Read Barbie with its analysis


See Full Analysis here



Scene 1 -  Awakening to Empowerment
EXT. A DESERT-LIKE-LANDSCAPE. DAY

Like Kubrick’s 2001, but with little girls, not apes. And
with baby dolls, not sticks and stuff.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
Since the beginning of time, since
the first little girl ever existed,
there have been dolls.

These little girls rock their baby dolls, they burp them,
they cuddle them: They pretend to be Moms.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
But the dolls were always and
forever baby dolls. The girls who
played with them could only ever
play at being MOTHERS. Which can be
fun, at least for a while anyway...
Ask your mother.
(pause)
This continued, until...

One of the girls looks UP.

Something has appeared in their midst. Something NEW.
It’s a GIANT BARBIE DOLL - BARBIE MARGOT, the 1950s Barbie,
with her black and white swimsuit and lipstick.

The girls react with awe.

They’re stirred up and excited by this Barbie Margot not
unlike the apes in that Kubrick masterpiece. They try to
touch her, and one little girl starts smashing her baby doll
against the ground until it breaks into pieces. She lets out
a child’s howl!

One by one the little girls follow suit: whooping, screaming,
throwing their baby dolls away in fits of joyful anger.

A final little girl throws her baby doll up in the air, and
it is spinning, spinning - with a match cut to:



BARBIE



INT. WHITE SPACE

Barbie stands in a empty space of the soon-to-be formed
Barbie Land - it’s a void, a limbo - but clearly in a film
studio. The World of Barbie is a Technicolor Soundstage.
2.


HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
Yes Barbie changed everything! Then
she changed it all again!

We go through all the changes to Barbie Margot, as she moves
through the decades.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
All of these women are Barbie, and
Barbie is all of these women. She
might have started out as just a
lady in a bathing suit, but she
became so much more.

We see a row of Barbies. As we move back we see that “Barbie”
is a EVERY different kind of woman -- every profession, every
ethnicity, every body shape, every different ability and
every gift. As we pan by each one, we hear:

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
She has her own money, her own
house, her own car, her own career.
Because Barbie can be anything,
women can be anything.


We see a Map with Barbie Land on it and a long red arrow is
drawn across a split screen to the Real World.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
(triumphantly)
And this has been reflected back
onto the little girls of today in
the Real World.

Girls playing with the different dolls. The girls all mirror
what their Barbie is. So the doctor is the doctor, the
ballerina is the ballerina, etc.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
Girls can grow into women who can
achieve everything and anything
they set their mind to.

Finally, we see a vast sea of Barbies. All in different
outfits, different hairstyles, adding new friends, speaking
different languages. And now Barbie’s world gets continually
multi-faceted and wide-ranging and diverse and interesting.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
(triumphantly)
Thanks to Barbie all problems of
feminism and equal rights have been
solved!
(MORE)
3.
HELEN MIRREN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
(with a knowing smirk)
... at least that’s what the
Barbies think.

We float above the Barbies into the clouds, then we descend
to earth, to see, just below the clouds and above land, the
heart-shaped BARBIE LAND.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
After all they’re living in Barbie
Land. Who am I to burst their
bubble? And here is one of those
Barbies now, living her best day
every day.
Genres: ["Drama","Fantasy","Comedy"]

Summary In a desert landscape, little girls play with baby dolls, embodying traditional roles of motherhood. Helen Mirren's voiceover reflects on the history of dolls and their limited representation for girls. The scene shifts dramatically when a giant Barbie Margot from the 1950s appears, inspiring the girls to abandon their baby dolls in a joyful act of rebellion. This moment symbolizes a transition as they embrace Barbie, representing empowerment and evolving aspirations. The scene showcases Barbie's evolution through the decades, culminating in a celebration of diverse Barbies and their multifaceted identities, before revealing the vibrant world of Barbie Land.
Strengths
  • Creative concept of Barbie Land
  • Empowering message of diversity and empowerment
  • Innovative use of visuals and voiceover
Weaknesses
  • Lack of traditional conflict
  • Limited character development in this scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces the concept of Barbie Land and its significance in a creative and engaging manner. It sets the tone for the rest of the screenplay and establishes a strong thematic foundation.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie Land as a metaphor for empowerment and diversity is innovative and thought-provoking. It explores complex themes of gender roles and societal expectations in a creative and engaging way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on introducing the concept of Barbie Land and its impact on young girls and women. It sets up the central themes and conflicts that will be explored throughout the screenplay.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on gender roles and cultural representation through the use of Barbie as a symbol of empowerment and diversity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

While the scene primarily focuses on the concept of Barbie Land, the characters are used effectively to convey the message of empowerment and diversity. Each character represents a different facet of Barbie's influence on society.

Character Changes: 6

While the characters do not undergo significant changes in this scene, their perspectives on gender roles and empowerment are challenged and expanded.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to challenge traditional gender roles and societal expectations. The introduction of Barbie Margot symbolizes a shift in perception and empowerment for the little girls.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to explore the possibilities and potential of women's roles in society. The scene reflects the immediate challenge of breaking free from traditional stereotypes and embracing diversity and empowerment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks traditional conflict, but instead focuses on the internal and societal conflicts surrounding gender roles and empowerment.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist faces challenges related to societal norms and cultural expectations. The introduction of Barbie Margot sparks a debate on representation and empowerment, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low in terms of traditional conflict, but high in terms of societal impact and the representation of empowerment and diversity.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively sets up the central themes and conflicts of the screenplay, moving the story forward by introducing the concept of Barbie Land and its impact on society.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected twists and turns, challenging traditional gender roles and societal norms. The introduction of Barbie Margot adds a surreal and fantastical element to the narrative, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of representation and empowerment. The introduction of Barbie Margot challenges the traditional notion of beauty and femininity, sparking a debate on the impact of cultural icons on societal norms.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of hope and empowerment, but could further enhance emotional impact through deeper character development and more poignant moments.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene serves to enhance the themes of empowerment and diversity, but could be more impactful in certain moments to further engage the audience.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of fantasy, social commentary, and visual storytelling. The introduction of Barbie Margot adds a surreal and thought-provoking element to the narrative, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a dynamic and engaging narrative. The transition between different settings and the use of visual storytelling techniques keep the audience captivated and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with the genre's expectations, effectively conveying the visual and narrative elements of the story. The transition between different settings adds depth and dimension to the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that combines elements of fantasy and reality, creating a dynamic and engaging narrative. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's goals and challenges.


Critique
  • The opening visual reference to Kubrick's 2001 is intriguing but may confuse viewers unfamiliar with the film. Consider clarifying the connection or using a more universally recognizable image to set the tone.
  • The voiceover by Helen Mirren is effective in establishing the thematic foundation of the scene, but it could benefit from a more dynamic delivery. The tone feels somewhat flat, which may not fully engage the audience's emotions.
  • The transition from the little girls playing with baby dolls to the appearance of the giant Barbie doll is visually striking, but the emotional stakes could be heightened. The girls' reactions could be more varied to reflect a broader range of emotions, such as fear, excitement, or confusion.
  • The moment when the girls start smashing their baby dolls is powerful, but it could be more impactful if the screenplay explored the internal conflict of the girls. Are they feeling liberated, angry, or both? Adding a moment of hesitation or contemplation could deepen the emotional resonance.
  • The voiceover's assertion that Barbie has solved all problems of feminism and equal rights is a bold statement that could be perceived as overly simplistic. This could be an opportunity to introduce a more nuanced perspective on Barbie's impact, perhaps by acknowledging ongoing struggles for equality.
  • The final transition to Barbie Land is visually appealing, but the pacing feels rushed. Consider allowing more time for the audience to absorb the significance of the transition and the diversity of Barbies showcased.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the Kubrick reference to something more accessible or providing context for viewers who may not be familiar with the film.
  • Enhance the emotional delivery of the voiceover by incorporating varied tones or inflections to match the content being discussed.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation or conflict among the girls before they smash their dolls to add depth to their emotional journey.
  • Reframe the voiceover's claim about feminism and equal rights to acknowledge the complexities of these issues, perhaps by including a line that hints at ongoing challenges.
  • Allow for a slower transition into Barbie Land, giving the audience time to appreciate the diversity and significance of the Barbies before moving on to the next scene.



Scene 2 -  A Perfect Day in Barbie's Dreamhouse
INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. BEDROOM. DAY

Barbie Margot wakes up in her pink Dreamhouse. Everything is
perfect. Of course. This whole sequence is like a movie-
musical of the best life ever.

There are no walls just like the toy so Barbie Margot can
wave across to another Barbie waking up in her Dreamhouse
next door.

In every OTHER Dreamhouse, all the Barbies are having their
perfect morning. It’s a Barbie Ballet.

INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. BATHROOM. DAY

Barbie Margot steps out of her heels, revealing her
permanently arched feet.

Barbie Margot stands under the shower head, but nothing comes
out, she turns her head this way and that, as if there is
water but there is nothing. Her hair looks amazing anyway.

She opens an AMAZING closet and then magically steps out with
a new, perfect outfit!

INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. SLIDE. DAY

Barbie takes her slide down to the pool. Because she can!

INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. KITCHEN. DAY

She eats a nothing breakfast, drinks a big glass of nothing.

EXT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. DAY

Barbie Margot stands at the top floor of her house, waves to
her friends and then improbably sails through the air and
lands in the driver’s seat of her car.
4.


HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
When you’re playing with Barbies
nobody bothers to walk them down
the stairs and out the door etc...
you just pick them up and put them
where you want them to go -- You
use your imagination!

Behind her, Barbie Alexandra ALSO sails through the air and
lands in HER dream car.

Barbie Margot drives and waves at Skipper in the doorway of
her treehouse.

Midge appears in Skipper’s yard, aggressively waving at
Barbie Margot.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
(butting in)
Midge was Barbie’s pregnant friend.
Oh let’s not show Midge actually...
she was discontinued by Mattel
because a pregnant doll is just too
weird. Anyway... Barbie has another
BIG day ahead of her.
Genres: ["Comedy","Musical"]

Summary Barbie Margot wakes up in her idyllic Dreamhouse, where she enjoys a whimsical morning routine with other Barbies. Despite a non-functional shower, her hair remains flawless as she magically changes outfits and slides into the pool. She shares a breakfast of nothing, waves to friends, and effortlessly drives her car, all while a humorous voiceover by Helen Mirren reflects on the imaginative play of Barbies, including a nod to the discontinued character Midge. The scene captures the lighthearted and playful essence of Barbie's perfect world.
Strengths
  • Whimsical tone
  • Satirical humor
  • Visual storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the satirical and whimsical tone of Barbie's world, providing a humorous and entertaining look at her perfect morning.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying Barbie's idealized life in a satirical and whimsical manner is well-executed, offering a fresh and entertaining perspective on the character.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene focuses more on showcasing Barbie's morning routine than advancing the plot, it effectively sets the tone for the rest of the story.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate, with unique situations like the shower that doesn't need water and the magical closet providing fresh approaches to familiar themes of perfection and fantasy. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Barbie Margot is portrayed as the epitome of perfection, setting the stage for the satirical exploration of her character and world.

Character Changes: 4

While Barbie Margot remains consistent in her perfection, the scene sets the stage for potential character development and exploration of societal expectations.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to maintain the illusion of perfection and happiness in her Dreamhouse, despite any challenges or imperfections that may arise. This reflects her deeper need for control, validation, and a desire to uphold the image of a flawless life.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to navigate her perfect day in the Dreamhouse, interacting with her friends and enjoying various activities like sliding down to the pool and driving her dream car. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her idealized world and the challenges she faces in maintaining the facade of perfection.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on humor and satire in portraying Barbie's perfect morning.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is moderate, with subtle challenges and conflicts that arise in Barbie's perfect world, like the malfunctioning shower and the discontinued character of Midge. These obstacles add depth and complexity to the narrative, keeping the audience intrigued.

High Stakes: 2

The scene features low stakes, focusing more on humor and satire in depicting Barbie Margot's perfect morning.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the tone and setting for the narrative, laying the foundation for future developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because it blends elements of fantasy and reality, challenging the audience's expectations of a perfect world and introducing quirky and unexpected moments like the shower that doesn't work and the magical closet.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the juxtaposition of the perfect, idealized world of Barbie's Dreamhouse with the reality of imperfections and challenges that may arise. This challenges Barbie's beliefs in perfection and control, forcing her to confront the limitations of her fantasy world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a light-hearted and humorous emotional response from the audience, engaging them in Barbie Margot's absurdly perfect world.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene serves to enhance the whimsical and satirical tone, adding humor and depth to Barbie Margot's character.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it transports the audience into a whimsical and magical world, filled with colorful characters, fantastical elements, and playful interactions. The sense of wonder and nostalgia evoked by the scene captivates the viewer's imagination.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a lively and engaging rhythm, transitioning smoothly between different locations and activities, and building suspense and anticipation for Barbie's next adventures in her Dreamhouse.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and scene directions enhance the immersive experience of Barbie's Dreamhouse.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions, engaging action sequences, and a cohesive narrative arc. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the fantastical world of Barbie's Dreamhouse.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the whimsical and idealized world of Barbie Land, capturing the essence of play and imagination. However, the lack of conflict or tension in this scene may lead to a feeling of stagnation. While the musical sequence is visually appealing, it could benefit from a narrative hook that hints at the challenges Barbie Margot will face later in the story.
  • The use of voiceover by Helen Mirren adds a layer of commentary that is both humorous and insightful, but it occasionally interrupts the visual flow of the scene. The voiceover could be more integrated with the action, perhaps by having Barbie Margot react to the commentary or by using it to foreshadow upcoming events.
  • The description of Barbie's actions, such as stepping out of her heels and magically changing outfits, is playful and aligns with the fantastical nature of Barbie Land. However, these moments could be enhanced by showing Barbie's emotional state or thoughts during these actions, which would help to develop her character further.
  • The scene transitions smoothly between different locations within the Dreamhouse, but the pacing feels rushed. Each moment could be given more time to breathe, allowing the audience to fully appreciate the absurdity and charm of Barbie's world. This could also create a stronger contrast with the challenges she will face later.
  • The introduction of Midge and the commentary about her being discontinued is a clever nod to the history of Barbie dolls, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the scene. This moment could be better integrated into the narrative, perhaps by showing Barbie Margot's reaction to Midge's absence or by exploring the implications of such a character's discontinuation.
Suggestions
  • Consider introducing a subtle hint of conflict or foreshadowing in this scene to create anticipation for Barbie Margot's journey. This could be a fleeting moment of doubt or a glimpse of something amiss in Barbie Land.
  • Integrate the voiceover more seamlessly with the action. For example, have Barbie Margot react to the commentary or use it to highlight her feelings about her perfect life, creating a deeper connection with the audience.
  • Add emotional depth to Barbie Margot's actions by including her thoughts or feelings during her morning routine. This could help the audience relate to her character and set the stage for her development throughout the story.
  • Allow for slower pacing in certain moments to enhance the whimsical nature of the scene. This could involve lingering on Barbie's expressions or the absurdity of her actions, making the audience fully absorb the charm of Barbie Land.
  • Explore the implications of Midge's discontinuation more thoroughly. This could involve Barbie Margot expressing confusion or sadness about Midge's absence, which would add layers to her character and the world she inhabits.



Scene 3 -  A Day of Celebration in Barbie Land
EXT. BARBIE LAND. DAY

Barbie Margot waves happily, sometimes with both hands, to
other Barbies as her car silently drives itself through a
bustling town. It’s like Richard Scarry’s Busy Town for
Barbie. It’s a wonder of color and shape. The houses are all
see-through, like the toys, it’s a Noah’s Ark of doll-tastic
magic.

It’s also completely run by women. They hold every kind of
job. Barbie Margot waves to a Barbie mail carrier, and an all
Barbie construction crew. There is the occasional Ken, but
mostly it’s Barbie.

Barbie Margot drives past the Barbie White House which is, of
course, pink.

INT. BARBIE OVAL OFFICE. LIGHT PINK HOUSE. DAY

Barbie Issa Rae, president (maybe in a ball gown?!) signs a
bill into law, surrounded by Barbie Congresswomen. Barbie
Margot stands with the press, proud.

BARBIE ISSA
Everybody - turn to the Barbie next
to you, tell her how much you love
her. Compliment her!
(MORE)
5.
BARBIE ISSA (CONT’D)
Reporter Barbie, you can ask me any
question you want.

BARBIE RITU
How come you’re so amazing?

BARBIE ISSA
(giggling)
No comment! No seriously, no
comment.

Barbie Issa looks to the Barbies around her:

BARBIE ISSA
I love you guys!

Hugs, sweetness, support. It is REALLY great here.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In this joyful scene, Barbie Margot drives through the vibrant Barbie Land, greeting fellow Barbies in various professions. The focus shifts to the Barbie Oval Office, where President Barbie Issa Rae signs a bill into law, surrounded by supportive Barbie Congresswomen. She encourages the press to share compliments, fostering a positive atmosphere. Barbie Ritu adds to the light-heartedness with a playful question about Issa's amazingness. The scene culminates in expressions of love and community, highlighted by hugs and a sense of camaraderie among the Barbies.
Strengths
  • Empowering portrayal of women
  • Whimsical and imaginative setting
  • Positive and supportive relationships between characters
Weaknesses
  • Lack of traditional plot progression
  • Low level of conflict or tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively creates a whimsical and empowering atmosphere through its imaginative portrayal of Barbie Land. It combines humor, fantasy, and positive sentiments to engage the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a utopian Barbie world where women hold all positions and support each other is innovative and engaging. It challenges traditional gender roles and promotes empowerment and inclusivity.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene doesn't have a traditional plot progression, it serves to establish the unique setting of Barbie Land and the supportive relationships between the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of a Barbie-run world, subverting traditional gender roles and exploring themes of unity and support.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Barbie Issa Rae, are portrayed as strong, supportive, and loving individuals who embody empowerment and inclusivity. Their interactions showcase positive relationships and camaraderie.

Character Changes: 5

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the portrayal of the Barbies as supportive, empowered individuals contributes to a positive character arc that emphasizes self-love and inclusivity.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to feel a sense of belonging and pride in her community. She wants to be accepted and appreciated by her fellow Barbies.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to show support for Barbie Issa Rae as she signs a bill into law and to participate in the positive atmosphere of the Barbie Oval Office.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 2

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on harmony, support, and positivity among the characters in Barbie Land.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is relatively low, as the conflict is more internal and philosophical rather than external and action-driven.

High Stakes: 3

The scene has low stakes as it prioritizes positivity, empowerment, and inclusivity among the characters in Barbie Land, rather than high-drama or conflict-driven narratives.

Story Forward: 6

The scene primarily focuses on establishing the unique setting of Barbie Land and the supportive relationships between the characters, contributing to the overall world-building and thematic development.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twist of a Barbie-run society and the playful interactions between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the contrast between the idealized, harmonious world of Barbie Land and the real-world complexities and challenges that Barbie Issa Rae faces as president. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about perfection and unity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong sense of joy, empowerment, and positivity, creating an emotional connection with the audience through its celebration of women and their capabilities.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene is light-hearted, supportive, and humorous, reflecting the positive and whimsical tone of the overall setting. It emphasizes love, compliments, and camaraderie among the Barbies.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its imaginative world-building, humorous dialogue, and relatable themes of friendship and support.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and description that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a well-defined setting, characters, and conflict, adhering to the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the whimsical and empowering atmosphere of Barbie Land, showcasing a vibrant world run by women. This aligns well with the overarching theme of female empowerment, which is a strong point in the screenplay.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and engaging, painting a clear picture of Barbie Land as a colorful and fantastical place. However, the use of phrases like 'Noah’s Ark of doll-tastic magic' may come off as overly whimsical and could benefit from a more grounded metaphor that still captures the essence of the setting.
  • The dialogue between Barbie Issa and the other Barbies is light-hearted and reinforces the supportive community among the characters. However, the humor could be sharpened; the 'no comment' line feels a bit flat and could be replaced with something more clever or unexpected to enhance the comedic effect.
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the exterior of Barbie Land to the interior of the Barbie Oval Office, maintaining a consistent tone. However, the introduction of Barbie Issa Rae as president could be more impactful if her character were given a stronger, more distinctive voice or catchphrase that reflects her personality and leadership style.
  • While the scene emphasizes positivity and support, it may benefit from a hint of conflict or tension to create a more dynamic narrative. Even in a utopian setting, introducing a small challenge or disagreement could add depth and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the metaphor 'Noah’s Ark of doll-tastic magic' to something that maintains the whimsical tone but feels more relatable or grounded, such as 'a kaleidoscope of doll-tastic wonder.'
  • Enhance Barbie Issa's character by giving her a memorable catchphrase or a unique way of speaking that sets her apart from the other Barbies, making her more memorable and engaging.
  • Revise the 'no comment' line to something more humorous or unexpected, perhaps a playful jab at the absurdity of politics in Barbie Land, to elevate the comedic tone.
  • Introduce a minor conflict or challenge within the scene, such as a playful disagreement among the Barbies about a new law or a humorous mishap during the press conference, to create tension and keep the audience invested.
  • Consider adding a visual gag or a humorous moment that highlights the absurdity of the situation, such as a Barbie accidentally spilling something during the press conference, to enhance the comedic elements of the scene.



Scene 4 -  Empowerment and Advocacy at the Nobel Ceremony
INT. NOBEL PRIZE THEATRE. DAY.

A big ceremony, very official, proper. A Barbie Dignitary (in
another flouncy ballgown) presides:

BARBIE DIGNITARY
The Nobel Prize in Journalism goes
to “BARBIE!”

It’s Reporter Barbie! Woohoo! Barbie Margot leaps to her
feet, deeply proud.

BARBIE RITU
I worked very hard, so... I deserve
it!

BARBIE DIGNITARY
The Nobel Prize in Literature goes
to “BARBIE!”

It’s Barbie Alexandra Shipp! Barbie Margot claps and hoots
from the audience. She’s so proud of her friends.

BARBIE ANNOUNCER
(bestowing the prize)
You’re the voice of a generation.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
(no false modesty!)
I know.

INT. SUPREME COURT. DAY

Barbie Sharon argues a case passionately in front of the
Supreme Court, all Barbies.
6.


BARBIE SHARON
Only Barbies are Barbies, and we
would argue that corporations have
no “free speech” rights to begin
with, so any claim on their part to
be exercising a right is just their
attempt to turn our democracy into
a plutocracy!

The Gallery erupts into rapturous applause. Some Kens are
there for support.

BARBIE SHARON
This makes me emotional! And I’m
expressing it. I have no difficulty
holding both logic and feeling at
the same time. It does not diminish
my powers, it expands them.

The Chief Justice Barbie hits her gavel, but she can’t help
but smile. Barbie Margot is there, always cheering on, always
the supporter.
Genres: ["Comedy","Satire","Fantasy"]

Summary During a prestigious ceremony at the Nobel Prize Theatre, Reporter Barbie Margot celebrates as her friends, Barbie Ritu and Barbie Alexandra Shipp, win Nobel Prizes in Journalism and Literature, respectively. The scene then shifts to the Supreme Court, where Barbie Sharon passionately argues against corporate free speech rights, advocating for emotional expression. Her compelling argument receives applause from the audience, including supportive Kens and Barbie Margot, highlighting themes of empowerment and solidarity among friends.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Empowering themes
  • Strong character performances
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, empowerment, and fantasy elements to create an engaging and entertaining narrative that celebrates female achievements and emotional expression.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a world where Barbies excel in journalism, literature, and law, while freely expressing emotions, is innovative and engaging. It effectively challenges stereotypes and celebrates female achievements.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on showcasing Barbie characters receiving Nobel Prizes and arguing a case in front of the Supreme Court, highlighting their achievements and abilities. It effectively advances the narrative of female empowerment.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and original concept of a world where Barbies are prominent figures in various fields, blending humor with social commentary. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic within the context of this satirical setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The Barbie characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and strong performances. They effectively convey humor, empowerment, and emotional depth, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not significant character development in this scene, the Barbie characters do showcase emotional depth and growth through their expressions and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to support and celebrate her friends' successes, reflecting her desire for connection, loyalty, and validation.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to be a supportive friend and ally to her fellow Barbies, reflecting the immediate circumstances of the award ceremonies and court case.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some conflict in Barbie Sharon's argument in front of the Supreme Court, the overall tone of the scene is more focused on empowerment and celebration, resulting in a lower conflict level.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Barbie Sharon facing off against the Chief Justice Barbie and presenting a compelling argument that challenges the status quo.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on celebrating achievements and empowerment rather than high-stakes conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the achievements and abilities of the Barbie characters, adding depth to the narrative of female empowerment and challenging stereotypes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and dialogue, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the debate over corporations' free speech rights and the impact on democracy. This challenges Barbie Sharon's beliefs about democracy and the role of corporations in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact due to its focus on empowering female roles, emotional expression, and celebrating achievements. It effectively conveys joy, pride, and inspiration.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and empowering, effectively conveying the personalities of the Barbie characters and advancing the narrative of female empowerment and emotional expression.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humorous tone, dynamic character interactions, and the juxtaposition of serious themes with absurd situations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension during the court case argument and providing moments of celebration and reflection during the award ceremonies.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between the award ceremonies and the court case, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the celebratory atmosphere of the Nobel Prize ceremony, showcasing the achievements of the Barbies in a whimsical yet meaningful way. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to differentiate the various Barbies, especially since they all share the same name. This would help the audience connect more deeply with each character's personality and motivations.
  • The transition from the Nobel Prize ceremony to the Supreme Court feels abrupt. While both settings are significant, a smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene. Consider adding a brief moment that connects the two events, perhaps a commentary from Barbie Margot reflecting on the importance of both journalism and law in empowering women.
  • Barbie Sharon's argument in the Supreme Court is powerful and relevant, but it could be strengthened by incorporating a more personal element. Adding a line that connects her argument to her own experiences or the experiences of other Barbies could make her speech more impactful and relatable.
  • The applause from the gallery is a nice touch, but it could be more visually represented. Describing the reactions of the audience, including the Kens, would add depth to the scene and emphasize the support for Barbie Sharon's argument. This could also highlight the unity among the Barbies and their allies.
  • The emotional tone of the scene is uplifting, but it could benefit from a moment of vulnerability or tension. For instance, Barbie Margot could have a brief internal conflict about her role as a supporter versus a leader, which would add complexity to her character and enhance the overall narrative arc.
Suggestions
  • Differentiate the Barbies through unique dialogue styles or catchphrases that reflect their personalities, making it easier for the audience to identify and connect with them.
  • Consider adding a transitional line or visual cue that links the Nobel Prize ceremony to the Supreme Court scene, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Incorporate a personal anecdote or emotional connection in Barbie Sharon's argument to make her speech resonate more with the audience and the viewers.
  • Enhance the audience's reactions during Barbie Sharon's speech by describing their expressions and body language, emphasizing the support and unity among the characters.
  • Introduce a moment of internal conflict for Barbie Margot, allowing her to reflect on her role in the community and her aspirations, which could add depth to her character development.



Scene 5 -  Surf's Up and Down in Barbie Land
EXT. BARBIE LAND. DAY.

Barbie Margot drives past the BAX airport and an airplane
passes overhead, we move up, and the female pilot waves down -

BARBIE PILOT
Hi Barbie!

- the airplane wipes and we keep moving up to find:

EXT. SPACE. DAY

Astronaut Barbie floats around in space. High fives with
another Astronaut Barbie. Wave down to Barbie Margot, too!

BARBIE ASTRONAUTS
(in unison)
Hi Barbie!

EXT./INT. BARBIE CAR.

Barbie Margot waves up at the astronauts.

BARBIE MARGOT
Yay space!

Finally she passes and salutes Barbie Mt. Rushmore.

Remember this!
7.


EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH. DAY

Barbie Margot drives up & hits the beach. This is semi-epic,
almost somber in it’s initial grandeur.

Ken Ryan Gosling holds a surf board and stands atop of a
dune. He’s waiting for his Barbie, Barbie Margot.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
Barbie has a great day every day.
But Ken only has a great day if
Barbie looks at him.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(courageous)
Hi Barbie!

Barbie Margot turns and smiles.

BARBIE MARGOT
Hi Ken!

All the Barbies we just saw are now at the beach - they are
all everything. Barbie Margot says Hi to Barbies and Ken -
or, rather, the Multiplicity of Kens!

KEN SIMU
(to Ken Ryan Gosling)
Hi Ken.

Ken Ryan Gosling groans, waving his hand in dismissal.

BARBIE HARI
Hi Ken!

KEN NCUTI
Hi Barbie!

BARBIE EMMA
Hi Ken!

KEN KINGSLEY
Hi Barbie!

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
Hi Ken!

BARBIE SHARON
Hi Ken!

KEN SCOTT
Hi Barbie!
8.


KEN KINGSLEY
Hi Ken! I got us both ice creams!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Cool.

BARBIE ANA
Hi Ken!

Everyone says “Hi Barbie” and “Hi Ken” over and over to each
other. Way out in the sea, a few Mermaid Barbies emerge:

BARBIE MERMAID
Hi Barbies!

ALL BARBIES AND KENS
Hi Barbie!
(she disappears beneath
the waves)
Bye Barbie!

ALLAN
Hi Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
Hi Allan!

And there’s Allan in his striped shirt. Everything stops.

HELLEN MIRREN (V.O.)
There are no multiples of Allan.
He’s just Allan.

ALLAN
I’m still confused about that?

On shore, Ken Ryan Gosling comes sprinting down the sand.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
HI BARBIE!

BARBIE MARGOT
Hi Ken!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Hey Barbie! Check me out!

Ken Ryan Gosling, who seems to only exist when Barbie is
paying attention to him, runs into the surf, like INTO it,
and flies backward, head over heels, into the air with his
surfboard and...lands HARD.
9.


ALLAN
(Hecuba at Troy)
KEN! NO!

Barbie Margot and her other Barbie friends jump up and
swiftly coordinate a rescue mission, while the other Kens
stand around helplessly. Ken Kingsley protects his ice
creams.

BARBIE MARGOT
(concerned)
Ken?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Oh Hi Barbie... How much of that
did you see?

BARBIE MARGOT
We saw the whole thing!

BARBIE ANA
Let’s get you up on your feet.

Barbie Margot and Barbie Ana lift Ken up.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Wow you are so strong!

Meanwhile, Ken Simu laughs derisively:

KEN SIMU
Looks like this beach was a little
too much beach for you, Ken.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
If I wasn’t severely injured I’d
beach you off right now, Ken.

KEN SIMU
Oh, I’ll beach-off with you any
day, Ken!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
You’re on, Ken! Let’s beach-off!

KEN KINGSLEY
(on Ken Ryan’s side)
Anyone who wants to beach him off
has to beach me off first.

KEN SIMU
I will beach both of you off at the
same time!
10.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
(getting upset)
You don’t even know how to beach
your SELF off how are you going to
beach all of us off??

KEN SIMU
Why are you getting emotional?!

BARBIE MARGOT
Come on, Kens, nobody is going to
beach anyone off!

Ken Simu backs off as Ken Ryan collapses into Barbie Margot.

An ambulance pulls up, and FOLDS OUT INTO A HOSPITAL ROOM.

Ken Ryan is put on a stretcher and hurried across the beach.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Barbie, stay with me!
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary In a vibrant day at Barbie Land, Barbie Margot drives through, warmly greeting various Barbies and Kens. At the beach, Ken Ryan Gosling attempts a surf stunt to impress Barbie, but crashes spectacularly. His friends, including Barbie Ana and Ken Simu, rally to help him, while playful banter ensues among the other Kens. The scene culminates with Ken Ryan being taken away on a stretcher, calling for Barbie to stay by his side, highlighting the light-hearted camaraderie and playful rivalry among the characters.
Strengths
  • Strong character interactions
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Fantastical setting
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-executed with a strong focus on humor and character interactions. The playful tone and fantastical elements make it engaging and entertaining for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the exaggerated interactions between Barbie and Ken in a fantastical beach setting, is creative and entertaining.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the unexpected beach rescue mission, which adds a layer of humor and excitement to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of a Barbie-themed world and the interactions between Barbie and Ken characters. The dialogue and actions feel authentic to the whimsical setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Barbie and Ken, are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward. The comedic dynamics between the characters add depth and entertainment value.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the interactions between the characters showcase different facets of their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her positive attitude and enjoy her day in Barbie Land. This reflects her desire for happiness and fun in her surroundings.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to have a great day in Barbie Land and interact with the various Barbie and Ken characters. This reflects her immediate circumstances of being in a playful and imaginative environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on comedic misunderstandings and interactions rather than intense conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Ken Ryan Gosling facing physical challenges and emotional conflicts that add tension to the narrative.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on comedic and light-hearted interactions rather than high-stakes drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new dynamic between Barbie and Ken and setting up potential future conflicts or resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions between the Barbie and Ken characters, as well as the surreal elements of Barbie Land.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of individuality versus conformity. Allan stands out as the only non-Barbie character, highlighting the theme of being unique in a world of sameness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, mainly driven by the supportive and humorous interactions between the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty and humorous, capturing the playful tone of the interaction between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fantastical setting, humorous dialogue, and exaggerated character interactions that keep the audience entertained.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and character interactions that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct settings and character interactions, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and playful nature of Barbie Land, showcasing the vibrant interactions between the characters. However, the dialogue can feel repetitive with the constant 'Hi Barbie!' and 'Hi Ken!' exchanges, which may detract from the scene's pacing and engagement. While it's a fun nod to the multiplicity of Barbies and Kens, it risks becoming monotonous and could benefit from more varied interactions.
  • The introduction of Ken Ryan Gosling's character is humorous and sets up an interesting dynamic with Barbie Margot. However, the setup for his surf stunt feels somewhat predictable. The humor could be elevated by incorporating more unexpected elements or consequences of his actions, making the scene feel fresher.
  • The use of Helen Mirren's voiceover adds a layer of commentary that aligns well with the themes of the script, but it could be more integrated with the visuals. The transition from Barbie Margot's drive to the beach and the subsequent interactions could benefit from a more cohesive narrative thread, ensuring that the voiceover feels less like an aside and more like a part of the scene's flow.
  • The rescue mission initiated by Barbie Margot and her friends is a strong moment that highlights their camaraderie and quick thinking. However, the dialogue during this moment could be more dynamic. Instead of simply expressing concern, the Barbies could engage in playful banter or show differing personalities in how they react to Ken's mishap, adding depth to their characters.
  • The comedic exchanges among the Kens are amusing but can feel a bit forced at times. While the banter is intended to be lighthearted, it could benefit from more natural dialogue that reflects their personalities. This would create a more authentic comedic tone and enhance the overall enjoyment of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider reducing the repetition of greetings among the characters. Instead, use varied dialogue that showcases their personalities and relationships. This can help maintain the scene's energy and keep the audience engaged.
  • Add unexpected elements to Ken Ryan Gosling's surf stunt, such as a humorous twist that leads to an even more chaotic situation. This could enhance the comedic impact and keep the audience on their toes.
  • Integrate Helen Mirren's voiceover more seamlessly into the scene by aligning it with specific visual moments or character actions. This will help create a stronger narrative connection and enhance the overall storytelling.
  • Enhance the rescue mission with more dynamic dialogue and character interactions. Consider giving each Barbie a unique way of reacting to Ken's fall, showcasing their personalities and adding humor to the moment.
  • Refine the comedic exchanges among the Kens to feel more organic. Allow their dialogue to flow naturally, reflecting their distinct characters and the playful atmosphere of Barbie Land.



Scene 6 -  Beach Injuries and Party Plans
EXT. / INT. AMBULANCE / HOSPITAL. MOMENTS LATER.

Barbie Alexandra now in her “Doctor” outfit, tends to a small
scratch, while Barbie Hari, also in her “Doctor” outfit,
looks at the results of some x-rays. Barbie Margot stands by.

BARBIE HARI
Not even broken, you’ll be just
fine.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Shredding waves is much more
dangerous than people know.

BARBIE MARGOT
You’re very brave, Ken.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Thanks, Barbie. Because you know
actually my job isn’t surfer.

BARBIE MARGOT
I know.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
It’s not even lifeguard, which is a
common misconception.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA KEN RYAN GOSLING
Very common. Because my job is actually
just, you know, Beach.
11.


BARBIE HARI
And what a good job you do at
Beach.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
You should heal up in no time.
Actually by the time I finished
that sentence, you healed.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Fantastic!

He leaps off the table and does an “action man” pose. Then:

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Hey, Barbie - Can I come over
later?

Barbie Margot and Barbie Alexandra share a look.

BARBIE MARGOT
Yeah, OK. I don’t have anything big
planned, just a giant blow-out
party with all the Barbies, with
planned choreography and a bespoke
song. But you can stop by, sure.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(with obvious admiration)
Cool.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In this playful scene, Barbie Alexandra and Barbie Hari, dressed as doctors, tend to Ken Ryan Gosling's minor scratch, reassuring him that he's not seriously hurt. Ken humorously clarifies that his job is simply 'Beach,' while Barbie Margot teases him about her upcoming party. Their light-hearted banter reveals Ken's desire to connect with Margot, culminating in a fun exchange as he expresses admiration for her and plans to visit her later.
Strengths
  • Strong character interactions
  • Positive tone and sentiment
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures a playful and imaginative atmosphere, with strong character interactions and a positive sentiment throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a world where Barbies take on various professions and support each other creates a unique and engaging setting for the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Ken Ryan's beach accident and the support he receives from Barbie Margot and the other Barbies, moving the story forward while highlighting the camaraderie among the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters like Barbie and Ken Ryan Gosling in a playful and fantastical setting, blending elements of reality and fantasy in a fresh and entertaining way. The dialogue is witty and humorous, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with distinct personalities and interactions that drive the narrative forward and create engaging dynamics.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the camaraderie and support displayed by the characters contribute to subtle growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of camaraderie and connection with the other characters, particularly Barbie Margot and Barbie Alexandra. This reflects their deeper need for acceptance and belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to invite himself over to Barbie's place later, showcasing his desire for social interaction and possibly romantic interest.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on support and camaraderie among the characters rather than intense drama or tension.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is not strong, as it mainly revolves around social interactions and light-hearted banter rather than serious conflicts or obstacles.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character interactions and support rather than high-intensity conflicts or challenges.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the relationships and dynamics among the characters, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character dynamics and humorous twists in the dialogue that keep the audience guessing and entertained.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between the characters' playful and carefree attitudes and the underlying seriousness of Ken Ryan Gosling's job, which is not fully revealed but hinted at.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by the supportive interactions and positive sentiments among the characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, playful, and supportive, reflecting the positive tone and camaraderie among the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, playful character interactions, and light-hearted tone that keeps the audience entertained and interested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a lively and engaging rhythm that keeps the audience interested in the unfolding events and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and a progression of events that lead to a resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively maintains the light-hearted and whimsical tone established in previous scenes, which is essential for the overall narrative. The playful banter between Ken Ryan Gosling and the Barbies adds humor and keeps the audience engaged.
  • The dialogue is clever and captures the absurdity of the characters' situations, particularly Ken's self-identification as 'just Beach.' However, the humor could be enhanced by making Ken's misunderstanding of his own identity more pronounced, allowing for a stronger comedic effect.
  • The interactions between the characters feel genuine, especially the camaraderie among the Barbies as they care for Ken. However, the scene could benefit from more physical comedy or visual gags to complement the dialogue, enhancing the comedic atmosphere.
  • The transition from the beach to the hospital setting is somewhat abrupt. A brief moment showing the chaos of the beach rescue could provide a smoother transition and reinforce the urgency of Ken's injury.
  • While the scene introduces a light conflict regarding Ken's injury, it lacks a deeper emotional or narrative arc. Adding a moment of vulnerability for Ken or a more significant reaction from Barbie Margot could elevate the stakes and deepen character development.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a visual gag or physical comedy moment as Ken is being treated, such as him trying to show off despite his injury, which could enhance the humor.
  • Expand on Ken's misunderstanding of his identity by having him misinterpret other common beach-related jobs, leading to a funnier exchange with the Barbies.
  • Include a brief moment of chaos or humor during the stretcher scene to better transition into the hospital setting, perhaps showing other Barbies reacting dramatically to Ken's injury.
  • Introduce a moment where Barbie Margot expresses genuine concern for Ken, which could add depth to their relationship and create a more emotional connection.
  • Consider ending the scene with a humorous cliffhanger or unexpected twist, such as Ken's over-the-top excitement about attending the party leading to another mishap, keeping the audience eager for the next scene.



