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Scene 1 -  Post-Apocalyptic Battlefield
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY

by

James Cameron

and

William Wisher


Revised final shooting script
1 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Downtown L.A. Noon on a hot summer day. On an EXTREME LONG LENS the
lunchtime crowd stacks up into a wall of humanity. In SLOW MOTION
they move in herds among the glittering rows of cars jammed bumper to
bumper. Heat ripples distort the torrent of faces. The image is
surreal, dreamy... and like a dream it begins very slowly to

DISSOLVE TO:

2 EXT. CITY RUINS - NIGHT

Same spot as the last shot, but now it is a landscape in Hell. The
cars are stopped in rusted rows, still bumper to bumper. The
skyline of buildings beyond has been shattered by some
unimaginable force like a row of kicked-down sandcastles.
Wind blows through the desolation, keening with the sound of ten
million dead souls. It scurries the ashes into drifts, stark
white in the moonlight against the charred rubble.

A TITLE CARD FADES IN:

LOS ANGELES, July 11, 2029

3 ANGLE ON a heap of fire-blackened human bones. Beyond the mound is a
vast tundra of skulls and shattered concrete. The rush hour crowd
burned down in their tracks.

4 WE DISSOLVE TO a playground... where intense heat has half-melted the
jungle gym, the blast has warped the swing set, the merry-go-round
has sagged in the firestorm. Small skulls look accusingly from the
ash-drifts. WE HEAR the distant echo of children's voices... playing
and laughing in the sun. A silly, sing-songy rhyme as WE TRACKS
SLOWLY over seared asphalt where the faint hieroglyphs of hopscotch
lines are still visible.

CAMERA comes to rest on a burnt and rusted tricycle... next to the
tiny skull of its owner. HOLD ON THIS IMAGE as a female VOICE speaks:

VOICE
3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997.
The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war
Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new
nightmare, the war against the Machines...

A metal foot crushes the skull like china.

TILT UP, revealing a humanoid machine holding a massive battle rifle.
It looks like a CHROME SKELETON... a high-tech Death figure. It is
the endoskeleton of a Series 800 terminator. Its glowing red eyes
compassionlessly sweep the dead terrain, hunting.

The SOUNDS of ROARING TURBINES. Searchlights blaze down as a
formation of flying HK (Hunter-Killer) patrol machines passes
overhead. PAN WITH THEM toward the jagged horizon, beyond which we
see flashes, and hear the distant thunder of a pitched battle in
progress.
5 EXT. BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT

THE BATTLE. Human troops is desperate combat with the machines for
possession of the dead Earth. The humans are a ragtag guerrilla
army. Skynet's weapons consist of Ground HKs (tank-like robot
gun-platforms), flying Aerial HKs, four-legged gun-pods called
Centurions, and the humanoid terminators in various forms.

SEQUENCE OF RAPID CUTS:
5A Explosions! Beam-weapons firing like searing strobe-light.
5B A gunner is an armored personnel carrier fires a LAW rocket at a
pursuing Aerial HK, bringing it down in a fiery explosion.
5C Another APC is crushed under the treads of a massive Ground HK.

5D A TEAM OF GUERRILLAS in a intense fire-fight with terminator
5E endoskeletons in the ruins of a building. Three terminator
5F endoskeletons advance, firing rapidly. Another (complete cyborg),
with flesh ripped open and back broken, gropes for a rifle on the
ground.

5G A Centurion overruns a human firing position. Soldiers are cut
down as they run. Fiery explosions light the ranks of advancing
machines.

6 IN A BLASTED GUN EMPLACEMENT at the edge of battle, a man watches
the combat with night-vision binoculars. He wears the uniform of a
guerrilla general, and a black beret. He is still amid running,
shouting techs and officers.

C.U. MAN, pushing slowly in as the battle rages O.S. He lowers the
binoculars. He is forty-five years old. Features severe. The left
side of his face is heavily scarred. A patch covers that eye. An
impressive man, forged in the furnace of a lifetime of war. The name
stitched on the band of his beret is CONNOR. We push in until his
eyes fill frame, then...

DISSOLVE TO:

FIRE. SLOW, BOILING, ENORMOUS. FILLING FRAME.

VOICE (SARAH CONNOR)
Skynet, the computer which controlled the machines,
sent two terminators back through time. Their
mission: to destroy the leader of the human
Resistance... John Connor. My son.

The first terminator was programmed to strike at
me, in the year 1984... before John was born.
It failed.

The second was set to strike at John himself,
when he was still a child. As before, the
Resistance was able to send a lone warrior. A
protector for John. It was just a question of
which one of them would reach him first...

DISSOLVE TO:
7 EXT. TRUCKSTOP - NIGHT

Wild fingers of BLUE-WHITE ELECTRIC ARCS dance in a steel canyon
formed by two TRACTOR TRAILERS, parked side by side in the back lot
of an all-night truck stop. Then...

The strange lightning forms a circular opening in mid-air, and in
the sudden flare of light we see a FIGURE in a SPHERE OF ENERGY.
Then the FRAME WHITES OUT with an explosive THUNDERCLAP!

Through the clearing vapor we see the figure clearly... a naked man.
TERMINATOR has come through. Physique: massive, perfect. Face:
devoid of emotion. Terminator stands and impassively surveys its
surroundings.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary In 2029 Los Angeles, after nuclear devastation, humans battle machines including terminators on a grim battlefield. Connor, a scarred guerrilla general, watches with determination as a female narrator recounts the horrors of the war and the emergence of the Terminator.
Strengths
  • Compelling concept
  • Intense action sequences
  • Strong world-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
  • Dialogue could be more dynamic
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual contrast between the bustling city street and the post-apocalyptic ruins, effectively setting the tone for the rest of the script.
  • The transition from the city street to the ruins is well executed, creating a sense of disorientation and shock for the audience.
  • The description of the playground as a landscape in Hell is vivid and evocative, painting a grim picture of the aftermath of Judgment Day.
  • The use of a female voiceover to narrate the horrors of the nuclear war adds a personal and emotional touch to the scene.
  • The introduction of the humanoid machine with glowing red eyes effectively establishes the threat posed by the machines in the post-apocalyptic world.
  • The rapid cuts in the battlefield sequence create a sense of chaos and urgency, immersing the audience in the intensity of the combat.
  • The character of Connor is intriguing, with his scars and military attire hinting at a complex backstory and a hardened personality.
  • The use of fire and explosions as visual motifs throughout the scene reinforces the theme of destruction and conflict.
  • The mention of Skynet and the terminators sets up the central conflict of the story and creates anticipation for the events to come.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more specific details to enhance the visual imagery and immerse the audience further in the post-apocalyptic world.
  • Explore ways to develop the character of Connor further, providing more insight into his motivations and struggles in the war against the machines.
  • Ensure that the transitions between different locations and time periods are seamless and easy for the audience to follow.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue or interactions between characters to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Continue to build tension and suspense throughout the script, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
  • Pay attention to pacing and structure to maintain a balance between action sequences and character development.
  • Consider exploring themes of survival, sacrifice, and hope in the face of overwhelming odds to add depth to the story.



Scene 2 -  Terminator's Diner Encounter
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
8 INT. TRUCK STOP DINER - NIGHT

On a back route to north L.A. A handful of local TRUCKERS hunch over
chili-sizes, CAT hats pushed back on their heads. Three BIKERS are
playing a game of pool in the back, their Miller empties lining the
table's rail. The dive's owner, LLOYD, a fat, aging biker-type in a
soiled apron, stands behind the bar. Nothing much going on...

Then the front door opens and a big naked guy strolls in -- that
doesn't happen every night. All eyes simultaneously swivel toward
Terminator. Its emotionless gaze passes over the customers as it
walks calmly through the room. Everyone frozen, not sure how to
react.

8A TERMINATOR POV. A digitized electronic scan of the room, overlaid
with alphanumeric readouts which change faster than the human eye
can follow. In POV we move past the staring truckers, past the
owner and the awestruck WAITRESS, and approach a large nasty-looking
biker puffing on a cigar. His body is outlined, or "selected", and
thousands of estimated measurements appear. His clothing has been
analyzed and deemed suitable...

8B TERMINATOR
I need your clothes, your boots, and your
motorcycle.

The big biker's eyes narrow. He takes a long draw on this cigar,
the tip cherry-red hot.

CIGAR BIKER
You forgot to say please.

He grinds the cigar out on Terminator's chest. Which produces not
the slight reaction of pain. Terminator calmly, and without
expression, grabs Cigar by his meaty upper arm...
Cigar screams from the hydraulic grip.

Terminator doesn't see Cigar's friend, behind him, holding his pool
cue by the narrow end like a Louisville Slugger. The heavy send
whistles in a powerful swing and CRACKS IN TWO across the back of
Terminator's head.
Terminator seems not to notice. Doesn't even blink. Without
releasing his grip on Cigar, he snaps his arm straight back and grabs
Pool Cue by the front of his jacket. Suddenly the heavyset biker
finds himself flying through the nearest window. CRAASSH!

Terminator hurls Cigar, all 230 pounds of him, clear over the bar,
through the serving window into the kitchen, where he lands on the
big flat GRILL. We hear a SOUND like SIZZLING BACON as Cigar
screams, flopping jerking. He rolls off in a smoking heap.

The third biker whips out a knife with a eight-inch blade and slashes
at Terminator's face.

Terminator grabs the arcing blade with his bare hand. Holding it by
the razor-sharp blade he jerks is from the guy's hand.
Ultra-fast here: He flips it. Grabs the handle like you're supposed
to hold a knife. Grabs the biker and slams him face-down over the
bar. Then brings the knife whistling down, pinning the biker's
shoulder to the bar top with his own steel.

9 INT. KITCHEN

The doors BANGS OPEN and Terminator strides in.
The Mexican cook does a fast fade as Terminator walks toward Cigar,
who is cursing in pain on the floor.

With his deep-fried fingers he struggles to get out the .45 auto
tucked under his leather jacket. But he can't even hold onto it.
Terminator takes it from him. Instead of pointing it at him,
Terminator carefully examines weapon, analyzing its caliber and
operating condition. Terminator never threatens... that's a human
thing. He just takes.

Cigar senses what he must do when the emotionless eyes come back to
him. He slides the keys to his bike across the floor to Terminator's
foot. Then painfully starts getting out of his jacket.

10 INT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator strides from the kitchen, fully clothed now in a black
leather jacket, leather riding pants, and heavy, clean boots. He
moves toward the moaning biker pinned to the pool table. Without
slowing his stride he jerks the knife out. The guy slumps to the
floor, groaning, behind him.

Terminator continues toward the front of the diner, passing Lloyd,
the owner. At the door, he comes abreast of two truckers who sit
frozen like a snapshot in mid-bite. One of the truckers finally
nods.

TRUCKER
Evening...

Terminator impassively stares back. Then moves on out the door.
11 EXT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator walks out, surveying the parked Harleys. Sticks the .45
in his belt and swings one leg over a massive CUSTOM ELECTRO-GLIDE.
He slips the dagger in his boot and the key in the ignition. Kicks
over the engine. It catches with a roar and he slams the heavy iron
into gear with a KLUNK.

Lloyd appears at the diner's door with a sawed-off 10-GAUGE
WINCHESTER LEVER-ACTION SHOTGUN. He fires into the air and jacks
around round in fast, aiming at Terminator's back.

LLOYD
I can't let you take the man's wheels, son.
Now get off or I'll put you down.

Terminator turns and considers by coldly. He eases the shifter up
into neutral. Rocks the bike onto its kickstand. Swings him leg
over and walks calmly toward the guy.

Terminator strides right up to Lloyd, staring straight into the
shotgun's muzzle. Lloyd starts sweating, trying to decide is he's
going to kill a man in cold blood. He's still trying to decide when
Terminator's hand blurs out like a striking cobra and is somehow
suddenly holding the shotgun.

Lloyd gapes, knowing he's screwed. Then...
Terminator reaches toward him. Oh shit...
And slips the sunglasses out of Lloyd's shirt pocket. Puts them on.
Strides back to the Harley and roars off in a shower of gravel.

12 EXT. FREEWAY - NIGHT

Terminator roars down the freeway, heading for L.A. Cold neon flares
across the chrome of the big bike. The 10-gauge is jammed through
the clutch and brake cables, across the handlebars. The lights flow
over Terminator's wrap-around sunglasses like the tracks of tracer
rounds.

CUT TO:

13 EXT. OVERPASS - NIGHT

The First Street Bridge. Rusting chain-link fence and graffiti-
covered walls. An L.A.P.D. BLACK-AND-WHITE cruises the empty street.

A TREMENDOUS BLUE-WHITE GLARE suddenly spills out between the columns
of the overpass. The young UNIFORMED COP in the car whips his head
around at the source of the light. He pulls over quickly, in time
to see...

13A The powerfully arcing electrical discharge reaches its peak between
the columns. Lightning climbs the chain-link fence and light
standards, lighting up the night, and papers swirl in a blasting
whirlwind.

13B The cop climbs from his cruiser as the glow fades.
He sees vapor dissipating as he approaches the spot where he saw the
strange light. He draws his revolver and cautiously moves into the
shadows between the rows of pillars.

A NAKED MAN glides from a shadowed doorway behind the cop. Nothing
special about him. Certainly not built like a terminator. The flash
of light and fact that he is naked are pretty good clues that he
just arrived from the future. His features are handsome bordering
on severe. His eyes are gray ice. Penetrating. Intelligent.

THE COP spins at a sound. Too late. Mr. X is already on him. The
blow is lighting fast and the cop drops like a bag of sand.

LOW ANGLE as the unconscious cop hits the deck, his BERETTA 9mm
AUTOMATIC clattering next to him. A hand ENTERS FRAME and picks up
this pistol.

CUT TO:

13C HIGHLY POLISHED BLACK SHOES rounding the rear tire of the police
cruiser. FOLLOW THE SHOES to the cruiser's door then MOVE UP as
Mr. X, dressed now in LAPD blue, climbs behind the wheel. He
looks and acts exactly like a cop. Cool, alert, confident in his
power, his expression emotionless and judgmental.
Mr. X, now Officer X, puts the car in gear and drives into the night.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Array
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Compelling premise
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense and suspenseful atmosphere as Terminator enters the truck stop diner, creating a sense of unease among the patrons.
  • The action sequences are well-described and showcase Terminator's formidable abilities, such as effortlessly handling the bikers who try to attack him.
  • The use of Terminator's emotionless demeanor and calculated actions adds to the character's intimidating presence and sets the tone for the rest of the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the conflict between Terminator and the bikers, leading to a series of escalating confrontations that highlight Terminator's strength and resilience.
  • The visual descriptions help to create a vivid picture of the scene, from the dive bar setting to the intense action sequences.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Terminator to provide insight into the character's mindset and motivations.
  • Explore the dynamics between Terminator and the bikers further to add depth to the conflict and create more tension in the scene.
  • Introduce more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in the setting, such as sounds, smells, and textures.
  • Consider incorporating dialogue or interactions between Terminator and the bikers to add layers to the scene and develop the characters further.
  • Ensure consistency in the pacing of the action sequences to maintain a sense of momentum and keep the reader engaged throughout the scene.



Scene 3 -  Domestic Rebellion and Mental Anguish
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
14 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE/GARAGE - DAY

TIGHT ON YOUNG JOHN CONNOR, who at his moment is ten years old and
busy reassembling the carburetor on his Honda 125 dirtbike. He has
ripped Levi's and long stringy hair. A sullen mouth. Eyes which
reveal an intelligence as sharp as a scalpel. The Ramones' "I Wanna
Be Sedated" blasts from a boom box next to him.

A WOMAN, JANELLA VOIGHT, stands in the doorway of the garage,
yelling over the music.

WOMAN
...John? John! Get in here right now and
clean up that pigsty of yours.

John's friend TIM, a thirteen-year-old Hispanic kid, watches as John
replies by turning up the volume on the boom box.
Janelle gives up with a SLAM of the house's back door.

TIM
Your foster parents are kinda dicks, right?

JOHN
Gimme that Phillips right there.

15 INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Janelle storms into the room. TOD VOIGHT, her husband, watches
sports on the TV. They're both in their thirties. Middle-class
working stiffs.
JANELLE
I swear I've had it with that goddamn kid.
He won't even answer me.
(neither does he)
Todd? Are you gonna sit there or are you gonna
do something?

He sighs. Throws down the TV's remote and heads for the garage.

16 INT. GARAGE

John hops on the bike. Kick-starts it. Tim picks up John's nylon
bag, then climbs on the back. Todd ENTERS and shouts over the
engine, which John revs louder and louder.

TODD
John! Get your ass inside right now and do
what your mother says!

John pins Todd with a defiant glare.

JOHN
She's not my mother, Todd!

He revs the engine and peels out of the garage, with Tim almost
falling off the back. They take off down the street.

17 EXT. VACANT LOT/DRAINAGE CANAL

John cuts through a vacant lot to a trail running beside a fenced-in
drainage canal. He guns the bike through a hole in the retaining
fence. Tim's eyes go wide as they roar down the concrete embankment.

17A IN THE DRAINAGE CANAL John zig-zags along, throwing up a
roostertail of muddy water. Tim shouts, pretending he didn't just
see his life flash before his eyes. He slaps John on the back.

TIM
Major moves, homes! So... where is your
real mom, anyway?
(John doesn't answer)
She dead or something?

It's hard to read John's expression.

JOHN
She might as well be.

John twists the throttle angrily and the bike lunges forward.

CUT TO:

18 EXT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - DAY

A SIGN on a chain link fence topped with concertina wire reads:
PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE. Beyond it
squats an imposing four-story building. Institutional brick.
Barred windows. About as inviting as KGB headquarters. Security
guards patrol the manicured grass.

19 INT. HOSPITAL - MAXIMUM SECURITY WING

Sunlight is a barred slash on the bare institutional wall. The room
is empty of all furnishings save the bed, a stainless steel sink,
toilet, and a dented metal mirror. WE HEAR a rhythmic grunting,
small explosions of breath in perfectly-metered time.

PAN TO a bedframe leaned upright against the wall, legs facing
outward. A pair of sweaty hands grip one leg. Tendons knot and
release as SOMEONE does pull-ups. A man of tangled hair hides the
face that comes INTO FRAME, dips out, comes back.

WIDER. A WOMAN in a tank top and hospital pants in hanging from the
top leg of the vertical bedframe. Her body is straight and taut.
Knees bent so the feet clear the ground. The arms are lean and
muscular. The inmate, face hidden, pulls up, dips, pulls up. Like
a machine. No change in rhythm.

20 INT. HOSPITAL/CORRIDOR

FIGURES MOVE TOWARD US down a corridor of polished tile and two-
tone walls. DR. PETER SILBERMAN, a smug criminal psychologist,
leads a group of young INTERNS. Following laconically, are THREE
BURLY ATTENDANTS.

SILBERMAN
The next patient is a 29-year old female
diagnosed as acute schizo-affective disorder.
The usual indicators... depression, anxiety,
violent acting-out, delusions of persecution.
(the interns nod judiciously)
Here we are.

Silberman stops at one of the SOUNDPROOF STEEL DOORS. There is a two-
way speaker beneath a tiny window. Silberman flips the intercom
switch.

21 INT. CELL

Silberman's scrubbed and cheerful face at cell window. HIS VOICE
comes over the tinny speaker.

SILBERMAN
'Morning, Sarah.

REVERSE ANGLE as she turns slowly into CLOSE UP.
SARAH CONNOR is not the same woman we remember from last time. Her
eyes peer out through a wild tangle of hair like those of a cornered
animal. Defiant and intense, but skittering around looking for
escape at the same time. Fight or flight. Down one cheek is a long
scar, from just below the eye to her upper lip.
Her VOICE is a low and chilling monotone.
SARAH
Good morning, Dr. Silberman. How's the knee?

22 INT. CORRIDOR

Silberman's smug composure drops a second. Then returns.

SILBERMAN
Fine, Sarah.
(he switches off, speaks to
the interns)
She, uh... stabbed me in the kneecap with a
screwdriver a few weeks ago.

Sarah watches them talking about her through the glass, but can't
hear them. She feels like a lab animal. The interns look in at her
through the glass as Silberman talks. With her face drawn, eyes
haggard and hair wild, she looks like she belongs where she is.

SILBERMAN
The delusional architecture is interesting.
She believes a machine called a "terminator",
which looks human of course, was sent back
though time to kill her. And also that the
father of her child was a soldier, sent to
protect her... he was from the future too...
(he smiles)
The year 2029, if I remember correctly.
(the interns chuckle)
Let's move on, shall we?

As the interns walk on, Silberman steps close to DOUGLAS, the head
attendant, and speaks low.

SILBERMAN
Douglas, I don't like seeing the patients
disturbing their rooms like this. See that she
takes her thorazine, would you?

DOUGLAS is 6'4", 250 pounds and warm-hearted at a rattlesnake. He
nods, catching Silberman's meaning, and gestures for the other
attendants to hang back as Silberman moves on in his rounds.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama"]

Summary In a suburban home, John Connor defies his foster parents and escapes with his friend, Tim. Inside the house, Janelle and Todd argue over John's behavior. Simultaneously, in a mental hospital, Sarah Connor interacts with Dr. Silberman, showcasing her delusional beliefs. The scene underscores John's rebellious nature and the psychological struggle faced by Sarah.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective setting establishment
Weaknesses
  • Potential for deeper conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene introduces a new setting and characters without a clear connection to the previous scenes, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The transition from John Connor working on his dirtbike to Sarah Connor in a mental hospital feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The dialogue between John and Tim lacks depth and doesn't contribute much to the overall story or character development.
  • The interaction between Janelle and Todd lacks emotional depth and fails to establish a strong conflict or tension.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, making it feel disconnected from the larger narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider integrating the scene more seamlessly into the overall story arc to maintain continuity and coherence.
  • Develop the dialogue between characters to reveal more about their relationships, motivations, and conflicts.
  • Add more depth to the interactions between characters to create a stronger emotional impact and engage the audience.
  • Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters.
  • Provide more context or background information to help the audience understand the significance of the events in the scene.



Scene 4 -  Pursuit and Deception
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
23 INT. CELL

Sarah looks up as the cell door opens. Douglas walks in slowly,
idly tapping his POLICE BATON against the door in a ominous rhythm.
The other two orderlies ease in behind him. One of them carries a
STUN BATON (like a sawed-off cattle prod). The other has a tray with
cups of red liquid-thorazine.

DOUGLAS
Time to take you meds, Connor.

Sarah faces him, weight centered. Feral eyes darting from one to the
other.
SARAH
You take it.

Douglas grins, casual --

DOUGLAS
Now you know you got to be good 'cause you up
for review this afternoon...

SARAH
I'm not taking it. Now I don't want any
trouble...

DOUGLAS
Ain't no trouble at all --

He whips the baton in a whistling backhand, which --
WHAP! Takes her square in the stomach. She doubles over and drops
to her knees, unable to breathe. Douglas tips the bed and it slams
down with a crash, right new to her. He takes her stun wand from
the other attendant and walks forward.

TIGHT ON SARAH, grimacing and struggling to breathe.

SARAH
You... son of a... AAARRGH!!

The stun wand hits her between shoulder blades as she tries to rise.
It drives her to the floor, pinning her like a bug. Little
ELECTRIC ARCS CRACKLE as the baton makes her writhe in pain.
Douglas grabs her by the hair and jerks her up to her knees. Holds
the cup of thorazine in front of her lips.

DOUGLAS
Last call, sugar.

Gasping, she chokes the zombie juice down.

CUT TO:

24 EXT. BANK PARKING LOT - DAY

John furtively hunches before a Ready-Teller machine at the rear of
a local bank while his friend Tim stands lookout. John slips a
stolen ATM card into the machine slot. It is something he's rigged
up, because trailing from the card is ribbon-wire which goes to
some kind of black-box electronics unit he's got in his ever-present
knapsack. He holds the pack between his knees and pulls out a
little lap-top keyboard, which is also connected to the black-box.

John enters a few commands and the plasma-screen displays the PIN
number for that account. He quickly enters the number on the Ready-
Teller's keypad and asks it for 300 bucks. The machine whirs then
begins dispensing twenty-dollar bills. Tim looks back over his
shoulder amazed.

JOHN
Easy money!
TIM
Where'd you learn all this stuff?

John collects the twenties as the machine kicks them out. A cool and
professional electronic-age thief at ten years old.

JOHN
From my mom. My real mom, I mean. Come on
baby...
(he grabs the last bills)
Let's go!

They sprint around the corner to an --

25 EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BANK

They huddle behind the building as John counts out Tim's share.
He folds five twenties and palms them to the other kid. When John
opens his wallet to put in his money, Tim notices a picture in a
plastic sleeve.

TIM
That her?

John reluctantly shows his friend the Polaroid. It is a shot of
Sarah. Pregnant, in a jeep near the Mexican border. John doesn't
know it now, but he will carry the photo with him for over 30 years,
and give it to a young man named Kyle Reese, who will travel back in
time to become his father. Yes, that photo.

TIM
So she's pretty cool, huh?

JOHN
Actually, no, she's a complete psycho. That's
why she's up at Pescedero. She tries to blow up
a computer factory, but she got shot and arrested.

TIM
No shit?

JOHN
Yeah, she's a total loser. C'mon, let's check
out the 7-Eleven, whatya say?

John has tried to sound casual, but we see in his eyes that is really
hurts. He slaps Tim on the shoulder and they jump onto his Honda.
John fires up and they whine off down the alley.

CUT TO:

26 INT. POLICE CRUISER - DAY

CLOSE ON COMPUTER TERMINAL, attached to the dash. A Juvenile
Division file. Subject: John Connor. Below his ARREST RECORD are
his vital stats. Mother: Sarah Connor. Legal Guardians: Todd and
Janelle Voight. And below their names, an address: 523 S. Almond.
Reseda, Ca.
OFFICER X stares at the screen for a moment. Then gets out the car.

27 INT./EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE - DAY

TIGHT ON FRONT DOOR as Todd Voight opens it, revealing the unsmiling
face of Officer X beyond the screen door. Todd greets him with a
weary sigh.

OFFICER X
Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?

TODD
That's right, officer. What's he done now?

Officer X ignores the question. He casually scans the living room.

OFFICER X
Could I speak with him, please?

Todd shrugs, showing the cop he's past his patience with the boy.

TODD
Well, you could if he was here. Be he took off
on his bike this morning. Could be anywhere.
You gonna tell me what his is about?

OFFICER X
I just need to ask him a few questions.

Janelle appears in the doorway behind Todd, concerned.

JANELLE
There was a guy here this morning asking about
him, too.

TODD
Yeah, big guy. On a bike. Has that got
something to do with it?

Officer X registers the significance of that. He realizes who the
big guy must be. He smiles. Reassuringly shakes his head no.

OFFICER X
I wouldn't worry. Do you have a photograph
of John?

Todd stares unhappily at the cop. Turns to Janelle.

TODD
Get the album, Janelle.

CUT TO:

28 EXT. STREET

ANGLE THROUGH AN ALLEY from the main street. We see John and Tim
flash by on the Honda a block away. Hold a beat. Then...
A BIG CHROME WHEEL ENTERS FRAME. BOOM UP a leather-clad leg to
Terminator's implacable face. It surveys the area slowly as the
bike idles, then kicks it into gear and moves on, scanning in a
slow shark-like manner, not aware that it missed its prey by
seconds.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary Sarah Connor endures abuse and medication in prison as John Connor commits petty theft with an accomplice. Meanwhile, authorities investigate John's disappearance and the Terminator relentlessly searches for him. Despite the looming threat, John remains oblivious to the Terminator's pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling post-apocalyptic setting
  • Strong conflict and tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Sarah being beaten and forcibly administered thorazine in her cell to John committing a petty theft using a hacked ATM. This sudden shift in focus can be disorienting for the audience and disrupt the flow of the narrative.
  • The violence and brutality inflicted on Sarah by Douglas are depicted in a graphic and disturbing manner, which may be excessive and unnecessary for the scene. It's important to handle sensitive and violent scenes with care to avoid gratuitous depictions of abuse.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Douglas feels forced and lacks subtlety, with Douglas coming across as a stereotypical abusive authority figure. Adding more depth and nuance to their interaction could make the scene more engaging and realistic.
  • The transition from Sarah's traumatic experience to John's lighthearted theft at the ATM lacks cohesion and fails to establish a clear connection between the two storylines. This abrupt shift in tone can be jarring for the audience.
  • The scene could benefit from more character development and emotional depth, especially in portraying Sarah's resilience and John's rebellious nature. Exploring their inner thoughts and motivations could add layers to their characters and make the scene more compelling.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Sarah's ordeal and John's theft, perhaps by intercutting their experiences or finding a thematic link between the two events.
  • Tone down the graphic violence and brutality in Sarah's interaction with Douglas to maintain a balance between depicting the harsh realities of her situation and avoiding unnecessary shock value.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue between Sarah and Douglas to add complexity to their dynamic and reveal more about their characters' motivations and conflicts.
  • Explore ways to deepen the emotional impact of the scene by delving into Sarah and John's internal struggles and reactions to their respective challenges, providing insight into their resilience and determination.
  • Consider incorporating visual cues or symbolic elements to enhance the thematic connections between Sarah's trauma and John's rebellious behavior, creating a more cohesive and thematically rich scene.



Scene 5 -  Sarah's Nightmare
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
29 INT. SARAH'S CELL - DAY

CLOSE ON SARAH. She is shackled, hands and feet, to the bed.
Sunlight falls across her pale face. A hand enter frame, gently
stroking her cheek. She wakes up to see --

KYLE REESE. Sitting on the edge of her bed, looking exactly the
same as we last saw him in 1984. Scruffy blonde hair and a long
raincoat.

SARAH
Kyle..? You're dead.

He gives her a gentle smile.

REESE
I know. This is a dream, Sarah.

SARAH
Oh. Yeah. They... make me take this stuff...

He puts a finger to her lips. Then silently unfastens her restraints.
They gaze into each other's eyes. And in the look that his death
and the horror she has been through since hasn't touched their love
at all.

SARAH
Hold me.

She melts into Reese's arms. Pulls him to her.

REESE
I love you. I always will.

SARAH
Oh, God... Kyle. I need you so much.

She kisses him passionately. They are locked together in a timeless
moment. PUSH IN TIGHT on Sarah as she buries her face in his
shoulder. She shuts her eyes tight. Stay on Sarah as Reese speaks.
He voice is strangely cold.

REESE (O.S.)
Where's John, Sarah?

Sarah opens her eyes and he is no longer in her arms. He is standing
across the room. Pinning her with an accusing gaze.

SARAH
They took him from me.
REESE
It's John who's the target now. You have to
protect him. He's wide open.

SARAH
I know!

REESE
Don't quit, Sarah. Our son need you.

