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Scene 1 -  The Burial of the Sacred Pipe
Based on "Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the
Birth of the FBI" by David Grann




Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022



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KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 1.


1 P1 INT. OSAGE LODGE MADE OF BARK CIRCA 1900 1 P1

We see eyes through cracks and openings of the bark. We see
slices of faces peering in. We hear:

NON-HON-ZHIN-GA NON-HON-ZHIN-GA
(overlap) Kah-see(n) ta(n) theh-ksheh
Tomorrow we will bury this ah(n)-kee-xeh ta(n)-kah-
one. This Pipe Person. txah(n). Nah(n)-nee-oh(n)-pah
theh-ksheh nee-kah-shee-kah
eh-koh(n).

CUT TO THE PIPE in his hand.

Old Osage men sit in a circle around a small fire in the
center of the lodge. Osage women sit in an outer circle next
to the walls of the lodge. The Non-hon-zhin-ga leads the
meeting. He is holding the Pipe.

NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (CONT'D) NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (CONT'D)
This one gave us courage. Nah(n)-nee-oh(n)-pah thek-
This one has been our sheh wah-zhee(n)-dah(n)-kah
messenger to Wah-kon-tah. It wah-kshee-theh nahn-peh. Theh-
is time for us to bury this ksheh wah-kohn-dah wah-pah-
Pipe with dignity and to put zheen theh nahn-peh.
away its teachings. Those Nah(n)-nee-oh(n)-pah ksheh
children who are outside wah-xeh ah-xoh-peh eh-txah(n)
listening they will learn koh-eh ee-eh ee-tah ee-heh-
another language. They will ah(n)-theh tah ah-kxai.
be taught by white people. Zhee(n)-kah-zhee(n) ah-shee-
They will learn new ways and dah nah(n)-zhee(n) pah ee-eh
will not know our ways. eh-zhee(n) pee-oh(n) tah ah-
pah. Ee(n)-shdah-xee(n) nee-
kah-shee-kah ah-pah wah-
koh(n)-zeh tah ah-pai. Ohk’-
ah(n) tseh-kah pee-oh(n) tah
ah-pah kah-koh(n) tah(n) ohk’-
ah(n) ah(n)-koh-dah-pee ee-
pah-hoh(n) zhee tah ah-pah.

He stops - he wraps the Pipe. The WIFE OF THE PIPE KEEPER
receives the Pipe bundle.

TIME CUT:

P2 The WIFE OF THE KEEPER OF THE PIPE holds the Pipe which is P2
wrapped in a woven cover. She cradles it in her arms and
close to her breasts and in her grief she rocks The Pipe as
she would rock an infant. The woman and ANOTHER PIPE MOURNER
wail a prayer song for one who has died.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 2.


NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.) NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.)
Tomorrow when Grandfather Sun Ga-see(n) tah(n) wee-tsee-koh
is overhead we will bury this mee(n) mah-shee tah hee thah-
Sacred Pipe. hah nah(n)-nee-oh(n)-pah wah-
koh(n)-dah-kee ksheh ah(n)-
kee-xeh tah(n)-kah-txah(n).



P3 EXT. OSAGE LODGE MADE OF BARK CIRCA 1900 P3

The Osage men and women exit the lodge followed by the
children - they come toward us.

NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.) NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.)
We have agreed to do this... Eeh-ahn-kee-ohn ahn-nahn-
shtahn ahn-kah-txahn...



P4 POV TRACKING SHOT OF THE LAND P4

NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.) NON-HON-ZHIN-GA (V.O.)
And it is hard to put aside Gah-thohn tah-tahn wah-xoh-
things this sacred. Still, peh ee-heh-theh wah-tseh-xee
tomorrow we will bury this ah-kxai. Gah-seen tahn nahn-
Pipe. nee-ohn-pah ksheh ee-heh-ahn-
theh shohn tahn-kah-txahn.

P5 CUT TO THE PIPE BEING BURIED P5

Wailing sound cuts to silence.



P6 SILENT “NEWSREEL” IN 1:33 ASPECT RATIO (TINTED? B/W?) P6

INTERTITLE
The chosen people of chance. (The
anointed of oil and gas.)
The richest people per capita on
earth...
The Osage Nation!



P7 CUT TO AN IMAGE.[DELEGATION WITH OFFICIALS] P7

INTERTITLE
Osage spending sprees delight the
nation.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 3.


P8 CUT TO BEAUTIFULLY DRESSED OSAGE MEN AND WOMEN. P8

INTERTITLE
Expensive jewelry.



P9 CUT TO EXAMPLES OF JEWELRY. P9

INTERTITLE
More Pierce Arrows than any county
in the U.S.A.

P10 CUT TO AN OSAGE COUPLE POSED BY A PIERCE ARROW P10

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
And chauffeurs to do their bidding -

P11 CUT TO CHAUFFEUR opening the car door for a handsome Osage P11
couple.

P12 CUT TO Car driving on a dirt road. P12

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
Scores of prime beef cattle
slaughtered for their barbeques.

P13 CUT TO A BAR-B-QUE. P13

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
It’s not all play and games as many
mixed-blood children attend the
best private schools and colleges.

P14 CUT TO OSAGE COLLEGE STUDENTS. [Art Class?] P14

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
Yet rodeos and parades brighten up
the year.

P15 CUT TO IMAGES OF RODEOS and PARADES. P15

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
Archery, anyone?

P16 CUT TO ARCHERY CONTEST. P16

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
How about golf?

P17 CUT TO Osage playing golf. P17
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 4.


INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
These fortunate daughters of
chance.
These mixed-blood Osage girls have
known only luxury and ease.

P18 CUT TO OSAGE PRINCESS CONTEST P18

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
My people will be happy in this
land. White man cannot put iron
thing in ground here. White man
will not come to this land...
Chief Wah-Ti-An-Kah

P19 CUT TO tinted romantic image of an actor playing CHIEF WAH TI P19
AN KAH standing in a noble position.

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
Chief Wah-Ti-An-Kah declared this
way back in 1870...

but in 1896...

P20 CUT TO OIL BUBBLING OUT OF THE GROUND P20

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
OIL!

A rumble from the ground is heard...

INTERTITLE (CONT'D)
Throughout the years, the problem
with the Indian has been poverty.
With these Osage, the problem is
now wealth.

CUT TO:



P21 AN OIL WELL EXPLODING (IN FULL COLOR AND 2:35 WIDESCREEN) P21

A geyser of oil shoots up. Osage - shirtless - are covered in
oil as it rains down on them - baptized in the black gold.



P22 CAMERA SWEEPS OVER FIELD OF OIL DERRICKS P22
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 5.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, a group of Osage men and women gather in a bark lodge to discuss the burial of a sacred Pipe. The Non-hon-zhin-ga leads the meeting and wraps the Pipe before handing it to the Wife of the Pipe Keeper. The scene ends with the Osage people preparing to bury the Pipe the next day, as the Wife mourns its loss.
Strengths
  • Powerful cultural portrayal
  • Emotional impact
  • Historical context
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively sets a somber and reflective tone, introducing the audience to the cultural rituals of the Osage tribe and the significance of the Sacred Pipe. It establishes a sense of sadness and grief through the mourning of the Pipe Keeper's wife. The scene also hints at the conflict and tension that will arise from the newfound wealth of the Osage people. Overall, it is a powerful and emotionally impactful scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the impact of wealth on a Native American community and the historical context of the Osage murders and the birth of the FBI is intriguing and unique. It provides a fresh perspective on a lesser-known part of American history.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene revolves around the burial of the Sacred Pipe and the introduction of the wealth of the Osage people. While it sets up the historical context and foreshadows future conflicts, it is not the most action-driven or plot-heavy scene.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the Osage culture and their struggle to maintain their traditions in the face of external influences. The use of intertitles and the inclusion of historical events add authenticity to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in this scene are not extensively developed, but they serve their purpose in conveying the cultural significance and emotions surrounding the burial of the Sacred Pipe. The Pipe Keeper's wife stands out with her grief and the way she cradles the Pipe. The Non-hon-zhin-ga is a respected leader who guides the meeting.

Character Changes: 6

There is not much character development or change within this scene. However, it lays the foundation for future character arcs and the challenges they will face as their community undergoes significant changes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to honor and bury the Sacred Pipe with dignity. This reflects their deeper need to preserve and protect their cultural traditions and teachings.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to carry out the burial of the Sacred Pipe in accordance with their customs and beliefs. This reflects the immediate circumstance of the death of the Pipe Person and the need to perform the burial ritual.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in this scene is more subtle and internal, focusing on the tension between preserving cultural traditions and adapting to new ways. It sets the stage for future conflicts that will arise from the wealth of the Osage people.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong, as the focus is more on the internal and philosophical conflicts faced by the characters. However, the presence of white people and their influence on the younger generation can be seen as a subtle form of opposition.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in this scene are not immediately high, but they are implied. The Osage people's way of life and cultural traditions are at risk due to the encroachment of outside influences and the newfound wealth.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the cultural rituals, the wealth of the Osage people, and the tensions that will arise. It sets the stage for future events and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the discovery of oil and its impact on the Osage people. The audience may not anticipate the shift in the characters' circumstances.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the preservation of Osage traditions and the influence of white people and their language on the younger generation. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values as they mourn the loss of their cultural practices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through the grief and sadness of the characters, as well as the cultural significance of the burial of the Sacred Pipe. It creates a sense of nostalgia and sets the stage for the emotional journey of the characters.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue in this scene is minimal, primarily consisting of ceremonial phrases and prayers in the Osage language. While it effectively conveys the cultural context and emotions, it does not provide much insight into the characters or advance the plot significantly.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces the audience to a unique cultural setting and presents a conflict that sparks curiosity and emotional investment. The use of language and visual imagery adds depth and richness to the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of reflection and emotional resonance, while also maintaining a sense of forward momentum. The transitions between different locations and time periods are smooth and well-paced.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue. The use of intertitles adds visual interest and enhances the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the characters, and presenting the conflict. It effectively transitions between different locations and time periods.


Critique
  • The scene is effective in setting the tone of mourning and solemnity. The dialogue is sparse but impactful, with the Non-hon-zhin-ga's words carrying weight and significance. The visual elements, such as the Osage men and women sitting in a circle around the fire and the Wife of the Pipe Keeper cradling the Pipe, add to the emotional impact of the scene. However, the scene could benefit from more character development for the Wife of the Pipe Keeper. We don't learn much about her beyond her grief, and this lack of depth could make it difficult for the audience to connect with her on an emotional level.
  • The dialogue between the Non-hon-zhin-ga and the Wife of the Pipe Keeper is powerful, but it could be more nuanced. The Non-hon-zhin-ga's words about the Osage children learning a new language and being taught by white people could be interpreted as a commentary on cultural assimilation and the loss of traditional knowledge. This theme could be explored further in the dialogue, perhaps through a conversation between the Non-hon-zhin-ga and another elder about the importance of preserving Osage culture and language.
  • The scene could also benefit from more context about the significance of the Pipe and its burial. We learn that it is a sacred object, but we don't know much about its history or its role in Osage culture. This lack of information could make it difficult for the audience to fully understand the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The scene could also be more visually interesting. While the Osage men and women sitting in a circle around the fire is a powerful image, it could be supplemented with more visual details, such as close-ups of the Pipe or the Wife of the Pipe Keeper's face as she mourns. These details could help to immerse the audience in the scene and deepen their emotional connection to the characters and the story.
Suggestions
  • To develop the Wife of the Pipe Keeper's character, consider adding a flashback or a dream sequence that shows her memories of the Pipe and its significance in her life. This could help to humanize her and make her more relatable to the audience.
  • To explore the theme of cultural assimilation, consider adding a scene where the Non-hon-zhin-ga and another elder discuss the importance of preserving Osage culture and language. This could help to contextualize the Non-hon-zhin-ga's words about the Osage children learning a new language and being taught by white people.
  • To provide more context about the significance of the Pipe, consider adding a scene where the Non-hon-zhin-ga or another elder explains its history and its role in Osage culture. This could help to deepen the audience's understanding of the emotional weight of the scene.
  • To make the scene more visually interesting, consider adding more close-ups and medium shots of the characters and the Pipe. These shots could help to immerse the audience in the scene and deepen their emotional connection to the characters and the story.



Scene 2 -  Ernest Burkart's Arrival at Hale's Ranch
1 INT. TRAIN CAR – MOVING – SPRING, 1919 1

The train is crowded with travelers, WWI Soldiers (Osage and
white), oil executives/engineers, Osage families, vagabonds
and hustlers. We come upon ERNEST BURKHART (white, 30s) his
uniform half off, half drunk, heading back home.

CUT TO:
2 EXT. TRAIN DEPOT/FAIRFAX – DAY 2

The train pulls into the station and the variety of
passengers get off – into a mass of activity – hustlers,
families reuniting, businessmen, shoppers -

Ernest steps onto the platform and takes it all in.

A well dressed little person hands Ernest a flier – he reads
it: “Make it Rich”. As Ernest walks past the TAXI STAND he
sees very well dressed well-to-do Osage greeting their
families and getting into beautiful cars. We see four or five
poor sketchy characters who are loitering around the station
looking hungrily at the well-to-do Osage. Ernest reacts. Then
a fight breaks out. Ernest skirts around it and through the
fight a large man comes from behind him: HENRY ROAN (Osage,
30s) Very handsome, striking, well-dressed, hair in braids.

HENRY ROAN
Ernest? Ernest Burkhart?

ERNEST
...Yeah?...

HENRY ROAN
I’m Henry - Henry Roan.

ERNEST
Henry...

HENRY ROAN
I’m to take you to your Uncle Hale.
3 INT. FANCY CAR – DRIVING 3

Ernest and Henry Roan driving, seeing rows of derricks in
wide open space...

ERNEST
Who’s land is this here? Henry?
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 6.


HENRY ROAN
My land.
4 EXT. HALE’S RANCH – DAY 4

They drive under a sign that says, “HALE RANCH” and there are
no derricks here. This is a cattle ranch.

UNCLE WILLIAM HALE, KING OF THE OSAGE (60s) comes out to meet
Ernest with a warm greeting, accompanied by his wife MYRTLE
“MYRTIE” HALE and daughter WILLIE. Hale mutters something to
Henry Roan in broken Osage…

Hale just holds on tightly to Ernest, happy he’s back alive.
5 INT. HALE’S RANCH – LIVING ROOM 5

Hale and Ernest, sitting together by the fire…

HALE
Times like this people put castles
in the air, held aloft by hysteria,
rush blind with greed, based on
fear, unfounded fear. Fear running
all over the place and screaming
like animals.

This is a cattle ranch. There’s no
oil here. So I’m settled with no
fear.

These Osage have had enough
trouble, they’re down to not too
many of them left.

There’s a way that nature moves and
changes direction and that’s
happened upon them. Time will run
out, this wealth will run dry drier
than the seven years of famine that
plagued the Pharaohs of old.
They’re sick people. Big hearted
but sickly.

You saw bloodshed?

ERNEST
Well, some... I was a cook in
Infantry.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 7.


HALE
Did you see Kelsie Morrison, he was
over there.

ERNEST
I did. Otis Griggs and others. If
you remember...

HALE
Soldiers have to eat. You fed the
soldiers that won the war.

ERNEST
Saw more die from the flu.

Hale looks at him.

HALE
What happened to your stomach?

ERNEST
My gut burst.

HALE
You’re lucky to be alive.

ERNEST
They gave me a belt. Told me not to
do heavy lifting.

HALE
You made a good choice coming back
here. Texas got nothing. So much
changed last years of what’s
happened. Hard to recognize the
place I can tell you that... Money
is spent freely here now.

ERNEST
Yes, sir. The oil, sir.

HALE
There’s very much money.

ERNEST
I love money, sir.

HALE
You call me Uncle or King...
remember?

ERNEST
King.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 8.


HALE
Did you pick up any disease?

ERNEST
No.

HALE
Keep that thing wrapped up over
there?

ERNEST
Yes, sir.

HALE
You like women.

ERNEST
Yes, King, course I do, it’s a
weakness.

HALE
What kinds they have out there?

ERNEST
Just white that I saw.

HALE
You like red?

ERNEST
Red and white, I don’t mind. I like
all of ‘em, I’m greedy. I like
heavy ones, pretty ones, soft ones,
ones that smell good.

Hale pours some Whiskey. In the b.g., through the front door
enters: BYRON BURKHART, Ernest’s brother, comes over to join
them.

HALE
Taste that.

ERNEST
Good.

HALE
Don’t get played out in the open
with liquor or you’ll cause
trouble. That right, Byron?

BYRON
That’s right, King.

Ernest looks from his brother Byron back to his Uncle.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 9.


HALE
There’s only one deputy Sheriff I
don’t hold a commission under... I
am officially a reserve deputy
sheriff in Fairfax... but I don’t
want to bring unwanted eyes...

ERNEST
I will not find that trouble, I
won’t do stupid things.

HALE
Is your head on straight after
being over there?

ERNEST
Yes of course. I’m not thick, sir,
I’m strong -

HALE
I have a place to put you, driving.
I’ll put you there, that’s for you.
Cause you can’t do much else ‘cause
of your gut. Most fellows out here
are crooked, some do things well,
most do bad, don’t be simple.

ERNEST
No, sir, I won’t.

HALE
Don’t make small trouble about
things... If you make trouble, make
it big - get a big payoff from
this, you see? You don’t read do
you?

ERNEST
I can read.

HALE
You smarten yourself up.

ERNEST
I read –

Hale reaches over and gets a book (shows Ernest who leafs
through the pages) -

HALE
Osage are sharp. They don’t talk
much so that might make you run
your mouth to fill the space.
‘Specially if you’ve been drinkin’.
(MORE)
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 10.

HALE (CONT'D)
But it’s better to be quiet if you
don’t have something smart to say.
Don’t get caught on that - it’s
just what they call “blackbird
talk” (imitating) “cheep cheep”.
Just because they’re not talking
doesn’t mean they don’t know things
about everything. Osage are the
finest and most beautiful people on
God’s earth.



6 INT - BUNKHOUSE TYPE OF PLACE 6

Looking down on an OSAGE MAN writhing in agony - crying out.
His body suffers severe convulsions.

Tighter on his BOOTS with a JUG lying on its side.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Half-drunk WWI soldier Ernest Burkart arrives at a train depot in Fairfax in 1919, where he's greeted by Osage man Henry Roan. Roan takes Ernest to Uncle William Hale's ranch, where Hale expresses concerns about the changing times and Osage wealth. Ernest reveals his experiences as a cook in the infantry and flu-related health issues. Hale offers Ernest a job driving and warns him not to cause trouble. Ernest's brother Byron joins them, and Hale gives Ernest a book. The scene ends with an Osage man suffering from convulsions.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Well-developed characters
  • Historical context
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Minimal character change

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets the tone and introduces the main characters while providing important information about the historical context and the Osage community's situation. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' personalities and motivations. The scene also hints at potential conflicts and foreshadows future events.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the aftermath of WWI and the impact of oil on the Osage community is intriguing and unique. It offers an opportunity to delve into historical events and their effects on individuals and society.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene is primarily focused on introducing the main character, Ernest, and his return home. It sets up the potential conflicts and challenges he may face in the future.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While it explores familiar themes of wealth, greed, and the clash between tradition and progress, it presents them in the context of the Osage people and their experiences with oil wealth, which adds a unique perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene are well-developed and distinct. Ernest is portrayed as a troubled and somewhat unreliable protagonist, while Uncle Hale is depicted as a wise and influential figure. Their interactions reveal their motivations and establish their relationships.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene. It primarily serves as an introduction to the characters and their backgrounds.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reintegrate into his family and community after returning from war. This reflects his deeper need for belonging, acceptance, and stability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to reconnect with his Uncle Hale and settle back into his hometown. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his return from war and the challenges of readjusting to civilian life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some tension and foreshadowing of conflicts, the scene primarily focuses on establishing the characters and the setting. The conflict level is relatively low but hints at potential conflicts to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderately strong. The protagonist faces challenges in readjusting to civilian life, navigating the tension between tradition and progress, and dealing with the potential dangers and temptations of the oil wealth.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not particularly high in this scene, the potential conflicts and the impact of oil on the Osage community suggest that higher stakes may arise later in the story.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the main character, establishing the setting, and hinting at potential conflicts. It sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces conflicts and tensions that have the potential to unfold in unexpected ways. The fight that breaks out at the train depot and the philosophical conflict between Uncle Hale and the protagonist add an element of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's Uncle Hale, who believes in the stability and security of the cattle ranch and is skeptical of the oil wealth, and the changing times and the impact of oil wealth on the Osage people. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values as he navigates the tension between tradition and progress.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes a sense of melancholy and reflection, but the emotional impact is not particularly strong. It serves more as an informative and introductory scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their backgrounds. It also sets the tone for future conflicts and foreshadows potential plot developments.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces the protagonist, establishes his goals and conflicts, and creates a sense of tension and anticipation for what will happen next.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually introducing the setting, characters, and conflicts, and building tension and anticipation for what will happen next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the protagonist's internal and external goals, and sets up the philosophical conflict.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a description of the train car and the variety of passengers, but it doesn't provide any specific details about the characters or their actions. It would be helpful to have some visual cues or interactions to engage the reader.
  • The introduction of Henry Roan feels abrupt and lacks context. It would be beneficial to establish his relationship with Ernest Burkart and why he is there to pick him up.
  • The dialogue between Hale and Ernest in the living room lacks clear direction and purpose. The conversation meanders without a clear conflict or objective.
  • The transition to the Osage man suffering from convulsions feels disjointed and out of place. It doesn't connect well with the previous scene or the overall narrative.
  • The scene could benefit from more sensory details and emotional depth to enhance the somber and mournful tone.
Suggestions
  • Provide more specific details about the characters and their actions in the train car to make the scene more engaging.
  • Establish the relationship between Henry Roan and Ernest Burkart and clarify his purpose in picking him up.
  • Give the dialogue between Hale and Ernest a clear conflict or objective to drive the scene forward.
  • Find a better transition between the conversation in the living room and the Osage man suffering from convulsions to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Add more sensory details and emotional depth to enhance the somber and mournful tone of the scene.



Scene 3 -  Mollie Kyle's Monthly Check-in and Osage Community Chaos
7 INT. PITTS BEATY’S BUSINESS – DAY 7

CU. MOLLIE.

She has come to her monthly check in with her guardian, PITTS
BEATY (50s, white, grand wizard KKK). An embroidery framed
behind him spelling “KIGY”. Pure formality:

PITTS BEATY
State your name.

MOLLIE
I am Mollie Kyle, incompetent.

PITTS BEATY
What is your allotment number?

MOLLIE
Two hundred and eighty five.

PITTS BEATY
You’ve asked for additional
monies of $752.00 to pay the claim
of the Shoun Brothers? A medical
bill for an abcess.

MOLLIE
Yes, sir.

PITTS BEATY
Was the operation successful?
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 11.


MOLLIE
Yes, sir.

PITTS BEATY
And the diabetes?

MOLLIE
I’ve a prescription now at Fairfax
drugs, etc.

PITTS BEATY
You got to look out for that, you
know.

MOLLIE
...

PITTS BEATY
Now Mollie... it’s your mother -
You know she’s restricted, too, so
we have to account for every penny.
It says here she spent $319.05 on
meat at the grocery! Don’t you
think that’s an awful lot of meat
for what she needs?

MOLLIE
Yes, Mr. Beaty...

PITTS BEATY
Well you look after that, won’t
you?

MOLLIE
... Yes.

CUT TO:
8 EXT. FAIRFAX STREETS – DAY 8

Traditional and “modern” dressed Osage gathered outside the
bank (or same office building as Mollie) to deposit their
quarterly annuity checks. A carnival atmosphere as a clerk
directs Osage assembling.

CLERK
Line up for Allotment (annuity)
payments! Unrestricted Only – this
line... Restricted – take your
guardian – he’ll sign your check
for you! Busy day - Stay in line.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 12.


Traditional Osage couple come forward. Clerk leads them
inside.

CUT TO:
9 EXT. CAR SHOWROOM - LOOKING DOWN AT A MAN, SALESMAN, ON HIS 9
KNEES. HE’S LOOKING UP AT SOMEONE, BEGGING.

SALESMAN
...You do this it’ll make all the
difference cause my wife’s been
feeling poorly. Doctor says it’s
her constitution but the boy has
asthma and that just... you just
got your check - you’re
unrestricted. Please!

We see THREE OSAGE with THE SALESMAN. The OSAGE look at him.

OSAGE MAN
(pointing to his blanket)
This color.

The SALESMAN SLAMS his hand against a black Pierce Arrow car.
Overjoyed.



10 ERNEST WAITING ON THE STREET, AT HIS CAB. NEARBY HUSTLER 10
PHOTOGRAPHERS LOOK TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OSAGE WITH FRESH
FUNDS. HENRY ROAN IS THERE WITH A YOUNG WOMAN - ENJOYING THE
PATTER. HENRY AND ERNEST SEE EACH OTHER.

PHOTOGRAPHER 1 [NEED LINES]
...$30 - get a photo taken for
posterity –

PHOTOGRAPHER 2
C’mon! – Don’t go by him, he
doesn’t know nothing - he’s an
amateur - Don’t you want a nice
picture to be remembered in a
proper way for your family? Only
$40...
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 13.


11 INSERT: THREE POSED STUDIO PHOTOS OF OSAGE (USING ANTIQUE 11
CAMERA):

Two men posing on a crescent moonprop, Osage relatives in a
formal portrait (mix of traditional and “modern” clothing)
and the four sisters - Mollie, Reta, Anna, Minnie.

PUNCH IN TO a C.U. of Mollie



12 MOLLIE EMERGES FROM BEATY’S OFFICE. ERNEST GOES TO HER: 12

ERNEST
Mollie... this way - lot of
characters around here today - be
careful.

He opens the door for her as an IMPROMPTU CAR RACE speeds by
with 10-15 people including kids chasing and cheering after.
Ernest rushes Mollie into the car. Two of the people rushing
after are KELSIE MORRISON (white, 30s) local hustler,
flamboyant dress and CATHERINE COLE, (OSAGE) his wife.

KELSIE
Hey Ernest!(to Catherine) We were
at the front together in France.

ERNEST
Kelsie Morrison!

KELSIE
Great to see you. My wife Catherine
Cole. (to Ernest sotto voce) Full
blood.

ERNEST
Sky people - ?

Ernest looks over to Mollie to see if this is impressing her.
Suddenly A HORSE is spooked by the cars.

KELSIE
Lots of money on this!

Kelsie races after the cars. Pitts Beaty looks down at
Mollie.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In this scene, Mollie Kyle meets with her guardian, Pitts Beaty, to discuss her medical bills and her mother's spending habits. Meanwhile, outside a bank, Osage individuals deposit their annuity checks, attracting the attention of a pushy salesman and opportunistic photographers. Mollie emerges from Beaty's office and is rushed into a car by Ernest, sparking an impromptu car race and causing a spooked horse. Kelsie Morrison recognizes Ernest and introduces his wife Catherine to him.
Strengths
  • Effective establishment of power dynamics
  • Confrontational dialogue
  • Introduction of important themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited character change
  • Moderate emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the power dynamics between Mollie and Pitts Beaty, creating tension and conflict. The dialogue is formal and confrontational, adding to the overall tone of the scene. The scene also introduces the theme of financial control and restrictions faced by the Osage community.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the scene, a monthly check-in with a guardian, is familiar but effectively used to highlight the power dynamics and restrictions faced by the protagonist.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around Mollie's request for additional funds and the scrutiny she faces from Pitts Beaty. It effectively establishes the conflict and power dynamics between the characters.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the racial dynamics and discrimination faced by the Osage community. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Mollie and Pitts Beaty are well-defined and their personalities and motivations are clear. Mollie is submissive and compliant, while Pitts Beaty is authoritative and controlling.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in the scene. Mollie remains submissive and compliant, while Pitts Beaty maintains his authoritative and controlling demeanor.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the oppressive and discriminatory system she is a part of while trying to secure additional funds for medical expenses. This reflects her deeper need for autonomy and justice in a society that restricts her.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to successfully request additional funds from Pitts Beaty to pay for a medical bill. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the bureaucratic system and securing financial support.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily between Mollie and Pitts Beaty, as he questions her financial requests and scrutinizes her mother's spending. The tension and power dynamics create a high level of conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces resistance and discrimination from Pitts Beaty. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold and whether the protagonist will achieve her goals.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively high for Mollie, as her financial requests are being scrutinized and her mother's spending habits are being questioned. However, the scene does not reach the highest level of stakes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the power dynamics and restrictions faced by the protagonist. It sets up the conflict and themes that will be explored throughout the screenplay.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the impromptu car race and the spooked horse. These elements add excitement and unpredictability to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle against the racist and oppressive system represented by Pitts Beaty. This challenges her beliefs in equality and justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a sense of tension and unease, as Mollie is subjected to scrutiny and control by her guardian. However, the emotional impact is not as strong as in other scenes.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is formal and confrontational, effectively conveying the power dynamics and tension between the characters. It also reveals important information about Mollie's financial situation and her mother's spending habits.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a tense and emotionally charged interaction between the characters. The dialogue and power dynamics create a sense of anticipation and curiosity.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and building tension through the dialogue and interactions between the characters. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear and concise descriptions and dialogue. It effectively conveys the visual and auditory elements of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It effectively conveys the progression of the interaction between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene begins with a somber and mournful tone as the Osage men and women gather in a lodge to discuss the burial of a sacred Pipe. The Non-hon-zhin-ga leads the meeting and speaks about the significance of the Pipe and the burial. The Wife of the Pipe Keeper receives the Pipe bundle and mourns its loss. This scene is crucial to understanding the cultural and spiritual significance of the Pipe to the Osage people. However, the scene could benefit from more context about the history and significance of the Pipe to help the audience understand its importance. Additionally, the dialogue between the Non-hon-zhin-ga and the Wife of the Pipe Keeper could be more detailed to provide a deeper insight into their emotions and connection to the Pipe.
  • The scene then cuts to Ernest Burkart, a half-drunk WWI soldier, arriving at a train depot in Fairfax in 1919. The scene introduces the character of Ernest and sets the stage for his interactions with the Osage people later in the story. However, the scene could benefit from more context about Ernest's background and why he is arriving in Fairfax. Additionally, the dialogue between Ernest and Henry Roan, the Osage man who takes him to his Uncle Hale's ranch, could be more detailed to provide a deeper insight into their relationship and the cultural differences between them.
  • In the next scene, Mollie Kyle meets with her guardian, Pitts Beaty, to discuss her monthly check-in. The scene highlights the financial restrictions placed on the Osage people by the government and the tension between Mollie and Pitts Beaty over her medical bills and her mother's spending habits. However, the scene could benefit from more context about the history of the allotment system and its impact on the Osage people. Additionally, the dialogue between Mollie and Pitts Beaty could be more detailed to provide a deeper insight into their relationship and the cultural differences between them.
  • The scene then cuts to Osage individuals gathering outside a bank to deposit their annuity checks. The scene introduces the chaotic and carnival-like atmosphere of the annuity payments and the tension between the Osage people and the salesman trying to sell them a car. However, the scene could benefit from more context about the history of the annuity payments and their impact on the Osage people. Additionally, the dialogue between the Osage people and the salesman could be more detailed to provide a deeper insight into their emotions and perspectives.
  • The scene ends with a horse being spooked by the cars during an impromptu car race. The scene adds a sense of chaos and danger to the scene and highlights the impact of the influx of money on the Osage people. However, the scene could benefit from more context about the history of the car culture in Fairfax and its impact on the Osage people. Additionally, the dialogue between Ernest, Kelsie Morrison, and Catherine Cole could be more detailed to provide a deeper insight into their relationship and the cultural differences between them.
Suggestions
  • To provide more context about the history and significance of the Pipe, consider adding a voiceover or a flashback scene that explains its cultural and spiritual significance to the Osage people. This could help the audience understand its importance and appreciate the emotional weight of the scene.
  • To provide more context about Ernest's background, consider adding a flashback scene that shows why he is arriving in Fairfax. This could help the audience understand his motivations and perspective.
  • To provide more context about the allotment system and its impact on the Osage people, consider adding a voiceover or a flashback scene that explains its history and consequences. This could help the audience understand the financial restrictions placed on the Osage people and appreciate the tension between Mollie and Pitts Beaty.
  • To provide more context about the history of the annuity payments and their impact on the Osage people, consider adding a voiceover or a flashback scene that explains their history and consequences. This could help the audience understand the chaotic and carnival-like atmosphere of the annuity payments and appreciate the tension between the Osage people and the salesman.
  • To provide more context about the history of the car culture in Fairfax and its impact on the Osage people, consider adding a voiceover or a flashback scene that explains its history and consequences. This could help the audience understand the impact of the influx of money on the Osage people and appreciate the chaos and danger of the impromptu car race.



Scene 4 -  Ernest Waits for Mollie Outside Church
13 EXT. CATHOLIC CHURCH/FAIRFAX STREET – DAY 13

Quiet exterior of the church. Ernest is waiting in his car.
Then Mollie exits the church, says goodbye to the PRIEST.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 14.


The HOMINY FOOTBALL TEAM passes her as Ernest jumps out of
the car and opens the door for her -- See Mollie and we hear:

HALE (V.O.)
You know who I mean when I say
Mollie Kyle?

ERNEST (V.O.)
Yea

HALE (V.O.)
You know the one I mean, of the
sisters.
14 INT. BILL HALE’S RANCH - LUNCHTIME 14

Sitting around a dining table HALE, ERNEST and BYRON:

ERNEST
I know which one, Mollie

HALE
Mollie is the one, she lives with
the mother Lizzie...

ERNEST
mm I know, Uncle, which one, I
know her. I’ve been drivin’ her -

HALE
Drivin’ her... well Matt Williams
used to go with her for a time and
she’s not, they’re not together in
a way now – so that means you could
have a proposition at that if that
struck you –

ERNEST
you want me to see after Mollie?
Why she’s a regular customer of
mine. (sotto voce) And I think she
likes me...

HALE
that Mollie’s easy to like and a
full blood Estate at that, that’s
something a man could work with…

Ernest gets it, thinks, turns and looks at his brother
Byron…who nods at him…as if Byron has already heard this idea
and is encouraging Ernest…
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 15.


HALE (CONT'D)
You got a good face - you can be
the marrying kind?

ERNEST
how do you mean?

Ernest looks again to Byron…Byron looks back.

HALE
-- we mix these families together
and that estate money flows the
right direction, will come to us -
That’s a full blood estate, and she
gets that money of her Mother
Lizzie. That’s good business that
and legal. Not against a law,
that’s smart investment.
15 INT. ERNEST’S TAXI 15

Ernest and Mollie in the car.

ERNEST
I heard you went with Matt Williams
for a time –

MOLLIE
…you talk too much.

ERNEST
no, not talk too much, I’m just
asking about who I gotta beat in
this horse race..he he

MOLLIE
So you race horses, do you?

ERNEST
I’ve been known to.

MOLLIE
... (scoffs) Huh!

He scoffs back.

CUT TO:
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 16.
16 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME 16

Ernest drops Mollie off at her home. Teasing smiles as he
watches her head inside. And over her we begin to hear Ernest
reading -

ERNEST (V.O.)
“When they first moved to Oklahoma
territory, people put up signs…”



17 FLASH ON CAMERA: A SIGN THAT READS, “NO DOGS, NO INDIANS” 17
18 INT. BUNKHOUSE/HALE RANCH – DUSK 18

CU. Ernest, reading from a book at a 6th grade level about
Osage culture and history. CU. flipping pages of the book.
Continues reading -

ERNEST
Osage weren’t ever part of the
“five -

Byron Burkhart comes in and gathers up Ernest, who throws the
book down:

BLACKIE THOMPSON (white, 30s)

BYRON
You remember Blackie Thompson?

They all jump into a car and head off into the night...

ERNEST (V.O.)
Osage weren’t ever part of the
“five civilized tribes,” the
Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctow, Creek
and Seminole...
19 EXT. DENOYA HOUSE – FAIRFAX - NIGHT 19

A well-dressed Osage couple: MR. AND MRS. FRED DENOYA get out
of the car by their garage when THREE MASKED MEN (Ernest,
Blackie, Byron) come up on them and take their Diamond Rings
and Stickpin.

DENOYA
Just take my car, don’t take my
ring, my father gave me that –
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 17.


BLACKIE
Don’t want the car, just them
jewels. Give me that (he pulls at
his ring) You didn’t do nothing to
earn this.

They run off into the night.
20 INT. BASEMENT/FAIRFAX – NIGHT 20

Ernest betting stolen jewels on a table. He, Blackie and
Byron in a poker game with OTHER GUYS.

ERNEST
I love money. I love money, turn
those cards over –

Cards turned over. They lose.
21 EXT. POOL HALL/FAIRFAX – DAWN 21

Ernest and the rest leaving the pool hall at dawn, dejected,
head in different directions. Ernest gets in his cab.

ERNEST (READING, V.O.)
“Dawn was always a sacred time for
prayers…”
22 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAWN 22

LIZZIE Q., Traditional Osage, Mollie’s mother, prays at dawn
by a creek near the house.

ERNEST (V.O.)
“They call the sun ‘grandfather.’
The moon ‘mother.’ Fire, ‘Father.’”

SEE: A SUN THROUGH THE CLOUDS. A CRESCENT MOON. A WILDFIRE
BURNING THE PRAIRIE.

ERNEST (V.O.)
They call it the “flower moon” –
when tiny flowers spread over the
blackjack hills and prairies. There
are so many, it’s as if a spring
festival of the gods left confetti
there. (Matthews p.61)
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 18.


We see tiny Spring flowers spread over the prairie.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Ernest waits for Mollie outside a Catholic church as she says goodbye to the priest. The Hominy Football Team passes by, and later, Ernest, Hale, and Byron discuss Mollie and the possibility of Ernest pursuing a relationship with her. Ernest drops Mollie off at her home, and they exchange playful banter. The scene also includes Ernest reading about Osage culture and history, as well as the robbery of Mr. and Mrs. Fred Denoya. Lizzie Q., Mollie's mother, is shown praying at dawn by a creek near their home.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of plot elements and conflicts
  • Intriguing exploration of Osage culture and history
  • Establishment of tone and atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some dialogue could be more engaging

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces multiple plot elements and conflicts, establishes the tone and atmosphere, and provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using marriage as a means to gain access to an estate and the exploration of Osage culture and history add depth and intrigue to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters discuss the potential marriage and plan a robbery, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 5

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While there are no unique situations or fresh approaches to familiar ones, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a layer of realism to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are introduced and their relationships and motivations are established, but there is room for further development and exploration.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in this scene, but the potential for character development and transformation is established.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to impress Mollie and potentially pursue a romantic relationship with her. This reflects his desire for companionship and validation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to discuss the possibility of a proposition with Mollie, which involves mixing their families together and benefiting from her full blood estate. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges of the protagonist's financial situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a sense of tension and conflict in the scene, particularly in the discussion of the potential marriage and the robbery.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are no significant obstacles or conflicts, the potential romantic relationship and the proposition create a sense of opposition and challenge for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The potential marriage and the robbery both involve high stakes, as they have financial and personal implications for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new plot elements, conflicts, and character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the possibility of a proposition and leaves the outcome uncertain. The audience doesn't know how the characters will respond to the proposition or what the consequences will be.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits some emotional response, particularly in the portrayal of Osage culture and the robbery, but there is room for deeper emotional engagement.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys information, reveals character traits, and sets the tone, but there are moments where it could be more engaging and impactful.

Engagement: 7

This scene is engaging because it introduces a potential romantic relationship and presents a proposition that could have significant consequences for the characters. The dialogue and interactions between the characters create tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and allowing for moments of tension and reflection. The dialogue and action are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene begins with a shot of Ernest arriving at a train depot in Fairfax in 1919. The visual elements in this scene include the crowded train car and the train depot with various passengers. This sets the tone for the scene, which is a mix of nostalgia and anticipation. The emotional tone of this scene is also somber and mournful, as Ernest is greeted by Henry Roan, an Osage man, who takes him to his Uncle Hale's ranch. This scene introduces the conflict of Ernest's half-drunk state and his encounter with a fight at the train depot, but it is not resolved in this scene.
  • At the ranch, Hale expresses his concerns about the changing times and the wealth of the Osage people. Ernest reveals that he was a cook in the infantry and saw soldiers die from the flu. Hale offers Ernest a job driving and warns him not to cause trouble. Ernest's brother Byron joins them, and Hale gives Ernest a book to read. The visual elements in this scene include the Osage men sitting in a circle around a small fire, the Pipe being wrapped and handed to the Wife, and the Wife cradling the Pipe in her arms. This scene introduces the theme of the changing times and the wealth of the Osage people, which will be explored further in the story.
  • The scene then cuts to a shot of an Osage man suffering from convulsions. This sets the tone for the emotional and medical concerns of the Osage people, which will also be explored further in the story.
  • In the next scene, Mollie Kyle meets with her guardian, Pitts Beaty, to discuss her monthly check-in. They discuss Mollie's medical bills and her mother's spending habits. The visual elements in this scene include the framed embroidery spelling 'KIGY' behind Pitts Beaty, which adds to the setting of the scene and the emotional tone of formal and tense discussion.
  • The scene then cuts to Osage individuals gathering outside a bank or office building where Osage individuals are depositing their annuity checks. A salesman pleads with three Osage individuals to buy a car, and photographers try to take advantage of the Osage people with fresh funds. Mollie emerges from Beaty's office and is rushed into a car by Ernest. An impromptu car race occurs, and Mollie and Ernest encounter Kelsie Morrison and Catherine Cole. The visual elements in this scene include the Osage individuals gathered outside the bank, the salesman begging the Osage individuals, and the impromptu car race.
  • The scene then cuts to Ernest waiting in his car outside a Catholic church and Mollie exits the church after saying goodbye to the priest. The visual elements in this scene include the quiet exterior of the church and the Hominy Football Team passing by as Ernest jumps out of the car and opens the door for Mollie. This sets the tone for the emotional and anticipatory discussion between Ernest and Mollie.
  • In a later scene, Ernest, Hale, and Byron discuss Mollie and the possibility of Ernest pursuing a relationship with her. Ernest drops Mollie off at her home and they exchange playful banter. Ernest is seen reading a book about Osage culture and history. He, Blackie, and Byron rob Mr. And Mrs. Fred Denoya of their diamond rings and stickpin. They later bet the stolen jewels in a poker game and lose. Ernest and the others leave a pool hall at dawn, dejected. Lizzie Q., Mollie's mother, is shown praying at dawn by a creek near their home.
  • The scene ends with Lizzie Q. Praying at dawn by a creek near her home.
Suggestions
  • To improve the scene where Ernest, Blackie, and Byron rob Mr. And Mrs. Fred Denoya, you could add more tension and conflict between the robbers and the victims. This could be achieved by having the Denoyas put up a fight or by having the robbers face unexpected obstacles during the robbery.
  • To improve the scene where Ernest drops Mollie off at her home, you could add more dialogue between Ernest and Mollie that reveals their feelings for each other. This could help to build the romantic tension between the two characters.
  • To improve the scene where Ernest, Hale, and Byron discuss Mollie, you could add more dialogue between Ernest and Hale that reveals Hale's thoughts and feelings about Mollie. This could help to build the fatherly and protective relationship between Hale and Mollie.
  • To improve the scene where Ernest reads a book about Osage culture and history, you could add more dialogue between Ernest and Byron that reveals Byron's thoughts and feelings about Osage culture and history. This could help to build the brotherly relationship between Ernest and Byron and could also add more depth to the theme of the changing times and the wealth of the Osage people.
  • To improve the scene where Ernest, Blackie, and Byron lose at the poker game, you could add more dialogue between Ernest and the other players that reveals their thoughts and feelings about the stolen jewels. This could help to build the tension and conflict between the robbers and the other players and could also add more depth to the theme of justice and morality.



Scene 5 -  Ernest and Mollie's Intimate Evening
23 EXT. BRUSH ARBOR/OSAGE VILLAGE – SUNRISE 23

The baby naming ceremony. Ernest stands by the car, watching
Mollie and the ceremony from a distance. Mollie’s extended
family is here.

ERNEST (V.O.)
... given your Osage name - it’s
how you will be called to the next
world - your Osage name can never
be taken away from you.
24 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – ANOTHER DAY/AFTERNOON 24

Ernest pulls up to Mollie’s Homestead. Servants. A few male
ranch hands take care of the property. Ernest, carrying
shopping bags, helps Mollie to her door. Mollie hands Ernest
a box. He opens it. It’s a hat.

MOLLIE
Here put this on.

Ernest tries on the hat...

MOLLIE (CONT'D)
Do you want dinner?

ERNEST
Yes.
25 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – THAT MOMENT 25

As Ernest steps inside, he sees: LIZZIE Q, Mollie’s mother.
She stares at him, he nods to her. She is very old and in
traditional Osage style rests on the floor... he tries a
smile at her, she doesn’t.

ERNEST (V.O.)
Wah-Kon-Tah, means God. The special
ones who went ahead in the fog to
new places are called, “Travelers
in the Mist.”
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 19.
26 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - DINING ROOM 26

Mollie and Ernest finishing their dinner... She offers him a
CIGARELLO. Lizzie is asleep in the next room. They speak
quietly:

ERNEST
Don’t you want a bite of this?

MOLLIE
I got too much sugar.

ERNEST
You can never be too sweet now can
you?

MOLLIE
It makes me sickly.

ERNEST
[He eats. Then] You live in this
house just with your Mother?

MOLLIE
I take care for her. You live with
your Uncle.

ERNEST
Yes. Do you know him?

MOLLIE
Since I can remember.

ERNEST
He’s a nice man.

MOLLIE
Why did you come here?

ERNEST
...for what?

MOLLIE
To live here?

ERNEST
Yes. I live here.

MOLLIE
Why?

ERNEST
For my Uncle. I work with him.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 20.


MOLLIE
Your brother is Bryan.

ERNEST
Byron. That’s right.

MOLLIE
There’s more...

ERNEST
More brothers? Horace and Duke.
Yes.

MOLLIE
Are you scared of him?

ERNEST
My brother... Who?

MOLLIE
...Your Uncle.

ERNEST
Well, no. He’s the King of the
Osage Hills. He’s the nicest man in
the world but I know if you cross
him what he can do.

I’m my own man, I do my own work.
I’m a businessman.

silence, then:

ERNEST (CONT'D)
My uncle doesn’t scare me... you
have all those sisters?

MOLLIE
...What is your religion?

ERNEST
... I’m Catholic...

MOLLIE
You don’t come to church.

ERNEST
I’ve, yes, I’ve been away. How come
you don’t have a husband?

MOLLIE
...
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 21.


ERNEST
I’m a man and I want to know why a
woman like you doesn’t have a
husband?

MOLLIE
...

ERNEST
You have nice color skin...

Mollie looks.

ERNEST (CONT'D)
What color would you say that is?

MOLLIE
... My color.

ERNEST
Well, I think it’s pretty. You got
nice color skin. You got a nice
house. And I think you just
pretend to be so severe. I bet you
have a soft belly on the inside...

MOLLIE MOLLIE
psh, Trickster... Eh-sheh, sho-mee-kah-see...

ERNEST
Did you say Coyote?... Well, if I’m
a coyote and you’re a raven... we
can help each other out.

MOLLIE
...Coyote wants money.

ERNEST
Well that money’s real nice,
especially if you’re lazy like
me... I want to sleep all day and
make a party when it’s dark…

RAIN starts to fall. We can hear it through an OPEN WINDOW.

MOLLIE MOLLIE
Do you like whiskey? Do you like peh-tseh nee?

ERNEST
I don’t like whiskey, I love
whiskey.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 22.


MOLLIE
I have good whiskey, not bad
whiskey.

ERNEST
I think we should try some and find
out...

Mollie gets up to get a bottle. We hear THUNDER. Wind is
blowing the rain in. Ernest gets up to close the window.

MOLLIE
No. Don’t close it.

ERNEST
What?

MOLLIE
We need to be quiet for awhile. Sit
down.

They go back and sit.

He looks at her. She looks at him. He looks over at Lizzie.

MOLLIE (CONT'D)
A storm is... well it’s powerful.
So we need to be quiet now.

An awkward moment.

ERNEST
Well... it’s good for the cattle.
That’s for sure...

MOLLIE
Just be still.

There’s a solemnity that comes over the two of them. A bond.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Ernest watches Mollie's baby naming ceremony from a distance before joining her for dinner at her homestead. They discuss their families, religion, and Mollie's lack of a husband as rain falls outside. They share a moment of quiet bonding over whiskey.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective character development
  • Establishing tension and intimacy
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the relationship between Ernest and Mollie, explores their backgrounds and beliefs, and creates a sense of tension and intimacy. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important character traits.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring cultural differences and personal connection is well-executed in this scene. It provides insight into the characters' backgrounds and sets up potential conflicts and growth.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene revolves around the developing relationship between Ernest and Mollie. It introduces potential conflicts and sets up future events.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and characters are familiar, the writer brings authenticity to their actions and dialogue, creating a sense of realism and depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Ernest and Mollie are well-developed and their personalities and beliefs are effectively conveyed through their dialogue and actions. Their interaction creates intrigue and establishes a connection.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it sets up potential growth and change for the characters in future events.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to establish a connection with Mollie and understand her better. This reflects his deeper desire for companionship and a sense of belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have dinner with Mollie and establish a rapport with her. This reflects the immediate circumstances of their interaction and the challenge of building a relationship.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in this scene is primarily internal and subtle. It arises from the characters' different backgrounds and beliefs, creating tension and potential for future conflicts.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is not strong. There are no significant obstacles or conflicts that create uncertainty or tension.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in this scene are relatively low, focusing more on character development and establishing connections. However, the impending storm adds a sense of urgency and potential danger.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the relationship between Ernest and Mollie, introducing potential conflicts, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected moments of silence and vulnerability in the conversation between the protagonist and Mollie. The audience is unsure of how their interaction will progress.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of intimacy and tension, creating an emotional impact on the audience. The characters' connection and the impending storm add to the emotional depth.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in this scene is engaging, revealing, and natural. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities, beliefs, and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it focuses on the developing relationship between the protagonist and Mollie. The dialogue and gestures create a sense of intimacy and curiosity, keeping the audience invested in their interaction.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of silence and reflection. It creates a sense of intimacy and builds tension between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines in a clear and organized manner.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses the conversation in a logical and coherent manner.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It meanders without a strong narrative or emotional arc.
  • The dialogue feels superficial and lacks depth. It doesn't reveal much about the characters or their motivations.
  • The scene lacks visual elements and actions, making it visually stagnant and unengaging.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the cultural and historical context of the Osage people and their naming ceremony.
  • The pacing of the scene is slow and doesn't create a sense of tension or conflict.
  • The emotional connection between Ernest and Mollie is not fully developed, making their interaction feel superficial and lacking in chemistry.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure it contributes to the overall story and character development.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more meaningful and revealing of the characters' inner thoughts and emotions.
  • Introduce more visual elements and actions to create a dynamic and engaging scene.
  • Explore the cultural and historical context of the Osage people and their naming ceremony to add depth and authenticity to the scene.
  • Consider adding a conflict or tension to create a more compelling and impactful scene.
  • Develop the emotional connection between Ernest and Mollie through deeper conversations and shared experiences.



Scene 6 -  Ernest's Presence at Church and Picnic
27 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE'S GRAY HORSE HOME. 27

Rain battering the exterior of the house.

CUT TO:
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 23.
28 INT. CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAYS LATER 28

Ernest has joined Mollie for Sunday services. Mollie’s
sisters are here: ANNA (the wild one) RETA (sensible one)
MINNIE (the weak one). And MINNIE’S HUSBAND, BILL SMITH
(white, 30s).

PRIEST
Let us pray. (Ora pro nobis)

Ernest stands. Then - embarrassed - sees that everyone is
kneeling. Bill Smith is doing it right. Gives Ernest a look.
(Sizing each other up.)
29 EXT. CATHOLIC CHURCH – SAME DAY 29

A gathering, picnic after Church. Osage style with people
eating on the ground. A SHINNY game being played nearby -
Ernest watches with PAUL RED EAGLE.

Hale standing with a group of Osage men including Henry Roan
watching an OSAGE ARTIST PAINTING THE SCENE. They’re laughing
together. He notices Bill Smith with Minnie who’s sitting
with her sisters eating. An OLDER OSAGE WOMAN leans over to
give Minnie something and reveals a knife under her clothing.
Hale looks over to Ernest - then to Mollie.

Ernest looks over to Mollie and her sisters.



