Read The King's speech with its analysis


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Scene 1 -  The Anticipation of Broadcast
F O R YO U R C O N S I D E R AT I O N 2 0 1 0




BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
David Seidler
THE KING'S SPEECH



Screenplay by

David Seidler




See-Saw Films/Bedlam Productions
CARD:

1925

King George V reigns over a quarter of the world’s
population.

He asks his second son, the Duke of York, to give the closing
speech at the Empire Exhibition in Wembley, London.


INT. BBC BROADCASTING HOUSE, STUDIO - DAY

CLOSE ON a BBC microphone of the 1920's, A formidable piece
of machinery suspended on springs.

A BBC NEWS READER, in a tuxedo with carnation boutonniere, is
gargling while a TECHNICIAN holds a porcelain bowl and a
towel at the ready. The man in the tuxedo expectorates
discreetly into the bowl, wipes his mouth fastidiously, and
signals to ANOTHER TECHNICIAN who produces an atomizer. The
Reader opens his mouth, squeezes the rubber bulb, and sprays
his inner throat. Now, he’s ready.

The reader speaks in flawless pear-shaped tones. There’s no
higher creature in the vocal world.

BBC NEWS READER
Good afternoon. This is the BBC
National Programme and Empire
Services taking you to Wembley
Stadium for the Closing Ceremony of
the Second and Final Season of the
Empire Exhibition.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In 1925, at the BBC Broadcasting House studio, the News Reader prepares for a significant live broadcast of the closing speech at the Empire Exhibition in Wembley. With the assistance of a Technician, he meticulously grooms himself for the announcement, showcasing the high standards of BBC broadcasting. The scene captures the formal and anticipatory tone as the News Reader introduces the event, transitioning the audience to the live ceremony.
Strengths
  • Historical authenticity
  • Professional tone
  • Attention to detail
Weaknesses
  • Low emotional impact
  • Minimal conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the historical and professional tone of the story, introducing the audience to the world of broadcasting in the 1920s with attention to detail and authenticity.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing the behind-the-scenes of a historical broadcast adds depth to the story and sets the tone for the challenges the characters will face.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced by introducing the task of the Duke of York giving a speech, setting up the central conflict and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its historical setting, unique character dynamics, and the protagonist's internal conflict with his speech impediment.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are introduced indirectly through the setting and the task at hand, hinting at the challenges they will face and the growth they will undergo.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints at character growth and change, but it is not fully developed in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to deliver a flawless and impactful speech at the Empire Exhibition, reflecting his desire to overcome his speech impediment and prove himself worthy of his position.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to successfully deliver the closing speech at the Empire Exhibition in Wembley, London, as requested by King George V.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict is minimal in this scene, serving more as an introduction to the challenges the characters will face later on.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing the challenge of delivering a flawless speech despite his speech impediment.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate, as the success of the Duke of York's speech is important but not life-threatening.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the central task and introducing the key players involved.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the protagonist's internal struggle with his speech impediment, adding tension and uncertainty to the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle with his speech impediment and the societal expectations placed upon him as a member of the royal family. This challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and worth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is low in this scene, focusing more on setting the tone and introducing the historical context.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is formal and informative, reflecting the professional setting and the historical context of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its detailed descriptions, character dynamics, and the high stakes involved in the protagonist's speech.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and anticipation leading up to the protagonist's speech.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, setting up the protagonist's goals and challenges effectively.


Critique
  • The opening of the scene effectively sets the historical context and introduces the audience to the significance of the Empire Exhibition. However, the transition from the historical context to the action within the studio could be smoother. The abrupt shift from the card to the studio might disorient the audience.
  • The description of the BBC News Reader is vivid and engaging, but it could benefit from more character depth. While the reader's actions are detailed, we don't get a sense of his personality or emotional state. Adding a line or two that hints at his feelings about the broadcast could enhance the audience's connection to him.
  • The use of technical jargon, such as 'pear-shaped tones,' is interesting but may alienate some viewers who are not familiar with broadcasting terminology. Simplifying this language or providing a brief explanation could make the scene more accessible.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or tension. While the technical preparations are described in detail, there is little sense of urgency or stakes involved. Introducing a hint of anxiety or anticipation regarding the upcoming speech could create a more engaging atmosphere.
  • The scene could benefit from a stronger visual element. While the actions of the News Reader are described, incorporating more sensory details about the studio environment, such as sounds, smells, or the atmosphere, would help immerse the audience in the setting.
  • The dialogue from the BBC News Reader is functional but lacks a compelling hook. Starting with a more captivating line or a personal touch could draw the audience in more effectively and set the tone for the significance of the event.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or anxiety from the News Reader before he begins speaking, which could create a sense of anticipation for the audience.
  • Introduce a secondary character, perhaps a technician or assistant, who can provide commentary or express their own nerves about the broadcast, adding depth to the scene.
  • Simplify or clarify technical terms to ensure that all viewers can understand the significance of the News Reader's preparation.
  • Incorporate more sensory details about the studio environment to create a richer atmosphere, such as the sounds of the bustling studio or the tension in the air as the broadcast approaches.
  • Revise the opening line of the News Reader to be more engaging, perhaps by incorporating a personal anecdote or a more dramatic statement about the importance of the event.



Scene 2 -  Connection Amidst Celebration
INT. CORRIDOR, WEMBLEY STADIUM - DAY

CLOSE ON a man's hand clutching a woman's hand.

Woman’s mouth whispers into man's ear.

BBC NEWS READER (V.O.)
58 British Colonies and Dominions
have taken part, making this the
largest Exhibition staged anywhere
in the world. Complete with the new
stadium, the Exhibition was built
in Wembley, Middlesex at a cost of
over 12 million pounds. The
Exhibition has attracted over 27
million visitors from every corner
of our great Empire and the rest of
the world.
2


INT. CONTROL ROOM, BBC BROADCASTING HOUSE - DAY

Technicians in suits, ties and scientific looking overcoats,
wearing bulky headphones, monitor daunting banks of valves
and dials while the Reader continues:

BBC NEWS READER (V.O.)
Today the vast Stadium is filled to
capacity with in excess of 100,000
spectators...as regiments from His
Majesty's Army, Navy and Air Force
stand in review.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a poignant scene, a man's hand holds a woman's hand, symbolizing intimacy as she whispers to him, creating a sense of connection. Meanwhile, a BBC News Reader narrates the grandeur of the Empire Exhibition at Wembley Stadium, detailing its significance, scale, and the impressive attendance of over 100,000 spectators. The scene transitions to a control room at the BBC Broadcasting House, where technicians monitor the broadcast, underscoring the event's importance. The overall tone is one of pride and celebration, reflecting both the personal bond between the characters and the monumental occasion.
Strengths
  • Historical authenticity
  • Informative exposition
  • Smooth transitions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal conflict
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the stage for the historical event, conveying the importance and magnitude of the Empire Exhibition while maintaining a formal and informative tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the Empire Exhibition and the behind-the-scenes of a live broadcast adds depth and historical context to the narrative. It sets the stage for the unfolding events and the significance of the Duke of York's speech.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the setup of the Empire Exhibition and the live broadcast, laying the foundation for the upcoming events and the involvement of key characters. It effectively establishes the stakes and the historical backdrop.

Originality: 8

The scene showcases a unique blend of historical and technological elements, providing a fresh perspective on a significant event.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

While the scene primarily focuses on the setting and the events, it briefly introduces the BBC News Reader as a key character involved in the live broadcast. The character serves the purpose of narrating the significance of the Empire Exhibition.

Character Changes: 3

There are minimal character changes in the scene, as the focus is more on setting the stage and introducing key elements of the narrative. The characters are primarily used to convey information and context.

Internal Goal: 7

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene may be to feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in being part of such a significant event.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is likely to successfully broadcast the news about the Exhibition and the stadium.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 2

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on exposition and setting the stage for the unfolding events. The conflict is minimal but sets the groundwork for potential tensions and challenges in the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with potential challenges in broadcasting the news effectively.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not explicitly high in this scene, the historical significance of the Empire Exhibition and the upcoming events suggest potential challenges and conflicts that could impact the characters and the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by establishing the setting, the historical context, and the upcoming events related to the Empire Exhibition. It lays the groundwork for the narrative progression and the involvement of key characters.

Unpredictability: 6

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of the protagonist's goals and the overall setting.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a potential philosophical conflict between the grandeur of the event and the underlying societal structures of the British Empire, which may challenge the protagonist's beliefs or values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene evokes a sense of pride and grandeur through its portrayal of the Empire Exhibition and the preparations for the live broadcast. While not highly emotional, it sets a patriotic and informative tone for the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is informative and formal, reflecting the historical context and the patriotic tone associated with the Empire Exhibition. It serves the purpose of setting the stage and providing essential background information.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of historical significance, technological elements, and character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and transitions between different locations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of grandeur and significance surrounding the Empire Exhibition, but it lacks a strong emotional anchor. The close-up of the man's hand holding the woman's hand suggests intimacy, yet the scene does not explore their relationship or emotional state, which could enhance the audience's connection to the moment.
  • The voiceover from the BBC News Reader provides important context, but it feels somewhat detached from the visual elements. The scene could benefit from integrating the visuals more closely with the narration, perhaps by showing reactions from the crowd or the couple holding hands, which would create a more immersive experience.
  • The transition between the intimate moment and the control room feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the scene and keep the audience engaged. For instance, a brief moment of silence or a shared glance between the couple before cutting to the control room could enhance the emotional weight.
  • The technicians in the control room are described as wearing 'bulky headphones' and 'scientific looking overcoats,' which adds a visual element but could be more vividly depicted. Describing their actions or expressions while monitoring the broadcast could add tension and highlight the importance of the event.
  • The dialogue from the BBC News Reader is informative but lacks a sense of urgency or excitement. Given the scale of the event, the delivery could be more dynamic to reflect the atmosphere of the stadium filled with spectators.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief exchange between the couple holding hands to provide context for their relationship and emotional stakes, enhancing the audience's investment in the scene.
  • Integrate the visuals with the voiceover more effectively by showing the crowd's reactions or the atmosphere of the stadium as the News Reader speaks, creating a more immersive experience.
  • Smooth the transition between the intimate moment and the control room by incorporating a moment of silence or a shared glance, maintaining the emotional flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the depiction of the technicians in the control room by describing their actions or expressions, which could add tension and emphasize the significance of the broadcast.
  • Revise the BBC News Reader's dialogue to include more dynamic delivery, reflecting the excitement and urgency of the event, which would better match the scale of the exhibition.



Scene 3 -  Facing the Spotlight
INT. GREEN ROOM - DAY

Nervous eyes flick towards a tunnel leading to a bright
light.

CLOSE ON - BERTIE - the Duke of York, second son of the King;
his handsome, sensitive, features look terrified.

BBC NEWS READER (V.O.)
The Opening Ceremony was the first
occasion his Majesty the King
addressed his subjects on the
wireless. The close of the first
Season was the initial time His
Royal Highness the Prince of Wales
had broadcast. And today His Royal
Highness the Duke of York will give
his inaugural broadcast to the
Nation and the World.

WIDEN TO REVEAL his young wife, truly an English rose.

ELIZABETH
Time to go.

He stares straight ahead, frozen. She gives him a loving
peck on the cheek, quickly rubbing off a fleck of lipstick.

BBC NEWS READER (V.O.)
Leading us in prayer will be the
Right Honourable and Most Reverend
Archbishop of York, Primate of all
England and Metropolitan. Now we go
live to Wembley Stadium, where His
Royal Highness the Duke of York
will read his message from the
King.

COSMO LANG - comes up to Bertie. Tries to be helpful but
makes him more nervous.

COSMO LANG
I am sure you will be splendid.
Just take your time.
3


The last bars of “God Save The King” echo down the corridor.

ROBERT WOOD, the Chief BBC Engineer on Location whispers:

WOOD
Let the microphone do the work,
sir.

Wood checks his watch.

WOOD (CONT’D)
Thirty seconds, sir.

Bertie braces his shoulders manfully, but without an ounce of
confidence, closes his eyes, nods, opens them, and
reluctantly goes through the tunnel towards the light, like a
prize-fighter entering the arena, to be greeted by the roar
of the crowd.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In the green room at Wembley Stadium, Bertie, the Duke of York, grapples with intense anxiety before his inaugural broadcast. His supportive wife, Elizabeth, offers comfort, while Cosmo Lang's attempts to reassure him only amplify his nerves. Chief BBC Engineer Robert Wood counts down to the live event, reminding Bertie to trust the microphone. As the tension mounts, Bertie steels himself and steps into the bright light of the tunnel, facing the awaiting crowd.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of nervous anticipation
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on external conflict
  • Potential for more intense pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional stakes of the Duke of York's upcoming broadcast, drawing the audience into his nervous state of mind while also highlighting the supportive relationships around him.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing the Duke of York's nerves before his broadcast, along with the support he receives, is engaging and sets up a compelling character arc for the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the Duke of York's internal struggle and the external support he receives, setting up the key moment of his broadcast and the potential character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges faced by members of the royal family, with a focus on personal struggles and internal conflicts. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, especially the Duke of York and his wife, Elizabeth, whose relationship and support add depth to the scene. Cosmo Lang's attempt to be helpful also adds to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

The Duke of York shows signs of growth as he prepares to face his fears and deliver his broadcast, setting up a potential character arc for overcoming his nervousness.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his fear and lack of confidence in public speaking. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, validation, and the desire to fulfill his duties as a member of the royal family.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to successfully deliver his inaugural broadcast to the Nation and the World. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in terms of public speaking and fulfilling his royal duties.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is internal conflict for the Duke of York in facing his fears, the scene is more focused on anticipation and support rather than intense conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Bertie's internal struggles and lack of confidence, as well as the external pressure of delivering a successful broadcast.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high for the Duke of York as he faces his fears and delivers his first broadcast, which is significant for his character development.

Story Forward: 7

The scene sets up the key moment of the Duke of York's broadcast and establishes the emotional stakes and character dynamics, moving the story forward in terms of character development.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of Bertie's broadcast is uncertain, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between duty and personal fear. Bertie must reconcile his internal struggles with his external responsibilities as a member of the royal family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the Duke of York's nervous state and the supportive relationships around him, creating a sense of empathy and anticipation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the nervousness and support among the characters, setting the tone for the scene and building up the emotional stakes.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it captures the emotional turmoil and high stakes of the broadcast event, drawing the audience into Bertie's internal struggle.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading up to the climactic moment of Bertie's broadcast.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic moment in a historical setting, building tension and anticipation leading up to the broadcast.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Bertie's anxiety and the significance of the moment, but it could benefit from deeper character exploration. While we see Bertie's nervousness, the scene lacks insight into his internal thoughts or fears, which could enhance audience empathy.
  • The dialogue, particularly the BBC News Reader's voiceover, provides important context but feels somewhat expository. It could be more engaging if it were woven into the action or interactions among characters, rather than delivered solely as a voiceover.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the close-up on Bertie's terrified face and the loving gesture from Elizabeth, is strong. However, the scene could incorporate more dynamic visuals to heighten the tension, such as contrasting shots of the cheering crowd and Bertie's fearful expression.
  • Cosmo Lang's attempt to reassure Bertie adds to the tension but could be more effective if it included a moment of genuine connection or vulnerability between them. This would help to humanize both characters and deepen the emotional stakes.
  • The transition from the green room to the tunnel is well-executed, but the metaphor of Bertie as a 'prize-fighter' could be expanded upon. This comparison could be visually represented through more intense imagery or sound design, emphasizing the pressure he feels.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Bertie that reveals his fears or doubts about the speech, which would create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Integrate the BBC News Reader's voiceover more organically into the scene by having characters react to it or by using it to contrast with Bertie's internal struggle.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by including more varied shots, such as close-ups of the audience's reactions or the grandeur of Wembley Stadium, to juxtapose Bertie's anxiety with the excitement of the event.
  • Develop the interaction between Bertie and Cosmo Lang to include a moment of shared vulnerability, perhaps by having Lang share a personal story about his own fears, which could create a stronger bond between them.
  • Explore the metaphor of Bertie as a 'prize-fighter' further by incorporating sound effects or music that build tension as he approaches the microphone, enhancing the dramatic stakes of the moment.



Scene 4 -  Facing the Fear
EXT. ROYAL PODIUM - DAY

HAND-HELD CAMERA, BERTIE’S POV: far ahead, at a seemingly
impossible distance, is the huge intimidating microphone, the
only thing between the terrified observer and 100,000 people.

Silence falls over the stadium.

Overhead, thick roiling clouds.

BERTIE approaches...like a death march.

Bertie’s eyes widen in terror as he reaches the microphone.
The red transmission light blinks four times then glows solid
red. Bertie is live.


INT. CONTROL ROOM, BBC BROADCASTING HOUSE - DAY

Technicians stare at dials and listen to the hiss of silence.

The Reader and Floor Manager glance at each other nervously.


EXT. SPECTATOR STAND, EMPIRE STADIUM -DAY

In the tense silence PAN THROUGH some of the crowd waiting
with growing discomfort. In particular we notice a father
and son watching intently.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a tense scene, Bertie approaches a microphone before a massive crowd of 100,000, his fear evident as dark clouds loom overhead. The atmosphere is thick with anxiety, mirrored by technicians in the BBC control room and a father-son duo in the audience. As the red transmission light turns solid, signaling that he is live on air, Bertie's internal struggle with public speaking intensifies, leaving the outcome of his speech uncertain.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and captures the emotional turmoil of the Duke of York while showcasing the grandeur of the event and the technical aspects of live broadcasting.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing the Duke of York's inner turmoil before a significant broadcast, juxtaposed with the technical and external elements, is compelling and well-realized.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the Duke of York's journey towards delivering a crucial speech, with elements of conflict, anticipation, and character development. The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges the character faces.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of overcoming fear and fulfilling responsibilities. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, especially the Duke of York, whose nervousness and growth are portrayed effectively. The supporting characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The Duke of York undergoes a significant change in the scene, from paralyzing fear to determination and courage as he approaches the microphone. The character's growth is pivotal to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his fear and deliver a successful live broadcast speech. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of public speaking.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to deliver a successful live broadcast speech without any technical difficulties. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the Duke of York battles his fears and insecurities before the live broadcast. The tension is palpable and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie facing the challenge of overcoming his fear and delivering a successful live broadcast speech. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the Duke of York faces the challenge of delivering a crucial speech live to a massive audience. The outcome of his performance has significant implications.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by showcasing the Duke of York's pivotal moment and setting the stage for future developments. It adds depth to the character arc and the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know if Bertie will successfully deliver his live broadcast speech or if there will be technical difficulties.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's fear of public speaking and his desire to fulfill his duty as a royal figure. This challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and responsibilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in relation to the Duke of York's anxiety and the anticipation of the crowd. The emotional depth adds layers to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying the tension and anticipation of the moment. It effectively complements the visuals and actions in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, suspenseful atmosphere, and relatable theme of overcoming fear. The audience is invested in Bertie's journey and the outcome of the live broadcast.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading up to the climax of Bertie's live broadcast speech. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in conveying the high stakes and emotions of the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene effectively conveys the visual and auditory details that enhance the atmosphere and tension of the moment.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a tense and suspenseful moment in a screenplay, effectively building up to the climax of Bertie's live broadcast speech.


Critique
  • The use of a hand-held camera perspective from Bertie's point of view effectively immerses the audience in his experience, conveying his fear and anxiety as he approaches the microphone. This technique is powerful in creating a sense of immediacy and personal connection to Bertie's internal struggle.
  • The description of the atmosphere, particularly the 'thick roiling clouds' and 'silence' falling over the stadium, sets a foreboding tone that enhances the tension of the moment. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to further evoke the environment, such as the sounds of the crowd or the physical sensations Bertie might be experiencing.
  • The transition between the external perspective of Bert approaching the microphone and the internal perspective of the control room is effective in showcasing the high stakes of the moment. However, the scene could be strengthened by providing more insight into the technicians' thoughts or feelings, which would add depth to their reactions and create a stronger emotional connection to the audience.
  • The line 'like a death march' is a strong visual metaphor that captures Bertie's dread, but it could be expanded upon to explore his thoughts or memories that contribute to this feeling. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the weight of the moment.
  • The scene ends with a sense of anticipation as Bertie goes live, but it could be enhanced by including a brief moment of hesitation or a flashback to a past failure, which would heighten the emotional stakes and make his eventual delivery more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the crowd, the smell of the rain, or the feeling of the microphone in Bertie's hand, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue or flashback for Bertie as he approaches the microphone, which could provide insight into his fears and past experiences, making his struggle more relatable and poignant.
  • Expand on the reactions of the technicians in the control room to reflect their anxiety and anticipation, perhaps by including snippets of dialogue or their body language, which would enhance the tension of the scene.
  • Explore the metaphor of 'death march' further by adding visual or auditory cues that reflect Bertie's emotional state, such as a heartbeat sound or a visual distortion as he approaches the microphone, to heighten the sense of dread.
  • End the scene with a more dramatic moment of hesitation or a visual cue that signifies Bertie's internal conflict before he goes live, which would create a stronger emotional climax and set the stage for his subsequent speech.



Scene 5 -  The Weight of Words
EXT. ROYAL PODIUM - DAY

Bertie is frozen at the microphone. His neck and jaw muscles
contract and quiver.
4


BERTIE
I have received from his Majesty
the K-K-K

[For ease of reading, Bertie’s stammer will not be indicated
from this point in the script.]

The stammer careens back at him, amplified and distorted by
the stadium PA system.

CU huge metal speakers.

CU soldiers at rigid attention.

CU Wood, he shuts his eyes.

CU Cosmo Lang, expressionless.

CU Elizabeth, dying.

Bertie gulps for air like a beached fish and attempts to
continue:

BERTIE (CONT’D)
...the King, the following gracious
message...

He can’t get the word out. SPLAT...the first drops of rain
begin to fall.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary Bertie stands at the microphone, paralyzed by his stammer as he attempts to deliver a royal message. The amplified sound of his struggle creates a tense atmosphere, with close-ups revealing the concern of those around him, including Wood, Cosmo Lang, and Elizabeth. As he gasps for air and tries to continue, the first drops of rain begin to fall, heightening the emotional tension of the moment. Ultimately, Bertie is unable to complete his speech, leaving the conflict unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Authentic character portrayal
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some visual descriptions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and high stakes faced by the Duke of York, creating a tense and gripping atmosphere for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying the Duke of York's speech impediment and his determination to overcome it in a high-pressure situation is compelling and engaging.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the Duke of York's struggle to deliver a speech, highlighting his character development and the challenges he faces in a historical context.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates originality through its portrayal of a royal figure struggling with a personal challenge in a public setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, especially the Duke of York, whose internal conflict and vulnerability are portrayed with depth and authenticity.

Character Changes: 9

The Duke of York undergoes a significant internal change as he musters the courage to continue with the speech despite his stammer and the challenging circumstances.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his stammer and deliver the message from the King. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of public speaking and failure.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to successfully deliver the King's message despite the challenges he faces, such as his stammer and the rain starting to fall. This reflects the immediate circumstances and obstacles he must overcome.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense, both internally within the Duke of York and externally as he struggles to deliver the speech despite his stammer and the adverse conditions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie facing both internal and external obstacles that challenge his ability to deliver the message. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the dramatic tension.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, as the Duke of York's reputation, the success of the event, and the expectations of the audience all hinge on his ability to overcome his stammer and deliver the speech.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the Duke of York's pivotal moment of facing his fears and attempting to deliver a crucial speech, advancing his character arc and the historical narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of Bertie's speech is uncertain, and the sudden rain adds a twist to the situation. The audience is left wondering how he will overcome his stammer and deliver the message.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's personal struggle with his stammer and the societal expectations placed upon him as a royal figure. This challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and the pressures of his position.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, tension, and empathy for the Duke of York, drawing the audience into his struggle and the high stakes of the moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the Duke of York's struggle with his stammer and the pressure he feels, adding to the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of anticipation and emotional investment in the characters' struggles. The high stakes and dramatic tension hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment with the rain starting to fall. The rhythm of the dialogue and action enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and concise action lines that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment with the rain starting to fall. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and anxiety surrounding Bertie's public speaking, which is crucial for establishing his character's internal struggle. However, the use of visual cues, such as close-ups of the audience and technicians, could be expanded to include more emotional reactions from the crowd, enhancing the sense of pressure Bertie feels.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well to convey Bertie's stammer and the weight of the moment. However, the line 'I have received from his Majesty the K-K-K' could be more impactful if it were followed by a brief pause or a visual reaction from the audience, emphasizing the gravity of his struggle and the audience's anticipation.
  • The description of Bertie's physical state is vivid, but it could benefit from more sensory details. For instance, describing the sound of the rain as it begins to fall could heighten the atmosphere and symbolize the mounting pressure on Bertie. Additionally, incorporating the smell of rain or the feeling of the cool air could immerse the audience further into the scene.
  • The transition from Bertie's stammer to the rain could be more seamless. The rain's arrival feels abrupt and could be tied more closely to Bertie's emotional state, perhaps by describing how the first drops mirror his feelings of despair or failure. This would create a stronger thematic connection between the weather and Bertie's internal conflict.
  • The use of the phrase 'dying' in Elizabeth's reaction feels overly dramatic and could be rephrased to convey her concern without suggesting a literal interpretation. A more subtle expression of her anxiety would align better with the overall tone of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional reactions from the audience, such as gasps or whispers, to amplify the tension and reflect the stakes of Bertie's speech.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene by incorporating sounds, smells, and physical sensations that Bertie experiences, particularly as the rain begins to fall.
  • Create a smoother transition between Bertie's stammer and the rain by linking the two elements thematically, perhaps by describing how the rain reflects his emotional turmoil.
  • Rephrase Elizabeth's reaction to Bertie's struggle to convey her concern in a more nuanced way, avoiding overly dramatic language that could distract from the scene's emotional weight.
  • Consider including a brief pause or visual reaction from the audience after Bertie's initial stammer to emphasize the tension and anticipation in the moment.



Scene 6 -  Marbles and Miscommunication
EXT. 145 PICADILLY - NEW DAY

Establishing shot of an imposing Georgian edifice, opposite
Hyde Park Corner. In the foreground people pay their respects
at the WWI monument with fresh wreaths.

A Rover sedan - definitive doctor’s car of the era - arrives.
A FOOTMAN scurries down the steps to meet it as the STEWARD
opens the front door.


INT. DRAWING ROOM, 145 PICCADILLY - CONTINUOUS

CLOSE ON SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM - an elderly, unctuous,
studiedly-distinguished physician who simultaneously manages
to combine pontificating and obsequiousness.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM
Inhale deep into your lungs.
Relaxes your larynx, does it not?

