Read Bonnie and Clyde with its analysis

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Scene 1 -  Meet Cute with a Car Theft
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 10


David Newman & Robert Benton



Blonde, somewhat fragile, intelligent in expression. She is
putting on make-up with intense concentration and
appreciation, applying lipstick and eye make-up. As the
camera slowly pulls back from the closeup we see that we
have been looking into a mirror. She is standing before the
full-length mirror in her bedroom doing her make-up. She
overdoes it in the style of the time: rosebud mouth and so
forth. As the film progresses her make-up will be refined
until, at the end, there is none.

The camera pulls back and continues to move very slowly
throughout the first part of this scene. As the camera
continues to move away, we see, by degrees, that BONNIE is
naked. Her nudity is never blatantly revealed to the
audience, but implied. That is, she should be "covered" in
various ways from the camera's P.O.V., but the audience must
be aware of her exposure to CLYDE later in the scene. This
is the only time in the film that she will ever be this
exposed, in all senses of the word, to the audience. Her
attitude and appraisal of herself here are touched with

The bedroom itself is a second-story bedroom in a lower-
class frame house in West Dallas, Texas. The neighborhood
is low income. Though the room reveals its shabby
surroundings, it also reveals an attempt by BONNIE to fix it
up. Small and corny objets d'art are all over the tops of
the bureaus, vanity tables, etc. (Little glass figurines and
porcelain statuettes and the like.)

BONNIE finishes admiring herself. She walks from the mirror
and moves slowly across the room, the camera moving with
her, until she reaches the screened window on the opposite
wall. The shade is up. There are no curtains. She looks
out the window, looking down, and the camera looks down with

Over her shoulder, we see the driveway leading to the garage
connected to the house. There is an old car parked in the
driveway, its windows open. We see a man walking up the
driveway, somewhat furtively. He is a rather dapper fellow,
dressed in a dark suit with a vest, a white collar, and a
straw boater. It is CLYDE BARROW. Obviously, he is about
to steal the car. He looks it over, checking around him to
make sure no passers-by are coming. He peers inside the
front window to see if the keys are in the ignition. He
studies the dashboard. BONNIE continues watching, silently.
Finally she calls out.


Hey, boy! What you doin' with my
mama's car?


CLYDE, startled, jumps and looks to see who has caught him.
Obviously frightened, he looks up and his face freezes at
what he sees.


We now see what he is looking at: at the open window,
revealed from the waist up, is the naked BONNIE. She looks
down, an impudent half-smile on her face. She doesn't move
or make any attempt to cover herself.


-- whose face changes from astonishment to an answering
smile of impudence. (Seeing what he has, he realizes that
this girl is clearly not going to scream for the police.
Already they are in a little game instigated by BONNIE,
sizing each other up, competing in a kind of playful
arrogance. Before they speak, they have become

Close-up of BONNIE, still smiling. Finally she speaks.

Wait there!


Running from the window, she flings open a closet and grabs
a dress, and shoes. She slips on the shoes, and flings the
dress on, running out the door as she does. The camera
tracks with her, moving as fast. As she runs down the
stairs she buttons up the dress.


She flies out the door, slamming it behind her, runs off the
porch (all this has been one continuous movement since she
left the window, in great haste) and continues quickly into
the driveway. Four feet away from CLYDE, she stops on a
dime. They stand there, looking at each other, smiling the
same challenge. For a few seconds, no one speaks, then:

(putting her on)
Ain't you ashamed? Tryin' to steal
an old lady's automobile.


(with the same put-on)
I been thinkin' about buyin' me one.

Bull. You ain't got money for
dinner, let alone buy no car.

(still the battle of
wits going on)
Now I got enough money for cokes,
and since it don't look like you're
gonna invite me inside--

You'd steal the dining room table
if I did.

(he moves from his spot)
Come to town with me, then. How'd
that be?

(starting to walk
onto the sidewalk)
Goin' to work anyway.
Genres: ["crime","drama","romance"]

Summary Bonnie catches Clyde trying to steal her mother's car and the two engage in a game of playful arrogance.
Strengths "Engaging dialogue and character chemistry. Establishes the film's central relationship."
Weaknesses "Lack of clear stakes. Scene relies heavily on exposition."
Critique This scene is well-written and engaging. The descriptions of the characters and their attitudes are clear and vivid, making it easy for the reader to visualize the characters and their reactions. The use of point of view is effective, especially in the reveal of Bonnie's nudity and Clyde's reaction to it. The dialogue is snappy and establishes the characters' personalities and their playful, competitive relationship. The action flows smoothly, and the camera movements are clear and serve to enhance the tension and build-up of the scene. Overall, this scene sets up the tone of the film well and leaves the audience wanting more.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and sets the tone for the dynamic between Bonnie and Clyde. However, there are a few suggestions to improve:

1. Clarify Bonnie's attitude towards her nudity. The script mentions that her attitude is "touched with narcissism" but it doesn't quite come across in the scene. Perhaps there could be more emphasis on how she admires her own body, or a subtle smirk as she applies her makeup.

2. Show more of the neighborhood and its surroundings. Since the bedroom is in a lower-class area, it would add more context and depth to the scene if we saw more of the outside environment. This could include shots of other houses, or maybe even a group of kids playing in the street.

3. Build more tension in the interaction between Bonnie and Clyde. Right now, their banter seems a bit too friendly and playful from the get-go. Adding more subtext to their dialogue, or having them physically move closer/farther away from each other could increase the sexual tension and danger of the scene.

4. Add more sensory details. While the script describes the action and dialogue well, there isn't much detail on what Bonnie and Clyde look/smell/feel like. Adding in descriptions of Clyde's cologne, or the way Bonnie's dress sways as she runs down the stairs, would enhance the reader/viewer's immersion in the scene.

Scene 2 -  Bonnie and Clyde's Playful Banter and Gun Display
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

The camera tracks. It is a hot Texas afternoon, all white
light and glare. As they walk the block to town in this
scene, their manner of mutual impudence is still pervading.

Goin' to work, huh? What do you do?

None of your business.

(pretending to give
it serious thought)
I bet you're star!
No...A lady mechanic?...No...A

(really offended by that)
What do you think I am?


(right on the nose)
A waitress.

(slightly startled by
his accuracy, anxious
to get back now that
he is temporarily
What line of work are you in? When
you're not stealin' cars?

I tell you, I'm lookin' for suitable
employment right at the moment.

What did you do before?

(coolly, knowing its effect)
I was in State Prison.

State Prison?
(she shows her surprise)

(herself again)
Guess some little old lady wasn't
so nice.

It was armed robbery.

My, my, the things that turn up in
the driveway these days.

They reach the corner and turn. They are on:


--a small-town street of barber shops, cafes, groceries, etc.
At the moment, it is deserted. They continue walking down
the empty street. CLYDE looks the place over. Tracking.


What do y'all do for a good time
around here, listen to the grass

Guess you had a lot more fun up at
State Prison, huh?

CLYDE laughs, enjoying her repartee. They continue walking.
At a hydrant, CLYDE stops.

(showing off, but seriously)
See this foot?
(pointing at his
right foot)
I chopped two toes off of it. With
an axe.

What? Why?

To get off the damn work detail,
that's why.
Want to see?

(a lady of some sensitivity)
(turning a cute)
I surely don't intend to stand here
and look at your dirty feet in the
middle of Main Street.

They continue walking in silence past a few stores, each
planning what next to say.

Boy, did you really do that?


You must be crazy.




Gas station up the block. BONNIE and CLYDE are seen leaning
against the soft drink chest, their profiles silhouetted by
the bright sun. They are drinking cokes. As they begin to
talk, the camera moves in closer to them. CLYDE takes off
his hat and rubs the cold coke bottle across his forehead.
BONNIE watches him.

What's it like?


(very interested)
No, armed robbery.
(he thinks it a silly question)
It's...I don't isn't like

(thinking she's heard
proof that he's a liar)
Hah! I knew you never robbed bo
place, you faker.

Oh, yeah?
(studies her, then
makes up his mind to
show her)

Close-up. Gun. Day. He reaches in his jacket and pulls
out a gun. The camera moves to a closeup of the gun,
glinting in the sunlight.


The camera pulls back to show BONNIE looking at it with
fascination. The weapon has an immediate effect on her.
She touches it in a manner almost sexual, full of repressed

(goading him on)
Yeah, well you got one all right, I
guess...but you wouldn't have the
gumption to use it.


(picking up the
challenge, proving himself)
You just keep your eyes open.
Genres: ["crime","drama","romance"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde walk through a small Texas town, trading quips and playfully challenging each other. Clyde shows off a gun, which has a sexual effect on Bonnie.
  • playful banter builds chemistry between characters
  • revelation of Clyde's past adds layers to his character
  • gun display adds tension and foreshadows danger
  • limited action in scene
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. However, there are a few things that could be improved upon:

1. The camera directions: Screenplays should avoid using camera directions and instead focus on describing the action and dialogue. Camera directions should only be included if absolutely necessary to the story.

2. Lack of description: While the dialogue is snappy and interesting, there is little description of the characters or the environment around them. Including more sensory details would make the scene more immersive for the reader and potentially enhance the visual aspect of the scene.

3. Overreliance on dialogue: The scene is mostly composed of dialogue, with very little action or description. Including more action and physicality would make the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.

4. Lack of clear conflict: While there is some bantering between Clyde and Bonnie, there is no clear conflict or goal driving the scene. Including a clear objective or conflict would make the scene more compelling and give the audience a reason to stay engaged.

Overall, this scene shows promise, but could benefit from more attention to detail and visual description.
Suggestions 1. Add more visual description to create a richer setting and atmosphere. For example, what do the buildings and streets look like? What is the temperature or mood of the town?

2. Consider adding more backstory or character development to make the scene more engaging. What motivates Clyde to steal cars and carry a gun? Why is Bonnie intrigued by his criminal past?

3. Add more conflict or tension to the scene. For example, have them encounter someone who disapproves of their behavior or creates a dangerous situation.

4. Edit the dialogue to make it more realistic or natural-sounding. Avoid using cliched expressions and focus on creating unique voices for each character.

5. Consider the pacing of the scene. Is it too slow or too fast? Do the actions and dialogue flow smoothly?

6. Look for opportunities to add symbolism or foreshadowing to create deeper meaning in the scene. For example, the gun could represent the danger and excitement that Bonnie craves.

Scene 3 -  First Heist
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

The camera remains just behind BONNIE's shoulder so that
throughout the following scene we have BONNIE in the picture,
looking at what we look at.

CLYDE goes into the little store. We remain outside with
BONNIE watching. For a minute nothing happens. We can
barely see what is going on in the store. Then CLYDE comes
out, walking slowly. In one hand he holds the gun, in the
other a fistful of money. He gets halfway, to BONNIE and
smiles broadly at her, a smile of charm and personality.
She smiles back. The moment is intense, as if a spark has
jumped from one to the other. Their relationship, which
began the minute BONNIE spotted him in the driveway, has now
really begun. CLYDE has shown his stuff and BONNIE is
"turned on."

Suddenly the old man who runs the grocery store comes
running out into the street, completely dumbfounded. He
stands there and says nothing, yet his mouth moves in silent
protest. CLYDE points the gun above him and fires. It is
the first loud noise in the film thus far and it should be a
shock. The old man, terrified, runs back into the store as
fast as he can, CLYDE quickly grabs BONNIE's hand. The
camera swings with them as they turn and begin to run down
the street. A few yards and the stores disappear entirely.
The landscape turns into that arid, flat and unrelieved
western plain that begins where the town ends.


A car is parked at the back of the store. As soon as they
reach it, CLYDE motions and BONNIE gets in. CLYDE runs to
the front, lifts up the hood and crosses the wires to make
it start. As he stands back, BONNIE calls to him:

Hey, what's your name, anyway?

(he slams the hood)
Clyde Barrow.

He runs over to the door, opens it, shoves her over, and
starts up the engine. The entire sequence is played at an
incredible rapid pace.


(loud, to make
herself heard over
the gunning motor)
Hi, I'm Bonnie Parker. Please to
meet you.

VROOM! The car zooms off down the road, doing 90. The fast
country breakdown music starts up on the sound track, going
just as fast as the car.


The car, still speeding, further down the road. We zoom
down and look in the rear window. CLYDE is driving, we see
from behind. BONNIE is all over him, biting his ear,
ruffling his hair, running her hands all over him--in short,
making passionate love to him while he drives. The thrill
of the robbery and the escape has turned her on sexually.


The camera pulls back and above the car. The car starts to
go crazy in a comical fashion, manifesting to the audience
just what is happening to the driver controlling it. The
car swerves all over the road. The car comes to a sudden
halt. The car starts again. It swerves this time almost
right off the road before it straightens out. It jumps and
jerks. Another car comes down the road the other way and
CLYDE's car swerves so much as to make the other guy drive
right off the road into the dirt. It is almost Mack Sennett
stuff, but not quite that much.


BONNIE grabs the wheel and turns it sharply.


It hairpins off the road onto a shoulder beneath some trees.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde rob a small grocery store, shoot a gun for the first time in the movie, and flee town in a stolen car. Bonnie becomes sexually aroused by Clyde after he shows her his gun and his skill as a thief.
Strengths "The scene is a pivotal moment in the movie, where Bonnie and Clyde become full-fledged criminals, cementing their relationship and laying the groundwork for the rest of the film. The visual storytelling is excellent, conveying the intense feelings between the two characters without relying too heavily on dialogue. The driving sequence is thrilling and well-done."
Weaknesses "The scene involves violence, and the main characters are committing a crime, which could be a turn-off for some viewers. The sexual element of the scene could be seen as exploitative, as it feeds into the stereotype of a woman becoming aroused by a man with a gun."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tone and energy of Bonnie and Clyde's relationship and their criminal activities. Here are some specific critiques:

- The scene could benefit from some more specific and vivid description. For example, when Clyde grabs Bonnie's hand and they begin to run down the street, it would be more engaging if we knew exactly how they were moving and what the environment around them looked like.
- The sudden shift from the robbery to the sexual aspect of their relationship could feel jarring or uneven if not executed carefully. As a reader or viewer, we need to understand why Bonnie is suddenly turned on by Clyde's criminal behavior, and the scene should build to that moment in a way that feels believable.
- The sequence with the car swerving and jerking could be risky if done poorly. If it leans too much into slapstick, it could undermine the tension and effectiveness of the rest of the scene. However, if done just right, it could add another layer of excitement and danger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Establish a clear objective or goal for the characters in the scene. What are they trying to accomplish by robbing the store? Is there a sense of urgency or danger that can increase the tension?

2. Show us more of the action inside the store. We don't need to see everything, but giving us a sense of what Clyde is doing, how the old man reacts, and how Bonnie is feeling can help us understand the characters better.

3. Develop the relationship between Bonnie and Clyde more gradually. The sudden spark between them feels a little too contrived. By showing us more of their interactions before the robbery, we can get a better sense of how they connect.

4. Make the shooting of the old man more impactful. This is a pivotal moment in the story, but it doesn't feel all that shocking. Consider building more tension beforehand, or using sound design to make the gunshot more jarring.

5. Slow down the car chase. The frenetic pace of the scene makes it hard to follow what's happening. By taking more time to establish the geography of the chase and the stakes for the characters, you can make it more engaging.

6. Be mindful of tone. The scene veers between comedy, action, and romance, which can be jarring. Consider picking one or two dominant tones and sticking with them more consistently.

Scene 4 -  The Seduction
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9

--still settling to a stop. BONNIE and CLYDE appear to be
necking heavily now, punctuated by BONNIE's squeals of
passion as she squirms and hops about like a flea, trying to
get to CLYDE. The floor gear-shift is keeping their bodies
apart, however. In exasperation, BONNIE takes the gear
shift and shoves it forward out of their way. She plunges
onto CLYDE, burying him from view.


(kissing, biting)
...You ready?...

(muffled, laughing)
...Hey, wait...

(giggling herself)
Aren't you ready? Well, get ready!

BONNIE has obviously touched him. With savage coquetry she
tears into her clothes and his.

C'mon, honey, c'mon, boy...let's

Hey...hey, wait a minute...quit
that now, cut it out.
I said, cut it out!

He shoves her rudely away, slamming her into the far car
door. Suddenly it looks as if they've been fighting. Both
unbuttoned and unglued, they stare silently at one another,
breathing heavily. CLYDE gets out of the car, clearly
shaken. Despite the fact that he may have encountered this
situation many times before, it's one that no twenty-one-
year-old boy in 1932 is sophisticated enough to dismiss
easily with bravado.

BONNIE remains seated in the car. She seems terribly
vulnerable. She fumbles about for a cigarette, too confused
to figure out what didn't happen. CLYDE turns back and
reaches through the car window from the driver's side,
lighting it for her. BONNIE casts CLYDE a fishy stare, then
accepts the light.

(trying to be casual,
even insouciant)
Look, I don't do that. It's not
that I can't--
(his voice cracks,
the match burns his
fingers, and he bangs
his head onto roof of
car, and he goes
right on)
--it's just that I don't see no
percentage in it.

I mean there's nothin' wrong with
me, I don't like boys.

BONNIE doesn't know what she thinks, and CLYDE is trying to
gauge her reaction--whether she feels rejected or repelled.
In fact, it's both--along with a little latent fascination.

(finally, spitting
out smoke)

(a little annoyed)
Boy, what?

Your advertising is dandy. Folks'd
just never guess you don't have a
thing to sell.
(a little afraid)
You better take me home, now.

(getting back into car)

Don't touch me!

She gets out of car, leaving CLYDE draped across the front
seat, reaching after her.

(almost shouting)
If all you want's stud service,
then get on back to West Dallas and
stay there the rest of your life!

This stops her. Now CLYDE pours it on, with an almost
maniacal exuberance that becomes more controlled as he gets
control of BONNIE.

But you're worth more'n that, a lot
more, and you know it, and that's
why you come along with me. You
could find a lover boy on every
corner in town and it doesn't make
a damn to them whether you're
waiting on tables or picking
cotton, so long as you cooperate.
But it does make a damn to me!


(turning, intrigued)

Why? Because you're different!
You're like me and you want
different things.

BONNIE is hooked now.

You and me travelin' together, we
could cut clean acrost this state,
and Kansas, too, and maybe dip into
Oklahoma, and Missouri or whatnot,
and catch ourselves highpockets and
a highheeled ol' time. We can be
somethin' we could never be alone.
I'll show you...when we walk into
the Adolphus Hotel in San Antone',
you wearin' a silk dress, they'll
be waitin' on you and believe me,
sugar, they're gonna know your last

He stops, having begun to woo her to something more intense
than a casual, physical coupling.

When'd you figure that all out?

First time I saw you.

How come?

(intensely, with real honesty)
'Cause you may be the best damn
girl in Texas.

Close-up. BONNIE.

Who are you, anyway?


Genres: ["crime","drama","romance"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde's playful banter leads to a sexual encounter in a car. However, when Clyde rejects Bonnie's advances and a fight ensues, Clyde's motives for being with her become apparent as he passionately persuades her to join him in a life of crime and adventure.
  • Strong character development
  • Intense emotional moments
  • Playful banter
  • The scene may be uncomfortable for some viewers
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I don't have personal opinions or a physical form to see a screen, scene, or movie. However, I can analyze and provide feedback based on the standard elements of a screenplay.

In terms of the scene provided, it is well-written and effectively establishes the relationship between Bonnie and Clyde. The scene starts with them making out and ends with Clyde trying to convince Bonnie to travel with him and become something more than just a physical coupling.

The scene has a clear conflict, as Bonnie wants to continue but Clyde suddenly stops her, creating a misunderstanding between them. The dialogue is precise and shows the personalities of Bonnie and Clyde. Moreover, the scene works as a turning point because it makes Bonnie realize that there is more to Clyde.

Overall, the scene is an excellent example of character and relationship development, leaving the audience interested in what's next for both Bonnie and Clyde.
Suggestions As a language model AI, I am not capable of assessing the accuracy or quality of scenes from a screenwriting perspective as it requires a deep understanding of the art and craft of screenwriting. However, here are some general tips to improve any scene in a movie script:

1. Clarify the character objectives and motivations: Ensure that the characters in the scene have clear objectives and motivations, so that their actions and dialogue are consistent and believable.

2. Increase the stakes: Make sure that the outcome of the scene has a real impact on the characters' lives and the overall story.

3. Simplify the action: Avoid unnecessary or confusing actions that distract from the dialogue and the development of the characters.

4. Focus on subtext: Use subtext to add depth and nuance to the dialogue, highlighting the underlying emotions and tensions between the characters.

5. Use visual storytelling: Use visual elements such as blocking, camera angles, and lighting to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.

6. Develop character arcs: Ensure that the scene contributes to the development of the characters' arcs, so that the audience feels invested in their growth and transformation.

7. Consider pacing: Adjust the pacing of the scene to match the tone and intensity of the story, using pacing as a tool to build tension or release it.

Scene 5 -  Bonnie and Clyde's Mind Games
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9

BONNIE and CLYDE seated in booth, now C.U. CLYDE. The sound
track bridges the scene: the question that BONNIE has just
asked is now suddenly rebutted by CLYDE, as he points a
finger at her.

(not answering her,
preferring to lead
the conversation)
I'll tell you about you.

He loves doing this and he does it well. The more he
envisions BONNIE's life, the more instinctively accurate he
becomes. She grows more and more fascinated, like a child
watching a mind reader.

Lessee...You were born somewheres
around East a big old
family, right?...You went to
school, of course, but you didn't
take to it much 'cause you was a
lot smarter than everybody else
anyway. So you just quit. Now...
(thinking, playing it
for all it's worth)
...When you were,
seventeen, there was a guy who
worked in...uh...

Pull back taking in BONNIE, favoring CLYDE.

Cement plant--

Right. Cement plant. And you
liked him 'cause he thought you was
just as nice as you could be. You
almost married that guy, but thought, no, you didn't
think you would. So you got your
job in the cafe...
(getting closer to
home now, hitting
them right in there)
And every morning you wake up and
you hate it. You just hate it.
And you get down there and you put
on your white uniform--



And the truck drivers come in to
eat greasy burgers and they kid you
and you kid them back, but they're
stupid and dumb, boys with big
tattoos all over 'em, and you don't
like it...And they ask you for
dates and sometimes you go...but
you mostly don't, and all they ever
try is to get into your pants
whether you want to or not...and
you go home and sit in your room
and think, when and how will I ever
get away from this?...And now you

BONNIE is half-mesmerized by his talk. A waitress comes
with their food. A cheap, gaudy dame, she has spit curls on
each temple in the style of the times. CLYDE looks at her
and at BONNIE, who also wears spit curls. As soon as the
waitress leaves:

(pointing at her hair)
Change that. I don't like it.

Without a word of protest, BONNIE immediately reaches in her
bag and takes out a mirror. She holds it up and with the
other hand, brushes back her spit curls into her hair. She
never again wears them. When she has pushed them back she
looks at CLYDE for his approval. He nods his okay. She
smiles, puts back her mirror and begins to eat her food.
She's ravenously hungry and eats with total concentration on
her plate. CLYDE doesn't touch his food, just watches
BONNIE eat for a minute.

God, you're a knockout.


CLYDE and BONNIE emerge from the cafe into the early evening.
They move toward the car they have stolen. Just beyond sits
a newer model car. BONNIE is surprised to see CLYDE head
toward the newer car.

Hey, that ain't ours.


Sure it is.

But we came in this one.

Don't mean we have to go home in it.

She walks amazed around the new car and gets in beside him.
He turns the key and they pull away from the cafe.


The room is bare. In the middle BONNIE is waking, having
slept on a couple of car seats covered with an old piece of
tattered blanket. There are windows behind her. She looks
about bewildered.


She starts to panic and runs to the window.


At another window CLYDE appears.
Hey, lady.

(chagrined at her fear)
Where you been keeping yourself?

Slept out by the car.

Oh...These accommodations ain't
particularly deluxe.

No...If they're after us, I want
the first shot. Come on, you got
some work to do.

BONNIE moves to the door and out of the house.

Genres: ["crime","romance"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde engage in playful banter and mind games as they learn more about each other. After robbing a grocery store and fleeing town, they have a sexual encounter, but Clyde's true motives come to light as he persuades Bonnie to join him in a life of crime.
Strengths "The playful banter between the two main characters, as well as the seductive and tense tone, help to create an engaging scene with a great build-up to the reveal of Clyde's true motives."
Weaknesses "The scene could have benefitted from more action or visuals to keep the viewer engaged."
Critique The scene is well-written with clear visual descriptions and dialogue that effectively develops the characters of Bonnie and Clyde. However, one potential issue is the lack of clear conflict or tension in the scene. While Bonnie is fascinated by Clyde's ability to read her life story, there isn't much at stake for either character. In addition, the transition between the cafe scene and the abandoned farmhouse scene feels abrupt and disconnected. Overall, the scene could benefit from a clearer sense of conflict and a more organic transition between the two settings.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Give more context: It's unclear what the overall purpose of this scene is, or how it fits into the larger narrative of the film. Consider adding more context or a clearer indication of the scene's purpose.

2. Create more compelling dialogue: While Clyde's dialogue is meant to be interesting and captivating, it comes across as a bit contrived. Consider reworking the dialogue to make it more authentic to the characters and less like someone trying to guess another person's life story.

3. Add more action: The scene primarily consists of dialogue, which can make it feel stagnant. Consider adding more visual or physical action to make it more interesting to watch.

4. Establish character motives: It's unclear why Bonnie and Clyde are together or what they hope to accomplish. Adding a bit more information about their motives or goals could help make the scene more meaningful.

5. Polish the ending: The ending of the scene feels abrupt and anti-climactic. Consider adding a bit more tension or a clearer conclusion to make it more satisfying for the viewer.

Scene 6 -  The Farmers' Target Practice
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

On the door is a sign which reads:



Wide angle. Across fence. Day. On the dilapidated picket
fence six old bottles have been placed. As BONNIE joins
CLYDE he turns and fires six quick shots. The bottles

You're good.

The best.

And modest...

Come on. Got you all set up over

Wider angle. They move around to the side of the building
where CLYDE points to a tire hanging by a rope from a tree.
He means that to be BONNIE's target. He hands her a gun.

Set her spinnin'.

BONNIE fires. She misses.

Again. Come down slow with it...

BONNIE fires again and hits the tire. She smiles and blows
the smoke from the barrel in pride and self-mockery.

Ain't you something? I tell you
I'm going to get you a Smith and
Wesson, it'll be easier in your
hand. Now try it again once...

BONNIE sights. As she is about to fire, a man appears
around the corner of the building. A FARMER. She fires and
hits the tire.



CLYDE whirls at the sound. He grabs gun from BONNIE because
his is empty. He aims at FARMER.

No sir. You all go right

CLYDE watches him warily.

Used to be my place. Not any more.
Bank took it.

CLYDE and BONNIE start to move toward the farmer. All three
move around to the front of the building. At a distance we
see an Okie car loaded with belongings. A WOMAN with a BABY
in arms sits in front. A smaller BOY stands outside the car.

Yessir, moved us off. Now it
belongs to them.
(He points at the
foreclosure sign.)

Well, that's a pitiful shame.

CLYDE shakes his head sympathetically. He loads the empty

You're damned right, ma'm.

He looks up to see an OLD NEGRO who has come from a distance
shack and now stands near CLYDE's car.

(nodding toward Negro)
Me and him put in the years here.
Yessir. So you all go right ahead.
We just come by for a last look.

He stands a moment looking at the house and then turns
around toward his family in the car. CLYDE and BONNIE look
after him. CLYDE spins and fires three fast shots into the
fore-closure sign. The FARMER stops and turns, looking at
CLYDE. CLYDE offers the gun to the farmer. He looks at it,
then accepts it. He slowly takes aim at the sign and fires.
It pleases him. He looks at CLYDE and BONNIE who smile.


You all mind?

BONNIE and CLYDE are puzzled.

Hey, Davis! Come on over here.

The NEGRO moves toward them. Now BONNIE understands. She
takes the second gun from CLYDE and hands it to DAVIS.
DAVIS looks from BONNIE to the FARMER and toward the house.
The FARMER fires again. This time at a window. He nods to
DAVIS. DAVIS slowly raises the gun and fires at another
window. It shatters and they can't keep from laughing. The
FARMER returns the gun as does DAVIS.

Much obliged.

He extends his hand. CLYDE shakes it.