30 ANGLE, MOLLIE AND HER SISTERS. 30

They’re talking about Ernest…in OSAGE:

MOLLIE MOLLIE
He’s not that smart but he’s Sheh-theh kee-oh-pxah-zhee
handsome. ahkxah, ah-zheen thah-leen ah-
kxai.

RETA RETA
He looks like a Snake. Wets’ ah ween ee-kohn-skah ah-
kxah-ee.

MOLLIE MOLLIE
No, he looks like Coyote. Hahn-kah-zhee, shohn-meen-kah-
Those Blue Eyes. see ween ee-kohn-skah doh-hoh
theh.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 24.


ANNA ANNA
His brother is handsome, too. Ee-son-kah ah-kxah thah-leen
I like the brother more. shkee ah-kxah-een. Eh ahn-oh-
xtah xtsee.

MINNIE MINNIE
That red haired rat? Een-tsoh-dahn pah-xeen zhoo-
tseh theh?

ANNA ANNA
Better than your possum, Eeh thah-leen, seen-shdah
playing dead and lazing thee-dah ah-kxah, ts’eh thee-
around the house. hee-tseh oh-thoots’ ah-keh
shkee oh-tsee-leh eh-tsee ah-
kxah-ee.



MINNIE MINNIE
He’a possum around you, he’s Thee-eh ah-kee-xeh seen-shdah
like a rabbit to me... ween ah-kxah-ee, ahn-zhee wee-
eh mahn-shtseen-kah ween eh-
kohn ah-kxah-ee.

RETA RETA
Be quiet. Coyote’s watching. Oh-nee theen-kah. Shohn-meen-
kah-see dohn-peh ah-kxah-ee.

(They all look at him.)

MINNIE MINNIE
He wants our money. Mahn-zeh-skah ahn-koh-dah-
pee kohn-thah ah-kxah-een

MOLLIE MOLLIE
Of course he wants money, but Mahn-zeh skah kohn-thah skah,
he wants to be settled. He’s ah-zheen meen-lahn-keh kohn-
not restless... thah ah-kxah skah. Eh dah-eh-
thah-leen ah-kxah-een.

MINNIE MINNIE
With him you won’t need Pitts Zo-thah-leh, Pitts Beaty dah-
Beaty to tell you what to do dah(n) thee-dah oh-thoh-wah-
with your money. theh shkoh(n)-shdah ee(n)-kee
dah(n).

RETA RETA
His Uncle has money... it’s Een tseh-kee ah-kxah mahn-zeh-
not money he wants... he skah ah-theen ah-kxah-een…
loves you. Mahn-zeh-skah een-kee ah-kxah-
een…
Thee-oh-xdah-peh

CU. MOLLIE looks at Ernest.
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 25.


CU. ERNEST looks at Mollie.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Ernest attends Sunday services with Mollie and her sisters at a Catholic church. Tension arises when Ernest stands up during prayer. At a picnic after the service, Mollie's sisters discuss Ernest's intentions, with Minnie suspecting he wants their money. Hale notices an older Osage woman with a knife, potentially foreshadowing future conflicts. Ernest and Mollie exchange glances as the scene ends.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Establishing character dynamics
  • Creating tension
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional impact
  • Moderate conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the setting and introduces the characters while creating tension and intrigue through the dialogue and actions.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring the dynamics between characters in a religious setting is interesting and provides opportunities for conflict and character development.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene revolves around the characters' observations and discussions about Ernest, setting up potential conflicts and romantic tension.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and characters may be familiar, the dialogue and cultural elements add a fresh approach to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are distinct and their personalities are revealed through their dialogue and interactions. The scene sets up potential conflicts and romantic relationships.

Character Changes: 6

There is potential for character changes and development, particularly in the relationships between the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to impress Mollie and her sisters, as he is interested in Mollie romantically. This reflects his desire for acceptance and validation.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not clearly defined. However, it can be inferred that he wants to fit in and be accepted by Mollie's family and community.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily through the characters' observations and discussions about Ernest.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are no major obstacles, the subtle conflicts and tensions between characters create a sense of opposition and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are not particularly high in this scene, but there is potential for conflicts and romantic tension to escalate.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts and potential romantic relationships.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces subtle conflicts and hints at potential obstacles for the protagonist's romantic pursuit.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene creates a sense of intrigue and tension, but the emotional impact is not particularly strong.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' thoughts, feelings, and relationships. It effectively conveys the tension and dynamics between the characters.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces the protagonist's romantic interest and establishes the dynamics between the characters. The dialogue and cultural elements add depth and intrigue to the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue and action. It maintains a steady rhythm and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene begins with a shot of an Osage man suffering from convulsions, which is a powerful and unsettling image. However, it's unclear who this man is or what's happening to him. This lack of context could confuse the audience and detract from the emotional impact of the scene. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue or a brief explanation to clarify the situation.
  • The scene then cuts to a shot of Ernest waiting in his car outside a Catholic church. This is a visually interesting image, but it's unclear why Ernest is waiting outside the church. Is he there to pick someone up? Is he late for a service? Without this information, the audience is left guessing and the scene loses some of its impact. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue or a brief explanation to clarify Ernest's presence outside the church.
  • The scene then cuts to a shot of the Hominy Football Team passing by as Ernest opens the car door for Mollie. This is a visually interesting image, but it's unclear why the football team is relevant to the scene. Are they important to the story? Without this information, the audience is left wondering and the scene loses some of its impact. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue or a brief explanation to clarify the significance of the football team.
  • The scene then cuts to a shot of Ernest, Hale, and Byron discussing Mollie and the possibility of Ernest pursuing a relationship with her. This is an important and emotionally charged moment, but it's unclear how the other characters feel about this. Are they supportive? Are they opposed? Without this information, the audience is left guessing and the scene loses some of its impact. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue or a brief explanation to clarify the other characters' perspectives on this matter.
  • The scene then cuts to a shot of Ernest and Mollie exchanging playful banter as he drops her off at her home. This is a visually interesting image, but it's unclear why Ernest and Mollie are bantering in this moment. Are they trying to hide something? Are they trying to connect? Without this information, the audience is left guessing and the scene loses some of its impact. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue or a brief explanation to clarify the significance of their banter.
Suggestions
  • To clarify the situation with the Osage man suffering from convulsions, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue from Pitts Beaty or one of the other characters explaining what's happening to him.
  • To clarify why Ernest is waiting outside the Catholic church, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue from Ernest explaining that he's there to pick up Mollie or a brief explanation from Pitts Beaty or one of the other characters explaining that Ernest is late for the service.
  • To clarify why the Hominy Football Team is relevant to the scene, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue from Ernest explaining that the football team is important to Mollie or a brief explanation from Pitts Beaty or one of the other characters explaining that the football team is a significant part of the community.
  • To clarify how the other characters feel about Ernest pursuing a relationship with Mollie, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue from Hale or Byron expressing their opinions.
  • To clarify the significance of Ernest and Mollie's banter, the writer could consider adding a line of dialogue from Ernest or Mollie explaining why they're bantering in this moment.



Scene 7 -  Ernest and Mollie's Proposal and Wedding
31 INT. CAR – DUSK 31

Ernest and Mollie parked out away from Mollie’s house, like
teenagers making out in the back of the car. She puts his
hand on her stomach, looks down at it.

MOLLIE
Your hand looks on my skin...

ERNEST
You’re going to marry me Mollie. I
want you to be my wife.

Will you do that?

They kiss.

HALE (V.O.)
...Can you stand her?

ERNEST (V.O.)
She’s easy to like.



32 SOMEWHERE 32

HALE
Will she be intimate with you when
you need that? Whenever you desire
that?

ERNEST
Yes. She’s... she’s not a nag...
she’s... I love this girl, Mollie,
Uncle, I really do think she’s a
lady...

HALE
You found a wife.
33 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAY – SUMMER 1919 33

A GROUP OF YOUNG OSAGE RUN in a FOOTRACE toward a DECORATED
CAR carrying Mollie dressed in full WEDDING REGALIA. A RUNNER
reaches Mollie first and they all celebrate. CU MOLLIE.

CUT TO:
KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 26.


UNDER AN ARBOR, THE TRADITIONAL OSAGE LEADER BLESSES in OSAGE
the newly married Mollie and Ernest. Witnessed by all of Gray
Horse and Fairfax. An Osage style reception. Extended family
and Kelsie Morrison and Catherine Cole. The BIGHEARTS: GRACE
and JOHN (wearing his traditional roach) and BERTHA and JOE.

A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE holding a BIBLE stands with Bill Hale.
TRADITIONAL OSAGE LEADER crossfades with Bill Hale’s voice:
his own blessing:

HALE
I’ve known Mollie and her sisters
since they were little girls
running around making trouble... I
just want to say on behalf of my
wife Myrtle and my daughter Willie,
I’m just so glad a member of my
family is mixin’ with the great Pah-
soo-oh-leen. Mollie’s dear departed
father, Nah-kah-e-se-y, was my
beloved friend of the heart. He
used to tell the white men to just
call him Jimmy, but I called him by
his proper name...

As Hale’s voice continues, we see -
Genres: ["Romance","Drama"]

Summary Ernest proposes to Mollie in a car at dusk, and their traditional Osage wedding ceremony is witnessed by family and friends, including Bill Hale, the Justice of the Peace, in the summer of 1919. The scene showcases romantic and celebratory tones, with traditional Osage dress and customs.
Strengths
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Romantic atmosphere
Weaknesses

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 9

    The scene effectively conveys the emotions and depth of the characters' relationship. The dialogue is heartfelt and the setting enhances the romantic atmosphere. The scene sets up anticipation for the upcoming wedding.


    Story Content

    Concept: 8

    The concept of two people deeply in love and ready to commit to each other is a timeless and relatable theme. The scene effectively explores the emotions and desires of the characters.

    Plot: 7

    The plot in this scene focuses on the characters' love and impending marriage. It serves as a pivotal moment in their relationship and sets up the next phase of the story.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a marriage proposal and wedding is familiar, the inclusion of Osage culture and customs adds a unique and fresh element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed. The audience can empathize with their love and excitement for their future together.

    Character Changes: 4

    There is minimal character change in this scene. The characters' love and commitment to each other is reinforced.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his love for Mollie and propose marriage. It reflects his desire for a committed relationship and his fear of losing her.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to marry Mollie. It reflects the immediate circumstance of their wedding and the challenge of integrating into the Osage community.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 3

    There is minimal conflict in this scene. The focus is on the characters' love and anticipation for their wedding.

    Opposition: 4

    The opposition in this scene is minimal, as the focus is primarily on the protagonist's declaration of love and the celebration of their marriage. There are no significant obstacles or conflicts that create suspense or tension.

    High Stakes: 4

    The stakes in this scene are relatively low. The focus is on the characters' love and anticipation for their wedding.

    Story Forward: 7

    The scene moves the story forward by establishing the characters' love and commitment to each other before their wedding. It sets up the next phase of the story.

    Unpredictability: 5

    This scene is somewhat predictable as it follows the expected trajectory of a marriage proposal and wedding. However, the inclusion of Osage culture adds a layer of unpredictability and freshness.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 9

    The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly a sense of love and happiness. The audience can feel the characters' excitement and anticipation for their future together.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue is heartfelt and authentic, capturing the characters' emotions and desires. It effectively conveys their love and commitment to each other.

    Engagement: 9

    This scene is engaging because it captures a significant moment in the characters' lives, the dialogue is emotionally charged, and the visual descriptions create a vivid and immersive experience for the reader.

    Pacing: 7

    The pacing of the scene is effective in conveying the emotional intensity of the moment. It allows for pauses and moments of reflection, while also maintaining a sense of forward momentum.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an intimate moment between the protagonist and Mollie, transitions to a conversation with Hale, and concludes with the wedding ceremony.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a strong build-up of tension and anticipation as Ernest waits for Mollie outside the church. However, the scene could benefit from more visual description to help the reader visualize the setting and the characters' emotions. For example, we could describe the weather, the expressions on their faces, and the body language of Ernest and Mollie.
    • The scene then shifts to Ernest and Mollie's home, where they have dinner and engage in a conversation about their families, religion, and Mollie's lack of a husband. The dialogue is friendly and casual, but it could be more dynamic and reveal more about their personalities and backgrounds. For example, Ernest could share more about his upbringing and his reasons for wanting to settle down, and Mollie could express her thoughts and feelings about marriage and independence.
    • The scene also touches on the topic of religion, which could be explored further to add depth and complexity to the characters' relationships. For example, Ernest's lack of church attendance could be explained by his upbringing or his beliefs, and Mollie's curiosity about religion could reveal more about her values and beliefs.
    • The scene ends with Ernest and Mollie sitting quietly together, acknowledging the power of the storm outside. This moment could be more impactful if we had more description of the storm and the characters' emotions. For example, we could describe the sound of the rain, the way the wind is blowing, and the expressions on their faces as they watch the storm.
    • Overall, the scene is warm and intimate, but it could benefit from more visual and emotional detail to make it more engaging and memorable.
    Suggestions
    • Add more visual description to the scene, including the weather, the expressions on the characters' faces, and the body language of Ernest and Mollie.
    • Make the dialogue more dynamic and revealing, with Ernest sharing more about his background and Mollie expressing her thoughts and feelings about marriage and independence.
    • Explore the topic of religion further to add depth and complexity to the characters' relationships.
    • Add more description of the storm and the characters' emotions to make the ending more impactful.



    Scene 8 -  Minnie's Prayer at the Osage Giveaway
    34 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – LATER 34

    Mollie presiding over an Osage “giveaway”. A HORSE decorated
    with blanket is presented to THE TRADITIONAL LEADER as a
    gift. Lizzie straightens up her daughters’ wedding coats and
    An Osage woman takes a photo of wedding party with the LATEST
    CAMERA.

    Band playing (white music) - people dancing - noticeably
    Kelsie.

    Hale’s POV. He goes through the crowd - glad handing like a
    politician – but focused on Minnie who looks weak and Bill.
    He reaches them ignores Bill Smith - there’s tension:

    HALE
    What do you need for, Minnie?

    MINNIE
    No. Sir.

    HALE
    You’re well taken care of? You have
    proper medicines?
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 27.


    MINNIE
    Yes.

    HALE
    Because I want you to know that you
    have the best care if you need... I
    don’t want you to be afraid.

    MINNIE
    (tearing up)

    HALE HALE
    So many troubles. What we’ve So many troubles. What we’ve
    brought on you... I’m brought on you... I’m
    sorry... I hear it in the sorry... Tah-tseh kee eh ah-
    wind, it screams like a woman nahnk-’ohn, wahk’-oh ween
    who has the evil spirit, nahn-xeh hohn-zhee ah-theen
    that’s what you Osage say... tseh eh pahn eh-kohn, that’s
    what you Osage say...

    Hale invokes an Osage prayer for Minnie... All the while,
    freezing out Bill Smith... who looks away.

    HALE (CONT'D) HALE (CONT'D)
    Great Mystery Wah-kohn-dah
    Remove the sickness from her Hoo-heh-kah lah-theen hah
    Remove the evil spirit from theh wah-thah-kshee.
    her Nah-keh hohn-zhee lah theen
    You bless those who are sick hah theh wah-thah-kshee.
    I want you to bless Minnie Hoo-heh-kah than-ka thee-
    Amen thahk’-eh wah-thah-kshee.
    Minnie, thahk-eh thahk-shee
    kohn-brah meen-ksheh
    Kah-sheh-nahn

    Hale’s Prayer continues over the next scene.

    CUT TO



    35 B/W HOMES MOVIES OF OSAGE 35

    FOOTBALL GAME featuring one OSAGE FOOTBALL PLAYER coming at
    us. Hale’s Osage prayer fades away as we hear Mollie’s voice.

    CUT TO:

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    JOHN WHITEHAIR.
    Age 23. No investigation.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 28.


    36 FOOTBALL PLAYER LAID OUT ON A BED DEAD. 36



    37 NEWSREEL FOOTAGE BILL STEPSON FAMOUS OSAGE ROPER, DOING A 37
    ROPING TRICK.

    CUT TO:

    MOLLIE(V.O.)
    BILL STEPSON.
    Age 29, No investigation.



    38 BILL STEPSON LAID OUT DEAD. 38



    39 HOME MOVIES OF ANNA SANFORD, FULL BLOOD, AND HER FAMILY. 39

    Family picnic, kid in stroller, OR other family activity

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    ANNA SANFORD.
    Age 41, No investigation.



    40 ANNA SANFORD LAID OUT DEAD. 40

    CUT TO:



    41 HOME MOVIES OF ROSE LEWIS LAUGHING WITH FRIENDS. 41

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    ROSE LEWIS: Age 25, No
    investigation.



    42 ROSE LEWIS BODY FLOATING IN A MARSH. 42



    43 SARA BUTLER, AGED 21, BEAUTIFUL AND PREGNANT IS SITTING ON 43
    HER FRONT LAWN, PLAYING WITH HER INFANT BABY.

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    And Sara Butler... Age 21...
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 29.


    She is suddenly shot. WHITE MAN comes out of the house, walks
    over to her, places a GUN next to her as if it’s a suicide
    and takes the infant baby inside.

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    ...suicide.

    We see SARA BUTLER’S body on the ground.
    Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

    Summary Mollie presides over an Osage giveaway where a horse is presented to the traditional leader as a gift. Hale, the politician, mingles with the crowd but focuses on Minnie, who looks weak. He assures her that she has the best care and invokes an Osage prayer for her, while ignoring Bill Smith's presence. The scene ends with black and white home movies of deceased Osage people.
    Strengths
    • Powerful emotional impact
    • Compelling concept
    • Strong portrayal of grief and tragedy
    Weaknesses
    • Limited character development in this specific scene

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 9

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional impact of the uninvestigated deaths and the sorrow felt by the characters. The dialogue and prayer add depth to the scene, creating a sense of conflict and tension. The concept of the scene is powerful and thought-provoking, shedding light on a dark chapter in history.


    Story Content

    Concept: 9

    The concept of the scene, which focuses on the uninvestigated deaths in the Osage community, is compelling and thought-provoking. It highlights the injustice faced by the characters and raises important questions about systemic racism and corruption.

    Plot: 8

    The plot of the scene revolves around the aftermath of the uninvestigated deaths and the impact it has on the characters. It effectively conveys the tragedy and sets up the conflict for the rest of the story.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and cultural elements are unique, the overall situation of a protagonist caring for a community member is a familiar one. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 8

    The characters in the scene, particularly Minnie and Hale, evoke empathy and sympathy from the audience. Their emotions and struggles are well-portrayed, adding depth to the scene.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there isn't significant character development in this particular scene, the emotional impact and experiences of the characters set the stage for potential growth and change in the future.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to show care and concern for Minnie, who looks weak. This reflects the protagonist's deeper need to protect and provide for those in his community.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to ensure that Minnie is well taken care of and has proper medicines. This reflects the immediate circumstances of Minnie's health and the challenges she may be facing.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    The scene contains underlying tensions and conflicts, particularly between Hale and Bill Smith. The uninvestigated deaths also create a sense of conflict and injustice.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is strong as there is tension between the protagonist and Bill Smith. The audience is unsure of how this conflict will unfold.

    High Stakes: 9

    The stakes in the scene are high as it deals with the tragic deaths of multiple characters and the injustice faced by the Osage community. The emotional impact and potential consequences create a sense of urgency.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by revealing the extent of the uninvestigated deaths and the impact on the characters. It sets up the conflict and raises questions that will drive the narrative.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is unpredictable because it introduces tensions between characters and hints at potential conflicts and challenges to come. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of these conflicts.

    Philosophical Conflict: 6

    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire to care for his community and the troubles that have been brought upon them. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the responsibility and consequences of their actions.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 9

    The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, regret, and empathy. The portrayal of the characters' grief and the tragic deaths leaves a lasting impact on the audience.

    Dialogue: 7

    The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and tensions between the characters. The prayer delivered by Hale adds a poignant and spiritual element to the scene.

    Engagement: 7

    This scene is engaging because it introduces a cultural event and presents a conflict between characters. The reader is drawn into the protagonist's concern for Minnie and the tensions between the characters.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of dialogue and action. It allows for the development of tension and emotional impact.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the protagonist's goals, and progresses the narrative.


    Critique
    • The scene begins with a clear and concise description of the Osage giveaway, which sets the tone for the entire scene. However, the camera angles and movements during the band's performance and people dancing could be more dynamic to engage the audience visually. Additionally, the dialogue between Hale and Minnie could use some improvement. The lines are too long and repetitive, making it difficult for the actors to deliver them convincingly. It would be better to break them down into shorter, more natural-sounding sentences.
    • More context is needed to understand the tension between Hale and Bill Smith. The audience should be provided with a backstory or a clear reason for their animosity towards each other. Without this information, the scene feels disjointed and confusing.
    • The Hale's prayer for Minnie is a powerful moment, but it could be more impactful if it were accompanied by visuals that enhance its spiritual significance. For example, the camera could pan across the Osage people gathered around, showing their reverence and respect for the prayer. This would help to immerse the audience in the scene and deepen their emotional connection to the characters.
    Suggestions
    • To make the band's performance and people dancing more engaging, the camera could switch between close-ups of the dancers' faces, showing their joy and excitement, and wide shots of the entire crowd, capturing the energy and rhythm of the dance. This would create a dynamic between the individual and the group, highlighting the importance of community and tradition in Osage culture.
    • To resolve the tension between Hale and Bill Smith, a flashback scene could be added that shows the two men in conflict over a specific issue. This would provide the audience with a clear understanding of their animosity towards each other and help to build suspense for the future.
    • To enhance the spiritual significance of Hale's prayer for Minnie, the camera could focus on the Osage people gathered around, showing their reverence and respect for the prayer. This would create a powerful visual metaphor for the interconnectedness between the individual and the community, highlighting the importance of faith and tradition in Osage culture.



    Scene 9 -  Mourning and Conversations at Minnie's Wake
    44 INT. MINNIE’S HOUSE - BEDROOM – DAY – 1 YEAR LATER 44

    MINNIE has died. It’s a year later.

    MOLLIE (V.O.)
    MINNIE, my sister, Wasting illness.
    (I can’t understand.)

    Mollie and her sisters mourning over Minnie who has recently
    died. Lizzie is close by in mourning.

    TIME CUT:
    45 INT. MINNIE’S HOUSE - 45

    Minnie’s wake. Her open casket sits in room off the
    livingroom. She is dressed in her finest Osage traditional
    clothing. A feather sits on her chest. LIZZIE touches her
    hands, her chest, her head, then her own heart and head.

    In the living room, family and friends milling around the
    house. Ernest, his wardrobe completely transformed, dressed
    like a dandy. Bow tie, colorful wardrobe touches, is waiting
    in the living room.

    Bill Smith comes from the kitchen.

    Ernest and Bill Smith look at each other a little, odd,
    tense.

    BILL SMITH
    Ernest would you mind sitting
    outside?

    ERNEST
    Why’s that?

    BILL SMITH
    Because that’s just the way it’s
    going.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 30.


    There’s people around... Ernest gets up and moves to the
    porch.
    46 EXT. MINNIE’S HOUSE 46

    Bill Hale is here with Anna. He slips her a FLASK. She walks
    away. Ernest sits with him.

    HALE
    It shows itself to you that Bill
    Smith didn’t take the care of
    Minnie the way he could have?
    ... To have her sick and die to
    take her headrights and her land?

    ERNEST
    mm.

    HALE
    That should go to her sisters, your
    wife… by rights that should go to
    Mollie.
    ...With these women dying, with how
    Osage suffer from illness… you will
    make it the headrights come to you.
    That is sensible and safe, you see?

    ERNEST
    Yes.

    HALE
    How is Mollie feeling?

    ERNEST
    Alright. She takes care of the
    little one...

    HALE
    That’s the Osage way. They’ll
    tolerate anybody - even whites -
    for their children. That’s their
    riches.

    ERNEST
    She’s sick with diabetes most days,
    you know.

    HALE
    Yes of course she is. It’s just
    waiting on this clock to stop... if
    she’s lucky. If not...
    (MORE)
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 31.

    HALE (CONT'D)
    well suffering is a long, needless
    road... Like it said in Job, “the
    days of affliction have taken hold
    upon her... “ This diabetes is a
    trial to bear... Don’t have to be
    but it is.

    CU. HALE looks at Ernest. Ernest looks back, then away…

    HALE (CONT'D)
    The Mother, Lizzie…



    47 LIZZIE HELPED OUTSIDE BY HER DAUGHTERS TO GET AIR. 47

    Mollie is carrying her first child ELIZABETH. They sit Lizzie
    down make her comfortable. Young Osage help their Elders get
    food, get comfortable.

    HALE (V.O.)
    Most Osage don’t live past 50, she
    won’t last.



    48 BACK TO HALE - 48

    After her... Reta... Anna...
    Then of course, there’s Mollie.

    ERNEST
    Well, Mollie - she’s sick but she’s
    strong, King.

    HALE
    I know she’s strong now, but
    later... Think of our children. Our
    grandchildren...

    CU. ERNEST listens to all this.

    HALE (CONT'D)
    Now Anna - Carries a gun in her
    purse for heaven’s sake, did you
    know that?
    (laughs)
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 32.


    49 INSERT: ANNA, DRUNK, IN TOWN, AT NIGHT, REACHES IN HER 49
    ALLIGATOR PURSE, PULLS OUT A GUN AND IS THREATENING A DRUNK
    WHITE MAN WHO GRABBED HER. SHE FIRES THE GUN ON THE GROUND IN
    FRONT OF HIM.

    HALE
    I love her but - she’s gonna pick a
    fight with the wrong person one
    day, won’t she?



    50 HALE AND ERNEST LETTING THIS SETTLE 50
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary Mollie and her sisters grieve over Minnie's death at her wake. Tension arises between Ernest and Bill Smith, but they avoid confrontation. Ernest moves to the porch to discuss Osage headrights with Bill Hale, who also shares concerns about Anna's behavior. Lizzie is helped outside by her daughters, and Mollie carries their newborn daughter Elizabeth. The scene ends with Hale and Ernest reflecting on their conversation.
    Strengths
    • Effective portrayal of grief and family dynamics
    • Natural dialogue
    • Foreshadowing of conflicts
    Weaknesses
    • Limited exploration of themes
    • Limited character change

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Minnie's death and the tensions within the family. The dialogue and interactions between characters create a sense of unease and foreshadow potential conflicts.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of exploring the aftermath of a death and the impact it has on the family is compelling. The scene introduces conflicts and hints at future plot developments.

    Plot: 7

    The plot in this scene revolves around Minnie's wake and the tensions between characters. It sets up potential conflicts and hints at future events.

    Originality: 9

    This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the Osage community's mourning rituals and the philosophical conflicts surrounding Minnie's death. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 8

    The characters in this scene are well-defined and their emotions and relationships are effectively portrayed. The scene introduces multiple characters and establishes their roles within the story.

    Character Changes: 6

    There is limited character change in this scene, but it sets up potential changes and developments in the future.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the complex emotions surrounding Minnie's death and the implications it has for their family and future.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain composure and navigate the social dynamics of the wake.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    There is a moderate level of conflict in this scene, primarily in the tensions between characters and the foreshadowing of potential conflicts to come.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is moderate, with tensions arising between characters due to their differing perspectives on Minnie's care and the distribution of her assets.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes in this scene are primarily emotional, with concerns for the characters' well-being and potential conflicts to come.

    Story Forward: 7

    The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts and establishing the emotional stakes for the characters.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is somewhat predictable in terms of its overall narrative trajectory, but there are moments of unpredictability in the characters' interactions and the philosophical conflicts that arise.

    Philosophical Conflict: 7

    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene regarding the care and treatment of Minnie. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about responsibility and justice.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 8

    The scene evokes a strong emotional response, particularly in the portrayal of grief and the concerns for the characters' well-being.

    Dialogue: 7

    The dialogue in this scene is natural and reveals information about the characters and their relationships. It effectively conveys the tensions and concerns of the characters.

    Engagement: 8

    This scene is engaging because it explores complex emotions and interpersonal dynamics within the context of a cultural ritual. The reader is drawn into the characters' experiences and their reflections on life and mortality.

    Pacing: 7

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of reflection and emotional resonance to unfold, while also maintaining a sense of forward momentum.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters while maintaining a cohesive narrative.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a voiceover from Mollie, which immediately sets a somber and reflective tone. However, the voiceover is not subtitled, which could make it difficult for viewers who are deaf or hard of hearing to follow. This could be remedied by adding subtitles or closed captions to the voiceover.
    • The scene then cuts to a wake for Minnie, who has recently passed away. The scene is well-paced, but it could benefit from more visual details to help the audience understand the significance of the wake and the mourning process in Osage culture.
    • Ernest and Bill Smith have an odd interaction, but it is not fully explained. The audience is left wondering why Bill Smith is asking Ernest to leave the wake. This could be clarified through dialogue or a flashback to provide more context.
    • Bill Hale's conversation with Ernest about the Osage headrights and the health of the Osage women is interesting, but it could be more detailed. The audience could benefit from a better understanding of the historical and cultural context behind these issues.
    • Anna's behavior is briefly mentioned by Bill Hale, but it is not fully explored. This could be expanded upon in future scenes to provide more insight into Anna's character and her role in the family dynamics.
    • The scene ends with Hale and Ernest letting their conversation settle, but it could benefit from a more definitive conclusion. The audience is left wondering what will happen next, which could be resolved through a clearer resolution or a cliffhanger that sets up the next scene.
    Suggestions
    • Add subtitles or closed captions to the voiceover to make it accessible to all viewers.
    • Include more visual details in the wake scene to help the audience understand the significance of the wake and the mourning process in Osage culture.
    • Provide more context for the odd interaction between Ernest and Bill Smith through dialogue or a flashback.
    • Expand upon Bill Hale's conversation with Ernest about the Osage headrights and the health of the Osage women to provide more historical and cultural context.
    • Explore Anna's behavior in more detail to provide more insight into her character and her role in the family dynamics.



    Scene 10 -  Lizzie's Concern and Aunt Annie's Racism
    51 EXT. OIL FIELD 51

    CHARLES WHITEHORN, (20s OSAGE) wearing distinctive clothing
    IS SHOT. He is dragged away and dumped.
    52 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - DAWN 52

    Mollie and daughter Elizabeth praying at dawn by a creek.

    They walk back to their home... which is now over-run with
    Fancy Cars parked out front, painted various colors --
    53 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - QUIET SPOT - MORNING 53

    Mollie is holding her new baby, JAMES “COWBOY” and blowing
    SMOKE in his ear to soothe an earache. Ernest is with
    Elizabeth. All sitting together. Mollie and Ernest are
    telling an Osage story.

    MOLLIE/ERNEST
    ...Coyote said to Whirlwind,
    ‘That’s a beautiful name, I want to
    marry you.’ And she said, ‘No, I’m
    too young.’ She said, “Well, you’ve
    got a funny face, you got some
    funny looking arms, your tail is
    kind of funny and I really don’t
    want to marry you.’ And Coyote
    said,‘Oh but it would be damaging
    to our reputations if we don’t get
    married.’ And she said, ‘Well,
    okay’.
    (MORE)
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 33.

    MOLLIE/ERNEST (CONT'D)
    Then Coyote tried to grab her and
    she took off and picked him up and
    carried him in the air and took him
    far away... and dropped him.
    “There,’ she said, ‘when I say
    something you will remember what I
    said.’ And she left, and Coyote
    ended up choking on that dust she
    left behind.


    We see the four of them together as a family. Mollie’s voice
    carries over into the next scene.



    54 EXT/INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – SAME MORNING 54

    Byron is asleep on the porch, he gets up - goes in the house.
    Horace comes out of the back bedroom with his two kids. From
    another room we see DUKE BURKHART come out. All getting
    ready for breakfast.

    JAMES “COWBOY”, is carried to a high chair by MARTHA, the
    servant.

    A visiting AUNT ANNIE and UNCLE JIM are there.

    Lizzie, her eyes closed, is on the floor to the side.

    CUT TO:



    55 OWL DREAM (OWL IN THE EMPTY HOUSE?) 55

    OWL in the house.

    CU. LIZZIE - she opens her eyes. She’s looking at all these
    people in her house.

    Mollie comes over to her, in Osage, subtitles:

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    Did you see the Owl? Wah-poh-kah ee-thah-theh?

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    No. hahn-kah-zhee.

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    When you do it’s a sign that Ee-thah-theh thah-hah oh-
    we are dying. peh-nee eh ahn-xee-thah
    ahn-kah-kxah-een.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 34.


    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    We are dying. Ahnts’eh tah ah-pah.

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    Because of you... You all Thee-eh dahn … een shdah-xeen
    marry white men. Our blood is wah-shtsoo-xah-peh. Wah-peen
    getting white. Where’s Anna? ahn-koh-dah-pee ah-kxah
    I want Anna. skah ah-hee-peh. Hoh-wah-
    een-kee Anna? Anna konbrah
    meenk-sheh.

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    I’m here. Sheh meen-ksheh.

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    I don’t want you, I want Thee-eh konbrah mah-zhee
    Anna. meenk-sheh, Anna konbrah
    meenk-sheh.

    The AUNT ANNIE looks at Cowboy and the daughter Elizabeth:

    AUNT ANNIE
    ... huh... This one’s more white
    than that one... You’d hardly know
    this one’s a half-breed would you?
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary In the morning, Mollie and Elizabeth pray by a creek before returning to their home overrun with fancy cars. Mollie soothes her baby's earache while telling an Osage story to Ernest and Elizabeth. Lizzie shares her owl dream and expresses worry about the Osage bloodline being diluted by marrying white men. Aunt Annie makes a prejudiced remark about Cowboy and Elizabeth's mixed heritage, causing tension.
    Strengths
    • Emotional depth of characters
    • Engaging dialogue
    • Exploration of cultural identity
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of significant character change within the scene

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth of the characters and explores important themes of identity and cultural change. The dialogue is engaging and the conflict is palpable.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of the scene, which focuses on the clash between traditional Osage culture and the influence of white society, is well-executed. It provides a thought-provoking exploration of the characters' struggles.

    Plot: 7

    The plot of the scene revolves around the family gathering and the tension between Lizzie and Mollie regarding their differing views on assimilation. It effectively sets up the conflict and foreshadows potential conflicts to come.

    Originality: 9

    This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the clash between Native American culture and white culture. The authentic dialogue and cultural references add freshness to the familiar theme of cultural identity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their cultural background.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly conveyed. The scene provides insight into their relationships and internal conflicts.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there is not significant character change within this scene, it sets up potential character arcs for Lizzie and Mollie as they navigate their conflicting views on assimilation.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her family's cultural identity and resist the influence of white culture. This reflects her deeper need to preserve her heritage and protect her family's identity.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find her daughter Anna. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining family unity and ensuring the safety of her loved ones.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    The conflict between Lizzie and Mollie regarding their differing views on assimilation is evident throughout the scene. It creates tension and drives the emotional impact of the scene.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is moderately strong, as the protagonist faces challenges in maintaining her cultural identity and finding her daughter. The audience is unsure of how these obstacles will be overcome, adding tension and suspense.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes in the scene revolve around the preservation of cultural heritage and the strained relationship between Lizzie and Mollie. While not immediately life-threatening, the emotional impact is significant.

    Story Forward: 7

    The scene provides important context and sets up potential conflicts and character arcs for future scenes. It moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters and their struggles.

    Unpredictability: 7

    This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the fancy cars parked outside the home and the protagonist's revelation about the impact of intermarriage on their cultural identity. These surprises add intrigue and keep the audience guessing about the direction of the story.

    Philosophical Conflict: 9

    The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between preserving cultural identity and assimilating into white culture. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, as she grapples with the impact of intermarriage and the loss of her heritage.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 9

    The scene evokes strong emotions through its exploration of cultural identity and the strained relationship between Lizzie and Mollie. The audience can empathize with the characters' internal conflicts.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' personalities and cultural backgrounds. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Lizzie and Mollie.

    Engagement: 9

    This scene is engaging because it introduces a conflict between cultural identity and assimilation, presents authentic and relatable characters, and creates tension through the protagonist's search for her daughter. The emotional depth and cultural resonance keep the audience invested in the story.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of quiet reflection and dialogue-driven storytelling. The rhythm and flow of the scene maintain the audience's interest and allow for emotional resonance.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, and dialogue are properly formatted, making it easy to read and understand.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters, and presents the conflict and tension through dialogue and action.


    Critique
    • The scene begins with a violent and disturbing image of Charles Whitehorn being shot and dragged away, which sets a dark and ominous tone for what follows. However, the scene then shifts to a quiet and peaceful moment between Mollie, Elizabeth, and Ernest, which feels disconnected from the previous scene. This sudden change in tone and mood could be jarring for the audience and may require some smoothing out in terms of pacing and transition.
    • The Osage story that Mollie and Ernest tell Elizabeth is humorous and lighthearted, but it doesn't seem to have any direct connection to the rest of the scene. It's possible that this story could be used to reveal something important about the characters or their relationships, but it's not immediately clear what that might be.
    • The dialogue between Mollie and Elizabeth is tender and loving, but it's also a bit repetitive and lacks some variety in terms of language and rhythm. This could make it feel a bit stilted or artificial, and it might be worth exploring some different ways to convey the same emotions and ideas.
    • The appearance of Aunt Annie and her racist comment about Cowboy and Elizabeth's mixed heritage is a powerful and disturbing moment, but it's not immediately clear how it fits into the larger narrative of the scene or the film as a whole. It's possible that this moment could be used to explore themes of identity, heritage, and prejudice, but it's not immediately clear how these themes will be developed or resolved.
    • The scene ends with Lizzie's owl dream, which is a haunting and mysterious moment that leaves the audience with a lot of questions. It's possible that this dream could be used to reveal something important about Lizzie's character or her relationship with the other characters, but it's not immediately clear what that might be.
    Suggestions
    • To smooth out the transition between the violent opening and the peaceful middle section, it might be worth exploring some ways to connect these two moments thematically or emotionally. For example, Mollie could have a flashback or a dream that links the violence of the opening scene to the concerns she has about the Osage bloodline in the middle section.
    • To make the Osage story more impactful, it might be worth exploring some ways to connect it to the larger themes and conflicts of the scene and the film as a whole. For example, the story could reveal something important about the characters' relationships or their identities, or it could foreshadow some future conflict.
    • To make the dialogue between Mollie and Elizabeth more engaging and natural, it might be worth exploring some ways to incorporate more descriptive language and sensory details. For example, Mollie could describe the sounds and smells of the creek, or she could use more metaphorical and poetic language to convey her emotions.
    • To make Aunt Annie's racist comment more impactful and meaningful, it might be worth exploring some ways to connect it to the larger themes and conflicts of the scene and the film as a whole. For example, the comment could reveal something important about the characters' attitudes towards race and identity, or it could foreshadow some future conflict.
    • To make Lizzie's owl dream more impactful and meaningful, it might be worth exploring some ways to connect it to the larger themes and conflicts of the scene and the film as a whole. For example, the dream could reveal something important about Lizzie's character or her relationship with the other characters, or it could foreshadow some future conflict.



    Scene 11 -  Anna's Aggressive Visit to Gray Horse Home
    56 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – LATER 56

    An hour later and Anna pulls up in a cab, gets out and is
    clearly very drunk in the middle of the day...

    Ernest, by a well, sees her wobble up to the house...

    ANNA ANNA
    Are you laughing? Ee-thah-xah?

    ERNEST ERNEST
    Not yet... but... Hahn –kah-zhee…ahn-zhee…

    Mollie, from the window of the house, sees Anna and comes
    out... in OSAGE/ENGLISH MIX:

    ANNA ANNA
    I brought blankets for Momma. Hah-xeen toh-eh ee-nahn ah-
    breen ah-tsee-eh.

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    You’re drunk already? Ee-toh, thah-lohn-shtseen
    shtsee- shtahn?
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 35.


    ANNA ANNA
    I’m still drunk from last Hahn tsee tah ah-lohn-breen
    night, you woke me up. shohn ah-theen-heh ahn-shchee-
    xeen peh.

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    Stay outside a little, don’t Kah-txahn ah-shee tah wah-
    let Momma see you this way. spah, ee-nahn theh-kohn ee-
    thee-thah theen-kah.

    ANNA ANNA
    I’m just lay with her, don’t Eh ah-zhahn meen-ksheh. Ahn-
    fuss on me, Mollie… wahn-kee-ah theen-gah, wee-
    deh-zheen
    57 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – THAT MOMENT 57

    They enter and all the Burkharts turn and see the hot-mess of
    Anna. She makes a straight line for Byron…

    Ernest enters the house, watching uncomfortable the whole
    tense interaction that is a mix of Osage/English:

    BYRON
    Hello, Anna. You steady?


    ANNA
    I’m pickled. Do you have any
    whiskey?


    BYRON
    You drank it last night.


    ANNA
    My man can drink my whiskey --


    BYRON
    I’m not your man…

    ANNA
    You maybe don’t have a choice...

    BRYAN BRYAN
    Are you making threats? Keep Kee-dah-keh ee-eh shkah-xeh
    yourself settled down in thah-een-sheh? Keep yourself
    here, Anna, no one wants a settled down in here, Anna,
    mess. Oh’-ee-eh tseh peh kon-thah
    een-keh.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 36.


    ANNA
    You’ll do right.

    ERNEST ERNEST
    You’re making threats, Anna. You’re making threats, Anna.
    Don’t do that. Eh-kee-ohn theen-kah.

    ANNA ANNA
    (to Ernest) (to Ernest)
    You can’t talk - you’re no Ee-eh shtsoo-ts’ah-keh thah-
    different...(to Byron) I’m txahn-sheh – thee-eh kohn-zeh-
    telling you a secret that you kohn thah-txahn-sheh.(to
    don’t know... You think I Byron) I’m telling you a
    open my legs for any man? secret that you don’t know...
    You think I open my legs for
    any man?

    BYRON
    I get that feeling.

    She smacks him, he laughs a little. Ernest jumps in, Mollie
    comes over and ushers her away, it turns messy –

    Aunt Annie watching the whole scene, shaking her head.
    Things settle.

    Byron gets up and moves to get another drink from Martha,
    who’s scared:

    BYRON (CONT'D)
    (whispering to her)
    You’re so pretty. You know me?

    MARTHA
    Yes.

    BYRON
    What do you know?

    Anna comes over and starts throwing punches -- Ernest and
    Mollie attempting to calm things:

    ANNA
    Fuck yourself Byron Burkhart.
    (to Martha)
    You want I’ll cut you, talking to
    my man?

    BYRON
    I’m not your man, I’ll do as I
    please.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 37.


    ANNA
    If I see you with any woman I will
    kill that woman and then I will
    kill you.

    BYRON
    You’ll have to kill me before I
    kill you.

    Anna goes for the gun in her purse. Ernest stops her and
    pushes Byron out of the house --

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    Don’t scream in the house. Tsee tah ho-tahn theen-kah.
    Don’t scream in front of the Zheen-kah-zheen ah-kee-xeh ho-
    children. tahn theen-kah.


    ANNA ANNA
    Stay away from these white Stay away from these white
    women. Stay away from this women. Stay away from this Wa-
    prostitute. co-no-ho(n).

    CUT TO:
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary Anna, drunk and armed, threatens to kill Byron and any woman he's with at Lizzie/Mollie's Gray Horse Home. Ernest stops her from getting her gun and pushes Byron out of the house. Aunt Annie watches the scene, and Anna becomes aggressive with Martha as well. Mollie warns Anna not to scream in front of the children.
    Strengths
    • Intense dialogue
    • Tension and conflict
    • Strong character portrayal
    Weaknesses
    • Limited character development for supporting characters

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively creates tension and conflict through the dialogue and actions of the characters. The confrontation between Anna and Byron is intense and emotionally charged, keeping the audience engaged.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of a drunken confrontation between two characters is not entirely unique, but the scene executes it well by emphasizing the possessive nature of Anna and the defiance of Byron.

    Plot: 7

    The plot of the scene revolves around Anna's drunken state and her confrontational behavior towards Byron. It adds to the overall conflict and tension in the story.

    Originality: 9

    This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of cultural conflict and the use of Osage language. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters of Anna and Byron are well-developed and their personalities shine through their dialogue and actions. Anna is portrayed as possessive and volatile, while Byron is defiant and unyielding.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it further establishes the volatile nature of Anna and the defiant nature of Byron.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert her dominance and protect her relationship with Byron. It reflects her need for control, her fear of losing him, and her desire to maintain her power within the family.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront Byron and assert her authority over him. It reflects the immediate challenge of their strained relationship and the need to establish boundaries.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 9

    The conflict in the scene is high, with Anna threatening violence and Byron standing his ground. The tension and confrontation keep the audience engaged.

    Opposition: 8

    The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist confronts Byron and challenges his authority. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

    High Stakes: 8

    The stakes are high in the scene as Anna threatens violence and the tension between the characters escalates. The outcome of their confrontation could have significant consequences.

    Story Forward: 7

    The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the strained relationship between Anna and Byron and the potential consequences of Anna's possessiveness.

    Unpredictability: 7

    This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how the conflict will escalate or be resolved. The protagonist's actions and threats add an element of unpredictability.

    Philosophical Conflict: 6

    The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between traditional Osage values and the influence of the white culture. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, as she struggles to navigate her identity and maintain her cultural heritage.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 8

    The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly anger and defiance. The audience can feel the intensity of the confrontation between Anna and Byron.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful, effectively conveying the emotions and intentions of the characters. It adds to the tension and conflict in the scene.

    Engagement: 8

    This scene is engaging because it presents a tense and dramatic confrontation between the characters. The conflict and the characters' emotions capture the audience's attention.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and escalating the conflict. The rhythm of the dialogue and the characters' actions maintain the audience's interest.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The dialogue is properly formatted, and the scene descriptions provide clear visuals.

    Structure: 7

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the conflict, and resolves it to some extent.


    Critique
    • The scene starts off with Anna's arrival, which is not immediately clear to the audience. It would be helpful to establish the context of Anna's visit and her relationship with the Burkharts. This could be done through a brief exchange between Mollie and Ernest before Anna arrives.
    • Anna's drunkenness is over-the-top and distracts from the tension between her and Byron. It would be more effective to show her drunkenness in a more subtle way, perhaps through her slurred speech or unsteady movements.
    • The dialogue between Anna and Byron is confusing and hard to follow. It would be clearer to have each character speak in their own language (Osage or English) and have subtitles for the audience to understand.
    • The interaction between Anna and Byron is intense, but it's not clear what Anna's threat is. It would be more effective to have her threat be specific and clear, so the audience understands the gravity of the situation.
    • The scene ends abruptly with Ernest pushing Byron out of the house. It would be more effective to have a resolution to the conflict between Anna and Byron, even if it's not fully resolved.
    Suggestions
    • Establish the context of Anna's visit and her relationship with the Burkharts before she arrives.
    • Show Anna's drunkenness in a more subtle way.
    • Have each character speak in their own language (Osage or English) and have subtitles for the audience to understand.
    • Have Anna's threat be specific and clear.
    • Have a resolution to the conflict between Anna and Byron, even if it's not fully resolved.



    Scene 12 -  The Suspicion of Charlie Whitehorn's Death
    58 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAY 58

    Byron and Ernest outside, quiet moment smoking a cigarette:

    BYRON
    Did you hear they found Charlie
    Whitehorn dead?

    ERNEST
    Ay. Who did that?

    BYRON
    I don’t know.

    ERNEST
    ...his wife?

    BYRON
    Most likely.

    PAUSE, THEN, RE: ANNA.

    BYRON (CONT'D)
    Time for me to take her home now.

    ERNEST
    (nods)
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 38.
    59 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - LIZZIE’S BEDROOM – 59
    LATER

    Anna is sobering up, laying with her mother Lizzie.

    In Osage, subtitles:

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    You’re wild. Dah-eh-thah-leen-zhee thah-
    een-sheh.

    Anna smiles and then there’s a BANG ON THE DOOR.

    ERNEST (OC) ERNEST (OC)
    Anna. Time to leave. Anna, mahn-theen eh-dxahn.

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    You’re my best blessing. Thahk’eh-ahn-kee-theh oh-
    tsee wee-dah neenk-sheh.

    ANNA ANNA
    I’m your favorite? Kee-oh-xtah ahn-shkah-xah-
    peh?

    LIZZIE LIZZIE
    Yes. Stay with me here. Ahn-hain. Theh-kah zhoh-ahn-
    leh wah-spah.

    Ernest bangs again.

    ANNA (IN ENGLISH)
    STOP BANGING.

    CUT TO:
    60 INT./EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - UPSTAIRS – THAT 60
    MOMENT

    Anna comes out and Ernest is there, she gets a little surly.

    ANNA
    Time for me to go, Ernest?

    ERNEST
    Yes.

    ANNA
    You don’t want me here, do you? You
    want to get rid of me, snake. tsk
    tsk. You’re afraid I’ll say too
    much.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 39.


    She wobbles down the steps... Mollie comes to her and they
    have a tender moment, speak Osage, subtitles:

    MOLLIE MOLLIE
    Please go home and sleep, Thah-leh zhahn thah-leen, eh-
    don’t go tsee tah mahn-theen theen-
    out. You’re my wealth... kah. Oh-thoh-xdah we-dah thae-
    sheh

    ANNA ANNA
    Don’t worry little sister. Oak-ka shea-ga inka, wee-day-
    jee.

    MOLLIE
    (to Ernest)
    Get her straight home.
    61 EXT. BYRON’S CAR 61

    Ernest helps Anna into Byron’s car. Byron’s at the wheel.

    ANNA (TO BYRON)
    Let’s go find another drink...

    CU. MOLLIE having come down the path - anxious -

    ERNEST
    (to Mollie) Byron’s got her! He’ll
    get her home.

    Ernest and Mollie go inside. Car pulls away.



    62 MOLLIE’S POV, WIDE SHOT 62

    The car heads to Fairfax.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (V.O.)
    I want to present to the council
    the matter of two murders that have
    occurred within the last few days.



    63 MONTAGE: DAY ANNA’S BODY FOUND: MOLLIE AT DAWN, PRAYING. 63
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 40.


    64 INT/EXT: TERRACE OF BON BON CAFE - DAY 64

    Sheriff comes to find Mollie treating her kids to French
    pastry.



    65 INSERT: MOLLIE IS DRIVEN TO THREE MILE CREEK. 65

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (V.O.)
    The Osage are in terror. There is
    only fear.



    66 EXT: THREE MILE CREEK - DAY 66

    Ernest is here and half the town already.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (V.O.)
    I present this matter to the
    council for consideration -



    MOLLIE’S POV – She walks towards the murder scene, all the
    faces look TOWARD CAMERA at her... She looks down and sees a
    Wooden Box being pulled up from the dry river bed.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (V.O.)
    - and for any action that they may
    see fit to take in the matter...



    67 ERNEST HOLDING MOLLIE LOOKING. ANNA’S BODY ON A MAKESHIFT 67
    TABLE.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    Is that your sister Anna Brown?

    Mollie identifies Anna’s body.



    68 TIME CUT: THEY WATCH THE MAKESHIFT AUTOPSY. HALE COMES OVER 68
    AND CONSOLES HER.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 41.


    69 INSERT: CHARLIE WHITEHORN’S BODY IS FOUND BY SOME OIL WORKERS 69
    DAYS AFTER BEING SHOT.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (V.O.)
    These two members of the tribe,
    Anna Brown and Charles Whitehorn
    have been murdered and were found
    almost at the same time, although
    in different parts of the County.

    CUT TO:
    Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

    Summary Byron and Ernest discuss the possible involvement of Charlie Whitehorn's wife in his death outside Lizzie/Mollie's Gray Horse Home. Meanwhile, Lizzie and Anna share a tender moment in Lizzie's bedroom, and Anna becomes confrontational with Ernest when he tries to get her to leave. Mollie reassures Ernest that Byron will take Anna home.
    Strengths
    • Effective dialogue
    • Establishing tone and atmosphere
    • Introducing mystery and conflict
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of emotional impact
    • Limited exploration of themes

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively establishes the tone and atmosphere of the story, introduces important characters, and raises questions about the murders. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the relationships between the characters. However, the scene could benefit from more emotional impact and higher stakes.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of investigating the murders of Anna Brown and Charles Whitehorn is intriguing and sets up a compelling mystery. However, the scene could have delved deeper into the concept and provided more clues or hints to engage the audience further.

    Plot: 8

    The plot progresses as Anna prepares to leave and the discovery of Anna's body raises the stakes. The scene effectively sets up the central conflict and mystery of the story.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the use of Osage language and cultural elements adds a fresh and unique perspective, the overall situation of a character struggling with addiction and family dynamics is a familiar theme in storytelling.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters are well-developed and their relationships are established through dialogue and actions. The scene showcases the bond between Anna, Lizzie, and Mollie, as well as the tension between Anna and Ernest.

