating suicide by jumping off the Titanic.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose is emotional and impactful, revealing their inner thoughts and struggles.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a sense of tension and urgency in the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys Rose's emotional turmoil and Jack's determination to save her.
  • The interaction between Rowe, Jack, and Rose adds another layer of tension and conflict to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or thoughts from Rose to further explore her emotional state and decision-making process.
  • Enhance the visual elements to create a more immersive experience for the audience, such as focusing on the height and danger of the situation.
  • Explore the dynamic between Jack and Rose further to deepen their connection and the stakes of the scene.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to evoke the coldness of the water and the fear of the situation.
  • Ensure a smooth transition to the next scene to maintain the momentum and emotional impact of this intense moment.



Scene 16 -  Confrontation on the Poop Deck
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
66 EXT. POOP DECK - NIGHT 66

A few minutes later. Jack is being detained by the burly
MASTER AT ARMS, the closest thing to a cop on board. He is
handcuffing Jack. Cal is right in front of Jack, and
furious. He has obviously just rushed out here with Lovejoy
and another man, and none of them have coats over their
black tie evening dress. The other man is COLONEL ARCHIBALD
GRACIE, a mustachioed blowhard who still has his brandy
snifter. He offers it to Rose, who is hunched over crying
on a bench nearby, but she waves it away. Cal is more
concerned with Jack. He grabs him by the lapels.

CAL
What made you think you could put
your hands on my fiancee?! Look at me,
you filth! What did you think you were
doing?!

(CONTINUED)
44.
66 CONTINUED: 66


ROSE
Cal, stop! It was an accident.

CAL
An accident?!

ROSE
It was... stupid really. I was
leaning over and I slipped.

Rose looks at Jack, getting eye contact.

ROSE
I was leaning way over, to see
the... ah... propellers. And I
slipped and I would have gone
overboard... and Mr. Dawson here
saved me and he almost went over
himself.

CAL
You wanted to see the propellers?

GRACIE
(shaking his head)
Women and machinery do not mix.

MASTER AT ARMS
(to Jack)
Was that the way of it?

Rose is begging him with her eyes not to say what really
happened.

JACK
Uh huh. That was pretty much it.

He looks at Rose a moment longer. Now they have a secret
together.

COLONEL GRACIE
Well! The boy's a hero then. Good for
you son, well done!
(to Cal)
So it's all's well and back to our
brandy, eh?

Jack is uncuffed. Cal gets Rose to her feet and moving.

CAL
(rubbing her arms)
Let's get you in. You're freezing.


(CONTINUED)
45.
66 CONTINUED: (2) 66


Cal is leaving without a second thought for Jack.

GRACIE
(low)
Ah... perhaps a little something for the
boy?

CAL
Oh, right. Mr. Lovejoy. A twenty
should do it.

ROSE
Is that the going rate for saving the
woman you love?

CAL
Rose is displeased. Mmm... what to do?

Cal turns back to Jack. He appraises him condescendingly...
a steerage ruffian, unwashed and ill-mannered.

CAL
I know.
(to Jack)
Perhaps you could join us for dinner
tomorrow, to regale our group with
your heroic tale?

JACK
(looking straight at Rose)
Sure. Count me in.

CAL
Good. Settled then.

Cal turns to go, putting a protective arm around Rose. he
leans close to Gracie as they walk away.

CAL
This should be amusing.

JACK
(as Lovejoy passes)
Can I bum a cigarette?

Lovejoy smoothly draws a silver cigarette case from his
jacket and snaps it open. Jack takes a cigarette, then
another, popping it behind his ear for later. Lovejoy
lights Jack's cigarette.

LOVEJOY
You'll want to tie those.
(Jack looks at his shoes)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
46.
66 CONTINUED: (3) 66
LOVEJOY (cont'd)
Interesting that the young lady
slipped so mighty all of a sudden and
you still had time to take of your
jacket and shoes. Mmmm?

Lovejoy's expression is bland, but the eyes are cold. He
turns away to join his group.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Jack, detained after saving Rose from falling, is confronted by an enraged Cal. Rose explains the accident, but sexist remarks and suspicion escalate the tension. Jack agrees with Rose's version to protect her. Cal mockingly invites Jack to dinner, concluding the confrontation.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene is intense and dramatic, with a lot of emotional tension between the characters.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the conflict and emotions of the characters.
  • There is a good use of physical actions and gestures to enhance the scene, such as Jack taking off his jacket and shoes to save Rose.
  • The dynamics between the characters, especially the power play between Cal, Jack, and Rose, are well portrayed.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense and keeps the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional cues to show the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters.
  • Explore deeper into the motivations and backstories of the characters to add layers to their interactions.
  • Work on creating a more dynamic setting to enhance the visual impact of the scene.
  • Consider adding more subtext and nuance to the dialogue to create a richer and more complex interaction between the characters.
  • Focus on pacing and tension-building techniques to keep the audience on the edge of their seats throughout the scene.



Scene 17 -  Cal's Gift
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
67 INT. ROSE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 67

As she undresses for bed Rose sees Cal standing in her
doorway, reflected in the cracked mirror of her vanity. He
comes toward her.

CAL
(unexpectedly tender)
I know you've een melancholy, and I
don't pretent to know why.

From behind his back he hands her a large black velvet jewel
case. She takes it, numbly.

CAL
I intended to save this till the
engagement gals next week. But I
thought tonight, perhaps a reminder of
my feeling for you...

Rose slowly opens the box. Inside is the necklace... "HEART
OF THE OCEAN" in all its glory. It is huge... a malevolent
blue stone glittering with an infinity of scalpel-like inner
reflections.

ROSE
My God... Cal. Is it a--

CAL
Daimond. Yes it is. 56 carats.

He takes the necklace and during the following places it
around her throat. He turns her to the mirror, staring
behind her.

CAL
It was once worn by Louis the
Sixteenth. They call it Le Coeur de la
Mer, the--

ROSE
The Heart of the Ocean. Cal,
it's... it's overwhelming.


(CONTINUED)
47.
67 CONTINUED: 67


He gazes at the image of the two of them in the mirror.

CAL
It's for royalty. And we are
royalty.

His fingers caress her neck and throat. He seems himself to
be disarmed by Rose's elegance and beauty. His emotion is,
for the first time, unguarded.

CAL
There's nothing I couldn't give you.
There's nothing I'd deny you if you
would deny me. Open your heart to me,
Rose.

CAMERA begins to TRACK IN ON ROSE. Closer and closer,
during the following:

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
Of course his gift was only to
reflect light back onto himself, to
illuminate the greatness that was
Caledon Hockley. It was a cold
stone... a heart of ice.

Finally, when Rose's eyes FILL FRAM, we MORPH SLOWLY to her
eyes as the are now... transforming through 84 years of
life...

TRANSITION

68 INT. KELDYSH IMAGING SHACK 68

Without a cut the wrinkled, weathered landscape of age has
appeared around her eyes. But the eyes themselves are the
same.

OLD ROSE
After all these years, feel it
closing around my throat like a dog
collar.

THE CAMERA PUllS BACK to show her whole face.

ROSE
I can still feel its weight. If you
could have felt it, not just seen
it...

LOVETT
Well, that's the general idea, my
dear.

(CONTINUED)
48.
68 CONTINUED: 68


BODINE
So let me get this right. You were
gonna kill yourself by jumping off the
Titanic?
(he guffaws)
That's great!

LOVETT
(warningly)
Lewis...

But Rose laughs with Bodine.

BODINE
(still laughing)
All you had to do was wait two days!

Lovett, standing out of Rose's sightline, checks his watch.
Hours have passed. This process is taking too long.

LOVETT
Rose, tell us more about the
diamond. What did Hockley do with it
after that?

ROSE
Im afraid I'm feeling a little
tired, Mr. Lovett.

Lizzy picks up the cue and starts to wheel her out.

LOVETT
Wait! Can you give us something go on,
here. Like who had access to the
safe. What about this Lovejoy guy?
The valet. Did he have the
combination?

LIZZY
That's enough.

Lizzy takes her out. Rose's old hand reapears at the
doorway in a frail wave goodbye.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Cal surprises Rose with the 'Heart of the Ocean' diamond necklace in her bedroom, hoping to win her over. Older Rose reflects on the past, seeing Cal's gift as manipulative and self-serving. Rose is torn between her feelings for Cal and her own desires.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Symbolism of the Heart of the Ocean necklace
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in the romantic conflict
Critique
  • The scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension between Cal and Rose, as well as Rose's inner turmoil.
  • The dialogue between Cal and Rose is engaging and reveals their complex relationship dynamics.
  • The visual descriptions of the necklace and the interaction between Cal and Rose add depth to the scene.
  • The transition from the present-day Rose reflecting on the past to the actual scene on the Titanic is seamless and adds a layer of depth to the storytelling.
  • The use of Old Rose's voice-over narration adds a poignant and reflective tone to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Rose to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
  • Explore Cal's character further to provide more insight into his motivations and actions.
  • Include more visual cues to emphasize Rose's emotional state and the significance of the 'Heart of the Ocean' necklace.
  • Enhance the transition between past and present by incorporating more visual cues or symbolic elements.
  • Consider adding a subtle hint of foreshadowing to connect the present-day reflection with the past events on the Titanic.



Scene 18 -  Diamond Pursuit Amidst Conflict
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
69 EXT. LAUNCH AREA/KELDYSH DECK - DAY 69

As the big hydraulic jib swings one of the Mir subs out over
the water. Lovett walks as he talks with Bobby Buell, the
partners' rep. They weave among deck cranes, launch crew,
sub maintenance guys.


(CONTINUED)
49.
69 CONTINUED: 69


BUELL
The partners are pissed.

BROCK
Bobby, buy me time. I need time.

BUELL
We're running thirty thousand a day, and
we're six days over. I'm telling
you what they're telling me. The hand
is on the plug. It's starting to
pull.

BROCK
Well you tell the hand I need
another two days! Bobby, Bobby,
Bobby... we're close! I smell it. I
smell ice. She had the diamond on...
now we just have to find out where it
wound up. I just gotta work her a bit
more. Okay?

Brock turns and sees Lizy standing behind him. She has
overheard the past part of his dialogue with Buell. He goes
to her and hustles her away from Buell, toward a quite spot
on the deck.

BROCK
Hey, Lizzy. I need to talk to you for
a second.

LIZZY
Don't you mean work me?

BROCK
Look, I'm running out of time. I
need your help.

LIZZY
I'm not going to help you browbeat my
hundred and

LIZZY (CONT'D)
one year old grandmother. I came
down here to tell you to back off.

BROCK
(with undisguised desperation)
Lizzy... you gotta understand
something. I've bet it all to find the
Heart of the Ocean. I've got all my
dough tied up in this thing. My wife
even divorced me over this hunt.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
50.
69 CONTINUED: (2) 69
BROCK (cont'd)
I need what's locked inside your
grandma's memory.
(he holds out his hand)
You see this? Right here?

She looks at his hand, palm up. Empty. Cupped, as if
around an imaginary shape.

LIZZY
What?

BROCK
That's the shape my hand's gonna be
when I hold that thing. You
understand? I'm not leaving here
without it.

LIZZY
Look, Brock, she's going to do this her
way, in her own time. Don't forget,
she contacted you. She's out here
for her own reasons, God knows what
they are.

LOVETT
Maybe she wants to make peace with the
past.

LIZZY
What past? She has never once, not
once, ever said a word about being on
the Titanic until two days ago.

LOVETT
Then we're all meeting your
grandmother for the first time.

LIZZY
(looks at him hard)
You think she was really there?

LOVETT
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm a believer. She
was there.

CUT TO:

70 INT. IMAGING SHACK 70

Bodine starts the tape recorder. Rose is gazing at the
screen seeing THE LIVE FEED FROM THE WRECK--SNOOP DOG is
moving along the starboard side of the hull, heading aft.
The rectangular windows of A deck (forward) march past on
the right.

(CONTINUED)
51.
70 CONTINUED: 70


ROSE
The next day, Saturday, I remember
thinking how the sunlight felt.

DISSOLVE TO:

71 EXT. B DECK TITANIC - DAY 71

MATCH DISSOLVE from the rusting hulk to the gleaming new
Titanic in 1912, passing the end of the enclosed promenade
just as Rose walks into the sunlight right in front of us.
She is stunningly dressed and walking with purpose.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
As if I hadn't felt the sun in
years.

IT IS SATURDAY APRIL 13, 1912. Rose unlatches the gate to
go down into third class. The steerage men on the deck stop
what they're doing and stare at her.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Amidst financial pressure, Brock and Buell discuss the search for the diamond. Lizy confronts Brock, protecting her grandmother from his insistence. Despite Lizy's refusal, Brock remains determined. Rose recalls a memory, transitioning to a 1912 Titanic flashback, highlighting the contrast between past events and the present search.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing mystery
  • Complex characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Pacing could be improved in certain sections
Critique
  • The scene lacks subtlety in conveying the urgency and desperation of Brock's situation. The dialogue is too on-the-nose and could benefit from more nuanced interactions.
  • The emotional stakes are high in this scene, but they could be portrayed more effectively through actions and subtext rather than explicit dialogue.
  • The conflict between Brock and Lizzy is clear, but it could be deepened by exploring their relationship dynamics and motivations further.
  • The transition from the intense conversation between Brock and Lizzy to the imaging shack scene feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • There is potential for more visual storytelling in this scene to enhance the emotional impact and tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to the dialogue to convey the characters' emotions and conflicts subtly.
  • Show more of the characters' internal struggles through their actions and reactions rather than explicit statements.
  • Explore the power dynamics between Brock and Lizzy to add complexity to their interaction.
  • Smooth out the transition between scenes to maintain the flow and coherence of the narrative.
  • Utilize visual cues and non-verbal communication to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.



Scene 19 -  Rose Visits Jack in Third Class
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
72 INT. THIRD CLASS GENERAL ROOM 72

The social center of steerage life. It is stark by
comparison to the opulence of first class, but is a loud,
boisterous place. There are mothers with babies, kids
running between the benches yelling in several languages and
being scolded in several more. There are old women yelling,
men playing chess, girls doing needlepoint and reading dime
novels. There is even an upright piano and Tommy Ryan is
noodling around it.

Three boys, shrieking and shouting, are scrambling around
chasing a rat under the benches, trying to whomp it with a
shoe and causing general havoc. Jack is playing with 5 year
old CORA CARTMeLL, drawing funny faces together in his
sketchbook.

Fabrizio is struggling to get a conversation going with an
attractive Norwegian girl, HELGA DAHL, sitting with her
family at a table across the room.

FABRIZIO
No Italian? Some little English?

HELGA
No, no. Norwegian. Only.

Helga's eye is caught by something. Fabrizio looks, does a
take... and Jack, curious, follows their gaze to see...


(CONTINUED)
52.
72 CONTINUED: 72


Rose, coming toward them. The activity in the room stops...
a hush falls. Rose feels suddenly self-conscious as the
steerage passengers stare openly at this princess, some with
resentment, others with awe. She spots Jack and gives a
little smile, walking straight to him. He rises to meet
her, smiling.

ROSE
Hello Jack.

Fabrizio and Tommy are floored. Its like the slipper
fitting Cinderella.

JACK
Hello again.

ROSE
Could I speak to you in private?

JACK
Uh, yes. Of course. After you.

He motions her ahead and follows. Jack glances over his
shoulder, one eyebrow raised, as he walks out with her
leaving a stunned silence.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Rose enters third class, attracting attention. She approaches Jack and requests a private conversation. Jack follows her, leaving the other passengers in silence.
Strengths
  • Rich character interactions
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Subtle thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively low stakes
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed and abrupt.
  • The setting and atmosphere of the Third Class General Room are described well, but the scene lacks depth in terms of character development and interaction.
  • The introduction of new characters like Helga Dahl feels forced and unnecessary, taking away from the focus on Jack and Rose.
  • The interaction between Jack and Rose is brief and lacks emotional depth, considering the significance of their relationship in the overall story.
  • The tension and reactions of the steerage passengers towards Rose are not fully explored, missing an opportunity to add layers to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider a smoother transition into the scene by providing context or a brief recap of the previous events.
  • Focus on the dynamics between Jack and Rose, delving deeper into their connection and the impact of their interaction in the Third Class General Room.
  • Streamline the introduction of new characters to avoid distractions from the main storyline involving Jack and Rose.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the scene by adding meaningful dialogue and interactions between Jack, Rose, and the other characters present.
  • Explore the reactions of the steerage passengers towards Rose to add layers of tension and complexity to the scene.



Scene 20 -  Heartfelt Conversation on the Boat Deck
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
73 EXT. BOAT DECK - DAY 73

Jack and Rose walk side by side. They pass people reading
and talking in steamer chairs, some of whom glance curiously
at the mismatched couple. He feels out of place in his
rough clothes. They are both awkward, for different
reasons.

JACK
So, you got a name by the way?

ROSE
Rose. Rose DeWitt Bukater.

JACK
That's quite a moniker. I may hafta get
you to write that down.

There is an awkward pause.

ROSE
Mr. Dawson, I--

JACK
Jack.

(CONTINUED)
53.
73 CONTINUED: 73


ROSE
Jack... I feel like such an idiot. It
took me all morning to get up the nerve
to face you.

JACK
Well, here you are.

ROSE
Here I am. I... I want to thank you for
what you did. Not just for... for
pulling me back. But for your
discretion.

JACK
You're welcome. Rose.

ROSE
Look, I know what you must be
thinking! Poor little rich girl.
What does she know about misery?

JACK
That's not what I was thinking.
What I was thinking was... what
could have happened to hurt this
girl so much she though she had no way
out.

ROSE
I don't... it wasn't just one thing. It
was everything. It was them, it was
their whole world. And I was trapped
in it, like an insect in amber.
(in a rush)
I just had to get away... just run and
run and run... and then I was at the
back rail and there was no more ship...
even the Titanic wasn't big enough. Not
enough to get away from them. And
before I'd really though about it, I
was over the rail. I was so furious.
I'll show them. They'll be sorry!

JACK
Uh huh. They'll be sorry. 'Course
you'll be dead.

ROSE
(she lowers her head)
Oh God, I am such an utter fool.



(CONTINUED)
54.
73 CONTINUED: (2) 73


JACK
That penguin last night, is he one of
them?

ROSE
Penguin? Oh, Cal! He is them.

JACK
Is he your boyfriend?

ROSE
Worse I'm afraid.

She shows him her engagement ring. A sizable diamond.

JACK
Gawd look at that thing! You would
have gone straight to the bottom.

They laugh together. A passing steward scowls at Jack, who
is clearly not a first class passenger, but Rose just glares
at him away.

JACK
So you feel like you're stuck on a
train you can't get off 'cause
you're marryin' this fella.

ROSE
Yes, exactly!

JACK
So don't marry him.

ROSE
If only it were that simple.

JACK
It is that simple.

ROSE
Oh, Jack... please don't judge me
until you've seen my world.

JACK
Well, I guess I will tonight.

Looking for another topic, any other topic, she indicates
his sketchbook.

ROSE
What's this?


(CONTINUED)
55.
73 CONTINUED: (3) 73


JACK
Just some sketches.

ROSE
May I?

The question is rhetorical because she has already grabbed
the book. She sits on a deck chair and opens the
sketchbook. ON JACK'S sketches... each one an expressive
little bit of humanity: an old woman's hands, a sleeping
man, a father and daughter at the rail. The faces are
luminous and alive. His book is a celebration of the human
condition.

ROSE
Jack, these are quite good! Really,
they are.

JACK
Well, they didn't think too much of 'em
in Paree.

Some loose sketches fall out and are taken by the wind.
Jack scrambles after them... catching two, but the rest are
gone, over the rail.

ROSE
Oh no! Oh, I'm so sorry. Truly!

JACK
Well, they didn't think too much of 'em
in Paree.

He snaps his wrist, shaking his drawing hand in a flourish.

JACK
I just seem to spew 'em out.
Besides, they're not worth a damn
anyway.

For emphasis he throws away the two he caught. They sail
off.

ROSE
(laughing)
You're deranged!

She goes back to the book, turning a page.

ROSE
Well, well...



(CONTINUED)
56.
73 CONTINUED: (4) 73


She has come upon a series of nudes. Rose is transfixed by
the languid beauty he has created. His nudes are soulful,
real, with expressive hands and eyes. They feel more like
portraits than studies of the human form... almost
uncomfortably intimate. Rose blushes, raising the book as
some strollers go by.

ROSE
(trying to be very adult)
And these were drawn from life?

JACK
Yup. That's one of the great things
about Paris. Lots of girls willing
take their clothes off.

She studies one drawing in particular, the girl posed half
in sunlight, half in shadow. Her hands lie at her chin, one
furled and one open like a flower, languid and graceful.
The drawing is like an Alfred Steiglitz print of Georgia
O'Keefe.

ROSE
You liked this woman. You used her
several times.

JACK
She had beautiful hands.

ROSE
(smiling)
I think you must have had a love
affair with her...

JACK
(laughing)
No, no! Just with her hands.

ROSE
(looking up from the drawings)
You have a gift, Jack. You do. You see
people.

JACK
I see you.

There it is. That piercing gaze again.

ROSE
And...?




(CONTINUED)
57.
73 CONTINUED: (5) 73


JACK
You wouldn'ta jumped.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Jack and Rose walk on the boat deck, where Jack shows Rose his sketches, including intimate nudes. They have a heartfelt conversation about their backgrounds and feelings, with Rose opening up about her struggles and engagement to a man she doesn't love. They bond over their shared experiences and Jack's ability to see people, resolving the conflict of Rose feeling trapped in her engagement. The scene ends with Jack telling Rose that she wouldn't have jumped off the ship if he was there.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Character vulnerability and connection
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited action
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the awkwardness and tension between Jack and Rose, setting the stage for their complex relationship.
  • The dialogue is engaging and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters, adding depth to their interactions.
  • The visual elements, such as Jack's sketches and the interaction with the sketchbook, provide insight into Jack's character and talents.
  • The transition from light-hearted moments to more intimate and vulnerable exchanges adds layers to the scene.
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between Jack's rough exterior and Rose's privileged background, highlighting their differences.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext and nuance to the dialogue to enhance the complexity of the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • Explore deeper into Jack and Rose's backgrounds and motivations to further develop their connection and the obstacles they face.
  • Introduce more visual elements or actions that symbolize the characters' internal struggles or desires to enhance the scene's depth.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting and emotions of the characters.
  • Experiment with different pacing and structure to create more tension and suspense in the scene.



Scene 21 -  Clash of Classes and Aspirations
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
74 INT. RECEPTION ROOM / D-DECK - DAY 74

Ruth is having tea with NOEL LUCY MARTHA DYER-EDWARDES, the
COUNTESS OF ROTHES, a 35ish English blue-blood with
patirician features. Ruth sees someone coming across the
room and lowers her voice.

RUTH
Oh no, that vulgar Brown woman is
coming this way. Get up, quickly
before she sits with us.

Molly Brown walks up, greeting them cheerfully as they are
rising.

MOLLY
Hello girls, I was hoping I'd catch you
at tea.

RUTH
We're awfully sorry you missed it. The
Countess and I are just off to take the
air on the boat deck.

MOLLY
That sounds great. Let's go. I
need to catch up on the gossip.

Ruth grits her teeth as the three of them head for the Grand
Staircase to go up. TRACKING WITH THEM, as they cross the
room, the SHOT HANDS OFF to Bruce Ismay and Captain Smith at
another table.

ISMAY
So you've not lit the last four
boilers then?

SMITH
No, but we're making excellent time.

ISMAY
(impatiently)
Captain, the press knows the size of
Titanic, let them marvel at her
speed too. We must give them
something new to print. And the
maiden voyage of Titnaic must make
headlines!

(CONTINUED)
58.
74 CONTINUED: 74


SMITH
I prefer not to push the engines
until they've been properly run in.

ISMAY
Of course I leave it to your good
offices to decide what's best, but
what a glorious end to your last
crossing if we get into New York
Tuesday night and surprise them all.
(Ismay slaps his hand on the
table)
Retire with a bang, eh, E.J?

A beat. Then Smith nods, stiffy.

CUT TO:

75 EXT. A DECK PROMENADE - DAY 75

Rose and Jack stroll aft, past people lounging on deck
chairs in the slanting late-afternoon light. Stewards
scurry to serve tea or hot cocoa.

ROSE
(girlish and excited)
You know, my dream has always been to
just chuck it all and become an
artist... living in a garret, poor but
free!

JACK
(laughing)
You wouldn't last two days. There's no
hot water, and hardly ever any caviar.

ROSE
(angry in a flash)
Listen, buster... I hate caviar! And
I'm tired of people dismissing my
dreams with a chuckle and a pat on the
head.

JACK
I'm sorry. Really... I am.

ROSE
Well, alright. There's something in me,
Jack. I feel it. I don't know what it
is, whether I should be an artist,
or, I don't know... a dancer.
Like Isadora Duncan.... a wild pagan
spirit...

(CONTINUED)
59.
75 CONTINUED: 75


She leaps forward, lands deftly and whirls like a dervish.
Then she sees something ahead and her face lights up.

ROSE
...or a moving picture actress!

She takes his hand and runs, pulling him along the deck
toward--

DANIEL AND MARY MARVIN. Daniel is cranking the big wooden
movie camera as she poses stiffly at the rail.

MARVIN
You're sad. Sad, sad, sad. You've
left your lover on the shore. You may
never see him agian. Try to be sadder,
darling.

SUDDENLY Rose shoots into the shot and strikes a theatrical
pose at the rail next to Mary. Mary bursts out laughing.
Rose pulls Jack into the picture and makes him pose.

Marvin grins and starts yelling and gesturing. We see this
in CUTS, with music and no dialogue.

SERIES OF CUTS:

Rose posing tragically at the rail, the back of her hand to
her forehead.

Jack on a deck chair, pretending to be a Pasha, the two
girls pantomiming fanning him like slave girls.

Jack, on his knees, pleading with his hands clasped while
Rose, standing, turns her head in bored disdain.

Rose cranking the camera, while Daniel and Jack have a
western shoot-out. Jack wins and leers into the lens,
twirling an air mustache like Snidely Whiplash.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Ruth, a snobbish countess, faces cheerful Molly Brown while Captain Smith grapples with pressure from Bruce Ismay to push the Titanic's engines. Rose shares her artistic dreams with Jack, and they join the Marvins in filming a movie, showcasing class divides, conflicts, and the pursuit of aspirations.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective setting and atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Slightly predictable character interactions
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Ruth's tea time to Rose and Jack's conversation, which can be jarring for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Rose and Jack feels a bit forced and lacks depth, especially in the exchange about Rose's dreams of becoming an artist.
  • The interaction between Rose and Jack could benefit from more subtlety and nuance to make their connection more believable and engaging.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or development for the characters, making it feel somewhat flat and disconnected.
  • The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to create a more immersive and engaging atmosphere for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Ruth's tea time and Rose and Jack's conversation to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue between Rose and Jack to make it more authentic and reflective of their characters' personalities and motivations.
  • Explore deeper emotional layers for Rose and Jack to create a more compelling and engaging interaction between them.
  • Work on building a stronger emotional arc for the characters within the scene to create a more impactful and resonant moment.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and visually engaging experience for the audience.



Scene 22 -  Sunset Romance on the Titanic
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
76 EXT. A DECK PROMENADE / AFT - SUNSET 76

Painted with orange light, Jack and Rose lean on the A-deck
rail aft, shoulder to shoulder. The ship's lights come on.

It is a magical moment... perfect.

ROSE
So then what, Mr. Wandering Jack?



(CONTINUED)
60.
76 CONTINUED: 76


JACK
Well, then logging got to be too
much like work, so I went down to Los
Angelas to the pier in Santa Monica.
That's a swell place, they even have
a rollercoaster. I sketched
portraits there for ten cents a
piece.

ROSE
A whole ten cents?!

JACK
(not getting it)
Yeah; it was great money... I could
make a dollar a day, sometimes. But
only in summer. When it got cold, I
decided to go to Paris and see what the
real artists were doing.

ROSE
(looks at the dusk sky)
Why can't I be like you Jack? Just
head out for the horizon whenever I
feel like it.
(turning to him)
Say we'll go there, sometime... to
that pier... even if we only ever
just talk about it.

JACK
Alright, we're going. We'll drink
cheap beer and go on the
rollercoaster until we throw up and
we'll ride horses on the beach...
right in the surf... but you have to
ride like a cowboy, none of that
side-saddle stuff.

ROSE
You mean one leg on each side?
Scandalous! Can you show me?

JACK
Sure. If you like.

ROSE
(smiling at him)
I think I would.
(she looks at the horizon)
And teach me to spit too. Like a
man. Why should only men be able to
spit. It's unfair.

(CONTINUED)
61.
76 CONTINUED: (2) 76


JACK
They didn't teach you that in
finishing school? Here, it's easy.
Watch closely.

He spits. It arcs out over the water.

JACK
Your turn.

Rose screws up her mouth and spits. A pathetic little bit
of foamy spittle which mostly runs down her chin before
falling off into the water.

JACK
Nope, that was pitiful. Here, like
this... you hawk it down...
HHHNNNK!... then roll it on your
tongue, up to the front, like thith,
then a big breath and PLOOOW!! You see
the range on that thing?

She goes through the steps. Hawks it down, etc. He coaches
her through it (ad lib) while doing the steps himself. She
lets fly. So does he. Two comets of gob fly out over the
water.

JACK
That was great!

Rose turns to him, her face alight. Suddenly she blanches.
He sees her expression and turns.

RUTH, the Countess of Rothes, and Molly Brown have been
watching them hawking lugees. Rose becomes instantly
composed.

ROSE
Mother, may I introduce Jack Dawson.

RUTH
Charmed, I'm sure.

Jack has a little spit running down his chin. He doesn't
know it. Molly Brown is grinning. As Rose proceeds with
the introductions, we hear...

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
The others were gracious and curious
about the man who'd saved my life. But
my mother looked at him like an insect.
A dangerous insect which must be
squashed quickly.

(CONTINUED)
62.
76 CONTINUED: (3) 76


MOLLY
Well, Jack, it sounds like you're a
good man to have around in a sticky
spot--

They all jump as a BUGLER sounds the meal call right behind
them.

MOLLY
Why do they insist on always
announcing dinner like a damn
cavalry charge?

ROSE
Shall we go dress, mother?
(over her shoulder)
See you at dinner, Jack.

RUTH
(as they walk away)
Rose, look at you... out in the sun
with no hat. Honestly!

The Countess exits with Ruth and Rose, leaving Jack and
Molly alone on deck.

MOLLY
Son, do you have the slightest
comprehension of what you're doing?

JACK
Not really.

MOLLY
Well, you're about to go into the
snakepit. I hope you're ready.
What are you planning to wear?

Jack looks down at his clothes. Back up at her. He hadn't
thought about that.

MOLLY
I figured.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama","Historical"]

Summary Jack and Rose share a romantic and playful moment on the deck of the Titanic as the sun sets. Ruth disapproves of Jack, creating conflict between her and Rose. Molly advises Jack to be prepared for the challenges of upper-class society. The scene ends with Ruth and Rose leaving, leaving Jack and Molly alone on deck.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Romantic atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development
  • Limited external conflict
Critique
  • The scene starts with a romantic and playful interaction between Jack and Rose, which sets a light and enjoyable tone.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose is engaging and reveals their personalities and dynamic well.
  • The transition from a fun and carefree moment to the awkward encounter with Ruth and Molly adds a layer of tension and conflict to the scene.
  • The introduction of Ruth and Molly brings a shift in the atmosphere, highlighting the class differences and social expectations of the time.
  • The scene effectively conveys the discomfort and disapproval from Ruth towards Jack, adding depth to the characters and their relationships.
  • The use of Old Rose's voiceover adds insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings, enhancing the storytelling.
  • The bugler's interruption and Molly's comment about the dinner call add humor and lightness to the scene.
  • The scene ends with a sense of anticipation and curiosity about Jack's future interactions with the upper-class passengers.
  • Overall, the scene effectively balances moments of romance, tension, humor, and social commentary, creating a well-rounded and engaging sequence.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the comedic moments, such as Jack's unawareness of the spit running down his chin.
  • Explore deeper into the dynamics between Jack, Rose, Ruth, and Molly to further develop the conflicts and tensions in the scene.
  • Provide more context or background information to enrich the understanding of the characters' motivations and behaviors.
  • Consider incorporating subtle foreshadowing or hints about future events to build suspense and intrigue for the audience.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the different tones and moods in the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Continue to use voiceover or internal monologue effectively to offer insights into the characters' inner thoughts and emotions.