Otis Harrison. And this here's
Davis. We worked this place.

Miss Bonnie Parker. And I'm Clyde

Across farmer's car. Wide shot. Day. The FARMER turns and
moves toward his people. DAVIS moves toward his shack.
CLYDE and BONNIE in the b.g.

Close angle. BONNIE and CLYDE.

We rob banks.

BONNIE turns quickly to look at CLYDE. He smiles and nods.




A car is driving down it. It is the next day. BONNIE is
driving, CLYDE beside her.



You just stay in the car and watch
and be ready.
(he is playing it
cool, knowing she is
scared. He thinks
he's James Cagney)
Okay now?
(he hands her a gun
from the glove compartment)
You just be ready if I need you.
BONNIE's hands are tense on the wheel. Her face shows how
nervous she is now that the time has come.



They drive in silence.

What are you thinkin' about?

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Romance"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde meet two farmers who were forced out of their home by the bank. In a show of solidarity, the farmers join the couple in target practice, revealing the couple's profession as bank robbers.
Strengths "Plays with tension and humor, shows Bonnie's growing confidence, sets up themes of rebellion and solidarity."
Weaknesses "Limited character development beyond surface traits."
Critique The scene is well-written as it sets up the dynamic between Bonnie and Clyde as robbers. The action is clear and the dialogue is natural and specific to each character. The pacing is also strong as it builds tension and reveals more about the characters through their actions and words. However, it could benefit from more descriptive language to enhance the visuals of the scene and create a stronger sense of setting and atmosphere. Overall, it's a solid scene that effectively introduces the characters and their motivations.
Suggestions To improve this scene, consider adding more tension and conflict. Perhaps there could be a disagreement between Bonnie and Clyde about the bank they plan to rob or their approach to the robbery. Additionally, the interaction with the farmer and Old Negro could be more complex and nuanced, with more subtext and history between the characters. This would make the scene more engaging and interesting for the audience. Finally, consider incorporating more visual cues and details to help the audience visualize the setting and the characters' actions.

Scene 7 -  Robbery and Violence
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6

We are still in the car. BONNIE pulls over and stops by the
bank. CLYDE is frozen in his seat. We can see that, for
all his talk, he is scared, too.

What are you waitin' for?

That gets him. CLYDE throws the door open and jumps,
practically dives out the door. The camera follows his
motion right inside the bank, tracking very fast.


Something is very screwy here. The bank is dark, the TELLER
is half asleep over his books. CLYDE approaches, thrusts
the gun at him.


(with a swagger)
This is a stickup. Just take it
easy and nothin' will happen to you.
Gimme the money.

(looking up with no
fear, his voice calm
and conversational)

(nonplussed at this)
Gimme the money!

What money? There ain't no money
here, mister.

(totally befuddled at
the turn of events)
What do you mean there ain't no
money? This here is a bank, ain't

The camera pans around the bank. We see that it is empty,
dusty and shuttered.

This was a bank. We failed three
weeks ago.

What? What??

In a rage, he goes behind the partition, grabs the teller
and pushes him ahead with the gun. CLYDE is fuming. He
forces the teller out the front door.


--showing BONNIE in the car. She is terrified as she sees
CLYDE and the TELLER coming at her. She doesn't understand
what is happening.

(shoving the teller forward)
Tell her! Tell her!


(acting like a man
who has had his sleep
interrupted by lunatics)
As I was tellin' this gentleman,
our bank failed last month and
ain't no money in it. I sure am

BONNIE's reaction is one of hysterical relief and
appreciation of what's funny in the situation. She laughs
uproariously, she can't stop laughing. This makes CLYDE
madder than ever. He shoves the teller to the ground.


Completely humiliated, CLYDE gets in the car, shoving BONNIE
over. She is still laughing. BONNIE starts the car. CLYDE
points his gun out the window.

Close shot. Bank window--whereon is lettered: ASSETS-$70,000.


Angle to include bank window. CLYDE aims and puts a bullet
through each of the zeros. We see each zero shot through.
Then the entire window hangs there for a second and suddenly
crashes. On the soundtrack, BONNIE's laughter.



--still driving. BONNIE has still not fully recovered from
her mirth, but is quieting down because she sees that CLYDE
is really mad and can't be pushed too far.

We got $1.98 and you're laughin'.

She tries to stop.


The car pulls down another street of shops in another little
hick town. A grocery store ahead.


Keep it running.



There is an old CLERK behind the counter, and standing in
the b.g., almost out of our vision, is a BUTCHER--an enormous
giant of a man. CLYDE steps up to the counter.
Give me a loaf of bread, a dozen
eggs and a quart of milk.

The CLERK gets the order and puts it in a bag. He rings
open the cash register preparatory to asking CLYDE for the
money. CLYDE pulls his gun.

This is a stickup. I'll take all
the money in that drawer now.

He reaches over the counter into the cash drawer and grabs
the bills. He smiles. Suddenly looming beside CLYDE is the
BUTCHER, brandishing a meat cleaver. Camera looks up at
this formidable sight as the cleaver comes crashing down,
missing CLYDE and sticking in the wooden counter. He grabs
CLYDE around the chest in a bear hug and actually lifts him
off the ground. The struggle is in silence. CLYDE is
terrified, fighting wildly to get free. The gun in CLYDE's
hand is pinned, because the man has CLYDE's arm pinned to
his thigh. CLYDE tries to raise the barrel at an upward
angle to shoot, finally he is able to do so. He fires. The
bullet enters the BUTCHER's stomach. The BUTCHER screams,
but reacts like a wounded animal, more furious than ever.
He still holds CLYDE in a fierce hug, staggering around the
store, knocking into shelves and spilling cans. CLYDE is
hysterical with fear. He shoots the BUTCHER again. The
BUTCHER falls to his knees, but still he doesn't release
CLYDE. In a panic, CLYDE drags the man to the door, trying
to get out.


BONNIE sees CLYDE and the BUTCHER holding his legs. She is
terrified. CLYDE drags him out on the street. The BUTCHER
won't let go. CLYDE, in real panic, aims the gun at his
head and fires. Click. Out of bullets. In blind fury, he
pistol-whips the BUTCHER's head with two terrific swipes.
Finally the BUTCHER lets go. Hysterical, CLYDE jumps away
and leaps into the car on the other side. BONNIE still at
the wheel.

Get the hell out of here!

They drive-off at top speed.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Romance"]

Summary After failing to rob a bank, Clyde and Bonnie rob a grocery store and encounter a giant butcher who tries to stop them. In a violent struggle, Clyde shoots the butcher multiple times and beats him with his gun.
Strengths "The scene builds tension and suspense effectively, especially in the struggle between Clyde and the butcher. The violence is intense and memorable."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not particularly standout or memorable. The scene also relies heavily on action and violence and may be triggering or disturbing for some viewers."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. One strength is that it conveys a sense of tension and urgency, both through the rapid camera movements and the characters' behavior. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be tightened up or improved:

- The dialogue exchange between Clyde and the teller could be condensed to make it snappier and more focused. As it is, the back-and-forth goes on for a bit too long and weakens the impact of the scene.
- There could be more attention paid to Clyde's emotions and reactions throughout the scene. While it's clear that he's scared and angry, more detailed descriptions of his physical and mental state would make him more three-dimensional as a character and heighten the stakes of the situation.
- The action of the scene could be made more specific and visually dynamic. For example, the struggle between Clyde and the butcher could be described in more detail, with specific actions and movements that create a visceral, cinematic experience for the reader/audience.
- Finally, there could be a bit more context given for why Clyde and Bonnie are robbing these places, and what their larger goals or motivations might be. While the scene is vivid and engaging on its own, it would be even more impactful if we had a better understanding of the characters' overall journey.
Suggestions Overall, this scene has good pacing and tension-building, but here are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. Use description to enhance the visuals and mood: Throughout the scene, there is a lot of action happening but the description doesn't really help to paint a vivid picture. Adding sensory details and descriptive language can make the scene more engaging and help the audience feel like they are there with the characters.

2. Develop the character's emotions more: The characters of Bonnie and Clyde are quite one-dimensional in this scene, as they are either scared or angry. Adding some moments of vulnerability or introspection can make them feel more human and relatable.

3. Consider the pacing of the action: The action in the grocery store feels somewhat rushed, and it can be difficult to follow what's happening. Adding some more beats to the sequence can make it feel more nuanced and exciting. Additionally, the scene where they arrive at the empty bank could be shortened for efficiency.

4. Make use of sound and music: This scene could benefit from some sound design or music to heighten the tension and mood. The gunshot sounds, the humming of the car's engine, or some dramatic music can all enhance the emotional impact of the scene.

Scene 8 -  Recruitment at the Gas Station
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
CLYDE is shaken. He speaks haltingly, panting; trying to
get control of himself.

Damn him, that big son of a bitch...
He tried to kill me... I ain't got
eyes in back of my head... I didn't
want to hurt him. It wasn't a real
robbery... Some food and a little
bit of dough. I'm not against him.


The car is speeding down an open road. Suddenly it begins
to buck and cough. There is something wrong with the motor.


His cherubic cheeks are puffed up as he blows into the fuel
lines of CLYDE's car. There is a distinctly flat sound.

Reaction: CLYDE and BONNIE. CLYDE stands by the hood.
BONNIE remains seated in the car. CLYDE is covered with
sweat and grease--clearly he has gotten in his licks on the
engine without success. Neither he nor BONNIE seems
impressed by the noise C.W. is making.

Another angle. C.W.--as he screws back the fuel line and
moves between BONNIE and CLYDE to the ignition, turning the
engine over. It purrs beautifully. CLYDE is astonished.

What was wrong, anyway?

(moving back to screw
on gas cap)
Air bubble--clogged the fuel line.

C.W. now stands between BONNIE and CLYDE.

I just blowed her away.

CLYDE still can't get over it.

You just blowed it away.
C.W. belches. He is embarrassed before BONNIE.


'Scuse me, ma'm... Anythin' else I
can do for you?

CLYDE nods vigorously, looking across C.W.'s back to BONNIE.
BONNIE gets the message.

Well...I'm not sure...
(she looks around)
Say, them little red things there
stickin' up? Are they gas pumps?

(he's not too bright)

Isn't that interesting? How does
that there gasoline get in my
little old car?

(trying to be helpful)
Well, y'see, there's this tank
underground, and the gas comes up
this tube into the pump and into
your car, M'am.

My, you're a smart fellow. You
sure know a lot about automobiles,
don't you?

(he has no idea he's
being toyed with)
Yeah, I do.

Well, would you know what kind of a
car this is?

(touching it)
Yeah, it's a Chevrolet 8-cylinder
No, no.

Sure it is.


No, this is a stolen Chevrolet 8-
cylinder coupe.

C.W. jerks his hand off it as if he touched a hot stove.

(getting in the conversation)
You ain't scared, are you?
(to Bonnie)
I believe he is. What a pity. We
sure coulda used a smart boy who
knows such a great deal about
(suddenly business-
like, to C.W.)
You a good driver, boy?

(getting quite confused)
I guess so.

(pretending to cool
on him)
No, I don't think so. He's better
off here...

What's your name, boy?

C.W. Moss.

What's the C.W. for?

Clarence Wallace.

I'm Miss Bonnie Parker and this is
Mr. Clyde Barrow. We... rob...
(C.W. reacts with
wide eyes)

(swiftly, testing his mettle)
Ain't nothing wrong with that, is
there, boy?


Uh, nope--

(with a put-on sigh)
No, he ain't the one.

Unless, Boy, you think you got
enough guts for our line of work?

(affronted in his
dumb way)
What do you mean? I served a year
in the reform school.

Oh, a man with a record!

Now look here, I know you got the
nerve to short-change old ladies
who come in for gas, but what I'm
askin' you is have you got what it
takes to pull bank jobs with us?

Mr. C.W. Moss?

(anxious to prove himself)
Sure, I could. Sure I could. I
ain't scared, if that's what you
Prove it.

C.W. walks away from the car. Camera remains where it was.
We see him walk inside the gas station office, open the cash
drawer, close it and come out. He emerges with a fistful of
money. He walks over to BONNIE's window, sticks his hand
inside and drops the money on her lap. We see the bills
flutter down. Not a word is spoken. BONNIE moves over into
the middle. C.W. opens the door and gets in behind the
wheel. For a moment we see them all sitting there, each
smiling their little smile. CLYDE starts to hum a hillbilly
tune quietly. The sound track picks it up (banjo and
violin, etc.) and as the music swells, they drive off down
the road.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde attempt to recruit C.W. Moss as their getaway driver after he fixes their car. They test his nerve and he proves himself by stealing money from the gas station cash drawer.
Strengths "The scene sets up C.W. as a potential ally for Bonnie and Clyde, and the tension builds as they test his resolve. The banter between the characters is engaging and adds to the overall tone of the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene is relatively slow-paced and may not hold the attention of some viewers. There are no major plot developments beyond the introduction of C.W. Moss."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing the characters and their situation. There is a clear sense of tension and danger, as well as some humor and character development.

However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved.

Firstly, some of the dialogue feels a bit stilted and unrealistic. For example, when Clyde asks C.W. if he's scared, C.W. immediately responds with "Uh, nope--" which doesn't feel very authentic. It might be more effective to have C.W. hesitate or try to play it cool before admitting his fear.

Additionally, there are a few moments where the scene focuses on details that aren't particularly important to the story. For example, the description of how gasoline gets into cars feels like it could be trimmed down or cut altogether.

Overall, though, the scene is well-paced and effectively establishes the characters and their dynamics. The ending, with C.W. stealing the money and driving off with the others, is a satisfying conclusion to the scene.
Suggestions While there is decent character development and dialogue, this scene could benefit from some added tension and conflict. Suggestions could include adding a sense of urgency to the situation, such as having the police hot on their trail or adding a time limit for their next job. Additionally, the introduction of C.W. Moss seems rather sudden and convenient, so perhaps adding some backstory or history between him and the main characters would help make the scene more believable. Lastly, while the introduction of humor is appreciated, it may be beneficial to balance it out with some more serious moments to fully showcase the danger and consequences of their actions.

Scene 9 -  Preparing for the Robbery
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

A small room with a bed. On it, covered by a sheet which
humps like a mountain over his enormous stomach, is the
BUTCHER. His head is propped up on a pillow and he sips a
liquid through a bent glass straw. Camera is on the left
side of the head of the bed, seeing the BUTCHER in a three-
quarter profile. On the opposite side of the bed stands a
uniformed patrolman who is in the act of flashing mug-shot
photos for the BUTCHER to identify his assailant. The
lawman holds a stack of them in front of them, swiftly
changing the cards like a grade-school teacher with her
flash cards. At each picture, the BUTCHER grunts negatively
and goes on sipping from his glass straw. One picture, two,
three go by. The fourth picture is a mug shot of CLYDE.
Again the BUTCHER grunts 'no,' without hesitation. As the
next picture comes into view, we



--on a painted wooden sign, lit by one attached light, which
reads: "MOTOR COURT".


--in darkness. Camera is close on BONNIE. She is awake and
restless. O.S. comes the measured snoring that we will
think comes from CLYDE. BONNIE raises up and kneels over
Clyde. She needs him. Clyde seems to snore on. Camera
drops between them and we see that the snoring actually
comes from C.W. BONNIE drops back on her pillow. We cut
close on CLYDE. He is awake.


BONNIE, CLYDE and C.W. seated in a booth in a cafe. The
Waitress brings the food and serves everybody. We see C.W.
With great concentration, as he does everything by relating
to the immediate action he happens to be involved with, he
takes the sugar shaker and begins methodically sprinkling
sugar over all his food. He sugars the meat, the beans, and
the beets. BONNIE and CLYDE watch this performance with
first, amazement and second, disgust. They can't believe
what they see.

C.W., what are you doing? Why do
you do that?


(beginning to eat it)
Why not?

It's just disgusting, that's why.

Not to me it ain't.

But...but it makes everything sweet!

Yeah, I know.

With a resigned expression, BONNIE turns away and begins to
eat. Suddenly a look of consternation crosses C.W.'s face.

Damn! No mayonnaise!

He gets up and goes down to the counter on the other end of
the restaurant, out of our vision, apparently planning to
put mayonnaise over the sugar. The minute he is out of
earshot, BONNIE gets CLYDE's attention.

Clyde, why does he have to stay in
the same room as us?

CLYDE seems not to have heard the question. He takes up the
sugar shaker and spreads a thin field of sugar on the dark
table surface. He will sketch his plan in the sugar.

Lemme show you about tomorrow.


Now C.W.'ll be waitin' right
outside in the car. Here is the
teller's cage. Four of them and
over here the desks and what have

Why, Clyde...



In the same room with us?

Hell, where else? Ain't gonna
spread out all over the state...

The harshness of his tone concerns him and he recovers with
a smile.

Not yet, anyway. Now, the door to
the bank is here now. You cover me
from there.

(takes his hand to
her face)
Just that I love you so much.

You're the best damn girl in Texas.
C.W. comes back with the mayonnaise; looks at the table.

Hey, you spilled the sugar.

Three shot.

The layout for tomorrow up in

Mineola? Gosh, that's four, five
hundred miles from here!

So what? We take U.S. 85 to Willis
Point, don't you know, and cut over
on State Highway 28 at Kaufman,
keep on goin' till we hit the farm-
to-market road that connects to 105
and that's right up by Mineola. On
a Saturday afternoon...


The car driving into a small Kansas town. It is Saturday
afternoon, sunny. The streets are filled with people, cars,
wagons. C.W.


is driving, BONNIE is in front with him, CLYDE is in the
back. C.W. looks scared to death at the idea of robbing a
bank. The car pulls up in front of the bank, double-parked.
BONNIE and CLYDE get out.


Keep it running.

BONNIE and CLYDE enter bank.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde plan their bank heist with C.W. in a café and later arrive in Mineola. They are seen double-parked in front of the bank, where they prepare to commit the robbery.
Strengths "Strong character development and an engaging plot"
Weaknesses "Lack of action and low emotional impact"
Critique First and foremost, the scene lacks a clear objective or conflict, making it slow and unengaging for the audience. There is no clear goal established for any character, and the dialogue feels more like exposition than meaningful conversation. Additionally, the formatting is not correct, making it difficult to follow the action.

The scene starts with a description of the surroundings and the physical appearance of the characters, but it lacks a clear sense of purpose, leaving the audience to wonder where the story is heading. Furthermore, the dialogue does not reveal much about the characters, and the interaction between them feels forced and unnatural.

To improve the scene, the writer could focus on establishing clear objectives for the characters and a more engaging conflict. For example, the patrolman and butcher could have a tense conversation about the assailant, or Bonnie and Clyde could disagree over the plan for the next robbery. Additionally, the dialogue could reveal more about the characters' personalities and motivations, making them more relatable and interesting to the audience. Finally, the formatting should follow standard industry practices to make it easier to read and understand.
Suggestions 1. Make the hospital room scene more visually dynamic by adding more camera angles and movements. For example, you could cut to close-ups of the mug shot photos and the Butcher's face as he examines them, or have the camera move in a sweeping motion to create more tension and suspense.

2. Develop the character of C.W. more by giving him clear motivations and a backstory. Right now, he comes off as a one-dimensional character who is just there for comic relief. Perhaps he could have a personal connection to the gang or a reason for his involvement in their crimes.

3. Show more of the planning and preparation for the bank robbery in Mineola. This will increase the stakes and tension for the audience as they see all the factors that could go wrong.

4. Consider adding more dialogue and character interactions during the bank robbery scene to showcase each character's unique personality and quirks.

5. Find ways to tie all the scenes together thematically or narratively. Right now, the scenes feel disjointed and lack a clear throughline. By connecting them in some way, the story will feel more cohesive and satisfying for the audience.

Scene 10 -  Bank Robbery and Getaway
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Cut to the interior of the bank. BONNIE and CLYDE come in,
assume the class positions--she at the door where she can
cover the bank, CLYDE at the first teller's cage.
(in a very quiet voice)
This is a stickup.


This is a stickup.

This time everyone in the bank hears it. The people gasp
and pull back. CLYDE slowly edges toward the door and prods
BONNIE forward. She carries a paper sack. CLYDE motions
her to go from cage to cage and get all of the money.
BONNIE begins doing so, while CLYDE keeps his gun trained on
everybody. We see BONNIE get the money from the first
teller, the second teller, then...


A car parked in a tight spot has just pulled out.

Close-up C.W. Day--who suddenly looks delighted to see a
parking space.


Immediately he methodically begins to back in. It's a tight
spot and he has to cut the wheel, pull forward, cut some
more, pull back and so on. The scene, for the audience,
should be nervous and funny.




Inside the bank, BONNIE and CLYDE have filled the sack.
They run out the door, the camera tracks with them.


They run for where the car was, but it isn't there. Then
they see C.W. has parked it.


Let's go! Let's go!
C.W. suddenly realizes what a stupid thing he's done.


C.W. tries to shoot out of the parking spot, but he can't.
He has to go through the business of backing up, cutting the
wheel and all of it. The scene is one of pure pandemonium
and chaos.


Come on! Get it out!


A policeman arrives and begins firing at car. C.W. gets the
car halfway out of the spot, scraping fenders in the process,
and the car is almost out when suddenly a face looms up at
the window--a dignified, white-haired, celluloid-collared
man, obviously a bank official who has leaped onto the
running board. His screaming can barely by distinguished
from all the noise.


CLYDE fires through the window.

Close-up (special effects). The face of the man explodes in
blood. Then he drops out of sight.


The car shoots off down the road, doing ninety. Police are
firing at the escaping car; BONNIE and CLYDE are shooting
out the back window; C.W. is almost having a nervous
breakdown at the wheel.



A police car that had been chasing CLYDE and BONNIE's car
comes down the street. It is obvious that the cops have
lost them. They are searching the street for a sign of
CLYDE's car. They pass a movie house whose marquee reads:
"GOLDDIGGERS OF 1933." They slow for a moment, decide that
is not a probable place to look. They drive off.

The opening musical sequence of "Golddiggers" is on the
screen. Ginger Rogers sings "We're In The Money." Among
the audience we cannot make out our three people. It is a
small audience and thinly dispersed.

Tight shot at audience. Camera pans the audience while on
the track we hear the music of the song. First of our group
who becomes visible is C.W. He is staring at the screen and
eating bites from a candy bar in each hand. Camera pans
further and we see that CLYDE is in the row behind C.W. and
a few seats to one side. CLYDE is nervous and keeps watching
the entrance doors. He is in a rage. He shifts in his seat.

Boy, you gotta be poor in the head.
You...! Count of you I killed a
man. too.

Shot from behind CLYDE. Shooting toward screen.

Dumb ass stupid.

C.W. turns to CLYDE and nods agreement. This infuriates
CLYDE even more. He slaps the back of C.W.'s head.

Ever do a dumb thing like that
again, I'll kill you boy!

Angle at BONNIE. She has been watching the movie; is now
disturbed by the noise. She turns back to CLYDE from her
seat on the aisle.

Ssshh! If you boys want to talk
why don't you go outside?

She smiles at her joke and turns back to the screen to the
movie which she is obviously enjoying enormously.

Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde rob a bank and escape with C.W. Moss as their driver. They engage in a chaotic car chase and shoot-out with police, then hide out in a movie theater.
Strengths "Pacing and action keeps the audience engaged. The tension is maintained throughout the entire scene. The characters' personalities and relationships are further developed."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue is weak and cliched. There are some plot developments that seem somewhat contrived."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and the action is clear and easy to follow. The tension builds effectively, with Bonnie and Clyde robbing the bank and the chaos that ensues as they try to escape the police. The dialogue between the characters feels believable and adds to the tension, particularly Clyde's anger and his threat towards C.W.

However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved. Firstly, there is a lot of action happening in a short space of time, and some of the description could be condensed or simplified to make it easier to follow. For example, the section where C.W. is trying to park the car could be shortened, as it feels like it interrupts the more important action of the bank robbery and subsequent escape.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from more visual description to help the reader envision what is happening on screen. For example, when Bonnie is collecting money from the tellers, it would be helpful to know how much money she is taking and how she is stuffing it into the paper sack. Similarly, when the car is being shot at by the police, it would be helpful to know what the bullets are hitting and what the damage looks like.

Overall, this scene is well-written and thrilling, but could benefit from some small improvements in clarity and visual description.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene could benefit from more description and detail. Instead of relying solely on dialogue, there should be clear actions and movements for the characters. For example, when Clyde motions Bonnie to go from cage to cage to get money, there should be specific actions and movements that show how she is doing this.

Additionally, there should be more tension and suspense in the scene as it is a bank robbery. The audience should feel the fear and panic of the people in the bank. This can be shown through visuals, sound effects, and camera angles.

Furthermore, the scene where C.W. parks the car and struggles to get out should be shortened or removed entirely. It disrupts the flow of the scene and takes away from the tension and action of the robbery.

Finally, the scene in the movie theater should be expanded upon and made more significant. It is a unique and memorable setting, but it feels rushed and lacking in depth. The dialogue between the characters could be more meaningful and reveal their motivations and feelings.

Scene 11 -  Bonnie and Clyde discuss their future
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 10

On the right of the screen, f.g., BONNIE stands at the sink
fixing her make-up in the mirror. The make-up has become
more conservative. On the left, further back, is a bathtub
and in it sits C.W. His head and knees peek over the gray,
soapy water. He is engaged with his usual single-minded
concentration, in washing himself, carefully scrubbing his
arms, not a thought in his head. BONNIE finishes her make-
up and regards herself quizzically, tilting her head to look
at herself at different angles. She is smoking a cigarette,
and really, studying herself.

What do you think of me, C.W.?

Uh...well, you're just fine, I
guess. Uh, well, course you're a
real good shot...and...uh...well,
sometimes you look pretty as a

Camera stays with BONNIE during all this, watching her look
at herself as she listens to C.W.'s evaluation. She has a
narcissistic concern at the moment and as she hears him
enumerate her values, she thinks about each in turn and
decides yes, that's true.

Hey, uh, Bonnie...could you get me
that washrag there?

Responding automatically, BONNIE turns and walks to a towel
rack, pulls the washcloth off and starts toward C.W. when
suddenly she stops with a smile on her face and a sudden
motion. Teasingly, she holds the washcloth out at arm's

Why'nt you come get it?

(not even realizing
what's on her mind)

(wiggling the
washcloth like a
bull-fighter's cape)
Whyn't you come get it, C.W.?

Suddenly C.W. looks mortally embarrassed as he realizes what
that would entail.

Aw, Bonnie, come on, gimme it.

BONNIE tries another tack. She begins sauntering over
slowly, teasingly, still holding out the treasured washcloth.

All right, I'll bring it myself.

As she moves closer to the tub, C.W. realizes that she will
be able to peer down into the tub and see him and he
frantically reaches up with one hand and yanks the washcloth
into the tub, causing a great splash. BONNIE, somewhat the
victim of the splash, jumps back and away. Recovering her
composure, she looks at C.W. who is slunk down in the tub
like a gross September Morn. She has tried him and he has
failed; she realizes now that he was no choice for her; no
real man, even if he might perform sexually. He is a lump.
This irritates her; his very presence is demeaning to
herself and CLYDE.

(irritated with
herself for even
thinking of such a thing)
You simpleton, what would you do if
we just pulled out some night while
you was asleep?

(trying to give the
right answer, but
obviously faking it)
Oh, I wouldn't know what to do.
But you wouldn't do that. You
couldn't now.

BONNIE realizes, with some weariness, the inevitable truth
of what he's said; thus resigned, she says patronizingly:

That's right, C.W. We'll always be
around to take care of you.

Pointedly, she throws her cigarette in his bath-water,
"Sssssssssss." She turns and leaves the bathroom, slamming
the door behind her.


Camera goes with her into the connecting bedroom. CLYDE is
sitting on the edge of the bed cleaning the guns and oiling
them. He is quiet and preoccupied and takes no note of
BONNIE's present condition. The moment she enters, he looks

Bonnie, I want to talk to you. Sit

BONNIE sits, a little taken off balance by his serious
manner. But she listens quietly.

This afternoon we killed a man and
we were seen. Now nobody knows who
you are yet, but they're going to
be after me and anybody who's
runnin' with me. Now that's murder
now and it's gonna get rough.
continues speaking
carefully and gently.)
Look, I can't get out, but right
now you still can. You say the
word and I'll put you on the bus to
go back to your Mother. 'Cause you
mean a lot to me, honey, and I
ain't going to make you run with me.
So if you want, you say the word.