    Character Changes: 7

    There is some character change, particularly in Anna's decision to leave and the discovery of her body. However, more significant character changes could have been explored.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find comfort and reassurance from her mother. This reflects her deeper need for love, support, and a sense of belonging.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to leave her mother's home and go find another drink. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her struggle with addiction and her desire to escape her current situation.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily between Anna and Ernest. The discovery of Anna's body raises the stakes and adds to the conflict.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is moderate. The protagonist faces internal opposition in her struggle with addiction and external opposition in the form of societal challenges and the mystery of the murders.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes are raised with the discovery of Anna's body, but the scene could have heightened the sense of danger and urgency.

    Story Forward: 9

    The scene moves the story forward by introducing the mystery and raising questions about the murders. It sets up the central conflict and establishes the relationships between the characters.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces the mystery of the murders and leaves the audience wondering about the protagonist's choices and future actions.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 6

    The scene lacks a strong emotional impact, but there are moments of tenderness and tension between the characters.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue is natural and reveals the characters' emotions and motivations. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Anna and Ernest, as well as the love and concern between Lizzie and Anna.

    Engagement: 7

    This scene is engaging because it introduces a mystery surrounding the recent murders, creates tension through the protagonist's struggle with addiction, and includes emotional moments between characters.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of quiet reflection with moments of tension and action. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals and conflicts, and sets up the next narrative events.


    Critique
    • The scene between Anna, Ernest, Byron, and Mollie is tense and uncomfortable due to Lizzie's concern about the Osage bloodline getting diluted by marrying white men and Aunt Annie's racist comment about Cowboy and Elizabeth's mixed heritage. This conflict is not fully resolved in this scene, leaving the audience with a sense of unease. Anna's aggressive behavior towards Byron and her accusations towards Ernest also add to the tension. The dialogue between the characters is strong, with Anna and Mollie speaking in Osage and expressing their affection for each other. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. The scene ends with Aunt Annie's racist comment, leaving the audience with a sense of discomfort and uncertainty about the future of the Osage community.
    • The scene between Byron and Ernest discussing Charlie Whitehorn's death is somber and tense. The dialogue between the characters is strong, with Byron and Ernest speculating about who might be responsible for Charlie's death. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help the audience understand the setting and the dynamics between the characters. The scene ends with Ernest helping Anna into Byron's car, leaving the audience with a sense of uncertainty about Anna's safety and well-being.
    • The scene between Mollie, Anna, and Ernest is somber and tense. The dialogue between the characters is strong, with Mollie and Anna speaking in Osage and expressing their affection for each other. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. The scene ends with Ernest helping Anna into Byron's car, leaving the audience with a sense of uncertainty about Anna's safety and well-being.
    • The scene between Byron and Ernest outside Lizzie/Mollie's Gray Horse Home is quiet and introspective. The dialogue between the characters is strong, with Byron and Ernest discussing Charlie Whitehorn's death and speculating about who might be responsible. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help the audience understand the setting and the dynamics between the characters. The scene ends with Ernest helping Anna into Byron's car, leaving the audience with a sense of uncertainty about Anna's safety and well-being.
    • The scene between Anna, Lizzie, and Ernest is tender and emotional. The dialogue between the characters is strong, with Anna and Lizzie speaking in Osage and expressing their affection for each other. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. The scene ends with Ernest helping Anna into Byron's car, leaving the audience with a sense of uncertainty about Anna's safety and well-being.
    Suggestions
    • To improve the scene between Anna, Ernest, Byron, and Mollie, the writer could add more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. For example, the writer could describe the setting in more detail, such as the time of day, the weather, and the location. The writer could also add more action and movement to the scene, such as Anna pacing or Mollie moving around the room. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters more clearly.
    • To improve the scene between Byron and Ernest discussing Charlie Whitehorn's death, the writer could add more visual elements to help the audience understand the setting and the dynamics between the characters. For example, the writer could describe the location of the conversation, such as a specific room or outdoor space. The writer could also add more action and movement to the scene, such as Byron and Ernest pacing or looking around the room. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters more clearly.
    • To improve the scene between Mollie, Anna, and Ernest, the writer could add more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. For example, the writer could describe the location of the conversation, such as a specific room or outdoor space. The writer could also add more action and movement to the scene, such as Anna and Mollie moving around the room or looking at each other intently. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters more clearly.
    • To improve the scene between Byron and Ernest outside Lizzie/Mollie's Gray Horse Home, the writer could add more visual elements to help the audience understand the setting and the dynamics between the characters. For example, the writer could describe the location of the conversation, such as a specific room or outdoor space. The writer could also add more action and movement to the scene, such as Byron and Ernest pacing or looking around the room. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters more clearly.
    • To improve the scene between Anna, Lizzie, and Ernest, the writer could add more visual elements to help the audience understand the dynamics between the characters and the setting. For example, the writer could describe the location of the conversation, such as a specific room or outdoor space. The writer could also add more action and movement to the scene, such as Anna and Lizzie moving around the room or looking at each other intently. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters more clearly.



    Scene 13 -  The Osage Tribe's Emergency Meeting
    70 INT. ROUNDHOUSE - TRIBAL COUNCIL EMERGENCY MEETING – DAY 70

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE (40s, Osage) leads the meeting…

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    The inquest showed that these two
    Indians had been killed days before
    they were found...



    71 CUT TO MOLLIE, LISTENING. 71

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    In the case of Anna Brown funds is
    being raised by the family here on
    the West Side of about $2000 to
    $5000 reward for the arrest and
    conviction of the murderer. Mollie
    Burkart has hired a Private
    Investigator.

    MOLLIE
    Yes.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    We will now hear from Paul Red
    Eagle...

    PAUL RED EAGLE
    The big amounts of money which the
    Osage receive have brought to the
    County a very undesirable class of
    citizens. They are a flock of
    buzzards who steal from us. Some of
    these have married our young women.

    SEE: ERNEST, he looks around.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 42.


    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    I employ some of them. But I don’t
    know if they are really my friends.
    They say they are. Some don’t even
    pretend to work. These people are
    bums - ish-tak-hi - white people -
    common vags.



    72 INSERT: KELSIE MORRISON, BYRON BURKHART, BLACKIE THOMPSON 72
    POSING IN PORTRAIT STUDIO [LIKE THE REFERENCE PHOTO OF YOUNG
    HALE & HIS COWBOY BUDDIES].



    73 BACK TO TRIBAL COUNCIL MEETING - 73

    PAUL RED EAGLE
    We cannot depend on the county or
    state officials. We need your help.
    Each member of the tribe is to
    clean up their homes themselves.

    BILL SMITH, Minnie’s widower, sits down next to RETA, she
    comforts Bill.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    Murder, we’re being murdered by
    these ishtakhi. There are so many
    dead now....

    BILL HALE rises and says:

    BILL HALE
    I’d like to add $1000 to that
    reward for any information about
    these murders. That means if you
    know something about this, you come
    and see me, you all know I’m easy
    to find -

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    Thank you, Mr. Hale. Your
    friendship has always been greatly
    appreciated... I move that we use
    tribal funds to send Mr McBride to
    Washington DC.

    PAUL RED EAGLE
    I second the motion.

    CHIEF
    Is Mr. Barney McBride here?…
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 43.


    BARNEY MCBRIDE
    Yes, Chief, I’m here...

    A man stands up: BARNEY McBRIDE (50s, white) (married to
    Osage) stands up.

    CHIEF BONNICASTLE
    Mr. McBride, good afternoon...
    Resolution 23. Barney McBride will
    travel to Washington D.C. and meet
    with the Indian Affairs Commission
    to ask for investigators and
    additional police in this matter of
    all this death. Do you accept this?

    BARNEY MCBRIDE
    Yes I do.

    CUT TO:

    Mollie and Ernest as the meeting breaks up.

    ERNEST
    That’s going to cost more than your
    annuity payment. The tribe should
    take care of that not you.
    (love...)

    MOLLIE
    Most of it will go to Pitts Beaty’s
    guardian payments otherwise...
    [BEAT] Ernest? You think I’m
    incompetent?

    ERNEST
    No. (love)

    MOLLIE
    We’re going make you my guardian -
    that way it stays in the family.
    Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

    Summary The Osage tribe gathers to address the recent murders of two Indians. They discuss raising funds for a reward, hiring a private investigator, and cleaning up their homes. Bill Hale offers an additional $1000 to the reward. The tribe decides to send Barney McBride to Washington D.C. For assistance. Mollie and Ernest discuss finances and guardianship.
    Strengths
    • Strong character motivations
    • Effective exposition
    • Establishment of central conflict
    Weaknesses
    • Limited character change
    • Some dialogue could be more impactful

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the gravity of the situation and the urgency felt by the characters. It sets up the central conflict and introduces key characters and their motivations.


    Story Content

    Concept: 8

    The concept of investigating the murders and seeking justice for the Osage tribe is compelling and engaging. It raises questions about the role of outsiders and the need for community support.

    Plot: 7

    The plot progresses as the characters discuss the murders, raise funds, and make plans to seek justice. It sets up future events and establishes the stakes for the story.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of discussing murders and raising funds for rewards is not entirely unique, the specific cultural context of the Osage tribe and the challenges they face adds a fresh approach. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality, as they reflect the experiences and concerns of the Osage community.


    Character Development

    Characters: 8

    The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear. Chief Bonnicastle is a strong leader, Mollie Burkart is determined, and Paul Red Eagle is passionate about protecting the tribe.

    Character Changes: 6

    There is limited character change in this scene. However, it sets up potential character arcs as the characters navigate the investigation and seek justice.

    Internal Goal: 7

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated. However, Mollie Burkart's hiring of a private investigator suggests her desire for justice and the resolution of the murders. This reflects her deeper need for closure, safety, and protection for her community.

    External Goal: 8

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to raise funds and offer a reward for the arrest and conviction of the murderer. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing, which include the need for justice and the identification of the killer.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    There is a conflict between the Osage tribe and the outsiders who have brought harm to their community. The characters also face internal conflicts regarding trust and the best course of action.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is strong, as different characters express conflicting viewpoints and concerns. The audience is unsure of how the meeting will go and what actions will be taken. The presence of opposition adds tension and complexity to the scene.

    High Stakes: 8

    The stakes are high as the characters discuss the murders and the need for justice. The safety and well-being of the tribe are at risk.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by establishing the central conflict, introducing key characters, and setting up future events.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is unpredictable because it introduces various characters with different perspectives and motivations. The audience is unsure of the outcome of the meeting and the actions that will be taken to address the murders. The presence of opposition and conflicting viewpoints adds to the unpredictability.

    Philosophical Conflict: 6

    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene. Paul Red Eagle's statement about the undesirable class of citizens brought by the Osage's big amounts of money challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values. It questions the trustworthiness and intentions of non-Osage individuals within the community.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 7

    The scene evokes a sense of concern and urgency. The characters' emotions are palpable as they discuss the murders and their impact on the tribe.

    Dialogue: 7

    The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, concerns, and motivations. It provides necessary exposition and sets up future conflicts.

    Engagement: 8

    This scene is engaging because it presents a crucial meeting where important decisions are made regarding the murders and the safety of the community. The dialogue-driven nature of the scene keeps the audience involved in the characters' discussions and the unfolding events.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and flow. The dialogue exchanges and the progression of the meeting keep the scene moving forward without unnecessary delays or digressions.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions are properly formatted and organized. The scene is easy to read and understand.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear setting and introduces the characters through dialogue and action. The scene progresses with the characters discussing the murders, raising funds, and making decisions. The resolution of the scene is achieved through the acceptance of the resolution and the meeting breaking up.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with Chief Bonnicastle leading the meeting, but it's unclear who else is present besides him. This lack of context makes it difficult for the audience to fully understand the situation and the importance of the meeting.
    • Paul Red Eagle's speech about the negative impact of white people on the Osage tribe is powerful, but it's not clear how his words relate to the recent murders. It would be helpful to have a clearer connection between his speech and the rest of the scene.
    • The insert of Kelsie Morrison, Byron Burkart, and Blackie Thompson posing in a portrait studio feels out of place and doesn't add anything to the scene. It would be better to cut this insert and focus on the meeting itself.
    • The dialogue between Bill Smith and Reta is also distracting and doesn't add anything to the scene. It would be better to cut this dialogue and focus on the discussion about the murders and the resolution to send Barney McBride to Washington D.C.
    • The scene ends with Mollie and Ernest discussing guardianship, but it's not clear why this conversation is happening at this specific moment. It would be helpful to have a clearer reason for this conversation and how it relates to the rest of the scene.
    Suggestions
    • At the beginning of the scene, it would be helpful to have a shot of the meeting room with the other members of the tribe present to provide context and establish the importance of the meeting.
    • After Paul Red Eagle's speech, it would be helpful to have Chief Bonnicastle or another member of the tribe connect his words to the recent murders and explain how they relate to the discussion about raising funds for a reward and hiring a private investigator.
    • The insert of Kelsie Morrison, Byron Burkart, and Blackie Thompson posing in a portrait studio should be cut to focus on the meeting itself.
    • The dialogue between Bill Smith and Reta should be cut to focus on the discussion about the murders and the resolution to send Barney McBride to Washington D.C.
    • Before Mollie and Ernest discuss guardianship, it would be helpful to have a clearer reason for this conversation and how it relates to the rest of the scene. Perhaps Mollie could mention that she's concerned about her ability to manage her finances and assets due to the recent murders and the potential for more violence in the area.



    Scene 14 -  Ernest Argues with Undertaker over Funeral Costs
    74 EXT. FURNITURE STORE/UNDERTAKER – FAIRFAX – DAY 74

    Ernest and Mollie waiting out front. Reta approaches with
    BILL SMITH on her arm.

    ERNEST
    Bill.

    BILL SMITH
    How are you, Ernest?
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 44.


    ERNEST
    You’re here now, huh?

    BILL SMITH
    Reta was a comfort to me when
    Minnie died.
    75 INT. FURNITURE STORE/BACK ROOM UNDERTAKER – DAY 75

    Mollie and Reta are with a CLOSED CASKET holding Anna’s body.

    Ernest in the front of the shop.

    ERNEST
    Hey, listen, leave the jewels be on
    this one.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    (hushed)
    Oh I do it so nobody knows.

    ERNEST
    C’mon, Frank. Just leave it be this
    time.
    (looking at the bill)
    $10 for grave digger gloves, $25
    hearse rental, you’re charging
    Osage prices you think I’m thick?

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    No. (It’s same price for
    everyone.)

    ERNEST
    McAllister’s entire funeral didn’t
    cost more than $300. This is
    $2000.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    McAllister’s girl was a youngster –

    ERNEST
    I’m gonna tell Hale you’re charging
    me Osage prices.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    We can do a wooden box if you’d
    like –
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 45.


    ERNEST
    I don’t want a wooden box, you’re
    charging Osage prices, tell me
    you’re not.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    Your wife even wanted an open
    casket -

    ERNEST
    There’s no face. Why would she want
    it open?
    (reading)
    $25 dollar emblame (sic)
    preparation – you’re stealing our
    money.

    UNDERTAKER TURTON
    It’s not your money - just get more
    money for the bill – doesn’t hurt
    you. I work for my money like the
    good Lord said. Sow and reap,
    Ernest, Sow and reap. Did you ever
    see an Osage work?

    ANGLE, OVER RETA AND MOLLIE, ONTO THE COFFIN HOLDING ANNA’S
    CORPSE.

    CU. THE TWO SISTERS looking down.
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary Ernest clashes with the undertaker over the high price of his wife's funeral, accusing him of charging Osage prices. The undertaker defends himself, stating that he charges the same price for everyone. Meanwhile, Mollie and Reta mourn beside Anna's closed casket.
    Strengths
    • Tense atmosphere
    • Strong conflict
    • Emotional impact
    Weaknesses
    • Limited character change
    • Some dialogue could be more impactful

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and conflict between Ernest and the undertaker, creating a tense and engaging atmosphere.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of the scene, focusing on the financial aspects and disagreements surrounding a funeral, is interesting and relatable.

    Plot: 8

    The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Ernest and the undertaker, driving the tension and emotional impact.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of negotiating funeral expenses is not unique, the specific dialogue and interactions between the characters add authenticity and freshness to the scene. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and true to their motivations.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters, particularly Ernest and the undertaker, are well-developed and their conflicting personalities and motivations add depth to the scene.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there is not significant character change in this scene, it sets up the potential for Ernest to reassess his priorities and confront the financial burden of the funeral.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to negotiate the funeral expenses and ensure that he is not being overcharged. This reflects his fear of being taken advantage of and his desire to protect his family's finances.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to arrange a proper funeral for Anna. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her death and the challenges of dealing with the undertaker's pricing.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 9

    The conflict between Ernest and the undertaker is intense and drives the scene, creating a high level of tension and emotional impact.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is strong as the undertaker presents obstacles and challenges to the protagonist's goal of getting a fair price for the funeral. The audience is unsure of how the negotiation will turn out.

    High Stakes: 8

    The stakes are high as Ernest confronts the undertaker over the exorbitant cost of the funeral, highlighting the financial burden and emotional impact on the characters.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the financial conflict and emotional turmoil surrounding Anna's funeral, setting up potential conflicts and character development.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the negotiation will go and whether the protagonist will be successful in getting a fair price for the funeral. The undertaker's responses add an element of uncertainty.

    Philosophical Conflict: 6

    The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's belief in fair pricing and the undertaker's belief in charging what he believes is fair. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 9

    The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly anger and sadness, as the characters confront the high cost of the funeral and the loss of Anna.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotions of the characters, showcasing their differing perspectives and adding depth to the scene.

    Engagement: 7

    This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the undertaker, creating tension and suspense. The dialogue and actions of the characters keep the audience interested in the outcome of the negotiation.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense as the negotiation unfolds. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with the characters waiting outside the furniture store/undertaker, then moves to the back room where the negotiation takes place. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a clear setting and introduces new characters, but it lacks context about who these people are and their relationships to the main characters. This could confuse the audience and make it difficult to follow the story. To improve this, the writer could provide more backstory or introduce these characters earlier in the script.
    • The dialogue between Ernest and the undertaker is tense and confrontational, but it feels repetitive and lacks any real resolution. The writer could add more depth to the conflict and explore the reasons behind Ernest's anger. This could make the scene more impactful and add more emotional weight to the story.
    • The scene also touches on the theme of money and its role in the Osage community, but it doesn't fully explore this idea. The writer could expand on this theme and provide more insight into the economic struggles faced by the Osage people.
    • The scene ends with Ernest and the undertaker still arguing, which leaves the audience with a sense of unresolved tension. To improve this, the writer could provide a clear resolution to the conflict or set up a new conflict that will carry forward into the next scene.
    • The scene also includes a brief moment with Mollie and Reta looking at Anna's casket, but it doesn't add much to the story and feels like a missed opportunity to explore the emotional impact of Anna's death on the characters. To improve this, the writer could provide more insight into Mollie and Reta's relationship and how Anna's death is affecting them.
    Suggestions
    • To provide more context about the new characters, the writer could include a brief introduction or flashback that explains their relationship to the main characters. This could help the audience understand their motivations and make the scene more engaging.
    • To add more depth to the conflict, the writer could explore the history of the Osage people's relationship with the undertaker and why Ernest is so angry about the cost of the funeral. This could provide more insight into the cultural and economic struggles faced by the Osage community.
    • To expand on the theme of money, the writer could provide more insight into the economic struggles faced by the Osage people and how this is affecting their community. This could provide more context for the conflict between Ernest and the undertaker and make the scene more impactful.
    • To provide a clear resolution to the conflict, the writer could have Ernest and the undertaker come to an agreement or provide a clear reason why the conflict cannot be resolved. This could provide more closure to the scene and make it more satisfying for the audience.
    • To explore the emotional impact of Anna's death on Mollie and Reta, the writer could provide more insight into their relationship and how Anna's death is affecting them. This could provide more emotional weight to the scene and make it more impactful for the audience.



    Scene 15 -  Execution of Anna's Will and Introduction of Private Detective
    76 INT. BIG HILL TRADING COMPANY - SCOTT MATHIS OFFICE - DAY 76

    Mollie & Ernest and Reta & Bill are sitting with SCOTT MATHIS
    (white, 40s) executing Anna’s will. He’s showing them a
    ledger.

    SCOTT MATHIS (V.O.)
    Your sister Anna leaves an estate
    of approximately $100,000... This
    is willed to your mother Lizzie Q
    and you, Mollie, and you, Reta...

    SCOTT MATHIS
    This is Anna’s last annuity. Out of
    respect, in the name of the Big
    Hill Trading Company, Bill Hale has
    waived our fee.

    He hands checks to Bill and Ernest.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 46.


    SCOTT MATHIS (CONT'D)
    (to Ernest) Now that you’re
    Mollie’s guardian, best of luck
    with it, Ernest.
    (to Mollie)
    I heard Tall Chief hired The Emmett
    Miller Minstrel Show to come and
    play his birthday party. You all
    could do that with this gravy
    you’ve got here. Have a party for
    the whole town...

    Scott continues to blather on...

    MOLLIE’s voice is heard:

    MOLLIE (V.O.) MOLLIE (V.O.)
    It doesn’t do to talk to this Nee-kah theh oh-kee-eh oh-kah-
    man. keh-een-keh
    77 EXT. FAIRFAX STREETS – TRAIN DEPOT – DAY 77

    CU. MOLLIE, as she walks through the crowded streets with
    Ernest by her side. He guides her by the arm. CAMERA as her
    POV seeing a never ending collection of WHITE FACES. (note:
    the following voiceover from SUNDOWN by JJ Mathews)

    MOLLIE (V.O.) IN OSAGE MOLLIE (V.O.)
    Evil surrounds my heart. Hohn-zhee thahn-tseh wee-dah
    Many times I cry and this ah-kee-xeh ah-kxah. Ah-xah-
    evil around my heart comes keh shee-nahn kah-thohn hohn-
    out of my eyes, and I say it zhee theh thahn-tseh wee-dah
    is gone, this evil, but again ah-kee-xeh een-shdah wee-dah
    it comes. ee-dahn ah-hoo-eh, koh-eh eh
    theen-keh ep-sheh, hohn-zhee
    I close my heart and keep theh, ahn-zhee shee ah-hoo ah-
    what is good there, but hate pai.
    comes… Thahn-tseh wee-dah ah-pee-
    sahn meen-ksheh koh-eh eh-
    tsee dah-dahn thah-leen kee-
    tseh-theh meen-ksheh, ah-
    zheen ee-see ah-hoo...

    Mollie watching for someone, all the Speculators, Vagabonds,
    Hustlers jumping off the arriving train.

    Ernest amongst them, looking for someone…
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 47.


    MOLLIE (V.O.) MOLLIE (V.O.)
    My heart is cold and I say I Thahn-tseh wee-dah nee-tseh
    ought to kill these white men ah-kxai kah-thohn een-shdah-
    who killed my family. xeen ah-pah tsee-leh wee-dah
    ts’eh-thah-peh, eh ts’eh-ah-
    theh thah-leen ehp-sheh.

    One of the men getting off the train: PRIVATE DETECTIVE
    WILLIAM J. BURNS with mustache walks up:

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Mrs. Burkhart?

    MOLLIE
    Yes.

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Bill Burns. I solve crimes. This
    is my card.

    He hands over his card.

    CU. CARD, lists all these cities:

    WILLIAM J BURNS (CONT'D)
    My address is New York, London,
    Paris, Montreal, Chicago, Los
    Angels, Cairo, Berlin, Boston and
    wherever else a law-abiding citizen
    may find need of men who flush out
    criminals that prey upon those who
    walk straight.
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary Scott Mathis executes Anna's will, leaving her estate to Lizzie Q, Mollie, and Reta. Bill Hale waives the fee for the last annuity. Mollie and Ernest walk through the crowded Fairfax streets, and Mollie watches for someone. Private Detective William J. Burns approaches Mollie and hands her his card.
    Strengths
    • Effective emotional tone
    • Introduction of a new plot element
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of dynamic dialogue
    • Limited character development

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the situation and introduces a new plot element with the private detective. However, it could benefit from more dynamic dialogue and stronger character development.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of revealing the contents of a will and the introduction of a private detective adds intrigue and potential conflict to the story.

    Plot: 7

    The plot progresses as the characters learn about the will and the waived fee. However, there is room for more tension and conflict to drive the scene forward.

    Originality: 2

    The level of originality in this scene is low. It depicts a common scenario of the execution of a will and the distribution of an estate.


    Character Development

    Characters: 6

    The characters are introduced and their relationships are established, but their personalities and motivations could be further developed.

    Character Changes: 5

    There is minimal character change in this scene, as it primarily focuses on exposition and introduction of the private detective.

    Internal Goal: 0

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated.

    External Goal: 8

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to receive the checks from Scott Mathis as part of the execution of Anna's will.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 5

    There is a mild conflict between Mollie's desire to avoid talking to Scott Mathis and her inner turmoil, but it could be heightened for greater impact.

    Opposition: 5

    The opposition in this scene is not strong as the characters are mainly involved in a legal and financial process.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes are moderately high as the characters learn about the inheritance and the potential for conflict with the private detective.

    Story Forward: 7

    The scene moves the story forward by revealing the contents of the will and introducing the private detective, setting up potential future conflicts.

    Unpredictability: 3

    This scene is not very unpredictable as it follows a common scenario of executing a will and distributing an estate.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 7

    The scene evokes a sense of sadness and resentment through Mollie's inner thoughts and the mention of her family's death.

    Dialogue: 5

    The dialogue provides necessary information about the will and the private detective, but lacks depth and distinctiveness.

    Engagement: 6

    This scene is engaging because it involves the distribution of a significant amount of money and the characters' reactions to it.

    Pacing: 7

    The pacing of the scene is effective in conveying the information and progressing the story.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 8

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre.

    Structure: 7

    The structure and formatting of this scene follow the expected format for its genre.


    Critique
    • The scene feels disconnected from the previous and following scenes, as it lacks any clear connection or build-up to the events that follow. It feels more like a series of exposition dumps than a scene with its own purpose or tension.
    • The dialogue between Scott Mathis and the others feels overly formal and stilted, lacking the natural flow and rhythm of real-life conversation. It's also heavy on exposition and legal jargon, which can be confusing for the audience.
    • The scene doesn't do enough to establish the emotional weight of Anna's death or the impact it has on Mollie and the others. It feels more like a perfunctory legal procedure than a scene that explores the characters' grief and mourning.
    • The scene also doesn't do enough to establish the power dynamics between the characters, particularly between Ernest and Mollie. It's unclear why Ernest is now Mollie's guardian, and there's no real conflict or tension between them.
    • The scene also doesn't do enough to establish the historical context of the time and place. It's unclear why Anna's will is being executed by a white man like Scott Mathis, and there's no real exploration of the tensions between the white and Native American communities in the area.
    Suggestions
    • To make the scene more emotionally impactful, consider starting with a scene that shows Anna's death and the immediate aftermath, rather than jumping straight into the legal proceedings. This will give the audience a chance to connect with Anna as a character and understand the impact of her death on Mollie and the others.
    • To establish the power dynamics between Ernest and Mollie, consider exploring their relationship in more detail in previous scenes. This will help the audience understand why Ernest is now Mollie's guardian and what their dynamic is like.
    • To establish the historical context of the time and place, consider incorporating more details about the tensions between the white and Native American communities in the area. This will help the audience understand the political and social climate that Anna and her family were living in.
    • To make the dialogue feel more natural and less formal, consider incorporating more dialogue that feels like real-life conversation, rather than just exposition and legal jargon. This will help the audience connect with the characters and understand their motivations and emotions.
    • To make the scene more tense and impactful, consider introducing a conflict or tension between the characters, such as a disagreement over the will or the distribution of Anna's estate. This will give the audience something to invest in and create a sense of drama and tension.



    Scene 16 -  William J Burns Discusses Anna's Death with Mollie and Ernest
    78 INT. - CAFE 78

    William J Burns talking to Mollie, Ernest is sitting here,
    listening:

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Funny it’s been two weeks and still
    no one from the Sheriff’s
    department has been to Anna’s place
    to corroborate Byron’s story. I
    stopped by - found her alligator
    purse there, though. Which means
    Byron’s not lying - he brought her
    home.

    ERNEST
    My brother’s not a liar.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 48.


    WILLIAM J BURNS
    ...your youngest sister Minnie, who
    died of wasting illness two years
    ago was married to Bill Smith...

    MOLLIE
    Yes.

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    And that is the same Bill Smith
    that is currently married to your
    sister... Reta?

    MOLLIE
    Yes.

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Same Bill Smith?

    Same Bill Smith, two sisters?
    79 EXT. FAIRFAX TOWN – FLASHBACK DAY 79

    BILL and RETA SMITH exiting Sheriff Freas’ office.

    WILLIAM J BURNS (V.O.)
    He’s busy with his own
    investigation into Anna’s death...



    80 BILL AND RETA TALKING TO THE CAB DRIVER THAT DROVE ANNA THE 80
    DAY OF THE MURDER...

    CAB DRIVER
    We didn’t go straight there –

    BILL SMITH
    Where’d you go?

    CAB DRIVER
    Graveyard out past Florers. She
    wanted to look at her land then she
    wanted to visit her Father.
    81 INT. CAB – DAY - FLASHBACK 81

    The cab has pulled over at GRAY HORSE CEMETERY, Anna in the
    backseat. She takes a last drink from the flask Hale gave
    her.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 49.


    ANNA
    I can’t see my Daddy with my hair
    flying…

    She fixes her hair, leans in and says:

    ANNA (CONT'D)
    Did you know I was going to have a
    little baby?

    BOB
    Oh my goodness, no.

    ANNA
    It’s true.

    CUT TO:
    Genres: ["Mystery","Drama"]

    Summary In a cafe, William J Burns reveals to Mollie and Ernest that Anna's husband, Bill Smith, was previously married to Mollie's deceased sister and is currently married to her other sister, Reta. A flashback shows Bill and Reta talking to a cab driver who reveals that Anna visited a graveyard and mentioned being pregnant.
    Strengths
    • Revealing important information
    • Building intrigue
    • Adding depth to characters
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of strong emotional impact
    • Dialogue could be more engaging

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively builds intrigue and adds depth to the story by introducing new information and raising questions.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of uncovering family secrets and potential motives for a murder is intriguing and keeps the audience engaged.

    Plot: 8

    The plot progresses as new information is revealed, adding complexity to the mystery and raising the stakes.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of investigating a death and uncovering secrets is a familiar one, the specific details and character dynamics add some freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and adds to the originality.


    Character Development

    Characters: 7

    The characters' relationships and potential motives are explored, adding depth to their personalities.

    Character Changes: 6

    There is potential for character change as secrets are revealed, but it is not fully explored in this scene.

    Internal Goal: 7

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that William J Burns is trying to uncover the truth about Anna's death and the involvement of Bill Smith. This reflects his deeper need for justice and his desire to protect his community.

    External Goal: 6

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about Anna's death and the whereabouts of Bill Smith. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing in solving the mystery and bringing the truth to light.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 6

    There is some conflict present in the scene, but it could be heightened to increase tension.

    Opposition: 6

    The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong. While there are some obstacles and challenges in uncovering the truth, the audience has a sense that the protagonist will eventually succeed.

    High Stakes: 7

    The stakes are raised as potential motives for Anna's murder are uncovered, adding urgency to the investigation.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by providing new information and raising questions.

    Unpredictability: 7

    This scene is unpredictable because it reveals new information about the characters and their connections, adding layers to the mystery.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 6

    The scene lacks strong emotional impact, but the revelation of secrets adds intrigue.

    Dialogue: 7

    The dialogue effectively conveys information and reveals character dynamics, but could be more engaging.

    Engagement: 8

    This scene is engaging because it introduces new information about the investigation and raises questions about the characters' relationships and motivations.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually revealing new information and maintaining a sense of intrigue.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, and dialogue are properly formatted.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with an interior location, moves to a flashback, and then returns to the present. The dialogue is well-paced and reveals important information.


    Critique
    • The scene starts off strong with William J Burns revealing some new information about Anna's death and the involvement of Bill Smith. However, the dialogue between Burns, Mollie, and Ernest feels a bit too expository and lacks any real tension or conflict. It would be more engaging if Burns' revelations were met with more surprise or skepticism from Mollie and Ernest, rather than just acceptance.
    • The flashback to Bill and Reta talking to the cab driver feels disjointed and unnecessary. It doesn't add much new information and could be cut without affecting the overall plot. If it's kept, it should be integrated more smoothly into the scene and have a clearer connection to the present-day investigation.
    • The dialogue between Bill and Reta in the flashback also feels a bit forced and contrived. It's unclear why they would be discussing Anna's whereabouts with a cab driver, and it doesn't add much to our understanding of the characters or the plot. It would be more effective if we saw Anna's interactions with Bill and Reta directly, rather than relying on secondhand information.
    • The scene also lacks any real visual elements or actions, which makes it feel static and unengaging. There could be more description of the setting and the characters' movements to make the scene more dynamic and immersive.
    • Overall, the scene feels like it's setting up some new plot points without really advancing the story or developing the characters. It would be more effective if these revelations were integrated more smoothly into the plot and if we saw more of the characters' reactions and emotions.
    Suggestions
    • To make the scene more engaging, you could try adding more tension and conflict between Burns, Mollie, and Ernest. Maybe Burns could reveal some new information that challenges Mollie and Ernest's beliefs about Anna's death, or maybe they could have some doubts about Burns' motives or methods.
    • To make the flashback more effective, you could try integrating it more smoothly into the scene. Maybe Burns could bring up Bill and Reta's involvement in Anna's death during his conversation with Mollie and Ernest, and then we could see a flashback of Anna's interactions with them. This would make the flashback feel more connected to the present-day investigation and would give us a better sense of Anna's relationship with her sisters.
    • To make the scene more dynamic and immersive, you could try adding more description of the setting and the characters' movements. Maybe we could see Mollie and Ernest walking through the crowded streets of Fairfax, or maybe we could see Burns pacing back and forth in the cafe as he reveals his new information. This would make the scene feel more alive and would help us better understand the characters' emotions and motivations.



    Scene 17 -  Investigating Anna's Murder
    82 EXT. GRAY HORSE CEMETERY – FLASHBACK 82

    Anna stumbles across the graves. She arrives at her
    FATHER’S HEADSTONE, places some flowers down.
    83 INT. CAFE - CONTINUED 83

    Back to Mollie, Ernest and William J Burns:

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Did you know she was pregnant?

    Mollie doesn’t answer.
    84 INT. POOL HALL – DAY 84

    Flashforward: Ernest plays double agent for Hale.

    ERNEST
    Anna was pregnant...

    CU. HALE - Hale considers this.

    HALE
    He say Byron? Me? [beat] You make
    sure we steer clear of that.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 50.


    85 EXT REX MOVIE THEATER 85

    Bill and Reta visit with the theater manager asking
    questions. People are on line.

    WILLIAM J BURNS (V.O.)
    Smith’s a busy boy talking around
    town…he says he has a pretty good
    idea who killed your sister... says
    he’ll tell all when he has the true
    facts...

    CU. BYRON BURKHART watching Bill Smith’s investigation from
    inside a shop window.
    86 INT. CAFE – CONTINUED 86

    Back to Ernest and Mollie:

    ERNEST
    What’s he found out?

    WILLIAM J BURNS
    Well I just don’t know that part.
    87 INT. POOL HALL – DAY 87

    Hale and Ernest talk quietly in the half empty pool
    hall/barber shop.

    HALE
    What’s he found out?

    ERNEST
    Nothing. I’ll go see Blackie...

    HALE
    ...on that what we talked about...

    ERNEST
    About it, yes.

    HALE
    To see what he may say on that…
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 51.
    88 EXT. GRAY HORSE CEMETERY – NIGHT 88

    AN EXPLOSION. Blackie and another figure behind a gravestone
    run.



    89 OMITTED 89



    A90 EXT. OSAGE CAVES – DAY A90

    Ernest RIDES A HORSE to a CAVE AREA and asks A GROUP OF
    OUTLAWS (6 or 7) where Blackie is.

    CUT TO:
    INT. A CRIMINAL HANGOUT AMIDST CAVES, a spot to stash stolen
    goods and hang out. Ernest and Blackie drink whiskey.

    Ernest is touching the jewels -

    ERNEST
    Disgusting these Osage graves - lot
    of trouble and it’s dirty. You want
    something to pay big? Can’t keep
    doing work with these trouble boys.
    You’ve gotta use your head,
    Blackie, think. Hale was thinking
    we could be partners. Bill Smith -
    he going around talking a lot.
    (Quieter) I mean if someone were to
    knock off Bill Smith and Reta, too,
    all that Estate would go to my
    mother-in-law Lizzie Q... and she
    wills it to my children. That’s a
    good deal, that.

    BLACKIE THOMPSON
    For you.

    ERNEST
    For all. Smith and her gone a lot
    from home and you just go down and
    plant a stand in the house and when
    they come in – get them, they’ve
    got, Reta’s got three or four
    diamonds and some ear screws and
    Bill Smith he’s got rocks. He
    always carries two or three hundred
    in his pocket and you could get
    that...
    (MORE)
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 52.

    ERNEST (CONT'D)
    you can keep that, and I know this
    for sure, Hale would pay you a
    thousand for the job.

    Does that sound like a good one to
    you, Blackie?

    BLACKIE
    ...

    ERNEST
    Now, I been thinking... you know my
    little Buick Roadster - that little
    red one you’ve got your eye on? How
    ‘bout I throw in you take my Buick
    Roadster, it’s insured more than
    it’s worth – I get the insurance
    you get the Buick. But that’s just
    a favor. That’s just between us.
    That’s generous.

    BLACKIE THOMPSON
    God damn you’re a greedy Jew.

    ERNEST
    I just love money! It’s true. It’s
    true. I damn near love it as much
    as I love my wife! I can’t help
    myself once I get thinking on
    things -
    Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

    Summary As the investigation into Anna's murder unfolds, characters share their perspectives in a series of flashbacks and flashforwards. Ernest proposes a deadly plan to Blackie, Anna visits her father's grave, William J Burns questions Mollie about Anna's pregnancy, Hale warns Ernest to stay away, Bill and Reta seek information from the movie theater manager, and an explosion rocks the cemetery. The tone is tense and suspenseful, and the scene ends with Ernest's greedy proposal to Blackie.
    Strengths
    • Tense and suspenseful tone
    • Engaging dialogue
    • Reveals important plot developments
    Weaknesses
    • Limited exploration of themes
    • Character changes not fully realized

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 9

    The scene effectively builds tension and suspense through its dialogue and reveals important plot developments. The dark and sinister tone adds to the overall impact of the scene.


    Story Content

    Concept: 8

    The concept of a criminal conspiracy and the potential for betrayal is intriguing and engaging. The scene effectively explores the motivations and dynamics of the characters involved.

    Plot: 9

    The plot of the scene revolves around the revelation of Anna's pregnancy and the criminal conspiracy involving Ernest, Hale, and Blackie. The scene moves the story forward and introduces new conflicts and stakes.

    Originality: 3

    The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and dialogue are not particularly unique or fresh, and the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is not strongly established.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters in the scene are well-developed and their motivations and relationships are explored. The dialogue reveals their personalities and adds depth to their interactions.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there are hints of potential character changes, they are not fully realized in this scene.

    Internal Goal: 0

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated.

    External Goal: 8

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about the investigation into his sister's murder and potentially plan a crime with Blackie.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 9

    The scene is filled with conflicts, both internal and external. The characters' conflicting motivations and the potential for violence create a high level of tension.

    Opposition: 6

    The opposition in this scene is moderate, with the protagonist facing potential obstacles in his investigation and potential conflicts in his criminal plans.

    High Stakes: 9

    The potential for violence and betrayal, as well as the consequences for the characters involved, create high stakes in the scene.

    Story Forward: 9

    The scene introduces new plot developments and conflicts, moving the story forward and increasing the stakes.

    Unpredictability: 5

    This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces the possibility of a crime being planned, but the outcome is still uncertain.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 8

    The scene evokes a sense of unease and tension, but could further explore the emotional depth of the characters.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. It effectively conveys tension and conflict.

    Engagement: 6

    This scene is engaging because it introduces new information about the investigation and hints at potential conflicts and criminal activities.

    Pacing: 7

    The pacing of the scene is effective in maintaining the reader's interest and building tension through concise dialogue and focused action.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 8

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, capitalization, and punctuation.

    Structure: 7

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


    Critique
    • The scene jumps between flashbacks and flashforwards, which can be disorienting for the audience. It would be more effective to present the flashbacks and flashforwards in a clear and logical order to build suspense and reveal information gradually.
    • The dialogue between Ernest and Blackie is heavy-handed and exposition-heavy. It feels like a list of plot points being delivered rather than a natural conversation between two characters. The dialogue needs to be more subtle and organic to the scene.
    • The scene lacks visual tension and excitement. The explosion at the cemetery is sudden and abrupt, but there is no build-up or foreshadowing to create a sense of danger or urgency. The scene needs more visual elements and actions to create a sense of suspense and mystery.
    • The scene lacks emotional depth and connection to the characters. The audience doesn't feel invested in Anna's story or her relationship with her family. The scene needs more emotional resonance and character development to make the audience care about what happens to Anna and her loved ones.
    • The scene doesn't provide enough context or background information about the characters and their motivations. The audience doesn't understand why Bill Smith is so important to Ernest and why he wants to kill him and Reta. The scene needs more exposition and character development to clarify the relationships and conflicts between the characters.
    Suggestions
    • To improve the pacing and structure of the scene, consider presenting the flashbacks and flashforwards in a linear order, starting with Anna's visit to the graveyard and leading up to the explosion at the cemetery. This will create a clear and logical progression of events and build suspense gradually.
    • To make the dialogue more natural and organic, try to incorporate more subtext and nuance into the conversation between Ernest and Blackie. Instead of delivering exposition, let the characters reveal information through their actions and reactions.
    • To create more visual tension and excitement, consider adding more suspenseful elements to the scene, such as close-ups of the characters' faces, quick cuts between different locations, and ominous music. This will build anticipation and create a sense of danger and urgency.
    • To add more emotional depth and connection to the characters, consider exploring Anna's relationship with her family in more detail. Show us flashbacks of her interactions with her mother, sister, and husband to give us a better understanding of her character and motivations.
    • To clarify the relationships and conflicts between the characters, consider adding more exposition and character development in the scene. Show us how Ernest and Bill Smith came to know each other, what their history is, and why Ernest wants to kill him and Reta.



    Scene 18 -  Mollie's Health Concerns and Blackie's Theft
    90 EXT./INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – NIGHT 90

    CAMERA follows the silhouette of BLACKIE THOMPSON running
    across the front yard of Mollie’s homestead --

    ERNEST, at the bedroom window, looks down on the Buick
    Roadster he’s left in the yard, sees Blackie jump in and
    start it up, drive off –



    91 MOLLIE WAKES UP AT THE SOUND. 91

    Cowboy is sleeping beside her.

    MOLLIE
    What is it?
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 53.


    ERNEST
    Lay still. Just some noise.
    Raccoon... Are you feeling better
    than this morning?

    MOLLIE
    Little.

    ERNEST
    (comforting her) You just need
    sleep, I tell you. You can’t do
    anything without good sleep. That’s
    the first thing.

    MOLLIE
    I don’t sleep anymore...

    ERNEST
    Now. Rest, love...

    MOLLIE
    Where are you?

    ERNEST
    I’m right here.

    MOLLIE
    Are you?... I don’t even know if
    you love me anymore...

    ERNEST
    C’mon now, what do you mean?

    MOLLIE
    You haven’t been here. I need you
    here.

    ERNEST
    I’m right here, Mollie.

    (kissing her)

    ERNEST (CONT'D)
    Wioxda. (I love you.)

    MOLLIE
    Piwithe. (I love you.)

    Ernest caresses Mollie.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 54.
    92 EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY 92

    Ernest’s car and a police car stopped on the side of the
    highway. Blackie is making a run for it in the prairie.
    Police chase him.

    DAVID SHOUN (V.O.)
    They’re calling it ‘insulin.’.



    A93 INSERT: FAMILY PORTRAIT #1 A93

    Mollie, Ernest, Elizabeth and Baby Cowboy posed for a Family
    Portrait.

    CUT TO:
    93 EXT. TRAIN DEPOT – DAY 93

    CAMERA is close on a small wooden box, unloaded from the
    train, amidst all the other big ticket items like people,
    cattle, large heavy boxes of construction supplies being
    unloaded, CAMERA follows this small wooden shipping box
    carried by a YOUNG WHITE MAN.

    DAVID SHOUN (V.O.)
    It’s from Toronto and cost dearly.
    There isn’t more than five people
    that can afford it. It isn’t
    officially for sale yet. But Bill
    Hale has seen to it for you. It’s
    from a cow’s pancreas....



    94 ...HE BRINGS THE BOX INTO FAIRFAX. HE BRINGS THE BOX UP THE 94
    STAIRS INSIDE THE BANK TO THE SECOND FLOOR, PAST THE MASONIC
    HALL AND INTO THE SHOUN BROTHERS DOCTORS OFFICE.
    95 INT. SHOUN’S OFFICE – DAY 95

    Doctors DAVID and JAMES SHOUN (white, 40s). James Shoun is
    handling a BOTTLE OF INSULIN from the small wooden box.
    Ernest is standing next to him, impressed.

    DAVID SHOUN (O.C.)
    It will come down to us once a
    week…
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 55.


    ERNEST
    That’s it, huh?

    Shoun sinking a needle into the bottle.

    JAMES SHOUN
    Diabetes can be...



    96 MOLLIE, LOOKING HEAVIER/SICK, THEIR DAUGHTER ELIZABETH ON THE 96
    FLOOR PLAYING.

    JAMES SHOUN (O.C.)
    Have you eaten in the last hour?

    MOLLIE
    No.

    DAVID SHOUN
    Lift your blouse, please.

    JAMES SHOUN
    Have you had anything to drink?

    MOLLIE
    Goat’s Milk. Hotcakes.

    ERNEST ERNEST
    (in Osage) (in Osage)
    ...And bacon. …wah-shee shkee

    ELIZABETH ELIZABETH
    And taffy! Zah-Nee Skee!

    JAMES SHOUN
    If you don’t stop eating sweets,
    this won’t matter. You will lose
    your feet or worse if you eat like
    a white...

    He gives her the shot. Ernest helps Mollie get her shirt and
    blanket back on.

    JAMES SHOUN (CONT'D)
    That should help you some.

    DAVID SHOUN
    If you’d like we can come to you
    twice weekly for a small fee...

    Ernest helps Mollie.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 56.
    Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

    Summary Ernest discovers Blackie Thompson stealing his car and drives off. Mollie shares her worries about their relationship with Ernest, and the Shoun brothers offer to visit her twice weekly to administer insulin for a fee. The scene ends with Mollie looking unwell and the Shoun brothers' proposal.
    Strengths
    • Emotional depth
    • Authentic dialogue
    • Character development
    Weaknesses
    • Limited exploration of stakes
    • Lack of external conflict

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and longing between the characters, while also introducing a medical condition that adds tension and stakes to their relationship. The dialogue is heartfelt and the scene moves the story forward.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of exploring the emotional connection between characters and introducing a medical condition is interesting and engaging. However, it could benefit from further development and exploration.

    Plot: 8

    The plot of the scene revolves around the emotional conversation between the characters and the introduction of the medical condition. It effectively engages the audience and sets up future conflicts and developments.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and challenges faced by the characters are familiar, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a fresh and realistic touch.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters are well-developed and their emotions and desires are effectively conveyed through the dialogue and actions. The audience can empathize with their struggles and root for their relationship.

    Character Changes: 8

    The scene showcases the emotional changes and vulnerabilities of the characters. Mollie expresses her longing and insecurity, while Ernest reassures and comforts her. Their relationship evolves and deepens.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to feel loved and supported by her partner. This reflects her deeper need for emotional connection and reassurance.

    External Goal: 6

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to receive insulin for her diabetes. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in managing her health condition.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 6

    The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around the characters' emotional struggles and desires. While there is tension introduced with the medical condition, it is not fully explored in this scene.

    Opposition: 3

    The opposition in this scene is not strong. The protagonist's challenges are more internal and emotional rather than external and difficult to overcome.

    High Stakes: 7

    The stakes are raised with the introduction of the medical condition, as it poses a threat to Mollie's health and their relationship. However, the full extent of the stakes is not explored in this scene.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by introducing the medical condition and deepening the emotional connection between the characters. It sets up future conflicts and developments.

    Unpredictability: 4

    This scene is predictable because it focuses more on emotional moments and character development rather than plot twists or unexpected events.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 9

    The scene has a high emotional impact, as the audience can feel the longing, love, and desperation of the characters. It elicits a strong emotional response and creates a connection with the audience.

    Dialogue: 9

    The dialogue is heartfelt and authentic, effectively conveying the emotions and desires of the characters. It adds depth to their relationship and enhances the overall impact of the scene.

    Engagement: 9

    This scene is engaging because it explores the emotional dynamics between the characters and creates a sense of empathy and connection with the audience.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing the emotional moments to breathe and creating a sense of intimacy.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

    Structure: 7

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a lack of context, as the audience is not immediately informed about what led to Blackie Thompson stealing Ernest's car. This could potentially confuse the viewer and hinder their engagement with the scene. To address this, the writer could consider adding a brief flashback or dialogue that explains Blackie's motive and the events that led to the car theft.
    • The dialogue between Ernest and Mollie feels disjointed and lacks emotional depth. The audience is not given enough information about the nature of their relationship, which makes it difficult to understand the source of Mollie's concerns. To improve this, the writer could consider adding more backstory about their relationship and the events that led to Mollie's illness.
    • The scene lacks visual variety and could benefit from more dynamic camera work. The camera is mostly static and focused on the characters' faces, which could make the scene feel repetitive and uninteresting. To address this, the writer could consider adding more visual elements, such as close-ups of the characters' hands or objects in the environment, to add visual interest and variety.
    • The dialogue between Ernest and the Shoun brothers feels rushed and lacks clarity. The audience is not given enough information about the cost and availability of insulin, which makes it difficult to understand the significance of the Shoun brothers' offer. To improve this, the writer could consider adding more dialogue that explains the context and implications of the offer.
    • The scene ends abruptly, without resolving the conflict between Ernest and Blackie Thompson. This could leave the audience feeling unsatisfied and confused about the outcome of the car theft. To address this, the writer could consider adding a resolution to the conflict, either through dialogue or action, to provide closure and resolution to the scene.
    Suggestions
    • To provide context for Blackie Thompson's car theft, the writer could consider adding a brief flashback or dialogue that explains his motive and the events that led to the car theft. This could help the audience understand Blackie's actions and empathize with his situation.
    • To add emotional depth to the dialogue between Ernest and Mollie, the writer could consider adding more backstory about their relationship and the events that led to Mollie's illness. This could help the audience understand the source of Mollie's concerns and the nature of their relationship.
    • To add visual variety to the scene, the writer could consider adding more dynamic camera work, such as close-ups of the characters' hands or objects in the environment. This could help the audience stay engaged and interested in the scene.
    • To clarify the dialogue between Ernest and the Shoun brothers, the writer could consider adding more dialogue that explains the cost and availability of insulin. This could help the audience understand the significance of the Shoun brothers' offer and the implications of using insulin.
    • To provide closure and resolution to the scene, the writer could consider adding a resolution to the conflict between Ernest and Blackie Thompson, either through dialogue or action. This could help the audience feel satisfied and resolved about the outcome of the car theft.



    Scene 19 -  Ernest's Confession and Punishment
    97 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAY 97

    BILL HALE has come unannounced to the house. He honks over
    and over. Ernest looks out the door, Cowboy behind him -
    interrupted their play on the floor. Ernest comes running
    out... notices a mood on Hale... Ernest just gets in the car.
    They drive off.
    98 EXT. FAIRFAX – MASONIC HALL/BANK – DAY 98

    They park the car and get out, Ernest follows Hale… [everyday
    streetlife around them]
    99 INT. MASONIC HALL – BACK ROOM – DAY 99

    Hale and Ernest enter a back room. Byron Burkhart is here,
    waiting for them.

    ERNEST
    Byron...

    BYRON
    Brother...

    Hale takes Ernest by the ear and forces him to kneel.

    HALE
    On your knees.

    Ernest kneeling.

    HALE (CONT'D)
    Did you make a deal with Blackie to
    steal your Red Roadster and cash
    insurance?

