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Scene 1 -  Dystopian Future and Terminator Arrival
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY

by

James Cameron

and

William Wisher


Revised final shooting script
1 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Downtown L.A. Noon on a hot summer day. On an EXTREME LONG LENS the
lunchtime crowd stacks up into a wall of humanity. In SLOW MOTION
they move in herds among the glittering rows of cars jammed bumper to
bumper. Heat ripples distort the torrent of faces. The image is
surreal, dreamy... and like a dream it begins very slowly to

DISSOLVE TO:

2 EXT. CITY RUINS - NIGHT

Same spot as the last shot, but now it is a landscape in Hell. The
cars are stopped in rusted rows, still bumper to bumper. The
skyline of buildings beyond has been shattered by some
unimaginable force like a row of kicked-down sandcastles.
Wind blows through the desolation, keening with the sound of ten
million dead souls. It scurries the ashes into drifts, stark
white in the moonlight against the charred rubble.

A TITLE CARD FADES IN:

LOS ANGELES, July 11, 2029

3 ANGLE ON a heap of fire-blackened human bones. Beyond the mound is a
vast tundra of skulls and shattered concrete. The rush hour crowd
burned down in their tracks.

4 WE DISSOLVE TO a playground... where intense heat has half-melted the
jungle gym, the blast has warped the swing set, the merry-go-round
has sagged in the firestorm. Small skulls look accusingly from the
ash-drifts. WE HEAR the distant echo of children's voices... playing
and laughing in the sun. A silly, sing-songy rhyme as WE TRACKS
SLOWLY over seared asphalt where the faint hieroglyphs of hopscotch
lines are still visible.

CAMERA comes to rest on a burnt and rusted tricycle... next to the
tiny skull of its owner. HOLD ON THIS IMAGE as a female VOICE speaks:

VOICE
3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997.
The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war
Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new
nightmare, the war against the Machines...

A metal foot crushes the skull like china.

TILT UP, revealing a humanoid machine holding a massive battle rifle.
It looks like a CHROME SKELETON... a high-tech Death figure. It is
the endoskeleton of a Series 800 terminator. Its glowing red eyes
compassionlessly sweep the dead terrain, hunting.

The SOUNDS of ROARING TURBINES. Searchlights blaze down as a
formation of flying HK (Hunter-Killer) patrol machines passes
overhead. PAN WITH THEM toward the jagged horizon, beyond which we
see flashes, and hear the distant thunder of a pitched battle in
progress.
5 EXT. BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT

THE BATTLE. Human troops is desperate combat with the machines for
possession of the dead Earth. The humans are a ragtag guerrilla
army. Skynet's weapons consist of Ground HKs (tank-like robot
gun-platforms), flying Aerial HKs, four-legged gun-pods called
Centurions, and the humanoid terminators in various forms.

SEQUENCE OF RAPID CUTS:
5A Explosions! Beam-weapons firing like searing strobe-light.
5B A gunner is an armored personnel carrier fires a LAW rocket at a
pursuing Aerial HK, bringing it down in a fiery explosion.
5C Another APC is crushed under the treads of a massive Ground HK.

5D A TEAM OF GUERRILLAS in a intense fire-fight with terminator
5E endoskeletons in the ruins of a building. Three terminator
5F endoskeletons advance, firing rapidly. Another (complete cyborg),
with flesh ripped open and back broken, gropes for a rifle on the
ground.

5G A Centurion overruns a human firing position. Soldiers are cut
down as they run. Fiery explosions light the ranks of advancing
machines.

6 IN A BLASTED GUN EMPLACEMENT at the edge of battle, a man watches
the combat with night-vision binoculars. He wears the uniform of a
guerrilla general, and a black beret. He is still amid running,
shouting techs and officers.

C.U. MAN, pushing slowly in as the battle rages O.S. He lowers the
binoculars. He is forty-five years old. Features severe. The left
side of his face is heavily scarred. A patch covers that eye. An
impressive man, forged in the furnace of a lifetime of war. The name
stitched on the band of his beret is CONNOR. We push in until his
eyes fill frame, then...

DISSOLVE TO:

FIRE. SLOW, BOILING, ENORMOUS. FILLING FRAME.

VOICE (SARAH CONNOR)
Skynet, the computer which controlled the machines,
sent two terminators back through time. Their
mission: to destroy the leader of the human
Resistance... John Connor. My son.

The first terminator was programmed to strike at
me, in the year 1984... before John was born.
It failed.

The second was set to strike at John himself,
when he was still a child. As before, the
Resistance was able to send a lone warrior. A
protector for John. It was just a question of
which one of them would reach him first...

DISSOLVE TO:
7 EXT. TRUCKSTOP - NIGHT

Wild fingers of BLUE-WHITE ELECTRIC ARCS dance in a steel canyon
formed by two TRACTOR TRAILERS, parked side by side in the back lot
of an all-night truck stop. Then...

The strange lightning forms a circular opening in mid-air, and in
the sudden flare of light we see a FIGURE in a SPHERE OF ENERGY.
Then the FRAME WHITES OUT with an explosive THUNDERCLAP!

Through the clearing vapor we see the figure clearly... a naked man.
TERMINATOR has come through. Physique: massive, perfect. Face:
devoid of emotion. Terminator stands and impassively surveys its
surroundings.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary In a desolate future overrun by machines, a Terminator is sent back through time to terminate the leader of the resistance, John Connor.
Strengths "The scene offers a fantastic introduction to the dystopian future of the Terminator universe, effectively setting up the stakes and providing a visceral sense of the war between man and machine. The arrival of the Terminator at the end of the scene also effectively sets up the film's plot in a dramatic fashion."
Weaknesses "While the scene is visually striking, there's not a lot of character development or dialogue to work with, which may turn off viewers who crave more interpersonal drama in their sci-fi films."
Critique This scene is a strong opening for Terminator 2: Judgment Day, showcasing the stark contrast between the bustling city life and the desolate ruin of a post-apocalyptic world. The use of slow motion adds to the dreamlike quality of the image, creating a surreal atmosphere. The transition from the city to the ruins is effective and jarring, drawing the viewer into the darker tone of the film.

The title card sets the stage for the time travel aspect of the story, creating a sense of urgency and impending doom. The heap of fire-blackened bones and tundra of skulls and shattered concrete adds to the sense of devastation and loss, setting the stage for the war against the machines.

The scene with the burnt and rusted tricycle and the small skull of its owner is particularly haunting, emphasizing the cost of the war and the destruction of innocent lives. The female voiceover provides exposition and backstory in a concise and effective manner, adding to the emotional weight of the scene.

The reveal of the Series 800 terminator and the formation of flying HK patrol machines is a strong visual cue for the audience, introducing the main antagonists of the film. The rapid cuts of the battle scene showcase the technology and brutality of the war, setting up the conflict that will drive the story.

The introduction of John Connor's mother Sarah in the voiceover provides additional context and emotional stakes for the story, tying back to the first film and setting up the time travel element. The final reveal of the Terminator entering the present through a sphere of energy is a dramatic and iconic moment, setting up the conflict between the Terminator and John Connor. Overall, this scene effectively sets up the world, characters, and conflict of Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
Suggestions The scene is vivid and paints a strong visual image, but there are a few suggestions that could enhance it further:

1. Create a stronger sense of contrast between the present-day city and the post-apocalyptic future. Right now, the transition between the two feels a bit abrupt. Consider building up the present-day setting more before transitioning to the ruins of the future. This would make the change more jarring and impactful.

2. Develop the female voiceover character more. Right now, she feels like a detached narrator. Consider giving her a stronger presence in the scene, perhaps by incorporating her into the present-day city shots or having her interact directly with the Terminator.

3. Establish the main characters earlier. The scene doesn't introduce Sarah or John Connor until quite a bit later. Consider introducing them earlier to give the audience a clearer idea of what the story is about and who the main players are.

4. Show more emotion from the Terminator. Right now, it comes across as a bit robotic (which is obviously intentional), but adding small hints of humanity could make it a more compelling character. For example, perhaps it shows curiosity about the ruins around it or hesitates briefly before crushing the skull.

Overall, the scene sets a strong tone and establishes the bleak world of the story well. Adding in these few tweaks could make it even more effective.



Scene 2 -  Terminator Takes Over Diner
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
8 INT. TRUCK STOP DINER - NIGHT

On a back route to north L.A. A handful of local TRUCKERS hunch over
chili-sizes, CAT hats pushed back on their heads. Three BIKERS are
playing a game of pool in the back, their Miller empties lining the
table's rail. The dive's owner, LLOYD, a fat, aging biker-type in a
soiled apron, stands behind the bar. Nothing much going on...

Then the front door opens and a big naked guy strolls in -- that
doesn't happen every night. All eyes simultaneously swivel toward
Terminator. Its emotionless gaze passes over the customers as it
walks calmly through the room. Everyone frozen, not sure how to
react.

8A TERMINATOR POV. A digitized electronic scan of the room, overlaid
with alphanumeric readouts which change faster than the human eye
can follow. In POV we move past the staring truckers, past the
owner and the awestruck WAITRESS, and approach a large nasty-looking
biker puffing on a cigar. His body is outlined, or "selected", and
thousands of estimated measurements appear. His clothing has been
analyzed and deemed suitable...

8B TERMINATOR
I need your clothes, your boots, and your
motorcycle.

The big biker's eyes narrow. He takes a long draw on this cigar,
the tip cherry-red hot.

CIGAR BIKER
You forgot to say please.

He grinds the cigar out on Terminator's chest. Which produces not
the slight reaction of pain. Terminator calmly, and without
expression, grabs Cigar by his meaty upper arm...
Cigar screams from the hydraulic grip.

Terminator doesn't see Cigar's friend, behind him, holding his pool
cue by the narrow end like a Louisville Slugger. The heavy send
whistles in a powerful swing and CRACKS IN TWO across the back of
Terminator's head.
Terminator seems not to notice. Doesn't even blink. Without
releasing his grip on Cigar, he snaps his arm straight back and grabs
Pool Cue by the front of his jacket. Suddenly the heavyset biker
finds himself flying through the nearest window. CRAASSH!

Terminator hurls Cigar, all 230 pounds of him, clear over the bar,
through the serving window into the kitchen, where he lands on the
big flat GRILL. We hear a SOUND like SIZZLING BACON as Cigar
screams, flopping jerking. He rolls off in a smoking heap.

The third biker whips out a knife with a eight-inch blade and slashes
at Terminator's face.

Terminator grabs the arcing blade with his bare hand. Holding it by
the razor-sharp blade he jerks is from the guy's hand.
Ultra-fast here: He flips it. Grabs the handle like you're supposed
to hold a knife. Grabs the biker and slams him face-down over the
bar. Then brings the knife whistling down, pinning the biker's
shoulder to the bar top with his own steel.

9 INT. KITCHEN

The doors BANGS OPEN and Terminator strides in.
The Mexican cook does a fast fade as Terminator walks toward Cigar,
who is cursing in pain on the floor.

With his deep-fried fingers he struggles to get out the .45 auto
tucked under his leather jacket. But he can't even hold onto it.
Terminator takes it from him. Instead of pointing it at him,
Terminator carefully examines weapon, analyzing its caliber and
operating condition. Terminator never threatens... that's a human
thing. He just takes.

Cigar senses what he must do when the emotionless eyes come back to
him. He slides the keys to his bike across the floor to Terminator's
foot. Then painfully starts getting out of his jacket.

10 INT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator strides from the kitchen, fully clothed now in a black
leather jacket, leather riding pants, and heavy, clean boots. He
moves toward the moaning biker pinned to the pool table. Without
slowing his stride he jerks the knife out. The guy slumps to the
floor, groaning, behind him.

Terminator continues toward the front of the diner, passing Lloyd,
the owner. At the door, he comes abreast of two truckers who sit
frozen like a snapshot in mid-bite. One of the truckers finally
nods.

TRUCKER
Evening...

Terminator impassively stares back. Then moves on out the door.
11 EXT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator walks out, surveying the parked Harleys. Sticks the .45
in his belt and swings one leg over a massive CUSTOM ELECTRO-GLIDE.
He slips the dagger in his boot and the key in the ignition. Kicks
over the engine. It catches with a roar and he slams the heavy iron
into gear with a KLUNK.

Lloyd appears at the diner's door with a sawed-off 10-GAUGE
WINCHESTER LEVER-ACTION SHOTGUN. He fires into the air and jacks
around round in fast, aiming at Terminator's back.

LLOYD
I can't let you take the man's wheels, son.
Now get off or I'll put you down.

Terminator turns and considers by coldly. He eases the shifter up
into neutral. Rocks the bike onto its kickstand. Swings him leg
over and walks calmly toward the guy.

Terminator strides right up to Lloyd, staring straight into the
shotgun's muzzle. Lloyd starts sweating, trying to decide is he's
going to kill a man in cold blood. He's still trying to decide when
Terminator's hand blurs out like a striking cobra and is somehow
suddenly holding the shotgun.

Lloyd gapes, knowing he's screwed. Then...
Terminator reaches toward him. Oh shit...
And slips the sunglasses out of Lloyd's shirt pocket. Puts them on.
Strides back to the Harley and roars off in a shower of gravel.

12 EXT. FREEWAY - NIGHT

Terminator roars down the freeway, heading for L.A. Cold neon flares
across the chrome of the big bike. The 10-gauge is jammed through
the clutch and brake cables, across the handlebars. The lights flow
over Terminator's wrap-around sunglasses like the tracks of tracer
rounds.

CUT TO:

13 EXT. OVERPASS - NIGHT

The First Street Bridge. Rusting chain-link fence and graffiti-
covered walls. An L.A.P.D. BLACK-AND-WHITE cruises the empty street.

A TREMENDOUS BLUE-WHITE GLARE suddenly spills out between the columns
of the overpass. The young UNIFORMED COP in the car whips his head
around at the source of the light. He pulls over quickly, in time
to see...

13A The powerfully arcing electrical discharge reaches its peak between
the columns. Lightning climbs the chain-link fence and light
standards, lighting up the night, and papers swirl in a blasting
whirlwind.

13B The cop climbs from his cruiser as the glow fades.
He sees vapor dissipating as he approaches the spot where he saw the
strange light. He draws his revolver and cautiously moves into the
shadows between the rows of pillars.

A NAKED MAN glides from a shadowed doorway behind the cop. Nothing
special about him. Certainly not built like a terminator. The flash
of light and fact that he is naked are pretty good clues that he
just arrived from the future. His features are handsome bordering
on severe. His eyes are gray ice. Penetrating. Intelligent.

THE COP spins at a sound. Too late. Mr. X is already on him. The
blow is lighting fast and the cop drops like a bag of sand.

LOW ANGLE as the unconscious cop hits the deck, his BERETTA 9mm
AUTOMATIC clattering next to him. A hand ENTERS FRAME and picks up
this pistol.

CUT TO:

13C HIGHLY POLISHED BLACK SHOES rounding the rear tire of the police
cruiser. FOLLOW THE SHOES to the cruiser's door then MOVE UP as
Mr. X, dressed now in LAPD blue, climbs behind the wheel. He
looks and acts exactly like a cop. Cool, alert, confident in his
power, his expression emotionless and judgmental.
Mr. X, now Officer X, puts the car in gear and drives into the night.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary The Terminator walks into a truck stop diner, demanding clothes, boots, and a motorcycle from patrons. When one biker resists, Terminator takes matters into his own hands, tossing bikers out windows, grabbing a knife barehanded, and taking the outfit he wants. He walks out with everyone watching as he rides away on the stolen motorcycle.
Strengths
  • Intense tone and action-packed scenes keep the viewer engaged
  • The Terminator's emotionless and calculating behavior sets up his character
Weaknesses
  • Lack of clear protagonist
  • Dialogue is minimal
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the Terminator's arrival in Los Angeles. The action is clear and concise, and the dialogue is well-crafted to establish the characters and their reactions to the Terminator's presence.

One potential critique is that the action may be a bit too over-the-top for some viewers, with the Terminator shrugging off injuries and tossing bikers around with ease. However, this is a trademark of the Terminator series and may not necessarily detract from the scene.

Another potential critique is that the introduction of Officer X at the end may feel a bit disjointed from the rest of the scene. However, this could also be seen as a deliberate setup for future plot developments.

Overall, the scene effectively establishes the Terminator's unstoppable nature and sets the stage for the action to come.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. However, here are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Consider adding more description to the setting. While the diner is described in detail, there is little information about the surrounding area or the atmosphere of the scene.

2. Make the Terminator's entrance even more dramatic. While his appearance is certainly attention-grabbing, consider adding more description, such as the reaction of the waitress or the sound of the door slamming open.

3. Provide more information about the other characters in the scene. While the bikers and truckers are briefly described, adding more detail to their appearance and personalities can help readers get a better sense of the dynamics between them.

4. Consider shortening some of the action sequences. While the fight scenes are exciting, they may be a bit lengthy for a movie script. Cutting down on some of the blows and describing the action in a more concise way can help keep the pacing tight.



Scene 3 -  Introducing Sarah Connor
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6
14 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE/GARAGE - DAY

TIGHT ON YOUNG JOHN CONNOR, who at his moment is ten years old and
busy reassembling the carburetor on his Honda 125 dirtbike. He has
ripped Levi's and long stringy hair. A sullen mouth. Eyes which
reveal an intelligence as sharp as a scalpel. The Ramones' "I Wanna
Be Sedated" blasts from a boom box next to him.

A WOMAN, JANELLA VOIGHT, stands in the doorway of the garage,
yelling over the music.

WOMAN
...John? John! Get in here right now and
clean up that pigsty of yours.

John's friend TIM, a thirteen-year-old Hispanic kid, watches as John
replies by turning up the volume on the boom box.
Janelle gives up with a SLAM of the house's back door.

TIM
Your foster parents are kinda dicks, right?

JOHN
Gimme that Phillips right there.

15 INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Janelle storms into the room. TOD VOIGHT, her husband, watches
sports on the TV. They're both in their thirties. Middle-class
working stiffs.
JANELLE
I swear I've had it with that goddamn kid.
He won't even answer me.
(neither does he)
Todd? Are you gonna sit there or are you gonna
do something?

He sighs. Throws down the TV's remote and heads for the garage.

16 INT. GARAGE

John hops on the bike. Kick-starts it. Tim picks up John's nylon
bag, then climbs on the back. Todd ENTERS and shouts over the
engine, which John revs louder and louder.

TODD
John! Get your ass inside right now and do
what your mother says!

John pins Todd with a defiant glare.

JOHN
She's not my mother, Todd!

He revs the engine and peels out of the garage, with Tim almost
falling off the back. They take off down the street.

17 EXT. VACANT LOT/DRAINAGE CANAL

John cuts through a vacant lot to a trail running beside a fenced-in
drainage canal. He guns the bike through a hole in the retaining
fence. Tim's eyes go wide as they roar down the concrete embankment.

17A IN THE DRAINAGE CANAL John zig-zags along, throwing up a
roostertail of muddy water. Tim shouts, pretending he didn't just
see his life flash before his eyes. He slaps John on the back.

TIM
Major moves, homes! So... where is your
real mom, anyway?
(John doesn't answer)
She dead or something?

It's hard to read John's expression.

JOHN
She might as well be.

John twists the throttle angrily and the bike lunges forward.

CUT TO:

18 EXT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - DAY

A SIGN on a chain link fence topped with concertina wire reads:
PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE. Beyond it
squats an imposing four-story building. Institutional brick.
Barred windows. About as inviting as KGB headquarters. Security
guards patrol the manicured grass.

19 INT. HOSPITAL - MAXIMUM SECURITY WING

Sunlight is a barred slash on the bare institutional wall. The room
is empty of all furnishings save the bed, a stainless steel sink,
toilet, and a dented metal mirror. WE HEAR a rhythmic grunting,
small explosions of breath in perfectly-metered time.

PAN TO a bedframe leaned upright against the wall, legs facing
outward. A pair of sweaty hands grip one leg. Tendons knot and
release as SOMEONE does pull-ups. A man of tangled hair hides the
face that comes INTO FRAME, dips out, comes back.

WIDER. A WOMAN in a tank top and hospital pants in hanging from the
top leg of the vertical bedframe. Her body is straight and taut.
Knees bent so the feet clear the ground. The arms are lean and
muscular. The inmate, face hidden, pulls up, dips, pulls up. Like
a machine. No change in rhythm.

20 INT. HOSPITAL/CORRIDOR

FIGURES MOVE TOWARD US down a corridor of polished tile and two-
tone walls. DR. PETER SILBERMAN, a smug criminal psychologist,
leads a group of young INTERNS. Following laconically, are THREE
BURLY ATTENDANTS.

SILBERMAN
The next patient is a 29-year old female
diagnosed as acute schizo-affective disorder.
The usual indicators... depression, anxiety,
violent acting-out, delusions of persecution.
(the interns nod judiciously)
Here we are.

Silberman stops at one of the SOUNDPROOF STEEL DOORS. There is a two-
way speaker beneath a tiny window. Silberman flips the intercom
switch.

21 INT. CELL

Silberman's scrubbed and cheerful face at cell window. HIS VOICE
comes over the tinny speaker.

SILBERMAN
'Morning, Sarah.

REVERSE ANGLE as she turns slowly into CLOSE UP.
SARAH CONNOR is not the same woman we remember from last time. Her
eyes peer out through a wild tangle of hair like those of a cornered
animal. Defiant and intense, but skittering around looking for
escape at the same time. Fight or flight. Down one cheek is a long
scar, from just below the eye to her upper lip.
Her VOICE is a low and chilling monotone.
SARAH
Good morning, Dr. Silberman. How's the knee?

22 INT. CORRIDOR

Silberman's smug composure drops a second. Then returns.

SILBERMAN
Fine, Sarah.
(he switches off, speaks to
the interns)
She, uh... stabbed me in the kneecap with a
screwdriver a few weeks ago.

Sarah watches them talking about her through the glass, but can't
hear them. She feels like a lab animal. The interns look in at her
through the glass as Silberman talks. With her face drawn, eyes
haggard and hair wild, she looks like she belongs where she is.

SILBERMAN
The delusional architecture is interesting.
She believes a machine called a "terminator",
which looks human of course, was sent back
though time to kill her. And also that the
father of her child was a soldier, sent to
protect her... he was from the future too...
(he smiles)
The year 2029, if I remember correctly.
(the interns chuckle)
Let's move on, shall we?

As the interns walk on, Silberman steps close to DOUGLAS, the head
attendant, and speaks low.

SILBERMAN
Douglas, I don't like seeing the patients
disturbing their rooms like this. See that she
takes her thorazine, would you?

DOUGLAS is 6'4", 250 pounds and warm-hearted at a rattlesnake. He
nods, catching Silberman's meaning, and gestures for the other
attendants to hang back as Silberman moves on in his rounds.
Genres: ["sci-fi","action","drama"]

Summary Dr. Silberman leads a group of interns to visit Sarah Connor in a mental institution, where she is being treated for her belief that a terminator from the future is trying to kill her. Silberman talks down to Sarah, and instructs her attendant to make sure she takes her medication.
Strengths
  • Introduces an important character in the film series
  • Provides backstory and context for the main plot
Weaknesses
  • Silberman's treatment of Sarah is dismissive and harsh, which may be triggering for some viewers
  • The scene is mostly exposition, with little action or movement
Critique This scene is well-written and engaging, providing a strong introduction to the character of young John Connor and setting up the presence of his foster parents. The dialogue is realistic and effectively conveys the relationships between the characters. The use of music creates an atmosphere and adds dimension to the scene.

One potential critique is that the character of Sarah Connor, who is prominently featured in the first two Terminator films, only appears briefly in this scene and is not given much to do or say. However, this could be a deliberate choice to save her reveal for later in the story.

Overall, this scene effectively establishes characters and sets up conflicts and tensions that will propel the story forward.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and sets up important character and plot elements. However, here are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Show, don't tell: Instead of having Silberman explain Sarah Connor's delusions, consider showing them through her behavior and interactions with others. This will make the scene more active and engaging.

2. Add more subtext: While Todd and Janelle's frustration with John is clear, consider adding layers of subtext to their interactions that reveal more about their characters and relationship. This will make the scene more complex and interesting.

3. Increase tension and stakes: While John's escape on his dirt bike is exciting, consider increasing the tension and stakes of the scene by adding more obstacles or consequences for his actions. This will make the scene more gripping and suspenseful.

Overall, these changes can help make this scene more memorable and impactful in the overall story.



Scene 4 -  Medication and Theft
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
23 INT. CELL

Sarah looks up as the cell door opens. Douglas walks in slowly,
idly tapping his POLICE BATON against the door in a ominous rhythm.
The other two orderlies ease in behind him. One of them carries a
STUN BATON (like a sawed-off cattle prod). The other has a tray with
cups of red liquid-thorazine.

DOUGLAS
Time to take you meds, Connor.

Sarah faces him, weight centered. Feral eyes darting from one to the
other.
SARAH
You take it.

Douglas grins, casual --

DOUGLAS
Now you know you got to be good 'cause you up
for review this afternoon...

SARAH
I'm not taking it. Now I don't want any
trouble...

DOUGLAS
Ain't no trouble at all --

He whips the baton in a whistling backhand, which --
WHAP! Takes her square in the stomach. She doubles over and drops
to her knees, unable to breathe. Douglas tips the bed and it slams
down with a crash, right new to her. He takes her stun wand from
the other attendant and walks forward.

TIGHT ON SARAH, grimacing and struggling to breathe.

SARAH
You... son of a... AAARRGH!!

The stun wand hits her between shoulder blades as she tries to rise.
It drives her to the floor, pinning her like a bug. Little
ELECTRIC ARCS CRACKLE as the baton makes her writhe in pain.
Douglas grabs her by the hair and jerks her up to her knees. Holds
the cup of thorazine in front of her lips.

DOUGLAS
Last call, sugar.

Gasping, she chokes the zombie juice down.

CUT TO:

24 EXT. BANK PARKING LOT - DAY

John furtively hunches before a Ready-Teller machine at the rear of
a local bank while his friend Tim stands lookout. John slips a
stolen ATM card into the machine slot. It is something he's rigged
up, because trailing from the card is ribbon-wire which goes to
some kind of black-box electronics unit he's got in his ever-present
knapsack. He holds the pack between his knees and pulls out a
little lap-top keyboard, which is also connected to the black-box.

John enters a few commands and the plasma-screen displays the PIN
number for that account. He quickly enters the number on the Ready-
Teller's keypad and asks it for 300 bucks. The machine whirs then
begins dispensing twenty-dollar bills. Tim looks back over his
shoulder amazed.

JOHN
Easy money!
TIM
Where'd you learn all this stuff?

John collects the twenties as the machine kicks them out. A cool and
professional electronic-age thief at ten years old.

JOHN
From my mom. My real mom, I mean. Come on
baby...
(he grabs the last bills)
Let's go!

They sprint around the corner to an --

25 EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BANK

They huddle behind the building as John counts out Tim's share.
He folds five twenties and palms them to the other kid. When John
opens his wallet to put in his money, Tim notices a picture in a
plastic sleeve.

TIM
That her?

John reluctantly shows his friend the Polaroid. It is a shot of
Sarah. Pregnant, in a jeep near the Mexican border. John doesn't
know it now, but he will carry the photo with him for over 30 years,
and give it to a young man named Kyle Reese, who will travel back in
time to become his father. Yes, that photo.

TIM
So she's pretty cool, huh?

JOHN
Actually, no, she's a complete psycho. That's
why she's up at Pescedero. She tries to blow up
a computer factory, but she got shot and arrested.

TIM
No shit?

JOHN
Yeah, she's a total loser. C'mon, let's check
out the 7-Eleven, whatya say?

John has tried to sound casual, but we see in his eyes that is really
hurts. He slaps Tim on the shoulder and they jump onto his Honda.
John fires up and they whine off down the alley.

CUT TO:

26 INT. POLICE CRUISER - DAY

CLOSE ON COMPUTER TERMINAL, attached to the dash. A Juvenile
Division file. Subject: John Connor. Below his ARREST RECORD are
his vital stats. Mother: Sarah Connor. Legal Guardians: Todd and
Janelle Voight. And below their names, an address: 523 S. Almond.
Reseda, Ca.
OFFICER X stares at the screen for a moment. Then gets out the car.

27 INT./EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE - DAY

TIGHT ON FRONT DOOR as Todd Voight opens it, revealing the unsmiling
face of Officer X beyond the screen door. Todd greets him with a
weary sigh.

OFFICER X
Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?

TODD
That's right, officer. What's he done now?

Officer X ignores the question. He casually scans the living room.

OFFICER X
Could I speak with him, please?

Todd shrugs, showing the cop he's past his patience with the boy.

TODD
Well, you could if he was here. Be he took off
on his bike this morning. Could be anywhere.
You gonna tell me what his is about?

OFFICER X
I just need to ask him a few questions.

Janelle appears in the doorway behind Todd, concerned.

JANELLE
There was a guy here this morning asking about
him, too.

TODD
Yeah, big guy. On a bike. Has that got
something to do with it?

Officer X registers the significance of that. He realizes who the
big guy must be. He smiles. Reassuringly shakes his head no.

OFFICER X
I wouldn't worry. Do you have a photograph
of John?

Todd stares unhappily at the cop. Turns to Janelle.

TODD
Get the album, Janelle.

CUT TO:

28 EXT. STREET

ANGLE THROUGH AN ALLEY from the main street. We see John and Tim
flash by on the Honda a block away. Hold a beat. Then...
A BIG CHROME WHEEL ENTERS FRAME. BOOM UP a leather-clad leg to
Terminator's implacable face. It surveys the area slowly as the
bike idles, then kicks it into gear and moves on, scanning in a
slow shark-like manner, not aware that it missed its prey by
seconds.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["sci-fi","action","drama"]

Summary The Terminator violently acquires clothing and transportation before continuing its mission, while Sarah Connor is forced to take medication in her cell. John and his friend Tim successfully steal money from an ATM, but John's sadness about his mother's situation is revealed.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Tension building between characters
  • Developing themes
Weaknesses
  • Slightly cliched dialogue
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would critique this scene as follows:

The scene starts off with a strong sense of tension, with Sarah facing off against the orderlies in her cell. However, the dialogue feels a bit clichéd and predictable, with Sarah refusing to take her meds and the orderlies resorting to violence to subdue her. The use of the stun baton and thorazine feels like it's been done before in other movies and does not add anything new to the story.

The scene then abruptly cuts to John and Tim at the ATM, which feels jarring and disjointed. While the dialogue between the two boys establishes their friendship and John's electronic skills, the scene does not seem to have any relevance to the previous one. It feels like a random interlude that has been inserted into the script.

The introduction of the police officer and his search for John also feels out of place. The scene seems to be setting up some sort of conflict or danger for John, but it's not clear what that is or how it relates to the larger story. The appearance of the terminator at the end feels like a contrived plot device to create suspense and add some action to the scene.

Overall, while the scene has some tension and action, it lacks a clear sense of purpose and direction. The dialogue and actions of the characters feel clichéd and predictable, and the scene does not move the story forward in any meaningful way.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene in the cell is very brutal and violent, and it may not be necessary to portray such extreme physical abuse towards the character Sarah. It can be toned down to still show the harsh reality of the situation without being too graphic.

Secondly, it could be made clearer why John and Tim were stealing money from the ATM, as it feels disconnected from the rest of the plot. Perhaps it could be hinted at that they need the money to fund something related to the future war against the machines.

Thirdly, the introduction of Officer X and his search for John could be given more significance and tension in order to tie it into the main storyline. This could involve incorporating more clues or hints about the Terminator's mission and how it relates to John's safety.

Overall, the scene could benefit from more clear connections to the main plot and a toning down of violence towards Sarah.



Scene 5 -  Kyle Reese's Dream Visit
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
29 INT. SARAH'S CELL - DAY

CLOSE ON SARAH. She is shackled, hands and feet, to the bed.
Sunlight falls across her pale face. A hand enter frame, gently
stroking her cheek. She wakes up to see --

KYLE REESE. Sitting on the edge of her bed, looking exactly the
same as we last saw him in 1984. Scruffy blonde hair and a long
raincoat.

SARAH
Kyle..? You're dead.

He gives her a gentle smile.

REESE
I know. This is a dream, Sarah.

SARAH
Oh. Yeah. They... make me take this stuff...

He puts a finger to her lips. Then silently unfastens her restraints.
They gaze into each other's eyes. And in the look that his death
and the horror she has been through since hasn't touched their love
at all.

SARAH
Hold me.

She melts into Reese's arms. Pulls him to her.

REESE
I love you. I always will.

SARAH
Oh, God... Kyle. I need you so much.