Scene 23 -  Jack's First Class Transformation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
77 INT. MOLLY BROWN'S STATEROOM 77

Men's suits and jackets and formal wear are strewn all over
the place. Molly is having a fine time. Jack is dressed,
except for his jacket, and Molly is tying his bow tie.



(CONTINUED)
63.
77 CONTINUED: 77


MOLLY
Don't feel bad about it. My husband
still can't tie one of these damn
things after 20 years. There you go.

She picks up a jacket off the bed and hands it to him. Jack
goes into the bathroom to put it on. Molly starts picking
up the stuff off the bed.

MOLLY
I gotta buy everything in three
sizes 'cause I never know how much
he's been eating while I'm away.

She turns and sees him, though we don't.

MOLLY
My, my, my... you shine up like a new
penny.

CUT TO:

78 EXT. BOAT DECK / FIRST CLAsS ENTRANCE - DUSK

A purple sky, shot with orange, in the west. Drifting
strains of classic music. We TRACK WITH JACK along the
deck. By Edwardian standards he looks badass. Dashing in
his borrowed white-tie outfit, right down to his pearl
studs.

A steward bows and smartly opens the door to the First Class
Entrance.

STEWARD
Good evening, sir.

Jack plays the role smoothly. Nods with just the right
degree of disdain.

CUT TO:

79 INT. UPPER LANDING / GRAND STAIRCASE AND A-DECK 79

Jack steps in and his breath is taken away by the splendor
spread out before him. Overhead is the enormous glass dome,
with a crystal chandelier at its center. Sweeping down six
stories is the First Class Grand Staircase, the epitome of
the opulent naval architecture of the time.

And the people: the women in their floor length dresses,
elaborate hairstyles and abundant jewelry... the gentlemen
in evening dress, standing with one hand at the small of the
back, talking quietly.

(CONTINUED)
64.
79 CONTINUED: 79


Jack descends to A deck. Several men nod a perfunctory
greeting. He nods back, keeping it simple. He feels like a
spy.

Cal comes down the stairs, with Ruth on his arm, covered in
jewelry. They both walk right past Jack, neither one
gecognizeing him. Cal nods at him, one gent to another.
But Jack barely has time to be amused. Because just behind
Cal and Ruth on the stairs is Rose, a vision in red and
black, her low-cut dress showing off her neck and shoulders,
her arms seathed in white gloves that come well above above
the elbow. Jack is hypnotized by her beauty.

CLOSE ON ROSE as she approaches Jack. He imitates the
gentlemen's stance, hand behind his back. She extends her
gloved hand and he takes it, kissing the back of her
fingers. Rose flushes, beaming noticeably. She can't take
her eyes off him.

JACK
I saw that in a nickelodean once, and
I always wanted to do it.

ROSE
Cal, surely you remember Mr. Dawson.

CAL
(caught off guard)
Dawson! I didn't recognize you.
(studies him)
Amazing! You could almost pass for a
gentlemen.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Molly Brown assists Jack in preparing for a formal gathering. Jack enters the First Class area feeling like an intruder, but is captivated by Rose's beauty. Cal initially fails to recognize Jack, but later feigns recollection.
Strengths
  • Rich setting descriptions
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable romantic tropes
Critique
  • The transition from Molly Brown's stateroom to the boat deck is a bit abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition to connect the scenes more seamlessly.
  • The description of Jack as 'badass' in Edwardian standards may come off as an anachronistic term and could be rephrased to better fit the time period and tone of the scene.
  • The interaction between Jack and the steward at the First Class Entrance could be enhanced by adding more subtle cues or gestures to convey Jack's disdain more effectively.
  • The description of the Grand Staircase and the opulence of the setting is well done, but there could be more focus on the emotions and reactions of the characters in this lavish environment.
  • The dialogue between Jack, Rose, and Cal feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and nuance to capture the tension and dynamics between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition scene to smoothly connect Molly Brown's stateroom to the boat deck, providing a more cohesive flow.
  • Rephrase the description of Jack to better fit the Edwardian era and the tone of the scene, avoiding modern terms like 'badass'.
  • Enhance the interaction between Jack and the steward at the First Class Entrance by adding subtle gestures or expressions to convey Jack's disdain more effectively.
  • Focus on the emotions and reactions of the characters in the opulent setting of the Grand Staircase to create a more immersive and visually captivating scene.
  • Develop the dialogue between Jack, Rose, and Cal to add depth and complexity to their interactions, capturing the tension and nuances of their relationships.



Scene 24 -  First Class Entrance
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
80 INT. D-DECK RECEPTION ROOM 80

CUT TO THE RECEPTION ROOM ON D DECK, as the party descends
to dinner. They encounter Molly Brown, looking good in a
beaded dress, in her own busty broad-shouldered way. Molly
grins when she sees Jack. As they are going into the dining
saloon she walks next to him, speaking low:

MOLLY
Ain't nothin' to it, is there, Jack?

JACK
Yeah, you just dress like a
pallbearer and keep your nose up.




(CONTINUED)
65.
80 CONTINUED: 80


MOLLY
Remember, the only thing they
respect is money, so just act like
you've got a lot of it and you're in the
club.

As they enter the swirling throng, Rose leans close to him,
pointing out several notables.

ROSE
There's the Countess Rothes. And
that's John Jacob Astor... the
richest man on the ship. His little
wifey there, Madeleine, is my age and
in a delicate condition. See how she's
trying to hide it. Quite the scandal.
(nodding toward a couple)
And over there, that's Sir Cosmo and
Lucile, Lady Duff-Gordon. She
designs naughty lingerie, among her
many talents. Very popular with the
royals.

Cal becomes engrossed in a conversations with Cosmo Duff-
Gordon and Colonel Gracie, while Ruth, the Countess and
Lucille discuss fashion. Rose picots Jack smoothly, to show
him another couple, dressed impeccably.

ROSE
And that's Benjamin Guggenheim and his
mistress, Madame Aubert. Mrs.
Guggenheim is at home with the
children, of course.

Cal, meanwhile, is accepting the praise of his male
counterparts, who are looking at Rose like a prize show
horse.

SIR COSMO
Hockley, she is splendid.

CAL
Thank you.

GRACIE
Cal's a lucky man. I know him well, and
it can only be luck.

Ruth steps over, hearing the last. She takes Cal's arm,
somewhat coquettishly.




(CONTINUED)
66.
80 CONTINUED: (2) 80


RUTH
How can you say that Colonel?
Caledon Hockley is a great catch.

The entourage strolls toward the dining saloon, where they
run into the Astor's going through the ornate double doors.

ROSE
J.J., Madeleine, I'd like you to
meet Jack Dawson.

ASTOR
(shaking his hand)
Good to meet you Jack. Are you of the
Boston Dawsons?

JACK
No, the Chippewa Falls Dawsons,
actually.

J.J. nods as if he's heard of them, then looks puzzled.
Madeleine Astor appraises Jack and whispers girlishly to
Rose:

MADELEINE
It's a pity we're both spoken for,
isn't it?

CUT TO:

81 INT. DINING SALOON 81

Like a ballroom at the palace, alive and lit by a
constellation of chandeliers, full of elegantly dressed
people and beautiful music from BANDLEADER WALLACE HARTLEY'S
small orchestra. As Rose and Jack enter and move across the
room to their table, Cal and Ruth beside them, we hear...

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
He must have been nervous but he
never faltered. They assumed he was one
of them... a young captain of industry
perhaps... new money, obviously,
but still a memeber of the club.
Mother of course, could always be
counted upon...

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Wealthy passengers make a grand entrance into the first class dining saloon. Molly advises Jack on how to fit in while Rose introduces him to notable couples. Cal receives praise, and Jack briefly encounters John Jacob Astor and Madeleine Astor. Ruth defends Cal's marriage to Rose.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Detailed setting description
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched character interactions
  • Slightly predictable social dynamics
Critique
  • The scene lacks depth and emotional connection between the characters, especially Jack and Rose.
  • The dialogue feels superficial and lacks authenticity, making the interactions between the characters seem forced.
  • The scene focuses more on name-dropping and showcasing the wealthy passengers rather than developing the relationships and dynamics between the characters.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the class differences and tensions on the Titanic in a more nuanced way.
  • The scene lacks subtlety and relies too heavily on stereotypes and cliches.
Suggestions
  • Add more depth to the interactions between Jack and Rose by focusing on their emotional connection and shared experiences.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more authentic and reflective of the characters' personalities and backgrounds.
  • Instead of simply showcasing the wealthy passengers, use the scene to explore the class dynamics and tensions on the Titanic in a more nuanced way.
  • Create more subtle and nuanced interactions between the characters to avoid relying on stereotypes and cliches.
  • Consider adding moments of conflict or tension to make the scene more engaging and dynamic.



Scene 25 -  Dinnertime Conversation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
82 INT. DINING SALOON 82
67.



CLOSE ON RUTH.

RUTH
Tell us of the accommodations in
steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear
they're quite good on this ship.

WIDER: THE TABLE. Jack is seated opposite Rose, who is
flanked by Cal and Thomas Andrews. Also at the table are
Molly Brown, Ismay, Colonel Gracie, the Countess,
Guggenheim, Madame Aubert, and the Astors.

JACK
The best I've seen, m'am. Hardly any
rats.

Rose motions surreptitiously for Jack to take his napkin off
his plate.

CAL
Mr. Dawson is joining us from third
class. He was of some assistance to my
fiancee last night.
(to Jack, as if to a child)
This is foie gras. It's goose
liver.

We see whispers exchanged. Jack becomesthe subject of
furtive glances. Now they're all feeling terribly liberal
and dangerous.

GUGGENHEIM
(low to Madame Aubert)
What is Hockly hoping to prove,
bringing this... bohemian... up
here?

WAITER
(to Jack)
How do you take your caviar, sir?

CAL
(answering for him)
Just a soupcon of lemon...
(to Jack, smiling)
...it improves the flavor with
champagne.

JACK
(to the waiter)
No caviar for me, thanks.
(to Cal)
Never did like it much.

(CONTINUED)
68.
CONTINUED:


He looks at Rose, pokerfaced, and she smiles.

RUTH
And where exactly do you live, Mr.
Dawson?

JACK
Well, right now my address is the RMS
Titanic. After that, I'm on God's
good humor.

Salad is served. Jack reaches for the fish fork. Rose
gives him a look and picks up the salad fork, prompting him
with her eyes. He changes forks.

RUTH
You find that sort of rootless
existence appealing, do you?

JACK
Well... it's a big world, and I want to
see it all before I go. My father
was always talkin' about goin' to
see the ocean. He died in the town he
was born in, and never did see it.
You can't wait around, because you
never know what hand you're going to
get dealt next. See, my folks died in
a fire when I was fifteen, and I've
been on the road since. Somethin'
like that teaches you to take life as it
comes at you. To make each day count.

Molly Brown raises her glass in a salute.

MOLLY
Well said, Jack.

COLONEL GRACIE
(raising his glass)
Here, here.

Rose raises her glass, looking at Jack.

ROSE
To making it count.

Ruth, annoyed that Jack has scored a point, presses him
further.

RUTH
How is it you have the means to
travel, Mr. Dawson?

(CONTINUED)
69.
CONTINUED: (2)


JACK
I work my way from place to place.
Tramp steamers and such. I won my
ticket on Titanic here in a lucky
hand at poker.
(he glances at Rose)
A very lucky hand.

GRACIE
All life is a game of luck.

CAL
A real man makes his own luck,
Archie.

Rose notices that Thomas Andrews, sitting next to her, is
writing in his notebook, completely ignoring the
conversation.

ROSE
Mr. Andrews, what are you doing? I see
you everywhere writing in this little
book.
(grabs it and reads)
Increase number of screws in hat
hooks from 2 to 3. You build the
biggest ship in the world and this
preoccupies you?!

Andrews smiles sheepishly.

ISMAY
He knows every rivet in her, don't you
Thomas?

ANDREWS
All three million of them.

ISMAY
His blood and soul are in the ship. She
may be mine on paper, but in the eyes of
God she belongs to Thomas Andrews.

ROSE
Your ship is a wonder, Mr. Andrews.
Truly.

ANDREWS
Thankyou, Rose.

We see that Andrews has come under Rose's spell.



(CONTINUED)
70.
CONTINUED: (3)


83 TIME TRANSITION: Dessert has been served and a waiter
arrives with cigars in a humidor on a wheeled cart. The men
start clipping ends and lighting.

ROSE
(low, to Jack)
Nest it'll be brandies in the
Smoking Room.

GRACIE
(rising)
Well, join me for a brandy,
gentlemen?

ROSE
(low)
Now they retreat into a cloud of
smoke and congratulate each other on
being masters of the universe.

GRACIE
Joining us, Dawson? You don't want to
stay out here with the women, do you?

Actually he does, but...

JACK
No thanks. I'm heading back.

CAL
Probably best. It'll be all
business and politics, that sort of
thing. Wouldn't interest you. Good of
you to come.

Cal and te other gentlemen exit.

ROSE
Jack, must you go?

JACK
Time for my coach to turn back into a
pumpkin.

He leans over to take her hand.

INSERT: We see him slip a tiny folded not into her palm.

Ruth, scowling, watches him walk away across the enormous
room. Rose surreptitiously opens the note below table
level. It reads: "Make it count. Meet me at the clock".

CUT TO:
71.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary During dinner, Rose inquires about Jack's steerage accommodations, leading Jack to share his philosophy on making each day count. While Ruth disapproves of Jack's presence, Molly Brown and Colonel Gracie show support. Rose compliments Thomas Andrews on his work, and the men leave for brandies, with Rose slipping Jack a mysterious note.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Predictable character interactions
Critique
  • The scene introduces a lot of characters at the dining table, which can be overwhelming for the audience to keep track of.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and expository, especially with Ruth's questions to Jack about his lifestyle and means of travel.
  • The interactions between the characters, especially the furtive glances and whispers, come across as contrived and lacking subtlety.
  • The transition from playful banter to serious topics like Jack's past and philosophy on life feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The scene lacks a clear central conflict or tension to drive the narrative forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the number of characters at the dining table to focus on key interactions and dynamics.
  • Work on making the dialogue more natural and less expository, allowing the characters to reveal information more organically.
  • Add more nuance to the interactions between characters to make them feel more authentic and less staged.
  • Smooth out the transition between light-hearted moments and deeper conversations to create a more cohesive tone.
  • Introduce a central conflict or tension within the scene to add depth and drive the narrative forward.



Scene 26 -  Dancing in the Third Class General Room
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
84 INT. A-DECK FOYER-NIGHT 84

Rose crosses the A-Deck foyer, sighting Jack at the landing
above. Overhead is the crystal dome. Jack has his back to
her, studying the ornate clock with its carved figures of
Honor and Glory. It softly strikes the hour.

MOVING WITH ROSE as she goes up the sweeping staircase
toward him. He turns, sees her... smiles.

JACK
Want to go to a real party?

CUT TO:

85 INT. THIRD CLASS GENERAL ROOM 85

Crow led and alive with music, laughter and raucous carrying
on. An ad hoc band is gathered near the upright piano,
honking out lively stomping music on fiddle, accoridon and
tambourine. People of all ages are dancing, drinking beer
and wine, smoking, laughing, even brawling.

Tommy hands Rose a pint of stout and she hoists it. Jack
meanwhile dances with 5 year old Cora Cartmell, or tries to,
with her standing on his feet. As the tune ends, Rose leans
down to the little girl.

ROSE
May I cut in, miss?

JACK
You're still my best girl, Cora.

Cora scampers off. Rose and Jack face each other. She is
trembling as he takes her right hand in his left. His other
hand slides to the small of her back. It is an electrifying
moment.

ROSE
I don't know the steps.

JACK
Just move with me. Don't think.

The music starts and they are off. A little awkward at
first, she starts to get into it. She grins at Jack as she
starts to get the rhythm of the steops.

ROSE
Wait... stop!



(CONTINUED)
72.
85 CONTINUED: 85


She bends down, pulling off her high heeled shoes, and
flings them to Tommy. Then she grabs Jack and they plunge
back into the fray, dancing faster as the music speeds up.

CUT TO:

86 OMITTED 86

87 INT. THIRD CLASS GENERAL ROOM 87

The scene is rowdy and rollicking. A table gets knocked
over as a drunk crashes into it. And in the middle of it...
Rose dancing with Jack in her stocking feet. The steps are
fast and she shines with sweat. A space opens around them,
and people watch them, clapping as the band plays faster and
faster.

FABRIZIO AND HELGA. Dancing has obviated the need for a
common language. He whirls her, then she responds by
whirling him... Fabrizio's eyes go wide when he realizes
she's stronger than he is.

The tune ends in a mad rush. Jack steps away from Rose with
a flourish, allowing her to take a bow. Exhilarated and
slightly tipsy, she does a graceful ballet ployer, feet
turned out perfectly. Everyone laughs and applauds. Rose
is a hit with the steerage folks, who've never had a lady
party with them.

They move to a table, flushed and sweaty. Rose grabs
Fabrizio's cigarette and takes a big drag. She's feeling
cocky. Fabrizio is grinning, holding hands with Helga.

JACK
How you two doin'?

FABRIZIO
I don't know hwat she's say, she
don't know what I say, so we get
along fine.

Tommy walks up with a pint for each of them. Rose chugs
hers, showing off.

ROSE
You think a first class girl can't
drink?

Everybody else is dancing again, and Bjorn Gundersen crashes
into Tommy, who sloshes his beer over Rose's dress. She
laughs, not caring. But Tommy lunges, grabbing Bjorn and
wheeling him around.


(CONTINUED)
73.
87 CONTINUED: 87


TOMMY
You stupid bastard!!

Bjorn comes around, his fists coming up... and Jack leaps
into the middle of it, pushing them apart.

JACK
Boys, boys! Did I ever tell you the one
about the Swede and the Irishman goin' to
the whorehouse?

Tommy stands there, all piss and vinegar, chest puffed up.
Then he grins and claps Bjorn on the shoulder.

ROSE
So, you think you're big tough men?
Let's see you do this.

In her stocking feet she assumes a ballet stance, arms
raised, and goes up on point, taking her entire weight on
the tips of her toes. The guys gape at her incredible
muscle control. She comes back down, then her face screws
up in pain. She grabs one foot, hopping around.

ROSE
Oooowww! I haven't done that in
years.

Jack catches her as she loses her balance, and everyone
cracks up.

THE DOOR to the well deck is open a few inches as Lovejoy
watches through the gap. He sees Jack holding Rose, both of
them laughing.

LOVEJOY closes the door.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama","Historical"]

Summary Rose ascends the staircase and meets Jack, who invites her to a party in the Third Class General Room. They dance amidst the lively atmosphere, with Rose impressing the steerage folks with her ballet moves. A conflict arises when Bjorn spills beer on Rose's dress, but Jack defuses the situation with humor. The scene ends with Lovejoy observing them from afar, hinting at a possible threat to their budding romance.
Strengths
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Romantic and playful tone
  • Emotional depth and connection
Weaknesses
  • Low overall conflict level
  • Limited focus on external plot developments
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Rose crossing the A-Deck foyer to the rowdy and lively Third Class General Room, which may be disorienting for the audience.
  • The introduction of the scene lacks context and background information, making it challenging to understand the significance of the characters' actions and interactions.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose lacks depth and substance, focusing more on playful banter rather than meaningful conversation.
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to explore the internal struggles or motivations of the characters, particularly Rose and Jack.
  • The choreographed dance sequence between Rose and Jack feels contrived and cliched, lacking authenticity and emotional resonance.
  • The sudden shift in tone from a rowdy party atmosphere to a more intimate moment between Rose and Jack feels disjointed and lacks smooth transition.
  • The conflict between Tommy and Bjorn is resolved too quickly and without much impact on the overall narrative.
  • The character of Lovejoy watching Jack and Rose from afar adds a sense of unease and tension, but this subplot is not fully developed or resolved in the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the setting and atmosphere, providing a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Overall, the scene lacks depth, emotional resonance, and cohesive storytelling, making it feel disjointed and lacking in substance.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context and background information at the beginning of the scene to help the audience understand the significance of the characters' actions.
  • Focus on developing meaningful dialogue that delves into the internal thoughts and emotions of the characters, particularly Rose and Jack.
  • Consider exploring the characters' motivations and conflicts in more depth to add complexity and depth to the scene.
  • Work on creating a more seamless transition between different tones and atmospheres within the scene to maintain coherence and engagement.
  • Develop the subplot involving Lovejoy watching Jack and Rose to add tension and intrigue to the narrative.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting and characters to create a more immersive and engaging scene for the audience.
  • Consider adding layers of emotional depth and authenticity to the interactions between characters to make the scene more impactful and resonant.
  • Ensure that conflicts are resolved in a meaningful and impactful way to drive the narrative forward and engage the audience.
  • Focus on creating a cohesive and compelling narrative arc within the scene to keep the audience invested in the characters and their journey.



Scene 27 -  Boat Deck Encounter and Tense Breakfast
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
88 EXT. BOAT DECK - NIGHT 88

The stars blaze overhead, so bright and clear you can see
the Milky Way. Rose and Jack walk along the row of
lifeboats. Still giddy from the party, they are singing a
popular song "Come Josephine in My Flying Machine".

JACK/ROSE
Come Josephine in my flying machine And
it's up she goes! Up she goes! In the
air she goes. Where? There she goes!




(CONTINUED)
74.
88 CONTINUED: 88


They fumble the words and break down laughing. They have
reached the First Class Entrance, but don't go straight in,
not wanting the evening to end. Through the doors the sound
of the ship's orchestra wafts gently. Rose grabs a davit
and leans back, staring at the cosmos.

ROSE
Isn't it magnificent? So grand and
endless.

She goes to the rail and leans on it.

ROSE
They're such small people, Jack... my
crowd. They think they're giants on the
earth, but they're not even dust in
God's eye. They live inside this little
tiny champagne bubble... and someday
the bubble's going to burst.

He leans at the rail next to her, his hand just touching
hers. It is the slightest contact imaginable, and all
either one of them can feel is that square inch of skin
where their hands are touching.

JACK
You're not one of them. There's
been a mistake.

ROSE
A mistake?

JACK
Uh huh. You got mailed to the wrong
address.

ROSE
(laughing)
I did, didn't I?

ROSE (CONT'D)
(pointing suddenly)
Look! A shooting star.

JACK
That was a long one. My father used to
say that whenever you saw one, it was a
soul going to heaven.

ROSE
I like that. Aren't we supposed to
wish on it?


(CONTINUED)
75.
88 CONTINUED: (2) 88


Jack looks at her, and finds that they are suddenly very
close together. It would be so easy to move another couple
of inches, to kiss her. Rose seems to be thinking the same
thing.

JACK
What would you wish for?

After a beat, Rose pulls back.

ROSE
Something I can't have.
(she smiles sadly)
Goodnight, Jack. And thank you.

She leaves the rail and hurries through the First Class
Entrance.

JACK
Rose!!

But the door bangs shut, and she is gone. Back to her
world.

CUT TO:

89 INT. ORSE AND CAL'S SUITE / PRIVATE PROMENADE - DAY 89

SUNDAY APRIL 14, 1912. A bright clear day. Sunlight
splashing across the promenade. Rose and Cal are having
breakfast in silence. The tension is palpable. Trudy Bolt,
in her maid's uniform, pours the coffee and goes inside.

CAL
I had hoped you would come to me
last night.

ROSE
I was tired.

CAL
Yes. Your exertions below decks
were no doubt exausting.

ROSE
(stiffening)
I see you had that undertaker of a
manservant follow me.

CAL
You will never behave like that
again! Do you understand?


(CONTINUED)
76.
89 CONTINUED: 89


ROSE
I'm not some foreman in your mills
than you can command! I am your
fiancee--

Cal explodes, sweeping the breakfast china off the table
with a crash. He moves to her in one shocking moment,
glowering over her and gripping the sides of her chair, so
she is trapped between his arms.

CAL
Yes! You are! And my wife... in
practice, if not yet by law. So you
will honor me, as a wife is required to
honor her husband! I will not be made
out a fool! Is this in any way unclear?

Rose shrinks into the chair. She sees Trudy, frozen,
partway through the door bringing the orange juice. Cal
follows Rose's glance and straightens up. He stalks past
the maid, entering the stateroom.

ROSE
We... had a little accident. I'm
sorry, Trudy.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary On the boat deck, Rose and Jack share a playful and intimate moment, discussing their different perspectives on life. The scene transitions to the next morning, revealing a tense interaction between Rose and Cal during breakfast, showcasing Cal's controlling behavior.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Romantic tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in romantic storyline
Critique
  • The scene starts with a light and playful tone, transitioning to a more introspective and emotional moment between Rose and Jack.
  • The dialogue between Rose and Jack is well-written and reveals their growing connection and mutual understanding.
  • The tension between Rose and Cal is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the scene and highlighting the power dynamics in their relationship.
  • The visual descriptions help set the scene and create a vivid image of the boat deck and the interactions between the characters.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense and leaves the audience wanting to know more about the characters' relationships and motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical actions or gestures to enhance the emotional depth of the scene, such as subtle touches or expressions.
  • Explore the internal thoughts and feelings of the characters to provide deeper insight into their motivations and conflicts.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting and create a more vivid atmosphere.
  • Experiment with different pacing and structure to create more tension and intrigue throughout the scene.
  • Continue to develop the relationships between the characters and explore the dynamics between them to add complexity and depth to the story.



Scene 28 -  Ruth's Manipulation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
90 INT. RUTH'S SUITE - DAY 90

Rose is dressed for the day, and is in the middle of helping
Ruth with her corset. The tight bindings do not inhibit
Ruth's fury at all.

RUTH
You are not to see that boy again, do
you understand me Rose? I forbid it!

Rose has her knee at the base of her mother's back and is
pulling the corset strings with both hands.

ROSE
Oh, stop it, Mother. You'll give
yourself a nosebleed.

Ruth pulls away from her, and crosses to the door, locking
it. CLACK!

RUTH
(wheeling on her)
Rose, this is not a game! Our
situation is precarious. You know the
money's gone!

(CONTINUED)
77.
90 CONTINUED: 90


ROSE
Of course I know it's gone. You
remind me every day!

RUTH
Your father left us nothing but a
legacy of bad debts hidden by a good
name. And that name is the only
card we have to play.

Rose turns her around and grabs the corset strings again.
Ruth sucks in her waist and Rose pulls.

RUTH
I don't understand you. It is a
fine match with Hockley, and it will
insure our survival.

ROSE
(hurt and lost)
How can you put this on my
shoulders?

Rose turns to her, and we see what Rose sees-- the naked
fear in her mother's eyes.

RUTH
Do you want to se me working as a
seamstress? Is that what you want? Do
you want to see our fine things sold
at an auction, our memories scattered
to the winds? My God, Rose, how can
you be so selfish?

ROSE
It's so unfair.

RUTH
Of course it's unfair! We're women. Our
choices are never easy.

Rose pulls the corset tighter.

CUT TO:

91 INT. FIRST CLASS DINING SALOON 91

At the divine service, Captain Smith is leading a group in
the hymn "Almighty Father Strong To Save." Rose and Ruth
sing in the middle of the group.

Lovejoy stands well back, keeping an eye on Rose. He
notices a commotion at the entry doors.

(CONTINUED)
78.
91 CONTINUED: 91

Jack has been halted there by two stewards. He is dressed
in his third class clothes, and stands there, hat in hand,
looking out of place.

STEWARD
Look, you, you're not supposed to be in
here.

JACK
I was just here last night... don't you
remember?
(seeing Lovejoy coming toward
him)
He'll tell you.

LOVEJOY
Mr. Hockley and Mrs. DeWitt Bukater
continue to be most appreciative of
your assistance. They asked me to
give you this in gratitude--

He holds out two twenty dollar bills, which Jack refuses to
take.

JACK
I don't want money, I--

LOVEJOY
--and also to remind you that you
hold a third class ticket and your
presence here is no longer
appropriate.

Jack spots Rose but she doesn't see him.

JACK
I just need to talk to Rose for a--

LOVEJOY
Gentlemen, please see that Mr.
Dawson gets back where he belongs.
(giving the twenties to the
stewards)
And that he stays there.

STEWARD
Yes sir!
(to Jack)
Come along you.

END ON ROSE, not seeing Jack hustled out.




(CONTINUED)
79.
91 CONTINUED: (2) 91


ROSE
(singing)
O hear us when we cry to thee for
those in peril on the sea.

CUT TO:

92 INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY 92

An Edwardian nautilus room. There are machines we
recognize, and some don't. A woman pedals a stationary
bicycle in a long dress, looking rediculous. Thomas Andrews
is leading a small tour group, including Rose, Ruth and Cal.
Cal is wroking the oars of a stationary rowing machine with
a well trained stroke.

CAL
Reminds me of my Harvard days.

T.W. McCAULEY, the gym instructor, is a bouncy little man in
white flannels, eager to show off his modern equipment, like
his present-day counterpart on an "Abflex" infomercial. He
hits a switch and a machine with a saddle on it starts to
undulate. Rose puts her hand on it, curious.

MCCAULEY
The electric horse is very popular. We
even have an electric camel.
(to Ruth)
Care to try your hand at the rowing,
m'am?

RUTH
Don't be absurd. I can't think of a
skill I should likely need less.

ANDREWS
The next stop on our tour will be
bridge. This way, please.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Ruth confronts Rose, demanding she cease seeing Jack. She emphasizes their financial instability and the importance of Rose's engagement to Hockley. Ruth instils fear by outlining the consequences of their social downfall. Rose, feeling overwhelmed, reluctantly submits. As Jack attempts to approach Rose in first-class, he is denied entry. Rose remains unaware of his presence.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable conflict dynamics
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between Ruth and Rose, highlighting the financial strain and the pressure Ruth puts on Rose to secure their survival.
  • The dialogue between Ruth and Rose feels authentic and conveys the power dynamics within their relationship.
  • The visual of Rose tightening Ruth's corset adds a physical element to the emotional conflict between them, enhancing the scene.
  • The transition to the First Class Dining Saloon is smooth and provides a contrast to the intimate setting of Ruth's suite.
  • Lovejoy's interaction with Jack adds to the conflict and sets up the tension for future interactions between Jack and Rose.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Explore ways to visually enhance the power dynamics between Ruth and Rose through body language and facial expressions.
  • Provide more context or backstory to further explain Ruth's motivations and fears, adding depth to her character.
  • Consider incorporating subtle foreshadowing elements to hint at future conflicts or resolutions in the story.
  • Experiment with different camera angles and lighting techniques to create a more visually engaging scene.



Scene 29 -  Jack's Plan and Andrews' Tour
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
93 EXT. AFT WELL DECK, B-DECK AND A-DECK - DAY 93

Jack, walking with determination, is followed closely by
Tommy and Fabrizio. He quickly climbs the steps to B-Deck
and steps over the gate separating 3rd from 2nd class.

TOMMY
She's a goddess amongst mortal men,
there's no denyin'. But she's in
another world, Jackie, forget her.
She's closed the door.

(CONTINUED)
80.
93 CONTINUED: 93


Jack moves furtively to the wall below the A-Deck promenade,
aft.

JACK
It was them, not her.
(glancing around the deck)
Ready... go.

Tommy shakes his head resignedly and puts his hands
together, crouching down. Jack steps into Tommy's hands and
gets boosted up to the next deck, where he scrambles nimbly
over the railing, onto the First Class deck.

TOMMY
He's not bein' logical, I tell ya.

FABRIZIO
Amore is'a not logical.

CUT TO:

94 EXT. A-DECK / AFT - DAY 94

A man is playing with his son, who is spinning a top with a
string. The man's overcoat and hat are sitting on a deck
chair nearby. Jack emerges from behind one of the huge deck
cranes and calmly picks up the coat and bowler hat. He
walks away, slipping into the coat, and slicks his hair back
with spit. Then puts the hat on at a jaunty angle. At a
distance he could pass for a gentlemen.

CUT TO:

95 INT. BRIDGE / CHARTROOM - DAY 95

HAROLD BRIDE, the 21 year old Junior Wireless Operator,
hustles in and skirts around Andrews' tour group to hand a
Marconigram to Captain Smith.

BRIDE
Another ice warning, sir. This one
from the "Baltic".