    ERNEST
    ...did I... um? Yes, Uncle, I did.

    HALE
    Well Blackie has been arrested for
    stealing your car... What were you
    supposed to do?

    ERNEST
    To feel them out on Bill and Reta.

    HALE
    And you got big ideas?
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 57.


    ERNEST
    Yes.

    HALE
    Now who takes care of Bill Smith
    and his blanket?

    ERNEST
    I don’t know.

    HALE
    Bring it to me, please, Byron.

    Byron walks as directed and gets a paddle hanging on the
    wall. (Masonic type ritual paddle) Byron gives to Hale.

    BYRON
    Hands and knees, brother.

    HALE
    I’m a 32nd degree Mason... I’m
    imbued with confidence, trust and
    responsibility. You don’t have what
    it takes to even walk into this
    hallowed hall. ... You remember
    when you were a child. You behave
    like a child now - you get treated
    like a child.

    Ernest gets paddled by Hale. The first knocks him forward
    into chairs. Byron pulls him back up. Then he gives him four
    good smacks, Hale grabs Ernest by the hair of his head.

    HALE (CONT'D)
    Why are you so thick? Follow like
    your brother and learn. Get up and
    sit there.

    They sit, settle, then:

    HALE (CONT'D)
    You’re to take control of your
    home. Do you understand what I
    mean?

    ERNEST
    Yes I do, King.

    HALE
    Are you challenged to lead your
    house?

    ERNEST
    ...
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 58.


    HALE
    She’s hired a private investigator
    who noses and brings unwanted eyes.

    She got the Tribal Council to pay
    for Barney McBride’s trip to
    Washington.

    She’s a very hard headed woman and
    she’s making things hard on you.

    ERNEST
    I’m sorry... you know she is just
    stubborn.

    HALE
    Ernest, Handsome son. The
    Celestial. We ARE nothing. We’re a
    speck of dust in the universe - not
    even that. What’s going to happen
    to these people. I love them but in
    the turning of the earth they will
    go. Their time is over. It’s
    Destiny. No one has more of a right
    than me. I’ve been here a long
    time. Way before the oil came. Now
    all of a sudden, these people?
    These hustlers, these vags? It’s
    gonna go to them? They get it? Not
    the Osage? Not us?!! They’re taking
    advantage of our rights. Osage have
    their oil rights. We have our
    rights. I own this land. It belongs
    to us. Ernest, there will not be no
    lightning strike and it stops
    happening. It’s going to happen.
    These headrights got to go to
    Mollie. Not to the Mother. Not her
    sister, Reta. Not Bill Smith. Now
    take back control of your house.



    100 NEWSREEL: TULSA MASSACRE 100

    INTERTITLE
    Tulsa in Flames!

    We see Hale, Myrtle and Willie looking at the newsreel.
    Tighter on Hale.
    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 59.
    Genres: ["Drama"]

    Summary Ernest is accused by Bill Hale of making a deal with Blackie to steal his Red Roadster and cash insurance. Forced to admit his guilt, Ernest is paddled by Hale in front of Byron Burkhart. The scene ends with a newsreel of the Tulsa Massacre as Ernest is told to take control of his home.
    Strengths
    • Strong dialogue
    • Intense emotions
    • Effective portrayal of power dynamics
    Weaknesses

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene is well-written and engaging, with strong dialogue and intense emotions. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and conflict between the characters.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of power struggle and manipulation within a family is compelling and well-executed in this scene.

      Plot: 7

      The plot progresses as the characters confront each other and discuss their actions and motivations.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall situation of power struggles within a community is not unique, the specific dynamics and conflicts presented in this scene are fresh and engaging. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their motivations and conflicts are clearly portrayed. The power dynamics between Hale and Ernest are particularly compelling.

      Character Changes: 7

      Ernest experiences a shift in power dynamics and realizes the consequences of his actions.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain control of his home and assert his authority within the community. This reflects his desire for power and respect, as well as his fear of losing his position and influence.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to take back control of his house. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing, which is the interference and opposition from his wife and her family.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between Hale and Ernest is intense and drives the scene. There is a power struggle and emotional confrontation.

      Opposition: 8

      The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance and challenges from his wife and her family. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will unfold and what the outcome will be.

      High Stakes: 8

      The stakes are high as the characters confront each other and the consequences of their actions.

      Story Forward: 8

      The scene reveals important information about the characters' motivations and sets up future conflicts.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected twists and reveals new information that challenges the protagonist's beliefs and expectations.

      Philosophical Conflict: 7

      The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between tradition and progress. The protagonist represents the traditional values and beliefs of the community, while his wife and her family represent the changing times and the desire for equality and justice.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly tension and frustration.

      Dialogue: 9

      The dialogue is strong and effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters. It reveals their motivations and drives the scene forward.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between characters with opposing goals and beliefs. The power dynamics and tension create a sense of anticipation and curiosity.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the location, characters, and conflict, and progresses the narrative by revealing important information and escalating the tension.


      Critique
      • The scene starts abruptly with Bill Hale's sudden appearance at Ernest's house, which could be confusing for the audience. It would be helpful to have a brief establishing shot of Ernest's house before Bill's arrival to provide context.
      • The dialogue between Hale, Ernest, and Byron Burkhart is intense and reveals important information about the characters' motivations and relationships. However, the scene could benefit from more backstory and context to help the audience understand the history between these characters and why they are in this situation.
      • The paddling scene is graphic and violent, which could be disturbing for some viewers. It's unclear why Hale is punishing Ernest in this way, and it could be more effective if there were clearer reasons and consequences for his actions.
      • The scene ends abruptly with a newsreel of the Tulsa Massacre, which could be jarring for the audience. It would be more effective to have a transition between the paddling scene and the newsreel to provide context and connect the two events.
      • The dialogue between Hale, Ernest, and Byron Burkhart touches on themes of power, responsibility, and tradition, which are important to the story. However, the scene could benefit from more dialogue that explores these themes in depth and provides insight into the characters' perspectives.
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding a brief establishing shot of Ernest's house before Bill's arrival to provide context.
      • Provide more backstory and context to help the audience understand the history between these characters and why they are in this situation.
      • Make it clearer why Hale is punishing Ernest in this way and what the consequences of his actions will be.
      • Provide a transition between the paddling scene and the newsreel to provide context and connect the two events.
      • Add more dialogue that explores themes of power, responsibility, and tradition and provides insight into the characters' perspectives.



      Scene 20 -  Henry's Despair and Hale's Dilemma
      101 INT. SHOUN BROTHERS’ OFFICE - DAY 101

      HENRY ROAN is being examined by the two DR SHOUNS.

      JAMES SHOUN
      How you feeling, Henry?

      HENRY ROAN
      Good. Sometimes I feel sad.

      JAMES SHOUN
      That’s not a health issue for us.

      HALE
      He’s fit as a fiddle.

      DAVID SHOUN
      That he is, Bill. So what are you
      going to do... kill this Indian?

      HALE
      Yes I am. No, no, of course not.
      He needs to be insured. It’s just a
      formality.

      HENRY ROAN
      What do I do about my melancholy?

      JAMES SHOUN
      A little whiskey can help that.

      While Henry Roan dresses, SHOUN talks to HALE.

      JAMES SHOUN (CONT'D)
      I don’t know, Bill, this may not
      look very good. It’s hard to
      justify this one, Bill.

      HALE
      He owes me a lot of money.
      102 INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SHOUN BROTHERS’ OFFICE 102

      At the foot of the stairs is a young woman PEARL - a friend
      of Henry’s - waiting.

      HENRY ROAN
      Bill, my guardian won’t give me
      what’s mine.

      HALE
      What do you need?
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 60.


      HENRY ROAN
      I want to buy some moonshine.

      PEARL
      C’mon, Henry, let’s get going.

      They ignore her.

      HALE
      No, Henry. Henry, you don’t need
      that. It’s hurting you.

      HENRY ROAN
      Even the doctor just said I should
      use some.

      HALE
      Don’t mind him, he doesn’t know
      what he’s talking about.

      HENRY ROAN
      Uncle, my wife is on Roy Bunch.

      HALE
      Women are all over you, Henry. Be
      at peace with what you got and
      don’t do anything stupid...

      HENRY ROAN
      I want to hurt myself.

      HALE
      No, no, no – you’re not gonna hurt
      yourself again – that’s not a man’s
      way out –

      HENRY ROAN
      A man gets what’s his. They won’t
      give that to me. A wife’s to give
      respect. I don’t want to be here
      anymore on this place. I’m
      ashamed... I’m ashamed to be an
      Indian. Get me some moonshine or
      get me a gun.

      HALE
      Now Henry you go and enjoy yourself
      with Pearl and don’t do anything
      stupid.


      Henry storms off.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 61.


      HALE (CONT'D)
      (calling after Roan)
      I need you, my friend.
      Genres: ["Drama"]

      Summary Henry Roan, a melancholic patient, visits the Shoun Brothers' office for an examination. The doctors suggest insuring him, but Hale is hesitant due to the potential negative perception. Pearl, a friend of Henry's, waits outside. Henry asks Hale for money to buy moonshine or a gun and threatens to hurt himself. Hale tries to talk him out of it, but Henry storms off, leaving Hale to call after him, saying he needs him.
      Strengths
      • Strong emotional impact
      • Well-developed characters
      • Tension and conflict
      Weaknesses
      • Some dialogue could be more impactful

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively portrays Henry's emotional turmoil and desperation, creating a sense of tension and empathy for the character.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of exploring a character's inner struggles and desire for escape is compelling and relatable.

      Plot: 7

      The plot revolves around Henry's emotional state and his desire for moonshine or a gun, which adds tension and conflict to the scene.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and dialogue are relatively common in screenwriting, the specific circumstances and emotions of the protagonist add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and relatable.


      Character Development

      Characters: 8

      The characters are well-developed, particularly Henry who is portrayed as a troubled and desperate individual.

      Character Changes: 8

      Henry experiences a change in his desperation and desire for escape, which adds depth to his character.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a solution for his melancholy and feelings of sadness. This reflects his deeper need for emotional well-being and his desire to be free from his negative emotions.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to obtain moonshine or a gun. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing, such as his dissatisfaction with his current situation and his desire for escape.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 7

      There is a conflict between Henry's emotional state and his desire for a solution, creating tension in the scene.

      Opposition: 7

      The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are conflicts and challenges presented, they are not insurmountable or highly suspenseful. The audience is left uncertain about the protagonist's choices and actions.

      High Stakes: 7

      The stakes are high for Henry as he contemplates hurting himself and expresses his shame and desire for escape.

      Story Forward: 7

      The scene moves the story forward by revealing Henry's emotional state and his desire for a solution.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected choices and actions from the characters. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will resolve his internal and external conflicts.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 9

      The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly sadness and empathy for Henry's struggles.

      Dialogue: 7

      The dialogue effectively conveys Henry's emotional state and his desperation for a solution to his problems.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist's internal and external goals, creating tension and emotional stakes. The dialogue-driven nature of the scene also keeps the audience invested in the characters' struggles.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and allowing the tension to build gradually. The dialogue exchanges and pauses create a natural flow.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines in a clear and organized manner.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals and conflicts, and concludes with a dramatic moment.


      Critique
      • The scene starts off strong with the examination of Henry Roan by the Shoun brothers, but it quickly shifts to a conversation between Hale and the doctors about insuring Henry. This sudden change in focus may confuse the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene. To improve this, the conversation about insuring Henry could be woven into the examination scene more seamlessly, perhaps with the doctors bringing it up as they examine Henry. This would also give the audience more context about Henry's financial situation and why Hale wants to insure him.
      • The dialogue between Hale and the Shoun brothers feels a bit forced and unnatural. The way they discuss insuring Henry seems too clinical and detached, lacking the emotional weight that such a conversation should have. To make it more impactful, the dialogue could be made more conversational and personal, with the doctors expressing their concerns about Henry's health and Hale explaining his reasons for wanting to insure him. This would add depth to the scene and make the audience more invested in Henry's situation.
      • The scene ends abruptly with Henry storming off, leaving the audience with a sense of unresolved tension. To make the scene more satisfying, Hale could try to persuade Henry to stay and talk things through, perhaps by sharing his own experiences of financial hardship and how he overcame them. This would give the audience a better understanding of Hale's character and his relationship with Henry, and would also provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene.
      • The scene lacks visual elements that could help to enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue. For example, during the conversation about insuring Henry, the camera could focus on Henry's face, showing his anxiety and uncertainty. This would help the audience to empathize with Henry and understand the gravity of his situation. Similarly, during the conversation between Hale and Henry about moonshine and guns, the camera could show the tension and conflict between the two characters, making the audience more invested in their relationship.
      • The scene could also benefit from more context about Henry's financial situation and why he is in debt to Hale. This could be established earlier in the scene, perhaps through a flashback or a conversation with Pearl. This would give the audience a better understanding of Henry's motivations and make the scene more impactful.
      Suggestions
      • To improve the scene, the dialogue between Hale and the Shoun brothers could be made more personal and emotional, with the doctors expressing their concerns about Henry's health and Hale explaining his reasons for wanting to insure him. This would add depth to the scene and make the audience more invested in Henry's situation.
      • The scene could also benefit from more visual elements that could help to enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue. For example, during the conversation about insuring Henry, the camera could focus on Henry's face, showing his anxiety and uncertainty. This would help the audience to empathize with Henry and understand the gravity of his situation.
      • To provide more context about Henry's financial situation and why he is in debt to Hale, a flashback or a conversation with Pearl could be added earlier in the scene. This would give the audience a better understanding of Henry's motivations and make the scene more impactful.
      • To make the scene more satisfying, Hale could try to persuade Henry to stay and talk things through, perhaps by sharing his own experiences of financial hardship and how he overcame them. This would give the audience a better understanding of Hale's character and his relationship with Henry, and would also provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene.
      • To improve the flow of the scene, the conversation about insuring Henry could be woven into the examination scene more seamlessly, perhaps with the doctors bringing it up as they examine Henry. This would also give the audience more context about Henry's financial situation and why Hale wants to insure him.



      Scene 21 -  Mollie's Refusal of Medical Treatment
      103 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME - MOLLIE’S BEDROOM – DAY 103

      CU. MOLLIE, listening to something…

      She is in her back room where she gets her medical
      treatments. She’s alone. We hear something outside the
      room, moving feet, shuffling. The door opens and Ernest
      brings the Shoun Brothers in.

      We see this through Mollie’s eyes. Her steadiness, paranoia,
      watching each move of everyone in the room.

      It’s a silent scene. They get the needle prepared, the
      insulin. Mollie in English/Osage, to Ernest:

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      Not today now. Turn them Hahn-pah theh, eh-kee-mahn
      away. kohn-brah theen-keh.
      Toh-wah-kxah mahn-theen tseh-
      ah.

      ERNEST ERNEST
      What? Dah-dahn?

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      I don’t want it today. Eh kohn-bra mahn-zhee hahn-pa
      theh.

      ERNEST ERNEST
      ...but they’re Doctors. … wah-kahn-dah-kee eh ah-
      kxah..

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      Not today now. Hahn-pah theh, hahn-kah-zhee

      ERNEST ERNEST
      It’s the Shouns, they’re the Shouns eh ah-kxah, wah-kahn-
      doctors. dah-kee eh ah-kxah.

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      Turn them away. Toh-wah-kxah mahn-theen tseh-
      ah.

      CU. ERNEST hesitates, thinks, then:

      ERNEST
      Fellas, can you stand outside for
      me please while I speak to my wife?
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 62.


      They leave. Mollie to Ernest:

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      I don’t like them. I don’t Weh-ah-see eh, weh-ah-nahn-he-
      believe them. mahn-zhee meen-ksheh.



      ERNEST ERNEST
      You can’t be the Doctor. We Thee-eh wah-kahn-dah-kee nee-
      need the shots and insulin. eh shtsoots’-ah-keh.
      What then, Mollie? Insulin oh-weh-peh-tseh ahn-
      kohn-thah ah-kxah-een. Kah-
      thohn hee-ah-nahn, Mollie?

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      I’ll take it from you. I Shtseh-ahn-thah-theh ah-kshee-
      don’t want it from them, turn theh tseh. Kah-tseh wah-kohn-
      them away. bra mahn-zhee, doh-wah-kxah
      mahn-theen tseh-ah.



      104 ERNEST, THINKS, GOES OUTSIDE, FINDS THEM ON THE PORCH. THE 104
      KIDS HAVE FOLLOWED HIM OUTSIDE.

      ERNEST
      So fellas, give me that. I’ll do
      it.

      JAMES SHOUN
      You’re administering the shot?

      ERNEST
      Yes.

      DAVID SHOUN
      Oh Ernest, Bill Hale has entrusted
      us with this care -

      ERNEST
      (interrupting) - I know. I know.
      Just give me that and get going!


      DAVID SHOUN
      We’re still going to have to charge
      you for this visit.

      JAMES SHOUN
      We made the trip out here. Gas,
      time.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 63.


      ERNEST
      You’re going to charge me for this
      robbery? Oh, J Grover Cripes just
      give me that -

      He grabs the INSULIN (BOX), heads back inside the house – the
      kids follow him.



      105 INSIDE: ERNEST SAYS TO MOLLIE… 105

      ERNEST
      You made me send the doctors away.
      The doctors! Are you a doctor? Am I
      a doctor? ...Stupid stubborn bitch
      let those men do their work.

      MOLLIE MOLLIE
      Give it to me. Ahnk’oo-eh.

      Ernest settles and sits down, gets the shot and the insulin
      ready. She lifts her blouse and he gives her the insulin
      shot.

      MOLLIE (CONT'D) MOLLIE (CONT'D)
      We don’t need them. Eh ahn-wah-kohn-thah-pah-zhee

      ERNEST
      So I’m the doctor - and the nurse -
      and God knows what all!

      MOLLIE
      It’s not helping... it’s not good.

      ERNEST
      (holding the vial)
      It’s new. King Hale is gifting you
      with this! Only five people in the
      whole world are getting this. Give
      it a chance. Maybe it’s got to get
      worse before it gets better. Think
      you know everything with your
      Indian ways. You think someone’s
      going to hurt you?

      MOLLIE
      ...

      ERNEST
      You don’t say something to that?
      (caressing her)
      I’m to take care of you, no one
      will hurt you when I’m in front.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 64.
      Genres: ["Drama"]

      Summary In this scene, Mollie refuses medical treatment from the Shoun Brothers and insists on receiving it from Ernest due to her distrust of the doctors. Ernest hesitates but eventually agrees to administer the insulin shot himself, leading to an argument about the effectiveness of the treatment and Mollie's fear of being hurt. The scene ends with the shot being given, but the conflict remains unresolved.
      Strengths
      • Strong character dynamics
      • Tense atmosphere
      • Impactful dialogue
      Weaknesses
      • Pacing could be improved

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and conflict between the characters, creating a tense atmosphere. The dialogue is impactful and reveals the characters' motivations and beliefs. However, there are some areas where the pacing could be improved.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of the scene revolves around the conflict between traditional Native American healing practices and Western medicine. It explores the clash of beliefs and the power dynamics within the relationship.

      Plot: 7

      The plot of the scene focuses on Mollie's refusal to accept medical treatment from the Shoun Brothers and her insistence on Ernest administering it instead. This creates tension and conflict between the characters.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character refusing medical treatment is not entirely unique, the inclusion of cultural and philosophical conflicts adds freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their conflicting beliefs and emotions are effectively portrayed. Mollie is shown as stubborn and resistant to Western medicine, while Ernest is torn between his loyalty to Mollie and his belief in the doctors' expertise.

      Character Changes: 7

      While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it highlights the ongoing conflict and tension between Mollie and Ernest, which may lead to character development in future scenes.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert her independence and control over her medical treatment. This reflects her deeper need for autonomy and her fear of being dependent on others.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to refuse the medical treatment from the Shoun Brothers. This reflects the immediate challenge of asserting her autonomy and making her own decisions about her health.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external. There is conflict between Mollie and Ernest, as well as conflict between their beliefs and the doctors' expertise.

      Opposition: 8

      The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is actively resisting the doctors' presence and asserting her autonomy. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

      High Stakes: 8

      The stakes are high in this scene as Mollie's refusal to accept medical treatment could have serious consequences for her health. The conflict between the characters adds to the sense of urgency.

      Story Forward: 7

      The scene provides insight into the characters' beliefs and motivations, deepening the conflict and tension. It sets up potential future conflicts and character development.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because the audience does not know how the protagonist will ultimately respond to the doctors' presence. There is a sense of uncertainty and tension.

      Philosophical Conflict: 9

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between traditional Native American healing practices and Western medicine. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, as she prefers her own methods of treatment over those of the doctors.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 8

      The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly frustration, anger, and fear. The audience can feel the tension and conflict between the characters.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue is impactful and reveals the characters' motivations and emotions. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Mollie and Ernest.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the doctors, creating tension and suspense. The dialogue and character emotions draw the audience in.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and suspense. The dialogue and character interactions are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by character actions and dialogue. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


      Critique
      • The scene starts with a lack of context, as we don't know who Henry Roan is or why he's being examined by the Shoun Brothers. This could confuse the audience and make it difficult for them to follow the story. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a brief introduction or explanation earlier in the script to establish who Henry Roan is and why he's seeking medical treatment.
      • The dialogue between Henry Roan and the Shoun Brothers feels forced and unnatural. The lines lack authenticity and could be improved by making them more conversational and realistic. The writer could consider doing some research on medical terminology and how doctors and patients interact to make the dialogue more believable.
      • The scene lacks visual elements to engage the audience. There are no significant actions or movements that could help to break up the dialogue and make the scene more dynamic. To improve this, the writer could consider adding some visual cues, such as Henry Roan's body language or the Shoun Brothers' facial expressions, to make the scene more visually interesting.
      • The scene ends abruptly with Henry Roan storming off, leaving the audience with unresolved conflicts. This could leave them feeling unsatisfied and confused about what happens next. To improve this, the writer could consider adding a follow-up scene to resolve the conflicts and provide closure to the audience.
      • The scene lacks tension and conflict, which could make it difficult for the audience to become invested in the story. To improve this, the writer could consider adding some conflicts or tensions between the characters, such as Henry Roan's distrust of the Shoun Brothers or his fear of being hurt, to make the scene more engaging and exciting.
      Suggestions
      • To improve the scene, the writer could consider adding a brief introduction or explanation earlier in the script to establish who Henry Roan is and why he's seeking medical treatment. This could help to provide context and make it easier for the audience to follow the story.
      • To make the dialogue between Henry Roan and the Shoun Brothers more believable, the writer could consider doing some research on medical terminology and how doctors and patients interact. This could help to make the dialogue more authentic and realistic.
      • To make the scene more visually interesting, the writer could consider adding some visual cues, such as Henry Roan's body language or the Shoun Brothers' facial expressions. This could help to break up the dialogue and make the scene more dynamic.
      • To provide closure to the audience, the writer could consider adding a follow-up scene to resolve the conflicts and provide closure. This could help to leave the audience feeling satisfied and engaged with the story.
      • To make the scene more engaging and exciting, the writer could consider adding some conflicts or tensions between the characters, such as Henry Roan's distrust of the Shoun Brothers or his fear of being hurt. This could help to provide tension and conflict, which could make the scene more exciting and engaging for the audience.



      Scene 22 -  Henry's Outbursts
      106 INT. ROY BUNCH BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 106

      Roan attacking ROY BUNCH (white, grinding sausage) with a
      club across the back of his head.

      HENRY ROAN
      Get off my wife!

      MARY ROAN, Henry’s wife, comes in and separates them.

      ROY BUNCH
      I’ve done nothing to you!
      107 INT. BANK/FAIRFAX - DAY 107

      Bank doors open and BANK MANAGER let’s in Bill & Ernest –
      Pearl is right there with the Bank Manager.

      BANK MANAGER
      There he is - right over there...

      Pearl follows Hale and Ernest.

      HENRY ROAN (O.C.)
      I’m tired of asking friends for
      things when I can pay my own way.

      Henry is standing shouting at a BANK EMPLOYEE.

      HENRY ROAN (CONT'D)
      Who tells you how to spend your
      money? I’m tired of coming in here
      begging. (cursing) Oh-shkee-kah
      thah-ee(n)-sheh!

      Hale gets him.

      HALE
      Ee-aahh, Henry! Thi-shdan, Henry! I
      told you not to do anything stupid!
      You went and hit Roy Bunch!

      HENRY ROAN
      I knocked him down, Reverend Hale,
      I knocked him.

      HALE
      Calm down, thoo-shtaka. Come on,
      kyu. On-ga-the-tse. Let’s get out
      of here.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 65.


      Hale and Ernest help an almost collapsing Roan - Hale hands
      Roan to Ernest and Pearl who take him toward the door. Hale
      turns and admonishes everyone in the bank -

      HALE (CONT'D)
      WHO IS LETTING THIS MAN DOWN IN A
      TIME OF NEED? ‘LEST WE LOOK THE
      OTHER WAY FROM A MAN IN DESPERATE
      TIMES??? SHAME ON US.
      108 INT. HALE RANCH/LIVING ROOM – MOMENTS LATER 108

      Hale and Ernest lay Roan on the floor.

      ERNEST
      Why do you take care of him?

      HALE
      He’s a melancholic. Do you know he
      tried to do away with himself last
      year?

      They lay him out on the floor, catch their breath.

      ERNEST
      (nods, yes)

      HALE
      I take care of that man because
      he’s my best friend and my
      neighbor. And that’s $25,000
      dollars lying there. I’ve got an
      insurance policy on him against
      what he owes me. If he succeeds in
      demising himself before the end of
      the year I forfeit. He needs to
      stay alive at least one more
      year... And I might even have a
      chance at his headrights...

      CUT TO:



      109 ERNEST & HALE SITTING IN THE NEXT ROOM. HAVING A DRINK. 109

      HALE
      Something you should know...
      Mollie’s first husband is that man
      right there on the floor. She
      didn’t tell you?
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 66.


      ERNEST
      No.

      HALE
      Osage don’t divorce.


      ERNEST
      So she’s still married to him?

      HALE
      No. No. Traditional. They were
      fifteen. But it’s all passed now.

      ERNEST
      She lied to me?

      HALE
      How does she treat you?

      ERNEST
      She’s a good one.

      HALE
      So it doesn’t matter what happened
      before...

      ERNEST
      She can’t be lying to me.

      HALE
      Let her have her secrets. That way
      you can have yours.
      Genres: ["Drama"]

      Summary Henry's violent outbursts lead to a confrontation with Roy Bunch in his butcher shop, followed by an argument with a bank employee. Hale and Ernest intervene and take a near-collapsed Henry to Hale's ranch, where Hale reveals that Mollie's first husband is Henry. Ernest is upset that Mollie kept this secret from him, but Hale advises him to let her have her privacy.
      Strengths
      • Intense emotions
      • Powerful dialogue
      • Revealing character relationships
      Weaknesses
      • Limited physical description
      • Lack of visual cues

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene effectively conveys intense emotions and conflicts, revealing important information about the characters and their motivations. The dialogue is impactful and the overall tone creates a sense of urgency and tension.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of hidden secrets and past relationships adds depth to the story and creates intrigue. The scene also introduces the idea of the protagonist's insurance policy on the antagonist, which adds an interesting twist.

      Plot: 9

      The plot progresses significantly in this scene as the protagonist confronts the antagonist and reveals his frustrations. The revelation about Mollie's first husband adds a layer of complexity to the story.

      Originality: 7

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the small town setting and the protagonist's struggle for independence are familiar elements, the inclusion of Osage language and customs adds a unique cultural perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality of the scene.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed. The scene deepens the audience's understanding of their relationships and inner conflicts.

      Character Changes: 8

      Henry undergoes a change in this scene as he stands up for himself and confronts Roy Bunch. His determination and refusal to beg for help demonstrate his growth and newfound independence.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his independence and self-sufficiency. He is tired of relying on others and wants to be able to pay his own way. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and his fear of being dependent on others.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront the bank employee and express his frustration with having to beg for things. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his financial struggles and the challenge he faces in trying to assert his independence.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between Henry and Roy Bunch is intense and physical, while the conflict within Henry himself is also evident. The scene creates a sense of tension and urgency.

      Opposition: 8

      The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance from Roy Bunch in the butcher shop and confronts the bank employee in the bank. The audience is unsure of how these conflicts will be resolved, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

      High Stakes: 8

      The stakes are high in this scene as Henry confronts Roy Bunch and risks his reputation and relationships. The revelation about Mollie's first husband adds further complexity to the stakes.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing important information about the characters and their relationships. It also sets up future conflicts and developments.

      Unpredictability: 6

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the protagonist's violent outburst in the butcher shop and the revelation about Mollie's first husband. These surprises challenge the audience's expectations and add complexity to the narrative.

      Philosophical Conflict: 6

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in self-sufficiency and the societal expectation of relying on others for help. This challenges his values and worldview, as he questions the role of community support in his life.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 10

      The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, particularly anger, sadness, and determination. The intense confrontations and revelations heighten the emotional impact.

      Dialogue: 10

      The dialogue is powerful and impactful, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and conflicts. The use of Osage language adds authenticity and cultural richness to the scene.

      Engagement: 8

      This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist's desire for independence and the societal expectations of community support. The emotional intensity and the use of Osage language and customs add depth and intrigue to the scene.

      Pacing: 9

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and flow. The action sequences are well-timed and the dialogue exchanges have a natural pace. This keeps the audience engaged and invested in the scene.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions are properly formatted and easy to read. The scene is well-organized and visually clear.

      Structure: 9

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an action and dialogue sequence in the butcher shop, transitions to the bank scene, and concludes with a conversation in the living room. The scene transitions are clear and the pacing is well-maintained.


      Critique
      • The scene starts with a clear conflict between Henry Roan and Roy Bunch, but it's unclear what led to the attack. It would be helpful to have some context or backstory to understand why Henry is so angry with Roy. This lack of context also makes it difficult to fully invest in the conflict and care about the outcome.
      • The dialogue between Henry and the bank employee is overly aggressive and doesn't add much to the scene. It feels like it's there just to create tension, but it doesn't reveal anything new about Henry's character or the conflict at hand. It would be more effective to have a conversation that sheds light on Henry's financial situation and why he's so desperate.
      • The scene with Henry at the bank could also benefit from more visual elements. We don't see what Henry is doing or how he's behaving, which makes it hard to fully understand his actions and motivations.
      • The scene with Ernest and Hale at the ranch is interesting, but it feels like it's introducing a new conflict (Henry's insurance policy) without fully resolving the previous one (Henry's attack on Roy Bunch). It would be more effective to have a clear resolution to the conflict with Roy Bunch before introducing the new one with Henry's insurance policy.
      • The revelation that Mollie was married to Henry before is a major plot twist, but it's introduced very abruptly and without much context. It would be more effective to have a conversation between Ernest and Mollie that gradually reveals this information and allows the audience to fully understand the implications of it.
      Suggestions
      • To address the lack of context for Henry's attack on Roy Bunch, you could consider adding a scene that shows Henry and Roy interacting before the attack. This could help the audience understand why Henry is so angry with Roy and make the attack more impactful.
      • To make the scene with Henry at the bank more effective, you could consider having a conversation between Henry and the bank employee that reveals the financial situation that's causing Henry's desperation. This could also help to establish the stakes of the conflict and make the audience care more about the outcome.
      • To address the lack of visual elements in the scene with Henry at the bank, you could consider adding some camera movements or close-ups to show Henry's behavior and reactions. This could help the audience understand his actions and motivations more clearly.
      • To address the introduction of the new conflict with Henry's insurance policy, you could consider having a conversation between Hale and Ernest that explains the implications of the policy and why it's important. This could also help to establish the stakes of the new conflict and make the audience care more about it.
      • To address the abrupt introduction of the revelation that Mollie was married to Henry before, you could consider having a conversation between Ernest and Mollie that gradually reveals this information. This could also help to establish the implications of the revelation and allow the audience to fully understand it.



      Scene 23 -  Lizzie's Passing
      110 INT. SUMMER HOUSE - LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAY 110

      Mollie is sitting with her mother, Lizzie, who has had a bed
      set up on the floor of the summer house. Mollie is COMBING
      her hair as she gets closer to death... Reta comes in...
      Elizabeth and Cowboy are there, too. At a distance the Shouns
      are lurking putting away their medical things (figures
      turning away).

      Lizzie dies. Eyes open, still. Mollie/Reta watching her.

      CUT TO:
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 67.
      111 INT. SUMMER HOUSE - WITH ANCESTORS 111

      Empty except for LIZZIE’S ANCESTORS: WARRIOR, MOTHER, FATHER:
      the Committee that has come to take her to the heavens.
      Lizzie gets up and walks away with them. She glances back.

      BACK TO Summer House in the Present. Hale and Ernest comfort
      Mollie and the children.



      A112 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE'S GRAY HORSE HOME - EARLY MORNING A112

      Mollie, Reta and WAILING RELATIVE wail for Lizzie on the
      porch.
      112 EXT. GRAY HORSE CEMETERY – DAY 112

      Lizzie Q’s Burial. A large crowd gathered at the gravesite.
      PRIEST stands aside as the TRADITIONAL OSAGE LEADER makes a
      blessing.

      TRADITIONAL LEADER (IN OSAGE) TRADITIONAL LEADER
      It is mid-day, when the sun, Meen thoh-dahn kah-txahn he
      our Grandfather has reached thah-hah we-tsee-koh meen ah-
      its highest place in the sky, kxah mahn-xeh kshee-dah oo-
      the gates of heaven have stseh-tseh he ah-kxah, kah-
      opened for the soul to pass kohn nahn-xeh theh-tseh mahn-
      through. The gateway to the xeh mah-she dah ah-theh dah-
      next world. As the sun moves tseh. Meen thahn mahn-hah
      west, the path we travel is kshee-dah-hah mahn-theen ah-
      cleared for our journey. Food ha oh-zhan-keh ahn-koh-dah-
      is a blessing. Now let us go pee kah-shdah da pee. Oh-nohn-
      to gather and partake in that breh tseh weh-thoo-thah-
      blessing as Lizzie enters the gtheen tseh ahn-thah-tseh ahn-
      next world and joins those kah-theh dye. Eh-dahn Lizzie
      that are waiting for her. ah-pah nahn mahn-zhahn ee-
      mahn-tseh kshee-dah-hah mahn-
      theen ah-hah mohn-psheh ah-
      pah ah-thee-zahn-ha dah- ah-
      pah.

      TRADITIONAL LEADER ends his blessing and walks over to the
      family. He helps Elizabeth WALK ACROSS LIZZIE’S CASKET.
      ERNEST, HALE, BYRON among mourners. A BOX OF FOOD is placed
      at the head of the casket and it’s lowered.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 68.


      A113 INT. MASONIC HALL LODGE - NIGHT A113

      Hale and SIX OF HIS FREEMASON BROTHERS at a Scottish Rite
      ritual of EXTINGUISHING THE TAPERS. The seven men, dressed in
      black suits, are standing behind TALL CANDLE HOLDERS with
      CANDLES WITH FLAMES AT CHEST HEIGHT. There is no other light
      in the room. The candles are in a “V” formation, with the “V”
      pointing to the East Side of the room. Two candles are
      already out.

      TREASURER (PITTS BEATY)
      His pure and lofty lessons were
      intended to insure the happiness of
      mankind; but those whom he would
      fain have served knew him not, and
      put him to death.

      TREASURER takes his finger and extinguishes the third light.
      Genres: ["Drama"]

      Summary Mollie combs Lizzie's hair as she dies in the presence of Reta, Elizabeth, and Cowboy. Lizzie's ancestors arrive to take her to the heavens, and mourning ensues on the porch. Lizzie is buried in a traditional Osage ceremony, and Hale and his Freemason brothers participate in a Scottish Rite ritual of extinguishing the tapers.
      Strengths
      • Emotional depth
      • Poignant dialogue
      • Exploration of spirituality
      Weaknesses
      • Limited external conflict
      • Lack of major plot developments

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Lizzie's death and the impact it has on the characters. The dialogue and actions are poignant and evoke a strong emotional response from the audience.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of exploring the journey of a character's soul after death and the presence of ancestors adds depth and spiritual elements to the story. It enhances the overall narrative and provides a unique perspective on the afterlife.

      Plot: 8

      The plot revolves around Lizzie's death and the subsequent mourning and burial rituals. It effectively portrays the emotional journey of the characters and advances the overall story.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character's death and the subsequent funeral rituals are familiar, the inclusion of Lizzie's ancestors and their role in taking her to the heavens adds a unique cultural element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the scene's originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters' grief and love for Lizzie are palpable in their actions and dialogue. Their emotions are well-developed and relatable, creating a strong connection with the audience.

      Character Changes: 7

      The characters experience a significant change in their emotional state and perspective due to Lizzie's death. They are forced to confront their own mortality and reevaluate their relationships.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the impending death of her mother, Lizzie. It reflects her deeper need for closure, her fear of losing her mother, and her desire to find comfort and support from her family.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to participate in the funeral rituals and find solace in the presence of her family and friends. It reflects the immediate circumstances of Lizzie's death and the challenge of coping with grief.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 4

      The scene focuses more on emotional and internal conflicts rather than external conflicts. The conflict arises from the characters' grief and their struggle to come to terms with Lizzie's death.

      Opposition: 3

      The opposition in this scene is minimal, as the focus is on the protagonist's internal and external goals related to grief and mourning. There are no significant obstacles or conflicts that the protagonist needs to overcome.

      High Stakes: 5

      The stakes in this scene are primarily emotional and personal. The characters are grappling with the loss of a loved one and the existential questions raised by death.

      Story Forward: 6

      The scene primarily focuses on the emotional aftermath of Lizzie's death and the mourning rituals. While it doesn't introduce major plot developments, it deepens the characters' arcs and explores important themes.

      Unpredictability: 4

      This scene is predictable because it follows the expected trajectory of a funeral scene, with the protagonist experiencing grief and finding support from her family.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 10

      The scene has a high emotional impact due to the portrayal of grief, loss, and the farewell of a loved one. It elicits strong emotions from the audience and creates a memorable and poignant moment.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue is heartfelt and conveys the characters' emotions and thoughts effectively. It captures the solemnity of the situation and provides insight into their relationships and beliefs.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it explores the emotional journey of the protagonist and the rituals surrounding death and grief. The reader is drawn into the characters' experiences and their relationships with each other.

      Pacing: 7

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing the reader to experience the emotional moments and rituals in a deliberate and contemplative manner. It creates a sense of solemnity and reflection.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue in a clear and organized manner.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with the setting and characters, progresses through the emotional moments and rituals, and ends with a transition to the next scene.


      Critique
      • The scene is emotionally tense and confrontational, but it lacks clear conflict resolution. Ernest's hesitation to ask the doctors to wait outside and his eventual agreement to administer the insulin himself could have been more impactful if we saw a change in Mollie's behavior or attitude towards Ernest. Without this, the scene feels like it's leading up to a resolution but doesn't quite get there.
      • The visual element of Mollie's bedroom is underutilized. We could see more of the medical equipment and the doctors' interactions with Mollie to better understand the context of the scene. This would also help to establish the doctors' characters and motivations.
      • The dialogue between Mollie and Ernest could be more revealing about their relationship and the reasons behind Mollie's distrust of the doctors. We need to understand why Mollie is so paranoid and what her history with the doctors is.
      • The scene could benefit from more backstory about Mollie's first marriage to Henry. We need to understand why she kept this a secret from Ernest and how it affects their relationship.
      Suggestions
      • Consider adding a scene that explores Mollie's first marriage to Henry and why she kept it a secret from Ernest. This could help to explain her paranoia and distrust of the doctors.
      • Increase the visual element of Mollie's bedroom by showing more of the medical equipment and the doctors' interactions with Mollie. This will help to establish the doctors' characters and motivations.
      • During the dialogue between Mollie and Ernest, reveal more about their relationship and the reasons behind Mollie's distrust of the doctors. This will help to establish the emotional stakes of the scene.
      • Consider adding a scene that shows Ernest's reaction to learning about Mollie's first marriage to Henry. This could help to explore the impact of this revelation on their relationship and provide a clearer resolution to the conflict in this scene.



      Scene 24 -  Mourning and Job Discussion
      113 EXT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DUSK 113

      Mollie and daughter Elizabeth, praying. Praying for lost
      loved ones. Mollie slips Lizzie’s BROKEN COMB into the
      moving, shiny water of the stream.



      A114 BACK TO MASONIC HALL. A114

      Six candles are out. Only one light remains.

      WISE MASTER (HALE)
      Guest of one day, and shelterless
      the next! Your Friend is dead; your
      Benefactor is no more! Mourn,
      lament, and cry “WOE UNTO US”! For
      falshood triumphs, Truth disappears
      and ignorance extinguishes the
      light of Philosophy!

      He takes his finger and extinguishes the last light.



      114 EXT: LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME 114

      Mollie & Elizabeth walk back to the house.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 69.


      115 GRAMMER’S’ WALL OF MEMORABILIA – DAY 115

      CU. Blue Ribbons, Trophies, Pictures and Memorabilia from a
      great Cowboy’s career in roping, bull riding, etc. This is
      for HENRY GRAMMER - a movie-star in this world also runs a
      distillery, main booze supplier to Osage County.

      HALE (V.O.)
      Look at all this blue! It’s like
      looking at the sea. Or the ocean.
      Is that gold?

      HENRY GRAMMER (V.O.)
      That’s better than gold.
      116 EXT. GRAMMER’S DISTILLERY 116

      Working Distillery. Hale and Ernest pay a vist to Grammer.
      Ernest having to watch Hale treat Grammer like a son and a
      rock star.

      HENRY GRAMMER
      ...That’s recognition.

      HALE (TO ERNEST)
      This man knows what it’s like to be
      the best at what you do.

      Time cut - they’re all drinking at a table nearby.

      HALE (CONT'D)
      Henry what I want is someone who
      can do a job, who can take a
      proposition to do an old man and
      his blanket. Now I just don’t want
      any man because this has to be done
      right, I need them both to go at
      the same time. So it’s not going
      to be poison whiskey but something
      else that is fool proof.

      Grammer calls JOHN RAMSEY (50s, ranchhand, white, skinny).
      Grammer hands him a bottle.

      HENRY GRAMMER
      John! Go stash this in the house
      and don’t let Maggie see you.

      Ramsey takes the bottle.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 70.


      RAMSEY
      Oh now - she’s got eyes, Henry. She
      caught me last time and I -

      HENRY GRAMMER
      Give it to me!

      Ramsey goes back to the distillery.

      HENRY GRAMMER (CONT'D)
      What good is it to have a man who
      can’t do what I tell him. (pause)

      He turns to Hale.

      HENRY GRAMMER (CONT'D)
      Why don’t you talk to Blackie
      Thompson?

      ERNEST
      He’s in penitentiary right now -

      HALE
      (interrupting) - because you made a
      stupid move and had him nabbed for
      Insurance Money on his car –

      HENRY GRAMMER
      That’s bad luck. What about Kelsie
      Morrison?

      HALE
      Kelsie’s gone soft on me right
      now...

      ERNEST
      He’s down in Mexico, last I
      heard... There’s Dick Gregg.

      HENRY GRAMMER
      No - he’s wanted in Arkansas, he’s
      wanted in Kansas - he’s so hid he
      can’t find himself -- you need a
      yegg man, someone if you want
      explosives that can make it sure
      you get them both – soup under the
      house, nitro or dynamite to blow
      ‘em up –

      I think that’s Acie Kirby …

      ...Hey John, where’s Acie Kirby
      these days?
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 71.


      RAMSEY
      I don’t rightly know where he is,
      he’s hiding in his hole.

      FLASH ON:
      Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

      Summary Mollie and Elizabeth pray for their deceased loved ones while Wise Master extinguishes the last candle at the Masonic Hall. Hale and Ernest visit Henry Grammer's distillery to discuss a job involving an old man and his blanket, with Grammer suggesting Acie Kirby. However, Ramsey is unaware of Kirby's whereabouts.
      Strengths
      • Engaging dialogue
      • Establishing atmosphere
      • Revealing character motivations
      Weaknesses
      • Lack of visual descriptions
      • Limited character change

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively establishes a somber and intense atmosphere, introduces important plot elements, and provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' personalities and conflicts. However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of the scene revolves around the characters discussing a criminal plan and searching for a reliable accomplice. It effectively introduces the theme of deception and the consequences of past actions. However, the concept could be further developed to create more suspense and intrigue.

      Plot: 8

      The plot of the scene progresses as the characters discuss potential candidates for their criminal plan and reveal their past experiences. It provides important information about the characters' backgrounds and motivations. However, the plot could be strengthened by introducing more obstacles and conflicts to increase tension.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and themes are familiar, the specific details and interactions between the characters add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the overall originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The scene introduces several distinct characters with their own personalities and conflicts. Henry Grammer is portrayed as a successful cowboy and distillery owner, who is searching for a reliable accomplice. Hale is depicted as a wise and experienced individual, while Ernest is shown as a loyal companion. The characters' interactions and dialogue effectively reveal their motivations and relationships.

      Character Changes: 6

      There is minimal character change in the scene. The characters' motivations and conflicts are established, but there is limited growth or transformation within the scene itself.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Mollie and Elizabeth are praying for their lost loved ones. This reflects their deeper need for comfort, closure, and hope in the face of grief and loss.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not clearly defined. However, there is a mention of Hale needing someone who can do a job involving an old man and his blanket, which implies a task or mission that needs to be accomplished.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 7

      The scene contains conflicts between the characters' desires for a reliable accomplice and their past experiences with unreliable individuals. However, the conflict could be heightened by introducing more obstacles and tensions within the group.

      Opposition: 7

      The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are no significant obstacles or conflicts, there is a sense of tension and opposition between the characters' desires and the challenges they face.

      High Stakes: 7

      The stakes in the scene involve the success of the criminal plan and the characters' search for a reliable accomplice. However, the stakes could be heightened by introducing more immediate consequences or obstacles.

      Story Forward: 8

      The scene moves the story forward by introducing important plot elements, such as the criminal plan and the search for a reliable accomplice. It also provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships. However, the scene could benefit from more direct impact on the overall story progression.

      Unpredictability: 6

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new characters and hints at a task or mission that is not fully explained. The audience is left wondering about the significance of these elements and how they will unfold in the story.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 7

      The scene evokes a sense of sadness, loss, and desperation through the characters' prayers, discussions of lost loved ones, and the somber atmosphere. However, the emotional impact could be further enhanced by delving deeper into the characters' emotions and providing more sensory details.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reveals the characters' personalities, conflicts, and motivations. It effectively conveys the somber and intense atmosphere of the scene. However, there could be more variation in the dialogue style and more subtext to enhance the depth of the characters' interactions.

      Engagement: 7

      This scene is engaging because it introduces a sense of mystery and intrigue with the mention of a task involving an old man and his blanket. The dialogue and interactions between the characters also create a sense of tension and anticipation.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of this scene is effective in creating a sense of anticipation and building tension. The dialogue and action sequences are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged and interested.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions in a clear and organized manner.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, followed by a series of dialogue and action sequences that progress the story.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks clear focus and purpose. It jumps between different locations and characters without a clear connection or narrative thread.
      • The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks a natural flow. There are abrupt transitions between characters speaking, making it difficult to follow the conversation.
      • The scene lacks visual elements and actions, which makes it visually uninteresting and stagnant.
      • The tone of the scene is unclear. It starts with a somber and introspective moment of prayer, then abruptly shifts to a philosophical monologue, and ends with a conversation about a job involving an old man and his blanket.
      • The scene lacks conflict, which makes it feel flat and unengaging.
      • The characters' motivations and intentions are unclear, making it difficult to understand their actions and decisions.
      • The scene lacks a clear resolution or conclusion, leaving the audience hanging and unsure of what will happen next.
      Suggestions
      • Clarify the purpose and focus of the scene. Determine what you want to convey to the audience and ensure that every element of the scene serves that purpose.
      • Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and coherent. Smooth out the transitions between characters speaking and ensure that their lines flow smoothly.
      • Introduce visual elements and actions to make the scene more visually engaging. Consider how the characters' movements and gestures can enhance the storytelling.
      • Establish a consistent tone throughout the scene. Decide on the emotional atmosphere you want to create and ensure that all elements of the scene, including dialogue and visuals, contribute to that tone.
      • Introduce conflicts and obstacles to create tension and drive the narrative forward. Explore the characters' desires and motivations and create situations that challenge them.
      • Clarify the characters' motivations and intentions. Ensure that their actions and decisions are grounded in their personalities and goals.
      • Provide a clear resolution or conclusion to the scene. Wrap up the events and give the audience a sense of closure or anticipation for what will happen next.



      Scene 25 -  Mollie's Secret and Barney's Fate
      117 INT. BANK – SOMEPLACE IN OKLAHOMA – DAY 117

      Meet: ASA, “ACIE” KIRBY, sets explosives, runs from a bank
      vault, jumps over counter and takes cover. The Vault blows up
      and money is raining down, some of it on fire……

      HENRY GRAMMER (V.O.)
      That’s your man.



      118 RANCH – DINNER TABLE – NIGHT 118

      Hale, Myrtle, Willie and Ernest, Mollie at the table.

      MOLLIE
      Pitts Beaty is trying to get his
      Klan to find the killers who killed
      Anna – he said they’re helping to
      take the lazy men away from town.

      HALE
      mmmhmm. Well, Pitts and his Klan
      are trying to have authority here,
      and they have none. They need to
      let the Police Force do their work
      – I am very disapproving of the Ku
      Klux Klan, Mollie, they’re very
      hungry for a power --

      MOLLIE
      But is there anyone? We tried with
      Barney McBride.



      A119 INT. ELK'S CLUB - EVENING A119

      Barney McBride receives a TELEGRAM and reads it.

      XCU: TELEGRAM “BE REAL CAREFUL. STOP.”

      McBride looks around surreptitiously, puts his hat on and
      heads out of the Club.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 72.


      119 INSERT: EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. ELK’S CLUB – EVENING 119

      Barney McBride exits and somebody suddenly seizes him and
      ties a sack over his head...
      120 INT. HALE'S RANCH - DINNER TABLE - CONTINUED 120

      CU. Of Mollie.

      MOLLIE
      I hired a private investigator -



      121 INSERT: INT. FAIRFAX ROOMING HOUSE – NIGHT 121

      WILLIAM J BURNS, Private Investigator, is walking to his room
      on the second floor… BYRON BURKHART and ANOTHER GUY are
      waiting in the hallway. As Burns opens his door, they push
      him inside where a THIRD MAN is waiting and beats him
      unconscious... Out of the shadows steps ERNEST who rifles
      through Burns’ pockets and removes money from his wallet.

      CU. his business cards from wallet go flying, “Cairo” “Los
      Angeles” “New York” “Berlin”.
      122 INT. HALE'S RANCH – DINNER TABLE – CONTINUED 122

      HALE
      You paid him?

      MOLLIE
      Yes.

      HALE
      Well he’s run off, hasn’t he?
      Ernest? He’s run off?

      ERNEST
      Seems that way, King.

      HALE
      You should be more careful how
      you’re spending that money of
      Mollie’s, Ernest... and you buying
      a farm... Consult with me before
      you buy another farm.

      ERNEST
      I will, King.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 73.


      HALE
      (to Mollie) There’s something
      different about you tonight,
      Mollie... what is it?

      ERNEST
      Mollie’s pregnant.

      BEAT, HOLD, THEN:

      ERNEST (CONT'D)
      We have news that Mollie is going
      to have a baby, King.

      HALE
      ...is that so?

      MOLLIE
      Yes.

      CU. HALE: Looks to Ernest, back to Mollie.

      HALE
      Well, blessings. Blessings on this
      house.

      Myrtle and Willie jump for joy and come for hugs and
      kisses... Ernest looks to Hale.



      123 INSERT: EXT. D.C. ELK’S CLUB ALLEY - MORNING 123

      Barney McBride, bag over his head is stabbed twenty times and
      his skull is beaten in.

      CUT TO:
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary As they dine at Hale's ranch, Mollie reveals she hired a private investigator to find Anna's killers, but he has disappeared. Ernest steals money from the unconscious investigator. Barney McBride is killed off-screen, leaving the group in suspense.
      Strengths
      • Building tension
      • Introducing new plot elements
      • Revealing important information
      Weaknesses
      • Lack of emotional depth
      • Limited character development

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively builds tension and introduces important plot points, but could benefit from more emotional impact and character development.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of the scene, focusing on the power struggle between the Ku Klux Klan and the police force, is intriguing and engaging.

