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Scene 1 -  Warsaw Under Siege
INT. WARSAW (ARCHIVE) - DAY

Black and white. Street scene. People toing and froing. A
man rattles by.

SUPERIMPOSE CAPTION:

WARSAW 1939

INT. STUDIO, RADIO STATION, WARSAW - DAY

WLADYSLAV SZPILMAN plays Chopin's Nocturne in C sharp minor,
Posthumous. He's twenty-eight years old, elegant and
handsome.

In the booth, separated from the studio by a glass screen,
an engineer, wearing collar and tie, monitors the broadcast.
Behind him, a window to the street with strips of paper
taped on it as protection against blast.

Without warning, a bomb drops nearby, then another and
another. The whole building shudders alarmingly and the
window in the booth shatters.

The engineer and Szpilman exchange a look as a man enters
the booth and talks urgently to the Engineer, then goes.

The engineer makes a 'cut-throat' gesture, but Szpilman
shakes his head, determined to play on.

He plays, then glances at the booth. The engineer has gone,
but through the shattered window he sees fires raging.

Very near, a loud, terrifying explosion. The reverberations
cause plaster to flake and dust to trickle down over his
face.

And then a bomb explodes even closer. The glass screen
separating booth from studio implodes, showering Szpilman
with glass. He stops, frozen.

INT. STAIRS AND LOBBY, RADIO STATION - DAY

Pandemonium. Chaos. People rushing in all directions, many
carrying files, boxes, papers, shouting, calling. Some of
the men in military uniform. The bombing continuous.
Szpilman fights his way down the stairs. He has a small
cut on his forehead and is dabbing it with his handkerchief.
He has a dazed look. Halfway down the stairs, A young woman,
DOROTA, tugs at his sleeve:

DOROTA
Mr. Szpilman.

He turns, to see an extremely pretty young woman gazing
adoringly at him while they're jostled and shoved. His
eyes light up.
3.

SZPILMAN
Hello.

DOROTA
I came specially to meet you today.
I love your playing, but what a
day to choose.

SZPILMAN
Who are you?

DOROTA
My name's Dorota, I'm Jurek's
sister. oh! You're bleeding.

SZPILMAN
It's nothing.

JUREK pushes in beside them and takes her arm.

JUREK
C'mon, Dorota, you can write him a
fan letter later, this isn't the
best time, c'mon.

Jurek, pulling Dorota, fights his way down the stairs.

SZPILMAN
(calling)
Jurek, why have you been hiding
her?

And he, too, is carried with the flow into the lobby. Debris
everywhere. Szpilman fights to get to the main door, when
another bomb explodes, filling the air with dust and debris,
obscuring him and everyone else.

INT. WARSAW APARTMENT - DUSK

The Szpilman family in panic: coming and going out of rooms,
packing clothes and belongings into open suitcases and a
trunk in a comfortable, tastefully furnished bourgeois
apartment, the living room lined with books, paintings and
boasting a boudoir grand, silver platters and candlesticks.
The family consist of MOTHER, in a state of great anxiety,
FATHER, REGINA, twenty-six, HALINA, twenty-two, and HENRYK,
twenty-four, the only one not in movement. He sits by the
radio set, ear to the speaker, trying to tune to a station.
No bombs now, just the distant sound of artillery fire.
Father, holding a silver-framed photograph, crosses to
Mother.

FATHER
What you think, should I take Uncle
Szymon's photograph?

MOTHER
Take it, don't take it, take what
you like. Can't you see I'm worried
sick?
4.

FATHER
He'll come home, he'll be all right.

He goes into his room. She can barely control her tears
and hurries into the kitchen just as the front door opens
and Szpilman enters, looks round bemused by the activity.

REGINA
Mama, Wladek's home.

Mother dashes out of the kitchen.

MOTHER
Thank God - Wladek! You're wounded.

SZPILMAN
It's a little cut, nothing.

MOTHER
I've been worried sick.

HENRYK
I told her not to worry. You had
your papers on you. If you'd been
hit by a bomb, they'd have known
where to take you.

The girls suppress smiles.

MOTHER
Henryk, don't say things like that,
God forbid, God forbid.

HALINA
(calling through a
door)
Papa, Wladek's home.

Father appears in the doorway, beaming, clutching a violin
case.

FATHER
What did I tell you?

SZPILMAN
(looking around the
room, bemused)
What are you doing?

REGINA
What's it look like we're doing?

The toing and froing continues non-stop.

SZPILMAN
(to Henryk)
They bombed us, we're off the air.

HENRYK
Warsaw's not the only radio station.




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MOTHER
Pack, darling, get your things,
pack.

SZPILMAN
Where are we going?

MOTHER
Out of Warsaw.

SZPILMAN
Out of Warsaw. Where?

REGINA
You haven't heard?

SZPILMAN
Heard what?

REGINA
Haven't you seen the paper? Where's
the paper?

She starts to look. The others continue to bustle and pack.

HALINA
I used it for packing.

REGINA
(exasperated)
She used it for packing.

FATHER
The government's moved to Lublin.

HALINA
All able-bodied men must leave the
city, go across the river and set
up a new line of defence, that's
what it said.

FATHER
There's hardly anybody left in
this building, only women, the men
have gone.

SZPILMAN
And what do you think you'll do
while you're setting up a new line
of defence? Wander round lugging
your suitcases?

MOTHER
Pack, Wladek, there's no time.

SZPILMAN
I'm not going anywhere.

HALINA
Good! I'm not going anywhere either!




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MOTHER
Don't be ridiculous, we've got to
keep together.

SZPILMAN
No, no, no, I'm staying put. If
I'm going to die, I prefer to die
at home.

MOTHER
God forbid!

HENRYK
Sssh!

Crackles, whistles and static from the radio.

HENRYK
Ssh! I've got something, listen...

They gather round.

RADIO ANNOUNCER
... an important announcement.
News has just been received through
the BBC that Great Britain, having
had no reply...
(static)
...and therefore has declared war
on Nazi Germany...
(a collective gasp)
... next few hours... awaiting
latest news...

Henryk hits the set.

RADIO ANNOUNCER
... but France is expected to make
a similar announcement...
(static)
... Poland is no longer alone.

The Polish national anthem plays. All are still.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","War"]

Summary As bombs explode andWarsaw is shattered by the outbreak of World War II, pianist Wladyslaw Szpilman refuses to leave the city and meets Dorota, a young woman who admires his playing. Szpilman's family anxiously packs their belongings, preparing to leave the city as Poland faces the threat of war. Despite the danger, Szpilman remains determined to stay in Warsaw.
Strengths
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Strong character development
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Slightly predictable plot points

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively sets the tone for the rest of the screenplay, establishing the historical context, introducing key characters, and creating a sense of urgency and tension.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of survival, family bonds, and personal choices in the midst of war is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging and moves the story forward by showing the characters' reactions to the escalating conflict and their decisions to stay or leave Warsaw.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the war genre by focusing on the personal and emotional impact of the conflict on a family. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their personalities, relationships, and internal conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

Some characters show initial resistance to change but may undergo development as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect his family and stay with them during the chaos of the war. This reflects his desire for safety and security amidst the uncertainty and danger.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the bombing and escape the city to a safer place. This reflects the immediate challenge of the war and the need to protect his family.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high as the characters are faced with life-threatening situations and must make difficult decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing external threats from the bombings and internal conflicts within his family.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the threat of war, danger, and uncertainty about their future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, character dynamics, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden bombings, unexpected actions of the characters, and the uncertainty of the family's fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's desire to stay with his family and face the danger head-on, and his family's desire to flee to safety. This challenges his beliefs about sacrifice and protection.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, love, confusion, and relief in the characters and the audience, creating an emotional connection.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is realistic and conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and relationships effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional interactions between characters, and the sense of urgency created by the bombing and chaos.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a war drama, with a clear setup of the conflict, development of tension, and resolution of the immediate danger.


Critique
  • The scene effectively sets the tone of chaos and urgency with the bombing and the subsequent panic in the radio station and at home.
  • The introduction of Dorota adds a personal touch to the scene and hints at a potential romantic subplot.
  • The dialogue between the family members feels natural and conveys their different reactions to the news of leaving Warsaw.
  • There is a good balance between action, dialogue, and setting descriptions, creating a vivid picture of the scene.
  • The use of the radio announcement about the declaration of war adds historical context and heightens the tension in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman to deepen his character development.
  • Explore the relationship dynamics between Szpilman and his family members further to create more depth and conflict.
  • Introduce subtle foreshadowing elements to hint at the challenges Szpilman will face later in the story.
  • Enhance the sensory details to immerse the audience in the chaotic and tense atmosphere of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or actions to enhance the dramatic impact of the bombing and the family's reactions.



Scene 2 -  The Szpilman Family in Uncertain Times
INT. WARSAW APARTMENT - NIGHT

Father pours liqueur into glasses.

The family are seated around the dining table, having just
finished a meal. The table groans with the remains of the
dinner. Szpilman has a plaster over his cut.

HENRYK
(lighting up a
cigarette)
Mama, that was a great dinner.

SZPILMAN
It certainly was.




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7.

MOTHER
When there's something to celebrate,
you've got to make an effort.

The glasses are handed round.

FATHER
Here's to Great Britain and France.

They all clink glasses and drink.

FATHER
I told you. Didn't I tell you? All
will be well.

EXT. RUINED WARSAW STREET - DAY

A column of German Soldiers, led by an officer on horseback,
march into view.

On the sidewalk of the street, with its buildings in ruins,
smoke still rising, stand onlookers, including Szpilman
and Henryk, and a little behind them, Father, craning to
see. They watch, expressionless, as the Germans march past.

INT. WARSAW APARTMENT - DAY

Regina is opening and closing the window, examining the
frame with her fingers. Halina is on a box, removing and
replacing books. Mother sits at one end of the table,
polishing a man's watch and chain. At the other end, Father
sits counting a small stack of notes and coins. Henryk is
deep in thought and Szpilman is fiddling with his father's
violin. The apartment has less furniture now and the silver
has gone.

FATHER
(finishing the
counting)
Five thousand and three.

MOTHER
Is that all?

FATHER
Yes, five thousand and three zlotys,
that's all we've got left.

REGINA
It's three thousand and three zlotys
too much,
(reading from
newspaper)
'Re: Further restrictions regarding
liquid assets: Jews will be allowed
to keep a maximum of two thousand
zlotys in their homes.'

MOTHER
What are we supposed to do with
the rest?



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HALINA
Deposit it in a bank. Blocked
account.

HENRYK
Banks? Who'd be stupid enough to
deposit money in a German bank?

REGINA
We could hide the money here in
the window frame.

FATHER
No, no, no. I'll tell you what
we'll do. We'll use tried and tested
methods. You know what we did in
the last war? We made a hole in
the table leg and we hid the money
in there.

HENRYK
And suppose they take the table
away?

MOTHER
What d'you mean, take the table
away?

HENRYK
The Germans go into Jewish homes
and they just take what they want,
furniture, valuables, anything.

MOTHER
Do they?

FATHER
Idiot! What would they want with a
table?

All look at the table: it's covered in stains and the veneer
is coming away at one end. A table like this?

He pokes his finger under the veneer. It snaps, revealing
bare wood beneath.

MOTHER
What on earth are you doing?

HALINA
There's a good place under the
cupboard.

HENRYK
No, no. Listen, I've been thinking --

SZPILMAN
That makes a change.




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9.

HENRYK
You know what we do? We use
psychology.

SZPILMAN
We use what?

HENRYK
We leave the money and the watch
on the table. And we cover it like
this.
(covers it with the
newspaper)
In full view. The Germans will
search high and low, I promise
you, they'll never notice it.

SZPILMAN
Of course they'll notice it. But
look--
(lifts the violin
fingerboard.)
This is a good place for something.

HENRYK
A good place for what?
(to the others')
He's insane!

SZPILMAN
Just shut up.

FATHER
(overlapping)
My violin?

They all talk at once.

REGINA
Quiet! Quiet! Order, please, order!

HALINA
She's a lawyer, she likes order.

REGINA
Listen, just listen. Let's come to
an agreement. We jam the money in
the window frame. The watch we
hide under the cupboard. And the
chain we put in the violin.

A brief silence.

FATHER
Will I still be able to play?

SZPILMAN
Let's find out.

They start to hide the things.




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10.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Amidst dinner and toasts, the Szpilman family grapples with the arrival of German soldiers and the threat to their valuables. They debate hiding places, driven by anxiety and determination. However, the outcome of their efforts remains uncertain.
Strengths
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of visual action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets the tone for the family's struggles during wartime, introduces conflict and tension, and provides insight into the characters' personalities and dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of hiding valuables in creative ways due to the war is well-executed and adds depth to the story. It showcases the family's resourcefulness and the challenges they face.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as the family makes decisions about hiding their valuables, setting up potential conflicts and challenges for the future. It adds layers to the story and builds tension.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a fresh approach to the familiar theme of survival during wartime, with the characters' creative methods of hiding their valuables adding a unique twist to the narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene effectively develops the characters through their dialogue and actions, revealing their personalities, relationships, and concerns. Each character has a distinct voice and contributes to the scene's dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

The scene hints at potential character growth and changes, especially in how the family members adapt to the war and its impact on their lives. It sets the stage for future development.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to protect his family and their valuables from the German soldiers, reflecting his desire to ensure their safety and security in a dangerous environment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to hide their money and valuables from the Germans in a way that will not be easily discovered, reflecting the immediate challenge of survival and protection in a war-torn environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene introduces internal and external conflicts, such as the family's decision-making process, the threat of the war, and the uncertainty of the future. It creates tension and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external threats from the German soldiers and internal conflicts over how to protect their valuables.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the war, the family's safety, and the need to protect their valuables create a sense of urgency and importance in the scene. The characters' decisions have significant consequences.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, conflicts, and decisions for the characters. It sets up future events and builds anticipation for what's to come.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' differing approaches to hiding their valuables, as well as the unexpected twists in their strategies and interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing approaches to hiding their valuables, with some advocating for bold strategies while others prefer more cautious methods. This conflict challenges their beliefs about risk-taking and trust in the face of danger.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including hope, anxiety, and concern, as the characters navigate the challenges of wartime. It engages the audience and creates a sense of empathy.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, realistic, and reveals the characters' emotions, thoughts, and conflicts. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the audience's understanding of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes and suspenseful interactions between the characters, as well as the creative solutions they come up with to protect their valuables.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense gradually, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup of the characters' goals and challenges, as well as a resolution that advances the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension given the context of the war and the family's situation. The dialogue feels somewhat casual and lacks the gravity of the impending danger.
  • The transition from the family celebrating with liqueur to the German soldiers marching into Warsaw is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between the family members about hiding their money and valuables feels a bit disjointed and lacks a cohesive narrative thread. It jumps from one idea to another without a clear progression.
  • The humor injected into the dialogue, such as Henryk's comment about the table, feels out of place considering the serious circumstances the family is facing.
  • The scene could benefit from more emotional depth and character development to make the audience more invested in the family's plight.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more tension and urgency to the scene to reflect the wartime setting and the family's precarious situation.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the family celebration and the arrival of the German soldiers to maintain the scene's momentum.
  • Streamline the dialogue about hiding money and valuables to create a more focused and coherent conversation that drives the narrative forward.
  • Reconsider the humor in the dialogue to ensure it aligns with the serious tone of the scene and the gravity of the war.
  • Explore opportunities to deepen the emotional impact of the scene by delving into the characters' fears, hopes, and relationships amidst the chaos of war.



Scene 3 -  The Pianist's Struggle
INT. WARSAW PHARMACY - DAY

Szpilman is on the public telephone, waiting for someone
to answer his call. Then:

SZPILMAN
Jurek? Wladek Szpilman.

JUREK
(filtered)
Wladek! How are you?

SZPILMAN
Fine, we're fine, thank you, and
you?

JUREK
(filtered)
Fine, we're fine in the
circumstances. But I can guess
what you've called about. There's
nothing we can do; they won't reopen
the station--

SZPILMAN
(trying to interrupt)
Yes, I know, but Jurek, Jurek...

JUREK
(filtered)
...not even music, nothing, no
radios for the Poles. But I'm sure
you'll find work, Wladek, a pianist
like you.

SZPILMAN
Maybe, maybe not, but, Jurek, don't
be offended, I didn't call to
discuss my future career.

EXT. WARSAW STREET AND CAFE PARADISO - DAY

Szpilman and Dorota stroll along a tree-lined street with
bombed-out buildings and rubble. She flicks admiring, almost
loving glances at him as they walk and talk. And he is
smiling, touched by her.

DOROTA
I nagged Jurek for weeks and weeks.
And at last he gave in and said,
'All right, come with me tomorrow,'
and so I came and they bombed the
station.

SZPILMAN
You know something? Meeting you
like that was absolutely wonderful.

DOROTA
Really?




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11.

SZPILMAN
Yes!
(he looks at her,
smiles)
It was...it was unforgettable.

She's embarrassed.

DOROTA
I've always loved your playing,
Mr. Szpilman.

SZPILMAN
Wladek, please.

DOROTA
No one plays Chopin like you.

She begins to laugh.

SZPILMAN
I could accompany you, me on the
piano, you on the cello.

They become almost helpless, holding on to each other.

DOROTA
Oh, Mr Szpilman, you're quite...
quite wonderful.

SZPILMAN
Wladek, please.

Amidst their laughter, he takes her hand and kisses it.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In war-torn Warsaw, Szpilman struggles to find work as a musician. He confides in his friend Jurek, who informs him of the bleak prospects for Poles in the industry. Despite this setback, Szpilman forms a bond with Dorota, a cellist, over their shared love of music. They find solace and hope in each other's company amidst the devastating conflict.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Romantic tension
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces a romantic subplot, provides a moment of respite from the intense war setting, and adds depth to Szpilman's character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of finding love and connection in the midst of war is compelling and adds a layer of humanity to the story.

Plot: 7

While the scene doesn't directly advance the main plot, it adds emotional depth and complexity to Szpilman's character.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the impact of war on personal relationships and the power of music to transcend hardship. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene allows for character development, especially for Szpilman and Dorota, showcasing their vulnerabilities and desires.

Character Changes: 6

Both Szpilman and Dorota show vulnerability and openness, hinting at potential growth and change in their characters.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to connect with Dorota on a personal level and find solace in their shared love for music amidst the chaos of war.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to find work as a pianist despite the challenges of the war and restrictions on music.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The conflict in this scene is minimal, focusing more on the budding romance between Szpilman and Dorota.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle, with the characters facing external challenges but finding solace in their shared love for music.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes in this scene are relatively low, focusing more on the personal connection between Szpilman and Dorota.

Story Forward: 5

While the scene doesn't directly move the main plot forward, it adds depth and complexity to the characters and their relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional resonance and the unexpected connection between Szpilman and Dorota amidst the chaos of war.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around finding beauty and connection in the midst of destruction and chaos. Szpilman and Dorota's love for music and their shared moment of laughter challenge the bleakness of their surroundings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from joy and affection to a sense of hope amidst the war-torn setting.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, revealing the characters' personalities and building the romantic tension between Szpilman and Dorota.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters' interactions and the sense of connection and hope amidst the devastation of war.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene enhances its emotional impact and allows for a gradual build-up of tension and connection between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear focus on character interactions and emotional development.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, as the phone call with Jurek feels disconnected from the interaction between Szpilman and Dorota.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Jurek could be more concise and focused, with less interruption and more clarity in their communication.
  • The transition from the phone call to the stroll with Dorota feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother segue to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • While the interaction between Szpilman and Dorota is charming, the dialogue feels somewhat cliched and lacks depth or complexity.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the characters' emotions and motivations, particularly in Szpilman's admiration for Dorota and her admiration for his music.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to better integrate the phone call with Jurek into the interaction with Dorota, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Focus on developing more nuanced and authentic dialogue between Szpilman and Dorota, exploring their connection in a more meaningful way.
  • Add layers to the characters' interactions by delving into their inner thoughts and feelings, providing a deeper insight into their relationship and individual personalities.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the scene by incorporating moments of vulnerability, conflict, or tension between Szpilman and Dorota to create a more engaging and dynamic interaction.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints of foreshadowing or underlying tension to add depth and complexity to the scene, setting the stage for future developments in the story.



Scene 4 -  Warsaw Ghetto Decree
INT. WARSAW APARTMENT - NIGHT

The family are gathered around the table, listening to
Father reading from the newspaper.

The apartment has even less furniture now. The paintings
are gone.

FATHER
(reading)
'Re: emblems for Jews in the Warsaw
District. I hereby order that all
Jews in the Warsaw District will
wear visible emblems when out of
doors. This decree will come into
force on the 1st December 1939 and
applies to all Jews over twelve
years of age. The emblem will
be worn on the right sleeve and
will represent a blue Star of David
on a white background. The
background must be sufficiently
large for the Star to measure eight
centimetres from point to point.
The width of the arms of the Star
(MORE)



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12.

FATHER (CONT'D)
(reading)
must be one centimetre. Jews who
do not respect this decree will be
severely punished. Governor of
Warsaw District, Dr. Fischer.'

Silence. Then:

HENRYK
I won't wear it.

REGINA
won't wear it. I'm not going to be
branded.

SZPILMAN
(grabbing the
newspaper)
Let me see this.

FATHER
Doesn't it say we have to provide
these armbands ourselves? Where
will we get them?

HENRYK
We're not going to get them. We're
not going to wear them!

Silence, each locked in their own thoughts.

EXT. WARSAW STREET - DAY

Father, wearing the Star of David armband, walks slowly
along, carrying a string bag containing potatoes and
carrots, his eyes fixed on the pavement as if his thoughts
are a million miles away.

He passes two GERMAN OFFICERS. They stop.

GERMAN OFFICER
(a harsh shout)
You!

Father stops, turns fearfully and approaches the Germans.

GERMAN OFFICER
Why didn't you bow?

FATHER
(removing his hat)
I'm sorry I...

I German Officer cracks him hard across the face, catching
his ear. Father reels, collects himself as best he can and
starts to shuffle on -




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GERMAN OFFICER
(calling after him)
You are forbidden to walk on the
pavement. Walk in the gutter!

Father steps off the pavement and walks in the gutter. The
German turn and go. Father walks on.

INT. WARSAW APARTMENT - EVENING

Szpilman composing at the piano. He plays, makes adjustments
with a pencil to the manuscript, plays again. The flat is
almost bare. Halina, enters with a newspaper.

HALINA
Have you seen this?

SZPILMAN
(irritated)
What, I'm working, what?

She hands him the paper. He looks at it. His expression
darkens.

INSERT:

the newspaper. A map of the proposed Jewish area: two
distinct districts, one large, one smaller.

SZPILMAN'S VOICE
What is it?

HALINA'S VOICE
That's where they're going to put
us.

SZPILMAN'S VOICE
What d'you mean, put us?

THE APARTMENT:

She looks over his shoulder and reads. As she does so, the
door of Henryk's room opens and he stands leaning in the
doorway, watching, as if amused.

HALINA
'By order of the Governor of the
Warsaw District, Dr. Fischer,
concerning the establishment of
the Jewish District in Warsaw.
There will be created a Jewish
District in which all Jews living
in Warsaw or moving to Warsaw will
have to reside." And look here:
'Jews living outside of the
prescribed area will have to move
to the Jewish district by 31st of
October 1940.'

Szpilman gazes at the map, horrified.




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SZPILMAN
But...they won't get all of us...
we'll...it's too small...there's
four hundred thousand of us in
Warsaw!

HENRYK
No. Three hundred and sixty
thousand, so it'll be easy.

He laughs but they're disturbed by a sound from another
room, the sound of crying. They look at each other puzzled,
then Halina opens a door and looks in. Szpilman and Henryk
join her.

BEDROOM:

Father is asleep but Mother is sitting on the bed, holding
a purse, crying. Halina sits beside her, puts an arm round
her.

HALINA
Mama, what is it?

Mother opens the purse to reveal a crumpled note.

MOTHER
Twenty zlotys. That's all we've
got left. What can I buy with twenty
zlotys?
(breaking down)
I'm sick of cooking potatoes,
potatoes, potatoes.

She weeps. Halina tries to comfort her. Szpilman and Henryk
watch.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary The Star of David armband decree is announced, causing distress within a Jewish family. The father is beaten for not bowing to German officers, while the family vows to resist wearing the armbands. A map of the proposed Jewish ghetto is revealed, adding to their anguish. Amidst financial struggles and emotional turmoil, the family faces an uncertain future.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-building
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful, emotionally charged, and effectively conveys the escalating tension and despair faced by the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of oppression, fear, and resistance in the face of adversity is well-developed and drives the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the introduction of new oppressive measures and the family's reaction to them, setting the stage for further conflict and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the Holocaust narrative, focusing on the personal struggles and resistance of a Jewish family.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their emotional struggles are palpable, especially the mother's breakdown over their dwindling resources.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and face the harsh realities of their situation, leading to internal changes and growth.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to resist the dehumanizing treatment and maintain their dignity and identity in the face of persecution.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the dangerous and oppressive environment while protecting their family and themselves.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters' desire to resist oppression and the harsh reality of their situation creates a palpable tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing oppressive Nazi decrees and physical violence, creating a sense of danger and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face increasing oppression, limited resources, and the looming threat of relocation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and deepening the emotional stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected challenges and conflicts faced by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the family's resistance to the Nazi decree, which challenges their beliefs in freedom, dignity, and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, sadness, and anger, particularly through the mother's breakdown and the family's collective despair.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the oppressive nature of the situation, but could benefit from more nuanced exchanges.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, compelling dialogue, and the high stakes faced by the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, enhancing the impact of the characters' struggles and conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the clarity and impact of the storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-paced and structured format that effectively conveys the tension and emotional depth of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the tension and fear faced by the family as they discuss the new decree requiring Jews to wear visible emblems. The emotional turmoil within the family is palpable, especially with Henryk's defiance and Regina's refusal to be branded.
  • The transition from Father being stopped by German Officers on the street to Szpilman composing at the piano is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The emotional impact of the news about the proposed Jewish area and the family's reaction is well portrayed, particularly with Mother's breakdown over their financial situation. The scene effectively captures the sense of despair and uncertainty faced by the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the street scene with Father and Szpilman composing at the piano to enhance the continuity of the scene.
  • Explore ways to visually depict the emotional turmoil within the family more explicitly, perhaps through close-up shots or subtle gestures to convey their inner struggles.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues to enhance the impact of Mother's breakdown over their financial situation, such as focusing on the crumpled note in her purse or her weary expression.



Scene 5 -  The Fate of the Piano
INT. SZPILMAN APARTMENT, SLISKA STREET - NIGHT

Hands on the piano keyboard. Podgy, hairy hands with dirty
nails. They play an octave, harsh, toneless, with straight
fingers.

The hands belong to Mr Lipa, a dealer, early fifties. He
sits at the piano, now examining the lacquer. Regina stands
in the bow, watching him. Henryk is at the table, also
watching intently.

Szpilman sits apart, aloof, his back to the piano and to
Mr Lipa.

MR LIPA
That's the price. That's what I'm
offering. And my advice is to
accept. You won't get more from
anyone else.

REGINA
But...but it's a Steinway, Mr
Lipa...




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MR LIPA
Two thousand. My advice is to take
it. What you going to do when you're
hungry? Eat the piano?

Henryk suddenly makes a lunge for him, grabs hold of him,
a rough struggle takes place and during it Mother and Father
appear at their bedroom door to watch, appalled.

HENRYK
Get out! You're a thieving bastard,
we don't want your money, get out!
We'd rather give it away! Get out!

Regina tries physically to restrain him.

MR LIPA
(overlapping, warding
off Henryk)
Hey! Hey! What's the matter with
you? Haven't you eaten today, what
you suffering from? Hey!

REGINA
(overlapping)
Henryk, stop it, leave him alone.

MR LIPA
(recovering, catching
his breath,
overlapping)
You people are crazy! I'm doing
you a favour, two thousand, and
I'm paying for the removal, I'm
not even charging for the removal.

Henryk subsides, glowering at him.

MR LIPA
You haven't eaten today, you're
crazy...

Suddenly:

SZPILMAN
(turning to them,
severe)
Take it.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary During the turmoil of war, the Lipa family offers to purchase the Szpilman family's prized Steinway piano for a meager price. This proposal ignites a fiery confrontation between Mr. Lipa and Henryk, who vehemently refuses to part with the cherished instrument. Despite Henryk's resistance, Szpilman, sensing the desperation of their situation, reluctantly instructs the family to accept the offer, recognizing the inevitable nature of their loss.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Character development could be deeper

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and emotional conflict faced by the characters, drawing the audience in with its tense and emotional tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of sacrificing a beloved possession for survival in wartime is a powerful and relatable theme that adds depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the family grapples with the decision to sell the piano, showcasing the internal and external conflicts they face.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on survival and sacrifice during wartime, with authentic character actions and dialogue that resonate with the audience.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' emotions and motivations are well-developed, particularly Henryk's defiance and Szpilman's aloofness, adding complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is some character development, particularly in Henryk's defiance and Szpilman's aloofness, more exploration of their internal growth could enhance the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to maintain his dignity and integrity in the face of adversity. This reflects his deeper need for self-respect and identity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to protect the piano and his family's possessions from being sold at a low price. This reflects the immediate challenge of survival and maintaining a sense of normalcy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the family members, as well as their internal struggles, creates a high level of tension and emotional intensity in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and motivations driving the characters' actions and decisions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the family must decide whether to sell their prized possession to survive during the German occupation, adding urgency and tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the family's difficult choices and the impact of the German occupation on their lives.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' conflicting motivations and unexpected actions, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Mr. Lipa's pragmatic view of survival and the family's emotional attachment to the piano as a symbol of culture and identity. This challenges Szpilman's beliefs about the value of art in times of crisis.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of the scene is high, as the audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and dilemmas, evoking empathy and connection.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil within the family, but could be more impactful with deeper exploration of the characters' inner thoughts and feelings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense conflict, emotional stakes, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a rhythmic flow that enhances the emotional impact of the conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and conflict resolution, fitting the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed and abrupt.
  • The tension and conflict in the scene escalate quickly without a proper build-up, leading to a rushed and chaotic confrontation.
  • The dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtlety and nuance to convey the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.
  • The physical struggle between Henryk and Mr. Lipa could be more impactful with better choreography and blocking to enhance the tension and drama of the moment.
  • The emotional beats of the scene, such as Mother's breakdown and Szpilman's decisive action at the end, could be further developed to create a more impactful and resonant moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief establishing shot or transition to set the scene and connect it more smoothly to the previous one.
  • Focus on building the tension gradually throughout the scene to create a more natural and engaging conflict.
  • Refine the dialogue to be more nuanced and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships.
  • Work on the physicality of the struggle between Henryk and Mr. Lipa to make it more dynamic and visually engaging.
  • Explore ways to deepen the emotional impact of Mother's breakdown and Szpilman's decision to sell the piano to enhance the scene's dramatic resonance.



Scene 6 -  Relocation to the Ghetto
EXT. STREET LEADING TO GHETTO - DAY AUTUMN

A great column of Jews of all ages make their way towards
the area that will become the ghetto. On foot, on bicycles,
on horse-drawn platforms, some pushing prams loaded with
belongings. A great moving mass of humanity.

They're watched on either side of the street by Poles.

On a horse-drawn platform, the Szpilmans with their
belongings. All wear armbands.




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Szpilman, Halina and Henryk walk beside the platform with
Mother, Father and Regina seated on it.

Szpilman catches sight of someone among the onlookers,
smiles and pushes through the crowd to Dorota, close to
tears.

SZPILMAN
Dorota!

DOROTA
I didn't want to come, I didn't
want to see all this, but I couldn't
stop myself.

SZPILMAN
How are you doing?

DOROTA
Fine, no, not really, they arrested
my cousin, but Jurek says they'll
let him out.
(stops, tears in
her eyes.)
This is disgraceful.

SZPILMAN
Don't worry, it won't last long.

DOROTA
That's what I said, it's so - it's
too absurd!

