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Scene 1 -  Inception
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INCEPTION

By

Christopher Nolan




SHOOTING SCRIPT
FADE IN:

DAWN. CRASHING SURF.

The waves TOSS a BEARDED MAN onto wet sand. He lies there.

A CHILD’S SHOUT makes him LIFT his head to see: a LITTLE
BLONDE BOY crouching, back towards us, watching the tide eat
a SANDCASTLE. A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL joins the boy. The Bearded
Man tries to call them, but they RUN OFF, FACES UNSEEN. He
COLLAPSES.

The barrel of a rifle ROLLS the Bearded Man onto his back. A
JAPANESE SECURITY GUARD looks down at him, then calls up the
beach to a colleague leaning against a JEEP. Behind them is a
cliff, and on top of that, a JAPANESE CASTLE.

INT. ELEGANT DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - LATER

The Security Guard waits as an ATTENDANT speaks to an ELDERLY
JAPANESE MAN sitting at the dining table, back to us.

ATTENDANT
(in Japanese)
He was delirious. But he asked for
you by name. And...
(to the Security Guard)
Show him.

SECURITY GUARD
(in Japanese)
He was carrying nothing but this...

He puts a HANDGUN on the table. The Elderly Man keeps eating.

SECURITY GUARD
...and this.

The Security Guard places a SMALL PEWTER CONE alongside the
gun. The Elderly Man STOPS eating. Picks up the cone.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in Japanese)
Bring him here. And some food.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

The Elderly Man watches the Bearded Man WOLF down his food.
He SLIDES the handgun down the table towards him.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in English)
Are you here to kill me?

The Bearded Man glances up at him, then back to his food.
2.

The Elderly Japanese Man picks up the cone between thumb and
forefinger.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I know what this is.

He SPINS it onto a table- it CIRCLES gracefully across the
polished ebony... a SPINNING TOP.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I’ve seen one before. Many, many
years ago...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES at the top mesmerized.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
It belonged to a man I met in a
half-remembered dream...

MOVE IN on the GRACEFULLY SPINNING TOP...

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
A man possessed of some radical
notions...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES, remembering...

COBB (V.O.)
What’s the most resilient parasite?

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary A bearded man washes up on the shore and is taken to an elderly Japanese man in a castle. The man shows the bearded man a spinning top and mentions a dream in which he met a man with radical notions. The scene ends with a voiceover asking a question about resilient parasites.
Strengths "Establishes a sense of mystery and intrigue, introduces the concept of the spinning top which is an important plot point, starts the film with action and a visually stunning location."
Weaknesses "The characters aren't fully developed yet and the conflict and emotional impact are relatively low."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written and intriguing. The action and dialogue are concise and keep the viewer engaged. However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made.

First, the introduction of the little blonde boy and girl seems a bit extraneous. While they add to the atmosphere and mystery of the scene, they don't serve much purpose beyond that. If they were removed, the scene would still flow and make sense.

Secondly, the dialogue between the Security Guard and the Attendant, both in Japanese, could benefit from translation or subtitles for clarity. While it's not essential to understand everything they are saying, it would add to the overall understanding of the scene.

Finally, the transition from the Elderly Japanese Man's dreamlike reminiscing to Cobb's voiceover about a "resilient parasite" is a bit abrupt. A smoother transition or clearer connection between the two would enhance the impact of the ending and leave the viewer with a more powerful impression.

Overall, this is a well-executed and engaging scene but could benefit from a few minor improvements.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the setting: While the Japanese castle is mentioned, it is unclear where this scene takes place until we are suddenly in an elegant dining room. Consider establishing the location more clearly at the beginning of the scene or using establishing shots to orient the audience.

2. Build tension: The scene could benefit from more tension and conflict. The Bearded Man seems too passive, and the Elderly Japanese Man appears untroubled by the situation. Consider adding more dialogue that hints at the danger or stakes of the situation.

3. Develop the characters: Neither the Bearded Man nor the Elderly Japanese Man are given much backstory or characterization. Consider adding more detail that helps the audience understand who they are and why they are in this situation.

4. Introduce the main plot earlier: The reference to the "resilient parasite" and the idea of Inception is a tantalizing hook, but it does not come until the end of the scene. Consider introducing these elements earlier to grab the audience's attention and establish the central conflict of the story.



Scene 2 -  The Extraction Pitch
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. SAME ELEGANT DINING ROOM - NIGHT (YEARS EARLIER)

The speaker, COBB, is 35, handsome, tailored. A young
Japanese man, SAITO, eats as he listens.

COBB
A bacteria? A virus?

Cobb gestures at their feast with his wine glass-

COBB
An intestinal worm?

Saito’s fork pauses, mid-air. Cobb GRINS. A third man is at
the table- ARTHUR. He jumps in to save the pitch-

ARTHUR
What Mr. Cobb is trying to say-

COBB
An idea.

Saito looks at Cobb, curious.
3.

COBB
Resilient, highly contagious. Once
an idea’s taken hold in the brain
it’s almost impossible to
eradicate. A person can cover it
up, ignore it- but it stays there.

SAITO
But surely-to forget...?

COBB
Information, yes. But an idea?
Fully formed, understood? That
sticks...
(taps forehead)
In there, somewhere.

SAITO
For someone like you to steal?

ARTHUR
Yes. In the dream state, conscious
defenses are lowered and your
thoughts become vulnerable to
theft. It’s called extraction.

COBB
But, Mr. Saito, we can train your
subconscious to defend itself from
even the most skilled extractor.

SAITO
How can you do that?

COBB
Because I am the most skilled
extractor. I know how to search
your mind and find your secrets. I
know the tricks, and I can teach
them to your subconscious so that
even when you’re asleep, your guard
is never down.

Cobb leans forwards. Holding Saito’s gaze.

COBB
But if I’m going to help you, you
have to be completely open to me.
I’ll need to know my way around
your thoughts better than your
wife, your analyst, anyone.
(gestures around)
If this is a dream and you’ve got a
safe full of secrets, I need to
know what’s in that safe. For this
to work, you have to let me in.
4.

Saito gives this a flicker of a smile. Rises. A BODYGUARD
opens double doors which give onto a LAVISH PARTY.

SAITO
Gentlemen. Enjoy your evening as I
consider your proposal.

They watch Saito leave. Arthur turns to Cobb, worried-

ARTHUR
He knows.

Cobb motions silence. A TREMOR starts, they steady their
glasses, Cobb glances at his watch- THE SECOND HAND IS
FROZEN.

ARTHUR
What’s going on up there?

And we-

CUT TO:

FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Cobb, ASLEEP, SITTING IN A CHAIR AT THE END OF A STEAMING
BATH. The chair is up on a cabinet- the bottom of the legs
level with the rim of the tub.

A sweating man (40's) watches over Cobb. This is NASH. A
distant EXPLOSION rumbles through the room. Nash moves to the
window, parts the curtains. Outside: a CHAOTIC DEVELOPING-WORLD
CITY- the street filled with RIOTERS- SMASHING, BURNING.

Nash checks Cobb's left wrist: above his watch, tape holds
TWO THIN YELLOW TUBES in place. Nash looks at Cobb's watch-
THE SECOND HAND CRAWLS UNNATURALLY SLOWLY.

Nash follows the tubes to a SILVER BRIEFCASE at Arthur's
feet: ARTHUR IS ASLEEP in an armchair. Tubes connect the
briefcase to Arthur's wrist.

Nash follows another set of tubes from the briefcase to where
they pass under the door to the bedroom. Through the crack of
the door, Nash sees SAITO ASLEEP on the bed, tubes running to
his wrist. BOOM- a closer EXPLOSION, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Nash, ASLEEP. Head ROCKING AGAINST THE WINDOW as the train
BUMPS OVER A ROUGH PIECE OF TRACK.
5.

A Japanese Man, TODASHI (18) watches Nash nervously. He
checks Nash's wrist: TWO YELLOW TUBES CONNECT NASH WITH THREE
OTHER SLEEPING MEN IN THE COMPARTMENT: COBB, ARTHUR, SAITO.

Todashi checks his watch: THE SECOND HAND TICKS IN REAL TIME.
Another TRAIN PASSES in the opposite direction with a MIGHTY
WHUMP− Todashi's eyes FLY to Nash's sleeping face-

NASH JERKS WITH THE MOVEMENT OF THE TRAIN, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Another EXPLOSION- Nash CHECKS the sleeping Cobb and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary Cobb pitches his extraction expertise to Saito, explaining that ideas can be stolen from the subconscious mind in dreams. He offers to train Saito's subconscious to protect his thoughts from theft. Nash monitors the sleeping team connected by tubes and briefcases.
Strengths "Strong and intriguing concept, tension building through use of monitoring and explosions."
Weaknesses "Lack of action, heavy exposition may be confusing for some viewers."
Critique Overall, this is a well-written and engaging scene. The dialogue is natural and easy to follow, and the premise of the conversation is exciting. However, there are a few areas of critique:

1. There is quite a bit of exposition in this scene, which can make it feel a bit heavy-handed. Specifically, Arthur's line about "what Mr. Cobb is trying to say" feels like unnecessary hand-holding for the audience.

2. The scene could benefit from a bit more visual description, particularly in the earlier part of the conversation. Adding more detail about the room and the characters' actions would make the scene more grounded and immersive.

3. At times, the scene feels a bit rushed. There are several cuts between different locations and characters, which can be disorienting for the viewer. Slowing down the pace of the scene and allowing the conversation to evolve more gradually would make it feel more natural and engaging.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well written and effectively establishes the concept of "extraction" as a central plot device. However, there are a few suggestions that could add to its impact:

1. Add more tension: The stakes of the scene are high, but there is not much sense of immediate danger. Consider adding more urgency or conflict to the dialogue or action to heighten the tension. For example, have Saito express more resistance to the idea of having his mind infiltrated, or have the bodyguard act more menacingly toward the trio.

2. Cut down on exposition: While it's important to establish the rules and limits of "extraction," the dialogue can feel a bit heavy-handed at times. Consider trimming down some of the explanations and letting the audience piece things together more gradually.

3. Increase the visual interest: Because the scene takes place entirely in one location and features mostly talking, it may benefit from incorporating more visual interest. Perhaps show some flashbacks or dream sequences to illustrate the concept more concretely. Alternatively, incorporate more imagery from the lavish party outside or the developing-world city visible from the bathroom.

4. Add more character dynamics: While Cobb, Arthur, and Saito have distinct personalities, their interactions in this scene are mostly straightforward. Consider adding more complexity to their relationships or revealing new information about their individual agendas. For example, perhaps Arthur has a personal stake in the extraction that he is hiding from Cobb and Saito.



Scene 3 -  The Heist Begins
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. ROOFTOP TERRACES, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

A LOW TREMOR RUMBLES THROUGH THE CASTLE. Cobb and Arthur
steady themselves against the wooden rail. Several TILES and
pieces of MASONRY fall. Below them a BLACK SEA churns. Other
GUESTS wander the massive terraces.

ARTHUR
Saito knows. He's playing with us.

COBB
I can get it here. The
information's in the safe− he
looked right at it when I mentioned
secrets.

Arthur nods. Then spots someone over Cobb's shoulder.

ARTHUR
What's she doing here, Cobb?

Cobb turns to see a beautiful woman, elegantly dressed,
staring out at the sea. This is MAL. Cobb watches her.

COBB
You just get to your room. I'll
take care of the rest.

ARTHUR
See that you do. We're here to
work.

Arthur brushes past Mal, shaking his head. She nears Cobb.
Looks out at the DROP. The WIND WHIPS HER HAIR-

MAL
If I jumped, would I survive?
6.

COBB
With a clean dive, perhaps. Mal,
why are you here?

She turns to look at him. Amused.

MAL
I thought you might be missing
me...

She smiles. He leans in, mesmerized.

COBB
I am. But I can't trust you
anymore.

She stares up at him, inviting.

MAL
So what?

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Mal sips champagne as she studies a painting by Francis
Bacon.

MAL
Looks like Arthur's taste.

Cobb is looking down through the window at the GUARDS
patrolling the castle at ground level.

COBB
Actually, Mr. Saito is partial to
postwar British painters.

He turns to Mal, donning a pair of black leather gloves.

COBB
Would you sit down?

Mal lowers herself gracefully into a leather wingback chair.
Cobb approaches, pulls out a length of BLACK ROPE and kneels
at Mal's feet. She looks down at him.

MAL
Tell me...

Cobb TIES the rope around the CHAIR LEGS.

MAL
Do the children miss me?

Cobb pauses. He lets his gloved fingers lightly touch Mal's
ankle. He looks up at her.
7.

COBB
You can't imagine.

Mal looks away, uncomfortable. Cobb gets to his feet, letting
out the rope as he moves back to the window.

MAL
What're you doing?

Cobb tosses the rope out-

COBB
Getting some air.

He tugs on the rope, testing. The weight of the chair, with
Mal on it, holds.

COBB
Stay seated. Please.

And with that, he JUMPS. Mal considers the open window.

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb RAPPELS down the wall, darting past windows. He stops at
a particular one. Gets out a glass cutter-

Suddenly he starts DROPPING-

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

The EMPTY CHAIR SLIDES across the floor- WEDGES under the
window-

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb JOLTS to a stop 15 ft. lower. He looks up at the bedroom
window. Shakes his head. Starts climbing back.

INT. KITCHEN, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb drops silently from the window into the darkened
kitchen. He pulls a PISTOL from his belt, screwing a SILENCER
onto the barrel as he GLIDES across the room.

INT. HALL, JAPANESE CASTLE-CONTINUOUS

Cobb SLIPS through the shadows towards a GUARD stationed at
the head of a GRAND STAIRCASE...

The Guard HEARS something- TURNS- PEERS into the shadows...

Cobb FLASHES out of the shadows, silenced pistol up, AIMING-
8.

PHHT- head shot- the Guard starts to drop... but Cobb is
already there to CATCH him, sliding on his knees and lowering
the Guard SILENTLY to the floor.
Genres: ["action","thriller"]

Summary Cobb and Arthur prepare to extract information from a safe while navigating the dangers of a Japanese castle. Mal, Cobb's ex-wife, interrupts and tries to distract him. Cobb ties Mal to a chair and repels down the wall to break into the bedroom. He then takes out a guard on his way to the safe.
Strengths "The scene is filled with tension and action as the characters navigate the dangers of the castle. The relationship between Cobb and Mal adds an emotional layer to the scene. The use of the rope and the window in the heist adds visual interest."
Weaknesses "The dialogue between Cobb and Mal lacks subtlety and feels forced at times. The scene relies heavily on tropes of the heist genre."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with good pacing and tension-building. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

- The dialogue between Arthur and Cobb could use a bit more depth and subtext. As it stands, it's pretty straightforward and lacking in nuance.
- Mal's entrance feels a bit forced and contrived. It's not entirely clear why she's there or what her motivations are.
- The action scene at the end is well-choreographed, but could benefit from more sensory detail to really immerse the reader in the moment.

Overall, this scene shows potential but could use some revisions to really make it shine.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue. However, there are some suggestions that could improve it:

1. Clarify the stakes: It's not entirely clear what Cobb and Arthur are trying to accomplish, and what the consequences will be if they fail. Adding some context or explanation could help increase tension and stakes.

2. Focus on character motivation: The interaction between Cobb and Mal feels a bit disjointed and unclear. Providing more insight into their history and motivations could make their conversation more compelling.

3. Tighten up the action: Some of the action descriptions feel overly detailed and could be condensed or trimmed down to create a faster pace. For example, the description of Cobb testing the weight of the chair with Mal in it slows down the momentum of the scene.

4. Include sensory details: The scene takes place at night, and there is wind and falling debris. Incorporating more sensory details could help immerse the audience in the setting and increase tension.



Scene 4 -  The Heist Goes Wrong
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb moves to a PAINTING. With practiced hands he removes it
from the wall, revealing a SAFE. Cobb spins the dial, pulls
it OPEN, GRABS an envelope from within, stuffs it into his
waistband, where there is already an IDENTICAL ENVELOPE.

LIGHTS COME ON. Cobb freezes.

SAITO (O.S.)
Turn around.

Cobb turns. At the far end of the room: Saito. Next to him is
Mal, gun in hand. She smiles at Cobb.

MAL
The gun, Dom.

Cobb doesn't move. Mal motions outside- two GUARDS drag
Arthur into the room. Mal puts the gun to his head.

MAL
Please.

Cobb slowly places his gun at his end of the long table, then
SLIDES it along the polished ebony. It comes to rest HALFWAY
down the length or the table.

SAITO
Now the envelope, Mr. Cobb.

Cobb reaches into his waistband, removes ONE of the
envelopes, SLIDES it along the table. Steps back, hands
raised.

COBB
Did she tell you, or have you known
all along?

SAITO
That you're here to steal from me?
(beat)
Or that we're actually asleep?

Arthur gives Cobb an I-told-you-so look.

SAITO
I want to know who your employer
is.

Mal COCKS the gun at Arthur's temple.
9.

COBB
No point threatening him in a
dream.

MAL
That depends on what you're
threatening. Killing him would just
wake him up... but pain? Pain is in
the mind...

Mal LOWERS the gun and SHOOTS Arthur in the leg- Arthur
drops, SCREAMING- Mal looks at Cobb, cold.

MAL
And, judging by the decor, we're in
your mind, aren't we, Arthur?

Cobb watches Arthur's PAIN. Mal aims at Arthur's other leg...

Cobb SPRINGS for the table, SKIDDING along its polished
surface- he GRABS his gun- SHOOTS ARTHUR BETWEEN THE EYES-

Arthur DROPS- the room starts to SHUDDER in a MASSIVE
EARTHQUAKE− Cobb SPRINGS for the door- Arthur's eyes stare at
the ceiling, DEAD, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Arthur's EYES OPEN as he WAKES IN THE ARMCHAIR- he GRABS at
the tubes at his wrist, YANKING them free-

NASH
What're you doing?! It's too soon-

FLUID spurts from the tubes as Arthur STRUGGLES with the
SILVER CASE on the bathroom floor.

ARTHUR
I know! We have to reconnect the
loop before they wake up!

Arthur grabs the case and pushes through the door to the
bedroom− following the tubes to where they meet Saito's wrist-
SAITO LIES ON THE BED ASLEEP. Saito STIRS and we-

CUT TO:

INT. JAPANESE CASTLE CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Cobb LURCHES towards the stairs, as all around him the
building BUCKS and HEAVES-
10.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito and the Guards PANIC. Mal walks calmly through the
destruction, picks up the envelope and turns to Saito.

MAL
He was close. Very close.

EXT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb runs up the stairs, pulling out the SECOND ENVELOPE-

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito RIPS open the envelope, pulls out sheets of paper. He
looks at Mal, PANICKED. He turns to the Guards-

SAITO
Stop him!

Mal, confused, looks at the sheets of paper: THEY ARE BLANK.
Mal smiles, amused.

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

As Cobb runs up the stairs he reads the TYPEWRITTEN SHEETS
from his envelope, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Arthur OPENS the silver case: a COMPLEX MECHANISM of TUBES,
SYRINGES, DOSAGE CONTROLLERS. Arthur's hands fly across the
machine's controls as he glances at Saito's STIRRING face-

ARTHUR
I'm not going to make it! Wake
Cobb!

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash turns to Cobb. Raises his hand and SMACKS him across the
face, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb is SMASHED sideways off his feet...
11.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

The CEILING CRACKS above Saito- he looks up as a TON of STONE
floods down, CRUSHING HIM and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes FLICKER OPEN. AWAKE.

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash SMACKS Cobb again-

NASH
He won't wake!

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-CONTINUOUS

Arthur crouched by Saito, connects the second tube.

ARTHUR
Dunk him!

A CLICK: Arthur looks up to find Saito with a gun to his head
and a finger to his lips, gesturing silence...

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash puts his hand on Cobb's forehead and PUSHES HIM
BACKWARDS− as Cobb starts to FALL BACKWARDS in the chair we
are in SLOW MOTION, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["action","thriller"]

Summary Cobb and his team attempt to steal information from Saito's dream. As they retrieve the information, they are confronted by Saito and Mal with guns. Arthur is used as a bargaining chip, but Cobb ultimately kills him to escape. The dream becomes unstable and the team wakes up to find they must reconnect a machine to prevent permanent damage to Saito's mind.
Strengths "Intense action and conflict, well-defined and complex characters"
Weaknesses "Some dialogue feels clich\u00e9d"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-paced and full of tension and action, which is essential for a heist or action movie. However, there are a few areas that could be improved. Firstly, some of the actions and dialogue seem a bit unrealistic or forced. For example, Mal's comment about pain being in the mind, and her shooting Arthur in the leg, seem overly cruel and illogical even for a villain. Additionally, the dialogue between Saito and Cobb feels a bit on the nose and could benefit from more subtlety or nuance.

Another issue is that character development and relationships are not fully explored. The motivations and backgrounds of some of the characters, particularly Mal, are not fully fleshed out, which makes it harder for the audience to empathize or connect with them.

Lastly, the description and setting could be more vivid and detailed. While the actions are clearly outlined, there is relatively little description of the surroundings beyond the bare minimum needed to understand the scene. Further details about the Japanese castle and its decor, or the characters' emotions and physical reactions, could heighten the tension and make the scene more immersive.

Overall, while there are areas for improvement, this scene has a strong foundation and with some tweaks could become an even more thrilling and impactful part of the larger story.
Suggestions The scene needs more clarity in terms of character motivations. It's hard to understand why Mal and Saito are so willing to harm Arthur, besides for the fact that he's in the way. It would be helpful to have some explanation or backstory about their intentions or relationships with Cobb and Arthur. Additionally, some of the action sequences could be simplified so they are easier to follow. For example, instead of having a massive earthquake, it could be something simpler like the building shaking or rumbling. Finally, adding some more sensory details like sound effects or music could enhance the overall impact of the scene.



Scene 5 -  Audition
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb, full speed, picks himself up, scrambling to read the
last sheet of paper. He stares at it PUZZLED- bullets hit
around him as the Guards race up the stairs and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb in SLOW MOTION, hits the WATER- head THRASHING as he
goes under- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb glances up from the paper as WATER EXPLODES IN THROUGH
ALL THE WINDOWS, FLOODING THE ENTIRE HALL-
12.

COBB IS SWAMPED BY WATER, SPUN IN ALL DIRECTIONS AT ONCE- HE
PULLS DEEPER OR FOR THE SURFACE, WE CAN'T TELL...

HE BREAKS THE SURFACE, GASPING FOR AIR IN THE BATHTUB IN THE-

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb’s AWAKE, GULPING AIR, getting his bearings.

Saito SMASHES into the room, KNOCKING Nash down- Cobb
LAUNCHES himself out of the tub, FLYING dripping wet across
the room to SLAM Saito against the door- the gun DROPS,
Cobb's fist CONNECTS with Saito's jaw and the struggle is
over.

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb, wet but composed, sits, turning Saito's gun in his
hand. Nash holds Saito's arms behind him. Outside, the sounds
of RIOTING grow louder.

COBB
You came prepared.

SAITO
I bring the gun because not even my
head of security knows this
apartment. How did you find it?

Arthur, at the window, looks out at the WORSENING VIOLENCE.

COBB
Hard for a man in your position to
keep a love nest totally secret...
particularly when there's a married
woman involved.

SAITO
She would never...

COBB
And yet, here we are.

Saito is silent.

COBB
With a dilemma.

SAITO
You got what you came for.

COBB
Not quite. The key piece of
information wasn't there, was it,
Mr. Saito?
13.

Arthur looks over at Cobb, worried.

ARTHUR
They're getting closer, Cobb.

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi slips a pair of HEADPHONES over Nash's ears, then
pulls out an MP3 player and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes are on the floor.

COBB
You held something back because you
knew what we were up to...

Cobb uses the barrel of the gun to raise Saito's chin.

COBB
So why let us in at all?

Saito smiles, defiant. VIOLENT NOISES echo up the stairway...

SAITO
An audition.

COBB
Audition for what?

SAITO
It doesn't matter. You failed.

COBB
I extracted all the information you
had in there.

SAITO
But your deception was readily
apparent.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi opens the SILVER BRIEFCASE, revealing the complex
mechanism of syringes and controllers- FOUR CONTROLLERS
DISPLAY COUNTDOWNS.
14.

Todashi waits for the first countdown to hit "30," then HITS
PLAY on the MP3 player- He watches Nash's sleeping face as he
RAISES the volume...

Through Nash's headphones: the opening bars of Edith Piaf's
"Non, je ne regrette rien," and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

In the distant background, strange MASSIVE low-end MUSICAL
start, sounding like DISTANT HORNS...

SAITO
So leave me and go.

COBB
You know the corporation who hired
us won't accept failure. We won't
last two days...

The DISTANT, SLOWED-DOWN MUSIC is becoming LOUDER, as are the
SHOUTS coming up the stairs. Arthur looks at his watch, its
SLOW SECOND TICKING MARKS TIME WITH THE MASSIVE MUSIC.

ARTHUR
Come on, Cobb.

COBB
So now I have to do this the old-
fashioned way-

Cobb GRABS SAITO AND PUTS HIS HEAD TO THE FLOOR, gun pressed
into his cheek. Saito looks into Cobb's eyes- sees he will
pull the trigger. Saito BLINKS, looks away in shame-

When he NOTICES SOMETHING. And starts LAUGHING.

SAITO
I've always hated this carpet.

Cobb’s eyes flick to the carpet and back.

SAITO
It's stained and frayed in such
distinctive ways...

Cobb looks up at Nash, who shrugs, at a loss.

SAITO
But very definitely made of wool.
Right now I'm lying on polyester.
15.

Cobb glares at Nash, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi watches the first of the countdowns hit ZERO- He
looks up at Arthur, STIRRING, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb interrogates Saito for information about a job that they had failed to complete. Saito reveals that it was an audition, and Cobb realizes that they were tricked.
Strengths "The tension of the scene is palpable as Cobb and Saito face off, with Cobb resorting to violence to get the information he needs. The unexpected twist of the audition adds a layer of complexity to the plot."
Weaknesses "The scene is somewhat confusing and disjointed as it jumps back and forth between different locations and timeframes."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can provide feedback on the elements of the scene such as characters, dialogue, plot, action, setting, and pacing.

- Characters: The scene features Cobb, Saito, Nash, and Todashi. Cobb is the protagonist, Saito is the antagonist, Nash is a secondary character, and Todashi is an accomplice of Saito's.

- Dialogue: The dialogue is effective in building tension, providing exposition, and revealing character traits. The conversation between Cobb and Saito shows their conflicting goals, distrust, and manipulation of each other.

- Plot: The plot involves Cobb and his team's attempt to retrieve information from Saito, a powerful businessman, by infiltrating his subconscious through dream-sharing technology. Their plan fails, and they are in danger of being caught.

- Action: The scene contains intense action sequences such as Cobb's escape from guards and the flooding of the Japanese castle. The fight scene between Cobb and Saito is well-choreographed, and it showcases Cobb's resourcefulness and physical prowess.

- Setting: The scene features various locations such as a grand staircase, a filthy bathroom, and a dilapidated hotel room. The contrast between the luxurious and rundown settings adds to the atmosphere of the scene.

- Pacing: The pacing of the scene is fast-paced, with quick cuts between different locations and action sequences. However, the dialogue provides moments of brevity and character development.

Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging, with its use of multiple locations, characters, and action sequences. The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and mistrust between the characters, and the action scenes keep the audience on the edge of their seats.
Suggestions Overall, the scene feels disjointed and confusing due to the frequent cutting between different locations. As a screenwriting expert, my suggestions to improve this scene are:

1. Consider condensing the action and limiting the number of locations.

Rather than jumping back and forth between the staircase, bathroom, and hotel room, consider keeping the scene primarily in one location to maintain clarity and focus. For example, the entire confrontation could take place in the hotel room with Saito and Cobb.

2. Provide more character development.

The scene could benefit from more exploration of the characters' motivations and emotions. For instance, why is Saito so nonchalant about being caught in a love nest? How does Cobb feel about threatening him with a gun?

3. Increase tension and stakes.

The stakes in this scene don't feel particularly high, even with the mention of the corporation not accepting failure. Adding a sense of urgency or danger could heighten the tension and make the scene more engaging. Perhaps the rioting outside could escalate and threaten the safety of the characters, or the countdown on the syringes in the bullet train could become more urgent.

4. Simplify the action.

The action in this scene feels overly complicated with multiple cuts back and forth and the use of slow motion and music. Simplifying the action and focusing on a few key moments could make the scene more impactful.



Scene 6 -  The Dream Heist Part 2
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-DAY

Saito turns from the carpet to look up at Cobb.

SAITO
Which means I'm not lying on my
carpet, in my apartment...
(smiles)
You've lived up to your reputation,
Mr. Cobb... I'm still dreaming.

Cobb looks over to Arthur, but ARTHUR HAS VANISHED, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur's eyes flicker open, AWAKE. He RIPS at his tubes.

TODASHI
How'd it go?

ARTHUR
Not good.

Arthur checks the remaining three countdowns, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito gets to his feet, looking admiringly at Cobb.

SAITO
A dream within a dream-I'm
impressed.

Cobb lowers the gun. Defeated. Glances at his watch. The
music REVERBERATES, the RIOTERS BANG ON THE DOOR, and we-

CUT TO:
16.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur retracts the tubes into the case as he watches the
next countdown hit ZERO, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Another BANG on the door- Saito, confident now, approaches
Cobb. Nash is behind Saito.

SAITO
But in my dream, we really ought to
be playing by my rules...

NASH
Ah, yes, but you see, Mr. Saito-

Saito turns to Nash-

COBB
We're not in your dream-

Saito turns back to Cobb, BUT COBB HAS VANISHED-

NASH
We're in mine.

Saito SPINS back to Nash- the DOOR SMASHES OFF ITS HINGES AS
RIOTERS POUR INTO THE ROOM, SWARMING OVER NASH... BUT NASH IS
GONE. The music DIES. Saito and the rioters stand there in
the SILENCE, the light DWINDLING... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Nash’ eyes open, AWAKE.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
Asshole!

Nash BLINKS. Arthur is in his face, furious.

ARTHUR
How could you get the carpet
wrong?!

NASH
It wasn't my fault!

ARTHUR
You're the architect-
17.

NASH
I didn't know he was going to rub
his damn cheek on it!

Cobb pulls Arthur away from Nash.

COBB
Lets go.

ARTHUR
And you-what the hell was all that?

COBB
I had it under control.

ARTHUR
I’d hate to see out of control-

COBB
There's no time for this-I'm
getting off at Kyoto.

ARTHUR
Why? He's not gonna search every
compartment.

COBB
I can't stand trains.

Arthur moves to the briefcase. Turns a dial.

ARTHUR
I can keep him under for one minute-

Arthur hits a button- A PLUNGER DEPRESSES. Cobb RIPS the tape
off Saito's wrist, ROLLS up his tubes. Arthur SLAMS the
silver case shut. Todashi pulls open the door-

COBB
Every man for himself.

Arthur and Nash EXIT, heading in different directions down
the corridor. Cobb hands Todashi a thick roll of CASH, looks
at Saito, who stirs. Cobb moves off.

EXT. JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE - CONTINUOUS

The BULLET TRAIN speeds through the lush landscape.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Saito WAKES GENTLY. Looks around the compartment, empty but
for Todashi, reading a comic. Saito looks down at his wrist.
Sees a small mark. Rubs it. SMILES.
18.

EXT. TOKYO - DUSK

Moving over the vast city towards a high rise. A HELICOPTER
thumps into frame, heading for a pad on the roof.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb and his team continue their dream heist in multiple levels of dreams, encountering obstacles, double-crossings, and danger along the way.
Strengths "Intense action and suspense sequences that keep the audience engaged. Good pacing and use of multiple levels of dreams to add complexity to the plot."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue feels clunky and exposition-heavy. Some character motivations are unclear and could be explained better."
Critique Overall, this scene seems to be well-written and engaging. The transitions between the different locations are smooth and the pacing is quick, creating a sense of urgency and tension. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue between Saito and Cobb in the dilapidated hotel room feels a bit contrived and expositional. It’s clear that the purpose of this conversation is to establish that Saito is still dreaming, but the way it’s done feels a bit forced. If possible, it would be more effective to find a way to convey this information more organically.

Secondly, the conversation between Nash and Arthur in the bullet train compartment feels a bit unnecessary. While it does establish that there was a mistake in the dream, it feels like it could have been handled in a more subtle way. Additionally, the dialogue between the two characters feels a bit clunky and unnatural.

Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but could benefit from some tightening up of the dialogue in a few areas.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene lacks clear physical descriptions and sensory details. For example, what does the dilapidated hotel room look like? How does it smell? By including these details, the scene can come alive and immerse the audience in the setting.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved by making it more concise and impactful. The conversation between Saito and Cobb could be shortened to emphasize the important points and create more tension.

Thirdly, the transitions between the different locations could be smoother. Instead of abruptly cutting from one scene to the next, the transitions could be built up through visual and audio cues such as fades and overlapping sounds.

Lastly, the scene could benefit from more action and physical movement. The characters are mostly standing and talking, which can grow stagnant for the audience. Adding in more action and movement can add more visual interest and excitement.