      Plot: 8

      The plot progresses as new information is revealed, particularly with the introduction of the private investigator and the revelation of the pregnancy.

      Originality: 4

      The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and conflicts presented are familiar and do not offer any fresh approaches. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is realistic and believable.


      Character Development

      Characters: 7

      The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, but there is room for further development and exploration of their emotions.

      Character Changes: 6

      The revelation of the pregnancy brings about a change in the characters' dynamics, but there is room for further exploration of character growth.

      Internal Goal: 0

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to discuss the investigation into Anna's killers and the involvement of the Ku Klux Klan.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The conflict between the Ku Klux Klan and the police force, as well as the personal conflicts within the characters, create a high level of tension.

      Opposition: 9

      The opposition in this scene is strong, with conflicts between characters and the presence of dangerous elements such as the Ku Klux Klan.

      High Stakes: 8

      The stakes are high as the characters navigate the power struggle between the Ku Klux Klan and the police force, and the consequences of their actions.

      Story Forward: 9

      The scene introduces new plot elements, such as the private investigator and the consequences of seeking authority, which move the story forward.

      Unpredictability: 6

      This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces the murder of Barney McBride, which adds a layer of mystery and danger to the narrative.

      Philosophical Conflict: 8

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Mollie and Hale regarding the role of the Ku Klux Klan in the town and the use of authority.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 6

      While there are emotional moments, such as the revelation of the pregnancy, the scene could benefit from more emotional depth and impact.

      Dialogue: 7

      The dialogue effectively conveys information and reveals character dynamics, but could benefit from more depth and nuance.

      Engagement: 7

      This scene is engaging because it introduces conflicts and tensions within the town, particularly regarding the investigation into Anna's killers and the presence of the Ku Klux Klan.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the reader's interest.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and concise action and dialogue descriptions.


      Critique
      • The scene starts with a disconnected and abrupt introduction of Acie Kirby's bank robbery, which feels like it belongs in a different movie. This sudden shift in tone and action may confuse the audience and disrupt the flow of the story.
      • The dialogue between Hale, Myrtle, Willie, and Ernest feels forced and unnatural. The conversation about the Ku Klux Klan and Barney McBride's disappearance lacks depth and tension, and it doesn't add much to the overall plot.
      • The revelation that Mollie is pregnant comes out of nowhere and feels like a cheap plot twist. It doesn't have any emotional weight or significance, and it doesn't advance the story in any meaningful way.
      • The scene lacks visual elements and actions that could enhance the story and engage the audience. The dialogue and exposition are the only things that move the plot forward, which makes the scene feel static and uninteresting.
      • The scene ends abruptly with Hale's blessing, and it doesn't provide any closure or resolution to the conflicts that were introduced. The audience is left with unanswered questions and a sense of dissatisfaction.
      Suggestions
      • Consider integrating the bank robbery scene into the main plot, perhaps by revealing that Acie Kirby is a suspect in Barney McBride's disappearance or that he has some connection to Anna's murder.
      • Explore the tensions and dynamics between Hale, Myrtle, Willie, and Ernest regarding the Ku Klux Klan and their role in the community. This could add depth and complexity to the characters and the story.
      • Develop Mollie's pregnancy subplot more fully, perhaps by exploring her fears and doubts about motherhood or by revealing some secrets about her past that could shed light on her decision to keep the baby.
      • Incorporate more visual elements and actions into the scene, such as flashbacks, dream sequences, or symbolic imagery, to enhance the emotional impact and the visual style of the movie.
      • Provide a clear resolution to the conflicts that were introduced in the scene, such as Barney McBride's disappearance or Mollie's pregnancy, to give the audience a sense of closure and satisfaction.



      Scene 26 -  Mollie's Pregnancy and Henry's Concerns
      124 INT. HALE'S RANCH – NIGHT – CONTINUED 124

      Behind them, in the house, has stepped: HENRY ROAN.

      MYRTIE
      Henry! Oh Henry, come in here, we
      just got some wonderful news,
      Mollie is pregnant again!

      HENRY ROAN looks troubled, he approaches Mollie and
      congratulates her.

      Hale comes to Henry Roan.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 74.


      HALE
      What is it, Henry?

      HENRY ROAN
      Sorry to bother you, Uncle, I just
      need to have some words with you,
      please.

      HALE
      Of course, just wait for me, take a
      seat over here and wait for me.

      CU. ERNEST watching Mollie and Henry...
      125 INT. HALE'S RANCH – LIBRARY - LATER 125

      Hale and Ernest by the fire…

      HALE
      You’ve been loving with her in this
      sickness? Maybe that’s a preversion
      of yours. Well, horseshit.
      Sentimental horseshit.

      ERNEST
      Yes.

      HALE
      God Bless You and the Child…… Well,
      she’ll get the care she needs...

      CU. ERNEST watching Henry Roan

      ERNEST
      First husband, huh?... You think he
      has a claim on the family?... Claim
      on Mollie’s headrights?...

      HALE
      Only if the law believes he’s still
      married to her... but I don’t take
      chances...I’m seeing to it... I’m
      seeing to it.

      ERNEST sees the threat.
      126 EXT. GRAMMER’S DISTILLERY – MORNING – WINTER 126

      Ernest with Ramsey.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 75.


      ERNEST
      Ramsey, I know you’re in bad way in
      this life, you have very hard
      circumstances, you’ve got lots of
      kids, seven or eight I heard...?

      JOHN RAMSEY
      Yah, I got a passel of ‘em.

      ERNEST
      I’ve got a job to get you out of
      the bind you’re in. King Bill Hale
      wants to know if you’d like a job
      getting someone done?

      JOHN RAMSEY
      That’s not what I do. I can’t do
      that.

      ERNEST
      It’s an Indian.

      JOHN RAMSEY
      ...that’s different.

      ERNEST
      You know Henry Roan?

      JOHN RAMSEY
      I don’t know him.

      ERNEST
      ...what do you think?

      LONG PAUSE.

      ERNEST (CONT'D)
      I’m going to take you right now and
      buy you a Roadster so you can drive
      around and do this for him. There
      won’t be no rumble over this
      killing. The Injun’s a melancholic -
      Hale’s going around saying he tried
      twice already, so he wants you make
      it like he did it himself... in the
      front of the head. Understand?
      127 EXT. OLD LADY RALL’S CAFÉ – FAIRFAX – DAY 127

      Parade. Gray Horse War Mothers, Baseball team, lots of kids
      in the street.
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 76.


      Pick up Ernest and John Ramsey crossing the street through a
      parading local KKK group with Pitts Beaty proudly leading in
      black gown and hood.

      ERNEST
      Hey Pitts! (Lookin’ good!)

      PITTS BEATY
      Hey Ernest!

      We see Ernest and Ramsey go into the cafe.

      RAMSEY (V.O.)
      So Ernest had me meet this Indian
      at a restaurant in Fairfax and he
      sat down beside me and I smelled
      whiskey on his breath.

      Through the front window we see Ramsey be introduced to Henry
      Roan. (Sit at counter and have a meal.) THROUGH THE WINDOW we
      see them at the counter.

      CUT TO:
      128 EXT. OIL RIG – 128

      A blank, open sky. The profile of an OIL WORKER covered in
      oil – then ANOTHER OIL WORKER similarly covered in oil –
      looking into the distance.

      CUT TO:
      129 EXT. PRAIRIE 129

      Ramsey’s car stopped in the distance. Ramsey and Roan finding
      a jug down a disused oil well.

      RAMSEY (V.O.)
      I told him I could sell him some. I
      told him to meet me out on the road
      running through Sol Smith’s pasture
      about 10 o’clock and I would meet
      him and have the whiskey for him.

      BACK TO:
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 77.


      130 OIL WORKERS – A GROUP NOW ALL LOOKING INTO THE DISTANCE 130
      WATCHING RAMSEY AND ROAN WHO ARE NOW SITTING ON THE RUNNING
      BOARD, DRINKING. THE OIL WORKERS TURN OMINOUSLY AWAY.

      CUT TO:
      Genres: ["Drama","Western"]

      Summary In this scene, Myrtie shares the news of Mollie's pregnancy with Henry, who appears troubled. Hale and Henry discuss an undisclosed matter, and Ernest raises concerns about Henry's claim on Mollie's headrights. Later, Ernest convinces John Ramsey to take a job to kill an Indian. The scene also includes interactions with Pitts Beaty and a parade.
      Strengths
      • Effective tension and conflict
      • Well-developed characters
      • Intriguing plot setup
      Weaknesses
      • Limited character changes in the scene

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively establishes tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions. The revelation of Mollie's pregnancy adds a layer of complexity to the story, while the conversation between Ernest and Ramsey hints at a darker plot. The scene also sets up future events and introduces key characters.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of family secrets and hidden motives is intriguing and adds depth to the story. The inclusion of a Western setting adds a unique backdrop to the narrative.

      Plot: 8

      The plot progresses as new information is revealed and conflicts arise. The scene sets up future events and raises questions about the characters' motivations.

      Originality: 6

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and conflicts are not entirely unique, the dialogue and character interactions feel authentic and realistic. The writer's voice adds a fresh approach to familiar themes and relationships.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. Henry Roan's troubled demeanor and Ernest's manipulative nature add depth to the scene.

      Character Changes: 7

      While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the revelation of Mollie's pregnancy introduces a new dynamic and potential conflicts for the characters to navigate.

      Internal Goal: 7

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Henry Roan is troubled and wants to have a private conversation with Hale. This reflects his deeper need for resolution or clarification on a certain matter.

      External Goal: 6

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Henry Roan wants to discuss a certain issue with Hale and potentially seek his assistance or guidance. This reflects the immediate circumstances or challenges he is facing.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 9

      The scene is filled with underlying tension and conflict. The revelation of Mollie's pregnancy creates a conflict between Henry Roan and the other characters, while the conversation between Ernest and Ramsey hints at a darker plot.

      Opposition: 7

      The opposition in this scene is moderately strong. There are conflicts and tensions between the characters, but the outcome is not entirely clear, creating a sense of uncertainty and potential obstacles.

      High Stakes: 8

      The stakes are raised with the revelation of Mollie's pregnancy, which introduces potential conflicts and challenges for the characters. The conversation between Ernest and Ramsey hints at a darker plot, adding further tension and stakes to the scene.

      Story Forward: 8

      The scene moves the story forward by introducing new information and conflicts. The revelation of Mollie's pregnancy and the conversation between Ernest and Ramsey set up future events and raise questions about the characters' motivations.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the offer of a job to commit a crime and the mention of a potential threat. These elements create suspense and uncertainty.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 7

      The scene elicits a sense of unease and anticipation through the troubled demeanor of Henry Roan and the ominous conversation between Ernest and Ramsey. The revelation of Mollie's pregnancy adds an emotional layer to the scene.

      Dialogue: 8

      The dialogue effectively conveys tension and conflict between the characters. The conversation between Ernest and Ramsey is particularly engaging and hints at a darker plot.

      Engagement: 8

      This scene is engaging because it introduces conflicts and raises questions about the characters' motivations and relationships. The dialogue-driven nature of the scene keeps the audience interested in the unfolding events.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense through the characters' dialogue and actions. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a location and time description, introduces characters and their actions, and progresses the narrative through dialogue and scene direction.


      Critique
      • The scene starts off strong with Myrtie's excitement about Mollie's pregnancy, but Henry's troubled expression raises questions about his relationship with Mollie. This tension could be explored further to add depth to their characters and the conflict between them.
      • Hale's conversation with Henry raises some confusion about the nature of their disagreement. It's unclear what Henry wants to talk to Hale about, and this lack of clarity could be addressed to clarify the conflict.
      • Ernest's conversation with Hale about Mollie's headrights raises some legal questions that could be explored further. It's unclear what the legal implications of Mollie's previous marriage are, and this ambiguity could be clarified to add more complexity to the scene.
      • The scene with Ernest and Ramsey could be more impactful if we had a clearer understanding of Ramsey's motivations for accepting the job. Is he desperate for money, or is there something else driving him to accept this dangerous task?
      • The scene with Ramsey and Roan could be more suspenseful if we had a clearer understanding of their relationship. Are they friends, or is there some history between them that could add more tension to the scene?
      Suggestions
      • To clarify the conflict between Henry and Hale, you could consider adding a flashback or a conversation between them that sheds light on their history and the reasons behind their disagreement.
      • To clarify the legal implications of Mollie's previous marriage, you could consider adding a conversation between Hale and Ernest that explains the legal status of Mollie's headrights and the potential consequences of Henry's claim.
      • To add more complexity to Ernest and Ramsey's conversation, you could consider adding some backstory about Ramsey's circumstances that explains why he's in such a difficult situation.
      • To add more tension to Ramsey and Roan's scene, you could consider adding some flashbacks or conversations between them that reveal their history and the reasons behind their relationship.
      • To add more suspense to Ramsey and Roan's scene, you could consider adding some foreshadowing or hints about the danger of the task that Ramsey has accepted.



      Scene 27 -  Betrayal at the Speakeasy
      131 INT. MRS MACKIE’S SPEAKEASY 131

      Roan and Ramsey drinking with Mrs. Mackie and A HOOKER. Roan
      has his arm around her. She is cutting cocaine from a giant
      rock of coke (not partaking of cocaine).

      RAMSEY (V.O.)
      A few times after that I met this
      Indian. And we got to like one
      another - what with his troubles
      being respected and all...
      Sometimes we go to Mrs Mackie’s
      Place.

      MRS. MACKIE
      So he took it! Imagine that! What
      kind of sheriff goes around selling
      cocaine? You tell me that.

      RAMSEY (V.O.)
      ...This went on for awhile. I was
      trying to rib up a little more
      courage and one day I decided to
      pull the job everything being
      favorable. So I told this Indian we
      get a jug and some girls and meet
      me on the road running through
      Smith’s pasture.

      They drink.
      132 EXT. FIELD – DAY 132

      Roan and Ramsey at a secret stash spot in Sol Smith’s
      pasture. Roan stays in the car, behind the wheel. Ramsey
      gets the booze, walks it back and hands it to Roan...

      Ramsey gets the nerve, walks around the front of the car...
      then walks around the back of the car, gets up on the
      standing board, and SHOOTS HENRY ROAN IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD
      AS HE’S DRINKING.

      John Ramsey walks back to his car…
      KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 78.
      133 INT. FAIRFAX POOL HALL – DAY 133

      John Ramsey comes into the pool hall, shaky and glassy eyed,
      finds Ernest who has Cowboy with him... Ernest follows Ramsey
      to the telephone booth -
      134 INT. POOL HALL TELEPHONE BOOTH – THAT MOMENT 134

      JOHN RAMSEY
      Where’s Hale?

      ERNEST
      I don’t know. Pawhuska.

      JOHN RAMSEY
      Tell him it’s done –

      ERNEST
      You did it where?

      JOHN RAMSEY
      It’s done out at the road off Sol
      Smith’s pasture and that’s it...
      I’m gonna give you the gun...

      John Ramsey hands Ernest the gun and walks off.



      135 INSERT PHOTO: IMAGE FROM HENRY ROAN AND MOLLIE’S TRADITIONAL 135
      OSAGE WEDDING AS TEENAGERS, C.1902. WE HEAR ERNEST SAY -

      ERNEST
      (overlap)
      Henry Roan is dead.
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary Roan and Ramsey drink with Mrs. Mackie and a hooker at a speakeasy. Ramsey reveals their plan to rob Roan, and later shoots him in the back of the head. Ramsey then informs Ernest at a pool hall that the job is done and hands him the gun.
      Strengths
      • Intense dialogue
      • Strong character dynamics
      • Unexpected twist
      Weaknesses

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene is highly engaging and intense, with a strong focus on the plot and character dynamics. The dialogue is gripping and the conflict level is high, creating a sense of suspense and anticipation.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of betrayal and revenge is well-executed in the scene, with the unexpected twist of one character shooting the other. It adds depth and complexity to the overall story.

        Plot: 9

        The plot is well-developed and keeps the audience hooked. The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing the character's motivations and setting up future conflicts.

        Originality: 7

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and themes are familiar for the Prohibition era, the specific circumstances and character motivations add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


        Character Development

        Characters: 9

        The characters are well-defined and their actions and dialogue reflect their motivations and conflicts. The scene showcases the complex relationship between Roan and Ramsey.

        Character Changes: 9

        The character of Ramsey undergoes a significant change as he betrays and kills Roan. This action sets him on a path of revenge and transforms his character.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to gather the courage to commit a crime. It reflects his desire for power, control, and revenge against the sheriff who sold cocaine. It also reflects his fear of getting caught and the consequences of his actions.

        External Goal: 7

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to carry out a planned murder. It reflects the immediate circumstances of meeting his accomplice and the challenge of executing the crime without being caught.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 10

        The conflict level is high throughout the scene, with tension building up to the shocking moment of betrayal. It keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces the challenge of committing a murder and dealing with the moral conflict within himself. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold.

        High Stakes: 9

        The stakes are high in the scene as it involves betrayal, murder, and the pursuit of justice. The characters' lives and relationships are at risk.

        Story Forward: 10

        The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up future conflicts. It propels the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected actions, such as the protagonist shooting his accomplice. The audience is left unsure of the protagonist's motives and what will happen next.

        Philosophical Conflict: 6

        There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's moral values and his desire for revenge. He is conflicted between seeking justice through legal means and taking matters into his own hands.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene evokes strong emotions of shock, anger, and anticipation. The audience becomes emotionally invested in the characters and their fates.

        Dialogue: 9

        The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals important information about the characters and their intentions. It adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience engaged.

        Engagement: 8

        This scene is engaging because it introduces a conflict, builds suspense, and leaves the audience wanting to know what will happen next. The dialogue and actions of the characters create intrigue and tension.

        Pacing: 8

        The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The rhythm of the dialogue and the actions of the characters create a sense of urgency.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

        Structure: 9

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, builds tension, and ends with a cliffhanger.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with a confusing introduction of multiple characters without any clear context or backstory. The audience is left wondering who these people are and why they are important.
        • The dialogue between Roan, Ramsey, and Mrs. Mackie is disjointed and lacks coherence. It feels like a collection of disconnected thoughts rather than a cohesive conversation.
        • The scene lacks tension and suspense. The audience is not invested in the outcome of the situation, as the stakes are not clearly established.
        • The scene ends abruptly with Ramsey handing Ernest the gun and walking off. There is no resolution or closure, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied.
        • The visual elements in the scene are not utilized effectively. The hooker cutting cocaine is a distracting and unnecessary detail that adds nothing to the scene.
        Suggestions
        • To improve the scene, it would be helpful to provide more context and backstory for the characters. This will help the audience understand their motivations and relationships.
        • The dialogue should be more focused and cohesive. Each character should have a clear purpose and contribution to the conversation.
        • The tension and suspense should be built gradually, with clear stakes and consequences for the characters.
        • The scene should have a clear resolution or closure, with the outcome of the situation made clear.
        • The visual elements should be used more effectively to enhance the mood and atmosphere of the scene. For example, the hooker cutting cocaine could be replaced with a more subtle visual cue, such as a pile of cocaine on the table.



        Scene 28 -  Suspicions Arise in Mollie's House
        136 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – DAY 136

        Mollie, visibly pregnant comes into the house.

        CU. MOLLIE’S REACTION.

        Ernest watching her closely to see her reaction,
        scrutinizing.

        MOLLIE
        Did he kill himself?

        ERNEST
        Don’t know.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 79.


        MOLLIE
        He was always sad. Always.

        ERNEST
        You know him well?

        MOLLIE
        Since we were children.

        His wife is not true to him I don’t
        think.

        Does your Uncle know? They were
        friends.

        ERNEST
        Yes.

        MOLLIE
        He wasn’t murdered was he?

        ERNEST
        No.

        MOLLIE
        He tried to kill himself last year.
        Did you know that?

        ERNEST
        (nods, yes)

        MOLLIE
        Was he murdered? Or did he kill
        himself? Do you know?

        ERNEST
        Roy Bunch made a lot of noise about
        wanting to kill him. He was on his
        wife. So you don’t have to look too
        far. Maybe he killed himself, like
        you say... I don’t know.

        Mollie looks. Then walks into her room and closes the door.
        137 EXT. HALE’S RANCH – DUSK 137

        Ernest waiting in his car outside Hale’s Ranch. Hale bursts
        out of his house, angry, heads to the car --

        HALE
        I told you to do it in the front of
        the head.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 80.


        ERNEST
        I don’t know why he didn’t.

        HALE
        Why did he do that?

        ERNEST
        I don’t know. I told him. I told
        him.
        138 EXT. FAIRFAX/ERNEST’S CAR – DRIVING – NIGHT 138

        Ernest and Hale, driving, arguing:

        HALE
        And you told him proper? How do I
        know you told him right?

        ERNEST
        I’ll get him right now and put him
        in front of you to tell you what I
        told him – I didn’t do this wrong.
        He did it wrong. He’s a coward,
        couldn’t do it in the face like you
        said. I promise you. I swear on my
        children.

        HALE
        Don’t do that. Settle down. Settle.
        There’s no problem that can’t be
        fixed. Now it’s too much murder.
        Don’t swear on your children, that
        makes you look foolish.

        ERNEST
        I’m not foolish because I did it
        right. John Ramsey is your man and
        he’s a shuckle head and he didn’t
        have the nerve to do it in his
        face. I’ll find him and make him
        tell you.

        HALE
        You settle down, settle down,
        settle yourself, son...

        As they approach downtown Fairfax at dusk, they see
        something:

        ERNEST
        What is....
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 81.


        139 FAIRFAX RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD IS LIT UP BY STRINGS OF 139
        WHITE LIGHTS. LIGHTS EVERYWHERE… ”FRAID LIGHTS” [MMWDYSLN]

        ERNEST
        What is this?

        HALE
        (Has seen it already)
        They’re putting up lights to keep
        the murder away –

        We see AN OSAGE FAMILY packing up their car to leave town,
        and have a reflexive reaction as they see the car go by
        (paranoia).

        Hale and Ernest continue to drive around, looking for
        something or someone, looking, looking...

        HALE (CONT'D)
        There he is... slow up the car,
        here...



        140 ANGLE, ON MAIN STREET: ERNEST PULLS THE CAR OVER, ROY BUNCH 140
        IS SITTING ON A BENCH WITH FRIENDS.

        HALE
        Roy...

        ROY BUNCH
        Bill.

        HALE
        This isn’t the place for you to be.
        And I have a line that says you
        should leave town because Sheriff’s
        office is looking to charge you in
        this killing – they know you were
        on shooting terms –

        ROY BUNCH
        If I run, I’m guilty and I’ve got
        nothing to be guilty about.

        HALE
        If you don’t run, you’re going to
        go to prison for this, you did it
        or not – this is my friendly word.

        ROY BUNCH
        Thank you, Bill.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 82.


        HALE
        ...you should run.

        ROY BUNCH
        Thank you, Bill but no, I don’t
        think I will. And you’re not my
        friend. I’ll take my chances right
        here in Fairfax.

        Ernest drives off...
        Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

        Summary Mollie, pregnant and suspicious, questions Ernest about the death of a mutual acquaintance. Ernest mentions Roy Bunch's threats, and Mollie wonders if it was murder. Meanwhile, Hale confronts Ernest about a task, and they argue. As they drive through Fairfax, they see Roy Bunch and warn him about the sheriff's office. Roy refuses to run and decides to stay.
        Strengths
        • Tense dialogue
        • Intriguing plot developments
        • Introduction of town's paranoia
        Weaknesses
        • Limited emotional impact
        • Minimal character development

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 8

        The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue through the dialogue and the characters' reactions. The revelation of a previous suicide attempt and the mention of a potential suspect add depth to the plot. The introduction of the town's paranoia through the lights creates a sense of unease. However, the scene could benefit from more emotional impact and character development.


        Story Content

        Concept: 7

        The concept of exploring a possible suicide or murder and the subsequent investigation is engaging. The introduction of the town's paranoia adds an interesting layer to the story. However, the concept could be further developed to enhance the emotional impact and character arcs.

        Plot: 8

        The plot progresses as Mollie and Ernest discuss the circumstances surrounding the incident. The mention of a potential suspect and the revelation of a previous suicide attempt add intrigue. The scene also introduces the town's paranoia through the lights. However, the plot could benefit from more significant developments or revelations.

        Originality: 6

        This scene has a moderate level of originality. While the situation of investigating a death and confronting potential suspects is a familiar one, the specific dynamics and conflicts between the characters are unique. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


        Character Development

        Characters: 7

        The characters' reactions and dialogue effectively convey their suspicions and concerns. Mollie's emotional state and Ernest's determination to find answers add depth to their characters. However, more exploration of their personalities and motivations would enhance the scene.

        Character Changes: 6

        There is minimal character change in the scene. Mollie's emotional state is revealed, but there is limited growth or transformation. More significant character changes would add depth to the scene.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the death of someone they know. This reflects their desire for justice and their fear of the unknown.

        External Goal: 9

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a man named John Ramsey and make him tell the truth about the death. This reflects the immediate challenge of gathering evidence and confronting a potential suspect.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 7

        The conflict arises from the uncertainty surrounding the incident and the characters' differing opinions. The mention of a potential suspect adds tension. However, the conflict could be heightened with more intense confrontations or revelations.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance from Hale and potential suspects like Roy Bunch. The audience doesn't know how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

        High Stakes: 7

        The stakes are moderately high as the characters discuss a possible suicide or murder. The mention of a potential suspect and the town's paranoia increase the tension. However, the stakes could be further heightened with more immediate consequences or threats.

        Story Forward: 8

        The scene moves the story forward by introducing new information and raising questions about the incident. The mention of a potential suspect and the town's paranoia add intrigue. However, more significant developments or revelations would enhance the story progression.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and conflicts that challenge the audience's expectations. The audience doesn't know how the protagonist's investigation will unfold or what the outcome will be.

        Philosophical Conflict: 7

        There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in justice and the potential for corruption and cover-up in the town. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 6

        The scene elicits a sense of unease and curiosity through the characters' reactions and the mention of a previous suicide attempt. However, the emotional impact could be enhanced with deeper exploration of the characters' emotions and motivations.

        Dialogue: 8

        The dialogue is tense and suspenseful, driving the scene forward. The characters' exchanges reveal their suspicions and provide insight into their relationships. However, some lines could be further refined to enhance the impact.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it introduces a mystery and raises questions about the death of the character. The dialogue between the characters is intense and reveals important information, keeping the audience invested in the story.

        Pacing: 9

        The pacing of this scene is effective in creating a sense of urgency and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue exchanges between the characters are quick and intense, driving the scene forward.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

        Structure: 8

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, followed by character interactions and dialogue, and ends with a cliffhanger.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with a somber and serious tone as Mollie and Elizabeth pray for lost loved ones while Mollie slips a broken comb into a stream. This sets the stage for a heavy and emotional scene, but it could benefit from more context about why Mollie is praying and what has happened to her loved ones. Without this information, it's unclear what has led Mollie to this point of grief and despair.
        • Wise Master extinguishes the last candle at the Masonic Hall. This action could be more impactful if we knew why the candles were lit in the first place. Was it a memorial service? A funeral? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        • Hale discusses a job with Grammer and suggests Acie Kirby, but Ramsey doesn't know where he is hiding. This creates tension between the characters, but it could be more effective if we knew why Ramsey doesn't know where Kirby is hiding. Is Kirby a wanted criminal? Is he in hiding for a specific reason? Without this information, it's unclear what the stakes are in this situation.
        • Mollie reveals she hired a private investigator to find Anna's killers, but he has disappeared. This is a significant plot point, but it could be more impactful if we knew more about the private investigator. Who is he? What led Mollie to hire him? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        • Barney McBride is killed, but it's not clear who is responsible. This creates tension and suspense, but it could be more effective if we knew who killed McBride and why. Without this information, it's unclear what the stakes are in this situation.
        • Mollie announces she is pregnant. This is a significant plot point, but it could be more impactful if we knew more about Mollie's pregnancy. Is this her first child? Is she carrying twins? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        • Henry Roan is dead. This is a significant plot point, but it could be more impactful if we knew more about Henry's death. Was it an accident? A murder? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        • Mollie suspects foul play and questions if he was murdered or if he killed himself. Ernest mentions a man named Roy Bunch who had threatened the deceased. Hale confronts Ernest about a task that was not done properly. These actions create tension and suspicion, but they could be more effective if we knew more about the circumstances surrounding Henry's death. Without this information, it's unclear what the stakes are in this situation.
        • Roy Bunch refuses to run and decides to stay in Fairfax. This creates tension and conflict, but it could be more effective if we knew more about Roy's motivations for staying. Is he defying authority? Is he trying to prove his innocence? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        • Mollie's reaction to the news of Henry's death is visibly pregnant. This creates tension and emotion, but it could be more impactful if we knew more about Mollie's relationship with Henry. Was he her husband? Her lover? Without this information, it's unclear what the significance of this action is.
        Suggestions
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more context about the circumstances surrounding Henry's death. This would help the audience understand the tension and suspicion between the characters and what is at stake in this situation.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about Mollie's pregnancy. This would help the audience understand the emotional weight of this plot point and what it means for Mollie and her relationships with the other characters.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the private investigator that Mollie hired. This would help the audience understand why Mollie is so invested in finding Anna's killers and what led her to take this drastic measure.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the circumstances surrounding Barney McBride's death. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters and what is at stake in this situation.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about Roy Bunch's motivations for staying in Fairfax. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters and what is at stake in this situation.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the circumstances surrounding Henry's death. This would help the audience understand the emotional weight of this plot point and what it means for Mollie and her relationships with the other characters.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the private investigator that Mollie hired. This would help the audience understand why Mollie is so invested in finding Anna's killers and what led her to take this drastic measure.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the circumstances surrounding Henry's death. This would help the audience understand the emotional weight of this plot point and what it means for Mollie and her relationships with the other characters.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about the circumstances surrounding Barney McBride's death. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters and what is at stake in this situation.
        • To make the scene more impactful, we could add more information about Roy Bunch's motivations for staying in Fairfax. This would help the audience understand the tension and conflict between the characters and what is at stake in this situation.



        Scene 29 -  Protection Offered and Tension Rises
        141 EXT. BILL & RETA SMITH’S FAIRFAX HOME – NIGHT 141

        Bill Smith’s GUN. Smith’s coming through his front door. It’s
        dark. He moves forward slowly to look around, then looks
        down. Sees a dead dog.

        A142 INSERT: FAMILY PORTRAIT #2 A142

        Mollie, Ernest, Elizabeth, Cowboy, and Baby Anna posed for a
        Family Portrait
        142 EXT. BRUSH ARBOR - GRAY HORSE INDIAN VILLAGE – SUNRISE 142

        It’s months later. Mollie and Ernest with their baby,
        “Anna.” Noticeably fewer Osage than the previous baby naming
        event. Elizabeth and Cowboy are with them. Hale is here, Bill
        Smith and Reta. Burkhart Bros. Bigheart relatives. BABY NAMER
        (TRADITIONAL OSAGE) gives Little Anna her Osage name and
        presents her to gathering.

        TIME CUT:

        Bertha Bigheart presents A BLANKET to the Baby Namer and puts
        it on him. As Mollie watches she sees all the faces that
        surround her.... Whites and Osage now... Over Mollie we hear -

        RETA (V.O.)
        What is this wasting illness,
        Mollie? Minnie died from it...Mom
        died from it, too. Anna was shot.
        This blanket is a target on our
        backs.
        143 INT. BILL & RETA SMITH’S FAIRFAX HOME – NIGHT 143

        There’s a young, white servant named NETTIE BERKSHIRE (20s)
        serving them and cleaning up after dinner.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 83.


        RETA
        (confidentially) I’m gonna protect
        you. I changed my will.


        MOLLIE
        You can’t outrun what’s coming,
        Reta. If they want to get us...

        RETA
        Yes, I know, but why are you
        helping them?

        MOLLIE
        Who?

        RETA
        Who it is that’s doing these
        killings. Sometimes I think
        someone’s put medicine on you...
        How are you being taken care of,
        Mollie?

        MOLLIE
        I have Ernest and my children.
        Ernest takes good care of me.

        RETA
        I don’t want to be scared. Why
        don’t we just leave? Go to Colorado
        Springs. Why are we staying here?

        MOLLIE
        This is home.

        Reta looks to the other room and Ernest and Bill, looks back
        to Mollie. Ernest looks back and sees Reta’s eyes for a
        flash.

        BILL SMITH
        So you and Mollie stayin’ in town
        now, too, huh?

        ERNEST
        …yea. Pretty much. We’re here now.
        [Beat] You made yourself a nice
        place here.

        BILL SMITH
        Yeah, the Shoun brothers gave us a
        sweet deal. Left us some nice
        things here, too. [Beat] Not as
        nice as you’ve been buying, but
        it’s enough for us.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 84.


        ERNEST
        Mollie likes nice things.

        BILL SMITH
        Not as much as you...

        Ernest stares at him.

        BILL SMITH (CONT'D)
        ...you need a drink?

        ERNEST
        You have some?

        BILL SMITH
        No.

        ERNEST
        Then why you asking?

        BILL SMITH
        You seem nervous.

        ERNEST
        I got no nerves. I don’t really
        like talking to you, Bill. That’s
        mostly it.

        BILL SMITH
        Am I doing something to bother you,
        Ernest?

        ERNEST
        Just the way you are bothers me.

        BILL SMITH
        Nothin’ I can do about that.

        ERNEST
        No there isn’t.

        BILL SMITH
        Lest you kill me. Maybe that’s your
        brother’s job.

        ERNEST
        Maybe you stick around long enough
        I’ll get a chance at you, Bill...

        BILL SMITH
        You do your own work?
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 85.
        Genres: ["Drama","Mystery","Thriller"]

        Summary In this scene, Reta proposes to safeguard Mollie by altering her will in light of recent killings. Meanwhile, Ernest and Bill's animosity intensifies as they engage in a heated conversation.
        Strengths
        • Tense dialogue
        • Building suspense
        • Realistic portrayal of fear and anxiety
        Weaknesses
        • Lack of visual elements
        • Limited character changes

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 8

        The scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the dialogue and the underlying fear of the characters. The conversation between Reta and Mollie reveals their vulnerability and the sense of impending danger. The conflict between Ernest and Bill adds an additional layer of tension. However, the scene could benefit from more dynamic action or visual elements to enhance the overall impact.


        Story Content

        Concept: 7

        The concept of the scene revolves around the characters' fear and uncertainty in the face of the mysterious killings. It effectively conveys the theme of paranoia and the struggle to protect loved ones. However, the concept could be further developed to provide more clarity and depth to the overall story.

        Plot: 7

        The plot of the scene focuses on the characters' discussion about the killings and their concerns for their safety. It adds tension and raises questions about the identity of the killer. However, the plot could benefit from more dramatic events or revelations to propel the story forward.

        Originality: 7

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and themes are familiar, the specific situations and conflicts faced by the characters are unique. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


        Character Development

        Characters: 8

        The characters in the scene are well-defined and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. Reta's protective nature, Mollie's resilience, Ernest's guardedness, and Bill's antagonistic behavior create a compelling dynamic. The dialogue reveals their conflicting perspectives and adds depth to their relationships.

        Character Changes: 7

        The scene does not feature significant character changes. However, it deepens the understanding of the characters' fears, motivations, and relationships. The conversation between Reta and Mollie hints at potential changes in their dynamic and their determination to protect each other.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect herself and her family from the danger and uncertainty surrounding them. She wants to find a way to keep them safe and secure.

        External Goal: 7

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of normalcy and stability in her life, despite the threats and challenges she faces. She wants to stay in her home and not be forced to leave due to the danger.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 8

        The scene contains a high level of conflict, both in terms of external threats and internal tensions between the characters. The fear of the unknown and the conflicting motivations create a sense of unease and suspense. The conflict drives the scene forward and keeps the audience engaged.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong, as there is tension and conflict between the characters. The audience is unsure of how the interactions will unfold and what the consequences will be.

        High Stakes: 8

        The stakes in the scene are high as the characters discuss the mysterious killings and their fears for their safety. The potential danger they face and the uncertainty surrounding the identity of the killer create a sense of urgency and tension. The stakes drive the characters' actions and decisions.

        Story Forward: 7

        The scene provides some progression to the story by revealing the characters' concerns and the potential danger they face. It adds depth to the narrative and raises questions about the identity of the killer. However, the scene could benefit from more significant plot developments to drive the story forward.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and conflicts that the audience may not have anticipated. The dialogue and interactions between the characters add to the unpredictability.

        Philosophical Conflict: 6

        There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire to protect her family and the fear and uncertainty she feels. She questions whether it is worth staying in the town and risking their lives, or if they should leave to find safety elsewhere.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, primarily fear and anxiety. The characters' vulnerability and the sense of impending danger create a tense atmosphere. The emotional impact is heightened by the realistic dialogue and the underlying fear of the unknown.

        Dialogue: 9

        The dialogue in the scene is engaging and realistic. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, fears, and suspicions. The conversation between Reta and Mollie is particularly impactful, revealing their vulnerability and the complexity of their situation. The dialogue also adds tension and conflict between Ernest and Bill.

        Engagement: 8

        This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict and raises questions about the characters' safety and the choices they will make. The tension and uncertainty keep the audience interested in the outcome.

        Pacing: 8

        The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

        Structure: 9

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and develops the conflict and tension through dialogue and actions.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with a strong visual element, as Bill Smith's gun is shown on the ground. This immediately sets a tense and ominous tone for the scene. However, the scene then shifts to a family portrait, which feels disconnected from the previous shot. This could potentially confuse the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene.
        • The dialogue between Reta and Mollie is interesting, as Reta offers to protect Mollie by changing her will. This raises questions about the motives of Reta and whether she is involved in the recent killings. However, the conversation between Ernest and Bill feels forced and lacks any real tension or conflict.
        • The dialogue between Ernest and Bill also reveals some backstory about Ernest's relationship with Bill. This could potentially add depth to the characters, but it feels rushed and doesn't fully explore the complexities of their relationship.
        • The scene also touches on themes of illness and mortality, as Reta mentions the deaths of Minnie and Mom. This adds a layer of emotional depth to the scene, but it could potentially be explored further to add more complexity to the characters and their relationships.
        • The scene ends with Ernest driving off, leaving the audience with a sense of uncertainty and tension. However, the scene could potentially benefit from more visual elements and actions to fully convey the emotional tone and tension of the scene.
        Suggestions
        • To connect the family portrait to the rest of the scene, you could potentially have Mollie or Ernest mention the recent killings or the tension in the community. This would help to establish a clear connection between the two shots and add more context to the scene.
        • To explore the complexities of Ernest and Bill's relationship, you could potentially have a flashback or a dream sequence that shows their history together. This would help to establish a clear backstory for the characters and add more depth to their relationship.
        • To fully convey the emotional tone and tension of the scene, you could potentially have more visual elements and actions. For example, you could have Ernest and Bill engage in a physical altercation, or you could have Reta or Elizabeth reveal some important information that adds more tension to the scene.
        • To explore the themes of illness and mortality further, you could potentially have a flashback or a dream sequence that shows Mollie's experiences with illness and mortality. This would help to establish a clear connection between the characters and their experiences, and add more emotional depth to the scene.



        Scene 30 -  Preparing for Danger and Uncovering Secrets
        144 EXT./INT. HALE’S RANCH - DUSK 144

        We see somebody in the house through the window.
        145 INT. SHOUN’S OFFICE - SAME MOMENT 145

        Myrtle Hale is on the phone with James Shoun at his desk.

        JAMES SHOUN
        Myrtle?

        MYRTLE
        Get your best furniture out of the
        house.

        JAMES SHOUN
        Okay.
        146 EXT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – DAY 146

        Ernest is playing in the front yard with Cowboy... Other
        neighborhood kids playing in their yards/street. Ernest hears
        a HORN HONKING in the front... over and over...

        He comes around and sees: BILL HALE in the car, with HENRY
        GRAMMER.

        ERNEST
        Alright?

        BILL HALE
        I’m to Fort Worth for the Stock
        Show, so I want you to find Acie
        Kirby and tell him it’s time on the
        Smith job.

        ERNEST
        ...

        BILL HALE
        You hear me?

        ERNEST
        I don’t know him. I don’t know
        where to find Acie Kirby, where
        does he stay?

        BILL HALE
        (TO GRAMMER)
        Where’s he find Acie?
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 86.


        HENRY GRAMMER
        Find John Ramsey... he’ll know.

        BILL HALE
        Got that? Find John Ramsey... tell
        Ramsey to tell Acie that it’s time.

        I’m to Fort Worth……

        Ernest stares…

        BILL HALE (CONT'D)
        Look at me like this makes sense.

        ERNEST
        I am. I understand. I’ll find
        Ramsey and tell him.

        Hale drives off. CU. ERNEST.



        AAA147 EXT. FAIRFAX STREET AAA147

        Ernest finds John Ramsey.

        ERNEST
        Hale wants you to find Acie Kirby
        and tell him to take care of Bill
        and Reta.

        JOHN RAMSEY
        Well, I can’t go right now, my
        wife’s sick.

        ERNEST
        My wife’s sick too! Just tell her
        you gotta go out to Grammer’s for
        some whiskey and then find Acie and
        tell him it’s time for Bill and
        Reta…

        JOHN RAMSEY
        Why aren’t you doing this? Why are
        you always getting someone else to
        do your work?

        ERNEST
        I don’t know Acie Kirby. I don’t
        even know what he looks like. I
        would do it, but I can’t do it
        because I don’t know what he looks
        like. I’m sorry.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 87.


        JOHN RAMSEY
        Alright, I’ll get to it later...

        ERNEST
        So you know, it’s something should
        be done straight away, not to wait
        on it for Hale, you see? It has to
        be done straight away.

        JOHN RAMSEY
        You’re pushy, Ernest. I’ll do it,
        I’ll do it. I gotta get back to
        work...

        They walk off their different directions…



        AA147 INT. ROOMING HOUSE AA147

        John Ramsey walks right by the clerk and finds a certain
        door. He knocks on the door.

        JOHN RAMSEY
        Acie? Acie?

        ACIE KIRBY
        Yah?

        JOHN RAMSEY
        It’s John. Don’t shoot.

        ACIE KIRBY
        Come in.


        John Ramsey goes inside.

        ACIE KIRBY (CONT'D)
        Hello, John.

        RAMSEY
        You got your soup with you? -
        ‘cause it’s time for that job.



        A147 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – EVENING / NIGHT A147

        Ernest looking down from the top of the stairs and seeing
        Mollie who has just come in from outdoors. (Osage/English
        mix)
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 88.


        ERNEST
        Where you been (sweetheart)? You
        were supposed to be home.

        MOLLIE
        I was at Reta’s. Cowboy had an
        earache.

        ERNEST
        Again?

        MOLLIE
        Bill ain’t too kind to her when I’m
        not there.

        ERNEST
        That’s her problem not yours.

        MOLLIE
        You know you’re talking like your
        uncle again.

        ERNEST
        Now listen, Mollie, I don’t want
        you going out so much right now.
        With all that’s going on.


        MOLLIE
        I know, I know, but I was just at
        my sisters.



        ERNEST ERNEST
        You and the kids stay in the Zhin-ka-zhin thishki tsi da
        house. waspa



        MOLLIE
        Elizabeth still has school. I still
        have family to see.

        ERNEST
        I just don’t want you to go out
        unless you have to.

        TIME CUT:

        147 Mollie asleep in bed. Ernest is next to her half asleep. 147

        AN EXPLOSION. A bomb has gone off that rattles the whole
        town awake, shaking houses and sending a shockwave...
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 89.


        Mollie moves to the window, Ernest follows.

        MOLLIE
        I think it’s Perry King’s house.

        Ernest puts on his pants and moves downstairs... Mollie
        slowly behind moves towards the kids...

        Elizabeth, the eldest, sees her mother struggle down the
        stairs… (Vera, alarmed, goes to help Mollie.)

        MOLLIE (CONT'D) MOLLIE (CONT'D)
        Go to Anna. Anna tah mahn-theen.

        (Vera) gathers baby Anna, Elizabeth and Cowboy. Mollie
        arrives at the bottom of the steps and collects all the
        children…



        148 IN THE STREET 148

        Ernest walking towards the blast. People are awake,
        screaming, heading towards the blast...

        PEOPLE
        That’s Bill Smith’s house! That’s
        Bill and Reta’s! etc etc etc

        CU. ERNEST as he arrives at the bomb sight. Bill and Reta’s
        house is a hole in the ground. Men try and salvage, dig
        around under the mess… Ernest wanders through the area
        stunned -

        ERNEST
        Some fire...

        They find Bill Smith, still alive, screaming, moaning.

        BILL SMITH
        SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME.

        They find Reta’s sleeping body, the side of her head falls
        off as they lift her...

        PEOPLE
        Nettie’s in there. Nettie Berkshire
        stays in the back room that way –

        They dig around looking for Nettie...

        A RIVAL AMBULANCE arrives and Undertaker Turton rushes up to
        them and pushes them back into the ambulance.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 90.


        TURTON
        Big Hill Company’s got this. Move
        back! Push it out.

        Bill Smith being carried on a stretcher accompanied by the
        Shoun brothers. They pass Ernest standing stunned -

        BILL SMITH
        I know who did this. I know who did
        this.

        Ernest and the Shouns exchange looks.

        ERNEST
        (stunned) Some fire... some fire...
        some fire...

        CU. ERNEST turns and walks away...



        149 HE COMES BACK INTO THE HOUSE... SOUND DROPS OUT, AS WE SEE 149
        MOLLIE AND THE CHILDREN WAIT FOR ERNEST... A REPRISE OF HER
        VOICE OVER:

        MOLLIE (V.O.)
        I close my heart and keep what is
        good there, but hate comes…
        My heart is cold and I say I ought
        to kill these white men who killed
        my family.

        CU. MOLLIE as Ernest comes back to tell her it’s Reta’s
        house.

        CUT TO:
        Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

        Summary In this scene, Myrtle Hale arranges for the removal of their best furniture as danger approaches. Ernest is tasked with finding Acie Kirby, but admits he doesn't know him. Bill Hale and Henry Grammer arrive, and Ernest convinces John Ramsey to deliver the message to Acie. The scene ends with a bomb explosion destroying Bill and Reta's house, and Ernest and Mollie rush to the scene to find survivors.
        Strengths
        • Effective portrayal of tragedy and tension
        • Strong emotional impact
        • High stakes and conflict
        Weaknesses
        • Limited character development

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene effectively conveys the tragedy and tension of the bombing, creating a strong emotional impact on the audience. The high stakes and conflict add to the intensity of the scene.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of a bombing and its consequences is well-executed in the scene. It effectively explores the emotional and psychological impact on the characters.

        Plot: 8

        The plot of the scene revolves around the aftermath of the bombing and the characters' reactions to it. It effectively conveys the tragedy and sets up future conflicts.

        Originality: 6

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and challenges faced by the characters are familiar, the authenticity of their actions and dialogue adds a fresh and realistic touch. The writer avoids clichés and presents the characters' reactions in a believable manner.


        Character Development

        Characters: 7

        The characters in the scene are impacted by the bombing, but their development is limited. However, their emotions and reactions add depth to the scene.

        Character Changes: 7

        While the characters are impacted by the bombing, their changes are not significant within this scene. However, it sets up potential character arcs and future development.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges and responsibilities given to him by Bill Hale. It reflects his desire to prove himself and be reliable, but also his fear of not knowing how to handle the situation or failing to meet expectations.

        External Goal: 7

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find Acie Kirby and deliver the message from Bill Hale. It reflects the immediate circumstances of Bill Hale going to Fort Worth and the challenge of locating Acie Kirby without prior knowledge of his whereabouts.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 9

        The conflict in the scene is intense, with the bombing creating a sense of danger and urgency. The characters' internal conflicts and the search for Acie Kirby add to the tension.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges in finding Acie Kirby and delivering the message. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles and if he will succeed.

        High Stakes: 10

        The stakes are high in the scene as lives are lost and the characters' safety and well-being are threatened. The bombing raises the tension and urgency of the story.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene moves the story forward by introducing the bombing and its consequences. It sets up future conflicts and establishes the emotional stakes for the characters.

        Unpredictability: 7

        This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected challenges and obstacles for the protagonist. The audience doesn't know how he will overcome these challenges or if he will succeed in his goals.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 10

        The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking sadness, anger, and shock in the audience. The tragedy of the bombing and the characters' reactions elicit a powerful response.

        Dialogue: 7

        The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations. It provides necessary information and drives the plot forward.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it presents a clear conflict and raises questions about the protagonist's ability to fulfill his tasks. The dialogue and actions create tension and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

        Pacing: 9

        The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and balancing dialogue with action. The scene progresses at a pace that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

        Structure: 8

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals, and progresses the plot through dialogue and actions.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with Myrtle Hale giving instructions to James Shoun over the phone. This sets up the tension and urgency of the situation, as Myrtle seems to be in a hurry and wants everything to be done quickly. However, the scene could benefit from more context about why Myrtle is in such a rush and what exactly is happening. This could help the audience understand the stakes of the situation better.
        • Ernest's interaction with Bill Hale and Henry Grammer is a bit confusing. Bill tells Ernest to find Acie Kirby and tell him to take care of Bill and Reta, but Ernest seems unsure about who Acie Kirby is and where he can be found. This could be clarified by having Bill provide more information about Acie Kirby, such as his appearance or where he usually hangs out. This would make Ernest's task more clear and help the audience understand the chain of command.
        • Ernest's conversation with John Ramsey is interesting, as John seems hesitant to do what Ernest asks. This could be developed further by having John explain why he's hesitant and what his relationship with Acie Kirby is. This could add more depth to the characters and their motivations.
        • Mollie's conversation with Ernest is a bit abrupt. Ernest tells Mollie to stay in the house, and Mollie seems to agree without much explanation. This could be expanded upon by having Mollie express her concerns about Bill's behavior and why she's hesitant to go out. This would add more context to the situation and help the audience understand Mollie's perspective.
        • The bomb explosion is a dramatic moment, but it could be made more impactful by having more buildup to it. For example, the audience could see Bill and Reta's house being targeted or receive some kind of warning about the bomb. This would make the explosion feel more earned and add more tension to the scene.
        Suggestions
        • Add more context about why Myrtle is in such a hurry and what exactly is happening.
        • Have Bill provide more information about Acie Kirby when he tells Ernest to find him.
        • Develop John Ramsey's character and his relationship with Acie Kirby.
        • Expand upon Mollie's concerns about Bill's behavior and why she's hesitant to go out.
        • Add more buildup to the bomb explosion, such as targeting or warning.



        Scene 31 -  Seeking Justice in Washington D.C.
        150 EXT. STOCK SHOW – FT. WORTH, TX – THAT MOMENT 150

        At this moment, in Fort Worth, at a STOCK SHOW OF CATTLE,
        BULLS, RODEO RIDING: HALE and HENRY GRAMMER.

        They have an alibi. We see Henry Grammer sign some autographs
        and snap a picture with adoring fans. Bill Hale squeezes into
        the side of the picture...

        CUT TO:
        151 EXT. FAIRFAX – DAY 151
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 91.


        DRONE CAMERA OVER THE HOLE IN THE GROUND THAT WAS BILL AND
        RETA’S HOME.



        152 DEBRIS EVERYWHERE. PEOPLE CLEANING UP, KIDS PLAYING IN THE 152
        RUBBLE, ANGRY NEIGHBORS AND TOWNSPEOPLE.

        BILL HALE AND HENRY GRAMMER drive back into town.

        HENRY GRAMMER
        Too much dynamite.

        Hale gets out, looks at the damage. Pitts Beaty there.

        PITTS BEATY
        You know, you’re pronouncing
        yourself too much, Bill.

        Hale moves forward kicks up by accident part of an arm.

        PITTS BEATY (CONT'D)
        Nettie... they’re finding pieces of
        her.

        Hale looks at him.
        153 INT. PITTS BEATY OFFICE – DAY 153

        Pitts Beaty and Mollie.

        MOLLIE
        Mollie Burkhart, Incompetent.
        Allotment number 285.

        PITTS BEATY
        You want $300 to go to Washington,
        D.C.?

        MOLLIE
        Yes.

        PITTS BEATY
        That’s a hard trip for an ailing
        woman, Mollie. It didn’t go so well
        with Ernest as your guardian, did
        it?... I am now reinstated as your
        guardian and I can’t let you have
        this money or make this trip,
        Mollie, that would do a disservice
        to you and your children.
        KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 92.


        MOLLIE MOLLIE
        I want to go now because I Theh-kohn-tsee breh kohn-brah
        will not be alive much tahn thoh-hah ahts’eh dah
        longer. meen-ksheh.
        154 EXT. TRAIN PLATFORM – FAIRFAX – MORNING 154

        The Osage Delegation is leaving to head to Washington D.C.