SMITH
Thankyou, Sparks.

Smith glances at the message then nonchalantly puts it in
his pocket. He nods reassuringly to Rose and the group.

SMITH
Not to worry, it's quite normal for
this time of year.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
81.
95 CONTINUED: 95
SMITH (cont'd)
In fact, we're speeding up. I've just
ordered the last boilers lit.

Andrews scowls slightly before motioning the group toward
the door. They exit just as SECOND OFFICER CHARLES HERBERT
LIGHTOLLER comes out of the chartroom, stopping next to
First Officer Murdoch.

LIGHTOLLER
Did we ever find those binoculars for
the lookouts?

FIRST OFFICER MURDOCH

Haven't seen them since Southampton.

CUT TO:

96 EXT. BOAT DECK / STARBOARD SIDE - DAY 96

Andrews leads the group back from the bridge along the boat
deck.

ROSE
Mr. Andrews, I did the sum in my
head, and with the number of
lifeboats times the capacity you
mentioned... forgive me, but it
seems that there are not enough for
everyone aboard.

ANDREWS
About half, actually. Rose, you
miss nothing, do you? In fact, I put
in these new type davits, which can take
an extra row of boats here.
(he gestures along the eck)
But it was thought... by some...
that the deck would look too
cluttered. So I was over-ruled.

CAL
(slapping the side of a boat)
Waste of deck space as it is, on an
unsinkable ship!

ANDREWS
Sleep soundly, young Rose. I have
built you a good ship, strong and
true. She's all the lifeboat you
need.

As they are passing Boat 7, a gentlemen turns from the rail
and walks up behind the group. It is Jack.

(CONTINUED)
82.
96 CONTINUED: 96

He taps Rose on the arm and she turns, gasping. He motions
and she cuts away from the group toward a door which Jack
holds open. They duck into the--

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Jack, Tommy, and Fabrizio devise a plan for Jack to reach the First Class deck, where Rose is. While Andrews leads a tour of the ship's bridge, Jack disguises himself as a gentleman and motions for Rose to follow him.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in the romance plot
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition or connection to the previous scenes, making it feel disjointed from the overall narrative.
  • The dialogue between Tommy, Fabrizio, and Jack feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The actions of Jack climbing to the First Class deck seem unrealistic and overly dramatic, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
  • The interaction between Harold Bride and Captain Smith lacks tension or significance, failing to engage the audience in the unfolding events.
  • The conversation between Rose, Andrews, and Cal about the lifeboats feels contrived and does not effectively convey the urgency or gravity of the situation.
  • The sudden appearance of Jack tapping Rose on the arm and leading her away feels abrupt and lacks a natural flow within the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the scene to provide a smoother transition from the previous scenes, ensuring continuity in the narrative.
  • Develop the dialogue between the characters to be more engaging, authentic, and reflective of their personalities and motivations.
  • Reevaluate the actions of Jack climbing to the First Class deck to make them more believable and grounded in the context of the story.
  • Enhance the interaction between Harold Bride and Captain Smith to create a sense of tension and importance in the communication of critical information.
  • Revise the conversation about the lifeboats to increase the stakes and emotional impact of the impending disaster, adding depth to the characters' reactions.
  • Integrate Jack's interaction with Rose in a more organic and seamless manner, ensuring it aligns with the overall tone and pacing of the scene.



Scene 30 -  A Heartfelt Conversation in the Gym
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
97 INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY 97

Jack closes the door behind her, and glances out through the
ripple-glass window to the starboard rail, where the gym
instructor is chatting up the woman who was riding the bike.
Rose and Jack are alone in the room.

ROSE
Jack, this is impossible. I can't see
you.

He takes her by the shoulders.

JACK
Rose, you're no picnic... you're a
spoiled little brat even, but under
that you're a strong, pure heart, and
you're the most amazingly
astounding girl I've ever known and-

-

ROSE
Jack, I--

JACK
No wait. Let me try to get this
out. You're amazing... and I know I
have nothing to offer you, Rose. I
know that. But I'm involved now. You
jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn
away without knowin' that you're
goin' to be alright.

Rose feels the tears coming to her eyes. Jack is so open
and real... not like anyone she has ever known.

ROSE
You're making this very hard. I'll be
fine. Really.

JACK
I don't think so. They've got you in
a glass jar like some butterfly, and
you're goin' to die if you don't break
out. Maybe not right away, 'cause
you're strong. But sooner or later the
fire in you is goin' to go out.

(CONTINUED)
83.
CONTINUED:


ROSE
It's not up to you to save me, Jack.

JACK
You're right. Only you can do that.

ROSE
I have to get back, they'll miss me.
Please, Jack, for both our sakes,
leave me alone.

CUT TO:

98 INT. FIRST CLASS LOUNG - DAY 98

The most elegant room on the ship, done in Louis Quinze
Versaille style. Rose sits on a divan, with a group of
other women arrayed around her. Ruth, the Countess Rothes
and Lady Duff-Gordon are taking tea. Rose is silent and
still as a porcelain figurine as the conversation washes
around her.

RUTH
Of course the invitations had to be
sent back to the printers twice. And
the bridesmaids dresses! Let me tell
you what an odyssey that has been...

TRACKING SLOWLY IN on Rose as Ruth goes on.

REVERSE, ROSE'S POV: A tabeau of MOTHER and DAUGHTER having
tea. The four year old girl, wearing white gloves, daintily
picking up a cookie. The mother correcting her on her
posture, and the way she holds the teacup. The little girl
is trying so hard to please, her expression serious. A
glimpse of Rose at that age, and we see the relentless
conditioning... the pain to becoming an Edwardian geisha.

ON ROSE. She calmly and deliberately turns her teacup over,
spilling tea all over her dress.

ROSE
Oh, look what I've done.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Jack expresses his genuine feelings for Rose and his concern for her well-being in the gym. Rose initially hesitates but eventually opens up about her struggles. They part ways, leaving their future uncertain.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Strong character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Slightly predictable emotional beats
Critique
  • The scene starts with a heartfelt and emotional conversation between Jack and Rose, which is well-written and captures their deep connection.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose is authentic and reveals their inner thoughts and feelings, adding depth to their characters.
  • The setting of the elegant First Class Lounge provides a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil and vulnerability of Rose, creating a visually striking scene.
  • The visual description of Rose's silent and still demeanor amidst the conversation around her effectively conveys her inner turmoil and conflict.
  • The symbolism of Rose spilling tea on her dress to break free from the relentless conditioning and expectations of her social class is powerful and adds layers to her character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional intensity of the scene, such as subtle gestures or expressions that reflect the characters' inner struggles.
  • Explore the dynamic between Rose and the other women in the scene to further highlight her internal conflict and the societal pressures she faces.
  • Provide more insight into Ruth's character and her relationship with Rose to deepen the emotional impact of their interactions.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the elegant setting of the First Class Lounge and enhance the atmosphere of the scene.
  • Continue to develop the theme of rebellion and self-discovery in Rose's character arc, using symbolic actions like spilling tea to signify her breaking free from societal constraints.



Scene 31 -  Flying on the Titanic
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
99 EXT. TITANIC - DAY 99

TITANIC STEAMS TOWARD US, in the dusk light, as if lit by
the embers of a giant fire. As the ship looms, FILLING
FRAME, we push in on the bow. Jack is there, right at the
apex of the bow railing, his favorite spot. He closes his
eyes, letting the chill wind clear his head.

(CONTINUED)
84.
99 CONTINUED: 99


Jack hears her voice, behind him...

ROSE
Hello, Jack.

He turns and she is standing there.

ROSE
I changed my mind.

He smiles at her, his eyes drinking her in. Her cheeks are
red with the chill wind, and her eyes sparkle. Her hair
blows wildly about her face.

ROSE
Fabrizio said you might be up--

JACK
Sssshh. Come here.

He puts his hands on her waist. As if he is going to kiss
her.

JACK
Close your eyes.

She does, and he turns her to face forward, the way the ship
is going. He presses her gently to the rail, standing right
behind her. Then he takes her two hands and raises them
until she is standing with her arms outstetched on each
side. Rose is going along with him. When he lowers his
hands, her arms stay up... like wings.

JACK
Okay. Open them.

Rose gasps. There is nothing in her field of vision but
water. It's like there is no ship under them at all, just
the two of them soaring. The Atlantic unrolls toward her, a
hammered copper shield under a dusk sky. There is only the
wind, and the hiss of the water 50 feel below.

ROSE
I'm flying!

She leans forward, arching her back. He puts his hands on
her waist to steady her.

JACK
(singing softly)
Come Josephine in my flying
machine...


(CONTINUED)
85.
99 CONTINUED: (2) 99


Rose cleses her eyes, feeling herself floating weightless
far above the sea. She smiles dreamily, then leans back,
gently pressing her back against his chest. He pushes
forward slightly against her.

Slowly he raises his hands, arms outstretched, and they meet
hers... fingertips gently touching. Then their fingers
intertwine. Moving slowly, their fingers caress through and
around each other like the bodies of two lovers.

Jack tips his face forward into her blowing hair, letting
the scent of her wash over him, until his cheek is agianst
her ear.

Rose turns her head until her lips are near his. She lowers
her arms, turning further, until she finds his mouth with
hers. He wraps his arms around her from behind, and they
kiss like this with her head turned and tilted back,
surrendering to him, to the emotion, to the inevitable.
They kiss, slowly and tremulously, and then with building
passion.

Jack and the ship seem to merge into one force of power and
optimism, lifting her, buoying her forward on a magical
journey, soaring onward into a night without fear.

100 IN THE CROW'S NEST, high above and behind them, lookout
FREDERICK FLEET nudges his mate, REGINALD LEE, pointing down
at the figures in the bow.

FLEET
Wish I had those bleedin'
binoculars.

101 JACK AND ROSE, embracing at the bow rail, DISSOLVE
SLOWLY AWAY, leaving the ruined bow of the WRECK--

CUT TO:

102 INT. KELDYSH IMAGING SHACK 102

OLD ROSE blinks, seeming to come back to the present. She
sees the wreck on the screen, the sad ghost ship deep in the
abyss.

ROSE
That was the last time Titanic ever saw
daylight.

Brock Lovett changes the tape in the minicassette recorder.




(CONTINUED)
86.
102 CONTINUED: 102


BROCK
So we're up to dusk on the night of the
sinking. Six hours to go.

BODINE
Don't you love it? There's Smith,
he's standing there with the iceberg
warning in his fucking hand...
(remembering Rose)
... excuse me... in his hand, and
he's ordering more speed.

BROCK
26 years of experience working
against him. He figures anything big
enough to sink the ship they're going
to see in time to turn. But the ship's
too big, with too small a rudder... it
can't corner worth shit. Everything
he knows is wrong.

ROSE is ignoring this conversation. She has the art-nouveau
comb with the jade butterfly on the handle in her hands,
turning it slowly. She is watching a monitor, which shows
the ruins of Suite B-52/56. PUSH IN until the image fills
frame.

TRANSITION:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Rose finds Jack at the bow of the ship, where he positions her to appear as if she is flying. They share a passionate kiss, symbolizing power and optimism. In the present day, Rose watches footage of the ship's ruins.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Romantic tension
  • Symbolism
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited focus on the Titanic's impending tragedy
Critique
  • The scene captures a beautiful and intimate moment between Jack and Rose, showcasing their connection and the sense of freedom and joy they experience together.
  • The visual descriptions effectively set the romantic and dreamy tone of the scene, creating a vivid image of Jack and Rose 'flying' at the bow of the ship.
  • The dialogue and actions between Jack and Rose convey their deepening emotional bond and the sense of escapism they find in each other.
  • The scene effectively transitions from a moment of playfulness to a tender and passionate kiss, symbolizing the merging of Jack and the ship as a force of power and optimism.
  • The use of music and sensory details like the wind and scent of Rose's hair enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reflections from Jack and Rose to deepen their emotional connection and provide insight into their feelings.
  • Explore incorporating more symbolism or foreshadowing elements to enhance the thematic depth of the scene.
  • Ensure a balance between the romantic elements and the impending tragedy of the Titanic sinking to maintain a sense of tension and foreshadowing.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or references to the eventual fate of Jack and Rose to add layers of dramatic irony for viewers familiar with the story.
  • Experiment with different camera angles or visual techniques to enhance the cinematic impact of the 'flying' moment and the passionate kiss.



Scene 32 -  Jack Draws Rose
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
103 INT. ROSE'S SUITE 103

... 1912. Like in a dream the beautiful woodwork and satin
upholstery emerge from the rusted ruin. Jack is overwhelmed
by the opulence of the room. He sets his sketchbood and
drawing materials on the marble table.

ROSE
Will this light do? Don't artists
need good light?

JACK
(bad French accent)
Zat is true, I am not used to
working in such 'orreeble
conditions.
(seeing the paintings)
Hey... Monet!

He crouches next to the paintings stacked against the wall.




(CONTINUED)
87.
103 CONTINUED: 103


JACK
Isn't he great... the use of color? I
saw him once... through a hole in this
garden fence in Giverny.

She goes into the adjoining walk-in wardrobe closet. He
sees her go to the safe and start working the combination.
He's fascinated.

ROSE
Cal insist on luggin this thing
everywhere.

JACK
Should I be expecting him anytime
soon?

ROSE
Not as long as the cigars and brandy
hold out.

CLUNK! She unlocks the safe. Glancing up, she meets his
eyes in the mirror behind the safe. She opens it and
removes the necklace, then holds it out to Jack who takes it
nervously.

JACK
What is it? A sapphire?

ROSE
A diamond. A very rare diamond,
called the Heart of the Ocean.

Jack gazes at wealth beyond his comprehension.

ROSE
I want you to draw me like your
French girl. Wearing this.
(she smiles at him)
Wearing only this.

He looks up at her, surprised, and we CUT TO:

104 ROSE'S BEDROOM. ON THE BUTTERFLY COMB as Rose draws it
out of her hair. She shakes her head and her hair falls
free around her shoulders.

105 IN THE SITTING ROOM Jack is laying out his pencils like
surgical tools. His sketchbook is open and ready. He looks
up as she comes into the room, wearing a silk kimono.




(CONTINUED)
88.
103 CONTINUED: (2) 103


ROSE
The last thing I need is another
picture of me looking like a china
doll. As a paying customer, I
expect to get what I want.

She hands him a dime and steps back, parting the kimono.
The blue stone lies on her creamy breast. Her heart is
pounding as she slowly lowers the robe.

Jakc looks so stricken, it is almost comical. The kimono
drops to the floor (this is all in cuts, lyrical).

ROSE
Tell me when it looks right to you.

She poses on the divan, settling like a cat into the
position we remember from the drawing... almost.

JACK
Uh... just bend your left leg a
little and... and lower your head.
Eyes to me. That's it.

Jack starts to sketch. He drops his pencil and she stifles
a laugh.

ROSE
I believe you are blushing, Mr. Big
Artiste. I can't imagine Monsieur
Monet blushing.

JACK
(sweating)
He does landscapes.

TIGHT ON JACK as his eyes come up to look at her over the
top edge of his sketchpad. We have seen this image of him
before, in her memory. It is an image she will carry the
rest of her life.

Despite his nervousness, he draws with sure strokes, and
what emerges is the best thing he has ever done. Her pose
is languid, her hands beautiful, and her eyes radiate her
energy.

PUSH SLOWLY IN ON ROSE'S FACE...

TRANSITION:
89.



106 INT. KELDYSH / IMAGING SHACK 106

MATCH DISSOLVE/MORPH to Rose, 101 years old. Only her eyes
are the same.

OLD ROSE
My heart was pounding the whole
time. It was the most erotic moment of
my life... up till then at least.

CUT TO REVERSE: A semicircle of listeners staring in rapt,
frozen silence. The story of Jack and Rose has finally and
completely grabbed them.

BODINE
What, uh... happened next?

OLD ROSE
(smiling)
You mean, did we "do it"?

CUT TO:

107 INT. ROSE AND CAL'S SUITE - NIGHT 107

BACK TO 1912. Jack is signing the drawing. Rose, wearing
her kimono again, is leaning on his shoulder, watching.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
Sorry to disappoint you Mr. Bodine.

Rose gazes at the drawing. He has X-rayed her soul.

ROSE
Date it, Jack. I want to always
remember this night.

He does: 4/14/1912. Rose meanwhile scribbles a note on a
piece of Titanic stationary. We don't see what it says.
She accepts the drawing from him, and crosses to the safe in
the wardrobe.

She puts the diamond back in the safe, placing hte drawing
and the note on top of it. Closes the door with a CLUNK!

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Jack and Rose are in Rose's suite on the Titanic in 1912. Jack is overwhelmed by the opulence, but Rose asks him to draw her wearing only the Heart of the Ocean diamond necklace. Jack agrees, and he begins to sketch her. Rose poses on the divan, and Jack drops his pencil. She stifles a laugh, and he tells her to bend her leg and lower her head. He continues to draw, and the sketch becomes the best thing he has ever done. Rose is pleased and asks him to date it. He does, and she puts the drawing and a note on top of the diamond necklace in the safe.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Romantic tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in romantic storyline
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between the opulence of Rose's suite and the intimacy between Jack and Rose.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose is engaging and reveals their dynamic and chemistry.
  • The visual descriptions create a vivid picture of the setting and the characters' actions.
  • The transition from the past to the present adds depth to the storytelling and keeps the audience engaged.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and anticipation, especially with the drawing of Rose wearing the Heart of the Ocean necklace.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Jack and Rose's interaction to further engage the audience.
  • Explore ways to enhance the visual storytelling, such as using lighting and camera angles to create a more cinematic feel.
  • Provide more insight into Rose's internal conflict and emotional journey during the scene.
  • Consider incorporating subtle symbolism or motifs to enhance the themes of love, sacrifice, and freedom.
  • Ensure a seamless transition between the past and present timelines to maintain the flow of the narrative.



Scene 33 -  Escape in the Boiler Rooms
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
108 INT. FIRST CLASS SMOKING ROOM - NIGHT 108

Lovejoy enters from the Palm Court through the revolving
door and crosses the room toward Hockley.



(CONTINUED)
90.
108 CONTINUED: 108

A fire is blazing in the marble fireplace, and the usual
fatcats are playing cards, drinking and talking. Cal sees
Lovejoy and detaches from his group, coming to him.

LOVEJOY
None of the stewards have seen her.

CAL
(low but forceful)
This is ridiculous, Lovejoy. Find
her.

CUT TO:

109 EXT. ATLANTIC - NIGHT 109

TITANIC glides across an unnatural sea, blakc and calm as a
pool of oil. The ships lights are mirrored almost perfectly
in the black water. The sky is brilliant with stars. A
meteor traces a bright line across the heavens.

110 ON THE BRIDGE, Captain Smith peers out at the blackness
ahead of the ship. QUARTERMASTER HITCHINS brings him a cup
of hot tea with lemon. It steams in the bitter cold of the
open bridge. Second Officer Lightoller is next to him,
staring out at the sheet of black glass the Atlantic has
become.

LIGHTOLLER
I don't think I've ever seen such a
flat calm, in 24 years at sea.

SMITH
Yes, like a mill pond. Not a breath of
wind.

LIGHTOLLER
It's make the bergs harder to see,
with no breaking water at the base.

SMITH
Mmmmm. Well, I'm off. Maintain
speed and heading, Mr. Lightoller.

LIGHTOLLER
Yes sir.

SMITH
And wake me, of course, if anything
becomes in the slightest degree
doubtful.

CUT TO:
91.



111 INT. ROSE AND CAL'S SUITE 111

Rose, fully dressed now, returns to the sitting room. They
hear a key in the lock. Rose takes Jack's hand and leads
him silently through the bedrooms. Lovejoy enters by the
sitting room door.

LOVEJOY
Miss Rose? Hello?

He hears a door opening and goes through Cal's room toward
hers.

CUT TO:

112 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE 112

Rose and Jack come out of her stateroom, closing the door.
She leads him quickly along the corridor toward the B deck
foyer. They are halfway across the open space when the
sitting room door opens in the corridor and Lovejoy comes
out. The valet sees Jack with Rose and hustles after them.

ROSE
Come on!

She and Jack break into a run, surprising the few ladies and
gentlemen about. Rose leads him past the stairs to the bank
of elevators. They run into one, shocking the hell out of
the OPERATOR.

ROSE
Take us down. Quickly, quickly!

The Operator scrambles to comply. Jack even helps him close
the steel gate. Lovejoy runs up as the lift starts to
descend. He slams one hand on the bars of the gate. Rose
makes a very rude and unladylike gesture, and laughs as
Lovejoy disappears above. The Operator gapes at her.

CUT TO:

113 INT. E-DECK FOYER / ELEVATORS 113

Lovejoy emerges from another lift and runs to the one Jack
and Rose were in. The Operator is just closing the gate to
go back up. Lovejoy runs around the bank of elevators and
scans the foyer... no Jack and Rose. He tries the stairs
going down to F-Deck.

CUT TO:
92.



114 INT. F-DECK CORRIDORS / FAN ROOM 114

A functional space, with access to a number of machine
spaces (fan rooms, boiler uptakes). Jack and Rose are
leaning against a wall, laughing.

JACK
Pretty tough for a valet, this
fella.

ROSE
He's an ex-Pinkerton. Cal's father
hired him to keep Cal out of
trouble... to make sure he always got
back to the hotel with his wallet
and watch, after some crawl through
the less reputable parts of town...

JACK
Kinda like we're doin' right now-- uh
oh!

Lovejoy has spotted them from a cross-corridor nearby. He
charges toward them. Jack and Rose run around a corner into
a blind alley. There is one door, marked CREW ONLY, and
Jack flings it open.

115 They enter a roaring RAN ROOM, with no way out but a
ladder going down. Jack latches the deadbolt on the door,
and Lovejoy slams against it a moment later. Jack grins at
Rose, pointing to the ladder.

JACK
After you, m'lady.

CUT TO:

116 INT. BOILER ROOM FIVE AND SIX 116

Jack and Rose come down the escape ladder and look around in
amazement. It is like a vision of hell itself, with the
roaring furnaces and black figures moving in the smoky glow.
They run the length of the boiler room, dodging amazed
stokers, and trimmers with their wheelbarrows of coal.

JACK
(shouting over the din)
Carry on! Don't mind us!

They run through the open watertight door into BOILER ROOM
SIX. Jack pulls her through the fiercely hot alley between
two boilers and they wind up in the dark, out of sight of
the working crew.

(CONTINUED)
93.
116 CONTINUED: 116

Watching from the shadows, they see the stokers working in
the hellish glow, shovelling coal into the insatiable
maws of the furnaces. The whole place thunders with the
roar of the fires.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Adventure"]

Summary Lovejoy, an ex-Pinkerton, pursues Rose and Jack through the Titanic's boiler rooms. Amidst roaring furnaces and soot-covered workers, Rose and Jack evade capture until they disappear into the darkness.
Strengths
  • Engaging plot
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Romantic moments
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the First Class Smoking Room to the exterior of the ship, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Lightoller and Smith on the bridge feels a bit forced and expository, lacking in naturalness.
  • The chase sequence between Lovejoy, Jack, and Rose feels rushed and lacks tension, with Lovejoy easily losing track of them.
  • The transition to the boiler room is sudden and lacks a smooth connection to the previous events, disrupting the flow of the scene.
  • The setting of the boiler room is vividly described, but the significance of Jack and Rose's presence in this location is not clear.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the different locations to improve the coherence of the scene.
  • Work on making the dialogue more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.
  • Enhance the tension and stakes in the chase sequence to make it more engaging for the audience.
  • Provide a clearer reason or motivation for Jack and Rose to end up in the boiler room to ensure the relevance of this setting to the overall story.
  • Consider adding more character development or interaction in the boiler room to deepen the impact of this location on the characters.



Scene 34 -  Luxury, Passion, and Impending Danger
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
117 INT. FIRST CLASS SMOKING ROOM 117

Amid unparalled luxury, Cal sits at a card game, sipping
brandy.

COLONEL GRACIE
We're going like hell I tel you. I
have fifty dollars that says we make it
into New York Tuesday night!

Cal looks at his gold pocket watch, and scowls, not
listening.

CUT TO:

118 OMITTED 118

119 INT. BOILER ROOM SIX 119

The furnaces roar, silhouetting the glistening stokers.
Jack kisses Rose's face, tasting the sweat trickling down
from her forehead. They kiss passionately in the steamy,
pounding darkness.

CUT TO:

120 INT. HOLD #2 120

Jack and Rose enter and run laughing between the rows of
stacked cargo. She hugs herself against the cold, after the
dripping heat of the boiler room.

They come upon William Carter's brand new RENAULT touring
car, lashing down to a pallet. It looks like a royal coach
from a fairy tale, its brass trim and headlamps nicely set
off by its deep burgundy color.

Rose climbs into the plushly upholstered back seat, acting
very royal. There are cut crystals bud vases on the walls
back there, each containing a rose. Jack jumps into the
driver's seat, enjoying hte feel of the leather and wood.

JACK
Where to, Miss?

ROSE
To the stars.

(CONTINUED)
94.
120 CONTINUED: 120


ON JACK as her hands come out of the shadows and pull him
over the seat into the back. He lands next to her, and his
breath seems loud in the quiet darkness. He looks at her
and she is smiling. It is the moment of truth.

JACK
Are you nervous?

ROSE
Au contraire, mon cher.

He strokes her face, cherishing her. She kisses his
artist's fingers.

ROSE
Put your hands on me Jack.

He kisses her, and she slides down in the seat under his
welcome weight.

CUT TO:

121 INT. WIRELESS ROOM 121

A BRILLIANT ARC OF ELECTRICITY fills frame-- the sparks gap
of the Marconi instrument as SENIOR WIRELESS OPERATOR JACK
PHILLIPS (24) rapidly keys out a message. Junior Operator
Bride looks through the huge stack of outgoing messages
swamping them.

BRIDE
Look at this one, he wants his
private train to meet him. La dee da.
(slaps them down)
We'll be up all bloody night on this
lot.

Phillips start to receive an incoming message from a nearby
ship, the Leyland frieghter CALIFORNIAN, which jams his
outgoing signal. At such close range, the beeps are
deafening.

PHILLIPS
Christ! It's that idiot on the
Californian.

Cursing, Phillips furiously keys a rebuke.

CUT TO:
95.



122 INT. / EXT. WIRELESS SHAK / FREIGHTER CALIFORNIAN 122

Wireless Operater CYRIL EVANS pulls his earphone off his ear
as the Titanic's spark deafens him. he translates the
message for THIRD OFFICER GROVES.

EVANS
Stupid bastard. I try to warn him
about the ice, and he says "Keep
out. Shut up. I'm working Cape
Race."

GROVES
Now what's he sending?

EVANS
"No seasickness. Poker business
good. Al". Well that's it for me. I'm
shutting down.

As Evans wearily switches off his generator, Groves goes out
on deck. PAN oFF Him to reveal the ship is stopped fifty
yards from the edge of a field of pack ice and icebergs
stretching as far as the eye can see.

CUT TO:

123 EXT. OCEAN / TITANIC 123

ON TITANIC, steaming hellbent through the darkness, hurling
up white water at the bows. The bow comes straight at us,
until the bow wave WIPES THE FRAME--

CUT TO:

124 INT. HOLD #2 124

PUSHING IN on the rear window of the Renault, which is
completely fogged up. Rose's hand comes up and slams
against the glass for a moment, making a handprint in the
veil of condensation.

INSIDE THE CAR, Jack's overcoat is liek a blanket over them.
It stirs and Rose pulls it down. They are huddled under it,
intertwined, still mostly clothed. Their faces are flushed
and they look at each other wonderingly. She puts her hand
on his face, as if making sure he is real.

ROSE
You're trembling.

JACK
It's okay. I'm alright.

(CONTINUED)
96.
124 CONTINUED: 124


He lays his cheek against her chest.

JACK
I can feel your heart beating.

She hugs his head to her chest, and just holds on for dear
life.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
Well, I wasn't the first teenage
girl to get seduced in the backseat of
a car, and certainly not the last,
by several million. He had such fine
hands, artists' hands, but strong
too... roughened by work. I remember
their touch even now.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Cal plays cards and sips brandy in the first-class smoking room, while Jack and Rose share intimate moments in the boiler room and a luxurious car in the hold. The wireless operators receive messages warning about ice, adding an element of impending danger to the scene. The emotional tone is a mix of luxury, passion, and impending danger, with key dialogue highlighting the characters' desires and the operators' tense communication. The scene ends with Jack and Rose huddled together in the car, sharing a tender moment.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Romantic tension
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in some interactions
Critique
  • The transition from the luxurious First Class Smoking Room to the intimate and steamy Boiler Room Six is abrupt and lacks a smooth transition. The shift in tone and setting could be better executed to create a more seamless flow in the scene.
  • The sudden change in location to Hold #2 with the Renault touring car feels disjointed and disconnected from the previous scenes. The introduction of the car and the playful interaction between Jack and Rose could be better integrated into the overall narrative to maintain coherence.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose in the car lacks depth and emotional resonance. It feels superficial and does not effectively convey the intimacy and connection between the characters. More meaningful and impactful dialogue could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The scene in the Wireless Room on the Californian lacks context and relevance to the main storyline. The inclusion of this subplot feels unnecessary and distracts from the central focus on Jack and Rose. Streamlining the narrative to focus on the core characters would improve the scene's cohesion.
  • The transition back to the Titanic and the impending collision with the iceberg is jarring and disrupts the flow of the scene. The shift in focus from the intimate moment between Jack and Rose to the imminent disaster on the ship could be better integrated to maintain a cohesive narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the scene transitions to create a more seamless flow between the different locations and plot points. Smooth transitions will help maintain the audience's engagement and enhance the overall storytelling.
  • Develop the dialogue between Jack and Rose in the car to deepen their emotional connection and add layers to their relationship. Meaningful and authentic dialogue can elevate the scene and make it more impactful.
  • Evaluate the relevance of the subplot in the Wireless Room on the Californian and consider whether it adds value to the main storyline. Streamlining the narrative to focus on the central characters and plot points will improve the scene's coherence.
  • Integrate the impending disaster on the Titanic more effectively into the scene to create a sense of tension and urgency. Balancing the intimate moments between Jack and Rose with the looming threat of the iceberg collision will enhance the scene's dramatic impact.
  • Ensure that each element of the scene serves a purpose in advancing the plot or developing the characters. Eliminate any extraneous details or subplots that do not contribute to the overall narrative to maintain focus and clarity.



Scene 35 -  Freezing Night on the Titanic
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
125 EXT. ATLANTIC / TITANIC - NIGHT 125

The bow sweeps under us, and the CAMERA CLIMBS toward the
foremast and the tiny half-cylinder of the crow's nest,
which grows as we push in on lookouts Fleet and Lee. They
are stamping their feet and swinging their arms, trying to
keep warm in the 22 knot freezing wind, which whips capor of
their breath away behind.

FLEET
You can smell ice, you know, when
it's near.

LEE
Bollocks.

FLEET
Well I can.

CUT TO:

126 INT. BOILER ROOM SIX 126

Without hearing hte words over the roar of the furnaces, we
see stokers telling TWO STEWARDS which way Rose and Jack
went. The stewards move off toward the forward holds.

CUT TO:

127 INT. CAL AND ROSE'S SUITE 127

Cal stands at the open safe. He stares at the drawing of
Rose and his face clenches with fury.


(CONTINUED)
97.
127 CONTINUED: 127

He reads the not again: "DARLING, NOW YOU CAN KEEP US BOTH
LOCKED IN YOUR SAFE, ROSE".

Lovejoy, standing behind him, looks over his shoulder at the
drawing. Cal crumples Rose's not, then takes the drawing in
both hands as if to rip it in half. He tenses to do it,
then stops himself.

CAL
I have a better idea.

CUT TO:

128 INT. HOLD #2 - NIGHT 128

The two stewards enter. They have electric torches and play
the beams around the hold. They spot the Renault with its
fogged up rear window and approach it slowly.

FROM INSIDE we see the torch light up Rose's passionate
handprint, still there on the fogged up glass. One steward
whips open the door.

STEWARD
Got yer!

REVERSE: the back seat is empty.

CUT TO:

129 EXT. FORWARD WELL DECK AND CROW'S NEST - NIGHT 129

Rose and Jack, fully dressed, come through a crew door onto
the deck. They can barely stand, they are laughing so hard.