She kisses him passionately. They are locked together in a timeless
moment. PUSH IN TIGHT on Sarah as she buries her face in his
shoulder. She shuts her eyes tight. Stay on Sarah as Reese speaks.
He voice is strangely cold.

REESE (O.S.)
Where's John, Sarah?

Sarah opens her eyes and he is no longer in her arms. He is standing
across the room. Pinning her with an accusing gaze.

SARAH
They took him from me.
REESE
It's John who's the target now. You have to
protect him. He's wide open.

SARAH
I know!

REESE
Don't quit, Sarah. Our son need you.

SARAH
(struggling not to cry)
I know, but I'm not as strong as I'm supposed
to be. I can't do it. I'm screwing up the
mission.

REESE
Remember the message... the future is not set.
There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

He turns toward the door.

SARAH
Kyle, don't go!

REESE
(turning back to her)
There's not much time left in the world, Sarah.

Reese goes out the door. Sarah jumps from the bed, frantic. Yanks
the door open. Follow her out.

30 INT. CORRIDOR

Sarah staggers from her cell. Reese is already, impossibly, a
hundred feet away, striding down the dim corridor. A silhouette
in a long coat, disappearing around a corner.

Sarah runs after him, her bare feet slapping the cold linoleum.
Her hospital gown floats out behind her as she dream-runs along the
seemingly infinite corridor. She reaches the corner, slides around
it, and...

30A Slams right into the arms of Douglas and his three helpers. They
grab her as she struggles and screams. The Silberman is there,
smiling soothingly. They force her down and she is pinned to
the floor, screaming. A new figure approaches... one even more
menacing.

TERMINATOR walks toward her, with heavy measured steps. Backlit,
eyes concealed by the sunglasses, it stands over her like the angel
of death itself. It reaches down and...
Takes her hand. Lifts her up. Leads her to a door. They go through
together. Emerging into...
30B A BEAUTIFUL SUNLIGHT MORNING. CHILDREN are playing nearby... sliding
down slides, clambering through a jungle gym. Sarah knows this
dream know... it's is the worst of all her nightmares. She starts
to scream but no sound comes out.

30C THE SKY EXPLODES into WHITE LIGHT. Everything is seared by the unholy
glare, hotter than a thousand suns. The children ignite like
match heads. Sarah is burning, screaming silently, everything silent
and overexposed. Terminator's flesh and clothing are burning,
silently. It grips her hand, Virgil to her Dante in this tour of the
nuclear-age Inferno.

30D THE BLAST WAVE HITS... a near-solid wall of compressed air followed
by 250-mph winds. The children, charcoal statues frozen in positions
of play, explode into black leaves of ash and swirl away. SOUND
hit now, with a thunderous roar. Sarah's scream merges with the
howl of the wind as the blast hits her, exploding the flesh from her
bones. Beside her, Terminator is stripped of its burnt flesh,
becoming a smoking skeleton of steel.

30E Then she wake up... in her cell, shackled to the bed. Sunlight hurts
her eyes. She looks desperate and defeated. She knows the war is
coming. It visits her every time she closes her eyes. Lost and
alone, Sarah feels all hope recede for herself and for humanity.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["science fiction","drama","thriller"]

Summary Kyle Reese visits Sarah Connor in a dream to remind her to protect their son John from the Terminator, while the Terminator infiltrates the mental institution to get to Sarah.
Strengths "Strong emotional impact, use of dream sequence to connect past and present, effective use of flashbacks and nightmares to establish Sarah's character"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue and action felt heavy-handed"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and emotionally charged, with effective use of dream imagery to convey Sarah's inner turmoil and fear. The relationship between Sarah and Kyle is well-established, and their love remains strong despite death and tragedy. The scene also effectively conveys the stakes of the story as Sarah is told that her son is the new target and must be protected.

However, there are a few areas for improvement. The dialogue between Sarah and Kyle is somewhat on-the-nose, with characters explicitly stating their feelings rather than showing them through actions. Additionally, the transition from the hospital to the nuclear nightmare could be smoother - it feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous scene. Finally, the characterization of the Terminator is somewhat unclear - it seems to be helping Sarah in this dream, but we know from previous scenes that it is a deadly force trying to kill her and her son. More clarity on its motivations and actions would help enhance its role in the scene.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to clarify why Kyle Reese is visiting Sarah in her dream. Is it his spirit visiting her, or is it a hallucination induced by the medication? Adding this detail could add more depth to the scene and the characters' emotional states. Additionally, the dialogue between them could benefit from more natural and realistic phrasing to make the conversation more believable. Finally, the visual description of the nuclear explosion could be more vivid and impactful to fully convey the horror and devastation of the event.



Scene 6 -  Interview with Sarah Connor and Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
31 INT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - INTERVIEW ROOM

TIGHT ON VIDEO SCREEN, playing a previously-recorded session.
Sarah is in a strait-jacket, talking softly.

VIDEO SARAH
... it's... like a giant strobe light, burning
right through my eyes... but somehow I can still
see. Look, you know the dream's the same every
night, why do I have to --

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Please continue...

31A The REAL SARAH dispassionately watches herself on the screen. Her
expression is controlled. Silberman watches her watching. They are
in a brightly-lit interview room. TWO ATTENDANTS stands nearby.

31B VIDEO SARAH
The children look like burnt paper... black,
not moving. Then the blast wave hits them and
they fly apart like leaves..."

Video Sarah can't go on. Real Sarah watches herself cry on tape,
her expression cold. We hear Silberman speak on the tape.

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Dreams about cataclysm, or the end of the world,
are very common, Sarah...

Video Sarah cuts him off, her mood shifting to sudden rage.
VIDEO SARAH
It's not just a dream. It's real, you moron!
I know the date is happens!!

VIDEO SILBERMAN
I'm sure it feels very real to you --

VIDEO SARAH
On August 29th 1997 it's going to feel pretty
fucking real to you, too! Anybody not wearing
number two million sunblock in gonna have a
real bad day, get it?

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Relax now, Sarah --

VIDEO SARAH
You think you're alive and safe, but you're
already dead. Everybody, you, him...
(she gestures are the
attendant)
everybody... you're all fucking dead!

She is raving, half out of her chair. The orderly moves to inject
her with something.

VIDEO SARAH
You're the one living in a dream, Silberman,
not me! Because I know it happens. It
happens!

31C Silberman pauses the tape... freezing Sarah's contorted face.
Real Sarah turns away from the screen, he expression stony.

SARAH
I was afraid... and confused. I feel much
better, now. Clearer.

Silberman gives a calculated paternal smile.

SILBERMAN
Yes. Your attitude have been very positive
lately.

Sarah looks up at him. Her voice is hopeful.

SARAH
It has helped me a lot to have a goal, something
to look forward to.

SILBERMAN
And what it that?

As she answers, WE PULL BACK, revealing that we have been looking
through a one-way mirror from an adjacent OBSERVATION ROOM. In the
shadows of the observation room we see that interns from the
earlier rounds, and a couple of STAFF PSYCHOLOGISTS. They smoke and
make the occasional note.
SARAH
You said I could be transferred to the minimum
security wing and have visitors if I showed
improvement in six months. Well, it's been six
months, and I was looking forward to seeing my
son.

SILBERMAN
I see. Let's go back to what you were saying
about these terminator machines. Now you think
they don't exist?

CLOSE ON SARAH. Her voice sounds hollow.

SARAH
They don't exist. I see that now.

Silberman leans back, studying her. Toying with her.

SILBERMAN
But you've told me on many occasions about how
you crushed one in a hydraulic press.

SARAH
If I had, there would have been some evidence.
They would have found something at the factory.

SILBERMAN
I see. So you don't believe anymore that the
company covered it up?

Sarah shakes her head no.

CUT TO:

32 EXT. CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS - DAY

The corporate headquarters of a mega-electronic corporation. As
imposing cubist castle of black glass.

33 INT. SECOND FLOOR/ELEVATORS

The elevator doors slide open with a whisper and MILES DYSON strides
out. Black. In his early thirties. The star of the Special
Projects Division. He's brilliant, aggressive, driven. Dyson walks
down the corridor, swinging his arms... a man in a hurry. A man
with much to do.

He reaches a solid security door and zips his ELECTRONIC KEY-CARD
through the scanner. The door unlocks with a clunk.
The sign next to the door reads: SPECIAL PROJECTS DIVISION:
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

34 INT. SECURITY STATION

He nods to the guards as he passes through the security checkpoint.
They can see all activities on the floor on their bank of monitors.
He unlocks another service door with his card and enters --
35 INT. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (A.I.) LAB

The lab is quite large, comprising banks of processors, disk drives,
test bays, prototype assembly areas. Extremely high tech.

DYSON
Greetings, troops.

He is jokingly saluted by fellow members. Not a lab coat in sight.
This is strictly jeans and sneakers crowd. All young and bright.
They sit at their consoles drinking Coke and changing technology as
we know it. A young LAB ASSISTANT rushes over to Dyson. Name tag
says he's BRYANT.

BRYANT
Mr. Dyson? The material teams wants to run
another test on the uh... on it.

DYSON
Yup. Come on. I'll get it.

Dyson produces an unusual-looking KEY from his pocket as they stride
through the lab. Bryant has to hustle to keep up.

BRYANT
Listen, Mr. Dyson, I know I haven't been here
that long, but I was wondering if you could tell
me... I mean, if you know...

DYSON
Know what?

BRYANT
Well... where it came from.

DYSON
I asked them that question once. Know what
they told me? Don't ask.

36 INT. VAULT ROOM

Dyson enters with Bryant. Dyson and a GUARD stand together before
what looks like a high-tech bank vault. It requires two keys to
open, like the launch controls in a nuclear silo. The guard and
Dyson insert their keys and turn them simultaneously. Dyson then
enters a passcode at a console and the vault unlocks itself with a
sequence of clunks. The door swings open and Dyson enters. Bryant
stays outside with the guard, who notes Dyson's name and item on a
clipboard.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Sarah Connor is being interviewed by Dr. Silberman to determine if she is sane and making progress in her treatment. Meanwhile, Miles Dyson, the head of the Special Projects Division at Cyberdyne Systems, enters the company's secure facilities to continue work on a project shrouded in secrecy.
Strengths "The tension and sense of foreboding throughout the scene keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters. The mystery of Dyson's project adds an extra layer of intrigue."
Weaknesses "The dialogue can feel a bit on-the-nose at times, especially in Silberman's interactions with Sarah."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written, but there are a few areas for improvement.

Firstly, there are some awkward sentences and clunky descriptions that could be streamlined for better readability. For example, "Silberman watches her watching" could be rephrased to something like "Silberman observes her impassive gaze on the screen."

In addition, the dialogue between Video Sarah and Silberman feels a bit forced and unrealistic. It's unlikely that a psychologist would call their patient a "moron" and the sudden shift to rage feels too convenient for the plot.

Lastly, while the setting and characters are clear, there could be more sensory details to fully immerse the reader in the scene. What does the room smell like? What colors are prominent? These small details can make a big difference in adding depth to the writing.

Overall, the scene has potential and could benefit from some edits to make it more engaging and realistic.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to provide more action and tension in this scene. As it is written, it is mainly focused on dialogue and exposition. Perhaps adding in some physical action, such as Sarah struggling against the straitjacket or the orderly forcibly injecting her, would help heighten the stakes and make the scene more engaging. Additionally, there could be more use of visual storytelling, such as close-ups of Sarah's face to show her emotional state or shots of the intern and psychologist's reactions to her outburst. Finally, adding in more specific details or nuances to the characters' dialogue and interactions could help make them feel more complex and three-dimensional.



Scene 7 -  Escape and Pursuit
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
37 INT. VAULT

Dyson walks to a stainless steel cabinet and opens it. Inside is a
small artifact in a sealed container of inert gas. IT -- a ceramic
rectangle, about the size of a domino, the color of liver. It has
been shattered, painstakingly reconstructed and mounted on a metal
frame.
Dyson removes the artifact, it its insert-gas, and sets it on a
specially-designed cart. He handles it like the Turin Shroud.
Dyson closes the cabinet. Turns to the one next to it. Opens its
door. In this cabinet is a larger object... an intricate METAL HAND
AND FOREARM.

At the elbow, the metal is twisted and crushed. But the forearm and
hand are intact. Its metal surface scorched and discolored, it
stands upright in a vacuum flask, as if saluting. This is all that
remains of the terminator Sarah destroyed. Dyson stares at it, lost
in thought. The he closes the cabinet, BLACKING OUT FRAME.

CUT TO:

38 INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/OBSERVATION ROOM

We can see through the one-way mirror into the interview room where
Sarah is still talking with Silberman. The OTHER PSYCHOLOGISTS are
still watching through the mirror. Reviewing Sarah's condition.

SARAH
So what do you think, Doctor? I've shown a lot
of improvement, haven't I?

SILBERMAN
You see, Sarah... here's the problem. I know
how smart you are, and I think you're just
telling me what I want to hear. I don't think
you really believe who you've been telling me
today.

We go tight on Sarah's reaction. And we see that Silberman is right.
She was playing him and it didn't work. And she knows she's fucked.
Her tone becomes quite pleading.

SARAH
You have to let me see my son. Please. It's
very important. He's in danger. At least let
me call him --

Silberman pins her with his sweet reptilian gaze.

SILBERMAN
I'm afraid not. Not for a while. I don't see
any choice but to recommend to the review board
that you stay here another six months.

Sarah's eyes turn cold and lethal in one second. She knows she's
lost. She knows this guy is just playing with her, and she --
LEAPS ACROSS THE TABLE AT HIM.

SARAH
YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

Silberman jumps back and the attendants dive on her. She is writhing
and twisting like a bobcat. Silberman whips open a drawer and pulls
out a syringe. He jabs it into her and she yells --
SARAH
Goddammit. Let me go!! Silberman! You don't
know what you're doing! You fuck! You're dead!
You hear me!!

Silberman signals and the attendants drag her out.
He looks at the doctors behind the glass. Shrugs.

SILBERMAN
Model citizen.

CUT TO:

39 EXT. 7-ELEVEN STORE - DAY

Officer X has stopped two young girls in front of a 7-Eleven. He is
leaning out the cruiser window and showing them the picture of John.
The first girl nods.

FIRST GIRL
Yeah, he was here about fifteen minutes ago. I
think he said he was going to the Galleria.

OFFICER X
The what?

The second girl points toward a massive complex visible about the
houses several blocks away. Officer X stares at it.

40 EXT. STREET

Terminator cruises slowly on the bike. Scanning. He crosses an
overpass above a drainage canal and whips his head around at the
sound of a dirt-bike engine.

40A TERMINATOR POV -- OF TWO KIDS ON A BIKE DOWN IN THE CANAL.
THE IMAGE SNAP-ZOOMS IN. FREEZES ON THE DRIVER'S FACE.
"IDENT POS" FLASHES NEXT TO THE BLURRY IMAGE OF JOHN.

40B Terminator wheel the Harley around, cutting onto a street which runs
parallel to the canal. Terminator hauls ass at keep John in sight.
He catches glimpses of the kid through trees and houses. Loses him.
Catches one last glimpse of him heading into the parking lot of a
large SHOPPING MALL.

41 INT. GALLERIA - DAY

John works his way through a crowded video arcade. Sees some guys he
knows. Stops to talk, striking a pose. Mall rats in the element.
We don't hear the dialogue.

42 INT. GALLERIA PARKING LOT

TERMINATOR'S idling Harley shakes the parking garage walls. He stops
at a row of bikes near the escalators. John's little Honda sits
proudly with the big street bikes. Terminator parks.
43 INT. GALLERIA

OFFICER X is moving through the flow of shoppers. The place is a zoo.
He stops some kids and shows them the picture. They shrug.

43A IN A CROWDED VIDEO ARCADE JOHN is lost in an intense battle, going for
a new high score at "Missile Command". He parries deftly at the enemy
ICBMs deploy their MIRVs... the warheads stream down... it's more than
he can deal with. The world gets nuked. Game over. He slouches
away from the game, looking for another. Bored.

RACK FOCUS to Officer X passing the entrance of the store behind him.
The cop moves on, down the concourse, out of sight.
John gets in an "Afterburner" simulator game.

43B ON TERMINATOR, walking through the crowd in slow motion. Scanning.
He moves with methodical purpose, knowing the target is close. We
see that he is, incredibly, carrying a box of LONG-STEM ROSES. Like
some hopeful guy with a hot date.

43C THE COP is pointed toward the arcade by come kids hanging out at the
multi-cinema. He walks into the maze of kids engaged in synthesized
combat. Cheap electronic effects blare above the crowd noise.

43D JOHN is shooting down MiGs at Mach 2. His friend Tim slides up next
to him. Taps him on the shoulder, trying to play it cool.

TIM
Some cop is scoping for you, dude.

John looks around the corner of the "Afterburner" ride. Sees the cop
showing a picture to some of the kids. The kids point his way.

John ducks just as the cop glances over. He slinks out the other side
of the ride and heads for the back of the store, instinctively
retreating. Sarah has taught him that cops are bad news.

THE COP scans the crowded arcade. Glimpses John, looking back as he
moves around a row of machines. Starts toward him.

JOHN sees the cop homing in and starts walking fast. Looks back.
THE COP is shoving through clots of kids. One of them is slammed to
the floor. As eddy of outrage behind the cop as he gains speed.
John breaks into run. So does the cop.
Kids scatter like ten-pins as the cop charges after John.
John sprints through the arcade's back officer and store-rooms.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Dyson retrieves a relic from the future while Terminator tracks down John, who is hiding in a shopping mall. Meanwhile, Sarah's attempt to convince Dr. Silberman of the truth ends in violence.
Strengths "The scene expertly weaves together the different plotlines and keeps up the tension throughout. The action is fast-paced and thrilling."
Weaknesses "The dialogue between Sarah and Dr. Silberman feels a bit on-the-nose, and some of the scenes feel a bit cliche for the genre."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effective in building tension. The description of the artifacts in the vault creates a sense of importance and intrigue, setting up future plot points. The interaction between Sarah and Silberman is also well-drawn, with Sarah's desperation and anger coming through strongly. The chase scene in the mall is well-paced and exciting, with clear action beats and a strong visual sense. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved. Some of the dialogue, particularly in the video arcade scene, feels a bit generic and could benefit from more specific character voices. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more sensory details - smells, sounds, physical sensations - to further immerse the reader in the action. Overall, though, the scene is effective and well-executed.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more tension and urgency to the moment when Sarah attempts to attack Silberman. This could be done by using more sensory language to describe Sarah's physical reactions, such as her breathing and heart rate, and by using more active verbs to describe her movements. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more context as to why Sarah is so desperate to see her son and why she believes he is in danger. This could help to heighten the stakes and make the audience more invested in Sarah's situation. Finally, the scene with Officer X and John could be shortened or condensed to make it more efficient and keep the pace of the story moving. This could involve cutting some of the dialogue or finding ways to convey information more visually or through action.



Scene 8 -  Terminators Face Off
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
44 INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR

John emerges through a firedoor into a long corridor with connects
to the parking garage. He's running full out, when around the corner
ahead of him comes...

TERMINATOR. Time stretches to nightmarish crawl as John tries to
brake to a stop. Terminator reaches into the box of roses.
SLOW MOTION. The cold back steel of the SHOTGUN emerges at the box
falls open, the roses spilling to the floor. TERMINATOR'S BOOT
crushes the flowers as it moves forward.

JOHN, transfixed by terror, is trapped in the narrow featureless
shooting gallery of the corridor. THE SHOTGUN COMES UP. Terminator
expressionlessly strides forward. Jacks a round into the chamber,
slow and fluid.

John looks behind him for a place to run. Sees the cop coming toward
him, pulling his Beretta pistol. Incredibly, John realizes the cop
is aiming his gun at him!
John looks back at Terminator. He is starting into the black muzzle
of the 10-gauge now. Aimed right at his head. He realizes he's
screwed. Then something crazy happens...

TERMINATOR
Get down.

John instinctively ducks. Terminator pulls the trigger. KABOOM!

THE COP catches the SHOTGUN'S BLAST square in the chest just as he
fires the pistol. The pistol's shot goes wild.

TERMINATOR pumps another round into him. The another. And another.
Advancing a step each time he fires, he empties the shotgun into the
cop, blowing his backward down the corridor. The sound is DEAFENING.
Then silence.

THE COP lies still on his back.

44A Terminator is now standing right over John. They both watch as the
cop, incredibly, sits up unharmed and gets to his feet. Terminator
grabs John roughly by his jacket. Clutches the kid to his chest
then spins around at the cop opens fire with the Beretta.

44B The "cop", who not only isn't a cop, he clearly isn't even human,
pulls the trigger so fast it almost seems like a machine-pistol.

ON TERMINATOR'S BACK, as the 9mm slugs slam into it, punching bloody
holes in the motorcycle jacket.

JOHN is bug-eyed with fear, but completely unscratched. Terminator's
body has blocked the bullets.

The Beretta CLACKS empty. Terminator turns at the sound.
Shoves John behind a Coke machine. Drops the empty shotgun. Starts
walking toward the "cop".
The empty magazine clatters to the floor.
The cop inserts another one. Snaps back the slide.
Terminator still has twenty feet to go.
He doesn't break his purposeful stride.

The cop opens fire. Bullets rake Terminator's chest. He doesn't
even flinch.
Ten feet to go. BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM! Neither the cop nor Terminator
show the slightest change in expression as the gun rips Terminator's
wardrobe to shreds.
CLACK. The pistol empties again. Terminator stops two feet in front
of the cop. The appraise each other for a second.

We realize now that the cop is a terminator too. We don't know the
details yet, but let's call him the T-1000 (since that's what he is).
A newer model than the one we've come to know so well (the 800
Series "Arnold"). This guy's a prototype... and he's got quite a
few surprises.

T-1000 AND TERMINATOR size each other up. Terminator moves first.
He grabs T-1000 in his massive hands but the T-1000 snaps back with a
counter-grip. After about two seconds of intense slamming, the walls
on both sides of the corridor have all the plaster smashed in, and
the two battling machines have blasted through the wall and
disappeared.

JOHN, totally stunned by all this, remembers to move. He staggers to
his feet. Stumble-runs toward the parking garage.

44C THIRD LEVEL CONCOURSE. A plate glass window EXPLODES and Terminator
crashes through to the tile floor like a sack of cement amid the
screaming crowd.

44D T-1000 turns without a word and heads back through the store after
John, accelerating slowly into a loping, predatory run.

44E Terminator is totally still. A JAPANESE TOURIST cautiously steps
forward and takes a picture of the body. Suddenly, Terminator's
eyes snap open. The stunned tourist backs away.

He sits up and looks around. Gets his bearings. Rises smoothly to
his feet. All servos seem to be working fine. The tourist's camera
whirs as the motor-drive runs on by itself, taking shot after show.
The owner isn't even looking through the eyepiece, he's so shocked.

45 INT. PARKING GARAGE

John is frantically pumping the kick-start of his bike, scared
shitless and the damned thing won't start. His hands are shaking so
badly he can't find the choke. He looks up to see --
The T-1000 running down the corridor toward him.
John fumbles with the choke. The bike catches. He slams it in gear
and spins the bike out into the main aisle of the garage.

John looks back... the T-1000 is behind him, running. He twists the
throttle and guns the little bike forward. Incredibly, the T-1000
is gaining. This nightmare isn't happening. John races out the exit
ramp, and charges right into the street.

46 EXT. STREET

John shoots into the busy traffic. Cuts off a BIG-RIG TOW TRUCK.
The DRIVER swears. Hits his air horn. What the driver doesn't see
is the cop, running faster than O.J. Simpson at the airport, who
emerges onto the street and runs back at his truck.

46A IN THE TRUCK. The driver hears a thump as something slams against his
door, then feels himself pulled right out. T-1000 slides in and
takes his place. The truck is still rolling along about 25 mph.
T-1000 accelerates after John without missing a beat. It can see him,
up ahead, weaving through traffic.

46B Out of the garage entrance, Terminator roars onto the street on the
Harley.
He accelerates after the others.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Terminator and T-1000 finally come face to face in a dramatic showdown, while John struggles to escape the relentless pursuit.
Strengths "The action and tension are expertly crafted, heightening the sense of danger and excitement. The reveal of the T-1000 as a new model of Terminator is a significant plot development that sets up the rest of the film. The characters' motivations and intentions are clear and consistent."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat lacking in depth and could benefit from more characterization. The scene relies heavily on spectacle and action, without as high of an emotional impact as some other scenes in the film."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that the above scene is well-written. It has a lot of tension and action, and it keeps the audience engaged. The use of slow-motion and descriptions of the action help to make the scene more vivid. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved.

Firstly, the description of the T-1000 is a bit confusing. The writer mentions that he is a newer model than the Arnold, but doesn't explain what the Arnold is. Some additional information about the different models of Terminators would help to clarify things.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved. The line "This nightmare isn't happening" feels a bit too on-the-nose and could be rephrased to sound more natural.

Overall, though, the scene is effective and well-written. It would be a great addition to an action movie.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and action-packed. However, there are a few suggestions that can be made to improve it:

1. Provide more description for the setting: While the scene is set in a service corridor and parking garage, there is little detail about the surroundings. Adding more description can help the audience visualize the scene and increase tension.

2. Add more emotional reaction for John: John is in a life-threatening situation, and while his fear is mentioned, there could be more emotive descriptions to add nuance to his actions and reactions.

3. Clarify the action sequences: The scene involves a lot of action, with two Terminators fighting and John trying to escape. Adding additional detail about who is doing what in each moment can help the audience follow the action more easily.

4. Consider adding dialogue: While the scene does have dialogue, the Terminator's single line of "Get down" feels lacking. Adding additional dialogue between the characters can help further the story and add depth to their motivations.

5. Consider the pacing: While the scene is exciting, there may be moments that could be shortened or cut to maintain the audience's attention, especially given the scene's placement as the eighth in a series. Cutting down on excessive detail or action can help maintain the scene's momentum.



Scene 9 -  Escape from the Kenworth Tow-Truck
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
47 EXT. FLOOD CONTROL CHANNEL

John slides his bike down the service ramp faster than he's ever done
it before. He races along the bottom of the canal, turning into a
narrower tributary which has vertical sides.

He looks back. No sign of pursuit.
47A Suddenly he sees the sun blocked out by a great shadow.
The Kenworth tow-truck... big as a house, all chrome and roaring
diesel engine... crashes through the fence and launches itself right
into the center of the canal.

It crashes down, 15 feet to the ground, going about 60, hits at an
angle and tears into the concrete wall with a hideous grinding of
metal. It ricochets back and forth between the walls then, bellowing
like a gunshot stegosaurus, it just keep on plowing forward, gathering
speed.

47B John looks back and sees this wall of metal almost filling the narrow
concrete canal and he milks every last bit of throttle the little bike
has. The Kenworth is all muscle, tearing along the canal like a train
in a tunnel. Its big tires send up huge sheets of muddy spray,
backlit in the setting sun. It looks like some kind of demon. And...
it's gaining.

47C ABOVE THEM, on the service road running parallel, Terminator is
fighting to overtake them. He looks down and sees John with the tow-
truck from Hell catching up to him. It is only about twenty feet
behind him and still gaining.

47D ANGLE IN THE CANAL, looking back past a desperate John, at the wall
of metal filling frame behind him.

47E ABOVE, Terminator cuts the bike suddenly hard to the left, leaving the
road. Hitting an earth embankment just right, he jumps the bike into
the air like Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape" and vaults the fence
bordering the canal. It slams down at the edge of the canal and tears
along, inches from the drop-off on a dirt path, accelerating past the
truck in the canal below.

47F John hits some water and slews momentarily, loosing speed. The
massive push-plate on the front of the truck slams into his back
fender. Panicked, he pulls a little ahead. All this is happening at
about sixty miles and hour. Top speed for the little dirt bike.
47G SLOW MOTION as Terminator jumps the bike again. This time the 700-
pound Harley sails out into space and drops into the canal. It arcs
down between the truck and John, hitting on its wheels. It bottoms
out, an explosion of sparks under the frame. Only the ultra-fast
reflexes of a machine could keep the bike upright. Terminator fights
for control.

47H He guns the throttle and the powerful bike roars up beside John's tiny
Honda.
Terminator sweeps the kid off his machine with one arm and swings him
onto the Harley, in front of him. John's Honda weaves and falls,
smashing instantly under thundering tires.

The Harley roars ahead. It hits eighty. Ahead is an overpass, and
supporting it is an abutment which bisects the canal into two
channels. The Harley thunders into one channel, which is essentially
a short tunnel.

47I The truck can't fit on either side. Neither can it stop, at that
speed. Tires locked, it slides on the muddy concrete and piles into
the concrete abutment at seventy.

47J Terminator and John emerge from the tunnel, looking back to see a
fireball blasting through behind them as the truck's side-tanks
explode.

Terminator stops the Harley. John peers around his body to see the
destruction. A burning wheel wobbles out of the tunnel and flops in
the mud. Terminator revs the bike and they roar away, down the canal,
disappearing around a bend.

47K ANGLE ON THE FIRE, as a column of black smoke rises from the overpass.
Smoke boils from the tunnel as well, and inside it is a solid wall of
flame. A figure appears in the fire.
Just an outline. Walking slowly... calmly.
The figure emerges from the flames.

It is human-shaped but far from human. A smooth chrome man. Not a
servo-mechanism like Terminator is underneath, with its complex
hydraulics and cables... this thing is a featureless, liquid chrome
surface, bending seamlessly at knees and elbows as it walks. It
reminds us of mercury. A mercury man. Its face is simple, unformed.
Unruffled by thousand-degree heat, it walks toward us.

With each step detail returns.
First the shape and lines of its clothing emerge from the liquid
chrome surface, then finer details... buttons, facial features,
ears...

47K But it's still al chrome. With its last step, the color returns to
everything. It is the cop again... handsome young face, blond hair,
mustache. Icy eyes. It stops and looks around.

It is a perfect chameleon. A liquid metal robot. A killing machine
with the ultimate skills of mimicry for infiltration of human society.

47L ANGLE NEARBY, as several police cruisers and a fire truck pull up.
T-1000 climbs out of the canal behind them. More cops arrive. T-1000
blends in perfectly. There are always cops at diasters and scenes of
violence. We now see why its choice of protective mimicry is so
perfect.

It walks among the other cops unnoticed.
Gets into one of the squad cars. Starts it and drives away.

48 EXT. SIDE STREET - NIGHT

Terminator, with John in front of him on the Harley, roars down the
empty street. John cranes his neck around to get a look at the
person/thing he is riding with. The image is strangely reminiscent
of father/son, out for an evening ride.

John is still in shock from the experience of what just happened and
he's just a ten-year kid, but he's also John Connor who will someday
rise to greatness, and we see a bit of that in him even know.

JOHN
Whoa... time out. Stop the bike!

Terminator immediately complies. He leans the bike into a turn.
They head into a nearby alley.

49 EXT. ALLEY

Terminator and John rolls into the alley and come to a stop. John
slides off the gas tank. Terminator impassively stares at him. John
checks him out. Tentatively speaks.

JOHN
Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are
a terminator, right?

TERMINATOR
Yes. Cyberdyne Systems, Model 101.

JOHN
No way!

John touches Terminator's skin. Then the blood on his jacket.
His mind overloads as the reality of it hits him.

JOHN
Holy shit... you're really real! I mean...
whoah!
(stepping back)
You're, uh... like a machine underneath, right...
but sort of alive outside?

TERMINATOR
I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over
a metal endoskeleton.

JOHN
This in intense. Get a grip, John. Okay, uh...
you're not here to kill me... I figured that part
out for myself. So what's the deal?
TERMINATOR
My mission is to protect you.

JOHN
Yeah? Who sent you?

TERMINATOR
You did. Thirty years from now you reprogrammed
me to be your protector here, in this time.

John gives him an amazed look.

JOHN
This is deep.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary John Connor, chased by the Kenworth Tow-Truck, is rescued by the Terminator who reveals himself to be his protector sent back in time.
Strengths "The scene is action-packed and well-paced, with a high level of conflict and tension. The reveal of the Terminator as John's protector is a thrilling moment. The dialogue between John and the Terminator is effective in building tension and establishing character relationships."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more impactful and emotional, given the weight of the situation. The scene could benefit from more nuanced character development and deeper exploration of the themes."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and visually vivid. The action is intense and the tension is high, particularly during the chase sequence with the Kenworth tow-truck. The dialogue between John and Terminator is also well-executed, with John's shock and disbelief at discovering that Terminator is real coming through strongly.

However, there is one area where this scene could be improved. The description of the T-1000 emerging from the flames and transforming into a liquid chrome man is somewhat confusingly written. The scene could benefit from clearer, more concise language that would allow the reader to more easily visualize what is happening on screen.

