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Scene 1 -  A Journey Begins
A COMPLETE UNKNOWN
Screenplay by James Mangold and Jay Cocks
1 We hear a tinny wire recording of YOUNG WOODY GUTHRIE, his 1
voice sharp and true :

..I've sung this song and I'll sing it
again. Of the people I've met and the
places I've been..

Some of the troubles that bothered my
mind and a lotta good people I've left
behind, singing..

So long, it's been good to know ya. So
long, it's been good to --

The sound of traffic and news radio hits us as we--
CUT TO:
2 INT. STATION WAGON -- WET DAY -- WINTER 1961 2

Through the rear window, marshlands of Secaucus.
Overpasses and steel rails converge and swirl.

Knees against the glass, A SLIGHT YOUNG MAN (19), stares at
the world, his back wedged on a guitar case, among luggage.
This is BOB. He holds --

A SMALL NOTEBOOK filled with scrawlings.
“Song for Woody” it says on top of one page.

Up front, A BUZZCUT MAN, 50, drives. Beside him, HIS WIFE, a
large woman, 50’s, hair net, holds a map. Through the
windshield, the Empire State Building pokes over the Lincoln
Tunnel entrance up ahead.
CUT TO:
3 EXT. 10TH AVENUE -- WET DAY -- MOMENTS LATER 3

The station wagon pulls away, leaving Bob standing at the
tunnel exit with his bag and guitar case.

Bob looks at his surroundings; Hell’s Kitchen, harsh and
gray, taller buildings looming uptown, the spire of the
Empire State towering over it all.

On the corner A COP AND A PUERTO RICAN DRIVER argue beside a
double parked truck.

Bob turns up his collar and looks at a clipping from his
notebook. He considers things and then heads southbound.

CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 2.
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary On a wet winter day in 1961, 19-year-old Bob sits in the back of a station wagon, clutching a guitar case and a notebook titled 'Song for Woody.' As the car drives away, he finds himself alone at the tunnel exit in Hell's Kitchen, observing a tense argument between a cop and a Puerto Rican driver. Reflecting on his surroundings and the nostalgic music of Woody Guthrie, Bob contemplates his introspective journey amidst the chaotic urban environment. He ultimately turns up his collar and heads southbound, leaving the turmoil behind as he embarks on his path.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Effective use of music and imagery
  • Engaging introduction of main character
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Low immediate conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the tone and introduces the main character while incorporating elements of music and nostalgia. The imagery and dialogue create a strong emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a song by Woody Guthrie to introduce the main character and establish the tone is innovative and engaging. It sets the scene apart and creates a unique atmosphere.

Plot: 8

The plot is subtly introduced through the arrival of the main character in a new setting, hinting at the beginning of his journey. It sets up the initial conflict and sets the story in motion.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a familiar theme of a young artist finding their way in a new city, but the detailed descriptions and introspective dialogue add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The main character, Bob, is introduced effectively through his actions and surroundings, hinting at his inner thoughts and motivations. The supporting characters add depth to the scene and the overall story.

Character Changes: 7

The main character, Bob, undergoes a subtle change as he arrives in a new setting and begins to navigate his surroundings. His inner thoughts and emotions hint at a potential character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find his place in the world and pursue his passion for music. This reflects his deeper need for self-expression and belonging.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal in this scene is to navigate the unfamiliar city and find his way to his destination. This reflects the immediate challenge of adapting to a new environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict is subtly hinted at through the harsh urban setting and the inner turmoil of the main character. It sets up the potential conflicts and challenges to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and obstacles for the protagonist, but not overwhelming to the point of predictability. It keeps the audience engaged and invested in Bob's journey.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on the emotional and thematic elements rather than immediate danger or conflict. However, the emotional stakes are high for the main character.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing the main character, setting the tone, and hinting at the conflicts and challenges to come. It establishes the foundation for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents a young man in an unfamiliar city facing unknown challenges, leaving the audience curious about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bob's idealistic view of pursuing his music career and the harsh reality of the city he finds himself in. This challenges his beliefs about success and the music industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact due to the reflective and melancholic tone, the use of music, and the introduction of the main character in a vulnerable state. It resonates with the audience and sets up an emotional connection.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying emotions and setting the tone for the scene. The use of the song lyrics adds depth to the dialogue and enhances the overall atmosphere.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces a compelling protagonist, sets up a sense of mystery and conflict, and leaves the audience wanting to know more about Bob's journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of descriptive narrative and character actions that maintain the audience's interest and build tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings and descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character introductions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The opening with Woody Guthrie's recording sets a nostalgic tone, effectively grounding the audience in the folk music era. However, the transition from the audio to the visual could be more seamless. Consider incorporating visuals that reflect the lyrics, such as images of people and places that Woody mentions, to create a stronger emotional connection.
  • Bob's introduction as a 'slight young man' is effective in establishing his character, but the description could be expanded to include more sensory details about his appearance or demeanor. This would help the audience visualize him more vividly and understand his emotional state as he arrives in a new environment.
  • The juxtaposition of Bob's hopeful journey with the harsh reality of Hell's Kitchen is compelling, but the scene could benefit from more internal conflict. Adding Bob's thoughts or feelings about leaving home or his aspirations could deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations.
  • The dialogue is absent in this scene, which can work well for establishing mood, but consider incorporating some internal monologue or brief interactions with passersby to provide insight into Bob's character and his perspective on the world around him.
  • The description of the cop and Puerto Rican driver arguing is a strong visual element that hints at social tensions of the time. However, it could be more impactful if Bob's reaction to this scene is included. Does he feel empathy, fear, or indifference? This could further develop his character and set the stage for his journey.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the transition from the audio of Woody Guthrie to the visual scene by incorporating visuals that reflect the themes of his song, such as images of community or struggle.
  • Expand on Bob's physical description and emotional state to create a more vivid image of him for the audience.
  • Introduce internal conflict by adding Bob's thoughts or feelings about his journey and aspirations, which would provide depth to his character.
  • Consider including brief interactions or internal monologues to give the audience insight into Bob's perspective and emotional state.
  • Include Bob's reaction to the argument between the cop and the Puerto Rican driver to further develop his character and highlight the social issues of the time.



Scene 2 -  Defiance in the Courtroom
4 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM -- SOUTHERN DISTRICT -- WET DAY 4

Everyone rises to attention before A FEDERAL JUDGE WITH A
SINATRA TOUPÉE AND EYE PATCH. Among the crowd, beatniks,
hippies, academics and reporters.

At the Defendant’s table, PETE SEEGER, 41, beside a legal
team. Harvard educated, Pete is a folk missionary a
storyteller and a star. Behind him, Pete’s wife, TOSHI, 40.

JUDGE
Mr. Seeger. Do you have anything to
say before I pronounce your sentence?

PETE
Your honor, I’ve never said or done
anything subversive of my country. And
that’s not why I’m here. I’m here
because some Congressmen don’t like
some people I sang for.

JUDGE
Communist people.

PETE
I’ve sung for every type of person,
your honor. In churches, unions,
saloons and street corners. I’ve sung
for the richest richers, oldest
oldsters and the youngest youngsters.
I’ve sung for anyone; black, brown,
yellow, white, blue and red.

The gallery cheers. The Judge’s face sours.

PETE (CONT’D)
My friend Woody Guthrie, your honor,
he’s been on my mind. He’s not well.
Woody likes to say a good song can
only do good. So, might I sing a good
song for you? One he wrote?

JUDGE
No, you may not, Mr. Seeger.

Pete reaches for his Vega long neck and the gallery reacts.
The one-eyed Judge bangs his gavel.

JUDGE (CONT’D)
I said NO!

PETE
You sure? It’s free.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 3.


The gallery cheers! More gavel banging.

JUDGE
Quiet! This is a courtroom, not a
damned hootenanny!
(then)
Mr. Seeger. A jury has found you
guilty of Contempt of Congress. You
refused to answer questions--

PETE
I refused to name names, sir.

JUDGE
Refused to answer questions under
Federal subpoena.

PETE
If I can’t sing, perhaps, your honor,
I could tell you a wonderful parable--

JUDGE
(bangs gavel)
Enough! Mr. Seeger, you are sentenced
to one year of confinement at a
Federal Penitentiary.

The gallery gasps. Pete looks to Toshi as Pete’s lawyer leans
over, whispers.

LAWYER
You’re not going to jail, Pete. We’re
posting bail. And Captain Hook left a
trail wide open for appeal.

PETE
Don’t make fun of his eye, Frank.

The Judge bangs his gavel again as we--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In a federal courtroom on a rainy day, folk singer Pete Seeger stands trial for Contempt of Congress, having refused to answer questions during a congressional inquiry. Despite his passionate defense and request to sing a Woody Guthrie song, the stern judge sentences him to one year in prison. The audience gasps at the verdict, but Pete's lawyer reassures him about the appeal process. The scene blends tension with humor, highlighted by Pete's light-hearted remarks about the judge's eye as the gavel bangs to conclude the proceedings.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • Compelling conflict
  • Historical relevance
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched courtroom drama tropes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and defiance of the protagonist in a historical context, with strong dialogue and character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a courtroom scene to explore themes of justice, freedom of expression, and the power of music as protest is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the protagonist's defiance of authority and the consequences he faces for his actions, driving the narrative forward and building tension.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of artistic freedom and government censorship, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Pete Seeger portrayed as a principled and defiant protagonist, and the Judge as a stern authority figure. The interactions between characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Pete Seeger undergoes a change from defiance to acceptance of his fate, showing growth and resilience in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his integrity and stand by his beliefs despite facing legal consequences. This reflects his deeper need for authenticity and staying true to his values.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to avoid imprisonment and navigate the legal system to secure his freedom. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the courtroom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Pete Seeger and the Judge, as well as the larger conflict of freedom of expression versus government censorship, is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing legal consequences, the Judge's authority, and societal expectations that create obstacles to his freedom.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Pete Seeger faces imprisonment for his beliefs and actions, highlighting the personal and political consequences of his defiance.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the conflict, consequences, and stakes for the protagonist, setting up future developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the legal proceedings, the protagonist's defiance, and the Judge's reactions that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between individual freedom of expression and government authority. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in artistic freedom and social justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through the protagonist's defiance and the injustice he faces, as well as the support he receives from the gallery.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the characters' motivations and beliefs effectively. It drives the conflict and tension in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with well-timed dialogue exchanges, dramatic pauses, and escalating conflict that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear character introductions, conflict escalation, and a dramatic resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between artistic expression and governmental authority, which is a central theme in the narrative. Pete Seeger's character is well-defined as a passionate advocate for music and free speech, and his dialogue reflects his commitment to these ideals.
  • The use of the judge's character, with his Sinatra toupee and eye patch, adds a layer of humor and absurdity to the serious subject matter. This juxtaposition helps to lighten the mood while still addressing the gravity of the situation.
  • The dialogue is engaging and captures the essence of the characters, particularly Pete's defiance and the judge's authoritarian demeanor. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, Pete's long list of people he has sung for could be streamlined to maintain the audience's attention.
  • The reactions of the gallery provide a vivid backdrop to the scene, showcasing the diverse audience and their support for Pete. However, the scene could benefit from more specific visual descriptions of the audience's reactions to enhance the emotional stakes.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from Pete's speech to the judge's sentencing could be more fluid. The abruptness of the judge's gavel banging could be softened with a brief moment of silence or tension to heighten the impact of the sentence.
Suggestions
  • Consider condensing Pete's list of people he has sung for to make it more impactful. A shorter, more poignant list could convey the same message without losing the audience's attention.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the courtroom and the audience's reactions to create a more immersive experience. For example, describe the expressions on the faces of the beatniks and hippies as they react to Pete's words.
  • Add a moment of silence or tension after the judge's gavel bangs to emphasize the weight of the sentence. This could heighten the emotional impact of the scene and allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Consider incorporating a brief flashback or memory from Pete that illustrates his connection to Woody Guthrie, which could deepen the emotional resonance of his plea to sing a song.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a line or two from Toshi that reflects her concern or support for Pete, which could add depth to their relationship and provide a counterpoint to the courtroom drama.



Scene 3 -  Searching for Guthrie
5 EXT. BLEEKER AND MACDOUGAL -- SAME WET AFTERNOON 5

Carrying his guitar, Bob steps over a tattered man on the
sidewalk, then sidesteps a gaggle of bohemes laughing. Music
rises as he rounds the corner to MacDougal Street.

A circus-like atmosphere. The sidewalks buzz with folk fans,
students, beatniks, bikers, academics; prepsters and shaggy
Ginsburg-types. An Indian man on a blanket plays tambourine..

Banners hang from storefronts, coffee shops and clubs with
names like “Cafe Wa?”, “The Gaslight”, “Kettle of Fish” “Cafe
Reggio”, folk music leaking out the establishments.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 4.


Bob checks his wallet. Three dollars.
CUT TO:
6 EXT. 110 MACDOUGAL STREET -- SAME 6

On a storefront window, hand painted words --

“BOOKS on FOLK-LORE, FOLK DANCE, FOLK MUSIC!

WE SEE -- BOB in reflection staring at books on the history
of Folk, Blues, Celtic music, crafts and dance. Records by
Leadbelly, Elizabeth Cotton, Woody Guthrie, Irish Balladeers,
Robeson and Pete Seeger are displayed. Photos of these
artists adorn walls beside folk instruments.

Bob glances at the sign above his head -- “FOLK-LORE CENTER”.
Bob tries the door but it’s locked. A sign says --

AT COURTHOUSE. BE THERE OR BE ! - IZZ.
CUT TO:
7 INT. THE KETTLE OF FISH BAR -- SAME 7

The place is empty except for A TABLE OF MUSICIANS holding
court. The bartender approaches Bob, who stands at the bar,
taking a fistful pretzels from a bowl.

BOB
Some water, please.

The bartender grimaces and gives him water. A bearded
musician (DAVE VAN RONK, 25) arrives at the bar to settle up
as Bob holds out a scrap of paper to the bartender.

BOB (CONT’D)
..Uh. You know where this is?
Greystone. It’s a hospital. Woody
Guthrie’s in this place. Is it uptown?

The bartender looks to Van Ronk who peers at Bob’s scrap.

DAVE VAN RONK
That’s a mental hospital, pal. In
Morris Plains.
(off Bob’s blank look)
Woody’s across the river, in New
Jersey.

BOB
I just came from New Jersey.

BARTENDER
So go back.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 5.

8 EXT. FEDERAL COURTHOUSE -- LATE WET AFTERNOON 8

People hold umbrellas over Pete Seeger as he stands on the
courthouse steps, his Vega banjo around his neck, surrounded
by fans, press and his legal team. A small contingent of
Birchers protest on the corner.

Pete speaks into a mic, strumming his Vega now.

PETE
I offered to sing this for the Judge
today. He didn’t want to hear it.
(boos)
But I’m gonna sing it for you.
(cheers)
Maybe you can sing too.
(sings)
As I went walking that ribbon of highway,
I saw above me the endless skyway. I saw
below me the golden valley. This land was
made for you and me.

The crowd cheers. Seeger leans in.

PETE SINGS
I roamed and rambled and followed my
footsteps. To the sparkling sands of her
diamond deserts. And all around me a
voice was sounding. This land was made
for you and me.

The crowd joins Pete for the chorus. Even the Birchers get
quiet. The sound of all these voices together is moving.

PETE SINGS W/ CROWD
This land is your land. This land is my
land. From California to the New York--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary On a rainy afternoon in Greenwich Village, Bob navigates a lively crowd while carrying his guitar, only to find himself with just three dollars. He admires a locked storefront filled with folk music memorabilia before entering the Kettle of Fish bar, where he asks the bartender for water and inquires about Woody Guthrie's whereabouts. Dave Van Ronk informs him that Guthrie is in a mental hospital in New Jersey. The scene shifts to a courthouse where Pete Seeger performs, uniting a crowd of supporters with his music, culminating in a powerful rendition of 'This Land Is Your Land.'
Strengths
  • Powerful protest song performance
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Effective exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the emotional intensity of Pete Seeger's trial and his defiant performance. It sets up the conflict between artistic freedom and government censorship, while also highlighting the power of music to unite people.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using music as a tool for social change is powerful and resonant. The scene effectively explores the themes of artistic freedom, activism, and the power of protest.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Pete Seeger's trial and his defiant performance, which drives the narrative forward and sets up future conflicts. It effectively sets the stage for the story to come.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the folk music scene of the 1960s, blending historical references with fictional elements to create an authentic and engaging narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Pete Seeger, are well-developed and their motivations are clear. The scene effectively conveys the inner strength and resilience of the characters.

Character Changes: 8

Pete Seeger undergoes a significant change in the scene, from defiance in the face of authority to a moment of unity and connection with the crowd through his music.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find inspiration and connection through folk music and culture. This reflects his deeper need for purpose and identity in a rapidly changing world.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to locate Woody Guthrie in a mental hospital. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in navigating the city and finding his musical idol.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Pete Seeger and the judge, as well as the broader conflict between artistic freedom and government censorship, creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge the protagonist's goals and create tension, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Pete Seeger faces imprisonment for his refusal to compromise his principles. The outcome of the trial has significant implications for the characters and the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up key conflicts and establishing the central themes of the narrative. It lays the groundwork for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions and revelations that challenge the protagonist's goals and beliefs.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the contrast between urban chaos and artistic expression. Bob's quest for meaning and connection clashes with the harsh realities of the city and societal expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, particularly during Pete Seeger's protest song performance. The defiance and resilience of the characters evoke strong emotions in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and serves to advance the plot and develop the characters. The protest song lyrics are particularly poignant and memorable.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic setting, relatable characters, and compelling dialogue that drives the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene enhances its effectiveness by balancing moments of introspection with action and dialogue, maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, moving seamlessly between different locations and characters to advance the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of Greenwich Village in the 1960s, immersing the audience in the eclectic mix of characters and sounds. However, the transition from the previous courtroom scene to this lively street scene could be smoother. Consider adding a brief moment that connects Bob's emotional state from the courtroom to his experience on the street, enhancing the narrative flow.
  • Bob's character is introduced well through his actions and interactions, but his internal thoughts and feelings could be more explicitly conveyed. Adding a voiceover or internal monologue could deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations and aspirations as he navigates this bustling environment.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks a distinct voice for Bob. His interactions with the bartender and Dave Van Ronk feel somewhat generic. Infusing Bob's dialogue with more personality or unique phrasing could help establish his character more firmly and make him more relatable to the audience.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the transition between the vibrant street life and the more subdued atmosphere of the Kettle of Fish could be more pronounced. Consider using visual or auditory cues to signal this shift, such as contrasting the lively sounds of the street with the quieter, more intimate setting of the bar.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the storefronts and the reflection in the window, is strong and adds depth to the scene. However, the description of the storefront window could be more concise. Streamlining this section would maintain the scene's momentum while still conveying the richness of the environment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Bob as he walks through the street, reflecting on his journey and aspirations. This could provide insight into his character and enhance emotional engagement.
  • Revise Bob's dialogue to include more unique phrasing or personal anecdotes that reflect his character and background, making him stand out more in his interactions.
  • Enhance the transition between the lively street and the Kettle of Fish by incorporating auditory cues, such as the fading sounds of the street as Bob enters the bar, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Streamline the description of the storefront window to maintain pacing while still capturing the essence of the folk music culture Bob is immersed in.
  • Consider adding a moment where Bob observes the people around him, perhaps reflecting on their stories or how they relate to his own journey, to deepen the thematic resonance of the scene.



Scene 4 -  A Night of Inspiration at Greystone
9 EXT. GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- NEW JERSEY -- WET NIGHT 9

A gothic institution. Smoke churns from a boiler stack. A cab
driver pulls to a stop and jerks the meter. Bob gets out and
shows his wallet to the driver. Two ones..

DRIVER
Shit. I knew it.

The driver snatches the bills and speeds off.
A distant banjo as we--
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 6.

10A INT. HALLWAY -- GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- SAME 10A

Bob gets to the top of the stairs and finds himself looking
down a long hall, light coming from a room at the end of the
corridor.

PETE SINGS
..A thousand friends waiting to kiss
my sweet bride.

Bob approaches the lit room. He arrives at the door through
which he sees --

A MOTIONLESS MAN in a bed is connected to a ventilator.

On the other side of the room -- PETE SEEGER, in the same
clothes from the courthouse, sits playing banjo (softly) and
singing (likewise) for another sickly man in a bed.

This man is WOODY GUTHRIE (52, looks worse). Not the vibrant
troubadour we saw in archival footage. Gaunt and weak, Woody
listens attentively as Pete sings.

AN OLD GIBSON IS PROPPED beside the bed. “This Machine Kills
Fascists” it says above the sound hole.

PETE SINGS (CONT’D)
I was so anxious I rushed her outside.
I told her.. So long, it's been good
to know ya.

Bob glances at his own reflection in a glass door.
CUT TO:
10 INT. WOODY’S ROOM -- GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- CONTINUOUS 10

CLOSE ON -- PETE, singing, tired, but he loves this man as
one loves their father. Woody’s eyes smile, alive.

PETE SINGS
--So long, it's been good to know ya..
I've got to be driftin' along.

Pete strums a final chord. A quiet moment between them.

PETE
‘Wish you were at the court today,
Wood. Weather turned. But our friends
showed up, made themselves heard.

Woody’s eyes flick to the doorway behind Pete.

Pete turns to see -- Bob, standing there.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 7.


PETE (CONT’D)
..Hello.

Bob steps into the room.

BOB
Excuse me, Mr. Guthrie.

PETE
No one calls him Mr. Guthrie ‘cept
the government.

BOB
I’m not the government.

PETE
Then take a seat.

Pete occupies the room’s only chair. He pats the foot of the
bed. Bob obeys and sits at Woody’s feet.

PETE (CONT’D)
I’m Pete, by the way.

BOB
Yes sir, no question about it.

PETE
How about you?

BOB
I’m Bobby.

PETE
Something go after that?

Like it’s the first time he said it.

BOB
..Dylan.

Woody grunts and points at the guitar case in Bob’s hands.

PETE
Woody wants to know more about that,
Bobby Dylan.

BOB
I sing and I play. Write some.
Couple of friends of mine, Paul and
Jon, out in Minneapolis..

PETE
Minnesota boy.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 8.


BOB
They had a few of Woody’s records.
Folkways Records. Yours, Leadbelly. I
listened to ‘em and well, they struck
me to the ground.
(to Pete)
I liked yours too, Pete--

PETE
That’s fine.

BOB
Then, Paul, my friend, he heard you
was in the hospital, so I hitched
myself here.

PETE
Why is that?

BOB
..I wanted to meet him.
(smiles)
Maybe catch a spark.

Bob feels Woody’s hand nudging, holding a small card. Bob
takes it. Written on one side is Woody’s name.

PETE
We had ‘em made for visitors, but
it’s mostly family who comes.

Bob flips the card. The back reads -- “I AIN’T DEAD YET.”

BOB
That’s for damn sure.

Woody makes a small sound. His eyes move to Bob’s guitar.

PETE
He wants to hear something.

Bob hesitates.

PETE (CONT’D)
You shy?

BOB
Not usually.

Bob unpacks his guitar, checks the tuning. He pulls out his
notebook, thumbing for lyrics.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 9.


BOB (CONT’D)
There’s one.. I wrote for him.
(to Woody)
For you.

PETE
I’ll bet you know it.

Bob pockets the notebook and plays an intro. He has their
attention already. He’s good. Then he starts to sing :

BOB SINGS
I'm out here a thousand miles from my
home. Walkin' a road other men have
gone down. I'm seein' your world of
people and things. Your paupers and
peasants and princes and kings.

As Bob continues, Pete is impressed with his intensity, his
lyrics. He looks to Woody, who blinks, thinking the same.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Hey hey, Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a
song. 'Bout a funny ol' world that's a-
comin' along. Seems sick and it's
hungry, tired and it's torn. Looks
like it's dyin' and hardly been born.

Woody’s face muscles manage.. no mistaking it.. a smile.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Here's to Cisco, Sonny and Leadbelly
too. To all the good people that
traveled with you. Here's to the hearts
and hands of the men. That come with
the dust ..and are gone with the wind.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biopic","Musical"]

Summary On a rainy night at Greystone Hospital, Bob Dylan meets Pete Seeger, who is singing to the bedridden Woody Guthrie. Bob expresses his admiration for Woody's music and shares his desire for inspiration. Woody, despite his condition, communicates his enduring spirit with a card that reads 'I AIN'T DEAD YET.' Encouraged by Pete, Bob gains the confidence to perform a song he wrote for Woody, impressing both men and creating a poignant connection through music.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character interactions
  • Musical elements
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is beautifully crafted, with a poignant and emotional connection between the characters, rich dialogue, and a deep exploration of the themes of music, friendship, and legacy.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of paying homage to Woody Guthrie through music and personal connection is well-executed, adding depth to the narrative and exploring the impact of music on individuals.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly through the introduction of Bob Dylan, his interaction with Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie, and the exploration of themes related to music, friendship, and artistic inspiration.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the portrayal of legendary musicians in a vulnerable state, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters are well-developed, with Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, and Woody Guthrie portrayed with depth, emotion, and authenticity, allowing for meaningful interactions and connections.

Character Changes: 8

Bob Dylan experiences a significant moment of connection and inspiration meeting Woody Guthrie, which could lead to further character development and growth in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with Woody Guthrie and possibly gain inspiration from him. This reflects Bob's desire for artistic growth and connection to his musical roots.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to perform a song for Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger. This reflects the immediate challenge of impressing these legendary musicians and connecting with them on a personal level.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

While there is a subtle conflict in Pete Seeger's legal troubles, the scene focuses more on emotional and personal connections rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Bob faces the challenge of impressing legendary musicians and connecting with Woody Guthrie in a vulnerable state.

High Stakes: 4

While there are personal and emotional stakes involved in the scene, the overall stakes are not extremely high in terms of external conflicts or life-threatening situations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key characters, establishing relationships, and setting the stage for future developments in the plot, particularly in relation to music and artistic inspiration.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the emotional complexity of the characters and the uncertain outcome of Bob's performance for Woody Guthrie.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the contrast between the vibrant, legendary image of Woody Guthrie in archival footage and his current sickly state. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about artistic legacy and mortality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, admiration, and respect for the characters and their musical legacy, creating a deeply moving and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is poignant, reflective, and emotionally resonant, capturing the essence of the characters and their relationships, as well as the power of music to connect people.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character dynamics, and the anticipation of Bob's performance for Woody Guthrie.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, allowing for moments of quiet reflection and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptive action lines that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-structured format that effectively builds tension and emotional depth through character interactions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a somber and reflective tone, aligning well with the emotional weight of Bob Dylan meeting Woody Guthrie. The use of music, particularly Pete Seeger's singing, enhances the atmosphere and connects the characters through their shared love for folk music.
  • The dialogue is authentic and captures the personalities of the characters, particularly Pete's warmth and Woody's understated presence. Bob's nervousness is palpable, which adds depth to his character as he seeks validation from his idol.
  • The visual descriptions are strong, particularly the contrast between the gothic hospital setting and the warmth of the interactions inside Woody's room. This juxtaposition emphasizes the themes of life, death, and the enduring power of music.
  • However, the pacing could be improved. The scene feels slightly drawn out in parts, particularly during the dialogue exchanges. Tightening some of the dialogue could maintain the emotional intensity without losing the reflective quality.
  • The introduction of Woody's card, 'I AIN'T DEAD YET,' is a powerful moment that could be further emphasized. It serves as a thematic anchor for the scene, representing resilience and the enduring spirit of folk music. Consider expanding on this moment to deepen its impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to enhance the pacing. Focus on the most impactful lines and eliminate any redundancy to keep the emotional momentum flowing.
  • Expand on the moment when Bob reads Woody's card. Perhaps include a brief reflection from Bob about what Woody's resilience means to him, adding another layer to their connection.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the atmosphere. Describe the sounds, smells, and sights of the hospital to immerse the audience further into the setting.
  • Explore Bob's internal thoughts more explicitly during the scene. This could provide insight into his feelings of admiration and nervousness, making his performance more poignant.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a shared look between Bob and Woody after the song, allowing the weight of the moment to resonate before moving on. This could enhance the emotional payoff of Bob's performance.



Scene 5 -  Melodies in the Rain
11 INT. / EXT. PETE SEEGER’S STATION WAGON -- SAME WET NIGHT 11

Driving slow through the night, Pete and Bob are quiet. Pete
sips coffee from a thermos, offers Bob a sip. Bob waves him
off, then realizes he’s sitting on a legal file.

PETE
..Just throw them in back.
I had a court date today.

BOB
Speeding ticket?

PETE
Sort of.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 10.


Bob snaps on the radio. WE HEAR snatches of news (special
Forces sent to South Vietnam), commercials, pop, jazz..

BOB
..You mind?

Pete shakes his head. Bob finds “Slippin’ and Slidin’” by
Little Richard and settles back. Off Pete’s look.

BOB (CONT’D)
Little Richard. That’s the flip side
on “Long Tall Sally.”

PETE
You like rock and roll?

BOB
I like everything except maybe Patti
Page and that doggie in the window. Or
Vaughn Monroe. I don’t like him. But
then Monroe did “Ghost Riders in the
Sky” and I like that. I like Johnny
Cash. ‘Ever hear him? But if you’re
talking about rock and roll, you have
to be talking about Buddy Holly.

PETE
That so?

BOB
Saw him once. With his band. Not long
before he died. I watched his hands
and his face, the way he tapped his
foot, his glasses, the way he held his
guitar. He looked me in the eye.

Pete takes this in.

PETE
And you consider yourself a folk
musician now?

BOB
I’m not sure what “Folk” is, Pete.
Like, is that with a capital F?

PETE
Well, if you like Woody’s music.
That’s Folk Music. With a capital F.

BOB
Woody’s seen a thing or two. Puts it
down clear. Not fancy. I like that.
Y’gotta like that. Wakes you up.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 11.


PETE
Some people like being asleep. Folk
music tells stories about real people,
working people, all over the world.
Their struggles, heartbreaks. It isn’t
dressed up, sugared-up and packaged-up
like Rice Krispies.

BOB
No snap crackle or pop.

PETE
A good song doesn’t need frills to do
the job-- drums, electrified guitars.

BOB
Sometimes they sound good..

PETE
Well they make an empty song sound
full, that’s for sure.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary On a wet night, Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan share a quiet drive in Pete's station wagon, sipping coffee and discussing their musical preferences. Bob humorously discovers he's sitting on a legal file, prompting a conversation about Pete's upcoming court date. As they navigate their differing views on folk music and rock and roll, Bob expresses his admiration for Buddy Holly while Pete defends the storytelling essence of folk. Their reflective dialogue highlights the camaraderie between the two musicians, leaving their musical debate unresolved but deepening their bond.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character development
  • Thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into the characters' musical preferences and beliefs, providing insight into their personalities and setting up potential conflicts. The dialogue is engaging and informative, adding depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of contrasting folk music with rock and roll through the characters of Pete and Bob is intriguing and adds depth to the narrative. It sets the stage for potential conflicts and character growth.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the characters' conversation about music, providing insight into their personalities and beliefs. It sets the stage for potential conflicts and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to exploring characters' identities through music preferences and philosophical discussions. The authenticity of the dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Pete and Bob are well-developed through their discussion about music, showcasing their contrasting views and personalities. Their interaction adds depth to the scene and sets up potential conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, the interaction between Pete and Bob hints at potential growth and development for both characters in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to explore his identity and musical preferences, reflecting his deeper desires for self-discovery and connection.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal is not clearly defined in this scene, as the focus is more on the conversation about music and identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is an underlying tension in the characters' differing views on music, the scene lacks a significant conflict. However, it sets the stage for potential conflicts to arise in future scenes.

Opposition: 5

The opposition in the scene is subtle, with conflicting opinions on music genres, but not a major obstacle for the characters to overcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character development and thematic exploration. However, it sets the stage for potential conflicts that could raise the stakes in future scenes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing insight into the characters' personalities and beliefs, setting the stage for potential conflicts and character development in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 6

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and revelations, but the philosophical conflicts add an element of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the definition and value of folk music versus mainstream music. Pete and Bob have differing opinions on what constitutes 'real' music and the importance of authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of reflection and introspection through the characters' discussion about music. While not highly emotional, it sets the stage for potential emotional moments in the future.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue between Pete and Bob is engaging, informative, and reveals key aspects of their characters. It sets the tone for future interactions and conflicts, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and character interactions that reveal deeper layers of the protagonists.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics through the natural flow of conversation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a dialogue-heavy scene, with clear character cues and transitions.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a natural flow of conversation and character development, fitting the expected structure for a character-driven dialogue scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrasting musical philosophies of Bob and Pete, showcasing their generational differences and personal tastes. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen their characters. For instance, while Bob expresses admiration for Buddy Holly, it would be interesting to see how this admiration reflects his own aspirations or insecurities as an artist.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit slow, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. While the contemplative tone is appropriate given the context, tightening some of the dialogue could enhance the flow and keep the audience engaged. For example, consider trimming repetitive phrases or streamlining Bob's thoughts on music to maintain momentum.
  • The use of music references is a strong element, but it might be more impactful if Bob's choices were tied to specific memories or emotions. This would not only enrich his character but also create a more vivid connection between the audience and his experiences.
  • The scene's setting in the station wagon is a great choice, as it creates an intimate atmosphere for their conversation. However, the visual descriptions could be enhanced to reflect the mood of the night more vividly. Adding sensory details about the rain, the sounds of the city, or the warmth of the coffee could immerse the audience further into the scene.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Pete is informative but could be more dynamic. Consider incorporating pauses, interruptions, or overlapping dialogue to reflect the natural flow of conversation. This would make their interaction feel more authentic and relatable.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a moment of silence or reflection after Bob mentions Buddy Holly, allowing the weight of that memory to resonate before moving on. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Consider adding a visual element that reflects Bob's internal conflict about his identity as a musician. For example, a fleeting glance at a passing street musician or a poster of a famous rock band could serve as a visual metaphor for his struggle between folk and rock.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or gestures from the characters to break up the dialogue. For instance, Bob could fidget with his guitar or Pete could adjust the radio, which would add layers to their conversation and make it feel more dynamic.
  • Explore the idea of generational conflict further by having Bob challenge Pete's views on folk music more directly. This could lead to a more heated exchange that reveals their differing perspectives and adds tension to the scene.
  • End the scene with a more definitive moment that encapsulates their discussion, perhaps with Bob making a bold statement about his musical future or Pete offering a piece of advice that resonates with Bob, setting up the next scene.



Scene 6 -  A Warm Welcome
12 INT. / EXT. WASHINGTON HEIGHTS -- SAME 12

Pete’s station wagon pulls to the curb. The city to one side
and the outline of the George Washington Bridge on the other.
Bob starts to climb out, his feet landing in slush.

PETE
Where you staying, Bobby?

BOB
..downtown.

PETE
My wife and I got a place up river.

BOB
I don’t want to be any trouble.

PETE
Is anyone expecting you downtown?

BOB
Well, friends. ..of friends.
CUT TO:
13 EXT. SEEGER CABIN -- HUDSON VALLEY -- SAME WET NIGHT 13

Pete pulls into the driveway of a log cabin home. As Bob and
he climb out, the door opens to reveal TOSHI.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 12.


PETE
Tosh. This is Bobby. He came to see
Woody and didn’t have a place to stay.

TOSHI
Hello, Bobby.

Bob nods a cheeful hello, marveling at the house.

BOB
This looks like the picture on the
maple syrup bottle.

PETE
Well, we make syrup from the maples
over there.
(as they head inside)
We built this place. Stick by stick.
Added plumbing a few years ago.
Genres: ["Drama","Biopic"]

Summary In a wet night scene in Washington Heights, Pete offers Bob a ride and a place to stay at his log cabin in the Hudson Valley, despite Bob's reluctance to impose. Upon arriving at the cabin, they are greeted by Toshi, who warmly welcomes Bob. Bob admires the rustic charm of the cabin, likening it to a picture on a maple syrup bottle, while Pete shares details about their syrup-making and the cabin's construction. The scene highlights the contrast between the urban setting and the inviting atmosphere of the cabin, setting the stage for further interactions.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Authentic setting
Weaknesses
  • Lack of overt conflict
  • Limited exploration of commercial pressures

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces key characters, establishes a sense of camaraderie, and provides insight into the folk music world of the 1960s. The dialogue is engaging, and the emotional impact is palpable.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of bringing together two influential musicians in a personal setting is compelling. It explores themes of mentorship, artistic inspiration, and the evolution of folk music.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Bob Dylan seeks guidance and inspiration from Pete Seeger, setting the stage for his own musical journey. The conflict between artistic integrity and commercial success is subtly introduced.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of hospitality and community, with authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of depth and set the stage for future growth.

Character Changes: 7

Bob Dylan experiences a shift in perspective and gains inspiration from Pete Seeger, setting him on a new path in his musical career.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find a sense of belonging and connection, as reflected in his hesitation to be a burden and his appreciation for the welcoming environment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to find a place to stay, which reflects his immediate need for shelter and safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a subtle conflict between artistic ideals and commercial pressures, the scene focuses more on camaraderie and mutual respect between Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan.

Opposition: 6

The opposition is subtle but present in the uncertainty surrounding Bob's arrival and his potential impact on the characters' lives.

High Stakes: 6

While there are personal stakes involved for Bob Dylan in seeking guidance from Pete Seeger, the scene focuses more on artistic growth and mentorship.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key relationships and motivations for the characters. It sets the stage for Bob Dylan's artistic evolution.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unknown intentions of Bob and the potential conflicts that may arise from his presence.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of community and self-reliance, as seen in Pete and Toshi's willingness to help Bob despite not knowing him well.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and admiration for the folk music era. The interactions between the characters are heartfelt and resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is rich with subtext, reflecting the characters' beliefs, aspirations, and conflicts. It showcases their unique voices and perspectives on music and life.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the relatable characters, the sense of mystery around Bob's background, and the warm atmosphere created by the setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of reflection and tension to build.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay format, making it easy to read and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear setup and development of relationships.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of place and character dynamics, particularly through the contrast between Bob's reluctance to impose and Pete's warm hospitality. However, the dialogue feels somewhat stilted and could benefit from more naturalistic exchanges that reflect the characters' personalities and backgrounds.
  • Bob's admiration for the cabin being 'like the picture on the maple syrup bottle' is a charming line, but it could be enhanced by adding more sensory details or emotional resonance. This would help to deepen Bob's character and his sense of wonder at being in the presence of folk music legends.
  • The transition from the city to the cabin is visually interesting, but the scene could use more descriptive elements to paint a vivid picture of the setting. For instance, incorporating sounds, smells, or the atmosphere of the wet night could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The dialogue exchange about Bob's accommodations feels a bit forced. The question of whether anyone is expecting him downtown could be expanded to include more context about his relationships or intentions, which would add depth to his character and motivations.
  • The scene ends abruptly after the introduction of Toshi, leaving the audience wanting more. It would be beneficial to include a brief moment of interaction or a hint of the dynamics between Bob and Toshi, setting the stage for future developments.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue, allowing characters to convey their feelings and intentions without stating them outright. This can create a richer interaction and engage the audience more deeply.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to create a more vivid atmosphere. Describe the sounds of the city, the feel of the slush underfoot, or the warmth of the cabin as they enter.
  • Expand on Bob's reaction to the cabin and his surroundings. Perhaps include a brief internal monologue that reflects his thoughts on being in such a significant place, which would help to establish his character further.
  • Introduce a moment of tension or conflict in the dialogue to create more dramatic stakes. For example, Bob could express a deeper concern about imposing on Pete and Toshi, which would add complexity to his character.
  • Consider extending the scene to include a brief interaction between Bob and Toshi, which could foreshadow future developments in their relationship and provide insight into Toshi's character.



Scene 7 -  A Night of Music and Hope
14 INT. PETE SEEGER’S HOUSE -- SAME NIGHT 14

Bob stands as Pete brings Bob a glass of water and Toshi
carries bedding to a couch as -- Bob sips the water and sees
a little girl (TINYA, 5) watching him from her loft. In
another bedroom is MIKA, 8), also watching. In another small
room, DANNY, (12) eyes Bob as he passes.

PETE
Bedtime, Danny. Everyone to bed.

Pete gestures to the couch by a window.

PETE (CONT’D)
You gonna be good here, Bobby?

BOB
A-okay.

Bob nods and flops on the sofa, taking in artifacts of folk
history all around him. He reaches for a cigarette.

TOSHI
Can you go out if you smoke?

BOB
Yes ma’am.

Toshi moves off, making sure the children are in bed.

PETE
See you in the morning, Bobby.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 13.

15 INT. SEEGER HOUSE -- PETE & TOSHI’S BEDROOM -- LATER 15

Toshi, sits in bed, watching --

Bob, out the window, shuffling on the plank porch, smoking.
Toshi turns to Pete as he sits on the bed.

PETE
I had to see Woody, Tosh. He was
worried. I wanted to share the good
news.

TOSHI
A year in prison is not good news.

PETE
Frank says it’s going away. You heard
him.

TOSHI
So now you want to go on tour.

Pete smiles.

PETE
Well, we can tell Town Hall we can do
the show they were pitching next
month.

Toshi takes this in, looks out to Bob on the porch as he
crosses, re-entering the house. A clatter as Bob knocks
something.

PETE (CONT’D)
He’ll go to sleep soon. He’s a little
excited. He met his hero tonight.
(then)
Not me. Woody.
(then -- opt.)
The boy played a hell of a song..
CUT TO:
16 INT. SEEGER HOUSE -- LIVING ROOM -- MORNING 16

Through windows, morning light over the Hudson River.
Bob sits, plucking guitar chords, jotting in his book.

In the kitchen, Toshi cooks and Pete’s children, in pajamas,
eat breakfast and watch the rumpled stranger :

BOB SINGS
..If you're travelin' in the north
country fair. Where the winds hit
heavy on the borderline.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 14.
BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine..

Emerging from the bathroom, Pete crosses to the kitchen.

BOB SINGS (CONTINUING) (CONT’D)
If you go when the snowflakes storm.
When the rivers freeze and summer ends.

Bob meets eyes with Pete who looks to Toshi.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Please see if she's wearing a coat so
warm. To keep her from the howlin' winds.
(stops, looks up at them)
All I got. So far.

Tinya Seeger, (5), fills the silence.

TINYA
Good start.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary In Pete Seeger's home, Bob Dylan arrives and is warmly welcomed by Pete and Toshi. As Bob settles in, he notices Pete's children watching him, and Toshi reminds him to smoke outside. The couple discusses Woody Guthrie's situation and potential tour plans while Bob enjoys a moment on the porch. The next morning, Bob plays guitar and sings in the living room, receiving a compliment from Tinya, one of the children, which highlights the positive impact of his music. The scene captures a warm, intimate atmosphere filled with nostalgia and hope for the future.
Strengths
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Emotive musical moments
  • Exploration of musical influence and admiration
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the essence of folk music and the connection between generations of musicians. It sets up a meaningful interaction between Bob and Pete, showcasing their shared passion for music and the impact of meeting a musical hero.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of bringing together Bob, Pete Seeger, and Woody Guthrie in a musical setting is compelling. It explores themes of musical influence, admiration, and the passing down of traditions in a meaningful way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the introduction of Bob to Pete Seeger and the musical exchange that follows. It sets up potential character development and explores the impact of meeting a musical hero.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of artistic inspiration and family bonds, with authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Bob's admiration for Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger's dedication to his music shining through. The introduction of Pete's family adds depth to his character.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, Bob's introduction to Pete Seeger and the musical exchange could set the stage for potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with his musical roots and find inspiration. This reflects his deeper desire for artistic fulfillment and validation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to relax and find a sense of belonging in this new environment. This reflects the immediate challenge of adjusting to a new setting and meeting new people.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on the emotional and musical connections between the characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and intrigue, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journeys.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on personal connections, musical passion, and admiration for folk music.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key relationships, introducing important themes, and setting up potential conflicts or resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the subtle tensions and unresolved conflicts between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between pursuing artistic passion and facing practical challenges. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of art in his life.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, especially in the musical exchange between Bob and Pete, the admiration for Woody Guthrie, and the sense of connection and shared passion for music.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reveals the characters' personalities and motivations. The musical exchange adds another layer of communication between Bob and Pete.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, relatable characters, and the sense of anticipation for what will happen next.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the characters' interactions and emotions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a warm and inviting atmosphere in Pete Seeger's home, showcasing the familial environment and Bob's integration into it. The interactions between characters feel genuine, particularly the way Toshi and Pete care for their children while also welcoming Bob.
  • The dialogue is natural and flows well, capturing the essence of the characters. Bob's casual responses and Toshi's maternal instincts create a relatable dynamic. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes, particularly in Toshi's concerns about Pete's plans for touring.
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the nighttime setting to the morning, effectively using the change in time to highlight Bob's evolving relationship with the Seeger family. However, the transition could be enhanced with a more explicit visual or auditory cue that signifies the passage of time, such as the sound of birds or the sun rising.
  • Bob's character is portrayed as both excited and slightly out of place, which is effective in showing his admiration for Woody Guthrie and the folk music legacy. However, the scene could delve deeper into Bob's internal thoughts or feelings about being in this new environment, perhaps through a brief moment of reflection or hesitation before he begins to play.
  • The introduction of Tinya's compliment at the end of the scene is a nice touch, but it feels somewhat abrupt. It could be more impactful if it were built up through earlier interactions or observations, allowing the audience to feel the weight of her words more significantly.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Bob reflects on his feelings about being in Pete's home, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that shows his sense of belonging or discomfort.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by incorporating more subtext in the dialogue between Pete and Toshi regarding the tour. This could involve Toshi expressing her concerns more explicitly or Pete reassuring her in a way that reveals his own vulnerabilities.
  • Use a more distinct auditory or visual cue to signify the transition from night to morning, such as the sound of a rooster crowing or the soft glow of dawn breaking through the windows.
  • Explore Bob's character further by including a moment where he interacts with the children, showcasing his ability to connect with them and highlighting his youthful spirit amidst the adult conversations.
  • Consider expanding Tinya's role slightly by having her engage with Bob more directly, perhaps asking him questions about his music or expressing her own thoughts, which would deepen the connection between them.



Scene 8 -  A Night of Joyful Harmony
17 INT. TOWN HALL CONCERT HALL -- A MONTH LATER 17

BOB stands in the wings of the big stage, watching as --

PETE SEEGER stands in the spotlight, alone plucking his
banjo, preaching to a packed house of upscale patrons :

PETE
We got some good basses here tonight,
so.. here’s a song I’ve sung many
times before. But it needs low
voices.. and it don’t matter if
they’re male or female!
(laughter from crowd)
Low voices, this is what you sing; HEY-
UP-OHH--A-WIM-O-WEH, A WIM-O-WEH.
(crowd joins in)
Again! Imagine you’re in Africa!
(he sings with them,
making them stronger)
HEY-UP-OH--A-WIM-O-WEH, A WIM-O-WEH...

Bob looks out into the crowd, sees the smiles, young and old,
the pure joy of sing-a-long. TOSHI stands in an aisle, taking
photos of her husband and the happy faces --

PETE (CONT’D)
..And anyone who can’t get that low,
we’ll make you sopranos!
(Pete sings higher)
A-wimoweh-a-wimoweh..
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 15.


The ladies and children in the crowd sing with Pete now.

PETE (CONT’D)
And now add back the low parts!

NOW, EVERYONE SINGS TWO PART HARMONY. It sounds glorious.

PETE IN THE SPOTLIGHT, the happiest we ever see him. He
breaks into falsetto, yodeling. His eyes flick to Bob as the
lights go black. THE CROWD ROARS.

PETE APPEARS BACKSTAGE, BESIDE BOB, wiping sweat, quaffing
water and passing his banjo to a stagehand. He looks at Bob.

PETE (CONT’D)
Gotta get you out there..

Pete grabs a guitar from a stagehand and heads back out.
CHEERS!
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Musical","Drama"]

Summary Backstage at a concert hall, Bob watches as Pete Seeger captivates an enthusiastic audience with a lively sing-along, showcasing his musical talent and charisma. The crowd, filled with people of all ages, joins in the joyful atmosphere, singing and celebrating together. After the performance, a sweaty and exhilarated Pete encourages Bob to join him on stage, grabbing a guitar and heading back to the audience, as Toshi captures the moment with her camera.
Strengths
  • Authentic musical performance
  • Effective character interactions
  • Exploration of mentorship and artistic inspiration
Weaknesses
  • Low level of conflict
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the joy and unity that music can bring, while also delving into the mentorship relationship between Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan. The humorous moments add depth to the characters and keep the scene engaging.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using music as a unifying force and exploring the mentorship relationship between Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan is well-developed. The scene effectively conveys the themes of artistic inspiration and connection.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the musical performance led by Pete Seeger, the mentorship dynamic with Bob Dylan, and the thematic exploration of artistic inspiration. It moves the story forward while also developing character relationships.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to showcasing the transformative power of music and communal singing, with authentic dialogue and actions that resonate with the audience.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan, are well-developed in this scene. Their interactions and dialogue showcase their personalities and the mentorship dynamic between them.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, we see Bob Dylan's admiration for Pete Seeger and his music grow, setting the stage for potential growth in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to experience the joy and connection that comes from communal singing and music. This reflects his deeper need for human connection and emotional fulfillment.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to support Pete Seeger in his performance and ensure the event runs smoothly. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the concert hall setting and the challenges of managing a live performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on the joy of music and the mentorship relationship between Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is not strong, as the focus is on the positive and uplifting moments of communal singing and connection.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on the personal and artistic connections between the characters rather than high-stakes conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by developing the mentorship relationship between Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan, as well as showcasing the power of music to unite people and inspire artistic growth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected moments of audience participation and emotional connection, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of breaking down barriers through music and communal singing. Pete Seeger's message of inclusivity and unity challenges any preconceived notions or divisions in the audience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of joy, unity, and admiration. The communal sing-along and mentorship dynamic add depth to the emotional resonance of the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' personalities, humor, and the themes of music and mentorship. It adds depth to the interactions and keeps the scene engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it captures the audience's attention with dynamic dialogue, vivid descriptions, and a sense of communal celebration.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and excitement, leading to a climactic moment of audience participation and emotional release.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene effectively conveys the energy and movement of the performance, enhancing the reader's visualization of the events.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a concert hall setting, effectively building tension and excitement as the performance unfolds.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the joy and communal spirit of folk music through Pete Seeger's engaging performance. The use of audience participation creates an uplifting atmosphere, which is essential for showcasing the impact of music on people of all ages.
  • The dialogue is light-hearted and encourages interaction, which is fitting for a live performance setting. Pete's humor, such as the line about making sopranos, adds a layer of charm and relatability to his character.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the contrast between the spotlight on Pete and the audience's reactions. This helps to emphasize the connection between the performer and the crowd, enhancing the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • However, the scene could benefit from deeper character exploration. While we see Pete's joy and the audience's engagement, Bob's internal experience is less clear. Adding a moment of reflection or a specific thought from Bob could enhance his character development and provide a more personal connection to the performance.
  • The transition from Pete's performance to Bob's impending stage debut feels abrupt. A more gradual build-up to Bob's moment could heighten the anticipation and emotional stakes, allowing the audience to feel Bob's nerves or excitement.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue or visual cue that reflects Bob's feelings as he watches Pete perform. This could help the audience connect more with Bob's character and his journey.
  • Introduce a moment where Bob interacts with the audience or acknowledges their energy, even if it's just a smile or nod. This would create a stronger link between him and the crowd, enhancing the sense of community.
  • To improve the transition to Bob's performance, you could include a moment where Pete encourages Bob from the stage, perhaps calling him out or giving him a shout-out. This would create a smoother segue and build anticipation for Bob's entrance.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the audience, the smell of the venue, or the feel of the stage. This would create a more immersive experience for the viewer.
  • Explore the dynamics between Pete and Bob further. Perhaps include a brief exchange of words or a shared look that conveys their mentor-mentee relationship, reinforcing the emotional weight of Bob's upcoming performance.