UP ABOVE THEM, IN THE CROW'S NEST, lookout Fleet hears the
disturbance below and looks around and back down to the well
deck, where he can see two figures embracing.

Jack and Rose stand in each others arms. Their breath
clouds around them in the now freezing air, but they don't
even feel the cold.

ROSE
When this ship docks, I'm getting off
with you.

JACK
This is crazy.

ROSE
I know. It doesn't make any sense.
That's why I trust it.


(CONTINUED)
98.
129 CONTINUED: 129


Jack pulls her to him and kisses her fiercely.

130 IN THE CROW'S NEST Fleet nudges Lee.

FLEET
Cor... look at that, would ya.

LEE
They're a bloody sight warmer than we
are.

FLEET
Well if that's what it takes for us two
to get warm, I'd rather not, if it's all
the same.

They both have a good laugh at that one. It is Fleet whose
expression falls first. Glancing forward again, he does a
double take. The color drains out of his face.

FLEET'S POV: a massive iceberg right in their path, 500
yards out.

FLEET
Bugger me!!

Fleet reaches past Lee and rings the lookout bell three
times, then grabs the telephone, calling the bridge. He
waits precious seconds for it to be picket up, never taking
his eyes off the black mass ahead.

FLEET
Pick up, ya bastard.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Romance","Drama","Adventure"]

Summary Lookouts Fleet and Lee argue over the presence of ice, while stewards search for Rose and Jack. Amidst the chaos, Rose and Jack find a moment of intimacy on the well deck. High in the crow's nest, Fleet spots an iceberg and rings the alarm, met with ominous silence from the bridge.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging plot twists
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential predictability in some romantic moments
  • Slight cliches in dialogue
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the lookouts in the crow's nest to the boiler room to Cal and Rose's suite, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The tension and conflict in the scene are not clearly established or resolved. Fleet's realization of the iceberg is a significant moment, but it could be heightened with more build-up and suspense.
  • The interaction between Cal and Lovejoy in the suite lacks depth and emotion. Cal's reaction to the drawing and note could be more impactful to show his inner turmoil.
  • The search for Rose and Jack in hold #2 feels rushed and lacks tension. The reveal of the empty car could be more suspenseful.
  • The transition to Jack and Rose on the well deck is sudden and could benefit from a smoother segue to maintain the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive flow between the different locations and characters.
  • Build up the tension and conflict surrounding the iceberg sighting to create a more suspenseful and engaging moment.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of Cal's reaction to the drawing and note to add complexity to his character.
  • Add more suspense and intrigue to the search for Rose and Jack in hold #2 to create a more gripping reveal of the empty car.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different parts of the scene to improve the overall pacing and coherence.



Scene 36 -  Titanic Hits Iceberg
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
131 INT. / EXT. BRIDGE 131

Inside the enclosed wheelhous, SIXTH OFFICER MOODY walks
unhurriedly to the telephone, picking it up.

FLEET (V.O.)
Is someone there?

MOODY
Yes. What do you see?

FLEET
Iceberg right ahead!




(CONTINUED)
99.
131 CONTINUED: 131


MOODY
Thankyou.
(hangs up, calls to Murdoch)
Iceberg right ahead!

Murdoch sees it and rushes to the engine room telegraph.
While signaling "FULL SPEED ASTERN" he yells to
Quartermaster Hitchins, who is at the wheel.

MURDOCH
Hard a' starboard.

MOODY
(standing behind Hitchins)
Hard'a starboard. The helm is hard
over, sir.

CRASH SEQUENCE / SERIES OF
CUTS:

132 CHIEF ENGINEER BELL is just checking the soup he has
warming on a steam manifold when the engine telegraph
clangs, then goes... incredibly... to FULL SPEED ASTERN. He
and the other ENGINEERS just stare at it a second,
unbelieving. Then Bell reacts.

BELL
Full astern! FULL ASTERN!!

The engineers and greasers like madmen to close steam valves
and start braking the mighty propeller shafts, big as
Sequias, to a stop.

133 IN BOILER ROOM SIX, Leading Stoker FREDERICK BARRETT is
standing with 2nd Engineer JAMES HESKETH when the red
warning light and "STOP" indicator come on.

BARRETT
Shut all dampers! Shut 'em!!

134 FROM THE BRIDGE Murdoch watches the burg growing...
straight ahead. The bow finally starts to come left (since
the ship turns the reverse of the helm setting).

MURDOCH'S jaw clenches as the bow turns with agonizing
slowness. He holds his breath as the horrible physics play
out.

135 IN THE CROW'S NEST Frederick Fleet braces himself.

136 THE BOW OF THE SHIP thunders right at CAMERA and--

KRUUUNCH!! The ship hits the berg on its starboard bow.

(CONTINUED)
100.
131 CONTINUED: (2) 131


137 UNDERWATER we see the ice smashing in the steel hull
plates. The iceberg bumps and scrapes along the side of the
ship. Rivets pop as the steel plate of the hull flexes
under the load.

138 IN #2 HOLD the two stewards stagger as the hull buckles
in four feet with a sound like THUNDER. Like a sledgehammer
beating along outside the ship, the berg splits the hull
plates and the sea pour in, sweeping them off their feert.
The icy water swirls around the Renault as the men scramble
for the stairs.

139 ON G-DECK forward Fabrizio is tossed in his bunk by the
impact. He hears a sound like the greatly amplified squeal
of a skate on ice.

140 IN BOILER ROOM SIX Barret and Hesketh stagger as they
hear the ROLLING THUNDER of the collision. They see the
starboard side of the ship buckle in toward them and are
almost swept off their feet by a rush of water coming in
about two feet above the floor.

141 ON THE FORWARD WELL DECK Jack and Rose break their kiss
and look up in astonishment as the berg sails past, blocking
out the sky like a mountain. Fragments break off it and
crash down onto the deck, and they have to jump back to
avoid flying chunks of ice.

142 ON THE BRIDGE Murdoch rings the watertight door alarm.
He quicky throws the switch that closes them.

MURDOCH
Hard a 'port!

Judging the berg to be amidships, he is trying to clear the
stern.

143 BARRETT AND HESKETH hear the DOOR ALARM and scramble
through the swirling water to the watertight door between
Boiler Rooms 6 and 5. The room is full of water vapor as
the cold sea strikes the red hot furnaces. Barrett yells to
the stokers scrambling through the door as it comes down
like a slow guillotine.

BARRETT
Go Lads! Go! Go!

He dives through into Boiler Room 5 just before the door
rumbles down with a CLANG.

144 JACK AND ROSE rush to the starboard rail in time to see
the berg moving aft down the side of the ship.


(CONTINUED)
101.
131 CONTINUED: (3) 131


145 In his stateroom, surrounded by piles of plans while
making notes in his ever-present book, Andrews looks up at
the sound of a cut-crystal light fixture tinkling like a
windchime.

He feels the shudder run through the ship. And we see it in
his face. Too much of his soul is in this great ship for
him not to feel its mortal wound.

146 IN THE FIRST CLASS SMOKING ROOM Gracie watches his
highball vibrating on the table.

147 IN THE PALM COURT, with its high arched windows, Molly
Brown holds up her drink to a passing waiter.

MOLLY
Hey, can I get some ice here,
please?

Silently, a moving wall of ice fills the window behind her.
She doesn't see it. It disappears astern.

148 OMITTED 148

149 IN THE CROW'S NEST Fleet turns to his Lee...

FLEET
Oy, mate... that was a close shave.

LEE
Smell ice, can you? Bleedin'
Christ!

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Despite a warning, the ship collides with an iceberg, damaging the hull and flooding compartments.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic reactions
  • Emotional depth
  • Historical accuracy
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development due to focus on the crisis
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as the iceberg is spotted and the ship tries to avoid a collision.
  • The use of multiple locations on the Titanic adds depth to the scene and showcases the chaos and urgency of the situation.
  • The visual descriptions of the impact of the iceberg on the ship, from the hull plates flexing to the rushing water, are vivid and engaging.
  • The reactions of the characters, such as Chief Engineer Bell and Leading Stoker Barrett, add to the sense of impending disaster.
  • The scene effectively conveys the escalating danger and the frantic efforts to prevent the ship from sinking.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the impact of the scene.
  • Explore the sensory details further to immerse the audience in the chaos and urgency of the situation.
  • Ensure the dialogue reflects the escalating tension and urgency of the moment.
  • Consider incorporating more character interactions to show how they are affected by the unfolding crisis.
  • Continue to build on the visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 37 -  Aftermath of the Collision
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
150 INT. / EXT. BRIDGE 150

CLOSE ON MURDOCH. The alarm bells still clatter mindlessly,
seeming to reflect his inner state. He is in shock, unable
to get a grip on what just happened. He just ran the
biggest ship in history into an iceberg on its maiden
voyage.

MURDOCH
(stiffly, to Moody)
Note the time. Enter it in the log.

Captain Smith rushes out of his cabin onto the bridge,
tucking in his shirt.

SMITH
What was that, Mr. Murdoch?


(CONTINUED)
102.
150 CONTINUED: 150


MURDOCH
An iceberg, sir. I put her hard a'
starboard and run the engines full
astern, but it was too close. I
tried to port around it, but she
hi... and I--

SMITH
Close the emergency doors.

MURDOCH
The doors are closed.

Together they rush out onto the starboard wing, and Murdoch
points. Smith looks into the darkness aft, then wheels
around to FOURTH OFFICER BOHALL.

SMITH
Find the Carpenter and get him to
sound the ship.

CUT TO:

151 INT. G-DECK FORWARD 151

In steerage, Fabrizio comes out into the hall to see what's
going on. He sees dozens of rats running toward him in the
corridor, fleeing the flooding bow. Fabrizio jumps aside as
the rats run by.

FABRIZIO
Ma-- che cazzo!

152 IN HIS STATEROOM Tommy gets out of his top bunk in the
dark and drops down to the floor. SPLASH!!

TOMMMY
Cor!! What in hell--?!

He naps on the light. The floor is covered with 3 inches of
freezing water, and more coming in. He pulls the door open,
and steps out into the corridor, which is flooded. Fabrizio
is running toward him, yelling something in Italian. Tommy
and Fabrizio start pounding on doors, getting everybody up
and out. The alarm spreads in several languages.

CUT TO:

153 INT. FIRST CLASS CORRIDOR / A-DECK 153

A couple of people have come out into the corridor in robes
and slippers. A STeWARD hurries along, reassuring them.


(CONTINUED)
103.
153 CONTINUED: 153


WOMAN
Why have the engines stopped? I
felt a shudder?

STEWARD #1
I shouldn't worry, m'am. We've
likely thrown a propeller blade,
that's the shudder you felt. May I
bring you anything?

THOMAS ANDREWS brushes past them, walking fast and carrying
an armload of rolled up ship's plans.

CUT TO:

154 EXT. FORWARD WELL DECK 154

Jack and Rose are leaning over the starboard rail, looking
at the hull of the ship.

JACK
Looks okay. I don't see anything.

ROSE
Could it have damaged the ship?

JACK
It didn't seem like much of a bump. I'm
sure we're okay.

Behind them a couple of steerage guys are kicking the ice
around the deck, laughing.

CUT TO:

155 INT. STEERAGE FORWARD 155

Fabrizio and Tommy are in a crowd of steerage men clogging
the corridors, heading aft away from the flooding. Many of
them have grabbed suitcases and duffel bags, some of which
are soaked.

TOMMY
If this is the direction the rats
were runnin', it's good enough for me.

CUT TO:

156 INT. CORRIDOR ON B DECK 156

Bruce Ismay, dressed in pajamas under the topcoat, hurries
down the corridor, headed for the bridge.


(CONTINUED)
104.
156 CONTINUED: 156

An officious steward named BARNES comes along the
other direction, getting the few concerned passengers back
into their rooms.

STEWARD BARNES
There's no cause for alarm. Please, go
back to your rooms.

He is stopped in his tracks by Cal and Lovejoy.

STEWARD BARNES
Please, sir. There's no emergency--

CAL
Yes there is, I have been robbed. Now
get the Master at Arms. Now you moron!

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary After the Titanic hits an iceberg, Murdoch reports the incident to Captain Smith. Emergency doors are closed and the Carpenter is summoned. Passengers in steerage and first class are alerted to the flooding and potential damage. Rats flee the sinking bow, and Jack and Rose inspect the hull. Ismay arrives on the bridge, while Cal and Lovejoy confront a steward about a robbery.
Strengths
  • Building tension and suspense
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and panic
  • Emotional impact on the audience
Weaknesses
  • Possible lack of in-depth character development in the midst of the crisis
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and urgency of the situation after the Titanic hits the iceberg.
  • The dialogue between Murdoch and Smith helps to establish the severity of the situation and Murdoch's sense of responsibility.
  • The scene transitions smoothly between different locations on the ship, providing a comprehensive view of the unfolding events.
  • The visual descriptions of flooding corridors, freezing water, and panicked passengers add to the tension and atmosphere of the scene.
  • The interactions between characters like Fabrizio, Tommy, Ismay, and Cal help to show the varied reactions and responses to the crisis.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the impact of the scene.
  • Provide more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion in the setting and atmosphere.
  • Explore the psychological impact of the disaster on the characters to add depth to their reactions and decisions.
  • Ensure the pacing of the scene is consistent to maintain the tension and urgency of the situation.
  • Consider incorporating more interactions between characters to highlight their relationships and dynamics during the crisis.



Scene 38 -  Ship Hits Ice and Takes on Water
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
157 INT. BRIDGE / CHARTROOM 157

C.U. CAPTAIN SMITH studying the commutator.

He turns to Andrews, standing behind him.

SMITH
A five degree list in less than ten
minutes.

SHIP'S CARPENTER JOHN HUTCHINSON enters behind him, out of
breath and clearly unnerved.

HUTCHINSON
She's making water fast... in the
forepeak tank and the forward holds, in
boiler room six.

ISMAY enters, his movements quick with anger and
frustration. Smith glances at him with annoyance.

ISMAY
Why have we stopped?

SMITH
We've struck ice.

ISMAY
Well, do you think the ship is
seriously damaged?

SMITH
(glaring)
Excuse me.


(CONTINUED)
105.
157 CONTINUED: 157


Smith pushes past him, with Andrews and Hutchinson in tow.

CUT TO:

158 INT. BOILER ROOM 6 158

Strokers and firemen are struggling to draw the fires. They
are working in waist deep water churning around as it flows
into the boiler room, ice cold and swirling with grease from
the machinery. Chief Engineer Bell comes partway down the
ladder and shouts.

BELL
That's it, lads. Get the hell up!

They scramble up the escape ladders.

CUT TO:

159 EXT. B-DECK FORWARD / WELL DECK 159

The gentlemen, now joined by another man, leans on the
forward rail watching the steerage men playing soccer with
chunks of ice.

GENTLEMAN
I guess it's nothing too serious. I'm
going back to my cabin to read.

A 20ish YALE MAN pops through the door wearing a topcoat
over pajamas.

YALEY
Say, did I miss the fun?

Rose and Jack come up the steps from the well deck, which
are right next to the three men. They stare as the couple
climbs over the locked gate.

A moment later Captain Smith rounds the corner, followed by
Andrews and Carpenter Hutchinson. They have come down from
the bridge by the outside stairs. The three men, their
faces grim, crush right past Jack and Rose. Andrews barely
glances at her.

SMITH
Can you shore up?

HUTCHINSON
Not unless the pumps get ahead.

The inspection party goes down the stairs to the well deck.


(CONTINUED)
106.
159 CONTINUED: 159


JACK
(low, to her)
It's bad.

ROSE
We have to tell Mother and Cal.

JACK
Now it's worse.

ROSE
Come with me, Jack. I jump, you
jump... Right?

JACK
Right.

Jack follows Rose through the door inside the ship.

CUT TO:

160 INT. B-DECK FOYER / CORRIDOR 160

Jack and Rose cross the foyer, entering the corridor.
Lovejoy is waiting for them in the hall as they approach the
room.

LOVEJOY
We've been looking for you miss.

Lovejoy follows and, unseen, moves close behind Jack and
smoothly slips the diamond necklace into the pocket of his
overcoat.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary After striking ice, the ship begins to take on water rapidly. The captain and crew assess the damage, while a concerned passenger inquires about its severity. Jack and Rose witness the seriousness of the situation and fear for the safety of the ship and its passengers. Amidst the chaos, a thief seizes the opportunity to steal a valuable diamond necklace.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful pacing
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly cliched or melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the bridge to the boiler room to the well deck, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in the characters' reactions to the ship hitting the iceberg and the subsequent damage.
  • The dialogue feels a bit stiff and lacks natural flow, especially in the interactions between Ismay, Smith, and the other characters.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid to create a stronger sense of urgency and tension in the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved to build suspense and engage the audience more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional reactions from the characters to convey the gravity of the situation.
  • Work on smoothing out the dialogue to make it sound more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting for the scene.
  • Focus on the pacing of the scene to build tension and keep the audience engaged throughout.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless flow between the different locations and characters.



Scene 39 -  Confrontation and Arrest
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
161 INT. ROSE AND CAL'S SUITE 161

Cal and Ruth wait in the sitting room, along with the Master
at Arms and two stewards (Steward #1 and Barnes). Silence
as Rose and Jack enter. Ruth closes her robe at her throat
when she sees Jack.

ROSE
Something serious has happened.

CAL
That's right. Two things dear to me
have disappeared this evening. Now
that one is back...
(he looks from Rose to Jack)
... I have a pretty good idea where to
fine the other.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
107.
161 CONTINUED: 161
CAL (cont'd)
(to Master at Arms)
Search him.

The Master at Arms steps up to Jack.

MASTER AT ARMS
Coat off, mate.

Lovejoy pulls at Jack's coat and Jack shakes his head in
dismay, shrugging out of it. The Master at Arms pats him
down.

JACK
This is horseshit.

ROSE
Cal, you can't be serious! We're in the
middle of an emergency and you--

Steward Barnes pulls the Heart of the Ocean out of the
pocket of Jack's coat.

STEWARD BARNES
Is this it?

Rose is stunned. Needless to say, so is Jack.

CAL
That's it.

MASTER AT ARMS
Right then. Now don't make a fuss.

He starts to handcuff Jack.

JACK
Don't you believe it, Rose. Don't!

ROSE
(uncertain)
He couldn't have.

CAL
Of course he could. Easy enough for a
professional. He memorized the
combination when you opend the safe.

FLASHBACK: Rose at the safe, looking in the mirror and
meeting Jack's eyes as he stands behind her, watching.

ROSE
But I was with him the whole time.



(CONTINUED)
108.
161 CONTINUED: (2) 161


CAL
(just to her, low and cold)
Maybe he did it while you were
putting your clothes back on.

JACK
They put it in my pocket!

LOVEJOY
(holding Jack's coat)
It's not even your pocket, son.
(reading)
"Property of A. L. Ryerson".

Lovejoy shows the coat to the Master at Arms. There is a
label inside the collar with the owner's name.

MASTER AT ARMS
That was reported stolen today.

JACK
I was going to return it! Rose--

Rose feels utterly betrayed, hurt and confused. She shrinks
away from him. He starts shouting to her as Lovejoy and the
Master at Arms drag him out into the hall. She can't look
him in the eye.

JACK
Rose, don't listen to them... I
didn't do this! You know I didn't! You
know it!

She is devastated. Her mother lays a comforting hand on her
shoulder as te tears well up.

RUTH
Why do women believe men?

CUT TO:

162 INT. MAIL SORTING ROOM / HOLD 162

Smith and Andrews come down the steps to the Mail Sorting
Room and finds the clerks scrambling to pull mail from the
racks. They are furiously hauling wet sacks of mail up from
the hold below.

Andrews climbs partway down the stairs to the hold, which is
almost full. Sacks of mail float everywhere. The lights
are still on below the surface, casting an eerie glow.



(CONTINUED)
109.
162 CONTINUED: 162

The Renault is visible under the water, the brass
glinting cheerfully. Andrews looks down as the water
covers his shoe, and scrambles back up the stairs.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Thriller"]

Summary Cal and Ruth confront Rose and Jack, accusing Jack of stealing the Heart of the Ocean necklace. The necklace is found in Jack's pocket, and he is handcuffed and taken away despite Rose's disbelief. Meanwhile, the crew tries to save the mail from the flooding hold.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Revealing character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene is tense and dramatic, with a clear conflict between Cal, Rose, and Jack.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the tension and emotions of the characters.
  • The revelation of the stolen necklace adds a layer of betrayal and deception to the scene.
  • The flashback to Rose at the safe with Jack watching adds depth to the accusation of theft.
  • The scene effectively portrays the chaos and urgency of the situation on the sinking ship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Rose to further convey her shock and betrayal.
  • Explore the possibility of adding more physical actions or movements to enhance the tension in the scene.
  • Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or descriptions to enhance the atmosphere of the scene.
  • Ensure that the resolution of this conflict has a meaningful impact on the characters' arcs and the overall story.



Scene 40 -  The Grim Reality
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
163 INT. BRIDE / CHARTROOM 163

Andrews unrolls a big drawing of the ship across the
chartroom table. It is a side elevation, showing all the
watertight bulkheads. His hands are shaking. Murdoch and
Ismay hover behind Andrews and the Captain.

ISMAY
When can we get underway, do you
think?

Smith glares at him and turns his attention to Andrews'
drawing. The builder points to it for emphasis as he talks.

ANDREWS
Water 14 feet above the keel in ten
minutes... in the forepeak... in all
three holds... and in boiler room
six.

SMITH
That's right.

ANDREWS
Five compartments. She can stay
afloat with the first four
compartments breached. But not
five. Not five. As she goes down by
the head the water will spill over
the tops of the bulkheads... at E
Deck... from one to the next... back
and back. There's no stopping it.

SMITH
The pumps--

ANDREWS
The pumps buy you time... but
minutes only. From this moment, no
matter what we do, Titanic will
founder.

ISMAY
But this ship can't sink!




(CONTINUED)
110.
163 CONTINUED: 163


ANDREWS
She is made of iron, sir. I assure
you, she can. And she will. It is a
mathematical certainty.

Smith looks like he has been gutpunched.

SMITH
How much time?

ANDREWS
An hour, two at most.

Ismay reels as his dream turns into his worst nightmare.

SMITH
And how many aboard, Mr. Murdoch?

MURDOCH
Two thousand two hundred souls
aboard, sir.

A long beat. Smith turns to his employer.

SMITH
I believe you may get your
headlines, Mr. Ismay.

CUT TO:

164 EXT. BOAT DECK 164

Andrews is striding along the boat deck, as seamen and
officers scurry to uncover the boats. Steam is venting from
pipes on the funnes overhead, and the din is horrendous.
Speech is difficult adding to the crew's level of
disorganization. Andrews sees some men fumbling with the
mechanism of one of the Wellin davits and yells to them over
the roar of steam.

ANDREWS
Turn to the right! Pull the falls
taut before you unchock. Have you
never had a boat drill?

SEAMAN
No sir! Not with these new davits,
sir.

He looks around, disguisted as the crew fumble with the
davits, and the tackle for the "falls"...



(CONTINUED)
111.
164 CONTINUED: 164

the ropes which are used to lower the boats. A few
passengers are coming out on deck, hesitantly in the noise
and bitter cold.

CUT TO:

165 INT. ROSE AND CAL'S SUITE 165

From inside the sitting room they can hear knocking and
voices in the corridor.

RUTH
I had better go dress.

Ruth exits and Hockley crosses to Rose. He regards her
coldly for a moment, then SLAPS her across the face.

CAL
It is a little slut, isn't it?

To Rose the blow is inconsequential compared to the blow her
heart has been given. Cal grabs her shoulders roughly.

CAL
Look at me, you little--

There is a loud knock on the door and an urgent voice. The
door opens and their steward puts his head in.

STEWARD BARNES
Sir, I've been told to ask you to
please put on your lifebelt, and
come up to the boat deck.

CAL
Get out. We're busy.

The steward persists, coming in to get the lifebelts down
from the top of a dresser.

STEWARD
I'm sorry about the inconvenience, Mr.
Hockley, but it's Captain's orders.
Please dress warmly, it's quite cold
tonight.
(he hands a lifebelt to Rose)
Not to worry, miss, I'm sure it's
just a precaution.

CAL
This is ridiculous.




(CONTINUED)
112.
165 CONTINUED: 165


In the corridor outside the stewards are being so polite and
obsequious they are conveying no sense of danger whatsoever.
However, it's another story in...

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Andrews reveals the dire condition of the ship, predicting its sinking despite any countermeasures. With limited time remaining, Smith faces the harsh reality. As lifeboat preparations ensue, Cal abuses Rose before they are ordered to evacuate.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Emotional depth
  • Historical accuracy
Weaknesses
  • Possible lack of character development in some secondary characters
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the urgency and severity of the situation after the Titanic hits the iceberg.
  • The dialogue between Andrews, Smith, and Ismay is impactful and highlights the grim reality of the ship's fate.
  • The tension and chaos on the boat deck are well depicted, adding to the sense of impending disaster.
  • The interaction between Cal and Rose in their suite adds a layer of emotional turmoil amidst the unfolding crisis.
  • The steward's polite demeanor in conveying the need for lifebelts contrasts sharply with the impending danger, creating a sense of irony.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the sense of urgency and chaos on the boat deck.
  • Explore deeper emotional reactions from the characters, especially in response to the news of the ship's impending sinking.
  • Provide more context or backstory to Cal and Rose's relationship to heighten the impact of their interaction in the suite.
  • Incorporate subtle hints of danger in the steward's demeanor to foreshadow the impending disaster more effectively.
  • Consider adding a sense of foreboding or impending doom in Andrews' reaction to seeing the Renault underwater.



Scene 41 -  Sinking Fate Revealed
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
166 INT. STEERAGE BERTHING AFT 166

BLACKNESS. Then BANG! The door is thrown open and the
lights snapped on by a steward. The Cartmell family rouses
from a sound sleep.

STEWARD #2
Everybody up. Let's go. Put your
lifebelts on.

IN THE CORRIDOR outside, another steward is going from door
to door along the hall, pouncing and yelling.

STEWARD #2
Lifebelts on. Lifebelts on.
Everybody up, come on. Lifebelts
on...

People come out of the doors behind the steward, perplexed.
In the foreground a SYRIAN WOMAN asks her husband what was
said. He shrugs.

CUT TO:

167 INT. WIRELESS ROOM 167

ON PHILLIPS, looking shocked.

PHILLIPS
CQD, sir?

SMITH
That's right. The distress call.
CQD. Tell whoever responds that we are
going down by the head and need
immediate assistance.

Smith hurries out.

PHILLIPS
Blimey.

BRIDE
Maybe you ought to try that new
distress call... S.O.S.
(grinning)
It may be our only chance to use it.

(CONTINUED)
113.
167 CONTINUED: 167


Phillips laughs in spite of himself and starts sending
history's first S.O.S. Dit dit dit, da da da, dit dit
dit... over and over.

CUT TO:

168 EXT. BOAT DECK 168

Thomas Andrews looks around in amazement. The deck is empty
except for the crew fumbling with the davits. He yells over
the roar of the steam to First Officer Murdoch.

ANDREWS
Where are all the passengers?

MURDOCH
They've all gone back inside. Too
damn cold and noisy for them.

Andrews feels like he is in a bad dream. He looks at his
pocketwatch and heads for the foyer entrance.

CUT TO:

169 INT. A-DECK FOYER 169

A large number of First Class passengers have gathered near
the staircase. They are getting indignant about the
confusion. Molly Brown snags a passing YOUNG STEWARD.

MOLLY
What's doing, sonny? You've got us all
trussed up and now we're cooling our
heels.

The young steward backs away, actually stumbling on the
stairs.

YOUNG STEWARD
Sorry, mum. Let me go and find out.

The jumpy piano rhythm of "Alexander's Ragtime Band" comes
out of the first class lounge a few yards away. Band leader
WALLACE HARTLEY has assembled some of his men on Captain's
orders, to allay panic.

Hockley's entourage comes up to the A-deck foyer. Cal is
carrying the lifebelts, almost as an afterthought. Rose is
like a sleepwalker.

CAL
It's just the God damned English
doing everything by the book.

(CONTINUED)
114.
169 CONTINUED: 169


RUTH
There's no need for language, Mr.
Hockley.
(to Trudy)
Go back and turn the heater on in my
room, so it won't be too cold when we
get back.

Thomas Andrews enters, looking around the magnificent room,
which he knows is doomed. Rose, standing nearby, sees his
heartbroken expression. She walks over to him and Cal goes
after her.

ROSE
I saw the iceberg, Mr. Andrews. And I
see it in your eyes. Please tell me the
truth.

ANDREWS
The ship will sink.

ROSE
You're certain?

ANDREWS
Yes. In an hour or so... all
this... will be at the bottom of the
Atlantic.

CAL
My God.

Now it is Cal's turn to look stunned. The Titanic?
Sinking?

ANDREWS
Please tell only who you must, I
don't want to be responsible for a
panic. And get to a boat quickly.
Don't wait. You remember what I
told you about the boats?

ROSE
Yes, I understand. Thankyou.

Andrews goes off, moving among the passengers and urging
them to put on their lifebelts and get to the boats.

CUT TO:
115.



170 INT. MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE 170

Lovejoy and the Master at Arms are handcuffing Jack to a 4"
WATER PIPE as a crewman rushes in anxiously and almost
blurts to the Master at Arms--

CREWMAN
You're wanted by the Purser, sir.
Urgently.

LOVEJOY
Go on. I'll keep an eye on him.

Lovejoy pulls a pearl handled Colt .45 automatic from under
his coat. The Master at Arms nods and tosses the handcuff
key to Lovejoy, then exits with the crewman. Lovejoy flips
the key in the air. Catches it.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Amidst chaos and darkness, the Cartmell family and others awaken to the dreadful realization of the Titanic's sinking. As distress signals echo through the night, panic spreads among passengers. Thomas Andrews confronts Murdoch, while Molly Brown demands answers. Andrews reveals the ship's imminent fate to Rose and Cal, leaving them shattered. Jack remains detained as the ship's descent into the icy depths becomes inevitable.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Predictable character reactions
Critique
  • The transition from the wireless room to the boat deck feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother segue to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Phillips and Bride in the wireless room could be more impactful to convey the urgency of the distress call and the gravity of the situation.
  • The interaction between Andrews and Murdoch on the boat deck lacks depth and emotion, considering the seriousness of the ship's sinking.
  • The scene in the A-deck foyer with Molly Brown and the young steward feels disconnected from the impending disaster and could be more integrated into the sense of urgency.
  • The revelation of the ship sinking by Andrews to Rose and Cal lacks a sense of impending doom and could be heightened to increase tension and emotional impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or descriptions to enhance the sense of urgency and impending disaster in each location.
  • Revise the dialogue to convey the gravity of the situation more effectively and to deepen the emotional impact on the characters.
  • Integrate the interactions between characters more seamlessly to create a cohesive narrative thread throughout the scene.
  • Enhance the pacing of the scene by building up tension gradually and maintaining a consistent tone of urgency and impending doom.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to immerse the audience in the chaos and panic of the sinking ship.



Scene 42 -  The Gravity of the Situation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
171 INT. BRIDGE 171

Junior Wireless Operator Bride is relaying a message to
Captain Smith from the CUNARD LINER CARPATHIA.

BRIDE
Carpathia says they're making 17
knots, full steam for them, sir.

SMITH
And she's the only one who's
responding?

BRIDE
The only one close, sir. She says
they can be here in four hours.

SMITH
Four hours!

The enormity of it hits Smith like a sledgehammer blow.

SMITH
Thank you, Bride.

He turns as Bride exits, and looks out onto the blackness.

SMITH
(to himself)
My God.

CUT TO:
116.



172 EXT. BOAT DECK - NIGHT 172

Lightoller has his boats swung out. He is standing amidst a
crowd of uncertain passengers in all states of dress and
undress. One first class woman is barefoot. Others are in
stockings. The maitre of the restaurant is in top hat and
overcoat. Others are still in evening dress, while some are
in bathrobes and kimonos. Women are wearing lifebelts over
velvet gowns, then topping it with sble stoles. Some
brought jewels, others books, even small dogs.

Lightoller sees Smith walking stiffly toward him and quickly
goes to him. He yells into the Captain's ear, through
cupped hands, over the roar of the steam...

LIGHTOLLER
Hadn't we better get the women and
children into the boats, sir?

Smith just nods, a bit abstractly. The fire has gone out of
him. Lightoller sees the awesome truth in Smith's face.