SZPILMAN
I'll see you...soon.

He smiles and runs to catch up with his family. He looks
back, but Dorota is lost to sight and the procession
continues on its way.

INT./EXT. GHETTO APARTMENT AND STREET - DAY

Two rooms on the third floor: a living room and a kitchen.
The Szpilmans are unpacking their belongings in silence.
Father pauses for a moment to take stock.

FATHER
To tell you the truth, I thought
it would be worse.

SZPILMAN
How will we sleep?

MOTHER
I'll sleep with the girls in the
kitchen. You, Henrykc and Papa in
here.

HALINA
(at a window)
Look! Come and look!



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They all go to the window and look out.

Their POV - the street.

Further along, men are building a wall across the street.

EXT. GHETTO WALL - DAY

A SERIES OF SHOTS:

THE WALL. THE WALL. THE WALL.

EXT. MARKET AREA, GHETTO - DAY

Winter. Cold, freezing day. Slush underfoot. Great activity.
People selling shoes, clothes, carpets, curtains, food. A
woman offers cakes under a barbed-wire cover. Noise, bustle,
restless wing and froing.

Among the traders, Henryk, slightly shabbier now, and at
his feet a basket with books. He holds a couple of volumes
in his hands, trying to interest passers-by.

Szpilman, also a little shabbier, wends his way through
the setters and buyers, the beggars, the passers-by, and
reaches Henryk.

Henryk drops the two volumes into the basket, takes a handle
one side of the basket, Szpilman the other. They set off.

As they walk, carrying the basket between them, passing
beggars and children asking for food:

SZPILMAN
You sell anything?

HENRYK
Just one. Dostoevsky. The Idiot.
Three zlotys.

SZPILMAN
That's better than yesterday.

HENRYK
Three lousy zlotys. And there are
people here making millions.

SZPILMAN
I know.

HENRYK
You don't know, believe me. They
bribe the guards. The guards turn
a blind eye. They're bringing in
cartloads, food, tobacco, liquor,
French cosmetics, and the poor are
dying all around them and they
don't give a damn.

Suddenly, a WOMAN appears in front of them, barring their
way. She's brightly rouged with thickly painted eyebrows,



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dressed in an old green velvet curtain with an unsteady
mauve ostrich feather rising from her straw hat.

THE FEATHER WOMAN
Excuse me, but have you by any
chance seen my husband Izaak
Szerman?

SZPILMAN
I'm afraid not.

THE FEATHER WOMAN
A tall handsome man with a little
grey beard?

They shake their heads.

THE FEATHER WOMAN
No?
(she is near to
tears, then smiles
artificially.)
Oh, do forgive me.
(as she goes)
Goodbye, sleep well, if you see
him, please do write, Izaak
Szerman's his name...

She wanders on. Szpilman and Henryk, too, continue on their
way. And as they go:

HENRYK
Sometimes I wish I could go mad.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary The Szpilman family is forced to relocate to the ghetto. Szpilman tries to reassure his family, and they unpack their belongings in their new apartment. In the ghetto market, Szpilman and Henryk discuss the corruption and profiteering that is taking place.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of characters
  • Impactful theme
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the bleak and oppressive atmosphere of the ghetto, highlighting the struggles and emotions of the characters as they navigate through difficult circumstances.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the forced relocation to the ghetto and the challenges faced by the characters, is well-executed and impactful.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around the Szpilman family's journey to the ghetto, showcasing the harsh realities of the time period and setting the stage for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the Holocaust narrative by focusing on the daily struggles and interactions of the characters within the ghetto. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions and struggles are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes as they adapt to their new circumstances in the ghetto, showcasing their resilience and determination.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain hope and resilience in the face of adversity. Szpilman's interactions with Dorota and his family show his desire to stay strong and positive despite the challenging circumstances.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and adapt to the new reality of living in the ghetto. Szpilman's conversations with Henryk about selling books and the struggles of the poor reflect this goal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with their new reality and the challenges they face in the ghetto.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external challenges and internal conflicts that test their resilience and determination. The uncertainty of their circumstances adds to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters are forced to confront the harsh realities of the ghetto and navigate through difficult circumstances.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the setting of the ghetto and the challenges faced by the characters, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions and emotional revelations that occur between the characters. The shifting dynamics and conflicts add a layer of unpredictability to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the injustice and cruelty of the situation and the characters' attempts to find moments of humanity and connection amidst the chaos. Szpilman's conversation with Dorota and Henryk highlights this conflict.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, portraying the hardships and struggles of the characters in a poignant manner.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is realistic and reflective of the characters' emotions and circumstances, enhancing the overall atmosphere.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the characters' emotional journey and the harsh realities of their situation. The interactions between the characters and the unfolding events keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, allowing for moments of reflection and connection between the characters. The rhythm of the scene enhances its impact and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is consistent with the expected format for a war drama screenplay. The scene descriptions and dialogue are clear and concise.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined beats and transitions between different locations. It effectively conveys the passage of time and the characters' evolving circumstances.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension given the gravity of the situation. The characters seem relatively calm and detached despite being forced to relocate to the ghetto.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Dorota feels somewhat superficial and lacks depth. Their interaction could be more emotionally charged and impactful given the circumstances.
  • The transition between the street leading to the ghetto and the apartment unpacking scene feels abrupt and disjointed. There could be a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and evocative to immerse the audience in the setting and atmosphere of the scene.
  • The Feather Woman's brief appearance feels out of place and disconnected from the main narrative, detracting from the focus on the Szpilman family's experience.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more conflict and emotional intensity in the interactions between characters to heighten the drama and engage the audience.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless transition between different locations and story beats.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a clearer picture of the surroundings and evoke a stronger sense of place.
  • Focus on the core narrative of the Szpilman family's experience in the ghetto to maintain a cohesive and compelling storyline.
  • Streamline the dialogue to ensure it serves the character development and plot progression effectively.



Scene 7 -  Forced Waltz on Chlodna Street
EXT. CHLODNA STREET - DAY

A stream of cars and trams. Jewish policemen and German
soldiers much in evidence.

Szpilman and Henryk join a large crowd of Jews waiting at
a barrier to cross the intersection. The crowd is agitated,
impatient for a policeman to stop the traffic and let them
through.

A MAN next to Szpilman and Henryk is becoming more and
more distraught, shifting his weight from foot to foot,
taking off and putting on his hat.

THE NERVOUS MAN
This is totally insane; why do we
have to have a gentile street
running through our area? Can't
they go around?

HENRYK
Don't worry about it, they're about
to build a bridge, haven't you
heard?




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THE NERVOUS MAN
A bridge, a schmidge, and the
Germans claim to be intelligent.
You know what I think? I think
they're totally stupid. I've got a
family to feed and I spend half my
time here waiting for them to let
us through.

Meanwhile, a street band begins to play a waltz. Jewish
policemen and German soldiers are clearing a space, shoving
Jews out of the way, including Szpilman, Henryk and the
nervous man. Other soldiers are clearing a space.

Two GERMAN SOLDIERS pull out of the crowd a tall woman and
a short man and haul them into the cleared space.

THE GERMAN SOLDIER
Dance!

The couple dance to the street band's waltz.

At intervals, German soldiers select even more unlikely
couples: a fat woman with a painfully thin man, a young
boy with an elderly woman, two men, and two cripples.

The German soldiers are, to various degrees, amused. One
of them is almost hysterical with laughter.

SOLDIERS
Faster! Go on, faster! Dance!

The couples dance as fast as they can. A soldier kicks one
of the cripples who can't go on any more.

SOLDIERS
Dance! Dance!

Then a whistle blows, a policeman stops the traffic, the
barrier swings open and people swarm across in both
directions.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary A large crowd of Jews waits at a barrier on Chlodna Street during the day. A nervous man expresses frustration over the situation as a street band starts playing a waltz. German soldiers force unlikely couples to dance in the street. The scene ends with the barrier opening and people crossing in both directions.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and desperation
  • Resonant theme of resilience and defiance
  • Strong emotional impact on the audience
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the fear and resilience of the characters in a tense and desperate situation, setting a strong tone for the overall story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the daily struggles and defiance of the characters under German occupation is well executed, adding depth to the historical context of the story.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as the characters navigate the challenges of living in the ghetto and facing oppression, adding layers to the overall narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the dehumanizing effects of war, with the forced dancing adding a unique and chilling element to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show resilience and defiance in the face of adversity, with each one contributing to the emotional depth of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show resilience and defiance, but there is room for further development and growth as they navigate the challenges of living under German occupation.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to navigate the dangerous and oppressive environment while maintaining his sense of self and humanity.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to safely cross the intersection and avoid confrontation with the German soldiers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters and the oppressive forces creates a tense and desperate atmosphere, driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the German soldiers' cruelty and the characters' struggle against oppression creating a compelling conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of survival and resistance against oppressive forces are evident in the scene, driving the tension and desperation of the characters.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the daily struggles and defiance of the characters, adding depth to the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected and chilling nature of the forced dancing, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization and cruelty of the German soldiers towards the Jewish population, contrasting with the resilience and humanity of the Jewish characters.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes fear, resilience, and defiance in the characters, creating a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and desperation of the characters, adding to the overall atmosphere of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, compelling dialogue, and the unexpected element of the forced dancing.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, enhancing the impact of the dramatic events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, effectively conveying the action and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a wartime drama, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction. While there is some tension with the nervous man's agitation, it doesn't lead to any significant development or resolution.
  • The interaction between the nervous man, Szpilman, and Henryk feels disconnected from the overall narrative. It doesn't add depth to the characters or advance the plot in a meaningful way.
  • The dancing couples introduced by the German soldiers seem out of place and somewhat forced. It's unclear how this scene contributes to the larger story or themes of the screenplay.
  • The tone of the scene shifts abruptly from the nervous man's frustration to the forced dancing, creating a disjointed feel. The transitions could be smoother to maintain a consistent tone throughout.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotions and experiences of the characters in this scene. More focus on their internal struggles and reactions to the events around them could add depth and resonance.
Suggestions
  • Consider revisiting the purpose of this scene and how it fits into the overall narrative. Ensure that every scene serves a clear function in advancing the story or developing the characters.
  • Explore ways to make the interactions between the characters more meaningful and impactful. Look for opportunities to reveal more about their personalities, motivations, and relationships.
  • Reevaluate the dancing couples element to ensure it aligns with the tone and themes of the screenplay. If it doesn't contribute significantly, consider removing or revising this aspect.
  • Work on smoother transitions between different elements of the scene to maintain a cohesive flow. Pay attention to pacing and structure to keep the audience engaged.
  • Focus on the emotional depth of the characters and their responses to the challenging circumstances they are facing. This can help create a more engaging and resonant scene.



Scene 8 -  Recruitment in the Ghetto
INT. GHETTO APARTMENT - DAY

Szpilman and Henryk enter and stop. Uneasy.

MOTHER
Good, they're here. Yitzchak
Heller's been waiting for you,
Henryk.

Seated at the table with Mother and Father is a uniformed
young man, YITZCHAK HELLER, unusual appearance, a man with
red hair and a Hitler moustache.

Heller remains seated, just nods at the brothers.

HENRYK
What's this about?




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MOTHER
Sit down, have tea, I'll start
lunch when the girls get back.

Henryk and Szpilman sit. They eye Heller suspiciously.

HENRYK
So, what are you doing here?

FATHER
He brought cakes.

Awkward silence.

FATHER
His father's back in the jewellery
business and doing well, isn't
that so, Yitzchak? Amazing.
Jewellery.

He runs dry. Another awkward silence. Then:

HELLER
We're recruiting.

HENRYK
Who's recruiting?

HELLER
Don't be clever with me, Henryk.
I've come here as a friend. They're
bringing Jews in from all over the
country. Soon there'll be half a
million people in the ghetto. We
need more Jewish police...

HENRYK
(sarcastic)
Oh? More Jewish police? You mean
you want me to wear a cap like
yours, beat up Jews with my
truncheon and catch the Gestapo
spirit. I see!

HELLER
(eyes narrowed,
dangerous)
Someone's got to do it, Henryk.

HENRYK
But why me? I thought you only
recruited boys with rich fathers.
Look at my father, look at us, I
mean...

HELLER
(interrupting,
flaring)
Yes, I'm looking at you and that's
why I'm here. Your whole family
(MORE)



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HELLER (CONT'D)
can have a better life. You want
to go on struggling for survival,
selling books on the street?

HENRYK
(a smile)
Yes, please.

HELLER
(to Szpilman)
I'm doing you people a favour. And
what about you, Wladek? You're a
great pianist. And we've got an
excellent police jazz band. They'd
welcome you with open arms. Join
us. You've got no work...

SZPILMAN
Thank you. But I've got work.

Silence. Heller rises angrily.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As Szpilman and Henryk enter an apartment in the ghetto, they are greeted by Yitzchak Heller. Heller tries to recruit them for the Jewish police force, creating tension and suspicion. Despite Heller's efforts, Henryk remains skeptical and resistant, leaving Heller frustrated as he exits the apartment.
Strengths
  • Tense dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Exploration of moral dilemmas
Weaknesses
  • Awkward silences
  • Some dialogue may come off as forced or unnatural

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the tension and moral dilemma faced by the characters, with strong dialogue and character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of recruitment into the Jewish police force in the ghetto adds depth to the story, showcasing the difficult choices and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as the characters are presented with a challenging decision, adding complexity to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the challenges faced by individuals in a war-torn society, with authentic dialogue and character motivations that feel true to the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' conflicting emotions and motivations are well-developed, creating a compelling dynamic in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters face a moral dilemma that challenges their beliefs and values, leading to potential changes in their actions and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to resist recruitment into the Jewish police force, reflecting his desire to maintain his integrity and not succumb to the pressures of the oppressive regime.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to avoid being recruited into the Jewish police force and maintain his independence and dignity in the face of oppression.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters' personal values and the pressure to join the Jewish police force creates a high level of tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and power dynamics creating a sense of uncertainty and moral complexity.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters must decide whether to join the Jewish police force, potentially compromising their values and risking their safety.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and dilemma for the characters to navigate, adding depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral choices faced by the protagonist, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between survival and integrity. The protagonist must choose between joining the oppressive regime for a better life or maintaining his principles and resisting recruitment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, defiance, and anxiety, drawing the audience into the characters' dilemmas.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is tense, confrontational, and reveals the internal struggles of the characters, driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, moral dilemmas, and tense interactions between characters, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and drama, with well-timed dialogue and character interactions that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and conflicts, effectively building tension and drama.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed and abrupt.
  • The dialogue between the characters feels forced and unnatural, lacking depth and authenticity.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in the interactions between the characters, making it difficult for the audience to connect with them.
  • The tension and conflict between Henryk and Heller could be more effectively portrayed through subtle nuances and subtext rather than direct confrontation.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and actions to enhance the atmosphere and setting.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition or establishing shot to smoothly connect this scene with the previous one.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue to be more nuanced and reflective of the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • Explore the characters' internal struggles and conflicts to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Try to convey the tension between Henryk and Heller through subtle gestures, expressions, and pauses rather than direct verbal confrontation.
  • Enhance the scene by incorporating more visual elements to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.



Scene 9 -  Life in the Ghetto
INT. CAFE NOWACZESNA, GHETTO - DAY

On a platform, Szpilman plays at a piano, but he can hardly
be heard above the noise of chatter and laughter.

The large cafe is crowded, hot and smoke-filled. Well-heeled
customers, pimps, whores, businessmen sit at little tables,
eating, talking, laughing, almost drowning the piano music.
Some dance.

A couple of tables back from the piano, a customer is doing
business with a friend. The customer has a small stack of
coins, some of them twenty-dollar gold pieces. He folds
back the tablecloth to reveal a marble surface beneath. He
drops a coin on the marble and listens but the noise is
too loud. He sees the cafe owner, BENEK, fiftyish, and
makes gestures, pointing at Szpilman. Benek pushes his way
through to Szpilman.

BENEK
(whispering into
Szpilman's ear)
I'm sorry, Mr Wladek, he wants you
to stop.

SZPILMAN
(continuing to play)
Who wants me to stop?

Benek points to the customer, who makes an imploring gesture
to Szpilman. Szpilman stops playing.

The friend watches the customer intently as he drops the
coins one by one onto the marble. He drops them, puts his
ear close and listens. Two or three he discards, but he
smiles when coins make a pure tone, and he keeps them.




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Szpilman exchanges looks with a pretty whore, who makes
eyes at him.

Satisfied, the customer beams, nods his thanks to Szpilman,
who resumes his piano playing.

EXT. GHETTO STREET - DUSK

Szpilman walking. He passes emaciated children and beggars.
He steps over the corpses lying on the sidewalk.

EXT. STREET NEAR WALL - DUSK

The wall runs the length of the street, dividing it in
half and narrowing it. Buildings on one side, the wall on
the other.

Szpilman walks along. A piercing whistle from the Aryan
side. Szpilman stops.

Two women appear from a doorway, approach the wall and
look up. Two or three packages come flying over from the
Aryan side. The women grab them and disappear.

Szpilman walks on and sees a child appear through a hole
at ground level. The child wriggles through then turns,
pulls a package after him and runs.

Szpilman walks on, hears a noise, looks back to see a SECOND
CHILD trying to wriggle through the same hole. But he's
stuck. Angry German voices from the Aryan side.

2ND CHILD
Help me! help me!

Szpilman goes to him, pulls him with all his might but the
boy is jammed in the hole.

From the other side of the wall, the sound of an angry
German voice and of a boot stamping violently on the boy.
The boy screams in agony.

Szpilman continues to try to pull the boy through.

The sound of the German voice swearing and the dull,
crunching noise made by the boot smashing into the boy
continues, and with every thud the boy screams in terrible
pain.

Szpilman struggles to help the boy whose screams are
becoming weaker yet increasingly desperate.

Szpilman pulls his arms and finally manages to get him
through. The boy lies moaning.

Szpilman takes the boy's face in his hands, tries to comfort
him, revive him, but the boy has stopped moaning. His head
lolls and his jaw sags. He is dead. Szpilman stands quickly
and hurries away.




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Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Szpilman plays in a cafe but stops for customer. Later on he sees a child stuck in a hole in the wall and tries to pull him out but the child is killed by a German soldier.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Realism
  • Tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Graphic violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful and emotionally impactful, effectively conveying the horrors of war and the dehumanization of individuals. The tension and tragedy are palpable, leaving a lasting impression on the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of showcasing the brutal conditions in the ghetto and the moral dilemmas faced by the characters is executed effectively. The scene captures the essence of the war and its impact on individuals.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the harsh realities of life in the ghetto, the struggle for survival, and the moral choices faced by the characters. It effectively conveys the themes of tragedy and inhumanity.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its depiction of the harsh realities of war and the moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions and struggles are portrayed convincingly. The audience can empathize with their plight and feel the weight of their decisions.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas, leading to internal changes and growth. The scene showcases their struggles and the impact of their decisions on their psyche.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the dangerous and oppressive environment of the ghetto while maintaining his humanity and compassion.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to survive the harsh conditions of the ghetto and help those in need, as seen in his attempt to save the stuck child from the angry Germans on the other side of the wall.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters navigate the harsh realities of the ghetto and face moral dilemmas. The tension is high, adding to the emotional impact.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing violent and oppressive forces that challenge his moral values and beliefs.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face life-threatening situations, moral dilemmas, and the brutal realities of war. The decisions they make have profound consequences, adding to the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by depicting the harsh realities of life in the ghetto and the moral dilemmas faced by the characters. It sets the stage for further developments and challenges.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden and shocking violence that occurs, as well as the moral ambiguity of the characters' actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between compassion and cruelty, as represented by Szpilman's efforts to save the child from the violent Germans.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, fear, and compassion in the audience. The tragic events and the portrayal of inhumanity leave a lasting impact, eliciting a deep emotional response.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the emotions and tensions effectively. It adds to the overall atmosphere of tragedy and despair.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and emotional content, as well as the moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the urgency of the characters' actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the setting and atmosphere of the ghetto.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the chaotic and dangerous atmosphere of the ghetto during World War II.


Critique
  • The scene in the cafe lacks a clear connection to the preceding scenes, making it feel somewhat disjointed from the overall narrative flow.
  • The tension and emotional weight of the previous scenes, such as the forced relocation to the ghetto and the corruption within, are not effectively carried over into this scene at the cafe.
  • The transition from the cafe setting to Szpilman walking through the ghetto is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the coherence of the story.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and the pretty whore feels out of place and does not add significant depth to the character or the plot.
  • The tragic event with the child stuck in the wall and subsequently killed by a German soldier is powerful and impactful, but the emotional impact is somewhat diluted by the preceding scene in the cafe.
Suggestions
  • Consider integrating the emotional weight and tension from the previous scenes into the cafe scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Explore ways to connect the events in the cafe to the broader themes of survival, loss, and resilience that are central to the screenplay.
  • Enhance the transition between the cafe scene and Szpilman walking through the ghetto to maintain the audience's engagement and emotional investment.
  • Reevaluate the interaction between Szpilman and the pretty whore to ensure it serves a meaningful purpose in the character development or plot progression.
  • Consider restructuring the sequence of events to ensure that the powerful moment with the child's death has the necessary impact and emotional resonance.



Scene 10 -  Glimmer of Hope in the Warsaw Ghetto
EXT. COURTYARD AND HOUSE - EVENING

Szpilman approaches the house through a shabby yard.

INT. JEHUDA ZYSKIND'S ROOM - EVENING

The noise of a mimeograph machine. A huge, CHEERFUL MAN
with a perpetual cigarette in his mouth.

JEHUDA
I always say look on the bright
side. You're in the small ghetto,
intellectuals, professional people,
you're better off than us. Here,
in the large ghetto, it's a
cesspool. But you, you're living
in Monte Carlo. You could say you're
privileged and that, of course,
goes against my principles.
Nevertheless...

He laughs and coughs, starts looking through papers. His
room is piled from floor to ceiling with old papers and
stuff. Dark, shabby, run-down.

One of his sons, SYMCHE, is operating the mimeograph
machine. The other, DOLEK, is sorting the sheets as they
come off the roller. MRS. ZYSKIND, holding a toddler, is
cooking at a small stove.

JEHUDA finds what he's been looking for, a newspaper made
up of a few sheets.

JEHUDA
Ah, here. Today's news from the
other side.

SZPILMAN
You're amazing, Jehuda.

JEHUDA
No, I'm a socialist. I have brothers
everywhere. They bring me news and
food. We care about our fellow
human beings. Workers of the world
unite.

SZPILMAN
So, what's the news?

JEHUDA
(scanning the paper)
The Germans are advancing on
Kharkhov.

SZPILMAN
I don't know why I come here every
evening, it's always such bad news.




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JEHUDA
Bad news, you crazy? You have no
world view, Wladek, that's your
trouble. The news couldn't be
better. The moment Hitler invaded
Russia, I knew we'd be all right.
Remember Napoleon. Same business.
The Germans will freeze to death,
please God.

He beams. Szpilman leans over, takes a sheet from the
mimeograph.

SZPILMAN
Jehuda, give me something to do.

JEHUDA
You're an artist, Wladek, you keep
people's spirits up. You do enough.

SZPILMAN
But I want to help, I want to.

JEHUDA
You're too well known, Wladek. And
you know what? You musicians don't
make good conspirators. You're
too...too musical.

He loves this, laughs, coughs.

SZPILMAN
There are notices going up. The
city's to be cleansed of
undesirables.

JEHUDA
There are always notices going up.

A distinctive knock on the door. Szpilman tenses but Jehuda
beams. To one of his boys: Symche - The boy opens the door
to admit a short, neat man, MAJOREK.

MAJOREK
Hello, Symche, Dolek, Mrs Zyskind,
Jehuda. Working hard?

He stops, seeing Szpilman.

JEHUDA
Majorek, this is the greatest
pianist in Poland, maybe in the
whole world. Wladyslaw Szpilman.
Meet Majorek.

MAJOREK
(shakes Szpilman's
hand)
I know your name. I've never heard
you play.




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JEHUDA
Majorek used to be in the army.
Brilliant man. He's got a mind
like a searchlight. The only thing
I've got against him is he's not a
socialist.
(he looks out of
the window.)
You'd better go now, Wladek. It's
nearly curfew.
(he hands over
pamphlets to
Majorek.)
You see these, Wladek? You know
how many copies we print of our
newspaper?

Szpilman shrugs.

JEHUDA
Five hundred. You know how many
people on average read one copy?
Twenty. That makes ten thousand
readers. These will start the
uprising. Majorek hides them in
his underpants. And leaves them in
toilets.

SZPILMAN
Toilets?

MAJOREK
As many toilets as I can find.
Germans never go into Jewish
toilets. They're too clean for
them.

Jehuda loves this too, but his laugh makes him cough
appallingly.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Szpilman visits Jehuda's home in Warsaw Ghetto, where despite harsh conditions, Jehuda stays optimistic and shares war news. He encourages Szpilman to continue inspiring people with his music, instead of joining the resistance. Meanwhile, Majorek arrives with pamphlets for a planned uprising.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character camaraderie
  • Resilience theme
Weaknesses
  • Lack of intense conflict
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively balances informative dialogue with moments of humor and camaraderie, providing insight into the characters' outlook on the situation. The scene sets a tone of resilience and hope amidst challenging circumstances.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of sharing news, resistance efforts, and maintaining optimism in the face of adversity is well-executed in the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' determination to stay informed and connected.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses by introducing the characters' involvement in resistance activities and their interactions with each other. The scene sets up the importance of information sharing and resistance efforts in the larger narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the wartime experience, blending historical accuracy with character-driven storytelling. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions reflect the challenges they face during the war.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and showcase resilience, camaraderie, and humor in the face of adversity. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their personalities and motivations effectively.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints of character development, particularly in Szpilman's desire to contribute to the resistance efforts. However, the focus is more on showcasing the characters' existing traits.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find a way to contribute and help in the resistance against the Germans, despite feeling helpless and frustrated.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to find a way to actively participate in the resistance efforts and make a difference in the face of the German occupation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is an underlying tension due to the wartime setting, the scene focuses more on camaraderie and information sharing among the characters. The conflict is subtle but present.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external challenges and conflicting perspectives that add depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 6

While the characters face challenges due to the wartime setting, the scene primarily focuses on their resilience and camaraderie. The stakes are present but not overwhelmingly high.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the characters' involvement in resistance activities and setting up the importance of information sharing. It provides context for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected humor and conflicting perspectives of the characters, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between optimism and realism. Jehuda's optimistic outlook clashes with Szpilman's more realistic and pessimistic view of the situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of hope and solidarity through the characters' interactions and dialogue. While there are moments of humor, the emotional impact is primarily driven by the characters' resilience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, informative, and at times humorous, reflecting the characters' personalities and the tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the camaraderie and determination of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the sense of urgency in the resistance efforts, and the historical context of the war.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively setting up the conflict and developing the characters' motivations.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the wartime setting and the gravity of the situation in the ghetto.
  • The dialogue feels a bit expository and lacks depth, missing an emotional connection with the characters and their struggles.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • There is a missed opportunity to explore the emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas faced by the characters in the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved to build suspense and engage the audience more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Add more conflict and tension to the scene to reflect the wartime setting and the characters' struggles.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more emotionally resonant and reflective of the characters' inner turmoil.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the audience.
  • Explore the moral dilemmas faced by the characters in the scene to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Consider adjusting the pacing of the scene to build suspense and keep the audience engaged throughout.



Scene 11 -  Tense Dinner Conversation
INT. GHETTO APARTMENT - EVENING

Summer. The windows are open and the sounds of the ghetto
can be heard in the background. The family sit round the
small table as Mother comes with a saucepan of soup and
starts to serve.

MOTHER
And, please, tonight, for once, I
don't want anything bad talked
about. Let's enjoy our meal.

HENRYK
Okay, then I'll tell you something
funny. You know who I mean by Dr.
Raszeja.

REGINA
The surgeon?




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HENRYK
The surgeon. Well, for some reason,
don't ask me why, the Germans
allowed him into the ghetto to
perform an operation...

HALINA
On a Jew? They allowed a Pole to
come in to operate on a Jew?

HENRYK
He got a pass, that's all I know.
Anyway, he puts the patient to
sleep and starts the operation.
He'd just made the first incision
when the SS burst in, shoot the
patient lying on the table, and
then shoot Dr. Raszeja and everybody
else who was there. Isn't that a
laugh? The patient didn't feel a
thing, he was anaesthetised -

He laughs. No one else does.

MOTHER
Henryk, I said nothing bad.

HENRYK
What's the matter with you all?
Have you lost your sense of humour?

SZPILMAN
It's not funny.

HENRYK
Well, you know what's funny? You're
funny with that ridiculous tie.

SZPILMAN
What are you talking about, my
tie? What's my tie got to do with
anything? I need the tie for my
work.

MOTHER
Boys, boys...

HENRYK
Your work, yes, playing the piano
for all the parasites in the ghetto,
they don't give a damn about
people's sufferings, they don't
even notice what's going on around
them!

FATHER
I blame the Americans.

The others look at him.




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SZPILMAN
For what? For my tie?

FATHER
American Jews, and there's lots of
them, what have they done for us?
What do they think they're doing?
People here are dying, haven't got
a bite to eat. The Jewish bankers
over there should be persuading
America to declare war on Germany!

Suddenly, there's a roar of engines and a screech of brakes.
Slamming of doors.

The family rush to the windows.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary During dinner, the family attempts to avoid negative conversations at the request of Mother. However, Henryk's failed joke and insults lead to an argument with Szpilman. Father expresses resentment towards American Jews, escalating tensions further. The scene concludes abruptly as the family hears noises outside, leaving them on edge.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters' experiences in the ghetto while also providing moments of dark humor to lighten the mood. The tension and conflict within the family dynamic are palpable, making for a compelling and engaging scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a family dinner in the ghetto during wartime is a powerful and poignant setting that highlights the struggles and resilience of the characters. The scene effectively explores themes of survival, humor in the face of adversity, and the impact of war on personal relationships.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around the family dinner and the tensions that arise from differing perspectives and coping mechanisms. While the plot may seem simple on the surface, it effectively conveys the complex emotions and dynamics at play within the family.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its exploration of dark humor, moral dilemmas, and the impact of external forces on individual lives. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and distinct, each with their own unique personalities, motivations, and struggles. The dialogue and interactions between the characters reveal their individual strengths and vulnerabilities, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there may not be significant character changes within the scene itself, the interactions and conflicts between the characters hint at potential growth and development as the story progresses. The scene sets the stage for future character arcs and reveals important aspects of the characters' personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of normalcy and unity within the family despite the challenging circumstances they are facing. This reflects their deeper need for connection and support in the face of adversity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the tensions and conflicts within the family, particularly in response to Henryk's insensitive comments. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining harmony and understanding among family members.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene primarily stems from the differing perspectives and coping mechanisms of the family members, leading to tension and emotional turmoil. The conflict adds depth to the scene and drives the character dynamics forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting perspectives and moral dilemmas creating tension and conflict among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes in the scene are evident in the characters' struggles to survive in the ghetto during wartime, as well as the emotional and psychological toll of living in such dire circumstances. The family's decisions and interactions have significant consequences, adding weight to the scene.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' relationships, struggles, and motivations. The conflicts and tensions within the family dynamic set the stage for future developments and plot twists.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden shift in tone and the unexpected arrival of external forces that disrupt the family dynamics. The conflicting perspectives and moral dilemmas add layers of complexity and uncertainty to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the differing perspectives on humor, responsibility, and the role of external forces in their lives. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of empathy and understanding in the face of tragedy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, fear, and anger, as the characters navigate the challenges of living in the ghetto during wartime. The emotional impact of the scene is heightened by the characters' struggles and the dark humor that permeates the dialogue.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, realistic, and reveals important aspects of the characters' personalities and relationships. The mix of humor, tension, and emotion in the dialogue adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience invested in the characters' stories.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflicts, sharp dialogue, and underlying tension that drives the narrative forward. The characters' interactions and reactions keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and emotional impact to resonate with the audience. The rhythm of the dialogue and action enhances the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive elements that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively balancing dialogue and action to convey the emotional and thematic depth of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a family dinner where Mother explicitly asks for no negative conversations, setting the tone for a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere.
  • Henryk's attempt at humor with a dark joke about a surgeon being killed by the SS falls flat and creates a sense of unease among the family members.
  • The argument between Henryk and Szpilman about Szpilman's tie feels forced and out of place given the gravity of the situation in the ghetto.
  • The conversation escalates into a heated argument about American Jews not doing enough to help European Jews, which seems disconnected from the immediate context of the scene.
  • The sudden interruption of engines and brakes screeching outside adds a jarring element to the scene, disrupting the family dynamics and creating a sense of impending danger.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Henryk's joke to be more in line with the somber tone of the scene, or omit it altogether to maintain the seriousness of the situation.
  • Focus on the family dynamics and the tension within the group without introducing unrelated arguments about American Jews.
  • Explore ways to build suspense and anticipation of the impending danger outside the windows without relying on sudden interruptions for impact.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and interactions between the family members feel authentic and contribute to the overall emotional impact of the scene.
  • Consider adding subtle hints or foreshadowing of the imminent danger outside to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative flow.