Scene 9 -  Joan's Stand
18 EXT. MERCER STREET -- EARLY EVENING 18

Trees are budding as a 22 YEAR OLD WOMAN with long black hair
rounds a corner, hauling a guitar. She passes a crowd of
folkies and hipsters waiting for “GERDES FOLK CITY” to open.

FOLKIE FANS
Joan! JOAN!!

-- but they’re too late -- THE DOORS CLOSE revealing a sign:
TONIGHT! FROM WEST COAST! JOAN BAEZ! OPEN MIC AT 10!
CUT TO:
19 INT. THE GERDES FOLK CITY -- DRESSING ROOM -- SAME 19

JOAN enters her small dressing room to find -- ALBERT
GROSSMAN, a mop-haired talent manager sitting in the corner.
He reads from a newspaper :

ALBERT
“Baez sends one scurrying to the
thesaurus for superlatives. A
beautiful recording for people who
hate folk and those that love it.”

The door opens to reveal TITO, stage manager. We see the
packed club behind him.

TITO
Five minutes, Joan.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 16.


ALBERT
Tito, I’m reading!
(waves the paper)
That’s the New York Times, Joanie.
Bob Shelton is a fan.

Joan allows a smile.

ALBERT (CONT’D)
That’s what I want to see!
(points toward stage)
Not what they should see, but what
your manager should see!

JOAN
You’re not my manager. And that review
is two weeks old.

Tito crosses to grab the trash bin.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
Shelton’s back tonight. At the bar
with John Hammond. John Hammond,
Joanie.. Columbia Records.

JOAN
I don’t need a label. Or a manager.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
Columbia is not a label. It’s Mount
Rushmore; Tony Bennett, Doris Day,
Johnny Mathis, Miles Davis. They got
everyone.. Except a folk singer.

JOAN
Albert, can you leave please?

Albert sighs and gathers his things to exit with Tito.

ALBERT
Other girls strum, Tito, they smile.
Joanie looks at her shoes. Acts
depressed. Makes men crazy.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a tense scene at Gerdes Folk City, 22-year-old Joan asserts her independence as she prepares for her performance. Despite the excitement of fans outside, she faces pressure from her manager, Albert Grossman, who urges her to sign with Columbia Records. Joan firmly rejects his suggestions, emphasizing her desire to remain unbound by a label or management. The scene highlights the conflict between her determination and Albert's persuasive tactics, ending with him and the stage manager, Tito, leaving the dressing room.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Exploration of complex themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional depth of the characters, setting up a compelling conflict that drives the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the struggle between artistic integrity and commercial success, is engaging and thought-provoking.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is driven by the internal conflict of the main character and sets up intriguing dynamics for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the music industry and the struggle between artistic integrity and commercial success.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene and setting up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 8

The main character undergoes subtle changes in her perspective and priorities, setting up potential growth in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Joan's internal goal is to assert her independence and resist the pressure to conform to traditional expectations of a folk singer.

External Goal: 7

Joan's external goal is to perform at the open mic night and showcase her talent.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, adding depth to the characters and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition between Joan and Albert is strong, creating conflict and driving the scene forward.

High Stakes: 8

While the stakes are primarily internal in this scene, the decisions made by the characters have the potential to significantly impact their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts and relationships that will likely impact future events.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions, but the outcome of Joan's decision remains uncertain.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Joan's desire for artistic freedom and Albert's push for commercial success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to empathy, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue and conflicting goals of the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic moment between Joan and Albert.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, making it easy to follow for readers.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a character-driven drama, with clear conflict and character motivations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Joan Baez's character as a strong-willed and independent artist, which is crucial for her portrayal in the screenplay. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the conflict between Joan and Albert. While their disagreement is clear, adding layers to their motivations could enhance the tension.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from the crowd's excitement to Joan's dressing room. A brief moment of Joan's internal thoughts or feelings about the crowd's anticipation could create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Albert's character comes off as somewhat one-dimensional, primarily serving as a foil to Joan. To make him more compelling, consider giving him a moment of vulnerability or a hint of his own aspirations that might explain his pushiness. This could create a more dynamic interaction between the two characters.
  • The dialogue is witty and engaging, but it occasionally feels expository. For instance, Albert's description of Columbia Records could be streamlined to sound more natural. Instead of listing artists, perhaps he could reference a specific moment or anecdote that illustrates the label's prestige.
  • The visual elements of the scene are somewhat lacking. While the setting is established, incorporating more sensory details—like the sounds of the crowd, the atmosphere of the dressing room, or Joan's physical reactions—could enhance the scene's immersion.
Suggestions
  • Add a moment where Joan reflects on the crowd's excitement before entering the dressing room, allowing the audience to connect with her emotions and the weight of the moment.
  • Consider giving Albert a more nuanced perspective by including a line that hints at his own struggles or aspirations in the music industry, making him a more relatable character.
  • Streamline Albert's dialogue about Columbia Records to make it feel more conversational. Perhaps he could share a personal story about an artist's success rather than listing names.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene. Describe the sounds of the crowd, the ambiance of the dressing room, or Joan's physical demeanor to create a more vivid experience.
  • Explore the possibility of Joan's body language and expressions during her exchanges with Albert. This could convey her frustration and determination without relying solely on dialogue.



Scene 10 -  A Night of Heartfelt Melodies
20 INT. GERDES FOLK CITY -- LATER 20

JOAN SINGS
If I had listened to what my mother
said I'd have been at home today.
But I was young and foolish, oh God
Let a rambler lead me astray..
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 17.


Under a harsh spot, JOAN BAEZ sings from a stool. Her soprano
is lovely, but there’s also a cut of pain in it.

IN THE BACK OF THE PACKED CLUB, ALBERT works to get closer to
JOHN HAMMOND as he chats with a coterie of industry types.

JOAN SINGS (CONT’D)
Go tell my baby sister "Don't do what
I have done.” But shun that house in
New Orleans they call the Rising Sun.

Between stanzas, Joan’s eyes flick to --

THE AUDIENCE -- Among them, Albert, Hammond. Shelton from the
Times, making notes. Then her eyes find PETE SEEGER. Pete
beams. He stands beside BOB, disheveled, in a newsboy cap.

Bob stares at Joan. She holds his look a moment, then turns
from the mic and lets her unamplified voice loose.

JOAN SINGS ACAPELLA
I'm going back to New Orleans. My race
is almost run. I'm going back to spend
my life beneath that Rising Sun..

Lights duck. The crowd applauds enthusiastically. Joan
stands, gathering her gear.

GERDES MC
Joan Baez, ladies and gentlemen!

Joan makes a beeline to her dressing room, passing Pete who
grabs a hold of her.

PETE
Just great, Joan. So moving.

JOAN
Thanks, Pete.

PETE
This is my friend, Bobby.

Bob offers his hand. She shakes it.

BOB
Real nice work.

JOAN
Thanks.

Joan moves off as --
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 18.


GERDES MC
And now, a special guest is going to
introduce open mic tonight..

PETE
But I’m not passing the basket!

The audience laughs. Everyone recognizes his voice.

GERDES MC
A voice we already know. And love!
Mr. Pete Seeger!

Pete ambles onstage to great applause, whistles.

PETE
Thanks, folks. A few months ago, Woody
and me, we met a young man. He kind of
dropped in on us. And he sang for us.

Paying his tab, John Hammond turns from his entourage.

PETE (CONT’D)
And that moment, Woody and I felt like
there might be a new road. We wanted
to share that feeling. He’s been
playing a bit around town but I
thought it was time he take the stage
at Folk City. Say hello to my friend,
Bobby Dylan.

To polite applause, Bob shuffles up to the stage.

BOB
Thanks, Pete. ‘Lot to live up to.
(tuning his guitar)
‘Hope this goes better than it did in
East Orange, New Jersey.

Sparse chuckles for the scrawny young man in the spotlight.
Bob hardly looks from his guitar, speaks quickly, edgy.

BOB (CONT’D)
Not long ago I played this coffee
house in East Orange, New Jersey.
-- You don’t know about this, Pete.

Pete watches, smiling, but unsure where his friend is going.

BOB (CONT’D)
It was a chess-playing coffee house in
East Orange, New Jersey. Chess boards
everywhere. Everybody sipping tea and
playing chess.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 19.
BOB (CONT’D)
I try to do a quiet song and in the
middle I hear stuff like “Good move!”
or “Check mate!”

Laughter from the crowd. As Joan gathers her things, she
looks at Bob on stage through her cracked dressing room door.

BOB (CONT’D)
Anyways. After two days, I quit and
asked for my pay. And the manager, he
looks at me and says, “We don’t pay in
money here in East Orange” He says “We
pay here in chess men”.

More laughter.

BOB (CONT’D)
And I say, “Okay, gimme my chess men
then.” And he reaches under the bar
and pulls out a King and Queen. So, I
take my King and my Queen down the
street to a bar. And I go to the
bartender and I says “Gimme a pint.”
And the bartender gives me a pint and
asks me to pay. So I give him my King
and my Queen. And I’ll be damned, he
takes them, reaches under the bar and
brings out ..a Pawn, two Bishops and a
Rook for change.

Uproarious laughter. Pleased, Bob sets his harp rack round
his neck. He starts plucking a plaintive intro. He sees --

Joan crossing to leave. She pauses before the exit, getting
praise, meeting eyes with Bob..

BOB (CONT’D)
How ‘bout that Joan Baez? I gotta say,
folks, she’s pretty good.
(strong applause)
She’s pretty, that’s for sure, and
sings pretty. Maybe too pretty.

Joan reacts without moving. Bob turns to the audience.

BOB (CONT’D)
Anyways. Here’s something I wrote.
Hope you think it’s good. It’s gotta
be good for somebody.

Bob’s intensity holds everyone now. And then..
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 20.


BOB SINGS
I was young when I left home.
And I’ve been rambling round.
And I never wrote a letter to my home.
To my home, Lord, to my home.
I never wrote a letter to my home.

CLOSE ON -- SHELTON, SEEGER, JOAN, ALBERT, everyone watching.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
It was just the other day. I was
bringing home my pay. When I met an
old friend I used to know. He said,
your mother’s dead and gone. Every
sisters all gone wrong. And your daddy
needs you home right away. I have a
shirt on my back. Not a penny on my
name. Oh, I can't go home this way.
This way, Lord, Lord, Lord. And I
can't go home this way..

You could hear a pin drop and suddenly we hear a wicked
harp solo and --
WE CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At Gerdes Folk City, Joan Baez captivates the audience with a poignant performance, making a meaningful connection with Bob Dylan in the crowd. After receiving praise from Pete Seeger and Bob, she shares a moment of camaraderie before Pete introduces Bob, who lightens the atmosphere with a humorous story before delivering a deeply resonant song that resonates with the audience. The scene captures the emotional struggles and aspirations of both artists in the folk music scene.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of the music performances
  • Strong character interactions
  • Authentic dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited overt conflict
  • Some characters could be further developed

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, engaging, and emotionally resonant, with strong performances and impactful music. It effectively introduces Bob Dylan and captures the essence of the folk music scene of the era.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the power of music to connect people and evoke emotions. It explores themes of independence, authenticity, and the evolving folk music scene of the 1960s.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around a music performance at Gerdes Folk City, introducing Bob Dylan and showcasing the dynamics between the characters. It moves the story forward by setting up future developments in the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates originality through its fresh approach to depicting a folk music performance, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue, and the emotional depth of the storytelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, including Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, and Bob Dylan, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions and performances add depth to the scene and drive the emotional impact.

Character Changes: 8

The scene sets up potential character changes for Bob Dylan as he navigates the folk music scene and interacts with established musicians like Pete Seeger and Joan Baez.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to express their emotions and connect with the audience through their music. This reflects their need for validation, expression, and connection.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to perform well and make an impression on the audience and industry professionals present. This reflects the immediate challenge of proving themselves as a talented musician.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some tension in the scene, particularly around Bob Dylan's performance and Joan Baez's independence, the conflict is more subtle and emotional than overt.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges in expressing themselves authentically and making an impression on the audience.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, there is a sense of importance and potential impact in the music performances and the interactions between the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing Bob Dylan to the music scene, setting up future developments in his career and relationships with other musicians.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the protagonist's performance and interactions with other characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is evident in the protagonist's struggle between staying true to their authentic self and conforming to societal expectations or pressures. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about success and artistic integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, driven by the powerful music performances, the connections between the characters, and the themes of authenticity and connection.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is authentic and reflective of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys emotions, humor, and the evolving dynamics between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, relatable themes, and compelling character interactions. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's journey and struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, emotion, and engagement throughout the protagonist's performance and interactions with other characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a performance scene, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a performance scene in a screenplay, with a clear setup, development, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the atmosphere of a live performance, showcasing Joan Baez's emotional delivery and the audience's engagement. However, the transition from Joan's performance to Bob's introduction could be smoother. The abrupt shift in focus might disorient the audience, so consider adding a brief moment that highlights the audience's reaction to Joan before moving to Bob.
  • Bob's comedic storytelling is a strong element that adds levity to the scene, but it could benefit from a clearer connection to his character's journey. While the chess anecdote is amusing, it feels somewhat disconnected from the emotional weight of the preceding performance. Integrating a more personal or reflective moment in Bob's introduction could enhance the audience's understanding of his character.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For example, Bob's setup for the chess story could be more concise, allowing the punchline to land more effectively. This would maintain the audience's engagement and keep the pacing brisk.
  • The visual elements are well-described, particularly the contrast between Joan's performance and the audience's reactions. However, consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience further in the scene. Describing the sounds of the club, the lighting, or the physical reactions of the audience could enhance the atmosphere.
  • The emotional tone shifts from Joan's poignant performance to Bob's humor, which is effective but could be better balanced. Ensure that Bob's humor does not undermine the emotional resonance of Joan's performance. Perhaps Bob could acknowledge the impact of Joan's song before launching into his own story, creating a more cohesive emotional arc.
Suggestions
  • Add a brief moment of audience reaction to Joan's performance before transitioning to Bob's introduction to create a smoother flow.
  • Consider integrating a more personal or reflective moment in Bob's introduction to connect his comedic storytelling to his character's journey.
  • Tighten Bob's dialogue, especially the setup for the chess story, to maintain pacing and enhance comedic impact.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as the sounds of the club and the physical reactions of the audience.
  • Ensure Bob acknowledges the emotional weight of Joan's performance before launching into his humor to maintain a cohesive emotional arc.



Scene 11 -  From Park Performance to Studio Struggles
21 EXT. WEST VILLAGE PARK -- DAY 21

Bob sits on a bench with a partner (MARK). They play their
guitars on the perimeter of Washington Square, a hat for
donations. Passing Beatniks, professors and women, tweedy and
boheme watch Bob making car sounds and sing as they pass..

BOB SINGS
Take me riding in a car, car. Take you
riding in a car, car. Take you for a
ride or take you for a ride. Oh, going
for a ride in a car!

A lady with a grinning boy puts a dollar in Bob’s hat. It
sits with another dollar plus pocket change. Bob scoops up
the cash and ditches Mark, runs toward a cab.

CUT TO:
22 EXT. COLUMBIA RECORDS -- MIDTOWN -- DAY 22

Bob steps out of his taxi carrying his axe in front of the
COLUMBIA RECORDS BUILDING. Al Grossman comes for him, freaked
out, arms flailing, revealing a pistol under his sport coat.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
What does two o’clock mean to you,
Bobby? Cause I can tell you what it
means to John Hammond. It means two
fucking o’clock. And right now, it’s
fucking five minutes past three!
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 21.


BOB
Are you packing heat, Albert? That
looks like a snubnose.
CUT TO:
23 INT. COLUMBIA RECORDS BUILDING -- ELEVATOR -- SAME 23

Albert and Bob ride an elevator with an attendant. Albert
reads a clipping from The NY Times in a hushed voice.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
..a cross between a choir boy and a
beatnik, Mr. Dylan has a cherubic look
and a mop of tousled hair--

BOB
Stop it.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
-- tousled hair he covers with a Huck
Finn cap. His clothes need tailoring--

BOB
Stop.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
--but when he works his guitar there
is no doubt he is bursting at the
seams with talent.

Bob grabs the clipping. Reads it.

ALBERT GROSSMAN (CONT’D)
A rave from the Times. Our floor.

Albert drags Bob out as he folds the clipping.
CUT TO:
24 INT. RECORDING STUDIO -- DAY 24

IN THE CONTROL ROOM, AN ENGINEER checks a reel to reel as it
spins then crosses past John Hammond and Albert Grossman back
to the board, meters bouncing. He watches with skepticism as,
through the glass, BOB lays a take of “Fixin to Die”.

BOB SINGS
Feelin' funny in my mind Lord, I
believe I'm fixin' to die. Well I
don't mind dyin' but I hate to leave
my children cryin'..

HAMMOND
Can you start again, Bob? You keep
turning from the mic.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 22.


BACK IN THE CONTROL ROOM, Albert crosses to Hammond, who
stands beside an ART DIRECTOR. They examine proofs of an
album cover; a photo of Bob embracing the neck of his Gibson.

As Bob starts playing again --

ALBERT
(whispers to Hammond)
He’s got originals too. Good ones.

HAMMOND
Traditional repertoire for now,
Albert. We’re putting a young face on
it. I signed LaFarge for originals.
(to a designer re: cover)
Is this the best one?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary Bob and his partner Mark entertain crowds in Washington Square Park with a lively song, but Bob abruptly leaves to meet his manager, Al Grossman, at Columbia Records. Tension arises as Grossman confronts Bob about his lateness, while a newspaper clipping praising Bob's talent only adds to his annoyance. The scene shifts to the recording studio where Bob attempts to record 'Fixin to Die,' but is interrupted by John Hammond, who insists on focusing on traditional songs, highlighting the conflict between Bob's artistic desires and commercial expectations.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Engaging conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Lack of visual variety

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, with a clear purpose of showcasing Bob's talent and the pressure he faces in the music industry. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the audition process and the power dynamics between an artist and their manager. It effectively explores themes of independence and artistic integrity.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on Bob's audition at Columbia Records and the pressure he faces to succeed. It advances the narrative by highlighting key conflicts and character motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the music industry in the 1960s and presents authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters and setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob Dylan and Albert Grossman are well-developed and their interactions are engaging. Bob's defiance and Albert's pressure add depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

Bob undergoes a subtle change in the scene, from defiance to a realization of the challenges he faces in the music industry. His interactions with Albert shape his character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to prove his talent and worth as a musician. This reflects his deeper desire for recognition and success in the music industry.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to impress Albert Grossman and John Hammond at Columbia Records. He wants to secure a record deal and advance his music career.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bob and Albert drives the scene, creating tension and drama. Their opposing goals and personalities clash, adding depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Albert Grossman presenting a significant challenge to Bob's goals and beliefs.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Bob as he navigates the audition process and the pressure to succeed in the music industry. His future career depends on this crucial moment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Bob's audition at Columbia Records and the challenges he faces as a young artist. It sets up future conflicts and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events with Albert Grossman revealing a pistol and the tension between artistic integrity and commercial success.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Bob's desire to stay true to his original music and Albert Grossman's push for a more commercial sound. This challenges Bob's beliefs about artistic integrity and commercial success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes emotions of defiance, determination, and resilience, particularly in Bob's character. The audience can empathize with his struggle to maintain his artistic integrity.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, confrontational, and humorous, reflecting the tension between Bob and Albert. It effectively conveys their conflicting motivations and personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic characters, witty dialogue, and high stakes for Bob's music career.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a mix of dialogue and action that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard screenplay formatting for its genre, making it easy to read and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a music industry narrative, with clear setups and payoffs that drive the story forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of Washington Square Park and introduces Bob's playful character through his singing and interactions with passersby. However, the transition from the park to Columbia Records feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • Bob's playful song about riding in a car is a charming touch, but it could benefit from more context or emotional depth. As it stands, it feels somewhat disconnected from the urgency of his subsequent meeting with Al Grossman. Adding a line or two that reflects Bob's aspirations or feelings about his music career could create a stronger emotional link.
  • Al Grossman's introduction is strong, showcasing his frantic personality and the pressure he puts on Bob. However, the dialogue could be tightened for clarity. For instance, instead of 'What does two o’clock mean to you, Bobby?' consider a more direct approach like 'You know what time it is, Bobby?' This would maintain the urgency while making the dialogue feel more natural.
  • The humor in Bob's response about Grossman packing heat is a nice touch, but it could be enhanced by Bob's body language or a brief internal thought that reflects his feelings about the situation. This would add depth to his character and provide insight into his mindset.
  • The elevator scene is a clever way to convey Bob's rising fame through the newspaper clipping. However, the dialogue exchange feels a bit repetitive with multiple 'stop' commands. Streamlining this back-and-forth could maintain the comedic tone without losing momentum.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Bob reflects on his performance in the park, perhaps thinking about how it connects to his larger goals as a musician. This could deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
  • Enhance the transition between the park and Columbia Records by including a moment of anticipation or anxiety for Bob as he heads to the meeting. This could be a quick internal monologue or a visual cue that emphasizes his excitement and nervousness.
  • Revise Al Grossman's dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Focus on the urgency of the situation without excessive repetition, which can detract from the tension.
  • Incorporate more physicality into Bob's reactions to Grossman's frantic energy. This could be a nervous gesture or a moment of hesitation that highlights the pressure he feels.
  • Consider using the elevator ride to further develop the relationship between Bob and Grossman. A brief exchange about their past experiences or mutual goals could add depth to their dynamic.



Scene 12 -  Blues Jam Connections
25 INT. RIVERSIDE CHURCH -- SAME 25

CLOSE ON -- BOB, at a mic, blowing on a harp. He stands under
a church banner which declares Saturday Blues Jam!

BOB SINGS
Well, if I had to do it all over again
Babe, I'd do it all over you. And if I
had to wait for ten thousand years
Babe, I'd even do that too.

TWO BLUESMEN (SONNY TERRY & BROWNIE MCGHEE) wait to go on.
The opening act is BOB, playing feverishly :

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Well, a dog's got his bone in the
alley. A cat, she's got nine lives.
A millionaire's got a million dollars
King Saud's got four hundred wives..

Bob’s eyes catch -- A MAN IN HEADPHONES, 40’s, who operates a
Nagra near the altar assisted by A YOUNG WOMAN (GENA).

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Everybody's got somethin' that they're
lookin' forward to. I'm lookin'
forward to when I can do it all again.
And babe, I'll do it all over you.

Eager applause as Bob steps off the stage and SONNY TERRY and
BROWNIE MCGHEE, take the mic.

BROWNIE MCGHEE
Ladies and Gentlemen, Bobby Dylan!
That boy plays some harp!
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 23.


Bob tips his hat to the bluesmen and walks toward the pews.
He passes A PRETTY GIRL WITH TEASED HAIR (SYLVIE, 19). Bob
throws himself into a pew behind her, takes out a bible and
starts pretending to read it. Sylvie turns around..

SYLVIE
How old are you?

BOB
Twenty.

SYLVIE
You wrote those songs?

BOB
The last two.

SYLVIE
You’re good.

BOB
You mean for my age?

Someone shushes them.

BOB (CONT’D)
Thanks. Thank you.

Sylvie turns back to the stage as--

BROWNIE MCGHEE SINGS
You don't know where you’re goin’. But
you do know where you been! Walk on,
walk on, walk on, I walk on.

Bob leans forward and whispers to Sylvie.

BOB
What’s that guy doing?

He points to the MAN ON THE NAGRA.

SYLVIE
That’s Alan Lomax. That’s what he
does. He runs the Archive of American
Folk. They record Folk Music.

BOB
How do you know so much?

SYLVIE
My sister works for him.

Sonny and Brownie groove as Bob holds out a crumpled bag.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 24.


BOB
Want some peanuts?

She takes one.

BOB (CONT’D)
‘used to live on these things when
I worked at a carnival.

SYLVIE
You worked at the carnival?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Musical","Drama"]

Summary In a riverside church during a Saturday Blues Jam, Bob captivates the audience with his original songs and harmonica skills. After his performance, he engages in a light-hearted conversation with Sylvie, who admires his music and knowledge of the folk scene. They share stories about Bob's past, including his time at a carnival, while blues legends Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee take the stage. The scene is filled with upbeat nostalgia and camaraderie, culminating in Bob offering Sylvie peanuts.
Strengths
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Authentic musical performance
  • Introduction of new character adds depth
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, engaging, and provides a mix of emotions and interactions that keep the audience interested. The introduction of Sylvie adds a new dynamic to the story, and the musical performance adds depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a blues jam session in a church setting, combined with character interactions and the introduction of new elements, is unique and well-developed.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses with the introduction of Sylvie and the exploration of Bob's world within the folk music scene. The scene adds depth to the overall story and characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a blend of music, history, and personal connection, offering a fresh perspective on the protagonist's journey in the music industry. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Bob and Sylvie, are well-developed and engaging. Their interaction adds layers to the story and keeps the audience invested in their journey.

Character Changes: 7

Bob's interaction with Sylvie hints at potential character growth and new connections. The scene sets the stage for future developments and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with someone in the audience, particularly a young woman named Sylvie. This reflects his desire for recognition and validation as a musician.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to understand the role of Alan Lomax and the Archive of American Folk in recording folk music. This reflects his curiosity and interest in music history.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on character interactions and musical performance. The tension is subtle but adds to the overall atmosphere.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicts arising from the protagonist's interactions with Sylvie and his curiosity about Alan Lomax. The audience is kept guessing about the outcomes of these interactions.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character interactions and musical performance. The tension is subtle but adds depth to the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters, deepening relationships, and exploring the folk music scene of the time. It sets the stage for future events and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected connections and revelations between characters, such as Sylvie's knowledge of Alan Lomax and the protagonist's past.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's youthful ambition and Sylvie's knowledge and connection to the music industry. This challenges the protagonist's perception of his own talent and experience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from nostalgia to curiosity to joy. The musical performance and character interactions create a heartfelt and engaging atmosphere.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is natural, engaging, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities and motivations. It flows well within the scene and adds depth to the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its musical performances, character interactions, and the protagonist's journey of self-discovery. The dialogue and pacing keep the audience interested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing musical performances, character interactions, and dialogue exchanges effectively. It maintains a rhythm that enhances the scene's emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues. It adheres to industry standards.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format, introducing characters, conflicts, and resolutions in a coherent manner. It aligns with the expected structure for a music-themed screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of a blues jam, showcasing Bob's musical talent and his interactions with Sylvie. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to enhance character development. While Bob's playful banter with Sylvie is charming, it feels somewhat superficial and could be expanded to reveal more about their personalities and backgrounds.
  • The transition from Bob's performance to his interaction with Sylvie is smooth, but the dialogue lacks a sense of urgency or emotional weight. Given the context of the scene, it would be impactful to explore Bob's feelings about performing and his aspirations in the music industry, which could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • The introduction of Alan Lomax as a character is intriguing, but his role could be more clearly defined. As a significant figure in folk music, his presence should carry more weight in the scene. Consider adding a brief exchange that highlights his importance or influence on Bob's journey, which would enrich the narrative.
  • The use of humor in Bob's dialogue is effective, but it could be balanced with moments of vulnerability. This would create a more nuanced portrayal of Bob as an artist navigating the complexities of fame and personal relationships. Adding layers to his character would make him more relatable and engaging.
  • The scene ends abruptly after Sylvie's question about Bob's past. This could be an opportunity to deepen their connection by allowing Bob to share a brief anecdote about his time at the carnival, which would not only provide insight into his character but also serve as a segue into further conversation.
Suggestions
  • Expand the dialogue between Bob and Sylvie to include more personal anecdotes or reflections that reveal their characters and motivations. This could help establish a deeper connection between them.
  • Incorporate a moment where Bob reflects on the significance of performing at the blues jam, perhaps expressing his aspirations or fears about his music career. This would add emotional depth to the scene.
  • Consider adding a brief interaction between Bob and Alan Lomax that highlights Lomax's influence on folk music and his potential impact on Bob's career. This could provide context for the audience and enrich the narrative.
  • Introduce moments of vulnerability in Bob's character to balance the humor. This could involve him sharing a concern or doubt about his music, making him more relatable to the audience.
  • Extend the scene to include a more gradual transition from the performance to the conversation with Sylvie, allowing for a more natural flow and deeper exploration of their budding relationship.



Scene 13 -  The Nature of Performance
26 EXT. RIVERSIDE CHURCH -- SAME 26

Sylvie and Bob walk from the church, Bob toting his guitar.

BOB
..They had strong men, fire eaters,
siamese twins. All that stuff. One
lady, her skin was burnt off and she
looked like a grown up wrinkly baby.
People would pay money to see her in a
crib with a rattle.
CUT TO:
27 SYLVIE AND BOB WALK DOWN THE STREET -- SAME 27

BOB
The whole thing made me think about
people on stage. About how everyone
who gets on a stage, everyone who’s
gonna hold your attention, they have
to kinda be a freak.

SYLVIE
Not everyone.

BOB
Anyone who’s good.

SYLVIE
Are you a freak?

BOB
I hope so.

SYLVIE
Frank Sinatra’s not a freak.

BOB
That voice ain’t human.

Sylvie takes this in.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 25.


BOB (CONT’D)
You can be beautiful. You can be ugly.
But you can’t be plain. You have to be
something people can’t stop looking
at, like a train wreck or car crash.
And you gotta be happy to be a freak.
And at the same time, you gotta make
the audience happy they’re not one.

Sylvie ponders this as Bob looks at the marquee of A REVIVAL
THEATER with a poster of Bette Davis, “NOW, VOYAGER”.

BOB (CONT’D)
You ever see this?

SYLVIE
I thought we were going to see
Guernica at the Museum.

BOB
(goes to buy tickets)
Picasso’s overrated.
(then)
You got a dollar?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary Sylvie and Bob exit a church, engaging in a philosophical debate about what makes a captivating performer. Bob argues that true performers must possess a 'freakish' quality, while Sylvie counters with examples like Frank Sinatra, prompting her to reflect on her own identity. Their conversation shifts as they pass a theater showing a Bette Davis film, leading Bob to suggest they skip the museum for the movie, asking Sylvie for a dollar for tickets.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Thought-provoking thematic exploration
  • Character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene delves deep into the philosophical aspects of performance and individuality, providing thought-provoking insights into the nature of being a 'freak' on stage. The dialogue is rich and engaging, offering a unique perspective on the entertainment industry and the importance of standing out.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of being a 'freak' on stage is explored in a compelling and thought-provoking manner, offering valuable insights into the nature of performance and entertainment. The scene's focus on individuality and audience engagement is well-developed and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene does not heavily rely on plot progression, it effectively explores thematic elements related to performance and individuality. The interaction between the characters and the philosophical discussions drive the scene forward, contributing to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the idea of being a 'freak' in the context of performance. The dialogue feels authentic and thought-provoking.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Bob and Sylvie, are well-developed and contribute to the exploration of the concept of being a 'freak' on stage. Their interactions and dialogue add depth to the scene and enhance the thematic elements being discussed.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the exploration of the concept of being a 'freak' on stage prompts introspection and self-reflection in the characters, particularly Bob. The scene sets the stage for potential character development in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand the concept of being a 'freak' in the context of performance and entertainment. This reflects his desire to stand out and be memorable.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to buy tickets for a theater show. This reflects the immediate circumstance of choosing between different forms of entertainment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The scene does not contain significant conflict, focusing more on philosophical discussions and character interactions. The conflict present is more internal and reflective, contributing to the thematic exploration of individuality and stage presence.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the protagonist's internal struggle with the concept of being a 'freak' and standing out.

High Stakes: 3

The scene does not involve high stakes or intense conflict, focusing more on philosophical discussions and character interactions. The stakes are more internal and reflective, adding depth to the thematic exploration of individuality and stage presence.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by exploring thematic elements related to performance and individuality. While it does not heavily drive the plot forward, it sets the stage for deeper character development and thematic exploration in subsequent scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the philosophical conflict and the protagonist's internal struggle.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between conforming to societal norms and expectations versus embracing individuality and uniqueness. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about what it takes to be successful in the entertainment industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of contemplation and introspection, offering a reflective and philosophical look at the nature of performance and entertainment. The emotional impact is subtle but thought-provoking, engaging the audience on a deeper level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, thought-provoking, and reflective, adding depth to the exploration of the concept of being a 'freak' on stage. The philosophical musings and character interactions are well-crafted and contribute significantly to the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the thought-provoking dialogue and the exploration of deeper themes.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in allowing the dialogue to unfold naturally and build tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay format for dialogue and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a dialogue-driven scene in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Bob and Sylvie is engaging and showcases their chemistry, but it could benefit from more subtext. While Bob's assertions about performers being 'freaks' are intriguing, Sylvie's responses could delve deeper into her own perspective, adding layers to their conversation.
  • Bob's character is well-established as someone who embraces the unconventional, but the scene could explore the implications of his views on performance more thoroughly. For instance, how does Bob reconcile his desire to be a 'freak' with the pressures of fame and public perception?
  • The transition from the carnival anecdote to the discussion about performers feels a bit abrupt. A smoother segue could enhance the flow of the scene, perhaps by having Sylvie ask more about Bob's experiences at the carnival before he jumps into his thoughts on performance.
  • The visual elements, such as the marquee of the theater, are a nice touch, but they could be used more effectively to reflect the themes of the conversation. For example, a brief description of the audience's reactions to the performances could reinforce Bob's point about being captivating.
  • The ending, where Bob asks for a dollar to buy tickets, feels somewhat disconnected from the deeper philosophical discussion they've just had. It might be more impactful if the ticket purchase was tied to their conversation, perhaps as a way for Bob to illustrate his point about the value of art and experience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Sylvie in her responses to Bob's assertions. This could create a richer dialogue and allow for character development.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or reflection after Bob's statements about being a 'freak' to emphasize the weight of his words and give Sylvie a chance to process and respond more thoughtfully.
  • Enhance the transition between the carnival story and the discussion about performers by having Sylvie ask more questions about Bob's past, which could lead to a deeper exploration of his character.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements that reflect the themes of the conversation, such as showing other performers or audience members that embody Bob's ideas about being captivating.
  • Rework the ending to tie Bob's request for a dollar into the larger themes of the scene, perhaps by having him suggest that the experience of art is worth the price, reinforcing the value of their conversation.



Scene 14 -  Dumplings and Dreams
28 INT. SYLVIE AND BOB IN THE MOVIE THEATER -- SAME 28

Feet up, Bob sips soda beside Sylvie watching as --

ON THE MOVIE SCREEN -- A suave Paul Henreid lights two
cigarettes and hands one to a luminous Bette Davis.
The Max Steiner score churns.

BETTE DAVIS
Oh Jerry, don’t ask for the moon..
we have the stars.
29 INT. CHINATOWN RESTAURANT -- LATER THAT NIGHT 29

Bob and Sylvie eat dumplings.

SYLVIE
..So, Bette Davis was a mousy girl who
had to escape her domineering mother
to find herself--

BOB
(scoffs, tweaked)
..find herself?.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 26.


SYLVIE
--she runs away, becomes beautiful,
falls in love, returns home, destroys
her Mom and adopts the child of a man
she can never have.

BOB
She didn’t find herself, like her
“self” was a missing shoe. She just
made herself into something different.

SYLVIE
Something better.

BOB
Different.

SYLVIE
Okay.

BOB
What she wanted to be.

Sylvie thinks about this.

SYLVIE
What do you want to be?

BOB
A musician. Who eats.

SYLVIE
Well, I’d bet on you. I like your
songs.

BOB
(shrugs)
My record comes out in a couple weeks.

SYLVIE
Are some of the songs you played today
on your record?

BOB
Nah. It’s mostly standards.
Traditional stuff.
(off her look)
Folk songs are supposed to stand the
test of time. Like Shakespeare. They
say no one wants to hear what some kid
wrote last month.

SYLVIE
Who’s they?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 27.


BOB
Record company. Manager.

SYLVIE
I’m sorry but “Where Have All The
Flowers Gone” is not Shakespeare.

Bob smiles. The check arrives. Bob looks at his empty wallet
but Sylvie slaps down cash hands it to the waiter.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
I mean there was a time when the old
songs were new, right?
(grabs her jacket)
Someone, at some point, had to give
the songs a chance. I mean, there’s a
Civil War going on right now. Biggest
military build-up in the history,
bombs hanging over us. It’s not all
about the dust bowl or Johnny
Appleseed anymore.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a cozy Chinatown restaurant after watching a classic film, Bob and Sylvie engage in a playful debate about Bette Davis's character arc, reflecting their differing views on personal transformation. Their conversation shifts to Bob's aspirations as a musician, where Sylvie supports his talent but challenges his belief in the timelessness of traditional folk songs. The scene captures their light-hearted yet introspective exchange, ending with Sylvie paying the check and making a poignant remark about the relevance of new music in today's socio-political climate.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character depth
  • Thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into the characters' inner thoughts and desires through a meaningful dialogue, providing insight into their motivations and beliefs.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring identity through art and personal expression is compelling and thought-provoking.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is minimal, the scene serves as a pivotal moment for character development and thematic exploration.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the music industry and the timeless nature of folk songs, with authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their contrasting perspectives on art and identity add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both characters experience subtle shifts in their perspectives on art and self-identity during the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find his true identity and purpose in life, as reflected in his conversation with Sylvie about Bette Davis and his aspirations to be a musician.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the music industry and release his record successfully.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around the characters' differing views on art and identity.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but present, adding tension and conflict to the character interactions.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on personal reflection and character development.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene does not significantly advance the plot, it deepens the audience's understanding of the characters and themes.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and thematic exploration, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of authenticity in music and art, as well as the tension between tradition and innovation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of introspection and emotional resonance through the characters' discussions on personal growth and artistic integrity.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and beliefs while driving the thematic exploration.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue, character chemistry, and thematic depth that keeps the audience invested.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene enhances its effectiveness by allowing for natural dialogue flow and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character-driven dialogue scenes, allowing for natural progression and development.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Bob and Sylvie is engaging and reflects their differing perspectives on identity and artistry. However, the conversation could benefit from more emotional stakes. While they discuss Bette Davis's character arc, the stakes feel low. Adding a personal connection to their discussion—perhaps relating it to their own lives or aspirations—could deepen the emotional resonance.
  • The scene transitions from the movie theater to the restaurant smoothly, but the pacing feels slightly rushed. The dialogue could be expanded to allow for more natural pauses and reactions, giving the audience time to absorb the themes being discussed.
  • Bob's character comes off as somewhat dismissive in his critique of Bette Davis's character arc. While this aligns with his persona, it may alienate the audience from his character. Balancing his skepticism with moments of vulnerability or self-reflection could make him more relatable.
  • Sylvie's argument about the relevance of new songs in the face of historical events is compelling, but it could be strengthened by providing specific examples or personal anecdotes that illustrate her point. This would make her argument more persuasive and relatable.
  • The ending of the scene, where Sylvie pays the check, feels abrupt. It would be beneficial to include a moment of connection or reflection between Bob and Sylvie before they leave the restaurant, reinforcing their bond and the themes of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Bob reflects on his own journey as a musician in relation to Bette Davis's character, creating a parallel that deepens the thematic exploration of identity.
  • Expand the dialogue to include more back-and-forth exchanges that allow both characters to express their thoughts fully, creating a more dynamic conversation.
  • Introduce a moment of vulnerability for Bob, perhaps by having him share a personal story about his struggles as a musician, which would make his character more relatable and complex.
  • Incorporate specific examples of contemporary songs or artists that Sylvie admires, which would strengthen her argument and make the conversation feel more grounded in their reality.
  • Add a closing moment that emphasizes the connection between Bob and Sylvie, such as a shared laugh or a meaningful look, before transitioning to the next scene.



Scene 15 -  A Night of Connection
30 EXT. BOB AND SYLVIE WALK THROUGH THE VILLAGE -- NIGHT 30

Sylvie and Bob pass Jazz clubs and Folk clubs. Glorious music
bleeding onto the street, combining with street sounds.

SYLVIE
Monday to Thursday I’m at school. Then
I volunteer at CORE Fridays and
Saturdays. I take a painting class
Sunday mornings in Queens.

BOB
What’s CORE?

SYLVIE
Congress of Racial Equality.
They organize the freedom rides.

BOB
They bus people down south to
challenge segregation laws.

SYLVIE
Right. This is me.

Sylvie has stopped at a subway entrance. Bob turns to her.
She looks beautiful in the mercury light as her eyes meet
his. She pulls out a magazine from her bag (“The Partisan
Review”) and hands it to him.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 28.


SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Dwight MacDonald wrote a wonderful
piece in here. I think you’ll like
him. He’s contrarian, like you.

BOB
I’ll take a look.
(then)
What you doing tomorrow?

Sylvie rocks on her back foot.

SYLVIE
I told you my schedule.

BOB
Painting in Queens.

Sylvie clicks a pen and writes a number on Bob’s hand.

SYLVIE
I’m at my mom’s in the afternoon.
Call me there.

And with that, she kisses him and starts down the steps.

CUT TO:
31 INT. WEST VILLAGE RECORD SHOP -- NEW DAY 31

The store plays THE BALLAD OF IRA HAYES by Peter LaFarge as
BOB ambles in, perusing the record bins.

In the “FOLK” Section, Bob sees his own face staring back at
him from the “D” bin. Lots of copies. ..Not selling...

SOMEONE GRABS JOAN BAEZ’S RECORD FROM THE NEXT BIN. Her bin
is now empty except for a card that says -- REORDER.

CUT TO:
32 INT. WEST VILLAGE BAR -- SAME 32

A BLACK AND WHITE TV AT THE BAR PLAYS -- A NEWS REPORT :
A KKK attack on a Freedom Riders bus.. Images of the burning
shell of a bus, young black people crying. Racists chanting.

Bob smokes, sips coffee, deep in thought. He asks a waitress
for her pen and starts scribbling on a napkin. We see as he
writes words on the napkin.

BLOWIN IN WIND.. And over this we hear --
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 29.


BOB SINGS (O.S.)
..Yes and how many times must a man
look up Before he can see the sky?
AS WE CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a vibrant village at night, Sylvie shares her busy schedule and commitment to social activism with Bob, who shows genuine interest in her life. As they stand by a subway entrance, Sylvie gives Bob a magazine and writes her number on his hand before sharing a kiss and heading down the subway steps, leaving a sense of warmth and budding romance between them.
Strengths
  • Rich thematic exploration
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Natural dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some exposition-heavy moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the essence of the 1960s folk music scene and the characters' personal dynamics. It sets up intriguing conflicts and emotional depth while moving the plot forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring social issues, personal connections, and artistic pursuits in the backdrop of the 1960s folk music scene is compelling and well-realized.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is enriched by the introduction of new characters, conflicts, and thematic elements. It sets up future developments and adds depth to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh themes of activism and racial equality, providing a unique perspective on the characters' motivations and conflicts.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Bob and Sylvie are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions reveal layers of their personalities and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both Bob and Sylvie experience subtle shifts in their perspectives and connections during the scene, setting the stage for potential character growth in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Sylvie's internal goal is to connect with Bob on a deeper level and share her passions and interests with him.

External Goal: 7.5

Bob's external goal is to learn more about Sylvie and her involvement in CORE, as well as to make plans to see her again.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there are elements of societal conflict and personal dilemmas, the scene focuses more on introspection and character dynamics rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, driving the characters' motivations and decisions.

High Stakes: 6

While there are personal and societal stakes involved in the scene, they are more subtly implied through the characters' interactions and thematic elements.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new characters, conflicts, and thematic elements that will likely impact future events and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected emotional revelations and character dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of racial equality and activism, challenging Bob's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of hope, contemplation, and emotional depth through the interactions between Bob and Sylvie, as well as the thematic exploration of social issues.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is natural, reflective of the characters' personalities, and drives the scene forward. It effectively conveys emotions, themes, and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters and the thematic depth of the dialogue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing its impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for the genre, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure that effectively develops the characters and themes.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of the Village at night, with the music from the clubs creating a rich backdrop. This sensory detail immerses the audience in the setting, enhancing the emotional connection between Bob and Sylvie.
  • Sylvie's dialogue about her commitments to CORE and her painting class provides depth to her character, showcasing her activism and artistic aspirations. However, the scene could benefit from more emotional stakes or conflict to heighten the tension between their budding romance and their individual pursuits.
  • The exchange of the magazine is a nice touch, symbolizing Sylvie's intellectual connection to Bob and her desire to share ideas. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic; it feels somewhat expository. Consider incorporating more playful banter or a deeper philosophical discussion to make their interaction feel more organic.
  • The kiss at the end of the scene is a sweet moment, but it could be more impactful if it were preceded by a stronger emotional build-up. The transition from their conversation to the kiss feels a bit abrupt; adding a moment of hesitation or vulnerability could enhance the emotional weight.
  • The scene ends with a clear cut to the next location, which is effective for pacing, but it might benefit from a more gradual transition that reflects Bob's thoughts or feelings as he watches Sylvie leave. This could provide a deeper insight into his character and his emotional state.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of tension or conflict in the conversation to create a more dynamic interaction between Bob and Sylvie. This could involve differing opinions on activism or music, which would deepen their connection and highlight their individual passions.
  • Enhance the dialogue by incorporating more playful or witty exchanges that reflect their chemistry. This could make their relationship feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Before the kiss, introduce a moment of vulnerability or hesitation that allows the audience to feel the weight of their connection. This could be a shared look or a pause in conversation that builds anticipation.
  • Explore Bob's internal thoughts or feelings as Sylvie leaves, perhaps through a brief voiceover or a visual cue that reflects his emotional state. This would add depth to his character and provide insight into his perspective on their relationship.
  • Consider using more vivid imagery or metaphors in the dialogue to convey the themes of music and activism, making the conversation feel more poetic and resonant.



Scene 16 -  Harmony in the Hospital
33 INT. GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- WOODY’S ROOM -- DAY 33

At Woody’s bedside, Bob plays.

BOB SINGS
..And how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?

CLOSE ON -- WOODY. Riveted. Eyes bright. Smoking a cigarette.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Yes, and how many deaths will it take
'til he knows..

ORDERLY (O.S.)
That’s enough now.

A LARGE ORDERLY stands at the door. Bob stops playing.
Woody growls out an angry protest.

ORDERLY (CONT’D)
Mr. Guthrie needs quiet now.

BOB
Let me finish the song, man.

ORDERLY
There’s another gentleman in this room
-- and he’s trying to rest.

BOB
He’s been resting six months.

The orderly takes Woody’s cigarette. Woody erupts again.

ORDERLY
I am trying to look out for your
health, Mr. Guthrie.

BOB
The last guy let us sing.

ORDERLY
Do I look like the last guy?

PETE SEEGER stands in the door, a paper tucked under his arm.

PETE
Hello George.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 30.


ORDERLY
Mr. Guthrie is here for treatment, Mr.
Seeger. He has a serious disease! And
he is sharing his room with a guest.

BOB
A guest in a coma.

PETE
Bob.

ORDERLY
(exits)
This is a hospital not a night club.

PETE
George. Reasonable people can work
things out.

Pete turns toward Bob and Woody. Woody starts laughing and
Bob and Pete can’t help but smile.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary In Woody's hospital room, Bob passionately sings a heartfelt song, bringing a spark of life to Woody despite his illness. The moment is interrupted by an orderly demanding silence, leading to a tense confrontation with Bob. Pete Seeger arrives to mediate, advocating for understanding. Woody's laughter breaks the tension, and a shared smile between Bob and Pete highlights the power of music and friendship amidst the hospital's somber atmosphere.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Resilience theme
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, with a strong sense of defiance and compassion that resonates with the audience. The interaction between Bob, Woody, and Pete creates a poignant moment that showcases the characters' resilience and determination.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of resilience and defiance in the face of adversity is effectively portrayed in the scene, creating a powerful and emotional moment that resonates with the audience.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the emotional connection between the characters and their defiance in the face of authority, moving the story forward while highlighting key themes of resilience and compassion.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the clash between individual expression and institutional control within a hospital setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene are well-developed and portrayed with depth and authenticity. Their resilience and compassion shine through in their interactions, creating a compelling and emotional dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in their emotional states, particularly in their defiance and resilience. The interactions in the scene contribute to their growth and development, setting the stage for future arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of identity and autonomy despite being in a vulnerable and controlled environment. It reflects his need for self-expression and defiance against authority.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to finish singing his song and express himself creatively. It reflects his immediate challenge of asserting his autonomy and artistic freedom within the hospital setting.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters navigate their emotions and defiance in the face of authority. The tension between the characters and the orderly adds a layer of external conflict, enhancing the emotional impact.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the orderly representing institutional control and the protagonist's defiance adding conflict. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will resolve.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters confront authority and navigate their emotions in a challenging environment. The outcome of their defiance has significant implications for their relationships and future actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the emotional connections between the characters and highlighting key themes of resilience and compassion. It sets the stage for future developments and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between characters and the shifting power dynamics. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between individual expression and institutional control. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the importance of art and self-expression against the constraints of societal norms and regulations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and defiance. The moments of connection and compassion resonate deeply, creating a powerful and moving experience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and authentic, effectively conveying the emotions and motivations of the characters. The interactions feel genuine and contribute to the overall emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its sharp dialogue, tense interactions, and thematic depth. The conflict and character dynamics keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and drama, with a balance of dialogue and action. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Bob's performance for Woody, showcasing the bond between them through music. However, the dialogue with the orderly feels somewhat heavy-handed and could benefit from more subtlety. The conflict is clear, but the orderly's motivations could be fleshed out to make him a more sympathetic character rather than just an antagonist.
  • Woody's reaction to Bob's singing is a highlight, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his physical response to the music. For instance, instead of just having him laugh, perhaps include a moment where he taps his foot or nods his head, which would visually reinforce his engagement with the song.
  • The introduction of Pete Seeger is a nice touch, but his entrance feels abrupt. A brief moment of tension or a more gradual reveal could heighten the emotional stakes. Additionally, Pete's dialogue could be more impactful if it included a line that acknowledges the importance of the moment for both Bob and Woody.
  • The scene's pacing is slightly uneven. The transition from Bob's singing to the confrontation with the orderly could be smoother. Consider adding a moment of silence or a pause after Bob finishes a line, allowing the audience to absorb the emotional weight before the conflict arises.
  • The setting of the hospital room is effective, but it could be described in more detail to enhance the atmosphere. Adding sensory details, such as the sterile smell of the hospital or the dim lighting, would help immerse the audience in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving the orderly a more nuanced perspective, perhaps by including a line that reveals his concern for Woody's health rather than just enforcing rules. This could create a more complex dynamic.
  • Enhance Woody's engagement with Bob's music by incorporating more physical reactions, such as tapping his fingers or smiling, to visually convey his enjoyment.
  • Introduce Pete Seeger with a moment of tension or hesitation, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his presence before he intervenes in the conflict.
  • Smooth the transition between Bob's singing and the orderly's interruption by adding a brief moment of silence or reflection after Bob finishes a line, allowing the emotional impact to resonate.
  • Add more sensory details to the hospital setting to create a richer atmosphere, helping the audience feel the weight of the moment and the environment in which it takes place.