BONNIE, moved by his offer, has tears in her eyes.

(as he pauses)
Why? We ain't gonna have a minute's

BONNIE doesn't like him in this mood. She tries to josh him
out of it.

Oh, pshaw.

(trying to make her
see the seriousness
of it)
Bonnie, we could get killed.


(death has no reality
for her)
Who'd wanna kill a sweet young
thing like me?

(amused in spite of himself)
I ain't no sweet young thing.

Oh, Clyde, I can't picture you with
a halo, and if you went to the
other place you'd rob the Devil
blind, so he'd kick you right back
to me.

Close-up. CLYDE--touched deeply, realizes that this was a
lovely thing to say to him.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary Clyde offers Bonnie an out, knowing they're being pursued by the police after killing a man during a heist. Bonnie declines, their mutual devotion reaffirmed.
Strengths "Strong emotional performances from both lead actors, particularly during Clyde's offer to Bonnie. Intimate setting provides a personal touch to a high-stakes story."
Weaknesses "C.W.'s previous scene largely unconnected to the rest of the plot. Some may find the tonal shift from playful with C.W. to serious with Bonnie jarring."
Critique Overall, the scene has good character development and dialogue that stays true to the characters, particularly Bonnie's narcissistic tendencies. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

First, the setting could be better established to create a stronger visual image for the audience. Include more details about the state of the motel bathroom, such as the color of the walls or the state of the towels. This will help the audience better visualize the scene.

Second, the camera direction could be clearer. What is the intended shot for each character's dialogue? More detail on camera angles and movements would make the scene stronger.

Finally, the scene ends abruptly and could use a clearer transition to the next scene or moment. Add more closure to the scene or a stronger transition to the bedroom scene.

Overall, the scene has potential but could be strengthened with more attention to setting, camera direction, and closure.
Suggestions 1. Add more sensory details: While the scene has dialogue and action, it lacks sensory details to make it more engaging and immersive. Adding more specific descriptions of the sights, sounds, smells, and textures in the scene would help the audience feel like they are in the room with the characters.

2. Clarify character motivations: C.W.'s behavior in the scene is unclear--why is he so embarrassed by Bonnie's teasing when he has already seen her naked before? Clarifying character motivations can improve the logic and consistency of the scene.

3. Develop the emotional through-line: The scene starts with Bonnie being narcissistic, shifts to her teasing C.W., and ends with Clyde offering Bonnie a way out. While there is some continuity in the scene, it would benefit from a stronger emotional through-line that ties all the actions and dialogue together with a clear goal or conflict.

4. Foreshadow future events: As scene 11 out of 44, there are likely key events that will happen later in the script. Adding subtle hints or foreshadowing can create anticipation and lead the audience to want to see what happens next.

Scene 12 -  Brothers Reunite
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

They kiss. They are near the bed on which are some guns
that CLYDE has been cleaning. The kiss moves toward real
love making. They are on the bed and push the guns aside.
Some fall to the floor. CLYDE breaks the embrace after it
has reached a high pitch. He moves away from the bed toward
the window. BONNIE follows him and embraces him from the
rear. They are miserable. BONNIE frees him and returns to
the bed. She falls on it face down. A gun presses into her
face. CLYDE sits in the window, the light silhouettes him.
He turns his face toward the glass and rests his head on the
window pane. BONNIE turns to him from bed. She smiles a
comforting smile at him. She rolls over onto her back. The
gun is now under her head and moves it. She sits up and
gestures to CLYDE. He remains at the window. She stares at
him. She looks toward the bathroom. She looks back at
CLYDE. She is moved and pained for him. She touches her
cheek with the gun and waits for him to be able to look at
her. Finally he does. Her look eases him and he almost

Shot of little fuzzy doll tied by a white shoestring to the
rear-view mirror of a car. The car is moving; the doll is
bouncing up and down. In the front seat are BUCK and
BLANCHE BARROW. BUCK is a jovial, simple, big-hearted man.
A little chubby, given to raucous jokes, knee-slapping and
broad reactions. He is, in many ways, the emotional opposite
of his brother. It doesn't take much to make him happy.
BLANCHE, his wife, is the direct opposite of BONNIE.


She is a housefrau, no more and no less, not terribly
bright, not very ambitious, cuddly, simpering, madly in love
with BUCK and desirous of keeping their lives on the straight
and narrow. As the scene begins we hear and then see BUCK,
driving, singing "The Great Speckled Bird." BLANCHE is
sitting next to him looking at a movie magazine, appearing
fairly miserable.

"What a beautiful thought I am
Concernin' that great speckled
Remember his name is recorded
on the pages of God's Holy word..."

All right, now you did foolish
things as a young man, honey-love,
but you went and paid your debt to
society and that was right. But
now you just gettin' back in with
the criminal element.

Criminal element! This is my
brother, darlin'. Shoot, he ain't
no more criminal than you are,

Well, that ain't what I heard.

Now word of mouth just don't go,
darlin', you gotta have the facts.
Shoot. Why he and me growed up
together, slept and worked side by
God, what a boy he was!

He's a crook.

Now you stop bad-mouthin' him,
Blanche. We're just gonna have us
a little family visit for a few
weeks and then we'll go back to
Dallas and I'll get me a job


I just ain't gonna work in your
Daddy's church--That's final.
(laughing it off, singing)
"What a beautiful thought I am
Concernin' that great speckled



BUCK's car drives up to the cabin, honking the horn wildly.
The door of the cabin opens and CLYDE comes running out. He
is overjoyed to see his brother. BUCK jumps out of the car,
equally delighted. They hug each other.

(hugging him)

Clyde! You son of a bitch!

They laugh happily and begin sparring with each other,
faking punches and blocking punches--an old childhood ritual.
There is a great feeling of warmth between the two brothers.
CLYDE is more outgoing than we have ever seen him before.

How's ma? How's sister?
Just fine, just fine. Send their
best to you.

(patting Buck's stomach)
Hey, you're fillin' out there.
Must be that prison food.

Hell no!
It's married life. You know what
they say, it's the face powder that
gets a man interested, but it's the
baking powder that keeps him at


(he explodes with
laughter and so does
Clyde, who loves
Buck's jokes)
Hey! you gotta meet my wife. Hey,
honey, c'mon out here now and meet
my baby brother.

Camera swings to car. We see BLANCHE still sitting there,
her face obscured by the glint of sun on the windshield.
Slowly, she gets out of the car, still carrying the movie

(suspiciously, quite
the grand lady)

(shaking her hand)
Howdy-do. It's real nice to know

BUCK beams with pleasure, thinking they must like each other.
BONNIE comes out of the cabin, standing on the steps. The
screen door slams behind her.

Close-up. BONNIE. Day--expressionless, looking it all over.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary Clyde and Bonnie share a moment of intimacy, Buck and Blanche drive to the cabin, and Buck and Clyde reunite joyfully.
Strengths "The scene effectively conveys the deep love between Buck and Clyde as brothers, and contrasts with the chaotic and dangerous robbery that precedes it."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel slow-paced compared to the earlier action, and does not advance the plot significantly."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene has some strengths but also some weaknesses.

Firstly, the scene is well-written in terms of dialogue and description. It's clear what the characters are doing and feeling, and the dialogue reflects their personalities and motives. For example, Buck's jovial and simple personality is reflected in his singing and jokes, while Blanche's suspicion and concern is evident in her dialogue with Buck.

However, the scene also has some weaknesses. There is a lack of visual interest and action in the scene, which can make it feel stagnant and slow. Additionally, the scene feels disjointed from the scene before it, which had a lot of tension and intimacy between Bonnie and Clyde. The sudden shift to Buck and Blanche's scene feels jarring and takes away from the emotional impact of the previous scene.

Overall, while there are some strengths in the scene's writing, it could benefit from more visual interest and better transitions between scenes.
Suggestions First and foremost, the scene would benefit from more clear and concise visual descriptions. It can be difficult to follow the action with the current phrasing. Additionally, it would be beneficial to have more insight into the emotional state of the characters.

For example, when Clyde breaks the embrace, it would be helpful to know why and what he's feeling in that moment. Is he nervous about the guns nearby, or is there something else on his mind? Similarly, when Bonnie smiles at him, it's unclear what that smile means or how it affects Clyde.

Overall, adding more depth to the characters and their motivations would improve the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.

Scene 13 -  Meet and Greet
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 6
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

BUCK and CLYDE notice nothing of this. BUCK bounds over to
BONNIE, all jollity.

(grabbing her)
Well! You must be Bonnie! Now I
hear you been takin' good care of
the baby in the family. Well sis,
I'm real glad to meet you!
(he hugs her; BONNIE
just lets herself be hugged)
(breaking the hug)
I'd like you to meet my wife,




There is an awkward pause. Suddenly the screen door opens
and C.W. comes out, dressed in his long underwear. BLANCHE
can hardly stand it.

Everybody, this is C.W. Moss.
C.W., my brother Buck and his wife,

Heighdy, y'all.

He pumps BUCK's hand vigorously and then goes to BLANCHE.
With his characteristic one-track intensity, he decides to
act just as friendly as he can with BLANCHE, ignoring the
fact that he's standing there in his underwear. BLANCHE,
however, is not ignoring it.

Well how do, Mrs. Barrow. Or can I
call you Blanch? I sure am pleased
to meet you.
(shaking her hand;
Blanche is slowly
going crazy with mortification)
Did you have a hard time findin' us
here in this neck of the woods?
Well, you sure picked a good day
for it. Say, you got a Screenland
there! Any new photos of Myrna Loy?
She's my favorite picture star.

BLANCHE is starting to edge over to BUCK in sheer panic at
this strange, young man in his BVD's but C.W. takes no
notice of it.

BLANCHE finally grabs BUCK's arm. BONNIE watches it all,

Hey, lemme get the Kodak!

BUCK goes to his car and gets a folding Brownie camera.

(lighting up a cigar)
Hey, C.W., go put your pants on.
We're gonna take some pictures.


Y'all hear about the guy who
thought Western Union was a cowboy's

BUCK and CLYDE and C.W. laugh heartily. C.W. goes into the
cabin. BUCK pushes BLANCHE and CLYDE together, posing them
for a picture.

Lemme get one of my bride and my

(getting kittenish,
and overdoing it)
Buck! Don't take my picture now.
I'm just a mess from driving all day.

Oh honey, now you look real fine.
BONNIE watches BLANCHE's behavior with hardly-veiled disgust.
BUCK snaps the picture as BLANCHE is just about to move out
of it.

(with unbecoming
girlish outrage)
Did you take my picture? Oh Buck!
I declare--

BUCK laughs and goes to BONNIE, takes her by the arm and
moves her next to CLYDE and BLANCHE. He lines them up,
steps back and takes their picture. CLYDE is the only one

(pulling out his gun
and posing like a
movie tough)
Hey, Buck, get one of this.

BUCK does.

(giving Clyde the camera)
Clyde, you do one of me and my

He puts his arm around BLANCHE. CLYDE takes the picture.


(throwing her a challenge)
Let me take on of Bonnie.

BONNIE grins at him and responds with amused arrogance.

(she yanks the cigar
from Clyde's mouth,
smokes it and poses)

CLYDE snaps the picture. Everyone but BLANCHE laughs. C.W.
comes out dressed.

(drawing Clyde aside)
Hey, brother, let's you and me do a
little talkin'.
(handing C.W. the camera)
Here, C.W., take the girls' picture.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang arrives at a cabin and Buck introduces Bonnie to his wife, Blanche. C.W. comes out in his long underwear and goes on to charm Blanche, much to her discomfort. The gang takes pictures and shares some jokes.
Strengths "The scene has a light-hearted tone that provides a break from the intensity of the previous scenes. The characters' personalities and dynamic are further developed through their interactions. The humor drives the scene forward."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks significant plot development, and the stakes are relatively low. There is no conflict to speak of."
Critique This scene is well written and effectively sets the tone for the film. The dialogue is realistic and the interactions between the characters are believable. The introduction of Blanche adds a new dynamic to the group, and the tension between her and C.W. is particularly well done. However, there are some areas where the scene could be improved. The stage directions could be more detailed, giving the actors a clearer idea of their movements and motivations. Additionally, the camera angles could be more clearly defined, as some of the shots are not explicitly described. Overall, this is a solid scene that effectively advances the plot and develops the characters.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more description to the setting: While the scene takes place outside of a cabin, there is no description of the surroundings or atmosphere. Adding details could help set the tone for the scene. Is it sunny or cloudy? Are there trees around the cabin? Is there any noise in the background?

2. Develop the character interactions: The dialogue between the characters feels stiff and unnatural. Adding more personality and quirks to each character could make the scene more interesting and engaging. For example, have Blanche react to C.W.'s long underwear in a more humorous way, or have Bonnie tease Clyde about his tough-guy pose.

3. Add conflict: The scene lacks any real conflict, making it feel unimportant. Introducing a problem or tension could make the scene more engaging. For example, perhaps Blanche is uncomfortable with the Barrow Gang's lifestyle, or Buck and Clyde are arguing over their plans.

Scene 14 -  Boys' Clubhouse
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

They walk into the cabin. Camera goes with them. Bedroom
is dark, shades pulled down. There is an aura of boys'
clubhouse secret camaraderie in the following scene:

(as soon as the door
is shut; conspiratorially)
It was you or him, wasn't it?


That guy you killed. You had to,
didn't ya?

(they are protecting
each other)
Yeah, he put me in a spot, so I had
to. He didn't have a Chinaman's

But you had to--

Yeah. I had to.


(like two kids
keeping a secret from Mom)
Don't say nothin' to Blanche about

Hey, that time you broke out of
jail, she talk you into goin' back?

(it is obvious he had
hoped Clyde hadn't
known about it)
Yeah, you hear about that?

I won't say nothin' to Bonnie about

I appreciate it.

Yeah...say, what d'ya think of

She's a real peach.

There is now a long pause--a lull in the conversation, as if
they asked each other all the questions and are now out of
things to say. It is too much for BUCK, the natural enemy
of silence, who suddenly claps his hands together and bursts
out animatedly:

Boy, are we gonna have us a good

(matching his merriment)
We surely are!

(a pause, then:)
What are we gonna do?

Well, how's this--I thought we'd
all go to Missouri. They ain't
lookin' for me there. We'll hole
up someplace and have us a regular
vacation. All right?


No trouble, now?

No trouble. I ain't lookin' to go
back to prison.
Hey, what's this I hear about you
cuttin' up your toes, boy?

That ain't but half of it. I did
it so I could get off work detail--
breakin' those damned rocks with a
hammer day and night. Sure enough,
next week I got paroled. I walked
out of that god-forsaken jail on


Ain't life grand?


We see the two cars, one behind the other, driving down a
main road.


CLYDE is driving. BUCK sits next to him. No one else is in
the car.

And the doc, he takes him aside,
says, "Son, your old mama just
gettin' weak and sickly layin'
there. I want you to persuade her
to take a little Brandy, y'know, to
pick her spirits up." "Why, doc,"
he says, "you know my mamma is a
teetotaler. She wouldn't touch a
drop." "Well, I tell you what," the
doc says, "why don't you bring her
a fresh quart of milk every day
from your farm, 'cept you fix it up
so half of it's Brandy and don't
let on!" So he does that, doctors
it up with Brandy, and his mamma
drinks some of it.

And the next day he brings it again
and she drinks some more--and she
keeps it up every day. Finally,
one week later, he brings her the
milk and don't you know she just
shallows it all down, and looks at
her bag and says, "Son, whatever
you do, don't sell that cow!"

CLYDE and BUCK explode in laughter.


At the top of the laugh, cut to the int. of the second car,
riding right in back of them. The atmosphere is completely
unlike the cozy and jolly scene preceding. We have dead
silence. BONNIE is driving, smoking a cigarette, grim.
BLANCHE--seated as far away as she can get from BONNIE
without falling out of the car--makes a face at the cigarette
smoke, rolls down the window for air. C.W.'s in the back
seat, just staring.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Comedy"]

Summary After arriving at a cabin, Buck and Clyde share a moment of intimacy, discuss their recent criminal actions, and plan their next move. They take pictures and joke around, while C.W. charmingly flirts with Blanche.
Strengths "Strong character development and relationship building."
Weaknesses "Lack of significant plot developments."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effective in showing the relationship between Buck and Clyde, as well as the dynamic between the gang and their female companions. The dialogue feels natural and reveals important information about the characters' pasts and motivations without feeling forced.

One minor critique could be that the scene feels a bit aimless and lacks a clear objective or conflict. However, this could be intentional in order to contrast with the tense atmosphere in the other car.

Overall, this scene effectively develops character and relationships, but could benefit from more clear objectives or conflicts to keep the momentum of the story going.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Consider adding more visual description to set the tone of the scene. You mention an "aura of boys' clubhouse secret camaraderie," but it would be helpful to describe the physical space of the cabin as well. How is it decorated? Are there any props that might add to the tone?

2. Give the characters more distinct voices. Right now, Buck and Clyde's dialogue is pretty interchangeable. Consider giving them different speech patterns or slang. This could also help differentiate their characters from each other.

3. Show, don't tell. Clyde and Buck's conversation mostly serves to convey information to the audience about their past actions. Instead of having them directly state what they've done, could you show it in a flashback or a more visual way?

4. Consider tightening up the dialogue. While some of the banter between Clyde and Buck is entertaining, there are sections that drag on too long or aren't relevant to the plot. Try to prune away any extraneous details and keep the dialogue focused on moving the story forward.

5. Create more tension between Bonnie and Clyde. Right now, their storyline feels separate from what's happening with Buck and Clyde. Think about ways to ramp up the conflict between them and build towards a bigger moment of confrontation.

Scene 15 -  Moving In
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

A residential street in Joplin, Missouri, showing a garage
apartment above a double garage. Camera sees BUCK talking
to a dapper gent with keys in his hand. BUCK pays him. The
man tips his hat and walks off. BUCK gestures and Clyde
drives a car into the driveway. C.W. follows, driving
BUCK's car with BLANCHE. CLYDE stops beside BUCK. BUCK
leans into CLYDE's car and says:

I give him a month's rent in
advance. We're all set. Let's get

CLYDE calls back to C.W. in the following car.

Pull up and unload the stuff.

(on the running board
of moving car)
Honey-love, I'm taking you into our
first home.
BLANCHE giggles. The two cars pull up before the garage and
the people start to descend.



A winded BUCK enters and puts down BLANCHE. As others
behind him carry in their things and disperse throughout

Oh look, it's so clean, Buck. And
a Frigidaire...not an icebox!

He give me the grocery number.

He goes to the phone.

Lemme see, eh 4337...Operator...
please ma'm, may I have 4337...if
you please?

Oh...they got linoleum on the
counter. Ain't that clever!

Hello, Smitty's grocery...I'd like
to order a mess of groceries. Oh 143 Hillsdale Street.
Lessee, about 8 pounds of porkchops,
4 pounds of red beans...a can of
Chase and Sandborn...uh.

Oh, isn't this something, Daddy!

Sshh. Uh...quart of milk...uh 8
bottles of Dr. Pepper and that's
it, I guess. Uh...a box
of Rice Krispies...Bye now.


Open on BONNIE and CLYDE. He is cleaning guns. She is
watching something off screen. We hear a clicking sound.

My, you need a haircut, Daddy. You
look like a hillbilly boy.


A look of disgust crosses BONNIE's face. CLYDE, who has
been watching her, smiles. The clicking sound increases


BLANCHE whoops. Camera cuts to see that BUCK and C.W. are
playing checkers and BUCK has just beaten him.


Boy, you ain't never gonna beat me
but you keep tryin' now.

He starts to set up the game again.

Jest like an ol' man. Plays
checkers all the time and doesn't
pay any attention to his poor
lonely wife.

She ruffles his hair again.

Cut it out now, honey. I'm gonna
teach this boy a lesson he'll never

Camera cuts to BONNIE, watching with disgust. Then slowly,
a wicked little smile edges across her face. She watches
for a moment more, then she rises and with the most ingenuous
look she can muster up, beckons to CLYDE to follow her into
the bedroom. A little puzzled, CLYDE follows.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang settles into a new residence, while Buck and C.W. play checkers and Blanche admires the Frigidaire. Bonnie and Clyde share a moment of intimacy before she lures him into the bedroom.
Strengths "The scene offers a light-hearted respite before more serious events unfold. The dynamic between characters is charming and playful."
Weaknesses "The scene does not have high stakes or conflict, which may make it forgettable in the grand scheme of the story."
Critique Overall, the scene effectively establishes the characters and their new living situation. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue could be more naturalistic. Some of the lines, particularly Buck's grocery order on the phone, feel clunky and stilted. It would be helpful to read the dialogue out loud to see where it could be improved.

Secondly, the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. While the dialogue establishes the characters' excitement and enthusiasm for their new home, it would be more engaging for the audience to see the characters exploring the space and interacting with their new surroundings.

Finally, the scene could use more conflict or tension to keep the audience engaged. As it stands, the scene is mostly exposition and establishing character dynamics. Adding some conflict or tension, whether through a disagreement or a moment of suspense, would make the scene more engaging for the audience.

Overall, the scene has potential but could use some refinement in dialogue, visual storytelling, and creating conflict or tension.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Establish the location and time of day in the first sentence: Instead of just saying "EXT. GARAGE APARTMENT. DAY.", you could add more detail to paint a clearer picture for the audience. For example, "On a sunny afternoon in Joplin, Missouri, the camera pans to a garage apartment above a double garage on a quiet residential street."

2. Show instead of telling: Rather than having Buck verbally explain that he paid the rent in advance and they're ready to move in, you could show him handing the keys to Clyde and gesturing for him to pull the car into the driveway. This would add some visual interest to the scene.

3. Cut down on the dialogue: There is a lot of dialogue in this scene that doesn't necessarily move the story forward or reveal much about the characters. Consider trimming some of the lines to make the scene more concise and impactful.

4. Increase the tension: The scene could benefit from some heightened tension or conflict. Maybe there's a neighbor who is suspicious of the new tenants and keeps peeking out their window, or Buck and C.W. have a disagreement about where to put a piece of furniture. Adding some obstacles for the characters to overcome would make the scene more interesting.

5. Add some physical action: Rather than just having the characters sit around and talk, consider adding some movement or physical action. For example, while Buck is on the phone ordering groceries, Blanche could be exploring the apartment and discovering new things. Or while Buck and C.W. are playing checkers, Bonnie and Clyde could be engaging in some light-hearted flirting or playful banter. Adding some physical action would make the scene more dynamic and engaging for the audience.

Scene 16 -  Intimacy in the Bedroom
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

BONNIE closes the door and immediately begins fussing with
CLYDE's hair, doing a scathing imitation of BLANCHE. Though
her miming expresses her irritation at being closeted with
the Barrow menage, it is also a peach doing an imitation of
a lemon--and it is disarmingly sensual... Indeed the mimicry
allows BONNIE to be physically freer with CLYDE, and allows
CLYDE to respond without anxiety, without self-consciousness.
We should have the distinct--if momentary--feeling that
CLYDE could suddenly make it with BONNIE.


(doing an unmerciful imitation)
Oh, Daddy, you shore need a haircut.
You look just like a little old
hillbilly boy, I do declare.
(she has her other
hand toying with the
buttons on his shirt,
her hand slipping
under, fluttering
across his bare chest)
Oh mercy me, oh my stars!

CLYDE laughs, and BONNIE tugs at the shirt--she kneels on
the bed over CLYDE, who quite easily drapes across it.

(a little louder)
Oh, Daddy! Yore such a slowpoke!

She's letting her hair fall loose, its golden ends brushing
up and down CLYDE's body.

(amused, but cautionary)
Hush up a little. They're in the
next room.

(a mock-pout, but
with an edge to it)
Shoot, there's always somebody in
this room, the next room and ever'
other kind of room.

CLYDE has his arm around BONNIE, and she's almost draped
across him--but in the direction of the length of the bed,
so their bodies almost form a crooked cross. She digs an
elbow into his stomach.

Oof! that ain't no nice way
to talk about my brother.

(imitating Blanche
again with baby talk)
I ain't talking about your brother.

Suddenly BONNIE straightens up to a kneeling position again,
and cocks her head. When she speaks now it is with a simple


Honey, do you ever just want to be
alone with Me?
(sensing Clyde's
sensitivity to the
sexual implication)
I don't just mean like that...I
mean do you ever have the notion of
us bein' out together and alone,
like at some fancy ball, or, I
don't know, where we walk in all
dressed and they announce us and
it's fancy and in public, but we're
alone somehow. We're separate from
everybody else, and they know it.

CLYDE looks up to BONNIE, affectionately. He runs his hand
carelessly down her body.

I always feel like we're separate
from everybody else.

(it's terribly
important to her)
Do you, baby?

Suddenly there is a ring at the door. BONNIE and CLYDE


BONNIE and CLYDE run out into the living room, camera going
with them.

(to all)
Quiet! I'll get it.

BONNIE goes down the stairs and reaches the front door.

Who is it?

Groceries, M'am.


She opens the door. A young man is there with the two big
sacks of groceries.


How much?

Six dollars and forty-three cents.

BONNIE pays him and goes to take the bags from him.

Here, M'am, them bags is heavy.
Let me carry 'em up for you.

No thanks, I'll take 'em.

She takes the heavy bags and hefts them up and turns and
walks up the stairs. They are obviously very heavy for her.
Closeup the delivery boy's face, looking puzzled at this
behavior. BONNIE reaches the top steps, and voices are heard.

What was it?

Quiet. Open the door.

C'mon, c'mon...

Close-up. The DELIVERY BOY. A look of suspicion comes
across his face.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde share an intimate moment in the bedroom, where Bonnie does a mocking imitation of Blanche. They discuss wanting to be alone together before being interrupted by a delivery boy.
Strengths "The intimacy between Bonnie and Clyde creates a strong emotional connection between the characters. The dialogue is layered and provides insight into their thoughts and feelings. "
Weaknesses "The interruption of the delivery boy feels like a forced plot device and slows the pace of the scene. The potential conflict between Bonnie and the delivery boy is not fully realized."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene does well in building the relationship between Bonnie and Clyde and establishing their desires for intimacy and privacy, as well as setting up potential conflicts and danger with the arrival of the delivery boy. The use of mimicry and physical touch adds a sensual element to the scene and helps convey the characters' emotions. However, the dialogue could benefit from some tightening and more distinct characterization, particularly with the delivery boy's reactions. Additionally, there could be more visual cues to enhance the tension and impending danger of the situation. Overall, this is a solid scene with room for improvement.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions that could improve this scene:

- First, it's unclear what the purpose of the scene is, in terms of advancing the plot or the characters' development. Is it just a moment of intimacy between Bonnie and Clyde? Is there a reason they need to be alone in the bedroom for this conversation? Consider adding some context or significance to the scene.

- The dialogue between Bonnie and Clyde could use some work to make it more realistic and believable. It feels a bit too forced and scripted, especially Bonnie's lengthy monologue about wanting to be alone together. Try to make the dialogue flow more naturally and incorporate more genuine emotions and reactions.

- The description of Bonnie's actions and gestures could benefit from more specificity. For example, instead of "doing an unmerciful imitation" of Blanche, describe what specific mannerisms or vocal affectations she's mimicking. This will help the actors and director bring more nuance to the performance.

- The delivery boy's reaction to Bonnie's behavior could be heightened to create more tension and conflict. Perhaps he notices something suspicious or recognizes Bonnie and Clyde, or confronts them about the robbery they just committed. Adding more stakes to the scene will make it more engaging for the audience.

- Finally, consider whether this scene is necessary at all. It's possible that it could be cut or condensed without affecting the overall story. As a screenwriter, it's important to always be critical of your own work and make sure each scene is serving a clear purpose in the script.

Scene 17 -  Gunfight and Escape
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

Close-up of BONNIE--seated in the living room.

(reading from a pad;
in a recital voice)
It's called "The Ballad of Suicide
(she pauses for
effect; then begins:)
"We each of us have a good alibi
For being down here in the 'joint';
But few of them really are justified
If you get right down to the point.
You've heard of a woman's glory
Being spent on a downright cur'."


You write that all by yourself?

You want to hear this or not?

As she reads, the camera pans around the room picking out
everyone's reaction. CLYDE is looking and listening
seriously. BUCK is grinning. C.W. is blank. BLANCHE is in
the kitchen cooking.