Scene 12 -  Gestapo Raid
EXT./INT. BUILDING OPPOSITE AND GHETTO APARTMENT - NIGHT

A Gestapo vehicle has entered the street and screeched to
a halt. Helmeted, jackbooted SS MEN, led by an NCO, pour
out of the vehicle.

The Szpilmans gather at their open window to watch. Regina
turns off the lights before joining them. They are all
terrified. Their half-eaten meal still on the table behind
them.

POV - from Szpilman apartment: the building opposite.

The SS men pouring into the building opposite. Sound of
the jackboots on stairs. Lights go on floor by floor.

In an apartment directly opposite, a businessman, his wife,
three young people and an old man in a wheelchair sit at
their dining table. The SS men burst in, machine pistols
at the ready. The family is frozen with horror, remain
seated.

The NCO scans their faces.

NCO
(in a towering rage)
Stand up!

The family rise to their feet fast, except for the old man
in the wheelchair. The NCO bears down on him.

NCO
Stand up!

The old man in the wheelchair grips the arms of the chair
and tries desperately to stand. But he can't. Without
warning, the SS men seize the chair with the old man in
it, carry him out on to the balcony.

THE SZPILMANS:

Mother SCREAMS, Father shrinks back, Halina comforts him
and Regina comforts Mother.




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Szpilman's and Henryk 's POV - the apartment opposite:

The SS men throw the old man in his wheelchair over the
balcony. He seems to hang in the air for a second then
drops out of the chair and out of sight. But there's a
terrible thud as his body hits the pavement and a clatter
as the wheelchair follows him.

THE SZPILMANS:

Mother sobbing. The others, still horrified.

REGINA
(softly, to Mother)
Be quiet, Mama, for God's sake, be
quiet!

Then sound of shots, slamming doors, screams, shouts.

Szpilman and Henryk hurry to another window so that they
can see what's going on.

Their POV from second window building opposite and street:

SS Men herding a couple of dozen prisoners from the building
opposite.

People watching from the windows but trying not to be seen.

The headlights of the SS vehicle are switched on and the
SS Men are forcing their prisoners to stand in the beam.

A GERMAN VOICE
Run! Run!

The prisoners start to run.

The SS men open fire with a machine gun mounted on the
vehicle. People in the building opposite begin to SCREAM.

The prisoners are being shot down. They are lifted into
the air by the bullets, turn somersaults, fall dead.

One man escapes by running back in the opposite direction,
out of the beam of light and is lost to sight for a moment.

The escaping man, a silhouette, out of the light, runs
with all his strength, putting distance between himself
and the SS. He starts to scale a wall. He looks as though
he's getting away.

But there's a floodlight on the SS vehicle. It flares into
light, swivels and finds the man. A volley of shots.

The man drops from the wall, dead. The SS men get into the
vehicle and speed off, driving over the dead bodies.

THE SZPILMANS:




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Szpilman and Henryk stare at the scene, silent, shocked.
The only sounds, the weeping of the people opposite and,
nearer, Mother crying softly.
Genres: ["War","Drama","Historical"]

Summary The Gestapo raids a building opposite the Szpilmans' apartment, forcing the family out and throwing an elderly man in a wheelchair over the balcony. The SS men then machine-gun prisoners in the street, with one man escaping briefly before being shot down. The Szpilman family watches in horror as the brutal events unfold, highlighting the terror and despair of the situation in the ghetto.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Tension
  • Realism
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Graphic violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is incredibly powerful and impactful, effectively conveying the horrors of war and the atrocities committed by the SS. The emotional intensity and shocking events make it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of depicting a night of terror during the German occupation is crucial in highlighting the harsh realities of war and the inhumanity of the SS. It effectively sets the tone for the rest of the story.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is gripping and intense, showcasing the escalating conflict and danger faced by the characters. It moves the story forward significantly and sets up future events in a compelling way.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and harrowing perspective on the horrors of war, with authentic and realistic character reactions to the violence unfolding around them.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to the horrifying events add depth and emotion to the scene. Their fear, shock, and grief are palpable, making the audience empathize with their plight.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo a significant emotional change as they witness the horrifying events unfold. Their fear and grief deepen, showcasing the impact of the trauma on their psyche.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is likely survival and coping with the trauma of witnessing such horrific events. The fear, shock, and grief experienced by the Szpilman family members reflect their deeper needs for safety, security, and emotional support.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is likely to avoid detection and harm from the SS men. They are passive observers of the events, trying to stay hidden and safe.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is extremely high, with the characters facing life-threatening danger and brutality from the SS. The tension and fear are palpable, adding to the intensity of the moment.

Opposition: 9

The strong opposition in the scene, represented by the SS men and the violence they inflict, creates a sense of danger and conflict that drives the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the characters facing life-threatening danger and witnessing horrific atrocities. The risk of death and the loss of loved ones heighten the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the escalating danger and brutality faced by the characters. It sets up future conflicts and challenges, driving the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden and shocking violence that occurs, keeping the audience on edge and uncertain of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the SS men's dehumanizing actions and the Szpilman family's humanity and empathy. The brutality and violence of the SS men challenge the values of compassion and decency held by the Szpilman family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of terror, shock, and sadness. The tragic events and the characters' reactions elicit a strong emotional response.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the terror and horror of the situation effectively. The characters' reactions and screams speak volumes without the need for extensive dialogue.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and gripping depiction of wartime atrocities, as well as the emotional impact on the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of violence and emotional intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a war drama screenplay, with clear scene headings and descriptions of action and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a linear and chronological structure, effectively building tension and suspense as the events unfold.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the terror and horror experienced by the Szpilman family as they witness the brutal actions of the SS men in the building opposite. The tension and fear are palpable throughout the scene.
  • The visual descriptions of the SS men's actions, such as throwing the old man in the wheelchair over the balcony and the subsequent shooting of the prisoners, create a vivid and chilling image for the audience.
  • The emotional impact of the scene is heightened by the reactions of the Szpilman family members, from Mother's sobbing to Regina's attempts to comfort her. These reactions add depth and humanity to the characters.
  • The use of different points of view, such as Szpilman and Henryk observing the events from different windows, adds a dynamic element to the scene and allows the audience to see the unfolding tragedy from multiple perspectives.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense and tension, leading up to the shocking moment when the prisoners are shot down by the SS men. The pacing of the scene keeps the audience engaged and on edge.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Szpilman and Henryk as they witness the horrific events unfolding. This could provide insight into their emotional state and further engage the audience.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more dialogue between the Szpilman family members during the scene. This could reveal their relationships and dynamics in a more nuanced way.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or aftermath after the SS men drive off, to show the lingering impact of the violence on the Szpilman family. This could provide closure to the scene and deepen the emotional resonance.



Scene 13 -  Desperate Search
INT. CAFE NOWOCZESNA - DAY

Szpilman, as if in another world, playing the piano. The
cafe is full of customers but the atmosphere is much more
subdued than previously, the mood is sombre.

EXT. CAFE NOWOCZESNA - DAY

A doorman with a cudgel beats away the beggars from the
door as Halina, distraught and out of breath, runs to the
cafe entrance. The doorman lets her in.

INT. CAFE NOWACZESNA - DAY

Szpilman snaps out of his reverie, seeing, across the heads
of the customers, Halina, in a state of great anxiety,
beckoning urgently.

Szpilman quickly brings the piece to a close, stands, steps
off the platform, threads his way through to Halina. She's
shivering, almost unable to speak.

SZPILMAN
What's happened?

HALINA
(almost incoherent)
Oh my God, it's terrible, you've
got to do something, oh my God!

SZPILMAN
(shaking her)
Calm down, what, what is it?

HALINA
They're hunting people on the
streets. They've picked up Henryk.

EXT. STREETS - DAY

Szpilman running. Streets crowded. Corpses. Szpilman,
sweating, dodges and sidesteps. Then, suddenly, a woman
bars his way. She's the Feather Woman, brightly rouged,
with her thickly painted eyebrows, the unsteady mauve
ostrich feather rising from her straw hat.

THE FEATHER WOMAN
Excuse me, but have you seen my
husband Izaak Szerman?

SZPILMAN
I'm afraid not.

He tries to dodge past but she grabs his arm.




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THE FEATHER WOMAN
He's tall, he's handsome. He has a
little grey beard. If you see him,
please do write, Izaak Szerman's
his name, don't forget.

Szpilman manages to free himself and runs on.

EXT. LABOUR BUREAU BUILDING - DAY

A mob of men in front of the building being herded this
way and that by Jewish policemen. More and more captive
men are brought in by the German Schutzpolizei (Shupos).
The mob constantly swelling.

Szpilman reaches the back of the crowd.

SZPILMAN
(to an elderly man
nearest him)
What's happening?

THE ELDERLY MAN
They've got my grandson in there.
They pick 'em up, they take 'em
away. What do they do to them?
I've stopped believing in God!

Szpilman scans the mob. The Jewish policemen using batons
and whips to herd the men. No sign of Henryk. Szpilman
becomes alert. He's seen someone he recognises. Heller,
with his red hair and Hitler moustache, wielding a baton,
driving men into the building. With difficulty, Szpilman
pushes his way through the mob and gets nearer to Heller.

SZPILMAN
(yelling)
Yitzchak!

Heller doesn't hear.

SZPILMAN
Yitzchak!

Heller glances round.

SZPILMAN
Here, please! Wladek Szpilman!

Heller shoves someone aside so that Szpilman can approach,
but he continues to beat and manhandle people.

SZPILMAN
Henryk's in there.

HELLER
I haven't seen him.

SZPILMAN
Believe me, they've picked him up.




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HELLER
Tough luck.

SZPILMAN
Can you help?

HELLER
Oh, you need me now, yes, now you
need me!

SZPILMAN
Can you help us?

HELLER
It costs.

SZPILMAN
I've no money.

HELLER
Then there's nothing I can do. He
should've joined us when I gave
him the chance..

SZPILMAN
Yitzchak, they told me you had
influence.

HELLER
Who told you?

SZPILMAN
People I know. They said you're an
important man.

Heller just glares at Szpilman and then moves away. Szpilman
stands, jostled by the crowd, uncertain, forlorn.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Amidst Nazi-occupied Poland, Szpilman faces a harrowing crisis when his friend Henryk is apprehended. Desperate for help, he approaches the Jewish policeman Heller, only to be met with betrayal and forced to confront the moral dilemma of Jewish collaboration. As Szpilman navigates the chaotic streets, he encounters a woman desperately searching for her lost husband, symbolizing the countless lives torn apart by the Holocaust's horrors.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful narrative
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly cliched or melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and high stakes faced by the characters, drawing the audience into the intense and suspenseful narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of searching for a missing family member in a war-torn environment is compelling and drives the tension of the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as the characters navigate the dangerous streets and encounter obstacles in their search for Henryk.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to wartime storytelling by focusing on personal relationships and moral dilemmas amidst chaos and danger. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters' emotions and motivations are well portrayed, adding depth to the scene and enhancing the sense of urgency.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in their emotions and priorities as they confront the harsh realities of war.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to find and save his friend Henryk, reflecting his deeper desire to protect those close to him and his fear of losing loved ones.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to seek help from Heller to save Henryk, reflecting the immediate challenge of navigating dangerous circumstances and seeking assistance from a questionable source.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high as the characters face the threat of violence and the uncertainty of Henryk's fate.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Szpilman facing obstacles and challenges in his quest to save Henryk, adding to the suspense and uncertainty of the situation.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of finding Henryk in a dangerous and chaotic environment heighten the tension and urgency of the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a new obstacle and raising the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in Szpilman's interactions with Heller and the escalating danger in the wartime setting.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the scene as Szpilman must navigate the moral dilemma of seeking help from someone with questionable motives in order to save his friend. This challenges his values and beliefs about loyalty and trust.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, desperation, and uncertainty, creating a powerful impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' desperation and fear, contributing to the overall tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, tense atmosphere, and emotional intensity, drawing the audience into Szpilman's desperate situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and urgency, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Szpilman's mission to save Henryk.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting that enhance the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through its pacing and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual of Szpilman playing the piano in a subdued and somber atmosphere, setting the tone effectively.
  • The introduction of Halina in a state of great anxiety adds tension and urgency to the scene, creating a sense of impending danger.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Halina is realistic and conveys the gravity of the situation effectively.
  • The transition to the streets with Szpilman running through a crowded and chaotic environment is well-paced and adds to the sense of danger and urgency.
  • The interaction with the Feather Woman provides a brief moment of humanity amidst the chaos, showcasing the impact of the war on individuals.
  • The revelation of the elderly man's loss of faith in God adds a layer of emotional depth to the scene, highlighting the despair and hopelessness of the situation.
  • The encounter with Heller introduces a conflict and raises the stakes for Szpilman, adding to the tension of the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys the sense of helplessness and desperation faced by the characters in the midst of the war.
  • Overall, the scene effectively captures the atmosphere of fear, uncertainty, and danger during wartime.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman to deepen the audience's connection with his character.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to enhance the immersive experience of the scene.
  • Provide more context or background information to further develop the characters and their motivations.
  • Consider adding a resolution or cliffhanger to leave the audience wanting more and create anticipation for the next scene.
  • Experiment with different pacing techniques to build tension and create a more dynamic flow throughout the scene.



Scene 14 -  Desperation in the Alleyway
EXT. ALLEY AND LABOUR BUREAU, LATER - MID-AFTERNOON

Szpilman, keeping to the shadows of the alleyway, watches
the front of the building. Comings and goings. German
Soldiers in evidence. The mob is smaller now.

Szpilman waits and watches, and then a POOR WOMAN passes,
carrying a can wrapped in newspaper followed by a RAGGED
OLD MAN, dragging himself along. He's shivering with cold,
his shoes with holes show his purple feet.

The ragged old man suddenly lunges forward and tries to
grab the can from the poor woman. They struggle desperately.

POOR WOMAN
(screaming)
A snatcher! Help me, a snatcher!

The can falls to the pavement and thick, steaming soup
pours into the dirty street.

Szpilman watches, rooted to the spot. The ragged old man
stares at the can, lets out a groan, more like a whimper,



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and throws himself full length in the slush, licking the
soup up from the pavement. The poor woman starts to howl,
kicking the old man and tearing at her hair in despair.

Then:

RUBINSTEIN'S VOICE
Boys, keep your peckers up! And
girls, keep your legs crossed!

RUBINSTEIN, a ragged, dishevelled little man, Chaplinesque,
waving a stick, hopping and jumping, approaches the Germans
outside the bureau.

RUBINSTEIN
Don't let 'em get you down -

He approaches a couple of Shupos.

RUBINSTEIN
Bandits! Crooks! Thieves!

He waves his stick at them. They laugh. One of them bows
low.

1ST SHUPO
Good day, Herr Rubinstein.

RUBINSTEIN
If that means good day, I'm your
man, you gangsters, robbers,
pirates!

2ND SHUPO
(tapping his head)
Mad!

RUBINSTEIN
Ich bin meshuge, you bandit!

Almost in tears with laughter, they give him a cigarette
and he goes on his way.

Szpilman almost smiles, then looks again at the building.
He waits.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Amidst the horrors of war, Szpilman witnesses a heartbreaking scene as a poor woman's soup is stolen by a starving old man. Rubinstein's antics provide a grim chuckle as he distracts German soldiers, highlighting the desperate and tragic conditions of the time.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of emotions and struggles
  • Introduction of unique character (Rubinstein)
  • Balanced tone of despair, hope, and dark humor
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be too intense for sensitive viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and struggle for survival faced by the characters, with a good balance of despair, hope, and dark humor. The introduction of Rubinstein adds a unique element to the scene, enhancing its impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival in the face of adversity is well-executed, with the scene effectively portraying the harsh realities of life in the Warsaw Ghetto during the German occupation.

Plot: 7

The plot focuses on the characters' struggle for survival in the Warsaw Ghetto, with the introduction of Rubinstein adding a new dynamic to the scene. The plot effectively conveys the desperation and resilience of the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the struggles of war and survival, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the setting and time period.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The introduction of Rubinstein adds a new dimension to the scene, showcasing different reactions to the challenging circumstances.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes in their emotions and reactions throughout the scene, reflecting the challenging circumstances they face. The introduction of Rubinstein adds a new dynamic to the character interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is likely to survive and navigate the dangerous environment he finds himself in. This reflects his deeper need for safety and security in a time of war.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to gather information or resources from the Labour Bureau without being caught or harmed by the German soldiers or other desperate individuals.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene has a moderate level of conflict, with the characters facing internal and external challenges in their struggle for survival. The conflict adds tension and drama to the scene, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts between characters and the oppressive presence of the German soldiers creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening challenges and desperate circumstances in the Warsaw Ghetto. The struggle for survival and the harsh realities of the occupation add intensity to the narrative.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' struggles and the harsh realities of life in the Warsaw Ghetto. The introduction of Rubinstein adds a new element to the narrative, driving the plot forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions of the characters and the tense atmosphere that keeps the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle for survival and morality in a time of war. The actions of the characters reflect the harsh reality of the situation and challenge their beliefs about humanity and compassion.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of despair, hope, and sorrow in the audience. The characters' struggles and the harsh realities of life in the Warsaw Ghetto are effectively portrayed, eliciting strong emotional responses.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and thoughts of the characters, with a good balance of despair, hope, and dark humor. The interactions between the characters, especially Rubinstein and the Shupos, add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense atmosphere, vivid descriptions, and compelling character interactions that draw the audience into the world of the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the story moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a war drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that advances the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the desperation and poverty of the characters in the alleyway, with the poor woman and ragged old man struggling over food.
  • Rubinstein's character adds a touch of humor and lightness to the scene, contrasting with the grim surroundings and situation.
  • The interaction between Rubinstein and the German soldiers provides a moment of tension and humor, showcasing the power dynamics at play.
  • Szpilman's reaction to the events unfolding around him is well portrayed, showing his internal conflict and uncertainty.
  • The scene effectively sets the tone of despair and helplessness in the face of adversity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to Szpilman's emotional response to the scene, perhaps showing a moment of internal struggle or reflection.
  • Explore the dynamics between Rubinstein and the German soldiers further, delving into the underlying tensions and power dynamics.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a more vivid picture of the alleyway and the characters' surroundings.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints of hope or resilience amidst the despair to add layers to the scene.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and interactions between characters remain authentic and true to the setting and context of the scene.



Scene 15 -  An Unexpected Encounter
EXT. ALLEY AND LABOUR BUREAU, LATER - DUSK

Sun just setting.

From the shelter of the alleyway, Szpilman continues to
watch the entrance of the bureau. No mob any more, but
people come and go - jewish policemen, shupos, a few jews.

Almost continuous sounds of distant shots and screams.

Then, Heller appears at the entrance, looks this way and
that and goes back inside the building. Szpilman alert.
Again Heller appears in the entrance. He beckons someone
inside. Henryk shuffles out. Heller shoves him into the
street. Henryk stumbles, falls.



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Szpilman runs to him, helps him to his feet.

HENRYK
(immediately on the
attack, furious)
You go to Heller, did I ask you to
talk to him?

SZPILMAN
You're out, aren't you?

They start to walk.

HENRYK
Did you beg, did you grovel to
that piece of shit, that cockroach?

SZPILMAN
I didn't grovel, I asked him to
help.

HENRYK
What did you pay him?

SZPILMAN
Pay him? With what? With what could
I pay him? Every zloty I earn we
spend on food!

HENRYK
I can look after myself!

SZPILMAN
They were taking you away.

HENRYK
It's nothing to do with you. It's
me they wanted, not you. Why do
you interfere in other people's
business?

SZPILMAN
You're mad, that's your trouble,
you're mad.

HENRYK
That's also my business.

They walk on.

EXT. CHLODNA STREET BRIDGE - DUSK

A wooden bridge has been constructed, linking the small
ghetto to the large ghetto. Few people about, mostly beggars
and children.

Szpilman and Henryk climb the stairs of the bridge, but as
they reach the bridge itself Henryk stumbles, sinks to his
knees. Szpilman gets hold of him, tries to help him stand.




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SZPILMAN
What's the matter? Are you sick?

HENRYK
Hungry.

EXT. CAFE NOWOCZESNA - NIGHT

Szpilman supports Henryk, helps him towards the back of
the cafe.

INT. KITCHEN, CAFE NOWOCZESNA - NIGHT

Henryk, finishing a bowl of soup and a piece of bread,
sits at a worktop with Szpilman and Benek. The kitchen is
small and busy with cooks, waiters, washers-up.

SZPILMAN
What's that mean, no employment
certificate?

HENRYK
You have to have an employment
certificate to work for one of the
German firms in the ghetto,
otherwise...

SZPILMAN
Otherwise what?

HENRYK
You'll be deported.

BENEK
So the rumours were true...

HENRYK
They're going to resettle us. Send
us to labour camps. In the east.
And they're closing the small
ghetto.

Silence.

EXT. CHLODNA STREET - DAY

A dense crowd of people crossing the bridge in both
directions.

Szpilman, shabby and unshaven, hurries along and meets
Jehuda Zyskind coming towards him, accompanied by the small
man, Majorek.

JEHUDA
Wladek!

Szpilman stops.

JEHUDA
I thought you'd be off on tour,
playing London, Paris, New York?



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SZPILMAN
(trying to smile)
Not this week.

They're buffeted by the crowd. In the street below them,
cars, trams, pedestrians and German guards.

JEHUDA
I have to say you look terrible.
What's the trouble?

SZPILMAN
You've heard the rumours they're
going to resettle us in the East?

JEHUDA
(dismissing him)
Rumours, rumours, you take it all
too much to heart, Wladek.

SZPILMAN
I've been trying to get a
certificate of employment for my
father. I've managed to get
certificates for me and the rest
of the family but I need one more
for my father. I've been trying
all the firms, the shops...

JEHUDA
Why didn't you come to me?

SZPILMAN
I didn't know you were in the
certificate business.

JEHUDA
I'm not, but Majorek is.

SZPILMAN
(to Majorek)
Can you help? I've no money...

JEHUDA
Please, don't insult us.
(to Majorek)
Can you do something for him?

MAJOREK
Be at the Schultz Workshop,
tomorrow, four o'clock.

JEHUDA
You see what a wonderful piece of
luck you've had today? That's die
historical imperative in action
and that's why I always say, look
on...




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SZPILMAN
(joining with him)
...the bright side, yes, I know.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary In the heart of Warsaw's ghetto, Szpilman anxiously awaits the reappearance of Heller at the entrance of a labor bureau. When Heller arrives, he forcefully guides Henryk out into the street, where Szpilman assists him. Henryk, consumed by anger, confronts Szpilman for his involvement, accusing him of meddling. Despite this outburst, Szpilman proceeds to help Henryk cross a bridge and enter a cafe, where they receive news of the impending resettlement of Jews to labor camps in the east.
Strengths
  • Authentic portrayal of wartime struggles
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel repetitive or melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and emotional turmoil faced by the characters, drawing the audience in with its tense and desperate tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival in a war-torn ghetto is portrayed with authenticity and depth, highlighting the harsh realities faced by the characters.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as the characters face new challenges and obstacles, adding layers to the story and building tension.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the war-torn setting, focusing on the characters' internal struggles and conflicts. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and face difficult decisions, leading to some internal growth and change.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to protect and help his friend Henryk, despite Henryk's resistance and anger. This reflects Szpilman's compassion, sense of responsibility, and desire to do what is right in a difficult situation.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to secure an employment certificate for his father to prevent deportation to labor camps. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges faced by the characters in the war-torn ghetto.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, creating a sense of urgency and danger for the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and high stakes for the characters, creating tension and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the threat of deportation, violence, and death, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome, driving the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and unexpected turns of events.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Henryk's pride and independence versus Szpilman's sense of duty and compassion. Henryk resents Szpilman's interference in his affairs, while Szpilman believes in helping others in need.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, eliciting feelings of fear, desperation, and empathy for the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and relationships, adding to the tension and drama of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflicts, realistic dialogue, and high stakes faced by the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and action.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension given the gravity of the situation. The dialogue between Szpilman and Henryk feels somewhat flat and lacks emotional depth, especially considering the dire circumstances they are facing.
  • The transition between the alleyway and the Labour Bureau is abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional turmoil and conflict between Szpilman and Henryk. The dialogue could be more impactful and reveal the internal struggles of the characters.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting, enhancing the overall atmosphere and mood.
  • The interaction between Szpilman, Henryk, and Heller could be more intense and charged with emotion to reflect the high stakes and tension of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to the dialogue to convey the complex emotions and conflicts between the characters. This will help to engage the audience and create a more compelling scene.
  • Work on building up the tension and urgency of the situation by incorporating more visual cues and descriptive elements to set the scene and create a sense of atmosphere.
  • Explore the internal struggles and motivations of the characters to add depth and complexity to their interactions. This will make the scene more dynamic and engaging for the audience.
  • Consider refining the pacing of the scene to ensure a smooth transition between different locations and interactions, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Focus on enhancing the emotional impact of the scene by emphasizing the high stakes and personal conflicts faced by the characters. This will help to create a more gripping and immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 16 -  Persecution and Deportation
INT. OFFICE AND FLOOR, SCHULTZ FACTORY - DAY

The name 'Samuel Szpilman' being written on a certificate.
The clatter of sewing machines.

SCHULTZ, a fat, sweaty German is filling out the form at
his desk. Majorek beside him, standing, chatting to him
and having a quiet laugh. In the doorway, Szpilman and
Father.

The small office is on an upper level with a window looking
down on the factory floor where Jewish men and women are
hard at work on sewing machines making the terrible clatter.

Schultz stamps the certificate, hands it to Majorek, who
gives it to Father.

FATHER
(doffing his hat)
Thank you.

SCHULTZ
(beaming, German
accent)
My pleasure. It won't help you
anyway.

EXT. CHLODNA STREET BRIDGE - DAY

A great mass of agitated people crossing only one way:
from the small ghetto to the large ghetto, carrying their
belongings. A German film crew records the scene. The
Szpilmans among the crowd, lugging suitcases and bundles,
Henryk with a few books, Father carrying his violin case.
They struggle across the bridge.

EXT./INT. YARD AND WAREHOUSE - DAY

A truck backing up. The tail-gate is opened to reveal a
huge load of furniture, linen, clothing, mirrors, carpets,
bedclothes. Three Jews inside the van start to unload the
stuff, dumping it in the yard.

Other Jews stand ready to start sorting the load, among
them the Szpilman family. Shupos and Jewish policemen
supervise.

Each has their allotted task: Szpilman and Henryk sort out
carpets, Father mirrors, Regina linen, Halina and Mother,
clothing.

The sounds of trains not far off.

They carry the stuff into the warehouse.




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INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

Szpilman and the others bring their piles of things into
the warehouse, which is crammed with similar objects, an
Aladdin's cave.

The activity continuous.

INT. SLEEPING QUARTERS, ABOVE WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

semi-darkness. A large room with an improvised partition
of blankets to separate the men from the women. Three-tiered
bunks.

On the men's side, Father is on the upper bunk, Henryk on
the lower. Szpilman, stripping down to his underwear, is
preparing to climb into the middle bunk.

FATHER
At least we've got work in the
ghetto. At least we're still
together.

Szpilman nods, climbs into his bunk, settles down. Somewhere
near, the sound of a train.

Then a volley of shots, German voices shouting.

Szpilman slips off his bunk, hurries to the door, opens it
and comes face to face with a German NCO and soldiers.

NCO
Out! Assemble in the yard!

SZPILMAN
We're employed here, we've got
certificates -

The NCO cracks Szpilman across the face, turns and goes.

Szpilman retreats into the room, his nose bleeding. The
women are watching from behind the blankets, but Mother
hurries towards Szpilman. She wipes his nose.

Shots, shouts, a scream.

EXT. WAREHOUSE YARD - DAWN

Still quite dark. The Szpilmans and about twenty others
lined up under lights shining on them from a couple of
German vehicles.

The NCO goes along the line, making a selection, using his
pistol to prod people into moving. When he gets to the
Szpilmans he selects Henryk and Halina. Then, he turns to
those who are left:

NCO
The rest of you get dressed then
report back here. Bring your
belongings. Fifteen kilos only.



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A YOUNG WOMAN
Where are you taking us?

The NCO turns his pistol on the young woman and shoots her
through the head. He marches off while she lies on the
ground with blood spurting out of her.

INT. SZPILMAN ROOMS, WAREHOUSE - DAWN

The partition has been pulled aside. People, including the
Szpilmans, are dressing or dressed, packing up their
belongings.

SZPILMAN
I'm sorry, I did my best, I thought
the certificates would save us
all.

MOTHER
Stop it, Wladek.

REGINA
Let's just hope that Henryk and
Halina will be better off -

Sounds of shots, screams, shouts, a piercing whistle.

EXT. STREET LEADING TO UMSCHLAGPLATZ - MORNING

Hot, fine summer's day. Jews, among them Szpilman, Mother,
Regina and father, clutching their meagre belongings, walk
towards wooden gates and come to a halt. Jewish policemen
approach and order the people about, pushing and shoving
them into line.

REGINA
(to a Jewish
policeman)
Where will we be going?

JEWISH POLICEMAN #1
You're going to work. You'll be
much better off than in this
stinking ghetto. The gates are

The gates are opened.

JEWISH POLICEMAN #2
Move!

They shuffle forward.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Despite receiving an employment certificate from the German factory owner, the Szpilman family is forced into the ghetto and given the task of sorting donated items in a warehouse. The scene takes a tragic turn as German soldiers select Henryk and Halina to be taken away, and the family witnesses the execution of a young woman who asks where they are being taken. The scene ends with the Szpilman family and other Jews being marched towards the Umschlagplatz, the assembly point for deportation to death camps.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of historical events
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing imagery

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and high stakes faced by the characters, drawing the audience into the harsh reality of their situation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of forced relocation and the impact it has on the characters is well-executed, setting the stage for further development of the story.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly as the characters are forced to leave their home and face uncertain futures, adding depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the Holocaust narrative, focusing on the daily struggles and ethical challenges faced by individuals trying to survive. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the face of adversity are compelling and help to deepen their development.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo emotional and psychological changes as they are forced to confront the harsh realities of their situation, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect his family and survive in the face of increasing danger and oppression. This reflects his deep desire for safety and security amidst the chaos of war.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges of living in a ghetto and working under German supervision. This reflects the immediate circumstances and threats he faces during the war.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters and their oppressors, as well as internal conflicts within the family, creates a tense and dramatic atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing life-threatening challenges and moral dilemmas that test their resilience and values.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the threat of violence, separation, and an uncertain future, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and moral dilemmas for the characters, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between survival instincts and moral values. The protagonist must make difficult choices to protect his family while maintaining his integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly feelings of fear, sadness, and empathy for the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the harsh realities of war and the characters' struggles to survive. The escalating tension and emotional stakes keep viewers invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, drawing viewers into the characters' struggles and dilemmas. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the emotional impact of the events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a wartime drama. The transitions between locations are smooth and help to maintain the flow of the narrative.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the escalating tension and danger faced by the characters. The pacing and rhythm enhance the emotional impact of the events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and terror of the situation faced by the Szpilman family as they are forced to relocate to the large ghetto.
  • The tension and urgency of the scene are palpable, especially with the NCO's violent actions and the brutal shooting of the young woman.
  • The dialogue between the family members adds depth to their emotions and struggles, showcasing their fear, desperation, and attempts to find hope in a dire situation.
  • The visual descriptions paint a vivid picture of the setting, from the cramped warehouse to the dark sleeping quarters and the harrowing scene in the yard with the German soldiers.
  • The scene effectively conveys the sense of helplessness and uncertainty faced by the characters, highlighting the harsh reality of their circumstances.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from Szpilman to further explore his feelings of guilt, fear, and determination to protect his family.
  • Enhance the sense of dread and danger by incorporating more sensory details, such as sounds of gunfire, screams, and the smell of fear in the air.
  • Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's connection to the characters and their struggles, adding layers to their motivations and relationships.
  • Explore the psychological impact of the traumatic events on the characters, delving into their mental and emotional states as they navigate the horrors of the Holocaust.
  • Consider incorporating moments of resilience or defiance from the characters to showcase their strength and resilience in the face of adversity.



