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Scene 1 -  Shadows of Trust
1 INT. POLICE STATION, BOSTON - NIGHT, 1976 1

A quiet, cold winter night. An OLDER COP emerges from an
INTERVIEW ROOM, walks down a long hall.

Boston, MA - December, 1976

He reaches the front desk. A YOUNG COP looks to him,
curious, as he lights a cigarette.

YOUNG COP
How’s that going?

OLDER COP
The mother’s bawling and the uncle’s
pissed off.

YOUNG COP
She’s not married?

OLDER COP
Divorced with four kids. I guess
Father was helping out.

YOUNG COP
Helping out?

The Older Cop shrugs. The front door opens and BURKE, FRESH
FACED, 32, walks in. He wears a dark overcoat.

OLDER COP
Hey, Mr. Burke. They’re in the back
talking to the Bishop.

BURKE
And Father?

The Older Cop nods in the other direction.

OLDER COP
We put him in the break room.

BURKE
Any press?

OLDER COP
Some guy from the Citizen, but we
sent him away. None of the big
papers.

BURKE
Let’s keep it that way.

Burke walks toward the interview room.
11/26/14 2.


YOUNG COP
(off Burke)
Who’s that?

OLDER COP
Assistant DA.

YOUNG COP
Gonna be hard to keep the papers
away from the arraignment.

OLDER COP
What arraignment?

He’s matter of fact. The young cop reacts, looks towards the
PRIEST (GEOGHAN) sitting in the break room.

OLDER COP (O.C.) (CONT’D)
You can tell Father Geoghan it won’t
be much longer.

2 OMITTED 2

3 INT. POLICE STATION, INTERVIEW ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 3

A BISHOP, 50s, talks in hushed tones with SHEILA, 33. TWO
BOYS, 7 and 9, sit coloring.

BISHOP
Sheila, you know what good work the
church does in the community. I
give you my personal guarantee that
I’m going to take Father out of the
parish and this will never happen
again.

Burke enters, eyes Sheila nervously fingering ROSARY BEADS.

BISHOP (CONT’D)
We’ll just be another moment, Paul.

BURKE
Of course, Father.

The Bishop turns back to Sheila. Burke eyes the kids.

BISHOP (O.C.)
Now Sheila, I’m going to give you my
personal card...
11/26/14 3.


4 EXT. POLICE STATION - LATER 4

The Young Cop stands outside smoking. He watches as the
Bishop and Father Geoghan exit the police station and get
into a TOWN CAR, a DRIVER behind the wheel. As they drive
away, we HOLD ON the cop. PROCESSING.

FADE TO BLACK.

SPOTLIGHT

FADE IN:
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary On a cold December night in 1976, a Boston police station becomes the backdrop for a tense encounter involving a distressed mother, Sheila, and church officials. As an older cop discusses the emotional turmoil surrounding Sheila's situation with a young cop, Burke, an assistant DA, arrives to assess the unfolding drama. Inside the interview room, the bishop reassures Sheila about taking action against Father Geoghan, who is implicated in her distress. The scene captures the gravity of the situation, with the young cop observing the departure of the bishop and Father Geoghan, leaving unresolved tensions in the air.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Mysterious atmosphere
  • Effective character introductions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a mysterious and tense atmosphere, hinting at a deeper conflict and potential scandal. The dialogue is engaging and keeps the audience intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a potential scandal within the church and the introduction of key characters in a police station setting is intriguing and sets up a compelling narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced by introducing the central conflict and hinting at the stakes involved. The scene sets up a compelling mystery that drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on a familiar setting, exploring themes of power dynamics and moral ambiguity within the church and law enforcement. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are introduced with enough depth to hint at their roles in the unfolding story. Their interactions and dialogue reveal underlying tensions and concerns.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions hint at potential shifts in relationships and dynamics as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and handle a sensitive situation involving a family and a church scandal. This reflects his need for order and justice in the face of emotional turmoil.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to handle the situation discreetly and prevent media attention. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining the reputation of the church and avoiding scandal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene hints at underlying conflicts and tensions, setting up the potential for high stakes and dramatic developments in the future.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and hidden agendas among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding tension to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The scene hints at high stakes by introducing the potential for scandal and betrayal within the church, setting up the possibility of dramatic consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key elements and setting up the central conflict, driving the narrative towards future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral complexities. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between protecting the church's reputation and addressing the needs of the victims. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice and loyalty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and concern, drawing the audience into the mystery and tension of the unfolding events.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is cryptic and loaded with subtext, adding depth to the interactions between the characters. It effectively conveys the tension and mystery of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the interpersonal dynamics and moral dilemmas presented. The dialogue and actions create suspense and intrigue, drawing the audience into the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building suspense and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions keeps the story moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere and setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dramatic setting, with clear character introductions and escalating tension. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense atmosphere in the police station, highlighting the emotional stakes involved with Sheila and her children. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic; it feels somewhat expository and lacks subtext. For instance, the Older Cop's lines could convey more emotion or personal investment in the case rather than just stating facts.
  • The introduction of Burke as the Assistant DA is clear, but his character could benefit from a more distinct personality or motivation. As it stands, he feels somewhat generic. Adding a line or two that hints at his personal stakes in the case could make him more relatable and engaging.
  • The Bishop's dialogue is somewhat clichéd and lacks depth. While he is trying to reassure Sheila, the language feels too formal and scripted. It would be more impactful if he displayed genuine empathy or if his words had a more manipulative undertone, reflecting the complexity of his character.
  • The scene ends abruptly with the Young Cop processing the departure of the Bishop and Father Geoghan. While this moment is significant, it could be enhanced by showing the Young Cop's internal conflict or moral dilemma, which would add emotional weight to the scene and set up the themes of complicity and silence that are central to the story.
  • The visual elements are minimal in this scene. Describing the setting in more detail could enhance the mood. For example, mentioning the coldness of the night or the dim lighting in the police station could create a more immersive atmosphere.
Suggestions
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext and emotional depth. Consider how each character's words can reveal their motivations and feelings without explicitly stating them.
  • Develop Burke's character further by adding a line that hints at his personal connection to the case or his feelings about the church's involvement.
  • Make the Bishop's dialogue more nuanced. Perhaps he could use language that sounds reassuring but has an underlying tone of manipulation, reflecting the church's historical complicity in such cases.
  • Add a moment of reflection for the Young Cop as he watches the Bishop and Father Geoghan leave. This could be a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that shows his discomfort or realization about the situation.
  • Enhance the setting description to create a more vivid atmosphere. Use sensory details to evoke the coldness of the night and the oppressive environment of the police station.



Scene 2 -  Farewell and Frustration in the Newsroom
6 INT. BOSTON GLOBE, NEWSROOM - DAY, 2001 6

A large newsroom. REPORTERS and EDITORS gathered.

Boston, MA - July, 2001

DEPUTY MANAGING EDITOR BEN BRADLEE JR., 50s, gruff, stands in
front with an older reporter, STEWART, 60s. And a cake.

BEN
Losing good reporters, it’s tough.
And losing one of our best... well
to put it as eloquently as I can,
it’s a real kick in the ass.

A few polite chuckles from those in the crowd.

BEN (CONT’D)
But Robby’s known Stewart longer
than most of you have been alive so
I’m gonna turn it over to him.
Robby?

Ben looks to WALTER ‘ROBBY’ ROBINSON, 55, Boston Everyman.

ROBBY
Thanks, Ben. I think. And although
I take issue with the reference to
my seniority, I will say Stewart’s
departure is especially painful for
me. You see, for... what? 20 years
now, Stewart’s been more than
willing to part with his money at
the poker table...
(Laughter)
And I got a kid in college.

More laughter.

STEWART
Yeah, but I’m gonna keep playing.
11/26/14 4.


ROBBY
Problem solved. Godspeed, buddy.

Everyone’s laughing now. Robby connects in a warm, easy way.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Now, Stewart, I find the timing of
your departure a bit disconcerting.
The corner office sits empty, the
new editor arrives on Monday, so
forgive me, buddy, but I gotta
ask... what the hell do you know?

The room hoots and laughs. Stewart covers his mouth. Speak
no evil. More laughter takes us to...

7 INT. GLOBE, HALL/STAIRWELL - LATER 7

SACHA PFEIFFER, 28, wholesome, no bullshit, and MATT CARROLL,
mid 40s, mustache, family man, walk down the hall, into a
stairwell and down a set of stairs, both carrying cake.

7A INT. GLOBE, HALL OUTSIDE SPOTLIGHT - MOMENTS LATER 7A

They emerge on the floor below, Sacha eating her cake.

MATT
How’s the cake?

SACHA
It’s really good. Saving yours?

MATT
Nah, it’s for Mike. I can never eat
at those things. They kind of
depress me.

SACHA
I know.
(taking a bite)
You see the numbers from Washington?

MATT
Yeah. Very interesting.

SACHA
I think so too.

They walk into --

8 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 8

CRAMPED OFFICE. Small windows. MIKE REZENDES, late 30s,
good looks, so-so haircut, sits at his UNHOLY MESS of a desk.
11/26/14 5.


MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Dan, I
talked to my guy at Justice, I know
you guys have been dropping cases...
(then)
Look, Dan, I’m not asking if the
PD’s lying, I know they are. All
I’m asking is who’s behind it?

Matt sets the cake by Mike, sits at a desk full of FAMILY
PHOTOS. Sacha checks messages at a tidy desk, full of books.

MIKE (INTO PHONE) (CONT’D)
I get it. You don’t want to talk.
(listens)
I’m not mad, Dan, I’m hungry. We’ve
been talking so long, I missed
lunch. So I’m going to go eat,
which gives you an hour to decide if
you want to be on the right side of
this or read about it in the paper
like everyone else.

Mike hangs up the phone, digs into the cake.

SACHA
You think Cahill’s got something?

MIKE
Maybe, I just don’t think this
story’s for us.

MATT
Ben likes it.

MIKE
Yeah, it’s not bad, it’s just not
Spotlight.

Robby enters.

ROBBY
What’s just not Spotlight?

SACHA MIKE *
The PD numbers. The numbers story. It feels *
thin.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Oh. You got Cahill to talk?

MIKE
(busted)
No. But I will.
11/26/14 6.


ROBBY
Good. Then we’ll know if it’s thin.

Robby goes into his office, bit of an edge to him.

MIKE
How’d it go upstairs?

MATT
Okay. Robby gave a good speech.

SACHA
I heard Lubin and Connor are going
to the Times.

MATTY MIKE
Come on, really? Yeah, I heard the same thing.

MATT
They’re leeching us.

MIKE
At least they’re sending us a guy
from Miami to run things. That
should help.

MATT
Has Baron even spent time in Boston?

MIKE
I don’t think he’s ever been here
before. Maybe we should buy him a
map.

SACHA
I have a friend down at the Herald,
said Baron cut 15% of the staff.

MATT
Great.

Mike rolls his chair back, calls out to Robby in his office.

MIKE
Hey Robby, the new boss coming in to
make cuts?

ROBBY
I have no idea.

MIKE
Aren’t you sitting down with him?

Robby looks up, fucking Rezendes, always snooping.
11/26/14 7.


ROBBY
Yes, I am.

MIKE
You think it’s about Spotlight?

ROBBY
I don’t know, Mike, but I do know
Ben needs an answer on the crime
numbers story.

MIKE
I’m telling you, I really don’t
think that story’s for us.

ROBBY
So you did get Cahill to talk then?

Mike, annoyed, wheels back to his desk, picks up his phone...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the Boston Globe newsroom, Deputy Managing Editor Ben Bradlee Jr. humorously bids farewell to departing reporter Stewart, while Robby Robinson shares a light-hearted speech about Stewart's poker habits. After the farewell, reporters Sacha Pfeiffer and Matt Carroll discuss cake and Washington's numbers before entering Mike Rezendes' cramped office, where Mike expresses skepticism about the significance of a police department story. Robby enters, leading to a discussion about the new editor and potential cuts at the paper, highlighting the tension between pursuing stories and the newsroom's uncertain future.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Effective establishment of setting and tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor and seriousness, providing insight into the characters' personalities and the newsroom environment. The dialogue is engaging and sets up potential conflicts and developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a newsroom's dynamics and the impact of new leadership is engaging. The scene sets up potential storylines and character arcs, creating intrigue for the audience.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through discussions about investigative stories, departures, and new leadership. The scene hints at potential conflicts and challenges the characters may face in the future.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh and authentic situations within the familiar setting of a newsroom, showcasing the complexities of interpersonal relationships and professional challenges. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined through their interactions and dialogue. Each character has a distinct personality, from the gruff Ben to the determined Mike, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, subtle shifts in dynamics and relationships are hinted at, setting the stage for potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his reputation and connection with his colleagues while dealing with the departure of a long-time colleague. This reflects his need for camaraderie and acceptance within the newsroom.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the changes in the newsroom, including the arrival of a new editor and potential story assignments. This reflects the immediate challenges and uncertainties he is facing in his work environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is primarily internal, revolving around the characters' reactions to departures, new leadership, and investigative stories. There is potential for external conflicts to arise in future scenes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and uncertainties among the characters, creating obstacles and challenges that drive the plot forward.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in this scene, focusing on the impact of departures, new leadership, and investigative stories on the characters and the newsroom. The potential for higher stakes is hinted at for future scenes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, conflicts, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future developments and challenges within the newsroom.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics and uncertainties in the newsroom environment, keeping the audience guessing about the characters' decisions and future actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the balance between loyalty to colleagues and dedication to investigative journalism. The protagonist must decide whether to pursue a potentially impactful story or maintain his loyalty to his team.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from amusement to concern, as the characters navigate changes in the newsroom environment. The emotional impact is moderate but sets the stage for deeper connections in future scenes.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities and relationships. It effectively conveys the newsroom banter while setting up future conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and underlying tensions that keep the audience invested in the characters' relationships and professional challenges.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum through the character interactions and dialogue, maintaining the audience's interest and driving the scene forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-driven sequence in a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy sequence in a screenplay, effectively balancing character interactions and plot development. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the newsroom environment and the camaraderie among the reporters, which is essential for setting the tone of the film. However, the humor, while engaging, may detract from the gravity of the overarching story about the church abuse scandal. Balancing humor with the serious themes of the narrative is crucial.
  • The dialogue flows naturally and captures the dynamics between the characters, particularly the light-hearted banter during the farewell speech. However, the transition from the farewell to the serious discussions about the police department numbers feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the scene's momentum.
  • The introduction of the new editor, Marty Baron, is mentioned but not explored in this scene. Given his significance in the story, it might be beneficial to hint at his character or the challenges he will bring to the team, creating anticipation for his arrival.
  • The scene lacks a clear conflict or stakes that propel the narrative forward. While the farewell is a nice touch, it doesn't contribute significantly to the plot. Introducing a subplot or a hint of the challenges the team will face under the new editor could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could benefit from a more pronounced emotional arc. The farewell speech is humorous, but it could also evoke a sense of loss or nostalgia that resonates with the audience, especially considering the serious themes that will follow.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating a moment of reflection or a more somber tone during the farewell speech to foreshadow the serious investigations ahead. This could create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Add a brief interaction or mention of Marty Baron to establish his character and the changes he will bring to the newsroom. This could create intrigue and set up future conflicts.
  • Introduce a subplot or hint at the challenges the team will face under the new editor, perhaps through a comment from Robby or another character that suggests uncertainty about the future of the Spotlight team.
  • Ensure that the transition from the farewell to the discussion about the police department numbers is smoother. This could be achieved by having a character express concern about the implications of the new editor's arrival on their current stories.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger hook that ties back to the main narrative, perhaps by having a character express a concern about the church or hint at the investigations to come, thereby linking the light-hearted farewell to the serious themes of the film.



Scene 3 -  A Conversation on the Future of Journalism
10 INT. FOUR SEASONS HOTEL, RESTAURANT - LATER 10

Marty sits at a table reading “The Curse of the Bambino,” a
NOTEPAD beside him.

ROBBY
Mr. Baron.

Marty looks up and rises to greet Robby.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Walter Robinson. Robby.

MARTY
Thanks for taking time out of your
weekend, Robby.

ROBBY
My pleasure.
(they sit)
What are you reading?

Marty holds up a book.

MARTY
‘The Curse of the Bambino.’

ROBBY
(sitting)
That’s a great book. The Globe has
season tickets at Fenway, once you
settle in.
11/26/14 8.


MARTY
Thank you. Uh, to be honest, I’m
not much of a baseball fan. I’m
just trying to get a feel for city.
Are you originally from Boston?

ROBBY
I am, born and raised. A lot of the
newsroom is from here. It really
feels like a local paper in that
way.

MARTY
And did that change at all after the
paper was sold to the Times?

ROBBY
No. I don’t think that had a big
impact.

MARTY
Good.
(then)
So, you’re an editor for, uh, the
Spotlight team?

ROBBY
I prefer to think of myself as more
of a player-coach. But yes. Are
you familiar with Spotlight?

MARTY
No. Not particularly.

ROBBY
Well, we’re a four person
investigative team. We report to
Ben Bradlee Jr. and we keep our work
confidential.

MARTY
What are you working on now?

ROBBY
We just put out a piece on this
shoddy construction outfit and right
now we’re trolling around for our
next story.

MARTY
How long does that typically take?

ROBBY
Hard to say. A couple of months.
11/26/14 9.


MARTY
A couple of months.

ROBBY
Yeah, we don’t like to rush it.
Once we settle on a project, we can
spend a year or more investigating
it.

Marty jots down some notes. Robby sees he’s writing a lot.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Is that a concern?

MARTY
Not necessarily. Uh, but from what
I understand readership is down, the
Internet is cutting into the
Classified business and, uh, I
think, uh, I’m going to have to take
a hard look at things.

ROBBY
So you anticipate more cuts?

MARTY
I would assume so, yes, but what I’m
more focused on right now is finding
a way to make this paper essential
to its readers.

ROBBY
I’d like to think it already is.

MARTY
Fair enough. I just think we can do
better.

Off Robby --
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the upscale setting of the Four Seasons Hotel restaurant, Marty engages in a tense conversation with Robby, an editor from the Spotlight team. As Marty reads 'The Curse of the Bambino,' he expresses concerns about the declining readership of the newspaper and the challenges it faces. Robby shares insights about the Spotlight team's commitment to investigative journalism, highlighting their pride in their work. The dialogue reveals Marty's intent to improve the paper's standing, but the scene ends without a resolution, leaving the future of the newspaper uncertain.
Strengths
  • Effective character introduction
  • Insightful dialogue
  • Setting up future conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Lack of immediate high stakes
  • Limited character development within the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets up Marty's character as a new player in the newspaper industry and introduces potential conflicts and changes within the organization. The dialogue is informative and reflective, providing insight into the characters' motivations and concerns.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of the scene revolves around introducing Marty as a new player in the newspaper industry and setting up potential conflicts related to the paper's future direction. The scene effectively conveys Marty's concerns and motivations, laying the groundwork for future storylines.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on Marty's initial meeting with Robby and their discussion about the newspaper's operations and potential changes. While the scene primarily serves as an introduction to Marty's character and his concerns, it sets the stage for future developments within the organization.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the challenges faced by newspapers in the digital age and the importance of investigative journalism. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Marty and Robby are well-developed in the scene, with Marty portrayed as a newcomer with a desire to make changes, and Robby as a seasoned editor with a commitment to investigative journalism. Their interactions reveal their contrasting perspectives and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes within the scene, Marty's introduction sets the stage for potential growth and development as he navigates the challenges of the newspaper industry. The scene hints at future character arcs and transformations.

Internal Goal: 8

Marty's internal goal is to understand the dynamics of the local paper and how he can make it essential to its readers. This reflects his desire to succeed in his new role and make a positive impact.

External Goal: 7

Marty's external goal is to navigate the challenges of declining readership and potential budget cuts at the paper. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing in his new position.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a subtle conflict between Marty's desire to make changes and Robby's commitment to investigative journalism, the scene primarily focuses on establishing character dynamics and setting up future conflicts. The conflict is more internal and thematic than overtly dramatic.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and goals between Marty and Robby creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are moderate, as Marty's desire to make the newspaper essential to its readers hints at potential changes and challenges within the organization. While the stakes are not immediately high, they set the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing Marty as a new player in the newspaper industry and setting up potential conflicts and changes within the organization. Marty's concerns and motivations hint at future plot developments and challenges.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between Marty and Robby, as well as the uncertainty surrounding the future of the newspaper.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between maintaining the integrity and quality of investigative journalism while also adapting to the changing landscape of the industry. This challenges Marty's beliefs in the importance of journalism and the role of newspapers in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as it introduces Marty as a new character with ambitions and concerns. The interactions between Marty and Robby hint at future challenges and changes within the newspaper organization, creating a sense of anticipation and intrigue.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is informative and reflective, providing insight into the characters' backgrounds, motivations, and concerns. The exchanges between Marty and Robby are engaging and reveal their contrasting viewpoints on the newspaper's future.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue between the characters, the subtle tension underlying their interactions, and the audience's curiosity about Marty's plans for the paper.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character motivations, with a natural flow of dialogue and pauses for reflection.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dialogue-driven scene in a drama, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the dynamic between Marty and Robby, showcasing their professional relationship and the challenges facing the Boston Globe. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository and lacks natural flow. The characters are primarily delivering information rather than engaging in a conversation that feels organic.
  • Marty's character is introduced as someone who is analytical and concerned about the paper's future, which is a good setup. However, his dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth or personal anecdotes to make him more relatable and engaging. Right now, he comes off as somewhat detached.
  • Robby's character is portrayed as knowledgeable and experienced, but his responses could be more varied to avoid sounding like a scripted dialogue. Adding some personal touches or humor could enhance his character and make the conversation feel more lively.
  • The setting of the Four Seasons Hotel restaurant is a great choice, as it contrasts with the serious nature of their discussion. However, the scene could benefit from more visual details that evoke the atmosphere of the restaurant, such as the sounds of clinking glasses or the ambiance of other diners, to create a richer sensory experience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit slow, primarily due to the heavy exposition. While it's important to convey the context of the newspaper's challenges, the scene could be tightened by reducing some of the repetitive elements in the dialogue and focusing on key points that drive the narrative forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating more subtext into the dialogue. For example, instead of having Marty directly state his concerns about readership, he could express them through a personal story or anecdote that illustrates his passion for journalism.
  • Add more visual and auditory details to the setting to immerse the audience in the restaurant's atmosphere. Describing the decor, the sounds of the kitchen, or the interactions of other patrons can help create a more vivid scene.
  • Introduce a conflict or tension in the conversation that goes beyond the surface-level discussion about the newspaper's challenges. This could be a disagreement about the direction of the paper or differing opinions on how to engage with the community.
  • Make Robby's character more dynamic by allowing him to share a personal experience related to the newspaper's challenges or the importance of investigative journalism. This could help to humanize him and create a stronger connection with Marty.
  • Consider tightening the dialogue by removing redundant phrases and focusing on impactful lines that reveal character motivations and advance the plot. This will help maintain a brisk pace and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 4 -  New Beginnings in the Newsroom
12A EXT. BOSTON GLOBE - DAY 12A

The front of the Globe. Marty gets out of a cab, shuts the
door. He walks inside.

13 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - DAY 13

Ben strides across the newsroom. Robby falls in.

ROBBY
Mr. Bradlee.
11/26/14 10.


BEN
Hey. Saw the email on the PD
numbers. Looks interesting.

ROBBY
Yeah. There’s something there.

BEN
How much longer you need?

ROBBY
Another week.

BEN
(realizing)
Where are you going?

ROBBY
To the 10:30.

BEN
You? Since when?

ROBBY
Technically, I am an editor.

BEN
Technically. Your sit-down with
Baron go that well?

ROBBY
I couldn’t get a read on him.

BEN
That’s a first.

ROBBY
How ‘bout you?

BEN
(shrugs)
He’s a barrel of laughs.

14 INT. GLOBE, LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER 14

Editors around a horseshoe table, side seats filled. It’s
QUIET, nervous eyes on Marty, who reads some notes. Ben and
editor HELEN DONOVAN, 50s, to either side. Robby sits off to
the side, WATCHING.

HELEN DONOVAN
Morning everyone. Let’s get started.
Do you want to say something, Marty?
11/26/14 11.


MARTY
Uh, sure.
(to the group)
Hello. As most of you know by now,
my name is Marty Baron, I’m
delighted to be here. If you can
tell me your name as we go around,
that would be helpful.

Marty looks back to his notes.

HELEN DONONVAN
Okay. Peter?

Ben nods to METRO EDITOR PETER CANELLOS, 40s.

CANELLOS
Peter Canellos, Metro. We’ve got a
major Big Dig closure that’s just
been scheduled for early August...

Marty makes notes. Off Ben and Robby, trading a look.

15 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - LATER 15

Mike, cuppa coffee, walks over to STEVE KURKJIAN’s desk. 60s.

MIKE
Hey Steve. Crappy game last night.

KURKJIAN
They can’t hit worth a nickle.

Mike looks toward the conference room of editors.

MIKE
What’s Eileen McNamara doing in the
10:30?

KURKJIAN
Do you need something, Mike?

MIKE
No. Just curious.

KURKJIAN
I got work to do. Go be curious
somewhere else, will you?
Genres: ["Drama","Journalism"]

Summary Marty Baron arrives at the Boston Globe, introducing himself to the editors in a conference room where they discuss various news topics. Tension arises as Marty seeks to establish his authority among the seasoned staff, while Robby observes with uncertainty. The scene captures the bustling atmosphere of the newsroom, highlighting the dynamics between the characters, including casual exchanges about a recent game. The meeting ends with lingering curiosity and nervous energy.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of a new character
  • Establishment of newsroom setting and dynamics
  • Professional dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively introduces a new character, sets the tone for the newsroom environment, and hints at potential conflicts and developments within the team. However, it lacks significant emotional impact and high stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing a new character in a newsroom setting and setting the stage for future interactions is well-executed. The scene effectively establishes the core elements of the story and the dynamics within the team.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene focuses on introducing Marty Baron and hinting at potential storylines within the newsroom. While it moves the story forward by introducing a new character, it lacks significant development or conflict.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of leadership in a newsroom setting, with authentic character interactions and a focus on journalistic integrity.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

The characters in the scene are well-defined, with distinct personalities and roles within the newsroom. Marty Baron is introduced as a new, enigmatic figure, while other characters like Ben and Robby provide context and depth to the team dynamics.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints at potential character changes, especially with the introduction of Marty Baron and the shifting dynamics within the newsroom.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the dynamics of the newsroom and establish his authority as the new editor. This reflects his desire for respect and acceptance in his new role.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to lead a successful meeting with the editors and set a positive tone for his leadership. This reflects the immediate challenge of gaining the trust and cooperation of his team.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on introducing characters and setting the tone for future developments.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external challenges that create tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character introductions and team dynamics.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new character and setting up potential plotlines within the newsroom environment.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between traditional journalistic values and the pressure to produce sensational stories. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in integrity and accuracy in reporting.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The emotional impact of the scene is limited, as it primarily focuses on professional interactions and introductions.

Dialogue: 7.8

The dialogue in the scene is professional and informative, reflecting the setting of a newsroom meeting. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, subtle power dynamics, and high-stakes setting.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the newsroom environment, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay set in a newsroom, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy sequence in a newsroom setting, with clear character introductions and interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the dynamics between Marty Baron and the existing staff at the Boston Globe, showcasing the tension and uncertainty that often accompanies a new leadership. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository and lacks a natural flow. The characters' interactions could benefit from more subtext, allowing their personalities and relationships to emerge more organically.
  • Marty's introduction is a pivotal moment, yet it feels rushed. The scene could delve deeper into his character by showing his reactions to the newsroom environment and the personalities around him. This would help the audience connect with him on a more personal level.
  • The transition between the newsroom and the conference room is abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the pacing and maintain the audience's engagement. Consider adding a brief moment that captures the atmosphere of the newsroom before shifting to the conference room.
  • The dialogue between Ben and Robby is functional but lacks emotional stakes. While it establishes the context of the story, it could be enriched with more personal stakes or humor to lighten the mood and make the characters more relatable.
  • The scene introduces several characters, but they remain somewhat one-dimensional. Providing small character details or quirks could help differentiate them and make the audience more invested in their roles within the story.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more character-driven moments that reveal the personalities and motivations of Marty, Ben, and Robby. For example, include a brief anecdote or personal insight that adds depth to their interactions.
  • Consider adding a moment of tension or conflict in the conference room that reflects the challenges the Globe faces, perhaps through a disagreement about the direction of a story or differing opinions on Marty's leadership style.
  • Enhance the transition between scenes by including a visual or auditory cue that signifies the shift from the bustling newsroom to the more formal conference room setting, such as the sound of ringing phones fading out as the camera focuses on Marty.
  • Infuse the dialogue with more subtext and emotional weight. For instance, when discussing the PD numbers, characters could express their fears or hopes for the future of the paper, making the stakes feel more immediate.
  • Introduce a minor conflict or humorous moment during the introductions in the conference room to break the tension and provide a more engaging atmosphere, allowing the audience to connect with the characters on a human level.



Scene 5 -  From Banter to Burden: The Church's Shadow
16 INT. GLOBE, LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER 16

The meeting is wrapping up.
11/26/14 12.


SPORTS EDITOR
...and it looks like Pedro’s gonna
be out until September 1st. Jimmy
says he’ll be back this year, but
the doc didn’t seem so sure.

BEN
When’s the Pats opener?

Laughter. Except Marty.

MARTY
Is that everyone?

HELEN
Yes, that’s it.

MARTY
Great, thank you. Uh, did everyone
read Eileen McNamara’s column this
weekend?

The room reacts. Huh? Editors look at EILEEN MCNAMARA, 50s.

HELEN
That’s the Geoghan case?

MARTY
Yes, what’s the folo on that?

BEN
It’s a column, what kind of folo
were you thinking?

MARTY
Well, apparently this priest
molested kids in six different
parishes over the last thirty years
and the attorney for the victims,
Mr...

EILEEN
Garabedian.

MARTY
Thanks, Eileen. Mr. Garabedian says
Cardinal Law found out about it
fifteen years ago and did nothing.

CANELLOS
I think that attorney’s a bit of a
crank. And the Church dismissed the
claim.
11/26/14 13.


EILEEN
He said, she said.

MARTY
Whether Mr. Garabedian is a crank or
not, he says he has documents that
prove the Cardinal knew.

BEN
As I understand it, those documents
are under seal.

Silence. No one knows what to do. Robby watches.

MARTY
Okay, but the fact remains, we have
a Boston priest abused 80 kids,
we’ve got a lawyer who says he has
proof Law knew about it, and we’ve
written all of...
(checking his notes)
...two stories on this in the last
six months?
(then)
This strikes me as an essential
story for a local paper. At the
very least, we should be going after
those documents.

CANELLOS
How would you like to do that?

MARTY
Well, I don’t know what the laws are
here, but in Florida we would go to
court.

Robby raises an eyebrow. In fact, the whole room does.

BEN
You want to sue the church?

MARTY
Technically we wouldn’t sue the
Church. We would file a motion to
lift the seal on those documents.

BEN
The church will read that as us
suing them. So will everybody else.

MARTY
Good to know.
11/26/14 14.


Off Robby, intrigued --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a large conference room at the Globe newspaper office, a light-hearted meeting among staff takes a serious turn when Marty raises concerns about Eileen McNamara's column on a priest's alleged abuse of children. He advocates for investigating the church's inaction and suggests pursuing legal documents to uncover the Cardinal's knowledge of the situation. This prompts a debate among colleagues, with some expressing skepticism about the attorney's credibility and the risks of suing the church. The scene concludes with Robby intrigued by Marty's bold proposal.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Clear establishment of conflict
  • Relevant and compelling theme
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of significant character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a compelling conflict and raises important ethical questions. The dialogue is engaging and thought-provoking, driving the plot forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth in the face of powerful institutions is compelling and relevant. The scene effectively introduces this theme and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, introducing a key investigative thread that will likely drive the narrative forward. The conflict and stakes are clearly established.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the internal conflicts and ethical considerations of pursuing a controversial story. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear. The scene sets up potential character arcs and conflicts that will unfold as the story progresses.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential growth and transformation as the characters navigate the challenges ahead.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to push for investigative journalism and uncover the truth behind the priest abuse scandal. This reflects his desire for justice and integrity in reporting.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince his colleagues to pursue the story and lift the seal on the documents related to the priest abuse case. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing resistance from the church and potential legal implications.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between journalistic integrity and potential repercussions from powerful institutions is palpable. The scene sets up a high-stakes situation that will test the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist faces resistance from his colleagues and potential legal consequences in pursuing the controversial story. The audience is left uncertain of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters grapple with the decision to pursue a controversial story that could have far-reaching consequences. The scene sets up a tense and risky situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key investigative thread and raising important questions that will drive future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected ethical dilemmas and conflicting viewpoints that arise during the discussion. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will proceed.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the values of investigative journalism and the potential consequences of challenging powerful institutions like the church. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the importance of truth and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and moral dilemma, but the emotional impact is somewhat subdued compared to more personal or intimate moments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and serves to reveal character dynamics and conflicting viewpoints. It drives the scene forward and raises important questions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense discussions, conflicting viewpoints, and ethical dilemmas that drive the narrative forward. The audience is drawn into the characters' debates and decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense as the characters debate the ethical implications of pursuing the story. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy sequence in a screenplay. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven sequence in a drama screenplay. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from a light-hearted atmosphere to a serious discussion about the church's misconduct, showcasing the contrast in tone. However, the shift could be more pronounced to emphasize the gravity of the topic being introduced.
  • Marty's character is established as someone who is serious and focused on the investigation, but the dialogue could benefit from more emotional weight. Adding a personal stake or a sense of urgency to his words could enhance the impact of his suggestions.
  • The dialogue among the characters feels somewhat expository, particularly when discussing the documents and the church's actions. While it's important to convey information, consider weaving in more subtext or conflict to make the conversation feel more dynamic and engaging.
  • The reactions of the other characters to Marty's proposal could be more varied. Currently, they seem to respond with a mix of skepticism and intrigue, but adding a character who is more vehemently opposed or supportive could create a richer dialogue and highlight the stakes involved.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could benefit from more visual cues or actions that reflect the tension in the room. For example, characters could fidget, exchange glances, or show physical reactions to the gravity of the conversation, which would enhance the emotional stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Marty reflects on the implications of the church's actions personally, perhaps by referencing a past experience or a moral dilemma, to deepen his character and the audience's connection to the story.
  • Introduce a character who is more emotionally invested in the church's actions, either positively or negatively, to create a more polarized discussion that can drive the narrative forward.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups on characters' faces during key moments of realization or tension, to enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext, allowing characters to imply their feelings about the church and the investigation rather than stating them outright. This can create a more engaging and layered conversation.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger emotional beat or a cliffhanger that leaves the audience eager to see how the characters will proceed with Marty's bold suggestion.



Scene 6 -  Investigating the Shadows
17 INT. GLOBE, BEN’S OFFICE - LATER 17

Ben and Robby walk into Ben’s office.

ROBBY
Gutsy call for the first day.

BEN
That’s one word for it.

ROBBY
How do you think it’s gonna play
down front?

BEN
I think Gilman’s gonna shit a brick.

Knock. Knock. Mike’s at the door.

MIKE
Hey.

BEN
Door.

Mike shuts the door, looks at Robby.

MIKE
How’d it go?

ROBBY
Baron wants to sue for the sealed
docs in the Geoghan case.

MIKE
He wants to sue the church? That’s
great.

BEN
We covered Geoghan when the story
broke three years ago. Baron was
still in Miami.

ROBBY
(needling Ben)
I think he was at the Times then.

BEN
He wasn’t here.

MIKE
You think the suit has a chance?
11/26/14 15.


ROBBY
Depends on the judge.

BEN
And what parish he belongs to.

Ben’s phone RINGS. Ben picks it up.

BEN (CONT’D)
Bradlee. Yeah. Okay.
(hanging up, to Robby)
Baron wants to talk to us.

ROBBY
Us?

Off Robby, surprised --

18 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 18

Ben and Robby enter. Marty’s on the phone.

MARTY (INTO PHONE)
Okay, thank you. Yes. Okay, thanks.

Marty hangs up as they sit.

MARTY (CONT’D)
I set up a meeting for tomorrow with
outside counsel...

BEN
Jon Albano?

MARTY
Yeah.

BEN
Who’s the Judge on this case?

MARTY
Uh, Constance Sweeney.

BEN
Tough.

MARTY
Why’s that?

BEN
Good Catholic girl.

Marty pushes on.
11/26/14 16.


MARTY
Judging from what I’ve read, it
doesn’t seem like we’ve done a
thorough investigation of the
Geoghan case. Is that right?

BEN
No it’s not. We looked hard at
Geoghan. David Armstrong for Metro
and Michael Paulson for Religion.

Marty isn’t impressed.

MARTY
Okay, but, uh, just so I understand,
beyond our daily coverage, we
haven’t committed any long term
investigative resources to the
question of whether or not Cardinal
Law knew about this?

BEN
No, we haven’t.

MARTY
(to Robby)
And that’s the kind of thing your
team does?

ROBBY
Spotlight? Well, yeah, but we’re
still prospecting the Boston PD
story I told you about.

MARTY
Could you set it aside?

ROBBY
We could.

BEN
Marty, in the past, Spotlight has
had success in large part because
they pick their own projects.

MARTY
Would you consider picking this one?
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense meeting at the Globe, Ben and Robby discuss the implications of a lawsuit from Baron regarding sealed documents in the Geoghan case. Joined by Mike, they contemplate the potential outcomes while receiving a call from Baron requesting a meeting. Transitioning to Marty's office, they face scrutiny over their investigation's thoroughness. Marty challenges Ben to delve deeper into Cardinal Law's knowledge of the abuse, suggesting the Spotlight team take on this critical project, leaving Ben and Robby to weigh the gravity of the request.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • Introduction of new character with impact
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a new character, establishes a serious and determined tone, and sets up a major investigative plotline. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the potential for conflict and high stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing a new character who challenges the status quo of the investigative team adds depth to the story. It opens up new possibilities for exploration and conflict.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as Marty Baron introduces a new direction for the investigation. It raises the stakes and sets up potential conflicts with the church and other characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on investigative journalism and the ethical dilemmas faced by journalists, with authentic character interactions and realistic dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with Marty Baron standing out as a determined and focused individual. The interactions between the characters reveal their dynamics and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

Marty Baron's introduction marks a significant change in the dynamics of the investigative team. His challenge to pursue a new angle on the story sets the stage for character development and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain the integrity and reputation of their investigative team, Spotlight, while navigating new challenges and pressures.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the Geoghan case and uncover the truth about Cardinal Law's involvement.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict level is moderate in this scene, with the introduction of a new challenge for the investigative team. The potential legal action against the church raises the stakes and sets up future conflicts.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and obstacles that challenge the protagonist's investigative efforts and create suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, with the potential legal action against the church and the challenge of investigating a sensitive topic. The characters' reputations and the truth itself are on the line.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing a new plotline and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up future developments and conflicts that will drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the investigation and the characters' decisions that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between journalistic integrity and the pressure to prioritize certain stories over others for the sake of the newspaper's reputation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with a focus on determination and concern. The seriousness of the topic adds depth to the characters' motivations and actions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot. It sets the tone for future interactions and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the fast-paced dialogue, intriguing plot developments, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue and action that maintains tension and momentum, contributing to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and advances the plot, fitting the genre of a journalistic drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension and stakes surrounding the investigation into the Geoghan case, particularly through the dialogue between Ben, Robby, and Mike. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional weight of the situation. For instance, instead of stating 'Baron wants to sue for the sealed docs in the Geoghan case,' consider incorporating more emotional reactions or personal stakes that reflect the gravity of the situation.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, particularly when transitioning from Ben's office to Marty's office. The dialogue flows quickly, which can make it challenging for the audience to fully absorb the implications of the conversation. Slowing down the pacing slightly, perhaps by adding pauses or reactions, could help emphasize the seriousness of the discussion.
  • While the scene introduces important characters and their roles, it could benefit from more visual descriptions to ground the audience in the setting. For example, describing the cluttered nature of Ben's office or the expressions on the characters' faces during the conversation could enhance the scene's emotional impact.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks a distinct voice for each character. While Ben, Robby, and Mike have different roles, their speech patterns are somewhat similar. Adding unique phrases or mannerisms for each character could help differentiate them and make the dialogue feel more authentic.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat abrupt note with Marty's request for the Spotlight team to consider the investigation. This could be strengthened by including a moment of reflection or hesitation from Robby and Ben, showcasing their internal conflict about taking on such a sensitive and potentially dangerous story.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to convey the emotional stakes of the investigation. For example, characters could express their fears or doubts about the repercussions of suing the church.
  • Slow down the pacing by adding pauses or reactions to key lines, allowing the audience to absorb the weight of the conversation.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting and characters' expressions to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Differentiate the characters' voices by giving each one unique phrases or speech patterns that reflect their personalities and backgrounds.
  • Add a moment of reflection or hesitation at the end of the scene to emphasize the gravity of Marty's request and the potential consequences of their decision.



Scene 7 -  Prioritizing the Geoghan Case
19 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - LATER 19

Mike, Sacha, Matt all working. Sacha on the phone.
11/26/14 17.


SACHA (INTO PHONE)
I don’t know if he’s writing about
you but I will let him know you
called. Okay. Bye.

Sacha hangs up as Robby enters.

MIKE
Hey, how’d it go?

ROBBY
Okay. Baron wants us to scrub the
Geoghan case.

MIKE
That’s great. MATTY
Didn’t we cover Geoghan?

ROBBY (CONT’D)
There’s a lawyer alleging Cardinal
Law knew about it.

SACHA
Mitch Garabedian, right? I covered
him at the courthouse.

ROBBY
Can you get to him?

SACHA
I only interviewed him once. He’s
kind of a character.

MIKE
I like characters. I’ll take him.

ROBBY
He’s yours. Also, we should talk to
the lawyer who repped the victims in
the Porter case. Eric MacLeish.

MATT
That guy was always on TV.

SACHA
The Porter case? Remind me?

MIKE
Father Porter, similar story,
molested dozens of kids in Fall
River about ten years ago.

MATT
So we’re dropping the Boston PD?
11/26/14 18.


MIKE
I vote yes.

ROBBY
No, we’re just setting it aside for
now. I don’t need to tell you guys,
we need to be more discreet than
usual. Everybody’s gonna be
interested in this, not just the
Herald. I don’t want the Chancery
getting wind of this before we know
what we have.

MATT
Good luck with that.

They reach for phones and computers, Robby leaves them to it.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In the Spotlight office, Mike, Sacha, and Matt receive urgent news from Robby about the need to scrub the Geoghan case due to allegations against Cardinal Law. Sacha shares her prior experience with lawyer Mitch Garabedian, prompting Mike to volunteer for the interview. The team decides to focus on the Geoghan case and set aside the Boston PD investigation, with Robby emphasizing the importance of discretion given the sensitive nature of the story. The scene captures the tense atmosphere of investigative journalism as the team prepares to delve deeper into the case.
Strengths
  • Clear and engaging dialogue
  • Smooth plot progression
  • Establishment of investigative team dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Subtle conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a new investigative angle while maintaining a serious and professional tone. It introduces key characters and their roles in the investigation, creating intrigue and anticipation for the unfolding story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of shifting focus to a new investigative angle while setting aside a previous case adds depth to the storyline. The scene effectively conveys the importance of discretion and thoroughness in investigative journalism.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses smoothly as the investigative team decides to pursue a new lead, setting aside a previous case. The introduction of key elements such as the lawyer alleging Cardinal Law's knowledge of abuse adds complexity and intrigue to the storyline.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the investigative journalism genre, focusing on the ethical challenges and personal dynamics of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined, with each member of the investigative team showcasing their roles and expertise. The scene sets up potential character development as they delve into a new investigation.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the groundwork is laid for potential development as the investigative team delves into a new and challenging investigation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the Geoghan and Porter cases, while also maintaining discretion and professionalism in their reporting.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the allegations against Cardinal Law and the Boston PD, while also navigating the challenges of potential interference from other parties.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more subtle, revolving around the investigative team's decision to pursue a new lead while setting aside a previous case. The tension lies in the need for discretion and thoroughness in their investigation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external challenges that test their resolve and ethics. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their investigations.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as the investigative team decides to pursue allegations against a cardinal, potentially uncovering a scandal with far-reaching implications. The need for discretion and thoroughness adds to the intensity of the situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new investigative angle and setting aside a previous case. It establishes key plot elements and character dynamics that will drive future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting allegiances and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters. The audience is kept on their toes as they navigate the complexities of the investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the balance between journalistic integrity and the need for discretion in sensitive investigations. The characters must weigh the importance of uncovering the truth against the potential consequences of their reporting.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate in this scene, focusing more on the professional and investigative aspects rather than emotional depth. However, the seriousness of the subject matter adds weight to the storyline.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and informative, driving the plot forward and establishing the investigative team's approach to the new story. It effectively conveys the seriousness of the subject matter and the team's dedication to uncovering the truth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The audience is drawn into the investigative process and the personal dynamics of the team.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The quick exchanges and shifting dynamics keep the narrative moving forward at a brisk pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and a well-defined conflict driving the action.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the urgency and gravity of the investigation into the Geoghan case, highlighting the stakes involved with the mention of Cardinal Law's alleged knowledge. However, the dialogue could benefit from more tension and emotional weight, as the characters are discussing serious allegations that have significant implications for victims and the church.
  • The character dynamics are clear, but the scene lacks a strong emotional arc. While the characters are engaged in a professional discussion, there is an opportunity to deepen their personal stakes in the story. Adding moments of reflection or personal anecdotes could enhance the emotional resonance.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed. The dialogue moves quickly from one point to another without allowing for pauses that could build suspense or allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation. Consider incorporating more beats or reactions from the characters to emphasize their concerns and the weight of their task.
  • The use of jargon and specific references (like 'scrub the Geoghan case') may alienate viewers who are not familiar with the context. While it is important to maintain authenticity, consider balancing technical language with more accessible explanations to ensure clarity for all audience members.
  • The scene ends somewhat abruptly after Robby's warning about discretion. While it sets up the next steps, it could benefit from a stronger closing line or moment that encapsulates the team's resolve or apprehension about the investigation ahead.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate a moment of silence or a shared look among the characters after Robby delivers the news about Cardinal Law. This could emphasize the weight of the situation and allow the audience to feel the gravity of their task.
  • Add a line or two where one of the characters expresses personal stakes in the investigation, perhaps referencing a past experience or a victim they met. This would help to humanize the story and create a stronger emotional connection.
  • Consider slowing down the dialogue in certain areas to allow for more dramatic pauses. This can help build tension and give the audience time to process the implications of what is being discussed.
  • Introduce a brief flashback or a visual cue that highlights the impact of the abuse on victims, perhaps through a quick cutaway or a character's memory. This would ground the investigation in the real-world consequences of the church's actions.
  • End the scene with a more definitive statement or action that sets the tone for the investigation, such as a character making a determined vow to uncover the truth or a visual of them preparing to dive into the research, reinforcing their commitment to the story.



Scene 8 -  Dinner Conversations and Legal Challenges
20 EXT. SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE, SOUTHIE - NIGHT 20

The quiet street dips down, disappearing into the harbour.
Sacha and Hansi get out of their car, cross the street.

21 INT. SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT 21

A cozy dining room. Sacha, her GRANDMOTHER and her husband
HANSI finish dinner. Sacha’s grandmother wears a gold cross.

SACHA
When are you leaving, Nana?

NANA
The bus is picking us up in the
church parking lot at nine o’clock.
We have forty people going.

SACHA
Is Father Dominic going?

NANA
No. He said, he’s very unlucky. But
luck has nothing to do with it.

Hansi can’t help but smile.

SACHA
Nana won a hundred and sixty dollars
last time.

HANSI
Wow.
11/26/14 19.


22 INT. SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT 22

Hansi and Sacha wash dishes. They talk quietly.

HANSI
You gonna tell her?

SACHA
We don’t even know if there’s a
story yet.

HANSI
“Globe sues church?” There’s gonna
be a story.

Sacha continues rinsing, glances at the small, porcelain
Virgin Mary on the window sill above the sink.

23 INT. GLOBE, LARGE PUBLISHER’S FOYER - DAY 23

Marty ascends a large, open air staircase in the upscale
business side of the building. He steps off, heads down the
hall then stops, looks around. Lost in his own building.

A YOUNG EMPLOYEE walks past.

MARTY
Excuse me, do you know where the
Publisher’s office is?

The employee points. Marty heads that direction.

24 INT. GLOBE, PUBLISHER’S OFFICE - DAY 24

RICHARD GILMAN, 50s, Brooks Brothers suit, finishes a call.
Marty is sitting on a couch in large, plush office opposite.

GILMAN (INTO PHONE)
Thanks, Tom. Will do.
(hangs up, to Marty)
How are you, Marty? Settling in?

MARTY
Yes, I think so.

GILMAN
Good. What can I do for you?

MARTY
I’d like to challenge the protective
order in the Geoghan case.

GILMAN
You want to sue the Catholic Church?
11/26/14 20.


MARTY
We’re just filing a motion. But yes.