Scene 7 -  A Night of Dance and Independence
EXT. / INT. BARBIE MARGOT’S DREAMHOUSE & STREET. NIGHT.

Barbie Margot has a big block party with all her Barbie
friends, plus Allan and Midge (whom we stay away from!)

DJ BARBIE turns up a song (which is the AMAZING ORIGINAL HIT
SONG FOR THIS MOVIE) and there is a GIANT gorgeous musical
number, starring the Barbies! With Kens as dancing
decoration! It’s fun and sweeping and funny and a real toe-
tapper all around.

Ken Simu joins Barbie Margot for part of the dance, stoking
Ken Ryan Gosling’s ire, who is held back, in a dancing way,
by Ken Kingsley.

Ken Ryan Gosling jumps up and tries to breakdance badly. Ken
Kingsley joins in for moral support..

KEN SIMU
Hey Barbie! Check me out!

Ken Simu does a flip on the dance floor. Ken Ryan Gosling is
enraged.
12.


Barbie Margot turns and dances with her friends whom she’d
much rather be dancing with anyway. This leaves the Kens all
dancing together, which is just obviously funny.

Shouting over the music and dancing, Barbie Margot and
friends appreciate how terrific everything is:

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
(while dancing)
This is a real rager, Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
(also dancing)
THANKS BARBIE! Gosh this night is
just perfect!

BARBIE SHARON
It’s perfectly perfect!

BARBIE EMMA
You look so beautiful Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
Thank you Barbie! I FEEL so
beautiful!

BARBIE SHARON
So do I!

BARBIE HARI
This is the best day ever!

Dancing and shouting and so happy it almost hurts:

BARBIE MARGOT
It IS the best day ever! And so is
yesterday and so is tomorrow and so
is the day after tomorrow and even
Wednesdays and every day from now
until FOREVER!

Suddenly, as the flip side of the coin of this thought:

BARBIE MARGOT
(still shouting)
Do you ever think about dying?!

Literal record scratch and everything is quiet. All the
Barbies and Kens look at her. She’s broken the movie.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to herself)
I don’t know why I just said that?
(MORE)
13.
BARBIE MARGOT (CONT’D)
(to everyone else)
I’m just dying to DANCE!

There is panic in Barbie Margot’s eyes as she starts
maniacally dancing, doing about eight different dance moves
from over the decades, starting with the Twist, going through
disco, punk, break dancing, etc.

The music picks back up, and she is relieved, although
troubled by what just happened. She shakes it off, and
continues to party. Maybe there is nothing wrong!

LATER THAT EVENING...

After their fun party, Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling
stand in the moonlight. Ken leans forward for a goodnight
kiss. He gets part of the way there and then pulls back.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(re: the “kiss”)
Wow.

BARBIE MARGOT
(smiling sweetly)
You can go now.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I was thinking that maybe I could,
you know, stay over tonight?

BARBIE MARGOT
Why?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
‘Cause we’re girlfriend boyfriend.

BARBIE MARGOT
To do what?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
To... I’m not actually sure...

BARBIE MARGOT
But I don’t want you here.

She’s smiling her gorgeous smile. Not mean, just truthful.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(bummed)
Ok.
(pause)
Is it Ken?
14.


BARBIE MARGOT
No, Ken is just a good friend.
(as if it’s comforting:)
And after all, this is MY
Dreamhouse. It’s Barbie’s
Dreamhouse. Not Ken’s Dreamhouse.
Right?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(chastened)
Right as always.

BARBIE MARGOT
And: It’s girl’s night!

We cut to the other side of them to reveal that all of Barbie
Margot’s friends are there, watching it all unfold.

BARBIE EMMA (O.S.)
Come on, Barbie, slumber party!

BARBIE HARI
Come on! The president is here!

BARBIE ISSA
I am. You’re welcome!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Every night is girl’s night.

BARBIE MARGOT
Every night! Forever!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(nodding)
Every night.

BARBIE MARGOT
Forever and ever! Goodnight!

She runs back to her friends. They scream and are THRILLED.
Phew, Ken was a LOT!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(acting out the fantasy)
I love you too. But I can’t... I
gotta go.

And then he leaves, thank goodness. She likes Ken, but she
needs her space!
Genres: ["Musical","Comedy","Romance"]

Summary At Barbie Margot's lively block party, she enjoys a vibrant musical number with her friends and the Kens. Ken Simu impresses her with his dance moves, sparking jealousy in Ken Ryan Gosling, who attempts to breakdance but fails. Amid the festivities, Barbie Margot unexpectedly questions the concept of dying, creating an awkward pause before she resumes dancing. Later, under the moonlight, Ken Ryan Gosling suggests staying over, but Barbie Margot confidently declines, prioritizing her independence and a girls' night with her friends. The scene concludes with her joyfully returning to her friends, reinforcing her need for space.
Strengths
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Creative musical elements
  • Witty dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Low external conflict
  • Limited character growth in this scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a mix of musical elements, humor, and character development. It effectively balances light-hearted moments with a touch of introspection, adding depth to the overall narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a Barbie block party with musical elements and character interactions is creative and engaging. It adds a layer of fun and depth to the narrative, showcasing the personalities of the characters in a dynamic setting.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Barbie Margot's interactions with Ken Ryan Gosling at the block party, adding a romantic element to the overall narrative. The scene progresses smoothly, blending humor with moments of reflection.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unexpected elements, such as Barbie Margot's sudden existential question and her conflicted feelings towards Ken Ryan Gosling. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, especially Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions and dialogue add depth to the scene, showcasing their personalities and relationships.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot experiences a subtle character change during the scene, moving from a carefree party host to a moment of self-awareness and reflection. This adds depth to her character and sets up potential growth in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her sense of independence and control over her own space and decisions, as seen in her interactions with Ken Ryan Gosling.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to have a successful and enjoyable block party with her friends, as well as to navigate her relationships with the Kens and Ken Ryan Gosling.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is relatively low, focusing more on internal conflicts within the characters rather than external challenges. The moment of introspection by Barbie Margot adds a layer of conflict and resolution.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with Barbie Margot facing internal conflicts and external pressures from Ken Ryan Gosling. The audience is left unsure of how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character interactions and relationships rather than high-stakes conflicts. The emphasis is on humor, romance, and self-awareness.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by developing the relationship dynamics between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions in future scenes. It adds depth to the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to Barbie Margot's unexpected question about death and her conflicted feelings towards Ken Ryan Gosling. The audience is kept on their toes by the characters' actions and dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of independence and the importance of maintaining personal boundaries within relationships. Barbie Margot's desire for autonomy clashes with Ken Ryan Gosling's expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, balancing moments of joy and reflection. The characters' interactions and dialogue evoke both laughter and introspection, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and reflective, capturing the essence of the characters and their relationships. It adds to the overall tone and dynamics of the block party.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, drama, and character dynamics. The sudden shift in tone and Barbie Margot's internal conflict keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of fast-paced dancing sequences and slower, introspective moments. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, a resolution, and a sense of closure. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant and playful atmosphere of Barbie Land, showcasing the camaraderie among the characters through the block party. The musical number adds a lively element that aligns well with the overall tone of the screenplay.
  • Barbie Margot's sudden shift from joy to a dark existential question about dying is a bold choice that introduces a stark contrast in tone. However, this moment could benefit from a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the scene. The abruptness of the record scratch and silence may feel jarring to the audience.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, with characters expressing their excitement and support for each other. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, Barbie Margot's repeated affirmations about the day being perfect could be condensed to enhance the pacing.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's character is portrayed as eager yet somewhat insecure, which adds depth to his interactions with Barbie Margot. However, his motivations could be clearer. The dialogue around staying over feels a bit vague and could benefit from more specificity to enhance the emotional stakes.
  • The scene concludes with a strong affirmation of female friendship and independence, which is a positive message. However, the resolution of Ken's disappointment could be more nuanced to avoid making him seem entirely one-dimensional.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of internal conflict for Barbie Margot before she poses her existential question. This could help the audience understand her sudden shift in mood and make it feel less abrupt.
  • Tighten the dialogue by reducing repetitive phrases. For example, instead of multiple characters affirming how perfect the night is, one or two strong lines could suffice to convey the joy of the moment.
  • Clarify Ken Ryan Gosling's intentions when he suggests staying over. Adding a line that reflects his desire for intimacy or connection could deepen the emotional stakes of the moment.
  • Explore the reactions of the other Barbies to Barbie Margot's existential question. Their responses could add humor or depth to the scene, showcasing their personalities and the dynamics of their friendship.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more definitive action or statement from Barbie Margot that reinforces her independence, rather than simply running back to her friends. This could leave a stronger impression of her character's growth.



Scene 8 -  Awakening to Discomfort
INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE, BEDROOM. NIGHT. LATER.

Barbie Margot tucks herself into bed:
15.


BARBIE MARGOT
(to her Barbie neighbors)
Goodnight Barbies! I’m definitely
not thinking about death any more!

Her eyes fly open - she IS THOUGH.

INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE, BEDROOM. MORNING.

MORNING! Barbie opens her eyes, ready for an amazing day. But
something is off, she can feel it - she feels groggy, her
eyes don’t want to open. She stretches, stiff from sleeping.

She makes a face, cups her hands and smells her breath. YUCK!

INT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE, BATHROOM. DAY

She brushes her teeth with nothing, but the gesture makes a
difference.

Same shower situation, but suddenly Barbie YELPS and leaps
out of the way of the non-water.

BARBIE
What the--

How was the water that isn’t even there COLD?! She adjusts
the knobs and then steps back under the non-water. Better.

KITCHEN

Same breakfast situation, but the plastic waffle is burnt -
how is that even possible? She pours milk into a glass (which
is nothing) and drinks. Spits it out. Looks at the container.

BARBIE
Expired?!

Barbie Margot turns and sees (because remember there are no
walls) another Barbie at her breakfast table, who smiles and
waves. Barbie Margot tries to muscle through it - she’s going
to try to smile her way out of this, darn it!

But what is this new feeling? Is it... shame?
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In Barbie's Dreamhouse, Barbie Margot struggles with unsettling feelings as she wakes up groggy and stiff. Despite her attempts to maintain a cheerful facade, she faces bizarre occurrences like brushing her teeth with nothing and discovering burnt plastic waffles at breakfast. Her internal conflict deepens when she feels shame after interacting with a neighbor, highlighting her struggle between the desire for happiness and the discomfort of her reality.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Fantastical elements
  • Character depth
Weaknesses
  • Low external conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, fantasy elements, and introspection to create an engaging and entertaining sequence. The contrast between Barbie's idealized world and the comedic mishaps she encounters adds depth to her character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Barbie's morning routine in a fantastical and humorous way is engaging and unique. The scene effectively blends fantasy elements with introspection, adding depth to Barbie's character.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot of the scene primarily focuses on Barbie's morning routine and internal struggles, it effectively sets up the character dynamics and themes that will be explored later in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of a Barbie Dreamhouse with surreal and fantastical elements. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the uniqueness of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Barbie, are well-developed in this scene. Barbie's internal conflict and vulnerability add depth to her character, making her more relatable and engaging.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie undergoes a subtle internal change in this scene, grappling with her idealized image and the imperfect reality she faces. Her moments of vulnerability and reflection hint at potential growth and self-acceptance.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to hide her fear of death and maintain a positive attitude despite her true feelings. This reflects her deeper need for acceptance and avoidance of negative emotions.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to navigate the strange and surreal situations in the Barbie Dreamhouse, such as the burnt waffle and expired milk. This reflects the immediate challenges she faces in her environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Barbie's struggle with her idealized image and the imperfect reality she faces. While there are moments of tension and awkwardness, the conflict is more subtle.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, as Barbie Margot faces surreal challenges that she must overcome.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on Barbie's internal conflict and comedic mishaps in her morning routine. While there are moments of tension and vulnerability, the stakes are more personal than high-stakes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing character dynamics, themes, and conflicts that will be further explored in the narrative. It sets up the internal struggles and vulnerabilities of the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the surreal and fantastical elements that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the contrast between appearance and reality. Barbie Margot tries to maintain a facade of happiness and perfection, but the surreal environment challenges her beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor and whimsy to moments of vulnerability and reflection. Barbie's internal struggles and the contrast between her perfect exterior and imperfect reality create an emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is humorous and reflective, capturing Barbie's personality and the fantastical world she inhabits. It effectively conveys the internal struggles and comedic moments of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its whimsical and surreal elements, as well as the relatable theme of maintaining appearances despite inner turmoil.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of mystery and intrigue as Barbie Margot navigates the strange events in the Barbie Dreamhouse.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations within the Barbie Dreamhouse.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Barbie Margot's internal struggle with her newfound feelings, particularly shame, which contrasts with the previously vibrant and carefree atmosphere of Barbie Land. This shift in tone is significant and adds depth to her character, showcasing her evolution.
  • The use of humor, such as Barbie brushing her teeth with nothing and the absurdity of burnt plastic waffles, maintains the whimsical tone of the screenplay while also highlighting the surreal nature of Barbie's world. However, the humor could be enhanced by adding more physical comedy or exaggerated reactions to emphasize the absurdity of her situation.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well for conveying Barbie's internal thoughts and feelings. However, incorporating more interactions with her Barbie neighbors could provide additional layers to the scene, allowing for contrasting perspectives on Barbie's emotional state.
  • The transition from night to morning is clear, but the pacing feels slightly rushed. Expanding on Barbie's morning routine could help build tension and allow the audience to fully grasp her discomfort before she encounters the new feelings of shame.
  • The visual elements, such as the non-water and expired milk, are creative and align with the overall theme of the screenplay. However, more vivid descriptions of Barbie's expressions and physical reactions could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Barbie interacts with her neighbors before going to bed, allowing for a contrast between her cheerful facade and her internal turmoil.
  • Expand on Barbie's morning routine by including more exaggerated physical comedy, such as her struggling with the non-water or making a mess with the burnt waffle, to emphasize her disorientation.
  • Introduce a moment of reflection where Barbie acknowledges her feelings of shame, perhaps through a humorous internal monologue, to deepen the audience's understanding of her emotional state.
  • Incorporate more visual gags or absurdities in the breakfast scene to maintain the whimsical tone while highlighting Barbie's confusion and discomfort.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger emotional beat, perhaps with Barbie looking at her reflection and questioning her identity, to set up the conflict for the following scenes.



Scene 9 -  Barbie Margot's Malfunction
EXT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. DAY

Barbie Margot stands at the edge of the roof, waiting to be
flown into her car, and she leans into the air and...

FALLS. Just belly flops into the air.

She pops up out from behind her car, trying to save face,
waving.
16.


BARBIE MARGOT
(to nobody)
I’m fine! A-ok!

People look at her curiously. What is wrong with her?

EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH. DAY

Barbie Margot and Co. all hang out together on the beach.
It’s pretty fun, but not perfect fun.

The Barbies play a wicked game of Beach Volleyball while the
Kens cheer (like reverse Top Gun, remember this).

ALLAN
Great cheer, Kens!

Everyone else laughs earnestly but when Barbie Margot tries,
it’s forced.

BARBIE MARGOT
(tripping over the laugh)
Ha, ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha.

Something is wrong. Why can’t she really laugh?

BARBIE ANA
(calling out)
Come on, Barbie, let’s run towards
the water!

Barbie Margot steps up on her tip-toes and wobbles weirdly on
the sand. She can’t hold it any longer, her foot cramps and
she topples to the ground. She looks down and discovers that
her feet are - SHOCK! HORROR! - No longer arched!!!

She’s just got big ole flat feet. She gasps and tries to
crawl herself to the beach bench. Barbie Alexandra, Barbie
Hari, Barbie Sharon, Barbie Emma and Barbie Ana rush over:

BARBIE SHARON
Hey Barbie, are you OK?

BARBIE MARGOT
Yeah, Barbie, I just fell...

BARBIE HARI BARBIE MARGOT
Fell?! (looking around)
I’m so... embarrassed.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
Barbie doesn’t get embarrassed!
17.


BARBIE MARGOT
Barbie, I think my - I don’t even
have any context for this, but - I
think my feet are - my heels are on
the ground.

BARBIE ANA
WHAT?!

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m no longer on my tip-toes.

BARBIE HARI
Let me see.
(gasp!)
FLAT FEET!!

Barbie Hari throws up nothing. Same with Barbie Alexandra.
Ken Kingsley joins in, throwing up nothing.

BARBIE SHARON
Stop it, Ken.

KEN KINGSLEY
(nauseous)
I’m sorry... I’m sorry...

The Barbies ignore him.

BARBIE MARGOT
(panicking)
I know I’m Stereotypical Barbie,
and therefore don’t form
conjectures concerning the
causality of adjacent unfolding
events, but some stuff has been
happening that might be related:
bad breath this morning, a cold
shower, burnt waffle, falling off
my roof...

Barbie Alexandra gasps, hand over mouth.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
You’re malfunctioning!

BARBIE MARGOT
What? No, I’m just, am I?

BARBIE EMMA
(horrifyingly drawn in)
I’ve never seen this kind of
malfunction.
(MORE)
18.
BARBIE EMMA (CONT’D)
It’s usually just hair related. You
know - you’re going to have to
visit... Weird Barbie.

BARBIE MARGOT
But I’ve never had to go visit
Weird Barbie.

BARBIE HARI
That’s because you’ve never
malfunctioned.

BARBIE SHARON
I heard that she used to be the
most beautiful Barbie of all but
then someone played too hard with
her in the Real World...

CUT TO: The REAL WORLD with a little girl doing that thing we
all do to our Barbies at some point. She snips off her hair,
colors her face with marker, lights her hair on fire, puts
her in the splits and drop kicks her into her toy bin.

BACK TO: Barbie Margot looking concerned. Barbie Hari is in a
trance of the Legend of Weird Barbie:

BARBIE HARI
...and now she’s fated to an
eternity of making other Barbies
perfect while falling more and more
into disrepair herself. And that we
call her Weird Barbie all the time
both behind her back and also to
her face.
(happy again)
Anyway, you have to go see her!

BARBIE MARGOT
Ugh, she’s SO Weird. And why is she
always in the splits?
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In this comedic yet anxious scene, Barbie Margot attempts a daring leap from her Dreamhouse but belly flops instead. At the beach, she struggles to fit in during a volleyball game, leading to the revelation of her flat feet, which causes embarrassment and concern among her friends. The Barbies discuss the need to visit 'Weird Barbie' for help, highlighting Margot's growing confusion about her identity. The scene ends with Margot's reluctance to seek assistance, emphasizing her discomfort.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative concept
  • Character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive humor
  • Slight lack of depth in emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is engaging, humorous, and introduces a new conflict in Barbie Margot's perfect world, adding depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Margot experiencing a malfunction in Barbie Land is creative and adds an unexpected twist to the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances with Barbie Margot's malfunction, introducing a new obstacle for the character to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and imaginative take on the world of Barbie dolls, exploring themes of identity, beauty, and friendship in a unique and humorous way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, despite the fantastical setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters react authentically to Barbie Margot's situation, showcasing their personalities and relationships.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie Margot experiences a significant change with her malfunction, challenging her perfect image and leading to potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her image of perfection and avoid embarrassment. This reflects her deeper need for validation and acceptance from her peers.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to figure out why she is experiencing physical changes and how to fix them. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in maintaining her appearance and identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict arises from Barbie Margot's malfunction, creating tension and humor in the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Barbie Margot faces physical changes and social pressure to conform to beauty standards. The audience is unsure of how she will navigate these challenges, adding tension and intrigue to the scene.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on humor and character development.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new obstacle for Barbie Margot to overcome, setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected physical changes experienced by Barbie Margot and the mysterious introduction of Weird Barbie. The audience is left wondering about the cause of these events and how they will impact the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the pressure to conform to societal standards of beauty and perfection versus embracing individuality and imperfection. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about her own worth and identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including humor, embarrassment, and concern for Barbie Margot.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the humor and confusion of the scene, adding to the comedic tone.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, relatable characters, and intriguing plot developments. The audience is drawn into the fantastical world of Barbie Land and invested in Barbie Margot's journey to solve her physical changes.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of comedic moments, character interactions, and plot progression. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences adds to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct character actions and dialogue. It adheres to the expected format for a comedic screenplay, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a comedic and engaging format, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in delivering humor and character development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Barbie Margot's internal struggle with her identity and the concept of perfection, which is central to the narrative. However, the transition from her previous feelings of shame to her physical malfunction could be more seamless. The emotional stakes could be heightened by showing more of her internal thoughts or feelings as she realizes her flat feet, rather than relying solely on dialogue.
  • The dialogue is playful and fits the tone of the film, but some lines feel a bit on-the-nose, particularly when Barbie Margot states, 'I think my feet are - my heels are on the ground.' This could be rephrased to sound more natural and less expository. Additionally, the reactions of the other Barbies could be more varied to reflect a range of emotions, from concern to humor, rather than a uniform shock.
  • The introduction of Weird Barbie is a strong narrative device, but the exposition about her could be more integrated into the scene. Instead of having Barbie Hari recount the legend, consider showing a flashback or a visual representation of Weird Barbie's past, which could add depth and visual interest to the storytelling.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from Barbie Margot's fall to the group gathering around her. Allowing for a moment of silence or a more dramatic pause could enhance the comedic effect of her embarrassment and the absurdity of the situation.
  • The visual elements are engaging, but the scene could benefit from more dynamic staging. For example, incorporating more physical comedy or exaggerated reactions from the Barbies could enhance the humor and make the scene more visually entertaining.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Barbie Margot as she processes her feelings of embarrassment and confusion about her flat feet. This could deepen the audience's connection to her character.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to sound more natural and less expository. For example, Barbie Margot could express her feelings about her flat feet in a more relatable way, perhaps through a humorous metaphor or analogy.
  • Integrate the backstory of Weird Barbie more visually, perhaps through a quick flashback or a visual cue that shows her transformation, rather than relying solely on dialogue to convey her history.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly after Barbie Margot's fall to allow for a more comedic buildup of tension and reactions from the other characters. This could enhance the humor and emotional impact of the scene.
  • Incorporate more physical comedy and exaggerated reactions from the Barbies to enhance the humor and visual appeal of the scene, making it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 10 -  Confronting the Absurd: Barbie Margot's Quest
EXT/INT. WEIRD BARBIE’S WEIRDHOUSE. DAY

Barbie Margot climbs the seemingly never-ending stairs up to
the Weirdhouse. It’s like an abstract art version of every
girl’s Dreamhouse after she’s played with it for years. Think
Jeff Koons, Gaudi, Murakami all put in a blender.

BARBIE MARGOT
I would never wear heels if my feet
were shaped this way!

Barbie Margot steps gingerly in, looking around.
19.


BARBIE MARGOT
Um, hello?

Barbie Margot frowns. A dog (Tanner) passes by and poops out
little plastic pellets. Barbie Margot steps around them.

WEIRD BARBIE (O.S.)
(from the dark)
What’s cookin’ good lookin’?

A pool of light illuminates Weird Barbie - she’s in the
splits, has an unintentionally asymmetrical short haircut and
mismatched clothes. She’s like David Bowie + a hairless cat.

WEIRD BARBIE
Welcome, welcome to my Weirdhouse.

Weird Barbie hitches her leg down and lopes oddly into a
giant room. Maybe she does a flip or two.

WEIRD BARBIE
(looking at the floor)
Sorry about the dog crap! Why
anyone would want to introduce
pooping into a doll universe is
beyond me.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
(with distain)
Or pregnancy.

WEIRD BARBIE
(moving on)
What can I do you for?

BARBIE MARGOT
(taking off her heels)
I had to come see you about -- My
feet -- they’re um...

WEIRD BARBIE
(looking)
FLAT! HA!
(with interest)
I’ve never seen that before...

BARBIE MARGOT
Yeah. Can you fix them?

WEIRD BARBIE
(suspicious)
You’re Stereotypical Barbie, aren’t
you?
20.


BARBIE MARGOT
Uh, yeah...

WEIRD BARBIE
That Ken of yours is one nice
looking little protein pot.

BARBIE MARGOT
Um, I guess.

WEIRD BARBIE
I’d love to see what kind of nude
blob he’s packing under those
jeans.

She claps her open hands together like the way little kids
mash Barbies together. Barbie Margot watches with horror. It
goes on too long and then stops as suddenly as it started:

WEIRD BARBIE
Anyway. What preceded this?

BARBIE MARGOT
Oh, um, nothing. A really fun game
of volleyball...

WEIRD BARBIE
Really?!

BARBIE MARGOT
(mumbles)
Thoughts of death.

Weird Barbie looks at her horrified. Small voice:

BARBIE MARGOT
Is that a problem?

WEIRD BARBIE
(concerned)
Oh.

BARBIE MARGOT
What?

WEIRD BARBIE BARBIE MARGOT
Oh. What?!

WEIRD BARBIE
I’d heard this was possible but
I’ve never seen it happen before.

BARBIE MARGOT
Never?!
21.


WEIRD BARBIE
You’ve opened a portal!

BARBIE MARGOT
I didn’t open a portal!

WEIRD BARBIE
Well, someone did! There is a rip
in the continuum that is the
membrane between Barbie Land and
the Real World and if you want to
be Stereotypical Barbie perfect
again you’ve got to go fix it! Or
you’re going to keep going funny.
Look at your upper thigh.

She does. Ack! A dimple.

BARBIE MARGOT
What is that?!

WEIRD BARBIE
CELLULITE. It’ll spread EVERYWHERE
and you’ll start getting mushy and
sad and... complicated.

BARBIE MARGOT
NO!!! What do I have to do?!?

With that, Weird Barbie turns and travels through her house,
up and over all of the strange architecture. Barbie Margot
tries to keep up.

WEIRD BARBIE
You have to go to the Real World
and find the girl who is playing
with you.

BARBIE MARGOT
Playing with me?

Weird Barbie goes through the mess around her, finding a
technical drawing which she refers to briefly and then gets
tired and throws it back on the stack.

WEIRD BARBIE
We’re all being played with!
Usually there’s some kind of
separation: there’s the Girl, aka
the Player, and the Doll, aka the
Playee. And never the twain shall
cross.
22.


BARBIE MARGOT
The twain is crossing?

WEIRD BARBIE
(another drawing)
Yes! The girl playing with you must
be sad and her thoughts and
feelings and humanness are
interfering with your dollness. Am
I being too technical?

BARBIE MARGOT
Why would she be sad? We fixed
everything so that all women in the
real world are happy and powerful!

WEIRD BARBIE
I DON’T KNOW!
(looking at her hard)
If you ask me, you’re responsible
for this, too. It usually takes two
to rip the portal.

BARBIE MARGOT
ME?! But I didn’t do anything. I’ve
only ever wanted for things to be
exactly as they are.

WEIRD BARBIE
Well however it happened, you and
she are becoming inextricably
intertwined. You have to help her
to help yourself.

Weird Barbie holds her hands out: this is a Matrix moment
where Barbie Margot is offered two different versions of
life, i.e. red pill and blue pill, except for Weird Barbie
holds a high-heeled shoe in one hand and a Birkenstock sandal
in the other. Very dramatic, full of meaning and moodiness.

BARBIE MARGOT
(re: Birkenstock)
What is that?!

WEIRD BARBIE
(cryptically)
So what will it be? You can go back
to the way your life was--
(holding the high heel up)
--and not even remember that this
happened, or you can know the truth
about the universe.
(holds up the Birkenstock
and with a woo-woo voice)
(MORE)
23.
WEIRD BARBIE (CONT’D)
The question is planted in your
mind. The choice is yours.

Breaking the “mysterious” spell, Barbie Margot answers
instantly and with too much chipper energy:

BARBIE MARGOT
The first one. The high heel.

WEIRD BARBIE
(annoyed)
No. We’ll do a redo. You’re
supposed to want to know!

BARBIE MARGOT
(cheerfully)
I don’t.

WEIRD BARBIE
Babe, listen. You have to want to
know.

BARBIE MARGOT
I'm not Adventure Barbie, I'm
Stereotypical Barbie. I'm like the
Barbie you think of when someone
says "think of a Barbie" and that's
me!

WEIRD BARBIE
That is so sad.

BARBIE MARGOT
(closes her eyes, happily)
Okay, I’m ready to forget now.

WEIRD BARBIE
NO!

BARBIE MARGOT
(opening her eyes)
Why?

WEIRD BARBIE
You’re doing this anyway.
I just gave you a choice so you
could feel like you’re in control!

BARBIE MARGOT
So there is no first option?
24.


WEIRD BARBIE
NO! You have to go fix the rip
yourself. Don’t blame me, blame
Mattel, they make the rules.

BARBIE MARGOT
Ugh, I don’t want to go.

WEIRD BARBIE
Fine, get cellulite, I don’t care.

Weird Barbie turns away. On Barbie Margot. She summons all
her bravery. She wants to meet the moment.

BARBIE MARGOT
(steels herself)
Send me through the portal.

Weird Barbie laughs, and then opens a toy-manual.

WEIRD BARBIE
Oh, no, there’s no portal to the
other world. That’s just a figure
of speech.

We see the different vehicles as she rattles off:

WEIRD BARBIE
It’s a sports car to a speed boat
to a rocket ship to a tandem bike
to a camper van--FUN--to a
snowmobile--BRR--which will take
you most of the way to the state of
Los Angeles where you’ll don neon
and rollerblades and enter the
country of California. Weird, I
know. Best if you don’t think about
it too much.

Weird Barbie takes a swig from a flask with nothing in it (of
course), presentation done. After all the energy she now
seems tired of this whole business, and hurries Barbie Margot
out.

BARBIE MARGOT
When I’m there, how do I find this
girl?

WEIRD BARBIE
You will know.

BARBIE MARGOT
And how will I get back?
25.


WEIRD BARBIE
Same way you came, in reverse.

BARBIE MARGOT
Like I should go forward but do the
order backward or move backward and
do the order backward or...?

WEIRD BARBIE
(voice of Zuul)
REVERSE EVERYTHING.

BARBIE MARGOT
K.

WEIRD BARBIE
If you don’t find her and fix
things, what’s ugly will become
uglier, what’s weird will become
weirder.

Barbie Margot screams.

WEIRD BARBIE
And then you will look like me.

Barbie Margot screams again.

WEIRD BARBIE
Gee, thanks. I understand. I set
myself up for that. Anyway, I
believe in you.

BARBIE MARGOT
(flustered)
Thank you... bye!
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In the whimsical Weirdhouse, Barbie Margot meets the eccentric Weird Barbie, who highlights the oddities of their doll universe. Seeking help for her flat feet, Barbie Margot learns that her issues are linked to a sad girl in the Real World. Weird Barbie presents her with a choice: return to her old life or uncover the truth about her existence. Opting for the former, Barbie Margot is urged to confront her challenges and embark on a quest to mend the rift in their universe, leaving her flustered yet determined.
Strengths
  • Innovative concept
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion for the audience
  • Lack of clarity in the rules of Barbie Land

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly engaging, offering a unique and imaginative take on Barbie's world. It introduces a compelling conflict and sets up a mysterious quest for Barbie Margot, adding depth to her character.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a rip in the continuum between Barbie Land and the Real World is innovative and adds a new dimension to the story. It introduces a sense of mystery and adventure that propels the narrative forward.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is focused on Barbie Margot's discovery of the rip in the continuum and her mission to find the girl playing with her in the Real World. It sets up a clear objective and raises the stakes for the character.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh take on the Barbie doll universe, the unconventional characterizations of Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie, and the imaginative concept of a portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie are well-developed and engaging. Their interaction reveals more about Barbie Margot's personality and sets up her character arc for the rest of the story.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie Margot undergoes a significant change in perspective as she confronts the idea of the rip in the continuum and her changing physical appearance. This sets her on a path of self-discovery and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the strange situation she finds herself in and understand the implications of the portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. This reflects her deeper need for control and stability in her life.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to fix the rip in the continuum between Barbie Land and the Real World to prevent further complications in her dollness. This reflects the immediate challenge she faces in maintaining her perfect Barbie image.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Barbie Margot grapples with the concept of the rip in the continuum and her changing physical appearance. It sets up a larger conflict for her to resolve.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong in the form of Weird Barbie challenging Barbie Margot's beliefs and pushing her to confront the consequences of the portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. The audience is left uncertain about how Barbie Margot will navigate this obstacle.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised as Barbie Margot faces the possibility of becoming 'uglier' and 'weirder' if she doesn't resolve the rip in the continuum. This adds urgency and importance to her mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict, setting up a quest for Barbie Margot, and deepening the mystery surrounding the rip in the continuum. It propels the narrative towards a new direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its surreal and whimsical nature, the unexpected twists in the dialogue and character interactions, and the mysterious elements surrounding the portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the idealized perfection of Barbie Land and the messy, complicated reality of the Real World. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about perfection and control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including humor, confusion, and a sense of foreboding. Barbie Margot's realization of the potential consequences adds depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It drives the story forward and adds depth to the interaction between Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its surreal and humorous elements, the dynamic interaction between Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie, and the unfolding mystery of the portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. The dialogue and character dynamics keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-driven moments with action sequences, maintaining a sense of tension and intrigue, and building towards the revelation of the portal between Barbie Land and the Real World. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and character actions are well-defined.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the characters, and advancing the plot through dialogue and action. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and surreal nature of Weird Barbie's environment, which aligns well with the overall tone of the screenplay. The description of the Weirdhouse as an abstract art version of a Dreamhouse is vivid and imaginative, setting the stage for the eccentricity of Weird Barbie's character.
  • The dialogue between Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie is humorous and showcases their contrasting personalities. However, some exchanges, particularly Weird Barbie's comments about Ken, may come off as overly crude or jarring, potentially alienating some viewers. Balancing humor with sensitivity is crucial, especially in a family-oriented narrative.
  • Barbie Margot's internal conflict about her identity and the implications of her flat feet is a strong thematic element. However, the transition from her light-hearted banter to the serious topic of the portal feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the emotional impact of her realization about the consequences of her existence.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven. While the initial interactions are lively, the latter part, especially the explanation of the portal and the choices Barbie Margot faces, feels rushed. This could lead to confusion for the audience regarding the stakes and the significance of her journey.
  • The use of visual gags, such as the dog pooping plastic pellets, adds a layer of absurdity that fits the tone. However, it may detract from the more serious themes being introduced. Ensuring that humor complements rather than overshadows the narrative's emotional depth is essential.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining Weird Barbie's humor to ensure it remains playful without crossing into inappropriate territory. This will help maintain the family-friendly tone of the screenplay.
  • Enhance the transition between the light-hearted banter and the serious discussion about the portal. This could involve adding a moment of reflection for Barbie Margot that allows her to process the implications of her situation before diving into the portal explanation.
  • Pace the scene more evenly by allowing for pauses after significant revelations, such as the mention of the portal and the consequences of Barbie Margot's actions. This will give the audience time to absorb the information and heighten the stakes.
  • Explore Barbie Margot's emotional journey more deeply. Perhaps include a moment where she expresses her fears or doubts about the journey ahead, which could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Consider adding more visual elements that reflect the chaos and creativity of Weird Barbie's world, which could enhance the whimsical atmosphere while also serving the narrative's themes.



Scene 11 -  A Bittersweet Send-Off
EXT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE/CUL-DE-SAC. MORNING

Barbie Margot’s having a send off party with all of the
Barbies - there is a big banner that reads:

“Bon Voyage to Reality and Good Luck Restoring The Membrane
That Separates Our World From Theirs So You Don’t Get
Cellulite!”

The Kens all stand to the side, a bit like men at a baby
shower. There, but not. Ken Ryan Gosling and Ken Simu do a
jealous mingle.

KEN SIMU
I guess she’s going without you.
26.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
(clearly lying)
No, she literally asked me, but I
preferred to stay here.

KEN SIMU
(provoking)
Why? Are you scared?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No!

KEN SIMU
I’ll bet you’re scared and I bet
she doesn’t even want you to go.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
You bet both of those things
incorrectly! I bet the other
direction!

KEN SIMU
Which way is that? You don’t even
know.

Barbie gathers around her car with her friends.

BARBIE MARGOT
I just don’t want to leave! I’m
Trying to find reasons not to
leave!! I’m going to miss you guys
so much. I just wish someone could
come with me... but you can’t. I
should do this alone.

Back to the Kens. The other group of Kens are playing a very
mysterious game which appears to be mostly guessing:

KEN KINGSLEY
What bird am I thinking of?

KEN NCUTI
Parrot.

KEN SCOTT
Dolphin. I mean, no, a bird.

KEN KINGSLEY
(pleased)
PELICAN.

Back to the Barbies: all the Barbies finish bringing her
stuff to the car.
27.


BARBIE ALEXANDRA
We’ll miss you Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m going to be back in no time
with perfect feet and we’ll forget
that this ever happened.

BARBIE EMMA
And you’ll get to see all the good
work we’ve done to fix the world.

BARBIE ANA
You’ll be such a hero to them!

BARBIE SHARON
All those grateful, powerful women
who owe their wonderful lives to
Barbie.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
I bet every woman will say thank
you and give you a really big hug!

BARBIE MARGOT
(deep breath)
Yes! You’re right! OK, here I go!
Bye!

BARBIE MERMAID
(bursting out of the pool)
Bye Barbie! Good luck in reality!

Barbie Margot hops in her convertible, waving and driving off
into the sunset.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary Barbie Margot's send-off party is filled with support from her fellow Barbies as they help her pack for her journey into reality. The Kens, particularly Ken Ryan Gosling, grapple with jealousy and insecurity about her departure, leading to playful banter among them. As Margot prepares to leave, her friends express their encouragement and excitement for her adventure. Ultimately, Margot embraces her journey, bidding farewell to her friends before driving off into the sunset.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Emotional impact
  • Creative concept
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Potential lack of depth in character changes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a strong focus on humor and whimsy, maintaining a positive and hopeful sentiment. The unique concept of Barbie Margot's departure adds depth to the storyline.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie Margot leaving Barbie Land to fix a rip in the continuum is creative and adds depth to the storyline. The scene effectively conveys the emotional farewell party and sets up future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around Barbie Margot's departure and her friends' reactions, leading to her decision to leave Barbie Land. It sets up a new direction for the story and introduces a potential conflict to be resolved.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of Barbie dolls coming to life and going on a mission to restore the membrane between worlds. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic to their personalities and add depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Barbie Margot and her friends, are well-developed and showcase their unique personalities and relationships. The scene highlights their bond and sets up potential character growth.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot undergoes a subtle change as she decides to leave Barbie Land and embark on a new journey. Her friends also show support and understanding, hinting at potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with leaving her friends and embarking on a journey alone. This reflects her deeper need for independence, courage, and self-discovery.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to go on a journey to restore the membrane that separates their world from reality. This reflects the immediate challenge she's facing and the responsibility she feels towards her world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on Barbie Margot's emotional farewell and decision to leave. However, the potential conflict of fixing the rip in the continuum adds depth to the storyline.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, with characters challenging each other's beliefs and motivations. The audience is left wondering how Barbie Margot will overcome her fears and obstacles.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate as Barbie Margot prepares to leave Barbie Land to fix a rip in the continuum. The potential consequences of her mission add tension and importance to her decision.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up Barbie Margot's departure and the mission to fix the rip in the continuum. It introduces new challenges and developments for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue, character interactions, and the fantastical elements of the Barbie world. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of courage, friendship, and self-discovery. It challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about independence, sacrifice, and heroism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact as Barbie Margot prepares to leave her friends, evoking feelings of nostalgia, hope, and friendship. The departure adds depth to the characters' relationships.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty and humorous, reflecting the playful tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the emotions and relationships between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its imaginative setting, witty dialogue, and emotional moments. The interactions between characters and the sense of adventure keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and emotional beats. It keeps the story moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to read and visualize.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and a resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Barbie Margot's departure, showcasing her relationships with her friends and the conflicting feelings she experiences. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth and nuance to enhance the emotional stakes. For instance, Barbie Margot's internal struggle about leaving could be more explicitly articulated, allowing the audience to connect with her on a deeper level.
  • The juxtaposition of the Kens' jealousy and the Barbies' supportive farewell is a clever way to highlight the dynamics between the characters. However, the Kens' banter feels somewhat superficial and could be enriched with more character-specific humor or insights that reflect their personalities. This would make their interactions more engaging and memorable.
  • The use of the banner is a humorous touch, but it may come off as overly on-the-nose. Consider finding a more subtle way to convey the stakes of Barbie Margot's journey. This could involve a more personal farewell from her friends that reflects their unique relationships rather than a generalized message.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from Barbie Margot's emotional farewell to the Kens' playful banter. Slowing down the moment when Barbie Margot expresses her fears about leaving could heighten the emotional impact and allow for a more poignant farewell.
  • The scene ends on a light note with Barbie Margot driving off, but it might benefit from a moment of reflection or hesitation before she leaves. This could reinforce her internal conflict and make her decision to leave feel more significant.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Barbie Margot expresses her fears or doubts more explicitly, perhaps through a brief monologue or a conversation with a close friend. This would deepen her character and make her departure more impactful.
  • Enhance the Kens' dialogue by incorporating more character-specific traits or quirks. For example, each Ken could have a unique way of expressing jealousy or support that aligns with their established personalities.
  • Revise the banner to be more personal or humorous in a way that reflects Barbie Margot's journey. Instead of a generic farewell message, it could include a playful inside joke or reference that resonates with her friends.
  • Slow down the pacing during key emotional moments, allowing Barbie Margot's farewell to breathe. This could involve lingering on her expressions or reactions as she interacts with her friends, emphasizing the weight of her decision.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation or reflection for Barbie Margot before she drives off. This could be a brief pause where she looks back at her friends, reinforcing the emotional stakes of her departure and making her journey feel more significant.