        Ernest helps Mollie towards the steps of the train. Another
        member of the Delegation helps her up into the train. She
        waves goodbye to Ernest and the children...

        MOLLIE (V.O.) MOLLIE (V.O.)
        This evil surrounds my Hohn-zhee thahn-tseh wee-dah
        heart... (more?) ah-kee-xeh ah-kxah. (more?)
        155 EXT. WASHINGTON D.C., GOVERNMENT BUILDING – DAY 155

        It’s a photo op for PRESIDENT COOLIDGE and the Osage Tribe.
        Mollie standing next to the President.

        The photograph is taken and President Coolidge moves away,
        Mollie and the Tribe’s INTERPRETER grab his attention:

        MOLLIE
        Mr. President, please send someone
        to help us. There is murder in
        Osage and the police do nothing
        about this. I lost my sisters and
        mother and we have Osage killed for
        the oil money.

        He nods and nods and nods and then is ushered away.
        Genres: ["Drama"]

        Summary After the explosion at Bill and Reta's home, Bill Hale and Henry Grammer return to find debris and cleanup efforts. Pitts Beaty informs Bill that they are finding pieces of Nettie. Mollie requests $300 to seek help for the murders in Osage, but Pitts denies her. The Osage Delegation travels to Washington D.C. To ask President Coolidge for assistance, and Mollie pleads for help, sharing her losses. Pitts denies Mollie's request, and the scene ends with President Coolidge nodding in response to Mollie's plea.
        Strengths
        • Powerful dialogue
        • Emotional impact
        • Compelling concept
        Weaknesses

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 9

          The scene effectively conveys the gravity of the situation and the emotional turmoil experienced by the characters. The dialogue is impactful and the themes of injustice and desperation are powerfully portrayed.


          Story Content

          Concept: 8

          The concept of exploring the real-life murders of the Osage Tribe and their fight for justice is compelling and thought-provoking. It sheds light on a lesser-known historical event and raises important social and moral questions.

          Plot: 8

          The plot progresses as Mollie Burkhart seeks help from President Coolidge to address the murders in the Osage community. The scene effectively sets up the conflict and establishes the stakes for the characters.

          Originality: 6

          The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall situation of seeking justice and confronting a higher authority is a familiar theme, the specific context of the Osage murders and the protagonist's plea to the President adds a fresh and unique element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly conveyed. Mollie Burkhart's determination and desperation, as well as the callousness of Pitts Beaty, create strong emotional connections with the audience.

          Character Changes: 8

          Mollie Burkhart undergoes a change as she takes a proactive step towards seeking justice by approaching President Coolidge. Her determination and resolve are evident.

          Internal Goal: 7

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that they are seeking justice for the murders in Osage and want the President to take action. This reflects their deeper need for closure, their fear of further violence, and their desire for justice to be served.

          External Goal: 8

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince the President to send someone to help with the murder investigation in Osage. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, which include the lack of action from the local police and the ongoing murders in their community.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 8

          The conflict between the Osage Tribe and those responsible for the murders is evident. The scene also highlights the internal conflict faced by Mollie Burkhart as she fights for justice while dealing with personal loss.

          Opposition: 8

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance from the President and the corrupt system that allows the murders in Osage to go unpunished. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold and whether the protagonist will achieve their goal.

          High Stakes: 9

          The stakes are high as Mollie Burkhart fights for justice and the safety of her community. The lives of the Osage Tribe members are at risk, and the outcome of Mollie's plea to President Coolidge carries significant consequences.

          Story Forward: 9

          The scene moves the story forward by showing Mollie's efforts to seek help and the potential for change. It sets up the next phase of the narrative.

          Unpredictability: 7

          This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the conflict between the protagonist and the President, and it is unclear how the President will respond to the plea for help. The presence of debris from a destroyed home and the mention of finding pieces of a person add an element of surprise and shock.

          Philosophical Conflict: 9

          There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene, as the protagonist challenges the President to acknowledge and address the injustice and corruption happening in Osage. This conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the fairness and effectiveness of the government and their worldview that justice should prevail.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 9

          The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, anger, and empathy. The devastation caused by the murders and the desperation of the characters are deeply felt.

          Dialogue: 9

          The dialogue is impactful and effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the urgency of the situation. Mollie's plea to President Coolidge is particularly powerful.

          Engagement: 9

          This scene is engaging because it presents a compelling conflict and raises important questions about justice and corruption. The emotional intensity of the protagonist's plea and the vivid imagery of the destroyed home and the stock show contribute to the scene's engagement.

          Pacing: 8

          The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of emotional intensity with moments of reflection and dialogue. The scene progresses smoothly and maintains the reader's interest.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatted correctly. The scene is well-paced and easy to follow.

          Structure: 8

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, introduces the characters, and progresses through a series of dialogue-driven interactions. The scene transitions smoothly between different locations and events.


          Critique
          • The scene lacks clear transitions between locations, making it confusing for the reader to follow.
          • There is a lack of clarity in the dialogue, particularly in the conversation between Mollie and Pitts Beaty.
          • The emotional tone of the scene could be better established through more descriptive language and character actions.
          • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the storytelling.
          • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with important moments and conflicts not given enough time to breathe.
          Suggestions
          • Provide clearer transitions between locations by using scene headings or descriptive language.
          • Revise the dialogue between Mollie and Pitts Beaty to make their motivations and intentions more explicit.
          • Add more descriptive language and character actions to establish the emotional tone of the scene.
          • Incorporate more visual elements to enhance the storytelling and create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader.
          • Consider pacing the scene more effectively by allowing important moments and conflicts to unfold at a slower pace, allowing for greater tension and impact.



          Scene 32 -  Preparing for Mollie's Care
          156 INT. SHOUN’S OFFICE – DAY 156

          Ernest, Hale and Byron with the Shoun Brothers. The Shoun
          brothers are preparing Mollie’s Insulin.

          DAVID SHOUN
          Give her some of this (indicating
          the vial)... and this (indicating a
          different vial). That’s this whole
          vial. Make sure the balance is
          right.
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 93.


          JAMES SHOUN
          Now you keep the shots regular.

          Ernest reacts. Doctors occupy themselves (organizing vials
          for Ernest to take home?) As Hale talks to Ernest privately.

          HALE
          It’s just to slow her down...
          (repeats?: It’s just to slow her
          down... ) It’s not going to hurt
          her.

          Ernest looks.

          HALE (CONT'D)
          She’s gone to Washington - you know
          what that means for us?... For
          you?... We don’t have a choice,
          son.

          Ernest still resisting.

          HALE (CONT'D)
          You believe in the Bible? The
          miracles of old?

          ERNEST
          Yeah.. yeah..

          HALE
          You expecting a miracle to make all
          this go away? They don’t happen
          anymore. We make the miracles...
          You’re not going anywhere, Ernest.

          CUT TO:



          A157 CU. ERNEST IN THE LIVING ROOM. A157

          He’s preparing the Insulin mixture.

          He loads the needle.

          He walks down the hallway toward Mollie’s room with the
          needle...
          157 INT. CATHOLIC CHURCH FAIRFAX – DAY 157

          We see Mollie seated. There has been a major change in her
          health. She speaks to the priest. Vera in the back with Anna.
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 94.


          MOLLIE
          I’m afraid.

          PRIEST
          What are you afraid of?

          MOLLIE
          I’m afraid to eat in my house.

          PRIEST
          Why are you afraid to eat?

          MOLLIE
          ...

          PRIEST
          Do you drink whiskey?

          MOLLIE
          Sometimes.

          PRIEST
          Don’t drink anymore whiskey.
          There’s so many people that have
          been given bad whiskey... poisoned.
          There are so many deaths.

          MOLLIE
          I won’t drink any whiskey, Father.

          PRIEST
          Do you have any thought to who
          might want to hurt you?

          MOLLIE
          ...

          PRIEST
          You’re looking poorly Mollie, very
          poorly. Are you being well cared
          for?

          CUT TO:
          158 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – DAY 158

          A family meeting. Mollie sits in a chair in the living room.
          Ernest is here, Elizabeth and Cowboy and Baby Anna. The
          Housekeeper, Vera. English/Osage mix.
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 95.


          MOLLIE MOLLIE
          I am sick. We will not have ahn-who-heck-ah meen(n)-
          visitors. We will eat food kshey. Ee-kee-mahn-thee(n)
          only made by Vera, we will wah-thee(n)-key dah-xhai. eh-
          not have anyone to work here nan(n) dah-dah(n) oh-ho bee-
          near us. Tell Mr. Blasingame thahn ahn-daht-sey dahn-kaht-
          he does not need to finish kah, we will not have anyone
          painting the garage, I want to work here near us. Tell
          him to leave. I want to bring Mr. Blasingame he does not
          the upstairs bed, down, into need to finish painting the
          the back room. Cowboy you garage, I want him to leave.
          cannot play inside the house I want to bring the upstairs
          anymore you must go outside. bed, down, into the back
          Inside you have to be quiet. room. Cowboy, ah-shee dah
          Elizabeth you only go to thah-sh-kaht-sey eh-nah(n).
          school when your father takes Tsee dah dai-ee-shee ah-hah
          you. No one else can take you oh-knee theen-kah thee.
          to school, just your father. Elizabeth you only go to
          Ernest, you will pick up my school when your father takes
          insulin from the train. You you. Thee-thaht-sey eh-nah(n)
          alone. Do not take it from thee-eh dah-poh-skah-tsee ah-
          the Shoun Brothers. theen-ah-they dah-kxai.
          Ernest, you will pick up my
          insulin from the train. You
          alone. Do not take it from
          the Shoun Brothers.

          ERNEST
          ...(he nods)

          MOLLIE MOLLIE
          Baby Anna is sick with Baby Anna is sick with
          whooping cough and she needs whooping cough and she needs
          care. I cannot nurse care. Oh-kah-shey broots-ah-
          her,because of my illness. key. Ah(n) who-heck-ah
          She might make you both sick mee(n)kshey kah-kah(n) bah-
          if she stays here. zey ee(n) broots-ah-key.
          I want her to live with Thahn-tsey who-heck-ah thee-
          brother and sister Bigheart. kshee-they dah-kxai.
          This will make her better and I want her to live with
          cure her cough. brother and sister Bigheart.
          Ernest, will you please make This will make her better
          these things happen for me? and cure her cough.
          Ernest, Dah-dah(n) shkee ahn-
          thah-kshee-theh dah nee(n)-
          ksheh?

          ERNEST
          Yes, Mollie.

          CUT TO:
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 96.
          Genres: ["Drama"]

          Summary In this scene, Ernest learns from the Shoun brothers how to administer insulin to Mollie, who is suffering from a mysterious illness. Hale tries to ease Ernest's concerns, but he remains hesitant. Meanwhile, Mollie confides in a priest about her fears and the priest advises her to avoid drinking whiskey. The scene ends with Mollie giving instructions to her family members about her illness and Ernest agreeing to fulfill her requests.
          Strengths
          • Strong emotional impact
          • Compelling conflict
          • Well-defined characters
          Weaknesses
          • Lack of unique or innovative elements

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 8

          The scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil within the family, as well as the ethical dilemma faced by Ernest. The dialogue is impactful and the stakes are high, creating a compelling narrative.


          Story Content

          Concept: 7

          The concept of a family grappling with a life-threatening illness and the moral choices they must make is engaging and thought-provoking. However, it is not entirely unique or innovative.

          Plot: 8

          The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Ernest's desire to protect his wife and his father-in-law's insistence on administering the medication. It is well-developed and drives the emotional tension.

          Originality: 7

          The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist dealing with a loved one's illness is not entirely unique, the specific dynamics and conflicts presented in this scene add freshness to the familiar theme. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters are well-defined and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. Ernest's internal struggle and Mollie's fear are particularly compelling.

          Character Changes: 7

          While there is not significant character development within this scene alone, it sets up the potential for Ernest's internal conflict and growth throughout the story.

          Internal Goal: 8

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a way to take care of his wife and daughter while dealing with his own fears and doubts. It reflects his deeper need to protect and provide for his family, as well as his fear of losing them.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to follow the instructions given by the Shoun Brothers and take care of his wife's insulin. It reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing in managing his wife's illness.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 9

          The conflict between Ernest and his father-in-law, as well as Mollie's deteriorating health, creates a high level of tension and emotional stakes in the scene.

          Opposition: 7

          The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges from external factors (the Shoun Brothers' instructions) and internal conflicts (his own doubts and fears). The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

          High Stakes: 9

          The stakes are high as Mollie's health is at risk and Ernest must make a difficult decision that could have serious consequences. The audience is invested in the outcome.

          Story Forward: 8

          The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the deteriorating health of Mollie and the moral dilemma faced by Ernest. It sets up future conflicts and decisions.

          Unpredictability: 6

          This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected challenges and conflicts for the protagonist. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate these obstacles and what choices he will make.

          Philosophical Conflict: 6

          There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in miracles and his realization that he needs to take action to help his wife. This challenges his belief in relying solely on faith and confronts him with the responsibility of making his own miracles.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 9

          The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly fear and concern for Mollie's well-being. The audience is deeply invested in the characters' struggles.

          Dialogue: 8

          The dialogue is impactful and reveals the conflicting perspectives and emotions of the characters. It effectively conveys the tension and moral dilemma of the scene.

          Engagement: 8

          This scene is engaging because it presents a compelling conflict and emotional stakes for the protagonist. The dialogue and actions of the characters create tension and keep the audience invested in the outcome.

          Pacing: 8

          The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and emotional reflection. It keeps the audience engaged and allows for the development of the characters' internal struggles.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions in a professional and organized manner.

          Structure: 9

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the characters, establishes the setting, and presents the conflict and resolution in a clear and coherent manner.


          Critique
          • The scene is effective in advancing the plot and revealing the ongoing conflicts in the story. However, the dialogue between Ernest, Hale, and Byron feels rushed and lacks depth. It would be more impactful if the conversation between Ernest and Hale was extended to explore Ernest's resistance to the insulin in more detail. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help convey the seriousness of Mollie's illness and the urgency of the situation.
          • The scene in the Catholic church is powerful in its portrayal of Mollie's fear and vulnerability. However, the priest's questions about potential threats feel abrupt and lack context. It would be more effective if the priest's inquiry was preceded by a conversation about Mollie's recent experiences and the ongoing murders in Osage. This would help to establish a clearer connection between Mollie's illness and the larger themes of the story.
          • The family meeting scene is well-written and effectively communicates the seriousness of Mollie's illness and the need for action. However, the dialogue between Mollie and Ernest could benefit from more emotional depth. It would be more impactful if Mollie's instructions to Ernest were delivered with more urgency and desperation, as this would help to convey the gravity of the situation.
          Suggestions
          • Extend the conversation between Ernest and Hale to explore Ernest's resistance to the insulin in more detail. This could involve Hale sharing more information about the insulin and its effects, as well as discussing the potential consequences of not administering it. This would help to establish a clearer understanding of Ernest's perspective and the reasons behind his resistance.
          • Precede the priest's inquiry about potential threats with a conversation about Mollie's recent experiences and the ongoing murders in Osage. This would help to establish a clearer connection between Mollie's illness and the larger themes of the story, and would also help to build tension and suspense.
          • Increase the emotional depth of Mollie's instructions to Ernest by delivering them with more urgency and desperation. This could involve Mollie using more urgent language and gestures, as well as emphasizing the seriousness of the situation. This would help to convey the gravity of the situation and the urgency of the actions being taken.



          Scene 33 -  Mollie's Illness and Tom White's Investigation
          159 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – LATER 159

          The Bighearts come and take the baby. Mollie hands over Baby
          Anna. Ernest watching, Cowboy and Elizabeth say ‘good-bye’ to
          their little sister.

          Mollie closes herself off in the back room, like a tomb.

          CUT TO:
          160 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – AFTERNOON 160

          CU. MOLLIE in the bed downstairs now, half asleep. She hears
          a strange sound. She looks over. An OWL walks into her room.

          She looks back, Ernest is standing there with an insulin
          needle. He walks in.

          Ernest looks at her, she looks at him, loving eyes and he
          gives her the shot.



          161 OMITTED 161



          162 CONTINUOUS - 162

          CU. MOLLIE - half dreaming -

          MOLLIE
          ... I can hear Inlonshka... I hear
          the dances.

          ERNEST
          ... It’s not that time of year,
          darlin’.

          MOLLIE
          (TO ERNEST)
          My mother came for me, to dance
          with her. I told her I can’t dance
          anymore...

          ERNEST
          That’s just a dream, honey.


          MOLLIE
          She said I was dying. She wasn’t
          going to let me die alone.
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 97.


          ERNEST
          Dream’s are like dying... but just
          for awhile... only you come back...

          MOLLIE
          She said the man is here.

          ERNEST
          What man?

          MOLLIE
          The man in the hat. I want to talk
          to the man in the hat.



          163 THERE’S A KNOCKING ON THE SCREEN DOOR. ERNEST COMES OUT INTO 163
          THE HALLWAY…TO SEE OUTSIDE, THROUGH THE SCREEN DOOR:

          A MAN IN A HAT. This is TOM WHITE, FBI.

          ERNEST
          Who’s that?

          TOM WHITE
          Mr. Burkhart?

          ERNEST
          Who is that?

          TOM WHITE
          My name is Tom White, I’m with the
          Bureau of Investigation.

          ERNEST
          What’s that?

          TOM WHITE
          - Sent down from Washington, D.C.
          to see about these murders.

          Ernest comes to the door... he sees, standing back by their
          car are two more agents: JOHN BURGER and FRANK SMITH (white,
          40s)

          ERNEST
          ...see what about it?

          TOM WHITE
          See who’s doing it.

          ERNEST
          ...are you a Pinkerton?
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 98.


          TOM WHITE
          Well, no, I was a Texas Ranger. I’m
          now with the Federal Government,
          called the Bureau of Investigation.

          ERNEST
          If you’ve got questions go see the
          Sheriff.

          TOM WHITE
          Yes I have talked with him, but I’m
          here for Mollie Burkhart whose
          sisters and mother are dead.

          ERNEST
          I’m Ernest Burkhart, her husband
          and she’s not well right now, but
          you can call on her another time.

          TOM WHITE
          Tomorrow?

          ERNEST
          Tomorrow’s too soon. Come back on
          Friday.

          TOM WHITE
          Is she home right now?

          ERNEST
          She has diabetes.

          TOM WHITE
          Does she?

          ERNEST
          She’s resting and I’m caring for
          her – so come back on Friday.

          TOM WHITE
          I’ll do that.



          164 TWO OR THREE WHITE GUYS TAKING TURNS FIRING AT A BELL. 164
          Genres: ["Drama","Mystery","Crime"]

          Summary Ernest tries to prevent FBI agent Tom White from questioning Mollie, who is unwell and experiencing strange occurrences such as an owl entering her room. Mollie shares a dream about her mother dancing with her and expresses a desire to speak with the mysterious man in the hat.
          Strengths
          • Emotional depth
          • Mysterious atmosphere
          • Strong dialogue
          Weaknesses
          • Lack of visual description

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 8

          The scene effectively conveys the somber mood and introduces a new element of mystery and tension with the arrival of the FBI agent. The dialogue between Mollie and Ernest adds depth to their relationship and hints at Mollie's deteriorating health.


          Story Content

          Concept: 7

          The concept of the scene revolves around the aftermath of the baby being taken away and the introduction of the FBI agent. It effectively sets up future conflicts and investigations.

          Plot: 7

          The plot of the scene focuses on Mollie's emotional state and the arrival of the FBI agent. It moves the story forward by introducing new elements and potential conflicts.

          Originality: 4

          The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. The situations and dialogue are fairly conventional and do not offer any fresh approaches. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and realistic.


          Character Development

          Characters: 8

          The characters in the scene, particularly Mollie and Ernest, are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively conveyed through their dialogue and actions.

          Character Changes: 7

          Mollie undergoes a subtle change in the scene as she opens up about her dreams and fears. This adds depth to her character and foreshadows potential character development in the future.

          Internal Goal: 8

          Mollie's internal goal in this scene is to find comfort and connection with her deceased mother. This reflects her deeper need for emotional support and her fear of dying alone.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to protect Mollie and ensure her well-being. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the FBI investigation into the murders of Mollie's sisters and mother.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 6

          The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, with Mollie's emotional turmoil and the potential conflict between her and the FBI agent. The arrival of the FBI agent also hints at external conflicts to come.

          Opposition: 7

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the FBI agents represent a potential threat to the protagonist and her family. The audience is left uncertain about their intentions and how they will affect the protagonist's life.

          High Stakes: 7

          The stakes in the scene are high for Mollie and Ernest, as they are dealing with the loss of their baby and the potential investigation into the murders. The arrival of the FBI agent raises the stakes even further.

          Story Forward: 8

          The scene moves the story forward by introducing the FBI agent and setting up potential investigations into the murders. It also deepens the emotional stakes for Mollie and Ernest.

          Unpredictability: 7

          This scene is unpredictable because the appearance of Tom White and the FBI agents adds a new layer of complexity to the story. The audience is left wondering about their intentions and how they will impact the protagonist's life.

          Philosophical Conflict: 0

          There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 8

          The scene has a strong emotional impact, particularly through Mollie's dialogue and her revelation about her deteriorating health. It elicits feelings of sadness, anxiety, and curiosity.

          Dialogue: 8

          The dialogue in the scene is poignant and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. It effectively conveys the emotions and tensions present in the scene.

          Engagement: 6

          This scene is engaging because it introduces a new character, Tom White, who brings a new element of mystery and intrigue to the story. The dialogue between the characters also creates tension and raises questions about the ongoing investigation.

          Pacing: 8

          The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, and dialogue in the correct format.

          Structure: 7

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear setting and introduces the characters and their goals. The scene progresses with dialogue and actions that advance the plot.


          Critique
          • The scene starts with a clear visual of the Bighearts taking Baby Anna away, which sets the tone for the emotional weight of the scene. However, the dialogue between Ernest, Cowboy, and Elizabeth feels rushed and lacks depth. It would be more impactful if the audience could see the emotional connection between the siblings and understand their relationship with Anna. This could be achieved through a few lines of dialogue or a brief flashback.
          • The scene then cuts to Mollie in a half-dream state, which is a powerful visual. However, the dialogue between Mollie and Ernest feels disjointed and confusing. It's unclear whether Mollie is still dreaming or if she's fully awake. This could be clarified through a line of dialogue or a visual cue.
          • The introduction of Tom White from the FBI adds tension to the scene, but Ernest's resistance to letting him talk to Mollie feels forced. It would be more believable if Ernest had a clear reason for wanting to protect Mollie, such as her fragile health or a fear of reopening old wounds.
          • The scene ends with Tom White agreeing to come back on Friday, but it's unclear why Ernest insists on waiting so long. This could be explained through a line of dialogue or a flashback that reveals a previous encounter between Tom White and Mollie's family.
          • Overall, the scene has strong visual elements and emotional weight, but the dialogue needs to be more clear and impactful to fully engage the audience.
          Suggestions
          • Add a few lines of dialogue between Cowboy, Elizabeth, and Baby Anna to establish their emotional connection with her. This could be done through a flashback or a brief conversation before they leave.
          • Clarify whether Mollie is still dreaming or if she's fully awake through a line of dialogue or a visual cue.
          • Establish a clear reason for Ernest's resistance to letting Tom White talk to Mollie. This could be done through a line of dialogue or a flashback that reveals a previous encounter between Tom White and Mollie's family.
          • Explain why Ernest insists on waiting so long for Tom White to come back. This could be done through a line of dialogue or a flashback that reveals a previous encounter between Tom White and Mollie's family.



          Scene 34 -  Uncovering Family Secrets and Community Tensions
          165 EXT./INT. TENT/TOWN DANCE OR PARTY OR PICNIC – DUSK 165

          The whole town has gathered for a dance/party/picnic. Osage
          and whites and everyone.
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 99.


          A band is playing – through the band we see an OLDER OSAGE
          COUPLE moving through the dancers with JOHN WREN (part-Ute)
          bringing him to meet a few Osage Council Members who are
          chatting with Mollie’s Catholic Priest. At first cautious,
          Wren then receives a warm welcome.

          OSAGE COUPLE
          This here’s John Wren. Friend of
          cousin Mary. He’s come looking for
          family.

          COUNCIL MEMBER
          Welcome. [Asks a Question]

          JOHN WREN
          I’ve been told I have Osage
          relations in Hominy. Mary was kind
          enough to take me in.

          COUNCIL MEMBER
          Where are you from, [MORE] etc.

          Ernest rushes through them as they’re speaking acting frantic
          and skittish to report news of Tom White. Hale has just
          finished dancing, out of breath, taking a seat. Ernest grabs
          Bill Hale tries to take him to the side.

          Hale agitated sees his manner and tells him to stop and
          settle himself.

          Things get heated. Hale loses his cool and grabs him by the
          back of the neck like a child and squeezes, pushes him down,
          pushes his face into his own knees. This is noticed by some
          people. The couple with John Wren and the Council member(s)
          witness it. It’s over as soon as it started, Hale hoping to
          make it all go away.

          Ernest settles down, says a few words more but is cut off by
          Hale walking away, getting back on the dance floor and
          finding Myrtie. He seems concerned. Ernest leaves.

          CUT TO:
          166 EXT. HALE’S RANCH – DAY 166

          Hale looking over his cattle. He seems pre-occupied, seems to
          be selling off some large piece of his empire…

          He is introduced to CJ ROBINSON (white, 30s). They shake
          hands and begin negotiating on a sale...
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 100.


          HALE
          Where you up from?


          CJ ROBINSON
          Kendrick.... How’s the rain been?

          HALE
          Can’t complain.

          CJ ROBINSON
          We could use a little more down my
          way.... Right...

          HALE
          Well, let’s make a price on this…

          CJ ROBINSON
          I’d like to take a look first -

          HALE
          Good let’s make this quick.

          CUT TO:
          167 INT. FAIRFAX CAFÉ – DAY 167

          Tom White has come to meet with the Tribal Council.

          CHIEF BONNICASTLE
          Have you seen the lights burning in
          our streets?

          TOM WHITE
          I have.

          CHIEF BONNICASTLE
          Why are you here now?

          TOM WHITE
          I’ve only just been asked to come.

          PAUL RED EAGLE
          Is that because McBride was
          killed... a white man?... Or that
          we paid the Government $20,000?

          TOM WHITE
          I don’t think it’s too late to find
          out who’s doing this...
          KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 101.


          PAUL RED EAGLE
          It isn’t just who... it’s how many
          dead. We’ve lost count.

          CHIEF BONNICASTLE
          In the old days we would fight
          these people. Twenty years ago I
          fought overseas in The Boxer
          Rebellion. I was one of the first
          to climb over that Great Wall. I
          knew who my enemy was and I knew
          who I had to kill. If we could find
          these people we would fight them.
          But now this invisible enemy we
          cannot see. We can’t trust any of
          the local officials. We can’t trust
          the state government. We can’t
          trust the Bureau of Affairs
          officials. We can’t trust our
          neighbor. We can’t trust the local
          pastor. We can’t trust the morgue,
          the morticians, funeral homes. We
          can’t trust you. We can’t trust
          anybody. We don’t see any stop.
          [Beat] Try to make it stop.

          CUT TO:
          Genres: ["Drama"]

          Summary As the town gathers for a dance, John Wren seeks information about his Osage heritage from council members and a priest. Meanwhile, Hale's suspicions boil over as Ernest delivers news of Tom White's return. CJ Robinson negotiates a sale with Hale, and the Tribal Council expresses their distrust towards the community. The scene ends with Tom White meeting with the council.
          Strengths
          • Engaging dialogue
          • Effective establishment of atmosphere and conflicts
          • Introduction of new characters
          Weaknesses

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 8

            The scene effectively establishes the atmosphere and conflicts within the community, introduces new characters, and hints at the larger mystery. The dialogue and character interactions are engaging, and the scene moves the story forward.


            Story Content

            Concept: 7

            The concept of exploring the tensions and mistrust within a community affected by crimes is intriguing. The scene effectively sets up potential conflicts and introduces new characters.

            Plot: 8

            The plot progresses as tensions rise within the community and new characters are introduced. The scene sets up potential conflicts and hints at the larger mystery.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a community gathering and the themes of trust and identity are familiar, the specific dynamics and conflicts between the characters add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


            Character Development

            Characters: 8

            The characters are well-defined and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. The scene introduces new characters and establishes their relationships with existing characters.

            Character Changes: 7

            While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets up potential character arcs and hints at the internal struggles the characters may face.

            Internal Goal: 7

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that they are seeking a sense of belonging and connection with their Osage relatives. This reflects their deeper need for family and a sense of identity.

            External Goal: 6

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to meet and connect with their Osage relatives in Hominy. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, as they are in a new town and trying to establish a connection with their family.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 8

            The scene contains both internal and external conflicts. The internal conflicts arise from the tensions and mistrust within the community, while the external conflicts are hinted at through the mention of crimes and the larger mystery.

            Opposition: 7

            The opposition in this scene is strong as it involves conflicts between characters, such as Hale and Ernest, and the larger conflict of the Osage community facing mistrust and danger. The audience is unsure of how these conflicts will be resolved.

            High Stakes: 8

            The scene establishes the high stakes by highlighting the tensions and mistrust within the community, the potential conflicts, and the larger mystery that needs to be solved.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters, setting up potential conflicts, and hinting at the larger mystery. It adds depth to the overall narrative.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected actions and conflicts, such as Hale losing his cool and the Chief expressing deep mistrust. These elements add intrigue and keep the audience guessing about the direction of the story.

            Philosophical Conflict: 8

            There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene regarding trust and the lack thereof. The Chief Bonnicastle expresses the deep mistrust the Osage community feels towards various institutions and individuals, highlighting the challenges they face in trying to find justice and safety.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 7

            The scene evokes emotions such as tension, concern, and agitation through the character interactions and the atmosphere of mistrust.

            Dialogue: 9

            The dialogue is engaging and reveals information about the characters and their relationships. It effectively conveys the tensions and emotions within the scene.

            Engagement: 8

            This scene is engaging because it introduces multiple conflicts and raises questions about the characters' motivations and the larger mystery surrounding the Osage community. The tension and emotional stakes keep the audience invested in the story.

            Pacing: 8

            The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and conflict with quieter moments of dialogue and reflection. This creates a rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue in a clear and organized manner.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals and conflicts, and sets up future events.


            Critique
            • The scene starts with a lot of exposition, introducing multiple characters and their relationships. This can be overwhelming for the audience and may cause them to lose focus on the dialogue and action. To improve this, consider cutting some of the exposition and introducing these characters and relationships more gradually throughout the script.
            • The dialogue between John Wren and the Osage Council Members feels forced and unnatural. This could be due to the fact that the actors are not fully immersed in their roles or that the dialogue is not grounded in the characters' motivations and experiences. To improve this, consider working with the actors to develop more authentic and organic dialogue that reflects the cultural and historical context of the story.
            • The scene between Ernest and Hale is intense and emotional, but it feels rushed and abrupt. This could be due to the fact that the tension between the two characters has not been fully established. To improve this, consider building up to this scene with more subtle and nuanced interactions between Ernest and Hale, allowing the audience to fully understand the source of their conflict.
            • The scene between Tom White and the Tribal Council feels disconnected from the rest of the script. This could be due to the fact that Tom White's presence in the story has not been fully explained or justified. To improve this, consider introducing Tom White earlier in the script and establishing his role in the story more clearly.
            • The scene between Hale and CJ Robinson feels like a missed opportunity. This could be due to the fact that the conversation between the two characters is too focused on the sale and not enough on the larger themes and conflicts of the story. To improve this, consider incorporating more dialogue and action that explores the power dynamics and tensions between Hale and CJ Robinson, as well as their relationship to the larger historical context of the story.
            Suggestions
            • Consider starting the scene with a more focused and intimate interaction between Ernest and Hale, allowing the audience to fully understand the source of their conflict before introducing other characters and dialogue.
            • Consider introducing John Wren earlier in the script, perhaps in a scene where he is trying to find his Osage relations and encounters some resistance or hostility from the local community.
            • Consider building up to the scene between Ernest and Hale with more subtle and nuanced interactions between the two characters, allowing the audience to fully understand the source of their conflict before the sudden and intense confrontation.
            • Consider introducing Tom White earlier in the script, perhaps in a scene where he is investigating the murders of Mollie's family members and encounters some resistance or hostility from the local community.
            • Consider incorporating more dialogue and action that explores the power dynamics and tensions between Hale and CJ Robinson, as well as their relationship to the larger historical context of the story, such as discussions about land ownership, cultural assimilation, and the role of the Osage people in the larger political and economic landscape of the time.



            Scene 35 -  Hale's Insurance Dispute and Agents' Investigation
            168 INT. INSURANCE OFFICE – DAY 168

            We’re in the middle of HALE losing his temper with an
            INSURANCE MAN named JOE JONES and his PARTNER.

            HALE
            No, no, no, it’s $25,000 come due
            on Henry Roan – he’s been dead
            months! I want my Henry Roan money.

            JOE JONES
            You’ll have to argue that out with
            Denver. They’re contesting the
            payment.

            HALE
            Who are you??

            JOE JONES
            I’m J.T. Jones, I’m from the Denver
            office.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 102.


            HALE
            This is not a Denver problem, this
            is a Fairfax problem.

            JOE JONES
            I’m just telling you if we wire
            Denver, (that’s how we can settle
            this) –

            HALE
            Don’t say Denver, it’s not Denver,
            it’s Fairfax. Give me my Henry Roan
            Money. Write that note.

            Silence. Hale storms out. Bumps into John Wren coming in
            with two Osage men. John Wren gives him a shady look.

            CUT TO:
            169 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME - 169

            Mollie’s in bed somewhat delirious. Ernest is giving her a
            shot.

            MOLLIE
            ... she has no face...she has no
            face...

            ERNEST
            What?

            MOLLIE
            Anna... She can’t rest... We didn’t
            smoke her to the sky. Wakonda
            doesn’t know her.

            Ernest putting away the needle. Getting scared.

            ERNEST
            No Mollie. But you smoked the
            house. Remember?

            He looks and stops - sees that Mollie’s head has nodded back.
            Lost in another world. Ernest gets up to put away the
            medicine.
            170 INT. SHOUN BROTHERS OFFICE - DAY 170

            Agents Frank Smith and John Burger in the Shoun Brothers
            office.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 103.


            JAMES SHOUN
            I think you need to see the Justice
            of the Peace, he has the inquest
            records about Anna Brown’s death.

            JOHN BURGER
            -- Those records have gone missing
            from his desk –

            JAMES SHOUN
            So then you need the Undertaker
            Turton, he’s all the details you
            might need, he kept the skull -

            JOHN BURGER
            Seen him too and that’s what brings
            us to you – possible you lost the
            bullet that killed her?

            JAMES SHOUN
            Well no, because we never found it.

            FRANK SMITH
            That’s why you were tearing up the
            brain, looking for the bullet?

            JAMES SHOUN
            Yes that’s right. The condition of
            the corpse was so bad because she
            had been dead for five or six
            days. Then we exhumed her.

            FRANK SMITH
            Why did you cut the body up into
            small pieces and cleave the flesh
            from the limbs with a meat ax?

            DAVID SHOUN
            We were looking for the bullet.

            FRANK SMITH
            Ah huh.

            DAVID SHOUN
            You know, this is really a matter
            for the Indian Tribal Council, you
            should see Chief Bonnicastle.

            FRANK SMITH
            What’s he going to tell me?

            DAVID SHOUN
            This is Indian country, they have
            their own ways.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 104.


            FRANK SMITH
            ...

            CUT TO:
            Genres: ["Drama","Mystery"]

            Summary In this scene, Hale argues with insurance agents Joe Jones and his partner over a $25,000 debt on Henry Roan's policy. Meanwhile, Mollie is delirious in bed, and Ernest gives her a shot. Elsewhere, agents Frank Smith and John Burger question the Shoun Brothers about Anna Brown's death and a missing bullet.
            Strengths
            • Tense dialogue
            • Intriguing conflicts
            • Mysterious atmosphere
            Weaknesses
            • Limited emotional impact
            • Minimal character change

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 8

            The scene effectively builds tension and introduces conflict between the characters. It also provides important information about the insurance payment issue and Mollie's condition.


            Story Content

            Concept: 7

            The concept of insurance payment dispute and the mystery surrounding Anna Brown's death are intriguing elements in the scene.

            Plot: 8

            The plot progresses as Hale confronts Joe Jones and demands his money. The introduction of John Wren and Mollie's delirium adds depth to the story.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and challenges faced by the protagonist are familiar in the context of a drama or thriller, the specific details and dialogue add a fresh and unique perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


            Character Development

            Characters: 9

            The characters are well-defined and their conflicts and motivations are clearly portrayed. Hale's anger, Joe Jones' attempts to resolve the issue, and John Wren's shady look create intrigue.

            Character Changes: 6

            There is minimal character change in this scene. Hale remains angry and determined, while Joe Jones tries to resolve the issue.

            Internal Goal: 8

            Hale's internal goal in this scene is to get his money from the insurance company. This reflects his deeper need for financial security and his fear of being cheated or taken advantage of.

            External Goal: 7

            Hale's external goal in this scene is to argue with the insurance man and his partner to get his money. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in dealing with the insurance company's refusal to pay.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The conflict between Hale and Joe Jones is intense and drives the scene forward. The shady look from John Wren adds another layer of conflict.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong, with the insurance company refusing to pay the protagonist and the mention of a missing bullet in Anna Brown's death. The audience is left uncertain about how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

            High Stakes: 8

            The stakes are high for Hale, who wants his money, and for Joe Jones, who is trying to resolve the issue. Mollie's delirium adds a sense of urgency.

            Story Forward: 8

            The scene moves the story forward by introducing the insurance payment dispute and providing a glimpse into Mollie's condition.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces various conflicts and challenges for the protagonist, such as the insurance company contesting the payment and the mention of a missing bullet in Anna Brown's death. The audience is left wondering how these conflicts will be resolved.

            Philosophical Conflict: 0

            There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 7

            The scene evokes tension and curiosity, but the emotional impact is not as strong as in other scenes.

            Dialogue: 8

            The dialogue is sharp and reflects the tension between the characters. It effectively conveys their emotions and motivations.

            Engagement: 9

            This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the insurance company, as well as hints at a mysterious death and the involvement of the Indian Tribal Council. The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, keeping the audience invested in the outcome of the scene.

            Pacing: 8

            The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and balancing dialogue with action. The scene moves at a brisk pace, keeping the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding conflicts.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines in a clear and organized manner.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then moves between different locations, each with its own set of characters and conflicts.


            Critique
            • The scene lacks clear objectives for each character. It is not clear what Hale wants to achieve by arguing with Joe Jones and his partner, or why John Wren is meeting with the Osage men. The lack of clear objectives makes the scene feel disjointed and confusing.
            • The dialogue in the scene feels repetitive and does not provide new information or advance the plot. The conversation between Hale and Joe Jones goes back and forth without any resolution or progress.
            • The transition between the different locations is abrupt and confusing. It is not clear how the scene transitions from the insurance office to Mollie's home and then to the Shoun Brothers office. The lack of clear transitions disrupts the flow of the scene.
            • The dialogue between James Shoun and the agents feels forced and unnatural. The agents' questions and James' responses do not flow smoothly and the conversation lacks a sense of realism.
            • The scene lacks visual elements or actions that could enhance the storytelling. There are missed opportunities to show the characters' emotions or create visual interest.
            • The overall pacing of the scene is slow and it feels longer than necessary. The lack of clear objectives and repetitive dialogue contribute to the slow pacing.
            • The scene lacks a strong emotional impact. The somber and tense tone mentioned in the previous descriptions is not effectively conveyed in the scene.
            Suggestions
            • Clarify the objectives of each character in the scene. What do they want to achieve or accomplish? This will help create a sense of purpose and drive the scene forward.
            • Revise the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Cut out repetitive exchanges and focus on delivering new information or advancing the plot.
            • Improve the transitions between locations by using clear cues or visual elements. This will help the audience understand where the scene is taking place and prevent confusion.
            • Work on making the dialogue between James Shoun and the agents more natural and realistic. Consider how real people would respond in those situations and revise the dialogue accordingly.
            • Add visual elements or actions that enhance the storytelling and create visual interest. This could include showing the characters' emotions through their body language or incorporating visually striking moments.
            • Streamline the scene by removing any unnecessary dialogue or actions that slow down the pacing. Focus on the key moments and information that are essential to the plot.
            • Find ways to intensify the emotional impact of the scene. This could be achieved through the characters' reactions, the use of visual symbolism, or the delivery of powerful lines.



            Scene 36 -  Hale Investigates the Murders and Warns of Danger
            171 INT. FAIRFAX POOL HALL/BARBER SHOP - DAY 171

            Hale is in the barber chair. The BARBER at work. TOM WHITE
            looms over Hale...

            HALE
            What took you so long to get here?

            TOM WHITE
            I’ve only just been assigned to
            come down here a week ago, Mr Hale.

            HALE
            Assigned by who? The President?

            TOM WHITE
            No, sir. By J. Edgar Hoover.

            HALE
            Well, I don’t know him.

            TOM WHITE
            I heard you’re the King of the
            Osage Hills - so you might be the
            man to talk to.

            HALE
            mm... seems to me... this murder
            in the air is at the hand of most
            likely a band of men from outside
            these parts. Possibly negroes. (You
            saw what happened in Tulsa.) No
            proof - just my hunch.


            Then there’s just bad luck - Anna
            Brown - nasty mouth. Henry Roan?
            Melancholic you know. Charlie
            Whitehorn? Now he was a great
            man....

            TOM WHITE
            What about the other dead Osage?
            Joe Grayhorse? Joe Bates... 25, 30
            we keep counting... Seems like
            you’ve got one hell of an epidemic
            here... Anna Sanford? Bill...
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 105.


            HALE
            (interrupting him)
            Stepson. Bill Stepson. Yeah. [beat]
            Seems like you need to speak with
            our Justice of the Peace.

            TOM WHITE
            wasn’t very helpful.

            HALE
            The Principal Chief?

            TOM WHITE
            I saw him too.

            HALE
            Well we want to put a finish to
            this death business, but I don’t
            like speaking while I’m in the
            chair, this is a quiet place but
            I’d be happy to meet you when you
            have questions.
            172 INT. MOVIE THEATER – 172

            An AL JENNINGS WESTERN is playing. We see BLACKIE watching
            it. We hear Hale who is seated behind him -

            HALE (QUIET)
            Blackie?... Government men have
            come around.

            BLACKIE
            ...

            HALE
            Stirring.

            BLACKIE
            (still looking at the
            screen)
            I’ve done my time.

            HALE
            No use staying around someplace
            when there’s trouble. I owe you for
            what you did for my nephew and
            stood pat... on that roadster dee-
            bacle. Just spend time down
            someplace else - that place in
            Drumright - negro janitor opens at
            sunrise.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 106.


            BLACKIE
            Drumright...

            CUT TO:
            173 EXT. DRUMRIGHT BANK – 173

            WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BANK ROBBERY/VIOLENT SHOOT-OUT WITH
            BLACKIE THOMPSON who is robbing the bank with three other men
            and his Wife…

            Blackie shoots the police officer, dead... It all ends with
            Blackie and all of them handcuffed, arrested. We hear -

            CUT TO:
            174 INT. BALLET SCHOOL/FAIRFAX – DAY 174

            Mostly Osage girls doing exercises at a ballet barre.

            BOB MOUNT (V.O.)
            Thank you, Bill, for your support
            of this town and this beautiful
            dance school. Bill Hale, our
            sponsor...
            175 EXT. FAIRFAX STREET – DAY – SAME MOMENT 175

            Outside, Bill Hale is giving away PONIES to the girls. An
            Osage and white crowd has gathered. Hale presents a pony to
            one of the girls.

            Nearby John Wren is helping an Osage family find something
            near an alley -(with a dousing-type tool)

            Hale takes BOB MOUNT (white, 50s) aside with his
            granddaughters.

            HALE
            Did your girls get a pony?

            BOB MOUNT
            Yes they did, thank you Bill.

            HALE
            I’d like you to keep a watchful eye
            on your business tonight.
            (MORE)
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 107.

            HALE (CONT'D)
            I have heard that your store is set-
            up for a robbery at 11pm. Might
            have heard about them gems you
            stashed. It’s two whites and a
            negro.

            BOB MOUNT
            Thank you, brother.

            CUT TO:
            Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

            Summary As Hale sits in a barber chair, Tom White discusses the murders with him. Hale suggests speaking to the Justice of the Peace and warns Blackie to leave town. Meanwhile, Blackie and three other men rob a bank in Drumright and are arrested. Hale gives away ponies to girls at a ballet school and warns Bob Mount of a potential robbery at his store.
            Strengths
            • Engaging dialogue
            • Establishing the tone and setting
            • Introducing important plot elements
            Weaknesses
            • Lack of visual descriptions and action
            • Limited character development

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 8

            The scene effectively establishes the tone of the story and introduces important plot elements. The dialogue is engaging and reveals information about the characters and their motivations. However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and action to enhance the overall impact.


            Story Content

            Concept: 7

            The concept of a crime drama set in the Osage Hills during a time of racial tension is intriguing. The scene introduces the main conflict and sets up the potential for further exploration of the murder mystery and robbery plot.

            Plot: 8

            The plot is well-developed in this scene, with the introduction of multiple murders and the investigation by Tom White. The mention of the robbery plot adds another layer of intrigue and raises the stakes for the characters.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and the characters' actions are familiar, the specific details and the dialogue add a fresh perspective to the story. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


            Character Development

            Characters: 7

            The characters are introduced effectively through their dialogue and interactions. Hale is portrayed as a powerful and knowledgeable figure, while Tom White is shown as determined and resourceful. However, more depth and development could be added to the characters to make them more memorable.

            Character Changes: 5

            There is minimal character change in this scene, as it primarily serves to introduce the characters and establish their roles in the story.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to provide information and assistance to Tom White, the government man investigating the murders. This reflects Hale's desire to help solve the murders and put an end to the death business in his town.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to warn Bob Mount about a potential robbery at his store. This reflects the immediate challenge of preventing the robbery and protecting the gems that are stashed in the store.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 8

            The conflict in this scene is primarily verbal, with Hale and Tom White discussing the murders and potential suspects. The mention of the robbery plot adds another layer of conflict and raises the stakes for the characters.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces challenges such as the government investigation and the potential robbery. The audience is unsure of how these obstacles will be overcome.

            High Stakes: 8

            The mention of multiple murders and the potential robbery plot raises the stakes for the characters and creates a sense of danger and urgency.

            Story Forward: 9

            This scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing important plot elements, such as the murders and the robbery plot. It sets up the conflict and raises the stakes for the characters.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the potential robbery and the government investigation. The audience is left wondering how these events will unfold and how the characters will respond.

            Philosophical Conflict: 0

            There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 6

            The emotional impact of this scene is relatively low, as it focuses more on exposition and setting up the plot. However, the mention of the murders and the potential danger creates a sense of suspense and anticipation.

            Dialogue: 9

            The dialogue is the highlight of this scene, providing insight into the characters' personalities, relationships, and the overall tone of the story. The exchanges between Hale and Tom White are engaging and reveal important information about the plot.

            Engagement: 9

            This scene is engaging because it introduces a government investigation, hints at racial tensions, and presents a potential robbery. The dialogue is concise and impactful, keeping the audience interested in the characters' actions and motivations.

            Pacing: 9

            The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The concise dialogue and the smooth transitions between locations contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a location and time description, introduces the characters and their dialogue, and transitions smoothly between different locations.


            Critique
            • The scene between Hale and Tom White in the barber shop is intriguing, but it could benefit from more context about the investigation and the potential suspects. The audience needs a clearer understanding of who these men are and why they are being considered as possible perpetrators. Additionally, the dialogue between Hale and Tom White could use more tension and conflict to keep the audience engaged. Hale's hunch about the potential involvement of negroes in the murders could be explored further, and Tom White's skepticism about Hale's theories could be developed. Overall, the scene needs more depth and complexity to make it more impactful.
            • The scene in the movie theater is brief and lacks any significant conflict or tension. The audience is left wondering why Hale is warning Blackie about the government men and what this could mean for the story. The scene could be expanded to provide more context about Blackie's involvement in the investigation and why he is being targeted by the authorities. Additionally, the scene could be used to develop the relationship between Hale and Blackie, which could have important consequences later in the story.
            • The scene in Drumright is intense and action-packed, but it feels disconnected from the rest of the story. The audience is not given enough context about Blackie's motivations for robbing the bank or why he is involved in the investigation. Additionally, the scene could be used to develop the relationship between Blackie and his wife, which could have important consequences later in the story. Overall, the scene needs more context and connection to the rest of the story to make it more impactful.
            • The scene at the ballet school is sweet and heartwarming, but it could use more tension and conflict to keep the audience engaged. The audience is not given enough context about the potential robbery at Bob Mount's store, and the scene could be used to develop the relationship between Hale and Bob Mount, which could have important consequences later in the story. Additionally, the scene could be used to develop the relationship between Hale and the Osage community, which could have important consequences later in the story.
            • The scene between Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers is brief and lacks any significant conflict or tension. The audience is left wondering why Frank Smith is questioning the Shoun Brothers about Anna Brown's death and the missing bullet. The scene could be expanded to provide more context about Frank Smith's investigation and why he is questioning the Shoun Brothers. Additionally, the scene could be used to develop the relationship between Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers, which could have important consequences later in the story.
            Suggestions
            • To make the scene between Hale and Tom White more impactful, the writer could consider adding more context about the investigation and the potential suspects. For example, the writer could consider adding a scene where Tom White interviews some of the potential suspects and discovers new evidence that supports Hale's theory about the involvement of negroes in the murders. This could create more tension and conflict between Tom White and Hale, as Tom White tries to reconcile his own beliefs with the evidence he is uncovering. Additionally, the writer could consider adding a scene where Hale and Tom White visit the Principal Chief to gather more information about the investigation and the potential suspects. This could create more tension and conflict between Hale and the Principal Chief, as Hale tries to gather information that could help him solve the case.
            • To make the scene in the movie theater more impactful, the writer could consider expanding the scene to provide more context about Blackie's involvement in the investigation. For example, the writer could consider adding a scene where Blackie confides in Hale about his involvement in the investigation and why he is being targeted by the authorities. This could create more tension and conflict between Blackie and the authorities, as Blackie tries to evade capture and solve the case. Additionally, the writer could consider adding a scene where Blackie and his wife discuss their involvement in the investigation and the potential consequences of their actions. This could create more tension and conflict between Blackie and his wife, as they try to reconcile their own beliefs with the evidence they are uncovering.
            • To make the scene in Drumright more impactful, the writer could consider expanding the scene to provide more context about Blackie's motivations for robbing the bank and why he is involved in the investigation. For example, the writer could consider adding a scene where Blackie confides in Hale about his involvement in the investigation and why he is being targeted by the authorities. This could create more tension and conflict between Blackie and the authorities, as Blackie tries to evade capture and solve the case. Additionally, the writer could consider adding a scene where Blackie and his wife discuss their involvement in the investigation and the potential consequences of their actions. This could create more tension and conflict between Blackie and his wife, as they try to reconcile their own beliefs with the evidence they are uncovering.
            • To make the scene at the ballet school more impactful, the writer could consider expanding the scene to provide more context about the potential robbery at Bob Mount's store and why Hale is warning him. For example, the writer could consider adding a scene where Hale confides in Bob Mount about the potential robbery and why he is warning him. This could create more tension and conflict between Hale and Bob Mount, as Bob Mount tries to reconcile his own beliefs with the evidence he is uncovering. Additionally, the writer could consider adding a scene where Hale and Bob Mount discuss their involvement in the investigation and the potential consequences of their actions. This could create more tension and conflict between Hale and Bob Mount, as they try to reconcile their own beliefs with the evidence they are uncovering.
            • To make the scene between Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers more impactful, the writer could consider expanding the scene to provide more context about Frank Smith's investigation and why he is questioning the Shoun Brothers. For example, the writer could consider adding a scene where Frank Smith confides in the Shoun Brothers about his investigation and why he is questioning them. This could create more tension and conflict between Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers, as Frank Smith tries to gather information that could help him solve the case. Additionally, the writer could consider adding a scene where Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers discuss their involvement in the investigation and the potential consequences of their actions. This could create more tension and conflict between Frank Smith and the Shoun Brothers, as they try to reconcile their own beliefs with the evidence they are uncovering.