Scene 7 -  Phone Call Home
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. APARTMENT, TOKYO - CONTINUOUS

Cobb sits, waiting. Checks his watch, restless. He pulls a
HANDGUN. Checks it is loaded. places it on the table in front
of him. Pulls out a PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
table ... He INTENT STUDIES the top's spin... As he stares,
the sound of a FREIGHT TRAIN builds and builds- the top
WOBBLES, TIPS onto its side- the sound of the train STOPS.
the PHONE RINGS- Cobb GRABS it-

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Hi, Daddy! Hi, Dad.

COBB
Hey, guys. How are you?

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Good. Okay, I guess.

Cobb closes his eyes, trying to picture his children: INSERT
CUT: COBB's MEMORY- a LITTLE BLONDE BOY (3), back towards us,
crouches IN A GARDEN, looks at something in the grass...

COBB
Who's just okay? Was that James?

JAMES (over phone)
Yeah. When are you coming home?

COBB
I can't. Not for a while.

INSERT CUT: A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL (5), also FACE UNSEEN, joins
JAMES, CROUCHING BESIDE HIM...

JAMES (over phone)
Why?

COBB
Well, James, like I've told you-I'm
away because I'm working...

LITTLE GIRL (over phone)
Grandma says you're never coming
back.

Cobb pauses. Takes a breath. INSERT CUT: James and Philippa,
FACES UNSEEN, lift their heads from the grass, responding to
someone's call− they RUN AWAY FROM US ACROSS THE GARDEN...
19.

COBB
Philippa, can you ask Grandma to
pick up the phone-

PHILIPPA (over phone)
She's shaking her head.

Cobb TENSES, as if about to SMASH the phone.

COBB
Well, we'll just have to hope
Grandma's wrong about that won't
we?

JAMES
(over phone)
Daddy?

COBB
Yes?

JAMES (over phone)
Is Mommy with you?

Cobb looks like he just got punched- INSERT CUT: COBB'S
MEMORY− MAL, WIND BLOWING HER HAIR, SMILES CALMLY...

COBB
No. No, we talked about this,
James. Mommy's gone.

JAMES (over phone)
Where?

GRANDMA'S VOICE (over phone)
Time to go, kids. Say bye-bye-
COBB
I'll give some presents to Grandpa,
okay? Just be good for-

Cobb STARES at the dead phone. Then DOWNS his drink- A KNOCK
at the door. Cobb GRABS the top, the gun- MOVES to the door-
cracks it: Arthur.

ARTHUR
Our ride's on the roof.

Cobb nods. Moves to pick up his bag. Arthur watches.

ARTHUR
Cobb... are you okay?

Cobb looks up.
20.

COBB
Yeah, why?

ARTHUR
Down in the dream... Mal showing up
like that ...

COBB
Yeah. I'm sorry about your leg.

ARTHUR
It's getting worse, isn't it?

COBB
One apology's all you're getting,
Arthur. Now, where's Nash?

ARTHUR
Hasn't shown. Wanna wait?

COBB
(shakes head)
We were supposed to deliver Saito's
expansion plans to Cobol Engineering
two hours ago. By now they know we
failed. Time to disappear.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Arthur head towards the elevator.

ARTHUR
Where will you go?

COBB
Buenos Aires. I can lie low there.
Maybe sniff out a job when things
quiet down. You?

ARTHUR
Stateside.

COBB
(wistful) )
'Course. Send my regards.

Arthur looks at Cobb. Nods. Sympathetic.

EXT. ROOFTOP HELIPAD - NIGHT

The HELICOPTER sits, ROTORS SPINNING. As Cobb and Arthur
reach the door, it SLIDES OPEN. Cobb steps up into the
leather-padded interior. He freezes.
21.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Cobb receives a phone call from his children while spinning a top and holding a gun. He struggles to remain calm as his daughter suggests his mother-in-law thinks he's never coming back. Meanwhile, Arthur checks up on Cobb's well-being before they both leave for their next job.
Strengths "The emotional stakes are clear and add depth to the scene. The use of cuts to Cobb's memories adds visual interest to the phone conversation. The tension is palpable as Cobb struggles to stay calm and Arthur checks on him."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue can feel exposition-heavy, particularly with regard to the children's conversation. The visual reveal of Arthur on the helipad is somewhat predictable."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I do not have preferences or sentiments. However, I can give you some notes on the scene based on general screenwriting principles.

Overall, the scene is well-written and emotionally engaging. The dialogue successfully conveys Cobb's longing for his family, as well as his desperation and fear. The use of flashbacks to his memories of his children and ex-wife adds depth and makes the scene more relatable.

One possible improvement would be to give more details about the setting. For example, what kind of apartment is it, and how does it reflect Cobb's character and situation? Similarly, it would be helpful to know more about the freight train and how it affects Cobb and the environment. Adding more sensory details and descriptions could enhance the scene's impact and immersion.

Another element that could be developed further is the action and tension. While the scene's emotional content is strong, the physical action, such as Cobb grabbing his gun and the phone ringing, feels somewhat anticlimactic. Adding more twists and turns or heightened suspense could make the scene even more engaging and exciting.

Overall, the scene has many strengths, such as its effective use of dialogue and flashbacks to build character and emotion. With some further refinement of the setting and action, it could be even more impactful.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more visual descriptions to enhance the tension and emotion in the scene. For example, when Cobb picks up the gun, the audience could see the sweat on his forehead or his hands trembling slightly. Additionally, when the phone conversation with his children becomes more emotional, the camera could focus on his face, showing the pain and desperation he is feeling.

The scene could also benefit from more clarity in the dialogue, particularly when the children mention their grandmother. It's unclear if they are saying she thinks Cobb will never come back or if she thinks he's not a good father. This could be clarified to make the scene more impactful.

Finally, to improve the pacing, some of the cuts to Cobb's memories could be removed or minimized. While they add emotional depth to the scene, they also disrupt the flow of the dialogue and action. Focusing more on the present moment and Cobb's reactions could make the scene more engaging for the audience.



Scene 8 -  Offer and Choice
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HELICOPTER ON PAD - CONTINUOUS

Nash, BEATEN BLOODY, sits on the far side, slumped against
the wine. Beside him: SAITO. He nods politely at Cobb.

SAITO
He sold you out. Thought to come to
me and bargain for his life...

Saito's BODYGUARD offers Cobb a GUN.

SAITO
So I offer you the satisfaction.

COBB
That's not how I deal with things.

SAITO
Would you work with him again?

Cobb shakes his head. Saito's BODYGUARDS PULL Nash from the
chopper. Saito motions Cobb and Arthur to sit. The chopper
RISES. Cobb watches Nash DRAGGED across the pad.

COBB
What will you do to him?

SAITO
Nothing. But I can't speak for your
friends from Cobol Engineering.

Saito looks out at the city slipping by.

COBB
What do you want from us?

SAITO
Inception.

Arthur raises his eyebrows. Cobb is poker-faced.

SAITO
Is it possible?

ARTHUR
Of course not.

SAITO
If you can steal an idea from
someone's mind, why can't you plant
one there instead?

ARTHUR
Okay, here's planting an idea: I
say to you, "Don't think about
elephants."
(MORE)
22.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
(Saito nods)
What are you thinking about?

SAITO
Elephants.

ARTHUR
Right. But it's not your idea
because you know I gave it to you.

SAITO
You could plant it subconsciously-

ARTHUR
The subject's mind can always trace
the genesis of the idea. True
inspiration is impossible to fake.

COBB
No, it isn't.

SAITO
Can you do it?

COBB
I won't do it.

SAITO
In exchange, I'll give you the
information you were paid to steal.

COBB
Are you giving me a choice? Because
I can find my own way to square
things with Cobol.

SAITO
Then you do have a choice.

COBB
And I choose to leave.

EXT. AIRFIELD - MOMENTS LATER

The helicopter sets down next to a PRIVATE JET.

INT. HELICOPTER - CONTINUOUS

Saito indicates the plane.

SAITO
Tell the crew where you want to go,
they'll file the plan en route.

Cobb and Arthur look at each other. Then move for the door.
23.

SAITO
Mr. Cobb...? There is one other
thing I could offer you.
(Cobb stops)
How would you like to go home? To
America. To your children.

Cobb turns back to Saito.

COBB
You can't fix that. Nobody could.

SAITO
Just like inception.

Cobb considers this. Arthur touches his arm.

ARTHUR
Cobb, come on-

COBB
How complex is the idea?

SAITO
Simple enough.

COBB
No idea's simple when you have to
plant it in someone else's mind.

SAITO
My main competitor is an old man in
poor health. His son will soon
inherit control of the corporation.
I need him to decide to break up
his father's empire. Against his
own self-interest.

ARTHUR
Cobb, we should walk away from
this.

COBB
If I were to do it. If I could do
it... how do I know you can
deliver?

SAITO
You don't. But I can. So do you
want to take a leap of faith, or
become an old man, filled with
regret, waiting to die alone?

Cobb looks at Saito. Barely nods.
24.

SAITO
Assemble your team, Mr. Cobb. And
choose your people more wisely.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Saito offers Cobb the chance to go home in exchange for performing an inception, and Cobb reluctantly agrees, setting up the rest of the film's plot.
Strengths "Engaging dialogue and an intriguing offer that sets up the rest of the story."
Weaknesses "Some of the character motivations are a bit unclear at this point."
Critique This scene is from the movie Inception (2010) and is a well-written and engaging part of the film. The scene is well-paced and tension-filled, creating a sense of urgency and intrigue. The dialogue is sharp and to the point, and the character motivations are clear.

The scene effectively establishes the key plot points and introduces the main characters' conflict. It is the pivotal moment in the film where the protagonist, Cobb, is presented with a choice that will directly affect the rest of the plot.

However, one critique of this scene is that the character development is limited. There is not much insight into the characters' past or psychology, which makes it harder for us to fully understand their motivations and actions. And because the scene is part of a larger context, there are moments where the dialogue is self-contained and may not make sense to those unfamiliar with the film.

Overall, this scene works well within the movie's framework and keeps the audience engaged. However, on its own, it might not hold up as strongly as a standalone script.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions for improving this scene:

1. Develop the characters: While we get a sense of Saito's character and motivations, we don't really know much about Nash, Cobb, or Arthur. It would be helpful to give the audience a little more insight into who these characters are and what drives them.

2. Add tension: Although the scene is meant to be tense, it's could be even more gripping if it had more build-up and suspense. Perhaps we could see Nash being captured earlier in the film or overhear a conversation that hints at the danger he's in before we see him in the helicopter.

3. Use more visual language: Screenplays are a visual medium, so it's important to be as descriptive as possible when writing them. Instead of simply saying "The chopper RISES," for example, the writer could describe the sensation of the chopper lifting off the ground or the rotor blades whirring to life.

4. Simplify the dialogue: While the dialogue in this scene is good, it could be more streamlined. Some of the lines are a bit redundant (for example, when Arthur says, "Cobb, we should walk away from this," and then Cobb essentially repeats the same sentiment).

5. Raise the stakes: While the idea of "inception" is intriguing, it doesn't necessarily feel like the highest stakes. It might be helpful to clarify exactly what will happen if they fail to plant the idea in someone's mind or if they're caught trying to do so. Additionally, if the team members have personal stakes in the outcome (such as if they're doing the job to save a loved one), that would add more tension to the scene.



Scene 9 -  Going Deeper
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. PRIVATE JET - LATER

Cobb reclines his seat. Arthur picks at a salad, angry.

ARTHUR
I know how much you want to go home-

COBB
(sharp)
No, you don't.

ARTHUR
But this can't be done.

COBB
It can. You just have to go deep
enough.

ARTHUR
You don't know that!-

COBB
I've done it before.

Arthur is taken aback. Cobb turns to the window.

ARTHUR
Did it work?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes.

ARTHUR
Who did you do it to?

Cobb looks at Arthur. Closed. Arthur shrugs.

ARTHUR
So why are we headed to Paris?

COBB
We're going to need a new
architect.

INT. GREAT HALL, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MORNING

Cobb, carrying a shopping bag, looks into a lecture hall: no
students, just a RUMPLED PROFESSOR hunched over paperwork.
25.
Genres: ["drama","mystery"]

Summary Cobb and Arthur discuss the possibility of inception and the need for a new architect. Cobb reveals he has done it before.
Strengths "Strong dialogue and character development."
Weaknesses "Limited action in the scene."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-structured with clear dialogue exchanges between the characters. However, it lacks visual depth and action, which can make it less engaging for the audience. Here are some additional notes:

- The setting and characters are not described in detail, which can make it harder for the audience to fully immerse themselves in the scene. Adding some visual cue or character trait could help to ground the scene and give the audience more context.
- The dialogue feels a bit too direct and expository at times. For example, when Arthur says "But this can't be done" and Cobb replies "It can. You just have to go deep enough", it sounds too much like a lecture or a statement of rules rather than a real conversation between two people. In contrast, when Arthur asks "Did it work?" and Cobb answers "Yes", the short and quiet exchange feels more authentic and intriguing. Adding more subtext or nuances to the dialogue could make the scene more dynamic and interesting.
- The transition between the private jet and the architecture school is abrupt and lacks visual continuity. It's not clear how much time has passed between the two scenes, or how Cobb and Arthur got to Paris. Adding some establishing shots or transitional scenes could help to smooth out the pacing and make the audience more invested in the story.
- The scene ends on a bit of an anti-climax, with Cobb simply looking at a professor in a lecture hall. While it's possible that this is meant to be a teaser or a setup for a later scene, it doesn't feel like a satisfying beat for the scene itself. Adding a bit more action or tension, or revealing a bit more about the professor or the architecture school, could help to give the scene a stronger closure or hook.

Overall, the scene has potential but could benefit from more visual and tonal variety, as well as a clearer sense of purpose and stakes.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more tension and drama to the conversation between Cobb and Arthur. Currently, it feels a bit static and could use more emotional depth.

2. Clarify what exactly they are trying to accomplish and why it is so important to Cobb.

3. Show more of Arthur's perspective and why he is resistant to Cobb's plan.

4. Consider adding some backstory to the characters to help the audience understand why they are in this situation.

5. Make the dialogue more concise and impactful. Cut out any filler or unnecessary details.

6. Increase the visual interest of the scene by adding more action or movement. For example, have the private jet encountering turbulence or have Cobb pacing back and forth.

7. Make the transition to the next scene smoother and more logical. It currently feels abrupt and disjointed.



Scene 10 -  The Architect's Offer
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 10
INT. LECTURE HALL - CONTINUOUS

COBB (O.S.)
You never did like your office.

PROFESSOR MILES looks up, squinting. Recognizes Cobb.

MILES
No space to think in that broom
cupboard.

Cobb steps down past the empty wooden rows.

MILES
Is it safe for you to be here?

COBB
Extradition between France and the
U.S. is a bureaucratic nightmare.

MILES
I think they'd find a way to make
it work in your case.

Cobb hand Miles the shopping bag.

COBB
Can you take these back for the
kids?

MILES
It'll take more than the occasional
stuffed animal to convince those
children they still have a father.

COBB
I know. I thought you could talk to
Marie about bringing them on
vacation. Somewhere I could meet-

MILES
Why would she listen to me?

COBB
You were married for twenty years.

MILES
She blames me as much as you.

COBB
Doesn't she understand that my kids
need me?
26.

MILES
Yes, she does. We all do. Go back
and face the music, Dom. Explain
what Mal did.

COBB
Be realistic, Stephen. They'd never
understand− they'd lock me up and
throwaway the key. Or worse.

MILES
You think what you're doing now is
helping your case?

COBB
Lawyers don't pay for themselves.
This is what I have. This is what
you taught me.

MILES
I never taught you to be a thief.

COBB
No, you taught me to navigate other
people's minds. But after what
happened with Mal there weren't a
whole lot of legitimate ways for me
to use that skill.

Miles looks at Cobb.

MILES
Why did you come here, Dom?

Cobb shifts slightly.

COBB
I found a way home. A job. For
powerful people. If I pull it off,
I can get back to my family. But I
need help.

Miles realizes something.

MILES
My God. You're here to corrupt one
of my brightest and best.

COBB
If you have someone good enough,
you have to let them decide for
themselves. You know what I'm
offering-

MILES
Money?
27.

COBB
No, not just money: the chance to
build cathedrals, entire cities-
things that have never existed,
things that couldn't exist in the
real world...

MILES
Everybody dreams, Cobb. Architects
are supposed to make those dreams
real.

COBB
That's not what you used to say.
You told me that in the real world
I'd be building attic conversions
and gas stations. You said that if
I mastered the dream-share I'd have
a whole new way of creating and
showing people my creations. You
told me it would free me.

Miles looks at Cobb, sad.

MILES
And I'm sorry. I was wrong.

COBB
No, you weren't. Your vision was a
vision of pure creativity. It's
where we took it that was wrong.

MILES
And now you want me to let someone
else follow you into fantasy.

COBB
They won't actually come on the
job, they'll just design the levels
and teach them to the dreamers.

MILES
Design them yourself.

COBB
Mal won't let me.

Miles looks at Cobb. Appalled.

MILES
Come back to reality, Dom. Please.

COBB
You want to know what's real,
Stephen? Your grandchildren waiting
for their dad to come back.
(MORE)
28.
COBB (CONT'D)
This job-this last job-is how I get
there.

Miles looks down, fiddles with his papers.

COBB
I wouldn't be standing here if
there were any other way. I can get
home. But I need an architect who's
as good as I was.

Miles looks Cobb in the eye. Decides.

MILES
I've got someone better.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb visits his former mentor, Miles, to ask for help in his latest job offer that could bring him back to his family. Miles is hesitant about the offer, as he worries it could be dangerous and illegal. Cobb insists he needs an architect, and Miles ultimately decides to introduce him to someone better.
Strengths "The conversation between the two characters is intriguing and engaging. The dialogue is well-written and reflective of their relationship. The tension between what Cobb wants and what Miles thinks is best creates an interesting conflict."
Weaknesses "The action is minimal, as the scene is mostly dialogue-driven. The backstory about Cobb's past and his job offer could be confusing to those unfamiliar with the story."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue between Cobb and Miles is natural and reveals their history and motivations. However, there are some areas that could be improved.

First, the scene could benefit from more visual description of the setting and characters. The audience doesn't have much context for where they are, what the characters look like, or any physical actions they are doing. Adding details like the condition of the lecture hall or the expressions on the characters' faces could make the scene more dynamic.

Second, some of the lines feel too expository or on-the-nose. For example, when Miles asks Cobb "Why did you come here, Dom?" it feels like a forced way to get Cobb to explain his motivations. Additionally, when Cobb says "This job-this last job-is how I get there," it feels like a clunky way to explain the stakes of the story. Finding more natural and organic ways to reveal information would make the dialogue feel more authentic.

Overall, this scene does a good job of setting up the conflict and motivation for the rest of the story. With some added description and tweaks to the dialogue, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions 1. Use more active language: Some of the dialogue is passive, which can make the scene feel slow and stagnant. For example, "Miles looks up, squinting. Recognizes Cobb." Instead, try "Miles squints up and recognizes Cobb as he steps down past the empty wooden rows." This makes the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.

2. Add more physical descriptions: The scene could benefit from more physical description of the characters' actions and surroundings. This will help the scene come to life on the page. For example, instead of just saying "Cobb hands Miles the shopping bag," add details like "Cobb reaches into the shopping bag and pulls out a stuffed animal, handing it to Miles with a small smile."

3. Clarify character motivations: It's not always clear why the characters are saying or doing certain things in the scene. Make sure to clarify their motivations and the stakes of the conversation. For example, it's unclear why Miles decides to help Cobb at the end of the scene. Adding more context or dialogue can make this decision feel more earned and impactful.

4. Cut down on exposition: Some of the dialogue feels like it's explaining things to the audience rather than furthering the story or revealing character. Cut down on unnecessary exposition and focus on what's important for the scene and overall plot.

5. Play with the power dynamic: The scene could benefit from more tension and conflict between the characters. Try playing with the power dynamic between Cobb and Miles - maybe Miles is hesitant to help Cobb because of their past history, or maybe Cobb is trying to manipulate Miles into helping him. This will increase the stakes of the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 11 -  The Job Offer
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. CORRIDOR - LATER

Miles and Cobb stand by as STUDENTS file out of a lecture.

MILES
Ariadne...

A young woman carrying books turns. This is ARIADNE.

MILES
I'd like you to meet Mr. Cobb.

She sizes him up with quick eyes. Offers her hand.

ARIADNE
Pleased to meet you.

MILES
If you have a few moments, Mr. Cobb
has a job offer to discuss with
you.

ARIADNE
A work placement?

COBB
(smiles
Not exactly.

EXT. ROOFTOP, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MOMENTS LATER

Ariadne leans against the parapet, overlooking Paris. She
unwraps a sandwich, watching Cobb pull out a pad of GRAPH
PAPER and a PEN. He offers them. She bites her sandwich.

COBB
A test.
29.

ARIADNE
(mouth full)
Aren't you going to tell me
anything?

COBB
Before I describe the job, I have
to know you could do it.

ARIADNE
Why?

COBB
It's not, strictly speaking, legal.

Ariadne raises her eyebrows.

COBB
You have two minutes to draw a maze
that takes me one minute to solve.

Ariadne takes the pad and pen. Cobb looks at his watch.

COBB
Go.

She starts DRAWING LINES on the grid, constructing a maze.

COBB
Stop.

Ariadne hands the pad and pen to Cobb. He glances at the pad,
then, looking her in the eye, TRACES the solution. She is
taken aback. Cobb RIPS off the sheet, hands the pad back.

COBB
Again.

She traces straight lines, CONCENTRATING...

COBB
Stop.

She hands Cobb the pad, a touch pleased. Cobb solves the
puzzle instantly, as before. Her smile falls.

COBB
You'll have to-

She GRABS the pad, frustrated... but this time she FLIPS it
over and starts drawing on the BLANK CARDBOARD of the back.
Cobb watches, surprised. He smiles as he sees that she's
drawing CIRCLES, creating a maze based on concentric rings.

Ariadne hands back the pad, defiant. Cobb takes the pen,
starts the maze. This time he gets stuck. Nods.
30.

COBB
(working the maze)
More like it.

EXT. NARROW STREET, PARIS - DAY

Arthur stops at a warehouse door. Consults a piece of paper.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

A large, dusty warehouse. The SLIDING DOOR cracks open.
Arthur enters. Looks around, approvingly.

INT. SAME - LATER

Arthur DRAGS LAWN CHAIRS into the middle of the room. He
erects a table. Lays out several SILVER CASES, unpacking
them, laying out lines of tubing, MECHANISMS...
Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb meets with Ariadne and offers her a job that involves drawing mazes. She must complete a timed test and impresses Cobb with her innovative approach to the task.
Strengths "The scene sets up an intriguing job offer for Ariadne and establishes her ability to think creatively. The setting of Paris is also visually striking."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat sparse and there is not a lot of character development."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written. It effectively sets up the mystery around Cobb's job offer and gives us a glimpse into Ariadne's talents. However, there are a few areas that could benefit from some improvement.

Firstly, the scene could benefit from more visual description. For example, when Ariadne is drawing the maze, there isn't much description of what is happening visually beyond her drawing lines on a grid. Adding more detail to the visuals would make it easier for the reader to visualize the scene and feel more immersed in it.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved in places. For example, when Cobb says "Not exactly" in response to Ariadne asking about a work placement, it's unclear what he means by that. Some further explanation of what he's offering and why it's not a standard work placement would help to clarify things.

Finally, the scene ends quite abruptly. It's unclear what Arthur is doing in the workshop with the silver cases and tubing, and it's not clear how this scene connects to the previous one. A clearer transition or more explanation would help to create a greater sense of continuity in the story.
Suggestions Overall this scene is well-written and engaging, but here are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Increase the tension: While the scene is already suspenseful to some degree, it can be intensified by emphasizing the stakes of Ariadne's test. Rather than just saying it's "not legal," Cobb could hint at potential danger or consequences if she fails. This will heighten the urgency of the scene and make the audience more invested in Ariadne's success.

2. Use visuals to enhance the action: In a movie script, it's important to use characters' physical actions and the environment to help tell the story. In this scene, there is a lot of potential for interesting visuals that could enhance the tension and intrigue. For example, Cobb could pace as he watches Ariadne draw, or the camera could zoom in on her hand as she makes crucial lines in the maze.

3. Develop the characters further: While the scene establishes the basic dynamic between Miles, Cobb, and Ariadne, there is still room to flesh out their personalities and motivations. Little details, like the way Ariadne reacts to Cobb's challenge or how Miles observes the interaction, can help reveal more about who these characters are and what drives them.

4. Consider the pacing: While the maze-building sequence is undoubtedly thrilling, it can also be quite lengthy. To keep the pacing flowing smoothly, it may be worth considering shortening some of the back-and-forth dialogue between Ariadne and Cobb, or finding other ways to condense the action without sacrificing its impact.



Scene 12 -  Shared dreaming lesson
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. PARISIAN CAFE - DAY

Cobb and Ariadne sit at an outdoor table.

COBB
They say we only use a fraction of
the true potential of our brains...
but they're talking about when
we're awake. While we dream, the
mind performs wonders.

ARIADNE
Such as?

COBB
How do you imagine a building? You
consciously create each aspect,
puzzling over it in stages... But
sometimes, when your imagination
flies-

ARIADNE
I'm discovering it.

COBB
Exactly. Genuine inspiration.

Cobb leans forwards and draws on the paper table cloth.

COBB
In a dream your mind continuously
does that...

Cobb has drawn a circle made of two arrows.
31.

COBB
It creates and perceives a world
simultaneously. So well that you
don't feel your brain doing the
creating. That's why we can short-
circuit the process...

ARIADNE
How?

COBB
By taking over the creating part.

Cobb draws a straight line between the two arrows.

COBB
This is where you come in. You
build the world of the dream. We
take the subject into that dream,
and let him £111 it with his
subconscious

ARIADNE
But are you trying to fool him that
the dream is actually real life?

COBB
(nods)
While we're in there, We don't want
him to realize he's dreaming.

ARIADNE
How could I ever get enough detail
to Convince him that it's real?

COBB
Our dreams reel real while we're in
them. It's only when we wake up we
realize things were strange,

Ariadne gestures around them-

ARIADNE
But all the textures of real life-
the stone, the fabric. cars...
people... your mind can't create
all this.

COBB
It does. Every time you dream. Let
me ask you a question: You never
remember the beginning of your
dreams, do you? You just turn up in
the middle of what's going on.
32.

ARIADNE
I guess.

COBB
So... how did we end up at this
restaurant?

ARIADNE
We came here from...

Ariadne trails off, confused.

COBB
How did we get here? Where are we?

Ariadne THINKS, unable to remember. A FAINT RUMBLE begins.

ARIADNE
Oh my God. We're dreaming.

Cobb nods. The RUMBLE is BUILDING.

COBB
Stay calm. We're actually asleep in
the workshop. This is your first
lesson in shared dreaming,
remember?

Ariadne looks around, mind REELING. Cobb BRACES-

The restaurant VIOLENTLY FRAGMENTS, EXPLODING AND IMPLODING
PARTICLES OF FURNITURE, WALLS, PEOPLE FLYING AROUND- Ariadne
WONDERS at the MAYHEM WHIRLING around them- Cobb SHIELDS his
head against the debris. She sees him-

ARIADNE
(shouting over noise)
If it's just a dream, why are you
covering your-

Ariadne is WIPED FROM HER SEAT BY A MASSIVE BLAST and we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne JOLTS awake.

COBB (O.S.)
Because it's never just a dream.

Ariadne turns to Cobb's voice. They are both sitting in the
lawn chairs. Arthur watches over them.
33.

COBB
And a face full of glass hurts like
hell, doesn't it? While we're in
it, it's real.

ARTHUR
That's why the military developed
dream sharing-a training program
where soldiers could strangle, stab
and shoot each other, then wake up.

ARIADNE
How did architects get involved?

COBB
Someone had to design the dreams.
(to Arthur)
Let's go another five minutes-

ARIADNE
We were only asleep for five
minutes? We talked for an hour at
least...

COBB
When you dream, your mind functions
more quickly, so time seems to pass
more slowly.

ARTHUR
Five minutes in the real world
gives you an hour in the dream.

COBB
Let's see how much trouble you can
cause in five minutes.

And we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb explains to Ariadne how shared dreaming works and how they can take over the creating part of the dream to avoid the subject realizing they're dreaming. During the conversation, they realize they're already in a dream and experience a chaotic, violent explosion before waking up.
Strengths "The scene presents an intriguing concept of shared dreaming and the power of the subconscious mind, creating a sense of mystery and tension. The dialogue between the characters is engaging and thought-provoking."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel confusing and overwhelming due to the sudden explosion during the dream sequence, making the emotional impact less effective. Some viewers may find the exposition-heavy dialogue and lack of action in the scene boring."
Critique The dialogue in this scene is informative and sets up the concept of dream-sharing effectively. The characters' motivations and personalities are also clearly established. However, there are some issues with the formatting. Some of the character actions and the setting are not clearly described. For example, it is not clear how Cobb draws on the paper tablecloth. Additionally, the action lines and dialogue lack descriptive language, making it difficult for readers to visualize the scene and understand the characters' emotions. Adding more specific descriptions would help enhance the overall impact of the scene.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well written and effectively conveys the concept of shared dreaming to the audience. However, here are some suggestions for improvement:

1. Show, don't tell: While Cobb's dialogue is informative, it's also a lot of exposition. Consider finding a way to visually demonstrate the concept of dream creation and perception instead of purely relying on dialogue. One way to do this could be through a surreal dream sequence.

2. Characterization: Currently, Ariadne mostly serves as a sounding board for Cobb's exposition. Consider giving her more agency and a distinct personality/dynamic in this scene.

3. Pacing: The explosion and chaotic dream sequence at the end of the scene provide a jarring tonal shift that may feel rushed. Consider building to this moment more gradually or re-arranging the scene to give it more room to breathe.

4. Setting: While the Parisian cafe is a charming backdrop, it doesn't play much of a role in the scene beyond being a general outdoor location. Consider using the setting to enhance the dialogue and action, or finding a more specific location that ties into the themes of the scene.



Scene 13 -  Exploring Dream Architecture
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. SAME PARISIAN STREET - DAY

Ariadne walks down the crowded street with Cobb. Cobb looks
around at the street, the cafe, approving.

COBB
It's good. You've got the cafe, the
layout... you forgot the book shop
but pretty much everything else is
here.

Ariadne looks at the passers-by.

ARIADNE
Who are the people?
34.

COBB
They’re projections of my
subconscious.

ARIADNE
Yours?

COBB
Sure-you are the dreamer, I am the
subject. My subconscious populates
your world. That's one way we get
at a subject's thoughts-his mind
creates the people, so we can
literally talk to his subconscious.

ARIADNE
How else do you do it?

COBB
Architecture. Build a bank vault or
a jail, something secure, and the
subject's mind will fill it with
information he's trying to protect.

ARIADNE
Then you break in and steal it.

COBB
Exactly.

Ariadne wonders at the detail of the street.

ARIADNE
I love the concrete sense of things-
(stamps foot)
Real weight, you know? I thought a
dream space would be all about the
visual, but it's the feel of
things. Question is, what happens
as you start to mess with
physics...

She CONCENTRATES on the street. The street starts to BEND IN
HALF− the buildings on either side FOLDING IN until they form
the INSIDE OF A CUBE OF CITY, GRAVITY FUNCTIONING
INDEPENDENTLY ON EACH PLANE. Ariadne looks up (or down) at
the people on the opposite city surface. Cobb watches her
excitement.

ARIADNE
It's something, isn't it?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes. It is.
35.

As they walk, Ariadne notices more and more of the
projections STARING at her.

ARIADNE
Why are they looking at me?

COBB
Because you're changing things. My
subconscious feels that someone
else is creating the world. The
more you change things, the quicker
the projections converge on you.

ARIADNE
Converge?

COBB
They feel the foreign nature of the
dreamer, and attack-like white
blood cells fighting an infection.

ARIADNE
They're going to attack us?

COBB
Just you, actually.

They walk along the street to where it joins the next
gravitational plane. They step up onto the different plane
and walk down the street towards a river. As Ariadne
approaches, steps emerge from the flagstone, and she leads
Cobb up onto a small jetty. As she concentrates, pillars
emerge and a BRIDGE starts to telescope out from the jetty.
They step onto it as it grows. Cobb is impressed.

COBB
It's beautiful... but if you keep
on changing things...

People crossing the bridge STARE at Ariadne. Several of them
BUMP her shoulder as they pass.

ARIADNE
Mind telling your subconscious to
take it easy?

COBB
That’s why it’s called subconscious.
I don’t control it.

The bridge now spans the Seine. Cobb marvels at it.

COBB
Arched stone, iron pillars...
it's...
36.

Cobb pauses, thinking. Remembering.

INSERT CUT: Mal, hair blowing, turns to Cobb, smiling,
laughing. He smiles back. They are on the same bridge.

COBB
I know this bridge. This place is
real−
(serious)
You didn't imagine it, you
remembered it...

ARIADNE
(nods)
I cross it every day on my way to
the college.

COBB
Never recreate places from your
memory. Always imagine new places.

ARIADNE
You have to draw from what you know-

COBB
(tense)
Use pieces-a streetlamp,
phonebooths, a type of brick-not
whole areas.