Scene 17 -  Unveiling Truths
34 EXT. BOB AND SYLVIE AT A CIVIL RIGHTS RALLY -- DAY 34

AN OLDER SPEAKER ON A PLATFORM rallies a large crowd.

SPEAKER
There’s more segregation in America
now than ever before. And we black
people continue to hope that an appeal
to our nation’s conscience be enough.
We say, please, let us help you see,
let us stimulate your conscience. Let
us help you to see the wrongs you have
committed. Once you see them, you will
surely change. But there has been no
change. The atrocities glare the
nation in the face and there is no
awakening. Perhaps because there is no
conscience. Perhaps racists have no
conscience. Why in the world does our
government only target prejudice and
disenfranchisement overseas? When will
American outrage be brought to bear
upon the sins within our borders, the
sins within our borders?!

As the crowd cheers, Bob looks at Sylvie who is riveted to
the stage. They hold hands. They are a couple now.

CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 31.

35 EXT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON -- SAME 35

Bob and Sylvie walk, holding groceries. As they approach an
apartment building, they come upon A MAILMAN on the stoop.

MAILMAN
Package for.. Zimmerman?

Sylvie looks at Bob, who blinks. Signs for the small box.
We hear the sound of party music as we--
CUT TO:
36 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- NIGHT 36

A CROWD OF YOUNG FOLK drinking, laughing and flirting in the
flat. Some ogle at Sylvie’s florid and impressive canvases.

A few guys around the turntable talk music, among them Bob
and Dave Van Ronk--

BOB
So which is it, Dave? Is Hank Williams
folk or Country?

YOUNG MUSICIAN
He’s Country. Country music.

BOB
Cause he got pedal steel behind him?

VON RONK
You’re splitting hairs. Call it
country, folk, blues or rock and roll,
we all keep rewriting the same songs.

ANGLE ON-- SYLVIE’S SISTER, GENA, as she crosses, grabbing a
fresh beer. She pauses by Bob’s desk. Her eyes fall on --

THE OPENED PACKAGE. Hometown Minnesota news clips inside.
And photos of Bob’s buddies back home.

GENA
So are these his friends from
his circus days?

SYLVIE
Stop it, Gena. Move along.

Gena reads the shipping label.

GENA
Is that his real name? Zimmerman?
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 32.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary At a civil rights rally, an impassioned speaker addresses the crowd about segregation and racism, while Bob and Sylvie, now a couple, share a moment of connection. After the rally, they return to Bob's apartment, where a lively gathering unfolds. However, tension arises when Gena, Sylvie's sister, discovers an opened package revealing Bob's past and questions his true identity, leaving an unresolved conflict about who Bob really is.
Strengths
  • Effective blending of social issues and personal relationships
  • Strong character development for Bob and Sylvie
  • Emotional resonance and impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of secondary characters
  • Potential for more nuanced conflict dynamics

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends the serious tone of the civil rights rally with the intimate moments between Bob and Sylvie, creating a compelling and emotionally resonant narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of juxtaposing the civil rights rally with the personal relationship development adds depth and complexity to the scene, highlighting the characters' multifaceted lives.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the characters' interactions at the rally and their evolving relationship, providing both external conflict and internal growth for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on civil rights issues and personal connections, blending social commentary with intimate character dynamics. The dialogue feels authentic and resonant, capturing the complexities of human emotions and societal challenges.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob and Sylvie are well-developed, with their individual personalities and the progression of their romantic connection adding depth and emotional resonance to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Sylvie experience personal growth and a deepening of their relationship during the scene, setting the stage for further development in their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to show solidarity with Sylvie and support her beliefs and values regarding civil rights and social justice. This reflects his deeper desire to connect with Sylvie on a deeper level and align himself with her principles.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to navigate his relationship with Sylvie and integrate into her social circle. This reflects the immediate challenge of fitting in and being accepted by Sylvie's friends and family.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene primarily stems from the societal issues raised at the rally, with internal conflicts within the characters adding depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and values challenging the protagonist's worldview and relationships. The uncertainty and tension create a sense of unpredictability and conflict.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate in this scene, with a focus on personal relationships and social justice issues rather than life-threatening situations, adding depth to the characters' experiences.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by advancing the characters' relationships and highlighting their involvement in social issues, setting the stage for future developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue and character dynamics. The philosophical conflict adds layers of complexity and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of conscience and moral responsibility. The speaker questions the existence of conscience in the face of ongoing injustices, challenging the protagonist's beliefs about the power of awareness and change.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, blending the seriousness of the civil rights rally with the tender moments between Bob and Sylvie, evoking a range of emotions from the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' thoughts and emotions, capturing the seriousness of the civil rights issues and the intimacy of Bob and Sylvie's interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its compelling dialogue, emotional depth, and social relevance. The characters' interactions and the societal backdrop create a sense of urgency and tension that draws the audience in.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and reflection, allowing the audience to absorb the emotional and thematic content. The rhythm enhances the impact of the dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The formatting enhances the readability and visual impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the themes and conflicts at play. The pacing and rhythm enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and emotional weight of the civil rights movement, using the speaker's passionate rhetoric to engage the audience. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity and vivid imagery to enhance the emotional impact. The speaker's words are powerful, but they could be made even more evocative by incorporating personal anecdotes or specific examples of the injustices being addressed.
  • The transition from the rally to the apartment feels abrupt. While it serves to show the progression of Bob and Sylvie's relationship, the shift could be smoother. Consider adding a brief moment that connects the rally's themes to their personal lives, perhaps through a shared reflection or a comment that ties the social issues to their relationship.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Sylvie is minimal, which is appropriate given the context, but it might be beneficial to include a line or two that reflects their thoughts on the rally. This could deepen their characters and provide insight into how the events around them are affecting their relationship.
  • The introduction of the mailman is a nice touch, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding rally scene. It might be more effective to integrate the mailman’s presence into the rally scene, perhaps by having him participate in the rally or comment on it, which would create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • The scene ends with a hint of curiosity about Bob's real name, which is intriguing but could be expanded upon. This moment could serve as a catalyst for a deeper conversation between Bob and Sylvie about identity and the pressures of fame, linking back to the themes of the rally.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the speaker's dialogue with more vivid imagery and personal anecdotes to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Smooth the transition between the rally and the apartment by adding a reflective moment for Bob and Sylvie that ties the rally's themes to their personal lives.
  • Include a line or two of dialogue between Bob and Sylvie that expresses their thoughts on the rally, deepening their characters and relationship.
  • Consider integrating the mailman into the rally scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow and emphasize the community aspect of the event.
  • Expand on the moment regarding Bob's real name to spark a deeper conversation about identity and the pressures of fame, linking it back to the themes of the rally.



Scene 18 -  Fractured Connections
37 INT. BOB'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT -- LATE 37

Party over, the place is a mess. The only sound, the plucking
of muted strings. SYLVIE lies in bed, her eyes fixed upon --

BOB, his back to Sylvie. He fingers his guitar along with a
Leadbelly album spinning on the turntable.

CUT TO:
38 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- DAWN -- NEXT MORNING 38

The groan of garbage trucks. The needle clicks at the end of
a record. Bob feverishly writes. Sings to himself..

BOB SINGS
..I saw a newborn baby with wild
wolves all around it. I saw a highway
of diamonds with nobody on it.

SYLVIE
..You need to sleep, babe.

Bob looks up at Sylvie, then back to his work.

CUT TO:
39 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- DAY -- LATE SUMMER 39

Johnny Cash sings “Folsom Prison Blues”.

Leaves have turned outside the window. Picking up a SET OF AL
ITALIA TICKETS on the kitchen table. SYLVIE criss-crosses the
apartment, packing.

BOB sits in boxers on the bed, watching her ruefully.
Then he turns back to the TV as--

JOHNNY CASH AND HIS BAND finish singing “Folsom” and the host
(JIMMY DEAN) steps in as the audience applauds:

HOST
..Johnny Cash started in Country and
made the jump to Pop!

BOB
..That ain’t Pop, Jimmy. Labels,
categories, bullshit.

HOST
Johnny, can you introduce us to the
Tennessee Two?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 33.


JOHNNY CASH
It’s the Tennessee Three now, Jimmy.
‘With me nine years. Ever since I got
into this racket.. I mean business.

Bob chuckles. Sylvie looks at her watch and snaps off the
television. Bob turns to the window. Sylvie grabs her
passport from the mess of Bob’s scrawlings scattered
everywhere. She pulls a slip of paper, reads it.

SYLVIE
Please remember garbage on Tuesdays.
Except if Monday’s a holiday, which it
will be next week.

BOB
Got it.

SYLVIE
I have to go.

BOB
Right.

SYLVIE
It’s only twelve weeks. I have to do
this, Bob. It’s a school trip.

BOB
You said all that.

Sylvie looks at Bob.

SYLVIE
I think about how much I’m gonna miss
you. Then I realize I don’t know you.

Bob sighs. Fixes a look at her.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
..There’s a face on your driver’s
license. He’s different. Has a
different name. When I get back, I’d
like to get to know that guy.

BOB
Don’t do this.

Bob lunges off the bed, taking his coffee cup to the sink.

SYLVIE
You wrote a five minute song about
some girl in Minneapolis.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 34.
SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Who was that? What happened? You tell
me you dropped out of college but I --

BOB
I didn’t “drop out” of college.

SYLVIE
You came here a year and a half ago
with nothing but a guitar. You never
talk about your family, your past,
besides the “carnival”.

BOB
People make up their past. Remember
what they want, forget the rest.

SYLVIE
I’ve told you everything-- my folks,
my sister, the street I grew up on.

BOB
I never asked about any of it! You
think that stuff defines you?

SYLVIE
What I come from, what I want and what
I don’t, what I reject. Yes!

BOB
Good thing you’re going to Rome.

SYLVIE
And then what? I come back and live
with a mysterious minstrel?

BOB
Mysterious minstrels sell records.
Maybe don’t come back at all.

A toot. Out the window, a cab. Sylvie grabs her bags and
drags them to the door. Bob suddenly softens, crosses.

BOB (CONT’D)
Sylvie..

SYLVIE
Stop hiding. We both know you can’t
wait to have this place to yourself.

BOB
Part of me. Not all of me.
(off her look)
You want me to make sense a hundred
percent of the time?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 35.


SYLVIE
There’s a lot I want. And you do too.
You’re ambitious, Bob. And I think
that scares you.

Sylvie looks at the slip of paper in her hand.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
The line has been drawn. The curse has
been cast. The slow ones now will later be
fast. As the present now will later be--

He snatches it. She drags her bags into the hall and away.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Your record was all other people’s
music. Sing more of yours.

She closes the door. Off Bob, we hear radio news about
escalating tensions between the USSR and USA over Cuba.

AND WE CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a cluttered apartment, Bob plays guitar as dawn breaks, while Sylvie, still in bed, urges him to rest. The scene shifts to late summer, where Sylvie packs for a school trip to Italy, revealing tension in their relationship. Sylvie expresses her desire to understand Bob better, but he deflects, leading to a confrontation about their ambitions and emotional distance. Ultimately, Sylvie decides to leave, and Bob is left frustrated and alone, listening to news of escalating global tensions.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Intimate portrayal of relationships
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth of the characters and sets up a poignant moment of departure, showcasing the complexities of their relationship and Bob's internal struggles.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the emotional turmoil of a relationship during a moment of departure is effectively realized, adding depth to the characters and advancing the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around Sylvie's departure and the emotional impact it has on Bob, setting up potential character development and future conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh approaches to themes of identity, past experiences, and emotional vulnerability. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves deep into the characters of Bob and Sylvie, revealing their vulnerabilities, fears, and desires, creating a rich and compelling portrayal of their relationship.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Sylvie undergo subtle changes in their emotional states and perceptions of each other, setting the stage for potential growth and development in their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of identity and independence while facing Sylvie's departure. He struggles with revealing his past and emotions, reflecting his fear of vulnerability and intimacy.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to cope with Sylvie leaving for a school trip and to maintain his composure in the face of her questioning his past and emotions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the emotional struggles and uncertainties of the characters as they confront their differences and fears.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Sylvie challenging Bob's sense of identity and emotional walls. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their conflict.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional, focusing on the potential impact of Sylvie's departure on Bob and their relationship, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the emotional dynamics between Bob and Sylvie, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions that could impact the narrative trajectory.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the emotional twists and turns in the characters' interactions. The audience is kept on edge by the shifting dynamics and revelations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of identity, past experiences, and emotional vulnerability. Sylvie challenges Bob to confront his past and emotions, while Bob struggles to maintain his sense of independence and mystery.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, capturing the poignant moment of departure and the complexities of human relationships with depth and authenticity.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional tension between Bob and Sylvie, revealing their inner thoughts and conflicts with authenticity and depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intimate character dynamics, emotional tension, and subtle conflicts. The audience is drawn into the personal struggles of the characters and their relationship.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of emotional tension to build and unfold naturally. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting. The visual elements are effectively conveyed.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different time periods and locations. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their differing perspectives on identity and ambition. However, the dialogue can feel a bit on-the-nose at times, particularly when Sylvie states, 'I think about how much I’m gonna miss you. Then I realize I don’t know you.' This line, while poignant, could be more subtly conveyed through actions or less explicit dialogue to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The pacing of the scene is somewhat uneven. The transition from the intimate moment of packing to the argument feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the emotional flow and build tension more gradually.
  • Bob's character comes across as defensive and evasive, which is effective in portraying his struggle with vulnerability. However, it might be beneficial to include a moment where he shows a hint of his own fears or insecurities, allowing the audience to empathize with him more deeply.
  • The use of the television as a backdrop with Johnny Cash's performance is a clever way to juxtapose Bob's internal conflict with the external world. However, the dialogue could more explicitly connect the themes of the show with Bob's situation, reinforcing the idea of identity and public persona versus private self.
  • The ending, with the radio news about escalating tensions, serves as a strong thematic contrast to the personal conflict. However, it could be more impactful if the news report subtly mirrored the emotional turmoil in Bob's life, perhaps by mentioning themes of change or uncertainty.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising some of the dialogue to be more implicit, allowing the audience to infer the deeper meanings behind the characters' words. This can create a more engaging and layered interaction.
  • Introduce a brief moment of silence or reflection between the heated exchanges to allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight of the conversation. This can enhance the tension and make the eventual resolution more poignant.
  • Incorporate a visual element that symbolizes Bob's internal struggle, such as a close-up of his guitar or the mess in the apartment, to reinforce the chaos in his life and mind.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a flashback or a brief memory that Bob has while Sylvie is packing, which could provide context for his reluctance to share his past and deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
  • Strengthen the connection between the television broadcast and Bob's personal conflict by having Bob react to specific lines from Johnny Cash's interview that resonate with his own fears or aspirations, creating a more cohesive thematic link.



Scene 19 -  Harmony in the Struggle
40 EXT. A SMALL SOUTHERN CHURCH -- DAY 40

Pete’s car pulls up to a dilapidated small church. We hear
the chant of protestors as Pete, Alan Lomax, and A FREEDOM
SINGERS ORGANIZER (CORDELL) emerge.

Two Georgia State Police cars and several officers who have
formed a perimeter around the church.

Beyond the cops, a crowd of whites : men, women and children,
stand at a barricade, holding placards : CLOSE MIXED
SCHOOLS!! WHITE MAKES RIGHT!

AN OLD BLACK PASTOR and an older lady wait to receive Pete,
Alan, and Cordell on a rear porch. We hear singing inside..

CORDELL
Pastor, this is Pete Seeger.

PASTOR
Very glad to meet you! Welcome to
Georgia!

PETE
I as well, sir. And this is my old
friend Alan Lomax. We’ve known each
other since 1938! Worked in the
Library of Congress together.

PASTOR
Welcome Alan!
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 36.

41 INT. ALBANY, GEORGIA -- SMALL SOUTHERN CHURCH -- DAY 41

GIRL & CONGREGATION
We been 'buked! And we been scorned!
Tryin' to make this journey all alone!

The Pastor leads Pete, Alan, and Cordell into the church. A
screen door is coming off its hinges.

PASTOR
This was our first church. We built a
bigger one close to town but somebody
burnt it down last month.

A TEENAGE GIRL LEADS A SPIRITUAL and the congregation
responds with powerful callbacks.

GIRL & CONGREGATION
You may talk ‘bout me, sure as you
please. Your talk will never drive me
down to my knees!

CLOSE ON -- PETE. The passionate harmonies move him. He feels
wowed and a bit dwarfed by these folks.

Alan Lomax looks at bullet holes in a window, the rabid white
protestors on the other side.

PASTOR
Alan. I’d appreciate it if you stayed
clear of that window.

CUT TO:
42 MOMENTS LATER -- THE PASTOR SPEAKS FROM THE ALTAR. 42

PASTOR
--Mr. Pete Seeger has traveled many
miles to join us in our struggle. He’s
playing Carnegie Hall next month, but
this week, he’s blessing our little
old church.

The congregation applauds politely, looking Pete over.

PETE
Thank you, Pastor. I sure do
appreciate those beautiful harmonies
you sang. They humble me. I feel like
I’m bringing coal to Newcastle.

Seeger starts to play beneath his patter.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 37.


PETE (CONT’D)
I like to think I’m not just a
musician but a historian, a musical
archeologist. A song may seem a
toothless defense against a man with a
shotgun but I’d say history disagrees.

PARISHIONER
(to the Pastor)
Why we listening to white music?

PASTOR
His heart’s in the right place.

PETE
(starts to sing)
If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the
morning. I’d hammer in the evening all
over this land.

The congregation seems ambivalent but Pete perseveres.
Playing with conviction.

PETE (CONT’D)
I’d hammer out danger. I’d hammer out
warning. I’d hammer out love between
my brothers and my sisters. All over
this land.

The Pastor starts to clap with the song. The congregation
joins in, hesitant at first. Pete looks at Alan, then to --

THE PIANO PLAYER, who rolls in. Soon, as Pete reaches the
next chorus, the whole of the church is singing with him.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary In a small, dilapidated church in Georgia, Pete Seeger, accompanied by Alan Lomax and Cordell, faces initial skepticism from a Black congregation led by an old pastor. After sharing the church's struggles, including a recent fire, Pete humbly introduces his music. Despite a parishioner's concern about 'white music,' the pastor defends him, and as Pete begins to sing 'If I Had a Hammer,' the congregation gradually joins in, transforming the moment into a powerful expression of unity and hope amidst racial tension.
Strengths
  • Powerful musical performances
  • Emotional resonance
  • Unity theme
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of individual character arcs

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively conveys a powerful message through music, capturing the essence of unity and strength in the face of opposition. The emotional impact and thematic depth elevate the scene's overall quality.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of using music as a tool for unity and empowerment in the face of adversity is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the importance of coming together through shared experiences.

Plot: 8.4

The plot progression in the scene is focused on showcasing the impact of music on the characters and the community. It effectively moves the story forward while highlighting key themes of unity and resilience.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the civil rights movement by focusing on the role of music in inspiring change and promoting unity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.3

The characters in the scene are well-developed, each contributing to the overall theme of unity and resilience. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience a subtle transformation through their shared musical experience, leading to a deeper connection and understanding of each other.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with the congregation through music and show solidarity in the face of racial discrimination. This reflects his deeper desire for unity and understanding among people of different backgrounds.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to support the civil rights movement and use his music to inspire and uplift the congregation. This reflects the immediate challenge of racial tension and violence in the community.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

While there is tension between the characters and the opposing forces outside the church, the overall conflict is resolved through the power of music and unity.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the presence of racist protestors outside the church and the internal conflict within the congregation about the protagonist's music.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are high in terms of racial tension and opposition, the characters overcome these challenges through unity and music, reducing the immediate threat.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by highlighting the impact of music on the characters and the community. It sets the stage for further development and exploration of key themes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the uncertain reaction of the congregation to the protagonist's music and the potential for conflict with the white protestors outside.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident between the racist white protestors outside the church and the message of unity and love preached by the protagonist through his music. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the power of music to bridge divides and promote social change.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of hope, resilience, and empowerment through the characters' performances and interactions. It leaves a lasting impression on the audience.

Dialogue: 8.2

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, conveying the emotions and motivations of the characters effectively. It enhances the themes of unity and empowerment through music.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it captures the emotional intensity of the civil rights movement and the power of music to inspire change. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a climactic moment where the congregation joins in singing with the protagonist.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a stark contrast between the peaceful gathering inside the church and the hostile environment outside, which heightens the tension and stakes. However, the transition from the previous scene to this one could be smoother. The abrupt shift from Bob's personal turmoil to a civil rights rally may leave the audience disoriented. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue connecting Bob's emotional state to the broader social issues could enhance the narrative flow.
  • The dialogue is authentic and captures the historical context well, particularly in the interactions between Pete, Alan, and the pastor. However, some lines could benefit from more subtext. For instance, when the parishioner questions why they are listening to 'white music,' it could be an opportunity to explore deeper themes of cultural appropriation and solidarity. This would add layers to the characters' motivations and the audience's understanding of the complexities of the civil rights movement.
  • The emotional arc of the scene is compelling, particularly as Pete begins to win over the congregation with his music. However, the initial ambivalence of the congregation could be more pronounced. Showing a few more skeptical reactions or whispers among the congregation before they join in would create a more dynamic shift from hesitation to unity, emphasizing the power of music as a tool for connection and healing.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the description of the church and the protestors outside. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further. Describing the sounds of the protestors, the atmosphere inside the church, and the physical sensations of the characters (e.g., the heat, the tension in the air) would enhance the scene's impact.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, especially during the transition from the pastor's introduction to Pete's performance. Allowing more time for the congregation's initial reactions and for Pete to establish a rapport with them would create a more powerful buildup to the moment when they finally join in singing.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Bob before transitioning to the church scene, perhaps showing him listening to the news or contemplating the civil rights movement, to create a thematic link between his personal struggles and the larger societal issues.
  • Enhance the dialogue by incorporating more subtext, particularly in the interactions regarding the appropriateness of Pete's music. This could involve deeper discussions about cultural identity and the role of music in social movements.
  • Show more of the congregation's initial skepticism before they join in singing. This could involve a few lines of dialogue or reactions that highlight their ambivalence, making their eventual participation feel more earned and impactful.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene. Describe the sounds, smells, and physical sensations to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Slow down the pacing during the transition from the pastor's introduction to Pete's performance. Allow for more buildup and interaction between Pete and the congregation to heighten the emotional stakes of the moment.



Scene 20 -  Voices of Resistance
43 INT. VILLAGE COFFEE HOUSE -- DAY 43

JOAN nurses a coffee opposite A REPORTER in a sport-coat. He
scribbles notes as she speaks, carefully :

JOAN
..I write, too. “Banks of the Ohio”
is.. Anyway, I just think there’s
something rewarding about singing old
songs, keeping them alive.

REPORTER
Repackaging them for a new generation?

JOAN
I didn’t say that.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 38.


Joan looks to HER MANAGER, AN OLDER GENTLEMEN, who sits at
the counter, watching the interview. TWO PASSING YOUNG WOMEN,
smartly dressed, hair teased, stop by the table.

YOUNG WOMAN
Sorry to interrupt, Joan. But we just
wanted to tell you we love your music!

JOAN
Oh. Thank you!

REPORTER
Do you think part of your success
is that you’re putting a pretty face
on folk?

JOAN
No.

REPORTER
..Many people in the folk movement
here in the village seem to share--

JOAN
I live on the west coast.

REPORTER
Regardless, some people think you
share a fairly simplistic point of
view, politically, that is.

JOAN
That it’s wrong to oppress blacks?
That women should be free. That war
has become a business?
(stands)
Excuse me a moment, Gary.

As she crosses to the restroom, she pauses by HER MANAGER.

JOAN (CONT’D)
..What the fuck.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a village coffee house, Joan passionately discusses her commitment to preserving old songs during an interview with a challenging reporter. As tensions rise over her political views, two young women interrupt to praise her music, providing a brief moment of positivity. Frustrated by the reporter's probing questions, Joan ultimately excuses herself to the restroom, expressing her irritation to her manager.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively portrays Joan Baez's resilience and determination in defending her artistic choices and political views, creating a compelling and engaging narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Joan Baez's unwavering commitment to her art and beliefs, highlighting the challenges she faces in a male-dominated industry and society.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene centers on Joan Baez's confrontation with a reporter, showcasing her resilience and determination in the face of criticism and scrutiny.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the clash between artistic integrity and commercial success. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to life.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Joan Baez, are well-developed and portrayed with depth and authenticity, allowing the audience to connect with their struggles and triumphs.

Character Changes: 8

Joan Baez undergoes a subtle but significant change in her resolve and determination, solidifying her commitment to her art and beliefs.

Internal Goal: 8

Joan's internal goal is to assert her authenticity and values in the face of the reporter's questioning. She wants to defend her beliefs and identity as a folk singer.

External Goal: 7

Joan's external goal is to navigate the interview and maintain her public image while staying true to her beliefs.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Joan Baez and the reporter, as well as societal expectations, adds depth and tension to the scene, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge Joan's beliefs and values, creating a compelling conflict for the audience.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Joan Baez, as she risks her reputation and career by standing up for her beliefs and values in a hostile environment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by showcasing Joan Baez's growth and development as a character, setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turns in the conversation and the shifting power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Joan's genuine passion for folk music and the reporter's attempt to frame her as a commercialized, superficial artist. This challenges Joan's values and integrity as a musician.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, as they witness Joan Baez's courage and resilience in the face of criticism and scrutiny.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, poignant, and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations, enhancing the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and the underlying tension between the characters. The conflict keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of tension and reflection. It keeps the audience engaged without feeling rushed.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to standard screenplay formatting, making it easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional interview format but subverts expectations by delving into deeper themes and conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Joan's passion for folk music and her commitment to social issues, but it feels somewhat disjointed due to the abrupt transitions between dialogue and actions. The dialogue could benefit from smoother transitions to enhance the flow of the conversation.
  • Joan's character is portrayed as strong and assertive, particularly in her responses to the reporter's questions. However, the scene could delve deeper into her internal conflict regarding her public persona versus her artistic integrity. This would add depth to her character and make her more relatable.
  • The reporter's character comes off as somewhat one-dimensional, primarily serving as a vehicle for conflict. Adding more nuance to his character could create a more engaging dynamic between him and Joan. For instance, he could express some admiration for her work, which would complicate their interaction.
  • The introduction of the two young women who compliment Joan feels a bit forced and could be better integrated into the scene. Their presence could serve as a contrast to the reporter's skepticism, but as it stands, it feels like an interruption rather than a meaningful addition.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the tension between Joan's ideals and the reporter's skepticism, but it could benefit from more subtext. For example, Joan could use metaphors or anecdotes that illustrate her points about folk music and its significance, rather than just stating her beliefs outright.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Joan after the young women compliment her, allowing her to process the mixed reactions she receives from the public. This could deepen her character and provide insight into her emotional state.
  • Enhance the reporter's character by giving him a more complex perspective on folk music. Perhaps he could express some admiration for Joan's work while still challenging her views, creating a more dynamic conversation.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or reactions from Joan during the interview to convey her emotional state. For example, she could fidget with her coffee cup or glance at her manager for support, which would add layers to her character.
  • Consider revising the dialogue to include more subtext and metaphorical language. This would allow Joan to express her beliefs in a more nuanced way, making her arguments more compelling and relatable.
  • To improve the pacing, consider breaking up the dialogue with brief moments of silence or reflection, allowing the audience to absorb the weight of the conversation and the tension between the characters.



Scene 21 -  Tension in the Night
44 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- NIGHT -- SAME 44

Bob sits on the bed, smoking, guitar in his hand. He has been
feverishly writing but now as the fog lifts, he notices
President Kennedy on the television, giving an address.

PRESIDENT KENNEDY ON TV
--All ships bound for Cuba will, if
found to contain cargoes of offensive
weapons, be turned back.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 39.


Bob crosses and turns the volume up. He notices out the
window, all the neighbors are listening to Kennedy as well.

PRESIDENT KENNEDY ON TV (CONT’D)
--any missile launched from Cuba will
be seen as an attack on the United
States. One requiring a full response.
CUT TO:
45 EXT. SEEGER HOUSE -- NIGHT -- SAME 45

As Pete and Toshi unload the car, A BABYSITTER rushes out of
the house and climbs into her VW.

TOSHI
Tammy..

The babysitter drives off and Toshi looks to Pete then heads
inside and we hear one of the kids telling her “Mom, there’s
a war starting.” ..Toshi reappears in the front door.

TOSHI (CONT’D)
Pete. Come inside.
CUT TO:
46A INT. SEEGER HOUSE -- NIGHT 46A

Pete sits in the living room with Toshi and the kids watching
the television. Toshi takes Pete's hand.

NEWS ANCHOR
The White House has made it clear to
the Kremlin that time is running out.
They want an answer.

PETE
Kennedy is gonna get us all killed.
CUT TO:
46 INT. CHELSEA HOTEL ROOM -- NIGHT 46

Joan sits in the corner of her hotel room. The news about the
nuclear stand-off plays in bg. She holds a phone in her hand
that just rings.

CRONKITE ON TV
Suddenly, it is very important to have
adequate supplies in every home.

She hangs up and stares at -- AN OIL PAINTING OF HERSELF on
the cover of A TIME MAGAZINE lying on the floor. She throws
the magazine across the room.

CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 40.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As President Kennedy addresses the nation about the Cuban missile crisis, Bob sits in his apartment, distracted from his songwriting by the urgent news. Meanwhile, Toshi and Pete, at the Seeger house, express their fears about the escalating situation while watching the news with the children. In a hotel room, Joan feels isolated and frustrated, culminating in her throwing a magazine featuring herself across the room. The scene captures the anxiety and uncertainty of the characters amidst a looming threat of nuclear war.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and fear
  • Compelling character reactions
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in some areas
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the mounting tension and fear surrounding the Cuban Missile Crisis, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional turmoil.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the Cuban Missile Crisis through the lens of different characters' experiences is compelling and adds depth to the historical context of the scene.

Plot: 8.5

The plot effectively weaves together the characters' reactions to the Cuban Missile Crisis, driving the narrative forward and building tension.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of nuclear war, focusing on the personal reactions and internal struggles of the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to the crisis are well-developed and provide insight into their fears and frustrations, enhancing the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience heightened anxiety and defiance in response to the escalating tensions, showcasing their evolving emotional states.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to process the news of the nuclear stand-off and understand its implications on his life and the world around him. This reflects his deeper need for security and stability in a time of crisis.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to come to terms with the reality of the situation and decide how to respond to the impending war. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the form of a global crisis.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from the characters' internal struggles and external threats, creating a sense of urgency and tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and values.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the Cuban Missile Crisis heighten the tension and create a sense of urgency and danger for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the characters' emotional arcs and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected reactions and emotional twists in response to the crisis, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between the desire for peace and the reality of war. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the value of human life and the consequences of political decisions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, capturing the characters' fears and frustrations in the face of a looming crisis.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' anxieties and frustrations, adding depth to their emotional states.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the characters' emotional turmoil and creates a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' emotional journeys.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre and enhancing the readability of the script.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and developing the characters' emotional arcs.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension of the Cuban missile crisis, using the television broadcasts to create a sense of urgency and fear. However, the transitions between the different locations (Bob's apartment, Seeger house, and Chelsea hotel) could be smoother. The abrupt cuts may disorient the audience and detract from the emotional weight of the moment.
  • The dialogue from President Kennedy is impactful, but it might benefit from a more personal touch. Instead of just hearing the news, consider showing Bob's internal reaction to the speech. This could deepen the audience's connection to his character and the gravity of the situation.
  • The juxtaposition of Bob's creative process with the looming threat of war is compelling, but the scene could explore Bob's emotional state more explicitly. How does the news affect his songwriting? Is he inspired, paralyzed, or angry? Adding a moment of reflection could enhance the scene's emotional depth.
  • The use of the babysitter rushing out and the children's comments at the Seeger house adds a layer of realism, but it feels somewhat disconnected from Bob's storyline. Consider integrating these elements more cohesively, perhaps by having Bob overhear the children's conversation or by showing how the news impacts his immediate environment.
  • Joan's reaction to the news is powerful, but the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. Instead of just showing her throwing the magazine, consider using close-ups or framing that highlights her emotional turmoil. This would create a stronger visual impact and convey her frustration more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Bob reacts to Kennedy's speech, either through a facial expression or a brief internal monologue, to provide insight into his emotional state.
  • Smooth out the transitions between locations by using a common thread, such as a shared sound or visual motif, to connect the scenes and maintain the tension throughout.
  • Explore Bob's creative process in relation to the news. Perhaps he starts writing lyrics that reflect his feelings about the crisis, which could serve as a narrative device to show his internal conflict.
  • Integrate the children's comments at the Seeger house more closely with Bob's storyline, possibly by having him overhear them or by showing how the news affects the atmosphere in his apartment.
  • Enhance Joan's emotional reaction with more visual storytelling techniques, such as close-ups or framing that emphasizes her isolation and frustration, to create a more impactful moment.



Scene 22 -  Amidst the Chaos
47 INT./EXT. DINER -- NIGHT 47

Bob steps from the desolate street into a near empty diner.
At the counter, THE COOK AND A FEW CUSTOMERS are glued to the
television watching Cronkite on the TV.

A waitress comes out a basement door with a ‘Fallout shelter’
sign above it.

WAITRESS
It’s a shelter, Lenny! It’s packed
with canned corn down there.

COOK
We won’t starve.

CRONKITE ON TV
Anti-aircraft missiles are on five
minute alert. All U.S. air defense is
currently airborne.

BOB
Hey. Can I get a cup of coffee?

COOK
Get it yourself.

Bob reacts. Steps behind the counter, pours himself a cup. He
watches the tv and takes a pencil, scrawling on a placemat.

CUT TO:
48 EXT. VILLAGE STREET -- NIGHT -- SAME 48

JOAN drags her bag down the eerie empty streets, trying to
find a cab. She passes a family running with their bags to a
car. A man shouts into a payphone.

MAN
..Susan! I’m trying to get out of
here! Stay calm.
(to family at car)
Hey, hey, where you headed?
Can I get a lift?

The family pulls away. Joan walks on.. finds herself standing
on MACDOUGAL STREET. Dead quiet. Then she hears a familiar
amplified voice.

CUT TO:
49 INT. THE GASLIGHT -- NIGHT -- SAME 49

Joan steps into the club with her bag, coming upon --
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 41.


BOB, in a spotlight, playing. The place is packed with ashen
people who had nowhere else to go. All are rapt as Bob plays
and sings lyrics from the scrawled-over diner placemat.

BOB SINGS
..Like Judas of old, you lie and
deceive. A world war can be won, you
want me to believe. But I see through
your eyes And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water that runs
down my drain. You fasten all triggers
for the others to fire. Then you sit
back and watch. When the death count
gets higher. You might say I'm young.
You might say unlearned. But there's
one thing I know though I'm younger
than you. Even Jesus would never
forgive what you do. Let me ask you
one question. Is your money that good?
Will it buy you forgive-ness? Do you
think that it could? I think you will
find. When your death takes its toll.
All the money you made will never buy
back your soul. ..And I hope that you
die. And your death will come soon.
I'll follow your casket. By the pale
afternoon. And I'll watch while you're
lowered. Down to your death-bed. And
I'll stand over your grave. 'Till I'm
sure that you're dead.

He stops. Stunned silence. Then, applause. Bob stands. Folds
the placemat and puts it with his guitar in the case.

BOB
Thanks. Find someone to love.

As he moves to the door, Bob passes Joan and stops. Looks at
her. Tears fill her eyes. Bob takes her hand and pulls her
toward the door, then turns --

-- and KISSES HER. Hard.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a nearly empty diner, Bob pours himself coffee while the cook and customers anxiously watch the news about anti-aircraft missiles. The waitress mentions a fallout shelter, highlighting the tense atmosphere. Meanwhile, Joan wanders the streets, witnessing a family hurriedly leaving before arriving at The Gaslight, where Bob performs a poignant song about betrayal and mortality. After his performance, they share an emotional moment and a kiss, providing a brief respite from the surrounding chaos.
Strengths
  • Powerful protest song performance
  • Emotional connection between characters
  • Impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively static setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, showcasing intense emotions, powerful dialogue, and significant character development. The protest song performed by Bob adds depth and meaning to the scene, resonating with the audience and highlighting the themes of defiance and passion.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on a protest song performed by Bob in a desolate diner, is compelling and effectively conveys themes of defiance, disillusionment, and emotional connection. The scene's concept is executed with depth and authenticity.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob's performance of a protest song and the emotional connection between characters, driving the narrative forward and adding depth to the story. The scene effectively advances the plot and develops key themes.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the post-apocalyptic genre by focusing on the emotional and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene, particularly Bob and Joan, are well-developed and showcase emotional depth and complexity. Bob's passionate performance and Joan's emotional reaction add layers to their characters, making them relatable and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Joan undergo emotional changes in the scene, with Bob expressing his anger and disillusionment through his protest song, and Joan experiencing a moment of emotional connection and vulnerability. These character changes add depth and complexity to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find a sense of connection and purpose amidst the chaos and uncertainty of the world. His actions and lyrics reflect his deeper desire for justice and redemption.

External Goal: 7.5

Bob's external goal is to perform and connect with the audience through his music. It reflects his immediate circumstances of seeking solace and expression in a world on the brink of destruction.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene features a high level of internal and external conflict, as Bob expresses his anger and disillusionment through his protest song, while Joan grapples with her emotions and the tense atmosphere of the diner. The conflict drives the emotional intensity of the scene.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult choices and moral dilemmas that challenge their beliefs and values, creating suspense and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The scene features high stakes as Bob performs a protest song expressing his anger and disillusionment, risking backlash and consequences for his actions. The emotional connection between characters adds personal stakes to the scene, heightening the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing key character developments, advancing thematic elements, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. The protest song performance adds depth to the narrative and propels the story in a meaningful direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists and emotional revelations that challenge the audience's expectations and assumptions about the characters and the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of justice, forgiveness, and redemption. Bob's lyrics challenge the corrupt power structures and call for accountability and moral reckoning.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of defiance, sadness, and passion in the audience. Bob's powerful protest song and the emotional connection between characters create a deeply moving and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is powerful and impactful, especially during Bob's protest song performance. The dialogue effectively conveys emotions, themes, and character dynamics, adding depth and authenticity to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it effectively conveys the emotional depth and moral complexity of the characters, drawing the audience into the bleak and chaotic world of the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance by balancing moments of quiet reflection with intense emotional and dramatic peaks, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear and concise descriptions of the setting, characters, and dialogue that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance by transitioning between different locations and characters, creating a sense of interconnectedness and thematic depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension of the political climate through the juxtaposition of Bob's mundane actions in the diner and the urgent news report on the television. This contrast enhances the emotional weight of the moment, reflecting the anxiety of the era.
  • Bob's interaction with the cook and the waitress establishes a sense of isolation and disconnection from the world around him. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic; the cook's response to Bob's request for coffee feels somewhat flat and could benefit from more personality or humor to lighten the tension.
  • The transition from the diner to Joan wandering the empty streets is well-executed, creating a sense of parallel experiences between the two characters. However, the description of Joan's actions could be more vivid to evoke her emotional state more clearly. The phrase 'eerie empty streets' is effective, but expanding on her feelings of loneliness or urgency could deepen the audience's connection to her.
  • Bob's performance at The Gaslight is powerful, and the lyrics he sings are impactful, reflecting themes of betrayal and mortality. However, the scene could benefit from a brief moment of internal reflection from Bob before he begins to play, allowing the audience to see his emotional state and the weight of the song he is about to perform.
  • The ending of the scene, where Bob kisses Joan, is a strong emotional beat. However, it might feel more earned if there were a moment of hesitation or conflict before the kiss, emphasizing the complexity of their relationship and the circumstances surrounding them.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more personality to the cook's dialogue to make the diner scene feel more lively and engaging. Perhaps he could share a humorous or cynical remark about the news to lighten the mood.
  • Enhance Joan's emotional journey as she walks through the empty streets by incorporating her thoughts or feelings about the situation, making her experience more relatable and poignant.
  • Include a brief moment of introspection for Bob before he performs, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional state and the significance of the song he is about to sing.
  • Explore the tension between Bob and Joan before the kiss, perhaps by having them exchange a few words that reveal their feelings or uncertainties, making the moment feel more impactful.
  • Consider using more visual imagery to describe the atmosphere of The Gaslight during Bob's performance, such as the expressions of the audience or the ambiance of the club, to create a more immersive experience.



Scene 23 -  Morning Melodies
50 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- DAWN 50

Joan and Bob wake amid a tangle of sheets. Meet eyes. Joan
sits up and looks out the window.

The street is alive with pedestrians. Garbage trucks. The
Indian man on the corner squats on his blanket banging his
tambourine. The world still spinning.

Joan crosses and turns on the TV.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 42.


NEWSCASTER ON TV
And so it seems, the world no longer
sits on the brink of destruction.

Bob opens his eyes and adjusts to the news.

NEWSCASTER ON TV (CONT’D)
The missiles have been dismantled and
Soviet ships are carrying them out of
Cuban waters.

Bob snaps off the TV. He drains a glass of water.

BOB
Well, that’s that.

He grabs a guitar, starts noodling with it. After a moment :

JOAN
Who taught you to play?

BOB
No one, really.
(still plucking)
‘picked up a few licks at the
carnival.

JOAN
..at the carnival.

BOB
There was singin’ cowboys who’d pass
through sometimes. Teach me things.
They’d join up when the show was in
Kansas or the Dakotas. Taught me
boogie-woogie-ish type stuff.

JOAN
You were in a carnival.

No response. Continues plucking.

JOAN (CONT’D)
You are so completely full of shit.

Bob smiles. Joan stands, looks about, perusing clippings
taped on the walls; stories about the war, the space race,
racial violence..

JOAN (CONT’D)
..I took lessons when I was a kid. You
know. Normal lessons at the music
shop. On the corner.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 43.


Joan’s eyes land upon a school notebook on a bedside table,
open to a page filled with Bob’s lyrics.

JOAN (CONT’D)
I write too. But I’m not sure there’s
a way to learn that.

BOB
Too hard.

JOAN
Excuse me.

BOB
You try too hard. To write.

JOAN
..Really.

BOB
If you’re askin’.

JOAN
I wasn’t.

BOB
Sunsets and seagulls. Your songs are
like an oil painting at the dentist’s
office.

JOAN
You’re kind of an asshole, Bob.

BOB
I guess.

Joan blinks. Crosses to the kitchen. Tosses him the notebook.

JOAN
Play the thing on the first page.
I need some coffee.

Joan scours the kitchen for parts to the french press. As she
does, Bob’s guitar coalesces into a groove. She looks up as --

BOB SINGS
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man? And how
many seas must a white dove sail
before she sleeps in the sand? Yes and
how many times must the cannon balls
fly before they're forever banned? The
answer, my friend, is blowin' in the
wind.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 44.


Water on the boil, Joan watches him, drying her hands.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Yes, and how many years can a mountain
exist before it's washed to the sea?

Joan sits beside him.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
How many years can some people exist
before they're allowed to be free?

Joan picks up his notebook and joins in.

JOAN AND BOB SING
Yes, and how many times can a man turn
his head, and pretend that he just
doesn't see? The answer, my friend, is
blowin' in the wind. The answer is
blowin' in the wind.

They sound great. Equals in power. Something which neither is
accustomed. The rusty knife of Bob’s voice blunts the beauty
of Joan’s. They dive into the next stanza :

JOAN AND BOB SING (CONT’D)
How many times must a man look up,
before he can see the sky? And how
many ears must one man have before he
can hear people cry? And how many
deaths will it take till he knows that
too many people have died? The answer
my friend is blowin' in the wind.

There is silence when they finish. They take in each other.

JOAN
So this is.. what?

BOB
..Don’t know.

She looks him in the eye. No one is brave today... The moment
passes. She closes his notebook.

JOAN
Have you recorded that?

BOB
Not yet.

Joan moves to the kitchen, pours coffee.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 45.


JOAN
..You should let me try it.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary In Bob's apartment at dawn, he and Joan share an intimate moment while observing the lively street outside. As the news announces a global shift with missile dismantling, Bob plays guitar and recounts a whimsical story about learning from carnival performers. Joan playfully critiques his songwriting, leading to a light-hearted exchange that deepens their connection. They harmonize on 'Blowin' in the Wind,' culminating in Joan suggesting they record the song together, highlighting their shared musical bond.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Musicality
  • Intimate interaction
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Subtle plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on character development, emotional depth, and musicality. The dialogue is engaging, and the interaction between Joan and Bob is compelling.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of two musicians sharing a moment of musical collaboration and personal reflection is well-executed. The scene explores themes of creativity, authenticity, and connection.

Plot: 8.5

While the plot progression is subtle, the scene serves as a pivotal moment in the relationship between Joan and Bob. It deepens their connection and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the aftermath of a crisis, exploring themes of creativity and connection in a unique way.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters of Joan and Bob are richly developed in this scene, showcasing their individual quirks, vulnerabilities, and strengths. Their dynamic and chemistry are central to the scene's impact.

Character Changes: 8

Both Joan and Bob experience subtle shifts in their perspectives and understanding of each other during the scene. Their interaction deepens their connection and mutual respect.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express themselves creatively and connect with the other character on a deeper level through music.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to make coffee and continue their morning routine.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around the characters' self-expression and vulnerability. There is tension in their interaction but no overt external conflict.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is subtle, with the characters' differing approaches to creativity creating tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional and personal, focusing on the characters' self-expression, vulnerability, and connection. There is no immediate external threat or high-stakes conflict.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene does not significantly advance the external plot, it deepens the relationship between Joan and Bob, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable in the sense that the characters' interactions and emotional depth keep the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bob's laid-back, carefree attitude towards creativity and Joan's more structured approach to writing and music.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through the characters' vulnerability, shared musical moment, and intimate conversation. It resonates with themes of connection and self-discovery.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is natural, engaging, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities and motivations. It enhances the emotional depth of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic between the characters, the emotional depth, and the exploration of creativity.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of introspection and emotional depth to unfold naturally.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, making it easy to read and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural progression of events and character interactions, fitting the expected structure for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of intimacy between Bob and Joan, showcasing their chemistry through playful banter and shared musicality. However, the dialogue sometimes feels overly expository, particularly when Bob explains his guitar skills. This could be streamlined to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The contrast between Bob's casual, self-taught approach to music and Joan's formal training adds depth to their characters. However, Joan's critique of Bob's songwriting could be more nuanced. Instead of simply calling him 'full of shit,' she could provide a specific example of what she finds lacking in his music, which would enhance the tension and stakes in their conversation.
  • The transition from their playful banter to the serious moment of singing 'Blowin' in the Wind' is well-executed, but the emotional weight of the song could be emphasized further. Consider adding a brief moment of silence or reflection before they start singing to heighten the impact of the lyrics.
  • The scene ends with Joan suggesting that Bob should let her try recording the song, which is a strong conclusion. However, it might benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the significance of this moment for both characters. Perhaps a line that reflects Joan's desire to collaborate or Bob's hesitance could add depth to their relationship dynamics.
Suggestions
  • Streamline Bob's explanation of his guitar skills to maintain the scene's pace and avoid excessive exposition.
  • Enhance Joan's critique of Bob's songwriting by providing specific examples, which would deepen their character development and the tension in their conversation.
  • Add a moment of silence or reflection before they begin singing to emphasize the emotional weight of 'Blowin' in the Wind.'
  • Consider including a line that reflects the significance of the moment for both characters, enhancing the emotional depth of their relationship.



Scene 24 -  Morning Melodies and Urban Embraces
51 EXT. SEEGER CABIN -- MORNING 51

THROUGH THE WINDOW we see Toshi making breakfast for the
children. The sound of cartoons AS WE PAN TO FIND --

Pete Seeger on an Adirondack chair with his Vega and a mug.
He looks toward the river as the sun clears Dunderberg
Mountain. He plucks and sings quietly.

PETE SINGS
..Little boxes on the hillside.
Little boxes made of ticky tacky.
Little boxes on the hillside, little
boxes all the same. There's a pink one
and a green one and a blue one..
CUT TO:
52 INT/EXT. BOB’S APARTMENT / HALLWAY -- DAY 52

With the vacuum running, BOB LEANS OUT THE WINDOW.

Past the fire escape, we see SYLVIE AT THE CURB three stories
below, dragging bags out of a taxi.

BOB
Shit.

Bob shuts off the appliance, winds the cord and desperately
straightens the bed finding a hair clip as THE PHONE RINGS.

BOB (CONT’D)
(answers phone)
Albert, I can’t talk now, man. What.
Later, man. Yes, I’ll be there!

He slams the phone down and rushes into the hall with a
bouquet catching --

BOB (CONT’D)
Sylvie!

As she emerges from the stairs, they embrace.

SYLVIE
..You okay?

He smiles and grabs her bags and follows her in the door.

Inside, Sylvie drops her bags and looks around, noticing the
french press in the drying rack.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 46.


SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Did you teach yourself to make coffee?

BOB
I -- Yeah.

Sylvie runs up and kisses him.

SYLVIE
Good for you.

A playful guitar rises and we --
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary The scene begins with Toshi preparing breakfast for the children at the serene Seeger cabin, while Pete Seeger plays his guitar and sings about conformity. It then shifts to Bob's apartment, where he anxiously tidies up for Sylvie's arrival. After a hurried phone call with Albert, Bob greets Sylvie with an embrace, and she notices his attempt at making coffee, which leads to a tender kiss between them. The contrasting settings highlight Bob's desire to impress Sylvie, culminating in a warm and intimate moment.
Strengths
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character chemistry
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the deepening relationship between Bob and Sylvie through their interactions and dialogue, creating a sense of intimacy and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reuniting lovers and exploring their relationship dynamics in a domestic setting is well-executed, adding depth to the characters and advancing the romantic subplot.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the personal relationship between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their emotional connection and the challenges they face, contributing to the overall character development.

Originality: 8

The scene demonstrates a level of originality through its focus on subtle emotional dynamics and the portrayal of ordinary moments with depth and nuance. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and uncontrived.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves into the personalities of Bob and Sylvie, highlighting their affectionate and playful dynamic, adding layers to their characters and relationship.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it deepens the bond between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their evolving relationship dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to impress Sylvie and show her that he is capable of taking care of himself and making an effort to improve. This reflects his desire for validation and acceptance.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to welcome Sylvie and make her feel comfortable in his apartment. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining a relationship and creating a positive environment for her.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on the emotional connection and reunion between Bob and Sylvie.