Bertie is seated nervously on the edge of a couch, gripping a
cigarette between thumb and forefinger, placed in the middle
of his mouth.

Elizabeth watches from across the room.
5


SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
Cigarette smoking calms the nerves
and gives you confidence.

Bertie clearly feels nothing of the sort. Smiling
ingratiatingly, the doctor produces a medical cannister from
his bag.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
If Your Highness will be so kind as
to open his hand...

Bertie unclenches a fist.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
Thank you so very much.

Opening the container, with forceps he removes five marbles
from an antiseptic solution and places them onto Bertie’s
palm.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
Sterilized. Now...if I may take the
liberty?...insert them into your
mouth.

Bertie obeys, mortified. The doctor hands Bertie a book from
his bag.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
Would you be so kind as to read.

Bertie blanches, his neck muscles twitch and constrict

BERTIE
I...

He can’t even say “can’t”.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM
Just take your time. Relax.

Bertie is unable to do it. Elizabeth watches with growing
discomfort.

ELIZABETH
Excuse me, Doctor. What is the
purpose of this?

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM
The classic approach that cured
Demosthenes.

ELIZABETH
That was in Ancient Greece. Has it
worked since?

Blandine-Bentham passes Bertie a book.
6


SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM
Now if you would be so kind as to
read. A wealth of words.

Bertie tries. It is excruciating.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
Fight against those marbles Your
Royal Highness. Enunciate!

As Bertie struggles.

SIR BLANDINE-BENTHAM (CONT’D)
A little more concentration your
Royal Higness.

Bertie spits the marbles out.

BERTIE
(explodes)
I nearly swallowed the damned
things!

Bertie storms out as Elizabeth tries to placate the doctor.

ELIZABETH
Thank you so much, Doctor, it’s
been most interesting.

Elizabeth goes through to the adjoining room to find Bertie.


INT. BERTIE’S STUDY, 145 PICCADILLY - CONTINUOUS

Bertie is struggling to light a cigarette.

ELIZABETH
Temper, Bertie darling, temper.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.

BERTIE
Insert marbles! He can insert his
own bloody marbles....!

[Note: when he speaks with his wife there’s hardly any
hesitation]

Elizabeth smiles as she lights the cigarette for him.

ELIZABETH
You can’t keep doing this, Bertie.

BERTIE
I know. Promise me: no more.

CUT TO:
7
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a Georgian drawing room near Hyde Park, Sir Blandine-Bentham attempts to treat Bertie's speech impediment using an unconventional method involving marbles. Bertie, anxious and frustrated, struggles to read aloud, leading to an outburst where he rejects the treatment. Elizabeth, his supportive wife, tries to mediate the escalating tension but ultimately follows Bertie into his study, where they share a moment of intimacy amidst the conflict.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Tension-building
  • Humorous moments
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel repetitive
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and anxiety surrounding Bertie's speech preparation, provides insight into his character through his interactions with others, and sets up a significant moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bertie's speech preparation and his battle with his stammer is engaging and provides a unique insight into his character. The scene effectively conveys the challenges he faces.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Bertie prepares for his speech, setting up a significant moment in the story. The scene adds depth to Bertie's character and foreshadows the challenges he will face.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of overcoming speech impediments by incorporating historical references and unconventional speech therapy methods. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie and Elizabeth, are well-developed and their interactions reveal their personalities and relationships. Bertie's internal struggle and Elizabeth's support add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Bertie undergoes a minor change as he confronts his fear and frustration, showing a glimpse of determination. Elizabeth remains supportive and understanding, showcasing her unwavering loyalty.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his speech impediment and gain confidence in his ability to speak clearly. This reflects his deeper desire for acceptance and self-assurance.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to please the doctor and improve his speech through the doctor's unconventional methods. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in trying to meet societal expectations and overcome his speech impediment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene primarily stems from Bertie's internal struggle with his stammer and anxiety, as well as the external pressure to deliver a speech. The tension is palpable throughout the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie facing a difficult challenge in trying to please the doctor and overcome his speech impediment.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as Bertie prepares to deliver a crucial speech in front of a large audience. His struggle with his stammer and the pressure to succeed raise the stakes for his character.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up Bertie's upcoming speech and highlighting the challenges he faces. It adds depth to his character and foreshadows the conflicts to come.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected methods used by the doctor and Bertie's explosive reaction, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the doctor's belief in traditional methods of speech therapy and Elizabeth's skepticism about their effectiveness in the modern world. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about the value of conforming to societal norms and the importance of authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and anxiety to humor and support. Bertie's struggle and Elizabeth's encouragement create an emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension, humor, and emotions in the scene. Bertie's struggle with his stammer and the interactions between characters are engaging and reveal their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, character dynamics, and the tension between the characters' goals and beliefs.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and humor through the interactions between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bertie's anxiety and frustration with his speech impediment, showcasing the absurdity of the doctor's methods. However, the character of Sir Blandine-Bentham comes off as overly caricatured, which may detract from the seriousness of Bertie's struggle. A more nuanced portrayal could enhance the tension and realism of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Bertie and Sir Blandine-Bentham feels somewhat stilted and lacks natural flow. While the doctor's pompousness is clear, the exchanges could benefit from more subtext and emotional weight, allowing the audience to feel Bertie's humiliation and Elizabeth's concern more deeply.
  • Elizabeth's role in this scene is primarily supportive, but her character could be further developed. Adding more of her internal conflict or emotional response to Bertie's struggles would create a stronger connection between the characters and heighten the stakes of the scene.
  • The use of marbles as a speech therapy tool is an interesting choice, but it may come off as too whimsical or absurd for the tone of the scene. This could undermine the gravity of Bertie's situation. A more grounded approach to the therapy method might resonate better with the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly in the transition from the doctor's instructions to Bertie's outburst. The buildup to Bertie's frustration could be more gradual, allowing the audience to feel the mounting pressure before the explosion of emotion. This would enhance the impact of his outburst.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving Sir Blandine-Bentham a more complex personality, perhaps by showing moments of genuine concern for Bertie's well-being, which could create a more layered dynamic between the characters.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more emotional subtext, allowing Bertie's frustration and Elizabeth's concern to come through more naturally. This could involve more interruptions or overlapping dialogue to reflect the tension in the room.
  • Explore Elizabeth's perspective more deeply. Perhaps include her internal thoughts or a brief flashback to a moment that highlights her own struggles with Bertie's condition, making her support feel more poignant.
  • Reevaluate the use of marbles in the therapy. Consider replacing them with a more realistic and relatable method that still conveys the absurdity of the situation without feeling overly comedic.
  • Adjust the pacing by adding more beats between the doctor's instructions and Bertie's outburst. This could involve showing Bertie's physical reactions to the pressure, such as sweating or fidgeting, to build tension before he finally snaps.



Scene 7 -  Fog and Doubt
EXT. HARLEY STREET - NEW DAY

A thick grey wet blanket...

Out of which materializes the moisture splattered hood of a
large AUSTIN.

Elizabeth, inside, determinedly glances out.

The vehicle noses thru a pea-soup fog. The York’s HOUSE
DETECTIVE is walking a few feet in front of the car, finding
the way.

After a moment, the House Detective signals the driver to
stop. Elizabeth peers out the window.

POV - in the gloom the least attractive and most ill-
maintained of the Georgian terraced houses.

Elizabeth looks disappointed and dubious. She gets out of the
car. Instructing the House Detective to wait outside, she
enters the building.


INT. GROUND FLOOR ENTRANCE, HARLEY STREET - CONTINUOUS

Elizabeth enters, somewhat dampened, the white silk roses
decorating her hat now limp.

There is a cramped elevator which is whirring noisily and a
winding staircase.

Elizabeth is even more dubious.


INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Elizabeth inside the cramped elevator.

She surveys the buttons. The bottom one reads “Basement: L.
Logue, Speech Defects”.

She closes the inner gate of the elevator and presses the
bottom button.

Nothing.

Confused, she opens the inner gate, closes the outer gate
then the inner gate and presses the button again. The
elevator jumps downwards.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary On a foggy day, Elizabeth arrives at a dilapidated Georgian terraced house, feeling disappointed and uncertain about her visit. She instructs the House Detective to wait outside and navigates the cramped entrance, encountering a malfunctioning elevator that adds to her discomfort. After a moment of confusion, she successfully gets the elevator to descend, but her doubts about the situation linger.
Strengths
  • Effective character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some confusion in the setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a unique treatment method for speech defects, creates a tense and atmospheric setting, and showcases Elizabeth's determination and doubt, adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of using a unique treatment method for speech defects adds depth to the character of Bertie and sets up potential growth and conflict in the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced by introducing a new element that could impact Bertie's journey and relationships, setting up potential conflicts and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique setting, character goal, and philosophical conflict that add depth and intrigue to the story. The authenticity of Elizabeth's actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Elizabeth and Bertie, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their personalities, motivations, and relationships effectively.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a minor change in his attitude towards the treatment, showcasing his frustration and determination to overcome his speech impediment.

Internal Goal: 8

Elizabeth's internal goal in this scene is to find a solution for her speech defect, as indicated by her pressing the button for 'Basement: L. Logue, Speech Defects'. This reflects her deeper desire for self-improvement and overcoming personal challenges.

External Goal: 7

Elizabeth's external goal in this scene is to seek help for her speech defect by visiting L. Logue in the basement of the building. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in dealing with her speech issues.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is primarily internal, with Bertie struggling with his speech impediment and the treatment, adding tension and emotional depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge Elizabeth's goals, but not overwhelming to the point of predictability. The audience is kept on their toes about the outcome of her visit to L. Logue.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high, as Bertie's ability to overcome his speech impediment could impact his future role and relationships.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new plot element that could impact Bertie's journey and relationships, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected setting, character actions, and the mysterious nature of Elizabeth's goal. The audience is left wondering about her motivations and the outcome of her visit to L. Logue.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene could be the contrast between Elizabeth's refined appearance and the run-down surroundings, symbolizing the struggle between external appearances and internal struggles. This challenges Elizabeth's beliefs about self-improvement and societal expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety to determination, effectively engaging the audience and setting up potential character growth.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and serves to reveal character traits and emotions, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its atmospheric descriptions, subtle character actions, and the mystery surrounding Elizabeth's journey. The tension and curiosity created by the setting and character motivations keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and intrigue, with a gradual reveal of information and character motivations. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions contributes to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with proper scene headings, descriptions, and character actions. It adheres to the expected format for a screenplay in its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, effectively building tension and intrigue. The formatting aligns with the expected format for a mystery or drama genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of foreboding and disappointment through Elizabeth's perspective as she arrives at the dilapidated Georgian house. The use of descriptive language, such as 'thick grey wet blanket' and 'pea-soup fog,' creates a vivid atmosphere that reflects Elizabeth's internal state. However, the emotional weight of her disappointment could be enhanced by incorporating more of her thoughts or feelings, perhaps through internal monologue or flashbacks that contrast her expectations with the reality she faces.
  • The transition from the exterior to the interior of the building is smooth, but the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further. For instance, describing the sounds of the elevator or the smell of the building could enhance the atmosphere and provide a deeper connection to Elizabeth's experience. Additionally, the visual of the limp silk roses on her hat is a nice touch, but it could be expanded upon to symbolize her emotional state more explicitly.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well for this scene, but it might be beneficial to include a brief exchange between Elizabeth and the House Detective as she enters the building. This could serve to highlight her apprehension and provide a moment of connection or contrast with the detective's demeanor, further emphasizing her isolation in this moment.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but the elevator sequence feels slightly rushed. Taking a moment to linger on Elizabeth's actions as she struggles with the elevator could heighten the tension and reflect her growing doubts about the visit. This could also serve as a metaphor for her own struggles, paralleling Bertie's challenges with speech.
  • Overall, the scene sets up an important moment in the narrative, but it could be strengthened by deepening Elizabeth's emotional journey and enhancing the sensory details to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding internal monologue or flashbacks for Elizabeth to convey her expectations versus the reality of the situation, enhancing her emotional depth.
  • Incorporate more sensory details, such as sounds and smells, to create a richer atmosphere and deepen the audience's connection to Elizabeth's experience.
  • Include a brief dialogue exchange between Elizabeth and the House Detective to highlight her apprehension and provide a moment of connection.
  • Slow down the pacing during the elevator sequence to build tension and reflect Elizabeth's growing doubts about the visit.
  • Use the limp silk roses as a more explicit symbol of Elizabeth's emotional state, perhaps by having her reflect on their significance as she enters the building.



Scene 8 -  Breaking Royal Barriers
INT. WAITING ROOM, LOGUE’S CHAMBERS - CONTINUOUS

Umbrella stand, coat rack, wooden waiting bench: that’s all.

She looks about. The area is devoid of life. Coughs. No
response. Calls imperiously:
8


ELIZABETH
Hello. Is anyone there?

From behind a door:

MUFFLED VOICE (O.S.)
I’m just in the loo.

Princess Elizabeth is not used to this sort of thing. She’s
further appalled by the loud gurgling of a toilet being
flushed, and startled by the entrance of - LIONEL LOGUE - a
tall, middle-aged man with strong features. His demeanor is
friendly, yet professional.

LIONEL
“Poor and content is rich and rich
enough”

ELIZABETH
I beg your pardon?

LIONEL
Shakespeare. I’m sorry, there’s no
receptionist. I like to keep things
simple. How are you Mrs Johnson?
I’m afraid you’re late.

Offers his hand. She takes it, a little gingerly.

ELIZABETH
I’m afraid I am.

LIONEL
Where’s Mr Johnson?

ELIZABETH
He doesn’t know I’m here.

LIONEL
That’s not a promising start.

ELIZABETH
My husband has seen everyone to no
avail. He’s given up hope.

LIONEL
He hasn’t seen me.

ELIZABETH
You’re awfully sure of yourself.

LIONEL
I’m sure of anyone who wants to be
cured.
9


ELIZABETH
Naturally he wishes to be cured. My
husband is required to speak
publicly.

LIONEL
Perhaps he should change jobs.

ELIZABETH
He can’t.

LIONEL
Indentured servitude?

ELIZABETH
Something of that nature.

LIONEL
Well have your hubby pop
by...Tuesday would be good...to
give his personal history and I’ll
make a frank appraisal.

ELIZABETH
I do not have a “hubby”. We don’t
‘pop’. We never talk about our
private lives. You must come to us.

LIONEL
Sorry, Mrs J, my game, my turf, my
rules.

ELIZABETH
And what if my husband were the
Duke of York?

LIONEL
The Duke of York?

ELIZABETH
Yes the Duke of York.

LIONEL
I thought the appointment was for
“Johnson”? Forgive me, your
Royal...?

ELIZABETH
Highness.

LIONEL
Your Royal Highness.

ELIZABETH
Johnson was used during the Great
War when the Navy didn’t want the
enemy to know ‘he’ was aboard.
(MORE)
10

ELIZABETH (CONT'D)
We are operating under the
strictest of confidences.

LIONEL
Of course. I’m considered the
enemy?

ELIZABETH
You will be if you remain un-
obliging.

LIONEL
How did you find me?

ELIZABETH
The President of the Speech
Therapists Society.

LIONEL
Eileen McCleod? She’s a sport.

ELIZABETH
Dr McCleod warned me your
antipodean methods were “unorthodox
and controversial”. I warned
her...they were not my favorite
words.

LIONEL
I succeed.

ELIZABETH
So she says.

LIONEL
I can cure your husband. But for my
method to work there must be trust
and total equality in the safety of
my consultation room. No
exceptions.

ELIZABETH
Well then, in that case...

Pause.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
When can you start?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the waiting room of Lionel Logue's chambers, Princess Elizabeth confronts her discomfort with Logue's informal style while seeking help for her husband, the Duke of York, who struggles with public speaking. Despite her initial reservations about maintaining royal decorum, Elizabeth engages in a serious discussion with Logue, who emphasizes the importance of trust and equality in his unconventional methods. The tension between their contrasting approaches gradually resolves as Elizabeth agrees to Logue's terms, signaling her willingness to proceed with her husband's treatment.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Unique premise
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively static setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, introducing the conflict of the Duke's speech impediment and the potential solution through Logue's unconventional methods. The dialogue is engaging and sets up the dynamic between Elizabeth and Logue effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of seeking unconventional speech therapy for a royal figure adds depth and intrigue to the narrative. The scene introduces a unique approach to addressing the Duke's speech impediment, setting the stage for character development and growth.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Elizabeth seeking help for her husband's speech impediment, laying the foundation for the challenges and growth the characters will face throughout the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the historical context of speech therapy for British royalty. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Elizabeth and Logue are well-developed in this scene, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their initial interaction sets the stage for a complex and engaging relationship to unfold.

Character Changes: 8

The scene sets the stage for potential character growth and development, particularly for the Duke of York as he embarks on a journey to overcome his speech impediment.

Internal Goal: 8

Princess Elizabeth's internal goal is to find a solution to her husband's speech impediment, reflecting her deeper desire for her husband to succeed in his public speaking duties.

External Goal: 7.5

Princess Elizabeth's external goal is to convince Logue to help her husband with his speech therapy, reflecting the immediate challenge of finding a suitable speech therapist.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around the Duke's speech impediment and the potential solution offered by Logue. The tension between Elizabeth and Logue adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition between Elizabeth's aristocratic background and Logue's unconventional methods creates a strong conflict that drives the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high in the scene, as the Duke's ability to speak publicly and fulfill his royal duties is at risk due to his speech impediment. The potential solution offered by Logue raises the stakes and adds urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the main conflict and potential resolution, setting up the narrative trajectory for the characters' development and challenges.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the power dynamics between Elizabeth and Logue, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome of their interaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between traditional aristocratic values and Logue's unconventional methods. This challenges Elizabeth's beliefs in the established norms of society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as it sets up the personal struggles and challenges the characters will face in the story. The tension and stakes are subtly conveyed, drawing the audience into the characters' journey.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and serves to establish the characters' personalities and motivations effectively. The exchanges between Elizabeth and Logue are sharp and reveal underlying tensions and desires.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the witty banter between Elizabeth and Logue, as well as the tension surrounding the speech therapy consultation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character motivations, leading to a compelling narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven historical drama, with clear character motivations and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the contrast between Elizabeth's royal expectations and Lionel's unconventional approach. However, the initial setting feels somewhat sterile and lacks sensory details that could enhance the atmosphere. Describing the waiting room with more vivid imagery could help immerse the audience in the environment.
  • The dialogue between Elizabeth and Lionel is engaging and showcases their differing perspectives. However, some exchanges feel a bit too on-the-nose, particularly when they discuss trust and equality. Subtlety could enhance the tension and intrigue, allowing the audience to infer the stakes rather than having them explicitly stated.
  • Lionel's character comes across as confident and somewhat cheeky, which is effective, but there could be more depth to his motivations. Adding a line or two that hints at his own struggles or past experiences could create a more layered character and make his confidence feel earned rather than merely a personality trait.
  • Elizabeth's character is portrayed as assertive, but her reactions could be more nuanced. Instead of simply being appalled by Lionel's methods, showing her internal conflict or vulnerability could make her more relatable and complex. This would also enhance the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from Elizabeth's initial discomfort to her willingness to engage with Lionel feels abrupt. A moment of hesitation or reflection before she agrees to his terms could add depth to her character arc and make her decision feel more significant.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the sensory details of the waiting room to create a more vivid atmosphere. Consider describing the sounds, smells, and visual elements that contribute to the setting.
  • Introduce more subtext in the dialogue. Instead of having characters state their intentions directly, allow their words to imply deeper meanings and conflicts.
  • Add a line or two that provides insight into Lionel's background or motivations, which could help the audience connect with him on a deeper level.
  • Show more of Elizabeth's internal struggle. Perhaps include a moment where she reflects on her husband's challenges or her own feelings about seeking help, which would add complexity to her character.
  • Include a brief pause or moment of hesitation before Elizabeth agrees to Lionel's terms, allowing the audience to feel the weight of her decision and the stakes involved.



Scene 9 -  Family Dinner Antics
EXT. SOUTH KENSINGTON STREET - LATE AFTERNOON

A well-used Morris Oxford pulls up, driven by Lionel’s eldest
son - LAURIE. Lionel is the passenger. As he gets out:

LIONEL
Still sounds a bit rough.
11


LAURIE
You make me drive too slowly, Dad!

LIONEL
Did you pick mum up from Bridge?

LAURIE
Yes, I’ve hardly been out of the
car all day.

They enter a modest dwelling.


INT. DINING AREA OF LIVING-ROOM, LOGUE FLAT - EVENING

Lionel and MYRTLE are finishing up at the table with their
three sons. As well as Laurie and ANTONY, there’s their
studious middle son VALENTINE, 17, his nose buried in a stack
of science books.

Lionel is bursting to tell Myrtle something.

LIONEL
I had a special visitor today.

ANTONY
May I be excused?

MYRTLE
(to Lionel)
Oh yes?

LIONEL
You must stay, bored stupid,
listening to your parents’ inane
conversation.

ANTONY
(grinning)
Thanks, dad!

LIONEL
And mum.

ANTONY
And mum!

MYRTLE
How special is special?

LAURIE
Me too?

LIONEL
A girl?

LAURIE
What else?
12


He and Antony start to leave.

MYRTLE
Take your plates.

LIONEL
Special to the point of someone I
can’t really talk about.

The boys grabs their plates and exit. Lionel looks at
Valentine, nose still buried in his text.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Doctor? Doctor? You can go as well.

VALENTINE
(still studying)
I’m fine.

Lionel clears Valentine’s plate. Valentine goes back to his
book and scientific oblivion.

MYRTLE
Not too high and mighty I hope?

LIONEL
Aah.

Antony burst back in, model airplane in hand, doing barrel
rolls with sound effects, bombing Valentine with a tea towel.

MYRTLE
Not someone who’d...call attention?
Why bring it up if you can’t talk
about it?

Silence.

LIONEL
Myrtle, just a woman looking to
help her husband.

They realize from engine noises that Antony is under the
table.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
(trying to make light of
it, not quite succeeding)
And I had a ‘call’.

MYRTLE
Oh yes.

Valentine looks up from his book.

VALENTINE
What’s the Illiotibial Tract, Dad?
13


LIONEL
If you don’t know, look it up.

VALENTINE
Right.

Starts turning pages.

LIONEL
Could be fun.

MYRTLE
It always is.

LIONEL
They’re a highly regarded group.
From Putney.

MYRTLE
I’m sure you’ll be splendid.
Genres: ["Drama","Family"]

Summary Lionel and his son Laurie return home to share news about a special visitor, but their dinner conversation is interrupted by their sons, Antony and Valentine. While Lionel struggles to elaborate on the visitor's identity, playful banter ensues, showcasing the lively dynamics of the family. Myrtle encourages Lionel to share his news, adding to the warmth of the scene. The evening concludes with Myrtle expressing confidence in Lionel's potential involvement with a prestigious group.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Dynamic family interactions
  • Subtle character development
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited external plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes the family dynamic and sets up intrigue with the mention of a special visitor. The dialogue is engaging and reveals subtle tensions and connections between the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a family dinner revealing hints of a special visitor adds depth to the characters and sets up intrigue for future developments. The scene effectively balances light-hearted moments with underlying tensions.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses subtly through the interactions at the family dinner, setting up future revelations and character developments. The scene adds layers to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to family dynamics by blending humor with underlying tension and secrecy. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed through their interactions and dialogue, showcasing their personalities and relationships within the family. Each character has distinct traits that add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints at character growth and revelations, particularly in Lionel's interactions with his family. The scene sets up potential changes and developments for the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to share a special visitor experience with his wife, hinting at a desire for connection and validation from his family.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain a sense of normalcy and routine in his family life despite the mysterious visitor, reflecting a need for stability and control.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on the dynamics and relationships within the family rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and suspense, with the protagonist's secretive behavior and the family's curiosity adding layers to the story.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character interactions and relationships within the family.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by hinting at future developments and setting up key relationships and dynamics. It adds depth to the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the mysterious visitor and the protagonist's secretive behavior, creating intrigue and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's need for secrecy and his wife's desire for transparency and honesty in their relationship. This challenges the protagonist's values of protecting his family from potential harm.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of warmth and familiarity, drawing the audience into the family's world. While not highly emotional, it establishes a connection with the characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging, witty, and reveals nuances in the characters' relationships. It adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience invested in the family dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, relatable family dynamics, and underlying tension. The interactions between characters keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and action to keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a family drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamics of a family dinner, showcasing the playful banter and interactions among the Logue family. However, the dialogue can feel a bit disjointed at times, lacking a clear focus on the central theme of Lionel's special visitor. This could lead to confusion for the audience regarding the significance of the conversation.
  • Lionel's eagerness to share news about a special visitor is a strong emotional anchor for the scene, but the subsequent interruptions from the children dilute the impact of this moment. While the interruptions add a layer of realism, they could be better balanced to maintain the tension and anticipation surrounding the visitor.
  • The character of Valentine, who is absorbed in his studies, serves as a contrast to the lively interactions of the other family members. However, his presence feels underutilized. A more active engagement from him could enhance the scene's depth and provide additional layers to the family dynamics.
  • The dialogue often relies on humor, which is effective in establishing a light-hearted tone. However, it may overshadow the underlying tension regarding Lionel's visitor. A more nuanced approach to the humor could help maintain the balance between levity and the seriousness of the situation.
  • The scene ends somewhat abruptly without a strong emotional resolution or a clear transition to the next scene. This could leave the audience feeling unsatisfied. A more defined conclusion or a moment of reflection from Lionel could enhance the emotional weight of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to focus more on Lionel's anticipation of the special visitor. This could involve reducing the number of interruptions from the children or allowing Lionel to express his excitement more directly.
  • Introduce a moment where Lionel shares a hint about the visitor's identity or significance, creating a stronger sense of intrigue and anticipation for the audience.
  • Explore Valentine’s character further by having him engage in the conversation, perhaps questioning Lionel about the visitor or expressing his own thoughts, which could add depth to the family dynamic.
  • Balance the humor with moments of seriousness by allowing Lionel to express his concerns or excitement more openly, which would help maintain the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • End the scene with a more impactful moment, such as Lionel reflecting on the importance of the visitor or a shared look with Myrtle that conveys their mutual understanding of the situation.



Scene 10 -  A Night of Stories and Love
EXT. YORK HOUSE, 145 PICADILLY - NIGHT

Lights are on in the upper windows. A double-decker bus
passes on the wet street.

ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Tomorrow, Chapter IV.