Several people around them ECHO Cobb's attitude...

ARIADNE
Why not?

COBB
Because building dreams out of your
own memories is the surest way to
lose your grip on what's real and
what's a dream.

ARIADNE
Did that happen to you?

Cobb says nothing. He stands there, starinq at Ariadne.
PEOPLE around her stop and look at her, hostile.

COBB
Look, this isn't about me-

Cobb reaches for Ariadne's arm, turns her to him-

ARIADNE
Is that why you need me to build
your dreams?
37.

A passerby GRABS Ariadne's shoulder-

COBB
Leave her alone-

More of the crowd join in, PULLING at Ariadne, holding her
arms open- Cobb PULLS people off- the crowd PUSHES him away-
Cobb sees someone WALKING PURPOSEFULLY through the crowd
towards the helpless, Ariadne- it is Mal. She approaches with
even strides- Ariadne stares at her, uneasy.

ARIADNE
Wake me up, Cobb.

As Mal walks, she pulls out a LARGE KNIFE-

COBB
Mal, no!

ARIADNE
Wake me up!

Ariadne SCREAMS as Mal LUNGES at her with the knife and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Ariadne and Cobb explore the intricacies of dream architecture and the dangers of creating dreams based on memories. As they walk, Ariadne's changes to the dream environment attract the attention of projections, leading to a confrontation with Cobb's deceased wife, Mal.
Strengths "The scene effectively conveys the dangers of manipulating dream architecture and demonstrates the escalating conflict between Ariadne and the projections. The pacing is well-done, with tension building up as the projections become more hostile towards Ariadne."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more character development, particularly with regards to Ariadne. The dialogue could also be stronger in some places, particularly in the confrontation with Mal."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing the rules of the dream world and the potential dangers that come with manipulating it. The dialogue effectively conveys the concepts of subconscious projections and dream architecture.

However, there are a couple of areas for improvement. The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne feels a bit stilted and lacking in natural flow. It also feels like there could be more tension built as Ariadne starts to change the dream world and the projections begin to converge on her. Additionally, the sudden appearance of Mal and the knife at the end feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from some foreshadowing or buildup earlier in the scene.

Overall, this is a solid scene that effectively establishes the world and stakes of the story, but could use some fine-tuning in the dialogue and pacing departments.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description: The scene is heavy on dialogue, but it would benefit from more description to help the audience visualize what's happening. For example, when the street starts to bend, describe how it looks and feels. When the bridge is being built, describe the pillars and iron rods in more detail.

2. Develop the tension: The scene jumps from Ariadne being amazed by the dream world to the projections attacking her very quickly. It could benefit from a slower build-up to create a greater sense of tension. For example, show more passive aggression from the projections before they become violent.

3. Add more action: The scene relies too much on dialogue to convey information. It would benefit from more action to keep the audience engaged. For example, instead of just having Ariadne and Cobb walk down the street, have them dodge obstacles or interact with the environment more.

4. Develop the characters: The scene sets up an interesting dynamic between Ariadne, Cobb, and Mal, but it could be developed further. For example, show more of how Ariadne's curiosity clashes with Cobb's desire to control the dream world. Show how Mal's presence affects Cobb and his relationship with Ariadne.

Overall, the scene has potential, but it could benefit from more description, tension, action, and character development.



Scene 14 -  The Importance of a Totem
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. WORKSHOP-DAY

Ariadne WAKES, BREATHING HARD. Arthur moves to her-

ARTHUR
It's okay.

ARIADNE
Why couldn’t I wake?

ARTHUR
The only way to wake from inside
the dream is to die.

Cobb, in the lawn chair opposite, PULLS his tubes out.

COBB
She'll need a totem.

ARIADNE
What?

ARTHUR
Some kind of personal icon. A small
object that you can always have
with you, and that no one else
knows,

Cobb gets to his feet, Ariadne stares at him, furious. He
heads to the bathroom.
38.

ARIADNE
That's some subconscious you've
got, Cobb.
(calls after him)
She's a real charmer!

ARTHUR
Sounds like you've met Mrs. Cobb.

ARIADNE
(surprised)
She's his wife?

Arthur nods, pulling off Ariadne's tubes.

ARTHUR
So. A totem. You need something
small, potentially heavy...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb takes out his PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
marble counter...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks at Arthur, puzzled.

ARIADNE
Like a coin?

ARTHUR
Too common. You need something that
has a weight or movement that only
you know.

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb STUDIES the spin of the top as it decays, becoming more
and more ECCENTRIC...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

ARIADNE
What’s yours?

Arthur holds out a DIE.

ARTHUR
A loaded die.

Ariadne reaches for it- Arthur snatches sit away-
39.

ARTHUR
I can’t let you handle it. That’s
the point. No one else can know the
weight or balance of it.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
So when you examine your totem...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb’s spinning top WOBBLES OVER.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
You know, beyond a doubt, that
you’re not in someone else’s dream.

Cobb GRABS it like a drowning man reaching for a lifeline.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne thinks this over.

ARIADNE
That’s not an issue for me.

ARTHUR
Why not?

ARIADNE
Arthur, maybe you can’t see what’s
going on, maybe you don’t want to.
But Cobb’s got problems he’s tried
to bury down there. I’m not going
to open my mind to someone like
that.

Ariadne gets to her feet. Walks away.

COBB (O.S.)
She’ll be back.

Arthur turns. Cobb is standing in the bathroom doorway.

COBB
I’ve never seen anyone pick it up
so fast. And one reality won’t be
enough for her now. When she comes
back, get her building mazes.

ARTHUR
Where will you be?
40.

COBB
I’ve got to talk to Eames.

ARTHUR
Eames? But he’s in Mombasa. Cobol’s
backyard.

COBB
Necessary risk.

ARTHUR
There are plenty of other thieves.

COBB
We don’t just need a thief. We need
a forger.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb explains the concept of a totem to Ariadne, while Arthur helps her pick one. Meanwhile, Cobb leaves to talk to Eames, a necessary risk for their plan.
Strengths "The scene efficiently explains the use of the totem and sets up Cobb's meeting with Eames"
Weaknesses "Not much character development or emotional impact in the scene"
Critique Overall, this scene is strong in terms of storytelling and character development. The dialogue is clear and the actions are specific, giving the scene a sense of forward momentum. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

One area to consider is the pacing of the scene. It moves quickly from topic to topic, potentially leaving some viewers behind. Slowing down the pace or breaking up the dialogue with actions or reactions could help with clarity.

Another area to consider is the clarity of the language. While the dialogue is clear, some of the technical terms (such as "totem," "forger," and "maze") could benefit from a bit more explanation or context.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from a bit more visual description. While the actions are clear, there is little detail given about the setting or characters, which could make it harder for viewers to fully immerse themselves in the scene.

Overall, this scene is strong but could be improved with a bit of attention to pacing, clarity, and visual description.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more specific character actions and reactions to enhance the emotion and tension in the scene. For example, instead of just having Ariadne say, “That’s some subconscious you’ve got, Cobb,” show her throwing something at him in anger or storming out of the room.

2. Clarify the stakes of the scene. What happens if Ariadne doesn’t get a totem? What is at risk? This will make the audience more invested in the scene and create a sense of urgency.

3. Consider adding more visual elements to help the audience understand the concept of the totem. For example, show a close-up of Arthur’s loaded die or Cobb’s spinning top to emphasize their importance.

4. Streamline the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Remove any unnecessary exposition or repetition of information.

5. Make sure each character’s dialogue is distinct and reflects their personality. For example, Cobb may speak in more cryptic and intense language, while Arthur may be more matter-of-fact and straightforward.

6. Consider adding more sensory details to help the audience visualize the scene. What does the workshop look and smell like? What is the lighting like? This will create a more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 15 -  Showdown at the Gambling Den
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. GAMBLING DEN, MOMBASA - DAY

Crowded, bustling, smoke-filled. a westerner (40’s), shabby
suit, is squeezed in at a dice game. This is EAMES. He
FIDDLES with his last two chips.

COBB (O.S.)
Rub them against each other all you
like, they’re not going to breed.

Eames looks up to see Cobb.

EAMES
You never know.

Eames tosses down his last chips. The dice are rolled...

COBB
Drink?

Eames loses.

EAMES
You’re buying.

Cobb follows Eames. Eames mysteriously produces two stacks of
chips and puts them down in front of the cashier. Cobb pulls
one off the top, squints at the embossed name.

COBB
You’re spelling hasn’t improved.

Eames GRABS the chip. Hands it to the cashier.

EAMES
Piss off.

COBB
How’s your handwriting?
41.

Eames takes his money. Smiles at Cobb.

EAMES
Versatile.

INT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Eames leads Cobb down the quiet street.

EAMES
Word is, you’re not welcome in
these parts.

COBB
Yeah?

EAMES
There’s a price on your head from
Cobol Engineering. Pretty big one,
actually.

COBB
You wouldn’t sell me out.

Eames looks at Cobb, offended.

EAMES
‘Course I would.

COBB
(smiles)
Not when you hear what I’m selling.
Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Eames and Cobb reconnect at a gambling den in Mombasa. After losing his last chips, Eames mysteriously produces two stacks of chips and puts them down in front of the cashier. Cobb follows Eames out of the den where Eames reveals there's a price on Cobb's head and threatens to sell him out to Cobol Engineering. Cobb smirks at the tension between them.
Strengths "Well-written dialogue that builds tension between the characters.\nCinematic location and atmosphere."
Weaknesses "Lack of action and plot progression in this scene."
Critique This scene is well written and establishes the characters of Eames and Cobb with clear dialogue and actions. The setting of a gambling den in Mombasa is vividly described and sets an intriguing tone. However, there could be more subtext and tension in the dialogue between Eames and Cobb. The reveal of the price on Cobb's head could feel more impactful if there was more of a build-up to it, or if there were hints of tension and distrust between the two characters before this point. Overall, this scene effectively establishes the characters and setting, but could benefit from higher stakes and more implied conflict.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description to the setting: While it's clear that the gambling den is crowded and smoke-filled, adding more sensory details can help transport the audience into the scene. What type of people are in the den? What type of furniture and decor is there? What does it smell like besides smoke? Adding more details can help the audience feel immersed in the location.

2. Develop the relationship between Eames and Cobb: Currently, the dynamic between Eames and Cobb is hinted at but not fully developed. There's potential for a more interesting relationship between the two characters, so consider adding in more dialogue that fleshes out their history and dynamic.

3. Make the stakes of the gambling scene clearer: Right now, it's not entirely clear what's at stake in the game of dice. Adding more description or dialogue to explain what Eames stands to win or lose can make the scene more engaging.

4. Cut down on the on-the-nose dialogue: Lines like "Your spelling hasn't improved" or "How's your handwriting?" feel a bit forced and don't add much to the scene. Consider cutting them or finding more creative ways to convey the same information.

5. Add more tension: Finally, consider adding more tension to the scene. Right now, it feels like a low-stakes conversation between two acquaintances. Adding in more conflict or danger can make the scene more compelling and help move the plot forward.



Scene 16 -  Escape from Mombasa
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. BALCONY OF A COFFEE HOUSE - LATER

A ramshackle balcony overlooking a bust street. Eames pours.

COBB
Inception.

Eames’s glass stops halfway to his mouth.

COBB
Don’t bother telling me it’s
impossible.

EAMES
It’s perfectly possible. Just
bloody difficult.

COBB
That’s what I keep saying to
Arthur.
42.

EAMES
Arthur? You’re still working with
that stick-in-the-mud?

COBB
He’s a good point man.

EAMES
The best. But he has no
imagination. If you’re going to
perform inception, you need
imagination.

COBB
You’ve done it before?

EAMES
Yeas and no. We tried it. Got the
idea in place, but it didn’t take.

COBB
You didn’t plant it deep enough?

EAMES
It’s not just about depth. You need
the simplest version of the idea-
the one that will grow naturally in
the subject’s mind. Subtle art.

COBB
That’s why I’m here.

EAMES
What’s the idea you need to plant?

COBB
We want the heir to a major
corporation to break up his
father’s empire.

EAMES
See, right there you’ve got various
political motivations, anti-
monopolistic sentiment and so
forth. But all that stuff’s at the
mercy of the subject’s prejudice-
you have to go to the basic.

COBB
Which is?

EAMES
The relationship with the father.
(downs drink)
Do you have a chemist?
43.

Cobb shakes his head.

EAMES
There’s a man here. Yusuf. He
formulates his own versions of the
compounds.

COBB
Let’s go see him.

EAMES
Once you’ve lost your tail.
(Cobb reacts)
Back by the bar, blue tie. Came in
about two minutes after we did.

COBB
Cobol Engineering?

EAMES
They pretty much own Mombasa.

Cobb glances over the balcony.

COBB
Run interference. We’ll meet
downstairs in half an hour.

EAMES
Back here?

COBB
Last place they’d expect.

Eames downs his drink. Rises. Walks over to the Businessman.

EAMES
Freddy!

The Businessman looks up, awkward.

EAMES
Freddy Simmonds, it is you!

Cobb nonchalantly SLIPS over the balcony DROPPING HARD into
the midst of the crowd on the street below.

EAMES
(looks harder)
Oh. No, it isn’t.

EXT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Cobb stands up, PUSHES into the crowd- faces PEER at him- he
moves, trying to blend- TURNS- a SECOND BUSINESS MAN is
there.
44.

COBB
(disarming smile)
Yes?

SECOND BUSINESSMAN
We need to-

Cobb HEAD BUTTS the Second Businessman, PUSHES past him-

The First Businessman races out of the bar, sees Cobb's wake,
DIVES after him- Cobb RACES headlong through tight
passageways, WEAVING through or KNOCKING into the locals...

He steps into a dark, crowded cafe, scanning the tables...
the First Businessman enters, spots him. An AFRICAN MAN gets
in Cobb's face, jabbering at him in Swahili- Cobb considers
his options... the First Businessman DRAWS A GUN- Cobb bolts,
steps up on a table and out an open window, SCRAMBLING into
the alley outside...

Cobb LOOKS left, right... CUTS LEFT into a narrow, CROWDED
alley- the alley NARROWS TO A DEAD END. Faces in the CROWD
start to watch Cobb- PEOPLE start to SURROUND him- Cobb looks
back the way he came- the two Businessmen are there, GUNS
DRAWN-

Cobb sees a SMALL GAP between the buildings at the narrow end-
he THROWS himself into it- gets STUCK HALFWAY...

The crowd bears down, GRABBING for him as Cobb struggles to
SQUEEZE HIMSELF through the gap... Cobb's moving INCHES as
his pursuers gain YARDS... the Crowd is upon him... he BURSTS
FREE. TUMBLING onto the next street, ROLLING out of sight.

Cobb Jumps to his feet- in a market square. TWO MORE
BUSINESSMEN move towards him. Cobb BOLTS but a CAR SKIDS UP,
BLOCKS HIS PATH- the door opens- SAITO IS IN THE BACK.

SAITO
Care for a lift, Mr. Cobb?

COBB
(jumping in)
What brings you to Mombasa, Mr.
Saito?

SAITO
I have to protect my investment.

EXT. COFFEE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Eames stands on the pavement. The car pulls up. Cobb beckons
from the rear window. Eames looks at Saito. Back to Cobb.

EAMES
This is your idea of losing a tail?
45.

COBB
(shrugs)
Different tail.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb and Eames meet to discuss the possibility of inception, but are interrupted by Cobol Engineering, who is after them. Cobb escapes a chase through Mombasa, meeting Saito at the end. Eames is skeptical about Cobb's idea of losing a tail.
Strengths
  • Well-written action scene
  • Raises the stakes for the characters while also revealing more about their personalities
  • Keeps the plot moving forward
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Character descriptions are not as detailed as they could be
  • Dialogue is strong, but not particularly memorable
Critique The scene starts with an establishing shot of the balcony, but it is not very descriptive. It could benefit from a clearer, more vivid description of the scene.

The dialogue between Cobb and Eames is well written and establishes their characters and their role in the story. However, the conversation feels a bit exposition heavy. The script would benefit from showing the audience more about the idea of inception rather than just telling them.

The action scenes are well written and engaging. However, some of the transitions between scenes could be smoother, especially towards the end of the scene. Additionally, some of the actions, like Cobb's headbutt, are abrupt and come out of nowhere. They could be set up better with more context.

Overall, the dialogue and action are solid, but the scene could use some more descriptive language and smoother transitions. The exposition-heavy dialogue could also be improved with more show and less tell.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual descriptions to help set the tone and atmosphere of the location. For example, adding details about the sights, smells, and sounds of the busy street below the balcony could help immerse the viewer and make the setting feel more real. Additionally, some action lines could be condensed or simplified to streamline the scene and help it flow better. For instance, instead of describing every move Cobb makes while escaping his pursuers, the scene could focus on the key moments that are essential to the plot. Finally, some more dialogue could be added to further develop the characters and their relationships, such as exploring the dynamic between Cobb, Eames, and Saito.



Scene 17 -  Paradoxical Architecture
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur sits at the table, working on a mechanism. A small
COUGH prompts him to look up: Ariadne is there.

ARTHUR
He said you'd be back.

ARIADNE
I tried not to come.

ARTHUR
But there's nothing else quite like
it.

ARIADNE
No paper, no pens... nothing
between you and raw, direct
creation.

Arthur picks up his mechanism.

ARTHUR
Shall we take a look at paradoxical
architecture?

Ariadne nods, takes off her coat and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENROSE STEPS - LATER

Arthur leads Ariadne down some busy steps in a large glass
and steel ATRIUM in an office complex.

ARTHUR
You're going to have to master a
few tricks if you're going to build
three complete dream levels.

A SECRETARY DROPS some papers as they pass...

ARIADNE
What sort of tricks?

They take a tight turn and continue down the next flight.

ARTHUR
In a dream, you can cheat
architecture into impossible
shapes.
(MORE)
46.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
That lets you create closed loops,
like the Penrose Steps. The
infinite staircase.

Ariadne FREEZES- THEY ARE IN THE EXACT SPOT THEY STARTED
DESCENDING FROM, next to the Secretary gathering her papers.

Ariadne puzzles at the impossible construction of the stairs.

ARTHUR
See...

Arthur stops her gently- they are on the highest step, with a
LARGE DROP to the next step. Arthur gestures at the drop.

ARTHUR
Paradox. A closed loop like this
helps you disguise the boundaries
of the dream you've created.

ARIADNE
How big do the levels have to be?

ARTHUR
Anything from the floor of a
building, to an entire city. But it
has to be complicated enough for us
to hide from the projections.

ARIADNE
A maze.

ARTHUR
And the better the maze-

ARIADNE
The longer we have before the
projections catch us.

Ariadne looks around. Sees people LOOKING at Arthur.

ARIADNE
My subconscious seems polite
enough.

ARTHUR
You wait, they'll turn ugly. No one
likes to see someone else messing
around in their mind.

ARIADNE
Cobb can't build anymore, can he?
47.

ARTHUR
I don't know if he can't, but he
won't. He thinks it's safer if he
doesn't know the layouts.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
He won't tell me. I think it's Mal.
I think she's getting stronger.

ARIADNE
His ex-wife?

ARTHUR
She's not his ex.

ARIADNE
They're still together?

Arthur turns to Ariadne. Gentle.

ARTHUR
No. No, she's dead, Ariadne. What
you see in there is just his
projection of her.

ARIADNE
What was she like in real life?

ARTHUR
(quiet)
She was lovely.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur teaches Ariadne about creating impossible shapes and closed loops in dreams to disguise the boundaries of the dream, while also warning her about the dangers of being caught by projections. He reveals that Cobb's ex-wife, who appears in his dreams, is dead and that she is just his projection.
Strengths "The scene reveals important information about the plot and Cobb's backstory while also setting up the concept of paradoxical architecture. The dialogue is engaging and informative, and the scene has a strong emotional impact."
Weaknesses "The scene is primarily focused on exposition and information and lacks significant action."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue between Arthur and Ariadne effectively establishes their dynamic and hints at potential conflicts to come. The introduction of paradoxical architecture is intriguing and serves to deepen the audience's understanding of the film's world. However, the scene could benefit from more description of the setting and actions to create a clearer visual picture for the audience. Additionally, there is a missed opportunity to show rather than tell when it comes to the Penrose Steps. Instead of having Arthur explain the concept, it could be more impactful to visually demonstrate it in real time.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Have more visual descriptions to enhance the setting. Instead of just saying "a large glass and steel ATRIUM in an office complex," add more details about the surroundings to make it come alive for the reader. Is there natural light streaming through the windows? Are there people bustling around in the background? These details can help create a more immersive experience for the reader.

2. Try to avoid too much exposition. While it's important to convey information to the audience, there are more engaging ways to do it than through dialogue that feels like it's just explaining things. Maybe have Ariadne discover some of these tricks alongside Arthur, rather than having him tell her everything.

3. Develop the characters a bit more. We don't know much about Arthur or Ariadne at this point, so this is a good opportunity to reveal a little more about them. For example, you could show their personalities through how they interact with each other - are they lighthearted or serious? Do they have different approaches to problem-solving?

4. Consider adding some conflict or tension to the scene. Right now, it feels like a fairly straightforward information dump. Adding some obstacles or challenges (even just small ones) can make it more engaging and keep the audience invested.

5. Lastly, think about pacing. While this is an important scene for exposition, it's still important to keep the pacing from becoming too slow. You could achieve this by breaking the scene up into smaller sections with action beats or cutting away to other scenes briefly before coming back to this one.



Scene 18 -  Corporate Espionage
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. ROOFTOP, OLD TOWN, MOMBASA - DAY

Saito deposits a FILE in front of Cobb: PHOTOS, DOCUMENTS. As
Cobb runs through them, he passes them to Eames.

SAITO
Robert Fischer, 32. Heir to the
Fischer Morrow energy conglomerate.
He's spent his whole life being
groomed as successor-breaking up
his father's empire will take a
radical shift in his thinking.

COBB
What's your problem with Fischer?

SAITO
That's not your concern.
48.

COBB
This isn't the usual corporate
espionage, Mr. Saito. This is
inception. The seed of the idea we
plant will grow in this man's mind.
It'll change him. It might even
come to define him.

Saito looks at Cobb.

SAITO
My sources suggest you might not
have always been so cautious.

COBB
Then you need new sources, Mr.
Saito.

Saito considers Cobb. Shrugs.

SAITO
Fischer Morrow has the regulators
in their pockets. We're the last
company standing between them and
total energy dominance and we can
no longer compete. Soon they'll
control the energy supply of half
the world. They'll be able to
blackmail governments, dictate
policy. In effect, they become a
new superpower. The world needs
Robert Fischer to change his mind.

EAMES
That's where we come in. How's
Robert Fischer's relationship to
his father?

SAITO
Rumor is the relationship is
complicated.

COBB
We'll need more than rumor, Mr.
Saito.

Eames picks up a photo: a distinguished executive (68).

EAMES
Can you get me access to him?
Browning. Fischer senior's right-
hand man. Fischer junior's
godfather.
49.

SAITO
It should be possible. If you can
get the right references.

EAMES
References are something of a
specialty for me, Mr. Saito.

EXT. DECREPIT BUILDING, MOMBASA - LATER

Eames leads Cobb and Saito down uneven steps to a doorway.

INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Peeling paint, buzzing flies. They ascend to a dusty,
wire-reinforced glass door which Eames pushes open-
Genres: ["thriller","drama"]

Summary Saito hires Cobb and his team to perform inception on Robert Fischer, convincing him to break up his father's energy conglomerate. To do so, they need to find out more about Fischer's complicated relationship with his father, and Eames is tasked with getting access to Fischer's godfather.
Strengths "The dialogue is engaging, particularly the debate between Cobb and Saito about the morality of inception. The scene sets up the main plot of the film and introduces the characters' motivations well."
Weaknesses "The setting and description of the decrepit building are generic and not very interesting."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the central conflict of the story. The dialogue is clear and concise, and we learn important information about the character's goals and motivations.

One potential area for improvement is in the characterization of Saito. At this point in the story, we don't know much about him, and his motivations for wanting to carry out this inception plan are somewhat unclear. It may be helpful to include more details about his background and stakes in the success of this operation.

Additionally, while the dialogue provides exposition, there is little action or movement in the scene. Including more sensory details or physical actions could help to create a more dynamic scene. For example, we could see the characters walking through the decrepit building rather than just arriving at the door. This would also help to create a stronger sense of place and atmosphere.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the central conflict of the story and provides important information about the characters and their motivations. With a few tweaks to the characterization and action, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more visual and sensory details to create a stronger sense of place and atmosphere. For example, what does the rooftop look and feel like - is it hot and sunny or cloudy and windy? Is it noisy or quiet? Adding these details can help the audience feel more immersed in the scene. Additionally, the dialogue could use some more subtext and nuance - perhaps Saito could be more evasive or cryptic about his real motivations, and Cobb could have some hesitation or doubt about the mission. Adding these layers of complexity can make the scene more engaging and suspenseful.



Scene 19 -  Meeting with Yusuf
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Row upon row of wooden shelves holding hundreds of dusty
glass bottles of all shapes and colors. At the far end, a
portly 40-year-old man rises from behind his desk, beckoning.
This is YUSUF.

YUSUF
Come, come.

Eames shakes Yusuf's hand. Yusuf stops at Cobb.

YUSUF
Ah, yes. Mr. Cobb. I've heard so
very much about you.
(indicates chairs)
please.

Yusuf chases a CAT off Saito's chair.

YUSUF
Bloody cats.

Yusuf moves to a shelf and runs his fingers over the glass
bottles. None of them has a label.

YUSUF
You work using Somnacin, I think,
Mr. Cobb?

COBB
You're well informed, Mr. Yusuf.

Yusuf places a bottle on the desk in front of Cobb.
50.

COBB
(dubious)
Somnacin?

YUSUF
(proudly)
Yusuf's Somnacin.

Yusuf pulls the stopper, holds it towards Cobb's nose.

COBB
As good as the real thing?

Yusuf WHIPS the bottle away from Cobb, offended.

YUSUF
Better.

Yusuf holds the bottle to the light, marveling.

YUSUF
Binds the dreamers tight. Let's
them dream as one. Makes it real.
Of course, if you'd prefer, you
could use Somnacin brand. If you
could explain to the international
control council what you wanted it
for.

Yusuf puts the bottle back onto the shelf. Sits.

YUSUF
You are seeking a chemist?
(Cobb nods)
To formulate compounds for a job?

COBB
And to come into the held with us.

YUSUF
I rarely go into the held, Mr.
Cobb.

COBB
We need you there to tailor
compounds to our particular
requirements.

YUSUF
Which are?

COBB
Great depth.

YUSUF
A dream within a dream? Two levels?
51.

COBB
Three.

YUSUF
Not possible. That many dreams
within dreams would be too
unstable.

COBB
I've done it before. You just have
to add a sedative.

YUSUF
A powerful sedative. How many team
members?

COBB
Five.

SAITO
Six.
(to Cobb)
The only way to know you've done
the job is if I go in with you.

COBB
There's no room for tourists on
these jobs, Mr. Saito.

SAITO
This time, it would seem there is.

Cobb looks at him, uneasy. Yusuf pulls out another bottle.

YUSUF
Of course. I use it every day.

Yusuf hands it to Cobb, who considers the white liquid
inside.

COBB
For what?

Yusuf beckons them further into the pharmacy, to a METAL
DOOR. He STOPS- second thoughts.

YUSUF
Perhaps... you will not want to
see.

Cobb motions to continue. Yusuf pulls out a large key.
52.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb, Saito, and Eames meet with the chemist Yusuf to obtain the necessary compounds for their multi-level dream job. Yusuf shows them his Somnacin, an even better version of the dream-inducing compound they need for the job. Yusuf is hesitant to join them in the dream job but ultimately agrees when he realizes the depth of their plan.
Strengths "The chemistry and dream job concepts are intriguing and suspenseful. Yusuf is an interesting character with his Somnacin."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more action or tension."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that the scene is well-written. The setting is established well, and the characters are introduced in a clear and concise manner. Yusuf's character is particularly interesting, with his obsession with his own Somnacin and his reluctance to enter the dream world. The use of the cat as a comedic element is also effective.

One area for improvement could be to make the dialogue more concise. There are moments where the characters repeat information or state the obvious, which can slow down the pace of the scene. For example, Yusuf saying "bloody cats" and then chasing the cat off Saito's chair feels like unnecessary filler.

Another way to improve the scene might be to introduce more tension or conflict. While Saito's presence is a source of tension, it doesn't feel fully explored in this scene. Adding in some more friction between the characters, or introducing a new conflict, could heighten the drama and make the scene more engaging.

Overall, however, the scene does its job of setting up the necessary information for the story and introducing some interesting characters. With some minor tweaks, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Introduce the characters using visual cues: Instead of relying on dialogue to introduce the characters, show us what they look like and how they behave. For example, you could describe Yusuf's appearance and mannerisms as he rises from behind his desk.

2. Use more sensory descriptions: The scene could be more immersive if you included more sensory details. For example, describe the smell of the dusty glass bottles or the sound of the cat running away.

3. Make the stakes clearer: The conversation between Yusuf, Cobb, and Saito could be more tense and engaging if the stakes were clearer. For example, what happens if they don't get the compounds right? What's at stake for each character?

4. Consider breaking up the dialogue: The scene includes a lot of dialogue without much action. Consider breaking it up with descriptions of the characters' movements or reactions.

5. Clarify the goals of each character: It's not entirely clear what each character wants from the scene. Yusuf seems to be trying to sell his Somnacin, but what about Cobb and Saito? What are their goals in this conversation? Adding more clarity to their motivations could make the scene more engaging.



Scene 20 -  Dreamers' Reality
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

A dark room with ROWS of low COTS. Each with a sleeping
occupant. Tubes connect their wrists. An ELDERLY BALD MAN
watches over them.

EAMES
(counting)
Eighteen, twenty-all connected,
bloody hell.

YUSUF
They come every day. To share the
dream.

Yusuf nods at the Elderly Bald Man, who moves to the nearest
bed. Reaches out to the OCCUPANT. Gives his face a FIRM SLAP.
The sleeper does not even stir.

YUSUF
See? Very stable.

COBB
How long do they dream?

YUSUF
Three, four hours. Every day.

COBB
How long in dream time?

YUSUF
With this compound... about forty
hours. Each and every day.

Saito surveys the room, appalled.

SAITO
Why do they do it?

YUSUF
Tell him, Mr. Cobb.

COBB
After a while...
(looks at Saito)
It becomes the only way you can
dream.

YUSUF
Do you still dream, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb STARES at the sleepers. Uneasy.

EAMES
They come here every day to sleep?
53.

ELDERLY BALD MAN (O.S.)
No.

Cobb turns to the Elderly Bald Man, who looks fondly at his
dreamers.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
They come to be woken up... the
dream has become their reality...

The Elderly Bald Man pokes a crooked finger at Cobb's chest.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
And who are you to say otherwise?

Cobb STARES at the Elderly Bald Man. DISTURBED. Cobb turns to
Yusuf. TOSSES him the bottle.

COBB
Let's see what you can do.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb is lying on an empty cot, asleep. Yusuf stands over him.
As we move in on Cobb's SLEEPING FACE we hear the sound of a
FREIGHT TRAIN, BUILDING, and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. WASTELAND - DAY

CLOSE ON Cobb's face as he lies, EYES CLOSED, cheek pressed
to a METAL RAIL- THE SOUND OF THE TRAIN IS DEAFENING- Cobb is
BREATHING, BREATHING, BREATHING, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - DAY

Cobb's eyes open. Yusuf is watching him.

YUSUF
Sharp, no?

Cobb nods. Gets to his feet, looking around-

INT. BATHROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SPLASHES water on his face, breathing hard- INSERT CUT:
A CURTAIN BILLOWS. MAL TURNS TO US, HAIR BLOWING, SMILING.
Cobb fumbles in his pockets, pulls out his spinning top. He
tries to set it spinning on the back edge of the sink, but it
FALLS to the floor and rolls towards the door- Saito is
there. WATCHING Cobb. He looks down at the spinning top.
54.

SAITO
Everything alright, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb dries his face with a paper towel. Picks up his top.

COBB
Everything's fine.

INT. BACK ROOM, WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Close on a small BRASS CHESS PIECE. Ariadne tips it over.
Frowning, she picks up a micro drill, peels back the felt on
the bottom and widens a hole in one side of its base. Tests
the TIPPING POINT again. A NOISE makes her look up.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Cobb and his team visit a backroom pharmacy where people share a dream every day for several hours using a special compound. The dream has become their reality, and they do it every day. The team observes and experiences the dream.
Strengths "The concept of sharing a dream using a special compound is intriguing. The scene raises questions about the nature of reality and how our brains can be manipulated. The tension between Cobb and the Elderly Bald Man adds an interesting dynamic to the scene."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more action or tension to keep the audience engaged. Some of the dialogue could be tightened."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the concept of shared dreaming, as well as the consequences and addictive nature of it. However, some areas could be improved upon.

Firstly, the visuals could be strengthened to create a clearer picture in the audience's mind. For example, describing the tubes in more detail or the atmosphere of the room would make the scene more immersive.