Opposition: 6.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, but not overwhelming or insurmountable. The protagonist faces challenges in impressing Sylvie and maintaining their relationship.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on the personal relationship between Bob and Sylvie rather than external conflicts or high tension.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the development of the romantic subplot and the characters of Bob and Sylvie, moving the narrative forward in terms of their relationship progression.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it balances moments of tension and vulnerability with moments of warmth and connection, keeping the audience engaged and unsure of how the characters will interact.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between self-reliance and vulnerability evident in this scene. The protagonist is trying to show his independence by making coffee and straightening up, but also shows vulnerability by being flustered and rushing to greet Sylvie.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, particularly in capturing the tender moments and affection between Bob and Sylvie, resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue between Bob and Sylvie is engaging, revealing their emotions, thoughts, and relationship dynamics effectively, enhancing the scene's intimacy and authenticity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it focuses on the characters' emotions and relationships, drawing the audience into their world and creating a sense of intimacy and connection.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and intimacy, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm that keeps the audience invested in the characters' emotions and interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the serene morning at the Seeger cabin with the chaotic energy of Bob's apartment, highlighting the different lifestyles and emotional states of the characters. However, the transition between these two settings could be more fluid to enhance the narrative flow.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Sylvie is light and playful, which is a nice touch, but it lacks depth. While their interaction is charming, it would benefit from a hint of underlying tension or conflict to add complexity to their relationship, especially considering the previous scene's emotional weight.
  • The introduction of the vacuum cleaner as a sound element is a clever way to signify Bob's chaotic life, but it could be used more effectively to create a stronger contrast with the peacefulness of Pete's scene. Perhaps incorporating more sensory details about the apartment's disarray could enhance this contrast.
  • The scene ends abruptly after Sylvie's compliment about Bob's coffee-making skills. This could leave the audience wanting more. A stronger closing line or action could provide a more satisfying conclusion to the scene, perhaps hinting at the challenges they face together or setting up the next conflict.
  • While the playful tone is enjoyable, it risks undermining the emotional stakes established in the previous scenes. Balancing humor with moments of vulnerability could create a richer character dynamic and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob as he watches Sylvie approach, allowing the audience to sense his mixed emotions about her return and the state of their relationship.
  • Incorporate more visual details about Bob's apartment to emphasize the contrast with the Seeger cabin. Describing the clutter or chaos could enhance the audience's understanding of Bob's current mental state.
  • Introduce a subtle conflict or tension in the dialogue between Bob and Sylvie, perhaps related to their past or future plans, to deepen their interaction and make it more engaging.
  • End the scene with a stronger emotional beat, such as a moment of silence or a shared look that hints at unresolved issues, to create anticipation for what comes next.
  • Consider using the sound of Pete's singing as a thematic motif that echoes in Bob's apartment, symbolizing the influence of folk music on both characters and their lives.



Scene 25 -  Moments of Music and Connection
53 INT. COLUMBIA RECORDS STUDIO “A” -- DAY 53

Bob sits in the studio playing and singing as a new black
Engineer (TOM WILSON) and Albert Grossman look on.

BOB SINGS
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why,
babe. If you don't know by now. And it
ain't no use to sit and wonder why,
babe, it'll never do some how.

TOM WILSON
Who wrote this?

ALBERT GROSSMAN
He did.

Music continues as we --
CUT TO:
54 EXT. JONES & 4TH STREET -- SNOW -- DAY 54

Bob and Sylvie play in the snow, laughing, as a photographer
snaps them with a Hasselblad. Bob is freezing and Sylvie
tries to get him to wear a sweater.

BOB SINGS
When the rooster crows at the break of
dawn, look out your window and I'll be
gone. You're the reason I'm traveling
on. Don't think twice, it's all right.

The music transitions into --
CUT TO:
55 EXT. SAN FRANCISCO CONCERT -- NIGHT 55

Now we see Joan singing the song at an outdoor concert.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 47.


JOAN SINGS
Ain't no use in turnin' on your light,
babe. The light I never knowed. And it
ain't no use in turning on your light,
babe. I'm on the dark side of the road.

CAMERA FINDS -- A CREW to the side of the stage, recording
Joan. Her singing fades as we --
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Musical","Romance","Drama"]

Summary In this scene, Bob Dylan performs in Columbia Records Studio 'A', observed by engineer Tom Wilson and manager Albert Grossman, who proudly acknowledges Bob's songwriting. The scene shifts to a playful moment in the snow with Sylvie, highlighting their close relationship. It concludes with Joan Baez performing one of Bob's songs at a concert, showcasing the impact of his music on other artists.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Musical performances
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines musical performances with emotional depth, creating a bittersweet and reflective atmosphere. The use of different locations adds visual interest and enhances the emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing musical performances in different settings to convey emotional depth and character relationships is well-executed. The scene effectively captures the bittersweet nature of Bob and Joan's interactions.

Plot: 8

While the scene focuses more on character interactions and musical performances than plot progression, it effectively conveys the emotional dynamics between Bob and Joan, adding depth to their relationship.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to showcasing the protagonist's emotional journey through music, with authentic dialogue and realistic interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Bob and Joan are portrayed with depth and complexity, showcasing their emotional connection and individual struggles. Their interactions reveal layers of their personalities and add richness to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both Bob and Joan experience emotional growth and introspection in the scene, deepening their connection and revealing new layers of their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his emotions through music and connect with his audience on a deeper level. It reflects his need for self-expression and his desire to communicate his feelings.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to perform well and entertain the audience. It reflects the immediate challenge of engaging the listeners and creating a memorable experience.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

While there is emotional tension and internal conflict within the characters, the scene focuses more on introspection and relationship dynamics than external conflict.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with challenges that test the protagonist's emotional resilience and commitment to his art.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are more emotional and personal, focusing on the characters' relationships and individual struggles rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene does not significantly advance the main plot, it adds depth to the characters' relationships and emotional arcs, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected shifts in location and the protagonist's emotional revelations that keep the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's personal emotions and the expectations of his audience. This challenges his beliefs about authenticity and performance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, capturing the bittersweet nature of Bob and Joan's relationship and their individual struggles. The intimate moments and musical performances enhance the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue between Bob and Joan is poignant and reflective, adding depth to their characters and relationships. The conversations feel natural and contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, dynamic settings, and compelling character interactions that draw the audience into the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, creating a rhythmic flow that enhances the impact of the protagonist's performances.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptive action lines.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively transitions between different locations and characters, maintaining the audience's engagement.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a transition between Bob's creative process in the studio and a playful moment with Sylvie, showcasing the duality of his life as an artist and a person. However, the abrupt cut from the studio to the snow scene could benefit from a smoother transition that connects the two moments thematically or emotionally.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well in the context of a musical scene, but it might be enhanced by adding a brief exchange between Bob and Tom Wilson or Albert Grossman that reflects their thoughts on Bob's songwriting or the significance of the moment. This could deepen the viewer's understanding of Bob's artistic journey.
  • The use of music in the scene is strong, but the lyrics quoted from Bob's song could be more integrated into the narrative. For instance, showing how the lyrics resonate with Bob's current emotional state or his relationship with Sylvie could create a more profound connection for the audience.
  • The visual imagery of Bob and Sylvie playing in the snow is charming and adds a light-hearted tone, but it may feel disconnected from the weight of the previous scenes. Consider incorporating elements that tie back to the themes of uncertainty and tension from the earlier scenes, perhaps through Bob's reflections on his music or the world around him.
  • Joan's performance at the concert serves as a nice callback to Bob's songwriting, but the transition to her singing could be more impactful. It might be beneficial to include a moment where Bob reflects on how his music is being interpreted by others, emphasizing the influence of his work on Joan and the broader folk music scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of dialogue in the studio that highlights Bob's relationship with Tom Wilson or Albert Grossman, providing insight into their perspectives on his music.
  • Enhance the transition between the studio and the snow scene by incorporating a visual or thematic element that connects Bob's songwriting process to his personal life, such as a lingering shot of Bob's notebook or a line of lyrics that resonates with the moment.
  • Explore the emotional weight of Bob's lyrics by showing how they reflect his current state of mind or his relationship with Sylvie, perhaps through a moment of introspection before or after the snow scene.
  • Incorporate a visual motif or recurring element that ties the scenes together, such as the changing weather or the presence of music, to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Consider expanding on Joan's performance by including a moment that highlights the impact of Bob's songwriting on her, perhaps through a shared glance or a moment of recognition that underscores their artistic connection.



Scene 26 -  Tensions in the Apartment
56 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- DAY 56

ALBERT SUPERVISES A PHOTO CREW as they set up lights around
Bob’s writing desk. Albert points to the notes on Bob’s
typewriter. The photographer starts shooting them.

BOB (O.S.)
Hey. Albert! Get them away from there!

ALBERT GROSSMAN
Pal! No! I told you you can’t shoot
his desk!

An assistant looks for an electrical socket as SYLVIE moves
past him, heading to the bedroom with a mug--

SYLVIE
You can plug that in here.

The assistant follows her into the room dragging a cord.
There we find --

BOB, on the bed, struggling to tie a bow around A PORTABLE
TURNTABLE. A suitcase, half packed, behind him.

BOB
Don’t bring them in here, Sylvie.

SYLVIE
I didn’t ‘bring them’, Bob. You did.
They’re here for you.

Bob mutters something. Sylvie looks at the turntable.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
That for Woody?

BOB
..I’m dropping it off on the way to
the airport.

SYLVIE
(kneels, re: ribbon)
Put your finger there.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 48.


Bob obliges and Sylvie neatly ties the ribbon as -- Joan’s
live cover of “Don’t Think Twice” comes on the radio.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Is that Joan?

BOB
Yeah.

SYLVIE
So she’s covering your song.

BOB
Yeah.

SYLVIE
Before your version comes out.

BOB
Albert thinks it helps.

SYLVIE
Helps her. Helps him sign her.

BOB
She’s famous, Sylvie. She was on the
cover of Time Magazine.

Sylvie looks at Bob.

BOB (CONT’D)
They recorded her live. She didn’t
know stations were gonna play it.

SYLVIE
Of course not.

Bob snaps off the radio and turns, closing up his suitcase.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
So, you’ve talked about this with her?
You gave her the song?

Sylvie holds her look at Bob.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Are you gonna see her in California?

ALBERT GROSSMAN (O.S.)
We’re ready in here, Bobby!
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 49.


BOB
I don’t want to see anyone. I just
want some fucking air. I’m choking to
death.

Tears fill Sylvie’s eyes.

SYLVIE
You didn’t learn to make coffee.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In Bob's apartment, tensions rise as Albert supervises a photo crew setting up around Bob's writing desk, which Bob vehemently opposes. Sylvie enters, helping Bob with a portable turntable while expressing concern about his emotional state and his relationship with Joan, who has covered one of his songs. Bob, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, pushes Sylvie away, leading to a poignant moment where she realizes his distress. The scene captures the emotional turmoil and conflict between Bob's need for solitude and the pressures surrounding him.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Subtle tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution
  • Limited external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional tension between the characters through subtle dialogue and actions, creating a poignant and intimate atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the complexities of relationships and unspoken feelings is effectively portrayed in the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the tension between Bob and Sylvie, adding depth to their characters and relationship.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the themes of fame, creativity, and personal relationships, with authentic character interactions and realistic dialogue that add depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob and Sylvie are well-developed, with their emotions and conflicts driving the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Sylvie experience emotional shifts in the scene, revealing new layers to their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control over his personal space and emotions, despite the intrusion of the photo crew and Sylvie's questions. This reflects his need for autonomy and privacy, as well as his struggle with fame and relationships.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to prepare for his trip to the airport and avoid confrontation with Sylvie about the song cover. This reflects his immediate circumstances and the challenges he faces in balancing his personal and professional life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Bob and Sylvie is palpable, creating a sense of unease and emotional turmoil.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, with Sylvie challenging Bob's decisions and emotions, leading to a sense of uncertainty and unpredictability.

High Stakes: 7

While the emotional stakes are high for Bob and Sylvie, the scene focuses more on internal conflicts than external threats.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship dynamics between Bob and Sylvie.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters, the emotional subtext in their interactions, and the unresolved tensions that leave the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between fame and personal relationships, as well as the ethical implications of sharing songs and creative work. This challenges Bob's values and worldview, especially in relation to his music and public image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, longing, and tension, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is subtle yet impactful, revealing the underlying emotions and tensions between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intimate character moments, emotional conflicts, and subtle tensions that draw the audience into the characters' world and relationships.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and emotional beats, creating a sense of tension and anticipation that drives the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural flow of events and character interactions, with a clear focus on Bob's internal and external goals. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their strained relationship amidst the chaos of Bob's rising fame. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional impact. For instance, instead of Bob simply stating he wants 'some fucking air,' consider incorporating a metaphor or a more vivid expression of his suffocation by fame and expectations.
  • Sylvie's character is portrayed as supportive yet hurt, which is compelling. However, her dialogue could be more dynamic. Instead of just asking questions, she could express her own frustrations or fears about Bob's choices, adding layers to her character and making the conflict more palpable.
  • The introduction of the photo crew adds a layer of external pressure, but it feels somewhat underutilized. The scene could explore how this intrusion affects both Bob and Sylvie more deeply, perhaps by showing Bob's discomfort with the attention or Sylvie's frustration with being sidelined in his world.
  • The use of Joan's cover of 'Don't Think Twice' as background music is a nice touch, but it could be more thematically tied to the dialogue. For example, if the lyrics reflect Bob's internal struggle or the nature of his relationship with Sylvie, it would enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Allowing for pauses or moments of silence could heighten the tension and give the audience time to absorb the emotional weight of the conversation.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to convey deeper emotions and conflicts. For example, have Sylvie express her own fears about Bob's relationship with Joan rather than just asking questions.
  • Explore the impact of the photo crew more thoroughly. Consider adding a moment where Bob reacts to their presence, showcasing his discomfort or frustration with the intrusion into his personal space.
  • Use the background music more strategically to reflect the themes of the scene. Perhaps highlight specific lyrics that resonate with Bob's feelings about fame and his relationship with Sylvie.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more emotional weight. Include pauses or moments of silence to let the audience feel the tension between the characters.
  • Consider adding a visual element that symbolizes Bob's internal struggle, such as a close-up of the turntable or the suitcase, to reinforce the theme of his conflicting desires for personal space and professional obligations.



Scene 27 -  Harmony on Highway 1
57 EXT. HIGHWAY 1 -- NORTHERN CALIFORNIA 57

Riding up the coast highway, past rocks and ocean... Bob
pulls onto a side road lined with eucalyptus. Stops at --

A SINGLE STORY HOUSE with a terra cotta roof. A Jaguar XKE
sits in the drive. As Bob dismounts, he checks the address.

JOAN
Hey there.

Joan stands at the door. She smiles as Bob approaches.

CUT TO:
58 INT. JOAN’S HOUSE -- CARMEL HIGHLANDS, CALIFORNIA 58

Joan emerges from the kitchen with a steaming mug as Bob
roams the plank floor, looking around the house. The living
room is all light, art and windows. An advance of Bob’s new
record spins quietly on her console.

BOB
This is a great place.

JOAN
Let me show you the rest.

Joan leads Bob deeper into the house. Bob checks out an old
Martin on the couch, picks it up and picks at the strings as
he follows her. The E-string rattles.

BOB
This what you’re using these days?
..It’s got some buzz.

JOAN
Not when I play it.

Joan approaches, puts out her hand, muting the strings. They
are close to each other. The bedroom through the next door.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 50.


JOAN (CONT’D)
The new record is beautiful.
CUT TO:
59 EXT. MONTEREY FESTIVAL -- DAY 59

Rolling acres of oaks, twisting cypress and A THOUSAND YOUNG
PEOPLE IN THE GRASS, drinking, laughing, smoking. A stage
built on risers. In the wings, Joan and Bob mingle among
other musicians, friends, and festival staff.

FESTIVAL HOST
Next up, the songwriter who wrote
Peter Paul and Mary’s “Blowing In The
Wind” and you’ve heard the one he
wrote for Joanie, “Don’t think Twice”!

Joan winces at Bob, who snorts as he straps on his Gibson and
steps onstage to a rather lukewarm reception.

Bob launches into “Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues”.

BOB SINGS
Well, I was feeling sad and feeling’
blue. Didn’t know what in the world I
was gonna do. Them Communists was
coming around.

Joan crosses backstage, looking out as --

The Monterey audience, unfamiliar with Bob’s style, responds
with disinterest, talking over him. Some walk away. Snicker.

OTHER MUSICIAN
‘like he’s got a clothespin on his
nose.
CUT TO:
60 EXT. ONSTAGE AT MONTEREY -- MOMENTS LATER 60

As Bob struggles to finish against the tepid response of the
crowd, there is a sudden SURGE OF APPLAUSE. Bob realizes JOAN
HAS COME ON STAGE BEHIND HIM, WITH HER MARTIN.

BOB
(off mic)
..not sure they’re feelin’ me.

JOAN
Play the new song I like.

BOB
(looks at her guitar)
You know it?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 51.


JOAN
I’ll find my way.

Bob begins strumming the opening chords of “Girl From the
North Country”-- and Joan leans into Bob’s mic.

JOAN (CONT’D)
Hello folks!

The crowd cheers “Joan!” in response.

JOAN (CONT’D)
Hey. I think this man has something to
say. ‘You wanna hear where things are
going, open your damned ears.

They get very quiet. Bob snorts. Proceeds to play the intro
and then --

BOB SINGS
If you're travelin' to the north
country fair. Where the winds hit
heavy on the borderline. Remember me
to one who lives there. She once was a
true love of mine.

Joan joins in with sweet harmony and the crowd is rapt.

BOB AND JOAN SING
..If you go when the snowflakes storm.
When the rivers freeze and summer
ends. Please see if she's wearing a
coat so warm. To keep her from the
howlin' winds.

Joan leans in, sharing the mic, their faces close. Joan and
Bob meet eyes. The crowd roars as we :
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary Bob arrives at Joan's home in Northern California, where they share a warm moment and discuss his new record. At the Monterey Festival, Bob struggles to connect with the audience during his performance. However, when Joan unexpectedly joins him on stage, they perform 'Girl From the North Country' together, captivating the crowd and transforming the atmosphere from tense to uplifting.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Musical collaboration
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Initial lukewarm reception from the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally resonant, with a strong focus on the musical collaboration between Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, creating a memorable and impactful moment. The intimate setting and reflective tone add depth to the characters and their relationship, while the defiant attitude displayed by Joan adds a layer of tension and passion to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of showcasing a musical collaboration between two iconic musicians at a festival is compelling and engaging. The scene effectively explores themes of connection, passion for music, and the power of harmonious performance to transcend differences.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the musical collaboration between Bob Dylan and Joan Baez at the Monterey Festival, highlighting their shared passion for music and the impact of their performance on the audience. The scene effectively advances the relationship between the characters and adds depth to their individual arcs.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to showcasing musical performance and personal connection, with authentic dialogue and character dynamics.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez are well-developed in the scene, with their passion for music and complex relationship dynamics coming to the forefront. Bob's introspective nature and Joan's defiant attitude create a compelling dynamic that drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob Dylan and Joan Baez experience a subtle shift in their relationship dynamics and individual growth during the scene, as they connect through music and deepen their understanding of each other.

Internal Goal: 9

Bob's internal goal is to connect with Joan on a personal and musical level, as seen through his interactions with her and his comments on her music.

External Goal: 8

Bob's external goal is to impress the audience at the Monterey Festival with his music, especially after the lukewarm reception.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a subtle conflict in the lukewarm reception Bob initially receives from the audience, the scene primarily focuses on the harmonious collaboration between Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, leading to a resolution of the conflict through their musical performance.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the audience's initial disinterest and Bob's struggle to connect with them, adding conflict and challenge.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene are primarily emotional, as Bob Dylan and Joan Baez navigate their evolving relationship through music and connection. The impact of their performance at the Monterey Festival carries weight in their personal and professional lives.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by advancing the relationship between Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, deepening the emotional stakes, and setting the stage for further character development and plot progression.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional shifts and audience reactions, adding tension and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Bob's traditional folk music style and the audience's expectations at the Monterey Festival, challenging his beliefs and values as a musician.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, with the intimate and reflective tone, the musical collaboration between Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, and the depth of their connection evoking strong emotions in both the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, with Bob and Joan's interactions revealing layers of emotion, connection, and tension. Their exchange during the musical performance adds depth to their characters and enhances the overall thematic resonance of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, musical elements, and character dynamics that draw the audience into the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene enhances its emotional impact and builds tension effectively, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, enhancing readability and flow.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and character interactions, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The transition from the intimate moment between Bob and Sylvie to the more public setting of the Monterey Festival is effective, but the emotional weight of Sylvie's tears could be better integrated into Bob's subsequent interactions with Joan. This would create a more cohesive emotional arc, highlighting Bob's internal conflict as he navigates his relationships.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Joan is light and playful, which works well to establish their chemistry. However, it could benefit from deeper subtext that reflects their complicated history. Adding layers to their conversation could enhance the tension and stakes of their reunion.
  • The audience's lukewarm reception to Bob's performance is a strong narrative choice, illustrating the disconnect between Bob's artistry and the expectations of the festival crowd. However, the scene could delve deeper into Bob's feelings of frustration and vulnerability during this moment. A more explicit internal struggle could heighten the emotional impact.
  • Joan's entrance on stage is a pivotal moment that shifts the energy of the performance. While it is visually engaging, the scene could explore Bob's reaction to her support more thoroughly. This could include a moment of hesitation or surprise that emphasizes the significance of her presence in that moment.
  • The use of music in this scene is effective, but the lyrics of 'Girl From the North Country' could be referenced more explicitly in the dialogue leading up to the performance. This would create a stronger connection between the characters' conversation and the song they perform together, enhancing the thematic resonance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob after Sylvie's emotional exit, allowing the audience to see how her departure weighs on him as he approaches Joan. This could deepen the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue between Bob and Joan to hint at their past relationship and the complexities of their current dynamic. This could involve playful banter that also reveals underlying tensions.
  • Enhance Bob's internal conflict during his performance by including brief flashbacks or thoughts that illustrate his feelings of inadequacy or frustration with the audience's reaction. This could be done through voiceover or visual cues.
  • When Joan joins Bob on stage, consider adding a moment where Bob visibly reacts to her presence, showcasing his surprise or relief. This would emphasize the importance of her support in that moment.
  • Reference the lyrics of 'Girl From the North Country' in the dialogue before the performance to create a stronger thematic link between the characters' conversation and the song they sing together.



Scene 28 -  Echoes of Music and Reflection
61 EXT. EL PASO -- CLUB PARKING LOT -- NIGHT 61

A SKINNY DRUNK MAN WEARING BLACK, 34, emerges from A BAR WITH
A CROWD OF MUSICIANS. They stumble toward a waiting convoy of
Cadillacs, but the man in black breaks away, hearing --

BOB SINGING ON RADIO
..Like Judas of old. You lie and
deceive. A world war can be won. You
want me to believe..

A SEASONED BARMAID, smokes and flirts with A GUY IN A COWBOY
HAT leaning on the open door of an EL CAMINO -- the radio
inside is the source of Bob’s music.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 52.


The skinny man approaches them and proceeds to climb right in
their El Camino, listening. He turns it up.

BARMAID
Excuse me!

Some of the man’s entourage yell and run to retrieve him.

SKINNY MAN’S FRIENDS
Hey! J-R!

BOB SINGS ON RADIO
But I see through your eyes. And I see
through your brain. Like I see through
the water that runs down your drain.

GUY IN COWBOY HAT
Is that Johnny Cash?
CUT TO:
62 INT. LOBBY -- CBS / COLUMBIA RECORDS -- DAY 62

Bob approaches the reception desk, shades on. He sees a large
framed poster on the wall -- the artwork for “Freewheelin’
Bob Dylan” -- Sylvie and Bob playing in the snow.

BOB
Uh, Mr. Hammond said you had something
to pick up. My name is--

RECEPTIONIST
(smiles)
I know who you are. One moment.

She returns with A LARGE MAIL SACK. Bob is stunned.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)
They set these aside for you.

And she hands him TWO SINGLE ENVELOPES.
CUT TO:
63 EXT. 52ND STREET / CBS RECORDS -- DAY 63

Bob walks with the sack on his back, cracking open the two
letters. One, from CBS, contains a check for ten thousand
dollars. Bob smiles at this, folds the check and pockets it.
Then he looks at the other envelope. It has a postmark from
Las Vegas, and a scrawled return address reading :

JOHNNY CASH. Singer. Slinger. Ringer. Mingler. Tingler.
Hider. Wild Horse Rider.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 53.

64 EXT. PARK -- DAY 64

As children play, Bob sits on a bench, carefully opening and
reading the letter. We hear Cash’s hard-gravel baritone.

JOHNNY CASH V.O.
Dear Bob. I won’t grope for the words
to tell you how great your writing is.
I’ll just say your “Freewheelin’”
album is my most prized possession.
Thank you. ..Johnny Cash.

Bob takes a breath and blinks. The sound of traffic,
children, sirens and subways returns.. And then we hear --

BOB SINGS (O.S.)
I met a man who was wounded in love.
I met another man...
AS WE CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music","Biography"]

Summary In a lively El Paso parking lot at night, a skinny drunk man is captivated by music from an El Camino, ignoring his friends as he immerses himself in the moment. The scene transitions to the daytime CBS Records lobby, where Bob Dylan arrives to collect his mail, receiving a check and a heartfelt letter from Johnny Cash expressing admiration for his work. The contrasting settings highlight a blend of carefree revelry and reflective nostalgia, culminating with Bob sitting on a park bench, deeply moved by Cash's words.
Strengths
  • Emotional resonance
  • Character development
  • Authentic interactions
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of reflection and intimacy, with a nostalgic tone that resonates with the audience. The inclusion of Johnny Cash's letter adds depth and emotional impact to the scene, elevating its significance.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of recognition and appreciation for artistic talent is effectively portrayed in the scene, adding depth to Bob Dylan's character and highlighting the impact of his music on others.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan receiving a letter from Johnny Cash, which serves as a significant moment of recognition and validation for his talent. It moves the story forward by showcasing Bob's growing influence in the music industry.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of rebellion and self-discovery, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel true to the setting and time period.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash, are well-developed and their interactions are authentic and emotionally resonant. The scene effectively portrays their relationship and the impact of Johnny Cash's letter on Bob.

Character Changes: 7

The scene showcases a subtle change in Bob Dylan's character as he receives recognition and validation from Johnny Cash, leading to a moment of reflection and appreciation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with the music and lyrics he hears on the radio, which reflect his own feelings of disillusionment and defiance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape his entourage and immerse himself in the music playing on the radio.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on emotional resonance and character development rather than intense conflict or tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the protagonist's entourage trying to retrieve him, adding a sense of urgency and conflict to his decision to break away.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on emotional resonance and character development rather than high-stakes conflict or tension.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by highlighting Bob Dylan's growing influence in the music industry and the impact of his music on others, particularly through the letter from Johnny Cash.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's unexpected decision to break away from his friends and immerse himself in the music playing on the radio.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between conformity and rebellion, as the protagonist chooses to break away from his friends and embrace the music that speaks to his soul.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of appreciation, validation, and nostalgia. The letter from Johnny Cash adds a poignant and heartfelt moment that resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is meaningful and reflective, capturing the emotional depth of the characters and their relationship. The exchange between Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash through the letter is poignant and well-written.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic characters, evocative setting, and the protagonist's compelling journey towards self-discovery.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution with the protagonist's discovery of Johnny Cash's letter.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's goals and conflicts, with a smooth flow of action and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of connection between Bob Dylan's music and the characters in the bar, showcasing the impact of his work on different individuals. However, the transition from the bar scene to the CBS Records lobby feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • The character of the skinny drunk man is introduced but lacks depth. While he is drawn to the music, providing a bit more backstory or motivation for his actions could make him more relatable and engaging for the audience.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well in creating a sense of atmosphere, but it may benefit from a few more lines to flesh out the interactions between the characters, particularly between the barmaid and the cowboy-hatted man. This could add layers to the scene and provide more context for the setting.
  • The use of Bob's lyrics as a voiceover is effective in conveying the emotional weight of the moment, but it could be enhanced by integrating the lyrics more closely with the visuals. For example, showing the reactions of the characters in the bar as they listen could create a stronger emotional resonance.
  • The scene ends with Bob reading Johnny Cash's letter, which is a nice touch, but it could be more impactful if it tied back to the earlier moments in the scene. Perhaps reflecting on how the music connects them could create a thematic closure.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for the skinny drunk man as he listens to Bob's music, allowing the audience to understand his emotional state and connection to the song.
  • Enhance the transition between the bar scene and the CBS Records lobby by including a visual or auditory cue that links the two locations, such as the fading sound of Bob's music as the scene shifts.
  • Incorporate more dialogue between the characters in the bar to provide context and depth, particularly focusing on their reactions to the music and each other.
  • Show the reactions of the bar patrons as they listen to Bob's song, perhaps capturing moments of nostalgia or joy, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Consider revisiting the themes of connection and influence in the final moments of the scene, perhaps by having Bob reflect on the significance of Cash's letter in relation to the music he just heard.



Scene 29 -  A Night of Triumph and Reflection
65 INT. NEW YORK CITY -- TOWN HALL THEATER -- NIGHT 65

Bob’s first major solo concert. He stands alone in the spot.
The audience has changed. Not folk fans. They are Bob fans.

BOB SINGS
-- who was wounded with hatred. And
it's a hard. It's a hard, it's a hard,
it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.
66 NOW AT : THE VILLAGE RECORD SHOP -- DAY 66

CLOSE ON -- BOB’S RECORD: “A FREEWHEELIN’ BOB DYLAN”.
Fans buy up copies as the clerk un-crates a new box.

BOB SINGS (O.S.)
Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed
son? Oh, what'll you do now, my
darling young one?

REVEAL -- BOB in shades, incognito, watching. He holds a
folded paper in his hand. Tosses it in a garbage basket.

HEADLINE : “A NEW VOICE IN FOLK -- WOWS TOWN HALL”

Suddenly A BUNCH OF YOUNG WOMEN RECOGNIZE HIM AND SCREAM.
As they converge around him, Bob dives into a taxi.
67 AND NOW AT: CARNEGIE HALL. NIGHT. 67

BOB SINGS
..Where the people are many and their
hands are all empty. Where pellets of
poison are flooding their waters.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 54.


The grand palace of music. Packed. Blue-bloods in evening
gowns mix with folkies in denim and starry eyed teens. Rapt.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Where a home in the valley meets the
damp dirty prison. Where the
executioner's face is always well-
hidden. Where hunger is ugly, where
souls are forgotten..

CLOSE ON -- PETE. He wears his banjo and stands in the wings
beside Grossman, watching Bob under the lights. Pete is
deeply moved by his protege.

Grossman turns, emotional, embracing Pete, whispering --

ALBERT GROSSMAN
It’s happening, Pete. You did it.
This was your dream. Folk Music
reaching everyone.

BOB SINGS
..and it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a
hard, it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.

A huge ovation. Bob stands there, taking in the intense
adoration. From the crowd. From Pete and Albert, misty-eyed
in the wings. He is not sure what to do with it. How to
process it.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary Bob performs at his first major solo concert at the Town Hall Theater, captivating an audience of dedicated fans. As he sings 'A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall,' the scene shifts to a record shop where fans eagerly purchase his album, while Bob, incognito, observes their excitement. The performance continues at Carnegie Hall, where Bob's powerful lyrics resonate with a diverse audience. Pete Seeger watches proudly from the wings, and Albert Grossman shares an emotional moment with him, celebrating Bob's success. The scene culminates in a huge ovation for Bob, who stands overwhelmed by the adoration and the weight of his newfound fame.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful performance
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Lack of overt conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, showcasing a significant moment in Bob Dylan's career with intense emotions and a reflective tone. The transition in the audience, the powerful performance, and the emotional reactions of the characters contribute to a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of showcasing Bob Dylan's pivotal moment in his career through a solo concert is well-executed. The scene effectively conveys themes of change, growth, and artistic evolution.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan's performance at a major concert, highlighting his transition to a new audience. The narrative progression is engaging, leading to a climactic moment of emotional resonance.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring the intersection of fame, artistry, and personal identity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bob Dylan, Pete, and Albert, are well-developed and emotionally resonant. Their reactions and interactions add depth to the scene and enhance the overall impact.

Character Changes: 8

Bob Dylan undergoes a subtle but significant change in the scene as he transitions to a new audience and grapples with the adoration and expectations placed upon him.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to process and understand the intense adoration and recognition he is receiving from the audience and his mentors. This reflects his deeper need for validation and acceptance, as well as his fear of losing himself in the fame and success.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to deliver a successful concert and connect with his audience through his music. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his personal identity with his public persona.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is not overt conflict in the scene, there is a sense of internal struggle and tension as Bob Dylan navigates his newfound success and the expectations of his audience.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, presenting challenges and obstacles that test the protagonist's resolve and force him to confront his fears and insecurities.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high in the scene as Bob Dylan faces the challenge of performing for a new audience and navigating his growing fame and success.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Bob Dylan's evolution as an artist and setting the stage for future developments in his career. The performance at the concert marks a turning point in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists and emotional revelations that challenge the audience's expectations and assumptions about the characters and their motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between artistic integrity and commercial success. Bob's success in reaching a wider audience challenges his beliefs about the purity of folk music and the authenticity of his own artistry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of adoration, hope, and nostalgia. The powerful performance and the characters' reactions create a deeply emotional experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, focusing on Bob Dylan's lyrics and the emotional reactions of the characters. The sparse dialogue enhances the musical performance and emotional depth of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the protagonist's emotional journey, creating a sense of intimacy and connection with the characters and their struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and reflection, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing readability and visual clarity for the reader.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional resonance through the progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a pivotal moment in Bob Dylan's career, showcasing his transition from a folk artist to a cultural icon. The juxtaposition of the Town Hall Theater and Carnegie Hall highlights the evolution of his audience and the growing recognition of his music. However, the scene could benefit from deeper emotional exploration of Bob's internal conflict as he grapples with his newfound fame and the expectations that come with it.
  • The use of music as a narrative device is strong, but the lyrics quoted could be more integrated into the scene's emotional arc. Instead of simply presenting the lyrics, consider using them to reflect Bob's feelings about his journey and the pressures he faces. This would create a more cohesive emotional experience for the audience.
  • The transitions between locations (Town Hall Theater to the record shop to Carnegie Hall) are somewhat abrupt. While they serve to illustrate Bob's rising fame, they could be smoother. Adding brief moments of reflection or interaction with fans could enhance the flow and provide insight into Bob's character and his relationship with his audience.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well for a performance scene, but incorporating more interactions or reactions from the audience could heighten the tension and excitement. For instance, showing specific fans' reactions or comments could personalize the experience and make the audience feel more connected to Bob's journey.
  • The emotional climax of the scene, where Bob receives a huge ovation, is powerful, but it lacks a clear resolution for Bob's internal struggle. Consider adding a moment where Bob acknowledges the crowd or reflects on what this moment means for him, providing a more satisfying emotional payoff.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate Bob's internal thoughts or feelings through voiceover or visual cues to deepen the audience's understanding of his emotional state during this significant moment.
  • Enhance the transitions between the different locations by including brief interactions or reflections that connect Bob's experiences at each venue, creating a more fluid narrative.
  • Consider adding a moment where Bob interacts with fans or acknowledges their presence, which could help ground the scene and provide insight into his relationship with his audience.
  • Use the lyrics of the songs more strategically to reflect Bob's emotional journey, perhaps by selecting lines that resonate with his current feelings about fame and success.
  • End the scene with a moment of clarity or realization for Bob, allowing him to process the adoration he receives and hinting at the complexities of fame that he will face moving forward.



Scene 30 -  A Harmonious Farewell
68 INT. GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- WOODY'S ROOM -- NIGHT 68

PETE SEEGER sits at Woody’s bedside. WOODY watches shadows
from a security light shining through trees out the window.

Pete notices -- BOB’S GIFT, THE PORTABLE RECORD PLAYER, bow
still around it, on nearby a table.

PETE
Fancy! A “Newcomb”. Never heard of
that make before.

Pete looks at the “Freewheelin’” album cover leaning on the
turntable. Bob and Sylvie on the cover. Pete smiles.

PETE (CONT’D)
“Little Boxes” got itself on the
charts. Number seventy.

WOODY
(grunts approvingly)
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 55.


PETE
That’s a first for me, solo-wise. Had
a few hits with The Weavers. But they
don’t tumble out of me like for some.

Pete notices Woody’s hand has touched his.

PETE (CONT’D)
Got me thinking about doing a tour
after Newport. A world tour. Africa.
Australia. India. Visit Toshi’s family
in Japan. Take the kids. Would that be
okay? Can you hold on, take your
medicines and get some rest while I’m
out spreading the word?

Woody tightens his hand around Pete’s. He nods.

PETE (CONT’D)
(smiles, tenderly)
People are appreciating our songs,
Wood. We’re getting somewhere. Bobby’s
a big part of that.

Woody tips his head again.

PETE (CONT’D)
..Harold was talking to a guy at NJU..
About starting up a weekly television
show after I get back.

Woody reaches out to the bedside table and grabs -- AN OLD
BRASS HARMONICA.

PETE (CONT’D)
You want to play it?

Woody shakes his head.

PETE (CONT’D)
Oh. Right. I gotta get the reed fixed.

Frustrated, Woody struggles to shape a word. Pete leans in.

WOODY
F-f-f-r ..B-b-b-b..

Pete takes this in. Pockets the harp.

PETE
Okay. I’ll make sure he gets it.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 56.

69 CLOSE ON -- A BLACK AND WHITE TV 69

NETWORK NEWS RECAPS THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON. The Lincoln
Memorial behind, the Washington Monument above, a crowd of a
quarter million watches as Ossie Davis introduces musicians.
Clips of Peter, Paul & Mary, Mahalia Jackson and --

BOB SINGING ON TV
But now we got weapons of chemical
dust. If fire them, we're forced to
Then fire, them we must.

WE HEAR DRINKS CLINKING AND PEOPLE EXCLAIMING AS WE PULL BACK
from a hotel television. Legs of party-goers cross in
foreground as WE PAN, following ALAN LOMAX.

WE ARE IN A DC HOTEL SUITE -- LATE DAY

A post-march celebration. Managers, Officials, Mahalia,
Peter, Paul & Mary and Joan Baez react to the television as
Lomax excitedly announces--

ALAN LOMAX
That was Bobby D at the top of the
fucking news!

BOB SINGS ON TV
One push of the button and a shot the
world wide. And you never ask
questions. When God's on your side.

The camera continues panning, revealing-- AN ADJOINING ROOM
where we find -- BOB (same outfit as the march), sitting on a
bed, brooding, smoking, listening to the revelers next door.
He starts gathering his bags. We hear MLK’s voice in bg.

JOAN
You played at the top of the news.

BOB
That’s why we came? To be celebrities?

JOAN
We came to reach people.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a tender night-time visit at Greystone Hospital, Pete Seeger comforts Woody Guthrie as they discuss music, health, and future aspirations. Despite Woody's struggles to communicate, he encourages Pete's plans for a world tour, symbolized by a tightening grip on his hand. The presence of a portable record player and an album cover of Bob Dylan sparks reflections on their musical legacy. The scene culminates with a transition to a television broadcast of the March on Washington, highlighting the enduring impact of their music.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic resonance
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of introspection and emotional depth, with strong character interactions and thematic resonance.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reflecting on personal relationships and aspirations against the backdrop of historical events is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on character dynamics and emotional resonance, moving the story forward through personal revelations and interactions.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the folk music scene of the 1960s, blending personal relationships with larger social and political themes. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to the time period.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and engaging, with nuanced relationships and internal conflicts that drive the emotional core of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience internal growth and reflection, leading to subtle but significant changes in their perspectives and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Woody's internal goal is to communicate with Pete despite his physical limitations, showing his desire for connection and understanding.

External Goal: 7.5

Pete's external goal is to plan a world tour and television show, reflecting his ambition and dedication to spreading their music and message.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on personal struggles and relationships rather than external action.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming, allowing for character growth and development.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are more personal and emotional in nature, focusing on the characters' internal struggles and relationships rather than external threats.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening character relationships and revealing internal conflicts, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting goals and emotions, creating tension and uncertainty about their future actions and decisions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of fame and celebrity versus reaching people with their music and message. Bob questions the purpose of their fame, while Joan emphasizes the importance of reaching people.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and aspirations.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is meaningful and reflective, adding depth to the character interactions and thematic exploration.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intimate character interactions, emotional depth, and thematic richness. The dialogue and actions draw the audience into the characters' world and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of reflection and emotional depth, as well as building tension and conflict effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character goals and conflicts, leading to a cohesive and engaging narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Woody Guthrie's condition and the bond between him and Pete Seeger. The dialogue is poignant and reflects their shared history and the impact of their music. However, the pacing feels a bit uneven, particularly when transitioning from the intimate moment between Pete and Woody to the broader context of the March on Washington. This shift could be smoother to maintain emotional continuity.
  • Woody's struggle to communicate adds a layer of tension and urgency to the scene, but it could be enhanced by providing more context about his condition. A brief visual or auditory cue could help the audience understand the severity of his situation without relying solely on dialogue.
  • The introduction of the television broadcast feels somewhat abrupt. While it serves to connect the personal narrative to the larger historical moment, the transition could be more seamless. Consider using a visual motif or sound bridge that ties Woody's struggle to the broader societal issues being addressed in the March on Washington.
  • The dialogue between Pete and Woody is heartfelt, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, Pete's optimism about the tour contrasts sharply with Woody's physical limitations. This contrast could be emphasized through their body language or through more nuanced dialogue that hints at Woody's awareness of his condition and the implications for Pete's plans.
  • The scene ends with a cut to the television broadcast, which is a strong visual choice, but it might leave the audience feeling disconnected from the emotional core of the previous interaction. A more gradual transition or a lingering shot on Woody's face before cutting away could help maintain the emotional resonance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Woody's physical condition is visually represented, such as a close-up of his hand gripping Pete's, to emphasize the fragility of his health.
  • Enhance the transition to the television broadcast by incorporating a sound bridge, such as the faint sound of Bob's performance bleeding into the background of Pete and Woody's conversation.
  • Introduce more subtext in the dialogue between Pete and Woody, perhaps by having Woody's attempts to speak reflect his awareness of the limitations imposed by his illness, creating a deeper emotional impact.
  • Use body language to convey the emotional stakes more clearly. For example, have Pete lean in closer to Woody as he speaks about the tour, showing his desire for connection despite the physical distance created by Woody's condition.
  • Consider ending the scene with a lingering shot on Woody's face or a close-up of the record player, symbolizing the connection between past and present, before cutting to the television broadcast.



Scene 31 -  Fame's Burden
70 EXT. DC HOTEL -- LATE DAY 70

As Bob emerges from the hotel, SCREAMS. YOUNG PEOPLE DESCEND
ON HIM, girls grab at him, kiss him. Bob fights his way to A
WAITING CAR and struggles to pull the door.

BOB
Back off, lady!
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 57.


GIRL
I love you, Bob!

BOB
(slams door, to driver)
Go, go! Just go!
CUT TO:
71 INT. EASTERN AIRLINES SHUTTLE -- NIGHT 71

CLOSE ON -- Bob, as he writes on some hotel stationary on a
food tray. He looks up feeling watched and sees --

Nearly everyone in the plane cabin is looking at him,
stealing glances, commenting, watching.

Bob slumps in his seat and continues to write his letter.
We see and hear the words :

BOB (V.O.)
Dear Johnny. Thanks for that letter.
Let me start by not beginning. Let me
start not by startin. By continuing.
This whole thing has gotten hard. I am
now famous. Like you. Famous by the
rules of public famiousity. It snuck
up on me. And pulverized me. It is
hard for me to walk down the streets I
did before, cause now I don’t know who
is watching. Who is waiting. Wanting.
I don’t mind giving an autograph, but
my mind tells me it is not honest.. I
am fulfilling a myth. A lie. Who would
actually treasure my hanwriting more
than his own? People say I am
contrary. But I am living a
contradiction. To quote Mr. Froyd, I
get quite paranoid.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biographical"]

Summary Bob exits a hotel in Washington, D.C., only to be overwhelmed by a swarm of adoring fans, particularly young girls who grab and kiss him. Struggling to reach his waiting car, he urges the driver to leave quickly. The scene shifts to Bob on an Eastern Airlines shuttle at night, where he feels the weight of public attention as he writes a letter. In a voiceover, he reflects on the paranoia and pressure that come with his newfound fame, questioning the authenticity of his celebrity status. The scene captures the chaos of adoration and Bob's introspective struggle with the implications of his fame.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Atmospheric tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into Bob Dylan's inner struggles and the impact of his newfound fame, creating a poignant and introspective atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of fame and its consequences is explored in depth, highlighting the personal struggles and sacrifices that come with public recognition.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot primarily focuses on Bob's internal struggles, it provides insight into his evolving relationship with fame and the challenges he faces.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring the impact of fame on personal identity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Bob's character is well-developed, showcasing his vulnerability, complexity, and inner turmoil, while the supporting characters add depth and context to his story.

Character Changes: 8

Bob undergoes significant emotional changes throughout the scene, grappling with the consequences of fame and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in the public eye.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his newfound fame and the challenges it brings to his personal life. It reflects his deeper need for authenticity and privacy, as well as his fear of losing his sense of self in the public eye.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to escape the overwhelming attention and intrusion of the crowd of young people outside the hotel. It reflects the immediate challenge he faces in maintaining his privacy and personal space.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6.5

The conflict is primarily internal, focusing on Bob's struggle with fame and the loss of privacy, creating a sense of tension and emotional turmoil.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces overwhelming attention and invasion of privacy from the crowd of young people. The audience is unsure of how Bob will handle the situation and maintain his sense of self.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Bob as he navigates the complexities of fame, privacy, and personal identity, facing internal and external challenges that threaten his sense of self.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene primarily focuses on Bob's internal journey, it contributes to the overall narrative by deepening the audience's understanding of his character and the themes of fame and isolation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected intrusion of the crowd of young people and the protagonist's conflicted emotions about his fame. The audience is unsure of how Bob will navigate his newfound celebrity status.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between fame and authenticity, as Bob grapples with the expectations and pressures of celebrity while trying to remain true to himself. This challenges his beliefs about identity and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, drawing the audience into Bob's inner world and eliciting empathy for his struggles and conflicts.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys Bob's inner thoughts and emotions, as well as his interactions with others, but could benefit from more depth and complexity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, relatable themes of identity and fame, and the protagonist's internal struggle. The tension and drama keep the audience invested in the character's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and introspection, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the protagonist's struggles while maintaining a sense of momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup of the protagonist's internal and external goals, a development of the conflict, and a resolution that sets up future events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bob's struggle with fame and the paradox of celebrity, which is a central theme in his journey. The juxtaposition of the chaotic fan interaction outside the hotel with Bob's introspective letter writing on the plane creates a strong contrast that highlights his internal conflict.
  • The dialogue in Bob's voiceover is poetic and reflective, showcasing his unique voice and thought process. However, it could benefit from more specificity regarding his feelings about fame. While the general sentiment of feeling overwhelmed is clear, adding personal anecdotes or specific instances could deepen the emotional impact.
  • The transition from the hotel to the airplane is smooth, but the pacing could be tightened. The initial chaos of the fans is engaging, but it might be more effective to condense this moment to maintain momentum as Bob moves into his introspective state. This would help keep the audience engaged without losing the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The use of 'public famousity' is an interesting phrase that captures Bob's unique perspective, but it may come off as slightly awkward. Consider rephrasing for clarity while maintaining the poetic tone. Additionally, the reference to 'Mr. Froyd' feels somewhat out of place and could be replaced with a more relatable or impactful reference that resonates with Bob's character and experiences.
  • The visual elements of the scene are strong, particularly the contrast between the external chaos and Bob's internal struggle. However, consider incorporating more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the fans, the cramped feeling of the airplane, or the smell of the food tray, which could further immerse the audience in Bob's experience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a specific anecdote or memory related to fame that Bob reflects on in his letter. This could provide a more personal touch and deepen the audience's understanding of his internal conflict.
  • Tighten the pacing of the scene by condensing the fan interaction outside the hotel. This could help maintain momentum as Bob transitions into his introspective moment on the plane.
  • Rephrase 'public famousity' to something more straightforward or impactful, ensuring it aligns with Bob's character and voice.
  • Replace the reference to 'Mr. Froyd' with a more relatable or significant figure that resonates with Bob's experiences, enhancing the authenticity of his voice.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene's atmosphere, allowing the audience to feel the chaos of the fans and the confinement of the airplane.



Scene 32 -  From Laughter to Grief
72 INT. NORTH CENTRAL JETLINER -- NIGHT 72

Bob’s DC letter sits on an airplane tray beside a jangling
Bourbon. Amid turbulence, JOHNNY CASH smiles darkly at Bob’s
letter and feverishly writes a reply on an air sickness bag.

JOHNNY CASH (V.O.)
Bob. Got your letter. Tonight I sit in
the wake of one more hard rain.
Tomorrow, I play Duluth, Minnesota and
I will say hello for you to the one
who is there.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 58.

73 EXT. CAFE -- MACDOUGAL STREET -- WINTER -- DAY 73

Bob sits a corner table, collar up, hat on. He reads Johnny’s
air sickness bag letter, rapt, grinning.

JOHNNY CASH (V.O.)
I was in New York last week and I
stopped by the Gaslight. Saw a bunch
of “Folk Singers” that wouldn’t make a
chigger on your ass.

Bob barks a laugh. People in the cafe look up at him.
SUDDENLY, RAPID TAPS ON THE GLASS FROM OUTSIDE.

YOUNG PEOPLE
Oh my God! It’s him! Bobby!!

One of the fans, a young woman, kisses the window, leaving
lipstick. Bob evacuates moving toward the exit.

JOHNNY CASH (V.O.)
I’ll see you in Newport come Spring.
Till then, track mud on somebody’s
carpet.
CUT TO:
74 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- DAY 74

The trees out the apartment window are now brown and barren.
Sylvie sits on the bed with Bob, both ashen and riveted as
they watch their small television.

ON TV -- A CBS SPECIAL REPORT -- WALTER CRONKITE sits at a
newsroom desk. Shaken as he is passed a slip of paper.

CRONKITE ON TV
..From Dallas, Texas, apparently
official now, President John F.
Kennedy died at 1p Central Standard
Time. Two o’clock East Standard, some
38 minutes ago.

Cronkite takes his glasses off, overcome with emotion.