SARAH
(struggling not to cry)
I know, but I'm not as strong as I'm supposed
to be. I can't do it. I'm screwing up the
mission.

REESE
Remember the message... the future is not set.
There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

He turns toward the door.

SARAH
Kyle, don't go!

REESE
(turning back to her)
There's not much time left in the world, Sarah.

Reese goes out the door. Sarah jumps from the bed, frantic. Yanks
the door open. Follow her out.

30 INT. CORRIDOR

Sarah staggers from her cell. Reese is already, impossibly, a
hundred feet away, striding down the dim corridor. A silhouette
in a long coat, disappearing around a corner.

Sarah runs after him, her bare feet slapping the cold linoleum.
Her hospital gown floats out behind her as she dream-runs along the
seemingly infinite corridor. She reaches the corner, slides around
it, and...

30A Slams right into the arms of Douglas and his three helpers. They
grab her as she struggles and screams. The Silberman is there,
smiling soothingly. They force her down and she is pinned to
the floor, screaming. A new figure approaches... one even more
menacing.

TERMINATOR walks toward her, with heavy measured steps. Backlit,
eyes concealed by the sunglasses, it stands over her like the angel
of death itself. It reaches down and...
Takes her hand. Lifts her up. Leads her to a door. They go through
together. Emerging into...
30B A BEAUTIFUL SUNLIGHT MORNING. CHILDREN are playing nearby... sliding
down slides, clambering through a jungle gym. Sarah knows this
dream know... it's is the worst of all her nightmares. She starts
to scream but no sound comes out.

30C THE SKY EXPLODES into WHITE LIGHT. Everything is seared by the unholy
glare, hotter than a thousand suns. The children ignite like
match heads. Sarah is burning, screaming silently, everything silent
and overexposed. Terminator's flesh and clothing are burning,
silently. It grips her hand, Virgil to her Dante in this tour of the
nuclear-age Inferno.

30D THE BLAST WAVE HITS... a near-solid wall of compressed air followed
by 250-mph winds. The children, charcoal statues frozen in positions
of play, explode into black leaves of ash and swirl away. SOUND
hit now, with a thunderous roar. Sarah's scream merges with the
howl of the wind as the blast hits her, exploding the flesh from her
bones. Beside her, Terminator is stripped of its burnt flesh,
becoming a smoking skeleton of steel.

30E Then she wake up... in her cell, shackled to the bed. Sunlight hurts
her eyes. She looks desperate and defeated. She knows the war is
coming. It visits her every time she closes her eyes. Lost and
alone, Sarah feels all hope recede for herself and for humanity.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]

Summary Sarah awakens in a cell, shackled, and shared a kiss with Kyle Reese, who informs her of John's danger. Reese vanishes, and Sarah is captured. The Terminator guides Sarah through a door into a peaceful setting, which is abruptly consumed by a nuclear blast. Sarah awakens in her cell, feeling helpless and defeated.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling character interactions
  • Intriguing dream sequences
Weaknesses
  • Potentially overwhelming for some viewers due to intense themes and imagery
Critique
  • The scene starts with a dream sequence involving Kyle Reese, which may confuse the audience as to whether it is real or not. It's important to clearly establish dream sequences to avoid confusion.
  • The emotional connection between Sarah and Kyle is portrayed well, but the transition to the more accusatory tone when he questions her about John feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Kyle is emotional and impactful, but the shift in Kyle's demeanor to a more cold and urgent tone could be better developed for a more seamless transition.
  • The transition from the dream sequence to Sarah waking up in her cell is jarring and could be improved with a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The vivid description of the nuclear explosion nightmare is powerful, but the impact could be heightened by focusing on Sarah's emotional reaction to the nightmare.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the dream sequence by establishing it more clearly as a dream to avoid confusion for the audience.
  • Smooth out the transition between emotional moments and urgent dialogue to maintain a consistent tone throughout the scene.
  • Consider refining the dialogue between Sarah and Kyle to ensure a more natural progression in their interaction.
  • Work on the transition from the dream sequence to Sarah waking up in her cell to create a more seamless flow in the scene.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the nightmare description by focusing on Sarah's emotional reaction to the traumatic event.



Scene 6 -  Disturbing Visions and Cybernetic Mysteries
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
31 INT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - INTERVIEW ROOM

TIGHT ON VIDEO SCREEN, playing a previously-recorded session.
Sarah is in a strait-jacket, talking softly.

VIDEO SARAH
... it's... like a giant strobe light, burning
right through my eyes... but somehow I can still
see. Look, you know the dream's the same every
night, why do I have to --

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Please continue...

31A The REAL SARAH dispassionately watches herself on the screen. Her
expression is controlled. Silberman watches her watching. They are
in a brightly-lit interview room. TWO ATTENDANTS stands nearby.

31B VIDEO SARAH
The children look like burnt paper... black,
not moving. Then the blast wave hits them and
they fly apart like leaves..."

Video Sarah can't go on. Real Sarah watches herself cry on tape,
her expression cold. We hear Silberman speak on the tape.

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Dreams about cataclysm, or the end of the world,
are very common, Sarah...

Video Sarah cuts him off, her mood shifting to sudden rage.
VIDEO SARAH
It's not just a dream. It's real, you moron!
I know the date is happens!!

VIDEO SILBERMAN
I'm sure it feels very real to you --

VIDEO SARAH
On August 29th 1997 it's going to feel pretty
fucking real to you, too! Anybody not wearing
number two million sunblock in gonna have a
real bad day, get it?

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Relax now, Sarah --

VIDEO SARAH
You think you're alive and safe, but you're
already dead. Everybody, you, him...
(she gestures are the
attendant)
everybody... you're all fucking dead!

She is raving, half out of her chair. The orderly moves to inject
her with something.

VIDEO SARAH
You're the one living in a dream, Silberman,
not me! Because I know it happens. It
happens!

31C Silberman pauses the tape... freezing Sarah's contorted face.
Real Sarah turns away from the screen, he expression stony.

SARAH
I was afraid... and confused. I feel much
better, now. Clearer.

Silberman gives a calculated paternal smile.

SILBERMAN
Yes. Your attitude have been very positive
lately.

Sarah looks up at him. Her voice is hopeful.

SARAH
It has helped me a lot to have a goal, something
to look forward to.

SILBERMAN
And what it that?

As she answers, WE PULL BACK, revealing that we have been looking
through a one-way mirror from an adjacent OBSERVATION ROOM. In the
shadows of the observation room we see that interns from the
earlier rounds, and a couple of STAFF PSYCHOLOGISTS. They smoke and
make the occasional note.
SARAH
You said I could be transferred to the minimum
security wing and have visitors if I showed
improvement in six months. Well, it's been six
months, and I was looking forward to seeing my
son.

SILBERMAN
I see. Let's go back to what you were saying
about these terminator machines. Now you think
they don't exist?

CLOSE ON SARAH. Her voice sounds hollow.

SARAH
They don't exist. I see that now.

Silberman leans back, studying her. Toying with her.

SILBERMAN
But you've told me on many occasions about how
you crushed one in a hydraulic press.

SARAH
If I had, there would have been some evidence.
They would have found something at the factory.

SILBERMAN
I see. So you don't believe anymore that the
company covered it up?

Sarah shakes her head no.

CUT TO:

32 EXT. CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS - DAY

The corporate headquarters of a mega-electronic corporation. As
imposing cubist castle of black glass.

33 INT. SECOND FLOOR/ELEVATORS

The elevator doors slide open with a whisper and MILES DYSON strides
out. Black. In his early thirties. The star of the Special
Projects Division. He's brilliant, aggressive, driven. Dyson walks
down the corridor, swinging his arms... a man in a hurry. A man
with much to do.

He reaches a solid security door and zips his ELECTRONIC KEY-CARD
through the scanner. The door unlocks with a clunk.
The sign next to the door reads: SPECIAL PROJECTS DIVISION:
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

34 INT. SECURITY STATION

He nods to the guards as he passes through the security checkpoint.
They can see all activities on the floor on their bank of monitors.
He unlocks another service door with his card and enters --
35 INT. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (A.I.) LAB

The lab is quite large, comprising banks of processors, disk drives,
test bays, prototype assembly areas. Extremely high tech.

DYSON
Greetings, troops.

He is jokingly saluted by fellow members. Not a lab coat in sight.
This is strictly jeans and sneakers crowd. All young and bright.
They sit at their consoles drinking Coke and changing technology as
we know it. A young LAB ASSISTANT rushes over to Dyson. Name tag
says he's BRYANT.

BRYANT
Mr. Dyson? The material teams wants to run
another test on the uh... on it.

DYSON
Yup. Come on. I'll get it.

Dyson produces an unusual-looking KEY from his pocket as they stride
through the lab. Bryant has to hustle to keep up.

BRYANT
Listen, Mr. Dyson, I know I haven't been here
that long, but I was wondering if you could tell
me... I mean, if you know...

DYSON
Know what?

BRYANT
Well... where it came from.

DYSON
I asked them that question once. Know what
they told me? Don't ask.

36 INT. VAULT ROOM

Dyson enters with Bryant. Dyson and a GUARD stand together before
what looks like a high-tech bank vault. It requires two keys to
open, like the launch controls in a nuclear silo. The guard and
Dyson insert their keys and turn them simultaneously. Dyson then
enters a passcode at a console and the vault unlocks itself with a
sequence of clunks. The door swings open and Dyson enters. Bryant
stays outside with the guard, who notes Dyson's name and item on a
clipboard.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah, a patient in a mental hospital, claims to have apocalyptic dreams and reveals a specific date for an impending disaster. Meanwhile, Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems enters a secure lab where a mysterious object is being kept, creating an aura of suspense and intrigue.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Intriguing plot revelations
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Sarah watching a video of herself to Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue in the video of Sarah talking about her apocalyptic dreams feels forced and lacks subtlety, making it less impactful.
  • The interaction between Sarah and Dr. Silberman lacks depth and emotional resonance, missing an opportunity to delve into Sarah's inner turmoil and struggles.
  • The scene lacks a clear connection between Sarah's delusions and Miles Dyson's work at Cyberdyne Systems, making the transition between the two feel disjointed.
  • The tension and suspense in the scene could be heightened by building up the stakes and consequences of Sarah's beliefs and actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Sarah's video and Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems.
  • Focus on developing more nuanced and emotionally resonant dialogue for Sarah and Dr. Silberman to deepen the impact of their interaction.
  • Explore the connection between Sarah's delusions and Miles Dyson's work more explicitly to create a stronger thematic link between the two storylines.
  • Enhance the tension in the scene by emphasizing the consequences of Sarah's beliefs and actions, building towards a more climactic moment.
  • Consider adding visual cues or symbolic elements to reinforce the themes of Sarah's apocalyptic visions and the impending threat posed by Cyberdyne Systems.



Scene 7 -  Terminator Infiltration and Sarah's Resistance
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
37 INT. VAULT

Dyson walks to a stainless steel cabinet and opens it. Inside is a
small artifact in a sealed container of inert gas. IT -- a ceramic
rectangle, about the size of a domino, the color of liver. It has
been shattered, painstakingly reconstructed and mounted on a metal
frame.
Dyson removes the artifact, it its insert-gas, and sets it on a
specially-designed cart. He handles it like the Turin Shroud.
Dyson closes the cabinet. Turns to the one next to it. Opens its
door. In this cabinet is a larger object... an intricate METAL HAND
AND FOREARM.

At the elbow, the metal is twisted and crushed. But the forearm and
hand are intact. Its metal surface scorched and discolored, it
stands upright in a vacuum flask, as if saluting. This is all that
remains of the terminator Sarah destroyed. Dyson stares at it, lost
in thought. The he closes the cabinet, BLACKING OUT FRAME.

CUT TO:

38 INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/OBSERVATION ROOM

We can see through the one-way mirror into the interview room where
Sarah is still talking with Silberman. The OTHER PSYCHOLOGISTS are
still watching through the mirror. Reviewing Sarah's condition.

SARAH
So what do you think, Doctor? I've shown a lot
of improvement, haven't I?

SILBERMAN
You see, Sarah... here's the problem. I know
how smart you are, and I think you're just
telling me what I want to hear. I don't think
you really believe who you've been telling me
today.

We go tight on Sarah's reaction. And we see that Silberman is right.
She was playing him and it didn't work. And she knows she's fucked.
Her tone becomes quite pleading.

SARAH
You have to let me see my son. Please. It's
very important. He's in danger. At least let
me call him --

Silberman pins her with his sweet reptilian gaze.

SILBERMAN
I'm afraid not. Not for a while. I don't see
any choice but to recommend to the review board
that you stay here another six months.

Sarah's eyes turn cold and lethal in one second. She knows she's
lost. She knows this guy is just playing with her, and she --
LEAPS ACROSS THE TABLE AT HIM.

SARAH
YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

Silberman jumps back and the attendants dive on her. She is writhing
and twisting like a bobcat. Silberman whips open a drawer and pulls
out a syringe. He jabs it into her and she yells --
SARAH
Goddammit. Let me go!! Silberman! You don't
know what you're doing! You fuck! You're dead!
You hear me!!

Silberman signals and the attendants drag her out.
He looks at the doctors behind the glass. Shrugs.

SILBERMAN
Model citizen.

CUT TO:

39 EXT. 7-ELEVEN STORE - DAY

Officer X has stopped two young girls in front of a 7-Eleven. He is
leaning out the cruiser window and showing them the picture of John.
The first girl nods.

FIRST GIRL
Yeah, he was here about fifteen minutes ago. I
think he said he was going to the Galleria.

OFFICER X
The what?

The second girl points toward a massive complex visible about the
houses several blocks away. Officer X stares at it.

40 EXT. STREET

Terminator cruises slowly on the bike. Scanning. He crosses an
overpass above a drainage canal and whips his head around at the
sound of a dirt-bike engine.

40A TERMINATOR POV -- OF TWO KIDS ON A BIKE DOWN IN THE CANAL.
THE IMAGE SNAP-ZOOMS IN. FREEZES ON THE DRIVER'S FACE.
"IDENT POS" FLASHES NEXT TO THE BLURRY IMAGE OF JOHN.

40B Terminator wheel the Harley around, cutting onto a street which runs
parallel to the canal. Terminator hauls ass at keep John in sight.
He catches glimpses of the kid through trees and houses. Loses him.
Catches one last glimpse of him heading into the parking lot of a
large SHOPPING MALL.

41 INT. GALLERIA - DAY

John works his way through a crowded video arcade. Sees some guys he
knows. Stops to talk, striking a pose. Mall rats in the element.
We don't hear the dialogue.

42 INT. GALLERIA PARKING LOT

TERMINATOR'S idling Harley shakes the parking garage walls. He stops
at a row of bikes near the escalators. John's little Honda sits
proudly with the big street bikes. Terminator parks.
43 INT. GALLERIA

OFFICER X is moving through the flow of shoppers. The place is a zoo.
He stops some kids and shows them the picture. They shrug.

43A IN A CROWDED VIDEO ARCADE JOHN is lost in an intense battle, going for
a new high score at "Missile Command". He parries deftly at the enemy
ICBMs deploy their MIRVs... the warheads stream down... it's more than
he can deal with. The world gets nuked. Game over. He slouches
away from the game, looking for another. Bored.

RACK FOCUS to Officer X passing the entrance of the store behind him.
The cop moves on, down the concourse, out of sight.
John gets in an "Afterburner" simulator game.

43B ON TERMINATOR, walking through the crowd in slow motion. Scanning.
He moves with methodical purpose, knowing the target is close. We
see that he is, incredibly, carrying a box of LONG-STEM ROSES. Like
some hopeful guy with a hot date.

43C THE COP is pointed toward the arcade by come kids hanging out at the
multi-cinema. He walks into the maze of kids engaged in synthesized
combat. Cheap electronic effects blare above the crowd noise.

43D JOHN is shooting down MiGs at Mach 2. His friend Tim slides up next
to him. Taps him on the shoulder, trying to play it cool.

TIM
Some cop is scoping for you, dude.

John looks around the corner of the "Afterburner" ride. Sees the cop
showing a picture to some of the kids. The kids point his way.

John ducks just as the cop glances over. He slinks out the other side
of the ride and heads for the back of the store, instinctively
retreating. Sarah has taught him that cops are bad news.

THE COP scans the crowded arcade. Glimpses John, looking back as he
moves around a row of machines. Starts toward him.

JOHN sees the cop homing in and starts walking fast. Looks back.
THE COP is shoving through clots of kids. One of them is slammed to
the floor. As eddy of outrage behind the cop as he gains speed.
John breaks into run. So does the cop.
Kids scatter like ten-pins as the cop charges after John.
John sprints through the arcade's back officer and store-rooms.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah's manipulation fails, leading to her sedation. The Terminator tracks John in the Galleria, engaging in a chase with him. John evades capture.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Certain character motivations could be further explored
Critique
  • The scene transitions from Dyson examining artifacts in a vault to Sarah being interviewed by Silberman in a mental hospital, creating a disjointed flow.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman lacks depth and emotional impact, making the confrontation feel flat and unengaging.
  • The introduction of Officer X and his search for John at the 7-Eleven store feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous events in the scene.
  • The sudden shift to Terminator tracking John in the mall parking lot feels rushed and lacks a smooth transition from the previous interactions.
  • The parallel actions of John in the arcade, Officer X searching for him, and Terminator approaching the mall lack cohesion and fail to build tension effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless transition between the different storylines and character interactions.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Sarah and Silberman to add depth to their conflict and make Sarah's desperation more palpable.
  • Integrate Officer X's search for John more organically into the narrative to maintain a consistent flow of events.
  • Provide a clearer connection between Terminator's pursuit of John and the unfolding events in the mall to build suspense and maintain audience engagement.
  • Focus on building tension and suspense by aligning the actions of John, Officer X, and Terminator in a more cohesive and interconnected manner.



Scene 8 -  Corridor Showdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
44 INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR

John emerges through a firedoor into a long corridor with connects
to the parking garage. He's running full out, when around the corner
ahead of him comes...

TERMINATOR. Time stretches to nightmarish crawl as John tries to
brake to a stop. Terminator reaches into the box of roses.
SLOW MOTION. The cold back steel of the SHOTGUN emerges at the box
falls open, the roses spilling to the floor. TERMINATOR'S BOOT
crushes the flowers as it moves forward.

JOHN, transfixed by terror, is trapped in the narrow featureless
shooting gallery of the corridor. THE SHOTGUN COMES UP. Terminator
expressionlessly strides forward. Jacks a round into the chamber,
slow and fluid.

John looks behind him for a place to run. Sees the cop coming toward
him, pulling his Beretta pistol. Incredibly, John realizes the cop
is aiming his gun at him!
John looks back at Terminator. He is starting into the black muzzle
of the 10-gauge now. Aimed right at his head. He realizes he's
screwed. Then something crazy happens...

TERMINATOR
Get down.

John instinctively ducks. Terminator pulls the trigger. KABOOM!

THE COP catches the SHOTGUN'S BLAST square in the chest just as he
fires the pistol. The pistol's shot goes wild.

TERMINATOR pumps another round into him. The another. And another.
Advancing a step each time he fires, he empties the shotgun into the
cop, blowing his backward down the corridor. The sound is DEAFENING.
Then silence.

THE COP lies still on his back.

44A Terminator is now standing right over John. They both watch as the
cop, incredibly, sits up unharmed and gets to his feet. Terminator
grabs John roughly by his jacket. Clutches the kid to his chest
then spins around at the cop opens fire with the Beretta.

44B The "cop", who not only isn't a cop, he clearly isn't even human,
pulls the trigger so fast it almost seems like a machine-pistol.

ON TERMINATOR'S BACK, as the 9mm slugs slam into it, punching bloody
holes in the motorcycle jacket.

JOHN is bug-eyed with fear, but completely unscratched. Terminator's
body has blocked the bullets.

The Beretta CLACKS empty. Terminator turns at the sound.
Shoves John behind a Coke machine. Drops the empty shotgun. Starts
walking toward the "cop".
The empty magazine clatters to the floor.
The cop inserts another one. Snaps back the slide.
Terminator still has twenty feet to go.
He doesn't break his purposeful stride.

The cop opens fire. Bullets rake Terminator's chest. He doesn't
even flinch.
Ten feet to go. BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM! Neither the cop nor Terminator
show the slightest change in expression as the gun rips Terminator's
wardrobe to shreds.
CLACK. The pistol empties again. Terminator stops two feet in front
of the cop. The appraise each other for a second.

We realize now that the cop is a terminator too. We don't know the
details yet, but let's call him the T-1000 (since that's what he is).
A newer model than the one we've come to know so well (the 800
Series "Arnold"). This guy's a prototype... and he's got quite a
few surprises.

T-1000 AND TERMINATOR size each other up. Terminator moves first.
He grabs T-1000 in his massive hands but the T-1000 snaps back with a
counter-grip. After about two seconds of intense slamming, the walls
on both sides of the corridor have all the plaster smashed in, and
the two battling machines have blasted through the wall and
disappeared.

JOHN, totally stunned by all this, remembers to move. He staggers to
his feet. Stumble-runs toward the parking garage.

44C THIRD LEVEL CONCOURSE. A plate glass window EXPLODES and Terminator
crashes through to the tile floor like a sack of cement amid the
screaming crowd.

44D T-1000 turns without a word and heads back through the store after
John, accelerating slowly into a loping, predatory run.

44E Terminator is totally still. A JAPANESE TOURIST cautiously steps
forward and takes a picture of the body. Suddenly, Terminator's
eyes snap open. The stunned tourist backs away.

He sits up and looks around. Gets his bearings. Rises smoothly to
his feet. All servos seem to be working fine. The tourist's camera
whirs as the motor-drive runs on by itself, taking shot after show.
The owner isn't even looking through the eyepiece, he's so shocked.

45 INT. PARKING GARAGE

John is frantically pumping the kick-start of his bike, scared
shitless and the damned thing won't start. His hands are shaking so
badly he can't find the choke. He looks up to see --
The T-1000 running down the corridor toward him.
John fumbles with the choke. The bike catches. He slams it in gear
and spins the bike out into the main aisle of the garage.

John looks back... the T-1000 is behind him, running. He twists the
throttle and guns the little bike forward. Incredibly, the T-1000
is gaining. This nightmare isn't happening. John races out the exit
ramp, and charges right into the street.

46 EXT. STREET

John shoots into the busy traffic. Cuts off a BIG-RIG TOW TRUCK.
The DRIVER swears. Hits his air horn. What the driver doesn't see
is the cop, running faster than O.J. Simpson at the airport, who
emerges onto the street and runs back at his truck.

46A IN THE TRUCK. The driver hears a thump as something slams against his
door, then feels himself pulled right out. T-1000 slides in and
takes his place. The truck is still rolling along about 25 mph.
T-1000 accelerates after John without missing a beat. It can see him,
up ahead, weaving through traffic.

46B Out of the garage entrance, Terminator roars onto the street on the
Harley.
He accelerates after the others.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense corridor encounter, John confronts two Terminators. Terminator emerges with a shotgun, protecting John from T-1000, a liquid metal Terminator that impersonated a cop. T-1000's bullets prove ineffective, leading to a fierce battle through a wall. Amidst the chaos, John escapes to the parking garage, pursued by T-1000 in a tow truck and Terminator on a motorcycle.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal dialogue
Critique
  • The scene is filled with intense action and suspense, which keeps the audience engaged.
  • The use of slow motion adds to the tension and highlights the imminent danger faced by John.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and high-stakes situation.
  • The introduction of the T-1000 as a new terminator model adds an element of surprise and intrigue to the scene.
  • The conflict between Terminator and the T-1000 is well-executed, showcasing their strength and resilience.
  • The scene effectively conveys the relentless pursuit and danger faced by John, creating a sense of urgency and desperation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for John to further connect with the audience and enhance the character development.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000 and its capabilities to build anticipation and suspense.
  • Explore the dynamics between Terminator and the T-1000 in more depth to showcase their contrasting abilities and strategies.
  • Consider incorporating dialogue or interactions between John and Terminator to add depth to their relationship and highlight their teamwork.
  • Ensure the pacing remains consistent throughout the scene to maintain the tension and keep the audience invested in the action.



Scene 9 -  The Chase
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
47 EXT. FLOOD CONTROL CHANNEL

John slides his bike down the service ramp faster than he's ever done
it before. He races along the bottom of the canal, turning into a
narrower tributary which has vertical sides.

He looks back. No sign of pursuit.
47A Suddenly he sees the sun blocked out by a great shadow.
The Kenworth tow-truck... big as a house, all chrome and roaring
diesel engine... crashes through the fence and launches itself right
into the center of the canal.

It crashes down, 15 feet to the ground, going about 60, hits at an
angle and tears into the concrete wall with a hideous grinding of
metal. It ricochets back and forth between the walls then, bellowing
like a gunshot stegosaurus, it just keep on plowing forward, gathering
speed.

47B John looks back and sees this wall of metal almost filling the narrow
concrete canal and he milks every last bit of throttle the little bike
has. The Kenworth is all muscle, tearing along the canal like a train
in a tunnel. Its big tires send up huge sheets of muddy spray,
backlit in the setting sun. It looks like some kind of demon. And...
it's gaining.

47C ABOVE THEM, on the service road running parallel, Terminator is
fighting to overtake them. He looks down and sees John with the tow-
truck from Hell catching up to him. It is only about twenty feet
behind him and still gaining.

47D ANGLE IN THE CANAL, looking back past a desperate John, at the wall
of metal filling frame behind him.

47E ABOVE, Terminator cuts the bike suddenly hard to the left, leaving the
road. Hitting an earth embankment just right, he jumps the bike into
the air like Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape" and vaults the fence
bordering the canal. It slams down at the edge of the canal and tears
along, inches from the drop-off on a dirt path, accelerating past the
truck in the canal below.

47F John hits some water and slews momentarily, loosing speed. The
massive push-plate on the front of the truck slams into his back
fender. Panicked, he pulls a little ahead. All this is happening at
about sixty miles and hour. Top speed for the little dirt bike.
47G SLOW MOTION as Terminator jumps the bike again. This time the 700-
pound Harley sails out into space and drops into the canal. It arcs
down between the truck and John, hitting on its wheels. It bottoms
out, an explosion of sparks under the frame. Only the ultra-fast
reflexes of a machine could keep the bike upright. Terminator fights
for control.

47H He guns the throttle and the powerful bike roars up beside John's tiny
Honda.
Terminator sweeps the kid off his machine with one arm and swings him
onto the Harley, in front of him. John's Honda weaves and falls,
smashing instantly under thundering tires.

The Harley roars ahead. It hits eighty. Ahead is an overpass, and
supporting it is an abutment which bisects the canal into two
channels. The Harley thunders into one channel, which is essentially
a short tunnel.

47I The truck can't fit on either side. Neither can it stop, at that
speed. Tires locked, it slides on the muddy concrete and piles into
the concrete abutment at seventy.

47J Terminator and John emerge from the tunnel, looking back to see a
fireball blasting through behind them as the truck's side-tanks
explode.

Terminator stops the Harley. John peers around his body to see the
destruction. A burning wheel wobbles out of the tunnel and flops in
the mud. Terminator revs the bike and they roar away, down the canal,
disappearing around a bend.

47K ANGLE ON THE FIRE, as a column of black smoke rises from the overpass.
Smoke boils from the tunnel as well, and inside it is a solid wall of
flame. A figure appears in the fire.
Just an outline. Walking slowly... calmly.
The figure emerges from the flames.

It is human-shaped but far from human. A smooth chrome man. Not a
servo-mechanism like Terminator is underneath, with its complex
hydraulics and cables... this thing is a featureless, liquid chrome
surface, bending seamlessly at knees and elbows as it walks. It
reminds us of mercury. A mercury man. Its face is simple, unformed.
Unruffled by thousand-degree heat, it walks toward us.

With each step detail returns.
First the shape and lines of its clothing emerge from the liquid
chrome surface, then finer details... buttons, facial features,
ears...

47K But it's still al chrome. With its last step, the color returns to
everything. It is the cop again... handsome young face, blond hair,
mustache. Icy eyes. It stops and looks around.

It is a perfect chameleon. A liquid metal robot. A killing machine
with the ultimate skills of mimicry for infiltration of human society.

47L ANGLE NEARBY, as several police cruisers and a fire truck pull up.
T-1000 climbs out of the canal behind them. More cops arrive. T-1000
blends in perfectly. There are always cops at diasters and scenes of
violence. We now see why its choice of protective mimicry is so
perfect.

It walks among the other cops unnoticed.
Gets into one of the squad cars. Starts it and drives away.

48 EXT. SIDE STREET - NIGHT

Terminator, with John in front of him on the Harley, roars down the
empty street. John cranes his neck around to get a look at the
person/thing he is riding with. The image is strangely reminiscent
of father/son, out for an evening ride.

John is still in shock from the experience of what just happened and
he's just a ten-year kid, but he's also John Connor who will someday
rise to greatness, and we see a bit of that in him even know.

JOHN
Whoa... time out. Stop the bike!

Terminator immediately complies. He leans the bike into a turn.
They head into a nearby alley.

49 EXT. ALLEY

Terminator and John rolls into the alley and come to a stop. John
slides off the gas tank. Terminator impassively stares at him. John
checks him out. Tentatively speaks.

JOHN
Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are
a terminator, right?

TERMINATOR
Yes. Cyberdyne Systems, Model 101.

JOHN
No way!

John touches Terminator's skin. Then the blood on his jacket.
His mind overloads as the reality of it hits him.

JOHN
Holy shit... you're really real! I mean...
whoah!
(stepping back)
You're, uh... like a machine underneath, right...
but sort of alive outside?

TERMINATOR
I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over
a metal endoskeleton.

JOHN
This in intense. Get a grip, John. Okay, uh...
you're not here to kill me... I figured that part
out for myself. So what's the deal?
TERMINATOR
My mission is to protect you.

JOHN
Yeah? Who sent you?

TERMINATOR
You did. Thirty years from now you reprogrammed
me to be your protector here, in this time.

John gives him an amazed look.

JOHN
This is deep.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John Connor is pursued by a Kenworth tow truck through a narrow concrete canal. Terminator arrives on a Harley and rescues John, destroying the tow truck. John initially fears Terminator but eventually accepts him as his protector.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Revelation of key plot points
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the Terminator franchise
Critique
  • The scene starts with a high-octane action sequence involving John racing down a narrow concrete canal with a massive tow-truck in pursuit. The description of the tow-truck crashing through the fence and into the canal is vivid and sets the tone for the intense chase.
  • The use of slow-motion to highlight Terminator's actions adds a dynamic element to the scene and enhances the tension as he jumps the Harley to rescue John from the oncoming tow-truck.
  • The visual imagery of the tow-truck as a 'demon' and Terminator's heroic actions to save John are well-crafted and create a sense of urgency and danger.
  • The scene effectively showcases the capabilities of the characters, with Terminator displaying his superhuman reflexes and John's quick thinking in a life-threatening situation.
  • The transition from the intense action of the chase to the aftermath of the explosion and the calm moment between Terminator and John provides a nice contrast and allows for a brief respite before the next set of events.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for John during the chase to deepen his character development and provide insight into his mindset during the high-stakes situation.
  • Explore the relationship between John and Terminator further by incorporating dialogue that delves into their growing bond and mutual trust.
  • Enhance the description of the setting to create a more immersive experience for the reader, focusing on sensory details to bring the canal chase to life.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or introspection for Terminator after the intense action sequence to humanize his character and show his evolving understanding of his mission to protect John.
  • Ensure a smooth transition to the next scene by wrapping up any loose ends or unresolved conflicts from the canal chase to maintain the narrative flow.