Overall, this scene effectively advances the plot and sets up the relationship between John and Terminator that will drive the rest of the story. It's a strong example of action writing that is both exciting and engaging.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more depth and emotion to John's character. The scene feels rushed and lacking in character development. We don't get to see much of John's reaction to the events happening around him, which could make the scene feel more intense and engaging. It would also be beneficial to give Terminator some more personality and character traits, instead of just being an emotionless machine. This could help to create a more dynamic relationship between the two characters and make the scene more impactful. Additionally, adding in some more sensory details, such as smells or sounds, could help to further immerse the audience in the scene and create a more vivid picture of the setting.



Scene 10 -  Escape and Tragedy
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
50 EXT. STREET - NIGHT

John and Terminator on the bike again, weaving through the side
streets. They blend into the evening traffic. In the darkness,
Terminator's wounds are not readily visible. John cranes his head up
and back.

JOHN
So this other guy? He's a terminator too,
right, like you?

TERMINATOR
Not like me. A T-1000. Advanced prototype.
A mimetic polyalloy.

JOHN
What does that mean?

TERMINATOR
Liquid metal.

JOHN
Radical.

TERMINATOR
You are targeted for termination. The T-1000
will not stop until it complete its mission.
Ever.

John mulls that over.

JOHN
Where we going?

TERMINATOR
We have to leave the city, immediately. And
avoid the authorities.

JOHN
Can I stop by my house?
TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000 will definitely try to
reacquire you there.

JOHN
You sure?

TERMINATOR
I would.

CUT TO:

51 EXT. PAYPHONE

John is quickly going through his pockets for change. He has plenty
of bills but no quarters.

JOHN
Look, Todd and Janelle are dicks but I gotta
warn them. Shit! You got a quarter?

Terminator reaches past John and smashes the cover plate off the
phone's cash box with the heel of his hand. A shower of change
tumbles out. Terminator hands one to John. John dials.

52 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Janelle Voight picks up the kitchen phone and cradles it with her
shoulder which she continues to chop vegetables with a large knife.
She answers sweetly.

JANELLE
Hello?

JOHN
(filtered through phone)
Janelle? It's me.

In the backyard, John's German Shepherd is going bonkers, barking at
something.

JANELLE
John? Where are you, honey? It's late. You
should come home, dear. I'm making a casserole.

AT THE PAYPHONE. John listens, an odd look on his face. He covers
the phone's mouthpiece and turns to Terminator.

JOHN
(whispering)
Something's wrong. She's never this nice.

IN THE VOIGHTS' KITCHEN. Todd comes through the kitchen's back door.
Just home from work. He ignores Janelle and opens the fridge. Grabs
a carton of milk. Takes a sip. Frowns at the dog's barking.
TODD
What the hell's the goddamn dog barking at?
SHUT UP, YOU MUTT!

TIGHT ON JANELLE as Todd growls around the kitchen behind her. He
passes OUT OF FRAME next to her. Janelle switches the phone to her
other hand then... THUNK! Her free hand seems to do something out of
frame. There is a gurgling, and the sound of liquid dribbling onto
the floor. (Don't go away. We'll find out what happened in a moment)

AT THE PAYPHONE

JOHN
The dog's really barking. Maybe it's already
there. What should I do?

Terminator takes the phone from John's hand. Janelle's voice is
floating through the receiver.

JANELLE
(filtered)
John? John, are you okay?

Terminator speaks into the phone in a perfect imitation of John's
voice...

TERMINATOR
(in John's voice)
I'm right here. I'm fine.
(to John, a whisper)
What's the dog's name?

JOHN
Max.

Terminator nods. Speaks into the phone.

TERMINATOR
Hey, Janelle, what's wrong with Wolfy? I can
hear him barking. Is he okay?

JANELLE
(filtered)
Wolfy's fine, honey. Where are you?

Terminator unceremoniously hangs up the phone. Turns to John.

TERMINATOR
Your foster parents are dead. Let's go.

Terminator heads for the bike. John, shocked, stares after him.

53 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/KITCHEN

Janelle hangs up the phone. Her expression is neutral. Calm.

PAN OVER along her arm, which is stretched out straight from the
shoulder. Partway along its length her arm has turned smoothly into
something else... a metal cylinder which tapers into a sword-like
spike. Now we see Todd Voight PINNED TO A KITCHEN CABINET by the
spike which has punched through his milk carton, through his mouth
and exits the back of his head into the cabinet door. His eyes are
glassy and lifeless.

The spike is withdrawn -- SWIISHHTT! -- so rapidly, Todd is actually
standing there a second before he slumps out of sight. THUMP.
53A Janelle doesn't bat an eye as the spike smoothly changes shape and
color, transforming back into a hand, and then...

53B JANELLE CHANGES rapidly into the COP we now know as the T-1000. The
change has liquid quality. T-1000 opens the back door.

54 EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BACKYARD - NIGHT

T-1000 approaches the big German Shepherd, which slinks away from it,
barking in fear. T-1000 walk right into CLOSE UP. Reaches down, OUT
OF FRAME. We hear that sickening THUNK followed by a shrill YELP.
Then T-1000's hand snaps up INTO FRAME holding a bloody dog collar.
The tag reads "MAX".
T-1000 nods thoughtfully. Heads back to the house.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Terminator and John flee the city while the T-1000 targets John's foster parents. They attempt to warn them but it's too late, and the T-1000 kills them both. Meanwhile, the T-1000 shows its ability to mimic and transform into anything it touches.
Strengths "Intense action and tension, strong character development for both John and Terminator, clear demonstration of the T-1000's abilities and ruthlessness"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue is a bit clunky and overly expository"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys suspense and danger. The dialogue between John and the Terminator does a good job of setting up the stakes and introducing the new threat of the T-1000. The use of the payphone and John's foster parents' house adds a sense of urgency and immediacy to the scene.

One minor critique would be the abruptness of Todd's death and the lack of reaction from Janelle. While this fits with the T-1000's cold, unfeeling nature, it might have been more effective to build up the tension and horror of the moment before revealing the T-1000's true identity. Additionally, some more description of the T-1000's physical transformation might have added to the visual impact of the scene.

Overall, this scene effectively advances the plot and raises the stakes for the characters.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. However, here are a few suggestions to consider:

- Provide better visual description of the action. While some actions are described well, such as Terminator smashing the cash box with his hand and Janelle's arm turning into a metal cylinder, other actions are not as clear. For example, it's not entirely clear how Todd is pinned to the cabinet with the spike and how T-1000 takes Max's collar.
- Consider adding more emotional depth to John's reaction to his foster parents' deaths. He seems shocked, but it may be more impactful if he shows more grief or anger.
- Develop Janelle's character a bit more before her transformation into T-1000. The sudden shift from sweetly chopping vegetables to a cold-blooded killer may feel jarring without any prior indication of her true nature.
- Play up the tension and urgency of their situation. While there is a sense of danger through the T-1000's pursuit of John, adding more time-sensitive constraints or obstacles for them to overcome can make the scene more exciting and engaging for the audience.



Scene 11 -  Escape and Discovery
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
55 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Dark. Off a quiet street. Terminator stands near the Harley,
watching John pace before him. John's brain is calling time-out.
This is all too weird.

JOHN
I need a minute here, okay? You're telling me
it can imitate anything it touches?

TERMINATOR
Anything it samples by physical contact.

John thinks about that, trying to grasp their opponent's parameters.

JOHN
Like it could disguise itself as anything...
a pack of cigarettes?

TERMINATOR
No. Only an object of equal size.

John's still reeling from meeting one terminator, which now seems
downright conventional next to the exotic new model.

JOHN
Well, why doesn't become a bomb or something to
get me?

TERMINATOR
It can't form complex machines. Guns and
explosives have chemicals, moving parts. It
doesn't work that way. But it can form solid
metal shapes.
56 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - NIGHT

T-1000 walks down the dark hall. It passes the bathroom and we see
the real Janelle's legs through the half-open door. The shower is
running. Her blood mixes with water on the white tile floor.

56A In John's bedroom the T-1000 begins searching methodically in the
dark.
Calmly and dispassionately ripping the room apart for any clues that
could lead it to its target. T-1000 finds a box of audio cassettes
marked "Messages from Mom". In it are some letters, and envelopes
filled with snapshots. It begins looking through some of the
photos...

SHOT OF JOHN AND SARAH during the missing years. Sarah in olive
cammos with an RPG 7 grenade launcher, teaching John how to aim.
Sarah with a group of military-clad Guatemalan men, standing next to
cases of Stinger missiles. John and Sarah in a Contra camp, deep in
the mountains.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary Terminator saves John from the T-1000, while the T-1000 kills John's foster parents. The T-1000 shows its ability to mimic anything it touches, and John tries to understand its limitations.
Strengths
  • Intense action and suspense
  • Reveals more about the T-1000's abilities
  • John's growing understanding of the situation adds depth to his character
Weaknesses
  • Some cliché dialogue
  • Foster parents are somewhat one-dimensional characters
Critique Overall, the scene is well written and engaging. The dialogue between John and the Terminator is informative and provides important exposition for the audience. The reveal of the new T-1000 model is suspenseful and sets up the conflict for the rest of the film.

One suggestion for improvement would be to make the transition between the two locations smoother. There is a sudden jump from the parking lot to the inside of the Voight house that could be more seamlessly executed with a shot or sound cue.

Additionally, there could be more visual description of the T-1000's actions as it searches through John's room. The scene is set up to be suspenseful, but more detail and sensory language could heighten the tension even further.

Overall, a strong scene with potential for even more impact with a few small adjustments.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more tension: The scene takes place in a dark parking lot and could benefit from some suspenseful music or sound effects to create a feeling of unease.

2. Use more descriptive language to paint a vivid picture: The scene description is very brief, and it could be improved with some more descriptive language. This would also help to create a more immersive experience for the viewer.

3. Develop the characters more: John and the Terminator's dialogue is functional but lacks depth. By fleshing out their motivations and emotions, the scene could become more engaging.

4. Use visual storytelling: The scene jumps to a different location without much context. By using visual cues and establishing shots, the viewer could more easily understand where they are and how it fits into the story.

5. Incorporate more action: The only action in the scene is the T-1000 searching in John's bedroom. By adding more action, such as a physical confrontation between John and the Terminator, the scene could become more dynamic.



Scene 12 -  Terminator's Mission Parameters
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 8
57 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

John is now sitting on the curb, lost in stunned thought. Terminator
stands above him, watching the street like a Doberman. He glances
down at John.

JOHN
We spent a lot of time in Nicaragua... places
like that. For a while she was with this crazy
ex-Green Beret guy, running guns. Then there
were some other guys. She'd shack up with
anybody she could learn from. So then she
could teach me how to be this great military
leader. Then she gets busted and it's like...
sorry kid, your mom's a psycho. Didn't you
know? It's like... everything I'd been brought
up to believe was just made-up fantasy, right?
I hated her for that.
(he looks up)
But everything she said was true.
(he stands)
We gotta get her out of there.

TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000's highest probability for
success now would be to copy Sarah Connor and
wait for you to make contact with her.

JOHN
Oh, great. And what happens to her?

Terminator's reply is matter-of-fact.

TERMINATOR
Typically, the subject being copied is
terminated.
JOHN
TERMINATED!? Shit! Why didn't you tell me?
We gotta right now!

TERMINATOR
Negative. She is not a mission priority.

JOHN
Yeah, well fuck you, she's a priority to me!

John strides away. Terminator goes after him and grabs him arm.
John struggles against the grip. Which doesn't do him much good.

JOHN
Hey, goddammit! What's your problem?

Starts dragging John back to the bike. John spots a couple of
collage-age slab-o-meat JOCK-TYPES across the street and starts
yelling to them.

JOHN
Help! HELP!! I'm being kidnapped! Get this
psycho off of me!

The TWO JOCKS start toward him. John yells in outrage to Terminator.

JOHN
Let go of me!!

To his surprise, Terminator's hand opens so fast John falls right on
his butt.
He looks up at the open hand.

JOHN
Oww! Why'd you do that?

TERMINATOR
You told me to.

John stares at him in amazement as he realizes...

JOHN
You have to do what I say?!

TERMINATOR
That is one of my mission parameters.

JOHN
Prove it... stand on one foot.

Terminator expressionlessly lifts one leg.
John grins. He's the first on his block...

JOHN
Cool! My own terminator. This is great!
The two guys get there and look at Terminator standing there calmly
with one leg up in the air. This big guy in black leather and dark
glasses, standing like a statue.

FIRST JOCK
Hey, kid. You okay?

John turns to him. No longer needing to be rescued.

JOHN
Take a hike, bozo.

FIRST JOCK
Yeah? Fuck you, you little dipshit.

JOHN
Dipshit? Did you say dipshit?!
(to Terminator)
Grab this guy.

Terminator complies instantly, hoisting him one-handed by the collar.
the guy's legs are pinwheeling.

JOHN
Now who's the dipshit, you jock douchebag?

Immediately, things get out of hand. The guy's friend jumps behind
Terminator and tries to grab him in a full nelson --
Terminator throws the first guy across the hood of a car --
Grabs the second by the hair, whips out his .45 in a quick blur, and
aims the muzzle at the guy's forehead.
John grabs Terminator's arm with a yell as he pulls the trigger --
John's weight is just enough to deflect the gun a few inches. The
guy flinches, stunned by the K-BOOM next to his ear. He stares,
shocked. Pissing himself. John is freaking out, too.
He screams at Terminator.

JOHN
Put the gun down! NOW!!

Terminator sets the .45 on the sidewalk. John scoops it up fast then
turns to the shocked civilians, who can't believe what just happened.

JOHN
Walk away.

They do. Fast. John grabs Terminator by the arm and tugs him toward
the bike. John still holds the gun, reluctant to give it back.

JOHN
Jesus... you were gonna kill that guy!

TERMINATOR
Of course. I'm a terminator.

John stares at him. Having your own terminator just became a little
bit less fun to him.
JOHN
Listen to me, very carefully, okay? You're not
a terminator any more. Alright? You got that?
You can't just go around killing people!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
Whattaya mean, why? 'Cause you can't!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
You just can't, okay? Trust me on this.

Terminator doesn't get it. John just stares at him. Frightened at
what just almost happened. He gets a glimpse of the responsibility
that comes with power. Finally he hands the .45 back to Terminator,
who puts it away.

JOHN
Look, I'm gonna go get my mom. You wanna come
along, that's fine with me.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary John and Terminator have a conversation about mission priorities, during which John learns that he can order the Terminator to do anything he wants. They then get into a scuffle with a couple of jock-types, which results in Terminator nearly killing one of them and John realizing the responsibility that comes with power.
Strengths "The scene showcases the power dynamic between John and Terminator, and the responsibility that comes with that power. The action sequence is intense and well-choreographed."
Weaknesses "The dialogue between John and Terminator is a bit repetitive, and the characterizations of the jocks are shallow."
Critique Overall, this scene in "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" is well-written with strong character development and tension. The dialogue is clear, concise, and effectively conveys each character's motivations and perspectives.

However, there are a couple of areas where the scene could be improved. First, there are some typos and grammatical errors present, such as missing punctuation and misspelling of "college-age." These distract from the flow of the scene and could be fixed with a thorough proofread.

Additionally, while the scene effectively establishes John's growing understanding of his power and responsibility, Terminator's lack of understanding of human morals and ethics is hammered home a little too heavily. The repetition of "why?" in response to John's explanations feels a bit forced and on-the-nose, and could be toned down to make the scene feel more natural.

Overall, though, this scene is a strong example of effective character development and tension-building through dialogue.
Suggestions The main issue with this scene is that it feels like it has too much going on. There are several different emotional beats, but they don't flow together smoothly and can feel disjointed. Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Focus on John's emotional discovery: The scene starts off with John opening up about his mother, but then quickly moves on to the T-1000 mission. Instead, the scene should focus on John's emotional journey, with the T-1000 mission serving as a backdrop. Cut down on the exposition about his mother's past and focus on his feelings of betrayal and realization that what she told him was true. This will make the scene more relatable and emotional for the audience.

2. Streamline the action: The scene goes from John yelling for help to the Terminator almost killing someone to John taking the gun away from the Terminator. It's too fast-paced and has too many conflicting emotions. Simplify the action so it's clear what's happening and why. For example, have the jock be aggressive towards John and the Terminator just steps in to protect him. This would make the Terminator's actions more justifiable and less shocking to the audience.

3. Remove the comedy: The scene has a lot of comedic elements, but they clash with the emotional beats and make it hard to take the scene seriously. Consider removing the jokes or altering them so they fit the tone of the scene better. The discovery that John can make the Terminator do anything he says could still be a humorous moment, but John's emotional journey should take center stage.

4. Tie up loose ends: The scene ends abruptly with John offering to bring the Terminator along to find Sarah Connor. It doesn't feel like a natural conclusion to the scene. Consider adding a beat where the Terminator acknowledges John's emotional journey or reacts to John taking away the gun. This will make the scene feel more cohesive and satisfying.

By focusing on John's emotional journey and streamlining the action, this scene can become a stronger and more impactful moment in the script.



Scene 13 -  Escape and Reunite
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
58 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BEDROOM - NIGHT

T-1000 finds an envelope... a letter from Sarah to John sent since
she's been at Pescadero State Hospital. It reads the return address
on the envelope. It has what it needs. It picks up a tape player
and the battered shoebox full of Sarah's tapes and exits.

CUT TO:

59 CLOSE ON A BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPH. The image is a nightmare from
the past. It is a surveillance camera still-frame from the L.A.
police station where the first terminator made such an impression in
1984. We see the blurry forms of the cop frozen in the emergency
lights of a burning corridor.

A black-clad figure stands at the end of the corridor. The guy has
short-cropped hair and dark glasses. An AR-80 assault rifle in one
hand, and a 12-gauge in the other -- holding them both like toy
pistols.
ANOTHER PHOTO is slapped on top of the first. Another still-frame
blow-up is placed over the last. Terminator looms in CLOSEUP.

DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY (O.S.)
These were taken at the West Highland police
station in 1984. You were there.

WIDER. We're in --
59A INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/PESCADERO - NIGHT

The photos are lying on the table in front of Sarah, placed there by
DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY. His partner DET. MOSSBERG, and Dr. Silberman,
sit at the table as well. Two uniformed cops, plus Douglas, stand by
the door. Sarah stares listlessly at the top photo. She's
withdrawn, haggard... drugged-looking.

MOSSBERG
He killed seventeen police officers that night.
Recognize him?

Weathersby slaps another black-and-white eight-by-ten on the table.
A closeup of Terminator taken by the Japanese tourist at the mall.
It's the same face.

MOSSBERG
This one was taken by a Japanese tourist today.

Sarah doesn't react. It's hard to tell she's thinking. Whether she's
up hope or is just in a drugged stupor.

WEATHERSBY
Ms. Connor, you've been told that your son's
missing. His foster parents have been murdered,
and we know this guy's involved. Talk to us.
Don't you care?

Sarah stares up at him. A cold and empty stare. He glances at
Silberman.
Then at his partner.

MOSSBERG
We're wasting out time.

One of the uniformed cops opens the door and Mossberg strides into
the hall. Weathersby and the two uniforms follow him out, with
Silberman right behind.

SILBERMAN
Sorry, gentleman...

TIGHT ON SARAH, slumped under the bright lights. Totally out of it.
Then we see her hand, creeping along the edge of the table toward the
stack of photos. She slips off the paper clip binding the stills
together, and hides it between her fingers. Douglas jerks her up by
the arms and leads her out.

CUT TO:

60 INT. SARAH'S CELL

Douglas inches up the last of Sarah's restraints. Then her leans
over her... looking down. Even wrecked as she is, we see the beauty
in her face. He bends down. We think he's going to kiss her.
Instead he runs his tongue across her face like a dog would. She
seems not to even see him. Her dull eyes past him. He can't
provoke a reaction. Even here, strapped down, the two of them alone,
she give him no superiority. He smirks and leaves. We hear the
sound of his night-stick tapping its way down the corridor, growing
fainter.

Sarah's eyes snap suddenly alert. There is intensity and resolve in
them. She slips the paper clip out from between her fingers and
awkwardly spreads it open into a straight piece of wire. With slow,
painful concentration she moves it toward the lock of the restraints
that bind her wrists to the bed at her sides.

CUT TO:

61 EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Terminator and John charge through the night on the Harley.
Streetlights flare past them like comets. Two serious guys with a
mission. One a ten-year old kid, the other a half-man/half-machine
cyborg from the post-Apocalyptic future.

CUT TO:

62 INT. SARAH'S CELL

TIGHT ON RESTRAINT LOCK as it unlatches... successfully picked by
Sarah's paper clip. This is not an easy thing to do. But Sarah
taught herself a lot of things in her years of hiding.

SARAH, her hands free, sits up and releases the Velcro straps on her
feet. She rolls off the bed and we see her in a whole new light.
She is totally alert, almost feral in her movements.

CUT TO:

63 EXT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

GUARD SHACK. A bored security guard glances up as an LAPD black-and-
white pulls up. He raises the barricade and nods at the T-1000/cop
as it passes.

THE CRUISER pulls in next to the other police vehicles. The T-1000
walks toward the main entrance.

CUT TO:

64 INT. SARAH'S CELL/CORRIDOR

Sarah is using the paper clip on the door lock. She hears an echoing
tapping sound. It's getting louder, coming her way. She goes back
to work on the lock.

65 IN THE CORRIDOR. Douglas the attendant is tapping his stick along
the wall like he does every night on his rounds. He shines a little
mag-light in the windows of the cells as he passes, barely slowing.

65A He rounds the corner. His footsteps echo in the dark hallway.
The tip of the stick hits the wall.
Tap, tap, tap... getting closer to Sarah's cell. He stops at the
door. He is about to shine his light in when he notices that a
utility closet across the hall is open. He goes to shut it,
absently flicking his light into the dark closet. He notices
something strange among the buckets and cleaning supplies. A mop lies
on the floor, with its handle snapped off about halfway up. The
other half is missing.

Douglas ponders this for half a second, then hears a SOUND behind him
and spins around. The sound he heard was Sarah's cell door.
The missing two feet of MOP HANDLE fill his vision as it CRACKS
viciously across the bridge of his nose.

250 pounds of doughy attendant hit the floor like a sack of cement.
Sarah slams the makeshift baton down expertly across the back of his
head, bouncing him off the linoleum. Lights out, Douglas.
She drags him into her cell and locks him in with his own keys. Then
swaps her mop-handle for his nice heavy night-stick.

65B Sarah moves down the dark corridor, cat-stepping in her bare feet.
She holds the baton like a pro, laid back along the forearm, police-
style. She looks dangerous.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["science fiction","action"]

Summary Sarah Connor escapes from her restraints and prepares to take revenge, while Terminator and John continue their mission to defeat the T-1000.
Strengths "Intense action and character development for Sarah Connor"
Weaknesses "The scene jumps between multiple locations and events"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively builds tension as Sarah Connor is interrogated by police and gains access to a weapon to escape her captivity. The use of different camera angles and settings creates a sense of urgency and intensity. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

Firstly, more character development and emotion could be added to Sarah's character. While she is portrayed as fierce and determined, it would be beneficial to explore her trauma and pain from her past experiences with the terminator. This would add more depth and complexity to her character, making the audience sympathize with her struggles and root for her success.

Additionally, the dialogue between the police and Sarah could be improved. The detectives' lines come across as generic and cliché, lacking in authenticity and individuality. Giving each character a distinct voice and personality would make the scene more engaging and memorable.

Finally, more attention could be given to small details, such as the sound effects and lighting, to enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene. For example, the sound of the paperclip picking the lock could be amplified, creating a sense of tension and suspense. Overall, refining these elements would create a more polished and impactful scene.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, I would suggest adding more depth to the scene between Sarah and the detectives in the interview room at Pescadero State Hospital. Right now, it feels very surface-level with the detectives simply trying to get information out of Sarah and her not reacting much. Perhaps adding some dialogue that gives insight into Sarah's emotions and thoughts would make the scene more impactful.

Additionally, I would suggest finding a way to better transition between the photo of the first Terminator at the police station and the detectives showing Sarah the photos. Right now, it feels like a sudden jump and can be disorienting for the audience.

Finally, I would suggest adding some more visual descriptions and action in the scene where Sarah picks the lock with a paper clip and takes down Douglas. It's a pivotal moment for her character, and it would benefit from some added tension and detail.



Scene 14 -  T-1000 Infiltrates Hospital
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
66 INT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE/CORRIDOR

A long corridor ends at a reception area, which is closed, and a
NIGHT RECEIVING DESK, which is a glass window where they can buzz you
in through a heavy door. A NIGHT NURSE types at a desk nearby. She
looks up at the sound of footsteps and sees a young cop (T-1000)
walking toward her.

T-1000
You have a Sarah Connor here?

She assumes he's with the other cops. Smiles.

NIGHT NURSE
Running late, aren't you?

She turns to the inner door to buzz him in and sees Silberman and the
cops coming toward the door from the other side.

NIGHT NURSE
Your friends are on their way out now...

When she turns back to the window, T-1000's no longer there. She
goes to the counter and leans out to see if he's at the drinking
fountain or someplace. No. Reception is empty. And so is the long
corridor beyond. She frowns. Too weird.

66A Silberman comes through the solenoid door with Mossberg and
Weathersby, the two uniformed cops, and the hospital security guard.
The guard retrieves his 9mm pistol from a lock-out box behind the
night desk. Silberman faces him.

SILBERMAN
Lewis, see these gentleman out and them lock
up for the night.
The security guard nods. Silberman goes back into the secure area of
the hospital and the cops walk down the long corridor to the main
doors. No sign of T-1000. Mossberg and the other cops exit, and
the guard locks the door behind them.

66B The guard walks slowly back along the long corridor. The hall is
dark, with the light at the night desk far ahead like a sanctuary.
His footsteps ring hollowly on the tile floor. His keys jingle.

66C ANGLE ON FLOOR as the guard's feet pass through FRAME. An instant
later the floor starts to move.
It shivers and bulges upward like a liquid mass, still retaining the
two-tone checkerboard of the tile. It hunches up silently into a
quivering shadow in the darkness past the guard.

66D Up ahead we hear typing. The night nurse has her back to us, working.
The guard stops as the drinking fountain. Bends to take a sip.
Behind him the fluid mass as reaches six feet of height and begins to
resolve rapidly into a human figure. It loses the color and texture
of the tile and becomes... THE GUARD.

T-1000's mass has been spread out a quarter of an inch thick over
several square yards of floor. The guard walked over the T-1000, and
his structure was sampled that instant. Now we see it drawing in and
pulling up to form the figure of the guard.

The T-1000/Guard's feet are the last to form, the last of the "liquid
floor" pulling in to form shiny black guard shoes. The shoes detach
with a faint sucking sound from the real floor as the T-1000/Guard
takes its first step.

66E The real guard spins at the sound of footsteps to see... himself.
He has one deeply disturbing moment to consider the ramifications of
that. Then he sees his double calmly raise its hand and,
inexplicably, points his right index finger directly at the real
guard's face, about a foot away. In a split second, the finger
spears out, elongating into a thin steel rod which snaps out like a
stiletto, slamming into the guard's eye.
It punches into the corner of the eye, past the eyeball like a trans-
orbital lobotomy tool, and emerges from the back of the guard's skull.

Life quietly empties from the guard's face. He is dead weight,
hanging from the rod/finger with suddenly reacts -- SSSNICK. As the
guard slumps, the T-1000 takes his weight easily with one hand and
walks him, like it's carrying a suit on a hanger, back toward the
night desk. The wounds are so tiny, no blood drips onto the floor.

66F ON THE NIGHT NURSE, glancing up as the T-1000/Guard walks past,
dragging something casually which she can't see because it's below
the countertop.

NIGHT NURSE
Whatcha got, Lewis?

T-1000/GUARD
Just some trash.
She nods, uninterested. Keeps typing. T-1000 moves past, dragging
the unseen guard toward a closet down the hall from the night
receiving station. T-1000/Guard removes the Browning High-Power
pistol and the keys from the real guard's belt, then stuffs the body
into the utility closet.

66G INT. CORRIDOR/NIGHT RECEIVING DESK

T-1000/Guard comes back out and glances at the nurse.

T-1000/GUARD
All set.

She glances toward it. Sees the Beretta in its holster.

NIGHT NURSE
Gotta check the gun first, Lewis.

T-1000/GUARD
Yeah, sorry.

T-1000 opens the locker and blocks it from her view with its body as
it mimes putting the gun in.

66H CLOSE ANGLE ON T-1000'S CHEST, from inside the locker. Instead of
setting the gun in the locker, it inserts the pistol into it own
chest, where is disappears inside like it was dropped into a pot of
hot fudge. It withdraws its hand. The chest is once again a surface
that looks like cloth, buttons, name-tag etc. You'd ever guess it was
really an intelligent liquid metal.

T-1000 slams the locker door and waits as the nurse hits the button
unlocking the door with a BUZZ-CLACK. T-1000/Guard goes through.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary The T-1000 infiltrates a hospital to find Sarah Connor. It kills a guard and impersonates him to gain access to the building.
Strengths "A suspenseful and thrilling sequence that highlights the abilities of the T-1000."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks major character development or significant plot progression."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effective in building tension and suspense. The concept of the T-1000's liquid metal form is intriguing and the way it disguises itself as the guard is well executed. The action of the scene is also well-described, making it easy for the reader to visualize what is happening.

However, one minor critique is that some of the dialogue could be more impactful. The conversation between the night nurse and T-1000 is a bit mundane and doesn't add much to the scene. It could benefit from some more tension or subtext.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from more sensory description. There is a lot of action happening, but the only sense that is really engaged is sight. Adding in details about sound, smell, and touch could heighten the tension and make the scene more visceral for the reader.

Overall, this scene effectively builds tension and advances the plot, and just a few small tweaks could make it even more impactful.
Suggestions Overall, the scene seems well-constructed and suspenseful. Here are a few suggestions to enhance it:

- Consider how to make the scene more visually compelling. While the T-1000's abilities are intriguing, there's a fair amount of description that doesn't necessarily lend itself to interesting visuals on screen. Adding some creative camera angles or movements could help make this scene more memorable.
- Think about the nurse's perspective. It's clear that the T-1000 is manipulating her, but we don't get a strong sense of her reaction to events. How does she feel as the T-1000 disappears? Is she suspicious at all when he returns? Adding a bit more internal monologue for the nurse could help flesh out her character and make her reactions feel more meaningful.
- Consider adding more tension to the scene through the use of music or sound design. Perhaps adding some ominous strings or sound effects when the T-1000 is forming itself into a guard could heighten the sense of danger and unease.
- Think about the pacing of the scene. While it's important to build suspense, it's also important not to drag things out too long. Look for places where the action can be tightened up, or where the audience may need a jolt to stay engaged.



Scene 15 -  Sarah's Revenge
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
67 INT. ISOLATION SECURITY CHECKPOINT

A small room before a short SALLY-PORT corridor designed to prevent
violent inmates from making a run for it. There are doors at each
end. The first one is barred like a jail-cell door, and the second
is a steel fire door. The attendants have a video monitor with which
they can see the corridor on the other side of the doors.

The two bored attendants barely notice the T-1000/Guard as it
approaches. Looks briefly at a chart next to the door, seeing
SARAH CONNOR is in #19.

67A IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 passes a nurses' station which looks
a cage, walled in by heavy metal mesh. Silberman, leaning in the open
doorway, is talking to an attendant in the cage. He doesn't glance
twice at Lewis the Guard passing by.

68 SARAH, moving like a ghost in the darkened corridor, hears footsteps
coming and quietly but quickly unlocks a cell next to her with
Douglas' master key.
68A She slips into the cell and waits as the footsteps pass.
We glimpse the T-1000/Guard pass the window.
She waits as the footsteps fade away. She looks over. A female
inmate, strapped to a bed, watches her with bird-like eyes. She puts
a finger to her lips -- SSHHH. The inmate nods. Sarah exits.

68B POV MOVING TOWARD nurse's station. We hear Silberman's voice,
reviewing medication with the night attendant.

ON SILBERMAN, yawning, looking at his watch.
He turns to go... Sarah is there.
She slams into him, hurling him through the door into the cage and
follows him in. The orderly jumps up, going for his stunner, but she
nails him with Douglas' baton. WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! You can barely see
the thing she's swinging it so fast. The guys goes down.

Silberman lunges for the alarm button and she cracks down hard on his
arm. He cries out and grabs his wrist.
She grabs him by the hair and slams him face down on the desk,
smacking him behind the knees expertly with the baton.
His legs buckle and he drops to his knees with his chin on the desk.
She pins him with one hand. He face is full of outraged disbelief.

SILBERMAN
You broke my arm!