GILMAN
You think it’s that important?

MARTY
Yes. I do.

GILMAN
Because, obviously, the Church will
fight us very hard on this. Which
won’t go unnoticed by our subscriber
base. 53% of them are Catholic.

MARTY
Uh, I think they’ll be interested.

Gilman considers for a long moment, looks unsettled.

GILMAN
Okay.

Marty nods, gets up to go.

GILMAN (CONT’D)
Marty? Lake Street will probably
contact you about a face to face
with the Cardinal. It’s customary.

MARTY
They already have. It’s set up for
next week.

GILMAN
I wouldn’t mention this.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary Sacha and Hansi visit Sacha's grandmother in South Boston, sharing a warm dinner where they discuss her upcoming church trip. Hansi encourages Sacha to share a potential story about the church, but Sacha hesitates. The scene shifts to Marty at the Globe, where he seeks Richard Gilman's support to challenge a protective order in the Geoghan case, aiming to sue the Catholic Church. Despite Gilman's concerns about backlash from the church community, he ultimately agrees to back Marty's initiative.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a high-stakes conflict and introduces a pivotal decision that will drive the plot forward. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' motivations clearly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of challenging a powerful institution like the Catholic Church through investigative journalism is compelling and thought-provoking. It raises important ethical questions and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as Marty makes a bold decision that will have far-reaching consequences. It sets the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of journalistic integrity and the challenges of uncovering the truth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined, with Marty's determination and Gilman's skepticism creating a dynamic tension. Their interactions reveal their conflicting perspectives and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

Marty undergoes a significant change in this scene, from a newcomer to a bold advocate for investigative journalism. His decision marks a turning point in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Sacha's internal goal in this scene is to gather information about a potential story involving the church and the Globe. This reflects her desire to uncover important news stories and make a difference through her work as a journalist.

External Goal: 9

Marty's external goal is to challenge the protective order in the Geoghan case, which involves suing the Catholic Church. This reflects his immediate challenge of standing up for justice and holding powerful institutions accountable.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as Marty challenges the Catholic Church and faces resistance from within his own organization. The stakes are significant, adding tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Marty facing resistance from Gilman and potential backlash from the Catholic Church. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of Marty's decision to challenge the protective order.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as Marty's decision to challenge the Catholic Church could have profound consequences for both the newspaper and the community. The risk is significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major conflict and decision that will shape future events. It sets up new challenges and developments for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events involving Marty's decision to challenge the protective order and the potential consequences of his actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between seeking the truth and facing opposition from powerful institutions. Marty's belief in the importance of challenging the church's protective order clashes with Gilman's concerns about subscriber base and potential backlash.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of concern and determination, as Marty's decision resonates emotionally with the audience. The ethical dilemma adds depth to the characters' motivations.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and intentions effectively. It drives the scene forward and builds tension.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of its focus on character dynamics, subtle conflicts, and the unfolding of a potential news story that adds intrigue and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and character interactions in a way that maintains tension and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-paced dialogue that advances the plot and character development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the personal and professional lives of the characters, showcasing Sacha's familial ties and the weight of the investigation looming over her. This juxtaposition adds depth to Sacha's character, making her more relatable and human.
  • The dialogue between Sacha and her grandmother is warm and engaging, providing a glimpse into their relationship. However, the transition from this intimate family moment to the serious topic of the church investigation feels abrupt. The scene could benefit from a smoother transition that connects Sacha's personal life to her professional challenges.
  • Hansi's character is introduced but lacks depth in this scene. While he provides a supportive role, his motivations and feelings about the church investigation are not explored. Adding a line or two that reveals his perspective could enhance his character and the dynamics between the three characters.
  • Marty's scene with Gilman is crucial for establishing the stakes of the investigation, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the previous scene. The pacing shifts dramatically from a cozy family dinner to a tense legal discussion. A brief interlude or a visual cue could help bridge this gap and maintain narrative flow.
  • The dialogue in Gilman's office is functional but lacks emotional weight. While it conveys the necessary information, it could be enriched with subtext or tension to reflect the gravity of the situation. For instance, Gilman's hesitance could be more pronounced, showcasing his internal conflict about the church's influence.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Sacha reflects on her grandmother's faith and how it contrasts with the investigation, creating a thematic link between her personal and professional life.
  • Introduce Hansi's character more fully by including a line that hints at his thoughts on the church or the investigation, which could add complexity to the family dynamic.
  • Incorporate a visual or auditory cue that signifies the transition from the intimate family dinner to the serious discussion about the church, such as a clock ticking or a distant church bell, to enhance the narrative flow.
  • Enhance the tension in Gilman's office by having him express more concern about the potential backlash from the church, perhaps referencing past experiences or the stakes involved, to create a more compelling conflict.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger emotional beat, perhaps by showing Sacha's internal struggle as she prepares to dive deeper into the investigation, linking her personal life with her professional responsibilities.



Scene 9 -  Uncovering the Truth
24A INT. GLOBE - DAY 24A

Matt walks down a row of cubicles, disappears down a spiral
staircase.

24B INT. BOSTON GLOBE LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS 24B

Matt descends the staircase and arrives at the front desk.

MATT
Hey Lisa. Could you pull all the
relevant clips on that for me?

He hands her a sheet of paper. She looks at it. Reacts.

LISA
Yeah. This is for Spotlight?
11/26/14 21.


MATT
Just drop them off when they’re
ready, thanks.

Matt walks off.

25 INT. MITCHELL GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE - DAY 25

Mike steps off an elevator and into a DUMP of an office. He
eyes a small reception desk covered with FILE BOXES.

MIKE
Hello. Hello?

Mike peeks through an open door... a small office, crammed
FLOOR TO CEILING with BOXES, each with GEOGHAN written on it.

PARALEGAL
Can I help you?

Mike turns. A PARALEGAL pokes her head out of a cubicle.

MIKE
Oh. Hi. I’m Mike Rezendes from the
Boston Globe. I’m here to see
Mitchell Garabedian.

PARALEGAL
He’s on a call. Please have a seat.

Mike grabs a seat, checks his watch. He hears YELLING coming
from behind a closed door. Garabedian?

26 INT. ONE INTERNATIONAL PLACE, LOBBY - DAY 26

Robby and Sacha stride across an enormous, marble and stone
lobby, a STARK CONTRAST to Garabedian’s digs.

27 OMITTED 27

28 INT. GREENBERG TRAURIG, CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 28

ERIC MACLEISH, 40s, good looks, quick with a story and a
smile, walks into the posh room, finds Sacha and Robby.

ERIC MACLEISH
The famous Walter Robinson in my
conference room.

MacLeish and Robby shake hands.
11/26/14 22.


ROBBY
Good to see you again, Eric. Sacha
Pfeiffer, Eric MacLeish.

ERIC MACLEISH
Nice to meet you. Do you play golf?

SACHA
(caught off guard)
Uh, no.

ERIC MACLEISH
Good. Your colleague took some money
off me at a charity event last year.

ROBBY
Lucky putt. I actually had my eyes
closed.

MacLeish smiles. Chummy.

ERIC MACLEISH
So, how can I help you?

ROBBY
You’re familiar with the Geoghan
case?

ERIC MACLEISH
Sure. Eighty plaintiffs. All
individual cases, Garabedian must be
swimming.

ROBBY
And the allegations against Cardinal
Law?

MacLeish considers the question.

ERIC MACLEISH
Look, it’s tricky. You need to
understand these are shitty cases.
The statute of limitations is only 3
years and most of these victims
don’t come forward until long after
that.

SACHA
Why is that?
11/26/14 23.


ERIC MACLEISH
They’re kids. Shame. Guilt. And
they come from tough neighborhoods,
nobody wants to admit this kind of
thing. So you’re screwed on the
time limit and even if you argue
your way around that, the charitable
immunity statute caps damages at
twenty grand.

SACHA
Twenty grand for molesting a child?

ERIC MACLEISH
That’s the way the system works.
The Church is tough. So your best
shot is to try these cases in the
press like I did on Porter. But
most victims want nothing to do with
being on TV. And Mitch isn’t
exactly a people person.

ROBBY
So if Garabedian can’t get these
victims to talk to the press...

ERIC MACLEISH
Then he has a long road ahead of
him. My guess? He doesn’t have
anything on Law.

SACHA
You think he’s bluffing?

ERIC MACLEISH
I think he’s grandstanding to cut a
better deal.

ROBBY
Seems a bit reckless.

ERIC MACLEISH
Have you met Mitch Garabedian?
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense sequence of events, Matt requests Lisa to gather clips for the Spotlight investigation at the Boston Globe, highlighting the urgency of their work. Meanwhile, Mike waits in Mitchell Garabedian's chaotic office, hearing the commotion of a phone call, which sets a serious tone for the challenges ahead. The scene shifts to a polished conference room where Robby and Sacha meet with Eric MacLeish, who articulates the complexities of the Geoghan case and the societal and legal barriers that prevent victims from coming forward. The emotional weight of the discussion underscores the unresolved conflicts surrounding abuse and the legal system's shortcomings.
Strengths
  • Detailed exposition of legal complexities
  • Effective establishment of key conflicts and obstacles
  • Realistic dialogue that conveys professional tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth in character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the investigative journalism aspect of the story, introducing key characters and establishing the high stakes involved in pursuing the truth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of investigating abuse within the church is compelling and sets the stage for a deep dive into the legal and ethical dilemmas surrounding the issue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing key conflicts and obstacles that the characters must navigate in their pursuit of the truth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces complex legal and ethical issues in a fresh and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the authenticity of the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their interactions reveal their motivations and concerns, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters' perspectives and approaches to the legal cases may shift slightly as they grapple with the challenges ahead, setting the stage for potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to gather information and make progress on the investigation they are working on. This reflects their deeper need for justice and truth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to interview a key figure in their investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in gathering evidence and building their case.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, particularly regarding the legal challenges faced by the characters in pursuing the truth about abuse within the church.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with legal and ethical challenges complicating the protagonist's investigation. The uncertainty about the outcome adds tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes involved in pursuing legal action against the church and exposing abuse add tension and urgency to the scene, highlighting the risks and potential consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, characters, and obstacles that will drive the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new obstacles and challenges for the protagonist, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome of their investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between seeking justice within the legal system and using the media to expose wrongdoing. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the most effective way to achieve their goals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

While the scene is more focused on conveying information and setting up conflicts, there is an underlying sense of concern and urgency that adds emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is informative and realistic, reflecting the professional nature of the characters' work and the complexities of the legal cases they are discussing.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces new information, raises questions, and builds tension through character interactions. The dialogue is sharp and reveals character motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue with action, building tension gradually, and revealing information at a steady pace. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear dialogue tags and scene descriptions. The visual elements are well integrated into the narrative.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character introductions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the chaotic environment of Garabedian's office with the polished setting of the conference room, highlighting the disparity between the two worlds. This visual contrast serves to emphasize the challenges faced by those seeking justice against the Church.
  • The dialogue is informative and reveals critical information about the legal challenges surrounding the Geoghan case. However, it could benefit from more emotional weight. The characters discuss heavy topics like child abuse and legal limitations, but the dialogue feels somewhat clinical. Adding personal anecdotes or emotional reactions could deepen the audience's connection to the characters and the gravity of the situation.
  • While the scene introduces Eric MacLeish as a character, it doesn't fully establish his motivations or background. A brief mention of his past experiences or a hint at his personal stakes in the case could make him a more compelling character and provide context for his opinions.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The transition from Matt's request to Lisa to the meeting with MacLeish could be smoother. Consider using a visual or auditory cue to bridge these moments, enhancing the flow of the narrative.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat ambiguous note regarding Garabedian's capabilities and the potential for the case against Cardinal Law. While ambiguity can be effective, it may leave the audience wanting more clarity about the stakes involved. A stronger closing line or moment could reinforce the urgency of the investigation.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more emotional dialogue or personal stories from the characters to enhance the gravity of the subject matter and create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Provide a brief backstory or context for Eric MacLeish to establish his credibility and motivations, making him a more relatable and engaging character.
  • Consider adding a visual or auditory transition between the scenes to improve pacing and create a smoother narrative flow.
  • Strengthen the ending of the scene by including a definitive statement or moment that underscores the urgency and stakes of the investigation, leaving the audience with a clearer sense of direction.



Scene 10 -  The Reluctant Advocate
29 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE - LATER 29

Mike, still waiting, checks his watch. He hears more YELLING
behind the door. Suddenly the door opens. A SHORT MAN exits.

Mike looks at the paralegal, points: “Is that him?” She
shakes her head, walks off screen. Mike watches her go.
Then, impatient, he stands, walks into --
11/26/14 24.


30 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS 30

A small boardroom. MITCHELL GARABEDIAN, thin, 50s, sits at a
table buried in paperwork. He’s abrasive, to say the least.

MIKE
Hi.

GARABEDIAN
Who are you?

MIKE
Mike Rezendes from the Boston Globe.
I had an appointment with you about
an hour ago.

GARABEDIAN
I can’t talk to you, I’m very busy.
(calling to reception)
Sharon?!

MIKE
Sharon went out for coffee, she said
she’d be right back, I’m following
up on an article...

GARABEDIAN
The one in the Phoenix?

MIKE
No. In the Globe.

GARABEDIAN
Did you see the one in the Phoenix?

MIKE
No, I didn’t.

GARABEDIAN
I thought it was very good. I have a
copy here somewhere.

He starts to dig through the heap of papers.

MIKE
That’s okay. I’ll track it down. I’m
actually following up on a column
that Eileen McNamara wrote for the
Globe about your suit.

GARABEDIAN
Suits. There are eighty-four of
them, it’s not a class action. You
should get your facts straight.
11/26/14 25.


True to word. Garabedian is a bit of crank.

MIKE
You’re right. I should. I’m just
trying to get some background
information on the Geoghan case...

GARABEDIAN
You’re not recording this are you?

MIKE
No, I wouldn’t do that without
asking.

GARABEDIAN
(brusque)
I can’t show you the Church
documents if that’s what you’re
after, they’re under seal.

MIKE
I know that.

GARABEDIAN
Do you know they’ve tried to bring
me before the Massachusetts Board of
Bar Overseers three times? They’re
watching me very closely.

MIKE
The Church?

GARABEDIAN
Yes, the Church. They’d like to get
me disbarred. In fact, put that
away.
(off Mike’s pad)
Put it away! I don’t want you
recording this in any way, shape or
form. Not on paper, not on tape,
nothing. In fact, I probably
shouldn’t even be speaking to you.

MIKE
Look, Mr. Garabedian, I know there
are things you can’t tell me. But I
also know that there’s a story here.
And I think it’s an important story.

GARABEDIAN
I already talked to the Phoenix.
11/26/14 26.


MIKE
Yeah, and there’s a reason I didn’t
see it, nobody reads the Phoenix
anymore. They’re broke, they don’t
have any power. The Globe does.
And if we cover this story,
everybody will hear about it.

GARABEDIAN
The Church thinks in centuries, Mr.
Rezendes. You think your paper has
the resources to take that on?

MIKE
Yeah, I do. But if you don’t mind
me asking, do you?

Mike’s question is non-threatening, but Garabedian reacts.
He stands, walking Mike to the door...

GARABEDIAN
I don’t have the time to talk to
you, Mr. Rezendes, I’m very busy.
(calling out)
Sharon!

But before he can push Mike out the door, Mike turns back --

MIKE
Can I at least talk to some of your
clients? The victims? I’d like to
do that.

GARABEDIAN
Call me tomorrow. I need to think
about it.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary Mike Rezendes arrives at Mitchell Garabedian's office seeking information about the church-related lawsuits, particularly the Geoghan case. Despite his persistence, Garabedian remains evasive and defensive, expressing concerns about the church's influence and his own legal troubles. The conversation is tense, with Mike growing frustrated as Garabedian refuses to fully cooperate, only agreeing to consider Mike's request to speak with victims. The scene ends with uncertainty as Garabedian's reluctance leaves Mike's inquiries unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets up the conflict and tension between the characters, advancing the plot and revealing the challenges in uncovering the truth.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth is effectively portrayed, emphasizing the importance of thorough research and persistence.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Mike seeks information from Garabedian, setting the stage for further developments in the investigation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the ethical dilemmas faced by journalists and sources. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions are believable.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Mike and Garabedian are well-defined, with contrasting personalities and motivations that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

While there is no significant character change in this scene, it sets the stage for potential growth and development in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth and pursue an important story. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get information from Garabedian about the Geoghan case and potentially talk to the victims. This reflects the immediate challenge of gaining access to sensitive information and sources.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Mike and Garabedian adds intensity to the scene, highlighting the challenges faced in pursuing the investigation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Garabedian's reluctance to cooperate and the protagonist's determination to uncover the truth creating a compelling conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of uncovering institutional abuse and holding powerful institutions accountable heighten the tension in the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key information and raising important questions, driving the investigation towards its next phase.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's belief in the power of the press to uncover important stories and Garabedian's skepticism about the impact of media coverage on the Church's actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and urgency, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.2

The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, reflecting the tension between the characters and the high stakes of the investigation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tense interactions between the characters, the high stakes involved, and the moral dilemmas presented.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and maintaining the audience's interest throughout the dialogue-heavy exchanges.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between Mike and Garabedian, showcasing Garabedian's abrasive personality and the challenges Mike faces in getting information. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the conflict. For instance, Garabedian's reluctance to share information could be underscored by hints of his own fears or past experiences with the Church, which would add depth to his character.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit uneven. While the initial exchanges are quick and sharp, the latter part drags slightly as Garabedian's defensiveness becomes repetitive. Streamlining some of the dialogue could maintain the tension and urgency throughout the scene.
  • The visual elements are somewhat lacking in description. Adding more sensory details about the office environment—such as the clutter, the atmosphere, or even Garabedian's physical demeanor—could help ground the audience in the setting and enhance the emotional stakes of the conversation.
  • Mike's character comes across as determined and resourceful, but his motivations could be clearer. A brief internal monologue or a line that reveals why this story matters to him personally could create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • The ending feels abrupt. While it leaves the door open for future conversations, it might benefit from a more definitive moment that underscores the stakes of the investigation, perhaps by having Mike express a sense of urgency or frustration before leaving.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate subtext in Garabedian's dialogue to reveal his fears or past experiences with the Church, which would add complexity to his character.
  • Streamline the dialogue to avoid repetition and maintain a consistent pace, ensuring that the tension remains high throughout the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the office environment to create a more immersive experience for the audience, using sensory details to convey the atmosphere.
  • Add a line or internal thought from Mike that clarifies his personal stakes in the story, helping the audience connect with his character on a deeper level.
  • Consider revising the ending to include a moment that emphasizes the urgency of the investigation, perhaps through Mike's reaction or a poignant line that encapsulates the stakes involved.



Scene 11 -  Uncovering the Past
31 INT. GLOBE, LIBRARY - DAY 31

A Button is pushed, CONTROL PANEL lights up.

A rotating library clip file comes to stop.

A few old newspaper clips are pulled.

A folder from the LARGE PHOTO clip file is pulled.

A Nexis search on a computer screen.

A Micro Fiche search on another screen.

A PRINTER spits out the Micro Fiche article.
11/26/14 27.


The PRINT OUT out is added to a STACK OF ARTICLES and dropped
into a file marked Porter.

32 INT. GLOBE, HALLWAY - LATER 32

CLOSE ON the same file. Moving.

REVEAL the folder is now one of many on a METAL CART that an
intern (WANDA) wheels down the hall.

33 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - LATER 33

A desk covered with old newspaper clips, Matt and Sacha read.
A knock... Wanda in the door. With the metal cart.

WANDA
I got more clips from the library.

MATT
Leave ‘em right there.

Wanda the intern unloads them beside Matt’s desk.

WANDA
You guys doing a story on the
Church?

MATT
No. We are not doing a story on the
Church.

Wanda blanches, leaves. Robby pours some coffee.

SACHA
Matt, you find anything on this guy
Phil Saviano?

MATT
No. Who is he?

SACHA
He’s part of a victims’
organization. Kurkjian ran a story
on him just after the Porter case.

ROBBY
There’s a victims’ organization?

SACHA
Yeah, it’s called SNAP, Survivors
Network of those Abused by Priests.

MATT
Crummy acronym.
11/26/14 28.


SACHA
You want me to track him down?

ROBBY
Yeah. Bring him in. How much longer
do you need to get through the
clips?

SACHA
A few days. There’s a lot and
Lisa’s still sending stuff up. Most
of it is on Porter.

MATT
Hey guys... I think I got another
priest.

Robby and Sacha turn. Matt stares down at a clip.

MATT (CONT’D)
Liam Barrett. Molested some kids in
Philly then was moved to Boston, did
the same thing then was moved again.

SACHA
Really? Sounds like Geoghan.

ROBBY
Is that one of our clips?

MATT
Yeah. Byline’s Diego Ribadeneira,
1997. Must’ve been back when he was
working religion.

ROBBY
Was there any folo?

MATT
Not much. One short piece. Looks
like the Church settled the case.
(then)
Don’t you know Jim Sullivan?

ROBBY
Yeah, why?

MATT
Looks like the Church brought him in
to help out.

Matt shows Robby the clip. Robby reads, surprised.
11/26/14 29.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In the Globe's library, a control panel activates, retrieving old newspaper articles related to a file marked 'Porter.' Intern Wanda brings a cart of clips to the Spotlight office, where Matt and Sacha are investigating a potential story about Phil Saviano and the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP). As they review the clips, Matt uncovers troubling information about a priest, Liam Barrett, who has a history of molestation and was shuffled by the Church, leading to a deeper investigation. Tension arises as Wanda inquires about their story, but Matt dismisses her, keeping the focus on their serious investigation.
Strengths
  • Detailed investigative process
  • Realistic newsroom setting
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, informative, and progresses the plot by introducing new leads and potential story angles. It effectively sets the tone for the investigative work ahead.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of delving into the Church abuse scandal through investigative journalism is compelling and engaging. The scene effectively sets up the groundwork for the team's research and potential story development.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through the introduction of new leads and the exploration of past cases related to the Church abuse scandal. The scene sets up future developments and adds depth to the overall narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the uncovering of abuse cases involving priests. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are portrayed realistically within the newsroom setting, each contributing to the investigative process in their unique ways. Their interactions and dialogue enhance the scene's authenticity.

Character Changes: 7

There are subtle character developments as the team delves deeper into the Church abuse scandal, showcasing their dedication and determination to uncover the truth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover information about potential abuse cases involving priests. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and truth in their investigative journalism work.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather more information on the victims' organization and potential abuse cases to further their investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge of uncovering the truth behind the Porter case and related stories.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is an underlying conflict related to the Church abuse scandal, the scene primarily focuses on the investigative process and information gathering, resulting in a moderate conflict level.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges in uncovering information and dealing with the Church's attempts to cover up abuse cases. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as the team delves into sensitive and potentially dangerous territory with their investigation into the Church abuse scandal.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new leads and potential story angles related to the Church abuse scandal. It sets the stage for future developments within the investigation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the investigation, such as the discovery of new abuse cases and the Church's involvement. The audience is kept on their toes as the characters uncover more information.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between the protagonist's pursuit of justice and truth against the Church's attempts to cover up abuse cases. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the power of investigative journalism and the importance of exposing wrongdoing.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene lacks significant emotional impact, focusing more on the procedural aspects of investigative journalism. However, there is a sense of curiosity and concern among the characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is informative, engaging, and reflective of the characters' roles within the newsroom. It effectively conveys the investigative nature of the scene and sets up future interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it builds suspense and intrigue through the characters' investigative work and the unfolding of new information. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm of investigative research and character interactions. The scene builds tension and suspense through well-timed reveals and discoveries.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions of actions and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of investigative research and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the investigative process of the Spotlight team, showcasing their dedication to uncovering the truth about the Church's abuse cases. However, the pacing feels a bit slow due to the heavy reliance on exposition and procedural elements, which may disengage the audience.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys necessary information, it could benefit from more character-driven interactions that reveal the personal stakes involved in the investigation. For instance, exploring the characters' feelings about the Church or their motivations for pursuing this story could add layers to the scene.
  • Wanda's brief appearance serves as a plot device to introduce the topic of the Church, but her character feels underdeveloped. Giving her a more distinct personality or a stronger reaction to the subject matter could enhance the scene's emotional impact.
  • The transition between the library and the Spotlight office is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition that connects the two locations could help maintain the flow of the narrative and reinforce the continuity of the investigation.
  • The scene introduces Liam Barrett as a new character of interest, but it doesn't provide enough context about his significance or the implications of his actions. A brief mention of the consequences of his behavior or how it ties into the larger narrative would strengthen the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of tension or conflict among the characters as they sift through the clips. This could be a disagreement about the direction of the investigation or differing opinions on how to approach the Church, which would heighten the stakes.
  • Incorporate more character-driven dialogue that reveals the personal motivations of Matt, Sacha, and Robby. For example, they could share anecdotes or express their feelings about the Church's actions, making the investigation feel more personal and urgent.
  • Develop Wanda's character further by giving her a line or two that reflects her perspective on the Church or the investigation. This could provide a fresh viewpoint and add depth to the scene.
  • Enhance the transition between the library and the Spotlight office by including a brief moment that connects the two settings, such as a character reflecting on the significance of the clips they are reviewing.
  • Provide more context about Liam Barrett's past actions and their relevance to the current investigation. This could be done through a quick flashback or a more detailed discussion among the characters about the implications of his behavior.



Scene 12 -  Tensions at Fenway: The Investigation Debate
34 EXT. FENWAY PARK - NIGHT 34

Establishing. From up above, a game in progress.

34A INT. FENWAY PARK - NIGHT 34A

Mike and Matt sit with Ben and Steve Kurkjian at the game. A
called third strike and the crowd groans.

BEN
Jesus. Has anybody but Manny gotten
the ball out of the infield?

Matt, who’s been scoring the game, checks.

MATT
Nope.

MIKE
I don’t know why you bother with
that thing.

MATT
It distracts me from the game.

KURKJIAN
Know what else is good for that?

Kurkjian holds up an empty beer cup. Matt stands.

MATT
Good idea. My round. I’ll be back.
Anybody want food?

MIKE
Hot dog.

Matt heads off. Ben grabs some peanuts, turns to Mike.

BEN
You guys making any progress?

MIKE
Absolutely. It’s a good story.

BEN
Why? Cause you’re another lapsed
Catholic pissed off at the Church?

MIKE
We’ve got some good stuff.

BEN
Like what?
11/26/14 30.


Mike glances over at Kurkjian.

KURKJIAN
I’m just watching the game. Omerta.

MIKE
We got another priest, Liam Barrett.

KURKJIAN
We reported on him.
(off Mike’s look)
We did, I’m just saying.

MIKE
Okay, but the guy was shuffled from
parish to parish every few years,
just like Geoghan and Porter. I
think there’s a pattern.

Ben looks at Kurkjian, who’s not impressed.

BEN
Sounds thin. What else you got?

MIKE
Sacha found this guy from a victims’
organization, Phil Saviano.

KURKJIAN
From SNAP? Oh boy. We reported on
him too.

MIKE
I thought you were watching the
game, Steve?

KURKJIAN
That guy’s pretty banged up, Mike.

BEN
We ran a couple stories on him, the
guy would not stop writing letters.

KURKJIAN
He wants a holy war.

MIKE
So he’s not worth taking to?

BEN
Where are you on Garabedian?

MIKE
I’m working on it.
11/26/14 31.


BEN
Robby said MacLeish thinks he’s
bluffing.

MIKE
I think there’s something there,
Ben.

BEN
Get me something solid or I'm taking
you off it. I don’t want us chasing
our tails on this.

Off Mike --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary At Fenway Park during a night game, Mike, Matt, Ben, and Steve Kurkjian discuss their investigation into the Church amidst the lively atmosphere. As the crowd reacts to a called third strike, the conversation turns tense when Ben expresses skepticism about their findings, particularly regarding a priest named Liam Barrett. While Matt steps away for food, Ben pressures Mike for solid evidence, leaving the investigation's future uncertain as Mike defends the importance of their leads.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective plot progression
  • Realistic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Repetitive references to past reporting
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively sets up the investigative angle of the story, introducing key elements and conflicts while maintaining a serious and inquisitive tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of uncovering patterns of abuse within the Catholic Church is compelling and drives the investigative journalism aspect of the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene as the journalists discuss new leads and potential sources, setting up future developments in the investigation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the investigative genre by blending it with the backdrop of a baseball game. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal their dedication to the investigation.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in this scene, but it sets the stage for future growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover a pattern of abuse within the Catholic Church and bring justice to the victims. This reflects his deeper desire for truth and justice.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to gather solid evidence on a potential case involving a priest. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in proving his theory.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between the journalists' skepticism and the need for solid evidence drives the tension in the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters challenging the protagonist's findings and beliefs. The uncertainty adds depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as the journalists pursue a story that could have far-reaching implications for the Catholic Church and the victims of abuse.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new leads and conflicts, setting up the next phase of the investigation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters and the unexpected revelations about the investigation. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's belief in uncovering the truth and seeking justice, while others are skeptical or dismissive of his findings. This challenges his values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate, with a focus on the investigative process rather than emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and realistic, capturing the journalists' banter and serious discussions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter, subtle conflicts, and the mystery surrounding the investigation. The characters' interactions draw the audience in.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions keeps the scene engaging.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses the setting of Fenway Park to create a casual atmosphere that contrasts with the serious subject matter of the investigation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more tension to reflect the stakes of their investigation into the Church. The casual banter feels somewhat disconnected from the gravity of the topic they are discussing.
  • The characters' interactions are somewhat predictable, with Mike defending their investigation and Ben expressing skepticism. This dynamic is common in investigative narratives, but it could be enhanced by introducing more conflict or differing opinions among the characters to create a more engaging dialogue.
  • The use of sports metaphors and references to the game is clever, but it risks overshadowing the main narrative. While it sets a relaxed tone, it may dilute the urgency of their investigation. The dialogue should balance the lightheartedness of the setting with the seriousness of their work.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or progression. While it establishes the characters' camaraderie, it doesn't advance the plot significantly or deepen the audience's understanding of the stakes involved in their investigation. A more defined goal or revelation could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat expository, particularly when Mike lists the names and organizations they are investigating. This could be streamlined or integrated more naturally into the conversation to avoid feeling like a checklist of information.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a moment of tension or conflict among the characters that reflects the seriousness of their investigation. For example, have Ben express frustration over the lack of concrete evidence, prompting a more heated exchange with Mike.
  • Consider incorporating a revelation or new lead during the conversation that raises the stakes for the characters, making the audience feel the urgency of their investigation.
  • Use the setting of Fenway Park to create a metaphor that ties back to their investigation. For instance, compare the unpredictability of the game to the challenges they face in uncovering the truth about the Church.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by having one of the characters express personal feelings about the Church or their investigation, which could lead to a more profound discussion and character development.
  • Streamline the dialogue to make it feel more organic. Instead of listing names and organizations, have characters react to the information in a way that reveals their personalities and motivations.



Scene 13 -  Teeing Off Tensions
37 EXT. WOLLASTON GOLF CLUB, 8TH TEE, MILTON, MA - DAY 37

JIM SULLIVAN, 50s, lines up a tee shot. Smacks it. ROBBY
and TWO OTHER GOLFERS watch as Jim talks to his ball...

JIM
Stay away from that trap.

ROBBY
You couldn’t reach that trap in a
million years, partner.

One of the other golfers (PAUL) tees up his ball.

JIM
I’ve reached that trap before.

ROBBY
Yeah. Now Paul, maybe.

The group laughs.

38 EXT. WOLLASTON GOLF CLUB, 8TH HOLE FAIRWAY - DAY 38

Robby and Jim walk down the fairway. Robby checks the card.

JIM
How we doing?

ROBBY
We’re good. We’re two up.

JIM
Good.
(then)
How’s the new editor working out?
11/26/14 32.


ROBBY
Well, he doesn’t like baseball. But
he seems like a smart guy.

JIM
Yeah, I just read an article about
him. Said he’s the first Jewish
editor at the Globe.

ROBBY
Must have been a slow news day.

JIM
He got a family?

ROBBY
No, he’s not married.

JIM
Divorced?

ROBBY
Don’t think so.

JIM
So the new editor of the Boston
Globe is an unmarried man of the
Jewish faith who hates baseball?

Robby half smiles, shrugs.

JIM (CONT’D)
They should have given it to Ben.
He’s a Bradlee for crying out loud.

ROBBY
He didn’t raise his hand fast
enough.
(then)
By the way, I was reading about this
priest, Father Barrett. Said you
were involved in the case.

Jim reacts, surprised.

JIM
Barrett, yeah. Bad egg. Lake
Street asked for help, I pitched in.

ROBBY
The victim said Cardinal Law knew
about Barrett when he came from
Philly.
11/26/14 33.


JIM
You know I can’t talk about the
case, Robby.

ROBBY
Off the record?

JIM
Off the record, I can’t talk about
it. Is this related to the lawsuit?

Now Robby hides his surprise. He stops.

ROBBY
You heard about that?

JIM
Look, I don’t know this guy Baron or
what his agenda is and frankly I
don’t care, I just don’t want you
taking a bullet for him.

Jim heads off toward his ball. Off Robby, processing.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary During a casual round of golf at Wollaston Golf Club, Jim Sullivan engages in lighthearted banter with his friends Robby and Paul. As they walk down the fairway, the conversation shifts from golf to more serious topics, including Robby's new editor and a sensitive case involving a priest named Father Barrett. Jim becomes reluctant to discuss the case, indicating a conflict between his professional obligations and personal concerns. The scene ends with Jim walking away, leaving Robby to contemplate the implications of their conversation.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character interactions
  • Subtle plot development
Weaknesses
  • Limited character change
  • Minimal conflict escalation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances serious and light-hearted tones, introduces a crucial plot point, and delves into the personal lives of the characters. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information while maintaining the audience's interest.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around character interactions on a golf course, blending personal conversations with a hint of a larger plot development. The scene effectively sets the stage for future revelations.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through subtle hints about a priest abuse case, adding depth to the overall narrative. The scene sets up future conflicts and developments while maintaining a focus on character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the detective genre by incorporating elements of golf and personal relationships. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed through their conversations and interactions, showcasing their personalities and relationships. The scene allows for character growth and sets the stage for future arcs.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on character interactions and setting up future developments. However, subtle shifts in perspectives and relationships can be observed.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of professionalism and composure while discussing sensitive topics with his friend. This reflects his desire to uphold his reputation and integrity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to gather information about a sensitive case involving a priest and a lawsuit. This reflects his investigative nature and commitment to uncovering the truth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is a subtle conflict regarding the priest abuse case, the scene primarily focuses on character interactions and personal conversations. The conflict serves as a background element for future developments.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with subtle conflicts and challenges that keep the audience engaged. The uncertainty of the characters' motives adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not overtly high in this scene, the introduction of the priest abuse case hints at significant consequences and conflicts to come. The scene sets the stage for higher stakes in future developments.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a key plot point and setting up future conflicts. It provides essential information while maintaining the audience's interest.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations and twists in the conversation. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will react.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's loyalty to his friend and his duty to uncover the truth. It challenges his beliefs about trust and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by the personal conversations and hints at larger conflicts. It sets the stage for future emotional moments and character growth.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging, blending serious discussions with light-hearted banter effectively. It reveals important information while also providing insight into the characters' personalities and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and intriguing plot developments. The characters' interactions keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing dialogue and action to maintain tension and momentum. The rhythm of the conversation adds to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, making the scene easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven sequence, allowing for natural character development and plot progression.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses the setting of a golf course to create a relaxed atmosphere that contrasts with the serious subject matter of the conversation. This juxtaposition can enhance the tension as the characters discuss sensitive topics while engaging in a leisurely activity.
  • The dialogue flows naturally, showcasing the camaraderie between Robby and Jim. However, the transition from light banter to serious discussion about Father Barrett feels abrupt. A smoother segue could help maintain the scene's pacing and emotional tone.
  • Jim's reluctance to discuss the case is clear, but his motivations could be further explored. Adding a line or two that hints at his personal stakes or fears regarding the lawsuit could deepen his character and make the audience more invested in his perspective.
  • The scene ends on a note of uncertainty, with Robby processing Jim's warning. While this creates intrigue, it might benefit from a stronger emotional reaction from Robby to emphasize the weight of Jim's words and the implications for their investigation.
  • The humor in the opening exchanges is effective, but it risks undermining the gravity of the subsequent conversation. Balancing the comedic elements with the serious undertones of the investigation could enhance the overall impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a change in body language when the conversation shifts from golf to the serious topic of Father Barrett. This can signal to the audience that the tone is changing.
  • Incorporate a line where Jim reflects on the consequences of the lawsuit or his past experiences with the Church, which could provide more depth to his character and motivations.
  • Enhance Robby's emotional response to Jim's warning at the end of the scene. A line that conveys his concern or determination could strengthen the narrative and set up the stakes for the investigation.
  • Maintain the humor but ensure it serves to build character rather than distract from the main conflict. Perhaps use humor to highlight the absurdity of the situation rather than as a standalone element.
  • Consider using visual cues, such as Jim's body language or facial expressions, to convey his discomfort with the topic of discussion, which could add layers to the dialogue and enhance the tension.



Scene 14 -  Uneasy Conversations
39 INT. BARBARA’S CAR, WOLLASTON PARKING LOT - LATER 39

Robby gets in. She pulls off.

BARBARA
How’d you play?

ROBBY
Not too bad. Shoulda left my putter
at home.

BARBARA
How’s Jimmy?

ROBBY
Good. He brought up the suit.

BARBARA
Really? What’d he say?

ROBBY
He was thrilled about it.

BARBARA
It’s not a surprise, Robby. The
Church does a lot a good in this
town.

Robby nods, but something about that doesn’t sit right.
11/26/14 34.


40 EXT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, WEST ROXBURY - SUNDAY MORNING 40

Matt, in coat and tie, shepherds his family out the door and
into a minivan. His wife and daughter wear DRESSES, his sons
are in BLUE BLAZERS and KHAKIS -- clearly en route to church.

PRIEST (PRELAP)
The other day I was on the world
wide web. Anything you want to
know. It’s right there.

41 INT. CHURCH, SOUTHIE - DAY 41

Sunday mass. Full house. A PRIEST mid homily. In back, FIND
Sacha, her husband, HANSI, and her GRANDMOTHER.

PRIEST
Now as a priest, I admit, this makes
me a little nervous. Should I be
worried about job security?

Sacha watches her grandmother laugh with the congregation.

42 EXT. CHURCH/INT. DINER, SOUTH BOSTON - DAY 42

CONGREGANTS milling outside a church.

PRIEST (O.C.)
I don’t think so. You see knowledge
is one thing. But faith is another.

FIND Marty, sitting in a diner across the street, eating
breakfast and reading. He glances at the church.

42A EXT. OLD HARBOR, DORCHESTER - DAY 42A

Mike, in running gear, runs along the water.

43 OMITTED 43

44 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - LATER 44

Mike walks through the mostly empty newsroom.

45 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - DAY 45

Mike walks in, grabs a gym bag by his desk, pulls out a towel
when he spots... Robby. Sitting in his office. Working.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary After a round of golf, Robby gets into Barbara's car, where they discuss his performance and his conversation with Jimmy about a suit. While Barbara expresses her belief in the Church's positive influence on the community, Robby reveals discomfort with her views, hinting at deeper issues. The scene captures the tension between their differing perspectives, ending with Robby nodding in response to Barbara, reflecting his mixed feelings.
Strengths
  • Layered character dynamics
  • Exploration of moral dilemmas
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of overt conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets up multiple layers of conflict and intrigue, balancing personal relationships with professional responsibilities.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of exploring the intersection of faith, justice, and personal beliefs is compelling and drives the scene forward.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through character interactions and discussions, laying the groundwork for future revelations and conflicts.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the themes of religion, community, and personal beliefs, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel true to life.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' internal struggles and external conflicts are well-developed, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in character perspectives, the scene focuses more on setting up future changes and revelations.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile his feelings about the Church's influence in the town and his personal beliefs. He is grappling with conflicting emotions about the Church's role in the community.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate social interactions and conversations with other characters, such as Barbara and Jimmy, while also dealing with the influence of the Church in the town.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is more internal and subtle, revolving around moral dilemmas and personal beliefs rather than overt confrontations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge the characters' beliefs, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of uncovering truths about the Church's actions and the personal beliefs of the characters involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene lays the groundwork for future plot developments and revelations, moving the story forward in a meaningful way.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character interactions and the introduction of conflicting beliefs and values.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between knowledge and faith, as highlighted by the Priest's dialogue about the world wide web and job security. This conflict challenges the characters' beliefs and values, particularly Sacha and her grandmother.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of introspection and moral questioning, resonating with the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is meaningful and reflective of the characters' inner turmoil and conflicting beliefs.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between characters, the exploration of complex themes, and the vivid depiction of the setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character development to unfold naturally.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that facilitate easy visualization of the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that transitions smoothly between different locations and characters, maintaining a consistent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of casual conversation between Robby and Barbara, which serves to humanize the characters amidst the serious themes of the screenplay. However, the dialogue feels somewhat superficial and lacks depth, especially considering the weight of the subject matter they are dealing with. The mention of the Church doing good in the town contrasts sharply with the ongoing investigation into its abuses, but this tension could be explored more explicitly in their exchange.
  • Robby's internal conflict is hinted at when he nods but feels uneasy about Barbara's comment. This is a good start, but the scene could benefit from more explicit emotional cues or reactions from Robby to convey his discomfort. The audience should feel the weight of his internal struggle regarding the Church's reputation versus the investigation's implications.
  • The pacing of the scene is relatively slow, which can work for building tension, but it may also risk losing the audience's engagement. The transition from the golf game to this car ride feels abrupt, and the connection between the two scenes could be strengthened to maintain narrative flow.
  • The setting of the car is a good choice for an intimate conversation, but it could be enhanced with more visual details or actions that reflect the characters' emotions. For example, showing Robby fidgeting with something in the car or Barbara's expressions could add layers to their interaction.
  • The dialogue could be more dynamic. While it serves its purpose, it feels somewhat expository. Instead of simply stating facts, the characters could engage in a more nuanced discussion that reveals their differing perspectives on the Church and the ongoing investigation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue. For instance, have Robby challenge Barbara's view of the Church's goodness, leading to a more heated or emotional exchange that reflects his internal conflict.
  • Incorporate physical actions or reactions that illustrate Robby's discomfort with Barbara's comments. This could be as simple as him looking away or gripping the seat tightly, which would visually convey his unease.
  • Enhance the pacing by interspersing the dialogue with brief moments of silence or reflection, allowing the audience to absorb the weight of what is being discussed.
  • Explore the setting further by including sounds or sights from the parking lot that might contrast with the serious nature of their conversation, such as children playing or church bells ringing, to create a more vivid atmosphere.
  • Consider revising the dialogue to include more conflict or disagreement between Robby and Barbara, which could serve to deepen their characters and highlight the complexities of their views on the Church.



Scene 15 -  Determined Pursuit
46 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 46

Robby’s looking over some of the clips Matt pulled.
11/26/14 35.


MIKE
Hey. Shouldn’t you be golfing?

Robby looks up. Mike’s in the door, towel around his neck.

ROBBY
Golfing’s not a verb. And I
couldn’t get a tee time today.

MIKE
Is that what they call it? A tee
time?

ROBBY
They also call it a leisure
activity. You should try it, Mike.

MIKE
I run.

ROBBY
You run to work.

Mike shrugs, true. He eyes the clips on Robby’s desk.

MIKE
So what are you doing here today?

ROBBY
Looking at clips. On Saviano.

MIKE
Ben and Steve think he’s a dead end.
They gave me a bunch of crap about
it at the game.

ROBBY
Yeah, Ben emailed me.

MIKE
He did?

ROBBY
Yeah. He said we should let it go.

MIKE
What do you wanna do?

ROBBY
Bring Saviano in.

MIKE
So just ignore those guys?
11/26/14 36.


ROBBY
I think we have to start ignoring
everybody on this one.

MIKE
I’m good with that.
(then)
You think Baron has any idea what’s
coming down the Pike?

ROBBY
No. I don’t think he cares either.

MIKE
That’s refreshing.

ROBBY
Yeah. Unless he’s wrong.

Mike registers this.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Robby's office, he reviews clips on Saviano while Mike enters, joking about Robby's absence from golfing. They discuss the skepticism of their colleagues, Ben and Steve, who believe pursuing Saviano is futile. Despite this, Robby is resolute in his decision to bring Saviano in, and Mike supports him, questioning whether Baron is aware of the situation. The scene blends light humor with professional determination, ending with uncertainty about Baron's stance.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a conflict between characters and advances the plot by introducing a new direction for the investigation. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' motivations clearly.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of conflicting perspectives within the investigative team is well-developed in this scene, adding complexity to the story and setting up future conflicts.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the characters decide to pursue leads despite opposition. It sets up a new direction for the investigation and raises the stakes for the team.

Originality: 7

The scene presents a familiar workplace setting but introduces originality through the characters' interactions and conflicts, which feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Robby and Mike are well-defined in this scene, with their differing approaches to the investigation highlighted effectively. Their motivations and personalities shine through in their interactions.

Character Changes: 7

Both Robby and Mike show a commitment to their investigative work, but their core personalities remain consistent in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal in this scene is to assert his independence and decision-making authority in the face of opposition from his colleagues.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to pursue the investigation on Saviano despite opposition from his colleagues.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between characters regarding the direction of the investigation is central to this scene, adding tension and drama to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and drive the narrative forward, with Robby facing resistance from his colleagues.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised as Robby and Mike decide to pursue leads that others have dismissed, risking their credibility and potentially uncovering explosive information.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new lead and setting up a potential conflict within the team. It propels the investigation into a new phase.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and conflicts, but the decision-making dilemma adds a layer of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between following the opinions of others (Ben and Steve) or trusting one's instincts and pursuing a lead independently.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is emotionally charged due to the characters' determination, the emotional impact is not as high as in more intense moments of the story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, revealing the characters' conflicting viewpoints and adding depth to their relationship. It drives the scene forward and keeps the audience invested.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter, character conflicts, and the tension between following others' opinions and trusting one's instincts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics through dialogue and actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy office setting, with clear character introductions and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven workplace scene, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the camaraderie and banter between Mike and Robby, showcasing their personalities and the tension within the newsroom regarding the investigation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the conflict and stakes surrounding their investigation into Saviano.
  • Robby's determination to pursue Saviano despite pushback from Ben and Steve adds a layer of tension, but the scene lacks a clear emotional arc. The stakes feel somewhat muted; it would be more engaging if the characters expressed their frustrations or fears more vividly, making the audience feel the weight of their decision.
  • The humor in the dialogue is a nice touch, but it sometimes undercuts the seriousness of the investigation. Balancing the light-hearted banter with moments of gravity could enhance the emotional impact of the scene, especially given the sensitive subject matter they are dealing with.
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the previous one, but it could benefit from a stronger visual description to set the tone. Describing the cluttered office, the atmosphere, or Robby's demeanor could help ground the audience in the setting and mood.
  • The dialogue is functional but could be more dynamic. Adding interruptions, overlapping dialogue, or physical actions could create a more engaging rhythm and reflect the urgency of their investigation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Mike expresses his doubts or fears about pursuing Saviano, which would heighten the stakes and create a more compelling conflict between him and Robby.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or visual cues that reflect the characters' emotional states. For example, Robby could be pacing or fidgeting with the clips, indicating his anxiety about the investigation.
  • Enhance the dialogue with subtext that hints at the larger implications of their investigation. For instance, they could reference past failures or the potential fallout from pursuing Saviano, which would add depth to their conversation.
  • Introduce a moment of tension where Mike questions Robby's judgment or commitment to the investigation, leading to a more heated exchange that reveals their differing perspectives on the story.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger hook or cliffhanger that propels the narrative forward, such as a sudden realization or a new piece of information that changes their approach to the investigation.



Scene 16 -  A Tense Exchange at the Mansion
47 EXT. LAKE STREET, CARDINAL’S RESIDENCE - DAY 47

An Audi A4 pulls up in a large parking lot. Marty gets out,
looks up at the Cardinal’s MASSIVE LAKE STREET MANSION.

CARDINAL LAW (PRELAP)
I’ve always been fascinated with the
newspaper business.

48 INT. LAKE STREET, CARDINAL LAW’S PRIVATE STUDY - DAY 48

Mahogany bookshelves, leather furniture. CARDINAL LAW,
large, 50s, wears a collar and sits across from Marty.

CARDINAL LAW
I used to sit in on lectures with
the Nieman fellows when I was at
Harvard.

MARTY
I, uh, read you were an editor once.

Law chuckles.

CARDINAL LAW
Yes. A very long time ago. The
Mississippi Register. Small,
diocesan newspaper, but for a 30-
year-old pastor it was a big
responsibility. Too much at times.

MARTY
How so?
11/26/14 37.


CARDINAL LAW
I was close with the Evers brothers,
we took a stand on civil rights.
Our readership was not pleased.
They saw me as a meddling outsider.

MARTY
I can imagine.

CARDINAL LAW
Tough seat to sit in, especially in
a small town. I think you’ll find
Boston’s a small town too, Marty, in
many ways. But if I can be of any
help, don’t hesitate to ask. I find
that this city flourishes when its
great institutions work together.