Scene 10 -  Deadly Deception
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
50 EXT. STREET - NIGHT

John and Terminator on the bike again, weaving through the side
streets. They blend into the evening traffic. In the darkness,
Terminator's wounds are not readily visible. John cranes his head up
and back.

JOHN
So this other guy? He's a terminator too,
right, like you?

TERMINATOR
Not like me. A T-1000. Advanced prototype.
A mimetic polyalloy.

JOHN
What does that mean?

TERMINATOR
Liquid metal.

JOHN
Radical.

TERMINATOR
You are targeted for termination. The T-1000
will not stop until it complete its mission.
Ever.

John mulls that over.

JOHN
Where we going?

TERMINATOR
We have to leave the city, immediately. And
avoid the authorities.

JOHN
Can I stop by my house?
TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000 will definitely try to
reacquire you there.

JOHN
You sure?

TERMINATOR
I would.

CUT TO:

51 EXT. PAYPHONE

John is quickly going through his pockets for change. He has plenty
of bills but no quarters.

JOHN
Look, Todd and Janelle are dicks but I gotta
warn them. Shit! You got a quarter?

Terminator reaches past John and smashes the cover plate off the
phone's cash box with the heel of his hand. A shower of change
tumbles out. Terminator hands one to John. John dials.

52 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Janelle Voight picks up the kitchen phone and cradles it with her
shoulder which she continues to chop vegetables with a large knife.
She answers sweetly.

JANELLE
Hello?

JOHN
(filtered through phone)
Janelle? It's me.

In the backyard, John's German Shepherd is going bonkers, barking at
something.

JANELLE
John? Where are you, honey? It's late. You
should come home, dear. I'm making a casserole.

AT THE PAYPHONE. John listens, an odd look on his face. He covers
the phone's mouthpiece and turns to Terminator.

JOHN
(whispering)
Something's wrong. She's never this nice.

IN THE VOIGHTS' KITCHEN. Todd comes through the kitchen's back door.
Just home from work. He ignores Janelle and opens the fridge. Grabs
a carton of milk. Takes a sip. Frowns at the dog's barking.
TODD
What the hell's the goddamn dog barking at?
SHUT UP, YOU MUTT!

TIGHT ON JANELLE as Todd growls around the kitchen behind her. He
passes OUT OF FRAME next to her. Janelle switches the phone to her
other hand then... THUNK! Her free hand seems to do something out of
frame. There is a gurgling, and the sound of liquid dribbling onto
the floor. (Don't go away. We'll find out what happened in a moment)

AT THE PAYPHONE

JOHN
The dog's really barking. Maybe it's already
there. What should I do?

Terminator takes the phone from John's hand. Janelle's voice is
floating through the receiver.

JANELLE
(filtered)
John? John, are you okay?

Terminator speaks into the phone in a perfect imitation of John's
voice...

TERMINATOR
(in John's voice)
I'm right here. I'm fine.
(to John, a whisper)
What's the dog's name?

JOHN
Max.

Terminator nods. Speaks into the phone.

TERMINATOR
Hey, Janelle, what's wrong with Wolfy? I can
hear him barking. Is he okay?

JANELLE
(filtered)
Wolfy's fine, honey. Where are you?

Terminator unceremoniously hangs up the phone. Turns to John.

TERMINATOR
Your foster parents are dead. Let's go.

Terminator heads for the bike. John, shocked, stares after him.

53 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/KITCHEN

Janelle hangs up the phone. Her expression is neutral. Calm.

PAN OVER along her arm, which is stretched out straight from the
shoulder. Partway along its length her arm has turned smoothly into
something else... a metal cylinder which tapers into a sword-like
spike. Now we see Todd Voight PINNED TO A KITCHEN CABINET by the
spike which has punched through his milk carton, through his mouth
and exits the back of his head into the cabinet door. His eyes are
glassy and lifeless.

The spike is withdrawn -- SWIISHHTT! -- so rapidly, Todd is actually
standing there a second before he slumps out of sight. THUMP.
53A Janelle doesn't bat an eye as the spike smoothly changes shape and
color, transforming back into a hand, and then...

53B JANELLE CHANGES rapidly into the COP we now know as the T-1000. The
change has liquid quality. T-1000 opens the back door.

54 EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BACKYARD - NIGHT

T-1000 approaches the big German Shepherd, which slinks away from it,
barking in fear. T-1000 walk right into CLOSE UP. Reaches down, OUT
OF FRAME. We hear that sickening THUNK followed by a shrill YELP.
Then T-1000's hand snaps up INTO FRAME holding a bloody dog collar.
The tag reads "MAX".
T-1000 nods thoughtfully. Heads back to the house.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John and the Terminator discuss the T-1000's capabilities and decide to leave the city. John calls his foster parents but realizes something is amiss. The Terminator reveals they are dead and confronts John with the truth. Meanwhile, the T-1000, disguised as a police officer, kills John's foster parents and dog.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as John and Terminator discuss the T-1000 and the imminent danger he faces.
  • The interaction between John and Terminator reveals more about the advanced capabilities of the T-1000 and the urgency of their situation.
  • The shift in tone from John's curiosity about the T-1000 to the realization of the imminent threat is well executed.
  • The scene effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming events, creating a sense of urgency and danger.
  • The revelation of John's foster parents' fate adds a shocking and impactful twist to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to John's reaction to the news about his foster parents' death to further enhance the impact of the revelation.
  • Explore the dynamic between John and Terminator further to showcase their evolving relationship and the challenges they face together.
  • Enhance the visual and auditory cues to heighten the tension and suspense in the scene, especially during the phone call with Janelle and the subsequent reveal of the T-1000.
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for John as he grapples with the decision to leave his house despite the danger, adding layers to his character development.
  • Ensure a seamless transition between the different elements of the scene, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow and pacing.



Scene 11 -  The T-1000's Abilities and Clues from the Past
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
55 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Dark. Off a quiet street. Terminator stands near the Harley,
watching John pace before him. John's brain is calling time-out.
This is all too weird.

JOHN
I need a minute here, okay? You're telling me
it can imitate anything it touches?

TERMINATOR
Anything it samples by physical contact.

John thinks about that, trying to grasp their opponent's parameters.

JOHN
Like it could disguise itself as anything...
a pack of cigarettes?

TERMINATOR
No. Only an object of equal size.

John's still reeling from meeting one terminator, which now seems
downright conventional next to the exotic new model.

JOHN
Well, why doesn't become a bomb or something to
get me?

TERMINATOR
It can't form complex machines. Guns and
explosives have chemicals, moving parts. It
doesn't work that way. But it can form solid
metal shapes.
56 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - NIGHT

T-1000 walks down the dark hall. It passes the bathroom and we see
the real Janelle's legs through the half-open door. The shower is
running. Her blood mixes with water on the white tile floor.

56A In John's bedroom the T-1000 begins searching methodically in the
dark.
Calmly and dispassionately ripping the room apart for any clues that
could lead it to its target. T-1000 finds a box of audio cassettes
marked "Messages from Mom". In it are some letters, and envelopes
filled with snapshots. It begins looking through some of the
photos...

SHOT OF JOHN AND SARAH during the missing years. Sarah in olive
cammos with an RPG 7 grenade launcher, teaching John how to aim.
Sarah with a group of military-clad Guatemalan men, standing next to
cases of Stinger missiles. John and Sarah in a Contra camp, deep in
the mountains.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John learns about the T-1000's shapeshifting powers, leading him to question its limits. Meanwhile, the T-1000 discreetly searches John's room, uncovering a box of personal items that shed light on Sarah and John's previous travels.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Revealing new and intriguing plot elements
  • Building tension and suspense effectively
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
  • Limited focus on character development in favor of plot progression
Critique
  • The scene starts with a good setup of John trying to process the information about the T-1000's abilities, but it could benefit from more emotional depth to show John's fear and confusion.
  • The dialogue between John and the Terminator is informative but lacks a sense of urgency or tension considering the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition to the T-1000 searching John's bedroom is well executed, creating a sense of impending danger and raising the stakes.
  • The visuals of the T-1000 methodically searching the room and finding the box of audio cassettes are effective in building suspense and showcasing the T-1000's relentless nature.
  • The flashback snapshots of Sarah and John during the missing years add depth to their characters and provide context for their past struggles and bond.
Suggestions
  • Add more emotional depth to John's reaction to the T-1000's abilities to heighten the tension and make the scene more engaging.
  • Consider adding more urgency and intensity to the dialogue between John and the Terminator to reflect the imminent danger they are facing.
  • Explore ways to visually enhance the scene, perhaps by incorporating suspenseful music or utilizing lighting to create a more ominous atmosphere.
  • Continue to build on the suspense by showing the T-1000's search in a more dynamic and threatening manner, emphasizing its relentless pursuit of John.
  • Utilize the flashback snapshots effectively to provide insight into Sarah and John's past while maintaining the tension of the present situation.



Scene 12 -  John Confronts Terminator's Power
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
57 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

John is now sitting on the curb, lost in stunned thought. Terminator
stands above him, watching the street like a Doberman. He glances
down at John.

JOHN
We spent a lot of time in Nicaragua... places
like that. For a while she was with this crazy
ex-Green Beret guy, running guns. Then there
were some other guys. She'd shack up with
anybody she could learn from. So then she
could teach me how to be this great military
leader. Then she gets busted and it's like...
sorry kid, your mom's a psycho. Didn't you
know? It's like... everything I'd been brought
up to believe was just made-up fantasy, right?
I hated her for that.
(he looks up)
But everything she said was true.
(he stands)
We gotta get her out of there.

TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000's highest probability for
success now would be to copy Sarah Connor and
wait for you to make contact with her.

JOHN
Oh, great. And what happens to her?

Terminator's reply is matter-of-fact.

TERMINATOR
Typically, the subject being copied is
terminated.
JOHN
TERMINATED!? Shit! Why didn't you tell me?
We gotta right now!

TERMINATOR
Negative. She is not a mission priority.

JOHN
Yeah, well fuck you, she's a priority to me!

John strides away. Terminator goes after him and grabs him arm.
John struggles against the grip. Which doesn't do him much good.

JOHN
Hey, goddammit! What's your problem?

Starts dragging John back to the bike. John spots a couple of
collage-age slab-o-meat JOCK-TYPES across the street and starts
yelling to them.

JOHN
Help! HELP!! I'm being kidnapped! Get this
psycho off of me!

The TWO JOCKS start toward him. John yells in outrage to Terminator.

JOHN
Let go of me!!

To his surprise, Terminator's hand opens so fast John falls right on
his butt.
He looks up at the open hand.

JOHN
Oww! Why'd you do that?

TERMINATOR
You told me to.

John stares at him in amazement as he realizes...

JOHN
You have to do what I say?!

TERMINATOR
That is one of my mission parameters.

JOHN
Prove it... stand on one foot.

Terminator expressionlessly lifts one leg.
John grins. He's the first on his block...

JOHN
Cool! My own terminator. This is great!
The two guys get there and look at Terminator standing there calmly
with one leg up in the air. This big guy in black leather and dark
glasses, standing like a statue.

FIRST JOCK
Hey, kid. You okay?

John turns to him. No longer needing to be rescued.

JOHN
Take a hike, bozo.

FIRST JOCK
Yeah? Fuck you, you little dipshit.

JOHN
Dipshit? Did you say dipshit?!
(to Terminator)
Grab this guy.

Terminator complies instantly, hoisting him one-handed by the collar.
the guy's legs are pinwheeling.

JOHN
Now who's the dipshit, you jock douchebag?

Immediately, things get out of hand. The guy's friend jumps behind
Terminator and tries to grab him in a full nelson --
Terminator throws the first guy across the hood of a car --
Grabs the second by the hair, whips out his .45 in a quick blur, and
aims the muzzle at the guy's forehead.
John grabs Terminator's arm with a yell as he pulls the trigger --
John's weight is just enough to deflect the gun a few inches. The
guy flinches, stunned by the K-BOOM next to his ear. He stares,
shocked. Pissing himself. John is freaking out, too.
He screams at Terminator.

JOHN
Put the gun down! NOW!!

Terminator sets the .45 on the sidewalk. John scoops it up fast then
turns to the shocked civilians, who can't believe what just happened.

JOHN
Walk away.

They do. Fast. John grabs Terminator by the arm and tugs him toward
the bike. John still holds the gun, reluctant to give it back.

JOHN
Jesus... you were gonna kill that guy!

TERMINATOR
Of course. I'm a terminator.

John stares at him. Having your own terminator just became a little
bit less fun to him.
JOHN
Listen to me, very carefully, okay? You're not
a terminator any more. Alright? You got that?
You can't just go around killing people!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
Whattaya mean, why? 'Cause you can't!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
You just can't, okay? Trust me on this.

Terminator doesn't get it. John just stares at him. Frightened at
what just almost happened. He gets a glimpse of the responsibility
that comes with power. Finally he hands the .45 back to Terminator,
who puts it away.

JOHN
Look, I'm gonna go get my mom. You wanna come
along, that's fine with me.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a tense parking lot confrontation, John and Terminator witness suspicious men. John's call for help leads to a fight with Terminator's intervention. Horrified by Terminator's violent actions, John orders him to cease killing. Terminator complies, prompting John to realize the gravity of power. John declares Terminator's purpose has changed, forbidding him from taking lives.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Moral dilemmas
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence
  • Complex moral themes may be challenging for some viewers to follow
Critique
  • The scene starts with John reflecting on his past and his complicated relationship with his mother, Sarah Connor. This introspection adds depth to John's character and provides insight into his emotional journey.
  • The interaction between John and the Terminator showcases their evolving dynamic, with John asserting his own priorities and the Terminator following his commands. This dynamic shift is intriguing and sets up potential conflicts and growth for both characters.
  • The escalation of the situation with the jock-types adds tension and action to the scene, but the sudden violence and use of a gun may feel jarring or out of character for John, especially considering his age and background.
  • The moment where John realizes he has control over the Terminator and tests this power is a pivotal moment in their relationship. It highlights the theme of power and responsibility, which is a crucial aspect of the Terminator franchise.
  • The scene ends with John trying to assert his moral values on the Terminator, emphasizing the importance of not killing people. This moral dilemma sets up a compelling conflict for both characters moving forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the sudden escalation of violence with the jock-types to align better with John's character and age. Perhaps explore alternative ways for John to assert his authority over the situation.
  • Further explore the emotional impact on John after the near-violent encounter, delving into his internal struggle with the power he wields over the Terminator.
  • Develop the theme of power and responsibility by continuing to challenge John and the Terminator's understanding of morality and ethics throughout the script.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and actions of the characters remain consistent with their established personalities and arcs, especially when dealing with complex moral dilemmas.
  • Consider adding moments of reflection or introspection for the Terminator to showcase his evolving understanding of human values and emotions.



Scene 13 -  Sarah Connor's Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
58 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BEDROOM - NIGHT

T-1000 finds an envelope... a letter from Sarah to John sent since
she's been at Pescadero State Hospital. It reads the return address
on the envelope. It has what it needs. It picks up a tape player
and the battered shoebox full of Sarah's tapes and exits.

CUT TO:

59 CLOSE ON A BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPH. The image is a nightmare from
the past. It is a surveillance camera still-frame from the L.A.
police station where the first terminator made such an impression in
1984. We see the blurry forms of the cop frozen in the emergency
lights of a burning corridor.

A black-clad figure stands at the end of the corridor. The guy has
short-cropped hair and dark glasses. An AR-80 assault rifle in one
hand, and a 12-gauge in the other -- holding them both like toy
pistols.
ANOTHER PHOTO is slapped on top of the first. Another still-frame
blow-up is placed over the last. Terminator looms in CLOSEUP.

DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY (O.S.)
These were taken at the West Highland police
station in 1984. You were there.

WIDER. We're in --
59A INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/PESCADERO - NIGHT

The photos are lying on the table in front of Sarah, placed there by
DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY. His partner DET. MOSSBERG, and Dr. Silberman,
sit at the table as well. Two uniformed cops, plus Douglas, stand by
the door. Sarah stares listlessly at the top photo. She's
withdrawn, haggard... drugged-looking.

MOSSBERG
He killed seventeen police officers that night.
Recognize him?

Weathersby slaps another black-and-white eight-by-ten on the table.
A closeup of Terminator taken by the Japanese tourist at the mall.
It's the same face.

MOSSBERG
This one was taken by a Japanese tourist today.

Sarah doesn't react. It's hard to tell she's thinking. Whether she's
up hope or is just in a drugged stupor.

WEATHERSBY
Ms. Connor, you've been told that your son's
missing. His foster parents have been murdered,
and we know this guy's involved. Talk to us.
Don't you care?

Sarah stares up at him. A cold and empty stare. He glances at
Silberman.
Then at his partner.

MOSSBERG
We're wasting out time.

One of the uniformed cops opens the door and Mossberg strides into
the hall. Weathersby and the two uniforms follow him out, with
Silberman right behind.

SILBERMAN
Sorry, gentleman...

TIGHT ON SARAH, slumped under the bright lights. Totally out of it.
Then we see her hand, creeping along the edge of the table toward the
stack of photos. She slips off the paper clip binding the stills
together, and hides it between her fingers. Douglas jerks her up by
the arms and leads her out.

CUT TO:

60 INT. SARAH'S CELL

Douglas inches up the last of Sarah's restraints. Then her leans
over her... looking down. Even wrecked as she is, we see the beauty
in her face. He bends down. We think he's going to kiss her.
Instead he runs his tongue across her face like a dog would. She
seems not to even see him. Her dull eyes past him. He can't
provoke a reaction. Even here, strapped down, the two of them alone,
she give him no superiority. He smirks and leaves. We hear the
sound of his night-stick tapping its way down the corridor, growing
fainter.

Sarah's eyes snap suddenly alert. There is intensity and resolve in
them. She slips the paper clip out from between her fingers and
awkwardly spreads it open into a straight piece of wire. With slow,
painful concentration she moves it toward the lock of the restraints
that bind her wrists to the bed at her sides.

CUT TO:

61 EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Terminator and John charge through the night on the Harley.
Streetlights flare past them like comets. Two serious guys with a
mission. One a ten-year old kid, the other a half-man/half-machine
cyborg from the post-Apocalyptic future.

CUT TO:

62 INT. SARAH'S CELL

TIGHT ON RESTRAINT LOCK as it unlatches... successfully picked by
Sarah's paper clip. This is not an easy thing to do. But Sarah
taught herself a lot of things in her years of hiding.

SARAH, her hands free, sits up and releases the Velcro straps on her
feet. She rolls off the bed and we see her in a whole new light.
She is totally alert, almost feral in her movements.

CUT TO:

63 EXT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

GUARD SHACK. A bored security guard glances up as an LAPD black-and-
white pulls up. He raises the barricade and nods at the T-1000/cop
as it passes.

THE CRUISER pulls in next to the other police vehicles. The T-1000
walks toward the main entrance.

CUT TO:

64 INT. SARAH'S CELL/CORRIDOR

Sarah is using the paper clip on the door lock. She hears an echoing
tapping sound. It's getting louder, coming her way. She goes back
to work on the lock.

65 IN THE CORRIDOR. Douglas the attendant is tapping his stick along
the wall like he does every night on his rounds. He shines a little
mag-light in the windows of the cells as he passes, barely slowing.

65A He rounds the corner. His footsteps echo in the dark hallway.
The tip of the stick hits the wall.
Tap, tap, tap... getting closer to Sarah's cell. He stops at the
door. He is about to shine his light in when he notices that a
utility closet across the hall is open. He goes to shut it,
absently flicking his light into the dark closet. He notices
something strange among the buckets and cleaning supplies. A mop lies
on the floor, with its handle snapped off about halfway up. The
other half is missing.

Douglas ponders this for half a second, then hears a SOUND behind him
and spins around. The sound he heard was Sarah's cell door.
The missing two feet of MOP HANDLE fill his vision as it CRACKS
viciously across the bridge of his nose.

250 pounds of doughy attendant hit the floor like a sack of cement.
Sarah slams the makeshift baton down expertly across the back of his
head, bouncing him off the linoleum. Lights out, Douglas.
She drags him into her cell and locks him in with his own keys. Then
swaps her mop-handle for his nice heavy night-stick.

65B Sarah moves down the dark corridor, cat-stepping in her bare feet.
She holds the baton like a pro, laid back along the forearm, police-
style. She looks dangerous.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor escapes her cell at Pescadero State Hospital, while the T-1000, disguised as a police officer, retrieves her address and approaches the hospital. Sarah prepares to confront the T-1000 with a nightstick.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Intense action sequences
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the T-1000 finding the envelope to Sarah in her cell picking the lock, which can be a bit disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Detective Weathersby and Sarah lacks depth and emotion, making it difficult for the audience to connect with Sarah's internal struggles.
  • The visual description of Sarah picking the lock and freeing herself could be more detailed to enhance the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • The transition from Sarah's escape to Terminator and John riding through the night on the Harley feels disjointed and could benefit from a smoother segue.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and stakes, especially considering Sarah's escape and the T-1000's presence in the hospital.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the T-1000 finding the envelope and Sarah picking the lock to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Detective Weathersby and Sarah to delve deeper into Sarah's emotional state and internal conflict.
  • Provide more vivid and detailed visuals of Sarah's escape to heighten the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • Work on creating a stronger connection between the different elements of the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative and sense of urgency.
  • Consider adding more stakes and consequences to the scene to increase the tension and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 14 -  The Infiltration
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
66 INT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE/CORRIDOR

A long corridor ends at a reception area, which is closed, and a
NIGHT RECEIVING DESK, which is a glass window where they can buzz you
in through a heavy door. A NIGHT NURSE types at a desk nearby. She
looks up at the sound of footsteps and sees a young cop (T-1000)
walking toward her.

T-1000
You have a Sarah Connor here?

She assumes he's with the other cops. Smiles.

NIGHT NURSE
Running late, aren't you?

She turns to the inner door to buzz him in and sees Silberman and the
cops coming toward the door from the other side.

NIGHT NURSE
Your friends are on their way out now...

When she turns back to the window, T-1000's no longer there. She
goes to the counter and leans out to see if he's at the drinking
fountain or someplace. No. Reception is empty. And so is the long
corridor beyond. She frowns. Too weird.

66A Silberman comes through the solenoid door with Mossberg and
Weathersby, the two uniformed cops, and the hospital security guard.
The guard retrieves his 9mm pistol from a lock-out box behind the
night desk. Silberman faces him.

SILBERMAN
Lewis, see these gentleman out and them lock
up for the night.
The security guard nods. Silberman goes back into the secure area of
the hospital and the cops walk down the long corridor to the main
doors. No sign of T-1000. Mossberg and the other cops exit, and
the guard locks the door behind them.

66B The guard walks slowly back along the long corridor. The hall is
dark, with the light at the night desk far ahead like a sanctuary.
His footsteps ring hollowly on the tile floor. His keys jingle.

66C ANGLE ON FLOOR as the guard's feet pass through FRAME. An instant
later the floor starts to move.
It shivers and bulges upward like a liquid mass, still retaining the
two-tone checkerboard of the tile. It hunches up silently into a
quivering shadow in the darkness past the guard.

66D Up ahead we hear typing. The night nurse has her back to us, working.
The guard stops as the drinking fountain. Bends to take a sip.
Behind him the fluid mass as reaches six feet of height and begins to
resolve rapidly into a human figure. It loses the color and texture
of the tile and becomes... THE GUARD.

T-1000's mass has been spread out a quarter of an inch thick over
several square yards of floor. The guard walked over the T-1000, and
his structure was sampled that instant. Now we see it drawing in and
pulling up to form the figure of the guard.

The T-1000/Guard's feet are the last to form, the last of the "liquid
floor" pulling in to form shiny black guard shoes. The shoes detach
with a faint sucking sound from the real floor as the T-1000/Guard
takes its first step.

66E The real guard spins at the sound of footsteps to see... himself.
He has one deeply disturbing moment to consider the ramifications of
that. Then he sees his double calmly raise its hand and,
inexplicably, points his right index finger directly at the real
guard's face, about a foot away. In a split second, the finger
spears out, elongating into a thin steel rod which snaps out like a
stiletto, slamming into the guard's eye.
It punches into the corner of the eye, past the eyeball like a trans-
orbital lobotomy tool, and emerges from the back of the guard's skull.

Life quietly empties from the guard's face. He is dead weight,
hanging from the rod/finger with suddenly reacts -- SSSNICK. As the
guard slumps, the T-1000 takes his weight easily with one hand and
walks him, like it's carrying a suit on a hanger, back toward the
night desk. The wounds are so tiny, no blood drips onto the floor.

66F ON THE NIGHT NURSE, glancing up as the T-1000/Guard walks past,
dragging something casually which she can't see because it's below
the countertop.

NIGHT NURSE
Whatcha got, Lewis?

T-1000/GUARD
Just some trash.
She nods, uninterested. Keeps typing. T-1000 moves past, dragging
the unseen guard toward a closet down the hall from the night
receiving station. T-1000/Guard removes the Browning High-Power
pistol and the keys from the real guard's belt, then stuffs the body
into the utility closet.

66G INT. CORRIDOR/NIGHT RECEIVING DESK

T-1000/Guard comes back out and glances at the nurse.

T-1000/GUARD
All set.

She glances toward it. Sees the Beretta in its holster.

NIGHT NURSE
Gotta check the gun first, Lewis.

T-1000/GUARD
Yeah, sorry.

T-1000 opens the locker and blocks it from her view with its body as
it mimes putting the gun in.

66H CLOSE ANGLE ON T-1000'S CHEST, from inside the locker. Instead of
setting the gun in the locker, it inserts the pistol into it own
chest, where is disappears inside like it was dropped into a pot of
hot fudge. It withdraws its hand. The chest is once again a surface
that looks like cloth, buttons, name-tag etc. You'd ever guess it was
really an intelligent liquid metal.

T-1000 slams the locker door and waits as the nurse hits the button
unlocking the door with a BUZZ-CLACK. T-1000/Guard goes through.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary A police officer, later revealed to be the liquid metal robot T-1000, arrives at a hospital searching for Sarah Connor. The night nurse mistakes him for one of the other officers who had already left. As the night nurse leaves, the T-1000 kills a security guard and takes his place. Using the guard's uniform and keys, T-1000 gains access to the hospital, leaving the true killer's fate unknown.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Minimal character development
  • Limited dialogue
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the use of a dark, empty hospital setting and the mysterious actions of the T-1000.
  • The visual descriptions of the T-1000's liquid metal abilities are vivid and engaging, creating a sense of unease and danger.
  • The scene effectively conveys the T-1000's ruthless and efficient nature through its actions, such as mimicking the guard and swiftly dispatching him.
  • The dialogue is minimal but impactful, with the T-1000's calm demeanor contrasting with the escalating tension of the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the T-1000's infiltration and establishes a sense of impending danger for the characters involved.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from the Night Nurse to enhance the sense of unease and suspense in the scene.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the guard's death on the Night Nurse to further highlight the ruthlessness of the T-1000.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the reader in the dark and eerie atmosphere of the hospital setting.
  • Add a brief moment of reflection or reaction from the T-1000 after successfully infiltrating the hospital to further establish its calculated and methodical nature.
  • Consider adding a subtle hint or foreshadowing of the T-1000's next move to build anticipation for the upcoming conflict.



Scene 15 -  Hospital Infiltration and Subduing
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
67 INT. ISOLATION SECURITY CHECKPOINT

A small room before a short SALLY-PORT corridor designed to prevent
violent inmates from making a run for it. There are doors at each
end. The first one is barred like a jail-cell door, and the second
is a steel fire door. The attendants have a video monitor with which
they can see the corridor on the other side of the doors.

The two bored attendants barely notice the T-1000/Guard as it
approaches. Looks briefly at a chart next to the door, seeing
SARAH CONNOR is in #19.

67A IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 passes a nurses' station which looks
a cage, walled in by heavy metal mesh. Silberman, leaning in the open
doorway, is talking to an attendant in the cage. He doesn't glance
twice at Lewis the Guard passing by.

68 SARAH, moving like a ghost in the darkened corridor, hears footsteps
coming and quietly but quickly unlocks a cell next to her with
Douglas' master key.
68A She slips into the cell and waits as the footsteps pass.
We glimpse the T-1000/Guard pass the window.
She waits as the footsteps fade away. She looks over. A female
inmate, strapped to a bed, watches her with bird-like eyes. She puts
a finger to her lips -- SSHHH. The inmate nods. Sarah exits.

68B POV MOVING TOWARD nurse's station. We hear Silberman's voice,
reviewing medication with the night attendant.

ON SILBERMAN, yawning, looking at his watch.
He turns to go... Sarah is there.
She slams into him, hurling him through the door into the cage and
follows him in. The orderly jumps up, going for his stunner, but she
nails him with Douglas' baton. WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! You can barely see
the thing she's swinging it so fast. The guys goes down.

Silberman lunges for the alarm button and she cracks down hard on his
arm. He cries out and grabs his wrist.
She grabs him by the hair and slams him face down on the desk,
smacking him behind the knees expertly with the baton.
His legs buckle and he drops to his knees with his chin on the desk.
She pins him with one hand. He face is full of outraged disbelief.

SILBERMAN
You broke my arm!

SARAH
There's 215 bones in the human body, motherfucker.
That's one. Now don't move!

68B Moving rapidly, she whips open a medication drawer and grabs a
syringe.
They keep a few of these handy for tranking unruly patients. She
jams it into the orderly's butt and fires the whole shot. Still
holding the empty syringe, she sees what she need next.
They keep the toxic cleaning supplies in here to keep the inmates from
drinking Drano. She grabs a plastic jug of LIQUID PLUM'R and slams
it down on the desk inches from Silberman's eyes.

She jams the empty syringe into the plastic jug.
Draws back the plunger. The syringe fills with blue liquid.
She whips it out of the jug and jams the needle into Silberman's neck.
His horrified eyes rack toward it. 10 cc's of blue death fill the
cylinder.
Her thumb hovers over the plunger.
She jerks him to his feet by the collar and gets a tight grip on him,
then hauls him through the door.