SARAH
There's 215 bones in the human body, motherfucker.
That's one. Now don't move!

68B Moving rapidly, she whips open a medication drawer and grabs a
syringe.
They keep a few of these handy for tranking unruly patients. She
jams it into the orderly's butt and fires the whole shot. Still
holding the empty syringe, she sees what she need next.
They keep the toxic cleaning supplies in here to keep the inmates from
drinking Drano. She grabs a plastic jug of LIQUID PLUM'R and slams
it down on the desk inches from Silberman's eyes.

She jams the empty syringe into the plastic jug.
Draws back the plunger. The syringe fills with blue liquid.
She whips it out of the jug and jams the needle into Silberman's neck.
His horrified eyes rack toward it. 10 cc's of blue death fill the
cylinder.
Her thumb hovers over the plunger.
She jerks him to his feet by the collar and gets a tight grip on him,
then hauls him through the door.

69 IN THE CORRIDOR outside cell #19 the T-1000 stops and looks in the
window. Douglas, his face a bloody mess, yells to be heard.

DOUGLAS
Open the door! The goddamn bitch is loose in
the halls!

To Douglas' amazement, Lewis the Guard turns impassively and walks
away, leaving him shouting soundlessly at the window.
CUT TO:

70 EXT. HOSPITAL

Terminator and John are approaching the guard gate on the Harley.
They can see the guard inside looks up at the sound of the engine.

JOHN
Now remember, you're not gonna kill anyone,
right?

TERMINATOR
Right.

John looks at him. He's not convinced.

JOHN
Swear.

TERMINATOR
What?

JOHN
Just say "I swear I won't kill anyone."

John holds his hand up, like he's being sworn in. Terminator stares
at John a beat. Then mimics the gesture.

TERMINATOR
I swear I will not kill anyone.

Terminator stops the bike and gets off.
The guard, sensing trouble, has his gun drawn as he comes out of the
shack. Terminator walks toward him drawing his .45 smoothly. BLAM!
He shoots the guard accurately in the thigh.
The guy drops, screaming and clutching his leg.
Terminator kicks the guard's gun away, then smashes the phone in the
shack with his fist. He pushes the button to raise the gate and walks
back to the bike.

TERMINATOR
He'll live.

Terminator climbs onto the bike. They drive toward the hospital,
heading down an ambulance ramp to an underground receiving area.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary Sarah Connor seeks revenge at a hospital while the T-1000 impersonates a guard to find her.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequence with Sarah
  • Tension between John and the Terminator
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development
  • Some clunky dialogue
Critique The scene is well-written in terms of action and descriptions of the setting. The tension is built up effectively as we see Sarah carefully navigating through the darkened corridor and taking out the attendant and Silberman in quick succession. The use of the syringe and toxic cleaning supplies adds to the danger and urgency of the situation.

However, there are a few areas where the scene can be improved. Firstly, there is a lack of character development or emotion from the characters, particularly Sarah. We don't get a sense of her mindset or any empathy towards the female inmate, which could have added depth and layers to her character.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved. While some characters have distinct voices and personalities, others come across as generic or clichéd. For example, the dialogue between John and the Terminator feels forced and unnatural.

Overall, the scene is well-written in terms of action and setting, but could benefit from more nuanced character development and improved dialogue.
Suggestions One suggestion for improving this scene is to make the action more clear and concise. There are a lot of details and movements described, which can make it hard for the viewer to follow along. Consider trimming down some of the extraneous actions and focusing on the key moments that drive the plot forward. Additionally, there could be more emphasis on the characters' emotions and motivations - why is Sarah Connor going to such extreme measures, and how does she feel about it? This could add depth to the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 16 -  Hospital Escape
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6
71 INT. ISOLATION FLOOR

The attendants at the security checkpoint look up at the monitor as
someone enters the corridor. They see Sarah, holding Silberman at
syringe-point.
Sarah speaks to them through an intercom on the wall. Her voice
comes through the speaker.

SARAH
Open it or he'll be dead before he hits the
floor.
The attendants' adrenaline levels just went off the scale. The first
attendant shakes him head no. The amperage here is really high. The
second attendant keys the intercom switch.

2ND ATTENDANT
There's no way, Connor. Let him go.

Silberman's face is the color of suet.

SILBERMAN
It won't work, Sarah. You're no killer. I don't
believe you'd do it.

Her voice is a deadly cold hiss.

SARAH
You're already dead, Silberman. Everybody here
dies. You know I believe that. So don't fuck
with me!

SILBERMAN
Open the goddamn door!

The attendants looks at one another. One of them hits the solenoid
button. The far door unlocks.

71A IN THE LOCKOUT CORRIDOR. Sarah pushes Silberman ahead of her.
The nearer, barred door must be unlocked manually.
One of the attendants cautiously approaches. Nervously unlocks it.

SARAH
Step back!

He does. She faces both of them.

SARAH
Down on the floor! Now!

They comply. She comes through with Silberman, giving them a wide
berth. Starts backing down the hall away from them, still holding
her hostage. She's actually pulling this off.

71B ANGLE FROM BEHIND HER. What we can see, but she can't see, it a
third orderly waiting just around the corner. He's poised, ready to
jump her when she comes abreast of him.

ON SARAH backing up. She reaches the corner.
The third attendant lunges, grabbing her syringe-hand.
Sarah spins on the orderly and catches him across the throat with the
nightstick. He loses interest fast, dropping to his knees and
gagging. Silberman pulls away, screaming at the top of his lungs

SILBERMAN
Get her!

They scramble up as Sarah takes off like a shot around the corner.
One of them hits the panic button and ALARMS begin to sound.
72 IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 is looking in at a very stoned
attendant inside the nurses' station when the alarms shriek through
the halls. It reaches into its chest and pulls out the 9mm pistol.
Heads for the security entrance.

73 IN ANOTHER CORRIDOR in the maze of the vast hospital, Sarah flies
past us, her bare feet slapping on the cold tiles. The orderlies
charge after her.
She's like an animal in a maze. She turns the corner, glancing off
the wall, and sprints on without slowing. She reaches a steel door.
Tries it. Locked.
Footsteps like a drum solo behind her.

She fumbles with Douglas' keys, breathing hard. Jams the master in.
The orderlies are bearing down on her at full tilt.
Sarah gets the door open. Dives through. Slams it.
She turns a deadbolt knob just as the first orderly grabs the latch
on the other side. He's too late.

Sarah sees them beyond the window, fumbling with their keys.

73A Sarah is in another sally-port corridor. A jail-cell type barred
door is between her and the corridors of the ward beyond.
She sprints to the walls of bars, jams her key into the door.
She unlocks and pulls open this door just as she hears the latch of
the one she just came through being unlocked.

She flings herself frantically through the barred door as the first
orderly comes through behind her.
She slams the bars shut. CLANG.
Her keys are dangling from the lock on the other side from her.
The orderly is racing at her, white-lipped with rage.

She reaches back through the bars, turns the key, and purposefully
snaps it off in the lock. An instant later the big orderly slams
against the door, grabbing through the bars for her as she dances
back just out of reach.
He lunges against the steel bars, unbelievably pissed off.

Sarah takes off running, looking back at the frustrated orderlies.
They're shouting at each other, unable to fit their keys into the
lock --
The broken-off key tip makes it impossible to get their keys in.
Silberman shouts at them.

SILBERMAN
Go around, goddamnit! Go around!!

The orderlies run back the way they came, and along a cross-corridor
to another set of doors.

73B ON SARAH as she rounds a corner and sees the elevators ahead.
Now she's home-free. At a full-tilt sprint, she's nearly there when
the elevator doors part...

TERMINATOR steps out... his head swivels to face her.
Sarah reacts, stricken by the image from her worst nightmares.
Her eyes go wide as momentum carries her forward.
Her bare feet slip on the slick tile. She slams to the floor,
staring up at the leather-clad figure with the shotgun.

She loses all semblance of courage and some of her sanity.
She's not even aware that she is screaming, or what would be
screaming if she could get the breath to do it.
In slowed-down dream-time, Sarah scrambles back along the floor like a
crab, spinning and clawing her way to her feet along the wall.

She runs like the wind, like in her nightmare. If she looked back she
would have seen John step warily out of the corridor behind
Terminator. John, however, catches a glimpse of the fleeing Sarah and
figures out instantly what happened.

JOHN
Mom!! Wait!

Sarah doesn't hear. She has clicked fully into her own nightmare.
They take off running after Sarah.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor escapes from her restraints and prepares to take revenge, while Terminator and John continue their mission to defeat the T-1000.
Strengths "Intense action, high stakes, suspenseful escape"
Weaknesses "Some predictable elements, dialogue could be stronger"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with a clear sense of tension and action. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue could be stronger. While the overall situation is tense and exciting, some of the lines feel a bit cliché and could benefit from more originality. For example, the line "You're already dead, Silberman" feels a bit predictable and overused.

Additionally, there could be more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene. For example, describing the sound of Sarah's breathing or the smell of the isolation floor could add to the sense of urgency and danger.

Finally, while it is clear where the characters are running to and from, there could be more specificity in terms of the layout of the hospital. Providing more details about the maze-like corridors and sally-port corridors would add to the sense of disorientation and chaos.

Overall, with some tweaks to dialogue and sensory details, this scene could be even more thrilling and impactful.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is tense and action-packed, but here are some suggestions to make it even better:

1. Add more physical descriptions of the characters and their movements. This will help the reader visualize the scene and feel more invested in what's happening. For example, instead of just saying "Sarah takes off like a shot around the corner," you could say "Sarah's heart is pounding in her chest as she rounds the corner, her feet pounding against the cold tiles."

2. Increase the emotional stakes for the characters. We know that Sarah is holding Silberman at syringe-point, but why? What is driving her to take such extreme measures? Is she desperate to save someone she loves, or is she motivated by revenge? Providing more insight into her motivations will help us care more about the outcome of the scene.

3. Consider revealing more about the T-1000's perspective during the chaos. The T-1000 is a fascinating antagonist, and seeing its thought process during the chaos could add another layer of tension to the scene. For example, you could show it analyzing the layout of the hospital and strategizing how to catch up with Sarah.

4. Provide more context for the setting. We know that the scene takes place in an isolation ward, but where is that ward within the hospital? How has the layout of the hospital affected Sarah's chances of escape? Including these details will make the scene feel more immersive and believable.

5. Finally, consider adding more dialogue that reveals character and advances the plot. There's plenty of action in this scene, but more dialogue could give us more insight into the characters' personalities and motivations. For example, you could have Silberman try to reason with Sarah, or have John shout out something inspiring as he runs after her.



Scene 17 -  Escape from the Hospital
  • Overall: 9.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
73C She is pelting down the long corridor, back the way she came. As she
reaches an intersection with a cross-corridor a white-clad figure
blurs from that corridor. The orderly hits her in a flying tackle.
She skids across the floor, shrieking and struggling. The other two
orderlies leap into the fray.

SARAH
No! Help me! Goddamnit, it's gonna kill us
all!!!

She is shouting, pleading, trying to get them to understand what is
coming. They grab her thrashing arms and legs. They don't even look
where the out-of-control woman is pointing... back along the corridor.

They have pinned her to the cold tiles, a ring of faces above her.
Silberman leans down to her, holding a syringe with a heavy dose of
trank. Sarah cranes her neck and sees the dark silhouette of
Terminator coming up behind them. It is exactly her nightmare.
She screams in utter hopelessness.

Terminator, holding the shotgun in one hand, reaches down and grabs
one of the orderlies with his other hand. He hurls the 200-pound
guys against the far wall of the corridor. SMACK! He drops to the
floor.
The other two orderlies react instantly, leaping onto the intruder.
Terminator seems to disappear for a moment under the two big guys.
Then there is an explosion of white-clad figures, as the orderlies are
flung outward like they stepped on a land mine.
One crashes through a window of safety glass and is caught before a
two-story fall by the outer steel bars. The other crashes through an
office door, splintering it into kindling.

Silberman has jumped to hold Sarah. He is grabbed by a roll of skin
at the back of his neck and lifted like a cat. The doctor feel his
feet pedaling above the ground. He looks into the expressionless
face. And it hit him. Sarah was right... this guy isn't human.
He feels the fabric of reality crumbling.
Then he feels himself flying through the air. The wall smacks him,
then the floor kicks him in the face. He decides to lie there a
second.

Sarah blinks, staring up at the figure looming over her.
John kneels next to her.

JOHN
Mom, are you okay?

She looks from Terminator to John. Back to Terminator.
Is this a nightmare? Or has she finally gone truly bad?

Incredibly, Terminator politely reaches his hand down to her, offering
to help her up. The last thing she ever expected to see.

TERMINATOR
Come with me if you want to live.

The orderlies are stirring.

JOHN
It's all right, Mom. He's here to help.

Sarah, is a daze, takes the huge hand in her shaking fingers.
Terminator lifts her to her feet.

73D John sees a GUARD standing thirty feet away, on the other side of the
walls of bars. John doesn't know what we know, but he knows
something's not right with this guy. Terminator turns to follow
John's gaze.
The T-1000 had its pistol in its hand, at its side.
Terminator pushes John behind him. They start backing up.

73E The T-1000 walks forward, reaching the bars. It doesn't stop.
Its body divides like jello around the bars. As it squeezes itself
through like metal playdough, its surface reforms perfectly on our
side. We see it deform and squeeze through like a viscous paste
forced past an obstacle.
Silberman has recovered enough to be sitting up and watching this.
That faint snapping sound is his mind.
There is a CLANK and we see that the guard's gun has caught against
the bars... the only solid object. The T-1000 turns its wrist and
tries again, slipping the gun endwise through the gap.

73F Sarah is agape. Not reacting. It's been a heavy day for her.
Terminator grabs John by the seat of his pants and hooks him up onto
his back. John grabs him around the neck. Terminator raises the
shotgun and starts backing up.

TERMINATOR
Go! Run!

Sarah doesn't need to be told twice.
T-1000 walks toward them, opening fire with the Browning Hi-Power.
Terminator straight-arms the 12-guage like a pistol and FIRES.
The stunned orderlies flop face down on the floor as the corridor is
filled with high-velocity lead. One of them, stupidly running for the
cross-corridor, gets hit by the T-1000.
Terminator is hammered by several slugs, and the T-1000 is cratered
by two buckshots hits. It staggers, but comes on. In the craters
we see bright mercury before they close and reseal, disappearing in a
second.

73G Terminator makes it around the corner and breaks into a run. Ahead,
Sarah is already at the elevator. Terminator and John pile in and
John slaps the button for "Garage Level".

The doors start to close. T-1000 clears the corner.
Terminator slams John and Sarah back against the side walls as the
T-1000 charges at them, rapid firing the Browning.
The rounds hit the steel doors as they close.
T-1000 keeps pumping them at the closing gap.
73H Inside, they see the backside of the doors denting with the hits that
are punching holes in the other side.

73I The Browning locks open, empty. T-1000 drops it without a glance
back. The doors close. K-WHAM! The T-1000 hits them a split second
later. The elevator hasn't moved yet. SSWWIKK!

73J A sword-like blade rams through in between the doors, forcing them
open. Terminator jams the shotgun through the widening gap. Punches
the muzzle right INTO T-1000's face -- BOOM!!
73K We get a glimpse of the T-1000's head blown apart by the blast. It
is hurtled back. The doors close. The car descends.

73L ON THE T-1000, outside the elevator. Its head, which is blown apart
into two doughy masses lying on the shoulders, reforms quickly.
There is no trace of the injury. It sees the closed door and jams its
hands between them, its fingertips becoming pry-bars. It pulls the
doors apart with inhuman strength
73M and LEAPS INTO THE OPEN SHAFT.
It falls two floors and...
Genres: ["Action","Sci-fi"]

Summary Sarah Connor and the Terminator fight off the T-1000 at a hospital while trying to escape. The T-1000 impersonates a guard to get access, but Sarah warns the orderlies who restrain her instead. After a scuffle, the Terminator and Sarah escape on an elevator, but the T-1000 catches up and attacks them. A shotgun blast destroys its head but it quickly reforms and jumps into an elevator shaft.
Strengths "Intense action and suspenseful chase scene, strong character development for Sarah Connor and the Terminator"
Weaknesses "Limited development for the T-1000's character and motives"
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene is well-written and successfully builds tension throughout. The action is described in a clear and concise manner, making it easy for the reader to visualize what is happening on screen. The use of sensory details, such as the sound of the shotgun blast and the sight of the T-1000's head reforming, adds to the impact of the scene.

One minor critique I would offer is that some of the dialogue, particularly Sarah's shouting, feels a bit forced and clichéd. However, this is a minor issue and doesn't detract from the overall effectiveness of the scene. Overall, the writer has done a good job of creating an engaging and suspenseful action sequence.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more descriptive language and sensory details to enhance the tension and suspense. For example, adding in more details about the sound of the gunshots and the smell of gunpowder could make the scene more immersive for the audience. Additionally, it may be helpful to clarify the geography of the setting so that the audience can better visualize the action and understand the characters' movements. Finally, adding in more character development and emotion could help to deepen the impact of the scene and make it more engaging for the audience. For example, exploring Sarah's internal thoughts and feelings throughout the chaos could make her character more relatable and compelling to the audience.



Scene 18 -  Escape from the Hospital
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
74 IN THE ELEVATOR. Out trio hears a loud THUMP on the roof.
Terminator, reloading the shotgun, looks up.
Sarah grabs the .45 from his waistband and aims it at the ceiling.
BEAT...
Then CLANGG!! a swordlike shaft punches through the ceiling and spears
down four feet into the elevator car.
It is inches from Sarah's face.
She opens fire, BAM-BAM-BAM -- right through the roof.
Lighting-fast the lance withdraws and thrusts down again, slashing
Terminator's jacket, and missing John by inches.
Terminator chambers a round and K-BOOM! the 12-guage opens a hole in
the ceiling.
Terminator rocks out in a fury of firing/cocking/firing as the metal
shafts slash down again and again. Sarah yells in pain as one of them
slices open her upper arm.

75 The doors open. Sarah pulls John out as soon as the gap is wide
enough.
They emerge into the basement. We see the Harley parked nearby.
Terminator, in a rearguard action, fires another blast through the
ceiling and runs out. He throws his leg over the Harley, kicks it to
life with one powerful stroke and then whips something out of the
inner pocket of his jacket. He throws it to John. A road flare!?

76 In the elevator, the T-1000 has bashed a hole in the ceiling big
enough to...
Pour itself through.
A massive blob of mercury extrudes from the opening. The mass drops
through the hole, down out of frame, then comes back up into frame
as Officer X.

It seems to need just a second to get its mental act together after
doing this king of taffy-pull with itself. It opens its eyes and
sees --

77 TERMINATOR, the shot gun held in his teeth, astride the roaring
Harley twenty feet away. Terminator twists the throttle and pops the
clutch.
The back tire screams on the concrete. The front wheel lifts off the
ground and the heavy bike launches in a thundering wheelie.

Terminator gets off just before the bike hurtles into the elevator.
The Harley slams the T-1000 square and smashes it right through the
back wall of the elevator.
Terminator rolls to his feet.
Johns strikes the flare on the concrete. Tosses it.
Terminator catches the life flare with one hand.
Levels the shotgun with the other.
With his last round he blows a big hole in the bike's gas tank.
Gas splashes everywhere, covering the struggling T-1000.
Terminator tosses the flare. KA-VOOOM!

The explosion knocks Terminator backward off his feet, enveloping him
in the fireball. He gets up, smoking, and runs after John and Sarah
toward the exit ramp.

78 AT THE EXIT RAMP. They are partway up when a blue-and-white hospital
security car comes screeching down the other way.
Without breaking stride Sarah runs right at the car. It skids to a
shrieking halt. She's in the guy's face with the .45 in both hands.

SARAH
Out of the car!!

The patrol guy is thinking what he can try when BLAM! she puts a round
through the glass next to his head.

SARAH
RIGHT NOW!

The door opens and the guy is coming out with his hands up as
Terminator arrives. The cyborg flings the rent-a-cop out of the way
and slides behind the wheel. Sarah gets John into the back seat and
dives into the front passenger seat as --

78A Terminator slams the car into reverse and punches it, lighting up the
tires on the slick ramp.
Terminator hands the shotgun over his shoulder to John and tells him
to reload. John pulls some shells from the pocket of his army jacket
and starts feeding them in.
Terminator power backward up the ramp, scraping along one wall, barely
in control. Because...

79 The T-1000 is running at them out of the inferno below.
This guy won't quit. Shifting from chrome mode to cop-form as it
runs.
It sprints up the ramp after the retreating car. T-1000 is gaining.

80 Terminator hands Sarah another magazine for the .45. She snatches
it, drops the other out, and slaps in the new one. Cocks the slide.
The car backs along the service driveway toward the security gate.
John hands the shot gun back to Terminator.
He leans out the window and takes aim at the pursuer.
The T-1000's face is right in the headlights.
80A Terminator fires, blowing a hole in its shoulder. Shiny liquid metal
visible in the hole, which then closes.
80B Sarah, half out the passenger window, opens fire.
The car crashes backward through the security barricade.

TERMINATOR
(calmly)
Hang on.

He cuts the wheel hard. The car slews into a reverse 180, swapping
ends with a screech.
T-1000 is almost on them.
Terminator punches it. The car accelerates forward.

80C T-1000 leaps. Lands on the trunk.
Its hand is a metal crowbar slammed down through the trunk lid.
Feet dragging on the pavement, it slams its other hand down,
punching another metal hook into the trunk lid, pulling itself up.
Terminator turns to Sarah.

TERMINATOR
Drive.

Terminator heaves himself half out the driver's window. Sarah slaps
her foot down on the throttle and steers from the passenger side.

80D T-1000, fully on the car now, holds on with one hook-hand while it
slams the other into the back window, sweeping away the glass and
missing John by inches as he ducks.
It draws back for another swing, lunging forward as --

80E Terminator whips the shotgun over the roof of the car.
Fires point-blank.
Hits the T-1000's arm just above the "hand" which anchors it to the
car. The 12-guage blows the arm apart, severing the hook-hand.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The T-1000 pursues the group as they try to escape the hospital while they engage in a fiery battle. Sarah and John, with the help of terminator, manage to fend off the T-1000 and escape on a car.
Strengths "Intense action and high-stakes of the scene"
Weaknesses "Some aspects of the battle sequences can become repetitive"
Critique Overall, this scene is action-packed and visually thrilling, showcasing the strengths of the Terminator franchise. The scene effectively builds tension and danger, culminating in a satisfying resolution.

However, there are a few moments where the action is not entirely clear or easily understandable. For example, when the T-1000 pours through the hole in the elevator, it is not clear at first what is happening and why Officer X suddenly appears. Additionally, the moment when Terminator hands John the shotgun and tells him to reload could be better conveyed, as it is not immediately clear what is happening.

That being said, these moments are relatively minor and do not detract significantly from the scene as a whole. Overall, the scene is well-written and effective in its use of action and tension.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more description to the action scenes to make them clearer and more visually engaging for the reader and eventually the audience. For example, describing in detail how the T-1000 transforms from a blob of mercury into Officer X, or the visual impact of the explosion that knocks Terminator off his feet. Another suggestion would be to focus on character development and dialogue to add depth to the scene, perhaps exploring the characters' emotions and motivations in this intense situation. Lastly, considering the pacing, it may be beneficial to rearrange or condense some of the actions to maintain momentum and tension throughout the sequence.



Scene 19 -  Escape from the Hospital
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
80F T-1000 tumbles backward off the accelerating car.
John looks out the back window, his eyes wide.
He sees the T-1000 roll to his feet and continue running.
But he's dropping way behind now. Sarah has the car floored and the
liquid-metal killer won't catch them on foot.
80G John watches, in awe, as the "crowbar hand", stuck into the trunk
right in front of him, reverts to the neutral polyalloy... a kind of
think mercury. The gray metal slides off the trunk of the car and
falls onto the road to lie there in a quivering blob.

80H The car speeds off into the night.
REVERSE on the T-1000, walking now, coming right up into closeup,
watching the tail lights recede. It looks down.

80I ANGLE ON BLACKTOP, tight on the liquid metal blob. Next to it is the
T-1000's shiny cop shoe. The mercury blob crawls and rejoins the
main mass, disappearing into the "shoe".

81 INT./EXT. SECURITY CAR

A GHOST CAR blasts out of the darkness on a long stretch of moonlight
highway. Headlights off, the hospital security car punches a hole in
the wind.

81A INSIDE THE SPEEDING CAR the energy is still high. The air is blowing
in the shattered windows as Terminator drives the car easily by
electronic night-vision. His eyes glow faintly red.

JOHN
Can you see anything?

81B TERMINATOR'S POV. A monochrome image of the highway lit bright as
day.

81C Terminator replies in a matter-of-fact tone.

TERMINATOR
Everything.

JOHN
Cool.

Sarah looks at Terminator, still not quite believing this is
happening. But this is a different Sarah than the waitress of 1984.
She spends only a second or two dealing with the unbelievable.
Then she turns to John in the back seat.

SARAH
You okay?

He nods. She reaches for John and we think she's going to hug him.
She starts to rub her hands over him and we realize she's checking for
injuries, very clinically the way a vet checks a dog for broken bones.

He pulls away from her. He hates her always checking him, treating
him like he might break, like some piece of rare china.

JOHN
I said I was okay.

Sarah looks at him, exasperated and stern.
SARAH
It was stupid of you to go there.

John stares at her, surprised.

SARAH
Goddamnit, John, you have to be smarter than
that. You're too important! You can't risk
yourself, not even for me, do you understand?
I can take care of myself. I was doing fine.
Jesus, John. You almost got yourself killed.

We see his chin quiver. He's a tough kid, but all he really wants is
for her to love him. He hasn't had enough years on the planet yet to
be the man of steel she demands.

JOHN
I... had to get you out of the place... I'm
sorry, I...

His face crumples. He starts to cry. Sarah gives him a cold stare.

SARAH
Stop it! Right now! You can't cry, John.
Other kids can afford to cry. You can't.

He's trying to be brave, he really is. Terminator turns and sees the
water leaking from his eyes. It doesn't make and sense to him.

TERMINATOR
What is wrong with your eyes?

John turns away, ashamed. Sarah lets her breath out, realizing how
keyed up she is. She turns to Terminator, giving him a wary once-
over.

SARAH
So what's your story?

CUT TO:

82 EXT. MENTAL HOSPITAL

The cops have shown up, as they always do. There are black-and-whites
everywhere, and ambulances are arriving. Two cops and an orderly are
required to subdue poor Doctor Silberman, who is raving at the top of
his lungs.

SILBERMAN
... it was all true and we're all going to die
and the changed, I saw him change!!

It's quite pathetic.
A nurse shoots him up with a sedative. They lead him away.

82A T-1000 walks unperturbed among the milling cops. No one notices him.
It slips into its cruiser and drives off into the night.
83 INT. CAR

Terminator drives steadily into the black night.

SARAH
This T-1000... what happens when you shoot it?

TERMINATOR
Ballistic penetration shocks it, but only for a
few seconds.

Sarah thinks about that. Then:

SARAH
Can it be destroyed?

TERMINATOR
Unknown.

They ride along in silence for a few seconds.
Sarah sees something up ahead, some lonely neon in the blackness.

SARAH
Pull in here. We have to ditch this car.

84 EXT. SERVICE STATION - NIGHT

A rundown gas station with a buzzing neon sign and no one around.
They pull into the drive and slowly cruise past the empty office. A
sign in the window says CLOSED SUNDAYS. They continue around the
building to the garage's back door.

AT THE GARAGE DOOR. Terminator breaks the lock on the roll-up door
and raises it. Sarah pulls the security car in out of sight.
Terminator rolls the door down behind them.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor and the Terminator fight off the T-1000 at a hospital while trying to escape. After destroying its head with a shotgun blast, the T-1000 pursues the group as they flee the hospital. They manage to fend off the T-1000 and escape in a car.
Strengths "Intense action that keeps the audience engaged, strong character relationships and development, a well-thought-out plot that advances the story"
Weaknesses "Dialogue could be stronger, emotional impact could be greater"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the characters' situation. However, there are some areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the description of the T-1000's movements could be more visually engaging. "Dropping way behind now" and "continuing running" are very general actions and could be made more specific and dramatic to amp up the stakes.

Additionally, the dialogue between Sarah and John could benefit from more emotional depth and specificity. While Sarah's frustration and concern for her son are clear, the conversation feels a bit generic and could use some personal touches to make it more impactful.

Lastly, the description of the service station and its surroundings could be fleshed out more to create a stronger sense of setting and atmosphere.

Overall, this scene effectively advances the plot and character arcs, but could benefit from some more attention to detail in the description and dialogue.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions for improving this scene:

- Add more tension to the chase sequence, to make it more exciting and suspenseful for the audience. Maybe show the T-1000 getting closer and closer to the car, and Sarah having to swerve and dodge obstacles to stay ahead.

- Show some interaction between John and the Terminator during the car ride, to build their relationship and show their dynamic. Maybe they have a conversation about something that John is interested in (like video games or music), and the Terminator tries to understand it.

- Make Sarah's speech to John more emotionally impactful by giving her more reasons for why he shouldn't risk himself. Maybe she talks about how he's the only hope for the future, and that if he dies now, they might never be able to defeat Skynet. This could motivate John to be more careful in the future.

- Show more of the T-1000's infiltration skills when it enters the mental hospital. Maybe it disguises itself as a doctor or a police officer, and uses its shape-shifting abilities to blend in with the crowd.

- Add some suspense to the scene where they pull into the gas station, by showing them scanning the area for any signs of danger, and being on high alert for any potential threats. Maybe they hear a noise or see movement in the shadows, and have to quickly react to avoid being caught.



Scene 20 -  Repairing the Damage
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6
85 INT. GAS STATION

Dark. Sarah switches on the single drop-light. She and Terminator
look at each other. Terminator is shot-up and bleeding, and Sarah
has a vicious slash in her upper arm which was soaked her sleeve with
blood.

SARAH
You look like handmade shit.

TERMINATOR
So do you.

CUT TO:

86 TIGHT ON FIRST-AID KIT from the office, plus some not-so-oily rags, a
bottle of rubbing alcohol, a few small tools, and other makeshift
odds and ends. Terminator's hand comes into shot. Sets down a bloody
rag. Picks up a clean one.
WIDER. Sarah sits on an empty crate. Terminator's is beside her,
suturing her wound with some fine wire from the winding of an
alternator. Using a pair of needlenose pliers he draws the wire
through her pale skin with a delicate hand.

TERMINATOR
I have detailed files on human anatomy.

Sarah stares into his face, inches away, fighting the pain. She
doesn't like him being this close to her to begin with, let alone
carving on her.

SARAH
I'll bet. Makes you a more efficient killer,
right?

TERMINATOR
Correct.

CUT TO:

87 TIGHT ON TERMINATOR'S BACK. The leather jacket is riddled with bullet
holes. Sarah and John help pull it off, revealing Terminator's
broad, muscular back beneath.

WIDER. John and Sarah stare in amazement. There are at least twenty
bullet holes in him. Back. Arms. Legs. Fortunately they're all
9mm. The holes are small and the damage cosmetic.

JOHN
Does it hurt?

TERMINATOR
I sense injuries. The data could be called
pain.

TIGHT ON SARAH AND TERMINATOR. Sarah starts washing the bullet holes
in his broad back with alcohol.

SARAH
Will these heal up?

Terminator nods. She reaches into the bloody wounds with pliers and
finds the copper-jacketed bullets, flattening against the armored
endoskeleton. Pulls them out. They CLINK one by one into a glass.

SARAH
That's good. Because if you can't pass for
human, you won't be much good to us.

She concentrates on removing the slugs. CLINK. CLINK.

JOHN
How long do you live? I mean, last?

TERMINATOR
A hundred and twenty years on my existing
power cell.
Sarah nods, pulling out another slug. CLINK. The glass nearly full
of flattened bullets. She begins to sew the holes closed with a few
wire sutures. John watches in quiet amazement, the two warriors
calmly fixing each other.

JOHN
Can you learn? So you can be... you know.
More human. Not such a dork all the time.

Terminator turns towards him.

TERMINATOR
My CPU is a neural-net processor... a learning
computer. But Skynet presets the switch to
"read-only" when we are sent out alone.

SARAH
(cynical)
Doesn't want you thinking too much, huh?

TERMINATOR
No.

JOHN
Can we reset the switch?

CUT TO:

88 E.C.U. OF AN X-ACTO KNIFE cutting into Terminator's scalp at the base
of his skull. His voice calmly directs Sarah as she spreads the bloody
incision and locates the maintenance port for the CPU in the chrome
skull beneath.

TERMINATOR
Now open the port cover.