Scene 17 -  The Umschlagplatz: Despair and Suffering
EXT. UMSCHLAGPLATZ - DAY

Szpilman, Mother, Regina and Father, with others, enter
through one of the gates, which closes on them. They pause
for a moment to take in their new surroundings.

The Szpilmans and their POV:




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Their first sight of the large rectangle, walled on two
sides and overlooked by buildings. Several hundred people.
People walk up and down.

SZPILMAN
Let's sit over there.

But he stops again, and so do the others. Something they
see causes them to stand stock still, expressionless.

THE SZPILMANS' POV:

An unoccupied space at the edge of the compound where
bloated, decaying bodies lie near to a wall. The wall itself
is spattered with blood. Large flies walk over the dead.
Nobody goes near.

THE SZPILMANS:

Szpilman turns away and leads the others to another space.

Later:

Glaring sun. The Szpilmans have settled down on the kerb
of a pavement and are waiting. Szpilman stands, observing
the scene.

Mother sits on a bundle of things, staring vacantly, her
hair hanging down in strands. Regina, beside her, has her
hands over her face and is weeping, the tears running
through her fingers.

Father walks nervously up and down, hands behind his back,
four steps one way, four steps back. Near them, a YOUNG
WOMAN begins to wail.

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

A young man, beside her, whispers to her, but she does not
seem to take in what he's saying. Her cries continue at
intervals.

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

The sound of trucks. Everyone looks towards the gates.

More Jews are being unloaded from trucks and are marched
through the gates. Mothers, children, old people, begging,
most of them holding papers. Pandemonium.

Later:

The sun high, blazing. Szpilman is wandering around,
occasionally greeting people. The place is crowded now,
packed. Trucks bring more and more Jews at intervals.

Old people lying down, exhausted, impossible to tell whether
some of them are alive or dead. Women carrying dehydrated




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children drag themselves from group to group. One WOMAN
approaches Szpilman.

WOMAN WITH CHILD
He's dying, don't you have a drop
of water? My child's dying of
thirst, he's dying, he's dying, I
beg you!

Szpilman shakes his head sadly. The woman with child wanders
off to another group.

A MAN'S VOICE
I'm telling you, it's a disgrace.

Szpilman turns to see a man, DR. EHRLICH, haranguing Father.

FATHER
I can hear you.

Szpilman goes to them.

DR. EHRLICH
(overlapping)
We're letting them take us to our
death like sheep to the slaughter!

FATHER
Dr. Ehrlich, not so loud!

DR. EHRLICH
Why don't we attack them? There's
half a million of us, we could
break out of the ghetto. At least
we could die honourably, not as a
stain on the face of history!

Another man, Grun, joins in.

GRUN
Why you so sure they're sending us
to our death?

DR. EHRLICH
I'm not sure. You know why I'm not
sure? Because they didn't tell me.
But I'm telling you they plan to
wipe us all out!

FATHER
Dr. Ehrlich, what do you want me
to do? You want me to fight?

GRUN
To fight you need organisation,
plans, guns!

FATHER
He's right. What d'you think I can
do? Fight them with my violin bow?




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GRUN
The Germans would never squander a
huge labour force like this. They're
sending us to a labour camp.

DR. EHRLICH
Oh, sure. Look at that cripple,
look at those old people, the
children, they're going to work?
Look at Mr Szpilman here, he's
going to carry iron girders on his
back?

A loud cry from Mother. Szpilman and Father spin round.

MOTHER
Henryk!

REGINA
(glancing up, shocked)
Oh my God!

Near the gates, among a large bunch of new arrivals, Henryk
and Halina.

MOTHER
Halina! Henryk!

Regina and Szpilman also call and wave. Henryk and Halina
struggle through to them. Halina falls into Mother's arms
and they hug.

HALINA
We heard you were here...we...didn't
want...we...we wanted to be with
you.

Mother comforts her. And so does Regina. Father smiles
sadly.

SZPILMAN
(shakes his head,
almost to himself,
a forlorn smile)
Stupid, stupid!

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Why did I do it? Why did I do it?
(MORE)

Szpilman stands and stares at her.

Later:

The sun lower but the heat still intense.

The place is now packed to suffocation. People calling out
names, trying to find each other. The wailing of women and
the cries of children.

A cordon of Jewish policemen and SS guards are, almost
surreptitiously, ringing the compound.


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42.

The Szpilmans sit in the same place, with Henryk sitting a
little apart and now reading a small book.

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

HALINA
She's getting on my nerves. What
did she do, for God's sake?

Grun leans across to her.

GRUN
(quietly, to Halina)
She smothered her baby.

Halina looks at him in disbelief.

GRUN
They'd prepared a hiding place and
so, of course, they went there.
But the baby cried just as the
police came. She smothered the
cries with her hands. The baby
died. A policeman heard the death
rattle. He found where they were
hiding.

Later:

Szpilman and Henryk.

SZPILMAN
What are you reading?

HENRYK
(a crooked, ironic
smile)
'If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge?'

Szpilman takes the book and reads the title page:
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

SZPILMAN
Very appropriate.

HENRYK
(taking the book
back and resuming
his reading)
Yes, that's why I brought it.
(MORE)

Later:

The Szpilmans seated on the kerb. Their attention is caught
by a BOY who has a box of sweets on a string round his
neck. And he's setting the sweets, pocketing money.


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43.

HENRYK
Idiot. What's he think he's going
to do with the money?

Father calls to the Sweet Boy and beckons him over.

FATHER
How much for a caramel?

THE SWEET BOY
Twenty zlotys.

FATHER
What? For one caramel? What d'you
think you're going to do with the
money?

THE SWEET BOY
Twenty zlotys.

FATHER
(turning to the
family)
Have we got twenty between us?

They search their pockets and handbags, hand over to Father
what change they can find. He, in turn, hands the money to
the Sweet Boy, who hands over one caramel and goes on his
way.

Father holds the caramel between thumb and forefinger and
examines it carefully. Then, carefully takes out his
penknife and with great care divides the caramel into six
pans. He hands a part to each of the family.

They all exchange a look, an acknowledgement of each other,
almost like a toast, and then they chew, slowly,
deliberately.

The whistle of a locomotive. Sound of trucks rattling over
the rails.

At once, a sound of great agitation from the Jews in the
compound.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the horrifying Umschlagplatz, the Szpilman family faces the grim horrors of Nazi captivity. Amidst dead bodies and blood-stained walls, Dr. Ehrlich advocates resistance, while others favor resignation. The arrival of Henryk and Halina offers a brief respite, but as the day progresses, overcrowding and desperation intensify. A young woman's haunting question of why she smothered her baby and a boy's futile attempt to sell candy highlight the depths of suffering witnessed.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of historical events
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, effectively conveys the high stakes, and moves the story forward significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, depicting the Szpilman family's arrival at the Umschlagplatz and the chaos and despair surrounding them, is crucial to the overall narrative of the screenplay.

Plot: 8

The plot in this scene is intense and gripping, showcasing the escalating danger and uncertainty faced by the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the Holocaust narrative, focusing on the personal struggles and moral dilemmas faced by individuals in the midst of unimaginable suffering. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and reactions feel authentic, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and face difficult decisions, leading to some internal changes.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to protect his family and maintain his humanity in the face of unimaginable suffering and loss. His actions and expressions reflect his struggle to cope with the atrocities he witnesses.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous and chaotic environment of the ghetto. He must make difficult decisions to ensure the safety of his family.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and moral dilemmas.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions. The uncertainty and moral complexity add depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high as the characters face deportation and potential death, adding urgency and tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story, setting the stage for further developments and escalating the tension.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists and moral complexities that challenge the characters' beliefs and actions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the challenges they face.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs about resistance, survival, and the nature of humanity. Dr. Ehrlich advocates for fighting back, while others question the futility of resistance in the face of overwhelming odds.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, fear, and resilience, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the dire situation they are in.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the characters' emotional journey and moral dilemmas. The vivid descriptions and intense dialogue create a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas. The rhythm of the scene enhances its impact and effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting. The visual and auditory elements are well-crafted to enhance the atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the escalating tension and emotional turmoil of the characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the harrowing and chaotic atmosphere of the Umschlagplatz, with the Szpilman family and other Jews facing the grim reality of their situation.
  • The visual descriptions of the decaying bodies, blood-spattered walls, and the desperation of the people add to the dark and somber tone of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Dr. Ehrlich, Father, and Grun highlights the internal conflicts and differing perspectives among the Jewish population about their fate.
  • The emotional reactions of the characters, such as Mother's vacant stare, Regina's tears, and Halina's distress, effectively convey the overwhelming despair and fear they are experiencing.
  • The interaction with the young woman who is wailing and the revelation about the woman who smothered her baby add layers of tragedy and desperation to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or introspection from Szpilman to provide insight into his thoughts and emotions amidst the chaos.
  • Explore the relationships between the characters further, especially the dynamics within the Szpilman family and their interactions with others in the Umschlagplatz.
  • Enhance the sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as describing the smells, sounds, and textures of the environment to create a more vivid and visceral experience.
  • Introduce moments of hope or resilience amidst the despair to add complexity and depth to the characters' experiences and showcase their humanity in the face of adversity.
  • Consider incorporating symbolic elements or motifs to enhance the thematic resonance of the scene and deepen the overall impact on the audience.



Scene 18 -  The Separation at the Umschlagplatz
EXT. RAILWAY SIDING - DAY

The locomotive pulling cattle and goods trucks comes into
sight, rolling slowly towards the boundary of the
Umschlagplatz and coming to a halt.

EXT. RAILWAY SIDING - DAY

A cordon of Jewish policeman and SS guards. Among the great
throng of people, the Szpilmans trudge towards the train.

Szpilman and Halina walking.

SZPILMAN
Halina?




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HALINA
What?

SZPILMAN
Funny time to say this.

HALINA
What?

SZPILMAN
wish I knew you better.

HALINA
(a smile)
Thanks.

THE TRAIN:

The Szpilmans near the train. The first trucks are already
full, the people inside pressed close together, SS men
pushing them with their rifle butts.

People in the trucks cry out in desperation.

The Szpilmans are pushed along by SS men along the cordon
of Jewish policemen, past loaded trucks.

Then, suddenly:

A VOICE
Szpilman! Szpilman!

A Jewish policeman grabs Szpilman by his collar and pulls
him back out of the police cordon. It's Heller. The rest
of the family have reached the next truck to be filled.

A scuffle as Szpilman tries to resist. Another Jewish
policeman shoves him.

Szpilman stumbles, falls to the ground, in front of him
the closed ranks of the Jewish policemen's backs.

He stands, runs at the cordon, seeing between their heads,
shoulders, Mother, Regina, Henryk and Halina clambering
into the trucks. Father is looking around, bewildered.

SZPILMAN
(yelling)
Papa!

Father sees him, takes a step towards him, but stops,
smiling helplessly. He raises his hand and waves, then
turns and goes towards the trucks.

Again, Szpilman flings himself at the policemen's shoulders.

SZPILMAN
(desperate)
Papa! Mama! Halina!

Heller turns on him.



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HELLER
What do you think you're doing,
Szpilman? I've saved your life!
Now, go on, save yourself!

Szpilman stands for a moment, confused, terrified. Then he
turns and starts to run.

HELLER
Don't run!

Szpilman drops to walking pace, makes for the gates. Workers
are pushing carts piled with the bloated corpses that lay
against the wall. Szpilman falls in with them and they
pass through the gates.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary A train arrives at the Umschlagplatz, and the Jewish prisoners are herded toward it by Jewish police and SS guards. Władysław and Halina Szpilman walk together as he regrets they do not know each other better. Then Jewish policeman Heller saves Władysław by taking him out the line just as his family is forced onto the train. Władysław tries to resist but Heller pushes him away. Władysław watches in horror as his family is loaded onto the train and taken away. Heller tells Władysław he has saved his life and he should save himself. Władysław drops in line with a group of workers pushing carts piled with corpses as he makes his way through the gates.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of historical events
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Heavy subject matter

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally charged, effectively conveying the horrors of the Holocaust and the devastating impact on the characters. The tension and despair are palpable, making it a powerful and impactful moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of forced separation and impending deportation to death camps is a crucial element in the scene, highlighting the brutal reality of the Holocaust and the inhumane treatment of Jews during that time period.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene as the Szpilman family faces the harrowing prospect of being sent to the death camps, adding depth to the narrative and raising the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its portrayal of the Holocaust from a personal and emotional perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue, as well as the vivid descriptions of the setting, contribute to a fresh and impactful portrayal of this historical event.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' emotions and reactions are well-developed, showcasing their fear, desperation, and love for each other in the face of impending tragedy.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional turmoil and growth in this scene, as they grapple with the harsh reality of their situation and the impending loss of their family members.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to save his family members from being loaded onto the train and separated from him. This reflects his deep need for connection and protection of his loved ones, as well as his fear of losing them to the horrors of the Holocaust.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal in this scene is to avoid being loaded onto the train himself and to find a way to survive the Holocaust. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces of staying alive and escaping the fate of those being transported to the concentration camps.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, as the characters face the ultimate threat of being separated from their loved ones and sent to their deaths, creating a sense of urgency and despair.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Szpilman facing difficult choices and obstacles that challenge his beliefs and values. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how he will navigate the moral dilemmas and survive the harrowing circumstances.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in this scene, as the characters face the imminent threat of deportation to death camps and the loss of their loved ones, creating a sense of urgency and desperation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting the stage for the characters' fates and highlighting the dire circumstances they face, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and choices. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold and who will survive the harrowing circumstances.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between self-preservation and sacrifice for others. Szpilman is torn between saving himself and saving his family, highlighting the moral dilemma faced by individuals in extreme circumstances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting strong feelings of sadness, empathy, and horror from the audience, effectively conveying the tragedy of the Holocaust.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional content, high stakes, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and invested in the outcome, creating a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a rhythmic flow of events that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles. The pacing enhances the emotional impact of the scene, drawing the audience into the characters' experiences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions of actions and dialogue, and a coherent flow of events. The visual and auditory elements are effectively conveyed, enhancing the audience's immersion in the story.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the escalating tension and emotional stakes, following a clear narrative arc that builds towards a dramatic climax. The formatting and pacing enhance the impact of the scene, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and desperation of the Umschlagplatz, with the Szpilman family being herded towards the train under the watchful eyes of Jewish policemen and SS guards.
  • The emotional turmoil of Szpilman is palpable as he is separated from his family and pulled back by Heller, creating a sense of helplessness and despair.
  • The conflict between Szpilman's desire to stay with his family and Heller's insistence on saving his life adds a layer of tension and moral dilemma to the scene.
  • The visual descriptions of the crowded trucks, people crying out in desperation, and the bloated corpses being pushed in carts effectively convey the horror and inhumanity of the situation.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Halina, as well as the interaction with Heller, adds depth to the characters and highlights the emotional turmoil they are experiencing.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from Szpilman to further explore his inner turmoil and conflicting emotions.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive depiction of the Umschlagplatz, emphasizing the chaos, fear, and desperation of the scene.
  • Explore the dynamics between Szpilman and Heller further to delve into the moral complexities of survival and sacrifice in the face of such atrocities.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience, such as the sounds of people crying out, the smell of fear and sweat, and the visual impact of the bloated corpses.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation, building towards a climactic moment of emotional impact.



Scene 19 -  Despair and Hiding in the Ghetto
EXT. TRAIN - DAY

The doors of the trucks are closed. The train begins to
move. Slow, laborious. From the trucks, the faint cries of
the occupants.

EXT. STREET BY THE SIDING - DAY

Szpilman catches his breath by a building. An SS man and
Jewish policeman emerge. The Jewish policeman is servile,
crawling to the German. He points to the train -

JEWISH POLICEMAN
Well, off they go for meltdown!

They laugh as they walk away. Szpilman turns and stumbles
down the empty street. The cries from the trucks fading.
He begins to weep, loud, agonised sobs, and staggers on.

EXT. GHETTO STREET - EVENING

Szpilman, lost, empty, aimless, tries to catch his breath
in the aftermath of his tears.

He wanders forlornly down the street, passing empty
buildings with their doors open, windows smashed. Furniture,
torn mattresses and pillows lie scattered. Feathers fly.
Desolation.

He turns a corner.

EXT. COURTYARD, JEHUDA'S STREET - EVENING

Szpilman comes into the courtyard. He stops, his face blank.

Lying outside the door, the bodies of Jehuda, Mrs. Zyskind,
their two sons and the toddler. Szpilman steps across the
bodies.

INT. JEHUDA ZYSKIND'S ROOM - EVENING

Chaos. Papers, pamphlets strewn all over the place. The
mimeograph smashed.

Szpilman enters, stands, surveying the devastation.



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Distant sounds of shooting, shouts, cries.

He gathers up some papers in a pile, takes off his jacket
and covers the pile of papers, making a pillow. He lies
down on the floor.

He stares into the darkness, expressionless, empty.

EXT. STREET NEAR CAFE NOWOCZESNA - DAY

Szpilman shuffles along, comes to the cafe. No sign of
life, but the door is wide open. He goes inside.

INT. CAFE NOWOCZESNA - DAY

A shambles. Szpilman wanders through the upturned tables,
broken chairs. Stops, looks about. Nothing.

Distant shots, automatic fire.

He turns and makes for the door. Then he hears an urgent
hiss. He turns sharply and tries to find the source of it.
He hears the hiss again.

Now he sees, hiding under the platform, Benek, beckoning
to him. Szpilman hurries over and crawls on his back until
he's beside him. Benek replaces a plank and they are hidden
from view.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Szpilman's sorrow over a departing death train leads him through the desolate ghetto, where he witnesses tragedy and seeks shelter. He encounters the murdered Jehuda and family, gathers belongings, and lies down in their ransacked home. Later, he reunites with Benek in the Cafe Nowoczesna, hiding together amidst gunfire.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Compelling portrayal of devastation and loss
  • Effective use of imagery and symbolism
Weaknesses
  • Sparse dialogue may leave some viewers wanting more insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the situation, with powerful imagery and poignant moments that leave a lasting impact on the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying the aftermath of a tragic event in the Warsaw Ghetto is compelling and thought-provoking, shedding light on the human cost of war and genocide.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the aftermath of a devastating event, showcasing the characters' reactions and the bleak reality they face in the ghetto. It effectively conveys the sense of loss and despair.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality in its portrayal of the emotional and moral dilemmas faced by the characters in a war-torn city. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are deeply affected by the events unfolding around them, showing a range of emotions from grief to resignation. Their reactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a significant emotional transformation in the scene, moving from shock and disbelief to profound grief and resignation. Their experiences change them on a fundamental level.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to cope with the overwhelming emotions of grief, despair, and emptiness he is experiencing. It reflects his deeper need for survival, hope, and resilience in the face of extreme adversity.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal in this scene is to find safety and shelter amidst the chaos and danger of the war-torn city. It reflects his immediate challenge of survival and avoiding detection by the SS men.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is internal, as the characters grapple with the devastation and loss they have experienced. The tension lies in their emotional turmoil and the bleak reality of their situation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Szpilman facing internal and external challenges that test his resilience, morality, and survival instincts.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, as the characters face the brutal reality of war and genocide, with their lives and humanity at risk.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by depicting the aftermath of a key event in the narrative, setting the stage for further developments and exploring the emotional impact on the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in Szpilman's journey, the moral dilemmas he faces, and the constant threat of danger in the war-torn city.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between survival and morality. Szpilman is faced with the dilemma of whether to prioritize his own survival or risk his life to help others, as seen in his interaction with Benek.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, grief, and despair in the audience. The tragic events depicted resonate deeply with the viewer.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue is sparse but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and the bleakness of their situation. It effectively complements the visual storytelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and the suspenseful atmosphere of war. The audience is drawn into Szpilman's struggle for survival and his internal turmoil.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing for moments of reflection and intensity that enhance the overall impact of the narrative.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional depth through its pacing and narrative progression.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and devastation experienced by Szpilman after witnessing the train carrying Jews to their deaths depart. The use of faint cries from the trucks, Szpilman's weeping, and the desolate surroundings all contribute to the somber tone of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions of the empty street, torn buildings, scattered furniture, and the bodies of Jehuda and his family create a vivid and haunting image of the aftermath of tragedy. The chaos in Jehuda's room further emphasizes the destruction and loss experienced by Szpilman.
  • The sounds of shooting, shouts, and cries in the background add to the atmosphere of chaos and despair, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.
  • Szpilman's actions of gathering papers, making a pillow, and lying down on the floor symbolize his emotional and physical exhaustion, effectively portraying his state of mind.
  • The introduction of Benek hiding under the platform adds an element of mystery and intrigue, leaving the reader curious about the significance of this encounter.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue for Szpilman to further explore his emotions and thoughts in the aftermath of the traumatic events he has witnessed.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to immerse the reader in the desolation and devastation of the surroundings, such as describing the smells, sounds, and textures of the environment.
  • Provide more context or hints about the significance of Benek hiding under the platform to create anticipation and intrigue for the reader.
  • Consider incorporating symbolic elements or motifs throughout the scene to deepen the thematic resonance and emotional impact of Szpilman's experiences.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the emotional turmoil of witnessing the train departure and the encounter with Benek to maintain the coherence and flow of the narrative.



Scene 20 -  The Disappearing Woman
INT. UNDER THE PLATFORM, GHETTO CAFE - DAY

Thin slivers of light illuminate the two men on their backs
in the cramped space.

BENEK
(looking at him,
mystified)
Why are you here, Mr. Wladek?

SZPILMAN
It's like this... I...we...all of
them.

He can't continue. Benek nods.

BENEK
Perhaps they're lucky. The quicker
the better.
(Brief pause.)
It isn't over yet. We'll stay here
for a couple of days. Until things
die down.
(Another pause)
I've bribed a policeman. He'll
come when it's over.

EXT. GHETTO STREET - DAY

In bright sun, Szpilman and Benek march in a column, four
abreast, under the command of two Jewish foremen, guarded




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by two German policemen. They are being marched out of the
ghetto gates.

SZPILMAN
(to Benek)
My God. I haven't been outside for -
it must be two years.

FELLOW WORKER
(on the other side
of him)
Don't get over-excited.

EXT. ZELAZNA BRAMA SQUARE - DAY

Street traders with baskets full of wares, fruit,
vegetables, fish, tins of preserves. Women bargain with
them, making purchases. Lively, colourful. Dealers in gold
and currency calling monotonously.

DEALERS
Gold, buy gold! Dollars! Roubles!

Later:

Szpilman, on top of a free-standing scaffold, Benek and
the others demolishing a ghetto wall, wielding skdgehammers.
They work slowly.

A smartly dressed young couple are passing, but stop.

They stare. The young woman is extremely attractive and
knows it. The foremen, workers and the German policemen
ogle her.

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Look - oh, do look!

Her young man is puzzled; she points.

THE YOUNG WOMAN
Jews!

THE YOUNG MAN
Can't be the first time you've
ever seen Jews.

Embarrassed, she giggles and they go. Szpilman, Benek and
the others continue to work.

The foremen sit, sunning themselves, and the German
policemen stand, deep in conversation, ignoring the workers.

Szpilman suddenly stops work. He has seen something in the
square that alerts him.

At the furthest stall, he sees a woman, attractive, chic,
in her thirties, buying vegetables at a stall. Her name
is JANINA GODLEWSKA.




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Surreptitiously, Szpilman raises a hand, trying to catch
her attention. But he's frightened of alerting the German
policemen and the foremen. Benek has noticed.

BENEK
Someone you know?

SZPILMAN
Yes.

Again Szpilman tries, but Janina, her profile to him,
doesn't see.

BENEK
A beauty. Who is she?

SZPILMAN
A singer. Her husband's an actor.
I knew them well. Good people. I'd
like to talk to her.

BENEK
(playful)
Don't forget, Mr. Wladek, they
hang them for helping Jews.

He goes back to work.

The German policemen wander over to one of the stalls to
buy fruit. The moment they do so two Jewish workers scamper
across to another stall to buy bread.

Szpilman glances across the square: Janina is still at the
stall.

He comes to a decision. He jumps down, is about to dash
towards Janina, but stops dead.

Janina is no longer there.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Mr. Wladek and Benek are hiding under a platform in the ghetto to avoid being captured. They are marched out of the ghetto gates and see people buying and selling goods on the street. Mr. Wladek notices an attractive woman but decides not to approach her due to the risk of being caught. The conflict is resolved when the woman disappears before Mr. Wladek can make a move.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some pacing issues in the dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and high stakes faced by the characters, drawing the audience in with its powerful storytelling.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival in the face of extreme adversity is compelling and well-executed, showcasing the characters' resilience and moral dilemmas.

Plot: 7

The plot is engaging and drives the narrative forward, setting up important conflicts and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on wartime struggles, focusing on personal connections and moral dilemmas amidst chaos. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and nuanced.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their struggles feel authentic, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes as they grapple with difficult choices and circumstances, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to reconnect with a familiar face from his past, Janina Godlewska, amidst the chaos and danger of the war. This reflects his desire for human connection and a sense of normalcy in a tumultuous time.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to avoid detection by the German policemen and foremen while trying to communicate with Janina. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining secrecy and safety in a dangerous environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, adding tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external threats and internal conflicts that challenge their goals and values.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes faced by the characters create a sense of urgency and danger, keeping the audience engaged.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and escalating the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions between characters, the shifting power dynamics, and the sudden twists in the characters' goals and motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the moral dilemma of risking one's life to help others in need, as seen in Benek's playful warning to Szpilman about the consequences of helping Jews. This challenges Szpilman's values of compassion and loyalty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, eliciting empathy and connection with the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its suspenseful atmosphere, complex character dynamics, and the high stakes of the characters' actions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with well-timed pauses, action sequences, and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and action sequences, effectively building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension given the dire circumstances of the characters being in hiding under the platform in a ghetto cafe.
  • The dialogue between Mr. Wladek and Benek feels somewhat disconnected and lacks emotional depth, considering the gravity of their situation.
  • The transition from the cramped hiding space to the bright sunlit street with traders and a smartly dressed couple feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the emotional intensity of the scene.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Janina Godlewska lacks a sense of danger and suspense, which is crucial given the risks involved in their potential encounter.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the atmosphere and convey the characters' emotions effectively.
Suggestions
  • Intensify the emotional depth of the dialogue between Mr. Wladek and Benek to reflect the gravity of their situation and the risks they face.
  • Enhance the sense of urgency and tension throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and emotionally invested in the characters' plight.
  • Smooth out the transition between different settings to maintain a cohesive flow and emotional resonance.
  • Add more suspenseful elements to the interaction between Szpilman and Janina Godlewska to heighten the stakes and create a sense of danger.
  • Include more visual cues to convey the characters' emotions and the high-risk nature of their circumstances effectively.



Scene 21 -  Demolition to the Gates
EXT. GHETTO STREET - DAY

As before, Szpilman and Benek march towards the ghetto
gates in the demolition column, four abreast, under the
command of the Jewish foremen and guarded by the two German
policemen.

Suddenly:

YOUNG SS MAN
Halt!
(MORE)

The column halts before a young SS man, wild-eyed, with
his sleeves rolled up and wielding a pistol. He talks
excitedly to the policemen then turns, walks along the
column dividing them up: some men to the right, others,
seven of them, to the left. Benek he orders to the left,
Szpilman to the right.

Young SS man turns to those on the left.



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YOUNG SS MAN
Lie down!

Terrified, they obey. He stands over them and, one by one,
shoots them. When he comes to Benek, the seventh man, his
pistol runs out of ammunition. He changes the clip, shoots
Benek and marches off.

EXT. BUILDING SITE, OUTSIDE GHETTO - DAY

Szpilman, bent almost double, carries a hod on his back
piled with bricks. He is mounting a wooden ramp that runs
up beside scaffolding on a small building site where an
extra floor is being added to a house. There are Polish
workers, too, who don't, of course, wear armbands as the
Jews do. There's a wooden hut serving as a store on the
site.

Halfway up the ramp, Szpilman hears someone whistle. He
stops, turns to see, at the bottom of the ramp, Majorek,
smiling and giving a discreet wave.

Later:

Szpilman and Majorek sip gruel out of mugs. They sit apart
from the others who are also taking a break.

SZPILMAN
How long have you been here?

MAJOREK
Since last night. I was pleased to
see you.

Brief silence.

MAJOREK
They're going to start the final
resettlement now. We know what it
means. We sent someone out. Zygmunt.
A good man. His orders were to
follow the trains out of Warsaw.
He got to Sokolow. A local
railwayman told him the tracks are
divided, one branch leading to
Treblinka. He said every day freight
trains carrying people from Warsaw
forked to Treblinka and returned
empty. No transports of food are
ever seen on that line. And
civilians are forbidden to approach
the Treblinka station. They're
exterminating us. Won't take them
long. We're sixty thousand left.
Out of half a million. Mostly young
people. And this time we're going
to fight. We're in good shape.
We're organised. We're prepared.

SZPILMAN
If you need help...



8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
50.

Whistle blows.

A little later:

Szpilman again mounting the ramp with a hod full of bricks
on his back. The noise of airplanes overhead.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of a demolition column, Szpilman and Benek face imminent peril. An SS man ruthlessly executes Benek, leaving Szpilman spared due to a fortunate malfunction. Later, Szpilman encounters Majorek, who reveals the sinister plan of final resettlement and their desperate resolve to resist. The scene culminates with a somber discussion of the impending extermination, highlighting the characters' resilience in the face of adversity.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional impact
  • Realistic characters
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Heavy subject matter

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, with high stakes and intense conflict. It effectively moves the story forward and highlights the importance of character changes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the final resettlement and the characters' struggle for survival in the face of extermination is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is intense and gripping, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and making difficult decisions to survive.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the Holocaust narrative, focusing on the individual experiences and choices of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and conveys the sense of urgency and despair effectively.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their actions and emotions are realistic and relatable, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes as they are forced to confront the harsh reality of their situation and make difficult decisions to survive.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal is survival and resistance against the oppressive forces. He desires to protect himself and his community from harm and fight back against the atrocities being committed.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal is to physically survive and navigate the dangerous environment of the ghetto. He also aims to gather information and support for the resistance movement.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and life-threatening, with the characters facing imminent danger and making difficult choices to survive.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing life-threatening situations, moral dilemmas, and conflicting ideologies.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high, with the characters facing imminent death and having to make life-or-death decisions to survive.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' struggle for survival and the escalating danger they face.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden shifts in power dynamics, the unexpected actions of the SS officer, and the uncertain fate of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between hope and despair. Majorek's belief in resistance and fighting back contrasts with the grim reality of extermination and loss.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, sadness, and resilience, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, adding to the tension and drama of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and emotional content, the high stakes faced by the characters, and the sense of urgency and danger in the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character interaction amidst the intense action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with proper scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting. It follows the expected format for a screenplay in its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of events and character interactions. It adheres to the expected format for a war drama genre.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and gripping, with a sudden and shocking turn of events as the young SS man orders some men to lie down and shoots them one by one, including Benek. This creates a sense of fear and tension that is palpable.
  • The dialogue is minimal but impactful, especially with the chilling command to 'Lie down!' followed by the sound of gunshots. This adds to the sense of dread and helplessness in the scene.
  • The visual imagery of the scene is powerful, with the contrast between the Polish workers and the Jewish prisoners, the wooden ramp, and the building site creating a stark backdrop for the brutal events that unfold.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Majorek provides insight into the dire situation they are facing, with the mention of the final resettlement and the grim reality of the extermination camps. This adds depth to the scene and highlights the urgency of their plight.
  • The use of sound, such as the whistle blowing and the noise of airplanes overhead, adds to the atmosphere of tension and impending danger in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Szpilman's reaction to witnessing the brutal execution of Benek and the other prisoners. This could further highlight the trauma and horror of the Holocaust.
  • Explore the internal conflict within Szpilman as he navigates the brutal reality of the situation and grapples with the decision to survive at any cost. This could add complexity to his character and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as the smell of sweat and fear, the taste of gruel, and the sounds of gunfire and whistles. This can enhance the realism and intensity of the moment.
  • Further develop the relationship between Szpilman and Majorek to showcase their bond and mutual struggle for survival. This could add depth to their characters and provide a sense of camaraderie amidst the chaos of the Holocaust.
  • Continue to build suspense and tension throughout the scene, leading to a climactic moment that leaves the audience on the edge of their seats. This can create a sense of urgency and anticipation that keeps viewers engaged.