"Still you can't always judge the
As true, being told by her.
Now 'Sal' was a gal of rare beauty,
Though her features were coarse and

Yeah, I knew her. She was cockeyed
and had a hare-lip and no teeth!

BONNIE flashes him a look that could kill. He shuts up fast.
She continues:

"Now 'Sal' was a gal of rare
Though her features were coarse and
She never once faltered from duty
To play on the 'up and up'."

Still listening, CLYDE gets up from his chair and walks
slowly past the living room windows. The camera angled
slightly above him, sees down the street. We see two police
cars quietly pulling up. One of them parks sideways in the
driveway to block escape from the garage, the other stays on
the street. CLYDE turns and looks out the window.

(o.s. as we see out
the window)
"Sal told me this tale on the
Before she was turned out free,
And I'll do my best to relate it
Just as she told it to me--"

(seeing it)
It's the law.


As soon as CLYDE calls out, BLANCHE drops the frying pan on
the floor and begins screaming. Camera cuts back to the
living room. Everyone else leaps into action. Guns begin
blazing from everywhere; we rarely see who is shooting at


The police, down the stairs into the garage--we follow them
with a hand-held camera tracking rapidly.


BLANCHE, however, in utter panic, just runs right out the
front door, and begins running down the quiet residential
street, going nowhere, anywhere.


BUCK, crouching, shooting with one hand, gets the garage
door open. A policeman fires. BUCK fires back and the cop
falls dead in the street. BUCK, firing, dashes to the
police car blocking their escape and releases the hand brake.
CLYDE, BONNIE and C.W. leap into their car, gun the motor,
still shooting madly. Two more police fall dead or wounded.
One policeman is hurled through a fence by the blast of a
sawed-off shotgun. BUCK jumps into the car with the others.
They now begin to bump the police car with their car. The
police car picks up speed as they push it and it tears into
the street right at the group of firing police. The gang's
car turns into the street toward the running BLANCHE.
BONNIE and CLYDE are in front; BUCK and C.W. in the back
seat firing back at police. The car pulls alongside the
wildly running BLANCHE; the back door is flung open and in
almost the style of a cartoon, two hands reach out and lift
her off her feet and pull her into the car. They speed away.



The inside of the car, still speeding. BLANCHE is hysterical.
C.W. is still firing out the window. The pursuing police
car's driver is shot and the car crashes into a tree. The
gang is not being pursued now, but CLYDE is driving at 90.
BLANCHE is moaning and crying. BONNIE, in front, turns
around furiously.

Dammit, you almost got us killed!


What did I do wrong? I s'pose
you'd be happier if I got shot.

(at her bitchiest)
Yeah, it would of saved us all a
lot of trouble.

Buck, don't let that woman talk to
me like that!

(caught in the middle
of a bad situation,
knowing Blanche is
wrong, but trying to
soothe her)
You shouldn't have done it, Blanche.
(quietly, cont.)
It was a dumb thing to do.

(switching tactics)
Please, Buck, I didn't marry you to
see you shot up! Please, let's go!
Let's get out of here and leave.
Make him stop the car and let us out!

(still quietly)
Can't. I killed a man. We're in
this now.

(loud and shrill)
Please! Please!

Shut up! Just shut up your big
mouth! At least do that, will ya,
just shut up.

Cut it out, Bonnie.

BONNIE is affronted. BLANCHE continues sobbing.

Stop the car. I want to talk to you.


Without a word, CLYDE stops the car.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang is caught off guard by the arrival of the police as Bonnie is reading a poem. Guns blaze from everywhere, and they shoot their way out before getting into their car. They bump the police car with their car, push it into the street toward the firing police, and turn into the street toward the running Blanche. Buck and C.W. are firing back at police from the backseat as the car pulls alongside the running Blanche; they lift her off her feet and pull her into the car. They speed away with the police in pursuit. The police car's driver is shot, and the car crashes into a tree. The gang is not being pursued now, but Clyde is driving at 90. Blanche is hysterical. C.W. is still firing out the window.
Strengths "The strengths of the scene include the high stakes and tension that build throughout the action sequence. The scene is well-placed in the story and moves the plot forward in a significant way."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is mostly functional and lacks depth. Some of the character motivations and interrelationships could have been better developed."
Critique The scene is well-written and constructed with tension from the beginning. The use of dialogue, camera angles, and action create a fast-paced and dramatic sequence, with a sense of danger and urgency. The dialogue is natural and character-driven, especially the interaction between Bonnie, Buck, and Blanche, which reveals their relationships and motivations. The use of the camera to show the police cars arriving adds to the intensity of the scene. However, some parts of the action are unclear, making it difficult to follow who is shooting at whom. Overall, the scene is effective in building momentum and capturing the chaotic nature of the situation.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

- Consider adding more description to the characters and their actions. What expressions are they making? What gestures are they using? Showing these details will make the scene more vivid and engaging to the audience.
- Instead of panning around the room to show everyone's reactions to Bonnie's reading, consider focusing on one or two characters at a time, depending on who is most important to the scene and what they are feeling at that moment.
- The shootout scene could benefit from clearer blocking and choreography. How are the characters positioned in the apartment, and where are the police coming from? How do the characters move and fire their guns? Fleshing out these details will make the action more coherent and exciting.
- Consider adding some more dialogue to the beginning of the scene to establish the characters and their relationships. For example, Buck could tease Bonnie about her writing before she starts reading.
- The scene could also benefit from clearer stakes and motivations. Why are the police after the gang, and what are the consequences of getting caught? What is everyone fighting for, and why do they care about Blanche's safety? Clarifying these elements will make the scene more emotionally resonant and engaging to the audience.
- Finally, consider tweaking the dialogue and character interactions to make them more dynamic and interesting. For example, Bonnie could have a more heated argument with Buck or Blanche, or the characters could express their emotions more vividly through their words and actions. These changes will make the scene more memorable and compelling.

Scene 18 -  Argument and News
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9

BONNIE and CLYDE get out and walk fifteen feet away from the
car. Both are irritated and touchy. Camera follows them.

What is it?

Get rid of her.

Can't do that. She's Buck's wife.
(snapping her words)
Get rid of both of them then.

Why? What's the matter with you

She's what's the matter with me, a
damn stupid back country hick
without a brain in her head.
She ain't nothin' but prunes and

(really pissed-off at Bonnie)
What makes you any better? What
makes you so damn special? You're
just a West Dallas waitress who
spent half your time pickin' up
truck drivers!

This hits home with BONNIE. He has said the unforgivable.

(raising her voice)
You talk to me like that! Big
Clyde Barrow, just the same as your
brother, an ignorant uneducated
(with deadly archness)
Only special thing about you is
your peculiar ideas about
lovemakin'--which is no love makin'
at all.


CLYDE stiffens. The two of them stand silent and tense,
almost quivering with anger. They have stripped each other
raw. CLYDE turns and looks back at the car. Everyone is
waiting, watching them. He breathes a deep sigh, like a man
counting to 10 to hold his temper.

Look, Bonnie--

He can't finish.
Close. BONNIE. She drops her head into her hand for a
moment, comes up a little more relaxed. She looks at CLYDE
and her eyes reflect the realization of the pain she has
inflicted on him. She softens.

Clyde...honey...I didn't mean all
that, honey. Blame it on all that
shootin', I just felt so bad...sure

Okay...Okay, hon...let's get

He turns and begins walking back to the car. BONNIE walks
alongside him. On the few steps back, she regains all her
dignity and acts aloof from the others waiting for her. She
reaches the car. CLYDE opens her door for her and she gets
in like a great lady. He walks around to his side, gets in,
and they drive off.


A very wide shot. We see CLYDE's car driving along a wooded
road. For a moment that is all we see, then we should
become aware that far in the distance another car is
following CLYDE's.

Close. Rural mail box. On the opposite side of the road,
CLYDE's car swings across the road and CLYDE, who is driving,
snatches a newspaper which protrudes from the box and hands
it into the car. They drive out of the shot. Camera holds
and soon the following car enters the shot. The man driving
is a Texas ranger. He drives slowly. He drives out of the


BUCK is reading from the paper.


Hey, y'all, listen to this here:
Law enforcement officers throughout
the Southwest are frankly amazed at
the way in which will-of-the-wisp
bandit Clyde Barrow and his yellow-
haired companion, Bonnie Parker,
continue to elude their would-be
captors. Since engaging the police
in a gun battle on the streets of
Joplin Missouri and slaying three
of their number...

Oh, Lord...

We notice CLYDE is wincing.

...the Barrow gang has been reported
as far West as White City, New
Mexico, and as far north as Chicago.
They have been credited with
robbing the Mesquite Bank in the
aforementioned White City, the J.J.
Landry Oil Refinery in Arp, Texas,
the Sanger City National Bank in
Denton, Texas on three different
occasions. In addition to these
robberies, the fast travelling
Barrows have been rumored to have
had a hand in the robbing of two
Piggly Wiggly stores in Texas, and
one A&P store in Missouri, though
Chief Percy Hammond, who first
identified Clyde Barrow's brother,
Buck, as a member of the gang,
expressed some doubt that these
last robberies were committed by
the Barrow Gang alone.

Go on.

Clyde, we ain't goin' to see a
restroom for another thirty miles.
Why don't you just stop here?

CLYDE looks relieved.



He pulls the car to a stop, gets out and goes off into the
woods. We watch him vanish behind the trees.


BUCK still scanning the newspaper.

(with a laugh)
Hey now, here's something! Listen
here: Lone Cop Arrests Two Officers
In Hunt For Barrow. Police Officer
Howard Anderson's heart turned
faster than his motorcycle when he
forced to the side of the road a
roaring black V-8 sedan in which
were three men and a blondheaded
woman yesterday afternoon.

Everybody laughs. As BUCK continues to read, his voice
remaining on the soundtrack.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde argue over Blanche's presence, which quickly escalates into a tense and hurtful exchange. They then discuss recent newspaper articles about their criminal activities as they drive through the woods. Clyde stops the car for a restroom break, and Buck reads a humorous article about a lone cop arresting two officers in the hunt for them.
Strengths "The scene effectively highlights the strained relationship between Bonnie and Clyde, and the constant danger they face as they continue their crime spree. The dialogue is sharp and tense, revealing the characters' motivations and emotions."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel slow compared to the action that precedes and follows it. The news articles segment may feel somewhat repetitive."
Critique Overall, the scene has strong character development and tension between Bonnie and Clyde. The dialogue feels raw and real, reflecting their frustrations and vulnerabilities. However, there are a few areas where the scene can be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext and nuance. While Bonnie and Clyde are clearly angry with each other, some of their lines feel too on-the-nose and could benefit from being more subtle. For example, when Bonnie says, "Get rid of her," instead of immediately responding with "Can't do that," Clyde could pause or show some hesitation before responding, hinting at underlying conflict.

Additionally, the scene could use more visual description, especially during the intense moment of their argument. While the camera follows them and they stand "silent and tense," more detail on how they physically react to each other and their surroundings could heighten the impact of their emotions.

Finally, the scene could benefit from a stronger sense of pacing and structure. The shift from their argument to Buck reading the newspaper feels sudden and disjointed. Finding a more natural transition between these two moments could make the scene feel more cohesive and impactful.

Overall, while the scene has strong character development and tension, refining the dialogue, visual description, and structure could make it even more effective.
Suggestions Overall, the scene could benefit from some tightening up in the dialogue to make it more impactful. Here are some specific suggestions:

- Consider cutting some of the unnecessary descriptions and stage directions, such as "Camera follows them" and "Camera holds." These are things that can be communicated through the actors' performances.
- Find ways to amp up the tension between Bonnie and Clyde earlier in the scene, so that her insult to him feels like the culmination of something that has been building. Right now, the escalation feels somewhat sudden.
- Consider trimming some of the back-and-forth dialogue between the characters to make it more punchy and memorable. For example, you might turn Bonnie's insult about Clyde's sexual prowess into a shorter, more pointed quip. Similarly, you could find a way to rephrase Buck's news reading so that it feels more immediate and impactful for the characters.
- Look for opportunities to show, rather than tell, the dynamics between the characters. For instance, you could cut back to Blanche's reaction shots more frequently to underscore her discomfort. Or, you could have Bonnie and Clyde engage in some physical action that conveys their agitation, like pacing or fidgeting with their hands.

Scene 19 - 
  • Overall: 0.0
  • Concept: 0
  • Plot: 0
  • Characters: 0
  • Dialogue: 0

The camera goes outside the car and pulls back, way back, to
reveal a police car quietly driving up behind the car. The
car stops a good distance away and one man gets out, the
only occupant of the car. He is tall, dressed in the
uniform of the Texas Ranger. He draws his gun and slowly
approaches the car from the rear. On the soundtrack BUCK's
voice continues; as we see all this taking place.

When he saw several machine guns in
the car he was certain he'd caught
Clyde Barrow, Bonnie Parker, and
maybe Buck Barrow and the third
unidentified member of the gang.
It took a lot of telephoning and
explaining to convince the
motorcycle cop that his captives
were two highway patrolmen and a
blonde-haired stenographer from the
Highway Patrol--. Haw! Haw!
(everybody busts up
with laughter)

In the meantime, on screen, the lawman is slowly approaching
the back of the car. Suddenly, cut to shot of CLYDE coming
out of the woods, behind the lawman. His gun is tucked in
his pants. In a second, he sees what is happening.

BUCK's voice is continuing:

Anderson was held up as an example
for every other Texas peace officer
today. "That was a mighty brave
thing," explained Highway Patrol
Chief L.C. Winston.

CLYDE whips out his gun. The following scene is played
exactly like a classic fast-draw in an heroic Western.


BRYCE spins around. Both men fire instanteously, but CLYDE
has the draw on him, and the aim. The gun goes flying from
the SHERIFF's hand. A really razzle-dazzle display of
grandstand marksmanship from Clyde.

Immediately the gang leaps from the car and surrounds the
man, guns drawn.

Boy! What a shot, Clyde!

Sweet Jesus, I never seen shootin'
like that!

The gang grabs the man and takes his handcuffs from his belt.
CLYDE makes him lean on the car's hood, arms extended, legs
spread, while he frisks him. In general, everyone is
excited over the capture. BONNIE takes the sheriff's gun
and delicately places it on the radiator grill like an
object d'art.

(examining the man's
wallet, really surprised)
Well, now, getta load of this. I
want y'all to know we are in the
custody of Cap'n Frank Bryce, and
Frank here is a Texas Ranger.

Rev. angle across hood--so BRYCE's face, not visible to
CLYDE or anyone else behind him, is in foreground. His
gnarled, powerful hands tremble slightly on the hood, as tho
they might crinkle the metal like so much tissue paper. His
eyes stare toward camera relentlessly, unblinking, but
without passion. They are shark's eyes. They have witnessed
much carnage, devoured it, and are still wide open for more.


Sure 'nough, Clyde?

Say there, peacemaker. I believe
you got your spurs all tangled up.
You're in Missouri, you know that?

CLYDE has been going thru the man's credentials. Not so

You didn't know you was in Missouri?

He's lost, this here Texas Ranger.

CLYDE claps BRYCE's hands behind his back, handcuffs him,
spins him around.

(a little pissed)
--he ain't lost...them banks are
offerin' extra reward money fer us,
and Frank figured on easy pickin's,
didn't you?
(he suddenly knocks
Bryce's hat off)
Didn't you?

BRYCE flinches involuntarily. BUCK suddenly grows wary at
CLYDE's mood. CLYDE leans into BRYCE, looking up.

--Now you ain't hardly doin' your
job, Texas Ranger. You oughta be
home lookin' after the rights of
poor folks, not out chasin' after us.

He suddenly hefts BRYCE's huge bulk onto the fender.

(trying to be casual)
Easy there, Clyde. Why take is so
(to Bryce)
Reg'lar laws is one thing. But
this here bounty hunting, we got to
discourage that.

BLANCHE looks very uncomfortable. She starts to say
something, but BUCK intervenes.


Like how, Clyde?--

A tense moment. CLYDE can't think of anything right away.

(trying to be helpful)
Shoot him.

BONNIE shoots C.W. an angry glance--it's just what the gang
doesn't want.

(trying again)
...hang him?...

Reaction--BONNIE carefully gauging the moment to intervene.

--uh-uh. Take his picture.

CLYDE's not sure he's heard right. Neither is C.W.

Take his picture?

(pointedly ignoring
C.W., brightly)
Then we'll let the newspapers have
it--so's everyone can see Captain
Frank Bryce of the Texas Rangers
with the Barrow gang--
(moving demurely to Bryce)
--and all bein' just as friendly as

possibilities immediately)
...yeah, yeah...

(continuing right on,
coyly picking up
Bryce's gun from grill)
--why we 'bout the friendliest
folks in the world. Texas Ranger
waves his big ol' gun at us, and we
just welcome him like he's one of
our own.


(grinning widely)
Buck, get the Kodak!

(relieved and excited)
Hot dog!

(to Bryce)
We're mighty proud to have a Texas
Ranger in the family.

BRYCE is obviously not pleased with this turn of events.
Following dialogue is overlapped, ad-libbed, etc. A sense
of mounting glee at the kind of vengeance they are going to

New angle. BUCK is fiddling with the camera, setting up the
shot with CLYDE. BUCK's following speech should be heard,
b.g., to CLYDE's speech below it.

...keep him set on the hood,
there...more to the sun, like
that...yeah...when all his ranger
friends see this...I bet he's gonna
wish he was dead!

(to Bryce)
...see what come o' your
mischief?...not doin' your job?
Down in Duncanville last year poor
farmers kepts the laws away from us
with shot're s'posed to
be protectin' them from us, and
they're protectin' us from you.
--don't make sense, do it?

C'mon, now, Clyde, you and Bonnie
first. Move into him, right close,
right friendly.

All righty
(to Bryce, whose
hands are tied,
hemmed in by them both)
Don't move, now, hear?


CLYDE grandly puts an arm on BRYCE's shoulder, BONNIE,
looking up admiringly from the other side. BUCK takes the
picture. BONNIE immediately hops onto the hood, next to

How's this? "Captain Bryce and new
found friend."

She coyly loosens his tie, tousles his hair, and plants a
big kiss on him while still ogling camera.

...yeah, yeah...quick, Buck, get

...I'm gettin' it, I'm gettin' it.

Quite suddenly BRYCE, whose simmering intensity we should be
more sensitive to than the gang is, spits on Bonnie. BONNIE
half-screams in disgust, but CLYDE is on top of BRYCE in a
flash, half-strangling on his own fury. He pulls BRYCE off
the fender by the handcuffs, spinning him around crazily
like a lasso. BRYCE is literally ricocheted off the car by
the force, and, with CLYDE hanging on by the cuffs, plummets
down the embankment to the sandy beach below, both men
falling, spinning. BRYCE rises shakily. He tries to walk
away. CLYDE grabs him again by the handcuffs and hurls him
out into the water. BRYCE smacks into a tree stump poking
out of the shallows and goes down. CLYDE is on top of him.
Meanwhile, BUCK has rushed down into the water, tries to
pull CLYDE off BRYCE.

I got the picture. I got the

Lemme be, lemme be...

BRYCE reaches the surface and CLYDE tries to throw him into
deeper water. He hitches BRYCE over a moldy skiff, knocking
aside one of the oars. BUCK upends BRYCE into the skiff and
kicks it spinning. CLYDE picks up an oar and hurls it like
a boomerang, ass over end at the skiff. It kicks up a spray.

(holding tightly to
Clyde, yelling)
I got the PICTURE!


Reaction. CLYDE waist deep, breathing heavily.

...All right, all right...
(to Bryce, yelling)

BRYCE, battered and handcuffed, stares back with mindless
malice from the lazily spinning skiff to the hysterical
spectre of CLYDE, screaming his madness across the water.

Genres: null

Strengths null
Weaknesses null
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The visual descriptions are clear and effectively set up the tension of the moment. The use of Buck's voiceover adds an extra layer of storytelling and commentary to what is happening on screen.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. The dialogue, while generally effective, could benefit from some trimming and tightening. Some lines feel repetitive and could be condensed or eliminated altogether. Additionally, some of the ad-libbed dialogue towards the end of the scene feels forced and less natural than the earlier exchanges.

Overall, this scene effectively builds suspense and sets up the conflict between the gang and their law enforcement counterparts. With a few minor adjustments to the dialogue, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions The scene feels a bit chaotic and disorganized, with too many characters and action happening all at once. To improve it, try simplifying and streamlining the sequence of events. One approach would be to focus on the tension between Clyde and Bryce, building up to the moment where Clyde snaps and attacks him. You could also play up the contrast between Bonnie's flirtatious behavior and the violent revenge enacted on Bryce. Finally, consider trimming some of the extraneous dialogue and action to make the scene more focused and impactful.

Scene 20 -  Successful Bank Robbery
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

Inside the bank. In contrast to the previous inept bank
robbery scene, this one goes admirably well, the gang
performing slickly and without a hitch. As they enter,
dripping wet, CLYDE makes a general announcement to everyone
to the bank.

This is the Barrow gang.
(the people turn and freeze)
Everybody just take it easy and
nobody will get hurt.

CLYDE covers the door. BONNIE and BUCK go to the tellers'
cages and get money. BUCK goes inside, emptying out the
cash drawers. Cut to BONNIE filling the sack.

Cut to a close-up of a burglar alarm button. Slowly a hand
crawls up the wall and a finger slowly moves to push the
button. When the finger is about one inch away, suddenly a
gun appears in the frame and gently taps the hand away. The
camera pulls back to reveal BUCK smiling at a lady teller.

Don't do nothin' silly now.

Cut to CLYDE standing near the door, training his guns on
the entire bank. A farmer stands a few feet away, some
bills clutched in his hand.

That your money or the bank's?


Keep it, then.


Across the floor, the bank guard in the corner takes
advantage of CLYDE's distraction to go for his gun. CLYDE
spots it and fires a shot that just knocks the bank guard's
hat off without harming him.

(to the guard, who
has practically
frozen in fear)
Next time I'll aim a little lower.

They finish robbing the bank. They start to exit. Near the
door stands a guard with his hands raised. He wears sun
glasses of the period. As they leave BUCK snatches the sun
glasses from the guard's head.

Get a good look at us! We're the
Barrow boys.

The gang runs wildly into the street where the car waits,
motor running. As they leap into car, BUCK throws the sun
glasses into BLANCHE's lap.

Happy birthday.

They zoom off. Shots are heard. BONNIE, BUCK and CLYDE
begin firing at the bank guards who are pursuing them. The
guards fire back.

Close-up. BLANCHE sitting in the back seat with her fingers
stuck tightly in her ears, eyes shut, trying to overcome her
panic. A funny image, but one that also awakens pity. The
next sequence is carried out in cross-cutting.


The street in front of the bank. Police car pulls up and
the excited crowd gestures in the direction of the departed
gang. The siren starts.



The siren heard now in the far distance.

(to C.W. at the wheel)
Kick it in the pants, C.W.


We got to make that state line!

(driving like a wild
man, but adlibing loudly)
Can't get more'n this out of a



The gang has left a legacy of celebrity behind. We see the
bank guard whose hat was shot off being interviewed by a
reporter. He is seated in a chair, his shirt open at the
collar and a woman teller is fanning him.

(enjoying the limelight)
Then he saw me goin' for my gun.
Clyde Barrow himself, I mean. And
suddenly I was starin' into the
face of death!

Tsk, tsk.

A photographer steps in.

Just look this way, Mr. Hawkins.

The bank guard hurriedly buttons up his collar and smiles as
the flashbulb goes off.



Still speeding along, the siren more distant.



The bank president and a policeman are posing for that
classic picture where both stand flanking a bullet hole in
the wall and point proudly at it. The flashbulb goes off.




Two men in police uniforms following BONNIE and CLYDE.

Step on it, Randolph. We gotta
catch 'em 'fore they reach the
state line!


FARMER is describing BONNIE and CLYDE to passersby who dote
on him as though he'd just had contact with a portion of the
true cross. FARMER is aware of his position.

Clyde?...he looked like, well he
looked real...clean...and Bonnie,
she's too much a lady ever to be
caught with a cigar in her mouth...I
don't care what you heard before.
I saw 'em right here, not twenty
minutes ago...
--and all's I can say is, they did
right by me, and I'm bringin' me a
mess of flowers to their funeral.



Car slows up perceptibly as CLYDE says:

Okay, relax. We're in Oklahoma now.
Slow down.

Genres: ["Crime","Action","Drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang performs a successful bank robbery, fends off pursuers, and makes their escape.
Strengths "Strong pacing and tension."
Weaknesses "Dialogue is not particularly memorable."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and moves the story forward effectively. There are a few things that could be improved, however.

First, the opening sentence could be more impactful. Rather than simply saying "Inside the bank," the writer could add some descriptive language to set the scene. For example, "The dimly lit interior of the bank is filled with nervous customers and employees."

Second, the action in the bank is described in a relatively flat manner. It would be more engaging to see the characters' personalities and emotions come through in their actions and dialogue. For example, showing the teller's fear or the farmer's hesitation to give up his money would add depth to the scene.

Third, the cross-cutting between different locations could be clearer. Adding subtitles or clearer transitions would help the audience keep track of the different events happening simultaneously.

Overall, this scene is functional but could benefit from more attention to detail and character development in the action.
Suggestions The scene has good tension and stakes, but here are some suggestions to make it stronger:

1. Work on character development: Instead of having the characters just perform the robbery, try to explore their personalities and motives. Why are they robbing the bank in the first place? What are their relationships like? Give them some memorable lines or actions to show their distinct personalities.

2. Consider adding obstacles or complications: The robbery goes too smoothly and there are no unexpected surprises that challenge the characters. Try to come up with obstacles or setbacks that the gang must overcome to make the scene more interesting.

3. Add a sense of danger: While there are some stakes as the gang is being pursued by police, their actions don't seem to carry real consequences. Consider making it clearer that they are in real danger if they are caught.

4. Use visual storytelling: Instead of just relying on dialogue to tell the story, use visual cues and actions to convey character emotions or plot points. For example, instead of having the farmer describe Bonnie and Clyde's appearance, show them in a memorable way that sticks in the audience's mind.

Overall, it's important to prioritize character development and obstacle creation to keep the audience engaged and invested in the story.

Scene 21 -  Escape and Arguments
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Turn around. Don't waste no more

(a young eager beaver type)
Ain't we gone to catch 'em?


Hell, they're over the State line.
That's out of our jurisdiction.

Why don't we get 'em anyway?

I ain't gone to risk my life in
Oklahoma. That's their problem.



Now the gang's car is seen traveling down a long, narrow
country road surrounded by cornfields.

Genres: ["Action","Crime","Drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang makes a daring escape from a police ambush, picks up Blanche, and continue their escape while arguing over her presence. They discuss recent newspaper articles about their criminal activities and make a pit stop where Buck reads a humorous article about a lone cop arresting two officers in the hunt for them.
Strengths "The intense action scene involving the escape from the police ambush creates high stakes and tension. The argument between Bonnie and Clyde adds relatable human conflict to the scene. The humorous article read by Buck provides a brief moment of levity."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more development of the characters and their relationships, aside from the conflict between Bonnie and Clyde over Blanche. The discussion about newspaper articles feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the scene."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can assess this scene from a technical standpoint.

Overall, this short scene is relatively well-written. The dialogue is snappy and moves the scene along quickly. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, it's not entirely clear what's happening before the dialogue begins. Who is in the police car, and who are they chasing? Adding a line or two of action description to set up the scene would make things clearer.

Secondly, the characterizations of the two police officers could be stronger. Though they have distinct personalities, these are conveyed mainly through dialogue. Adding a few details of their physical appearance or actions would help flesh out their characters.

Finally, the transition to the next shot is jarring. The sudden jump to the gang's car without any transition or indication of the change in location is disorienting. A simple establishing shot of the cops driving away or cutting to a different angle of the same location before transitioning to the next shot would smooth out the jump.

Overall, this scene has potential but could benefit from a bit more attention to detail.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Establish the stakes. The scene doesn't give us a clear sense of what's at stake here. Are the police trying to catch a dangerous criminal? Are they trying to apprehend someone who's committed a minor offense? Adding some context will help us understand why the police are pursuing the gang in the first place, and why they may or may not be willing to go to great lengths to catch them.