LIGHTOLLER
(to the men)
Right! Start the loading. Women and
children!

The appalling din of escaping steam abruptly cuts off,
leaving a sudden unearthly silence in which Lightoller's
voice echoes.

ON WALLACE HARTLEY raising his violin to play.

HARTLEY
Number 26. Ready and--

The band has reassembled just outside the First Class
Entrance, port side, near where Lightoller is calling for
the boats to be loaded. They strike up a waltz, lively and
elegant. The music wafts all over the ship.

LIGHTOLLER
Ladies, please. Step into the boat.

Finally one soman steps across the gap, into the boat,
terrified of the drop to the water far below.

WOMAN IN CROWD

You watch. They'll put us off in these silly little
boats to freeze, and we'll all be back on board by
breakfast.


(CONTINUED)
117.
CONTINUED:


Cal, Rose and Ruth come out of the doors near the band.

RUTH
My brooch, I left my brooch. I must
have it!

She turns back to go to her room but Cal takes her by the
arm, refusing to let her go. The firmness of his hold
surprises her.

CAL
Stay here, Ruth.

Ruth sees his expression, and knows fear for the first time.

CUT TO:

173 INT. STEERAGE BERTHING AFT / CORRIDORS AND STAIRWELL 173

It is chaos, with stewards pushing their way through narrow
corridors clogged with peopel carrying suitcases, duffel
bags, children. Some have lifebelts on, others don't.

STEWARD #2
(to Steward #3)
I told the stupid sods no luggage. Aw,
bloody hell!

He throws up his hand at the sight of a family, loaded down
with cases and bags, completely blocking the corridor.

Fabrizio and Tommy push past the stewards, going the other
way. They rech a huge crowd gathered at the bottom of the
MAIN 3RD CLASS STAIRWELL. Fabrizio spots Helga with the
rest of the Dahl family, standing patiently with suitcases
in hand. He reaches her and she grins, hugging him.

Tommy pushes to where he can see what's holding up the
group. There is a steel gate across the top of the stairs,
with several stewards and seamen on the other side.

STEWARD
Stay calm, please. It's not time to go
up to the boats yet.

Near Tommy, an IRISHWOMAN stands stoically with two small
children and their battered luggage.

LITTLE BOY
What are we doing, mummy?




(CONTINUED)
118.
173 CONTINUED: 173


WOMAN
We're just waiting, dear. When they
fiish putting First Class people in the
boats, they'll be startin' with us, and
we'll want to be all ready, won't we?

CUT TO:

174 EXT. STARBOARD SIDE 174

Boat 7 is less than half full, with 28 aboard a boat made
for 65.

FIRST OFFICER MURDOCH

Lower away! By the left and right together, stady lads!

The boat lurches as the falls start to pay out through the
pulley blocks. The women gasp. The boat descends, swaying
and jerking, toward the water 60 feet below. The passengers
are terrified.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary On the Titanic, Captain Smith faces the devastating truth as he receives news of the Carpathia's distance. Lightoller begins loading lifeboats as Cal prevents Ruth from retrieving her brooch, sensing the danger. Amidst chaos in the steerage, Fabrizio and Tommy witness a crowd gathering below. Despite the urgency, an Irish woman remains patient with her children. Boat 7 descends half-empty, a grim reminder of the ship's perilous state.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of chaos and fear
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Slight predictability in certain character actions
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the urgency and chaos on the Titanic as it is sinking, with passengers in various states of dress and undress, adding to the sense of panic and confusion.
  • The use of visual details such as the different attire of the passengers, the loading of the lifeboats, and the band playing a waltz amidst the chaos helps to paint a vivid picture of the scene.
  • The dialogue between characters like Lightoller, Smith, and the passengers adds to the tension and sense of impending disaster.
  • The scene effectively captures the different reactions of the passengers, from fear and uncertainty to denial and resignation, reflecting the range of emotions in such a dire situation.
  • The visual of the boat descending with only 28 passengers in a boat meant for 65 highlights the urgency and lack of preparedness for the evacuation.
  • The scene effectively sets up the impending tragedy and the challenges faced by the passengers and crew as they try to navigate the chaos and uncertainty of the sinking ship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions of the characters to provide deeper insight into their reactions to the sinking ship.
  • Explore the dynamics between the characters further, especially in moments of conflict or decision-making, to add depth to the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive experience for the readers, allowing them to feel the urgency and chaos of the situation.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to evoke the sounds, smells, and sensations of the sinking ship, adding to the realism of the scene.
  • Ensure a clear progression of events and character actions to maintain the tension and momentum of the scene as it builds towards the climax of the ship sinking.



Scene 43 -  Chaos on the Titanic
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
175 EXT. / INT. TITANIC HULL AND MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE 175

TRACKING along the rows of portholes angling down into the
water. Under the surface, they glow green. PUSHING IN on
one porthole which is have submerged. Inside we see Jack,
looking apprehensively at the water rising up the glass.

INSIDE THE MASTER AT ARMS' OFFICE Jack sits chained to the
waterpipe, next to the porthole. Lovejoy sits on the edge
of a desk. He puts a .45 bullet on the desk and watches it
roll across and fall off. He picks up the bullet.

LOVEJOY
You know... I believe this ship may
sink.
(crosses to Jack)
I've been asked to give you this
small token of our appreciation...

He punches Jack hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out
of him.

LOVEJOY
Compliments of Mr. Caledon Hockley.




(CONTINUED)
119.
175 CONTINUED: 175


Lovejoy flips the handcuff key in the air, catches it and
puts it in his pocket. He exits. Jack is left gasping,
handcuffed to the pipe.

CUT TO:

176 EXT. BOAT DECK / STARBOARD SIDE, FORWARD 176

At the stairwell rail on the bridge wing, Fourth Officer
Boxhall and Quartermaster Rowe light the first distress
rocket. It shoots into the sky and EXPLODES with a
thunderclap over the ship, sending out white starbursts
which light up the entire deck as they fall.

WHIP PAN off the starbursts to Ismay. The Managing Director
of White Star Line is cracking. Already at the breaking
point from his immense guilt, the rocket panics him. He
starts shouting at the officers struggling with the falls of

BOAT 5.

ISMAY
There is no time to waste!
(yelling and waving his arms)
Lower away! Lower away! Lower
away!

FIFTH OFFICER LOWE, a baby-faced 28, and the youngest
officer, looks up from the tangled falls at the madman.

LOWE
Get out of the way, you fool!

ISMAY
Do you know who I am?

Lowe, not having a clue nor caring, squares up to Ismay.

LOWE
You're a passenger. And I'm a
ship's bloody officer. Now do what
you're told!

LOWE (CONT'D)
(turning away)
Steady men! Stand by the falls!

ISMAY
(numbly, backing away)
Yes, quite right. Sorry.

CUT TO:
120.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Jack, chained in the Master at Arms' office, is punched by Lovejoy. A distress rocket signals the impending doom as Ismay panics and obstructs the evacuation efforts. Lowe confronts Ismay, ordering him out of the way. Terrified passengers descend in a boat as the water level rises.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Possible predictability in some character actions
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Jack being chained in the Master at Arms' office to the Boat Deck, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • Lovejoy's dialogue and actions towards Jack feel somewhat cliche and lack depth, making the interaction between them less impactful.
  • The sudden shift to Ismay's panic and interaction with Fifth Officer Lowe feels rushed and could benefit from more development to build tension and suspense.
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to fully capture the gravity of the situation as the Titanic is sinking, missing an opportunity to evoke a stronger sense of urgency and fear.
  • The visual descriptions could be enhanced to create a more vivid and immersive setting, providing a clearer picture of the unfolding events.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more context and build-up to Lovejoy's actions towards Jack to make the scene more engaging and impactful.
  • Smooth out the transition between Jack in the Master at Arms' office and the Boat Deck to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Develop Ismay's character and his interaction with Lowe to create a more compelling and tense exchange that adds depth to the scene.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by delving deeper into the characters' reactions and the sense of impending disaster as the Titanic sinks.
  • Provide more detailed and immersive visual descriptions to paint a vivid picture of the unfolding chaos and urgency on the Titanic.



Scene 44 -  The Sinking Begins
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
177 EXT. BOAT DECK / PORT SIDE 177

SECOND OFFICER LIGHTOLLER is loading the boat nearest Cal
and Rose... Boat 6.

LIGHTOLLER
Women and children only! Sorry sir, no
men yet.

Another rocket bursts overhead, lighting the crowd.
Startled faces turn upward. Fear now in the eyes.

DANIEL MARVIN has his Biograph camera set up, cranking
away... hoping to get an exposure off the rocket's light.
he has Mary posed in front of the scene at the boats.

MARVIN
You're afraid, darling. Scared to
death. That's it!

Either she suddenly learned to act or she is petrified.

ROSE watches the farewells taking pace right in front of her
as they step closer to the boat. Husbands saying goodbye to
wives and children. Lovers and friends parted. Nearby
MOLLY is getting a reluctant woman to board the boat.

MOLLY
Come on, you heard the man. Get in the
boat, sister.

RUTH
Will the lifeboats be seated
according to class? I hope they're not
too crowded--

ROSE
Oh, Mother shut up!
(Ruth freezes, mouth open)
Don't you understand? The water is
freezing and there aren't enough
boats... not enough by half. Half the
people on this ship are going to die.

CAL
Not the better half.

PUSH IN ON ROSE'S FACE as it hits her like a thunderbolt.
Jack is third class. He doesn't stand a chance. Another
rocket bursts overhead, bathing her face in white light.

ROSE
You unimaginable bastard.

(CONTINUED)
121.
177 CONTINUED: 177


MOLLY
Come on, Ruth, get in the boat.
These are the first class seats
right up here. That's it.

Molly practically hands her over to Lightoller, then looks
around for some other women who might need a push.

MOLLY
Come on, Rose. You're next,
darlin'.

Rose steps back, shaking her head.

RUTH
Rose, get in the boat!

ROSE
Goodbye, mother.

Ruth, standing in the tippy lifeboat, can do nothing. Cal
grabs Rose's arm but she pulls free and walks away through
the crowd. Cal catches up to Rose and grabs her again,
roughly.

CAL
Where are you going? To him? Is
that it? To be a whore to that
gutter rat?

ROSE
I'd rather be his whore than your
wife.

He clenches his jaw and squeezes her arm viciously, pulling
her back toward the lifeboat. Rose pulls out a hairpin and
jabs him with it. he lets go with a curse and she runs into
the crowd.

LIGHTOLLER
Lower away!!

RUTH
Rose! ROSE!!

MOLLY
Stuff a sock in it, would ya, Ruth.
She'll be along.

The boat lurches downward as the falls are paid out.




(CONTINUED)
122.
177 CONTINUED: (2) 177


TRACKING WITH ROSE, as she runs through the clusters of
people. She looks back and a furious Cal is coming after
her. She runs breathlessly up to two proper looking men.

ROSE
That man tried to take advantage of me
in the crowd!

Appalled, they turn to see Cal running toward them. Rose
runs on as the two men grab Cal, restraining him. She runs
throught the First Class entrance.

Cal breaks free and runs after her. He reaches the
entrance, but runs into a knot of people coming out. He
pushes rudely through them...

CUT TO:

178 INT. BOAT DECK FOYER / STAIRCASE / A-DECK FOYER 178

Cal runs in, and down to the landing, pushing past the
gentlemen and ladies who are filling up the stairs. He
scans the A-deck foyer. Rose is gone.

CUT TO:

179 EXT. OCEAN / TITANIC / BOAT 6 179

The hull of Titanic looms over Boat 6 like a cliff. Its
enormous mass is suddenly threatening to those in the tiny
boat. Quartermaster Hitchins, at the tiller, wants nothing
but to get away from the ship. Unfortunately his two seamen
can't row. They flail like a duck with a broken wing.

HITCHINS
Keep pulling... away from the ship.
Pull.

MOLLY
Ain't you boys ever rowed before?
Here, gimme those oars. I'll show ya
how it's done.

She climbs over Ruth to get at the oars, stepping on her
feet.

Around them the evacuation is in full swing, with boats in
the water, others being lowered.

CUT TO:
123.



180 INT. MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE / CORRIDOR 180

Jack pulls on the pipe with all his strength. It's not
budging. He hears gurgling sound. Water pours under the
door, spreading rapidly across the floor.

JACK
Shit.

He tries to pull one hand out of the cuffs, working until
the skin is raw... no good.

JACK
Help!! Somebody!! Can anybody hear
me?!
(to himself)
This could be bad.

181 THE CORRIDOR outside is deserted. Flooded a couple of
inches deep. Jack's voice comes faintly through the door,
but there is no one to hear it.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary In the midst of chaos, Lightoller loads women and children onto Boat 6 while Marvin captures the scene. Rose, witnessing the unfolding tragedy, refuses to board and confronts Cal. Jack, struggling with a pipe, watches as water seeps in. Molly takes charge of Boat 6 as it descends into the ocean, and Rose evades Cal's attempt to force her aboard. The scene ends with a chilling visual of Boat 6 being lowered while its crew struggles to row, leaving Titanic's fate uncertain.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • High stakes
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Effective dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable character actions
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and urgency of the Titanic sinking, with tension building as the characters face the grim reality of the situation.
  • The dialogue captures the desperation and fear of the passengers, adding to the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions help create a vivid picture of the unfolding events, from the crowded boat deck to the frantic actions of the characters.
  • The conflict between Rose and Cal adds a personal dimension to the larger disaster, enhancing the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • The scene effectively transitions between different locations on the Titanic, providing a comprehensive view of the unfolding tragedy.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the audience's connection with their experiences.
  • Explore ways to enhance the visual impact of the scene, such as incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the chaos and urgency of the sinking ship.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene maintains a sense of tension and urgency throughout, building towards the climax of the Titanic sinking.
  • Consider adding more interactions between secondary characters to provide a broader perspective on the unfolding disaster and its impact on different individuals.
  • Continue to develop the conflict between Rose and Cal to heighten the emotional stakes and add complexity to their relationship dynamics.



Scene 45 -  Rose's Rescue
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
182 INT. FIRST CLASS CORRIDOR 182

Thomas Andrews is opening stateroom doors, checking that
people are out.

ANDREWS
Anyone in here?

Rose runs up to him, breathless.

ROSE
Mr. Andrews, thank God! Where would the
Master at Arms take someone under
arrest?!

ANDREWS
What? You have to get to a boat
right away!

ROSE
No! I'll do this with or without
your help, sir. But without will
take longer.

ANDREWS
(beat)
Take the elevator to the very
bottom, go left, down the crewman's
passage, then make a right.

(CONTINUED)
124.
182 CONTINUED: 182


ROSE
Bottom, left, right. I have it.

ANDREWS
Hurry, Rose.

CUT TO:

183 INT. FOYER / ELEVATORS 183

Rose runs up as the last Elecator Operator is closing up his
lift to leave.

OPERATOR
Sorry, miss, lifts are closed--

Without thinking she grabs him and shoves him back into the
lift.

ROSE
I'm through with being polite,
goddamnit!! I may never be polite the
rest of my life! Now take me down!!

The operator fumbles to close the gate and start the lift.

CUT TO:

184 EXT. OCEAN / BOAT 6 184

Molly and the two seamen are rowing, and they've made it a
hundret feet or so. Enough to see that the ship is angled
down into the water, with the bow rail less than ten feet
above the surface.

MOLLY
Come on girls, join in, it'll keep ya
warm. Let's go Ruth. Grab an oar!

Ruth just stares at the spectacle of the great liner, its
rows of lights blazing, slanting down into the sullen black
mirror of the Atlanic.

CUT TO:

185 INT. FIRST CLASS ELEVATOR / CORRIDORS 185

Through the wrought iron door of the elevator car Rose can
see the decks going past. The lift slows. Suddenly ICE
WATER is swirling around her legs. She SCREAMS in surprise.
So does the operator.



(CONTINUED)
125.
185 CONTINUED: 185


The car has landed in a foot of freezing water, shocking the
hell out of her. She claws the door open and splashes out,
hiking up her floor-length skirt so she can move. The lift
goes back up, behind her, as she looks around.

ROSE
Left, crew passage.

She spots it and slogs down the flooded corridor. The place
is understandably deserted. She is on her own.

ROSE
Right, right... right.

She turns into a cross-corridor, splashing down the hall. A
row of doors on each side.

ROSE
Jack? Jaaacckk??

CUT TO:

186 INT. MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE / CORRIDOR 186

Jack is hopelessly pulling on the pipe again, straining
until he turns red. He collapses back on the bench.
realizing he's screwed. Then he hears her through the door.

JACK
ROSE!! In here!

187 IN THE HALL Rose hears his voice behind her. She spins
and runs back, locating the right door, then pushes it open,
creating a small wave.

She splashes over Jack and puts her arms around him.

ROSE
Jack, Jack, Jack... I'm sorry, I'm so
sorry.

They are so happy to see each other it's embarrassing.

JACK
That guy Lovejoy put it in my
pocket.

ROSE
I know, I know.




(CONTINUED)
126.
186 CONTINUED: 186


JACK
See if you can find a key for these. Try
those drawers. It's a little brass
one.

She kisses his face and hugs him again, then starts to go
through the desk.

JACK
So... how did you find out I didn't do
it?

ROSE
I didn't.
(she looks at him)
I just realized I already knew.

They share a look, then she goes back to ransacking the
room, searching drawers and cupboards. Jack sees movement
out the porthole and looks out.

A LIFEBOAT hits the surface of the water, seen from below.

CUT TO:

188 EXT. TITANIC / BOAT ONE 188

While the seamen detach the falls, Boat One rocks next to
the hull. Lucile and Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon sit with ten
others in a boat made for four times that many.

LUCILE
I despise small boats. I just know I'm
going to be seasick. I always get
seasick in small boats. Good Heavens,
there's a man down there.

In a lit porthole beneath the surface she sees Jack looking
up at her... a face in a bubble of light under the water.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Rose locates Jack in the Master at Arms office and they reunite. They search for a key to remove Jack's handcuffs as water floods the corridor.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional moments
  • High stakes
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some predictable character actions
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Rose running to find Jack to Jack hopelessly pulling on a pipe in the Master at Arms' office, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Rose and Andrews feels rushed and lacks emotional depth, considering the urgency of the situation.
  • The visual description of Rose running through the flooded corridors could be more vivid and immersive to enhance the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • The interaction between Rose and the elevator operator could be more impactful to convey the shock and urgency of the situation.
  • The reunion between Jack and Rose lacks emotional depth and could benefit from more character development and interaction.
  • The transition from Rose finding Jack to the scene with Lucile and Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon in Boat One feels disjointed and could be smoother.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth and character development to the interactions between Rose, Andrews, and Jack to enhance the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • Provide a smoother transition between different locations and characters to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting for the audience.
  • Focus on building the emotional connection between Jack and Rose during their reunion to make it more impactful.
  • Consider revising the pacing of the scene to allow for more tension and suspense to build up effectively.



Scene 46 -  Rose's Desperate Search for Help
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
189 INT. MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE 189

Rose stops trashing the room, and stands there, breathing
hard.

ROSE
There's no key in here.

They look around at the water, now almost two feet deep.
Jack has pulled his feet up onto the bench.


(CONTINUED)
127.
189 CONTINUED: 189


JACK
You have to go for help.

ROSE
(nodding)
I'll be right back.

JACK
I'll wait here.

She runs out, looking back at him once from the doorway,
then splashes away. Jack looks down at the swirling water.

CUT TO:

190 INT. STAIRWELL AND CORRIDORS 190

Rose splashes down the hall to a stairwell going up to the
next deck. She climbs the stairs, her long skirt leaving a
trail like a giant snail. The weight of it is really
slowing her down. She rips at the buttons and shimmies
quickly out of the thing. She bounds up the stairs in her
stockings and knee-length slip, to find herself in--

191 A LONG CORRIDOR... part of the labyrinth of steerage
hallways forward. She is alone here. A long groan of
stressing metal echoes along the hall as the ship continues
to settle. She runs down the hall, unimpeded now.

ROSE
Hello? Somebody?!

She turns a corner and runs along another corridor in a
daze. The hall slopes down into water which, shimmers,
reflecting the light. The margin of the water creeps toward
her. A YOUNG MAN appears, running through the water,
sending up geysers of spray. He pelts past her without
slowing, his eyes crazed...

ROSE
Help me! We need help!

He doesn't look back. It is like a bad dream. The hull
gongs with terrifying sounds.

The lights flicker and go out, leaving utter darkness. A
beat. Then they come back on. She finds herself
hyperventilating. That one moment of blackness was the most
terrifying of her life.

A STEWARD runs around the nearest corner, his arms full of
lifebelts. He is upset to see someone still in his section.


(CONTINUED)
128.
190 CONTINUED: 190

He grabs her forcefully by the arm, pulling her with him
like a wayward child.

STEWARD
Come on, then, let's get you
topside, miss, that's right.

ROSE
Wait. Wait! I need your help!
There's--

STEWARD
No need for panic, miss. Come
along!

ROSE
No, let me go! You're going the
wrong way!

He's not listening. And he won't let her go.

She SHOUTS in his ear, and when he turns, she punches him
squarely in the nose. Shocked, he lets her go and staggers
back.

STEWARD
To Hell with you!

ROSE
See you there, buster!

The steward runs off, holding his bloody nose. She spits
after him. Just the way Jack taugh: her.

She turns around, SEES: a glass case with a fire-axe in it.
She breaks the glass with a battered suitcase which is lying
discarded nearby, and seizes the axe, running back the way
she came.

192 AT THE STAIRWELL she looks down and gasps. The water
has flooded the bottom five steps. She goes down and has to
crouch to look along the corridor to the room where Jack is
trapped.

Rose plunges into the water, which is up to her waist... and
powers forward, holding the axe above her head in two hands.
She grimaces at the pain from the literally freezing water.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Rose searches the Master at Arms office for a key but finds none. She realizes she must seek assistance and informs Jack that she will return shortly. Jack agrees to wait. Rose departs and ascends to the stairwell toward the upper deck, removing her constricting skirt. She encounters a young man who ignores her plea for aid as the hallway floods and the lights flicker. Upon their return, Rose approaches a steward for assistance but is met with indifference and an attempt to misdirect her. Rose reacts quickly, striking the steward and seizing a fire ax. She navigates the stairwell, negotiating flooded steps, and continues her perilous journey to reach Jack, determined to save him.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension given the dire situation of the sinking ship. The pacing could be improved to heighten the suspense and make the audience feel the impending danger.
  • The transition from the Master at Arms office to Rose's journey through the corridors feels disjointed and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in Rose's actions and interactions with the steward. More emphasis on her fear, desperation, and determination could enhance the impact of her journey to find Jack.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and immersive to create a stronger sense of the environment and the urgency of the situation.
  • The dialogue between Rose and the steward could be more impactful and reflective of the high stakes of the sinking ship scenario.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional cues to convey Rose's fear and determination effectively.
  • Enhance the descriptions of the setting to create a more immersive and tense atmosphere.
  • Work on the pacing of the scene to build up the tension gradually and keep the audience engaged.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it more impactful and reflective of the urgency of the situation.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between different locations and actions to maintain the flow of the scene.



Scene 47 -  Escape from Confinement
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
193 INT. MASTER AT ARMS OFFICE 193

Jack has climbed up on the bench, and is hugging the
waterpipe. Rose wades in, holding the axe above her head.

(CONTINUED)
129.
193 CONTINUED: 193


ROSE
Will this work?

JACK
We'll find out.

They are both terrified, but trying to keep panic at bay.
He positions the chain connecting the two cuffs, stretching
it taut across the steel pipe. The chain is of course very
short, and his exposed wrists are on either side of it.

JACK
Try a couple practice swings.

Rose hefts the axe and thunks it into a wooden cabinet.

JACK
Now try to hit the same mark again.

She swings hard and the blade thunks in four inches from the
mark.

JACK
Okay, that's enough practice.

He winces, bracing himself as she raises the axe. She has
to hit a target about an inch wide with all the foce she can
muster, with his hands on either side.

JACK
(sounding calm)
You can do it, Rose. Hit it as hard as
you can, I trust you.

Jack closes his eyes. So does she.

The axe comes down. K-WHANG! Rose gingerly opens her eyes
looks... Jack is grinning with two separate cuffs.

Rose drops the axe, all the strength going out of her.

JACK
Nice work, there, Paul Bunyan.

He climbs down into the water next to her. He can't breathe
for a second.

JACK
Shit! Excuse my French. Ow ow ow,
that is cold! Come on, let's go.




(CONTINUED)
130.
193 CONTINUED: (2) 193


They wade out into the hall. Rose starts toward the stiars
going up, but Jack stops her. There is only about a foot of
the stairwell opening visible.

JACK
Too deep. We gotta find another way
out.

CUT TO:

194 EXT. BOAT 6 AND TITANIC 194

TIGHT ON THE LETTERS TITANIC painted two feet high on the
bow of the doomed steamer. Once 50 feet above the
waterline, they now quietly slip below the surface. We see
them, gold on black, rippling and dimming to a pale green as
they go deeper.

195 IN BOAT SIX, Ruth looks back at the Titanic, transfixed
by the sight of the dying liner. The bowsprit is now barely
above the waterline. Another of Boxhall's rockets EXPLODES
overhead. K-BOOM! It lights up the whole area, and we see
half a dozen boats in the water, spreading out from the
ship.

MOLLY
Now there's somethin' you don't see
every day.

CUT TO:

196 INT. SCOTLAND ROAD / E-DECK 196

The widest passageway in the ship, it is used by crew and
steerage alike, and runs almost the length of the ship.
Right now steerage passengers move along it like refugees,
heading aft.

CRASH! A wooden doorframe splinters and the door bursts
open under the force of Jack's shoulder. Jack and Rose
stumble through, into the corridor. A STEWARD, who was
nearby herding people along, marches over.

STEWARD
Here you! You'll have to pay for
that, you know. That's White Star
Line property--

JACK AND ROSE
(turning together)
Shutup!



(CONTINUED)
131.
196 CONTINUED: 196


Jack leads her past the dumbfounded steward. They join the
steerage stragglers going aft. In places the corridor is
almost completely blocked by large families carrying all
their luggage.

AN IRISH WOMAN gives Rose a blanket, more for modesty than
because she is blue-lipped and shivering.

IRISHWOMAN
Here, lass, cover yerself.

Jack rubs her arms and tries to warm her up as they walk
along. The woman's husband offers them a flask of whiskey.

IRISHMAN
This'll take the chill off.

Rose takes a mighty belt and hands it to Jack. He grins and
follows suit. Jack tries a number of DOORS and IRON GATES
along the way, finding them all locked.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Action","Adventure"]

Summary Jack and Rose break free from the Master at Arms office and navigate a crowded corridor, aided by the kindness of an Irish couple.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • High stakes and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable character actions
Critique
  • The scene is intense and suspenseful, effectively conveying the urgency and tension of the situation.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose is realistic and adds to the emotional depth of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions help create a vivid picture of the environment and the characters' actions.
  • The interaction between Jack and Rose shows their determination and resourcefulness in a dire situation.
  • The scene effectively builds on the previous events and maintains the momentum of the sinking ship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions to further explore the characters' mindset in such a critical moment.
  • Provide more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion in the scene, such as describing the coldness of the water or the fear in the characters' eyes.
  • Explore the physical toll and exhaustion the characters may be experiencing due to the freezing water and the urgency of their actions.
  • Add a sense of urgency and desperation in the characters' dialogue to heighten the tension and convey the gravity of the situation.
  • Consider incorporating more obstacles or challenges for the characters to overcome, adding layers of complexity to their escape.



Scene 48 -  Chaos on the Boat Deck
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
197 EXT. BOAT DECK 197

ON THE BOAT DECK, the action has moved to the aft group of
boats, numbers 9, 11, 13 and 15 on the starboard side, and
10, 12, 14 and 16 on the port side. The pace of work is
more frantic. You see crew and officers running now to work
the davits, their previous complacency gone.

CAL pushes through the crowd, scanning for Rose. Around him
is chaos and confusion. A woman is calling for a child who
has become seperated from the crowd. A man is shouting over
people's heads. A woman takes hold of Second Officer
Lightoller's arm as he is about to launch Boat 10.

WOMAN
Will you hold the boat a moment? I
have to run back to my room for
something--

Lightoller grabs her and shoves her bodily into the boat.
Thomas Andrews rushes up to him just then.

ANDREWS
Why are the boats being launched
half full?!

Lightoller steps past him, helping a seaman clear a snarled
fall.



(CONTINUED)
132.
197 CONTINUED: 197


LIGHTOLLER
Not now, Mr. Andrews.

ANDREWS
(pointing down at the water)
There, look... twenty or so in a
boat built for sixty five. And I saw
one boat with only twelve. Twelve!

LIGHTOLLER
Well... we were not sure of the
weight--

ANDREWS
Rubbish! They were tested in
Belfast with the weight of 70 men. Now
fill these boats, Mr.
Lightoller. For God's sake, man!

The shot HANDS OFF to Cal, who sees Lovejoy hurrying toward
him through the aisle connecting the port and starboard
sides of the boat deck.

LOVEJOY
She's not on the starboard side
either.

CAL
We're running out of time. And this
strutting martinet...
(indicating Lightoller)
...isn't letting any men in at all.

LOVEJOY
The one on the other side is letting men
in.

CAL
Then that's our play. But we're
still going to need some insurance.
(he starts off forward)
Come on.

Cal charges off, heading forward, followed by Lovejoy. The
SHOT HANDS OFF to a finely dressed elderly couple, IDA and

ISADOR STRAUSS.

ISADOR
Please, Ida, get into the boat.




(CONTINUED)
133.
CONTINUED:


IDA
No. We've been together for forty
years, and where

IDA (CONT'D)
you go, I go. Don't argue with me,
Isador, you know it does no good.

He looks at her with sadness and great love. They embrace
gently.

LIGHTOLLER
Lower away!!

CUT TO:

198 EXT. BRIDGE / FORWARD WELL DECK / FOC'SLE 198

AT THE BOW... the place where Jack and Rose first kissed...
the bow railing goes under water water. Water swirls around
the captsans and windlasses on the foc'sle deck.

Smith strides to the bridge rail and looks down at the well
deck. Water is shipped over the sides and the well deck is
awash. Two men run across the deck, their feet sending up
spray. Behind Smith, Boxhall fires another rocket. WHOOSH!

CUT TO:

199 OMITTED 199

200 OMITTED 200
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Action"]

Summary The scene unfolds on the Titanic's boat deck amidst the chaos of its sinking. Cal and Lovejoy frantically search for Rose as crew and officers launch lifeboats at an accelerated pace. Second Officer Lightoller faces a dispute with Thomas Andrews, who insists on filling the boats to capacity. Meanwhile, an elderly couple, Ida and Isador Strauss, make the heart-wrenching decision to remain together rather than board a lifeboat.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some characters' actions may feel rushed or forced
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and urgency on the boat deck as the Titanic is sinking, with crew and officers running to work the davits.
  • There is a good use of dialogue to show the tension and confusion among the characters, such as the woman calling for her child and Andrews questioning Lightoller about the half-full lifeboats.
  • The conflict between Cal and Lovejoy trying to find Rose and the realization that the boats are not being filled to capacity adds to the suspense of the scene.
  • The emotional moment between Ida and Isador Strauss, where they decide to stay together, adds depth to the scene and highlights the human tragedy unfolding.
  • The visual descriptions of the water flooding the well deck and the bow of the ship sinking create a vivid and immersive setting for the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the impact of the scene.
  • Provide more context or background information on the characters to enhance the audience's connection with them.
  • Explore the aftermath of the decisions made in this scene to show the consequences of the actions taken by the characters.
  • Add more sensory details to further immerse the audience in the sinking of the Titanic and the urgency of the situation.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or symbolism to enhance the themes of sacrifice, love, and tragedy in the scene.



Scene 49 -  Escape from Steerage
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
201 INT. E-DECK CORRIDORS AND STAIRWELL 201

Fabrizio, standing with Helga Dahl and her family, hears
Jack's voice.

JACK
Fabrizio! Fabri!

Fabrizio turns and sees Jack and Rose pushing through the
crowd. He and Jack hug like brothers.

FABRIZIO
The boats are all going.

JACK
We gotta get up there or we're gonna be
gargling saltwater. Where's Tommy?

Fabrizio points over the heads of the solidly packed crowd
to the stairwell.