Scene 22 -  Beatings and Announcements
EXT. SKY - DAY

A swarm of Russian bombers. Anti-aircraft fire. Puffs of
exploding shells.

EXT. BUILDING SITE - DAY

The workers look up. So does Szpilman and, as he does so,
the bricks slide off his hod, crashing to the ground below.

ZICK-ZACK
You!

An SS man, ZICK-ZACK (his nickname), with a whip, approaches
Szpilman.

ZICK-ZACK
Here!

Szpilman goes to him. Enraged, Zick-Zack grabs him by the
hair and presses his head hard between his thighs and then
beats him mercilessly.

ZICK-ZACK
(with every stroke,
hissing through
clenched teeth)
Und-zick! Und-zack! Und-zick! Und-
zack!

After a dozen or so strokes, Szpilman falls forward and
lies in the dirt. Zick-Zack nods, satisfied.

ZICK-ZACK
Get him away from here.

Two Poles, without armbands, one of them Bartczak, drag
him away.

Bartczak and the other man help Szpilman to his feet.

BARTCZAK
Hope you played the piano better
than you carry bricks.

POLISH WORKMAN
He won't last long if he goes on
like this.

BARTCZAK
I'll see if I can get him something
better.




8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
51.

INT./EXT. STORES AND BUILDING SITE - DAY

Winter. Rain. Cold. The store, a wooden hut, contains wood,
nails, tools, paint, metal brackets.

Szpilman sits at a table, where a line of workers has
formed. Szpilman makes a record in a ledger of the tools
each worker takes out on the site.

A worker puts his head into the store.

WORKER
(hissing)
Trouble.

A GERMAN VOICE
Assemble! Fall in! Only the Jews!
Poles go on working! Only the Jews!
Poles go on working!

The Jewish workers start to assemble on the site in
haphazard ranks as an SS Captain strides in.

The SS Captain, with much jollity and jokes, hops up on to
scaffolding and stands, beaming broadly, surveying the
workers.

SS CAPTAIN
(in English)
I have important and good news for
you. There are rumours circulating
that resettlement measures are
again going to be taken.

A glance between Szpilman and Majorek.

SS CAPTAIN
(in English)
I want to assure you personally
that no such measures will be taken
now or in the future. Posters will
be going up also to this effect.
As proof of our good will, we want
you to select a delegate, who will
be permitted to go into town once
a day to buy, on each worker's
behalf, five kilos of potatoes and
one loaf of bread, which you will
be allowed to take back into the
ghetto. Now, why would we do that
j if we meant to resettle you?

He beams; no reaction from the workers.

SS CAPTAIN
(in English)
You can do good business on what
you don't eat. Isn't that what you
Jews are best at? Making 'geld'?
(MORE)




8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
52.

Rubs thumb and forefinger and leers; still no reaction;
his smile vanishes.

SS CAPTAIN
(in English)
Carry on.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary A swarm of Russian bombers can be seen in the sky, causing fear among the workers on a building site. Szpilman is brutally beaten by an SS man named Zick-Zack, while Bartczak expresses concern for his well-being. The scene then shifts to a store where the workers are informed by an SS Captain that there will be no resettlement measures taken, but they can make money by selling food. The workers do not react, causing the SS Captain's smile to vanish.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Realism
  • Tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Sparse dialogue
  • Graphic violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the horrors of the Holocaust, creating a tense and grim atmosphere that evokes strong emotions in the audience. The brutality and despair faced by the characters are portrayed with raw authenticity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of oppression and false promises in a war-torn ghetto is powerfully depicted, shedding light on the harsh realities faced by the Jewish community during World War II.

Plot: 9

The plot unfolds with a sense of urgency and tension, as the characters navigate through a dangerous and oppressive environment. The stakes are high, and the conflict is palpable.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of war and the dehumanization of individuals, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their struggles are relatable, adding depth to the narrative. Szpilman's resilience and Majorek's defiance stand out in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a physical and emotional transformation in the scene, from being beaten and humiliated to finding inner strength and resilience. His character arc is compelling and adds depth to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is likely survival and maintaining his dignity in the face of brutal treatment. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and self-respect.

External Goal: 7.5

Szpilman's external goal is to endure the physical and emotional abuse he faces from the SS officer and survive the harsh conditions of the work site.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with the characters facing external threats from the SS and internal struggles with their own survival. The tension is palpable throughout.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the SS officer exerting power and control over the protagonist, creating a sense of danger and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with the characters facing the threat of violence, deportation, and death. The survival of the Jewish workers is at risk, adding a sense of urgency and tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the escalating conflict and the characters' struggle for survival. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative, driving the plot forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden shifts in power dynamics and the unexpected actions of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization and oppression of the Jewish workers by the SS officer, contrasting with Szpilman's desire for dignity and autonomy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, eliciting feelings of despair, fear, and anger. The brutal treatment of the characters and the sense of hopelessness create a powerful emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sparse but impactful, conveying the harsh reality of the characters' situation. The SS Captain's false promises and Szpilman's silent resilience add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and dramatic conflict, as well as the emotional stakes for the protagonist.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue that enhance the pacing and mood.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the escalating tension and brutality of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a dramatic and intense moment of a swarm of Russian bombers and anti-aircraft fire, setting a tense and urgent tone. This is a powerful visual that immediately grabs the audience's attention.
  • The physical violence inflicted on Szpilman by the SS man, Zick-Zack, is brutal and disturbing, effectively conveying the harsh reality of the situation during the Holocaust. The hissing of 'Und-zick! Und-zack!' adds to the chilling atmosphere of the scene.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Bartczak after the beating provides a brief moment of respite, showing the camaraderie among the workers despite the harsh conditions they are in.
  • The arrival of the SS Captain with his false promises and leering behavior adds a layer of irony and tension to the scene, highlighting the manipulation and cruelty of the Nazi regime.
  • The lack of reaction from the Jewish workers to the SS Captain's speech effectively conveys their resilience and defiance in the face of oppression, showcasing their strength and unity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman during the beating scene to deepen the audience's connection with his character and the trauma he is experiencing.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating subtle gestures or reactions from the workers to the SS Captain's speech to further emphasize their defiance and resistance.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting to create a more immersive and vivid picture of the building site and the workers' surroundings.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or introspection for Szpilman after the brutal encounter with Zick-Zack to show the emotional impact of the violence on his character.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and actions of the characters align with the historical context and the gravity of the Holocaust, maintaining sensitivity and accuracy in portraying such a dark period in history.



Scene 23 -  A Hidden Hope in the Depths of Despair
EXT. BUILDING SITE - DAY

Snow. Majorek pulls a barrow by a rope attached to its
shaft across the site. On the barrow, five sacks. The Jewish
workers are phased to see him.

Majorek pulls the barrow to where Szpilman waits.

MAJOREK
(under his breath)
The smaller one. At the bottom.

Szpilman nods and starts unloading the sacks as Majorek
moves away.

INT. STORES - DAY

Szpilman has unpacked the sacks and laid them in the corner.
He kneels before the smallest of the sacks and unties the
string around its neck.

He puts his hand inside the sack and potatoes tumble out.
He reaches to the bottom and is still as his hand finds
something. Carefully, he removes a pistol, then another,
both wrapped in oil cloths. He hides them under his jacket.

INT./EXT. STORES AND BUILDING SITE - NIGHT

Szpilman and a Jewish worker distribute the potatoes to
the other Jewish workers lined up with empty containers of
various kinds. There are scales on the table, and they
weigh out five kilos of potatoes, pour them into the men's
containers and drop in a loaf of bread.

EXT. STREET LEADING TO GHETTO - NIGHT

The Jewish workers, all carrying their parcels of potatoes
and bread, march back towards the ghetto gates escorted by
two Polish policemen. Szpilman walks beside them. Ahead of
him, Majorek near the front of the column.

As the column nears the ghetto gates, Majorek tosses his
package over the wall and when Szpilman reaches the same
spot, he throws a similar package. The column marches on.

INT. JEWISH BARRACKS - NIGHT

A small room with several three-tiered bunk beds. The sound
of men's heavy breathing and snoring.

Szpilman lies awake, staring at the ceiling. He reaches
inside his jacket, finds a scrap of paper and a pencil,
writes something.




8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
53.

He slips off his bunk and crosses to another set of bunks,
crouches down at the bottom one, where Majorek sleeps.

SZPILMAN
(whispered)
Majorek!

Majorek is instantly awake.

SZPILMAN
Have a favour to ask. I want to
get out of here.

MAJOREK
It's easy to get out, it's how you
survive on the other side that's
hard.

SZPILMAN
I know. But last summer, I worked
for a day in Zelazna Brama Square.
I saw someone I knew. A singer.
Her husband's an actor. They're
old friends. (
(He holds out the "
piece of paper.)
I've written their names down. And
their address. If they're still
there. Janina Godlewska and Andrzej
Bogucki. Good people. Majorek, you
go into the town every day. Would
you try and make contact? Ask them
if they'd help me get out of here?

Majorek takes the paper but says nothing. He turns over
and goes back to sleep. Szpilman returns to his bunk.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Amidst the horrors of forced labor in the snow, a glimmer of humanity emerges. Majorek, a Polish civilian, discreetly conceals pistols within a potato sack for Szpilman, a Jewish pianist. Later, they distribute provisions, and Majorek tosses a package over the ghetto wall, with Szpilman mirroring his actions. In the confines of a Jewish barrack, Szpilman appeals to Majorek to leverage his connections to facilitate his escape from the clutches of oppression.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Tension-filled plot development
  • Realistic portrayal of survival instincts
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Lack of character depth for supporting characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, emotional, and impactful, with a strong focus on survival and the lengths people will go to in order to escape the horrors of the ghetto.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of smuggling weapons in sacks of potatoes adds a layer of intrigue and danger to the scene, while also highlighting the resourcefulness and determination of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Szpilman's desperate attempt to escape the ghetto by smuggling weapons, adding tension and suspense to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on survival during wartime, with nuanced character motivations and ethical dilemmas that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters in the scene are driven by survival instincts and the desire to escape the horrors of the ghetto, showcasing their resilience and determination.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a subtle change in the scene as he takes a risky step towards escaping the ghetto, showing his determination and resourcefulness.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to escape the dangerous situation he is in and seek help from old friends to get out of the ghetto.

External Goal: 7.5

Szpilman's external goal is to distribute food to the Jewish workers and maintain a facade of normalcy while secretly planning his escape.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is both internal, as characters struggle with difficult decisions, and external, as they face the constant threat of violence and death.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal and external obstacles challenging Szpilman's goals and decisions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters risk their lives to escape the ghetto and survive the brutal conditions imposed by the Germans.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new plot development - the smuggling of weapons - that will likely have significant consequences for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and moral choices, keeping the audience on edge about Szpilman's fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around survival and morality, as Szpilman must navigate the ethical dilemmas of his actions to ensure his own survival.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene is highly emotional, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and anxiety as the characters navigate the harsh realities of life in the ghetto.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but serves to convey important information and emotions, such as Szpilman's request to Majorek for help in escaping.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense atmosphere, moral dilemmas, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in Szpilman's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of decision for Szpilman.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a wartime drama, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the characters' goals and conflicts, maintaining tension and pacing.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension considering the dangerous situation the characters are in. The pacing could be improved to create a more suspenseful atmosphere.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Majorek feels a bit flat and could benefit from more emotional depth or conflict to make the interaction more engaging.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional turmoil Szpilman is likely experiencing, given the context of the Holocaust. Adding more internal conflict or reflection could enhance the character development.
  • The transition between the different locations and actions in the scene could be smoother to improve the flow of the narrative.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and detailed to paint a clearer picture of the setting and the characters' actions.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more tension and urgency by emphasizing the risks and dangers the characters face in their situation.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Szpilman and Majorek by adding layers of emotion, conflict, or subtext to make the interaction more dynamic.
  • Explore Szpilman's internal struggles and emotional journey more deeply to add complexity to his character and engage the audience on a deeper level.
  • Work on the transitions between different locations and actions to ensure a seamless flow of the narrative without abrupt shifts.
  • Enrich the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid portrayal of the scene, enhancing the reader's experience.



Scene 24 -  Szpilman's Discovery
INT. STORES - DAY

Szpilman has unloaded the sacks of potatoes into the corner
and is kneeling, about to untie the string on the smallest
sack. A sound alerts him. He looks round.

An SS Lieutenant has entered the stores, sucking his finger,
which is bleeding.

SS LIEUTENANT
Any fucking plaster?

Szpilman immediately hurries to a cupboard, finds a First
Aid tin, removes a plaster and gives it to the SS
Lieutenant.

SS LIEUTENANT'S VOICE
(while he applies
the plaster to his
finger)
What were you up to?
(MORE)

Nothing from Szpilman.



8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
54.

SS LIEUTENANT'S VOICE
What the fuck are those?

He indicates the sacks with his chin.

SZPILMAN
(in German)
We're allowed to take food into
the ghetto. Five kilos of potatoes
and a...

The SS Lieutenant walks over to the sacks and kicks the
smallest one.

SS LIEUTENANT
Open it.

SZPILMAN
It's only potatoes and bread.

SS LIEUTENANT
Fuck that, you're lying, I can
smell it. Open it.

Szpilman tries to untie the string, but he's too terrified
and can't manage it. The SS Lieutenant shoves him out of
the way, then takes from his belt a dagger and cuts the
string.

The SS Lieutenant reaches in and withdraws a handful of
long yellow beans. He glowers at Szpilman, reaches in again,
produces a handful of oatmeal.

SS LIEUTENANT
You're all the same. Give a Jew a
little finger, he takes the whole
hand.

He throws the oatmeal in Szpilman's face.

SS LIEUTENANT
You lie to me again and I'll shoot
you personally.

He kicks Szpilman viciously and marches away. Szpilman
catches his breath, then quickly reaches into the bottom
of the sack and finds a pistol and ammunition. He hides
them under his clothes.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense encounter at a store, Szpilman is caught hiding food by an SS Lieutenant. Despite Szpilman's attempts to downplay his actions, the Lieutenant uncovers hidden beans and oatmeal, triggering threats and assault.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • High stakes and conflict
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, with a strong emotional resonance and a sense of urgency that keeps the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of betrayal and survival in the face of extreme adversity is well-executed, with a focus on the characters' resilience and determination.

Plot: 9

The plot is intense and gripping, with high stakes and a sense of urgency that drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of survival during wartime, with a focus on the moral choices and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions are palpable, adding depth to the scene and enhancing the overall impact.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo significant emotional turmoil and changes, particularly in the face of betrayal and survival, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal is to survive and protect himself in the face of danger and oppression. This reflects his deeper need for safety and security, as well as his fear of being caught and killed by the SS.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal is to hide the pistol and ammunition from the SS Lieutenant and avoid being caught with contraband. This reflects the immediate challenge of staying alive and out of harm's way.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the narrative forward, creating a sense of urgency and desperation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the SS Lieutenant representing a powerful and dangerous force that Szpilman must navigate and outwit. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and betrayals that add to the tension and urgency.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, with high stakes and intense conflict driving the narrative towards a crucial turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and choices made by the characters, as well as the shifting power dynamics and moral dilemmas.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization and cruelty of the Nazi regime towards Jewish people. It challenges Szpilman's beliefs in humanity and justice, as he is faced with violence and oppression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with fear, anger, and sadness palpable throughout, creating a powerful and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is tense and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions effectively and driving the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, moral dilemmas, and high stakes. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, as well as allowing for moments of reflection and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively creates tension and fear through the interaction between Szpilman and the SS Lieutenant, showcasing the power dynamics and danger faced by Szpilman.
  • The dialogue is impactful and conveys the brutality of the SS Lieutenant, adding to the sense of dread in the scene.
  • The physical actions of the characters, such as Szpilman's inability to untie the string due to fear and the SS Lieutenant's violent actions, enhance the intensity of the scene.
  • The discovery of the pistol and ammunition hidden in the sack of potatoes adds a layer of intrigue and sets up potential future conflicts or plot developments.
  • Overall, the scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of the wartime setting and the constant threat faced by the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman to further explore his fear and desperation in the face of the SS Lieutenant's aggression.
  • Enhance the physical descriptions of the setting to immerse the audience in the stores and convey the claustrophobic and tense environment.
  • Explore the aftermath of the discovery of the pistol and ammunition to show how it impacts Szpilman's actions and decisions moving forward.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing to build anticipation for future plot developments related to the hidden weapon.
  • Ensure that the resolution of this scene ties back to the overall narrative arc and contributes to the character development of Szpilman.



Scene 25 -  Defiance in the Face of Oppression
EXT. STREET LEADING TO GHETTO - NIGHT

Freezing cold. The Jewish workers, with their bundles of
potatoes and bread, march back towards the ghetto gates
escorted by the two Polish policemen. In the column,
Szpilman, near the policeman with the moustache, and a
little behind them, Majorek. Distant sounds of gunfire.

Majorek falls in beside Szpilman.




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MAJOREK
I tried your friends. They're not
at that address any more. But.

SZPILMAN
You made contact?

MAJOREK
Be ready to leave in two days'
time. Same place as last night.

Sudden, frantic cries from the head of the column, which
comes to a stop.

Two SS men, blind drunk, drinking vodka from bottles, are
lashing the column with whips. One of them is Zikk-Zack, .

SZPILMAN
Oh, shit!

As the SS men advance on Szpilman and Majorek's section,
Majorek slips back to his place in the column. Szpilman
hides his package inside his coat.

Zick-Zack lashes out at the workers blindly.

ZICK-ZACK
Und-zick! Und-zack!

He takes a swig of vodka and comes face to face with
Szpilman.

ZICK-ZACK
(shouting")
I'll soon teach you discipline!
Jew pigs!

He is staring directly at Szpilman with glassy eyes.
Szpilman is terrified, trying as surreptitiously as possible
to cover his hidden package with his hands. A moment of
danger. Zick-Zack grabs Szpilman by the cottar.

ZICK-ZACK
Know why we beat you?

No response; shaking him.

ZICK-ZACK
Know why we beat you?

SZPILMAN
(tentatively, in
German)
No. Why?

ZICK-ZACK
To celebrate New Year's Eve!
(MORE)

He and his comrade find this hilarious; recovering from
his laughter.



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ZICK-ZACK
Now, march! Go on, march!

The column starts to march. ....

ZICK-ZACK
And sing!
(he belches.)
Sing something cheerful!
(laughs.)
And sing it good and loud!

A brief silence, then from the back, a solo voice starts
to sing, 'Children of Warsaw will go to fight!'

Szpilman glances back, sees that it's Majorek singing.
Szpilman smiles, Majorek nods. Szpilman joins in. Now, so
do the others.

They march on, singing lustily.

ALL WORKERS
(singing)
Hey, ranks unite
And follow the White Eagle!
Stand up and fight
Our mortal enemy.
Riflemen, hey!
Let's give them fire and brimstone.
We'll blow away
The yoke of slavery.
Punish and rout
The rapists of our nation.
We'll smash the knout
To save our dignity.
Soon we'll be proud
Of our liberation -

Hey, take your sights!
Aim sharply at the heart.
Hey, load! Hey, shoot!
Hey, load! Hey, shoot!
Give 'em a bloody start!
Hey, load! Hey, shoot!
Aim sharply at the heart.

The column reaches the lamp posts near the ghetto gates.
Szpilman his package over the wall. So does Majorek.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary As Jewish workers are escorted to the ghetto, SS guards create chaos and target Szpilman. Despite the danger, the workers sing a patriotic song in defiance, reaching the ghetto gates and discreetly passing packages over the wall.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Resilience of characters
  • Tension and atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Sparse dialogue
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally charged, tense, and impactful, effectively conveying the harsh realities of the characters' situation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of resistance and resilience in the face of oppression is effectively portrayed through the actions and dialogue of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the characters face increasing danger and uncertainty, leading to a pivotal moment at the ghetto gates.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the horrors of war and oppression, focusing on the characters' resilience and defiance in the face of danger. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show depth and strength in their actions and interactions, adding layers to the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show resilience and defiance in the face of adversity, showcasing their growth and strength.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal is to survive and protect himself in the face of danger and oppression. His fear and desire for safety are reflected in his actions and reactions throughout the scene.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal is to navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in, avoid confrontation with the SS men, and successfully deliver his hidden package over the wall.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the Jewish workers and the SS guards creates a tense and dangerous atmosphere, adding to the stakes of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the SS men posing a significant threat to the characters and creating a sense of danger and urgency.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the threat of violence and death while trying to resist and survive in a hostile environment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the increasing danger and uncertainty faced by the characters, leading to a pivotal moment at the ghetto gates.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden appearance of the SS men, the tension of the confrontation, and the unexpected turn of the workers singing in defiance.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization and oppression of the Jewish workers by the SS men, contrasting with the workers' resilience and defiance through singing and unity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, defiance, and sorrow, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sparse but impactful, with the singing of the patriotic song serving as a powerful moment of defiance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense atmosphere, high stakes, and the characters' struggles and defiance in the face of danger.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting that enhance the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through the characters' actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the tense and fearful atmosphere as the Jewish workers are escorted back to the ghetto gates by Polish policemen while facing the threat of the SS men.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Majorek adds depth to their characters and highlights the risks they are willing to take to help each other.
  • The introduction of the drunk SS men, particularly Zick-Zack, intensifies the danger and fear faced by the workers, creating a sense of urgency and suspense.
  • The moment of danger when Zick-Zack confronts Szpilman is well-executed, showcasing the power dynamics and the brutality of the SS men towards the Jewish workers.
  • The transition from fear to defiance through the workers singing a patriotic song adds a powerful and emotional layer to the scene, symbolizing resilience and unity in the face of oppression.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman during the confrontation with Zick-Zack to further highlight his fear and determination to protect the hidden package.
  • Explore the dynamics between the workers and the SS men further to enhance the tension and showcase the workers' defiance in the face of adversity.
  • Provide more context or background information on Zick-Zack to deepen the impact of his actions and the fear he instills in the workers.
  • Consider incorporating visual cues or descriptions to enhance the setting and atmosphere of the scene, such as the cold night, the dimly lit street, and the contrasting emotions of fear and defiance.
  • Continue to build on the theme of resistance and resilience by exploring the workers' motivations and the significance of the patriotic song in the face of oppression.



Scene 26 -  Reunion and Rescue
INT./EXT. STORES AND BUILDING SITE - EVENING

The Jewish workers lined up to get their potatoes and bread.
Szpilman and two others weigh the potatoes.

GERMAN VOICES
Get on with it and fall in! Fall
in!

Calmly, Szpilman leaves the table with the scales, walks
past Majorek and the others, who, having got their potatoes,
are assembling in a column, preparing to march back into



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the ghetto. The Polish workers have packed up their tools
and are talking among themselves, also about to leave the
site but in a casual way.

The SS guards shout orders for the Jewish column to move
off. Szpilman seems as if he's going to join them, but at
the last moment turns and falls in with the Polish workers,
beside Barczak, who just glances at him then moves so that
Szpilman is in the middle of the group.

Szpilman slips off his armband, stuffs it into his pocket.

The group walk into the darkness.

EXT. WISNIOWA STREET - NIGHT

Dimly lit. Empty street. Szpilman walks fast to the corner,
stops, looks round anxiously. Nothing. He takes the armband
from his pocket and drops it through the grating of a drain
in the gutter just as there's movement in a darkened
doorway. Szpilman tenses.

Then, out of the darkness of the doorway, a woman: JANINA
GODLEWSKA.

She turns and starts to walk quickly. Szpilman, putting
the collar of his coat up, follows, keeping pace. A
pedestrian walks past in the opposite direction but pays
them no attention.

Janina and Szpilman walk on.

EXT. BOGUCKI BUILDING - NIGHT

Janina comes to the front door, opens it with a key, goes
in. Szpilman, a little distance behind, catches up and
follows her inside.

INT. HALL, STAIRS AND 3RD FLOOR, BOGUCKI BUILDING - NIGHT

Janina waits as Szpilman closes the front door, then starts
up the stairs. Szpilman follows. She stops, turns to him,
smiles, kisses him on the cheek, then continues up the
stairs.

INT. BOGUCKI APARTMENT - NIGHT

ANDRZEJ BOGUCKI, a handsome man, fortyish, tries to conceal
his sense of shock at seeing Szpilman He holds out his
hand and Szpilman shakes it.

Szpilman looks around the nicely furnished, large apartment.
He looks at Bogucki and Janina. Tears well up in his eyes.
He fights it hard, not to cry. So does Janina.

BOGUCKI
We haven't much time.




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Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of Warsaw, Szpilman sheds his Jewish armband and joins the Polish workers. He encounters Janina, who leads him to the Bogucki apartment. There, Andrzej Bogucki welcomes Szpilman, sharing a moment of emotional relief amidst the uncertainty.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and desperation of the characters while introducing a glimmer of hope for Szpilman. The tension is palpable, and the audience is left on edge wondering if Szpilman will be able to escape.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Szpilman attempting to escape the ghetto and finding unexpected help from Janina and Bogucki adds depth to the narrative. The scene introduces a new direction for the character and sets up potential future conflicts and resolutions.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Szpilman takes a risky step towards freedom, setting up potential consequences and conflicts. The scene introduces new characters and relationships that could impact the overall story.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of survival during wartime, with a focus on quiet moments of resistance and defiance. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Szpilman, Janina, and Bogucki, are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed. The interactions between the characters add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a subtle change in this scene as he takes a bold step towards freedom. His interactions with Janina and Bogucki hint at a shift in his outlook and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to resist the oppression and control of the SS guards and find a way to escape the ghetto. This reflects his deeper desire for freedom and survival.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal in this scene is to escape the ghetto and find safety. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as a Jewish worker under the control of the SS guards.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, as Szpilman faces the risk of being caught while attempting to escape. The tension between survival and danger drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the SS guards controlling the Jewish workers and Szpilman facing the challenge of escaping the ghetto. The audience is unsure of how Szpilman will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Szpilman risks his life to escape the ghetto. The potential consequences of being caught add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new direction for Szpilman's character and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions. The audience is left eager to see how Szpilman's escape attempt will unfold.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and decisions made by the characters, such as Szpilman's choice to join the Polish workers instead of the Jewish column.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the values of freedom and survival against oppression and control. Szpilman's actions challenge the SS guards' authority and reflect his belief in resistance and defiance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, fear, and hopelessness, as the characters navigate the harsh realities of their situation. The audience is emotionally invested in Szpilman's journey and the potential for escape.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and tensions between the characters. The conversations feel authentic and contribute to the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, subtle character interactions, and emotional depth. The audience is drawn into Szpilman's struggle for survival and freedom.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, as well as allowing for quiet moments of emotional depth and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The transition from the building site to the street could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in Szpilman's actions as he removes his armband and drops it down a drain. More emphasis on his internal struggle and decision-making process could add depth to his character.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Janina Godlewska feels rushed and could benefit from more development to establish their relationship and the significance of their meeting.
  • The emotional impact of Szpilman's reaction to being in the Bogucki apartment could be heightened by exploring his feelings more explicitly.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Bogucki could be more meaningful and revealing to provide insight into their characters and the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition scene to smoothly move from the building site to the street, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance Szpilman's internal conflict and decision-making process when removing his armband to add depth to his character.
  • Develop the interaction between Szpilman and Janina Godlewska to establish their relationship and the significance of their meeting.
  • Explore Szpilman's emotional response to being in the Bogucki apartment in more detail to convey the impact of the moment.
  • Revise the dialogue between Szpilman and Bogucki to make it more meaningful and revealing, providing insight into their characters and the situation.



Scene 27 -  Refuge Amidst Peril
INT. SMALL BATHROOM, BOGUCKI APARTMENT - NIGHT

Szpilman lies in a steaming bath, eyes closed, as though
he's in a trance.

A gentle knock on the door and Bogucki slips in with some
clothes. He gazes at Szpilman, whose eyes remain closed.

BOGUCKI
You must hurry.

Bogucki holds up a towel. Szpilman lifts himself out of
the bath and dries himself.

BOGUCKI
We're going to have to keep moving
you. The Germans are hunting down
indiscriminately now. Jews, non-
Jews, anybody, everybody.
(handing him the
clothes')
See if these fit. And, Wladek,
you'd better shave. Use my razor.
In the cabinet.

INT. LIVING ROOM, BOGUCKI APARTMENT - LATER

The ceramic stove. Szpilman's ghetto clothes, torn into
strips, are being stuffed into it and burned. Janina shoves
the strips of clothes into the stove. Szpilman, now wearing
Bogucki's suit and clean-shaven, watches the clothes burn
while he spoons hot soup into his mouth.

SZPILMAN
Thank you, I don't.

BOGUCKI
You'll be looked after by Mr
Gebczynski. He's on the other side
of town. You'll stay there tonight.
Then we'll find you somewhere else.

Janina adds the last strip of clothing.

JANINA
I'll bring you food.

BOGUCKI
Let's go.

EXT. WARSAW STREETS - NIGHT

A rickshaw carrying Szpilman and Bogucki travels along the
dark streets.

EXT. GEBCZYNSKI'S STORE - NIGHT

The rickshaw comes to a halt outside a store. The moment
it stops the shutters of the store are raised and Bogucki
escorts Szpilman to the door, then quickly returns to the
rickshaw, which moves off fast.



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INT. GEBCZYNSKI'S STORE - NIGHT

GEBCZNYSKI shakes hands with Szpilman, ushers him in and
then pulls down the shutter.

Gebczynski's store is for sanitary furnishings and supplies:
lavatories, basins, baths, taps etc.

GEBCZYNSKI
I'll show you where you're going
to sleep.

He leads the way and as he goes he picks up a cushion from
a chair and a blanket. Szpilman follows.

STAIRS TO BASEMENT:

Gebczynski leads Szpilman down the stairs.

BASEMENT STORE ROOM:

Dark, shadowy. Shelves with taps, washers, pipes. Gebczynski
leads the may to a particular set of shelves. He puts aside
the cushion and blanket, then starts to push at the shelves.
Szpilman, although puzzled, helps. Slowly, the shelves
move to reveal a secret compartment.

GEBCZYNSKI
It's not going to be very
comfortable.

SZPILMAN
I'll be fine.

GEBCZYNSKI
You'll have to stay here until
tomorrow afternoon.

He helps Szpilman into the compartment.

GEBCZYNSKI
We've got a flat for you. Near the
ghetto wall. But it's safe.