CRONKITE ON TV (CONT’D)
Vice President Johnson has left the
hospital in Dallas. Presumably he will
be taking the oath of office and
become the 36th President of the
United States--

Sylvie clings to Bob, crying. Bob just stares at the TV.
We hear Joan Baez’s voice rise as we --
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 59.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a turbulent flight, Johnny Cash humorously replies to Bob's letter, prompting laughter from Bob at a cafe on Macdougal Street. The scene shifts to Bob's apartment, where he and Sylvie are left in shock as they watch CBS anchor Walter Cronkite announce the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, marking a poignant transition from joy to sorrow.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some scenes may feel disconnected from the main narrative

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a range of emotions and themes through its well-crafted dialogue, character interactions, and impactful events, creating a memorable and poignant moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the characters' reactions to a significant historical event is compelling and adds depth to the narrative, showcasing the impact of external events on personal lives.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene is focused on the characters' emotional responses to the news, driving the story forward while exploring themes of loss and connection.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the music world of the 1960s, blending personal connections with larger societal events in a unique way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene are authentic and engaging, revealing their emotional depth and relationships in a compelling way.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience emotional shifts and realizations in response to the news, deepening their relationships and adding complexity to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to connect with Johnny Cash and the music world he admires. This reflects his deeper desire for recognition and validation in his own musical pursuits.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to navigate his interactions with fans and the changing world around him. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his rising fame and the societal events unfolding.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is emotional conflict in the scene, the primary focus is on the characters' internal struggles and reactions to external events rather than interpersonal conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from both external factors like the fans' intrusion and internal conflicts like Bob's emotional response to the news of President Kennedy's death.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of emotional impact and personal connection for the characters, as they grapple with the news of President Kennedy's death and its implications.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the characters' emotional responses to a significant event, setting the stage for further developments and character growth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, from moments of humor to sudden tragedy, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the contrast between personal connections and societal upheaval. Bob's desire to connect with Johnny Cash and his music contrasts with the larger historical event of President Kennedy's assassination.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and hope through the characters' reactions to the news of President Kennedy's death.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, thoughts, and relationships, adding depth to the scene and enhancing the overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of personal drama, historical significance, and emotional resonance. The interactions between characters and the unfolding events keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, moving between moments of quiet reflection and sudden action with skillful rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptive action lines.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and timelines effectively to build tension and emotional impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Bob's correspondence with Johnny Cash, using the air sickness bag as a unique and memorable device. This choice adds a layer of authenticity and humor to the exchange, reflecting both the camaraderie and the struggles of musicians during this era.
  • The transition from the airplane to the cafe is smooth, but the abrupt shift to the somber news of JFK's assassination feels jarring. While it serves to heighten the emotional stakes, the tonal shift could be better foreshadowed or integrated to maintain narrative cohesion.
  • Bob's reaction to the letter is well-portrayed, showcasing his joy and connection to Cash. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of Bob's internal thoughts or feelings about his fame and the pressures that come with it, especially as he is interrupted by fans. This would add depth to his character and enhance the emotional resonance.
  • The use of Johnny Cash's voiceover is effective in providing context and continuity, but it could be more impactful if it directly related to Bob's current emotional state or the events unfolding around him. This would create a stronger thematic link between the two characters.
  • The depiction of the fans outside the cafe is lively and engaging, but it risks overshadowing Bob's moment of reflection. Balancing the external excitement with Bob's internal experience is crucial to maintain focus on his character's journey.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of introspection for Bob after reading Cash's letter, perhaps reflecting on his own struggles or the nature of their friendship. This would deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • To enhance the transition to the JFK assassination news, consider incorporating a visual or auditory cue that hints at the impending tragedy, such as a news bulletin playing softly in the background of the cafe.
  • Explore the reactions of other patrons in the cafe to Bob's laughter and the fan's excitement. This could provide a richer context for Bob's fame and how it affects those around him.
  • Strengthen the connection between Johnny Cash's voiceover and Bob's emotional state by having Cash's words echo Bob's feelings about fame, perhaps touching on themes of isolation or the burdens of celebrity.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more poignant visual or auditory cue that ties Bob's personal experience to the national tragedy, perhaps by having the TV news report fade into the background as Bob's expression shifts from joy to shock.



Scene 33 -  The Newport Folk Festival: A Night of Anticipation
75 EXT. NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- 1964 -- DAY 75

SIGNS PROCLAIM “1964 NEWPORT FOLK”. It is springtime. Young
people pack a great meadow, a glistening blue bay on the
horizon, dotted with skiffs. On the stage --

JOAN SINGS
Show me the country where the bombs
had to fall. Show me the ruins of the
buildings once so tall. And I'll show
you a young land with so many reasons
why. There but for fortune go you and
I.. You and I

As Joan strums the last chord, the crowd cheers and then
starts chanting “Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob!”

BOB WATCHES FROM BACKSTAGE as in the crowd he sees --

SYLVIE carrying two beers and sitting with her sister on a
blanket. Her eyes meet Bob.

IN THE WINGS -- An unsteady JOHNNY CASH clatters up backstage
steps with his band. Pete converges on them, Johnny muttering
about “damned airports”. He looks haggard, wired.

ONSTAGE-- Joan thanks the crowd, bids farewell. She glances
toward Bob as she exits but Bob feels Sylvie watching him.
Joan moves on, wounded.

Nearby, Lomax, Grossman and a short man in denim, HAROLD
LEVENTHAL pat each other on the back.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
We’re back in business, boys.

Pete Seeger approaches Bob.

PETE
Bobby, you mind if I let Johnny Cash
go on before you? He was supposed to
be here yesterday, but..

BOB
Sure, Pete. No sweat.

Pete rushes back out to the mic at center stage.
“Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob!” chants the crowd.

PETE
..Yes, yes, Bobby will be out! But our
next performer, well, if you check
your programs, he was supposed to be
here last night.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 60.


Backstage, Bob looks back at Johnny Cash tuning his Gibson..

PETE (CONT’D)
He was on the West Coast yesterday and
found out the hard way, you can’t get
from Las Vegas to Newport, Rhode
Island, in one day.

Bob bashfully plants himself in front of Johnny Cash.

BOB
Hey, Johnny. Hey, man. I’m--

JOHNNY CASH
Bobby Dylan! Hoo Hooo! Come here, you!
(pulls him in a bear hug)
I read that last letter six times!
That thing was economy sized!
(to his bandmates)
Marshall, Luther, this is Bobby Dylan!

Greetings are exchanged as meanwhile, ONSTAGE :

PETE
--But the good news is Johnny’s here..
So, without further pontification --

JOHNNY CASH
Maybe we get us a drink tonight --
(swings his guitar round)
-- after the show?

BOB
Alright. I think I’m up after you.

But Johnny’s already left for the stage.

PETE
-- let me introduce, Johnny Cash and
the Tennessee Three!

The crowd roars... and Bob watches as the Tennessee Three
plug in and start up with a rhythm. Then Cash steps up to the
mic and lets loose with a growl.

JOHNNY CASH SINGS
Well, I taught that weeping willow how
to cry, cry, cry. I taught the clouds
how to cover up a clear blue sky. The
tears I cried for that woman are gonna
flood you, big river. And I'm a gonna
sit right here until I die.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 61.
Genres: ["Musical","Drama"]

Summary At the Newport Folk Festival in 1964, Joan Baez captivates the audience with her performance, prompting chants for Bob Dylan. Backstage, Bob observes the crowd and interacts with Johnny Cash, who arrives looking worn but enthusiastic. As Pete Seeger introduces Johnny Cash to the eager audience, the tension of performance expectations shifts, culminating in Cash taking the stage to enthrall the crowd.
Strengths
  • Authentic portrayal of folk music scene
  • Emotional resonance of performances
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the essence of the folk music movement, showcasing the talent and camaraderie of the musicians while evoking a sense of nostalgia and hope.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of bringing together iconic folk musicians at a festival setting is engaging and allows for exploration of themes such as camaraderie, artistic expression, and the power of music.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the performances at the Newport Folk Festival, the interactions between the musicians, and the emotional dynamics at play, moving the story forward effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the folk music scene of the 1960s, blending historical accuracy with fictionalized interactions between real-life musicians. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, and Joan Baez, are well-developed and their interactions add depth and authenticity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not significant character development in this scene, the interactions between the characters reveal nuances in their personalities and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his relationships with other musicians and industry figures, particularly Johnny Cash and Pete Seeger. This reflects his desire for recognition and acceptance within the folk music community.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to perform at the festival and connect with the audience through his music. This goal reflects his immediate challenge of following Johnny Cash's performance and maintaining the crowd's energy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some tension and competition between the musicians, the overall tone is more about collaboration and shared passion for music.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges in following Johnny Cash's performance, navigating his relationships with other musicians, and connecting with the audience. The audience is unsure of how these obstacles will be overcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on artistic expression and camaraderie than on high-stakes conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the evolving dynamics between the characters and the impact of their performances on the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between characters, such as Johnny Cash's surprise appearance and the protagonist's backstage encounters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the traditional folk music represented by Joan Baez and the more contemporary sound of Johnny Cash. This conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs about authenticity and commercial success in music.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, joy, and melancholy through the music and interactions between the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, reflecting the personalities of the characters and enhancing the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its vibrant setting, dynamic character interactions, and emotional performances by the musicians. The audience is drawn into the world of the Newport Folk Festival and invested in the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension and excitement as the protagonist prepares to perform, with moments of reflection and interaction between characters interspersed with musical performances. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a screenplay set at a music festival, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a music festival performance, with a buildup of tension and energy leading to the protagonist's eventual performance. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the atmosphere of the Newport Folk Festival, immersing the audience in the vibrant energy of the event. The descriptions of the setting, such as 'a glistening blue bay on the horizon' and 'young people pack a great meadow,' create a vivid backdrop that enhances the emotional stakes of the characters' interactions.
  • Joan's performance serves as a powerful opening, and her lyrics resonate with the themes of fortune and fate, which are central to the narrative. However, the transition from her performance to the crowd chanting for Bob feels slightly abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The introduction of Johnny Cash is well-executed, showcasing his character's charm and camaraderie with Bob. The bear hug and playful banter between them effectively convey their friendship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity to deepen their connection and provide insight into their relationship.
  • The emotional tension between Bob and Sylvie is palpable, especially with her watching him from the audience. However, the scene could explore this tension further by incorporating more internal conflict for Bob as he navigates his feelings for Sylvie amidst the chaos of the festival.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the dialogue could be tightened in places to maintain momentum. For instance, some of Pete's lines could be more concise to keep the audience engaged and focused on the unfolding action.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob as he watches Joan perform, allowing the audience to see his emotional response to her song and how it relates to his own journey.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Bob and Johnny Cash by including a specific reference to their previous correspondence or shared experiences, which would add depth to their interaction.
  • Incorporate a visual cue or gesture from Sylvie that indicates her feelings for Bob, such as a lingering gaze or a subtle smile, to heighten the emotional stakes of their connection.
  • Smooth out the transition from Joan's performance to the crowd chanting for Bob by including a moment where the audience's energy shifts, perhaps through a close-up of their faces or a collective cheer that builds anticipation.
  • Revise Pete's dialogue to be more succinct, focusing on key points that maintain the audience's attention and drive the narrative forward without unnecessary exposition.



Scene 34 -  A Moment of Change at Newport
76 EXT. NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- 1964 -- LATER 76

WE FOLLOW JOAN BAEZ in the wings as she crosses to see JOHNNY
CASH finishing his set with FOLSOM PRISON BLUES.

JOHNNY CASH
Thank you, Newport! Well, the next
fella up is my pen pal. And sometimes,
when I read his letters, I think I see
his brain. And when I do, I think his
world is just a blank piece of paper
with a few marks on it.

CLOSE ON -- BOB, grinning, listening in the wings.

JOHNNY CASH (CONT’D)
‘Don’t know about you but I think
they’re some of the best marks ever
made. The kind that never fade.
..Anyways. All I know is he better
sing ‘bout that rooster crowing till
the break of dawn cause I wanna learn
those damned words!
(a cheer rises)
..Ladies and gents, Mr. Bob Dylan!

Bob strides to the stage with his Nick Lucas, nodding to
Johnny, who waves and exits. The crowd roars.

BOB
Hey, there. Hello, Newport.
(looks to the wings)
Thanks, Johnny. We’ll get to the
rooster a little later. Here’s a new
one. Hope you think it’s good. It’s
gotta be good for somebody.

Bob strums the pulsing intro of a new anthem and--

BOB SINGS
Come gather 'round people wherever you
roam. And admit that the waters around
you have grown.

Bob’s eyes find Sylvie in the crowd. Her sister and
girlfriends smile and cheer but Sylvie seems ambivalent.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
And accept it that soon you'll be
drenched to the bone.. if your time to
you is worth savin'.

Bob’s eyes travel to others in the crowd, strangers who look
at him in rapture. Then to Pete, backstage.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 62.


BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
You better start swimmin' Or you'll
sink like a stone For the times they
are a-changin'.

Beside Pete, Lomax, Grossman and Leventhal listen, glowing in
wonder, as does Johnny Cash, with reverence.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Come senators, congressmen, please
heed the call. Don't stand in the
doorway, don't block up the hall.

Now, Bob’s eyes land on Joan in the opposite wings. Tears in
her eyes. Filled with admiration and can’t hide it.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
For he that gets hurt will be he who
has stalled. The battle outside ragin'
will soon shake your windows and
rattle your walls..

CLOSER ON -- PETE. Mary Travers and Peter Yarrow join Lomax
and Leventhal around him, staring to the stage as --

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Come mothers and fathers throughout
the land. And don't criticize what you
can't understand. Your sons and your
daughters are beyond your command.

The crowd roars.

PETER YARROW
He’s taking it all. ..he’s swinging
for the fences..

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
He’s our Elvis.

ALAN LOMAX
Elvis without the bullshit.

If there was a moment in folk history when the kingdom
appeared united and ascendant, this is it. Bob on the throne.

BOB SINGS
The line it is drawn, the curse it is
cast. The slow one now will later be
fast..

Sylvie’s eyes meet Bob’s on stage.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 63.


BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
As the present now will later be past.
The order is rapidly fadin'. And the
first one now will later be last..
For the times they are a-changin'!

..A HUGE CHEER. Pete’s eyes find Toshi backstage and he
smiles. Joan slides away as the cheers fade and we--

FADE TO BLACK.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At the Newport Folk Festival in 1964, Joan Baez watches Johnny Cash conclude his set with 'Folsom Prison Blues' before he humorously introduces Bob Dylan. Dylan captivates the audience with 'The Times They Are a-Changin',' evoking strong emotions, particularly from Joan, who is moved to tears. The performance resonates with the crowd, including the ambivalent Sylvie, and garners admiration from figures backstage. The scene culminates in a powerful cheer, symbolizing a pivotal moment in folk music history and the shift towards a new cultural voice.
Strengths
  • Powerful performance by Bob Dylan
  • Emotional depth and impact
  • Effective portrayal of key characters and their reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on external conflict
  • Some characters' reactions could be further explored

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, artistically significant, and showcases a transformative moment in the narrative. The performance by Bob Dylan is captivating and resonates with the audience, setting the tone for the evolving times.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of highlighting Bob Dylan's pivotal performance at the Newport Folk Festival and its significance in the folk music scene is compelling and well-realized. The scene effectively conveys the themes of change, unity, and artistic influence.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan's performance and its impact on the audience and other characters, driving the narrative forward and highlighting key themes of the story. The scene contributes significantly to the overall plot development.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases a fresh approach to storytelling by blending historical events with fictionalized interactions between iconic figures. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Johnny Cash, and Pete Seeger, are well-developed and their reactions to the performance add depth and emotion to the scene. The interactions between characters enhance the storytelling.

Character Changes: 8

While there is not a significant character arc in this specific scene, the emotional impact of Bob Dylan's performance and the reactions of characters like Joan Baez and Johnny Cash hint at internal changes and growth.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to inspire and provoke thought through his music. Bob Dylan wants to convey a message of social change and challenge the audience's perspectives on the world around them.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a powerful performance that resonates with the audience and leaves a lasting impact. He aims to connect with the crowd and convey his message effectively through his music.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a sense of tension and anticipation in the scene, particularly in the reactions of characters to Bob Dylan's performance, the conflict is more internal and emotional rather than external. The focus is on the transformative moment rather than overt conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but present, with the societal norms and expectations acting as obstacles for the protagonist to overcome. The audience is left wondering how Bob Dylan's message will be received and whether it will lead to change.

High Stakes: 8

While the stakes are not explicitly high in terms of life or death situations, the emotional and cultural significance of Bob Dylan's performance and the reactions of characters elevate the stakes in the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by showcasing a key moment in Bob Dylan's career and the impact of his music on the folk music scene. It sets the stage for further developments and explores themes of change and artistic influence.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional reactions from the characters, the shifting dynamics between them, and the powerful message conveyed through the music. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of social change, activism, and challenging the status quo. Bob Dylan's message of 'The times they are a-changin'' directly challenges the existing societal norms and calls for a revolution in thinking.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of admiration, reverence, and wonder in both the characters and the audience. Bob Dylan's performance and the reactions of other characters create a deeply moving and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, with Bob Dylan's lyrics from 'The Times They Are A-Changin'' carrying significant weight and resonating with the audience and other characters. The dialogue effectively conveys the themes of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, thematic relevance, and historical significance. The interactions between characters, the powerful dialogue, and the musical performance captivate the audience and evoke a strong emotional response.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, building tension and emotion gradually to a climactic moment of unity and inspiration. The rhythm of the dialogue and the musical performance enhance the scene's effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's message.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-defined structure that builds tension and emotion, leading to a climactic moment of unity and inspiration. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's message.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the excitement and energy of a live performance, showcasing Bob Dylan's charisma and the audience's adoration. The use of Johnny Cash as a bridge between the two performers adds depth to the scene, highlighting the camaraderie within the folk music community.
  • The dialogue is engaging and humorous, particularly Johnny Cash's introduction of Bob. It sets a light-hearted tone that contrasts well with the serious themes of Bob's song, creating a layered emotional experience for the audience.
  • The visual elements are strong, with clear imagery of the crowd's reactions and the emotional responses of key characters like Sylvie and Joan. This helps to convey the impact of Bob's performance not just on the audience but also on those close to him.
  • The emotional stakes are heightened by the juxtaposition of Sylvie's ambivalence and Joan's tears, which adds complexity to Bob's performance. This tension could be further explored to deepen the character dynamics and the implications of Bob's rising fame on his relationships.
  • The pacing of the scene is well-structured, building up to Bob's performance and allowing for moments of reflection among the audience members. However, the transition from Johnny Cash's performance to Bob's could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of internal conflict for Bob before he steps on stage, reflecting his thoughts on the pressure of performing and the expectations placed on him. This could enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
  • Explore Sylvie's ambivalence further by including a line of dialogue or a brief flashback that hints at her feelings about Bob's fame and their relationship. This would provide more context for her emotional response during the performance.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the festival, such as the sounds of the crowd, the smell of food, or the visual spectacle of the setting. This would immerse the audience more fully in the scene.
  • Consider using a close-up shot of Bob's face during a particularly poignant moment in the song to capture his emotional state and connection to the lyrics, reinforcing the theme of change and the weight of his message.
  • To heighten the stakes, you might include a moment of doubt or hesitation from Bob as he begins to sing, allowing the audience to feel the tension before he fully commits to the performance.



Scene 35 -  The Last Note of Tradition
77 INT. THE KETTLE OF FISH -- SIX MONTHS LATER -- NIGHT 77

The cafe on MacDougal Bob long ago visited searching for
Woody. At the big table, a gathering of poets, hipsters,
musicians, among them and older bearded DAVE VAN RONK. A
waiter keeps the discussion fueled with beer and shots but--

Everyone is conscious of A FRIZZY-HAIRED MAN IN DARK GLASSES
sitting in the shadows at the end of the table--

IT IS BOB. Different. Smoking a Kool, in Ray Bans, half-
turned under a teased crop of hair, holding a notepad. He’s
scribbling, ignoring the conversation which, judging from the
eyes on him, exists mainly to get his attention.

FOLK MUSICIAN #1
I read Seeger was in Ghana. No doubt
giving his usual sermons to tribesmen.
(chuckles)
I’m sure he dusted off “Hammer” again.

A collective groan.

MARIA MULDAUR
Pete went to Africa with his family to
sing for human rights. And I’m sorry,
but there’s no dust on “Hammer”. That
tune is forever.
(off their reaction)
He just had a hit with “Little Boxes.”

DAVE VAN RONK
Number 70 is not a hit.

MARIA MULDAUR
You want him to compete with the
fucking Beatles?

DAVE VAN RONK
Sam has a point, Maria, that’s all.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 64.


MARIA MULDAUR
(to the others)
‘You gonna say the same about Woody?
You tired of “This Land”?

FOLK MUSICIAN #1 FOLK MUSICIAN # 2
Yes! Woody ain’t singing anymore,
is he?

Now, Bob looks up.


FOLK MUSICIAN # 1 FOLK MUSICIAN # 2 (CONT’D)
Those songs are fried, man. Over covered, over-played.

MARIA MULDAUR
That’s the point of a folk song. Why
is it different than Jazz? Miles Davis
does standards.

FOLK MUSICIAN #1
He takes them so far out.

FOLK MUSICIAN # 2
The old folk chestnuts don’t reflect
where we’re living anymore.

A LOUD SOUND AS -- Bob knocks back his chair and stands,
snapping his notebook shut. Everyone turns. Startled.

BOB
Some people like them.

FOLK MUSICIAN #2
What?

BOB
Some people like those tunes.

Bob walks to the exit.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a Greenwich Village cafe, a group of musicians and poets debate the relevance of traditional folk music. Maria Muldaur passionately defends the genre, while others express their disillusionment. Bob Dylan, sitting in the shadows, quietly observes until he suddenly interjects, asserting that some still appreciate these songs. After making his point, he stands up and leaves, leaving the group in stunned silence.
Strengths
  • Rich character dynamics
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Exploration of music themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly predictable conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, introduces conflict effectively, and showcases character dynamics through dialogue.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the evolution of folk music and the resistance to change is engaging and thought-provoking.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the introduction of conflict and sets the stage for potential character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the folk music scene of the 1960s, with authentic character interactions and debates that feel true to the era. The dialogue is engaging and thought-provoking, adding originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and interactions, showcasing their individual perspectives and beliefs.

Character Changes: 7

Bob Dylan's appearance and reaction hint at potential character growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his appreciation for traditional folk music and defend its relevance in the changing cultural landscape. This reflects his desire to stay true to his roots and artistic integrity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to make a statement about the value of traditional folk music and challenge the dismissive attitudes of his peers. This reflects his immediate challenge of asserting his artistic identity in a changing music scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from differing opinions on folk music, adding depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and heated debates challenging the protagonist's beliefs and values. The audience is left unsure of how the confrontation will resolve.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of artistic integrity and personal beliefs, but not in a life-threatening sense.

Story Forward: 8

The scene sets up future conflicts and character arcs, moving the story forward effectively.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected outburst from the protagonist and the shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes by the conflicting viewpoints and heated discussions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the traditionalists who value the authenticity of folk music and the modernists who seek innovation and relevance in their art. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of tradition and authenticity in music.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is emotionally charged, the impact is more intellectual than deeply emotional.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging, revealing character traits and driving the conflict forward effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its lively debates, sharp dialogue, and character dynamics. The conflict and tension between the characters keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and conflict, with a gradual escalation of emotions and stakes. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's intensity and engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a historical drama genre. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's internal and external goals.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the atmosphere of a vibrant cafe filled with artists, which is a fitting setting for Bob Dylan's character at this point in his journey. However, the dialogue feels somewhat disjointed and lacks a clear focus. The conversation among the musicians could benefit from a more defined conflict or thematic exploration that ties back to Bob's character arc.
  • Bob's entrance and subsequent interruption of the conversation is impactful, but it could be enhanced by building more tension leading up to his outburst. The dialogue preceding his stand-up moment feels too casual and lacks the weight that would make Bob's interruption feel more significant. Consider adding more provocative statements from the other characters that challenge Bob's perspective or provoke a stronger emotional response.
  • The character dynamics at the table are interesting, but they could be fleshed out further. For instance, exploring the relationships between the musicians and their history with Bob would add depth to the scene. This could be achieved through more specific references to past interactions or shared experiences that highlight the tension between Bob and the folk community.
  • Bob's characterization as a 'frizzy-haired man in dark glasses' is visually striking, but it could be complemented with more internal conflict. The scene hints at Bob's disconnection from the folk scene, but it doesn't delve deeply into his feelings about this estrangement. Adding internal monologue or visual cues that reflect his emotional state could enhance the audience's understanding of his character.
  • The dialogue about folk music and its relevance is relevant to the themes of the screenplay, but it could be more engaging. The arguments presented feel somewhat generic and could benefit from more specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points being made. This would not only make the conversation more lively but also provide a clearer contrast to Bob's perspective.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the dialogue to create a more cohesive argument about the state of folk music, perhaps by introducing a specific event or recent change that has affected the musicians' views.
  • Enhance Bob's emotional journey by incorporating more of his internal thoughts or feelings about the conversation happening around him. This could be done through voiceover or visual storytelling techniques.
  • Add more character-specific dialogue that reflects each musician's unique perspective and history with Bob, which would deepen the audience's investment in the scene.
  • Build up to Bob's outburst by increasing the tension in the conversation, perhaps by having the other musicians make more pointed criticisms of his work or the folk genre as a whole.
  • Consider including a moment of silence or a pause after Bob's interruption to allow the weight of his words to resonate with the audience and the other characters before he exits.



Scene 36 -  A Night of Playfulness on Macdougal Street
78 EXT. MACDOUGAL STREET -- SAME 78

Bob busts out of the Kettle of Fish and walks along the
streets of the village. WE FOLLOW HIM --

As he passes bars, clubs, record stores WE HEAR: a collage of
music in the air. The place is different too. More money,
more tourists. Bob leaves a wake of passersby staring.

A jukebox plays The Supremes, “Back in My Arms Again”; from
the door of the Blue Note, Ornette works free-form;
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 65.


Peter, Paul and Mary sings “Puff the Magic Dragon” on a
passing radio; a chestnut vendor sings with Caruso.

BOB arrives at a TRIUMPH T100 at the curb. He’s about to
kickstart it when he spots something on a pushcart.

BOB
Hey. Can I see that?

The Vendor, suspicious, hands him A TOY POLICE SIREN. Bob
gives it a spin. Grins at the wailing sound.

VENDOR
You got kids?

BOB
Thousands of ‘em.
CUT TO:
79 EXT. BOB CRUISES ON THE TRIUMPH -- NIGHT -- SAME 79

He weaves through the traffic, no helmet. Stops for a
light on Sixth. Passengers in a car do a double take.

PASSENGER
Hey. Are you..?

BOB
Yes.

Bob guns the engine and jumps the light.
CUT TO:
80 MOVED TO A89 80

81 MOVED TO C89 81
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary Bob exits the Kettle of Fish and strolls along the lively Macdougal Street, filled with music and tourists. He engages in a playful exchange with a vendor over a toy police siren, humorously claiming to have 'thousands of kids.' After enjoying the toy, he hops on his Triumph T100 motorcycle, where a passenger in a nearby car recognizes him. With a sense of adventure, Bob speeds off at a traffic light, embodying the carefree spirit of the vibrant nightlife.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of changing times
  • Strong atmosphere and tone
  • Authentic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Minimal external conflict
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively portrays the changing times and Bob Dylan's response to them, with a mix of nostalgia, reflection, and rebellion. The tone and sentiment are well-balanced, creating a compelling atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Bob Dylan's response to changing times and his non-conformity is engaging and well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the clash between commercialization and artistic integrity.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot focuses more on capturing a moment in Bob Dylan's life rather than advancing a specific narrative, it effectively highlights his character and the themes of rebellion and nostalgia.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to character interactions and setting descriptions, with a focus on sensory details and subtle conflicts. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Bob Dylan, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing his rebellious spirit and non-conformist attitude. The interactions with the vendors and passersby add depth to the character.

Character Changes: 7

Bob Dylan undergoes a subtle change in the scene, transitioning from observing the changing environment to embracing his rebellious spirit and non-conformity. The scene marks a shift in his attitude.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find a moment of joy or amusement, as seen when he interacts with the toy police siren and grins at the wailing sound. This reflects his desire for a simple, carefree moment amidst the chaos of the city.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to potentially find something interesting or entertaining, as shown when he spots something on a pushcart and asks to see it. This goal reflects his curiosity and willingness to engage with his surroundings.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is more internal, focusing on Bob Dylan's struggle with the changing times and his own identity as an artist. The external conflict is minimal but adds to the atmosphere.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with the Vendor's suspicion providing a small obstacle for Bob to overcome, adding tension and intrigue to the interaction.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are more personal and internal, focusing on Bob Dylan's identity and artistic integrity. While not high in a traditional sense, they are significant for his character development.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Bob Dylan's response to the changing times and setting the stage for his continued evolution as an artist. It marks a significant moment in his journey.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between Bob and the Vendor, as well as the lively atmosphere of the village setting that adds an element of surprise.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between the Vendor's suspicion and Bob's playful demeanor. This conflict challenges the idea of trust and assumptions based on appearances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through its nostalgic tone, reflective atmosphere, and Bob Dylan's rebellious spirit. The audience can empathize with his struggle and defiance.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, reflecting Bob Dylan's character and the changing times. The interactions with the vendors and passersby are authentic and add to the atmosphere.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its vibrant setting, character interactions, and subtle conflicts that keep the audience interested in Bob's journey and experiences.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and description that keeps the story moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue that enhance the visual and auditory experience for the reader.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, effectively engaging the audience and advancing the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of Macdougal Street, showcasing the eclectic mix of music and culture that defines the era. However, the transition from the previous scene feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Bob's defense of traditional folk music could be better reflected in his demeanor as he exits the Kettle of Fish, perhaps showing a moment of contemplation or frustration before he bursts into the lively street.
  • The dialogue with the vendor is humorous and light, which contrasts with the more serious tone of the previous scene. While this contrast can be effective, it may benefit from a smoother transition that connects Bob's internal conflict about music with his playful interaction with the vendor. This could deepen the audience's understanding of Bob's character and his relationship with the changing music scene.
  • The description of the music collage is vivid and engaging, but it may overwhelm the reader with too many references at once. Consider focusing on one or two key musical elements that resonate with Bob's character or the themes of the scene, allowing for a more impactful auditory experience.
  • Bob's interaction with the toy police siren is a charming moment that adds levity, but it could be enhanced by exploring Bob's thoughts or feelings about the commercialization of music and culture. This could create a deeper connection between his playful actions and the underlying themes of authenticity and change.
  • The scene ends with Bob's confident response to the passenger, which is a strong character moment. However, it might be more impactful if Bob's reaction to being recognized included a hint of vulnerability or reflection on his fame, reinforcing the tension between his public persona and private self.
Suggestions
  • Add a brief moment of reflection for Bob as he exits the Kettle of Fish, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his previous conversation before he immerses himself in the lively street.
  • Consider revising the dialogue with the vendor to include a line that subtly hints at Bob's thoughts on the changing music scene, creating a thematic link between his playful interaction and his internal conflict.
  • Streamline the musical references to focus on one or two that particularly resonate with Bob, enhancing the scene's auditory experience without overwhelming the reader.
  • Explore Bob's feelings about the toy police siren further, perhaps by having him reflect on the innocence of childhood or the commercialization of music, adding depth to the moment.
  • Incorporate a moment of vulnerability in Bob's response to the passenger, allowing the audience to see the contrast between his public persona and his private struggles.



Scene 37 -  A Night of Anticipation
82 INT. HAROLD LEVENTHAL’S APARTMENT -- NIGHT 82

A large well appointed apartment, crowded with guests
gathered to raise money for SNCC (a prominent Civil Rights
Organization). Posters for the cause hang everywhere.

BOB AND A NEW GIRLFRIEND (BECKA) are greeted by HAROLD
LEVENTHAL. Becka is urbane and poised. Harold ushers them
through the party, a cross-section of uptown, downtown,
affluent and academic. Bob sees --

ALBERT GROSSMAN. He’s staked out a corner spot where he can
take in everything. He nods to Bob. Bob keeps moving.

PARTY GUEST 1
Read Herbert Marcuse. No song can
change the world. It’s too fucked up.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 66.


PARTY GUEST 2
(looks at Bob)
That’d be news to him.

Harold keeps his arm around Bob. “This way, this way.” A
current follows them. Bob trades a look with Becka.

PARTY GUEST 3
There’s a lot of people working for
change. He’s not the only one.

PARTY GUEST 4 (TILDA)
Hey Bob.. Bob! I love tambourine man!

BOB
(still moving)
Hey, Tilda. Thanks.

TILDA
When’s the new album out?

BOB
Soon.

PARTY GUEST 3
Hey! Bob, can songs really change
things?!

BOB
They change keys.

PARTY GUEST 5
He doesn’t look like much. Where does
it all come from?

Across the room, Bob sees --

Toshi and Pete (guitar on his back) entertaining a circle of
admirers. We catch a snippet as Pete and Bob trade glances--

PETE
..we’re making real progress, Betty.
Folk is reaching the four corners of--

Suddenly, Alan Lomax, holding a drink, wraps Bob in a clutch.

ALAN LOMAX
Bobby! We miss you at the Archive!
Word on the street is you’re making a
lotta noise in studio A these days.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 67.


BOB
Hey there, Alan.
(turns)
..This is Becka.

BECKA
Nice to meet you, Alan.

ALAN LOMAX
You don’t have to compete with the
Beatles, Bobby. You’re better than
that shit.

Harold Leventhal peeks around Bob’s shoulder.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
You didn’t bring your guitar, Bobby.
‘Saving yourself for your little tour
with Joanie?

Becka reacts with a look to Bob. Albert Grossman arrives.

ALBERT
Not little, Harold. Sold out.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Well, the last thing I want to do is
put pressure on you, but the dirty
secret is that most everybody here is
here because they were hoping you’d
play something.

BOB
Where’d they get that idea, Harold?
(to Albert)
Is this a fucking gig?

ALBERT
It’s anything you want it to be.

PETE
Hey there, Bobby!

Pete and Toshi land in front of Bob. They embrace Bob. Becka
stands there, smiling. Bob is glad to see them.

BOB
Hey! Pete! Toshi! Welcome back! Heard
you went round the world in 80 days!

PETE
We had a beautiful trip.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 68.


BOB
This is Becka.

PETE
It’s very nice to meet you, Becka.
This is Toshi, my wife.

BECKA
I love your music!

PETE
Thank you!
(off Leventhal’s look)
So, Bob, is Harold trying to get you
to sing something?
(off Bob’s pinched face)
It’s all for a good cause, Bobby. You
can use my guitar if you need one.

Bob notices Becka has slipped away.

BOB
You always keep it handy, huh Pete?
Like a gunfighter with a sixgun.

Everyone laughs.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At Harold Leventhal's fundraising party for SNCC, Bob arrives with his girlfriend Becka, navigating a lively crowd filled with friends and admirers. As guests discuss the role of music in social change, Bob feels the pressure to perform, hinted at by Harold and supported by friends like Pete and Alan Lomax. The atmosphere is charged with excitement and camaraderie, but Bob's reluctance to take the stage creates an underlying tension. The scene concludes with a humorous moment as Bob acknowledges Pete's offer of a guitar, leaving the possibility of a performance hanging in the air.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited action
  • Some characters underdeveloped

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines drama, music, and humor to create a compelling narrative. It introduces new elements while advancing existing character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan's reluctance to perform at a fundraising event, highlighting his complex relationships with music, fame, and social causes.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene advances the overall narrative by introducing new conflicts and relationships, setting the stage for future developments in Bob's journey.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the clash between art and activism, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel true to the setting and themes.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and interact in ways that reveal their motivations and personalities. Bob's internal struggle and external pressures are effectively portrayed.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in Bob's demeanor and relationships, the scene primarily sets the stage for potential character growth and conflicts in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate social interactions and expectations while maintaining his artistic integrity and independence. This reflects his deeper need for authenticity and creative freedom.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to decide whether or not to perform at the event, balancing his desire to support the cause with his reluctance to be pressured into performing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene contains moderate levels of conflict, primarily stemming from Bob's internal struggle and the external pressures he faces from the expectations of others.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting social expectations and personal desires creating tension and uncertainty for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in the scene, focusing on Bob's decision to perform or not at the fundraising event and the implications for his relationships and reputation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements, deepening existing relationships, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between characters and the protagonist's internal conflict, keeping the audience engaged and uncertain of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between artistic integrity and social expectations. The protagonist's reluctance to perform highlights the clash between personal expression and external demands.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and humor to introspection and camaraderie, drawing the audience into the characters' experiences.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, with a mix of serious and humorous exchanges that reveal the characters' dynamics and inner thoughts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic character interactions, witty dialogue, and underlying tension between personal and social expectations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively builds tension and character dynamics, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the vibrant atmosphere of a fundraising party, showcasing a diverse group of characters and their interactions with Bob. However, the dialogue can feel a bit heavy-handed at times, particularly with the party guests' comments about music and social change. This could be streamlined to avoid feeling overly expository.
  • Bob's character is somewhat passive in this scene, primarily reacting to others rather than driving the action or conversation. This could be an opportunity to deepen his character by showing more of his internal conflict or thoughts about the expectations placed on him.
  • The introduction of Becka as Bob's new girlfriend is intriguing, but her character lacks depth in this scene. Providing her with a distinct voice or perspective could enhance her role and make her interactions with Bob more meaningful.
  • The humor in the dialogue, particularly Bob's quip about songs changing keys, is a nice touch, but it could be more integrated into the overall flow of the conversation. Some lines feel like they are set up for a punchline rather than flowing naturally from the dialogue.
  • The scene ends with a humorous exchange between Bob and Pete, which is effective, but it might benefit from a stronger emotional or thematic resonance. Consider tying this moment back to the larger themes of the screenplay, such as the pressure of fame or the role of music in social change.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue among the party guests to make it feel more organic and less like a debate. This could involve using subtext to convey their opinions rather than explicit statements.
  • Give Becka a more active role in the scene. Perhaps she could engage in a conversation with another guest that reveals her own views on music or social change, which would help establish her character more clearly.
  • Explore Bob's internal thoughts or feelings about the pressure to perform at the party. This could be done through brief voiceovers or visual cues that show his discomfort or ambivalence.
  • Enhance the humor by incorporating more playful banter between Bob and the other characters, allowing for a more dynamic interaction that showcases Bob's wit and charm.
  • Consider ending the scene with a moment that reflects Bob's internal conflict or foreshadows future challenges, rather than just a humorous exchange. This could create a stronger narrative thread leading into the next scene.



Scene 38 -  A Harmonious Farewell
83 INT. LEVENTHAL APARTMENT -- MINUTES LATER 83

Becka watches from a distance as -- Bob sits, tuning PETE’S
guitar. He looks up to see STARING FACES around him, watching
like he was blowing glass in Venice.

Pete steps up, clears his throat, glances at Toshi.

PETE
Bobby’s songs are about what we hope
for. They renew us. That’s a lot to
say for someone who hasn’t been around
so long. But sometimes it seems to me
like Bobby’s been around forever.

Bob stares at the floor, listening respectfully.

PETE (CONT’D)
Bobby.. for Harold, the organization,
for all of us.. for everyone in folk
music.. thank you.

BOB
Well, thank you, reverend.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 69.


A laugh, and the room goes silent. Bob takes a beat..
then starts playing the intro for “When the Ship Comes In” :

Harold gestures to Tilda, pointing to a banjo on the wall.
She takes it down and the crowd passes it forward.

BOB SINGS
Oh the time will come. When the winds
will stop. And the breeze will cease
to be breathin’. Like the stillness in
the wind ’Fore the hurricane begins..

The banjo is passed to Harold, who hands it to Pete. Bob
sees, smiles. Pete sits down beside Bob and joins him
playing. And soon, Pete joins in singing :

BOB AND PETE SING
Oh the seas will split. And the ship
will hit. And the sands on the
shoreline will be shaking.

For a moment the tension around Bob has evaporated. They are
a happy pair, like father and son.

BOB AND PETE SING (CONT’D)
Oh, the fishes will laugh as they swim
out of the path. And the seagulls
they'll be a-smiling. And the rocks on
the sand. Will proudly stand, the hour
that the ship comes in!
CUT TO:
84 INT. LEVENTHAL APARTMENT -- LATER 84

Albert escorts Bob and Becka through a gauntlet positioned
along the route to the door. Harold swoops in.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Thanks, Bobby. And please don’t forget
the Sing Out benefit next month.

ALBERT
Talk to me about that, Harold.

BOB
And you got that TV thing, right,
Pete? When’s that?

PETE
Next Thursday. Albert’s got all the
particulars..

Bob gets swamped by others glad-handing as he exits.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 70.
Genres: ["Musical","Drama"]

Summary In the Leventhal apartment, Becka watches as Bob tunes Pete's guitar, while Pete expresses gratitude for Bob's musical contributions. They share a joyful moment singing 'When the Ship Comes In,' fostering a sense of camaraderie among the group. After their performance, Albert escorts Bob and Becka out, where Harold reminds Bob of an upcoming benefit event, and Bob checks in with Pete about a TV appearance.
Strengths
  • Heartfelt musical performance
  • Emotional resonance
  • Character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Lack of significant character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, emotionally resonant, and effectively conveys the themes of unity, gratitude, and the power of music. The musical performance adds depth and emotion to the narrative, making it a standout moment.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of showcasing a musical performance between Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger, highlighting their bond and the power of folk music, is well-executed and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene focuses on the musical performance and the interactions between the characters, effectively conveying themes of unity, gratitude, and the impact of music. It moves the story forward while providing emotional depth.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to showcasing the power of music in bringing people together and highlighting the emotional impact of folk music.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their bond, musical talents, and the impact they have on the audience. Their interactions and performances add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the bond between Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger is strengthened, showcasing their mutual respect and appreciation for each other's musical talents.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to feel appreciated and respected for his music and contribution to the folk music community.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate social interactions and commitments related to his music career, such as upcoming performances and events.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene has a low level of conflict, focusing more on unity, gratitude, and the power of music. The tension is mainly resolved through the musical performance and the interactions between the characters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is mild, with social obligations and commitments providing some conflict but not major obstacles.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on gratitude, unity, and the power of music. The emotional impact and character interactions drive the scene rather than high stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the impact of folk music, the unity within the folk music community, and the gratitude expressed by the characters. It adds depth and emotion to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in terms of the interactions and outcomes, but the emotional resonance keeps the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between the idea of music as a source of renewal and hope, and the practicalities of navigating the music industry and social obligations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, gratitude, and appreciation for the power of music. The musical performance and character interactions resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is heartfelt and reflective, effectively conveying the emotions and themes of unity, gratitude, and the power of music. It enhances the character interactions and the musical performance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters and the sense of community and connection portrayed.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed and enhances the flow of the dialogue and action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's goals and the dynamics of the social interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the atmosphere of a folk music gathering, showcasing the camaraderie and respect among musicians. However, the dialogue could benefit from more naturalistic exchanges to enhance authenticity. For instance, Pete's speech feels somewhat formal and scripted, which may detract from the organic feel of a casual gathering.
  • The metaphor of Bob being watched like 'blowing glass in Venice' is vivid but may come off as overly poetic for the context. It could be simplified or replaced with a more relatable image that resonates with the audience's understanding of the pressure Bob feels in that moment.
  • The transition from tension to camaraderie is well-executed, but the emotional shift could be emphasized further. Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Bob as he begins to play, which would deepen the audience's connection to his character and the moment.
  • The use of music in the scene is a strong point, but the lyrics of 'When the Ship Comes In' could be referenced more subtly. Instead of having Bob sing the lyrics verbatim, consider having him start the song and then fade into the background, allowing the audience to feel the music's impact without being directly quoted.
  • The ending feels a bit abrupt as Bob is swamped by others. While this reflects the reality of fame, it might be more impactful to linger on Bob's emotional state as he exits, perhaps capturing a moment of reflection or uncertainty about his place in the folk music scene.
Suggestions
  • Revise Pete's dialogue to sound more conversational and less formal. This could involve using shorter sentences or incorporating more colloquial language that reflects the casual nature of the gathering.
  • Consider simplifying the metaphor about Bob being watched. A more straightforward comparison could enhance relatability and keep the focus on Bob's emotional experience.
  • Add internal monologue or subtle physical reactions from Bob as he begins to play, which would help convey his emotional journey and the significance of the moment.
  • Instead of having Bob sing the lyrics directly, consider having him start the song and then let the music take over, allowing the audience to feel the atmosphere without being explicitly told the lyrics.
  • Extend the scene's conclusion to include a moment of introspection for Bob as he exits, perhaps reflecting on the pressures of fame or his connection to the folk music community.



Scene 39 -  Burdened Expectations
85 INT. ELEVATOR -- SAME 85

Sudden quiet. Standing beside Becka, Bob rests his head
against the elevator wall, eyes shut.

BOB
Two hundred people in that room and
each one wants me to be somebody else.
They should all fuck off, let me be.

DISHEVELED GUY (O.S.)
Be what.

THERE’S ANOTHER GUY IN THE ELEVATOR, handsome, disheveled,
and a bit drunk. Bob looks at Becka.

BOB
Excuse me?

DISHEVELED GUY (O.S.)
..fuck off and let you be what?

BOB
I don’t know. But they sure do.

Becka stares at the drunk man. He smiles. This is BOBBY
NEUWIRTH, painter, musician and general cool cat.

NEUWIRTH
Since I’m not a horse I refuse to
carry other people’s weight.

BOB
Yeah. Well. I got a hundred pounds on
me that don’t show on the scale.

NEUWIRTH
Then how do you sing?

BOB
(fixes on him)
I put myself in another place.
But I’m a stranger there.
CUT TO:
86 EXT. WALKING ON THE STREET -- MOMENTS LATER 86

Bob, Becka and Neuwirth emerge from the building. Neuwirth
starts to head off with his guitar.

BOB
Hey. What’s your name, man?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 71.


NEUWIRTH
Bobby. Like you. Bobby Neuwirth.

BOB
(smiles)
‘Where you going now?

Becka makes a face, as in ‘what the fuck do you care?’.

NEUWIRTH
‘I got a gig with some mates at
McAnn’s, East village.

Bob nods.. watches Neuwirth walk off. Then he starts the
opposite way, oblivious to Becka who struggles to keep up.

BECKA
..Hey! ..Hey.

Bob keeps walking.

BECKA (CONT’D)
You have a tour with Joan Baez. Were
you gonna tell me about that?

Bob keeps walking.

BECKA (CONT’D)
..Am I just more weight?

Bob stops, turns. Points at Leventhal’s building.

BOB
They want to own me, Becka.
Is that what you want?

BECKA
I love you.

Bob starts walking again. Becka follows him.

BECKA (CONT’D)
Is that scary to you?

BOB
Well. I just met you. So. Yes.

Becka stops walking. Bob keeps walking.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 72.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In an elevator, Bob vents his frustration about conforming to others' expectations, feeling overwhelmed by their demands. He meets Bobby Neuwirth, a charismatic man who advocates for a carefree approach to life. After exiting, Bob's companion Becka confronts him about their relationship and her feelings for him, leading to tension as Bob struggles with emotional intimacy and the concept of ownership in relationships. The scene culminates in Bob walking away from Becka, leaving her questioning her place in his life.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Philosophical dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into Bob Dylan's internal conflict and emotional turmoil, providing depth to his character and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of fame, identity, and relationships is effectively explored through Bob's internal monologue and interactions with Becka and Neuwirth.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through Bob's internal conflict and the dynamics of his relationship with Becka, setting up potential conflicts and character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on themes of individuality, authenticity, and societal expectations, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel true to life. The characters' struggles and conflicts are portrayed in a nuanced and original way.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bob, Becka, and Neuwirth, are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity and emotion. Bob's internal struggle is particularly compelling.

Character Changes: 8

Bob undergoes a subtle but significant internal change, grappling with the weight of fame and the expectations placed upon him.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his individuality and resist the pressure to conform to others' expectations. This reflects his deeper need for authenticity and freedom of expression.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his relationships and commitments while maintaining his sense of self. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing personal and professional obligations.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is primarily internal, focusing on Bob's struggle with fame and identity, as well as his evolving relationship with Becka.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong but not overwhelming, providing a challenge for the protagonist to overcome while leaving room for uncertainty and character growth. The audience is kept engaged and invested in the outcome of the conflicts.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of Bob's personal identity and relationships, as well as the impact of fame on his life and decisions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene primarily focuses on character development and emotional exploration, setting the stage for potential conflicts and resolutions in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting desires and motivations, as well as the unexpected twists in their interactions and dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will navigate their challenges.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between societal expectations and individual authenticity. The characters grapple with the idea of personal freedom and self-expression in the face of external pressures.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions through Bob's internal turmoil and the poignant interactions between characters, particularly Bob and Becka.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional tension and conflict between Bob and Becka, as well as the philosophical exchange between Bob and Neuwirth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character dynamics, and thematic complexity. The dialogue and interactions draw the audience into the characters' inner struggles and external conflicts, creating a sense of tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of introspection and action, creating a sense of tension and emotional depth. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's impact and thematic resonance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive elements that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the narrative.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure with clear character motivations and development, building tension and conflict effectively. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's emotional impact and thematic depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bob's internal struggle with the pressures of fame and the expectations placed upon him by others. The dialogue between Bob and Neuwirth introduces a philosophical perspective that adds depth to the conversation, highlighting the theme of individuality versus societal expectations.
  • However, the transition from the elevator to the street feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Bob's frustration could be better conveyed through a more gradual shift in setting, allowing the audience to fully absorb the tension before moving to the next location.
  • Becka's character is somewhat underdeveloped in this scene. While her feelings for Bob are evident, her motivations and reactions could be more fleshed out to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience. This would enhance the stakes of their conversation and make Bob's responses more impactful.
  • The dialogue is sharp and engaging, but some lines could benefit from more subtext. For example, when Bob says, 'They want to own me, Becka. Is that what you want?' it could be more powerful if it were delivered with a mix of vulnerability and defensiveness, reflecting his fear of intimacy and commitment.
  • The use of humor in Neuwirth's lines adds a nice touch, but it might overshadow the gravity of Bob's situation. Balancing the humor with the seriousness of Bob's internal conflict could create a more nuanced emotional landscape.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or reflection after Bob's initial statement in the elevator to emphasize his emotional state before introducing Neuwirth. This could heighten the tension and allow the audience to connect more deeply with Bob's feelings.
  • Expand Becka's character by including a line or two that reveals her own struggles or insecurities regarding their relationship. This would create a more dynamic interaction and allow the audience to empathize with both characters.
  • Incorporate more physicality in the scene. For instance, Bob could exhibit body language that reflects his frustration, such as pacing or clenching his fists, which would visually communicate his emotional turmoil.
  • Consider revising some of the dialogue to include more subtext. For example, when Becka asks if she is 'just more weight,' Bob's response could hint at his fear of commitment without explicitly stating it, allowing the audience to infer deeper meanings.
  • To enhance the emotional impact, you might want to include a moment where Bob hesitates before responding to Becka's declaration of love. This pause could signify his internal conflict and make his eventual response more poignant.



Scene 40 -  Fame and Reflection
87 EXT. EAST VILLAGE STREETS -- NIGHT 87

Bob stands in front of an Irish bar. The pink neon reads --

MCANN’S. He hears A THUMPING BASS.
CUT TO:
88 INT. MCANN’S -- NIGHT 88

NEUWIRTH AND FOUR OTHERS play a set of raucous Celtic music.
Distorted and fast, infectious, like the Pogues.

Bob sits in a corner of the bar, sipping a drink. He watches
with fascination. More than anything, we see he is devouring
camaraderie of the band.

Neuwirth spots him, smiles. Bob raises his glass.

And suddenly, A DRUNK WOMAN SCREAMS.

DRUNK
No that’s HIM! That’s Bob-fucking-
Dylan! RIGHT THERE!

The drunk woman points, frantic, AND ALL HEADS TURN.