MARTY
Uh, thank you. Personally I’m of
the opinion that for the paper to
best perform its function it needs
to, uh, stand alone.

Law reacts, surprised -- the rebuff almost feels unwarranted.

CARDINAL LAW
Of course, but my offer stands.

A KNOCK on the door.

CARDINAL LAW (CONT’D)
Come in.

A SECRETARY slips in with a WRAPPED GIFT.

CARDINAL LAW (CONT’D)
Oh. Thank you, Maureen. A little
gift, Marty. Think of it as A
Cardinal’s guide to Boston.

Law hands the gift to Marty. Who looks at it. Bemused.

49 INT. MARTY’S CAR (PARKED), LAKE STREET - LATER 49

Marty gets into to his car. He sits, unwraps the gift. A
thick book, THE CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. Off Marty--

49A INT. GLOBE, LOBBY - DAY 49A

A MAN (SAVIANO) carrying a LARGE BOX walks up to reception.

SAVIANO
I’m here to see Sacha Pfeiffer?
11/26/14 38.


GUARD
Name?

SAVIANO
Phil Saviano.

GUARD
Okay, just a minute.

The guard picks up the phone, calls upstairs.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Marty visits Cardinal Law's mansion and engages in a tense conversation about the independence of the newspaper, surprising Cardinal Law with his stance. Cardinal Law shares his past experiences in journalism and civil rights, but their differing views create an underlying conflict. A secretary delivers a wrapped gift, revealing a book titled 'The Catechism of the Catholic Church,' symbolizing Cardinal Law's influence. The scene shifts focus as Saviano arrives at the Globe to see Sacha Pfeiffer.
Strengths
  • Nuanced character interactions
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing setup for future plot developments
Weaknesses
  • Lack of intense emotional impact
  • Limited conflict escalation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, providing insight into Cardinal Law's character and setting up potential future conflicts. The dialogue is engaging and informative, adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Cardinal Law's past and his offer to assist Marty adds layers to the narrative, hinting at future collaborations or conflicts. It deepens the understanding of the characters and their motivations.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Cardinal Law offers his assistance to Marty, potentially leading to alliances or tensions in the future. The scene sets up intriguing possibilities for the storyline to unfold.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the newspaper industry and explores themes of independence and collaboration in a nuanced way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the authenticity of the setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Marty and Cardinal Law are well-developed in this scene, with Cardinal Law's background and offer adding complexity to his persona. Their interactions reveal insights into their personalities and potential dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, Cardinal Law's offer to assist Marty hints at potential shifts in their relationship dynamics in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his independence and belief in the paper's autonomy. This reflects his desire for the paper to have a strong, independent voice and not be influenced by external forces.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to establish a professional relationship with Cardinal Law and potentially gain his support or guidance. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the complex dynamics of the newspaper industry and seeking mentorship from a powerful figure.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is an underlying tension in Cardinal Law's offer to assist Marty, the scene primarily focuses on establishing a potential alliance. The conflict is more nuanced and subtle.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged in the outcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate in this scene, with Cardinal Law's offer adding complexity to Marty's position at the Boston Globe. The potential alliances or conflicts could have significant implications.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing Cardinal Law as a potential ally or adversary for Marty, setting up future plot developments and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected rebuff from the protagonist towards Cardinal Law, adding a layer of tension and uncertainty to the interaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the balance between independence and collaboration. The protagonist's belief in the paper's autonomy clashes with Cardinal Law's emphasis on institutions working together for the greater good.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of respect and reflection, but the emotional impact is not intense. It sets the stage for future emotional developments between the characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and informative, reflecting the serious tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' thoughts and motivations, setting the stage for future developments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and subtle power dynamics between the characters. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of tension and reflection to build effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to industry standards and effectively conveys the dialogue and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven sequence, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the power dynamics between Marty and Cardinal Law, showcasing Law's authority and influence in Boston. However, the dialogue could be tightened to enhance the tension. For instance, Marty's response to Law's offer could be more assertive, emphasizing the independence of the press without sounding overly polite.
  • Cardinal Law's character is introduced well, but his motivations and the implications of his past experiences could be explored further. The mention of civil rights is intriguing but feels somewhat disconnected from the main conversation. A more direct connection between his past and the current situation could deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
  • The gift exchange at the end of the scene feels somewhat abrupt and lacks emotional weight. While it serves as a symbolic gesture, the scene could benefit from a more explicit reaction from Marty to the gift, which could reveal his feelings about the Church and its influence.
  • The transition from the private study to Marty's car is a bit jarring. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge the two locations, allowing the audience to process the conversation before moving on.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the dialogue could be more dynamic. Some lines feel expository and could be rephrased to sound more natural and engaging. For example, instead of 'I can imagine,' Marty could express a more personal connection to the topic, enhancing his character development.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Marty's dialogue to be more assertive and confident in his stance on journalistic independence, which would create a stronger contrast with Cardinal Law's perspective.
  • Explore Cardinal Law's motivations further by connecting his past experiences with civil rights to the current investigation, perhaps by having him make a more direct comparison to the Church's current stance on abuse.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the gift exchange by including a moment of reflection from Marty after receiving the Catechism, allowing the audience to see his internal conflict regarding the Church.
  • Add a brief moment of silence or a visual cue between the end of the conversation and Marty's departure to create a smoother transition to the next scene.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to make it feel more organic and less expository, focusing on how the characters would naturally speak in such a tense situation.



Scene 17 -  Confronting the Past
50 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE - DAY 50

The entire team sits in Robby’s small sitting area facing
PHIL SAVIANO. Phil is mid-40s, thin and twitchy. He’s got a
medium sized BOX in front if him. He rifles through some
papers on his lap.

SAVIANO
So am I the first survivor you’ve
talked to?

ROBBY
Yes, Phil. You are.

SAVIANO
Okay, well, first of all, let me say
thank you for having me in today. I
want you to know that you have the
full cooperation of my organization,
SNAP.

SACHA
How many members are there in your
organization, Phil?

SAVIANO
We had eleven at our last chapter
meeting. No ten. Karen just moved.

ROBBY
There was a woman in your group?

SAVIANO
Of course there was a woman. They
don’t discriminate, not when it
comes to abuse. And this has
nothing to do with being gay. What
this is, is priests using the collar
to rape kids. Kids. Boys and girls.

He reaches into a file, pulls a PHOTO of himself as a kid.
11/26/14 39.


SAVIANO (CONT’D)
I was eleven. I was preyed upon by
Father David Holley in Worcester.
And I don’t mean prayed for. I mean
preyed upon. Are any of you
Catholic?

The whole team looks at each other. Good question.

MATT
I was raised Catholic but now I go
to my wife’s Presbyterian church.

SACHA
I’m lapsed but I go to church with
my grandmother sometimes.

ROBBY
It’s safe to say we were all raised
Catholic but now...

MIKE
Not so much.

SAVIANO
Okay. Well, let me tell you, when
you’re a poor kid from a poor
family, religion counts for a lot.
And when a priest pays attention to
you it’s a big deal. He asks you to
collect the hymnals or take out the
trash, you feel special. It’s like
God asking for help. And maybe it’s
a little weird when he tells you a
dirty joke but now you got a secret
together so you go along. Then he
shows you a porno mag, and you go
along. And you go along, and you go
along, until one day he asks you to
jerk him off or give him a blow job.
And so you go along with that too.
Because you feel trapped. Because
he has groomed you. How do you say
no to God, right?

This lands.

SAVIANO (CONT’D)
See, it’s important to understand
that this is not just physical
abuse, it’s spiritual abuse too.
When priest does this to you, he
robs you of your faith.
(MORE)
11/26/14 40.

SAVIANO (CONT’D)
So you reach for the bottle or the
needle or if those don’t work, you
jump off a bridge. That’s why we
call ourselves survivors.

The team stares, gobsmacked. Phil pulls a book from the box.

SAVIANO (CONT’D)
Have you read Jason Berry’s book?
He wrote about the Gauthe case in
Louisiana?

ROBBY SACHA
We’re not familiar. That’s G-U...

SAVIANO (CONT’D)
G-A-U-T-H-E. And talk to Richard
Sipe. He worked in one of the
Church’s ‘treatment’ centers, he’s
an ex-priest, married a nun.
(pulling out a file)
Here, this is his testimony from the
Kos case.

SACHA
Phil, what’s a treatment center?

SAVIANO
It’s where they send priests when
they get caught. This is all right
here in the box, I sent it all to
you guys five years ago.

ROBBY
To the Globe? Who’d you send it to?

SAVIANO
I don’t wanna say who, but they said
they weren’t interested.

MATT
But Phil, we did run a couple of
stories on you. I saw them in the
clips.

SAVIANO
Yeah but to be completely frank, it
wasn’t enough!

Robby and Mike trade a look as Phil takes a PACKET out of the
box overflowing with tattered clips, articles and data CDs.
11/26/14 41.


SAVIANO (CONT’D)
You guys gotta understand, this is
big. It’s not just Boston, it’s the
whole country, the whole world. And
it goes right up to the Vatican.

MIKE
Do you have any proof of that, Phil?

SAVIANO
No, not yet, but think about it,
there are so many of them, how else
could they have hidden it for so
long?

MIKE
So many what?

SAVIANO
Priests! I know of thirteen right
here in Boston.

ROBBY
You know of thirteen priests who
have molested children in Boston?

SAVIANO
Yeah. Why do you keep repeating
everything I say?

ROBBY
I just like to clarify things.

SAVIANO
Maybe you should have clarified it
five years ago when I sent you all
this stuff! It’s all right here.

Phil’s sudden anger catches the room off guard. He stares at
the box, tries to pull himself together.

SAVIANO (CONT’D)
May I use your bathroom?

MATT
Yeah. Sure, Phil. Come on.

Matt leads Phil out. A beat. Mike quickly starts shuffling
through the packet.

SACHA
What do you think?
11/26/14 42.


ROBBY
He’s got an agenda, that’s for sure.

MIKE SACHA
You think? He’s obviously been through a
lot.

SACHA
But he’s smart and if he’s right
about thirteen priests...

ROBBY
Might be a big ‘if’ with this guy.
(then to Sacha)
Run background on him and follow up
with some of the other survivors in
his group.

MIKE
I’ll track down this ex-priest Sipe.

ROBBY
Okay. But stay on Garabedian,
that’s more important.

MIKE
Garabedian’s a pain in the ass.

ROBBY
You can be a pain in the ass,
Michael.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Robby's office, the team meets Phil Saviano, a survivor of priest abuse and a member of SNAP. Phil shares his traumatic experiences and the grooming tactics used by priests, expressing frustration over the Globe's previous disinterest in his information. As he discusses the spiritual and physical abuse he endured, the team reflects on their own Catholic backgrounds. Tension rises when Phil leaves for the bathroom, prompting the team to debate his credibility and the implications of his claims.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some repetition in dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, shedding light on a sensitive topic with depth and authenticity. It effectively conveys the gravity of the situation and sets the stage for further investigation and revelations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the survivors' testimony and the broader implications of abuse within the Church is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the storyline and raises important ethical and moral questions.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene as Phil Saviano's revelations prompt the team to reevaluate their approach and delve deeper into the investigation. It introduces new leads and challenges, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the abuse scandal within the Catholic Church, shedding light on the psychological manipulation and spiritual trauma experienced by survivors. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and show vulnerability and empathy in response to Phil Saviano's testimony. Their reactions and interactions reveal layers of their personalities and deepen the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Phil Saviano's testimony prompts a shift in the team's perspective and approach, leading to introspection and reevaluation of their beliefs and actions. It marks a turning point in their investigation and personal growth.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the abuse scandal within the Catholic Church and to validate the experiences of survivors like Phil Saviano. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the claims made by Phil Saviano and gather evidence to support his allegations. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the complexities of the abuse scandal and the resistance they face from various sources.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, stemming from the survivors' traumatic experiences and the team's moral dilemma in uncovering the truth. It sets the stage for deeper investigations and ethical challenges.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Phil Saviano challenges the characters' beliefs and motivations. His confrontational attitude creates a sense of conflict and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the team grapples with the gravity of the abuse allegations, the potential impact on the Church, and the survivors' quest for justice. It underscores the moral imperative and risks involved in pursuing the truth.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new leads, deepening the investigation, and raising the stakes. It sets the stage for further revelations and challenges, propelling the narrative towards a critical juncture.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional outbursts and revelations from Phil Saviano. The shifting dynamics between the characters add to the unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the values of faith and the reality of abuse. Phil Saviano's testimony challenges the characters' beliefs in the sanctity of the Church and raises questions about the moral responsibility of religious institutions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking sadness, shock, and empathy towards the survivors' plight. It resonates with the audience on a deep level, highlighting the human cost of abuse and the survivors' resilience.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue is poignant, authentic, and impactful, capturing the emotional weight of the survivors' stories. It effectively conveys the trauma and struggles faced by the characters, enhancing the scene's depth and resonance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, emotional depth, and the revelation of crucial information about the investigation. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of emotional impact and character development. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. The visual elements are well-defined.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals key information about the investigation. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the gravity of Phil Saviano's experiences and the broader implications of the abuse scandal. His emotional recounting of his past is powerful and serves to engage the audience's empathy. However, the pacing could be improved; some moments feel rushed, particularly when transitioning between dialogue and emotional beats.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but there are instances where it feels overly expository. For example, when Saviano explains the grooming process, it could be more impactful if shown through a flashback or a more subtle recounting rather than a straightforward explanation. This would allow the audience to experience the trauma rather than just hear about it.
  • The characters' reactions to Saviano's story are crucial, yet they could be more varied. While they are visibly affected, adding more nuanced reactions—such as physical discomfort, silence, or even a moment of shared vulnerability—could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The conflict between Saviano's urgency and the team's skepticism is present but could be heightened. The team’s initial disbelief and subsequent discussions about Saviano's credibility could be more pronounced, creating a stronger tension that reflects the real-life challenges journalists face when dealing with sensitive subjects.
  • The scene ends with a somewhat abrupt transition to the team's discussion after Saviano leaves. A more gradual shift, perhaps with a lingering shot on Saviano's empty chair or the box of documents, could emphasize the weight of what was just shared and the responsibility the team now feels.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating flashbacks or visual storytelling elements to illustrate Saviano's experiences, making the emotional weight more palpable for the audience.
  • Enhance the characters' reactions to Saviano's revelations by including more varied emotional responses, such as silence, discomfort, or even moments of connection among the team members.
  • Strengthen the conflict by allowing the team to express more skepticism or concern about Saviano's claims, which would create a more dynamic interaction and reflect the complexities of investigative journalism.
  • Slow down the pacing during key emotional moments to allow the audience to fully absorb the gravity of Saviano's story and its implications.
  • Rework the ending of the scene to create a more impactful transition, perhaps by lingering on the aftermath of Saviano's departure to emphasize the weight of the information shared.



Scene 18 -  A Tenuous Agreement
52 EXT. STATE STREET, BOSTON - DAY 52

Garabedian walks down State Street. Mike falls in with him.

MIKE
Mitch, what a surprise. How are you?

GARABEDIAN
I’m fine, Mr. Rezendes.

The light changes and Garabedian walks. Mike tags along.

MIKE
Good. You know, I never heard back
from you. I left you a couple
messages.

GARABEDIAN
I’ve been very busy. I don’t have
time for calls.
11/26/14 43.


MIKE
Jeez, I’m sure you don’t. Listen,
Mitch, lemme talk to a couple of
your victims... You can sit in on
the interview, if you’re not happy
you can kill it.

GARABEDIAN
I spoke to my clients, they don’t
want to be in the press. I’m sorry.

Garabedian walks into --

53 INT. GARABEDIAN’S BUILDING, LOBBY - CONTINUOUS 53

A shitty lobby, Mike follows Mitch in, continues --

MIKE
I get that but I don’t need to name
names, Mitch.

GARABEDIAN
I don’t believe you, Mr. Rezendes.

Mitch walks to the elevator, presses the button.

MIKE
Yeah, I’m sure you don’t.

GARABEDIAN
I don’t.

The elevator opens. Mitch walks on. Mike follows him into --

54 INT. GARABEDIAN’S BUILDING, ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS 54

The doors close. It’s cramped, but Mike keeps going.

MIKE
Listen, Mitch, I’m not writing a
profile here. I’m working on
something bigger.

GARABEDIAN
Bigger, what does that mean?

MIKE
I’m not supposed to tell you this,
but I’m digging around for
Spotlight.

This registers with Mitch.
11/26/14 44.


GARABEDIAN
Spotlight’s on this?

MIKE
Yeah, we’re looking into it. But I
need some help, Mitch. You gotta
let me talk to some of these
victims. Please.

GARABEDIAN
(beat, then)
Come back tomorrow. 9:30am.

MIKE
Thank you.

Doors open. Garabedian walks out. Mike smiles. Got him.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense encounter on State Street in Boston, journalist Mike Rezendes confronts attorney Mitch Garabedian, urging him to allow interviews with abuse victims for a larger investigation. Garabedian, protective of his clients' anonymity, initially resists but becomes intrigued when Mike mentions the Spotlight investigation. After a heated discussion in the lobby and elevator, Garabedian reluctantly agrees to meet Mike the following day, marking a small victory for the journalist.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • High stakes and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a strong focus on character dynamics and conflict. It effectively sets up the importance of the investigation and the challenges faced by the journalists.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the pivotal moment where Mike seeks permission to interview victims, setting the stage for a deeper dive into the investigation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Mike pushes for access to key information, highlighting the obstacles and risks involved in pursuing the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to investigative journalism, highlighting the ethical dilemmas and challenges faced by journalists in pursuit of a story. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Mike and Garabedian are well-developed, with clear motivations and conflicting interests that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, it sets up potential shifts in Mike's approach and Garabedian's stance in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to gain access to the victims of a potential scandal for his investigative work. This reflects his desire for truth and justice, as well as his determination to uncover the story.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince Garabedian to allow him to interview the victims. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in obtaining crucial information for his investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Mike and Garabedian is intense and drives the scene, highlighting the high stakes and challenges faced by the journalists.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Garabedian presents a significant obstacle to the protagonist's goals through his commitment to client confidentiality. The audience is left unsure of how the negotiation will play out, adding to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the scene as Mike attempts to secure crucial interviews that could make or break the investigation, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by establishing the need for access to victims and the challenges faced by the journalists in pursuing the investigation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between the characters, the unexpected agreement reached at the end, and the revelation of the protagonist's true intentions. The audience is kept on their toes wondering how the interaction will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's pursuit of truth and justice and Garabedian's commitment to client confidentiality and privacy. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of transparency and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of determination and urgency, but the emotional impact is more subdued compared to other scenes in the screenplay.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and negotiation between Mike and Garabedian, adding depth to their characters and the overall conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tense negotiation between the protagonist and Garabedian, the high stakes involved in the investigation, and the dynamic character interactions. The dialogue drives the scene forward and keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of tension and urgency throughout the interaction between the characters. The rhythm of the dialogue and the progression of events keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven investigative drama, with a clear progression of events and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between Mike and Garabedian, showcasing their conflicting priorities. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional stakes. Currently, the exchanges feel somewhat straightforward and could be enriched with underlying motivations or frustrations that reveal more about their characters.
  • The setting transitions from the street to the elevator, which is a good choice for maintaining the momentum of the conversation. However, the cramped space of the elevator could be used more effectively to heighten the tension. Consider incorporating physical actions or reactions that reflect their discomfort or urgency, such as Mike leaning in closer or Garabedian avoiding eye contact.
  • Garabedian's character comes off as somewhat one-dimensional in this scene. While he is portrayed as resistant, adding layers to his character could make him more relatable. Perhaps he has personal stakes in the situation that make him hesitant to cooperate, which could be hinted at through his dialogue or body language.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the dialogue could be tightened to create a more dynamic rhythm. Some lines feel repetitive, particularly Garabedian's insistence that his clients don't want to be in the press. Streamlining this could enhance the flow and keep the audience engaged.
  • The scene concludes on a positive note for Mike, which is effective in showing his determination. However, it might be more impactful if there were a hint of Garabedian's internal conflict as he agrees to the meeting. This could foreshadow future complications in their relationship and add depth to the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate subtext into the dialogue to reveal deeper motivations and emotions. For example, Mike could express frustration not just with Garabedian's refusal, but also with the broader implications of the abuse cases, making the stakes feel higher.
  • Utilize the cramped elevator setting to create a sense of urgency and tension. Consider adding physical actions that reflect the characters' emotional states, such as Mike's body language becoming more assertive as he presses for information.
  • Develop Garabedian's character further by hinting at his personal stakes or fears regarding the victims and the press. This could be done through a brief flashback or a line that reveals his past experiences with the Church or abuse cases.
  • Tighten the dialogue to eliminate repetitive lines and enhance the pacing. Focus on making each line count, ensuring that every exchange propels the story forward or deepens character relationships.
  • End the scene with a more ambiguous note regarding Garabedian's agreement. Perhaps he hesitates before confirming the meeting, suggesting that he is grappling with his own fears or doubts about the investigation.



Scene 19 -  Nervous Beginnings at Cafe Francesca
55A EXT. CAFE FRANCESCA, SOUTH END - DAY 55A

Sacha walks up to a small cafe in the South end.

56 INT. CAFE FRANCESCA, SOUTH END - DAY 56

A small, bohemian cafe, mostly men. JOE CROWLEY, 42, heavy,
boyish face, sits alone WATCHING the door. NERVOUS as shit.
The door opens. Sacha walks in, pauses, looking around...

JOE CROWLEY
Ms. Pfeiffer?

SACHA
Joe?

He stands, almost knocking over his coffee. He starts to
straighten the messy table, clean the crumbs all over it.

JOE CROWLEY SACHA
Shoot. Sorry. No, that’s okay, no problem.

JOE CROWLEY
Uh... please sit. Is this table
okay? I had a muffin while I was
waiting. Two actually. I eat when
I’m nervous.

SACHA
I do that too.
(then)
I hope I’m not late. Phil said one.

JOE CROWLEY
No, you’re fine. I got here early.
About an hour.
11/26/14 45.


SACHA
Would you mind if I took some of
notes? Would that be alright?

57 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 57

Mike and Garabedian sit with 25-year-old PATRICK MCSORLEY.
McSorley is good looking but ragged. Not outwardly nervous,
but he’s got a high-pitched voice and an ADDICT’S ITCH.

MIKE
You don’t mind if I take some notes,
do you?

PATRICK MCSORELY
You gonna use my name?

GARABEDIAN
No.

MIKE
Not if you don’t want me to.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
I just had a kid. He’s only one but
I’m not sure I want him to know
about this.

MIKE
Yeah. I get it.

GARABEDIAN
You can stop this interview any time
you want, Patrick.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Okay. Go ‘head with your notes.

MIKE
Where did you live when it first
happened?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
In the projects, over in Hyde Park.

MIKE
Over by the Stop & Shop?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Yeah, you know it?

MIKE
Yeah, I drove a cab for years. Opens
early, bad coffee, right?
11/26/14 46.


PATRICK MCSORLEY
Yeah, I guess.

McSorley isn’t having it.

MIKE
How old were you? When it happened.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
I was twelve. My dad had just
killed himself.

MIKE
Jeez.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
He was a real piece of shit. And my
mom, she wasn’t so stable to begin
with.

MIKE
What do mean?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
I mean she was nuts. GARABEDIAN
She was schizophrenic.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Same shit.

MIKE
So how did you meet Geoghan?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
My sister saw him in the Dunkin’
Donuts. She tells him about my old
man and he rushed right over.

Patrick nervously itches at his arm as we CUT TO --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary Sacha arrives at Cafe Francesca to meet Joe Crowley, who is visibly anxious and fidgeting with his coffee. They exchange pleasantries, with Joe apologizing for the mess and revealing his habit of eating muffins to cope with his nerves. Sacha asks to take notes during their conversation, indicating the importance of their meeting. The scene captures Joe's clumsiness and anxiety, contrasted with Sacha's calm demeanor, as they establish a rapport before delving into a more serious discussion.
Strengths
  • Intense character interactions
  • Informative dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some nervousness in character interactions may be repetitive

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the subject matter while providing informative dialogue and character interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigating abuse by priests is compelling and drives the scene forward with a sense of urgency and importance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as the characters delve deeper into the sensitive topic, uncovering details about the abuse and the impact on the victims.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as Joe Crowley's nervousness and Patrick McSorley's backstory, adding depth and authenticity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, showcasing their nervousness, intensity, and determination to uncover the truth.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes as they confront the difficult subject matter and strive to uncover the truth.

Internal Goal: 8

Sacha's internal goal in this scene is to make a good impression and gather information. This reflects her desire to succeed in her task and her need for validation and approval.

External Goal: 7

Sacha's external goal is to gather information from Joe Crowley. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in her investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from the sensitive nature of the topic and the characters' struggles to reveal the truth while navigating their emotions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external challenges that add depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes involve exposing the truth about abuse by priests and seeking justice for the victims, highlighting the importance of the investigation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the abuse and the characters' determination to seek justice.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' nervousness and the subtle hints at hidden motives and secrets.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in the scene between honesty and deception. Joe Crowley's nervousness and Sacha's investigative approach challenge their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a sense of empathy and concern for the characters involved in the investigation, drawing the audience into the emotional depth of the story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is informative, intense, and reveals the emotional depth of the characters involved in the investigation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the naturalistic dialogue, character dynamics, and subtle tension between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining audience interest through naturalistic dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard format for character introductions and dialogue exchanges, effectively setting up the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense atmosphere through Joe Crowley's nervous demeanor and the cluttered table, which visually represents his anxiety. This is a strong choice that helps the audience empathize with his character.
  • The dialogue between Sacha and Joe is natural and relatable, particularly the exchange about eating when nervous. This adds a layer of humanity to both characters, making them more relatable to the audience.
  • However, the scene lacks a clear dramatic tension or conflict. While Joe's nervousness is palpable, there is no immediate stakes or urgency that propels the scene forward. The audience may feel a sense of stagnation as the conversation unfolds without a clear direction.
  • The transition to the next scene with Mike and Garabedian feels abrupt. While it serves to juxtapose the two interviews, it could benefit from a smoother transition that ties the two scenes together thematically or emotionally.
  • The scene could also benefit from more visual storytelling. While the dialogue is engaging, incorporating more visual cues or actions that reflect the characters' emotions could enhance the scene's impact. For example, showing Joe fidgeting with his coffee cup or Sacha's body language could add depth to their interactions.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a specific reason for Sacha's meeting with Joe that raises the stakes. For example, perhaps Joe has crucial information that could impact the investigation, creating a sense of urgency.
  • Consider adding a moment of tension or conflict during their conversation. This could be a moment where Joe hesitates to share something important, prompting Sacha to push him for more information.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by including more physical actions or reactions from the characters. This could involve Joe's nervous habits or Sacha's focused demeanor as she takes notes, which would help convey their emotional states without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Create a more seamless transition to the next scene by incorporating a line or action that connects Joe's nervousness to the gravity of the investigation, perhaps hinting at the weight of the information he holds.
  • Consider using subtext in their dialogue to hint at deeper issues or fears, which could add layers to their interaction and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 20 -  Unveiling Shadows
58 INT. CAFE FRANCESCA, SOUTH END - DAY 58

Joe talks very fast. He takes a big gulp of water.

JOE CROWLEY
...and there was this nun, Sister
Barbara, she ran this group for kids
from troubled families.

SACHA
Where was that?
11/26/14 47.


JOE CROWLEY
St. Ambrose in Dorchester. She’s
the one who introduced me to Father
Shanley. He was a street priest,
long hair, very hip. He invited me
to his apartment in Back Bay.

SACHA
Where in Back Bay?

JOE CROWLEY
Beacon Street. Are you from here?

SACHA
I grew up in Ohio but my mom’s from
Southie.

JOE CROWLEY
So you get it. I’d never even been
to Back Bay.

SACHA
What happened on that first visit?

JOE CROWLEY
Well, he was very nice at first,
very casual, very funny. And I
think he could tell I was gay
because he showed me this mobile he
had, like over a baby’s crib? But
with different words. Homosexual,
bisexual, transsexual...

SACHA
Did you know you were gay at the
time, Joe?

JOE CROWLEY
Yes, but that wasn’t information I
was sharing with anybody. Not in
Dorchester.

SACHA
Right. So, what happened when he
showed you the mobile?

JOE CROWLEY
Well, I was a little freaked out and
I guess he could tell so he said,
you know what will help is if we
play strip poker. Of course I lost.
And things went on from there.
11/26/14 48.


SACHA
What happened specifically?

JOE CROWLEY
Specifically, he molested me.

SASHA
Joe, I think the language here is
going to be very important. We
can’t sanitize this, just saying
molest isn’t enough. People need to
know what actually happened.

Joe sits back, getting it as the waiter serves two coffees.

JOE CROWLEY
Maybe we should get these to go.

59 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 59

Mike sits with McSorley and Garabedian.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Geoghan shows up and my mom, she’s
thrilled. I mean this was like God
showing up, you know?

MIKE
Sure. So what happened then?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
You really want to hear this shit?

MIKE
Yeah, Patrick. I do.

Patrick is struggling a bit. But he continues.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
He offers to take me to get ice
cream. He’s a priest, I’m a kid, so
I go.

MIKE
Sure.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
So we’re driving home and he starts
patting my leg and then... his hand
just slides up and he grabs my dick.
I just froze up, I was fucking
petrified. I couldn’t move. I
didn’t know what to do, I was just a
little kid.
(MORE)
11/26/14 49.

PATRICK MCSORLEY (CONT'D)
(then)
I never even touched my freakin’ ice
cream, it just melted down my arm.

MIKE
Did you see him again after that?

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Yeah.

GARABEDIAN
Alright, it’s good. Let’s stop
there for now...

McSorley stares down at his hands. Trembling. Then he
itches his arm. This time, Mike notes the HEROIN TRACKS.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense scene at Cafe Francesca, Joe Crowley shares his painful past with Father Shanley, a priest who introduced him to a world of sexuality before later molesting him. As Joe struggles to articulate his trauma, Sacha pushes for clarity, emphasizing the need for explicit language to address the gravity of the abuse. The emotional weight of the conversation leads Joe to suggest they take their coffees to go, reflecting his desire to escape the discomfort of the topic.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Heavy subject matter
  • Emotional intensity may be overwhelming for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, shedding light on the dark realities of abuse survivors. It effectively conveys the weight of the characters' experiences and the difficulty of sharing such traumatic events.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of delving into the traumatic experiences of abuse survivors is crucial in highlighting the emotional toll and challenges they face in sharing their stories.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in this scene focuses on revealing the survivors' traumatic experiences, adding depth to the investigation and shedding light on the emotional impact of abuse.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to discussing sensitive topics like abuse and sexuality, with authentic character reactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly the survivors sharing their stories, are portrayed with depth and emotion, allowing the audience to connect with their experiences.

Character Changes: 8

The survivors sharing their stories undergo emotional changes as they recount their traumatic experiences, revealing their resilience and strength.

Internal Goal: 8

Joe's internal goal in this scene is to confront and share his traumatic experience with Sacha, revealing his struggles with his sexuality and the abuse he faced.

External Goal: 7

The external goal for Joe is to recount his experience with Father Shanley to Sacha, seeking understanding and validation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene stems from the survivors' traumatic experiences and the emotional struggle to share their stories, adding depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Joe confronts his past trauma and struggles to share his story.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the survivors' emotional trauma and the importance of uncovering the truth behind the abuse cases.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the investigation into abuse cases and highlighting the emotional impact on survivors, adding complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the raw and unexpected revelations made by Joe about his past.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the societal norms and expectations regarding sexuality and abuse, challenging Joe's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the survivors' experiences and highlighting the trauma they have endured.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is intense and emotional, effectively conveying the survivors' experiences and the challenges they face in sharing their stories.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional content and the unfolding of a personal story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a natural flow of conversation, effectively building tension and emotional depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and gravity of Joe Crowley's experiences, but it could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. While Joe's recounting of events is impactful, the dialogue could be enhanced with more internal conflict or reflection from Joe, allowing the audience to connect more profoundly with his trauma.
  • Sacha's role as the interviewer is crucial, yet her responses could be more varied to reflect her emotional engagement. Instead of simply prompting Joe for details, she could express her own reactions to his story, which would add layers to their interaction and emphasize the weight of what Joe is sharing.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in Joe's recounting of his experiences. Slowing down the dialogue and allowing for pauses could create a more contemplative atmosphere, giving the audience time to absorb the gravity of the subject matter.
  • The transition from Joe's detailed recollection to the suggestion of taking the coffees to go feels abrupt. This shift could be better integrated to maintain the emotional flow of the scene. Perhaps Joe could express discomfort or a desire to escape the conversation before suggesting to leave, which would enhance the realism of his reaction.
  • The use of explicit language is mentioned as important, but the scene could further explore the implications of this. Sacha's insistence on using clear language could be expanded to include a discussion about the societal tendency to sanitize such topics, adding depth to the dialogue and reinforcing the theme of transparency in reporting.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or reflective dialogue for Joe to convey his emotional state during the recollection of his experiences. This could help the audience empathize with his trauma more deeply.
  • Enhance Sacha's character by incorporating her emotional reactions to Joe's story, which would create a more dynamic interaction and highlight the impact of Joe's experiences on both characters.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for pauses and moments of reflection, giving the audience time to process the weight of the conversation.
  • Integrate the suggestion to take the coffees to go more smoothly by having Joe express discomfort or a desire to change the subject before making the suggestion, maintaining the emotional flow.
  • Expand on Sacha's insistence on using explicit language by including a brief discussion about the societal implications of sanitizing such topics, reinforcing the importance of transparency in journalism.



Scene 21 -  Reflections in the Park
60 EXT. TITUS SPARROW PARK, SOUTH END - DAY 60

Sacha and Crowley walk through Peter’s Park. We can see the
Cathedral in the distance. Crowley’s a little less nervous.

JOE CROWLEY
He said it was a way to make me more
comfortable with my body.

SACHA
And what happened next.

JOE CROWLEY
...he took off his clothes and said
I’ve been depressed, maybe you can
cheer me up and give me a blow job.
Classy guy.

SACHA
And did you?

JOE CROWLEY
Yeah. I know what you must be
thinking, why I would ever do that
with some creepy guy thirty years
older than me. But you have to
understand, this was the first time
in my life that someone told me it
was okay to be gay. And he was a
priest.

SACHA
So you had oral sex. Did you have
intercourse as well?
11/26/14 50.


JOE CROWLEY
Yes. Not then, but later. It
really messed me up. I’m sober now
but that was the beginning of it
all. It’s very confusing, you know,
to be introduced to sex like that
and then to be attracted to men...

Joe tears up a bit. He stops, wipes his eyes.

JOE CROWLEY (CONT’D)
I’m sorry, I knew I was gonna SACHA
do this. I’m sorry. Don’t be sorry. It’s okay,
Joe. It’s okay.

Joe notices the kids on the church playground.

JOE CROWLEY (CONT’D)
And of course there’s a church right
here. And a playground.

Joe laughs nervously.

SACHA
Joe, did you ever tell anyone?

JOE CROWLEY
Like who, a priest?

61 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT 61

It’s dark now. Mike’s writing up some notes as McSorley puts
on his coat. Mike stands as McSorley heads for the door.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Can I use your phone?

GARABEDIAN
Yeah, you know where it is.

McSorley nods in thanks. Then turns to Mike.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
You can use my name if you want.

MIKE
Thanks, Patrick.

PATRICK MCSORLEY
Don’t thank me, just get that
asshole, will you?

He exits. Mike lets out a breath. It’s a lot, even for him.
11/26/14 51.


GARABEDIAN
He’s one of the lucky ones.
(off Mike’s look)
He’s still alive.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Peter's Park, Sacha and Crowley engage in a heartfelt conversation about Crowley's past sexual experiences with a priest. As Crowley shares his emotional turmoil and confusion regarding his sexuality, he grapples with the irony of being near a church and playground. Sacha offers support, encouraging Crowley to express his feelings, but the scene ends with Crowley questioning whether he could have confided in anyone about his struggles, leaving his internal conflict unresolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Raw honesty in storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Limited impact on main plot progression
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is emotionally charged, delving into a sensitive and impactful topic with depth and complexity. The dialogue and character interactions are compelling, drawing the audience into the survivor's story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the survivor's past abuse by a priest in a candid and raw manner is powerful and thought-provoking. It sheds light on the lasting effects of such trauma and the complexities of coming to terms with it.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the survivor's narrative, deepening the understanding of their experiences and the emotional journey they have been through. It adds depth to the overall story arc.

Originality: 9

The scene tackles a sensitive topic of sexual abuse and confusion around sexuality in a candid and honest manner. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, especially the survivor of abuse, are well-developed and portrayed with depth and authenticity. Their emotional struggles and inner conflicts are palpable, making them highly engaging.

Character Changes: 8

The survivor undergoes a significant emotional journey in the scene, opening up about their past trauma and confronting the impact it has had on their life. This vulnerability and honesty mark a pivotal moment of change for the character.

Internal Goal: 8

Joe Crowley's internal goal is to come to terms with his past trauma and confusion regarding his sexuality. He seeks understanding and acceptance from Sacha.

External Goal: 6

Joe Crowley's external goal is to share his story and seek validation and support from Sacha.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene's conflict lies in the survivor's internal struggles, emotional turmoil, and the difficult revelations they share. It creates a sense of tension and emotional weight, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is more internal and emotional, as Joe grapples with his past experiences and societal expectations.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are high on an emotional level, as the survivor bravely shares their traumatic experiences and confronts the lasting impact of abuse. It highlights the personal and psychological stakes involved in the narrative.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene does not significantly move the main investigative plot forward, it adds depth and emotional resonance to the narrative by exploring the survivor's story and shedding light on the broader themes of abuse and trauma.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional revelations and the unexpected honesty of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in the societal norms and religious beliefs that clash with Joe's personal experiences and struggles with his sexuality. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, empathy, and reflection in the audience. The survivor's story is deeply moving and resonates on a profound emotional level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is poignant and impactful, effectively conveying the survivor's emotional turmoil and the complexity of their experiences. It adds depth to the character interactions and enhances the emotional resonance of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, sensitive subject matter, and the vulnerability of the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene allows for emotional beats to land effectively, building tension and empathy for the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a conversational structure that allows for a deep exploration of the characters' emotions and experiences.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Joe Crowley's experiences, allowing the audience to empathize with his trauma. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety in conveying the gravity of the situation. While the explicit language is necessary to address the seriousness of the abuse, some lines feel overly direct and could be softened to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The setting of Peter's Park, with the Cathedral in the distance, serves as a poignant backdrop that contrasts the innocence of childhood (the playground) with the darkness of Joe's experiences. However, the scene could further explore this juxtaposition through visual storytelling, perhaps by incorporating more sensory details or reactions from passersby to emphasize the irony of the location.
  • Joe's emotional breakdown is a powerful moment, but the transition into it feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual build-up to his tears could enhance the authenticity of his emotional journey. Consider adding a moment of silence or a physical gesture that signifies his internal struggle before he breaks down.
  • Sacha's role as a supportive figure is crucial, but her responses could be more varied to reflect her emotional engagement. Instead of consistently prompting Joe with questions, she could share her own reactions or reflections, creating a more dynamic interaction that deepens their connection.
  • The dialogue about Joe's experiences with the priest is impactful, but it risks sensationalizing the trauma. Striking a balance between honesty and sensitivity is essential. Consider incorporating more introspective moments where Joe reflects on how these experiences shaped his identity, rather than solely recounting events.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more sensory details in the setting to enhance the emotional atmosphere, such as the sounds of children playing or the visual contrast between the park and the Cathedral.
  • Gradually build up to Joe's emotional breakdown by incorporating physical cues or moments of hesitation before he tears up, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his emotions more profoundly.
  • Vary Sacha's responses to Joe's revelations, allowing her to express empathy or share her own thoughts, which can create a more engaging dialogue and deepen their relationship.
  • Consider softening some of the explicit language while maintaining the gravity of the subject matter, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of Joe's trauma.
  • Incorporate moments of introspection for Joe, where he reflects on the long-term effects of his experiences, providing a deeper understanding of his emotional state and journey.



Scene 22 -  A Call for Justice
61A INT. KITCHEN, SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S APARTMENT - DAY 61A

Sacha sits at the table looking through her notes. Her
grandmother is at the stove cooking.

Sacha notices something in her notes, stands and takes out
her cell. She walks out while she dials.

SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER
Would you like a cup of tea, Sacha?

SACHA
I’m fine, Nana. Thanks.

Sacha walks into --

61B INT. DINING ROOM, SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
61B

Sacha on her phone, looking over her notes.

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
Hello?

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Hi Joe, it’s Sacha Pfeiffer.

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
Hi Sacha. How are you?

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
I’m good, thanks. Listen, Joe,
there’s one thing that I wanted to
follow up on. You talked to Phil
Saviano about all this, right?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
Yeah. I went to a couple SNAP
meetings.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Right. And did Phil ever suggest
doing anything about it?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
No. The meetings weren’t really
about that. I mean, a couple of
them had gone to a lawyer but I
didn’t think it was worth it.
11/26/14 52.


SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Why not?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
There were so many forms to fill
out, it was overwhelming. And he
said he could get only get me a
small settlement.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Who said that?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
The lawyer.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
So you did go to see a lawyer?

Sacha takes out her pen, starts taking notes.

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
Yeah, but I didn’t end up using him,
so I didn’t think it was important.
I’m sorry. I’m not trying to hide
anything.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
No, I know, Joe. Do you remember
his name? The lawyer?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
No. But maybe Phil would know. The
guy was on TV a lot during the
Porter case. He was handsome.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Was it Eric MacLeish?

JOE CROWLEY (OVER THE PHONE)
Yeah, that’s it. MacLeish. I
thought he was very handsome.

Off Sacha --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In her grandmother's kitchen, Sacha reviews her notes and steps outside to call Joe Crowley about legal options for abuse victims. During the tense conversation, Joe shares his overwhelming experience with SNAP meetings and mentions a lawyer named Eric MacLeish, whom he found attractive. Sacha diligently takes notes, determined to gather crucial information despite Joe's hesitance, as the scene captures the serious atmosphere of her investigation.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of Joe Crowley's story
  • Sacha's empathetic investigative approach
  • Revealing legal challenges faced by abuse survivors
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more dynamic
  • Conflict could be heightened for increased tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight and investigative nature of the story, providing crucial information while maintaining a reflective tone. However, it could benefit from more dynamic dialogue and heightened conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the legal hurdles faced by abuse survivors within the Catholic Church is compelling and adds depth to the overall narrative. It sheds light on the complexities of seeking justice in such cases.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing new information about legal proceedings related to abuse cases, deepening the investigation and setting the stage for further developments. However, it could benefit from more tension and urgency.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigation genre by emphasizing the emotional impact of seeking justice. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Sacha's determination and empathy shine through in her interactions with Joe Crowley, showcasing her commitment to uncovering the truth. Joe Crowley's emotional vulnerability adds depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Sacha's understanding of the legal challenges faced by abuse survivors deepens, influencing her investigative approach. Joe Crowley's emotional journey reveals his vulnerability and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

Sacha's internal goal in this scene is to gather information about a potential legal action related to the Porter case. This reflects her deeper need for justice and closure for the victims.

External Goal: 7

Sacha's external goal is to follow up on information about a lawyer involved in the Porter case. This reflects the immediate challenge of obtaining crucial details for her investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the legal barriers and emotional struggles of abuse survivors. While there is tension in Joe Crowley's story, it could be heightened to increase engagement.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong as Joe's reluctance and lack of information pose challenges for Sacha's investigation. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the scene delves into the legal complexities and emotional impact of abuse cases within the Catholic Church, highlighting the importance of seeking justice for survivors.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information about legal proceedings and survivor experiences, advancing the investigation and setting the stage for further revelations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of Joe's unexpected revelations and Sacha's evolving strategy to gather information. The audience is kept on edge about the outcome of her investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of pursuing legal action for victims of abuse. Joe's reluctance due to the complexity of the process challenges Sacha's belief in seeking justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes empathy and reflection through Joe Crowley's emotional recounting of his experiences, resonating with the audience and highlighting the gravity of the subject matter.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys important information about legal processes and survivor experiences. However, it could be more dynamic and engaging to enhance the scene's impact.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the suspenseful dialogue and the gradual reveal of crucial information. The emotional stakes keep the audience invested in Sacha's investigation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension through the phone conversation and Sacha's note-taking. It maintains a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to industry standards with proper scene headings and character cues. It effectively conveys the flow of the conversation.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with seamless transitions between locations and characters. It maintains the expected format for a dialogue-driven investigative scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of Sacha's investigation, showcasing her determination to gather information. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth to reflect the gravity of the subject matter. While Sacha's professionalism is evident, incorporating her emotional stakes or personal reflections could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The transition between the kitchen and dining room is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the scene and provide a clearer visual context for the audience. Consider adding a brief description of the environment in the dining room to ground the viewer.
  • Joe's dialogue, while informative, feels somewhat flat and could be more engaging. His nervousness and the weight of his past experiences should be more palpable in his speech. Adding hesitations or emotional reactions could make his character more relatable and the conversation more dynamic.
  • The scene lacks a strong visual element that could enhance the emotional weight of the conversation. For instance, showing Sacha's physical reactions or the environment's atmosphere could help convey the tension and seriousness of the topic being discussed.
  • The ending of the scene feels a bit abrupt. While it effectively sets up the next steps in Sacha's investigation, it could benefit from a more reflective moment for Sacha, perhaps indicating her thoughts on Joe's revelations or the implications of what she has learned.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more emotional depth into Sacha's dialogue to reflect her personal investment in the investigation. This could involve her expressing concern for Joe or her frustration with the legal process.
  • Enhance the transition between the kitchen and dining room by adding a brief description of the dining room's atmosphere or Sacha's actions as she moves from one space to another.
  • Add more emotional nuance to Joe's dialogue. Consider including pauses, stutters, or emotional reactions that reflect his discomfort discussing his past, making the conversation feel more authentic.
  • Include visual elements that emphasize the emotional stakes of the conversation, such as Sacha's body language or the setting's ambiance, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Consider ending the scene with a moment of reflection for Sacha, perhaps showing her processing the information she has just received, which would add depth and set the stage for her next actions.



Scene 23 -  Uncovering Truths
62AA INT. GLOBE, CANTEEN - NIGHT 62AA

Robby getting a coffee, paying. Matt enters.

MATT
Hey.

ROBBY
Hey.
11/26/14 53.


Matt heads for the Peanut M&Ms as Robby pays.

MATT
I was just in the newsroom, Judge
Sweeney set a date for the hearing.

ROBBY
When?

MATT
Two weeks. Canellos started a pool.
Ten bucks to get in.

ROBBY
Anyone picking the Globe?

MATT
He’s only taking bets on how fast
Sweeney rules against us.

Robby’s phone rings.

ROBBY
Huh.

He heads into the hall --

62A INT. GLOBE - LATER 62A

Robby picks up.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Robby.

SACHA (OVER THE PHONE)
Hi, it’s me. Did you get my message?

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
I did. Looks like Father Shanley
could be our fourth priest.

SACHA (OVER THE PHONE)
I think he is.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Did you follow up on MacLeish?

SACHA (OVER THE PHONE)
I just talked to Phil. He said
MacLeish dealt with a number of
these cases.
11/26/14 54.


62B INT. NANA’S HOUSE - LATER 62B

Sacha is alone at the dining room table.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Guess he forgot to mention that.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
I’m gonna go to the courthouse
tomorrow to see if I can find any
cases he settled against the church.

ROBBY (OVER THE PHONE)
Call me after you do. Good work.

Robby hangs up. Sacha sits there, spent, the day and the
story LANDING on her. Hard.

63 INT. GLOBE, BEN’S OFFICE - NIGHT 63

Ben packs up. A KNOCK. He turns, finds Robby with his bag.

ROBBY
You wanted to chat?

BEN
I’m late for a dinner. Walk me out.

64 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS 64

Ben and Robby walk. Robby sees Marty in his office, working.

ROBBY
Does he ever go home?

BEN
Apparently not. I got guys who
won’t leave ‘til he does, he’s
wearing out the goddamn newsroom.

Robby smiles.

BEN (CONT’D)
Where are we on Geoghan?

ROBBY
Following up with more victims. I
want to expand the investigation.

BEN
Why?
11/26/14 55.


ROBBY
We got a fourth priest. There might
be as many as thirteen.

BEN
Thirteen? Who’s your source?

ROBBY
Phil Saviano.

Ben stops.

BEN
Christ, Robby, I told Mike --

ROBBY
I know. I think Saviano might be
legit, Ben.

BEN
You wanna elaborate on that?

ROBBY
No. Not yet. Just feels like this
is stacking up. That’s my gut.

Robby doesn’t embellish. The case is turning.

BEN
Okay.

ROBBY
Good. Thanks.