69 IN THE CORRIDOR outside cell #19 the T-1000 stops and looks in the
window. Douglas, his face a bloody mess, yells to be heard.

DOUGLAS
Open the door! The goddamn bitch is loose in
the halls!

To Douglas' amazement, Lewis the Guard turns impassively and walks
away, leaving him shouting soundlessly at the window.
CUT TO:

70 EXT. HOSPITAL

Terminator and John are approaching the guard gate on the Harley.
They can see the guard inside looks up at the sound of the engine.

JOHN
Now remember, you're not gonna kill anyone,
right?

TERMINATOR
Right.

John looks at him. He's not convinced.

JOHN
Swear.

TERMINATOR
What?

JOHN
Just say "I swear I won't kill anyone."

John holds his hand up, like he's being sworn in. Terminator stares
at John a beat. Then mimics the gesture.

TERMINATOR
I swear I will not kill anyone.

Terminator stops the bike and gets off.
The guard, sensing trouble, has his gun drawn as he comes out of the
shack. Terminator walks toward him drawing his .45 smoothly. BLAM!
He shoots the guard accurately in the thigh.
The guy drops, screaming and clutching his leg.
Terminator kicks the guard's gun away, then smashes the phone in the
shack with his fist. He pushes the button to raise the gate and walks
back to the bike.

TERMINATOR
He'll live.

Terminator climbs onto the bike. They drive toward the hospital,
heading down an ambulance ramp to an underground receiving area.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor, disguised as a guard, infiltrates the isolation ward to rescue John Connor and subdues Silberman and an orderly. The T-1000 approaches the isolation ward but doesn't interact with Sarah. Meanwhile, the Terminator and John Connor enter the hospital through the underground receiving area.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Pacing may be too fast in some moments
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with Sarah Connor taking matters into her own hands to subdue Silberman and the orderly.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman is impactful, showcasing Sarah's determination and strength in the face of danger.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a sense of urgency and tension in the scene.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense as Sarah prepares to confront her pursuers and take control of the situation.
  • The actions of the T-1000/Guard in the hospital add an element of danger and urgency to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to provide insight into her mindset during the confrontation.
  • Explore the aftermath of Sarah's actions on her character development and relationships with other characters.
  • Enhance the pacing of the scene by adding more dynamic movement or interactions between characters.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000/Guard to deepen the audience's understanding of its motives and capabilities.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the tense atmosphere of the isolation ward.



Scene 16 -  Escape from the Isolation Floor
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
71 INT. ISOLATION FLOOR

The attendants at the security checkpoint look up at the monitor as
someone enters the corridor. They see Sarah, holding Silberman at
syringe-point.
Sarah speaks to them through an intercom on the wall. Her voice
comes through the speaker.

SARAH
Open it or he'll be dead before he hits the
floor.
The attendants' adrenaline levels just went off the scale. The first
attendant shakes him head no. The amperage here is really high. The
second attendant keys the intercom switch.

2ND ATTENDANT
There's no way, Connor. Let him go.

Silberman's face is the color of suet.

SILBERMAN
It won't work, Sarah. You're no killer. I don't
believe you'd do it.

Her voice is a deadly cold hiss.

SARAH
You're already dead, Silberman. Everybody here
dies. You know I believe that. So don't fuck
with me!

SILBERMAN
Open the goddamn door!

The attendants looks at one another. One of them hits the solenoid
button. The far door unlocks.

71A IN THE LOCKOUT CORRIDOR. Sarah pushes Silberman ahead of her.
The nearer, barred door must be unlocked manually.
One of the attendants cautiously approaches. Nervously unlocks it.

SARAH
Step back!

He does. She faces both of them.

SARAH
Down on the floor! Now!

They comply. She comes through with Silberman, giving them a wide
berth. Starts backing down the hall away from them, still holding
her hostage. She's actually pulling this off.

71B ANGLE FROM BEHIND HER. What we can see, but she can't see, it a
third orderly waiting just around the corner. He's poised, ready to
jump her when she comes abreast of him.

ON SARAH backing up. She reaches the corner.
The third attendant lunges, grabbing her syringe-hand.
Sarah spins on the orderly and catches him across the throat with the
nightstick. He loses interest fast, dropping to his knees and
gagging. Silberman pulls away, screaming at the top of his lungs

SILBERMAN
Get her!

They scramble up as Sarah takes off like a shot around the corner.
One of them hits the panic button and ALARMS begin to sound.
72 IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 is looking in at a very stoned
attendant inside the nurses' station when the alarms shriek through
the halls. It reaches into its chest and pulls out the 9mm pistol.
Heads for the security entrance.

73 IN ANOTHER CORRIDOR in the maze of the vast hospital, Sarah flies
past us, her bare feet slapping on the cold tiles. The orderlies
charge after her.
She's like an animal in a maze. She turns the corner, glancing off
the wall, and sprints on without slowing. She reaches a steel door.
Tries it. Locked.
Footsteps like a drum solo behind her.

She fumbles with Douglas' keys, breathing hard. Jams the master in.
The orderlies are bearing down on her at full tilt.
Sarah gets the door open. Dives through. Slams it.
She turns a deadbolt knob just as the first orderly grabs the latch
on the other side. He's too late.

Sarah sees them beyond the window, fumbling with their keys.

73A Sarah is in another sally-port corridor. A jail-cell type barred
door is between her and the corridors of the ward beyond.
She sprints to the walls of bars, jams her key into the door.
She unlocks and pulls open this door just as she hears the latch of
the one she just came through being unlocked.

She flings herself frantically through the barred door as the first
orderly comes through behind her.
She slams the bars shut. CLANG.
Her keys are dangling from the lock on the other side from her.
The orderly is racing at her, white-lipped with rage.

She reaches back through the bars, turns the key, and purposefully
snaps it off in the lock. An instant later the big orderly slams
against the door, grabbing through the bars for her as she dances
back just out of reach.
He lunges against the steel bars, unbelievably pissed off.

Sarah takes off running, looking back at the frustrated orderlies.
They're shouting at each other, unable to fit their keys into the
lock --
The broken-off key tip makes it impossible to get their keys in.
Silberman shouts at them.

SILBERMAN
Go around, goddamnit! Go around!!

The orderlies run back the way they came, and along a cross-corridor
to another set of doors.

73B ON SARAH as she rounds a corner and sees the elevators ahead.
Now she's home-free. At a full-tilt sprint, she's nearly there when
the elevator doors part...

TERMINATOR steps out... his head swivels to face her.
Sarah reacts, stricken by the image from her worst nightmares.
Her eyes go wide as momentum carries her forward.
Her bare feet slip on the slick tile. She slams to the floor,
staring up at the leather-clad figure with the shotgun.

She loses all semblance of courage and some of her sanity.
She's not even aware that she is screaming, or what would be
screaming if she could get the breath to do it.
In slowed-down dream-time, Sarah scrambles back along the floor like a
crab, spinning and clawing her way to her feet along the wall.

She runs like the wind, like in her nightmare. If she looked back she
would have seen John step warily out of the corridor behind
Terminator. John, however, catches a glimpse of the fleeing Sarah and
figures out instantly what happened.

JOHN
Mom!! Wait!

Sarah doesn't hear. She has clicked fully into her own nightmare.
They take off running after Sarah.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah takes Silberman hostage and forces the attendants to open the door. She pushes Silberman ahead of her and forces the attendants to lie down on the floor. She hits an orderly with a nightstick and runs away. She finds a steel door and unlocks it, slamming it shut and turning a deadbolt. She runs to another set of doors and unlocks them, slamming the bars shut and snapping the key off in the lock. She runs to the elevators, but the Terminator steps out and points a shotgun at her. Sarah screams and runs away, with the Terminator and John in pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue in moments of high tension
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a good build-up of tension as Sarah holds Silberman at syringe-point to gain access to the security checkpoint.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman is effective in showcasing Sarah's determination and the high stakes of the situation.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a sense of urgency and danger, especially as Sarah navigates the hospital corridors and outwits the orderlies.
  • The introduction of the T-1000 adds an additional layer of suspense and danger to the scene, as it approaches the isolation ward while Sarah is on the run.
  • The scene effectively sets up a chase sequence with Sarah desperately trying to escape the pursuing orderlies and the looming threat of the T-1000.
  • The moment when Terminator steps out of the elevator adds a chilling and dramatic twist, heightening the tension and fear for Sarah's safety.
  • The scene effectively transitions from a tense standoff to a high-speed chase, keeping the audience engaged and on the edge of their seats.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to further explore her mindset and motivations during this high-stress situation.
  • Provide more context or background information on why Sarah is so determined to escape and what drives her to take such drastic actions.
  • Explore the dynamic between Sarah and the T-1000 further to enhance the cat-and-mouse aspect of their pursuit.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to immerse the reader in the hospital setting and enhance the atmosphere of urgency and danger.
  • Ensure a clear and smooth transition between the different elements of the scene, especially as the tension escalates and the stakes increase.



Scene 17 -  Deadly Encounter in the Hospital
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
73C She is pelting down the long corridor, back the way she came. As she
reaches an intersection with a cross-corridor a white-clad figure
blurs from that corridor. The orderly hits her in a flying tackle.
She skids across the floor, shrieking and struggling. The other two
orderlies leap into the fray.

SARAH
No! Help me! Goddamnit, it's gonna kill us
all!!!

She is shouting, pleading, trying to get them to understand what is
coming. They grab her thrashing arms and legs. They don't even look
where the out-of-control woman is pointing... back along the corridor.

They have pinned her to the cold tiles, a ring of faces above her.
Silberman leans down to her, holding a syringe with a heavy dose of
trank. Sarah cranes her neck and sees the dark silhouette of
Terminator coming up behind them. It is exactly her nightmare.
She screams in utter hopelessness.

Terminator, holding the shotgun in one hand, reaches down and grabs
one of the orderlies with his other hand. He hurls the 200-pound
guys against the far wall of the corridor. SMACK! He drops to the
floor.
The other two orderlies react instantly, leaping onto the intruder.
Terminator seems to disappear for a moment under the two big guys.
Then there is an explosion of white-clad figures, as the orderlies are
flung outward like they stepped on a land mine.
One crashes through a window of safety glass and is caught before a
two-story fall by the outer steel bars. The other crashes through an
office door, splintering it into kindling.

Silberman has jumped to hold Sarah. He is grabbed by a roll of skin
at the back of his neck and lifted like a cat. The doctor feel his
feet pedaling above the ground. He looks into the expressionless
face. And it hit him. Sarah was right... this guy isn't human.
He feels the fabric of reality crumbling.
Then he feels himself flying through the air. The wall smacks him,
then the floor kicks him in the face. He decides to lie there a
second.

Sarah blinks, staring up at the figure looming over her.
John kneels next to her.

JOHN
Mom, are you okay?

She looks from Terminator to John. Back to Terminator.
Is this a nightmare? Or has she finally gone truly bad?

Incredibly, Terminator politely reaches his hand down to her, offering
to help her up. The last thing she ever expected to see.

TERMINATOR
Come with me if you want to live.

The orderlies are stirring.

JOHN
It's all right, Mom. He's here to help.

Sarah, is a daze, takes the huge hand in her shaking fingers.
Terminator lifts her to her feet.

73D John sees a GUARD standing thirty feet away, on the other side of the
walls of bars. John doesn't know what we know, but he knows
something's not right with this guy. Terminator turns to follow
John's gaze.
The T-1000 had its pistol in its hand, at its side.
Terminator pushes John behind him. They start backing up.

73E The T-1000 walks forward, reaching the bars. It doesn't stop.
Its body divides like jello around the bars. As it squeezes itself
through like metal playdough, its surface reforms perfectly on our
side. We see it deform and squeeze through like a viscous paste
forced past an obstacle.
Silberman has recovered enough to be sitting up and watching this.
That faint snapping sound is his mind.
There is a CLANK and we see that the guard's gun has caught against
the bars... the only solid object. The T-1000 turns its wrist and
tries again, slipping the gun endwise through the gap.

73F Sarah is agape. Not reacting. It's been a heavy day for her.
Terminator grabs John by the seat of his pants and hooks him up onto
his back. John grabs him around the neck. Terminator raises the
shotgun and starts backing up.

TERMINATOR
Go! Run!

Sarah doesn't need to be told twice.
T-1000 walks toward them, opening fire with the Browning Hi-Power.
Terminator straight-arms the 12-guage like a pistol and FIRES.
The stunned orderlies flop face down on the floor as the corridor is
filled with high-velocity lead. One of them, stupidly running for the
cross-corridor, gets hit by the T-1000.
Terminator is hammered by several slugs, and the T-1000 is cratered
by two buckshots hits. It staggers, but comes on. In the craters
we see bright mercury before they close and reseal, disappearing in a
second.

73G Terminator makes it around the corner and breaks into a run. Ahead,
Sarah is already at the elevator. Terminator and John pile in and
John slaps the button for "Garage Level".

The doors start to close. T-1000 clears the corner.
Terminator slams John and Sarah back against the side walls as the
T-1000 charges at them, rapid firing the Browning.
The rounds hit the steel doors as they close.
T-1000 keeps pumping them at the closing gap.
73H Inside, they see the backside of the doors denting with the hits that
are punching holes in the other side.

73I The Browning locks open, empty. T-1000 drops it without a glance
back. The doors close. K-WHAM! The T-1000 hits them a split second
later. The elevator hasn't moved yet. SSWWIKK!

73J A sword-like blade rams through in between the doors, forcing them
open. Terminator jams the shotgun through the widening gap. Punches
the muzzle right INTO T-1000's face -- BOOM!!
73K We get a glimpse of the T-1000's head blown apart by the blast. It
is hurtled back. The doors close. The car descends.

73L ON THE T-1000, outside the elevator. Its head, which is blown apart
into two doughy masses lying on the shoulders, reforms quickly.
There is no trace of the injury. It sees the closed door and jams its
hands between them, its fingertips becoming pry-bars. It pulls the
doors apart with inhuman strength
73M and LEAPS INTO THE OPEN SHAFT.
It falls two floors and...
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor, haunted by a vision of a metal humanoid, desperately tries to warn orderlies of its impending danger but is met with disbelief. John Connor and the Terminator arrive, engaging in a battle that exposes the Terminator's true nature. The T-1000, a relentless pursuer, exhibits its liquid-like abilities and relentlessly chases Sarah and her companions, testing their limits and setting the stage for a thrilling escape.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotionally charged moments
  • Unexpected character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a lot of physical conflict and tension between the characters.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the urgency and danger of the situation, especially Sarah's pleas for help and Terminator's iconic line 'Come with me if you want to live.'
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help to create a sense of chaos and danger in the hospital setting.
  • The transformation of the T-1000 through the bars is a visually striking moment that adds to the suspense and threat of the scene.
  • The scene effectively showcases Sarah's desperation and determination to survive, as well as Terminator's protective instincts towards John and Sarah.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to further explore her mindset and the trauma she's experiencing.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000 and its abilities to enhance the audience's understanding of the threat it poses.
  • Explore the dynamic between John, Sarah, and Terminator further to deepen their relationships and character development.
  • Consider adding more strategic elements to the action sequence to showcase the characters' intelligence and resourcefulness in overcoming obstacles.
  • Ensure the pacing of the scene is consistent to maintain the tension and momentum throughout.



Scene 18 -  Elevator Assault
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
74 IN THE ELEVATOR. Out trio hears a loud THUMP on the roof.
Terminator, reloading the shotgun, looks up.
Sarah grabs the .45 from his waistband and aims it at the ceiling.
BEAT...
Then CLANGG!! a swordlike shaft punches through the ceiling and spears
down four feet into the elevator car.
It is inches from Sarah's face.
She opens fire, BAM-BAM-BAM -- right through the roof.
Lighting-fast the lance withdraws and thrusts down again, slashing
Terminator's jacket, and missing John by inches.
Terminator chambers a round and K-BOOM! the 12-guage opens a hole in
the ceiling.
Terminator rocks out in a fury of firing/cocking/firing as the metal
shafts slash down again and again. Sarah yells in pain as one of them
slices open her upper arm.

75 The doors open. Sarah pulls John out as soon as the gap is wide
enough.
They emerge into the basement. We see the Harley parked nearby.
Terminator, in a rearguard action, fires another blast through the
ceiling and runs out. He throws his leg over the Harley, kicks it to
life with one powerful stroke and then whips something out of the
inner pocket of his jacket. He throws it to John. A road flare!?

76 In the elevator, the T-1000 has bashed a hole in the ceiling big
enough to...
Pour itself through.
A massive blob of mercury extrudes from the opening. The mass drops
through the hole, down out of frame, then comes back up into frame
as Officer X.

It seems to need just a second to get its mental act together after
doing this king of taffy-pull with itself. It opens its eyes and
sees --

77 TERMINATOR, the shot gun held in his teeth, astride the roaring
Harley twenty feet away. Terminator twists the throttle and pops the
clutch.
The back tire screams on the concrete. The front wheel lifts off the
ground and the heavy bike launches in a thundering wheelie.

Terminator gets off just before the bike hurtles into the elevator.
The Harley slams the T-1000 square and smashes it right through the
back wall of the elevator.
Terminator rolls to his feet.
Johns strikes the flare on the concrete. Tosses it.
Terminator catches the life flare with one hand.
Levels the shotgun with the other.
With his last round he blows a big hole in the bike's gas tank.
Gas splashes everywhere, covering the struggling T-1000.
Terminator tosses the flare. KA-VOOOM!

The explosion knocks Terminator backward off his feet, enveloping him
in the fireball. He gets up, smoking, and runs after John and Sarah
toward the exit ramp.

78 AT THE EXIT RAMP. They are partway up when a blue-and-white hospital
security car comes screeching down the other way.
Without breaking stride Sarah runs right at the car. It skids to a
shrieking halt. She's in the guy's face with the .45 in both hands.

SARAH
Out of the car!!

The patrol guy is thinking what he can try when BLAM! she puts a round
through the glass next to his head.

SARAH
RIGHT NOW!

The door opens and the guy is coming out with his hands up as
Terminator arrives. The cyborg flings the rent-a-cop out of the way
and slides behind the wheel. Sarah gets John into the back seat and
dives into the front passenger seat as --

78A Terminator slams the car into reverse and punches it, lighting up the
tires on the slick ramp.
Terminator hands the shotgun over his shoulder to John and tells him
to reload. John pulls some shells from the pocket of his army jacket
and starts feeding them in.
Terminator power backward up the ramp, scraping along one wall, barely
in control. Because...

79 The T-1000 is running at them out of the inferno below.
This guy won't quit. Shifting from chrome mode to cop-form as it
runs.
It sprints up the ramp after the retreating car. T-1000 is gaining.

80 Terminator hands Sarah another magazine for the .45. She snatches
it, drops the other out, and slaps in the new one. Cocks the slide.
The car backs along the service driveway toward the security gate.
John hands the shot gun back to Terminator.
He leans out the window and takes aim at the pursuer.
The T-1000's face is right in the headlights.
80A Terminator fires, blowing a hole in its shoulder. Shiny liquid metal
visible in the hole, which then closes.
80B Sarah, half out the passenger window, opens fire.
The car crashes backward through the security barricade.

TERMINATOR
(calmly)
Hang on.

He cuts the wheel hard. The car slews into a reverse 180, swapping
ends with a screech.
T-1000 is almost on them.
Terminator punches it. The car accelerates forward.

80C T-1000 leaps. Lands on the trunk.
Its hand is a metal crowbar slammed down through the trunk lid.
Feet dragging on the pavement, it slams its other hand down,
punching another metal hook into the trunk lid, pulling itself up.
Terminator turns to Sarah.

TERMINATOR
Drive.

Terminator heaves himself half out the driver's window. Sarah slaps
her foot down on the throttle and steers from the passenger side.

80D T-1000, fully on the car now, holds on with one hook-hand while it
slams the other into the back window, sweeping away the glass and
missing John by inches as he ducks.
It draws back for another swing, lunging forward as --

80E Terminator whips the shotgun over the roof of the car.
Fires point-blank.
Hits the T-1000's arm just above the "hand" which anchors it to the
car. The 12-guage blows the arm apart, severing the hook-hand.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary The trio is attacked by the T-1000 in an elevator. Sarah fires at the ceiling, and Terminator chambers a round and fires at the ceiling, attempting to stop the attack, but the T-1000 continues to thrust, slicing Sarah's arm. As the doors open, Sarah pulls John out and they emerge into the basement. Terminator fires another blast through the ceiling and runs out, throwing John a road flare. The T-1000 pours itself through the hole in the ceiling and reassembles into Officer X. Terminator gets on the Harley and launches it into a wheelie, slamming it into the T-1000 and sending it through the back wall of the elevator. Terminator then tosses the flare, causing an explosion that envelops him in flames. He gets up and runs after John and Sarah. At the exit ramp, Sarah forces a security guard out of his car and Terminator takes the wheel. John reloads the shotgun while Terminator drives backward up the ramp, barely in control. The T-1000 runs after the car, gaining on them. Terminator hands Sarah another magazine for the .45, and John hands the shotgun back to Terminator. Sarah fires at the T-1000, and the car crashes backward through the security barricade. Terminator turns the car around and accelerates forward. The T-1000 leaps onto the trunk and tries to break in, but Terminator shoots its arm off, severing the hook-hand that was anchoring it to the car. The trio escapes in the car, with the T-1000 still in pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple characters and fast-paced action
Critique
  • The scene is action-packed and intense, with a lot of physical and visual elements that create tension and excitement.
  • The use of the elevator as a setting adds a claustrophobic and confined feeling to the scene, enhancing the sense of danger and urgency.
  • The interaction between Sarah, Terminator, and John is well portrayed, showing their teamwork and quick thinking in a high-pressure situation.
  • The T-1000's ability to morph and attack in various forms adds a dynamic element to the scene, keeping the audience on edge.
  • The use of weapons, such as the shotgun and the road flare, adds to the intensity of the action sequences and showcases the characters' resourcefulness.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene, such as the metal shaft punching through the ceiling and the T-1000's liquid metal form, create vivid imagery for the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters during the action sequences to provide a balance between the intense physicality and the characters' internal struggles.
  • Provide more insight into the characters' thoughts and motivations during the scene to enhance the audience's connection with them.
  • Explore the consequences of the characters' actions in the scene to add layers of complexity and realism to the storyline.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue to reveal the characters' personalities and relationships amidst the chaos of the action.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene is consistent to maintain the tension and momentum throughout.



Scene 19 -  Escape from the T-1000
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
80F T-1000 tumbles backward off the accelerating car.
John looks out the back window, his eyes wide.
He sees the T-1000 roll to his feet and continue running.
But he's dropping way behind now. Sarah has the car floored and the
liquid-metal killer won't catch them on foot.
80G John watches, in awe, as the "crowbar hand", stuck into the trunk
right in front of him, reverts to the neutral polyalloy... a kind of
think mercury. The gray metal slides off the trunk of the car and
falls onto the road to lie there in a quivering blob.

80H The car speeds off into the night.
REVERSE on the T-1000, walking now, coming right up into closeup,
watching the tail lights recede. It looks down.

80I ANGLE ON BLACKTOP, tight on the liquid metal blob. Next to it is the
T-1000's shiny cop shoe. The mercury blob crawls and rejoins the
main mass, disappearing into the "shoe".

81 INT./EXT. SECURITY CAR

A GHOST CAR blasts out of the darkness on a long stretch of moonlight
highway. Headlights off, the hospital security car punches a hole in
the wind.

81A INSIDE THE SPEEDING CAR the energy is still high. The air is blowing
in the shattered windows as Terminator drives the car easily by
electronic night-vision. His eyes glow faintly red.

JOHN
Can you see anything?

81B TERMINATOR'S POV. A monochrome image of the highway lit bright as
day.

81C Terminator replies in a matter-of-fact tone.

TERMINATOR
Everything.

JOHN
Cool.

Sarah looks at Terminator, still not quite believing this is
happening. But this is a different Sarah than the waitress of 1984.
She spends only a second or two dealing with the unbelievable.
Then she turns to John in the back seat.

SARAH
You okay?

He nods. She reaches for John and we think she's going to hug him.
She starts to rub her hands over him and we realize she's checking for
injuries, very clinically the way a vet checks a dog for broken bones.

He pulls away from her. He hates her always checking him, treating
him like he might break, like some piece of rare china.

JOHN
I said I was okay.

Sarah looks at him, exasperated and stern.
SARAH
It was stupid of you to go there.

John stares at her, surprised.

SARAH
Goddamnit, John, you have to be smarter than
that. You're too important! You can't risk
yourself, not even for me, do you understand?
I can take care of myself. I was doing fine.
Jesus, John. You almost got yourself killed.

We see his chin quiver. He's a tough kid, but all he really wants is
for her to love him. He hasn't had enough years on the planet yet to
be the man of steel she demands.

JOHN
I... had to get you out of the place... I'm
sorry, I...

His face crumples. He starts to cry. Sarah gives him a cold stare.

SARAH
Stop it! Right now! You can't cry, John.
Other kids can afford to cry. You can't.

He's trying to be brave, he really is. Terminator turns and sees the
water leaking from his eyes. It doesn't make and sense to him.

TERMINATOR
What is wrong with your eyes?

John turns away, ashamed. Sarah lets her breath out, realizing how
keyed up she is. She turns to Terminator, giving him a wary once-
over.

SARAH
So what's your story?

CUT TO:

82 EXT. MENTAL HOSPITAL

The cops have shown up, as they always do. There are black-and-whites
everywhere, and ambulances are arriving. Two cops and an orderly are
required to subdue poor Doctor Silberman, who is raving at the top of
his lungs.

SILBERMAN
... it was all true and we're all going to die
and the changed, I saw him change!!

It's quite pathetic.
A nurse shoots him up with a sedative. They lead him away.

82A T-1000 walks unperturbed among the milling cops. No one notices him.
It slips into its cruiser and drives off into the night.
83 INT. CAR

Terminator drives steadily into the black night.

SARAH
This T-1000... what happens when you shoot it?

TERMINATOR
Ballistic penetration shocks it, but only for a
few seconds.

Sarah thinks about that. Then:

SARAH
Can it be destroyed?

TERMINATOR
Unknown.

They ride along in silence for a few seconds.
Sarah sees something up ahead, some lonely neon in the blackness.

SARAH
Pull in here. We have to ditch this car.

84 EXT. SERVICE STATION - NIGHT

A rundown gas station with a buzzing neon sign and no one around.
They pull into the drive and slowly cruise past the empty office. A
sign in the window says CLOSED SUNDAYS. They continue around the
building to the garage's back door.

AT THE GARAGE DOOR. Terminator breaks the lock on the roll-up door
and raises it. Sarah pulls the security car in out of sight.
Terminator rolls the door down behind them.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary After the T-1000's hand falls off, John witnesses its reversion to liquid metal. Sarah, scolding John for his recklessness, drives away, leaving the T-1000 behind. The T-1000's hand rejoins its body through a cop shoe. In the security car, Sarah inquires about the T-1000's vulnerability, learning that bullets only temporarily shock it. They decide to abandon the car at a rundown gas station.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotionally charged interactions between characters
  • High-stakes suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Slight predictability in certain plot developments
Critique
  • The scene transitions from the action-packed pursuit of the T-1000 to a more introspective and emotional moment between Sarah, John, and the Terminator. This shift in tone is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the tension and momentum of the story.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and John feels a bit forced and heavy-handed, especially Sarah's cold and stern reaction to John's emotional vulnerability. It could be more nuanced to reflect the complex relationship between the characters.
  • The emotional beats in the scene could be more subtly portrayed to allow for a deeper connection with the characters. John's vulnerability and Sarah's tough love approach could be explored with more depth and authenticity.
  • The transition from the intense action of the car chase to the quieter moment at the gas station could be improved to create a more seamless flow between the two contrasting scenes.
  • The visual description of the liquid metal blob rejoining the T-1000's main mass is a powerful image, but could be enhanced with more sensory details to fully immerse the reader in the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the dialogue between Sarah, John, and the Terminator to make it more natural and reflective of their complex dynamics.
  • Explore ways to smoothly transition between the emotional beats and the action sequences to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Focus on subtlety and nuance in portraying the characters' emotions and interactions to create a more authentic and engaging scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to evoke a stronger sense of atmosphere and emotion in the scene.
  • Work on balancing the introspective moments with the high-stakes action to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.



Scene 20 -  Refuge in the Gas Station
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
85 INT. GAS STATION

Dark. Sarah switches on the single drop-light. She and Terminator
look at each other. Terminator is shot-up and bleeding, and Sarah
has a vicious slash in her upper arm which was soaked her sleeve with
blood.

SARAH
You look like handmade shit.

TERMINATOR
So do you.

CUT TO:

86 TIGHT ON FIRST-AID KIT from the office, plus some not-so-oily rags, a
bottle of rubbing alcohol, a few small tools, and other makeshift
odds and ends. Terminator's hand comes into shot. Sets down a bloody
rag. Picks up a clean one.
WIDER. Sarah sits on an empty crate. Terminator's is beside her,
suturing her wound with some fine wire from the winding of an
alternator. Using a pair of needlenose pliers he draws the wire
through her pale skin with a delicate hand.

TERMINATOR
I have detailed files on human anatomy.

Sarah stares into his face, inches away, fighting the pain. She
doesn't like him being this close to her to begin with, let alone
carving on her.

SARAH
I'll bet. Makes you a more efficient killer,
right?

TERMINATOR
Correct.

CUT TO:

87 TIGHT ON TERMINATOR'S BACK. The leather jacket is riddled with bullet
holes. Sarah and John help pull it off, revealing Terminator's
broad, muscular back beneath.

WIDER. John and Sarah stare in amazement. There are at least twenty
bullet holes in him. Back. Arms. Legs. Fortunately they're all
9mm. The holes are small and the damage cosmetic.

JOHN
Does it hurt?

TERMINATOR
I sense injuries. The data could be called
pain.

TIGHT ON SARAH AND TERMINATOR. Sarah starts washing the bullet holes
in his broad back with alcohol.

SARAH
Will these heal up?

Terminator nods. She reaches into the bloody wounds with pliers and
finds the copper-jacketed bullets, flattening against the armored
endoskeleton. Pulls them out. They CLINK one by one into a glass.

SARAH
That's good. Because if you can't pass for
human, you won't be much good to us.

She concentrates on removing the slugs. CLINK. CLINK.

JOHN
How long do you live? I mean, last?

TERMINATOR
A hundred and twenty years on my existing
power cell.
Sarah nods, pulling out another slug. CLINK. The glass nearly full
of flattened bullets. She begins to sew the holes closed with a few
wire sutures. John watches in quiet amazement, the two warriors
calmly fixing each other.

JOHN
Can you learn? So you can be... you know.
More human. Not such a dork all the time.

Terminator turns towards him.