            Scene 37 -  Betrayal and Consequences
            176 INT. BOARDING HOUSE – NIGHT 176

            Hale has come to see Acie Kirby and pays him $500.

            HALE
            Here’s the rest I owe you with
            great appreciation.

            ACIE
            You aware there’s Federal Agents
            around?

            HALE
            Ah.

            ACIE
            They looking into the blast.

            HALE
            …This isn’t Federal land, this is
            Indian land, so there’s no trouble
            that can come... good time to take
            a trip, there’s a nice opportunity
            if you can let me tell you of
            something?

            ACIE
            Sure.

            CUT TO:
            177 EXT. ANOTHER TOWN - SHOP SIGN: “R MOUNT - GROCERY” 177

            BOB MOUNT, WAITING AND READY WITH HIS SHOTGUN.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 108.


            Acie and two ASSOCIATES (one white, one black) break into Bob
            Mount’s store when Mount fires his shotgun at Acie - shooting
            him through the glass door.… Acie is dead on the street.

            CUT TO:
            178 EXT. HENRY GRAMMER’S RANCH/DISTILLERY – DAY 178

            AGENTS TOM WHITE, JOHN BURGER, AND FRANK SMITH stand at Henry
            Grammer’s hideout which has been quickly deserted. The
            Distillery Equipment has been knocked over, but fires still
            burn and stove’s are still hot. They comes across a lone OLD
            TIMER who doesn’t move...

            AGENT JOHN BURGER
            Where can we find Henry Grammer?

            OLD TIMER
            Angel came down and done spread her
            big ole wings inside his chest...
            he’s down there with the snakes...

            CUT TO:
            179 EXT. ROAD – NIGHT 179

            Henry Grammer with a strange look on his face is driving. We
            pan along with the car until it smashes violently into a
            tree. Henry Grammer is dead.

            CUT TO:
            180 EXT. HENRY GRAMMER’S RANCH/DISTILLERY 180

            AGENT JOHN BURGER
            When’d this happen?

            OLD TIMER
            Yesterday.
            181 EXT. FAIRFAX POOL HALL – DAY 181

            Through the window we see Ernest playing pool with John Wren.
            Feeling the pressure he sneaks a swig from a flask. Byron
            Burkhart arrives.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 109.


            BYRON
            Brother. Put that away.


            They exit.

            CUT TO:
            182 EXT. BACK ALLEY WAY – DAY 182

            Byron leads Ernest out and into a car. Hale is in the car.

            HALE
            If you’re charged – if anything
            happens - you can beat it.

            ERNEST
            What are you talking about? What,
            I’m... what are they going to
            charge me with?

            HALE
            Ernest, I have many friends. That
            means I’ve got the best lawyers.
            They protect me. I protect you.
            Nobody’s getting near you, son.
            Argh...

            ERNEST
            What is it?

            HALE
            My stomach’s all torn up, Myrtie’s
            a mess, Willie’s hysterical – you
            need to sign this here now -
            Something happens to you, the
            headrights got to stay in the
            family – ... sign that.

            ERNEST
            What happens if something happens -
            if something happens to me what?
            What would happen to me?

            HALE
            Nothing’s gonna happen to you. It’s
            just a formality. No matter what.
            No one’s going to touch me. But
            they could come after you. And that
            could stop everything. This way for
            sure the money stays in the family.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 110.


            Ernest looks to Byron:

            ERNEST
            Did you sign a paper?

            HALE
            Oh yeah, he signed it.

            BYRON
            My wife’s not sick.

            Ernest hesitates. Hale gets out of the car, signals for
            Ernest to follow him…

            CU. TOM WHITE across the street, hidden from their view,
            watching them...

            ANGLE, ERNEST AND HALE

            HALE
            You’re scared.

            ERNEST
            No.

            HALE
            You’re giving her the shots? All of
            it?

            ERNEST
            Yes.

            HALE
            Now Ernest, I know you love Mollie,
            I know. I love her, too. But she’s
            gonna go. It’s not in our hands,
            it’s in God’s hands. He’s waiting
            on her now. We can’t stop the
            diabetes... but the children -
            they’re your children. We don’t
            want that illness around them, they
            don’t need to see her suffer and
            lose her legs. So you need to stay
            by her side now, and give her that
            medicine to ease her pain. You’ll
            never regret spending this time
            with her before she returns to the
            eternal... You’re strong enough
            now... ? You need to stay by her
            side, you need to give her that
            medicine, and you need to sign
            this.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 111.


            Ernest looks.

            HALE (CONT'D)
            Sign the paper... sign it.

            Ernest signs the paper.

            CU. TOM WHITE watching.

            CUT TO:



            183 EXT FIELD WITH DERRICKS IN THE DISTANCE - NIGHT 183

            Joe Jones, CJ Robinson and John Wren getting out of their
            cars. Headlights illuminate a group of men waiting for them.
            They all shake hands.
            Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Thriller"]

            Summary Hale pays Acie Kirby $500 and warns him about the presence of Federal Agents. Acie agrees to listen to something Hale has to say, but their meeting turns deadly when Acie and his associates break into Bob Mount's store and Acie is shot and killed. Meanwhile, Agents Tom White, John Burger, and Frank Smith discover Henry Grammer's deserted ranch and learn of his death from an old timer. Ernest plays pool with John Wren and hesitates before signing a paper presented by Hale. Joe Jones, CJ Robinson, and John Wren meet a group of men in a field with derricks in the distance.
            Strengths
            • Building tension and suspense
            • Establishing character motivations and relationships
            • Introducing high stakes
            Weaknesses
            • Limited emotional impact

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 8

            The scene effectively builds tension and introduces high stakes through the actions and dialogue of the characters. The consequences of the deal and the potential danger they face create a sense of urgency and intrigue.


            Story Content

            Concept: 7

            The concept of a deal gone wrong and the subsequent consequences is a familiar one in crime and thriller genres. However, the scene adds depth by exploring the characters' motivations and the lengths they will go to protect themselves.

            Plot: 8

            The plot of the scene revolves around the aftermath of a deal and the escalating danger faced by the characters. The introduction of federal agents and the revelation of a potential threat adds complexity and raises the stakes.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and challenges faced by the characters are familiar, the emotional depth and personal connections portrayed through the dialogue add a fresh approach to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


            Character Development

            Characters: 9

            The characters in the scene are well-developed and their motivations and relationships are clearly established. Their actions and dialogue drive the plot forward and create tension.

            Character Changes: 7

            While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the characters' motivations and relationships are established, setting the stage for potential character arcs in the future.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect their loved ones and ensure the well-being of their family. This reflects their deeper need for security, love, and stability.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince Ernest to sign a paper that will ensure the money stays in the family in case something happens to him. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing, such as the potential danger Ernest might be in.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing potential danger from federal agents and the consequences of their actions. The tension and suspense are effectively built through the escalating conflict.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces resistance from Ernest and potential danger from external forces. The audience is unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

            High Stakes: 9

            The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing potential danger, legal consequences, and the loss of their livelihoods. The consequences of their actions have far-reaching implications.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, escalating danger, and establishing the motivations and relationships of the characters. It sets the stage for future developments.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected challenges and conflicts for the characters. The audience is unsure of how the characters will react or what the outcome will be.

            Philosophical Conflict: 0

            There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 7

            The scene elicits a sense of suspense and intrigue, but the emotional impact is somewhat limited. The focus is more on the plot and the characters' actions rather than deep emotional connections.

            Dialogue: 8

            The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and the escalating danger they face. It reveals their relationships and adds depth to their personalities.

            Engagement: 9

            This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation, emotional conflicts, and personal connections between the characters. The dialogue and actions create tension and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

            Pacing: 9

            The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The dialogue and actions are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged and interested.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions in a clear and organized manner.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, presents the characters' goals and conflicts, and progresses the narrative.


            Critique
            • The scene starts with a clear conflict between Hale and Acie Kirby over the $25,000 owed to Henry Roan. However, the scene could benefit from more backstory on this conflict to help the audience understand the context and stakes of the situation. Additionally, the dialogue between Hale and Acie could use more specific details about the blast and the involvement of the Federal Agents to add tension and urgency.
            • The scene then shifts to a violent and unexpected event with Acie's death, which could have been more impactful if we had seen more of Acie's character and motivations in the previous scene. This would have made his death more tragic and poignant.
            • The scene at Henry Grammer's ranch/distillery is confusing and lacks clarity. We don't know exactly when Henry died or how, and the old timer's cryptic response doesn't provide enough information. This could be clarified through more specific dialogue or visual cues.
            • The scene with Ernest and Byron could use more context about the charges Ernest is facing and why they are a threat to the headrights. This would help the audience understand the urgency of the situation and the importance of Ernest signing the paper.
            • The scene with Joe Jones, CJ Robinson, and John Wren could benefit from more context about their relationship and why they are meeting in a field with derricks in the distance. This would add more depth and intrigue to the scene.
            Suggestions
            • To add more backstory to the conflict between Hale and Acie Kirby, we could see a flashback or a conversation between Hale and Henry Roan about the debt and the reasons behind it. This would help the audience understand the history between these characters and the stakes of the situation.
            • To make Acie's death more impactful, we could see more of his interactions with other characters in the previous scene, such as his associates or his family. This would help the audience connect with him as a character and feel more invested in his fate.
            • To clarify the circumstances of Henry Grammer's death, we could see more visual cues, such as blood or broken glass, to indicate that he was involved in a violent incident. We could also see more dialogue from the old timer to provide more specific details about what happened.
            • To provide more context about the charges Ernest is facing, we could see a conversation between Ernest and a lawyer or a police officer about the nature of the charges and the potential consequences. This would help the audience understand the urgency of the situation and the importance of Ernest signing the paper.
            • To add more depth and intrigue to the scene with Joe Jones, CJ Robinson, and John Wren, we could see more dialogue between them to indicate their relationship and the reasons behind their meeting in a field with derricks in the distance. This could reveal more about their motivations and the larger context of the story.



            Scene 38 -  Unraveling the Web of Crimes
            184 EXT. FIELD - MOMENTS LATER 184

            Tom White in a huddle.

            TOM WHITE
            I was out in Ralston - met an old
            timer Alvin Reynolds last night.
            185 EXT. RALSTON HOTEL – DUSK 185

            ALVIN REYNOLDS (84) on the porch of an old hotel.

            ALVIN
            I knew every Indian that was
            murdered... That bunch that did it
            even give dogs poison liquor to see
            what will happen to them.

            We see Tom White sitting with him, listening.

            ALVIN (CONT'D)
            They even kill coyotes. Now I don’t
            like coyotes but you shouldn’t
            poison a coyote. It’s not right -
            coyotes gonna die natural...
            My son-in-law told me not to talk
            for that bunch may bump me off but
            I’ve run out of time anyways...I’ll
            tell you who did it... I sat in
            this spot and I saw...
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 112.


            Alvin points to the road in front of him, Tom looks.




            186 ALVIN REYNOLDS’ POV: 186

            BYRON BURKHART DRIVING ANNA BROWN INTO TOWN

            ALVIN (V.O.)
            I saw Byron Burkhart drive Anna
            Brown down this street... with
            Kelsie Morrison and his wife in the
            back seat...

            CU. KELSIE MORRISON in the back seat.

            BYRON BURKHART PULLS THE CAR OVER.

            ALVIN
            They took her and got her juiced
            up. I seen them coming through town
            - they were all together. Kelsie
            and Byron and Anna...

            WE SEE: ANNA gets out of the car, very drunk and flirty with
            Byron... Kelsie follows. And as we see Kelsie -

            BURGER (V.O.)
            Kelsie Morrison runs dope and
            whiskey from Fort Worth to New
            Orleans to Dallas..

            CUT TO:
            187 EXT. OIL FIELDS – NIGHT 187

            John Burger - Federal Agent - is reporting to Tom White,
            Frank Smith, CJ Robinson, Joe Jones, John Wren.

            BURGER
            ... Bill Stepson died of corn
            whiskey. There was no
            investigation. Bill’s
            wife was Tillie Stepson... Kelsie
            dropped Catherine and married
            Tillie two weeks after Bill died.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 113.
            188 INT. HOSPITAL – DAY 188

            Tillie dead in the hospital. Bedside, Kelsie is there with
            TILLIE’S TWO KIDS.

            BURGER (V.O.)
            Two months later, Tillie died from
            poison.

            TIGHTER TO TILLIE’S KIDS.

            BURGER (V.O.)
            Kelsie ran off with her kids down
            to Mexico but he came right back
            because...

            CUT TO:
            189 INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE – DAY 189

            Kelsie is talking to a LAWYER.

            KELSIE
            So, my dead wife has two kids, and
            they have my name. So if I adopted
            them proper, if these two kids were
            to die, would I inherit their
            estates? They’re Osage. One’s half
            Osage, but they have headrights.

            LAWYER
            Kelsie, you realize that this
            indicates to me that you’re
            planning on adopting and killing
            these children?

            KELSIE
            No, not if it’s not legal and I
            don’t get the money. Then I’m not
            gonna do it.

            CUT TO:
            190 EXT. POST OFFICE BOX – FT. WORTH, TX. 190

            Kelsie is coming to his post office and he’s surrounded by
            officers and John Burger.

            BURGER
            Kelsie Morrison?
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 114.


            KELSIE
            Who? No, my name’s Lloyd Miller.

            They take him.

            CUT TO:
            191 EXT. OIL FIELD – BACK TO SCENE 191

            BURGER
            I always admired Kelsie’s
            ambition. Told him so and he
            thanked me. Ask him point blank
            about Byron and Ernest and the
            murders. He said -

            BACK TO:



            192 EXT - POST OFFICE 192

            KELSIE
            ....well maybe we can help each
            other out here.

            CUT TO:
            193 EXT. OIL FIELD – BACK TO SCENE 193

            JOHN WREN
            I’m in real close with them now and
            they tell me things. I’m a trusted
            friend to Father Albert, too.

            CUT TO:
            194 EXT. OSAGE GOLF COURSE – FLASHBACK - DAY 194

            John Wren, undercover, with Mollie’s Priest who’s playing
            golf at a new Osage golf course hosting a COMMUNITY EVENT.

            THE PRIEST
            I am very concerned about a
            parishioner of mine.

            JOHN WREN
            Tell me what you know…
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 115.


            THE PRIEST
            ... She fears her life may be in
            danger…
            195 EXT. OIL FIELDS 195

            Tom taking all this in.

            JOHN WREN
            ...You got a better chance
            convicting a guy for kicking a dog
            than killing an Indian ... You know
            there’s more to this than what
            we’re on to. Hale’s not tied to the
            Charlie Whitehorn murder. Or Sara
            Butler or Bill Stepson... (alts: Or
            Rose Lewis - Or John Whitehair)...
            there’s more...

            TOM WHITE
            We’re on Bill Hale, we’re on Ernest
            Burkhart - that’s what we’re
            working on now.

            CUT TO:
            196 EXT. OIL FIELDS – CONTINUED 196

            Off in the distance, there is something happening. Faintly we
            can see that it is a fire... The Agents stand and watch...

            JOHN WREN
            That’s Bill Hale’s ranch.

            JOE JONES
            I sold him a $30,000 fire policy
            last month.

            JOHN WREN
            (smiles) Well, “Insurance Man”
            looks like you’ve got some work in
            the morning.

            CUT TO:
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 116.
            197 EXT. HALE RANCH – NIGHT 197

            Bill Hale’s ranch is on fire. It’s acreage around the house
            set fire for insurance purposes. Ranch hands walk around the
            fire, making sure this ‘accident’ is contained to a certain
            area.

            CUT TO:
            198 EXT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – NIGHT 198

            CU. ERNEST watching unusual light on the horizon.

            THE FIRE. Silhouettes, moving around, like Demons.

            TOM WHITE (V.O.)
            Ernest Burkhart is skittish, he is
            afraid. He drinks and displays a
            nervous temper. It is in my opinion
            that he could be made to tell the
            truth...

            Ernest turns into his house…



            A199 INT. CELLAR MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME A199

            Ernest mixes up something with the vials (and whiskey?) in
            the cellar and drinks it.

            CUT TO:
            Genres: ["Crime","Mystery","Drama"]

            Summary In this scene, Tom White learns from an eyewitness that Byron Burkhart was involved in Anna Brown's disappearance with Kelsie Morrison and his wife. Kelsie's involvement in running drugs and whiskey is also revealed. Meanwhile, John Burger reports the deaths of Bill Stepson and Tillie, Kelsie's wife, and it's revealed that Kelsie was contemplating killing Tillie's children for inheritance purposes. Kelsie discusses this plan with a lawyer, and he's later apprehended by officers. John Wren shares his close relationship with Kelsie and his knowledge of the ongoing crimes. The scene ends with Ernest Burkhart exhibiting suspicious behavior at Bill Hale's ranch.
            Strengths
            • Engaging plot developments
            • Revealing character revelations
            • Building suspense and anticipation
            Weaknesses
            • Dialogue could benefit from more depth and nuance
            • Theme could be further explored and developed

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 9

            The scene is highly engaging and impactful, providing important plot developments and character revelations.


            Story Content

            Concept: 8

            The concept of investigating a series of murders and uncovering a conspiracy is intriguing and keeps the audience hooked.

            Plot: 9

            The plot unfolds with significant revelations about the murders and the involvement of key characters, building suspense and anticipation.

            Originality: 7

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While it explores familiar themes of corruption and justice, it presents unique situations and fresh approaches to the investigation. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


            Character Development

            Characters: 8

            The characters are well-developed and their motivations and actions drive the plot forward.

            Character Changes: 8

            The characters undergo significant changes as they confront the truth and face the consequences of their actions.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the murders and corruption in the town. This reflects their deeper need for justice and their fear of the consequences of revealing the truth.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather evidence and build a case against the suspects involved in the crimes. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing in their investigation.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters confront the truth and face the consequences of their actions.

            Opposition: 7

            The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges in uncovering the truth and gathering evidence. The audience is unsure of how the investigation will progress and what obstacles the protagonist will encounter.

            High Stakes: 9

            The stakes are high as the characters uncover a conspiracy and face the possibility of danger and retribution.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up the conflicts and tensions for the rest of the story.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected information and twists in the investigation. The audience is left unsure of the outcome and eager to learn more.

            Philosophical Conflict: 6

            There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in justice and the corrupt actions of the suspects. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 8

            The scene evokes tension, fear, and anticipation, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

            Dialogue: 7

            The dialogue effectively conveys information and reveals the characters' personalities, but could benefit from more depth and nuance.

            Engagement: 8

            This scene is engaging because it presents a series of revelations and clues that keep the audience invested in the investigation. The dialogue and visual descriptions create a sense of intrigue and suspense.

            Pacing: 8

            The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and balancing dialogue-driven moments with visual descriptions. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

            Structure: 9

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, presents dialogue-driven interactions, and builds suspense through the revelation of information.


            Critique
            • The scene starts with Tom White in a huddle, but it is not clear who he is huddled with or why they are gathered.
            • The dialogue between Tom White and Alvin Reynolds feels disjointed and lacks clarity. It is unclear what they are discussing and how it relates to the overall story.
            • The transition from Alvin Reynolds' statement about seeing Byron Burkhart driving Anna Brown into town to John Burger reporting about Bill Stepson's death feels abrupt and confusing.
            • There are several flashbacks and transitions in this scene that make it difficult to follow the timeline and understand the sequence of events.
            • The dialogue between Kelsie Morrison and the lawyer about adopting and potentially killing Tillie's kids feels forced and unrealistic.
            • The scene ends with a fire at Bill Hale's ranch, but it is not clear how this event connects to the rest of the scene or the overall story.
            Suggestions
            • Provide more context and clarity at the beginning of the scene to establish who Tom White is huddled with and why.
            • Streamline the dialogue between Tom White and Alvin Reynolds to make it more focused and purposeful. Clearly establish the connection between Alvin's eyewitness account and the ongoing investigation.
            • Reorganize the transitions and flashbacks in a way that is easier to follow and maintains a clear timeline.
            • Revise the dialogue between Kelsie Morrison and the lawyer to make it more believable and natural. Focus on the legal implications of adopting the children rather than discussing potential murder.
            • Provide a clearer connection between the fire at Bill Hale's ranch and the rest of the scene. Show how this event impacts the characters and advances the story.



            Scene 39 -  Ernest's Arrest and Interrogation
            199 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – NIGHT 199

            Mollie sees the flicker of fire on the ceiling of her sick
            room. She closes her eyes.

            Ernest is drunk and out of it. He shoots her up - injecting
            her... with two bottles.

            Ernest takes a vial and adds it to a whiskey (or drinks it
            from the vial). He sees flames like demons on the wall. He
            walks toward the flames...

            Mollie flickers her eyes open for a moment. Sees him, doesn’t
            see him.

            MOLLIE (TO ERNEST)
            You’re next.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 117.


            Ernest backs out of the room…



            200 CU. TOM WHITE – ON CAMERA 200

            TOM WHITE
            It is my view that he is the weak
            sister.

            CUT TO:
            201 INT. FAIRFAX POOL HALL - FAIRFAX - DAY 201

            Ernest hanging out at his pool hall when suddenly: Tom White,
            Frank Smith and John Burger come in to arrest him – they have
            brought the local OSAGE COUNTY SHERIFF as The Bureau can’t
            arrest anyone or carry guns at this time…

            ERNEST
            Here we go, then... you got this
            all wrong. I have to go home, I
            have to go home and see my wife...
            she’s sick and I have to take care
            of her...

            Ernest tries some side-steps around pool tables and pretends
            they’re not even there, until they are upon him and handcuff
            him...

            CUT TO:
            202 INT. THE FEDERAL BUILDING, CIVIL SERVICE ROOM – NIGHT 202

            Tom White and Frank Smith look across from Ernest.

            ERNEST
            Can I sit down?

            FRANK SMITH
            Standing is good.

            TOM WHITE
            We want to talk to you about the
            murder of Reta and Bill Smith and
            Anna Brown.

            ERNEST
            ...
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 118.


            HOLD ON ERNEST’S FACE. They say nothing. LONG PAUSE, THEN:

            TIME CUT:



            203 CU. ERNEST IT’S MANY HOURS LATER, IT’S NIGHT. HE’S STILL 203
            STANDING IN THE SAME SPOT, HE LOOKS EXHAUSTED. SILENCE,
            THEN:

            ERNEST
            I need to sit down.

            TOM WHITE
            Yes you do but you’re standing.

            ERNEST
            I need some sleep.

            TOM WHITE
            Were you alone when you put the
            explosives under the house? Was
            Blackie Thompson with you?

            ERNEST
            He was no where around me, because
            I don’t even know him so much –
            just from around.

            TOM WHITE
            You didn’t rob a bank in Oilton
            with him did you?

            ERNEST
            I never did that.

            TOM WHITE
            You didn’t have a bunkhouse with
            stolen cars where men could stay?
            Cook stove? Place to eat? Beds?

            ERNEST
            Not that I know of.

            TOM WHITE
            You did help Blackie Thompson steal
            your own Buick car in 1921 for the
            purpose of collecting insurance on
            it, didn’t you?

            ERNEST
            I told him he could take the car.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 119.


            TOM WHITE
            For the purpose of using it?

            ERNEST
            I don’t know what he wanted it for.

            TOM WHITE
            You loaned it to him.

            ERNEST
            ...what, what, what is all this? I
            loaned him my car, that’s not
            against the law.
            Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

            Summary Ernest injects Mollie with drugs and hallucinates demons on the wall. Later, he is arrested for the murders of Reta, Bill, and Anna by Tom White, Frank Smith, and John Burger. Ernest denies the accusations and is interrogated by Tom White.
            Strengths
            • Intense dialogue
            • Building tension
            • Engaging conflict
            Weaknesses
            • Limited character development
            • Underdeveloped theme

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 9

            The scene is highly engaging and gripping, with intense dialogue and a sense of impending danger. It effectively builds tension and raises questions about Ernest's involvement in criminal activities.


            Story Content

            Concept: 8

            The concept of the scene revolves around the arrest and interrogation of the main character, which adds depth to the overall plot and raises the stakes for Ernest.

            Plot: 9

            The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks a turning point in the story, leading to the arrest of the protagonist and setting up further conflicts and developments.

            Originality: 6

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist being accused of a crime is familiar, the specific details and dialogue add some freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and realistic.


            Character Development

            Characters: 9

            The characters in the scene, particularly Ernest and Tom White, are well-developed and their interactions are compelling. Their motivations and conflicts add depth to the story.

            Character Changes: 7

            Ernest undergoes a slight change in his demeanor as he becomes more desperate and vulnerable during the interrogation. However, the change could be further emphasized.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect and take care of his sick wife. This reflects his deeper need for love, responsibility, and loyalty.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid being arrested and to go home to his sick wife. It reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing, which include being accused of murder and being pursued by law enforcement.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as Ernest tries to defend himself and the investigators press him for answers. The conflict drives the scene forward and keeps the audience engaged.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is being arrested and interrogated by law enforcement officers. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and whether the protagonist will be able to defend himself.

            High Stakes: 10

            The stakes are extremely high in the scene as Ernest faces arrest and potential consequences for his actions. The outcome of the interrogation will have a significant impact on the story.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the arrest and the investigation into the murders. It raises important questions and sets up future developments.

            Unpredictability: 6

            This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the protagonist's responses and reactions to the accusations are not entirely expected. However, the overall outcome and direction of the scene are somewhat predictable.

            Philosophical Conflict: 0

            There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 8

            The scene evokes a sense of fear, tension, and empathy for Ernest's predicament. The emotional impact is heightened by the high stakes and the uncertainty surrounding his fate.

            Dialogue: 10

            The dialogue in the scene is intense, impactful, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict.

            Engagement: 7

            This scene is engaging because it presents a tense and dramatic situation with high stakes. The dialogue and actions of the characters create suspense and intrigue.

            Pacing: 8

            The pacing of the scene is effective in creating tension and maintaining the reader's interest. The short and direct dialogue exchanges, as well as the pauses and silences, contribute to the overall rhythm and pacing of the scene.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with correct indentation, spacing, and punctuation.

            Structure: 8

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


            Critique
            • The scene begins with a confusing and abrupt shift in tone and setting. The audience is suddenly transported from the tense and dramatic scene in Mollie's sick room to Ernest injecting her with drugs in the cellar. This sudden change in mood and location may confuse the audience and disrupt the flow of the story. To improve this, the writer could consider smoothing out the transition between the scenes and providing more context to help the audience understand what is happening.
            • The dialogue between Ernest and Mollie is sparse and lacks emotional depth. The audience is given very little insight into Mollie's character or her relationship with Ernest. This makes it difficult for the audience to connect with her and understand her warning to Ernest. To improve this, the writer could consider adding more dialogue between Mollie and Ernest that reveals their relationship and emotions.
            • The scene with Ernest's arrest is well-written and provides a clear sense of tension and conflict. However, the dialogue between Ernest and the authorities could be more impactful. The writer could consider adding more specific details about the crimes Ernest is accused of and providing more insight into his character and motivations.
            • The scene with Ernest's confession is long and drawn-out. The writer could consider streamlining the dialogue and focusing on the most important details to make the scene more impactful and engaging.
            • The scene ends with Ernest looking exhausted and defeated. However, it is unclear what has happened to him during the long pause between his confession and the end of the scene. The writer could consider providing more context to help the audience understand what has happened to Ernest during this time.
            Suggestions
            • To improve the transition between the scenes, the writer could consider using a visual cue, such as a fade or a dissolve, to connect the scenes and provide more context to the audience.
            • To provide more insight into Mollie's character and relationship with Ernest, the writer could consider adding more dialogue between them that reveals their emotions and history.
            • To make the dialogue between Ernest and the authorities more impactful, the writer could consider adding more specific details about the crimes Ernest is accused of and providing more insight into his character and motivations.
            • To make the scene with Ernest's confession more impactful and engaging, the writer could consider streamlining the dialogue and focusing on the most important details.
            • To provide more context to the audience about what has happened to Ernest during the long pause between his confession and the end of the scene, the writer could consider adding a brief flashback or a voiceover that reveals what has happened to him during this time.



            Scene 40 -  Ernest Confronts Blackie and Tom Questions Ernest
            204 INT. CIVIL SERVICE ROOM – CONTINUED 204


            The door opens and in steps Blackie Thompson.

            BLACKIE
            How you doing, Ernest?

            CU. ERNEST: Silence, then...

            ERNEST
            May I speak to this man? Alone?

            TOM WHITE
            You want to speak to him alone?

            ERNEST
            Yes.

            They all leave the room.

            BLACKIE THOMPSON
            They got you turned around?

            ERNEST
            No. What did you tell them?

            BLACKIE THOMPSON
            I told them when I came back from
            prison to see you to make things
            right, you gave me $1.50 and you
            told me, “Well, we all knew the
            chances we were taking...”

            ERNEST
            We did. But I gave you a twenty.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 120.


            BLACKIE THOMPSON
            No you didn’t. You gave me a dollar
            fifty.

            ERNEST
            I gave you a twenty. I meant to
            give you a twenty. What did you
            tell them?

            BLACKIE THOMPSON
            All of it. I told them you and
            your Uncle are too much Jew. I’m
            doing life for killing that
            Drumright cop and I’m telling you
            now, Ernest - I know you can’t do
            time in prison. So tell them what
            you know for your pleasure...

            CUT TO:
            205 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – NIGHT 205

            Bill Hale steps into Mollie’s house. He’s dressed up fancy.
            Mollie is near death. In Bed. Hale comes into the room. She
            is delirious; he speaks in Osage…

            HALE HALE
            Settle down, Mollie. You’re Mollie, thoo-shtah-kah. Wah-
            strong. thee-skahn tahn-kah.

            MOLLIE MOLLIE
            Are you real? Thee-eh eh-kohn xtsee ah?

            HALE
            (in English)
            I could be real.
            206 INT. CIVIL SERVICE ROOM – LATER 206

            Tom White holds up his hand... motioning Ernest to stop
            talking:

            TOM WHITE
            ...Acie Kirby... Henry Grammer ...
            [we might see images of them]
            they’re both dead. There’s nobody
            alive in your story who did this.

            ERNEST
            ...well, yeah, they’re dead.
            KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 121.


            TOM WHITE
            You’re a good man, Ernest and you
            love your wife and children. You
            served your country in Infantry and
            I don’t think this is how your life
            was meant to turn out – I see your
            family is more of a blessing than
            your King Bill Hale. He’s done
            nothing but taken advantage of
            your human nature and forced you
            into doing bad things.

            ERNEST
            I want to go back home to my wife,
            so tell me what I can do.

            TOM WHITE
            Well then who killed Henry Roan? Do
            you know about that?

            Ernest about to speak...

            CUT TO:
            Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

            Summary In this scene, Ernest confronts Blackie Thompson about lying to the authorities and Tom White interrogates Ernest about the murder of Henry Roan. The emotional tone is tense and serious, and the conflicts between Ernest and Blackie, as well as Ernest and Tom, remain unresolved. The scene takes place in two locations, the Civil Service Room and Mollie's Fairfax home, both at night. There are no significant visual elements or actions in this scene, and the scene ends with Tom asking Ernest about the murder.
            Strengths
            • Intense dialogue
            • Revelations and confrontations
            • Strong emotional impact
            Weaknesses

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 9

              The scene is highly engaging and impactful, with intense dialogue and revelations that deepen the conflict. It sets up important plot developments and raises the stakes for the characters.


              Story Content

              Concept: 8

              The concept of confronting past mistakes and the consequences of one's actions is compelling and drives the scene forward. It explores themes of redemption and personal responsibility.

              Plot: 9

              The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, as Ernest is confronted with the truth about his past actions and is given an opportunity to make amends. The revelation of Henry Roan's murder adds a new layer of mystery and intrigue.

              Originality: 6

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist trying to clear their name and solve a murder is familiar, the specific details and character interactions bring freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


              Character Development

              Characters: 9

              The characters are well-developed and their conflicts and motivations are clearly portrayed. Blackie's resentment and Ernest's desire for redemption create tension and emotional depth.

              Character Changes: 8

              Ernest experiences a significant change in this scene as he confronts the truth about his past actions and expresses his desire for redemption. This sets up a potential character arc for him.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find out what Blackie Thompson told the authorities and to clear his name. This reflects his deeper need for justice and his fear of being wrongly accused.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about the murder of Henry Roan. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as he tries to solve the case and protect his family.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 9

              The conflict between Blackie and Ernest is intense and emotionally charged. The revelation of Henry Roan's murder adds another layer of conflict and raises the stakes for the characters.

              Opposition: 8

              The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges from Blackie Thompson and the murder investigation. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate these obstacles.

              High Stakes: 9

              The stakes are high in this scene as Ernest is faced with the potential consequences of his actions and the threat of his past being exposed. The tension and conflict create a sense of urgency.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about the characters and their past actions. It sets up new conflicts and raises questions that propel the narrative.

              Unpredictability: 7

              This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information about Blackie Thompson's testimony and raises questions about the murder of Henry Roan. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will respond and what actions he will take.

              Philosophical Conflict: 7

              There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in justice and his loyalty to his family. He is torn between doing what is right and protecting his loved ones.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 9

              The scene evokes strong emotions through the tense dialogue and the characters' confrontations. The audience is invested in the outcome and the emotional journey of the characters.

              Dialogue: 10

              The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Blackie and Ernest.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and Blackie Thompson, raises questions about the murder of Henry Roan, and creates emotional tension through the dialogue and character interactions.

              Pacing: 8

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and balancing dialogue with moments of silence and reflection. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a location and character introduction, followed by dialogue and character interactions. The scene transitions smoothly between different locations and characters.


              Critique
              • The scene starts with a sudden shift in location and characters, which may confuse the audience. It would be helpful to provide some context or a brief recap of the previous scenes to help the audience follow along.
              • The dialogue between Ernest and Blackie Thompson feels forced and unnatural. The conversation lacks tension and doesn't add much to the overall plot. It would be more impactful if there was a clear motive or conflict between the two characters.
              • The introduction of Mollie's near-death state feels sudden and out of place. It's unclear how this scene connects to the rest of the story, and it doesn't add much to the overall plot. It would be more effective if Mollie's condition was established earlier in the story.
              • Tom White's monologue feels overly dramatic and preachy. It's clear that he's trying to convince Ernest to cooperate, but the dialogue feels heavy-handed and lacks subtlety.
              • The scene ends with a cliffhanger, but it's unclear what will happen next. It would be more effective if the scene had a clear resolution or a strong call-to-action that leaves the audience wanting more.
              Suggestions
              • To improve the scene with Ernest and Blackie Thompson, consider adding a clear motive or conflict between the two characters. Perhaps Blackie Thompson is trying to frame Ernest for a crime he didn't commit, or maybe Ernest is trying to protect someone Blackie Thompson wants to harm. This would add tension and stakes to the conversation.
              • To improve the scene with Mollie, consider establishing her condition earlier in the story. This would allow the audience to connect with her character and understand the significance of her near-death state. It would also provide more context for Bill Hale's visit and the conversation between Ernest and Tom White.
              • To improve Tom White's monologue, consider making it more subtle and nuanced. Instead of preaching, try to convey his message through action and dialogue that feels more natural. This would allow the audience to connect with his character and understand his motivations without feeling like they're being lectured.
              • To improve the ending of the scene, consider providing a clear resolution or a strong call-to-action that leaves the audience wanting more. This could be as simple as having Tom White ask Ernest a specific question that leads to a new revelation or a twist in the plot.



              Scene 41 -  The Interrogation of John Ramsey
              207 EXT. JOHN RAMSEY’S PLACE – RIPLEY 207

              John Ramsey, living in poverty with six kids on the edges of
              Fairfax. He steps out of his house, to pick up something from
              the yard and before he knows anything... JOHN WREN is beside
              him...

              JOHN WREN
              Don’t run. I’m to take you in.

              John Ramsey holds still. His wife and kids look. As Wren
              deals with Ramsey we hear -

              TOM WHITE (V.O.)
              Bill Hale and Ernest Burkhart have
              taken advantage of you because
              you’re a poor man, had a wife and
              six children, are in bad
              circumstances.

              CUT TO:
              208 INT. CIVIL SERVICE ROOM – NIGHT 208

              Ramsey and Tom White:
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 122.


              TOM WHITE
              What do you know about the murder
              of Henry Roan?

              JOHN RAMSEY
              Why I don’t know anything about it.

              TOM WHITE
              I have a man who is your friend who
              states that you do know about it.

              JOHN RAMSEY
              Who is he?

              Tom White opens the door and Ernest is brought in... Ernest
              looks at John Ramsey. HOLD the looks, then:

              JOHN RAMSEY (CONT'D)
              So is this on my neck?

              TOM WHITE
              Yes.

              JOHN RAMSEY
              ...get your pencils.

              CUT TO:
              209 INT. MOLLIE’S FAIRFAX HOME – MORNING 209

              CAMERA PUSHES DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS MOLLIE’S SICK ROOM.

              FBI AGENTS JOHN WREN and CJ ROBINSON enter the back sick room
              and see Mollie near death. Vera following them in...

              JOHN WREN
              Does she have a doctor?

              VERA
              No, she won’t see one.

              MOLLIE (GARBLED, OSAGE) MOLLIE
              ...where’s my husband? Nee-kah we-da ho-wae-ke theh.


              Mollie sees John Wren.

              MOLLIE (CONT'D)
              Are you real? Grandfather? Is it
              time now?

              They begin to rush Mollie out of the house and into a car.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 123.
              210 INT. FEDERAL COURT BUILDING - HALLWAY 210

              Tom White and Frank Smith accompany Ernest.

              ERNEST
              I suppose we all need to tell the
              truth?

              TOM WHITE
              Yes.

              ERNEST
              It’s time for all the true facts to
              come out…

              TOM WHITE
              Do you want protection?

              ERNEST
              Yes.

              TOM WHITE
              From?

              ERNEST
              My Uncle.
              211 INT. FAIRFAX SHERIFF’S OFFICE 211

              SHERIFF FREAS at his desk ...The door opens, and William Hale
              enters, dressed immaculately.

              WILLIAM HALE
              I understand I’m wanted. I’m here
              to turn myself in -- no need put
              you fellows out...

              SHERIFF
              What you supposed to have done?

              WILLIAM HALE
              Killed somebody, if you can believe
              it.

              SHERIFF
              Oh now Bill I wouldn’t go that far.
              That can’t be.

              WILLIAM HALE
              (hands out to be cuffed)
              Arrest me, son.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 124.


              SHERIFF
              No need for that.

              He leads Hale toward the back.
              Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

              Summary John Ramsey is questioned by Tom White about the murder of Henry Roan, with Ernest's help. Meanwhile, FBI agents rush Mollie out of her sick room, and William Hale turns himself in to Sheriff Freas.
              Strengths
              • Tense atmosphere
              • Concise and impactful dialogue
              • Effective plot progression
              Weaknesses
              • Limited character development
              • Lack of emotional depth

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 8

              The scene effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the situation, keeping the audience engaged. The dialogue is concise and impactful, revealing important information about the murder investigation. However, there is room for improvement in terms of character development and emotional impact.


              Story Content

              Concept: 7

              The concept of the scene, which focuses on the arrest of suspects in a murder investigation, is well-executed. It effectively introduces the conflict and sets the stage for further developments. However, it could benefit from more depth and complexity.

              Plot: 8

              The plot of the scene is engaging and moves the story forward. It introduces new information and raises questions about the murder case. However, there is room for further development and exploration of the plot.

              Originality: 6

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall situation of a protagonist being wrongly accused is a familiar one, the specific circumstances and characters in this scene bring a fresh approach. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


              Character Development

              Characters: 6

              The characters in the scene are introduced and their roles in the investigation are established. However, there is limited depth and development in their personalities. More exploration of their motivations and emotions would enhance the scene.

              Character Changes: 6

              There is limited character change in the scene. The characters' roles and motivations are established, but there is little growth or transformation depicted. More development in this aspect would enhance the scene.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand the accusations against him and protect his family. This reflects his deeper need for justice and his fear of being wrongly accused and separated from his loved ones.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to clear his name and prove his innocence in the murder of Henry Roan. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing, which is the accusation against him.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 8

              The scene contains a high level of conflict, as suspects are arrested and questioned about a murder. The tension between the characters and the stakes involved create a sense of urgency and suspense.

              Opposition: 8

              The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with accusations and challenges to his innocence. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles.

              High Stakes: 9

              The stakes in the scene are high, as suspects are arrested and questioned about a murder. The outcome of the investigation and the potential consequences for the characters create a sense of urgency and tension.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new information and raising questions about the murder case. It creates anticipation for further developments and keeps the audience engaged.

              Unpredictability: 7

              This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and raises questions about the truth of the accusations. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will respond and what the consequences will be.

              Philosophical Conflict: 7

              There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between truth and deception. The protagonist is being accused of a crime he claims to know nothing about, and there is a tension between the truth he believes and the deception he is being accused of.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 6

              The scene lacks a strong emotional impact. While there are moments of tension and uncertainty, the emotional depth of the characters and their reactions could be further explored to create a more impactful scene.

              Dialogue: 9

              The dialogue in the scene is concise, impactful, and reveals important information about the murder investigation. It effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the situation. However, there is room for more nuanced and emotionally charged dialogue.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict and raises questions about the protagonist's innocence. The dialogue and actions of the characters create tension and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

              Pacing: 8

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the protagonist, establishes the conflict, and progresses the narrative.


              Critique
              • The scene starts with a clear and concise setup, introducing John Ramsey and his situation. However, the dialogue between Ramsey and John Wren feels abrupt and lacks context. It would be helpful to have some exposition earlier in the scene to establish why Ramsey is being taken in and what the accusations against him are.
              • Tom White's questioning of Ramsey is effective in building tension and revealing information, but it could be more impactful if we had a better understanding of Ramsey's relationship with Henry Roan and why he might have been involved in his murder. This could be addressed through flashbacks or additional dialogue.
              • Ernest's entrance and subsequent implication of Ramsey is a strong plot twist, but it feels rushed and could benefit from more buildup. Perhaps we could see Ernest's hesitation or guilt before he decides to turn on Ramsey.
              • The scene ends with William Hale's confession, which is a powerful moment. However, it's unclear why Hale is turning himself in now, and it would be helpful to have some context about his motivations.
              • Overall, the scene is effective in advancing the plot and revealing new information, but it could be more impactful with stronger character development and contextualization.
              Suggestions
              • Consider adding a flashback or dream sequence to establish Ramsey's relationship with Henry Roan and why he might have been involved in his murder.
              • Give Ernest more time to consider turning on Ramsey. Perhaps he could have a conversation with Tom White or another character before making his decision.
              • Explain why William Hale is turning himself in now. Is it because he's been caught, or is there a deeper reason?
              • Consider adding more visual elements to the scene to enhance the tension and drama. For example, we could see Ramsey's face as he realizes the gravity of the situation, or we could see Hale's expression as he confesses.



              Scene 42 -  Hale's Arrest and Interrogation
              212 EXT. GUTHRIE FEDERAL BUILDING – DAY 212

              HALE IS UNDER ARREST NOW. U.S. Marshalls have now brought
              Hale to the Federal Building. A REPORTER rushes over:

              REPORTER 1
              Have you a statement to make?

              HALE
              Who are you?

              REPORTER 1
              A newspaper man.

              HALE
              I’ll not try my case in the
              newspapers, but in the courts of
              this country.

              REPORTER 2
              You are pretty well known aren’t
              you?

              HALE
              I think so.

              REPORTER 2
              It’s a long trip from Pawhuska,
              isn’t it?

              HALE
              Yes, but we’ve had a car with
              curtains up.

              REPORTER 2
              Just a statement? Just “I’m
              innocent”?

              CUT TO:
              213 INT. WITNESS INTERVIEW ROOM – DAY 213

              Blackie Thompson with his lawyer is being interviewed by
              PROSECUTOR PETER LEAWARD.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 125.


              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Where are you currently residing?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              The Penetentiary.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              How long are your serving?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              Life.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              For the Drumright job, right?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              Yes.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              It was William Hale who arranged
              that, right?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              That he did, funny ain’t it?

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Now who asked you to kill Bill and
              Reta Smith?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              William Hale and Ernest Burkhart.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Have you had recent contact with
              Mr. Hale?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              As a matter of fact, he just got a
              note to me - asked me to kill his
              nephew...

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              ... Now when you testify for the
              United States, you have one job and
              one job only... to tell the truth -
              Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

              Summary As Hale is brought to the Federal Building, reporters swarm him for a statement, but he remains silent. Meanwhile, Blackie Thompson is being questioned by the prosecutor about his involvement with Hale and the murders of Bill and Reta Smith in a separate room. The Sheriff leads Hale away from the reporters, leaving the tense and serious scene.
              Strengths
              • Revealing important plot details
              • Building tension through the arrest and interrogation
              Weaknesses
              • Lack of emotional depth
              • Dialogue could be more dynamic

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 8

              The scene effectively builds tension and reveals crucial plot details, keeping the audience engaged. However, it lacks emotional depth and could benefit from more dynamic dialogue.


              Story Content

              Concept: 7

              The concept of the scene, focusing on the arrest and interrogation of key characters, is intriguing and adds to the overall plot.

              Plot: 9

              The plot progresses significantly as the audience learns about Hale's involvement in criminal activities and his connection to Blackie Thompson.

              Originality: 6

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar in legal dramas, the specific dialogue and interactions between the characters bring a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


              Character Development

              Characters: 7

              The characters are well-defined, with Hale appearing confident and secretive, while Blackie Thompson comes across as hardened and unapologetic.

              Character Changes: 5

              There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on revealing information rather than character development.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain their composure and assert their innocence despite being under arrest. It reflects their need to protect their reputation and fight for justice.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid making any statements to the reporters that could be used against them in court. It reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the media scrutiny and preserving their legal defense.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 7

              There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily through the interrogation of Blackie Thompson and the revelation of his connection to Hale.

              Opposition: 8

              The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with questioning from reporters and later a prosecutor. The audience is uncertain about the outcome and the impact of the protagonist's responses.

              High Stakes: 8

              The stakes are high as the audience learns about the criminal activities orchestrated by Hale and the potential danger faced by the characters involved.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing important plot details and connecting key characters.

              Unpredictability: 7

              This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information about the protagonist's connection to a criminal act and their potential involvement in a murder. The audience is left wondering about the true nature of the protagonist's innocence.

              Philosophical Conflict: 0

              There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 6

              The scene lacks strong emotional impact, focusing more on plot and information rather than evoking deep emotions.

              Dialogue: 6

              The dialogue is straightforward and serves the purpose of conveying important information. However, it lacks depth and could benefit from more subtext and conflict.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation with the protagonist being questioned by reporters and later a prosecutor. The dialogue exchanges create tension and intrigue, making the audience curious about the protagonist's innocence and the unfolding legal case.

              Pacing: 8

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and allowing for moments of tension and reflection. The dialogue exchanges are well-timed, keeping the audience engaged.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an exterior location and then transitions to an interior location for a different conversation, providing a clear progression of events.


              Critique
              • The scene starts with a reporter trying to get a statement from Hale, but he refuses to speak to them. This could be seen as a missed opportunity to add some tension and conflict to the scene. The reporters could have asked more probing questions or even tried to provoke Hale, which could have led to a more dramatic exchange. Instead, the scene feels a bit flat and uneventful.
              • The dialogue between Blackie Thompson and the prosecutor is also a bit lackluster. The questions are straightforward and don't really reveal anything new about the case. It would have been more interesting to see Blackie Thompson try to negotiate a deal or plead for leniency, but instead, he just spills the beans without any real drama or suspense.
              • The scene could also benefit from some more visual elements. The reporters could have been shown pushing and shoving each other to get a better angle, or Hale could have been shown being escorted through a crowded courthouse. Instead, the scene feels a bit static and lacks any real visual interest.
              • Another issue with the scene is that it doesn't really advance the plot in any significant way. We already know that Hale is under arrest and that Blackie Thompson is cooperating with the authorities. The scene feels like filler, designed to pad out the runtime without really adding anything new or interesting to the story.
              Suggestions
              • To make the scene more interesting, you could try to add some more tension and conflict. For example, you could have the reporters try to bait Hale into making a mistake or reveal some new information. Alternatively, you could have Blackie Thompson try to negotiate a deal or plead for leniency, which could lead to some dramatic exchanges between the characters.
              • Another way to add some visual interest to the scene would be to show the reporters pushing and shoving each other to get a better angle, or Hale being escorted through a crowded courthouse. This could add some energy and excitement to the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.
              • To make the scene more plot-driven, you could try to reveal some new information about the case. For example, you could have Blackie Thompson drop a bombshell about Hale's involvement in the murders, or reveal some new evidence that could change the course of the investigation. This would add some suspense and intrigue to the scene and keep the audience on the edge of their seats.



              Scene 43 -  Blackie's Escape Offer and Ernest's Protection
              214 INT. BLACKIE’S JAIL CELL - NIGHT 214

              Blackie on his bunk in his cell, a JAIL GUARD slips A NOTE
              through the bars of the cell.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 126.


              BLACKIE THOMPSON (V.O.)
              - Yes... He said he could help me
              escape and then if I could, take
              Ernest to old Mexico and kill him.
              I sent a note back saying I
              wouldn't testify if he got me out.
              215 INT. WITNESS INTERVIEW ROOM – DAY 215

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              And how did that work out for you?

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              How did what?

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Mr. Hale’s promise of a grand
              escape.

              BLACKIE THOMPSON
              I’m sitting here talking to you,
              ain’t I?
              216 INT. HOSPITAL – PAWHUSKA – DAY 216

              Mollie is brought into her hospital room with the help of
              John Wren and CJ Robinson.

              There is a team of Doctors and Nurses around here in a flash.

              HALE (V.O.)
              Take a letter:
              JUDGE NOT! By William K. Hale.
              Judge Not! the clouds of seeming
              guilt may dim thy brother’s fame;




              217 OMITTED 217
              218 INT. HALE’S JAIL CELL - GUTHRIE - DAY 218

              Hale with a SECRETARY...
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 127.


              HALE
              For fate may throw suspicion’s
              shade upon the brightest name!

              CUT TO:
              219 EXT. FEDERAL PRISON - MORNING 219

              Ernest, witness for the prosecution, is under the guard of
              Tom White, Joe Jones and John Wren and some U.S. MARSHALLS.

              ERNEST
              I want to see my wife. You said if
              I testified I could see my wife.

              TOM WHITE
              She’s in hospital in Pawhuska.

              ERNEST
              Is she alright?

              TOM WHITE
              Doesn’t seem it.

              ERNEST
              When can I see her?

              TOM WHITE
              I don’t know.

              ERNEST
              I need to get a letter to her.

              A group of reporters is there.

              REPORTER 2
              Where are they taking you, Mr.
              Burkhart?

              ERNEST
              I’m going the other way for a while
              now.

              Ernest gets in the backseat of the car. Tom White shuts the
              door.

              TIME CUT:

              Tom White OPENS the backseat door on the other side, starts
              to get in beside Ernest.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 128.


              TOM WHITE
              We’re not charging you with
              anything ‘cause you’re gonna
              testify… but it’s best I shepherd
              you out of the state for awhile.
              Keep Hale and his wolves away from
              you. Now I know you wanna get back
              to Mollie and the kids but this is
              protection.

              Ernest listens. The car drives away from the municipal
              building.

              CUT TO:
              Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

              Summary Blackie receives a note proposing an escape plan and killing Ernest, but he declines. Ernest is taken under guard for his safety, causing conflict as he wants to see his wife. Tom White explains the situation to him.
              Strengths
              • Strong emotional impact
              • Realistic dialogue
              • Revealing character motivations
              Weaknesses
              • Lack of variety in tone

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 8

              The scene effectively conveys the tension and stakes of the situation, while also providing insight into the characters' motivations and emotions.


              Story Content

              Concept: 7

              The concept of an escape plan gone wrong and the desire to protect loved ones adds depth to the story.

              Plot: 8

              The plot progresses as the characters discuss the failed escape plan and the protagonist's concern for his wife's well-being.

              Originality: 6

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situations and challenges faced by the characters are familiar in the context of a legal drama, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a sense of freshness to the scene.


              Character Development

              Characters: 9

              The characters' dialogue and actions reveal their motivations, fears, and relationships, creating a strong emotional connection with the audience.

              Character Changes: 7

              The protagonist's concern for his wife and his willingness to sacrifice his freedom demonstrate a change in his priorities.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and protect himself. It reflects his fear of being harmed or manipulated by others.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to testify and provide information. It reflects the immediate circumstances of the legal proceedings and the challenges he faces as a witness.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 8

              There is a high level of conflict as the characters navigate the aftermath of the failed escape plan and the protagonist's concern for his wife.