He hands over the cushion and the blanket to Szpilman;
then, putting his back to the shelves and his feet against
the wall, he pushes the shelves back into place so that
Szpilman is now hidden.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the depths of the Holocaust, Szpilman finds temporary sanctuary in Bogucki's apartment. Facing imminent danger, Szpilman is equipped with new attire and a razor, while Bogucki arranges his safekeeping with Gebczynski. With their compassionate assistance, Szpilman is concealed within a secret basement compartment, providing him a glimmer of hope amidst the unfolding horrors.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of survival
  • Emotionally impactful
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally charged, filled with tension and fear, and highlights the resilience and compassion of the characters. It effectively conveys the harsh reality of the Holocaust.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of hiding in plain sight to survive the Holocaust is well-executed. The scene effectively portrays the danger and uncertainty faced by the characters.

Plot: 9

The plot is intense and gripping, with the characters trying to evade capture and survive in a hostile environment. The stakes are high, and the tension keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its depiction of wartime survival and the characters' resourcefulness in finding safe hiding places. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and show a range of emotions, from fear to hope. Their interactions and decisions drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes as they adapt to their circumstances and show resilience in the face of danger. Their experiences shape their actions and decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to survive and evade the Germans who are hunting down people. His deeper need is to stay alive and find safety in a dangerous and uncertain world.

External Goal: 9

Szpilman's external goal is to find a safe place to stay and avoid being captured by the Germans. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of being hunted down and the challenges of survival during wartime.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with the characters facing imminent danger and having to make difficult choices to survive. The tension is high, keeping the audience on edge.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing the constant threat of being captured by the Germans. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will overcome this obstacle.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with the characters risking their lives to avoid detection by the Germans. The threat of capture and death looms large, adding urgency to their actions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showing the characters' attempts to survive and evade capture. It sets up future events and builds tension for the audience.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the characters' actions and the dangerous wartime setting create a sense of uncertainty and tension. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between life and death, safety and danger. Szpilman's beliefs and values are challenged by the harsh reality of the war and the need to make difficult choices to survive.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, from fear and sadness to hope and compassion. The characters' struggles and the harsh reality of the Holocaust are deeply affecting.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is realistic and conveys the characters' emotions and motivations effectively. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall storytelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it keeps the audience on edge with the characters' desperate situation and the constant threat of danger. The pacing and tension build effectively throughout.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and on edge as the characters navigate the dangerous wartime environment.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and suspense as the characters navigate the dangerous wartime environment.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension considering the dangerous situation Szpilman is in. The dialogue and actions feel somewhat casual and detached, which doesn't align with the imminent threat of being hunted down by the Germans.
  • There is a missed opportunity to build suspense and create a more gripping atmosphere as Szpilman prepares to move to a new hiding place. The emotional weight of the situation could be better conveyed through the characters' interactions and reactions.
  • The transition from the bath scene to the burning of Szpilman's clothes feels abrupt and disjointed. More seamless transitions could help maintain the flow of the scene and enhance the emotional impact of Szpilman's actions.
  • The setting and visuals could be utilized more effectively to create a sense of danger and urgency. By enhancing the descriptions of the dark streets, the store, and the secret compartment, the audience could better feel the tension and fear Szpilman is experiencing.
  • The emotional depth of the characters, especially Szpilman, could be further explored to connect the audience with the gravity of the situation. Adding more internal monologue or subtle gestures could help convey Szpilman's fear and determination to survive.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue to reflect the heightened stakes and urgency of Szpilman's situation. Use more impactful language and emotional exchanges to convey the characters' fear and desperation.
  • Enhance the pacing of the scene by building tension gradually as Szpilman prepares to move to a new hiding place. Create a sense of impending danger and suspense to keep the audience engaged.
  • Improve the transitions between different moments in the scene to ensure a smooth flow of events. Connect the emotional beats more effectively to maintain the audience's emotional investment in Szpilman's journey.
  • Utilize the setting and visuals to enhance the atmosphere of danger and uncertainty. Describe the surroundings in a way that evokes a sense of fear and urgency, immersing the audience in Szpilman's perilous situation.
  • Focus on developing the emotional depth of the characters, particularly Szpilman, to make their struggles and resilience more relatable and impactful. Show internal conflicts and vulnerabilities to humanize the characters and draw the audience into their experiences.



Scene 28 -  Hidden Arsenal
INT. SECRET COMPARTMENT - NIGHT

In the cramped space, Szpilman is not quite able to stretch
full out. With difficulty, he puts the cushion behind his
head, starts to cover himself with the blanket but stops,
seeing something.

In niches, neatly stacked: rifles, pistols, grenades,
ammunition

Szpilman stares, expressionless.




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60.

EXT. TRAM STOP, WARSAW STREET - AFTERNOON

Szpilman and Gebczynski wait with others at the stop as
the tram trundles towards them and comes to a halt.

As they board:

GEBCZYNSKI
(quietly, to Szpilman)
Go as near to the front as possible,
to the German section.

INT. TRAM (TRAVELLING) - AFTERNOON

Gebczynski and Szpilman apprehensive, push through the
rear section, packed with Poles, seated and standing, until
they reach a chain and a sign:

GERMANS ONLY

In the German section, only three or four passengers. Some
read newspapers, others stare into space or out of the
windows, but never looking at the Poles.

Szpilman tries to appear as inconspicuous as possible. The
tram rumbles on its way.

INT. 1ST APARTMENT, 4TH FLOOR LANDING AND DOOR - AFTERNOON

Gebczynski and Szpilman come up the stairs to the landing
and to a door. Gebczynski unlocks the door and they go in.

INT./EXT. 1ST APARTMENT, 4TH FLOOR, AND GHETTO - AFTERNOON

A charmingly furnished bed-sitting room with a comfortable
divan. Gebczynski leads the way in. Szpilman glances around,
goes to the window, looks out.

SZPILMAN'S POV:

He can see a section of ghetto wall below. Beyond it, inside
the ghetto, a narrow street leading to deserted buildings.
Gebczynski comes up behind him.

GEBCZYNSKI
Must feel better this side of the
wall.

SZPILMAN
Yes, but sometimes I'm still not
sure which side of the wall I'm
on.

GEBCZYNSKI
Here.
(MORE)

He leads Szpilman to the small kitchen.

Gebczynski opens a cupboard to reveal potatoes, bread.




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GEBCZYNSKI
I'll come again. And Janina Bogucki
will visit twice a week. Bring
more food. See how you are.

He closes the cupboard.

THE MAIN ROOM.

Gebczynski makes for the front door, stops.

GEBCZYNSKI
Yes, now, this is very important.
In case of emergency, I mean
emergency, go to this address.

He hands over a scrap of paper, shakes Szpilman's hand and
goes quickly.

Alone, Szpilman stands, lost for a moment. Then, he takes
off his shoe and stuffs the scrap of paper into it. While
he does so, his eyes light on the divan bed.

He goes to it, slips off his other shoe and lies down,
testing the divan's springiness with his whole body.

He smiles beatifically. He shuts his eyes and is instantly
asleep.
Genres: ["War","Drama","Historical"]

Summary Szpilman uncovers a secret compartment filled with weapons, leaving him expressionless as he contemplates their significance.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing concept of hidden compartment
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and emotional impact of the characters' situation, with a strong focus on tension and desperation. The introduction of the hidden compartment adds an element of danger and intrigue, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the hidden compartment with weapons adds depth to the scene, highlighting the characters' need for survival and the risks they face in a war-torn environment.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is driven by the characters' struggle for survival and the dangerous circumstances they find themselves in. The introduction of the hidden compartment adds a new layer of complexity to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the wartime setting, focusing on the personal struggles and internal conflicts of the characters rather than grandiose action sequences. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are portrayed as determined, fearful, and resigned to their fate. Their interactions and reactions to the situation add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' emotions and reactions evolve as they face new challenges and dangers.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to find a sense of peace and security amidst the chaos of war. His desire for safety and stability is reflected in his actions and expressions throughout the scene.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to navigate the dangerous streets and tram rides of Warsaw while avoiding detection by the Germans. His actions and interactions with Gebczynski reflect his need to blend in and stay safe in a hostile environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is both internal, as the characters struggle with fear and determination, and external, as they face the dangers of wartime and oppression.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external threats and challenges that test their resolve and resourcefulness. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters are in a life-threatening situation and must navigate the dangers of wartime and oppression. The hidden compartment with weapons raises the stakes even further.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the characters' struggle for survival and introducing new elements, such as the hidden compartment with weapons. It adds complexity to the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the constant threat of danger and the characters' uncertain fate in a war-torn environment. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of identity and belonging. Szpilman struggles with the concept of being on the 'right' side of the wall, questioning his own sense of self and place in the world amidst the turmoil of war.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and determination in the audience. The characters' plight and the tense atmosphere contribute to the emotional depth of the scene.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but effective in conveying the characters' emotions and the tense atmosphere. The silence and actions speak volumes in this context.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it effectively builds tension and suspense through the characters' interactions and the unfolding of the plot. The emotional depth and complexity of the characters' experiences draw the audience in and keep them invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and coherent structure, moving seamlessly between different locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the characters' emotions and motivations.


Critique
  • The discovery of the hidden compartment filled with weapons is a significant moment in the screenplay, symbolizing the escalating danger and violence of the war. However, the impact of this discovery could be heightened by delving deeper into Szpilman's emotional reaction. Currently, his expressionless stare doesn't fully convey the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition from the intense confrontation with the SS Lieutenant to the tram stop scene feels a bit abrupt. There could be a smoother transition to maintain the tension and flow of the narrative.
  • The scene at the tram stop provides a sense of unease and danger, but the emotional weight of Szpilman's situation could be further emphasized. Adding internal thoughts or reactions from Szpilman could enhance the audience's connection to his character.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Gebczynski in the apartment lacks depth. Developing their relationship and dialogue could add layers to their dynamic and make the scene more engaging.
  • The ending of the scene, with Szpilman smiling beatifically and falling asleep, feels slightly disconnected from the overall tone of danger and uncertainty. Consider ending on a note that maintains the tension and suspense of Szpilman's situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of internal reflection for Szpilman upon discovering the weapons, to convey the weight of the situation.
  • Work on smoother transitions between scenes to maintain the narrative flow and tension.
  • Enhance Szpilman's emotional journey by incorporating his internal thoughts and reactions throughout the scene.
  • Develop the interaction between Szpilman and Gebczynski to deepen their relationship and add complexity to the scene.
  • Reconsider the ending of the scene to ensure it aligns with the overall tone and themes of the screenplay.



Scene 29 -  The Argument
INT./EXT. 1ST APARTMENT - DAY

Szpilman still fast asleep. Voices wake him. He opens his
eyes. He's not certain where he is for a moment.

He hears the voices again, coming from the adjoining flat.

Intrigued, he rises, goes closer to the watt, puts his ear
against it, listens. After a brief silence:

KITTEN'S VOICE
(angry)
Puppydog, what d'you mean, you
forgot?

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
What d'you think I mean, Kitten? I
forgot, that's what I mean.

KITTEN'S VOICE
You know what? You treat me like
dirt!

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
I treat you like dirt because you
are dirt.

KITTEN'S VOICE
Pig!

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
Cow!



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KITTEN'S VOICE
Pig!

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
Bitch!

KITTEN'S VOICE
Dirty pig!

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
You're a dirty pig!

KITTEN'S VOICE
Takes one to know one! Pig!

Silence. Szpilman is enjoying himself.

Then the sound of a piano being played with great feeling
but a lot of wrong notes.

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
You play like an angel, Kitten.

The piano continues for a moment, but suddenly stops:

KITTEN'S VOICE
If I play like an angel, why don't
you listen?

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
I was listening, Kitten.

KITTEN'S VOICE
Liar, you fell asleep. Pig!

A door slams.

PUPPYDOG'S VOICE
(wheedling)
Kitten, let me in.

Silence. Szpilman smiles but then hears the sound of rifle
shots and a huge explosion.

He crosses quickly to the window, looks out.

SZPILMAN'S POV - THE GHETTO.

Deserted. Stillness. Silence. From the ghetto smoke drifting
slowly.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Szpilman eavesdrops on a childish argument between Kitten and Puppydog. The argument escalates, and as Kitten continues to insult Puppydog, he attempts to apologize and reconcile. Amidst their argument, the sound of gunfire and an explosion interrupts them. Szpilman looks out the window to see smoke rising from the abandoned ghetto below.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional impact
  • High stakes
  • Realistic portrayal of war
Weaknesses
  • Possible lack of character growth in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and sets a tense and desperate tone for the story. The dialogue adds depth to the characters and the conflict, making it a compelling and memorable scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing a domestic argument with the horrors of war is powerful and effectively conveys the harsh reality faced by the characters. The scene also introduces high stakes and conflict, driving the narrative forward.

Plot: 9

The plot is intense and gripping, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and making difficult decisions. The scene moves the story forward significantly and sets up important developments for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the horrors of war through the lens of a domestic argument, adding a layer of complexity and irony to the narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed. The dialogue reveals their personalities and relationships, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there may not be significant character changes in this scene, the intense situations and emotional turmoil experienced by the characters could lead to potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to find a moment of peace or distraction from the chaos and violence surrounding him. This reflects his deeper need for normalcy and connection in a time of turmoil.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to survive the war and the dangers of the ghetto. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and making difficult decisions. The tension and desperation are palpable, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters engaging in a heated argument that escalates the conflict and sets the stage for the impending danger of the war-torn environment. The uncertainty of the situation adds to the opposition rating.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and making difficult decisions. The tension and desperation add urgency and intensity to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up important developments for the characters and advancing the plot. The high stakes and intense conflict drive the narrative forward with urgency.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden shift from a domestic argument to the sound of rifle shots and explosions, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash of values and communication breakdown between the characters. The insults and accusations exchanged challenge Szpilman's beliefs about human nature and relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and anger in the audience. The characters' struggles and the harsh realities of war are portrayed with intensity and depth.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, emotional, and realistic, capturing the tension and desperation of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the conflict and emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense conflict and suspense created by the sharp dialogue and the looming threat of violence. The dynamic between the characters and the setting of the war-torn ghetto captivate the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment with the sound of rifle shots and explosions. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences contributes to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with distinct character cues and action lines that enhance the pacing and rhythm of the dialogue. It follows the expected format for a screenplay set in a war setting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the escalating tension and conflict between the characters, leading to a dramatic climax with the sound of rifle shots and explosions. It follows the expected format for a dramatic scene set in a war-torn environment.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Kitten and Puppydog feels a bit cliched and lacks depth. It comes across as overly dramatic and unrealistic.
  • The sudden shift from the argument to the piano playing seems abrupt and disconnected, making the scene feel disjointed.
  • The characterization of Kitten and Puppydog is one-dimensional, with their interactions revolving solely around insults and name-calling.
  • The scene lacks a clear purpose or direction, leaving the reader wondering about its relevance to the overall story.
  • The transition from the argument to the sound of rifle shots and an explosion feels jarring and could be smoother.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the characters of Kitten and Puppydog by exploring their motivations and emotions beyond just insults.
  • Create a stronger connection between the argument and the sound of rifle shots to enhance the tension and build a more cohesive narrative.
  • Introduce a clearer objective or conflict within the scene to drive the story forward and engage the audience.
  • Focus on developing a more organic and realistic dialogue that reflects the complexities of human relationships.
  • Consider revising the pacing of the scene to ensure a smoother transition between different moments and events.



Scene 30 -  Witnessing the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising
INT./EXT. 1ST APARTMENT - EARLY MORNING

Szpilman asleep on the divan. The roar of motor car and
motorcycle engines. Sporadic firing.

He wakes, rushes to the window.

SZPILMAN'S POV:




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A German personnel carrier, an open car carrying officers,
and a motorcycle and sidecar roar down the narrow street
below towards the buildings at the far end. German soldiers
follow behind on the trot, pulling a field gun.

Unseen marksmen fire down on the Germans from the buildings.
As the German soldiers dismount from their vehicles one of
them is hit and falls. The others rush for cover.

EXT. INSIDE THE GHETTO - MINUTES LATER - EARLY MORNING

The German Commander and two officers alight from the car
and take cover.

The Commander orders the field gun to be trained on the
buildings. Spasmodic firing continues.

He gives the order to fire.

The gun roars. The shell tears into the building. At once
the German soldiers open fire with their rifles and lob
grenades into the building. The gun fires again.

The building begins to burn. Flames and smoke.

German soldiers with flame-throwers advance carefully then
unleash their fire into doorways and windows, and quickly
retreat.

At ground level, Jewish fighters try to fight their way
out and are mowed down.

The fire spreads quickly through the building. Smoke begins
to pour from the upper floors.

The Germans, less cautious now, stand and watch.

A woman struggles out on to her narrow third-floor balcony.
She climbs over, holds on to the wrought-iron railings and
hangs on for dear life. Shots ring out and she drops like
a stone.

From inside the building, screams and shouts.

From another upper window, a man in flames jumps and falls
to his death on the pavement below.

The Germans have stopped firing. They stand, spectators,
watching the building burn.

INT./EXT. 1ST APARTMENT - LATER - DAY

Szpilman at the window, watching, his mood downcast.

The noise of a key in the door.

He turns to see the door of the flat open. Janina enters
with a parcel of food. She kisses Szpilman on the cheek.

JANINA
wanted to come earlier but...



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She hands him the parcel.

SZPILMAN
Thank you.

He goes into the small kitchen and unpacks the contents
while Janina gazes out of the window.

JANINA
No one thought they'd hold out so
long.

SZPILMAN
should never have come out. I
should've stayed there, fought
with them.

JANINA
(turning to him)
Wladek, stop that. It's over now.
Just be proud it happened. My God,
did they put up a fight.

SZPILMAN
Yes, so did the Germans.

JANINA
They're in shock. They didn't expect
it. Nobody expected it. Jews
fighting back? Who'd have thought?

SZPILMAN
Yes, but what good did it do?

JANINA
(passionate)
What good? Wladek, I'm surprised
at you. They died with dignity,
that's what good it did. And you
know something else? Now the Poles
will rise. We're ready. We'll fight,
too. You'll see.

she turns to look again out of the window.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary As the Warsaw Ghetto uprising rages outside his window, Szpilman bears witness to the brutal German suppression. Despite the valiant efforts of Jewish fighters, they are overcome by flamethrowers and artillery. Szpilman's heart sinks amidst the devastation, while Janina arrives with food and praises the fighters' bravery, predicting Polish resistance in response to the atrocities.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Strong character development
  • Intense conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes of violence may be difficult for sensitive viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the horrors of war and the strength of the human spirit.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of resistance and resilience in the face of overwhelming oppression is central to the scene, driving the actions and emotions of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot is intense and engaging, with a clear focus on the battle in the ghetto and its aftermath, providing a strong narrative arc.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of war and the complexities of resistance, with authentic and nuanced character interactions that feel true to the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, from moments of despair to moments of defiance and determination.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his feelings of guilt and regret for not joining the Jewish fighters in their resistance. It reflects his deeper need for redemption and his fear of being seen as a coward.

External Goal: 9

Szpilman's external goal is to survive the ongoing conflict and find a way to contribute to the resistance movement. It reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the dangerous and volatile situation in the ghetto.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and high-stakes, with characters facing life-and-death situations and making difficult choices.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the German forces posing a formidable threat to the Jewish fighters and creating a sense of danger and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with characters facing life-threatening situations and making crucial decisions that will shape their fates.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the impact of the battle on the characters and setting the stage for future events in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden and shocking events that unfold, keeping the audience on edge and uncertain about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the idea of fighting for dignity and pride in the face of oppression, as represented by Janina, and the futility of resistance in the face of overwhelming force, as felt by Szpilman. This challenges Szpilman's beliefs about the value of resistance and the consequences of his choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, from sadness and despair to hope and resilience, leaving a lasting impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and emotional, capturing the characters' struggles and determination in the face of adversity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and gripping depiction of wartime violence and human drama, drawing the audience into the emotional turmoil of the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted to build tension and suspense, with a dynamic rhythm that propels the action forward and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene adheres to the conventions of screenplay format, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue cues that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a war drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the brutal suppression of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising, showcasing the intense violence and destruction inflicted by the German soldiers.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene are vivid and impactful, painting a grim picture of the chaos and tragedy unfolding in the ghetto.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Janina provides insight into their contrasting perspectives on the uprising, adding depth to their characters and the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys the sense of loss, despair, and defiance felt by the Jewish fighters in the face of overwhelming odds.
  • The use of sound effects, such as gunfire and explosions, enhances the tension and realism of the scene, immersing the audience in the harrowing events.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from Szpilman to further convey his inner turmoil and conflicting emotions during the uprising.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating flashbacks or memories to provide additional context and depth to Szpilman's character and his connection to the events unfolding in the ghetto.
  • Introduce more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene, such as the smell of smoke, the sound of distant cries, or the taste of fear in the air.
  • Focus on building tension and suspense throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and emotionally invested in the outcome of the uprising.
  • Consider exploring the aftermath of the uprising and its impact on Szpilman and Janina to provide closure and resolution to their story arcs.



Scene 31 -  A Perilous Escape
EXT. INSIDE THE GHETTO - EVENING

The building burning. Corpses lie scattered on the pavement.
The Germans stand about chatting and laughing.

A handful of Jewish fighters are lined up and shot.

Satisfied, the Commander returns to his car. Another officer
confers with him before the engine starts up and he is
driven away. The building burns.

EXT. 1ST APARTMENT, SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Blazing sun. The ghetto buildings now burned-out shells,
the street empty.




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EXT. 1ST APARTMENT - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Autumn leaves falling and gusting in the wind. Szpilman
gazes out.

EXT./INT. 1ST APARTMENT - DAY

Snow. Ice on the windows.

The sound of the key in the door.

Szpilman turns as the door opens and Gebczynski enters,
distraught. Whispered, at speed:

GEBCZYNSKI
Get your things together, you have
to leave!

SZPILMAN
What's happened?

Gebczynski takes out a cigarette and lights it. While he
does so:

GEBCZYNSKI
I'm on the run!

SZPILMAN
What's happened?

GEBCZYNSKI
The Gestapo found our weapons.
They've arrested Janina and Andrzej.
They're bound to find out about
this place, too - you must get
away at once.

SZPILMAN
Where do you want me to go? Look
at me. No, no, I'm not leaving.
Can't I take my chances here?

GEBCZYNSKI
That's your decision.
(Stubs out cigarette.)
But when they storm the flat, throw
yourself out of die window - don't
let them get you alive. I have
poison on me, they won't get me
alive either!

And he goes. Szpilman listens to his footsteps clattering
down the stairs.

He sees the cigarette stub, takes it, lights it, coughs,
smokes awkwardly.

Later:




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Szpilman hears a car engine and the screech of brakes. He
tenses. German voices shouting and their heavy footsteps
on the stairs.

He goes to the window, opens it. He gets a chair, places
it sideways in front of the window to make a step. He's
working out how best to throw himself out.

He leans against the wall near the door and waits..

Slamming of doors, German shouts, a scream.

Szpilman steels himself, ready to jump.

Again footsteps on the stairs, but this time descending. A
door slams.

He cautiously goes to the window and looks out.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary In the heart of the Warsaw Ghetto, amidst the horrifying scene of the burning ghetto and scattered corpses, Jewish fighter Szpilman faces a life-altering decision. Warned by Gebczynski that the Gestapo has discovered their weapons and arrested his comrades, Szpilman must choose between fleeing or staying in his apartment. After hearing German voices on the stairs, he realizes the imminent danger and prepares to jump out the window. However, the German footsteps descend, leaving Szpilman in a state of suspense as he cautiously looks out the window to see the Germans leaving.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of war
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character interaction

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the horrors of war and the emotional turmoil of the characters, creating a tense and gripping atmosphere that keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the aftermath of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising and the characters' struggle for survival, is well-executed and impactful.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is intense and gripping, with high stakes and emotional depth that drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of war and the moral dilemmas faced by individuals in extreme circumstances. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions and actions are realistic and compelling, adding depth to the overall story.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in the scene, as they are forced to confront the harsh realities of war and make difficult choices.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal is to survive and protect himself in the face of danger and persecution. This reflects his deeper need for self-preservation and his fear of being captured or killed by the Germans.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal is to evade capture by the Gestapo and survive the ongoing conflict in the ghetto. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the need to protect himself from the German forces.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing life-threatening situations and making difficult decisions to survive.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing imminent danger and difficult choices that challenge his beliefs and values.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, with characters facing imminent danger and life-threatening situations that will have a profound impact on their lives.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, showing the aftermath of the uprising and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it keeps the audience on edge, unsure of the outcome and the protagonist's fate as he navigates the dangerous situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of life and the choice between surrendering to fate or fighting for survival. Gebczynski's advice to Szpilman to take his own life rather than be captured challenges Szpilman's beliefs about the value of life and the importance of resistance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of fear, sadness, and empathy for the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and tension, drawing the audience into the protagonist's dilemma and the high-stakes situation he faces.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's plight.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of scene descriptions and dialogue to create a sense of urgency and danger.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of decision for the protagonist.


Critique
  • The scene effectively sets a tense and suspenseful tone with the burning building, corpses, and German soldiers chatting and laughing amidst the chaos.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene, such as the blazing sun, fallen leaves, and snow, create a vivid and atmospheric setting that enhances the mood of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Gebczynski is impactful, conveying the urgency and danger of the situation they are in.
  • The internal conflict within Szpilman, as he grapples with the decision to leave or stay and face the consequences, adds depth to his character and the scene.
  • The use of sound cues, like the car engine, screeching brakes, and German voices, heightens the tension and suspense as Szpilman prepares to escape.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Szpilman's internal struggle, showcasing his fear, determination, and resilience in the face of danger.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating Szpilman's thoughts or memories to provide insight into his mindset and motivations during this critical moment.
  • Enhance the visual imagery of the scene to further immerse the audience in the harrowing reality of Szpilman's situation, emphasizing the contrast between the external chaos and internal turmoil.
  • Experiment with different camera angles and lighting techniques to visually capture Szpilman's internal conflict and the external threats he faces, enhancing the overall cinematic impact of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating subtle cues or foreshadowing elements that hint at Szpilman's eventual survival and resilience, adding layers of complexity to his character arc.



Scene 32 -  Szpilman's Escape and Dorota's Reunion
INT./EXT. 1ST APARTMENT - DAY

SZPILMAN'S POV - THE STREET.

In the street below, he sees SS men escorting two prisoners
and shoving into a car. The car speeds off. The street is
empty.

INT. 1ST APARTMENT - DUSK

Snow. Howling wind.

Szpilman lies on the divan. He is cold, unshaven, hair
filthy and long. He manages to rise.

THE SMALL KITCHEN.

A mess. Szpilman goes into the kitchen. From a bread tin
he takes a small, flat greaseproof paper parcel and unwraps
it. A slice of bread, stale and mouldy. He tries to bite
it but can't. He finds a knife and tries to chop a piece
off the bread but knocks the bread tin, which falls to the
floor with a clatter.

He continues to try to cut the bread, when there's a loud
hammering on the front door.

Szpilman stiffens.

THE LIVING ROOM.

The hammering continues as Szpilman stumbles into the room,
looks around, confused, not knowing what to do.

From the other side of the door female voices, words
indistinct, and then:

KITTY'S VOICE
Open this door at once, or we'll
call the police!




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He is galvanised into action, puts on a crumpled jacket,
grabs his tattered coat and scarf, collects up a few of
his things, stuffs them into a paper bag.

The hammering stops. Szpilman cautiously approaches the
door, listens, then opens it quietly and slips out.

INT. 1ST APARTMENT, LANDING AND DOOR - DUSK

He slips out of the flat, goes to the stairs and stops
dead. KITTY, young and fierce, stands on the stairs,
blocking his way.

KITTY
Are you from the flat in there?
You're not registered.

SZPILMAN
It belongs to a friend of mine. I
came to visit but I must have just
missed him.

KITTY
(shouting)
Have you got your identity card?
Let me see your identity card!

Szpilman hesitates; she shouts more loudly.

KITTY
I want to see your identity card!

On various floors, doors open, tenants put their heads out
to see what's going on.

Summoning all his strength, Szpilman makes a dash for it,
pushing past Kitty.

KITTY
(screeching)
He's a Jew! He's a Jew! Stop the
Jew! Don't let him out!

Szpilman clatters down the stairs, reaches the ground-floor
landing. Another woman tries to bar his way but he pushes
past her and out of the house.

EXT. STREET - EVENING

Heavy snow. Szpilman stumbles into the street and runs. He
darts down a side street.

EXT. SIDE STREET - EVENING

Szpilman lurches into the narrow street. No one about. He
stops, almost collapses, but manages to keep hold of
himself. He puts on his coat and wraps the scarf round his
neck. He leans up against a wall.

He removes a shoe and takes out the scrap of paper
Gebczynski gave him. He reads it.



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EXT. NARBUTT STREET - NIGHT

Szpilman drags himself along, trudging through snow and
slush. Passers-by give him a wide berth. He tries to walk
normally, with dignity, but he's weak and slips, and finds
the going hard.

He comes to a villa.

INT. VILLA, NARBUTT STREET - NIGHT

He goes to the front door, rings the bell and waits.

WOMAN'S VOICE
(from behind the
door)
Yes?

SZPILMAN
Mr Gebczynski sent me.

The door opens and Dorota stands there. She is pregnant.

They stand for a moment staring at each other.

DOROTA
(a whisper)
Wladyslaw Szpilman.

SZPILMAN
Dorota.

DOROTA
Come in! come in!
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary From his apartment, Szpilman observes SS men taking prisoners. Kitty confronts him and exposes his identity as a Jew. Szpilman escapes the building and finds refuge at a villa. Dorota, who is pregnant, recognizes Szpilman and invites him in.
Strengths
  • Intense tension
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Gripping plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes, tension, and emotional turmoil faced by the protagonist, keeping the audience engaged and invested in his plight.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a desperate escape in a war-torn setting is well-executed, with the snow and howling wind adding to the sense of danger and urgency.

Plot: 9

The plot of the protagonist trying to evade capture and escape from danger is gripping and drives the scene forward with a sense of urgency.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges faced by individuals during wartime, with a focus on the personal struggles of the protagonist. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Szpilman and Kitty, are well-developed and their interactions heighten the tension and stakes of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a change from confusion and hesitation to determination and resolve as he decides to make a run for it to avoid capture.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is survival and escape. He is cold, hungry, and in danger, reflecting his deeper need for safety and freedom.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to evade capture and find safety. This reflects the immediate challenge of avoiding detection and persecution.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Szpilman and Kitty, as well as the overarching conflict of evading capture in a war-torn environment, creates a high level of tension and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters like Kitty and other tenants posing obstacles to the protagonist's escape, creating a sense of danger and urgency.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are extremely high in this scene, as Szpilman's life is in danger and he must evade capture to survive.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by showing Szpilman's desperate escape attempt and the escalating danger he faces.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the protagonist's actions and the reactions of other characters keep the audience guessing about the outcome, adding to the tension and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between survival and morality. Szpilman must make difficult choices to ensure his own survival, even if it means lying or deceiving others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, eliciting feelings of fear, sadness, and determination as Szpilman struggles to escape.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue, particularly Kitty's demands to see Szpilman's identity card, adds to the tension and urgency of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and danger, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats as they root for the protagonist to escape.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual buildup of tension and suspense that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue that enhance the pacing and tension of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and logical structure, with a buildup of tension and suspense leading to a climactic moment of escape. It effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external goals.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the sense of urgency and danger that Szpilman is facing as he tries to evade capture by the SS men and Kitty. The tension is palpable as he frantically tries to escape from his apartment.
  • The use of visual and auditory cues, such as the howling wind, the stale bread, and the hammering on the door, helps to create a vivid and immersive atmosphere for the audience.
  • The character of Kitty adds an element of suspense and conflict to the scene, as her aggressive behavior and accusations heighten the stakes for Szpilman.
  • The transition from the interior of the apartment to the exterior street setting is well executed, providing a sense of movement and progression in the narrative.
  • The introduction of Dorota at the end of the scene adds a new layer of intrigue and sets up potential future developments in the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or physical reactions from Szpilman to further emphasize his fear and desperation in the face of danger.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more sensory details, such as the cold snow, the sound of footsteps, and the visual cues of Szpilman's physical state, to enhance the immersive quality of the scene.
  • Develop the interaction between Szpilman and Kitty to further heighten the tension and showcase Szpilman's resourcefulness in evading capture.
  • Provide more context or background information on Dorota to establish her relationship with Szpilman and create a stronger emotional connection between the characters.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing elements that hint at future plot developments or character arcs to keep the audience engaged and intrigued.