(CONTINUED)
134.
201 CONTINUED: 201


Tommy has his hands on the bars of the steel gate which
blocks the head of the stairwell. The crew open the gate a
foot or so and a few women are squeezing through.

STEWARD #2
Women only. No men. No men!!

But some terrified men, not understanding English, try to
rush through the gap, forcing the gate open. The crewmen
and stewards push them back, shoving and punching them.

STEWARD #2
Get back! Get back you lot!
(to the crewmen)
Lock it!!

They struggle to get the gate closed again, while Steward #2
brandishes a small revolver. Another holds a fire axe.
They lock the gate, and a cry goes up among the crowd, who
surge forward, pounding against the steel and shouting in
several languages.

TOMMY
For the love of God, man, there are
children down here! Let us up, so we
can have a chance!

But the crewmen are scared now. They have let the situation
get out of hand, and now they have a mob. Tommy gives up
and pushes his way back through the crowd, going down the
stairs. He rejoins Jack, Rose and Fabrizio.

TOMMY
It's hopeless that way.

JACK
Well, whatever we're goin' to do, we
better do it fast.

Fabrizio turns to Helga, praying he can make himself
understood.

FABRIZIO
(with a lot of hand gestures)
Everyone... all of you... come with me
now. We go to the boats. We go to the
boats. Capito? Come now!

They can't understand what he's saying. They can see his
urgency, but OLUF DAHL, the patriarch of the family, shakes
his head. He will not panic, and will not let his family go
with this boy. Fabrizio turns to Helga.


(CONTINUED)
135.
201 CONTINUED: (2) 201


FABRIZIO
Helga... per favore... please...
come with me, I am lucky. Is my
destiny to go to America.

She kisses him, then steps back to be with her family. Jack
lays a hand on his shoulder, his eyes saying "Let's go".

FABRIZIO
I will never forget you.

He turns to Jack, who leads the way out of the crowd.
Looking back Fabrizio sees her face disappear into the
crowd.

CUT TO:

202 OMITTED 202

203 OMITTED 203

204 INT. CAL AND ROSE'S SUITE 204

CLUNK! Cal opens his safe and reaches inside. As Lovejoy
watches, he pulls out two stacks of bills, still banded by
bank wrappers. Then he takes out "Heart of the Ocean",
putting it in the pocket of his overcoat, and locks the
safe.

CAL
(holding up stacks of bills)
I make my own luck.

LOVEJOY
(putting the .45 in his
waistband)
So do I.

Cal grins, putting the money in his pocket as they go out.

CUT TO:

205 INT. STEERAGE, AFT 205

Jack, Rose, Fabrizio and Tommy are lost, searching for a way
out. They push past confused passengers... past a mother
changing her baby's diaper on top of an upturned steamer
trunk... past a woman arguing heatedly with a man in Serbo-
Croatian, a wailing child next to them... past a man
kneeling to console a woman who is just sitting on the
floor, sobbing... and past another man with an
English/Arabic dictionary, trying to figure out what the
signs mean, while his wife and children wait patiently.

(CONTINUED)
136.
205 CONTINUED: 205


Jack et al come upon a narrow stairwell and they go up two
decks before they are stopped by a small group pressed up
against a steel gate. The steerage men are yelling at a
scared STEWARD.

STEWARD
Go to the main stairwell, with
everyone else. It'll all get sorted out
there.

Jack takes one look at this scene and finally just loses it.

JACK
God damn it to Hell son of a bitch!!

He grabs one end of a bench bolted to the floor on the
landing. He starts pulling on it, and Tommy and Fabrizio
pitch in until the bolts shear and it breaks free. Rose
figures out what they are doing and clears a path up the
stairs between the waiting people.

ROSE
Move aside! Quickly, move aside!

Jack and Tommy run up the steps with the bench and RAM IT
INTO THE GATE with all their strength. It rips loose from
its track and falls outward, narrowly mssing the steward.
Led by Jack, the crowd surges though. Rose steps up to the
cowering steward and says in her most imperious tone:

ROSE
If you have any intention of keeping
your pathetic job

ROSE (CONT'D)
with the White Star Line, I suggest you
escort these good people to the boat
deck... now.

Class wins out. He nods dumbly motions form them to follow.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Adventure"]

Summary Trapped in steerage as the Titanic sinks, Jack, Rose, Fabrizio, and Tommy witness the chaos and desperation of the passengers. When a locked gate blocks their escape, Jack leads the group in breaking it down, allowing them to flee the sinking ship.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • High stakes and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Some stereotypical character reactions
  • Slightly predictable plot developments
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the urgency and chaos of the situation as the Titanic is sinking, with passengers desperately trying to find a way to safety.
  • The tension and suspense are well-maintained throughout the scene, keeping the audience engaged.
  • The character dynamics between Jack, Rose, Fabrizio, and Tommy are well portrayed, showing their determination and resourcefulness in the face of danger.
  • The conflict between the steerage passengers and the steward adds depth to the scene and highlights the class differences on the Titanic.
  • The scene effectively builds up to the climax where Jack and his companions break through the gate, creating a sense of triumph and relief.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene, such as the sounds of the ship sinking, the dim lighting, and the sense of claustrophobia in the crowded corridors.
  • Explore the emotional impact on the characters further, especially Rose's assertiveness and Jack's determination, to create a deeper connection with the audience.
  • Provide more insight into the motivations and reactions of the supporting characters, like the steward and the other passengers, to add layers to the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue that reveals the characters' thoughts and feelings, adding depth to their interactions and enhancing the dramatic tension.
  • Continue to escalate the stakes and sense of danger as the scene progresses, building towards a climactic moment that leaves a lasting impact on the audience.



Scene 50 -  Desperation and Resignation on the Titanic
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
206 EXT. BOAT 6 / TITANIC - NIGHT 206

Ruth rows with Molly Brown, two other women and the
incompetent sailors. She rests on her oars, exhausted, and
looks back at the ship.

It slants down into the water, still ablaze with light.
Nothing is above water forward of the bridge except for the
foremast.


(CONTINUED)
137.
206 CONTINUED: 206

Another rocket goes off, lighting up the entire area...
there are a dozen boats moving outward from the ship.

207 AT THE BOAT DECK RAIL Captain Smith is shouting to Boat
6 through a large metal megaphone.

SMITH
Come back! Come back to the ship!

CHIEF OFFICER WILDE joins him, blowing his silver whistle.

208 FROM BOAT 6 the whistle comes shrilly across the water.
Quartermaster Hitchins grips the rudder in fear.

HITCHINS
The suction will pull us right down if
we don't keep going.

MOLLY
We got room for lots more. I say we go
back.

HITCHINS
No! It's our lives now, not theirs. And
I'm in charge of this boat! Now row!!

209 CAPTAIN SMITH, at the rail of the boat deck, lowers his
megaphone slowly

SMITH
The fools.

CUT TO:

210 INT. A-DECK FOYER 210

As Cal and Lovejoy cross the foyer encounter Benjamin
Guggenheim and his valet, coth dressed in white tie, tail-
coats and top hats.

CAL
Ben, what's the occasion?

GUGGENHEIM
We have dressed in our best and are
prepared to go down like gentlemen.

CAL
That's admirable, Ben.
(walking on)
I'll sure and tell your wife... when I
get to New York.

CUT TO:
138.



211 INT. FIRST CLASS SMOKING ROOM 211

There are still two cardgames in progress. The room is
quiet and civilized. A silver serving cart, holding a large
humidor, begins to roll slowly across the room. One of the
cardplayers takes a cigar from it as it rolls by.

CARDPLAYER
It seems we've been dealt a bad hand
this time.

CUT TO:

212 EXT. / INT. A-DECK PROMENADE 212

Cal and Lovejoy are walking aft with a purposeful stride.
They pass CHIEF BAKER JOHGHIN, who is working up a sweat
tossing deck chairs over the rail. After they go by,
Joughin takes a break and pulls a bottle of scotch from a
pocket, opening it. He drains it, and tosses it over the
side too, then stands there a little unteadily.

CUT TO:

213 EXT. BOAT DECK AND A-DECK, AFT 213

PANIC IS SETTING IN around the remaining boats aft. The
crowd here is now a mix of all three classes. Officers
repeatedly warn men back from the boats. The crowd presses
in closer.

Seamen SCAROTT brandishes the tiller of boat 14 to
discourage a close press of men who look ready to rush the
boat. Several men break ranks and rush forward.

Lightoller pulls out his Webley revolver and aims it at
them.

LIGHTOLLER
Get back! Keep order!

The men back down. Fifth Officer Lowe standing in the boat,
yells to the crew.

LOWE
Lower away left and right!

Lightoller turns away from the crowd and, out of their
sight, breaks his pistol open. Letting out a long breath,
he starts to LOAD IT.

CUT TO:
139.



214 EXT. BOAT DECK, STARBOARD SIDE, AFT 214

Cal and Lovejoy arrive in time to see Murdoch lowering his
last boat.

CAL
We're too late.

LOVEJOY
There are still some boats forward.
Stay with this one... Murdoch. He
seems to be quite... practical.

215 IN THE WATER BELOW there is another panic. Boat 13,
already in the water but still attached to its falls, is
pushed aft by the discharge water being pumped out of the
ship. It winds up directly under boat 15, which is coming
downt he right on top of it.

The passengers shout in panic to the crew above to stop
lowering. They are ignored. Some men put their hands up,
trying futilely to keep the 5 tons of boat 15 from crushing
them.

Fred Barrett, the stoker, gets out his knife and leaps to
the after falls, climbing rudely over people. He cuts the
aft falls while another crewman cuts the forward lines. 13
drifts out from beneath 15 just seconds before it touches
the water with a slap.

Cal, looking down from the rail hears GUNSHOTS--

CUT TO:

216 EXT. BOAT DECK / A-DECK, PORT, AFT 216

Fifth Officer Lowe, in Boat 14 is firing his gun as a
warning to a bunch of men threatening to jump into the boat
as it passes the open promenade on A-Deck.

LOWE
Stay back you lot!

BLAM! BLAM!

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Action"]

Summary As the Titanic continues to sink, Ruth rests exhausted on her oars, watching the ship disappear. Captain Smith orders Boat 6 to return, but Hitchins refuses, fearing the suction. Guggenheim declares his intention to go down like a gentleman, while Cal and Lovejoy encounter Joughin, who is tossing chairs overboard. Panic sets in aft, with officers struggling to maintain order. Lightoller pulls out his revolver and aims it at men trying to rush a boat. Cal and Lovejoy arrive too late to board the last boat as Murdoch lowers it. Panic and resignation mix as passengers and crew realize the gravity of the situation.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional impact
  • Realistic portrayal of the sinking
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may not be fully developed or explored in depth
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus on the main characters, Jack and Rose, who are pivotal to the overall story.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and connection to the characters in this scene, making it feel detached from the intense and dramatic events unfolding on the sinking Titanic.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks depth and emotion, missing an opportunity to convey the urgency and desperation of the situation.
  • The visual descriptions could be enhanced to create a more vivid and immersive setting, capturing the chaos and panic of the passengers as the Titanic sinks.
  • The scene could benefit from more tension and suspense to heighten the stakes and engage the audience in the characters' struggle for survival.
Suggestions
  • Focus on Jack and Rose's perspective and emotions to create a more engaging and impactful scene.
  • Add more emotional depth to the dialogue to convey the urgency and desperation of the characters' situation.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a vivid picture of the chaos and panic on the sinking Titanic.
  • Increase the tension and suspense in the scene to keep the audience on the edge of their seats and invested in the characters' fate.
  • Consider adding moments of character development or interaction to deepen the audience's connection to the main characters.



Scene 51 -  Desperate Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
217 EXT. BOAT DECK, STARBOARD, AFT 217

The shots echo away.




(CONTINUED)
140.
217 CONTINUED: 217


CAL
It's starting to fall apart. We
don't have much time.

Cal sees three dogs run by, including the black French
bulldog. Someone has released the pets from the kennels.

Cal sees Murdoch turn from the davits of boat 15 and start
walking toward the bow. He catches up and falls in beside
him.

CAL
Mr. Murdoch, I'm a businessman, as you
know, and I have a business
proposition for you.

CUT TO:

218 OMITTED 218

219 EXT. BOAT DECK, PORT 219

Jack, Rose et al burst out onto the boat deck from the crew
stairs just aft of the third funnel. They look at the empty
davits.

ROSE
The boats are gone!

She sees Colonel Gracie chugging forward along the deck,
escorting two first class ladies.

ROSE
Colonel! Are there any boats left?

GRACIE
(staring at her bedraggled
state)
Yes, miss... there are still a
couple of boats all the way forward.
This way, I'll lead you!

Jack grabs her hand and they sprint past Gracie, with Tommy
and Fabrizio close behind.

ANGLE ON THE BAND... incredibly they are still playing.
Jack, Rose and the others run by.

TOMMY
Music to drown by. Now I know I'm in
First Class.

CUT TO:
141.



220 EXT. BOAT DECK, STARBOARD, FORWARD 220

Water pours like a spillway over the forward railing on B-
Deck. CAMERA SWEEPS UP past A-Deck to the Boat Deck where
Murdoch and his team are loading Collapsible Car the forward-
most davits.

NOTE: There are four so-called collapsibles, or Engelhardts
boats, including two which are stored on the roof of the
officer's quarters.

The crowd is sparse, with most people still aft. Cal slips
his hand out of hte pocket of his overcoat and into the
waist pocket of Murdoch's greatcoat, leaving the stacks of
bills there.

CAL
So we have an understanding then?

MURDOCH
(nodding curtly)
As you've said.

Cal, satisfied, steps back. He finds himself waiting next
to J. Bruce Ismay. Ismay does not meet his eyes, nor
anyone's. Lovejoy come sup to Cal at that moment.

LOVEJOY
I've found her. She's just over on the
port side. With him.

MURDOCH
Women and children? Any more women and
children?
(glancing at Cal)
Any one else, then?

Cal looks longingly at his boat... his moment has arrived.

CAL
God damn it to hell! Come on.

He and Lovejoy head for the port side, taking a short-cut
through the bridge.

Bruce Ismay, seeing his oppurtunity, steps quickly into
Collapsible C. He stares straight ahead, not meeting
Murdoch's eyes.




(CONTINUED)
142.
220 CONTINUED: 220


MURDOCH
(staring at Ismay)
Take them down.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Amidst the sinking Titanic's chaos, Cal bribes Murdoch for a lifeboat spot. Cal and Lovejoy search for Rose, while Ismay selfishly boards one. Murdoch lowers the lifeboat as the band plays and panic ensues, with people searching frantically for remaining boats.
Strengths
  • Intense pacing
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Realistic portrayal of chaos
Weaknesses
  • Some characters' actions may seem unrealistic under extreme pressure
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the Titanic is sinking, which could be heightened to create a more gripping atmosphere.
  • The dialogue between Cal and Murdoch feels forced and unnatural, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
  • The interaction between Cal and Lovejoy discussing finding Rose is brief and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to build tension and suspense.
  • The transition between different parts of the boat deck is abrupt and could be smoother to improve the flow of the scene.
  • The band playing music while the ship is sinking is a powerful visual, but could be utilized more effectively to enhance the sense of impending disaster.
Suggestions
  • Add more urgency and tension to the scene by emphasizing the imminent danger of the sinking ship.
  • Revise the dialogue between Cal and Murdoch to make it more realistic and engaging.
  • Expand on the interaction between Cal and Lovejoy to build suspense and intrigue.
  • Improve the transitions between different parts of the boat deck to create a seamless flow.
  • Utilize the presence of the band playing music to heighten the emotional impact of the sinking ship.



Scene 52 -  Lifeboat Separation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
221 EXT. BOAT DECK / PORT SIDE - NIGHT 221

ON THE PORT SIDE Lightoller is getting people into Boat 2.
He keeps his pistol in his hand at this point. Twenty feet
below them the sea is pouring into the doors and windows of
B deck staterooms. They can hear the roar of water
cascading into the ship.

LIGHTOLLER
Women and children, please. Women and
children only. Step back, sir.

Even with Jack's arms wrapped around her, Rose is shivering
in the cold. Near her a WOMAN with TWO YOUNG DAUGHTERS
looks into the eyes of a HUSBAND she knows she may not see
again

HUSBAND
Goodbye for a little while... only for
a little while.
(to his two little girls)
Go with mummy.

The woman stumbles to the boat with the children, hiding her
tears from them. Beneath the false good cheer, the man is
choked with emotion.

HUSBAND
Hold mummy's hand and be a good
girl. That's right.

Some of the women are stoic, others are overwhelmed by
emotion and have to be helped into the boats. A MAN
scribbles a note and hands it to a woman who is about to
board.

MAN
Please get this to my wife in
DeMoines, Iowa.

Jack looks at Tommy and Fabrizio.

JACK
You better check out the other side.

They nod and run off, searching for a way around the
deckhouse.

(CONTINUED)
143.
221 CONTINUED: 221


ROSE
I'm not going without you.

JACK
Get in the boat, Rose.

Cal walks up just then.

CAL
Yes. Get in the boat, Rose.

She is shocked to see him. She steps instinctively to Jack.
Cal looks at her, standing there shivering in her wet slip
and stockings, a shocking display in 1912.

CAL
My God, look at you.
(taking off his boat)
Here, put this on.

She numbly shrugs into it. He is doing it for modesty, not
the cold.

LIGHTOLLER
Quickly, ladies. Step into the
boat. Hurry, please!

JACK
Go on. I'll get the next one.

ROSE
No. Not without you!

She doesn't even care that Cal is standing right there. He
sees the emotion between Jack and Rose and his jaw clenches.
But then he leans close to her and says...

CAL
(low)
There are boats on the other side
that are allowing men in. Jack and I
can get off safely. Both of us.

JACK
(he smiles reassuringly)
I'll be alright. Hurry up so we can get
going... we got our own boat to catch.

CAL
Get in... hurry up, it's almost
full.



(CONTINUED)
144.
221 CONTINUED: (2) 221


Lightoller grabs her arm and pulls her toward the boat. She
reaches out for Jack and her fingers brush his for a moment.
Then she finds herself stepping down into the boat. It's
all a rush and blur.

LIGHTOLLER
Lower away!

The two men watch at the rail as the boat begins to descend.

CAL
(low)
You're a good liar.

JACK
Almost as good as you.

CAL
I always win, Jack. One way or
another.
(looks at him, smiling)
Pity I didn't keep that drawing.
It's going to be worth a lot more by
morning.

Jack knows he is screwed. He looks down at Rose, not
wanting to waste a second of his last view of her.

222 ROSE'S PERCEPTION... IN SLOW MOTION: The ropes going
through the pulleys as the seamen start to lower. All sound
going away... Lightoller giving orders, his lips moving...
but Rose hears only the blood pounding in her ears... this
cannot be happening... a rocket bursts above in slow-motion,
outlining Jack in a halo of light... Rose's hair blowing in
slow motion as she gazes up at him, descending away from
him... she sees his hand trembling, the tears at the corners
of his eyes, and cannot believe the unbearable pain she is
feeling...

Rose is still staring up, tears pouring down her face.

SUDDENLY SHE IS MOVING. She lunges across the women next to
her. Reaches the gunwale, climbing it...

Hurls herself out of the boat to the rail of the A-Deck
promenade, catching it, and scrambling over the rail. The
Boat 2 continues down. But Rose is back on Titanic.

JACK
No Rose! NOOOO!!

Jack spins from the rail, running for the nearest way down
to A-Deck.

(CONTINUED)
145.
221 CONTINUED: (3) 221


Hockley too has seen her jump. She is willing to die for
this man, this gutter scum. He is overwhelmed by a rage so
all consuming it eclipses all thought.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Historical"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of the sinking Titanic, Lightoller prioritizes women and children for lifeboats. Jack convinces Rose to board, assuring her he'll be okay. However, upon realizing she can't leave him, Rose jumps back onto the ship, leaving Jack heartbroken. Cal, who overheard their conversation, witnesses her sacrifice and is consumed by rage.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable character actions
Critique
  • The scene captures the chaos and urgency of the Titanic sinking, with passengers desperately trying to find safety in the lifeboats.
  • There is a sense of emotional turmoil as characters like Rose, Jack, and Cal navigate their conflicting feelings and decisions.
  • The tension between Jack and Cal adds depth to the scene, highlighting the power dynamics and personal conflicts at play.
  • The visual descriptions effectively convey the frantic and emotional atmosphere of the scene, enhancing the reader's immersion.
  • The dialogue between the characters adds to the sense of urgency and conflict, especially in Cal's manipulative attempts to save himself.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts and emotions for the characters, especially Rose, to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Explore the dynamics between the characters further, particularly the power struggle between Jack and Cal, to enhance the dramatic tension.
  • Provide more sensory details to immerse the reader in the scene, such as the sounds of the ship sinking and the coldness of the water.
  • Consider incorporating more foreshadowing or symbolism to enhance the thematic elements of sacrifice, survival, and moral dilemmas.
  • Ensure a clear resolution for the characters' arcs in this scene, especially in terms of their emotional growth or decisions made under pressure.



Scene 53 -  Escape from Cal and Lovejoy
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
223 INT. GRAND STAIRCASE 223

TRACKING WITH JACK as he bangs through the doors to the
foyer and sprints down the stairs. He sees her coming into
A-deck foyer, running toward him, Cal's long coat flying out
behind her as she runs.

They meet at the bottom of the stairs, and collide in an
embrace.

JACK
Rose, Rose, you're so stupid, you're
such an idiot--

And all the while he's kissing her and holding her as tight
as he can.

ROSE
You jump, I jump, right?

JACK
Right.

Hockley comes in and runs to the railing. Looking down he
sees them locked in their embrace. Lovejoy comes up behind
Cal and puts a restraining HAND on him, but Cal whips
around, grabbing the pistol from Lovejoy's waistband in one
cobra-fast move.

He RUNS along the rail and down the stairs. As he reaches
the landing above them he raises the gun. SCREAMING in
rage, he FIRES.

The carved cherub at the foot of the center railing
EXPLODES. Jack pulls Rose toward the stairs going down to
the next deck. Cal fires again, running down the steps
toward them. A bullet blows a divet out of the oak
panelling behind Jack's head as he pulls Rose down the next
flight of stairs.

Hockley steps on the skittering head of the cherub statue
and goes sprawling. The gun clatters across the marble
floor. He gets up, and reeling drunkenly goes over to
retrieve it.

CUT TO:
146.



224 INT. D-DECK RECEPTION ROOM 224

The bottom of the grand staircase is flooded several feet
deep. Jack and Rose come down the stairs two at a time and
run straight into the water, fording across the room to
where the floor slopes up, until they reach dry footing at
the entrance to the dining saloon.

STEADICAM WITH HOCKLEY as he reels down the stairs in time
to see Jack and Rose splashing through the water toward the
dining saloon. He FIRES twice. Big gouts of spray near
them, but he's not a great shot.

The water boils up around his feet and he retreast up the
stairs a couple of steps. Around him the woodward groans
and creaks.

CAL
(calling to them)
Enjoy your time together!!

Lovejoy arrives next to him. Cal suddenly remembers
something and starts to laugh.

LOVEJOY
What could possible be funny?

CAL
I put the diamond in my coat pocket. And
I put my coat... on her.

He turns to Lovejoy with a sickly expression, his eyes
glittering.

CAL
I give it to you... if you can get it.

He hands Lovejoy the pistol and goes back up the stairs.
Lovejoy thinks about it... then slogs into the water. The
icewater is up to his waist as he crosses the pool into the
dining saloon.

CUT TO:

225 INT. DINING SALOON 225

Lovejoy moves among the tables and ornate columns,
searching... listening... his eyes tracking rapidly. It is
a sea of tables, and they could be anywhere. A silver
serving tolley rolls downhill, bumping into tables and
pillars.



(CONTINUED)
147.
225 CONTINUED: 225


He glances behind him. The water is following him into the
room, advancing in a hundred foot wide tide. The reception
room is now a roiling lake, and the grand staircase is
submerged past the first landing. Monstrous groans echo
through the ship.

ON JACK AND ROSE, crouched behind a table, somewhere in the
middle. They see the water advancing toward them, swirling
over the floor. They crawl ahead of it to the next row of
tables.

JACK
(whispering)
Stay here.

He moves off as--

Lovejoy moves over one row and looks along the tables.
Nothing.

The ship GROANS and CREAKS. He moves another row.

ANGLE ON A METAL CART... five feet tall and full of stacks
of china dishes. It starts to roll down the aisle between
tables.

ON ROSE as the cart rolls toward her. It hits a table and
the stacks of dishes topple out, EXPLODING across the floor
and showering her.

She scrambles out of the way and--

Lovejoy spins, seeing her. He moves rapidly toward her,
keeping the gun aimed--

That's when Jack tackles him from the side. They slam
together into a table, crashing over it, and toppling to the
floor. They land in the water which is flowing rapidly
between the tables.

Jack and Lovejoy grapple in the icy water. Jack jams his
knee down on Lovejoy's hand, breaking his grip on the
pistol, and kicks it away. Lovejoy scrmbles up and lunges
at him, but Jack GUTPUCHES him right in the solar plexus,
doubling him over.

JACK
Compliments of the Chippewa Falls
Dawsons.

He grabs Lovejoy and slams him into an ornate columb.
Lovejoy drops to the floor with a splas, stunned.


(CONTINUED)
148.
225 CONTINUED: (2) 225


JACK
Let's go.

Jack and Rose run aft... uphill... entering the galley.
Behind them the tables have become islands in a lake... and
the far end of the room is flooded up to the ceiling.

Lovejoy gets up and looks around for his gun. He pulls it
up out of the water and wades after them.

CUT TO:

226 INT. GALLEY / STAIRWELL 226

They run throught the galley and Rose spots the stairs. She
starts up and Jack grabs her hand. He leads her DOWN.

They crouch together on the landing as Lovejoy runs to the
stairs. Assuming they have gone up (who wouldn't?) he
clombs up them two at a time.

They wait for the footstep to recede. A long CREAKING
GROAN. Then they hear it... a CRYING CHILD. Below them.
They go down a frew steps to looks along the next deck.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Romance","Thriller"]

Summary Array
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Predictable outcomes
Critique
  • The scene is filled with intense action and emotion, which is engaging for the audience. However, the dialogue could be more impactful and realistic in certain moments.
  • The character dynamics are well portrayed, especially the conflict between Jack, Rose, and Cal. This conflict adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience invested.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and desperate situation on the sinking Titanic.
  • The pacing of the scene is well-maintained, with a good balance between action sequences and character interactions.
  • The use of the setting, such as the flooded grand staircase and the water advancing through the rooms, adds to the tension and urgency of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the dialogue to make it more impactful and authentic, especially during the intense moments of confrontation.
  • Ensure that the actions of the characters align with their motivations and emotions, to maintain consistency and believability.
  • Explore opportunities to further develop the internal struggles and conflicts of the characters, adding layers to their interactions and decisions.
  • Continue to use visual descriptions effectively to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Maintain the balance between action, dialogue, and character development to keep the scene engaging and dynamic.



Scene 54 -  Trapped in the Flooded Corridor
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
227 INT. E-DECK CORRIDORS 227

The corridor is awash, about a foot deep. Standing against
the wall, about 50 feet away, is a little BOY, aobut 3. The
water swirls around his legs and he is wailing.

ROSE
We can't leave him.

Jack nods and they leave the promise of escape up the
stairwell to run to the child. Jack scoops up the kid and
they run back to the stairs but--

A torrent of water comes pouring down the stairs like
rapids. In seconds it is too powerful for them to go
against.

JACK
Come on.

Charging the other way down the flooding corridor, they
blast up spray with each footstep. At the end of the hall
are heavy double doors. As Jack approaches them he sees
water spraying through the gap between the doors right up to
the ceiling. The doors groan and start to crack under the
tons of pressure.

(CONTINUED)
149.
227 CONTINUED: 227


JACK
Back! Go back!!

Rose pivots and runs back the way they came, taking a turn
into a cross-corridor. A MAN is coming the other way. He
sees the boy in Jack's arms and cries out, grabbing him away
from Jack. Starts cursing him in Russian. He runs on with
the boy--

ROSE
No! Not that way! Come back!

228 DOUBLE DOORS BLAST OPEN. A wall of water thunders into
the corridor. The father and child DISAPPEAR instantly.

Jack and Rose run as a wave blasts around the corner,
foaming from floor to ceiling. It gains on them like a
locomotive. They make it to a stairway going up.

CUT TO:

229 INT. STAIRWELL 229

Jack and Rose pound up the steps as white water swirls up
behind them. PULL BACK to reveal that a steel gate blocks
the top of the stairs. Jack SLAMS against the fate,
gripping the bars.

A terrified steward standing guard on the landing above
turns to run at the sight of the water thundering up the
stairs.

JACK
Wait! Wait! Help us! Unlock the
gate.

The steward runs on. The water wells up around Jack and
Rose, pouring through the gate and slamming them against it.
In seconds it is up to their waist.

ROSE
Help us! Please!

The steward stops and looks back. He sees Jack and Rose at
the gate, their arms raching through... sees the water
POURING through the gate onto the landing.

STEWARD
Fucking 'ell!

He runs back, slogging against the curretn. He pulls a key
ring from his belt and struggles to unlock the padlock as
the water fountains up around them.

(CONTINUED)
150.
229 CONTINUED: 229


The lights short out and the landing is plunged into
darkness.

The water rises over the lock and he's doing it by feel.

JACK
Come on! Come on!

Jack and Rose are right up against the ceiling...

Suddenly the gate gives and SWINGS OPEN. They are pushing
through by the force of the water. They make it to stairs
on the other side of the landing and follow the steward up
to the next deck.

CUT TO:

230 EXT. BOAT DECK, STARBOARD SIDE 230

Cal comes reeling out of the first class entrance, looking
wild-eyed. The lurches down the deck toward the bridge.
Waltz music wafts over the ship. Somewhere the band is
still playing.

CAL'S POV: A little girl, maybe two years old, is crying
along in the alcove. She looks up at Cal beseechingly. Cal
moves on without a glance back... reaching a large crowd
clustered around COLLAPSIBLE A just aft of the bridge. He
sees Murdoch and a number of crewmen struggling to drag the
boat to the davits, with no luck.

Cal pushes forward, trying to signal Murdoch, but the
officer ignores him. Nearby Tommy and Fabrizio are being
pushed forward by the crowd behind. PURSER MCELROY pushes
them back, getting a couple of seamen to help him. He
brandishes his gun, waving it in the air, yelling for the
crowd to stay back.

CUT TO:

231 EXT. BOAT DECK, PORT SIDE / ROOF OF OFFICERS' QUARTERS 231

Lightoller, with a group of crew and passengers, is trying
to get Collapsible B down from the roof. They slide it down
a pair of oars leaned against the deck house.

LIGHTOLLER
Hold it! Hold it!




(CONTINUED)
151.
231 CONTINUED: 231


The weight of the boat snaps the oars and it crashes to the
deck, upside down. The two Swedish cousins, OLAUS and BJORN
GUNERSEN, jump back as the boat nearly hits them.

CUT TO:

232 OMITTED 232

233 INT. STAIRWELL 233

Jack and Rose run up seemingly endless stairs as the ship
groans and torgues around them.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Jack and Rose encounter a trapped boy in a flooded corridor but are unable to reach him due to a torrent of water. The boy's father takes him in the wrong direction, and they disappear in the flood. Jack and Rose struggle to escape the rising water but are aided by a steward who unlocks a gate, allowing them to proceed to the next deck.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly cliched or melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the urgency and chaos of the sinking Titanic, with the characters facing life-threatening situations.
  • The tension is well-maintained as Jack and Rose try to rescue a little boy in the flooded corridor, adding emotional depth to the scene.
  • The visual descriptions of the rising water and the struggle to unlock the gate create a vivid and intense atmosphere.
  • The interaction with the steward adds a sense of desperation and the stakes are raised as the water continues to rise.
  • Cal's frantic search for a lifeboat and the failed attempt to signal Murdoch add to the sense of panic and impending disaster.
  • Lightoller's struggle with Collapsible B showcases the challenges faced in launching the lifeboats amidst the chaos.
  • The scene effectively transitions between different locations on the ship, capturing the widespread panic and confusion.
  • The use of sound, such as the waltz music and the crying child, adds to the sensory experience of the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the next sequence of events and leaves the audience on edge, wondering about the fate of the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Jack and Rose to deepen their characters and enhance the audience's connection with them.
  • Explore the psychological impact of the sinking on the characters, especially in moments of high tension and danger.
  • Enhance the dialogue to reflect the urgency and fear of the situation, adding depth to the interactions between the characters.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as the sounds of water, the ship groaning, and the cries of passengers.
  • Continue to build suspense and maintain a sense of urgency throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.