Secondly, the dialogue in the scene could be more natural and realistic. While the characters have distinct personalities, some of their lines come off as stiff and scripted. This could be improved through more casual dialogue or adding small interactions between the characters.

Lastly, the transition between different dream levels could be smoother. The jump from Cobb's sleeping face to the wasteland is a bit jarring, and adding a more gradual transformation or establishing shot could make the transition more seamless.

Overall, the scene effectively sets up the concept of shared dreaming and the addiction that comes with it, but could benefit from stronger visuals, more natural dialogue, and smoother transitions.
Suggestions 1. Add more visual description to the opening shot of the back room of the pharmacy to give the audience more of an understanding of the atmosphere and tone.

2. Increase the tension and stakes in the conversation between Yusuf, Cobb, and Saito about the dreamers, perhaps by adding more conflict or layers to their motivations and goals.

3. Expand on the character of the Elderly Bald Man and his relationship to the dreamers, as well as his perspective on their situation.

4. Make the transition between the dream sequences and the waking world smoother and more seamless, so that the audience can better follow the storytelling without getting confused.

5. Provide more details about the mechanics and implications of the dream-sharing technology, to further immerse the audience in the film's worldbuilding.



Scene 21 -  Cobb's Secrets
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne comes into the main space. Someone is there,
unpacking one of the MECHANISMS. Cobb.

ARIADNE
You're back.

Cobb looks up with a start. Caught out.

ARIADNE
Are you going under on your own?

COBB
I just-I need to test some things.
I didn't realize anyone was here.

ARIADNE
Just working on my totem.

Ariadne holds up the chess piece. Cobb reaches for it.

COBB
Let me see-

Ariadne SNAPS it out of his reach. Smiles. Cobb nods.

COBB
You're learning.

ARIADNE
It's an elegant solution to keeping
track of reality. Your invention?

COBB
No. Mal's.

Cobb pulls out his spinning top. Looks at it.
55.

COBB
This one was hers. She'd spin it in
a dream and it would never topple.
Just spin and spin...

ARIADNE
Arthur told me she died.

COBB
She did. How are the mazes coming?

Ariadne indicates three large ARCHITECTURAL MODELS.

ARIADNE
Good. Each level relates to the
part of the subject's subconscious
we're trying to access. I'm making
the bottom level a hospital, so
that Fischer will bring his father
there-

COBB
Don't tell me. Remember, you only
want the dreamer to know the
layout.

ARIADNE
Why's that so important?

COBB
In case one of us brings in part of
our subconscious. You wouldn't want
any projections knowing the layout.

ARIADNE
In case you bring Mal in.

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
You won't build yourself because if
you know the maze, then she knows
it. And she'd sabotage the
operation. You can't keep her out,
can you?

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
Do the others know?

COBB
No.
56.

ARIADNE
You have to warn them if it's
getting worse-

COBB
(gentle)
I didn't say it's getting worse.
Look, Ariadne, I need them for this
job. I need you for this job.
Without your help, I'll never get
back to my children. And that's all
I can care about right now.

ARIADNE
Why can't you go home, Cobb?

Cobb looks at her, deciding what to say.

COBB
They think I killed her.

ARIADNE
How did she die?

Cobb thinks.

INSERT CUT: Mal, wind BLOWING her hair, smiles at Cobb. Now
we see Cobb- SHAKING HIS HEAD, TEARS STREAMING, BEGGING-

COBB
Thank you.

ARIADNE
For what?

COBB
Not asking whether I did.
Genres: ["thriller","drama"]

Summary Ariadne discovers that Cobb is testing some things and going under on his own. They discuss the importance of keeping the maze layout secret and Cobb's inability to go home due to his wife's death.
Strengths "The scene is well-written with emotional depth and character development."
Weaknesses "The lack of conflict and action may make it slow for some audiences."
Critique Overall, this is a well-written scene with strong character development and exposition. The dialogue feels natural and flows smoothly, giving the audience insight into the character's motivations and backstories. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

1. Action description: There could be more detail in the action description to give a better sense of the environment and character movements. For example, instead of just saying "Ariadne comes into the main space," it could be more descriptive, such as "Ariadne enters the dimly lit workshop, her footsteps echoing on the concrete floor." This helps to set the scene and make it more immersive.

2. Pacing: While the dialogue is well-written, there are instances where the scene drags on a bit. For example, the exchange about the spinning top could be shortened or cut altogether, as it doesn't add much to the overall plot or character development.

3. Visuals: As a screenwriter, it's important to consider how the scene will look on screen. In this case, there are opportunities to incorporate more visual elements to make it more dynamic. For example, instead of just talking about the architectural models, we could see them on the table or being manipulated by Ariadne as she talks. This helps to break up the dialogue and keep the audience engaged.

Overall, this is a strong scene that could benefit from a few tweaks to make it even better.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Show, don't tell: The scene has a lot of exposition and dialogue that explains what's happening. Try to find a way to show the audience what's going on instead of just telling them. For example, instead of having Cobb say, "I need them for this job," show the audience why he needs them and what's at stake.

2. Add conflict: The scene lacks conflict, which makes it feel flat and uninteresting. Try to add some tension between Ariadne and Cobb, or between Cobb and someone else in the room. Alternatively, you could introduce a problem or obstacle that needs to be overcome.

3. Develop the characters: Although we learn a little bit about Cobb's backstory, we don't really get a sense of who he is as a person. Try to develop the characters more so that the audience cares about them and is invested in their journey.

4. Simplify the dialogue: Some of the dialogue feels a little clunky and unnatural. Try to simplify the dialogue and make it more conversational so that it sounds like something real people would say.

5. Use visual storytelling: The scene mostly consists of characters talking in a workshop. Try to find ways to use visual storytelling to make the scene more interesting. For example, you could have Cobb testing one of the mechanisms while he talks to Ariadne, or show some of the architectural models they're discussing.



Scene 22 -  Planting the Idea
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne, Arthur, Yusuf, Eames and Saito sit around the room,
looking at FILES. Cobb presides.

COBB
The mark is Robert Fischer, heir to
the Australian energy conglomerate,
Fischer Morrow.

Cobb opens a large presentation pad.

COBB (reads aloud)
"I WILL SPLIT UP MY FATHER'S
EMPIRE."

Cobb turns to the team.
57.

COBB
An idea Robert Fischer's conscious
mind would never accept. We have to
plant it deep in his subconscious.

ARTHUR
How deep?

COBB
Three levels down.

ARTHUR
A dream within a dream within a
dream? Is that even possible?

COBB
Yes. It is.

COBB
Now, the subconscious motivates
through emotion, not reason, so we
have to translate the idea into an
emotional concept.

ARTHUR
How do you translate a business
strategy into an emotion?

COBB
That's what we have to figure out.
Robert and his father have a tense
relationship. Worse, even, than the
gossip columns have suggested...

EAMES
Do you play on that? Suggest
breaking up his father's company as
a 'screw you' to the old man?

COBB
No. Positive emotion trumps
negative emotion every time. We
yearn for people to be reconciled,
for catharsis. We need positive
emotional logic.

Eames thinks. Paces. Looking back at the board.

EAMES
Try this... "MY FATHER ACCEPTS THAT
I WANT TO CREATE FOR MYSELF, NOT
FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS."

COBB
That might work.
58.

ARTHUR
Might? We'll have to do better than
that.

EAMES
Thanks for the contribution,
Arthur.

ARTHUR
Forgive me for wanting a little
specificity, Eames.

COBB
Inception's not about specificity.
When we get inside his head, we're
going to have to work with what we
find.

Arthur shrugs, frustrated. And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

The team are in the middle of a DESERTED intersection.
Ariadne is showing Yusuf aspects of the geography.

EAMES
We could split the idea into
emotional triggers, and use one on
each level.

COBB
How do you mean?

EAMES
On the top level, we open up his
relationship with his father....
Say: "I WILL NOT FOLLOW IN MY
FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS." Next level
down we've accessed his ambition
and self-esteem. We feed him: "I
WILL CREATE SOMETHING MYSELF."
Then, the bottom level, we bring
out the emotional big guns...

COBB
"MY FATHER DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE
HIM."

EAMES
That could do it.

ARTHUR
How do you produce these emotional
triggers?
59.

EAMES
I forge each emotional concept in
the style and manner of Peter
Browning, a key figure in Fischer's
emotional life.

Two AFRICAN PEDESTRIANS wander into view.

ARTHUR
Are those yours?

Eames shakes his head. Cobb turns to Yusuf.

ARTHUR
Yusuf?

YUSUF
Yup. Sorry.

COBB
Suppress them. We don't bring our
own projections into the dream-we
let Fischer's subconscious supply
the people.

EAMES
Saito, when do I get to see
Browning?

SAITO
You fly out to Sydney on Tuesday.
We've arranged for you to spend
several days...

INT. ANTEROOM, MAURICE FISCHER'S OFFICE - DAY

Eames sits in the crowded room. Boxes and files are piled
high. Browning stands by a pair of double doors.

SAITO (V.O.)
...as part of a consulting
litigation team working for
Browning.

BROWNING
I'm not smelling settlement here-we
take them down.

LAWYER
Mr. Browning, Maurice Fischer's
policy is always one of avoiding
litigation-

Browning turns to the lawyer. Calm, but POWERFUL.
60.

BROWNING
Shall we relay your concerns
directly to Maurice?

Browning opens the doors to Maurice Fischer's inner office.
Eames leans in to watch as Browning beckons the Lawyer into-
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The team discusses how to plant the idea of breaking up his father's empire deep into Robert Fischer's subconscious. They brainstorm different emotional concepts to use as triggers. Later, Eames impersonates Peter Browning, a key figure in Fischer's emotional life, to obtain information.
Strengths "Strong dialogue, well-developed characters"
Weaknesses "Lack of action and visual interest"
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and provides a clear objective for the characters. The dialogue is concise and moves the plot forward. However, there could be more character development, as the main characters are simply discussing their mission and not revealing much about themselves. Additionally, there could be more visual cues to break up the dialogue and make the scene more engaging for the audience.
Suggestions Here are some ways to improve the scene:

- Begin with a visual of the workshop to set the scene and establish the characters' positions in the room. This will help the audience better understand the dynamics at play.

- Consider adding some conflict or tension between the characters, beyond just frustration and sarcasm. This will make the scene more engaging and enhance the overall story.

- Develop the characters and their motivations more fully. Why are they doing this job? What personal stakes do they have in the success of the mission? This will give the audience reasons to care about their actions and choices.

- Try using more visual language and dialogue to make the scene more cinematic and immersive. For example, instead of just saying "Eames thinks. Paces," show him actively pacing and brainstorming ideas.

- Finally, think about the pacing and structure of the scene. Is it building to a climax or resolution? Are there any moments where the tension could be heightened or the stakes raised even higher? Pay attention to these details to make the scene more effective overall.



Scene 23 -  Power Struggle and Dream Planning
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. MAURICE FISCHER'S INNER OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

The office is a MAKESHIFT HOSPITAL ROOM: a BED where the desk
should be. Browning addresses a figure at the window. ROBERT
FISCHER, 30'S, abstracted.

BROWNING
How is he?

Fischer turns to Browning. Motions silence, as he glances at
his FATHER in the bed. Wheezing gently.

BROWNING
I don't want to bother him
unnecessarily but I know he-

FATHER
Robert! I've told you to keep out
the damn!-

MAURICE LASHES OUT, KNOCKING things from his bedside table. A
NURSE calms Maurice as Fischer crouches to retrieve a FRAMED
PHOTOGRAPH. He looks at the photo through the broken glass- a
YOUNG BOY holds a PINWHEEL CLEARLY MADE BY A CHILD (each of
the points is numbered in pen), his FATHER blows on it.

BROWNING
Must be a cherished memory of his-

FISCHER
I put it by his bed. He hasn't even
noticed.

BROWNING
Robert, we have to talk about a
power of attorney. I know this is
hard for you, but it's important
that we start to think about the
future-

FISCHER
Not now, Uncle Peter.

Browning looks at Fischer, considering. Biding his time.

EAMES (V.O.)
The vultures are circling. The
sicker Maurice Fischer becomes, the
stronger Peter Browning becomes...
61.

Eames WATCHES Browning, STUDYING his every move .

INT. BATHROOM - DAY

Eames gestures at a mirror, as if offering to shake hands...

EAMES (V.O.)
I've had time to learn Browning's
physical presence and mannerisms...

In the mirror: BROWNING GESTURES BACK.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

EAMES
Now, in the dream, I can impersonate
Browning and suggest the concepts to
Fischer's conscious mind...
(draws a diagram)
Then we take Fischer down another
level and his own subconscious
feeds it right back to him.

ARTHUR
(impressed)
So he gives himself the idea.

EAMES
Precisely. That's the only way
to make it stick. It has to seem
self-generated.

ARTHUR
Eames, I'm impressed.

EAMES
Your condescension, as always, is
much appreciated, Arthur.

CUT TO:

INT. DESERTED HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

The team sit on the steps of the large marble lobby,
debating. Ariadne is showing Arthur the lobby.

EAMES
He's not scheduled for surgery, no
dental, nothing.

COBB
I thought he had some knee thing?

EAMES
Nothing they'd put him under for.
Besides, we need a good ten hours.
62.

SAITO
Sydney to Los Angeles.

They turn to Saito.

SAITO
Twelve hours and forty-five
minutes-one of the longest flights
in the world. He makes it every two
weeks...

EXT. AIRFIELD - DAY

Fischer steps out of a black town car and walks across the
tarmac towards a GULF STREAM JET, accompanied by two aides.

COBB (V.O.)
Surely he flies private?

SAITO (V.O.)
Not if there were unexpected
maintenance with his plane.

Fischer is met at the steps by a DISTRAUGHT FLIGHT OFFICER.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

Cobb chews this over. Arthur comes over.

ARTHUR
It'd have to be a 747.

COBB
Why?

ARTHUR
On a 747 the pilots are up above,
first class is in the nose so
nobody walks through the cabin.
We'd have to buyout the whole
cabin, and the first class flight
attendant-

SAITO
We bought the airline.

Everyone turns to Saito.

SAITO
It seemed... neater.

COBB
Neater, huh?
(gets to his feet)
Well, now we have ten uninterrupted
hours.
(MORE)
63.
COBB (CONT'D)
(to Ariadne)
Nice lobby, by the way.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

The group is back in the workshop, deep in discussion.

ARTHUR
My question is how we go down three
layers with enough stability. Three
layers down a little turbulence is
gonna translate into an earthquake.
The dreams are gonna collapse with
the slightest disturbance.

Yusuf clears his throat.

YUSUF
Sedation. For sleep stable enough to
create three layers of dreaming...
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Browning discusses power of attorney with Robert Fischer while Maurice Fischer is in a makeshift hospital bed. Eames studies Browning's mannerisms to impersonate him in a dream and plant an idea in Fischer's subconscious. The group plans to create three layers of dreaming using sedation.
Strengths "Strong character interactions and conflict, intriguing concept and planning of the dream heist."
Weaknesses "Lack of action or advancement in plot, slow pacing."
Critique Overall, this scene seems to lack clear direction and purpose. The dialogue feels disconnected and unengaging, and there are no clear stakes or conflict driving the scene forward. Additionally, the sudden shift from Maurice Fischer's hospital room to the team discussing their plan feels jarring and disorienting. There is potential for meaningful tension and character development, but it needs to be more clearly communicated and structured within the scene.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more visual description: There is a lot of dialogue in this scene, but not enough description of what the characters are doing or how the room looks. Adding more visual details will help bring the scene to life and make it more engaging for the reader.

2. Clarify character actions: It's not always clear what the characters are doing in the scene. For example, when Maurice lashes out and knocks things from his bedside table, it's not clear if he's attacking someone or if he's just frustrated. Clarifying character actions will make the scene more understandable.

3. Add more conflict: There isn't a lot of conflict in this scene, which makes it feel a bit static. Adding more tension between the characters, or introducing a new problem for them to solve, will make the scene more dynamic and interesting.

4. Develop the theme: The scene touches on the theme of power of attorney and the future, but it doesn't fully explore these ideas. Developing the theme more fully will give the scene more depth and meaning.



Scene 24 -  Planning the Dream Heist
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Yusuf depresses a plunger. Arthur is SLEEPING in a chair.

YUSUF (V.O.)
We will have to combine it with an
extremely powerful sedative....

Eames SLAPS Arthur, HARD. Arthur does not stir.

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur unconsciously rubs his cheek.

YUSUF
The compound we'll be using to
share the dream is an advanced
Somnacin derivative. It creates a
very clear connection between
dreamers, whilst actually
accelerating brain function.

CUT TO:

COBB
Buying us more time in each level.

YUSUF
Brain function in the dream will be
about twenty times normal.
(MORE)
64.
YUSUF (CONT'D)
And when you go into a dream within
that dream the effect is
compounded.

ARIADNE
How much time?

YUSUF
Three dreams... that's ten hours,
times twenty, times twenty, times
twenty...

EAMES
Math was never my strong suit.

COBB
It's basically a week one layer
down, six months two layers down-

ARIADNE
And ten years in the third level.
Who wants to spend ten years in a
dream?

YUSUF
Depends on the dream.

EAMES
It's not going to take us long to
crack Fischer open once we get
going. We'll be out in a couple
days, max.

ARTHUR
How do we get out once we've made
the plant?
(to Cobb)
I hope you've got something a
little more elegant in mind than
shooting me in the head like last
time.

Arthur tilts back in his chair. Yusuf turns to Cobb.

COBB
A kick.

ARIADNE
What's a kick?

Eames slips his foot under Arthur's chair leg. TIPS it-
Arthur's legs SHOOT UP INSTINCTIVELY for balance-

EAMES
That, Ariadne, would be a kick.
65.

COBB
That feeling of falling which snaps
you awake. We use that to jolt
ourselves awake once we're done.

ARTHUR
But how are we going to feel that
through the sedation?

YUSUF
That's the clever part. I customize
the sedative...

INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Cobb, Eames and Yusuf watch Arthur, ASLEEP, in a chair.

YUSUF (O.S.)
To leave inner ear function
unimpaired...

Yusuf, with a wicked grin, slowly TIPS Arthur's chair
backwards... as he falls, Arthur's body JERKS, EYES OPENING
just before he HITS the floor.

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur thinks, nodding slowly.

YUSUF
That way, however deep the sleep, the
sleeper will still feel falling...

INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Yusuf gleefully LEANS a SLEEPING ARTHUR to one side ...

YUSUF (V.O.)
Or tipping...

Arthur goes down with a CRASH, JERKING AWAKE-

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur thinks this through.

ARTHUR
Even that won't cut through three
layers of deep sleep.

COBB
The trick is to devise a kick for
each level, then synchronize them
to get a snap that penetrates all
three layers.
66.

Arthur looks at Cobb, getting it.

ARTHUR
We can use the musical countdown to
synchronize the different kicks.

INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Ariadne comes into the darkened main space. Cobb is lying on
one of the chairs, asleep. Plugged into the mechanism.
Ariadne stands over him. Watching.

She opens the case, PULLS one of the tubes, sits, checking
the dials as she injects the needle cap into her arm, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - DAY

Ariadne ascends. She looks at the buttons. Spots the "B." The
elevator STOPS. She looks through the grill at-

INT. YOUNG GIRL'S BEDROOM - DAY

Ariadne pulls back the grill and walks across the room,
considering the dusty furnishings. At the window is a doll's
house, front slightly ajar. Ariadne opens it. Inside is a
SAFE. She tries it. LOCKED. A NOISE STARTLES her- she turns,
looking through a doorway into another room...
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary The team discusses their plan to enter the target's dream and plant a new idea in his subconscious, using an advanced Somnacin derivative to create a clear connection between dreamers and accelerate brain function. They need to go through three dreams, each with compounded effects, to gain access to their target's mind. They also plan to use customized sedatives and different kicks at each level to synchronize and jolt themselves awake once they complete the mission.
Strengths "Intriguing concept and plot, well-defined characters with distinct personalities."
Weaknesses "Some viewers may find the scientific and technical jargon confusing or overwhelming."
Critique Overall, this scene sets up the mechanics and rules of entering dreams within dreams, as well as the concept of using kicks to wake up from each level. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

- The dialogue can be a bit heavy-handed and expository at times, with characters explaining things that they should already know to each other. This could be trimmed down to make the scene flow better.

- The action (such as Yusuf tipping the chair to wake up Arthur) is a bit on the nose and feels like it's trying too hard to demonstrate the concept of kicks. It might be more effective to show a more subtle example of a kick and trust the audience to understand what it means.

- The scene ends on a bit of a cliffhanger with Ariadne looking through the doorway, but it's not clear what this is leading to or how it fits into the larger story. It might be helpful to provide a bit more context or connect it more directly to the main plot.

Overall, though, the scene does what it needs to do in setting up the rules and mechanics of the dream world, and the concept of using kicks as a way to escape is a clever and memorable idea.
Suggestions Overall, the scene seems to be doing a good job of setting up the mechanics of the dream-sharing process and introducing the concept of kicks. However, there are a few ways to improve it:

1. Clarify the stakes: While the characters mention that they need to perform this complex feat of dream-sharing to plant an idea, it may be helpful to emphasize exactly what is at risk if they fail. What is the consequences of Fischer not adopting the idea? Is this mission a matter of life or death for the characters?

2. Visualize the dream world: Since this is a movie about dream-sharing, it may be helpful to start showing the audience what the dream world looks like. This could be as simple as incorporating some surreal imagery or symbolism into the lab scenes to hint at the creative possibilities of the dream world.

3. Inject more character conflict: While it's important for the characters to work together to achieve their goals, it's also interesting to see some friction or disagreement between them. It may be worth exploring what tension or differing opinions exist between characters like Cobb, Eames, Yusuf, and Arthur, and how that impacts their ability to carry out the mission.

4. Use the doll's house scene to show more character depth: The final shot of Ariadne exploring the dusty old house and finding a safe inside the doll's house is intriguing, but it may be worth fleshing out further. What does this moment reveal about Ariadne's character? Is she just curious, or is she driven by some deeper personal motive? Is this a hint at some later twist or turn in the story? Expanding on this moment could add more layers to the overall story.



Scene 25 -  Dreams and Regrets
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks into the room to see Cobb and Mal talking,
arguing. A private moment. Mal brushes at Cobb's hair, trying
to convince him. We hear snatches of conversation-

MAL
You remember when you asked me to
marry you?

COBB
Of course...

MAL
You said you had a dream...

COBB
That we'd grow old together.

MAL
And we can. You know how to find
me... you know what you have to do.

Cobb is shaking his head, gently. Mal looks into Cobb's eyes-
gentle, loving... Mal SPOTS Ariadne spying on them.
67.

FREEZES, staring, hostile. Cobb turns, sees Ariadne, moves
towards her, leaving Mal.

COBB
You shouldn't be in here.

Cobb guides her back into the elevator.

ARIADNE
I wanted to know what "tests" you
need to do on your own every night.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - DAY

Cobb shuts the CAGE DOOR. Ariadne hits a button. The elevator
RISES. Through the GRILL Ariadne can see a BEACH stretching
off into the distance. The elevator stops. Mal sits on the
sand. Beside her, the two children are crouched, away from
us, building a SANDCASTLE.

ARIADNE
Why do you do this to yourself?

COBB
This is the only way I can still
dream.

ARIADNE
Is it so important to dream?

Cobb stares at his family.

COBB
In my dreams... we're still together.

The kids, WITHOUT TURNING AROUND, jump up and RUN AWAY.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

The elevator descends.

ARIADNE
But these aren't just dreams, are
they? They're memories. You said
never to use memories.

COBB
And I shouldn't.

ARIADNE
You're keeping her alive.

COBB
No.
68.

ARIADNE
You can't let her go.

COBB
No. These are moments I regret.
Moments I turned into dreams so I
could change them.

Ariadne's fingers move across the buttons- stop at the "B."

ARIADNE
What've you got buried down there
that you regret?

Cobb pushes her hand away. Hits the third floor button.

COBB
There's only one thing I need you
to understand about me...

INT. KITCHEN, COBB AND MAL'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Ariadne follows Cobb into the kitchen. A THIN MAN is there,
standing by the table. He holds a FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER.

ARIADNE
This is your house?

COBB
Mine and Mal's.

ARIADNE
Where is she?

COBB
She'd already died.

The Thin Man offers Cobb the piece of paper. A CHILD'S SHOUT-
Cobb TURNS. Ariadne follows his gaze to the garden. A small
blonde boy faces away from them, crouched on his haunches to
look at something on the ground.

COBB
It's James. My boy. He's found
something. Maybe a worm.

A slightly older girl RUNS into view.

COBB
And there's Philippa.

She crouches beside the boy. Their FACES ARE AWAY FROM US.
They point and discuss whatever is on the ground.
69.

COBB
I thought about calling out, so
they'd turn and smile those
incredible smiles... but I'm out of
time-

The Thin Man thrusts the paper into Cobb's hand.

THIN MAN
Right now. Or never, Cobb.

Cobb nods, turns from the window-

COBB
Then I panic that I'll always wish
I'd seen them turn, that I can't
waste this chance...

Cobb TURNS BACK to call out- but the children RACE OFF...

COBB
But the moment's passed. And
whatever I do, the dream's always
the same... When I'm about to
call... they run.

Cobb watches them run off, calling for grandma, FACES UNSEEN.

COBB
If I'm going to see their faces
again-I've got to get back here in
the real world...

Behind him, Ariadne SLAMS the grill shut. Cobb TURNS.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne hits the BASEMENT button. The elevator starts to
DESCEND. ariadne STARES, fascinated as glimpses of floors
slip past: Mal's childhood bedroom, a thundering wall of
freight train... The elevator STOPS. Through the grill
Ariadne sees a HOTEL SUITE. She pulls open the grill, steps
cautiously out into-
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Ariadne sees Cobb and Mal arguing about their past and dreams. She follows Cobb into a dream where he tries to see his children's faces again, but fails every time. Ariadne questions Cobb on his obsession with dreams and memories.
Strengths "The scene portrays the emotional turmoil that Cobb is going through, torn between his love for Mal and the regret of not being able to see his children's faces. The dialogue is poignant and adds depth to the characters."
Weaknesses "The scene is slow-paced and lacks action. The conflict is internal and does not involve any external threats or obstacles, making it less engaging."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the emotional depth of Cobb's character. The use of flashbacks and dreams adds to the complexity of the story and adds depth to the characters. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

- The dialogue could be more concise and impactful. There are moments when the characters repeat themselves or state the obvious. For example, when Mal asks Cobb if he remembers when he asked her to marry him, he responds with "Of course..." which is unnecessary.
- The pace of the scene could be faster. There are moments when Cobb stares off into the distance or pauses before responding to Ariadne's questions, which slows down the momentum of the scene.
- The use of flashbacks and dreams could be more clearly defined. There are times when it's not entirely clear whether a scene is a memory, a dream, or a combination of the two. Clarifying these distinctions would help the audience understand the story better.
Suggestions There are a few ways to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the conflict: While there is a conflict in the scene between Cobb's desire to be with his family and his need to perform tests, it could be made more explicit. Perhaps Ariadne could voice her concern more directly and ask him why he's risking everything for these tests.

2. Show, don't tell: While the dialogue between Cobb and Mal helps to establish their relationship and Cobb's motivations, there could be more opportunities to show their history. One possible suggestion is to have flashbacks of their relationship shown while they talk.

3. Cut down on exposition: There is a fair amount of exposition in the scene, especially when Cobb explains to Ariadne why he's doing what he's doing. Try to find a way to convey this information through action and dialogue rather than just telling the audience.

4. Increase the tension: While there is tension between Cobb and Mal, the scene overall lacks a sense of urgency or danger. Adding a ticking clock element or complicating the situation with additional obstacles could make the scene more exciting and engaging.



Scene 26 -  The Promise
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. ELEGANT HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS (NOW NIGHT)

DISHEVELED bedclothes, UPENDED room service table,
STRAWBERRIES across the floor. A STRUGGLE. Ariadne steps
forwards- SMASH− she looks down to see that she has kicked
over a CHAMPAGNE FLUTE. Ariadne feels a draught. The CURTAIN
BILLOWS.

MAL (O.S.)
What are you doing here?

Ariadne TURNS. Mal is there.
70.

ARIADNE
My name is-

MAL
I know who you are. What are you
doing here?

ARIADNE
I don't know. Trying to understand.

MAL
How could you understand? Do you
know what it is to be a lover? To
be half of a whole?

ARIADNE
No.

Mal moves slowly towards Ariadne...

MAL
I'll tell you a riddle. You're
waiting for a train. A train that
will take you far away. You know
where you hope this train will take
you, but you don't know for sure...

Mal glides around Ariadne, looking her over.

MAL
But... it doesn't matter. How can
it not matter to you where that
train will take you?

COBB (O.S.)
Because you'll be together.

Cobb is standing in the elevator. Mal nods. Looks at him.

MAL
How could you bring her here, Dom?

ARIADNE
What is this place?

COBB
A hotel. We spent our anniversaries
in this suite.

ARIADNE
What happened here?

Mal picks up the BROKEN STEM of a champagne flute...
71.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb PULLS Ariadne into the elevator- Mal THROWS herself
towards Ariadne- Cobb SLAMS the GRILL- Mal SMASHES against it
AGAIN and AGAIN like a WILD ANIMAL- Ariadne FLINCHES-

MAL
you PROMISED! YOU SAID WE'D BE
TOGETHER!-

COBB
We can. We will. But I need you to
stay here for now-

MAL
YOU SAID WE'D GROW OLD TOGETHER!-

Cobb pushes a button and the elevator starts to rise.

COBB
I'll come back. I need you to stay
here on your own for now. Just
while I do this job. Then we can be
together-

MAL
WE'LL BE TOGETHER-YOU PROMISED!-

Mal THROWS herself against the grill, and. we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Ariadne watches Cobb sleeping. His eyes gradually flicker
open. He sees her watching him.

ARIADNE
You think you can just build a
prison of memories to lock her in?
You think that's going to contain
her?

The LIGHTS COME ON: Saito and Arthur stand in the doorway.

SAITO
Maurice Fischer just died in Sydney.

COBB
When's the funeral?

SAITO
Thursday. In Los Angeles.
72.

COBB
Robert'll accompany the body
Tuesday at the outside. We have to
move.

Cobb gets up. Ariadne comes over to him.

ARIADNE
(low)
I'm coming with you.

COBB
No. I promised Miles.

ARIADNE
The team needs someone in there who
understands what you're struggling
with. If you don't want it to be me
then you need to show Arthur what I
just saw.

Cobb looks at Ariadne. Turns to Saito.

COBB
We need one more seat on the plane.

INT. DEPARTURE GATE, SYDNEY - DAY

Saito stands looking out the window at a 747. Cobb arrives
beside him. They watch a COFFIN being loaded.

COBB
If I get on this plane and you
haven't taken care of things...
when we land I go to jail for the
rest of my life.

SAITO
Complete the job en route, I make
one phone call from the plane...
you will have no trouble clearing
immigration.

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - CONTINUOUS

The luxurious cabin has only ten seats. Cobb finds his- sees
Ariadne in the seat behind his. They do not acknowledge each
other. Behind her is Arthur, looking out the window. Eames
enters, STUFFS his bag into the overhead bin, BLOCKING the
passenger behind: ROBERT FISCHER, standing there, patient,
bag in hand, wearing black.

EAMES
Oh, sorry.
73.

Eames SQUEEZES up against his seat to let Fischer BRUSH PAST.
Fischer moves to his seat, directly in front of Cobb. Eames
TOSSES Cobb a PASSPORT. Cobb flips it open: Fischer's.
Pockets it. Yusuf and Saito enter, take their seats.

EXT. RUNWAY - MOMENTS LATER

The 747 HURTLES down the runway.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Ariadne finds herself in a hotel room with Mal and Cobb, witnessing the tumultuous relationship between the two. Cobb leaves her with Mal in the room, causing her to spiral out of control. Later, Ariadne confronts Cobb about his plans and insists on joining the team for their new job.
Strengths "The tension and conflict between the characters is palpable, especially in the scene between Mal and Cobb. The emotional impact of the scene is also very strong."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be more nuanced and less on-the-nose at times. The pacing of the scene could be improved as well."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written, but there are a few areas that could be improved. The dialogue between Mal and Ariadne is a bit on the nose and could benefit from more subtlety. The riddle that Mal poses to Ariadne feels forced and doesn't flow naturally in the conversation. Additionally, there are a few too many abrupt cuts between different locations, making it feel a bit disjointed and jarring at times.

However, the tension and conflict between Mal and Cobb is well-executed, and adds depth to their characters and relationship. The physical struggle between Mal and the elevator grill is particularly effective in conveying the intensity of their emotions.

That being said, as a standalone scene, it's unclear what the overall goal or purpose is. It feels like a moment in the middle of a larger narrative, rather than a complete scene with its own distinct arc.

Overall, while there are areas for improvement, the scene effectively builds tension and conflict between its characters, and leaves the audience curious to see what will happen next.
Suggestions -Overall, this scene could benefit from more clarity and a stronger visual focus.

-First, the opening description could benefit from more specific details to give the setting a sense of place and atmosphere. Is the room dark and shadowy? Does it have any discernible style or decor?

-The dialogue between Mal and Ariadne could benefit from more specificity as well. What is Ariadne trying to understand? What does Mal mean by being "half of a whole"?