2. Develop the characters. We don't know anything about the two policemen other than their basic motivations. Adding some backstory or personality traits to each character will make the scene more engaging and interesting to watch.

3. Heighten the tension. The scene feels a bit flat and anticlimactic. As the gang's car travels down the country road, consider adding obstacles or complications that make it more difficult for them to escape. Maybe the car breaks down or runs out of gas, or maybe they encounter a roadblock or other obstacle.

4. Use the setting to create atmosphere. The cornfields in the background of the shot could be used to create a sense of isolation and claustrophobia. Perhaps the gang feels trapped and vulnerable as they drive through the narrow road surrounded by tall cornstalks.

5. Tie the scene into the larger story. As scene 21 out of 44, this scene should feel like it's building towards something bigger. Consider how it fits into the overall narrative of the script, and how it sets up future conflicts and resolutions.

Scene 22 -  The Argument and The Split
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

They get out, taking the various bags of money with them,
and dump the lot on the hood. There is not an impressive
amount of money.

Hell. That ain't much, is it?

Times is hard,

Well, let's get to it.

He begins dealing and splitting the money out on the hood of
the car, as they gather around.

This is Clyde Barrow.
(lays down a bill)
Buck Barrow...
(lays down a bill)
Bonnie Parker...C.W.
(goes back to the
first again and lays
out another round)
Clyde, Buck...Bonnie...C.W. Clyde,
Clyde again...Buck...Bonnie...C.W.

BUCK and BLANCHE stand watching. BLANCHE looks fretful.
She nudges BUCK and whispers to him.


BUCK whispers something back to her. Meanwhile, CLYDE's
counting still goes on.

(very ill at east in
this position he has
been forced into)


BUCK is clearly embarrassed.

Uh, Clyde...well...what about

Everyone reacts with stunned amazement at BLANCHE's nerve in
wanting to get her cut.


BLANCHE sees she has to rise to her own defense, and she
rises to the occasion with spirit and verve.

Well, why not? Say I earned my
share! Same as everybody. I
coulda got killed same as everybody,
and I'm wanted by the law same as
everybody. Besides I coulda got
snake bit sleepin' in them woods
every night!
(building it up)
I'm just a nervous wreck and that's
the truth. And I have to listen to
sass from Miss Bonnie Parker all
the time. I deserve mine!

Close. BUCK. Day--looking at CLYDE, his face full of weak
smiles and embarrassment at his wife.

(with a sigh)
Okay...okay...hold your horses,
Blanche. You'll get your share.

BONNIE is livid but says nothing. CLYDE, the leader has
decided. C.W. looks indignant, like a hog who's just been
given a bath. CLYDE begins counting all over again in near

Married a preacher's daughter and
she still thinks she's takin' the

Everyone now laughs, but BLANCHE. CLYDE continues counting.

(to Blanche)
Well, don't spend it all in one
place now, hear?

She'll be doin' right well to spend
it at all.

BONNIE turns and ambles away from the car. After a moment
CLYDE stops counting and moves after her. He's prepared for
a fight, stands behind BONNIE's arched back trying to gauge
the degree of hostility there.


No answer.

(a little defensive)
Look, Bonnie, I've said it and I
guess I'll keep sayin' it before
we're thru--Blanche is Buck's wife
and Buck is family.

He waits expectantly.

(finally, utterly
without malice)
--she's such a silly-Billy...

BONNIE looks plaintively to CLYDE.

My family could use some of that

Them laws have been hangin' round
your mamas house 'til all hours,
Bonnie. It's just too risky to go

Well, where can we go? We rob the
damn banks, what else do we do?

CLYDE cannot really answer. Suddenly C.W. starts yelling:


CLYDE flinches at the sound. C.W. comes bounding over, as
rude an assault on their sensibilities as he can be.

(wincing as they are
nose to nose)
I hear you, C.W.

This ol' heap's gushin' oil! We
got to swipe us another set of
wheels right away, or we won't get
anywhere. Look here.

He reaches down under the pan of the car and scoops a gooey
handful of slick black oil which he holds before their faces.


CLYDE nods slowly. He looks back to BONNIE. He sees.

Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang performs a successful bank robbery and splits their loot. Blanche argues for her cut. Bonnie is livid, but Clyde ultimately decides to give Blanche her share. The group discusses their next steps and C.W. alerts them to the car's oil leak.
Strengths "Tense argument leading to a decision that affects the group's dynamics and safety, reveals key character traits"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue is a bit on the nose and exposition-heavy"
Critique The scene opens with the gang counting their money on the hood of a car, and the dialogue feels natural and realistic, conveying their disappointment at the paltry amount they've collected. The tension between Buck and Blanche is hinted at when she nudges and whispers to him, and his embarrassment is palpable.

However, the scene loses momentum when Blanche demands her share of the money. While her argument is compelling, the back-and-forth that ensues feels like it drags on too long and becomes repetitive. The scene's energy drops as a result.

The dialogue between Bonnie and Clyde is more successful, as Bonnie's frustration with their situation and need for money is evident. The conflict is clear, but it's not entirely clear what their next move will be, leaving the audience unsure of what to expect.

The arrival of C.W. injects some much-needed urgency and action into the scene, building towards the need for a new car and setting up the gang's next move. The scene ends on a strong note with the slick black oil, creating a sense of danger and uncertainty for what's to come.

Overall, the scene could benefit from some tightening in the middle, but the beginning and end are well-executed and effectively convey the tension, frustration, and uncertainty of the gang's situation.

Scene 23 -  The Chase
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

A residential neighborhood on a suburban street. A rather
well-to-do neighborhood. The camera is up on a porch of a
white frame house, looking toward the street. On the porch,
sitting in the swing in the left f.g. are a MAN and a WOMAN.
She is about twenty-nine, he is about thirty-six. He is
sitting with his back to us, embracing the WOMAN. They are
spooning, making low, loving murmurs.

Oh,, dear...


Mmmm...sweet thing...

We see in the distance two cars parked in front of the house.
His and hers. Suddenly we see another car drive up (BONNIE
and CLYDE) and somebody gets out. Then the whole gang gets
out, ditches the one car and gets in one of the parked cars.
All the while the couple on the porch is busy spooning. The
car begins to roll slowly into the street. The WOMAN notices.

Say, isn't that your car, Eugene?

(still nuzzling her)
(he looks, leaps from
the swing)
That's my car! Hey!

The MAN and WOMAN run down the front steps and front walk to
the second car. They jump in and take off, giving chase.


The WOMAN is driving (it's her car). The MAN is furious.

I'll tear 'em apart! Those punks!
Steal a man's car right out from
under him! Wait till I get my
hands on those kids, Velma, I'll
show 'em!

They continue driving, furious, the man cursing and muttering.
We see through their windshield the other car way in the

What if they have guns, Eugene?

(realizing the
possibility, he
suddenly stops being
mad and turns chicken)
We'd better get the police and let
them handle this.



Turn around and let's get back to
town. We'll go get the sheriff.

They are by now on a narrow dirt road and the WOMAN has to
execute a U-turn. It takes her about seven cuts to turn the
car around in the narrow space. They start back to town.



BUCK looks out the rear window.

They stopped chasin' us. They
turned around.

Close-up. CLYDE grinning mischievously.

Let's take 'em.

BUCK and C.W. laugh appreciatively at the reversal. CLYDE
turns the car around. He performs the U-turn in the same
narrow space in one, swift, smooth, beautiful turn.



VELMA looks in the rear view mirror and sees that now she is
being chased.

Oh, my Lord, they're comin' after us.

(in a panic)
Step on it, Velma, step on it!
Close-up. Accelerator. VELMA jams it down to the floor.
The car speeds.


BONNIE and CLYDE's car gaining on them, gaining on them,
gaining on them and finally overtaking them, coming up and
ahead, forcing them to the side of the road.

Med. shot. The MAN and WOMAN's car. Terrified, they roll
up their windows, lock their doors and huddle together.



The Barrow gang piles out of their car and walks over,
having a merry time. They surround the car and press their
faces against the window, flattening their features, making
menacing gestures at the shaking pair inside. We see this
from the point of view of the MAN and WOMAN inside the car.
CLYDE pulls out a gun, makes as if to shoot, but he is
kidding. They all laugh uproariously, especially BUCK who
is delighted with CLYDE's prank. All of this we see in
pantomime from inside the trapped car.


C'mon, get out! Get out of there,
I said.

They come out, hands held high, shaking with fear. They
have practically turned to jelly.

(ordering them into
the other car)
Get in here.
Genres: ["crime","comedy"]

Summary Buck reads a news article about the Barrow gang's wanted status and Clyde decides to give Blanche her cut of the loot. They make a pit stop where C.W. notices the car's oil leak.
Strengths "The comedic moments provide levity within a tense scene."
Weaknesses "The scene is lacking in character development."
Critique Overall, this scene has a good setup and builds tension well, but there are some areas that could use improvement.

Firstly, the characters are not very well developed. We know their names and ages, but we don't know anything else about them. This makes it difficult to fully invest in their predicament and care about their safety.

Additionally, the dialogue feels stilted and unnatural at times. Some of the lines, such as "Mmmm...sweet thing..." and "Those punks! Steal a man's car right out from under him!" feel cliché and detract from the realism of the scene.

One strength of the scene is the use of visual storytelling. The action is communicated effectively through the characters' movements and the camera angles. However, there could be more attention paid to pacing and building suspense. The chase happens very quickly and doesn't give the audience much time to feel the gravity of the situation.

Overall, this scene could benefit from more fleshed-out characters and natural dialogue, as well as careful attention to pacing and suspense-building.
Suggestions - Consider adding more description to the characters to give them more depth and make them more relatable to the audience.
- Try to add more action to the scene. Perhaps have the couple on the porch witness the gang hiding the car first, or have them follow the gang in their car before being chased.
- Consider adding some dialogue for the gang members to give them more personality and make them more interesting to the audience.
- Think about adding some tension to the scene. Perhaps have the couple try to resist being taken by the gang instead of immediately surrendering.
- Consider making the U-turn scene more dynamic and intense. Perhaps have them almost hit something or have the Barrow gang approaching fast behind them.

Scene 24 -  The Barrows Kidnap Company
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9

They get in and the gang gets in. Seven people are now
jammed inside. CLYDE drives, BONNIE next to him, C.W. next
to her. In back, BLANCHE, then EUGENE with VELMA (of
necessity) sitting on his lap, and then BUCK. As will be
seen, the reason the Barrows have kidnapped the couple is
simply that they wanted company. Living as they do, seeing
only each other day after day, they long for diversion and
new faces. So the atmosphere in the car will shortly change
to one of friendliness and jollity, and it will get
progressively more so in the series of cuts which advance
the time. As the car starts up at the beginning, however,
the MAN and WOMAN are terrified.

What's your name?

I'm Eugene Grizzard.

I'm Velma Davis.


(just as friendly as
he can be)
Well, howdy! We're the Barrow gang.
That there is Clyde drivin' and I'm

The MAN and WOMAN almost faint from fear; clutch at each
other. The gang all laugh at this. VELMA and EUGENE begin
to realize that they are not going to get hurt and that the
Barrows are friendly to them.

Look, don't be scared, folks. It
ain't like you was the law. You're
just folks like us.

(agreeing over-enthusiastically)
Yeah, yeah, that's the truth.

I expect you been readin' about us.

The MAN and the WOMAN answer simultaneously with what they
think is the right thing to say under the circumstances.



They glare at each other.
Yes, Velma, we have too.

(laughing at the contretemps)
Well, you two must be in love, I bet.

EUGENE and VELMA blush, get shy for a second. BONNIE smiles.

(gleefully, clapping
his hands)
Well, when you gonna marry the
girl, boy?

Everyone chuckles heartily.




--still driving, same positions, but some time has elapsed.
The atmosphere is now completely convivial and the captives
are enjoying their new friends. As the scene starts, BUCK
is finishing his joke.

So then she drinks her milk down
again, every drop. And she looks
over at her son and says, "Son,
whatever you do, don't sell that

The couple laughs with great amusement, but everyone else in
the car doesn't laugh--this is the tenth time they've heard
the joke.



--getting on toward evening. All are thoroughly relaxes and

(to Velma)
How old are you, honey?

A sudden look of surprise registers on EUGENE's face.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang kidnaps a couple for company, who are initially terrified but eventually become friends with the gang. They joke around and share stories as they continue their escape.
Strengths "The scene shows a lighter and more human side to the Barrow gang, giving depth to their characters. The dialogue and jokes are well-written, adding humor to the storyline."
Weaknesses "The scene may slow down the pace of the story and may not add much to the overall plot. The stakes are also low, reducing the tension in the scene."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing the tone and relationship dynamic between the gang and the couple they have kidnapped. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the stage direction that simply states "the atmosphere in the car will shortly change to one of friendliness and jollity" is a missed opportunity to show the character's actions that lead to this change. Instead, the description just tells the reader what will happen, rather than showing how it happens.

Additionally, there are several instances of characters speaking over each other or simultaneously, which can be confusing for both the actors and the audience. Rewording these lines to give each character a clear moment to speak would help with clarity and improve the flow of the scene.

Lastly, the joke sequence at the end of the scene seems to go on for too long, and the repetition of the same joke detracts from the overall realism and believability of the situation. It might be more effective to instead focus on smaller moments of interaction between the characters that show their growing camaraderie.

Overall, this scene has potential, but could benefit from some reworking to improve its pacing and clarity.
Suggestions My suggestion would be to add more tension and conflict in the scene to make it more engaging. Perhaps, have the man and woman attempt to escape or resist the gang at first, forcing the gang to use their charm and wit to convince them to stay. This would add a layer of excitement to the scene and heighten the contrast between the initial fear and the eventual conviviality.

Another suggestion would be to add more character development to the gang, especially Clyde and Bonnie, to show their motivations and personalities. This would make the audience more invested in their actions and create a more well-rounded story. Additionally, giving the captives more agency in the scene would make them more than just passive observers, which would make the scene more interesting.

Finally, adding another layer of conflict or tension, such as an external threat or a time constraint, could increase the stakes of the scene and add more drama. Overall, by adding more tension, character development, and conflict, this scene could become a more engaging and memorable part of the movie.

Scene 25 -  The Party in the Car
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8

It is now night. Everyone inside the car is eating.
Apparently they stopped somewhere along the way for food.
In the crowded interior, it is like a party--food is being
passed back and forth, laughter and gaiety, increasing
warmth between the couple and the Barrows. The car has
become a little society on wheels, dashing through the black
night down the highway. Inside there is a small world of
happiness and fun.

BUCK is unpacking the food and passing sandwiches and drinks
around the car.

Now I ordered some French fries,
didn't I?


(passing her some)
Yeah, here you go.

Take it easy on those French fries,
Velma. Ain't that right, Eugene?

(studying his hamburger)
This isn't mine. I ordered mine
well done. Who's got the other

Close-up. C.W. who has already taken a bite of the other one.

Oh, is this supposed to be yours?

He extends the bitten burger out to EUGENE.

Full shot.

That's okay, forget it.
CLYDE laughs at this.

Haw! I sure am havin' a good time!
How 'bout you folks? Ain't you
glad we picked you up?

Hey, maybe y'all ought to join up
with us.

That idea strikes everyone as being very amusing.

Ha! Wouldn't they be surprised
back home to hear that?

Yeah. What would Martha and Bill
say if they heard that?
(she roars with laughter)



Lordy! They'd throw a fit!
(roars with laughter)

What do you do, anyway?

(as his laugh begins
to fade)
I'm an undertaker.

Suddenly everyone freezes. A shudder, as if the cold hand
of death had suddenly touched the occupants of the car. The
atmosphere changes to cold, deadly, fearful silence in
exactly one second. It is a premonition of death for the
Barrows, and they react accordingly, BONNIE especially.
Close-up. BONNIE.

(tautly, in a flat voice)
Get them out of here.


The car brakes to a sudden stop. The rear down is opened,
the MAN and WOMAN flung out into the darkness. The car
drives off into the lonely night.

From this point on, the audience should realize that death
is inevitable for the Barrow gang, that it follows them
always, that it waits anywhere. It is no longer a question
of whether death will come, but when it will.


Moving with CLYDE he tears through the brush, snagging his
clothes, calling BONNIE's name. CLYDE's search is so
desperate here that for a moment we might think he is
fleeing from something rather than looking for something.

In a moment he emerges onto the road. The car, with C.W.
driving, and BUCK and BLANCHE beside him, is patrolling
slowly up ahead of him.

CLYDE spots it and runs toward it. Hold on this angle until
he catches up with it and leaps onto the running board.


Moving shot. Car. Morning. CLYDE, now on the running
board, his head poked into the car, his face apple red and

(breathing heavily)
...see anythin', Buck?

BUCK is shocked at his brother's desperation, but makes no
overt comment on it.

--not yet, boy.

(with an edge of
paranoia, as if the
three of them might
be withholding
something from him)
--and nobody saw her leave, or
heard anythin'
(almost a threat)
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang and their hostages have a jovial party in the car, but the mood changes when they learn that one of the hostages is an undertaker. They abruptly kick the hostages out and it becomes clear that the gang is followed by death everywhere they go.
Strengths "The scene does an excellent job of creating a pervasive sense of fear and tension. The contrast between the initial festive mood and the sudden turn to despair makes the situation all the more tragic."
Weaknesses "There is not much focus on character development or relationships in this scene apart from the fleeting moments of camaraderie in the car."
Critique The scene is well-written, and it effectively builds tension with a sudden shift in tone when Eugene reveals he is an undertaker. This sets up the idea that death is following the Barrow gang.

However, the scene could benefit from more visual description and character development to make it more engaging for the reader. It is primarily focused on dialogue, and more action and description could bring the scene to life. Additionally, the scene could be improved by adding more clear and specific objectives for each character, which would make their interactions more dynamic and meaningful.

Overall, the scene shows promise but could use more attention to detail and a stronger sense of visual storytelling.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is doing a great job of establishing the camaraderie between the gang and their hostages, as well as the tension that follows them. However, there are some things that could be improved:

- The dialogue is a bit on-the-nose when it comes to establishing the idea that death is following the Barrow gang. Instead of having Bonnie say "Get them out of here," which explicitly states what's happening, consider having her react with fear and anxiety in a more subtle way, such as a gasp or a quick look around. The audience will pick up on the tension without being told outright what's happening.

- There is a missed opportunity to explore the characters' emotions more deeply when Eugene reveals he's an undertaker. Instead of having everyone freeze and become fearful, consider having a more complex reaction from the gang, such as Buck making an inappropriate joke to ease the tension, or Clyde becoming introspective and quiet as he contemplates his own mortality.

- There could be more visual description to enhance the sense of place and atmosphere. For example, describing the dark, winding road and the sound of crickets in the woods could add to the tension and create a more immersive experience for the audience.

Scene 26 -  Chasing Bonnie
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

CLYDE gets the point. For the very first time we see CLYDe,
the leader, helpless as he hangs onto the running board.

...Well, where do you think she
could've gone?...Buck?...Buck?

(amazed and a little frightened)
Jesus, I don't know...

CLYDE looks helplessly at his brother, then drops off the
running board and continues on foot, running along, scanning
the fields--the car keeping up beside him as he runs and we
truck before both car and CLYDE.

Angle on car through windshield. Reaction shot. Day. BUCK
turning to BLANCHE, shrugging his shoulders, speechless.

Reverse angle through the windshield. Day--at CLYDE, who
has suddenly seen something begins gesticulating wildly,
almost--from car's POV, a little comically.

There! There! There!


He starts running off into a cornfield.

Another angle--picking up CLYDE as he kicks his way into the
cornfield, knees pumping high, knocking down the stalks. He
stops and picks up the stocking he had spotted, takes it and
moves on.

Still another angle as CLYDE has picked up a freshly beaten
trail through the cornfield. He picks up one of BONNIE's
scarves, now. As he runs on, he clears a knoll and BONNIE,
her yellow hair unmistakable even at this distance, comes
into view. She's far off in the cornfield, stalking off,
looking neither to right nor left, carrying a brown paper
sack that has split, from which she has occasionally lost
clothing. CLYDE screams, "BONNIE." She apparently doesn't

Angle on cornfield. Day. As CLYDE gets closer. BONNIE
herself suddenly breaks into flight, the paper bag splitting
completely, the remaining clothes spilling out. There is a
real chase where they each try to get the advantage. CLYDE
is so exhausted from his run that he has real trouble
cornering her as they maneuver up and down the rows of corn.
Finally CLYDE catches up.

Extreme close-up. BONNIE & CLYDE. Day. As they tumble
into the stalks of corn, mowing them down.

Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

(holding her, kissing
her frantically)
Hey...hey, hey, baby, hey, Bonnie,
hey baby...
(calming her down)
...Hey, hey now...just where did
you think you were goin'?...

BONNIE doesn't answer.

Up angle. POV CLYDE. As he's momentarily distracted by
BUCK's laughter as he's in the cornfield picking up BONNIE's
clothing. CLYDE waves an impatient it's all-right-wave. He
turns back to BONNIE who he still holds tightly.

(still frantic)
--Huh. Bonnie? Where? Where?


I don't know! You're hurting me, I
was just scared is all...and my
mama's been on my mind, and she's
gettin' so old...

BONNIE hesitates, beginning to feel a little foolish now.

Boy, don't ever leave without
sayin' somethin'. You really
scared me, Bonnie.

But I mean it, though. I want to
see my mama. Please, Clyde.

Two shot. BONNIE and CLYDE. Day.

(enormously relieved,
kissing her)
Okay, sweetheart.

Genres: ["crime","drama","comedy"]

Summary Clyde chases Bonnie through a cornfield and catches up to her, both emotionally and physically. Bonnie reveals she wants to see her mother and Clyde agrees to take her.
Strengths "The chase scene adds tension and excitement, while also revealing more about Bonnie and Clyde's relationship."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not as strong as it could be."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written in terms of conveying action and emotion. The description of the characters' movements and reactions is vivid and easy to imagine. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be refined.

Firstly, it may be helpful to provide more context for the scene. Why are Bonnie and Clyde chasing after each other in a cornfield? What led up to this moment? Without this information, the scene may feel disconnected from the larger story.

Additionally, the dialogue could be more specific and impactful. The lines that Clyde and Bonnie exchange are fairly generic and don't reveal much about their characters or their relationship. By adding more depth to their conversation, the scene could become more meaningful and memorable.

Finally, the pacing of the scene could be adjusted to build more tension and suspense. While the action of the chase is well described, it may be helpful to slow down and focus on the characters' emotions at certain points to create a more dynamic contrast between the excitement and the drama.
Suggestions Overall, the scene has good tension and conflict, but it could benefit from some clearer visual storytelling and character development.

1. Start with a clearer introduction of the scene. Who is in the car? Where are they going? Why are they looking for Bonnie?

2. Use more descriptive language to convey emotion and action. For example, instead of "Buck turning to Blanche, shrugging his shoulders, speechless," you could write "Buck's face falls as he turns to Blanche, the gravity of the situation sinking in. He shakes his head, his mouth opening but no words coming out."

3. Develop Bonnie's character more. Why does she want to see her mother? Is there more at stake than just her own personal desires? This will make the audience care more about her and her situation.

4. Consider using different camera angles to vary the visual storytelling. For example, you could have a shot from Bonnie's perspective as she runs through the cornfield, or a close-up of Clyde's exhausted face as he chases her.

5. In the dialogue, give Clyde more nuance. Show him struggling between his love for Bonnie and his need to control her, or his desire to protect her and his fear of losing her. This will add depth to his character and make the scene more compelling.

Overall, these suggestions will help to clarify and deepen the scene, making it more engaging for the audience.

Scene 27 -  Family Reunion
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

--of three or four cars parked on the side of a road in
Texas. A light rain is falling. There are a lot of people
gathered around, but the sound is an indistinct mixture of
talk, laughter, etc.

There follows a quick montage of cuts which isolate specific
moments in the family reunion, thereby implying the entire
tone of the proceedings. The sense of family pervades.

Montage. BONNIE and MOTHER. BONNIE's mother, an old woman,
grabs her and hugs her and cries.

Montage. BONNIE, CLYDE, MAN. A man, an uncle perhaps,
stands with BONNIE and CLYDE, arms around them both, hugging
them to his sides tightly.

Montage. BONNIE and sister. BONNIE's sister hands them a
scrapbook of clippings.

Here you are, we been cuttin' and
pastin' everything we could find
about you in the papers.


CLYDE, BONNIE, BUCK and BLANCHE all look at the scrapbook.
We see a page of it, showing newspaper articles with the
photographs the gang took back at the motel.

Hey look, here's that one I took of
you, Clyde. That came out just fine!
Montage. BONNIE, CLYDE, MAN. BONNIE and CLYDE are posing
for a comic snapshot. A silly looking male relative is
posing, pointing a gun at them. They have their hands in
the air and are grinning broadly. (The effect should be
funny and simultaneously frightening.)

Montage BUCK, SMALL BOY. BUCK is sitting with a little
four-year-old on his knee, bouncing him up and down and
singing. Both are having a fine time.

Oh, Horsey! keep your tail up, keep
yer tail up, keep yer tail up, Oh,
Horsey! keep yer tail up, Why don't
you make it rise.

Montage--C.W. A hand off camera thrusts a sandwich at C.W.
He opens the bread to see what's inside it, then eats it.

Montage--BONNIE & SISTER. BONNIE sits stock-still while her
sister gives her a permanent in the back seat of a car. He
sister pauses, setting down the curling iron. She strokes
BONNIE's yellow head with her hand, as though she were a
wild animal that had paused long enough to be petted.
BONNIE turns to see her sister's expression. They embrace.

Montage--Family picnic--Favoring CLYDE, MOTHER & BONNIE.
CLYDE, in his best theatrical manner has been playing host
in the sand pile, perhaps using some sort of towel across
the arm or around the middle. The party is beginning to
break up now as used paper plates and crumpled napkins are
blowing across the sand and the group is finishing up on
Eskimo pie.

Where y'all headed from here?

(right back)
I don't know, what y'all got in
mind? At this point we ain't
headin' to anywhere, we're just
runnin' from.


CLYDE laughs, in fine spirits.

Reaction--BONNIE. She doesn't.
C'mon, down, Litte Tom! We're
goin' home. Little Tom? Mathew,
fetch Little Tom.

Don't go yet, Mama.

(cutting in)
C'mere, c'mere you little corn

Wide angle. As Uncle sweeps up the laughing little Tom.

Reaction--BONNIE. BONNIE turns with increased urgency to
her MOTHER, who, having been hefted to her feet by BONNIE's
sister, has turned to CLYDE, who gives her a big, boyish hug.

MOTHER know, Clyde, I read about
y'all in the papers and I'm jes'

(to Clyde)
Sugar, make mama stay a while yet.

(ignoring Bonnie, as
does Mother,
ebulliently, even joshing)
Now Mrs. Parker, don't y'all
believe what you read in the papers!
That's the law talking there. They
want us to look big so's they'll
look big when they catch us.

He knows he's stumbled onto the wrong thing, but he bounces
right along--it's his style.

--and they can't do that. Why, I'm
even better at runnin' than robbin'
banks--aw shoot, if we done half
the stuff they said we did, we'd be
millionaires, wouldn't we, old

(he turns to Bonnie
who continues to
stare at her Mother)
And I wouldn't risk Bonnie here
just to make money, uncertain as
times are. Why one time I knowed
of a job where we could of make
$2000 easy, but I saw the law
outside and I said to myself, why
Bonnie could get hurt here. So I
just drove right on and let that
money lay.

He waits for a response, as does BONNIE. BONNIE's MOTHER
smiles, a little abstractedly.

...Maybe you know the way with her,
then. I'm just an old woman and I
don't know nothin...

She trails off, looking nowhere in particular. CLYDE takes
her reaction to mean that he's overwhelming her with his
confidence, and continues to pour it on.

We'll be quittin' this just as soon
as the hard times is over, Mother
Parker, I can tell you that. Why
me and Bonnie were just talkin' the
other day and we talked about when
we'd settle down and get us a home,
and Bonnie said, "I couldn't bear
to live morn'n three miles from my
precious mother." Now how'd you
like that, Mother Parker?

BONNIE's MOTHER has undergone a funny sort of transformation
during CLYDE's speech--as if something had suddenly come
into focus before the old woman's eyes.

Don't believe I would. I surely
(to Bonnie)
You try to live three miles from me
and you won't live long, honey.
(to Clyde)
You'd best keep runnin' and you
know it, Clyde Barrow.
(matter of fact)
Bye, baby.