BOB MOVES FOR THE DOOR BUT SOMEONE GRABS HIS RAY BANS and, as
he tries to get them back, the wave of recognition spreads.

The crowd cuts off his exit. A MAN tries to grab him -- he
pushes him off -- and the man HITS BOB. The band stops as--

Bob stumbles to the floor and is suddenly grabbed by --

NEUWIRTH, WHO PULLS HIM TOWARD THE BACK OF THE CLUB.
CUT TO:
89 INT. SYLVIE’S APARTMENT -- NIGHT 89

BOB’S BANGS A DOOR. It opens to reveal --

SYLVIE, in a robe in a different apartment. Bob stumbles
inside and looks around.

SYLVIE
Bob. It’s four a.m. ..Bob.

Through the bedroom door, Bob sees A GUY SLEEPING ON HER BED.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
We broke up, remember.

Bob turns, numb, shuffling to the table. He sits. Sylvie
turns on a light and sees Bob’s lip is swollen, bloody.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 73.


SYLVIE (CONT’D)
(crossing to the sink)
Oh, Bob..

Sylvie hands him a wet cloth. He takes it and looks off.

BOB
..Everyone asks where the songs come
from, Sylvie. But if you watch their
faces, they’re not asking where the
songs come from. They’re asking why
the songs didn’t come to them..

GUY IN BEDROOM
Who is it, Sylvie?

Emotion rises in Bob’s eyes. He smiles sadly at Sylvie, gets
up with the cloth and walks out.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary Bob Dylan is drawn into the lively atmosphere of McCann's Irish bar, where he enjoys the music until a drunken woman recognizes him, causing chaos that leads to him being pushed to the floor. Neuwirth helps him escape to safety. Later, Bob visits Sylvie's apartment, where she tends to his injuries despite their breakup. This encounter prompts Bob to reflect on his music and the expectations surrounding it before he ultimately leaves.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Intimate portrayal
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful due to its emotional depth, character development, and intimate portrayal of Bob's inner struggles. The dialogue is poignant, and the setting enhances the mood effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring Bob's vulnerability and seeking comfort in a tumultuous moment is well-executed. It adds depth to his character and advances the narrative effectively.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in this scene focuses on Bob's emotional journey and the impact of his fame on his personal relationships. It adds layers to the overall story and sets up future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the theme of fame and creativity, with authentic character interactions and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters, especially Bob and Sylvie, are portrayed with depth and authenticity. Their interactions reveal layers of emotion and complexity, making them relatable and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

Bob experiences a moment of reflection and vulnerability, showing a deeper side of his character. This scene sets the stage for potential growth and development in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find solace and understanding in the midst of chaos and recognition. He seeks a sense of belonging and connection with others.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to escape the chaotic situation in the bar and find refuge with Sylvie.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Bob's struggles with fame and relationships. It adds depth to the character but is not overtly dramatic.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and uncertainty, driving the protagonist's actions and decisions.

High Stakes: 7

While the emotional stakes are high for Bob in this scene, the external stakes are relatively low. The focus is more on internal struggles and personal relationships.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by delving into Bob's emotional state and relationships, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions. It adds depth to the narrative and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its portrayal of fame and the protagonist's emotional journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of fame and the true source of inspiration for art. Bob's dialogue about the songs not coming to people challenges the audience to think about the nature of creativity and fame.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and empathy for Bob's struggles. It resonates with the audience on a deep emotional level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the emotional turmoil of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the audience's connection to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, dramatic conflict, and character dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, enhancing its overall effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, enhancing readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy of a bar environment, which contrasts well with Bob's introspective nature. However, the transition from the lively atmosphere of the bar to the emotional confrontation with Sylvie feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Bob's injuries and the tension with Sylvie could be better foreshadowed earlier in the scene to create a smoother transition.
  • The use of the drunk woman's outburst serves as a catalyst for the chaos, but it could be enhanced by providing more context about Bob's feelings towards fame and recognition at this point in his life. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the pressures he faces.
  • Bob's dialogue about the songs feels profound but could benefit from more specificity. Instead of a general statement about where songs come from, consider having him reflect on a specific experience or moment that illustrates his point. This would ground the dialogue in a more personal context and make it resonate more with the audience.
  • The physical altercation is a pivotal moment, but it feels somewhat rushed. Expanding on the crowd's reaction and Bob's internal struggle during this moment could heighten the tension and make the scene more impactful. Additionally, the description of the fight could be more vivid to convey the chaos and confusion of the moment.
  • Sylvie's reaction to Bob's injuries is a strong emotional beat, but her character could be further developed. Providing a glimpse into her feelings about their breakup and her current situation would add depth to her response and create a more complex dynamic between them.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob before he enters the bar, perhaps showing his hesitance or desire to escape the pressures of fame. This would set the stage for the chaos that follows.
  • Enhance the drunk woman's dialogue to include a more personal or humorous touch, which could add to the chaos while also providing insight into Bob's public persona.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the bar scene to immerse the audience in the atmosphere—describe the sounds, smells, and sights that surround Bob as he navigates the chaos.
  • Expand the physical confrontation to include more reactions from the crowd, emphasizing the unpredictability of fame and how it can turn a moment of joy into chaos.
  • After Bob's dialogue about songs, consider adding a moment of silence or a poignant look exchanged between him and Sylvie, which could heighten the emotional stakes before he leaves.



Scene 41 -  Melancholy Reflections
A89 INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- MORNING A89

“Maggies’ farm.” “pray.” “rain.” “what a drag it is to see
you..” “get dressed, get blessed. be a success.”

WE PAN ACROSS PAPERS AND NOTEBOOKS, phrases and fragments
scribbled everywhere to find --

BOB, smokes, his guitar beside him in the bed he shared with
Sylvie. Her paintings gone. All signs of her gone.

Then, Bob hears something. He sits up. A distant electric
guitar arpeggio, snare and organ and a wailing voice.

Bob crosses to the window, throws it open to hear the faint
music coming from a radio on the street.

He crosses to his own radio, snaps it on and swings the
tuning dial till he find the same groove.

It is The Animals doing a brooding rock and roll rendition of
“House of the Rising Sun”

THE ANIMALS SING
Mothers, tell your children not to do
what I have done. Spend your lives in
sin and misery. In the House of the
Rising Sun..

Bob cracks the radio louder, listening to the band play on.
The music becomes score and takes us through a --
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 74.

B89 MONTAGE -- INT. BOB’S APARTMENT -- NIGHT B89

-- Bob sits at his desk, punching keys on his Underwood.

-- Bob scribbles while in a bathtub, smoking.

-- Bob on the phone.

BOB
That Chicago guy, Bloomfield.

ALBERT GROSSMAN (ON PHONE)
It’s short notice, Bob.

BOB
Just find some session players,
Albert. Bass, guitar, organ and drums.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In Bob's cluttered apartment, he grapples with memories of Sylvie while listening to 'House of the Rising Sun.' As he opens the window to let in the music, a montage unfolds, showcasing his creative process—writing, bathing, and making a phone call to Albert Grossman about session players for a recording. The scene captures Bob's internal conflict between his emotional struggles and his determination to advance his music career.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Atmospheric storytelling
  • Character introspection
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys Bob's emotional state through the use of music and visual cues. The introspective nature of the scene resonates with the audience, creating a poignant moment of reflection.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of using music as a tool to explore Bob's emotional state is well-executed. The scene effectively conveys his inner turmoil and longing through the choice of song and visual cues.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene does not significantly advance the plot, it provides valuable insight into Bob's character and emotional journey. It adds depth to his story and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its focus on the protagonist's emotional journey, unique setting, and the integration of music as a central theme. The authenticity of Bob's actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Bob's character is well-developed in this scene, showcasing his vulnerability and introspective nature. The scene allows the audience to connect with Bob on a deeper level, understanding his inner struggles.

Character Changes: 7

While Bob does not undergo significant changes in this scene, it deepens the audience's understanding of his character and emotional journey. The scene sets the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to find solace and inspiration through music after the departure of his partner Sylvie. This reflects his deeper need for emotional connection and creative fulfillment.

External Goal: 7

Bob's external goal is to organize a music session with session players, reflecting his immediate circumstances of wanting to continue his music career and find success in the industry.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

There is minimal external conflict in the scene, with the primary focus on Bob's internal struggles and emotions. The conflict arises from his past relationship and the sense of loss he feels.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Bob's internal struggles and external challenges in the music industry, creating a sense of conflict and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on Bob's internal struggles and emotions rather than external conflicts. The emotional stakes are high, however, as Bob grapples with his past relationship and sense of loss.

Story Forward: 6

The scene does not significantly move the main plot forward but provides valuable insight into Bob's character and emotional state. It sets the stage for future developments and character growth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of how Bob will navigate his emotional turmoil and career aspirations, keeping the audience invested in his journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the tension between personal fulfillment through music and the practicalities of the music industry. Bob's desire for artistic expression clashes with the need for commercial success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of sadness, longing, and empathy from the audience. Bob's vulnerability and introspection create a powerful emotional connection with viewers.

Dialogue: 6

There is minimal dialogue in the scene, with the focus primarily on Bob's actions and emotions. The sparse dialogue enhances the sense of solitude and introspection portrayed in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, the use of music to convey mood, and the protagonist's relatable struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution with the music montage.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a typical format for a character-driven, music-themed scene, with a clear progression of actions and emotions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bob's emotional state through the use of visual elements, such as the scattered papers and the absence of Sylvie's belongings, which symbolize his sense of loss and disconnection. This sets a poignant tone that resonates with the audience.
  • The transition from the quiet of Bob's apartment to the distant music creates a strong auditory cue that draws the viewer into Bob's world. The choice of 'House of the Rising Sun' is particularly fitting, as it reflects themes of struggle and regret, aligning with Bob's current emotional turmoil.
  • The montage sequence is well-structured, showcasing Bob's creative process and the chaotic nature of his life. However, the montage could benefit from more varied visuals to enhance the emotional depth and keep the audience engaged. For instance, including close-ups of Bob's expressions or the details of his writing could add layers to his character.
  • The dialogue with Albert Grossman is brief but effective in conveying Bob's urgency and determination to move forward with his music. However, it feels somewhat abrupt. Expanding this exchange could provide more insight into Bob's mindset and the pressures he faces in the music industry.
  • The scene ends with a clear sense of direction as Bob seeks session players, which is a strong narrative choice. However, it might be beneficial to include a moment of reflection or hesitation from Bob before making the call, emphasizing his internal conflict and the weight of his decisions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or memory of Sylvie to deepen the emotional impact of her absence. This could help the audience connect more with Bob's feelings of loss.
  • Enhance the montage by incorporating more dynamic shots, such as close-ups of Bob's hands on the typewriter or guitar, to visually represent his creative struggle and the physicality of his art.
  • Expand the dialogue with Albert Grossman to include more of Bob's thoughts on the music industry or his personal struggles, which would provide greater context for his urgency and emotional state.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or stillness after Bob turns on the radio, allowing the audience to absorb the significance of the music before transitioning into the montage. This could heighten the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Consider using a voiceover of Bob's thoughts or lyrics during the montage to further illustrate his internal conflict and creative process, making the scene more immersive.



Scene 42 -  Jam Session: A Day in Columbia Studio A
C89 INT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- DAY C89

CLOSE ON -- BOB, at a mic, sings “Subterranean Homesick
Blues” as WE PULL BACK to reveal he’s grooving with A FULL
BAND OF SESSION PLAYERS.

BOB SINGS
..get born, keep warm, short pants,
romance, learn to dance, get dressed,
get blessed, try to be a suc-cess,
please her, please him..

Tom Wilson, Albert Grossman and Hammond in the control room,
watching, mouthes open. Wilson looks at Hammond who looks at
Albert. An assistant crosses past and seems startled.

JOHN HAMMOND
This is gonna piss some people off.
He’s a solo act, not a band.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
It’s an experiment. We can put it out
as single when we go to London.

BOB SINGS
..jump down a manhole, light yourself
a candle. Don’t wear sandals, try to
avoid the scandals. Don’t wanna be a
bum, you better chew gum, pump don’t
work ‘cause vandals took the handles.

The band comes to a crashing stop, Bob and the band laughing
at themselves. Bob seems elated, even giddy.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 75.


BOB
Gotta figure out the end. Maybe Tom
can do one of them fades like the
Temptations..
CUT TO:
90 THE SCREEN IS FILLED WITH B&W VIDEO 90

A TV TITLE SEQUENCE -- Pete Seeger plays a banjo and sings
“Oh had I a golden thread...” as titles “Rainbow Quest” and
“with Pete Seeger” appear over a shaky dolly-in to the host.

PETE
Evening folks. Thanks for dropping by.

WIDER ON -- NEW JERSEY STUDIO -- NIGHT

Pete’s easy-going manner is right at home on LIVE TV.

PETE
If you tuned in tonight to see our
friend Bob Dylan, you’re gonna have to
wait, cause we just got word he’s been
delayed, stuck at a session. But you
won’t be disappointed, I promise.

He ambles to the other side of the set.

PETE (CONT’D)
A friend from the deep Delta, Jesse
Moffette, is in town this week
headlining at Folk City, and he jumped
a cab to join us live here at NJU.
Jesse, good to see ya.

Pete sits down next to A TOWERING BLUESMAN in tie and
jacket, holding a guitar. There’s a harmonica rack around his
neck. High conk and wraparound shades. Jesse pulls out a
bottle of peppermint schnapps, and interrupts a healthy swig.

JESSE MOFFETTE
Not headlining. I open, then this
white boy with a sketchy beard comes
on after me and it’s like he’s reading
the paper. He just sings the damned
headlines..

Jesse holds the bottle out to Pete.

PETE
Not while I’m working, thanks.

Jesse squints at the small audience sitting on rows of
bleachers just off-camera.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 76.


JESSE MOFFETTE
..No other way. Gotta have my peppy.
What station we on anyway?

He clears his throat, spitting into a handkerchief.

PETE
Educational.. Public access.

JESSE MOFFETTE
Shit.. I do educational. Offer blues
lessons in the privacy of your own
home.
(right in the lens)
You want to learn the blues? Call me
at Rhinelander four eight six oh two.

PETE
Jesse, I think it would be good to--

JESSE MOFFETTE
(still in the lens)
Come and see me and bring a bottle of
anything that ain’t pasteurized.

Then he bears down on the guitar, playing a dark and
astonishing blues. Pete looks on, compelled.

ACROSS THE STUDIO -- The studio audience and crew react as
Bob arrives and stands off camera beside NEUWIRTH. Bob straps
on his Gibson. He seems a bit buzzed.

NEUWIRTH
You hear what that cat is playing?
That shit is real.

A FLOOR DIRECTOR intervenes as Bob moves toward the stage.

DIRECTOR
We had to start without you, Mr Dylan.
I’m so sorry. We’re live now and I
can’t just let you walk out there.

BOB
(eyes his name tag)
Well, I’m not looking to break
anything up, Jonah.

As Jesse finishes a soulful tune, Pete glances up, sees Bob.

PETE
Oh. Bob! Come on out. Glad you could
make it. Jesse, say hello to Bobby.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 77.


JESSE MOFFETTE
What’s the name again?

BOB
Bobby. Bob Dylan.

The small studio audience applauds.

JESSE MOFFETTE
What kind of music you play?

PETE
Bobby plays a few kinds. Pretty well.

JESSE MOFFETTE
So you’re grabbing my spotlight?

BOB
No, no. Just here to listen, Jesse.
Trying to work out your tuning. Never
heard it, can’t make it out.

JESSE MOFFETTE
No one can but me.

Jesse hands Bob the bottle of peppy. Bob takes a swig.

JESSE MOFFETTE (CONT’D)
How careful were you watchin’, Bobby?

BOB
Close enough.

Jesse passes his Silvertone over Pete to Bob.

JESSE MOFFETTE
Let’s see about that.

Bob takes the Silvertone, works it a bit, then suddenly plays
his own version of Jesse’s lick, finding a groove with it.

Jesse loves it and grabs a second guitar, picking the blues
over his rhythm. Pete smiles and grabs his banjo and joins..

They all jam joyfully as we --
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Musical","Drama"]

Summary Bob Dylan delivers an energetic performance of 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' at Columbia Studio A, prompting mixed reactions from the control room, particularly from John Hammond, who worries about the impact of the full band on Bob's solo act. After the performance, Bob shares a light-hearted moment with the band before transitioning to a live TV show hosted by Pete Seeger. Arriving late, Bob interacts with blues musician Jesse Moffette, leading to an impromptu jam session that showcases their camaraderie and playful spirit.
Strengths
  • Authentic musical performances
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Lively and entertaining atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured, engaging, and showcases the characters' musical talents and interactions effectively. It is lively, entertaining, and adds depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of a musical jam session within a live TV show setting adds depth to the characters, showcases their talents, and introduces new elements to the story.

Plot: 8.2

While the plot progression is not central in this scene, the introduction of new characters and the exploration of musical themes add richness to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the music industry and the creative process, with unique character interactions and a blend of humor and drama. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters' musical abilities, interactions, and dynamics are well-portrayed, adding depth and authenticity to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there is no significant character development in this scene, the introduction of new characters adds complexity and potential for growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to experiment with his music and find new ways to express himself creatively. This reflects his desire for artistic growth and innovation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to collaborate with other musicians and create a unique sound. This reflects his immediate challenge of adapting to a band format and live TV performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

While there is a hint of tension between the characters, the overall tone is more about musical camaraderie and collaboration.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong but not overwhelming, with conflicts arising from the protagonist's creative decisions and interactions with other characters. The audience is left wondering how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on musical exploration and camaraderie than on high-stakes drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new dynamics, showcasing the characters' musical talents, and adding layers to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character dynamics, the spontaneous musical collaboration, and the humorous dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the interactions will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between traditional solo performance and experimental band collaboration. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about his own music and the expectations of his audience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes feelings of joy, excitement, and musical appreciation, but the emotional depth is not as intense as in other scenes.

Dialogue: 8.4

The dialogue is engaging, natural, and reflects the characters' personalities and musical interests effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the humor and drama, and the musical performances. The audience is drawn into the world of the 1960s music scene and the protagonist's creative journey.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and musical performances. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and builds tension towards the climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the energy and excitement of Bob Dylan's recording session, showcasing his experimental approach to music. The use of close-ups and the pull-back reveal creates a dynamic visual experience that immerses the audience in the moment.
  • The dialogue between the characters in the control room adds a layer of tension and anticipation, highlighting the differing opinions on Bob's solo act versus the full band. This conflict is well-established and adds depth to the scene.
  • Bob's elation and giddiness after the performance are palpable, which contrasts nicely with the serious discussions happening in the control room. This juxtaposition effectively conveys the tension between artistic freedom and commercial expectations.
  • However, the transition from the recording session to the live TV show feels abrupt. While it serves to show the progression of Bob's career, it could benefit from a smoother transition that connects the two moments more cohesively.
  • The introduction of Jesse Moffette is engaging, but his character could be further developed to enhance the audience's connection to him. Providing a bit more backstory or context about his relationship with Bob could enrich the scene.
  • The humor in Jesse's dialogue is a nice touch, but it risks overshadowing the emotional weight of Bob's journey. Balancing the comedic elements with the more serious undertones of Bob's artistic struggles could create a more nuanced scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Bob after the recording session, allowing the audience to see his internal thoughts about the experiment and its implications for his career.
  • Enhance Jesse Moffette's character by including a line or two that hints at his history with Bob or the music scene, which would provide context for their interaction and deepen the audience's understanding of their dynamic.
  • Smooth out the transition between the recording session and the live TV show by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two scenes, such as a fade-out of the recording session music leading into the live performance.
  • Maintain the balance between humor and emotional depth by ensuring that Jesse's comedic lines do not detract from the seriousness of Bob's artistic journey. Consider using Jesse's humor to highlight Bob's struggles rather than overshadow them.
  • Explore the reactions of the studio audience during Bob's performance to provide a broader perspective on how his music is received, which could enhance the emotional stakes of the scene.



Scene 43 -  Tension at the Chelsea Hotel
91 EXT. CHELSEA HOTEL -- NIGHT 91

Neuwirth pulls up to the curb, gives a look to Bob who gets
out and walks into the hotel.

CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 78.

92 INT. HALLWAY -- CHELSEA HOTEL -- NIGHT 92

Bob shuffles out of the elevator and glances down the hall.
He looks at the room numbers.

BOB
..Shit.

Bob knocks on one door, then another. He knocks at yet
another door, hoping something will happen.

Then a door behind Bob opens, REVEALING JOAN, looking
beautiful, holding a joint.

JOAN
I saw Pete’s show.

BOB
Me too.

She laughs. He shuffles toward her. She eyes him as he gets
close, then steps aside, letting him in.

JOAN
I think I need to catch up with you.
You bring Jesse’s peppy?

He cackles and the door closes.
CUT TO:
93 INT. CHELSEA HOTEL ROOM -- NIGHT 93

ANGLE ON BOB in the smokey room -- scratching feverishly on a
pad by the window holding Joan’s guitar, mumbling to himself.

BOB
A fool’s gold mouthpiece
..a hollow horn..

Joan watches him from her pillow on the bed.

JOAN
Hey.

BOB
..plays wasted words, proves to warn.
That he not busy being..

JOAN
Bob.

BOB
He not busy being born.. is..
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 79.


JOAN
Bob!

Bob’s pencil freezes. Spell broken. He sighs, struggling to
remember the lyric. It’s gone. Bob looks at her.

BOB
What.

JOAN
Nevermind.

BOB
Never-mind?

Joan sits up.

JOAN
Why did you come here, Bob?

BOB
What?

JOAN
Why did you come here?

BOB
What are you doing?

JOAN
Why did you come here?

BOB
Uh. To see you.

JOAN
You’re acting like a jerk.

BOB
Cause I got out of your bed?

JOAN
Get out.

BOB
What?

JOAN
Get out.

BOB
Whoa! I came here to be with you,
Joan.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 80.


JOAN
But then you got an idea.

BOB
(grins)
I was inspired.

JOAN
Get out.

BOB
You kidding me?

JOAN
No, Bob.

Bob sighs. Stands. Still holding her guitar.

BOB
(Mutters)
You used to have some spirit, Joan.

Moves to exit.

BOB (CONT’D)
Albert booked us on a concert tour. On
tours people generally sing songs, you
know. Commonly. Someone writes them.
Sometimes they rhyme. Not always.

JOAN
That’s my fucking guitar!

Bob drops it on a chair as he shuts the door behind them.

BOB
See you on tour!
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Bob arrives at the Chelsea Hotel to see Joan, but becomes distracted by his songwriting, leading to a confrontation. Joan expresses her frustration over Bob's neglect and ultimately tells him to leave. The scene culminates in Bob carelessly dropping her guitar before exiting, highlighting the breakdown in their relationship.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension-building dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution
  • Limited external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension and emotion through the confrontational dialogue between Bob and Joan, providing insight into their complex relationship. The reflective moments add depth to the characters, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a tense and emotional confrontation between Bob and Joan at the Chelsea Hotel is compelling, adding depth to their characters and exploring themes of regret, defiance, and reflection. The scene's focus on their relationship dynamics is engaging and impactful.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the confrontation between Bob and Joan, highlighting their strained relationship and conflicting emotions. The scene contributes to character development and adds complexity to the overall narrative, making it an important moment in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its unconventional dialogue, nuanced character interactions, and exploration of artistic themes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves deep into the characters of Bob and Joan, showcasing their complex relationship dynamics, emotional conflicts, and reflective moments. The confrontation adds layers to their personalities and sets the stage for further character development.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Joan experience changes during the scene, as they confront their strained relationship, express conflicting emotions, and reflect on their past interactions. The confrontation leads to emotional growth and sets the stage for further character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to reconnect with Joan and express his creativity. It reflects his desire for artistic inspiration and connection with someone who understands his creative process.

External Goal: 7.5

Bob's external goal is to convince Joan to join him on a concert tour. It reflects his immediate challenge of convincing her to collaborate with him and continue their creative partnership.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene has a high level of conflict, primarily stemming from the tense and emotional confrontation between Bob and Joan. Their conflicting sentiments and confrontational dialogue create a charged atmosphere, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power dynamics between Bob and Joan creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional intensity and confrontational nature of the interaction between Bob and Joan raise the stakes in their relationship. The outcome of their confrontation could have significant implications for their future.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship dynamics between Bob and Joan, adding complexity to their characters, and setting the stage for future developments. The confrontation contributes to the narrative progression and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between Bob and Joan, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome of their interaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between artistic inspiration and personal relationships. Bob's desire for creative expression clashes with Joan's desire for personal connection and independence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a significant emotional impact, eliciting feelings of tension, regret, defiance, and reflection through the interactions between Bob and Joan. The emotional depth of the characters and the charged atmosphere enhance the scene's impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys tension, emotion, and conflict between Bob and Joan, capturing their inner turmoil and reflective moments. The confrontational exchanges add depth to their characters and drive the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic character interactions, emotional depth, and thematic complexity.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene enhances its effectiveness by building tension, revealing character motivations, and maintaining audience engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bob and Joan, showcasing their complicated relationship. However, the dialogue can feel repetitive, particularly in the back-and-forth questioning. This could be streamlined to maintain the scene's momentum and avoid redundancy.
  • Bob's character is portrayed as distracted and somewhat self-absorbed, which aligns with his artistic persona. However, this could be balanced with moments that reveal his vulnerability or deeper feelings for Joan, making their conflict more relatable and emotionally resonant.
  • The use of Joan's guitar as a symbol of their relationship is a strong visual element, but the moment when Bob drops it could be more impactful. Instead of a casual drop, consider a more dramatic action that emphasizes the weight of the moment, perhaps a pause before he lets it go, reflecting his internal struggle.
  • The scene's pacing is uneven, particularly in the transition from Bob's creative process to the confrontation with Joan. The initial moments of Bob writing could be more dynamic, perhaps incorporating more sensory details about the environment to enhance the atmosphere before the tension escalates.
  • Joan's character could benefit from more depth in this scene. While she expresses frustration, adding a line or two that reveals her own insecurities or desires could create a more balanced dynamic between her and Bob, making their conflict feel more layered.
Suggestions
  • Streamline the dialogue to reduce repetition, focusing on key phrases that convey their emotions without excessive back-and-forth.
  • Incorporate moments that reveal Bob's vulnerability, perhaps through internal monologue or a brief flashback that highlights his feelings for Joan.
  • Enhance the dramatic impact of Bob dropping Joan's guitar by adding a moment of hesitation or a more forceful action that symbolizes his emotional turmoil.
  • Add sensory details to the initial writing scene to create a more immersive atmosphere, such as the smell of smoke, the sound of music, or the feel of the guitar.
  • Develop Joan's character further by including lines that hint at her own struggles or desires, creating a more complex interaction that resonates with the audience.



Scene 44 -  Creative Sparks and Stage Frustrations
94 INT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- DAY 94

In the booth, TOM WILSON with Engineer (ROY HALEE) AND BOBBY
NEUWIRTH. ALBERT hovers in the door, keeping watch.

BOB and A FULL SESSION BAND are ready to roll.

TOM WILSON
Ready to roll on seven. Get that easy
going riff goin’.

BOB
Hold on, hold on, Tom. I want to try
it with this at the top instead of the
guitar.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 81.


Bob holds up THE TOY SIREN he brought on the street. The band
grins and Bob spins the crank. It wails and everyone laughs.

BOB (CONT’D)
Don’t start laughing in the take, man.
Cause I gotta look at your face.

Everyone pulls it together and Bob nods to the drummer to
count them in. Bob winds the siren and the band takes off
underneath. Checking lyrics from his pad --

BOB SINGS
God said to Abraham, ‘Kill me a son’.
Abe says, ‘Man, you must be puttin’ me
on. God says, ‘No.’ Abe says, ‘What?’
God says, ‘You can do what you want
Abe, but the next time you see me
comin’, you better run.

In the booth. Tom Wilson and Albert swap a look of wonder.

CUT TO:
95 JOAN AND BOB ON STAGE -- PITTSBURGH, PA -- NIGHT 95

A big venue, packed with young fans. Albert Grossman comes up
a corridor that leads to the large arena as --

BOB AND JOAN SING
I don't want to meet your kin, make
you spin or do you in. Or select you
or dissect you or inspect you or
reject you. All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you.

They applaud as Bob and Joan finish. As Joan thanks the
crowd, Bob starts to pad about, restless, his mind on
something he left in the studio. He works the fingering for
something that has nothing to do with the current set.

Joan just looks at him, uncomfortable.

JOAN
(covers mic)
Um. Bob. Where the fuck are you?

BOB
(crosses to the mic)
I’m right here, Joan.
(covers the mic)
..I think this place is too big. Like
a morgue. Like Monterey. Maybe we need
a band. ..Maybe it’s not big enough.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 82.


Joan looks at Bob, bewildered. She looks at the set list
taped to the monitor and starts to play the intro to “Blowin’
in the Wind”. Eager applause.

BOB (CONT’D)
No, no, no. Don’t do that. They all
have that on records at home.

JOAN
(to crowd)
You want to hear “Blowin’ in the
Wind”, right?
(they cheer)
That’s why they came here, Bob.

BOB
(to the crowd)
Is that why you came here?
(cheers again)
‘Cause no set list was advertised. Did
someone make a promise I was gonna
sing that song?

At the back, Albert sags, sweats with tension.
People shout “Just play it!” “We wanna hear it!”.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
What in fuck.

BOB
Joan, I can’t be responsible for
people’s irrational delusional
expectations.

The audience gets quiet. Uncomfortable. Joan glares at him.

BOB (CONT’D)
Sing what you want.

Joan starts Blowin in the Wind ..and Bob walks off stage.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a recording studio, Bob Neuwirth playfully suggests using a toy siren for a song, delighting the band and impressing producers with his performance. However, during a live concert in Pittsburgh, Bob becomes restless and dissatisfied with the venue and audience, leading to tension with Joan Baez, who tries to engage the crowd. Ultimately, Bob walks off stage, leaving Joan to perform 'Blowin' in the Wind' alone.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and discomfort
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Exploration of artistic integrity vs. audience expectations
Weaknesses
  • Bob's abrupt exit from the stage may leave some audience members confused or unsatisfied

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and conflict between the characters, creating a sense of unease and dissatisfaction. The tension and discomfort are palpable, adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of unfulfilled expectations and the clash between artistic integrity and audience demands is effectively explored in the scene, adding depth to the characters and their relationships.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around the conflict between Bob and Joan during a live performance, highlighting Bob's struggle with audience expectations and his own artistic vision. The scene contributes to the development of character dynamics and conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the music industry, showcasing the tension between artistic vision and audience demands. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting personalities and the tension between them. Their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it does highlight the growing tension and dissatisfaction within Bob Dylan's character, setting the stage for potential development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal is to express his artistic vision and maintain control over his performance, despite external pressures and expectations.

External Goal: 7.5

Bob's external goal is to navigate the audience's expectations and reactions during the performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between Bob and Joan due to unfulfilled expectations and conflicting perspectives. The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and discord between the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition between Bob's artistic vision and the audience's expectations creates a strong conflict that drives the scene.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in the scene, as Bob's dissatisfaction with audience expectations and his artistic vision could have repercussions on his career and relationships. The tension and conflict raise the stakes for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict between Bob and Joan, setting the stage for further developments in their relationship and artistic endeavors. It adds complexity to the narrative and character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in its focus on music industry conflicts, but the character dynamics add an element of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Bob's artistic integrity and the audience's desire for familiar songs. It challenges Bob's belief in artistic freedom and authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly feelings of tension, discomfort, and restlessness. The emotional impact adds depth to the character interactions and conflicts.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and discomfort between Bob and Joan, capturing their conflicting perspectives and emotions. The dialogue enhances the character dynamics and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic dialogue, character conflicts, and the tension between artistic integrity and audience expectations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and drama, leading to a climactic moment between Bob and Joan.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical format for a music industry drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bob Dylan's internal conflict and restlessness, showcasing his struggle with fame and audience expectations. However, the transition from the studio to the live performance could be smoother. The abrupt cut might confuse the audience about the timeline and emotional continuity.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Joan is tense and reveals their complicated relationship, but it could benefit from more subtext. Instead of directly stating their frustrations, consider using more indirect dialogue that hints at their deeper issues, allowing the audience to infer the tension.
  • Bob's character comes across as self-absorbed and dismissive of the audience's desires, which could alienate viewers. While this may be intentional, it risks making him less relatable. Adding moments of vulnerability or self-awareness could create a more nuanced portrayal.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial setup in the studio is lively and engaging, but the transition to the live performance drags as Bob's restlessness takes center stage. Consider tightening the dialogue and actions to maintain momentum.
  • The use of the toy siren is a clever and humorous touch that showcases Bob's creativity, but it may feel out of place in the context of the serious themes being explored. Ensure that such moments align with the overall tone of the scene to avoid jarring shifts.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob after the studio scene, perhaps showing him contemplating the implications of his performance choices before transitioning to the live show.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Bob and Joan by incorporating more layered exchanges that reveal their frustrations without explicitly stating them. This could involve more interruptions or overlapping dialogue to heighten the tension.
  • Introduce a moment where Bob acknowledges the audience's expectations, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a conversation with another character, to provide context for his behavior and make him more relatable.
  • Tighten the pacing by cutting unnecessary dialogue or actions that do not contribute to the emotional arc of the scene. Focus on key moments that highlight the tension between Bob and Joan.
  • Ensure that the humor from the toy siren is balanced with the more serious themes of the scene. If the siren is meant to lighten the mood, consider how it can be integrated into the live performance without undermining the emotional stakes.



Scene 45 -  Authenticity at Odds
96 INT. LOMAX OFFICE -- WEST 46TH -- DAY 96

A funky hive of activity. Walls lined with 1/4” tapes, mixing
equipment and the omnipresent sound of roots music.

WE FIND -- ALAN LOMAX as he’s tapped by an assistant. He
removes headphones, crosses to --
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 83.


A FREIGHT ELEVATOR. There, arriving, are : Pete Seeger,
Harold Leventhal, George Wein, Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul
and Mary), Theodore Bikel and Oscar Brand; the great worthies
of the Newport Folk Foundation.
CUT TO:
97 INT. LOMAX OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER 97

A GATHERING OF MEN eat danish around a table. They make
lists. Work continues by staff in bg. We note Sylvie’s
sister, Gena, finishing setting the nosh.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Give me Saturday night again.

THEODORE BIKEL
Ian and Sylvia, Odetta, Donovan,
Johnny Cash and Kweskin..

ALAN LOMAX
And Theodore Bikel.

THEODORE BIKEL
I was just getting to me.

PETER YARROW
There’s a proposal on the table for
the Butterfield Blues Band.

PETE
Remind me who they are.

PETER YARROW
Chicago blues band.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Electric blues band.

ALAN LOMAX
A white electric blues band.

PETER YARROW
They’re hot, Alan. The guitarist, Mike
Bloomfield, is incredible.

ALAN LOMAX
Of course he is. Part of the Albert
Grossman stable. Like you, Peter.

PETER YARROW
Knock it off.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
I hear Bob’s playing electric now.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 84.


ALAN LOMAX
Not on our stage.

PETER YARROW
So, what’s the verdict on The
Butterfields?

ALAN LOMAX
We already have bluesmen, real ones.

PETE
Bob wasn’t playing electric in London.

THEODORE BIKEL
His last album had a full band.

PETE
On a few songs.

Pete gets a look of rebuke from Lomax.

PETER YARROW
We should just ask Albert what Bob’s
planning.

Leventhal holds up an issue of NME featuring PHOTOS OF BOB
WITH THE BEATLES. Wild-eyed, partying at the Marquee Club in
London. In one shot, JOAN BAEZ, partying among them.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Albert’s had his hands full. Bob
brought Joan to London--

Gena turns from her desk, listening.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL (CONT’D)
--but he wouldn’t let her play with
him. Or visa versa. Apparently, she
got pissed and split for Paris.

Peter Yarrow waves the Butterfield Blues folder.

PETER YARROW
Can we finish talking about the
Butterfields?

ALAN LOMAX
I thought we did, Peter.

PETER YARROW
You never heard them, Alan.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 85.


ALAN LOMAX
The Newport Folk Festival was created
to fight a rip tide of inauthentic
shit. The record companies package and
push white bands over everything else.

PETER YARROW
I understand but--

ALAN LOMAX
You can’t understand the problem,
Peter, you are the problem! “Peter,
Paul and Mary” are a confection.
Paul’s name used to be Noel! Albert
changed it cause it sounded better.
‘Like fucking Ritz crackers.

Yarrow grabs his things and storms to the door.

THEODORE BIKEL
Okay.. o-kay..

ALAN LOMAX
We’re here to celebrate music from the
people. For the people. The sound of a
guitar and a man’s voice.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Or a woman’s..

Suddenly, Pete pounds the table. Everyone turns.

PETE
Stop! Let’s not be dogmatic and
insulting, Alan. We can find a way to
agree.

ALAN LOMAX
No, Pete. We can’t. Fuck the
Butterfingers. And fuck Dylan if he
thinks he’s gonna play electric on our
stage. And don’t bring up ticket
sales, Harold. I don’t give a shit.
Rock and roll is a cash powered alien
invasion crushing all authentic human
possibility.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In Alan Lomax's office, influential members of the Newport Folk Foundation clash over the festival lineup. Lomax vehemently opposes the inclusion of the Butterfield Blues Band, arguing they symbolize the commercialization of folk music. Tensions escalate as Peter Yarrow defends the band, leading to a heated debate about authenticity in music. Despite attempts at mediation by Pete Seeger and support for the band from Harold Leventhal, Lomax remains resolute, ultimately rejecting electric music for the festival. The scene concludes with unresolved tensions and Lomax's explosive condemnation of rock and roll.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Lack of deep emotional impact
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written and engaging, providing insight into the conflicting viewpoints within the folk music community and setting up potential conflicts for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the clash between traditional folk music values and the encroachment of commercial interests is compelling and sets the stage for future conflicts and character development.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the debate, revealing the underlying tensions and setting up potential conflicts that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the clash between traditional folk music and commercial rock and roll, with authentic dialogue that reflects the characters' beliefs and values.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their conflicting viewpoints add depth to the scene, setting up potential character arcs and conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the conflicting viewpoints set the stage for potential character development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 9

Alan Lomax's internal goal is to preserve the authenticity and integrity of folk music against the encroachment of commercialization and rock and roll.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to curate a lineup for the Newport Folk Festival that reflects the values of authenticity and traditional music.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters' differing viewpoints on folk music authenticity creates a tense and engaging atmosphere, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and heated arguments that create uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the authenticity of folk music and the potential impact of commercial interests on the genre, setting up significant conflicts for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts and tensions that will drive future developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected outbursts and confrontations between characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between preserving authentic folk music and resisting commercialization and rock and roll invasion.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and frustration, but the emotional impact is more intellectual than deeply emotional.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and effectively conveys the ideological differences and tensions among the characters, driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense conflict and strong character dynamics, drawing the audience into the debate over music authenticity.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and drama, leading to a climactic confrontation between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy office setting, with clear character interactions and scene descriptions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the conflict and tension between the characters, building towards a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between traditional folk music and the emerging electric sound, which is a pivotal theme in Bob Dylan's career. The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' strong opinions, particularly Alan Lomax's passionate defense of authenticity in music. However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the atmosphere of the Lomax office, which is described as a 'funky hive of activity.' Adding specific details about the decor, the sounds of the studio, or the expressions of the characters could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The conflict is well-established, particularly through Alan Lomax's vehement rejection of the Butterfield Blues Band and his disdain for commercialized music. However, the stakes could be raised further by illustrating the potential consequences of this decision on the festival's future or on Bob Dylan's career. This would provide a clearer sense of urgency and importance to the discussion.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit uneven. While the dialogue is engaging, the transitions between characters could be smoother to maintain the flow of the conversation. For instance, when Peter Yarrow storms out, it disrupts the rhythm. A brief moment of silence or a reaction shot from the remaining characters could enhance the impact of this moment.
  • The character dynamics are intriguing, particularly the tension between Lomax and Yarrow. However, some characters, like Theodore Bikel and Oscar Brand, feel underdeveloped. Giving them a line or two that reflects their perspective on the debate could add depth to the ensemble and make the scene feel more balanced.
  • The use of humor, particularly in the exchanges about Peter, Paul, and Mary, is effective in lightening the mood amidst the serious discussion. However, it could be more consistent throughout the scene. Finding moments for levity amidst the tension could make the characters more relatable and the scene more engaging.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the visual description of the Lomax office to create a more vivid setting. Consider adding details about the clutter, the sounds of the equipment, or the expressions of the characters to immerse the audience in the environment.
  • Raise the stakes of the discussion by incorporating potential consequences for the festival or for Bob Dylan's career if the Butterfield Blues Band is included. This could heighten the tension and make the debate feel more critical.
  • Smooth out the pacing by ensuring transitions between characters are fluid. Consider adding reaction shots or pauses to allow the weight of certain statements to resonate with the audience.
  • Develop the supporting characters further by giving them lines that reflect their views on the debate. This will create a more balanced ensemble and enrich the scene's dynamics.
  • Incorporate more consistent humor throughout the scene to balance the serious themes. This could help to humanize the characters and make the discussion more engaging for the audience.



Scene 46 -  Jam Session at Columbia Studios
98 EXT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- JUNE 1965 -- DAY 98

A TAXI PULLS UP to the curb of Columbia Studios and out
stumbles BOB NEUWIRTH, a butt on his lip, looking haggard. He
pays the driver, change falling, toting a large acoustic
case. As the cab pulls away, he bangs on the trunk.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 86.


BOB NEUWIRTH
Whoa whoa!

THE TRUNK POPS TO REVEAL -- A STRATOCASTER CASE (an electric
guitar) with a British Airways sticker on it.
CUT TO:
99 INT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- MOMENTS LATER 99

An empty studio, Tom Wilson sips coffee in the booth.

TOM WILSON
(over the PA)
Welcome back, Neuwirth!

Neuwirth waves the wave of a man who doesn’t want to talk
about it. He goes about his business setting things up. He
lays down A STRATOCASTER CASE and cracks it open, revealing --

A GLEAMING RED FENDER ELECTRIC. He plugs it into an amp.

TOM WILSON (CONT’D)
(over the PA)
That yours?

NEUWIRTH
Bob’s. He bought it in London.

Wilson blinks, reacting to the idea of Dylan buying an
electric guitar as --

Neuwirth warms it up, playing an old tune.

NEUWIRTH SINGS
Railroad Bill, Railroad Bill.
He never worked and he never will

Suddenly, a harmonica comes in behind him. Neuwirth looks
over his shoulder to find --

Bob, who has been sleeping on a couch behind the baffles. He
too looks baked and he nods at Neuwirth to keep going.

NEUWIRTH SINGS (CONT’D)
And it’s ride, ride, ride... Railroad
Bill, he was a mighty mean man...

Bob sits up, joins him.

BOB AND NEUWIRTH SING
He shot the midnight lantern out of
the brakeman’s hand. And it’s ride,
ride, ride.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 87.


BOB
Pick it up a little.

Neuwirth pours on more hot sauce as another musician enters.

A rollicking ham-fisted piano joins in. The player (AL
KOOPER) is a young guy with Mod clothes, a mop of dark hair
and shades. He grins at Bob. The tune is rocking now.

BOB AND NEUWIRTH SING
Railroad Bill, y’know he took a wife.
Said if I didn’t like it he’d take my
life. And it’s ride, ride, ride..

They suddenly stop as the door open.

MORE SESSION MEN file in, among them -- Keyboardist PAUL
GRIFFIN and guitarist MIKE BLOOMFIELD carrying his axe.
Kooper yields the piano to Griffin.

BOB
(to Kooper)
Hey, man. You in this session?

AL KOOPER
(shrugs, bashful)
Tom said to fall by. I’m Al Kooper.

NEUWIRTH
(to Bob)
Guitar player.

BOB
We got Bloomfield.

Bloomfield unleashes a mighty blues lick.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Music","Drama"]

Summary In June 1965, Bob Neuwirth arrives at Columbia Studios, setting up his new electric guitar and launching into a lively rendition of 'Railroad Bill.' Bob Dylan, waking from a couch, joins him in harmony, while Al Kooper adds piano, creating an energetic jam session. As more musicians, including Tom Wilson, Paul Griffin, and Mike Bloomfield, join in, the atmosphere is filled with camaraderie and artistic expression, culminating in a vibrant musical collaboration.
Strengths
  • Authentic portrayal of musical collaboration
  • Lively and engaging atmosphere
  • Effective use of acoustic and electric instruments
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Lack of significant conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, engaging, and effectively captures the essence of a creative musical collaboration. The mix of acoustic and electric instruments adds depth to the performance, and the casual, lighthearted tone enhances the overall experience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a spontaneous jam session in a recording studio effectively captures the creative process and camaraderie among musicians. The scene showcases the evolution of Bob Dylan's music style with the introduction of electric instruments.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene focuses more on the musical performance than advancing the plot, it contributes to the development of Bob Dylan's character and his exploration of new musical directions. The jam session adds depth to the narrative by highlighting Dylan's evolving artistic vision.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases a fresh approach to depicting a music jam session, blending historical accuracy with creative storytelling. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Bob Dylan and Bob Neuwirth, are portrayed authentically in their musical passion and camaraderie. The introduction of other musicians adds richness to the scene and showcases the collaborative spirit of the music industry.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the collaborative nature of the jam session allows the characters to bond and express themselves creatively. The scene contributes to the development of Bob Dylan's musical identity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to showcase his musical talent and creativity through the jam session. It reflects his desire for recognition, artistic expression, and connection with other musicians.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully participate in the music session and create a harmonious musical experience with the other musicians. It reflects the immediate challenge of blending his style with the group dynamic.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on the musical collaboration and creative process. The conflict is minimal, allowing the characters to express themselves freely through music.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge the protagonist's musical choices and beliefs. The audience is unsure of how the jam session will unfold.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are low in this scene, focusing more on the musical collaboration and artistic exploration than on high-stakes conflicts or dramatic tension. The emphasis is on creativity and camaraderie.

Story Forward: 6

The scene does not significantly move the main plot forward but provides insight into Bob Dylan's artistic evolution and the creative process behind his music. It adds depth to the narrative by showcasing a pivotal moment in Dylan's career.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the spontaneous nature of a music jam session, where the outcome and interactions between characters are not predetermined. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in the clash between traditional acoustic music and the introduction of electric guitars, symbolizing the changing landscape of music and artistic expression. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about musical authenticity and innovation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and joy through the musical performance and camaraderie among the musicians. The emotional impact is moderate, primarily driven by the passion and energy of the jam session.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is minimal but effective in conveying the spontaneity and camaraderie of the jam session. The interactions between the musicians are natural and reflect their shared love for music.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic interactions between characters, musical performances, and the sense of collaboration. The audience is drawn into the energy and creativity of the music session.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, highlighting musical performances, and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions adds to the scene's energy.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a music jam session genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the energy and excitement of a recording session, showcasing the camaraderie among musicians. However, the transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. The dialogue and actions could benefit from a smoother segue that connects the themes of authenticity and the tension surrounding Bob's musical direction.
  • Bob Neuwirth's introduction is engaging, but his character could be further developed to provide more context about his relationship with Bob Dylan. Adding a brief moment of reflection or dialogue that hints at their history would enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
  • The use of music in this scene is a strong point, as it sets a lively tone. However, the lyrics of 'Railroad Bill' could be more integrated into the narrative. Consider using the song's themes to parallel the characters' experiences or emotions, creating a deeper connection between the music and the story.
  • The introduction of Al Kooper and Mike Bloomfield is effective, but their characterizations are somewhat superficial. Providing a line or two that highlights their personalities or their significance in the music scene would enrich the scene and give the audience a better understanding of their roles.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could benefit from moments of silence or pauses to allow the audience to absorb the energy and excitement of the jam session. This would create a more dynamic rhythm and enhance the overall impact of the performance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of dialogue or action that connects the themes of the previous scene to this one, creating a smoother transition.
  • Develop Bob Neuwirth's character further by including a line or two that hints at his relationship with Bob Dylan, adding emotional depth to the scene.
  • Integrate the lyrics of 'Railroad Bill' more meaningfully into the narrative, perhaps by reflecting on the song's themes in relation to the characters' experiences.
  • Provide more characterization for Al Kooper and Mike Bloomfield, perhaps through a memorable line or action that showcases their personalities and significance in the music scene.
  • Incorporate moments of silence or pauses during the jam session to enhance the pacing and allow the audience to fully appreciate the energy of the performance.



Scene 47 -  Breaking Through: Al's Moment in the Studio
100 INT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- CONTROL BOOTH -- LATER 100

Al Kooper sits on the couch with his guitar, looking sullen
as Tom adjusts the board, working with engineer, ROY HALEE.

AL KOOPER
They called me in, I brought my axe.

Tom raises the level on Bloomfield’s electrifying licks..

TOM WILSON
You wanna to go up against that, Al?

ROY
No one’s on organ.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 88.


AL KOOPER
I can do organ.

TOM WILSON
You don’t play keyboards, Al.

Al makes a face and slides into the studio as Neuwirth pokes
in his head, signaling Tom that Bob’s ready.
CUT TO:
101 INT. STUDIO A -- JUST AS TAPE’S ABOUT TO ROLL 101

Al Kooper sits down in front of the Hammond organ looking
like its the first time he’s touched one. His hands fumble on
the keys. No sound. Tom Wilson steps up, flicks the ON
switch. Gives Al a look.

Across the studio, Bob is listening to Bloomfield jam.

TOM
(on control room speaker)
“Like a Rolling Stone,” Take 8.

Bob has a note for Bloomfield.

BOB
Hey. Mike. Play like you’re in your
room alone. Play for yourself.

Bloomfield nods.

BOB (CONT’D)
(to the others)
No more waltz time on this one.
Ascending scale, ‘La Bamba’ changes
for the chorus. Come in on the
downbeat of four. Just jump on it.

Bob nods to the drummer BOBBY GREGG... who counts off...

BOBBY GREGG
One, two. One, two, three..

..and they’re off. Neuwirth glances at Kooper, who’s waiting
to make sure of the chord, staying an eighth note behind. Bob
starts singing. A seismic sound:

BOB SINGS
Once upon a time you dressed so
fine.. Threw the bums a dime in your
prime, didn't you?
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 89.

102 INT. COLUMBIA STUDIO A -- CONTROL BOOTH -- LATER 102

Playback of the track. Bob listens intently, critically.
Albert behind him, sensing something major in the air, and
Neuwirth is wedged against the back wall.

BOB
Let me hear more of that organ.

TOM WILSON
The cat’s not an organ player.

BOB
Sounds like one to me. Lift it, Roy.

Roy Halee brings the level up on the organ. The drums and the
kick come up with it.

TOM
It’s tied to the drums.