INT. CORRIDOR, 145 PICCADILLY - CONTINUOUS

PAN OVER THE BACKS of 36 impeccably groomed horses. It takes
a moment to realize they are toy horses, lined up with
precision.

ELIZABETH (V.O.)
‘The Flight’.

BERTIE (V.O.)
Oh, to fly away!


INT. CHILDREN’S NURSERY, YORK HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Elizabeth, fashionably attired for an evening-out, is curled
on a bearskin rug reading to a little girl - LILIBET, 10 -
who claps her hands primly, and her younger sister - MARGARET
ROSE, 5.

As Elizabeth closes the book (”Peter Pan”), Bertie, handsome
in a tuxedo, comments:

BERTIE
Weren’t they lucky!

Within his family Bertie’s stammer is virtually absent.
14


MARGARET ROSE
Now Papa tell a story!

BERTIE
Could I be a penguin instead?

He drops to his knees and waddles. In his tux he looks like
a penguin. Margaret Rose giggles, but is undeterred.

MARGARET ROSE
Tell me a penguin story, please.

Called upon to perform, the stammer returns slightly, but the
girls listen raptly, ignoring their father’s minor
impediment, and it fades.

BERTIE
There were once two princesses
whose Papa had been turned into a
penguin by the local witch. This
was inconvenient because he loved
to hold his princesses in his arms
and you can’t do that if you’re a
penguin, you have wings like
herrings.

MARGARET ROSE
Herrings don’t have wings.

BERTIE
His wings were the shape of
herrings. To make matters worse she
sent him to the South Pole which is
an awfully long walk if you can’t
fly.

LILIBET
You can’t walk from the South Pole!

ELIZABETH
Shh!

BERTIE
Exactly. When he reached the water
and dived in he found he could fly.
Fly through the depths. So fast, in
fact, that he was in Southampton
Waters by lunchtime. From there he
caught the 2.30 to Weybridge,
changed at Clapham Junction and
asked a passing Mallard the way to
Buckingham Palace. He swam up the
Thames and came out of a plughole,
giving Mama, the cook and Mrs
Whittaker quite a shock.
(MORE)
15

BERTIE (CONT'D)
The princesses heard the commotion
and hurried to the kitchen where
they gave the penguin a good scrub,
a mackerel and a kiss. And as they
kissed him guess what he turned
into?

LILIBET AND MARGARET ROSE
A handsome prince!

BERTIE
A short-tailed Albatross. With
wings big enough to wrap around
both his precious girls together.
(He hugs them both
together)

ELIZABETH
Now time for bed.

BERTIE
Take the saddles of your horsies,
brush them, feed them and to bed.
Genres: ["Drama","Family"]

Summary In a cozy nursery at York House, Elizabeth reads 'Peter Pan' to her daughters, Lilibet and Margaret Rose. Bertie, dressed in a tuxedo, captivates the girls with a whimsical story about a penguin prince, overcoming his stammer with their support. The scene is filled with warmth and familial love, culminating in a tender moment as Elizabeth announces bedtime, and Bertie reminds the girls to care for their toy horses before sleeping.
Strengths
  • Heartwarming family dynamic
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Whimsical storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the warmth and playfulness of a family dynamic, showcasing Bertie's endearing relationship with his daughters and Elizabeth. The blend of fantasy storytelling and real-life interactions adds depth and charm to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of blending fantasy storytelling with a family moment is innovative and engaging, providing insight into Bertie's character and his ability to connect with his daughters despite his stammer. The scene effectively balances whimsy with emotional depth.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene does not significantly advance the main plot, it serves as a crucial character-building moment for Bertie, showcasing his relationship with his family and his storytelling abilities. It adds depth to his character and sets the tone for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to bedtime storytelling, blending fantasy with reality in a charming and creative way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed in this scene, particularly Bertie, Elizabeth, and the children. Their interactions feel authentic and heartfelt, showcasing their individual personalities and relationships within the family.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, it deepens the audience's understanding of Bertie's relationship with his family and his storytelling abilities. It showcases his vulnerability and strength as a father.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to entertain and bond with his daughters through storytelling, showcasing his creativity and love for his family.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to ensure his daughters have a good bedtime routine and go to bed on time.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 2

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing instead on a heartwarming family moment and Bertie's storytelling. The conflict is internal, as Bertie navigates his stammer while engaging with his daughters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is mild, with the challenge being the protagonist's stammer and the need to entertain his daughters, creating a light-hearted conflict.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are low in this scene, focusing on a personal and intimate family moment rather than external conflicts or high drama. The emphasis is on emotional connection and character development.

Story Forward: 6

The scene does not significantly move the main plot forward but provides essential character development for Bertie and sets the tone for future interactions. It enriches the audience's connection to the characters and their world.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in the sense of how the bedtime routine is intertwined with a fantastical story, adding an element of surprise and creativity.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between the mundane reality of bedtime routines and the imaginative world of storytelling, highlighting the balance between responsibility and creativity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of warmth, nostalgia, and joy through the interactions between Bertie, Elizabeth, and the children. The storytelling adds a layer of whimsy and emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and playful, reflecting the dynamic between Bertie and his daughters. The storytelling elements add a whimsical touch, enhancing the emotional connection between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, warmth, and imaginative storytelling, keeping the audience captivated throughout.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, with a smooth flow between dialogue and action, maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, fitting the expected format for a family-oriented drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a warm family moment, showcasing Bertie's ability to connect with his daughters despite his speech impediment. This contrast between his public struggles and private ease is poignant and adds depth to his character.
  • The use of voiceovers from Elizabeth and Bertie at the beginning sets a reflective tone, hinting at the significance of the moment. However, the transition from the voiceover to the action could be smoother to maintain the emotional flow.
  • The dialogue is playful and imaginative, particularly Bertie's story about the penguin, which serves to highlight his creativity and the innocence of childhood. However, the story could be tightened to enhance its impact and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The children's reactions are well-written, showcasing their innocence and the familial bond. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct voices for Lilibet and Margaret Rose to further differentiate their personalities.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the transition from the story to the bedtime routine feels abrupt. A more gradual shift could enhance the emotional resonance of the moment, allowing the audience to savor the warmth before moving to the next action.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the voiceover transitions to create a more seamless flow into the action, perhaps by integrating the voiceover more closely with the visuals.
  • Tighten Bertie's penguin story by focusing on key elements that drive the narrative forward, ensuring it remains engaging without losing the whimsical tone.
  • Differentiate Lilibet and Margaret Rose's dialogue further to give each character a unique voice, enhancing their individuality and making the scene more dynamic.
  • Add a moment of reflection or a shared glance between Bertie and Elizabeth after the story, reinforcing their connection and the significance of the family moment.
  • Consider incorporating a visual cue or action that signifies the end of the story and the transition to bedtime, such as the girls yawning or Bertie glancing at a clock, to create a smoother narrative flow.



Scene 11 -  Dinner Dilemmas
INT. STAIRCASE - CONTINUOUS

As they leave for the night:

ELIZABETH
Will she be there?

BERTIE
My brother’s insisting.

ELIZABETH
Is he serious?

BERTIE
About our coming to dinner?

ELIZABETH
No. About her!

BERTIE
A married American? He can’t be.

ELIZABETH
She can. By the way I think I found
someone rather interesting. On
Harley Street. A doctor.

BERTIE
Out of the question. I’m not having
this conversation again. The
matter’s settled.
16


ELIZABETH
His approach seems rather
different....
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As Elizabeth and Bertie descend the staircase, they discuss the upcoming dinner invitation for a married American woman, which Elizabeth finds concerning. Bertie dismisses her worries, insisting the dinner will proceed as planned. The conversation shifts to a doctor Elizabeth is interested in, but Bertie firmly shuts down this topic, asserting that the matter is settled, leaving Elizabeth's concerns unresolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the internal conflict of the characters while setting up a significant dilemma for Bertie and Elizabeth. The dialogue and interactions are engaging, and the emotional depth adds complexity to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the personal struggles of royalty within the historical context is intriguing and offers a unique perspective on the challenges faced by individuals in positions of power. The scene introduces compelling themes of duty, identity, and personal growth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging, focusing on the conflict between Bertie's reluctance to seek treatment for his speech impediment and Elizabeth's efforts to help him. The tension builds effectively, setting the stage for future developments in their relationship and Bertie's personal journey.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on traditional themes of love and marriage, with characters who defy societal expectations and challenge norms. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding a layer of originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with nuanced emotions and motivations that drive the scene forward. Bertie and Elizabeth's dynamic is particularly compelling, showcasing their love and the challenges they face as members of the royal family.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie experiences a subtle shift in his perspective as he grapples with the decision to seek treatment for his speech impediment. Elizabeth also demonstrates her determination to support him, showcasing her strength and loyalty.

Internal Goal: 8

Elizabeth's internal goal is to find a suitable partner, as indicated by her interest in the doctor on Harley Street. This reflects her desire for companionship and possibly security in a marriage.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate social expectations and family pressures regarding marriage and relationships. This is evident in the conversation about attending dinner and potential suitors.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bertie's reluctance to seek treatment for his speech impediment and Elizabeth's efforts to support him. The emotional conflict between duty and personal desires adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and hidden agendas creating tension and uncertainty. The characters' motivations are not fully revealed, adding complexity to their interactions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Bertie and Elizabeth, as they navigate the pressures of royal life and the personal challenges they face. The scene sets up a significant dilemma that will have lasting consequences for their relationship and Bertie's future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts and character dynamics that will drive future plot developments. It sets the stage for Bertie's personal journey and the challenges he will face in overcoming his speech impediment.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting desires and hidden agendas. The audience is left unsure of the outcome of their interactions, adding suspense and intrigue to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around societal expectations and personal desires. Elizabeth's interest in the doctor challenges traditional views on marriage and social status, while Bertie's resistance reflects the importance of upholding family traditions and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing viewers into the characters' struggles and relationships. The intimate moments between Bertie and Elizabeth evoke empathy and create a sense of connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' inner thoughts and conflicts effectively. The conversations between Bertie and Elizabeth are poignant, highlighting their differing perspectives and the complexities of their relationship.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, subtle conflicts, and intriguing character dynamics. The tension between the characters keeps the audience invested in their relationships and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and revealing character dynamics gradually. The rhythm of the dialogue adds depth to the interactions and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions are concise and effective in setting the tone and atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the dialogue. The pacing and rhythm are effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Elizabeth and Bertie regarding the dinner invitation and the potential presence of the American woman. However, the dialogue feels somewhat stilted and could benefit from more naturalistic exchanges that reflect their established relationship and emotional stakes.
  • Bertie's dismissal of Elizabeth's suggestion about the doctor comes off as abrupt and lacks depth. This could be an opportunity to explore his fears and insecurities regarding his speech impediment and the stigma associated with seeking help, which would add layers to his character.
  • The scene lacks visual and emotional engagement. While the dialogue conveys the conflict, the setting of a staircase feels static and uninspired. Incorporating more dynamic actions or gestures could enhance the emotional weight of the conversation.
  • The stakes of the conversation could be heightened. As it stands, the dialogue feels like a simple disagreement rather than a pivotal moment in their relationship. Adding subtext or a sense of urgency could make the scene more impactful.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is somewhat abrupt. A brief moment that reflects on the warmth of the previous scene with the children could serve as a contrast to the tension in this scene, emphasizing the strain in Bertie and Elizabeth's relationship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical actions or gestures to accompany the dialogue, such as Elizabeth pacing or Bertie leaning against the wall, to create a more dynamic visual experience.
  • Explore Bertie's internal conflict regarding the doctor more deeply. Perhaps he could express a fear of being judged or a reluctance to confront his issues, which would make his rejection of Elizabeth's suggestion more relatable.
  • Incorporate subtext into the dialogue. For example, Elizabeth could hint at her own frustrations or fears about their situation, which would add depth to their exchange and make it feel more authentic.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by having Elizabeth express her concerns more passionately or by revealing her own vulnerabilities regarding the dinner invitation and the implications of Bertie's brother's choices.
  • Consider starting the scene with a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue that connects it to the previous scene, such as a lingering shot of the children's nursery or a mention of the girls, to create a smoother transition.



Scene 12 -  The Audition
INT. A STAGE - DAY

In a church or school hall, out of hours.

MUFFLED VOICE (O.S.)
Now?

From the auditorium:

DIRECTOR (O.C.)
Now!

Lionel comes onstage.

LIONEL
“Now...”
(begins again)
“Now is the winter of our
discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of
York.”

His elocution is flawless. The acting is unconvincing.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
“And all the clouds that lour’d
upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean
buried.
Now are our brows bound with
victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for
monuments...”

DIRECTOR
Thank you.

Lionel peers into the darkness, his eyes hoping.

DIRECTOR (CONT’D)
Lovely diction, Mr...

LIONEL
Logue. Lionel Logue.

DIRECTOR
Well, Lionel, I didn’t hear the
cries of a deformed creature
yearning to be King. Nor did I
realize Richard the Third was King
of the Colonies.
17


LIONEL
I know the lines. I’ve played the
role before.

DIRECTOR
Sydney?

LIONEL
Perth.

DIRECTOR
Major theater town, is it?

LIONEL
Enthusiastic.

DIRECTOR
Ah.

LIONEL
I was well reviewed.

DIRECTOR
Yes...well...Lionel, I think our
dramatic society is looking for
someone slightly younger and a
little more regal.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In an empty church or school hall, Lionel Logue auditions for the role of Richard III, delivering his lines with technical skill but lacking the emotional depth the director desires. Despite Lionel's defense of his experience and past acclaim, the director critiques his performance, indicating they seek a younger actor with more gravitas. The scene culminates in disappointment as the director suggests Lionel is not the right fit, leaving his aspirations unfulfilled.
Strengths
  • Well-defined characters
  • Effective setup of conflict
  • Introduction of key themes
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Execution could be more engaging

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively sets up the conflict between Lionel's desire to perform and the director's expectations, creating tension and intrigue. However, the execution could be more engaging to elevate the impact of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7.5

The concept of Lionel auditioning for a role he is not quite suited for adds depth to his character and sets the stage for potential growth and development. It also introduces the theme of ambition and self-perception.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around Lionel's audition and the feedback he receives, setting up a conflict that can potentially drive future events. However, the plot could benefit from more dynamic interactions and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the audition process, focusing on the clash between traditional and modern acting styles. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Lionel and the director are well-defined in the scene, showcasing their contrasting personalities and motivations. There is potential for character growth and conflict resolution in future scenes.

Character Changes: 7

Lionel experiences a minor setback in his audition, which could potentially lead to character growth and self-discovery in future scenes. The scene sets the stage for potential changes in Lionel's aspirations and self-perception.

Internal Goal: 8

Lionel's internal goal is to prove his acting abilities and talent to the director, showcasing his elocution skills and passion for the role. This reflects his deeper desire for recognition and validation as an actor.

External Goal: 7

Lionel's external goal is to impress the director and secure a role in the dramatic society. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in auditioning for a part.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between Lionel's desire to perform and the director's expectations creates a moderate level of tension in the scene, hinting at potential challenges and growth for the characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Lionel faces criticism and rejection from the director. The audience is left wondering how Lionel will respond to this challenge and whether he will overcome it.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are moderate in the scene, with Lionel facing a disappointing audition, there is potential for higher stakes and increased tension in future developments.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a key conflict and potential character development for Lionel. It sets the stage for future events and challenges that could drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected criticism from the director and Lionel's confident responses. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the audition will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between traditional expectations of acting and Lionel's unconventional approach. The director's criticism of Lionel's performance challenges his beliefs about acting and his own abilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a moderate emotional response through the disappointment and hopefulness conveyed by the characters. However, there is room for deeper emotional engagement to enhance the impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension between Lionel and the director, as well as Lionel's past experiences and aspirations. However, there is room for more impactful exchanges to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, character dynamics, and thematic conflict. The audience is drawn into the tension between Lionel and the director, rooting for Lionel to prove himself as an actor.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character interactions. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to standard screenplay conventions, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy audition scene, with clear character introductions, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Lionel Logue's character as confident yet somewhat out of place in the theatrical setting. However, the contrast between his flawless diction and unconvincing acting could be more pronounced to emphasize the disconnect between technical skill and emotional depth, which is central to his character's journey.
  • The dialogue between Lionel and the director feels somewhat flat and lacks emotional stakes. While it serves to convey the director's critique, it could benefit from more tension or conflict to engage the audience. The director's dismissive attitude could be amplified to create a more palpable sense of rejection for Lionel.
  • The setting of a church or school hall is appropriate, but it could be described in more detail to enhance the atmosphere. Adding sensory details about the space—such as the acoustics, lighting, or even the audience's reactions—could help ground the scene and make it more immersive.
  • Lionel's backstory about performing in Perth is a nice touch, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the immediate scene. Integrating this information more seamlessly into the dialogue could enhance the flow and provide context for his character's aspirations and frustrations.
  • The scene ends abruptly after the director's final line, which may leave the audience wanting more. A brief moment of reflection from Lionel after the rejection could add depth to his character and set up his motivations for seeking out the Duke of York.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional weight to Lionel's performance by incorporating his internal struggle with self-doubt or ambition. This could be reflected in his body language or facial expressions as he performs.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Lionel and the director by introducing more conflict. Perhaps the director could make a personal remark that stings, prompting Lionel to defend his experience more passionately.
  • Include more vivid descriptions of the setting to create a stronger sense of place. For example, describe the lighting, the audience's reactions, or the acoustics of the hall to immerse the viewer in the scene.
  • Integrate Lionel's background more fluidly into the conversation. Instead of a standalone mention of Perth, have him reference specific experiences or reviews that shaped his confidence and desire to perform.
  • Add a moment of introspection for Lionel after the director's dismissal. This could be a silent beat where he processes the rejection, perhaps looking out into the audience or reflecting on his dreams, which would deepen the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 13 -  Elevator Antics
INT. GROUND FLOOR ENTRANCE, 146 HARLEY STREET

The Yorks enter the tiny elevator.

Bertie shuts the inner gate.

ELIZABETH
(indicating outer gate)
No, darling, shut that one first.

Bertie gets the gates closed and Elizabeth presses the
button.

BERTIE
How did you find this...physician?

ELIZABETH
(poker-faced)
Classifieds, next to “French model,
Shepherd’s Market”.

Bertie tries to smile despite his mood, but doesn’t make a
job of it.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
He comes highly recommended.
Charges substantial fees in order
to help the poor. (realizes) Oh
dear, perhaps he’s a Bolshevik?!
18
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a cramped elevator at 146 Harley Street, Elizabeth and Bertie York prepare for a visit to a physician. As Bertie closes the gates, he expresses his apprehension about the appointment, prompting Elizabeth to use humor to lighten the mood. She makes a deadpan remark about finding the physician in the classifieds and speculates about his political leanings based on his high fees. Despite her attempts to inject levity, Bertie's somber demeanor persists, creating a blend of light-heartedness and underlying tension as they navigate their emotions in the confined space.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of tension and humor
  • Well-developed characters
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of secondary characters
  • Potential lack of diversity in perspectives

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends tension, humor, and historical context, providing insight into the characters' relationship and the challenges they face.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the Duke's speech impediment and the unconventional treatment, adds depth to the characters and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances as the Duke and Duchess seek a solution to the Duke's speech impediment, setting up potential conflicts and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique situation where a physician charges substantial fees to help the poor, adding a layer of complexity to the characters' motivations and beliefs. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with the Duke's anxiety and the Duchess's wit shining through, creating a compelling dynamic that drives the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The Duke's frustration and the Duchess's wit showcase potential character growth and development, setting the stage for change.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to maintain a positive attitude despite his mood, as seen in his attempt to smile. This reflects his desire to keep up appearances and not let his emotions show.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to visit the physician and potentially seek medical help. This reflects the immediate challenge of addressing health concerns.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between the Duke's speech impediment and the unconventional treatment sets the stage for potential challenges and growth.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle, with the potential conflict arising from the uncertainty surrounding the physician's intentions and the class dynamics at play.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate, focusing on the Duke's speech impediment and the potential impact on his public image and role.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a key challenge and potential solution, setting up future conflicts and character development.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelation about the physician potentially being a Bolshevik, adding a twist to the otherwise mundane elevator conversation.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the idea of a physician charging substantial fees to help the poor, which could be seen as contradictory. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about healthcare and social responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, from anxiety to humor, engaging the audience and creating a connection to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and the societal norms of the time, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter between the characters, the underlying tension, and the mystery surrounding the physician and his motives.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through the characters' interactions and dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven interaction in a screenplay, with clear character actions and dialogue driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of intimacy and humor between Bertie and Elizabeth, showcasing their relationship dynamics. However, the humor feels somewhat forced, particularly in Elizabeth's line about the classifieds. While it aims to lighten the mood, it may come off as too on-the-nose and detracts from the underlying tension of the situation. The stakes of visiting a physician for Bertie's speech impediment should be more pronounced, and the humor could be more subtle to maintain the emotional weight.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks depth. Elizabeth's quip about the physician being a Bolshevik is a missed opportunity to explore her character further. Instead of a one-liner, consider adding a line that reveals her own anxieties or hopes regarding the physician's potential impact on Bertie's speech. This would create a more layered interaction and deepen the audience's understanding of her character.
  • The physical action of closing the gates in the elevator is a nice touch, but it could be used more effectively to symbolize Bertie's struggle with control in his life. Perhaps the act of shutting the gates could be more fraught with tension, reflecting Bertie's internal conflict about seeking help for his stammer. This would enhance the visual storytelling and provide a richer emotional context.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc. While it starts with a light-hearted tone, it doesn't transition into a more serious or reflective moment that could resonate with the audience. Consider incorporating a moment of vulnerability from Bertie, where he expresses his fears about the physician or his speech impediment, allowing Elizabeth to respond with reassurance. This would create a more dynamic emotional journey within the scene.
Suggestions
  • Revise Elizabeth's humor to be more subtle and nuanced, perhaps by incorporating a line that reflects her own worries about the physician's effectiveness rather than relying solely on a joke.
  • Add a moment where Bertie expresses his apprehension about the visit, allowing Elizabeth to provide comfort and support, which would deepen their emotional connection and enhance the stakes of the scene.
  • Consider using the physical action of closing the elevator gates as a metaphor for Bertie's struggle with control and vulnerability. This could be emphasized through Bertie's hesitance or frustration during the action.
  • Introduce a brief moment of silence or reflection after the humor, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the situation before moving on. This could help balance the tone and create a more impactful scene.



Scene 14 -  The Johnsons' Visit
INT. LOGUE’S WAITING ROOM - DAY

Bertie and Elizabeth enter. She explains in a whisper:

ELIZABETH
No receptionist. He likes to keep
things simple.

Elizabeth glances nervously at the lavatory door.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
(loudly)
The Johnsons.

From the inner office.

LIONEL (O.S.)
Finishing up.

Elizabeth is relieved the voice isn’t coming from the lav.

The consultation room door opens and a young boy - WILLY -
comes out.

WILLY
You can go in now, “Mr. Johnson”.
(then to Elizabeth)
Dr Logue says...

LIONEL (O.S.)
Lionel!

WILLY
Lionel says...wait here if you
wish, Mrs Johnson. Or, it being a p-
pleasant day, p-perhaps take a
stroll.
(to the consultation room)
Was that alright...Lionel?

Lionel appears at the door.

LIONEL
Bloody marvellous. You can stay
here and wait for your mum. Mr.
Johnson, do come in.

Lionel nods at “Mrs Johnson”.

The Yorks look at each other. Elizabeth takes a seat.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Logue's simple waiting room, Elizabeth expresses her anxiety about the absence of a receptionist, while nervously announcing their names as 'the Johnsons.' A young boy named Willy exits the consultation room, humorously delivering Lionel's message that he is finishing up and offering Elizabeth the choice to wait or take a stroll. Lionel then appears, lightening the mood with his humor as he invites Bertie into the consultation room, leaving Elizabeth to sit and gather her nerves.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Intriguing setup for character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some predictable character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the nervous atmosphere of the characters while introducing the audience to the unique dynamics of the Logue's waiting room. The mix of tones keeps the scene engaging and provides depth to the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of the scene revolves around Bertie and Elizabeth seeking help for Bertie's speech impediment, setting up the central conflict and character development. The introduction of Logue's unconventional methods adds intrigue to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing the key conflict of Bertie's stammer and his willingness to seek help. The scene sets up the foundation for Bertie's character arc and the potential resolution of his speech issues.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of seeking medical help, adding layers of complexity through the characters' interactions and the subtle humor woven throughout.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bertie and Elizabeth are well-developed in the scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities and motivations. The introduction of Logue hints at a dynamic relationship that will impact Bertie's growth.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a subtle shift in his willingness to seek help for his speech impediment, setting the stage for potential growth and transformation. Elizabeth's support and concern also hint at her evolving role in Bertie's journey.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and navigate the unfamiliar situation with Dr. Logue. This reflects Elizabeth's deeper need for acceptance and validation in her role as a supportive wife to Bertie.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to successfully navigate the consultation with Dr. Logue and address Bertie's speech impediment. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in seeking help for Bertie's condition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and his reluctance to seek help. The tension between his desire for improvement and fear of failure drives the emotional stakes.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external challenges that add complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are moderately high, as Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment impacts his confidence and public image. The potential for improvement and the risk of failure add tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the central conflict of Bertie's speech impediment and his initial steps towards addressing it. The dynamics between the characters and the setting of Logue's waiting room add depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the characters and the subtle hints at underlying conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between maintaining appearances and seeking help for Bertie's speech impediment. Elizabeth must balance societal expectations with the need for medical intervention, challenging her beliefs about propriety and vulnerability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, eliciting feelings of anxiety, relief, and curiosity in the audience. The vulnerability of the characters and the potential for growth create a sense of empathy and investment in their journey.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and relief in the scene, capturing the characters' emotions and motivations. The interactions between Bertie, Elizabeth, and Logue are engaging and reveal key aspects of their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, subtle tension, and the anticipation of the consultation with Dr. Logue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and anticipation leading up to the consultation with Dr. Logue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and building tension leading to the consultation with Dr. Logue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the setting and introduces Lionel Logue through the perspective of Elizabeth and Bertie, creating a sense of anticipation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the tension between Elizabeth's nervousness and Bertie's demeanor. Currently, the dialogue feels somewhat straightforward and lacks the layered complexity that could make their interactions more engaging.
  • The use of the name 'Johnson' as a pseudonym for Bertie is clever and adds a layer of humor, but it could be emphasized further. Perhaps Elizabeth could express more concern about the implications of using a false name, which would deepen her character and highlight the stakes of their visit.
  • Willy's character is introduced but not fully utilized. His presence could be expanded to provide comic relief or to further illustrate the unconventional nature of Lionel's practice. Adding a brief moment where Willy interacts with Bertie or Elizabeth could enhance the scene's charm and provide a contrast to their tension.
  • The scene's pacing feels slightly rushed. The transition from Elizabeth's nervousness to the introduction of Willy and Lionel could be smoothed out to allow for more character development and emotional resonance. A moment of silence or a shared glance between Bertie and Elizabeth could heighten the tension before Willy enters.
  • The visual elements are somewhat limited in this scene. While the dialogue conveys the setting, incorporating more descriptive visuals could enhance the atmosphere. For example, describing the waiting room's decor or the sounds of the building could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding subtext to the dialogue to reflect Elizabeth's anxiety and Bertie's stoicism. This could involve more indirect communication or playful banter that hints at their underlying concerns.
  • Expand on Willy's character by giving him a quirky line or action that showcases his personality, making him a memorable part of the scene.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation or shared concern between Bertie and Elizabeth before Willy enters, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their situation.
  • Enhance the visual description of the waiting room to create a more vivid setting. Consider including details about the decor, lighting, or sounds that reflect the atmosphere of Lionel's practice.
  • Explore the implications of using the name 'Johnson' further in the dialogue, perhaps by having Elizabeth express concern about being discovered or making a joke about their situation to lighten the mood.