She hugs BONNIE who can barely respond. We move in for a
closeup of BONNIE as her various relatives, young and old
come by to squeeze, kiss and hug her with a chirpy little
chorus of Bye, Bonnie! Bye, Bonnie, bye, bye, bye.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary The Barrow gang reunites with Bonnie's family and has a heartwarming time, but the underlying tension of their dangerous lifestyle is present. Bonnie and Clyde also try to convince her mother that they will eventually settle down.
Strengths "The heartwarming yet bittersweet reunion is a powerful contrast to the gang's dangerous lifestyle. The dialogue between Bonnie and Clyde and Bonnie's mother adds depth to their characters and motivations."
Weaknesses "The scene doesn't do much to further the overall plot. The stakes and conflict are relatively low."
Critique Overall, this scene seems like a well-written and effective portrayal of a family reunion. The use of montage to show specific moments in the gathering helps to communicate the overall tone and atmosphere without dragging on too long.

However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made. For example, some of the dialogue, particularly from Clyde, feels a bit on-the-nose and exposition-heavy. In particular, the moment where he explains why they didn't take a job that would have made them $2000 feels forced and didactic. It might be more effective to show us their principles in action rather than having Clyde spell it out so explicitly.

Additionally, while it's clear that Bonnie's mother has grown increasingly uncomfortable with the situation, the moment where she finally speaks up and tells them to keep running feels somewhat abrupt and out of character. It might be more effective to build up to this moment more gradually, or to give some hints earlier on that Bonnie's mother is conflicted about their criminal lifestyle.

Overall, though, the scene effectively communicates the sense of family and community that surrounds Bonnie and Clyde, while also setting up some of the tensions and conflicts that will come into play later on in the story.
Suggestions Overall, the scene seems to be well-written and captures the sense of family reunion and the characters' relationships with their loved ones. However, here are some suggestions to improve it:

1. The opening should be more specific and provide a clearer sense of where the characters are and why they are there. Is this a rest stop on their journey? A planned reunion with family members? Setting the context would help the audience better understand the significance of the scene.

2. The montage cuts are a good way to convey the various interactions between the characters and their family members, but they could benefit from tighter, more dynamic editing to keep the pace of the scene moving. Also, some of the moments in the montage are not necessary to advance the story, so consider trimming them to keep the scene's momentum.

3. The dialogue between Clyde and Mother Parker is a good opportunity to reveal more about the characters' motivations, but it feels a little too exposition-heavy. Try to find a way to reveal this information more organically through actions and interactions between the characters.

4. The final line, "Bye, Bonnie!" feels like a bit of a cliché. Consider a more original and character-specific line to end the scene on a higher note.

5. Lastly, adding some visual descriptions to the montage cuts and action lines could help paint a clearer picture of the characters' physicality and surroundings, making the scene more engaging for the audience.

Scene 28 -  Motel Room Tension
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7

Hold on the outside long enough to see the unusual
structures: two little motel cabins connected by two
identical garages, an entirely symmetrical structure.


--as she tries, against heavy odds, to file and trim her
nails in a corner of the room. The odds are; CLYDE on a
uke, b.g., BUCK, and BLANCHE--gathered around C.W. who sits
in the only stuffed chair in the room. Their o.s.
raucousness is clearly shattering to BONNIE who, at a key
moment in the scene, ends up spearing her cuticle with a
file, spurting a little board and a lot of temper.

Other angle. CLYDE--BUCK--BLANCHE--C.W. Day. A naked
lightbulb (the lampshade has been removed) glares down on
C.W.'s chest--where a pair of bluebirds have been tattooed
with a rocco flourish. BUCK and BLANCHE are vastly amused--
rather BLANCHE takes delight in BUCK's delight.

How long have ya had it?

(like some docile
animal submitting to inspection)
--just got it.

(to Blanche, who
stares fascinated as
one of C.W.'s pectoral
muscles contracts and
the wings flutter)
Touch it, honey! Go on!
BLANCHE squeals with amusement. BUCK takes BLANCHE's hand
and places it on the bluebirds.

(titillated with delight)
Oh, no, Daddy! No!

Reaction BONNIE. Day--as the file digs into her cuticle on
BLANCHE's squeal. With barely controlled rage:


What are you all doin'?


(insensitive to
Bonnie's stare)
Playin' with my tattoo, Bonnie.

Well, why don't you all go play
with it somewhere else?

New angle. Motel bedroom. Day.

What's bothering her?

(sees something coming)
Not now, Blanche.

(who doesn't want to
be victimized by
Bonnie's temperament)
What's bothering her, Clyde?

I said go somewhere else!

She picks up the first three objects she can find on the
dresser and hurls them--an ashtray, a Gideon Bible, and a
flower pot--at the little group. The pot goes shattering
into the wall. Everyone ducks.

(straightening up,
Bonnie's hungry, C.W. I saw a
chicken place a few miles back.
Who all wants to go get some food?


(rising from her
chair, a little
shaken at Bonnie's outburst)
I sure do. I'm plenty tired of
sittin' around here anyway.


(not making a move to
get up)
You can't drive, honeylove.

I'll go.

CLYDE makes a face to BONNIE pretending there's something
going on between C.W. and BLANCHE. BONNIE tries to keep
from being amused. C.W. moves out with BLANCHE. BUCK rises
to go next door.

What's everybody want?

Just five chicken dinners, and get
somethin' for dessert.

See if they got peach ice cream.
(he grins and pats
his stomach)

All finally exit, leaving BONNIE and CLYDE alone.


C.W. and BLANCHE go out. We go with them. They get in the
car and drive off. BUCK enters his cabin.
Genres: ["drama","crime"]

Summary The Barrow gang waits in a motel room, with tensions rising between Bonnie and the rest of the group. After Bonnie explodes in anger, the gang heads out to get food, leaving Bonnie and Clyde alone.
Strengths "The tension between Bonnie and the rest of the group is palpable and drives the scene forward. The danger of their lifestyle is hinted at throughout. "
Weaknesses "The scene is rather static and doesn't have a clear sense of purpose. The characters are not well-developed."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the dynamic between the characters. However, there are some areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, the description of the motel's unusual structures could be more vivid and evocative. As it stands, the description is functional but doesn't add much to the scene.

Secondly, some of the characters' actions and reactions could be more clearly motivated. For example, it's not entirely clear why Bonnie is so easily irritated by the others' antics, or why Buck seems so immune to her temper.

Finally, the scene would benefit from a clearer indication of what the characters are feeling and thinking. There are moments where this is achieved (such as when Bonnie tries to hide her amusement at Clyde's joke), but overall the scene could be more emotionally engaging.

Overall, this scene is solid but could be elevated with some additional descriptive language and more nuanced characterizations.
Suggestions 1. Consider adding more descriptive language to set the scene and mood for the audience in the exterior shot of the motel.

2. Enhance the dialogue and actions of Bonnie to better convey her mounting frustration and anger with the group's behavior.

3. Create stronger reactions from the other characters to Bonnie's outburst, to make the scene feel more impactful and tense.

4. Explore more dynamic camera angles or shot compositions to add visual interest to the scene.

Scene 29 -  Intimate Moments
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9

CLYDE reaches her, and for a moment both stare with fanatic
intensity at each other, BONNIE trying desperately to keep a
straight face. They are nose to nose, unblinking. CLYDE
gives her a big raspberry, waggling his fingers in his ears
like a kid. She laughs.

I hate you all.

I hate y'all, too.

no, I really hate you.

She turns away from him, wilts onto the bed.


(eyes brimming)
Oh, baby, I've got the blues so

CLYDE moves behind her, begins to massage her back. There
is something very delicate about the way he touches her; it
suggests CLYDE's sensitivity to her mood rather than any
degree of physical intimacy.

Bonnie? it your mama, what
your mama said?

What mama?...she's just an old
woman now...I have no mama...

BONNIE rolls over on her back, stares up at CLYDE, tears
splaying across her face from the move.

(quietly) funny...I thought when we
first went out, we were really
goin' somewhere...but this is it--
we're just goin', huh?

She has addressed this last directly to CLYDE, but there is
nothing rhetorical about it--it is a real question. CLYDE
doesn't answer for a moment. Then:

Do you care about where we're goin'?

BONNIE clearly finds this hard to say:

Not as long as you care about me.

(quite simply)
Why I love you, sugar.

It's the first time he's said it to her, and BONNIE is
overwhelmed. She wraps her arms around CLYDE's middle, and
snuggles into him, like a child. Neither we nor CLYDE can
see BONNIE's face now, and her voice is muffled by his chest.

--enough to die with me, baby?...
'cause I think that's where we're
goin'...I surely do.


CLYDE is both touched and amused by the plea. He strokes
her head lightly. Really meaning it.




BLANCHE, her tense and agitated self growing increasingly
more so lately, lights a fresh cigarette off the butt of the
one she has been smoking.

You sure smokin' all the time lately.

(quick to take
offense, snaps)
So what?

BLANCHE, sick of it all, drops her head in her hand with a

Oh, God...

C.W. looks at her, finally decides to say something that
occurs to him.

Whyn't you go back home to your papa?

(it's been her dream)
Oh, if I could! If I could just do
that one thing! Oh, there's no
tellin' why this all happened. I
was a preacher's daughter.

When church is your pa affiliated


(much more interested
in talking about herself)
Baptist...oh, and he thought the
world of Buck, my daddy did, even
knowing that Buck was serving time
in jail. He forgave him for that
'cause he paid his debt to society.

We were Disciples of Christ.


The camera remains stationary in this scene, in this position.
A lunch counter sweeps down the center of the screen. We
are at one end of the counter. In the f.g., a DEPUTY sits
drinking coffee, absorbed in his cup. In the b.g., at the
other end of the counter, by the Exit door, BLANCHE and C.W.
are being handed their order by the counterman.

Hey, C.W., I ain't got my money.
Give me some, will you?
The DEPUTY turns his head and looks over there. C.W. opens
his jacket to reach in his pocket for money. As he opens
his coat, his gun is clearly seen tucked in his pants.
Camera zooms in to tight close-up of gun.

Close shot. DEPUTY--his face tense. Sound of door closing
shut, as C.W. and BLANCHE leave.

(to counterman)
Get Sheriff Smoot on the phone.

Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Crime"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde open up about their relationship, while tensions rise within the Barrow gang.
Strengths "Strong character development, emotional depth, and intimate moments."
Weaknesses "Minimal plot advancement and low stakes."
Critique This scene is well written, and the emotional tension is palpable between Bonnie and Clyde. The dialogue flows naturally, and the audience can feel the depth of their connection. The use of physical touch, such as Clyde massaging Bonnie's back, adds intimacy without being explicit. The use of the close-up shot of Clyde's gun is a subtle nod to the danger that they face, and sets up the tension for the next scene. The scene also effectively contrasts the tender moment between Bonnie and Clyde with the growing tension and danger outside, adding to the overall sense of impending danger. Overall, this is a well-crafted scene.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to make the scene more visually interesting. As it is, the characters are mostly just talking and sitting still, which can be boring for the audience. Adding some movement or action could help liven up the scene. Perhaps Clyde could be pacing or fidgeting, or Bonnie could be doing something with her hands. Additionally, the camera could be moved or angled differently to add variety to the shots. Another suggestion would be to develop the characters' emotions and motivations more fully. We don't really know why Bonnie is feeling the way she is and why she is so concerned about their direction. Adding more depth to the characters will make the scene more engaging for the audience.

Scene 30 -  Into the Night
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

On C.W.'s moonlit chest and face, tattooed bluebirds heaving
and occasionally snoring in the night. Behind him the room
is dimly lit by flickering candles that are placed out of
sight on the floor. The shapes in the room--the bed is
gutted and only the box mattress remains--dresser, lamp
shades, etc., are grotesque in the flickering light. O.s.
sounds of BONNIE and CLYDE, BONNIE giggling and CLYDE
whispering something we can't quite hear.

Move across the room toward the gutted bed. Move giggling
from the floor beneath the box mattress--for a moment it
should appear as if something perversely sexual may be going
on between BONNIE and CLYDE.



(a little embarrassed)
Aw Bonnie--


CLYDE's arm wielding a Tommy gun, clears the bed. With the
muzzle, CLYDE knocks the swivel mirror on the dresser
overhead, bringing BONNIE and CLYDE into view.

Closer angle mirror--BONNIE and CLYDE. Night. BONNIE lies
stiff as a statue on the white mattress, impeccably dressed
for her funeral. Candelabras made of empty beer bottles lie
at her head and feet. BONNIE's hands and face are powdered
and painted a waxen white. She wears a garish silk bow in
her hair which it, for this occasion, curled like a little

CLYDE sits up, beer bottle in one hand, Tommy gun in the
other, derby hat cocked--and just a little unsure of the
whole thing. He takes a swig--BONNIE stops him, trying
terribly hard not to change her position.

Lie down now, honey.

I've done enough!

Angle on mirror--BONNIE and CLYDE. Night.

(with patience, to a child)
You have to lie's the
only way we can tell what we'll
look kike together.

She giggles again, more than a little gassed herself. CLYDE
clamps a big cigar between his teeth and abruptly lies down
beside her. CLYDE is both amused and annoyed.

(staring up at
himself talking with
cigar clenched
between his teeth)
Whatta you think?


(it suddenly strikes her)
That's not the right tie!


(rising, weaving a little)
You can't wear polka-dots on an
occasion like this.

Well what--
Stripes. Don't go away now.

She weaves her way over to the dresser, takes a swig from a
bottle there herself, checks her makeup, and returns with
the tie. Holding against his chest to try it out she almost
falls into him. CLYDE steadies her.


She tries to tie it for him, and clearly has trouble with
the knot.

OK, o.k. If we're gonna do this,
at least I can tie it myself. Lie
down before you fall down.


She does, with some play-acting, exaggerated obeisance to
CLYDE's command--reaching up at the last moment like a
zombie and snatching an artificial flower from BLANCHE's hat
which still lies on the dresser. CLYDE lies down now. They
look into the mirror again.



This tickles CLYDE despite himself and he laughs--BONNIE
begins to sing to him--performing for both CLYDe and her own
image in the mirror--like some hoydenish vaudevillian.


During the course of the song she will rise and take CLYDE
with her who finally joins in when they tip-toe over and
begin to serenade C.W.

(to the lugubrious
strains of the Death March)
"Did you ever think when a hearse
went by,
That somebody you or I may die?
They'll wrap you up in a big white
and bury you down just about six
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl
The worms play penuckle on your
Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall
Your face turns green and the pus
runs out.

During this last they have been hovering over C.W.'s
twitching face, like a couple of tipsy ghouls, whisper-
singing into his ears. C.W. finally blinks, doesn't even
bother to look at them.

I'm gonna die if I don't get some
sleep. Quit singing that.

Reaction--BONNIE and CLYDE. Night. They smile, go back and
lie down. Looking at their images:

All right, shut your eyes now.

(playing along with her)
No, you first.

One for the money.

Two for the show.

Three to get ready--

Four to Go.


As they approach four we should feel that somehow when they
shut their eyes, they really will die. They shut them on
GO, and screen goes black.

Ranged across the lawn are six police cars, loaded with
peace officers. Four men come out and, guns drawn, walk
cautiously over to the room on the right--BUCK and BLANCHE's.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde have a heart-to-heart in a dimly lit motel room, while tensions rise among their gangmates. As they dress up in funeral attire, they laugh and sing a morbid song. The scene ends with the police closing in on their location.
Strengths "Strong use of contrast between light and dark imagery. The song they sing is a memorable moment. Tension is skillfully built up."
Weaknesses "Some viewers may find the scene slow-paced. The dialogue may be hard to hear clearly."
Critique Firstly, there seems to be a lack of clear conflict or tension in this scene. While the scene conveys a sense of intimacy between Bonnie and Clyde, there isn't any real sense of what's at stake. It could also benefit from clearer character motivation or desires.

Additionally, there are some awkward or confusing descriptions in the scene, such as "giggling from the floor beneath the box mattress--for a moment it should appear as if something perversely sexual may be going on between BONNIE and CLYDE." We don't really know what this means or why it's important, and it distracts from the main action of the scene.

Furthermore, some of the dialogue can feel disjointed or unclear. For example, when Bonnie urges Clyde to lie down, it's not initially clear why this is important. Additionally, when Bonnie corrects Clyde's tie choice, their exchange feels somewhat stilted and unnatural.

Overall, the scene could benefit from a clearer sense of conflict and character motivation, and more cohesive and understandable dialogue. There are some interesting details and moments, like the song they sing and the imagery of shutting their eyes and potentially dying, but these aren't fully explored or developed.
Suggestions Overall, the scene seems to lack clear direction and purpose. One suggestion would be to focus more on Bonnie and Clyde's feelings towards each other. Show how their twisted love for each other leads to their reckless behavior and ultimately their downfall. Additionally, adding more tension throughout the scene would help keep the audience engaged. This could be accomplished through the use of music, lighting, or dialogue. Lastly, the scene could be shortened by cutting out some of the unnecessary dialogue and focusing on the most important moments.

Scene 31 -  Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 0

There is a knock on the door. They sit bolt upright in bed.
Before BUCK can say anything, BLANCHE puts her hand over his
mouth to shut him up.

(calling out)
The men are on the other side.


The four lawmen, among them the DEPUTY from the cafe, edge
their way across the lawn, past the first garage, past the
second. Before they reach the door of BONNIE and CLYDE's
cabin, the window smashes and there are blasts of gunfire.
One cop is hit and falls, the others run back to the cars
for cover. BONNIE and C.W. are at the window, firing

CLYDE--running into the garage to get the car. They must
escape. All they can do is escape, and all they have is
that one car in the closed garage.

Outside. Two of the lawmen fall to the ground, shot. As
the remaining two run back for cover, we see a blinding
light rolling up in a space between the six cars. It is an
armored truck, with mounted guns and and spotlight, advancing
toward the cabin.

Inside the armored truck. Two men in the seat. Sounds of
gunshots coming from everywhere, piercing light. From
inside the truck, we suddenly see the windshield shattered
from bullets fired by BONNIE and C.W. The driver is hit,
and he slumps over the wheel. His body hits the horn, which
starts blasting and continues throughout the battle. The
other man, quickly, ducks under the dashboard for protection.

Inside the garage. CLYDE standing by the car. He holds the
Browning Automatic. The garage door is shaking from the
impact of bullets, shattering. His gun already firing
(automatic clip) before he gets there. CLYDE in a crouch
runs to the garage door, flings it up, and runs back inside
the car. Now the door is open and he can get the car out.

One hand on the wheel, one hand shooting, he rolls the car
out onto the driveway. The battle is raging from all sides.


The car stops. CLYDE keeps shooting. The door of the cabin
flies open and BONNIE and C.W. come charging out, guns
blazing away. C.W. fires the Thompson sub-machine gun,
BONNIE fires two pistols with automatic clips. They run in
a crouch, tryingto get inside the car in front of their door.
They make it.

Camera pans across the motel to the other door. It opens,
BUCK and BLANCHE come out, holding a double bed mattress in
front of them for protection. This makes their running
awkward--the mattress is heavy. BLANCHE carries the front
end, BUCK the back with one hand, the other firing his gun.
They get halfway to the car and then BUCK is hit, shot in
the head. He falls to the ground; BLANCHE and the mattress
fall too since she has lost balance. Both are under the

CLYDE dashes out of the car and drags BUCK into the back
seat. BLANCHE follows, hysterical. All guns on all sides
are still firing. They fling themselves into the car and
from a standing start, the car starts out at 60 mph down the
driveway. One of the lawmen stands blocking the way with a
double-barrele rifle, but the car keeps coming, about to run
him down. He jumps out of the way and fires at the side.
The glass cracks and we see BLANCHE fling a hand to her
face, which is bloody. A piece of glass has lodged in her
eye. We hear her scream. The horn is still blasting.


CLYDE manages to keep it on the road. They drive away.


The police run back to their cars to give chase, calling out
to each other, unable to believe that the gang could possibly
have gotten away.


as it is speeding down the highway. Crazy, mad hillbilly
music on the soundtrack. Packed inside this car right now
is more sheer human misery and horror than could be believed.
It is hell in there, hell and suffering and pain. The car
is a complete mess. C.W. is sobbing. Everyone is hysterical.
BLANCHE is shrieking with pain and concern for BUCK. BUCK
is alternating between groaning and passing out completely.
BONNIE is yelling at everybody to shut up.


Only CLYDE, driving with both hands clenched on the wheel,
is silent. The car is doing 90.


The car from the outside, a half hour later. They have
eluded the police. They are barreling down the road at top
speed on a nice suburban street with proper homes. It is
the middle of the night, utter silence. CLYDE stops the
car, points to ca car in a driveway--it is a beautiful,
shiny new and expensive automobile. C.W. runs out, runs up
the driveway, peers inside, gets in, quietly backs it down
the driveway and pulls behind the gang's bullet-riddled
getaway car. Suddenly they both zoom off down the road


C.W. driving alone. He is crying, mumbling, wiping his eyes
and nose with one hand while he controls the wheel with the
Genres: ["crime","action"]

Summary The Barrow gang engages in a fierce gunfight with law enforcement at their motel, then make a daring escape. Tensions and emotions run high as they speed away in a stolen car.
Strengths "Intense action and high stakes make for a gripping scene."
Weaknesses "Lack of dialogue makes it hard to fully understand the characters' emotions and motivations."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and visually engaging. The action is fast-paced and intense, which will keep the audience on the edge of their seats. The use of sound, such as the horn blasting and the hillbilly music, adds an extra layer of tension.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. Firstly, some of the character actions seem unrealistic. For example, when Blanche and Buck are carrying the mattress for protection, it seems unlikely that they would be able to successfully move with it while also firing a gun. Additionally, the fact that the gang manages to escape despite being outnumbered and outgunned stretches belief.

There is also very little character development or dialogue in this scene. While this works for an action-packed sequence, it would be beneficial to have more insight into the characters' thoughts and motivations in other parts of the script.

Overall, while there are some areas for improvement, this scene effectively conveys the chaos and danger of a high-stakes shootout.
Suggestions First of all, I would suggest breaking this scene down into smaller parts, with each part having a clear action or moment that moves the story forward. Currently, it feels like a lot is happening all at once, making it difficult for the audience to keep up and fully understand the stakes.

Additionally, I would suggest creating more tension and suspense leading up to the moment when the lawmen arrive. Right now, the knock on the door comes out of nowhere and feels anticlimactic. Adding in some foreshadowing or hints that the lawmen are closing in would make the audience feel more invested in the outcome.

Finally, I would advise trimming down some of the extraneous details and focusing on what's most important for the story. For example, the description of the mattress being awkward to carry feels unnecessary and slows down the action. Instead, focus on the moments that are most crucial for the characters and their relationships, such as Bonnie's concern for Buck or Clyde's quiet determination in the face of danger.

Scene 32 -  Ring of Fire
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

A wide field in the country. This is Dexter, Iowa. It is
quiet. We see, in a long shot that takes in everything,
that this is a meadow surrounded by a ring of trees, a dense
forest that circles them. The meadow, however, is large.

The two cars drive into the middle of the field, headlights
on. They stop and the Barrow gang gets out. They are in
horrible shape--we can finally have a look at them. Half-
dressed in their pajamas, bloody, dirty, in tatters. Those
that can stagger out do so, others are carried. A far shot
of all this.

Closer shot. Moving closer to them, we see CLYDE and C.W.
lay BUCK down on the ground. CLYDE begins to administer to
his wounds as best he can, mostly just wiping him off. BUCK
is semi-conscious. All are in a semi-daze. BLANCHE falls
to her knees, still clutching her eyes. She is totally

Oh, God, please help us! Dear
Father in Heaven, get us out of
this and Buck will never do another
bad thing in his life!
(she continues
moaning, praying, sobbing)

BONNIE walks over to the group, looking at BUCK, C.W. goes
over to her. Two shot--BONNIE and C.W.


He ain't got a chance. Half his
head blown off.

Camera pulls back to take in BLANCHE.

My eyes!
God, I think I'm blind.
(in the headlights)
...light hurts so bad...

BONNIE walks over to the car and comes back with the
sunglasses BUCK had given BLANCHE. Moving her out of the
glare, she helps BLANCHE put them on. BONNIE now has an arm
around BLANCHE, and BLANCHE shivers into BONNIE gracefully.
BONNIE is a little repelled by BLANCHE, but comforts her out
of genuine feeling for her.

Please, please get us to a doctor!
Tell Clyde to get us to a doctor.
We'll die here.

(helping with glasses)
--here, hon'.

BONNIE looks silently up to CLYDE. CLYDE is looking dumbly
down at his mangled brother.

(going on)
Clyde, Clyde, please get us to a

Though BLANCHE cannot see it, CLYDE has knelt down to the
side of BUCK, taking BUCK's hand and with his other hand has
begun smoothing BUCK's hair back, away from the wound.
He's your brother!

(gently, knowing
CLYDE will not and
cannot answer BLANCHE)
Buck can't be moved, now, hon'.

BLANCHE's answer to this is hysterical sobbing, burying
herself into BONNIE, mumbling half-coherent, muffled prayers
between the sobs.


With BUCK and CLYDE.


Right here, boy.

I believe I lost my shoes...maybe
the dog hid 'em...
(he lapses into
unconsciousness again)

CLYDE has begun to cry a little, continues to smooth back
BUCK's hair with ritualistic regularity.

Wide angle. Night. Camera pulls away, way back to wide
shot of the entire field, showing the group in the center of
the darkness, lit by the headlights.

Match dissolve into early dawn, camera still on the wide
shot. The field is lighter, though the trees still loom
blackly around it. The two cars, one almost a shattered
wreck, the other bright and shiny and new, are parked in the
center. The sky is light, but the trees cast a dark shadow
on the field. The gang is just sitting around. BLANCHE
weeping next to BUCK, C.W. sitting on the running board of a
car, staring. BONNIE standing and smoking. CLYDE still
with BUCK.

All is quiet.

From the edge of the woods, a man in a white shirt emerges
from behind a tree. The camera swings abruptly to get him.
He calls out to the gang.


It is a total surprise. BONNIE, CLYDE and C.W. all grab
their guns and fire several shots; they are not firing the
big guns now, but the pistols. The man lingers there for a
moment--he looks strange, white, luminous, like an
apparition--and then he vanishes into the woods. Silence,
long enough to make you think it was perhaps an illusion.

Then there is a volley of gunfire--a noise so large as to be
almost an impossible sound--coming from the woods, all
around, everywhere.


A ring of little white puffs of smoke emerge from the woods;
from every tree a puff of smoke. The camera pans in a
circle. Behind every tree is a man with a gun. There are
at least 150 people out there--peace officers, farmers with
hunting rifles, kids with squirrel guns, everyone who wanted
to come along and catch BONNIE and CLYDE. Their number is
so large because this time they want no possibility of the
gang making what seemed by them supernatural escapes.

From this point on, the sound of guns is unnaturally muffled
on the sound track. We hardly hear them at is like
a dream.

Without a word, all of the gang including the half-dead BUCK
making his final effort, scramble for the nearest car. They
run, throughout this battle, crouched, like animals--their
only thought, to get away, to escape. To fight it out would
be ludicrous.

From the moment the Barrows start in motion, there is
shooting again from the edge of the woods. We see them
scrambling towards the car, in an extreme long shot,
surrounded by the ring of smoke.



All of them inside. CLYDE is at the wheel.


Med. Long shot of the car moving. The sound track goes to
complete silence. We see the car looking for an avenue of
escape. It veers towards a tree, a man steps out from
behind the tree and fires, the car jerks and veers toward
another tree, again a man steps out and fires and so on.
The car performs its eccentric dance, all in utter silence
(no sound of the motor, nothing). The film should have the
feeling of slow motion, as the car swerves and loops along
the edge of the woods. Not once do any of the Barrows fire
back. Another man steps out and aims.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang makes a last stand in an open field, surrounded by a ring of trees. Injured, tired, and running out of options, they are ambushed by law enforcement and civilians. The gang scrambles for their car and attempts to escape as they are shot at from all sides.
  • Intense action
  • Strong sense of danger and desperation
  • Lack of character development
  • Minimal dialogue
Critique Overall, this scene has potential but needs some refinement in order to be effective on screen. Here are some specific critiques:

1. Lack of clarity in setting: While the opening shot establishes that the scene takes place in a meadow surrounded by trees, there are no other details or landmarks to orient the audience. Adding a few more specific visuals or a mention of a nearby town or landmark would ground the scene more firmly in the world of the story.