Scene 12 -  Unexpected Adventure
INT. CONVERTIBLE/EXT. BARBIE LAND OPEN ROAD. MORNING

Barbie Margot drives and sings along SUPER LOUD to Indigo
Girls “Closer to Fine,” which for some reason they have in
Barbie Land. She’s loving this adventure, actually!

BARBIE MARGOT
“I went to the doctor / I went to
the mountains / I looked to the
children / I drank from the
fountains... AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ken Ryan Gosling pops up in the backseat singing and Barbie
Margot screams her head off and he screams at her screaming.
They skid off the road, flipping over a few times and then
landing upright in the desert.
28.


RADIO
(Indigo Girls still
singing)
“Closer I am to Fine...”

Still hysterical:

BARBIE MARGOT
What are you doing here?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I’m coming with you!

BARBIE MARGOT
Please get out!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No! I can’t! I have a double bet
with Ken, please, you can’t make me
look uncool in front of Ken!

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ken’s not cool! HE IS TO ME!

BARBIE MARGOT
You’re just going to slow me down!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
What if there’s Beach? You’ll need
someone who is a professional in
that!

BARBIE MARGOT
(relenting)
Did you bring your roller blades?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(holding them up, smiling)
I literally go nowhere without
them.

She thinks, and then relents.

BARBIE MARGOT
OK, let’s do this.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(so excited)
Can I sit in front?

BARBIE MARGOT
NO!
29.


He accepts this, and they’re OFF! Dramatic music as they go
through all the different kinds of transportation.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
So Barbie and Ken set off on their
adventure to the Real World!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Barbie Margot joyfully drives through Barbie Land, singing to 'Closer to Fine' when Ken Ryan Gosling suddenly appears in her backseat, causing a chaotic car skid that flips their convertible. After a humorous exchange about Ken's desire to join her adventure, Barbie reluctantly agrees to let him come along. The scene ends with them setting off together, ready for their journey to the Real World.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Exciting adventure
  • Dynamic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slight predictability in character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a blend of humor, excitement, and whimsy, making it engaging and entertaining for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Margot leaving Barbie Land for the Real World with Ken Ryan Gosling adds a fresh and adventurous twist to the storyline, creating a fun and entertaining narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of Barbie Margot's unexpected adventure with Ken Ryan Gosling adds depth and humor to the scene, driving the story forward and keeping the audience entertained.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and imaginative take on familiar characters, blending elements of fantasy and reality in a unique way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling's dynamic and humorous interactions enhance the scene, adding comedic elements and depth to their characters.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot's decision to allow Ken Ryan Gosling to join her on the adventure shows a slight change in her character, adding depth and humor to their dynamic.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control of her adventure and assert her independence. This reflects her deeper need for autonomy and self-reliance, as well as her desire for excitement and new experiences.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to continue her journey to the Real World and overcome any obstacles that come her way. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her adventure and the challenges she faces in navigating the unknown.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling adds humor and tension to the scene, driving the narrative forward and keeping the audience engaged.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling facing off against each other in a battle of wills and personalities. The audience is left unsure of how their conflict will be resolved, adding tension and drama to the scene.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the comedic and adventurous elements keep the audience engaged and entertained.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new and unexpected plot development, setting the stage for further adventures.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and dialogue, creating suspense and intrigue for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between Barbie Margot's desire for independence and Ken Ryan Gosling's need for validation and acceptance. This challenges Barbie's beliefs about self-sufficiency and highlights the importance of relationships and teamwork.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene's focus on humor and adventure limits the emotional impact, but it still provides light-hearted entertainment for the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling is witty, humorous, and engaging, adding to the comedic and adventurous tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and excitement, keeping the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that propel the story forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and chaotic nature of Barbie Land, particularly through the use of humor and exaggerated reactions. The introduction of Ken Ryan Gosling in the backseat adds an unexpected twist that heightens the comedic tension, showcasing the playful dynamic between the characters.
  • The dialogue is snappy and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly Barbie Margot's initial frustration and Ken's eagerness to join her. However, the back-and-forth could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance their individuality and make their interactions feel more dynamic.
  • The transition from singing joyfully to the chaotic car flip is visually engaging, but the stakes of the situation could be heightened. While the absurdity is entertaining, grounding the moment with a hint of real danger or consequence could amplify the comedic effect and make the audience more invested in their adventure.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the dialogue could be tightened in places. For instance, Ken's insistence on joining Barbie could be more concise to maintain the momentum of the scene. Streamlining the dialogue would help keep the energy high and the comedic timing sharp.
  • The ending, with the voiceover from Helen Mirren, serves as a nice narrative bridge to the next adventure. However, it might feel a bit abrupt. A more gradual transition or a visual cue that leads into the next scene could enhance the flow and maintain audience engagement.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving Ken a more unique way of expressing his desire to join Barbie, perhaps through a humorous anecdote or a specific reason that ties into his character, rather than just a bet. This could deepen his character and make the audience more invested in his presence.
  • Add a moment of genuine concern or frustration from Barbie before she relents, which could create a stronger emotional arc in her decision-making process. This would help to illustrate her internal conflict about needing help versus wanting independence.
  • Incorporate more visual gags or physical comedy during the car flip to enhance the absurdity of the situation. For example, showing items flying around the car or exaggerated reactions from Barbie and Ken could amplify the humor.
  • Consider using a different song or a brief musical interlude that reflects Barbie's emotional state as she drives. This could add depth to the scene and provide a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • To improve the transition to the next scene, consider ending with a visual cue, such as a close-up of Barbie's determined face as they drive off, which could then fade into the next adventure, rather than relying solely on the voiceover.



Scene 13 -  Objectification at Venice Beach
EXT. TRANSPORTATION

Sports Car - back in their car and on the ROAD! Into...

Speed Boat - Barbie drives the speedboat while Ken hides from
a seagull.

Rocket Ship - Barbie and Ken wear space suits and ride a
rocket, which makes zero sense.

Tandem Bike - through the prairie OR the French Alps? Barbie
on the front of the bike, Ken behind.

Camper Van - In a National Park they screech to a stop, jump
off their bikes, and set up a little grill. Ken flips a
burger while Barbie chills out in a lawn chair, reading a
tabloid.

Snowmobile - BACK TO THE ACTION! - Ken hangs on to Barbie for
dear life as she catches air over slaloms.

EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK

Rollerblades - Finally they are in the sunny state of
California, in the town of LA, on the boardwalk of Venice
Beach - wearing rollerblades.

Barbie Margot wears a bikini and Ken wears a onesie. They’re
openly getting a lot of looks. Just the two of them in REAL
Los Angeles is genuinely strange and hilarious. They appear
as extremely good-looking aliens.

BARBIE MARGOT
Wow! The Real World!

Ken smiles and waves loving all of this, but Barbie Margot
looks confused bordering on anxious.

Note: this is more real than Barbie Land but still
heightened, like a 1980s comedy - slightly exaggerated. Like
there is no way Ferris Bueller sang the Beatles at that
German parade, but we allow it because it’s fun. Same here.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
See, I told you there’d be Beach!
30.


BEACH DUDE
(hollering at her)
Give us a smile, blondie.

People are laughing and pointing and amused and also leering.

BARBIE MARGOT
What’s going on, why are all these
men looking at me?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
They’re also looking at ME!

Ken winks at someone who winks back.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I LOVE THIS!

BARBIE MARGOT
(looking worried)
I feel kind of ill-at-ease, I don’t
even know the word for it... Like
I’m conscious of it but it’s my
self I’m conscious of--

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(happy as a clam)
I’m not getting any of that. I feel
appreciated but not ogled. Mine has
no undertone of violence.

BARBIE MARGOT
Mine very much has an undertone of
violence.

Up ahead is a construction site, workers on break for lunch.

BARBIE MARGOT
Oh, great! A construction site! We
need that good feminine energy.

But as they get closer, it’s not what she thought.
Construction workers eat sandwiches and cat-call Barbie.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER 1 CONSTRUCTION WORKER 3
Do fries come with that Have I died and gone to
shake? heaven because you’re an
angel.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER 2 CONSTRUCTION WORKER 4
If I said you had a hot body, Is that a mirror in your
would you hold it against me? pocket? ‘Cause I can see
myself in your pants!
31.


BARBIE MARGOT
I don’t know exactly what you meant
by all those little quips, but I’m
picking up on some sort of entendre
which appears to be double, and I
would just like to inform you that
I don’t have a vagina and he--
(pointing at Ken)
--doesn’t have a penis. We don’t
have genitals

The Construction Workers look at them blankly and then shrug,
unbothered. This is Los Angeles after all, live and let live!

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS
Far out!... That’s okay... Whatever
works... you do you...

They’re actually very sweet guys. She blades away as Ken Ryan
Gosling tries to impress the construction workers.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I have all the genitals.

He catches up to Barbie Margot.

BARBIE MARGOT
Jeez, you would think a
construction site at lunchtime
would be the perfect place for a
little woman-power. But this one
was so... male.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(a little excited)
Yeah everything is almost, like,
reversed, here.

There’s a slight moment here. Like maybe he’s ON to
something... But they’re distracted as they pass a large
billboard advertising The Miss Universe Contest:

BARBIE MARGOT
Look, the Supreme Court!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
They’re so smart!

Another Beach dude passes by and slaps Barbie Margot on the
ass. Barbie Margot punches him in the face. Ken screams.
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Barbie and Ken enjoy a playful day at Venice Beach, showcasing their whimsical journey through various modes of transportation. While rollerblading in revealing outfits, Barbie feels uncomfortable with the attention from onlookers, contrasting with Ken's enjoyment of it. Their encounter with construction workers leads to humorous exchanges, but Barbie's frustration culminates in her punching a man who disrespects her, highlighting the conflict between her discomfort and Ken's carefree attitude.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Effective character interactions
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Mild conflict resolution
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, social commentary, and character development, creating an engaging and entertaining narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie and Ken entering the real world is innovative and provides a fresh perspective on the characters. The scene effectively explores the contrast between their doll universe and reality.

Plot: 8

The plot of Barbie and Ken navigating the real world is engaging and drives the scene forward. The introduction of conflict and humor adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique situations such as Barbie and Ken's interactions with construction workers and the portrayal of Los Angeles as a strange and amusing place. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Barbie and Ken are well-developed, with distinct personalities that shine through in their interactions. The scene effectively showcases their dynamic and adds depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, Barbie's growing discomfort and realization of the differences between Barbie Land and the Real World hint at potential development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the unfamiliar and uncomfortable situation she finds herself in, feeling ill-at-ease and conscious of the attention she is receiving.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to enjoy their time in Los Angeles and experience the 'real world' outside of Barbie Land.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene introduces a mild conflict through the interactions with the construction workers, adding a layer of tension and humor to the narrative.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Barbie Margot facing discomfort and objectification while navigating the unfamiliar environment of Los Angeles.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on humor and social commentary rather than intense conflict or drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing Barbie and Ken to the real world, setting the stage for further exploration and character development.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions between Barbie and Ken and the construction workers, adding a layer of surprise to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around gender roles, objectification, and societal expectations. Barbie Margot's discomfort with the attention she receives challenges traditional notions of femininity and beauty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, including confusion, amusement, and anxiety, creating a dynamic and engaging experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the comedic elements.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, witty dialogue, and relatable themes of discomfort in unfamiliar situations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor, dialogue, and character development in a way that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and action lines.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a comedic screenplay, with a setup, conflict, and resolution that flow naturally.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and absurd tone established in earlier parts of the screenplay, maintaining a playful atmosphere as Barbie and Ken navigate various modes of transportation. However, the transition between these modes feels somewhat disjointed. While the rapid changes are meant to convey a sense of adventure, they could benefit from smoother transitions or a more cohesive narrative thread that ties these experiences together.
  • Barbie's discomfort with the attention she receives in the Real World is a crucial theme, but it could be explored more deeply. The dialogue hints at her feelings of unease, yet the scene could delve further into her internal conflict. This would enhance the emotional stakes and provide a stronger contrast to Ken's carefree attitude, making their dynamic more compelling.
  • The humor in the scene is effective, particularly in the interactions with the construction workers. However, the punchline about Barbie and Ken lacking genitals feels somewhat forced and could be refined for better comedic timing. The construction workers' reactions are sweet, but they could also be more varied to reflect a broader range of responses to Barbie and Ken's unique situation.
  • The dialogue between Barbie and Ken is playful, but at times it feels repetitive. For instance, both characters express their feelings about the attention they receive, but this could be streamlined to avoid redundancy. Instead, consider having them explore their perspectives in a more nuanced way, perhaps through contrasting anecdotes or observations.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Barbie punching a man who slaps her. While this moment is impactful, it could benefit from a stronger lead-up or a more pronounced emotional arc. This would help the audience understand the significance of her action and its implications for her character development.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Barbie after each mode of transportation, allowing her to express her feelings about the experiences they just had. This would create a more cohesive narrative and deepen her character development.
  • Enhance the comedic elements by varying the construction workers' responses to Barbie and Ken. This could include a mix of supportive, confused, and humorous reactions to their unique situation, adding depth to the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue to avoid redundancy. Instead of repeating similar sentiments, have Barbie and Ken explore their feelings through different lenses, perhaps by referencing past experiences or contrasting their perspectives more vividly.
  • Build up to the punchline of Barbie punching the man by incorporating more tension in the scene. This could involve Barbie's growing discomfort escalating as they encounter more unwanted attention, leading to a more impactful climax.
  • Consider incorporating visual gags or physical comedy during the transitions between modes of transportation to enhance the whimsical tone and keep the audience engaged throughout the scene.



Scene 14 -  Fashionably Unlawful
INT. VENICE CENTRAL BOOKING. DAY

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling’s mug shots.
32.


Then they are being finger printed. Over and over again
because the cops can’t find any prints. The cops drool over
Barbie Margot:

POLICEMAN
I love me a leotard.

POLICEMAN #2
I love the elbow pads.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to Ken)
I think we should get some
different clothes.

EXT. VENICE BEACH STOREFRONT. DAY.

Ken Ryan Gosling exits wearing all denim with fringe and a
cowboy hat, followed by Barbie Margot, who wears a pink
cowgirl outfit. ALL the security lights and bells go, but
they are oblivious.

BARBIE MARGOT
We look great!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(admiring his reflection)
I LOVE FRINGE!

BARBIE MARGOT
I love denim!

A Security Guard rushes after them, panicked.

SECURITY GUARD
Hey! You two! What are you doing?!
You have to pay for those!

They give chase!

INT. VENICE CENTRAL BOOKING. AGAIN. DAY

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan, getting finger printed. The male
cops are still leering.

POLICE MAN #2
She’s even sexier in clothes.

POLICE MAN
I know, because you can imagine
more.

POLICE MAN #2
You know what? Keep ‘em!
33.


BARBIE MARGOT
Goddammit!

EXT. POLICE STATION. DAY

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling emerge into the midday LA
sun, wearing their stolen/gifted clothes.

BARBIE MARGOT
Weird Barbie said I’d know how to
find this girl, but I have NO IDEA.
(takes a deep breath)
What would a smart Barbie do? I
just need to clear my mind so I can
think.

Barbie sits down on a bench, almost like she’s meditating.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(annoyed)
I hate it when people think. I’m so
bored!

BARBIE MARGOT
The faster I figure this out, the
faster we get home.

She closes her eyes. Ken Ryan Gosling gets all antsy like a
kid, unable to sit still.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(lost without her)
What am I supposed to do?!

BARBIE MARGOT
Go for a walk or something!

He makes faces, then goes for a walk.

BARBIE MARGOT
(eyes still closed)
Don’t go far!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Barbie and Ken are processed at Venice Central Booking, where they attract the attention of the male officers. After suggesting they need new clothes, they steal outfits and set off alarms while escaping, leading to a chase by a security guard. Outside, Barbie tries to meditate to clear her mind, while Ken struggles with boredom, highlighting their contrasting personalities amidst the comedic chaos.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Creative concept
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is entertaining, engaging, and well-executed, with a good balance of humor and adventure. The confusion adds an interesting element to the story, keeping the audience intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie and Ken navigating the real world is unique and engaging, offering a fresh perspective on the characters' adventures. The scene effectively explores the clash between their doll world and reality.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging and entertaining, with Barbie and Ken's misadventures driving the story forward. The introduction of the conflict adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience invested.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique situations such as Barbie and Ken's escapades and the interaction with the police. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling are well-developed and their personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue. Their dynamic adds humor and depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot experiences a shift in her perspective as she navigates the real world, leading to moments of growth and self-discovery. Ken Ryan Gosling also shows a willingness to adapt to new situations.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie's internal goal is to figure out how to find a girl mentioned by Weird Barbie. This reflects her desire to solve the mystery and complete the task given to her.

External Goal: 7

Barbie and Ken's external goal is to escape the police after being caught stealing clothes. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is relatively low but serves to drive the story forward and create humorous situations for the characters. It adds a layer of tension and excitement to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' predicament.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on the comedic and adventurous elements rather than high drama or tension. However, the characters' journey still feels engaging and meaningful.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome. It sets the stage for further development and exploration in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of Barbie and Ken, as well as the humorous twists in the plot.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict is between Barbie's focused and determined mindset to solve the mystery, and Ken's impatience and boredom. This challenges Barbie's values of perseverance and problem-solving.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, including amusement, confusion, and empathy for the characters. The comedic elements balance out the more emotional moments, creating a well-rounded impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It adds to the comedic tone of the scene and enhances the audience's connection to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the comedic elements, fast-paced action, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene enhances its effectiveness by maintaining a fast pace during the action sequences and slowing down during character moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a comedic genre, with clear progression and character development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of Barbie and Ken's situation, particularly with the humorous interactions between the characters and the police. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to enhance character development. Barbie's frustration with the police's leering could be expanded to reflect her internal conflict about being objectified, which would add emotional weight to the scene.
  • The pacing feels uneven, particularly in the transition from the police station to the outside. The shift from the mug shots and fingerprinting to the chase scene could be smoother. Consider adding a moment of reflection or a comedic beat that highlights their obliviousness to the chaos around them before they exit the police station.
  • Ken's character is portrayed as somewhat one-dimensional, primarily serving as comic relief. While his enthusiasm for the fringe outfit is amusing, it would be beneficial to explore his feelings about the situation more deeply. This could create a more balanced dynamic between him and Barbie, allowing for moments of vulnerability or insight.
  • The dialogue between the policemen is humorous but could be perceived as reinforcing negative stereotypes about male gaze and objectification. While this is likely intentional, it may alienate some viewers. Consider incorporating a moment where Barbie directly addresses this behavior, which could empower her character and provide a stronger commentary on the situation.
  • The scene ends with Barbie attempting to meditate, which is a nice touch, but it feels abrupt. Expanding on this moment could provide a clearer transition into the next scene. Perhaps include a brief internal monologue or a humorous thought that reflects her confusion and determination, which would enhance the emotional resonance.
Suggestions
  • Add a moment where Barbie expresses her frustration with the police's behavior, allowing her to confront the objectification directly. This could deepen her character and provide a stronger message about self-empowerment.
  • Smooth the transition between the police station and the outside by including a comedic beat or a moment of realization for Barbie and Ken about their situation before they exit.
  • Develop Ken's character further by including a line or two that reveals his thoughts or feelings about the chaos they are in, which would create a more balanced dynamic between him and Barbie.
  • Consider revising the dialogue between the policemen to maintain humor while avoiding reinforcing negative stereotypes. This could involve Barbie making a witty comeback that highlights her awareness of the situation.
  • Expand on Barbie's meditation moment by including a brief internal monologue that reflects her confusion and determination, providing a smoother transition into the next scene.



Scene 15 -  Awakening in Century City
EXT. CENTURY CITY. DAY.

Ken Ryan Gosling walks under a sign for: CENTURY CITY. He
looks up: A tall building looms over him and he starts
putting together the world a little bit. He sees:

- A gym, full of men.

- A man in a mink.

- A policeman on a horse.
34.


- A Hummer, stuffed to the brim with businessmen.

- Generic men in business suits shaking hands having generic
business conversations.

BUSINESSMEN
Great deal. Great deal. We’re all
going to make a lot of money.

A female secretary tries to come up and tell her boss
something, he holds up his hand to stop her:

BUSINESSMEN
In a second, Margaret.
(to his associates)
Shall we all shake on it?

She backs away, submissive, as they all shake madly. Ken Ryan
cannot believe what he’s seeing. Are they more powerful than
she is?? How is this possible?

Ken Ryan Gosling rides an escalator up to a giant video
screen, playing images of Big Man Stuff:

- Money, Presidents, Golf videos, mini-fridges, a bunch of
dudes working out at the gym. Men in sports, men as statues,
men in paintings, important men in photographs, the Greased
Lightening scene from Grease, all culminating in Sylvester
Stallone in a mink coat.

- MEN EVERYWHERE and then just another horse and then MORE
MEN EVERYWHERE!

EXT. POLICE STATION. DAY

Barbie Margot still sitting on the bench, breathes in and
out, and sees:

Glimpses of A Girl, maybe a pigtail, some chipped nail
polish. She’s “Shining” or something like that. But without
the horror!

- The Girl laughing with her Mom, eating ice cream.

- The Girl opening the door saying “Mom, I had a bad dream.”

- The Girl playing Barbies with her Mom - her Mom shows her a
Barbie idea sketch and the girl applauds.

- The Girl is getting older, moving away when her Mom tries
to show affection.

- The Girl plops a box of her Barbies and Barbie accessories
in front of her Mom, clearly marked “Goodwill.”
35.


- The Mom sadly drops her daughter off at school, and when
she tries to wave at her, the Girl pretends not to see her.
It’s junior high. Everyone is their worst self in junior
high.

CLOSE on Barbie Margot, a tear rolls down her face.

Barbie opens her eyes. She wipes the tear from her face. She
looks down at the moisture in her hand. She’s never cried
before.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to herself)
That felt achy... but good.

Barbie Margot looks around - across the street she sees a
park, filled with mundane and beautiful and funny and sad
moments of every day life.

- A young couple with a baby.

- Kids playing tag.

- A teen girl crying and being comforted by another girl.

- Best friends laughing together.

- A middle aged couple walking hand in hand.

- Three friends in an argument.

- An old man feeds the birds.

- Someone reading a book.

- A man with a child.

- Guys kicking a ball around.

- 20-somethings arguing.

- A young man who looks like he’s been crying.

Next to her an Older Woman sits on a bench, reading. Barbie
studies her for a moment.

Barbies don’t get old, so this is something she doesn’t have
experience with. The woman, as if she can feel Barbie’s gaze
on her, looks up. They meet eyes. The Older Woman nods in
greeting.

BARBIE MARGOT
You’re so beautiful.
36.


OLDER WOMAN
(cheeky)
I know it.

They laugh, it’s lovely.

Ken runs up to her, breaking the moment.

KEN RYAN GOSLING (O.S.)
BARBIE!

She turns to him, and he and Barbie excitedly say:

KEN RYAN GOSLING BARBIE MARGOT
I’ve got it! I’ve got it!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
What have you got?

BARBIE MARGOT
You go first.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No you!

BARBIE MARGOT
Let’s go at the same time.

KEN RYAN GOSLING BARBIE MARGOT
Men rule the world! She’s at school!

BARBIE MARGOT
What was that?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
The girl is at school!

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
But what did you ? -- -- Nothing, doesn’t matter,
let’s go to the SCHOOL!

They both run off together, and Barbie sneaks a glance back,
but the old woman is back to reading her newspaper, the
moment has passed.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In a bustling Century City, Ken observes the stark power dynamics among businessmen, particularly witnessing a female secretary being dismissed, which prompts him to question masculinity and authority. Meanwhile, Barbie sits at a police station, reflecting on her past and experiencing emotions for the first time. She shares a warm moment with an older woman before Ken arrives, and they excitedly exchange insights about their lives, highlighting their contrasting experiences with power and emotion. The scene culminates in their joyful departure together, eager to explore their newfound understanding.
Strengths
  • Exploration of Barbie's emotional awakening
  • Satirical commentary on societal norms
  • Engaging character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited exploration of Ken Ryan Gosling's character

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, introspection, and social commentary to create a compelling and thought-provoking moment in Barbie's journey. The exploration of Barbie's emotional awakening and her interaction with the Older Woman add depth and resonance to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie confronting her lack of emotions and self-awareness is innovative and thought-provoking. The scene challenges traditional perceptions of Barbie as a perfect doll and explores deeper themes of identity and personal growth.

Plot: 8

The plot of Barbie discovering her emotions and the existence of the real world is engaging and serves as a significant turning point in her character development. The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and dilemmas for Barbie to navigate.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on gender roles, emotional expression, and societal norms. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Barbie's character undergoes significant growth and introspection in this scene, marking a pivotal moment in her journey. The introduction of the Older Woman adds depth and complexity to Barbie's understanding of herself and the world around her.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie undergoes a significant character change in this scene, transitioning from a perfect doll-like existence to a more self-aware and emotionally complex individual. The scene marks a turning point in Barbie's journey towards personal growth and understanding.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to come to terms with her emotions and experiences, particularly her newfound ability to cry and express vulnerability. This reflects her deeper need for emotional connection and self-acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to find the girl who is at school, indicating a desire to connect with someone from her past and potentially resolve unresolved issues.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While the scene lacks overt external conflict, the internal conflict within Barbie as she grapples with her emotions and the realization of the real world creates tension and intrigue. The conflict is more subtle but emotionally resonant.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming. It adds complexity to the characters' goals and motivations, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not overtly high in this scene, the emotional and existential stakes for Barbie are significant. The scene explores themes of identity, self-discovery, and the passage of time, raising the stakes for Barbie's personal growth and understanding.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, dilemmas, and emotional developments for Barbie. It sets the stage for further exploration of identity, emotions, and the real world, propelling the narrative in a compelling direction.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional depth and social commentary woven into the narrative. The interactions between characters and the resolution of conflicts keep the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The scene presents a philosophical conflict between the superficial, power-driven world of business and the more authentic, emotional world of personal relationships. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about what truly matters in life.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact as Barbie confronts her first experience with tears and self-reflection. The poignant moments of connection with the Older Woman and the exploration of human emotions add depth and resonance to the narrative.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys Barbie's internal struggles and the contrast between her doll-like existence and the real world. The interactions between Barbie, Ken Ryan Gosling, and the Older Woman are engaging and reveal new layers of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotion, and social commentary. The characters and their interactions draw the audience in and create a sense of connection.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution. The rhythm of the dialogue and narrative descriptions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue. It enhances the readability and flow of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external goals. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts Ken's initial observations of the male-dominated world with Barbie's emotional awakening, creating a poignant moment that highlights gender dynamics. However, the transition between Ken's perspective and Barbie's introspection could be smoother to maintain narrative flow.
  • The juxtaposition of Ken's experiences with the businessmen and Barbie's reflections on the girl’s life is powerful, but the pacing feels uneven. The scene shifts quickly from Ken's observations to Barbie's emotional moment, which may confuse the audience. A more gradual transition could enhance clarity.
  • Barbie's emotional response is a significant moment, marking her first experience with sadness. However, the dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of simply stating 'That felt achy... but good,' consider a more nuanced expression of her feelings that captures the complexity of her newfound emotions.
  • The older woman's interaction with Barbie adds a nice touch of humor and warmth, but it feels somewhat abrupt. Expanding on this moment could deepen the connection between the characters and provide more insight into Barbie's evolving understanding of beauty and aging.
  • The dialogue exchange between Ken and Barbie at the end is playful but lacks depth. While it serves to show their excitement, it could benefit from a more meaningful revelation or insight that ties back to the themes of identity and empowerment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Ken reflects on his observations before transitioning to Barbie's emotional experience. This could help create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance Barbie's emotional dialogue to reflect the complexity of her feelings. For example, she could articulate her confusion and newfound awareness more vividly, allowing the audience to connect with her journey.
  • Expand the interaction with the older woman to explore themes of aging and beauty further. Perhaps Barbie could ask her about her life, leading to a deeper conversation that enriches Barbie's understanding.
  • Incorporate a visual motif or recurring element that symbolizes Barbie's emotional growth throughout the scene, such as the park's activities reflecting the spectrum of human experiences.
  • Revise the final dialogue exchange between Ken and Barbie to include a moment of realization or insight that ties back to their individual journeys, reinforcing the themes of empowerment and identity.



Scene 16 -  Doll Escape: A Corporate Crisis
EXT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. DAY.

An imposing, many floored building. Masculine. STRONG.

A phone is ringing from somewhere. We BOOM DOWN from the top
floor ALL THE WAY DOWN --
37.


INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS LOWEST FLOOR. DAY.

An endless forest of cubicles.

MATTEL EMPLOYEE
Hello?

Split screen with:

INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS. DAY.

Men in those aviators for no reason, pictures on cork boards.

DAN AT THE FBI
This is Dan at the FBI.

MATTEL EMPLOYEE
This is Aaron at Mattel.

DAN AT THE FBI
I don’t give a flying squirrel who
you are Aaron! What are you, like
an intern?

AARON DINKINS DAN AT THE FBI
I mean, not really an-- Two of your dolls have gotten
loose!

AARON DINKINS
Impossible. How do you know?

DAN AT THE FBI
Don’t sass me Aaron! Couple of
blondes answering to Barbie and Ken
rollerblading in Santa Monica.
Claim to have no genitals.

AARON DINKINS
Genital-less?

DAN AT THE FBI
We’re going to need Mattel’s help
landing the eagle. Don’t crap the
bed, Aaron!

AARON DINKINS
(concerned)
I won’t.

Sweating bullets, he hangs up the phone.

AARON DINKINS
This is bad. This is really bad.
38.


Another younger employee peers over the top of his cubicle:

YOUNGER MATTEL EMPLOYEE
What?!

AARON DINKINS
This happened once before.

Popping up from ANOTHER cubicle, three cubicles away:

AN EVEN YOUNGER MATTEL EMPLOYEE
What?! When?!

AARON DINKINS
About ten years ago a woman named
Skipper turned up in Key West at
some family’s home and asked to
babysit the kids... She then tried
to take their toddler surfing. We
were able to straighten it out and
keep it under wraps.
(grave)
But this is serious.

AARON DINKINS
I’m going all the way up.

YOUNGER MATTEL EMPLOYEE
No one goes all the way up! You may
never come back!

AARON DINKINS
I know.
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Action"]

Summary At Mattel Headquarters, employee Aaron Dinkins receives a frantic call from FBI agent Dan about Barbie and Ken escaping and rollerblading in Santa Monica. Initially skeptical, Aaron recalls a past incident with another doll and feels compelled to escalate the situation to higher management, despite warnings from his colleagues. The scene blends tension and comedy as the absurdity of runaway dolls creates a sense of urgency within the corporate environment.
Strengths
  • Engaging concept
  • Strong character interactions
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too over-the-top for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, suspense, and a touch of seriousness to create an engaging and entertaining narrative. The concept of dolls causing trouble in the real world is intriguing and well-executed.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of dolls coming to life and causing chaos in the real world is unique and engaging. It adds a layer of humor and adventure to the story, making it stand out.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is well-developed, with a clear conflict, rising action, and resolution. It moves the story forward while introducing new challenges for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of dolls coming to life and causing chaos. The dialogue is witty and unique, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and reactions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their interactions. The dynamic between Barbie and Ken adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience invested.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience growth and development throughout the scene, particularly in their interactions with each other and their reactions to the escalating situation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to handle a serious situation involving dolls that have gone missing. This reflects his desire to maintain the reputation and integrity of the company, as well as his fear of the potential consequences of the situation.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to work with the FBI to resolve the issue of the missing dolls. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the need to collaborate with external agencies to solve the problem.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is well-established and drives the narrative forward. The tension between the characters and the high stakes keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a challenging situation and conflicting priorities. The audience is left wondering how he will overcome the obstacles.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the consequences of their actions and must navigate a challenging situation. The outcome has significant implications for the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, escalating the conflict, and setting up future events. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unusual premise of dolls coming to life and causing chaos. The unexpected twists and turns keep the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between maintaining corporate reputation and dealing with a potentially embarrassing situation. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of image and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including humor, suspense, and a touch of seriousness. The characters' reactions add depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and helps to drive the scene forward. It captures the personalities of the characters and adds humor to the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists. The audience is drawn into the escalating situation and the characters' reactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and character interactions. It keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of urgency.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations and character interactions. It maintains a good pace and rhythm, keeping the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of urgency and absurdity with the juxtaposition of the FBI's serious tone against the ridiculousness of dolls rollerblading and claiming to have no genitals. This contrast is humorous and sets the tone for the absurdity of the situation, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional anchor to connect the audience with the stakes involved.
  • Aaron Dinkins is introduced as a character who is clearly in over his head, which is a relatable and comedic trait. However, his character could be fleshed out further to create a more engaging protagonist. Adding a personal stake or a backstory could enhance the audience's investment in his journey.
  • The dialogue is snappy and captures the comedic tone well, but it occasionally feels rushed. Allowing for more pauses or reactions could enhance the comedic timing and give the audience a moment to absorb the absurdity of the situation.
  • The split-screen technique is visually interesting but may distract from the narrative flow. It could be more effective if used sparingly or if it visually emphasized the contrast between the two locations more dramatically.
  • The scene introduces a subplot about a previous incident with Skipper, which adds depth to the world-building. However, this backstory could be integrated more smoothly into the dialogue to avoid feeling like an exposition dump. A more natural way to reveal this information would enhance the pacing.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving Aaron Dinkins a more defined character arc or personal stakes in the situation to make his journey more compelling. Perhaps he has a personal connection to Barbie or a fear of failure that drives him.
  • Enhance the comedic timing by incorporating more pauses or reactions from Aaron and the younger employees. This will allow the humor to land more effectively and give the audience time to react.
  • Use the split-screen technique to emphasize key moments or reactions rather than throughout the entire scene. This will help maintain focus on the dialogue and the absurdity of the situation.
  • Integrate the backstory about Skipper more naturally into the dialogue. For example, Aaron could reference it in a way that feels organic to the conversation, perhaps as a humorous anecdote that highlights his experience.
  • Consider adding a visual gag or physical comedy element to Aaron's character, such as him fumbling with paperwork or struggling to maintain composure, to enhance the comedic aspect of the scene.



Scene 17 -  Determined Disregard
INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. ELEVATOR.

He takes a deep breath and steps into the elevator. Floors
tick by 99, 100, 101. Walks briskly down a huge hallway.

INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. BOARDROOM RECEPTION.

CLOSE on some sketches of Barbie. But these Barbies look
distressed, mascara running down her cheeks from crying. She
wears the identical clothes to Barbie Margot.

A woman, Gloria, sits at a reception desk. She’s in her late
30s, but has something of the kid in her, a pair of pink
shoes? We love her! She is drawing the sketch.

Gloria has an old Barbie on her desk which resembles Barbie
Margot. And next to that a photo of her daughter. She’s
singing “Closer to Fine” to herself.
39.


Aaron stops at the desk. Gloria is so lost in her drawing she
doesn’t see him. He clears his throat.

AARON DINKINS
Um... Gloria.

He snaps his fingers. She shakes her head and looks at him.

GLORIA
Oh, hi, Aaron.

AARON DINKINS
(re: her sketch)
New designs?

GLORIA
Yeah, for some reason I just
started drawing her. I don’t know
why.

She hands them to him.

GLORIA
It’s Crippling Shame Barbie,
Irrepressible Thoughts of Death
Barbie, Full Body Cellulite Barbie.

AARON DINKINS
Yeah, OK.
(getting to the point)
I have to talk to the top brass.

RECEPTIONIST/GLORIA
They’re in a big corporate ideas
sesh. No one is to be admitted--

But Aaron is walking toward the door.

RECEPTIONIST/GLORIA
(stage whisper)
AARON stop it!...
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In the Mattel headquarters, Aaron Dinkins arrives and encounters Gloria, a whimsical receptionist sketching distressed Barbies. Despite her playful warnings about an ongoing executive meeting, Aaron is determined to speak with the top brass and chooses to ignore her advice, walking towards the boardroom door.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Unique concept
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited presence of Barbie Margot
  • Potential lack of immediate conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor and introspection, setting up a unique and engaging premise for Barbie Margot's journey into the Real World. The dialogue and character interactions are well-crafted, creating a compelling mix of tones.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Margot seeking help from Mattel Headquarters after experiencing unusual events is intriguing and sets up a unique storyline. The introduction of Crippling Shame Barbie and other variations adds depth to the Barbie universe and hints at deeper themes to be explored.

Plot: 8

The plot of Barbie Margot seeking assistance from Mattel Headquarters adds a new layer to the story, introducing potential obstacles and challenges for the character. The scene moves the narrative forward by setting up the next phase of Barbie Margot's journey.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces unique and unexpected elements such as the distressed Barbie sketches and Gloria's creative process. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Aaron and Gloria are well-developed in this scene, with distinct personalities and engaging interactions. Barbie Margot's absence in this particular scene allows for a focus on the supporting characters, adding depth to the overall story.

Character Changes: 7

While Barbie Margot is not present in this scene, the interactions between Aaron and Gloria hint at potential character growth and development in future episodes. The scene sets the stage for changes and challenges to come.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to gain access to the top brass at Mattel. This reflects his desire to achieve success in his career and make a significant impact within the company.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to talk to the top brass at Mattel. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in navigating the corporate environment and gaining access to decision-makers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a sense of conflict in Barbie Margot's strange experiences and the need to seek help, the scene focuses more on setting up the premise for future conflicts rather than immediate tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge the protagonist's goals.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in this scene, with Barbie Margot facing unusual experiences and seeking assistance, but the immediate consequences are not life-threatening. The scene sets up higher stakes for future episodes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new elements, setting up conflicts, and hinting at future developments. The premise of Barbie Margot seeking help from Mattel Headquarters adds depth and intrigue to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected elements like the distressed Barbie sketches and Gloria's creative process.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between creativity and corporate bureaucracy. Gloria's creative sketches of Barbie dolls contrast with the rigid corporate structure that restricts access to the top brass.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including curiosity, frustration, and humor. The interactions between the characters and the setup for Barbie Margot's journey add depth and emotional resonance to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, engaging, and reflective of the characters' personalities. The banter between Aaron and Gloria adds humor and depth to the interaction, setting the tone for future developments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, quirky characters, and the protagonist's clear goal.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively introduces Gloria, providing a glimpse into her character through her sketches and singing, which adds depth and relatability. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic to better reflect the urgency of Aaron's situation. Gloria's casual demeanor contrasts sharply with the tension of Aaron's mission, which may dilute the stakes of the scene.
  • The sketches of distressed Barbies serve as a clever visual metaphor for the themes of shame and identity, but the names given to the Barbies (e.g., 'Crippling Shame Barbie') could be more creatively integrated into the dialogue. They feel somewhat on-the-nose and could benefit from a more subtle approach that allows the audience to infer their meanings.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. While the initial setup with Aaron entering the building is brisk, the interaction with Gloria slows down the momentum. This could be improved by tightening the dialogue and ensuring that every line serves to advance the plot or develop character.
  • The use of a 'stage whisper' from Gloria feels a bit theatrical and may not translate well on screen. It could be more effective if she expressed her concern in a way that feels more natural and less scripted, perhaps through body language or a more subdued tone.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Aaron ignoring Gloria's warning. While this creates tension, it may leave the audience wanting more context about the stakes involved. A brief moment of hesitation or internal conflict from Aaron could enhance the emotional weight of his decision.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Gloria's dialogue to include more playful banter that reflects her personality while also maintaining the urgency of Aaron's mission. This could create a more engaging dynamic between the characters.
  • Instead of explicitly naming the Barbies in a humorous way, consider having Gloria describe their emotional states or struggles in a more nuanced manner, allowing the audience to draw connections to the themes without being directly told.
  • To improve pacing, streamline the dialogue between Aaron and Gloria. Focus on key lines that reveal character and advance the plot, cutting any unnecessary exchanges that don't serve these purposes.
  • Replace the 'stage whisper' with a more subtle expression of concern from Gloria, such as a worried glance or a more hushed tone that feels organic to the situation, enhancing the realism of the scene.
  • Add a moment of internal conflict for Aaron before he decides to ignore Gloria's warning. This could be a brief flash of doubt or a reflection on the consequences of his actions, which would deepen his character and heighten the stakes.