TERMINATOR
My CPU is a neural-net processor... a learning
computer. But Skynet presets the switch to
"read-only" when we are sent out alone.

SARAH
(cynical)
Doesn't want you thinking too much, huh?

TERMINATOR
No.

JOHN
Can we reset the switch?

CUT TO:

88 E.C.U. OF AN X-ACTO KNIFE cutting into Terminator's scalp at the base
of his skull. His voice calmly directs Sarah as she spreads the bloody
incision and locates the maintenance port for the CPU in the chrome
skull beneath.

TERMINATOR
Now open the port cover.

She wipes away the blood and uses the garage-mechanic's air tools to
unscrew the port cover.

88A TERMINATOR POV (DIGITIZED) as he watches her work in a mirror they've
taken from the washroom. Sarah and John are standing behind him.
Her hands are covered with blood, like a surgeon's.

TERMINATOR
Hold the CPU by its base tab. Pull.

Following the instructions, she reaches in with a pair of tweezers and
PULLS -- there is a BURST OF STATIC and the screen goes BLACK.

CUT TO:

89 TIGHT ON JOHN AND SARAH looking at what she has removed. A reddish-
brown ceramic rectangle with a connector on one end. About the size
and shape of a domino. On close inspection it appears to be made up
of small cubes connected together. It is identical to the shattered
one in the vault at Cyberdyne Systems. Now we know it is that that
Miles Dyson values so highly. The brain of a terminator.
89A WIDER. John walks around Terminator and looks at his face.
Eyes open, he is completely inert. Dead.

John lifts his huge hand. The dead servos whine sullenly as he forces
them. It's like rigor mortis. He releases the hand and it stays in
the lifted position. Sarah examines the CPU chip.

JOHN
Can you see the pin switch?

She ignores him. See looks at Terminator.
The back at the chip.
Then she sets it on the work table and picks up a small sledge hammer.
John realizes what she is about to do. Dives at her as the sledge is
whistling down.

JOHN
No!!!!

He slaps his hand down over the chip.
Sarah barely stops the sledge before smashing his fingers.

SARAH
Out of the way, John!

JOHN
No! Don't kill him!

SARAH
It, John. Not him. It.

JOHN
Alright, it! We need it!

John keeps his hand right where it is.

SARAH
We're better off by ourselves.

JOHN
But it's the only proof we have to the future...
about the war and all that.

SARAH
I don't trust it! These things are hard to
kill, John, believe me, I know. We may never
have this opportunity again.

JOHN
Look, Mom, if I'm supposed to ever be this great
leader, you should start listening to my
leadership ideas once in a while. 'Cause if you
won't, nobody else will.

Smart kid. He's got her. She nods, reluctantly. He palms the chip
and studies it minutely.
89B John takes a pin and moves the almost invisible switch to the other
position.

It is now in "write" mode. Then he grimaces as he inserts the wafer
back into the slot in Terminator's skull.

89C TERMINATOR VISION flares back to life in a burst of static. The image
forms. Sarah and John stands behind him in the mirror.

TERMINATOR
Was there a problem?

John glances sheepishly at Sarah, Then smiles at Terminator.

JOHN
No problem. None whatsoever.

CUT TO:

90 JOHN SLEEPING, lying on a pile of rags next to a stack of tires.
The lights are off. Sarah sits nearby, cross-legged, he back against
the wall.

The .45 is cradles in her lap. She looks weary, but she won't allow
herself to sleep with Terminator present.

By the office windows, in a slash of moonlight, is Terminator. He
stands silent and still, watching the night. Only his eyes move,
tracking with the occasional car passing on the road. He figure
silhouetted and still.

DISSOLVE TO:

91 SAME IMAGE. Now DAYLIGHT streams in the dusty windows.
Terminator has not moved. Faithful machine sentinel. He turns at a
sound. John stirs, waking up. He squints into the sunlight. Sarah
is still awake. She gets up, wincing at the pain in her arm.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a tense gas station hideout, Sarah Connor repairs Terminator's wounds and wrestles with the moral dilemma of destroying his CPU chip. John Connor persuades her to preserve it for evidence, believing it holds crucial proof of Skynet's intentions. After repairing Terminator, he stands vigil while Sarah and John rest, his unwavering gaze monitoring their surroundings.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy at times
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension, considering the characters are in a life-threatening situation with injuries and the need to repair the Terminator.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Terminator feels a bit flat and lacks emotional depth, especially given the circumstances they are in.
  • The interaction between John, Sarah, and Terminator as they tend to each other's wounds and discuss the Terminator's capabilities could be more emotionally charged and impactful.
  • The transition from repairing the Terminator to the discussion about resetting the switch on the CPU feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The decision-making process regarding whether to destroy the CPU chip or not lacks a sense of high stakes and emotional conflict, which could have added more depth to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more urgency and tension in the scene by emphasizing the life-threatening injuries and the need to repair the Terminator quickly.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Sarah and Terminator to add emotional depth and complexity to their interaction.
  • Consider adding more emotional moments between John, Sarah, and Terminator as they tend to each other's wounds and discuss the Terminator's capabilities.
  • Smooth out the transition between different elements of the scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Increase the stakes and emotional conflict in the decision-making process regarding the destruction of the CPU chip to make the scene more engaging and impactful.



Scene 21 -  Learning Humanity at the Gas Station
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
92 EXT. GAS STATION - DAY (LATER)

John and Terminator walks to an old Chevy pickup parked behind the
garage. The day is clear but windy. Dust devils chase themselves
behind the place. The pickup is locked but Terminator breaks the side
window with his fist and opens the door. He and John climb in.

92A IN THE PICKUP. Terminator has this trick (which you could do too if
you had servo-driven steel fingers) where he smashes the cowl around
a steering column with one blow from the palm of his hand. When it
shatters he strips it away with a single move, and then turns the stub
of the lock-mechanism with his fingertips. This starts the vehicle.
It takes about three seconds.

In fact, he does it so quickly, the truck is running by the time John
flips down the sun visor. A set of keys drops out and John catches
them. Dangles them in front of Terminator's eyes.
JOHN
Are we learning yet?

92B Sarah comes out. She's found a mechanic's coverall inside, used but
fairly clean. It doesn't fit her too well, but it's better than the
stuff from the hospital. She's still barefoot.
The sun, which she hasn't seen in months, hurts her eyes,
Terminator and John pull up in the pickup. She gets in.

92C TERMINATOR
We need to get as far from the city as possible.

SARAH
Just head south.

CUT TO:

93 INT./EXT. PICKUP TRUCK/HIGHWAY - DAY

THE OPEN ROAD. The pickup roars through light traffic down a long
stretch of highway. They set three abreast on the bench seat, John
in between, like some improbable family on a car trip.
Sarah leans over to get a look at the speedometer.

SARAH
Keep it under sixty-five. We can't afford to
be pulled over.

Terminator backs off the throttle slightly.

TERMINATOR
Affirmative.

JOHN
No, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people
talk. See, you don't say like "Affirmative" or
some shit like that. You say... no problemo.

Terminator nods, filing away the information. Sarah is ignoring the
lesson, lost in thought.

JOHN
It someone comes off to you with an attitude,
you say "eat me"... if you wanna shine them on,
it's "Hasta la vista, baby".

TERMINATOR
"Hasta la vista, baby"?

JOHN
Yeah, or "later, dickwad." Or if someone gets
upset you say "chill out." Like that. Or you
can do combinations.

TERMINATOR
Chill out, dickwad.
JOHN
That's great! See, you're getting it.

TERMINATOR
No problemo.

CUT TO:

94-95 OMITTED

96 EXT. ROADSIDE STAND/GAS STATION - DAY

There's a gas pump and a sleazy fast-food stand. Picnic tables are
set up at the side of the food stand. A family sits at one, children
playing and running about.
96A The pickup truck pulls into the lot. Stops at the gas pump.
Sarah turns to John.

SARAH
You got any cash?

John pulls what's left of his Ready-Teller money from his pocket.

JOHN
Only a couple hundred bucks. I'll give you
half.

Sarah grabs all of it. Peels off a twenty, hands it to John.

SARAH
Get some food.

She opens the truck door and steps out. John turns to Terminator.

JOHN
No sense of humor.

97 THE ORDERING WINDOW as John and Terminator approach.

JOHN
And that's another thing. You could lighten up
a bit, yourself. This severe routine is getting
old. Smile once in a while.

TERMINATOR
Smile?

JOHN
Yeah. Smile. You know. People smile, right?
Watch.

Goes to the order window.

JOHN
(smiling broadly)
Hi. Nice place you got here. How's business?
WINDOW WOMAN
(stone-faced)
Gimme a break.

JOHN
(to Terminator)
Okay. Bad example. Over there, look.

John points at THREE TEENAGE GUYS standing at a drinking fountain
nearby. One of them has said something funny and the others are
laughing, grinning.

JOHN
Like that.

TERMINATOR POV (DIGITIZED) The real-time image continues while a
replay of one of the guys grinning runs in a window. It expands, so
that the guy's mouth fills the window. Replays again in slow motion.
A vector-graphic of the lips smiling appears, along with an array of
symbolic data.

Terminator tries it. The result is dismal. A rictus-like curling of
the lip. Terminator's next effort is a marginal improvement.

JOHN
I don't know, maybe you could practice in front
of a mirror or something.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary John, Sarah, and the Terminator drive south and stop at a gas station. John teaches the Terminator human language and behavior, leading to humorous attempts at smiling. They stock up on food and money and continue their journey.
Strengths
  • Character development
  • Humor
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited action sequences
  • Less focus on immediate danger
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the characters are on the run from a deadly enemy.
  • The dialogue between John and Terminator feels forced and unnatural, detracting from the authenticity of their interactions.
  • The attempt to humanize Terminator by teaching him to smile comes across as awkward and out of place in the context of the story.
  • The transition from the previous scene, where Sarah is in pain and the characters are on high alert, to this scene at the gas station feels disjointed.
  • The visual elements of Terminator trying to smile and failing to do so are not effectively conveyed, making the scene less impactful.
Suggestions
  • Increase the sense of urgency and danger in the scene to align with the overall tone of the screenplay.
  • Revise the dialogue between John and Terminator to make it more natural and reflective of their characters.
  • Consider removing the attempt to humanize Terminator through smiling, as it may not fit well with the tone of the story.
  • Smooth out the transition between scenes to maintain continuity and keep the audience engaged.
  • Revisit the visual elements to ensure they effectively convey the emotions and actions of the characters.



Scene 22 -  Reflections at the Rest Stop
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
98 EXT. REST STOP/PICKUP TRUCK - DAY (LATER)

Sarah and John are eating cheeseburgers and fries, sitting in the
truck and on the curb respectively. They are parked away from the
other families, at the end of the gravel parking area. Terminator
is pouring coolant into the radiator. Sarah is deep in through,
turning and turning the whole thing in her brain. John, unable to
deal with her silence, goes around to where Terminator is working.

98A John sees two kids playing with machine-gun water pistols nearby,
viciously squirting each other.

FIRST KID
You're dead!

SECOND KID
Am not!

FIRST KID
Are so!

John and Terminator watch them rolling on the ground in a fight to the
death. Sarah rounds the front of the truck, and sees the kids. John
sighs, solemn. He looks up at the cyborg.

JOHN
We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I
mean.
TERMINATOR
It is in your nature to destroy yourselves.

John nods, depressed.

JOHN
Yeah. Drag, huh?

SARAH
I need to know how Skynet get built. Who's
responsible?

TERMINATOR
The man most directly responsible is Miles Bennet
Dyson, Director of Special Projects at
Cyberdyne Systems Corporation.

SARAH
Why him?

TERMINATOR
In a few months he creates a revolutionary
type of mircoprocessor.

SARAH
Then what?

98B Terminator closes the hood and gets into the truck as he speaks.

TERMINATOR
In three years Cyberdyne will become the largest
supplier of military computer systems. All
stealth bombers are upgraded with Cyberdyne
computers, becoming fully unmanned, Afterward,
the fly with a perfect operational record.

SARAH
(getting behind John)
Uh huh, great. Then those fat fucks in
Washington figure, what the hell, let a computer
run the whole show, right?

TERMINATOR
Basically.
(starting the engine, backing
out)
The Skynet funding bill is passed. The system
goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions
are removed from strategic defense. Skynet
begins to learn, at a geometric rate. It becomes
self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29.
In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

SARAH
And Skynet fights back.

They accelerate back onto the highway.
TERMINATOR
Yes. It launches its ICBMs against their
targets in Russia.

SARAH
Why attack Russia?

TERMINATOR
Because Skynet knows the Russian counter-strike
will remove its enemies here.

SARAH
Jesus.
(beat, then)
How much do you know about Dyson?

TERMINATOR
I have detailed files.

SARAH
I want to know everything. What he looks like.
Where he lives. Everything.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary As Sarah and John eat lunch, John contemplates the futility of human existence while watching children play with toy guns. Sarah seeks knowledge about Skynet's origins from Terminator, who reveals that Miles Bennet Dyson is the key figure. Terminator explains the Skynet funding bill, its self-awareness, and its subsequent attack on Russia. The trio continue their journey, leaving behind the children's play and the ominous implications it holds.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information about Skynet
  • Building tension and suspense
  • Emotional depth of characters
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved in preventing Skynet's creation and the impending apocalypse.
  • The dialogue feels a bit expository and could be more engaging by incorporating more emotion and conflict between the characters.
  • The transition from the kids playing with water pistols to the serious conversation about Skynet feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling and engage the audience.
  • The emotional impact of the impending doom and the weight of the responsibility on the characters could be portrayed more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more tension and urgency to the scene to reflect the gravity of the situation.
  • Work on making the dialogue more natural and engaging by infusing it with emotion and conflict.
  • Smooth out the transition between the light-hearted moment with the kids and the serious conversation about Skynet.
  • Include more visual elements or actions to enhance the storytelling and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Focus on portraying the emotional weight and sense of impending doom more effectively to draw the audience into the characters' struggles.



Scene 23 -  A Scientist's Struggle
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
99 INT. DYSON HOUSE - DAY

Miles Dyson sits at the huge desk in his study. He is deep in
thought, tapping away at the keyboard of his home computer terminal.
Next to desk are racks of sophisticated gear. On a Sunday morning,
when most men are relaxing, spending time with their families, Dyson
is hard at work.

IN A PROFILE CLOSEUP we see him in deep concentration, his mind
prowling the labyrinth of his new microprocessor.

A WOMAN'S FACE ENTERS FRAME soundlessly behind him. He doesn't hear
her. His wife, TARISSA, extends her tongue and traces it down the
back of his neck. He smiles and turns to kiss her good morning.
She's still in her bathrobe, holding coffee. He's been up for hours.
He turns and goes back to work, forgetting instantly that she is
standing there.

She watches him work, the arcane symbols moving across the screen.
We see her frustration, her inability to truly enter the magic box
of his world.

TARISSA
You going to work all day?

DYSON
I'm sorry, baby. This thing is just kicking my
ass. I thought we had it with this one...

He points to a metal box on his desk, about two feet long. As
assembly of small cubes. It looks like a dinosaur version of
Terminator's CPU.
DYSON
... but the output went to shit after three
seconds. I'm thinking now it's the way I'm
matrixing the command hierarchies...

TARISSA
You need a break. You'll see it clear when you
come back.

DYSON
I can't

TARISSA
Miles, it's Sunday. You promised to take the
kids to Raging Waters today.

DYSON
Oh. I can't, honey. I'm on a roll here.

He takes her hands. We see a childlike excitement in his face. He
wants so badly to share the almost orgasmic thrill of discovery,
the satisfaction of creation.

DYSON
Baby, this thing is going to blow 'em all away.
It's a neural-net process --

TARISSA
I know. You told me. It's a neural-net
processor. It thinks and learns like we do.
It's superconducting at room temperature.
Other computer are pocket calculators by
comparison.
(she pulls away from him)
But why is that so goddamn important, Miles?
I really need to know, 'cause I feel like I'm
going crazy here, sometimes.

DYSON
I'm sorry, honey, it's just that I'm thiiis
close.

He holds up his thumb and index finger... a fraction of an inch apart.
She picks up the prototype. It doesn't look like much.

DYSON
Imagine a jetline with a pilot that never makes
a mistake, never gets tired, never shows up to
work with a hangover.
(he taps the prototype)
Meet the pilot.
TARISSA
Why did you marry me, Miles? Why did we have
these two children? You don't need us. Your
heart and your mind are in here.
(she stares at the metal box
in her hands)
But it doesn't love you like we do.

He takes the anodized box from her hands and sets it down. Then he
puts his hands on her shoulders and kisses her gently. She acquiesces
to his kiss.

DYSON
I'm sorry.

Tarissa glances over his shoulder. She nods her head toward the
doorway to the study. Dyson turns and sees their two kids standing
there. Danny (6) and Blythe (4) look rumpled and adorable in their
PJs. Dyson wilts at their hopeful expressions.

TARISSA
How about spending some time with your other
babies?

Dyson grins. The forces of darkness have lost this round. He holds
out his hands and his kids run to him, cheering.

CUT TO:

A100 EXT. DESERT/COMPOUND - DAY

The desert northwest of Calexico. Burning under the sun like a
hallucination. Heat shimmers the image, mirage-like.
Terminator turns the pickup off the paved road and barrels along a
roadbed a sand and gravel, trailing a huge plume of dust.
A sign at the turnoff says: CHARON MESA 2 MI
CALEXICO 15 MI

A101 AHEAD is a pathetic oasis of humanity in the vast wasteland, a couple
of aging house-trailers, surrounded by assorted junk vehicles and
desert-style trash. There is a dirt airstrip behind the trailers, and
a stripped Huey helicopter sitting on block nearby.

The truck rolls to a stop in a cloud of dust. The place looks
deserted. The door to the nearest trailer bangs in the wind.

SARAH
(to Terminator and John)
Stay in the truck.

A102 ANGLE FROM INSIDE ANOTHER TRAILER, NEARBY.
A DARK FIGURE in the F.G. has an AK-47 trained on the pickup as
Sarah gets out.

ON SARAH peering through the backlit dust.
The sound of wind. She approaches the trailer.
SARAH
(in Spanish)
Enrique? You here?

She hears KACHANK! behind her and spins, whipping out her .45 in one
motion.

ENRIQUE SALCEDA stands behind a rusting jeep, a 12-gauge pump trained
on her. He is mid-forties, a tough Guatemalan with a weathered face
and heavy mustache. He wears cowboy boots and a flak vest, no shirt.

SALCEDA
You pretty jumpy, Connor.

His fierce face breaks into a broad grin. The shotgun drops to his
side as he walks toward her. When he reaches her he hugs her, then
steps back.

SALCEDA
(in Spanish)
Good to see you, Connor. I knew you'd make it
back here sooner or later.

He grins at John as he steps from the truck, and then clocks
Terminator getting out.

SALCEDA
Oye, Big John! Que pasa? Who's your very large
friend?
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Miles Dyson, driven by his work, struggles to prioritize his family as his wife, Tarissa, expresses her disappointment. Sarah Connor and John Connor seek refuge in a remote desert compound where they are welcomed by Enrique Salceda.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly cliched or predictable
Critique
  • The scene effectively sets up Miles Dyson as a dedicated and absorbed scientist, showcasing his passion for his work at the expense of his family.
  • There is a clear conflict between Dyson's dedication to his work and his family's desire for his attention and presence, adding depth to his character.
  • The dialogue between Dyson and Tarissa reveals the strain in their relationship, with Tarissa feeling neglected and unimportant compared to Dyson's work.
  • The scene effectively conveys Dyson's excitement and pride in his creation, the neural-net processor, while also highlighting the emotional toll it takes on his family.
  • The interaction between Dyson and his children adds a touch of humanity to his character, showing his softer side and hinting at the consequences of his work on his family.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues to emphasize Dyson's obsession with his work, such as close-up shots of the computer screen or his hands typing furiously.
  • Explore the emotional impact of Dyson's neglect on his family further, perhaps by delving into Tarissa's feelings of isolation and loneliness.
  • Introduce subtle hints of foreshadowing regarding the destructive potential of Dyson's creation, setting the stage for future conflicts and consequences.
  • Enhance the tension between Dyson's professional ambitions and personal responsibilities, creating a more nuanced portrayal of his character.
  • Consider incorporating symbolic imagery or motifs to underscore the themes of family, sacrifice, and the ethical implications of Dyson's work.



Scene 24 -  The Reunion
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
JOHN
(perfect Spanish)
He's cool, Enrique. He's... uh... this is my
Uncle Bob.
(to Terminator, in English)
Uncle Bob, this is Enrique.

Terminator smiles. Sort of. Salceda squints at him,

SALCEDA
Hmmm. Uncle Bob, huh? Okay.
(yelling)
Yolanda. Get out here, we got company. And
bring some fucking tequila!

A thin Guatemalan KID, FRANCO, eighteen or so, comes out of the
trailer with the AK-47, followed by Salceda's wife, YOLANDA. She has
THREE younger children with her, from a five-year-old GIRL, JUANITA,
to a year-and-half-old BOY. She waves at John. They exchange
greetings in Spanish. They seem like nice people.
Terminator looks down at John, next to him. He says quietly...

TERMINATOR
Uncle Bob?
SALCEDA
(to Sarah)
So, Sarahlita, you getting famous, you know
that? All over the goddamn TV.

Salceda rips the cap off the tequila bottle. The two-year-old toddles
to Terminator and grabs his pants, sliming them with drool.
Terminator looks down at the tiny kid, fascinated. What is it?
He picks up the child with one huge hand. Looks at it. Turns it
different ways. Studying it. Then sets it down. The kid waddles
off, a little dizzy.

SALCEDA
Honey, take Pacolito. Thanks, baby.

She hands him the tequila and takes the child. Salceda takes a long
pull from the Cuervo bottle.

SALCEDA
(to Terminator)
Drink?

Terminator gestures "no" at the proffered bottle, but Sarah grabs it
and takes a long pull. She lowers it without expression. Her eyes
don't even water.

SARAH
I just came for my stuff. And I need clothes,
food, and one of your trucks.

SALCEDA
(grinning)
Hey, how about the fillings out of my fucking
teeth while you're at it?

SARAH
Now, Enrique.
(turns to Terminator and John)
You two are on weapons detail.

CUT TO:

A103 EXT. COMPOUND/BEHIND THE TRAILERS

There is an aging and rusted Caterpillar sitting behind one of the
trailers. John expertly backs it toward Terminator who is holding
one end of a piece of heavy chain which disappears into the sand.

JOHN
Hook it on.

Terminator hooks the chain onto the towhook on the back of the
tractor. John hits the throttle and the Cat churns its treads,
pulling some massive load. A six-by-eight foot sheet of steel plate
moves slowly under six inches of sand.
John drags it far enough to reveal... a rectangular hole in the
ground. Like the mouth of a tomb. The kid drops down from the
tractor and walks to the hole.

JOHN
One thing about my mom... she always plans
ahead.

A104 INT. WEAPONS CACHE

From inside the "tomb". Sunlight slashes down into a cinder-block
room, less than six feet wide but over twenty long. Sand spills down
the steps. The walls are lined with guns.

John precedes Terminator into Sarah's weapons cache. Rifles, pistols,
rocket launchers, mortars, RPGs, radio gear. At the far end, boxes
containing ammo, grenades, etc. are stacked to the ceiling.
Terminator gets real alert. Scanning, wondering where to begin. He
picks up a MAC-10 machine pistol. Racks the bolt.

TERMINATOR
Excellent.

JOHN
Yeah, I thought you'd like this place.

A105 EXT. COMPOUND/NEARBY

Sarah emerges from a trailer. She has changed. Boots, black fatigue
pants, T-shirt. Shades. She looks hard.
Salceda is nearby, packing food and other survival equipment with
Yolanda. He looks up as Sarah approaches, and slaps the side of a
BIG FOUR-BY BRONCO next to him,

SALCEDA
This is the best truck, but the water pump is
blown. You got the time to change it out?

SARAH
Yeah. I'm gonna wait till dark to cross the
border.
(she pulls him away from
Yolanda)
Enrique, it's dangerous for you here. You get
out tonight, too, okay?

SALCEDA
Yeah, Saralita. Sure.
(he grins)
Just drop by any time and totally fuck up my
life.

She slaps him on the shoulder.

CUT TO:
A106 INT. WEAPONS CACHE

Terminator returns from carrying out several cases of ammo. John is
selecting rifles from a long rack.

JOHN
See, I grew up in places like this, so I just
thought it was how people lived... riding
around in helicopters. Learning how to blow
shit up.

John grabs an AK-47 and racks the bolt with a practiced action.
Inspects the receiver for wear. Doesn't like what he sees. Puts is
back. His movement are efficient. Professional. Uninterested.

JOHN
Then, when Mom got busted I got put in a
regular school. The other kids were, like,
into Nintendo.

Terminator has found a Vietnam-era "blooper" M-79 grenade launcher.
A very crude but effective weapon. He opens the breech and inspects
the bore.

JOHN
Are you ever afraid?

Terminator pauses for a second. The thought never occurred to him.
He searches him mind for the answer...

TERMINATOR
No.

Terminator slings the M-79 and starts looking for the grenades.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary John introduces the Terminator as his uncle to Salceda. Salceda and his family welcome them. Sarah asks for supplies, including a truck. John and the Terminator retrieve weapons from Sarah's hidden cache, with John showing the Terminator the cache and discussing his upbringing. The Terminator inspects and selects the weapons.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel cliched or predictable
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the characters are on the run from dangerous enemies. The tone is too light-hearted and lacks the necessary gravity of their situation.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially the interaction between Salceda and the characters. The humor and casualness don't quite fit the context of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions are lacking in detail, making it difficult to fully visualize the setting and characters' actions. More vivid and immersive descriptions would enhance the scene.
  • The transition between the different interactions and actions of the characters feels abrupt and disjointed, making the scene feel disconnected and lacking in cohesion.
  • The character dynamics and relationships could be further developed to create more depth and emotional resonance, especially between Sarah, John, and the Terminator.
Suggestions
  • Infuse more tension and urgency into the scene to reflect the characters' dangerous situation and the stakes involved.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and fitting for the context, ensuring that each character's voice is distinct and authentic.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting, allowing readers to fully engage with the scene.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different interactions and actions to create a more cohesive and fluid narrative flow.
  • Further explore and develop the character dynamics and relationships to add depth and emotional impact to the scene.



Scene 25 -  Unlikely Connections
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
JOHN
Not even of dying?

TERMINATOR
No.

JOHN
You don't feel any emotion about it one way
or the other?

TERMINATOR
No. I have to stay functional until my mission
is complete. Then it doesn't matter.

John is idly spinning a Sig Saur 9mm pistol on his finger... backwards
and forwards like Bat Masteron.

JOHN
Yeah. I have to stay functional too.
(sing-songy)
"I'm too important".
Terminator pulls back a canvas tarp, revealing a squat, heavy weapon
with six barrels clustered in a blunt cylinder. Chain-ammo is fed
from a canister sitting next to it. A G.E. MINI-GUN. The most
fearsome anti-personnel weapon of the Vietnam era.
Terminator hefts it. Looks at John as if to say "Can I? Please?"

JOHN
It's definitely you.

CUT TO:

A107 EXT. COMPOUND - DAY/LATER

Sarah and John have their weapons and supply selections laided out on
two battered picnic tables for cleaning and packing. Maps, radios,
documents, explosives, detonators... just the basics. Sarah is field-
stripping and cleaning guns, very methodical. There is no wasted
motion.

Not far away, John and Terminator are working on the Bronco. They're
greasy up to their elbows, lying on their backs under the engine
compartment, ratcheting bolts into places on the new water pump.

JOHN
There was this one guy that was kinda cool.
He taught me engines. Hold this a second. Mom
screwed it up, of course. Sooner or later she'd
always tell them about Judgment Day and me being
this world leader and that's be all she wrote.

John thinks he's being causal, but his longing for some kind of
parental connection is obvious.

TERMINATOR
Torque wrench please.

JOHN
Here. I wish I coulda met my real dad.

TERMINATOR
You will.

JOHN
Yeah. I guess so. My mom says when I'm, like,
45, I think, I send him back through time to
1984. But right now he hasn't even been born
yet. Man, is messes with your head. Where's
that other bolt?
(Terminator hands it to him)
Thanks. Mom and him were only together for one
night, but she still loves him, I guess. I see
her crying sometimes. She denies it totally,
of course. Like she says she got something in
her eye.

They crawl out from under the truck into the bright sunlight.
TERMINATOR
Why do you cry?

JOHN
You mean people? I don't know. We just cry.
You know. When it hurts.

TERMINATOR
Pain causes it?

JOHN
Uh-unh, no, it's different... It's when there's
nothing wrong with you but you hurt anyway. You
get it?

TERMINATOR
No.

Terminator gets into the Bronco and turns the ignition key and the
engine catches with a roar.

JOHN
Alriight!! My man!

TERMINATOR
No problemo.

John grins and does a victorious thumbs up.
Terminator imitates the gesture awkwardly.
John laughs and makes him get out of the truck, to try the move again.

A108 SARAH, across the compound, pauses in her work to watch John and
Terminator.

A109 SARAH'S POV... we don't hear what John and Terminator are saying. It
is a soundless pantomime as John is trying to show some other gestures
to the cyborg. Trying to get him to walk more casually. John walks,
then Terminator tries it, then John gestures wildly, talking very
fast... explaining the fundamental principles of cool. They try it
again. Continued ad lib as we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly
so clear. The Terminator would never stop, it
would never leave him... it would always be
there. And it would never hurt him, never shout
at him or get drunk and hit him, or say it
couldn't spend time with him because it was too
busy. And it would die to protect him. Of all
the would-be fathers who came and went over the
years, this thing, this machine, was the only
one who measured up. In an insane world, it was
the sanest choice.

Sarah clenches her jaw and goes grimly back to work... a strong woman
made hard and cold by years of hard choices.

CUT TO;
A110 EXT. ROAD - DAY

A police cruiser is parked off the side of a quiet, empty road on the
outskirts of Los Angeles. A ribbon of traffic moves steadily by on a
freeway in the distance. Nothing stirs around the cruiser except some
pump-jacks sucking the earth on the hill behind it.

A111 IN THE CRUISER. The T-1000 sits inside. John's notes and letters are
spread out on the seat beside it. Sarah's voice speaks from a
cassette deck. John's tapes. Her voices mixes with the static filled
chatter of the radio that T-1000 monitors for any signs of its
targets.

SARAH
... if we are ever separated, and can't make
contact, go to Enrique's airstrip. I'll
rendezvous with you there.