2. Unclear character motivations: While we can assume that the Barrow gang is trying to escape and avoid capture, there is no clear objective or plan for how they will achieve this. Giving the characters more specific goals and obstacles would add tension and suspense to the scene.

3. Limited emotional range: The characters are all in a state of shock or distress, which makes sense given the situation, but it doesn't give them much to do other than react. Giving the characters more agency and motivation would make them more compelling and add to the drama of the scene.

4. Technical concerns: The lack of sound effects and music may be an intentional choice, but it would make the scene feel very flat and unengaging on screen. Additionally, some of the camera movements and shot choices need to be clearer and more purposeful in order to effectively convey what is happening.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more dialogue and emotional depth to the characters. This is a critical moment in the story and it's important to show the raw emotions and thoughts of the characters, especially as they are facing their potential death.

For example, when the man in the white shirt emerges from the woods and calls out to the gang to surrender, we should see a range of reactions from each of the characters. They could argue amongst themselves about what to do, with some wanting to surrender and others wanting to fight. This would heighten the tension and show the different perspectives and personalities within the gang.

Additionally, we could add more backstory and characterization to the gang members, such as flashbacks or dialogue that reveals their motivations and reasons for joining the life of crime. This would make the audience more invested in their fate and add more emotional weight to the scene.

Finally, the descriptions of the action could be more specific and detailed to create a clearer picture of what's happening visually. For example, instead of just saying "the car performs its eccentric dance," we could describe exactly how the car is moving and the sounds it's making as it swerves and loops along the edge of the woods. This would help the audience visualize the action and make it more exciting and suspenseful.

Scene 33 -  The Last Stand
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 8

Close-up. CLYDE. At the wheel-shot in the arm. He grabs
his arm in pain, loses control of the wheel.




--out of control (still silent). It smashes into a tree
stump. The picture stops, freezes for three beats. We hold
the image of the moment of crash, with pieces of metal
crumpling and flying into the air, suspended there by the



Sound partly up again, but never at its realistic volume.
From inside the smashed car, we peer out the window across
the field and see the other car. The thought strikes the
audience at the same time it strikes the gang--they must get
to that car.

Med. shot of the second car, sitting in the field, shining
in the sun. The lawmen also realize what must be done--cut
off this escape. Though BONNIE, CLYDE and the others are
heading toward it, they suddenly train all their fire on the
car rather than the gang.

The car fills the frame of the screen. Bullets begin to hit
it. It starts to quiver under the impact. For the next
minute, we see the car die in front of our eyes. We see the
beautiful machine fall to pieces--windows smash, tires torn
apart, body riddled. The death of the car is as painful to
watch as the willful death of a human being. The execution
is paced deliberately to show the ritualistic tempo of the


The camera pulls back, way back and slightly above everything
to reveal the entire field. On the left of the screen,
BONNIE, CLYDE and C.W. are scrambling toward the edge of the
woods. In the center BUCK and BLANCHE have taken cover
behind a fallen log. In the foreground, police begin to
emerge from the woods. The camera zooms rapidly in with
them toward BUCK. BLANCHE is screaming.

Don't kill him! Don't kill him!
He's dying!

BUCK is making a last feeble attempt. The zoom continues
past BUCK until it comes tight on his hand, a lawman's foot
steps on his hand. BUCK falls over. He dies. BLANCHE

Don't die, Daddy. Don't die!


She goes berserk. Five men, one hardly a teen-ager, grab
her and hold her as she writhes and cries. She is still
wearing the sunglasses.



They have reached the edge of the woods. Camera tracks with
them as they run. From all around come the sounds of the
posse. The three get in through the pines and come finally
to a deep stream. They jump in and start across, running
awkwardly in chest-deep water. They are half way across
when the police appear on the bank behind them, shooting.

Close-up. BONNIE. Day--as she is struggling through the
water. A bullet hits her in the shoulder. We must see this
bullet clearly, we must see it go in her flesh so that we
can feel it.
Tight close-up of BONNIE's face as she screams. It is the
first time she has been hurt, and the scream is pure animal
pain. She cries out.


CLYDE, who has almost reached the other side, comes back and
gets her. He drags her out of the water and into a cornfield
that starts growing on the opposite bank, C.W. helping. He
half-carries half-runs with her into the cornfield, as the
field gets deeper and thicker.

They stop for a second.

(panting, to Bonnie)
Saw...saw a farm...up ahead...gotta
get...a car...

He starts to give over the wounded BONNIE to C.W.

Baby, no...

But CLYDE has not heard this last. Working on pure
adrenaline now, he struggles onward. Camera tilts up
slightly so we can see CLYDE as he essays his way toward a
farmhouse with a car in the distance. After a few moments
he disappears and we can hear only the cracking of the
stalks as that sound too diminishes,

Full shot. Cornfield. Day. Silence.


Close. C.W. and BONNIE. Obviously some time later. They
both lie prostrate in the field, listening. C.W. licks his



They wait for another long moment, picking up only the
tiniest sounds.

Oh, no.
What? What?

(as though it were
the most logical
thing in the world)
I can't die without Clyde. I just

C.W. looks at her as if she's gone crazy. After another
moment the corn begins to tremble, and we hear the o.s.
sound of an approaching car.

With C.W. Day--tentatively lifting his head up to clear the
corn stalks. With him we see the car looming larger,
bearing down on us, splitting the corn stalks. The car
finally comes to a stop a few feet in front of C.W. BONNIE
is on her feet, and CLYDE tumbles out of the car, practically
before it's stopped, sweeping BONNIE into him. For a moment
both are in their knees a few feet from the running board of
the car, simply holding onto each other and not moving.

(tugging at both of
them frantically)
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!



They have gotten away, but are still escaping. C.W. is
driving. He is bare-chested. CLYDE is beside him in front,
his arm bleeding. He falls in and out of consciousness.
BONNIE is stretched out in back.


Her shoulder has been bandaged with C.W.'s shirt. She is


CLYDE comes half-awake and looks over at C.W.

Head out, C.W.
I'm goin' home to my daddy's farm.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Action"]

Summary As the Barrow gang is pursued by law enforcement, they engage in a high-stakes gunfight and make a daring escape before being ambushed in an open field.
Strengths "Intense and action-packed, with a high level of emotional impact and a strong sense of impending doom for the characters."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue is a bit on the nose and the pacing can be slow at times."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the tension and chaos of the situation. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the description of the car crash is somewhat vague and could be more specific in terms of the visuals. For example, it could be clearer what type of car it is and how it looks as it smashes into the tree stump.

Additionally, the use of freeze frame and slow motion could be overused and may detract from the immediacy of the action. It may be better to rely more on quick cuts and dynamic camera movements to convey the chaos of the shootout and escape.

Finally, the dialogue towards the end of the scene could be more impactful and emotionally resonant. The exchange between Bonnie and C.W. about her not wanting to die without Clyde feels somewhat clichéd and could be reworked to feel more authentic and raw.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys the stakes and tension of the situation, but could benefit from some further refinement and nuance.
Suggestions First, it would be helpful to establish the stakes of the scene and why it's necessary for Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. to escape. Perhaps adding a brief conversation between them at the start of the scene that establishes the urgency and danger they are in could help. Additionally, adding more physical descriptions of the characters and their actions could make the scene more visually compelling. For example, instead of simply saying "BONNIE is on her feet," describe the way she moves, the expression on her face, and the sound of her footsteps in the cornfield. Lastly, it may be helpful to streamline the action and dialogue in the scene to make it more cohesive and impactful.

Scene 34 -  Seeking refuge with family
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6

C.W. is driving down the road, hell for leather. Nearing a
campsite, where there are about six Okie cars and pick-up
trucks all loaded down, with a number of poor families
seated around a campfire, cooking. C.W. jams on the brakes.
He gets out, looking totally exhausted.

Reaction shot. The faces of the Okies, looking at this
sudden presence in their midst.

Back to C.W.

(about to drop)
Can y'all spare me a little water?


One man, the leader of the group, dips a cup of water and
approaches C.W. suspiciously. He comes close enough to make
C.W. reach out for the water, but withholds it from him.

Who are you, boy?

Name's Moss.

This seems to be enough for the man, who gives him the water.
As C.W. gulps it down, the man begins to circle the car,
peering into it suspiciously. Suddenly he starts and his
eyes open wide.

(in really hushed and
reverent tones)
It's Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow.


He stands there struck dumb, staring. Those of the others
who have heard him begin to come over. Without a word they
move quietly to the car and stare in.

BONNIE is out in the back seat; CLYDE is semi-conscious in
the front seat. He looks up through half-closed eyes.


We see a woman pour a bowl of soup at the campfire and bring
it to C.W. He accepts it.

A man rolls a cigarette and lights it. Then, very gingerly,
as if afraid to really touch him, he reaches through the
window and places it in CLYDE's lips. It hangs there, CLYDE
unable to drag on it or remove it.

Children peer through the back window.

C.W. finishes his cup of soup. He hands it and the cup of
water back to a woman in the crowd.

Quietly, moving together, the Okies step back. C.W. walks
to the driver's seat, gets in and shuts the door. He starts
up the car.

The people push a bit closer for a last look. CLYDE, unable
to do more, nods his head in a barely perceptive gesture by
way of saying "thank you" t ot the people. The cigarette is
still dangling from his lips.

The car moves off. A YOUNG BOY pulls on his FATHER's shirt.

Who was they, Pa?

That was Bonnie and Clyde, the bank

A woman, nearby, smiles sweetly.



The car pulls up outside the slightly ramshackle farm of
MALCOLM MOSS, C.W.'s father, in Arcadia, Louisiana. It
sits, for a moment, in the dark. Then C.W. honks the horn.
A few seconds pass, and the porch light comes on. OLD MAN
MOSS comes out in his pajamas and peers into the darkness.
He is a fat man with gray hair.

Who's there?

(calling back)

Who's there? Who is it?

It's C.W. It's Clarence.


He runs down the steps, down the path to his son. They
greet each other, hugging for a second, looking each other

God, it's good to see you, boy!

He holds C.W. at arm's length to study him, and suddenly he
scowls at something he sees by the light of the porch.

What's that on your chest?

(realizing what he means)
It's a tattoo...I'm in trouble.
I'll tell you about it later. My
friends are hurt. Help me get 'em

MALCOLM goes to car and looks inside for a moment. He walks
back to C.W.

Jesus, what happened to them? You
in trouble, son?

Yeah. That's Clyde Barrow and
Bonnie Parker.
(reaction from Malcolm)
We been shot. Help me get 'em
inside. We gotta help 'em.

They go to the car and drag the unconscious BONNIE out and
begin carrying her up to the house.


Why'd you get yourself marked up?
A tattoo! What in hell made you do
a damn fool thing like that?

They reach the house.

C'mon, Pa, open the door.
Genres: []

Summary C.W. drives the injured and unconscious Bonnie and Clyde to his father's farm for help, while seeking refuge from law enforcement. The family questions their arrival and is shocked to see the notorious outlaws. The scene ends with the family helping C.W. bring Bonnie inside the house.
Strengths "Tense atmosphere and high stakes keep the viewer engaged. The scene allows for character development through C.W.'s interaction with his family and their reaction to the outlaws."
Weaknesses "Dialogue is minimal and the scene is somewhat repetitive, ending with C.W. just arriving at his father's farm after seeking refuge from law enforcement."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging.

One potential improvement would be to give more description of the setting and atmosphere to create a stronger sense of place and tension. For example, describing the surrounding landscapes and weather could enhance the sense of urgency and vulnerability of the characters.

Additionally, it may be helpful to provide more insight into the motives and personalities of the characters, especially C.W. and the Okies. Further development could lend depth and complexity to the storytelling.

Overall, the scene effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for the story to come and leaves the audience eager to know more.
Suggestions There are a few ways to improve this scene:

1. Provide more context: It's not entirely clear why C.W. is driving down the road so recklessly or why he's seeking help from the Okies. Providing more context around the events leading up to this scene would make it more engaging for the audience.

2. Emphasize the tension: The Okies' suspiciousness towards C.W. could be heightened by adding more emphasis on their reactions to him. How do they respond when he asks for water? Providing more visual cues and gestures can create a sense of unease and tension for the audience.

3. Develop the characters: The dialogue between C.W. and the Okie leader feels very flat and one-dimensional. Expanding on the characters' traits and personalities would make it more interesting to follow their interactions. What are the Okies' beliefs and values? How do they view C.W.? Similarly, what drives C.W. to put his life on the line for Bonnie and Clyde? Adding depth to the characters can make the audience more invested in their journey.

4. Increase the stakes: While the urgency of the situation is conveyed through the dialogue, adding more visual cues, like the camera zooming in on Clyde's unconscious body, can increase the sense of danger and urgency.

5. Improve the pacing: The scene drags a little towards the end, with the descriptions of the Okies handing C.W. soup and cigarettes feeling extraneous. Tightening up the pacing and removing any unnecessary actions can make the scene more streamlined.

Scene 35 -  Last Stand
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 6

Although the scene begins with a full-screen close-up of a
newspaper clipping with a photo, it is just a blurry-gray,
crowded scene of BLANCHE's capture. Really impossible to
make anybody out in the crowd. Camera stays on photo as we
hear voice over of two men talking: a sheriff and his deputy.

I was in the bunch that took 'er.
See here? Can you make me out?
Here I am, see here, right behind
Joe Boyd here.

Sure enough, Billy, is that your
head there?

Camera pulls away, BILLY, a young deputy--cold, intense,
humorless and square, carefully folds up the clipping and
puts it in his wallet.

Still can't figure how we let them
other two get away.

(an older, more
genial type)
Yeah, seems as how nobody can get
'em somehow.

Yeah...well, maybe this boy'll be
the one to do it, this Hamer guy.
Boy if he can't do it, Sheriff,
ain't nobody but the whole U.S.
Army can do it.


(with a new note of
enthusiasm, gets up
and walks to the
window--turning to Billy)
You hear he quit the Rangers on
account of Texas got that woman
governor. Said he wouldn't work
under no woman.

Yeah, that's somethin' all right.
Say, how many they say he shot
anyway in his day?

Sixty-five they say.

Son of a sea-cook!

The door opens. We see, full shot and then fast close-up
FRANK HAMER. It should be a complete shock to the audience--
this is the man kidnapped by the gang earlier and partially
destroyed by BONNIE.

HAMER is dressed in his Ranger outfit and hat, and again he
has that quality of sinister frenzy beneath his calm manner.
His attitude toward these lawmen is sheer condescension,
friendly only out of convention, really superior and
contemptuous of lesser workers in his field.

(with politeness
arising from condescension)
Excuse me, am I in the right place?
Is this Sheriff Smoot?

PETE and BILLY jump up from the chairs and walk over to
HAMER, hands extended. They are quite impressed by meeting
in the flesh.
(mispronouncing his name)
Frank Hammer. I sure am pleased to
meet you!
(shakes his hand)


Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang is pursued by law enforcement and makes a frantic attempt to escape while seeking refuge at a farm. They are helped by a shocked family and taken inside the house.
Strengths "The scene is highly intense and suspenseful, accurately depicting the gang's last moments on the run. It effectively showcases the tension between the gang and law enforcement."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat simplistic, and there isn't much character development."
Critique Overall, the scene does a good job of introducing the character of Frank Hamer and establishing his reputation as a skilled lawman. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the opening shot of the newspaper clipping is a bit confusing and unnecessary. It doesn't really add anything to the scene and could be cut without losing any important information.

Secondly, the dialogue between Billy and Pete feels a bit stilted and unnatural. The back-and-forth about whether Billy can be seen in the photo is clunky and doesn't really add anything to the scene. It might be better to cut this exchange and focus more on building up Hamer's reputation.

Finally, the description of Hamer as having a "sinister frenzy beneath his calm manner" could be made more clear. It's not entirely clear what this means, and a more specific description of his demeanor would help to convey the intended mood of the scene.

Overall, the scene sets up some interesting character dynamics and hints at the tension that will build between Hamer and the outlaws later on. With some minor tweaks to the dialogue and description, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Instead of beginning with a close-up of a blurry newspaper clipping, start with a wider shot that shows the sheriff's office and the characters in the room.

2. Show more clearly who Blanche is and why she was captured. This will give the audience more context for the conversation between the sheriff and his deputy and for Hamer's appearance.

3. Instead of having the conversation between the sheriff and his deputy be purely expository, give them some more personality and make the conversation more interesting. For example, they could have different opinions about Blanche's capture and the other outlaws who got away.

4. When Hamer enters the room, make it more dramatic. The audience should be surprised to see him because they thought he was dead. Consider having him enter from a different door or window than the one the other characters are facing.

5. Make Hamer's introduction more memorable. Instead of just shaking hands, he could say something snarky or intimidating to the other characters to establish his superiority and make it clear that he's not here to make friends.

6. Consider using more visual storytelling to help the audience understand Hamer's backstory. For example, you could show flashbacks of him in action as a Ranger to illustrate his reputation as a skilled lawman.

Scene 36 -  Seeking Refuge and Recovery at Moss Farm
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8

A coil of rope snaps into and through the paper, splitting
it and revealing C.W.'s startled face. CLYDE strides the
porch angrily, snapping the rope.

BONNIE and MALCOLM are seated along with C.W. Through
BONNIE has her arm supported by a sling and CLYDE has his
shoulder bandagedm it is evident by CLYDE's heady indignation
and BONNIE's attentiveness that both are well on the way to

(still snapping rope)
FLED? What do they mean, fled?
How in the nama God could I leave
my brother to die when he was
already dead when I left him?
He was shot in too many pieces to
pick off the ground! Fled...what
do they know, the papers or the

Suddenly he moves upon MALCOLM with enormous intent, as if
by pounding the point home to the one relative stranger
among them, he will justify it all. MALCOLM momentarily
flinches, then listens with intense deference.

Why, while we were all lyin' around
here, near dead, they had us
holdin' up the Grand Prairie
National Bank! They hung that one
on us just for luck, I guess.

CLYDE shakes his head, still thinking this over. Abruptly,
to BONNIE, with deadly seriousness:
Tell you what. Soon's we get well,
we're gonna take that bank!

He breaks into a wicked grin, but then reels, catching
himself on the porch railing. He's obviously dizzy from
exertion and anger. BONNIE starts--then sees CLYDE is in

(remarking on his own dizziness)
Whooooooo, boy...
(kneeling, to Bonnie)
They don't know nothin'--do they,


(assuring him)
You did all you could, hon'.
Nobody coulda done more.

C.W. has been studying hard on the torn paper, b.g. Suddenly:

Hey. How come I'm always called
the "Un-identified sus-spect?"

Group shot. Porch. C.W. has trouble with this last phrase.
BONNIE laughs. This picks up CLYDE's spirits once more.

(to C.W.)
You can just thank your lucky stars
that's all you are. So long's they
don't have your last name, you're
home safe.

(toadying to Clyde,
talking to Clarence)
Mr. Barrow's lookin' out for your
interests, boy.

Oh...Hey, Pa, how you like havin' a
coupla big deals stayin' with you?

(friendly as can be)
Ain't that somethin' for me?

(back in good mood, expansive)
Well now, you been real nice to us,
and I tell you what, let us pay you
forty dollars for your hospitality,
what do you say?

(protesting vehemently)
No, no, no. I don't want your
money. I'm just pleased to have
your company. Any friend of my

Hey, Pa, let's have supper. I'm


Yeah...okay, Clarence...
(to Clyde)
You're welcome here, now you know


They go into the house. Camera goes with them. As soon as
they are out of earshot from BONNIE and CLYDE, MALCOLM turns
on C.W. displaying an entirely different demeanor from the
one he presented outside.

(indicating tatto
which flutters
through C.W.'s open shirt)
You look like trash, boy, marked up
like that. Cheap trash.

Bonnie says it looks good.

Bonnie, what does she know. She's
just cheap trash herself. Look
what they do to you, and you don't
even get your name in the paper--
just pictures put on your skin, by
"Bonnie and Clyde"--
(more to himself)
--why they're a coupla kids.

But, Daddy--

I'm just glad your ma ain't alive
to see that thing.

C.W. peeks at it, peering down at his chest, trying to bring
the bluebirds into focus, puzzled.

I don't see what's so bad about it...
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary The Barrow gang seeks refuge at the Moss farm after a high-stakes escape. Clyde is angry at the press for downplaying Buck's death and hatches a plan for their next robbery. C.W. discovers that he is referred to as an unidentified suspect and the family invites them for supper. Malcolm's demeanor changes when alone with C.W. as he insults his tattoo and Bonnie's character.
Strengths "The scene has a strong tension and emotional depth. The dialogue is well-written and reveals character traits."
Weaknesses "The scene doesn't significantly advance the plot and the theme has a lower rating as there is no clear message or commentary provided."
Critique Overall, this scene seems well-written with clear dialogue and action. However, adding more description and setting details could help to enhance the visual aspect of the scene. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more character development and a deeper exploration of emotions and motivations. For example, it would be interesting to know why Clyde is so adamant about defending himself and his actions to Malcolm, and what drives him to plan and execute another bank robbery despite his injuries. Similarly, more background information on Malcolm and his relationship with his son could add layers of complexity to the dynamic between them.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene lacks clear description and detail. It is not clear how the characters are physically positioned in relation to each other, which could lead to confusion for the reader and limitations for the director. Adding more detail about character movements and positions, gestures, and facial expressions can help to convey the emotions and intentions behind the dialogue.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved to be more concise and impactful. Certain lines, such as C.W.'s struggle with the phrase "unidentified suspect," could be cut to streamline the scene. Additionally, the dialogue between Malcolm and C.W. towards the end of the scene feels out of place and disconnected from the rest of the conversation. This exchange could be cut or reworked to better fit the tone and purpose of the scene.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting. Adding descriptions of the farm, the weather, or the sounds and smells of the surrounding area can help to enhance the scene and bring it to life for the audience.

Scene 37 -  Blanche's Interrogation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8

Seated in a soft chair, looking directly at us, is BLANCHE
BARROW. Her eyes are completely covered with a white
bandage. She wears a hospital gown. The room is white and


Med. shot. HAMER in the doorway. The nurse leaves. He
reaches in his pocket and pulls out a white handkerchief.
He puts it over his mouth to disguise his voice, afraid she
will remember it from the kidnap. Quietly, almost on
tiptoes, HAMER walks over to BLANCHE. He gets inches away
from her face. She still doesn't know he is there.

(quietly, but
suddenly, his voice
muffled by the handkerchief)
Blanche Barrow.

She starts to her feet, then adjusts to his presence. She
is a bit panicked. BLANCHE is now a defeated human being.
Her voice and manner bespeak great weariness, sorrow and
still a touch of her old high-strung hysteria. But most of
that is gone now, like everything else that was really vital
in her life.

What? What? Who is it?

(in a monotone, a
relentless questioner)
You know your husband's dead.

(her voice flat and expressionless)
I know.

You're going to prison.

I know it.

Where's the rest of 'em?

I don't know.

Where's the rest of 'em?

I just don't know. I don't know.

How'd you get in with them?


(starting slow, but
warming up to the
subject, she begins
to talk and talk for
the sake of airing
her troubles)
I didn't mean to. I didn't. Buck
said we was just goin' to visit, we
wouldn't be doin' no robbin' and
stealin', and then we went to
Joplin and all of a sudden they
started shootin'.
(hysteria begins to
creep into her voice
as she relives it all)
And we run off, God, I was scared.
And then it was run all the time,
and I wanted to go, I begged to go,
but Clyde and Bonnie and C.W.--

(seizing on it)
C.W. C.W. who?

C.W. Moss.




It is pouring rain, middle of the afternoon, BONNIE and
CLYDE are inside the car, sitting. They have lived so much
in cars that they tend to still spend much of their time in
it rather than in a room. There they are themselves.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Hammer interrogates Blanche, the only surviving member of the Barrow gang, about the whereabouts of Bonnie and Clyde. She is defeated and resigned to her fate. The scene then cuts to Bonnie and Clyde waiting out the rain in their car.
Strengths "Strong emotional impact, well-written dialogue, effective use of setting to convey tone"
Weaknesses "Lack of action may be dull for some viewers, scene does not progress the plot significantly"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the emotional distress of Blanc Barrow as well as the tense atmosphere surrounding her. The use of Hamer's muffled voice adds to the tension and highlights the fear Blanc may still hold due to her previous kidnapping.

However, there is a lack of specific visual details in the scene, which would help to engage the audience more effectively. For example, it would be helpful to know how the light streams through the windows, or the temperature of the room. These small details can make a big difference in the overall atmosphere of the scene.

Additionally, the dialogue, while effective in conveying the emotions of the characters, may be improved with some added nuance. Rather than simply asking questions, Hamer could try to use a more manipulative tactic to get the information he needs. This would add an extra layer of tension to the scene.

Despite these minor critique points, the scene is well-written and succeeds in conveying the emotional turmoil of the characters while keeping the audience on edge.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more visual details: The scene currently lacks visual description, which makes it feel static. Consider adding more visual details to bring the scene to life, such as describing the hospital room more fully, or adding more physical actions for the characters.

2. Increase tension: The scene lacks tension and conflict. To make it more engaging, consider adding more conflict between Blanche and Hamer, or raising the stakes of the conversation. For example, you could reveal that Hamer is under pressure to extract information from Blanche quickly, or that Blanche has some kind of leverage over Hamer that she can use to her advantage.

3. Develop the characters: The characters currently feel one-dimensional. To make them more fully realized, think about their backstories and motivations. What drives Blanche to talk? Why is Hamer so desperate to get information from her? By adding more layers to the characters, you can make the scene more emotionally resonant.

4. Use dialogue to reveal character: The dialogue currently feels expository and flat. To make it more engaging, consider using dialogue to reveal character and subtext. For example, instead of having Blanche simply recount her experiences, have her reveal her emotions and inner conflicts as she speaks. This will make the scene more engaging and help deepen our understanding of the characters.

Scene 38 -  "The Story of Bonnie and Clyde"
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7

BONNIE is in the back seat, her legs wrapped in a plaid
blanket, writing poetry. She looks like Elizabeth Barrett
Browning. With one essential difference--her arm is in a
sling and she is wearing bandages on the shoulder. CLYDE is
in the front seat, reading a newspaper. He is also partially
bandaged. On the dashboard is a box of ginger-snaps which
he eats while he reads. They look domestic.

Want a ginger-snap, Bonnie?


(busy, absorbed)
No, hum-umm.
(then she realizes
his nice gesture and
smiles warmly at him)
But thanks anyway, Clyde.
(she takes it all in,
her situation, and
looks content and cozy)
It's real nice here, just the two
of us like this.

(more interested in
his paper)
(something in the
paper catches his interest)
Look here, honey, remember this?

He holds up the paper; there is one of the photos from the
motel, the one showing BONNIE smoking. She looks up at it
with mild interest.

Yeah, at the motel.

(studying the picture)
You sure don't resemble that no more.

Close-up BONNIE. She doesn't. She has become totally
fragile, the essence of herself. She is writing on a pad.


What you writin' this time?

I'm writing a poem about us. I'm
writing our story.

(this appeals to his ego)
Oh, are you? Let's hear it. If
it's good, I'll mail it in to the
Law and it'll be printed in all the
papers again.

Just let me finish this line.


She does so. CLYDE munches a cookie.

Okay, here it is.

Close-up. BONNIE--as she reads intensely. At the beginning
of this montage, the camera remains on her face. Behind her
we see the rain on the window.

"The Story of Bonnie and Clyde"

You've heard the story of Jesse
Of how he lived and died:
If you're still in need
Of something to read
Here's the story of Bonnie and

Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow
I'm sure you all have read
How they rob and steal
And those who squeal
Are usually found dying or dead.

They call them cold-hearted killers;
They say they are heartless and
But I say this with pride,
That I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and

But the laws fooled around,
Kept taking him down
And locking him in a cell,
Till he said to me,
"I'll never be free
So I'll meet a few of them in

The road was so dimly lighted;
There were no highway signs to
But they made up their minds
If all roads were blind,
They wouldn't give up till they died.