Robby walks off. Ben watches him go... then heads out --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In the Globe's canteen, Robby learns from Matt about a hearing date set by Judge Sweeney and a betting pool initiated by Canellos. After a phone call with Sacha regarding Father Shanley and MacLeish's past cases, Robby meets Ben to discuss the investigation into Geoghan and the potential for more victims. Despite Ben's skepticism, Robby remains determined to follow his instincts about the case's significance, highlighting the tension and seriousness surrounding their investigation.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some predictable plot points

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and sets the stage for further revelations in the investigation. The dialogue is sharp and keeps the audience engaged, while the character dynamics add depth to the unfolding story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth in the face of powerful institutions is compelling and well-realized in this scene. The complexities of the subject matter are handled with nuance and depth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing new leads, conflicts, and character dynamics that drive the narrative forward. The stakes are raised as the investigation deepens.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the personal and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear, adding layers to the unfolding story. The interactions between the characters reveal their individual strengths and vulnerabilities.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in character dynamics and perspectives, the scene primarily focuses on advancing the investigation rather than deep character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal in this scene is to uncover more information about the priest abuse scandal and expand the investigation. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and truth.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to follow up with more victims and expand the investigation into the priest abuse scandal. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in uncovering the truth and seeking justice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from the struggle to uncover the truth about abuse cases to the tension between characters with differing perspectives. These conflicts drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and ethical dilemmas that challenge the characters' decisions and actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters grapple with the implications of their investigation and the potential impact on powerful institutions. The risks and consequences are palpable.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new leads, conflicts, and revelations that propel the investigation into new territory. It sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the investigation plot and the conflicting viewpoints of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between uncovering the truth and protecting sources. Robby's belief in the legitimacy of his source, Phil Saviano, challenges Ben's caution and skepticism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from tension and intrigue to empathy for the survivors of abuse. The emotional impact adds depth to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, realistic, and serves to deepen character relationships and drive the plot forward. It effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the investigation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tense atmosphere, realistic dialogue, and the unfolding investigation plot.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and progression of the investigation plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and anticipation regarding the investigation into the church, particularly with the mention of Judge Sweeney setting a date for the hearing. This adds a sense of urgency to the narrative, which is crucial for maintaining audience engagement.
  • The dialogue between Robby and Matt is natural and flows well, capturing the camaraderie and shared concerns of the characters. However, the humor regarding the betting pool could be enhanced to provide a more vivid contrast to the serious subject matter they are dealing with.
  • Sacha's phone call adds depth to her character, showing her dedication and the emotional toll the investigation is taking on her. However, the transition between her conversation and Robby's interaction could be smoother to maintain narrative continuity.
  • The scene shifts between locations (the canteen, Sacha's house, and Ben's office) effectively, but the transitions could be more visually distinct to help the audience follow the changes in setting without confusion.
  • Robby's instinct about the investigation stacking up is a strong moment, but it could benefit from a bit more context or foreshadowing earlier in the script to make this gut feeling feel more earned and impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or emotional weight after the phone call with Sacha, perhaps showing Robby's reaction to the gravity of the information discussed. This could deepen the audience's connection to the characters' struggles.
  • Enhance the humor in the dialogue about the betting pool to provide a more pronounced contrast to the serious themes of the investigation. This could help balance the tone and keep the audience engaged.
  • Clarify the transitions between scenes by using visual cues or brief establishing shots that indicate the change in location, helping the audience to follow the narrative flow more easily.
  • Incorporate a line or two that hints at the potential consequences of expanding the investigation, which could heighten the stakes and create more tension as the characters navigate their next steps.
  • Consider expanding on Robby's gut feeling about the investigation stacking up by including a specific detail or anecdote that supports his intuition, making it feel more grounded and credible.



Scene 24 -  Uncovering the Truth
65 INT. MIKE’S APARTMENT, EAST BOSTON - NIGHT 65

Mike opens the fridge when his phone RINGS. He picks up.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Hello.

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
Mr. Rezendes?

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah. Who’s this?

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
It’s Richard Sipe.
11/26/14 56.


MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Oh, hey Richard, thanks for calling.
Phil Saviano gave me your name, can
I ask you a few questions?

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
Of course.

Mike reaches for his bag, pulls out his pad and a pen.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Great. So Phil said you worked at
one of the church’s treatment
centers in Baltimore...

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
Yes, that’s right. The Seton
Psychiatric Institute. It was run
by the Daughters of Charity.

MIKE
And when was that, Richard?

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
Well, I started my psychotherapy
fellowship there in 1965 and I was
there for five years, but I spent
the next thirty studying abusive
priests and their victims.

MIKE
Really? That’s been your sole
focus?

SIPE
Look, Mike, the church wants us to
believe that it’s just a few bad
apples, but it’s a much bigger
problem than that.

MIKE
How much bigger?

SIPE
Well, based on the research, I would
classify it as a recognizable
psychiatric phenomenon.

As Mike starts scribbling, sucked back in...

MIKE
That’s big.
11/26/14 57.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a serious and investigative phone call at his East Boston apartment, Mike speaks with Richard Sipe, a seasoned expert on the issue of abusive priests. Sipe shares his extensive background and reveals that the problem is far more widespread than isolated incidents, highlighting the systemic nature of abuse within the church. As Mike takes notes, the gravity of Sipe's revelations deepens his commitment to uncovering the truth, setting the stage for further investigation.
Strengths
  • Informative dialogue
  • Engaging exploration of the investigation
  • Revealing crucial background information
Weaknesses
  • Lack of direct conflict
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, informative, and sets the stage for further revelations in the investigation. It is engaging and thought-provoking, providing crucial information about the scope of the abuse within the church.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of delving into the research of an expert on abusive priests adds depth and credibility to the investigation. It highlights the systemic nature of the abuse and sets the stage for further exploration.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing new information and expanding the scope of the investigation. It adds layers to the story and sets up future conflicts and revelations.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the topic of church abuse by focusing on the conversation between Mike and Richard Sipe. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are engaging and serve the purpose of advancing the investigation. Mike's curiosity and Richard Sipe's expertise create a dynamic interaction that drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, the information provided by Richard Sipe may lead to a shift in perspective for the characters involved in the investigation.

Internal Goal: 8

Mike's internal goal in this scene is to gather information about abusive priests and their victims. This reflects his deeper need to uncover the truth and expose the church's wrongdoing.

External Goal: 7

Mike's external goal in this scene is to conduct an interview with Richard Sipe and gather information for his investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in uncovering the truth about the church's cover-up.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is no direct conflict in the scene, there is an underlying tension surrounding the revelations about the extent of the abuse within the church.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the conflicting viewpoints of Mike and Richard Sipe, creating a sense of uncertainty and challenge for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of uncovering the truth behind the church abuse scandal are emphasized in this scene, as the characters delve deeper into the research and implications of the abuse.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information and expanding the scope of the investigation. It sets the stage for future developments and revelations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the church's cover-up and the conflicting viewpoints presented by the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the church's narrative of 'a few bad apples' and Richard Sipe's assertion that it is a much bigger problem. This challenges Mike's beliefs about the church and its actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of concern and curiosity in the audience, as the gravity of the church abuse scandal is revealed through Richard Sipe's insights.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is informative, engaging, and reveals crucial details about the church abuse scandal. It effectively conveys the seriousness of the subject matter and the expertise of the characters involved.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense conversation between Mike and Richard Sipe, which keeps the audience invested in the unfolding story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through the dialogue-driven interaction between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is standard for a screenplay, with clear character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-driven scene in a drama screenplay, with clear back-and-forth between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of urgency and importance as Mike engages with Richard Sipe, a key character who can provide crucial insights into the abuse scandal. The dialogue is straightforward and serves to convey essential information without unnecessary embellishments, which is fitting for the investigative tone of the screenplay.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the emotional weight of the conversation. Currently, it relies heavily on dialogue, which may lead to a lack of visual engagement for the audience. Incorporating Mike's physical reactions, such as his expressions or movements, could help convey his emotional state and the gravity of the information being discussed.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could be tightened further. For instance, the exchange about Sipe's background could be streamlined to maintain momentum. While it's important to establish Sipe's credibility, the details about his fellowship and years of study could be condensed to keep the focus on the implications of his findings.
  • The dialogue is informative, but it lacks a sense of dramatic tension. Adding a moment of hesitation or a more emotional response from Mike could heighten the stakes of the conversation. For example, Mike could express disbelief or concern about the implications of Sipe's claims, which would make the audience feel the weight of the revelations more acutely.
  • Lastly, the scene ends somewhat abruptly after Sipe's statement about the issue being a 'recognizable psychiatric phenomenon.' A stronger closing line or a moment of reflection from Mike could provide a more impactful conclusion, emphasizing the significance of the information and setting the stage for the next developments in the investigation.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual cues to reflect Mike's emotional state during the phone call, such as his facial expressions or body language, to enhance audience engagement.
  • Streamline the dialogue regarding Sipe's background to maintain pacing while still establishing his credibility.
  • Introduce a moment of dramatic tension by having Mike react emotionally to Sipe's claims, which would heighten the stakes of the conversation.
  • Consider adding a stronger closing line or moment of reflection for Mike at the end of the scene to emphasize the significance of Sipe's revelations and create a more impactful conclusion.
  • Explore the use of sound design or background elements in Mike's apartment to create a more immersive atmosphere during the phone call, reflecting the gravity of the conversation.



Scene 25 -  Secrets and Investigations
66 INT. GLOBE, CAFETERIA - LATE MORNING 66

Eileen reads the paper, drinks a diet coke. Kurkjian sits
nearby, working on a story and some eggs. Matt joins.

MATT
Hey Mac, if I needed historical data
on a priest, parishes he’d been
assigned to, where would I find it?

EILEEN
For Geoghan? It’s all in the clips.
Lisa has the source material.

MATT
Yeah, what if it was another priest?
One that hadn’t been in the papers.

EILEEN
You’re looking at another priest?

KURKJIAN
Who’re you looking at?

Kurkjian looks over. Matt tries to focus on Eileen.

MATT
Any ideas?

EILEEN
Come on Matt, you’re not going to
tell me?

Matt stares at her. Then pulls back.

MATT
I gotta get to a meeting. Thanks
Mac.

Matt beats a hasty retreat. Eileen and Kurkjian trade a
look. Huh.

67 INT. GLOBE, LIBRARY - LATER 67

A HAND pulls a BOOK off a reference shelf. FIND LISA TUITE,
handing Matt the 2001 CATHOLIC CHURCH DIRECTORY.

LISA TUITE
The Archdiocese puts out an annual
directory, every priest and parish.

MATT
This is great. Do these go back any
further than ‘98?
11/26/14 58.


LISA TUITE
Oh yeah. They go back to the 80’s
in the Mez. Beyond that, you gotta
go to the BPL.

MATT
In the Mez. Thanks, Lisa.

68 INT. GLOBE, LONG HALLWAY - DAY 68

Robby and Mike walk down the hall. Mike debriefs him, a
little manic, not unaffected by what he’s picked up.

MIKE
He said they all target the same
kinda kid. Low income family,
absentee father, broken home...

They walk into --

69 INT. GLOBE, PRESSES - CONTINUOUS 69

It’s early. The presses are relatively quiet.

MIKE
And guys like Geoghan go after boys
not cause they prefer them, but
cause they’re more ashamed, less
likely to talk. These guys are
predators, Robby. Sipe says he saw
dozens of them at Seton in the 60’s.
He called it a “a phenomenon.”

ROBBY
Why didn’t he go public?

MIKE
He did, but the church has made a
huge effort to discredit him. Smear
campaigns, public statements by
prominent bishops. It’s just like
Saviano said. And Garabedian.

ROBBY
You getting anywhere with him?

MIKE
More victims.

ROBBY
You can’t empty his pockets?
11/26/14 59.


MIKE
I’ll get him. I just need more
time.

ROBBY
Come on, Mike, you gotta get him.

MIKE
I’ll get him, I’ll get him.

They open a door, walk into --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In the Globe's cafeteria, Eileen reads the paper while Kurkjian works on a story. Matt approaches them, seeking historical data on a priest, hinting at a secretive investigation. Eileen directs him to Lisa for the information. Later, in the library, Lisa provides Matt with the 2001 Catholic Church Directory and mentions older directories at the Boston Public Library. Meanwhile, Robby and Mike discuss predator targeting patterns, emphasizing the need for more evidence against the church's discrediting tactics. The scene is marked by tension and urgency as Matt deflects questions and Mike feels pressured to gather information.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Realistic portrayal of investigative journalism
  • Emotional depth of the characters
Weaknesses
  • Limited character interactions
  • Lack of visual variety in settings

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the investigative nature of the story, the emotional weight of the subject matter, and the determination of the characters. It sets up important plot points and progresses the story while maintaining a serious and intense tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigative journalism and uncovering the truth about abuse within the Church is compelling and well-executed in this scene. It sets up important themes and conflicts that drive the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the investigation into the priest and building suspense. It introduces new information, raises questions, and sets up future developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the Catholic Church scandal and investigative journalism, with authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with their motivations, emotions, and conflicts clearly portrayed. Their interactions reveal their dedication to the investigation and the impact of the subject matter on them.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and motivations throughout the scene, influenced by the information they uncover and the challenges they face. These changes contribute to their development and the progression of the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover information about a priest that has not been in the papers, reflecting a desire for truth and justice.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to gather historical data on priests and uncover information about potential abuse cases.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains a high level of conflict, both internal and external, as the characters grapple with the weight of the information they uncover and the challenges they face in pursuing the truth.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that keep the audience engaged and uncertain about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The scene establishes high stakes as the characters delve deeper into the investigation, risking their reputations, relationships, and safety in pursuit of the truth about abuse within the Church.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new leads, deepening the investigation, and setting up future developments. It keeps the audience engaged and invested in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the investigation and the characters' reactions to new information.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth in the face of powerful institutions like the Catholic Church.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of concern, determination, and curiosity in the audience. The subject matter and the characters' reactions contribute to the emotional depth of the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and realistic, capturing the urgency and seriousness of the investigation. It conveys important information while also revealing the personalities of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, realistic dialogue, and the sense of urgency in uncovering information.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest in the investigation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy investigative journalism scene, with a clear progression of information and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and investigative nature of the newsroom, but it could benefit from more emotional depth. The dialogue feels somewhat functional and lacks the tension that could elevate the stakes of the investigation. Adding more internal conflict or urgency in the characters' voices could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The transitions between locations (cafeteria, library, hallway, presses) are somewhat abrupt. While it reflects the fast-paced environment of a newsroom, smoother transitions or a more cohesive narrative thread connecting these locations could help maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The dialogue, while informative, sometimes feels expository. For instance, when Eileen and Kurkjian inquire about Matt's interest in another priest, it could be more subtle. Instead of directly asking, they could express concern or curiosity in a way that feels more organic to their characters.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc. While it presents information about the investigation, it doesn't show how this information affects the characters personally. Incorporating moments of reflection or emotional responses to the gravity of their findings could deepen the audience's connection to the characters and the story.
  • The pacing is quick, which is appropriate for a newsroom setting, but it may leave the audience feeling rushed. Allowing for brief pauses or moments of silence after significant revelations could give the audience time to absorb the weight of the information being discussed.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Matt reflects on the implications of his investigation, perhaps showing a flash of concern or doubt about the impact of uncovering such sensitive information.
  • Introduce a moment of tension or conflict between characters, such as differing opinions on how to approach the investigation or the ethical implications of their work, to create more dramatic stakes.
  • Enhance the dialogue by incorporating more subtext. Characters could express their feelings about the investigation indirectly, allowing the audience to infer their emotional states rather than stating them outright.
  • Use visual storytelling to convey the atmosphere of the newsroom. For example, describe the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria or the quiet intensity of the library to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a moment of revelation that propels the story forward, such as a new lead or a shocking piece of information that raises the stakes for the characters.



Scene 26 -  Unearthing Secrets
70 INT. GLOBE, BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS 70

A dank basement, low fluorescents and rows of old books on
cheap tin bookshelves. Robby and Mike react to the smell.

MIKE
Jeez, what the hell is that smell?

MATT (O.C.)
There’s a dead rat in the corner.

Mike and Robby find Matt beside a HUGE STACK OF BOOKS.

ROBBY
What do we got?

MATT
Church directories. It’s every
priest in Massachusetts, what parish
they’re assigned to...

MIKE
These are official?

Mike and Robby grab directories, flipping through.

MATT
Yeah. I figured they could help us
track down the priests Saviano
mentioned, maybe find more victims.

ROBBY
(reads, squinting)
Can we turn on some more lights?

MATT
I couldn’t find the switch. You
wanna borrow my glasses?

ROBBY
No, I’m good.
11/26/14 60.


MIKE
(off a directory)
1983, John Geoghan... St. Brendan’s
in Dorchester. So we can see where
any priest was in any given year.

MATT
(flips through another)
Exactly. I got him here at... huh.

ROBBY
What?

MATT
1980, the year he was pulled from
JP. It says he’s on sick leave.

MIKE
Come on. It actually says that?

Matt shows Mike. Robby urgently searches the directories.

ROBBY
Where’s 1991?

Robby finds the 1991 Directory and opens it. He searches...

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Barrett... Barrett... Liam Barrett..
I can’t read this. Can you look up
Liam Barrett?
(handing it to Mike)
1991’s the year they pulled him out
of Charlestown.

MIKE
(reading)
Barrett, Liam. Sick leave.

He shows them. We see the designation. SICK LEAVE.

MIKE (CONT’D)
It’s an official designation.

ROBBY
Let’s get these upstairs. And Matt,
let’s check the priests Saviano gave
us.

They start to collect the directories. Robby’s cell RINGS.

ROBBY (INTO THE PHONE) (CONT’D)
Robby.
11/26/14 61.


SACHA (OVER THE PHONE)
Hey, I’m down at the courthouse.

71 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, RECORDS ROOM - DAY 71

Sacha makes notes on a pad, a couple of files to one side.

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
Something’s not right here.

A COURT CLERK (MARK) walks over.

COURT CLERK (MARK)
There’s nothing on Shanley either,
Sacha.

SACHA
Okay, thanks.
(into phone)
We need to talk to MacLeish again.

ROBBY (OVER THE PHONE)
Really. Why?

SACHA (INTO PHONE)
There’s nothing here. There aren’t
any records...
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a dimly lit basement, Robby, Mike, and Matt sift through old church directories, uncovering troubling records of priests John Geoghan and Liam Barrett, who were on 'sick leave' during critical years, hinting at potential cover-ups. As they piece together the timeline, Robby receives a call from Sacha at the courthouse, who reports missing records related to their investigation, intensifying their urgency to uncover the truth.
Strengths
  • Effective plot advancement
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing new element introduced
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, introduces new crucial information, and advances the plot effectively. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important details about the investigation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using official church directories to track down priests involved in abuse cases is innovative and adds a new dimension to the investigation, increasing the stakes for the team.

Plot: 9

The plot is significantly advanced in this scene as the team uncovers crucial information that could lead to more evidence and victims. It sets up the next steps in the investigation effectively.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative genre by focusing on the discovery of official documents and the characters' reactions to the information they uncover. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are focused on the task at hand, with each playing a specific role in the discovery of the directories. Their interactions reveal their dedication to the investigation.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on the discovery of new information rather than personal growth or development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover information about the priests mentioned by Saviano and potentially find more victims. This reflects their deeper need for justice and truth in the investigation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to track down the priests mentioned by Saviano and gather evidence to support their investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in uncovering the truth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a sense of urgency and tension in the scene, the conflict is more internal as the team grapples with the implications of the new information they have discovered.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, such as the lack of records and potential cover-up, creates a sense of challenge and uncertainty for the characters, adding to the suspense.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as the team uncovers crucial information that could have far-reaching implications for their investigation and the victims involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key element that will drive the investigation and potentially lead to more revelations and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected discoveries and revelations made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between the characters' pursuit of justice and the potential cover-up of information related to the priests. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the integrity of the system and the importance of transparency in their investigation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a moderate emotional response from the audience, particularly as the team realizes the significance of the directories in their investigation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is informative and engaging, driving the scene forward and providing key information about the investigation. It showcases the team's determination and commitment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the suspenseful atmosphere, the characters' dynamic interactions, and the important information they uncover.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' discoveries.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that advances the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense and investigative atmosphere, which is crucial for the unfolding narrative. The dank basement setting and the characters' reactions to the smell create a vivid sensory experience that immerses the audience in the environment.
  • The dialogue is natural and reflects the camaraderie and urgency among the characters. The banter about the dead rat and the glasses adds a touch of humor, which helps to lighten the otherwise serious tone of the investigation.
  • The discovery of the church directories serves as a pivotal moment in the investigation, providing a tangible lead that can propel the story forward. The characters' excitement and urgency in flipping through the directories effectively convey the significance of their findings.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere. For instance, describing the state of the directories or the specific details of the basement could further immerse the audience in the setting.
  • The transition between the basement scene and Sacha's phone call could be smoother. The abrupt shift to Sacha at the courthouse feels disjointed and could be better integrated to maintain narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive elements about the basement and the directories to create a stronger visual impact. For example, describe the dust on the shelves or the faded covers of the directories.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by incorporating a moment of reflection or concern from the characters about the implications of their findings. This could deepen the audience's connection to the characters and the gravity of the investigation.
  • To improve the transition to Sacha's scene, consider including a line of dialogue or a visual cue that links the two locations, such as Robby mentioning the need to follow up with Sacha after they gather the directories.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a moment of tension or conflict within the basement scene, such as a disagreement about the direction of the investigation or the urgency of their findings, to heighten the stakes.



Scene 27 -  Uncovering Secrecy
72 INT. GREENBERG TRAURIG, CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING 72

Robby and Sacha have been waiting. Macleish enters.

ERIC MACLEISH
Thanks for waiting, so sorry guys, I
got stuck on a call. What’s up?

SACHA
Mr. MacLeish, are you familiar with
a priest named Paul Shanley?

MacLeish looks at her. Surprised. He sits back.

ERIC MACLEISH
Yes, I’m familiar with him.

SACHA
Have you settled cases against
Father Shanley?

ERIC MACLEISH
As I’m sure you can understand, I
can’t discuss that.
11/26/14 62.


ROBBY
What about Father Ronald Paquin?

ERIC MACLEISH
I can’t discuss that either. Come
on, guys.

SACHA
We understand you’ve settled several
cases against each of them.

ERIC MACLEISH
Even if I’d been involved in those
cases, the settlements would be
confidential. I could be disbarred
for acknowledging their existence.

Robby’s not backing down. MacLeish shakes his head.

ERIC MACLEISH (CONT’D)
Look, I told you, these are tough
cases. Most of these folks just
want some acknowledgement of what
happened. We got them a sit-down
with the bishop and a little dough.
It was the best they could hope for.

ROBBY
It was certainly the best the priest
could hope for.

ERIC MACLEISH
No, the Church promised to take the
priests out of circulation.

ROBBY
And did you follow up on that?

ERIC MACLEISH
(done with this)
You guys need anything else?

SACHA
Yes. Why aren’t there any records?
I was just down at the courthouse,
why aren’t there any records of
these settlements?

MacLeish pauses. Hesitant, now not so sure of himself.

ERIC MACLEISH
We dealt directly with the Church.
We’d draw up a demand letter and
we’d send it to the chancery.
11/26/14 63.


SACHA
You never filed anything in court?

ERIC MACLEISH
It was a private mediation.

So that’s a no. Jesus. Sacha and Robby react.

ROBBY
So this is just you and the
archdiocese’s lawyers in a room?

ERIC MACLEISH
Correct.

SACHA
Anyone else?

ERIC MACLEISH
Occasionally, the Church would bring
in another defense attorney to help
out.

ROBBY
You have any names?

ERIC MACLEISH
(stonewalling him)
No. No I don’t.

73 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT - LATE AFTERNOON 73

Ben sits with the gang.

BEN
So this was all under the table?

SACHA
There’s no paper trail at all. The
victim has to sign a confidentiality
agreement to get the settlement.
The lawyer takes his third and the
Church sweeps it under the rug.

MIKE
Jeez. It’s a freakin’ racket.

BEN
It’s more complicated than that.
MacLeish has got a duty to his
clients to get the best deal he can.
11/26/14 64.


SACHA
Sure, but how many victims do you
represent and profit from before you
say something?

MIKE
Garabedian would say none. That’s
why he’s taking these cases to
court. Because he wants people to
know about this.

SACHA
I agree. And, legal ethics aside,
Ben, operating the way MacLeish has
all but guarantees the abuse stays
under wraps.

BEN
Yeah.
(then)
Did MacLeish confirm all of
Saviano’s priests?

ROBBY
No. He’s limited by the
confidentiality agreement.

SACHA
But he’s clearly settled cases
against a number of them. Phil’s
put me in touch with some of the
other victims, I’m pretty confident
all of his priests are going to
check out.

BEN
So it’s thirteen priests?

SACHA ROBBY
Yeah. Looks that way.

BEN (CONT’D)
Holy Shit. Okay. Keep going.

Off Ben --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense meeting at Greenberg Traurig, Robby and Sacha confront attorney Eric MacLeish about undisclosed settlements involving priests Paul Shanley and Ronald Paquin. MacLeish, defensive and evasive, refuses to divulge details due to confidentiality concerns, revealing that the settlements were handled privately with the Church and lack formal documentation. The scene highlights the conflict between the pursuit of justice for abuse victims and the legal protections for the accused, leaving Robby and Sacha frustrated and with more questions than answers.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Ethical complexity
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with intense dialogue and a focus on the ethical implications of legal settlements in abuse cases. It moves the plot forward significantly and sets up further conflict and investigation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the hidden world of legal settlements in abuse cases is compelling and adds depth to the narrative. It raises ethical and moral questions that drive the story forward.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, revealing crucial information about the legal dealings surrounding abuse cases. It sets the stage for further investigation and conflict.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on legal proceedings and ethical dilemmas, presenting a nuanced portrayal of lawyers' responsibilities and the challenges of seeking justice. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear in this scene. Their interactions reveal their dedication to uncovering the truth and the challenges they face in doing so.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it deepens the characters' resolve and determination to pursue the truth, setting the stage for potential growth in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth about the settlements and hold the Church accountable for their actions. This reflects his desire for justice and truth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to gather evidence and information about the settlements to expose the Church's cover-up. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating legal obstacles and confidentiality agreements.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around ethical dilemmas and the struggle to uncover hidden truths. It sets up further external conflicts as the investigation progresses.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with legal obstacles, moral dilemmas, and conflicting motivations creating tension and uncertainty for the characters. The audience is left unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters grapple with ethical dilemmas, legal obstacles, and the pursuit of justice. The outcome of their investigation could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about legal settlements and the challenges faced by journalists. It sets up new leads and conflicts for further exploration.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, moral dilemmas, and unexpected revelations about the legal proceedings. The audience is kept on edge by the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around legal ethics, confidentiality, and the moral responsibility of lawyers to their clients and society. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about justice and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of unease and tension, but the emotional impact is more intellectual than visceral. It prompts reflection on the complexities of the subject matter.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and drives the scene forward. It effectively conveys the tension and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, moral dilemmas, and the suspense of uncovering hidden truths. The conflict between the characters keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy legal drama, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format for a dialogue-heavy legal drama, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the dialogue between Robby, Sacha, and Eric MacLeish. The stakes are clear as they confront MacLeish about the settlements, and the use of direct questions creates a sense of urgency. However, the pacing could be improved by varying the rhythm of the dialogue. Some lines feel overly expository, which can slow down the momentum. Consider tightening the exchanges to maintain a brisk pace.
  • MacLeish's character comes across as evasive, which is effective in creating tension. However, his motivations could be more clearly defined. Why is he so reluctant to share information? Adding a line or two that hints at his internal conflict or fear of repercussions could deepen his character and make the scene more engaging.
  • The scene transitions from the conference room to the Spotlight office smoothly, but the emotional weight of the revelations could be emphasized more. After the confrontation with MacLeish, the characters should have a moment to process the implications of what they've learned. This could be achieved through a brief pause in dialogue or a visual cue that highlights their shock or determination.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but some lines could be more impactful. For instance, when Sacha states, 'There’s no paper trail at all,' it could be enhanced by a more visceral reaction from Robby or Mike, emphasizing the gravity of the situation. This would help to convey the emotional stakes involved in their investigation.
  • The scene ends on a strong note with Ben's reaction to the number of priests involved, but it could benefit from a more explicit emotional response from Sacha and Robby. Their expressions of disbelief or determination could serve to heighten the tension and set the stage for the next steps in their investigation.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to enhance the pacing and maintain tension. Remove any lines that feel overly expository or redundant.
  • Add depth to MacLeish's character by including hints of his internal conflict or fear of repercussions for discussing the settlements.
  • Incorporate a moment of reflection after the confrontation with MacLeish to allow the characters to process the implications of their findings.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of key lines by including more visceral reactions from Robby and Mike, particularly when discussing the lack of a paper trail.
  • Provide a more explicit emotional response from Sacha and Robby at the end of the scene to emphasize the gravity of the situation and set up the next steps in their investigation.



Scene 28 -  A Night at the Copley Square
75 INT. COPLEY SQUARE BALLROOM, ATRIUM - NIGHT 75

CLOSE ON a woman scanning a list of names on clipboard.

WOMAN
I’m sorry, what was it again?
11/26/14 65.


REVEAL Marty standing next to her at the base of wide
staircase. Several such women are checking off attendees.

MARTY
Uh, Baron? B-A-R-O-N.

WOMAN
I’m sorry, I don’t see you here.

PETE CONLEY (O.C.)
It’s okay, Kim, I can vouch for him.

Marty turns, finds PETE CONLEY, 60s, Irish wealth and power.
He extends a hand.

PETE CONLEY (CONT’D)
Pete Conley, I’m on the board of
Catholic Charities. Welcome to
Boston, Mr. Baron.

MARTY
Uh, thank you.

PETE CONLEY
I appreciate you joining us. We’re
very proud of the work we do here in
Boston.
(then)
The Cardinal said you had a nice
visit.

MARTY
Uh, yes. We did.

PETER CONLEY
He’s an extraordinary man. I’m glad
you had a chance to chat.

75A INT. COPLEY SQUARE BALLROOM - MOMENTS LATER 75A

Marty walks into the party, not knowing a soul. He stands
alone, taking it in.

ROBBY
Enjoying yourself?

Marty turns. Robby’s there. Slacks and a blazer.

MARTY
Uh, to be honest, these events
aren’t really my strong suit.
(then)
Are you involved with the charity?
11/26/14 66.


ROBBY
Not directly. Several of my friends
are. We all went to BC High
together. That’s the school across
the street from the Globe.

MARTY
It’s hard to miss.

ROBBY
Yeah. Hard to get away from too,
apparently.

Marty smiles.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
The Cardinal’s in the corner if
you’re so inclined.

Robby nods. Indeed, there’s the Cardinal and he’s talking to
Pete Conley and few others.

MARTY
We’ve met.

ROBBY
Did he mention the suit?

MARTY
No, but he did give me a copy of the
Catechism.

ROBBY
(laughs)
Yeah, the Cardinal’s not known for
his subtlety. During the Porter
investigation, he literally called
down the power of God on the Globe.

MARTY
How did that play out?

ROBBY
A week later our editor broke his
leg skiing.

Marty reacts to Robby’s line.

WAITER
Shrimp toast, gentlemen?

Robby takes a shrimp.
11/26/14 67.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary At a charity event in the lavish Copley Square Ballroom, Marty struggles to gain entry until powerful figure Pete Conley vouches for him. Once inside, Marty feels out of place but finds comfort in a conversation with Robby, who shares insights and humorous anecdotes about the Cardinal and the charity's connections. The scene captures the awkwardness and light humor of navigating social dynamics, culminating in a moment of camaraderie over shrimp toast.
Strengths
  • Effective character introductions
  • Insight into social dynamics
  • Establishes setting and tone
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Minimal character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively introduces new characters, sets the tone for Marty's discomfort in social situations, and hints at underlying power dynamics within the Catholic community. However, it lacks significant conflict or emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Marty navigating a charity event and interacting with influential figures in the Catholic community is intriguing. It adds depth to the storyline and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene focuses on Marty's social discomfort and the introduction of new characters. While it provides necessary background information, it lacks significant progression.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the clash between secular and religious values, using humor and wit to explore the dynamics of a high-class social event.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Marty and Pete Conley, are well-defined and their interactions reveal insights into their personalities. The scene effectively sets up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, primarily focusing on Marty's discomfort and introduction to new characters. It sets the stage for potential growth in Marty's character.

Internal Goal: 8

Marty's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the unfamiliar social environment and make a good impression on the influential individuals present. This reflects his desire for acceptance and validation in a new setting.

External Goal: 7.5

Marty's external goal is to network and establish connections with the attendees at the charity event. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of fitting into a new social circle and potentially furthering his career.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is minimal, primarily revolving around Marty's discomfort in social settings. There is a lack of intense conflict or tension.

Opposition: 6.5

The opposition in the scene is subtle, with underlying power dynamics and conflicting values creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character introductions and social dynamics. There is a lack of immediate high-stakes conflict or tension.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key characters and providing background information on the Catholic community. It sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected humor and twists in the dialogue, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the power dynamics and values of the Catholic Church, as represented by the Cardinal and Pete Conley. Marty's more secular worldview may clash with the traditional beliefs and practices of the Church.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes a mild emotional response due to Marty's awkwardness and the introduction of new characters. However, it lacks significant emotional depth or impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is informative and serves the purpose of introducing characters and establishing relationships. It could be more engaging with added depth and subtext.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and the underlying tension between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics, with a good balance of dialogue and action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dialogue-driven sequence in a screenplay, with clear character introductions, interactions, and development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the social dynamics and power structures within the Boston community, particularly in relation to the Catholic Church. The introduction of Pete Conley as a powerful figure adds weight to the setting and highlights the connections between the church and influential individuals.
  • Marty's discomfort in the social setting is palpable, which helps to humanize him and makes the audience empathize with his character. This internal conflict is a strong element that could be further explored to deepen his character development.
  • The dialogue is engaging and serves to reveal character relationships and the stakes involved in the investigation. However, some lines, such as 'The Cardinal said you had a nice visit,' feel a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtlety to enhance the realism of the interactions.
  • The humor introduced through Robby's comments about the Cardinal adds a light touch to an otherwise serious narrative, but it risks undermining the gravity of the investigation. Balancing humor with the serious themes of the story is crucial to maintain the overall tone.
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the previous one, maintaining narrative momentum. However, the pacing could be improved by tightening some of the dialogue exchanges to keep the audience engaged and to avoid any potential lulls in the action.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Marty to further illustrate his discomfort and the weight of the situation he is stepping into. This could enhance the audience's connection to his character.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to make it feel more natural and less expository. For example, instead of directly stating the Cardinal's opinion of Marty, show it through their interactions or through indirect comments from other characters.
  • Incorporate more visual elements that reflect the atmosphere of the charity event, such as descriptions of the decor, the mood of the attendees, or the sounds of the event, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Consider using subtext in the dialogue to convey underlying tensions or motivations, particularly in the exchanges between Marty and Pete Conley. This can add depth to the interactions and keep the audience engaged in deciphering the true meanings behind the words.
  • To maintain the balance between humor and seriousness, ensure that any comedic elements serve to enhance the narrative rather than distract from the central themes. This could involve using humor to highlight the absurdity of the situation rather than as a standalone joke.



Scene 29 -  Dinner of Reflection
76 INT. ARMENIAN DINER, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - NIGHT 76

CLOSE ON a bowl of soup. HANDS reach for it... REVEAL
Garabedian and Mike having dinner. Mike’s going over notes.

MIKE
You said there was a victim who
filed a criminal complaint?

GARABEDIAN
There were a few, but the judge
sealed the case records after
friends of the Church stepped in.
The Church has a lot of friends.

MIKE
Like Eric MacLeish?

Garabedian sees he understands. Garabedian’s impressed.

GARABEDIAN
Let’s just say, he’s not part of the
solution. You follow what I’m
saying?

MIKE
Sure.

Mike jots down some notes. Garabedian watches him.

GARABEDIAN
You work hard, Mr. Rezendes. Are
you married?

MIKE
Yeah.

GARABEDIAN
And your wife doesn’t mind you
working all the time?

MIKE
Yeah, she does.

GARABEDIAN
See. That’s why I never got
married. I’m too busy, what I do is
too important.

Garabedian salts his soup.

GARABEDIAN (CONT’D)
Your new editor, he’s a Jew right?
11/26/14 68.


MIKE
Uh, that’s right.

GARABEDIAN
He comes in, suddenly everybody is
interested in the Church. You know
why? Because it takes an outsider.
Like me. I’m Armenian. How many
Armenians do you know in Boston?

MIKE
Steve Kurkjian, works at the Globe.

GARABEDIAN
That’s two! You should get a prize
or something. What are you, Italian?

MIKE
Portuguese.

GARABEDIAN
From where?

MIKE
East Boston.

GARABEDIAN
You don’t sound like it.

Mike shrugs. Garabedian shakes his head, chuckles.

GARABEDIAN (CONT’D)
This city, these people, making the
rest of us feel like we don’t
belong. But they’re no better than
us. Look how they treat their
children.
(wiping his mouth)
Mark my words, Mr. Rezendes, if it
takes a village to raise a child, it
takes a village to abuse one.

Garabedian eats. Mike ponders. Oddly moved.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a dimly lit Armenian diner in downtown Boston, Mike and Garabedian engage in a deep conversation over dinner. Mike reviews notes on a sealed criminal case linked to the Church, while Garabedian sheds light on the Church's influence and the complicity of figures like Eric MacLeish. Their discussion shifts to personal matters, revealing Mike's struggles with his marriage and Garabedian's choice to remain single for his work. As they reflect on societal issues surrounding child abuse, the tension between the Church's power and the pursuit of truth becomes evident. The scene concludes with Mike contemplating Garabedian's poignant insights, feeling a mix of frustration and connection.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Heavy exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the gravity of the subject matter, maintains a consistent tone, and advances the plot significantly. The dialogue is impactful and reveals crucial information about the characters and their motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exposing abuse within the Church through investigative journalism is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores the complexities of the issue and the challenges faced by those seeking justice.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, revealing crucial information about the characters, their relationships, and the overarching investigation. It sets the stage for future revelations and conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the themes of power and corruption within the Church. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo emotional and psychological changes in the scene, as they confront painful truths and make difficult decisions. These changes drive the narrative and deepen the character arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the sealed case records and the Church's involvement. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and integrity in his work.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the Church's cover-up and expose the truth to the public. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in uncovering the corruption within the Church.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from the characters' personal struggles to the larger societal issues at play. The tension is palpable and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles in their investigation that add to the suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters grapple with issues of abuse, complicity, and justice. The outcome of their investigations could have far-reaching consequences for individuals and institutions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward significantly, introducing new information, conflicts, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future developments and revelations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations and twists in the characters' motivations and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's belief in justice and integrity versus the Church's power and influence. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, delving into sensitive subject matter with empathy and authenticity. The characters' struggles and revelations resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, poignant, and drives the scene forward. It effectively conveys the emotions, conflicts, and revelations of the characters, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and the tension between the characters. The audience is drawn into the mystery and conflict of the investigation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of tension-building moments and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with a good balance of dialogue and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven investigative drama, with a clear focus on character interactions and revelations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense atmosphere through the intimate setting of the diner, which contrasts with the heavy subject matter being discussed. The use of close-ups, particularly on the bowl of soup, draws the audience into the personal nature of the conversation, emphasizing the emotional weight of the dialogue.
  • Garabedian's character is well-developed through his dialogue, showcasing his cynicism and the burden of his work. His comments about the Church and the societal dynamics in Boston provide depth to his character and highlight the themes of complicity and outsider perspectives. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the tension and stakes of their conversation.
  • The exchange about Mike's marital status adds a personal touch, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the main focus of the scene. While it serves to humanize Mike, it could be more tightly integrated with the overarching themes of the investigation and the emotional toll it takes on those involved.
  • Garabedian's metaphor about the village is powerful and resonates with the themes of community complicity in abuse. However, it could be more impactful if it were delivered with greater emotional intensity or urgency, perhaps by incorporating a personal anecdote or a more visceral reaction to the topic.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but there are moments where the dialogue could be tightened to maintain momentum. Some lines feel slightly repetitive or could be streamlined to enhance the flow of the conversation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue to create tension and deepen the stakes of the conversation. For example, Garabedian could hint at personal experiences that shaped his views on the Church, making his insights feel more urgent.
  • Integrate Mike's marital status more closely with the investigation's emotional toll. Perhaps he could reflect on how his work affects his relationship, drawing a parallel between his personal life and the broader themes of neglect and abuse.
  • Enhance Garabedian's metaphor about the village by incorporating a personal story or a more emotional delivery. This could help to underscore the gravity of the situation and make the audience feel the weight of his words.
  • Tighten the dialogue to improve pacing. Review each line for redundancy and consider whether every line serves the scene's purpose. Aim for concise exchanges that maintain the tension and urgency of the investigation.
  • Explore the use of visual storytelling elements, such as the diner setting, to reflect the emotional state of the characters. For instance, the contrast between the warmth of the diner and the coldness of their conversation could be emphasized through visual cues.



Scene 30 -  Confrontation at the Copley
77 INT. COPLEY SQUARE BALLROOM, ATRIUM - NIGHT 77

Robby crosses the room, joins Jim Sullivan at the bar.

JIM
There he is.

They two men shake.
11/26/14 69.


JIM (CONT’D)
Wanna beer?

ROBBY
Love one.

Jim nods to the bartender.

JIM
You here with Barbara?

ROBBY
No. She hates these things.

JIM
Karen too. Smart ladies.

The bartender sets down two beers. Robby hands one to Jim.

ROBBY
Sláinte.

JIM
I just met your new editor, seems
like a decent fella.

ROBBY
I think he is.
(then)
I had an interesting conversation
with Eric MacLeish yesterday. Turns
out he’s been settling abuse cases
with the archdiocese for years.

JIM
You really wanna talk about this
here?

ROBBY
You said you helped out on Father
Barrett as a favor, that was a one-
off?

Jim doesn’t say anything. Robby DARKENS.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
How many of these cases have you
been involved with, Jim?

JIM
You know I can’t answer that, Robby.
It’s unethical.
11/26/14 70.


ROBBY
Is that all it is?

Jim stares Robby down. He drinks.

JIM
So this is the Robby Robinson I’ve
always heard about but never met.

ROBBY
Listen to me, Jimmy. You want to be
on the right side of this.

JIM
You’re talking about the Church,
Robby. Look around. These are good
people who’ve done a lot of good for
this city.
(then)
Enjoy the party.

Jim smiles, heads into the party, leaving Robby alone at the
bar. Robby glances over at Marty, still on the edge of the
party. So this is what it feels like to be on the outside...
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary At a lively ballroom event, Robby confronts Jim Sullivan about the Church's handling of abuse cases, leading to a tense exchange. While Robby presses for transparency, Jim defends the Church's contributions and refuses to share details, citing ethical concerns. The conversation escalates, leaving Robby feeling isolated as Jim ultimately walks away, highlighting the unresolved conflict and moral urgency surrounding the issue.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Ethical complexity
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and raises important ethical questions, showcasing the complexity of the characters' motivations and the high stakes involved in their investigation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exposing abuse within the Church is compelling and thought-provoking, offering a nuanced exploration of the ethical implications of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, as key revelations about the characters' involvement in abuse cases and their moral dilemmas are uncovered. The conflict between Robby and Jim adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of moral dilemmas and ethical choices. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed and their conflicting motivations are effectively portrayed, adding layers of complexity to the scene. Robby's determination and Jim's ethical struggles create a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Robby and Jim both undergo internal changes as they confront their ethical dilemmas and the implications of their actions, leading to a shift in their perspectives and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth and hold those responsible for abuse cases accountable. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and integrity.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to confront Jim about his involvement in abuse cases and potentially expose the truth. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating ethical dilemmas and maintaining integrity in a social setting.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Robby and Jim, as well as the ethical dilemmas faced by the characters, creates a high level of tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and motivations driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of exposing abuse within the Church, as well as the personal and professional risks faced by the characters, heighten the tension and drama of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story by revealing crucial information about the characters' involvement in abuse cases and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral ambiguity. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the differing values of justice and loyalty. Robby believes in uncovering the truth and holding wrongdoers accountable, while Jim values loyalty to the Church and maintaining the status quo.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to concern, as the characters grapple with difficult decisions and ethical challenges.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the characters' inner conflicts and moral dilemmas effectively. It drives the scene forward and enhances the tension between Robby and Jim.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue and emotional stakes. The conflict between the characters keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, leading to a dramatic confrontation between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic confrontation, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Robby and Jim, highlighting the ethical dilemmas surrounding the Church's abuse cases. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the conflict. While Jim's reluctance to discuss the cases is clear, Robby's motivations could be more explicitly stated to enhance the stakes of their conversation.
  • The setting of the Copley Square Ballroom is visually rich, but the scene could use more descriptive elements to convey the atmosphere. Adding sensory details about the sounds, sights, and feelings of the party could immerse the audience further into the environment, contrasting the festive mood with the serious conversation about abuse.
  • Robby's isolation at the bar is a strong visual cue, but the emotional weight of this moment could be amplified. Consider incorporating internal monologue or flashbacks that illustrate Robby's past experiences with the Church or his motivations for pursuing the truth, which would add depth to his character and the scene.
  • The dialogue flows well, but some lines feel a bit on-the-nose, particularly Robby's insistence on being on the 'right side.' This could be rephrased to sound more natural and less like a moral lecture. Subtlety in dialogue can often convey deeper meaning without overtly stating it.
  • The scene ends with Robby feeling isolated, which is a powerful moment. However, it could be enhanced by showing his internal struggle more vividly. Perhaps a brief reflection on his feelings about the Church or his role in the investigation could provide a more poignant conclusion.
Suggestions
  • Add more sensory details to the setting to create a vivid atmosphere that contrasts the festive nature of the event with the serious conversation about abuse.
  • Incorporate subtext into the dialogue to deepen the conflict between Robby and Jim, allowing their motivations and emotions to be felt rather than explicitly stated.
  • Consider including internal monologue or flashbacks for Robby to provide context for his motivations and feelings about the Church, enhancing his character development.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to sound more natural and less preachy, allowing the characters' emotions and stakes to come through more subtly.
  • Strengthen the ending by showing Robby's internal struggle more vividly, perhaps through a brief reflection on his feelings about the Church and his role in the investigation.



Scene 31 -  Unveiling the Truth
78 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE - DAY 78

Matt, Sacha and Mike are crammed in Robby’s office, Matt
downloading the team on the directories.

MATT
I’ve been through a lot of these.
‘Sick leave’ isn’t the only
designation they use when they take
one of these priests out of
circulation. They use a slew of
terms - ‘absent on leave,’
‘unassigned,’ ‘emergency response.’

MIKE
They got a name for everything,
these guys.

SACHA
Except rape.

A phone rings in the Spotlight office. Mike exits to get it.

MATT
And they move parishes way more
frequently than other priests. When
I was a kid, a priest moved after
seven or eight years. These guys,
it’s two to three tops.
11/26/14 71.


SACHA
Did they use these designations for
all of Saviano’s priests?

MATT
Yeah. It’s a pretty clear pattern.

As Robby considers this, Mike calls from Spotlight --

MIKE
Guys, I’ve got Sipe.

79 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 79

The team is HUDDLED around a SPEAKERPHONE.

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
I think if you want to understand
the crisis, you need to start with
the celibacy requirement. That was
my first major finding: only 50% of
the clergy are celibate.

They share a look. 50%? Can that be true?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE) (CONT’D)
Now, most of them are having sex
with other adults. But this creates
a culture of secrecy, that tolerates
and even protects pedophiles.

SACHA
So you believe the church is aware
of the extent of this ‘crisis?’

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
Absolutely. After the first major
scandal in Louisiana, Tom Doyle, the
Secretary Canonist for the Papal
Nuncio, coauthored a report warning
pedophile priests were a billion-
dollar liability. That was in 1985.

MIKE
1985?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
That’s right.

MIKE
Who saw this document? Anyone in
the Catholic hierarchy?
11/26/14 72.


SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
Sure. Doyle tried to introduce the
report at the National Conference of
Catholic Bishops. In fact, Cardinal
Law initially helped to fund the
report, but then he backed out and
they shelved it.

REZENDEZ
(to Sacha and Matt)
Are you kidding me?

ROBBY
Richard, Robby here. We think we
have thirteen priests in Boston that
fit this pattern, which would be a
very big story. Does that sound
right to you? In terms of scale?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
No. Not really. It sounds low. My
estimates suggest six percent act
out sexually with minors.

MIKE
Six percent of what?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
Six percent of all priests.

Holy shit. Robby turns to the team.

ROBBY
How many priests do we have in
Boston?

MATT
About fifteen hundred. One percent
is fifteen... six percent is ninety.

ROBBY SACHA
Ninety priests? Is that possible?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
From a metric standpoint, that would
be in line with my findings.