Scene 33 -  Seeking Shelter in the Storm
INT. DOROTA'S VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman follows Dorota into the living room.

DOROTA
Sit.

SZPILMAN
I'm sorry - I was given this
address. I'm looking for a Mr--
(He checks the scrap
of paper.')
-- a Mr Dzikiewicz.

DOROTA
(nodding)
Michal Dzikiewicz. He's my husband.

Szpilman sits down slowly.

SZPILMAN
I need help.

DOROTA
He'll be back before curfew.




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SZPILMAN
I've been in hiding. I need
somewhere to stay.

DOROTA
He'll be here soon.

Awkward silence. He gazes at her. She looks away.

SZPILMAN
How long have you been married?

DOROTA
Just over a year.

He nods. Brief silence.

SZPILMAN
And how's Yurek?

DOROTA
Dead.

Again, the awkward silence.

SZPILMAN
When's your baby due?

DOROTA
Christmas.
(A pause.)
This is not a good time to have
children. But then...

The door opens and Michal Dzikiewicz enters. He sees
Szpilman and stops. Szpilman stands.

DOROTA
This is my husband. Wladyslaw
Szpilman. Marek Gebczynski sent
him.

MICHAL
Oh, yes. I remember.

He shakes hands with Szpilman.

SZPILMAN
Mr Gebczynski said to contact you
only in an emergency, but...

MICHAL
Don't worry now. We can't move you
tonight.

Szpilman, dizzy, leans on the table for support.

MICHAL
You'll sleep on the sofa.

He and Dorota look at him.



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SZPILMAN
Excuse me, could I have a piece of
bread?

MICHAL
Yes, of course, we'll eat.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Hunted and desperate, Szpilman seeks refuge from Dorota and her husband Michal. Despite the risks, they agree to help him for the night, offering solace amidst the turmoil of war.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling character interactions
  • Realistic portrayal of wartime struggles
Weaknesses
  • Awkward silences
  • Lack of action sequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful, emotionally charged, and effectively conveys the harsh realities of the characters' circumstances. The dialogue is poignant, and the interactions between the characters are compelling.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of seeking refuge in a time of crisis is well-executed, highlighting the importance of human compassion and solidarity in the face of adversity.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly as Szpilman seeks shelter and encounters new characters, setting the stage for further developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of survival during wartime, with authentic dialogue and realistic character interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal depth and complexity, adding layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Szpilman undergoes a subtle transformation as he seeks shelter and encounters new allies, showcasing his adaptability and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to find safety and shelter after being in hiding. This reflects his deeper need for survival and security in a dangerous world.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to find a place to stay and avoid being caught by authorities. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from the characters' personal struggles to the larger backdrop of war and persecution.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Szpilman faces obstacles in finding shelter and safety, with uncertain outcomes and high stakes.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters navigate the dangers of war and persecution, seeking shelter and safety amidst chaos and uncertainty.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges and alliances, setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' conversations and the uncertain outcome of Szpilman's situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the juxtaposition of life and death, hope and despair. Szpilman's need for safety and shelter clashes with the harsh reality of war and loss.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, drawing them into the characters' experiences and hardships.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and serves to deepen the emotional resonance of the scene, conveying the characters' inner struggles and hopes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tense atmosphere, emotional stakes, and the characters' compelling interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed pauses and moments of emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension considering the dire circumstances Szpilman is in. The dialogue feels somewhat disconnected from the gravity of the situation.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into Szpilman's emotional state and the trauma he has experienced. More exploration of his internal struggles and fears could add depth to the scene.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and Dorota feels somewhat superficial and lacks emotional depth. Their conversation about mundane topics like marriage and pregnancy does not fully capture the intensity of the situation.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual and sensory details to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and immerse the audience in the setting.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit slow, considering the urgency of Szpilman's need for help and shelter. Tightening the dialogue and adding more tension could enhance the overall impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Szpilman's character by exploring his internal struggles and trauma in a more nuanced way.
  • Intensify the sense of urgency and tension in the scene to reflect the life-threatening situation Szpilman is in.
  • Focus on the emotional connection between Szpilman and Dorota to make their interaction more compelling and meaningful.
  • Enhance the visual and sensory elements in the scene to create a more immersive and atmospheric setting.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue and pacing to maintain the audience's engagement and drive the narrative forward effectively.



Scene 34 -  Hope Amidst the War's Destruction
INT. DOROTA'S VILLA - MORNING

Szpilman asleep on the sofa. The sound of a cello. He opens
his eyes. Listens.

He swings his legs off the sofa, stands, and crosses to a
door. Quietly, he opens it a little.

Szpilman and his POV - another room.

Dorota, partially turned away from him, plays Bach on the
cello.

Szpilman watches her and listens.

INT. 2ND APARTMENT (4TH FLOOR), LANDING AND DOOR - NIGHT

A padlock being unlocked. Then, a key is inserted into the
Yale lock, turned, and the door opens.

Michal and Szpilman on the landing, enter the flat.

INT./EXT. 2ND APARTMENT AND STREET - NIGHT

A large room, sparsely furnished but with an upright piano
and a bed.

Michal carries a bag of provisions and puts them on a table
while Szpilman goes immediately to the window and looks
out.

SZPILMAN'S POV:

There are views of the city, but in the street below,
opposite, is a hospital and, on the corner, a building
flying a Nazi flag and guarded by a sentry, standing at
his sentry-box.

Michal comes up behind Szpilman.

MICHAL
(in whisper)
You're in a very German area. The
building opposite is a hospital,
taking in wounded from the Russian
front. Next door is the
Schutzpolizei. It's the safest
place to be. Right in the centre
of the lion's den.
(MORE)

THE APARTMENT:

Michal makes for the door.



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MICHAL
I'll be locking you in. No one
knows you're here. So keep as quiet
as possible.

He nods and goes. The sound of the padlock closing. Szpilman
takes in the room. He sees the piano, is still for a moment,
then goes to it.

He sits on the piano stool and adjusts its height. He opens
the lid. A cloth covers the keys. He removes the cloth. He
gazes lovingly at the keyboard. He flexes his fingers.

Then, without touching the keys, his fingers floating just
above them, he plays. Silently. Passionately.

EXT. CITY SKYLINE. POINT OF VIEW THROUGH WINDOW - DAY

Snow falling.

INT. 2ND APARTMENT - DAY

Szpilman alert, hearing the padlock being unlocked and
then iheYdle. The door opens and Michal enters, accompanied
by a man, aged about thirty, Szalas, confident, a little
brash.

In whispers:

MICHAL
All well?

SZPILMAN
Thank you.

MICHAL
This is Antek Szalas.

Szalas and Szpilman shake hands.

MICHAL
He's going to look after you. I've
given him a second key. He'll bring
you food. See that you're all right.
He's with the underground, a good
man.

Szalas produces a quarter bottle of vodka, thumps the back
of the bottle so that the cork flies out. He finds glasses
and pours. While he does all this:

SZALAS
You don't remember me, Mr. Szpilman?

SZPILMAN
No, I don't think so?

SZALAS
Warsaw Radio. I was a technician.
I saw you almost every day.




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SZPILMAN
Sorry, I don't remember.

SZALAS
Doesn't matter. You've nothing to
worry about. I'll visit often.

MICHAL
And you'll be pleased to hear the
Allies are bombing Germany night
after night - Cologne, Hamburg,
Berlin.

SZALAS
And the Russians are really giving
them hell. It's the beginning of
the end.

He gives the others their vodka.

MICHAL
Let's hope so. I don't know when
I'll see you again?

They clink glasses and drink.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Waking to cello music, Szpilman finds solace in a new apartment. Michal and Szalas offer him shelter and updates on the war's progress, sparking hope for the future. Despite the dangers of their German neighborhood, they share a moment of optimism over a drink.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the tense and intimate atmosphere of the characters' situation, while also providing a sense of hope and resilience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of resilience and human connection in the midst of war is well-executed and adds depth to the overall narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot advances as Szpilman seeks refuge in a German area, highlighting the dangers and challenges he faces while also introducing new characters and alliances.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on survival during wartime, with a focus on music as a form of escape and connection. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters show strength, resilience, and a sense of camaraderie, which adds depth to their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

The characters show resilience and adaptability in the face of danger, showcasing their growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to find solace and escape through music in the midst of war and danger. This reflects his deeper need for hope and connection to his passion.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to survive and stay hidden from the authorities. This reflects the immediate challenge of evading capture and staying safe in a dangerous environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict is present in the dangerous setting and the characters' struggle to survive, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing external threats and internal conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the constant threat of discovery and danger in a hostile environment.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, alliances, and dangers for the characters to navigate.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its interactions and revelations, keeping the audience on edge about the characters' fates and decisions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in the characters' discussions about the war and the hope for liberation. Szpilman's passive approach contrasts with the underground resistance's active involvement, challenging his beliefs about survival and resistance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, as the characters navigate perilous circumstances with courage and determination.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is tense and supportive, reflecting the characters' emotions and the gravity of their situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its tense atmosphere, emotional depth, and the characters' complex relationships. The use of music adds a layer of intrigue and connection.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a war drama screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct settings and character interactions, effectively building tension and developing the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from Szpilman witnessing the brutal suppression of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising to him waking up in Dorota's villa. The emotional impact of the previous events is not fully explored or carried over into this scene.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in Szpilman's reaction to hearing Dorota play the cello. More emphasis could be placed on the significance of music in connecting Szpilman to his past and providing solace in the midst of chaos.
  • The introduction of Michal and Szalas feels rushed and could benefit from more development to establish their characters and their relationship with Szpilman. The transition from one setting to another could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between the characters, especially Szalas and Michal, lacks depth and could be more engaging to provide insight into their personalities and motivations.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and detailed to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and immerse the audience in the setting of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating a brief reflection or reaction from Szpilman on the events he witnessed before transitioning to the new setting to maintain continuity and emotional resonance.
  • Explore Szpilman's emotional response to hearing Dorota play the cello in more depth, highlighting the significance of music as a source of comfort and connection for him.
  • Develop the characters of Michal and Szalas further through meaningful interactions and dialogue that reveal their personalities and relationships with Szpilman.
  • Enhance the transitions between different settings by providing smoother segues and establishing a cohesive narrative flow throughout the scene.
  • Add more descriptive details to the visual elements to create a vivid and immersive environment that enhances the overall impact of the scene.



Scene 35 -  Szpilman Receives Food and News
EXT. 2ND APARTMENT - DAY

Summer. Trees in leaf.

Comings and goings at the Schutzpolizei building. And an
ambulance draws up at the hospital, disgorging a couple of
stretcher cases, who are carried inside.

INT. 2ND APARTMENT - DAY

very weak and his skin yellowish, drops four beans into
boiling water.

The Sound of the padlock being opened.

Szpilman hurries to see the door open and Szalas enter
with a small and grinning cheerfully.

In whispers:

SZALAS
Still alive then, are you? Here.
Sausage. Bread.

He hands over the package. You still got that vodka?
Szpilman stares at the package.

SZPILMAN
How long is this meant to last?

Szalas shrugs, finds the vodka, pours two glasses

SZPILMAN
think I've got jaundice.




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He unwraps the package to reveal sausage and bread. He
takes a bite of sausage, chewing deliberately, slowly.

SZALAS
You don't want to worry about that.
My grandfather was jilted by his
girl friend when he got jaundice.
(chuckles.)
In my opinion, jaundice is not
very serious. Drink up.

SZPILMAN
Why didn't you come sooner? It's
been over two weeks.

Szalas goes to the window, looks out.

SZALAS
Problems. Money. I've got to raise
money to buy the food. I need things
to sell, it' s not easy.

Szpilman thinks for a moment, then takes off his wristwatch,
hands it to Szalas.

SZPILMAN
Sell this. Food's more important
than time.

Szalas pockets the watch, makes for the door, stops.

SZALAS
Oh, yes. I meant to tell you. The
Allies have landed in France. The
Russians'll be here soon. They'll
beat the shit out of the Germans.
Any day now.

He grins, downs Szpilman's vodka, gives a mock salute and
goes. Hie padlock is locked on the other side. Szpilman
enjoys his sausage.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical","War"]

Summary Szpilman, weakened and ill, receives food and news from Szalas. Szpilman gives Szalas his watch to sell for more food. Szpilman enjoys his sausage, while Szalas shares the news of the Allied landing in France and the impending arrival of the Russians. The atmosphere is hopeful and optimistic.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
  • Realistic portrayal of wartime struggles
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too on-the-nose
  • Lack of visual description in certain parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the harsh realities of the characters' situation while also providing a sense of hope and resilience. The dialogue and interactions between characters are engaging and emotionally impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival and hope in the face of adversity is well-executed in this scene. It effectively portrays the characters' struggles and the uncertainty of their future.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is engaging and moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' survival instincts and their interactions with each other. The tension and conflict are well-developed.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of survival during wartime, with authentic dialogue and realistic character interactions. The writer's original voice shines through in the portrayal of the protagonist's resilience and moral dilemmas.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The interactions between characters are compelling and add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their attitudes and behaviors, reflecting the challenges they face and the resilience they exhibit. These changes add depth to the character development.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to survive and maintain hope in the face of adversity. This reflects his deeper need for resilience, his fear of death or giving up, and his desire to hold onto his humanity in a dehumanizing situation.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to obtain food and basic necessities to survive. This reflects the immediate circumstances of scarcity and the challenges he faces in a war-torn city.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing physical and emotional challenges. The tension between survival and despair creates a compelling narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing difficult choices and moral dilemmas that challenge his survival instincts and values. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and uncertain futures. The sense of danger and desperation adds tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' survival strategies and their interactions with each other. It sets the stage for future developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the protagonist's interactions and choices. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between survival and morality. The protagonist must make difficult choices to survive, such as giving up his watch for food, which challenges his values and sense of integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of fear, hope, and resilience in the audience. The characters' struggles and interactions are emotionally engaging.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and conveys the characters' emotions and struggles effectively. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall storytelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional content, realistic dialogue, and the protagonist's compelling struggle for survival. The tension and uncertainty keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and emotional impact, and maintaining the audience's interest throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's struggles and emotions.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension given the dire circumstances Szpilman is in. More emphasis on his weakened state and the imminent danger he faces could heighten the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Szalas and Szpilman feels somewhat casual and lacks the gravity of the situation. Adding more weight to their conversation could enhance the sense of desperation and survival.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into Szpilman's internal struggles and emotions as he grapples with his deteriorating health and the uncertainty of the war. Adding more introspective moments could add depth to the character.
  • The visual descriptions are minimal, missing an opportunity to create a vivid and immersive setting that reflects the wartime conditions and Szpilman's fragile state.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved by building more tension and suspense as Szalas delivers the food and shares news of the Allies' advance. This would engage the audience more effectively and keep them invested in Szpilman's journey.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the sense of urgency and danger by emphasizing Szpilman's weakened state and the imminent threat he faces.
  • Revise the dialogue to reflect the gravity of the situation, adding more emotional depth and weight to the interactions between Szalas and Szpilman.
  • Include more introspective moments for Szpilman to explore his internal struggles and emotions, providing insight into his mindset and resilience.
  • Enrich the visual descriptions to create a more immersive setting that conveys the wartime conditions and Szpilman's physical and emotional state.
  • Improve the pacing by building tension and suspense throughout the scene, engaging the audience and maintaining their interest in Szpilman's story.



Scene 36 -  A Visit from Friends
INT. 2ND APARTMENT - DAY

Sunshine floods in through the windows.

Szpilman lies inert on the bed, weak, starving, ill.

The sound of the padlock. He doesn't stir.

Dorota, no longer pregnant, and Michal enter, come to the
bed.

In whispers:

DOROTA
Wladek? Wladek!
(to Michal)
I knew it, I knew this would happen!
(MORE)




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Szpilman barely has strength to open his eyes and focus on
them. He mutters incoherently.

DOROTA
I'm going to get a doctor.

MICHAL
You can't, it's too dangerous.

DOROTA
I'll get Dr Luczak, we can trust
him.

MICHAL
Dorota, don't be ridiculous, he's
a pediatrician.

DOROTA
He's still a doctor.

She starts for the door.

MICHAL
No, you stay, I'll go.

He leaves. The padlock sound.

Dorota goes to the kitchen, wets a towel, comes back to
the bed, kneels it, places the towel on Szpilman's brow.
He focuses on her, smiles.

DOROTA
We came to say goodbye. We're going
to stay with my mother in Otwock.The
baby's already there. It's safer.
There's talk that the uprising
will begin any day now.

Szpilman suddenly winces with pain.

DOROTA
That man Szalas should be shot.
He's been collecting money on your
behalf all over Warsaw. Apparently,
people gave generously. So he
collected a tidy sum. He told us
he was visiting you daily.

She looks at him; barely audible.

DOROTA
Oh God!

Later:

Szpilman looks up at Dr Luczak, who has a stethoscope in
his ears. Dorota and Michal stand behind him.




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DOCTOR
Acute inflammation of the gall
bladder. Liver the size of a
football. But he'll live. I'll try
to get hold of some levulose, but
it's not easy.

DOROTA
Can you visit him again?

DOCTOR
Who knows?

SZPILMAN
Doctor, thank you.

DOCTOR
Don't speak. Rest.

The Doctor and Michal leave his line of vision.

Dorota moves in beside him.

DOROTA
Michal brought food. I'll prepare
something now for you, then we
must go.

Szpilman tries again to say something, but he can't, just
lies there, distressed.
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Szpilman, weak and ill, is visited by Dorota and Michal. Dorota wants to get a doctor, but Michal says it's too dangerous. Dorota insists, and Michal leaves to get Dr. Luczak. Dorota wets a towel and places it on Szpilman's brow. She tells him they are going to stay with her mother in Otwock, and that the baby is already there. Szpilman winces in pain, and Dorota tells him that Szalas has been collecting money on his behalf and not giving it to him. Dr. Luczak arrives and examines Szpilman, and says he has an acute inflammation of the gall bladder and an enlarged liver, but that he will live. Szpilman tries to speak, but can't, and Dorota says she will prepare food for him before they go.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Realistic portrayal of wartime struggles
  • Building tension and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too on-the-nose
  • Lack of external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional and physical struggles of the characters, setting a somber tone and building tension for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of survival and sacrifice in wartime is well portrayed, emphasizing the harsh realities faced by individuals during the conflict.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Szpilman's health deteriorates, Dorota and Michal make a difficult decision to leave, and the uncertainty of survival is heightened.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges faced by individuals in war zones, with authentic character actions and dialogue that ring true to the setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters show depth and emotion, especially Szpilman's vulnerability, Dorota's concern, and Michal's determination to help.

Character Changes: 8

Szpilman's deteriorating health and Dorota and Michal's decision to leave show significant character changes and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to survive his illness and the dangerous circumstances of the war. This reflects his deeper need for safety and health, as well as his fear of not being able to overcome the challenges he faces.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to receive medical treatment and recover from his illness. This reflects the immediate challenge of staying alive in a war zone.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict is internal (Szpilman's health) and external (war and survival), creating a sense of urgency and tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing physical and emotional challenges that are difficult to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Szpilman's life is in danger, and Dorota and Michal face the uncertainty of survival in a war-torn environment.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides important developments in the characters' journey and sets the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and the uncertain outcome of the protagonist's illness.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the value of trust and betrayal. The protagonist's trust in Szalas is shattered when he learns of his deceit, challenging his beliefs in the goodness of people.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly sadness and empathy for the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is poignant and reflects the characters' emotions and struggles effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth and the high stakes faced by the characters.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the protagonist's plight.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the dire situation Szpilman is in, lying weak and ill on the bed, which creates a sense of urgency and desperation.
  • The dialogue between Dorota and Michal adds depth to the scene by revealing their concern for Szpilman's well-being and their plans to leave for safety.
  • The interaction between Dorota and Szpilman, with her wetting a towel and placing it on his brow, shows her care and compassion for him in a subtle yet impactful way.
  • The revelation about Szalas collecting money on Szpilman's behalf adds an element of betrayal and deceit, increasing the tension in the scene.
  • The diagnosis by Dr. Luczak and the uncertainty of whether he can visit again adds a layer of realism and uncertainty to Szpilman's condition.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical actions or reactions from Szpilman to show his pain and distress more vividly.
  • Explore the emotional turmoil within Szpilman as he receives the news about Szalas collecting money, perhaps through internal monologue or subtle gestures.
  • Introduce a moment of reflection or introspection from Szpilman as he processes the information about his condition and the betrayal by Szalas.
  • Enhance the tension in the scene by incorporating more non-verbal cues or subtle hints of danger due to the wartime setting.
  • Provide a resolution or cliffhanger at the end of the scene to keep the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.



Scene 37 -  Warsaw Uprising
EXT./INT. APARTMENT - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Szpilman looking down from the fourth-floor window.
Peaceful. A few pedestrians. An everyday atmosphere.

At the far end, at the T-junction with a main road, a tram
rumbles down the street and comes to a halt, disgorging
passengers on the far side and so out of sight.

The tram continues on its way, now revealing the few
passengers who alighted '97 women, an old man with a stick.
Last, three young Poles, carrying long objects wrapped in
newspaper.

One of the men looks at his watch, glances around, then
suddenly kneels and puts the package he's carrying to his
shoulder. The sound of rapid firing, which makes the
newspaper at the end of the packet glow to reveal the barrel
of a machine gun.

His two companions have also put their packages to their
shoulders and begin shooting, all aiming their fire at the
Schutzpolizei building.

The sentry is hit and falls in front of his box.

As if these young men have given a signal, now from all
over the city comes the sound of gunfire.




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The pedestrians have scattered except for the old man,
gasping for breath, hobbling on his walking stick, who
eventually manages to disappear inside a building.

Rifle and machine-gun fire from the Schutzpolizei building.

The firing intense. The three young Poles manoeuvre to the
corner opposite the Schutzpolizei and toss grenades into
the building.

EXT. DOWN IN THE STREET - DAY

A battle raging.

The Germans firing from the hospital.

The three young Poles have been joined by other fighters
and they the Schutzpolizei building.

Grenades thrown, machine-gun fire exchanged.

The sentry box blows up, splinters of wood cascading. A
couple of Poles make a dash for it and enter a building
opposite to the Schutzpolizei.

EXT./INT. 2ND APARTMENT - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Szpilman watching from his window, looks in the opposite
direction and sees smoke rising.

When he turns back to look towards the T-junction, he sees
a Panzerfaust anti-tank rocket firer poking out from a
window in the next-door building but on the floor below.

The Panzerfaust fires. The shell hits the hospital.

EXT. CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

The city in flames.

Sound of firing becoming sporadic, less intense. Isolated
explosions.

INT. 2ND APARTMENT - NIGHT

Szpilman, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

EXT. 2ND APARTMENT - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

The interior of the Schutzpolizei building burnt to cinders.

An ambulance is being loaded with patients from the
hospital.

A horse-drawn cab rounds a corner and clatters down the
street.

INT./EXT. 2ND APARTMENT - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Szpilman at the window, watching.




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The horse-drawn cab clatters out of his sight. He is about
to draw back when he sees, directly beneath him, a man and
woman walking with their hands in the air. Then, a German
soldier, pointing his rifle at their backs, appears.

Suddenly, the man and woman begin to run.

The man turns and disappears. The woman also turns, but
the German soldier drops to one knee and fires.

The woman clutches her stomach, drops slowly to her knees
and collapses on the street in an awkward kneeling position,
and that's how she remains.

Szpilman watches, aghast. Then, he hears voices outside
his door, shouts, footsteps, panic.

THE APARTMENT:

He runs to his front door and listens.

VOICES
(confused)
Where? Where? Just get out!
Everywhere! Get out into the street!

More clatter of footsteps. Then:

A MAN'S VOICE
Get out now! The Germans have
surrounded the building! They're
going to blow us to pieces.

Footsteps descending stairs, more shouts, and:

THE MAN'S VOICE
(further off)
Everyone out, please! Leave your
flats at once, please!

Szpilman runs to the door, tries it but it's padlocked and
he can't open the door.

In panic, he runs back to the window.

His eyes grow wide with terror.

SZPILMAN'S POV: AGAIN THE STREET.

A German tank bringing its gun to bear on the building
next to his.

The gun jerks back and there's a great roaring noise.

The whole building shakes. Szpilman reek back, falls, gets
to his feet and crawls back to the window.

He sees the tank turret swivelling slowly, bringing the
gun to bear directly on a lower floor of his building. The
roaring noise again.




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A terrific explosion. His windows are shattered. Glass
everywhere. He is thrown back across the room. Smoke begins
to billow and fill the room.
Genres: ["War","Drama","Historical"]

Summary Witnessing an uprising from his apartment, Szpilman observes intense fighting, shootings, a tank attack, and the destruction of his building, leaving his fate uncertain.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic portrayal of war
  • Emotional depth
  • Character resilience
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the intense and terrifying atmosphere of war, while also showcasing the resilience and bravery of the characters. The juxtaposition of chaos and hope adds depth to the storytelling.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival in the face of overwhelming odds is effectively portrayed, with the scene highlighting the brutal reality of war and the strength of the human spirit.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is gripping and intense, with the battle for survival driving the narrative forward. The stakes are high, and the conflict is palpable, keeping the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and authentic portrayal of the horrors of war, with unique situations and character actions that feel realistic and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene display courage, fear, and resilience, adding depth to the storytelling. Their actions and emotions contribute to the overall tension and drama of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' actions and emotions evolve in response to the escalating conflict and danger.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is likely survival and the preservation of his humanity in the face of extreme violence and danger. He may also be grappling with feelings of helplessness and fear.

External Goal: 9

Szpilman's external goal is to escape the imminent danger posed by the German forces surrounding his building and survive the bombing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing life-threatening situations and intense battles. The tension and danger are palpable, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing imminent danger and obstacles that threaten his survival.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with characters facing life-threatening situations and intense battles. The risk of death and the uncertainty of survival add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' struggle for survival and the escalating conflict in the war. The events in the scene have a direct impact on the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden and shocking events that unfold, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between the value of human life and the brutality of war. Szpilman is faced with witnessing the dehumanizing effects of violence and the struggle for survival.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking fear, sadness, and hope in the audience. The characters' struggles and the brutal reality of war resonate on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the urgency and chaos of the situation. The characters' words reflect their emotions and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and suspenseful action, drawing the audience into the chaos and danger of the war setting.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and intense, building tension and suspense as the events unfold rapidly.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for a war drama, with concise descriptions and impactful action lines.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the escalating tension and danger, following a logical progression of events in a war setting.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a peaceful atmosphere but quickly escalates into a violent battle, which may feel abrupt and disjointed.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and connection to the characters in this scene, making it challenging for the audience to fully engage with the events unfolding.
  • The transition from observing the battle to witnessing a tragic incident with the man and woman on the street feels disconnected and could benefit from smoother storytelling.
  • The sense of urgency and panic in the scene could be heightened by focusing more on Szpilman's internal thoughts and emotions as he witnesses the chaos around him.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or conclusion, leaving the audience hanging without a sense of closure.
Suggestions
  • Consider building more tension and suspense leading up to the battle to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Develop the characters' emotions and reactions to the escalating violence to make the scene more impactful and engaging.
  • Ensure a smoother transition between different events in the scene to maintain a coherent storyline.
  • Focus on Szpilman's perspective and internal struggles to enhance the audience's connection to the character and the unfolding events.
  • Provide a more definitive ending or resolution to the scene to give the audience a sense of closure and completion.



Scene 38 -  Szpilman's Escape
INT. 2ND APARTMENT AND ADJOINING APARTMENT - DAY

Smoke filling the room. Szpilman gets to his knees, peers
through the smoke and sees that the wall separating his
apartment from the one next door has been partially
destroyed, with a large hole blasted in it. He stumbles
into the next-door apartment and out of the front door.

INT. 4TH AND 5TH FLOOR LANDINGS - DAY

Smoke everywhere. Szpilman staggers up to the fifth-floor
landing. There's a metal attic door.

Szpilman pushes open the door and steps into the attic.

INT. ATTIC - DAY

The roof space with laundry drying on lines. Szpilman enters
the attic, closes the door, leans on it.

GERMAN VOICE
Fourth floor, Fischke!

He looks round, sees that the roof has been shattered,
leaving a large, jagged gap. He climbs through the gap, on
to the roof at the back of the building.

INT. 4TH FLOOR LANDING - DAY

The attic door being kicked in by a German boot.

A German soldier, wearing his gas mask, bayonet fixed,
enters the attic, looks round, sees nothing, then:

GERMAN VOICE
At the double, Fischke!

The soldier turns and hurries out.

INT. ROOF, BACK OF BUILDING - DAY

On the sloping roof, Szpilman clutches the skylight and
has his feet in the roof gutter.

He listens - all quiet in the house.

And then a bullet ricochets off the tiles beside him.

Szpilman, terrified, drops, involuntarily catching a lower
edge so that his feet dangle above a balcony below. More
shots. He drops on to the balcony and looks back.

EXT. ROOFTOP, TWO STREETS AWAY - DAY

Two German soldiers are firing at Szpilman.




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INT. ROOF, BACK OF BUILDING - DAY

Szpilman clambers back into the building through the smashed
balcony door. A couple of shots dangerously close.

INT. STAIRCASE - DAY

Smoke. Szpilman staggers down the stairs, stumbles over a
corpse and almost falls headlong.

EXT. GARDEN AND BACKYARD - LATE AFTERNOON

The sun is setting.

Szpilman crawls into the backyard. He hears German voices
shouting commands. He hides behind three garbage bins by
the wall.

He waits. Listens. Silence

EXT. STREET - EVENING

Deserted. Buildings on fire but dying out. Corpses in the
street, including the woman who was shot, still in her
strange kneeling position.

EXT. FRONT DOOR AND STREET - NIGHT

Szpilman watches from the doorway. Then, dropping down, he
crawls across the road on his stomach, threading his way
through the dead bodies, now besieged by flies, and makes
for the hospital opposite.

German soldiers appear from around a corner. Szpilman
immediately lies still, pretending to be just another
corpse. Flies alight on him. When the Germans pass, he
sets off again.
Genres: ["War","Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the midst of a burning building, Szpilman escapes through a hole in the wall into the attic. He crawls onto the roof and drops down to a lower balcony to evade gunfire. Hiding behind garbage bins, he crawls across the street to the hospital, feigning death to avoid German soldiers.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • High stakes
  • Emotional impact
  • Tension
  • Visual storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the intense and terrifying atmosphere of war, with a strong emotional impact and high stakes. The tension is palpable, and the viewer is fully engaged in Szpilman's desperate struggle for survival.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of survival in a war-torn environment is executed with great skill, emphasizing the danger, fear, and determination of the protagonist. The scene effectively captures the brutality of war and the resilience of the human spirit.

Plot: 8

The plot is focused on Szpilman's harrowing escape from the burning ghetto, highlighting the immediate danger and urgency of the situation. The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the protagonist's resourcefulness and will to survive.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and authentic portrayal of the challenges faced by the protagonist in a war-torn environment. The actions and dialogue feel realistic and contribute to the sense of danger and urgency.