Scene 15 -  Clash of Wills
INT. LOGUE’S CONSULTATION ROOM - DAY

A different universe from the Spartan waiting area. A world
of books - piles of them spilling everywhere. Two slightly
shabby, but comfortable armchairs. Well-worn Turkish rug.
19


Hotplate and two chipped mugs. Recording apparatus. Model
airplanes.

LIONEL
He’s a good lad, Willy. He could
hardly make a sound, you know, when
he first came to me.

Lionel catches Bertie staring at the airplanes.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
My boys made those. Good, aren’t
they. Please, make yourself
comfortable.

Bertie sits uneasily on an armchair. Lionel goes to sit at a
distance.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
I was told not not to sit too
close.

Bertie remains silent.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
I was also told, speaking with a
Royal, one waits for the Royal to
choose the topic.

BERTIE
Waiting for me to commence a
conversation one can wait a rather
long wait.

[Although Bertie’s stammer in the consultation room will
fade, it is a gradual process.]

Silence.

LIONEL
Know any jokes?

BERTIE
Timing isn’t my strong suit.

Silence. They stare at each other.

LIONEL
Cuppa tea?

BERTIE
No thank you.

LIONEL
I think I’ll have one.

Turns on the hot plate.
20


BERTIE
Aren’t you going to start treating
me Dr Logue?

LIONEL
Only if you’re interested in being
treated. Please, call me Lionel.

BERTIE
I prefer Doctor.

LIONEL
I prefer Lionel. What’ll I call
you?

BERTIE
Your Royal Highness, then Sir after
that.

LIONEL
A bit formal for here. What about
your name?

BERTIE
Prince Albert Frederick Arthur
George?

LIONEL
How about Bertie?

BERTIE
(flushes)
Only my family uses that.

LIONEL
Perfect. In here, it’s better if
we’re equals.

BERTIE
If we were equal I wouldn’t be
here. I’d be at home with my wife
and no-one would give a damn.

Bertie starts to light a cigarette from a silver case.

LIONEL
Don’t do that.

Bertie gives him an astonished look.

BERTIE
I’m sorry?

LIONEL
Sucking smoke into your lungs will
kill you.
21


BERTIE
My physicians say it relaxes the
throat.

LIONEL
They’re idiots.

BERTIE
They’ve all been knighted.

LIONEL
Makes it official then. My
‘castle’, my rules. What was your
earliest memory?

BERTIE
What an earth do you mean?

LIONEL
First recollection.

BERTIE
(stammer growing in
intensity)
I’m not here to discuss personal
matters.

LIONEL
Why’re you here then?

BERTIE
(exploding - stammer free)
Because I bloody well stammer!

LIONEL
Temper.

BERTIE
One of my many faults.

LIONEL
When did the defect start?

BERTIE
I’ve always been this way!

LIONEL
(quietly)
I doubt that.

BERTIE
Don’t tell me! It’s my defect!

LIONEL
(calmly)
It’s my field. I assure you, no
infant starts to speak with a
stammer. When did it start?
22


BERTIE
(annoyed)
Four or five.

LIONEL
That’s typical.

BERTIE
So I’ve been told.
(quickly adds)
I can’t remember not doing it.

LIONEL
That I believe. Do you hesitate
when you think?

BERTIE
Don’t be ridiculous.

LIONEL
One of my many faults. How about
when you talk to yourself?

Bertie is silent.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Everyone natters occasionally,
Bertie.

BERTIE
Stop calling me that!

LIONEL
I’m not going to call you anything
else.

BERTIE
Then we shan’t speak!

Silence. The kettle whistles. Lionel makes himself a cup of
tea.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
Are you charging for this, Doctor?

LIONEL
A fortune. So, Bertie...when you
talk to yourself, do you stammer?

BERTIE
Of course not!

LIONEL
Thus proving your impediment isn’t
a permanent part of you. What do
you think was the cause?
23


BERTIE
I don’t know! I don’t care! I
stammer. And no one can fix it.

LIONEL
Bet you, Bertie, you can read
flawlessly, right here, right now.

Bertie snorts dismissively.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
And if I win, I get to ask
questions.

BERTIE
And if I win?

LIONEL
You don’t have to answer.

BERTIE
One usually wagers money.

LIONEL
A bob each to sweeten it? See your
shilling.

BERTIE
I don’t carry cash.

LIONEL
I had a funny feeling you mightn’t.

Logue fishes two coins from his pocket and puts them on the
table.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Stake you. Pay me back next time.

BERTIE
If there is a next time.

LIONEL
(nods)
I haven’t agreed to take you on.

Logue has uncovered a piece of apparatus, a recording device
with earphones. He sets a blank disc onto the turntable and
positions a microphone, then hands Bertie an open book.
Bertie glares at it defiantly.

BERTIE
I can’t possibly read this.

LIONEL
Then you owe me a shilling for not
trying.
24


Furious, Bertie opens the book and reads, stammers badly and
gets worse.

BERTIE
“To be or not to be, That is the
question. Whether it is wiser...”
There!

He hands the book back to Lionel.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
I can’t read!

LIONEL
I haven’t finished yet.

Lionel returns the book to Bertie and turns to some recording
apparatus on a nearby table.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
I’m going to record your voice and
then play it back to you on the
same machine. This is brilliant.
It’s the latest thing from America:
a Silvertone.

He hands Bertie a pair of heavily padded earphones. Bertie
doesn’t want to take them.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
There’s a bob in this, mate. You
can go home rich!

Bertie reluctantly puts them on. Logue turns a dial. LOUD
MUSIC is heard. Bertie takes off the earphones. The music
stops.

BERTIE
You’re playing music.

LIONEL
I know.

BERTIE
How can I hear what I’m saying?!

LIONEL
Surely a Prince’s brain knows what
its mouth is doing?

BERTIE
You’re not well acquainted with
Royal Princes, are you?

Bertie replaces the earphones. Again, the LOUD MUSIC. His
mouth moves as he reads, but all that can be heard is the
music.
25


Finished, Bertie takes off the earphones and the music
ceases. Bertie reaches for the coins, but Logue snatches
them.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
Hopeless. Hopeless!

LIONEL
You were sublime. Would I lie to a
prince of the realm to win twelve-
pence?

BERTIE
I’ve no idea what an Australian
might do for that sort of money.

LIONEL
Shall I play it?

BERTIE
No.

LIONEL
If you prefer, we’ll just get on to
the questions.

BERTIE
Thank you Doctor, I don’t feel this
is for me.

He heads for the door. Logue puts the record in a brown paper
dust jacket and hands it to Bertie.

LIONEL
Sir? The recording is free. Please
keep it as a souvenir?

Lionel opens the door for Bertie and closes it behind him
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a cluttered consultation room, Lionel Logue confronts Prince Bertie about his stammer. Bertie, uncomfortable and resistant, insists on formalities and doubts the treatment. Lionel attempts to connect by challenging Bertie to read aloud, leading to frustration as Bertie struggles with his speech. Despite his reluctance, Bertie records his voice while music plays, revealing that his stammer isn't permanent. Feeling hopeless, Bertie decides to leave, but Lionel offers him the recording as a souvenir, highlighting the unresolved tension between them.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on character development and conflict. The tension between Bertie and Lionel is palpable, and the dialogue is engaging and revealing. The execution is solid, with a gradual build-up of emotions and stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using unconventional methods to address Bertie's stammer is innovative and drives the scene forward. The focus on communication, power dynamics, and personal history adds depth to the interaction between the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and his initial resistance to treatment. The scene moves the story forward by introducing the conflict between Bertie and Lionel and setting the stage for potential character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of overcoming personal challenges, with a focus on the power dynamics between a royal and a commoner. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bertie and Lionel are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Bertie's frustration and vulnerability contrast with Lionel's confidence and unconventional approach, creating a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a subtle shift in his demeanor, from initial resistance to a begrudging acceptance of Lionel's methods. This sets the stage for potential character growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his stammer and improve his speech. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, confidence, and the desire to communicate effectively.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to seek treatment for his stammer and improve his public speaking abilities. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in fulfilling his royal duties and responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bertie and Lionel is intense and multifaceted, stemming from Bertie's resistance to treatment and Lionel's unconventional methods. The power struggle and emotional stakes are high, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs, power struggles, and unresolved conflicts between Bertie and Lionel. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Bertie's struggle with his stammer is deeply personal and tied to his public image and responsibilities. The outcome of his treatment with Lionel could have significant consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing the conflict between Bertie and Lionel and setting up a potential arc for Bertie's character development. It establishes key themes and relationships that will impact future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between Bertie and Lionel, the unexpected turns in their conversation, and the unresolved conflicts that leave the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's belief that his stammer is a permanent part of him and Lionel's belief that it can be overcome through therapy. This challenges Bertie's worldview and self-perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from frustration and defiance to vulnerability and determination. The intense interaction between Bertie and Lionel creates a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, revealing, and drives the conflict between Bertie and Lionel. It effectively conveys the tension and power struggle between the characters, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the witty dialogue, and the underlying tension and conflict. The scene keeps the audience invested in the characters' journey and the outcome of their interaction.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, creating suspense, and highlighting the emotional beats of the characters' interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and intrigue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the contrasting atmosphere of Logue's consultation room compared to the waiting area, creating a sense of intimacy and comfort that is crucial for the therapy sessions. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the character dynamics. For instance, Bertie's reluctance to engage with Lionel could be shown through more nuanced body language or internal thoughts, rather than just through dialogue.
  • Bertie's initial silence and discomfort are well portrayed, but the pacing of the dialogue feels a bit rushed at times. The exchanges between Bertie and Lionel could be slowed down to allow for more tension and to emphasize Bertie's struggle with vulnerability. This would enhance the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The humor in the dialogue is a strong point, particularly in Lionel's casual demeanor and Bertie's sarcastic responses. However, the humor sometimes undercuts the gravity of Bertie's situation. Balancing the comedic elements with the seriousness of his stammer could create a more impactful scene.
  • The use of props, such as the recording apparatus and the model airplanes, adds visual interest and character depth. However, the significance of these items could be more explicitly tied to the characters' interactions. For example, Lionel's mention of the airplanes could lead to a deeper conversation about childhood or aspirations, which would enrich their relationship.
  • The scene ends with Bertie rejecting the recording and leaving, which is a strong moment of defiance. However, it might be more powerful if there were a brief moment of reflection or hesitation from Bertie before he exits, indicating his internal conflict about seeking help. This would add complexity to his character and set up future interactions with Lionel.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or descriptive action to convey Bertie's emotional state, particularly his anxiety and reluctance to engage with Lionel.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more pauses and moments of tension, giving the audience time to absorb the weight of Bertie's struggles.
  • Balance the humor with the seriousness of the situation by allowing moments of vulnerability to shine through, making Bertie's character more relatable and sympathetic.
  • Explore the significance of the props in the room further, perhaps by having them serve as metaphors for Bertie's journey or as conversation starters that reveal more about his character.
  • Incorporate a moment of hesitation or reflection from Bertie before he leaves, which would highlight his internal conflict and set the stage for his evolving relationship with Lionel.



Scene 16 -  The Weight of Royal Expectations
INT. LOGUE’S WAITING ROOM - DAY

Elizabeth looks up at Bertie hopefully.

BERTIE
No

Elizabeth nods and rises. They walk towards the door
together.

ELIZABETH
Ah well.


EXT. SANDRINGHAM ESTATE - DAY

Establishing shot in the snow.
26


A cold and commanding voice is heard:

KING GEORGE V (O.S.)
For the present, the work to which
we are all equally bound, is to
arrive at a reasoned
tranquillity...


INT. THE KING’S STUDY, SANDRINGHAM ESTATE - CONTINUOUS

The King’s study, which resembles an orderly naval captain’s
cabin, except for a desk littered with stamp albums, has been
converted into an ad hoc broadcasting studio. KING GEORGE V
is a barrel-chested man with Naval beard and uniform.

He is giving his Christmas address via the radio.

KING GEORGE V (CONT’D)
...within our borders, to regain
prosperity in this time of
depression without self-seeking and
to carry with us those whom the
burden of past years has
disheartened or overborne. To all,
to each, I wish a Happy Christmas.
God bless you.

The red light next to him goes out, indicating the broadcast
is complete. Robert Wood, the BBC technician from Wembley,
stands by as well as an official photographer.

King George V looks at Bertie, who is standing next to him.

KING GEORGE V (CONT’D)
Easy when you know how.

PHOTOGRAPHER
Sir?

Bertie moves away and the photographer captures the King,
seated at his desk.

KING GEORGE V
(to Bertie)
Have a go yourself.

WOOD
Congratulations, Sir.

KING GEORGE V
Ah, Mr Wood. Splendid fellow. Chap
taught me everything I know: let
the microphone do the work.

WOOD
Sir.
27


KING GEORGE V
Thank you.

Wood and the photographer take that as their cue to leave.

KING GEORGE V (CONT’D)
Sit up, straight back, face boldly
up to the bloody thing and stare it
square in the eye, as you would any
decent Englishman. Show who’s in
command.

Bertie regards the BBC microphone as though it were an alien
creature.

BERTIE
D-d-don’t thu-thu-think I c-c-can.

In the presence of his father, Bertie’s stammering returns in
full form, his breathing short and shallow, the neck muscles
in spasms.

KING GEORGE V
This devilish device will change
everything if you won’t. In the
past all a King had to do was look
respectable in uniform and not fall
off his horse. Now we must invade
people’s homes and ingratiate
ourselves with them. This family is
reduced to those lowest, basest of
all creatures...we’ve
become...actors!

BERTIE
Papa, we’re not a family, we’re a
firm.

His father shoots Bertie a surprised look: does the lad have
a brain after all?

KING GEORGE V
The most successful institution in
history. Our cousins wear crowns
throughout Europe. A dozen of them!
Sitting on thrones is our business!
Yet any moment some of us may be
out of work. Your darling
brother... The only wife he appears
interested in is invariably the
wife of another!

BERTIE
(tries to brighten things)
He’s broken off with Lady Furness.
28


KING GEORGE V
And taken up a Mrs Simpson, a woman
with two husbands living! Had the
audacity to present her to me at
Georgie’s wedding. I told him
straight no divorced person could
ever be received at court. He said
she made him sublimely happy. I
imagined that was because she was
sleeping with him. “I give you my
word we’ve never had immoral
relations,” he replied. Stared
square into his father’s eyes...
and lied.

Bertie groans.

KING GEORGE V (CONT’D)
When I’m dead that boy will ruin
himself, this family, and this
nation, within twelve months.
Who’ll pick up the pieces? Herr
Hitler, intimidating half of
Europe, Marshall Stalin the other
half? Who’ll stand between us, the
jackboots, and the proletarian
abyss? You? With your older brother
shirking his duties, you’re going
to have to do a lot more of this.
(nodding towards the
microphone)
Have a go yourself.

Bertie tries to read the King’s speech.

BERTIE
Through one of the m-

KING GEORGE V
Get it out boy!

BERTIE
...m-marvels of m-

KING GEORGE V
Modern - just take your time - form
your words carefully

BERTIE
Science, I am enabled, this C-

KING GEORGE V
Relax!
(off Bertie’s continued
inability)
Just try it!
29


BERTIE
...this Christmas Day, to speak to
all my p-

KING GEORGE V
(all patience lost)
Do it!
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a tense scene set in the King's study at Sandringham Estate, Bertie grapples with his stammer and the pressure of public speaking as his father, King George V, pushes him to fulfill royal duties. Despite Elizabeth's hopeful encouragement, Bertie's anxiety escalates, leading to frustration from the King as he struggles to read a Christmas address. The scene captures the emotional turmoil of Bertie against the backdrop of snowy tranquility, highlighting the conflict between personal challenges and royal responsibilities.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes the tension and conflict between the characters, sets up Bertie's character arc, and introduces the central theme of overcoming obstacles. The dialogue is impactful and reveals important character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bertie's speech impediment and the pressure he faces as a member of the royal family is compelling. The scene effectively introduces the central conflict and sets the stage for Bertie's character development.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by highlighting Bertie's internal conflict and the external pressures he faces. The scene sets up important character dynamics and foreshadows Bertie's journey towards overcoming his stammer.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the royal family's struggles and challenges, presenting a nuanced portrayal of Bertie's internal and external conflicts. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding depth to the characters' interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with King George V portrayed as authoritative and demanding, while Bertie is shown as vulnerable and struggling with his speech impediment. The scene effectively establishes their relationship and sets up Bertie's character arc.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, as he grapples with his stammer and the expectations placed upon him. The scene sets up his character arc and foreshadows his journey towards self-improvement.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his stammering and gain confidence in public speaking. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and approval from his father, as well as his fear of failure and inadequacy.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to successfully deliver a speech via the radio, as instructed by his father. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in mastering a new form of communication.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bertie and his father, as well as Bertie's internal struggle with his stammer, creates a high level of tension in the scene. The conflicting expectations and pressures add depth to the character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with King George V serving as a formidable obstacle to Bertie's goals. The audience is left uncertain about Bertie's ability to overcome his challenges.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Bertie, as he faces the pressure of public speaking, the expectations of his father, and the weight of his royal duties. The scene sets up the importance of overcoming his speech impediment for his future role.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key character dynamics, introducing central conflicts, and setting up Bertie's character arc. It lays the groundwork for future developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and emotional revelations between the characters. The audience is kept on edge by the uncertainty of Bertie's success.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between tradition and modernity, as represented by King George V's resistance to the changing role of the monarchy in the age of radio broadcasting. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about his family's responsibilities and the evolving nature of their public image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, particularly in Bertie's vulnerability and the strained relationship with his father. The audience can empathize with Bertie's struggles and feel the weight of his responsibilities.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, revealing the tension between the characters and conveying their emotions effectively. The dialogue drives the scene forward and establishes key character traits and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and dynamic character interactions. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in Bertie's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment between Bertie and King George V. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict, leading to a climactic moment between the characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between Bertie and his father, King George V, highlighting Bertie's struggle with his stammer and the pressure of royal expectations. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while the characters express their thoughts directly, incorporating more nuanced exchanges could deepen the emotional impact.
  • The transition from the waiting room to the King's study is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative, perhaps by including a brief moment of reflection from Bertie as he moves from one setting to another, emphasizing his internal conflict.
  • King George V's dialogue is rich with historical context, but it risks overshadowing Bertie's character development. While the King's concerns about the monarchy and his son are valid, the scene should balance the King's exposition with Bertie's emotional journey. More focus on Bertie's reactions and feelings could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • The use of the microphone as a symbol of Bertie's struggle is effective, but it could be further emphasized through visual storytelling. For instance, close-ups of Bertie's hands trembling or his facial expressions could visually convey his anxiety and fear of public speaking, enhancing the audience's empathy.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly during the moments when Bertie attempts to read the King's speech. Allowing for longer pauses and moments of silence could heighten the tension and give the audience time to absorb Bertie's struggle.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or reflection for Bertie as he transitions from the waiting room to the King's study, which could help to establish his emotional state more clearly.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue between Bertie and King George V, allowing for moments where their true feelings are hinted at rather than explicitly stated. This could create a richer emotional landscape.
  • Focus on Bertie's physical reactions to the microphone and his father's words. Use close-ups to capture his anxiety, which would help the audience connect with his internal struggle.
  • Slow down the pacing during Bertie's attempts to read the speech. Allow for longer pauses to build tension and emphasize his difficulty, making the moment more impactful.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence after the King's speech before Bertie responds, allowing the weight of the King's words to settle in and giving Bertie a moment to gather himself.



Scene 17 -  A Moment of Clarity
INT. BERTIE’S STUDY, YORK HOUSE - NEW NIGHT

Bertie lies on a chaise longue, smoking.

BERTIE
(to himself)
Lying bastard.

Bertie gets up and retrieves the recording he made with
Lionel. He walks to a Victoria stand, lifts the arm, places
the steel needle. It slips and slides across the records
surface, as steel needles do. But what he hears is poetic and
flowing:

BERTIE’S RECORDED VOICE
“To be, or not to be, - that is the
question: -

Elizabeth enters, unseen by Bertie and listens.

BERTIE’S RECORDED VOICE (CONT’D)
“...whether tis nobler in the mind
to suffer The slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of
troubles, And by opposing end
them..”

Hold on Elizabeth, stunned: Unable to hear himself, her
husband speaks perfectly for the very first time.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Bertie's study, he lies on a chaise longue, frustrated and muttering about a 'lying bastard.' He plays a recording of himself reciting a Shakespearean soliloquy, which initially falters but then flows beautifully. Unbeknownst to him, Elizabeth enters and is stunned to hear her husband speak flawlessly for the first time, highlighting his internal struggle with his speech impediment and offering a moment of hope.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Memorable moment
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Reliance on internal struggle

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, with a significant breakthrough in Bertie's character development. The tension and hope are palpable, leading to a powerful and memorable moment.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bertie overcoming his speech impediment through a moment of clarity and vulnerability is compelling and drives the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in this scene is significant as it marks a turning point in Bertie's character arc. His breakthrough adds depth to the narrative and sets up future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of self-acceptance and personal growth, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel genuine and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie and Elizabeth, are well-developed and their emotions are portrayed effectively. Bertie's internal struggle and Elizabeth's supportive presence add layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes a significant change in this scene as he hears himself speak perfectly for the first time, marking a pivotal moment in his character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his own self-doubt and insecurities, as reflected in his inner monologue and actions.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to confront his speech impediment and find a way to overcome it, as shown through his interaction with the recording device.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in this scene is primarily internal, as Bertie struggles with his speech impediment. The tension arises from his frustration and hope for improvement.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Bertie faces internal and external challenges that test his resolve and push him towards self-discovery.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as Bertie confronts his speech impediment and experiences a breakthrough. The outcome has a significant impact on his personal and public life.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by advancing Bertie's character arc and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. It adds depth to the narrative and propels the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional impact and character development, keeping the audience on edge as Bertie confronts his inner demons and finds his true voice.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the theme of self-acceptance and the struggle to find one's true voice. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about his own capabilities and worth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, hope, and vulnerability. Bertie's breakthrough resonates with the audience and creates a powerful moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, especially in Bertie's recorded voice reciting Shakespeare. It conveys the emotional weight of the moment and adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character development, and thematic resonance, drawing the audience into Bertie's internal struggle and personal growth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a powerful revelation that propels the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear and concise descriptions that enhance the visual and emotional impact.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-paced and engaging structure that effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a powerful revelation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a pivotal moment in Bertie's journey, showcasing his struggle with his speech impediment and the emotional weight of his royal duties. The contrast between his internal frustration and the beauty of his recorded voice creates a powerful juxtaposition that highlights his character's growth.
  • The use of the Shakespearean soliloquy is a strong choice, as it resonates with themes of existential struggle and the search for identity, mirroring Bertie's own challenges. However, the transition from his self-deprecating thoughts to the eloquence of the recording could be more pronounced to emphasize the contrast.
  • Elizabeth's entrance adds an emotional layer to the scene, but her reaction could be more vividly described to enhance the impact of the moment. The current description of her being 'stunned' feels somewhat passive; exploring her internal thoughts or physical reactions could deepen the audience's connection to her character.
  • The visual elements, such as the slipping needle and the poetic sound of the recording, are evocative but could benefit from more sensory details. Describing the ambiance of the study, the smell of smoke, or the warmth of the room could enrich the atmosphere and draw the audience further into the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but the transition from Bertie's frustration to the beauty of his voice could be smoother. Consider adding a moment of silence or a pause before the recording begins to heighten the tension and anticipation.
Suggestions
  • Enhance Elizabeth's reaction by incorporating her internal thoughts or physical responses to Bertie's perfect speech, making her emotional journey more relatable.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the setting, such as the warmth of the room or the smell of smoke, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or a pause before the recording starts to build tension and emphasize the significance of Bertie's transformation.
  • Explore the contrast between Bertie's self-criticism and the beauty of his recorded voice more explicitly, perhaps through a brief internal monologue that reflects his disbelief or surprise at his own eloquence.
  • Ensure that the transition from Bertie's frustration to the recorded voice feels seamless, possibly by incorporating a visual cue or sound effect that signifies the shift from his internal struggle to the external beauty of his speech.



Scene 18 -  Breaking Barriers: Bertie's Speech Therapy Journey
INT. LOGUE’S CONSULTATION ROOM - NEW DAY

Bertie and Elizabeth have returned to the consultation room.

BERTIE
Strictly business. No personal
nonsense.

ELIZABETH
I thought I’d made that very clear
in our interview.

Logue is silent, then:

LIONEL
Got the shilling you owe me?
30


BERTIE
No I don’t!

LIONEL
Didn’t think so.

BERTIE
Besides, you tricked me!

LIONEL
No, I showed you what you can do.
(tries to get them to
understand)
What you’re asking will only deal
with the surface of the problem.

ELIZABETH
That’s sufficient. My husband has
difficulties with his speech. Just
deal with that.

BERTIE
I’m willing to work hard, Doctor
Logue...

LIONEL
Lionel.

BERTIE
Are you willing to do your part?

Logue considers, then tells Bertie:

LIONEL
Alright. You want mechanics? We
need to relax your throat muscles
and strengthen your tongue. By
repeating tongue twisters for
example. “I am a thistle-sifter. I
have a sieve of sifted thistles and
a sieve of unsifted thistles.
Because I am a thistle sifter.”