Scene 18 -  The Barbie Crisis
INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. BOARDROOM

He opens a door to a giant PINK GLITTERY board room. It’s
like the inside of a 5 year old girl’s sparkly heart.

MATTEL CEO
(true believer)
Always be empowering girls! Always!
What do we really sell? We sell
dreams! Imagination! And sparkle!
When you think of sparkle, what do
you think after that?
40.


He doesn’t wait for an answer, already so pumped to say:

MATTEL CEO
Female agency.

AARON DINKINS
Um... excuse me...

A table of men turns around all at once. They’re all wearing
suits but it somehow feels like tuxedos.

MATTEL CEO
Who are you?

AARON DINKINS
Aaron Dinkins, sir.

MATTEL CEO
We’re in the middle of a major sit-
down here, Aaron Dinkins.

AARON DINKINS
But, I think you’re going to want
to hear this, sir.

MATTEL CEO
Can you just email it? And you can
send it to me EOD
(proud)
End of day.

AARON DINKINS
May I put it in a whisper, sir?

MATTEL CEO
Ugh, fine, whisper me.

Aaron Dinkins leans in and whispers something to the Mattel
Executive #1. He’s ashen. He turns and whispers to the man
next to him and each man in turn reacts and whispers to the
man next to him. Finally, the CEO listens with shock:

MATTEL CEO
My god it’s a repeat of Skipper in
Key West.

AARON DINKINS
And with all due respect, that was
Skipper, sir. This is...
(dramatically)
Barbie.

They all react. The Mattel CEO stands up, dramatically.
41.


MATTEL CEO
If this got out, that our dolls
were coming to Los Angeles from
Barbie Land as life-size versions
of themselves and roaming the earth
it would be very bad...
(lame finish)
... for business.

CUT TO: Gloria listens outside the conference room doors. She
shakes her head, doing some insane calculation.

GLORIA
(to herself)
Barbie? In the real world?
(thinks)
No, that’s impossible.
(thinks again)
Right?

We CUT BACK inside the BOARD ROOM:

MATTEL EXECUTIVE #2
We’ve got a definite situation on
our hands.

MATTEL CEO
Catastrophic! I can’t stress that
enough! What’s your name again?

AARON DINKINS
Uh, Aaron Dinkins Sir

MATTEL CEO
Aaron Dickinson?

AARON DINKINS
Dinkins. Um, is Barbie Land like an
alternate reality or like our
imaginations come to life or...?

ALL OF THE EXECUTIVES
Yes.

MATTEL CEO
Think of it as a town in Sweden,
Aaron Dinkins.
(sizing him up)
How much do you weigh? Never mind.
This sounds like a job for the box.

ALL OF THE EXECUTIVES
Yes sir.
42.


MATTEL CEO
No one rests until this doll is
back in a box!
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In a vibrant boardroom at Mattel, CEO passionately discusses empowering girls when Aaron Dinkins interrupts with an urgent whisper about Barbie potentially coming to life. The revelation shocks the executives, prompting the CEO to express alarm over the implications for the company. Outside, Gloria grapples with the absurdity of the situation. The executives decide they must act quickly to contain the crisis, with the CEO insisting that no one rests until Barbie is back in a box.
Strengths
  • Whimsical and satirical tone
  • Unique concept of life-size dolls escaping into the real world
  • Engaging and humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for the scene to become too chaotic with the introduction of multiple characters and subplots

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining with its whimsical and satirical elements, providing a unique and humorous take on the Barbie universe. The introduction of life-size dolls escaping into the real world adds an intriguing twist to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of life-size dolls escaping into the real world and the ensuing panic at Mattel Headquarters is innovative and engaging. It adds a fresh and unexpected twist to the story, keeping the audience intrigued.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the high-stakes situation of the dolls escaping and the Mattel executives trying to contain the situation. It moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up potential future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of Barbie dolls coming to life, blending elements of fantasy and corporate intrigue in a humorous and imaginative way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Barbie and the Mattel executives, are well-defined and their reactions to the escalating situation are entertaining. The distinct personalities and reactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of the dolls into the real world sets the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to address a potential crisis involving Barbie dolls coming to life-size versions of themselves and roaming the earth. This reflects his desire to protect the company's reputation and business interests.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to contain the situation and ensure that the dolls are returned to their boxes to prevent a potential scandal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high due to the dolls escaping and the panic at Mattel Headquarters. The escalating situation creates tension and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a challenging situation that threatens the company's reputation and requires quick thinking and action.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the dolls escaping into the real world could have serious consequences for both Barbie Land and the real world. The urgency and panic at Mattel Headquarters heighten the stakes.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up potential future developments with the dolls in the real world. It adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twist of Barbie dolls coming to life and the characters' reactions to the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of fantasy and reality colliding, challenging the protagonist's beliefs about the boundaries between imagination and the real world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions from humor to concern to shock, adding depth to the overall experience. The emotional impact enhances the audience's engagement with the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the humor and panic of the situation. It adds to the whimsical tone of the scene and enhances the interactions between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, suspense, and fantastical elements, keeping the audience intrigued and entertained.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a mix of fast-paced dialogue and slower moments of contemplation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a comedic corporate setting, with clear character introductions, escalating conflict, and a cliffhanger ending.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the corporate environment at Mattel, particularly through the exaggerated enthusiasm of the CEO. This sets a comedic tone that aligns well with the overall theme of the screenplay, which critiques societal norms and expectations.
  • The dialogue is snappy and reflects the characters' personalities well, especially the CEO's over-the-top enthusiasm contrasted with Aaron's urgency. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, the CEO's line about 'sparkle' could be more concise to maintain the pacing.
  • The reactions of the executives to Aaron's whisper create a humorous visual, but the transition from their shock to the CEO's dramatic response could be smoother. The pacing feels slightly rushed, which may detract from the comedic timing.
  • Gloria's reaction outside the boardroom adds a layer of intrigue and connects her character to the main plot. However, her internal dialogue could be more dynamic to enhance her emotional journey and the stakes of the situation.
  • The scene ends on a strong note with the CEO's declaration about the urgency of the situation, but it could benefit from a more explicit connection to the overarching narrative. For example, a line that hints at the consequences of Barbie's actions in the real world could heighten the tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the CEO's dialogue to enhance comedic timing and clarity. For example, instead of 'When you think of sparkle, what do you think after that?' you could simplify it to 'What comes after sparkle?'
  • Add a moment of pause or a beat after the executives react to Aaron's whisper to allow the audience to absorb the humor of their shock before the CEO responds dramatically.
  • Enhance Gloria's internal dialogue by incorporating more vivid imagery or emotional stakes that reflect her connection to Barbie, making her reaction more impactful.
  • Include a line or two that foreshadows the consequences of Barbie's actions in the real world, which could serve to heighten the stakes and connect this scene more directly to the overall narrative.
  • Consider using more physical comedy or visual gags in the boardroom to complement the dialogue, such as the executives' exaggerated reactions or the CEO's dramatic gestures, to enhance the comedic tone.



Scene 19 -  A Clash of Colors at Junior High
EXT. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. AFTERNOON

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling approach the school.
Barbie Margot sticks out even more here, as the kids are all
wearing dark colors trying not to be noticed. You know,
Junior High School.

BARBIE MARGOT
(looking up at the sign)
Look! Davey Crocket Junior High
School! Just like I saw in my
vision.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
A man on a horse!

BARBIE MARGOT
We better find her soon, I’ve
started to get all these weirdo
FEELINGS. Ugh. Like I have fear
with no specific object, what’s
that?

MOM
(passing by)
Anxiety. I have it too.
(re: the kids)
They’re just awful at this age.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I feel amazing.

MOM
That’s because kids don’t take it
out on Dads.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Cool!

Kids are running everywhere. Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan
Gosling try to not look sketchy.

BARBIE MARGOT
She’s got to be here somewhere.

They pass the library and Ken says, kind of suspiciously:
43.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
Hey, I’m just going to pop into to
the library and see if I can find
any books on trucks...

BARBIE MARGOT
Okay, but don’t get in trouble!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I won’t!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling arrive at Davey Crocket Junior High School, where the dark-clad students contrast sharply with Barbie's bright demeanor. Barbie feels an urgent need to find someone and expresses her anxiety, which a passing mom recognizes. Meanwhile, Ken remains carefree and decides to explore the library for truck books, highlighting the difference in their reactions to the chaotic environment. The scene captures the mix of lightheartedness and underlying anxiety typical of junior high, ending with Ken entering the library while Barbie continues her search.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Humorous moments
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple characters introduced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, adventure, and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and entertained. The interactions between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling are entertaining, and the setting of a junior high school adds a unique and relatable element to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling searching for a mysterious girl in a junior high school is intriguing and adds a new layer to the story. The scene introduces a fresh setting and potential conflicts that drive the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging, with Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling embarking on a mission to find the mysterious girl. The introduction of the junior high school setting adds depth to the story and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique situation of Barbie Margot searching for someone in a Junior High School setting, with fresh dialogue and character dynamics. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling are well-developed characters with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions in the scene showcase their dynamic and set the stage for further character growth.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling experience subtle changes in their perspectives and behaviors as they navigate the junior high school setting and search for the mysterious girl. These changes set the stage for further character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to find someone she is looking for, as indicated by her statement 'She's got to be here somewhere.' This reflects her desire for connection and possibly a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to locate the person she is searching for. This goal reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in the school environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is moderate, with elements of tension and suspense as Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling search for the mysterious girl. The junior high school setting adds a layer of complexity to the conflict.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with some obstacles for Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling to navigate in the school environment.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are moderate, with Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling facing challenges and obstacles as they search for the mysterious girl in a junior high school setting. The outcome of their mission has implications for the overall story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new setting, establishing character objectives, and setting up potential conflicts. The search for the mysterious girl adds depth to the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between characters and the mystery surrounding Barbie Margot's search.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in the scene between Barbie Margot's sense of purpose and connection, and the general awkwardness and insecurity of adolescence portrayed by the other characters.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, tension, and curiosity that engage the audience. The interactions between characters evoke a range of emotions and set the stage for future developments.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, with a good mix of humor, tension, and character development. The interactions between Barbie Margot, Ken Ryan Gosling, and other characters add depth to the story and drive the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, character dynamics, and the sense of mystery surrounding Barbie Margot's search.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue and action, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper formatting of dialogue and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear scene direction and character interactions that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts Barbie Margot's vibrant personality with the darker, more subdued atmosphere of the junior high school, which helps to visually establish her sense of alienation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to enhance the emotional stakes of Barbie's journey. Currently, the exchanges feel somewhat superficial and could be expanded to better reflect Barbie's internal conflict and the weight of her mission.
  • The introduction of the 'MOM' character adds a layer of realism and relatability, but her line about anxiety feels a bit too on-the-nose. It might be more impactful if her dialogue were more subtle or humorous, allowing the audience to infer the connection to Barbie's feelings without explicitly stating it.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's character is portrayed as carefree and somewhat oblivious, which works well for comedic relief. However, this could also serve to highlight Barbie's struggles more effectively if he were given moments of genuine concern or curiosity about her feelings. This would create a more dynamic relationship between the two characters.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from Barbie's urgency to Ken's casual interest in the library. This could be improved by allowing for a moment of tension or hesitation before they split up, emphasizing the stakes of their mission and Barbie's emotional state.
  • The dialogue lacks a strong sense of urgency that would match the stakes of Barbie's quest. While the comedic elements are enjoyable, they could be balanced with more serious undertones to reflect the gravity of Barbie's situation and her emotional turmoil.
Suggestions
  • Consider deepening Barbie's internal conflict by incorporating more introspective dialogue or thoughts that reveal her fears and anxieties about her mission. This could help the audience connect with her on a more emotional level.
  • Revise the 'MOM' character's dialogue to be more nuanced or humorous, allowing her to convey the message about anxiety without explicitly naming it. This could enhance the scene's subtlety and depth.
  • Explore Ken's character further by giving him moments of genuine concern for Barbie's well-being. This could create a more balanced dynamic between the two and highlight the contrast between their emotional states.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene by adding a moment of tension or hesitation before Barbie and Ken split up. This could heighten the stakes and emphasize Barbie's urgency in finding the girl.
  • Infuse the dialogue with a stronger sense of urgency, perhaps by having Barbie express her fears more explicitly or by incorporating a time constraint that adds pressure to their mission.



Scene 20 -  A Harsh Reality Check
EXT. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. CAFETERIA

Barbie scans all the different girls’ faces and then BAM -
like Roy Scheider in “JAWS” seeing that kid getting eaten -
she sees her Girl, the one from her vision!

Her Girl is sitting in a VERY prominent table with a group of
other pretty 13 year old girls. She’s clearly popular. They
all have Hydroflasks, big t-shirts, scrunchies, Mario Badescu
Or whatever kids are into after this pandemic!

She begins to walk towards the girl but is interrupted by:

OTHER GIRL
What are you doing?

Indicating the one she thinks is HER girl:

BARBIE MARGOT
What’s that girl’s name?

OTHER GIRL
(reverence)
That’s Sasha.

BARBIE MARGOT
(calling out)
Hey Sasha!

OTHER GIRL
(panicking)
NO DON’T TALK TO HER! Sasha can
talk to you but you can never talk
to Sasha. She’ll crush you.

BARBIE MARGOT
Don’t worry - everyone likes me and
thinks I’m cool and pretty.

OTHER GIRL
(staring at her)
Huh.
44.


BARBIE MARGOT
Thank you!

And then she goes up to talk to Sasha, and all these 13-year-
old queen bees turn to look at her. NOTE: this is the
opposite of what Barbie (and we!) think will happen.

BARBIE MARGOT
Hey ladies! Sasha, what’s up?

Sasha and her friends stare at Barbie Margot, stunned:

SASHA
(if looks could kill...)
Who are you?

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m only your favorite woman of all
time - Barbie!

SASHA
You really think you’re Barbie?!

BARBIE MARGOT
Well yeah!

They burst out with lots of mean laughter, unable to stop.

POPULAR GIRL #1 POPULAR GIRL #2
Omg she’s crazy. Do you think she’s escaped
from an insane asylum?

POPULAR GIRL #3 POPULAR GIRL #2
So do you think you’re like Tell us more about how you
pretty? think you’re Barbie.

SASHA
Okay, so you’re like BARBIE Barbie.
Like a professional bimbo?

BARBIE MARGOT
No way! Barbie’s not a bimbo!
Barbie’s a lawyer. And a doctor.
And a senator. And a Nobel Prize
winner.

POPULAR GIRL #1
You’re a Nobel Prize winner?

BARBIE MARGOT
(slightly defensive)
Well, not me. But Barbie is.

They all laugh in her face, again. Barbie is confused:
45.


BARBIE MARGOT
Don’t you guys - I mean aren’t you
guys going to thank me and give me
a big hug? For being your FAVORITE
toy?

SASHA
We haven’t played with Barbies
since we were like 5 years old.

POPULAR GIRL #2
Yeah. I hated dolls with hair.

POPULAR GIRL #1
I played with Barbie but it was the
last resort.

POPULAR GIRL #3
I loved Barbie...

They give that girl a look.

SASHA
Anyways. Even then it was horrible
for us.

BARBIE MARGOT
Horrible? Why?

Her friends egg her on, they know that Sasha can totally
flatten someone.

POPULAR GIRL #2 POPULAR GIRL #1
Come, on Sasha. Give it to her.

POPULAR GIRL #3
Destroy Barbie.

SASHA
Ok, Barbie, let’s do this.

Sasha’s verbal jabs are like a boxer relentlessly landing
punches in a ring, maybe we even shoot it like Raging Bull.
She is clearly so smart and so articulate that you can’t help
but admire her.

SASHA
You’ve been making women feel bad
about themselves since you were
invented.

BARBIE MARGOT
No, I think you have that the wrong
way around.
46.


SASHA
You represent everything wrong with
our culture: sexualized capitalism,
unrealistic physical ideals.

BARBIE MARGOT
Whoa hang on you’re describing
something stereotypical. Barbie is
so much more than that.

SASHA
Look at yourself!

BARBIE MARGOT
(she has a point)
Well, I am, actually, Stereotypical
Barbie.

SASHA
You set the feminist movement back
fifty years, you destroy girls’
innate sense of worth and you’re
killing the planet with your
glorification of rampant
consumerism.

BARBIE MARGOT
But, but I’m supposed to help you
and make you happy and powerful -

SASHA
- I am powerful and until you
showed up here and declared
yourself “Barbie”, I hadn’t thought
about you in years, you FASCIST.

Barbie bursts into tears and runs away. The Other Girl
watches Barbie run, and just shakes her head.

THE OTHER GIRL
They never listen.

We stay with Sasha for a moment, who suddenly feels bad.
Under all the bravado is a lot of feeling.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In a junior high school cafeteria, Barbie confidently approaches Sasha, a popular girl from her vision, despite warnings about Sasha's reputation. However, Sasha and her friends quickly mock Barbie, criticizing her association with the Barbie brand and its negative impact on women's self-esteem. This verbal assault leads to Barbie's emotional breakdown, culminating in her running away in tears, while an observing girl shakes her head at the situation.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential for stereotypical portrayal of teenage girls

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, criticism, and emotion to create a compelling and thought-provoking confrontation that challenges Barbie Margot's perception of herself and societal norms.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie Margot confronting societal critiques and her own identity through a conversation with teenage girls is innovative and engaging. It adds depth to the character and explores relevant themes of self-image and societal expectations.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Barbie Margot's attempt to connect with her 'Girl' and the subsequent confrontation with Sasha and her friends. It moves the story forward by challenging Barbie Margot's perception of herself and setting up potential character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the concept of Barbie, exploring the character's impact on societal norms and individual self-perception. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, especially Barbie Margot and Sasha, are well-defined and engaging. Their contrasting personalities and motivations drive the conflict and provide insight into their respective worldviews.

Character Changes: 9

Barbie Margot undergoes a subtle but significant change in the scene, as she is forced to confront the criticisms and challenges to her identity presented by Sasha and her friends. This confrontation sets the stage for potential character growth and self-reflection.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to be accepted and admired by her peers, reflecting her deeper need for validation and belonging.

External Goal: 7.5

Barbie Margot's external goal is to approach Sasha and her friends to establish a connection and possibly befriend them, reflecting the immediate challenge of navigating social dynamics and gaining acceptance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is high, as Barbie Margot faces harsh critiques from Sasha and her friends, leading to a confrontational and emotionally charged exchange.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Sasha challenging Barbie Margot's perception of herself and forcing her to confront uncomfortable truths about societal expectations and personal identity.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are high for Barbie Margot, as she is confronted with harsh criticisms and challenges to her identity by Sasha and her friends, forcing her to reevaluate her self-image and societal impact.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict and character development, as Barbie Margot's encounter with Sasha and her friends challenges her perception of herself and sets up potential narrative arcs.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because it subverts expectations, challenges stereotypes, and presents a nuanced exploration of complex social issues through the interactions of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between Barbie Margot's idealized perception of herself as Barbie, representing empowerment and positivity, and Sasha's critical view of Barbie as perpetuating negative stereotypes and harmful societal norms.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a significant emotional impact, as Barbie Margot is confronted with harsh realities and societal critiques that challenge her self-perception. The humor and emotion blend to create a memorable and thought-provoking moment.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and confrontational, effectively conveying the tension and humor of the exchange between Barbie Margot and Sasha. It reveals character traits and drives the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between characters, the unexpected twists in the dialogue, and the underlying tension that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, escalating conflicts, and allowing for moments of emotional impact to resonate with the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a high school drama genre, with clear character introductions, rising tension, and a dramatic confrontation that drives the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between Barbie's optimistic self-image and the harsh reality of teenage social dynamics. This juxtaposition creates a strong emotional impact, particularly as Barbie's confidence is met with ridicule. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety; some lines feel overly expository and could be streamlined to enhance the natural flow of conversation.
  • Sasha's character is well-defined as the antagonist, but her critiques of Barbie could be more nuanced. Instead of solely attacking Barbie's legacy, incorporating personal anecdotes or experiences could deepen the emotional stakes and make her arguments more relatable. This would also allow for a more complex interaction, rather than a straightforward confrontation.
  • The pacing of the scene is somewhat uneven. The buildup to Barbie's emotional breakdown is effective, but the transition from playful banter to harsh criticism could be smoother. Consider adding moments of hesitation or internal conflict for Barbie before she breaks down, which would heighten the tension and make her emotional response feel more earned.
  • The use of humor is a strong point in this scene, particularly in the way the popular girls interact with Barbie. However, the humor sometimes undermines the gravity of the situation. Striking a better balance between comedic elements and the serious themes of self-worth and societal expectations would enhance the overall impact.
  • The final moment, where Sasha feels a pang of guilt, is a nice touch, but it could be expanded. Exploring her internal conflict further could add depth to her character and provide a more satisfying resolution to the confrontation. This would also allow the audience to see the complexity of teenage interactions, rather than a clear-cut villain.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising some of the dialogue to make it feel more organic and less expository. Aim for a more natural flow that reflects how teenagers actually speak.
  • Add layers to Sasha's character by incorporating personal experiences or feelings that inform her critiques of Barbie. This will create a more compelling and relatable antagonist.
  • Enhance the pacing by including moments of hesitation or internal conflict for Barbie before her emotional breakdown. This will build tension and make her reaction feel more justified.
  • Balance the humor with the serious themes by ensuring that comedic moments do not overshadow the emotional weight of the scene. This can be achieved by allowing moments of silence or reflection amidst the banter.
  • Expand on Sasha's moment of guilt at the end of the scene. This could involve a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that hints at her complexity, making her a more rounded character.



Scene 21 -  Ken's Misguided Quest for Masculine Success
EXT. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.

MEANWHILE: Ken runs out of the school library with a bunch of
books in his arms - Men & Wars, The Origins of the
Patriarchy, Why Men Rule (Literally) and just one called
Horses. His mind is blown.

A Female Pedestrian stops and asks, casually:
47.


FEMALE PEDESTRIAN
Excuse me, sir, do you have the
time?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(stunned)
You respect me!

FEMALE PEDESTRIAN
Um, do you know what time it is?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No, I do not!

FEMALE PEDESTRIAN
Thank you?

Ken feels like he was just declared king.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Why didn’t Barbie tell me about
Patriarchy? Which, according to my
understanding, is where men and
horses run everything!
(inspired)
I shall seek my fortune there!

QUICK IMPOSSIBLE MONTAGE:

INT. OFFICE BUILDING

Ken Ryan Gosling addresses a businessman.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I want a high level, high paying
job with influence.

OFFICE EMPLOYEE
You need at least an MBA and many
of our people have PhDs.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Isn’t being a man enough???

OFFICE EMPLOYEE
Actually right now it’s the
opposite.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
But that’s not what books say! You
guys certainly aren’t doing
patriarchy well.
48.


OFFICE EMPLOYEE
(winks at Ken)
Oh, we’re doing it well. We just
hide it better now.

INT. DOCTORS OFFICE

We watch Ken also get rejected from a DOCTOR’S OFFICE.

FEMALE DOCTOR
No, I won’t let you do “just one
appendectomy!”

KEN RYAN GOSLING
BUT I’M A MAN!

FEMALE DOCTOR
But not a doctor.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Please?!

FEMALE DOCTOR
No.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Can I talk to a doctor?

FEMALE DOCTOR
You are talking to a doctor.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Can you get me a coffee? And I need
a clicky pen and a white coat and a
sharp thing!
(sees a man)
There he is! Doctor!

EXT. VENICE BEACH

And even from a BEACH. A life-guard listens, perplexed.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I would like to apply for the job
of Beach.

LIFE-GUARD
Oh so you want to be a life guard?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Oh I’m not trained to go over
there.
(points to the water)
(MORE)
49.
KEN RYAN GOSLING (CONT’D)
I’m trained to stand confidently
over here.

He points to the sand at his feet.

LIFE-GUARD
But nobody is in danger here.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(proudly)
And even if they were I’m not
trained to save them.

Ken trudges away, rejected by the life-guard.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I can’t even do BEACH here!

Clutching his books, he returns to the school.
Genres: ["Comedy","Satire"]

Summary Ken, inspired by a brief interaction with a female pedestrian, embarks on a quest to find his place in the world of patriarchy. However, his attempts to secure various jobs—ranging from a corporate position to a lifeguard role—are met with rejection due to his lack of qualifications and understanding. Despite his confidence in his identity as a man, Ken's naivety leads to a series of humorous yet disheartening encounters, ultimately leaving him defeated as he returns to the school clutching his books.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Satirical exploration of patriarchy
  • Absurd situations
Weaknesses
  • Lack of intense conflict
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining and cleverly satirical, offering a fresh perspective on gender dynamics and societal expectations. The humor is well-executed, and the absurd situations Ken finds himself in keep the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring patriarchy through Ken's misadventures is innovative and engaging. It offers a unique perspective on gender roles and societal norms, adding depth to the character and the scene as a whole.

Plot: 8

While the plot primarily focuses on Ken's comedic encounters in different scenarios, it effectively serves the purpose of highlighting the theme of patriarchy and challenging traditional gender roles. The progression of the scene keeps the audience entertained and engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and original take on gender roles and societal expectations. It subverts traditional narratives and challenges the audience's preconceived notions about power and privilege.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Ken's character is well-developed in this scene, showcasing his cluelessness and humorous attempts to navigate patriarchal structures. His interactions with various characters add depth to his personality and contribute to the comedic tone of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Ken undergoes a subtle change in his understanding of patriarchy and societal norms throughout the scene, as he navigates various roles and encounters that challenge his preconceptions. This character development adds depth to his personality and contributes to the humor of the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand and challenge the concept of patriarchy and his place within it. He is seeking validation and respect in a society that values traditional gender roles.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to seek his fortune in a patriarchal society where men and horses run everything. He wants a high-paying job with influence but faces rejection and ridicule at every turn.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

While the scene is more focused on humor and satire than intense conflict, there is a subtle conflict present in Ken's attempts to fit into patriarchal structures and the societal expectations placed upon him. This conflict adds depth to the comedic elements of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing rejection and ridicule at every turn. His struggle to fit into patriarchal norms creates conflict and tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively low in terms of traditional conflict or tension, as the primary focus is on humor and satire. However, the exploration of patriarchy and gender norms adds a layer of importance to Ken's misadventures, making the scene engaging and relevant.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing Ken's comedic misadventures in different settings and interactions. While the primary focus is on humor and satire, the scene contributes to the overall narrative by exploring themes of patriarchy and gender dynamics.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's quest for validation and success. The audience is kept on their toes as he faces rejection and ridicule.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's beliefs about gender roles and societal expectations. He challenges the idea that being a man should automatically grant him power and privilege.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including amusement, confusion, and a sense of absurdity. While the emotional impact is not intense, it effectively enhances the comedic tone and engages the audience in Ken's misadventures.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and humorous, effectively conveying Ken's misunderstandings and the absurdity of the situations he finds himself in. The dialogue enhances the comedic elements of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, wit, and social commentary. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's journey and the absurd situations he encounters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor. The quick montage adds a dynamic element to the narrative, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution. It effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external goals through dialogue and action.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Ken's naive enthusiasm and misunderstanding of patriarchy, which adds a humorous layer to his character. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the underlying message about gender roles and societal expectations. Balancing the comedic elements with a more profound commentary could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The montage format works well to convey Ken's rapid attempts to engage with the world of patriarchy, but it could benefit from clearer transitions between each setting. The abrupt shifts may confuse the audience, making it harder to follow Ken's journey and emotional state.
  • Ken's dialogue is often funny and absurd, but it occasionally lacks depth. While his confusion about patriarchy is amusing, adding moments of introspection or vulnerability could make him more relatable and provide a stronger emotional connection for the audience.
  • The female characters in the scene, particularly the pedestrian and the doctor, serve primarily as obstacles to Ken's ambitions. This could reinforce stereotypes rather than challenge them. Giving these characters more agency or depth could enrich the narrative and provide a more balanced perspective on gender dynamics.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the quick montage could feel rushed. Allowing for a moment of reflection after each rejection could enhance the comedic effect and give the audience time to absorb Ken's growing frustration.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating a moment where Ken reflects on his experiences after each rejection, allowing for comedic pauses that emphasize his confusion and frustration while also deepening his character development.
  • Introduce a female character who challenges Ken's misconceptions in a more engaging way, perhaps by offering him advice or insight that he initially dismisses but later contemplates, adding layers to the dialogue.
  • Enhance the transitions between the montage scenes to create a smoother flow. This could involve visual cues or a recurring motif that ties Ken's experiences together, making his journey feel more cohesive.
  • Explore the emotional stakes for Ken further. Perhaps he has a moment of realization about the implications of patriarchy that adds depth to his character arc, making his journey more meaningful.
  • Consider using a more varied tone in the dialogue to reflect the absurdity of Ken's situation while still allowing for moments of sincerity. This could create a richer emotional landscape for the audience to engage with.



Scene 22 -  Identity Crisis in the Parking Lot
EXT. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL

Barbie Margot is sitting in the parking lot still fully
weeping from her interaction with Sasha.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to herself, baffled)
She thinks I’m a fascist? I don’t
control the railways or the flow of
commerce??

Ken Ryan has arrived back at the school and approaches the
same Female Pedestrian, now with her tween daughter. She’s
not thrilled to see him again.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
There you are, that went terrible.
I need a place where I can start
patriarchy fresh.

Barbie Margot is approached by bunch of CIA or FBI-looking
types - dark suits, mirrored sunglasses, earpieces, but
emblazoned with the Mattel Logo.

MATTEL AGENT
Miss Barbie?

BARBIE MARGOT
(sniffling)
It’s just Barbie.

MATTEL AGENT
You’re going to have to come with
us.
50.


Ken watches from a distance. He freezes.

BARBIE MARGOT
Who are you?

MATTEL AGENT
We’re Mattel.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(to himself)
Mattel!

BARBIE MARGOT
OH THANK GOODNESS! I’ve got to talk
to someone in charge. It’s all
backwards here. Men look at me like
I’m an object, girls hate me,
everyone thinks I’m crazy and I
keep getting arrested.

MATTEL AGENT
Just step this way, ma’am.

BARBIE MARGOT
I also just learned how to cry!
First I got one tear and then I got
a bunch...

She keeps talking as Ken has a little conversation with the
Female Pedestrian.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
What do I do? Should I go after
Barbie into that scary unmarked
black truck car?
(to himself)
A truck car I would like to have
actually...
(back to the pedestrian)
Nah, she’ll be fine, it’s Mattel!
(excited)
I know! I’ll go back to Barbie
Land. Wait until I tell the Kens
what I’ve learned! Oh it’s going to
be beautiful!
(sotto)
Back to Barbie Land!

FEMALE PEDESTRIAN
(walking away)
Let’s go... that way.

Ken hurries off... And Sasha gets into her Mom’s car. It’s
Gloria, the receptionist from Mattel! Now we get it!
51.


GLORIA
Hi Honey Bear!

SASHA
MOM! Don’t call me that!

GLORIA
Shoot, sorry! I got off early
because of a crisis at work. I
thought we could go get soft serve
this afternoon!

Gloria and Sasha see Barbie Margot getting into the van:

SASHA
(unleashes the teen)
Thank god they arrested that nut
job!
(checking herself)
I mean: that reality-challenged
woman. She thinks she’s Barbie--

GLORIA
(can’t believe it)
Wait, what did you say?

CLOSE on Gloria’s face - WHAT?! It’s 1/2 of the “love look”:
she recognizes her. But although Gloria can see Barbie
Margot, Barbie Margot can’t see Gloria.

... as one of the Mattel employees shuts the doors on
Barbie’s friendly face, and looks around all secret-agent-
like as he gets into the passenger seat and they drive off.
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In a school parking lot, Barbie Margot grapples with her identity after a confrontation with Sasha, who perceives her negatively. Ken Ryan Gosling returns, contemplating his role in Barbie Land while Barbie is approached by Mattel agents who insist she must leave. Confused and feeling objectified, Barbie is driven away, leaving Ken to reflect on his insights. Meanwhile, Sasha expresses relief at Barbie's departure, and her mother, Gloria, recognizes Barbie but cannot reach out to her. The scene captures the tension between Barbie's emotional turmoil and the authoritative presence of Mattel.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character development
  • Unique concept
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion for the audience regarding the introduction of Mattel agents

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, adventure, and fantasy elements while introducing a significant plot development with Barbie's arrest. The dialogue and character interactions are engaging, and the scene sets up high stakes for the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie being arrested by agents from Mattel is unique and adds an unexpected twist to the story. It introduces a new layer of conflict and sets up future developments, showcasing the creativity of the screenplay.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging and moves the story forward significantly with Barbie's arrest. It introduces new challenges and obstacles for the characters, setting the stage for further exploration of the Barbie universe and the consequences of Barbie's actions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and original situations, such as Barbie Margot's belief in her identity as Barbie and the satirical portrayal of the Mattel agents. The dialogue and character interactions feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Barbie and Ken, are well-developed and exhibit distinct personalities. Barbie's emotional breakdown and Ken's comedic reactions add depth to their characters and drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, transitioning from confusion and disbelief to a sense of urgency and determination. This change sets up her character arc and motivates her actions in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to find a sense of belonging and understanding in a world that doesn't make sense to her. She is seeking validation and recognition for her identity as Barbie.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to navigate the confusing and surreal situations she finds herself in, such as being approached by the Mattel agents and taken away in a van.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene introduces a high level of conflict with Barbie's arrest by the mysterious Mattel agents. This conflict raises the stakes for the characters and sets up future confrontations and resolutions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. It adds complexity to the characters' motivations and actions.

High Stakes: 9

The scene establishes high stakes with Barbie's arrest by the Mattel agents, adding tension and urgency to the story. The consequences of Barbie's actions and the involvement of a powerful corporation raise the stakes for the characters and the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward with Barbie's arrest and the introduction of the Mattel agents. It sets up new challenges and obstacles for the characters, propelling the narrative towards future resolutions and revelations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the plot, such as Barbie Margot's encounter with the Mattel agents and the revelation of Gloria's identity.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around identity, perception, and reality. Barbie Margot's belief in her identity clashes with how others perceive her, leading to misunderstandings and comedic situations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, particularly through Barbie's emotional breakdown and the tension of her arrest. It elicits feelings of empathy and concern for the characters, setting up emotional arcs for future developments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations, adding to the overall tone and atmosphere of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, satire, and character dynamics. The absurd situations and witty dialogue keep the audience entertained and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and character development. It maintains a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct character actions and dialogue. It adheres to the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that blends humor, satire, and character development effectively. It maintains the audience's interest and advances the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Barbie Margot's emotional turmoil after her confrontation with Sasha, showcasing her confusion and vulnerability. However, the dialogue could be more impactful if it included a clearer expression of her feelings about being misunderstood and objectified, which would deepen the audience's empathy for her character.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's subplot about seeking a fresh start in patriarchy feels somewhat disconnected from Barbie's emotional arc. While it adds comedic relief, it might benefit from a stronger thematic connection to Barbie's struggles, perhaps by having Ken reflect on how his newfound understanding of patriarchy affects his view of Barbie's situation.
  • The introduction of the Mattel agents adds an element of urgency and intrigue, but their dialogue lacks a sense of menace or authority that would make Barbie's situation feel more dire. Strengthening their presence could enhance the tension and stakes of the scene.
  • The transition from Barbie's emotional breakdown to the arrival of the Mattel agents feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the emotional flow of the scene, perhaps by having Barbie's emotional state escalate just before the agents arrive, making her feel even more trapped.
  • The reveal that Gloria is Sasha's mother is a clever twist, but it could be foreshadowed earlier in the scene to create a more cohesive narrative thread. This connection could also serve to deepen the conflict between Barbie and Sasha, as it adds layers to their relationship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Barbie expresses her feelings of being objectified more explicitly, perhaps by referencing specific instances that have led to her emotional breakdown.
  • Enhance Ken's dialogue to reflect a deeper understanding of Barbie's struggles, possibly by having him express concern for her well-being rather than focusing solely on his own desires.
  • Revise the Mattel agents' dialogue to convey a more authoritative and intimidating presence, perhaps by using more formal language or a more serious tone to emphasize the gravity of the situation.
  • Create a more gradual transition into the arrival of the Mattel agents by incorporating a moment where Barbie's emotional state peaks, making her feel even more vulnerable and desperate.
  • Foreshadow the connection between Gloria and Sasha earlier in the scene, perhaps through subtle hints or dialogue that suggests their relationship, to create a more cohesive narrative and enhance the emotional stakes.



Scene 23 -  Barbie's Bold Stand at Mattel
EXT./INT. BLACK VAN. DAY

As the van zooms down the highway, a chipper Barbie tries to
talk to the men in the car.

BARBIE MARGOT
Of course, Mattel! It was you guys
who wanted me to come to the Real
World! Because it definitely wasn’t
that Sasha girl.

No one responds.

EXT. GIANT MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. DAY

The scary black van pulls up, and Barbie steps out looking up
at the giant building.
52.


BARBIE MARGOT
Thanks for the ride! This has been
so much fun.

She is escorted through the big double doors...

BARBIE MARGOT
(in awe)
Wow! The Mothership!

INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. LOBBY

Barbie Margot smiles as she’s taken through the lobby and up
a glass elevator and it opens on to the top floor with all
the executives... And she opens the door on So Much Pink.

INT. MATTEL HEADQUARTERS. BOARDROOM.

1/2 EXECUTIVES ALL TOGETHER
Barbie! We’re so happy to see you!

THE OTHER HALF ALL TOGETHER
Can we get you anything? Mineral
water?

BARBIE MARGOT
Yes, thank you.

She’s handed a glass of mineral water which she turns and
pours all over her open mouth and down her shirt. The lime
wedge sticking to her cheek. They all stare at her.

BARBIE MARGOT
(inspecting the glass)
I’m not used to that having
anything in it.

The executives part, revealing our CEO, arms outstretched.

MATTEL CEO
We’ve been REALLY anxious to get
some quality face time with you...

BARBIE MARGOT
Of COURSE! So what can I do to
repair the rift in the space time
continuum portal and get my feet
back and that one cellulite gone?
And generally just not turn into
Weird Barbie.

They all look at her blankly.
53.


MATTEL CEO
We have been discussing that very
topic. If you are agreeable to it,
we would love it if you could
just... get into this giant box.

A human-size Barbie box is wheeled out. It has the logo and
plastic restraining straps and everything.

MATTEL CEO
If you get in that box, you’ll go
back to Barbie Land, and everything
will be as it was.

Barbie thinks for a minute. The executives all impatiently
lean forward. It’s taking everything for them not to just
capture her and put her in the box themselves.

BARBIE MARGOT
(finally)
You know what. We should probably
get Ken first.

MATTEL CEO
Ken?

BARBIE MARGOT
You know... Ken.

MATTEL CEO
Oh Ken! The guy. Oh right!