Character Development

Characters: 7

While the focus is primarily on Szpilman, the scene also briefly introduces other characters who contribute to the tense atmosphere. The characters are driven by fear, desperation, and determination, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a significant change in the scene, transitioning from fear and desperation to determination and resilience as he fights to escape the burning ghetto. The experience shapes his character and drives his actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is survival. He is trying to navigate through the dangerous environment and evade the German soldiers in order to stay alive.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to escape the immediate threat of the German soldiers and find safety, possibly in the hospital across the street.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is extremely high, with Szpilman facing imminent danger and death at every turn. The intense action and violence create a sense of urgency and desperation, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing life-threatening challenges and obstacles that keep the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with Szpilman facing imminent death and destruction as he navigates through the war-torn environment. The intense danger and urgency create a sense of desperation and suspense, driving the narrative forward.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing Szpilman's escape from the ghetto and his continued struggle for survival. The action and tension propel the narrative, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the constant danger and uncertainty faced by the protagonist, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle for survival in the face of war and violence. Szpilman's beliefs and values are challenged as he is forced to confront the harsh realities of the situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a powerful emotional impact, evoking fear, sadness, hope, and determination in the viewer. The intense atmosphere and high stakes elicit a strong emotional response, drawing the audience into Szpilman's struggle for survival.

Dialogue: 6

Dialogue is minimal in the scene, with most of the communication conveyed through actions and sounds. This enhances the tension and urgency of the situation, allowing the visuals to speak for themselves.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and suspenseful atmosphere, with the protagonist facing life-threatening challenges and obstacles in a war-torn setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a sense of urgency and danger driving the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a war screenplay, effectively conveying the chaotic and dangerous environment through visual descriptions and action sequences.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the escalating tension and danger faced by the protagonist, following a logical progression of events in the war-torn setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the chaos and danger that Szpilman is facing as he navigates through the smoke-filled building and tries to escape from the German soldiers.
  • The tension is palpable as Szpilman moves from one precarious situation to another, adding to the suspense and keeping the audience engaged.
  • The use of visual cues such as smoke, shattered windows, and dead bodies creates a vivid and immersive setting, enhancing the atmosphere of war and destruction.
  • The scene effectively portrays Szpilman's desperation and determination to survive, showcasing his resourcefulness and resilience in the face of danger.
  • The action sequences are well-paced and engaging, with each moment building upon the previous one to create a sense of urgency and danger.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Szpilman to provide insight into his mindset and motivations during this intense sequence.
  • Introduce more sensory details to further immerse the audience in the scene, such as the smell of smoke, the sound of gunfire, or the feel of Szpilman's heartbeat racing.
  • Explore the psychological impact of Szpilman's experiences on his character development, showing how the trauma of war shapes his actions and decisions.
  • Consider incorporating moments of reflection or introspection for Szpilman to deepen his character arc and add layers of complexity to his journey.
  • Ensure that the pacing remains consistent throughout the scene, balancing moments of tension and action with quieter moments of character development and emotional resonance.



Scene 39 -  A Night in the Ruins: Szpilman's Struggle for Survival
INT. RUINED HOSPITAL, OPERATING THEATRE - NIGHT

Dark. Szpilman crawls into a corner, rests. He's exhausted.

He tries to take stock of his surroundings. He can make
out the operating table. He manages to drag himself on to
it.

He lies there, his eyes grow heavy. He sleeps.

EXT. RUINED HOSPITAL - DAY

German soldiers dragging the corpses into a pile.

A sergeant douses the bodies in petrol, then sets them
alight.

The bodies burn.

INT./EXT. RUINED HOSPITAL - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

From a shattered window on the first floor, he looks at
the burning bodies.



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Two German soldiers wander into his eyeline. He draws back
a little but watches them warily.

They sit just beneath him, chatting, and take out their
food-tins, drink coffee and eat bread.

INT. PASSAGE AND WARDS, RUINED HOSPITAL - DAY

Szpilman wanders down the passage, sees into the wards,
the empty beds, the broken furniture and medical equipment.

INT. KITCHEN, RUINED HOSPITAL - DAY

Szpilman opens cupboards, drawers, searching, but trying
to be as quiet as possible.

He sees the refrigerator, quickly gets to it, pulls open
the door. Empty.

He looks around and notices a red fire bucket with a spade
and a box of sand next to it. The bucket is full of water,
covered with an iridescent film and full of dead flies.

He drinks as much water as he can without swallowing the
flies and, while he's doing so, he spots a couple of sacks.

He opens the first: potatoes. The second contains barley.

He tries to eat the uncooked barley but can't.

Later:

A fire on the floor. Szpilman holds a saucepan over it and
is cooking the barley and some potatoes. He manages to
scoop out a spoonful, blows to cool it, then eats.

INT./EXT. RUINED HOSPITAL - SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Szpilman at a window sees autumn leaves thick on the ground.
And at the end of the street, a line of Poles, some with
their hands in the air, others with hands on heads, being
marched away by German soldiers.

INT. WARD. RUINED HOSPITAL - DAY.

Szpilman lies in bed under several layers of blankets. Ice
on the windows. He hears German voices shouting commands.
He sits up.

INT./EXT. RUINED HOSPITAL, SZPILMAN'S POV - DAY

Szpilman gets to a window and looks out.

German soldiers with flame-throwers are burning the
buildings opposite.

One soldier, with a bucket of white paint and a brush,
numbers the building.




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Szpilman cranes to see them reach the end of the street,
then cross over and start on the buildings on his side,
working their way towards the hospital.

He pulls away and makes for the back of the hospital.

INT. BACK OF RUINED HOSPITAL - DAY

Szpilman goes to a window, jumps out. He twists his ankle.
He's in pain. He crawls across the back garden and climbs
over the wall.

EXT. RUINED STREETS - DAY

Devastation, not a human being in sight.

Nothing. Emptiness.

He is alone.

Szpilman hobbles away.

EXT. RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Cautiously, Szpilman limps towards the villa, a once grand
building, but now partly damaged by shell fire.

He makes his way in.

INT. HALL, RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Szpilman enters the hall, still showing signs of its former
opulence. I Silent. Ominous.

He looks round anxiously, then sees the stairs leading
down to the basement. He hurries towards them and descends.

INT. KITCHEN, RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Dark, shadowy.

Szpilman comes down a flight of wooden stairs that had
directly into the kitchen.

Immediately, he begins to search fractically, opening
cupboards, drawers. He finds a can with a label illustrating
pickled cucumbers. Desperately, he searches for something
to open it with.

He discovers a pair of scales with a variety of weights.
He seizes one of the weights when, very close, he hears
the sound of a car coming to a halt, then the car door
slam, a German voice giving commands.

He drops the weight but, holding the tin, he scampers up
the stairs.

INT. BACK STAIRS, RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Szpilman, clutching the unopened tin, makes his way up the
narrow, wooden staircase.



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82.

INT. TOP FLOOR, RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Szpilman, panting heavily, reaches the top floor. He sees
a small door, tries it. It opens.

INT. ATTIC AND LOFT, RUINED VILLA - EVENING

Szpilman enters, closing the small door behind him. He
leans back, resting, recovering.

And then he hears from down below a piano playing a
Beethoven piece.

After a few bars, the music stops. Szpilman listens
anxiously. Silence.

He looks around, finding himself in an attic space filled
with junk, a ladder, rotting material, travelling trunks.
Last light of day filtering through a dormer window.

There's a ladder leading up to a trapdoor. Szpilman climbs
the ladder.

He crawls into a small empty space. With enormous effort
he pulls up the ladder and closes the trapdoor.

Exhausted and trying to catch his breath, he gazes at the
unopened tin. He peers through the darkness but sees
nothing.

His eyes begin to droop.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary Szpilman seeks refuge and sustenance amidst the desolate cityscape. He cooks meager provisions, evades pursuing soldiers, and finds temporary shelter in the ruins of a villa.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of the harsh realities of war
  • Compelling depiction of survival and resilience
  • Tense and suspenseful atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the bleak and dangerous atmosphere of the war-torn setting, while also showcasing the protagonist's determination to survive against all odds.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival in a war-torn environment is well-executed, with the focus on Szpilman's resourcefulness and resilience in the face of extreme adversity.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Szpilman's desperate search for food and shelter in a ruined hospital, highlighting the harsh realities of war and the struggle for survival.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the horrors of war through Szpilman's desperate search for food and water. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Szpilman is portrayed as a determined and resourceful survivor, showcasing his resilience and strength in the face of danger. The German soldiers are depicted as ruthless and menacing, adding to the tension of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman undergoes a subtle transformation as he demonstrates his resourcefulness and determination to survive in the face of extreme adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is survival and finding sustenance. His deeper need is to stay alive and endure the harsh conditions of war.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to avoid detection by German soldiers and find food and water to sustain himself.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Szpilman facing numerous obstacles and dangers as he searches for food and shelter in the ruined hospital.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene, represented by the German soldiers and the harsh conditions of war, creates a sense of danger and uncertainty for Szpilman.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with Szpilman's life hanging in the balance as he navigates the dangerous and hostile environment of the ruined hospital.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Szpilman's continued struggle for survival and his resilience in the face of danger.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because Szpilman's actions and the unfolding events keep the audience on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle for survival in the face of extreme adversity. Szpilman's beliefs and values are challenged as he navigates the brutal realities of war.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, fear, and resilience, as Szpilman struggles to survive in a hostile environment.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but effective, conveying the sense of fear and desperation felt by Szpilman as he navigates the ruined hospital.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in Szpilman's desperate struggle for survival, creating a sense of tension and urgency.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in Szpilman's struggle for survival.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a screenplay in the war genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a war drama, effectively building tension and suspense as Szpilman navigates the ruined hospital.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the dire situation Szpilman is in, with the ruined hospital setting and the presence of German soldiers burning corpses, creating a sense of danger and desperation.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help paint a clear picture of the environment Szpilman is navigating, from the smoke-filled operating theatre to the empty hospital wards and kitchen.
  • The use of silence and minimal dialogue enhances the tension and isolation Szpilman feels, adding to the atmosphere of the scene.
  • The scene effectively shows Szpilman's resourcefulness and resilience as he searches for food and water in the hospital, highlighting his will to survive amidst the chaos of war.
  • The transition from the hospital to the ruined villa is well executed, maintaining the sense of danger and uncertainty in Szpilman's journey.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or thoughts from Szpilman to provide insight into his emotions and mindset during this challenging time.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to further immerse the audience in Szpilman's surroundings, such as sounds, smells, and textures.
  • Introduce moments of reflection or introspection for Szpilman to deepen his character development and allow the audience to connect with him on a deeper level.
  • Enhance the suspense and tension by building up to the moment when Szpilman encounters the German soldiers in the ruined villa, creating a more dramatic climax to the scene.
  • Consider incorporating symbolic elements or motifs that reflect Szpilman's internal struggles and journey towards survival, adding layers of depth to the narrative.



Scene 40 -  Compassion in the Ruins
EXT. WARSAW CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

Artillery fire. Fires glow on the horizon.

INT. LOFT, RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman wakes suddenly. He listens. Silence but for the
distant gunfire. He sees the unopened tin of pickles, stares
at it. He opens the trapdoor.

INT. BACK STAIRS, RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman, a shadow, a spectre, creeps down the stairs.

INT. KITCHEN, RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman has placed the tin and the weight on a shelf and
is engrossed in searching again. He finds a pair of chicken
scissors. Using the weight, he starts to hammer the point
of the scissors into the tin making a perforation round
the rim.

The tin slips off the shelf and rolls across the floor
coming to rest at a pair of highly polished jackboots.
Szpilman stifles a gasp.

On the stairs, in silhouette, gazing down at him, the figure
of a GERMAN CAPTAIN, the thumb of one hand caught in his
belt above his pistol.



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THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
(stern)
Who the hell are you?

Szpilman just stares at him.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Who are you?

No response.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
What the hell are you doing?

SZPILMAN
(barely audible, in
German)
I was... I was trying to open this
tin.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Where do you live?

No response.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
What's your work?

SZPILMAN
I am... I was a pianist.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
A pianist.

He studies Szpilman for a moment, then with a nod orders
him to follow. Szpilman picks up the tin and follows.

INT. ROOMS, RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman follows the German Captain through a double door,
hanging off its hinges, into a room with a broken table in
the centre, what once was the dining room. And then through
another set of doors. The German Captain's boots echo.

They come into a spacious room. Faint moonlight filters
through the large windows. Fallen masonry and broken glass.
A couple of chairs. And a grand piano in the corner.

The German Captain points at the piano.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Play.
(MORE)

Szpilman hesitates, then limps to the piano, puts down the
tin, and opens the lid. He turns and drags one of the chairs
over and sits.

The German Captain stands and watches.

Szpilman glances surreptitiously at his hands, and then he
plays Chopin.


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The German Captain listens, expressionless. The pale
moonlight shows him to be a handsome, elegant man.

Szpilman finishes playing.

Silence.

Somewhere, a cat mews. Distant burst of rifle fire.

The German Captain stares at Szpilman. After a moment:

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Are you hiding here?

Szpilman nods.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Jew?

Long pause. Szpilman just stares at him.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Where are you hiding?

SZPILMAN
(in German)
In the attic.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Show me.

Szpilman hesitates, takes the tin and then shuffles past
the German Captain towards the door.

INT. ATTIC AND LOFT AREA, RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

Szpilman and the German Captain enter.

The German Captain takes out a flashlight, sees the ladder
in place, leading up to the loft.

Szpilman climbs the ladder, squeezes into the loft and
looks down at the German Captain, who shines his light on
him.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Have you anything to eat?

Szpilman shows him the tin.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
I'll bring you something.

He goes quickly, leaving Szpilman in darkness. Szpilman,
overcome by relief, can barely catch his breath.

EXT. RUINED VILLA - NIGHT

The German Captain strides out of the villa, down the front
steps to a waiting car and a driver. He gets into the car.




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The driver starts the engine and the car speeds off into
the night.

INT. LOFT - NIGHT

Szpilman hears the car's engine growing fainter. He starts
to tremble and then begins to cry. He weeps uncontrollably.

INT. HALL, ROOMS, RUINED VILLA - DAY

Much activity: officers coming and going, orderlies typing.
Officers king on field telephones. Desks, filing cabinets.

The German Captain, carrying a bulging shoulder bag, marches
into a room just off the hall and goes to his desk just as
an orderly drops papers in his in-tray. On the desk, there's
a framed photograph of him nth a woman and two children.

German Captain glances at the papers, takes a pen, initials
one or two and then goes.

THE GRAND STAIRCASE:

The German Captain marches up the stairs purposefully, as
if he's on urgent business.

INT. LOFT AND ATTIC - DAY

The German Captain enters. He puts two fingers in his mouth
and whistles.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Open up.

After a moment, the trapdoor shifts and Szpilman looks
down.

The German Captain takes a package from his shoulder bag
and throws it up into the loft. He turns to go.

SZPILMAN
Please.

The German Captain stops.

SZPILMAN
What's all that gunfire?

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
The Russians. On the other side of
the river.
(Turns to leave,
stops; with a touch
of irony:)
All you have to do is hang on for
a few more weeks.

He goes quickly.

Szpilman opens the package, finds bread and marmalade.
Then he finds a tin-opener.



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EXT. RUINED VILLA - DAY

Snow. The sound of distant gunfire.

The Germans are evacuating the villa. Men carry out boxes,
filing cabinets, desks, papers and load them into trucks.
They're careless, leaving a trail of debris. No sentries
now.

INT. ATTIC AND LOFT AREA, RUINED VILLA - DAY

Szpilman, listening and shivering with cold. He hears the
whistle. He opens the trapdoor to see the German Captain
in the attic, carrying a package.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Come down.

Szpilman descends.

SZPILMAN
What's happening?

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
We're getting out.

Szpilman faces the German Captain.

SZPILMAN
(in German)
Are the Russians here?

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Not yet.

He hands Szpilman the package. Szpilman opens it to find
inside several loaves of bread.

SZPILMAN
I don't know how to thank you.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Don't thank me. Thank God. It's
His will that we should survive.
Well. That's what we have to
believe.

Silence. Szpilman shivers with cold. The German Captain
takes off his coat and gives it to him.

SZPILMAN
What about you?

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
I've got another one. Warmer.
(brief pause)
What will you do when it's all
over?




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SZPILMAN
I'll play the piano again. On Polish
radio.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Tell me your name. I'll listen out
for you.

SZPILMAN
Szpilman.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
Szpilman.
(a crooked smile)
Good name for a pianist.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary In the midst of the Warsaw Uprising's devastation, a Jewish pianist in hiding encounters a German Captain. Despite their conflicting roles, the Captain shows compassion, offering food and encouragement. He urges Szpilman to survive and promises to listen for his name on Polish radio after the war.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Unexpected kindness
  • Powerful themes of survival and hope
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched elements in the interaction between Szpilman and the German Captain

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, combining tension, emotion, and a glimmer of hope in a war-torn setting. The interaction between Szpilman and the German Captain is gripping and showcases the complexities of human relationships in extreme circumstances.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of survival, unexpected kindness, and the power of music in the face of adversity are effectively portrayed in this scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Szpilman navigates a dangerous encounter with the German Captain, leading to a moment of unexpected connection and generosity.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its portrayal of survival and identity in a war-torn setting. The dialogue and actions feel authentic and contribute to the overall tension and suspense of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Szpilman and the German Captain are well-developed characters with conflicting motivations and emotions, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Szpilman experiences a moment of unexpected kindness and connection with the German Captain, which may lead to a shift in his perspective on humanity and survival.

Internal Goal: 9

Szpilman's internal goal is survival and maintaining his identity as a pianist despite the war and danger surrounding him.

External Goal: 8

Szpilman's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous situation with the German Captain without revealing his true identity or being discovered.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Szpilman and the German Captain, as well as the external conflict of war, creates a tense and dramatic atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Szpilman facing a powerful and authoritative figure in the German Captain. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold, adding to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident as Szpilman navigates a dangerous encounter with the German Captain while trying to survive in a war-torn environment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Szpilman's resilience and the unpredictable nature of survival during wartime.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between Szpilman and the German Captain, as well as the shifting power dynamics and tension throughout the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the tension between survival and identity. Szpilman must navigate the dangerous situation with the German Captain while maintaining his identity as a pianist and a Jew.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, relief, and hope, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and triumphs.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is tense and meaningful, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and feelings in a high-stakes situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, suspenseful dialogue, and high stakes for the characters. The power dynamics between Szpilman and the German Captain keep the audience on edge.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense throughout. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and contributes to the overall tone of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, leaving the reader slightly disoriented as to how Szpilman ended up in the ruined villa.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and the German Captain feels a bit forced and lacks depth, especially considering the intense circumstances they are in.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and the German Captain could benefit from more tension and emotional depth, given the high stakes of the situation.
  • The scene could use more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting, helping the reader to better visualize the surroundings and the characters' actions.
  • The emotional impact of Szpilman's relief and gratitude towards the German Captain could be further emphasized to create a more poignant moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition at the beginning of the scene to clarify how Szpilman ended up in the ruined villa.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Szpilman and the German Captain to make it more authentic and emotionally resonant.
  • Add more tension and depth to the interaction between Szpilman and the German Captain to reflect the high stakes of the situation.
  • Include more visual descriptions of the surroundings and characters' actions to create a vivid and immersive reading experience.
  • Amplify the emotional impact of Szpilman's relief and gratitude towards the German Captain to make the moment more poignant and memorable.



Scene 41 -  Mistaken Identity and Unanswered Requests
EXT. STREETS NEAR RUINED VILLA - DAY

Freezing weather.

Empty streets.

Then the sound of recorded music, as a car, with a
loudspeaker and a Polish national flag, comes into view,
the Polish national anthem blaring out from the speaker.

INT. LOFT - DAY

Szpilman, wearing the German Captain's coat and under the
eiderdown, hears the strange sound of the music, which he
recognises.

He's astonished, puzzled. He comes to a decision and starts
to leave.

INT./EXT. HALL AND STREET, RUINED VILLA - DAY

Cautiously, in his German military overcoat, Szpilman trots
down the staircase into the empty hall.

He goes to the front door, opens it a crack and cautiously
goes out.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Szpilman looks around, hearing the car loudspeaker
indistinctly.

LOUDSPEAKER VOICE
...German army! Polish soil
liberated! Official!

His excitement grows and he walks out into the street.

He sees at one end soldiers serving soup from afield kitchen
to a group of people.

On the opposite side of the street, he sees a man and a
woman who have left the field kitchen. The man carries a
two-tiered canister.




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Szpilman rushes towards them, grabs hold of the man and
tries to kiss him. The man, totally bewildered, tries to
fight him off. The woman is terrified.

THE WOMAN
German! German!

She runs, yelling, towards the field kitchen. So does the
man.

Szpilman stands and stares, then sees one of the soldiers
cock his rifle and fire at him.

Szpilman runs, the firing continuing.

EXT. RUINS - DAY

Szpilman bolts into the doorway of a ruined building. He
peers out to see Polish soldiers beginning to surround the
ruined building, firing shots, lobbing in a grenade or
two.

SZPILMAN
(shouting)
Stop, for God's sake, I beg you,
I'm Polish!

More shots and another grenade explosion.

SZPILMAN
Don't shoot! I'm Polish!

The Polish soldiers: Two of the officers stand near the
entrance, hearing Szpilman's shouts.

1ST POLISH OFFICER
He's Polish!

2ND POLISH OFFICER
(yelling)
Come out with your hands up.

SZPILMAN
(obeying)
Don't shoot! I'm Polish! Please,
please! I'm Polish!

1ST POLISH OFFICER
Yes, he's Polish!

2ND POLISH OFFICER
(as Szpilman
approaches')
Why the fucking coat?

SZPILMAN
I'm cold.

The Polish officers confer briefly in whispers. Then:




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2ND POLISH OFFICER
Take him to headquarters.

And they march him off.

EXT. LONG COUNTRY LANE AND HOLDING CAMP - DAY

Spring. Idyllic.

A column of men and women stretching along the length of
the lane. A couple of horse-and-carts. One or two bicycles.
Some of the people wear concentration camp garb, others in
tattered clothing.

Four men walk together and when they come to a narrow
junction, stop, seeing something

Behind barbed wire, German prisoners of war, guarded by
Russian soldiers. Desolate place. No shelters, no tents.
The POWs sit or lie on the ground, silent, broken,
shattered.

The four men gaze at them. :

1ST MAN
Look at them - bastards!

2ND MAN
German fuckers!

3RD MAN
I prayed for this, never thought
I'd see it.

The fourth man, ZYGMUNT LEDNICKI, approaches the barbed
wire.

LEDNICKI
Murderers! Assassins! Look at you
now! You took everything I had!
Me, a musician!
(wagging his finger
fiercely)
You took my violin! You took my
soul!

He stands glowering at them, then sees a POW rise from a
group, wretched, shabby, unshaven. It's the German Captain,
uniform tattered, a wreck. He comes to the barbed wire.

THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
(urgent) (in German)
Do you happen to know another
musician, a Mr Szpilman? A pianist!
Polish radio?

LEDNICKI
Yes, of course, I know Szpilman.




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THE GERMAN CAPTAIN
(desperate)
I helped Mr Szpilman when he was
in hiding. Tell him I'm here. Ask
him to help me...

A RUSSIAN GUARD, inside the compound, approaches, grabs
hold of the German Captain.

RUSSIAN GUARD
(to Lednicki, in
Russian)
Hey! No talking to the prisoners.
Get away from there!

He drags the German Captain away from the wire.

LEDNICKI
(as he backs away,
calling)
What's your name?

The German Captain is being bundled away by the guard, who
aims a kick at him. The German Captain shouts out his name
but it's unintelligible.

LEDNICKI
What?

The German Captain and the guard have disappeared. Lednicki
stands for a moment, then turns and goes.
Genres: ["War","Drama"]

Summary Szpilman, fleeing a ruined building, is mistakenly identified as a German soldier and fired upon by Polish forces. He manages to identify himself as Polish and is taken into custody. Meanwhile, German POWs, including Szpilman's acquaintance Lednicki, endure harsh conditions. Lednicki taunts the prisoners, expressing resentment over the loss of his violin to a German captain. The captain's request for Szpilman's help is relayed to Lednicki, but a Russian guard prevents him from hearing the name. Szpilman is detained, leaving the German captain's request unanswered.
Strengths
  • Intense emotions
  • Realistic portrayal of war
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be unclear or lost in translation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, with a mix of emotions, tension, and significant plot development. It effectively conveys the chaos and uncertainty of war while highlighting themes of survival and humanity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of liberation and the aftermath of war is well executed, providing a realistic portrayal of the challenges faced by individuals caught in the conflict. The scene effectively explores themes of identity, loyalty, and resilience.

Plot: 9

The plot is engaging and intense, with a clear progression towards liberation and the characters' struggle for survival. The scene moves the story forward significantly and sets the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of survival during wartime, with authentic character actions and dialogue that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are portrayed convincingly. The interactions between the different groups add depth to the scene and enhance the overall impact.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly in their perceptions of each other and their own identities. The experience of war and liberation forces them to reevaluate their beliefs and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal is to survive and find safety in a dangerous and unpredictable environment. His deeper need is to reconnect with his identity and humanity amidst the chaos of war.

External Goal: 7.5

Szpilman's external goal is to avoid being mistaken for a German soldier and to navigate the dangerous streets to find safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters navigate the challenges of war and liberation. The tension and stakes are high, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing multiple obstacles and challenges that add complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing life-threatening situations, moral dilemmas, and uncertain futures. The decisions they make have significant consequences, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new conflicts, resolutions, and character developments. It sets the stage for further events and builds anticipation for the resolution of ongoing plotlines.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden twists and turns in the protagonist's journey, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is evident in the scene as Szpilman is caught between his Polish identity and the danger of being mistaken for a German soldier. This challenges his beliefs and values as he tries to survive in a war-torn city.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, ranging from fear and desperation to hope and relief. The characters' struggles and the intense situations they face create a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, conflicts, and relationships. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, emotional stakes, and the protagonist's compelling struggle for survival.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure that effectively builds tension and suspense as the protagonist navigates the dangerous streets.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a sudden shift in tone from the previous intense and suspenseful moments to a more hopeful and idyllic setting, which may feel a bit jarring for the audience.
  • The transition from Szpilman being discovered by the German Captain to suddenly being mistaken for a German and fired upon feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more development to make the sequence more believable.
  • The interaction between Szpilman and the Polish soldiers could be more emotionally impactful by delving deeper into Szpilman's fear, confusion, and relief at being recognized as Polish.
  • The introduction of the German prisoners of war and Lednicki's interaction with the German Captain adds an interesting layer to the scene, but the dialogue exchange between them could be more nuanced and impactful to convey the desperation and hope in the situation.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with Lednicki trying to convey a message from the German Captain to Szpilman, creating intrigue and setting up a potential future interaction between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoothing out the transition between the different tones in the scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Provide more context and build-up to Szpilman being mistaken for a German and fired upon to make the sequence more believable and impactful.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of Szpilman's interaction with the Polish soldiers to create a more engaging and relatable moment for the audience.
  • Refine the dialogue exchange between Lednicki and the German Captain to add depth and complexity to their interaction, highlighting the themes of desperation and humanity in wartime.
  • Consider expanding on the cliffhanger ending by exploring the potential consequences and implications of the message from the German Captain to Szpilman, building anticipation for future developments.



Scene 42 -  Return to the POW Camp
INT. STUDIO, WARSAW RADIO STATION - DAY

Szpilman playing the piano. He looks something like his
former self, fairly well dressed and groomed.

He glances towards the glass booth and sees Lednicki with
the technicians. He smiles. Lednicki nods, smiles back.

EXT. SITE OF POW CAMP - DAY

Szpilman and Lednicki looking around an empty field.

LEDNICKI
It was here, I'm certain of it.

SZPILMAN
It's not here now.

LEDNICKI
I shouted abuse at them, I'm not
proud of it, but that's what I
did, and, I'm certain, I stood
where you are now. There was barbed
wire, and this German came up to
me.

SZPILMAN
You didn't catch his name.




8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
91.

LEDNICKI
No. I'll ask at the factory. They
may know something.

Lednicki goes.

Szpilman stands, looking around the empty field. He is
filled with sadness. He sits. He closes his eyes and put
his face to the sun.

SUPERIMPOSE CAPTION:

IT WAS LATER DISCOVERED THAT

THE NAME OF THE GERMAN OFFICER

WAS CAPTAIN WILM HOSENFELD.

ALL THAT IS KNOWN IS THAT HE DIED IN

A SOVIET PRISONER-OF-WAR CAMP IN 1952.

WLADYSLAW SZPILMAN CONTINUED TO LIVE

IN WARSAW UNTIL HIS DEATH ON 6 JULY 2OOO.

HE WAS EIGHTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD.

INT. CONCERT HALL - NIGHT

Szpilman plays Chopin's Piano Concerto No 1 with full
orchestra and conductor. He plays superbly. The music is
glorious.

FADE OUT:

THE END:




8FLiX.com WAR SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20231105
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary Szpilman is overcome with emotion as he returns to the site of the POW camp where he was held during the war. He is accompanied by Lednicki, who helped him escape. Szpilman remembers his experiences there and is unable to shake the sadness that he feels. The scene ends with a caption that reveals that the German officer who helped Szpilman escape died in a Soviet prisoner-of-war camp in 1952.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic richness
Weaknesses
  • Some pacing issues in the middle section

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally powerful, well-written, and impactful, with strong character development and thematic depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of survival, compassion, and redemption in the midst of war is effectively portrayed and resonates with the audience.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging and moves the story forward, focusing on the main character's journey towards redemption and survival.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to post-war storytelling by focusing on the protagonist's search for closure and understanding. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with complex emotions and motivations that drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

The main character undergoes a significant transformation, from despair to hope, showcasing his resilience and survival instincts.

Internal Goal: 8

Szpilman's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the past and find closure regarding the German officer's identity. This reflects his deeper need for understanding and acceptance of the events that transpired during the war.

External Goal: 7

Szpilman's external goal is to uncover the name of the German officer who interacted with Lednicki in the POW camp. This reflects the immediate challenge of finding closure and answers from the past.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between survival and despair, compassion and cruelty, adds depth and tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, as Szpilman grapples with the past and seeks closure. The audience is left wondering about the officer's identity and fate.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the main character's life on the line and the backdrop of war and tragedy intensifying the tension.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the main character's journey towards redemption and survival.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the gradual reveal of the German officer's fate and the emotional impact it has on Szpilman. The audience is kept guessing about the officer's identity and the significance of his role in Szpilman's past.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of forgiveness, remembrance, and the passage of time. Szpilman's search for the officer's name and the eventual revelation of his fate challenge his beliefs about the impact of war and the importance of closure.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, hope, and resilience, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is poignant and realistic, capturing the emotions and struggles of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character development, and thematic resonance. The quiet moments of reflection and the gradual revelation of the officer's fate keep the audience invested in Szpilman's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of reflection, emotional resonance, and gradual revelation. The rhythm of the scene enhances the impact of the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or resolution. It feels disconnected from the rest of the script and doesn't provide a satisfying conclusion to Szpilman's journey.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional impact of Szpilman's encounter with Lednicki and the revelation of Captain Hosenfeld's fate. The scene could have explored Szpilman's feelings of gratitude, closure, or regret.
  • The dialogue between Szpilman and Lednicki feels somewhat forced and lacks depth. It could have been more impactful with a more meaningful exchange between the characters.
  • The visual descriptions are minimal, missing an opportunity to create a vivid and immersive setting for the scene. Adding more sensory details could enhance the reader's experience.
  • The pacing of the scene is slow, with little dramatic tension or conflict to drive the narrative forward. It could benefit from more dynamic elements to keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the scene to tie back to earlier themes or events in the script, providing a more cohesive conclusion to Szpilman's story.
  • Explore Szpilman's internal emotional journey in response to the revelation about Captain Hosenfeld. This could add depth and complexity to the character.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Szpilman and Lednicki to make it more meaningful and reflective of their shared experiences.
  • Add more descriptive details to create a vivid and immersive setting, engaging the reader's senses and enhancing the scene's impact.
  • Introduce more conflict or tension to the scene to keep the audience engaged and create a more compelling narrative arc.