She wipes away the blood and uses the garage-mechanic's air tools to
unscrew the port cover.

88A TERMINATOR POV (DIGITIZED) as he watches her work in a mirror they've
taken from the washroom. Sarah and John are standing behind him.
Her hands are covered with blood, like a surgeon's.

TERMINATOR
Hold the CPU by its base tab. Pull.

Following the instructions, she reaches in with a pair of tweezers and
PULLS -- there is a BURST OF STATIC and the screen goes BLACK.

CUT TO:

89 TIGHT ON JOHN AND SARAH looking at what she has removed. A reddish-
brown ceramic rectangle with a connector on one end. About the size
and shape of a domino. On close inspection it appears to be made up
of small cubes connected together. It is identical to the shattered
one in the vault at Cyberdyne Systems. Now we know it is that that
Miles Dyson values so highly. The brain of a terminator.
89A WIDER. John walks around Terminator and looks at his face.
Eyes open, he is completely inert. Dead.

John lifts his huge hand. The dead servos whine sullenly as he forces
them. It's like rigor mortis. He releases the hand and it stays in
the lifted position. Sarah examines the CPU chip.

JOHN
Can you see the pin switch?

She ignores him. See looks at Terminator.
The back at the chip.
Then she sets it on the work table and picks up a small sledge hammer.
John realizes what she is about to do. Dives at her as the sledge is
whistling down.

JOHN
No!!!!

He slaps his hand down over the chip.
Sarah barely stops the sledge before smashing his fingers.

SARAH
Out of the way, John!

JOHN
No! Don't kill him!

SARAH
It, John. Not him. It.

JOHN
Alright, it! We need it!

John keeps his hand right where it is.

SARAH
We're better off by ourselves.

JOHN
But it's the only proof we have to the future...
about the war and all that.

SARAH
I don't trust it! These things are hard to
kill, John, believe me, I know. We may never
have this opportunity again.

JOHN
Look, Mom, if I'm supposed to ever be this great
leader, you should start listening to my
leadership ideas once in a while. 'Cause if you
won't, nobody else will.

Smart kid. He's got her. She nods, reluctantly. He palms the chip
and studies it minutely.
89B John takes a pin and moves the almost invisible switch to the other
position.

It is now in "write" mode. Then he grimaces as he inserts the wafer
back into the slot in Terminator's skull.

89C TERMINATOR VISION flares back to life in a burst of static. The image
forms. Sarah and John stands behind him in the mirror.

TERMINATOR
Was there a problem?

John glances sheepishly at Sarah, Then smiles at Terminator.

JOHN
No problem. None whatsoever.

CUT TO:

90 JOHN SLEEPING, lying on a pile of rags next to a stack of tires.
The lights are off. Sarah sits nearby, cross-legged, he back against
the wall.

The .45 is cradles in her lap. She looks weary, but she won't allow
herself to sleep with Terminator present.

By the office windows, in a slash of moonlight, is Terminator. He
stands silent and still, watching the night. Only his eyes move,
tracking with the occasional car passing on the road. He figure
silhouetted and still.

DISSOLVE TO:

91 SAME IMAGE. Now DAYLIGHT streams in the dusty windows.
Terminator has not moved. Faithful machine sentinel. He turns at a
sound. John stirs, waking up. He squints into the sunlight. Sarah
is still awake. She gets up, wincing at the pain in her arm.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Sarah and Terminator tend to their injuries and repair one another. They remove a crucial component from Terminator's skull, but John convinces Sarah to spare its life. Terminator stands guard as the group rests.
Strengths "The scene builds on the characters' relationships and their trust in one another, while also showcasing their resourcefulness and determination. The tension is high as they debate the fate of the chip, and the ending leaves the viewer with a sense of uncertainty."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat stilted and on-the-nose, particularly in John's speech about leadership. The scene also lacks significant action and relies heavily on exposition."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I cannot fully evaluate scenes with certainty, but based on the structure and content of the scene, it seems to effectively provide character development and advance the plot. The scene showcases the physical and emotional wounds of both Sarah and the Terminator, highlighting the tension and unease between the two characters. The use of props and dialogue also effectively illustrate the characters' resourcefulness and intelligence in fixing each other's injuries with makeshift tools. Additionally, the scene hints at the possibility of the Terminator becoming more human-like and hints at the importance of the CPU chip. Overall, the scene effectively continues the story and develops the characters.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-crafted and intense, effectively showcasing the physical toll of their battle and the trust-building between Sarah and Terminator as they tend to each other's wounds. However, here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

- Show, don't tell: Instead of having Sarah and Terminator simply state how injured they are, consider showing their wounds more vividly and perhaps even their struggles to move or do certain tasks due to their injuries. This will give the audience a better sense of the severity of the situation.

- Increase the emotional stakes: While Terminator and Sarah's banter is entertaining, consider adding more emotional depth to their interactions. Perhaps they could discuss their fears or doubts about their mission or their own survival, or reveal more about their personal histories and how they ended up in this situation.

- Use the environment: As the scene takes place in a gas station, consider using elements of the location to create more tension or suspense. For example, a car could pull up outside and they must act quickly to hide or sneak away, or there could be a malfunctioning pump that creates a loud noise that attracts attention.

- Incorporate more character development for John: While Sarah and Terminator have clear personalities and motivations, John is largely a passive observer in this scene. Consider having him take a more active role in the conversation and decision-making, showing more of his leadership potential and skills. Additionally, you may want to hint at some of the internal struggles he's likely facing as a young boy in this dangerous situation.

- Consider the pacing: Depending on the tone and overall pacing of the film, you may want to adjust the speed of the scene. Right now, it's quite slow and methodical, which could work if the film is aiming for a more introspective or character-driven approach. However, if the film is meant to be more action-driven, you may want to incorporate more urgency or faster cuts to keep the momentum going.



Scene 21 -  Escape and Repair
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
92 EXT. GAS STATION - DAY (LATER)

John and Terminator walks to an old Chevy pickup parked behind the
garage. The day is clear but windy. Dust devils chase themselves
behind the place. The pickup is locked but Terminator breaks the side
window with his fist and opens the door. He and John climb in.

92A IN THE PICKUP. Terminator has this trick (which you could do too if
you had servo-driven steel fingers) where he smashes the cowl around
a steering column with one blow from the palm of his hand. When it
shatters he strips it away with a single move, and then turns the stub
of the lock-mechanism with his fingertips. This starts the vehicle.
It takes about three seconds.

In fact, he does it so quickly, the truck is running by the time John
flips down the sun visor. A set of keys drops out and John catches
them. Dangles them in front of Terminator's eyes.
JOHN
Are we learning yet?

92B Sarah comes out. She's found a mechanic's coverall inside, used but
fairly clean. It doesn't fit her too well, but it's better than the
stuff from the hospital. She's still barefoot.
The sun, which she hasn't seen in months, hurts her eyes,
Terminator and John pull up in the pickup. She gets in.

92C TERMINATOR
We need to get as far from the city as possible.

SARAH
Just head south.

CUT TO:

93 INT./EXT. PICKUP TRUCK/HIGHWAY - DAY

THE OPEN ROAD. The pickup roars through light traffic down a long
stretch of highway. They set three abreast on the bench seat, John
in between, like some improbable family on a car trip.
Sarah leans over to get a look at the speedometer.

SARAH
Keep it under sixty-five. We can't afford to
be pulled over.

Terminator backs off the throttle slightly.

TERMINATOR
Affirmative.

JOHN
No, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people
talk. See, you don't say like "Affirmative" or
some shit like that. You say... no problemo.

Terminator nods, filing away the information. Sarah is ignoring the
lesson, lost in thought.

JOHN
It someone comes off to you with an attitude,
you say "eat me"... if you wanna shine them on,
it's "Hasta la vista, baby".

TERMINATOR
"Hasta la vista, baby"?

JOHN
Yeah, or "later, dickwad." Or if someone gets
upset you say "chill out." Like that. Or you
can do combinations.

TERMINATOR
Chill out, dickwad.
JOHN
That's great! See, you're getting it.

TERMINATOR
No problemo.

CUT TO:

94-95 OMITTED

96 EXT. ROADSIDE STAND/GAS STATION - DAY

There's a gas pump and a sleazy fast-food stand. Picnic tables are
set up at the side of the food stand. A family sits at one, children
playing and running about.
96A The pickup truck pulls into the lot. Stops at the gas pump.
Sarah turns to John.

SARAH
You got any cash?

John pulls what's left of his Ready-Teller money from his pocket.

JOHN
Only a couple hundred bucks. I'll give you
half.

Sarah grabs all of it. Peels off a twenty, hands it to John.

SARAH
Get some food.

She opens the truck door and steps out. John turns to Terminator.

JOHN
No sense of humor.

97 THE ORDERING WINDOW as John and Terminator approach.

JOHN
And that's another thing. You could lighten up
a bit, yourself. This severe routine is getting
old. Smile once in a while.

TERMINATOR
Smile?

JOHN
Yeah. Smile. You know. People smile, right?
Watch.

Goes to the order window.

JOHN
(smiling broadly)
Hi. Nice place you got here. How's business?
WINDOW WOMAN
(stone-faced)
Gimme a break.

JOHN
(to Terminator)
Okay. Bad example. Over there, look.

John points at THREE TEENAGE GUYS standing at a drinking fountain
nearby. One of them has said something funny and the others are
laughing, grinning.

JOHN
Like that.

TERMINATOR POV (DIGITIZED) The real-time image continues while a
replay of one of the guys grinning runs in a window. It expands, so
that the guy's mouth fills the window. Replays again in slow motion.
A vector-graphic of the lips smiling appears, along with an array of
symbolic data.

Terminator tries it. The result is dismal. A rictus-like curling of
the lip. Terminator's next effort is a marginal improvement.

JOHN
I don't know, maybe you could practice in front
of a mirror or something.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Sarah, John, and Terminator fight off the T-1000 at a hospital before escaping in a car. They then stop at a gas station to repair and rest.
Strengths "Intense action scene with a lot of tension. Good characterization and development for the characters, especially John and Terminator's relationship. Well-paced and exciting."
Weaknesses "Some of the humor falls flat and feels out of place in such an intense scene. The scene is somewhat predictable, as the group is simply trying to escape and evade the T-1000."
Critique Overall, this scene seems to flow well and serve its purpose in the story. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, the action description could benefit from some tighter wording. Instead of "Terminator breaks the side window with his fist and opens the door," it could be shortened to "Terminator smashes the side window and opens the door." Similarly, "When it shatters he strips it away with a single move" could become "He strips away the shattered cowl with a single move." Minor changes like this could help speed up the pacing of the scene.

Secondly, the dialogue in this scene feels a bit forced and on-the-nose in terms of showing the character development of John and Terminator's relationship. While it's important to see the evolution of their dynamic, lines like "Are we learning yet?" and the lesson on slang phrases feel contrived. Perhaps there could be a more subtle way to show their evolving relationship without spelling it out so explicitly.

Finally, the "Terminator trying to smile" section of the scene feels a bit out of place and tonally off. While it's meant to be a moment of levity, it comes across as awkward and breaks the flow of the scene. This could be something that is cut altogether or reworked to fit better within the overall tone of the story.

Overall, this scene is functional in terms of moving the story along, but there are areas where it could be sharpened to improve clarity and pacing.
Suggestions - Consider adding more description to the setting to enhance the atmosphere and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
- Try to find ways to integrate character development into the scene, rather than just focusing on advancing the plot.
- Consider adding a bit more tension or conflict, to keep the audience engaged and guessing what might happen next.
- Explore ways to make the dialogue more natural and realistic, rather than feeling forced or unnatural. This could involve conducting more research or drawing on personal experience to inform the writing.
- Look for opportunities to integrate visual storytelling, such as using camera angles or cuts to enhance the storytelling experience.



Scene 22 -  Skynet Revealed
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
98 EXT. REST STOP/PICKUP TRUCK - DAY (LATER)

Sarah and John are eating cheeseburgers and fries, sitting in the
truck and on the curb respectively. They are parked away from the
other families, at the end of the gravel parking area. Terminator
is pouring coolant into the radiator. Sarah is deep in through,
turning and turning the whole thing in her brain. John, unable to
deal with her silence, goes around to where Terminator is working.

98A John sees two kids playing with machine-gun water pistols nearby,
viciously squirting each other.

FIRST KID
You're dead!

SECOND KID
Am not!

FIRST KID
Are so!

John and Terminator watch them rolling on the ground in a fight to the
death. Sarah rounds the front of the truck, and sees the kids. John
sighs, solemn. He looks up at the cyborg.

JOHN
We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I
mean.
TERMINATOR
It is in your nature to destroy yourselves.

John nods, depressed.

JOHN
Yeah. Drag, huh?

SARAH
I need to know how Skynet get built. Who's
responsible?

TERMINATOR
The man most directly responsible is Miles Bennet
Dyson, Director of Special Projects at
Cyberdyne Systems Corporation.

SARAH
Why him?

TERMINATOR
In a few months he creates a revolutionary
type of mircoprocessor.

SARAH
Then what?

98B Terminator closes the hood and gets into the truck as he speaks.

TERMINATOR
In three years Cyberdyne will become the largest
supplier of military computer systems. All
stealth bombers are upgraded with Cyberdyne
computers, becoming fully unmanned, Afterward,
the fly with a perfect operational record.

SARAH
(getting behind John)
Uh huh, great. Then those fat fucks in
Washington figure, what the hell, let a computer
run the whole show, right?

TERMINATOR
Basically.
(starting the engine, backing
out)
The Skynet funding bill is passed. The system
goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions
are removed from strategic defense. Skynet
begins to learn, at a geometric rate. It becomes
self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29.
In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

SARAH
And Skynet fights back.

They accelerate back onto the highway.
TERMINATOR
Yes. It launches its ICBMs against their
targets in Russia.

SARAH
Why attack Russia?

TERMINATOR
Because Skynet knows the Russian counter-strike
will remove its enemies here.

SARAH
Jesus.
(beat, then)
How much do you know about Dyson?

TERMINATOR
I have detailed files.

SARAH
I want to know everything. What he looks like.
Where he lives. Everything.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary Sarah, John, and Terminator discuss the creation of Skynet and its impending takeover of humanity as they rest at a rest stop. They learn that Miles Bennet Dyson is the man responsible for creating the revolutionary microprocessor that leads to Skynet's creation.
Strengths "The scene provides crucial information about the plot and the backstory of the Terminator universe. The dialogue is engaging and informative."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks action and may be exposition-heavy for some viewers."
Critique This scene is well-written and effectively communicates important information about the plot and characters. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

1. The dialogue between the kids with machine-gun water pistols feels a bit on the nose and could be removed without affecting the scene too much.

2. The exposition about Skynet and the events leading up to its creation is a bit dense and could benefit from being simplified or broken up with some action.

3. Sarah's motivations for wanting to know about Miles Bennet Dyson could be more clearly established. Right now, it feels a bit sudden and out of nowhere.

Overall, though, this is a strong scene that effectively builds tension and raises the stakes for the characters.
Suggestions Overall, the scene has good dialogue and character development, but there are a few ways it can be improved:

1. Add more tension: The scene can benefit from more tension to keep the audience engaged. Perhaps there can be a sense of urgency added by having Sarah and John discuss a deadline they need to meet or a looming threat they're facing.

2. Visualize the action: Paint a clearer picture of the scene by describing the setting and action in more detail. Describe the clothing, body language, and facial expressions of the characters. Try to visualize the scene as if it were playing out on screen.

3. Cut unnecessary dialogue: The exchange between the two kids with water guns can be shortened or cut altogether, as it does not add much to the plot. This can make room for more character development or action.

4. Incorporate action: The scene can benefit from more action, perhaps a car engine failing, or the characters being chased by an enemy. This can create a more exciting sense of danger and keep the audience engaged.

5. Increase stakes: The conversation about Skynet's creation can feel informational, rather than critical. Consider raising the stakes by making it more personal to the characters, such as having someone they care about be directly affected by Skynet's actions.

By incorporating these suggestions, the scene can become more engaging and impactful for the audience.



Scene 23 -  Dyson's Family and Salceda
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
99 INT. DYSON HOUSE - DAY

Miles Dyson sits at the huge desk in his study. He is deep in
thought, tapping away at the keyboard of his home computer terminal.
Next to desk are racks of sophisticated gear. On a Sunday morning,
when most men are relaxing, spending time with their families, Dyson
is hard at work.

IN A PROFILE CLOSEUP we see him in deep concentration, his mind
prowling the labyrinth of his new microprocessor.

A WOMAN'S FACE ENTERS FRAME soundlessly behind him. He doesn't hear
her. His wife, TARISSA, extends her tongue and traces it down the
back of his neck. He smiles and turns to kiss her good morning.
She's still in her bathrobe, holding coffee. He's been up for hours.
He turns and goes back to work, forgetting instantly that she is
standing there.

She watches him work, the arcane symbols moving across the screen.
We see her frustration, her inability to truly enter the magic box
of his world.

TARISSA
You going to work all day?

DYSON
I'm sorry, baby. This thing is just kicking my
ass. I thought we had it with this one...

He points to a metal box on his desk, about two feet long. As
assembly of small cubes. It looks like a dinosaur version of
Terminator's CPU.
DYSON
... but the output went to shit after three
seconds. I'm thinking now it's the way I'm
matrixing the command hierarchies...

TARISSA
You need a break. You'll see it clear when you
come back.

DYSON
I can't

TARISSA
Miles, it's Sunday. You promised to take the
kids to Raging Waters today.

DYSON
Oh. I can't, honey. I'm on a roll here.

He takes her hands. We see a childlike excitement in his face. He
wants so badly to share the almost orgasmic thrill of discovery,
the satisfaction of creation.

DYSON
Baby, this thing is going to blow 'em all away.
It's a neural-net process --

TARISSA
I know. You told me. It's a neural-net
processor. It thinks and learns like we do.
It's superconducting at room temperature.
Other computer are pocket calculators by
comparison.
(she pulls away from him)
But why is that so goddamn important, Miles?
I really need to know, 'cause I feel like I'm
going crazy here, sometimes.

DYSON
I'm sorry, honey, it's just that I'm thiiis
close.

He holds up his thumb and index finger... a fraction of an inch apart.
She picks up the prototype. It doesn't look like much.

DYSON
Imagine a jetline with a pilot that never makes
a mistake, never gets tired, never shows up to
work with a hangover.
(he taps the prototype)
Meet the pilot.
TARISSA
Why did you marry me, Miles? Why did we have
these two children? You don't need us. Your
heart and your mind are in here.
(she stares at the metal box
in her hands)
But it doesn't love you like we do.

He takes the anodized box from her hands and sets it down. Then he
puts his hands on her shoulders and kisses her gently. She acquiesces
to his kiss.

DYSON
I'm sorry.

Tarissa glances over his shoulder. She nods her head toward the
doorway to the study. Dyson turns and sees their two kids standing
there. Danny (6) and Blythe (4) look rumpled and adorable in their
PJs. Dyson wilts at their hopeful expressions.

TARISSA
How about spending some time with your other
babies?

Dyson grins. The forces of darkness have lost this round. He holds
out his hands and his kids run to him, cheering.

CUT TO:

A100 EXT. DESERT/COMPOUND - DAY

The desert northwest of Calexico. Burning under the sun like a
hallucination. Heat shimmers the image, mirage-like.
Terminator turns the pickup off the paved road and barrels along a
roadbed a sand and gravel, trailing a huge plume of dust.
A sign at the turnoff says: CHARON MESA 2 MI
CALEXICO 15 MI

A101 AHEAD is a pathetic oasis of humanity in the vast wasteland, a couple
of aging house-trailers, surrounded by assorted junk vehicles and
desert-style trash. There is a dirt airstrip behind the trailers, and
a stripped Huey helicopter sitting on block nearby.

The truck rolls to a stop in a cloud of dust. The place looks
deserted. The door to the nearest trailer bangs in the wind.

SARAH
(to Terminator and John)
Stay in the truck.

A102 ANGLE FROM INSIDE ANOTHER TRAILER, NEARBY.
A DARK FIGURE in the F.G. has an AK-47 trained on the pickup as
Sarah gets out.

ON SARAH peering through the backlit dust.
The sound of wind. She approaches the trailer.
SARAH
(in Spanish)
Enrique? You here?

She hears KACHANK! behind her and spins, whipping out her .45 in one
motion.

ENRIQUE SALCEDA stands behind a rusting jeep, a 12-gauge pump trained
on her. He is mid-forties, a tough Guatemalan with a weathered face
and heavy mustache. He wears cowboy boots and a flak vest, no shirt.

SALCEDA
You pretty jumpy, Connor.

His fierce face breaks into a broad grin. The shotgun drops to his
side as he walks toward her. When he reaches her he hugs her, then
steps back.

SALCEDA
(in Spanish)
Good to see you, Connor. I knew you'd make it
back here sooner or later.

He grins at John as he steps from the truck, and then clocks
Terminator getting out.

SALCEDA
Oye, Big John! Que pasa? Who's your very large
friend?
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Miles Dyson works on his revolutionary microprocessor, while his wife expresses her frustration at his obsession. Their children interrupt, causing Dyson to take a break. Meanwhile, Sarah, John, and Terminator arrive at an oasis in the desert to meet with Enrique Salceda.
Strengths "The scene effectively shows the contrast between Dyson's obsession and his family, while also introducing a new character in Salceda."
Weaknesses "The scene may be slow-paced compared to the previous action-packed scene."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written with strong character development and a clear sense of setting and action. The dialogue between Miles and Tarissa feels genuine, and the tension between their relationship and his work is well established. The introduction of Salceda and his confrontation with Sarah adds suspense and excitement to the scene, while also introducing a new character dynamic. One area for improvement could be to tighten up some of the descriptions and actions, as there are moments where the writing feels a bit meandering or repetitive. However, overall, this is a solid scene with good pacing and effective characterization.
Suggestions - The scene could benefit from more showing, less telling. Instead of having Tarissa explicitly express her frustration and feelings about the project, show her body language and expressions as she watches him work. Show her trying to start a conversation with him, only to be ignored.
- The dialogue could be tightened up to make it more concise and natural.
- The introduction of Enrique feels abrupt and sudden. There should be more buildup or context to his character and his relationship with Sarah.



Scene 24 -  Preparing for the Border Crossing
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
JOHN
(perfect Spanish)
He's cool, Enrique. He's... uh... this is my
Uncle Bob.
(to Terminator, in English)
Uncle Bob, this is Enrique.

Terminator smiles. Sort of. Salceda squints at him,

SALCEDA
Hmmm. Uncle Bob, huh? Okay.
(yelling)
Yolanda. Get out here, we got company. And
bring some fucking tequila!

A thin Guatemalan KID, FRANCO, eighteen or so, comes out of the
trailer with the AK-47, followed by Salceda's wife, YOLANDA. She has
THREE younger children with her, from a five-year-old GIRL, JUANITA,
to a year-and-half-old BOY. She waves at John. They exchange
greetings in Spanish. They seem like nice people.
Terminator looks down at John, next to him. He says quietly...

TERMINATOR
Uncle Bob?
SALCEDA
(to Sarah)
So, Sarahlita, you getting famous, you know
that? All over the goddamn TV.

Salceda rips the cap off the tequila bottle. The two-year-old toddles
to Terminator and grabs his pants, sliming them with drool.
Terminator looks down at the tiny kid, fascinated. What is it?
He picks up the child with one huge hand. Looks at it. Turns it
different ways. Studying it. Then sets it down. The kid waddles
off, a little dizzy.

SALCEDA
Honey, take Pacolito. Thanks, baby.

She hands him the tequila and takes the child. Salceda takes a long
pull from the Cuervo bottle.

SALCEDA
(to Terminator)
Drink?

Terminator gestures "no" at the proffered bottle, but Sarah grabs it
and takes a long pull. She lowers it without expression. Her eyes
don't even water.

SARAH
I just came for my stuff. And I need clothes,
food, and one of your trucks.

SALCEDA
(grinning)
Hey, how about the fillings out of my fucking
teeth while you're at it?

SARAH
Now, Enrique.
(turns to Terminator and John)
You two are on weapons detail.

CUT TO:

A103 EXT. COMPOUND/BEHIND THE TRAILERS

There is an aging and rusted Caterpillar sitting behind one of the
trailers. John expertly backs it toward Terminator who is holding
one end of a piece of heavy chain which disappears into the sand.

JOHN
Hook it on.

Terminator hooks the chain onto the towhook on the back of the
tractor. John hits the throttle and the Cat churns its treads,
pulling some massive load. A six-by-eight foot sheet of steel plate
moves slowly under six inches of sand.
John drags it far enough to reveal... a rectangular hole in the
ground. Like the mouth of a tomb. The kid drops down from the
tractor and walks to the hole.

JOHN
One thing about my mom... she always plans
ahead.

A104 INT. WEAPONS CACHE

From inside the "tomb". Sunlight slashes down into a cinder-block
room, less than six feet wide but over twenty long. Sand spills down
the steps. The walls are lined with guns.

John precedes Terminator into Sarah's weapons cache. Rifles, pistols,
rocket launchers, mortars, RPGs, radio gear. At the far end, boxes
containing ammo, grenades, etc. are stacked to the ceiling.
Terminator gets real alert. Scanning, wondering where to begin. He
picks up a MAC-10 machine pistol. Racks the bolt.

TERMINATOR
Excellent.

JOHN
Yeah, I thought you'd like this place.

A105 EXT. COMPOUND/NEARBY

Sarah emerges from a trailer. She has changed. Boots, black fatigue
pants, T-shirt. Shades. She looks hard.
Salceda is nearby, packing food and other survival equipment with
Yolanda. He looks up as Sarah approaches, and slaps the side of a
BIG FOUR-BY BRONCO next to him,

SALCEDA
This is the best truck, but the water pump is
blown. You got the time to change it out?

SARAH
Yeah. I'm gonna wait till dark to cross the
border.
(she pulls him away from
Yolanda)
Enrique, it's dangerous for you here. You get
out tonight, too, okay?

SALCEDA
Yeah, Saralita. Sure.
(he grins)
Just drop by any time and totally fuck up my
life.

She slaps him on the shoulder.

CUT TO:
A106 INT. WEAPONS CACHE

Terminator returns from carrying out several cases of ammo. John is
selecting rifles from a long rack.

JOHN
See, I grew up in places like this, so I just
thought it was how people lived... riding
around in helicopters. Learning how to blow
shit up.

John grabs an AK-47 and racks the bolt with a practiced action.
Inspects the receiver for wear. Doesn't like what he sees. Puts is
back. His movement are efficient. Professional. Uninterested.

JOHN
Then, when Mom got busted I got put in a
regular school. The other kids were, like,
into Nintendo.

Terminator has found a Vietnam-era "blooper" M-79 grenade launcher.
A very crude but effective weapon. He opens the breech and inspects
the bore.

JOHN
Are you ever afraid?

Terminator pauses for a second. The thought never occurred to him.
He searches him mind for the answer...

TERMINATOR
No.

Terminator slings the M-79 and starts looking for the grenades.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Sarah, John, and Terminator prepare for their journey south to stop the creation of Skynet. They stop at an oasis to meet with Enrique Salceda and gather supplies. John and Terminator load up on weapons while Sarah arranges for transportation.
Strengths "Effective establishment of final preparations, tense mood, use of Spanish dialogue."
Weaknesses "Limited character development or emotional engagement, somewhat repetitive of previous scenes."
Critique The scene effectively establishes the characters and the setting. The dialogue feels natural and organic, and the use of Spanish adds authenticity to the scene. However, the action description could benefit from more descriptive language, allowing the reader to fully visualize the scene. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more characterization of the main characters, as they are not well-established beyond their actions and dialogue.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions:

1. Clarify the action: There are a few moments in this scene that are a bit unclear - for example, when Terminator picks up the child and turns it different ways. It's not clear what he's doing or what he's thinking. Adding a bit more description or inner monologue could help clarify these moments.

2. Add tension: The scene is mostly dialogue and action, but it could benefit from a bit more tension or conflict. For example, when Sarah asks for the truck and Salceda jokes about her taking everything, there could be a bit more tension in the exchange - some sense that Salceda might not want to give up the truck, or that he's conflicted about helping them.

3. Characterization: There are a lot of characters in this scene, but we don't get a strong sense of who any of them are beyond a few basic details. Adding some unique traits or quirks to each character could help bring them to life.

4. Visuals: There are some great visual moments in this scene, such as the reveal of the weapons cache. Adding more description of these visuals could help make the scene more immersive and cinematic.



Scene 25 -  Preparing for the Mission
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
JOHN
Not even of dying?

TERMINATOR
No.

JOHN
You don't feel any emotion about it one way
or the other?

TERMINATOR
No. I have to stay functional until my mission
is complete. Then it doesn't matter.

John is idly spinning a Sig Saur 9mm pistol on his finger... backwards
and forwards like Bat Masteron.

JOHN
Yeah. I have to stay functional too.
(sing-songy)
"I'm too important".
Terminator pulls back a canvas tarp, revealing a squat, heavy weapon
with six barrels clustered in a blunt cylinder. Chain-ammo is fed
from a canister sitting next to it. A G.E. MINI-GUN. The most
fearsome anti-personnel weapon of the Vietnam era.
Terminator hefts it. Looks at John as if to say "Can I? Please?"

JOHN
It's definitely you.

CUT TO:

A107 EXT. COMPOUND - DAY/LATER

Sarah and John have their weapons and supply selections laided out on
two battered picnic tables for cleaning and packing. Maps, radios,
documents, explosives, detonators... just the basics. Sarah is field-
stripping and cleaning guns, very methodical. There is no wasted
motion.

Not far away, John and Terminator are working on the Bronco. They're
greasy up to their elbows, lying on their backs under the engine
compartment, ratcheting bolts into places on the new water pump.

JOHN
There was this one guy that was kinda cool.
He taught me engines. Hold this a second. Mom
screwed it up, of course. Sooner or later she'd
always tell them about Judgment Day and me being
this world leader and that's be all she wrote.

John thinks he's being causal, but his longing for some kind of
parental connection is obvious.

TERMINATOR
Torque wrench please.

JOHN
Here. I wish I coulda met my real dad.

TERMINATOR
You will.

JOHN
Yeah. I guess so. My mom says when I'm, like,
45, I think, I send him back through time to
1984. But right now he hasn't even been born
yet. Man, is messes with your head. Where's
that other bolt?
(Terminator hands it to him)
Thanks. Mom and him were only together for one
night, but she still loves him, I guess. I see
her crying sometimes. She denies it totally,
of course. Like she says she got something in
her eye.

They crawl out from under the truck into the bright sunlight.
TERMINATOR
Why do you cry?

JOHN
You mean people? I don't know. We just cry.
You know. When it hurts.

TERMINATOR
Pain causes it?

JOHN
Uh-unh, no, it's different... It's when there's
nothing wrong with you but you hurt anyway. You
get it?

TERMINATOR
No.

Terminator gets into the Bronco and turns the ignition key and the
engine catches with a roar.

JOHN
Alriight!! My man!

TERMINATOR
No problemo.

John grins and does a victorious thumbs up.
Terminator imitates the gesture awkwardly.
John laughs and makes him get out of the truck, to try the move again.

A108 SARAH, across the compound, pauses in her work to watch John and
Terminator.

A109 SARAH'S POV... we don't hear what John and Terminator are saying. It
is a soundless pantomime as John is trying to show some other gestures
to the cyborg. Trying to get him to walk more casually. John walks,
then Terminator tries it, then John gestures wildly, talking very
fast... explaining the fundamental principles of cool. They try it
again. Continued ad lib as we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly
so clear. The Terminator would never stop, it
would never leave him... it would always be
there. And it would never hurt him, never shout
at him or get drunk and hit him, or say it
couldn't spend time with him because it was too
busy. And it would die to protect him. Of all
the would-be fathers who came and went over the
years, this thing, this machine, was the only
one who measured up. In an insane world, it was
the sanest choice.

Sarah clenches her jaw and goes grimly back to work... a strong woman
made hard and cold by years of hard choices.

CUT TO;
A110 EXT. ROAD - DAY

A police cruiser is parked off the side of a quiet, empty road on the
outskirts of Los Angeles. A ribbon of traffic moves steadily by on a
freeway in the distance. Nothing stirs around the cruiser except some
pump-jacks sucking the earth on the hill behind it.

A111 IN THE CRUISER. The T-1000 sits inside. John's notes and letters are
spread out on the seat beside it. Sarah's voice speaks from a
cassette deck. John's tapes. Her voices mixes with the static filled
chatter of the radio that T-1000 monitors for any signs of its
targets.

SARAH
... if we are ever separated, and can't make
contact, go to Enrique's airstrip. I'll
rendezvous with you there.