BERTIE
Fine.

LIONEL
You have a flabby tummy, we must
build up the strength in your
diaphragm. Simple mechanics.

ELIZABETH
That is all we ask.

LIONEL
And that’s about a shilling’s
worth.
31


BERTIE
Forget about the blessed shilling!
(calm again)
Perhaps, upon occasion, I shall
request some assistance in coping
with a minor event. Will that be
agreeable?

LIONEL
Of course.

ELIZABETH
That will be the full extent of
your services.

BERTIE
Shall I see you next week?

LIONEL
I shall see you every day.

On Bertie, reacting.

MONTAGE

Many different sessions, many different days, all in the
consultation room.

CU of Bertie’s mouth. Humming.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Hum for as long as you like.
Hmmmmmmmmmm. And when you’re ready,
“Mother”.

BERTIE
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmother.

LIONEL
Beaut.

CUT TO:

LIONEL (CONT’D)
A simple outward breath. “FFFFF”
Wait for the “aa”. “FFFFFather”.
Just slide into it.

BERTIE
FFFFFFFFFFFFather.

CUT TO:

LIONEL
Feel the loosening of the jaw
32


Bertie and Lionel both have their individual hands clasped
and are shaking them, vibrating their chest and loosening
their jaw. As their jaws wobble, they omit a vibrating sound.

BERTIE
Ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah.

LIONEL
(at the same time)
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,

CUT TO:

Bertie lies on the floor

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Deep breath. Expand your
chest...lift your diaphragm...allow
the column of air into your
stomach...How do you feel?

BERTIE
Full of hot air.

LIONEL
Isn’t that what public speaking is
all about?

Bertie inhales deeply.

CUT TO:

Some fast cuts. Lionel handing him a cup of tea. Bertie doing
slow breathing exercises. Bertie shouting something in
frustration.

BERTIE
I will never get that.

LIONEL
Yes you can, come on, come on.

CUT TO:

Bertie’s on the floor again.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Deep breath. Hold.

He turns to Elizabeth.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Now Ma’am, while you are here, you
could again be of great assistance.
If you’d kindly sit on your
husband’s stomach.
33


ELIZABETH
Oh yes?

LIONEL
Gently of course.

Elizabeth sits gingerly on Bertie’s stomach, asking
solicitously:

ELIZABETH
Are you alright, Bertie?

Bertie nods.

LIONEL
Now exhale slowly...can you feel
that resistance, Bertie? Down goes
your Royal Highness...inhale
slowly...and...up comes your Royal
Highness. Exhale and down. Yes.
Inhale and up. You get the idea.

ELIZABETH
This is actually quite good fun,
Bertie.

LIONEL
Do it at home. Doesn’t have to be
you, of course, but I thought he’d
prefer you to one of the staff.

Lionel encourages Bertie to move as he reads a joke out.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Move, rock back and forth on the
balls of your feet, keep the
movement continuous and flowing.

CUT TO:

Bertie stands framed by the open window.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
I want you to release the five
vowel sounds, each to last no less
than 15 seconds.

BERTIE
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

LIONEL
(tapping him on the
diaphragm)
Let’s connect the toned diaphragm
with your relaxed throat. Ma’am,
would you be so kind as to be the
timekeeper?
34


Lionel hands her a stop watch.

BERTIE
....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

High up in the wall at the back of the building, a Harley
Street physician peers out the window.

LIONEL
Anyone who can vibrate loudly in
full view of the world can learn to
give a speech.

ELIZABETH
That’s right, Bertie.
(checking watch) Now
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Lionel joins in.

LIONEL
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

BERTIE
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

The sound of “eeee” becomes the roar of machinery
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Logue's consultation room, Bertie insists on maintaining a professional distance, but Logue challenges him to engage more deeply in his speech therapy. They establish a regimen of exercises, leading to a montage of humorous and light-hearted therapy sessions, including Elizabeth's playful involvement. The scene captures the evolving rapport between Bertie and Logue as they navigate the challenges of speech therapy, culminating in Bertie's confident practice of vowel sounds with encouragement from both Logue and Elizabeth.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character development
  • Intense therapy session
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Focused primarily on therapy session

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, with a clear focus on the speech therapy session and the dynamics between Bertie, Elizabeth, and Logue. The dialogue is engaging and informative, providing insight into the characters' motivations and struggles.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Bertie's speech therapy and his efforts to overcome his stammer. It effectively conveys the challenges and progress in a compelling and informative way, setting up an important aspect of Bertie's character development.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on Bertie's speech therapy session and his interactions with Logue and Elizabeth. It moves the story forward by highlighting Bertie's struggle and determination to improve his speech, setting up future developments in his character arc.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to speech therapy by incorporating physical exercises and tongue twisters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Bertie, Elizabeth, and Logue, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their motivations and struggles, adding depth to the scene and setting up potential character growth in the future.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a significant character change in the scene, as he begins to open up to the idea of speech therapy and shows determination to improve his speech. This sets up potential growth and development for Bertie's character in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his speech difficulties and improve his communication skills. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and confidence in his abilities.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to follow through with the speech therapy sessions and make progress in his communication skills. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in overcoming his speech impediment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Bertie struggles with his speech impediment and the challenges of the speech therapy session. The tension arises from Bertie's frustration and determination to overcome his stammer.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with Bertie's initial resistance to Logue's methods providing a small obstacle to his progress. The audience is left wondering how Bertie will overcome his speech difficulties.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, as Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and the success of the speech therapy session are important for his personal growth and future challenges. The outcome of the therapy session could have significant implications for Bertie's character.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by focusing on Bertie's speech therapy and his interactions with Logue and Elizabeth. It sets up important developments in Bertie's character arc and establishes a key aspect of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected physical exercises and tongue twisters introduced by Logue. The audience is kept on their toes by the unique approach to speech therapy.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between Bertie's resistance to change and Logue's belief in the effectiveness of his methods. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about his own abilities and willingness to try new approaches.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as it highlights Bertie's struggles and determination to improve his speech. The interactions between the characters and the progress made in the therapy session evoke empathy and engagement from the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is informative and engaging, providing insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings. It effectively conveys the challenges of Bertie's speech therapy and the dynamics between the characters, driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, character development, and a clear progression of the speech therapy sessions. The interactions between the characters keep the audience invested in Bertie's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing the dialogue-heavy interactions with the physical exercises and progression of the speech therapy sessions. The rhythm keeps the scene engaging.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay. The dialogue is properly formatted and the scene directions are clear.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a screenplay. The progression of the speech therapy sessions is clear and engaging.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamic between Bertie, Elizabeth, and Lionel, showcasing their evolving relationship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, Bertie's insistence on keeping things strictly business feels somewhat abrupt and could be softened with a hint of vulnerability or fear about the therapy process.
  • The montage format is a strong choice, allowing for a visual representation of Bertie's progress and the various techniques employed by Lionel. However, the transitions between the montage segments could be more fluid. Instead of abrupt cuts, consider using a more gradual fade or a visual motif that ties the segments together, enhancing the viewer's emotional connection to Bertie's journey.
  • While the humor in the scene is appreciated, particularly with Lionel's playful approach, it sometimes undermines the gravity of Bertie's struggle. Balancing the comedic elements with moments of genuine tension or frustration could create a more nuanced portrayal of Bertie's internal conflict.
  • The physicality of the exercises is a great way to visualize the therapy process, but the scene could benefit from more sensory details. Describing the sounds, smells, and physical sensations during the exercises would immerse the audience further into the experience, making it more relatable and engaging.
  • The ending of the scene, where Bertie is encouraged to make vowel sounds, feels somewhat disconnected from the emotional arc established earlier. It might be more impactful to conclude with a moment of reflection or a shared look between Bertie and Elizabeth, emphasizing their support for each other as they navigate this challenging journey.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to reveal Bertie's vulnerabilities and fears about the therapy process, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his character.
  • Consider using smoother transitions in the montage to create a more cohesive flow, perhaps by incorporating a recurring visual motif or sound that ties the segments together.
  • Balance the humor with moments of tension or frustration to provide a more nuanced portrayal of Bertie's struggle, ensuring that the comedic elements do not overshadow the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Add sensory details to the physical exercises to enhance immersion, describing the sounds, smells, and sensations to make the audience feel more connected to Bertie's experience.
  • Conclude the scene with a moment of reflection or a shared look between Bertie and Elizabeth, reinforcing their emotional bond and support for each other as they face the challenges ahead.



Scene 19 -  Finding His Voice
INT. MIDLAND FACTORY - NEW DAY

Huge industrial wheels whir noisily in neutral as WORKERS
line up dutifully to hear the visiting Royal. Bertie’s lips
move, but due to the racket he cannot be heard. Elizabeth
watches in relief.

A FOREMAN, trying to be helpful, signals. The machinery
halts, the factory falls silent. At first, the momentum of
speaking without being heard carries Bertie forward.

BERTIE
I assure you that my wife and I...

Hearing his own voice reverberate through the cavernous
factory Bertie’s stammer returns.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
...ar-ar-are glad to vis-vis-
visit...

Bertie pauses. Takes a breath. Relaxes.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
...are glad to visit this important
manufacturing district and see for
ourselves one or two of the
industries which have made it
famous...
35


He gets back into his stride, despite the silence. Bertie
relaxes a little. From Elizabeth, a huge smile of relief.

The sound of an approaching aircraft engine.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a noisy Midland factory, Bertie struggles to address a group of workers due to the overwhelming machinery sounds and his own stammer. With the foreman's help in silencing the machines, Bertie gradually gains confidence and delivers a heartfelt message about their visit, bringing relief to Elizabeth. The scene concludes with the unexpected sound of an approaching aircraft engine, hinting at a new development.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of internal conflict
  • Compelling emotional impact
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the internal struggle of Bertie as he attempts to speak in a noisy environment, creating a tense and emotional atmosphere. The relief felt by Elizabeth adds depth to the scene, making it engaging and impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bertie struggling with his stammer in a challenging environment is well-executed, showcasing his internal conflict and the support he receives from Elizabeth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene focuses on Bertie's attempt to speak in a noisy factory, highlighting his struggle with his stammer and the emotional impact on both Bertie and Elizabeth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique character struggle with Bertie's stammer and his efforts to overcome it in a public setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Bertie and Elizabeth are well-developed in the scene, with Bertie's internal struggle and Elizabeth's supportive role adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie experiences a change in confidence and determination as he attempts to speak in the factory, showcasing his growth and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his stammer and deliver a speech confidently. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of public speaking and being judged.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to represent the Royal family well and make a positive impression on the workers and the community. This reflects the immediate challenge of fulfilling his duties as a Royal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from Bertie's struggle with his stammer in a challenging environment, creating tension and emotional turmoil.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong as Bertie faces the challenge of delivering a speech despite his stammer. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Bertie attempts to speak in a challenging environment, facing the risk of failure and embarrassment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Bertie's ongoing struggle with his stammer and the support he receives from Elizabeth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure if Bertie will successfully deliver his speech despite his stammer. The tension adds to the uncertainty of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's personal struggles with his stammer and the expectations placed on him as a member of the Royal family. This challenges his beliefs about self-worth and public image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with the audience feeling the tension, relief, and frustration experienced by the characters.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys Bertie's stammer and Elizabeth's relief, adding to the emotional impact of the moment.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it builds tension through Bertie's struggle to speak and the reactions of the characters around him. The audience is invested in seeing how he will overcome his stammer.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense as Bertie struggles to speak. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions contributes to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and anxiety that Bertie experiences while speaking in front of an audience, particularly in a noisy environment. The contrast between the initial noise of the machinery and the subsequent silence creates a palpable sense of anticipation.
  • Bertie's struggle with his stammer is portrayed realistically, and the moment where he pauses to take a breath before continuing is a strong character moment that shows his determination to overcome his impediment. This adds depth to his character and highlights his growth.
  • The use of Elizabeth's smile as a visual cue of relief is a nice touch, as it emphasizes the emotional stakes for both characters. However, the scene could benefit from more internal dialogue or thoughts from Bertie to further illustrate his internal struggle and the pressure he feels as a royal.
  • The introduction of the aircraft engine sound at the end of the scene serves as a good transition to the next moment, but it feels somewhat abrupt. It might be more effective if the sound were introduced gradually, building tension as Bertie speaks, rather than appearing suddenly.
  • The dialogue is concise and serves its purpose, but it could be enhanced with more emotional weight or personal anecdotes that connect Bertie to the workers, making his speech feel more genuine and relatable.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Bertie as he prepares to speak, allowing the audience to understand his thoughts and fears more intimately. This could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Introduce the sound of the aircraft engine earlier in the scene, perhaps as a distant rumble that grows louder as Bertie speaks, to create a more gradual buildup of tension.
  • Incorporate a personal story or anecdote in Bertie's speech that relates to the workers or the factory, which could help him connect with the audience and make his message more impactful.
  • Explore the reactions of the workers more deeply. Perhaps include close-ups of their faces as they listen, showing their anticipation or concern, which would heighten the stakes for Bertie.
  • Consider using more descriptive language to convey the atmosphere of the factory and the emotions of the characters, which could enrich the visual storytelling and engage the audience further.



Scene 20 -  Contrasting Concerns
EXT. PRIVATE LANDING STRIP, SANDRINGHAM ESTATE - NEW DAY

Bertie waits beside a shooting break, a stiff breeze whipping
his coat, as a small plane lands and taxis.

While he waits Bertie practises breathing exercises.

The cockpit canopy slides back and - DAVID - leaps out,
removing his leather helmet and goggles, gold hair gleaming,
a sun god descended from the skies.

DAVID
Hello, Bertie. Been waiting long?

BERTIE
Where’ve you been?

Bertie stammers badly in the presence of his brother.

DAVID
Been busy.

BERTIE
So was I. Elizabeth has pneumonia.

DAVID
I’m sorry. She’ll recover.

Bertie shoots him a look.

BERTIE
Father won’t.

DAVID
I’ll drive.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary At a private landing strip, Bertie anxiously awaits his brother David's arrival, practicing breathing exercises. When David lands, he exudes confidence, dismissing Bertie's worries about their mother Elizabeth's pneumonia. Bertie, however, is deeply concerned about their father's health, highlighting a family crisis. The scene ends with David offering to drive, shifting the focus from their mother's illness to their father's condition, underscoring the tension between Bertie's anxiety and David's nonchalance.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Tense dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity on the exact nature of the family turmoil

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and complex emotions between the characters, setting up a significant conflict and hinting at future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of family tensions and impending loss is well-developed, providing a solid foundation for character growth and plot progression.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the strained interaction between the brothers and the revelation of family turmoil, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on familial drama within a royal setting, with authentic character interactions and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and conflicting emotions that drive the scene forward. The dialogue and interactions reveal layers of complexity in their relationships.

Character Changes: 8

The scene hints at potential character growth and changes, especially in the strained relationship between the brothers and the impact of the impending loss.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to assert himself and confront his brother about his absence during a family crisis. This reflects his deeper need for validation and respect within his family, as well as his fear of being overshadowed by his more charismatic brother.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to address the practical issue of needing a ride, but this goal is overshadowed by his internal conflict with his brother.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the brothers and the impending loss of a family member create a high level of tension and emotional stakes in the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition between Bertie and David is strong, with conflicting goals and emotions driving the scene forward.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident in the strained family relationships, the impending loss of a family member, and the potential impact on the characters' lives and futures.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, character dynamics, and foreshadowing future events, setting up important plot developments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics between Bertie and David, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around duty versus personal ambition. Bertie prioritizes his family's well-being, while David seems more focused on his own pursuits.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of resentment, concern, and regret, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and conflicts.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is tense and impactful, conveying the underlying emotions and conflicts between the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, sharp dialogue, and the underlying tension between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic confrontation, with clear character motivations and escalating tension.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the contrasting dynamics between Bertie and David, highlighting Bertie's anxiety and David's carefree demeanor. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, David's dismissive attitude towards Elizabeth's illness and their father's condition could be more nuanced, revealing his character's flaws and the strain in their relationship.
  • Bertie's stammer is a crucial aspect of his character, and while it is mentioned, the scene could visually and audibly emphasize this struggle more. Consider incorporating physical reactions or internal thoughts that illustrate Bertie's anxiety when speaking to David, enhancing the audience's empathy for his plight.
  • The description of David as a 'sun god descended from the skies' is vivid but may come off as overly dramatic in contrast to the serious context of the scene. This metaphor could be toned down or rephrased to maintain the gravity of the situation while still conveying David's charismatic nature.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from Bertie's breathing exercises to David's arrival. A moment of stillness or introspection for Bertie before David's entrance could heighten the tension and allow the audience to feel Bertie's anticipation and dread more acutely.
  • The scene ends abruptly with David's offer to drive, which feels like a missed opportunity for deeper emotional resonance. Instead of a simple transition, consider adding a line or action that reflects Bertie's internal conflict about relying on David, especially given the context of their father's health.
Suggestions
  • Add more subtext to the dialogue between Bertie and David, allowing their conversation to reveal deeper emotional layers and tensions in their relationship.
  • Incorporate physical manifestations of Bertie's anxiety, such as fidgeting or avoiding eye contact, to enhance the portrayal of his stammer and internal struggle.
  • Reconsider the metaphor describing David; aim for a balance between vivid imagery and the scene's serious tone to maintain emotional consistency.
  • Slow down the pacing by including a moment of reflection for Bertie before David arrives, allowing the audience to connect with his feelings of anxiety and anticipation.
  • Expand the ending to include a line or action that illustrates Bertie's reluctance to rely on David, reinforcing the emotional stakes surrounding their family crisis.



Scene 21 -  A Somber Council
INT./EXT. CAR (SHOOTING BREAK) ON SANDRINGHAM LANE -
CONTINUOUS

David drives. Badly.

DAVID
Old bugger’s doing this on purpose.

BERTIE
Dying?

The vehicle almost careens off the lane. Bertie grabs the
wheel and straightens it.
36


DAVID
Departing prematurely to complicate
matters.

BERTIE
Oh for heaven’s sake, David. You
know how long he’s been ill.

DAVID
Wallis explained. She’s terribly
clever.


INT. KING’S BEDROOM, SANDRINGHAM - DAY

The King is propped up in his armchair, wrapped in his
favorite faded Tibetan dressing gown. He’s attended by six
members of his Privy Council - ARCHBISHOP LANG, LORD DAWSON
his personal physician, LORD WIGRAM his private secretary,
together with RAMSAY MACDONALD, LORD HAILSHAM and SIR JOHN
SIMON. Also present is SIR MAURICE HANKEY, the Clerk to the
Council.

The King’s sons and daughter are in attendance. SISTER BLACK
his nurse, stands beside the King.

Lord Wigram is reading out the Order for the Council for the
State. The King constantly interjects. He is confused and
frail.

LORD WIGRAM
... whereas by letters patent under
the Great Seal, bearing date of
Westminster, the eleventh June 1912
his Majesty King George V did
constitute, order and declare that
there should be a guardian, Custos
Regni, in the form of Councillors
of State.

Off King George V’s confusion -

LORD WIGRAM (CONT’D)
It’s the order of the Council for
the State, Sir. So we may act on
your behalf.

Wigram presents a tray with papers and pen.

KING GEORGE V
I’m still confused...

LORD WIGRAM
Approved.

KING GEORGE V
Thank you.
37


Lord Dawson holds the pen as the King makes his ‘mark’.

NURSE
Feeling a little better Sir?

KING GEORGE V
No. I’m not feeling any better. I
feel dreadful.

Queen Mary enters.

KING GEORGE V (CONT’D)
Have you been skating?

QUEEN MARY
No, George.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary David drives erratically, frustrated with the King's health, while Bertie tries to calm him. The scene shifts to King George V's bedroom, where he struggles to engage with the Privy Council due to his frailty. Despite his confusion, he manages to sign a document with assistance. The King expresses feeling dreadful, and Queen Mary enters, leading to a brief, light-hearted exchange about skating, providing a moment of levity amidst the tension surrounding the King's declining health.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and uncertainty within the royal family, setting up a significant conflict and character development. The tense tone and frail sentiment add depth to the narrative, making it engaging and impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying a family crisis within the royal household is compelling and adds depth to the overall narrative. It introduces high stakes and conflict, driving the story forward in a meaningful way.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the deteriorating health of King George V and the family's reaction to the crisis. It sets up important developments and character arcs, moving the story forward while building tension.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and characters, with authentic dialogue and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly King George V and his family members, are well-developed and showcase their individual concerns and dynamics. The scene allows for character growth and exploration within the family context.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, especially King George V and his family members, undergo subtle changes in their demeanor and interactions as they grapple with the family crisis. It sets the stage for further character development and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

David's internal goal is to express his frustration and concern about the situation with the King's health, reflecting his deeper fears and anxieties about the future.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the delicate situation with the King's health and the council, reflecting the immediate challenges they are facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around the family's struggle to cope with the King's deteriorating health. It creates tension and uncertainty, driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and emotions among the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the King's deteriorating health poses a significant threat to the royal family and the stability of the monarchy. The outcome of the crisis will have far-reaching consequences, adding urgency to the situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial family crisis and setting up important plot developments. It establishes key conflicts and character dynamics, driving the narrative towards resolution.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the characters' conflicting emotions and the uncertain outcome of the King's health.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around the duty to the monarchy and the personal emotions of the characters, challenging their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of concern, anxiety, and confusion among the characters and the audience. It effectively conveys the gravity of the family crisis and the challenges they face.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the confusion and concern of the characters, adding depth to their interactions. It sets the tone for the family crisis and establishes the relationships between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the tension and emotional stakes involved in the characters' interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and highlights the urgency of the situation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of the genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama, with clear character introductions and progression of events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the tension between Bertie's anxiety and David's nonchalance, which highlights their differing perspectives on their father's health. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, David's flippant remarks about their father's condition could be juxtaposed with Bertie's growing frustration, revealing more about their relationship dynamics.
  • The transition from the car to the King's bedroom feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene. Consider adding a brief moment where Bertie reflects on their father's condition before they arrive, which would allow for a more gradual shift in tone and setting.
  • The dialogue in the King's bedroom is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys the King's confusion, it could be enriched with more poignant moments that reflect the gravity of the situation. For example, incorporating a moment where the King expresses a fleeting memory or concern could add layers to his character and evoke empathy from the audience.
  • The presence of the Privy Council members is significant, but their roles could be more defined. Each character could have a distinct reaction to the King's condition, which would not only add depth to the scene but also emphasize the political implications of the King's health. This would create a richer tapestry of interactions and highlight the stakes involved.
  • The humor in the King's confusion about skating feels out of place given the somber context of the scene. While it may serve to lighten the mood, it risks undermining the emotional weight of the moment. Consider reworking this line to maintain the gravity of the situation while still allowing for a touch of humanity.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by incorporating more subtext in the dialogue between Bertie and David, revealing their complex relationship and differing coping mechanisms.
  • Create a smoother transition between the car scene and the King's bedroom by adding a reflective moment for Bertie that sets the tone for the gravity of their father's condition.
  • Deepen the King's character by including a poignant moment where he expresses a personal concern or memory, allowing the audience to connect with his plight on a more emotional level.
  • Define the roles of the Privy Council members more clearly, giving each character a distinct reaction to the King's condition to emphasize the political stakes and create a richer interaction.
  • Rework the humor in the King's dialogue to maintain the scene's emotional weight, ensuring that any light moments do not detract from the seriousness of the situation.



Scene 22 -  Tensions at the Table
INT. LIBRARY, SANDRINGHAM - CONTINUOUS

David is on the phone. Bertie enters.

DAVID
I’m on with Wallis!
(continues as though
Bertie didn’t exist)
I know, darling, a talk, even a
lovely long talk, is a poor
substitute for holding tight and
making drowsy. Nor making our own
drowsies either, as we’ve had to do
far too often lately.
(kisses the phone and
hangs up)
Wallis misses me terribly.

BERTIE
Mother says you’re late for dinner.

David glares at a clock.

DAVID
She forgets Papa’s bloody clocks
were always half an hour fast!

He sets it back.


INT. DINING HALL, SANDRINGHAM - CONTINUOUS

David enters and sits between Lord Dawson and Archbishop
Lang.

DAVID
(to Dawson)
How is my father? I hope he is not
in pain.
38


LORD DAWSON
No, no, he’s quieter now.

The butler enters and whispers to Lord Dawson and Lord
Wigram. They both exit.

QUEEN MARY
If your father were well, tardiness
would not be tolerated. None of
this..unpleasantness would be
tolerated

Pause.

COSMO LANG
(to David)
You know Sir, I appreciate that you
are different from your father in
your outlook and temperament. I
want you to know that whenever the
King questioned your conduct, I
tried in your interest to present
it in a most favourable light.

DAVID
(ironic)
I can always trust you to have my
best interests at heart.

Awkward silence.

QUEEN MARY
All my children, at the same table.

GEORGE
Yes, Mama.

Lord Wigram enters and whispers to Queen Mary.

QUEEN MARY
It seems our vigil will not be of
long duration.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense family dinner at Sandringham, David struggles with his longing for Wallis and the weight of familial expectations as he faces his father's declining health. Despite reminders from Bertie about his tardiness and Queen Mary's disapproval, David's frustration grows. Lord Dawson offers reassurance about the King's condition, while Archbishop Lang attempts to comfort David regarding his differences from his father. The scene culminates with Queen Mary acknowledging the presence of all her children, hinting at the gravity of their situation as Lord Wigram enters with news that suggests their vigil may soon change.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Effective setting and mood
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tense atmosphere and complex dynamics within the royal family, setting up future conflicts and character developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a family dinner at Sandringham serves as a pivotal moment to reveal the tensions and conflicts within the royal family, setting the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by introducing conflicts and tensions among the characters, hinting at future events and character arcs within the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on royal family dynamics, blending historical accuracy with fictionalized dialogue and interactions. The characters feel authentic and multi-dimensional.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each with their own motivations and conflicts, adding depth to the scene and setting up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' dynamics, the scene primarily focuses on establishing the existing conflicts and tensions rather than significant character changes.

Internal Goal: 8

David's internal goal is to assert his independence and individuality in the face of his family's expectations and traditions. He wants to be seen as his own person, separate from his father's legacy.