T-1000 whips around and rewinds the tape, replaying the last section.
It then snaps up the envelope of photos we saw earlier.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary John seeks a paternal bond with the emotionless Terminator, while Sarah witnesses their growing connection. Despite its limitations, the Terminator proves to be a consistent and reliable figure for John. Meanwhile, the T-1000 continues its relentless pursuit, searching for clues to locate Sarah and John.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy moments
  • Occasional pacing issues
Critique
  • The dialogue between John and the Terminator lacks depth and emotional resonance, making it feel somewhat flat and unengaging.
  • The interaction between John and the Terminator, while attempting to show a bonding moment, comes across as forced and lacking in authenticity.
  • The scene could benefit from more nuanced and meaningful conversations that delve into the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • The attempt to show John teaching the Terminator human behavior and gestures feels contrived and could be more subtly integrated into the scene.
  • The visual of Terminator awkwardly imitating human gestures, while meant to be humorous, falls short and feels out of place in the context of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Add more depth to the dialogue between John and the Terminator by exploring their emotions and motivations in a more meaningful way.
  • Focus on creating a more authentic and genuine bonding moment between John and the Terminator, rather than relying on forced interactions.
  • Consider incorporating more nuanced and subtle interactions that showcase the characters' growth and development throughout the scene.
  • Instead of overtly showing John teaching the Terminator human behavior, find a more organic way to integrate this aspect into their relationship.
  • Revisit the visual elements of the scene to ensure they align with the tone and emotional depth of the characters, avoiding any moments that feel out of place or forced.



Scene 26 -  Sarah's Resolve
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
ECU on envelope. We see the postmark: "Charon Mesa, Calif."

TIGHT ON T-1000 staring at the postmark on the envelope. It glances
up at the sound of crunching gravel. In the rear-view it sees a BIKE
COP pulling onto the shoulder behind it. The big KAWASAKI 1100 idles
up next to the T-1000, still seated in the cruiser.

BIKE COP
Howdy. I saw you pulled over here earlier.
Everything okay?

T-1000
Everything's fine. Thanks for checking.
(it gets slowly out of
the car)
Since you're here, though, can I talk to you
a second...

CUT TO:

A112 EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY/MINUTES LATER

The T-1000 thunders along on the Kawasaki 1100, doing about a hundred
and twenty. PAN WITH IT until it recedes toward the horizon.

CUT TO:

A113 EXT. COMPOUND - DAY (LATE AFTERNOON)

Sarah sits at the picnic table. The weapons are cleaned and her work
is done. She hasn't slept in twenty-four hours and she seems to have
the weight of the whole world on her shoulder.
She draws her knife from its belt sheath.
Idly starts to carve something on the table top... the letter "N".


A114 NOT FAR AWAY, John and Terminator are packing the Bronco for the trip.
A115 ON SARAH, AT THE TABLE as she looks up from her carving, thinking.
She watches Salceda's kids playing nearby... wrestling with a mutty
dog and loving it. Sarah watches Yolanda walking her toddler by her
hands. Backlit, stylized. She looks over at John. Loading guns and
supplies.

A116 ANGLE ON kids playing.

A117 SARAH'S HEAD droops. She closes her eyes.

A118 TIGHT ON small children playing. Different ones.
Wider now, to reveal a playground in a park. Very idyllic. A dream
playground, crowded with laughing children playing on swings, slides,
and a jungle gym. It could be the playground we saw melted and frozen
in the post-nuclear desolation of 2029. But here the grass is vibrant
green and the sun is shining.

118A Sarah, short-haired, looking drab and paramilitary, stands outside the
playground. An outsider. Her fingers are hooked in a chain-link
fence and she is staring through the fence at the young mothers
playing with their kids. A grim-faced harbinger.

118B Some girls play skip-rope. Their sing-song weaves through the random
burbling laughter of the kids. One of the young mothers walks her
two-year-old son by the hands. She is wearing a pink waitress
uniform. She turns to us, laughing.
It is Sarah. Beautiful. Radiant. Sarah from another life,
uncontaminated by the dark future. She glances at the strange woman
beyond the fence.

118C Grim-faced Sarah presses against the fence. She starts shouting at
them in SLOW MOTION. No sound comes from her mouth. She grabs the
fence in frustration, shaking it. Screaming soundlessly.
Waitress Sarah's smile falls. Then returns as her little boy throws
some sand at her. She laughs, turns away, as if the woman at the
fence were a shadow, a trick of light.

118D-118F OMITTED

118G THE SKY EXPLODES. The children ignite like match heads. Sarah is
burning, screaming silently, everything silent and overexposed.

118H THE BLAST WAVE HITS... devouring the cowering mothers and children.
Sarah's scream merges with the howl of the wind as the shockwave rips
into her, blasting her apart and she...

119 Wakes up.
All is quiet and normal. The children are still playing nearby. Less
than fifteen minutes have gone by.

Bathed in sweat, Sarah sits hunched over the table.
Every muscle is shaking. She is gasping.
Sarah struggles to breathe, running her hand through her hair which is
soaked with sweat, She can escape from the hospital, but she can't
escape from the madness which haunts her.
She looks down at the words she has carved on the table, amid the
scrawled hearts and bird-droppings. They are: "NO FATE."
Something changes in her eyes. She slams her knife down in the table
top, embedding it deeply in the words. Then gets up suddenly and
we --

CUT TO:

A120 LONG LENS on Sarah walking toward us, striding across the compound
with grim purpose. She carries a small nylon pack and a CAR-15
assault rifle. Her face is an impassive mask. She has become a
terminator.

A120A JOHN LOOKS UP from his work in time to see Sarah throw the rifle
behind the seat of their stolen pickup, jump in and start it. She
slams it in gear. Salceda walks up to John.

SALCEDA
She said you go south with him...
(he points at Terminator)
... tonight, like you planned. She will meet
you tomorrow in...

But John is moving, running after her.

JOHN
Mommm!! Wait!!

A120B MOVING WITH SARAH as she leaves the compound. We see John running
after her... yelling. Can't hear his words. She looks in the rear-
view mirror but doesn't slow down.

CUT TO:

A121 EXT. COMPOUND - DUSK/MINUTES LATER

John and Terminator ponders the message carved into the top of the
picnic table. Sarah's knife is still embedded there.

JOHN
"No fate." No fate but what we make. My father
told her this... I mean I made him memorize it,
up in the future, as a message to her --
Never mind. Okay, the whole thing goes "The
future is not set. There is no fate but what
we make for ourselves."

TERMINATOR
She intends to change the future somehow.

JOHN
I guess, yeah --
(snaps his fingers as it hit him)
Oh shit!!
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary Sarah experiences a dream of nuclear destruction, prompting her to confront the future and alter its course. She leaves the compound, leaving John and the Terminator behind. John interprets cryptic messages, while the Terminator acknowledges Sarah's mission to change the future.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene starts with a close-up on an envelope with a postmark, which is a good visual cue to set the location and time. However, the transition to the T-1000 interacting with the bike cop feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The shift to Sarah at the compound, carving the letter 'N' on the table, and experiencing a vivid dream is a powerful moment that conveys her inner turmoil and the weight of her mission. The imagery of the playground and the nuclear explosion is haunting and effectively conveys the horrors of the future she is trying to prevent.
  • The scene then transitions to John and Terminator packing the Bronco, which provides a contrast to Sarah's intense emotions. However, the pacing of the scene could be improved to create a more seamless flow between the different character moments.
  • The dialogue between Salceda and John, as well as Sarah's sudden departure, adds tension and urgency to the scene. The revelation of Sarah's message carved on the table and John's realization about changing the future is a pivotal moment that sets up the next actions of the characters.
  • Overall, the scene effectively conveys Sarah's determination, John's growing understanding of the situation, and the impending sense of action and change. However, there are opportunities to enhance the transitions between the different character beats and tighten the pacing for a more impactful delivery.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between the T-1000 and the bike cop to create a smoother connection between the different elements of the scene.
  • Explore ways to enhance the pacing of the scene to maintain a consistent momentum and build tension effectively.
  • Ensure that the visual and emotional cues in the scene align with the overall tone and themes of the screenplay to create a cohesive narrative.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue exchanges to convey the characters' motivations and emotions more concisely and effectively.
  • Consider revisiting the structure of the scene to optimize the impact of Sarah's revelation and John's realization about changing the future for a more compelling storytelling experience.



Scene 27 -  Sarah's Assassination Attempt
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
TERMINATOR
Dyson.
JOHN
Yeah, gotta be! Miles Dyson! She's gonna blow
him away!

John motions to Terminator and breaks into a run.

JOHN
Come on. Let's go. LET'S GO!!

CUT TO:

A122 INT./EXT. SARAH'S JEEP - DUSK

Sarah speeds through the darkening desert. Expressionless. In her
dark glasses, she looks as pitiless as an insect.

DISSOLVE TO:

A123 EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

TRACKING WITH THE BRONCO, Terminator and John heading toward L.A.

TERMINATOR
This is tactically dangerous.

JOHN
Drive faster.

TERMINATOR
The T-1000 has the same files that I do. It
could anticipate this move and reacquire you
at Dyson's house.

JOHN
I don't care. We've gotta stop her.

TERMINATOR
Killing Dyson might actually prevent the war.

JOHN
I don't care!! There's gotta be another way.
Haven't you learned anything?! Haven't you
figured out why you can't kill people?

Terminator is still stumped.

JOHN
Look, maybe you don't care if you live or die.
But everybody's not like that! Okay?! We have
feelings. We hurt. We're afraid. You gotta
learn this stuff, man, I'm not kidding. It's
important.

PANNING as they pass, revealing the lights of the city ahead.

CUT TO:
A124 EXT, DYSON'S HOUSE - NIGHT

The house is high-tech and luxurious. Lots of glass. Dyson's study
is lit bluish with the glow of his computer monitors. He is at the
terminal, working. Where else? We see him clearly in a long shot
from an embankment behind the house.

A DARK FIGURE moves into the foreground. Rack focus to Sarah as she
turns into profile. She raises the CAR-15 rifle and begins screwing
the long heavy cylinder of a sound-suppresser onto the end of the
barrel.

CUT TO:

A125-A125K OMITTED

129 OMITTED

129A INT. DYSON HOUSE

Dyson's kids, Danny and Blythe, are playing in the halls with a radio-
controlled off-road truck. Danny drives and Blythe scampers after it,
trying to catch it. They stop in the hall outside Dyson's study and
sees him working at his terminal. Danny puts a finger to his lips,
shushing Blythe. His expression is mischievous.

129B With the silencer in place, Sarah eases back the bolt and then slips
it forward, chambering a .223 round. Then she lies down on the
embankment.
He cheek pressed against the cool rifle-stock, she slides one hand
slowly forward to brace the weapon, taking the weight on her elbow.
Her other hand slips knowingly to the trigger.

Her expression is cold, impassive. She looks through the scope at the
man in the house. She feels nothing as she raises the rifle.

130 OMITTED

130A INT. DYSON'S HOUSE

DYSON, in deep thought. The rhythmic sounds of keys as he works.
Symbols on the screen shift.

ON HIS BACK we see the glowing red dot appear. It is the target dot
of Sarah's laser designator. It moves silently up his back toward
his head.

131 EXT. DYSON HOUSE/EMBANKMENT

IN EXTREME CLOSEUP we see Sarah's eye at the night-scope.
TIGHT INSERT on her finger as it tightens on the trigger, taking out
the slack. She takes a deep breath and holds it. Adjusts her
position minutely.

132 INT. DYSON HOUSE

The laser dot jiggles on the back of Dyson's neck and then rises,
centering on the back of his skull.
132A LOW ANGLE as Danny's Bigfoot truck roars toward us -- FILLING FRAME.
Thump. It hits Dyson's foot. He jerks, startled, and looks down
as --
POP!!

132B His monitor screen is BLOWN OUT spraying his with glass. He jerks
back, utterly shocked... and spins to see the huge hole blown through
the window behind him. This saves him as K-THUMP! -- the second shot
blows the top of his high-backed chain into an explosion of stuffing
an inch from his head.
Instinctively he dives to the carpet as --

BLAM BLAM BLAM -- rounds blast through the window, tearing into his
desk and computer, blowing his keyboard into shrapnel.

132C With the monitor screen blown out, the room is in darkness. Sarah
can't see Dyson now, down behind his desk. She puts round after round
into the heavy desk, blasting one side of it into kindling.

132D Dyson, scared out of his mind, has his face jammed against the carpet,
terrified to move. He sees his kids in the hall.

DYSON
Run, kids! Go! Run!

132E IN THE HALL, TARISSA rounds the corner at a dead run. She sees the
kids running toward her and grabs them in her arms. Down the hall,
in the dark study, she sees Dyson on the floor amid the splinters and
shrapnel of the continuing fusillade.

TARISSA
Miles! Oh my God!!

MILES
Stay back!!

132F ON THE FLOOR, Dyson flinches as chucks of wood and shattered computer
components shower down on him. He looks desperately toward the door,
but knows he'd be totally exposed. He'd never make it.

133 SARAH's rifle empties with a final CLACK!
She throws it down and draws her .45 smoothly from a shoulder base.
She starts toward the house, snapping back the slide on the pistol,
chambering a round. She is in a fast, purposeful walk, keeping her
eyes fixed on the target. She is utterly determined to kill this man.

134 FROM UNDER THE DESK Dyson can see a sliver in the backyard. He sees
Sarah's feet as she strides toward him. He tenses to make a break for
the door.

Sarah raises the pistol, eyes riveted ahead, controlling her
breathing. Dyson springs up in a full-tilt sprint. She tracks him.
He hooks a foot on the cord of a toppled disk drive.
BOOM! Her shot blows apart a lamp where his head was.
He hits the floor hard, but keeps moving, scrambling forward.

Crunch of glass behind his as Sarah's dark form is framed in the
blown-out floor-to-ceiling window. Dyson leaps toward the hall.
BOOM! Her second shot spins him. He hits the floor in the hallway.
Tarissa is screaming. Dyson struggles forward, stunned. There is a
.45-caliber hole clean through his left shoulder. He smears the wall
with blood as he staggers up. Looking back, he sees the implacable
figure behind him, coming on.

He topples through a doorway as --
BOOM! BOOM! Shots blowing away the molding where he just was.

135 EXT. DYSON HOUSE/STREET

Terminator and John leap from the jeep, sprinting toward the house.
The shots sound muffles from outside.

JOHN
Shit, we're too late!
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense and action-packed scene, Sarah Connor attempts to assassinate Miles Dyson, a key figure in Skynet's creation. Despite being interrupted by Dyson's children and pursued by Terminator and John Connor, Sarah's plan ultimately fails, and Dyson escapes with his life.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Well-defined characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a clear sense of urgency and danger.
  • The tension is effectively built up as Sarah prepares to assassinate Miles Dyson, creating a moral dilemma for the audience.
  • The conflict between John's desire to stop Sarah from killing Dyson and Sarah's determination to prevent the future war adds depth to the scene.
  • The use of visual cues, such as Sarah's cold and impassive expression, enhances the atmosphere of the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and conflicting motivations of the characters involved.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue to further explore the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' actions.
  • Explore the moral implications of Sarah's decision to assassinate Dyson in more depth.
  • Consider adding more visual cues or symbolism to enhance the thematic elements of the scene.
  • Ensure that the pacing and tension are maintained throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged.



Scene 28 -  Revelation and Redemption
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
136 INT. HOUSE

Advancing with Sarah we enter the living area. Tarissa has Blythe and
she's screaming at Danny, who has run back to his collapsed father.

TARISSA
Danny! DANNY!

DANNY
Daaaaddddeeee!

Danny is pulling at Dyson, crying and screaming, as his father tries
to stagger forward. Tarissa drops Blythe and runs back for Dyson,
grabbing him. Sarah looms behind them with the pistol aimed.

SARAH
Don't fucking move! Don't FUCKING MOVE!!
(she swings the gun on
Tarissa)
Get on the floor, bitch! Now!! Fucking down!
NOW!!

Sarah is crazy-eyed now, shaking with the intensity of the moment.
The kill has gone bad, with screaming kids and the wife involved...
things she never figured on. Tarissa drops to the knees, terrified
as she looks into the muzzle of the gun. Blythe runs to Dyson and
hugs him, wailing.

BLYTHE
Don't hurt my father!

SARAH
(screaming)
Shut up, kid! Get out of the way!!

Dyson looks up, through his pain and incomprehension. Why is this
nightmare happening? The black gun muzzle is a foot from his face.

DYSON
(gasping)
Please... let... the kids... go...
SARAH
Shut up! SHUT UP!! Motherfucker! It's all
your fault! IT'S YOUR FAULT!!

We see her psyching herself to pull the trigger... needing now to hate
this man she doesn't know. It's a lot harder face-to-face. She is
bathed in sweat, and it runs into her eyes. Blinking, she wipes it
fast with one hand, then gets it back on the gun. The .45 is
trembling.

TIGHT ON SARAH as we see the forces at war behind her eyes.
She looks into the faces of Dyson, Tarissa, Blythe, Danny.
Sarah takes a sharp breath and all the muscles in her arms contract
as she tenses to fire.
But her finger won't do it.
She lowers the gun very slowly. It drops to her side in one hand.

All the breath and energy seems to go out of her.
She weakly raises her other hand in a strange gesture, like "Stay
where you are, don't move". As if, should they move, the fragile
balance might tip back the other way.
She backs away from them slowly, panting. It's as if she's backing
away in terror from what she almost did. She reaches a wall and
slumps against it. Slides down to her knees. The gun falls limply
from her fingers.
She rests her cheek against the wall.

136A The front door is kicked in.
Terminator steps inside. John grabs his sleeve and pushes past him.
He scopes out the situation in two seconds... Sarah, the gun, the
sobbing family. John moves to Sarah while Terminator checks Dyson.

John kneels in front of his mother. She raises her head to look at
him. He sees the tears spilling down her cheeks,

JOHN
Mom? You okay?

SARAH
I couldn't... oh, God.
(she seems to she him for
the first time)
You... came here... to stop me?

JOHN
Uh huh.

She reaches out and takes his shoulder suddenly, surprising him...
drawing him to her. She hugs him and a great sob wells up deep inside
her, from a spring she had thought long dry. She hugs him fiercely
as the sobs wrack her.

John clutches her shoulders. It is all he ever wanted.

JOHN
It's okay. It'll by okay. We'll figure it
out.
SARAH
I love you, John. I always have.

JOHN
I know, Mom. I know.

TARISSA looks around at the bizarre tableau. Terminator has
wordlessly ripped open Dyson's shirt and examined the wound.

TERMINATOR
Clean penetration. No shattered bone.
Compression should control the loss of blood.

He takes Tarissa's hands and presses them firmly over the entrance and
exit wounds.

TERMINATOR
Do you have bandages?

DYSON
In the bathroom. Danny, can you get them for
us?

Danny nods and runs down the hall.
John disengages from Sarah. She wipes her tears, the instinct to
toughen up taking over again. But the healing moment has had its
effect, nevertheless.

John walks toward Dyson and Terminator.

DYSON
Who are you people?


John draws the Biker's knife from Terminator's boot. Hands it to him.


JOHN
Show him.

Terminator takes off his jacket to reveal bare arms.
John takes Blythe by the hands and leads her down the hall, away
from what is about to happen.

136B TIGHT ON TERMINATOR'S left forearm as the knife makes a deep cut just
below the elbow. In one smooth motion, Terminator cuts all the way
around his arm. With a second cut, he splits the skin of the forearm
from elbow to wrist.

TERMINATOR grasps the skin and strips is off his forearm like a
surgeon rips off a rubber glove. It comes off with a sucking rip,
leaving a bloody skeleton.

But the skeleton is made of bright metal, and is laced with hydraulic
actuators. The fingers are as finely crafted as watch parts... they
flex into a fist and extend. Terminator holds it up, palm out, in
almost the exact position of the one in the vault at Cyberdyne,
HOLD ON DYSON reacting to the servo-hand in front of him.
He's seen one of these before.

Tarissa is screaming now, but he doesn't hear her.

DYSON
My God.

TERMINATOR
Now listen to me very carefully.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Sarah arrives at the house and holds the family at gunpoint, intending to kill them. However, she hesitates and lowers the gun. Terminator then reveals his true nature as a cyborg, and together with John, they help Dyson. The scene ends with Sarah showing mercy and Terminator coming to the rescue.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Complex character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the scene too emotionally intense or morally ambiguous
Critique
  • The scene starts with a high level of tension and intensity, which is effective in drawing the audience in. However, the transition from Sarah almost pulling the trigger to her sudden change of heart feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from more internal conflict and buildup.
  • Sarah's emotional journey in this scene is powerful, but the execution of her decision to spare Dyson could be more nuanced. It would be beneficial to explore her conflicting emotions and the internal struggle she faces before ultimately lowering the gun.
  • The moment of Sarah breaking down and embracing John is a poignant and touching moment, but the emotional impact could be heightened by delving deeper into their relationship and the significance of this moment for both characters.
  • The reveal of Terminator's true nature as a cyborg is a pivotal moment in the scene, but the execution of this reveal could be more impactful. Consider building up to this moment with more tension and suspense.
  • The interaction between Terminator, John, Sarah, and Dyson is crucial in this scene, but the dialogue and dynamics between the characters could be further developed to enhance the emotional depth and complexity of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue for Sarah to convey her inner turmoil and conflicting emotions before making the decision to spare Dyson.
  • Explore the relationship between Sarah and John further to emphasize the significance of their bond and the impact of Sarah's breakdown on both characters.
  • Build up the reveal of Terminator's true nature with more suspense and tension to create a more impactful moment.
  • Enhance the dialogue and interactions between the characters to deepen the emotional complexity of the scene and highlight the conflicting motivations at play.
  • Consider adding subtle visual cues or gestures to convey the characters' emotions and internal struggles more effectively.



Scene 29 -  Confrontation and Revelation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
137 INT. HOUSE/KITCHEN - LATER

Sarah puts out her fifth cigarette. She's sitting on the counter.
John, Terminator, Dyson, and Tarissa are at the kitchen table, under
a single overhead light.

Dyson looks like that guy on the Sistine Chapel wall, the damned
soul... eyes fixed and staring with terrifying knowledge. His
shoulder is bandaged. Terminator's arm is wrapped with a blood-soaked
bandage below the elbow.

The steel forearm and hand gleam in the harsh kitchen light.
TRACKING AROUND THE TABLE as Terminator speaks... we don't hear
the words.

SARAH (V.O.)
Dyson listened while the Terminator laid it all
down. Skynet. Judgment Day... the history of
things to come. It's not every day you find
out you're responsible for 3 billion deaths.
He took it pretty well, considering...

Terminator finishes speaking.

DYSON
I feel like I'M gonna throw up.

He looks around at them, clutching the table like he's about to blow
away. His face, his posture, his ragged voice express soul-wrenching
terror. This is a man ripped out of normal life into their grim
world. His voice is pleading.

DYSON
You're judging me on thing's I haven't even
done yet. Jesus. How were we supposed to know?

Sarah speaks from the shadows behind them. Dyson turns to find her
looking right at him.
SARAH
Yeah. Right. How were you supposed to know?
Fucking men... all you know how to do is thrust
into the world with your... fucking ideas and
your weapons. Did you know that every gun in
the world is named after a man? Colt, Browning,
Smith, Thompson, Kalashnikov... all men. Men
built the hydrogen bomb, not women... men like
you thought it up. You're so creative. You
don't know what it's like to really create
something... to create a life. To feel it growing
inside you. All you know how to create is
death... you fucking bastards.

JOHN
Mom, Mom, we need to be more constructive here.
I don't see this as a gender-related issue.
(to the Dysons)
She's still tense.
(to Sarah)
We still have to figure out how to stop it all
from happening. Right?

TARISSA
But I thought... aren't we changing things? I
mean... right now? Changing the way it goes?

DYSON
(seizing on that)
That's right! There's no way I'm going to
finish the new processor now. Forget it. I'm
out of it. I'm quitting Cyberdyne tomorrow...
I'll sell real estate, I don't care,,,

SARAH
(coldly)
That's not good enough.

Dyson's voice is pitiful.

DYSON
Look, whatever you want me to do, I'll do. I
just want my kids to have a chance to grow up,
okay?

TERMINATOR
No one must follow your work.

DYSON
(thoughts racing)
Alright, yeah. You're right. We have to
destroy the stuff at the lab, the files, disk
drive... and everything I have here. Everything!
I don't care.

CUT TO:
138 FIRE ROARING IN A METAL TRASH BARREL.
Stacks of files are dumped onto it.
WIDER reveals we are in --

138A EXT, DYSON'S BACKYARD - NIGHT

Terminator dumps lighter fluid liberally over the fire, which flares
up, lighting his face demonically. Sarah, Dyson, Tarissa, and John
return from his office with more stuff -- files, notes, optical disks.
Even his kids are carrying stuff. It all goes into the fire. Dyson
drops the prototype onto the fire... his eyes hollow and distant.

He stares into the fire, watching his world burning. The has a
sudden thought.

DYSON
Do you know about the chip?

SARAH
What chip?

DYSON
They have it in a vault at Cyberdyne...
(to Terminator)
It's gotta be from the other one like you.

TERMINATOR
(to Sarah)
The CPU from the first terminator.

SARAH
Son of a bitch, I knew it!

DYSON
They told us not to ask where they got it. I
thought... Japan... hell, I don't know. I
didn't want to know.

SARAH
Those lying motherfuckers!

DYSON
I was scary stuff, radically advanced. It was
shattered... didn't work. But it gave us ideas,
It took us in new directions... things we would
never have thought of. All this work is based
on it.

TERMINATOR
I must be destroyed.

SARAH
(to Dyson)
Can you get us in there, past security?

DYSON
I think so, yeah. When?
Dyson looks at her, Terminator, then John. Sees his answer.

DYSON
Now?
(he takes a breath)
Yeah, right.

He turns to his wife. Her face is streaked with tears, but her eyes
are strong and clear. Tarissa puts her hands on his arm. She is
stunned by what she's heard, but dealing with it. She believe them.

TARISSA
Miles, I'm scared. Okay. But the only thing
that scares me more than you going... is you
not going.

He nods. She's right.

SARAH
(to Terminator)
Is it safe for them here?

TERMINATOR
(to Tarissa)
Take your kids. Go to a hotel. Right now.
Don't pack.
(to the others)
Let's go.

CUT TO:

138B EXT, HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Pavement rushing at us, lit by headlights. Beyond, darkness.

SARAH (V.O.)
The future, always so clear to me, has become
like a black highway at night. We were in
uncharted territory now... making up history
as we went along.

TILT UP to reveal a rectangle of light ahead. The Cyberdyne
Building...
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Sarah confronts Dyson about his role in creating weapons of war, leading to Dyson's realization of the destruction his work caused. Amidst tension and emotion, John calls for a constructive approach as they prepare to infiltrate Cyberdyne to prevent Judgment Day.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
  • Moral complexity
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil faced by the characters, especially Dyson, as he grapples with the realization of his role in creating Skynet and Judgment Day.
  • The dialogue between Sarah, Dyson, and the Terminator is impactful and reveals the inner conflicts and motivations of each character.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense and sets up the next phase of the story as the characters prepare to infiltrate Cyberdyne and destroy the technology that could lead to the apocalypse.
  • The visual imagery of the files being burned in the fire, along with Dyson's realization about the chip from the first terminator, adds depth to the scene and enhances the sense of urgency and sacrifice.
  • The transition from the intense confrontation in the kitchen to the burning of the files in the backyard effectively conveys the characters' determination to change the future.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from Dyson to further explore his internal struggle and the weight of his decisions.
  • Provide more insight into Tarissa's perspective and emotional journey as she grapples with the revelations about her husband's work and the impending danger.
  • Explore the dynamics between Sarah, John, and the Terminator in more depth to highlight their evolving relationships and the complexities of their mission.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or symbolic elements to enhance the themes of sacrifice, redemption, and the fight against fate in the scene.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the emotional intensity of the confrontation in the kitchen and the practical preparations for infiltrating Cyberdyne to maintain the momentum of the narrative.



Scene 30 -  Infiltrating Cyberdyne Systems
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
139 INT. CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS BUILDING/LOBBY - NIGHT

TIGHT ON A CARD-KEY SCANNER as Dyson's hand zips his security card
through a slot in one motion. There is the sound of a servo-lock,
and --

139A DYSON enter the spacious lobby, followed by Sarah, John, and
Terminator last of all. In a frontal angle, the others block
Terminator from view.

THE GUARD at the front desk, GIBBONS, looks up as Dyson moves toward
him. Dyson is pale and sweaty, but smiles warmly at the guard,
speaking well before he reaches the desk.
DYSON
Evening, Paul. These are friends of mine from
out of town, I just thought I'd take them up
and show them around.

GIBBONS
I'm sorry, Mr. Dyson. You know the rules about
visitors in the lab. I need written authoriz --

K-CHAK! Gibbons is staring down the barrels of Sarah's .45 and
Terminator's MAC-10.

TERMINATOR
I insist.

The guard is too stunned to move. We see that Terminator is wearing
his jacket and one black glove.
Gibbon's eyes go to the silent alarm button on the console.

SARAH
Don't even think about it.

Gibbons nods. He stays frozen. Terminator circles quickly and gets
the guard out of the chair. John pulls a roll of duct-tape from his
knapsack and tears off a piece.

140 INT. SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR

ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN and Terminator leads the group warily into the
corridor. They have a cart piled high with gear in nylon bags.
Dyson motions down the corridor to the right. As they walk, he
continues to fill them in --

DYSON
The vault needs two keys to open. Mine...
(holds up key)
... and one from the security station. It's in
a locker but my card should access it. Here
we go.

They stand in front of a wide security door. A sign above reads
SPECIAL PROJECTS DIVISION: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. Dyson zips
his key-card through the scanner and the door unlatches.

141 OMITTED

142 INT. FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR/LOBBY

A ROVING GUARD, MOSHIER, strolls down the long corridor from the
first-floor office block. A punch clock swings at his hip, and he's
just completed his circuit of the building. He passes the back of
elevators and rounds the corner to the front desk, calling out --

MOSHIER
Honey, I'm home...

He sees the desk is deserted and frowns. Figures Gibbons must be in
the can, so checks that first before getting alarmed.
TRACKING WITH HIM to the restroom around the corner,

MOSHIER
Hey, man, you shouldn't leave the --

142A OVER HIS SHOULDER we see past the door as he pushes it open, revealing
Gibbons handcuffed to the urinal. Moshier spins on a dime and sprints
to the desk where he slams down on the silent alarm button.

153 INT. SECURITY STATION

The security station is a pass-through area with a counter, behind
which are desks and a bank of monitors, showing boring movies about
empty corridors. Dyson crosses quickly to a locker behind the
monitor area. He swished his card repeatedly through the scanner on
the locker. Nothing happens. The light on the locker is blinking
red. Sarah notices Dyson's alarmed expression.

DYSON
What? WHAT IS IT?

Dyson whips around, staring at a light flashing on the console behind
him.