T-1000 whips around and rewinds the tape, replaying the last section.
It then snaps up the envelope of photos we saw earlier.
Genres: ["action","sci-fi"]

Summary Sarah, John, and Terminator prepare for their journey south to stop the creation of Skynet. They stop at an oasis to meet with Enrique Salceda and gather supplies. John and Terminator load up on weapons while Sarah arranges for transportation.
Strengths
  • Strong character development for John and Terminator
  • Emotional moment between Sarah and John
  • Establishes T-1000's surveillance of the group
Weaknesses
  • Lack of action or suspense
  • Some dialogue feels exposition-heavy
Critique Overall, this scene effectively builds characterization and relationships between the main characters. The dialogue between John and the Terminator is particularly well-crafted, displaying their differences in understanding of human emotion in a humorous and engaging way. The use of soundless pantomime to show their interactions is also a clever choice.

The scene is relatively descriptive in its action lines, but could benefit from more sensory detailing to better immerse the reader in the setting. For example, adding description of the smell of the greasy car engine, the heat of the sun on their skin, or the sound of the mini-gun firing could make the scene more vivid.

In terms of structure, the scene transitions smoothly from the previous one and advances the plot by showing the characters preparing for their mission and developing their relationships.

Overall, this scene is well-written and enjoyable to read.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Show, don't tell. Rather than having John and the Terminator simply talk about their lack of emotions, try to show it through their actions and reactions to events. This will make the scene more visually interesting and engaging.

2. Develop the relationship between Sarah and John further. While the scene does show them working together, it may be beneficial to add a moment of deeper connection between them to emphasize the bond they share.

3. Use more sensory details. The scene could be enhanced by adding more descriptions of the environment and actions, such as the sound of the engine roaring, the smell of the grease, or the way John's voice changes when he talks about his real father.

4. Make the scene more relevant to the overall plot. While it's important to develop the characters and relationships, it's also crucial to keep the audience invested in the larger story. Consider adding an element of foreshadowing or setting up a future conflict to keep the audience engaged.



Scene 26 -  No Fate
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
ECU on envelope. We see the postmark: "Charon Mesa, Calif."

TIGHT ON T-1000 staring at the postmark on the envelope. It glances
up at the sound of crunching gravel. In the rear-view it sees a BIKE
COP pulling onto the shoulder behind it. The big KAWASAKI 1100 idles
up next to the T-1000, still seated in the cruiser.

BIKE COP
Howdy. I saw you pulled over here earlier.
Everything okay?

T-1000
Everything's fine. Thanks for checking.
(it gets slowly out of
the car)
Since you're here, though, can I talk to you
a second...

CUT TO:

A112 EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY/MINUTES LATER

The T-1000 thunders along on the Kawasaki 1100, doing about a hundred
and twenty. PAN WITH IT until it recedes toward the horizon.

CUT TO:

A113 EXT. COMPOUND - DAY (LATE AFTERNOON)

Sarah sits at the picnic table. The weapons are cleaned and her work
is done. She hasn't slept in twenty-four hours and she seems to have
the weight of the whole world on her shoulder.
She draws her knife from its belt sheath.
Idly starts to carve something on the table top... the letter "N".


A114 NOT FAR AWAY, John and Terminator are packing the Bronco for the trip.
A115 ON SARAH, AT THE TABLE as she looks up from her carving, thinking.
She watches Salceda's kids playing nearby... wrestling with a mutty
dog and loving it. Sarah watches Yolanda walking her toddler by her
hands. Backlit, stylized. She looks over at John. Loading guns and
supplies.

A116 ANGLE ON kids playing.

A117 SARAH'S HEAD droops. She closes her eyes.

A118 TIGHT ON small children playing. Different ones.
Wider now, to reveal a playground in a park. Very idyllic. A dream
playground, crowded with laughing children playing on swings, slides,
and a jungle gym. It could be the playground we saw melted and frozen
in the post-nuclear desolation of 2029. But here the grass is vibrant
green and the sun is shining.

118A Sarah, short-haired, looking drab and paramilitary, stands outside the
playground. An outsider. Her fingers are hooked in a chain-link
fence and she is staring through the fence at the young mothers
playing with their kids. A grim-faced harbinger.

118B Some girls play skip-rope. Their sing-song weaves through the random
burbling laughter of the kids. One of the young mothers walks her
two-year-old son by the hands. She is wearing a pink waitress
uniform. She turns to us, laughing.
It is Sarah. Beautiful. Radiant. Sarah from another life,
uncontaminated by the dark future. She glances at the strange woman
beyond the fence.

118C Grim-faced Sarah presses against the fence. She starts shouting at
them in SLOW MOTION. No sound comes from her mouth. She grabs the
fence in frustration, shaking it. Screaming soundlessly.
Waitress Sarah's smile falls. Then returns as her little boy throws
some sand at her. She laughs, turns away, as if the woman at the
fence were a shadow, a trick of light.

118D-118F OMITTED

118G THE SKY EXPLODES. The children ignite like match heads. Sarah is
burning, screaming silently, everything silent and overexposed.

118H THE BLAST WAVE HITS... devouring the cowering mothers and children.
Sarah's scream merges with the howl of the wind as the shockwave rips
into her, blasting her apart and she...

119 Wakes up.
All is quiet and normal. The children are still playing nearby. Less
than fifteen minutes have gone by.

Bathed in sweat, Sarah sits hunched over the table.
Every muscle is shaking. She is gasping.
Sarah struggles to breathe, running her hand through her hair which is
soaked with sweat, She can escape from the hospital, but she can't
escape from the madness which haunts her.
She looks down at the words she has carved on the table, amid the
scrawled hearts and bird-droppings. They are: "NO FATE."
Something changes in her eyes. She slams her knife down in the table
top, embedding it deeply in the words. Then gets up suddenly and
we --

CUT TO:

A120 LONG LENS on Sarah walking toward us, striding across the compound
with grim purpose. She carries a small nylon pack and a CAR-15
assault rifle. Her face is an impassive mask. She has become a
terminator.

A120A JOHN LOOKS UP from his work in time to see Sarah throw the rifle
behind the seat of their stolen pickup, jump in and start it. She
slams it in gear. Salceda walks up to John.

SALCEDA
She said you go south with him...
(he points at Terminator)
... tonight, like you planned. She will meet
you tomorrow in...

But John is moving, running after her.

JOHN
Mommm!! Wait!!

A120B MOVING WITH SARAH as she leaves the compound. We see John running
after her... yelling. Can't hear his words. She looks in the rear-
view mirror but doesn't slow down.

CUT TO:

A121 EXT. COMPOUND - DUSK/MINUTES LATER

John and Terminator ponders the message carved into the top of the
picnic table. Sarah's knife is still embedded there.

JOHN
"No fate." No fate but what we make. My father
told her this... I mean I made him memorize it,
up in the future, as a message to her --
Never mind. Okay, the whole thing goes "The
future is not set. There is no fate but what
we make for ourselves."

TERMINATOR
She intends to change the future somehow.

JOHN
I guess, yeah --
(snaps his fingers as it hit him)
Oh shit!!
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Sarah has a vivid nightmare of a post-apocalyptic future as she prepares to travel south with John and Terminator to stop the creation of Skynet. She becomes increasingly determined to change the future, carving 'No Fate' into a picnic table. She abruptly leaves the compound, leaving John and Terminator to follow. The scene ends with John realizing that Sarah intends to change the future and reacting with shock.
Strengths "The powerful imagery of Sarah's nightmare and the emotional impact of her determination to change the future are strong points of this scene."
Weaknesses "The dialogue in this scene is not particularly memorable or impactful."
Critique This scene shows a lot of visual storytelling, particularly in the contrasting images of Sarah's distress and the idyllic playground. However, the transition between the two could be smoother. The dialogue between the T-1000 and the bike cop doesn't really add much to the scene and could be trimmed down. Additionally, the scene where Sarah becomes a "terminator" could benefit from more context and build-up leading up to this moment. Overall, while there are some areas that could be improved, the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and flows smoothly. However, there are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Make the T-1000's interaction with the bike cop more tense. The T-1000 is a dangerous villain and this scene could benefit from a sense of danger and urgency.

2. Consider adding more descriptive language to Sarah as she walks towards us with the nylon pack and assault rifle. This is a powerful moment for her character and more detail could help emphasize her transformation into a terminator.

3. Clarify John's dialogue when he explains the message his father gave to Sarah. It's a bit confusing and could benefit from some rephrasing or simplification.

4. Finally, consider adding more suspense and impact to the ending. The revelation that Sarah intends to change the future is a big moment, but it feels a bit rushed in this version. Adding more tension and drama to this final beat could help elevate the scene and give it a stronger ending.



Scene 27 -  The Attack on Dyson
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
TERMINATOR
Dyson.
JOHN
Yeah, gotta be! Miles Dyson! She's gonna blow
him away!

John motions to Terminator and breaks into a run.

JOHN
Come on. Let's go. LET'S GO!!

CUT TO:

A122 INT./EXT. SARAH'S JEEP - DUSK

Sarah speeds through the darkening desert. Expressionless. In her
dark glasses, she looks as pitiless as an insect.

DISSOLVE TO:

A123 EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

TRACKING WITH THE BRONCO, Terminator and John heading toward L.A.

TERMINATOR
This is tactically dangerous.

JOHN
Drive faster.

TERMINATOR
The T-1000 has the same files that I do. It
could anticipate this move and reacquire you
at Dyson's house.

JOHN
I don't care. We've gotta stop her.

TERMINATOR
Killing Dyson might actually prevent the war.

JOHN
I don't care!! There's gotta be another way.
Haven't you learned anything?! Haven't you
figured out why you can't kill people?

Terminator is still stumped.

JOHN
Look, maybe you don't care if you live or die.
But everybody's not like that! Okay?! We have
feelings. We hurt. We're afraid. You gotta
learn this stuff, man, I'm not kidding. It's
important.

PANNING as they pass, revealing the lights of the city ahead.

CUT TO:
A124 EXT, DYSON'S HOUSE - NIGHT

The house is high-tech and luxurious. Lots of glass. Dyson's study
is lit bluish with the glow of his computer monitors. He is at the
terminal, working. Where else? We see him clearly in a long shot
from an embankment behind the house.

A DARK FIGURE moves into the foreground. Rack focus to Sarah as she
turns into profile. She raises the CAR-15 rifle and begins screwing
the long heavy cylinder of a sound-suppresser onto the end of the
barrel.

CUT TO:

A125-A125K OMITTED

129 OMITTED

129A INT. DYSON HOUSE

Dyson's kids, Danny and Blythe, are playing in the halls with a radio-
controlled off-road truck. Danny drives and Blythe scampers after it,
trying to catch it. They stop in the hall outside Dyson's study and
sees him working at his terminal. Danny puts a finger to his lips,
shushing Blythe. His expression is mischievous.

129B With the silencer in place, Sarah eases back the bolt and then slips
it forward, chambering a .223 round. Then she lies down on the
embankment.
He cheek pressed against the cool rifle-stock, she slides one hand
slowly forward to brace the weapon, taking the weight on her elbow.
Her other hand slips knowingly to the trigger.

Her expression is cold, impassive. She looks through the scope at the
man in the house. She feels nothing as she raises the rifle.

130 OMITTED

130A INT. DYSON'S HOUSE

DYSON, in deep thought. The rhythmic sounds of keys as he works.
Symbols on the screen shift.

ON HIS BACK we see the glowing red dot appear. It is the target dot
of Sarah's laser designator. It moves silently up his back toward
his head.

131 EXT. DYSON HOUSE/EMBANKMENT

IN EXTREME CLOSEUP we see Sarah's eye at the night-scope.
TIGHT INSERT on her finger as it tightens on the trigger, taking out
the slack. She takes a deep breath and holds it. Adjusts her
position minutely.

132 INT. DYSON HOUSE

The laser dot jiggles on the back of Dyson's neck and then rises,
centering on the back of his skull.
132A LOW ANGLE as Danny's Bigfoot truck roars toward us -- FILLING FRAME.
Thump. It hits Dyson's foot. He jerks, startled, and looks down
as --
POP!!

132B His monitor screen is BLOWN OUT spraying his with glass. He jerks
back, utterly shocked... and spins to see the huge hole blown through
the window behind him. This saves him as K-THUMP! -- the second shot
blows the top of his high-backed chain into an explosion of stuffing
an inch from his head.
Instinctively he dives to the carpet as --

BLAM BLAM BLAM -- rounds blast through the window, tearing into his
desk and computer, blowing his keyboard into shrapnel.

132C With the monitor screen blown out, the room is in darkness. Sarah
can't see Dyson now, down behind his desk. She puts round after round
into the heavy desk, blasting one side of it into kindling.

132D Dyson, scared out of his mind, has his face jammed against the carpet,
terrified to move. He sees his kids in the hall.

DYSON
Run, kids! Go! Run!

132E IN THE HALL, TARISSA rounds the corner at a dead run. She sees the
kids running toward her and grabs them in her arms. Down the hall,
in the dark study, she sees Dyson on the floor amid the splinters and
shrapnel of the continuing fusillade.

TARISSA
Miles! Oh my God!!

MILES
Stay back!!

132F ON THE FLOOR, Dyson flinches as chucks of wood and shattered computer
components shower down on him. He looks desperately toward the door,
but knows he'd be totally exposed. He'd never make it.

133 SARAH's rifle empties with a final CLACK!
She throws it down and draws her .45 smoothly from a shoulder base.
She starts toward the house, snapping back the slide on the pistol,
chambering a round. She is in a fast, purposeful walk, keeping her
eyes fixed on the target. She is utterly determined to kill this man.

134 FROM UNDER THE DESK Dyson can see a sliver in the backyard. He sees
Sarah's feet as she strides toward him. He tenses to make a break for
the door.

Sarah raises the pistol, eyes riveted ahead, controlling her
breathing. Dyson springs up in a full-tilt sprint. She tracks him.
He hooks a foot on the cord of a toppled disk drive.
BOOM! Her shot blows apart a lamp where his head was.
He hits the floor hard, but keeps moving, scrambling forward.

Crunch of glass behind his as Sarah's dark form is framed in the
blown-out floor-to-ceiling window. Dyson leaps toward the hall.
BOOM! Her second shot spins him. He hits the floor in the hallway.
Tarissa is screaming. Dyson struggles forward, stunned. There is a
.45-caliber hole clean through his left shoulder. He smears the wall
with blood as he staggers up. Looking back, he sees the implacable
figure behind him, coming on.

He topples through a doorway as --
BOOM! BOOM! Shots blowing away the molding where he just was.

135 EXT. DYSON HOUSE/STREET

Terminator and John leap from the jeep, sprinting toward the house.
The shots sound muffles from outside.

JOHN
Shit, we're too late!
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah attempts to assassinate Miles Dyson, but is stopped by the arrival of his family and the intervention of Terminator and John.
Strengths "Intense action sequence"
Weaknesses "Thin character development"
Critique The scene is well-written and moves quickly, keeping the audience engaged. The tension builds from the moment the plan to kill Dyson is announced and carries through until the climactic confrontation between Sarah and Dyson. The dialogue is concise, and every line of dialogue has a purpose. The use of the laser designator and night-scope adds a sense of realism to the scene. However, some of the action descriptions could be clearer, as it may be difficult for a director to visualize precisely how the scene should be shot.
Suggestions While the scene definitely has tension and action, there are a few areas that could use improvement:

1. Show more emotion from Sarah: Sarah is about to kill a man, and while we see her cold and expressionless, it might be more impactful to show some hesitation or conflict within her. This will also make John's argument about feelings and fear more effective.

2. Clarify the geography: It's not entirely clear where everyone is in relation to each other during the shooting. Adding some description of the layout of the house and where each character is in the scene will make it easier to follow.

3. Use more active language: Some of the language here is passive ("We see him clearly in a long shot," "The laser dot jiggles on the back of Dyson's neck") which can make the scene feel less active. Using more action-oriented language will make the scene feel more urgent and exciting.

4. Cut down on repetition: The conversation between John and the Terminator runs a bit long, with them repeating the same points multiple times. Streamlining the dialogue will make the scene feel tighter and more impactful overall.



Scene 28 -  The Failed Assassination
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 6
136 INT. HOUSE

Advancing with Sarah we enter the living area. Tarissa has Blythe and
she's screaming at Danny, who has run back to his collapsed father.

TARISSA
Danny! DANNY!

DANNY
Daaaaddddeeee!

Danny is pulling at Dyson, crying and screaming, as his father tries
to stagger forward. Tarissa drops Blythe and runs back for Dyson,
grabbing him. Sarah looms behind them with the pistol aimed.

SARAH
Don't fucking move! Don't FUCKING MOVE!!
(she swings the gun on
Tarissa)
Get on the floor, bitch! Now!! Fucking down!
NOW!!

Sarah is crazy-eyed now, shaking with the intensity of the moment.
The kill has gone bad, with screaming kids and the wife involved...
things she never figured on. Tarissa drops to the knees, terrified
as she looks into the muzzle of the gun. Blythe runs to Dyson and
hugs him, wailing.

BLYTHE
Don't hurt my father!

SARAH
(screaming)
Shut up, kid! Get out of the way!!

Dyson looks up, through his pain and incomprehension. Why is this
nightmare happening? The black gun muzzle is a foot from his face.

DYSON
(gasping)
Please... let... the kids... go...
SARAH
Shut up! SHUT UP!! Motherfucker! It's all
your fault! IT'S YOUR FAULT!!

We see her psyching herself to pull the trigger... needing now to hate
this man she doesn't know. It's a lot harder face-to-face. She is
bathed in sweat, and it runs into her eyes. Blinking, she wipes it
fast with one hand, then gets it back on the gun. The .45 is
trembling.

TIGHT ON SARAH as we see the forces at war behind her eyes.
She looks into the faces of Dyson, Tarissa, Blythe, Danny.
Sarah takes a sharp breath and all the muscles in her arms contract
as she tenses to fire.
But her finger won't do it.
She lowers the gun very slowly. It drops to her side in one hand.

All the breath and energy seems to go out of her.
She weakly raises her other hand in a strange gesture, like "Stay
where you are, don't move". As if, should they move, the fragile
balance might tip back the other way.
She backs away from them slowly, panting. It's as if she's backing
away in terror from what she almost did. She reaches a wall and
slumps against it. Slides down to her knees. The gun falls limply
from her fingers.
She rests her cheek against the wall.

136A The front door is kicked in.
Terminator steps inside. John grabs his sleeve and pushes past him.
He scopes out the situation in two seconds... Sarah, the gun, the
sobbing family. John moves to Sarah while Terminator checks Dyson.

John kneels in front of his mother. She raises her head to look at
him. He sees the tears spilling down her cheeks,

JOHN
Mom? You okay?

SARAH
I couldn't... oh, God.
(she seems to she him for
the first time)
You... came here... to stop me?

JOHN
Uh huh.

She reaches out and takes his shoulder suddenly, surprising him...
drawing him to her. She hugs him and a great sob wells up deep inside
her, from a spring she had thought long dry. She hugs him fiercely
as the sobs wrack her.

John clutches her shoulders. It is all he ever wanted.

JOHN
It's okay. It'll by okay. We'll figure it
out.
SARAH
I love you, John. I always have.

JOHN
I know, Mom. I know.

TARISSA looks around at the bizarre tableau. Terminator has
wordlessly ripped open Dyson's shirt and examined the wound.

TERMINATOR
Clean penetration. No shattered bone.
Compression should control the loss of blood.

He takes Tarissa's hands and presses them firmly over the entrance and
exit wounds.

TERMINATOR
Do you have bandages?

DYSON
In the bathroom. Danny, can you get them for
us?

Danny nods and runs down the hall.
John disengages from Sarah. She wipes her tears, the instinct to
toughen up taking over again. But the healing moment has had its
effect, nevertheless.

John walks toward Dyson and Terminator.

DYSON
Who are you people?


John draws the Biker's knife from Terminator's boot. Hands it to him.


JOHN
Show him.

Terminator takes off his jacket to reveal bare arms.
John takes Blythe by the hands and leads her down the hall, away
from what is about to happen.

136B TIGHT ON TERMINATOR'S left forearm as the knife makes a deep cut just
below the elbow. In one smooth motion, Terminator cuts all the way
around his arm. With a second cut, he splits the skin of the forearm
from elbow to wrist.

TERMINATOR grasps the skin and strips is off his forearm like a
surgeon rips off a rubber glove. It comes off with a sucking rip,
leaving a bloody skeleton.

But the skeleton is made of bright metal, and is laced with hydraulic
actuators. The fingers are as finely crafted as watch parts... they
flex into a fist and extend. Terminator holds it up, palm out, in
almost the exact position of the one in the vault at Cyberdyne,
HOLD ON DYSON reacting to the servo-hand in front of him.
He's seen one of these before.

Tarissa is screaming now, but he doesn't hear her.

DYSON
My God.

TERMINATOR
Now listen to me very carefully.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action","Drama"]

Summary Sarah attempts to assassinate Miles Dyson but fails to pull the trigger, ultimately breaking down in tears. John arrives and soothes her as the Terminator tends to Dyson's wounds and reveals his true nature.
Strengths "The scene is emotionally intense and reveals key plot points regarding the characters and the Terminator's true nature."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not particularly engaging."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and builds tension effectively. The dialogue is strong and the action is easy to follow. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved.

Firstly, the introduction of Tarissa and Blythe could be clearer. It's unclear who they are or why they're in the scene until a few lines in. Clarifying this earlier on would help the audience understand the stakes and the emotional impact of what's happening.

Secondly, the scene could benefit from more visual description. There are a lot of close-ups on characters' faces and body language, but it would be helpful to also describe their surroundings and actions more vividly. This would help the audience visualize the scene and make it feel more immersive.

Finally, some of the characters' motivations and reactions could be more clearly established. For example, Sarah's decision not to shoot Dyson is a major turning point in the scene, but it's not entirely clear why she changes her mind. Adding some internal monologue or more explicit explanation of her thought process would make this moment more impactful. Similarly, Tarissa's reactions to the situation are not very well-established, so it's difficult to empathize with her or understand her perspective.

Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but could benefit from some tweaks to improve clarity and emotional impact.
Suggestions Overall, this is a strong scene with good tension and emotional depth. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

- Consider adding more physical details to the scene to increase the sense of place and urgency. For example, what does the living area look like? Are there any creative ways Sarah is using the space to take control of the situation?
- Consider tweaking the dialogue slightly to make it more realistic and character-driven. For example, when Sarah says "Don't fucking move!" and "Get on the floor, bitch!," it feels a bit over-the-top and gratuitous given that she's not really a cold-blooded killer. You could try something more specific to her character, like "Just stay right there. Nobody needs to get hurt." This could also help differentiate her from the Terminator, who is more likely to use forceful language.
- Consider adding a little more insight into what Sarah is feeling in the moment. Is she regretting her decision to come here? Is she conflicted about her own morality? Adding some internal monologue could deepen her character and add another layer of tension to the scene.
- Consider playing with the pacing a bit. The moment where Sarah can't bring herself to pull the trigger feels a little rushed, given how much build-up there was. You could draw out the suspense by spending more time lingering on Sarah's internal conflict and the reactions of the other characters in the room. Similarly, the transition from that moment to the arrival of the Terminator and John feels a bit abrupt -- perhaps you could build in a beat where Sarah is just sitting there, staring at the gun, before the door bursts open. That would give more weight to the entrance and add to the chaos of the scene.



Scene 29 -  Destroying the Evidence
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
137 INT. HOUSE/KITCHEN - LATER

Sarah puts out her fifth cigarette. She's sitting on the counter.
John, Terminator, Dyson, and Tarissa are at the kitchen table, under
a single overhead light.

Dyson looks like that guy on the Sistine Chapel wall, the damned
soul... eyes fixed and staring with terrifying knowledge. His
shoulder is bandaged. Terminator's arm is wrapped with a blood-soaked
bandage below the elbow.

The steel forearm and hand gleam in the harsh kitchen light.
TRACKING AROUND THE TABLE as Terminator speaks... we don't hear
the words.

SARAH (V.O.)
Dyson listened while the Terminator laid it all
down. Skynet. Judgment Day... the history of
things to come. It's not every day you find
out you're responsible for 3 billion deaths.
He took it pretty well, considering...

Terminator finishes speaking.

DYSON
I feel like I'M gonna throw up.

He looks around at them, clutching the table like he's about to blow
away. His face, his posture, his ragged voice express soul-wrenching
terror. This is a man ripped out of normal life into their grim
world. His voice is pleading.

DYSON
You're judging me on thing's I haven't even
done yet. Jesus. How were we supposed to know?

Sarah speaks from the shadows behind them. Dyson turns to find her
looking right at him.
SARAH
Yeah. Right. How were you supposed to know?
Fucking men... all you know how to do is thrust
into the world with your... fucking ideas and
your weapons. Did you know that every gun in
the world is named after a man? Colt, Browning,
Smith, Thompson, Kalashnikov... all men. Men
built the hydrogen bomb, not women... men like
you thought it up. You're so creative. You
don't know what it's like to really create
something... to create a life. To feel it growing
inside you. All you know how to create is
death... you fucking bastards.

JOHN
Mom, Mom, we need to be more constructive here.
I don't see this as a gender-related issue.
(to the Dysons)
She's still tense.
(to Sarah)
We still have to figure out how to stop it all
from happening. Right?

TARISSA
But I thought... aren't we changing things? I
mean... right now? Changing the way it goes?

DYSON
(seizing on that)
That's right! There's no way I'm going to
finish the new processor now. Forget it. I'm
out of it. I'm quitting Cyberdyne tomorrow...
I'll sell real estate, I don't care,,,

SARAH
(coldly)
That's not good enough.

Dyson's voice is pitiful.

DYSON
Look, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. I
just want my kids to have a chance to grow up,
okay?

TERMINATOR
No one must follow your work.

DYSON
(thoughts racing)
Alright, yeah. You're right. We have to
destroy the stuff at the lab, the files, disk
drive... and everything I have here. Everything!
I don't care.

CUT TO:
138 FIRE ROARING IN A METAL TRASH BARREL.
Stacks of files are dumped onto it.
WIDER reveals we are in --

138A EXT, DYSON'S BACKYARD - NIGHT

Terminator dumps lighter fluid liberally over the fire, which flares
up, lighting his face demonically. Sarah, Dyson, Tarissa, and John
return from his office with more stuff -- files, notes, optical disks.
Even his kids are carrying stuff. It all goes into the fire. Dyson
drops the prototype onto the fire... his eyes hollow and distant.

He stares into the fire, watching his world burning. The has a
sudden thought.

DYSON
Do you know about the chip?

SARAH
What chip?

DYSON
They have it in a vault at Cyberdyne...
(to Terminator)
It's gotta be from the other one like you.

TERMINATOR
(to Sarah)
The CPU from the first terminator.

SARAH
Son of a bitch, I knew it!

DYSON
They told us not to ask where they got it. I
thought... Japan... hell, I don't know. I
didn't want to know.

SARAH
Those lying motherfuckers!

DYSON
I was scary stuff, radically advanced. It was
shattered... didn't work. But it gave us ideas,
It took us in new directions... things we would
never have thought of. All this work is based
on it.

TERMINATOR
I must be destroyed.

SARAH
(to Dyson)
Can you get us in there, past security?

DYSON
I think so, yeah. When?
Dyson looks at her, Terminator, then John. Sees his answer.

DYSON
Now?
(he takes a breath)
Yeah, right.

He turns to his wife. Her face is streaked with tears, but her eyes
are strong and clear. Tarissa puts her hands on his arm. She is
stunned by what she's heard, but dealing with it. She believe them.

TARISSA
Miles, I'm scared. Okay. But the only thing
that scares me more than you going... is you
not going.

He nods. She's right.

SARAH
(to Terminator)
Is it safe for them here?

TERMINATOR
(to Tarissa)
Take your kids. Go to a hotel. Right now.
Don't pack.
(to the others)
Let's go.

CUT TO:

138B EXT, HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Pavement rushing at us, lit by headlights. Beyond, darkness.

SARAH (V.O.)
The future, always so clear to me, has become
like a black highway at night. We were in
uncharted territory now... making up history
as we went along.

TILT UP to reveal a rectangle of light ahead. The Cyberdyne
Building...
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Sarah, John, Terminator, and Dyson destroy the files and equipment related to Skynet, but then learn about a secret chip that Cyberdyne has. They decide to infiltrate the company to destroy the chip. Tarissa and Dyson's family are sent away to safety, and the group prepares to take action.
Strengths "Tense atmosphere, strong character development and remarkable progression of the plot"
Weaknesses "The dialogue could have been more impactful and memorable"
Critique The scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation. The dialogue is strong, particularly Sarah's monologue about men and their creations. The action flows smoothly and effectively, with clear direction and descriptions of the characters' physical actions. Overall, a strong scene.

One critique could be that some of the dialogue feels a bit on the nose - for example, when John says "Mom, Mom, we need to be more constructive here" it feels a bit too direct and expository. Additionally, some of the character motivations could be clearer - it's not entirely clear why Dyson feels such a strong sense of responsibility or why he is suddenly willing to risk everything to help the group. However, this may be addressed in earlier scenes or developed more in later scenes, so it's not necessarily a major issue.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and desperation of the characters as they try to stop Judgment Day. However, there are a few suggestions that could enhance the scene even further:

1. Show, don't tell. The scene opens with Sarah's voiceover explaining what has just happened, but it would be more powerful to see Dyson's reaction as the Terminator lays out the truth about Skynet and Judgment Day. Instead of hearing about Dyson's terror and pleading voice, we should see it on screen.

2. Consider adding more physical action to the scene. Since the characters are just sitting and talking around a table, it can feel a bit static. Perhaps a character could pace around or slam their fist down in frustration. Adding some small physical movements could help heighten the tension.

3. Be careful with gender politics. While Sarah's outburst about men and their role in creating weapons is a strong moment, it could also come across as heavy-handed or cliché. Consider toning down the rhetoric and letting Sarah's anger come through in more subtle ways.

4. Pay attention to pacing. While it's important to build tension in this scene, it's also important to keep the story moving forward. Maybe there's a way to speed up the conversation or add in some external conflict to keep the audience engaged.

Overall, though, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the action that follows. With a few tweaks, it could be even more impactful.



Scene 30 -  Infiltrating Cyberdyne Systems
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
139 INT. CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS BUILDING/LOBBY - NIGHT

TIGHT ON A CARD-KEY SCANNER as Dyson's hand zips his security card
through a slot in one motion. There is the sound of a servo-lock,
and --

139A DYSON enter the spacious lobby, followed by Sarah, John, and
Terminator last of all. In a frontal angle, the others block
Terminator from view.

THE GUARD at the front desk, GIBBONS, looks up as Dyson moves toward
him. Dyson is pale and sweaty, but smiles warmly at the guard,
speaking well before he reaches the desk.
DYSON
Evening, Paul. These are friends of mine from
out of town, I just thought I'd take them up
and show them around.

GIBBONS
I'm sorry, Mr. Dyson. You know the rules about
visitors in the lab. I need written authoriz --

K-CHAK! Gibbons is staring down the barrels of Sarah's .45 and
Terminator's MAC-10.

TERMINATOR
I insist.

The guard is too stunned to move. We see that Terminator is wearing
his jacket and one black glove.
Gibbon's eyes go to the silent alarm button on the console.

SARAH
Don't even think about it.

Gibbons nods. He stays frozen. Terminator circles quickly and gets
the guard out of the chair. John pulls a roll of duct-tape from his
knapsack and tears off a piece.

140 INT. SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR

ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN and Terminator leads the group warily into the
corridor. They have a cart piled high with gear in nylon bags.
Dyson motions down the corridor to the right. As they walk, he
continues to fill them in --

DYSON
The vault needs two keys to open. Mine...
(holds up key)
... and one from the security station. It's in
a locker but my card should access it. Here
we go.

They stand in front of a wide security door. A sign above reads
SPECIAL PROJECTS DIVISION: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. Dyson zips
his key-card through the scanner and the door unlatches.

141 OMITTED

142 INT. FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR/LOBBY

A ROVING GUARD, MOSHIER, strolls down the long corridor from the
first-floor office block. A punch clock swings at his hip, and he's
just completed his circuit of the building. He passes the back of
elevators and rounds the corner to the front desk, calling out --

MOSHIER
Honey, I'm home...

He sees the desk is deserted and frowns. Figures Gibbons must be in
the can, so checks that first before getting alarmed.
TRACKING WITH HIM to the restroom around the corner,

MOSHIER
Hey, man, you shouldn't leave the --

142A OVER HIS SHOULDER we see past the door as he pushes it open, revealing
Gibbons handcuffed to the urinal. Moshier spins on a dime and sprints
to the desk where he slams down on the silent alarm button.