External Goal: 7

David's external goal is to navigate the social expectations and pressures of his royal family, particularly in relation to his father's health and his own reputation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with underlying tensions and conflicts among the characters, setting up future confrontations and resolutions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and expectations creating tension and conflict among the characters.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes involve the royal family's reputation and relationships, hinting at potential consequences and challenges they may face in the future.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts and tensions among the characters, setting the stage for future developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of character motivations and reactions, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome of the interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between tradition and modernity, duty and personal desire. David struggles with the expectations placed on him as a royal and his own desires for freedom and individuality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of unease and discomfort, drawing the audience into the emotional turmoil of the characters and their strained relationships.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and awkwardness between the characters, revealing their inner thoughts and emotions through subtle exchanges.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its rich character interactions, subtle conflicts, and underlying tension. The dialogue keeps the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics, with a balance of dialogue and action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay writing, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama, with clear character introductions, conflict development, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension within the royal family as they navigate the impending loss of King George V. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to convey the emotional weight of the situation. For instance, David's casual demeanor when discussing his relationship with Wallis contrasts sharply with the somber atmosphere, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his internal conflict regarding his father's health.
  • The transition between the library and the dining hall feels abrupt. While it serves to move the narrative forward, a smoother transition could help maintain the emotional continuity. Consider adding a brief moment where Bertie reflects on the conversation with David before entering the dining hall, which would deepen the audience's understanding of his emotional state.
  • The use of humor, particularly in David's interactions, is a double-edged sword. While it adds levity, it risks undermining the gravity of the situation. The irony in David's dialogue could be sharpened to reflect his awareness of the family's crisis, making his character more complex and relatable.
  • The scene lacks a strong visual element that could enhance the emotional stakes. Describing the setting in more detail—such as the dim lighting in the dining hall or the somber expressions of the family members—could help to create a more immersive atmosphere that reflects the tension and sadness of the moment.
  • The dialogue between David and the other characters, particularly Queen Mary and Lord Dawson, feels somewhat expository. While it serves to inform the audience about the King's condition, it could be more nuanced. Instead of directly stating how the King is, consider using indirect dialogue that reveals their concerns and emotions without explicitly stating them.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in David's dialogue to reflect his internal struggle with his father's health and his relationship with Wallis. This could involve him expressing frustration or guilt in a more nuanced way.
  • Add a transitional moment for Bertie before he enters the dining hall, allowing him to process his conversation with David. This could be a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that highlights his emotional state.
  • Enhance the irony in David's dialogue by having him acknowledge the gravity of the situation while still maintaining his flippant demeanor. This could create a more complex character who is aware of the stakes but chooses to deflect.
  • Include more descriptive visual elements in the setting to create a somber atmosphere. For example, describe the dim lighting, the arrangement of the dining table, or the expressions of the characters to evoke a sense of foreboding.
  • Revise the dialogue to be less expository and more indirect. Use subtle hints and emotional cues to convey the characters' feelings about the King's condition, allowing the audience to infer the gravity of the situation rather than being told directly.



Scene 23 -  A Legacy of Grief
INT. KING’S BEDROOM, SANDRINGHAM - NIGHT

Lord Dawson closes the King’s eyes.

COSMO LANG
We commend our brother George to
the mercy of God, our Maker and
Redeemer.

Queen Mary takes her eldest son’s hand and kisses it. Then
Bertie the same.

QUEEN MARY
Long live the King.
39


DAVID
(very emotional)
I hope I will make good as he has
made good.

David falls into his mother’s arms, sobbing.

He runs from the room.


INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE KING’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

David stands, smoking. Bertie comes from the bedroom to
comfort him. David looks broken-hearted.

BERTIE
What on earth was that?

DAVID
Poor Wallis. Now I’m trapped!
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the somber aftermath of King George's death at Sandringham, Lord Dawson performs the final rites while Cosmo Lang leads a prayer. Queen Mary mourns, kissing her sons' hands and proclaiming 'Long live the King.' David, overwhelmed by emotion and the weight of his father's legacy, breaks down in tears before fleeing the room. Outside, he grapples with feelings of entrapment due to his relationship with Wallis, as Bertie tries to offer comfort amidst the palpable grief.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, drawing the audience into the emotional turmoil of the characters and setting the stage for significant developments in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of bidding farewell to a beloved monarch is powerful and sets the stage for the unfolding drama within the royal family.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly as the family grapples with the loss of King George V, setting the stage for future conflicts and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on royal drama by delving into the personal struggles and emotional turmoil of the characters, rather than focusing solely on political intrigue or historical events. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters are deeply explored in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, relationships, and internal struggles.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes in this scene, particularly David, whose vulnerability is revealed in the face of loss.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his emotions and responsibilities as the new King. It reflects his deeper need for acceptance, his fear of failure, and his desire to live up to his brother's legacy.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to deal with the consequences of his brother's death and his new role as King. It reflects the immediate circumstances of his sudden ascension to the throne and the challenges he faces in fulfilling his duties.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is emotional conflict and tension in the scene, the primary focus is on the internal struggles of the characters rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his emotional resilience and decision-making, creating uncertainty and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the royal family grapples with the loss of their king and the implications for the monarchy.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting the stage for future conflicts and character development within the royal family.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's emotional outburst and unexpected reactions to the events, keeping the audience on edge about his future decisions and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between duty and personal desires. The protagonist must navigate his obligations as King with his personal feelings for Wallis, highlighting the tension between duty to the crown and personal happiness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the grief and turmoil of the characters as they bid farewell to their patriarch.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and conveys the emotional weight of the situation, adding depth to the characters' interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, intimate character interactions, and high stakes for the protagonist, drawing the audience into the personal drama and conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, with a gradual escalation of conflicts and character interactions that maintain the audience's interest and investment in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, emotional conflict, and resolution that advances the character arcs and overall plot.


Critique
  • The emotional weight of the scene is palpable, particularly with David's breakdown and the familial dynamics at play. However, the transition from the King's death to David's emotional turmoil feels abrupt. A more gradual build-up to David's emotional state could enhance the impact of his reaction.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the gravity of the moment, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, David's line about being 'trapped' could be expanded to reflect his internal conflict regarding his responsibilities and feelings for Wallis, adding depth to his character.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the imagery of Queen Mary kissing her son's hand. However, the scene could be enriched by incorporating more sensory details, such as the atmosphere in the room, the sounds of mourning, or the physical sensations experienced by the characters, to immerse the audience further.
  • Bertie's role in this scene feels somewhat passive. While he does attempt to comfort David, his own emotional response to the King's death is not fully explored. Adding a moment where Bertie reflects on his relationship with his father or his own fears about kingship could create a more dynamic interaction.
  • The pacing of the scene is quick, which may detract from the emotional resonance. Allowing for pauses or moments of silence could give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the King's passing and the subsequent emotional fallout.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared glance between the characters before David breaks down, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the King's death before the emotional outburst.
  • Expand David's dialogue to include more about his feelings of being trapped, perhaps referencing his love for Wallis and the expectations placed upon him as the new king, which would add complexity to his character.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as the dim lighting of the room, the sound of muffled sobs, or the scent of flowers, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Explore Bertie's emotional state more deeply. Perhaps include a line where he reflects on his father's legacy or his own fears about stepping into the role of king, which would add depth to his character and the scene.
  • Slow down the pacing by including moments of silence or hesitation, allowing the audience to fully grasp the emotional weight of the scene and the characters' reactions.



Scene 24 -  A Playful Farewell
INT. LOGUE’S CONSULTATION ROOM - NEW DAY

Lionel is at his desk listening to the radio. A news reader
is talking about the death of King George V.

Two of his sons sprawl on the floor. Valentine is studying
for the School Certificate. Antony, the youngest, is taking
a break from homework, building a model airplane.

He switches off the wireless.

ANTONY
Dad?

LIONEL
What?

ANTONY
Time for a Shake, dad?

LIONEL
(flattered)
You sure? Allright put your
thinking caps on.

VALENTINE
(looking up from his book)
Go on, Dad.

This was, and still is, a much loved ritual. Lionel
disappears behind a door..

ANTONY
Bet its the Scottish Play.
40


VALENTINE
No, I bet it’s Othello. It’s always
Othello.

LIONEL (OOMING OUT)
“Art thou afeard?”

VALENTINE
(Without even looking up)
Caliban!

LIONEL
Oh! For heaven’s sake.. that was a
lucky guess!

ANTONY
Don’t listen to egghead. Go on,
Dad.

Lionel has a pillow stuffed into his jacket to create a
monstrous hunchback. His acting, performed just for his lads,
is quite magical.

LIONEL
“Be not afeard; the isle is full of
noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give
delight, and hurt not. Sometimes a
thousand twanging instruments
Will hum about mine ears; and
sometimes voices,
That, if then I had waked after
long sleep,
Will make me sleep again:” (to
Valentine) Alright, clever clogs,
what comes next?

VALENTINE
“..and then, in dreaming, The
clouds methought would open, and
show riches Ready to drop upon me;
that...”

LIONEL
(overlapping)
...when I waked, I cried to dream
again.” It’s such a sad thought.

A KNOCK at the door. Lionel is not expecting anyone.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Next patient must be early. You
better go lads, I’m sorry.
(to the door)
Won’t be a moment, Clifford.
41
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Lionel's consultation room, he shares a lighthearted moment with his sons, Antony and Valentine, as they engage in their playful ritual of acting out a scene from Shakespeare. Amidst laughter and banter, Lionel humorously transforms into a hunchback to perform a scene from 'The Tempest.' Their joyful interaction is momentarily interrupted by the arrival of a patient, marking the end of their affectionate family time.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic character reactions
  • Compelling thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the King's passing and sets the stage for the family dynamics and challenges that will unfold in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the immediate aftermath of a monarch's death and its impact on the royal family is compelling and sets the stage for deeper character exploration and narrative development.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the King's passing, introducing new conflicts, tensions, and uncertainties that will drive the story forward and shape the characters' arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting family dynamics through the lens of literature and performance. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions in response to the King's death are authentic and nuanced, revealing their vulnerabilities, strengths, and complex relationships within the family.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters experience significant emotional shifts and realizations in response to the King's death, setting the stage for personal growth and transformation in the story.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to bond with his sons through a shared love of literature and performance. This reflects his deeper desire for connection and understanding with his family.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to attend to his patient, indicated by the unexpected knock at the door. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his personal life with his professional responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is emotional conflict and tension in the scene, the primary focus is on the characters' internal struggles and the looming uncertainties rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, as the protagonist must balance his personal and professional responsibilities.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes revolve around the uncertainty of the monarchy's future, the family's internal dynamics, and the personal challenges each character faces in the wake of the King's death.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts, character dynamics, and emotional stakes that will drive the narrative and shape the characters' journeys.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected knock at the door, introducing a new element of tension and conflict.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of art and literature in fostering relationships and emotional connections. The protagonist's belief in the power of Shakespeare's words to bring his family together challenges societal norms of masculinity and emotional expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and empathy for the characters as they grapple with the loss of the King and the challenges ahead.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, concerns, and reflections in the wake of the King's death, adding depth and authenticity to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, emotional depth, and playful interactions between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of humor, emotion, and tension, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, balancing dialogue, action, and character development effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a contrast between the somber news of King George V's death and the light-hearted family dynamic of Lionel Logue and his sons. This juxtaposition adds depth to the narrative, highlighting how life continues amidst tragedy. However, the transition from the serious news to the playful interaction could be more seamless. The abrupt shift may leave the audience feeling disoriented, as the emotional weight of the King's death is significant.
  • The dialogue between Lionel and his sons is engaging and showcases their close bond, but it could benefit from more specificity in their interactions. For instance, adding a line or two that reflects the boys' understanding of the King's death or their feelings about it could deepen the emotional resonance of the scene. This would also serve to connect the personal and public spheres more effectively.
  • Lionel's playful performance with the pillow is a charming moment, but it risks undermining the gravity of the preceding news. While humor is essential for character development and relief, it should be balanced carefully with the emotional stakes of the story. Consider incorporating a moment of reflection or acknowledgment of the King's death before diving into the playful ritual.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or conflict. While the playful banter is enjoyable, it doesn't drive the narrative forward or contribute to character development in a meaningful way. Introducing a subtle tension, such as Lionel's internal struggle with the news of the King's death while trying to maintain a light atmosphere for his children, could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial setup with the radio announcement is effective, but the subsequent dialogue and actions could be tightened to maintain momentum. Consider trimming some of the playful exchanges to keep the focus on the emotional undercurrents and the significance of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a brief moment of silence or reflection after the radio announcement before transitioning to the playful interaction. This could help ground the scene in the reality of the King's death while allowing the audience to process the news.
  • Incorporate lines that reflect the boys' awareness of the King's death, perhaps through a question or comment that acknowledges the gravity of the situation. This would create a stronger connection between the personal and public aspects of the story.
  • Balance the humor with moments of sincerity. For example, Lionel could express a fleeting thought about the King's legacy or the impact of his death on the nation before diving into the playful ritual with his sons.
  • Consider adding a subtle internal conflict for Lionel, such as a moment of hesitation or a fleeting expression of sadness before he engages in the playful performance. This would add depth to his character and highlight the emotional stakes.
  • Tighten the dialogue and actions to maintain a brisk pace. Focus on the most impactful exchanges and consider cutting any repetitive or less significant lines to keep the scene engaging and focused.



Scene 25 -  A Moment of Support
INT. WAITING ROOM TO LOGUE’S CHAMBERS - CONTINUOUS

The door opens. Bertie is on the other side.

The two men stare at each other, not sure what to say.

LIONEL
Bertie, they told me not to expect
you.
(beat)
Sorry about your father.

BERTIE
I don’t wish to intrude..
(gesturing towards the
consultation room)
May I?

LIONEL
Of course. Please come in.

BERTIE
I’ve been practising. One hour a
day. In spite of everything.
(notices Lionel’s hump)
What’s going on there?

LIONEL
I was, sorry, mucking around with
my kids.

Lionel hastily removes the pillow, tossing it away. Realizes
Bertie has entered the consultation room.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the waiting room of Logue's chambers, Bertie and Lionel share a brief yet poignant interaction. Lionel offers condolences for Bertie's father, while Bertie discusses his commitment to practice despite his personal challenges. The atmosphere is a blend of somberness and light-heartedness, highlighted by Lionel's casual removal of a pillow, symbolizing his effort to maintain professionalism. The scene concludes with Bertie entering the consultation room, signaling a shift to a more serious discussion.
Strengths
  • Effective tension building
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively static setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension, humor, and somberness to create a compelling interaction between the characters. The unexpected encounter adds depth to the storyline and keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the unexpected encounter between Bertie and Lionel is intriguing and adds complexity to their relationship. The scene sets up further development in their dynamic.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly in this scene as Bertie and Lionel have a crucial interaction that hints at future developments. The tension and humor add layers to the overall storyline.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the familiar theme of overcoming personal challenges, focusing on the emotional journey of the characters rather than the external obstacles they face. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Bertie and Lionel are well-developed in this scene, with their conflicting emotions and dynamics coming to the forefront. The scene adds depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bertie and Lionel undergo subtle changes in their dynamic during this scene, setting the stage for further character development. Their unexpected encounter hints at future shifts.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to connect with Lionel on a personal level and seek his help despite the societal barriers between them. This reflects Bertie's deeper need for support and understanding in overcoming his speech impediment.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to seek speech therapy from Lionel to improve his speech impediment. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in preparing for his royal duties.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is subtle but present, primarily revolving around the tension between Bertie and Lionel. The conflicting emotions add depth to the interaction.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong but not overwhelming, creating a sense of challenge and uncertainty for the characters as they navigate their conflicting goals and emotions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high in this scene, particularly in terms of the characters' emotional states and the potential impact of their interaction on the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between Bertie and Lionel and hinting at future conflicts and resolutions. It sets the stage for significant developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the uncertain dynamic between Bertie and Lionel, the unexpected gestures and reactions, and the unresolved tension at the end of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between social status and personal connection. Bertie, as a royal figure, must navigate the expectations of his position while seeking help from someone outside his social circle. This challenges his beliefs about hierarchy and humility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, especially in the somber moments between Bertie and Lionel. The tension and humor also evoke strong emotional responses.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension, humor, and somberness of the interaction between Bertie and Lionel. The exchanges are meaningful and drive the scene forward.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the tension between the characters, the emotional stakes involved, and the subtle hints at their inner struggles. The audience is drawn into the intimate interaction between Bertie and Lionel.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, pauses, and gestures that maintain the tension and emotional depth of the interaction between Bertie and Lionel.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The clarity of the formatting enhances the readability of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and scene transitions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Bertie's visit to Lionel Logue following the death of his father. The initial silence between the two characters conveys their shared understanding of the gravity of the situation, which is a strong choice that sets the tone for their interaction.
  • Bertie's line about practicing for an hour a day, despite everything, reveals his determination and commitment to overcoming his speech impediment. This line serves as a poignant reminder of his struggles and adds depth to his character, showcasing his resilience in the face of personal tragedy.
  • Lionel's casual demeanor, illustrated by his playful interaction with his children and the pillow, contrasts sharply with the somber context of Bertie's visit. This juxtaposition adds a layer of complexity to Lionel's character, suggesting that he uses humor as a coping mechanism. However, it may also risk undermining the emotional gravity of the scene if not handled delicately.
  • The dialogue flows naturally, but the scene could benefit from additional subtext or non-verbal cues to enhance the emotional resonance. For instance, incorporating physical gestures or expressions that reflect their internal struggles could deepen the audience's connection to the characters.
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the previous one, but it might be helpful to include a brief visual or auditory cue that reinforces the emotional atmosphere, such as the sound of distant mourning or a visual of Bertie's somber expression as he enters the waiting room.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared glance between Bertie and Lionel before they speak, which could heighten the emotional tension and emphasize their mutual understanding of the loss.
  • Incorporate more physicality into the scene, such as Bertie fidgeting with his hands or Lionel adjusting his posture, to visually convey their emotional states and enhance the subtext of their conversation.
  • Explore the use of ambient sound or music to underscore the emotional weight of the scene. A subtle, somber score could enhance the atmosphere and draw the audience further into the characters' emotional experiences.
  • You might want to expand on Lionel's playful nature by including a brief anecdote about his children that could serve as a moment of levity, but ensure it doesn't detract from the overall tone of the scene. This could help balance the gravity of Bertie's situation with a touch of warmth.
  • Consider concluding the scene with a more definitive emotional beat, such as Bertie expressing a specific fear or hope regarding his speech therapy, which could set the stage for their upcoming session and provide a clearer narrative direction.



Scene 26 -  Echoes of the Past
INT. LOGUE’S CONSULTATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS

LIONEL
Do you feel like working today?

Bertie notices the plane left behind by Logue’s sons.

BERTIE
A Curtis bi-plane.

LOGUE
I’ll put on some hot milk.

BERTIE
Logue, I’d kill for something
stronger.

LIONEL
I wasn’t there for my father’s
death. Still makes me sad.

BERTIE
I can imagine so.
42


Lionel passes Bertie a brandy.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
What did you father do?

LIONEL
A brewer.

BERTIE
Oh.

LIONEL
At least there was free beer.

Pause.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Here’s to the memory of your
father.

They sit.

BERTIE
I was informed, after the fact, my
father’s last words were: “Bertie
has more guts than the rest of his
brothers put together.” He couldn’t
say that to my face.

Silence.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
(blurts)
My brother. That’s why I’m here.

LIONEL
What’s he done?

BERTIE
Can’t say. I can’t puh-puh-puh...

His jaw and throat muscles constrict.

LIONEL
Try singing it.

BERTIE
Pardon?

LIONEL
Know any songs?

BERTIE
Songs?

LIONEL
Yes songs.
43


BERTIE
“Swanee River”.

LIONEL
I love that song.

BERTIE
Happens to be my favorite.

LIONEL
Sing it then. Give me the chorus.

BERTIE
No. Certainly not.
(fascinated by the plane)
Always wanted to build models.
Father wouldn’t allow it. He
collected stamps. I had to collect
stamps.

LIONEL
You can finish that off.

Bertie eagerly reaches for some balsa.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
If you sing.
(to “Swanee River”)
“When I was a boy with David...upon
the Swanee River.”

BERTIE
I can’t sit here singing!

LIONEL
You can with me.

BERTIE
Because you’re peculiar.

LIONEL
I take that as a compliment.

BERTIE
I’m not crooning “Swanee River!”

LIONEL
Try “Camptown Races” then.
(sings)
“My brother D, he said to me, doo-
dah doo-dah...” Continuous sound
will give you flow. Does it feel
strange, now that David’s on the
throne?

BERTIE
It was a relief... Knowing I
wouldn’t be King.
44


Reaches into his jacket for his cigarette case. Then
remembers, puts it away.

LIONEL
But unless he produces an heir,
you’re next in line. And your
daughter, Elizabeth, would then
succeed you.

BERTIE
“You’re barking up the wrong tree
now, Doctor, Doctor.”

LIONEL
“Lionel, Lionel.” You didn’t
stammer.

BERTIE
Of course I didn’t stammer, I was
singing!
(realises)
Oh...

LIONEL
Well, as a little reward, you get
to put some glue on these struts.

BERTIE
David and I were very close. Young
bucks... You know.

LIONEL
Chase the same girls?

BERTIE
David was always very helpful in
arranging introductions. We shared
the expert ministrations of
“Paulette” in Paris. Not at the
same time of course.

An uncomfortable silence. Too much has been said.

LIONEL
Did David tease you?

BERTIE
They all did. “Buh-buh-buh-Bertie”.
Father encouraged it. “Get it out,
boy!” Said it would make me stop.
Said...”I was afraid of my father,
and my children are damn well going
to be afraid of me”.

Lionel has been watching Bertie work on the model.

LIONEL
Naturally right handed?
45


BERTIE
Left. I was punished. Now I use the
right.

LIONEL
Yes, that’s very common with
stammerers. Anything other
corrections?

BERTIE
Knock knees.

Lionel waits.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
Metal splints were made...worn
night and day.

LIONEL
That must have been painful.

BERTIE
Bloody agony. Straight legs now.

LIONEL
Who were you closest to in your
family?

BERTIE
Nannies. Not my first nanny,
though..she loved David...hated me.
When I was presented to my parents
for the daily viewing, she’d...

The stammering produced by the memory halts him.

LIONEL
Sing it.

BERTIE
(tunelessly)
“She pinch me so I’d cry,
and be sent away at once,
then she wouldn’t feed me, far far
away.”
(speaks)
Took three years for my parents to
notice. As you can imagine, it
caused some stomach problems.
Still.

LIONEL
What about your brother Johnnie?
Were you close to him?

BERTIE
Sweet boy. Epilepsy...and...he
was ’different’.
(MORE)
46

BERTIE (CONT'D)
Died at 13, hidden from view. Too
embarrassing for the family.
(nervous)
I’ve been told it’s not catching.

LIONEL
Do you want a top-up?

BERTIE
Please.

Lionel gets up to pour another drink.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
You know, Lionel, you’re the first
ordinary Englishman...

LIONEL
Australian.

BERTIE
...I’ve ever really spoken to.
Sometimes, when I ride through the
streets and see, you know, the
Common Man staring at me, I’m
struck by how little I know of his
life, and how little he knows of
mine.

LIONEL
What’re friends for.

BERTIE
I wouldn’t know.


ARCHIVE FOOTAGE OF KING GEORGE V’S STATE FUNERAL

The common man, and woman, en masse. Thousands of them,
solemn in their bereavement.

Funereal bagpipes wail, joining the measured drum-rolls.

Ranks upon ranks of military personnel slow-stepping the
ceremonial death march.

Muffled cannons bark their salute.

Startled, a large flock of blackbirds rise up and streak
across the wintery sky.

A Naval squad pulls a gun carriage that carries the King’s
coffin draped with the Royal standard, on which rests the
Royal crown topped by a jeweled Maltese Cross.

On Whitehall, the gun carriage passes the Cenotaph.
47


PATHE NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER
All salute as they pass the
Cenotaph. One million died for
him...as King George died for them.

We see naval cadets salute to their right.

END ARCHIVE FOOTAGE.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Logue's consultation room, Bertie opens up to Lionel about his family, revealing his father's last words and reflecting on his deceased brother, Johnnie. Their conversation shifts to humor as Lionel encourages Bertie to sing to alleviate his stammer, leading to light-hearted exchanges about their childhoods. The scene juxtaposes personal loss with public mourning through archive footage of King George V's funeral, highlighting the emotional weight of grief.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Nuanced performances
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, focusing on character development and emotional depth. It effectively sets the tone for the evolving relationship between Bertie and Lionel, providing insight into their past traumas and current struggles.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring shared grief and unspoken bonds between two characters is compelling and adds depth to the narrative. It sets the stage for future developments in their relationship and personal growth.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is subtle in this scene, it lays the groundwork for the evolving dynamics between Bertie and Lionel. The focus on character interactions and emotional revelations drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical figures and events, delving into the personal struggles and vulnerabilities of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and reveals layers of complexity in the relationships portrayed.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Both Bertie and Lionel are portrayed with depth and complexity, revealing their inner struggles and vulnerabilities. The scene allows for character growth and sets the stage for their evolving relationship.

Character Changes: 7

Both Bertie and Lionel experience subtle shifts in their perspectives and emotional states during the scene. It marks the beginning of their personal growth and evolving relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to open up about his family and personal struggles, particularly his relationship with his father and brothers. This reflects his deeper need for understanding and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to seek help from Logue for his speech impediment, which is indirectly related to his role in the monarchy and the expectations placed upon him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' personal struggles and past traumas. It sets the stage for potential conflicts and resolutions in their relationship.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but present, as Bertie grapples with his own insecurities and the expectations placed upon him. The audience is left wondering how he will navigate these challenges.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not overtly high in this scene, the emotional stakes for Bertie and Lionel are significant. Their personal growth and relationship dynamics are at stake, laying the foundation for future conflicts and resolutions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the bond between Bertie and Lionel and setting the stage for future developments. It adds layers to the characters and narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and shifts in power dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes as they learn more about Bertie's past and struggles.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between societal expectations and personal identity. Bertie struggles with his stammer and the pressure of being next in line for the throne, while also grappling with his own desires and vulnerabilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the characters' vulnerabilities and shared grief. It evokes feelings of empathy and connection with Bertie and Lionel.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and revealing, showcasing the characters' emotional states and personal histories. It effectively conveys the unspoken connections between Bertie and Lionel.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intimate and emotionally charged interactions between Bertie and Logue. The dialogue is compelling and reveals layers of the characters' personalities.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of introspection and emotional depth, as well as lighter moments of humor and connection between the characters. It contributes to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue cues. It adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural flow of conversation and character development, with a clear progression of emotional beats. It adheres to the expected structure for a character-driven drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamic between Bertie and Lionel, showcasing their growing rapport through humor and vulnerability. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository, particularly when Bertie discusses his family history. This could be streamlined to maintain a more natural flow.
  • The use of humor, especially through the singing suggestion, is a strong point that lightens the mood amidst the somber context of Bertie's father's death. However, the transition from humor to deeper emotional revelations could be more seamless. The abrupt shifts in tone may confuse the audience about the emotional stakes.
  • Bertie's character is well-developed through his reflections on family and his stammer, but the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. For instance, showing Bertie's physical reactions or expressions while discussing painful memories could enhance the emotional impact.
  • The introduction of the archive footage at the end serves as a poignant reminder of the King's death, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding dialogue. A smoother transition or a more explicit connection between Bertie's personal struggles and the public mourning could strengthen the thematic resonance.
  • Lionel's character is portrayed as supportive and quirky, but his motivations could be further explored. Why is he so invested in Bertie's progress? Adding a line or two that hints at his own struggles or desires could deepen his character and make the audience more invested in their relationship.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to reduce exposition. Instead of Bertie explaining his father's last words, perhaps show his emotional reaction to hearing them, allowing the audience to infer their significance.
  • Enhance the emotional transitions by incorporating more physicality in the performances. For example, Bertie's body language could reflect his discomfort or nostalgia when discussing his family, making the emotional stakes clearer.
  • Integrate Lionel's backstory or motivations subtly throughout the scene. A brief mention of his own family dynamics could create a parallel that enriches both characters' arcs.
  • Rework the transition to the archive footage to create a more cohesive narrative. Perhaps have Bertie reflect on the public's grief in relation to his own, linking the personal and the public more effectively.
  • Explore the use of silence and pauses more strategically. Allow moments of reflection after significant lines to let the weight of the dialogue resonate with the audience before moving on.