DYSON
Silent alarm's been tripped. It neutralizes
the codes throughout the building. Nothing'll
open now.

We see his nerve snapping.

DYSON
We should abort.

SARAH
NO!! We're going all the way! You got that,
Dyson?

She's right in his face. Somehow, it works for him. He nods, getting
some resolve from somewhere.

144 INT. LOBBY

Moshier's gotten Gibbons loose. He's on the phone to the cops.

GIBBONS
... multiple armed subjects. Look, I think
it's the guy from that mall shootout, and the
woman... yeah, her. Pretty sure. Just send
everything you've got in the area --

145 INT. SECURITY STATION./LAB

John jumps up on the desk next to the wall-mounted locker. Dyson
stares in amazement as John starts pulling his counter-electronics
gear out of his knapsack. It's just another Ready-Teller to him.
JOHN
You guys get started on the lab... I can open
this.

145A Dyson leads Terminator and Sarah to the main lab doors. Another
servo-lock.
He tries his card. Nothing.

DYSON
No good.

TERMINATOR
Let me try mine.

He unslings the M-79, pulling it over his shoulder in one motion.
Sarah grabs Dyson and drags him back down the hall.
Terminator opens the breach and slide in one of the fat 40mm H.E.
grenades. He flips the thing closed with a snap of the wrist.

SARAH
(yelling as she runs)
John! Fire-in-the-hole!

John drops what he is doing, and covers his ears.
Terminator fires at inhumanely close range.
145B The door EXPLODES into kindling. The concussion blow his jacket
open, and flying shrapnel whizzes all around him. Before the
thunderclap has faded Terminator walks into the fire and smoke.
John goes back to work without missing a beat.
Sarah and a stunned Dyson walk through the burning doorframe into the
Artificial Intelligence Lab.

A SIREN is sounding. The HALON FIRE-CONTROL SYSTEM has been
triggered. The invisible gas roars in, putting out the flames.

DYSON
Fire's set off the halo system! Here...
hurry!

Dyson runs to a wall cabinet and pulls out some BREATHING MASKS. He
hands one to Sarah and dons the other. Then he reaches out to hand
one to Terminator.

DYSON
Here!

Terminator doesn't need a mask, since is oxygen requirements are so
low. He ignores Dyson as he removes his massive backpack and opens
it. Dyson shrugs and tosses the mask on a desk. He turns to Sarah.

DYSON
(yelling through the mask)
We'll have to keep these on a couple minutes,
till the gas clears.

Terminator pulls two five-gallon jerry-cans of gasoline from his
pack.
Sarah starts pulling out book-sized, olive-grab CLAYMORE MINES,
stacking them next to the gasoline. Dyson stares. Part of him can't
believe they're really doing this.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Dyson's group infiltrates the Cyberdyne Systems Building, subdues a guard, and proceeds to the Artificial Intelligence Lab. However, a silent alarm is triggered, leading to conflicts and increased tension.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High-stakes tension
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple characters and actions
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved in infiltrating Cyberdyne Systems.
  • The dialogue feels a bit flat and could benefit from more intensity and emotion, especially given the gravity of the situation.
  • The actions of the characters, particularly Dyson, could be more decisive and impactful to heighten the suspense and drama of the scene.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the internal conflicts of the characters, such as Sarah's moral dilemma and Dyson's guilt over his role in creating Skynet.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and immersive to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and tension in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Intensify the dialogue to reflect the high stakes and emotional turmoil of the characters.
  • Add more physical actions and reactions to convey the urgency and tension of the situation.
  • Explore the internal conflicts of the characters through their actions and dialogue to add depth to the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and suspenseful atmosphere.
  • Consider adding twists or unexpected obstacles to increase the suspense and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 31 -  Operation Cyberdyne
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
146 INT. DYSON HOUSE - NIGHT

The T-1000 moves slowly though the ravaged office, analyzing what has
happened here. It walks down the dark hallway. The place is
deserted. The police-walkie clipped on its belt (real, not simulated)
blares to life.

DISPATCHER (V.O.)
All units, all units. 211 in progress at 2144
Kramer Street, the Cyberdyne building. Multiple
suspects, armed with automatic weapons and
explosives. SWAT unit is en route...

147 EXT. HOUSE/STREET

The T-1000 sprints up and throws its leg over the big C.H.P. Kawasaki.
Fires it up. It smokes an arcing scorch-mark on the pavement as it
spins around and roars away.

CUT TO:

148 INT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING/LAB

TIGHT ON A LARGE DISK DRIVE. State-of-the-art. Very expensive. A
FIRE AXE smashes down through the housing, shattering the disk.

148A WIDER, revealing a scene of high-tech pillage. Terminator beats the
disk drive into junk and steps to another. WHAM. Same routine. He's
already demolished half a dozen.
Sarah topples a file cabinet, scattering files.
Dyson staggers up with an armload of heavy M-O (magnetic-optical)
disks and drops them on a growing stack in the middle of the floor.
He and Sarah have their breathing masks hanging down around their
necks, since the halon gas has dissipated.

DYSON
(to Sarah, panting)
Yeah, all that stuff! And all the disks in
those offices. Especially my office...
everything in my office!
(to Terminator)
These, too! This is important.
(SMASH!)
And all this here... that's it.

148B Sarah goes into Dyson's office and starts hurling everything out the
door onto the central junkpile... books, files, everything on the
desk.

A FRAMED PHOTO of Dyson's wife and kids lands on top of the heap.
Tarissa, hugging Danny and Blythe, all grinning. The glass is
shattered.
148C Terminator cuts a swath, under Dyson's direction, exploding equipment
into fragments with his inhuman swings.
SMASH! It's carnage. Millions in hardware, and all irreplaceable
fruits of their years of research... shattered, broken, dumped in a
heap for the big bonfire of destiny.
Dyson stops a second, panting.

DYSON
Give me that thing a second.

Terminator hands him the axe. Dyson hefts it one-handed. He turns to
a lab table... on it is another prototype processor.

DYSON
I've worked for years on this thing.

Swinging awkwardly but with great force he smashes the axe down onto
the processor prototype, exploding it into fragments. His shoulder is
agony, but he looks satisfied.

149 INT. SECOND FLOOR SECURITY STATION

John taps away at his little lap-top, which is running code
combinations into the card-key lock. Suddenly, the green light on
the lock goes on and it unlocks with a clunk.

JOHN
Easy money.

He whips it open, revealing a rack of keys. But the VAULT-KEY is
distinctive, a long steel rectangle on a neck-chain. John grabs it
and runs toward the lab.

150 INT. LAB

Sarah and Terminator are working like a crack team, rigging the
explosives. She is taping the claymores to the gas cans with duct
tape to create powerful incendiary bombs. Terminator is attaching
claymores and blocks of C-4 plastic explosive to the large MAINFRAME
COMPUTER cabinets nearby. All the claymores are wired back to one
detonator with has a RADIO-CONTROL RELAY switch.

DYSON
How do you set them off?

Terminator shows him a REMOTE DETONATOR, a small transmitter with a
red plunger.

TERMINATOR
Radio remote.

He makes a plunger-pushing motion with his thumb and an accompanying
"click" sound. Dyson nods.
Just then John comes running in, holding up the key.

JOHN
I got it. Piece of cake.
SARAH
(to Dyson and Terminator)
Go! I'll finish here.

They run out as the SOUND OF SIRENS grow louder outside.

TERMINATOR
I'll deal with the police.

JOHN
Remember what I said, you can't...

TERMINATOR
Trust me.

151 EXT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING

The security duo of Moshier and Gibbons cowers behind cars in the
parking lot in front of the building. They turns as L.A.P.D. BLACK-
AND-WHITES pour into the lot, turn the area into a disco of whirling
blue and red lights.

152 OMITTED

153 EXT. CYBERDYNE BUILDING

The cops are jumping from their cars and ducking behind them.
Emphasis on small arms here. Behind them an ugly BLACK SWAT VAN
screeches into the lot.

153A We hear the THUMP OF ROTORS as a POLICE CHOPPER arrives and swings in
close to the building. It rakes its XENON SPOTLIGHT through the
second floor offices.

154 INT./EXT. SECOND FLOOR OFFICE

Terminator crosses the office toward the floor-to-ceiling windows.
He is outlines starkly by the spotlight as it rakes through the dark
offices. Without breaking stride he kicks an executive desk toward
the window.
154A Glass explodes outward and the desk topples, falling to the sidewalk
below.

154B Terminator, standing at the edge, FIRES A LONG BURST with strafes the
police cars lines up below. Cops duck as glass flies. Terminator,
with his superb aim, hits no one. But noticed is served.

154C The cops (surprise) FIRE BACK. Terminator turns and is walking
calmly from the window as glass, office furniture, drapes etc. are
riddled by return fire. A few rounds hit his back, but he doesn't
notice. He reloads as he walks.

155 INT. VAULT ANTECHAMBER

TIGHT ON A KEY inserted into one of the vault locks.

WIDER as John and Dyson stand poised, hands on keys.
JOHN
And let's see what's behind door number one.

Dyson nods and they turns the keys together. The vault grumbles to
itself, withdrawing it locking bolts with a final KLONK!
Together Dyson and John swing the door open.

156 EXT./INT. LOBBY

The varsity takes the field as the SWAT TROOPERS sprint forward by
squads. They flank the lobby and work their way inside, deploying
rapidly. They move and freeze, behind cover, quivering with
adrenaline. They have all that great SWAT equipment: body armor,
gas-masks, M-16s, tear-gas launchers, ropes. The works. They make
a lot of hand signals and keep their mouths shut. They're well-
trained and deadly.

157 OUTSIDE we see cops firing TEAR GAS grenades through the broken
windows into second-floor offices.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary The T-1000 investigates a ravaged office before pursuing a lead at Cyberdyne. Simultaneously, Terminator, Sarah, and Dyson infiltrate Cyberdyne and prepare to destroy crucial equipment and set explosives. John successfully acquires a vault key as the SWAT team surrounds the building, setting the stage for an impending confrontation.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Clear objective and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth in dialogue
  • Focus on action over character development
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved in infiltrating the Cyberdyne building and setting up explosives.
  • The dialogue feels a bit flat and lacks depth, especially in such a crucial moment of the story.
  • The actions of the characters, particularly Terminator, seem too straightforward and lack complexity or nuance.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, especially Dyson and Sarah, in destroying their life's work and potentially altering the future.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and engaging to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Add more tension and urgency to the scene by increasing the sense of danger and the consequences of failure.
  • Enhance the dialogue to reflect the emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, especially Dyson and Sarah.
  • Introduce more complexity and depth to the actions of the characters, particularly Terminator, to make them more engaging and unpredictable.
  • Explore the internal struggles of the characters as they grapple with the decision to destroy their work and potentially change the future.
  • Revise the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive setting that enhances the overall atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 32 -  Battle for the Terminator Relics
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
158 INT. VAULT

John and Dyson are isolated from the world in this silent steel womb.
Dyson opens the cabinet containing the terminator relics. It's John
turn to stare with uneasy deja-vu as he sees the terminator hand and
CPU.

Then in one vicious move he sweeps his arm behind the inert-gas flasks
and hurls them to the floor. They SHATTER. John snatches the CPU
and the metal hand out of the broken glass.

JOHN
Got ol' Skynet by the ball now, Miles. Come
on, let's book!

Clutching the steel hand and pocketing the chip like it's a Mars bar
he just bought, John runs out. Dyson follows.

159 INT. FIRST FLOOR CORRIDOR/STAIRWELL

We see the advance squad of SWATs make it to one of the stairwells.
They start up, two at a time, covering each other ritualistically by
the numbers.

160 INT. LAB/HALL

John pelts into the lab with Dyson stumbling along behind him.
Sarah is just finished wiring all the charges to the central
detonator.

JOHN
Ready to rock?

SARAH
Ready.
John tosses her the metal hand. She catches it and bends to put the
hand in her empty back-pack. Sarah zips the pack and starts to shuck
into it.

Dyson's running out of steam. The bandages at his shoulder are soaked
with seeping blood. He stands in the middle of the lab, saying
goodbye in his mind, looking weak and empty.
Terminator strides into the lab.

TERMINATOR
Time to go. Right now.

He and John head back the way they came, through security.
Sarah sees that in her work, she has set the detonator down twenty
feet away, near where Dyson is standing.

SARAH
Dyson, hand me the detonator. Let's go --

He gingerly picks up the detonator. Starts toward her. Then --
160A CRASH!! THE DOORS AT THE BACK END OF THE LAB ARE KICKED OPEN.
SWAT LEADER and two others OPEN FIRE.
Their M-16s rake the room. Sarah dives behind a computer cabinet.
Dyson is HIT. He is slammed to the floor by the impacts.

161 IN THE HALL, John hears the firing and spins to run back.

JOHN
Mommm!!!

Terminator grabs him as bullets slam into his broad back. He makes
it around the corner with John, out of the line of fire.

162 IN THE LAB, bullets rake over Sarah's head, smacking all around her,
clanging into the machine protecting her. She can see Dyson, slumped
on the floor. Debris and flying glass rain on her as the SWATs pour
on the fire. The detonator is clutched in his hand. He rolls to face
her, his eyes bulging from the pain of his torn-up guts.

DYSON
Go.

162A Sarah hesitates a split second. Then she snap-rolls and fast-crawls
through broken glass and debris into the hall where --

TERMINATOR grabs her by the jacket and hauls her roughly to her feet.
Bullets rake the walls behind them as they sprint forward. They
round the corner. John does a fast take that she's not hit and they
run together through the security checkpoint.

163 INT. SECURITY STATION/CORRIDOR

John reaches the first door, and tries it. Locked.
Terminator unslings the M-79 blooper smoothly, opening the breach.

TERMINATOR
Get back.
He pulls a grenade from the bandolier over his shoulder, and slides
it into the bore. Flick his wrist. The breech snaps shut. Sarah
and John have a split second to duck and cover.

TERMINATOR
Cover you ears and open you mouth.

163A They do. KABOOM!!! Twenty feet away the door, and half the wall
around it, EXPLODES outward. The backblast hits Terminator full
force, but he strides through the smoking hole before the debris has
even hit the floor.

164 OMITTED

165 INT. LAB

SWAT LEADER moves cautiously through the lab. Cat-stepping, he
circles around a desk which block Dyson's body from his view. His
M-16 is leveled crisply. We look over his shoulder as he rounds the
desk, revealing --

MILES DYSON is not dead. He will be very soon, but at this moment he
is conscious. He has propped himself up against the desk, and holds a
BOOK in one hand. A heavy technical manual.

Below the book is the detonator, upright on the tile floor.
The message is clear. "Shoot me, the book drops on the plunger.
Adios." Dyson wheezes, trying to draw enough breath to talk.

DYSON
I don't know... how much longer... I can...
hold this thing...

SWAT Leader seems to see the wires, the claymores, the gas cans all
around him for the first time. His eyes, visible through his gas-
mask, go very wide.
He spins and motions his squad back.

LEADER
Fall back!! Everybody out! Move it! OUT
NOW!

They retreat so fast they crash into the next group coming up the
stairs.

166 INT. CORRIDOR

Terminator reaches the main elevators. Hits the button. Sarah and
John are coughing and stumbling in the choking darkness, buddy-
breathing with the single mask. The doors open. They get in the
elevator and head down.

167 INT. LAB

Dyson is lying amid the ruins of his dreams. Sprawled on the floor,
he has his back propped up against the desk. He is bathed in his own
blood, which runs out in long fingers across the tiles. His breathing
is shallow and raspy. He still holds the book, trembling, above the
switch.

In his lap is the picture from his desk. He has pulled it from the
debris next to him. A tear trickles from his eye. His wife and
children smile up at him through broken glass.

168 OMITTED

169 CUT TO THE PUPIL OF HIS EYE, at the moment of death, the instant the
light fade from his eyes and he is gone --
His arm drops and the book his the switch --

170 EXT. BUILDING

As the face of the building EXPLODES in an eruption of glass and fire.
Remains of the second-floor windows shower the parking lot and a huge
fireball rolls out, leaping into the sky.
The cops look up, stunned. The helicopter banks away from the heat.
Burning debris falls among the cop cars and a number of officers
break ranks, pulling back.

171 ONLY ONE OF THEM seems to be moving with purpose. A BIKE COP who has
just arrived drives through the disorganized crowd, directly toward
the building.

171A T-1000 guns the bike up a ramp to a pedestrian bridge which crosses
from a parking structure to the Cyberdyne building. It enters on the
second floor, which is now a burning maze.

172 INT. SECOND FLOOR/OFFICE/CORRIDOR

T-1000 drives into the smoky wreckage. It draws a Hoechler and Koch
MPK machine pistol and cruises slowly into the firelit offices,
scanning.

172A IN THE CORRIDOR the bike skirts flaming wreckage as it idles forward.
T-1000 scans the leaping shadows for its prey.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary John and Dyson retrieve the terminator relics from the vault and prepare to escape. They encounter an advance squad of SWATs and a fierce firefight ensues. Dyson is hit and sacrifices himself to detonate the explosives, destroying the lab. Sarah and John escape with the help of the Terminator, who uses a grenade launcher to blast open a locked door. SWAT Leader realizes the danger and orders his squad to retreat. Dyson dies, holding a book above the detonator switch, causing the building to explode. A lone bike cop arrives on the scene and enters the burning building, while the T-1000 searches for its prey on the second floor.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Clear character motivations
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable sacrifice by Dyson
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a lot of moving parts and high stakes. However, the pacing could be improved to build more tension and suspense.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the urgency of the situation, but there could be more emotional depth and character development to enhance the impact of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the action unfolding, but there could be more attention to detail in setting the scene and creating atmosphere.
  • The conflict between the characters and the SWAT team is well-established, but there could be more complexity and nuance in the interactions to add depth to the scene.
  • The resolution of the conflict with Dyson sacrificing himself is powerful, but there could be more emotional resonance and impact in his final moments.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from the characters to deepen their motivations and relationships.
  • Work on building tension through pacing and suspenseful moments leading up to the explosive climax of the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting for the action to unfold.
  • Explore the dynamics between the characters and the SWAT team to add layers of complexity and conflict to the scene.
  • Focus on the emotional impact of Dyson's sacrifice to make his final moments more poignant and memorable.



Scene 33 -  Terminator's SWAT Team Takedown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
173 INT. GROUND FLOOR/ELEVATOR/LOBBY

The elevator doors part and Terminator eases a look out into the
corridor. The walls on either side of him ERUPT WITH BULLET HITS.
The SWATs have the lobby end of the corridor blocked off. They're
totally trapped, cut off and screwed.

JOHN
(to Sarah)
Don't forget. It's always darkness right
before... you're totally fucked.

173A The SWATs fire a tear-gas grenade toward the elevators. It spews the
vicious CS gas out in a swirling cloud which envelops Sarah and John,
who are pressed against the back wall of the elevator.
TERMINATOR
Keep your eyes closed. Don't move.
(they nod, eyes squeezed shut)
I'll be back.

He slings the grenade launcher over his shoulder and walks out into
the corridor.

173B BLAM. A tear-gas grenade ricochets from wall to wall as it flies down
the corridor. It skids to rest in front of Terminator, throwing out
a white cloud which quickly fills the corridor.
173C In the elevator, Sarah and John are choking, handing the breathing
mask back and forth desperately. They're scarred. This looks like
it.
173D ANGLE ON THE SWAT TEAM, gripping their weapons at the mouth of the
corridor. They watch the boiling cloud, waiting.

173E THEIR POV -- on the wall of boiling smoke. A FIGURE APPEARS. Walking
Totally unaffected. Terminator emerges from the smoke. Not even
misty-eyed. Not what they expected.

LEADER
(through megaphone)
Stop where you are. Lie down on the floor,
face down. Down on floor, now!

He continues to stride toward them.
The SWATs tense up. They've never seen anything like this. They're
not sure what to do. Closer and closer.

LEADER
Drop him.

They OPEN FIRE. The corridor is filled with CRACKING THUNDER. The
rounds tear into Terminator's chest. Stomach. Face. Thighs. His
leather jacket leaps and jerks as the rounds hit him. The SWATs
think the guy's wearing body armor or something. They keep firing.
The rounds tear into him, staggering him slightly, but he keeps
moving.

LEADER
You're not hitting him!

SWAT #1
(getting scared)
Yes I am!

Terminator draws his .45 smoothly. Unhurried. He shoots the nearest
man in the left thigh. As he screams and drops, Terminator shoots
him in the right thigh. Terminator bends down and picks up the
shrieking man's weapon... the TEAR-GAS LAUNCHER.

It is one of those new rotary jobs that hold 12 rounds in a big drum.
Terminator shoots the next SWAT in the chest with the tear-gas
launcher. The gas canister hits the guy's body armor and doesn't
penetrate. But it's like getting slugged in the stomach with a full-
swing from a baseball bat. The SWAT fold double and hits the tiles,
gasping.
Terminator is an image from Hell, a tall figure in shredded black
leather, streaked with blood. One eye is a bloody socket, the metal
eye-servo glistening. The flesh of one cheek hangs down in tatters,
revealing the chrome cheekbone beneath. The whole front of his
jacket is blown open, revealing his metal armor chest.

The remaining SWATs start to fall back. One turns to run and --
KPOW! A gas canister nail him in the back, sending him sprawling.

173F Terminator fires three gas canisters into the lobby. It fills
rapidly with the white gas, cutting the visibility to a few feet. It
is total pandemonium. SWAT LEADER crouches in the fog, white-
knuckling the rifle. Terminator looms suddenly out of the mist right
in front of him. POOM! Terminator drills him in the leg with the
.45. As the guy screams and drops rifle to clutch his leg, Terminator
rips his gas mask off. The SWAT leader drops writhing to the floor,
choking and gagging, clutching his bleeding thigh.

Terminator walks up to two SWATs at the front doors. POW-POW. Leg
and leg. He snatches their masks as they fall. The gunfire has
stopped. Nobody an see anything. Screams and whimpers echo in the
smoke.

174 EXT. BUILDING

Smoke boils out of the front door as a figure emerges. Firing the
tear-gas launcher with one hand, Terminator launches all remaining
rounds among the cop vehicles. Unprotected officers run, choking
and half-blind, slamming into cars and tripping over each other. It
is a total rout.

175 AT THE SWAT VAN on of the SWATs is rapidly handing out the remaining
masks to unprotected cops. A FIGURE appears out of the smoke beside
him. He looks up. His mask is ripped off and he is handed the empty
launcher. Instinctively he catches it. Terminator grabs his flak
vest with one hand and sails him out into the mist.

175A INT. SWAT VAN

Terminator strides the length of the van and climbs into the driver's
seat. No keys in the ignition. He flips down the sun visor. The
keys fall into his hand. He starts the van and slams it into gear.

176 INT./EXT. LOBBY

The tear gas has cleared to a thin haze. The uninjured SWATs are
tending their wounded. They look up at the sound of shouts and a
roaring engine.

176A THE SWAT VAN CRASHES INTO THE LOBBY in an explosion of glass and
debris. Cops scatter as the van screeches across the lobby in a
smoking one-eighty, sliding to a stop across the corridor which leads
to the bank of elevators. Terminator backs up until -- crunch -- he
seals the corridor with the back of the van.

176B Sarah and John stumble along the corridor, coughing.
They leap into the back of the van and Terminator hits the throttle.
The van roars across the lobby and exits through blown-out windows.
CUT TO:

177 INT./EXT SECOND FLOOR

T-1000, astride the Kawasaki, looks down from a second-floor office
and sees the van tearing across the parking lot with the remaining
cops firing at it. It knows. It looks around. Analyzing options.
It sees the helicopter hovering outside the building at the end of
this corner office block...
It twists full throttle on the powerful bike.
Roars through the office, accelerating fast, straight at the
windows --

178 T-1000 BLASTS OUT THROUGH THE GLASS, airborne on the motorcycle. It
rockets across the gap to the hovering chopper and --
178A SLAMS into the canopy. The impact of bike and rider pitches the
chopper radically. The startled PILOT fights to regain control as the
bike tumbles to the pavement below.
178B The T-1000 doesn't. It clings to the shattered canopy.
Nightmarishly, the pilot watches as the T-1000 smashes its head
through the plexiglass canopy and rapidly POURS ITSELF through the
jagged hole. It reforms instantly into its previous self on the
passenger seat.

178C It hurls the pilot out of the chopper and slides into the driver's
seat.
The chopper is auto-rotating, spinning out of control. It drops
toward the parking lot. T-1000 recovers control ten feet above the
ground.

178D Cops hits the deck as the tail-boom swings around, going over them by
inches.
The chopper lifts out in a power climb, roaring away across the
parking lot toward the fleeing SWAT van.

OKAY, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, HERE IT COMES...
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In the midst of tear gas, Terminator confronts a SWAT team, sustaining multiple shots without faltering. He effortlessly eliminates the team, showcasing his relentless nature. To rescue Sarah and John, he crashes a SWAT van into the building's lobby.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High stakes
  • Well-defined characters
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Some cliched action tropes
Critique
  • The scene is action-packed and intense, with a good build-up of tension and suspense as the SWAT team confronts Terminator.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and dangerous situation.
  • The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying the urgency and danger of the situation.
  • The characterization of Terminator as an unstoppable force is well portrayed, adding to the tension of the scene.
  • The use of tear gas and the SWAT team's attempts to stop Terminator create a sense of desperation and danger.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah and John to enhance their perspective during the intense situation.
  • Explore the aftermath of the SWAT team's encounter with Terminator to show the consequences of their actions.
  • Include more interactions between Terminator and the SWAT team to showcase his relentless nature and the futility of their efforts.
  • Add a moment of vulnerability or weakness for Terminator to create a more dynamic and engaging character arc.
  • Consider incorporating more strategic elements or tactics in the confrontation to add depth to the action sequence.



Scene 34 -  Highway Chase and Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
179 INT./EXT. SWAT VAN/HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Terminator looks back at his two passengers as he turns the boxy van
onto a divided highway. Sarah and John are catching their breath,
still coughing from the CS gas. Terminator look to the rear-view
mirror. He sees the xenon searchlight of the chopper behind them,
gaining.

Sarah looks around the inside of the SWAT van. It is a rolling
armory. There are rifles, ballistic vests, all manner of equipment.

SARAH
John, get under these. Hurry!

He sits against the front bulkhead of the van and she pile bullet-
proof vests on top of him, completely covering him. Then she grabs
two M-16s from the wall-rack and loads them. She starts on a shotgun
as --

180 The SWAT van weaves through sparse traffic at high speed.
Terminator slews the unstable van around cars and trucks which seem to
be crawling. The van hits it top speed of eighty. They swerve to
miss the back end of A WHITE 18-WHEEL TANKER.

180A The chopper swings in behind them, closing fast.

180B T-1000 reaches through the shattered canopy with the MPK machine
pistol and FIRES. The back of the can CLANGS WITH HITS. The door
windows are BLOWN IN.

Terminator weaves the van, trying to throw off the T-1000's aim.
The unstable vehicle screeches and wobbles on the edge of control.
One of the doors is kicked open. Sarah, wearing a ballistic vest,
crouches in the doorway, whipping up the M-16. SHE OPENS FIRE.

180C Bullets riddle what's left of the chopper's canopy as the T-1000
returns fire.
The van is stitched with hits.

180D INSIDE THE VAN holes are punched through the thin sheet-metal walls,
ripping up the interior. The vests covering John are hit repeatedly.
We see that Sarah has hung two Kevlar vests on the inside of the back
door and she ducks behind these as bullets hit around her. She pops
back out and fires in controlled bursts. The M-16 empties and she
grabs another.

180E Terminator serves around a car which is changing lanes, hitting it
and knocking it skidding.

181 OMITTED

181A Sarah reloads and keeps firing. The van swerves around a Toyota. A
moment later the helicopter passes it, the rotor just clearing the top
of the car.

181B T-1000 FIRES the machine pistol.
181C Sarah has popped out to fire. She takes a HIT in the thigh, and
several rounds hammer into her Kevlar vest. She is thrown back onto
the floor of the van. She lies there, an exposed target...

181D Terminator sees the T-1000 preparing to fire again.
He locks up the van's brakes. Tires scream as the vehicle shimmies.
Sarah is thrown forward, sliding up to the bulkhead next to John.
182 And the helicopter SLAMS RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF THE VAN.
The rotor disintegrates. The back doors of the van are crushed in as
the canopy, the whole front of the fuselage is HAMMERED INTO JUNK,
trapping the T-1000 inside the twisted metal. The chopper hits the
pavement, flips, sideways, and cartwheels... smashing itself into a
shapeless mass of twisted metal.
It falls away behind the van, tumbling end over end.

182A Terminator fights to control the van, which is fishtailing violently
from the impact. It smashes up against the center divider, screeching
along the concrete, and then pulls away. Terminator puts the hammer
down and the van accelerates. He swerves to avoid an UGLY PICKUP
crawling like a snail ahead.

THE RIGHT FRONT FENDER of the van, crumpled by slamming the wall, is
sawing into the tire. The tire blows and peels off the clean rim.
The steel wheel grinds across the pavement, striking trails of sparks,
and the van slides sideways and topples --
STEEL SCREAMS on pavement as the van grinds to a stop on its side.

182B INSIDE THE VAN, John crawls to Sarah, who is groaning and holding her
bleeding leg. She is white and shocky. Terminator starts to
extricate himself from the crumpled driver's seat.

183 BACK DOWN THE ROAD, THE HELICOPTER wreckage is a crumpled ball of junk
metal, unrecognizable. Behind it, the TANKER TRUCK brakes hard,
shuddering and groaning, trying to stop. The big tires lock up in
clouds of tire-smoke. The rig comes to a shuddering stop just short
of the wrecked chopper.

183A The shaken DRIVER jumps down.
The behind the wreckage a cop emerges, walking toward him.

DRIVER
Goddamn, are you alri --

183B SSSHHCK! T-1000 drives a blade through the man's abdomen and walks
on past without slowing, or even looking at him.

183C It climbs into the open cab of the tanker. Releases the brake.
As the truck bellows are rolls forward we see the large blue letters
on the side which say "CRYOCO INC. LIQUID NITROGEN SUPPLY'.

184 AT THE SWAT VAN John and Terminator are carrying Sarah out of the
wreck. Terminator has the M-79 slung over his shoulder, the
bandolier of grenades, and his .45 stuck in his waistband. John has
borrowed a 12-GAUGE RIOT GUN from the SWATs.

184A The pickup they passes seconds earlier pulls up to them. The DRIVER,
A Hispanic guy in his 50's, is getting out to help them. Terminator
and John hear a CRASH and look back as the
185 helicopter wreckage is knocked aside by the accelerating tanker truck.

186 JOHN
Holy shit. Come on, Mom... we gotta keep
moving... come on --

TERMINATOR
(to the pickup owner)
We need your truck.