The team looks at each other. FLOORED. A beat, then --

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE) (CONT’D)
Hello?
11/26/14 73.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In Robby's office, Matt briefs Sacha and Mike on the church's tactics to conceal priests from scrutiny, revealing a pattern of frequent relocations. During a call with Sipe, they learn that only 50% of clergy adhere to celibacy, fostering a culture that protects abusers. Sipe cites a 1985 report warning about the financial risks posed by pedophile priests and estimates that six percent of priests in Boston could be offenders, potentially totaling ninety. The team is left in stunned disbelief as they grapple with the shocking implications of this information.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension and intrigue
  • Strong performances
Weaknesses
  • Potential overload of information for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, revealing crucial information that significantly advances the investigation and adds depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of uncovering the truth behind the Church's cover-up of abuse is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 9.2

The plot is significantly advanced through the revelation of the extent of the crisis, setting the stage for further investigation and conflict.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on a controversial and sensitive topic with authenticity and depth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and compelling, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are deeply involved in the scene, reacting to the shocking information and showcasing their dedication to uncovering the truth.

Character Changes: 9

The characters experience a shift in perspective and understanding due to the shocking information revealed, leading to personal growth.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the extent of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to break the story about the priests involved in sexual abuse and expose the church's cover-up. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in investigating and reporting on a sensitive and controversial topic.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict arises from the revelation of the Church's complicity in covering up abuse, creating tension and raising the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult challenges and moral dilemmas that test their resolve and integrity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters realize the extent of the crisis and the challenges they face in exposing the truth.

Story Forward: 10

The scene significantly moves the story forward by uncovering crucial information that propels the investigation and deepens the conflict.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it reveals shocking information about the extent of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, challenging the characters' beliefs and expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the church's reputation and the truth about the abuse scandals. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the integrity of religious institutions and the importance of holding them accountable.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.4

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly shock and concern, as the characters grapple with the magnitude of the crisis.

Dialogue: 9.3

The dialogue is impactful, conveying the seriousness of the situation and driving the investigation forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a compelling and suspenseful investigation into a controversial topic, with sharp dialogue and tense interactions between the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and dynamic, with a sense of urgency and tension that drives the plot forward and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions that enhance the readability of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and urgency as the team uncovers shocking information about the Catholic Church's handling of abuse cases. The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' growing realization of the scale of the problem, which is crucial for the narrative's progression.
  • The use of the speakerphone adds a layer of immediacy and allows for a dynamic exchange of information. However, the transition between the two locations (Robby's office and the Spotlight office) could be more fluid to maintain the scene's momentum.
  • The emotional weight of the revelations is palpable, particularly with the characters' reactions to the statistics shared by Sipe. However, the scene could benefit from more visual cues or physical reactions from the characters to enhance the emotional impact of the shocking statistics.
  • The pacing is generally effective, but the scene could be tightened by reducing some of the dialogue that reiterates points already made. For instance, the repeated questioning about the celibacy requirement could be streamlined to maintain focus on the shocking statistics.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with Sipe's final line, which is effective for building suspense. However, it might be beneficial to include a brief moment of reflection or a decision-making moment from the team before the scene concludes, emphasizing the gravity of the information they've just received.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical reactions from the characters as they process the shocking information. This could include facial expressions, body language, or even moments of silence that emphasize the weight of the revelations.
  • Streamline the dialogue to avoid redundancy. Focus on the most impactful lines that drive the narrative forward and reveal character motivations or emotions.
  • Enhance the transition between Robby's office and the Spotlight office by using visual cues or sound effects that connect the two locations, making the scene feel more cohesive.
  • Incorporate a brief moment of reflection or a decision-making dialogue among the team after Sipe's shocking statistics to highlight their emotional state and the urgency of their investigation.
  • Consider using a visual motif or recurring element (like a specific object in the office) to symbolize the weight of the information they are uncovering, which could add depth to the scene.



Scene 32 -  Uncovering the Truth
80 INT. GLOBE, BEN’S OFFICE - DAY 80

Ben eats lunch, Robby and Mike download him. Ben’s shocked.

BEN
Ninety fucking priests? In Boston?

ROBBY
That’s what he said.

BEN
If there were ninety of these
bastards people would know.

MIKE
Maybe they do.

BEN
And no one said a thing?

MIKE
Good Germans?

BEN
I don’t think that’s a comparison
you want to make publicly.

ROBBY
MacLeish knew and said nothing.

BEN
That’s thirteen priests, big
difference between thirteen and
ninety. Where’s this guy Sipe
getting his numbers?

MIKE
He’s studied this for thirty years,
he’s a trained psychotherapist --

BEN
Okay, but we need something more
than a metric from some hippy ex-
priest who’s shacking up with a nun.

MIKE
So we’ll track down more victims,
we’ll get more priests. Then we can
check them against the directories.

BEN
That’s a shitload of victims.
11/26/14 74.


MIKE
We’ll get them.

BEN
How long’s it gonna take?

Mike shrugs. Robby considers. Then...

ROBBY
Too long.

Robby gets up, moves for the door. Maybe with an idea.

BEN
Meeting over?

ROBBY
For now.

81 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - MOMENTS LATER 81

Robby walks through the newsroom. Mike catches up to him.

MIKE
What do you got?

ROBBY
What if we work backwards?

MIKE
What do you mean? From what?

ROBBY
The directories. We’ve been using
them to confirm bad priests. What
if we do it the other way around?

MIKE
(getting it)
Use the directories to identify bad
priests?

ROBBY
Yeah, exactly. We search by
designation, we look for any priest
on ‘sick leave’ or ‘unnassigned’ --

MIKE
Or for priests who moved around a
lot...

ROBBY
Yeah.
11/26/14 75.


MIKE
That’s gonna take a load of time.

ROBBY
Not if we’re all on it.

MIKE
You too?

ROBBY
Generally, that’s what all means.

MIKE
Yeah, generally.

That’s the plan. Robby looks set. Off Mike, we --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative","Thriller"]

Summary In Ben's office at the Globe, Ben is taken aback when Robby and Mike reveal a source's claim of ninety priests involved in misconduct in Boston. Skeptical of such a staggering number going unnoticed, Ben questions the credibility of the source, Sipe. Robby suggests a new investigative strategy using directories to identify potentially problematic priests, which Mike supports. The scene captures the tension and urgency of their discussion as they resolve to pursue this new lead collaboratively.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Introducing a new investigative strategy
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development in this particular scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and crucial to the plot's progression. It introduces a new investigative angle and raises the stakes significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using directories to identify abusive priests is innovative and adds depth to the investigation. It shows a strategic shift in the team's approach.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is significantly advanced in this scene through the revelation of shocking statistics and the introduction of a new investigative strategy. It raises the stakes and sets up future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative genre by focusing on a sensitive and timely topic, while also presenting complex moral dilemmas and character dynamics.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are driven by determination and a sense of urgency in this scene. Their interactions reveal their commitment to uncovering the truth.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the determination and commitment of the characters are reinforced, setting the stage for potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth and hold accountable those responsible for the abuse. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and integrity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate and track down more victims and priests involved in the abuse scandal. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in uncovering the truth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from the shocking statistics revealed and the challenges the team faces in their investigation. It adds tension and urgency to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges in uncovering the truth and holding accountable those responsible for the abuse.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene due to the shocking statistics revealed, the challenges faced in the investigation, and the determination of the team to uncover the truth.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information, a strategic shift in the investigation, and raising the stakes. It sets up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' decisions and the evolving investigation process that keeps the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the moral responsibility of individuals to speak out against wrongdoing, even in the face of societal pressure or fear of consequences. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes concern, determination, and shock in the audience. The gravity of the situation and the characters' resolve contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, focused, and drives the investigation forward. It effectively conveys the intensity of the situation and the characters' resolve.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum, while allowing for character interactions and plot revelations to unfold naturally.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that advances the plot and character development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the shock and disbelief of the characters regarding the number of priests involved in misconduct. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth to convey the gravity of the situation. The characters are reacting to a serious issue, yet their exchanges feel somewhat casual, which may undermine the weight of the revelation.
  • The pacing of the scene is brisk, which is appropriate for the urgency of the investigation. However, it might be helpful to slow down at key moments to allow the audience to absorb the implications of the information being discussed. For instance, after Ben's line about the number of priests, a brief pause could emphasize the shock before moving on.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks distinct character voices. Each character should have a unique way of speaking that reflects their personality and background. For example, Ben's skepticism could be highlighted with more biting sarcasm, while Mike's determination could be expressed through more passionate language.
  • The transition from Ben's office to the newsroom feels abrupt. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge the two locations, reinforcing the weight of the conversation they just had. This would also enhance the emotional continuity of the scene.
  • The use of 'Good Germans' as a reference is a powerful metaphor, but it could be expanded upon. This line could lead to a deeper discussion about complicity and silence within the community, which would add layers to the characters' motivations and the overall narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a visual cue after the shocking revelation about the ninety priests to allow the weight of the information to settle in for both the characters and the audience.
  • Enhance character differentiation in dialogue by giving each character a distinct voice. This could involve varying sentence structure, word choice, or even incorporating personal anecdotes that reflect their backgrounds.
  • Explore the implications of the 'Good Germans' reference further. Perhaps have a character express a personal connection to the issue, which could deepen the emotional stakes and highlight the moral complexities involved.
  • Incorporate a brief moment of reflection or a visual transition between Ben's office and the newsroom to create a smoother flow and maintain emotional continuity.
  • Consider adding a line or two that reflects on the potential impact of their findings on the community, which would ground the scene in the larger societal context and heighten the stakes of their investigation.



Scene 33 -  Uncovering Shadows
82 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT - LATER 82

CLOSE ON a ruler moving down a directory. It stops at a
designation: Sick Leave. PAN TO the name of a priest.
MAHAN. A pen circles it and we --

CUT TO another ruler scanning a directory. It stops.
Unassigned. PAN TO the name of another priest. KEANE. The
name is circled and we --

CUT TO another ruler scanning. Sick Leave. PAQUIN.

REVEAL Sacha, moving a ruler down a directory. CUT TO --

ABOVE Mike, scanning a directory with a ruler. CUT TO --

CLOSE ON Robby. Squinting at a directory. CUT TO --

Matt, hunched over a computer, entering data. CUT TO --

CLOSE ON an excel spreadsheet. A date, a priest’s name, then
the designation are typed into a column. CUT TO --

More names and designations, logged year by year, into the
spreadsheet. CUT TO --

82A INT. SACHA’S HOUSE - NIGHT 82A

Sacha at her desk at home, scanning a directory. It’s late.

84 INT. SANTARPIO’S, EAST BOSTON - NIGHT 84

Mike sits in the pizza joint, marking up a directory, two
others beside him. A waiter delivers a pizza and a beer.
Without looking up, Mike reaches for the beer, keeps working.
11/26/14 76.


84A EXT. PORTER SQUARE T-STOP, CAMBRIDGE, MA - MORNING 84A

Sacha waits for the T, working on a directory.

84B INT. GLOBE, LIBRARY - DAY 84B

From the crow’s nest above, we see Mike and Matt at the table
in the library, stacks of directories between them.

84BB INT. GLOBE, CAFETERIA - DAY 84BB

Robby sits alone in cafeteria, working on a directory.

84C EXT. BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - DAY 84C

Sacha walks up the grand steps, enters the massive library.

84D INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT - DAY 84D

CLOSE ON the spreadsheet. More names are entered. We scan
down the growing list of priests...

84F INT. GLOBE, LIBRARY - NIGHT 84F

Mike in a back aisle, works on the directories.

85A INT. BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY, READING ROOM - EARLY EVENING 85A

A beautiful, mostly empty reading room, green banker’s lamps
everywhere. Sacha works late, directories all around her.

86 INT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, WEST ROXBURY - NIGHT 86

Matt sits at a desk at home, hunched over a directory,
scanning it with a ruler. He pauses... leans in further.

CLOSE ON a directory entry. O’Sullivan. Treatment Center,
276 Pelton Street, West Roxbury.

MATT
Holy shit.

Matt PALES, then takes off his glasses and leaves the house.

87 EXT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, WEST ROXBURY - CONTINUOUS 87

Matt heads across the lawn, down the sidewalk. He crosses
the street, rounds the corner, turning onto Pelton Street.

He picks up his pace, checking house numbers. Finally, he
stops at A CLASSIC, TWO STORY VICTORIAN HOUSE. Number 276.

MATT
No freakin’ way.
11/26/14 77.


88 INT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - LATER 88

Matt sits on the kitchen floor in front of the refrigerator,
taping a note to the door. We push in over his shoulder...

“Kids. Stay away from this house at 276 Pelton Street. And
stay away from the men who live inside it.”

Beside the note is a B&W photo of the house down the street.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene set across various locations in Boston, characters Sacha, Mike, and Matt are deeply engaged in researching directories for priests, revealing unsettling designations like 'Sick Leave' and 'Unassigned.' As Matt uncovers a troubling entry that leads him to a Victorian house, he is visibly shocked by what he finds. The scene culminates with Matt taking precautionary measures by taping a warning note on his refrigerator, highlighting his protective instincts for his children amidst the foreboding atmosphere.
Strengths
  • Intense investigative atmosphere
  • Meticulous attention to detail
  • Shocking revelations
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, with a strong focus on investigative elements and building tension. The meticulous attention to detail and the shocking discoveries elevate the intensity and intrigue, making it a compelling and pivotal moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of uncovering hidden truths through investigative journalism is executed with precision and depth in this scene. The systematic approach to researching directories and the shocking revelations about the priests involved in misconduct create a compelling narrative that drives the story forward.

Plot: 9.2

The plot in this scene is crucial as it uncovers significant information about the priests and their misconduct, deepening the investigation and raising the stakes for the characters. The revelations propel the story forward and set the stage for further developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to investigative storytelling, focusing on the meticulous process of uncovering information and the potential consequences of exposing the truth.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

While the focus is more on the investigative process than individual character development, the scene showcases the dedication and determination of the characters involved in uncovering the truth. Their commitment to the investigation and the emotional impact of the discoveries add depth to their roles.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes within the scene, the emotional impact and revelations experienced by the characters lay the groundwork for potential shifts in their perspectives and motivations as the investigation progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the priests and their designations, which reflects their desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the priests and their locations, reflecting the immediate challenge of uncovering potential wrongdoing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The level of conflict in the scene is high, driven by the tension of uncovering disturbing information about the priests and the implications of their actions. The investigative process itself creates internal and external conflicts for the characters, adding depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the characters face challenges in uncovering the truth and potentially facing backlash for their investigation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters uncover shocking revelations about the priests' misconduct, leading to increased urgency and determination in their investigative efforts. The implications of the discoveries raise the stakes for the characters and the overall story.

Story Forward: 10

The scene effectively moves the story forward by uncovering crucial information about the priests involved in misconduct, deepening the investigation and raising the stakes for the characters. The discoveries propel the narrative towards further developments and revelations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the potential consequences of the characters' investigation and the unexpected discoveries they make.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the characters' pursuit of justice and the potential consequences of exposing the truth, which challenges their beliefs about morality and ethics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking shock, concern, and determination in the characters and the audience. The revelations about the priests' misconduct and the characters' reactions heighten the emotional intensity, drawing viewers into the gravity of the situation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue serves the investigative nature of the scene, providing essential information about the priests and their designations. While not heavily focused on character interactions, the dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and gravity of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful tone, as characters work diligently to uncover the truth about the priests.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and tension, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' investigative process.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions of locations and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format, moving between different locations and characters to advance the investigation narrative effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively utilizes a montage format to convey the relentless dedication of the Spotlight team as they sift through directories, which adds a sense of urgency and determination to their investigation. However, the transitions between locations could benefit from more narrative cohesion to maintain the viewer's engagement and understanding of the characters' emotional states during these repetitive tasks.
  • The use of close-ups on the directories and spreadsheets emphasizes the gravity of the information being uncovered, but the scene lacks emotional depth. While it's clear that the team is focused, there is little exploration of their internal reactions to the shocking discoveries they are making. This could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which is appropriate for a scene focused on research, but it might be beneficial to include snippets of conversations or internal thoughts that reveal the characters' feelings about what they are uncovering. This would add layers to the scene and highlight the emotional stakes involved in their investigation.
  • The pacing of the scene is somewhat uneven, as it jumps from one character to another without a clear rhythm. A more deliberate pacing could enhance the tension and anticipation as the characters make their discoveries, particularly when Matt uncovers the alarming connection to the treatment center.
  • Matt's reaction upon discovering the entry in the directory is impactful, but it could be further developed to illustrate the weight of the discovery. A brief moment of reflection or an internal monologue could amplify the emotional resonance of this moment, making it more poignant for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating brief snippets of dialogue or internal thoughts from the characters while they work, to provide insight into their emotional responses to the information they are uncovering.
  • Enhance the transitions between locations by using visual motifs or thematic elements that connect the characters' experiences, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Add a moment of pause or reflection after significant discoveries, particularly for Matt, to emphasize the emotional impact of the findings and deepen the audience's connection to the characters.
  • Experiment with varying the pacing of the montage to build tension, especially leading up to Matt's discovery, to heighten the stakes and engage the audience more effectively.
  • Consider using visual cues, such as changes in lighting or camera angles, to reflect the emotional weight of the discoveries, thereby enhancing the overall atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 34 -  Confronting the Silence
90 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - DAY 90

CLOSE ON a COMPUTER SCREEN. We’re scrolling through the
EXCEL SPREADSHEET. Dozens of problematic priests.

REVEAL Mike, Sacha and Matt huddled around the computer.
Sacha reads from a large printout. Matt checks it against a
short list on a computer screen.

SACHA
Talbot. MATT
Yep.

SACHA
Tivnan. MATT
Yep.

SACHA
Toma. MATT
Yep.

SACHA
Turnbull. MATT
Yep.

SACHA
Walsh. MATT
Yep.

SACHA
Welsh. MATT
Yep.

MIKE
Is that it?

SACHA
That’s it. MATT
That’s it.

Mike looks at the screen.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Holy Shit.
11/26/14 78.


MATT
Robby?

Robby looks up from his desk. He walks over to join them.

SACHA
Three off Sipe’s estimate. That’s
incredible.

ROBBY
How many?

MATT
Eighty-seven.

MIKE
Eighty-seven priests. In Boston.

ROBBY
Call MacLeish. I wanna talk to him.

Robby takes the PRINTOUT, walks into --

91 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 91

Robby shuts his door, picks up his phone and dials. It
rings. A secretary picks up.

SECRETARY (OVER THE PHONE)
Jim Sullivan’s office.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Walter Robinson for Jim Sullivan.
Tell him it’s important.

A beat, then we hear --

JIM (OVER THE PHONE)
Hey Robby. Everything okay?

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
I need you to tell me something,
Jim. Could it be ninety priests?

JIM (OVER THE PHONE)
What?

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Could it be as high as ninety?

JIM (OVER THE PHONE)
Jesus, Robby.
11/26/14 79.


ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
I need to know, Jim. I wouldn’t be
asking if it wasn’t important.

Silence.

JIM (OVER THE PHONE)
You gotta stop this, Robby.

Click. Robby darkens. Then sees Sacha in the doorway.

SACHA
MacLeish’s assistant said he’s all
booked up, he can’t see us.

ROBBY
The hell he can’t.

Robby exits. Sacha quickly follows. Off Mike and Matt --

92 INT. ONE INTERNATIONAL PLACE, LOBBY - EARLY EVENING 92

Eric MacLeish and a colleague get off an elevator, head out.
MacLeish sees Robby and Sacha sitting in the lobby, waiting
for him. As they stand, MacLeish turns to his colleague.

MACLEISH
You know what, I’ll catch up with
you, okay?

The colleague heads off.

MACLEISH (CONT’D)
Hey guys, I’m really sorry, I am, I
don’t have any time to talk right
now, but if you call my assistant --

SACHA
Mr. MacLeish, we have reason to
believe that there have been
allegations against as many as 87
priests in Boston.

ERIC MACLEISH
I can’t talk about that.

SACHA
Does that number sound right to you?

ERIC MACLEISH
You gotta be... I don’t have time
for this crap.
11/26/14 80.


He starts to move but Robby steps in his way, angrier than
Sacha’s ever seen.

ROBBY
Eric, how many priests did you
settle?

ERIC MACLEISH
You know I can’t tell you, Robby.

ROBBY
You’re gonna give me their names.
And the names of their victims.

ERIC MACLEISH
Are you threatening me?

A beat. Robby controls himself, turns calm. Professional.

ROBBY
We’ve got two stories here. We’ve
got a story about degenerate clergy
and we’ve got a story about a bunch
of lawyers turning child abuse into
a cottage industry. Now, which
story do you want us to write?
Cause we’re writing one of them.

MacLeish recedes. Robby’s got him.

ERIC MACLEISH
I already sent you a list of names.

ROBBY
What are you talking about? To
whom?

ERIC MACLEISH
The Globe. Years ago. After the
Porter case, I got plenty of calls.
I had 20 priests in Boston but I
couldn’t go after them without
press. So I sent you guys a list of
names and you buried it.

ROBBY
I want those names tomorrow.

ERIC MACLEISH
Check your goddamn clips, Robby.

Robby turns and leaves. Sacha follows. They walk a bit.
11/26/14 81.


SACHA
We didn’t find anything in the
clips.

ROBBY
Yeah. Big surprise.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense scene set in the Globe's Spotlight office and later in the lobby of One International Place, journalists Mike, Sacha, and Matt analyze an Excel spreadsheet revealing allegations against eighty-seven priests in Boston. Robby joins them and contacts MacLeish for more information. After a fraught phone call with Jim Sullivan, Robby discovers the number may rise to ninety. He confronts MacLeish, demanding details about the priests and a hidden list of names, but MacLeish remains evasive. The scene culminates in frustration as Robby and Sacha walk away, unresolved and determined to uncover the truth.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, intense, and crucial to the plot's development. It effectively conveys the gravity of the situation and the determination of the characters. The confrontation between Robby and MacLeish adds depth and tension to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing abuse within the Church and the legal complexities surrounding it is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores the clash between journalistic integrity and legal constraints.

Plot: 9.3

The plot is significantly advanced in this scene, with key revelations and confrontations driving the narrative forward. The scene adds layers of complexity to the story and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to investigative journalism and ethical dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear. The scene showcases their determination, resilience, and ethical dilemmas. The confrontation between Robby and MacLeish reveals their conflicting perspectives.

Character Changes: 9

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it deepens the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations, values, and conflicts. The confrontation between Robby and MacLeish reveals their contrasting principles.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the scandal and hold those responsible accountable. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and integrity.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to gather information from MacLeish and confront him about the allegations against the priests. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in their investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with intense confrontations and ethical dilemmas driving the narrative. The clash between the journalists and the legal system creates tension and suspense.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and power dynamics creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the characters confront the truth about abuse within the Church and the legal system's complicity. The outcome of their investigation could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating conflicts, and setting up future developments. It propels the narrative towards a climactic resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations and power shifts between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's pursuit of truth and justice against the backdrop of corruption and cover-ups. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the system and the importance of exposing the truth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, determination, and moral outrage. The revelations and confrontations elicit strong emotional responses from the audience.

Dialogue: 9.1

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and impactful. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters. The dialogue drives the scene forward and reveals crucial information.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense dialogue, and moral dilemmas presented.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to the standard screenplay format.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and urgency as the Spotlight team uncovers the staggering number of priests involved in misconduct. The use of an Excel spreadsheet as a visual element is a strong choice, as it symbolizes the meticulous research and data-driven approach of investigative journalism.
  • The dialogue is sharp and concise, effectively conveying the gravity of the situation. The characters' reactions to the numbers are believable and reflect the emotional weight of their findings. However, the transition from the initial discovery to Robby's phone call could be smoother to maintain the flow of tension.
  • Robby's confrontation with MacLeish is a pivotal moment in the scene, showcasing the moral complexities of the investigation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while Robby is assertive, there could be a deeper exploration of his internal conflict regarding the ethical implications of their work.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the abruptness of Robby's phone call to Jim Sullivan feels slightly disjointed. It might help to include a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of the information they just uncovered before shifting to the phone call.
  • The scene ends with a strong sense of urgency as Robby demands names from MacLeish, but it could be enhanced by a more explicit emotional reaction from the team after the confrontation. This would help to underscore the stakes involved and the personal toll the investigation is taking on them.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a shared look among the team after they confirm the number of priests. This could heighten the emotional impact and allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Robby and MacLeish by incorporating more subtext that reveals Robby's internal struggle with the ethical implications of their investigation. This could add depth to his character and make the confrontation more compelling.
  • Smooth out the transition between the discovery of the spreadsheet and Robby's phone call by including a moment of reflection or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of their findings before moving to the next action.
  • Consider including a visual element that shows the team’s physical environment, such as cluttered desks or stacks of papers, to reinforce the chaotic nature of their investigation and the pressure they are under.
  • After the confrontation with MacLeish, include a moment where the team discusses their next steps or expresses their emotional reactions to the confrontation. This would provide closure to the scene and reinforce the stakes of their investigation.



Scene 35 -  Tensions Over Truth
93 INT. MIKE’S APARTMENT, EAST BOSTON - NIGHT 93

Mike boils hot dogs on the stove.

MIKE
Richard, do you still go to mass?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
No, I haven’t been to church for
some time now. But I still consider
myself a Catholic.

MIKE
How does that work?

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
The Church is an institution, Mike,
made of men. It’s passing. My
faith is in the eternal. I try to
separate the two.

MIKE
Sounds tricky.

Mike’s shakes his pen, out of ink. He crosses to his backpack
by the front door. He reaches in, digs around.

SIPE (ON SPEAKERPHONE)
It is. Especially since the Church
continues to go after me. It takes
a toll, Mike.

SIPE (CONT’D)
They’ll try to silence anyone who
speaks out. I’m sure they’ll come
after you and your team soon enough.

MIKE
And how do you think they’ll do
that? Hello? ...Richard?

Mike checks his phone. Disconnected. Huh. Suddenly,
there’s a loud KNOCK on the door. Mike JUMPS.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Who is it?
11/26/14 82.


BEN (O.C.)
The Archbishop of Canterbury.

Mike opens the door. Ben’s there with a PIZZA BOX.

BEN (CONT’D)
I had dinner at Santarpio’s, had
some leftovers.

He hands Mike the pizza.

MIKE
Ah, you’re the freakin’ best. You
want a beer?

BEN
Yeah.

Ben enters, takes in Mike’s apartment. Mike grabs two beers.

Jesus. How much longer you gonna be
in this shithole?

MIKE
Working on it.

BEN
She’s a good girl, Mike.

MIKE
Yeah, she is. We’ll figure it out. I
haven’t had a lot of time lately.
(then)
I was just on the phone with Sipe
actually.

BEN
Have you met this guy in person yet?

MIKE
No, but his knowledge of this is on
a whole other level.

Ben frowns, skeptical. Mike hands him a beer. They sit.
Mike opens the pizza box, digs in.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Oh man, I’m starving.

BEN
So, where are we on the ninety?

MIKE
Close.
11/26/14 83.


BEN
How close?

MIKE
We’re close.

BEN
Just answer the question, will you?

Mike clocks this.

MIKE
We got 87 names. We’re trying to get
confirmation. I think we will.
(then, off Ben)
Something bugging you?

BEN
Just surprising, that’s all.

MIKE
Yeah, it is. For everyone.

93A EXT. MIKE’S APARTMENT BUILDING, HALLWAY - NIGHT 93A

Ben walks out of Mike’s apartment, heads up the stairs when
Mike opens his door, calls after him.

MIKE
Hey. Ben, I forgot to ask, Phil
Saviano said he sent a bunch of info
to the Globe years ago. You have
any idea to who?

BEN
(irked)
No. Why?

MIKE
Just curious. I wanted to see if
there were any other leads you guys
didn’t run out?

BEN
(pissed off)
Saviano was a fucking train wreck
five years ago, Mike. We didn’t miss
anything. This story needed
Spotlight.

Mike’s taken aback.

MIKE
Yeah. I know. Just following up.
11/26/14 84.


Nothing more to say.

BEN
Good night.

Ben walks off. Mike watches him go.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In Mike's cluttered East Boston apartment, he engages in a serious phone conversation with Richard Sipe about faith and the Church's suppression of dissent. The call is abruptly cut off, leading to a visit from Ben, who brings pizza. As they discuss their investigation, Mike's probing questions about past leads concerning Phil Saviano spark frustration in Ben, resulting in a heated exchange. The scene ends with Ben leaving upset, highlighting the strain in their partnership amidst the weighty subject matter.
Strengths
  • Effective tension and skepticism
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Revealing crucial information
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines personal moments with crucial investigative revelations, maintaining tension and skepticism throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of uncovering the truth behind the number of priests involved in misconduct is compelling and drives the scene forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly with the revelation of the number of priests involved, adding depth to the investigation and raising the stakes.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the theme of faith and institutionalized religion, presenting nuanced characters and authentic dialogue. The authenticity of the characters' actions and beliefs adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personal struggles and interactions add layers to the scene, showcasing their complexities and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience internal conflicts and revelations, leading to subtle changes in their perspectives and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate his faith and beliefs in the face of external challenges and pressure from the Church. This reflects his deeper need for spiritual fulfillment and his fear of being silenced or persecuted for his beliefs.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to uncover the truth and confirm the information they have gathered. This reflects the immediate challenge of completing their investigation and publishing the story.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the characters' skepticism, personal struggles, and the shocking revelations, creating tension and uncertainty.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and external challenges creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident in the shocking revelation of the number of priests involved in misconduct, raising the urgency and importance of the investigation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and deepening the investigation, setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected arrival of Ben and the tension in the conversation between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between institutionalized religion and personal faith. Sipe's belief in the eternal contrasts with the Church as an institution made of men, challenging the protagonist's views on organized religion.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of concern, reflection, and urgency, resonating with the characters' emotional journeys.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys tension, skepticism, and reflection, enhancing the scene's emotional impact and investigative nature.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue, subtle tension, and the introduction of external challenges that drive the plot forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through a balance of dialogue and action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical format for a dialogue-driven scene in a screenplay, with clear character interactions and progression of the conversation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency surrounding the investigation, particularly through the dialogue between Mike and Sipe. However, the transition from the phone call to Ben's arrival feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene.
  • Mike's character is well-developed through his actions and dialogue, particularly his casual demeanor while boiling hot dogs and discussing serious topics. This juxtaposition adds depth to his character, but it could be further emphasized by showing more of his internal conflict regarding the investigation and its implications.
  • The dialogue between Mike and Ben is realistic and captures the frustration of investigative journalism. However, Ben's skepticism could be portrayed with more nuance. Instead of simply being irked, perhaps he could express concern for Mike's well-being or the potential fallout from the investigation, adding layers to their relationship.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the dialogue could benefit from more subtext. For example, when Mike mentions Saviano, Ben's reaction feels a bit one-dimensional. Adding a hint of personal history or a deeper emotional response could enrich their interaction and provide context for their current dynamic.
  • The visual elements, such as Mike's apartment and the pizza, effectively ground the scene in reality. However, more sensory details could enhance the atmosphere. Describing the smell of the pizza or the clutter in Mike's apartment could create a more vivid setting that reflects his state of mind.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Mike after the phone call with Sipe, allowing the audience to see his internal struggle with the weight of the investigation.
  • Enhance the transition between the phone call and Ben's arrival by incorporating a moment of silence or a visual cue that emphasizes Mike's contemplation before the interruption.
  • Deepen Ben's character by giving him a line that reflects his concern for Mike's emotional state or the potential consequences of their investigation, rather than just expressing irritation.
  • Introduce more subtext in the dialogue, particularly in the exchange about Saviano, to hint at past experiences or tensions that could inform their current relationship.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to create a richer atmosphere, such as describing the sounds of the boiling hot dogs or the ambiance of Mike's apartment, to better immerse the audience in the scene.



Scene 36 -  Uncovering the Truth: Systemic Issues in the Church
94 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - DAY 94

CLOSE ON an EMAILED LIST of Priests and victims.

BEN (O.C.)
This is unbelievable.

MARTY
When did you get this?

ROBBY
MacLeish emailed the list this
morning. He settled cases against
forty-five priests.

REVEAL Marty and Ben across the table from Robby and the rest
of the Spotlight team. Marty pages through the printout.

MARTY
Where are we on Law? Anything that
shows he had knowledge of this?

BEN
We’re still working Garabedian. But
nothing concrete.

Marty considers this. Then he turns to Robby.

MARTY
I keep thinking about that
conversation we had the other night.
You said Law called down the power
of God when we reported on Porter.

BEN
That’s just Law being Law.

MARTY
Okay, but I checked the clips,
Porter wasn’t even in the Boston
Archdiocese. He was in Fall River.
So, why the extreme reaction?

ROBBY
(realizing)
Law had to know.
(MORE)
11/26/14 85.

ROBBY (CONT'D)
That’s why he had the reaction. He
knew there were others.

MARTY
I think that’s the bigger story.

The team reacts. Robby watches.

MIKE
Bigger than fifty priests?

MARTY
If it came from the top down, yes.

SACHA
But the numbers clearly indicate
senior clergy were involved.

MARTY
That’s all they do, indicate.

MIKE
You’re telling me we run a ROBBY
story about fifty pedophile (stepping in)
priests in Boston -- Mike--

MARTY (CONT’D)
We’ll get into the same cat fight
you got into on Porter, which made a
lot of noise but changed things not
one bit. We need to focus on the
institution not the individual
priests. Practice and policy. Show
me the Church manipulated the system
so that these guys wouldn’t have to
face charges. Show me they put
those same priests back into
parishes, time and time again. Show
me this was systemic, that it came
from the top down.

Beat. Pretty fucking clear.

BEN
Sounds like we’re going after Law?

MARTY
We’re going after the system.

94B INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT - LATER 94B

The team enters together, heads for their desks. Robby talks
to Sacha.
11/26/14 86.


ROBBY
Make a list of all the victims we
have and start reaching out. Pull
Matt in if you need help.

SACHA
Okay.

ROBBY
(to Mike)
When you are going to Springfield?

MIKE
Hearing is Monday.

Robby nods, heads into --

94C INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 94C

Robby settles in. Starts to check e-mails.

MATT
Robby? You got a second?

Robby looks up, Matt’s in the door.

ROBBY
Yeah.

MATT
I, uh, got one of those treatment
centers a block from my house.
(then)
We got neighbors with kids. I know
our work is confidential but I feel
like I should tell ‘em.

ROBBY
We’ll tell ‘em soon.

Matt hesitates. Then nods and exits.

95-99 SUMMER VICTIM MONTAGE 95-99

In a series of quick cuts, we see --

-- Sacha (and Matt) out and about in JP, Dorchester, Mission
Hill, trying to find victims. They knock on some doors
and get no answer, they knock on others to find that
victims have moved, it’s tough to track folks down.

-- Sacha (and Matt) manage to track victims down, but face
obstacles. Obstructionist family members, reticent
victims...
11/26/14 87.


-- Finally, Sacha (and Matt) actually are let in. We see
shot after shot of them entering houses, some new, some
where they were previously denied. They’re getting the
story...
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In Marty's office at the Globe, the Spotlight team reviews a list of priests and victims, revealing that MacLeish settled cases against forty-five priests. Marty emphasizes the need to investigate systemic issues within the Church, prompting a discussion about Cardinal Law's potential knowledge of the abuse. The team agrees to focus on the larger institutional narrative rather than individual cases. Robby and Sacha are assigned to reach out to victims, while Matt expresses personal concerns about the implications of their investigation on his neighborhood. The scene ends with the team preparing for the next steps in their inquiry.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and crucial in advancing the plot by revealing the depth of the corruption within the Church. The dialogue is impactful and sets the tone for the team's investigative journey.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of delving into the systemic cover-up of child abuse within the Church is compelling and drives the narrative forward with a sense of urgency and importance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the team uncovers crucial information that shifts their focus from individual priests to the institutional corruption within the Church.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on investigative journalism and the uncovering of institutional corruption. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in reality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are driven by a sense of justice and determination to expose the truth, showcasing their commitment to the investigation and the emotional weight of their discoveries.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a shift in focus from individual priests to the systemic issue, showcasing their growth and evolving understanding of the situation.

Internal Goal: 8

Marty's internal goal is to uncover the systemic corruption within the Church and show how it came from the top down. This reflects his desire for justice and truth, as well as his fear of being silenced or ignored.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate and expose the cover-up of abuse by senior clergy within the Church. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in gathering evidence and building a case against the institution.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the team's desire to expose the truth and the obstacles they face in doing so creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and obstacles that challenge the characters' goals and beliefs.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of exposing the systemic abuse within the Church add urgency and importance to the scene, highlighting the risks and challenges faced by the team.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information that reshapes the team's investigation and sets the stage for further revelations.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters and the unexpected revelations about the extent of the corruption within the Church.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between exposing the truth and protecting the reputation of the Church. Marty and his team believe in the importance of revealing the systemic abuse, while others may prioritize maintaining the status quo.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene elicits a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in the revelation of the extent of the abuse and the team's determination to uncover the truth.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, revealing key information about the investigation and highlighting the team's evolving understanding of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense dialogue, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The audience is drawn into the investigation and the characters' quest for justice.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue-driven moments and action sequences that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format for dialogue and scene descriptions, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic investigative sequence, with a clear focus on the characters' goals and conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and urgency as the Spotlight team grapples with the implications of the emailed list of priests and victims. The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' motivations and the gravity of their investigation. However, the pacing could be improved; the scene feels a bit rushed, especially when transitioning between characters' reactions and the unfolding discussion. This could lead to a loss of emotional impact.
  • Marty's character is well-defined as a leader who pushes for a systemic investigation rather than focusing on individual cases. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext. For instance, when Marty says, 'Show me the Church manipulated the system,' it could be more powerful if he expressed personal stakes or emotional weight behind this statement, perhaps referencing a victim or a specific case that resonates with him.
  • The conflict between Mike and Marty regarding the focus of the investigation is compelling, but it could be heightened by incorporating more physicality or visual cues. For example, showing Mike's frustration through body language or facial expressions could enhance the tension and make the stakes feel more immediate.
  • The transition to the montage feels abrupt. While montages can be effective for conveying a passage of time and the team's efforts, it might be beneficial to include a brief moment of reflection or a concluding line from the team before the montage begins. This would provide a smoother transition and reinforce the emotional stakes of their work.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared look among the team after they realize the implications of the list. This could heighten the emotional weight of the discovery.
  • Incorporate more visual elements that reflect the characters' emotional states, such as close-ups of their faces during key moments of realization or tension.
  • Enhance the dialogue with subtext that reveals personal stakes for the characters, particularly for Marty, to deepen the audience's connection to their mission.
  • Before transitioning to the montage, include a line that encapsulates the team's resolve or determination, reinforcing the urgency of their investigation and providing a clearer narrative flow.



Scene 37 -  Silent Struggles: Unveiling the Church's Shadows
100 INT. RUNDOWN HOUSE, DORCHESTER - DAY 100

Sacha sits with the middle-aged-man.

MIDDLE-AGED-MAN
The Bishop came over the house. He
said nothing like this had ever
happened before, they asked us not
to press charges.

SACHA
And what did your mother do?

MIDDLE-AGED-MAN
My mother? She put out freakin’
cookies.

Sacha blinks.

103A INT. DUSSOURD APARTMENT, JAMAICA PLAIN - DAY (FORMERLY 102)
103A

A small apartment. MARYETTA DUSSOURD, 57, wears a gold cross.

DUSSOURD
There was a lot of pressure to keep
quiet.

She struggles. Matt across from her, prods...

MATT
From the Church?

DUSSOURD
Yeah, from the Church... but not
just the Church. From my friends,
from the other parishioners...

101 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - EARLY EVENING 101

CLOSE ON a spreadsheet, going up on the wall. Names of
priests, dates, reports...

SIPE (OVER THE PHONE)
Well, many of the priests I treated
were psychosexually stunted....

REVEAL Sacha putting up the list of 15 priests on the
corkboard as Matt walks over 3x5 CARDS with VICTIM’S STORIES.
In the foreground, Mike talks on the phone to Sipe.
11/26/14 88.


SIPE (OVER THE PHONE) (CONT’D)
...on the emotional level of a
twelve or thirteen year old.

MIKE
Jeez.

103 INT. COFFEE SHOP, HINGHAM - DAY 103

Sacha sits with the a COP, 40s, African-American.

COP
Sure, the chief knew, everybody
knew. But nobody wants to cuff a
priest.

SACHA
What about the prosecutor?

COP
I shouldn’t talk about this shit.

SACHA
I think you should actually.

Sacha waits, stares him down.

103a EXT. JAMAICA PLAIN - DAY 103a

Sacha talks to a painter on a ladder.

SACHA
Do you know a Father Hurley or a
Father Gale?

MAN
I do.

103aa EXT. TWO DECKER, DORCHESTER - DAY 103aa

A man yells at Matt from his porch.

MAN
You get out of here before I MATT
kick the shit out of you, Sorry to bother you. Sorry
alright? to bother you....

MAN
You leave me alone, leave my brother
alone, you hear me goddammit?
11/26/14 89.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In this tense scene, Sacha interviews a middle-aged man who recounts a bishop's visit urging silence about a troubling incident, while his mother copes by baking cookies, underscoring the absurdity of the situation. Maryetta Dussourd reveals the societal pressure to remain silent about the church's actions. Meanwhile, Sacha and Matt compile victim stories and discuss the psychological state of priests, with a cop confirming the police's reluctance to act against them. The scene culminates in Matt facing hostility from a local man, highlighting the community's defensiveness and the ongoing conflict surrounding the investigation.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Revealing crucial information
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too confrontational or heavy-handed

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and crucial for the plot development, showcasing the determination of the characters to uncover the truth behind the abuse scandal.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exposing systemic abuse within the Church is powerful and drives the scene's intensity, setting the stage for the larger investigation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the team uncovers new information and faces resistance, adding depth to the overarching story of the abuse scandal.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the investigation of a Church scandal, focusing on the personal and moral implications for the characters involved. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' interactions and reactions reveal their determination, empathy, and resilience in the face of challenging revelations, enhancing the scene's impact.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional and moral growth as they confront the harsh realities of abuse and corruption, deepening their resolve to uncover the truth.

Internal Goal: 8

Sacha's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind the Church scandal and bring justice to the victims. This reflects her deeper desire for justice and truth in the face of corruption and abuse of power.

External Goal: 7

Sacha's external goal is to gather information from various sources and build a case against the priests involved in the scandal. This reflects the immediate challenge she faces in uncovering the truth and holding the perpetrators accountable.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between the victims' experiences, the Church's attempts to cover up abuse, and the team's pursuit of the truth creates a tense and compelling atmosphere.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and motivations, adding complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of exposing widespread abuse, confronting powerful institutions, and seeking justice for victims intensify the scene's impact and urgency.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the investigation and reveals crucial information, propelling the narrative forward with new leads and challenges.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions and revelations from the characters, adding layers of complexity and intrigue to the investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between the Church's authority and the pursuit of justice. It challenges Sacha's beliefs in the integrity of religious institutions and the importance of standing up for the truth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions through the victims' stories and the team's determination, drawing the audience into the gravity of the investigation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, conveying the emotional turmoil of the victims and the team's unwavering commitment to seeking the truth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, moral dilemmas, and intense character interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome of the investigation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the investigation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre and effectively guiding the reader through the various locations and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and advancing the plot through a series of interconnected conversations and actions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of the testimonies being shared, particularly through the middle-aged man's anecdote about the bishop's visit and his mother's reaction. This juxtaposition of serious subject matter with the absurdity of baking cookies adds a layer of dark humor that can resonate with the audience, highlighting the denial and coping mechanisms of those affected.
  • The transition between the middle-aged man's story and Maryetta Dussourd's testimony is smooth, maintaining the thematic focus on the pressure to remain silent. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth in Maryetta's character to enhance her emotional impact. As it stands, her lines feel somewhat generic and could be more personalized to reflect her unique experience.
  • The use of phone calls and spreadsheets in the Spotlight office provides a nice contrast to the personal testimonies, emphasizing the investigative nature of the story. However, the scene could benefit from more visual variety to keep the audience engaged. The current structure relies heavily on dialogue, which, while important, could be complemented with more dynamic visuals or actions that reflect the characters' emotional states.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, the line 'I shouldn’t talk about this shit' from the cop feels a bit too casual given the gravity of the subject matter. A more nuanced expression of his reluctance could enhance the tension and seriousness of the conversation.
  • The scene ends with a confrontation between Matt and the man on the porch, which effectively raises the stakes and tension. However, it might be beneficial to provide a clearer motivation for Matt's presence there. Why is he approaching this man specifically? Adding a line or two to clarify his intent could strengthen the narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Consider deepening Maryetta Dussourd's character by adding specific details about her experience or emotions related to the church's pressure. This could make her testimony more impactful and relatable.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups of the characters' faces during emotional moments or reactions to the testimonies, to enhance the audience's connection to the characters.
  • Revise the cop's dialogue to reflect a more serious tone that matches the gravity of the situation. This could involve rephrasing his reluctance to speak about the church's involvement in a way that conveys his internal conflict.
  • Clarify Matt's motivation for confronting the man on the porch by adding a line that indicates what he hopes to achieve or learn from the interaction, which would provide more context for the audience.
  • Consider using a more varied pacing in the scene, alternating between quick exchanges and slower, more reflective moments to maintain engagement and emphasize the emotional weight of the testimonies.



Scene 38 -  Confronting Shadows
104 EXT. TWO FAMILY HOUSE - MALDEN, MA - LATE AFTERNOON 104

Sacha walks up to a door. The knock. A kindly looking OLDER
MAN (RONALD PAQUIN) in a checkered shirt answers the door.

SACHA
Hi, I’m looking for Ronald Paquin.

RONALD PAQUIN
Yes?

Sacha blinks, surprised.

SACHA
You’re... Father Paquin?

FATHER PAQUIN
Yes, that’s right.

SACHA
(rapid, tense)
My name is Sacha Pfeiffer, I, I’m a
reporter with the Boston Globe.

FATHER PAQUIN
Okay.

Sacha, awkward, reaches for her pad.

SACHA
Could I ask you a few questions?

FATHER PAQUIN
Go ahead, dear.

Sacha starts recording.

SACHA
We’ve talked to several men who knew
you when they were boys at St. John
the Baptist in Haverhill? They told
us you molested them? Is that true?

FATHER PAQUIN
...Sure. I fooled around. But I
never felt gratified myself.

Sacha almost hides her shock.

SACHA
Right, uh, but you admit that you
molested boys at St. John the
Baptist?
11/26/14 90.


FATHER PAQUIN
Yes, yes, but as I said, I never got
any pleasure from it. That’s
important to understand.

SACHA
Right. Can you tell me where and
how you, uh, fooled around with
these boys.

FATHER PAQUIN
I want to be clear, I never raped
anyone. There’s a difference. I
should know.

SACHA
How would you know?

FATHER PAQUIN
I was raped.

SACHA
...I’m sorry... who raped you?

JANE PAQUIN (O.C.)
Ronny? Who’re you talking to? FATHER PAQUIN
It’s okay, Jane.

SACHA (CONT’D)
Father Paquin, who raped you?

Paquin’s sister, JANE PAQUIN, 50s, comes to the door.

JANE PAQUIN
Who are you? SACHA
Sacha Pfeiffer, I’m with the
Globe--

JANE PAQUIN
Please get off my porch. FATHER PAQUIN
I can speak for myself, Jane.

JANE PAQUIN
Get inside the house, Ronald. SACHA
I just have a few more--

JANE PAQUIN
Get inside, Ronnie. SACHA
I’m sorry, who are you?

JANE PAQUIN
I’m his sister, and I don’t SACHA
want you coming back here. Ms. Paquin --
11/26/14 91.


But Jane SLAMS the door. Sacha stands there for a moment,
STUNNED. Then she turns, quickly heads down the walkway,
scribbling notes. She pauses as she reaches the sidewalk,
finishing up. Two CHILDREN ride past on bikes. She’s VISIBLY
SHAKEN by the encounter.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense encounter at Ronald Paquin's home, reporter Sacha Pfeiffer confronts the priest about allegations of molestation. Paquin admits to inappropriate behavior but complicates the narrative by revealing he was raped. The interview takes a turn when his sister, Jane, fiercely defends him, demanding Sacha leave. The confrontation ends abruptly with Jane slamming the door, leaving Sacha visibly shaken and questioning the complexities of the situation.
Strengths
  • Tense and shocking confrontation
  • Emotional impact on characters
  • Revealing crucial information
Weaknesses
  • Awkwardness in interactions
  • Limited resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly impactful, with a strong emotional and conflict-driven narrative that keeps the audience engaged. The shocking revelations and tense interactions contribute to a compelling storyline.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of confronting a priest accused of abuse adds depth to the narrative, shedding light on the difficult conversations and revelations faced by investigative journalists. The scene explores themes of accountability and truth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is driven forward by the confrontation with Father Paquin, revealing crucial information about the abuse scandal. The scene adds layers to the overarching story and sets up further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene tackles a sensitive and controversial topic with authenticity and depth, presenting a fresh perspective on the issue of child abuse within the Catholic Church.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Sacha and Father Paquin, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting emotions and motivations. The interactions between the characters drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

The confrontation with Father Paquin leads to a shift in Sacha's perspective and understanding of the abuse scandal, impacting her emotionally and professionally. Father Paquin's revelations also hint at internal struggles and complexities.