Scene 55 -  Titanic's Sinking: Chaos and Loss
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
234 EXT. BOAT DECK, STARBOARD SIDE 234

Murdoch, at Collapsible A, is no longer in control. The
crowd is threatening to rush the boat. They push and
jostle, yelling and shouting at the officers. The pressure
from behind pushes them forward, and one guy falls off the
edge of the deck into the water less than ten feet below.

TOMMY
Give us a chance to live, you limey
bastards!

Murdoch fires his Webley twice in the air, then point it at
the crowd.

MURDOCH
I'll shoot any man who tries to get
past me.

Cal steps up to him.

CAL
We had a deal, damn you.

Murdoch pushes him back, pointing the pistol at Cal.

MURDOCH
Get back!

A man next to Tommy rushes forward, and Tommy is shoved from
behind. Murdoch SHOOTS the first man, and seeing Tommy
coming forward, puts a bullet into his chest.

Tommy collapses, and Fabrizio grabs him, holding him in his
arms as his life flows out over the deck.

Murdoch turns to his men and salutes smartly. Then he puts
the pistol to his temple and... BLAM!

(CONTINUED)
152.
234 CONTINUED: 234

He drops like a puppet with the strings cut and topples
over the edge of the boat deck into the water only a few feet
below.

Cal stares in horror at Murdoch's body bobbing in the black
water. The MONEY FLOATS out of the pocket of his greatcoat,
the bills spreading across the surface.

The crew rush to get the last few women aboart the boat.

PURSER MCELROY
(calling above the confusion)
Any more women or children?!

THE CHILD crying in the alcove. Cal scoops her up and runs
forward, cradling her in his arms.

CAL
(forcing his way through the
crowd)
Here's a child! I've got a child!

CAL (CONT'D)
(to McElroy)
Please... I'm all she has in the
world.

McElroy nods curtly and pushes him into the boat. He spins
with his gun, brandishing it in the air to keep the other
men back. Cal gets into the boat, holding the little girl.
He takes a seat with the women.

CAL
There, there.

CUT TO:

235 INT. FIRST CLASS SMOKE ROOM 235

Thomas Andrews stands in front of the fireplace, staring at
the large painting above the mantle. The fire is still going
in the fireplace.

The room is empty except for Andrews. An ashtray falls off
the table. Behind him Jack and Rose run into the room, out
of breath and soaked. They run through, toward the aft
revolving door... then Rose recognizes him. She sees that
his lifebelt is off, lying on a table.

ROSE
Won't you even make a try for it, Mr.
Andrews?



(CONTINUED)
153.
235 CONTINUED: 235


ANDREWS
(a tear rolls down his cheek)
I'm sorry that I didn't build you a
stronger ship, young Rose.

JACK
(to her)
It's going fast... we've got to keep
moving.

Andrews picks up his lifebelt and hands it to her.

ANDREWS
Good luck to you, Rose.

ROSE
(hugging him)
And to you, Mr. Andrews.

Jack pulls her away and they run through the revolving door.

CUT TO:

236 EXT. BOAT DECK AND VARIOUS LOCATIONS 236

The band finishes the waltz. Wallace Hartley looks at the
orchestra members.

HARTLEY
Right, that's it then.

They leave him, walking forward along the deck. Hartley
puts his violin to his chin and bows the first notes of
"Nearer My God to Thee". One by one the band memebers turn,
hearing the lonely melody.

Without a word they walk back and take their places. They
join in with Hartley, filling out the sound so that it
reaches all over the ship on this still night. The vocalist
begins: "If in my dreams I be, nearer my God to thee..."

THE HYMN PLAYS OVER THE FOLLOWING SEQUENCE:

237 A seaman pulls off his lifebelt and catches up to
Captain Smith as he walks to the bridge. He proffers it,
but Smith seems to stare through him. Without a word he
turns and goes onto the bridge. He enters the enclosed
WHEELHOUSE and closes the door. He is alone, surrounded by
the gleaming brass instruments. He seems to inwardly
collapse.

238 IN THE FIRST CLASS SMOKING ROOM Andrews stands like a
statue. He pulls out his pocketwatch and checks the time.

(CONTINUED)
154.
CONTINUED:

Then he opens the face of the mantle clock and adjusts it to
the correct time: 2:12 a.m. Everything must be correct.

239 IN CAL'S PARLOUR SUITE water swirls in from the private
promenade deck. Rose's paintings are submerged. The
Picasso tranforms under the water's surface. Degas' colors
run. Monet's water lilies come to life.

240 DOWNANGLE on the two figures lying side by side, fully
clothed, on a bed in a FIRST CLASS CABIN. Elderly Ida and
Isador Strauss stare at the ceiling, holding hands like
young lovers. Water pours into the room through a doorway.
It swirls around the bed, two feet deep rising fast.

241 IN A STEERAGE CABIN somewhere in the bowels of the
ship, the young IRISH MOTHER, seen earlier stoically waiting
at the stairs, is tucking her two young children into bed.
She pulls up the covers, making sure they are all warm and
cozy. She lies down with them on the bed, speaking
soothingly and holding them.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Action"]

Summary On the sinking Titanic, Murdoch struggles to control a chaotic crowd threatening to rush lifeboats, resorting to violence. Cal confronts him about a deal, but Murdoch pushes him back. Murdoch shoots two men, including Tommy, before committing suicide. Cal forces his way into a lifeboat with a child. Andrews bids Rose farewell, while Captain Smith collapses on the bridge. Water submerges paintings in Cal's suite and fills the Strauss's cabin as they hold hands. A mother comforts her children in steerage as the ship sinks.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some moments may feel rushed due to the fast-paced nature of the scene
Critique
  • The scene depicts a chaotic and intense moment on the sinking Titanic, with a lot of action and emotional turmoil.
  • The conflict between Murdoch, Cal, and the passengers adds tension and drama to the scene.
  • The emotional impact of Tommy's death and Fabrizio's reaction is powerful and adds depth to the scene.
  • The sacrifice of Murdoch and his ultimate fate adds a tragic element to the scene.
  • The interaction between Andrews, Rose, and Jack adds a poignant moment amidst the chaos.
  • The band playing 'Nearer My God to Thee' as the ship sinks creates a haunting and emotional atmosphere.
  • The visual descriptions of the flooding and chaos on the ship are vivid and help set the scene effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the impact of the scene.
  • Ensure the dialogue is authentic and reflects the intensity of the situation.
  • Provide more sensory details to immerse the reader in the scene, such as sounds of water, screams, and gunshots.
  • Focus on the pacing to maintain the tension and urgency of the sinking ship.
  • Consider exploring the aftermath of the events in the scene to provide closure or further emotional impact.



Scene 56 -  The Titanic's Final Moments
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. BOAT DECK / BRIDGE

242 IN A WIDE SHOT we see a wave travel up the boat deck as
the bridge house sinks into the water.

243 ON THE PORT SIDE Collapsible B is picked up by water.
Working frantically, the men try to detach it from the falls
so the ship won't drag it under. Colonel Gracie hands
Lightoller a pocket knife and he saws furiously at the ropes
as the water swirls around his legs. The boat, still upside
down, is swept off the ship. Men start diving in, swimming
to stay with it.

244 IN COLLAPSIBLE A Cal sits next to the wailing child,
whom he has completely forgotten. He watches the water
rising around the men as they work, scrambling to get the
ropes cut so the ship won't drag the collapsible under.

Fabrizio removes the lifebelt from Tommy's body and
struggles to put it on as the water rises around him.

245 CAPTAIN SMITH, standing near the wheel, watches the
black water climbing the windows of the enclosed wheelhouse.
He has the stricken expression of a damned sould on Judgment
Day. The windows burst suddenly and a wall of water edged
with shards of glass slams into Smith. He disappears in a
vortex of foam.

246 Collapsible A is hit by a wave as the bow plunges
suddenly. It partially swamps the boat, washing it along
the deck.

(CONTINUED)
155.
CONTINUED:

Over a hundred passengers are plunged into the freezing
water and the area around the boat becomes a frenzy of
splashing, screaming people.

As men are trying to climb into the callapsible, Cal grabs
an oar and pushes them back into the water.

CAL
Get back! You'll swamp us!

Fabrizio, swimming for his life, gets swirled under a davit.
The ropes and pulleys tangle around him as the davit goes
under the water, and he is dragged down. Underwater he
struggles to free himself, and then kicks back to the
surface. He surfaces, gasping for air in the freezing
water.

247 WALLACE HARTLEY sees the water rolling rapidly up the
deck toward them. He holds the last note of the hymn in a
sustain, and then lowers his violin.

HARTLEY
Gentlemen, it has been a previlege
playing with you tonight.

CUT TO:

248 EXT. A-DECK AFT, PORT SIDE 248

Jack and Rose run out of the PALM COURT into a dense crowd.
Jack pushes his way to the rail and looks at the state of
the ship. The bridge is under water and tehre is chaos on
deck. Jack helps her put her lifebelt on. People stream
around them, shouting and pushing.

JACK
Okay... we keep moving aft. We have to
stay on the ship as long as
possible.

They push their way aft through the panicking crowd.

CUT TO:

249 EXT. FORWARD FUNNEL 249

Collapsible A is whirled like a leaf in the currents around
the sining ship. It slams against the side of the forward
funnel.

CAL
(to the crew in the boat)
Row! Row you bastards!!


(CONTINUED)
156.
249 CONTINUED: 249


250 NEARBY: Fabrizio is drawn up against the grating of a
STOKEHOLD VENT as water pours through it. The force of tons
of water roaring down the ship traps him against it, and he
is dragged down under the surface as the ship sinks. He
struggles to free himself but cannot.

Suddenly there is a concussion deep in the bowels of the
ship as a furnace explodes and a blast of hot air belches
out of hte ventilator, ejecting Fabrizio. He surfaces in a
roar of foam and keeps swimming.

CUT TO:

251 EXT. A-DECK / B-DECK / WELL DECK, AFT 251

Jack and Rose clamber over the A-Deck aft rail. Then, using
all his strength, he lowers her toward the deck below,
holding on with one hand. She dangles, then falls. Jack
jumps down behind her.

They join a crush of people literally clawing and scrambling
over each other to get down the narrow stairs to the well
deck... the only way aft.

Seeing that the stairs are impossible, Jack climbs over the
B-Deck railing and helps Rose over. He lowers her again,
and she falls in a heap. Baker Joughin, now three sheets to
the wind, happens to be next to her. He hauls Rose to her
feet. Jack drops down and the three of them push through
the crowd across the well deck. Near them, at the rail,
people are jumping into the water.

The ship GROANS and SHUDDERS. The man ahead of Jack is
walking like a zombie.

MAN
Yeah, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death--

JACK
You wanna walk a little faster
through that valley, fella?

CUT TO:

252 EXT. FORWARD FUNNEL 252

The stay cables along the top of the funnel snap, and they
lash like steel whips down into the water. Cal watches as
the funnel topples from its mounts. Falling like a temple
pillar twenty eight feet across it whomps into the water
with a tremendous splash. People swimming underneath it
disappear in an instant.

(CONTINUED)
157.
252 CONTINUED: 252


Fabrizio, a few feet away, is hurled back by a huge wave.
He comes up, gasping... still swimming. The water pouring
into the open end of the funnel draws in several swimmers.
The funnel sinks, disappearing, but--

Hundreds of tons of water pour down through the 30 foot hole
where the funnel stood, thundering down into the belly of
the ship. A whirlpool forms, a hole in the ocean, like at
enormous toiler-flush. T. W. McCauley, the gym instructor
swims in a frenzy as the vortex draws him in. He is sucked
down like a spider going down a drain.

Fabrizio, nearby, swims like Hell as more people are sucked
down behind him. He manages to get clear. He's going to
live no matter what it takes.

CUT TO:

253 INT. BOAT DECK FOYER / GRAND STAIRCASE 253

Water raors through the doors and windows, cascading down
the stairs like a rapids. John Jacob Astor is swept down
the marble steps to A-Deck, which is already flooded... a
roiling vortex. He grabs the headless cherub at the bottom
of the staircase and wraps his arms around it.

Astor looks up in time to see the 30 foot glass dome
overhead EXPLOSE INWARD with the wave of water washing over
it. A Niagara of sea water thunders down into the room,
blasting through the first class opulence. IT is the
Armageddon of elegance.

CUT TO:

254 OMITTED 254
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Thriller"]

Summary As the RMS Titanic sinks, chaos and desperation reign on the boat deck and bridge. On the port side, men struggle to detach Collapsible B, while on the other side, Cal watches helplessly as Captain Smith is swept away by a wave. Collapsible A is partially swamped, and Fabrizio is dragged underwater. Meanwhile, Jack and Rose make their way aft, avoiding the panic and confusion. The ship groans and shudders, and the funnel topples into the water. The glass dome in the boat deck foyer explodes, sending a torrent of water cascading down the stairs. John Jacob Astor is swept away by the current, and the scene ends with the ship continuing to sink and the passengers and crew fighting for their lives.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of disaster
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may not be fully developed due to the focus on the disaster
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and urgency of the Titanic sinking, with various characters facing life-threatening situations.
  • The tension and emotional stakes are high, especially with the impending danger and the characters' desperate attempts to survive.
  • The visual descriptions of the flooding, the struggle to detach the lifeboats, and the collapsing funnel create a vivid and intense atmosphere.
  • The character dynamics, such as Cal's desperation and Fabrizio's resilience, add depth to the scene and showcase different reactions to the disaster.
  • The scene effectively conveys the sense of impending doom and the struggle for survival amidst the sinking ship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to enhance the reader's connection to their experiences.
  • Provide more sensory details to immerse the reader in the chaotic and dangerous environment of the sinking Titanic.
  • Explore the psychological impact of the disaster on the characters, especially in moments of extreme danger or loss.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue to reveal the characters' reactions and interactions during the crisis.
  • Ensure a balance between action and emotional depth to create a well-rounded and engaging scene.



Scene 57 -  Titanic's Final Descent
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
255 INT. BELOWDECKS 255

The flooding is horrific. Walls and doors are splintered
like kindling. Water roars down corridors with pile-driver
force.

The CARTMELL FAMILY is at the top of a stairwell, jammed
against a locked gate like Jack and Rose were. Water boils
up the stairwell behind them. Bert Cartmell shakes the gate
futilely, shouting for help. Little Cora wails as the water
boils up around them all.

CUT TO:
158.



256 EXT. STERN 256

Rose and Jack struggle to climb the well deck stairs as the
ship tilts. Drunk Baker Joughin puts a hand squarely on
Rose's butt and shoves her up onto the deck.

JOUGHIN
Sorry, miss!

Hundreds of people are already on the poop deck, and more
are pouring up every second. Jack and Rose cling together
as tehy struggle across the tilting deck.

257 As the bow goes down, the STERN RISES. IN BOAT 2,
which is just off the stern, passengers gape as the giant
bronze propellers rise out of the water like gods of the
deep, FILLING FRAME behind them.

People are JUMPING from the well deck, the poop deck, the
gangway doors. Some hit debris in the water and are hurt or
killed.

258 OMITTED 258

259 OMITTED 259

260 EXT. STERN 260

ON THE POOP DECK Jack and Rose struggle aft as the angle
increases. Hundreds of passengers, clinging to every fixed
object on deck, huddle on their knees around FATHER BYLES,
who has his voice raised in prayer. They are praying,
sobbing, or just staring at nothing, their minds blank with
dread.

Pulling himself from handhold to handhold, Jack tugs Rose
aft along the deck.

JACK
Come on, Rose. We can't expect God to
do all the work for us.

They struggle on, pushing through the praying people. A MAN
loses his footing ahead and slides toward them. Jack helps
him.

261 THE PROPELLERS are twenty feet above the water and
rising faster.

262 JACK AND ROSE make it to the stern rail, right at the
base of the flagpole. They grip the rai, jammed in between
other people. It is the spot where Jack pulled her back
onto the ship, just two night... and a liftime... ago.

(CONTINUED)
159.
260 CONTINUED: 260


Above the wailing and sobbing, Father Byles' voice carries,
cracking with emotion.

FATHER BYLES
...and I saw new heavens and a new
earth. The former heavens and the
former earth had passed away and the sea
was no longer.

The lights flicker, threatening to go out. Rose grips Jack
as the stern rises into a night sky ablaze with stars.

FATHER BYLES
I also saw a new Jerusalem, the holy
city coming down out of heaven from
God, beautiful as a bride prepared to
meet her husband. I heard a loud voice
from the throne ring out this is God's
dwelling among men. He shall dwell
with them and they shall be his people
and He shall be their God who is alway
with them.

Rose stares about her at the faces of the doomed. Near them
are the DAHL FAMILY, clinging together stoically. Helga
looks at her briefly, and her eyes are infinitely sad.

Rose sees a young mother next to her, clutching her five
year old son, who is crying in terror.

MOTHER
Shhh. Don't cry. It'll be over
soon, darling. It'll all be over
soon.

FATHER BYLES
He shall wipe every tear from their
eyes. And there shall be no more
death or mourning, crying out or
pain, for the former world has
passed away.

CUT TO:

INT. SHIP-- VARIOUS

As the ship tilts further everything not bolted down inside
shifts.

263 CUPBOARDS burst open in the pantry showering the floor
with tons of china. A PIANO slides across the floor,
crashing into a wall. FURNITURE tumbles across the Smoking
Room floor.

(CONTINUED)
160.
CONTINUED:


264 ON THE A-DECK PROMENADE passengers lose their grip and
slide down the wooden deck like a bobsled run, hundreds of
feet before they hit the water. TRUDY BOLT, Rose's maid,
slips as she struggles along the railing and slides away
screaming.

265 AT THE STERN the propellers are 100 feet out of the
water and rising. Panicking people leap from the poop deck
rail, fall screaming and hit the water like mortar rounds.
A man falls from the poop deck, hitting the bronze hub of
the starboard propeller with a sickening smack.

266 SWIMMERS LOOK UP and see the stern towering over them
like a monolith, the propellers rising against the stars.
110 feet. 120.

267 AT THE STERN RAIL a man jumps. IN HIS POV we fall
seemingly forever, right past one of the giant screws. The
water rushes up--

CUT TO:

EXT. TITANIC / BOAT 6

268 TRACKING SLOWLY IN on Ruth as the sounds of the dying
ship and the screaming people come across the water.

269 REVERSE / HER POV: IN A WIDE SHOT we see the spectacle
of the Titanic, her lights blazing, reflecting in the still
water. Its stern is high in the air, angles up over forty
five degrees. The propellers are 150 feet out of the water.
Over a thousand passengers cling to the decks, looking from
a distance like a swarm of bees.

The image is shocking, unbelieveable, unthinkable. Ruth
stares at the spectacle, unable to frame it or put it into
any proportion.

MOLLY BROWN
God Almighty.

The great liner's lights flicker.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Adventure"]

Summary Amidst the sinking ship's chaos, hundreds of passengers desperately fight for their lives. The Cartmell family becomes trapped in a flooding stairwell while Jack and Rose witness the propellers rising from the water. As the ship succumbs, people leap into the icy depths or cling to the rails in despair. Father Byles offers prayers, and Helga Dahl exchanges a solemn glance with Rose. Amidst the turmoil, Jack and Rose strive to remain hopeful.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of the sinking
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some minor pacing issues in the description of the sinking
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and desperation of the Titanic sinking, with vivid descriptions of the flooding, people jumping overboard, and the ship tilting.
  • The emotional impact of the scene is palpable, with moments of prayer, sobbing, and resignation as passengers face their impending doom.
  • The dialogue from Father Byles adds a poignant and haunting layer to the scene, emphasizing the tragic nature of the situation.
  • The visual descriptions paint a vivid picture of the unfolding disaster, from the rising propellers to the panicked passengers and the shifting of objects inside the ship.
  • The scene effectively captures the sense of impending tragedy and the sheer scale of the disaster, creating a tense and dramatic atmosphere.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Jack and Rose to deepen their characters' reactions to the unfolding events.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion in the scene, such as sounds of creaking metal, rushing water, or distant screams.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene remains consistent to maintain the tension and urgency of the sinking ship.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or introspection for one of the characters to provide a brief respite from the chaos and highlight the emotional impact of the situation.
  • Continue to build on the themes of sacrifice, survival, and human resilience to further engage the audience and evoke a strong emotional response.



Scene 58 -  The Titanic's Final Plunge
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
270 INT. ENGINE ROOM 270

In darkness Chief Engineer Bell hangs onto a pipe at the
master braker panel. Around him men climb through tilted
cyclopean mahcines with electric hand-torches. It is a
black hell of breaking pipes, spraying water, and groaning
machinery threatening to tear right out of its bedplates.


(CONTINUED)
161.
270 CONTINUED: 270


Water sprays down, hitting the breaker panel, but Bell will
not leave his post. CLUNK. The breakers kick. He slams
them in again and-- WHOOM! a blast of light! Something
melts and arcing fills the engine room with nightmarish
light--

CUT TO:

271 EXT. TITANIC 271

WIDE SHOT. The lights go out all over the ship. Titanic
becomes a vast black silhouette against the stars.

IN COLLAPSIBLE C: BRUCE ISMAY has his back to the ship,
unable to watch the great steamer die. He is catatonic with
remorse, his mind overloaded. He can avert his eyes, but he
can't block out the sounds of dying people and machinery.

A loud CRACKING REPORT comes across the water.

CUT TO:

272 EXT. BOAT DECK 272

Near the third funnel a man clutches the ship's rail. He
stares down as the DECK SPLITS right between his feet. A
yawning chasm opens with a THUNDER of breaking steel

LOVEJOY is clutching the railing on the roof of the
Officers' Mess. He watches in horror as the ship's
structure RIPS APART right in front of him. He gapes down
into a widening maw, seeing straight down into the bowels of
the ship, amid a BOOMING CONCUSSION like the sound of
artillery. People falling into the widening crevasse look
like dolls.

The stay cables on the funnel part and snap across the decks
like whips, ripping off davits and ventilators. A man is
hit by a whipping cable and snatched OUT OF FRAME. Another
cable smashes the rail next to Lovejoy and it rips free. He
falls backward into the pit of jagged metal.

Fires, explosions and sparks light the yawning chasm as the
hull splits down through nine decks to the keel. The sea
pours into the gaping wound--

CUT TO:

273 INT. ENGINE ROOM 273

It is a thundering black hell. Men scream as monstrous
machinery comes apart around them, steel frames twisting
like taffy.

(CONTINUED)
162.
273 CONTINUED: 273

Their torches illuminate the roaring, foaming demon of
water as it races at the through the manchines. Trying to
climb they are overtaken in seconds.

CUT TO:

274 EXT. TITANIC - NIGHT 274

The STERN ALF of the ship, almost four hundred feet long,
falls back toward the water. On the poop deck everyone
screams as they feel themselves plummeting. The sound goes
up like the roar of fans at a baseball stadium when a run is
scored.

Swimming in the water directly under the stern a few
unfortunates shriek as they see the keel coming down on them
like God's bootheel. The massive stern section falls back
almost level, thundering down into the sea and pushing out a
mighty wave of displaced water.

Jack and Rose struggle to hole onto the stern rail. They
feel the ship seemingly RIGHT ITSELF. Some of those praying
think it is salvation.

SEVERAL PEOPLE
We're saved!

Jack looks at Rose and shakes his head, grimly.

Now the horrible mechanics play out. Pulled down by the
awesome weight of the flooded bow, the buoyant stern tilts
up rapidly. They feel the RUSH OF ASCENT as the fantail
angles up again. Everyone is clinging to benches, railings,
ventilators... anything to keep from sliding as the stern
lifts.

The stern goes up and up, past 45 degrees, then past sixty.

People start to fall, sliding and tumbling. They skid down
the deck, screaming and flailing to grab onto somehting.
They wrench other people loose and pull them down as well.
There is a pile-up of bodies at the forward rail. The DAHL
FAMILY falls one by one.

JACK
We have to move!

He climbs over the stern rail and reaches back for Rose.
She is terrified to move. He grabs her hand.

JACK
Come on! I've got you!



(CONTINUED)
163.
274 CONTINUED: 274


Jack pulls her over the rail. It is the same place he
pulled her over the rail two nights earlier, going the other
direction. She gets over just as the railing is going
HORIZONTAL, and the deck VERITCAL. Jack grips her fiercely.

The stern is now straight up in the air... a rumbling black
monolith standing against the stars. It hangs there like
that for a long grace note, its buoyancy stable.

Rose lies on the railing, looking down fifteen stories to
the boiling sea at the base of the stern section. People
near them, who didn't climb over, hang from the railing,
their legs dangling over the long drop. They fall one by
one, plummeting down the vertical face of the poop deck.
Some of them bounce horribly off deck benches and
ventilators.

Jack and Rose lie side by side on what was the vertical face
of the hull, gripping the railing, which is now horizontal.
Just beneath their feet are the gold letters TITANIC
emblazoned across the stern.

Rose stares down terrified at the black ocean waiting below
to claim them. Jack looks to his left and sees Baker
Joughin, crouching on the hull, holding onto the railing.
It is a surreal moment.

JOUGHIN
(nodding a greeting)
Helluva night.

The final relentless plunge begins as the stern section
floods. Looking down a hundred feet to the water, we drop
like an elevator with Jack and Rose.

JACK
(talking fast)
Take a deep breath and hold it right
before we go into the water. The
ship will suck us down. Kick for the
surface and keep kicking. Don't let go
of my hand. We're gonna make it Rose.
Trust me.

She stares at the water coming up at them, and grips his
hand harder.

ROSE
I trust you.

Below them the poop deck is disappearing. The plunge
gathers speed... the boiling surface engulfs the docking
bridge and then rushes up the last thirty feet.

(CONTINUED)
164.
274 CONTINUED: (2) 274


278 IN A HIGH SHOT, we see the stern descend into the
boiling sea. The name TITANIC disappears, and the tiny
figures of Jack and Rose vanish under the water.

Where the ship stood, now there is nothing. Only the black
ocean.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of the sinking Titanic, Chief Engineer Bell remains resolute in the engine room. Darkness engulfs the ship as its hull fractures, leading to catastrophic explosions and fires. Passengers are met with a horrific fate as they're sucked into the widening abyss or crushed by debris. The stern section plunges back into the water, nearly drowning those on deck. However, as buoyancy kicks in, the stern rises vertically, forcing survivors to cling desperately. Jack and Rose find themselves on the railing, overlooking the vast expanse of the ocean. With grim determination, they brace themselves for the inevitable plunge into the icy depths.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of events
  • Emotional depth of characters
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may not be fully developed or explored in depth
Critique
  • The scene in the engine room is intense and chaotic, effectively conveying the sense of impending doom as the ship sinks.
  • The visual descriptions of the machinery breaking and water flooding in create a vivid and nightmarish atmosphere.
  • The transition to the exterior of the ship with the lights going out and the Titanic becoming a silhouette against the stars is a powerful moment.
  • The portrayal of Bruce Ismay's catatonic state and the sounds of dying people and machinery add to the sense of tragedy and loss.
  • The imagery of the ship splitting apart and people falling into the widening chasm is dramatic and impactful.
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and destruction as the ship sinks, with vivid descriptions of the ship's structure ripping apart and people falling to their deaths.
  • The use of sound effects like cracking reports and booming concussions adds to the tension and realism of the scene.
  • The visual of the hull splitting down through nine decks to the keel and the sea pouring into the gaping wound is haunting and evocative.
  • The description of the engine room as a thundering black hell and the men overtaken by the roaring, foaming demon of water is chilling and intense.
  • The depiction of the stern falling back toward the water and people clinging to anything to avoid falling is a gripping and suspenseful moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters in the scene, especially Chief Engineer Bell and Bruce Ismay, to further engage the audience.
  • Enhance the dialogue to reflect the urgency and desperation of the situation, adding more impactful lines that resonate with the gravity of the sinking ship.
  • Provide more sensory details to immerse the reader in the chaos and destruction of the scene, such as sounds of metal twisting, water rushing, and people screaming.
  • Consider incorporating internal thoughts and emotions of the characters to give insight into their mindset during this harrowing moment.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the different settings and perspectives to maintain the flow and coherence of the scene.
  • Explore the psychological impact of the sinking on the characters, delving into their fears, regrets, and hopes as they face imminent disaster.



Scene 59 -  Despair in the icy aftermath
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
279 EXT. OCEAN / UNDERWATER AND SURFACE 279

Bodies are whirled and spun, some limp as dolls, others
struggling spasmodically, as the vortex sucks them down and
tumbles them.

280 Jack rises INTO FRAME F.G. kicking hard for the
surface... holding tightly to Rose, pulling her up.

281 AT THE SURFACE: a roiling chaos of screaming,
thrashing people. Over a thousand people are now floating
where the ship went down. Some are stunned, gasping for
breath. Others are crying, praying, moaning, shouting...
screaming.

Jack and Rose surface among them. They barely have time to
gasp for air before people are clawing at them. People
driven insane by the water, 4 degrees below freezing, a cold
so intense it is indistinguishable form death by fire.

A man pushes Rose under, trying to climb on top of her...
senselessly trying to get out of the water, to climb onto
anything. Jack PUNCHES him repeatedly, pulling her free.

JACK
Swim, Rose! SWIM!

She tries, but her strokes are not as effective as his
because of her lifejacket. They break out of the clot of
people. He has to find some kind of flotation, anything to
get her out of the freezing water.

JACK
Keep swimming. Keep moving. Come
one, you can do it.

All about them there is a tremendous wailing, screaming and
moaning... a chorus of tormented souls. And beyond that...
nothing but black water stretching to the horizon. The
sense of isolation and hopelessness is overwhelming.

CUT TO:

282 OMITTED 282
165.



283 EXT. OCEAN 283

Jack strokes rhythmically, the effort keeping him from
freezing.

JACK
Look for something floating. Some
debris... wood... anything.

ROSE
It's so cold.

JACK
I know. I know. Help me, here.
Look around.

His words keep her focused, taking her mind off the wailing
around them. Rose scans the water, panting, barely able to
draw a breath. She turns and... SCREAMS.

A DEVIL is right in from of her face. It is the black
FRENCH BULLDOG, swimming right at her like a seamonster in
the darkness, its coal eyes bugging. It motors past her,
like it is headed for Newfoundland.

Beyond it Rose sees somehting in the water.

ROSE
What's that?

Jack sees what she is pointing to, and they make for it
together. It is a piece of wooden debris, intricately
carved. He pushes her up and she slithers onto it belly
down.

But when Jack tries to get up onto the thing, it tilts and
submerges, almost dumping Rose off. It is clearly only big
enough to support her. He clings to it, close to her,
keeping his upper body out of the water as best he can.

Their breath floats around them in a cloud as they pant from
exertion. A MAN swims toward them, homing in on the piece
of debris. Jack warns him back.

JACK
It's just enough for this lady...
you'll push it under.

MAN
Let me try at least, or I'll die
soon.



(CONTINUED)
166.
283 CONTINUED: 283


JACK
You'll die quicker if you come any
closer.

MAN
Yes, I see. Good luck to you then.
(swimming off)
God bless.

CUT TO:

284 EXT. COLLAPSIBLE A / OCEAN 284

The boat is overloaded and half-flooded. Men cling to the
sides in the water. Others, swimming, are drawn to it as
their only hope. Cal, standing in the boat, slaps his oar
in the water as a warning.

CAL
Stay back! Keep off!

Fabrizio, exhausted and near the limit, makes it almost to
the boat. Cal CLUBS HIM with the oar, cutting open his
scalp.

FABRIZIO
You don't... understand... I have... to
get... to America.

CAL
(pointing with the oar)
It's that way!

CLOSE ON FABRIZIO as he floats, panting each breath agony.
You see the spirit leave him.

FABRIZIO'S POV: Cal in SLOW MOTION, yelling and wielding
the oar. A demon in a tuxedo. The image fades to black.

CUT TO:

285 EXT. OCEAN 285

JACK AND ROSE still float amid a chorus of hte damned. Jack
sees the ship's officer nearby, CHIEF OFFICER WILDE. He is
blowing his whistle furiously, knowing the sound will carry
over the water for miles.

JACK
The boats will come back for us,
Rose. Hold on just a little longer.
They had to row away for the suction and
now they'll be coming back.