153 INT. SECURITY STATION

The security station is a pass-through area with a counter, behind
which are desks and a bank of monitors, showing boring movies about
empty corridors. Dyson crosses quickly to a locker behind the
monitor area. He swished his card repeatedly through the scanner on
the locker. Nothing happens. The light on the locker is blinking
red. Sarah notices Dyson's alarmed expression.

DYSON
What? WHAT IS IT?

Dyson whips around, staring at a light flashing on the console behind
him.

DYSON
Silent alarm's been tripped. It neutralizes
the codes throughout the building. Nothing'll
open now.

We see his nerve snapping.

DYSON
We should abort.

SARAH
NO!! We're going all the way! You got that,
Dyson?

She's right in his face. Somehow, it works for him. He nods, getting
some resolve from somewhere.

144 INT. LOBBY

Moshier's gotten Gibbons loose. He's on the phone to the cops.

GIBBONS
... multiple armed subjects. Look, I think
it's the guy from that mall shootout, and the
woman... yeah, her. Pretty sure. Just send
everything you've got in the area --

145 INT. SECURITY STATION./LAB

John jumps up on the desk next to the wall-mounted locker. Dyson
stares in amazement as John starts pulling his counter-electronics
gear out of his knapsack. It's just another Ready-Teller to him.
JOHN
You guys get started on the lab... I can open
this.

145A Dyson leads Terminator and Sarah to the main lab doors. Another
servo-lock.
He tries his card. Nothing.

DYSON
No good.

TERMINATOR
Let me try mine.

He unslings the M-79, pulling it over his shoulder in one motion.
Sarah grabs Dyson and drags him back down the hall.
Terminator opens the breach and slide in one of the fat 40mm H.E.
grenades. He flips the thing closed with a snap of the wrist.

SARAH
(yelling as she runs)
John! Fire-in-the-hole!

John drops what he is doing, and covers his ears.
Terminator fires at inhumanely close range.
145B The door EXPLODES into kindling. The concussion blow his jacket
open, and flying shrapnel whizzes all around him. Before the
thunderclap has faded Terminator walks into the fire and smoke.
John goes back to work without missing a beat.
Sarah and a stunned Dyson walk through the burning doorframe into the
Artificial Intelligence Lab.

A SIREN is sounding. The HALON FIRE-CONTROL SYSTEM has been
triggered. The invisible gas roars in, putting out the flames.

DYSON
Fire's set off the halo system! Here...
hurry!

Dyson runs to a wall cabinet and pulls out some BREATHING MASKS. He
hands one to Sarah and dons the other. Then he reaches out to hand
one to Terminator.

DYSON
Here!

Terminator doesn't need a mask, since is oxygen requirements are so
low. He ignores Dyson as he removes his massive backpack and opens
it. Dyson shrugs and tosses the mask on a desk. He turns to Sarah.

DYSON
(yelling through the mask)
We'll have to keep these on a couple minutes,
till the gas clears.

Terminator pulls two five-gallon jerry-cans of gasoline from his
pack.
Sarah starts pulling out book-sized, olive-grab CLAYMORE MINES,
stacking them next to the gasoline. Dyson stares. Part of him can't
believe they're really doing this.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Sarah, John, Terminator, and Dyson infiltrate Cyberdyne Systems to destroy the secret chip related to Skynet, but an alarm is triggered and things become dangerous.
Strengths "Intense and action-packed scene that moves the plot forward. Character motivations and actions are clear and drive the scene."
Weaknesses "Dialogues are not very memorable, and the action may feel repetitive to some viewers."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and succeeds in building tension and suspense. However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made:

- The dialogue can sometimes come across as a bit stilted or overly-dramatic, such as when Sarah says "Don't even think about it" to the guard. Try to make the dialogue more natural and organic to the characters.
- The action can sometimes be confusing to follow, such as when Terminator circles the guard and gets him out of the chair. Consider adding more description to clarify the physical movements and make them easier to visualize.
- There could be more description of the setting and characters to make them feel more vivid and real to the audience. For example, what does the lobby look like beyond "spacious"? What does Dyson's pale and sweaty appearance actually look like? Adding these kinds of details can enhance the scene's realism.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions I would make to improve this scene:

- There is a lot of action happening, but it feels a bit rushed. Consider slowing down the pacing to build tension and suspense.
- Give more attention to the characters' emotions and reactions. For example, Dyson's nerves might manifest in different ways than just being pale and sweaty. Sarah and John might also have some fear or anxiety about what they're doing.
- Make Gibbons more of a character. Right now he feels like a one-dimensional obstacle to be overcome, but he could be developed more to add tension and stakes to the scene.
- Consider adding some dialogue or interaction between the characters to show their relationships and personalities. Right now they all feel like they're just there to complete a mission and there's not much else to them.
- Lastly, while the action is exciting, it would benefit from a stronger visual description. Use evocative language and vivid imagery to make the explosions and gunfire really come alive on the page.



Scene 31 -  The Heist
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
146 INT. DYSON HOUSE - NIGHT

The T-1000 moves slowly though the ravaged office, analyzing what has
happened here. It walks down the dark hallway. The place is
deserted. The police-walkie clipped on its belt (real, not simulated)
blares to life.

DISPATCHER (V.O.)
All units, all units. 211 in progress at 2144
Kramer Street, the Cyberdyne building. Multiple
suspects, armed with automatic weapons and
explosives. SWAT unit is en route...

147 EXT. HOUSE/STREET

The T-1000 sprints up and throws its leg over the big C.H.P. Kawasaki.
Fires it up. It smokes an arcing scorch-mark on the pavement as it
spins around and roars away.

CUT TO:

148 INT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING/LAB

TIGHT ON A LARGE DISK DRIVE. State-of-the-art. Very expensive. A
FIRE AXE smashes down through the housing, shattering the disk.

148A WIDER, revealing a scene of high-tech pillage. Terminator beats the
disk drive into junk and steps to another. WHAM. Same routine. He's
already demolished half a dozen.
Sarah topples a file cabinet, scattering files.
Dyson staggers up with an armload of heavy M-O (magnetic-optical)
disks and drops them on a growing stack in the middle of the floor.
He and Sarah have their breathing masks hanging down around their
necks, since the halon gas has dissipated.

DYSON
(to Sarah, panting)
Yeah, all that stuff! And all the disks in
those offices. Especially my office...
everything in my office!
(to Terminator)
These, too! This is important.
(SMASH!)
And all this here... that's it.

148B Sarah goes into Dyson's office and starts hurling everything out the
door onto the central junkpile... books, files, everything on the
desk.

A FRAMED PHOTO of Dyson's wife and kids lands on top of the heap.
Tarissa, hugging Danny and Blythe, all grinning. The glass is
shattered.
148C Terminator cuts a swath, under Dyson's direction, exploding equipment
into fragments with his inhuman swings.
SMASH! It's carnage. Millions in hardware, and all irreplaceable
fruits of their years of research... shattered, broken, dumped in a
heap for the big bonfire of destiny.
Dyson stops a second, panting.

DYSON
Give me that thing a second.

Terminator hands him the axe. Dyson hefts it one-handed. He turns to
a lab table... on it is another prototype processor.

DYSON
I've worked for years on this thing.

Swinging awkwardly but with great force he smashes the axe down onto
the processor prototype, exploding it into fragments. His shoulder is
agony, but he looks satisfied.

149 INT. SECOND FLOOR SECURITY STATION

John taps away at his little lap-top, which is running code
combinations into the card-key lock. Suddenly, the green light on
the lock goes on and it unlocks with a clunk.

JOHN
Easy money.

He whips it open, revealing a rack of keys. But the VAULT-KEY is
distinctive, a long steel rectangle on a neck-chain. John grabs it
and runs toward the lab.

150 INT. LAB

Sarah and Terminator are working like a crack team, rigging the
explosives. She is taping the claymores to the gas cans with duct
tape to create powerful incendiary bombs. Terminator is attaching
claymores and blocks of C-4 plastic explosive to the large MAINFRAME
COMPUTER cabinets nearby. All the claymores are wired back to one
detonator with has a RADIO-CONTROL RELAY switch.

DYSON
How do you set them off?

Terminator shows him a REMOTE DETONATOR, a small transmitter with a
red plunger.

TERMINATOR
Radio remote.

He makes a plunger-pushing motion with his thumb and an accompanying
"click" sound. Dyson nods.
Just then John comes running in, holding up the key.

JOHN
I got it. Piece of cake.
SARAH
(to Dyson and Terminator)
Go! I'll finish here.

They run out as the SOUND OF SIRENS grow louder outside.

TERMINATOR
I'll deal with the police.

JOHN
Remember what I said, you can't...

TERMINATOR
Trust me.

151 EXT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING

The security duo of Moshier and Gibbons cowers behind cars in the
parking lot in front of the building. They turns as L.A.P.D. BLACK-
AND-WHITES pour into the lot, turn the area into a disco of whirling
blue and red lights.

152 OMITTED

153 EXT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING

The cops are jumping from their cars and ducking behind them.
Emphasis on small arms here. Behind them an ugly BLACK SWAT VAN
screeches into the lot.

153A We hear the THUMP OF ROTORS as a POLICE CHOPPER arrives and swings in
close to the building. It rakes its XENON SPOTLIGHT through the
second floor offices.

154 INT./EXT. SECOND FLOOR OFFICE

Terminator crosses the office toward the floor-to-ceiling windows.
He is outlines starkly by the spotlight as it rakes through the dark
offices. Without breaking stride he kicks an executive desk toward
the window.
154A Glass explodes outward and the desk topples, falling to the sidewalk
below.

154B Terminator, standing at the edge, FIRES A LONG BURST with strafes the
police cars lines up below. Cops duck as glass flies. Terminator,
with his superb aim, hits no one. But noticed is served.

154C The cops (surprise) FIRE BACK. Terminator turns and is walking
calmly from the window as glass, office furniture, drapes etc. are
riddled by return fire. A few rounds hit his back, but he doesn't
notice. He reloads as he walks.

155 INT. VAULT ANTECHAMBER

TIGHT ON A KEY inserted into one of the vault locks.

WIDER as John and Dyson stand poised, hands on keys.
JOHN
And let's see what's behind door number one.

Dyson nods and they turns the keys together. The vault grumbles to
itself, withdrawing it locking bolts with a final KLONK!
Together Dyson and John swing the door open.

156 EXT./INT. LOBBY

The varsity takes the field as the SWAT TROOPERS sprint forward by
squads. They flank the lobby and work their way inside, deploying
rapidly. They move and freeze, behind cover, quivering with
adrenaline. They have all that great SWAT equipment: body armor,
gas-masks, M-16s, tear-gas launchers, ropes. The works. They make
a lot of hand signals and keep their mouths shut. They're well-
trained and deadly.

157 OUTSIDE we see cops firing TEAR GAS grenades through the broken
windows into second-floor offices.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Sarah, John, Terminator, and Dyson infiltrate Cyberdyne Systems to destroy the secret chip related to Skynet, and rig the lab with explosives while being pursued by the police.
Strengths "Intense action, exciting heist sequence, tension-building"
Weaknesses "Limited character development, predictable plot"
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I am not capable of determining what is good or bad. However, here are some observations of the scene:

- The scene effectively builds tension with the urgent dispatch message and the T-1000's swift action to leave and head to the Cyberdyne building.
- The high-tech pillage scene is visually interesting and adds to the stakes of the story, as the characters destroy expensive and irreplaceable technology.
- The use of different perspectives (John's access to the vault, Terminator and Dyson rigging explosives, the police outside) adds visual interest and keeps the scene moving.
- The SWAT troop description feels somewhat generic and could benefit from more specific details to distinguish them from other cinematic depictions of SWAT teams.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene could be to add more tension and urgency to the situation. The T-1000's actions could be more calculated and deliberate, showing its intelligence and strategic thinking. Additionally, the SWAT team's approach could be shown more in-depth, with a focus on their training and tactics to add to the realism of the situation. Finally, adding moments of character development for the main characters, such as Dyson or Sarah, could help to deepen the emotional impact of the scene and make the audience more invested in their actions.



Scene 32 -  The Final Showdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
158 INT. VAULT

John and Dyson are isolated from the world in this silent steel womb.
Dyson opens the cabinet containing the terminator relics. It's John
turn to stare with uneasy deja-vu as he sees the terminator hand and
CPU.

Then in one vicious move he sweeps his arm behind the inert-gas flasks
and hurls them to the floor. They SHATTER. John snatches the CPU
and the metal hand out of the broken glass.

JOHN
Got ol' Skynet by the ball now, Miles. Come
on, let's book!

Clutching the steel hand and pocketing the chip like it's a Mars bar
he just bought, John runs out. Dyson follows.

159 INT. FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR/STAIRWELL

We see the advance squad of SWATs make it to one of the stairwells.
They start up, two at a time, covering each other ritualistically by
the numbers.

160 INT. LAB/HALL

John pelts into the lab with Dyson stumbling along behind him.
Sarah is just finished wiring all the charges to the central
detonator.

JOHN
Ready to rock?

SARAH
Ready.
John tosses her the metal hand. She catches it and bends to put the
hand in her empty back-pack. Sarah zips the pack and starts to shuck
into it.

Dyson's running out of steam. The bandages at his shoulder are soaked
with seeping blood. He stands in the middle of the lab, saying
goodbye in his mind, looking weak and empty.
Terminator strides into the lab.

TERMINATOR
Time to go. Right now.

He and John head back the way they came, through security.
Sarah sees that in her work, she has set the detonator down twenty
feet away, near where Dyson is standing.

SARAH
Dyson, hand me the detonator. Let's go --

He gingerly picks up the detonator. Starts toward her. Then --
160A CRASH!! THE DOORS AT THE BACK END OF THE LAB ARE KICKED OPEN.
SWAT LEADER and two others OPEN FIRE.
Their M-16s rake the room. Sarah dives behind a computer cabinet.
Dyson is HIT. He is slammed to the floor by the impacts.

161 IN THE HALL, John hears the firing and spins to run back.

JOHN
Mommm!!!

Terminator grabs him as bullets slam into his broad back. He makes
it around the corner with John, out of the line of fire.

162 IN THE LAB, bullets rake over Sarah's head, smacking all around her,
clanging into the machine protecting her. She can see Dyson, slumped
on the floor. Debris and flying glass rain on her as the SWATs pour
on the fire. The detonator is clutched in his hand. He rolls to face
her, his eyes bulging from the pain of his torn-up guts.

DYSON
Go.

162A Sarah hesitates a split second. Then she snap-rolls and fast-crawls
through broken glass and debris into the hall where --

TERMINATOR grabs her by the jacket and hauls her roughly to her feet.
Bullets rake the walls behind them as they sprint forward. They
round the corner. John does a fast take that she's not hit and they
run together through the security checkpoint.

163 INT. SECURITY STATION/CORRIDOR

John reaches the first door, and tries it. Locked.
Terminator unslings the M-79 blooper smoothly, opening the breach.

TERMINATOR
Get back.
He pulls a grenade from the bandolier over his shoulder, and slides
it into the bore. Flick his wrist. The breech snaps shut. Sarah
and John have a split second to duck and cover.

TERMINATOR
Cover you ears and open you mouth.

163A They do. KABOOM!!! Twenty feet away the door, and half the wall
around it, EXPLODES outward. The backblast hits Terminator full
force, but he strides through the smoking hole before the debris has
even hit the floor.

164 OMITTED

165 INT. LAB

SWAT LEADER moves cautiously through the lab. Cat-stepping, he
circles around a desk which block Dyson's body from his view. His
M-16 is leveled crisply. We look over his shoulder as he rounds the
desk, revealing --

MILES DYSON is not dead. He will be very soon, but at this moment he
is conscious. He has propped himself up against the desk, and holds a
BOOK in one hand. A heavy technical manual.

Below the book is the detonator, upright on the tile floor.
The message is clear. "Shoot me, the book drops on the plunger.
Adios." Dyson wheezes, trying to draw enough breath to talk.

DYSON
I don't know... how much longer... I can...
hold this thing...

SWAT Leader seems to see the wires, the claymores, the gas cans all
around him for the first time. His eyes, visible through his gas-
mask, go very wide.
He spins and motions his squad back.

LEADER
Fall back!! Everybody out! Move it! OUT
NOW!

They retreat so fast they crash into the next group coming up the
stairs.

166 INT. CORRIDOR

Terminator reaches the main elevators. Hits the button. Sarah and
John are coughing and stumbling in the choking darkness, buddy-
breathing with the single mask. The doors open. They get in the
elevator and head down.

167 INT. LAB

Dyson is lying amid the ruins of his dreams. Sprawled on the floor,
he has his back propped up against the desk. He is bathed in his own
blood, which runs out in long fingers across the tiles. His breathing
is shallow and raspy. He still holds the book, trembling, above the
switch.

In his lap is the picture from his desk. He has pulled it from the
debris next to him. A tear trickles from his eye. His wife and
children smile up at him through broken glass.

168 OMITTED

169 CUT TO THE PUPIL OF HIS EYE, at the moment of death, the instant the
light fade from his eyes and he is gone --
His arm drops and the book his the switch --

170 EXT. BUILDING

As the face of the building EXPLODES in an eruption of glass and fire.
Remains of the second-floor windows shower the parking lot and a huge
fireball rolls out, leaping into the sky.
The cops look up, stunned. The helicopter banks away from the heat.
Burning debris falls among the cop cars and a number of officers
break ranks, pulling back.

171 ONLY ONE OF THEM seems to be moving with purpose. A BIKE COP who has
just arrived drives through the disorganized crowd, directly toward
the building.

171A T-1000 guns the bike up a ramp to a pedestrian bridge which crosses
from a parking structure to the Cyberdyne building. It enters on the
second floor, which is now a burning maze.

172 INT. SECOND FLOOR/OFFICE/CORRIDOR

T-1000 drives into the smoky wreckage. It draws a Hoechler and Koch
MPK machine pistol and cruises slowly into the firelit offices,
scanning.

172A IN THE CORRIDOR the bike skirts flaming wreckage as it idles forward.
T-1000 scans the leaping shadows for its prey.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The group infiltrates Cyberdyne Systems and sets explosives to destroy the secret chip related to Skynet, but they are pursued by SWATs. Dyson is fatally wounded and sacrifices himself to detonate the explosives. The T-1000 arrives at the scene.
Strengths "High stakes, intense action, character sacrifice, emotional impact"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue is a bit clunky"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. The action and tension build as the characters race against time to achieve their goal. The dialogue also effectively conveys the emotions and urgency of the situation.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon. The description of the action could be more concise and vivid to improve the pacing of the scene. Additionally, the character of Dyson could be more fully fleshed out to create greater emotional impact when he ultimately sacrifices himself.

Overall, though, the scene effectively advances the plot and builds toward the climax of the story.
Suggestions -Consider adding more descriptive language to create a more immersive environment for the audience, in particular describing the visuals of the scene.

-Consider giving Dyson a more impactful death, perhaps having him sacrifice himself in a more overtly heroic manner.

-Consider adding more tension to the scene by having the SWAT team and the T-1000 in pursuit, making it feel like the protagonists are constantly under threat.

-Consider adding more emotional weight to the scene, focusing on the relationships and feelings between the characters, particularly between Sarah and Dyson.



Scene 33 -  Escape from Cyberdyne
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
173 INT. GROUND FLOOR/ELEVATOR/LOBBY

The elevator doors part and Terminator eases a look out into the
corridor. The walls on either side of him ERUPT WITH BULLET HITS.
The SWATs have the lobby end of the corridor blocked off. They're
totally trapped, cut off and screwed.

JOHN
(to Sarah)
Don't forget. It's always darkness right
before... you're totally fucked.

173A The SWATs fire a tear-gas grenade toward the elevators. It spews the
vicious CS gas out in a swirling cloud which envelops Sarah and John,
who are pressed against the back wall of the elevator.
TERMINATOR
Keep your eyes closed. Don't move.
(they nod, eyes squeezed shut)
I'll be back.

He slings the grenade launcher over his shoulder and walks out into
the corridor.

173B BLAM. A tear-gas grenade ricochets from wall to wall as it flies down
the corridor. It skids to rest in front of Terminator, throwing out
a white cloud which quickly fills the corridor.
173C In the elevator, Sarah and John are choking, handing the breathing
mask back and forth desperately. They're scarred. This looks like
it.
173D ANGLE ON THE SWAT TEAM, gripping their weapons at the mouth of the
corridor. They watch the boiling cloud, waiting.

173E THEIR POV -- on the wall of boiling smoke. A FIGURE APPEARS. Walking
Totally unaffected. Terminator emerges from the smoke. Not even
misty-eyed. Not what they expected.

LEADER
(through megaphone)
Stop where you are. Lie down on the floor,
face down. Down on floor, now!

He continues to stride toward them.
The SWATs tense up. They've never seen anything like this. They're
not sure what to do. Closer and closer.

LEADER
Drop him.

They OPEN FIRE. The corridor is filled with CRACKING THUNDER. The
rounds tear into Terminator's chest. Stomach. Face. Thighs. His
leather jacket leaps and jerks as the rounds hit him. The SWATs
think the guy's wearing body armor or something. They keep firing.
The rounds tear into him, staggering him slightly, but he keeps
moving.

LEADER
You're not hitting him!

SWAT #1
(getting scared)
Yes I am!

Terminator draws his .45 smoothly. Unhurried. He shoots the nearest
man in the left thigh. As he screams and drops, Terminator shoots
him in the right thigh. Terminator bends down and picks up the
shrieking man's weapon... the TEAR-GAS LAUNCHER.

It is one of those new rotary jobs that hold 12 rounds in a big drum.
Terminator shoots the next SWAT in the chest with the tear-gas
launcher. The gas canister hits the guy's body armor and doesn't
penetrate. But it's like getting slugged in the stomach with a full-
swing from a baseball bat. The SWAT fold double and hits the tiles,
gasping.
Terminator is an image from Hell, a tall figure in shredded black
leather, streaked with blood. One eye is a bloody socket, the metal
eye-servo glistening. The flesh of one cheek hangs down in tatters,
revealing the chrome cheekbone beneath. The whole front of his
jacket is blown open, revealing his metal armor chest.

The remaining SWATs start to fall back. One turns to run and --
KPOW! A gas canister nail him in the back, sending him sprawling.

173F Terminator fires three gas canisters into the lobby. It fills
rapidly with the white gas, cutting the visibility to a few feet. It
is total pandemonium. SWAT LEADER crouches in the fog, white-
knuckling the rifle. Terminator looms suddenly out of the mist right
in front of him. POOM! Terminator drills him in the leg with the
.45. As the guy screams and drops rifle to clutch his leg, Terminator
rips his gas mask off. The SWAT leader drops writhing to the floor,
choking and gagging, clutching his bleeding thigh.

Terminator walks up to two SWATs at the front doors. POW-POW. Leg
and leg. He snatches their masks as they fall. The gunfire has
stopped. Nobody an see anything. Screams and whimpers echo in the
smoke.

174 EXT. BUILDING

Smoke boils out of the front door as a figure emerges. Firing the
tear-gas launcher with one hand, Terminator launches all remaining
rounds among the cop vehicles. Unprotected officers run, choking
and half-blind, slamming into cars and tripping over each other. It
is a total rout.

175 AT THE SWAT VAN on of the SWATs is rapidly handing out the remaining
masks to unprotected cops. A FIGURE appears out of the smoke beside
him. He looks up. His mask is ripped off and he is handed the empty
launcher. Instinctively he catches it. Terminator grabs his flak
vest with one hand and sails him out into the mist.

175A INT. SWAT VAN

Terminator strides the length of the van and climbs into the driver's
seat. No keys in the ignition. He flips down the sun visor. The
keys fall into his hand. He starts the van and slams it into gear.

176 INT./EXT. LOBBY

The tear gas has cleared to a thin haze. The uninjured SWATs are
tending their wounded. They look up at the sound of shouts and a
roaring engine.

176A THE SWAT VAN CRASHES INTO THE LOBBY in an explosion of glass and
debris. Cops scatter as the van screeches across the lobby in a
smoking one-eighty, sliding to a stop across the corridor which leads
to the bank of elevators. Terminator backs up until -- crunch -- he
seals the corridor with the back of the van.

176B Sarah and John stumble along the corridor, coughing.
They leap into the back of the van and Terminator hits the throttle.
The van roars across the lobby and exits through blown-out windows.
CUT TO:

177 INT./EXT SECOND FLOOR

T-1000, astride the Kawasaki, looks down from a second-floor office
and sees the van tearing across the parking lot with the remaining
cops firing at it. It knows. It looks around. Analyzing options.
It sees the helicopter hovering outside the building at the end of
this corner office block...
It twists full throttle on the powerful bike.
Roars through the office, accelerating fast, straight at the
windows --

178 T-1000 BLASTS OUT THROUGH THE GLASS, airborne on the motorcycle. It
rockets across the gap to the hovering chopper and --
178A SLAMS into the canopy. The impact of bike and rider pitches the
chopper radically. The startled PILOT fights to regain control as the
bike tumbles to the pavement below.
178B The T-1000 doesn't. It clings to the shattered canopy.
Nightmarishly, the pilot watches as the T-1000 smashes its head
through the plexiglass canopy and rapidly POURS ITSELF through the
jagged hole. It reforms instantly into its previous self on the
passenger seat.

178C It hurls the pilot out of the chopper and slides into the driver's
seat.
The chopper is auto-rotating, spinning out of control. It drops
toward the parking lot. T-1000 recovers control ten feet above the
ground.

178D Cops hits the deck as the tail-boom swings around, going over them by
inches.
The chopper lifts out in a power climb, roaring away across the
parking lot toward the fleeing SWAT van.

OKAY, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, HERE IT COMES...
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The group is cornered in Cyberdyne and must fight their way out against the SWATs. Terminator proves to be unstoppable despite taking multiple hits. They manage to escape in a stolen SWAT van, but T-1000 follows them in a stolen police helicopter.
Strengths "Great action set pieces and tension-building. Terminator's stoic and invincible demeanor is thrilling."
Weaknesses "Some of the SWATs come off as a bit generic."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and fast-paced, which matches the tone of the film. The action is intense and the stakes are high, which keeps the audience engaged. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

First, the dialogue from John feels a bit forced and cliché. While it's meant to add some humor, it comes across as cheesy and doesn't quite fit with the rest of the scene.

Another issue is that some of the action is not entirely clear, particularly in the part where Terminator is firing the tear-gas launcher. It's not always clear who he is shooting at and what the impact is.

Overall, though, the scene is effective in building tension and showcasing the capabilities of the Terminator character. It's a solid action sequence that keeps the audience engaged.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is already action-packed and intense. However, there are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Create more tension and build up to the SWATs' confrontation with the Terminator. This could be accomplished by having the SWATs' footsteps and voices echo menacingly down the hallway before they come into view, or by having the Terminator's intense gaze indicate the danger that is about to unfold.

2. Add more clarity to the action. While the scene is full of action, it can be difficult to follow exactly what is happening at certain points. Adding more description and detail to the action could help the audience better understand the sequence of events.

3. Build up the confrontation between the Terminator and the SWAT team. Rather than having the Terminator quickly dispatch the team with ease, make the SWATs put up more of a fight. This will create a greater sense of danger and anticipation.

4. Consider adding more emotional stakes for Sarah and John. While they are present in the scene, they do not play a significant role in the action. Adding in a moment where their lives are in danger or they must make a difficult decision could improve the overall tension of the scene.

5. Consider the pacing of the scene in relation to the rest of the film. As scene 33 out of 38, it may benefit from being trimmed down slightly to maintain the overall momentum of the story.



Scene 34 -  Escape and Attack
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
179 INT./EXT. SWAT VAN/HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Terminator looks back at his two passengers as he turns the boxy van
onto a divided highway. Sarah and John are catching their breath,
still coughing from the CS gas. Terminator look to the rear-view
mirror. He sees the xenon searchlight of the chopper behind them,
gaining.

Sarah looks around the inside of the SWAT van. It is a rolling
armory. There are rifles, ballistic vests, all manner of equipment.

SARAH
John, get under these. Hurry!

He sits against the front bulkhead of the van and she pile bullet-
proof vests on top of him, completely covering him. Then she grabs
two M-16s from the wall-rack and loads them. She starts on a shotgun
as --

180 The SWAT van weaves through sparse traffic at high speed.
Terminator slews the unstable van around cars and trucks which seem to
be crawling. The van hits it top speed of eighty. They swerve to
miss the back end of A WHITE 18-WHEEL TANKER.

180A The chopper swings in behind them, closing fast.

180B T-1000 reaches through the shattered canopy with the MPK machine
pistol and FIRES. The back of the can CLANGS WITH HITS. The door
windows are BLOWN IN.

Terminator weaves the van, trying to throw off the T-1000's aim.
The unstable vehicle screeches and wobbles on the edge of control.
One of the doors is kicked open. Sarah, wearing a ballistic vest,
crouches in the doorway, whipping up the M-16. SHE OPENS FIRE.

180C Bullets riddle what's left of the chopper's canopy as the T-1000
returns fire.
The van is stitched with hits.

180D INSIDE THE VAN holes are punched through the thin sheet-metal walls,
ripping up the interior. The vests covering John are hit repeatedly.
We see that Sarah has hung two Kevlar vests on the inside of the back
door and she ducks behind these as bullets hit around her. She pops
back out and fires in controlled bursts. The M-16 empties and she
grabs another.

180E Terminator serves around a car which is changing lanes, hitting it
and knocking it skidding.

181 OMITTED

181A Sarah reloads and keeps firing. The van swerves around a Toyota. A
moment later the helicopter passes it, the rotor just clearing the top
of the car.

181B T-1000 FIRES the machine pistol.
181C Sarah has popped out to fire. She takes a HIT in the thigh, and
several rounds hammer into her Kevlar vest. She is thrown back onto
the floor of the van. She lies there, an exposed target...

181D Terminator sees the T-1000 preparing to fire again.
He locks up the van's brakes. Tires scream as the vehicle shimmies.
Sarah is thrown forward, sliding up to the bulkhead next to John.
182 And the helicopter SLAMS RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF THE VAN.
The rotor disintegrates. The back doors of the van are crushed in as
the canopy, the whole front of the fuselage is HAMMERED INTO JUNK,
trapping the T-1000 inside the twisted metal. The chopper hits the
pavement, flips, sideways, and cartwheels... smashing itself into a
shapeless mass of twisted metal.
It falls away behind the van, tumbling end over end.

182A Terminator fights to control the van, which is fishtailing violently
from the impact. It smashes up against the center divider, screeching
along the concrete, and then pulls away. Terminator puts the hammer
down and the van accelerates. He swerves to avoid an UGLY PICKUP
crawling like a snail ahead.

THE RIGHT FRONT FENDER of the van, crumpled by slamming the wall, is
sawing into the tire. The tire blows and peels off the clean rim.
The steel wheel grinds across the pavement, striking trails of sparks,
and the van slides sideways and topples --
STEEL SCREAMS on pavement as the van grinds to a stop on its side.

182B INSIDE THE VAN, John crawls to Sarah, who is groaning and holding her
bleeding leg. She is white and shocky. Terminator starts to
extricate himself from the crumpled driver's seat.

183 BACK DOWN THE ROAD, THE HELICOPTER wreckage is a crumpled ball of junk
metal, unrecognizable. Behind it, the TANKER TRUCK brakes hard,
shuddering and groaning, trying to stop. The big tires lock up in
clouds of tire-smoke. The rig comes to a shuddering stop just short
of the wrecked chopper.

183A The shaken DRIVER jumps down.
The behind the wreckage a cop emerges, walking toward him.

DRIVER
Goddamn, are you alri --

183B SSSHHCK! T-1000 drives a blade through the man's abdomen and walks
on past without slowing, or even looking at him.

183C It climbs into the open cab of the tanker. Releases the brake.
As the truck bellows are rolls forward we see the large blue letters
on the side which say "CRYOCO INC. LIQUID NITROGEN SUPPLY'.

184 AT THE SWAT VAN John and Terminator are carrying Sarah out of the
wreck. Terminator has the M-79 slung over his shoulder, the
bandolier of grenades, and his .45 stuck in his waistband. John has
borrowed a 12-GAUGE RIOT GUN from the SWATs.

184A The pickup they passes seconds earlier pulls up to them. The DRIVER,
A Hispanic guy in his 50's, is getting out to help them. Terminator
and John hear a CRASH and look back as the
185 helicopter wreckage is knocked aside by the accelerating tanker truck.

186 JOHN
Holy shit. Come on, Mom... we gotta keep
moving... come on --

TERMINATOR
(to the pickup owner)
We need your truck.

The guy seems to know better than to try and stop him as Terminator
slides Sarah into the front seat and climbs in behind the wheel. John
runs to the passenger side.