-The riddle that Mal poses to Ariadne feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the scene - it could either be cut or integrated more meaningfully into the conversation.

-The action in the elevator, with Mal throwing herself against the grille, could also benefit from more specificity in terms of the physical stakes and what this action accomplishes for the story.

-The transition to the workshop scene feels abrupt and could benefit from a more graceful transition or connective tissue between the two settings.

-The conversation between Ariadne and Cobb in the workshop could also benefit from more clarity and specificity - specifically, what prison of memories is Ariadne referring to? How does this relate to the larger story?

-The later portion of the scene with Saito and Fischer feels like a separate beat altogether and could also benefit from more narrative connective tissue to the earlier scenes.



Scene 27 -  The Inception Job - Part 3
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb looks down at his hand: a TINY VIAL taped to the center
of his palm. He removes the cap. The seatbelt sign goes dark.
Cobb unbuckles, stands.

COBB
Excuse me?

Fischer looks up.

FISCHER
Yes?

COBB
I think this is yours...

Cobb holds up the open passport, comparing the picture to
Fischer. Fischer's hand goes to his pocket. Cobb hands
Fischer the passport.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Would you gentlemen care for a
drink?

FISCHER
Water.

COBB
Same.

Fischer gives Cobb a thin smile. Holds up his passport.

FISCHER
Well, thank you.

COBB
No problem. Look, I couldn't help
noticing your name. You're not
related to Maurice Fischer?

Fischer takes a beat. But Cobb seems harmless.

FISCHER
Actually, he was my father.
74.

COBB
I'm very sorry for your loss. He
was an inspiring figure.

The Flight Attendant brings their drinks- Cobb takes them.

COBB
Thanks.

As he turns to Fischer he LOWERS his right hand ... a CLEAR
LIQUID DROPS into Fischer's water as Cobb hands it to him.

COBB
To Maurice Fischer.
(they drink)
I'll leave you in peace.

Fischer grants him a smile.

EXT. 747 - LATER

The great plane SOARS through a burning cloudscape.

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb reaches into the overhead for a blanket- lets it fall
onto Fischer's head- Fischer doesn't flinch. ASLEEP. Cobb
SIGNALS the others. The First Flight Attendant unlocks a
CUPBOARD in the galley, then leaves, closing the curtain.
Arthur moves into the galley and pulls out a MECHANISM CASE.

Cobb and Arthur open the mechanism- uncoil the tubes- feed
them around the window side of each of the seats. Arthur
rolls up Fischer's cuff- PUSHES the needle cap into Fischer's
wrist. Arthur pulls Fischer's cuff down and hides the tubes
behind the armrest of Fischer's seat.

Arthur runs the next tube to Ariadne. Cobb puts the case on
Yusuf's lap. Yusuf checks the TIMERS, tapping the syringes.
The others recline their seats. Yusuf HITS A BUTTON- closes
the case- places it at his feet. He settles back, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. SEDAN - DAY

Cobb DRIVES. Saito and Arthur are in the back. Rain BEATS
down. Cobb pulls over-

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf stands on the corner, silver briefcase in hand, collar
turned up against the rain. He reaches for the door.
75.

INT. SEDAN - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf clambers into the back, brushing rain from his face.

ARTHUR
(indicates rain)
Couldn't you have peed before you
went under?

YUSUF
Sorry.

The front door OPENS and Eames climbs in, soaked.

EAMES
Bit too much free champagne before
takeoff, Yusuf?

YUSUF
Ha bloody ha.

COBB
At least we know he'll be looking
for a cab in this.

INT./EXT. SEDAN ON RAINY NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls out into the heavy traffic. He weaves around
several cars before lining up behind a YELLOW CAB.

COBB
Brace yourselves.

Cobb hits the gas- REAR ENDS the cab with a CRUNCH. The
CABDRIVER gets out, fuming. Heads to Cobb's window-

CABDRIVER
Hey, asshole! Why don't you try
driving without your thumb up-

He sees the SILENCED PISTOL Cobb is holding at his belly.

COBB
Walk away.

The Cabdriver backs off. Arthur climbs into the cab. Both
cars pull away.
Genres: ["thriller","crime"]

Summary Cobb drugs Fischer and the rest of the team prepares for the dream-inception. They all meet up in a car to head to the target location in New York City.
Strengths "Suspenseful buildup to the inception scene. Good character development between Cobb and Fischer."
Weaknesses "Lack of action in the scene."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and serves its purpose in advancing the plot. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

- The dialogue between Cobb and Fischer at the beginning feels a bit stilted and unnatural. It could be more organic and subtle in revealing their backgrounds and motivations.
- The action in the scene where Cobb and his team set up the dream heist could be more visually descriptive and clear. It's a bit confusing to follow what they are doing with the tubes and needles.
- The climax of the scene where Cobb rear-ends the taxi and threatens the driver with a gun feels a bit implausible and generic. It's a cliched action movie trope that doesn't quite fit with the rest of the scene's sensibilities.

Overall, the scene serves its purpose in advancing the plot, but could benefit from more natural and nuanced dialogue and clearer action description.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve the scene would be to add more tension and suspense to the moment when Cobb drops the clear liquid into Fischer's water. The current scene feels too relaxed and casual, making it less impactful. Adding more buildup and tension beforehand, perhaps with Fischer expressing suspicion or hesitation towards Cobb's offer to toast his father, could create a more impactful and suspenseful moment.

Additionally, the dialogue between Cobb and Fischer could be tweaked to reveal more about their characters and their motivations. Right now, the conversation feels a bit superficial and generic. Adding more depth to their dialogue could make the scene more engaging and memorable.



Scene 28 -  Escape in a Cab
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT./EXT. CAB ON RAINY NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Arthur SLOWS in front of the TRAIN STATION, peering at the
pedes pedestrians. He SPOTS Fischer, lights the cab's sign.
Fischer FLAGS him down. Fischer JUMPS into the back, brushing
rain from his shoulders.
76.

FISCHER
Third and Market. Snappy.

Eames JUMPS in from the other side.

FISCHER
What're you doing?

EAMES
Sorry, I thought it was free. Maybe
we could share.

FISCHER
Maybe not.

Saito gets into the front passenger seat. Pointing a gun.

FISCHER
Great.

Arthur pulls away. Fischer pulls out his wallet and tosses it
at Eames.

FISCHER
(contemptuous)
There's 500 dollars in there. And
the wallet's worth more than that.
For that you ought to at least drop
me at my stop.

Eames smiles at this.

EAMES
I'm afraid-

A SHOT SHATTERS the window by Eames's head- another SHOT
IMPACTS by Saito-

EAMES
Get us out of here!

Arthur hits the gas, but a BLACK S.U.V. SKIDS sideways in
front, BLOCKING the path-

A BLOCK BEHIND- Cobb is at a light. ARIADNE is getting in the
front. Cobb has HEARD the GUNFIRE-

COBB
Come on!-

Cobb looks ahead to the AMBUSH, hits the gas- the sedan
ROCKETS forwards... but BAM- A FREIGHT TRAIN CLIPS THE FRONT
OF THE SEDAN, SHOVING IT SIDEWAYS AS AN ENDLESS TRAIN BARRELS
PAST, A WALL BETWEEN COBB AND THE AMBUSH-
77.

A SECOND S.U.V. is behind the cab- PLAIN CLOTHES SECURITY MEN
advance through the traffic, weapons trained on the cab.
Bullets RIP into the cab as Eames throws himself on top of
Fischer, PULLING a SACK over his head-

Inside the sedan, Ariadne watches the train passing-

ARIADNE
This wasn't in the design-

Cobb BACKS UP, SPINS around, heading for the tail of the
train-

A Security Man emerges from the front S.U.V. carrying an
AUTOMATIC RIFLE- he steps towards the cab through the rain,
raises his weapon and BLASTS THE CAB'S WINDSCREEN-

Cobb clears the end of the train, and SKIDS across the tracks-

Arthur CROUCHES down- PUSHES the accelerator with his HAND-
YANKS the wheel- FLYING BLIND. The cab NAILS the Security
Man, CRUNCHING into the front S.U.V.-

Cobb SMASHES his car into the rear S.U.V., creating a GAP-

Arthur YANKS the transmission and REVERSES- SCRAPING through
the gap- Security Men DIVE out of the way- Arthur throws a
ragged J-turn to head down a SIDE STREET- Cobb follows in the
other car. Rain whips across Arthur's face as he BREATHES-

ARTHUR
Everybody okay? Saito?

Arthur looks at Saito. Saito's hand is at his belly. Covered
in BLOOD.

EXT. WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

The sedan and cab pull into the side entrance- Eames jumps
out− PULLS the shutter down behind them-
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur slows the cab down in front of the train station and Fischer flags him down. As Eames enters the cab, the group is attacked, and they have to make a daring escape through the city streets.
Strengths "Fast-paced action, intense conflict, and tense moments make this scene stand out."
Weaknesses "The characters' personalities and motivations could be more developed."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene is well-written and structured. It has a clear goal, obstacle and conflict, and the stakes are high. The pacing and tension are also well-executed and help keep the audience engaged.

However, there are a few minor issues that could be improved upon. For instance, the dialogue between Fischer and Eames could be stronger and more impactful. Also, the character arcs could be more developed, and the scene could benefit from a deeper exploration of their motivations and objectives.

Overall, though, this scene is a solid example of good screenwriting and would likely be effective on screen.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written with good action and tension building. However, there are a few suggestions that could make it even better:

1. Give more context: It's not entirely clear what the characters are doing or why they are being ambushed. Adding a bit more background information could help the audience understand the stakes and heighten the tension.

2. Make the dialogue more distinctive: The dialogue between Fischer and Eames is a bit generic and doesn't give much insight into their characters. Consider making their voices more distinct - for example, Fischer could be more uptight and formal, while Eames is more laid-back and irreverent.

3. Make the action more visual: While the scene is written well, it could benefit from more visual description. For example, instead of just saying "Arthur hits the gas," describe the pedal being slammed to the floor and the engine roaring to life. This will help the audience visualize the action and feel more immersed in the scene.

4. Heighten the stakes: The gunshot that shatters the window is a good start, but consider adding more immediate danger to the scene - for example, the cab being hit by a hail of bullets and Arthur having to swerve to avoid them. This will make the chase feel even more intense and dangerous.



Scene 29 -  The Plan Goes Wrong
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf and Eames PULL Fischer from the cab, HUSTLING him
through a doorway. Cobb JUMPS out of the sedan, furious.

COBB
Arthur! Arthur what the-

Arthur pulls the bloody Saito from the front seat.

COBB
Oh, Christ. Is he dying?
78.

ARTHUR
I don't know. What happened back
there? Where were you?

COBB
We were blocked by a freight train.

ARTHUR
(to Ariadne)
Why would you put a train crossing
in a downtown intersection?

ARIADNE
I didn't.

COBB
(snaps)
Why were we all ambushed, Arthur?!
Those weren't regular projections-
they'd been trained!

ARIADNE
How could they be trained?

ARTHUR
Fischer's had an extractor teach
his mind to defend itself. His
subconscious is militarized. It
should've shown on the research-

COBB
So why the hell didn't it?!

ARTHUR
Calm down.

COBB
Don't tell me to calm down-you were
meant to check Fischer's background
thoroughly. You can't make this
kind of mistake-we're not prepared
for this kind of violence-

ARTHUR
Cobb, we've dealt with sub-security
before. We just have to be more-

COBB
This wasn't part of the plan, Arthur!
(points at Saito)
He's dying!

EAMES
So we put him out of his misery.
79.

Eames steps into the room, pulls his gun and moves over
Saito.

COBB
No.

EAMES
He's in agony. Let's wake him up-

Cobb GRABS Eames's arm.

COBB
No!
(they lock eyes)
It won't wake him up.

EAMES
What do you mean, it won't wake
him? When you die in a dream you
wake up.

YUSUF
Not from this. We're too heavily
sedated to wake up that way.

Eames looks at Yusuf, then to Cobb.

EAMES
So what happens if one of us dies?

COBB
That person doesn't wake up. Their
mind drops into Limbo.

ARIADNE
Limbo?

ARTHUR
Unconstructed dream space.

ARIADNE
What's down there?

ARTHUR
Raw, infinite subconscious. Nothing
there but what was left behind by
anyone on the team who's been trapped
there before. On this team... just
Cobb.

ARIADNE
How long would we be stuck there?
80.

YUSUF
You couldn't even think about
trying to escape until the sedation
eases-

EAMES
How long?

YUSUF
Decades-it could be infinite-I
don't know! Ask him-he's the one
who's been there before!

Eames moves to Cobb. Looks him in the eye.

EAMES
Great. So now we're stuck in
Fischer's mind battling it out with
his private army, and if we get hit
we're stuck in Limbo 'til our
brains dissolve into scrambled egg?

Cobb says nothing. Saito groans more loudly.

ARTHUR
Let's just get him upstairs.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb and his team attempt to extract Fischer from his mind, but he has trained his subconscious to defend itself, leading to a violent ambush. Saito is gravely injured, and the team realizes that they are heavily sedated and could be stuck in Limbo if they die in the dream.
Strengths "Intense conflict and high stakes escalate the tension of the scene. The concept of Limbo adds depth and raises the stakes even higher. The dialogue is efficient and reveals key information about the characters' situation."
Weaknesses "The pacing of the scene feels slow at times, with characters repeating information that has already been established. The emotional impact is somewhat muted by the rapid pace of events."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The conflict between the characters is clear and their motivations are well-established. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

- The dialogue, while realistic, could benefit from more subtext and nuance. Some of the lines come across as too on-the-nose, particularly Cobb's angry outbursts. Adding more subtext would make the scene more interesting to watch and allow the actors to show more complexity in their performances.

- The scene could benefit from more visual description. While it's clear what's happening in terms of the characters' actions, there's not a lot of description of the setting or the characters' physical reactions. Enhancing the visual elements of the scene would make it more cinematic and allow the audience to feel more immersed in the story.

- Finally, the scene could use a bit more character development. While the conflict between the characters is interesting, we don't learn much about their backgrounds or motivations. Adding a few moments of introspection or vulnerability could make them more relatable and add depth to the story.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions for improving the scene:

1. Provide more context: It's not clear why the characters are at the warehouse or what has happened before this scene. Adding some context could make the scene more meaningful.

2. Develop character emotions: Although there is some emotion in the scene, such as Cobb's anger and concern for Saito, there could be more. Developing the character's emotions could add depth and make the audience care about them.

3. Show, don't tell: Instead of having characters explain things to each other, try to show what's happening. This could be done through actions, reactions, and dialogue that reveals character motivation.

4. Simplify the dialogue: The scene could benefit from simpler, more direct dialogue. Some of the dialogue currently feels too exposition-heavy and could be rewritten to be more concise and effective.

5. Cut unnecessary lines: Some of the lines in the scene don't add much to the story or character development. Cutting them could help the scene flow better and keep the focus on what's important.



Scene 30 -  The Heist
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Saito is laid out on an old desk. Arthur examines him. He
motions to Ariadne. Eames watches Cobb.

ARTHUR
Hold this. Firm pressure.

Arthur turns to Cobb.

ARTHUR
You knew the risks and you didn't
tell us.

COBB
There wasn't meant to be any risk.
We weren't supposed to be dealing
with a load of gunnre.

ARTHUR
You had no right.

COBB
It's the only way you can go three
layers deep, Arthur.

Arthur turns to Yusuf, hostile.
81.

ARTHUR
And you. You went along with this?

YUSUF
I trusted him.

ARTHUR
You trusted him? When? When he
promised you half his share?

YUSUF
(offended)
No! His whole share. Plus, he told
me he'd done it before.

Arthur turns to Cobb.

ARTHUR
Oh, yeah? With Mal? That worked out
great, didn't it, Cobb?

Cobb grabs Arthur.

COBB
You don't know anything about that.
This was the only way to do this
job, Arthur. I did what I had to do
to get back to my children.

EAMES
So you led us into a war zone with
no way out.

COBB
We have a way out. The kick. We
just have to push on, do the job as
fast as possible and get out using
the kick.

EAMES
Forget it. We go any deeper, we
just raise the stakes. I'm sitting
it out on this level.

COBB
You'll never make it, Eames.
Fischer's security is surrounding
this place as we speak. The ten
hours of the flight is a week at
this level−you'll never make it
without getting killed. Downwards
is the only way forwards. We have
to carry on.

Saito groans. Cobb looks at him-
82.

COBB
And we have to do it fast.

Eames and Arthur weigh this.

COBB
Eames, go get ready. Arthur, let's
get in there and soften him up.

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - LATER

Cobb and Arthur, wearing BALACLAVAS, PULL the sack from
Fischer's head. He is chained to the radiator.

FISCHER
I'm insured against kidnapping up
to ten million-this'll be simple-

COBB
No, it won't.

Fischer looks at Cobb, unnerved.

ARTHUR
In. your lather's office, below the
bookshelves, is his personal safe.
We need the combination.

FISCHER
I never noticed a safe-

COBB
Doesn't mean you don't know the
combination.

FISCHER
Well, I don't.

ARTHUR
We have it on good authority that
you do.

FISCHER
Whose?

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf looks through Fischer's wallet. Eames is opening a
HINGED, THREE-WING MIRROR.

YUSUF
Five hundred dollars, this cost?

EAMES
What's inside?
83.

YUSUF
Cash, cards, ID... and this-

Yusuf holds up a SNAPSHOT: the photo from Maurice Fischer's
office− YOUNG ROBERT holds his HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, his FATHER
blows on it. Eames takes it from Yusuf. STUDIES it. Cobb
enters. Eames hands him the snapshot.

EAMES
Useful?

Cobb studies the snapshot. Eames examines himself in the
hinged mirror from multiple angles: ONE BY ONE the myriad
Eames reflections BECOME BROWNINGS. Cobb pockets the photo.

COBB
You're on. You've got an hour.

EAMES
An hour? I was supposed to have all
night to crack him.

COBB
And Saito was supposed to keep his
guts on the inside. You've got an
hour-get something we can use.

Eames turns from the mirror AS BROWNING. He glances at his
watch, then SCREAMS, as if begging for mercy-

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Browning's CRY reverberates- Fischer looks up, concerned-

FISCHER
What's that?

ARTHUR
Good authority.

Another cry rings out. Fischer recognizes the voice.

FISCHER
Uncle Peter?! Make them stop-

ARTHUR
The combination.

FISCHER
I don't know it!

ARTHUR
Why would Browning tell us you did?

FISCHER
Let me talk to him-I'll find out.
84.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary The team confronts Cobb about the dangerous risks he took leading them into a war zone. They must now move quickly to extract the information they need from Fischer, while facing a ticking clock and increasing danger.
Strengths "Tense dialogue raises the stakes, building tension as the characters argue and struggle to complete the job in difficult circumstances. Strong characterizations give each member of the team a unique voice and perspective."
Weaknesses "The scene is somewhat exposition-heavy, with characters discussing the plot and backstory at length. Additionally, some of the dialogue feels slightly cliched or predictable."
Critique There are a few things that could be improved in this scene. Firstly, the dialogue feels a bit expositional and unnatural, as the characters are explaining things to each other that they should already know. For example, when Arthur tells Yusuf to hold firm pressure, it's clear that he's dealing with a wound and doesn't need to explicitly state that he's trying to stop the bleeding.

Secondly, the action could be more detailed and descriptive. For example, when Fischer is chained to the radiator, it would be helpful to know what kind of chains they are, how he's positioned, and how he's reacting to being restrained.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more emotional tension and subtext. Right now, the conflict feels very straightforward and lacking in nuance. It might be more interesting to explore the character's underlying motivations and fears, and to see how their relationships and alliances shift throughout the scene.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Give more physical description: There is no description of the setting, characters, or the movements they are making. Adding some physical description would help the reader visualize the scene and make it more engaging.

2. Develop the conflict: There is already a conflict established between the characters, but it could be developed more to make it more engaging. By adding more emotional intensity, stakes, and personal history to their disagreement, the audience can better understand the weight of the decision they must make.

3. Create more tension: There are a few moments where tension is created, but it could be heightened by making the scenes more vivid and intense. More dramatic music and lighting effects, quick camera cuts, or even a more suspenseful soundtrack could help make the scene more tense.

4. Improve dialogue: The dialogue is functional, but there is room for improvement. The writer could add more depth to the characters' personalities through their dialogue, and create more unique and memorable lines.

5. Add a visual hook: A hook is something that captures the audience's attention and holds it. Adding something visually interesting or unexpected to the scene could help create a more memorable and engaging moment.



Scene 31 -  Finding the Combination
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb pushes Browning (Eames), bloody and bruised, into the
room and forces him down next to Fischer. Cobb handcuffs
Browning's wrist to a metal bracket on the side of the sink.

COBB
You've got an hour. Get talking.

Cobb leaves.

BROWNING (EAMES)
They've had me for two days.
They've got someone with access to
your father's office and they're
trying to open his safe-they
thought I'd know the combination,
but I don't-

FISCHER
Neither do I, Uncle Peter.

BROWNING
(confused)
Maurice told me that after he
passed only you would be able to
open it.

FISCHER
He never gave me the combination.

Browning thinks for a minute. Realizes something.

BROWNING
He did, he just didn't tell you
that it was a combination.

FISCHER
What, then?

BROWNING
Something only you would know. Some
meaningful combination of numbers
from your experiences with Maurice-

FISCHER
We didn't have a lot of meaningful
experiences together.

BROWNING
Perhaps after your mother died...

FISCHER
After my mother died, I went to him
in my grief.
(MORE)
85.
FISCHER (CONT'D)
You know what he told me? "There's
really nothing to be said, Robert."

BROWNING
He always had a hard time with
emotional-

FISCHER
I was eleven, Uncle Peter.

Browning (Eames) takes this in.

BROWNING
He loved you, Robert. In his way.

FISCHER
"In his way?" At the end he called
me to his deathbed. He could barely
speak, but he took the trouble to
say one last thing to me. He pulled
me close... I could make out only
one word. "Disappointed."

Browning can say nothing.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb forces Browning to reveal the combination to open Fischer's father's safe. Browning reveals that the combination is something only Fischer would know, related to his experiences with his father after his mother's death.
Strengths "The scene has a strong emotional impact, especially with Fischer's revelations about his relationship with his father. The tension is high as Cobb is forcing Browning to reveal information. The dialogue is well-written and reveals important information for the plot."
Weaknesses "The scene could have benefited from more action to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes in the film."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written with strong emotional moments as the characters discuss Fischer's father and his safe. The tension is high as Cobb leaves Browning and Fischer alone to figure out the combination to the safe.

One potential issue with the scene is that it could benefit from more action or movement. It takes place entirely in the same location and there is little physical action happening, which could make the scene feel stagnant. Interspersing the dialogue with some movement or action, even something as simple as Fischer pacing or Browning attempting to break free from the handcuffs, could help break up the static setting.

Overall, the scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Fischer's relationship with his father and the difficulty in accessing the safe, but could benefit from more physical movement to keep the scene visually interesting.
Suggestions Firstly, the scene could benefit from using more vivid imagery. Instead of "bloody and bruised," the writer could describe the injuries in more detail to create a stronger visual. For example, "Cobb pushes Browning into the room, blood oozing from a gash above his eye and purple bruises mottling his skin."

Secondly, the scene could use more action to create tension. For instance, instead of having Cobb leave the room immediately, he could hover over Browning and Fischer, making them feel more trapped and vulnerable. This would also give the scene a sense of urgency, as Cobb gives them a time limit to get information.

Thirdly, the dialogue between Browning and Fischer could be more emotionally charged. They are discussing Fischer's father on his deathbed, so there is ample opportunity to create a more heartfelt and poignant conversation. The dialogue could also reveal more about their relationship and add depth to the characters.

Lastly, the writer could consider adding a twist or surprise to the scene to make it more interesting. For example, what if Browning reveals that he knows the combination to the safe all along, but he is refusing to tell Fischer for his own reasons? This would add intrigue and create another obstacle for Cobb and Fischer to overcome.



Scene 32 -  The Truth About Limbo
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls off his balaclava. Looks down at Saito, who is
breathing fast, shallow.

COBB
How's he doing?

ARIADNE
He's in a lot of pain.

Cobb takes Saito's hand. Looks him in the eye.

COBB
When we get you down to the next
level, the pain will be less
intense.

Saito nods, breathing hard.

ARIADNE
(low)
And if he dies?

COBB
His conscious mind will drop out of
the dream. He'll be trapped in
Limbo for a lifetime...

ARIADNE
What will that do to him?
86.

Cobb looks at her. Grave.

COBB
When he wakes... his mind could be
completely gone.

SAITO
When... when we wake I will still
honor our arrangement...

Cobb looks down at Saito sadly.

COBB
Saito-san, when you wake you might
not even remember that we had an
arrangement. You'll have forgotten
this world. Limbo will be your
reality. Lost there so long, you'll
have become an old man...

SAITO
Filled with regret?

COBB
Waiting to die alone. Yes.

SAITO
Then I'll take the chance and come
back. And we'll be young men
together again.

Saito smiles weakly. Cobb nods at him, turns to Ariadne.

ARIADNE
When were you trapped in Limbo?

Cobb says nothing. Ariadne pulls him away from Saito.

ARIADNE
Cobb, you might have convinced the
rest of this team to carry on with
the job. But they don't know the
truth.

COBB
What truth?

ARIADNE
The truth that at any minute you
might bring a freight train through
the wall. The truth that Mal is
bursting up through your
subconscious.
(MORE)
87.
ARIADNE (CONT'D)
The truth that as we go deeper into
Fischer, we're also going deeper
into you-and I'm not sure we're
going to like what we find there.

Cobb stares back at Ariadne. Saying nothing.

ARIADNE
This is not just about Fischer,
it's about you. Tell me what
happened to you and Mal. Trapped in
Limbo.

Cobb looks at her. Thinking it through.

COBB
We were on a job. Exploring dreams
within dreams. But we didn't
understand how your mind can turn
hours into years. How you can get
trapped. Trapped so deep that when
you wash up on the shore of your
subconscious...

INSERT CUT: MAL LIES ON THE SAND, STARING UP AT A CLOUDLESS
SKY, WAVES WASHING OVER HER...

COBB
You can lose track of what's real.

ARIADNE
How long were you stuck?

Cobb pauses before he answers. Looks at Ariadne.

COBB
Fifty years.

Ariadne stares at him, incredulous.

ARIADNE
How did you stand it?

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL BUILD A SANDCASTLE ON THE BEACH...
COBB
We built. We created a whole world
for ourselves...

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL WALK THROUGH A DESERTED CITY.

COBB
It's not so bad at first, being
gods. The problem is knowing that
it's not real. It became impossible
for me to live like that.
88.

ARIADNE
But not for her?

COBB
She accepted it. At some point...

INSERT CUT:

INT. MAL'S CHILDHOOD HOME - DAY

Mal opens a DOLL'S HOUSE. Inside is a SAFE. She opens it- it
is empty. She pulls out her SPINNING TOP.

COBB (V.O.)
...she'd decided to forget that our
world wasn't real.

Mal places the top inside the safe. LOCKS IT AWAY...

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

ARIADNE
And when you finally woke up?

COBB
To wake from that. From decades
lived. To be old souls thrown back
into youth. It was hard. At first
Mal seemed okay. But I started to
realize something was wrong.
Finally she admitted it. This idea
she was possessed by. This simple
little idea that changed
everything...

ARIADNE
What was it?

COBB
That our world was not real. No
matter what I did, no matter what I
said, she was convinced that we
were still in a dream. That we
needed to wake up again...

INT. COBB AND MAL'S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Cobb is trying to calm Mal, who is hysterical.

COBB (V.O.)
That to get home we'd have to kill
ourselves.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Cobb, Ariadne, and Saito discuss the dangers of Limbo and learn about Cobb's past experience being trapped there with his wife, Mal.
Strengths "Intense dialogue and character development, intriguing background on Limbo."
Weaknesses "Lack of action."
Critique This scene can be improved with some clear introduction and setting. Right now, it feels too abrupt and it's difficult to follow who is speaking when. It would be more effective to start with a brief description of the surroundings and characters.

Also, there are some elements that may not be clear to the audience. For example, what is Limbo? What does it mean to be "trapped in Limbo"? How did Cobb and Mal end up there? These elements need to be clarified for the audience to fully understand the stakes of the scene.

One way to improve the scene would be to add more sensory details and dialogue that reveal the inner emotions and motivations of the characters. For example, we could see Saito's physical pain and hear the desperation in his voice as he makes his decision to take the risk to come back. We could also see Cobb's regret and guilt as he recounts his past experiences with Mal.

Overall, the scene has potential but it needs more effective structuring and clearer stakes for the audience.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to break up the long exposition with some action or movement. For example, while Cobb is explaining his experience in Limbo, we could see Ariadne getting increasingly concerned and pacing around the room. This would add some visual interest and also heighten the tension.

Another suggestion would be to show more of Saito's reaction to the conversation. Right now he only speaks a few lines and nods, but considering the gravity of the situation, it would be powerful to see him struggle with the decision to continue or potentially be trapped in Limbo forever.

Lastly, there could be a tighter focus on the emotions of the characters in the scene. We get a lot of information about what happened in Limbo and the risks involved, but not as much about how the characters are feeling about it all. This could be explored through their facial expressions, body language, and dialogue.



Scene 33 -  Mal and Cobb's Tragic Love Story
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne looks at Cobb, appalled.
89.

ARIADNE
What about your children?

Cobb has to look away.

COBB
She... she believed they weren't
real. That our real children were
waiting. Somewhere above...

INT. COBB AND MAL'S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Mal shakes her head at Cobb as he USHERS the children out of
the room, FACES UNSEEN-

COBB
Calm down, Mal-

MAL
They're projections, Dom. Your
dreams. I'm their mother-don't you
think I can tell the difference?

Cobb closes the door- turns to her, eyes full of bitter
tears.

COBB
If it's my dream then why can't I
control it? Why can't I stop this?

MAL
(it's obvious)
You don't know you're dreaming.

COBB
You keep telling me I am-

MAL
And you don't believe me!

COBB (V.O.)
She was certain. But she loved me
too much to go without me. So she
made a plan...
INT. ELEGANT HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Cobb walks along, checking door numbers against a key.

COBB (V.O.)
For our anniversary...

INT. ELEGANT HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)

Cobb enters the lavish suite. He notices the DISHEVELED
BEDCLOTHES.
90.

He steps forwards- SMASH- he has tipped over a champagne
glass with his foot... dinner for two is SPREAD ACROSS THE
FLOOR. He looks at the DEBRIS, confused... next to the broken
glass is a SPINNING TOP. He picks it up, studying it,
thinking. He feels a draught, looks to the window. The
CURTAIN BILLOWS.

EXT. EXTERIOR ATRIUM - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)

Cobb looks out the window: Mal sits on the ledge of the
opposite window. HAIR BLOWING. Feet dangling over the
dizzyingly high atrium. She smiles.

MAL
Join me.

COBB
Mal, come back inside.

MAL
No. I'm going to jump. And you're
coming with me.

COBB
No, I'm not. This is real-if you
jump, you're not going to wake up,
you're going to die. Let's go back
inside and talk about this, please.

MAL
We've talked enough.

She KICKS off a shoe and watches it DROP.

MAL
Come out onto the ledge or I'll
jump right now.

She means it. Cobb swings his legs out, sitting on the ledge
opposite is wife. He looks down at the drop.

MAL
I'm asking you to take a leap of
faith.

COBB
I can't do that, Mal. I can't leave
our children.

MAL
If I go without you, they'll take
them away, anyway.

COBB
What do you mean?
91.

MAL
I filed a letter with our attorney.
Explaining how I'm fearful for my
safety, how you've threatened to
kill me...

Cobb looks back at the wrecked hotel suite, PANICKING...

MAL (CONT’D)
I love you, Dom. I’ve freed you
from the guilt of choosing to leave
them. We’re going home to our real
children.

COBB
Out children are here, Mal.

Mal CLOSES HER EYES. Cobb looks for some way to reach her...

MAL
You’re waiting for a train...

COBB
NO! MAL, NO, I CAN’T!

MAL
A train that will take you far
away...

COBB
DON’T DO THIS!

MAL
You know where you hope this train
will take you, you can’t know for
sure...

COBB
DON’T!

MAL
But it doesn’t matter...

COBB
NO!

MAL
Because you’ll be together...

Mal SLIPS FORWARD INTO SPACE. Cobb SCREAMS after her. Then
tries to bury his face in the wall...

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - DAY

Cobb stares as he remembers.
92.

COBB
He letter to the authorities
refuted all the claims about her
sanity that she knew I’d make...
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb recalls the moment Mal took her own life to escape their shared dream world, leaving him with the unbearable guilt of her confession to their real-world attorney about Cobb's alleged threats to kill her.
Strengths "The scene successfully reveals the tragic backstory of the main character's guilt and grief due to his failed marriage and the loss of his love in both dream and reality. The intense emotions of the characters are palpable."
Weaknesses "The scene could have benefited from more visual storytelling and less exposition."
Critique Overall, the scene is effective in conveying the emotional weight of Cobb's past and the choices he has had to make. The use of flashbacks adds depth to his character and strengthens the audience's understanding of his motivations.