Scene 27 -  Reflections at the Cenotaph
EXT. WHITEHALL - DAY

David, very solemn, Bertie - pale and fragile, their brothers
Henry and George all salute as they pass the Cenotaph.

The crowd is silent.

Lionel, Myrtle, and all three boys are part of the crowd,
half a dozen rows back. Antony and Valentine have mirrors on
sticks to see over the heads.

LIONEL
(whispers a running
commentary to the boys)
That’s the Prince of Wales. He’s
now King because he’s the oldest.

Lionel spots...

Bertie, in the procession passing by.

Lionel stares at him. Tries to make eye contact. In the midst
of this pomp and ceremony the immense potential importance of
his client sinks in. Of course, Bertie doesn’t see him.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Quite an irony...all this.

MYRTLE
Why’s that?

LIONEL
His children weren’t too fond of
him.

MYRTLE
Lionel! What a thing to say.
Where’d you pick that up?

LIONEL
Heard it...at work.

Lionel points, to distract.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Think the German will make it?
48


Return to archive footage, a contorted limping German is
seen. The procession of dignitaries continues.

PATHE NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER
....fifteen Kings of Europe and
eleven Princes of the Realm are
here...
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary During a solemn procession at the Cenotaph, David, Bertie, and their brothers salute in silence while Lionel and Myrtle observe from the crowd. Lionel comments on the irony of Bertie's strained relationship with his children, which Myrtle finds inappropriate. A brief distraction occurs as Lionel points out a German figure in the procession. The scene captures the gravity of the occasion and the personal dynamics at play, ending with a transition to archive footage accompanied by a newsreel announcer.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character interactions
  • Atmospheric setting
Weaknesses
  • Lack of overt conflict
  • Minimal dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of a royal funeral, intertwining personal reflections and interactions to create a poignant moment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing a royal funeral procession with personal reflections and interactions adds depth and complexity to the scene, elevating its emotional impact.

Plot: 8

The plot progression focuses on the characters' reactions to the funeral procession, offering insights into their relationships and emotions, contributing to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and characters, with authentic dialogue and nuanced character dynamics.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions are well-developed, showcasing their emotional depth and personal struggles in the face of a significant event.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' emotions and perspectives, the scene primarily focuses on their reactions to the event rather than significant character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Lionel's internal goal is to recognize the importance of his client, Bertie, in the midst of the royal procession and to reflect on the complexities of their relationship.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the social dynamics and historical significance of the royal procession.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks overt conflict but focuses more on emotional tension and personal struggles within the characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, keeping the audience engaged and uncertain about the characters' fates.

High Stakes: 6

The high stakes are implied through the royal funeral procession and the characters' personal reflections, highlighting the significance of the event and its impact on the characters.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters and their relationships, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected revelations about the characters and their relationships.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the complexities of family relationships, loyalty, and public perception of royalty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, capturing the sadness and nostalgia of a royal farewell.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and reflections with subtlety and depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of historical context, emotional depth, and subtle character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional depth.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the somber atmosphere of the funeral procession, emphasizing the weight of the moment through the characters' expressions and actions. However, the dialogue could be more impactful. Lionel's commentary, while intended to provide insight, feels somewhat detached and could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. Instead of merely stating facts, Lionel could express his personal feelings about Bertie's situation, which would enhance the emotional stakes.
  • The use of the children with mirrors is a clever visual device that adds a layer of innocence and curiosity to the otherwise heavy scene. However, their presence could be better integrated into the emotional core of the scene. For instance, their reactions to the procession could be highlighted to contrast the solemnity of the adults, thereby enriching the narrative.
  • The transition to the archive footage is a strong choice, but it feels abrupt. A smoother transition could be achieved by incorporating a moment of reflection from Lionel or Myrtle before the footage begins, allowing the audience to digest the weight of the moment before shifting to the historical context.
  • Lionel's line about Bertie's children not being fond of him is a bold statement that could be more effectively framed. While it adds a layer of irony, it risks coming off as callous without sufficient context. Providing a brief explanation or a more nuanced delivery could help maintain the scene's emotional integrity.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc for the characters involved. While it sets a somber tone, it doesn't explore the internal conflicts or feelings of the characters, particularly Bertie and David. Adding subtle visual cues or internal monologues could deepen the audience's connection to their emotional states during this pivotal moment.
Suggestions
  • Enhance Lionel's dialogue to reflect more personal emotion regarding Bertie's situation, perhaps by sharing a memory or a feeling that connects him to Bertie's struggles.
  • Integrate the children's reactions more prominently, allowing their innocence to contrast with the somberness of the adults, which could heighten the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection from Lionel or Myrtle before transitioning to the archive footage, allowing the audience to process the gravity of the moment.
  • Reframe Lionel's comment about Bertie's children to provide more context or nuance, ensuring it aligns with the overall emotional tone of the scene.
  • Explore the internal conflicts of Bertie and David through visual storytelling or subtle dialogue, giving the audience a deeper understanding of their emotional states during the procession.



Scene 28 -  Sifting Thistles and Fallen Trees
EXT. AUSTIN DRIVING THRU SCOTTISH ESTATE - NEW DAY

BERTIE (O.S.)
“I sifted seven thick-stalked
thistles through strong thick
sieves. I sifted seven...”

ELIZABETH (O.S.)
Bertie, isn’t that enough?

BERTIE (O.S.)
I have to keep saying it. This is
your fault.

CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! The sound of an axe.

Fallen trees start to litter the roadside.


INT. AUSTIN, ROYAL COUNTRY ESTATE - CONTINUOUS

Bertie and Elizabeth are dressed for a party. Outside, fallen
trees, and more falling. They’re aghast.

ELIZABETH
Five hundred year old
oaks...removed to improve the view!

BERTIE
Nonetheless...we must try to be
pleasant towards Mrs Simpson.

ELIZABETH
You know she calls me “The Fat
Scottish Cook”?

BERTIE
You’re not fat.

ELIZABETH
I’m getting plump.

BERTIE
You seldom cook.

She gives her husband a look, but realizes he’s teasing. She
gasps and points:

POV - more trees being felled.
49


BERTIE (CONT’D)
I sifted seven.

ELIZABETH
Shut up!!
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, Bertie humorously recites a tongue twister about sifting thistles, aimed at teasing Elizabeth, who is frustrated by the sight of ancient oak trees being cut down to improve the view. Their playful banter reveals their dynamic, with Bertie lightheartedly poking fun at Elizabeth's cooking and weight, while she expresses her dismay over the environmental destruction and her feelings towards Mrs. Simpson. The contrast between their lighthearted teasing and the serious issue of tree removal creates a mix of humor and frustration, culminating in Elizabeth's exasperated exclamation, 'Shut up!!' as Bertie continues his tongue twister.
Strengths
  • Effective balance of tension and humor
  • Insightful character dynamics
  • Setting up potential conflicts and character growth
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of deeper emotional conflicts
  • Potential lack of resolution for introduced conflicts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively balances tension, humor, and reflection, providing insight into the characters' relationships and setting up potential conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of contrasting light-hearted banter with a serious environmental issue adds depth to the scene and sets up potential conflicts and character growth.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses by introducing the tension between Bertie and Elizabeth regarding Mrs. Simpson and the destruction of the trees, setting up potential conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the clash between tradition and progress, with unique character dynamics and dialogue that feel authentic.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The scene provides insight into Bertie and Elizabeth's relationship dynamics, showcasing their banter and concern for the estate, setting the stage for potential growth and conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

The scene hints at potential character growth and changes, especially in Bertie and Elizabeth's relationship dynamics, as they navigate personal and external challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to maintain a facade of politeness and composure despite his frustration with the situation. This reflects his desire to uphold his royal duties and maintain appearances.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to navigate the social dynamics at the party and interact with Mrs. Simpson diplomatically. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with interpersonal conflicts and maintaining relationships.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the tension between Bertie and Elizabeth regarding Mrs. Simpson and the destruction of the trees, setting the stage for potential emotional and external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with interpersonal conflicts and the clash of values creating obstacles for the characters.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate in the scene, focusing on personal and environmental challenges that could impact the characters' relationships and the estate.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts and potential character arcs, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and the unexpected humor that arises from the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the preservation of tradition and the pursuit of progress. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about duty and modernization.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, from humor to concern, creating a sense of tension and setting up potential emotional arcs for the characters.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and relationships, blending humor with concern and setting up potential conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, conflict, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with a rhythmic flow that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven sequence, with clear character motivations and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses humor to lighten the tension surrounding Bertie's struggles with his speech impediment and the societal pressures he faces. The playful banter between Bertie and Elizabeth showcases their relationship dynamics, which is a strong point of the scene.
  • However, the transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. The emotional weight of the funeral and the solemnity of the previous scene could be better connected to the lighter tone of this scene. A brief moment of reflection or acknowledgment of the recent loss could enhance the emotional depth.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures the couple's rapport, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, while Bertie's teasing about Elizabeth's cooking is humorous, it might also serve to highlight his own insecurities or frustrations about their social obligations, adding layers to their interaction.
  • The visual imagery of the fallen trees is a strong metaphor for change and loss, paralleling Bertie's own struggles. However, the significance of the trees could be more explicitly tied to the characters' emotional states. A line or two reflecting on the loss of the trees could deepen the thematic resonance.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the repetition of the tongue twister could be trimmed or varied to maintain engagement. While it serves as a comedic element, it risks becoming monotonous if not balanced with other actions or dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Bertie reflects on the recent loss of his father before diving into the humor. This could create a smoother transition and provide emotional grounding for the scene.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to reveal deeper feelings or insecurities. For example, Bertie's teasing could hint at his own struggles with self-image or societal expectations.
  • Enhance the metaphor of the fallen trees by including a line where Bertie or Elizabeth reflects on what the trees represent, perhaps relating it to their own lives or the changes they are facing.
  • Vary the repetition of the tongue twister or introduce a new element to keep the audience engaged. For instance, Bertie could momentarily lose focus and reflect on something more serious before returning to the tongue twister.
  • Consider using visual cues to emphasize the emotional weight of the scene, such as close-ups of Bertie's or Elizabeth's expressions as they react to the fallen trees, reinforcing the theme of loss.



Scene 29 -  Tension at Balmoral
INT. BALLROOM, BALMORAL - DAY

A weekend house party. Drinks at teatime. Five or six friends
dance to a gramophone. A couple are already drunk. At the
epicenter, David, the very picture of insouciance, and
WALLIS, clinging to his arm, dripping in jewelry. Wallis’
most attractive physical feature is her back, displayed fully
by her choice of dress. Surrounded by their entourage, they
are the apex of chic.

A FOOTMAN announces:

FOOTMAN
Their Royal Highnesses the Duke and
Duchess of York.

Elizabeth freezes as Wallis sweeps forward to greet them.

WALLIS
How lovely to see you both. Welcome
to our little country shack.

Elizabeth stares at her, incredulous, then sails past,
announcing to no one in particular:

ELIZABETH
I came at the invitation of the
King.

Wallis is wrongfooted. Elizabeth and Bertie reach David.
Elizabeth curtsies to David, and Bertie gives David a nod.

BERTIE
Hello David.

DAVID
Hello Bertie. Hello Elizabeth.

David kisses Elizabeth on both cheeks.

BERTIE
I see you’re making some changes to
the garden.

DAVID
I am. I am not quite finished.

David’s eyes are drawn by Wallis.

WALLIS
David!
50


She taps her champagne glass.

A footman goes into action, but Wallis waves him off. David
leaves instead.

DAVID
(calling to Wallis)
Just be a sec, darling!

Bertie pursues him.

One of the guests - WINSTON CHURCHILL - nursing a glass of
champagne moves up to Elizabeth.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary During a lavish weekend house party at Balmoral, David and Wallis capture the spotlight with their fashionable presence. Elizabeth, shocked by Wallis's boldness, makes a pointed remark about her invitation from the King, creating palpable tension. Wallis attempts to engage with the Duke and Duchess of York but is momentarily thrown off by Elizabeth's incredulity. As David leaves his conversation with Bertie to attend to Wallis, Winston Churchill approaches Elizabeth, shifting the focus away from the brewing rivalry.
Strengths
  • Nuanced character interactions
  • Political intrigue
  • Tension-filled dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on individual character development
  • Some predictable character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up interpersonal conflicts and political tensions within the royal family, creating intrigue and drama. The dialogue and character interactions are engaging, and the introduction of Winston Churchill adds depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a royal encounter at a house party effectively introduces key characters, conflicts, and themes that will drive the narrative forward. The scene sets the stage for future developments in the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the tense encounter between Elizabeth, Bertie, David, and Wallis, setting up interpersonal conflicts and political tensions within the royal family. The introduction of Winston Churchill adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting high society interactions and power struggles, with authentic character actions and dialogue that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with nuanced personalities and conflicting motivations that drive the drama of the scene. Each character's interactions reveal layers of complexity and set the stage for future character arcs.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' dynamics and motivations, the scene primarily focuses on establishing the initial conflicts and tensions that will drive future character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Elizabeth's internal goal in this scene is to assert her own importance and connection to the King in the face of Wallis' presence and influence. This reflects her deeper need for validation and recognition in a high society setting.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the social dynamics and interactions at the party, particularly in relation to Wallis and David. Elizabeth aims to maintain her status and dignity in the face of Wallis' presence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene has a high level of interpersonal and political conflict, with tensions running high between the characters. The conflicting motivations and emotions drive the drama of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, power struggles, and interpersonal conflicts that create obstacles for the protagonist and keep the audience engaged in the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The scene has high stakes due to the political tensions, personal conflicts, and family dynamics at play. The characters' actions and decisions have far-reaching consequences that will impact the future of the royal family.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, characters, and themes that will shape the narrative. It sets the stage for future developments and plot twists.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, unexpected character actions, and unresolved conflicts that leave the audience guessing about the characters' motivations and intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash of social status, power dynamics, and personal relationships. Elizabeth's belief in her own worth and connection to the King is challenged by Wallis' confident and assertive demeanor.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of tension, incredulity, determination, and heartbreak. The complex relationships and conflicts between the characters evoke a range of emotions from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tensions and conflicts between the characters, adding depth to their interactions. The verbal sparring and subtle exchanges reveal underlying emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tension between characters, the high stakes of social status, and the dramatic interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue exchanges with descriptive details, maintaining tension and suspense, and moving the story forward at a steady pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that aid in visualizing the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a period drama genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and setting descriptions that enhance the narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the social dynamics at play during the house party, particularly the tension between Elizabeth and Wallis. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the underlying conflict. Elizabeth's incredulity and Wallis's boldness are clear, but adding layers to their exchanges could deepen the audience's engagement.
  • The description of Wallis as 'dripping in jewelry' and her back being her most attractive feature sets a visual tone, but it risks reducing her character to mere physicality. Consider giving Wallis a line that showcases her personality or wit, which would make her more three-dimensional and engaging.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from Elizabeth's incredulity to her curt response. Allowing for a moment of silence or a reaction shot could heighten the tension and give the audience a chance to absorb the awkwardness of the situation.
  • Bertie's interaction with David is brief and lacks emotional weight. This is a pivotal moment where Bertie is confronted with his brother's choices and their implications. Expanding this exchange could provide insight into Bertie's internal conflict and his feelings about David's relationship with Wallis.
  • The introduction of Winston Churchill feels somewhat abrupt. While his presence adds historical context, it may distract from the central conflict between the royal couple and Wallis. Consider integrating Churchill's character more seamlessly into the scene, perhaps by having him comment on the tension or the atmosphere.
Suggestions
  • Add subtext to Elizabeth and Wallis's dialogue to convey their rivalry more subtly. For example, have Wallis make a seemingly innocuous comment that carries a double meaning, prompting a sharp response from Elizabeth.
  • Include a moment where Wallis acknowledges Elizabeth's presence with a sly remark or a compliment that feels insincere, showcasing her confidence and further establishing the tension.
  • Incorporate a reaction shot of Elizabeth after Wallis's greeting to emphasize her incredulity. This could be a close-up that captures her emotions, allowing the audience to connect with her discomfort.
  • Expand the dialogue between Bertie and David to explore their relationship dynamics. Perhaps Bertie could express concern or disappointment about David's choices, which would add depth to their interaction.
  • Consider having Churchill make a comment that reflects the political climate or the absurdity of the situation, which could serve to lighten the mood while still acknowledging the tension present in the room.



Scene 30 -  Royal Concerns and Urgent Pursuits
INT. DRAWING ROOM/PORTRAIT GALLERY, BALMORAL - DAY

Elizabeth is standing in front of a canvas of George IV when
Churchill arrives at her side.

ELIZABETH
Don’t tell me I behaved badly, Mr
Churchill.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
On the contrary, your Royal
Highness. Etiquette decrees royalty
must be greeted by the official
host: in this case: the King. Not a
commoner. You behaved impeccably.
As always.

ELIZABETH
Thank you.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
I’m always amused when you’re
referred to as being a commoner. As
common as the Scottish kings from
whom you descend.

ELIZABETH
Your flattery is profound. What is
your agenda, Mr Churchill?

WINSTON CHURCHILL
(pause, then)
Did she actually say what I thought
she said?

ELIZABETH
You know she did.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
What is her hold on him?
51


ELIZABETH
Apparently she has
certain...skills, which she learnt
in an establishment in Shanghai.

Churchill almost spills his new champagne.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Mam, I’d not realized you were so
well versed in such matters.

They catch a distant glimpse of David hurrying down a
corridor, followed by Bertie, determined to catch up.
Genres: ["Historical Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In the drawing room of Balmoral, Elizabeth discusses royal etiquette with Winston Churchill, who reassures her about her behavior. Their conversation turns to a mysterious woman influencing David, revealing her intriguing skills learned in Shanghai, which surprises Churchill. The scene concludes with David rushing down a corridor, pursued by Bertie, heightening the tension surrounding the situation.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • Political and personal intrigue
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on character development
  • Some dialogue may be too exposition-heavy

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the intrigue and complexity of royal relationships, setting up future conflicts and character developments. The dialogue is sharp and reveals underlying tensions, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the political and personal dynamics within the royal family is compelling and sets the stage for future conflicts and character arcs. The introduction of external influences like Wallis Simpson adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing key conflicts and power struggles within the royal family. The tension between characters and the revelation of Wallis Simpson's influence add layers to the narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on royal drama, blending historical elements with contemporary themes of power, manipulation, and personal agency. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. The interactions between Elizabeth, Churchill, and Wallis Simpson reveal their complex relationships and set the stage for future conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in character dynamics, particularly in Elizabeth's reaction to Wallis Simpson, the scene primarily focuses on establishing the existing power dynamics and conflicts within the royal family.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain her composure and dignity in the face of social expectations and personal challenges. This reflects her deeper need for respect, control, and self-assurance.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate political intrigue and personal relationships within the royal family. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges she faces in maintaining her position and influence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with tensions rising between characters and the introduction of external influences creating further complications. The power struggles and personal dynamics add depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong but not overwhelming, creating a sense of challenge and conflict for the characters without overshadowing the main narrative. The audience is intrigued by the obstacles and uncertainties faced by the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with power struggles, personal relationships, and political implications at play. The influence of external figures like Wallis Simpson adds a layer of complexity and raises the stakes for the royal family.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, power struggles, and external influences that will shape future events. The revelations about Wallis Simpson's influence and the tensions within the royal family propel the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the subtle power shifts, hidden agendas, and unexpected revelations that challenge the characters' beliefs and motivations. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between social status and personal agency. The protagonist must balance her royal duties with her individual desires and beliefs, challenging traditional values and expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of curiosity and concern, drawing the audience into the political intrigue and personal conflicts within the royal family. The emotional stakes are high, setting the stage for future drama.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the underlying tensions and power dynamics within the royal family. The exchanges between characters are filled with subtext and intrigue, keeping the audience captivated.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, intriguing character dynamics, and thematic depth. The audience is drawn into the world of the story, eager to uncover the secrets and conflicts at play.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and character development. The rhythm builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding drama.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The visual and auditory elements are well-balanced, contributing to the scene's immersive quality.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama, with clear character introductions, conflict development, and thematic exploration. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's effectiveness and engagement.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Elizabeth and Churchill is sharp and witty, effectively showcasing their relationship and the tension surrounding Wallis Simpson. However, the scene could benefit from deeper emotional stakes. While the conversation is engaging, it lacks a sense of urgency or personal investment that could elevate the stakes for Elizabeth, especially given the context of her husband's struggles with David's choices.
  • The use of the portrait of George IV as a backdrop is visually symbolic, representing the weight of royal history and the expectations placed on Elizabeth. However, the scene could further explore this symbolism by having Elizabeth reflect on her own role within that history, perhaps expressing her fears or frustrations about the monarchy's future.
  • Churchill's character is portrayed as both charming and insightful, but his dialogue could be more layered. Instead of simply providing reassurance, he could challenge Elizabeth's views or provoke her thoughts about the implications of David's relationship with Wallis, adding depth to their interaction.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the transition from the dialogue to the visual of David and Bertie. A moment of silence or a lingering shot on Elizabeth's reaction to Churchill's comments could enhance the emotional weight of the scene, allowing the audience to absorb the implications of their conversation.
  • The scene ends with a visual cue of David hurrying down the corridor, which is effective in creating a sense of movement. However, it could be more impactful if it included Elizabeth's reaction to this sight, perhaps showing her concern or frustration, thereby tying her emotional state more closely to the unfolding events.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Elizabeth reflects on her own insecurities or fears regarding the monarchy, which would deepen her character and make her dialogue with Churchill more impactful.
  • Introduce a line or two where Churchill challenges Elizabeth's perspective on Wallis, prompting her to consider the broader implications of her husband's choices, thus adding complexity to their conversation.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly by incorporating a moment of silence or a close-up on Elizabeth's face after Churchill's comments, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the situation before transitioning to the visual of David and Bertie.
  • Enhance the visual symbolism of the portrait by having Elizabeth interact with it in some way, perhaps touching it or expressing a thought about the past, which would create a stronger connection between her and the historical context.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more explicit emotional reaction from Elizabeth as she sees David and Bertie, which would provide a stronger emotional hook for the audience and set up the tension for the next scene.



Scene 31 -  A Fractured Royal Duty
INT. CORRIDOR, BALMORAL - CONTINUOUS

Bertie catches his brother.

BERTIE
I’ve been trying to see you...

DAVID
I’ve been terribly busy.

BERTIE
Doing what?

DAVID
Kinging.

BERTIE
Really? Kinging? Kinging is a
precarious business! Where is the
Tsar of Russia? Where is Cousin
Wilhelm?

DAVID
You’re being dreary.

BERTIE
Is Kinging laying off eighty staff
at Sandringham and buying yet more
pearls for Wallis while there are
people marching across Europe
singing “The Red Flag”?

DAVID
Stop your worrying. Herr Hitler
will sort that lot out.

BERTIE
Who’ll sort out Herr Hitler?