BOB
Keep it there.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In the control booth of Columbia Studio A, Al Kooper grapples with self-doubt as he prepares to play the Hammond organ during a recording session for Bob Dylan's 'Like a Rolling Stone.' Despite Tom Wilson's skepticism about Al's keyboard skills, he is determined to contribute. With Tom's assistance, Al fumbles through the initial moments but eventually finds his footing. Bob Dylan guides the band, urging a more personal touch from guitarist Bloomfield. After the first take, Bob insists on highlighting Al's organ in the mix, marking a pivotal moment of recognition for Al's contribution and shifting the dynamics of the session.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Creative collaboration
  • Innovative music production
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on other characters
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, intense, and pivotal in the development of Bob Dylan's music. It showcases his creative vision and critical approach to music production, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bob Dylan pushing the boundaries of music and directing the band to create a new sound is compelling and innovative. It showcases his artistic vision and the collaborative nature of music production.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the recording of 'Like a Rolling Stone' and the creative process involved. It moves the story forward by highlighting Bob Dylan's evolution as an artist and the challenges he faces in redefining his sound.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the music recording process, highlighting the importance of individual expression and experimentation.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, especially Bob Dylan, Al Kooper, and the band members, are well-developed and contribute to the intensity and creativity of the recording session. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Bob Dylan undergoes a significant change in the scene as he asserts his artistic vision and pushes the band to create a new sound. His confidence and creativity shine through, showcasing his growth as an artist.

Internal Goal: 8

Al Kooper's internal goal is to prove himself as a versatile musician by playing the organ, despite not being known for that instrument. This reflects his desire for recognition and acceptance in the music industry.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to contribute to the recording session by playing the organ effectively and adding value to the song being recorded.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Bob Dylan grapples with the challenge of redefining his music and pushing the boundaries of his sound. The tension between artistic vision and commercial expectations adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene comes from Al Kooper's struggle to play the organ effectively and Bob Dylan's unconventional musical direction.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Bob Dylan takes a bold step in redefining his sound and artistic direction. The success of the recording session could have a major impact on his career and reputation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting Bob Dylan's artistic evolution and the challenges he faces in redefining his music. It sets the stage for future developments in his career and musical style.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected challenges faced by Al Kooper and the creative decisions made by Bob Dylan.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between traditional musical norms and experimentation. Bob Dylan encourages the musicians to break away from conventional styles and play authentically.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, as it captures the passion and intensity of the music production process. The creative energy and collaboration between the characters evoke a sense of excitement and innovation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is focused on the music production process, with Bob Dylan giving direction to the band and producer. It effectively conveys the intensity and passion of the recording session.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic character interactions, musical elements, and tension surrounding Al Kooper's performance on the organ.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension and excitement, leading to a climactic moment during the recording session.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene's formatting adheres to industry standards, making it easy to follow and visualize the action.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the recording session's progression and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and excitement of a recording session, showcasing the dynamics between the musicians and the production team. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance individuality and make each character's personality shine through.
  • Al Kooper's initial uncertainty about playing the organ is a relatable moment, but it could be expanded to show more of his internal struggle or humor about the situation. This would add depth to his character and make the audience more invested in his performance.
  • The technical aspects of the recording process are well-represented, but the scene could use more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment. Describing the sounds, smells, and visual elements of the studio would create a richer atmosphere.
  • Bob's instructions to the band are clear, but they could be more dynamic. Adding a bit of tension or urgency to his directives could heighten the stakes of the recording session, making it feel more pivotal in the context of the story.
  • The transition between the control booth and the studio is smooth, but it could be enhanced with more visual cues or reactions from the characters. For instance, showing the excitement or anxiety on the faces of the musicians as they prepare to record would add emotional weight to the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more character-specific dialogue to differentiate the voices of Al, Tom, and Bob. This will help the audience connect with each character more deeply.
  • Expand on Al Kooper's internal conflict about playing the organ. Perhaps include a humorous inner monologue or a moment of self-doubt that he overcomes as he begins to play.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to create a vivid atmosphere in the studio. Describe the sounds of the instruments, the feel of the air, and the visual clutter of the recording space.
  • Infuse Bob's instructions with a sense of urgency or passion. Perhaps he could express frustration or excitement that would elevate the tension in the recording session.
  • Enhance the transitions between the control booth and the studio with visual reactions from the characters. Show their anticipation or anxiety to make the moment feel more impactful.



Scene 48 -  A Chance Encounter at the Clothing Store
103 INT. PAUL SARGENT CLOTHING STORE -- DAY 103

A clerk is wrapping up a package for Bob: several identical
spectacular shirts with polka dots the size of puddles.

AL KOOPER
(re: the polka dot shirt)
Newport never seen duds like these.

Neuwirth and Al Kooper arrive at the counter next to Bob, who
puts down cash, noticing --

PETE SEEGER out on 4th street. He stares at their motorcycles
at the curb, recognizing them. Turns and peers in the window.

CUT TO:
104 EXT. PAUL SARGENT STORE -- 4TH STREET -- DAY 104

Bob emerges from the store to find Pete. Something awkward
between them as they regard each other, shaking hands.

BOB
Hey, Pete.

PETE
(re: motorcycle)
I had a feeling this was yours.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 90.


PASSING GIRL
OM MY GOD! I LOVE YOU, BOB!!

A PASSING GIRL clutches Bob, kisses him.

PETE
I tried calling but..

BOB
Yeah. Sorry I haven’t --
(unwinding the girl)
Babe, I’m talking to my friend here.
(back to Pete)
I’ve been in the studio every day
since I got back.

PETE
New songs?

BOB
A few. ‘But this album’s more
complicated. ..More elements.

PETE
Going electric on this one?

BOB
(smiles)
Newport starts day after tomorrow,
Pete. What are you doing downtown?

PETE
I had a last meeting with Harold.
..heading north tonight.
(beat)
Do you got a moment to grab a cup?

More passers-by greet Bob. He shakes their hands.

PETE (CONT’D)
I’ve been trying to talk to Albert
about your set, but it might be good
to cut out the middle man.

BOB
We’re closing the show, right?

PETE
Yes.. but..

AL KOOPER and NEUWIRTH emerge from the store, laughing,
carrying large boxes. Off the awkward greetings--
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 91.


BOB
Let’s talk up in Newport, Pete. I
haven’t made any plans for the show.
Kinda living day to day these days.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In a bustling Paul Sargent Clothing Store, Bob is preoccupied with shopping for polka dot shirts when he encounters Pete Seeger outside. Their awkward handshake leads to a brief conversation about Bob's busy studio schedule and upcoming performance plans, which remain uncertain. Al Kooper and Neuwirth join the scene, adding to the light-hearted atmosphere, but the conversation is interrupted by fans and Bob's distractions. The scene captures the tension between Bob's commitments and Pete's desire to discuss important matters, ending with Bob suggesting they talk later in Newport.
Strengths
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Casual yet reflective tone
  • Clear purpose and setting
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively conveys the awkwardness between the characters while maintaining a casual tone. It also provides a reflective moment for Bob Dylan, hinting at his current state of mind and priorities.


Story Content

Concept: 8.3

The concept of the scene revolves around capturing a chance encounter between two notable figures in the music industry, highlighting their casual conversation and reflective moments. It effectively sets the stage for potential future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the interaction between Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger, providing insight into their relationship and Bob's current priorities. It moves the story forward by hinting at upcoming events.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh situations through the characters' interactions and dialogue, offering a unique perspective on the music industry and personal relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger are well-portrayed, with distinct personalities shining through their dialogue and interactions. Bob comes across as reflective and focused on his music, while Pete exudes a friendly and concerned demeanor.

Character Changes: 6

There is a slight hint of character change in Bob Dylan, showcasing his reflective nature and potential shifts in priorities. Pete Seeger remains consistent in his friendly and concerned demeanor.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to reconnect with his friend Pete Seeger and discuss their music projects. This reflects his desire for artistic collaboration and validation from his peers.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to finalize plans for an upcoming music show in Newport. This reflects the immediate challenge of coordinating a performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is subtle, primarily revolving around the awkwardness between Bob and Pete. It adds tension to their interaction but does not escalate to a significant level.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character dynamics.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character interactions and reflection rather than high-intensity conflicts or resolutions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by hinting at upcoming events, potential conflicts, and character developments. It sets the stage for future interactions and plot twists.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interruptions and shifting dynamics between characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Bob's desire for creative freedom and Pete's suggestion to cut out the middle man in their music arrangements. This challenges Bob's values of independence and control over his work.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, reflection, and potential tension. It sets the stage for deeper emotional developments in future scenes.

Dialogue: 8.2

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the awkwardness between Bob and Pete, as well as Bob's casual attitude towards his music. It sets the tone for their relationship and hints at potential conflicts or resolutions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between characters, the sense of anticipation for the upcoming music show, and the subtle conflicts that drive the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest, with well-timed dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to standard screenplay formatting conventions, making it easy to read and visualize for production purposes.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character-driven dialogue scenes, with clear transitions and pacing that maintain the audience's engagement.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the casual yet complex relationship between Bob and Pete, showcasing their history and the tension surrounding Bob's upcoming performance. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen their interaction, as the current exchanges feel somewhat surface-level.
  • The introduction of the passing girl who kisses Bob adds a layer of complexity to his character, illustrating his fame and the distractions that come with it. However, this moment could be used more effectively to highlight Bob's internal conflict regarding his celebrity status and personal relationships.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, particularly in the transitions between dialogue and actions. Slowing down the rhythm could allow for more emotional weight in their conversation, especially regarding the upcoming Newport performance and Bob's artistic direction.
  • The visual elements, such as the polka dot shirts and the motorcycles, are vivid and contribute to the scene's atmosphere. However, the significance of these items could be further explored to enhance their thematic relevance, perhaps linking the shirts to Bob's evolving identity as an artist.
  • The scene ends somewhat abruptly without a strong emotional or narrative resolution. A more definitive conclusion to their conversation could provide a clearer sense of direction for Bob's character arc and the stakes involved in his performance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue between Bob and Pete, allowing their history and the weight of their conversation to resonate more deeply with the audience.
  • Use the passing girl's interaction with Bob to explore his feelings about fame and its impact on his relationships, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or reaction that reveals his discomfort.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for more pauses and moments of reflection, particularly during key exchanges between Bob and Pete regarding the Newport performance.
  • Explore the thematic significance of the polka dot shirts and motorcycles further, perhaps by having Bob reflect on how these items represent his artistic evolution or the pressures of his public persona.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more definitive emotional beat or decision from Bob regarding his performance, providing a clearer sense of his character's trajectory moving forward.



Scene 49 -  A Spontaneous Ride to Newport
105 INT. SYLVIE’S APARTMENT -- MORNING 105

Sylvie hears the sound of Bob’s Triumph in the street.

BOB
Sylvie! ..Sylvie!!

Sylvie throws open the window.

Below, Bob smokes a cigarette.

BOB (CONT’D)
I’m headed up to Newport. Wanna come?

Sylvie SLAMS the window shut.

106 EXT. SYLVIE’S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER 106

Still waiting, Bob flicks his butt. Then the front door of
the apartment opens. A backpack appears on the stoop followed
by Sylvie. She crosses to Bob and climbs on the bike knowing
full well this is stupid.

BOB
Hold on.

She puts her arms around him and they blast off.
CUT TO:
107 EXT. ON THE ROAD TO NEWPORT -- MORNING 107

Bob and Sylvie on the Triumph, en route to New England,
Manhattan behind them. Sun low, rising on a summer day.

We hear “Mr. Tambourine Man” on The radio sung by Bob, but
also sung by fans in other cars listening.

FAN VOICES SING
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song
for me. I’m not sleepy and there is no
place I’m going to.
CUT TO:
108 EXT. THE STREETS OF NEWPORT -- DAY 108

Riding down the main street of town. Bob is recognized. Some
people point, others nod, a few call his name.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 92.


He grins but keeps driving. Sylvie’s hair flows behind her.
Aerodynamics.

In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come
following you...
CUT TO:
109 EXT. VIKING MOTEL -- NEWPORT -- DAY 109

Bob and Sylvie pull up on the Triumph. Sylvie takes in the
menagerie of musicians waiting outside the motel office to
register. A mix of sounds comes from rooms and the lot :

...South African kwela on the penny-whistle.. Appalachian
fiddle... a North Carolina ballad singer rehearsing.. someone
from the Hebrides singing in Gaelic..

SYLVIE
Wow.

Jesse Moffette sits, drinking peppy, working a blues riff.

JESSE MOFFETTE
Bobby D. You’re lookin’ unlike
yourself. Who you runnin’ with?

BOB
Runnin’ wild, Jesse.

JESSE MOFFETTE
(re: Sylvie)
She wild too?

SYLVIE
Only when the moon’s full.

Jesse guffaws as AN ORGANIZER hands Bob credentials.
CUT TO:
110 INT. BOB’S ROOM, THE VIKING MOTEL -- DAY 110

Sylvie lies on the bed as Bob lights two cigarettes in his
mouth and hands her one, like Paul Henreid in “Now, Voyager”.
He lies beside her as she takes a drag.

SYLVIE
Does this make me Bette Davis?
..She ended up alone in that movie.

BOB
Nah. They got together. When they were
older, they got together.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 93.


Neuwirth bursts through the door with TWO GUITAR CASES. He
pays no attention to Bob and Sylvie as he snaps the cases
open on the couch. One is BOB’S ACOUSTIC GIBSON NICK LUCAS.
The other is THE RED STRATOCASTER FROM LONDON.

NEUWIRTH
Choose your weapon, general.
You got the guest thing with Joan.

BOB
Oh, yeah.
(to Sylvie)
I can meet you later, if you want.

SYLVIE
Why? I’d like to catch that.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Music"]

Summary Sylvie initially declines Bob's invitation to join him on a trip to Newport but changes her mind and hops on his motorcycle. They enjoy the ride, taking in the music and scenery. Upon arrival, they are greeted by a lively atmosphere filled with musicians. Inside the Viking Motel, they share a moment while smoking, but the arrival of Bob's friend Neuwirth, carrying guitar cases, shifts the focus to Bob's upcoming performance.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited conflict
  • Potential lack of clear resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the upcoming events in Newport while providing insight into the characters' dynamics and emotions. The mix of nostalgia, reflection, and playfulness adds depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bob and Sylvie embarking on a journey together to Newport serves as a pivotal moment in their relationship, setting the stage for potential growth and conflict. The scene effectively conveys their dynamic.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob and Sylvie's journey to Newport, hinting at potential developments and conflicts to come. It moves the story forward while building anticipation for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as the music festival setting and the characters' interactions with musicians. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves into the complex relationship between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their personalities, emotions, and dynamics. Their interactions feel genuine and layered, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle hints of character growth and potential changes, the scene primarily focuses on establishing the dynamics between Bob and Sylvie. Their relationship may evolve in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Sylvie's internal goal is to break out of her routine and embrace spontaneity and adventure. She is torn between her desire for excitement and her fear of the unknown.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to attend the music festival in Newport and experience new musical influences. This goal reflects her passion for music and desire to explore different genres.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there are hints of tension and potential conflicts in the scene, the overall conflict level is moderate. The focus is more on the characters' relationship and emotions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. The characters face obstacles that challenge their goals and motivations.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing more on the characters' relationship and potential conflicts rather than high-stakes events. The emotional and relational aspects take precedence.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the events in Newport and hinting at potential conflicts and resolutions. It builds anticipation for future developments and adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' spontaneous decisions and unexpected interactions. The audience is kept on their toes as the story unfolds.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between embracing spontaneity and sticking to a routine. Sylvie's decision to join Bob on the trip challenges her beliefs about taking risks and stepping out of her comfort zone.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from nostalgia to anticipation, adding depth to the characters and their journey. The emotional impact is significant and sets the stage for future developments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, revealing insights into the characters' thoughts and feelings. It flows naturally and contributes to the development of the relationship between Bob and Sylvie.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic characters, witty dialogue, and sense of adventure. The audience is drawn into the characters' journey and the vibrant music scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and description. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions are vivid and enhance the reader's understanding of the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined beats that advance the plot and develop the characters. The pacing is effective and keeps the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the spontaneity and excitement of Bob and Sylvie's relationship, as well as the vibrant atmosphere of the Newport Folk Festival. However, the transition from Sylvie's initial rejection to her quick decision to join Bob could benefit from more internal conflict or hesitation to enhance the emotional stakes.
  • The dialogue is playful and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly in the exchange between Bob and Jesse Moffette. However, the dialogue could be tightened in places to maintain a brisk pace and avoid any potential redundancy, especially in the interactions that follow Bob's arrival at the motel.
  • The use of music, particularly 'Mr. Tambourine Man,' is a strong choice that ties the scene to the larger themes of the script. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment, such as the sounds of the festival or the sights of Newport, which would enhance the overall atmosphere.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, but the scene could use more dynamic action to convey the energy of the motorcycle ride and the festival atmosphere. For instance, incorporating more physical reactions from Sylvie during the ride or her observations as they arrive could deepen the reader's connection to her character.
  • The reference to 'Now, Voyager' is clever and adds a layer of depth to Sylvie's character, but it may require a bit more context for readers unfamiliar with the film. A brief line or two explaining the significance of the reference could enhance its impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or internal dialogue for Sylvie before she decides to join Bob on the motorcycle, which would heighten the emotional stakes and provide insight into her character's conflict.
  • Tighten the dialogue to ensure it flows smoothly and maintains a brisk pace, particularly in the exchanges that follow Bob's arrival at the motel.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment, such as the sounds and sights of Newport, to enhance the overall atmosphere of the scene.
  • Add more dynamic action or physical reactions from Sylvie during the motorcycle ride and upon their arrival to convey the energy of the moment and deepen the reader's connection to her character.
  • Provide a brief explanation of the 'Now, Voyager' reference to ensure that all readers can appreciate its significance and enhance the depth of Sylvie's character.



Scene 50 -  Bittersweet Farewell at Newport
111 EXT. NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- DAY 111

JOAN on the stage, singing to a huge crowd on the lawn.
Newport Bay sparkles on the horizon.

JOAN SINGS
Everything’s still the same. Just a
table standing empty by the edge of
the sea. Farewell Angelina.. The sky
is trembling.. And I must leave.
112 BACKSTAGE -- SAME 112

Bob, Sylvie and Neuwirth arrive. The first person they see is
Pete, who greets them. Sylvie tries to pretend she is fine
with Joan singing fifteen feet away. Bob straps on his
Gibson, exchanging a glance with Neuwirth.

Singing, Joan glances offstage, sees Bob and his guitar. She
flips him the bird, discreetly. Bob looks to Sylvie.

SYLVIE
I haven’t seen you in a while, Pete.
How’s it going?

PETE
Better than ever, Sylvie. It’s
jubilation through and through.

Pete moves on about his business, managing things, and
Neuwirth notices Sylvie, left alone, turns, watching Joan
singing as Bob steps to the edge of the stage.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 94.

113 ONSTAGE : JOAN FINISHES THE SONG. 113

JOAN SINGS
Call me any name you like. I will
never deny it. Farewell Angelina
The sky’s erupting. I must go where
it’s quiet..
114 BACKSTAGE : 114

NEUWIRTH
You okay?

SYLVIE
Sure. Why not?

HUGE CHEERS from the audience.

NEUWIRTH
There’s a party after.

SYLVIE
Great.
115 ONSTAGE : 115
JOAN
How about saying hello to the man who
wrote that one? Come on out, Bobby.

Bob steps out onstage TO A THUNDEROUS OVATION. He waves at
the crowd, then smiles at Joan. Her eyes are dark.

JOAN (CONT’D)
I picked something appropriate.

BOB
Appropriate?

JOAN
Fuck off and sing.

Joan launches the intro to “It Ain’t Me, Babe” and they start
to sing together. Two actors falling into familiar roles.

BOB AND JOAN SING
Go away from my window. Leave at your
own chosen speed. I’m not the one you
want, babe. I’m not the one you need.

MOVING CLOSER ON -- SYLVIE. Riveted, watching them, their
harmony, their rapport.. it unravels her.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 95.


BOB AND JOAN SING (CONT’D)
..Someone to open each and every
door. But it ain’t me, babe. No, no,
no, it ain’t me, babe. It ain’t me
you’re lookin’ for, babe.

Joan glances offstage while singing, locks eyes with Sylvie.

BOB AND JOAN SING (CONT’D)
..I’m not the one you want, babe. I’ll
only let you down.

Sylvie’s eyes fill with tears. She’s not built for this game.
She turns to leave, bumping into Pete.

BOB AND JOAN SING (CONT’D)
It ain’t me, babe. No, no, no, it
ain’t me, babe!

She hurries past him, turning her face away.

PETE
(to Neuwirth)
What’s that about?

Bob notices Sylvie has left and looks to Neuwirth--

NEUWIRTH
..Fuck.

He follows after her, down the steps.
CUT TO:
116 ANGLE ON -- SYLVIE, PUSHING THROUGH THE CROWD -- SAME 116

We still hear Bob and Joan from the stage as -- Sylvie moves
through the mob, heading for the gates. Neuwirth catches up
with her just as she makes it to where LOCAL CABS STAND BY.

NEUWIRTH
Sylvie. He’s gonna ask where you are.

SYLVIE
Tell him I went home.

NEUWIRTH
Come on, Sylvie..

SYLVIE
I can’t do it. I thought I could but--

NEUWIRTH
Just stay and talk to him.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 96.


She opens the door of a cab.

SYLVIE
He’s got a lot of people to talk to.
Like a hundred thousand.

CAB DRIVER
‘You getting in, Miss?

NEUWIRTH
You can’t take a taxi all the way to
the Village, Sylvie. There’s a ferry
to Providence that leaves every other
hour. You can catch a train from
there.

She looks to the next people in line.

SYLVIE
(to next passenger)
Go ahead. Take it.

They do and the cab drives off. Another pulls up.

NEUWIRTH
Just talk to him.

SYLVIE
Nothing to talk about. He has to keep
feeding it. He can’t stop.

NEUWIRTH
That’s not true.

SYLVIE
He has to cut the cords. To keep the
songs coming. To feed it. Maybe you’re
next. Sacrifices have to be made.

NEUWIRTH
I’m fine with him.

SYLVIE
Why? ‘Cause you think he’s Elvis or
Shakespeare or Albert Einstein?

NEUWIRTH
What he’s making is gonna live
forever.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 97.


SYLVIE
He doesn’t even let you play with him.
(climbs in taxi)
To the Ferry, please.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At the Newport Folk Festival, Joan performs 'Farewell Angelina' to a captivated crowd, while backstage, Sylvie grapples with her emotions as she watches Joan and Bob's complicated relationship unfold. Their duet of 'It Ain't Me, Babe' intensifies Sylvie's distress, leading her to decide to leave rather than confront Bob. Neuwirth attempts to persuade her to stay, but Sylvie ultimately chooses to depart, leaving her unresolved feelings behind as she heads for the ferry.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character interactions
  • Dialogue impact
Weaknesses
  • Sylvie's abrupt departure could be further explored for added depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a range of emotions and conflicts, with strong character interactions and impactful dialogue. The tension and emotional depth elevate the storytelling, making it a compelling and memorable scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring love, sacrifice, and artistic dedication within the music festival setting is well-developed and effectively portrayed. The scene delves into complex emotions and relationships, adding depth to the overall story.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene is significant, as it delves into the emotional dynamics between characters and sets the stage for further developments. The conflicts and resolutions drive the narrative forward, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of fame and artistic success, with authentic and relatable character interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their interactions feel authentic and emotionally resonant. The scene allows for character growth and reveals layers of complexity within each individual, enhancing the overall storytelling.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases significant character changes, particularly in Sylvie, as she grapples with her emotions and makes a decision to distance herself from Bob. The interactions between characters lead to personal growth and revelations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with her feelings towards her partner's success and fame, as well as her own role in his life.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate her emotions and relationships in the face of her partner's fame and success.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with emotional tensions running high between characters. The confrontations and resolutions drive the narrative forward and add depth to the character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome in her personal and professional life.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as characters confront their emotions, make difficult decisions, and face the consequences of their actions. The emotional and personal stakes add intensity and drama to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by deepening character relationships, introducing conflicts, and setting the stage for future developments. The narrative progression is crucial in advancing the plot and building tension.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, keeping the audience on edge with the characters' complex relationships.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the sacrifices and compromises one must make for artistic success, as well as the impact of fame on personal relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact on the audience, eliciting feelings of sadness, resentment, and defiance. The raw emotions and intense confrontations resonate with viewers, creating a memorable and powerful moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful and effectively conveys the emotions and conflicts present in the scene. The exchanges between characters feel authentic and reveal insights into their relationships and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity and relatable themes of love, sacrifice, and artistic ambition.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear and concise descriptions of the characters' actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced and engaging structure, effectively building tension and emotional depth.


Critique
  • The emotional stakes in this scene are high, particularly for Sylvie, who is grappling with her feelings of inadequacy and jealousy as she watches Bob and Joan perform together. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of Sylvie's internal conflict. While her dialogue expresses her feelings, adding more visual cues or internal monologue could enhance the audience's understanding of her emotional turmoil.
  • The dialogue between Sylvie and Neuwirth feels somewhat expository at times, particularly when they discuss Bob's need to sacrifice personal connections for his art. This could be more subtly woven into their interactions rather than explicitly stated, allowing the audience to infer the tension without being told directly.
  • Joan's character is portrayed as assertive and somewhat confrontational, which is effective in showcasing the complexity of her relationship with Bob. However, her flipping the bird at Bob could be perceived as overly comedic or juvenile, potentially undermining the emotional weight of the moment. A more nuanced gesture could convey her feelings without detracting from the scene's seriousness.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the performance to Sylvie's emotional reaction could be smoother. The audience might benefit from a brief moment of silence or a lingering shot on Sylvie's face before she turns to leave, emphasizing the impact of the performance on her.
  • The use of music in the scene is effective, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more specific lyrics or musical elements that resonate with Sylvie's emotional state. For instance, highlighting certain lines from 'It Ain't Me, Babe' that parallel her feelings could create a stronger connection between the performance and her internal struggle.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue or visual cues for Sylvie to better convey her emotional state as she watches Bob and Joan perform. This could help the audience empathize with her character more deeply.
  • Revise the dialogue between Sylvie and Neuwirth to make it feel more organic and less expository. Instead of directly stating their feelings about Bob's sacrifices, allow their conversation to flow naturally, revealing their thoughts through subtext.
  • Reevaluate Joan's gesture of flipping the bird at Bob. Consider a more subtle or complex action that conveys her feelings without undermining the scene's emotional gravity.
  • Enhance the transition from the performance to Sylvie's reaction by incorporating a moment of silence or a lingering shot on her face, allowing the audience to absorb the emotional weight of the moment.
  • Incorporate specific lyrics or musical elements from 'It Ain't Me, Babe' that resonate with Sylvie's feelings, creating a stronger thematic connection between the performance and her emotional journey.



Scene 51 -  Harmony and Discord at Newport
117 EXT. NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- CONTINUOUS 117

The crowd cheers and applauds, waiting for a second number...
Joan makes her own decision, and starts to sing...

JOAN SINGS
Perhaps it’s the color of the sun cut
flat an’ covering the crossroads I’m
standing at..

Bob smiles, enjoying her spirit. The tune is one of his;
“Mama, You Been On My Mind.” But she’s flipped the gender :

JOAN SINGS (CONT’D)
Maybe it’s the weather or something
like that. But daddy, you been on my
mind.

Bob laughs, joins her for the second verse..

BOB AND JOAN SING
...don’t put me down or get upset. I
am not pleadin’ or sayin’ I can’t
forget. I do not walk the floor bowed
down an’ bent, but yet...


JOAN SINGS BOB SINGS
..daddy, you been on my mind! ..mama, you been on my mind!

CUT TO:
118 INT. DINER -- DOWNTOWN NEWPORT -- DAY 118

Alan Lomax is working his way through a hearty lunch. Pete
works on a cup of black coffee. A radio at the back of the
place is playing Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat?”

ALAN LOMAX
Spanish omelette. Grab a fork.

PETE
I’m not hungry.

ALAN LOMAX
So. ..What’s he gonna do?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 98.


PETE
What he’s always done. What he wants.
What do you care?

Alan processes this. He inclines his head in the direction of
the radio, now playing The McCoys’ “Hang On, Sloopy.”

ALAN LOMAX
Top Forty’s a shitstorm, Pete. We have
to stand against it. And if that means
pissing Bob off, so be it.

PETE
There’s over seventy thousand people
here, Alan. And Bob’s the reason.
They’re all getting a taste of our
music. Our way. We could look at this
as a gift. I think Bob feels like--

ALAN LOMAX
He’s just chasing the Beatles.

PETE
I don’t think he’s chasing anyone.

ALAN LOMAX
Newport’s ours, not his. One week, ten
acres of sacred music.

PETE
You know what, Alan? I can’t do this.

Pete heads for the door. Lomax sighs, putting down cash.

ALAN LOMAX
You built it too, Pete. You gonna
watch him tear it down?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At the Newport Folk Festival, Joan captivates the audience with a gender-flipped rendition of Bob Dylan's 'Mama, You Been On My Mind,' prompting Bob to join her on stage, showcasing their creative bond. The scene then shifts to a diner where Alan Lomax expresses concern over Bob's influence on the festival, while Pete defends him, leading to a heated debate about the future of folk music. The contrasting settings highlight the celebration of music and the underlying tensions regarding artistic integrity, culminating in Pete leaving the diner in frustration after clashing with Alan.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling conflict
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of resolution
  • Limited character development for secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the internal conflict and external pressures faced by the characters, setting up a pivotal moment in the story with high emotional stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, exploring the clash between traditional folk music values and the changing music landscape, is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, highlighting the central conflict and setting up important character dynamics for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the folk music scene of the 1960s, blending personal storytelling with larger themes of artistic integrity and commercialization. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with clear motivations and conflicting beliefs that drive the tension in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience internal conflict and growth in this scene, particularly in their beliefs and relationships, setting the stage for future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Joan's internal goal is to express her emotions through music, specifically by singing a song with personal significance. This reflects her need for emotional release and connection.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to perform well at the festival and connect with the audience. This reflects the immediate challenge of showcasing her talent and making an impact.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between preserving traditional folk music values and embracing change is intense and drives the emotional stakes of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition between characters is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and high stakes that create tension and drive the scene forward.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the folk festival dilemma, including the clash of ideologies and the potential impact on the characters' relationships and careers, add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, character dynamics, and setting up important plot points for future events.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in terms of character dynamics and the outcome of their conflicts, keeping the audience invested in the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around artistic integrity and commercial success. Alan Lomax represents the traditional, authentic folk music values, while Pete is more open to embracing change and reaching a wider audience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions through the characters' internal struggles and the high stakes of the folk festival dilemma.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, beliefs, and conflicts, adding depth to the scene and driving the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, conflicting viewpoints, and the high stakes involved in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' dilemmas.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively builds tension and conflict between characters, leading to a compelling narrative development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional complexity of the relationships between Bob, Joan, and Sylvie, particularly through the juxtaposition of Joan's performance and Sylvie's internal struggle. However, the transition from the performance to the diner feels abrupt, which can disrupt the emotional flow. The audience may benefit from a smoother transition that connects the two locations more cohesively.
  • Joan's gender-flipped rendition of 'Mama, You Been On My Mind' is a clever and engaging choice that adds depth to her character and highlights the dynamics between her and Bob. However, the lyrics could be further emphasized to showcase the significance of this reinterpretation, perhaps by including a brief moment where Bob reflects on the change in perspective.
  • The dialogue between Alan Lomax and Pete Seeger in the diner is insightful, revealing their differing views on Bob's artistic direction and the implications for folk music. However, the dialogue could be tightened to enhance clarity and impact. Some lines feel a bit verbose and could be streamlined to maintain the scene's pacing.
  • The emotional stakes for Sylvie are palpable, but her decision to leave could be more explicitly tied to her feelings about Bob's performance. A brief moment of internal conflict or a line that encapsulates her emotional turmoil would strengthen her character's arc and provide a clearer motivation for her departure.
  • The use of music as a narrative device is strong, but the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions that capture the atmosphere of the festival and the diner. This would help ground the audience in the setting and enhance the emotional resonance of the characters' experiences.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bob after Joan's performance, where he acknowledges the significance of her gender-flipped lyrics, perhaps through a facial expression or a line of dialogue.
  • Smooth the transition between the festival and the diner by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two scenes, such as the fading sound of Joan's performance as the camera shifts to the diner.
  • Tighten the dialogue between Alan and Pete by removing any redundant phrases or lines that do not contribute to the central conflict, ensuring that each line serves a purpose in advancing the narrative.
  • Include a moment where Sylvie expresses her internal conflict before deciding to leave, perhaps through a line of dialogue or a visual cue that captures her emotional struggle.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of both the festival and the diner to create a more immersive experience for the audience, allowing them to feel the energy of the festival and the intimacy of the diner setting.



Scene 52 -  Confrontation at the Viking Hotel
119 INT. / EXT. VIKING HOTEL -- BOB’S SUITE -- LATE AFTERNOON 119

THE KINKS plays on the turntable. The motel is filled with
smoke and lots of people, in the suite, on the balcony.. all
kinds.

Bob enters, from his bedroom, freshly showered and sees --

Al Kooper crossing, finishing putting on one of the polka dot
shirts. He sits beside A SPACEY GIRL who chortles.

SPACEY GIRL
You could play basketball with those
polky dots.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 99.


ON THE BALCONY, JOAN crosses past with a guy, ghosting Bob.

BOB
Take that shirt off, Al. You look like
a clown, man.

Bob crosses to NEUWIRTH, who smokes by a window.

BOB (CONT’D)
..Where’s Sylvie?

NEUWIRTH
..She split. While you were playing
with Joan.

LOMAX, LEVENTHAL and BIKEL knock enter the suite. Albert
crosses, hiding a joint as he intercepts.

ALBERT
Gentlemen. You missed the poker game.

THEODORE BIKEL
But not the reefer.

Neuwirth checks his watch, looks at Bob.

NEUWIRTH
I didn’t want to sink you, Bob. She’s
probably still at the ferry if you
want to--

Bob grabs his jacket, crossing, digging for keys. Finds
himself facing Lomax and Leventhal.

ALAN LOMAX
Can we have a word, Bobby?

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
(re: the stereo)
Can someone turn that down?

BOB
Where’s Pete? He’s not in on this?

ALAN LOMAX
‘In on’ what exactly?

BOB
The posse of purity.

THEODORE BIKEL
We’re on our own.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 100.


BOB
Sorry, guys. I gotta go.

Bob moves to the door but Leventhal puts a hand on him.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
We just want to know what you plan on
doing tomorrow, Bobby. If you’re gonna
play your new songs.

BOB
Cause you want me playing old ones.

ALAN LOMAX
Cut the crap, Bobby.
(points at turntable)
Are you playing noise like this?

BOB
This is The Kinks, Alan.

ALAN LOMAX
‘Cause I’m supposed to introduce you,
and if you are, maybe you should ask
Dick Clark instead.

ALBERT
If you haven’t noticed, Alan.. There’s
a lot of people here in Newport. Ten
times what you had a few years ago.

ALAN LOMAX
Rather have fifty faithful than fifty
thousand groupies.

Bob moves off and away, down the steps to the street. Lomax
crosses to the balcony, yelling after him.

ALAN LOMAX (CONT’D)
It was the Newport Folk Festival
then, and it still is! Not the teen
dream, Brill Building, Top Forty
British Invasion Festival. A Folk
festival. Remember Folk, Bob?

BOB
(walking off)
No, what’s that, Alan? Maybe you can
sing me something.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 101.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In Bob's smoke-filled suite at the Viking Hotel, tensions rise as he is confronted by Lomax and Leventhal about his music choices for an upcoming festival. While Al Kooper and a spacey girl provide moments of levity, the atmosphere turns serious as Lomax insists on the importance of folk traditions, leading to a heated exchange. Bob, frustrated by the pressure to conform, ultimately decides to leave, ignoring Lomax's calls about the festival's integrity.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written, filled with tension and conflict, and advances the plot significantly by highlighting the clash between artistic integrity and commercialization.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the conflict between artistic authenticity and commercial pressures, which is crucial for Bob Dylan's character development.

Plot: 9

The plot is significantly advanced through the confrontation, setting up key conflicts and character dynamics for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the music industry in the 1960s, with authentic dialogue and character interactions that feel true to the era.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, leading to compelling interactions and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 8

The scene leads to a shift in Bob Dylan's mindset and relationship with the Newport Folk Foundation, setting the stage for character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his artistic independence and integrity in the face of pressure from music industry professionals to conform to their expectations.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his relationships with other musicians and industry figures while maintaining his artistic vision.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and pivotal, showcasing the clash of ideals and values between Bob Dylan and the Newport Folk Foundation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and goals among the characters that create tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Bob Dylan confronts the influential members of the Newport Folk Foundation, risking his reputation and artistic freedom.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts, character motivations, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and conflicts, but still holds interest due to the sharp dialogue and tension.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between artistic integrity and commercial success. The protagonist's desire to stay true to his music clashes with the industry's pressure to conform to popular trends.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions of defiance, resentment, and tension, adding depth to the character dynamics and plot.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and drives the conflict forward, revealing the characters' inner struggles and tensions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its lively atmosphere, sharp dialogue, and conflict between characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining audience interest through sharp dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character interactions and dialogue in a music industry setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere of a party, reflecting Bob's current lifestyle and the tensions surrounding his artistic choices. However, the dialogue can feel a bit disjointed at times, making it challenging for the audience to fully grasp the stakes of the conversation between Bob and the other characters.
  • The character dynamics are interesting, particularly the tension between Bob and Alan Lomax regarding the direction of folk music. However, the scene could benefit from more emotional depth. Bob's frustration is evident, but it would be more impactful if we could see a glimpse of his internal conflict about his identity as an artist.
  • The use of humor, such as Al's polka dot shirt and the spacey girl's comment, adds levity to the scene, but it risks undermining the seriousness of the conversation about Bob's music. Balancing humor with the weight of the discussion could enhance the scene's overall impact.
  • The pacing feels rushed, particularly in the exchanges between Bob and the other characters. Allowing for pauses or reactions could create a more natural rhythm and give the audience time to absorb the tension and stakes involved.
  • The visual elements, such as the smoke-filled room and the lively atmosphere, are well-described, but they could be used more strategically to reflect the emotional states of the characters. For example, the smoke could symbolize Bob's confusion or the haze of fame, adding a layer of meaning to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or reflective moments for Bob to deepen the audience's understanding of his emotional state and the pressures he faces as an artist.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or a significant pause in the dialogue to heighten the tension before Bob decides to leave. This could emphasize the weight of the conversation and Bob's ultimate decision to walk away.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or reactions from the characters to complement the dialogue. For instance, showing Bob's body language or facial expressions could convey his frustration and conflict more vividly.
  • Explore the relationships between the characters further. Perhaps include a moment where Neuwirth or another character expresses concern for Bob, adding depth to their friendship and highlighting the stakes of the conversation.
  • Consider revising the dialogue to make it feel more organic and reflective of the characters' personalities. This could involve using more colloquial language or incorporating specific references that resonate with the characters' backgrounds and experiences.



Scene 53 -  Fleeting Moments
120 EXT. NEWPORT STREETS -- LATE DAY 120

Bob roars down the street. Devil on his tail. He doesn’t
acknowledge fans who wave and shout. END MUSIC as we--

CUT TO:
121 EXT. PROVIDENCE FERRY TERMINAL -- LATE DAY 121

THE FERRY approaches dock. Sylvie’s ticket is punched. Amid a
crowd of dazed fans, Sylvie hears a familiar sound--

On the other side of a fence on the wharf, Bob pulls up on
his Triumph. He kickstands his bike and crosses to the fence.

Sylvie meets him on the other side. Bob lights two
cigarettes, passes one to her. She smiles, takes a deep drag,
then flicks it. He reacts over his Ray Bans.

SYLVIE
Surgeon General says it causes cancer.
You should stop.

BOB
Next week.

Her eyes meet his.

SYLVIE
It was fun to be on the carnival train
with you, Bobby. But I think I gotta
step off now.

Bob takes this in.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
I feel like one of those plates, you
know, that the French guy spins on
those sticks. On the Sullivan show.

BOB
That a bad thing? I like that guy.

SYLVIE
I’m sure it’s fun to be the guy, Bob.
But I was a plate.

Bob sighs, looks off.

Sylvie touches Bob’s fingers through the fence. The ferry
whistle blows.

SYLVIE (CONT’D)
Don’t ask for the moon, Bob.
..We have the stars.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 102.


Bob rocks on his heels. Doesn’t know what to say. Someone
screams. Passengers recognize him, not hard with the polka
dot shirt. They converge. And, as they close in, Bob looks at
Sylvie till the fans fill the space between them.

PETE (O.S.)
Let’s welcome the Texas Prison
Worksong Group!
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a bittersweet encounter at the Providence Ferry Terminal, Bob rides his motorcycle through Newport, momentarily ignoring his adoring fans. He meets Sylvie at a fence, where they share a poignant conversation about their tumultuous relationship. Sylvie expresses her desire to escape the chaos of fame, likening herself to a spinning plate, while Bob remains conflicted and silent. As fans begin to swarm around him, a physical barrier forms, symbolizing their emotional distance. The scene concludes with Bob gazing at Sylvie, their connection fading amidst the crowd.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the bittersweet and reflective nature of Bob and Sylvie's parting, with strong emotional resonance and character depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of saying goodbye to a past relationship and the metaphor of spinning plates effectively drive the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progression focuses on the emotional resolution between Bob and Sylvie, adding depth to their characters and relationship dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the classic theme of love and fame, exploring the complexities of relationships in the context of celebrity culture. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob and Sylvie are well-developed, with their emotional complexity and conflicting desires adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bob and Sylvie undergo emotional changes in the scene, with Sylvie choosing to let go and Bob grappling with the consequences of his fame.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to express his feelings for Sylvie and come to terms with her decision to step away from their relationship. This reflects his deeper desire for connection and understanding.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his fame and the attention of fans while trying to communicate with Sylvie. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his personal life with his public image.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between Bob's fame and Sylvie's desire for simplicity creates emotional tension, but the scene focuses more on resolution and closure.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension between the characters, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the emotional core of the scene.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are emotional and personal, focusing on the characters' inner struggles and decisions rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the relationship between Bob and Sylvie, setting the stage for new developments in their lives.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn in Sylvie's decision to step away from the relationship, adding a layer of uncertainty and tension to the interaction between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bob's desire for a simple, genuine connection with Sylvie and the complexities of fame and public perception. This challenges his values of authenticity and personal relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with the poignant farewell between Bob and Sylvie resonating with the audience and evoking strong feelings.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional tension between Bob and Sylvie, with poignant exchanges that reveal their inner thoughts and feelings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional tension between the characters, the subtle gestures and dialogue that reveal their inner thoughts and feelings, and the dynamic setting of the ferry terminal.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional depth through the characters' interactions and the unfolding of their relationship dynamics.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and character interactions are well-crafted and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the emotional depth of the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bob and Sylvie, showcasing their complicated relationship through their dialogue and physical interactions. However, the emotional stakes could be heightened by providing more context about their past experiences together, which would deepen the audience's understanding of their connection and the weight of Sylvie's decision to step away.
  • The metaphor of Sylvie feeling like a spinning plate is a strong visual and thematic element, but it could be further developed. Expanding on this metaphor could enhance the emotional resonance of her character's struggle with fame and her relationship with Bob. For instance, a brief flashback or a more vivid description of the carnival train experience could illustrate her feelings of instability and pressure.
  • The dialogue is generally natural, but some lines feel a bit on-the-nose, particularly Sylvie's comment about the Surgeon General. This could be rephrased to sound more organic and less like an exposition dump. Additionally, Bob's response could be more nuanced to reflect his character's complexity and the weight of the moment.
  • The scene's pacing is effective, but the transition from their intimate moment to the crowd's intrusion feels abrupt. A more gradual build-up to the crowd's recognition of Bob could enhance the tension and make Sylvie's departure feel more impactful. Perhaps including a moment where Bob hesitates to leave Sylvie before the fans close in would add depth to his character's internal conflict.
  • The use of the ferry whistle as a sound cue is a nice touch, but it could be more thematically tied to the dialogue. For example, the whistle could coincide with a pivotal moment in their conversation, emphasizing the urgency of Sylvie's decision and the impending separation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or a more vivid description of a shared experience between Bob and Sylvie to deepen their emotional connection and provide context for her decision to step away.
  • Rework some of the dialogue to make it feel more organic and less expository. Aim for subtler expressions of their feelings that reveal character depth without overtly stating their emotions.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation from Bob before the crowd converges, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his choice to engage with his fans over his connection with Sylvie.
  • Enhance the metaphor of Sylvie as a spinning plate by incorporating more sensory details or imagery that evoke the pressure she feels, making her emotional state more relatable to the audience.
  • Align the ferry whistle sound cue with a significant moment in their conversation to heighten the emotional stakes and emphasize the urgency of Sylvie's decision.



Scene 54 -  Shovels and Teaspoons: A Clash of Purpose
122 EXT. NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- STAGE -- NIGHT 122

Pete Seeger, center stage... Behind him, SIX MEN IN PRISON
GARB carrying axes, under the watch of AN ARMED GUARD.

PETE
Six men serving life and the guard is
not a prop! Neither’s the tree trunk!

THE MEN circle the tree, axes in hand, and start their
singing and chopping. Offstage: Alan Lomax approaches Pete.

ALAN LOMAX
We saw Bob. Came away with a handful
of air. It’s gotta be you, Pete.
CUT TO:
123 EXT. NEWPORT -- VIKING PARKING LOT -- MORNING 123

Pete, in his pickup, parked across the street. Not happy with
himself. Eye on the motel, watching as--

..Bloomfield and Al Kooper stumble out of Bob’s suite. Bob
appears a moment, shirtless, before the door closes.

CUT TO:
124 INT. BOB’S SUITE. VIKING MOTEL -- MORNING 124

Pete enters cautiously with a coffee tray. The suite is
trashed. Food, bottles, guitars, ashtrays and bodies.
One bed with an entangled couple on it.

Pete steps over another person in a sleeping bag and sets a
cup in front of Neuwirth sleeping on a couch. Then, he turns
to Bob.

Bob is on the bed watching Pete, a sleeping body beside him.

PETE
‘Thought you could use a cup of
hot black this morning.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 103.


Bob takes the coffee as Pete notices the red Stratocaster
against the wall, beside the Nick Lucas.

PETE (CONT’D)
(re: the last coffee)
This one’s for Sylvie.

Bob pulls the sheets to reveal Albert Grossman beside him.

ALBERT
Hey. What. What the fuck?

Bob stands, takes the last coffee and hands it to Albert.

BOB
We already got a visit from your
posse. They kept asking the same
question.

PETE
Maybe they didn’t like the answer.

Bob crosses to the toilet. Neuwirth wakes. Grabs his coffee.

NEUWIRTH
Hey. ..Thanks, Pete.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
(fumbling for a butt)
It’s seven in the morning. Whatever
this is, Pete, can’t it wait a few
more God damned hours?

Pete moves some bottles off a chair and sits, sipping his own
coffee.. as Bob re-enters.

PETE
Bobby. Did I ever tell you the parable
of the teaspoon brigade?

ALBERT GROSSMAN
The parable of the what? Pete. It’s
the fucking crack of dawn here!

PETE
It’s a good story.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
Bob needs rest. We all do.

BOB
Let him tell his story, Al.

Bob sits down opposite Pete.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 104.


PETE
Imagine a seesaw. A great big seesaw.
One end is stuck to the ground because
it has a basket full of rocks on it.
And the other end is high in the air.
There’s a basket on that end too, but
its only half full - of sand - and the
sand is leaking. Now, some of us, we
have teaspoons - and one teaspoon at a
time, we’re putting sand into that
basket. It’s leaking out as we put it
in - and people are laughing at us-
but every few days a new person shows
up with a teaspoon, pitching in. We
all keep going, Bobby. You know why?

BOB
Why.

PETE
Because one of these days, or years,
or decades, who knows, enough people
are gonna be using their little
teaspoons all at once. And on that
day, that basket of sand is gonna get
so full that the whole damned thing
goes “Zoop!” and level things out.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
Right. We get the story, Pete.

PETE
I’m not sure you do, Albert. Newport
was purpose built to share traditional
music, homespun music, people’s music,
with other people, out in the air, in
nature. And since we started, six
years ago, more and more people have
grabbed teaspoons. Spoons for peace.
Spoons for justice. Spoons for love.
(to Bob)
Then you came along, Bobby.. and you
brought a shovel. We just had
teaspoons. But you brought a shovel.
And now, thanks to you, we’re almost
there. You’re the closing act, Bobby,
and if you could just use that shovel
the right way--

BOB
(staring at floor)
The right way.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 105.


PETE
You could level things.

Bob looks at Pete.

BOB
I sent you an advance of my record.

PETE
You did.

BOB
Well, did you ever listen to the music
you’re telling me not to play?

PETE
I could already see where you were
going on the last record.

Bob sits there, wounded. Then stands.

PETE (CONT’D)
You wrote great songs, Bobby. Songs
that started to change things.

NEUWIRTH
Nothing’s changed, Pete. At all. They
killed Kennedy. They shot Malcolm X.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
There’s more in this world to sing
about than justice, Pete. And there’s
more than one way to play a song.

Bob paces the room, looking for cigarettes. None to be found.

BOB
They just want me singing the same
songs, Albert. For the rest of my
fucking life.

NEUWIRTH
Did you ever stop and think, Pete,
that maybe Bobby just wanted some
friends up on stage with him?

ALBERT
They’re scared of your music, Bobby.

PETE
No one’s scared of anyone’s music.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 106.


ALBERT
Yes you are. You’re scared the kids
out on that lawn might like it.

PETE
Why would that scare me, Albert?

ALBERT
Because you’re pushing candles and
he’s selling light bulbs.

Bob finds his keys.

BOB
(heads for the door)
I need cigarettes.

PETE
Bobby.

Bob stops in the doorway.

BOB
The only reason I have a shovel, Pete,
is because I picked it up. ..It was
just lying there and I picked it up.