However, there are a few areas that could use improvement. The dialogue is a bit clunky at times, especially in the kitchen flashback. Some of the lines feel forced and unnatural. Additionally, the flashback to the hotel room could benefit from more description and sensory detail. The emotion of the scene is strong, but the physical environment could be better realized to add further immersion.

Overall, this is a compelling scene, but with some minor adjustments, it could be stronger.
Suggestions 1. Consider cutting the flashback scene and instead imply it through dialogue. It may be more impactful and reduce the film's overall runtime.

2. Develop the character of Ariadne further. If she is appalled at Cobb's actions, create a scene or dialogue that shows her reaction and her perspective on the situation.

3. Consider emphasizing the emotional impact of the scene on Cobb. He is revealing his guilt and sorrow over his wife and children. Show how much it weighs on him.

4. Make the dialogue more concise and impactful. Remove unnecessary words and sentences to streamline the scene and make it more memorable.

5. Experiment with the pacing of the scene. Consider adding pauses or brief moments of silence to increase the tension and emotion.



Scene 34 -  Confrontation and Revelation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. COBB AND MAL’S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Cobb stands with the Thin Man, who has a piece of paper.

COBB (V.O.)
She’d had herself declared sane by
three different psychiatrists.

Cobb hears a SHOUT- turns to the garden. James CROUCHES,
Philippa joins him, examining the ground, FACES UNSEEN...

COBB (V.O.) (CONT’D)
It was impossible for me to explain
the nature of her madness...

The Thin Man thrusts the paper into Cobb’s hand.

THIN MAN
Right now. Or never, Cobb.

Cobb turns back to the window- about to call out- James and
Philippa RUN OFF. Cobb turns from the window. Looks at the
paper in his hand. It is an AIRPLANE TICKET.

COBB (V.O.)
So I ran. And I’ve been running
ever since, trying to buy my way
back to my family...

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - DAY

Cobb looks across at Ariadne.

ARIADNE
Psychiatrists judged her sane?

COBB
She was sane. She was just lost in
the labyrinth.

ARIADNE
Then why should you blame yourself?

COBB
Because we were a family. And we
had a life I would do anything to
get back to now. But that reality
wasn’t enough for me then.
93.

ARIADNE
It might have been your idea to
push the limits, Cobb. But you’re
not responsible for the idea that
destroyed her. The idea that her
world wasn’t real... that was her
own idea from her own mind.

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE (CONT’D)
Your guilt defines her. Powers her.
If we’re going to succeed in this,
you’re going to have to forgive
yourself, and you’re going to have
to confront her. But you don’t have
to do it alone.

COBB
You don’t have to do this for me-

ARIADNE
I’m doing it for the others. They
don’t know the risk they’ve taken
coming in here with you.

Cobb looks at the rooftop opposite, sees a SNIPER take up a
position. Cobb shakes his head, frustrated.

COBB
We can’t stay here. Arthur?!

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Browning puts his hand on Fischer’s shoulder.

BROWNING
These people are going to kill us
if we don’t give them the
combination.

FISCHER
They won’t, they’ll try to ransom
us-

BROWNING
I heard them-they’re going to lock
us in and run the can into the
river.

FISCHER
What is in the safe?
94.

BROWNING
Something for you. Maurice always
said it was his most previous
gift... a will.

FISCHER
Maurice’s will is with Port and
Dunn.

BROWNING
It’s an alternate. It supersedes
the other only if you want it to.

FISCHER
What does it say?

BROWNING
It splits all the component
businesses of Fischer Morrow into
individual companies, transferring
ownership to the boards of those
companies...

FISCHER
Leaving me nothing?

BROWNING
A basic living. Nothing more. The
entire empire would cease to exist.

FISCHER
Destroy my own inheritance? Why
would he suggest such a thing?

BROWNING
I don’t know, Robert.

Cobb OPENS the door. Arthur is behind him.

COBB
Come to your senses?

FISCHER
Let us go. I don’t know the
combination. Not consciously.

Cobb considers this. Opens his phone. Pulls out his gun.

COBB
Let’s try instinctively. I have
someone standing in your father’s
office ready to tap in a
combination.

He holds the phone to Fischer’s mouth.
95.

COBB (CONT’D)
First six numbers that come into
your head. Right now.

FISCHER
I have no idea-

Cobb SWINGS the gun onto Browning-

COBB
RIGHT NOW!

FISCHER
Five, two, eight... four, nine,
one.

Cobb lowers his weapon. Listens to the phone. Shakes his
head. Shuts the phone.

COBB
You’ll have to do better. Bag ‘em.

Arthur puts SACKS over their heads.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Cobb reveals to Ariadne the guilt he holds about the loss of his family due to his obsession with his work. Ariadne tries to convince him to let go of his guilt and confront his past, while Fischer is held captive and forced to reveal the combination to a safe.
Strengths "The tension in the scene is palpable as Cobb is forced to confront his past. The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne is impactful, with a strong emotional core."
Weaknesses "The scene jumps abruptly between settings, which can be disorienting for viewers. The subplot with Fischer and Browning can feel disconnected from the main plot at times."
Critique The scene has good pacing and tension with the introduction of the Thin Man and the airplane ticket. The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne about his guilt and his need to confront Mal is a strong emotional moment. The reveal of Fischer's betrayal adds another layer of conflict. Overall, the scene effectively furthers the plot and character development. However, the use of a gun to force Fischer to reveal the safe combination is an unnecessary and potentially problematic plot point. The scene could benefit from finding a more creative solution to this problem that doesn't involve violence or coercion.
Suggestions Some potential suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Tighten the flashback sequence: The scene starts with a flashback that feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the action. Consider tightening this sequence and finding more efficient ways to convey the necessary backstory. Maybe there's a way to weave this information into the current action, rather than having it be its own separate flashback.

2. Clarify the setting in the flashback: We don't know where Cobb and Thin Man are, or why the Thin Man is so insistent that Cobb take the airplane ticket. Adding a few lines of dialogue to establish the setting and the stakes could help make this scene more impactful.

3. Add more tension to the confrontation with the snipers: The sniper taking up position on the rooftop is a great moment of tension, but it feels somewhat rushed. Consider playing up the threat a bit more, giving the audience a sense of how perilous the situation really is.

4. Develop the conversation between Cobb and Ariadne: This conversation feels like a missed opportunity to explore Cobb's guilt and trauma more deeply. Consider delving into this more, fleshing out Ariadne's advice and exploring how Cobb really feels about his past decisions.

5. Give Fischer more agency: Fischer feels somewhat passive in this scene. Consider giving him more agency and allowing him to contribute to the action more directly. Maybe he tries to negotiate with the kidnappers, or comes up with his own plan to escape.



Scene 35 -  Planning the Next Step
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Arthur drag Fischer and Browning to the van-

FISCHER
We’re worth much more to you
alive...

Arthur places Fischer on the back seat- uses a DROPPER to
drop LIQUID onto Fischer’s mask- his head SLUMPS FORWARDS.
“Browning” yanks the sack from his head- it is now EAMES.

EAMES
(excited)
His relationship with his father’s
much worse that we thought.

ARTHUR
That helps us?

Arthur pulls a SNIPER RIFLE from a case by the van.

COBB
The stronger the issues, the more
powerful the catharsis.

Cobb motions for Yusuf to follow his upstairs.

ARTHUR
But how do you reconcile them if
they’re that estranged?
96.

EAMES
I’m working on that.

Arthur lines up a shot through the window-

ARTHUR
Well, work fast-Fischer’s
projections are closing in quick,
we need to break out of here before
we’re totally boxed in...

Arthur SHOOTS two snipers. Cobb and Yusuf gently load Saito
into the van. He groans. Ariadne straps him in, checks his
bandages. Arthur can’t get the last sniper- he’s too hidden
behind a wall-

EAMES
Shouldn’t be afraid to dream a
little bigger, Arthur-

Eames lines up a shot with a grenade launcher. Fires- the
sniper EXPLODES into the air- Arthur looks at Eames.

EAMES (CONT’D)
Shall we?

They climb into the van-

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS

The van pulls out into the rain-drenched streets. Arthur
opens the mechanism case and hands out tubes-

COBB
Shifting Fischer’s antipathy from
his father onto Browning should
work.

EAMES
We need the imagery, the words...

ARIADNE
So you destroy his one positive
relationship?

COBB
No. We repair his relationship with
his father and expose his
godfather’s true nature.

EAMES
Hell, we should be charging Fischer
as much as Saito.
97.

ARTHUR
What about his security? It’s going
to get worse as we go deeper.

COBB
We bring in Mr. Charles.

ARTHUR
No.

EAMES
Who’s Mr. Charles?

ARTHUR
A bad idea.

COBB
Arthur, the second we approach
Fischer in that hotel, they’re
gonna mow us down-we run with Mr.
Charles like on the Stein job.

EAMES
So you’ve done it before?

ARTHUR
Sure. But it didn’t work. The
subject realized he was dreaming
and his subconscious tore us to
pieces.

Eames takes this in.

EAMES
You learned a lot, though. Right?

COBB
(to Eames)
I’ll need a decoy.

EAMES
No problem. How about a pretty
young lady I’ve used before?

COBB
Fine-

Cobb looks back: a second S.U.V. pulls out, tailing them.

COBB (CONT’D)
(to Yusuf)
I know you’ve got to stay ahead of
them, but drive with kid gloves,
okay? The world down there is going
to be very unstable-
98.

ARTHUR
And don’t make the jump too soon-
that kick is our only way back, we
have to be ready to catch it-

YUSUF
I’ll use the music to let you know
when it’s coming, but the rest is
up to you.

Arthur puts the mechanism onto the front seat.

YUSUF (CONT’D)
Everyone ready?

Nods all round.

YUSUF (CONT’D)
Sweet dreams-

Yusuf hits a button and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - SUNSET

Fischer nurses a drink. Staring at the ice cracking.

BLONDE (O.S.)
Am I boring you?

Fischer looks up. A beautiful BLONDE is next to him.

BLONDE (CONT’D)
I was telling you my story. I guess
it wasn’t to your liking.

FISCHER
I have a lot on my mind.

Fischer looks around the bar. There are several STERN-LOOKING
CHARACTERS paying him too much attention.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb and his team plan their next steps on how to shift Fischer's antipathy from his father onto Browning. They discuss bringing in Mr. Charles for security. Fischer has a drink at a hotel lobby bar, being watched by several stern-looking characters.
Strengths "The scene sets up a lot of tension and anticipation for the next steps in the plan. The dialogue is well-written and reveals important plot details. The actions sequences are exciting and well-paced."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks a clear climax or resolution. The introduction of Mr. Charles feels forced and not fully explained."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue. The pacing is effective, and the tension builds towards the end of the scene with the appearance of the Stern-Looking Characters.

There are a few things to note:

- The scene is lacking in description, particularly in terms of setting and character appearance/mannerisms. Without this information, it's difficult to visualize the scene and the characters.

- The dialogue is functional but could benefit from some personality and distinctiveness for each character.

- Some elements of the plot, particularly the use of dream-sharing technology, may require more explanation for audiences who are not familiar with the concept.

Overall, the scene serves its purpose in moving the plot forward and setting up future conflict. With some stronger descriptions and more distinct dialogue, this scene could be even stronger.
Suggestions My suggestions for improving this scene would be:

1. Increase the tension and sense of urgency: While there is action happening in this scene, it could benefit from a heightened sense of urgency. Perhaps there is a deadline that the team is racing against, or the stakes are higher than previously established.

2. Develop the characters more: While Cobb and Arthur are well-established characters by this point in the script, Fischer and Browning/Eames could benefit from more development. Why does Fischer have so much on his mind? What motivates Browning/Eames to be so excited about the information they've uncovered?

3. Add more emotional weight to the scene: The line "His relationship with his father’s much worse than we thought" is a potentially powerful revelation, but it's not given much time or attention. This could be an opportunity to delve deeper into Fischer's character and his issues with his father.

4. Make the dialogue more natural: While the dialogue in this scene is functional, it could be more nuanced and natural. The characters could speak more like real people and less like movie characters. This would make the scene more believable and engaging for the audience.

5. Consider the visual presentation: While the action is described well, there could be more attention paid to the visual presentation of the scene. What does the warehouse look like? How does the rain affect the characters? Adding more visual description could make the scene more immersive for the audience.



Scene 36 -  Subconscious Security
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Arthur and Ariadne sit at a table across the lobby. They spot
Cobb moving across the lobby towards Fischer.

ARTHUR
And there goes Mr. Charles.

ARIADNE
Who or what, exactly, is Mr.
Charles?
99.

ARTHUR
It’s a gambit designed to turn
Fischer against his own
subconscious.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb approaches the bar, watched closely by Fischer’s Sub-
security.

COBB
Mr. Fishcer! Good to see you again.
Rod Green, Marketing.
(to Blonde)
And you must be...

BLONDE
Leaving.

She presses against Fischer as she slides off her stool and
deposits a cocktail napkin in front of him.

BLONDE (CONT’D)
In case you get bored.

Cobb watches her walk away. The Sub-security FOLLOWS her.

COBB
I think you just got blown off...
unless her phone number really does
have only six digits.

Fischer glances at the napkin: “528-491.”

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Arthur watches the Sub-security follow the Blonde.

ARIADNE
And why don’t you approve?

ARTHUR
Because it involves telling the
mark that he’s dreaming. Which
involves attracting a lot of
attention to us.

ARIADNE
Didn’t Cobb say never to do that?

ARTHUR
You must’ve noticed by now how much
time Cobb spends doing things he
says never to do.
100.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb turns to Fischer.

COBB
Strange way to make friends.
(off look)
Lifting your wallet, I mean.

Fischer pats his pocket. Empty. He looks to the lobby where
he sees the Sub-security trailing the Blonde.

FISCHER
Goddamn it. The wallet alone’s
worth-

COBB
Five hundred bucks. I know. Don’t
worry, my guys are on it.

FISCHER
Who did you say you were?

Fischer looks at him, curious. Cobb plows on, confident-

COBB
I said I was Rod Green from
Marketing-but I’m not. My name is
Mr. Charles. I might seem familiar
to you. I’m in charge of your
security here.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

The Blonde hurries up to Saito, emerging from the elevator-

BLONDE
Mr. Saito, can I have a minute?

She pushes him back into the elevator, closing the door as
the Sub-security approaches...

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

The Blonde fondles Saito’s lapels, getting close.

SAITO
I’m sorry, but...

Saito glances over her shoulder to see, in the tunnel of
infinite reflections created by the elevator’s opposing
mirrors, three reflections in, THE BLONDE IS EAMES. He winks.

SAITO (CONT’D)
(pushing him away)
Very amusing, Mr. Eames.
101.

EAMES
You look a bit perkier.

A SHUDDER ripples through the elevator.

SAITO
Turbulence on the plane.

EAMES
Feels closer. That’s Yusuf’s
driving.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

Yusuf FIGHTS the wheel as the van CUTS DOWN AN ALLEY, BUMPING
OVER POTHOLES and SMASHING TRASH CANS aside- THREE S.U.V.s IN
FURIOUS PURSUIT. Yusuf looks in the rear view mirror,
FRUSTRATED. He checks his WATCH, then checks the back: the
SLEEPERS SHAKE with the impact and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - NIGHT

As a TREMOR echoes through the bar Fischer looks at Cobb
trying to place him.

FISCHER
Security? You work for the hotel?

COBB
No. My specialty is subconscious
security.

FISCHER
You’re talking about dreams. You’re
talking about extraction.

COBB
Exactly. My job is to protect
you...

Behind Fischer a WAITER puts down a tray- tipping a champagne
glass over- SMASH- Cobb NOTICES. Pauses, looks across the bar-
HIS TWO CHILDREN ARE CROUCHED, BACKS TOWARDS US...

Cobb looks around the bar, the patrons start to STARE at
Cobb, suspicious- Cobb shifts back to Fischer-
102.

COBB (CONT’D)
My job is to protect you from any
attempt to access your mind through
your dreams.

Cobb regains his patter- the patrons lose interest...
Genres: ["thriller","action"]

Summary Cobb tries to use a gambit to turn Fischer against his own subconscious while Arthur and Ariadne watch from a distance. Meanwhile, Cobb approaches Fischer at the bar and introduces himself as Mr. Charles, in charge of his security. Fischer becomes suspicious and mentions dreams and extraction. A tremor in the bar draws the attention of all patrons.
Strengths "The tension and suspense that keeps the scene moving. The dialogue between characters is well-written and interesting."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks action and visual spectacle that many viewers expect from a thriller or action movie."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively advances the plot. However, there are a few elements that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue between Arthur and Ariadne could use more clarity. When Arthur mentions Mr. Charles, it would be helpful to clarify who or what that is sooner, rather than waiting for Ariadne to ask for an explanation. This would make the conversation flow more smoothly.

Secondly, the Blonde's interaction with Fischer is a bit confusing. It's not immediately clear what her intentions are, and her sudden departure doesn't feel particularly impactful. Tightening up this exchange to make it more purposeful would improve the scene's pacing.

Lastly, the shift in the final moments of the scene from Cobb's conversation with Fischer to the Van's chase sequence is a bit jarring. While the cut itself is performed well, it feels like a lot of information is being thrown at the audience in a short amount of time. A smoother transition would help make the scene feel less disjointed.

Overall, though, the scene is well-constructed and conveys important information to the audience effectively.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively moves the story forward. Here are some suggestions on how to improve it:

- Streamline the dialogue between Arthur and Ariadne. The exchange feels a bit forced and doesn't add much to the scene. Consider cutting it down or rephrasing it to make it more natural.

- Clarify the purpose of Mr. Charles earlier on in the scene. It takes a while for Arthur to explain what Mr. Charles is, and it may be helpful to introduce the concept earlier so the audience can follow along more easily.

- Show more of Fischer's reaction to the theft of his wallet. This is a key moment in the scene, but it's somewhat glossed over. Adding some more emotion to Fischer's response could heighten the tension and stakes.

- Consider breaking up the action into smaller sections or paragraphs to make it easier to follow along. There are a lot of different things happening in this scene, and breaking it up into smaller chunks could make it more digestible for the reader.

- Add more sensory detail to the scene. What does it smell like? What sounds can be heard? Adding in some more sensory detail can help bring the setting to life and make the scene more immersive.



Scene 37 -  Protecting Fischer
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Eames pulls out Fischer’s wallet, moves to hand it to Saito,
then PAUSES, opens it, leafs past the cast to find... The
SNAPSHOT: young Robert holding his HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, his
father blowing on it. The elevator doors open and Eames steps
off. HANDS Saito the wallet.

EAMES
Get off at a different floor and
keep moving. Dump the wallet, then
meet me in the lobby. The security
will try to track it down. We need
to buy Cobb a little more time.

The doors close. Saito puts the wallet in his pocket. He
COUGHS- a deep, nasty cough.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks over Fischer’s shoulder to see a SUITED MAN
watching him. Another MAN is walking in from the lobby.

COBB
You’re not safe here.

Cobb steps away from the bar. Fischer does not move.

COBB (CONT’D)
Trust me. They’re coming for you.

Fischer sizes him up, A CLAP OF THUNDER ECHOES, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

GUNSHOTS BLAST out the rear and side windows of the van- a
Security Man is leaning out of the lead S.U.V. With a SHOTGUN-

WIND AND RAIN RIP THROUGH THE VAN- in the back, ARTHUR’S
SLEEPING FACE IS WHIPPED BY THE SPRAY, AND WE-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - SUNSET

Fischer looks out the windows at sudden, HURRICANE-LIKE RAIN-
103.

COBB
Strange weather, huh?

A TREMOR runs through the bar- Cobb looks around-

COBB (CONT’D)
You feel that?

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne and Arthur watch the GUSTS OF WIND RATTLE the
windows. Arthur sees HOTEL GUESTS staring out at the weather,
PUZZLED. Several of them TURN TO LOOK DIRECTLY AT ARTHUR.

ARIADNE
What’s happening?

ARTHUR
Cobb’s drawing Fischer’s attention
to the strangeness of the dream.
That’s making his subconscious look
for the dreamer. For me.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - DAY

At the end of the alley- Yusuf THROWS the van into a HARD
RIGHT TURN- we move into EXTREME SLOW MOTION... THE SLEEPERS
IN THE BACK ARE DRAWN TO ONE SIDE OF THE VAN BY THE
CENTRIFUGAL FORCE... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

The liquid in Fischer’s drink RISES UP AGAINST ONE SIDE OF
THE GLASS- Fischer notices, confused.

COBB
Very odd-the weather, the
gravity...
Fischer looks around the bar- it’s as if THE ENTIRE ROOM IS
SET AT A 45-DEGREE ANGLE- glasses SLIDING off tables...

COBB (CONT’D)
But I can explain all this. You’ve
actually been trained for this.
(Fischer nods)
Think of the strangeness of the
weather, the shifts in gravity.
None of this is real...
(MORE)
104.
COBB (CONT’D)
(beat)
We’re in a dream.

Fischer looks at the room around them. Back to Cobb. All
through the bar, patrons turn to look at Cobb IN UNISON.

COBB (CONT’D)
The simplest test of what I’m
saying is for you to try and
remember anything about the way you
arrived in this hotel... okay?

Fischer stares at Cobb, trying to process this. All around
them, people STARE at Cobb. Several get up as if to approach.

COBB (CONT’D)
Breathe. Remember the training.
Accept the fact that we’re in a
dream. That’s why I’m here
protecting you.

As Fischer considers this we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - DAY

Yusuf STRAIGHTENS UP the van, RACING down the street,
swerving through traffic and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - EVENING

The building gradually EASES BACK INTO ALIGNMENT-

FISCHER
So you... you’re not real?

The bar patrons start to ignore Cobb again.

COBB
No. I’m a projection of your
subconscious. I was put in place to
protect you in the event that
extractors pulled you into a dream.
I believe that’s what has happened.

Fischer takes this in. Then looks at the Security Men
approaching across the crooked floor, he nods at Cobb-
105.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - EVENING

Cobb escorts Fischer across the lobby. As he does so, he
walks past the two CHILDREN, backs to us- Cobb ignores them-
The two Sub-security fall in behind. Cobb hurries Fischer up
the stairs- then PUSHES him into-
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Eames pulls out Fischer’s wallet and finds a snapshot of a young Robert. He hands the wallet to Saito, instructs him to get off on a different floor, dump the wallet, and meet him in the lobby. Meanwhile, Cobb warns Fischer of impending danger and draws his attention to the strangeness of the dream. In the real world, the team faces gunfire and turbulent weather conditions. Yusuf races the van through traffic in slow motion. Fischer comes to terms with the fact that Cobb is a projection of his subconscious. They proceed towards the stairs.
Strengths "The tension and suspense build up as the team tries to keep Fischer safe. The use of slow motion for dramatic effect stands out."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could have been better and some scenes could have been more visually appealing."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and moves the plot forward nicely. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

First, the transition between the elevator and the hotel lobby bar could be smoother. It's a bit jarring to suddenly cut to a new location without any indication of how much time has passed or how the characters got there.

Second, there could be more clarity around the cause and effect of the odd weather. It's not immediately clear why Cobb is drawing Fischer's attention to it, or how it's related to their plan to buy more time. Adding more explanation or context would help the audience better understand what's happening.

Finally, the dialogue between Cobb and Fischer could use some tightening. There's a lot of exposition delivered in a short amount of time, and it feels a bit rushed and clunky in places. Streamlining the conversation and breaking up the information into smaller chunks would make it easier to follow and more engaging for the audience.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions I have for improving this scene:

1. Clarify the action: In the first part of the scene, it's not entirely clear what Eames is doing with Fischer's wallet. It might help to have him speak aloud his thought process as he leafs through the wallet to find the snapshot. This will also give us a better sense of what's at stake with the wallet and why the security trying to track it down is a problem.

2. Cut down on the cuts: The scene jumps around a lot with multiple cuts to different locations. While this can be effective in certain circumstances, it feels a bit jarring here. Consider consolidating some of these cuts or finding another way to convey the same information.

3. Add more tension: This is a high-stakes scene, but it doesn't feel particularly tense. Try adding more urgency to the dialogue and action to keep the audience engaged. For example, have the security men closing in on Cobb and Fischer more quickly or have something else happen that raises the stakes.

4. Make the dream world more distinct: One of the main plot points of this scene is that the dream world is becoming increasingly unstable, but it's not really clear what that means. Consider using visual effects or sound design to make it more apparent that the world is shifting and bending in strange ways.

5. Develop the character interactions: This scene mostly focuses on the action and exposition, but there's an opportunity to delve deeper into the relationships between the characters. Try to give them more distinctive voices and motivations so that we care more about what happens to them.



Scene 38 -  Hotel Escape and Explosive Plan
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HOTEL LOBBY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer stumbles in- turns to Cobb, angry-

FISCHER
Hey-

Cobb reaches into his jacket- the First Man BURSTS in- Cobb
KICKS him to the ground- DRAWS his gun as the SECOND MAN
comes through the door, moving towards Fischer-

BLAM! Cobb BLASTS the Second Man in the back- TURNS and
SHOOTS the First Man.

FISCHER (CONT’D)
Jesus Christ! What are you doing?!

Cobb turns to Fischer, calm. Convincing.

COBB
Look at the gun in his hand.

Fischer looks: the Second Man was holding a pistol. Cobb
opens the First Man’s jacket to show Fischer his holster and
sidearm.

COBB (CONT’D)
These men were sent to abduct you.

Cobb pulls out the gun and HANDS it to Fischer.

COBB (CONT’D)
If I’m going to help you, I need
you to be calm.

Fischer remembers something.

FISCHER
If this is a dream, I have to kill
myself and wake up-

Fischer raises the gun towards his head-

COBB
I wouldn’t do that-they’ve probably
got you sedated. If you pull that
trigger, you might not wake up, you
might drop into a lower dream
state.
(MORE)
106.
COBB (CONT'D)
Mr. Fischer, you know all this, you
just have to remember it...

Fischer lowers his gun.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Saito walks down the corridor, followed by a Security Man.
Saito DUCKS around the corner, moves to a GARBAGE CHUTE and
DROPS Fischer’s WALLET into it. He SLIPS into the stairwell
as the Security Man comes abreast of the chute and pauses.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur leads Ariadne to a particular room: 491.

INT. ROOM 491 - CONTINUOUS

Arthur leads Ariadne in. He opens the closet, opens the room
safe, pulls our FOUR BRICKS OF PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.

ARTHUR
So, if everything’s correct, this
room should be directly below 528.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks reassuringly at Fischer.

COBB
What do you remember from before
this dream?

FISCHER
(thinking)
Rain... gunfire... Uncle Peter.
(looks up)
Christ-we’ve been kidnapped.

COBB
Where were they holding you?

FISCHER
They had us... in the back of a
van...

COBB
Your body’s bouncing around in the
back of a van right now-that
explains the gravity shifts.

FISCHER
It was... to do with a safe...
Christ, why’s it so hard to
remember?
107.

COBB
It’s like trying to remember a
dream after you’ve woken up. It
takes years of practice to do it
easily. So, you and Browning have
been pulled into this dream so they
can steal something from your mind.
What?

FISCHER
They wanted a combination to a
safe... they demanded the first
numbers to pop into my head.

COBB
That’s them extracting a locator.

FISCHER
A locator?

COBB
A number from your own
subconscious. It can be used any
number of ways...
(thinking)
This is a hotel. Room numbers. What
was the number you gave them?

FISCHER
5, 2... something... it was a long
number. 528... 528, 4 something.

COBB
(opens phone)
Well, we know where to start.
(into phone)
Fifth floor.

INT. ROOM 491 - CONTINUOUS

Arthur hangs up the phone. He is standing on a chair,
attaching the explosives to the ceiling.

ARIADNE
Do you use a timer?

ARTHUR
No, I have to judge it myself. Once
you’re all asleep up in room 528, I
wait ‘til Yusuf starts his kick...

ARIADNE
How will you know?
108.

ARTHUR
His music warns me it’s coming,
then the van hitting the barrier of
the bridge should be unmistakable-
that’s when I blow the floor out
from underneath us and we get a
nice synchronized kick. Too soon,
and we won’t get pulled out; too
late and I won’t be able to drop
us.

ARIADNE
Why not?

ARTHUR
The van will be in free fall. I
can’t drop us with no gravity.

Arthur finishes setting the charges.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary Cobb saves Fischer from kidnapping and reveals they are in a dream. They are interrupted by Saito and a security man as Saito drops Fischer's wallet into a garbage chute. Arthur leads Ariadne to a room where he sets explosives on the ceiling to carry out their plan.
Strengths
  • Fast-paced action with a tense escape sequence
  • Intense dialogue and character interactions
  • Intriguing concept around alterting the subconscious
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth or development
  • Some plot points may be confusing for first-time viewers
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue. However, some aspects could be improved upon.

One issue is the lack of description. While it's not necessary to describe every detail, it would be helpful to give more context for readers who haven't seen the movie. For example, where are they in the hotel? What do the characters look like? What kind of bathroom is it? Adding a bit more description would enhance the visual experience for the reader.

Additionally, the scene has quite a bit of exposition through dialogue which could be addressed more creatively. Finding ways to show rather than tell the information could be more engaging to the audience. For example, rather than Cobb simply telling Fischer what is happening, perhaps show Fischer piecing together clues from his surroundings and his conversation with Cobb.

Finally, some of the dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose, with characters stating their intentions or summarizing the situation too clearly. Finding ways to blend exposition with character and plot development could make the scene more engaging and immersive for the reader.

Overall, this scene is well-written and intense, but could benefit from more description and subtlety in its exposition.
Suggestions 1. Show more detail: In this scene, there are many rapid actions and events that are not fully explained or shown. This can make it hard for the audience to follow and understand what is happening. Try to add more detail to each action and event, describing what is happening and why.

2. Build suspense: This scene has a lot of potential for suspense and tension, as the characters are in a dangerous situation where they are being chased and attacked. Try to build tension by showing the characters' fear and worry, and making the audience feel that anything could happen at any moment.

3. Give the characters more depth: In this scene, the characters mostly just react to events that are happening around them, without much development or depth. Consider fleshing out the characters more, showing their motivations, fears, and desires, and making the audience care about them.

4. Streamline the action: While it is important to show enough detail in the action to make it clear, it is also important to keep things moving quickly and efficiently. Consider cutting any unnecessary or redundant actions, and focusing on the most important and exciting moments.

5. Show more variety in the locations and settings: This scene mostly takes place in a hotel bathroom and corridor, which can make it feel repetitive and dull. Consider adding more interesting and varied locations and settings to the scene, to keep the audience engaged and entertained.



Scene 39 -  Mistaking Browning for Eames
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Saito moves through the lobby. Browning is coming in the
other direction. Saito assumes him to be Eames.

SAITO
I see you’ve changed.

BROWNING
I’m sorry?

Eames comes up behind Browning, catching Saito’s eye.

SAITO
I’m... I mistook you for a friend.

BROWNING
Good-looking fellow, I’m sure.

Browning moves off. Saito approaches Eames.

EAMES
That’s Fischer’s projection of
Browning. We’ll keep an eye on how
he behaves-

SAITO
Why?

EAMES
How he acts will tell us if
Fischer’s starting to suspect his
motives the way we want him to.
109.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR, FIFTH FLOOR - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb leads Fischer around a corner. Arthur and Ariadne are
waiting in the corridor.

COBB
They work for me.

Fischer starts looking at room numbers. Stops at 528. Cobb
draws his gun, steps back from the door and KICKS it open.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Saito mistakes Browning for Eames before Eames corrects him. Eames explains that they need to keep an eye on Fischer's projection of Browning to see if Fischer suspects anything. Cobb leads Fischer to room 528 and kicks open the door.
Strengths "The action in the scene is intense and keeps the audience engaged. The dialogue is engaging and moves the plot forward."
Weaknesses "The emotional impact of the scene is lacking, as it is purely plot-driven. Additionally, there is not much character development."
Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of advancing the plot and building tension, but there are a few areas that could use improvement:

- The dialogue is a bit on-the-nose at times, particularly when Eames explains his plan to Saito. A more subtle approach would make the scene feel more natural.
- There is no description of the characters or their actions beyond their dialogue, which makes it difficult to visualize what is happening. Adding more details to the action lines would help clarify the scene.
- The sudden use of a gun at the end of the scene feels jarring and out of place. It's not clear why Cobb needs to resort to violence, or why he didn't tell Fischer about the plan instead. This could benefit from more explanation.
Suggestions 1. Clarify the purpose of the scene: It's not immediately clear why Saito mistaking Browning for Eames and then discovering that Browning is actually Fischer's projection is important for the story. The dialogue feels disconnected from the larger plot. Adding a clearer reason for the scene to exist would make it feel more integral to the story.

2. Develop the characters: The dialogue between Saito and Browning is unremarkable and doesn't reveal anything about their characters. Adding some depth to their personalities could make the scene more interesting and engaging. For example, maybe Saito could make a comment about Browning's appearance that alludes to his character flaws or insecurities.

3. Add more tension: The scene doesn't have a lot of dramatic tension, which makes it feel flat. Adding some tension, perhaps through a physical altercation or a threat of violence, could make the scene more exciting and engaging to watch.