(CONTINUED)
167.
285 CONTINUED: 285


She nods, his words helping her. She is shivering
uncontrollably, her lips blue and her teeth chattering.

ROSE
Thank God for you Jack.

People are still screaming, calling to the lifeboats.

WOMAN
Come back! Please! We know you can
hear us. For God's sake!

MAN
Please... help us. Save one life!

SAVE ON LIFE!

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of the Titanic sinking, Jack and Rose desperately struggle to stay afloat in the frigid water. As a vortex engulfs the ship, they spot a piece of debris and cling to it for survival. However, the space is limited, forcing Jack to sacrifice his own safety to keep Rose above the surface. They witness the horrific act of Cal, a ship's officer, mercilessly clubbing a drowning passenger to prevent him from boarding an overcrowded lifeboat. Jack attempts to reassure Rose that help will return, but their hope dwindles as they float on the debris, surrounded by the sounds of despair and the impending doom that engulfs them.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of survival instincts
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may not be fully developed or explored in depth
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and desperation of the Titanic sinking, with vivid descriptions of the struggle for survival in freezing waters.
  • The tension and urgency are well conveyed through the interactions between the characters, such as Jack and Rose trying to find flotation and the man pushing Rose under the water.
  • The scene effectively portrays the sense of isolation and hopelessness as the characters are surrounded by wailing, screaming, and moaning in the vast expanse of the ocean.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene, such as the cold so intense it is indistinguishable from death by fire, add to the atmosphere of terror and despair.
  • The dialogue between Jack and Rose helps to keep Rose focused and distracted from the chaos around them, adding a sense of connection and support in the face of tragedy.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion in the scene, such as describing the biting cold of the water or the taste of salt in the air.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the situation on the characters in more depth, delving into their thoughts and feelings as they struggle to survive.
  • Consider incorporating more internal monologue to provide insight into the characters' mental states and reactions to the unfolding disaster.
  • Ensure that the actions and reactions of the characters remain consistent with their established personalities and motivations throughout the scene.
  • Consider adding more variety in sentence structure and pacing to create a dynamic and engaging narrative flow.



Scene 60 -  Aftermath of the Titanic's Sinking
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
286 EXT. LIFEBOATS / OCEAN 286

IN BOAT 6: Ruth has her ears covered against the wailing in
the darkness. The first class women in the boat sit,
stunned, listening to the sounds of hundreds screaming.

HITCHINS
They'll pull us right down I tell ya!

MOLLY
Aw knock it off, yer scarin' me.
Come on girls, grab your oars.
Let's go.
(nobody moves)
Well come on!

The women won't meet her eyes. They huddle into their
ermine wraps.

MOLLY
I don't understand a one of you.
What's the matter with you? It's
your men back there! We got plenty a'
room for more.

HITCHINS
If you don't shut that hole in yer
face, there'll be one less in this
boat!

Ruth keeps her ears covered and her eyes closed, shutting it
all out.



(CONTINUED)
168.
286 CONTINUED: 286


287 IN BOAT ONE: Sir Cosmo and Lucile Duff-Gordon sit with
ten other people in a boat that is two thirds empty. They
are two hundred yards from the screaming in the darkness.

FIREMAN HENDRICKSON
We should do something.

Lucile squeezes Cosmo's hand and pleads him with her eyes.
She is terrified.

SIR COSMO
It's out of the question.

The crewmembers, intimidated by a nobleman, acquiesce. They
hunch guiltily, hoping the sound will stop soon.

TWENTY BOATS, most half full, float in the darkness. None
of them make a move.

CUT TO:

288 EXT. OCEAN 288

Jack and Rose drift under the blazing stars. The water is
glassy, with only the faintest undulating swell. Rose can
actually see the stars reflecting on the black mirror of the
sea.

Jack squeezes the water out of her long coat, tucking it in
tightly around her legs. He rubs her arms. His face is
chalk with in the darkness. A low MOANING in the darknes
around them.

ROSE
It's getting quiet.

JACK
Just a few more minutes. It'll take
them a while to get the boats
organized...

Rose is unmoving, just staring into space. She knows the
truth. There won't be any boats. Behind Jack she sees that
Officer Wilde has stopped moving. He is slumped in his
lifejacket, looking almost asleep. He has died of exposure
already.

JACK
I don't know about you, but I intend to
write a strongly worded letter to the
White Star Line about all this.



(CONTINUED)
169.
288 CONTINUED: 288


She laughs weakly, but it sounds like a gasp of fear. Rose
finds his eyes in the dim light.

ROSE
I love you Jack.

He takes her hand.

JACK
No... don't say your good-byes,
Rose. Don't you give up. Don't do it.

ROSE
I'm so cold.

JACK
You're going to get out of this...
you're going to go on and you're
going to make babies and watch them
grow and you're going to die an old
lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not
this night. Do you understand me?

ROSE
I can't feel my body.

JACK
Rose, listen to me. Listen.
Winning that ticket was the best
thing that ever happened to me.

Jack is having trouble getting the breath to speak.

JACK
It brought me to you. And I'm
thankful, Rose. I'm thankful.

His voice is trembling with the cold which is working tis
way to his heart. But his eyes are unwavering.

JACK
You must do me this honor... promise me
you will survive... that you will never
give up... no matter what happens...
no matter how hopeless... promise me now,
and never let go of that promise.

ROSE
I promise.

JACK
Never let go.


(CONTINUED)
170.
288 CONTINUED: (2) 288


ROSE
I promise. I will never let go,
Jack. I'll never let go.

She grips his hand and they lie with their heads together.
It is quiet now, except for the lapping of the water.

CUT TO:

289 EXT. LIFEBOATS / OCEAN - NIGHT 289

Fifth Officer Lowe, the impetuous young Welshman, has gotten
Boats 10, 12 and Collapsible D together with his own Boat
14. A demon of energy, he's had everyone hold the boats
together and is transferring passengers from 14 into the
others, to empty his boat for a rescue attempt.

As the women step gingerly across the other boats, Lowe sees
a shawled figure in too much of a hurry. He rips the shawl
off, and finds himself staring into the face of a man. He
angrily shoves the stowaway into another boat and turns to
his crew of three.

LOWE
Right, man the oars.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Romance"]

Summary The scene unfolds in the aftermath of the Titanic's sinking, with lifeboats filled with survivors floating in the darkness. Ruth attempts to drown out the screams of those left behind, while Molly urges the first-class women to help row, but they refuse. In another boat, Sir Cosmo and Lucile Duff-Gordon remain comfortable, ignoring pleas for assistance. Jack and Rose drift in the icy water, their bodies succumbing to the cold, yet Jack encourages Rose to hold on and promises her survival. As the boats drift away, Fifth Officer Lowe organizes a rescue attempt, discovering and removing a stowaway from one of the boats.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and desperation of the Titanic sinking, with the passengers in the lifeboats facing a grim reality.
  • The dialogue and actions of the characters convey the sense of fear and helplessness as they wait for rescue.
  • The emotional exchange between Jack and Rose as they face their fate is poignant and adds depth to their relationship.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as the characters come to terms with the impending disaster.
  • The visual descriptions of the dark ocean and the quiet moments between Jack and Rose create a somber atmosphere.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the water, the coldness of the night, and the smell of the sea.
  • Explore the internal thoughts and emotions of the characters to provide deeper insight into their experiences and motivations.
  • Consider incorporating more interactions between the characters in the lifeboats to show the varying reactions and coping mechanisms of the passengers.
  • Focus on the pacing of the scene to maintain a sense of urgency and suspense throughout.
  • Consider adding a resolution or aftermath to the scene to provide closure and a sense of finality to the characters' stories.



Scene 61 -  Tragedy in the Water
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
290 EXT. OCEAN / BOAT 14 290

The beam of an electric torch plays across the water like a
searchlight as boat 14 comes toward us.

ANGLE FROM THE BOAT as the torch illuminates floating
debris, a poignant trail of flotsam: a violin, a child's
wooden soldier, a framed photo of a steerage family. Daniel
Marvin's wooden Biograph camera.

Then, their white lifebelts bobbing in the darkness like
signoposts, the first bodies come into the torch's beam.
The people are dead but not drowned, killed by the freezing
water. Some look like they could be sleeping. Others stare
with frozen eyes at the stars.

Soon bodies are so thick the seamen cannot row. They hit
the oars on the heads of floating men and women... a wooden
thunk. One seaman throws up. Lowe sees a mother floating
with her arms frozen around her lifeless baby.




(CONTINUED)
171.
290 CONTINUED: 290


LOWE
(the worst moment of his life)
We waited too long.

CUT TO:

291 EXT. OCEAN 291

IN A HOVERING DOWNANGLE we see Jack and Rose floating in the
black water. The stars reflect in the mill pond surface,
and the two of them seem to be floating in interstellar
space. They are absolutely still. Their hands are locked
together. Rose is staring upwards at the canopy of stars
wheeling above her. The music is transparent, floating...
as the long sleep steals over Rose, and she feels peace.

CLOSE ON Rose's face. Pale, like the faces of the dead.
She seems to be floating in a void. Rose is in a semi-
hallucinatory state. She knows she is dying. Her lips
barely move as she sings a scrap of Jack's song:

ROSE
"Come Josephine in my flying
machine..."

ROSE'S POV: The stars. Like you've never seen them. The
Milky Way a glorious band from horizon to horizon.

A SHOOTING STAR flares... a line of light across the
heavens.

TIGHT ON ROSE again. We see that her hair is dusted with
frost crystals. Her breathing is so shallow, she is almost
motionless. Her eyes track down from the stars to the
water.

ROSE'S POV... SLOW MOTION: The silhouetter of a boat
crossing the stars. She sees men in it, rowing so slowly
the oars lift out of the syrupy water, leaving weightless
pearls floating in the air. The VOICES of the men sound
slow and DISTORTED.

Then the lookout flashes his torch toward her and the light
flares across the water, silouetting the bobbing corpses in
between. It flicks past her motionless form and moves on.
The boat is 50 feet away, and moving past her. The men look
away.

Rose lifts her head to turn to Jack. We see that her hair
has frozen to the wood under her.




(CONTINUED)
172.
291 CONTINUED: 291


ROSE
(barely audible)
Jack.

She touches his shoulder with her free hand. He doesn't
respond. Rose gently turns his face toward her. It is
rimed with frost.

He seems to be sleeping peacefully.

But he is not asleep.

Rose can only stare at his still face as the realization
goes through her.

ROSE
Oh, Jack.

All hope, will and spirit leave her. She looks at the boat.
It is further away now, the voices fainter. Rose watches
them go.

She closes her eyes. She is so weak, and there just seems
to be no reason to even try.

And then... her eyes snap open.

She raises her head suddenly, cracking the ice as she rips
her hair off the wood. She calls out, but her voice is so
weak they don't hear her. The boat is invisible now, the
torch light a star impossibly far away. She struggles to
draw breath, calling again.

292 IN THE BOAT Lowe hears nothing behind him. He points
to something ahead, turning the tiller.

293 ROSE struggles to move. Her hand, she realizes, is
actually frozen to Jack's. She breaths on it, melting the
ice a little, and gently unclasps their hands, breaking away
a thin tinkling film.

ROSE
I won't let go. I promise.

She releases him and he sinks into the black water. He
seems to fade out like a spirit returning to some immaterial
plane.

Rose rolls off the floating staircase and plunges into the
icy water. She swims to Chief Officer Wilde's body and
grabs his whistle. She starts to BLOW THE WHISTLE with all
the strength in her body. Its sound slaps across the still
water.

(CONTINUED)
173.
291 CONTINUED: (2) 291


294 IN BOAT 14 Lowe whips around at the sound of the
whistle.

LOWE
(turning the tiller)
Row back! That way! Pull!

Rose keeps blowing as the boat comes to her. She is still
blowing when Lowe takes the whistle from her mouth as they
haul her into the boat. She slips into uncosciousness and
they scramble to cover her with blankets...

DISSOLVE TO:

295 INT. IMAGING SHACK / KELDYSH 295

EXTREME CLOSEUP of Rose's ancient, wrinkled face. Present
day.

OLD ROSE
Fifteen hundred people went into the sea
when Titanic sank from under us. There
were twenty boats floating nearby and
only one came back. One. Six were
saved from the water, myself
included. Six out of fifteen hundred.

As she speaks THE CAMERA TRACKS slowly across the faces of
Lizzy and the salvage crew on KELDYSH. Lovett, Bodine,
Buell, the others... the reality of what happened here 84
years before has hit them like never before. With her story
Rose has put them on Titanic in its final hours, and or the
first time, they do feel like graverobbers.

Lovett, for the first time, has even forgotten to ask about
the diamond.

OLD ROSE
Afterward, the seven hundred people in
the boats had nothing to do but
waith... wait to die, wait to live,
wait for an absolution which would
never come.

DISSOLVE TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Tragedy"]

Summary Amidst the wreckage of the Titanic, Boat 14 discovers a grim trail of debris and bodies. Jack and Rose, lost and freezing, grapple with their fading hope. Rose's desperate cry for help is answered by Lowe, rescuing her as the horrors of the disaster unfold.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of tragedy
  • Engaging storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Potentially overwhelming sadness for some viewers
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the desperation and hopelessness of the survivors in the aftermath of the Titanic sinking.
  • The imagery of the floating debris and bodies creates a haunting and poignant visual representation of the tragedy.
  • The contrast between the peacefulness of the stars and the chaos of the situation adds depth to the scene.
  • The moment of realization and acceptance of death by Rose is portrayed with emotional depth and sensitivity.
  • The scene effectively conveys the harsh reality of the survivors' situation and the overwhelming sense of loss and tragedy.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Jack's character in his final moments.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience.
  • Explore the internal thoughts and feelings of the characters to further engage the audience.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue or inner monologue to convey the characters' emotions and thoughts.
  • Focus on building tension and suspense to heighten the impact of the scene.



Scene 62 -  Aftermath of the Disaster
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
296 EXT. LIFEBOATS / OPEN SEA - PRE-DAWN 296

MATCHING MOVE as the camera tracks along the faces of the
saved.




(CONTINUED)
174.
296 CONTINUED: 296


DISSOLVE TO: ANOTHER BOAT, and then ANOTHER, seeing faces
we know among the survivors: Ismay in a trance, just
staring and trembling... Cal, sipping from a hip flask
offered to him by a black-faced stoker... Ruth hugging
herself, rocking gently.

IN BOAT 14: CLOSE ON ROSE, lying swaddled. Only her face
is visile, white as the moon. The man next to her jumps up,
pointing and yelling. Soon everyone is looking and shouting
excitedly. In Rose's POV it is all silent, SLOW MOTION.

IN SLOW-MOTION SILENCE we see Lowe light a green flare and
wave it as everyone shouts and cheers. Rose doesn't react.
She floats beyond all human emotion.

DISSOLVE TO:

298 EXT. LIFEBOATS / OPEN SEA - DAWN 298

Golden lgiht washes across the white boats, which gloat in a
calm sea reflecting the rosy sky. All around them, like a
flotilla of sailing ships, are icebergs. The CARPATHIA sits
nearby, as boats row toward her.

DISSOLVE TO:

299 EXT. LIFEBOATS / OCEAN / CARPATHIA MONTAGE - DAY 299

IMAGES DISSOLVE into one another: a ship's hull looming,
with the letters CARPATHIA visible on the bow... Rose
watching, rocked by the sea, her face blank... seamen
helping survivors up the rope ladder to the Carpathia's
gangway doors... two women crying and hugging each other
inside the ship... ALL SILENT, ALL IN SLOW-MOTION. There is
just music, so gentle and sad, part elegy, part hymn, part
aching song of love lost forever.

THE IMAGES CONTINUE to music... Rose, outside of time,
outside of herself, coming into Carpathia, barely able to
stand... Rose being draped wtih warm blankets and given hot
tea... BRUCE ISMAY climbing aboard. He has the face and
eyes of a damned soul.

As Ismay walks along the hall, guided by a crewman toward
the doctor's cabin, he passes rows of seated and standing
widows. He must run the gauntlet of their accusing gazes.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Tragedy"]

Summary Survivors in lifeboats are in a state of shock and grief. Rose lies swaddled and unresponsive. Ismay walks along the deck of the Carpathia in a trance. The scene dissolves to dawn, with golden light washing over the white boats and icebergs. Survivors are helped up the rope ladder to the Carpathia.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of chaos
  • Emotional depth of characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
Critique
  • The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension considering the aftermath of the Titanic sinking.
  • The characters' reactions seem subdued and detached, especially given the traumatic events they have just experienced.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the emotional impact of the survivors' rescue and the realization of the tragedy that has occurred.
  • The slow-motion and silent sequences may not effectively convey the gravity of the situation and the survivors' emotional turmoil.
  • The transition from the chaos of the sinking ship to the calmness of the rescue scene feels disjointed and lacks a seamless flow.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters' reactions, showing the trauma and relief of surviving such a catastrophic event.
  • Enhance the sense of urgency and tension in the scene to reflect the aftermath of the Titanic sinking.
  • Explore the survivors' psychological state and the impact of the tragedy on their mental well-being.
  • Reconsider the use of slow-motion and silence to ensure they effectively convey the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the chaos of the sinking ship and the calmness of the rescue scene to maintain the narrative flow.



Scene 63 -  A Silent Farewell on the Carpathia
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
300 EXT. DECK / CARPATHIA - DAY 300

It is the afternoon of the 15th. Cal is searching the faces
of the widows lining the deck, looking for Rose.

(CONTINUED)
175.
300 CONTINUED: 300

The deck of Carpathia is crammed with huddled people, and
even the recovered lifeboats of Titanic. On a hatch cover
sits an enormous pile of lifebelts.

He keeps walking toward the stern. Seeing Cal's tuxedo, a
steward approaches him.

CARPATHIA STEWARD
You won't find any of your people
back here, sir. It's all steerage.

Cal ignores him and goes amongst this wrecked group, looking
under shawls and blankets at one bleak face after another.

Rose is sipping hot tea. Her eyes focus on him as he *
approaches her. He barely recognizes her. She looks like a *
refugee, her matted hair hanging in her eyes. *

ROSE *
Yes, I lived. How awkward for you. *

CAL *
Rose... your mother and I have been *
looking for you-- *

She holds up her hand, stopping him. *

ROSE *
Please don't. Don't talk. Just *
listen. We will make a deal, since *
that is something you understand. *
From this moment you do not exist for *
me, nor I for you. You shall not see *
me again. And you will not attempt to *
find me. In return I will keep my *
silence. Your actions last night need *
never come to light, and you will get *
to keep the honor you have carefully *
purchased. *

She fixes him with a glare as cold and hard as the ice which *
changed their lives. *

ROSE *
Is this in any way unclear? *

CAL *
(after a long beat) *
What do I tell your mother? *

ROSE *
Tell her that her daughter died with the *
Titanic. *


(CONTINUED)
176.
300 CONTINUED: (2) 300


She stands, turning to the rail. Dismissing him. We see *
Cal stricken with emotion. *

CAL *
You're precious to me, Rose. *

ROSE *
Jewels are precious. Goodbye, Mr. *
Hockley. *

We see that in his way, the only way he knows, he does truly *
love her. *

After a moment, he turns and walks away. *

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
That was the last time I ever saw
him. He married, of course, and
inherited his millions. The crash of
28 hit his interests hard, and he put a
pistol in his mouth that year. His
children fought over the scraps of his
estate like hyenas, or so I read.

301 ANGLE ON ROSE, at the railing of the Carpathia, 9pm
April 18th. She gazes up at the Statue of Liberty, looking
just as it does today, welcoming her home with her glowing
torch. It is just as Fabrizio saw it, so clearly, in his
mind.

302 LATER CARPATHIA DISCORGES THE SURVIVORS at the Cunard
pier, Pier 54. Over 30,000 people line the dock and fill
the surrounding streets. The magnesium flashes of the
photographers go off like small bombs, lighting an amazing
tableau.

Several hundred police keep the mob back. The dock is
packes with friends and reletives, officials, ambulances,
and the press--

Reporters and photographers swarm everywhere... 6 deep at
the foot of the gangways, lining the tops of cars and
trucks... it is the 1912 equicalent of a media circus. They
jostle to get close to the survivors, tugging on them as
they pass and shouting over each other to ask them
questions.

Rose is covered with a whoollen shawl and walking with a
group of steerage passengers. Immigration officers are
asking them questions as they come off the gangway.

IMMIGRATION OFFICER
Name?

(CONTINUED)
177.
300 CONTINUED: (3) 300


ROSE
Dawson. Rose Dawson.

The officer steers her toward a holding area for processing.
Rose walks forward with the dazed immigrants. The BOOM! of
photographer's magnesium flashes cause them to flinch, and
the glare is blinding. There is a sudden disturbance near
her as two men burst through the cordon, running to embrace
an older woman along the survivors, who cries out with joy.
The reporters converge on this emotional scene, and flashes
explode.

Rose uses this moment to slip away into the crowd. She
pushes through the jostling people, moving with purpose, and
none challenges her in the confusion.

OLD ROSE (V.O.)
Can you exchange one life for
another? A caterpillar turns into a
butterfly. If a mindless insect can do
it, why couldn't I? Was it any more
unimaginable than the sinking of the
Titanic?

TRACKING WITH HER as she walks away, further and further
until she flashes and the roar are far behind her, and shi
is till walking, determined.

CUT TO:

303 INT. IMAGING SHACK / KELDYSH 303

Old Rose sits with the group in the Imaging Shack, lit by
the blue glow of the screens. She holds the haircomb with
the jade butterfly on the handle in her gnarled hands.

BODINE
We never found anything on Jack.
There's no record of him at all.

OLD ROSE
No, there wouldn't be, would there? And
I've never spoken of him until now, not
to anyone.
(to Lizzy)
Not even your grandfather. A
woman's heart is a deep ocean of
secrets. But now you all know there was
a man named Jack Dawson, and that he
saved me, in every way that a person can
be saved.
(closing her eyes)
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
178.
303 CONTINUED: 303
OLD ROSE (cont'd)
I don't even have a picture of him. He
exists now only in my memory.

CUT TO:

304 OMITTED 304
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Cal searches for Rose on the Carpathia, finding her disguised among refugees. Rose demands they pretend never to have met again, citing Cal's reputation and wealth. After an emotional goodbye, Cal accepts her terms, agreeing to inform her mother of her supposed demise. Despite his heartbreak, Cal prioritizes their societal status, while Rose remains resolute in her decision to end their connection.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Closure
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to fully explore the complex dynamics between Cal and Rose after the Titanic sinking.
  • The dialogue between Cal and Rose feels somewhat forced and lacks authenticity in conveying the emotional turmoil they would be experiencing.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the psychological impact of the tragedy on the characters, especially Rose's decision to cut ties with Cal.
  • The scene could benefit from more nuanced interactions and a deeper exploration of the characters' internal struggles and conflicts.
  • The resolution between Cal and Rose feels rushed and could be more impactful with a more gradual buildup of tension and emotion.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to the dialogue between Cal and Rose to reflect the complexity of their relationship post-Titanic sinking.
  • Explore the emotional aftermath of the tragedy in more depth, focusing on the internal struggles and conflicts faced by the characters.
  • Allow for a more gradual and nuanced resolution between Cal and Rose, building up the tension and emotion to create a more impactful scene.
  • Consider incorporating subtle gestures and expressions to convey the characters' emotions and inner turmoil effectively.
  • Enhance the scene by adding moments of introspection and vulnerability to showcase the characters' growth and development.



Scene 64 -  Release the Heart
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
305 EXT. OCEAN FLOOR / TITANIC WRECK 305

The Mir submersibles make their last pass over the ship. We
hear Yuri the pilot on the UQC:

YURI
Mir One returning to surface.

The sub rises off the deck of the wreck, taking its light
with it, leaving the Titanic once again it its fine and
private darkness.

CUT TO:

306 EXT. KELDYSH DECK 306 *

A desultory wrap party for the expedition is in progress. *
There is music and some of the (co-ed) Russian crew are *
dancing. Bodine is getting drunk in the aggressive style of *
Baker Joughin. *

Lovett stands at the rail, looking down into the black *
water. Lizzy comes to him, offering him a beer. She puts *
her hand on his arm. *

LIZZY *
I'm sorry. *

LOVETT *
We were pissin' in the wind the *
whole time. *

Lovett notices a figure move through the lights far down at *
the stern of the ship. *

LOVETT *
Oh shit. *

CUT TO: *

307 EXT. KELDYSH STERN DECK 307 *

Rose walks through the shadows of the deck machinery. Her *
nightgown blows in the wind. Her feet are bare. Her hands *
are clutched at her chest, almost as if she is praying. *



(CONTINUED)
179.
307 CONTINUED: 307


ON LOVETT AND LIZZY running down the stairs from the top *
deck, hauling ass. *

ROSE reaches the sern rail. Her gnarled fingers wrap over *
the rail. Her ancient foot steps up on the gunwale. She *
pushes herself up, leaning forward. Over her shoulder, we *
see the black water glinting far below. *

LOVETT AND LIZZY run up behind her. *

LIZZY *
Grandma, wait!! Don't-- *

ROSE TURNS her head, looking at them. She turns further, *
and we see she has something in her hand, something she was *
about to drop overboard. *

It is the "Heart of the Ocean". *

Lovett sees his holy grail in her hand and his eyes go wide. *
Rose keeps it over the railing where she can drop it *
anytime. *

ROSE *
Don't come any closer. *

LOVETT *
You had it the entire time?! *

FLASH CUT TO: A SILENT IMAGE OF YOUNG ROSE walking away
from Pier 54. The photographers' flashes go off like a
battle behind her. She has her hands in her pockets. She
stops, feeling something, and pulls out the necklace. She
stares at it in amazement.

BACK ON KELDYSH, Rose smiles at Brock's incomprehension. *

ROSE *
The hardest part about being so *
poor, was being so rich. But every *
time I though of selling it, I *
though of Cal. And somehow I always got *
by without his help. *

She holds it out over the water. Bodine and a couple of the *
other guys come up behind Lovett, reacting to what is in *
Rose's hand. *

BODINE *
Holy shit. *

LOVETT *
Don't drop it Rose. *

(CONTINUED)
180.
307 CONTINUED: (2) 307


BODINE *
(a fierce whisper) *
Rush her. *

LOVETT *
(to Bodine) *
It's hers, you schmuck. *
(to her) *
Look, Rose, I... I don't know what to *
say to a woman who tries to jump off *
the Titanic when it's not sinking, *
and jumps back onto it when it is... *
we're not dealing with logic here, *
I know that... but please... think *
about this a second. *

ROSE *
I have. I came all the way here so *
this could go back where it belongs. *

The massive diamond glitters. Brock edges closer and holds *
out his hand... *

LOVETT *
Just let me hold it in my hand, *
Rose. Please. Just once. *

He comes closer to her. It is reminiscent of Jack slowly *
moving up to her at the stern of Titanic. *

Surprisingly, she calmly places the massice stone in the *
palm of his hand, while still holding onto the necklace. *
Lovett gazes at the object of his quest. An infinity of *
cold scalpels glint in its blue depths. It is mesmerizing. *
It fits in his hand just like he imagined. *

LOVETT *
My God. *

His grip tightens on the diamond. *

He looks up, meeting her gaze. Her eyes are suddenly *
infinitely wise and deep. *

ROSE *
You look for treasures in the wrong *
place, Mr. Lovett. Only life is *
priceless, and making each day *
count. *

His fingers relax. He opens them slowly. Gently she slips *
the diamond out of his hand. He feels it sliding away. *


(CONTINUED)
181.
307 CONTINUED: (3) 307


Then, with an impish little grin, Rose tosses the necklace *
over the rail. Lovett gives a strangled cry and rushes to *
the rail in time to see it hit the water and disappear *
forever. *

BODINE *
Aww!! That really sucks, lady! *

Brock Lovett goes through ten changes before he settles on a *
reaction... HE LAUGHS. He laughs until the tears come to *
his eyes. Then he turns to Lizzy. *

LOVETT *
Would you like to dance? *

Lizzy grins at him and nods. Rose smiles. She looks up at *

the stars.

308 IN THE BLACK HEART OF THE OCEAN, the diamond sinks,
twinkling end over end, into the infinate depths.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Adventure"]

Summary Returning to the surface after their final dive, the crew gather on the Keldysh's deck for a wrap party. Rose decides to return the Heart of the Ocean to the ocean, and Lovett reluctantly lets her. She tosses the necklace over the rail, symbolizing her letting go of the past.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Symbolism
  • Resolution of internal conflict
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Limited external conflict
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the aftermath of the Titanic sinking to the Keldysh deck, which may be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Lovett and Rose feels a bit forced and lacks subtlety in conveying the emotions and motivations of the characters.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc for Rose, as her decision to return the 'Heart of the Ocean' necklace is not fully explored or justified.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved by providing more context and depth to Lovett's reaction to Rose's actions.
  • The symbolism of the diamond sinking into the ocean is heavy-handed and could be more subtly conveyed.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the previous scene and this one to maintain continuity and engagement.
  • Focus on developing more nuanced and authentic dialogue that reflects the complex emotions and relationships between the characters.
  • Provide more insight into Rose's internal conflict and decision-making process regarding the necklace to make her actions more impactful.
  • Work on building up the tension and emotional stakes in Lovett's reaction to Rose's actions to create a more compelling and resonant moment.
  • Explore alternative ways to symbolize the return of the necklace to the ocean that feel less overt and more organic to the narrative.



Scene 65 -  Memories of the Titanic
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
309 INT. ROSE'S CABIN / KELDYSH 309

A GRACEFUL PAN across Rose's shelf of carefully arranged
pictures:

Rose as a young actress in California, radiant... a
theatrically lit studio publicity shot... Rose and her
husband, with their two children... Rose with her son at his
college graduation... Rose with her children and
grandchildren at her 70th birthday. A collage of images of
a life lived well.

THE PAN STOPS on an image filling frame. Rose, circa 1920.
She is at the beach, sitting on a horse at the surfline.
The Santa Monica pier, with its rollercoaster is behind her.
She is grinning, full of life.

We PAN OFF the last picture to Rose herself, warm in her
bunk. A profile shot. She is very still. She could be
sleeping, or maybe something else.

CUT TO:

BLACKNESS

310 THE WRECK OF TITANIC looms like a ghost out of the
dark. It is lit by a kind of moonlight, a light of the
mind.


(CONTINUED)
182.
CONTINUED:

We pass over the endless forecastle deck to the
superstructure, moving faster than subs can move... almost
like we are flying.

WE GO INSIDE, and the echoing sound of distant waltz music
is heard. The rust fades away from the walls of the dark
corridor and it is transformed... WE EMERGE onto the grand
staircase, lit by glowing chandelier. The music is vibrant
now, and the room is populated by men in tie and tails,
women in gowns. It is exquisitely beautiful.

IN POV we sweep down the staircase. The crowd of beautiful
gentlmen and ladies turn as we descend toward them. At the
bottom a man stands with his back to us... he turns and it
is Jack. Smiling he holds his hand out toward us.

IN A SIDE ANGLE Rose goes into his arms, a girl of 17. The
passengers, officers and crew of the RMS Titanic smile and
applaud in the utter silence of the abyss.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","Romance"]

Summary In her cabin, Rose reminisces about her life through photographs, focusing on a youthful image of herself on a horse at the surfline. As the scene fades to black, a ghostly apparition of the RMS Titanic appears, with Rose and Jack dancing in the grand ballroom.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intense action
  • Character development
  • Powerful themes
Weaknesses
  • Potential for overwhelming sadness
  • Complexity of multiple character arcs
Critique
  • The transition from the graceful pan across Rose's life pictures to the wreck of the Titanic is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection.
  • The description of the Titanic wreck as looming like a ghost out of the dark is cliche and lacks originality.
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to evoke a strong sense of connection between Rose's past and the present wreck of the Titanic.
  • The transition from the dark corridor to the grand staircase is disjointed and could be improved for better flow.
  • The visual imagery of the grand staircase and the vibrant crowd lacks detail and specificity, making it feel generic and lacking in impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a more seamless transition between Rose's life pictures and the Titanic wreck to create a stronger emotional connection.
  • Try to find a more unique and evocative description for the Titanic wreck instead of relying on cliches.
  • Enhance the emotional resonance of the scene by delving deeper into Rose's memories and feelings as she reflects on her past.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the dark corridor and the grand staircase to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Add more specific and vivid details to the description of the grand staircase and the crowd to make the scene more visually engaging.