The guy seems to know better than to try and stop him as Terminator
slides Sarah into the front seat and climbs in behind the wheel. John
runs to the passenger side.

187 THE TANKER ROARS, spewing smoke from its chrome stacks as it shifts
up through the gears.

188 Terminator slams the pickup in gear, checking the rear-view. The
tanker is a hundred feet behind them now, and really moving.
Terminator puts the throttle down, but the pickup is and old slug
loaded down by a heavy home-made wooden camper-shell. It accelerates
slowly.
189 THE TANKER slams into one end of the SWAT van, spinning it out of the
way with a roar and screech of twisting metal. The 18-wheeler shifts
to a higher gear, still accelerating.

190 INT./EXT. PICKUP TRUCK

With the tanker right behind them, Terminator cuts the wheel, swerving
the pickup back and forth across the lanes.
The big rig stays right on them, it tanker whiplashing violently.

JOHN
Faster! He's right on us!

Terminator doesn't reply. He rapidly unslings the blooper, still
around his neck, and reaches for a grenade.

191 LOW ANGLE ON THE TRACTOR-TRAILER as it roars right up to the lens,
filling frame with chrome and lights.

191A K-WHAM!! It rams the backs of the pickup, sending it skidding.

191B Then the T-1000 pulls the tractor trailer up alongside the pickup and
crabs over, sandwiching it against the center divider. The spinning
chrome hubs tear into the passenger side door and the guard rail
screeches along the other side.

The pickup bucks and shakes insanely. It ricochets violently between
the big-rig and the divider
Horrible SCREECH of tortured steel.
Sparks pour in sheets of fire from both sides.
The windshield shatters as the door-posts buckle in.
Metal and glass shower in through the side windows.
The frame twists and buckles. John feels like the fillings are being
shaken right out of his teeth.
The wooden camper disintegrates, falling away as kindling behind
them.

191C INT. TANKER CAB

T-1000 holds the wheel hard over, mercilessly grinding the pickup.
The whole rig jerks and shakes with the violence of the sustained
hammering.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary As the T-1000 relentlessly pursues them, Terminator drives a SWAT van with Sarah and John hiding within. Sarah retaliates against the helicopter's attack, while Terminator skillfully navigates the van to evade the T-1000's shots. The helicopter crashes into the van, trapping the T-1000. They escape to a pickup truck, but the T-1000 resurfaces in a tanker truck, leading to a fiery collision that destroys the pickup. Ultimately, Terminator, Sarah, and John manage to flee from the wreckage and secure a new vehicle.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High stakes
  • Emotional impact
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential for sensory overload with the detailed description of the action
Critique
  • The scene is action-packed and filled with tension, which is engaging for the audience. However, the pacing could be improved by balancing the action sequences with moments of character development or emotional depth.
  • The use of the SWAT van as a rolling armory adds an interesting element to the scene, showcasing the preparedness of the characters. This detail could be further emphasized to enhance the tension and stakes of the situation.
  • The action sequences involving the helicopter and the tanker truck are visually dynamic and intense, creating a sense of urgency and danger. However, the scene could benefit from clearer descriptions of the spatial relationships between the vehicles to enhance the reader's understanding of the action.
  • The injuries sustained by Sarah add a sense of vulnerability and risk to the scene, increasing the stakes for the characters. This element of danger could be further explored to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The use of Terminator's unwavering determination and resourcefulness in the face of danger is effectively portrayed, highlighting his role as a protector and warrior. This aspect of his character could be further developed to showcase his growth and evolution throughout the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding moments of character interaction or reflection amidst the action to provide depth and emotional resonance.
  • Clarify the spatial dynamics of the action sequences to ensure that readers can easily follow the progression of events.
  • Explore the emotional impact of Sarah's injuries and the danger she faces to heighten the tension and stakes of the scene.
  • Further develop Terminator's character arc by showcasing his internal struggles and growth in the face of adversity.
  • Experiment with varying the pacing of the scene to create a more dynamic and engaging narrative flow.



Scene 35 -  Tanker Chase and Explosion
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
191D INT./EXT. PICKUP

Terminator slides toward the passenger side. Keeping his foot on the
gas he lifts John over him and puts him in the driver's seat.

TERMINATOR
Drive for a minute.

JOHN
Where you going?!

Terminator slams the shattered windshield with the palm of his hand.
Held together by the plastic laminate, the windshield flops out of its
frame. It flies over the top of the truck.
191E Terminator pushes his upper body out over the dashboard and stands up.
He turns and aims the M-79 one-handed.
191F POOM! The grenade misses the T-1000 by less than a foot. It EXPLODES
against the front bulkhead of the tanker, almost at the top. Liquid
nitrogen pours from the opening, swept back by the 60-mph windstream.

191G The big-rig swerves as T-1000 regains control. The tanker swings like
a pendulum behind the cab.

191H The pickup accelerates, getting back out in front by a few yards.
Behind it the big-rig is trailing a swirling comet-tail of nitrogen
vapor. It is gaining again.

Terminator, still standing, opens the breech and starts to reload.
191I John cuts across the highway and takes an OFF RAMP.

191J T-1000 swerves the smoking behemoth across the lanes and down the
ramp after him, still accelerating. It is twenty feet behind them
and closing when Terminator closes the breech and FIRES.

191K The grenade hits the front grill and EXPLODES.
The radiator is destroyed, along with half the hood. Steam blasts
out, obscuring the whole front of the truck.

191L The semi rams the back of the pickup again. Spewing smoke and vapor
like some demon locomotive, the tractor-trailer pounds into the back
of the pickup. Driving it right through the intersection at the
bottom of the ramp, and straight toward --

EXT. STEEL MILL

The chase has led them to an area of heavy industry.

192 THE GATES are blasted off their hinges as the semi rams the pickup
right through them. Terminator struggles to reload amid the chaos
and impacts. He has THREE GRENADES LEFT on the bandolier.

John isn't even steering. They are just being pushed. There's
nothing he can do. They are rocketing down the broad thoroughfare
which leads directly to the MAIN BUILDING of the plant.

192A Terminator pulls himself onto the roof of the pickup.
He leaps to the bed, takes two powerful strides and --
Leaps onto the semi. He climbs rapidly onto the hood.
192B And FIRES POINT BLANK THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD.
Right into T-1000's face.
The EXPLOSION blows out all the glass and fills the cab with smoke
and fire Terminator grabs onto the air-horn as the truck starts to
SHUDDER AND
192C SCREAM. IT IS JACK-KNIFING.
Almost dream-slow the cab begins to swing sideways, until its tires
are shrieking over the pavement. The tractor is smashed back at
right-angles to the tanker-trailer which begins to slide broadside.

192D The juggernaut bucks and shudders as the tires and smoke sideways
across the pavement.
It begins to topple.
Terminator hold on as the side of cab becomes the top.
With an unholy scream, like the unoiled hubs of Hell, the whole rig
slides on its side at 60 mph toward the steel mill. A sheet of sparks
sixty feet wide trails behind it on the pavement.

192E John sees what's behind him, then snaps around to see the building
looming right in front. The huge rolling doors are partly open.
No choice.
He steers right through them into the mill, as --

192F Terminator, with one second to go, leaps from the cab --
He flies through the open doors as --
The tanker hits the building and --
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The Terminator and John engage in a high-speed chase with a liquid nitrogen tanker controlled by the T-1000. The Terminator fires M-79 grenades at the tanker, successfully destroying it and causing it to crash into a steel mill, where it explodes.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene lacks clear and concise descriptions, making it difficult to visualize the action and understand the sequence of events.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the scene, which could enhance the audience's connection to the characters and their motivations.
  • The dialogue is minimal and lacks impact, missing an opportunity to add tension and depth to the scene.
  • The action sequences are described in a rushed and disjointed manner, making it hard to follow the flow of the chase and the characters' actions.
  • The scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience in the high-stakes chase and create a more vivid and engaging experience.
Suggestions
  • Add more descriptive language to paint a clearer picture of the action and setting, enhancing the audience's understanding and engagement.
  • Develop the characters' emotions and reactions to the intense situation, adding depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Include more impactful and meaningful dialogue to convey the characters' thoughts, feelings, and motivations during the chase.
  • Slow down the pacing of the action sequences to allow for more tension and suspense to build, creating a more dynamic and engaging scene.
  • Incorporate sensory details such as sounds, smells, and physical sensations to bring the chase to life and immerse the audience in the thrilling pursuit.



Scene 36 -  Confrontation at the Steel Mill
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
193 INT. STEEL MILL/MAIN AISLE

Terminator slams to the floor of the mill and rolls, as --
The tanker-trailer smashed into a massive concrete support at one side
of the doors. Thunderous carnage of twisting metal. o
193A It splits wide open. A river of liquid nitrogen pours out at -230.

193B John hits the brakes, sliding out of control. He slows almost to a
stop but hits a steel support column head-on. He and Sarah are
slammed forward, hard.

193C Terminator, still clutching the M-79 blooper, rolls and slides across
the floor.
He smashes through a railing and slams up against the base of a
massive machine.

193D The semi cab swings about the trailer wreckage, into the building, and
shudders to a stop. Liquid nitrogen sprays over the cab, flooding out
around it in a HISSING WAVEFRONT OF ULTRACOLD.
Freezing vapor swirls everywhere, obscuring the wreck.

193E TERMINATOR lies still. A beat. Then he rolls weakly, rising on one
elbow to survey the scene.

193F IN THE WRECKED PICKUP, John stirs. He is stunned, and blood runs from
his nose. Dazed, he realizes he is in a steel mill. There are
sirens, and he can see men running... shouting. He turns and sees
what they are running from...

193G The wall of nitrogen vapor spreads from the demolished tanker. It is
a strange vista of fire and ice. The huge SMELTERS pour out orange
light and fire from the sides of the huge galley, while the freezing
vapor rolls down the center.

193H TIGHT ON THE WRECK. A billowing gray cloud. Deep inside, the shape
of the cab in visible. A FIGURE emerges, pulling itself out. It
drops to the floor. The hissing, boiling river of liquid nitrogen
flows around its feet.

194 The T-1000 staggers, moving slowly, painfully. It has finally been
affected by something. Its feet are freezing to the ground as it
walks...

194A CLINK! One of its feet breaks off at a glassy angle. It stumbles
forward, and --
194B Its other foot snaps off. As it catches its balance on the stump of
its other ankle,
194C the whole lower leg shatters at the impact. It topples forward to its
knees.
Catches itself on one hand. Liquid nitrogen flows around the hand.

Now the hand is stuck to the pavement.
194D The T-1000 pulls and... CLINK! The hand snaps off at the wrist.
It looks stupidly at the glassy stump of a wrist. For the first time
we see an expression on its face we know to be a true one...
The expression is pain. Agony. Its mouth opens in a soundless
scream as the hoar-frost races up its legs, across its body.
194E And that's the position it freezes in.
It has become a statue, kneeling in the frozen vapor, that surprised
look of agony frozen on its face.

The liquid nitrogen stops flowing and begins to evaporate.
194F Terminator, just beyond the boundary of the cold, can see the T-1000
clearly.
He draws his .45 and aims.

TERMINATOR
Hasta la vista, baby.

194G K-POW! The single shot blows the T-1000 into a million diamonds
spraying up into the air. They shimmer across the ground for twenty
feet in all directions.
Terminator lowers the gun, satisfied.
He looks like he needs a vacation.

195 JOHN AND SARAH have seen it from the pickup. She is in bad shape.
Conscious but very weak. He tries the door. It's jammed. He kicks
it open.

JOHN
Okay, Mom, we gotta get out now, come on.
That's it.

He helps her slide down from the seat of the truck. Her knees give
way. John has to take a lot of her weight. He reaches in and picks
up the riot gun off the seat. They hobble toward --

195A TERMINATOR. On his knees, he looks into the dissipating cloud of
vapor. The heat of the furnaces has evaporated all the liquid
nitrogen.

196 INSERT, TIGHT ON THE FLOOR - the T-1000 shards are melting,
liquefying. Hundreds of drops of mercury, spattered across the floor.
Orange light of the enormous black-furnaces dances on liquid metal.

197 TERMINATOR struggles to rise. One arm is shattered, the hand smashed
and useless. And some leg-servos are damaged. He can barely stand.
John and Sarah arrive.

TERMINATOR
We don't have much time.
JOHN
What?

Terminator points. John and Sarah watch as --

198 INSERT, T-1000 DROPLETS are creeping together. Fusing into larger
blobs. These pools shiver and run together, soon forming a central
mass.

199 ON JOHN AND SARAH, realizing it's not over.

JOHN
Come on! Let's go!

Terminator gets one of Sarah's arms over his shoulder and they go.
BEHIND THEM, something is moving.
200 A HEAD is forming up out of a pool mercury. it rises, as shoulders
form. hunching up from the liquid mass. Half-formed, it turns to
look straight at them.

John looks back in new terror as --

The T-1000 rises to man-height. It is still in mercury form, but its
features are forming rapidly. It takes its first step after them.
Sarah stumbles and they pull her up.
201 Terminator himself has a pronounces limp, dragging one leg with a
shattered ankle joint. John's the one pulling, straining, driving
them forward. They round a corner into --

202 INT. AISLE BETWEEN FURNACES

It is a maze of monstrous machinery. The heat is tremendous.
The air shivers with a pounding roar.
Sarah cries out in pain and stumbles again.

JOHN
Come on, Mom, you can do it! Come on!!

They drag her up, and stagger on. Her leg is bathed in blood and she
is deathly pale. He looks back.

203 INT, MAIN GALLERY

The T-1000 steps INTO FRAME. Fully formed. The hell-fire light
glints on its impassive cop face. It walks forward. At first it
seems unaffected by its crystallization but --

203A ANGLE ON ITS HAND as it touches a railing in passing. The railing is
covered with O.S.H.A. yellow-and-black safety tape.
The hand turns yellow and black, the color fading to normal by about
the elbow. It rips the hand from the railing with difficulty. There
is a sound like adhesive tape ripping off a surface.

203B The T-1000 looks at its yellow-and-black striped hand. It wills the
hand back to normal. We see ripples of "static" or system noise
moving subtly over the surface of its body. It's starting to
"glitch".
203C TRACKING WITH THE T-1000'S FEET. With each step, the pattern on the
tile floor "invades" its lower legs. Fades as the foot is lifted.
Returns as it is set down. The foot is trying to meld with the floor.
The chameleonic function is out of control.
The T-1000 is losing it. It moves forward, searching. It rounds the
corner, entering the aisle between the furnaces.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary A tanker-trailer crash releases liquid nitrogen, affecting the T-1000. The Terminator destroys it, but it regenerates. John, Sarah, and the injured Terminator attempt to escape as the T-1000 poses a threat.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Innovative use of technology
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Some reliance on action over character development
Critique
  • The scene is filled with intense action and suspense, which keeps the audience engaged.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and dangerous environment.
  • The use of liquid nitrogen as a weapon against the T-1000 adds an interesting and creative element to the scene.
  • The tension is effectively built up as the T-1000 starts to reform despite being frozen by the liquid nitrogen.
  • The physical struggles and injuries of the characters, especially Terminator and Sarah, add a sense of vulnerability and urgency to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters' reactions to the intense situation, especially Sarah and John's fear and determination.
  • Explore the internal thoughts and motivations of the characters, particularly Terminator as he faces physical damage and limitations.
  • Enhance the dialogue to convey the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation more effectively.
  • Provide more insight into the characters' relationships and dynamics during this high-stakes moment.
  • Consider adding a twist or unexpected turn of events to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.



Scene 37 -  Clash of the Titans
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
204 INT. AISLE

Terminator sees the SILHOUETTE closing on them through the smoky
gleam. The T-1000 breaks into loping run when it sees them,
Terminator turns to Sarah over John.

TERMINATOR
Keep going.

John shakes his head no. The T-1000 is almost on them.

TERMINATOR
RUN!

John runs, dragging, half-carrying Sarah as best he can.
She can barely stay conscious. Half-running, delirious, she stumbles
and drops to her knees. John pulls but she can't rise.

JOHN
(crying, shouting)
Come on, you gotta try... please, Mom. Get up!

John looks back to see --

204A TERMINATOR trying to load the M-79. With his shattered hand, he can
barely maneuver is last grenade into the breech.
T-1000 smacks the weapon out of his hands. It clatters to the floor.

The grenade spins across the floor, rolling under some machinery.
Terminator lunges, slamming the T-1000 against a wall with all his
weight. The battle is joined.

204B JOHN AND SARAH have reached the back of the aisle. It is a cul-de-
sac, blocked on the end by the base of an IMMENSE SMELTER CRUCIBLE.
They turn to watch the titans battle in silhouette, backlit by the
molten sparks falling from the furnaces above. The battle which will
decide their fate.

204C Terminator grabs the T-1000 and hurls it with awesome force against
the opposite wall of the narrow alley. In less time than it would
take to turn, the
204D T-1000 morphs trough itself, front to back... face emerging from the
back of its head.
204E It comes off the wall straight at Terminator, who smashes his good
fist into its face. The pile-driver blow buries Terminator's fist
almost to the elbow.

204F But the T-1000's head morphs in a split-second into a hand which grips
Terminator's wrist, and the head "emerges" somewhere else, the
geometry shifting faster than we can follow.
204G The T-1000 slams Terminator into a large machine, jamming his arm into
the moving works. A massive sliding bar SCISSORS HIS ARM, smashing it
into junk at the elbow, pinning him in the machine.

Terminator strains against the machine pinning him. We hear his
servos whining with overload. The T-1000 turns and lopes toward Sarah
and John.

Sarah screams and hurls John into a gap between the machines. He
falls into a maze of pipes and girders.

205 INT. MAZE OF MACHINES

JOHN turns to see her in the entrance of the narrow gap. She could
follow him but she doesn't. SUDDENLY a dark mass moves toward him.
John gasps as a huge steel counterweight, driven by a chain 6 inches
thick, slides toward him. He rolls out of the way. When he looks
back, he cannot see the opening.

JOHN
Mom! MOMMM!!

206 INT. AISLE BETWEEN FURNACES

TERMINATOR strains to reach a 6-foot steel bar lying near him. Steel
workers use them to move the red-hot ingots around. He gets hold of
the end and uses it as a lever. With titanic effort he spreads the
massive components which are holding him, and withdraws him arm, which
is severed at the elbow. Dangling junk hands from the crushed joint.

207 SARAH has lost sight of John. It is much of a goodbye as they will
have.
She turns as the T-1000 closes on her. She is half-slumped against
the sooty machines, looking barely conscious. She struggles to load
a shell into the empty weapon. At the last instant she whips up the
RIOT GUN and FIRES.

A207 T-1000's face is blown open, but quickly reforms as it closes on her.
She fumbles to get another shell into the magazine but --
A208 THUNK! A steel needle slams through her shoulder, pinning her.
The polymorphic killer cocks back its other hand. The index finger
extends as a gleaming needle, toward her eye --

T-1000
Call to John. Now.

207C WHAM!! SOMETHING whistles down on the T-1000 with such force that is
cleaves it head and body in two down to the naval. The 6-foot steel
bar is imbedded in its body. Terminator hurls the killer off Sarah.

207D The T-1000 pulls the steel shaft out of itself and attacks him with
fury.
Swinging again and again. Hammering Terminator back. Terminator
falls back against the wall.

Behind the T-1000 is an enormous I-beam, hanging from two chains. It
is used to lift ingots into the smelters, and it runs on a linear
track.
207E The T-1000 grabs the I-beam and rolls it down the track. Straight at
Terminator. The two-ton girder smashes into his chest, crushing the
armor.
The T-1000 pulls the I-beam back, and then heaves it forward again.
Terminator turns and takes the second blow on the shoulder. We hear
metal crush and break inside him. He sags, turning to grip the
wall...
The third blow slams into his back, smashing his spine and pelvis. We
hear servos ratcheting and failing. He drops to his knees, crucified
on a wall of machinery.
The fourth blow is centered between his shoulder blades. Sound of
crushing metal. His skull is partially caved in.
He slides to the floor.

207F ON THE T-1000, emotionless as it walks forward.

207G TERMINATOR is a pathetic shape on the floor. He is trying to crawl,
feebly.
Dragging his malfunctioning legs behind the crushed spine. His arm
stump screeches on the tile floor as he inches himself forward. His
exposed machine eye burns red with determination.

We see his prize. He has the M-79, with the breech still open,
cradled in the crook of his ruined arm. He good hand, the exposed
steel one, is reaching for the last grenade, which is visible under
the skirt of the massive smelter base. His metal fingers reach out
for it as --

207H The T-1000 raises the heavy steel bar over his head and stabs it down
with unbelievable force. It punches into Terminator's back, through a
gap in the shattered armor. The T-1000 levers it back and forth,
widening the hole. Then is raises the pointed bar again and slams it
down.
It punches right through. Emerging from Terminator's chest.
And into the floor. He is pinioned. The cyborg sags face down and
stop moving. The light goes out of his eye.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary In a fiery steel mill, the relentless T-1000 relentlessly pursues John and Sarah Connor, forcing the Terminator to engage in a brutal battle for survival. Despite his valiant efforts, the Terminator is outmatched and tragically falls, leaving the fate of humanity hanging in the balance.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Emotional depth
  • Character sacrifice
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched elements in the action sequences
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with high stakes and a sense of urgency that keeps the audience engaged.
  • The emotional turmoil of the characters, especially John and Sarah, is effectively portrayed through their actions and dialogue.
  • The physical struggle between Terminator and the T-1000 is well-described, showcasing the relentless nature of both characters.
  • The visual elements, such as the setting in the steel mill and the use of machinery as weapons, add to the tension and drama of the scene.
  • The climax of the scene, with Terminator being overpowered and ultimately defeated by the T-1000, creates a sense of tragedy and sacrifice.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Terminator to humanize his character further and increase the emotional impact of his defeat.
  • Explore the possibility of Sarah or John taking more proactive roles in the fight against the T-1000 to showcase their growth and development throughout the story.
  • Enhance the descriptions of the physical struggle between Terminator and the T-1000 to make the action sequences more vivid and engaging for the reader.
  • Add more sensory details to immerse the reader in the scene, such as the sounds of machinery, the smell of metal, and the heat of the steel mill.
  • Consider incorporating a moment of reflection or resolution for the characters after the intense battle to provide closure and set up the next part of the story.



Scene 38 -  Terminator Defeated
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
208 INT. MAZE OF MACHINERY

John scuttles like a rat through the gut of the smelter. Above him,
vast machines churn untended. He hears a voice... SARAH'S
Calling low and urgent to him.

SARAH
John? John? Can you hear me? Where are you?

208A He crawls out of the shadows.
Onto a landing next to one of the SMELTER CRUCIBLES. Molten steel
glows bright orange in the crucible of the furnace. Heat shimmers
the air, giving everything a hallucinatory quality.

John sees Sarah nearby, limping toward him. She can barely move, her
leg bathed in blood. He runs toward her.
SARAH
(gasping)
Help me, honey...

TIGHT ON SARAH, her stoic face, as she hobbles forward, reaching out
to him. Something rises behind her, OUT OF FOCUS.

209 ANOTHER, IDENTICAL, SARAH... but this one has a shotgun.
Aimed right at us.

209A JOHN freezes. Which is which? He looks down. The first Sarah's
feet are melded with the floor, sucking and fusing with the tiles as
she walks. They have the color and pattern of the tiles up to the
knee.

SARAH
John, get out of the way!!

JOHN
(screaming)
SHOOT!!!!

209B John dives aside. The Sarah-form spins, changing into you-know-who.
Sarah starts unloading the shotgun into it. BOOM! It staggers back.
K-CHAK. She chambers another round. BOOM! It staggers again.
K-CHAK. BOOM! And again. And again.

209C The T-1000 is blown back a step and Sarah advances with each shot.
The craters in the T-1000's body "heal" slowly. Its power is waning.
She FIRES again. And again. Her eyes blazing with feral intensity.
She walks it back, right to the edge of the pit of MOLTEN STEEL.

K-CHAK... CLICK. She's empty. The T-1000 is right at the edge. In a
second it will recover its composure, as its crater hits close slowly.
She has failed. Now it will kill them both,
Except...

210 CLOSEUP TERMINATOR, as the chain drive brings it into view.
Half human flesh, half chrome steel.
His red eye gazes right at us as he --
FIRES.

210A The T-1000 takes the round in the belly. The grenade EXPLODES inside
its body. A huge hole is blown clean through it, and it is ripped
open and peeled back, half inside-out. It topples into the molten
steel and --

211 The T-1000's head and upper body reappear above the molten steel.
It is screaming. A terrifying, inhuman siren of a scream.
It is changing, morphing, transforming into anything and everything
it's ever been so rapidly the eye can barely follow it --
We catch a glimpse of Janelle Voight checkered with the linoleum tile
colors, Lewis the Guard with knives exploding from his face, other
faces, switching at a stroboscopic rate now... a face every two frames
until they merge into one face --
The T-1000 screams and slips beneath the surface of the molten steel.
We see liquid silver running in dissipating whorls over the
superheated surface... until it vanishes, swirling into nothing.

212 JOHN runs to Sarah. She stands staring into the pit. The empty
shotgun slips from her fingers. Clatters to the floor. He sees that
she's okay and he runs to the fallen Terminator.

212A The crippled cyborg is trying to rise. Its servos whine and stutter.
It pathetically lifts itself to a kneeling position, collapses...
tries again.
John lifts for all he's worth. Sarah joins them, helping.
The help the crippled machine get on its feet. It can barely stand.

TERMINATOR
I need a vacation.

They walk to the edge of the pit. Terminator looks down and sees
that it is over.

JOHN
(to Terminator)
Is it dead?

TERMINATOR
Terminated.

John unzips Sarah's backpack and takes out the hand of the first
terminator.

JOHN
Will it melt in there?

TERMINATOR
Yes. Throw it in.

He does. It sinks into the lava. Vanishes.

TERMINATOR
And the chip.

John takes it out of his pocket. Looks at it. Tosses it into the
smelter.

SARAH
It's finally over.

TERMINATOR
No. There is another chip.

He touches a metal finger to the side of his head.

TERMINATOR
And it must be destroyed also.

John suddenly understands what he means.
Terminator looks at Sarah. They both know what must be done.
John shakes his head.
JOHN
No!

TERMINATOR
I'm sorry, John.

JOHN
No, no no!! It'll be okay. Stay with us!

TERMINATOR
I have to go away, John.

JOHN
Don't do it. Please... don't go --

Tears are streaming down his face.

TIGHT CLOSEUP TERMINATOR, turning toward John.
The human side of his face is in shadow, so we see mostly the chrome
skull and the red eye.

TERMINATOR
It must end here... or I am the future.

JOHN
I order you not to!

Terminator puts his hand on John's shoulder. He moves slightly and
the human side of his face comes into the light.
He reaches toward John's face. His metal finger touches the tear
trickling down his cheek.

TERMINATOR
I know now why you cry. But it is something I
can never do.
(to both of them)
Goodbye.

Sarah looks at Terminator. Reaches out her hand to shake it.
They lock eyes. Warriors. Comrades.

SARAH
Are you afraid?

TERMINATOR
Yes.

He turns and steps off the edge.
213 They watch him sink into the lava.
He disappears... the metal hand sinking last... at the last second it
forms into a fist with the thumb extended... a final thumbs up.
Then it is gone.

214 HOLD ON JOHN AND SARAH, watching through the heat ripples as we --

DISSOLVE TO:
215 THE SUN, PURE IN A CLOUDLESS SKY

Tilting down reveal that we are in a park, very green. People are
casually dressed, having fun. Cycling, reading... children are
playing in a playground.

Beyond the line of tree we see the skyline of Washington, D.C., with
the Capital Building and the Washington Monument. The skyline is
subtly changed, with a lot of new buildings, advanced high-rises.
A CARD APPEARS

July 11, 2029

WE BOOM DOWN AND TRACK LATERALLY through a playground in the
foreground. Children swinging on swings. Sliding down slides.
Timeless things that 4 decades of technical advancement will not
change. As we track we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
August 29th 1997 came and went. Nothing much
happened. Michael Jackson turned forty. There
was no Judgment Day. People went to work as
they always do, laughed, complained, watched
TV, made love.

We pass a jungle gym, neither melted nor burned, but full of kids
swinging and yelling raucously. Past it we drop down to see a boy
pumping the pedals of a tricycle.

SARAH (V.O.)
I wanted to run down the street yelling... to
grab them all and say "Every day form this day
is a gift. Use it well!" Instead I got drunk.

STILL TRACKING we come to rest on an elderly woman seated on a bench.
It is SARAH, now 64 years old. The world has aged her, but she seems
at peace in this moment. She speaks into a microcassette recorder.

SARAH (V.O.)
That was thirty years ago. But the dark future
which never came still exists for me, and it
always will, like the traces of a dream lingering
in the morning light. And the war against the
machines goes on. Or, to be more precise, the
war against those who build the wrong machines.

There is a man in is forties playing with two small children
nearby. He turns. It is John Connor. Through he has the same stern
features in adulthood, there is no eye-patch, no scarring. He is far
from the haggard man on grim destiny we saw in the world that might
have been. But there is still penetrating intelligence, even wisdom,
in his eyes.

SARAH (V.O.)
John fights the war differently than it was
foretold. Here, on the battlefield of the
Senate, the weapons are common sense... and
hope.
A FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL runs to her to have her shoelace tied.

GIRL
Tie me, grandma.

Grandma Sarah smiles. It is the only time we have seen her smile so
far. She bends as the little girls puts her foot up on the bench.
She ties as we hear:

SARAH (V.O.)
The luxury of hope was given to me by the
Terminator. Because if a machine can learn
the value of human life... maybe we can too.

Sarah ruffles the kids's hair as she runs off to play with her dad.

FADE OUT
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary John and Sarah Connor, aided by the Terminator, confront the relentless T-1000 in a smelter's molten steel. Through a combined attack, they manage to destroy the T-1000 and prevent Judgment Day. Years later, John fights against dangerous machines in the Senate, while Sarah reflects on the value of human life and the sacrifices made.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Satisfying resolution
  • Impactful sacrifice
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a lot of physical and emotional turmoil for the characters involved.
  • The tension and suspense are well-maintained throughout the scene, keeping the audience engaged.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and dangerous environment in the steel mill.
  • The emotional moments between the characters, especially the Terminator's sacrifice, are impactful and resonate with the audience.
  • The dialogue is minimal but effective, conveying the urgency and emotions of the characters in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reflections from the characters to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Explore the aftermath of the Terminator's sacrifice and how it affects John and Sarah emotionally.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000 and its capabilities to enhance the understanding of the threat it poses.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment of the steel mill and enhance the tension of the scene.
  • Focus on the character development and growth, especially in relation to the themes of sacrifice, redemption, and the value of human life.