4. Tighten the pacing: The scene is a bit too slow and drawn out. Tightening up the dialogue and removing any unnecessary exposition could make the scene feel more dynamic and fast-paced.

5. Consider the tone: The scene feels a bit too casual and lighthearted given the high stakes of the larger plot. Adjusting the tone to be more serious and urgent could make the scene feel more impactful.



Scene 40 -  Breaking into Fischer's Subconscious
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. ROOM 528 - CONTINUOUS

Cobb JUMPS into the room, gun up. The room is empty. Arthur
and Ariadne search the room. Saito and Eames arrive. Eames
shuts the door. Arthur FINDS something-

ARTHUR
Mr. Charles!

Arthur holds up a MECHANISM CASE. Cobb shows it to Fischer.

COBB
You know what this is?

Fischer’s eyes roam over the dials and plungers.

FISCHER
I think so. But I don’t understand.

COBB
They were going to put you under.

FISCHER
I’m already under.

COBB
Under again.

FISCHER
A dream within a dream?

ARTHUR
Shhhh!

Arthur is at the door. Someone is there. A key goes into the
lock- the door starts to open- Arthur REACHES OVER and GRABS
the person entering, THROWS THEM TO THE FLOOR- puts his gun
in their face. IT IS BROWNING.

Fischer stares, disbelieving, at his own godfather.

FISCHER
Uncle Peter. What’s going on?

Cobb pulls the key from Browning’s hand: ROOM 528.
110.

COBB
You said you were kidnapped
together?

FISCHER
Not exactly, they already had him.
They’d been torturing him...

COBB
You saw them torture him?

Fischer shakes his head. Looks at Browning. Thinking.

FISCHER
The kidnappers are working for you.

BROWNING
No, Robert-

FISCHER
You’re trying to get that safe
open. To get the alternate will.

Browning looks up at Fischer.

BROWNING
Fischer Morrow’s been my entire
life. I can’t let you destroy it.

FISCHER
I’m not going to throw away my
inheritance. Why would I?

BROWNING
I couldn’t take the chance of you
rising to your father’s final
taunt.

FISCHER
What taunt?

BROWNING
That will. I’m sorry, Robert, but
it’s his final insult. A challenge
to build something for yourself.
He’s telling you that you aren’t
worthy of his achievements.

Fischer takes this in. Devastated.

FISCHER
That he was “disappointed?”
111.

BROWNING
I’m so sorry. But he was wrong.
You’ll make his company even
greater than he ever could.

COBB
Your godfather’s lying, Robert.

Fischer turns to Cobb.

FISCHER
How do you know?

COBB
It’s what I do. He’s hiding
something.

Cobb looks at Browning.

COBB
Let’s find out what.

Cobb nods at Arthur, who starts unpacking the mechanism.
Browning watches. Silent.

COBB
Let’s do to him what he was going
to do to you.

Cobb rolls up his sleeve. Nods at Fischer to do the same.

COBB
We’ll penetrate his subconscious
and find out what he doesn’t want
you to know.

Fischer looks Cobb in the eye. Decides- rolls up his sleeve,
offering his bare arm. The team run tubes to each other-
Arthur injects Fischer, whose head slumps.

ARTHUR
He’s out.

ARIADNE
Wait, Cobb-I’m lost. Whose
subconscious are we going into?

COBB
Fischer’s. I told him it was
Browning’s so he’d come with us as
part of our team.

ARTHUR
(impressed)
He’s going to help us break into
his own subconscious.
112.

COBB
That’s the idea. He’ll think that
his security is Browning’s and
fight them to learn the truth about
his father.

Arthur hits buttons on the mechanism. The team goes out one
by one. Cobb is last.

COBB
Fischer’s subconscious is going to
run you down hard.

ARTHUR
I’ll lead them on a merry chase.

COBB
Be back in time for the kick.

ARTHUR
I’m on it.

Cobb is no longer listening- he stares at the net curtains,
BILLOWING like those in Mal’s suite- a GLIMPSE of someone
(Mal?) As the screen goes WHITE, and we are-
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb and his team confront Fischer's godfather, Browning, who is hiding something from him. They decide to break into Browning's subconscious to find out the truth, but Cobb reveals that they are actually going into Fischer's subconscious. As the team prepares to enter his mind, Cobb sees a glimpse of someone that may be Mal.
Strengths "The tension between Fischer, Browning, and Cobb adds depth to the plot. The idea of breaking into someone's subconscious is intriguing and adds an essence of science fiction to the thriller."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could have been stronger, and the scene is relatively brief with limited character development."
Critique The scene starts off with a good sense of tension and urgency as Cobb enters the room with his gun raised, but there isn't much action to follow. The dialogue between the characters is meant to provide exposition and set up the plot, but it feels a bit contrived and forced.

There's also a lack of description in the scene, leaving it feeling flat and visually dull. Adding more detail could help bring the characters and their surroundings to life.

Furthermore, there are a few technical issues with the formatting and punctuation in the scene. For example, some of the character names should be capitalized, and there aren't any proper scene headings to indicate where the scene takes place.

Overall, the scene is serviceable in terms of moving the plot forward, but it could benefit from more action and description, as well as some tidying up in terms of formatting.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Make the action more dynamic and visually interesting. Right now, the scene is mostly characters standing around and talking. Consider adding more movement, suspense, and action to keep the audience engaged.

2. Clarify the stakes and goals of the scene. What do the characters want and what will happen if they don't get it? Right now, it's not entirely clear why they are searching the room and what they hope to find.

3. Develop the characters and their relationships more fully. So far, we don't know much about the characters beyond their roles in the story. Try to give them more personality, backstory, and emotional depth to make them more compelling.

4. Tighten up the dialogue. Some of the lines feel clunky or repetitive. Consider cutting out unnecessary dialogue and rewriting lines to make them more natural and concise.

5. Build towards a strong climax or cliffhanger. The scene ends abruptly with Cobb staring at some curtains, which is not very compelling. Consider adding a twist, reveal, or intense moment to leave the audience on the edge of their seats.



Scene 41 -  Mission Briefing
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

CLOSE ON Cobb’s face, staring. Fixed.

ARIADNE (O.S.)
Cobb? Cobb?

Ariadne is beside him. They stand on a cliff, dressed in
white snowsuits, carrying white-painted weapons like WWII
commandos. Cobb checks his SNIPER RIFLE, examines their
objective: a massive FORTIFIED MEDICAL FACILITY a mile below.

ARIADNE
What’s down there?

COBB
Hopefully, the truth we want
Fischer to learn.

ARIADNE
I meant what’s down there for you?

Cobb turns to her. Eames, Saito and Fischer arrive, SKIING
down from the hill above. Cobb pulls Eames out of Fischer’s
earshot.

COBB
You’re the dreamer. I need you to
draw the security away from the
complex.
113.

EAMES
Then who guides Fischer in? You?

COBB
If I know the route... we could be
compromised.

Eames looks as Cobb, uneasy. Ariadne comes over.

ARIADNE
I designed the place.

COBB
No. You’re with me.

SAITO (O.S.)
I could do it.

They turn to Saito. Saito shrugs at Eames. Eames smiles.

COBB
Eames, brief Saito on the route
into the complex. What we’re
looking for is going to be in the
most heavily fortified section.
That north tower.

Cobb moves to Fischer. Saito COUGHS. SPITS. Eames sees BLOOD
on the snow. Looks at Saito.

COBB
Mr. Fischer, you’re going in with
Mr. Saito.

FISCHER
You’re not coming in?

COBB
You have to do this on your own.
You have to get in there, break
into your godfather’s mind and find
out the truth about your father.

Cobb taps Fischer’s radio mike.

COBB
Keep this live at all times. I’ll
be listening in, covering you.
(holds up the sniper
rifle)
The windows on the upper floors are
big enough that I can cover you
from that south tower.
114.

Cobb slips into his skis, shoulders his rifle.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

Arthur checks the mechanism. He hears LOW BOOMS like thunder.
He checks his watch- THE SECOND HAND CRAWLS FORWARDS. With a
last look at the sleepers, he heads out into the corridor...

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

A GUNSHOT slams into the van as Yusuf DRIVES- he glances back
to see a MOTORCYCLE pulling up behind him, the REAR PASSENGER
FIRING A SHOTGUN- the bike pulls alongside Yusuf’s window as
the passenger RELOADS- Yusuf YANKS the wheel TOWARDS the
bike, bringing the shotgun barrel into the cab so he can GRAB
it, spin the wheel back- PULLING the passenger from the back
of the bike... Yusuf turns a corner, heading into a disused
MARKET-

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur walks towards the elevator. It OPENS- a SECURITY MAN
emerges, heading right for him. Arthur takes a TURN, speeding
up. The BOOMS are louder, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

The bike crosses behind the van, catching up again as the
driver pulls a handgun and starts BLASTING. Up ahead, an
S.U.V. sits in a side road, lining up to head off the van-
the SECURITY MAN driving the S.U.V. guns it, as the bike
creeps up on the other side of the van- Yusuf HITS THE
BRAKES, forcing the bike out into the path of the S.U.V.,
tossing the rider like a rag doll-

Heading out of the market, the van races onto a FREEWAY ON
RAMP, approaching the BRIDGE. An S.U.V. SMASHES into the
van’s side, FORCING it up against a CRASH BARRIER... the van
starts to SLOWLY TILT OVER THE BARRIER as the S.U.V. PUSHES-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

As Arthur hurries down the corridor, the corridor starts to
TILT, and Arthur is forced to run UP ONTO THE WALL- he rounds
a corner- STRAIGHT INTO another Security Man- Arthur HEAD
BUTTS him and they STRUGGLE- as they struggle, the corridor
SPINS around, THROWING THEM UP ONTO THE WALLS, THE CEILING-
as wall becomes floor they DROP through a door into-
115.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The fight continues all over the spinning room- and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY OFF RAMP NEAR BRIDGE - DAY

SLEEPING ARTHUR BOUNCES around as the van TILTS, SCRAPING
along the barrier- the van CLEARS THE END OF THE BARRIER AND
ROLLS DOWN THE EMBANKMENT, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Arthur and the Security Man DROP to the floor, Arthur on top.
Arthur gets up- heads to the stairwell.

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS NEAR BRIDGE - DAY

The van SETTLES with a thump. Yusuf BREATHES hard. Then
SMILES as he realizes he is in one piece. A RINGING BELL up
ahead makes him look up to the bridge, where the barriers are
starting to come down. Yusuf checks his watch-

YUSUF
Bugger.

Yusuf hits the gas, heading for the bridge. An S.U.V. lines
up behind him, trying to catch up before the van crosses the
barrier onto the bridge-

The van JUST MAKES IT- the S.U.V. behind RIPS its read axle
off, SCRAPING to a halt on the rising section. The Security
Man inside starts FIRING on the van...

INT. HOTEL STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Arthur RACES down the steps- OPENS the door to the fourth
floor- spots SECURITY MEN outside room 491.

ARTHUR
Hey!

They TURN- he DARTS back into the stairwell- RACES down the
stairs- the Security Men follow- they start SHOOTING, and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Eames SKIS down within sight of the hospital complex. He
reaches into his pack and lets off a FLARE.
116.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary The team prepares to infiltrate a heavily fortified medical facility to find the truth about Fischer's father. Cobb assigns tasks to each team member and emphasizes the importance of staying focused.
Strengths "The scene creates a sense of urgency and tension as the team prepares for their mission. The dialogue is concise and sets up the objective clearly. The use of multiple locations and action sequences adds to the visual appeal."
Weaknesses "The emotional impact falls a bit short and the scene may rely too heavily on action to keep the audience engaged."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. The action is well-paced, and the dialogue is clear and concise. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the scene could benefit from more specific description. For example, when describing the fortified medical facility, the writer could have given more details about its appearance and layout, which would make it easier for the reader to visualize. Similarly, during the action sequences, the writer could have included more sensory details to create a more immersive experience for the reader.

Secondly, the characterizations of some of the characters could be fleshed out more. For example, we don't know much about Fischer or his relationship with Cobb, which makes it harder to feel emotionally invested in their mission. Additionally, while the dialogue between Cobb and Eames is clear and functional, it doesn't give us much insight into their personalities or motivations.

Overall, while the scene is engaging and well-paced, it could benefit from more specific description and more nuanced characterizations.
Suggestions 1. The scene jumps around in time and location too much. Consider breaking it up into multiple scenes or finding a way to connect the action more smoothly.
2. Make the objective of the mission clearer and more urgent, to add tension and raise the stakes for the characters.
3. Add more character development for Ariadne, Saito, and Fischer, as they currently feel like background characters compared to Cobb and Eames.
4. Consider adding more descriptive language to the action scenes to enhance visual imagery for the audience.
5. Make the dialogue between characters more dynamic and reflective of their relationships and personalities.



Scene 42 -  Race Against Time
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Security Men on the ramparts spot the flare and send PATROLS
out on skis and SNOWMOBILES to investigate.

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames watches them close in, then launches himself down the
mountain, STREAKING across the icy slope, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RISING BRIDGE - DAY

Yusuf PULLS FORWARD, looking over his shoulder to line up a
BACKWARDS RUN at the edge. He DUCKS as vicious FIRE from the
S.U.V. HAMMERS the vehicle. He looks at his watch. The SECOND
HAND TICKING SLOWLY...

YUSUF
Sod it. I hope your ready.

He grabs an MP3 player and reaches into the back to place
HEADPHONES on sleeping Arthur’s head. As he does so, he
notices Saito’s bandage BLEEDING THROUGH. Yusuf hits PLAY-
Edith Piaf’s “Non, je ne regrette rien” starts up and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL STAIRWELL - NIGHT

Arthur STOPS, hearing something- MASSIVE LOW-END MUSICAL
TONES- he looks up PANICKED-

ARTHUR
No, Yusuf. Too soon!

SHOTS slam into the stairs around him and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Cobb and Ariadne make their way down towards the complex.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Are you hearing that?

Cobb listens. The wind sounds unusually LOW.

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is hidden at the base of some trees, whispering as a
patrol passes beneath his position.
117.

EAMES
I noticed it twenty minutes ago-at
first I thought it was just wind...

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb is listening intently. The “wind” changes pitch.

COBB
No, it’s music. Dammit.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
What do we do?

COBB
We move fast. Saito, did you copy?

EXT. MOUNTAINS, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer CLIMB down a CLIFF FACE above the complex-

SAITO
We’re going as fast as we can.

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks at Cobb, concerned.

ARIADNE
How long do we have?

COBB
Yusuf’s about ten seconds from the
jump, which gives Arthur about
three minutes, which gives us about-

ARIADNE
Sixty minutes.

COBB
The route you gave them, can they
do it in under an hour?

ARIADNE
I don’t think so. They’ve still got
to climb down to the middle
terrace.

COBB
They need a new route-a direct
route.

ARIADNE
The building’s designed as a
labyrinth.
118.

COBB
There must be access routes that
cut through the maze.
(into radio)
Eames?

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames cannot answer- he SLALOMS through the forest, Sub-
security in hot pursuit, bullets smashing into the trunks...

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb turns to Ariadne.

COBB
Did Eames add any features?

ARIADNE
Yes.

COBB
What did he add?

Ariadne looks at Cobb.

ARIADNE
I shouldn’t tell you. If Mal-

COBB
There’s no time-what did he add?

ARIADNE
Utility closets, trap doors...

COBB
What about service features? Did he
add any large pipes or-

ARIADNE
Ducts. He added an air duct system-
it doesn’t follow the maze. They
can use it to go straight from the
outer walls to the upper tower.

COBB
Explain it to them.

ARIADNE
(into radio)
Saito?

EXT. CLIFF FACE BEHIND COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito is using a hammer to tap in a belay.
119.

SAITO
Go ahead.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RAISED BRIDGE - DAY

Yusuf looks at the Security Man in the S.U.V., gives him the
finger and hits the GAS- RACING BACKWARDS at the barrier...
and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL STAIRWAY - NIGHT

Arthur RUNS UP the stairs, gun in hand- rounds a corner and-
IMPOSSIBLY- arrives behind the Security Man, who looks at
him, CONFUSED, then looks down to realize he is now at the
edge of a dangerous drop- Arthur shrugs.

ARTHUR
Paradox.

Arthur PUSHES him over the edge- he falls- Arthur races up to
the fourth floor- throws open the door- and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary The team races against time to complete their mission as they navigate through different obstacles to reach their target location while being chased by security men.
Strengths "The scene is filled with fast-paced action and suspense, keeping the audience engaged throughout. The addition of the music track heightens the tension and adds to the urgency of the situation."
Weaknesses "The dialogue in this scene is not particularly strong and feels a bit forced in places. The emotional impact of the scene is also lessened due to the focus on action."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, it is not always within the realm of capabilities to evaluate a scene's artistic quality. However, I can provide some objective insights that may or may not be useful. The scene seems to be very visually dynamic and action-packed, conveying a sense of urgency and danger. The use of different locations and cuts between them intensifies the pace and adds suspense to the story. The dialogue is brief and focused on the mission's progress, promoting the viewer's immersion. The scene also introduces some new information about the environment and the characters, adding depth to the plot. Overall, the scene appears to be well-crafted and engaging.
Suggestions There are a few things that could help improve this scene:

1. Clarify the location: While the scene jumps around to different locations, it's not always clear where characters are in relation to each other. Adding clear descriptions of the surroundings and the characters' actions could help establish their position and make the scene easier to follow.

2. Develop the tension: While there are some intense moments in this scene, the stakes could be raised even higher. Adding in more specific details about what's at risk and the consequences of failure could make the audience more invested in the action.

3. Streamline the dialogue: The dialogue in this scene is mostly functional, but it could be tightened up to make it more impactful. Removing unnecessary words or phrases and focusing on the key information being conveyed could make the dialogue more engaging.

4. Use visuals to enhance the action: In a script, visuals are just as important as dialogue. Using descriptive language to paint a picture of the action and setting could make the scene more vivid and engaging for the reader.



Scene 43 -  The Kick
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RAISED BRIDGE - DAY

In SLOW MOTION- the van SMASHES THROUGH THE CONCRETE BARRIER-
and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur is SPRINTING down the corridor when a TREMENDOUS CRASH
sends him FLYING into the air- and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

A MASSIVE RUMBLE prompts Cobb to look across the valley-

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames shoots out of the trees, then FALLS to the snow as he
sees a great CRACKING up ahead- the SLOPE IS FALLING AWAY IN
AN AVALANCHE-
120.

EXT. CLIFF FACE BEHIND COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito hears the RUMBLE above them. He looks down, Fischer is
below, near the bottom of the sheer face-

SAITO
Look out!

Saito CUTS the rope- they FALL- HIT the icy face and SLIDE
down the slope, clearing the path of the avalanche- and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van emerges from the concrete
balustrade and starts FALLING- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur is still FLYING through the corridor, NOT LANDING-
GRAVITY HAS DISAPPEARED... he scrambles for a handhold,
GRABBING a sconce- and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Cobb watches the avalanche cloud slide past the complex.

ARIADNE
What was that?

COBB
The kick.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Did we miss it?
COBB
Yeah, we missed it.

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is lying on the snow.

EAMES
What the hell do we do now?

COBB (OVER RADIO)
Finish the job before the next
kick.
121.

EAMES
What next kick?

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks at Ariadne as he talks into the radio.

COBB
When the van hits the water. I
figure Arthur’s got a couple
minutes and we’ve got about twenty.

Cobb and Ariadne MOVE towards the base of the complex.

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer RUN around the base of the building. They
find a large EXHAUST PORT. Lay a charge on the GRILL. They
blow the charge. Climb into the open vent.

INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van seems SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR
TEN STORIES ABOVE THE RIVER... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

In ZERO GRAVITY, Arthur pulls himself to the door of 491,
opens it. He looks at the charges planted on the ceiling.

ARTHUR
How the hell do I drop you?

He PULLS the charges from the ceiling. Hurrying. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer hurry through the duct system. Saito is
falling behind, coughing up blood.

EXT. UPPER TERRACE, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb GRABS a Security Guard from behind, strangling him
unconscious. He beckons to Ariadne, covering her as she runs
towards him. They enter the base of the south tower.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

A guard is manning the tower. Cobb and Ariadne enter- Cobb
SHOOTS the guard and moves to the window.
122.

ARIADNE
(she points)
That’s the antechamber outside the
strongroom.

Cobb looks at the large windows of the antechamber.

COBB
What about the strongroom? Doesn’t
it have any windows?

ARIADNE
Wouldn’t be very strong if it did.
(off look)
Look, if you wanted to design it
yourself-

COBB
It’s fine. Better hope that we like
what Fischer finds in there.

Cobb sets up his sniper rifle. Through the scope he can see
three guards on the balcony outside the chamber. Three more
inside. Cobb casually picks them off with his rifle. Ariadne
watches through binoculars, appalled.

ARIADNE
These projections, they’re part of
his subconscious?

COBB
Yeah.

ARIADNE
Are you destroying those parts of
his mind?

COBB
No, of course not. They’re just
projections.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Something’s wrong?

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is watching the patrols HEAD BACK towards the complex.

EAMES
They’re heading your way. Like they
know something.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb hears this. Concerned.
123.

COBB
Buy us some time.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
On my way.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary The team experiences multiple kicks as they attempt to complete the mission. Arthur is thrown through the air, a massive avalanche almost takes out the team, and the van is left suspended in mid-air. Cobb and the team must race against the clock to complete the job before the next kick.
Strengths "The scene showcases the high-stakes and non-stop action the film is known for. The use of different locations and characters adds layers to the plot."
Weaknesses "The scene's continuous jumps between locations may be confusing for some viewers. The lack of emotional impact and character development may be a bit of a letdown."
Critique The scene is an example of cross-cutting, where different actions happening in different locations are shown in succession. It is an effective technique to build tension and overlapping events in a story. The use of slow-motion helps to accentuate the action and the danger that the characters face. The scene is fast-paced and action-packed, which is perfect for a movie. However, the scene lacks specificity in some of the actions. For example, when Arthur is flying through the corridor, it is unclear what causes the tremendous crash that sends him flying. There is also a lack of explanation for some of the actions, such as the kick and the charges planted on the ceiling. Providing more context and details can help the audience understand the significance of the action. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more character development and emotional stakes. Overall, the scene is entertaining and exciting, but there is room for improvement in providing more clarity and depth.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more details and sensory information to the scene. For example, instead of just saying "a massive rumble," describe the sound and feeling of the rumble in more detail. Also, consider adding some character development or conflict in the scene, such as Arthur struggling to drop the charges or Cobb feeling conflicted about destroying Fischer's subconscious. Additionally, the transitions between the different locations could be smoother and more seamless.



Scene 44 -  The Trap
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames TAKES OFF towards the base of the complex. And we=

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

Arthur FLOATS into the room. The SLEEPERS are floating,
loosely connected by their tubes. Arthur looks at them, MIND
RACING. He PULLS Cobb towards Eames, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - DAY

Saito and Fischer approach the grate covering the exit to the
anteroom. Saito SLUMPS to the floor of the duct, pulls out
his radio. Fischer looks at him- he is PALE, SHIVERING.
Fischer takes the radio, WHISPERS into it.

FISCHER
(into radio)
We’re here. Are we clear to
proceed?

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEC - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SCANS the anteroom through the scope-it looks clear.

COBB
You’re clear, but hurry-there’s an
army headed your way...

Ariadne watches the patrols approaching the complex...

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

The SQUELCH from the radio is too loud- Fischer GRABS it and
turns the volume to zero as he starts to remove the grate...

EXT. BASE OF THE HOPISTAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Eames is setting MINES along the LOWEST WALL of the
structure. He moves carefully-there is a SHEER DROP below the
wall...
124.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SPOTS something through his scope. Something above the
main windows, glimpsed through the side of the skylight.

COBB
Shit. There’s someone else in
there.

Cobb prepares to fire. Ariadne GRABS the radio-

ARIADNE
Fischer, stop! It’s a trap!-

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Fischer does not see the flashing light on his radio as he
carefully lifts the grate. He motions for Saito to stay...

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb TENSES to fire.

COBB
Come on... a little lower... a
little-

COBB FREEZES- IT IS MAL IN HIS SIGHTS. Ariadne puts up her
binoculars. Spots Mal. Fischer is climbing out of the vent...

ARIADNE
Cobb, that’s not really her-

Cobb turns to her-

COBB
How can you know that?

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Fischer moves into the antechamber, cautious-

FISCHER
I’m in.

Fischer turns up the volume-

ARIADNE (OVER RADIO)
Fischer, look out!-

Mal DROPS gracefully to the floor behind him-

MAL
Hello.
125.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks at Ariadne-

ARIADNE
Cobb, she’s just a projection.
Fischer... he’s real.

Cobb thinks. Nods, TURNS back to the scope- too late- MAL
SHOOTS FISCHER- Cobb reflexively pulls the trigger- Mal GOES
DOWN- Cobb steps back from the scope, STUNNED.

ARIADNE
Eames? Get to the anteroom now!

They run for the door.

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito STARTS as he hears the shot. He starts edging forwards,
clutching his belly. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

The sleepers are floating in a rough stack, top-and-tailed.
Arthur pulls the bedding from the bed and uses the sheet to
bind the sleepers together. And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van CREEPS DOWNWARDS, still high
above the river... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur PUSHES the floating stack of sleepers to the elevator.
He hits the button- the doors open- he pushes them in- GRABS
the charges- climbs through the hatch in the ceiling and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - DAY

Eames steps over Saito, who looks up at him with DYING eyes-
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary The team faces a trap in the anteroom as they try to extract Fischer from his subconscious. Mal reappears, leading to a fatal shot fired by Cobb. The team must regroup and escape the complex before it's too late.
Strengths "Tense action, high stakes, strong character development."
Weaknesses "Lack of clear motivation for Mal's reappearance."
Critique There are a few concerns with this scene:

1. Lack of clear and concise action: The scene jumps around a lot and lacks clear transitions between each location and character's actions. This can be confusing for the audience and disrupts the flow of the scene.

2. Dialogue is lacking: There is very little dialogue in this scene, which makes it difficult to fully understand what is happening and the motivations of each character.

3. Lack of Characterization: There is a lack of characterization in this scene, which makes it hard for the audience to connect with the characters and understand their goals and emotions.

4. Tension is not fully realized: While there are moments of tension, such as when Cobb spots Mal through his scope, the tension is not fully realized and it ends up feeling anticlimactic.

5. Visual descriptions are missing: The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions that help the audience understand the setting and the characters' actions.

Overall, this scene could benefit from more concise action, clear dialogue, and better characterization. Adding more visual descriptions and ramping up the tension could also make the scene more engaging and compelling.
Suggestions There are a lot of different storylines happening in this scene, which can be confusing for viewers. One suggestion would be to streamline the action and focus on the most important elements. For example, the scene could open with Cobb spotting Mal through his scope, and the tension could build as he debates whether or not to fire. This could be the primary conflict of the scene, with the other storylines serving as secondary elements.

Additionally, some of the dialogue could be tightened up to make it more effective. The lines "Come on... a little lower... a little-" and "I'm in" don't add much to the scene or the characterization of the characters. Removing them could make the dialogue more impactful overall.

Finally, it's important to establish the setting and the physical geography of the scene more clearly. For example, when Eames is setting mines along the lowest wall of the structure, it's not clear what he's doing or why. Adding more detail to the descriptions of the environment could help readers/viewers picture the scene more vividly.



Scene 45 -  The Plan to Save Fischer
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. ANTECHAMBER, HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

Eames jumps out of the vent to find Cobb and Ariadne standing
over the bodies of Fischer and Mal.
126.

EAMES
What happened?

ARIADNE
Mal killed Fischer-

COBB
I wouldn’t shoot her.

Eames grabs a defibrillator from the wall and pulls Fischer’s
jacket open-

COBB
It won’t do any good-

Eames SHOCKS Fischer’s chest...

COBB
Even if you could revive his body,
his mind’s trapped down there. It’s
over.

Eames listens for a pulse. Looks up at Cobb.

EAMES
So that it, then? We failed.

COBB
I’m sorry.

EAMES
It’s you who doesn’t get back to
your family.

Eames looks down at Fischer. Then over to the double doors.

EAMES
I wanted to know what was going to
happen in there. I think we had
this one.

ARIADNE
There’s still a way: We follow
Fischer down-

They look at her.

EAMES
We’re almost out of time-

ARIADNE
Down there they’ll be enough time.
We’ll find him-soon as you hear
Arthur’s music start, you use the
defibrillator to revive him-we give
him his own early kick from below.
(MORE)
127.
ARIADNE (CONT'D)
Get him in there-
(points to doors)
Then, as the music ends you blow
the hospital and we all ride the
kick back up through the layers.

Eames looks at her, then to Cobb.

EAMES
Okay, Saito can hold them off while
I plant the rest of the charges.

COBB
Saito’s not going to last, Eames.

ARIADNE
We have to try!

EAMES
Go for it, but I’m taking the kick
whether you’re back or not...

Eames pulls the mechanism from his pack. Offers it to
Ariadne. Cobb watches. Silent. Ariadne pulls out the tubes-

ARIADNE
Can I trust you to do what’s
needed? Mal’s down there-

COBB
And I can find her. She’ll have
Fischer.

ARIADNE
How do you know?

COBB
She wants me to come after him. She
wants me back down there with her.

Cobb rolls up his sleeve. Ariadne rolls up her own sleeve.
Eames NODS. Cobb and Ariadne lie down. Eames hits the button-
WATER. BUBBLES. DROWNING. And we are-

EXT. COAST (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne lies in the SURF, STARING up at a CLOUDLESS SKY. A
tremendous BOOM prompts her to look around her- URBAN
BUILDINGS PILED right down to the water. The buildings are
DECAYING, falling into the ocean like a GLACIER calving. Cobb
WADES towards her through the shallow water. Ariadne looks up
at the crumbling city around them.

ARIADNE
This is your world?
128.

COBB
It was. And this is where she'll
be.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - DAY

Arthur floats on top of the elevator, planting small charges
on the EMERGENCY BRAKES and CABLE. He sets them, GRABS the
other explosives, then PUSHES AWAY, shooting up the shaft. As
he hits the DETONATOR, BLASTING the braking and safety
systems of the elevator, we move into SLOW MOTION, the
fireballs FLAMING OUT in graceful licks and we-

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames RACES around, full speed- getting the defibrillator
paddles- laying them by Fischer's body- he runs into the duct-
pulls Saito up to a seated position and hands him a handgun.

EAMES
Come on, Saito. I need you to cover
Fischer while I plant the charges.

Saito nods weakly, tries to hold the gun. Eames moves to the
window− pulls his machine gun off- checks its load. Ready. He
watches the security patrols climb up the outer walls...
Eames lays down a HAIL of covering fire- then heads outside-

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Eames races along the upper terrace dodging fire- BULLETS
SHATTER a window behind him and we move into SLOW MOTION, the
glass CASCADING GENTLY and we-

DISSOLVE TO:
Genres: ["action","sci-fi"]

Summary Eames, Cobb and Ariadne come up with a plan to save Fischer by following him down into Limbo, reviving him with a defibrillator and riding the kick back up through the layers. Arthur plants charges in the elevator shaft. Meanwhile, Eames and Saito fight off security patrols.
Strengths "The tension is high as the team tries to come up with a plan to save Fischer. The action scenes are exciting and well-written."
Weaknesses "The emotional impact of the scene is not as strong as in other parts of the movie. Some plot elements are confusing."
Critique The scene has a clear goal and conflict, and the stakes are high. The characters have a clear understanding of the situation and their roles in it. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved.

Firstly, there is a lot of exposition during the dialogue, which could be streamlined. The characters explain the plan multiple times, and it feels repetitive. The dialogue could be tightened to keep the momentum of the scene going.

Additionally, the action in the scene could be clearer. There are moments where it is difficult to visualize what is happening, such as the elevator explosion and Eames' race along the upper terrace. Clearer descriptions of the action and setting could help to clarify these moments.

Lastly, there could be more emotional depth to the scene. While the stakes are high, the characters do not show much emotional response to the death of Fischer and Mal. Adding some emotional moments could help to heighten the tension and stakes of the scene.

Overall, the scene has potential and could benefit from tightening the dialogue, clarifying the action, and adding emotional depth.
Suggestions There are several suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the action and setting: It's difficult to picture exactly what's happening in this scene. Adding more detail about the surroundings, like the layout of the antechamber and the hospital complex and where the bodies are located, would make it easier for the audience to follow.

2. Develop the characters' emotions: The characters seem too robotic in their responses to the situation. Adding more emotion and depth to their reactions would make the audience care more about what's happening.

3. Add tension: The stakes seem too low in this scene, especially considering the gravity of the situation. Introducing obstacles or unexpected events can help create more tension and excitement.

4. Edit for brevity: Some of the dialogue feels repetitive or unnecessary. Cutting down on these moments can help the scene move more quickly and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 46 -  Creating a Failed Utopia
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. COAST (LIMBO)- DAY

Cobb and Ariadne climb out of the waves, full speed. They
move into the shadow of the tall, crumbling buildings. The
streets are eerily DESERTED. As they move further in, the
buildings become NEWER, different. Ariadne marvels at the
extraordinary collection of buildings− every architectural
style imaginable in waves of FAILED UTOPIAS.