Bob exits.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At the Newport Folk Festival, Pete Seeger performs with men in prison garb, symbolizing life sentences, while urging Bob Dylan to embrace music as a tool for social change. Later, in Bob's chaotic motel suite, Pete shares a parable about collective effort, but tensions rise as Bob feels trapped by expectations from his manager, Albert Grossman, and others. The conflict over the purpose of music remains unresolved as Bob leaves, expressing his frustration and feeling misunderstood.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic richness
Weaknesses
  • Potential pacing issues due to dialogue-heavy nature

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with strong dialogue, emotional depth, and significant character development. The tension and conflict are palpable, and the thematic elements are thought-provoking.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using metaphorical storytelling to discuss the impact of music and the conflict between tradition and innovation is engaging and thought-provoking. It adds layers of depth to the scene and enhances the thematic exploration.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Pete Seeger's traditional views on folk music and Bob Dylan's evolving sound. It drives the character interactions and sets up future developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on music, activism, and personal responsibility, offering a unique take on the power of art to inspire change.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and relationships, especially Bob Dylan, who grapples with the expectations placed on him and the impact of his music.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to convince Bob to use his music as a tool for social change and unity. This reflects Pete's desire for a better world and his belief in the power of music to bring people together.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to persuade Bob to perform at the festival and use his platform for positive change. This reflects the immediate challenge of convincing Bob to align his music with Pete's vision.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is intense, both externally between the characters and internally within themselves. The clash of ideologies and personal desires creates a high-stakes situation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, power struggles, and emotional tensions that create uncertainty and suspense.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters confront their personal and professional dilemmas, facing the consequences of their actions and decisions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict, revealing character motivations, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. It advances the narrative in a meaningful way.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions, shifting power dynamics, and philosophical debates that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the different approaches to music and activism between Pete and Bob. Pete believes in using music as a tool for social change, while Bob is more focused on personal expression and artistic freedom.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, with moments of tension, resignation, and reflection. The characters' struggles and the weight of their decisions resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is rich and impactful, especially Pete Seeger's parable of the teaspoons and shovels. It conveys deep thematic meaning and drives the conflict and character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, philosophical conflicts, and character dynamics that draw the audience into the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, allows for character interactions to unfold naturally, and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively builds tension, develops character relationships, and advances the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger, showcasing their differing perspectives on music and social responsibility. However, the dialogue can feel a bit heavy-handed at times, particularly in Pete's parable about the teaspoons and shovels. While the metaphor is powerful, it risks losing the audience's engagement if not delivered with more subtlety or emotional weight.
  • The setting transitions from the Newport Folk Festival stage to Bob's chaotic suite, which serves to highlight the contrast between the public persona of the festival and the private turmoil of Bob's life. However, the abrupt shift could benefit from a more gradual transition to enhance the emotional impact and allow the audience to digest the significance of both environments.
  • The character dynamics are compelling, particularly the way Albert Grossman and Neuwirth challenge Pete's views. However, the dialogue can sometimes feel expository, as characters explain their positions rather than allowing their actions and emotions to convey the stakes. This could be improved by incorporating more subtext and allowing the audience to infer the underlying tensions.
  • Bob's internal conflict is palpable, but his motivations could be more clearly articulated. The scene hints at his desire for artistic freedom and the pressure he feels from others, yet it could delve deeper into his emotional state to create a stronger connection with the audience. This would enhance the stakes of his decision to leave.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly with the lengthy dialogue from Pete. While his speech is important, it could be trimmed or interspersed with reactions from Bob and the others to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening Pete's parable to make it more impactful. Focus on the essence of the message without over-explaining, allowing the audience to draw their own conclusions.
  • Introduce a more gradual transition between the festival stage and Bob's suite to enhance the emotional resonance of both settings. This could involve a brief moment of reflection from Bob as he leaves the stage or a visual motif that connects the two locations.
  • Incorporate more subtext into the dialogue, allowing characters to express their views through actions and reactions rather than explicit statements. This will create a more dynamic and engaging interaction.
  • Deepen Bob's emotional arc by including internal thoughts or flashbacks that illustrate his struggles with fame and artistic integrity. This could help the audience empathize with his character and understand his motivations more clearly.
  • Adjust the pacing by interspersing Pete's dialogue with reactions from Bob and the others. This will create a more dynamic rhythm and keep the audience engaged throughout the conversation.



Scene 55 -  A Chance Encounter
125 EXT. VIKING MOTEL -- MORNING 125

Bob moves toward his Triumph. He finds a big rental Cadillac
blocking his bike, engine idling, door open.

BOB
Shit.

Bob hears a cough and turns to see -- JOHNNY CASH buying a
soda from the motel vending machine.

BOB (CONT’D)
Hey, J-R.

Cash sips his soda and approaches. Doesn’t seem to recognize
Bob. Something wrong with him... Exhausted? High? Both?

JOHNNY CASH
(raspy)
Am I blocking you in, pal?

BOB
Johnny. It’s me.. Bobby.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 107.


Cash squints and sees Bob for the first time.

JOHNNY CASH
..Shit. Hey, there, Bobby.

BOB
I thought you left already.

JOHNNY CASH
We loaded out last night. June left
for New York .. But Pete asked me to
stay for the finale. Today, you know.

BOB
I do.

JOHNNY CASH
I just went for a.. I couldn’t
sleep..took a drive. Saw the ocean.
(notices the Triumph)
This yours?

BOB
Yeah.

JOHNNY CASH
Hold this. Let me get out of your way.

Bob holds John’s soda as Cash climbs into the Caddy, throws
it in reverse, a bit too hard, dinging a Chevy behind him.
Then he turns it off, leaving it there. Comes out carrying A
BAG OF “BUGLES”.

JOHNNY CASH (CONT’D)
Want some Bugles?

BOB
No thanks.
(jingles his keys)
Need cigarettes.

Bob smiles, wistful as he crosses to his bike.

JOHNNY CASH
You play tonight, right?

BOB
‘What the program says. But they don’t
want to hear what I want to play.

JOHN
Who’s they?

Bob looks to Pete walking back to his truck.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 108.


BOB
The men who decide what folk music is.

JOHNNY CASH
Well. Fuck them.

Johnny starts off toward his room.

JOHNNY CASH (CONT’D)
Make some noise, B-D. Track some mud
on the carpet.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In the morning outside the Viking Motel, Bob finds his Triumph motorcycle blocked by a rental Cadillac containing a weary Johnny Cash. Initially not recognizing Bob, Cash eventually greets him, and they share a moment of camaraderie. Bob expresses his frustration with the music industry, while Cash offers him snacks and encourages him to be bold in his upcoming performance. The scene captures a mix of nostalgia and frustration, highlighting the struggles artists face.
Strengths
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Subtle conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures a poignant moment between two iconic musicians, blending nostalgia with a sense of defiance against external pressures. The dialogue is engaging, and the interaction between Bob and Johnny adds depth to their characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of bringing together two music legends in a candid moment is compelling and adds richness to the narrative. The scene effectively explores themes of artistic integrity and resistance to external pressures.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is minimal, the scene serves as a pivotal moment of connection between characters, deepening their relationships and setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a unique situation with the unexpected encounter between Bob and Johnny Cash. The dialogue feels authentic and captures the essence of the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their personalities, struggles, and camaraderie. Their interactions feel authentic and add layers to their respective arcs.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interaction between Bob and Johnny Cash deepens their relationship and adds complexity to their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

Bob's internal goal in this scene is to reconnect with Johnny Cash and possibly seek validation or approval from him. This reflects Bob's desire for recognition and acceptance from someone he admires.

External Goal: 6

Bob's external goal is to get his bike unblocked and continue on his journey. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is an underlying tension regarding artistic freedom and authority, the conflict is more subtle in this scene, focusing on internal struggles and camaraderie.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate in this scene, focusing more on personal struggles and artistic integrity rather than life-threatening situations.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by deepening the relationships between characters and setting the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected encounter between Bob and Johnny Cash, as well as the unresolved conflict between Bob and the music industry.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Bob's desire to play the music he wants and the expectations of the music industry. This challenges Bob's beliefs about artistic freedom and commercial success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, blending nostalgia, camaraderie, and defiance to create a poignant moment between Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reveals insights into the characters' emotions and motivations. The conversations between Bob and Johnny Cash are nuanced and reflective of their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic between Bob and Johnny Cash, as well as the underlying tension and conflict.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue and action to maintain momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, making it easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure with clear character introductions and interactions. It effectively sets up the conflict and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of connection between Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash, showcasing their camaraderie and shared experiences in the music industry. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to enhance the emotional stakes. While the exchange is casual and friendly, it lacks a sense of urgency or tension that could elevate the scene's impact.
  • Johnny Cash's character is portrayed as somewhat disoriented, which adds an interesting layer to the interaction. However, the reasons behind his state are not fully explored. Providing a hint of his struggles or the weight of his experiences could create a more poignant moment between the two musicians.
  • The dialogue feels a bit expository at times, particularly when Bob mentions the 'men who decide what folk music is.' This line could be rephrased to sound more natural and less like a direct commentary on the industry. Instead, consider using subtext to convey Bob's frustrations without explicitly stating them.
  • The physical action of Bob holding Cash's soda is a nice touch, but it could be used to symbolize their relationship or the burdens they carry in the music industry. This moment could be expanded to reflect their shared struggles, perhaps by having Bob comment on the weight of the soda can as a metaphor for the pressures they face.
  • The scene ends with a somewhat abrupt transition to the next scene. While the line 'Make some noise, B-D. Track some mud on the carpet.' is a strong closing line, it could be enhanced by adding a visual cue or a lingering shot that emphasizes the weight of their conversation before cutting away.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or reflection after Johnny Cash's initial greeting to allow the audience to absorb the weight of their reunion.
  • Explore Johnny Cash's character further by incorporating subtle hints about his emotional state or struggles, perhaps through his body language or a brief flashback.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it feel more organic and less expository. Use subtext to convey Bob's frustrations about the music industry without directly stating them.
  • Utilize the physical action of holding the soda to create a metaphor for their burdens, perhaps by having Bob comment on it or reflect on the pressures they both face in the industry.
  • Enhance the scene's ending by including a visual cue or lingering shot that emphasizes the emotional weight of their conversation before transitioning to the next scene.



Scene 56 -  Electric Tension at Newport
126 INT. VIKING HOTEL, NEWPORT -- BOB’S SUITE -- LATE DAY 126

The black & white TV flickers, sound low.

In the bathroom, door open, Bob finishes washing his face and
pulls on his shirt. He lingers on his own face in the mirror.

For a flash, Bob sees himself in reflection outside of
Guthrie’s hospital room four years ago. Then it’s gone and he
sees Neuwirth enter in the mirror.

NEUWIRTH
Getting nuts out there.

Bob walks out without answering.
CUT TO:
127 EXT. THE VIKING MOTEL -- NIGHT 127

Bob, Neuwirth, Albert and Kooper hustle down motel stairs.

BOB
We do a few tunes and get out, thank
you and goodnight.

NEUWIRTH
Electric or acoustic?

Bob doesn’t reply, moving to a waiting car and a small crowd.

KID IN CROWD
How crazy is it gonna be tonight, Bob?

BOB
Nothing crazy. Check it out.

GIRL IN CROWD
It’s sold out, we can’t hear it.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 109.


BOB
I’ll sing louder.
CUT TO:
128 THE NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL -- SUNDAY NIGHT CONCERT 128

Roadies, on stage, positioning mikes in front of speakers..
..and down in the audience, at the sound board, Boyd the
sound man makes final tweaks.

Harold Leventhal approaches Pete.

HAROLD
How are we?

PETE
I think he understands.

Leventhal sighs in relief and nods to --

Alan Lomax, who in turn, crosses to the mic. A cheer rises.

129 BACKSTAGE : 129

Bob watches, over his Wayfarers. Neuwirth and Albert hang
close watching. But he feels more eyes than those.

SEEGER, TOSHI, BIKEL, YARROW, GEORGE WEIN and HAROLD
LEVENTHAL are all backstage engaged in conversations but
their minds are entirely on Bob.

Joan watches too. Even Jesse Moffette is watching. All eyes
are upon him. The clapping and stomping becomes muffled and
fuses with Bob’s own heartbeat. All eyes upon him.

ALBERT
You good?

Bob comes out of the trance. Neuwirth holds his Gibson
acoustic and his Strat. Bob takes the Stratocaster.

THE APPLAUSE AND STOMPING, KEEPS BUILDING. Pete Seeger
watches as --

BOB STRAPS ON THE STRAT. Harold looks to Pete, panicked.
130 ONSTAGE : 130

ALAN LOMAX
(over huge crowd noise)
Okay. Do I have to say his name? You
know who’s coming. Take him, you know
him, he’s yours.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 110.

131 BACKSTAGE : 131

Bob meets eyes with Johnny Cash, who just arrived backstage,
guitar on his back.

BOB
Shit..

Johnny nods to Bob. Bob nods back.

ALAN LOMAX
..Mr. Bob Dylan!

Bob flips his shades to Neuwirth. The band strides onto the
stage. Bob follows them. Doesn’t look back at Pete.
132 ONSTAGE : 132

Bob takes the stage, the band arranging themselves after him.
Thunderous applause during the tune-up.

Nervous looks among the Festival board members.

Then, with no preamble, Bob launches into a ferocious
electric version of “Maggie’s Farm.”

BOB SINGS
No, I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s
farm no more. Well, I wake in the
morning. Fold my hands and pray for
rain. I got a head full of ideas
That are drivin’ me insane.
133 BACKSTAGE : 133

It’s so loud that much of the audience is simply stunned, in
shock. For some, the shock becomes and outrage. Some militant
folies in the audience start to boo or catcall.

THEODORE BIKEL
There it goes. There it all goes.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
It’s gone.

Others in the crowd are seemingly into it, dancing and
whistling and cheering.

PETER YARROW
Just let him play it out.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 111.

134 ONSTAGE : BOB SINGS IN A FEVER. 134

BOB SINGS
It's a shame The way she makes me
scrub the floor. I ain't gonna work on
Maggie's farm no more!
135 OFFSTAGE : CASH STEPS UP BESIDE LOMAX AND GROSSMAN 135

ALAN LOMAX
They don’t need us promoting this
shit! Just drop a dime in any jukebox.

JOHNNY CASH
When’s the last time you saw a
jukebox, Alan?

ALBERT
When he cranked his Victrola.

Johnny barks a laugh. Lomax grabs Neuwirth.

ALAN LOMAX
Go over there and turn the fucking
sound down!

NEUWIRTH
It sounds perfect to me.
136 ROUTE TO THE SOUNDBOARD : 136

LOMAX pushes through the wings and curtains and backstage
crowd, making his way to the cables on the soundboard. BOYD
(THE MIXER) REACTS.

BOYD
Hey! Back off!

ALAN LOMAX
You work for me!

ALBERT GROSSMAN GRABS LOMAX who spins and KNOCKS ALBERT.

ALBERT
Mother fucker!

ALBERT THROWS A WILD PUNCH, Alan throws one back, and in
seconds THEY’RE BOTH ROLLING ON THE FLOOR.

Jesse Moffette casts a skeptical eye on the wrestling match,
then looks to Johnny Cash.

JESSE MOFFETTE
Too much girth for rumblin’.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 112.


Neuwirth, Joan and Peter Yarrow desperately try to pry them
apart while Johnny Cash stares in wonder.
137 ONSTAGE : 137

“Maggie’s Farm” roars to an end. Bloomfield steps close to
Bob, nodding toward -- the melee backstage.

MIKE BLOOMIELD
What the hell’s going on?

Bob cues a new tune: “It Takes a Lot To Laugh, It Takes a
Train To Cry” and leans into the mic, singing with intensity.

BOB SINGS
Well, I’ve been up all night, baby.
Leanin’ on the windowsill. Well, if I
die on top of the hill. And if I don’t
make it. You know my baby will.

Al Kooper steals a look backstage and sees the end of the
scuffle. The sight is not reassuring. Nor are the angry
sounds screams from the audience. Some iof the irate folkies
are throwing things, other starting to fight with fans who
like the music.
CUT TO:
138 AT THE SOUNDBOARD : 138

Boyd looks up from his controls, sees Neuwirth beside him.

BOYD
Neuwirth, this is craz-y.

NEUWIRTH
Just keep everything like we set it
this afternoon. Don’t change nothing
for nobody.
CUT TO:
139 BACKSTAGE : 139

Neuwirth returns from the soundboard just as Grossman and
Lomax are pushed to neutral corners.

PETE
(to Neuwirth)
Why can’t you turn it down?

Neuwirth mimes his hands being tied.

ALAN LOMAX
Tell them it’s an order from the
Festival board.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 113.


ALBERT
Fuck the board!

ALAN LOMAX
You’re on the board you fucking idiot!

Toshi watches as -- Pete stands there, the music pounding. He
seems to pop a gasket. He looks to Toshi, emotional, and
heads to the soundboard himself.

Johnny Cash ignores it all, listening intently as--
140 ONSTAGE : 140

BOB SINGS, consumed by the song.

BOB SINGS
I wanna be your lover, baby. I don’t
wanna be your boss. Don’t say I never
warned you. When your train gets lost.

Audience reaction has split, loudly: hollering and raucous
approval. And a decided undertow of booing.

As Bob approaches the end of the song, a fretful Al Kooper
looks to Bob, the cat-calls getting louder.

VOICE FROM AUDIENCE
Go back to Ed Sullivan!

WOMAN CLOSE TO STAGE
Judas!

A step too far, even for Bob.

BOB
Come on man.

MIKE BLOOMIELD
What should we do?

BOB
Don’t stop.

And then Bob launches them into “Like a Rolling Stone”.
Bob leans close to the mike, daring the audience.

BOB SINGS
Once upon a time you dressed so fine.
Threw the bums a dime in your prime,
didn’t you? People’d call say, ‘Beware
doll, you’re bound to fall. You
thought they were all kiddin’ you.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 114.

141 AT THE SOUNDBOARD : 141

Boyd looks up, astonished to see Pete Seeger upon him.

PETE
Let me at that board, son.

BOYD
I can’t do that, Mr. Seeger.
142 ONSTAGE : 142

Bob won’t let up. Hits the chorus. Loud. In the audience,
cheering, hollering, booing, cursing. Loud.

BOB SINGS
How does it feel! How does it feel!
To be without a home. Like a complete
unknown. Like a rolling stone!
143 AT THE SOUNDBOARD : 143

PETE
You have to turn it down! You are on
our stage at our festival!

BOYD
With all due respect, Mr. Seeger,
open your fucking ears.

Boyd turns his back on Pete who looks to --

THE AXE from the Prison Worksong Group, leaning on a wall.

PETE CHARGES FOR THE AXE BUT --

TOSHI PUTS HERSELF IN FRONT OF IT.

144 ONSTAGE : BOB TEARS INTO THE SONG. 144

BOB SINGS
You said you’d never compromise. With
the mystery tramp, but you realize.
He’s not selling any alibis. As you
stare into the vacuum of his eyes, and
ask him, do you want to make a deal?

CLOSE ON -- BOB, singing the chorus with venom.

IN THE CROWD : Things turn more physical. Dancing. Screaming.
Cheering. Arguing. Shoving. Shoving back. Throwing things.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 115.


BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
How does it feel? To be on your own.
No direction home. Like a complete
unknown. Like a rolling stone.

The band holds tight behind him as..

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
..Ain’t it hard when you discover
that, he really wasn’t where it’s at.
After he took from you everything he
could steal.

Punches are thrown. A picnic cooler goes flying.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
How does it feel! To be on your own
With no direction home. Like a
complete unknown. Like a rolling--
145 BACKSTAGE : CLOSE ON -- JOHNNY CASH 145

Enjoying the melee. The noise. He smiles wide as--
146 ONSTAGE : 146

BOB PRESSES INTO THE LAST VERSE.

CALLS FROM CROWD
“Traitor!” “Sellout!” “Scumbag!”
“Fake!” Phony!” “We love you, Bob!”

..A lawn chair clatters against the front of the stage.

BOB SINGS
Go to him now, he calls you, you can’t
refuse. When you got nothing... ...you
got nothing to lose.

Audience pandemonium continues as Bob takes the last chorus
like a racer on a hairpin turn.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
How does it feel? To be on your own.
With no direction home. A complete
unknown. Like a rolling stone.

The song ends and A RIPTIDE OF APPROVAL AND CONTEMPT RISES
as the musicians look to Bob: do we go on?
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 116.


BOB
That tears it.

The band hurriedly unplugs and follows him off the stage..

CUT TO:
147 BACKSTAGE : 147

Joan nods to Bob. Lomax is seething, Albert gloating. Jesse
Moffette grins at Bob. Johnny Cash wraps his arm around Bob’s
neck and speaks in his ear.

JOHNNY CASH
You just broke it down, Bobby. Broke
it down and blew my mind.

BOB
Thanks, J-R.

Bob stumbles onward and finds himself facing -- Pete Seeger.

PETE
What was that?

BOB
..You were right here, Pete. You
couldn’t hear it?

Out onstage, Peter Yarrow tries to talk frenzied crowd down.
He can hardly be heard above the ROAR.

PETER YARROW
..Hey, everybody.. you want more?
Bobby was only scheduled for three..

ALBERT
(puts a hand on Bob)
Wanna go back out? Let some steam out?

BOB
Why would I want to do that, Albert?

NEUWIRTH
To end the show.

BOB
We just did.

HAROLD LEVENTHAL
Bob, the crowd’s not gonna let up! We
need a finale. Bob. ..Please.

Bob listens to the roar, takes in the panicked faces.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 117.


BOB
Fuck it. Where’s the Gibson?

Neuwirth runs to fetch Bob’s Nick Lucas Special.
But Johnny Cash steps forward, holding out his own Gibson.

JOHNNY CASH
Use this one, killer.
CUT TO:
148 ONSTAGE : 148

Bob ambles onstage with Johnny Cash’s guitar. He adjusts
the mic and his harmonica rack.

BOB
Anybody got a harp?! A harmonica in
the key of E. Anyone?

A shower of harps rains on him. He picks one up and grins.

BOB (CONT’D)
Thanks.

He attaches it to his rack.. and then tears loose with an
unforgiving version of “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue.”

BOB SINGS
You must leave now, take what you
need, you think will last. But
whatever you wish to keep, you better
grab it fast.

This is goodbye, to everything and maybe everyone.

BOB SINGS (CONT’D)
Look out the saints are comin through.
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
CUT TO:
149 BACKSTAGE : 149

Pete and other members of the Festival board are huddled.

PETE
We need to get everyone out there.
Everyone together.

ALAN LOMAX
Together’s done. Your boy just tore it
all down.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 118.


THEODORE BIKEL
“We Shall Overcome.” That’s the
tradition.
150 ONSTAGE : BOB CONTINUES PLAYING HIS FAREWELL. 150

BOB SINGS
The lover who just walked out your door.
Has taken all his blankets from the
floor. The carpet too is moving under
you. And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
151 BACKSTAGE : ALBERT STROLLS UP BESIDE NEUWIRTH. 151

ALBERT
How fast can you get Bob out of here?

BOBBY NEUWIRTH
Like he wasn’t here at all.

ALBERT
Not that fast.
152 ONSTAGE : BOB BRINGS THE SONG IN FOR A FINISH. 152

BOB SINGS
Strike another match, go start anew.
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.

He walks off to HUGE CHEERING.
CUT TO:
153 BACKSTAGE : 153

Bob heads to the wings as other musicians file past him for
the finale. Some offer praise, others don’t look at him.
Neuwirth falls in behind him.

PETE
Bobby.. Come out with us.

Bob walks right past Pete. Past Joan. Toshi touches his
shoulder.

TOSHI
Bob.

Bob turns.

TOSHI (CONT’D)
Pete believed in you. From the start.
Please say something to him.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 119.


BOB
The gig’s over, Toshi.

PETE
Let him be. It’s finished.

Bob walks off, approaching Johnny Cash. Hands him his guitar.

BOB
Thanks.

Johnny Cash watches as -- Bob moves toward Neuwirth behind
the wheel of an idling car in the loading area.
CUT TO:
154 ONSTAGE : 154

Pete takes center stage strums and leans in to the mic.

PETE
Everybody, join us in fellowship and
farewell.

Pete sings “We Shall Overcome” and Joan joins him singing,
then Peter Yarrow and Toshi and all the other festival
artists assemble onstage, joining in. Pete puts an arm around
Toshi, the other around Joan as they belt it out and smile,
..but there is a pallor.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In Bob's suite at the Viking Hotel, he prepares for a performance at the Newport Folk Festival, reflecting on his past. As he takes the stage, his electric rendition of 'Maggie's Farm' shocks the audience, inciting boos from folk purists. Despite the backlash, he continues with 'It Takes a Lot To Laugh' and 'Like a Rolling Stone,' leading to chaos as the crowd reacts violently. Backstage, tensions escalate into a physical altercation. Bob concludes with 'It's All Over Now, Baby Blue,' leaving the stage amidst mixed reactions, while Pete Seeger and Joan Baez express their concern over the fallout.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Effective conflict portrayal
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential polarizing effect on audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, showcasing a pivotal moment in Bob Dylan's career and the clash between traditional folk music and the emerging electric sound. The tension, conflict, and emotional intensity make it a standout scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bob Dylan challenging traditional folk music norms with an electric performance is compelling and drives the scene's conflict and emotional depth.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan's controversial performance and the reactions it elicits from the audience and festival organizers, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the music performance genre, blending elements of drama, tension, and authenticity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, and Johnny Cash, are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Bob Dylan undergoes a significant change by defying expectations and embracing his new musical direction, leading to a shift in his relationship with the other characters.

Internal Goal: 9

Bob's internal goal is to prove himself as an artist and make a statement with his music. He wants to be authentic and true to himself, despite the backlash he may face.

External Goal: 8

Bob's external goal is to deliver a memorable performance at the festival and leave a lasting impression on the audience.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict between traditional folk music supporters and Bob Dylan's electric performance creates a high-stakes, intense atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and reactions from the characters and the audience.

High Stakes: 10

The high stakes are evident in the clash between tradition and innovation, the impact on Bob Dylan's career, and the reactions of the audience and festival organizers.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by marking a crucial turning point in Bob Dylan's career and the evolution of music at the time.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events, such as Bob's decision to play an electric version of his songs and the audience's mixed reactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between artistic integrity and commercial success. Bob's decision to play an electric version of his songs challenges the traditional folk music values of the festival.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene evokes strong emotions from both the characters and the audience, with a mix of approval, outrage, and tension.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension, conflict, and emotional stakes of the scene, enhancing the overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense emotions, and dramatic conflict. The audience is drawn into the tension and chaos of the music festival.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and intense, mirroring the chaotic energy of a live music performance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct scene transitions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a music performance scene, with a buildup of tension, a climax, and a resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and chaos surrounding Bob Dylan's performance at the Newport Folk Festival, showcasing the conflicting emotions of the audience and the reactions of those backstage. The use of contrasting visuals, such as the thunderous applause and the booing crowd, creates a palpable sense of conflict that reflects the broader themes of artistic integrity versus commercial expectations.
  • The dialogue is sharp and impactful, particularly in the exchanges between Bob and the festival board members. However, some lines could benefit from more specificity to enhance character depth. For instance, Bob's responses could reveal more about his internal struggle regarding his identity as an artist and the expectations placed upon him.
  • The pacing of the scene is dynamic, effectively mirroring the escalating tension of the performance. However, the transitions between the onstage action and backstage chaos could be smoother. Consider using more visual cues or sound design elements to bridge these moments, enhancing the audience's immersion in the unfolding drama.
  • The emotional stakes are high, but the scene could delve deeper into Bob's internal conflict. While we see his defiance against the audience's backlash, exploring his thoughts or feelings in a moment of silence before he takes the stage could add layers to his character and heighten the impact of his performance.
  • The physical altercation between Alan Lomax and Albert Grossman is a strong visual moment, but it could be more thematically tied to the overall conflict of the scene. Consider emphasizing how their fight symbolizes the larger battle over the direction of folk music and Bob's place within it.
Suggestions
  • Add a brief moment of introspection for Bob before he steps on stage, allowing the audience to connect with his internal struggle and the weight of expectations he feels.
  • Enhance the transitions between the onstage performance and backstage chaos by incorporating sound design elements that reflect the audience's reactions, creating a more immersive experience.
  • Consider giving Bob a more specific line or two that articulates his feelings about the backlash, allowing the audience to understand his perspective and emotional state more clearly.
  • Explore the motivations behind the audience's reactions more deeply, perhaps through a few lines of dialogue from audience members that reflect their disappointment or anger, adding depth to the conflict.
  • Strengthen the thematic connection between the backstage altercation and the overall conflict of the scene by having characters explicitly reference the stakes of the performance and the future of folk music.



Scene 57 -  Reflections at the Viking
155 INT/EXT. CAR IN LOADING AREA -- SAME 155

Bob gets in beside Neuwirth and they pull out as the finale
plays in the bg on the stage.

CUT TO:
156 INT/EXT. CAR -- OVER BOB AND NEUWIRTH -- SAME 156

Over Bob and Neuwirth as they pull into the lot of the
Viking. A party is spilling out on the balcony.
CUT TO:
157 INT. CROWDED ROOM AT THE VIKING -- LATER THAT NIGHT 157

The Temptations play as players we’ve seen throughout the
festival, young and old, party. Celebrating.. something.

Bob watches the celebration from an overstuffed chair. Albert
sits across from him with a piece of paper. Neuwirth nearby.

ALBERT GROSSMAN
This is Kretchmer’s lede for The
Village Voice.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 120.
ALBERT GROSSMAN (CONT’D)
“The irony of the folklorist and
parochial anger at Dylan’s rock and
roll transgressions is that he is not
Woody Guthrie or the Shangri-las but
this generations’ most awesome talent.

BOBBY NEUWIRTH
That’s good, cause this cat from the
Broadside just told me Dylan just cast
“a black shadow on all tradition.”

BOB
Who knows what evil lurks in the
hearts of men.. the shadow knows..

Neuwirth hands Bob a Kool as Maria Muldaur boogies her way
past them with two drinks.

MARIA MULDAUR
Hey, Bob. Wanna dance?

BOB
I can’t, Maria. My hands are on fire.

MARIA MULDAUR
How about a you, Bobby?

Neuwirth grins -- and dances away with Maria.

MARIA MULDAUR (CONT’D)
(to Bob)
Where’s Joan?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Musical"]

Summary Bob arrives at the Viking with Neuwirth, observing a lively party while engaging in a conversation about Dylan's influence on music with Albert Grossman. Despite the celebratory atmosphere, Bob remains introspective and declines to dance with Maria Muldaur, who later dances with Neuwirth. The scene captures the contrast between Bob's detachment and the vibrant festivities, ending with Maria inquiring about Joan's whereabouts.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited conflict
  • Lack of high stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances reflection and celebration, providing depth to the characters while maintaining a sense of festivity. The dialogue is engaging, and the setting adds to the overall atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reflecting on past events and celebrating amidst chaos is well-executed. The scene effectively explores the characters' inner conflicts and relationships.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by delving into the characters' emotions and relationships, providing insight into their motivations and conflicts. The scene sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on music, tradition, and artistic expression through the characters' dialogue and interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal depth and complexity, adding layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' emotions and relationships, the scene primarily focuses on reflection and celebration, resulting in moderate character changes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the social dynamics and interactions at the party while also processing the comments about Dylan's talent and impact on tradition. This reflects Bob's need for connection, understanding, and possibly validation in the midst of a lively social event.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to engage in conversation and social interactions at the party, particularly with Maria Muldaur and Albert Grossman. Bob also seems to be processing the comments about Dylan's impact on tradition, which could be seen as an external goal of understanding and interpreting the cultural significance of Dylan's music.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there are underlying tensions and conflicts among the characters, the scene focuses more on reflection and celebration, resulting in a lower conflict level.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicting views on music and tradition challenging the protagonist's beliefs and values. The uncertainty of how Bob will navigate these conflicts adds tension and intrigue.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in the scene, with a focus on personal and emotional conflicts rather than high-stakes drama. The characters' relationships and artistic pursuits are at the forefront.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing insight into the characters' motivations and relationships. It sets the stage for future developments and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue, character interactions, and the philosophical conflicts that challenge the protagonist's beliefs and values.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict evident in the scene between traditional folklorist views and Dylan's rock and roll transgressions. This conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs about music, tradition, and artistic expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from nostalgia to celebration, adding depth to the characters and their relationships. The emotional impact is significant and resonant.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and reflective of the characters' emotions and thoughts. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall atmosphere.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its lively and dynamic interactions between characters, the celebratory atmosphere, and the philosophical conflicts that add depth to the narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and character interactions in a way that maintains the energy and momentum of the party setting.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and characters. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the celebratory atmosphere of the Viking Hotel party, but it lacks a strong emotional anchor for Bob. While we see him observing the festivities, there is little insight into his internal state, which could enhance the audience's connection to his character. Consider adding a moment of reflection or dialogue that reveals Bob's feelings about the festival's aftermath and his place within it.
  • The dialogue between Bob and Albert Grossman is informative but feels somewhat expository. It serves to convey the reactions to Bob's performance, yet it could benefit from a more dynamic exchange that showcases their relationship. Adding tension or differing opinions between them could create a more engaging interaction.
  • The introduction of Maria Muldaur is a nice touch, but her interaction with Bob feels a bit abrupt. It would be more impactful if there were a brief moment that highlights their history or camaraderie, making her invitation to dance feel more significant. This could also serve to contrast Bob's current emotional state with the carefree atmosphere around him.
  • The line 'Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.. the shadow knows..' is clever but may come off as overly cryptic or detached in this context. It could be rephrased or replaced with something that resonates more with Bob's current struggles and the festival's impact on his identity as an artist.
  • The scene transitions quickly between moments without fully exploring the implications of Bob's actions at the festival. A more gradual build-up to the party atmosphere, perhaps through Bob's observations or interactions with other characters, could enhance the sense of celebration while also reflecting on the tension that preceded it.
Suggestions
  • Add a moment of introspection for Bob, perhaps through a voiceover or a conversation with Neuwirth, that reflects on the mixed reactions to his performance and his feelings about his evolving identity as an artist.
  • Consider deepening the dialogue between Bob and Albert by introducing a conflict or differing perspectives on Bob's role in the music scene, which could add layers to their relationship and the overall narrative.
  • Enhance Maria Muldaur's introduction by including a brief exchange that highlights her relationship with Bob, making her invitation to dance feel more personal and meaningful.
  • Rework Bob's line about the 'shadow' to better align with his emotional state and the themes of the scene, ensuring it resonates with the audience and adds depth to his character.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for more character interactions and reactions, creating a richer atmosphere that reflects both the celebration and the underlying tensions from the festival.



Scene 58 -  Bittersweet Farewell
158 EXT. THE VIKING MOTEL -- NIGHT 158

Post show traffic clogs the streets. PETE AND TOSHI climb out
of their wagon. They cross toward their room but Pete pauses,
looking back toward --

THE THUMPING PARTY across the parking lot.

PETE
(unlocks room for Toshi)
I need a minute. Won’t be long.

Toshi looks pained as Pete crosses toward the noise.

Pete arrives at the party. He is about to go inside when he
nearly gets run over by loud folks stumbling out. He sees --

Bob, across the room, alone.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 121.


Pete turns and walks away.
CUT TO:
159 INT. PARTY ROOM AT THE VIKING -- DAWN 159

Stragglers dance slow, others make out, or crash. Bob still
sits in his chair as dawn light breaks in the window behind
him. Across the room, Albert keeps a eye on him.

BOB
He shot the midnight lantern out of
the brakeman’s hand.. And it’s ride,
ride, ride..

Bob gets up, heads straight for the door.
CUT TO:
160 EXT. THE VIKING HOTEL PARKING LOT -- DAWN 160

Bob shuffles to his Triumph.

JOAN (O.S.)
Let go of it, Bobby. You won.

Bob hops on his bike, turns, and looks at her standing there.

BOB
What did I win, Joan?

JOAN
Freedom. From all of us and our shit.

BOB
(looks off)
They didn’t call you Judas.

JOAN
Maybe it was what you had to do. But
you’re not the only one who got hurt.

Bob looks at Joan. Sees emotion in her eyes. Holds her gaze.

BOB
(smiles)
See you soon, Nightingale.

Bob jumps on the starter and drives off, raising a hand above
his head. Joan raises hers.
CUT TO:
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 122.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In the aftermath of a party at the Viking Motel, Pete investigates the noise, leaving Toshi behind. He spots Bob alone but chooses not to approach him. As dawn breaks, Bob reflects on his isolation and engages in an emotionally charged conversation with Joan, who confronts him about his past actions. Their exchange reveals shared pain and a bittersweet acknowledgment of freedom and loss. The scene concludes with Bob riding off on his motorcycle, raising a hand in farewell to Joan, symbolizing both departure and unresolved connections.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant moments
Weaknesses
  • Subtle conflict
  • Limited external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a range of emotions and sets up a significant turning point for the character of Bob Dylan, showcasing his internal conflict and the impact of his actions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of departure and reflection is central to the scene, highlighting the internal struggles and relationships of the characters. It effectively conveys the emotional complexity of the situation.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Bob Dylan's emotional journey and the aftermath of his controversial performance, moving the story forward while exploring key relationships and conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on themes of freedom, sacrifice, and personal growth through nuanced character interactions and unexpected plot developments.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, are well-developed and their interactions are rich with emotion and depth. The scene allows for meaningful exploration of their personalities and relationships.

Character Changes: 8

Bob Dylan undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, grappling with his decisions and the impact on his relationships. The moment of departure marks a turning point for his character.

Internal Goal: 8

Pete's internal goal in this scene is to confront his emotions and possibly his past by pausing to look back at the party and then walking away after seeing Bob alone.

External Goal: 7.5

Bob's external goal is to find freedom from the people and situations that have hurt him, as reflected in his conversation with Joan.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bob Dylan's emotional turmoil and the repercussions of his controversial performance. The tension is subtle but impactful.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, challenging the characters' beliefs and motivations while keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of Bob Dylan's reputation, relationships, and artistic integrity. The scene highlights the consequences of his actions and the emotional weight of his decisions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by exploring the aftermath of the Newport Folk Festival performance and setting up future conflicts and developments for the characters. It advances the narrative while deepening character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and plot developments, keeping the audience intrigued and uncertain about the characters' choices and outcomes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the theme of sacrifice and personal freedom. Bob's actions and Joan's words challenge his beliefs and values, forcing him to confront the consequences of his choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of bittersweetness, regret, and resignation. The poignant moments between the characters resonate deeply with the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the emotional nuances of the characters' interactions. It effectively conveys the internal struggles and conflicts present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, character dynamics, and thematic complexity, drawing the audience into the characters' internal struggles and external conflicts.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, with well-timed transitions and character beats that enhance the overall impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to standard formatting conventions for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure with clear transitions between locations and character actions, maintaining the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Bob's journey and his relationship with Joan, but it could benefit from deeper exploration of their emotional states. The dialogue is poignant, yet it feels somewhat surface-level. Expanding on their feelings through internal monologue or more nuanced dialogue could enhance the emotional impact.
  • The contrast between the chaotic party atmosphere and Bob's introspective demeanor is well-established, but the transition from the party to the dawn scene could be smoother. The abrupt cut from the party to the quiet of dawn may disorient the audience. Consider adding a brief moment that bridges these two contrasting settings, perhaps through a visual or auditory cue.
  • Joan's line about freedom feels significant, but it could be more impactful if it were tied to specific events or emotions from their shared past. This would provide context for the audience and deepen the stakes of their conversation. Additionally, Bob's response could reflect more of his internal conflict regarding his choices and their consequences.
  • The visual imagery of Bob on his motorcycle is strong, but it could be enhanced by describing the setting more vividly. For instance, detailing the early morning light, the sounds of the waking city, or the lingering echoes of the party could create a richer atmosphere and emphasize Bob's isolation.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat ambiguous note, which can be effective, but it may leave the audience wanting more resolution. Consider whether this ambiguity serves the story or if a clearer emotional resolution would provide a more satisfying conclusion to their interaction.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate internal monologues or reflections from Bob and Joan to provide insight into their emotional states and the weight of their shared history.
  • Add a transitional moment between the party and the dawn scene to create a smoother flow and enhance the contrast between the two settings.
  • Expand on Joan's dialogue to include specific references to their past, making her comments about freedom more resonant and impactful.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting to create a more immersive atmosphere that reflects Bob's emotional state as he prepares to leave.
  • Consider providing a clearer emotional resolution at the end of the scene, whether through a more definitive statement from Bob or a visual cue that encapsulates their relationship.



Scene 59 -  Dawn Reflections
161 EXT. NEWPORT FESTIVAL GROUNDS -- DAWN 161

Bob rides along the edge of the festival grounds. Volunteers
work with ground crew, stacking chairs, picking up trash. ONE
VOLUNTEER works close to the stage.

Bob slows, takes off his shades for a better look. It’s PETE.
Bob snakes his bike through fallen chairs. Pete glances up.

BOB
Picking up the pieces?

Pete thinks a moment, then answers in song.

PETE SINGS
..The only sound that’s left. After
the ambulances go. Is Cinderella
sweeping up. On Desolation Row.

Bob cocks his head.

PETE
Side two, last cut.

BOB
You said you didn’t listen to it.

PETE
I played it. Twice. Not sure I got it
all but I could hear it. It’s a rocket
into deep space.

BOB
What’s wrong with that?

PETE
People look small from space.

BOB
People are small, Pete.

Bob digs in his pocket for a Kool.

PETE
Have this instead.

Pete tosses Bob THE OLD HARP Woody gave him. Bob catches it.

PETE (CONT’D)
It was Woody’s. ‘Been holding it for a
while now. He blew it out a long time
ago. Needs a new reed.

Bob looks at the harp.
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 123.


PETE (CONT’D)
Get it fixed. It might even stand up
to an amp. Woody thought it’d be
useful to you.

BOB
After he hears the new album, he might
have something to say about that.

PETE
Something. But he squares up with
things. Quicker than most.

Bob pockets the harp. Kickstarts the bike.

BOB
See you sometime, Pete.

PETE
More than likely.

The strum of a guitar on a wire recording rises..

Bob rides away. Pete watches for a moment, his face a tangle
of emotions, then, turns back to his work.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary At dawn on the Newport Festival grounds, Bob rides his bike and observes volunteers cleaning up after the festival. He meets Pete, who shares a musical reference to Bob Dylan and gives Bob an old harmonica that belonged to Woody. Their conversation explores themes of perspective and the nature of people, culminating in a reflective exchange before Bob rides away, leaving Pete to continue his work.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Rich character development
  • Poignant thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of introspection and emotional depth through the interaction between Bob and Pete, setting the stage for a significant shift in the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the passing of wisdom and legacy in the music industry, is poignant and resonant, adding depth to the overall narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene is subtle but impactful, setting the stage for potential shifts in character dynamics and thematic exploration in future scenes.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unique character dynamics, poetic dialogue, and thematic depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger are richly developed and their interactions reveal layers of emotion, history, and conflict, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both Bob and Pete undergo subtle emotional shifts in the scene, reflecting on their past, present, and future in the music industry.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to connect with his past and reconcile with his own identity. He is confronted with a gift from a friend that holds sentimental value, prompting him to reflect on his journey and the people who have influenced him.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to continue on his journey and maintain his independence. He is presented with a gift that symbolizes a connection to his past, but ultimately chooses to move forward.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

While there is an underlying tension between Bob and Pete due to their differing perspectives, the conflict is more subdued and internal, adding to the reflective tone of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with subtle conflicts and emotional tensions between the characters. The audience is left wondering about the outcome of the protagonist's choices and the impact of his decisions.

High Stakes: 4

While the scene is emotionally charged, the stakes are more personal and internal, focusing on the characters' reflections and relationships rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the character dynamics, setting the stage for potential conflicts and resolutions in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the emotional complexity of the characters and the unexpected twists in the dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes as they try to anticipate the characters' next moves.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of identity, legacy, and the passage of time. The protagonist is faced with the choice of embracing his past or forging ahead into the unknown future.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, reflection, and bittersweetness through the interactions between the characters and the themes explored.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue between Bob and Pete is poignant and reflective, capturing the essence of their characters and the themes of the scene effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character development, and poetic dialogue. The interactions between the characters and the thematic elements keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and emotional resonance. The rhythm of the dialogue and the character interactions keep the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness and overall impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of reflection and connection between Bob and Pete, showcasing their shared history and the weight of their experiences. The dialogue flows naturally, with Pete's song reference adding depth to their conversation. However, the use of song lyrics can be tricky; while it adds a poetic touch, it may also risk losing some audience members who are unfamiliar with the song. Consider providing a brief context or emotional cue to ground the reference for all viewers.
  • The visual imagery of the festival grounds at dawn, with volunteers cleaning up, serves as a powerful metaphor for the aftermath of Bob's controversial performance. This setting enhances the emotional weight of the scene, but it could be further emphasized by incorporating more sensory details, such as the sounds of the cleanup or the atmosphere of the early morning. This would help immerse the audience in the moment.
  • The exchange about the harmonica is poignant, symbolizing the passing of legacy and the connection to Woody Guthrie. However, the dialogue could benefit from a bit more emotional resonance. While the conversation is intellectually stimulating, adding a layer of emotional vulnerability or nostalgia could deepen the impact of their interaction.
  • Bob's character is portrayed as somewhat detached and reflective, which aligns with his journey throughout the screenplay. However, consider giving him a moment of vulnerability or introspection that reveals his internal conflict about his recent choices and the impact on his relationships. This would create a more dynamic character arc and enhance audience empathy.
  • The ending of the scene, where Pete watches Bob ride away, is visually striking but could be enhanced by a more explicit emotional reaction from Pete. This would help convey the complexity of their relationship and the weight of their shared history, leaving the audience with a stronger emotional takeaway.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the setting, such as sounds or smells, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the dialogue by incorporating moments of vulnerability or nostalgia, particularly in Bob's reflections on his choices and their consequences.
  • Provide a brief context for the song lyrics referenced by Pete to ensure all audience members can appreciate the significance of the moment.
  • Explore Pete's emotional reaction more explicitly after Bob leaves, to convey the complexity of their relationship and the weight of their shared history.
  • Consider adding a visual or symbolic element that represents the themes of legacy and change, perhaps through the cleanup process or the state of the festival grounds.



Scene 60 -  A Bittersweet Farewell
162 INT. GREYSTONE HOSPITAL -- DAWN 162

A Folkways album sleeve parked against the spinning record
player. Woody Guthrie’s “Talkin’ Dustbowl” plays :

I've sung this song, but I'll sing it
again. Of the people I've met, and
places I've been.

The music continues and THE CAMERA MOVES ACROSS WOODY’S BED,
empty now, sheets tussled, an IV disconnected...

A harmonica plays with the record as CAMERA LANDS UPON --
A WHEELCHAIR, facing the windows, blinds open, light rising.

WOODY GUTHRIE sits slumped in the chair. Beside him, BOB is
perched on the radiator. Bob plays the harmonica.

Some of the troubles that bothered my
mind, and a lotta good people that
I've left behind, singing...

Bob takes the harp from his mouth as the sun breaks through
trees outside. He looks to Woody, who listens to the record.

So long, it's been good to know ya. So
long, it's been good to know ya...
ACU FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT 124.


CLOSE ON -- WOODY. Ravaged by disease, light in his eyes.

CLOSE ON -- BOB. He holds Woody’s gaze, then stands. He
offers the harp to Woody.

Woody shakes his head. Bob smiles, pockets it. He reaches
down and touches Woody’s shaking hand with his own.

I walked down the street to the
grocery store. It was crowded with
people both the rich and both poor...

For a moment, the two hands are still in the morning light.

ORDERLY (O.S.)
Mr. Guthrie is not allowed out of bed.
He hurt himself last month.

THE LARGE ORDERLY stands in the doorway.

BOB
That happens sometimes.

Bob puts his hand on Woody’s head. Woody takes Bob’s hand and
mumbles, pointing to his side table.

ORDERLY
Put him back. Now.

Bob nods, understanding. He picks up one of Woody’s business
cards and hands it to the Orderly. The orderly looks at it.

I AIN’T DEAD YET.

Bob cues the record again, picks up his bag and Gibson and
walks off down the hall, the same way he arrived.

CLOSE ON -- WOODY, whooping in approval as the orderly
crosses, grabbing his chair and wheeling him back to bed. As
he transfers Woody to his bed, Woody watches as --

OUT THE WINDOW -- BOB mounts his Triumph and RIDES OFF.

So long, it's been good to know ya.
This dusty old dust is a-gettin my home.
And I've got to be driftin' along.

FADE OUT.
Genres: ["Drama","Music"]

Summary In the early morning at Greystone Hospital, Woody Guthrie, frail yet spirited, shares a tender moment with his friend Bob, who plays the harmonica beside him. Despite Woody's desire to connect, an orderly reminds them of his physical limitations, leading Bob to respect the rules and leave. As Woody is wheeled back to bed, he watches Bob ride off on his motorcycle, symbolizing a bittersweet farewell amidst the backdrop of Woody's music.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is beautifully crafted, with a strong emotional impact and significant character development. It effectively conveys a sense of respect and nostalgia, making it a memorable and impactful moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, showcasing the connection between two iconic figures in folk music, is compelling and well-executed. It adds depth to the characters and the overall narrative.

Plot: 8.5

While the scene doesn't significantly advance the main plot, it serves as a crucial moment of reflection and character development for Bob Dylan. It adds emotional depth and complexity to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its portrayal of a musician's struggle with illness and the power of music to transcend physical limitations. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The scene delves deep into the characters of Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie, revealing their relationship and the impact they have on each other. It showcases their vulnerabilities and strengths, adding layers to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

The scene shows a subtle change in Bob Dylan as he reflects on his connection with Woody Guthrie and the legacy of folk music. It adds depth to his character and hints at his growth and evolution.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find peace and acceptance in his current situation, as reflected in his interactions with Bob and his reaction to the music.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain his dignity and connection to his music despite his physical limitations and the hospital rules.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

While there is a subtle conflict between Bob Dylan and the orderly regarding Woody Guthrie's care, the scene primarily focuses on emotional and internal conflicts rather than external ones.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge the protagonist's goals, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are more emotional and personal rather than high-stakes in a traditional sense. The focus is on the characters' relationships and emotions rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene doesn't propel the main plot forward significantly, it adds depth and complexity to the characters and themes. It enriches the narrative by exploring the emotional and personal aspects of the story.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, keeping the audience engaged and uncertain about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's desire for freedom and expression through music and the restrictions imposed by the hospital and his illness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, respect, and bittersweetness. The interaction between Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie is deeply moving and resonant.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is poignant and meaningful, capturing the essence of the characters' emotions and thoughts. It adds depth to the interaction between Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, poignant dialogue, and the conflict between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of emotional resonance to unfold naturally and build tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a poignant moment between Bob Dylan and Woody Guthrie, emphasizing the emotional weight of their connection. The use of music, particularly the playing of 'Talkin’ Dustbowl,' serves as a powerful backdrop that enhances the themes of memory and legacy. However, the scene could benefit from more visual and auditory contrasts to heighten the emotional stakes. For instance, the juxtaposition of the lively music with Woody's frail condition could be more pronounced to evoke a deeper sense of loss.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well in this context, allowing the visuals and music to carry much of the emotional weight. However, Bob's line, 'That happens sometimes,' feels somewhat detached given the gravity of the situation. It might be more impactful if Bob expressed a deeper emotional response to Woody's condition, perhaps reflecting on their shared history or the inevitability of aging and illness.
  • The introduction of the orderly adds a layer of realism to the scene, but his dialogue could be more nuanced. Instead of a straightforward command, he could express a hint of empathy or frustration, which would add depth to his character and the situation. This could also serve to highlight the contrast between the orderly's clinical perspective and Bob's emotional connection to Woody.
  • The closing lines, particularly Woody's business card reading 'I AIN’T DEAD YET,' are a strong thematic statement about resilience and the enduring spirit of artists. However, the transition from this moment to Bob riding off could be smoother. The scene could benefit from a brief reflection from Bob as he leaves, perhaps a moment of contemplation about Woody's legacy and his own path forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or visual memory that illustrates a significant moment between Bob and Woody, enhancing the emotional resonance of their current interaction.
  • Revise Bob's dialogue to reflect a deeper emotional connection to Woody's condition, perhaps by sharing a memory or expressing concern for Woody's well-being.
  • Enhance the orderly's character by giving him a line that reflects his understanding of the situation, adding complexity to his role and contrasting with Bob's emotional state.
  • Smooth the transition from the poignant moment with Woody to Bob's departure by including a reflective moment for Bob, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the moment before he rides off.