WE CUT BACK TO: Ken just screaming his lungs out on the
rocket going back the other direction.

BACK TO MATTEL:

MATTEL CEO
... yeah, Ken isn’t something we’re
worried about... ever.

BARBIE MARGOT
OK. I’ll get in the box.

EXECUTIVES ALL TOGETHER
(relieved)
Oh, wonderful!

BARBIE MARGOT
But since I came all the way here
could I meet the woman in charge?
Your CEO?

They all hesitate. The male Mattel CEO raises his hand.
54.


MATTEL CEO
Um, that would be me.

BARBIE MARGOT
Well what about the CFO?

But it’s another man.

EXECUTIVE #3
Er, me.

BARBIE MARGOT
The COO?

Man.

EXECUTIVE #2
Me here.

BARBIE MARGOT
Goodness gracious, what about --
President of the Barbie division.

It’s another man.

EXECUTIVE #1 AARON DINKINS
Present. Um, I’m a man with no power,
does that make me a woman?

BARBIE MARGOT
ARE THERE ANY WOMEN IN CHARGE?!

MATTEL CEO
(emotional)
Listen, I know where you’re going
with this, and I have to say I
really resent it because we are a
company literally MADE of women.
There was a woman CEO in the 90’s
and another one at some other time.
Women are the freaking foundation
of this long phallic building! We
have gender neutral bathrooms up
the wazoo! Every single one of
these men you see before you loves
women.

EXECUTIVES IN UNISON
Up the wazoo!
55.


MATTEL CEO
I am the son of a mother, I am the
mother of a son, I am the nephew of
a woman aunt, some of my best
friends are Jewish... what I’m
trying to say is GET IN THE BOX YOU
JEZEBEL!

Everyone gasps!

MATTEL CEO
What?! I can’t say JEZEBEL now?!

Barbie Margot seems unfazed, looks at the box.

BARBIE MARGOT
I haven’t been in a box in ages.

One executive steps into the box and then jumps back out.

MATTEL CEO
See it’s easy.

BARBIE MARGOT
OK.

She slowly steps into the box.

BARBIE MARGOT
I totally remember this smell! I’m
having a real Proustian flashback.

EXECUTIVES ALL TOGETHER
Haha, Proust!

MATTEL CEO
(to his neighbor)
Remember Proust Barbie? That did
not sell well.

The employees surround the box somewhat menacingly. A Mattel
Employee grabs the plastic ties from the holes in the back of
the box and pulls.

Barbie Margot feels the restraints tighten on her wrist. She
hesitates, it sinking in. She pulls her wrist out quickly
just as the plastic cinches. Then she jumps out of the box.

BARBIE MARGOT
You know what? Before I get in the
box, can I just make sure my hair
is perfect?
56.


MATTEL CEO
It really is time to get in the
box!

BARBIE MARGOT
But I want to look factory
beautiful.

MATTEL CEO
OK, but let’s hurry it up.

She backs over toward the bathroom and then zigs toward the
double doors of the conference room. Then she BOLTS!

MATTEL CEO
Get that Barbie!
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary Barbie Margot arrives at Mattel Headquarters, excited to be in the 'Mothership.' She humorously spills mineral water on herself while meeting executives who want her to enter a giant box to return to Barbie Land. Despite their confusion, Barbie insists on finding Ken and confronts the lack of female leadership at the company. The scene culminates in a comedic standoff as Barbie attempts to escape just as the executives prepare to confine her.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Satirical humor
  • Engaging concept
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive humor
  • Slightly predictable plot twists

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining, with a good balance of humor, satire, and surreal elements. The dialogue is witty, and the concept of Barbie being brought to the real world by a toy company is intriguing.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie being brought to the real world by a toy company is original and engaging. It adds a new layer to the story and opens up possibilities for exploration of themes related to identity, corporate culture, and gender roles.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is focused on Barbie's interaction with the Mattel executives and her decision to escape from their control. It moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up potential challenges for Barbie in the real world.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original take on the Barbie character, placing her in a corporate setting and exploring themes of identity and gender roles. The dialogue is witty and subversive, offering a unique perspective on the toy industry.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, especially Barbie and the Mattel executives, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions are humorous and reveal insights into their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie undergoes a subtle change in the scene as she asserts her independence and decides to escape from the control of the Mattel executives. This sets her on a new path in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie's internal goal is to maintain her identity and sense of self in a world that wants to control and change her. She desires to stay true to who she is and not conform to the expectations of others.

External Goal: 7

Barbie's external goal is to navigate the situation at the Mattel headquarters and potentially find a way back to Barbie Land. She is faced with the challenge of being put in a giant box to return to her world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Barbie grapples with the decision to escape from the control of the toy company. The tension is driven by her desire for independence and autonomy.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Barbie facing resistance from the executives and the pressure to conform to their expectations. The audience is unsure of how Barbie will navigate the situation.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are moderate, as Barbie faces the decision to escape from the control of the toy company and venture into the real world. The outcome of her choice could have significant consequences for her character.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up potential challenges for Barbie in the real world. It opens up new possibilities for character development and plot progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns, such as Barbie's refusal to conform and the executives' reactions to her behavior.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between individuality and conformity. Barbie represents individuality and freedom, while the executives at Mattel represent conformity and control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by the humor and satire. The audience is likely to feel entertained and amused by the absurdity of the situation.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, satirical, and humorous. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and drives the comedic tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, absurdity, and the tension between Barbie and the executives. The dialogue and actions keep the audience entertained and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with a good balance of dialogue and action. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and interested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, maintaining a good pace and rhythm. The formatting is consistent with the genre of comedy.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Barbie Margot's playful and naive personality, contrasting it with the serious and corporate environment of Mattel. However, the humor sometimes feels forced, particularly in the dialogue with the executives, which can detract from the emotional stakes of Barbie's situation.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven. While the initial interactions are light and comedic, the transition to Barbie's realization of her predicament could be more gradual. The moment where she hesitates before getting into the box feels rushed and could benefit from more build-up to heighten the tension.
  • The dialogue, while humorous, occasionally leans too heavily on stereotypes and clichés about corporate culture, which may come off as one-dimensional. The executives' responses could be more nuanced to reflect a range of reactions to Barbie's inquiries about female representation in leadership roles.
  • Barbie's emotional journey is central to the narrative, but this scene could delve deeper into her internal conflict. While she maintains a chipper demeanor, there are hints of her anxiety and confusion that could be explored further to create a more compelling character arc.
  • The visual elements, such as the 'Mothership' and the giant box, are imaginative but could be enhanced with more descriptive language to paint a clearer picture of the setting. This would help the audience visualize the stark contrast between Barbie's vibrant personality and the sterile corporate environment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Barbie reflects on her feelings about being taken to Mattel Headquarters, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a conversation with the executives that reveals her vulnerability.
  • Enhance the comedic elements by incorporating more physical comedy or visual gags, especially during Barbie's interactions with the executives. This could help maintain the lighthearted tone while also emphasizing the absurdity of the situation.
  • Introduce a more diverse range of executive characters, perhaps including a female executive who challenges the CEO's statements about gender representation. This could add depth to the conversation and provide a counterpoint to Barbie's frustrations.
  • Slow down the pacing during the moment when Barbie hesitates to get into the box. Allow for a more dramatic buildup, perhaps by showing her internal struggle or a flashback that highlights her desire for autonomy.
  • Consider using more vivid descriptions of the setting and characters to create a stronger visual impact. This could involve detailing the colors, textures, and overall atmosphere of the Mattel Headquarters to enhance the audience's immersion in the scene.



Scene 24 -  Escape to Self-Discovery
INT. MATTEL CUBICLES. CONTINUOUS.

A BIG CHASE through the main bullpen offices of Mattel. The
CEO and all the executives hurry after her. It’s like a giant
maze. Barbie Margot darts around the cubicles as employees
work, people pass from cubicle to cubicle popping up and
looking around, trying to spot her.

MATTEL CEO
(to the troops)
It’s quicker if you go OVER the
cubicles!

The CEO tries to scramble/climb badly over the TOP of a
cubicle and topples into an employee and a computer console.

Barbie sprints toward giant double doors on the other side of
the room. The Mattel Executives in hot pursuit. She hurries
through the doors and shoves a broom through the handles to
hold them off.

Barbie enters a big hallway with lots of doors, she tries
every one, but they’re all locked. Trapped! Panicked! She
hears the executives getting closer. Then one door opens...

INT. MAGICAL ROOM FROM THE 1950S. ETERNITY

She enters the room and shuts the door behind her.

A VOICE (O.S.)
Oh, hello, come in.

Barbie Margot sees a woman, dressed like a mom in the 1950’s.
The room we see resembles a 1950’s kitchen. She’s working on
something - her sewing machine is out, and there are scraps
of paper and cloth all over the kitchen table.
57.


1950 WOMAN
Don’t worry, you’re safe here.

BARBIE MARGOT
(looking around)
What is this place?

1950 WOMAN
(laughing at herself)
I always find that I think best at
kitchen tables. Tea?

BARBIE MARGOT
Yes, please.

The woman hands her the cup, which Barbie Margot brings to
her lips then hesitates. A little dribbles down her chin but
she is able to drink it too. She smiles, proud of herself.
She feels strangely comfortable here.

BARBIE MARGOT
So, a woman does work here.

1950 WOMAN
Oh, sweetie, we do more than work
here.

BARBIE MARGOT
(comfortable)
The real world isn’t what I thought
it was.

1950 WOMAN
(smiling)
It never is. And isn’t that
marvelous?

There is a moment that passes between them. Barbie Margot
feels the woman’s gaze.

BARBIE MARGOT
What? Is it that I don’t know how
to drink tea?

1950 WOMAN
No. You look different.

BARBIE MARGOT
(embarrassed)
I’m not what I used to be. I used
to be perfect.
58.


1950 WOMAN
I don’t know, I think you’re just
right.

She settles down at her sewing machine and resumes her work.

BARBIE MARGOT
Who... who are you?

We hear the Executives in the hallway, yelling, trying
doorknobs. Barbie Margot tenses. Without looking up, the
older woman indicates a closet next to the refrigerator.

1950 WOMAN
If you go through that closet,
you’ll find a stairwell down to the
lobby. Just be careful of the mops
and brooms.

BARBIE MARGOT
Thank you... ?

1950 WOMAN
(smiling)
Ruth.

BARBIE MARGOT
Thank you, Ruth.

RUTH
You’re welcome, Barbie.

Barbie Margot hesitates then enters the cupboard. She pushes
through the mops and brooms. The cupboard extends beyond and
Barbie Margot finds herself in a narrow back stairwell.
Genres: ["Fantasy","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary In a frantic chase through the Mattel offices, Barbie Margot evades the clumsy pursuit of the CEO and executives. She barricades herself in a hallway filled with locked doors, ultimately discovering a magical 1950s kitchen where she meets Ruth. Ruth offers comfort and wisdom, guiding Barbie towards self-acceptance and providing her with an escape route. The scene transitions from chaos to calm as Barbie reflects on her identity before finding a way out.
Strengths
  • Unique setting in the 1950s magical room
  • Character development for Barbie Margot
  • Emotional depth and reflection
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Potential pacing issues with the chase sequence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-designed with a creative concept that introduces a new setting and character, advancing the plot while adding depth to Barbie Margot's journey. The execution is engaging and imaginative, capturing a mix of tones effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of escaping to a 1950s magical room within a corporate environment adds depth and whimsy to the narrative. The introduction of Ruth as a mentor figure provides a unique perspective on identity and self-acceptance.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Barbie Margot seeks refuge in the magical room, encountering a new character who offers guidance and a different outlook on her situation. The scene adds complexity to the story and sets up potential character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the chase scene trope by incorporating elements of nostalgia and introspection. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Barbie Margot's interaction with Ruth reveals vulnerability and a desire for understanding, adding layers to her character. Ruth's presence as a wise and comforting figure enhances the scene's emotional depth.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot experiences a subtle shift in perspective and self-awareness through her interaction with Ruth, gaining insight into the complexities of identity and perfection. The scene sets the stage for potential character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 9

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to find safety and escape from the pursuing Mattel executives. This reflects her deeper need for freedom, independence, and a sense of identity beyond her perfect image.

External Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to evade capture and find a way out of the building. This reflects the immediate challenge she's facing of being pursued by the executives.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, as Barbie Margot confronts her feelings of inadequacy and seeks reassurance from Ruth. The tension arises from Barbie's struggle with her changing perception of herself.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Barbie Margot facing multiple obstacles and challenges that keep the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low in terms of external conflict, focusing more on Barbie Margot's internal struggles and emotional journey. The scene emphasizes personal growth and self-discovery over high-stakes action.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening Barbie Margot's internal conflict and introducing a new element of guidance and wisdom through Ruth. It sets up future developments and character arcs within the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements like the magical 1950s room and the interaction with Ruth, adding layers of complexity and intrigue to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the contrast between the superficial perfection of Barbie Margot's image and the deeper, more meaningful values represented by Ruth and the 1950s room. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about herself and the world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, evoking feelings of comfort, reflection, and vulnerability as Barbie Margot interacts with Ruth. The shift in tone adds depth to the narrative and enhances the emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between Barbie Margot and Ruth is meaningful and reflective, providing insight into Barbie's internal struggles and the themes of identity and perfection. The exchange is well-crafted and serves the scene's purpose.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines action, suspense, and emotional depth, keeping the audience invested in Barbie Margot's journey and the outcome of the chase.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing fast-paced action with slower, more reflective moments, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The chase sequence effectively builds tension and urgency, showcasing Barbie's desperation and the absurdity of the corporate environment. However, the pacing could be improved by tightening the dialogue and action to maintain momentum throughout the scene.
  • The introduction of the 1950s woman, Ruth, adds a whimsical and nostalgic element, but the transition from the chase to the kitchen feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the tension built during the chase.
  • Ruth's character serves as a comforting presence for Barbie, but her dialogue could be more impactful. The lines about women doing more than work could be expanded to reflect deeper themes of empowerment and identity, which would resonate more with the audience.
  • Barbie's emotional journey is central to the scene, yet her internal conflict could be more explicitly expressed. Adding more of her thoughts or feelings about her identity crisis would deepen the audience's connection to her character.
  • The visual elements of the scene are strong, particularly the contrast between the chaotic corporate environment and the serene 1950s kitchen. However, more descriptive language could enhance the imagery and help the audience visualize the setting more vividly.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Barbie as she runs, allowing her to express her thoughts on the chaos around her, which would deepen her character development.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Barbie and Ruth to include more poignant observations about femininity and societal expectations, making their exchange more meaningful.
  • Smooth the transition from the chase to the kitchen by incorporating a moment where Barbie reflects on her situation before entering the room, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Use more vivid descriptions of the 1950s kitchen and its elements to create a stronger visual contrast with the corporate setting, emphasizing the thematic juxtaposition.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a humorous element to the chase, such as Barbie using office supplies creatively to evade capture, which could lighten the tone while maintaining the urgency.



Scene 25 -  Escape and Understanding
INT. LOBBY/EXT. STREET

Barbie Margot scampers across the lobby and onto the busy
street. She looks around desperately. She glances back
through the glass windows. Mattel Executives sliding across
the shiny, slippery lobby floor.

Barbie freezes, panicked. Gloria’s car pulls up, door
opening.

GLORIA
Get in!

Barbie Margot then SEES Gloria. Time slows down. It’s the
“love look” completed. They see each other seeing each other.

Just then the Mattel Executives come running out of the
building.
59.


GLORIA
NOW! GET IN NOW!

Barbie Margot leaps into the back seat. The door slams shut
and the car screeches off.

Town cars and vans pull up. The executives scramble inside.

MATTEL CEO
Follow that Barbie!

INT. GLORIA’S CAR.

Gloria drives, making crazy turns. She’s an incredible
driver. Sasha in the passenger seat. Everyone is screaming.

SASHA
(so embarrassed)
God I hope nobody from school saw
us put a life-size Barbie in our
car. How did this even happen?!

Mattel gains on them. Gloria does some crazy amazing driving.

GLORIA
I don’t know!

SASHA
How are you here? You’re like, an
idea.

BARBIE MARGOT
A GREAT idea.

GLORIA
So, I’ve been a little lonely
lately and I found the Barbies we
used play with --

SASHA GLORIA
I thought we gave those away! And I started playing and
making drawings like we used
to do together because I
thought it would be fun and
joyful--

BARBIE MARGOT
(she understands)
But it wasn’t, was it?

GLORIA
No, because I started feeling sad
and weird and then the drawings got
sad and weird...
(MORE)
60.
GLORIA (CONT’D)
and maybe because I couldn’t be
like you I ended up making you like
me?

BARBIE MARGOT
Did any of these drawings by chance
have thoughts of death and
cellulite?

GLORIA
YES! IRREPRESSIBLE THOUGHTS OF
DEATH BARBIE!

BARBIE MARGOT
OH MY GOD!

GLORIA
And CELLULITE!

BARBIE MARGOT GLORIA
I came for YOU! YOU came for ME!

SASHA
What?!

BARBIE MARGOT
Those were YOUR memories!

CUT BACK to earlier images of mother and daughter, but this
time we see Gloria’s experience, the joy of participating in
Sasha’s childhood and the pain of Sasha inevitably moving
away as she grows up.

BACK to THE CAR:

SASHA
What? Are you two, like, Shining???

GLORIA
No, it’s nothing like THAT!

SASHA
Are you Shining with a REAL Barbie?

GLORIA
No! Well, I mean, kind of... YES!

Gloria makes a crazy, screeching turn. (This should feel like
the chase in Bullitt!)

SASHA
I don’t even know where to start
with this wishing a Barbie to life
crap.
61.


GLORIA
Listen, I’m just a boring Mom with
a boring job and a daughter who
hates me. Can you blame me for
wanting a little fun?

Gloria checks the rearview mirror. The Mattel cars flanking.

GLORIA
I’m going to have to lose these
chuckleheads.

She makes another crazy turn: clearly Gloria is NOT boring.

SASHA
Mom!

Everyone slides over, Barbie Margot falling. Gloria rights
the car, Barbie Margot climbs back up, her hair a mess.

BARBIE MARGOT
(shaking her head)
I think I owe you ladies an
apology. I thought Barbie had made
the Real World better, but the Real
World is forever and irrevocably
messed up!

GLORIA
Well the real world isn’t perfect,
but you inspired ME!

BARBIE MARGOT
(depressed)
But I love women, I want to help
women.

SASHA
Oh, come off it, everybody hates
women. Women hate women and men
hate women. It’s the thing we can
all agree on.

BARBIE MARGOT
(horrified)
Is that true?

GLORIA SASHA
It’s complicated... hate is a Wake up Mom!
strong word.

Two cars appear on either side. The Mattel executives
yelling, but we can’t hear anything they’re saying through
their tinted windows.
62.


GLORIA
I am WIDE awake Sasha!

Gloria turns the wheel smashing into the side of a median
strip, sending them skidding.

SASHA
MOM! Where did you learn to drive
like this?

GLORIA
There was this guy...

SASHA
Was it dad?

GLORIA
(vague)
Yeah... yeah it was dad.

Gloria does a crazy reverse, Tokyo Drift thing right into a
hidden alley. Everyone quiets as the Mattel vans drive by,
not seeing them.

GLORIA
I can’t hold them off forever.

BARBIE MARGOT
(suddenly)
WAIT! I have an idea! Can you get
us to Venice Beach?!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In a thrilling escape from the Mattel building, Barbie Margot is rescued by Gloria, who skillfully evades pursuing executives while discussing their feelings of loneliness and the impact of Barbie's existence on Gloria's life. As they drive through the busy city, Sasha, Gloria's daughter, adds humor to the tense situation with her confusion. The scene blends urgency with introspection, culminating in a shared understanding of their struggles and a suggestion from Barbie to head to Venice Beach for their next adventure.
Strengths
  • Humor
  • Character Development
  • Emotional Depth
  • Action Sequences
Weaknesses
  • Some Dialogue Exposition
  • Slightly Predictable Plot Choices

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, action, and emotional depth. It effectively moves the story forward while providing character development and setting up high stakes for the next part of the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie coming to life and interacting with real-world characters is engaging and offers a unique perspective on themes of identity, self-discovery, and relationships. The scene effectively explores these concepts through the characters' interactions and dialogue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging and moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and challenges for the characters. It sets up important developments for the next part of the narrative while providing depth to the characters' arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of a Barbie doll coming to life and grappling with existential questions. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and show growth and vulnerability in this scene. Their interactions reveal layers of their personalities and motivations, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes in this scene, showing growth, vulnerability, and self-discovery. Their interactions and challenges lead to emotional and personal development, setting up future arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to understand her purpose and place in the world. She grapples with feelings of loneliness, confusion, and a desire to help others, particularly women.

External Goal: 7.5

Barbie Margot's external goal is to escape from the pursuing Mattel executives and reach Venice Beach. This goal reflects the immediate danger and obstacles she faces.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is well-developed, with internal and external conflicts driving the characters' actions and decisions. It creates tension and stakes, keeping the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Mattel executives providing a formidable obstacle for the protagonists to overcome. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and drama to the chase sequence.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing challenges, conflicts, and decisions that have significant consequences for their relationships and journeys. It raises the tension and sets up important developments.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, relationships, and challenges for the characters. It sets up important developments for the next part of the narrative, maintaining momentum and engagement.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of its blend of fantasy and reality, humor and drama. The unexpected twists and turns in the plot keep the audience guessing and add excitement to the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of identity, purpose, and the nature of reality. Barbie Margot questions her existence and the impact she has on the world, while Gloria and Sasha grapple with their own desires and insecurities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, with moments of humor, reflection, and vulnerability resonating with the audience. It elicits empathy for the characters and adds depth to their relationships.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and emotionally resonant, capturing the characters' personalities and relationships effectively. It adds to the scene's tone and themes while driving the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, action, and emotional depth. The fast-paced chase sequence and witty banter between the characters keep the audience on the edge of their seats, eager to see what happens next.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and introspection. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and suspense, leading to a satisfying climax and resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue that flows naturally. It adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the overall readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure with a clear goal, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency of Barbie Margot's escape, utilizing a fast-paced dialogue and action to maintain tension. However, the dialogue can feel a bit cluttered at times, which may detract from the emotional weight of the moment. The comedic elements are strong, but they can overshadow the more serious themes of identity and self-acceptance that are emerging in this part of the story.
  • The character dynamics between Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha are engaging, but Sasha's reactions sometimes come off as overly sarcastic, which can dilute the emotional stakes. It might be beneficial to balance her humor with moments of genuine concern or curiosity about the situation, allowing for a more nuanced portrayal of her character.
  • The pacing of the scene is frenetic, which works well for the chase aspect, but it may be helpful to slow down at key moments to allow the audience to absorb the emotional revelations. For instance, when Barbie and Gloria discuss their feelings of loneliness and the impact of Barbie's existence, a brief pause or a more reflective moment could enhance the emotional resonance.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, particularly in the driving sequences, but they could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. For example, describing the sounds of the cars, the feel of the wind, or the sights of the city could immerse the audience further into the chaos of the chase.
  • The dialogue about 'death' and 'cellulite' is humorous but may come off as jarring in the context of a high-speed chase. It might be more effective to weave these themes into the conversation more subtly, allowing the humor to arise naturally from the situation rather than feeling forced.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the dialogue to focus on the most impactful lines, allowing for moments of silence or reflection that can heighten the emotional stakes.
  • Introduce a moment where Sasha expresses genuine concern for her mother or Barbie, which could add depth to her character and create a stronger emotional connection between the three characters.
  • Incorporate sensory details to enhance the visual experience of the chase, such as the sounds of screeching tires, the rush of wind, or the sights of the city blurring by.
  • Allow for a brief pause in the action during the conversation about loneliness and identity, giving the audience a moment to absorb the significance of their exchange.
  • Revisit the humor surrounding 'death' and 'cellulite' to ensure it feels organic to the scene. Consider using these themes as a backdrop to the action rather than foregrounding them in the dialogue.



Scene 26 -  Escape to Barbie Land
EXT. VENICE BEACH. 20 MINUTES LATER

They roller blade, frantically.

GLORIA
Where are we going?!

BARBIE MARGOT
Barbie Land! We’ll be safe there!

SASHA
WHAT?! Mom, are you really going to
let Barbie take you and your tween
daughter to an imaginary land?

GLORIA
Yes and you know why? Because I
never get to do anything. I didn’t
even go on that cruise I won at
your school raffle because I didn’t
have enough vacation days and your
dad is allergic to sun.
63.


SASHA
What about Dad? We can’t just leave
him!

GLORIA
He’ll be fine.

CUT to Nerdy Well Meaning Dad, in sandals and socks, learning
Spanish from an app.

NERDY WELL MEANING DAD
(into his phone, loud)
Boligrafos.

APP
Muy bien!

BACK to our group.

SASHA
Yeah, he’ll be fine.

BARBIE MARGOT
Ready for fun! Here we go!

TRANSPORTATION MONTAGE

AND: We replay some of the various vehicles.

First is Snowmobile. Cute winter wear!

SASHA
Where are we! How did we get into
these clothes?

BARBIE MARGOT
(a twinkle in her eye)
How did you get into this vehicle?

GLORIA
(looking down)
When I was a kid, I lost these
boots and my mom wouldn’t let me
buy a whole new Barbie just to
replace the boots!

BARBIE MARGOT
They look so good on you.

GLORIA
Why thank you!

Sasha does an eye roll.
64.


Camper. They’re all chilling in lawn chairs.

GLORIA
(admiring Barbie Margot)
She was always my favorite Barbie.

BARBIE MARGOT
And you are my favorite human!

Tandem Bike. It’s now a three seater!

GLORIA
Don’t tell him, but I never got a
Ken.

BARBIE MARGOT
That’s because Ken is totally
superfluous!

They all crack up - Barbie Margot and Gloria are real pals.

Rocket.

BARBIE MARGOT
Women hold all major positions of
power, control all the money,
basically everything men do in your
world, women do in ours.

SASHA
(bending a little)
I mean, that sounds kind of cool.

Boat. Sasha is laughing as they take the waves in the speed
boat. The experience, as bizarre as it is, can’t help but
delight her. Sasha then regards her mother regarding her:

GLORIA
Look! Dolphins!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary In this whimsical scene at Venice Beach, Gloria, Barbie Margot, and Sasha rollerblade excitedly as Gloria expresses her desire to escape to Barbie Land for fun. Despite Sasha's concerns about leaving her dad behind, who humorously learns Spanish from an app, the trio embarks on a playful adventure using various fantastical vehicles. As they bond over childhood memories, Sasha begins to warm up to the idea of their journey. The scene culminates in a joyful moment as Gloria points out dolphins while on a speedboat, encapsulating the light-hearted spirit of their adventure.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Whimsical adventure
  • Heartfelt moments
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Low external conflict
  • Limited character growth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, adventure, and heartfelt moments, creating an engaging and entertaining sequence. The rollerblading journey to Barbie Land adds a whimsical touch to the story and deepens the bond between the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on a whimsical adventure to Barbie Land, is creative and engaging. The use of unique transportation methods adds a fun and imaginative element to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' journey to Barbie Land and their interactions along the way. It moves the story forward by deepening the relationships between the characters and introducing new elements to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of Barbie Land and explores themes of escapism and female empowerment in a unique way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, particularly Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions and dynamics add depth to the scene and create moments of humor and reflection.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, especially Barbie Margot and Gloria, experience subtle changes and moments of self-discovery during the scene. Their interactions and reflections contribute to their growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Gloria's internal goal is to break free from her mundane life and responsibilities, seeking adventure and fun. This reflects her desire for excitement and escape from routine.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to reach Barbie Land and find safety. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of escaping potential danger and finding a place of refuge.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is relatively low, focusing more on the characters' interactions and the whimsical adventure to Barbie Land. The conflict arises more from internal struggles and self-discovery than external obstacles.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with Sasha questioning Gloria's decision but ultimately going along with it. The uncertainty adds a layer of tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing more on the characters' personal journeys and interactions rather than high-stakes conflicts or dramatic events. The emphasis is on self-discovery, camaraderie, and adventure.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by deepening the relationships between the characters, introducing new elements to the narrative, and setting the stage for future developments. It adds depth and progression to the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its transition to Barbie Land and the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between embracing imagination and reality. Gloria's decision to follow Barbie Margot to an imaginary land challenges Sasha's belief in practicality and logic.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, reflection, and camaraderie evoking a range of emotions from the audience. The heartfelt interactions between the characters add depth to the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and heartfelt, capturing the personalities of the characters and enhancing the overall tone of the scene. The interactions feel natural and engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, adventure, and character dynamics. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, humor, and emotional moments, keeping the audience engaged and invested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, maintaining a good pace and flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and adventurous spirit of Barbie Land, showcasing the playful dynamic between Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha. However, the transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Barbie's previous confrontation could be better integrated into this scene to maintain continuity and deepen character development.
  • The dialogue is lively and humorous, particularly in the exchanges between Gloria and Barbie Margot. However, Sasha's skepticism about leaving her dad behind could be expanded to add more emotional depth. This would enhance the stakes of their adventure and provide a clearer motivation for Sasha's character.
  • The montage sequence is a fun way to illustrate their journey, but it could benefit from more visual variety and specificity. Each vehicle transition feels a bit rushed, and adding unique details or challenges they face in each mode of transportation could enhance the comedic and adventurous tone.
  • While the humor is present, the scene could explore the underlying themes of escapism and the complexities of motherhood more deeply. Gloria's desire to escape her mundane life is a relatable sentiment, but it could be juxtaposed with Sasha's concerns to create a richer emotional landscape.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition between the dialogue and the montage could be smoother. A more seamless integration of the characters' reactions to each new vehicle could enhance the flow and maintain audience engagement.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Sasha expresses her feelings about leaving her dad, perhaps through a humorous or poignant line, to deepen her character and the emotional stakes.
  • Expand the montage by incorporating unique challenges or funny moments that occur with each vehicle transition, allowing for more character interaction and comedic opportunities.
  • Integrate a moment of reflection for Gloria about her past and her relationship with Sasha, perhaps during the montage, to add emotional depth and context to her desire for adventure.
  • Smooth the transition into the montage by having a character react to the absurdity of their situation before jumping into the fun, which can help maintain the emotional continuity from the previous scene.
  • Consider using visual gags or callbacks to previous scenes to enhance the humor and create a sense of cohesion throughout the montage, making it feel like a natural extension of their journey.



Scene 27 -  Joyride and Jitters
EXT. BARBIE LAND. BARBIE CAR. DAY

Barbie, Gloria and Sasha cruise in the Barbie Car. Indigo
Girls “Closer to Fine” playing on the radio, as always

BARBIE MARGOT GLORIA
(singing) (also singing)
I went to the doctor / I went I went to the doctor / I went
to the mountain. to the mountain.

SASHA BARBIE MARGOT
WHAT IS THIS SONG?! (going on)
... and we have a female
president!
65.


BARBIE MARGOT
And it’s fun and work and
friendship and female 24/7.

SASHA
Do giant hands come in and play
with you?

BARBIE MARGOT
What? No. That’s crazy.

CUT BACK TO: VENICE BEACH. REAL WORLD

Mattel Executives talk to locals on the Boardwalk who tell
them what they saw earlier.

MUSCULAR VENICE BEACH PERSON
(pointing indistinctly)
A blonde, a brunette and a tween
roller bladed in that direction...

MATTEL CEO
(ominous)
The first step is always
rollerblading.

AARON DINKINS MATTEL CEO
(he’s tagged along) They’ve gone to Barbie Land.
Excuse me, sir?

AARON DINKINS
Oh no.

MATTEL CEO
And she brought humans there with
her. This could mean extremely
weird things for our world.

AARON DINKINS
Like what?

MATTEL CEO
Like nothing any of our collective
imaginations COULD EVER DREAM UP.

Aaron Dinkins looks peculiar, trying to imagine.

EXECUTIVE #1
A podcast hosted by two wise trees?
Or a choir of two thousand young
fathers...
66.


MATTEL CEO
Not even CLOSE.
(to the others)
We’ve got to get to Barbie Land!
GO! Find some blades. Just pick a
direction and run!

They scatter.
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In this whimsical scene, Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha enjoy a carefree ride in the Barbie Car, singing 'Closer to Fine' and discussing the joys of Barbie Land, while Sasha humorously questions the reality of their world. Meanwhile, in the real world, Mattel executives express concern over the unpredictable consequences of Barbie bringing humans to Barbie Land, leading to a frantic scramble to address the situation.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging plot progression
  • Dynamic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion with the transition between real world and Barbie Land

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, adventure, and fantasy elements, creating an engaging and entertaining sequence that propels the story forward while maintaining a light-hearted tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Land as a fantastical escape from reality is well-established and integrated into the scene, providing a unique backdrop for the characters' interactions and the unfolding events.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging, with the characters facing obstacles, making decisions, and driving the story forward towards a resolution, while introducing new elements that add depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of a fantastical world colliding with the real world, exploring themes of escapism and consequences. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities shine through in their interactions and reactions to the escalating situation, showcasing their individual quirks and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perceptions and relationships as they navigate the challenges of the scene, setting up potential growth and development in future events.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to maintain the illusion of normalcy and fun in Barbie Land while dealing with the unexpected intrusion of humans from the real world.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to protect Barbie Land from the potential disruption caused by the presence of humans from the real world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is driven by the pursuit of the characters by Mattel executives, creating tension and urgency as they try to escape to safety.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the potential consequences of the intrusion of humans into Barbie Land creating a sense of urgency and danger.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the scene, including the pursuit by Mattel executives and the characters' need to escape to safety, raise the tension and drive the action towards a climactic resolution.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles, deepening character dynamics, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected intrusion of humans into Barbie Land and the potential consequences it may have on both worlds.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the fantastical, idealized world of Barbie Land and the harsh reality of the real world. It challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about the separation of these two worlds.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from excitement to concern, adding depth to the characters' experiences and the overall narrative.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is witty and humorous, capturing the characters' voices and enhancing the comedic tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, suspense, and social commentary. The characters' interactions and the unfolding conflict keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and eager to see how the conflict will unfold.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters to build tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and playful tone of Barbie Land, contrasting it with the serious undertones of the Mattel executives' concerns. The juxtaposition of the carefree singing in the car with the ominous dialogue from the executives creates a nice tension that keeps the audience engaged.
  • Barbie's dialogue about the fun, work, and friendship in Barbie Land is a strong reflection of the themes of empowerment and female camaraderie. However, it could benefit from more specificity or examples to make it feel more grounded and relatable.
  • Sasha's question about 'giant hands' is humorous and adds a layer of absurdity, but it might feel slightly out of place in the context of the conversation. It could be more effective if it tied back to a previous joke or theme, reinforcing the playful absurdity of their world.
  • The transition back to the real world is abrupt, and while it serves to heighten the stakes, it could be smoother. A more gradual shift or a visual cue that connects the two worlds could enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue among the Mattel executives is amusing and highlights their cluelessness, but it could be sharpened to enhance the comedic effect. Some lines feel a bit generic and could be more distinctive to each character's personality.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a specific example of what Barbie does in Barbie Land that embodies the themes of fun, work, and friendship. This could help ground the dialogue and make it more relatable.
  • Explore the absurdity of Sasha's question further by having Barbie respond with a playful analogy or a humorous anecdote that ties back to their experiences in Barbie Land.
  • To improve the transition back to the real world, consider using a visual motif, such as a fade or a sound cue, that links the two scenes, making the shift feel more cohesive.
  • Revise the dialogue among the Mattel executives to give each character a unique voice or perspective, enhancing their comedic potential and making them more memorable.
  • Consider incorporating a moment of reflection or realization for Barbie, Gloria, or Sasha that connects their playful adventure to the larger themes of identity and empowerment, adding depth to the scene.



Scene 28 -  Whimsical Wonders and Uneasy Observations
EXT. BARBIE LAND. DAY.

Gloria and Sasha are totally impressed by the beauty of
BARBIE LAND as they drive by the ocean in Barbie’s
convertible.

BARBIE MARGOT
(soaking it all in)
I can feel my heels lifting
already. Yes, this is what I was
supposed to do. Bring you back
here!

GLORIA
(so happy)
It feels right!

BARBIE MARGOT
It does!

They pass the BEACH. Kens are playing volleyball a la Top Gun
and the Barbies are cheering (reverse of beginning).

BARBIE MARGOT
That’s strange...

Also Kens race on the beach and hug triumphantly in the surf
(a la Rocky III). Barbie Issa hands a Ken a beer.

BARBIE ISSA
Incoming brewski beer--
(she makes plane sounds)

BARBIE MARGOT
Uh, so that’s our president with
the beer. And the cheering squad...
is the supreme court?

BARBIE ISSA
This is so much better than being
President!!

BARBIE MARGOT
Something’s weird today.
67.


A Ken Mermaid leaps out of the surf and waves. You don’t
think that’s a thing? Check this out:

KEN MERMAID
Hi Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
(slightly taken aback))
Oh... OK. Hi Ken.

Barbie Mermaid emerges and hands the Ken Mermaid a beer.

BARBIE MERMAID
Here have a brewski beer! My big
guy is thirsty!

BARBIE MARGOT
Huh.
(shaking it off)
OK. Wait until you see my
Dreamhouse. Everything I’ve bought
and owned will totally inspire you.
We’ll change clothes again!

They pass the Capitol.

BARBIE MARGOT
And that’s the Capitol!

SASHA
It’s pink!!

And finally they pass Barbie Mt. Rushmore, but now instead of
Barbies it’s... horses?!

BARBIE MARGOT
(frowns)
Huh.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In a vibrant drive through Barbie Land, Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha revel in the whimsical beauty around them, from playful Kens to a pink Capitol. However, as Margot expresses her excitement, she begins to notice oddities that hint at something amiss, culminating in her frown at a peculiar Barbie Mt. Rushmore featuring horses instead of Barbies.
Strengths
  • Whimsical setting of Barbie Land
  • Playful interactions between characters
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Low level of conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the whimsical and playful tone of Barbie Land while introducing elements of confusion and humor. The fantastical setting and interactions between characters create an engaging and entertaining atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Barbie Land as a whimsical and fantastical setting where Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha embark on an adventure is unique and engaging. The scene effectively introduces the audience to this imaginative world and sets the stage for playful interactions and humorous moments.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene focuses more on introducing the fantastical world of Barbie Land and the interactions between characters, it lacks significant plot progression. However, it sets up potential conflicts and developments for future scenes within this unique setting.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique situations such as Barbie and Ken dolls in positions of power, subversion of traditional gender roles, and fantastical elements like Barbie Mt. Rushmore with horses.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha are well-defined in this scene, each bringing a distinct personality to the interactions. Barbie is enthusiastic and optimistic, Gloria is joyful and adventurous, and Sasha is initially skeptical but begins to warm up to the adventure.