              Opposition: 8

              The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges and obstacles in the form of legal proceedings, guards, and the need to protect himself.

              High Stakes: 9

              The characters' lives and relationships are at stake, creating a sense of urgency and tension.

              Story Forward: 8

              The scene moves the story forward by revealing the consequences of the failed escape plan and setting up future conflicts.

              Unpredictability: 7

              This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and raises questions about the characters' future actions and the outcome of the trial.

              Philosophical Conflict: 0

              There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 9

              The scene evokes strong emotions through the characters' vulnerability and the high stakes involved.

              Dialogue: 8

              The dialogue is realistic and reveals important information about the characters' thoughts and feelings.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation and raises questions about the characters' motivations and the outcome of the legal proceedings.

              Pacing: 9

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension, keeping the audience engaged and interested in the outcome of the legal proceedings.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes proper scene headings, character names in uppercase, and dialogue formatted with character names and dialogue blocks.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, concise action lines, and dialogue that advances the plot and reveals character.


              Critique
              • The scene lacks tension and urgency, as there is no immediate conflict or danger for Ernest. While the conversation between Blackie and the prosecutor is interesting, it feels disconnected from the rest of the scene. The dialogue between Ernest and Tom White is also brief and to the point, lacking emotional depth.
              • The visual elements in the scene are minimal, with no significant actions or movements. The setting changes frequently, which can be disorienting for the audience. The scene would benefit from a clearer and more focused location, such as a hospital room or a prison cell.
              • The dialogue between Ernest and Tom White feels forced and unnatural. The lines lack emotional resonance and do not reveal much about the characters' motivations or feelings. The scene would benefit from more nuanced and complex dialogue that explores Ernest's conflicted emotions and Tom White's role as a protector.
              • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction. It feels like a transitional scene, connecting two separate events without adding much to the overall narrative. The scene would benefit from a clearer and more focused conflict or goal, such as Ernest's struggle to reconcile with Mollie or Tom White's efforts to protect him from Hale's men.
              • The scene ends abruptly, without a clear sense of resolution or closure. The audience is left wondering what happens to Ernest and Mollie, and whether Tom White's protection will be enough to keep them safe. The scene would benefit from a more satisfying and conclusive ending, that ties up loose ends and sets up the next scene.
              Suggestions
              • To add tension and urgency to the scene, consider introducing a new conflict or danger for Ernest, such as a threat from Hale's men or a medical emergency for Mollie. This would create a sense of urgency and make the audience more invested in the scene.
              • To make the dialogue more engaging and emotionally resonant, consider exploring Ernest's feelings of guilt, regret, and fear. This would add depth and complexity to his character and make the audience more invested in his fate.
              • To create a clearer and more focused location, consider setting the scene in a hospital room or a prison cell, where the characters are confined and forced to interact with each other. This would create a more intimate and intense atmosphere, and allow for more nuanced and complex dialogue.
              • To give the scene a clearer and more focused conflict or goal, consider exploring Ernest's struggle to reconcile with Mollie, or Tom White's efforts to protect him from Hale's men. This would add a sense of urgency and tension to the scene, and make the audience more invested in the outcome.
              • To give the scene a more satisfying and conclusive ending, consider resolving the conflict or goal in a meaningful and impactful way. This would create a sense of closure and resolution, and leave the audience with a sense of emotional resonance.



              Scene 44 -  Hamilton's Demand
              220 INT. HOSPITAL - PAWHUSKA 220

              A GUARD with a RIFLE monitors the hospital room. Mollie,
              feeling better, in bed, eating something.

              HALE (V.O.)
              Thou canst not tell what hidden
              chain of circumstances may have
              wrought the sad results that takes
              an honest name away…
              221 INT. HALE’S JAIL CELL – GUTHRIE – DAY 221

              HALE
              Judge Not! The vilest criminal may
              rightfully demand a chance to prove
              his innocence by jury of his land;
              Judge Not!!!

              Hale finishes his poem:

              HALE (CONT'D)
              Get this in the Pawhuska Daily
              Journal, Fairfax Chief, Hominy
              Journal and the Osage County News -

              CUT TO:
              222 INT. HOSPITAL - PAWHUSKA 222

              GUARD with a RIFLE monitors the room. Mollie helped around
              the room. Elizabeth and Cowboy are visting her. We hear
              Ernest’s letter:
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 129.


              ERNEST (V.O.)
              LETTER TO MOLLIE concludes with a
              repeat “It’s time for all the true
              facts to come out…”
              223 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM - ENTRY DOOR TO COURTROOM 223

              A beat of quiet at the door to the courtroom. Tom White looks
              at Ernest who seems very shaky and sweaty.

              TOM WHITE
              Hold steady, son.
              224 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM - CONTINUOUS 224

              Ernest is brought into the courtroom.

              Ernest sees Hale at the defendant’s table with his lawyers.
              Hale looks at Ernest.

              Tom White and John Wren take a seat and look at the all white
              jury. He sees the Judge, HONORABLE JOHN C. POLLOCK.

              Ernest takes the stand, everyone falls quiet for one second
              and then, suddenly:

              W.S. HAMILTON (Hale’s Lawyer) stands up and stops all this
              before it starts by screaming out:

              W.S. HAMILTON
              I demand to confer privately with
              Mr. Burkhart. He is my client.

              Loud objections, minor chaos, then, Ernest looks baffled,
              everyone does:

              W.S. HAMILTON (CONT'D)
              ERNEST BURKHART IS MY CLIENT AND I
              DEMAND AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK WITH
              HIM! HE HAS BEEN MISSING FOR TWO
              MONTHS AND I HAVE NOT HAD THE
              CHANCE TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM
              BEFORE HE TESTIFIES!

              JUDGE POLLOCK
              Is this man really your attorney?
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 130.


              ERNEST
              I don’t know...? I don’t have a
              contract with him but I’m willing
              to talk to him.


              More objections from prosecution, Tom White and Wren look on
              as the courtroom goes nuts.

              W.S. Hamilton and Hale’s team of lawyers get Ernest into a
              back room.

              JUDGE POLLOCK
              Court is adjourned until tomorrow
              at 10.

              Tom White and John Wren look.

              CUT TO:
              Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

              Summary Ernest is brought into the courtroom and sees Hale at the defendant's table with his lawyers. Hamilton, Hale's lawyer, demands to confer privately with Ernest before he testifies, causing chaos in the courtroom. The judge adjourns the court until the next day.
              Strengths
              • Effective tension and conflict
              • Intriguing twist with the unknown attorney
              • Clear progression of the plot
              Weaknesses
              • Lack of emotional impact
              • Limited character development

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 8

              The scene effectively sets up the tension and conflict surrounding Ernest's trial, introduces a surprising twist, and maintains a serious tone throughout. However, there is room for improvement in terms of emotional impact and character development.


              Story Content

              Concept: 7

              The concept of a trial and the pursuit of justice is well-executed in this scene. The introduction of an unknown attorney adds an intriguing twist to the story.

              Plot: 8

              The plot progresses significantly as Ernest is brought into the courtroom and the unexpected demand for a private conference with his attorney creates chaos. The scene effectively builds anticipation for the trial.

              Originality: 6

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar in legal dramas, the specific details and character interactions bring a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


              Character Development

              Characters: 7

              While the scene introduces multiple characters involved in the trial, their personalities and motivations are not fully explored. However, the introduction of the unknown attorney adds an element of mystery.

              Character Changes: 4

              There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is primarily on the trial proceedings.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and stay focused despite the chaotic situation. This reflects their need to prove their innocence and their fear of being wrongly convicted.

              External Goal: 9

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to testify in court and present their side of the story. This reflects the immediate challenge of defending themselves against the accusations.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 9

              The conflict in the scene is high, with the unexpected demand for a private conference creating chaos and uncertainty in the courtroom.

              Opposition: 9

              The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces unexpected challenges and obstacles. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and what impact it will have on the protagonist's case.

              High Stakes: 8

              The stakes are high in this scene, as Ernest's fate hangs in the balance during his trial.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the trial and the unexpected twist with the unknown attorney.

              Unpredictability: 8

              This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden revelation about the protagonist's lawyer and the resulting chaos in the courtroom. The audience is left wondering how this situation will affect the trial and the protagonist's chances of proving their innocence.

              Philosophical Conflict: 7

              There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the concept of justice and the reality of the legal system. The protagonist's belief in the fairness of a jury trial is challenged by the unexpected situation with their lawyer.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 5

              The emotional impact is relatively low in this scene, as the focus is more on the legal proceedings and the twist with the unknown attorney.

              Dialogue: 6

              The dialogue serves its purpose in conveying the necessary information and advancing the plot. However, it lacks memorable lines or distinctiveness.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a pivotal moment in the protagonist's journey, with unexpected developments and heightened emotions. The reader/viewer is drawn into the courtroom drama and the protagonist's uncertain fate.

              Pacing: 7

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of quiet tension and sudden chaos. This creates a rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a location description, introduces characters, and progresses through dialogue and action.


              Critique
              • The scene lacks a clear conflict or resolution. While Ernest confronts Blackie Thompson about lying to the authorities and Tom White questions him about the murder of Henry Roan, these conflicts are not resolved in this scene. Additionally, the scene with John Ramsey being questioned by Tom White and Ernest implicating him also lacks a clear resolution. This leaves the audience feeling unfulfilled and unsure of where the story is headed.
              • The emotional tone of the scene is tense and serious, but it could be more impactful if there were more dialogue and visual elements to heighten the tension. For example, Blackie Thompson could have a more intense reaction to Ernest's accusations, or Tom White could have a more heated exchange with Ramsey.
              • The setting of the scene is also unclear. While it is mentioned that the scene takes place in two locations, it is not specified which location Ernest is in when he confronts Blackie Thompson. This could cause confusion for the audience and make it difficult to follow the action.
              • The dialogue in the scene is brief and to the point, which could make it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters and understand their motivations. To remedy this, the dialogue could be expanded to provide more insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings.
              • The visual elements in the scene are also lacking. While there are no significant visual elements or actions mentioned, the scene could benefit from more visual cues to help the audience understand what is happening and where the characters are. For example, the scene could be shot in a way that emphasizes the tension between Ernest and Blackie Thompson, or the setting could be more vividly described to help the audience visualize the scene.
              Suggestions
              • To improve the scene, the writer could consider adding more dialogue and visual elements to heighten the tension and clarify the setting. For example, Blackie Thompson could have a more intense reaction to Ernest's accusations, such as slamming his fists on the table or storming out of the room. The writer could also consider expanding the dialogue to provide more insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings, which could help the audience connect with them and understand their motivations.
              • The writer could also consider adding more visual cues to help the audience understand what is happening and where the characters are. For example, the scene could be shot in a way that emphasizes the tension between Ernest and Blackie Thompson, such as close-ups of their faces or tight shots of their body language. The writer could also consider describing the setting more vividly to help the audience visualize the scene, such as mentioning the sound of rain tapping against the window or the smell of cigarette smoke in the air.
              • To resolve the conflicts in the scene, the writer could consider having Ernest and Blackie Thompson come to some sort of agreement or understanding. For example, Ernest could apologize for accusing Blackie Thompson of lying, or Blackie Thompson could admit that he made a mistake and offer to help Ernest in some way. This could help to resolve the tension between the characters and move the story forward.
              • To improve the pacing of the scene, the writer could consider breaking it up into smaller, more focused scenes. For example, the scene with John Ramsey being questioned by Tom White and Ernest implicating him could be split into two separate scenes, each with its own conflict and resolution. This could help to make the scene more engaging and prevent it from feeling too rushed or confusing.
              • Finally, the writer could consider adding more backstory or context to the scene to help the audience understand the characters' motivations and the larger context of the story. For example, the writer could provide more information about Blackie Thompson's relationship with Ernest and why he would lie to the authorities. This could help to make the scene more impactful and provide a deeper understanding of the characters and their actions.



              Scene 45 -  Ernest's Dilemma: To Testify or Not to Testify
              225 EXT. WIDE OPEN SPACE – DUSK 225

              A chauffeured limousine and another car. Both parked in the
              middle of the empty highway.

              A couple hundred yards back... Tom White and another in their
              car... They make no effort not to be seen, just keep back and
              watch.

              Ernest steps out of the car... Mollie steps out of the other
              car, driven by Byron... and they come to each other...

              CU. MOLLIE and ERNEST they look at each other and don’t say
              anything... Ernest is seeing Mollie, healthy for the first
              time in a long time... something dawns on him:

              ERNEST
              I’m sorry.

              MOLLIE
              For what?

              ERNEST
              All troubles.

              MOLLIE MOLLIE
              I’ll take you home now. Ah-we-breen-ah-leh theh-kohn-
              tsee-eh.

              ERNEST ERNEST
              Yes, ma’am. Hoh-weh.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 131.


              Ernest and Mollie walk together and get in the car...

              BYRON
              Brother.

              ERNEST
              Brother.

              BYRON
              Freeling and Hamilton want to see
              you at Hale’s tonight. Talk things
              over.

              CUT TO:



              226 OMITTED 226



              227 OMITTED 227
              228 INT. HALE’S RANCH - NIGHT 228

              Faces looking at Ernest as he enters the livingroom. Ernest
              acknowledges the recognizable men and women from town
              including Myrtle and Hale’s lawyers looking at him. And two
              oil executives MR SOLOWEY and MR KRACEON.

              ERNEST
              Sheriff... Aunt Myrtie...

              FREELING
              Ernest, you know Mr Solowey from
              Solowey Oil? And Mr Kraceon from
              Kraceon Oil?...

              Ernest sits.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              If you testify against your Uncle,
              you realize that this can be held
              against you for years to come and
              you can get convicted for the Smith
              murder, do you see that?

              ERNEST
              No.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 132.


              W.S. HAMILTON
              They’re giving you the rope to hang
              yourself, you see that?

              FREELING
              He doesn’t see that.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              Ernest, you realize if you do this
              you will be murdering your Uncle?

              ERNEST
              No, no, no.

              FREELING
              Yes. You have all the power to save
              his life.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              HE IS SAVING YOU, DUMB BOY... Do
              you want to go home right now?

              ERNEST
              Yes.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              Do you want to see your wife and
              kids?

              ERNEST
              Yes.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              These Government Men BEAT you and
              TORTURED you, didn’t they??

              ERNEST
              They kept me awake for days…

              W.S. HAMILTON
              No, they BEAT you.

              ERNEST
              ...yes, sir, they did.

              W.S. HAMILTON
              THANK YOU.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 133.
              Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

              Summary Ernest and Mollie reconcile on a deserted highway, but their peace is short-lived as government officials and oil executives pressure Ernest to incriminate his uncle for the Smith murder. Ernest remains steadfast in his refusal and insists on returning home.
              Strengths
              • Strong character development
              • Tense dialogue
              • High stakes
              Weaknesses
              • Limited physical action

              Ratings
              Overall

              Overall: 8

              The scene effectively builds tension and presents a crucial turning point in the story. The dialogue is impactful and the conflict is high, keeping the audience engaged.


              Story Content

              Concept: 7

              The concept of the scene revolves around the moral dilemma faced by Ernest. It explores themes of loyalty, sacrifice, and the consequences of one's actions.

              Plot: 8

              The plot progresses significantly in this scene as Ernest is presented with a choice that will shape the direction of the story. The stakes are raised, and the tension is heightened.

              Originality: 7

              The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist facing a moral dilemma is not entirely unique, the specific circumstances and the characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


              Character Development

              Characters: 9

              The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly conveyed. Ernest's internal struggle and the conflicting perspectives of the other characters add depth to the scene.

              Character Changes: 8

              Ernest experiences a significant change in this scene as he confronts the reality of his uncle's actions and the potential impact of his testimony. His perspective and priorities shift.

              Internal Goal: 8

              The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to apologize and make amends for all the troubles he has caused. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and his desire to repair his relationship with Mollie.

              External Goal: 7

              The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to attend a meeting at Hale's ranch and discuss matters with Freeling and Hamilton. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing in relation to his uncle's case.


              Scene Elements

              Conflict Level: 9

              The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered. Ernest is torn between loyalty to his uncle and the potential consequences of testifying against him. The conflicting perspectives of the other characters add to the tension.

              Opposition: 9

              The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with conflicting viewpoints and pressures from the other characters. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate these challenges.

              High Stakes: 9

              The stakes are high in this scene as Ernest's decision could have long-lasting consequences for himself, his family, and his relationship with his uncle.

              Story Forward: 9

              The scene moves the story forward significantly by presenting a crucial decision for Ernest and setting the stage for future conflicts and developments.

              Unpredictability: 7

              This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected conflicts and challenges for the protagonist. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will respond to the moral dilemma and the pressure from the other characters.

              Philosophical Conflict: 9

              There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene. The conflict revolves around the protagonist's decision to testify against his uncle and the moral implications of his actions. It challenges his beliefs, values, and worldview.


              Audience Engagement

              Emotional Impact: 8

              The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly regret, doubt, and concern. The audience is invested in Ernest's internal struggle and the potential consequences of his decision.

              Dialogue: 9

              The dialogue is impactful and reveals the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. It effectively conveys the tension and emotional weight of the scene.

              Engagement: 9

              This scene is engaging because it presents a crucial moment in the protagonist's journey and raises important questions about morality and loyalty. The tension and emotional depth of the scene keep the audience invested in the story.

              Pacing: 8

              The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and urgency. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


              Technical Aspect

              Formatting: 9

              The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow.

              Structure: 8

              The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then focuses on the characters' dialogue and actions. The scene transitions smoothly to the next location.


              Critique
              • The scene lacks a clear objective or goal for Ernest and Mollie. It feels like they are simply meeting up and apologizing without any real purpose or conflict. This could be remedied by introducing a new obstacle or challenge for Ernest, such as a threat from Hale's men or a demand from the government to testify against his uncle.
              • The dialogue between Ernest and Mollie is too brief and lacks emotional depth. We don't get a sense of their relationship or the weight of their apologies. This could be improved by adding more dialogue and exploring their backstory and motivations.
              • The scene is also lacking in visual elements or actions. We don't see any significant movements or gestures from the characters, which makes it feel static and unengaging. This could be remedied by adding more movement and camera angles to create a more dynamic and visually interesting scene.
              • The introduction of Byron and the oil executives feels abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the scene. It's unclear why they are there and what their relationship is to Ernest. This could be clarified by establishing their roles and motivations earlier in the scene or in a previous one.
              • The dialogue between Ernest and the government men is repetitive and lacks tension. They make the same demands and threats over and over again, without any real escalation or conflict. This could be improved by introducing new obstacles or challenges for Ernest, such as a deadline for his testimony or a threat to his family's safety.
              Suggestions
              • Introduce a new obstacle for Ernest, such as a demand from Hale's men to kill Ernest's wife and children if he doesn't testify against his uncle. This would create a sense of urgency and tension, and force Ernest to make a difficult choice.
              • Explore the backstory and motivations of Ernest and Mollie in a previous scene, to give their apologies more emotional weight and context.
              • Add more visual elements and actions to the scene, such as Ernest and Mollie walking through a crowded town square or driving through a stormy night. This would create a more dynamic and visually interesting scene.
              • Establish the roles and motivations of Byron and the oil executors earlier in the scene or in a previous one, to clarify their relationship to Ernest and the overall plot.
              • Introduce new obstacles and challenges for Ernest in his interactions with the government men, such as a deadline for his testimony or a threat to his family's safety. This would create a sense of urgency and tension, and force Ernest to make difficult choices.



              Scene 46 -  Mollie and Ernest's Conversation and Ernest's Arrest
              229 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – MORNING 229

              Ernest sits with Mollie. She prepares her insulin and gives
              herself a shot through the scene. He watches her... (Children
              present)?

              MOLLIE
              I had a dream we went to Colorado
              Springs. You told me all your
              secrets and I held them in a box
              for you... we went to a river and
              dumped them away... and we were
              happy, then.

              ERNEST
              The insulin is working... I guess
              you had to get worse before you got
              better? Something like that?

              MOLLIE
              Yes, Ernest. I had to get worse
              before I got better.
              ...What’s going to come now?

              ERNEST
              Well, Mollie... it’s very
              complicated.

              MOLLIE
              No, it shouldn’t be.

              ERNEST
              Yes, I know. But white man’s laws
              are hard to understand... sometimes
              you have to do one thing even
              though you mean the other thing –
              and I know that’s hard for you to
              understand as Osage. So what I have
              to do is to go now and tell the
              real Truth about what these
              government men have done to make me
              lie to them... you see they beat me
              and tortured me so that I would say
              that my Uncle did these things...
              but now I am in my right way... and
              I cannot tell that lie about him.
              So I am going to do the right thing
              now and protect him.

              MOLLIE
              When will you come back?
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 134.


              ERNEST
              Just in a few days this will all be
              over. They have to arrest me just
              for a show of it. But I’m not in
              trouble cause I done nothing wrong
              in this world.

              She finishes giving herself the shot, looks at him.

              MOLLIE
              Osage know a true story when they
              hear one.

              ERNEST
              Yes... this is true to you?

              MOLLIE
              It has too many turns in it to be a
              true story.

              CUT TO:
              230 INT. LIZZIE/MOLLIE’S GRAY HORSE HOME – MORNING 230

              POV Mollie from inside the house looking out the window. See
              Hale’s lawyers and Government Agents waiting outside. Hear a
              door. See Ernest leave the house. Lawmen and lawyers talk to
              Ernest.

              They handcuff him and take him away, he nods to Mollie that
              it’s all just fine.

              CUT TO:
              231 INT. JAIL – DAY 231

              Ernest is brought into jail. Hale is roaming free down here,
              and comes to greet him. He hugs him. A long, silent bear
              hug between them.

              CUT TO:
              232 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM – DAY 232

              CU. MOLLIE: She sits down in FRAME. Osage Tribe are here,
              it’s packed with people, reporters, etc.

              HALE is sitting at defendant table.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 135.


              KELSIE MORRISON is on the stand.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              ... how did you come to kill Anna
              Brown?

              KELSIE
              I was hired by W.K. Hale.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              What did he say to you?

              KELSIE
              I was to get a thousand dollars and
              the money I owed him which was six
              hundred dollars.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Now you say you killed Anna Brown?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              You took her down into that canyon
              there into what was commonly known
              as the Three Mile Canyon, didn’t
              you?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              What did you shoot her with?

              KELSIE
              Automatic.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              And where did you shoot her?

              KELSIE
              Shot her down through the top of
              the head, I guess I killed her.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Now you say you were pretty drunk?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              You knew you were killing her
              didn’t you?
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 136.


              KELSIE
              Yes sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              How did you get her down to the
              place where you killed her?

              KELSIE
              Byron and I carried her down there.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Did you make her drunk so you could
              kill her?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Was she laying down when you killed
              her?

              KELSIE
              No, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              What position was she in?

              KELSIE
              Sitting up. Byron raised her up,
              pulled her up and held her up.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              You stood there and directed him
              how to hold this drunken helpless
              Indian woman down in the bottom of
              that canyon while you got ready to
              shoot a bullet into her brain?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              What happened when you shot her?

              KELSIE
              Turned her loose and she fell back
              down.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Did she make any outcry?

              KELSIE
              No, sir.
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 137.


              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Did you stand there and watch her
              die?

              KELSIE
              No, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              You were satisifed with your work?

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Then you turned and left.

              KELSIE
              Yes, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Have you seen that canyon where you
              killed Anna Brown?

              KELSIE
              I have seen it a hundred times, I
              suppose.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              You have seen it a hundred times
              since? You wanted to go back and
              see where you killed Anna Brown?

              KELSIE
              No, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              Well?

              KELSIE
              No, sir.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
              What did you go back out there for?

              Kelsie smiles.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD (CONT'D)
              Go ahead and tell the jury.

              KELSIE
              Well it was a good place to park
              and drink and put on parties – it
              can’t be seen from the road……
              KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 138.


              CU. MOLLIE.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD (O.C.)
              And where did you go after you
              killed Anna Brown?

              KELSIE (O.C.)
              Went to sleep at Bill Hale’s.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD (O.C.)
              And what did you do then?

              KELSIE (O.C.)
              We stayed drunk.

              PROSECUTOR LEAWARD (OC)
              Where did Byron go?

              KELSIE (OC)
              Back home to Mollie’s.

              CUT TO:
              Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

              Summary In this scene, Mollie prepares her insulin and gives herself a shot while Ernest watches. They discuss their dreams and the complications of white man's laws. Ernest reveals that he will protect his uncle by telling the truth about what the government men did. The scene then cuts to Ernest being handcuffed and taken away after Hale greets him in jail. The scene transitions to a federal courtroom where Kelsie Morrison confesses to killing Anna Brown.
              Strengths
              • Powerful dialogue
              • Emotional depth
              • Strong character development
              • Tension and conflict
              Weaknesses

                Ratings
                Overall

                Overall: 9

                The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters' situations and the high stakes involved. The dialogue is impactful and reveals important plot details. The conflict and tension are palpable, keeping the audience engaged.


                Story Content

                Concept: 8

                The concept of uncovering the truth and seeking justice in a corrupt system is compelling and relevant. The scene effectively explores the moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

                Plot: 9

                The plot progresses significantly in this scene as the protagonist, Ernest, makes a decision to protect his uncle and reveal the truth. The scene sets up the courtroom drama that will unfold.

                Originality: 7

                The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall situation of a protagonist facing a moral dilemma and conflicting with the government is not entirely unique, the specific cultural and societal elements, as well as the emotional depth of the characters, add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to its originality.


                Character Development

                Characters: 9

                The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly conveyed. Mollie's vulnerability and Ernest's determination create a strong emotional connection with the audience.

                Character Changes: 8

                Ernest undergoes a significant character change as he decides to protect his uncle and reveal the truth. This decision showcases his growth and moral integrity.

                Internal Goal: 8

                The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect his uncle and do the right thing by telling the truth about the government's actions. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and his fear of betraying his own people.

                External Goal: 7

                The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to go and tell the truth about the government's actions. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in terms of the government's pressure and his own moral dilemma.


                Scene Elements

                Conflict Level: 9

                The conflict between the characters and the corrupt government agents is intense and drives the scene forward. The emotional conflict within the characters adds depth and tension.

                Opposition: 9

                The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces pressure from the government and the conflict between his Osage beliefs and the 'white man's laws'. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold.

                High Stakes: 10

                The stakes are high as Ernest risks his own freedom to protect his uncle and seek justice. The outcome of the trial will have significant consequences for the characters and their community.

                Story Forward: 9

                The scene moves the story forward by setting up the courtroom trial and the conflict between the protagonist and the government agents. It raises anticipation for the resolution of the conflict.

                Unpredictability: 7

                This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and dialogue. The protagonist's decision to protect his uncle and tell the truth goes against the expectations set up by the government's pressure.

                Philosophical Conflict: 9

                The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's Osage beliefs and values and the 'white man's laws' that he is forced to navigate. This challenges his worldview and raises questions about justice and truth.


                Audience Engagement

                Emotional Impact: 9

                The scene evokes strong emotions through the characters' struggles and sacrifices. The audience is likely to feel empathy and be emotionally invested in the outcome.

                Dialogue: 9

                The dialogue is powerful and reveals important information about the characters' past and their current predicament. It effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal conflicts of the characters.

                Engagement: 9

                This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation with emotional depth and conflict. The dialogue between the characters reveals their internal struggles and raises questions about justice and truth.

                Pacing: 8

                The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of emotional depth and tension with the progression of the plot. The dialogue and action are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged.


                Technical Aspect

                Formatting: 9

                The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines.

                Structure: 8

                The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a dialogue between the protagonist and Mollie, followed by a visual transition to the next location, and then a courtroom scene with a witness testimony.


                Critique
                • The scene starts with a powerful visual element as Ernest watches Mollie prepare her insulin and gives herself a shot. This sets the tone for the emotional intensity of the conversation that follows. The dialogue between Ernest and Mollie is poignant and insightful, exploring the complexities of white man's laws and the complications of their dreams. The scene also touches on themes of truth and protection, as Ernest reveals his plan to protect his uncle by telling the truth about what the government men did to make him lie. The dialogue between Ernest and Mollie is well-written and natural, with a strong sense of character development. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to help convey the emotional weight of the conversation. Perhaps some close-ups on their faces or a shot of their hands as they interact with each other could add to the emotional impact of the scene.
                • The scene then cuts to a more action-packed sequence as Ernest is handcuffed and taken away by lawmen and lawyers. This creates a sense of tension and urgency, as the audience is left wondering what will happen to Ernest. The scene could benefit from more visual elements to help convey the intensity of this moment, such as close-ups on Ernest's face as he says goodbye to Mollie or a shot of the lawmen and lawyers as they take him away. The scene also touches on themes of justice and fairness, as the audience is left wondering whether Ernest will be treated fairly by the legal system.
                • The scene then shifts to a federal courtroom, where Kelsie Morrison confesses to killing Anna Brown. This creates a sense of shock and surprise, as the audience is left wondering who Kelsie Morrison is and why she is confessing to this crime. The scene could benefit from more visual elements to help convey the emotional weight of this moment, such as close-ups on Kelsie Morrison's face as she confesses or a shot of the jury's reaction to her confession. The scene also touches on themes of truth and justice, as the audience is left wondering whether Kelsie Morrison's confession will lead to justice for Anna Brown and her family.
                • Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging, with strong dialogue and visual elements. However, it could benefit from more visual elements to help convey the emotional weight of the scenes and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
                Suggestions
                • To help convey the emotional weight of the scenes, the scene could benefit from more close-ups on the characters' faces and hands as they interact with each other. This would help to create a more intimate and emotional connection between the audience and the characters, and would help to convey the intensity of the scenes. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more shots of the environment, such as close-ups on the insulin syringe or the handcuffs, to help convey the emotional weight of these objects and their significance in the scenes.
                • To help create a more immersive experience for the audience, the scene could benefit from more shots of the audience's reactions to the events unfolding on screen. This would help to create a sense of tension and urgency, as the audience is left wondering what will happen next. Additionally, the scene could benefit from more shots of the courtroom and the legal proceedings, to help convey the complexity of the legal system and the challenges faced by the characters in this scene.



                Scene 47 -  Ernest's Grief
                233 INT. MOLLIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – FLASHBACK 233

                The night of the murder. Mollie brings Byron a pillow as he
                gets on the couch to go to sleep. She comes upstairs and gets
                into bed with Ernest. She turns and holds on to him...

                CUT TO:
                234 EXT. THREE MILE CREEK – FLASHBACK – NIGHT 234

                Byron props up Anna’s limp body as Kelsie raises his gun and
                aims at the back of her head...

                CUT TO:
                235 INT. JAIL CELL – NIGHT 235

                Ernest is asleep in his cell. Tom White comes to see him.

                TOM WHITE
                Ernest, wake up... Ernest, I’m to
                tell you that your child has died.

                ERNEST
                What child?
                KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 139.


                TOM WHITE
                I don’t know the name.

                ERNEST
                Cowboy? Which one?

                TOM WHITE
                Is there a child that’s had trouble
                with her lungs - like whooping
                cough?

                ERNEST
                Who told you this? How do you know
                this?

                TOM WHITE
                This was told to me by our agents
                in Fairfax. Mollie has gone to see
                and take it home.

                ERNEST
                It’s the baby... it’s the baby
                Anna. Oooo lord. Ooo my lord no.

                TOM WHITE
                Bless you son, I’m sorry for your
                loss.

                Tom White walks away, past Hale’s cell. Hale hears Ernest
                crying and crying and moaning in loss. Hale gets the Jailers
                attention.

                HALE (TO JAILER)
                What happened?

                JAILER
                Told him his baby died...

                HALE
                Which one?

                JAILER
                The baby.

                HALE
                Sad news. Sad news, terrible
                tragedy. White man’s disease.
                We’ve brought nothing but trouble
                to them.

                Ernest weeps. Hale tries to call to him...
                KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 140.


                HALE (CONT'D)
                (Boy...boy it’s alright...) Suffer
                little children, and forbid them
                not, to come unto me: for of such
                is the kingdom of heaven. And he
                laid his hands on them...

                CUT TO:
                236 INT. BIGHEART’S HOUSE - BEDROOM – DAY 236

                In the bedroom, Mollie is overcome with grief, kneeling by
                bed. Mollie's LITTLE GIRL ANNA is wrapped in a blanket lying
                motionless on the bed. The BIGHEARTS standing.

                CUT TO:
                237 EXT. GRAY HORSE CEMETERY - DAY 237

                Ernest, in shackles and handcuffs, escorted by Tom White out
                of car…

                Mollie & Ernest with two Marshalls at his elbow, the
                Bighearts and Mollie standing at a freshly dug grave.

                The Catholic Priest is presiding over the burial of Little
                Anna. An ACOLYTE assists.

                PRIEST PRIEST
                Lord, have mercy. Christ, Kyrie eleison. Christe
                have mercy. Lord, have mercy. eleison.
                Our Father - Kyrie eleison. Pater noster -

                (inaudibly) - qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum.
                Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo, et
                in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et
                dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus
                debitoribus nostris. (until...)

                PRIEST (CONT'D) PRIEST (CONT'D)
                (aloud) And lead us not into (aloud) Et ne nos inducas in
                temptation. tentationem.


                MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE
                But deliver us from evil. Sed libera nos a malo.
                KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 141.


                PRIEST PRIEST
                Let little children come to Sinite parvulos venire ad me.
                me.


                MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE
                For theirs is the kingdom of Talium est enim regnum
                heaven. caelorum.


                PRIEST PRIEST
                The Lord be with you. Dominus vobiscum.


                MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE MOLLIE & BIGHEARTS & ACOLYTE
                May He also be with you. Et cum spiritu tuo.

                TIME CUT:

                The casket and grave are then sprinkled with holy water and
                incensed. Elizabeth PLACES A PIECE OF FRUIT on the casket.

                Ernest reacts.



                238 TIME CUT: 238

                ERNEST
                I love you. I love you. I’ve
                always loved you, Mollie.

                Tom White puts Ernest in his car. Ernest is shaken.

                TOM WHITE
                You still strong? (still up for
                this?)

                Ernest gives White a look. They drive off.



                239 OMITTED 239
                Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

                Summary As Mollie brings Byron a pillow and Kelsie aims a gun at Anna's head in flashbacks, Ernest learns of his child's death, causing him great emotional distress. Hale tries to comfort him, while Mollie grieves over Anna's body. The scene ends with Tom White putting Ernest in his car.
                Strengths
                • Powerful portrayal of grief and loss
                • Authentic dialogue
                • Strong emotional impact
                Weaknesses

                  Ratings
                  Overall

                  Overall: 9

                  The scene effectively conveys the intense emotions of grief and loss through powerful dialogue and visual descriptions. The tragic news of the child's death creates a strong emotional impact on the audience.


                  Story Content

                  Concept: 8

                  The concept of exploring the aftermath of a child's death and the emotional turmoil it causes is compelling and emotionally resonant.

                  Plot: 7

                  The plot focuses on the immediate aftermath of the child's death and the characters' reactions to the tragic news. It effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and sets up further conflicts and character development.

                  Originality: 5

                  The level of originality in this scene is relatively low. It follows a familiar structure of depicting a character's emotional response to a tragic event. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds some freshness to the scene.


                  Character Development

                  Characters: 9

                  The characters' grief and emotional reactions are portrayed with depth and authenticity. The scene allows for exploration of their inner turmoil and establishes their emotional arcs.

                  Character Changes: 8

                  The characters undergo significant emotional changes as they process the news of the child's death. Their grief and loss shape their future actions and decisions.

                  Internal Goal: 8

                  The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to process and cope with the loss of his child. It reflects his deeper need for emotional connection and his fear of losing his loved ones.

                  External Goal: 6

                  The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not clearly defined. The immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing revolve around the news of his child's death and his emotional response to it.


                  Scene Elements

                  Conflict Level: 5

                  The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with their grief and try to come to terms with the tragic news.

                  Opposition: 3

                  The opposition in this scene is not strong. The main obstacle is the protagonist's emotional turmoil, which is internal and not actively opposed by other characters or external forces.

                  High Stakes: 9

                  The stakes are high as the characters grapple with the devastating loss of their child. Their emotional well-being and relationships are at risk.

                  Story Forward: 7

                  The scene moves the story forward by establishing the emotional stakes and setting up further conflicts and character development.

                  Unpredictability: 4

                  This scene is predictable because it follows a common narrative trope of a character experiencing grief and loss. The audience can anticipate the emotional journey of the protagonist.

                  Philosophical Conflict: 0

                  There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


                  Audience Engagement

                  Emotional Impact: 10

                  The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of sadness, grief, and empathy in the audience.

                  Dialogue: 8

                  The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and reactions to the tragic news. It is raw, heartfelt, and adds to the overall emotional impact of the scene.

                  Engagement: 9

                  This scene is engaging because it explores the protagonist's emotional turmoil and creates a sense of empathy and connection with the audience. The dialogue and actions are emotionally charged and keep the audience invested in the story.

                  Pacing: 8

                  The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing the audience to feel the weight of the protagonist's grief and giving them time to process the emotional impact of the events.


                  Technical Aspect

                  Formatting: 9

                  The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

                  Structure: 7

                  The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It transitions smoothly between different locations and effectively conveys the emotional journey of the protagonist.


                  Critique
                  • The scene starts with a flashback to the night of the murder, which sets the tone for the emotional intensity that follows. However, the transition to the next flashback is abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition to help the audience follow the timeline.
                  • The dialogue between Tom White and Ernest is effective in conveying the tragic news of Anna's death, but it could be more impactful if the audience had more context about Anna's illness and the circumstances surrounding her death.
                  • The scene at Anna's burial is powerful and poignant, but it could be enhanced by more detail about the funeral service and the emotions of the characters.
                  • The scene ends with Ernest being taken away by Tom White, but it's unclear where he's being taken or why. This creates a sense of ambiguity that could be resolved in the next scene to provide more clarity for the audience.
                  • Overall, the scene is effective in conveying the emotional turmoil of the characters, but it could benefit from more context and detail to help the audience fully understand the events and emotions being portrayed.
                  Suggestions
                  • Consider adding more detail about Anna's illness and the circumstances surrounding her death to make the news of her death more impactful.
                  • Consider adding more detail about the funeral service and the emotions of the characters to make the scene at Anna's burial more powerful.
                  • Consider clarifying where Ernest is being taken and why in the next scene to provide more clarity for the audience.
                  • Consider adding more context and detail to the scene to help the audience fully understand the events and emotions being portrayed.



                  Scene 48 -  Ernest's Dilemma: Testify Against Brother or Protect Family Ties?
                  240 INT. JAIL CELL – NIGHT 240

                  Tom White brings Ernest to see Bill Hale in his jail cell.

                  Ernest safe on the other side of the bars, says:
                  KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 142.


                  ERNEST
                  Hello, King.

                  HALE
                  How is everyone?

                  ERNEST
                  Not good.

                  HALE
                  I know, my son, I feel it too.

                  ERNEST
                  You know, I’ve got to take care of
                  the two kids and Mollie.

                  Ernest looks at Hale.

                  HALE
                  Uh huh... What are you thinking of?

                  ERNEST
                  ...to testify.

                  HALE
                  That’s a strong choice to make
                  against adversity...

                  ERNEST
                  I have to, Uncle.

                  HALE
                  ... They gave you a deal.

                  ERNEST
                  ... a deal...

                  HALE
                  They won’t hold to it.

                  ERNEST
                  It’s the Federal Government.

                  HALE
                  That’s right - it’s the Federal
                  government. That’s why I say that.

                  Pauses. Let’s Ernest reflect.

                  HALE (CONT'D)
                  All that’s really going to happen
                  is the family is going to be broke
                  up. Is that what you want?
                  (MORE)
                  KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 143.

                  HALE (CONT'D)
                  It’s just not going to make any
                  difference. I tell you this from
                  the deepest part of my heart.

                  ERNEST
                  People have turned. They’ve seen a
                  dark streak through the country.
                  It’s different now, Bill - the
                  Osage -

                  HALE
                  (interrupts) - The Osage know. They
                  know who gave them the schools -
                  the streets they walk on... I’ve
                  brought them into the great 20th
                  century. What have you done -
                  you’ve created a family with my
                  help - because of me.

                  ERNEST
                  They’re not going to stand by you,
                  Bill. Not now - it’s over - after
                  all this -

                  HALE
                  No, they will, they will - Oh there
                  might be some public outcry ‘for
                  awhile’ but then people will
                  forget. They won’t even remember -
                  they won’t even care. Nothing’s
                  gonna change, son, it’s just gonna
                  be another “everyday”... common
                  tragedy.

                  ERNEST
                  ... common, huh?...

                  HALE
                  If it’s the last thing you hear me
                  tell you - please don’t do
                  something you’re gonna regret for
                  the rest of your life.

                  ERNEST
                  Regret? Regret?! I got nothing but
                  regrets. I regret now that I should
                  have done this earlier.

                  HALE
                  You really believe you’ll be better
                  off after you do what you think you
                  ought to do? - you’re gonna go on
                  living like nothing happened?
                  (MORE)
                  KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 144.

                  HALE (CONT'D)
                  You’ve got a family, children, you
                  lost one already. Don’t make it
                  more of a tragedy (than it already
                  is) - .

                  ERNEST
                  It’s already a goddamn tragedy! I
                  don’t trust you, Bill. Nobody
                  trusts you. You understand that?

                  HALE
                  Son - (I know you believe you think
                  you’re making the right decision- )

                  ERNEST
                  (Interrupting) I’m not your son,
                  Bill.

                  HALE
                  (Oh yes you are!) Whether you are
                  or you’re not, you’re a son to me.

                  Ernest takes this in.

                  ERNEST
                  I thank you, Bill, but I gotta look
                  after my family... I can’t -

                  Ernest backs away.

                  HALE
                  I don’t know what to say and I’m
                  sorry to hear that. I forgive you
                  for you know not what you say. The
                  Lord has forgiven you, so you also
                  must forgive. I love you, son.
                  Don’t throw it all away.

                  We now see that Agents Burger and Smith have been secretly
                  listening to the conversation on a recording device.

                  CUT TO:



                  241 OMITTED 241
                  Genres: ["Drama"]

                  Summary Ernest visits his incarcerated brother, Bill Hale, to decide whether to testify against him in court. Hale pleads with Ernest to keep quiet, reminding him of their familial bond. Agents Burger and Smith eavesdrop on the conversation. Ernest remains conflicted and leaves the cell, with Hale declaring his love and warning Ernest not to throw away their family ties.
                  Strengths
                  • Powerful dialogue
                  • Emotional depth
                  • Exploration of complex themes
                  Weaknesses

                    Ratings
                    Overall

                    Overall: 9

                    The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters' decisions and the potential consequences. The dialogue is poignant and thought-provoking, and the conflict between family loyalty and personal convictions adds depth to the scene.


                    Story Content

                    Concept: 8

                    The concept of the scene revolves around the internal struggle of the protagonist, Ernest, as he grapples with the decision to testify against his family. This internal conflict is relatable and engaging.

                    Plot: 8

                    The plot of the scene centers around Ernest's decision to testify and the potential impact it will have on his family. The tension and stakes are high, driving the emotional impact of the scene.

                    Originality: 6

                    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character deciding whether or not to testify is not entirely unique, the specific dynamics and conflicting beliefs between the characters add freshness to the familiar scenario. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


                    Character Development

                    Characters: 9

                    The characters in the scene, particularly Ernest and Bill Hale, are well-developed and their motivations and emotions are clearly conveyed. Their conflicting perspectives create compelling drama.

                    Character Changes: 9

                    Ernest undergoes a significant character change in the scene as he decides to prioritize his family's well-being over his loyalty to Bill Hale. This decision marks a turning point in his character arc.

                    Internal Goal: 8

                    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make a difficult decision regarding testifying. This reflects his deeper need to protect his family and his fear of the consequences of his decision.

                    External Goal: 7

                    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to decide whether or not to testify. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as he navigates the legal system and the potential impact on his family.


                    Scene Elements

                    Conflict Level: 9

                    The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Ernest struggles with his decision to testify against his family. However, there is also an underlying conflict between Ernest and Bill Hale, adding tension to the scene.

                    Opposition: 8

                    The opposition in this scene is strong as the characters have conflicting beliefs and goals. The audience is unsure of how the conversation will unfold and what decision the protagonist will make.

                    High Stakes: 9

                    The stakes in the scene are high, as Ernest's decision could potentially break up his family and have long-lasting consequences. The emotional weight of the scene adds to the sense of high stakes.

                    Story Forward: 8

                    The scene moves the story forward by revealing Ernest's decision to testify and the potential consequences it may have on his family. It sets up future conflicts and developments.

                    Unpredictability: 7

                    This scene is unpredictable because it is unclear how the protagonist will ultimately decide and what the consequences of his decision will be. The conflicting arguments presented by the characters add to the unpredictability.

                    Philosophical Conflict: 9

                    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene. The conflict revolves around the protagonist's belief in seeking justice and holding those responsible accountable, while the other character argues for the preservation of family and the potential consequences of his actions.


                    Audience Engagement

                    Emotional Impact: 10

                    The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly sadness and regret. The audience can empathize with Ernest's internal turmoil and the weight of his decision.

                    Dialogue: 9

                    The dialogue in the scene is powerful and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters. It effectively conveys the weight of their decisions and the complexity of their relationships.

                    Engagement: 9

                    This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes decision for the protagonist and explores conflicting beliefs and emotions. The dialogue is impactful and keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

                    Pacing: 8

                    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of reflection and tension to build. The dialogue exchanges are well-timed and keep the scene moving forward.


                    Technical Aspect

                    Formatting: 9

                    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

                    Structure: 8

                    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and presents a conflict that drives the scene forward.


                    Critique
                    • The scene between Ernest and Bill Hale is intense and emotional, but it could benefit from more specific details about the consequences of Ernest's decision to testify. The audience needs to understand why testifying will break up the family and what exactly will happen to them. Without this clarity, the scene feels somewhat vague and ambiguous. Additionally, the dialogue between Ernest and Hale could use more specific examples of how the family will be affected. This would make the scene more impactful and help the audience connect with the characters on a deeper level.
                    • Another issue with the scene is the lack of visual elements. The audience is relying solely on the dialogue to understand what's happening, which can be overwhelming at times. Adding some visual cues, such as Ernest's facial expressions or body language, could help convey his emotions and make the scene more engaging. Similarly, adding some visual details to the setting, such as the condition of the jail cell or the expressions of the guards, could help create a more immersive experience for the audience.
                    • The dialogue between Ernest and Hale also feels a bit repetitive at times. While the themes of family, loyalty, and regret are important, the scene could benefit from more variety in the dialogue. Adding some unexpected twists or turns to the conversation could make it more engaging and memorable. For example, Hale could reveal a secret about Ernest's past that changes his perspective on the situation, or Ernest could bring up a specific incident that highlights the consequences of Hale's actions.
                    • Finally, the scene could use more tension and conflict between Ernest and Hale. While their conversation is intense, it could benefit from more moments of disagreement and confrontation. This would make the scene more dynamic and engaging, and help the audience understand the complexity of their relationship.
                    • Overall, the scene is a strong one, but it could benefit from more specific details, visual elements, and dialogue variety. By addressing these issues, the scene could become even more impactful and memorable.
                    Suggestions
                    • To address the issue of specific consequences, the writer could add some dialogue that highlights how testifying will affect the family's finances, reputation, and relationships. For example, Ernest could say something like, 'The government will take everything we have, and we'll be left with nothing but debt and shame.' This would help the audience understand the gravity of the situation and connect with the characters on a deeper level.
                    • To add more visual elements, the writer could describe the condition of the jail cell in more detail, such as the peeling paint, rusted bars, and dim lighting. This would help create a more immersive experience for the audience and make the scene more engaging. Similarly, the writer could describe Ernest's facial expressions and body language, such as his clenched fists, furrowed brow, and tense shoulders. This would help convey his emotions and make the scene more impactful.
                    • To add more variety to the dialogue, the writer could introduce some unexpected twists or turns, such as Hale revealing a secret about Ernest's past that changes his perspective on the situation. For example, Hale could say something like, 'I remember when you were just a boy, and you looked up to me like a father. How could you turn against me now?' This would add some complexity to their relationship and make the scene more engaging.
                    • To add more tension and conflict, the writer could introduce some moments of disagreement and confrontation. For example, Ernest could say something like, 'You've always been a liar, Bill. How can I trust you now?' This would make the scene more dynamic and engaging, and help the audience understand the complexity of their relationship.



                    Scene 49 -  Ernest Testifies in Court
                    242 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM – DAY 242

                    Ernest on the stand. He looks at Mollie, in her blanket, in
                    the courtroom. The Prosecutor begins:
                    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 145.


                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Mr. Burkhart, is this of your own
                    accord?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    No one has promised you anything?

                    ERNEST
                    No sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Did you seek out John Ramsey at
                    your Uncle’s behest to kill Henry
                    Roan?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Did you drive from Fairfax to
                    Ripley to tell John Ramsey to tell
                    Asa Kirby to do a job?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes, sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Who asked you to do this?

                    ERNEST
                    My Uncle William Hale.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Do you see him?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes, sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Can you point to him?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes, sir, right there.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    I’d ask that the record reflect the
                    witness identified the Defendant,
                    Mr. Hale.
                    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 146.


                    JUDGE POLLOCK
                    The record shall so reflect.


                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    What was the job that he wanted Asa
                    Kirby to do?

                    ERNEST
                    He wanted to blow up Reta and Bill
                    Smith.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Why would he want them blown up?

                    ERNEST
                    So to get their money.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Are you a married man?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes, sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    What is your wife’s name?

                    ERNEST
                    Mollie Burkhart.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    She is Reta’s sister?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes, sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    She is also the sister of Anna
                    Brown who was murdered.

                    ERNEST
                    Yes.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    And her mother Lizzie Q who is
                    dead?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    And her sister Minnie is dead?
                    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 147.


                    ERNEST
                    Yes.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    And all these dead women are Indian
                    women, are they?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    If Mollie, your wife, died, who
                    would get her Oil Money?

                    ERNEST
                    Me and our children.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Did your Uncle lay out a plan to you
                    by which you would benefit from the
                    deaths of all these Indian women?

                    ERNEST
                    ...yes, sir.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    And you helped your Uncle on your
                    own making?

                    ERNEST
                    Yes.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD
                    Was part of this plan that you
                    would meet and marry Mollie Kyle?
                    And kill her family and her for
                    their Indian Oil Money?

                    ERNEST
                    No, sir. I met and married my wife
                    because I picked her up in my cab.

                    PROSECUTOR LEAWARD (O.C.)
                    You did not marry her because your
                    Uncle directed you to?

                    ERNEST
                    No, sir. I loved my wife from
                    because that’s what happened to us
                    when I picked her up in my cab.

                    CU MOLLIE – Listening to this in the courtroom.
                    KOTFM - Final Shooting Script - August 10, 2022 148.


                    243 OMITTED 243
                    Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

                    Summary Ernest takes the stand and reveals that his uncle asked him to kill two people and blow up another couple to get their money. The prosecutor questions Ernest about his relationship with Mollie, a Native American woman, and her deceased family members. Ernest denies marrying Mollie for her oil money and insists he loved her from the moment he met her.
                    Strengths
                    • Compelling dialogue
                    • Revealing crucial plot information
                    • Building tension
                    Weaknesses
                    • Lack of visual elements
                    • Limited character development

                    Ratings
                    Overall

                    Overall: 8

                    The scene effectively builds tension and reveals crucial information about the plot and characters. The dialogue is concise and impactful, keeping the audience engaged. However, the scene lacks visual elements and relies heavily on dialogue.


                    Story Content

                    Concept: 7

                    The concept of a protagonist being manipulated by his uncle into committing crimes is intriguing and adds depth to the story. However, the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling to enhance the concept.

                    Plot: 9

                    The plot unfolds through the protagonist's testimony, providing important details about the criminal conspiracy and the protagonist's relationship with his wife. The scene effectively advances the overall plot.

                    Originality: 6

                    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a witness testifying in a courtroom is familiar, the specific details of the case and the protagonist's personal connection to the events add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


                    Character Development

                    Characters: 8

                    The characters are well-defined, with the protagonist torn between loyalty to his uncle and his love for his wife. The scene reveals the complexity of their relationships and motivations.

                    Character Changes: 8

                    The protagonist undergoes a significant change as he confesses his involvement in the criminal plot and betrays his uncle. This change sets the stage for further character development.

                    Internal Goal: 8

                    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to tell the truth and provide honest testimony. This reflects their deeper need for justice and their fear of the consequences of lying under oath.

                    External Goal: 7

                    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to answer the prosecutor's questions accu