Internal Goal: 9

Sacha's internal goal is to uncover the truth about the allegations of child molestation against Father Paquin. This reflects her deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 8

Sacha's external goal is to get Father Paquin to admit to the allegations of molestation and gather information for her investigative report.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with intense confrontations and shocking revelations driving the narrative forward. The emotional stakes are raised, adding depth to the storyline.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotional barriers between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the confrontation with Father Paquin uncovers shocking truths about the abuse scandal and challenges the characters' beliefs and values. The personal and professional risks are heightened.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the abuse scandal and setting up further investigations. The confrontation with Father Paquin adds depth to the narrative and propels the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected reactions of the characters and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the moral values of truth and accountability versus the protection of reputation and denial of wrongdoing.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting strong reactions from the audience through tense and shocking moments. The personal revelations and confrontations create a powerful emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is tense and impactful, capturing the emotional intensity of the confrontation. The exchanges between Sacha and Father Paquin reveal important details and add depth to their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, emotional stakes, and the conflict between characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear dialogue and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard format for a dramatic confrontation, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and discomfort of interviewing an accused priest, showcasing Sacha's professionalism and the gravity of the situation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional weight. For instance, Sacha's initial shock at Father Paquin's admission could be more pronounced through her body language or internal thoughts, rather than just her dialogue.
  • Father Paquin's character is intriguing, but his responses could be more nuanced. His admission of molestation followed by the claim of not feeling gratified feels somewhat detached. This could be an opportunity to explore his psychological state further, perhaps through a flashback or a more detailed explanation of his past experiences, which would add depth to his character and the scene.
  • The introduction of Jane Paquin adds an interesting layer of conflict, but her abruptness could be softened to create a more complex dynamic. Instead of simply demanding Sacha leave, she could express concern for her brother in a way that reveals her protective instincts, making her character more relatable and less antagonistic.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly during the exchange between Sacha and Father Paquin. Allowing for pauses or moments of silence could heighten the tension and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the conversation. This would also allow Sacha's emotional response to develop more organically.
  • The visual elements are effective, particularly the contrast between Sacha's professional demeanor and the unsettling nature of the conversation. However, incorporating more sensory details—such as the sounds of the neighborhood or the physical environment—could enhance the atmosphere and immerse the audience further into the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding internal monologue or descriptive action to convey Sacha's emotional state more vividly during the interview, allowing the audience to connect with her experience.
  • Explore Father Paquin's character further by providing more context for his actions and feelings. This could involve a brief flashback or a more detailed explanation of his past trauma.
  • Develop Jane Paquin's character by giving her a more complex motivation for her protective behavior. This could involve her expressing concern for her brother's well-being rather than simply being confrontational.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more dramatic pauses, which can enhance the tension and give the audience time to process the implications of the conversation.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to create a richer atmosphere, such as the sounds of children playing nearby or the physical sensations Sacha experiences during the interview.



Scene 39 -  Tensions in the Courtroom
105 INT. HAMPDEN SUPERIOR COURT, COURTROOM, SPRINGFIELD, MA - DAY
105

Mike watching the Globe’s lawyer, JON ALBANO, 50s, white
beard and moustache, present to JUDGE CONSTANCE SWEENEY, 40s.

JUDGE SWEENEY
Could you please clarify the Globe’s
position for me, Mr. Albano?

The courtroom’s empty, Garabedian at one desk, WILSON D.
ROGERS JR., 60s, the Church’s lawyer, at another.

ALBANO
Yes, Judge Sweeney. Our argument to
make these documents public rests
mainly on 1st amendment grounds. We
also have a number of other relevant
arguments. After all, your honor,
this was a discretionary order...

JUDGE SWEENEY
Yes, Mr. Albano, it was made at the
Judge’s discretion...

Mike FIGHTS TEDIUM... until a REPORTER slides in next to him.

HERALD REPORTER (JOE QUIMBY)
Hey Mike.

MIKE
Hey Joe.

HERALD REPORTER
What’s a Spotlight reporter doing in
Springfield?

Mike doesn’t answer.

HERALD REPORTER (CONT’D)
Your man Albano’s sledding uphill.
You really think you have a shot at
winning this thing?

MIKE
You want me to comment for the
Herald?
11/26/14 92.


QUIMBY
(writing on his pad)
“Globe reporter would not comment
but did not seem hopeful.”

Mike settles in. Gonna be a long day.

106 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE/ROBBY’S OFFICE - DAY 106

Sacha downloads Robby. We see a large map of Boston on a
desk, neighborhoods circled, writing and Post-its noting
priests and victims.

SACHA
He didn’t try to hide it at all, he
had this odd rationalization for it.
Like it was normal to fool around
with little boys.

Nearby, we see Matt adding 3x5 victim cards to the wall. On
the wall, 19 OF ROUGHLY 50 PRIESTS have cards. [N.B.: The
priests (and victims) should be grouped by neighborhood].

SACHA (CONT’D)
I’d really like to go back. I think
he’d talk to us.

ROBBY
We will. Just not yet... Let’s
stay focused on victims right now.

MATT
Sacha, where’d they send Father
Talbot again?

SACHA
I think it was Cheverus? MATT
Yeah, that’s right.

ROBBY
Father Talbot? From BC High?

SACHA
Yeah. You know him?

ROBBY
He was there when I was. We have a
victim?

MATT
Yeah. He lives in Providence.

Matt hands him the card. Robby stares down at the name.
11/26/14 93.


108 INT. HAMPDEN SUPERIOR COURT, COURTROOM - DAY 108

Mike is still listing.

ALBANO
There’s nothing personal in these
documents, your honor, they concern
how the Cardinal is handling--

JUDGE SWEENEY
Say the Archdiocese.

ALBANO
Er, excuse me?

JUDGE SWEENEY
You don’t get to tag the Cardinal
with everything, Mr. Albano. Say
the Archdiocese.

Albano looks flustered.

WILSON D. ROGERS JR.
Judge Sweeney, the Globe isn’t a
party to this case, they just want
to sell papers. If Mr. Garabedian
hadn’t smeared the Cardinal’s good
name, we wouldn’t even be here.

GARABEDIAN
Your honor, I object to the use of
the word smear.

JUDGE SWEENEY
Duly noted, Mr. Garabedian.

Garabedian, angry, mutters under his breath. Mike catches it.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In the Hampden Superior Court, Jon Albano argues for the public release of documents related to the Archdiocese, facing scrutiny from Judge Constance Sweeney and opposition from the Church's lawyer, Wilson D. Rogers Jr. The atmosphere is charged as Garabedian, representing the victims, objects to accusations of sensationalism. Meanwhile, Mike observes the proceedings and engages with reporter Joe Quimby about the Globe's chances in the case. The scene highlights the escalating conflict over accountability and justice, culminating in a tense courtroom dynamic.
Strengths
  • Strong focus on the legal battle
  • Tension and seriousness effectively portrayed
  • Sharp dialogue and well-defined characters
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of significant character changes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on the legal battle and the interactions between the lawyers. It effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the situation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the legal battle in court is well-developed and effectively portrayed. It adds depth to the overall narrative and highlights the challenges faced by the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the legal battle and the arguments presented by the lawyers. It moves the story forward and adds complexity to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the legal drama genre by focusing on the ethical implications of investigative journalism and the clash between media and religious institutions. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions are grounded in realistic motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly the lawyers, are well-defined and their motivations are clear. Their interactions add depth to the conflict and drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between the lawyers reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

Mike's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the legal battle and uphold the values of investigative journalism, despite facing opposition from the Church and legal system.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to win the legal battle and have the documents made public, which reflects the immediate challenge of facing off against the Church's lawyer in court.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the Globe's lawyer and the Church's lawyer is central to the scene, creating tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and power struggles between the characters that create uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the legal battle and the pursuit of justice add intensity to the scene, showcasing the importance of the outcome for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting the legal battle and the challenges faced by the characters. It sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the legal arguments and the shifting power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the values of freedom of the press and the Church's desire to protect its reputation. This challenges Mike's beliefs in the importance of investigative journalism and holding powerful institutions accountable.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of tension and seriousness, but the emotional impact is not as pronounced as in other scenes with more personal interactions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and focused, highlighting the arguments presented by the lawyers and the tension in the courtroom. It adds to the overall realism of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes legal battle, the conflict between the characters, and the moral dilemmas faced by the protagonist.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through well-paced dialogue exchanges and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, character descriptions, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a courtroom drama, with clear dialogue exchanges and a focus on the legal arguments being presented.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension of a courtroom setting, particularly through the interactions between the lawyers and the judge. However, the dialogue could be tightened to enhance the pacing and maintain the audience's engagement. Some lines feel repetitive, particularly in the exchanges between Albano and Judge Sweeney, which could be streamlined to convey the same information more succinctly.
  • The introduction of the Herald reporter, Joe Quimby, adds a layer of external pressure on Mike, but the interaction lacks depth. It would benefit from more subtext or a hint of rivalry to elevate the stakes of the courtroom scene. As it stands, it feels somewhat like filler rather than a meaningful contribution to the narrative.
  • The transition between the courtroom and the Spotlight office is abrupt. While it serves to show the parallel efforts of the team, the shift could be smoother. Consider using a visual or auditory cue to bridge the two locations, such as a voiceover from Mike reflecting on the courtroom proceedings as the scene shifts to the office.
  • In the Spotlight office, the dialogue among Sacha, Robby, and Matt is informative but could be more dynamic. The characters are discussing serious topics, yet the tone remains somewhat flat. Infusing more emotional weight or urgency into their conversation could enhance the scene's impact, especially given the gravity of the subject matter.
  • The visual elements in the Spotlight office, such as the map and victim cards, are effective in illustrating the investigation's scope. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive language to paint a vivid picture of the environment and the characters' emotional states. This would help the audience connect more deeply with the characters' struggles.
Suggestions
  • Revise the dialogue between Albano and Judge Sweeney to eliminate redundancy and enhance clarity. Focus on making each line count to maintain the courtroom's tension.
  • Deepen the interaction between Mike and Joe Quimby by adding subtext or a hint of competition, which could raise the stakes and provide insight into Mike's state of mind.
  • Create a smoother transition between the courtroom and the Spotlight office by incorporating a voiceover or a visual cue that connects the two scenes thematically.
  • Infuse the dialogue in the Spotlight office with more urgency and emotional weight, reflecting the seriousness of their investigation and the impact on the victims involved.
  • Enhance the descriptive elements in the Spotlight office scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience, allowing them to visualize the environment and feel the characters' emotional struggles.



Scene 40 -  Uncovering the Truth
109 EXT. HAMPDEN SUPERIOR COURT, SPRINGFIELD, MA - LATER 109

Garabedian sits on the courthouse steps, eating a packed
lunch out of tupperware. Simmering.

MIKE
How you doing, Mitch?

Mike walks up, sits down.

GARABEDIAN
I’m fine.

MIKE
(pushing him)
He’s tough, that Wilson Rogers.
11/26/14 94.


GARABEDIAN
He’s smug. And he’s sloppy.

MIKE
He doesn’t seem sloppy.

GARABEDIAN
You don’t know the half of it.
Trust me.

MIKE
What’s the half of it?
(then)
Tell me the half of it, Mitch.

Garabedian looks at him, wrestling with something.

GARABEDIAN
Off the record.

MIKE
Off the record.

GARABEDIAN
Three years ago, I get a call from
an ex-Priest. Anthony Benzevich.
He was at Blessed Sacrament back in
‘62 and he saw Geoghan taking little
boys up to the Rectory bedroom.
Benzevich was appalled, he told the
Bishop. And the Bishop threatened
to reassign him. To South America.

MIKE
Jeez.

GARABEDIAN
Yeah. So, fast-forward 35 years,
Benzevich reads Geoghan’s been
charged with molesting more than a
hundred kids. Benzevich feels
guilty, he calls me.

MIKE
You have testimony from a priest
telling his superiors about Geoghan
in 62’?

GARABEDIAN
No, I do not. Because when I call
Benzevich in to give a deposition,
he shows up with a lawyer.
11/26/14 95.


MIKE
Wilson Rogers.

GARABEDIAN
Suddenly, Father Benzevich has a
foggy memory. Can’t remember
anything. He’s useless. So I go
back to work, I forget about it,
whatever. Until about a year ago. I
find an article about a priest who
warned church officials about
Geoghan.

MIKE
(stunned)
Benzevich went to the press.

GARABEDIAN
Local paper, Patriot Ledger, nobody
saw it. But now I got Benzevich on
record, so I file a motion to depose
him a second time. And Wilson
Rogers, that smug son of a bitch, he
files a motion opposing my motion.
And that’s when I have him!

MIKE
Have him how?

GARABEDIAN
Rogers opposes my motion. So I gotta
make an argument as to why I’m
allowed to depose Father Benzevich a
second time. But now, I’m allowed
to attach exhibits. You follow what
I’m saying?

MIKE
The sealed documents...

GARABEDIAN
Yes, I can use the sealed documents
I’ve gotten in discovery, Mr.
Rezendes, the same documents your
paper is currently suing for.

MIKE
You’re shitting me.

GARABEDIAN
No, I am not shitting you. So I
pull out the 14 most damning docs
and I attach them to my motion. And
they prove everything.
(MORE)
11/26/14 96.

GARABEDIAN (CONT'D)
About the Church, about the bishops,
about Law...

MIKE
And it’s all public? Because your
motion to oppose Rogers’ motion...

GARABEDIAN
...is public. That’s correct. Now
you’re paying attention.

MIKE
(head spinning)
So I can just walk into the
courthouse right now and get those
documents?

GARABEDIAN
No. You cannot. Because the
documents are not there.

MIKE
But you just said they’re public.

GARABEDIAN
I know I did. But this is Boston.
And the Church doesn’t want them to
be found. So they are not there.

MIKE
Mitch, are you telling me that the
Catholic Church had legal documents
removed from the courthouse?

Mitch collects his things, turns to Mike. With clarity.

GARABEDIAN
Look, I’m not crazy, I’m not
paranoid, I’m experienced. Check
the docket, you’ll see. They control
everything. Everything.

Mitch exits. Mike watches him go, UNNERVED. Is Mitch right?
And was that just the mother of all tips? A beat... then
Mike grabs his stuff and runs towards his car.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary On the steps of Hampden Superior Court, Mitch Garabedian expresses frustration over the Catholic Church's legal maneuvers while discussing a past encounter with ex-priest Anthony Benzevich, who reported misconduct but was ignored. Garabedian reveals his attempts to depose Benzevich, who now has a foggy memory, and his discovery of sealed documents containing incriminating evidence against the Church. Despite opposition from lawyer Wilson Rogers, Garabedian files a motion to depose Benzevich again, but warns Mike that the Church likely removed the documents. The scene concludes with Mike feeling uneasy about the Church's influence over the legal proceedings.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension and suspense
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Complexity of legal proceedings may be challenging for some viewers to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension and intrigue as crucial information is revealed. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the narrative forward and keeping the audience on edge.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of exposing the Church's cover-ups and manipulations is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively conveys the complexity of the investigative process and the moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Plot: 9.3

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with major revelations about the Church's actions and the characters' strategies to uncover the truth. The stakes are raised, setting the stage for further conflict and resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the legal drama genre by delving into the complexities of child abuse cases within the Catholic Church. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene. Each character's actions and reactions contribute to the tension and drama of the moment.

Character Changes: 9

While there are no explicit character changes in this scene, the revelations and conflicts experienced by the characters contribute to their growth and development throughout the narrative.

Internal Goal: 9

Garabedian's internal goal in this scene is to expose the corruption and cover-up within the Catholic Church regarding child abuse cases. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 8

Garabedian's external goal is to gather evidence to support his case against the Church and Wilson Rogers. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in proving his claims.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.4

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving personal, professional, and ethical dilemmas for the characters. The power struggle between the Church and the journalists adds to the high stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Garabedian facing resistance from the Church and Wilson Rogers in his pursuit of justice.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in this scene, as the characters confront the powerful forces of the Church and grapple with the implications of their discoveries. The risks and consequences are palpable.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story by uncovering key information, raising the stakes, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. It propels the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable as new information is revealed, and the power dynamics between characters shift unexpectedly.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between truth and power. Garabedian's pursuit of justice challenges the Church's authority and control over information.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, ranging from shock to outrage to empathy for the characters. The revelations and confrontations heighten the emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals crucial information about the characters and the unfolding story. It drives the scene forward and keeps the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and the revelation of crucial information.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through rapid-fire dialogue and escalating stakes.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of screenplay writing, with proper scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama, with a clear progression of events and dialogue that advances the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the dialogue between Mike and Garabedian, revealing critical information about the Church's influence and the legal battle surrounding the case. However, the pacing could be improved by tightening some of the dialogue to maintain a more urgent tone, especially as the stakes are high.
  • Garabedian's character is well-developed through his frustration and determination, but the scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the emotional weight of his revelations. For instance, showing his body language or facial expressions could add depth to his character and the gravity of the situation.
  • The dialogue is informative, but at times it feels overly expository. While it's important to convey the backstory, consider breaking up the exposition with more dynamic interactions or reactions from Mike to keep the audience engaged.
  • The setting of the courthouse steps is appropriate, but it could be more vividly described to create a stronger atmosphere. Adding sensory details about the environment could help immerse the audience in the scene and reflect the tension of the legal proceedings.
  • The ending leaves the audience with a sense of urgency, but it could be enhanced by showing Mike's immediate reaction to the information. Instead of just having him run towards his car, consider including a moment of reflection or a decision-making process that highlights the weight of what he has just learned.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to enhance the pacing and urgency of the scene, ensuring that each line serves to heighten tension or develop character.
  • Incorporate more visual elements and body language to convey the emotional stakes of the conversation, particularly Garabedian's frustration and determination.
  • Break up the exposition with more dynamic interactions or reactions from Mike to maintain audience engagement and avoid feeling overly informative.
  • Enhance the setting description to create a more immersive atmosphere that reflects the tension of the legal proceedings and the weight of the conversation.
  • Add a moment of reflection or decision-making for Mike at the end of the scene to emphasize the significance of the information he has just received and its potential impact on the investigation.



Scene 41 -  The Empty Folder
110 EXT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - LATER 110

Mike gets out of his car, runs across same street into the
courthouse.
11/26/14 97.


111 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, RECORDS ROOM - DAY 111

A mousy looking CLERK #2 (O’BRIAN) pushes a BINDER across a
help desk to... Mike. Who starts going through the file.

CLERK #2 (O’BRIAN)
Docket entry #49 in the Geoghan
case.
(then)
We’re closing in ten minutes.

CLOSE ON DOCKET ENTRY #49: Plaintiff’s opposition to
Reverend Anthony Benzevich’s Motion for Protective Order.
Dated APR 2, 2001. And a list of 14 exhibits.

Mike, excited, opens the file, finds the motion and a FOLDER,
EXHIBITS A - N. Mike opens it. It’s empty. HOLY SHIT.

112 INT. ROBBY’S HOUSE, ROBBY’S HOME OFFICE - EARLY EVENING 112

Robby stands, searching through bookshelves... until he finds
a BC HIGH YEARBOOK. He flips to the faculty page, homing in
on a PHOTO... FATHER JAMES TALBOT. A beat. His phone RINGS.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Robby.

MIKE (OVER THE PHONE)
Hey, it’s me. You’re not gonna
believe it.

113 EXT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - SAME TIME113

Mike is walking out of the courthouse.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Garabedian gave me a tip, some of
the sealed docs are already public.
They’re part of a motion he filed.
He said they’re the best of the
bunch, we don’t have to wait for
Sweeney’s ruling.

INTERCUT THE TWO SCENES

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
So we can get them?

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Yeah, but they’re not there! I
already talked to Albano, he said
all we have to do is file a motion
and Sweeney will order Mitch to
refile the docs.
11/26/14 98.


ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
And you think these documents are...

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
He said these 14 docs are all we
need. They’re huge, Robby.

ROBBY
Okay. I’ll call Ben. Good work.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense scene at the Suffolk County Courthouse, Mike rushes into the records room searching for crucial documents related to the Geoghan case. He is shocked to find a key folder empty, heightening the urgency of his investigation. Meanwhile, Robby discovers a photo of Father James Talbot while looking through a yearbook at home. Mike calls Robby to share a tip about sealed documents that have become public, discussing their next steps to obtain them despite the setback. The scene concludes with Robby agreeing to contact Ben to pursue the necessary documents.
Strengths
  • Effective pacing
  • Tension-building
  • Revealing crucial information
Weaknesses
  • Empty folder revelation could be cliche

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, with a clear purpose of advancing the investigation by revealing important information. The tension and excitement build up effectively, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of uncovering hidden documents to expose the truth adds depth to the investigation storyline. It showcases the dedication and persistence of the journalists in pursuing justice.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the characters make a breakthrough in their investigation. The discovery of the sealed documents raises the stakes and propels the story towards a crucial turning point.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to legal drama, focusing on the characters' determination to uncover hidden documents. The dialogue feels authentic and drives the plot forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene are well-developed, reflecting their individual motivations and the collective goal of uncovering the truth. Each character's role contributes to the progression of the investigation.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' perspectives and motivations are further developed as they confront new challenges and revelations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover crucial documents that will help their case. This reflects their desire for justice and truth.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to obtain the sealed documents that will strengthen their case. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in their legal battle.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with the implications of the discovered documents and the ethical decisions they must make. The tension arises from the urgency to act on the new information.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the characters face challenges in obtaining the documents and navigating the legal system.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters uncover key evidence that could expose widespread corruption and abuse within the Church. The outcome of their actions could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial plot point that will drive future events. It sets the stage for further investigation and confrontations with the Church.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' unexpected discoveries and the challenges they face in obtaining the documents.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the pursuit of justice and the legal system's bureaucracy. The characters are challenging the system to uncover the truth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from excitement to frustration, as the characters navigate the complexities of their investigation. The audience is drawn into the high-stakes nature of the discovery.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and serves the purpose of conveying important information while also revealing the characters' emotions and intentions. It effectively drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and the characters' determination to uncover the truth.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on the characters' goals.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by placing Mike in a race against time, which is a common trope in investigative journalism narratives. However, the urgency could be heightened by incorporating more sensory details, such as the sounds of the courthouse or the atmosphere of impending closure, to immerse the audience further.
  • The dialogue between Mike and Robby is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys critical information, it could benefit from more subtext or personal stakes to enhance the connection between the characters and the gravity of their discovery.
  • The transition between the courthouse and Robby's home office feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the scene's momentum and keep the audience engaged. Consider using a visual or auditory cue that links the two locations more cohesively.
  • The introduction of the clerk, O'Brian, is minimal and does not add much to the scene. Providing a brief moment that showcases O'Brian's character or attitude could add depth to the interaction and make the setting feel more populated and realistic.
  • The revelation of the empty folder is a strong moment, but it could be enhanced by showing Mike's physical reaction more vividly. Instead of just stating 'HOLY SHIT,' consider describing his body language or facial expressions to convey his shock and frustration more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Add sensory details to the courthouse setting to create a more immersive experience for the audience, such as the echo of footsteps or the ticking of a clock as time runs out.
  • Infuse the dialogue with emotional stakes by having Mike express his frustration or fear about the implications of the missing documents, which would deepen the audience's investment in the characters' journey.
  • Consider using a visual transition, such as a shot of Mike's determined face as he leaves the courthouse, followed by a cut to Robby at home, to create a more fluid connection between the two scenes.
  • Develop O'Brian's character slightly by giving him a memorable line or reaction that reflects the tension of the situation, making the interaction feel more dynamic.
  • Enhance the moment of discovery by describing Mike's physical reaction to the empty folder, such as a gasp or a moment of disbelief, to convey the emotional weight of the situation more powerfully.



Scene 42 -  Breaking News: The World Trade Center Attack
114 EXT. GLOBE, PARKING LOT - EARLY MORNING 114

Marty gets out of his car and walks toward the building. It’s
a beautiful September morning.

115 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - MOMENTS LATER 115

It’s pretty empty. Marty walks in, heads toward his office,
but slows when SOMETHING on a TV catches his attention. He
walks to the TV, joins A YOUNG REPORTER already watching.

MARTY
What happened?

YOUNG REPORTER
They’re saying it’s a prop plane but
that’s not a prop plane.

We glimpse the TV. The World Trade Center. On fire.

MARTY
Tell Linda to get every reporter we
have in here now.

116 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - DAY 116

CLOSE ON a TV. Cardinal Law addressing a large group of
reporters, citizens in front of the Cathedral.

CARDINAL LAW (REAL FOOTAGE)
You pray for the injured, and those
who survived. You pray, too, for
the nation, that our response might
reflect our best ideals and God’s
teaching as it is found in
Christianity and Islam as well.

REVEAL a group watching TV in the corner of the newsroom, Ben
front and center. Robby, Matt, Sacha are off to the side.

BEN
Not bad. Who’s there?
11/26/14 99.


FEMALE EDITOR
Paulson.

Ben starts to move, an editor at his side.

BEN
I wanna talk to him when he’s back.
(to Robby)
Did Rezendes find a way to get to
Florida?

ROBBY
They just opened the airport in
Providence, he’s on his way there
now.

News to Sacha and Matt.

CANELLOS
Ben, I’m gonna need more people on
Massport.

BEN
I’ll give you three of my guys.
Robby, put your team on that too.

ROBBY
Got it.

BEN
And Robby, everything else stops.

ROBBY
Understood.

Ben heads off.

MATT
Why’s Mike going to Florida?

ROBBY
Flight school. It’s where they
learned to fly.

SACHA
Robby, I’ve got a lot of victim
interviews set up this week.

ROBBY
You’re gonna have to cancel ‘em.

SACHA
That’s going to be hard.
11/26/14 100.


MATT
This is nuts. Two days ago, I told
my wife we gotta be working the
biggest story on the planet....

Robby nods as we PAN to Reception. Linda and several others
taking calls.

LINDA
Boston Globe. We have no RECEPTIONIST 1
knowledge of additional Boston Globe. One second
threats. please.

RECEPTIONIST 2
Yes, if you have a tip I’ll transfer
you to the metro desk.

Off the RINGING PHONES --
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary On a September morning, Marty arrives at the Globe newsroom to find a TV broadcasting the World Trade Center on fire. He quickly calls for all reporters as the team, led by Ben, strategizes on how to cover the unfolding crisis. Amidst the chaos, reporters express concerns about the story's magnitude and the need to cancel prior commitments. The scene captures the urgency and tension in the newsroom as they scramble to respond to the breaking news, with ringing phones indicating the high demand for information.
Strengths
  • Realistic portrayal of a newsroom environment during a crisis
  • Strong sense of urgency and tension
  • Effective character reactions and interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of individual character arcs
  • Dialogue could be more dynamic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the urgency and tension of breaking news, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding events.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the immediate reactions and actions of journalists in response to breaking news is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around the characters' response to breaking news, driving the narrative forward and setting up future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to covering a major news event, focusing on the behind-the-scenes actions of journalists. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in response to the breaking news are authentic and engaging, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in focus and urgency due to the breaking news, leading to potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Marty's internal goal is to mobilize his team and cover the breaking news effectively. This reflects his need to be a competent leader in a crisis.

External Goal: 9

Marty's external goal is to coordinate the news coverage of the World Trade Center attack and ensure his team is on top of the story. This reflects the immediate challenge of reporting on a major event.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict arises from the urgency of the breaking news and the characters' need to respond quickly and decisively.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene comes from the challenges of covering a major news event and making difficult decisions under pressure.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters grapple with the impact of breaking news and the need to respond effectively in a fast-paced environment.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major event and setting up future investigations and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected events and decisions made by the characters in response to the breaking news.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the need for accurate reporting and the emotional impact of the tragedy. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the role of journalism in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of concern and determination in the characters, resonating with the audience's emotions.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation, with characters reacting realistically to the unfolding events.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and realistic dialogue.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the sense of urgency.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a newsroom drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and chaos of a newsroom responding to a major breaking news event, which is crucial for setting the tone of the story. However, the transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. The emotional weight of the previous scene regarding the church's abuse scandal could be better connected to the gravity of the events unfolding on September 11, 2001.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys the necessary information, it could benefit from more character-driven interactions that reveal the personal stakes for the reporters involved. For instance, how does this news impact their ongoing investigation into the church? Adding layers to their reactions could enhance the scene's emotional resonance.
  • The pacing of the scene is quick, which is appropriate for a breaking news scenario, but it may leave viewers feeling detached from the characters. Slowing down at key moments to allow characters to express their feelings or concerns could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • The use of real footage of Cardinal Law is a powerful choice, but it could be more impactful if the characters' reactions to his words were more pronounced. This could serve to juxtapose their ongoing investigation with the church's public image, highlighting the tension between the two narratives.
  • The scene introduces several characters and their roles in the newsroom, but it could benefit from clearer character dynamics. For example, how do Robby, Matt, and Sacha feel about the shift in focus from their investigation to the breaking news? Establishing their emotional stakes would add depth to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or dialogue that connects the urgency of the breaking news to the ongoing investigation into the church. This could help maintain narrative continuity and deepen the emotional stakes.
  • Incorporate more character-driven dialogue that reveals the personal impact of the news on the reporters. This could include their fears, frustrations, or motivations related to both the breaking news and their investigation.
  • Allow for a moment of silence or a pause after the initial shock of the news is revealed. This could give characters a chance to process the gravity of the situation and create a more poignant emotional impact.
  • Enhance the reactions of the characters to Cardinal Law's address. This could involve facial expressions, body language, or brief exchanges that highlight their skepticism or anger towards the church's public statements.
  • Clarify the relationships and dynamics between the characters in the newsroom. This could involve adding small moments of camaraderie or tension that reflect their shared history and the weight of the story they are covering.



Scene 43 -  Tensions Rise: A Race Against Time
117 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 117

Garabedian works at his desk. The phone rings, he picks up.

GARABEDIAN (INTO PHONE)
Mitchell Garabedian.

118 INT. MIKE’S CAR (MOVING), I-95 - DAY 118

Mike speeds frantically down I-95 towards Providence, phone
to his ear. It’s ringing.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Mitch, it’s Mike, I’ve been trying
to reach you...

GARABEDIAN (OVER THE PHONE)
I don’t have time to talk to you,
Mr. Rezendes.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Did you refile those documents yet?

GARABEDIAN (OVER THE PHONE)
No, I just got the order, it takes
time.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Okay, great. Can you to hold off on
refiling them?
11/26/14 101.


GARABEDIAN MIKE
Hold off? I have to go to Florida, once
you refile, they’re public,
other newspapers will be able
to get a hold of...

GARABEDIAN (INTO PHONE)
Other newspapers are not my concern.
I received a judicial order, I told
you the Church is watching me...

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Mitch, please, I just need a few
weeks.

GARABEDIAN (INTO PHONE)
I can’t make any promises. Goodbye.

Garabedian hangs up.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Mitch? Mitch! Shit!

119 EXT. T-STOP, BOSTON - DAY 119

The season has changed. The leaves are all but gone. Sacha
emerges from the subway, crosses the street.

120 INT. BAR, JAMAICA PLAIN - SAME TIME 120

A relatively empty bar. ON TV, we see CNN coverage of the US
BOMBING IN AFGHANISTAN. Phil Saviano sits in a booth across
from Sacha. Phil’s on the edge.

SAVIANO
Look, I get it, no one wants to read
about kids getting raped by priests.
Especially now. But you asked a lot
of people to relive some very
painful experiences and then you
disappear!

SACHA
Phil, you know why we were SAVIANO
taken off the story. It’s been six weeks since
9/11.

SACHA
I realize that and we’re going to
get back to it.

SAVIANO
When? You’re doing the same SACHA
thing you guys did last time-- ...no...
11/26/14 102.


SAVIANO
--you’re dropping us! Maybe I
should tell the Herald that story!

SACHA
Okay, Phil. You can do that, it’ll
undo all the work we’ve done. But I
can’t stop you.

Phil looks away, but quiets.

SACHA (CONT’D)
Listen to me. I am here because I
care. We are not going away. We
are not going away. We are going to
tell this story and we’re going to
tell it right. We just need more
time, that’s all we’re asking for.

PHIL
Why bother asking? You’re gonna do
what you want anyway. You always do.

He gets up and leaves.

SACHA
Phil. Phil...

But he’s gone. Off Sacha --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In this tense scene, Garabedian receives a frantic call from Mike, who is desperate to delay the refiled documents related to a sensitive Church case. Garabedian, bound by a judicial order, cannot comply, leading to a heated exchange before he hangs up. Meanwhile, Sacha meets Phil Saviano in a bar, where Phil expresses his frustration over the stalled progress on their abuse story. Despite Sacha's reassurances, Phil feels abandoned and leaves in anger, highlighting the emotional strain and urgency surrounding their investigation.
Strengths
  • Emotional intensity
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of resolution in the confrontation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional intensity and conflict between the characters, driving the narrative forward with a sense of urgency and determination.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the challenges and obstacles faced in investigative journalism, highlighting the perseverance and dedication required to uncover the truth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the confrontation between Sacha and Phil, showcasing the obstacles and conflicts that the investigative team must overcome in their pursuit of justice.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of investigative journalism and ethical dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Sacha and Phil are well-developed in this scene, with distinct personalities and motivations driving their interactions. Their emotional depth adds layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Sacha experiences a shift in her determination and resolve, while Phil's frustration and skepticism are highlighted, showcasing subtle character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Garabedian to hold off on refiling the documents to give him more time to investigate the story. This reflects Mike's deeper need to uncover the truth and expose the wrongdoing of the Church.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to delay the refiling of the documents to prevent other newspapers from getting hold of them before he can fully investigate the story. This reflects the immediate challenge Mike is facing in balancing the need for time with the pressure to act quickly.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Sacha and Phil is intense and drives the emotional core of the scene, adding depth to the narrative and highlighting the challenges faced by the investigative team.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and moral dilemmas that challenge the characters' beliefs and decisions.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of uncovering the truth about the abuse cases and the obstacles faced by the investigative team add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges and obstacles faced by the investigative team, setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, keeping the audience unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's commitment to uncovering the truth and the external pressures to act quickly and consider the consequences of his actions. This challenges Mike's beliefs in journalistic integrity and the importance of thorough investigation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of frustration, determination, and conflict in the audience, drawing them into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Sacha and Phil, showcasing their differing perspectives and the emotional stakes involved in their conversation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, moral dilemmas, and sharp dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' decisions and conflicts.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' dilemmas and decisions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys a sense of urgency and tension through the phone conversation between Mike and Garabedian. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic. The stakes are high, but the exchange feels somewhat flat. Adding more emotional weight to Mike's desperation or Garabedian's frustration could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The transition from Mike's frantic car ride to the conversation with Garabedian is visually engaging, but the scene could benefit from more sensory details. Describing the environment outside Mike's car or his physical state (e.g., gripping the steering wheel, sweating) would help immerse the audience in his anxiety.
  • Sacha's confrontation with Saviano in the bar is a strong emotional counterpoint to Mike's scene, but the pacing feels rushed. The dialogue between Sacha and Saviano could be expanded to allow for a deeper exploration of their relationship and the emotional stakes involved. This would create a more satisfying contrast between the two scenes.
  • The dialogue in the bar scene, while realistic, sometimes lacks clarity. For instance, when Saviano accuses Sacha of dropping the story, it could be clearer what specific actions or inactions he is referring to. This would help the audience understand the gravity of the situation and the history between the characters.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Saviano leaving, which can be effective for dramatic tension, but it may leave the audience wanting more resolution. A brief moment of reflection from Sacha after Saviano leaves could provide insight into her emotional state and the weight of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional stakes in the phone conversation by incorporating more visceral reactions from both Mike and Garabedian. For example, Mike could express frustration through his tone or body language, while Garabedian could show signs of stress or fear regarding the Church's influence.
  • Add sensory details to Mike's car scene to create a more immersive experience. Describe the sounds of the road, the feel of the steering wheel, or the tension in his muscles as he drives, which would heighten the urgency of the moment.
  • Expand the dialogue between Sacha and Saviano to delve deeper into their emotional connection and the implications of the story. This could involve Sacha sharing her own struggles or fears, making the conversation more impactful.
  • Clarify the dialogue in the bar scene to ensure that the audience understands the stakes and history between Sacha and Saviano. This could involve adding a line or two that references past interactions or specific events that have led to this moment.
  • Consider adding a reflective moment for Sacha after Saviano leaves, allowing her to process the conversation and the challenges ahead. This could serve to deepen her character and provide a moment of vulnerability that resonates with the audience.



Scene 44 -  Urgency and Gratitude
121 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - EVENING 121

Marty’s working at his computer. Ben knocks.

BEN
Marty, you gotta a second?

MARTY
Sure.

Marty turns as Ben walks in.

BEN
Robby’s itching to get his team back
on the church story. At this point,
I think we’re covered on 9/11.

MARTY
Okay. Sounds right.

Ben starts to leave when --
11/26/14 103.


MARTY (CONT’D)
Ben.
(then)
I, uh, wanted to say thank you for
taking the lead on 9/11. All the
politics at Logan and Massport, I
wasn’t the person to do it. You’ve
done an excellent job over the last
six weeks.

Ben is completely caught off guard.

BEN
Oh. Well... thanks.
(awkward, exiting)
Good night.

MARTY
Good night.

122 INT. HOLIDAY INN, HOTEL ROOM, MIAMI, FL - LATER 122

A crappy hotel room. ESPN on TV, a suitcase, clothes, papers
everywhere. Mike takes a burrito out of the hotel microwave,
tries to pick it up when his phone RINGS. He grabs the phone.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Hey.

ROBBY (OVER THE PHONE)
How’s South Beach?

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
I’m in Boynton Beach. Remarkably
different place. What’s up?

ROBBY (OVER THE PHONE)
Mitch Garabedian called me today.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Why’d he call you?

ROBBY (OVER THE PHONE)
Because he knew you’d yell at him.
He refiled the docs.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
(yelling)
What? Robby, those docs are public
now, we gotta get them before anyone
else does...
11/26/14 104.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In this scene, Marty expresses gratitude to Ben for his leadership on the 9/11 coverage, surprising Ben with his praise. Meanwhile, Mike, in a messy hotel room in Miami, receives an urgent call from Robby about refiled documents, prompting a need for immediate action. The scene contrasts the tidy office environment with Mike's chaotic surroundings, highlighting the emotional tones of gratitude and urgency.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Urgency and high stakes
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the urgency and tension surrounding the investigation, keeping the audience engaged and eager to see the outcome.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of uncovering the truth behind the Church abuse scandal is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly with the revelation of the refiled documents, adding depth to the investigation and raising the stakes.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to workplace dynamics and professional relationships, focusing on the nuances of gratitude and acknowledgment in a corporate setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions add depth to the scene, showcasing their dedication to the investigation and the challenges they face.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' determination and dedication are reinforced.

Internal Goal: 8

Marty's internal goal in this scene is to express gratitude towards Ben for taking the lead on a challenging project. This reflects Marty's need for validation and recognition, as well as his desire to maintain positive relationships with his colleagues.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to discuss work-related matters with Ben and address the progress on a specific project. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges Marty is facing in his professional life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters' goals and the obstacles they face creates a sense of tension and urgency.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle but effective, with underlying power dynamics and unspoken tensions between Marty and Ben. The audience is left unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of obtaining the refiled documents before others do add intensity and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial development in the investigation.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional turn in Marty's gratitude towards Ben. The shift in power dynamics adds a layer of complexity to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between Marty's acknowledgment of his limitations and Ben's unexpected gratitude. This challenges Marty's beliefs about his own capabilities and the dynamics of power within the workplace.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes feelings of concern and frustration, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation, driving the scene forward with impactful exchanges.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the naturalistic dialogue and emotional depth of the characters. The subtle tension and unspoken emotions keep the audience invested in the interaction between Marty and Ben.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional depth, with a gradual reveal of Marty's internal struggles and Ben's unexpected response.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from the tension of the previous scene to a more subdued moment in Marty's office, which helps to create a contrast in pacing. However, the emotional weight of the previous scene could be better reflected in Marty's demeanor. He seems too calm given the urgency of the situation regarding the church story.
  • Marty's gratitude towards Ben feels somewhat abrupt and lacks a deeper emotional connection. While it serves to acknowledge Ben's hard work, it could be enhanced by including more specific examples of the challenges Ben faced during the 9/11 coverage, which would add depth to their relationship.
  • The dialogue between Marty and Ben is functional but lacks subtext. Adding layers to their conversation could reveal more about their characters and the stakes involved. For instance, Ben's reaction to Marty's praise could include hints of his own insecurities or doubts about his performance.
  • The transition to Mike's hotel room is jarring. The shift from the Globe to a hotel room in Miami could benefit from a more gradual transition or a visual cue that connects the two locations, such as a split screen or a voiceover that bridges the scenes.
  • Mike's reaction to Robby's news about the refiled documents is appropriately urgent, but the dialogue could be more dynamic. Instead of just yelling, Mike could express his frustration in a way that reveals more about his character, perhaps by referencing past experiences or the implications of the documents.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Marty reflects on the weight of the church story before discussing it with Ben, which would enhance the emotional stakes.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue between Marty and Ben to reveal their characters' vulnerabilities and the pressures they face.
  • Use a visual or auditory cue to transition smoothly from the Globe to Mike's hotel room, maintaining the narrative flow.
  • Enhance Mike's dialogue to include more character-driven reactions, perhaps by referencing previous challenges or expressing his concerns about the implications of the refiled documents.
  • Explore the possibility of including a brief moment of reflection for Ben after Marty's praise, which could add depth to his character and the dynamics of their working relationship.



Scene 45 -  Tensions and Revelations
123 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE/SPOTLIGHT - SAME TIME 123

Robby sitting in his chair.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
I know, wrap up what you’re doing
and catch the first flight you can.

MIKE (OVER THE PHONE)
I’ll book a flight, go straight to
the courthouse tomorrow.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Good. Call me when you get it.

Robby hangs up. Sacha is in his door, putting on her coat.

SACHA
Robby, I’d like to let Phil Saviano
know that we are back on it.

ROBBY
Good idea. Go have dinner with
Hansi. Might be the last time for a
while.

SACHA
Okay.

Sacha hesitates, then grabs a clip off her desk.

SACHA (CONT’D)
Robby, after we saw MacLeish, I
started going back through the
clips... and I had a little time
last week finally, so, uh...
(she hands him the clip)
I found that. It’s from ‘93.

Robby looks down. We see the clip. “LAWYER FOR PORTER
VICTIMS SAYS 20 OTHER PRIESTS IN AREA ARE ACCUSED.”

Robby’s face CHANGES. Sacha waits, expecting a response.

ROBBY
That it?

Robby’s abrupt tone catches Sacha by surprise.

SACHA
Yeah. That’s it.

ROBBY
Good night.
11/26/14 105.


SACHA
Okay. Good night.

Sacha takes a beat, then leaves, a bit confused and hurt.
Robby looks down at the clip. Off Robby --

124 INT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, BEDROOM, WEST ROXBURY, MA - NIGHT
124

Matt sits up in bed. Checks the clock. 4am. Can’t sleep.

125 INT. MATT CARROLL’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - LATER 125

Matt walks in, takes two aspirin. He eyes a 9/11 BUMPER
STICKER on the fridge. His gaze drifts down to the photo of
the house on Pelton Street. Matt frowns... realizing he’s
back on the church.

126 EXT. MODERN RESTAURANT, PROVIDENCE, RI - DAY 126

A wide shot. A well dressed, good looking MAN checking his
blackberry.

Robby walks in, introduces himself to the man. PRELAP --

127 INT. MODERN RESTAURANT, PROVIDENCE, RI - LATER 127

Robby and the man, KEVIN, 40s, sit at a table. We’re in a
long shot. We see them talking. Kevin is friendly, amiable.

KEVIN
So, I was probably a few years after
you, right?

ROBBY
More than a few.

KEVIN
(laughing)
Well after BC High, I came down to
Providence, played hockey for the
Friars.

ROBBY
You must’ve been pretty good.

KEVIN
No, rode the bench in college. But
I loved the city, never left. We
just had our third kid. And I still
get my Globe, for the record.

ROBBY
Good to know.
11/26/14 106.


Kevin smiles. Robby nods. Takes a beat. Then dives in.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Look, Kevin, that’s actually why I’m
here. I need ask you some questions
about Father Talbot.

Kevin’s face tightens, his eyes intense. Robby waits.

KEVIN
How’d you find out? I guess that
doesn’t matter.
(shakes his head)
I never even told my wife.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In this scene, Robby is on the phone urging Mike to rush to the courthouse while Sacha enters, determined to update Phil Saviano on their renewed efforts. She presents Robby with a 1993 news clip about priest accusations, but his abrupt dismissal leaves her feeling confused and hurt. The scene shifts to Matt Carroll, who struggles with insomnia and reflects on his past with the church, before transitioning to Robby meeting Kevin at a restaurant to discuss Father Talbot, where the mood shifts as the topic arises.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Revealing character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Abrupt tone of Robby towards Sacha

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of the church scandal. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigating the church scandal and confronting past secrets is compelling and drives the narrative forward with a sense of urgency and importance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot unfolds with significant revelations and character interactions that deepen the investigation into the church scandal. The scene moves the story forward while adding layers of complexity.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to investigative journalism and explores complex moral dilemmas with authenticity.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their reactions to the unfolding events add depth to the scene. The emotional impact of the revelations is felt through their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional shifts and revelations that impact their perspectives and motivations, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth about the priest scandal and bring justice to the victims. This reflects his desire for justice and integrity in his work.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to gather information from Kevin about Father Talbot. This reflects the immediate challenge of uncovering the truth and confronting difficult subjects.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from confronting past secrets to dealing with the emotional toll of the investigation. The tension is palpable throughout.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters delve into a sensitive and dangerous investigation, confronting powerful institutions and facing personal risks. The outcome of their actions could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by uncovering crucial information and deepening the investigation into the church scandal. It sets the stage for further revelations and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions and revelations from the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the pursuit of truth and the protection of personal secrets. Kevin's reluctance to share information challenges Robby's belief in transparency and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene carries a high emotional impact, as characters grapple with dark revelations and personal stakes. The audience is drawn into the emotional turmoil of the investigation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and drives the scene forward with intensity. It reveals key information and emotions, adding layers to the characters' motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tense interactions between characters and the unfolding mystery of the priest scandal.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic investigative sequence, building tension and revealing new information.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys a sense of urgency and tension, particularly through Robby's phone call with Mike and Sacha's desire to reconnect with Phil Saviano. However, the abruptness of Robby's response to Sacha feels jarring and could benefit from more context or emotional depth to explain his reaction.
  • Sacha's character is presented as proactive and engaged, but her interaction with Robby leaves her feeling confused and hurt. This emotional response is important, yet it could be more explicitly articulated through dialogue or internal thoughts to enhance the audience's connection to her character.
  • The transition from Robby's office to Matt's bedroom is somewhat abrupt. While it serves to show the ripple effects of the investigation on the team, a smoother transition or a brief moment of reflection from Robby could help maintain narrative flow.
  • The visual elements in the scene, such as the clip from '93, are effective in conveying the weight of the investigation. However, more descriptive language could enhance the imagery and emotional impact of the moment when Robby sees the clip.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks a certain level of subtext that could elevate the scene. For instance, Robby's terse response to Sacha could hint at his own internal struggles or pressures, adding layers to his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two of internal monologue for Sacha after Robby's abrupt response to better convey her emotional state and the impact of the interaction on her.
  • Enhance the transition between scenes by including a brief moment of reflection from Robby, perhaps showing his internal conflict or stress about the investigation, which would provide a smoother narrative flow.
  • Incorporate more descriptive language when Robby looks at the clip to emphasize its significance and the emotional weight it carries for both him and the investigation.
  • Add subtext to the dialogue, particularly in Robby's responses, to reveal more about his character's state of mind and the pressures he faces, which could create a richer emotional landscape.
  • Consider extending the scene slightly to allow for a more nuanced exchange between Robby and Sacha, which could deepen their relationship and highlight the stakes of their investigation.



Scene 46 -  Frustration at the Courthouse
129 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 129

Mike, still carrying his bags from the plane, emerges from an
elevator, hurries down the hall, nearly knocking people out
of the way. He arrives at the Records Room and slams up
against the glass just as the clerk (O’BRIAN) LOCKS the door.

MIKE
Hey, hey, I need to get in there.

CLERK O’BRIAN
We’re closed.

MIKE
Come on, let me in, five minutes,
come on.

CLERK O’BRIAN
I’m sorry, we’re closed!

MIKE
Come on, five minutes!

But the clerk leaves. Mike bangs the door in frustration.

130 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, HALLWAY - MORNING 130

The elevator door opens and Clerk O’Brian walks out with
coffee and a copy of the Globe. He approaches the door and
stops.

Mike sits on the floor, waiting. O’Brian eyes him. A beat,
then he unlocks the door. Mike follows him into --

131 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, RECORDS ROOM - MORNING 131

O’Brian walks in. Mike fills out a form at the ‘application
for records’ table. He turns to the desk, hands the form to
Clerk O’Brian, who reads it.
11/26/14 107.


CLERK O’BRIAN
This is the Geoghan case?

MIKE
Yeah. That’s right.

CLERK O’BRIAN
Those records are sealed.

MIKE
No, that’s a public motion, those
records are public. Look, I work
for the Globe.

Mike shows his credentials.

CLERK O’BRIAN
Good for you.

MIKE
Can I talk to your supervisor?