Character Changes: 6

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' attitudes and perceptions throughout the scene, particularly with Sasha warming up to the adventure, there are no significant character changes. The focus is more on the exploration of the fantastical world.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to feel a sense of belonging and fulfillment in returning to Barbie Land. This reflects her deeper desire for validation and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to show Gloria the wonders of Barbie Land and convince her of its greatness. This reflects the immediate challenge of proving the uniqueness and appeal of Barbie Land.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on the playful interactions and exploration of Barbie Land. While there are moments of confusion and skepticism, the overall tone is light-hearted and joyful.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is not very strong, as the conflicts are more lighthearted and humorous rather than intense or dramatic.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, as the focus is more on the playful exploration of Barbie Land rather than high-stakes conflicts or challenges. The scene prioritizes humor and whimsy over intense drama.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the audience to the fantastical world of Barbie Land and setting up potential conflicts and developments for future scenes. It establishes a new setting and dynamic for the characters to explore.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and subversions of traditional Barbie Land elements.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the subversion of traditional gender roles and societal expectations. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about her own identity and the world she comes from.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by the joy and confusion experienced by the characters as they navigate Barbie Land. There are moments of humor and whimsy that engage the audience emotionally.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the whimsical and playful tone of Barbie Land, with humorous exchanges between the characters adding to the entertainment value. The dialogue captures the confusion and joy of the characters as they navigate this fantastical world.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its whimsical and surreal elements, humorous dialogue, and subversive themes.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a light-hearted and whimsical tone while introducing new elements and conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue format.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the whimsical and vibrant nature of Barbie Land, showcasing the contrast between the characters' expectations and the reality they encounter. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to enhance character development and emotional resonance. For instance, Barbie Margot's excitement feels somewhat surface-level; exploring her internal conflict about the changes in Barbie Land could add layers to her character.
  • The humor in the scene is present, particularly with the absurdity of the Ken Mermaid and the beer-drinking Barbies, but it risks overshadowing the underlying themes of identity and societal roles. Balancing the comedic elements with moments of genuine reflection could create a more impactful narrative.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, especially as Barbie Margot and her friends react to the bizarre changes in Barbie Land. Slowing down the dialogue and allowing for pauses could give the audience time to absorb the strangeness of the situation and the characters' reactions.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, but they could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. For example, describing the sounds of the beach, the smell of the ocean, or the feel of the wind could immerse the audience further into Barbie Land.
  • The introduction of the Ken Mermaid and the beer-drinking Barbies is humorous but may come off as random without sufficient context. Providing a brief explanation or backstory for these changes could help ground the audience in the new reality of Barbie Land.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Barbie Margot reflects on her feelings about the changes in Barbie Land, perhaps expressing nostalgia for the past or confusion about her role in this new environment.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the setting, such as the sounds of laughter, the warmth of the sun, or the taste of the ocean air, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Allow for pauses in the dialogue to give characters time to react to the absurdity of their surroundings, which can heighten the comedic effect and provide space for emotional depth.
  • Introduce a brief backstory or explanation for the Ken Mermaid and the beer-drinking Barbies to provide context for their behavior, making the scene feel more cohesive.
  • Explore the dynamics between Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha more deeply, perhaps by having them share their thoughts on the changes they see, which could lead to character development and strengthen their bond.



Scene 29 -  Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House
EXT. BARBIE MARGOT’S DREAMHOUSE

They drive through the neighborhood.

BARBIE MARGOT
And these are the Dreamhouses! This
is where I live.

As they arrive in the cul-de-sac, Gloria exclaims.

GLORIA
(still in awe)
You can see through the houses!
68.


SASHA
So each Barbie has their own house?
Where do the Kens stay?

BARBIE MARGOT
(this has never occurred
to her before)
I don’t know!

GLORIA
(nerding out)
I had that treehouse! I saved up my
allowance to buy it.

A Ken sits on the swing and waves to them. Barbie cocks her
head. Strange.

They pass a giant Hummer with flames--

BARBIE MARGOT
I’ve never seen a car like that
before... what happened here?

She finally takes in the full transformation - There are mini-
fridges everywhere, that poster of dogs playing poker, video
games, BIG TVs playing horse footage, Doritos, Mini
basketball hoops & arcade games, chin-up bars in the
doorways, foosball, pool, ping pong, air hockey, it’s all Ken
all the time, empowered through some strange game of
telephone with the real world...

Some of them have beards, some mustaches, a couple have
goatees. Every Ken is there, including Ken Simu. This embrace
of a Real World cartoon masculinity seems to have united
them. A now bearded Ken Ryan Gosling sporting a mink coat is
in the middle of a monologue. All the Kens listen, rapt.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(rotating through all the
man-activities)
At first I thought the Real World
was run by men, and then for one
minute I thought it was run by
horses, but now I realize that
horses are just men-extenders. So
are cars, buildings, airplanes,
EVERYTHING! Everything exists just
to expand and elevate the presence
of MEN!

KEN KINGSLEY
That’s amazing!
69.


BARBIE MARGOT (O.S.)
Ken, what have you done?! What are
you wearing?!

The Kens turn to see Barbie Margot, Gloria and Sasha. Ken
Ryan Gosling is secretly thrilled she showed up. He’d been
wanting her to see what he was capable of. He tries to cover
with nonchalance.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Don’t question it. Just roll with
it tiny baby.

BARBIE MARGOT
Don’t call me “baby!”

He’s hurt, but instead of admitting it, now he’s going to go
full-out aggressive and posturing.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ok, what about Mini Baby like this
mini-fridge?

Ken Ryan Gosling opens the door to his mini-fridge and grabs
a beer. Laughter from the Kens. Allan sits with the Kens on a
leather couch and looks miserable.

BARBIE MARGOT
This is MY Dreamhouse.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
This is no longer “Barbie’s
Dreamhouse,” this shall henceforth
be known as “Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa
House.”

SASHA
You don’t have to say “Dojo” and
“House.”

GLORIA
And “Casa.”

KEN RYAN GOSLING
But ya do. Because it feels so
good. Try it. Mojo. Dojo. Casa.
House.

Gloria and Sasha begin to repeat it back to Ken Ryan Gosling.
Barbie Margot shushes them to stop as Ken laughs maniacally.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In a vibrant neighborhood, Barbie Margot drives with Gloria and Sasha, observing the transformed Dreamhouses and the hyper-masculine Kens. Ken Ryan Gosling delivers a monologue about masculinity, which Barbie questions, leading to a confrontation where Ken claims the Dreamhouse as 'Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House.' The scene captures the absurdity of the Kens' new identity and Barbie's resistance, ending with Ken's maniacal laughter as Gloria and Sasha echo his phrases, while Barbie asserts her ownership.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative exploration of Barbie Land
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining, with a unique blend of humor, fantasy, and character dynamics. It effectively introduces new elements to the story while maintaining a lighthearted and engaging tone.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring Barbie Land through the eyes of Barbie, Gloria, and Sasha while introducing the humorous twist of Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House is innovative and engaging. It adds depth to the story and characters.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the characters' interactions in Barbie Land, their discovery of new elements, and the humor derived from the contrast between their expectations and reality. It moves the story forward while adding layers to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its creative reimagining of familiar characters and settings, as well as its subversion of traditional gender roles and expectations. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, especially Barbie, Ken, Gloria, and Sasha, are well-developed and showcase distinct personalities and dynamics. Their interactions drive the humor and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle changes in the characters' perceptions and dynamics, the scene primarily focuses on introducing new elements and humor rather than significant character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to assert her ownership and control over her Dreamhouse, as well as to confront the unexpected transformation caused by the Kens. This reflects her desire for autonomy, identity, and maintaining her sense of self in a changing environment.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to address the chaos and disruption caused by the Kens in her Dreamhouse, as well as to assert her authority and reclaim her space. This reflects her immediate challenge of dealing with unexpected intruders and maintaining order in her home.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily driven by the contrast between Barbie's expectations of Barbie Land and the reality she encounters, as well as the humorous interactions between the characters. It adds tension and humor to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but also allows for comedic moments and character development as Barbie Margot navigates the unexpected challenges presented by the Kens.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on humor, exploration, and character dynamics rather than intense conflict or consequences. However, the scene sets up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements, exploring Barbie Land, and setting up future conflicts and developments. It adds depth to the narrative while maintaining a lighthearted tone.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected arrival of the Kens, the transformation of the Dreamhouse, and the humorous and surprising dialogue exchanges between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between Barbie Margot's traditional view of her Dreamhouse as a place of femininity and the Kens' reimagining of it as a hyper-masculine space. This challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about gender roles, power dynamics, and personal identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, including humor, confusion, and excitement, from the characters and the audience. The interactions and discoveries in Barbie Land add depth to the characters' emotional journeys.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the comedic elements of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, drama, and social commentary, as well as the dynamic interactions between the characters and the unexpected twists in the plot.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and description in a way that maintains tension, humor, and thematic resonance throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the conflict, and developing the characters' interactions in a coherent and engaging way.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the Kens' transformation and their hyper-masculine lifestyle, which contrasts sharply with Barbie's previous world. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance their individuality. For instance, Ken Ryan Gosling's monologue is humorous but could be more impactful if it included specific references to the absurdity of the real world that he has misinterpreted.
  • Barbie Margot's realization about the Kens' new identity feels a bit rushed. While her confusion is evident, it would be more engaging if she expressed her thoughts more deeply, perhaps reflecting on her own identity in relation to the changes around her. This could create a stronger emotional connection for the audience.
  • The comedic elements, such as the 'Mojo Dojo Casa House' phrase, are amusing but may come off as repetitive. The humor could be enhanced by varying the reactions of the characters instead of having them all echo Ken's phrases. This would allow for a more dynamic interaction and showcase their personalities.
  • The visual descriptions of the transformed Dreamhouse are vivid and entertaining, but they could be more tightly integrated with the dialogue. For example, as Barbie reacts to the mini-fridges and video games, her dialogue could directly reference specific items, enhancing the comedic effect and her disbelief.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The buildup to Ken Ryan Gosling's monologue is strong, but the subsequent interactions could be tightened to maintain momentum. Consider trimming some of the back-and-forth to keep the energy high and the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Enhance character differentiation by giving each Ken a unique quirk or catchphrase that reflects their personality, making the interactions more memorable.
  • Allow Barbie Margot to articulate her confusion and frustration more explicitly, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a direct confrontation with Ken about the changes.
  • Vary the reactions of Gloria and Sasha to Ken's antics to create a more dynamic scene. For example, one could be amused while the other is horrified, adding layers to their responses.
  • Integrate visual elements more closely with dialogue. For instance, as Barbie reacts to the absurdities around her, have her comment on specific items to enhance the comedic impact.
  • Consider tightening the pacing by cutting down on repetitive dialogue and focusing on the most impactful exchanges to keep the scene lively and engaging.



Scene 30 -  Chaos at Mattel: The Mojo Dojo Dilemma
EXT/INT. MATTEL SHIPPING WAREHOUSE. REAL WORLD. DAY

People loading Ken Mojo Dojo Casa Houses onto forklifts.
70.


MATTEL CEO (O.S.)
(yelling into his phone)
Give it to me straight - how weird
is it?

WAREHOUSE EMPLOYEE
These Mojo Dojo Casa Houses are
literally flying off the shelves!
The kids are CLAMORING for them!
Ken is on t-shirts, mugs, it’s the
number one tattoo. Warner Bros has
started auditions for the Ken
movie. Which is already a
blockbuster hit!

EXT. VENICE BEACH. REAL WORLD. DAY

All the Mattel execs are roller blading. The CEO reacting to
the news on his phone.

MATTEL CEO AARON DINKINS
It’s happening. That thing we - Executive Assistant -
could never imagine. If we
don’t get my Words Lady -

MATTEL CEO
Executive Words Lady and someone
who is probably her daughter back
here and close the portal, our
world could be altered forever.

EXECUTIVE #2
But what does it matter if it’s
Barbie or Ken? The money is pouring
in!

MATTEL CEO
Shame on you, Executive Number 2!
Do you think I spent my entire life
in board rooms because of a bottom
line?!

They all look away not wanting to answer this.

MATTEL CEO
No! I got into this business
because of little girls and their
dreams! In the least creepy way
possible!
(back to panic)
BLADE FASTER! Time is running out!
71.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary In a frantic scene, the Mattel CEO learns from a warehouse employee that the Mojo Dojo Casa Houses are selling exceptionally well, while Ken merchandise gains unexpected popularity. Amidst the chaos, executives rollerblade at Venice Beach, leading to a debate about the importance of Barbie versus Ken. The CEO, driven by a desire to inspire young girls, urgently pushes to retrieve the 'Words Lady' and her daughter to close a potentially world-altering portal, highlighting a conflict between profit motives and the company's original mission. The scene blends urgency and absurdity as the CEO demands swift action.
Strengths
  • Blend of fantasy and comedy
  • Dynamic plot progression
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too chaotic for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, fantasy, and urgency to create an engaging and entertaining sequence that advances the plot and develops the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie coming to life and interacting with real-world characters while being pursued by Mattel executives is unique and engaging. The blend of fantasy and comedy adds depth to the scene.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is dynamic and engaging, with multiple storylines converging to create tension and humor. The conflict between Barbie, Gloria, Sasha, and the Mattel executives drives the scene forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of a toy company facing a supernatural threat, blending elements of fantasy and corporate drama. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding a layer of originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward. Barbie, Gloria, Sasha, and the Mattel executives each have distinct personalities that add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie, Gloria, Sasha, and even the Mattel executives undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and actions throughout the scene, adding depth to their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect the dreams of little girls and maintain the integrity of the company's brand, reflecting his deeper values and commitment to the company's mission.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to close the portal and prevent the alteration of their world, highlighting the immediate threat to their reality.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Barbie, Gloria, Sasha, and the Mattel executives creates tension and drives the scene forward. The high stakes of Barbie potentially altering the real world add urgency to the situation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and moral dilemmas creating obstacles for the protagonist. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and drama of the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of Barbie potentially altering the real world and the urgency of the situation create tension and drive the characters' actions. The consequences of failure are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, developing character relationships, and setting up future events. The fast-paced action keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the plot, the moral dilemmas faced by the characters, and the supernatural elements introduced. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the prioritization of financial gain versus the preservation of core values and dreams. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, emphasizing the ethical dilemma faced by the characters.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from excitement and humor to confusion and panic. The characters' struggles and interactions evoke empathy and engagement from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of each character's personality. It adds to the comedic tone of the scene and enhances the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, high stakes, and unique premise. The characters' motivations and conflicts draw the audience in, creating a sense of suspense and excitement.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and rhythmic, building tension and suspense effectively. The dialogue and action sequences are well-balanced, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The visual elements are effectively conveyed through the writing.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and plot progression. The transitions between locations are seamless, maintaining the momentum of the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the situation with the Mattel executives, particularly through the CEO's frantic demeanor and the humorous dialogue. However, the transition between the warehouse and Venice Beach could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative. The abrupt shift might confuse the audience about the location and context.
  • The dialogue is lively and reflects the characters' personalities well, but the CEO's motivations could be more clearly articulated. While he expresses concern for little girls' dreams, the urgency of the situation feels somewhat overshadowed by the comedic elements. Balancing the humor with a deeper emotional connection to the stakes could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The introduction of the 'Mojo Dojo Casa Houses' is a clever play on the absurdity of the Kens' new identity, but it might benefit from a brief visual description or a line that highlights what makes these houses so appealing to children. This would help ground the audience in the reality of the situation and emphasize the contrast between the whimsical nature of Barbie Land and the corporate world.
  • The character of Executive #2 serves as a foil to the CEO, but their motivations and personality could be fleshed out further. Providing a bit more backstory or a distinct voice for this character would enhance the comedic tension and make their perspective more relatable.
  • The scene ends on a frantic note with the CEO urging the team to 'blade faster,' which is humorous but may leave the audience wanting more resolution. Consider adding a line or two that hints at the next steps the executives will take, creating a sense of anticipation for the following scenes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief visual description of the Mojo Dojo Casa Houses to help the audience understand their appeal and significance in the story.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by providing a clearer connection between the CEO's motivations and the impact of the situation on little girls, balancing humor with a deeper emotional resonance.
  • Flesh out Executive #2's character by giving them a distinct voice or backstory to make their perspective more relatable and engaging.
  • Smooth the transition between the warehouse and Venice Beach to maintain narrative flow, possibly by using a visual or auditory cue that links the two locations.
  • Add a line or two at the end of the scene that hints at the next steps the executives will take, creating anticipation for the audience and a sense of urgency in the narrative.



Scene 31 -  Kens, Barbies, and the Absurdity of Identity
EXT. BARBIE MARGOT’S DREAMHOUSE

Ken Ryan Gosling swings a golf club through some plastic
flowers in the yard. Barbie Margot reacts.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Look, I’m just hanging down with my
bro-homies having a brewski beer in
my Mojo Dojo Casa House.
(to Barbie Margot)
You can stay here if you want as my
bride-wife or my long-term-low-
commitment-distance girlfriend.
Now, brewski beer me.

BARBIE MARGOT
I will NOT brewski beer you.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
That’s fine. I mean, without you
Barbies running things, we can do
our hair however we like--

We see Kens with crazy patches of beard on their faces.

KEN KINGSLEY
I have hats.

Barbie Emma enters in a French Maid outfit, Barbie Hari in a
Naughty Schoolgirl outfit.

BARBIE EMMA
(brainwashed)
How are my hungry boys! Who wants
snacks?

BARBIE MARGOT
Barbie, I’m so glad to see you! Can
you believe what’s happening?!

BARBIE EMMA
(body snatched)
I know! Isn’t it great?

BARBIE HARI
(to the men)
Does anyone need a brewski-beer?

BARBIE MARGOT
What are you doing? You’re a
doctor!
72.


BARBIE HARI
Being a doctor was stressful and a
lot of work. I’m happy being
helpful decoration.

BARBIE EMMA
And Allan likes to help me give the
Kens foot-massages.

ALLAN
No, I don’t. I don’t like that.

Allan looks totally freaked out by what’s happening. Barbie
Sharon and Barbie Ana sit on a leather couch rubbing a Ken’s
feet.

BARBIES
We do!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I’m so blotto-faced day-drunk.

Kens cheer in agreement.

KEN KINGSLEY
Ditto same-same that!

BARBIE EMMA
I like not having to make any
decisions. It’s like a spa day for
my brain, forever.

BARBIE MARGOT
What’s wrong with her?!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Nothing. We just explained the
impeccable immaculate seamless
garment of logic that is Patriarchy
and she crumbled.

GLORIA
(figuring it out)
Oh my God. It’s like in the 1500s
with the indigenous people and
small pox. They had no defenses
against it.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(no idea what she’s
talking about)
Yeah!!

Ken Ryan Gosling climbs up onto the roof of his Hummer.
73.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
Buckle up, babe, because Barbie
Land is now Ken Land and it’ll be
just like Century City in Los
Angeles. Because they have it
figured out in Century City.
(describing a delicacy)
The minute you get out of your car,
you’re like I can’t believe how
great this place is.

Ken Simu nods vigorously. He LOVES it!

BARBIE MARGOT
No! They don’t. They don’t have it
figured out in Century City.
Because we failed them.

With sudden, personal intensity, almost crying, based on a
life-time of feeling like a second class citizen:

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No, you failed me! Out there I was
a SOMEBODY! I walked down the
street and people respected me just
for WHO I AM.
(to the Kens)
One lady even asked me for the
time.

KEN SIMU
NO WAY!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
WAY! Except for these dumb
technicalities like MBAs and
medical degrees and, I don’t know,
swim lessons, I could have ruled
THAT world.

He attempts to slide down the hood of the Hummer but his mink
sticks to the metal and he moves at a glacial pace. Finally
landing on the ground:

KEN RYAN GOSLING
But here I don’t need any of those
things. Here I’m just a DUDE! AND
THAT IS ENOUGH!

He raises a remote with a sense of triumph and switches the
channel on giant gross TV that has, until this point, been
playing romantic horse footage.
74.


BARBIE RITU (O.S.)
(brainwashed)
This has been such an exciting day!
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy","Drama"]

Summary In Barbie Margot's Dreamhouse yard, Ken Ryan Gosling enjoys his carefree lifestyle with fellow Kens, boasting about his new identity as a 'DUDE.' Barbie Margot confronts him about the brainwashing of other Barbies, like Barbie Emma and Barbie Hari, who have adopted submissive roles. While Ken revels in his freedom, Margot passionately argues against the superficiality of their situation. The scene highlights the absurdity of the Kens' behavior and the emotional struggle of the Barbies, culminating in Ken's triumphant declaration of identity, as brainwashed Barbie Ritu cheerfully comments on the day's excitement.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Humorous and emotional moments
Weaknesses
  • Slightly chaotic pacing
  • Some characters lack depth or development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, absurdity, and emotional depth to explore complex themes of identity and societal norms within the context of Barbie Land. The dialogue is witty and engaging, and the character interactions are both entertaining and thought-provoking.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring gender roles, identity, and societal expectations within the fantastical world of Barbie Land is innovative and thought-provoking. The scene effectively uses humor and absurdity to delve into complex themes in a unique and engaging way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is engaging and well-developed, with a clear conflict between Barbie and the Kens driving the narrative forward. The introduction of emotional moments adds depth to the story and keeps the audience invested in the characters' journeys.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a unique and fresh take on gender roles and societal structures, with absurd and surreal elements that add to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-defined and engaging, with distinct personalities that drive the conflict and humor of the story. The interactions between Barbie, Ken, and the other Barbies create dynamic and entertaining moments that add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes throughout the scene, particularly Ken's realization of the limitations of his patriarchal views and Barbie's resistance to societal expectations. These changes drive the emotional and thematic depth of the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert her independence and challenge the patriarchal system that has brainwashed the Barbies into submission. This reflects her deeper desire for autonomy and equality.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to resist the brainwashing and manipulation of the Kens and protect her fellow Barbies from falling into the same trap.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is engaging and drives the narrative forward, with a clear tension between Barbie and the Kens creating dynamic and entertaining moments. The emotional stakes add depth to the conflict and keep the audience invested in the characters' journeys.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing off against the brainwashed Barbies and the patriarchal Kens.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are relatively high, with conflicts between Barbie and the Kens, as well as the larger societal implications of gender roles and identity within Barbie Land. The emotional and thematic depth adds weight to the characters' struggles and realizations.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward, introducing and developing key conflicts, themes, and character arcs that propel the narrative towards its resolution. The engaging dialogue and character interactions keep the audience invested in the story's progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to its surreal and absurd elements, keeping the audience guessing about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the patriarchal values of the Kens and the protagonist's belief in equality and autonomy. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, with moments of humor, absurdity, and emotional depth resonating with the audience. The characters' struggles and realizations create a sense of empathy and connection, drawing the audience into the story.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and emotionally resonant, capturing the unique voices of each character and driving the plot forward. The banter between Barbie, Ken, and the other Barbies adds depth and humor to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, satire, and the conflict between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting the emotional intensity of the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is unconventional but effective in conveying the absurdity of the situation.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a non-traditional structure, reflecting the surreal and satirical nature of the story.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the Kens' new identities and the brainwashing of the Barbies, which aligns with the overall theme of gender roles and identity. However, the dialogue can feel overly expository at times, particularly when characters explain their feelings or the situation rather than showing it through actions or more subtle interactions.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's character is portrayed as both comedic and tragic, but the transition between these tones can be jarring. For instance, his declaration of being a 'DUDE' feels both triumphant and sad, yet the scene doesn't fully explore this duality. A deeper emotional connection could enhance the impact of his character's journey.
  • The introduction of Barbie Emma and Barbie Hari in their new roles is humorous but lacks depth. Their brainwashed state is clear, but the scene could benefit from a moment that highlights their past identities or a hint of their internal struggle, making their transformation more poignant.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly with the rapid-fire dialogue. While this can create a sense of chaos, it may also overwhelm the audience. Slowing down certain moments, especially during emotional beats, could allow for greater resonance and clarity.
  • The use of humor is strong, but some jokes may come off as forced or repetitive, particularly the 'brewski beer' references. Finding a balance between humor and the underlying serious themes could enhance the overall tone of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating more visual storytelling to convey the absurdity of the Kens' new identities. For example, showing their actions or interactions with props could illustrate their transformation without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Explore Ken Ryan Gosling's emotional journey more deeply. Perhaps include a moment where he reflects on what he has lost or how he truly feels about his new identity, allowing the audience to empathize with his character.
  • Add a brief flashback or a line that hints at Barbie Emma and Barbie Hari's previous identities, which could create a stronger emotional contrast with their current brainwashed states.
  • Adjust the pacing by allowing for pauses after significant lines or moments, giving the audience time to absorb the humor and the underlying themes. This could also help in building tension and emotional weight.
  • Revise some of the repetitive jokes to maintain humor while ensuring they don't detract from the scene's impact. Consider using different phrases or actions that convey the same comedic effect without feeling redundant.



Scene 32 -  Triumph and Despair in Barbie Land
EXT. CAPITOL STEPS. ON THE TV. DAY

A Newswoman (Barbie Ritu) interviews Ken Scott.

KEN SCOTT
It sure has! And please call me Mr.
Ken President Prime Minister Man.

BARBIE RITU
Let’s recap all the amazing changes
and innovations thanks to the Kens!

CUT TO: THEATRE

Nobel prize ceremony. All the contestants are Kens and all
the judges are Ken.

ANNOUNCER
The Nobel Prize in Horses goes to
“KEN!”

It’s Ken Ryan Gosling. He winks as he accepts his prize.

INT. BARBIE KEN OVAL OFFICE. DAY

Ken Scott, who is president, signs a bill into law with all
of the Ken senators standing around him.

INT. SUPREME COURT. DAY

Ken Kingsley argues in front of the Ken Supreme Court. The
Gallery erupts into rapturous applause.

EXT. PINK HOUSE. DAY

BARBIE RITU
And now you’re making all of this
permanent with a special election
to change the constitution!

KEN SCOTT
(taking the microphone)
That’s right, in 48 hours all the
Kens will go to the polls and vote
to change the constitution to a
government for the Kens, of the
Kens and by the Kens!
75.


EXT. MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE. SAME

Ken Ryan Gosling turns triumphantly to Barbie Margot, but
also kind of wanting her approval.

BARBIE MARGOT
You can’t do this. This is Barbie
Land. The Barbies worked hard and
dreamed hard to make it everything
it is. You can’t just UNDO it in a
day!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Literally and figuratively watch
me.
(echoing Barbie from
earlier in the movie)
Now, if you’ll excuse me. This is
MY Mojo Dojo Casa House. Not
Barbie’s Mojo Dojo Casa House.
Right?

Barbie Margot looks devastated.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(quiet and sincere)
See how it feels? It’s not fun, is
it?

ALL THE KENS
It’s boy’s night!

A catch in his throat, this almost hurts him to say:

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Every night is boy’s night.

Ken Ryan Gosling feels for her, but then puts on sunglasses
to hide his emotion. Then he puts sunglasses on top of his
sunglasses and walks away. Cold as ice.

EXT. CUL-DE-SAC. DAY

Barbie Margot runs from the house screaming. Gloria and Sasha
follow. As she reaches the lawn, clothes and accessories come
raining down. Ken is tossing all her stuff off the third
floor.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
And take your lady fashions with
you!

He identifies each clothing set as it flies through the air.
76.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
Take your “Celebrate Disco” bell
bottoms, take your “Ice Capades
Pretty Practice Suit and Dazzling
Show Skirt”...

Gloria surreptitiously picks up a few great pieces.

GLORIA
These are archival!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
...your “Pajama Jam in Amsterdam”
set AND your “Pretty Paisley
Palazzo Pants” and get OUT.

He is angry but he still loves all the clothes and
obsessively calls them by their proper names, of course.

BARBIE MARGOT
NOT THE PALAZZOS!!!

Ken Ryan Gosling collapses in a pool of emotion. Barbie
Margot runs crying. Gloria and Sasha follow. Gloria tries to
comfort her. Barbie Margot turns on Gloria, angry:

BARBIE MARGOT
Why did you wish me to your messed
up world using your complicated
human thoughts and feelings?!
Barbie Land was perfect before and
I was perfect before!

GLORIA
I’m so sorry I wasn’t trying to do
anything--

Sasha steps in, defending Gloria, who is touched.

SASHA
Don’t apologize -- Don’t blame my
Mom. Maybe you wished us? Maybe
it’s your fault, Barbie.

BARBIE MARGOT
I didn’t wish anything! I’ve never
wanted anything to change.

GLORIA
Well, honey, that’s life. It’s all
change.
77.


BARBIE MARGOT
Well that’s just terrifying. I
don’t want that. Not MY life. I’m
just going sit here and wait and
hope that one of the more
leadership oriented Barbies snaps
out of it and does something about
this whole mess.

Barbie Margot drops listlessly into a sitting position, tips
over and lies flat like a doll.

GLORIA BARBIE MARGOT
I really understand this JUST LEAVE ME HERE! Go back
feeling. It’s basically like to your messed up world and
being a human person all the leave me to mine.
time--

SASHA
So you’re just going to give up? I
almost felt bad for you, but you
are exactly what I thought you
were.

GLORIA
Come on, honey, let’s go

SASHA BARBIE MARGOT
How do we even-- Do everything we did,
reversed.

Gloria and Sasha walk away.

SASHA
She doesn’t deserve you.

Barbie Margot is now actually face down on the lawn.

BARBIE MARGOT
This is the lowest I’ve ever been.
Emotionally AND physically.

CUT TO:

A COMMERCIAL ON TV. It’s all bright and happy except for the
dolls are really going through it. They look wrecked and sad.

ADVERTISING VOICE
Ok, kids! It’s time to run out and
get the NEW Depression Barbie!
(MORE)
78.
ADVERTISING VOICE (CONT’D)
She wears sweatpants all day and
night, she spent seven hours today
on Instagram looking at her
estranged best friend’s engagement
photos while eating a family sized
bag of Starbursts and now her jaw
is KILLING her and she's going to
watch the BBC's Pride and Prejudice
for the seventh time until she
falls asleep. (Anxiety, panic
attacks and OCD sold separately).
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In a pivotal scene, President Ken Scott celebrates the Kens' newfound power through a news interview and a Nobel Prize ceremony. Meanwhile, Ken Ryan Gosling revels in his dominance, leading to a heated confrontation with Barbie Margot, who feels betrayed by the changes. As Ken Ryan Gosling discards Barbie's belongings in a fit of anger, Barbie Margot collapses in despair, arguing with Gloria and Sasha about the devastation in their world. The scene concludes with a stark contrast, showcasing a commercial for 'Depression Barbie,' highlighting the emotional turmoil faced by the characters.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and emotion
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling exploration of change and identity
Weaknesses
  • Barbie's emotional breakdown may border on melodrama
  • Ken's behavior may come across as one-dimensional

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor and emotional depth, creating a compelling narrative that engages the audience. The exploration of character relationships and the impact of change adds depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Land undergoing a drastic transformation and the resulting emotional fallout for the characters is engaging and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores themes of change, identity, and resilience.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Barbie and Ken, the emotional turmoil experienced by Barbie, and the shifting dynamics within Barbie Land. It advances the story by introducing new challenges and character developments.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh take on gender stereotypes, political satire, and societal norms. The characters' actions and dialogue are unique and unexpected, adding a layer of authenticity to the absurd premise.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Barbie, Ken, Gloria, and Sasha, are well-developed and undergo significant emotional arcs. Their interactions and reactions drive the narrative forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters, especially Barbie and Ken, undergo significant changes in the scene. Barbie experiences emotional turmoil and a loss of identity, while Ken asserts his dominance and embraces a new persona. These changes drive the character arcs and add depth to the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his power and control over the society, showcasing his desire for dominance and authority. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition, as well as his fear of losing control and relevance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to change the constitution to establish a government for the Kens, reflecting his immediate challenge of maintaining his power and influence in the society.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene features a high level of internal and external conflict, as Barbie faces emotional turmoil, Ken asserts his dominance, and Gloria and Sasha navigate their relationships with Barbie. The conflict drives the narrative forward and adds tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Barbie Margot challenging Ken Ryan Gosling's authority and values. Her resistance adds conflict and tension to the story, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 8

The scene features high stakes for the characters, as Barbie grapples with the loss of her identity and the changing dynamics in Barbie Land. The emotional turmoil, conflict, and uncertainty add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, character developments, and emotional stakes. It sets up the next phase of the narrative by establishing the consequences of a transformed Barbie Land and the challenges faced by the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character actions, surprising plot twists, and satirical take on societal norms. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will react or what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between individualism and collectivism, as Barbie Margot represents the values of individuality and personal identity, while Ken Ryan Gosling embodies the ideals of conformity and uniformity. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about leadership and societal structure.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, eliciting feelings of sadness, empathy, and conflict from the audience. The characters' struggles and the consequences of change resonate on an emotional level, drawing viewers into the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the humor, conflict, and emotional turmoil experienced by the characters. It captures their personalities and motivations, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its absurd and humorous premise, exaggerated character actions, and witty dialogue. The conflict and tension between the characters keep the audience invested in the story and eager to see how the situation unfolds.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor with tension, dialogue with action, and character development with plot progression. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and action descriptions. The visual elements are well-defined, enhancing the reader's understanding of the setting and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions, character introductions, and dialogue sequences. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the story.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the Kens' takeover of Barbie Land, showcasing the contrast between their newfound power and Barbie Margot's emotional turmoil. However, the pacing feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the celebratory moments to Barbie Margot's despair. This could benefit from a more gradual build-up to emphasize the emotional stakes.
  • The dialogue is sharp and humorous, particularly Ken Ryan Gosling's over-the-top declarations. However, some lines, like 'Every night is boy's night,' could be more impactful if they were delivered with a stronger emotional weight, reflecting Ken's internal conflict rather than just a comedic punchline.
  • Barbie Margot's emotional breakdown is a pivotal moment, but it feels somewhat abrupt. The scene could delve deeper into her feelings of loss and betrayal, allowing the audience to connect more with her plight. This could be achieved through more internal monologue or visual storytelling that reflects her emotional state.
  • The introduction of the 'Depression Barbie' commercial at the end is a clever and darkly humorous touch, but it may feel jarring to some viewers. It could be more effective if it tied back to Barbie Margot's journey more explicitly, perhaps by showing her influence on the creation of such a product or her own struggles reflected in it.
  • The interactions between Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha are crucial for character development, but they could be more nuanced. For instance, Sasha's defense of Gloria feels a bit forced; exploring their relationship dynamics further could add depth to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing during the transition from the celebratory moments to Barbie Margot's emotional breakdown. This could involve adding more dialogue or visual cues that highlight her growing concern and confusion.
  • Enhance Ken Ryan Gosling's emotional conflict by allowing him to express more vulnerability in his dialogue. This could create a more complex character and deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements that reflect Barbie Margot's emotional state, such as changes in the environment or her physical posture, to convey her despair more effectively.
  • Revisit the 'Depression Barbie' commercial to ensure it resonates more with Barbie Margot's journey. Perhaps include a line that connects her feelings to the product, reinforcing the theme of emotional struggle.
  • Explore the relationships between Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha more deeply. Adding layers to their interactions could enhance the emotional stakes and provide a richer context for Barbie Margot's breakdown.



Scene 33 -  Return to Barbie Land
EXT. BARBIE KEN LAND STREET. DAY.

Weird Barbie patrols in a vehicle version of her house,
constructed from abandoned Barbie cars. It’s kind of like a
tank, very Road Warrior.

It rumbles past a Ken taking down “Barbie Way” and putting up
a “Ken Avenue Boulevard Road Mews” sign. They screech to a
halt beside a catatonic Barbie Margot:

WEIRD BARBIE
Got a live one here!

Earring Magic Ken and Barbie Video Girl pick Barbie Margot
up. From Barbie Margot’s point of view we see Weird Barbie.

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m like you now. Ugly and
unwanted.

WEIRD BARBIE
Thanks, kid.

Barbie Margot is lifted into the amazing, cock-eyed vehicle.

EXT. TRANSPORTATION MONTAGE

TANDEM BIKE. With the CEO at the front and Aaron Dinkens in
the back, Mattel rides a 12 person tandem bike on their
journey to Barbie Land!

MATTEL CEO
(shouting to the group)
Isn’t this great!! Wait until you
see the boat!

INT/EXT. BARBIE CAR. OPEN ROAD.

Gloria and Sasha are driving down the Barbie highway in
Barbie’s car. Gloria and Sasha (!!!) sing at the top of their
lungs to the Indigo Girls.
79.


GLORIA AND SASHA
“I went to the doctor / I went to
the mountains / I looked to the
children / I drank from the
fountains...”

Sasha looks almost wistfully at the retreating landscape of
Barbie Land.

Suddenly the song on the radio is cut out by a needle
scratch. Gloria frowns. A Ken comes over the airwaves.

KEN RADIO DJ
We interrupt this broadcast to
bring you our NEW radio station
KKEN 107.5. Playing Ken’s favorite
song over and over again!

And then suddenly Matchbox 20’s “Push” erupts from the
speakers. Allan pops up in the backseat:

ALLAN
TURN THIS SONG OFF FOR CHRISTSAKE!

Gloria and Sasha scream their heads off and Allan screams at
their screaming. So much screaming! They skid off the road,
crashing down a hill, flipping over a few times and landing
upright on another road. (SAME SHOT AS THE FIRST TIME.)
Except for this time, the car lands with no one in it, and
ONE second later, right beside the car, in the same
configuration, land Gloria, Sasha, & Allan.

MATCHBOX 20
(singing)
“I want to push you around. Well, I
will, well, I will...”

Still hysterical, getting to their feet:

SASHA
Who are you?!

ALLAN
I’m Allan!

GLORIA
You ARE Allan. That’s great!

ALLAN
Don’t tell the Kens, I’m trying to
escape. I cannot sit on ONE MORE
LEATHER COUCH. It’s gonna break my
SPIRIT.
80.


Up ahead the Kens are building a wall. It’s partially
constructed, and hard hat Kens hammer and dig.

ALLAN
Once they figure out how to build
that wall sideways and not just up,
no one will be able to get in or
out.

It’s true: they’re building the wall STRAIGHT up, not across.

ALLAN
If we want to leave we better make
a run for it.

GLORIA
Allan, you can’t go. Having a
Barbie in the real world is what
caused all these problems in the
first place.

ALLAN
Not one person would care if Allan
was in the real world. In fact it’s
happened before...
(a secret)
All of NSYNC... Allan.

Off their looks--

ALLAN
Yes, even him. So... COME ON!

KEN CONSTRUCTION WORKER
Hey, you there!

Allan casually stands and walks towards the Kens.

ALLAN
(to Gloria and Sasha)
Just get in the car and keep it
singing... be ready for anything.
(to the Ken)
Hey man!

KEN CONSTRUCTION WORKER
Who are you?

ALLAN
I’m Allan, I’m Ken’s buddy? All his
clothes fit me!!
81.


Allan charges at the Kens and takes them all on, rather
impressively. Gloria and Sasha scramble to the car. Sasha
lands in the driver’s seat and REVS:

GLORIA
You don’t have a driver’s license!

SASHA
And this car doesn’t have an
engine!

Sasha looks beyond the wall and back to the Real World - and
then in the other direction, back to Barbie Land.

GLORIA
What are you doing?! Let’s GO!

Sasha looks at Gloria. And then, inspired:

SASHA
We have to go back. Barbie Land
needs saving. Barbie needs saving.

GLORIA
But you hate Barbie!

SASHA
But you don’t! You’ve always
believed in what she could be.

GLORIA
Well I was wrong. Barbie gave up.
The Kens won.

SASHA
Mom, you have to try! Even if you
can’t make it perfect you can make
it better.

GLORIA
(breaking)
I can’t make anything better! I’m
the one who ruined Barbie Land with
my stupid drawings in the first
place.

SASHA
(firm)
They’re not stupid! They’re
amazing...

GLORIA
(tearing up)
You like my drawings?
82.


SASHA
They’re weird and dark and crazy.
Everything you pretend not to be.

GLORIA
I am... I am weird, dark and crazy.

Allan punches the last Ken and takes a threatening step
toward the remaining beleaguered Kens.

ALLAN
You want some more Allan?!

And he turns and runs back to the car.

ALLAN
We have to get out of here RIGHT
NOW!

Gloria hesitates.

GLORIA
Shut up Allan! We’re going back.
Let’s go help my doll.

Gloria and Sasha beam at each other. Sasha steps on the gas,
turns the wheel and they swing back toward Barbie Land.

ALLAN
I’ll never get out of here.

SASHA
Where can we find Barbie?