187 THE TANKER ROARS, spewing smoke from its chrome stacks as it shifts
up through the gears.

188 Terminator slams the pickup in gear, checking the rear-view. The
tanker is a hundred feet behind them now, and really moving.
Terminator puts the throttle down, but the pickup is and old slug
loaded down by a heavy home-made wooden camper-shell. It accelerates
slowly.
189 THE TANKER slams into one end of the SWAT van, spinning it out of the
way with a roar and screech of twisting metal. The 18-wheeler shifts
to a higher gear, still accelerating.

190 INT./EXT. PICKUP TRUCK

With the tanker right behind them, Terminator cuts the wheel, swerving
the pickup back and forth across the lanes.
The big rig stays right on them, it tanker whiplashing violently.

JOHN
Faster! He's right on us!

Terminator doesn't reply. He rapidly unslings the blooper, still
around his neck, and reaches for a grenade.

191 LOW ANGLE ON THE TRACTOR-TRAILER as it roars right up to the lens,
filling frame with chrome and lights.

191A K-WHAM!! It rams the backs of the pickup, sending it skidding.

191B Then the T-1000 pulls the tractor trailer up alongside the pickup and
crabs over, sandwiching it against the center divider. The spinning
chrome hubs tear into the passenger side door and the guard rail
screeches along the other side.

The pickup bucks and shakes insanely. It ricochets violently between
the big-rig and the divider
Horrible SCREECH of tortured steel.
Sparks pour in sheets of fire from both sides.
The windshield shatters as the door-posts buckle in.
Metal and glass shower in through the side windows.
The frame twists and buckles. John feels like the fillings are being
shaken right out of his teeth.
The wooden camper disintegrates, falling away as kindling behind
them.

191C INT. TANKER CAB

T-1000 holds the wheel hard over, mercilessly grinding the pickup.
The whole rig jerks and shakes with the violence of the sustained
hammering.
Genres: ["action","sci-fi"]

Summary The group flees Cyberdyne in a SWAT van, while being pursued by the police and T-1000. They engage in a high-speed chase, with Sarah and Terminator fighting back against T-1000's attacks. The chase ends in a brutal collision and showdown with T-1000
Strengths "Intense action scenes and high stakes showdown with T-1000."
Weaknesses "Minimal character development and dialogue."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and intense, showcasing a high-speed chase and action-packed shootout. The use of details, such as the rolling armory in the SWAT van and the specific weaponry used, adds a layer of realism and specific texture to the scene. The tension is well-built throughout, with the constantly evolving situation and the increasing danger from the T-1000.

One potential critique is that the action can at times be difficult to visually follow, with the multiple vehicles and changing positions. Some clearer visual indicators or descriptions of spatial relations could improve the readability of the scene.

Overall, however, the scene is well-paced and exciting, effectively ramping up the stakes for the characters and keeping the audience engaged.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more character development and emotional tension. While the action and intensity of the scene is certainly there, the audience needs to care about the characters in order for it to be truly impactful. Maybe add in some dialogue between Sarah, John, and the Terminator, giving them more depth and allowing the audience to connect with their struggles. Additionally, adding in some foreshadowing or setup earlier in the film can make the scene feel more earned and impactful. Finally, consider pacing and editing the scene in a way that builds tension and suspense rather than simply bombarding the audience with action.



Scene 35 -  High-Speed Chase and Showdown with T-1000
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
191D INT./EXT. PICKUP

Terminator slides toward the passenger side. Keeping his foot on the
gas he lifts John over him and puts him in the driver's seat.

TERMINATOR
Drive for a minute.

JOHN
Where you going?!

Terminator slams the shattered windshield with the palm of his hand.
Held together by the plastic laminate, the windshield flops out of its
frame. It flies over the top of the truck.
191E Terminator pushes his upper body out over the dashboard and stands up.
He turns and aims the M-79 one-handed.
191F POOM! The grenade misses the T-1000 by less than a foot. It EXPLODES
against the front bulkhead of the tanker, almost at the top. Liquid
nitrogen pours from the opening, swept back by the 60-mph windstream.

191G The big-rig swerves as T-1000 regains control. The tanker swings like
a pendulum behind the cab.

191H The pickup accelerates, getting back out in front by a few yards.
Behind it the big-rig is trailing a swirling comet-tail of nitrogen
vapor. It is gaining again.

Terminator, still standing, opens the breech and starts to reload.
191I John cuts across the highway and takes an OFF RAMP.

191J T-1000 swerves the smoking behemoth across the lanes and down the
ramp after him, still accelerating. It is twenty feet behind them
and closing when Terminator closes the breech and FIRES.

191K The grenade hits the front grill and EXPLODES.
The radiator is destroyed, along with half the hood. Steam blasts
out, obscuring the whole front of the truck.

191L The semi rams the back of the pickup again. Spewing smoke and vapor
like some demon locomotive, the tractor-trailer pounds into the back
of the pickup. Driving it right through the intersection at the
bottom of the ramp, and straight toward --

EXT. STEEL MILL

The chase has led them to an area of heavy industry.

192 THE GATES are blasted off their hinges as the semi rams the pickup
right through them. Terminator struggles to reload amid the chaos
and impacts. He has THREE GRENADES LEFT on the bandolier.

John isn't even steering. They are just being pushed. There's
nothing he can do. They are rocketing down the broad thoroughfare
which leads directly to the MAIN BUILDING of the plant.

192A Terminator pulls himself onto the roof of the pickup.
He leaps to the bed, takes two powerful strides and --
Leaps onto the semi. He climbs rapidly onto the hood.
192B And FIRES POINT BLANK THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD.
Right into T-1000's face.
The EXPLOSION blows out all the glass and fills the cab with smoke
and fire Terminator grabs onto the air-horn as the truck starts to
SHUDDER AND
192C SCREAM. IT IS JACK-KNIFING.
Almost dream-slow the cab begins to swing sideways, until its tires
are shrieking over the pavement. The tractor is smashed back at
right-angles to the tanker-trailer which begins to slide broadside.

192D The juggernaut bucks and shudders as the tires and smoke sideways
across the pavement.
It begins to topple.
Terminator hold on as the side of cab becomes the top.
With an unholy scream, like the unoiled hubs of Hell, the whole rig
slides on its side at 60 mph toward the steel mill. A sheet of sparks
sixty feet wide trails behind it on the pavement.

192E John sees what's behind him, then snaps around to see the building
looming right in front. The huge rolling doors are partly open.
No choice.
He steers right through them into the mill, as --

192F Terminator, with one second to go, leaps from the cab --
He flies through the open doors as --
The tanker hits the building and --
Genres: ["Action","Science Fiction"]

Summary The group flees Cyberdyne in a stolen SWAT van and engages in a high-speed chase with the police and T-1000, which ends in a brutal collision and showdown at a steel mill.
Strengths "Intense action and thrilling chase scene with high stakes; strong visual effects and cinematography"
Weaknesses "Limited character development and dialogue"
Critique Overall, this scene is a well-written, action-packed sequence that is sure to keep the audience on the edge of their seats. The pacing is excellent, keeping the tension high throughout, and the use of descriptive language paints a vivid picture of the chaos unfolding onscreen.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon. For example, the dialogue is fairly functional and could benefit from more characterization. Additionally, the action is very intense, and it may be difficult to follow all of the details onscreen. It might be beneficial to slow down some of the action and provide more context to help the audience understand what's happening.

Overall, though, this scene showcases the strengths of a great action sequence, with high stakes, tight pacing, and powerful visuals.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but here are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Develop the characters' emotions and thoughts: While there is action and dialogue in this scene, there is not much insight into the characters' emotions or thoughts. Specifically, it would be interesting to know how John feels about the situation - is he scared, brave, or both? Is Terminator feeling confident in his mission or worried about the T-1000?

2. Use more descriptive language: There are a lot of explosions and action in this scene, but the language used to describe them could be more vivid and specific. For example, instead of "Almost dream-slow the cab begins to swing sideways," the description could be more dynamic and specific, like "The cab tips and swings violently to the side, tires shrieking over the pavement."

3. Clarify the geography: It's not always clear where the vehicles are in relation to each other and their surroundings. Adding a bit more detail about the distance between the pickup and the big-rig, the layout of the highway, and the location of the steel mill could help readers better visualize the action.

4. Vary sentence structure: There are a lot of short, declarative sentences in this scene, which can create a fast-paced feeling, but can also become repetitive. Mixing in some longer, more complex sentences can help vary the rhythm and keep readers engaged.



Scene 36 -  Showdown at the Steel Mill
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
193 INT. STEEL MILL/MAIN AISLE

Terminator slams to the floor of the mill and rolls, as --
The tanker-trailer smashed into a massive concrete support at one side
of the doors. Thunderous carnage of twisting metal. o
193A It splits wide open. A river of liquid nitrogen pours out at -230.

193B John hits the brakes, sliding out of control. He slows almost to a
stop but hits a steel support column head-on. He and Sarah are
slammed forward, hard.

193C Terminator, still clutching the M-79 blooper, rolls and slides across
the floor.
He smashes through a railing and slams up against the base of a
massive machine.

193D The semi cab swings about the trailer wreckage, into the building, and
shudders to a stop. Liquid nitrogen sprays over the cab, flooding out
around it in a HISSING WAVEFRONT OF ULTRACOLD.
Freezing vapor swirls everywhere, obscuring the wreck.

193E TERMINATOR lies still. A beat. Then he rolls weakly, rising on one
elbow to survey the scene.

193F IN THE WRECKED PICKUP, John stirs. He is stunned, and blood runs from
his nose. Dazed, he realizes he is in a steel mill. There are
sirens, and he can see men running... shouting. He turns and sees
what they are running from...

193G The wall of nitrogen vapor spreads from the demolished tanker. It is
a strange vista of fire and ice. The huge SMELTERS pour out orange
light and fire from the sides of the huge galley, while the freezing
vapor rolls down the center.

193H TIGHT ON THE WRECK. A billowing gray cloud. Deep inside, the shape
of the cab in visible. A FIGURE emerges, pulling itself out. It
drops to the floor. The hissing, boiling river of liquid nitrogen
flows around its feet.

194 The T-1000 staggers, moving slowly, painfully. It has finally been
affected by something. Its feet are freezing to the ground as it
walks...

194A CLINK! One of its feet breaks off at a glassy angle. It stumbles
forward, and --
194B Its other foot snaps off. As it catches its balance on the stump of
its other ankle,
194C the whole lower leg shatters at the impact. It topples forward to its
knees.
Catches itself on one hand. Liquid nitrogen flows around the hand.

Now the hand is stuck to the pavement.
194D The T-1000 pulls and... CLINK! The hand snaps off at the wrist.
It looks stupidly at the glassy stump of a wrist. For the first time
we see an expression on its face we know to be a true one...
The expression is pain. Agony. Its mouth opens in a soundless
scream as the hoar-frost races up its legs, across its body.
194E And that's the position it freezes in.
It has become a statue, kneeling in the frozen vapor, that surprised
look of agony frozen on its face.

The liquid nitrogen stops flowing and begins to evaporate.
194F Terminator, just beyond the boundary of the cold, can see the T-1000
clearly.
He draws his .45 and aims.

TERMINATOR
Hasta la vista, baby.

194G K-POW! The single shot blows the T-1000 into a million diamonds
spraying up into the air. They shimmer across the ground for twenty
feet in all directions.
Terminator lowers the gun, satisfied.
He looks like he needs a vacation.

195 JOHN AND SARAH have seen it from the pickup. She is in bad shape.
Conscious but very weak. He tries the door. It's jammed. He kicks
it open.

JOHN
Okay, Mom, we gotta get out now, come on.
That's it.

He helps her slide down from the seat of the truck. Her knees give
way. John has to take a lot of her weight. He reaches in and picks
up the riot gun off the seat. They hobble toward --

195A TERMINATOR. On his knees, he looks into the dissipating cloud of
vapor. The heat of the furnaces has evaporated all the liquid
nitrogen.

196 INSERT, TIGHT ON THE FLOOR - the T-1000 shards are melting,
liquefying. Hundreds of drops of mercury, spattered across the floor.
Orange light of the enormous black-furnaces dances on liquid metal.

197 TERMINATOR struggles to rise. One arm is shattered, the hand smashed
and useless. And some leg-servos are damaged. He can barely stand.
John and Sarah arrive.

TERMINATOR
We don't have much time.
JOHN
What?

Terminator points. John and Sarah watch as --

198 INSERT, T-1000 DROPLETS are creeping together. Fusing into larger
blobs. These pools shiver and run together, soon forming a central
mass.

199 ON JOHN AND SARAH, realizing it's not over.

JOHN
Come on! Let's go!

Terminator gets one of Sarah's arms over his shoulder and they go.
BEHIND THEM, something is moving.
200 A HEAD is forming up out of a pool mercury. it rises, as shoulders
form. hunching up from the liquid mass. Half-formed, it turns to
look straight at them.

John looks back in new terror as --

The T-1000 rises to man-height. It is still in mercury form, but its
features are forming rapidly. It takes its first step after them.
Sarah stumbles and they pull her up.
201 Terminator himself has a pronounces limp, dragging one leg with a
shattered ankle joint. John's the one pulling, straining, driving
them forward. They round a corner into --

202 INT. AISLE BETWEEN FURNACES

It is a maze of monstrous machinery. The heat is tremendous.
The air shivers with a pounding roar.
Sarah cries out in pain and stumbles again.

JOHN
Come on, Mom, you can do it! Come on!!

They drag her up, and stagger on. Her leg is bathed in blood and she
is deathly pale. He looks back.

203 INT, MAIN GALLERY

The T-1000 steps INTO FRAME. Fully formed. The hell-fire light
glints on its impassive cop face. It walks forward. At first it
seems unaffected by its crystallization but --

203A ANGLE ON ITS HAND as it touches a railing in passing. The railing is
covered with O.S.H.A. yellow-and-black safety tape.
The hand turns yellow and black, the color fading to normal by about
the elbow. It rips the hand from the railing with difficulty. There
is a sound like adhesive tape ripping off a surface.

203B The T-1000 looks at its yellow-and-black striped hand. It wills the
hand back to normal. We see ripples of "static" or system noise
moving subtly over the surface of its body. It's starting to
"glitch".
203C TRACKING WITH THE T-1000'S FEET. With each step, the pattern on the
tile floor "invades" its lower legs. Fades as the foot is lifted.
Returns as it is set down. The foot is trying to meld with the floor.
The chameleonic function is out of control.
The T-1000 is losing it. It moves forward, searching. It rounds the
corner, entering the aisle between the furnaces.
Genres: ["Action","Science Fiction"]

Summary The group's escape plan following an explosive confrontation with SWATs and the destruction of the Skynet chip leads to a high-speed chase and a brutal showdown with the T-1000 at a steel mill.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Strong tension
  • Character sacrifice
Weaknesses
  • Some cliche dialogue
Critique This scene is well-written, with clear and concise action descriptions. The use of visual imagery creates an intense and dramatic atmosphere. The tension and danger are well-established, with the liquid nitrogen and T-1000 posing a significant threat to the characters. The dialogue is minimal but effective. However, one possible critique is that the scene could benefit from some characterization or emotional depth, perhaps through internal monologue or more personal interactions between the characters. Overall, though, it is a strong and engaging scene.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and visually engaging. Here are a few suggestions for improvements:

1. Increase the stakes: While the physical action is intense, it would be helpful to remind the audience of the larger stakes at play. Perhaps some dialogue between the characters could help reinforce why it's so important that they make it out alive.

2. Provide more specificity: When describing the machinery, it might be helpful to provide more specific details so that the audience can more easily imagine the setting. For example, are there giant vats of molten steel nearby? Conveying these details will add to the tension of the scene.

3. Vary sentence structure: The action in this scene is exciting, but a lot of the sentences follow a similar structure ("The ______ (object) does ______ (action)"). Varying sentence structure by using different verbs and sentence lengths can keep the scene engaging and help it flow more smoothly.

4. Balance action with character development: While the action is exciting, don't forget to continue developing the characters as they encounter new challenges. Adding small moments of character reflection or interaction can make the scene more emotionally resonant and help keep the audience invested in the characters' success.



Scene 37 -  The Final Showdown
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
204 INT. AISLE

Terminator sees the SILHOUETTE closing on them through the smoky
gleam. The T-1000 breaks into loping run when it sees them,
Terminator turns to Sarah over John.

TERMINATOR
Keep going.

John shakes his head no. The T-1000 is almost on them.

TERMINATOR
RUN!

John runs, dragging, half-carrying Sarah as best he can.
She can barely stay conscious. Half-running, delirious, she stumbles
and drops to her knees. John pulls but she can't rise.

JOHN
(crying, shouting)
Come on, you gotta try... please, Mom. Get up!

John looks back to see --

204A TERMINATOR trying to load the M-79. With his shattered hand, he can
barely maneuver is last grenade into the breech.
T-1000 smacks the weapon out of his hands. It clatters to the floor.

The grenade spins across the floor, rolling under some machinery.
Terminator lunges, slamming the T-1000 against a wall with all his
weight. The battle is joined.

204B JOHN AND SARAH have reached the back of the aisle. It is a cul-de-
sac, blocked on the end by the base of an IMMENSE SMELTER CRUCIBLE.
They turn to watch the titans battle in silhouette, backlit by the
molten sparks falling from the furnaces above. The battle which will
decide their fate.

204C Terminator grabs the T-1000 and hurls it with awesome force against
the opposite wall of the narrow alley. In less time than it would
take to turn, the
204D T-1000 morphs trough itself, front to back... face emerging from the
back of its head.
204E It comes off the wall straight at Terminator, who smashes his good
fist into its face. The pile-driver blow buries Terminator's fist
almost to the elbow.

204F But the T-1000's head morphs in a split-second into a hand which grips
Terminator's wrist, and the head "emerges" somewhere else, the
geometry shifting faster than we can follow.
204G The T-1000 slams Terminator into a large machine, jamming his arm into
the moving works. A massive sliding bar SCISSORS HIS ARM, smashing it
into junk at the elbow, pinning him in the machine.

Terminator strains against the machine pinning him. We hear his
servos whining with overload. The T-1000 turns and lopes toward Sarah
and John.

Sarah screams and hurls John into a gap between the machines. He
falls into a maze of pipes and girders.

205 INT. MAZE OF MACHINES

JOHN turns to see her in the entrance of the narrow gap. She could
follow him but she doesn't. SUDDENLY a dark mass moves toward him.
John gasps as a huge steel counterweight, driven by a chain 6 inches
thick, slides toward him. He rolls out of the way. When he looks
back, he cannot see the opening.

JOHN
Mom! MOMMM!!

206 INT. AISLE BETWEEN FURNACES

TERMINATOR strains to reach a 6-foot steel bar lying near him. Steel
workers use them to move the red-hot ingots around. He gets hold of
the end and uses it as a lever. With titanic effort he spreads the
massive components which are holding him, and withdraws him arm, which
is severed at the elbow. Dangling junk hands from the crushed joint.

207 SARAH has lost sight of John. It is much of a goodbye as they will
have.
She turns as the T-1000 closes on her. She is half-slumped against
the sooty machines, looking barely conscious. She struggles to load
a shell into the empty weapon. At the last instant she whips up the
RIOT GUN and FIRES.

A207 T-1000's face is blown open, but quickly reforms as it closes on her.
She fumbles to get another shell into the magazine but --
A208 THUNK! A steel needle slams through her shoulder, pinning her.
The polymorphic killer cocks back its other hand. The index finger
extends as a gleaming needle, toward her eye --

T-1000
Call to John. Now.

207C WHAM!! SOMETHING whistles down on the T-1000 with such force that is
cleaves it head and body in two down to the naval. The 6-foot steel
bar is imbedded in its body. Terminator hurls the killer off Sarah.

207D The T-1000 pulls the steel shaft out of itself and attacks him with
fury.
Swinging again and again. Hammering Terminator back. Terminator
falls back against the wall.

Behind the T-1000 is an enormous I-beam, hanging from two chains. It
is used to lift ingots into the smelters, and it runs on a linear
track.
207E The T-1000 grabs the I-beam and rolls it down the track. Straight at
Terminator. The two-ton girder smashes into his chest, crushing the
armor.
The T-1000 pulls the I-beam back, and then heaves it forward again.
Terminator turns and takes the second blow on the shoulder. We hear
metal crush and break inside him. He sags, turning to grip the
wall...
The third blow slams into his back, smashing his spine and pelvis. We
hear servos ratcheting and failing. He drops to his knees, crucified
on a wall of machinery.
The fourth blow is centered between his shoulder blades. Sound of
crushing metal. His skull is partially caved in.
He slides to the floor.

207F ON THE T-1000, emotionless as it walks forward.

207G TERMINATOR is a pathetic shape on the floor. He is trying to crawl,
feebly.
Dragging his malfunctioning legs behind the crushed spine. His arm
stump screeches on the tile floor as he inches himself forward. His
exposed machine eye burns red with determination.

We see his prize. He has the M-79, with the breech still open,
cradled in the crook of his ruined arm. He good hand, the exposed
steel one, is reaching for the last grenade, which is visible under
the skirt of the massive smelter base. His metal fingers reach out
for it as --

207H The T-1000 raises the heavy steel bar over his head and stabs it down
with unbelievable force. It punches into Terminator's back, through a
gap in the shattered armor. The T-1000 levers it back and forth,
widening the hole. Then is raises the pointed bar again and slams it
down.
It punches right through. Emerging from Terminator's chest.
And into the floor. He is pinioned. The cyborg sags face down and
stop moving. The light goes out of his eye.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["action","sci-fi"]

Summary The group faces off against T-1000 in a brutal battle at a steel mill, with Terminator ultimately sacrificing himself to save Sarah and John.
Strengths "Intense action and suspense, strong character arcs, memorable finale."
Weaknesses "Dialogue can be somewhat repetitive and cliched."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and expertly crafted in terms of the action and tension. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue could benefit from a bit more depth. While the characters are in a high-intensity situation, adding some emotional depth to their words could draw the audience in even further.

Secondly, there could be more description of the setting and visuals. While there are some great moments of imagery (such as the molten sparks falling from the furnaces), further images could enhance the scene even more.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more clarity in terms of the character's movements and positions. It can be hard to visualize exactly what's happening at times, and more specific descriptions could alleviate this.

Overall, though, this scene is a great example of an action-packed sequence loaded with tension and high stakes.
Suggestions First of all, the action is well-written and the stakes are high. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved:

1. Clarify the setting: While the setting is described as an aisle, it's unclear where the characters are within the larger context of the facility. Adding more descriptive details about the surrounding machines, the sounds, and smells will help the audience better visualize the scene.

2. Show Sarah's strength: Despite being injured and barely conscious, Sarah is shown struggling to load a shell into the empty weapon. However, it would be great to see her fight back more against the T-1000 before she gets pinned down.

3. Provide more emotional context: The emotional stakes of the scene are high - this battle will decide the fates of the main characters - but there could be more emotional weight added to the characters' actions. For example, John's crying and shouting should be more specific - what is he feeling at that moment? What is driving him to try and get his mother to stand up? Similarly, Sarah's decision not to follow John into the maze of machines could be presented as a heartbreaking choice, underscoring the sacrifice she's making for her son.

4. Make the fight scene more dynamic: The fight between Terminator and the T-1000 is intense, but it could be made more interesting by varying the types of attacks they use. For example, the T-1000 could be shown using its shape-shifting abilities to throw Terminator off balance, while Terminator could use more unconventional weapons - like using the steel bar as a battering ram - to even the odds.

Overall, this scene has potential but could be improved by adding more descriptive details and emotional context to the characters' actions, and making the fight scene more dynamic.



Scene 38 -  The Showdown at the Steel Mill
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 8
208 INT. MAZE OF MACHINERY

John scuttles like a rat through the gut of the smelter. Above him,
vast machines churn untended. He hears a voice... SARAH'S
Calling low and urgent to him.

SARAH
John? John? Can you hear me? Where are you?

208A He crawls out of the shadows.
Onto a landing next to one of the SMELTER CRUCIBLES. Molten steel
glows bright orange in the crucible of the furnace. Heat shimmers
the air, giving everything a hallucinatory quality.

John sees Sarah nearby, limping toward him. She can barely move, her
leg bathed in blood. He runs toward her.
SARAH
(gasping)
Help me, honey...

TIGHT ON SARAH, her stoic face, as she hobbles forward, reaching out
to him. Something rises behind her, OUT OF FOCUS.

209 ANOTHER, IDENTICAL, SARAH... but this one has a shotgun.
Aimed right at us.

209A JOHN freezes. Which is which? He looks down. The first Sarah's
feet are melded with the floor, sucking and fusing with the tiles as
she walks. They have the color and pattern of the tiles up to the
knee.

SARAH
John, get out of the way!!

JOHN
(screaming)
SHOOT!!!!

209B John dives aside. The Sarah-form spins, changing into you-know-who.
Sarah starts unloading the shotgun into it. BOOM! It staggers back.
K-CHAK. She chambers another round. BOOM! It staggers again.
K-CHAK. BOOM! And again. And again.

209C The T-1000 is blown back a step and Sarah advances with each shot.
The craters in the T-1000's body "heal" slowly. Its power is waning.
She FIRES again. And again. Her eyes blazing with feral intensity.
She walks it back, right to the edge of the pit of MOLTEN STEEL.

K-CHAK... CLICK. She's empty. The T-1000 is right at the edge. In a
second it will recover its composure, as its crater hits close slowly.
She has failed. Now it will kill them both,
Except...

210 CLOSEUP TERMINATOR, as the chain drive brings it into view.
Half human flesh, half chrome steel.
His red eye gazes right at us as he --
FIRES.

210A The T-1000 takes the round in the belly. The grenade EXPLODES inside
its body. A huge hole is blown clean through it, and it is ripped
open and peeled back, half inside-out. It topples into the molten
steel and --

211 The T-1000's head and upper body reappear above the molten steel.
It is screaming. A terrifying, inhuman siren of a scream.
It is changing, morphing, transforming into anything and everything
it's ever been so rapidly the eye can barely follow it --
We catch a glimpse of Janelle Voight checkered with the linoleum tile
colors, Lewis the Guard with knives exploding from his face, other
faces, switching at a stroboscopic rate now... a face every two frames
until they merge into one face --
The T-1000 screams and slips beneath the surface of the molten steel.
We see liquid silver running in dissipating whorls over the
superheated surface... until it vanishes, swirling into nothing.

212 JOHN runs to Sarah. She stands staring into the pit. The empty
shotgun slips from her fingers. Clatters to the floor. He sees that
she's okay and he runs to the fallen Terminator.

212A The crippled cyborg is trying to rise. Its servos whine and stutter.
It pathetically lifts itself to a kneeling position, collapses...
tries again.
John lifts for all he's worth. Sarah joins them, helping.
The help the crippled machine get on its feet. It can barely stand.

TERMINATOR
I need a vacation.

They walk to the edge of the pit. Terminator looks down and sees
that it is over.

JOHN
(to Terminator)
Is it dead?

TERMINATOR
Terminated.

John unzips Sarah's backpack and takes out the hand of the first
terminator.

JOHN
Will it melt in there?

TERMINATOR
Yes. Throw it in.

He does. It sinks into the lava. Vanishes.

TERMINATOR
And the chip.

John takes it out of his pocket. Looks at it. Tosses it into the
smelter.

SARAH
It's finally over.

TERMINATOR
No. There is another chip.

He touches a metal finger to the side of his head.

TERMINATOR
And it must be destroyed also.

John suddenly understands what he means.
Terminator looks at Sarah. They both know what must be done.
John shakes his head.
JOHN
No!

TERMINATOR
I'm sorry, John.

JOHN
No, no no!! It'll be okay. Stay with us!

TERMINATOR
I have to go away, John.

JOHN
Don't do it. Please... don't go --

Tears are streaming down his face.

TIGHT CLOSEUP TERMINATOR, turning toward John.
The human side of his face is in shadow, so we see mostly the chrome
skull and the red eye.

TERMINATOR
It must end here... or I am the future.

JOHN
I order you not to!

Terminator puts his hand on John's shoulder. He moves slightly and
the human side of his face comes into the light.
He reaches toward John's face. His metal finger touches the tear
trickling down his cheek.

TERMINATOR
I know now why you cry. But it is something I
can never do.
(to both of them)
Goodbye.

Sarah looks at Terminator. Reaches out her hand to shake it.
They lock eyes. Warriors. Comrades.

SARAH
Are you afraid?

TERMINATOR
Yes.

He turns and steps off the edge.
213 They watch him sink into the lava.
He disappears... the metal hand sinking last... at the last second it
forms into a fist with the thumb extended... a final thumbs up.
Then it is gone.

214 HOLD ON JOHN AND SARAH, watching through the heat ripples as we --

DISSOLVE TO:
215 THE SUN, PURE IN A CLOUDLESS SKY

Tilting down reveal that we are in a park, very green. People are
casually dressed, having fun. Cycling, reading... children are
playing in a playground.

Beyond the line of tree we see the skyline of Washington, D.C., with
the Capital Building and the Washington Monument. The skyline is
subtly changed, with a lot of new buildings, advanced high-rises.
A CARD APPEARS

July 11, 2029

WE BOOM DOWN AND TRACK LATERALLY through a playground in the
foreground. Children swinging on swings. Sliding down slides.
Timeless things that 4 decades of technical advancement will not
change. As we track we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
August 29th 1997 came and went. Nothing much
happened. Michael Jackson turned forty. There
was no Judgment Day. People went to work as
they always do, laughed, complained, watched
TV, made love.

We pass a jungle gym, neither melted nor burned, but full of kids
swinging and yelling raucously. Past it we drop down to see a boy
pumping the pedals of a tricycle.

SARAH (V.O.)
I wanted to run down the street yelling... to
grab them all and say "Every day form this day
is a gift. Use it well!" Instead I got drunk.

STILL TRACKING we come to rest on an elderly woman seated on a bench.
It is SARAH, now 64 years old. The world has aged her, but she seems
at peace in this moment. She speaks into a microcassette recorder.

SARAH (V.O.)
That was thirty years ago. But the dark future
which never came still exists for me, and it
always will, like the traces of a dream lingering
in the morning light. And the war against the
machines goes on. Or, to be more precise, the
war against those who build the wrong machines.

There is a man in is forties playing with two small children
nearby. He turns. It is John Connor. Through he has the same stern
features in adulthood, there is no eye-patch, no scarring. He is far
from the haggard man on grim destiny we saw in the world that might
have been. But there is still penetrating intelligence, even wisdom,
in his eyes.

SARAH (V.O.)
John fights the war differently than it was
foretold. Here, on the battlefield of the
Senate, the weapons are common sense... and
hope.
A FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL runs to her to have her shoelace tied.

GIRL
Tie me, grandma.

Grandma Sarah smiles. It is the only time we have seen her smile so
far. She bends as the little girls puts her foot up on the bench.
She ties as we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
The luxury of hope was given to me by the
Terminator. Because if a machine can learn
the value of human life... maybe we can too.

Sarah ruffles the kids's hair as she runs off to play with her dad.

FADE OUT
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The group faces off against T-1000 in a brutal battle at a steel mill, with Terminator ultimately sacrificing himself to save Sarah and John. The battle leads to the destruction of both the T-1000 and the Skynet chip.
Strengths "Intense action sequences, strong character arcs, emotional moments."
Weaknesses "Some plot holes and conveniences."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with clear, descriptive action and dialogue that moves the plot forward. The tension builds effectively as the characters face off against the T-1000, with the stakes of their survival established early on. The use of the smelter setting adds to the intensity of the scene and creates a sense of confinement and danger.

However, there are a few areas for improvement. The introduction of the second Sarah character with the shotgun feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from more foreshadowing or buildup. Additionally, the moment where the Terminator touches John's tear could feel overly sentimental or heavy-handed, and could benefit from more nuance.

Overall, though, the scene effectively ties up the plot threads while also leaving room for further exploration of the world and themes in the future.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is a strong conclusion to the movie and effectively ties up loose ends while leaving room for potential sequels. However, here are some specific suggestions for improvement:

- Consider adding more visual description to help the reader better visualize the action in the maze of machinery. For example, what do the machines look like? How are they moving or functioning?
- When John is debating which Sarah to shoot, adding some internal dialogue or thought process from him could add to the suspense and tension.
- The action when the T-1000 is being shot by Sarah and the Terminator could benefit from more specific choreography to make the movements more clear and impactful for the reader.
- The moment when the Terminator touches John's tear is emotionally effective, but could be made even stronger with more description of the characters' expressions and body language.
- In the final scene with Sarah, adding more description of her surroundings and body language could help create a stronger sense of the peaceful future she is now a part of.