CLERK O’BRIAN
He’s not in today.

Mike, frustrated, eyes the CROSS the clerk is wearing.

MIKE
What about a judge? You gotta have
a judge who handles these issues.

The clerk eyes Mike.

CLERK O’BRIAN
Sixth floor.

132 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, JUDGE’S CHAMBERS - LATER 132

Mike walks in. Sees a receptionist.

MIKE
I’d like to see Judge Volterra
please. It’s urgent.

RECEPTIONIST
Judge is in court until 3:30.

MIKE
There’s no other judge on duty?

RECEPTIONIST
Would you like to have a seat?

Her look says it all.
11/26/14 108.


MIKE
Yeah. Sure. I’ll take a seat.

Mike sits. Frustrated and anxious. We PRELAP --

JACK DUNN (PRELAP)
We understand the nature of the
allegations against Father Talbot.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense scene at the Suffolk County Courthouse, Mike rushes to access sealed records related to the Geoghan case but faces bureaucratic obstacles. Initially denied entry by Clerk O'Brian, he eventually gains access to the Records Room, only to be informed that the records are sealed and he must seek a judge's approval. After learning that Judge Volterra is unavailable, Mike is left frustrated and anxious, waiting for his chance to proceed.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of urgency and frustration
  • High stakes and tension
  • Clear obstacle for the protagonist
Weaknesses
  • Limited character interactions
  • Focus on one character's struggle

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of urgency and frustration through Mike's actions and interactions, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the struggle to obtain crucial information, adding depth to the narrative and raising the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly as Mike faces a critical challenge in his investigation, setting the stage for future revelations and developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a familiar setting of a courthouse but adds originality through the protagonist's determination and the conflict with the clerk. The dialogue feels authentic and adds to the tension of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Mike, are well-portrayed in their determination and frustration, adding depth to their motivations and actions.

Character Changes: 7

Mike undergoes a change in his approach and determination as he faces the challenge of accessing the sealed records, showcasing his growth and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover information related to the Geoghan case. This reflects his need for justice and truth, as well as his fear of being blocked or denied access to crucial information.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to gain access to the sealed records related to the Geoghan case. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in obtaining information for his work at the Globe.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with Mike facing significant obstacles in his quest for information, creating tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the clerk and the legal system acting as obstacles to the protagonist's goals.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Mike struggles to access vital information that could impact the investigation and uncover the truth, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial obstacle for the protagonist and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of the protagonist's quest for information is uncertain, adding tension and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's belief in transparency and the clerk's adherence to rules and regulations. This challenges the protagonist's values of truth and justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes emotions of frustration and urgency in the audience, drawing them into the characters' struggles and motivations.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation, driving the scene forward and highlighting the characters' emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced dialogue, and the protagonist's determination to uncover the truth.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of tension and conflict that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the standard format for a screenplay, making it easy to visualize the action and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic confrontation in a legal setting, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys Mike's urgency and frustration, which is crucial for building tension in the narrative. However, the pacing could be improved by varying the dialogue and actions to create a more dynamic flow. For instance, instead of having Mike repeatedly plead with the clerk, consider incorporating more physical actions or reactions that reflect his desperation, such as pacing or checking his watch.
  • The dialogue between Mike and Clerk O'Brian feels somewhat repetitive. While it emphasizes Mike's urgency, it could benefit from more variation in phrasing or additional context that highlights the stakes of the situation. This would help maintain the audience's engagement and avoid redundancy.
  • The transition from the hallway to the records room is clear, but the scene could use more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting. Describing the atmosphere of the courthouse, the sounds of footsteps, or the visual clutter of the records room would enhance the scene's realism and urgency.
  • The introduction of the receptionist in the judge's chambers is a good way to show the bureaucratic obstacles Mike faces, but her dialogue could be more engaging. Instead of simply stating the judge's unavailability, she could express empathy or frustration, which would add depth to her character and the situation.
  • The pre-lap of Jack Dunn's dialogue is an interesting choice, but it feels disconnected from the current scene. It would be more effective if it tied directly into Mike's situation, perhaps hinting at the broader implications of the investigation or the urgency of the records he seeks.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more physicality in Mike's actions to convey his urgency, such as him checking his watch or pacing while waiting.
  • Vary the dialogue to avoid repetition; consider adding more context or stakes to Mike's pleas to the clerk.
  • Incorporate sensory details to enhance the setting, such as the sounds and sights of the courthouse, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Give the receptionist a more engaging response that reflects the tension of the situation, perhaps showing empathy for Mike's urgency.
  • Ensure that the pre-lap dialogue connects more directly to Mike's current predicament, reinforcing the stakes of his investigation.



Scene 47 -  Confronting the Past
133 INT. BC HIGH, PRESIDENT KEMEZA’S OFFICE, DORCHESTER - DAY 133

Robby, Sacha sit with PRESIDENT BILL KEMEZA, 50s, SPOKESMAN
JACK DUNN, 40, and Pete Conley, the swell we met earlier.

JACK DUNN
I’m just not sure what you want from
President Kemeza. Talbot taught
here long before Bill took over.

SACHA
Of course. We just want to know if
it’s possible that the faculty, the
President, the Board, that no one
knew what was going on at the time.

JACK DUNN
I graduated in 1979 and I had no
idea about any of this, so if you’re
suggesting that Father Gibbons and
Father Callahan --

ROBBY
Gibbons and Callahan ran this place
like the navy, Jack, you really
think they didn’t know?

JACK DUNN
It’s a big school, Robby, you know
that. You’re talking about seven
alleged victims over eight years.

ROBBY
Seven that we know about.

JACK DUNN PRESIDENT KAMEZA
This is ridiculous. You’re Jack. Jack --
reaching for a story here, we
can’t possible know if...

PRESIDENT KAMEZA
Jack. If I had been President back
then, I would have known.

Conley looks at him, sharp.
11/26/14 109.


JACK DUNN PRESIDENT KAMEZA
Bill, I’m not sure that’s Why do you think they sent *
relevant -- Talbot up to Cheverus? You *
know they wanted him out of
town.

PETER CONLEY
(to Robby, direct)
Robby, as well-intentioned as Bill’s
remarks are, I’m hoping maybe we can
keep this between us until we all
get on the same page.

ROBBY
Is that why we’re here, to get on
the same page?

PETER CONLEY
No, we’re here because you’re an
important alumnus, Robby, and a
friend.

JACK DUNN
Exactly. We know you care about
this school as much as we do.

Robby contains his anger.

ROBBY
Did you play a sport here, Jack?

JACK DUNN
(confused)
Yeah. Football. Why?

ROBBY
I ran track.
(then)
I went to Providence yesterday, to
talk to one of Talbot’s victims, he
played hockey here. He’s one of the
better ones, has a wife, kids, good
job. Ten minutes into the
conversation guy breaks down,
couldn’t stop crying. Said he could
never figure out why Father Talbot
picked him.
(beat, to Jack)
Father Talbot coached the hockey
team. So, I guess we just got lucky,
you and me.

Off Sacha, watching him.
11/26/14 110.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In President Kemeza's office, Robby and Sacha confront Kemeza, Jack Dunn, and Pete Conley about the school's alleged ignorance regarding Father Talbot's misconduct. Tensions escalate as Robby reveals a personal connection to one of Talbot's victims, challenging Dunn's defense of the administration's lack of awareness. The discussion highlights conflicting views on accountability and the emotional weight of the allegations, ultimately leaving the matter unresolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled confrontations
  • Revealing important information
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further developed for added impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the seriousness and emotional weight of the subject matter, maintaining tension and revealing important information. However, some elements could be further developed to enhance the impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigating abuse by priests and confronting those involved is compelling and drives the scene forward. The focus on revealing hidden truths adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with revelations about the school's knowledge of abuse and the emotional impact on the victims. The conflict between the investigative team and the school representatives adds layers to the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the investigative genre by focusing on the moral dilemmas and personal connections of the characters involved. The authenticity of the dialogue and character motivations adds depth to the familiar theme of uncovering scandals.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal their dedication to uncovering the truth and the emotional toll of their investigation.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience emotional shifts and revelations in this scene, deepening their commitment to the investigation and highlighting the personal stakes involved.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth about the abuse scandal and seek justice for the victims. This reflects his deep sense of morality and desire to right wrongs.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to gather information and evidence to expose the wrongdoing of the faculty members involved in the scandal. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in investigating the case.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between the investigative team and the school representatives, as well as the emotional conflict stemming from the victims' stories, creates a high level of tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and hidden agendas creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' true intentions and loyalties.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters confront the truth about abuse by priests and face resistance from those implicated. The emotional and ethical implications raise the stakes even further.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the school's knowledge of abuse and the impact on the victims. It sets the stage for further investigation and confrontations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting alliances and hidden motives of the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of loyalty, responsibility, and accountability. The characters debate whether the school's leadership was aware of the abuse and how they should handle the situation, challenging their beliefs about authority and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, particularly through the victims' stories and the confrontations with the school representatives. The raw emotion and empathy evoked contribute to the scene's power.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the tension and emotion of the scene effectively. The confrontational exchanges and emotional revelations enhance the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflicting viewpoints, and emotional intensity of the characters. The dialogue is sharp and reveals hidden agendas, keeping the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and confrontations that keep the audience engaged. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay dialogue and scene descriptions, making it easy to follow and visualize the interactions between characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dialogue-driven investigative scene, with clear character motivations and escalating tension. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in building suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the dialogue between Robby, Sacha, and the representatives from BC High. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, particularly when Jack Dunn deflects questions. This could be tightened to maintain a more consistent tension throughout the scene.
  • Robby's emotional connection to the story is evident, especially when he recounts his conversation with one of Talbot's victims. This personal touch adds depth to his character, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his internal struggle or anger in his delivery, rather than just stating facts.
  • The dialogue is realistic and captures the evasiveness of the school officials, but it occasionally veers into exposition-heavy territory. For instance, the back-and-forth about who knew what could be streamlined to avoid redundancy and keep the focus on the emotional stakes.
  • The introduction of President Kemeza and the dynamic between him and Dunn is intriguing, but their motivations could be clearer. Why is Kemeza so defensive? A hint of his personal stakes or history with Talbot could add layers to the conflict.
  • The scene ends on a strong note with Robby's emotional revelation, but it could benefit from a more pronounced reaction from Sacha. Her perspective is crucial, and her emotional response could serve to heighten the impact of Robby's story.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate repetitive statements and maintain a brisk pace. Focus on the most impactful lines that reveal character and advance the plot.
  • Enhance Robby's emotional delivery by incorporating physical reactions or internal thoughts that reflect his anger and frustration. This could make his confrontation with Dunn more compelling.
  • Clarify the motivations of Kemeza and Dunn. Adding a line or two that hints at their personal stakes in the situation could deepen the audience's understanding of their characters.
  • Incorporate Sacha's emotional response to Robby's story. This could be a subtle nod or a more overt reaction that emphasizes the weight of what they are discussing.
  • Consider using visual cues or staging to reflect the tension in the room. For example, positioning characters in a way that visually represents their power dynamics could enhance the scene's impact.



Scene 48 -  The Weight of Knowledge
134 EXT. BC HIGH, DORCHESTER, MA - DAY 134

Robby and Sacha walk from BC High back to the Globe.

SACHA
Does Jack Dunn work for the school?

ROBBY
No. He’s PR for Boston College. They
call him when they need help.

SACHA
And Pete Conley? Why was he there?

ROBBY
Good question. Pete’s a big alum.
But I called Bill directly and I
asked for a sit-down, I never
mentioned anybody else.

SACHA
It’s like everybody already knows
the story.

This hits Robby. He pauses, looks back at BC High.

ROBBY
Yeah, except us. And we work right
there.

135 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, JUDGE’S CHAMBERS - LATER 135

Mike is still waiting. A JUDGE enters. Mike stands.

MIKE
Judge Volterra?

JUDGE VOLTERRA
Yes?

MIKE
Hi, I’m Mike Rezendes from the
Boston Globe. I’m having some
trouble accessing some public
records down in the records room. I
was wondering if I could have a word
with you?

136 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, JUDGE’S CHAMBERS - LATER 136

JUDGE VIERI VOLTERRA stares down at Mike’s request.
11/26/14 111.


JUDGE VOLTERRA
These exhibits you’re after, Mr.
Rezendes, they’re very sensitive
records.

MIKE
All due respect, your honor, that’s
not the question here. The records
are public.

JUDGE VOLTERRA
Maybe so, but tell me, where is the
editorial responsibility in
publishing records of this nature?

MIKE
Where’s the editorial responsibility
in not publishing them?
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary Robby and Sacha walk from BC High to the Globe, feeling out of the loop about a story involving Jack Dunn and Pete Conley. Meanwhile, Mike Rezendes confronts Judge Volterra at the Suffolk County Courthouse, seeking access to sensitive public records. The judge questions the ethics of publishing such information, while Mike argues for journalistic transparency. The scene captures the tension and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters, ending with uncertainty about Mike's request.
Strengths
  • Exploration of ethical dilemmas
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of visual action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation while exploring complex themes of journalistic integrity and accountability.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene is strong, highlighting the ethical dilemmas faced by journalists and the importance of transparency in reporting.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters navigate the challenges of accessing sensitive records and grapple with the implications of publishing them.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on journalistic ethics and legal challenges, with authentic character interactions that reflect the complexities of truth-seeking.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, each grappling with their own moral compass and professional responsibilities.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo internal struggles and moral dilemmas, leading to subtle changes in their perspectives and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind the story they are investigating and to understand why certain information is being withheld.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to access public records for their investigation and to navigate the legal obstacles in their way.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters' desire for transparency and the ethical considerations of publishing sensitive records creates a compelling dynamic.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with legal and ethical challenges that create conflict and drive the characters' actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters grapple with the decision to publish sensitive records and the potential consequences of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges and dilemmas for the characters to navigate.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the legal obstacles and ethical challenges the characters face, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between editorial responsibility and the public's right to know, challenging the characters' beliefs about transparency and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of urgency and moral dilemma, resonating with the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and ethical debates between the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, ethical dilemmas, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay writing, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard format for investigative journalism narratives, with clear progression and conflict resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from the previous conversation between Robby and Sacha to Mike's urgent situation at the courthouse, maintaining narrative momentum. However, the abrupt shift in location and focus could benefit from a smoother transition to enhance coherence.
  • Robby's realization that everyone seems to know the story except them is a strong emotional beat, but it could be further emphasized with more internal conflict or frustration. This moment could serve as a catalyst for their determination to uncover the truth, but it feels somewhat understated.
  • The dialogue between Robby and Sacha is functional but lacks depth. While it conveys necessary information, it could be enriched with subtext or emotional weight to better reflect their growing frustration and urgency in the investigation.
  • Mike's interaction with Judge Volterra introduces a critical conflict regarding journalistic ethics and the public's right to know. However, the dialogue could be sharpened to heighten the tension. The judge's skepticism about editorial responsibility is a compelling point, but Mike's response feels somewhat flat and could be more impassioned to reflect the stakes involved.
  • The scene's pacing is uneven; the transition from Robby and Sacha's conversation to Mike's waiting could be more dynamic. Consider intercutting their dialogue with Mike's anxious waiting to create a sense of urgency and parallel tension.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional stakes for Robby and Sacha by incorporating more of their internal thoughts or feelings about being out of the loop. This could be achieved through a brief moment of reflection or a more expressive dialogue exchange.
  • Consider adding a visual element that symbolizes their frustration or urgency, such as a shot of them walking faster or glancing at their watches, to visually convey their mounting pressure.
  • Revise Mike's dialogue with Judge Volterra to include a more passionate defense of journalistic integrity. This could involve a personal anecdote or a rhetorical question that underscores the importance of transparency in the face of institutional secrecy.
  • To improve the pacing, intercut between Robby and Sacha's conversation and Mike's waiting, perhaps showing Mike's growing impatience as he overhears snippets of their conversation, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Explore the dynamics of the relationships between the characters more deeply. For instance, Sacha's concern about the implications of their investigation could be highlighted through her body language or tone, adding layers to her character.



Scene 49 -  Uncovering the Truth
137 INT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, RECORDS ROOM - DAY 137

Clerk O’Brian drops the file in front of Mike, who dives in.
His face says it all. HOLY SHIT. A beat, then Mike grabs
the files, starts to rush out.

CLERK O’BRIAN
You can’t take those. You need to
make copies.

MIKE
Yeah, I’m going to the copy room.

CLERK O’BRIAN
It closed at four.

Mike stops, fucked. He digs into his pocket, counts bills.

MIKE
I’ll give you 83 bucks to use yours.

138 EXT. SUFFOLK COUNTY COURTHOUSE, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - TWILIGHT 138

Mike, already on his cell phone, hurries across the street
toward and catches a cab.

MIKE
Hey, Cabbie! Hey, hey, hey!

Mike gets in cab.

MIKE (CONT’D)
I’m going to the Boston Globe on
Morrisey Boulevard. Don't take 93.
Take Dorchester Avenue.
(MORE)
11/26/14 112.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Robby, it’s incredible!

138A EXT. STATE STREET, BOSTON - MOMENTS LATER 138A

Mike’s cab moves up State Street.

MIKE (V.O.)
Law knew about Geoghan for years, no
question! There’s a letter to Law
from a woman, Margaret Gallant, who
lived in Jamaica Plain in the early
80’s when Geoghan was there. Listen
to this...

139 EXT. KING’S CHAPEL, TREMONT STREET, BOSTON - MOMENTS LATER 139

Mike’s cab whisks past the old King’s Chapel.

MIKE (V.O.)
(reading)
“Our family is rooted in the Church,
our desire is to protect the Holy
Orders...”

140B EXT. MONSIGNOR REYNOLD’S WAY, SOUTH END - MOMENTS LATER 140B

Mike’s cab passes the Cathedral of the Holy Cross.

MIKE (V.O.)
“...even in the midst of our agony
over the seven boys in our family...

140C EXT. PLAYGROUND BY THE CATHEDRAL - MOMENTS LATER 140C

Patrick McSorley plays with his kid on the playground.

MIKE (V.O.)
...who have been violated.” Seven,
Robby! Seven boys!

141 EXT. WEST 4TH STREET BRIDGE, BOSTON - LATER 141

The cab crosses over the bridge into Dorchester.

MIKE (V.O.)
“It was suggested we keep silent. We
did not question the Authority of
the Church two years ago...

142 EXT. OLD COLONY ROAD, DORCHESTER - LATER 142

The cab is stuck on Old Colony Road. It turns into a TRAFFIC
CIRCLE, past St. Monica’s church and onto Columbia Road.
11/26/14 113.


MIKE (V.O.)
...but since Father Geoghan is still
in his parish...” She sent it to
Law and Law did shit!
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In the Suffolk County Courthouse's records room, Mike discovers shocking files about the Church's knowledge of abuse cases involving Father Geoghan. After a tense exchange with Clerk O’Brian, who initially prevents him from taking the files, Mike negotiates to use the copier and rushes out to share his findings with Robby over the phone. As he reads a damning letter during a cab ride through Boston, the urgency of his investigation intensifies, revealing the Church's complicity in the cover-up.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension effectively
  • Conveying urgency and desperation
Weaknesses
  • Possible lack of character development in supporting roles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, revealing crucial information and building tension effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of uncovering hidden truths and the urgency of the investigation are well portrayed.

Plot: 9.2

The plot advances significantly with the revelations about the Church's knowledge of abuse and the race to obtain crucial documents.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on investigative journalism and scandal exposure, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Mike, are driven by a sense of urgency and desperation, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Mike experiences a significant shift in urgency and determination as he uncovers crucial information.

Internal Goal: 8

Mike's internal goal is to uncover information about a scandal involving the Church and protect the victims. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and truth.

External Goal: 7

Mike's external goal is to gather evidence and information from the courthouse records to expose the scandal to the Boston Globe.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

There is a high level of conflict, both internal and external, driving the urgency of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, such as the closed copy room and the need for money, creates obstacles for the protagonist and adds conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters race against time to uncover crucial documents that could change the course of their investigation.

Story Forward: 10

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key information and setting up the next steps in the investigation.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of whether Mike will successfully gather the evidence he needs, adding tension and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the desire to protect the Church's reputation and the need for justice for the victims. This challenges Mike's beliefs in the integrity of institutions and the importance of truth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene evokes strong emotions, especially frustration and shock, from the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is intense and focused on conveying crucial information and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the fast-paced action, high stakes, and the protagonist's determination to uncover the truth.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story along effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard screenplay formatting, making it easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical investigative thriller format, with a clear goal, obstacles, and a sense of urgency.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys Mike's urgency and excitement as he uncovers crucial information about the Church's knowledge of abuse cases. The use of visual elements, such as the cab ride through Boston, adds a dynamic quality to the narrative, allowing the audience to feel the tension and urgency of the moment.
  • The dialogue is sharp and concise, particularly Mike's interactions with Clerk O'Brian and his phone call with Robby. This keeps the pace brisk and maintains the tension, which is essential in a scene that revolves around a significant revelation.
  • However, the scene could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. While Mike's excitement is palpable, there is little exploration of the emotional weight of the information he is uncovering. Adding a moment of reflection or a brief internal monologue could enhance the audience's connection to Mike's character and the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition between locations is smooth, but the scene could use more sensory details to immerse the audience further. Describing the sounds, sights, and even smells of the courthouse and the streets of Boston could enhance the atmosphere and make the scene more vivid.
  • The pacing is generally effective, but the abruptness of Mike's offer to Clerk O'Brian could be softened. A brief moment of hesitation or frustration before he offers money might make the scene feel more realistic and relatable.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Mike as he reads the letter, reflecting on the implications of the Church's actions and how it affects the victims. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to create a richer atmosphere. Describe the sounds of the courthouse, the bustling streets of Boston, or the feeling of urgency in the air as Mike rushes to uncover the truth.
  • Soften the transition when Mike offers money to Clerk O'Brian by including a moment of frustration or desperation. This could make his character feel more relatable and grounded in the reality of the situation.
  • Explore the emotional weight of the information Mike is uncovering. Perhaps include a moment where he pauses to consider the impact of the Church's negligence on the victims, which could enhance the scene's emotional depth.
  • Ensure that the pacing remains tight, but consider allowing for a brief pause or beat after Mike reads the letter to emphasize its significance before he rushes out. This could heighten the tension and anticipation for the audience.



Scene 50 -  Urgency and Conflict at the Boston Globe
142A EXT. COLUMBIA STREET, DORCHESTER - SAME TIME 142A

The cab drives down by the water.

MIKE (V.O.)
Here’s another one to Law, same
year. Listen to this...
(reading)
“A word on the recent assignment of
Father John Geoghan...”

144 EXT. BOSTON GLOBE - EVENING 144

The cab pulls up. Mike jumps out, pays the driver, hustles
inside.

MIKE (V.O.)
“...as an associate at Saint Julia’s
in Weston. Father Geoghan...”

145 INT. GLOBE, LOBBY - LATER 145

Mike races in through the glass doors, then hustles up the
escalator...

MIKE (V.O.)
“...has a history of homosexual
involvement with young boys. I
understand his recent departure from
Saint Brendan's may be related to
this problem...”

147 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - NIGHT 147

The whole team sits around as Mike finishes reading.

MIKE
“I wonder if Father Geoghan should
not be reduced to weekend work while
receiving therapy. You know how
grateful I am to you for your
constant concern, sincerely yours in
our Lord, Most Reverend John M.
D'Arcy, Auxiliary Bishop of Boston.
December 7, 1984.”

MATT
An auxiliary bishop wrote that?
11/26/14 114.


We see the letters, both addressed to Law. The team reels.

SACHA
It’s incredible. He broke ranks.
When did Gallant write her letter?

MIKE
1984.

SACHA
And Law just ignored her.

MATT
How do you ignore that freakin’
letter?!

MIKE
We’ve got him. You can’t read those
letters and think anything else.
It’s proof.

ROBBY
Yeah. It is. This is good work.

MIKE
Should we take it up to Ben?

ROBBY
No, not yet.

MIKE
Why not? We got Law. This is it.

ROBBY
No, this is Law covering for one
priest. There’s another 90 out
there.

MIKE
Yeah, and we can print that story
when we get it but we gotta go with
this now.

ROBBY
I’m not gonna rush the story, Mike.

MIKE
We don’t have a choice, if we don’t
run to press, somebody else is gonna
find those letters and butcher the
story! Joe Quimby from the Herald
was at the freakin’ courthouse!
11/26/14 115.


ROBBY
So we’ll write a holding story and
we’ll keep an eye on the Herald.

MIKE
(losing it)
Keep our eye on the Herald? They
run this and they get it wrong, the
Church will bury it! We gotta do
this now!

MATTY MIKE
Mike -- What? Why are we hesitating!
Baron told us to get Law!

ROBBY
Baron told us to get the system. We
need the full scope, that’s the only
thing that will put an end to this.

MIKE
Then let’s take it up to Ben, let
him decide!

ROBBY
We’ll take it to Ben when I say it’s
time.

MIKE
It’s time, Robby. They knew and they
let it happen! To kids! This
coulda been you, it coulda been me,
it could have been any one of us.
We gotta nail these scumbags, show
people that no one can get away with
this! Not a priest or a Cardinal or
a fricking Pope!

Robby, Sacha, and Matt are still. Mike looks around the room,
out of breath, adrenaline draining. Robby is pissed.

ROBBY
You finished?

MIKE
Yeah. I am. This is bullshit.

Mike leaves, slamming the door behind him.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a tense scene at the Boston Globe, Mike arrives after reading a letter detailing Father John Geoghan's misconduct and urges his team to publish the story immediately. The team is shocked to learn that auxiliary bishop John M. D'Arcy had warned about Geoghan, but Cardinal Law ignored the warnings. Mike's insistence on swift action clashes with Robby's call for a more thorough investigation, leading to a heated argument. The scene culminates in Mike storming out in frustration, highlighting the internal conflict over how to address the Church's cover-up.
Strengths
  • Intense and emotional dialogue
  • High stakes and urgency
  • Character conflict and moral dilemmas
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development within the scene
  • Some repetitive arguments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful and gripping, effectively conveying the high stakes and emotional intensity of the characters. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the narrative forward with a sense of urgency.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the ethical dilemma faced by journalists in exposing sensitive information, is compelling and thought-provoking. It delves into the complexities of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overarching narrative of the investigation into the Church's misconduct. It raises the stakes and sets up future developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the moral implications of exposing a scandal within the Catholic Church. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed and their conflicting viewpoints add depth to the scene. The emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas faced by the characters are palpable, enhancing the audience's engagement.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes within the scene, the emotional turmoil and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters contribute to their growth and development throughout the narrative.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to expose the truth and hold those responsible for the abuse of children accountable. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and protection of the vulnerable.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to publish a story about the scandal involving Father Geoghan and Cardinal Law. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing the need for urgency with the need for thorough investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, stemming from the characters' differing perspectives on how to proceed with the investigation. The clash of ideals and the high stakes drive the emotional tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional conflicts between the characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters grapple with the decision to expose the Church's wrongdoing, knowing the potential repercussions and the impact it will have on the victims and the institution.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information about the Church's cover-up and the team's internal conflicts. It sets the stage for future revelations and confrontations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting viewpoints and unexpected emotional outbursts from the characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's belief in immediate action and exposure of the truth versus his editor's belief in a more comprehensive approach to uncovering the full scope of the scandal. This challenges the protagonist's values of justice and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking anger, frustration, and determination in the audience. The characters' impassioned arguments and the gravity of the situation resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and drives the emotional intensity of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and the ethical debates they are engaged in.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional conflict, and moral dilemma faced by the characters. The urgency of the situation keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and intense, mirroring the urgency of the characters' mission. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct locations and character actions clearly described.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic investigative journalism narrative, building tension and conflict as the characters debate their next steps.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the escalating conflict between Mike and Robby, showcasing their differing priorities in the investigation. Mike's urgency contrasts sharply with Robby's more measured approach, which adds depth to their characters and highlights the stakes of their work.
  • The use of Mike's voiceover while he reads the letter adds a layer of urgency and allows the audience to grasp the gravity of the information being uncovered. However, the transition from the cab to the Spotlight office could be smoother to maintain the momentum of the scene.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the emotional weight of the situation, particularly Mike's passionate outburst about the implications of the letters. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact, especially during the argument between Mike and Robby.
  • The scene effectively conveys the frustration and urgency of investigative journalism, but it could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the emotional stakes. For instance, showing the physical reactions of the team members as they process the information could heighten the tension.
  • The ending, with Mike storming out, is powerful and leaves a strong impression. However, it might be more impactful if there were a brief moment of silence or reflection from the remaining team members before the scene ends, emphasizing the weight of the revelation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief visual montage of the team members' reactions as Mike reads the letter, which could enhance the emotional impact and show the gravity of the situation.
  • Tighten the dialogue, especially during the argument between Mike and Robby, to make their points more concise and impactful. This will help maintain the scene's pacing and urgency.
  • Incorporate more physicality into the characters' actions to reflect their emotional states. For example, showing Mike pacing or clenching his fists could visually convey his frustration.
  • Explore the possibility of including a moment of silence or a shared look among the team after Mike leaves, which could underscore the seriousness of their findings and the weight of their responsibility.
  • Ensure that the transitions between locations (from the cab to the office) are seamless to maintain the scene's momentum and urgency.



Scene 51 -  Fractured Reflections
149 INT. SACHA’S HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT 149

Sacha and Hansi have just finished dinner. Hansi’s cleaning
off the table as Sacha loads the dishwasher.
11/26/14 116.


She tries to slide the upper rack into the dishwasher. It’s
jammed. She tries again. It won’t go. She jiggles the rack,
tries a third time... she SNAPS, slamming the rack hard,
sending the dirty glasses crashing into each other.

She looks up... Hansi is just staring at her. Whoa.

HANSI
You okay?

Before she can answer, there’s a KNOCK on the door. Hansi
walks over, opens the door. It’s Mike.

MIKE
Hey, Hansi.

HANSI
Hard day at work, Mike?

150 EXT. SACHA’S HOUSE, BACK PORCH - LATER 150

Sacha walks onto the porch with two beers, hands one to Mike.

MIKE
Thanks. I dunno why I got so pissed
off. I mean I think Robby’s wrong
but...

SACHA
You care about the story, Mike. We
all do.

Mike takes a drink.

SACHA (CONT’D)
I stopped going to church with my
Nana. It was just too hard. I’d be
sitting there and I would start
thinking about Joe Crowley or
someone else and I’d just get so
angry.

MIKE
Did you tell her why?

SACHA
She goes to church three times a
week, Mike.

Mike considers this. Shakes his head.

MIKE
Really pisses me off.
(then)
(MORE)
11/26/14 117.

MIKE (CONT'D)
You know, I actually liked going to
mass when I was a kid.

SACHA
Why’d you stop?

MIKE
Typical shit.
(then)
But the weird thing is, I think
there was a part of me that figured
one day, maybe I’d go back. I was
holding on to that.

Sacha watches him, not expecting this.

MIKE (CONT’D)
And when I read those letters,
something just cracked.

SACHA
That’s a shitty feeling.

MIKE
Yeah. It’s a shitty feeling.

Off the two of them, a little lost...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary After dinner, Sacha struggles with the dishwasher, leading to a moment of frustration that catches Hansi's attention. A knock at the door introduces Mike, who engages in a heartfelt conversation with Sacha on the back porch. They delve into their feelings about a recent conflict involving Robby and church, revealing their emotional struggles and reflections on the past. The scene captures a tense yet introspective atmosphere, culminating in a shared sense of vulnerability and confusion between Sacha and Mike.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the internal conflicts and emotional depth of the characters, creating a poignant and introspective moment that resonates with the audience. The dialogue is raw and authentic, capturing the characters' vulnerability and inner turmoil.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the characters' crisis of faith and emotional turmoil adds depth and complexity to the narrative. It provides insight into the characters' motivations and internal conflicts, enriching the overall story.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene focuses more on character development and emotional exploration than plot progression, it contributes to the overarching narrative by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations and struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of personal struggles and emotional turmoil, particularly in the context of religion and faith. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene effectively develops the characters of Mike and Sacha, revealing their vulnerabilities, regrets, and internal conflicts. Their interactions and dialogue showcase their emotional depth and complexity, making them relatable and compelling.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mike and Sacha undergo significant emotional changes in the scene, grappling with their faith, regrets, and disillusionment. Their introspective conversations and reflections showcase their growth and internal struggles, adding depth to their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Sacha's internal goal in this scene is to confront her emotions and frustrations, particularly regarding her past experiences with church and her anger towards certain individuals. This reflects her deeper needs for closure and emotional release.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to comfort and support Mike, who is struggling with his own emotions and beliefs. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating complex interpersonal relationships and providing emotional support.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

While there is internal conflict and emotional tension within the characters, the scene focuses more on introspection and personal struggles rather than external conflict. The conflict is subtle but impactful in highlighting the characters' emotional journeys.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but effective, with the characters facing internal conflicts and emotional challenges that add depth and complexity to their interactions. The audience is left wondering how the characters will navigate their personal struggles.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' crisis of faith, regrets, and emotional turmoil. While the personal stakes are high for the characters, the scene does not involve external threats or immediate danger.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene does not significantly advance the plot in terms of external events, it deepens the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations and emotional journeys. It adds layers of complexity to the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' unexpected emotional revelations and the shifting dynamics of their relationships. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will navigate their personal struggles.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs and experiences with religion, specifically their struggles with faith, anger, and emotional turmoil. This challenges their values and worldviews, leading to introspective conversations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, delving into the characters' vulnerabilities, regrets, and emotional turmoil. It creates a poignant and introspective atmosphere, resonating with viewers on a deep emotional level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and authentic, capturing the characters' inner turmoil and emotional struggles. It conveys a sense of vulnerability and introspection, adding depth to the scene and enhancing the audience's connection to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, relatable character interactions, and realistic dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' personal struggles and conflicts, creating a compelling and immersive experience.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of emotional tension and introspective conversations. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-paced and engaging, contributing to the overall effectiveness of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural progression of events, starting with a tense moment in the kitchen and transitioning to a heartfelt conversation on the porch. The structure effectively builds emotional tension and depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil of the characters, particularly Sacha and Mike, as they grapple with their feelings about the church and the investigation. However, the transition from Sacha's frustration with the dishwasher to the deeper conversation with Mike feels somewhat abrupt. The initial action of Sacha struggling with the dishwasher serves as a metaphor for her internal conflict, but it could be more seamlessly integrated into the dialogue that follows.
  • The dialogue between Sacha and Mike is authentic and relatable, showcasing their shared frustrations and personal histories with the church. However, the pacing could be improved. The scene feels slightly drawn out in parts, particularly during the dialogue about their past experiences with church. Tightening the dialogue could enhance the emotional impact and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • While the scene does a good job of revealing character backstory, it could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the atmosphere. The setting of the kitchen and porch is underutilized; incorporating more sensory details about the environment could help ground the scene and make it more immersive for the audience.
  • The emotional stakes are present, but the scene could be elevated by incorporating more subtext. For instance, Sacha's anger and Mike's disillusionment could be contrasted with moments of silence or hesitation, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their shared experiences without explicitly stating everything. This would add depth to their conversation and make the emotional revelations more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a pause after Sacha slams the dishwasher rack to emphasize the tension before Mike arrives. This could heighten the emotional stakes and allow the audience to absorb Sacha's frustration.
  • Tighten the dialogue by removing any repetitive phrases or filler words. For example, instead of 'I dunno why I got so pissed off,' Mike could say, 'I don't know why I got so angry.' This would make the dialogue feel more natural and concise.
  • Incorporate more visual and sensory details about the kitchen and porch setting. Describe the sounds of the dishwasher, the smell of dinner, or the ambiance of the evening to create a more vivid scene.
  • Introduce more subtext in the dialogue. For example, instead of explicitly stating their feelings about the church, allow the characters to hint at their emotions through their actions and reactions, creating a more nuanced conversation.



Scene 52 -  Complicity in Elegance
151 INT. FAIRMONT HOTEL, OAK ROOM, DOWNTOWN BOSTON - NIGHT 151

The posh bar of one of Boston’s oldest hotels. Robby is at
the bar, a glass of red wine in front of him.

PETER CONLEY
Looks like a long day.

ROBBY
Hey Pete.

PETER CONLEY
I’m sorry to make it longer. Brian?

Peter Conley sits, nods to the barman: ‘the usual.’

ROBBY
Anyone ever said no to a drink with
you, Pete?

PETER CONLEY
Sure. The trick is to keep asking.
(raising his glass)
For Boston.
11/26/14 118.


ROBBY
For Boston.
(drinks, then)
So, you here for the Cardinal?

PETER CONLEY
No, no, I wouldn’t presume to speak
for the Cardinal.
(then)
You gotta a lot of people here who
respect you, Robby, respect your
work.

ROBBY
Good to know.

PETER CONLEY
It’s ‘cause you care about this
place. It’s why you do what you do,
it’s who you are. But people need
the Church more than ever right now.
You can feel it. And the Cardinal
may not be perfect but we can’t
throw out all the good he’s doing
over a few bad apples.

Robby lets this sink in. Nods as if in agreement.

PETER CONLEY (CONT’D)
I’m bringing this up with you
because I know this is Baron’s idea.
His agenda. And I gotta tell you,
honest to God, I don’t think he
cares about this city the way we do.
How could he?

Robby looks at Conley. A long beat.

ROBBY
This is how it happens, isn’t it,
Pete?

PETER CONLEY
What’s that?

ROBBY
A guy leans on a guy and suddenly
the whole town just looks the other
way.

Stung. Pete downs his drink. Gets up.
11/26/14 119.


PETER CONLEY
Robby, look. Marty Baron is just
trying to make his mark. He’ll be
here for a couple years and he’s
gonna move on. Just like he did in
New York and Miami. Where you gonna
go?

He starts to go.

ROBBY
Pete?
(Pete turns)
When we do run the story, I’m gonna
need a comment from the Cardinal.

Conley takes it. Then smiles.

PETER CONLEY
We’ll talk again later. Good night,
Robby.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the Oak Room of the Fairmont Hotel, Robby and Peter Conley engage in a tense discussion about the Church's influence and the implications of their reporting. Conley expresses skepticism about Marty Baron's agenda, while Robby reflects on the culture of complicity surrounding powerful figures. The conversation highlights their differing views on the Church's leadership and ends with Robby requesting a comment from the Cardinal, leaving him contemplative as Conley departs.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Exploration of ethical dilemmas
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively static setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension, reflection, and confrontation, setting the stage for significant developments in the plot. The dialogue is sharp and thought-provoking, revealing the conflicting perspectives of the characters and adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of journalistic integrity, institutional power, and personal ethics is central to the scene, providing a rich foundation for character development and narrative tension.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as the characters navigate moral dilemmas and power struggles. The scene sets up key conflicts and foreshadows future revelations.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of corruption and loyalty, with authentic character actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene. The interactions between Robby and Peter Conley reveal layers of complexity and internal conflict.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between Robby and Peter Conley hint at internal struggles and potential shifts in beliefs, setting the stage for character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the moral dilemma of exposing corruption within the Church while balancing his loyalty to the city and his relationships.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to gather information and support for the upcoming story about the Cardinal and the Church corruption.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between journalistic duty, loyalty to institutions, and personal beliefs creates a tense atmosphere in the scene, driving the narrative forward and highlighting the stakes involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and moral dilemmas that challenge the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of journalistic integrity, institutional power, and personal ethics. The decisions made by the characters in this scene have far-reaching consequences, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, deepening character relationships, and foreshadowing future revelations. It sets up important plot points and adds layers of complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and moral choices faced by the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between loyalty to the city and the Church's power dynamics. It challenges Robby's beliefs about justice and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to reflection, adding depth to the character dynamics and setting up emotional arcs for future developments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the conflicting ideologies of the characters. It drives the scene forward and adds tension to the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the tension between characters, moral dilemmas, and the unfolding of the corruption storyline.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively through dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven dramatic scene in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Robby and Peter Conley, highlighting the underlying conflict regarding the Church's influence and the pressures faced by journalists. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. While the conversation touches on important themes, it feels somewhat surface-level and could explore the characters' motivations and fears more intricately.
  • Robby's character is established as someone who is aware of the moral complexities of the situation, but the scene could delve deeper into his internal conflict. The dialogue hints at his frustration with the Church's power, yet it lacks a strong emotional anchor that would make his stance more compelling. Adding a moment of vulnerability or a personal anecdote could enhance his character development.
  • Peter Conley's dialogue serves to represent the Church's perspective, but it risks coming off as overly expository. Instead of directly stating his views, consider incorporating more nuanced language that reveals his motivations and the stakes involved. This would create a more engaging dynamic between him and Robby, allowing the audience to infer the tension rather than having it explicitly stated.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit uneven. The initial banter is light, but as the conversation shifts to serious topics, the transition could be smoother. Consider using pauses or physical actions to reflect the weight of the conversation, allowing the audience to feel the shift in tone more organically.
  • The setting of the Oak Room is a strong choice, as it adds a layer of sophistication and history to the conversation. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details that evoke the atmosphere of the bar. Describing the sounds, smells, or even the visual elements of the surroundings could enhance the immersion and provide a richer backdrop for the dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to reveal the characters' true feelings and motivations without stating them outright. This will create a more engaging and layered conversation.
  • Add a moment of vulnerability for Robby, perhaps by referencing a personal experience that connects him to the Church's impact on the community. This will deepen his character and make his conflict more relatable.
  • Revise Peter Conley's dialogue to be less expository and more nuanced, allowing the audience to infer his motivations and the stakes involved in the conversation.
  • Smooth the pacing by using pauses or physical actions to reflect the emotional weight of the conversation, helping the audience transition with the characters from light banter to serious discussion.
  • Enhance the setting by including sensory details that evoke the atmosphere of the Oak Room, such as the sounds of clinking glasses or the warmth of the bar, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 53 -  Tensions Rise Over Church Case Ruling
153 INT. GLOBE, ROBBY’S OFFICE/SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - DAY 153

Robby, Mike, Sacha and Matt sit working. It’s dark, quiet,
serious. A beat, then Robby’s phone RINGS. He answers.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Robby. What? No shit, when? Okay.
(hangs up, calls out)
Hey.

The team looks towards Robby’s office as he walks in.

MIKE
What’s up?

ROBBY
Sweeney ruled in our favor. She
ruled to unseal the documents.

MIKE
Jeez...

The group sits stunned.

154 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING 154

Marty, Ben, Robby, and Canellos (the Metro editor we met
earlier) sit with the Globe lawyer, Albano.
11/26/14 120.


ALBANO
The Church already filed an appeal.
But the trial court’s ruling is
generally upheld in these matters.

MARTY
And when would we get the documents?

ALBANO
Probably takes Cohen a few weeks to
rule, then there’ll be a redaction
process... I’d say they’ll be made
public mid-January.

MARTY
Okay. Thanks, John. And nice work.

Albano exits.

CANELLOS
Metro should run something, Marty.

ROBBY
We can’t run this big.

CANELLOS
Why wouldn’t we? It’s a major First
Amendment victory. Not to mention,
an Irish Catholic judge rules
against the church? That’s a hell
of a precedent.

ROBBY
(to Ben)
We don’t want the Herald going too
deep on this.

MARTY
Why’s that?

ROBBY
You’re gonna have to step out,
Peter.

CANELLOS
I’m not stepping out.

Robby picks up a FOLDER OF DOCUMENTS on the table beside him.
He places it in front of Marty. Marty picks it up.

BEN
Peter.

Marching orders. Canellos exits, not happy.
11/26/14 121.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Robby receives shocking news that Judge Sweeney has ruled to unseal documents related to a case involving the Church, leading to a tense meeting with his team. As they discuss the implications and timeline for the documents, Canellos pushes for a story, but Robby insists on caution, resulting in a conflict that culminates in Canellos being ordered to leave the meeting, highlighting a division in their approach.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and seriousness
  • Clear plot progression
  • Realistic character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Moderate conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively conveys the gravity of the court ruling and the impact it will have on the investigation, creating a sense of urgency and anticipation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of unsealing important documents adds depth to the investigation and raises the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly with the court ruling, setting the stage for future developments in the investigation.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of journalistic integrity and ethical dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters react realistically to the court ruling, showcasing their dedication to the investigation and their individual perspectives.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the team's reactions hint at potential shifts in their dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the legal and ethical challenges presented by the court ruling and the potential publication of sensitive documents. This reflects their deeper desire for journalistic integrity and the pursuit of truth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to decide how to handle the court ruling and the potential publication of the documents. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing in their work as journalists.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict surrounding the decision on how to proceed with the unsealed documents.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and ethical dilemmas creating obstacles for the characters to overcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the team grapples with the decision on how to handle the unsealed documents and their implications for the investigation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key plot development with the court ruling.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists and turns in the characters' decisions and the unfolding of the legal and ethical challenges.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between journalistic freedom and responsibility, as well as the power dynamics between the newspaper and other media outlets.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a sense of anticipation and tension, but the emotional impact is not overwhelming.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the seriousness of the situation and the team's reactions to the court ruling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation with ethical dilemmas and conflicting motivations, keeping the audience invested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through well-timed dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys a sense of urgency and tension with the news of the ruling in favor of unsealing documents. However, the emotional impact could be heightened by including more character reactions beyond just stunned silence. For instance, showing Mike's immediate thoughts or Sacha's concerns could add depth to their responses.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks a certain dynamism. The characters' exchanges feel somewhat flat, especially in a moment that should be charged with excitement or anxiety. Adding more subtext or emotional weight to their lines could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The transition from Robby's phone call to the meeting with Marty and the others feels abrupt. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge this transition, allowing the audience to absorb the significance of the ruling before moving into the next setting.
  • The conflict between Robby and Canellos is introduced but not fully explored. While it establishes tension, it could benefit from more context or stakes. Why is Robby so adamant about not running the story? What are the potential consequences? This would make the conflict more engaging.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat unresolved note with Canellos leaving unhappy. While this adds to the tension, it might be more effective to provide a clearer sense of direction or resolution for Robby and the team, indicating how they plan to move forward with the information they've just received.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more varied character reactions to the news of the ruling. Consider adding a moment where each character expresses their thoughts or feelings, which would create a richer emotional landscape.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext and emotional resonance. For example, characters could express their fears or hopes regarding the implications of the ruling, making the stakes feel more personal.
  • Add a brief moment of reflection after Robby's phone call before transitioning to the meeting. This could be a visual of the team processing the news or a quick exchange that highlights their collective anxiety.
  • Expand on the conflict between Robby and Canellos by providing more context for Robby's reluctance to run the story. This could involve a brief flashback or a line that hints at past experiences that inform his caution.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger sense of direction for the team. Perhaps Robby could outline a plan of action or express a determination to investigate further, giving the audience a clearer idea of what comes next.



Scene 54 -  The Urgency of Truth
155 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 155

CLOSE ON the letters. Reveal Marty and Ben reading, STUNNED.

MARTY
When did you --

ROBBY
A couple of weeks ago.

BEN
A couple of weeks?

ROBBY
Yeah.

BEN
And you’re telling us now?

MARTY
These are substantial. They clearly
show that Law was negligent.

Ben and Marty stare at Robby. A beat, then --

ROBBY
I need more time. I want to keep
digging.

BEN
For what? This is the goddamn story.

ROBBY
It’s not the whole story.

BEN
(dismissive)
Tough shit. We’re on a clock now.
Even if we don’t run Sweeney’s
ruling, another paper could find
these letters and fuck the story.

ROBBY
Agreed. But we run the letters
alone, Law apologizes, says it’s a
one time thing, he can bury it.

MARTY
How? These clearly show he knew and
did nothing.

ROBBY
Look, I’m close to stories on 70
priests.
(MORE)
11/26/14 122.

ROBBY (CONT'D)
We nail that along with those
letters, it’s proof that this is
bigger than Law. It’s the whole
system.

Marty considers.

MARTY
You have multiple sources confirming
the 70 priests?

ROBBY
On some. I can get more.

BEN
Too risky. If we’re not buttoned up
on every single one of them, the
Church’ll pick us apart.

Robby’s up against it. He plays his hand.

ROBBY
I think I can get someone from the
other side of the aisle.

BEN
Someone inside the Church?

ROBBY
Yeah, a lawyer.

MARTY
Will he go on the record?


ROBBY
Deep background. But he’s a solid
source.

Marty considers. A beat, then Ben steps in.

BEN
Rezendes needs time to write up the
story. We don’t want to drop this
at Christmas, not after 9/11. We
could run it just after New Year’s,
before the rest of the documents are
released.

MARTY
Okay. Tell Canellos to bury the
ruling in Metro.
(then, to Robby)
You’ve got six weeks.
11/26/14 123.