ALLAN
There’s only one place she’d be.
Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary Weird Barbie patrols in a makeshift vehicle and finds a catatonic Barbie Margot, who feels unwanted. They rescue her and head towards Barbie Land. Meanwhile, Gloria and Sasha are singing in their car when a Ken DJ causes chaos, leading to a crash. They emerge confused and meet Allan, who wants to escape the Kens. Despite Gloria's guilt about Barbie Land's problems, Sasha encourages her to return and help Barbie. The scene ends with their decision to go back, highlighting their emotional connection and determination.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character development
  • Creative concept
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too surreal for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, emotion, and fantastical elements to create an engaging and impactful narrative. The dialogue is witty, the characters are well-developed, and the plot progresses in an intriguing way.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the rescue mission to save Barbie Land, is creative and engaging. It introduces elements of fantasy and adventure while exploring deeper themes of identity and redemption.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is compelling, with high stakes and a clear goal driving the action forward. The conflict between characters adds tension, and the resolution sets up future developments effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its imaginative world-building, unconventional character dynamics, and unexpected plot twists. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and freshness to familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and undergo significant growth throughout the scene. Their interactions and dialogue reveal depth and complexity, adding to the overall impact of the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes during the scene, particularly Sasha and Gloria, as they confront their beliefs and motivations. These changes drive the narrative forward and add depth to the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront her own insecurities and self-doubt, as reflected in Barbie Margot's dialogue about feeling ugly and unwanted. This reflects deeper themes of self-acceptance and identity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to save Barbie Land and Barbie herself from the control of the Kens. This reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming the oppressive societal structure and restoring balance to the world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, driving the action forward and adding tension to the narrative. The characters' internal and external conflicts create a sense of urgency and importance.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Kens serving as formidable obstacles to the protagonist's goals. The uncertainty of the characters' fates and the escalating conflict create a sense of danger and suspense.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the challenge of saving Barbie Land from the influence of the Kens. The outcome of their mission will have significant consequences for both worlds.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward, setting up new challenges and developments for the characters. The rescue mission to save Barbie Land propels the narrative in an exciting direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected plot twists, quirky character interactions, and surreal setting. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the story will unfold next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between conformity and individuality, as represented by the Barbies and Kens. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about self-expression and freedom.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, blending humor with moments of desperation and inspiration. The characters' struggles and growth evoke empathy and connection from the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important character traits and motivations. It adds humor and emotion to the scene, enhancing the overall storytelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and emotional depth. The characters' conflicts and motivations keep the audience invested in the outcome, creating a sense of suspense and excitement.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing moments of tension and humor to maintain the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences adds to the scene's effectiveness and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is dynamic and visually engaging, with clear scene transitions and descriptive language that enhances the reader's immersion in the world of Barbie Ken Land. It aligns with the genre's expectations while adding a unique flair.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a non-linear format that enhances the unpredictability and tension of the narrative. It deviates from traditional storytelling norms, adding a sense of urgency and intrigue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity of the situation in Barbie Land, particularly with the juxtaposition of Weird Barbie's vehicle and the construction of the wall by the Kens. This visual contrast enhances the comedic tone while also highlighting the chaos that has ensued in Barbie Land.
  • The dialogue between Allan, Gloria, and Sasha is engaging and showcases their personalities well. However, the pacing feels rushed at times, particularly during the transition from the car crash to the dialogue about saving Barbie. This could benefit from a more gradual build-up to allow the emotional stakes to resonate more with the audience.
  • Allan's character provides comic relief, but his motivations could be clearer. While he expresses a desire to escape, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into his emotional state and how he feels about the changes in Barbie Land. This would add depth to his character and make his actions more impactful.
  • The emotional conflict between Gloria and Sasha is compelling, but it could be strengthened by incorporating more backstory about their relationship with Barbie. This would help the audience understand why Sasha is so passionate about saving Barbie and why Gloria feels guilty about her past actions.
  • The scene ends on a hopeful note with Sasha's determination to return to Barbie Land, but it could benefit from a stronger visual or emotional cue to signify this shift. Perhaps a moment of connection between Gloria and Sasha could be emphasized to highlight their united front against the challenges ahead.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing during the transition from the car crash to the dialogue to allow the emotional stakes to resonate more with the audience.
  • Add a brief flashback or dialogue that provides context for Allan's character and his feelings about the changes in Barbie Land, enhancing his motivations.
  • Incorporate more backstory about Gloria and Sasha's relationship with Barbie to deepen the emotional conflict and clarify their motivations.
  • Strengthen the emotional connection between Gloria and Sasha at the end of the scene to emphasize their united front and determination to save Barbie.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a visual cue or symbolic gesture that signifies the shift in Gloria's perspective, reinforcing her commitment to helping Barbie.



Scene 34 -  Empowerment in the Weirhouse
INT. WEIRD BARBIE'S WEIRDHOUSE. DAY

Barbie Margot has joined Weird Barbie and her motley crew -
the reject Barbies, Earring Magic Ken, Sugar Daddy Ken,
Growing up Skipper -- her boobs grow when she lifts her arm --
Teen Talk Barbie, Tanner the pooping Dog, Video Girl Barbie.

Barbie Margot is lying on the floor, unable to do anything,
totally without any will to live. Teen Talk Barbie and Video
Girl Barbie attempt to un-brainwash Barbie Alexandra.

TEEN TALK BARBIE
(to Barbie Alexandra)
You’re a writer. This is your Nobel
Prize. Remember?
83.


Barbie Alexandra goes into one of those acceptance speeches
women give, totally self-effacing and not embracing the win.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
Oh my God, I don’t even know how I
got here. I don’t deserve this! I’d
like to thank Ken.

WEIRD BARBIE
(entering the room)
It’s pointless trying to deprogram
her. I’ve already tried.
(looking at Barbie Margot)
The fork in my soup is this, Barb:
why didn’t the brainwashing work on
you?

BARBIE MARGOT
(still face down)
My exposure to Patriarchy in the
real world made me immune. Either
you’re brainwashed or you’re weird
and ugly. There is no in-between.

WEIRD BARBIE
Sing it sister.
(to the group)
Get ready to live in the shadows
and on the margins because in 48
hours Barbie Land becomes Ken Land.

They hear voices. Everyone screams and then tries to hide,
badly. Except for Barbie Margot, who doesn’t move. Other
Barbies step over her. Some try to freeze like statues.

WEIRD BARBIE
It’s the Kens! They’ve found us!

The sound of footsteps grow louder. Until finally Gloria,
Sasha and Allan are standing there.

WEIRD BARBIE
HUMANS!

ALLAN
AND ALLAN!

The lights go on and they all emerge out of their random
hiding places. Barbie Margot half clocks Gloria and Sasha and
tries to pull herself away, out of their sight.
84.


WEIRD BARBIE
(to Sasha and Gloria)
Welcome, welcome to my Weirdhouse -
I’m Weird Barbie. I’m in the
splits, have a funky hair cut and I
smell like basement.

GLORIA
OH MY GOD I HAD A WEIRD BARBIE!

WEIRD BARBIE
Yeah you did.

GLORIA
YOU MAKE THEM WEIRD BY PLAYING TOO
HARD!

Again, we take in the group as Gloria identifies each one --

GLORIA
That’s Sugar Daddy Ken! And Earring
Magic Ken! Mattel discontinued
them...

SASHA
Sugar Daddy Ken? WTF?

SUGAR DADDY KEN
No, no, I’m not a Sugar Daddy. This
is Sugar.
(holding up a dog)
And I’m her Daddy.

EARRING MAGIC KEN
And I have an earring. A magic
earring.

GLORIA
(to Sasha)
Yeah, those were actual Kens.
(identifying all of them)
And-- more discontinued Barbies!!
Growing Up Skipper?! May I?
(to Sasha)
Watch this!

Gloria lifts Growing Up Skipper’s arm and her boobs inflate.
This is as weird as it sounds.

GLORIA
See! Her boobs grow!
85.


SASHA
(aghast)
Why would they do that?

Gloria continues down the line of discontinued Barbies.

GLORIA
And Barbie Video Girl!

BARBIE VIDEO GIRL
I have a TV in my back. You know
whose dream that is? Nobody. It’s
nobody’s dream.

WEIRD BARBIE
And that’s Barbie Barbie, of
course... she’s not dead she’s just
having an existential crisis.

Gloria and Sasha walk over to Barbie Margot who hasn’t gotten
very far. She just presses her face to the ground.

Gloria turns her over. Barbie Margot hides her face with her
hands. Gloria gently moves them away.

And there is unadorned Barbie Margot, no makeup, nothing
special just her (which WE KNOW is INSANELY BEAUTIFUL, don’t
worry.) Barbie Margot totally falls apart weeping. Like a
toddler crying.

GLORIA
What’s wrong?

BARBIE MARGOT
(between sobs)
I’m... not... pretty... any...
more...

GLORIA
What? You’re SO pretty.

BARBIE MARGOT
(shaking her head)
Not “Stereotypical Barbie”
pretty...

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
(interrupting)
Note to the filmmakers: You should
have never cast Margot Robbie if
you wanted to make this point.

GLORIA
You are beautiful.
86.


BARBIE MARGOT
... it’s not just that... I’m not
smart enough to be interesting...

GLORIA
But you ARE smart.

BARBIE MARGOT
I can’t do brain surgery, I’ve
never flown a plan, I’m not
president, no one on the Supreme
Court is me... I’m just... not...
good... enough...for... anything
...

She sobs bitterly. Gloria shakes her head, feels deeply:

GLORIA
IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE A
WOMAN! You are so beautiful and so
smart and it kills me that you
don’t think you’re good enough.
Like we have to always be
extraordinary and somehow we’re
always doing it wrong. You’re
supposed to be THIN but not TOO
THIN and you can never say you want
to be THIN you have to say you want
to be HEALTHY but you also have to
BE thin. You have to have money but
you can’t ask for money because
that’s crass. You have to be a boss
but you can’t be mean. You’re
supposed to lead but you can’t
squash other people’s ideas. You’re
supposed to LOVE being a mother but
don’t talk about your kids all the
damn time. You’re supposed to be a
career woman but always be looking
out for other people. You have to
answer for men’s bad behavior,
which is INSANE, but if you point
that out then you’re accused of
complaining. You’re supposed to be
pretty for men but not SO pretty
that you tempt them too much or
threaten other women. You’re
supposed to be part of the
sisterhood but also stand out but
also always be grateful. You have
to never get old never be rude
never show off never be selfish
never fall down never fail never
show fear never get out of line.
(MORE)
87.
GLORIA (CONT’D)
It’s too hard, it’s too
contradictory and no one says thank
you or gives you a medal, and in
fact, it turns out, somehow, that
not only are you doing it all wrong
but that everything is also YOUR
fault. I’m just so damn tired of
watching myself and every single
other women tie ourselves in knots
so that people will like us. And if
all that is also true for a doll
just representing a woman then I
don’t even know!

Exhausted, she sits down. Allan is in tears, they all are.
Maybe a slow clap? And then:

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
Wait, I did write a book.
(rubbing her eyes)
It was like I was in some dream
where I was somehow really invested
in the Zack Snyder cut of Justice
League.
(shaking her head, looking
to Gloria)
But what you said - it broke me out
of it.

GLORIA
Really?!

WEIRD BARBIE
She’s back! You’re back!

Sasha looks at her mom like she’s seeing her for the first
time. She is proud.

Barbie Margot stands up. And we MOVE in on her pure, tear-
streaked face.

BARBIE MARGOT
By giving voice to the cognitive
dissonance required to be a woman
under the patriarchy, you robbed it
of it’s power.

Gloria, Sasha and everyone else turns to Barbie Margot:

BARBIE MARGOT
(surprised and impressed)
Woah, I just said all of that.
88.


SASHA
Hell yes, White Savior Barbie!

BARBIE MARGOT
No, it was your Mom. She did the
saving.

Sasha fist bumps her. Barbie Margot is amazed. She suddenly
has new authority, a deeper voice, from a place of real
knowing, like Olivia de Havilland at the end of “The
Heiress.” (Now, go watch that movie!)

BARBIE MARGOT
We have to stop the Kens.
(to Gloria)
You’ve got to say those things to
all the other Barbies. That’s the
key.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
How will we get them away from
their Kens?

SASHA
We have experience with a world
like this one.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to Weird Barbie)
Do you have a map of Barbie Land?

WEIRD BARBIE
(triumphantly)
What do you think.

A large 3D map of Barbie Land opens up (like a Murphy bed)
from the wall.

CUT TO: HEIST MONTAGE. We see the execution of the plan as
Barbie Margot, Gloria and Sasha lay out the details. (You
know that thing, you’ve seen it in every heist movie ever!)

BARBIE MARGOT
Here’s the deal. It’s not just
about how they see us, it’s about
how they see themselves.

GLORIA
Ken Land contains the seeds of its
own destruction.

BARBIE MARGOT
First we have to get the Barbies
away from their Kens.
(MORE)
89.
BARBIE MARGOT (CONT’D)
We can use a decoy Barbie who
pretends to be brainwashed.
(to Barbie Alexandra)
That should be you.

SASHA
We’ll distract them by pretending
to be helpless and confused. Kens
can’t resist a damsel in distress.

GLORIA
You have to make them believe that
you’re complacent and that they
have the power. And when their
guard is down you can take the
power back.

CUT TO: The Barbie Busytown Street. The “heist Barbies” pile
out of Weird Barbie’s tank-car. Barbie Alexandra sits in a
cafe on her laptop. She nods to the “heist Barbies” as Ken
Simu strolls by with Barbie Issa.

KEN SIMU
The influence that Porsche 356 has
had on the motoring world as a
whole cannot be overstated.

BARBIE ISSA
The 356! How could I be so
ignorant?!

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
(theatrically)
Ugh Photoshop is so hard! I just
don’t understand how to use the
Select tool!

Ken Simu immediately leaves Barbie Issa’s side for Barbie
Alexandra.

KEN SIMU
Oh, honey, you can only use the
Select tool if the layer is
highlighted. Here, let me show
you...

He wraps his arms around her to use her keyboard.

BARBIE ALEXANDRA
Ugh my tiny head is just swimming
with technical jargon like color
bands and magnetic lassos...
90.


BARBIE MARGOT (V.O.)
Once they’re engaged, we’ll spirit
away their Barbie and deprogram her-

We see Barbie Margot and Allan hurrying Barbie Issa away from
the scene. She’s thrown into the Weird Barbie tank-car and
Gloria de-programs her:

GLORIA
(at Barbie Issa)
... you’re supposed to be their
mommies but not remind them of
their mommy, any power you have
must be masked under a giggle...

This snaps Barbie Issa out of her stupor.

BARBIE ISSA
(blinks)
What happened? One day I was
president, the next thing I know I
was cutting a Ken’s steak for
him...?

GLORIA
Welcome back, Madame President.

BARBIE MARGOT (V.O.)
And then we’ll recruit the now
unbrainwashed Barbies to our cause.
They can be the new decoys.

INTERCUT THE PLAN. The Barbies distract the Kens by
pretending to be helpless and then Gloria deprograms them.

GLORIA (V.O.)
Tell him you’ve never seen the
Godfather and you’d love him to
explain it to you.

In a Ken Mojo Dojo Casa House, Ken Kingsley sits with Barbie
Sharon in front of one of the giant TVs talking over the
movie.

BARBIE ISSA
Are you watching the Godfather?

KEN KINGSLEY
It’s the “Godfather.”

BARBIE ISSA
I’ve never seen it!
91.


The now de-brainwashed Barbie Issa sits beside him, feigning
total interest.

KEN KINGSLEY
Oh my god you’ve never seen The
Godfather? The movie is a rich
blend of Coppola’s aesthetic genius
and a triumph of Robert Evans and
the architecture of the 70’s studio
system--

She nods and smiles and while he’s busy blathering on about
the movie, Barbie Margot and Weird Barbie gently “kidnap”
Barbie Sharon, and lead her to Gloria who does another
version of her speech.

GLORIA
You have to reject men’s advances
without damaging their egos,
because if you say yes to them,
you’re a tramp, and if you say no
to them, you’re a prude.

Barbie Sharon blinks, awakened.

BARBIE SHARON
I don’t want to touch a foot.

GLORIA
No, you don’t.

SASHA (V.O.)
Be confused about money.

Now it’s Barbie Sharon helping! She sits with a a bunch of
financial documents.

BARBIE SHARON
Oh, I just have all my money in a
Savings account--

KEN SCOTT
(opening a briefcase)
That’s totally wrong. You need
treasury bonds, corporate bonds.
CDs.

BARBIE SHARON
No one has CDs anymore!

KEN SCOTT
Oh sweetheart you are just so cute
when you’re confused.
(MORE)
92.
KEN SCOTT (CONT’D)
But no, not music CDs, CD stands
for Certificate of Deposit which is
issued by the bank to...

They steal away HIS Barbie (Barbie Emma, in her maid outfit)
and deprogram her.

BARBIE EMMA
What am I wearing?

And now Barbie Emma browses through albums while Ken Ncuti
puts on a record, with Barbie Ana by his side.

BARBIE EMMA
I know what I like, but I don’t
know albums--

KEN NCUTI
(abandoning Barbie Ana)
Oh, my God, you’ve never heard of
Pavement?!

BARBIE EMMA
It’s got a pretty cover--

KEN NCUTI
Stephen Malkmus really harnessed
the acerbic talk singing of Lou
Reed with post punk influences such
as Wire and The Fall.

GLORIA (V.O.)
And then there are some classics of
the trade.

Barbie Ana pretends she’s drowning, by just lying down by the
side of the ocean. A Ken leans down to rescue her.

BARBIE ANA
(batting her eyelashes)
You might have to give me mouth to
mouth.

And again the liberated Barbies steal away Barbie Hari.
Gloria ranting. Barbie Hari snapping out of it:

Then she executes the classic glasses gag:

BARBIE HARI
Gee I am so awkward and don’t feel
pretty at all and will anyone ever
like me?
93.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
May I...?

He takes off her glasses for her.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
There! Now I can see your beautiful
face!

GLORIA (V.O.)
And then there’s pretending to be
terrible at every sport, ever.

CUT TO: Helpful Sports Montage! Barbie Sharon pretends to not
be able to hit a golf ball. Ken Scott approaches, wraps his
arms around her:

KEN SCOTT
Here let me show you--

Barbie Alexandra tennis swing. Ken Kingsley arm wrap.

KEN KINGSLEY
Here let me show you--

Barbie Hari baseball swing. Ken Simu arm wrap.

KEN SIMU
Here let me show you--

Barbie Ana pulls the arrow back. Ken Ncuti arm wrap.

KEN NCUTI
Here let me show you --

All the Kens at once, maybe in a “Team Photo” type thing:

KENS
Here let us show you!

BARBIE MARGOT (V.O.)
We’ll do this until every single
Barbie is deprogrammed and ready to
take back Barbie Land.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In Weird Barbie's Weirhouse, Barbie Margot and a group of rejected Barbies grapple with feelings of inadequacy and brainwashing by the Kens. As Teen Talk Barbie and Video Girl Barbie support Barbie Alexandra in reclaiming her identity, Weird Barbie questions Barbie Margot's immunity to brainwashing. The arrival of Gloria, Sasha, and Allan brings a turning point, as Gloria delivers a heartfelt speech about the pressures women face, inspiring Barbie Margot and helping Barbie Alexandra regain her confidence. The scene culminates in a sense of solidarity and a plan to reclaim Barbie Land from the Kens.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Empowering themes
  • Character development
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Potential for tonal shifts
  • Complexity of societal themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, blending humor with emotional depth and empowerment. It effectively tackles complex themes while keeping the audience engaged and entertained.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of deprogramming the brainwashed Barbies and reclaiming Barbie Land is innovative and engaging. It delves into deep societal issues while maintaining a sense of humor and whimsy.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the story, setting up the conflict between the Barbies and the Kens, and driving the narrative forward. It establishes high stakes and sets the stage for character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and original take on societal expectations and gender roles through the lens of Barbie dolls. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and resonate with larger cultural issues.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene undergo significant development, particularly Barbie Margot, Gloria, and the brainwashed Barbies. Their interactions and growth drive the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly Barbie Margot, who finds new strength and purpose. The brainwashed Barbies also experience a transformation as they break free from their programming.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to overcome her feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, particularly in terms of her appearance and intelligence. She struggles with societal expectations and the pressure to be 'perfect' in every way.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to deprogram the other Barbies and liberate them from the brainwashing they have undergone. This reflects the immediate challenge of resisting societal norms and reclaiming their agency.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between the brainwashed Barbies and the Kens, as well as the internal struggles of the characters, adds depth and tension to the scene. It drives the narrative forward and engages the audience.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Barbies facing internal and external challenges related to societal expectations and brainwashing. The audience is kept on their toes as the characters navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters work to reclaim Barbie Land from the Kens and challenge societal norms. The outcome will have a significant impact on their lives and the world they inhabit.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by resolving conflicts, introducing new challenges, and setting up future developments. It propels the narrative towards a climactic resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to its blend of absurd humor, emotional depth, and social critique. The unexpected twists and character revelations keep the audience engaged and interested.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the expectations and limitations placed on women by society. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about beauty, intelligence, and worth, highlighting the contradictions and pressures women face in trying to meet societal standards.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of empathy, empowerment, and reflection. The characters' struggles and triumphs resonate with the audience, creating a memorable and moving experience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, poignant, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys the themes of empowerment and self-discovery.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, social commentary, and character development. The heist-like plan adds tension and excitement, while the emotional moments resonate with the audience.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of humor, emotion, and action. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions keeps the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, with a heist-like plan unfolding to deprogram the Barbies. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and humor.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil of Barbie Margot and the other Barbies, showcasing their struggles with identity and self-worth. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, particularly during the lengthy monologue by Gloria. While her speech is powerful, it could benefit from tighter editing to maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The dialogue is rich with humor and poignancy, but some lines, particularly from Weird Barbie and the other characters, can come off as overly expository. This can detract from the natural flow of conversation. Instead of having characters explain their identities or backstories, consider showing these traits through their actions or reactions.
  • The introduction of various Barbies and their quirks is amusing, but it risks overwhelming the audience with too many characters at once. This could dilute the emotional impact of Barbie Margot's journey. Focusing on a smaller group of characters might allow for deeper connections and more meaningful interactions.
  • The scene's climax, where Barbie Margot has a breakthrough, feels somewhat rushed. While the emotional catharsis is important, it could be enhanced by building more tension leading up to this moment. Consider adding more internal conflict or hesitation from Barbie Margot before she finds her voice.
  • The use of humor throughout the scene is effective, but it sometimes undercuts the gravity of the themes being explored, such as self-worth and societal expectations. Striking a better balance between humor and seriousness could enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening Gloria's monologue by breaking it into shorter, more impactful statements. This will help maintain the audience's attention and allow for more dynamic interactions.
  • Introduce characters gradually, perhaps by focusing on a few key Barbies at a time, to avoid overwhelming the audience and to allow for deeper character development.
  • Build more tension before Barbie Margot's breakthrough moment. This could involve her expressing doubt or fear about her identity, making her eventual realization feel more earned.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements to convey the characters' emotions and struggles, rather than relying solely on dialogue. This could include physical reactions or symbolic actions that reflect their internal conflicts.
  • Ensure that the humor complements the emotional weight of the scene rather than detracting from it. This could involve using humor to highlight absurdities without undermining the serious themes being addressed.



Scene 35 -  Empowerment at Weird Barbie's Bar
INT. WEIRD BARBIE’S WEIRDHOUSE

The place is now bustling with Barbies who are back to
themselves. It’s alive with chatter and planning. Weird
Barbie does a taxi whistle to get their attention.
94.


WEIRD BARBIE
(to the room)
Tomorrow the Kens are going to vote
to change the constitution but we
have to get there first.

SASHA
The final stage of our plan: To
turn the Kens against each other.
Now that they think they have power
over you, you make them question
whether they have enough power over
each other.

CLOSE on Barbie Margot. A hand applies make-up to her face.
It’s Gloria.

BARBIE MARGOT
What if this doesn’t work? What if
he doesn’t... like me anymore?

GLORIA
He likes you...

BARBIE MARGOT
But he was really upset...

GLORIA
Because he likes you. And deep down
he knows you don’t feel the same
way.

BARBIE MARGOT
I still don’t want to hurt him.

GLORIA
He took your house. He brainwashed
your friends. He wants to control
the government...

BARBIE MARGOT
Ok true. Right.
(laughs)
It’s like I’m a woman already...

GLORIA
Welcome.

BARBIE MARGOT
Is this what it’s really like?

They share a rueful smile as Gloria finishes.
95.


Barbie Margot walks into the room of Barbies. They all smile
at her. She’s “Stereotypical Barbie Perfect” again.

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m ready. Here we go!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In a vibrant bar filled with Barbies, Weird Barbie leads a meeting to strategize against the Kens' constitutional vote. Sasha proposes a plan to sow discord among the Kens, while Barbie Margot grapples with her insecurities about her relationship with Ken. With Gloria's support, Margot gains confidence and embraces her identity, ultimately deciding to join the other Barbies in their mission. The scene blends urgency and empowerment, culminating in Margot's declaration of readiness to fight alongside her friends.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Humorous tone
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with the large cast of characters
  • Some dialogue may be too on-the-nose

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, hope, and empowerment. It effectively sets up the conflict and resolution while maintaining a light-hearted tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Barbies uniting to rebel against the Kens is engaging and sets up an exciting conflict. The scene explores themes of identity, empowerment, and resistance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses effectively as the Barbies plan their rebellion and prepare to take action against the Kens. It sets up a high-stakes conflict and builds anticipation for the resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of living Barbies with their own society and government. The dialogue and character interactions feel authentic and fresh, adding depth to the familiar power struggle narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show growth and resilience as they come together to fight against oppression. Barbie Margot's internal conflict and eventual decision to join the rebellion add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie Margot undergoes a significant change as she embraces her role in the rebellion and finds the courage to stand up against the Kens. The other Barbies also experience growth and empowerment.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to navigate her feelings for Ken while also strategizing to take control of the government. This reflects her deeper need for agency and autonomy, as well as her fear of hurting others.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to turn the Kens against each other in order to gain power and control the government. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in the power struggle within the Barbie society.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the Barbies and the Kens is well-established, setting up a high-stakes showdown. The tension and anticipation are palpable as the rebellion plan unfolds.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and motivations driving the characters' actions and decisions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the Barbies plan to confront the Kens and reclaim their freedom. The outcome of the rebellion will have a significant impact on their lives and the future of Barbie Land.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by advancing the rebellion plot and setting up the climax. It introduces new challenges and resolutions that propel the narrative towards a resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the character dynamics and the shifting power dynamics within the Barbie society.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between personal desires and societal expectations. Barbie Margot grapples with her feelings for Ken while also recognizing the need to assert her power and control in the society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to empathy to empowerment. The characters' struggles and triumphs resonate with the audience, creating a strong emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the characters' motivations and emotions. It effectively conveys the humor, hope, and determination of the Barbies.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, drama, and intrigue. The dynamic between the characters and the high stakes of the power struggle keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a good balance of dialogue and action to keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup of the conflict, development of character goals, and resolution of tension.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a sense of urgency and camaraderie among the Barbies, which is essential for the narrative's progression. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance individuality and make each Barbie's perspective clearer.
  • The emotional stakes for Barbie Margot are well-established, particularly her fear of losing Ken's affection. However, the transition from her doubts to her resolve feels a bit abrupt. A more gradual build-up of her confidence could create a stronger emotional arc.
  • The humor in Gloria's responses adds a nice touch, but it might be more impactful if the humor was balanced with a deeper exploration of Barbie Margot's internal conflict. This would allow the audience to connect more with her struggle and the stakes of the situation.
  • The visual elements, such as the bustling atmosphere of Weird Barbie's Weirhouse, are engaging, but the scene could benefit from more specific descriptions of the Barbies' actions and expressions to enhance the visual storytelling.
  • The dialogue about the Kens' power dynamics is intriguing, but it could be clearer how this plan will be executed. Providing a brief outline of the strategy could help the audience understand the stakes and the cleverness of the plan.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more unique dialogue for each Barbie to differentiate their personalities and perspectives, making the scene feel more dynamic.
  • Introduce a moment where Barbie Margot reflects on her feelings more deeply before she resolves to take action, allowing for a more gradual emotional transition.
  • Incorporate more visual details about the Barbies' expressions and actions to enhance the scene's vibrancy and emotional weight.
  • Clarify the strategy for turning the Kens against each other by including a brief explanation or example of how they plan to execute this, which would heighten the tension and stakes.
  • Explore the theme of empowerment further by having Barbie Margot articulate what it means to her to reclaim her identity and the implications of her actions for the other Barbies.



Scene 36 -  A Playful Proposal
EXT. KEN’S MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE

Barbie rings the bell. Ken Ryan Gosling sees her, pretends he
doesn’t, noisily prepares himself, and then fakes being
shocked to see her. It’s a lot.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Oh... hey. You’ve caught me
reading.

BARBIE MARGOT
Hey. I’ve been thinking.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Uh huh.

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ken Land is-- Kendom--

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
Kendom- Kendom Land--

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
Land of-- The Free and Men--

BARBIE MARGOT
Right. Well, this place--

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Uh huh--

BARBIE MARGOT
Is really great. I’ve never seen
the Barbies so happy--

KEN RYAN GOSLING
They’ve done a great job cheering.

BARBIE MARGOT
Yeah, and the Kens really are
better at ruling than the Barbies
are--

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(like it’s nothing)
We just took Patriarchy and made it
Patriarchy.
96.


BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
(confused but moving Yes?
along)
Right and--

BARBIE MARGOT
And... I’m ready to be your long-
term-distance-low-commitment-casual
girlfriend if you’ll still have me?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(clearly into this idea)
Um... will you just hold on for one
second.

Ken Ryan Gosling retreats into his house and out of view.

KEN RYAN GOSLING (O.S.)
SUBLIME!

Returning to Barbie.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I don’t know. I’m going to have to
think about it.

BARBIE MARGOT
Please?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Fine. Come inside and I can play
the guitar at you.

BARBIE MARGOT
Yay!

She hops inside.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary Barbie visits Ken at his 'Mojo Dojo Casa House,' where they engage in a light-hearted exchange about their worlds. Barbie suggests a casual relationship, and after some playful hesitation, Ken enthusiastically agrees and invites her inside to play guitar, ending the scene on a cheerful note.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character development
  • Humor
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written with a good balance of humor, reflection, and character development. The dialogue is engaging, and the interaction between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling is entertaining and thought-provoking.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash of ideologies between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, exploring themes of power, identity, and acceptance. It sets the stage for further exploration of these themes.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the interaction between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, revealing their conflicting perspectives and setting up future conflicts. It advances the narrative by deepening the character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on gender roles and power dynamics, presenting a unique perspective on relationships and societal norms. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling are well-developed and engaging. Their dialogue and actions reveal their personalities and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Barbie Margot experiences a shift in her perspective and feelings towards Ken Ryan Gosling, showcasing her internal growth and conflict. This character change sets the stage for future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his feelings for Barbie and his own desires for a relationship. It reflects his need for companionship and connection, as well as his fear of commitment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to decide whether to enter into a long-term, low-commitment relationship with Barbie. It reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his desire for companionship with his fear of commitment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Barbie Margot grapples with her feelings towards Ken Ryan Gosling and the changes in Barbie Land. The tension between their differing perspectives adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, keeping the audience unsure of how the protagonist will respond to Barbie's proposal.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional and relational, as Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling navigate their changing dynamic and beliefs. The outcome of their interaction could have significant consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, setting up future confrontations and developments. It advances the narrative by revealing key character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' dialogue and actions, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the satire of gender roles and power dynamics, as seen in the dialogue between Barbie and Ken. It challenges traditional beliefs about relationships and societal norms.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to reflection, as Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling navigate their complex relationship and beliefs. The emotional depth adds layers to the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and reflective, capturing the essence of the characters and their relationship. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, playful banter, and satirical commentary that keeps the audience entertained and invested in the characters' interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character interactions and dialogue that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the playful banter between Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling, showcasing their dynamic relationship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to convey the emotional stakes involved in their conversation. Currently, it feels somewhat superficial, lacking the weight of their previous conflicts and the growth they have undergone.
  • The repetition of phrases like 'Kendom' and 'Land of the Free and Men' adds a humorous touch, but it may also come off as overly gimmicky. While humor is essential, balancing it with moments of sincerity could enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Ken's exaggerated surprise and preparation before greeting Barbie feels a bit forced. While it aligns with his character's playful nature, it might be more effective if it were toned down slightly to maintain a sense of authenticity in their interaction.
  • Barbie's offer to be a 'long-term-distance-low-commitment-casual girlfriend' is a clever play on modern relationship dynamics, but it could be clearer how this reflects her growth and understanding of her identity. Adding a line that connects her offer to her journey would strengthen the scene's thematic coherence.
  • The transition from Barbie's confident declaration of readiness to her casual proposal feels abrupt. A smoother transition that reflects her internal struggle or hesitation could enhance the emotional impact of her decision.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of vulnerability where Barbie expresses her feelings about the changes in Barbie Land and how they affect her relationship with Ken. This could deepen their connection and provide context for her proposal.
  • Incorporate a brief pause or reaction from Ken after Barbie's proposal to build tension and anticipation before he retreats to think about it. This could heighten the stakes of their interaction.
  • Explore the possibility of Ken's response being more nuanced. Instead of a straightforward acceptance, he could express some uncertainty or concern about the implications of their relationship, reflecting his character's growth.
  • Enhance the humor by including a playful physical action or gesture from Ken while he pretends to be busy, which could add a visual element to the comedy and make the scene more engaging.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more definitive emotional beat, such as Barbie's expression of hope or anxiety as she enters Ken's house, to leave the audience with a stronger sense of her emotional state.



Scene 37 -  Jealousy at the Beach Party
INT. KEN’S MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE

Ken Ryan Gosling plays guitar on the couch while staring at
Barbie Margot who listens patiently.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(to Barbie Margot)
“I want to Push you down, well I
will well I will.”

EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH. NIGHT

4 Hours Later and he’s still going. Now on the dunes. It’s a
beach party with all the Kens and their Barbies. All the
Barbies pretend to be brainwashed, and all the Kens play
guitar at them. Yes, it’s like 20 guitars. And one drum set.
97.


KENS
(to Barbies)
“I want to Push you down, well I
will well I will.”

BARBIE MARGOT (V.O.)
This is the final stage of our
plan. Give them their dream come
true...

GLORIA (V.O.)
And at the peak of their happiness,
when they think you actually care
about this song...

SASHA (V.O.)
You take it all away.

Margot looks across to Barbie Alexandra, who nods - it’s
time. Then Barbie Margot looks at her phone and giggles.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(immediately insecure)
Who... who are you texting?

BARBIE MARGOT
(feigning innocence)
Huh?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Who are you texting?

Anyone who asks that question twice has already lost all
power.

BARBIE MARGOT
No one.

He snatches the phone.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(reading)
Ken!

BARBIE MARGOT
Sorry, one sec...

We follow Barbie Margot and move throughout the Barbie/Ken
couples at the party, all playing their guitars at their
Barbies.

Barbie Margot approaches Ken Simu who also plays guitar and
sings Matchbox 20 at Barbie Alexandra.
98.


BARBIE MARGOT
That’s a beautiful song you’re
playing. Did you write it?

KEN SIMU
Yes. Want to sit here and watch me
do it while staring into your eyes
uncomfortably for four and a half
minutes?

BARBIE MARGOT
I’d love to.

Ken Ryan Gosling observes this, enraged. He smashes his
guitar into the sand but it doesn’t break.

And now the other Barbies do similar things, walking across
the sand from their Kens to engage with opposing Kens.

BARBIE MARGOT (V.O.)
You play on their egos and their
petty jealousies and you turn them
against each other. While they’re
fighting, we take back Barbie Land.

The Kens look at each other suspiciously. No Ken can be
trusted!
Genres: ["Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In this scene, Ken Ryan Gosling plays guitar for Barbie Margot, who listens intently. At a beach party later, the Kens perform for their Barbies, who feign interest as part of a plan to manipulate them. Ken Ryan becomes jealous when he sees Barbie Margot texting Ken Simu, leading to a confrontation where he smashes his guitar in frustration. As tensions rise among the Kens, they begin to distrust each other, setting the stage for further conflict.
Strengths
  • Clever plan to outsmart the Kens
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Empowering theme
Weaknesses
  • Some predictable character interactions
  • Slightly repetitive guitar-playing motif

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a strong mix of humor, strategy, and empowerment. It effectively sets up a climactic moment in the story and advances the plot significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of turning the Kens against each other to reclaim Barbie Land is innovative and engaging. It adds depth to the story and showcases the resourcefulness of the Barbies in the face of adversity.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall story arc. It sets up a major turning point in the narrative and builds anticipation for the resolution of the conflict between the Barbies and Kens.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and original take on power dynamics and manipulation within a surreal beach party setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their motivations are clear. The interactions between Barbie Margot, Gloria, Sasha, and the other Barbies and Kens add depth to the story and drive the plot forward.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters, especially Barbie Margot and Barbie Alexandra, undergo significant changes in the scene. They find their strength, confidence, and sense of purpose, setting the stage for the climax of the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain power and control over Barbie Margot, as evidenced by his immediate insecurity and possessiveness when she receives a text message.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain his image and dominance among the other Kens and Barbies at the party.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The level of conflict in the scene is high, as the Barbies devise a plan to outsmart the Kens and reclaim Barbie Land. The tension between the characters adds excitement and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power struggles between the characters that create tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the Barbies risk everything to reclaim Barbie Land from the oppressive Kens. The outcome of their plan will determine the future of their world.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by setting up a crucial turning point in the narrative. It advances the plot, deepens the conflict, and builds anticipation for the resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around manipulation and power dynamics, as the Barbies plan to use the Kens' egos against them to regain control of Barbie Land.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as the Barbies come together to fight for their freedom and identity. There is a sense of hope and defiance that resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, engaging, and serves to move the plot forward. It effectively conveys the humor, tension, and empowerment present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and surreal elements that keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment where the power dynamics shift.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that fits the surreal and satirical tone of the story, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the playful yet tense atmosphere of the beach party, showcasing the dynamics between the Kens and Barbies. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance individuality among the Kens, especially since they are all playing guitars and singing the same song. This could help to differentiate their personalities and make the scene more engaging.
  • The use of voiceovers from Barbie Margot, Gloria, and Sasha adds depth to the scene by providing insight into the plan. However, the transition between the voiceovers and the action could be smoother. Consider integrating the voiceovers more organically into the dialogue or action to maintain the flow and keep the audience engaged.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's insecurity is a strong emotional beat, but it could be amplified by showing more of his internal struggle. Instead of just snatching the phone, perhaps he could express his feelings verbally, which would add layers to his character and make the audience empathize with him.
  • The comedic element of Ken smashing his guitar but it not breaking is a nice touch, but it could be enhanced by adding a humorous reaction from the other characters. This would not only lighten the mood but also emphasize the absurdity of the situation, aligning with the overall tone of the screenplay.
  • The climax of the scene, where the Kens become suspicious of each other, is effective in building tension. However, it could be more impactful if there were visual cues or reactions from the Barbies that reflect their anticipation of the Kens' conflict. This would create a stronger connection between the characters' plans and the unfolding drama.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving each Ken a unique line or quirk during the guitar performance to highlight their individual personalities, making the scene more dynamic.
  • Integrate the voiceovers more seamlessly into the action, perhaps by having the characters react to the voiceover content in real-time, enhancing the connection between the dialogue and the plan.
  • Allow Ken Ryan Gosling to vocalize his insecurities more explicitly, which would deepen his character and make his emotional journey more relatable.
  • Add humorous reactions from the other characters when Ken smashes his guitar, which could enhance the comedic tone and provide a moment of levity amidst the tension.
  • Include visual cues or reactions from the Barbies as the Kens grow suspicious of each other, reinforcing the stakes of their plan and creating a more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 38 -  Kens at War: A Playful Strategy Session
EXT/INT. KEN’S MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSES, CUL-DE-SAC. LATER

Ken Ryan Gosling, Ken Kingsley and Ken Ncuti sit on the edges
of their houses with their feet dangling. Because the houses
are open to the world, they can all see and talk to each
other. It’s all very kid-like.

KEN NCUTI
(from his house)
Does the title of long term-
distance-low-commitment-casual
girlfriend mean NOTHING?!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(from his house)
This has gone too far!

KEN NCUTI
What do we do?!

KEN KINGSLEY
(from his house)
We beach every individual one of
them OFF!
99.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
No. We go to war!

KEN KINGSLEY
Against the Barbies?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Against the Kens.

KEN KINGSLEY
But we are the Kens.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
The other Kens.

KEN KINGSLEY
Well we should probably call them
something else so it doesn’t get
confusing.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
No, we’ll know what we mean.

KEN KINGSLEY
When we’re on the battlefield and
you say, “Ken at four o’clock!” I
won’t know if you mean us Kens or
the other Kens.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Because, my dudes, we attack at 10
o’clock, to take advantage of the
morning waves.

KEN NCUTI
But not so early so we all get to
sleep in.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Right.

KEN KINGSLEY
What will we fight with? We have no
guns.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Tennis racquets and volley balls.