ARIADNE
You built all this?

COBB
We both did.
129.

ARIADNE
It's incredible.

COBB
We built for years. Then, when that
got stale, we started in on the
memories.

A child's SHOUT echoes through the deserted canyons,
prompting Cobb to look down a side street: a LITTLE BLONDE
BOY crouched, his back to us. A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL joins the
boy, and, as Cobb turns down the street, they run off.

Cobb and Ariadne emerge into a peculiar SQUARE lined with an
eclectic mix of buildings, from APARTMENT BLOCKS to HOUSES.

COBB
This is our neighborhood.

ARIADNE
(confused)
From what city?

COBB
No. Our neighborhood.
(pointing)
That was our first apartment...
then we moved to that building...
we got that small house when Mal
became pregnant.

ARIADNE
You reconstructed them all from
memory?

COBB
We had time.

Cobb pauses in front of a French country house. Staring.

ARIADNE
What's that?

COBB
The house Mal grew up in.

ARIADNE
Will she be in there?

COBB
No. Come on-

Cobb leads Ariadne to the entrance of a glass skyscraper.
130.

INT. SKYSCRAPER LOBBY (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb leads Ariadne across the gleaming lobby to the
elevators.

COBB
We both wanted a house, but we both
loved skyscrapers. In the real
world we had to choose. Not here.

INT. SKYSCRAPER ELEVATOR (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls out his handgun, and a ziplock bag full of
bullets.

ARIADNE
How do we send Fischer back?

COBB
We need some kind of kick.

ARIADNE
What?

COBB
I'll improvise.

Cobb COCKS his weapon, and the ELEVATOR STOPS. The doors
open. Ariadne moves to exit, Cobb stops her.

COBB
There's something you have to
understand about me. About
inception. You see, an idea is like
a virus...

Cobb leads her out of the lift...

INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Ariadne step off the lift and into the incongruous
interior of a craftsman house. They cautiously move down the
corridor towards the back of the house...

COBB
Resilient...
(turns to Ariadne)
Highly contagious, and an idea can
grow. The smallest seed of an idea
can grow to define or destroy your
world...

Cobb is staring into the kitchen. Mal is sitting at the
table, back to them, staring out at the porch- the TOWERS of
Limbo stretching off behind it.
131.

MAL
The smallest idea, such as... "Your
world is not real."

Cobb hands Ariadne his gun and moves towards Mal.

MAL
A simple little thought that
changes everything...

Ariadne watches as Cobb sits down beside Mal. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - NIGHT

Arthur FLIES back down the shaft to the top of the elevator,
SQUEEZES past the car to the bottom and starts to set the
MAIN CHARGES ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE CAR, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["science fiction","psychological thriller","action"]

Summary Cobb and Ariadne explore the deserted streets of Limbo, marveling at the collection of failed utopias they had built together. They encounter memories from Cobb's past and eventually come face-to-face with Mal, who plants a small seed of doubt in Cobb's mind.
Strengths "The setting and world-building in Limbo is fascinating and engaging. The dialogue between Cobb, Ariadne, and Mal is thought-provoking and deepens our understanding of the characters."
Weaknesses "The level of conflict in the scene is relatively low, and there are few action sequences to drive the plot forward."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and character development. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

1. Description: While the dialogue flows well, there is not much description of the setting or character actions. Adding more sensory details and actions could help to enhance the scene and make it more immersive for the audience.

2. Pacing: The scene moves quickly from location to location, but it could benefit from more transitions or slower moments to allow the audience to take in the visuals and emotions of each place.

3. Characterization: There is some depth to Cobb's character with the reveal of his past with Mal, but Ariadne's character could be given more to do or say to flesh out her role in the story.

4. Foreshadowing: The idea of an "inception" being like a virus is brought up by Cobb, which foreshadows the major plot point of planting an idea in Fischer's mind. Adding more foreshadowing to later plot points could help the audience feel more satisfied with the payoff at the end of the film.
Suggestions The scene starts with Cobb and Ariadne emerging from the waves into a deserted city. The visuals are strong, but the dialogue feels a bit forced and expository. Instead of outright saying "we built all this," perhaps incorporate a bit more detail about their process of constructing the city and how they both contributed to it. This could help make the moment feel more organic and less like a plot device.

Furthermore, the introduction of the children feels a bit random and disconnected from the scene's overall objective. Instead, consider using them to show the effects of the ideas that have taken over Limbo. For example, perhaps they are playing with toys that have been created from their own memories, thus showing the power and influence of the subconscious in this world.

When the scene moves to the interior of the craftsman house, the dialogue between Cobb and Mal could benefit from more subtlety and nuance. Instead of having Mal outright state the film's central idea ("your world is not real"), consider having her express it through a more emotional or metaphorical lens. This could make the moment more affecting and less didactic.

Overall, the scene has a strong visual component but could benefit from a bit more finesse in terms of its writing. By incorporating more subtlety and nuance, the moment could be even more effective in conveying the themes and ideas of the film.



Scene 47 -  Choosing Reality
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Cobb touches Mal's arm- she TURNS, angry. It is only now that
we see that she holds a CARVING KNIFE. Mal looks at Ariadne.

MAL
So certain of your world. Of what's
real. Do you think he is-
(points at Cobb)
Or do you think he's as lost as I
was?

COBB
I know what's real.

MAL
What are the distinguishing
characteristics of a dream? Mutable
laws of physics? Tell that to the
quantum physicists. Reappearance of
the dead? What about heaven and
hell? Persecution of the dreamer,
the creator, the messiah? They
crucified Christ, didn't they?

COBB
I know what's real.

MAL
No creeping doubts? Not feeling
persecuted, Dom? Chased around the
globe by anonymous corporations and
police forces? The way the
projections persecute the dreamer?
132.

Mal puts her hand on his face. Pitying.

MAL
Admit it, Dom. You don't believe in
one reality anymore. So choose.
Choose your reality like I did.
Choose to be here. Choose me.

COBB
(rising anger)
I have chosen, Mal. Our children. I
have to get back to them. Because
you left them. You left us.

MAL
You're wrong, Dom. You're confused...
our children are here-

A child's SHOUT draws Cobb- James CROUCHES on the porch, back
to us. Philippa joins him, also turned away. Cobb watches,
moved. Mal leans in close.

MAL
(whispers)
And you'd like to see their faces
again, wouldn't you, Dom?

COBB
Our real children are waiting for
me up above.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur scrambles to arrange the sleepers on the floor of the
car- as his hand comes away from Saito, he sees BLOOD on it.
He looks at Saito's belly- the blood is coming through his
shirt. Arthur sticks headphones on sleeping Eames, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL FORTRESS - DAY

Eames throws a GRENADE, blowing up the security forces trying
to ascend the terraces. He DUCKS to the ground to avoid HEAVY
FIRE− starts unpacking the charges and setting them along the
base of the terraces-
133.

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito looks up as he hears a Security Guard climbing through
the duct... he raises his gun, TREMBLING with weakness...
And we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Psychological","Drama"]

Summary Cobb confronts Mal in limbo and grapples with the nature of reality, while in the waking world, the team faces danger as they try to complete their mission.
Strengths "The scene effectively builds tension through the conflict and parallels between Cobb and Mal's relationship in limbo and Cobb's desire to return to his children in the waking world. The dialogue also provokes thought about the nature of reality and challenges the audience's perceptions."
Weaknesses "The scene may feel slower-paced compared to the action taking place in the waking world."
Critique The scene sets up a tense conversation between Cobb and Mal as they discuss the nature of reality and the existence of their children. However, the scene suffers from several issues that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the scene does not provide enough context for the audience to understand what is going on. It is unclear why Cobb and Mal are having this conversation or what they are hoping to achieve through it. Some additional setup or backstory could help clarify the stakes and goals of the scene.

Secondly, the dialogue comes across as heavy-handed and overly expository. The characters are essentially having a philosophical debate, but the arguments they make feel forced and unrealistic. Instead of using dialogue to tell the audience what the characters are thinking, it would be more effective to show their emotions and motivations through their actions and behavior.

Thirdly, the scene ends abruptly and without resolution. There are several plot threads being introduced (the children, Saito's injury, the siege at the hospital) that are left unresolved. This can leave the audience feeling frustrated or confused and can disrupt the pacing of the overall story.

Overall, the scene has potential but would benefit from additional context, more realistic dialogue, and a clearer sense of resolution.
Suggestions Overall, this scene seems well-written and effective at conveying the tension and conflict between Cobb and Mal. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Consider adding more sensory detail to the scene. Right now, it's heavily reliant on dialogue, but incorporating visuals, sounds, and other sensory information could help bring the audience fully into the moment. For example, you could describe how the characters look (e.g. are they sweating, pale, trembling?), how the penthouse smells, or what sounds are audible in the background.

2. Clarify the relationships between the characters. It took me a moment to understand that James and Philippa are Cobb's children, and it might be helpful to make this more explicit in the dialogue or stage directions. Additionally, some more context could be useful in understanding Cobb and Mal's backstory and what led to their current conflict.

3. Consider tightening up some of the dialogue. Some of the exposition about dreams and reality feels a bit long-winded and could potentially be condensed or rephrased to be more succinct.

4. Add some physical action to the scene. The characters mostly just stand and talk, which can feel static on screen. Adding some movement or action (e.g. Mal pacing, Cobb clenching his fists) could help make the scene feel more dynamic.

5. Think about the pacing of the scene in the context of the larger story. As this is scene number 47, I'm assuming it's heading into the climax of the film. If that's the case, consider whether this scene is building momentum effectively towards that climax, or if it's dragging on too long. You might be able to cut down on some of the dialogue or action in order to keep the pacing brisk.



Scene 48 -  The Consequence of Cobb's Inception
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. KITCHEN, PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Mal laughs at Cobb.

MAL
(laughs)
Up above? Listen to yourself. You
judged me for believing the very
same thing.

Mal points at the children-

MAL
These are our children. Watch.
(turns to the kids)
Hey, James! Philippa?!

The children START TO TURN to us- BUT COBB CLOSES HIS EYES.

COBB
They're not real, Mal. Our real
children are waiting for us-

The children run off. Cobb opens his eyes.

MAL
You keep telling yourself that but
you don't believe it-

COBB
I know it-

MAL
And what if you're wrong? What if
I'm what's real?

Cobb is silent.

MAL
You keep telling yourself what you
know... but what do you believe?
What do you feel?

Cobb looks at Mal. Struggling.

COBB
Guilt. I feel guilt. And however
confused I might get.
(MORE)
134.
COBB (CONT'D)
However lost I might seem... it's
always there. Telling me something.
Reminding me of the truth.

MAL
What truth?

COBB
That you were wrong to doubt our
world. That the idea that drove you
to question your reality was a
lie...

MAL
How could you know it was a lie?

COBB
Because it was my lie.

MAL
(realizing)
Because you planted the idea in my
mind.

COBB
Because I performed inception on my
own wife, then reaped the bitter
rewards...

ARIADNE
Why?

COBB
We'd become lost in here. Living in
a world of infinite possibilities.
A world where we were gods. I
realized we needed to escape, but
she'd locked away her knowledge of
the unreality of this world...

INSERT CUT: Mal opens the doll's house. Takes the spinning
top, lies it down in the safe. LOCKS IT AWAY.

COBB
I couldn't make Mal understand that
we needed to break free. To die. So
I started to search our world...

Cobb turns to Mal, but keeps talking to Ariadne...

INSERT CUT: Cobb WANDERS the streets of Limbo...

COBB
Searching for the right place in
her mind...
135.

INSERT CUT: Cobb stops outside the VICTORIAN HOUSE, MAL'S
CHILDHOOD HOME, looking up at it. He heads inside...

COBB
And when I found that place, that
secret place where she had shut
away her knowledge years before, I
broke it open...

INSERT CUT: Cobb looks around Mal's childhood bedroom. Comes
to the doll's house...

COBB
I broke into the deepest recess of
her mind, to give her the simplest
little idea.

INSERT CUT: Cobb throws open the safe doors. Sitting on the
shelf of the safe is a spinning top. On its side.

COBB
A truth that she had once known,
but had chosen to forget...

INSERT CUT: Cobb picks up the totem. He SPINS it in the safe.
IT SPINS AND SPINS WITHOUT END. Cobb CLOSES THE DOOR of the
safe...

COBB
That her world was not real.

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL ARRIVE AT TRAIN TRACKS CUTTING
THROUGH WASTELAND.

COBB (V.O.)
That death was a necessary escape.

They lie on the tracks looking into each other's eyes. Mal is
crying. Cobb takes her hand, reassuring. He starts to speak-

COBB
You're waiting for a train. A train
that will take you far away. You
know where you hope this train will
take you, but you can't know for
sure. Yet it doesn't matter...

Mal looks at him across the railroad tracks. Replies-
MAL
Because you'll be together.

The train comes, OBLITERATING the lovers.

Back in the present- Cobb looks into Mal's eyes. She is
crying.
136.

COBB
I never thought that the idea I'd
planted would grow in her mind like
a cancer. That even after we woke...

INSERT CUT: Cobb looks around the HOTEL SUITE, confused. He
moves to the CURTAINS... Mal is on the ledge opposite.

COBB
You'd continue to believe that your
world was not real...

Crying, Mal nods-

MAL
That death was the only escape?

INSERT CUT: Mal PLUNGES to her death.

MAL
You killed me.

Cobb looks at Mal. Whispers-

COBB
I was trying to save you-I'm sorry.

Mal comes in close to Cobb. Looks him over.

MAL
You infected my mind. You betrayed
me. But you can make amends. You
can still keep your promise. We can
still be together... right here. In
our world. The world we built
together.

CUT TO:
Genres: []

Summary Cobb explains to Ariadne how he performed the inception on his own wife and how that led to her death. Mal appears and accuses Cobb of betrayal.
Strengths "The tension in this scene is palpable as we see the full extent of the emotional turmoil within Cobb's mind and the tragedy that has befallen him and his wife. The performances by the actors are outstanding, especially in portraying the intense emotions of the characters."
Weaknesses "Some viewers may find the scene overly complicated and confusing as it deals with the complex concept of inception and the multiple levels of reality. Additionally, the dialogue could have been clearer in conveying the emotional themes of the scene."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and emotionally impactful. However, there are a few areas of improvement.

First, the dialogue could benefit from being more concise. Some of the lines feel a bit repetitive, especially when it comes to Mal questioning Cobb's beliefs.

Secondly, the scene could use some more physical action. As it currently stands, much of the dialogue consists of the characters explaining their feelings and thoughts to each other. Adding more physicality or activity would help break up the dialogue and make the scene more engaging.

Finally, while the scene works well within the context of the larger story, it may be difficult for a reader to fully understand or appreciate without having read the preceding scenes or having prior knowledge of the characters and their relationship. Therefore, it may need to be revised or supplemented to stand alone as its own isolated scene.
Suggestions The scene is well-written and the dialogue is clear, but there are a few areas for improvement. Here are some suggestions:

1. Add more action to break up the dialogue. The scene is mostly characters talking, which can be visually uninteresting on screen. Consider showing flashbacks or cutaways to break up the talking and add more visual interest.

2. Make the dialogue more concise and impactful. Some of the exchanges between Mal and Cobb are too wordy and could benefit from shorter, more impactful sentences.

3. Strengthen the emotional connection between Mal and Cobb. While the dialogue captures their conflict, there could be more moments of connection or deeper emotional exploration to help the audience understand their relationship better and care more about the stakes.

4. Consider adding more details or setting the scene more clearly. For example, is the kitchen messy or immaculate? Are there any objects that could be used symbolically to enhance the mood or themes of the scene? Adding these details can help bring the scene to life on screen.



Scene 49 -  Final Showdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur hits "Play" on his music player- Edith Piaf starts to
ring out, Arthur checks his detonator and we-

CUT TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames races back in- in the relative quiet he notices MASSIVE
LOW-E MUSICAL TONES. He drops his gun and goes to Fischer's
side...
137.

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito musters all his remaining strength as the guard emerges-
Saito FIRES, dropping the guard, then COLLAPSES, the gun
clattering to the duct floor... Saito is dead.

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Eames powers up the defibrillator, puts the paddles on
Fischer's chest, then Pow!- he shocks him, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO)-DAY

LIGHTNING crackles across the sky- Ariadne sees it.

ARIADNE
We need Fischer.

MAL
You can't have him.

Cobb stares at Mal. Mesmerized.

COBB
If I stay, can she take him back?

ARIADNE
Cobb, what are you saying?

MAL
Fischer's on the porch.

ARIADNE
Cobb, you can't do this.

COBB
Go check he's alive, Ariadne.

Ariadne moves onto the porch, high above the metropolis, and
we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur nods his head in time with the music, counting down,
holding the detonator. He starts bracing himself, and we-

CUT TO:
138.

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames recharges the defibrillator. SHOCKS Fischer again, and
we-

CUT TO:

EXT. PORCH, PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne looks up as a LARGE BOLT OF LIGHTNING RIPS across the
sky... she looks down to see Fischer, BOUND AND BLOODY, lying
below the rail.

ARIADNE
He's here. And it's time. But you
have to come with us.

Another massive lightning strike flickers across the sky-

ARIADNE
Cobb, I'm not going to let you lose
yourself in here! You have to get
back to your children!

COBB
Send Fischer, I have to stay-

ARIADNE
You can't stay here to be with her-

Cobb turns from Mal. Looks at Ariadne.

COBB
I'm not. Saito is dead by now. That
means he's here. I have to stay
here and find him.

Ariadne removes Fischer's gag- pulls him up, onto the rail.
Cobb looks back at Mal.

COBB
I can't stay here to be with her
because she's not real.

Mal looks at Cobb, furious.

MAL
Not real? I'm the only thing you do
believe in anymore. Here-doesn't
this feel real, Dom?

She STABS him in the chest- Cobb WHEEZES- GASPING, looking at
Mal-
139.

COBB
I wish you were. But I couldn't
make you real. I'm not capable of
imagining you in all your
complexity and... perfection. As
you really were. You're the best I
can do. And you're not real.

Mal pulls the knife and moves to STRIKE again-

ARIADNE
No!

A SHOT rings out, Mal GRABS her shoulder- Cobb turns to
Ariadne, who is pointing Cobb's gun.

COBB
What're you doing?

ARIADNE
Improvising.

She KICKS Fischer off the roof- AIMS again at Mal-

Fischer DROPS as the sky LIGHTS UP WITH ELECTRICITY- Fischer
SCREAMS, then GASPS, no longer falling, and we are-

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames pulls the defibrillator from Fischer's chest as he
COUGHS AWAKE.

EAMES
Get in there-quick!

Fischer looks up at the double doors. STAGGERS to his feet.
Fischer pushes open the doors to the STRONGROOM.

INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer walks into the silent white room. At one end of the
room is a bed. A figure lies in the bed. His FATHER.
Breathing with tremendous difficulty. Dying. And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne takes aim at Mal-

COBB
No!

Cobb holds Ariadne's gaze. She lowers the gun. And we-

CUT TO:
140.

Eames GRABS the detonator- then moves to the door of the
strongroom...

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR, HOTEL - NIGHT

Arthur HITS THE DETONATOR-

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - CONTINUOUS

The CHARGES on the bottom of the elevator EXPLODE, and we
move into EXTREME SLOW MOTION as the flames BALLOON-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary The team rushes to complete their mission as they face multiple obstacles and challenges. Cobb confronts his inner conflict and faces a harsh reality about his relationship with Mal. Fischer finally reaches his destination and confronts his dying father.
Strengths "The scene has a high level of tension and suspense, with well-executed action sequences and character development. The dialogue is well-written and engaging, delivering the emotional depth of the scene."
Weaknesses "Some elements of the plot and dialogue may be confusing for viewers who have not followed the whole story. The strong emotional impact may also be overwhelming for some audiences."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and follows a clear narrative, but there are some areas that could use improvement. Firstly, there are some abrupt cuts between different locations and events that can be jarring for the audience. It may be useful to add more transitional shots or dialogue to smooth out these transitions and make the scene flow better.

There are also some moments where the dialogue feels slightly bit flat or cliched, particularly in the exchange between Arthur and Eames in the elevator where they both seem to be simply reciting information rather than having a natural conversation. Adding more nuance and subtext to the dialogue could make the scene more engaging.

Furthermore, the action scenes could be written with more clarity and detail to make them stand out and be more exciting for the audience. For example, the scene where Saito fires at the guard and collapses afterwards could be written with more vivid imagery and description to make it a more visceral and impactful moment.

Overall, while the scene is serviceable, tweaking the pacing, dialogue, and action could help elevate it to the next level and create a more engaging and memorable experience for the audience.
Suggestions The scene jumps around too much and it can be difficult for the audience to keep up with what is happening. I suggest simplifying the scene and focusing on one or two plot lines to make it easier to follow. It may also be helpful to establish the location of each scene more clearly and give specific details about the characters' actions and motivations. This will help the audience understand why each scene is important to the overall plot and keep them engaged.



Scene 50 -  Final Confrontations
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

A RUMBLE BUILDS as Fischer approaches the bed, overcome with
emotion. His Father sees him. Starts trying to speak. Fischer
leans in...

FATHER
(hoarse whisper)
I... was ... dis ... dis ...

FISCHER
I know, Dad. You were disappointed
that I couldn't be you.

The dying man SHAKES HIS HEAD with surprising energy.

FATHER
(whisper)
I was disappointed... that you
tried.

Fischer hears this. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - NIGHT

The elevator car is ROCKETED along its track by the explosion-

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur is SMASHED against the floor of the car next to the
sleepers who SHUDDER with the force of ACCELERATION- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames WATCHES Fischer-
141.

EAMES
(to himself) )
Come on, come on...

INT. STRONGROOM - DAY

The Father collapses back onto the pillow. Fischer starts to
weep. His Father reaches out a trembling hand but when
Fischer tries to hold IT, he SHAKES his son's hand away...

He is reaching for the SAFE next to his bed. His fingers
fumble at the keypad, he can't open it. His son pushes
5,2,8,4,9,1 into the keypad. Opens it. Inside the safe is the
WILL. And beside it is a HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, clearly made by a
child. By Fischer. He takes it out, MARVELING at it. He turns
to his father, but his father is dead.

Eames, watching from the door, HITS THE DETONATOR-

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

A line of EXPLOSIONS RIPS ALONG THE LOWER WALL... the ENTIRE
BUILDING STARTS TO SLIDE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN-

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

A FIERCE WIND starts HOWLING through the house as the sky
outside DARKENS. Cobb shields Mal against the blast- looks up
at Ariadne, who HOLDS the railing, FIGHTING the wind-

COBB
That’s the kick-you have to go!

ARIADNE
You’re coming!

COBB
No, I’m not. I’m staying here to
find Saito.
(turns to Mal)
And to say goodbye.

Ariadne loosens her grip on the railing...

ARIADNE
Don’t lose yourself. Find Saito.
And bring him back.

COBB
I will.

Ariadne lets the wind pull her off the edge- FALLING- and we-

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne DROPS as the FLOOR COLLAPSES- her eyes SNAP OPEN-
142.

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Cobb holds Mal in his arms. The wind DIES...

MAL
We’d be together forever. You
promised me.

COBB
I know. But we can’t. And I’m
sorry.

MAL
You remember when you asked me to
marry you? You said you dreamt that
we’d grow old together.

COBB
And we did...

Mal looks at Cobb... thinking. Remembering.

INSERT CUT: TWO ELDERLY PEOPLE (MAL AND COBB) WALK THROUGH
LIMBO... ACROSS A WASTELAND... TWO ELDERLY HANDS CLUTCH EACH
OTHER AS THEY LIE DOWN ON THE RAILROAD TRACK...

COBB
I miss you more than I can bear...
but we had our time together. And
now I have to let go...

She nods, weakly. Cobb holds Mal as her eyes close...
DYING... and we-

INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer and his Father’s body DROP AWAY-

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Ariadne DROPS inside the ROCKETING ELEVATOR, and as it
SMASHES INTO THE TOP OF THE SHAFT Ariadne SMASHES into-

INT./EXT. VAN INTO RIVER - DAY

THE WATER, THE VAN CRUNCHING WITH THE IMPACT- WATER CRASHING
THROUGH THE BROKEN WINDOWS FLOODING THE INTERIOR...

Fischer’s EYES OPEN, PANICKING- he UNBUCKLES HIMSELF, pushes
out of the broken window- STOPS, goes back to UNBUCKLE
Browning and DRAG him out.
143.

EXT. RIVER - CONTINUOUS

Fischer breaks the surface with Browning, who COUGHS and
GASPS. He starts PULLING for the near bank, struggling
through the rain-impacted water-

INT. VAN, UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne, Arthur and Yusuf wait calmly underwater. They are
sharing TWO REGULATORS pulled from beneath the front seat.
Arthur turns to Saito. There is blood in the water around
Saito’s belly- his eyes are LIFELESS- Arthur feels for a
pulse... turns to Cobb, whose eyes are lifeless... Ariadne
GRABS Arthur’s elbow, pulling him away...

EXT. RIVERBANK - MOMENTS LATER

Fischer turns Browning/Eames over. They lie there, exhausted.

BROWNING
I'm sorry, Robert.

Fischer stares at the rain on the water.

FISCHER
The will means that Dad wanted me
to be my own man, not live for him.
(turns to Browning) )
And I'm going to, Uncle Peter.

Browning nods. Wipes the rain from his face. In the puddle
beside them, the reflection is not Browning, but Eames.
Genres: ["Drama","Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary As Fischer's father passes away, Fischer learns of his father's true intentions for him and begins to accept his own path. Meanwhile, the dream team faces their final challenges with Saito's life in the balance and the need to successfully complete the inception. The team's journey reaches its climax with high stakes and emotional farewells.
Strengths "The scene combines the emotional journey of Fischer's acceptance with the climactic action of the inception team's final challenges. The use of intercutting between the different locations adds to the tension and pacing. The poignant moments between Cobb and Mal, as well as Fischer and his father, provide a satisfying payoff to character arcs."
Weaknesses "The action-packed events may overshadow some of the emotional moments, and some of the dialogue could be more impactful."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can provide a technical critique of the scene. The scene lacks proper formatting, description, and character development. The dialogue appears unnatural and forced, lacking emotional depth. The transitions between scenes are abrupt and disorienting, making it difficult for the audience to follow the story's progression. The plot feels incomplete and leaves too many questions unanswered, making the story less satisfying than it could be. Additionally, the scene lacks visual and sensory cues that could bring it to life in the mind of the reader. Improving formatting, character development, dialogue, transitions, and sensory details could make this scene more engaging and evocative.
Suggestions The scene has a lot going on, which can make it confusing for the viewer to keep up with everything that's happening. One suggestion would be to simplify the action by focusing on one or two key moments or conversations that are crucial to the plot and character development.

For example, the conversation between Fischer and his dying father could be given more room to breathe, allowing their emotions to fully come to the surface. This would make Fischer's decision to open the safe and find the pinwheel more meaningful and poignant.

Similarly, some of the action sequences could be reworked to make them more streamlined and easier to follow. The jumping between different locations and characters can be disorienting, so finding ways to connect these moments more clearly could help streamline the pacing of the scene.

Finally, the dialogue could be tightened up to make it more concise and impactful. There are several lines that feel repetitive or overly expositional, which can detract from the emotional impact of the scene. By focusing on the key themes and character moments, the dialogue can be more targeted and effective in conveying those ideas to the viewer.



Scene 51 -  The End of an Epic Journey
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. UNDERNEATH BRIDGE IN THE RAIN - MOMENTS LATER

Arthur sits on the riverbank, breathing heavily.

ARTHUR
What happened?

ARIADNE
Cobb stayed.

ARTHUR
With Mal?

ARIADNE
No. To find Saito.

Arthur looks out at the water below the bridge.

ARTHUR
He'll be lost...

ARIADNE
No. He'll be alright.
144.

And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. DAWN. CRASHING SURF.

The waves TOSS a BEARDED MAN onto wet sand.

As the Japanese Security Guard turns him onto his back, we
realize that this is Cobb- OLDER. WEARY. TRAVELLED...

INT. DINING ROOM, CASTLE - DAY

Cobb WOLFS his food. The Elderly Japanese Man (Saito, 90
years old) watches him.

SAITO
So... have you come to kill me?

Cobb does not look up.

SAITO
I've been waiting for someone to
come for me...

COBB
Someone from your half-remembered
dream...?

Saito peers at Cobb.

SAITO
Cobb? Not possible-he and I were
young men together. And I am an old
man...

COBB
Filled with regret?

Saito REMEMBERS, nods...

SAITO
Waiting to die alone, yes.

Cobb is STARING at something on the table.

COBB
I came back for you... I came to
remind you of what you once knew...

Cobb gestures at the table. Saito follows his gaze down to
the polished surface of the table...

COBB
That this world is not real.
145.

The top IS STILL SPINNING PERFECTLY, AS IF IT WILL NEVER
TOPPLE. Saito looks at the top. Then back to Cobb.

SAITO
You came to convince me to honor
our arrangement?

COBB
Yes. And to take a leap of faith.

As Saito-san listens to Cobb, he looks at the GUN on the
table between them...

COBB
Come back and we'll be young men
together again.

The elderly Saito looks at Cobb. Nods. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - DAY

Ariadne watches Cobb. His eyes are closed.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT (O.S.)
Hot towel, sir?

His EYES FLICKER OPEN. He takes the towel with a nod. Ariadne
smiles. Relieved.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT
We'll be landing in Los Angeles in
about twenty minutes. Do you need
immigration forms?

Cobb nods. Takes a landing card. Looks around the cabin.

Saito is WATCHING him. Serious. Haunted. Holding Cobb's gaze,
SAITO PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. Cobb nods thanks...

INT. ARRIVALS, LAX - LATER

Cobb steps forwards to the IMMIGRATION OFFICIAL. Hands him
his passport. Nervous. The Official takes a beat, looks Cobb
up and down, then WHUMP!- the passport is stamped. As Cobb
takes it back, he spots Ariadne at the next counter. She nods
at him. He nods back. Then moves off...

As Cobb passes through baggage claim, he exchanges subtle
greetings with Eames and Yusuf.

Arthur smiles broadly at Cobb. Cobb brushes past Fischer, who
glances back at him as if thinking maybe he should know him,
then moves on...
146.

As Cobb emerges into the crowded arrivals hall, he spots
Professor Miles, waving at him...

INT. KITCHEN, COBB AND MAL'S HOUSE - DAY

Cobb enters with Miles. Drops his bags. Moves to the table,
looking out at the overgrown garden. He reaches into his
pocket, takes out his pewter spinning top, lowers it to the
table and SPINS IT- a CHILD'S SHOUT makes him look up-

Through the window, James and Philippa have run into view,
playing, THEIR FACES TURNED AWAY... Cobb STARES at the back
of his children's heads... Miles moves to the window and
KNOCKS on the glass-

James and Philippa TURN- see their Dad. He steps to the
window, watching their BRIGHT FACES SHINING as they run
towards him...

Behind him, on the table, the spinning top is STILL SPINNING.
And we-

FADE OUT.

CREDITS.

END.
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Drama","Science Fiction","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb, having completed his mission, returns to the real world and reunites with his family.
Strengths "The resolution of the overall plot is emotionally satisfying to the audience, and the use of the spinning top as a symbol is a great storytelling device."
Weaknesses "The scene could have had more conflict and tension to make it more engaging."
Critique Overall, the scene seems well-written and serves as a satisfying conclusion to the story. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

One issue is that the scene jumps around in time and location without clear transitions. While this works in some parts of the scene, such as the cut from Arthur and Ariadne to Cobb on the beach, it can be confusing at times. It may be helpful to add clearer transitions or indications of where and when the scene is taking place.

Another potential issue is that the scene relies heavily on dialogue to convey emotion and plot information. This can be effective, but it may be more impactful to show the characters' emotions through their actions and expressions. For example, rather than having Cobb explicitly say he came back to remind Saito of what he once knew, we could see him gesturing to the spinning top or showing his own emotional reaction to seeing it still spinning.

Finally, the scene ends somewhat abruptly, with Cobb watching his children and the spinning top still on the table. It may be helpful to add a few lines or a shot to make the final moment feel more conclusive and impactful.
Suggestions While this scene serves as the resolution to the story, it could benefit from some clarity and emotional depth. Firstly, the scene jumps abruptly from Arthur and Ariadne discussing Cobb's whereabouts to suddenly showing an older and tired Cobb. We need a transition that helps the audience understand how Cobb got from point A to point B.

Secondly, Cobb and Saito's conversation could use more emotional weight. This is the scene where Cobb finally convinces Saito to honor their agreement and come back to reality. We need to feel the weight of this moment for both characters, especially Saito. Maybe we can see more regret in his face and hear some of his fears about what he's leaving behind in the dream world.

Finally, the scene needs to end on a stronger emotional note. Yes, Cobb is reunited with his children, but what about his emotional state or his relationship with Mal? We need to see more resolution and closure for these characters who have gone through so much. Maybe we can see Cobb and Mal have a moment of catharsis where they finally reconcile or come to terms with their past. Or, we can see Cobb confront his guilt and sorrow over Mal's death in a more concrete way. Whatever the choice, the scene needs a stronger emotional payoff to truly feel like a satisfying resolution to the story.