Robby nods, gets up and leaves. Ben follows him into --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In Marty's office at the Globe, Marty and Ben are taken aback by letters revealing negligence by Law. Robby, who discovered the letters weeks ago, argues for more time to investigate, believing the story is larger than just the letters. Ben, frustrated by the urgency of the situation, pushes for immediate publication to prevent competitors from breaking the story. Despite the tension, Marty ultimately gives Robby a six-week deadline to gather more evidence before they proceed with publication.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Ethical dilemmas
Weaknesses
  • Risk of rushing the story
  • Potential lack of thorough investigation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and urgency, setting up a crucial decision-making moment for the characters. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the plot forward while revealing the complexities of investigative journalism.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of balancing the immediate impact of breaking a story with the need for comprehensive investigation is central to the scene. It explores the complexities of journalistic ethics and the pursuit of truth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, as the characters grapple with a crucial decision that will shape the direction of their investigation. The conflict and stakes are heightened, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to investigative journalism and the ethical dilemmas faced by journalists. The dialogue feels authentic and drives the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, each with distinct motivations and perspectives. Their interactions reveal their individual strengths and weaknesses, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The scene prompts character growth and development, particularly in Robby's approach to the investigation. His willingness to dig deeper and seek alternative sources demonstrates a shift in his perspective.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the full extent of the scandal involving the priests and the Church. He wants to expose the systemic issue, not just individual cases.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to publish the story about the negligent behavior of Law and the Church before other newspapers do.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, both internally among the team members and externally in their decision-making process. The high stakes and moral dilemmas create a sense of urgency and tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and goals among the characters that create tension and drive the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters grapple with the ethical implications of publishing sensitive information that could have far-reaching consequences. The decision they make will shape the course of their investigation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key decision point that will impact the investigation's direction. It sets the stage for future developments and revelations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters and the unexpected turns in the conversation.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the need for thorough investigation and the pressure to publish quickly. Robby wants to dig deeper, while Ben is focused on the immediate story.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from frustration to determination, as the characters grapple with difficult choices. The personal stakes and ethical considerations add depth to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and serves to highlight the conflicting viewpoints of the characters. It effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflict between characters, and the sense of urgency in the dialogue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and moving the story forward at a brisk pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper use of dialogue and action lines.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic, dialogue-driven scene in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency surrounding the investigation, particularly through the dialogue between Robby, Marty, and Ben. However, the pacing feels slightly rushed, especially with the revelation of the letters. A more gradual build-up to the stakes could enhance the emotional weight of the moment.
  • Robby's character is portrayed as cautious and strategic, which is consistent with his previous actions. However, his insistence on needing more time could benefit from a clearer motivation. Why does he feel that additional time is crucial? Providing a specific example or a personal stake could deepen the audience's understanding of his urgency.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the high stakes of the situation, but it occasionally veers into exposition-heavy territory. For instance, when Robby mentions the 70 priests, it feels like a plot point being delivered rather than a natural part of the conversation. Integrating this information more organically could enhance the realism of the dialogue.
  • Ben's dismissive attitude towards Robby's concerns is effective in showcasing the pressure the team is under, but it could be more nuanced. Adding a moment where Ben acknowledges Robby's perspective, even if he ultimately disagrees, could create a more complex dynamic between the characters.
  • The scene ends with a clear resolution regarding the timeline for the story, which is good for narrative clarity. However, it might benefit from a more emotional or dramatic closing line that encapsulates the weight of the decision made, leaving the audience with a lingering sense of urgency.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection for Robby before he insists on needing more time. This could involve him recalling a past experience that informs his cautious approach, thereby deepening his character.
  • Introduce a visual element that emphasizes the gravity of the letters, such as a close-up shot of the letters themselves or the characters' reactions to them, to enhance the emotional impact of the revelation.
  • Incorporate a brief exchange that highlights the personal stakes for each character involved in the investigation. This could help the audience connect more deeply with their motivations and the urgency of the situation.
  • Revise the dialogue to reduce exposition and instead weave in the necessary information through character interactions. This could involve characters referencing past conversations or experiences that naturally lead to the current discussion.
  • End the scene with a more dramatic or poignant line that encapsulates the weight of the decision made, perhaps reflecting on the potential consequences of their actions, to leave the audience with a strong emotional resonance.



Scene 55 -  Tensions Rise Before Christmas
156 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM OUTSIDE MARTY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 156

Ben and Robby walk out.

BEN
Tell Mike I want a draft before
Christmas. And we need a response
from Lake Street. Who does PR for
the Cardinal? Still John Walsh?

ROBBY
No, somebody new, Donna Morrisey,
she came from TV, she’s young.

BEN
Good, get a quote, we need something
from Law to appear even-handed.

ROBBY
Got it.

BEN
And Robby? Next time give me a
goddamn heads up?

Ben exits. Robby takes it on the chin then walks off. As he
does, we hear a child’s voice start into SILENT NIGHT...

157 INVESTIGATION/WRITING MONTAGE 157

As a second child joins in, we see a SERIES OF SHOTS...

157A MIKE’S COMPUTER. 41 days until deadline. The very 157A
start of the story. FIND Mike in SPOTLIGHT, pecking out
the story on his COMPUTER. Matt, coat and briefcase,
walks out...

157I Sacha with Phil, Crowley and another guy at a shitty 157I
DINER, sad Christmas decor. Sacha doesn’t eat, she
writes on a pad.

157Fa MIKE’S COMPUTER. 21 days until deadline. The story 157Fa
is further along...

157Fb Matt drives down the street in HIS CAR, eyes on an old 157Fb
man, putting down salt on the front walk of the
TREATMENT CENTER.

157E In BEN’S OFFICE, Mike watches Ben and Robby read the 157E
story. Cross outs. He hands it back to Mike.
Not there yet.
11/26/14 124.


157F A SMALL HYDE PARK LIVING ROOM. A man in 40s cries, 157F
talking to Sacha. A Christmas tree in the background.

157J MIKE’S COMPUTER. 8 days until deadline. More edits on 157J
the story. FIND Mike in his APARTMENT. Editing. A beer
by the computer...

157Ja An E-MAIL to Robby from Ben: ‘Where are we on your 157Ja
source? It’s time.’ Find Robby IN HIS OFFICE, staring
at the computer.

157M A night mass at an EAST BOSTON CHURCH. 157M

As the children’s choir finishes Silent Night, we FIND
Mike, in the doorway, standing there. Watching. Cut to --

161 EXT. SULLIVAN HOUSE, BROOKLINE - NIGHT 161

The door of a pretty colonial, a wreath still up. A hand
knocks. The door opens. A pretty woman (JIM’S WIFE) smiles.

JIM’S WIFE
Robby. What a nice surprise.

REVEAL Robby at the door. He walks into --

162 INT. SULLIVAN HOUSE, JIM’S HOME OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 162

Jim sits at on a leather couch watching golf. Through a
door, we see a Christmas tree. His wife and Robby walk in.

JIM’S WIFE
Look who I found outside.

Jim looks up, less than happy to see Robby standing there.

JIM
Hon, give us a minute, will you?

Jim’s wife looks surprised.

JIM’S WIFE
Sure.

ROBBY
Good to see you, Karen.

She leaves. Jim turns off the TV,

JIM
What’s up?

Robby pulls out a list, hands it to Jim.
11/26/14 125.


ROBBY
I’m out of time, Jim. We’ve got
cover-up stories on 70 priests, but
the boss isn’t gonna run it unless I
get confirmation from your side.

Jim turns off the TV, looks it over.

JIM
Are you out of your mind?

ROBBY
Come on. This is our town, Jimmy.
We all knew something was going on
and no one did a thing. We gotta
put an end to it.

JIM
Don’t tell me what I gotta do!
Yeah, I helped defend these
scumbags, but that’s my job, Robby.
I was doing my job!

ROBBY
Yeah. You and everyone else.

Jim stands, hands Robby the list.

JIM
Get out of my house.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a bustling newsroom, Ben and Robby discuss the urgency of drafting a report before Christmas and the new PR contact, Donna Morrisey. After Ben's assertive instructions, Robby reflects on the criticism he received. The scene transitions into a montage showcasing various characters, including Mike and Sacha, as they work on the investigation, accompanied by a children's choir singing 'Silent Night.' The tension escalates when Robby confronts Jim about cover-up stories involving priests, leading to a heated exchange where Jim refuses to cooperate, ultimately asking Robby to leave his home.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, emotionally charged, and pivotal in advancing the plot. It effectively conveys the internal struggle of the characters and sets the stage for significant revelations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exposing a cover-up within the Church and the moral dilemma faced by the characters is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the narrative and raises important ethical questions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the revelation of crucial information and the escalation of conflict. It propels the story forward and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the investigative journalism genre by focusing on the personal and moral struggles of the characters involved. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their conflicting motivations are effectively portrayed. The scene allows for character growth and reveals layers of complexity within each individual.

Character Changes: 8

The scene prompts significant character growth and internal conflict, particularly for Robby, as he grapples with his moral compass and professional obligations.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal is to uncover the truth and expose the cover-up stories on priests, reflecting his desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 7.5

Robby's external goal is to get confirmation from Jim's side to run the cover-up stories on priests, reflecting the immediate challenge he faces in getting the information needed for the story.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving personal, moral, and professional stakes. It heightens the emotional tension and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition between Robby and Jim is strong, with conflicting values and motivations driving the conflict in the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, involving the exposure of a cover-up within the Church, personal relationships, and professional integrity. The characters face significant consequences for their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting up future plot developments. It marks a turning point in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected emotional outbursts and moral conflicts that arise between the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the moral dilemma of exposing the truth versus loyalty to one's job and community. Robby's belief in justice clashes with Jim's defense of the priests as part of his job.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking empathy and tension in the audience. The characters' struggles and the weight of their decisions resonate strongly, creating a powerful connection.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the inner turmoil of the characters. It drives the conflict forward and adds depth to the emotional resonance of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflicts, moral dilemmas, and high stakes, keeping the audience invested in the characters' choices and actions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation between Robby and Jim.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict, leading to a dramatic confrontation between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from a tense meeting to a montage, which helps to convey the urgency of the investigation. However, the dialogue between Ben and Robby feels somewhat perfunctory and lacks emotional depth. While it serves its purpose in moving the plot forward, it could benefit from more subtext or tension to reflect the high stakes of their investigation.
  • The introduction of Donna Morrisey as the new PR contact is a good plot point, but it feels a bit rushed. The audience may not fully grasp her significance or the implications of her being 'young and from TV.' This could be an opportunity to explore the dynamics of media relations with the Church more deeply.
  • The montage that follows is visually engaging, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more emotional beats or character reflections. The juxtap of the children's choir singing 'Silent Night' with the serious nature of the investigation is a strong choice, but the montage could delve deeper into the characters' emotional states during this time.
  • The scene ends with Robby taking criticism from Ben, which is a nice touch, but it could be more impactful if we saw Robby's internal struggle or frustration more clearly. This would help the audience connect with his character on a deeper level.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional weight to the dialogue between Ben and Robby. Perhaps include a moment where Robby expresses his own fears or doubts about the investigation, which would create a more relatable character arc.
  • Expand on the introduction of Donna Morrisey. A brief line about her background or her approach to PR could add depth and set the stage for future interactions.
  • In the montage, include brief moments of reflection from the characters as they work. For example, show Mike pausing to think about the implications of what he's writing, or Sacha looking up from her notes with a pained expression. This would enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • End the scene with a stronger visual or emotional hook. Instead of just Robby walking off, consider a moment where he looks back at the newsroom, conflicted about the weight of the story they are pursuing, which would leave the audience with a lingering sense of tension.



Scene 56 -  Confrontation and Urgency
163 EXT. SULLIVAN HOUSE, BROOKLINE - MOMENTS LATER 163

Robby walks out of the house, toward his car.

JIM
Hey!

Robby turns, finds Sullivan.

JIM (CONT’D)
You come to my home and lay this
shit on me!
(then)
You’re right, Robby, we all knew
something was going to on. So where
were you? What took you so long?!

This lands with Robby. No answer.

ROBBY
I don’t know, Jimmy.

Jim shakes his head, looks like he might slug Robby.
11/26/14 126.


JIM
Give me the list.

Jim holds out his hand. Robby hands him the list. Jim eyes
the first page, flips to the second. He checks the names...
then flips back. He looks at Robby. Holds out a hand for a
pen. Robby gives him one.

Jim leans on the roof of Robby’s car. Marks up the list,
then hands it back to Robby. Nothing more to say, Jim turns
and walks away. Robby looks down at the list. Reacts.

THE ENTIRE first page is CIRCLED. And the second.

163A EXT. GLOBE - DAY (FORMERLY 171A, ALREADY SHOT) 163A

The Globe Building. Snow falls.

MIKE (INTO PHONE, PRELAP)
Larry, we’re going to press in six
hours.

164 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - DAY 164

Mike and Matt work the phones.

MATT (INTO PHONE)
Donna Morrisey said she’d call us
with a quote from Law hours ago.

MIKE (INTO PHONE) MATT (INTO PHONE)
That’s what I thought. Okay, When did you talk to her? *
Larry. Yeah. That’s good to know. *
Thanks, Pete.

They hang up. Mike walks to the coffee machine.

MIKE
Anything?

MATT
Conley said Donna Morrisey should
have called, he just left Lake
Street.

MIKE
Yeah. Rasky said the same thing.

MATT
This is ridiculous. You’d think
they want to get out ahead of this.
11/26/14 127.


MIKE
They’d be idiots not to. I’d love
to see their faces when they read
this.

Both of them wait.

MATT
You know, Sunday’s the Feast of the
Epiphany.

MIKE
Seems appropriate.

The phone rings. Mike grabs it.

MIKE (INTO PHONE) (CONT’D)
Mike Rezendes. Hi Donna. Thanks for
calling. I just had a few questions
if you have a minute....

Mike listens. Matt waits.

MIKE (CONT’D)
What? I just hung up with Larry
Rasky...

He listens, then grabs a pad and starts writing furiously.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary Robby leaves the Sullivan house and is confronted by Jim, who is frustrated with Robby's delayed response to a serious situation. Jim demands a list from Robby, marking significant pages before walking away, leaving Robby to ponder the implications. The scene shifts to the Globe building, where Mike and Matt are racing against a press deadline, discussing the urgency of gathering quotes and information amidst the tension.
Strengths
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension
  • Setting up future conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Lack of deep emotional exploration
  • Some character interactions could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and reveals crucial information, but could benefit from more dynamic character interactions and deeper emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of uncovering sensitive information and facing resistance from various parties is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly in this scene with the revelation of crucial information and the confrontation between characters, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to a confrontational moment, with authentic character reactions and dialogue that feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, but there is room for deeper exploration of their emotional struggles and growth.

Character Changes: 8

There is some character development, particularly in Robby's confrontation with Jim, but more significant changes could enhance the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Robby's internal goal in this scene is to confront his own guilt and shame for not acting sooner. It reflects his deeper need for redemption and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

Robby's external goal is to hand over a list to Jim and face the consequences of his actions. It reflects the immediate challenge of owning up to his mistakes.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between characters and the resistance they face in uncovering sensitive information adds depth to the scene and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting emotions and motivations driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters uncover sensitive information and face resistance, impacting their careers and the reputation of powerful figures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the raw emotions and unexpected reactions from the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between loyalty and truth. Jim expects loyalty from Robby, while Robby struggles with the truth of his inaction.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a moderate emotional response due to the tense and frustrated atmosphere, but could benefit from deeper emotional exploration of the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation, but could benefit from more nuanced exchanges to enhance character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict and high stakes between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional intensity, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, enhancing the impact of the dialogue and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a confrontational moment, building tension and emotional stakes effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Robby and Jim, showcasing the emotional weight of their conversation. Jim's anger is palpable, and Robby's subdued response highlights his internal conflict. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, Jim's accusation could include a more personal element that ties back to their history, making the confrontation feel even more impactful.
  • The physical action of Jim marking up the list adds a visual element that emphasizes the gravity of the situation. However, the scene could be enhanced by including more sensory details, such as the coldness of the air or the sound of snow crunching underfoot, to create a more immersive atmosphere.
  • Robby's silence after Jim's accusation is powerful, but it may leave the audience wanting more insight into his thoughts. A brief internal monologue or a flashback could provide context for Robby's hesitation and guilt, enriching the character's depth.
  • The transition to the Globe building feels abrupt. While it effectively moves the story forward, a smoother transition could help maintain the emotional weight of the previous confrontation. Consider adding a moment of reflection for Robby before shifting scenes, allowing the audience to process the tension.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the dialogue by incorporating more personal stakes or history between Robby and Jim to heighten the emotional impact of their confrontation.
  • Add sensory details to the scene, such as the cold air or the sound of snow, to create a more immersive atmosphere and enhance the visual storytelling.
  • Consider including a brief internal monologue or flashback for Robby to provide insight into his feelings of guilt or conflict, deepening his character development.
  • Smooth the transition to the Globe building by including a moment of reflection for Robby, allowing the audience to process the emotional weight of the previous scene before moving on.



Scene 57 -  Facing the Fallout
165 INT. GLOBE, MARTY’S OFFICE - DAY 165

Marty sits reading copy. He crosses something out. Ben,
Robby and Sacha sit opposite Marty.

BEN
What?

MARTY
Another adjective.

Mike and Matt roll in.

ROBBY
Anything?

MIKE
Law just turned us down.

BEN
Jesus Christ.

MIKE
I just got off the phone with Donna
Morrisey. She said, quote:
(MORE)
11/26/14 128.

MIKE (CONT'D)
(off his pad)
“We don’t even want to know what the
questions are.” End quote.

ROBBY
She really said that?

MIKE
(slight smile)
Yeah.

BEN
(to Marty)
That oughta do it.

MARTY
(writing)
“The Church had no interest in
knowing what the Globe’s questions
would be.”
(hands it to Mike)
Work it in somewhere before the
jump.
(to the team)
Anything else?

ROBBY
Matt wants to put the letters online
so readers can see it for
themselves.

MATT
We can run the URL at the bottom of
the article. It’s pretty
straightforward.

No one really knows what that means.

MARTY
Okay.

MATT
We also put the Spotlight tip line
at the end of the story so people
can call in. Goes directly to our
office.

SACHA
Matt and I will be in in the morning
in case we get any calls.

BEN
I’m more concerned about the phones
at reception.
(MORE)
11/26/14 129.

BEN (CONT'D)
After we ran the Porter story, the
message center was tied up for
weeks. It was a real problem.

MATT
And we had picketers. Lots of them.

MARTY
I’ll talk to Gilman about security
and the phones.
(to Robby)
How’s it coming on the folo story?

Robby looks to Sacha.

SACHA
We’ve nailed down multiple stories
on seventy priests.

MARTY
All seventy?

SACHA
Yeah. And with the confirmation
from Robby’s source, we’re ready to
go. We can have a draft next week.

MARTY
Robby, that source of yours, is this
someone we could revisit?

ROBBY
Might be tough.

BEN
But he has no problem helping the
church protect dozens of dirty
priests. Guy’s a scumbag.

Matt glances at Robby. Who’s looking at Ben.

MATT
He’s a lawyer, he’s doing his job.

MIKE
He a shill for the Church.

BEN
He knew and did nothing.

MIKE
He coulda said something about this
years ago. Maybe saved some lives.
11/26/14 130.


ROBBY
What about us?

BEN
What’s that supposed to mean?

ROBBY
We had all the pieces. Why didn’t
we get it sooner?

BEN
We didn’t have all the pieces.

ROBBY
We had Saviano, we had Barrett, we
had Geoghan. We had the directories
in the basement.

BEN
You know what? We got it now.

MIKE
Robby, this story needed Spotlight.

ROBBY
Spotlight’s been around since 1970.

BEN
So what? We didn’t know the scope
of this. No one did. This started
with one goddamn priest, Robby.

Robby looks at Sacha. A beat.

ROBBY
MacLeish sent us a letter on 20
priests, years ago. Sacha found the
clip.

MIKE
Are you freaking kidding me? 20
priests?

BEN
When?

SACHA
Just after Porter. December of ‘93.

ROBBY
We buried the story in Metro. No
folo. Sacha found the clip.
11/26/14 131.


BEN
That was you. You were Metro.

ROBBY
Yeah, that was me. I’d just taken
over. I don’t remember it at all.
But yeah.

The room quiets. Gut punch. Ben shakes his head.

MARTY
Uh, can I say something?

They turn to him.

MARTY (CONT’D)
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that
we spend most of our time stumbling
around in the dark. Suddenly a
light gets turned on, and there’s
fair share of blame to go around.
(then)
I can’t speak to what happened
before I arrived but all of you have
done some very good reporting here,
reporting that I believe is going to
have an immediate and considerable
impact on our readers.
(then)
For me, this kind of story is why we
do this.

The team takes this in.

MARTY (CONT’D)
Having said that, Cardinal Law and
the Catholic community are going to
have a very strong response to this.
So if you need to take a moment,
you’ve earned it. But I will need
you back here Monday morning focused
and ready to do your job.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Marty's office at the Globe, the team confronts the repercussions of their investigation into the Church. With Cardinal Law refusing to answer questions, they strategize on how to present their findings, including launching a tip line. Tensions rise as Robby critiques their past reporting and the missed opportunities to connect the dots on the abuse scandal. Marty attempts to unify the team, acknowledging their hard work while preparing them for the backlash they may face from the Church. The scene captures a tense and reflective atmosphere as the team grapples with the gravity of their findings.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on character dynamics, emotional depth, and the weight of the story's impact. The dialogue is sharp, the tension is palpable, and the stakes are high, making it a compelling and pivotal moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the team's realization of missed opportunities in their investigation, the ethical dilemmas they face, and the looming confrontation with the Church. It delves deep into the core themes of journalism, responsibility, and the pursuit of truth.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene advances the overarching narrative by revealing new information, deepening character relationships, and setting up future conflicts. It adds layers to the investigation and sets the stage for the team's next steps.

Originality: 8.5

The scene offers a fresh perspective on investigative journalism and the challenges faced by journalists in uncovering sensitive information. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with distinct personalities, conflicting motivations, and emotional depth. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and internal struggles, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 9

The scene prompts reflection and growth in the characters, particularly in Robby, who confronts his past decisions and the missed opportunities in their investigation. The realization of their mistakes leads to internal changes and a renewed sense of purpose.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to ensure the success of the investigative story and uphold the integrity of journalism. This reflects their deeper desire for truth and justice.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to publish a groundbreaking story that exposes the truth about the Catholic Church's involvement in a scandal. This reflects the immediate challenge they face in uncovering and reporting on sensitive information.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.2

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with internal conflicts among the team members, ethical dilemmas, and the looming confrontation with powerful institutions. The tension is palpable, driving the emotional intensity of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing moral dilemmas, ethical challenges, and internal conflicts. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, as the team grapples with the ethical implications of their investigation, the potential backlash from the Church, and the personal sacrifices they may have to make. The outcome of their choices could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing new information, deepening the investigation, and setting up future conflicts. It propels the narrative towards a crucial turning point and raises the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations and conflicts that arise among the characters. The shifting dynamics and moral dilemmas add a layer of unpredictability to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical responsibility of journalists to uncover and report the truth, even if it means facing backlash or opposition from powerful institutions like the Church. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the importance of investigative journalism and holding institutions accountable.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting a range of emotions from the characters and the audience. The weight of the revelations, the moral dilemmas, and the personal reflections create a deeply emotional and resonant moment in the screenplay.

Dialogue: 9.3

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, realistic, and impactful. It conveys the characters' emotions, conflicts, and moral dilemmas effectively, driving the narrative forward and revealing key aspects of their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, realistic dialogue, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The tension and urgency of the newsroom environment keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' conversations and decisions. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a screenplay. It effectively conveys the pacing and rhythm of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the newsroom environment. It builds suspense and highlights the characters' motivations and conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency surrounding the investigation, particularly through the dialogue between the characters. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, with some exchanges dragging on without adding significant new information or emotional weight.
  • The conflict between Robby and Ben is compelling, but it could benefit from clearer stakes. While they argue about missed opportunities, the scene lacks a sense of urgency that would heighten the emotional stakes of their disagreement. The audience needs to feel the weight of their past mistakes more acutely.
  • Marty's role as a mediator is well-established, but his dialogue could be more impactful. His comments about stumbling in the dark and the need for focus are important, yet they come off as somewhat generic. More specific language or a personal anecdote could enhance his authority and connection to the team.
  • The introduction of the letters and their implications is crucial, but the scene could do more to visually emphasize their significance. A close-up shot of the letters or a moment where a character physically reacts to them could heighten their importance and create a stronger visual narrative.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but there are moments where it feels overly expository. For instance, when characters reiterate information that has already been established, it can slow down the momentum. Streamlining these exchanges would help maintain the scene's pace.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate redundancy and keep the pace brisk. Focus on the most impactful lines that drive the narrative forward.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by incorporating more visceral reactions from the characters regarding their past mistakes. This could involve flashbacks or more intense dialogue that reflects their regret and urgency.
  • Give Marty a more distinct voice by incorporating specific language or anecdotes that reflect his leadership style and personal investment in the story. This will help solidify his role as a guiding force in the team.
  • Visually emphasize the letters' significance by including a moment where a character physically interacts with them, such as holding them up or pointing out key phrases. This can create a stronger visual connection to the narrative.
  • Introduce a ticking clock element to the scene, such as a deadline for publication or an impending response from the Church, to heighten the tension and urgency of the characters' discussions.



Scene 58 -  The Weight of Truth
165A EXT. GLOBE - NIGHT (FORMERLY 171A, ALREADY SHOT) 165A

The building is dark, save for the PRESS ROOM. Through the
window, we see the presses. Running.

166 INT. GLOBE, BEN’S OFFICE - NIGHT (FORMERLY 166A) 166

Ben, coat on, sits alone in his office.

MARTY (O.C.)
Leaving?
11/26/14 132.


Ben looks up. Marty’s in the door. Ben stands.

BEN
Yeah.

Ben walks out into --

166A EXT. GLOBE NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUS (FORMERLY 166B) 166A

Ben and Marty walk across the quiet press room.

MARTY
I just got a call from the Cardinal.

BEN
Really. Why?

MARTY
He wanted to tell me personally that
he had decided not to comment. He
said he wanted to, uh, extend me
that courtesy.

BEN
Jesus, the balls on that guy.
What’d you say?

MARTY
I told him he was making a mistake.
And that we were going to run the
story.

BEN
Damn right we’re gonna run it.

166B INT. GLOBE, PRESSES - NIGHT 166B

The papers run...

167 INT. SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM = NIGHT 167

Old, delicate hands move slowly over copy. Find Sacha’s
Grandmother reading an early edition of the paper. Upset.

Sacha, sitting nearby, watches her. But there’s no emotion,
no empathy. She’s blank, empty. Nothing left to feel...

SACHA’S GRANDMOTHER
Sacha, can I have a drink of water?

SACHA
Sure, Nana.

Sacha gets up, walks into the kitchen.
11/26/14 133.


167A INT. GLOBE, LOADING DOCKS - NIGHT 167A

Bundles of papers fly down CIRCULAR CHUTES into the trucks.
INSIDE THE TRUCKS, men grab the bundles, and stack them.

168 INT. GARABEDIAN’S OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM = NIGHT 168

REVEAL Mitch standing behind his desk, at the window. He
reads another early edition. Then folds it up and hands it
back to Mike... who’s standing in front of the desk.

GARABEDIAN
Can I keep this?

MIKE
Sure. I thought you should see it
first.

GARABEDIAN
Thank you for bringing it by. Now I
have some clients I have to attend
to.

Mitch goes back to work. Same old Mitch. Mike walks out.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a dimly lit newspaper building, Ben prepares to leave his office when Marty informs him that the Cardinal has chosen not to comment on an upcoming story. Despite this, Ben supports Marty's decision to proceed with publication, highlighting their commitment to journalistic integrity. Meanwhile, Sacha's grandmother is distressed by the early edition of the paper, while Sacha remains emotionally detached. The scene captures the tension between authority and the press, culminating in the urgency of the story's release as bundles of papers are loaded into trucks.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Ethical dilemmas
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict, setting up a crucial moment in the narrative. The emotional weight and high stakes add depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of journalistic integrity and the responsibility to report on sensitive issues is effectively explored. The scene delves into the ethical complexities of investigative journalism.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the team grapples with the decision to publish a controversial story. The conflict and resolution drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the classic conflict between truth and power, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the setting and situation.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' motivations and conflicts are well-developed, adding depth to the scene. The interactions reveal their ethical dilemmas and personal convictions.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no drastic character changes in this scene, the characters' convictions and relationships are tested, setting the stage for potential growth in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uphold journalistic integrity and report the truth, even in the face of opposition.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to publish a controversial story despite pushback from powerful figures.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters' differing opinions and the high stakes of the decision to publish the story creates intense drama. The tension is palpable.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with powerful figures trying to suppress the truth and the protagonist standing up for journalistic integrity.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident as the characters face the decision to publish a controversial story that could have far-reaching consequences. The ethical and personal risks are substantial.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a crucial decision point and setting up the publication of a significant story. It advances the narrative arc.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected decisions made by the characters and the tension between truth and power.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the values of truth and power. The protagonist believes in the importance of reporting the truth, while powerful figures try to suppress the story for their own benefit.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact is significant, as the characters grapple with moral dilemmas and personal convictions. The scene evokes a sense of urgency and ethical responsibility.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation. It reveals the characters' emotions and conflicting viewpoints.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, moral dilemma, and intense dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and maintaining a sense of urgency throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting follows the standard format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic moment in a screenplay, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency surrounding the publication of the story, particularly through the dialogue between Marty and Ben. However, the emotional weight of the moment could be enhanced by providing more internal conflict for the characters, especially Sacha, who appears emotionally detached. This detachment could be explored further to show the toll the investigation has taken on her.
  • The transition from the Globe newsroom to Sacha's grandmother's house feels abrupt. While it serves to juxtapose the professional world of journalism with the personal impact of the story, the emotional connection between Sacha and her grandmother could be deepened. This would help the audience understand Sacha's emotional state better and why she is blank and empty.
  • The visual elements, such as the dark building contrasted with the illuminated press room, are strong and create a sense of foreboding. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further. For example, describing the sounds of the presses or the atmosphere in the loading docks could enhance the urgency of the moment.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from the Globe to Sacha's grandmother's house. Slowing down the moment when Sacha interacts with her grandmother could allow for a more poignant exploration of their relationship and the emotional weight of the story they are about to publish.
  • Mitch's brief interaction with Mike at the end of the scene feels somewhat disconnected from the emotional core of the preceding moments. While it serves to show Mitch's professionalism, it could be more impactful if it tied back to the emotional stakes of the story, perhaps by having Mitch express concern or solidarity with Mike regarding the implications of the article.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of internal reflection for Sacha as she watches her grandmother read the paper. This could provide insight into her emotional state and the weight of the story they are about to publish.
  • Enhance the transition between the Globe newsroom and Sacha's grandmother's house by including a brief moment of Sacha's thoughts or feelings about the story, which would help bridge the two settings more effectively.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to create a richer atmosphere. Describing the sounds of the presses, the smell of ink, or the cold air outside could help immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Slow down the pacing during Sacha's interaction with her grandmother to allow for a more meaningful exchange. This could involve a brief dialogue that reveals their relationship and the impact of the story on their family.
  • Consider having Mitch express a more personal reaction to the story when he receives the early edition from Mike. This could help tie his character back into the emotional stakes of the investigation.



Scene 59 -  Echoes of Innocence
169 INT. GARABEDIAN OFFICE, HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS. 169

Mike walks back toward the elevator. He presses the button,
waits, hears children laughing. He peers into --

170 INT. GARABEDIAN OFFICE, SMALL WAITING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 170

A MOTHER sits with TWO YOUNG CHILDREN, ten and eight, playing
innocently. The mother, distraught, fingers ROSARY BEADS.
It’s reminiscent of our open.

GARABEDIAN
Both boys were abused. Jamaica
Plain. Two weeks ago.

In the HALLWAY, Garabedian stands behind Mike.

GARABEDIAN (CONT’D)
Keep doing your work, Mr. Rezendes.

He goes in. Mike just stands there, GUTTED. Off Mike, his
reflection playing on the window, CUT TO --

172A EXT. GLOBE - NIGHT 172A

The GREEN AND GOLD TRUCKS roll out from the Globe. We see
headlights, a car waits for the trucks to pass.

PUSH IN... and we see it’s Robby behind the wheel. CUT INTO --
11/26/14 134.


172B INT. ROBBY’S CAR - SAME TIME 172B

Robby sits in his car watching the trucks roll out.

A173 EXT. BOSTON - DAWN A173

The SPARKLING BOSTON SKYLINE. The City on the Hill.

173 EXT. WEST ROXBURY, BOSTON - EARLY MORNING 173

A welcome mat. A copy of the Globe is slapped down. We see
the HEADLINE: Church Allowed Abuse by Priest for Years.

Reveal Matt walking away from the door. We see it’s the
treatment center near his house.

174 INT. GLOBE, HALLWAY - EARLY MORNING 174

We’re behind Sacha as she walks down the hall. She opens the
firehose box, grabs a key. Unlocks the door to Spotlight.

174A INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT - EARLY MORNING 174A

Sacha enters, turns on the lights, takes off her coat. Matt
enters.

MATT
Hey.

SACHA
Morning.

MATT
How’d you sleep?

SACHA
Not very well. You?

MATT
I haven’t slept well for months.
I’ve actually started writing.

SACHA
Writing?

MATT
Yeah, I’m working on a book. Gives
me something else to focus on.

SACHA
That’s great. What kind of book?

MATT
Horror.
11/26/14 135.


Sacha reacts, the irony not lost on her. The phone RINGS.
The tip line. They both stare. At last, Matt picks up.

MATT (INTO PHONE) (CONT’D)
Spotlight. Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Can I get your name please?

He grabs a pen. As he and Sacha trade a look, CUT TO --
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary In a somber scene, Mike grapples with the emotional toll of child abuse cases as he encounters a distraught mother and her children in a waiting room. Garabedian urges him to persist in his work, leaving Mike feeling overwhelmed. Meanwhile, Matt and Sacha share a moment of connection over their sleeplessness and Matt's new horror writing project, highlighting their internal struggles. The scene captures the stark contrast between the innocence of children playing and the gravity of the abuse being discussed, culminating in Matt answering a tip line call that signals the continuation of their investigative efforts.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Plot progression
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential for pacing issues in dialogue-heavy sections

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the investigation while moving the plot forward and setting up future conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of investigative journalism and the pursuit of truth in the face of adversity is effectively portrayed. The scene delves into the complexities of uncovering abuse within the Church.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with key revelations about abuse cases and the characters' reactions driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the investigative genre by focusing on the emotional impact of the cases on the characters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' emotions and motivations are well-developed, adding depth to the scene. Their interactions reveal their dedication to the investigation and the personal toll it takes.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes in response to the revelations and conflicts in the scene, deepening their development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the emotional toll of the abuse cases he is investigating. It reflects his deeper need for justice, his fear of failure, and his desire to make a difference.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to continue investigating the abuse cases and uncover the truth. It reflects the immediate challenge of facing powerful institutions and seeking justice for the victims.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of internal and external conflict in the scene, as the characters grapple with the weight of their investigation and the resistance they face.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges from powerful institutions and their own internal conflicts.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters uncover disturbing truths about abuse within the Church and face resistance in their pursuit of justice.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, setting up future conflicts, and deepening the characters' arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional reactions of the characters and the twists in the investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the pursuit of truth and justice against the protection of powerful institutions and the status quo. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the system and his values of integrity and accountability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of distress, determination, and anxiety in the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, conveying the characters' distress, determination, and the gravity of the situation they are facing.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the suspense of the investigation, and the subtle interactions between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of introspection with moments of action, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of the investigation, particularly through Mike's reaction to the news of the boys' abuse. However, the transition from the waiting room to the subsequent scenes feels abrupt. The emotional impact could be heightened by lingering on Mike's reaction a bit longer before cutting away.
  • The juxtaposition of the innocent laughter of the children with the mother's distress is powerful, but it could be further emphasized through more descriptive visuals or dialogue that highlights the contrast. This would deepen the audience's emotional engagement with the gravity of the situation.
  • The dialogue from Garabedian is succinct but lacks depth. While it conveys the necessary information, it could benefit from a more personal touch or a moment of reflection that underscores the horror of the situation, enhancing the emotional stakes.
  • The transition to Robby in the car feels somewhat disconnected from the emotional core of the previous moment. While it serves to show the broader implications of the story, it might be more effective to include a brief moment of reflection from Mike before shifting to Robby, creating a smoother narrative flow.
  • The introduction of Matt's subplot about writing a horror book is intriguing but feels slightly out of place in this context. While it adds a layer to his character, it could be better integrated into the scene's emotional arc or tied back to the main narrative more clearly.
Suggestions
  • Consider extending Mike's moment of reflection after Garabedian's statement to allow the audience to fully absorb the emotional weight of the news. This could involve a brief internal monologue or visual cues that show his turmoil.
  • Enhance the contrast between the children's laughter and the mother's distress by incorporating more sensory details, such as the sounds of the children playing juxtaposed with the mother's quiet sobs or the clinking of her rosary beads.
  • Revise Garabedian's dialogue to include a more personal or emotional element, perhaps reflecting on the broader implications of the abuse or expressing empathy for the victims, which would add depth to his character and the scene.
  • Create a smoother transition between Mike's emotional moment and Robby's scene by including a brief moment where Mike acknowledges the weight of the situation before cutting to Robby, perhaps with a visual of him looking back at the waiting room.
  • If Matt's subplot about writing a horror book is to remain, consider tying it back to the main narrative by having him reflect on how the horror of the real-life events they are covering influences his writing, creating a thematic connection.



Scene 60 -  From Calm to Chaos
175 EXT. GLOBE, FRONT PARKING LOT - MORNING 175

The small visitor’s lot at the Globe entrance is empty, save
for MIKE’S CAR. Idling. Robby’s car enters, pulls up next
to Mike’s. Robby looks across at Mike. The two men connect.

Mike and Robby get out of their cars.

ROBBY
You do know it’s Sunday, right?

MIKE
I couldn’t get a tee time.

Robby smiles. Mike notes the SECURITY GUARDS at the entrance.

MIKE (CONT’D)
No picketers.

ROBBY
Probably still at church.

They walk in. Warriors returning home.

177 INT. GLOBE, NEWSROOM - EARLY MORNING 177

Mike and Robby walk into the newsroom. It’s QUIET. Mike and
Robby share a CONFUSED look as they reach the desk. LINDA,
the operator, and two others sit by the phones. BORED.

ROBBY
Hey Linda.

MIKE
It’s quiet, huh?

LINDA
Yeah. Easiest overtime I ever made,
phone hasn’t rung once. Marty sent
two of mine down to Spotlight.

Mike and Robby trade a look. Spotlight? They start moving.
11/26/14 136.


LINDA (CONT’D)
(calls out after them)
Great article guys.

ROBBY MIKE
Thank you. Thanks.

They hustle through the empty newsroom, heading downstairs.
We hold on Marty, in his office. Working. As always.

178 INT. GLOBE, HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 178

Robby and Mike charge from the stairwell. They quickly walk
down the corridor with purpose. As they do, we hear...

A MURMUR. Buzzing. And RINGING PHONES. Mike and Robby
trade a look, pick up the pace. As they approach Spotlight,
the murmur GROWS. We hear more phones... and VOICES...

Mike and Robby get to the door. We HOLD ON them for a second
as they stand in the doorway, looking into --

179 INT. GLOBE, SPOTLIGHT OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 179

Chaos. Sacha and Matt and two INTERNS answering phones.
Overwhelmed. An intern cups a phone, turns to Matt --

INTERN
I got another Shanley victim. SACHA
I’ll take it.
(to Robby)
The phones have been ringing
all morning.

Sacha takes the call. Nearby, Matt’s on the phone, marking
up the board... it has tons of new names, phone numbers.

MATTY (INTO THE PHONE) SACHA (INTO THE PHONE)
Uh huh, yeah. I know it’s This is Sacha Pfeiffer. Yes,
tough to talk about. thank you for calling. Who am
I speaking with?

Mike and Robby stare. Matt spots them.

MATT (INTO PHONE)
Hold one minute please.
(to Mike)
Mike, could you grab that?

Mike moves for his desk, grabs the phone.

MATT (CONT’D)
They’re almost all victims, Robby.
11/26/14 137.


This lands on Robby. A beat. Then he moves to his desk.
Passing Mike, already picking up a phone...

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
This is Spotlight.

Robby moves to his desk. He watches the team answering
phones, working. A beat. Then he grabs a phone.

ROBBY (INTO PHONE)
Spotlight.

FADE TO BLACK.

A CARD APPEARS.

Over the course of 2002, the Spotlight team published
close to 600 stories about the scandal.
The card fades. ANOTHER CARD APPEARS.

249 priests and brothers were publicly accused of
sexual abuse within the Boston Archdiocese.
The number of survivors in Boston is estimated to be
well over 1,000.
The card fades. ANOTHER CARD APPEARS.

In December 2002, Cardinal Law resigned from the
Boston Archdiocese.
He was re-assigned to the Basilica di Santa Maria
Maggiore in Rome, one of the highest ranking Roman
Catholic churches in the world.
The card fades. ANOTHER CARD APPEARS.

Major abuse scandals have been uncovered in the
following places:
11/26/14 138.


Anchorage AK, Fairbanks AK, St. Michael AK, Stebbins
AK, Mobile AL, Phoenix AZ, Tucson AZ, Yuma AZ, Los
Angeles CA, Los Gatos CA, Monterey CA, Oakland CA,
Orange CA, Sacramento CA, San Bernardino CA, San
Diego CA, Santa Barbara CA, Santa Rosa CA, Stockton
CA, Denver CO, Bridgeport CT, Hartford CT, Wilmington
DE, Miami FL, Palm Beach FL, Marietta GA, Savannah
GA, Honolulu HI, Davenport IA, Dubuque IA, Farmington
IA, Grand Mound IA, Chicago IL, Joliet IL, Peoria IL,
Indianapolis IN, Conway Springs KS, Kansas City KS,
Anchorage KY, Covington KY, Louisville KY, New
Orleans LA, Fall River MA, Springfield MA, Wellesley
MA, Worcester MA, Baltimore MD, Portland ME, Detroit
MI, Grand Rapids MI, Collegeville MN, Greenbush MN,
Onamia MN, St.Paul/Minneapolis MN, Cape Girardeau MO,
Hannibal MO, Kansas City MO, St. Louis MO, Jackson
MS, Billings MT, Helena MT, St. Ignatius MT, Raleigh
NC, Fargo ND, Lincoln NE, Omaha NE, Manchester NH,
Camden NJ, Mendham NJ, Gallup NM, Santa Fe NM, Albany
NY, Brooklyn NY, Goshen NY, New York NY, Rochester
NY, Rockville Centre NY, Cincinnati OH, Cleveland OH,
Toledo OH, Baker OR, Portland OR, Altoona PA,
Philadelphia PA, Pittsburgh PA, Scranton PA, East
Greenwich RI, Providence RI, Charleston SC, Marty
Indian School SD, Rosebud Reservation SD, Memphis TN,
Nashville TN, Dallas TX, El Paso TX, Fort Worth TX,
San Antonio TX, Richmond VA, Burlington VT, Briscoe
Memorial, WA, Seattle WA, Spokane WA, Yakima WA,
Milwaukee WI, St. Francis WI
11/26/14 139.


Berazategui Argentina, Buenos Aires Argentina, Morón
Argentina, Paraná Argentina, Pilar Argentina, Quilmes
Argentina, Salta Argentina, Adelaide Australia,
Ballarat Australia, Bass Hill Australia, Bathurst
Australia, Bindoon Australia, Canberra Australia,
Dandenong Australia, Goulburn Australia, Hobart
Australia, Lancefield Australia, Melbourne Australia,
Mildura Australia, Mittagong Australia, Morisset
Australia, Mount Isa Australia, Neerkol Australia,
Newcastle Australia, Perth Australia, Sydney
Australia, Toowoomba Australia, Wagga Wagga
Australia, Wollongong Australia, Hollabrunn Austria,
Bruges Belgium, Flawinne Belgium, Ottré Belgium,
Arapiraca Brazil, Franca Brazil, Mariana Brazil, Rio
de Janeiro Brazil, Antigonish Canada, Chatham Canada,
Igloolik Canada, Sherbrooke Canada, St. John's
Canada, Wilno Canada, Cottolengo Chile, Maipú Chile,
Melipilla Chile, Quilicura Chile, Santiago Chile,
Medellín Colombia, Rab Croatia, Santo Domingo
Dominican Republic, London England, Manchester
England, Middlesbrough England, Preston England,
Reading England, Caen France, Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne
France, Berlin Germany, Munich Germany, Riekhofen
Germany, Ollur India, Curracloe Ireland, Dublin
Ireland, Gortahork Ireland, Kilnacrott Ireland,
Letterfrack Ireland, Lota Ireland, Monageer Ireland,
Wexford Ireland, Nairobi Kenya, Ngong Kenya, Ciudad
de México México, Cuacnopalan México, San Luis Potosí
México, Auckland New Zealand, Christchurch New
Zealand, Feilding New Zealand, Hamilton New Zealand,
Masterton New Zealand, Silverstream New Zealand,
Akute Nigeria, Kircubbin Northern Ireland, Trondheim
Norway, Ayacucho Peru, Chimbote Peru, Bontoc
Philippines, Cebu City Philippines, Manila
Philippines, Naval Philippines, Tubay Philippines,
Poznan Poland, Edinburgh Scotland, Rufisque Senegal,
Bo Sierra Leone, Brits South Africa, Cape Town South
Africa, Comillas Spain, Grenada Spain, Soni Tanzania,
Mérida Venezuela
FADE OUT.
Genres: ["Drama","Investigative Journalism"]

Summary On a quiet Sunday morning, Mike and Robby arrive at the Globe, noting the absence of picketers. They find the newsroom dull, but upon entering the Spotlight office, they are met with chaos as the team is inundated with calls from victims of a scandal. The scene shifts from light-hearted banter to urgent action as Mike and Robby join their colleagues in managing the overwhelming situation, highlighting the gravity of the crisis.
Strengths
  • Realistic portrayal of investigative journalism
  • Intense and chaotic atmosphere
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential for overwhelming the audience with information and emotions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and emotional impact of the investigation, with strong dialogue and character interactions. The chaotic tone adds to the sense of urgency and importance.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of showcasing the overwhelming response to the investigation and the team's commitment to uncovering the truth is well-executed. The scene effectively captures the essence of investigative journalism.

Plot: 9

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, with the team receiving crucial information and facing the challenge of handling a large volume of calls from abuse victims. The scene moves the story forward and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on investigative journalism and the challenges faced by journalists in uncovering scandals. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions are believable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reflect their dedication to the investigation. Each character's role in the team is highlighted, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

The characters experience a shift in their focus and determination as they are faced with the overwhelming response to their investigation. This scene marks a turning point in their commitment to uncovering the truth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the truth and report on the scandal they are investigating. This reflects their deeper desire for justice and accountability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to follow up on leads and investigate the scandal further. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in their journalistic work.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene arises from the overwhelming number of calls and the pressure to handle the information effectively. The internal conflict within the team adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles in their investigation. The uncertainty of the situation adds to the suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the team grapples with the responsibility of handling a large volume of calls from abuse victims and the urgency of their investigation. The outcome will have a significant impact on the community.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information, escalating the stakes, and setting up future developments. It propels the narrative towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information and challenges for the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between truth and power. The characters are faced with the challenge of exposing the scandal despite potential backlash from powerful institutions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as the team deals with the heartbreaking stories of abuse victims and the weight of their responsibility to expose the truth. The emotional depth adds resonance to the narrative.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is impactful and realistic, conveying the urgency and emotional weight of the situation. The conversations between the characters drive the scene forward and reveal their motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it sets up a compelling mystery and introduces high stakes for the characters. The dialogue and action keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the story moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue that flows naturally.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic investigative sequence, building tension and intrigue as the characters delve deeper into the scandal.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and chaos of the Spotlight team's work, contrasting the quiet start of the day with the overwhelming influx of calls from victims. This juxtaposition creates a strong emotional impact, emphasizing the gravity of the situation they are dealing with.
  • The dialogue is natural and reflects the camaraderie between Mike and Robby, which helps to establish their characters and their relationship. However, the initial exchange about it being Sunday feels somewhat forced and could be streamlined to maintain the scene's momentum.
  • The transition from the quiet newsroom to the chaotic Spotlight office is well-executed, using sound design (the ringing phones and murmurs) to build tension. However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding of the environment and the characters' emotions.
  • The pacing of the scene is effective, but it could be improved by varying the sentence structure in the action lines. Some sentences are quite long and could be broken up for better readability and impact.
  • The ending with Robby picking up the phone is a strong choice, as it symbolizes the team's commitment to their work. However, the fade to black could be more impactful if it included a brief moment of silence or a poignant line of dialogue that encapsulates the weight of their task.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue between Mike and Robby at the beginning to make it feel more organic and less like an exposition dump about the day of the week.
  • Add more sensory details to the scene, such as the sounds of the newsroom, the expressions on the characters' faces, and the physical environment, to immerse the reader in the moment.
  • Vary the sentence structure in the action lines to create a more dynamic reading experience. Shorter sentences can heighten tension, while longer ones can provide necessary detail.
  • Incorporate a moment of reflection or a significant line of dialogue before the fade to black to leave the audience with a stronger emotional takeaway.
  • Consider showing more of the characters' reactions to the chaos in the Spotlight office, perhaps through brief internal thoughts or expressions, to deepen the emotional connection with the audience.