KEN NCUTI
And slap fights!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
And beach offs!
100.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In a lighthearted scene set in a cul-de-sac at Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa Houses, Ken Ryan Gosling, Ken Kingsley, and Ken Ncuti gather to express their frustrations with low-commitment relationships. They humorously contemplate going to war against other Kens, discussing their limited weaponry and strategizing their attack. The conversation showcases their camaraderie and childlike innocence as they plan their unconventional methods of reclaiming Barbie Land, leaving their strategy open-ended.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative concept
  • Engaging character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining and showcases the absurdity of the situation with humor and creativity. The dialogue is witty and the tone is consistent throughout, making it engaging for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the Kens planning a war using non-traditional methods is innovative and adds a layer of humor to the scene. It effectively showcases the absurdity of the situation while moving the plot forward in a creative way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the Kens' decision to go to war against the other Kens, adding tension and conflict to the story. It sets up a new direction for the narrative and raises the stakes for the characters involved.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and humorous take on the concept of conflict resolution, using unconventional 'weapons' like tennis racquets and slap fights to add a unique twist to the narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of the Kens are well-developed in this scene, with each displaying their unique personalities and quirks. The interaction between the Kens adds depth to their relationships and sets the stage for future conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential growth and development as the Kens face off against each other. The dynamics between the characters may shift as the conflict escalates.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his leadership and rally his friends to take action against a perceived threat. This reflects his desire for control, power, and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to organize a 'war' against the other group of Kens in the cul-de-sac. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of resolving a conflict and asserting dominance within the group.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, as the Kens decide to take drastic action against each other by planning a war. This raises the stakes and adds tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong as the characters face a conflict that challenges their sense of identity and belonging. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as the Kens plan to go to war, risking their relationships and the stability of Barbie Land. The outcome of their conflict could have significant consequences for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up future events and adds complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events, such as the characters organizing a 'war' with unconventional 'weapons' and strategies. The audience is kept on their toes as they anticipate the outcome of the conflict.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of identity and belonging. The characters grapple with the question of who they are and how they differentiate themselves from others who share the same name.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact of the scene is relatively low, focusing more on humor and light-hearted banter among the characters. However, there is a sense of tension and anticipation as the Kens prepare for war.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging. It effectively conveys the personalities of the Kens and drives the plot forward while maintaining a light-hearted tone.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, playful banter, and humorous approach to conflict resolution. The dynamic between the characters and the absurdity of their 'war' keep the audience entertained and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense as the characters plan their 'war' and prepare for the conflict. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is consistent with the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and dialogue that advance the plot and develop the conflict. The formatting adheres to the expected format for a comedic screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the childlike innocence and camaraderie among the Kens, which aligns well with the overall tone of the screenplay. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to differentiate each Ken's personality. Currently, they blend together, making it hard for the audience to connect with them individually.
  • The conflict presented in this scene is somewhat unclear. While the Kens express frustration and a desire to go to war, the stakes of this conflict are not fully established. It would be helpful to clarify what the Kens hope to achieve through this war and how it relates to the overarching narrative of reclaiming Barbie Land.
  • The humor in the scene is present, particularly in the absurdity of their proposed weapons (tennis racquets and volleyballs). However, the comedic potential could be heightened by incorporating more physical comedy or visual gags that reflect their childlike nature, such as exaggerated gestures or playful banter.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit slow, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Some lines could be trimmed or rephrased for brevity to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged. The back-and-forth about naming the other Kens, while humorous, could be streamlined to avoid dragging the scene.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one could be smoother. The last lines of the previous scene hint at suspicion among the Kens, but this scene shifts to a more lighthearted tone without fully addressing the tension. A stronger connection between the two scenes would enhance the narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving each Ken a more distinct personality trait or catchphrase to make their dialogue more memorable and engaging. This will help the audience differentiate between them and invest in their individual arcs.
  • Clarify the stakes of the proposed war against the other Kens. What do they hope to achieve? Establishing a clear goal will heighten the tension and make the conflict more compelling.
  • Incorporate more physical comedy or visual elements that emphasize the absurdity of their situation. For example, they could be seen preparing their 'weapons' in a humorous way, such as practicing with tennis racquets or engaging in slap fights.
  • Trim down some of the dialogue to improve pacing. Focus on the most impactful lines that drive the plot forward and maintain the comedic tone without losing momentum.
  • Create a stronger transition from the previous scene by briefly acknowledging the suspicion among the Kens before diving into their lighthearted planning. This will help maintain narrative continuity and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 39 -  Dawn of Chaos
INT./EXT. MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE. DAWN

In his bed, Ken Ryan Gosling is already awake, singing.

Then he and the other Kens mink up and walk towards battle,
Ryan still singing. Think “The Warriors.”

The song continues as...

EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH. DAWN

They come in on paddle boats, Ken Ryan Gosling and Ken
Kingsley leading the charge, paddling furiously, trying to
look dignified in their arm floaties.

The other Kens, led by Ken Simu, are waiting on the dunes
mounted on hobby-horses.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(unhinged screaming)
I’ll see you on the Malibu beach!

As they rush the beach in their trunks, they’re also hitting
volleyballs and making sand castles. Maybe a game of Kadima?

KEN KINGSLEY
The water is cold!

Slo-mo sand being kicked in Ken’s faces.

EXT. ROOF OF WEIRD BARBIE’S. MORNING

All the Barbies, Barbie Margot, Weird Barbie, Gloria, Sasha,
and the rejected Barbies and Kens look over Barbie Land.

GLORIA
And now they destroy themselves.

WEIRD BARBIE
Should we go restore our
constitution?

BARBIE EMMA
Good idea.

EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH

BACK TO THE BEACH. The executives from Mattel in their suits
appear amidst the Kens on the beach.

MATTEL CEO
This is a real hornet’s nest in
here.
101.


Aaron Dinkins is hit in the head with a volleyball.

AARON DINKINS
Ow!

Mattel Executive #1 laughs and then is suddenly and violently
shot in the arm in a real Saving Private Ryan way. He
crumples on the sand. Everyone looks at each other.

MATTEL EXECUTIVE #1
Did I get shot? Are there real
weapons here?

MATTEL CEO
(not convincing)
No?
Genres: ["Comedy","Action","Drama"]

Summary As dawn breaks on the beach of Barbie Land, Ken Ryan Gosling leads a group of Kens in a playful yet chaotic battle preparation, reminiscent of 'The Warriors.' They paddle towards the shore in boats with arm floaties, engaging in lighthearted beach activities like volleyball and sandcastle building. Meanwhile, the Barbies observe from a rooftop, debating whether to intervene. The scene takes a dark turn when Mattel executives arrive, only to be shocked by the sudden violence when one is shot, leaving everyone in confusion and suspense.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor, action, and drama
  • Engaging character development
  • Compelling conflict and high stakes
Weaknesses
  • Possible confusion in the chaotic battle sequence
  • Some dialogue may be overshadowed by the action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, action, and drama to create a compelling and entertaining sequence that advances the plot and develops the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the clash between the Kens and Barbies in Barbie Land, is creative and engaging. The scene effectively explores themes of power dynamics, identity, and resistance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is dynamic and engaging, with the conflict between the Kens and Barbies driving the narrative forward. The scene effectively advances the overall story arc and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of bringing Barbies and Kens to life and engaging in playful battles, creating a fresh and unique approach to storytelling.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with each displaying unique traits and motivations. The interactions between the Kens and Barbies reveal depth and complexity, adding layers to the conflict.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience growth and change during the scene, particularly Barbie Margot, who finds strength and determination to fight against the Kens' control. The emotional journey of the characters adds depth to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Ken Ryan Gosling's internal goal is to assert his dominance and bravado in the battle against the Barbies, showcasing his confidence and leadership among the other Kens.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to win the battle against the Barbies and maintain the honor of the Kens.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with the battle between the Kens and Barbies escalating tensions and driving the narrative forward. The stakes are raised as the characters fight for control of Barbie Land.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, particularly with the introduction of the executives from Mattel.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the Kens and Barbies battle for control of Barbie Land, with the outcome having significant consequences for the characters and the world they inhabit.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a pivotal conflict between the Kens and Barbies, setting up future developments and resolutions. The narrative progresses with each character's actions and decisions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected entrance of the executives from Mattel and the sudden shift in tone from playful to slightly dark.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the juxtaposition of childlike playfulness and adult responsibilities, as seen in the executives from Mattel entering the playful world of the Barbies and Kens.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a significant emotional impact, with moments of despair, hope, and connection resonating with the audience. The characters' struggles and triumphs evoke a range of emotions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and emotionally resonant. It effectively conveys the personalities of the characters and advances the plot through engaging interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its whimsical and humorous elements, drawing the audience into the fantastical world of Barbies and Kens.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing moments of action and dialogue to maintain the audience's interest and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is unconventional but effective in conveying the playful and imaginative nature of the world and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that aligns with the fantastical world it portrays, deviating from traditional screenplay formats to enhance the whimsical atmosphere.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the playful and absurd tone of the screenplay, particularly with the juxtaposition of the Kens' childlike antics against the backdrop of a battle. However, the transition from the lighthearted paddle boat scene to the sudden violence with the Mattel executive being shot feels jarring. This shift could benefit from a more gradual build-up to maintain the comedic tone while introducing the element of danger.
  • Ken Ryan Gosling's character is portrayed as enthusiastic and unhinged, which works well for comedic effect. However, the dialogue could be sharpened to enhance his character's uniqueness. Instead of generic battle cries, consider giving him a catchphrase or a more distinctive way of expressing his excitement that aligns with his character arc.
  • The visual imagery of the Kens in arm floaties and paddle boats is humorous and aligns with the overall absurdity of the narrative. However, the scene could benefit from more specific visual gags or actions that highlight the ridiculousness of their situation, such as exaggerated paddling techniques or comical interactions with the beach environment.
  • The dialogue among the Kens is playful, but it could be more varied to reflect their individual personalities. Each Ken should have a distinct voice that contributes to the humor and camaraderie of the group. This would help the audience connect with each character and enhance the comedic dynamics.
  • The introduction of the Mattel executives adds an interesting layer to the scene, but their reactions to the chaos could be more exaggerated to heighten the comedic effect. Their confusion and fear should contrast sharply with the Kens' antics, creating a more dynamic interplay between the two groups.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a comedic build-up to the moment when the Mattel executive is shot, perhaps through escalating misunderstandings or miscommunications among the Kens that lead to the unexpected violence.
  • Enhance Ken Ryan Gosling's character by giving him a memorable catchphrase or unique way of expressing his battle enthusiasm that sets him apart from the other Kens.
  • Incorporate more specific visual gags that emphasize the absurdity of the paddle boat battle, such as exaggerated paddling motions or humorous interactions with beachgoers.
  • Develop distinct voices for each Ken to enhance their individual personalities and contribute to the overall humor of the scene. This could involve unique catchphrases or quirks that make each character memorable.
  • Amplify the reactions of the Mattel executives to the chaos around them, making their confusion and fear more pronounced to create a stronger comedic contrast with the Kens' antics.



Scene 40 -  Embracing Identity in Barbie Land
EXT. BARBIE LAND. BEACH. INTERCUT

The Kens continue to do “battle” with Ken Ryan Gosling
singing his heart out.

This transitions into a “dream ballet” in a white space. The
Kens dance in an expression of frustrated masculinity,
helplessness, and feeling.

It culminates in dance-off and Ken Anthem. It’s beautiful,
actually. It’s broken by:

KEN KINGSLEY
KEN! KEN!

We’re back on the beach. The Kens hold hands post dream
ballet, Ken Ryan Gosling still in the feeling, Ken Kingsley
comes running over to him.

KEN KINGSLEY
KEN! Weren’t we supposed to vote
today?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
What?

KEN KINGSLEY
To change the constitution?!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
That’s today, isn’t it?!

INT. BARBIE SUPREME COURT. BARBIE/KEN LAND. DAY

We move through the crowd of enthusiastic Barbies. “The last
time I saw you you were brain washed! So were you!
102.


You look so much better not in the cheerleader costume! And
you without the school girl outfit!”

Barbie Issa bangs the gavel, casually and glamorously
commanding.

BARBIE ISSA
OK ladies, let’s do this. All those
in favor of letting Barbie Land be
Barbie Land, say “Aye!”

The Barbies all say “aye” voting to retain the constitution.
Sasha grabs her mom’s hand. She has a tear running down her
cheek.

Barbie Margot smiles. That’s what she wanted to show them.

EXT. BARBIE DREAMHOUSE. DAY

The Kens, in musical dance pack, approach the cul-de-sac as
if they’re riding horses, but they’re just galloping on foot
Monty Python style...

As they arrive, they look up and down and all around to
discover that the Barbies (plus Allan and Sasha and Gloria
and the rejected dolls) are now occupying all the houses.

The whole aesthetic is now a combination of Mojo Dojo Casa
House PLUS Dreamhouse PLUS Weirdhouse. It’s a combo-pack,
which is actually the most beautiful of all.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(losing his shit)
Is it my imagination, or are these
Mojo Dojo Casa Houses...
dreamier???

The Barbies all step out into the open.

BARBIE ISSA
(from on high)
That’s because they’re Dream
Houses, mother*******.

She’s censored by a Mattel logo.

BARBIE ISSA
We’ve re-instated the constitution
of Barbie Land the way it was MEANT
to be, and returned all the
Barbie’s brains and autonomy.

All the Barbies cheer!
103.


BARBIE ISSA
And we seriously disinfected the
houses.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Kens!!!

They all slowly, tiredly line themselves up.

KEN KINGSLEY
Who are we attacking, sir?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
The--

Ken Ryan Gosling looks at the Barbies, triumphant, but not
confrontational.

He hesitates. He looks back at the Kens who look exhausted
and confused. Suddenly he sees the folly of everything. The
other Kens look sheepish, as well. They look like the kids at
the end of Lord of The Flies when the ship comes.

Ken Ryan Gosling starts crying and runs past Barbie Margot
into the Dreamhouse.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!!!

Which makes Allan cry. Barbie Margot goes into the Dreamhouse
to comfort him:

Ken Ryan Gosling is lying face down on the bed.

BARBIE MARGOT
(to Ken Ryan Gosling)
Hey, are you okay?

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(snort)
Yeah... I’m fine. Totally.

BARBIE MARGOT
It’s OK if you’re crying. I cried
too. It’s kind of amazing.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(sobbing)
I know. I’m a liberated man. I know
crying isn’t weak.

BARBIE MARGOT
Do you want to sit up for a minute?
104.


He does.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(still crying)
It was hard running stuff. I didn’t
love it.

BARBIE MARGOT
I get it.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(crying harder)
And those mini-fridges are so
small! You can only fit like a six-
pack in them, and the freezers are
basically USELESS. And, to be
honest, once I found out patriarchy
isn’t about horses, I kind of lost
interest anyway...

He heaves and ugly cries, snot dripping from his nose. Barbie
Margot tries to comfort him but kind of realizes she should
just let this finish on its own.

BARBIE MARGOT
That’s OK!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I always thought this would be our
house.

BARBIE MARGOT
Oh... Ken.
(gently)
I think I owe you an apology. I’m
sorry I took you for granted. Not
every night had to be girl’s night.

Ken wipes his tears, nods a thank you. We see that Ken is
reflected in Barbie’s eye - Ken sees it too. He leans in for
a kiss. She backs away.

BARBIE MARGOT
No, I didn’t mean to suggest--

KEN RYAN GOSLING
(standing up)
I don’t know who I am without you!

BARBIE MARGOT
You’re Ken.
105.


KEN RYAN GOSLING
But it’s Barbie AND Ken. There is
no just Ken. That’s why I was
created - I only exist within the
warmth of your gaze. Without you
I’m just some blonde guy who can’t
do flips.

Ken Ryan Gosling runs to the edge of the house, dramatically.

BARBIE MARGOT
Maybe it’s time for you to discover
who Ken is.

Ken leans in AGAIN for the kiss.

BARBIE MARGOT KEN RYAN GOSLING
No-- That’s not what I’m-- OK, I think I got it.

Ken is bursting with feeling, leaning over a few more times
to try to kiss her even though he knows that’s not the
solution. He just tries to accept it. He looks crazy.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I feel so stupid. I look SO stupid.
I LOOK SO STUPID!!!!

ALL THE KENS DOWN BELOW
NO! YOU LOOK SO COOL!!

BARBIE MARGOT
Ken, you have to figure out who you
are without me. You’re not your
girlfriend, you’re not your house,
you’re not your mink.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Beach?

BARBIE MARGOT
No, not even beach. Maybe all the
things you thought made you you
aren’t... really you. Maybe it’s
Barbie AND... it’s Ken.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ken... is me?

BARBIE MARGOT
YES!

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ken is me!
106.


BARBIE MARGOT
(quietly, to herself)
And I’m Barbie...

KEN RYAN GOSLING
KEN IS ME!

The Kens call out from below.

KEN KINGSLEY
And ME!

KEN SIMU
And ME!

Ken Ryan Gosling clutches his mink in his arms as he looks
down to Ken Kingsley. And then he tosses it dramatically into
the air.

KEN RYAN GOSLING
I want you to have it.

Ken Kingsley dons the faux mink coat. He turns to the crowd:

KEN KINGSLEY
(with all the gravitas)
We were only fighting because we
didn’t know who we were.

Ken Ryan Gosling goes down the slide

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Ken is me!!!!

Suddenly, there is clapping. And weeping. The Mattel CEO
exits the treehouse. He is somehow clapping and weeping the
hardest.

MATTEL CEO
(weeping)
Ken is RIGHT. It is SO HARD to be a
leader.

He sees Midge standing next to him, screams.

MATTEL CEO
AHHHH!!!! Midge. God. I thought we
discontinued her.
(recovering)
Do you know how many times I’ve
just wanted to stand up in a board
meeting and say, “Let’s just tickle
each other!” Let’s have a company
retreat and just tickle each other!
107.


The Mattel execs all join in and tickle their CEO, who is
giggling like a little kid. Aaron Dinkins’ tickle turning
into a hug:

MATTEL CEO
NO NO NO don’t hug me!
(moving on...)
But thanks to the Barbies I too can
relieve myself of this heavy
existential burden while holding
onto the very real title of CEO and
we can restore everything in Barbie
Land to exactly the way it was.

BARBIE ISSA MATTEL CEO
But, Mr. Mattel-- Please call me Mother.

BARBIE ISSA
No thank you.
(stepping forward)
I don’t think it should go back to
just the way it was.
(looking to Weird Barbie)
No Barbie or Ken should be living
in the shadows.

ALLAN
Or Allan.

Nobody notices he says this. President Barbie approaches
Weird Barbie:

BARBIE ISSA
I’m sorry we called you Weird
Barbie behind your back and also to
your face.

WEIRD BARBIE
That’s OK, I’m owning it now.

BARBIE ISSA
Would you like a job in my cabinet?

WEIRD BARBIE
May I please have sanitation?

BARBIE ISSA
It’s yours.

A gaggle of Kens approach, excited.

KEN KINGSLEY
Madame President, please could the
Kens get one Supreme Court justice?
108.


BARBIE ISSA
Whoa whoa, I can’t do that. But
maybe a lower circuit court
judgeship--

KEN SIMU
We accept! As long as we can wear
robes.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O)
Well the Kens have to start
somewhere. And one day the Kens
will have as much power and
influence in Barbie Land as women
have in the real world.

Sasha pokes at Gloria, prompting her.

GLORIA
(role reversal to her
daughter)
Okay, stop! I’ll do it! STOP!
(to the group, brave
voice)
I’ve got an idea.

MATTEL CEO
(to Gloria, making weird
eye contact)
Tell me your secret dream child.

GLORIA
(interrupting)
What about, “Ordinary Barbie.”
(brainstorming, excited)
She’s not extraordinary! She just
has a flattering top and wants to
get through the day! Because it’s
OK to just want to be a mom or to
want to be president or a mom who
is president or not a mom who is
also not president.

The Mattel CEO looks at Mattel Executive #1 who quickly runs
the numbers on an iPad.

MATTEL CEO
That’s a terrible idea.

MATTEL EXECUTIVE #1
Yeah that’s going to make money.

MATTEL CEO
Oh! “Ordinary Barbie.” I love it.
109.


MATTEL CEO
Ok! We’re good, everyone good?
(to the everyone)
Let’s now do the work to restore
the portal between our worlds.

Everyone cheers. Sasha finds Barbie Margot in the crowd.
Barbie Margot claps, and looks happy, but something is
missing too.

SASHA
Hey wait, what about Barbie?

MATTEL CEO
What do you mean?

The Barbies nod.

BARBIES/KENS
Yeah, what about Barbie?!/What’s
her ending?

SASHA
What does she get?

MATTEL CEO
(that’s easy)
Oh, that’s easy! She’s in love with
Ken.

SASHA
That’s not her ending!

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m not in love with Ken.

MATTEL CEO
(flustered)
Well what do you want?

BARBIE MARGOT
(tears up)
I, I don’t know... I’m not really
sure where I belong anymore. I
don’t think I have an ending.

A VOICE ON THE WIND
That was always the point. I
created you so you wouldn’t have an
ending.

Coming toward her on the road, backlit by the sun, is a
small, well dressed woman holding a hand bag.
110.


BARBIE MARGOT
(quietly)
It’s you.

It’s Ruth, the woman from the 50’s kitchen in the Mattel
offices. Barbie Margot meets her half-way:

BARBIE MARGOT
You’re Ruth, from Mattel.

Then Ruth goes from being some ethereal God-like figure to a
comedian, angelic act dropped.

RUTH
Baby I am Mattel, until the IRS got
to me, which is another movie. I
Remington Steeled it for a while
with my husband, but I’m the brains
of the operation.

BARBIE MARGOT
So you’re...?

RUTH
(little bow)
Ruth Handler, inventor of Barbie.

MATTEL CEO
(stage whisper)
Her ghost keeps an office on the
17th floor.

Whispers and looks amongst the Barbies and Kens.

RUTH
What? You think the lady who
invented Barbie looked like Barbie?
Ha! I’m a five foot nothing Grandma
with a double mastectomy and tax
evasion issues. Nobody looks like
Barbie. Except, of course, Barbie.
Take a bow, honey.

BARBIE MARGOT
I don’t feel like Barbie though,
not anymore.

Ruth gestures to Barbie Margot.

RUTH
Walk with me.
111.


Barbie takes Ruth’s hand. They head down the road. The cul-de-
sac of Barbies and Kens and Mattel all do a slow theater wave
goodbye. Ken Ryan waves, heartfelt:

KEN RYAN GOSLING
Thank you, Barbie. Thank you.
Genres: ["Comedy","Fantasy","Drama"]

Summary On the beach in Barbie Land, the Kens, led by Ken Ryan Gosling, engage in a playful battle that culminates in a dream ballet expressing their frustrations with masculinity. Following the ballet, Ken Kingsley reminds Ken Ryan Gosling about a crucial vote regarding the constitution, leading to a pivotal moment in the Barbie Supreme Court where the Barbies assert their autonomy. As the Kens confront their identities, Ken Ryan Gosling experiences an emotional breakdown, realizing he has lost himself in the pursuit of being 'Ken.' Barbie Margot comforts him, encouraging him to discover his individuality. The scene concludes with Ken Ryan Gosling embracing his true self, and the Barbies and Kens coming together to redefine their roles in Barbie Land, symbolizing a new chapter for their community.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Humor
  • Innovative concept
  • Thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Potential tonal shifts
  • Complexity of metafictional elements

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, blending humor, emotion, and self-discovery effectively. It introduces a unique twist with the character of Ruth Handler and explores deep themes of identity and self-acceptance, resonating with the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of the scene is innovative, blending fantasy elements with real-world implications. The introduction of Ruth Handler adds a metafictional layer to the narrative, exploring themes of creation and identity in a unique way.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is well-developed, focusing on resolving conflicts between characters and bringing closure to their arcs. The introduction of the Kens' self-discovery and Barbie Margot's journey of acceptance adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unconventional ideas within the familiar setting of Barbie Land. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original, offering a unique perspective on identity and relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene undergo significant growth and self-realization, particularly Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling. Their interactions and emotional journeys drive the narrative forward, creating a compelling and relatable dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant changes during the scene, particularly Barbie Margot and Ken Ryan Gosling. Their journeys of self-realization and acceptance lead to personal growth and transformation, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Ken Ryan Gosling's internal goal is to discover his true identity and purpose beyond his relationship with Barbie. He struggles with feelings of inadequacy and dependency on Barbie for his sense of self.

External Goal: 7

The external goal is to restore peace and harmony in Barbie Land by resolving conflicts and restoring autonomy to the characters.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the characters' struggles with identity, self-worth, and acceptance. The resolution of these conflicts leads to personal growth and emotional catharsis for the characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. The characters face challenges that push them to grow and change.

High Stakes: 8

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high for the characters as they confront their identities, relationships, and futures. The resolution of these conflicts has a significant impact on their lives and the world of Barbie Land.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by resolving conflicts, advancing character arcs, and setting up future developments. The resolution of the Kens' self-discovery and Barbie Margot's acceptance paves the way for a new chapter in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to its surreal elements and unexpected character choices. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of self-discovery and independence. The characters grapple with the concept of identity and the importance of individuality within a community.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting a range of feelings from the audience, including hope, nostalgia, and empathy. The characters' journeys of self-discovery and acceptance resonate on a deep emotional level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, blending humor, emotion, and introspection effectively. The conversations between characters reveal their inner thoughts and feelings, adding depth to their relationships and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotion, and character development. The conflicts and resolutions keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing emotional moments with comedic beats. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the scene engaging and impactful.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct transitions between locations and character actions. It adheres to the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and character interactions. While unconventional, the structure enhances the narrative and character development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional climax of Ken Ryan Gosling's character arc, showcasing his vulnerability and the theme of self-discovery. However, the transition from the dream ballet to the beach setting feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the emotional weight of the ballet.
  • The dialogue between Ken Ryan Gosling and Barbie Margot is heartfelt and poignant, but it occasionally veers into melodrama. While the emotional stakes are high, some lines could be trimmed or rephrased for greater impact and authenticity. For instance, Ken's repeated assertions of his identity could be more nuanced to avoid redundancy.
  • The comedic elements, particularly the absurdity of the Kens' situation, are well-executed, but they risk overshadowing the emotional depth of the scene. Balancing humor with the gravity of Ken's breakdown is crucial to maintain the scene's integrity.
  • The introduction of the Mattel CEO and the subsequent comedic relief feels somewhat disjointed from the emotional core of the scene. While humor is a staple of the screenplay, it may be more effective to allow the emotional moment between Barbie and Ken to breathe before introducing comedic elements.
  • The visual imagery of the Kens galloping and the dream ballet is imaginative, but the scene could benefit from more descriptive language to enhance the reader's visualization. Specific details about the choreography or the setting could elevate the scene's impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a transitional moment that bridges the dream ballet and the beach scene, perhaps through a visual cue or a line of dialogue that reflects on the ballet's themes.
  • Refine the dialogue to ensure each line serves a purpose in advancing character development or thematic depth. Aim for brevity and emotional resonance.
  • Maintain a balance between humor and emotional weight by allowing Ken's breakdown to take center stage before introducing comedic elements. This will help preserve the scene's emotional integrity.
  • Evaluate the placement of the Mattel CEO's comedic moment. If it feels too jarring, consider integrating it more seamlessly or delaying it until after the emotional climax has been fully realized.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the dream ballet and the beach setting to create a more immersive experience for the reader. Use vivid imagery to evoke the emotions and themes present in the scene.



Scene 41 -  Embracing Humanity
INT. ORIGIN SPACE

A vast empty space, almost like reflecting sand on a beach,
softly illuminated by different, changing colors.

RUTH
Tell me your troubles.

BARBIE MARGOT
Is this therapy?

RUTH
No, you’re talking to a ghost from
the 1950s!

BARBIE MARGOT
Well, I don’t know what I’m
supposed to do... I’ve always just
been Stereotypical Barbie, I don’t
think I’m good at anything else.

RUTH
You saved Barbie Land from
patriarchy.

BARBIE MARGOT
That was very much a group effort.

RUTH
And you helped that Mother and
Daughter connect.

BARBIE MARGOT
They really helped each other.

RUTH
Maybe you’re Self-Effacing Barbie?

BARBIE MARGOT
Maybe I’m not Barbie anymore.

Barbie Margot says this before she realized that she’d said
it and then immediately realizes it’s true.

RUTH
You understand that humans only
have one ending.
(MORE)
112.
RUTH (CONT’D)
Ideas live forever, humans, not so
much. You know that right?

BARBIE MARGOT
I do.

RUTH
Being a human can be pretty
uncomfortable.

BARBIE MARGOT
I know.

RUTH
I mean humans make things up like
patriarchy and Barbie just to deal
with how uncomfortable it is.

BARBIE MARGOT
I understand.

RUTH
And then you die.

BARBIE MARGOT
(nodding)
I want... I want to be part of the
people that make meaning, not the
thing that’s made. I want to be the
one imagining, not the idea itself.
Does that make sense?

RUTH
(chuckling)
I always knew that Barbie would
surprise me, but I never expected
this.

BARBIE MARGOT
Do you give me permission? To
become human?

RUTH
You don’t need my permission.

BARBIE MARGOT
But you’re The Creator. You control
me.

RUTH
Ha! I can’t control you any more
than I could control my own
daughter! I named you after her -
Barbara.
(MORE)
113.
RUTH (CONT’D)
And I always hoped for you like I
hoped for her. We mothers stand
still so our daughters can look
back to see how far they’ve come.

BARBIE MARGOT
(figuring it out)
So being human isn’t something I
need to ask for or even want, it’s
something I discover I am...?

RUTH
I can’t, in good conscience, let
you take that leap without knowing
what it means. Take my hands.

She does.

RUTH
Now close your eyes.

She does.

RUTH
Now... FEEL.

We see details of Barbie Margot, her eye, her forearm, her
pulse. Life.

And she feels and sees what a human life is. The joy and pain
of being mortal. All that she will lose and gain.

We see FLASHES of life lived, unadorned home footage of many
women’s lives - happiness, sadness, big moments, little
moments, childhood, adulthood, old age, how it all rushes by
in one moment, each life drifting into the next somehow
capturing the current that runs through all things.

BACK TO BARBIE: Tears roll down Barbie Margot’s face. She
opens her eyes and says one thing:

BARBIE MARGOT
YES.
Genres: ["Drama","Fantasy"]

Summary In a vibrant, ethereal space, Ruth, a ghost from the 1950s, engages Barbie Margot in a profound conversation about identity and purpose. As Barbie grapples with her role beyond being Stereotypical Barbie, Ruth encourages her to embrace the complexities of being human. Through vivid flashes of women's experiences, Barbie realizes that life is about discovery, leading her to affirm her desire to participate in the creative process of life. The scene concludes with an emotional Barbie, moved to tears, affirmatively declaring 'YES' to her humanity.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Philosophical exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Reliance on introspection

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is beautifully crafted, delving deep into Barbie Margot's internal struggle and transformation with poignant dialogue and emotional resonance.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of Barbie Margot grappling with her identity and mortality is profound and thought-provoking, adding depth to her character and the overall narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Barbie Margot's internal struggle and decision to embrace her humanity, driving the emotional core of the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on identity, agency, and the human experience, offering a unique take on familiar themes. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and thought-provoking.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

Barbie Margot's character development is central to the scene, showcasing her growth, vulnerability, and inner strength as she confronts her existential crisis.

Character Changes: 10

Barbie Margot undergoes significant character development, transitioning from a symbol to a complex individual grappling with mortality and identity, leading to a transformative realization.

Internal Goal: 9

Barbie Margot's internal goal is to discover her true identity and purpose beyond the stereotypical Barbie persona she has always embodied.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal is to understand the concept of being human and to embrace the complexities and uncertainties that come with it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Barbie Margot grapples with her identity and the decision to embrace her humanity, leading to emotional turmoil and growth.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge Barbie Margot's beliefs and push her towards self-discovery, creating a sense of uncertainty and growth.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high on an emotional and existential level, as Barbie Margot faces the choice of embracing her humanity and confronting the unknown challenges and joys of being human.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening Barbie Margot's character arc and setting the stage for her new journey as a human, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its exploration of identity, agency, and the human experience, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in the characters' emotional growth.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of self-discovery, agency, and the nature of existence. It challenges Barbie Margot's beliefs about her identity and the meaning of being human.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.8

The scene has a profound emotional impact, evoking empathy and introspection as Barbie Margot confronts her existential crisis and makes a life-changing decision.

Dialogue: 9.3

The dialogue is poignant and introspective, capturing the emotional depth of Barbie Margot's journey towards self-realization and acceptance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its deep emotional resonance, philosophical depth, and character development. The dialogue and interactions draw the audience into the characters' introspective journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, emotional depth, and thematic resonance, creating a compelling and immersive experience for the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and narrative direction.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the characters' emotional journey and thematic exploration. It maintains a good pace and rhythm.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a pivotal moment in Barbie Margot's journey, where she confronts her identity and purpose. The dialogue between Ruth and Barbie is poignant and thought-provoking, highlighting themes of self-discovery and the complexities of humanity. However, the pacing feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from Barbie's doubts to her realization of wanting to be part of the creative process. This could benefit from a more gradual build-up to enhance emotional impact.
  • Ruth's character serves as a strong guiding figure, but her role could be further developed to provide more depth. While she offers wisdom, the scene could explore her own feelings about Barbie's evolution and the implications of her creation. This would add layers to their interaction and make the stakes feel higher for both characters.
  • The visual elements described, such as the changing colors and the vast empty space, create a dreamlike atmosphere that complements the themes of the scene. However, the scene could benefit from more specific visual imagery that ties back to Barbie's experiences in the real world, making her emotional journey feel more grounded and relatable.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but some lines, particularly Ruth's, could be more concise. For example, the line about humans making things up like patriarchy could be streamlined to maintain the scene's flow. Additionally, Barbie's line about wanting to be part of the people that make meaning feels slightly verbose; simplifying it could enhance clarity and emotional resonance.
  • The emotional climax, where Barbie Margot decides to embrace her humanity, is powerful, but the transition to her tears and the final 'YES' could be more visually and emotionally impactful. Consider incorporating more sensory details or internal monologue to deepen the audience's connection to her moment of realization.
Suggestions
  • Slow down the pacing in the dialogue to allow Barbie's emotional journey to resonate more with the audience. Consider adding pauses or moments of reflection between key lines.
  • Develop Ruth's character further by incorporating her own reflections on Barbie's evolution and the implications of her creation. This could create a richer dialogue and enhance the emotional stakes.
  • Incorporate more specific visual imagery that connects Barbie's current emotional state to her past experiences, making her journey feel more relatable and grounded.
  • Streamline some of the dialogue for clarity and impact, particularly Ruth's explanations about humanity and Barbie's desires. Aim for concise, powerful lines that convey depth without losing momentum.
  • Enhance the emotional climax by adding sensory details or internal thoughts during Barbie's realization. This could help the audience feel her transformation more profoundly, making the moment more impactful.



Scene 42 -  Barbie's Bold Step
EXT. REAL WORLD. LOS ANGELES. DAY

We BOOM down to the streets of LA.

HELEN MIRREN (V.O.)
So Barbie left behind the pastels
and plastic of Barbie Land for the
pastels and plastic of Los Angeles.
114.


Gloria pulls up to the curb. Nerdy Well Meaning Dad rides
shotgun, Sasha and Barbie Margot in the backseat.

BARBIE MARGOT
(excited, anxious)
Well, thanks for the lift.

GLORIA SASHA
You’ve got this. I’m so proud of you.

NERDY WELL MEANING DAD
Estoy muy orgullosa de ti.

BARBIE MARGOT
Thank you, you guys are the best.
Ok, lets do this.

NERDY WELL MEANING DAD
Sí se puede!

GLORIA
That’s a political statement.

SASHA
That’s appropriation, Dad!

They all cheer her on as she walks from the car into a big
building. We see that she’s wearing Birkenstocks - PINK, of
course, but still, Birks.

INT. OFFICE. CONTINUOUS.

Nervous, happy, she finds the right door, and walks up to a
reception desk. To the woman behind the glass:

BARBIE MARGOT
Hi...

RECEPTIONIST
Name?

BARBIE MARGOT
Oh, um, Handler comma Barbara.

RECEPTIONIST
And what are you here for today,
Barbara?

And then she says, with so much pride, so much anticipation,
so much meaning, so much deep joy:

BARBIE MARGOT
I’m here to see my gynecologist.
115.


CUT TO BLACK BEFORE ANYONE CAN EVEN PROCESS THAT SENTENCE.



The End.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In this scene, Barbie Margot transitions from Barbie Land to Los Angeles, where she is driven by Gloria, Sasha, and her Nerdy Well Meaning Dad to an important appointment. Despite her nervousness, Barbie Margot expresses gratitude and determination as she prepares to see her gynecologist. With encouragement from her friends and family, she confidently announces her purpose to the receptionist, leading to a humorous cut to black.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Character development
  • Unexpected twist
Weaknesses
  • Minimal external conflict
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, reflection, and anticipation, setting up a unique and unexpected situation for Barbie Margot. The mix of tones keeps the audience engaged and interested in her character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Barbie Margot going to see her gynecologist adds depth to her character and showcases her independence and growth. It introduces a unique and unexpected situation that drives the scene forward.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Barbie Margot's visit to her gynecologist, which adds a new layer to her character development. It moves the story forward by showing her growth and independence.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of societal expectations and personal identity, with a humorous and satirical approach. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, especially Barbie Margot, are well-developed and show growth and independence. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the scene and keep the audience engaged.

Character Changes: 8

Barbie Margot undergoes significant character growth and independence in the scene, moving towards a new phase in her life. This change sets up future developments for her character.

Internal Goal: 8

Barbie Margot's internal goal in this scene is to face a personal challenge with courage and determination. This reflects her deeper need for validation and acceptance, as well as her desire to overcome obstacles and prove herself.

External Goal: 7

Barbie Margot's external goal in this scene is to attend a gynecologist appointment, which reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in terms of her health and well-being.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on Barbie Margot's internal growth and independence rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. The audience is left wondering how Barbie Margot will navigate the situation.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on Barbie Margot's personal growth and independence rather than high-stakes conflicts.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showing Barbie Margot's growth and independence. It sets up future plot developments and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reveal at the end, which subverts the audience's expectations and adds a layer of humor and surprise to the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between authenticity and societal expectations. Barbie Margot's choice to wear Birkenstocks in a superficial environment like Los Angeles highlights this conflict and challenges the values of appearance and conformity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, balancing humor with reflection and anticipation. Barbie Margot's journey to independence evokes feelings of joy and pride.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the humor, reflection, and anticipation present in the script. It showcases the characters' personalities and drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, relatable characters, and unexpected twist at the end. The humor and irony keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense leading up to the final reveal. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the audience engaged and interested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions. The visual elements are well-crafted and enhance the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the transition from Barbie Land to the Real World, emphasizing Barbie Margot's journey of self-discovery. The use of Helen Mirren's voiceover adds a reflective tone, which is fitting for the conclusion of the screenplay.
  • The dialogue among the characters is light-hearted and supportive, showcasing the camaraderie and encouragement that Barbie Margot receives from her friends and family. This helps to establish a sense of community and love, which is essential for the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The humor in the dialogue, particularly with the mix of Spanish and English, adds a layer of cultural richness and relatability. However, the line 'That’s appropriation, Dad!' feels slightly out of place and could benefit from a more nuanced delivery or context to avoid coming off as overly didactic.
  • Barbie Margot's nervousness and excitement are palpable, which is crucial for the audience to connect with her character at this pivotal moment. However, the transition from her emotional moment in the previous scene to this one could be smoother, as it feels somewhat abrupt.
  • The final line, where Barbie Margot proudly announces her purpose for the visit, is impactful and serves as a humorous punchline. However, the cut to black immediately after may leave some viewers wanting more closure or a brief moment to reflect on the significance of her statement.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Barbie Margot before she enters the building, allowing her to process the emotional weight of her journey. This could enhance the transition from the previous scene.
  • Explore the dynamics of the characters' relationships further, perhaps by including a moment where they share a personal anecdote or advice that resonates with Barbie Margot, deepening the emotional stakes.
  • Revisit the line about appropriation to ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the scene. It could be rephrased or contextualized to maintain the light-heartedness while still addressing the topic.
  • To enhance the impact of the final line, consider a brief pause or reaction shot from the receptionist before cutting to black, allowing the audience to absorb the significance of Barbie Margot's statement.