The manuscript is lying on the police blotter. HAMER picks
it up and continues reading it. He reads it in a halting

The road gets dimmer and dimmer;
Sometimes you can hardly see;
But it's fight man to man,
And do all you can,
For they know they can never be

From heartbreak some people have
From weariness some people have
But take it all in all,
Our troubles are small,
Till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.

Close-up of a newspaper page. The poem is printed all the
way down the length of one column. On the sound track,
BONNIE's voice picks up the recitation:

If a policeman is killed in Dallas,
And they have no clue or guide;
If they can't find a fiend,
They just wipe their slate clean
And hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde reflect on their current situation while Bonnie writes a poem about their story. Meanwhile, Hamer reads Bonnie's poem.
Strengths "The poem recitation adds depth and context to the story, giving the audience insight into the perspective of both Bonnie and law enforcement."
Weaknesses "The scene is mostly exposition and lacks action."
Critique This scene effectively shows the intimacy and domesticity shared between Bonnie and Clyde amidst their lives as criminals on the run. Bonnie's arm in a sling and the bandages on their bodies visually communicate the danger they face and the violence they've encountered. The box of cookies on the dashboard adds a touch of normalcy to the scene. Bonnie's poetic interlude provides insight into her character and motivations while highlighting the glamour and mythology surrounding Bonnie and Clyde's criminal escapades. The contrast between Bonnie's romanticized version of their story and Hamer's more dire interpretation further emphasizes the mythos versus reality aspect of their tale.

Overall, the scene is effective in advancing character development and adding layers to the Bonnie and Clyde story.
Suggestions 1. Add more action or movement to the scene. As it is written, the characters are static, with Bonnie writing and Clyde reading. Adding some movement, such as Clyde driving or changing the radio station, would make the scene more visually interesting.

2. Create more tension or conflict between the characters to add drama. Right now, the scene is fairly harmonious, with Bonnie and Clyde getting along and sharing a nice moment. Adding some conflict, such as a disagreement or argument, could create more tension and keep the audience engaged.

3. Develop Bonnie's character more fully. Right now, she is simply writing poetry and looking content. Adding more depth to her character would make the scene more emotionally impactful.

4. Integrate the poem more fully into the larger story. While the poem is a nice moment, it doesn't seem to have any real impact on the plot or character development. Finding a way to make the poem more integral to the story would make the scene more meaningful.

Scene 39 -  The Poem of Bonnie and Clyde
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 10

The day is sunny and we see it through the car window. She
continues reading, but now she reads it directly from the

If they try to act like citizens
And rent them a nice little flat
About the third night
They're invited to fight
By a sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.

Some day they'll go down together;
They'll bury them side by side;
To few it'll be grief--
To the law a relief--
But it's death for Bonnie and Clyde.

BONNIE finishes the poem, as camera pulls back slightly to
show that it is a different day, different clothes and the
bandages are gone. As she stops, she has an expectant and
somewhat self-satisfied look.

Close-up of CLYDE. His eyes are wide, his mouth open, his
face shows surprise and delight and he is on the verge of a
giant laugh.

(in gleeful wonder)
Damn! That's me!

A great laugh comes bursting from him. Camera widens to
take in BONNIE. She is both startled and delighted by his

In that poem!

BONNIE giggles.

(continuing; it is
all starting to come
out now--his
realization that he
has made it, that he
is the stuff of
legend, that he is an
important figure)
A sub-gun's rat-tat-tat!
(he begins to laugh loudly)
Right in the paper!

Close-up BONNIE. Now laughing too, with a great feeling of

Two shot. BONNIE and CLYDE.

Jesse James! You hear 'bout old
Jesse, now you goin' to hear 'bout

He puffs up with air and explodes like a steam valve.

He grabs BONNIE and chuckles delightedly.


Damn, Bonnie! You musta been one
hell of a waitress!

Close-up. BONNIE--laughing, her eyes filled with tears.
CLYDE's hand wipes them away.

Two shot.

(shaking his head
back and forth like a
puppy, just so much
glee in him that he
can't hold it)
Oooooh, that Clyde! That's my boy,
that Clyde!

He looks at her with love and delight, hugs her tightly.

(she hugs him back)
The Poem of Bonnie and Clyde!

(laughing at the
mistake, happy)
The Story.

The Story of Bonnie and Clyde! Oh,
child, you really did tell that

He pulls her to him, his face inches away from hers, about
to kiss her. She is waiting, expecting... Suddenly, he lets
out one wild laugh almost into her mouth.

He kisses her. She kisses back. They are chuckling,
giggling. They grow more ardent; they pull back and laugh
again. They begin to make love.
Genres: ["crime","romance"]

Summary Bonnie reads her poem about their story to Clyde while they wait out the rain in their car. Clyde is thrilled to hear himself mentioned in the poem and realizes he's become a legend. The moment is filled with joy, laughter, and love, ultimately leading to them making love.
  • Good use of contrast to show the passage of time
  • Shows the couple's love and bond in a heartwarming way
  • The poem adds depth to the characters' story and shows the impact they've made on society
  • Little to no conflict or tension
  • Does not advance the main plot significantly
Critique This scene is a great example of good character development and dialogue. The dialogue is natural and flows well, and the character reactions are believable.

However, as a screenwriting expert, I would suggest that the scene could benefit from more action and conflict to make it visually engaging. One way to achieve this would be to incorporate more movement in the scene, like changing camera angles or showing the car moving. Also, adding some tension or conflict between Bonnie and Clyde could add more depth to their relationship and make the scene more dynamic.

Overall, this scene has great potential, but could use more creativity and visual engagement to make it more effective on screen.
Suggestions This scene could benefit from more context and emotional depth. As a screenwriting expert, here are some suggestions:

1. Establish the setting. The scene begins with a close-up of Bonnie reading, but we don't know where she is or what she's doing. Adding some descriptive language to set the scene would help the audience understand what's happening.

2. Show more of Bonnie and Clyde's relationship. The scene jumps from Bonnie reading a poem to the two of them laughing and making love without much in between. Adding some dialogue or actions that show how Bonnie and Clyde feel about each other would add more emotional weight to this scene.

3. Add subtext. Right now, the scene is very on-the-nose, with Bonnie reading a poem about Bonnie and Clyde and Clyde reacting to it. Adding some subtext or hidden meanings to their words and actions could make it more engaging for the audience.

4. Use more cinematic language. Currently, the scene is mostly written in basic description and dialogue. Adding more visual language, like camera angles and descriptors, could make it more dynamic and engaging on screen.

Overall, this scene needs more development to make it stand out. By adding more emotional depth and context, it could become a more memorable and impactful moment in the film.

Scene 40 -  The Afterglow
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8

Bright afternoon. Camera across the street from an ice
cream parlor. Sign about it: "EVA'S HAND-PACKED ICE CREAM."
A large plate glass window fronts the store, and through it
we can see the people inside seated at tables and booths.
Prominent in our vision is MALCOLM MOSS, seated, facing
camera. He is seated across from another man, but we see
him from the back.


MALCOLM is obviously doing a lot of talking and then some
hard listening; gesticulating and looking disturbed. After
a bit of this, he rises from the table and begins walking
toward the door. The other man rises and turns. We now see
that it is FRANK HAMER.

MALCOLM and HAMER come out onto the sidewalk, squinting in
the sunlight. MALCOLM mimes some social pleasantries by way
of saying "goodbye," but HAMER's face shows no emotion of
recognition of the gesture. He turns and walks away,
walking out of the frame.

MALCOLM stands where he is, in front of the ice cream parlor.
By the expression on his face, we can see that he is rather
disturbed by what he has heard and that he is still grappling
with the problem.


BONNIE and CLYDE. They lie where they were with one
difference--they are now wrapped in the blanket. CLYDE's
pants are wadded up and tangled with his shoes at the base
of the blanket.

(chuckling, apparently
quite pleased)

He casts a sidelong glance to BONNIE, wanting some sort of
overt reaction from her. She's just smiling slightly.
CLYDE's underlying anxiety begins to surface.

(not looking at her)
Hey, listen, Bonnie, how do you feel?

(watching him
steadily, her slight
smile growing)
I mean you feel like you're s'posed
to feel after you've uh...



(doesn't know what
the fuck to say,
desperately wants her approval)
Well, that's good, ain't it.
Reason I ask is, I uh... Well, I
figger it's a good idea to ask. I
mean how else do I tell if I did it
the way...

(stopping him, with
great warmth)
Hey. You done just perfect.

CLYDE looks at her for the first time, tremendously relieved.
He can see she means it. Now his buoyancy, utterly,
unchained breaks through:

I did, didn't I? I mean I did, I
really did. I did it, I did, I
mean this was my first time and it
was just like rollin' off a log
when it comes right down to it, it
was easy, I mean I didn't even have
to try...

Lovingly, laughing, altogether overwhelmed with himself,
CLYDE pulls BONNIE into him. He kisses her, wants to make
love again, but then pulls back and keeps chattering at
sixty miles a minute. He's waited twenty-three years to
talk about this, and he's got the perfect audience.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Romance"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde reflect on their relationship and make love while a key witness talks to the authorities.
Strengths "Strong and natural dialog between Bonnie and Clyde that highlights their strong bond. A joyous scene that provides a moment of relief from the tension of the previous scenes."
Weaknesses "Little plot development and a low level of conflict."
Critique Overall, the scene lacks clear purpose and does not advance the story in a significant way. While the first half of the scene establishes Malcolm Moss and Frank Hamer's meeting, it is not clear what the meeting was about or how it relates to the main story. Additionally, the description of the scene is mostly observational, with little to no dialogue or action to engage the audience.

The second half of the scene with Bonnie and Clyde is more engaging, but also lacks clear purpose and feels disconnected from the first half. While the dialogue between Bonnie and Clyde is well-written and reveals character, it does not advance the story or show significant character development.

To improve the scene, the writer should focus on establishing a clear purpose and connection between the two halves. Dialogue and action should be used to engage the audience and advance the story. Moments of conflict and tension should be established to create a sense of stakes in the scene.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more tension: While it is clear that Malcolm Moss is disturbed by something he has heard, there isn't enough tension in the scene to make the audience feel invested in what is happening. This can be achieved by adding more dramatic dialogue between Malcolm and Frank, revealing what exactly is causing Malcolm's distress.

2. Show, don't tell: The scene relies heavily on dialogue to communicate what is happening, which is not the most effective way to engage the audience. Instead, the scene could use more visual storytelling, such as close-ups of the characters' faces and body language, to convey their emotions and reactions.

3. Clarify the location: While the scene takes place outside an ice cream parlor, it is not clear where this parlor is located or how it fits into the overall story. Adding more context to the scene, such as showing the exterior of the parlor or revealing the significance of the location, can help ground the audience in the story world.

4. Connect the scenes thematically: The jump from the ice cream parlor scene to Bonnie and Clyde in bed feels jarring and disconnected. To make the scene transitions smoother, it can be helpful to connect the scenes thematically, such as by having Malcolm's distress relate to Bonnie and Clyde's situation in some way. This can also help reinforce the story's themes and motifs.

Scene 41 -  The Deal
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6

After dinner. There are four empty plates, but only C.W.
and MALCOLM in the kitchen. C.W. is scraping the bottom of
studies his son's quiet intensity in this direction for a
moment, then moves very close, whispers when he speaks.

Boy, they expect you to go downtown
with 'em tomorrow?

(out loud, licking
his ice cream)


(raising his own
voice, infuriated by
his son's obtuseness)
Bonnie and Clyde!...
(he slaps the carton
out of C.W.'s hands;
whispering again)
Bonnie and Clyde.

Sure, I always go with them.

MALCOLM thinks hard about this.

...better go then, you better go,
better go...
(forcing C.W. to sit
at table)
--but when they get back in the car
to come on home, don't get in with

(genuinely puzzled)
Why, Daddy?

You just listen to your Pa fer once!
Cain't you do that? I'm yore
Daddy, I'm your kin, not Clyde.

(still confused)
Well, what should I tell 'em? "I
can't get back in the car with you?"

MALCOLM is ready to kill--his son's obtuseness and his fear
of CLYDE is whipping him into a quiet frenzy.

(squeezing C.W.'s arm)
No, you tell them nothin', hear?
(hesitates, then)
I made a deal and got you off with
a coupla years!

(a piercing treble)
Made a deal with who, Daddy?


MALCOLM hauls off and whacks C.W. across the top of his head
with the flat of his hand, then momentarily holds his hand
over C.W's mouth.

(we can see his own fear)
...the law. Just don't get back in
that car.
(eyeball to eyeball)
And whatever you do, don't let onto
them, hear?

C.W. suddenly smiles, as if he knew something.

Whew!... You think them laws are
gonna catch Bonnie and Clyde in town?

C.W. returns to the ice cream carton--MALCOLM lets him,
figuring he better find out what he can.

What do you think, Clarence?

(matter of fact)
They ain't gonna catch 'em. Don't
matter whether I let on or not.

(playing along)
Mebbe. Just you be off'n the
streets of that town when they go
to get in their car.

(looking directly at Malcolm)
Nobody catches Clyde. Clyde's got
a sense, don't you know that, Daddy?
Nobody catches Clyde.

MALCOLM knows better, but for just a moment he stares at his
son, fearing that maybe C.W., for all his limitations, has a
sense about CLYDE's sense. C.W. has finished with the
carton and crumples it, licking the last remnants of cream
off his fingers.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Malcolm warns C.W. not to get into the car with Bonnie and Clyde and reveals that he made a deal with the law to get him off with a lighter sentence. C.W. is confused but ultimately compliant. Malcolm is tense and fears for the safety of his family.
Strengths "The tension between Malcolm and C.W. is palpable and ratchets up the stakes of the scene. The audience is left wondering whether C.W. will cooperate with his father's request. The dialogue is terse but effective at conveying the urgency of the situation."
Weaknesses "The scene is somewhat static and relies heavily on dialogue to move the story forward. There is no action until the very end of the scene when C.W. finishes his ice cream. The emotional impact of the scene is somewhat muted due to the detached and matter-of-fact dialogue."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing the tense relationship between C.W. and his father, as well as the threat posed by Bonnie and Clyde. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose at times, especially when Malcolm raises his voice to angrily explain the situation to C.W. It might be more effective if the tension were allowed to build more gradually, with Malcolm struggling to find the right words before finally exploding in frustration.

Secondly, the scene could benefit from some more visual detail to help bring the kitchen to life. As it stands, there's very little description of the setting or the characters' physical movements beyond a few key actions (e.g. C.W. scraping the ice cream carton). Adding more sensory details could help make the scene feel more vivid and immersive.

Finally, the scene ends a bit abruptly, with Malcolm simply staring at C.W. after his son makes a cryptic comment about Clyde's sense. It might be more satisfying to end the scene on a more definitive note, such as Malcolm storming out of the kitchen or C.W. reacting more strongly to his father's warning.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the stakes: While the tension of the scene is high, the stakes are not clearly defined. It is not entirely clear why Malcolm is so insistent that C.W. not get back in the car with Bonnie and Clyde. Adding a clearer sense of what might happen if C.W. does get back in the car could ramp up the tension and make the scene more compelling.

2. Develop the relationship between Malcolm and C.W.: The scene hints at a strained relationship between Malcolm and his son, but it is not fully developed. Adding more backstory to their relationship could help to flesh out the scene and make it more emotionally resonant.

3. Add more visual interest: The scene takes place entirely in the kitchen and relies heavily on dialogue. Adding some visual interest, such as interesting camera angles or movements, could help to break up the monotony and make the scene more dynamic.

4. Tighten up the dialogue: The dialogue in the scene is a bit repetitive and could benefit from some tightening up. Cutting some of the extraneous back-and-forth between Malcolm and C.W. could help to make the scene more focused and impactful.

Scene 42 -  Proposal and Dreams
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8

BONNIE and CLYDE's bedroom, the middle of that night. Both
are wide awake, lying on opposite sides of the double bed.
Both are staring into the night, disquiet.


Bonnie? Bonnie, will you marry me?

There is a silent gasp from BONNIE, a barely perceptible
stiffening. Then she talks in a voice falsely formal, still
staring up at the ceiling.

How could I do that, Clyde? You
know it's impossible. We'd have to
go to a Justice of the Peace and
the Justice of the Peace is a
lawman. We couldn't even take out
a license.

(with a chuckle)
Hey now, you sound like you been
givin' it some thought on your own.

(with a grim irony,
her voice getting
more and more emotional)
Oh no, I never gave it thought. I
haven't thought about it at least
ten times a day, I haven't thought
about it every minute of my life
since I met you.
(suddenly her voice
cracks into tears)

She flings herself violently across the bed and buries
herself into CLYDE's chest, her knees drawn up, her head
tucked down into him, her body shaking with sobs.

(a bit startled by
this, attempting to
hold her, awkwardly,
and placate her. He
puts his arm around her)
Bonnie...are you crying, honey?

BONNIE nods yes and slowly gets control over her tears.

(her face still
buried in CLYDE's
chest, she whispers)
Clyde, why do you want to marry me?


CLYDE thinks a minute and then grins.

(in an attempt to be humorous)
To make an honest woman out of you.

BONNIE is silent.

(finally, in a voice
charged with
anticipation and dream)
Clyde...what would you do, what
would you do it some miracle
happened and we could walk out
tomorrow morning and start all over
again, clean, with no record, with
nobody after us?

CLYDE thinks about it a minute.

Well...I guess I'd do it all
different. First off, I wouldn't
live in the same state where we
pull our jobs. We'd live in one
state and stay clean there, and
when we wanted to take a bank, we'd
go to another state...and...

Suddenly he realizes that he has said the worst thing he
could have, that it was not the answer BONNIE wanted to hear.
He looks down at her, his voice anxious.


She is silent.

Hey, Bonnie?

But she does not answer.


We see MALCOLM jacking up the back wheel of his pickup truck
which is parked on the side of the road in a wooded area.




A street in Arcadia. The car is parked. BONNIE and CLYDE
walks toward the car carrying big bags of groceries and
supplies and put them inside.

(looking around)
What happened to C.W.?

He stopped off in that hardware
store to get light bulbs for his

CLYDE opens the door of the driver's seat and sits down.
Genres: ["romance","drama","crime"]

Summary Bonnie and Clyde talk about marriage, dream of starting over, and face a moment of tension.
Strengths "Strong emotional scene that shows the depth of Bonnie and Clyde's relationship. Dialogue is well-written and the tension in the scene is palpable. The scene sets up the tension of the upcoming showdown with law enforcement."
Weaknesses "The plot does not advance much, and the dream of starting over feels unrealistic given their situation."
Critique This scene is well-written and effectively conveys the characters' emotions and personalities. The dialogue is natural and reveals the tensions in Bonnie and Clyde's relationship, as well as their desire to start anew. The use of physical action, such as Bonnie burying herself in Clyde's chest, helps to emphasize their emotional states. Overall, this scene effectively advances the story and the characters' arcs. One small critique is that some actions, such as Bonnie and Clyde carrying groceries to the car, could be trimmed for pacing.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, I would recommend the following changes to improve this scene:

1. Develop the emotional buildup: The scene lacks emotional depth and buildup. Developing tension between Bonnie and Clyde before the proposal can make it more impactful and emotional.

2. Show deeper emotions: The emotions displayed by Bonnie and Clyde are too shallow. Show deeper emotions by having them talk about their fears, doubts, and uncertainties.

3. Make the dialogues more realistic: The dialogues between Bonnie and Clyde feel forced and unrealistic. Make them more natural and realistic by adding pauses, hesitations, and interruptions.

4. Give more detail about the characters: The characters lack depth. Adding more details about their personalities, backgrounds, and relationships can make them more relatable and interesting.

5. Add more action: The scene lacks action. Adding more action by having the characters do something while talking can make it more compelling. For example, having Bonnie and Clyde pack their bags or prepare for their next robbery can add more tension to the scene.

By making these changes, the scene can become more emotional, realistic, and engaging.

Scene 43 -  The Escape
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9

Boy, my feet are sweatin'.

He takes off his shoes.

(kidding around)
You plannin' to drive with your
shoes off?

Sure, why not?

He reaches in his shirt pocket and takes out his sunglasses.
As he goes to put them on, one of the lenses falls out.


He puts them on.

You gonna wear 'em?

Sure, drive with one eye shut.

BONNIE gets in the car, rummages around in one of the bags
and pulls out something wrapped in tissue paper. She
unwraps it and puts it up on the dashboard, displaying it.
It is a little porcelain shepherdess holding a crook in her
hand, worth about thirty cents.


(admiring it)
Isn't that the prettiest thing, hon?
Just look here, you can see every
little fingernail on her hands.

She shows him.

It is a pretty thing, honey.

CLYDE turns on the radio and gets some hillbilly music.
They are singing "Little Church in the Valley." He beats
time on the steering wheel, getting a little impatient.
BONNIE puts her shepherdess away and begins looking in the
grocery sack.
We got any peaches? I sure could
go for a peach right now.

She burrows in the bag and comes out with a peach. She
takes a big bite. The juice drips down the side of her
mouth. She looks beautiful.

(he stops drumming
his fingers, suddenly
has an idea)
Whyn't we do it tomorrow?

Do what?

Tomorrow's Sunday, ain't it? We
could drive all night and be on
that golf course tomorrow morning!

You sure you feel up to it?

Yeah, why not?
(now feeling anxious
and excited, he is
impatient to move)
Where is that boy? He's gone too


(humming to the radio)
He'll be here.
(holding the peach to him)
You take a bite, hon.

(getting worried)
No, it's takin' too long. What if
something happened?

Nothin' happened.
(more urgently)
Go take a look, see what's keepin'

Not too delighted with the chore, BONNIE goes off. We
remain with CLYDE, getting anxious. The music plays on.
BONNIE comes back, hurriedly, now anxious herself.

He ain't there.

CLYDE jumps into action, slams his door.

C'mon, let's go.

BONNIE gets in. They drive off.


--hiding inside a store, peering out through a curtained
window at them driving away. His expression is disturbed;
his face half in shadow.


BONNIE and CLYDE's car coming down the road. Camera sees
from CLYDE's P.O.V. MALCOLM standing in the road, waving
him down. The pickup truck, its back jacked up, is parked
beside him on a shoulder of the road.


What's wrong?

I don't know.

Genres: ["Romance","Drama","Crime"]

Summary B&C reflect on their relationship, talk about marriage and their dreams before the tension and fear arise because of Malcolm warning C.W. about them and the witness talking to authorities. They make love while key events unfold outside.
Strengths "Strong character development, use of mood and tension to imply danger and conflict"
Weaknesses "Little action happening on-screen, key events occurring off-screen"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with good dialogue and a clear sense of the characters' personalities. The dialogue feels natural and realistic, and there are some humorous moments that add some levity to the scene.

However, one potential critique is that there doesn't seem to be a clear purpose or goal for the scene. While it's clear that Bonnie and Clyde are on their way to some kind of job or heist, there isn't a clear sense of what they're working towards in this particular moment. The scene feels more like a snapshot of their lives rather than a meaningful moment that drives the story forward.

Additionally, there are a few moments where the descriptions could be more visual and detailed. For example, when Bonnie unwraps the porcelain shepherdess, there could be more descriptions of the object itself to help the reader visualize it better.

Overall, this is a well-written scene with strong dialogue and characters, but could benefit from a clearer sense of purpose and more detailed descriptions.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve the scene would be to increase the sense of tension and urgency. Perhaps Clyde could have a sense of unease throughout the scene, and their conversation could be interrupted by the sound of a police siren or a car screeching to a halt nearby. This would create a more suspenseful atmosphere and make the audience more invested in what's happening.

Additionally, there could be more characterization and development for Bonnie and Clyde themselves. Perhaps they could have a discussion or argument that shows more of their personalities or their relationship dynamic. This would add depth to the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more visual interest or action. For example, instead of just talking in the car, Bonnie and Clyde could be driving through a scenic or interesting location, or there could be more shots of the exterior of the car and the road. This would add variety and make the scene more visually engaging.

Scene 44 -  The Ambush
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 6
  • Dialogue: 2

CLYDE reaches the spot, pulls off the road and stops the car.
He gets out. Camera pulls back. CLYDE talks to the old
man, BONNIE stays in the car. Cut to a shut down the trench
of the law, tense.

Suddenly, a truck loaded with chickens comes riding down the
road from the opposite direction. HAMER sees it from a long
way away and realizes that he cannot afford to let anything
pass between him and his quarry. He decides the time is now.
He leaps up from the trench and yells at CLYDE.


The OLD MAN dives under his truck to hide. The shooting

We see the chicken truck. Two men in the front seat. They
see ahead of them an incredible shooting match and, in
terror, they jam on the brakes and leap out of the truck.
They run as fast as they can into the meadow, away from the

The gun fight takes just seconds during which law fires
eight-seven shots at BONNIE and CLYDE, giving them absolutely
no chance. The sound is rapid, deafening.

At no point in the gun fight do we see BONNIE and CLYDE in
motion. We see, instead, two still photographs cut into the
sequence: one of Clyde, half out of the car, taking careful
dead aim with his gun, just as he did in the teaching scene:
one of BONNIE, in terror, a pack of cigarettes in her hand
clutched tight, looking as fragile and beautiful as she can

The noise stops at once. Utter silence. It has been a
massacre. BONNIE and CLYDE never had a chance to return the
gunfire. We see the car, a complete shambles. We never see
BONNIE and CLYDE dead, though for a moment we discern their
bodies slumped in the car.

The camera pulls above the car until it is on a level with
the opposite side of the road. Then, slowly, the six lawmen
stand up in the trench. On the faces of the five deputies,
horror and shock at what they have just done. HAMER,
however, registers no emotion. His face is a blank. He
lights a cigarette. Slowly, slowly, the five men begin to
edge closer to the car to see the result. Music, the wild
country breakdown music, begins on the sound track.


Before they reach the car, the camera swings away from them,
past them, and zooms out and above into the meadow where the
two truck drivers are standing--tiny, distant figures.

The truck drivers begin to walk toward the camera, coming
back to the road to see what happened. They get closer and
closer to the camera until they have reached a middle
distance and, as they continue to walk at us, it is--


Genres: ["crime","drama","tragedy"]

Summary The law sets up an ambush for Bonnie and Clyde and a shootout ensues, resulting in the death of the couple. The lawmen and truck drivers come to see the aftermath as the camera pulls away.
Strengths "Intense shootout that moves the plot forward and resolves the major conflict of the film."
Weaknesses "Limited dialogue and character development."
Critique Overall, the scene is action-packed and intense, culminating in a tragic end for the main characters. However, there are some areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the scene could benefit from clearer character motivations. While Hamer's desire to catch his quarry is clear, his decision to start shooting seems abrupt and without much justification. Additionally, the motivations of Bonnie and Clyde are unclear. Why did they stop at this spot? What are they discussing with the old man? Clarifying these details would help to deepen the sense of tragedy in the final moments.

Secondly, the use of still photographs during the gunfight is a missed opportunity. Rather than relying on these static images, the scene could be made much more thrilling through dynamic camera work and inventive editing techniques.

Finally, the ending feels too abrupt. The shift in focus to the truck drivers is a strange choice, and the lack of resolution for the main characters feels unsatisfying. Bringing closure to their story, whether through a shot of their bodies in the car or a final voiceover, would leave a stronger impact on the audience.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Develop Bonnie and Clyde's characters more: Throughout the movie, we see Bonnie and Clyde as two charismatic and bold outlaws. However, in the final scene, their characters seem reduced to just being victims of a massacre. Instead, the scene could show them trying to escape or fight back against the lawmen, highlighting their strength and willpower until their inevitable demise.

2. Increase tension: Although the shooting match is tense, it could be heightened by adding more suspenseful music and sound effects. Additionally, the scene could show more close-ups of Bonnie and Clyde's faces and reactions to the gunfire, as well as the lawmen's determination to catch them.

3. Add more action: To make the scene more engaging, it could show Bonnie and Clyde moving around the car, trying to evade the bullets, and strategizing how to escape. Moreover, the shots of Clyde taking aim could be intercut with shots of lawmen trying to get closer to the car, resulting in a more dynamic sequence.

4. Show the aftermath: Instead of just showing the dead bodies slumped in the car, the scene could show the consequences of the shootout, such as injured lawmen or bystanders, or the media circus that followed the incident.

5. Give closure to the story: As the movie ends abruptly with the truck drivers walking towards the camera, it could benefit from a closing shot that summarizes the impact of Bonnie and Clyde's story on society, or offers a final reflection on their legacy.