David hurries down some stairs.
52
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense confrontation at Balmoral, Bertie expresses deep concerns to his brother David about his responsibilities as king amidst the rising political tensions in Europe. Bertie criticizes David's lavish lifestyle and dismissive attitude towards the threat posed by Hitler, while David insists he is focused on his royal duties. The conversation escalates, revealing a stark contrast between Bertie's urgency and David's complacency, ultimately ending with David hurriedly leaving the discussion unresolved.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of conflicting emotions
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters, setting the stage for future developments in the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the complexities of royal responsibilities and personal relationships is well-developed, adding depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as the tension between the brothers escalates, foreshadowing potential conflicts and resolutions in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and royal politics, presenting a nuanced portrayal of the conflicts and dilemmas faced by the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, capturing the essence of the time period and the characters' personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bertie and David are well-defined, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bertie and David undergo subtle changes in their demeanor and perspectives, hinting at potential growth and transformation in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to express his concerns about the political situation and his brother's actions. He is driven by a sense of duty and responsibility towards his country and the people affected by the decisions of the royal family.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to confront his brother about his actions as the king and to challenge his decisions. He wants to hold David accountable for his choices and their consequences.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between Bertie and David is palpable, with opposing views on their roles as royals and the political landscape adding intensity to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie challenging David's decisions and beliefs, creating a sense of conflict and uncertainty. The audience is left wondering how the characters will resolve their differences.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident in the brothers' conflicting views on their royal duties and the looming political unrest, setting the stage for crucial decisions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts and character dynamics that will shape future events and decisions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue and the shifting power dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the responsibilities of power and the moral obligations of leadership. Bertie questions the ethics of his brother's actions and challenges the notion that power can solve all problems.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact is significant, as the strained relationship between the brothers and the weight of their responsibilities evoke empathy and tension.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the underlying tensions and conflicts between the characters, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interplay between the characters, the sharp dialogue exchanges, and the underlying tension and conflict. The audience is drawn into the drama and intrigue of the royal family dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotional intensity. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the overall impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy sequence in a historical drama genre. The use of character names and clear dialogue attribution helps to maintain clarity and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven sequence, with clear character motivations and conflict driving the narrative forward. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Bertie and David effectively establishes the tension between the brothers, highlighting their differing perspectives on duty and responsibility. However, the exchange could benefit from more emotional depth. Bertie's concerns about David's actions are valid, but the scene feels somewhat surface-level. Adding a moment where Bertie expresses personal stakes or fears regarding the political climate could enhance the emotional weight.
  • David's dismissive attitude towards Bertie's concerns comes across as arrogant, which is effective in showcasing his character. However, the line 'Kinging is a precarious business!' feels somewhat forced and could be rephrased to sound more natural. Consider using a more colloquial expression that reflects David's character while still conveying his dismissiveness.
  • The pacing of the scene is brisk, which works well for the urgency of the conversation. However, the abruptness of David hurrying down the stairs at the end can feel jarring. A more gradual exit or a moment of hesitation could add to the tension and allow the audience to feel the weight of the conversation before David leaves.
  • The use of specific references, such as the Tsar of Russia and Cousin Wilhelm, adds historical context, but it may alienate viewers who are not familiar with these figures. Consider providing a brief line or two that contextualizes their significance to the audience, enhancing the stakes of the conversation.
  • The scene's visual setting in the corridor of Balmoral is appropriate, but it could be enhanced with more descriptive elements that reflect the mood. For example, incorporating details about the decor or the atmosphere could help ground the audience in the setting and reflect the tension between the brothers.
Suggestions
  • Deepen Bertie's emotional stakes by incorporating a line that reveals his personal fears about the political situation in Europe, perhaps referencing a specific event or consequence that resonates with him.
  • Rephrase David's line about 'Kinging' to sound more natural and reflective of his character. Consider using a phrase that conveys his arrogance without sounding overly scripted.
  • Allow for a moment of hesitation or reflection before David exits the scene. This could be a brief pause where Bertie's words linger in the air, emphasizing the weight of their conversation.
  • Provide a brief context for the historical figures mentioned, either through Bertie's dialogue or a visual cue, to ensure that all audience members understand the stakes involved.
  • Enhance the visual description of the corridor to reflect the tension of the scene. Consider adding details about the lighting, decor, or sounds that could amplify the emotional atmosphere.



Scene 32 -  Champagne and Conflict
INT. SERVANT’S CORRIDOR/WINE CELLAR - DAY

David is hunting for a bottle of champagne for Wallis in the
wine cellar.

BERTIE
And you’ve put that woman into our
mother’s suite?

DAVID
Mother’s not still in the bed, is
she?

BERTIE
That’s not funny.

David finds the bottle he was looking for.

DAVID
Wally likes the very best.

BERTIE
I don’t care what woman you carry
on with at night, as long as you
show up for duty in the morning!

He exits. Bertie follows.


INT. HALLWAY BALMORAL - DAY

DAVID
This is not just some woman I am
carrying on with. This is the woman
I intend to marry

BERTIE
Excuse me?

DAVID
She’s filing a petition for
divorce.

BERTIE
Good God.


INT. HALLWAY/DRAWING ROOM, BALMORAL - DAY

BERTIE
Can’t you just give her a nice
house and a title?

DAVID
I won’t have her as my mistress.
53


BERTIE
David, the Church does not
recognise divorce and you are the
head of the Church.

DAVID
Haven’t I any rights?

BERTIE
Many privileges...

DAVID
Not the same thing. Your beloved
Common Man may marry for love, why
not me?

BERTIE
If you were the Common Man, on what
basis could you possibly claim to
be King?!

DAVID
Sounds like you’ve studied our
wretched constitution.

BERTIE
Sounds like you haven’t.

DAVID
Is that what this is all about? Is
that why you’ve been taking
elocution lessons?

BERTIE
I’m attempting t-t...

DAVID
That’s the scoop around town.
Yearning for a larger audience are
we, B-b-b-bertie?

BERTIE
D-don’t say such a th-

DAVID
Young brother trying to push older
brother off throne...Positively
medieval.

BERTIE
D-

Bertie is completely locked.

David heads for Wallis, leaving his brother totally
distraught. He pours her a glass of champagne. She shows she
is pleased with him.
54
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the wine cellar of Balmoral, David searches for champagne for Wallis while engaging in a tense conversation with his brother Bertie. Bertie disapproves of David's relationship with Wallis, questioning his decision to place her in their mother's suite and warning him about the implications of marrying a divorced woman. Despite Bertie's concerns about royal duty and the Church's stance on divorce, David insists that Wallis is the woman he intends to marry. The conversation escalates into a clash of privilege and responsibility, culminating in David pouring champagne for Wallis, leaving Bertie feeling distraught and abandoned.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict between characters
  • Emotional depth and complexity
  • Sharp and impactful dialogue
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of external action or visual variety

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written, filled with tension, emotional depth, and significant character development. The conflict between the brothers is compelling and sets the stage for future events.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the personal and political dilemmas within the royal family is engaging and thought-provoking. The scene effectively delves into themes of duty, tradition, and personal desires.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between David and Bertie, adding depth to their characters and setting the stage for future developments within the royal family. The tension and emotional stakes drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on historical events and characters, offering a unique perspective on the royal family dynamics. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of David and Bertie are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting personalities, motivations, and beliefs. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and set the stage for character growth.

Character Changes: 8

Both David and Bertie undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in the scene, challenging their beliefs, priorities, and relationships. The conflict between them sets the stage for character growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

David's internal goal is to assert his independence and desire to marry Wallis, despite the societal and familial expectations placed upon him.

External Goal: 7

David's external goal is to convince his brother Bertie of his intention to marry Wallis and navigate the challenges that come with it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between David and Bertie is intense and multi-layered, involving personal, familial, and political stakes. The clash of ideologies and priorities creates a compelling dynamic that drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie challenging David's decisions and beliefs, creating conflict and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, involving personal relationships, family dynamics, and the future of the monarchy. The decisions made by David and Bertie have far-reaching consequences, adding urgency and tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts, dilemmas, and tensions within the royal family. It sets the stage for future events and character arcs, driving the narrative towards resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions and the revelation of David's intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around duty, tradition, and personal desires. David challenges the traditional views of marriage and monarchy, while Bertie represents the adherence to duty and tradition.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, portraying the turmoil, tension, and heartache experienced by the characters. The conflicting emotions and high stakes add depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, impactful, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters. The arguments, retorts, and revelations drive the conflict forward and add depth to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the conflict between characters, the high stakes involved, and the witty dialogue that keeps the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing key information at the right moments, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear dialogue and character interactions, fitting the genre of historical drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bertie and David, showcasing their contrasting views on duty and personal desires. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while the characters express their opinions directly, adding layers of implication could enhance the emotional stakes.
  • Bertie's frustration is palpable, but the scene could delve deeper into his emotional turmoil regarding David's choices. Exploring Bertie's internal conflict about family loyalty versus moral duty could add depth to his character and make the audience empathize with his plight.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the wine cellar to the hallway. A more gradual build-up of tension could allow the audience to fully absorb the gravity of the conversation. Consider extending the dialogue to allow for more emotional beats.
  • David's character comes off as dismissive, which is effective, but it might be beneficial to show a moment of vulnerability or justification for his actions. This could create a more complex character and allow the audience to understand his motivations better.
  • The use of physical space in the scene is somewhat limited. The setting shifts from the wine cellar to the hallway, but the emotional weight of the conversation could be enhanced by incorporating more visual elements that reflect the characters' states of mind, such as their body language or the environment around them.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Bertie reflects on his own feelings about the monarchy and his brother's choices, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a flashback that highlights their childhood dynamics.
  • Introduce a physical action that symbolizes the tension, such as Bertie gripping a nearby object tightly or David pouring champagne with an exaggerated flourish, to visually represent their emotional states.
  • Expand the dialogue to include more indirect communication, where Bertie and David hint at their deeper fears and insecurities without stating them outright. This could create a richer subtext and engage the audience more deeply.
  • Incorporate a moment of silence or a pause in the conversation to allow the weight of their words to settle, giving the audience a chance to feel the tension before the dialogue continues.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more impactful visual or emotional cue, such as Bertie's reaction to David's decision or a lingering shot of the champagne bottle, to emphasize the gravity of the situation and leave the audience with a strong impression.



Scene 33 -  Finding His Voice
INT. LOGUE’S CONSULTATION ROOM, HARLEY STREET - NEW DAY

Bertie stands shattered, lost in painful memory.

BERTIE
All that work, down the drain. My
own brother... I couldn’t say...I
could say...I couldn’t say a word
in reply!

LIONEL
Why do you stammer more with David
than you do with me?

BERTIE
Because you’re bloody well paid to
listen!

The latter, angry, sentence is flawless.

LIONEL
I’m not a geisha girl.

BERTIE
Stop trying to be so bloody clever!

LIONEL
What is it about David that stops
you speaking?

BERTIE
What the bloody hell is it that
makes you bloody well want to go on
about David?

LIONEL
Vulgar but fluent. You don’t
stammer when you swear.

BERTIE
Bugger off!

LIONEL
Is that the best you can do?

BERTIE
Well bloody bugger to you, you
beastly bastard.

LIONEL
A public school prig can do better
than that.

BERTIE
Shit then. Shit, shit, shit!
55


LIONEL
See how defecation flows trippingly
from the tongue?

BERTIE
Because I’m angry!

LIONEL
Ah. Know the f-word?

BERTIE
Fornication?

LIONEL
Bertie.

Lionel gives him a look.

BERTIE
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

LIONEL
Yes! You see! Not a hesitation!

BERTIE
Bloody, bloody, bloody! Shit, shit,
shit! Bugger, bugger, bugger! Fuck,
fuck, fuck!

A knocking on the wall.

ANTONY (O.S.)
Dad? What’s going on?

LIONEL
(calls)
Sorry. Finish your homework.

Bertie laughs.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
Well that’s a side of you we don’t
get to see that often.

BERTIE
No. No we’re not supposed to
really, not publicly.

LIONEL
Can’t joke, can’t laugh?
(then referring to Antony
on the other side of the
wall)
Let’s get some air.

BERTIE
No Logue, I don’t think that’s a
good idea.
56


Lionel throws him his hat and scarf.

LIONEL
Put on your spy clobber.
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In a tense session at Logue's consultation room, Bertie grapples with painful memories of his brother David, leading to frustration and emotional turmoil. His speech therapist, Lionel, challenges him to confront his stammering by swearing, which unexpectedly allows Bertie to express himself more freely. Their heated exchange reveals Bertie's struggle with his speech, culminating in a cathartic moment of levity. The scene concludes with Lionel suggesting they take a break and get some fresh air, encouraging Bertie to step outside despite his initial reluctance.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Humorous moments
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Focused on internal struggles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with a mix of emotional depth, humor, and character development. The unique approach to addressing Bertie's stammer adds depth to his character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using swearing as a means to address Bertie's stammer is innovative and adds a layer of complexity to his character. It also serves as a unique way to explore his relationship with Lionel.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on Bertie's internal struggles and his dynamic with Lionel. It moves the story forward by delving into Bertie's emotional journey.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh approach to the theme of self-acceptance and personal growth by using humor and wit to explore the protagonist's struggles. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The scene provides insight into Bertie's character, showcasing his vulnerability, frustration, and humor. Lionel's role in helping Bertie navigate his stammer adds depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 7

Bertie undergoes a subtle change in the scene, moving from frustration to a moment of self-realization through the exercise of swearing. It adds depth to his character.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront and overcome his stammering issue, which reflects his deeper need for self-acceptance and confidence. Bertie's fear of inadequacy and inability to communicate effectively are driving his internal goal in this scene.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to improve his speech impediment with the help of the speech therapist, Lionel. This goal reflects the immediate challenge Bertie is facing in his public speaking engagements and his desire to overcome it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bertie's struggle with his stammer and his frustration. The tension between Bertie and Lionel adds depth to the interaction.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie facing internal and external challenges that test his resolve and character. The audience is left wondering how he will overcome his stammering issue and personal insecurities.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional and personal for Bertie, as he grapples with his stammer and communication barriers. The tension adds depth to the interaction.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by delving into Bertie's internal struggles and his relationship with Lionel. It adds depth to the character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' dialogue and actions. The audience is kept on their toes as Bertie and Lionel navigate their complex relationship and personal struggles.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between societal expectations of proper behavior and the protagonist's inner turmoil and frustration. This conflict challenges Bertie's beliefs about his own abilities and the role of class in shaping his identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, especially in Bertie's moments of vulnerability and anger. The humor adds a layer of complexity to the emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, especially with Bertie's unique exercise of swearing. It effectively conveys his emotions and struggles, adding depth to the interaction.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter and emotional depth of the characters' interactions. The tension between Bertie and Lionel keeps the audience invested in their journey towards self-discovery and personal growth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional depth through the characters' interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact on the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear dialogue and scene descriptions that enhance the reader's understanding of the characters' emotions and motivations.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the conflict, and developing the characters' relationships. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the emotional depth of the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bertie's emotional turmoil and frustration regarding his brother David, showcasing the complexity of their relationship. The dialogue is sharp and filled with tension, which helps to convey Bertie's inner conflict and the impact of his stammer on his self-esteem.
  • The use of profanity as a means for Bertie to express himself without stammering is a clever device that highlights the theme of emotional release through anger. It also serves to contrast his vulnerability with his moments of strength, making the character more relatable and human.
  • Lionel's role as a speech therapist is well-defined in this scene, as he pushes Bertie to confront his fears and the root of his stammer. However, the dialogue could benefit from a clearer exploration of Lionel's motivations and his relationship with Bertie, as it sometimes feels like he is merely a foil for Bertie's frustrations rather than an active participant in his healing process.
  • The interruption by Antony adds a layer of realism and humor to the scene, but it could be more impactful if it were tied more closely to the emotional stakes of the conversation. As it stands, it feels somewhat abrupt and could distract from the intensity of Bertie's moment.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but there are moments where the dialogue could be tightened to maintain momentum. Some exchanges feel slightly repetitive, which could dilute the emotional weight of Bertie's outbursts.
Suggestions
  • Consider deepening Lionel's character by providing more insight into his motivations for helping Bertie. This could be achieved through subtle hints in his dialogue or actions that reveal his own struggles or past experiences.
  • Explore the emotional stakes of the interruption by Antony further. Perhaps have Bertie react more strongly to the interruption, showcasing his frustration at being a father while dealing with his own issues, which could add depth to his character.
  • Tighten the dialogue by removing any repetitive phrases or exchanges that do not add to the emotional arc of the scene. Focus on making each line count to enhance the overall impact.
  • Incorporate more physicality into the scene to complement the dialogue. For example, Bertie's body language could reflect his emotional state more vividly, such as clenching his fists or pacing, which would visually convey his turmoil.
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a pause after Bertie's outburst of profanity to allow the weight of his emotions to settle before moving on to the next action. This could enhance the dramatic tension and give the audience a moment to absorb his pain.



Scene 34 -  A Cold Confrontation
EXT. REGENT’S PARK ORNAMENTAL GARDEN - DAY

Bertie and Logue come into view talking. Bertie with his
homburg pulled low, scarf wrapped high. The park is empty and
bleak on this winter’s day. One can feel the cold chill;
puffs of steam punctuating their words like smoke signals.

LIONEL
What’s wrong? What’s got you so
upset?

BERTIE
Logue, you have no idea. My brother
is infatuated with a woman who’s
been married twice - and she’s
American.

LIONEL
Some of them must be loveable.

BERTIE
(shoots him a look)
She’s asking for a divorce and
David is determined to marry her.
Mrs Wallis Simpson of Baltimore.

LIONEL
That’s not right. Queen Wallis of
Baltimore?

BERTIE
Unthinkable.

LIONEL
Can he do that?

BERTIE
Absolutely not. But he’s going to
anyway. All hell’s broken loose.

LIONEL
Can’t they carry on privately?

BERTIE
If only they would.

LIONEL
Where does that leave you?
57


BERTIE
I know my place! I’ll do anything
within my power to keep my brother
on the throne.

LIONEL
Has it come to that? But the way
things are going, your place may be
on the throne.

BERTIE
I am not an alternative to my
brother.

LIONEL
If you had to you could outshine
David...

Lionel reaches out and gives Bertie a pat of comfort on the
shoulder. Bertie pulls back in offended shock.

BERTIE
Don’t take liberties! That’s
bordering on treason.

LIONEL
I’m just saying you could be King.
You could do it!

BERTIE
That is treason!

They face each other, as though in combat.

LIONEL
I’m trying to get you to realise
you need not be governed by fear.

BERTIE
I’ve had enough of this!

LIONEL
What’re you afraid of?

BERTIE
Your poisonous words!

LIONEL
Why’d you show up then? To take
polite elocution lessons so you can
chit-chat at posh tea parties?

BERTIE
Don’t instruct me on my duties! I’m
the brother of a King...the son of
a King...we have a history that
goes back untold centuries. You’re
the disappointing son of a brewer!
(MORE)
58

BERTIE (CONT'D)
A jumped-up jackeroo from the
outback! You’re nobody. These
sessions are over!

Bertie strides off in a fury. Lionel, equally angry, goes in
the other direction. Two men moving apart in the cold
wintery landscape, the ground mist rising.

The Lionel stops. Turns.

POV - Bertie has disappeared from view.

CLOSE ON LIONEL as he realises...he’s no longer therapist to
a man who might have to become King.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the bleak setting of Regent's Park on a cold winter's day, Bertie and Logue engage in a tense discussion about Bertie's brother David's troubling romance with Wallis Simpson. Bertie, distressed and determined to keep his brother on the throne, vehemently rejects Logue's suggestion that he could take David's place. Their conversation escalates into a heated argument, revealing Bertie's fears and frustrations, ultimately leading to Bertie storming off in anger. Logue is left to ponder the weight of their situation, realizing his role has shifted from therapist to a witness of potential historical significance.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Exploration of complex themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is intense and emotionally charged, with strong dialogue and character dynamics. It effectively sets up a pivotal moment in the story and explores complex themes with depth and nuance.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of exploring Bertie's internal struggle with his potential role as king and his conflicting emotions towards duty and family is compelling. The scene effectively delves into complex themes and character motivations.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the story, setting up key conflicts and character arcs. It establishes the internal conflict Bertie faces regarding his future and his relationship with his brother David, adding depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on historical events and royal drama, blending personal relationships with political intrigue. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters of Bertie and Lionel are well-developed and their interactions are layered with emotion and tension. The scene effectively showcases their conflicting personalities and motivations, adding depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, grappling with his fears, responsibilities, and family dynamics. The confrontation with Lionel forces him to confront his inner turmoil and consider his future.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to maintain his loyalty to his brother, the King, while also asserting his own identity and worth. He struggles with the pressure of potentially becoming King himself and the fear of not living up to expectations.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to navigate the political and personal challenges presented by his brother's scandalous relationship and potential abdication of the throne.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with intense emotional stakes and a clash of ideologies between Bertie and Lionel. The confrontation between the characters drives the narrative forward and adds tension to the story.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, emotional outbursts, and shifting power dynamics between the characters. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as Bertie faces the possibility of ascending to the throne and the weight of his family's expectations. The confrontation with Lionel raises the stakes and adds tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up key conflicts, character arcs, and themes. It establishes important plot points and adds depth to the narrative, driving the story towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and emotional outbursts between the characters. The audience is kept on edge as they navigate the complex relationships and conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between duty and personal identity. Bertie grapples with his loyalty to his family and country versus his own desires and fears.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into the characters' internal struggles and conflicting emotions. The intense confrontation and emotional depth of the scene resonate with the viewers.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, intense, and emotionally charged. It effectively conveys the characters' conflicting emotions, motivations, and the central themes of duty and family dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, sharp dialogue, and historical context. The characters' struggles and relationships draw the audience in.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional intensity, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven drama, with a clear conflict, rising tension, and emotional resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bertie and Lionel, showcasing their contrasting perspectives on duty and personal ambition. However, the dialogue can feel a bit on-the-nose at times, particularly when Bertie states, 'I know my place! I'll do anything within my power to keep my brother on the throne.' This could be more subtly conveyed through actions or reactions rather than explicit statements.
  • The use of the cold, bleak setting in Regent's Park is a strong visual choice that mirrors the emotional state of the characters. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere. For example, describing the sound of their footsteps crunching on the frost or the way their breath fogs in the air could deepen the immersion.
  • The dialogue between Bertie and Lionel is engaging, but it occasionally veers into melodrama, especially when Bertie lashes out at Lionel. While this reflects his emotional turmoil, it may come off as overly aggressive without sufficient buildup. A more gradual escalation in their argument could make the confrontation feel more organic.
  • Lionel's character is portrayed as a supportive figure, yet his comments about Bertie potentially being king could be perceived as dismissive of Bertie's feelings. This could be nuanced further by showing Lionel's internal conflict about pushing Bertie while also wanting to encourage him. A moment of hesitation or vulnerability from Lionel could add depth to their dynamic.
  • The ending of the scene, where Bertie storms off and Lionel is left contemplating, is visually striking. However, it might benefit from a more explicit emotional reaction from Lionel, perhaps a moment of self-reflection or doubt about his methods. This could enhance the emotional weight of the scene and provide a clearer transition to the next.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising some of the dialogue to be more subtextual, allowing the characters' emotions and motivations to be inferred rather than stated outright. This can create a more engaging and layered conversation.
  • Add more sensory details to the setting to enhance the atmosphere. Describing the cold, the sounds of the park, or the visual elements of the winter landscape can help immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Gradually build the tension in the argument between Bertie and Lionel. Allow for pauses or moments of reflection that can heighten the emotional stakes before the confrontation escalates.
  • Introduce a moment of vulnerability for Lionel during the argument, showing his internal struggle between being a therapist and a friend. This can create a more complex relationship dynamic and make the confrontation feel more impactful.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of introspection for Lionel after Bertie leaves, which can serve to deepen his character and set the stage for the next scene, highlighting the consequences of their argument.



Scene 35 -  A Royal Dilemma
EXT. BACK GARDEN ENTRANCE, 10 DOWNING STREET/HORSE GUARDS
PARADE - DAY

A car pulls up. A bundled figure hurries out and slips in
thru the garden entrance.


INT. BALDWIN’S STUDY, 10 DOWNING STREET - DAY

Bertie is with Prime Minister STANLEY BALDWIN, a stocky man
with his hair parted straight down the middle. Their
conversation in progress.

BALDWIN
It’s not just because she’s an
American. It’s that she is soon to
be a twice divorced American, and
the King can not marry a divorced
woman. I apologize for the nature
of this, but... according to
Scotland Yard, the King does not
possess exclusive rights to Mrs.
Simpson’s favours and affections,
sharing them with a married used
car salesman, a certain Mr Guy
Trundle. In addition, it is
rumoured that Hitler’s ambassador,
Count von Ribbentrop, sends her 17
carnations every day......

Silence.

BALDWIN (CONT’D)
Should your brother continue to
ignore the advice of His
Government, He must abdicate.
Otherwise His Government has no
choice but to resign.

BERTIE
Prime Minister, you’d leave the
country without a government?
59


BALDWIN
Does the King do what he wants, or
does he do what his people expect
him to do?
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In Baldwin's study at 10 Downing Street, Bertie engages in a tense discussion with Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin about King Edward's controversial relationship with Wallis Simpson. Baldwin reveals the scandalous implications of the King's desire to marry a twice-divorced woman, emphasizing that if the King ignores government advice, he must abdicate. Bertie is left shocked at the potential fallout for the country, as Baldwin underscores the conflict between the King's personal desires and the expectations of the public.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • High stakes
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Heavy exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and tension surrounding King Edward VIII's relationship with Wallis Simpson, setting up a crucial decision point for the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the political and personal implications of King Edward VIII's relationship with Wallis Simpson, highlighting the conflict between duty and personal desires.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Prime Minister Baldwin delivers the ultimatum to Bertie, setting the stage for a major decision that will impact the monarchy.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on historical events, blending personal drama with political intrigue. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Bertie and Prime Minister Baldwin are well-developed in this scene, with their conflicting perspectives and motivations driving the tension and conflict.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie faces a pivotal moment in the scene, where he must confront the reality of his brother's actions and the potential consequences for the monarchy.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to understand the gravity of the situation and the implications of the King's actions on the government and the country. This reflects his deeper need for stability and order in the face of potential chaos.

External Goal: 9

Bertie's external goal is to navigate the political crisis and find a solution that maintains the stability of the government while addressing the King's actions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with Prime Minister Baldwin delivering a significant ultimatum to Bertie, raising the stakes for the royal family.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and high stakes that create uncertainty and tension for the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Prime Minister Baldwin delivers an ultimatum that could have far-reaching consequences for the royal family and the country.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict and decision point for the characters, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral ambiguity that leave the audience uncertain of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between personal desires and public duty. The Prime Minister emphasizes the importance of the King's role as a public figure, while Bertie questions the consequences of abandoning personal choice for public expectation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of concern and resignation, as the characters grapple with the weight of the decisions ahead.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, effectively conveying the stakes and emotions of the characters involved in the ultimatum.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, political intrigue, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with pauses and dramatic revelations that keep the audience engaged and eager to see how the conflict unfolds.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the conventions of the genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a political drama, with clear character motivations and escalating tension leading to a dramatic confrontation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the gravity of the situation surrounding King Edward's relationship with Wallis Simpson, using Baldwin's dialogue to convey the political implications. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional weight. While Baldwin's exposition is informative, it lacks a personal touch that would deepen the audience's connection to Bertie's turmoil. Consider adding more of Bertie's internal conflict or emotional reactions to Baldwin's revelations to enhance the stakes.
  • The use of silence after Baldwin's revelations is a strong choice, creating a moment for the audience to absorb the shocking information. However, the scene could be improved by incorporating Bertie's physical reactions during this silence. Showing his body language—tension in his shoulders, a clenched fist, or a pained expression—would visually communicate his distress and heighten the emotional impact.
  • Baldwin's character comes across as somewhat one-dimensional in this scene. While he serves as a mouthpiece for the political realities, giving him a more nuanced perspective could enrich the dialogue. Perhaps he could express his own frustrations or fears about the monarchy's future, making him more relatable and adding depth to his character.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. A brief moment showing Bertie's state of mind as he enters Baldwin's study could provide a smoother transition and help the audience understand his emotional journey. This could be a visual cue or a brief internal monologue reflecting on his recent confrontation with David.
  • The dialogue, while informative, could be tightened to maintain a brisk pace. Some lines feel overly expository, which can detract from the tension. Streamlining Baldwin's speech to focus on the most critical points would keep the audience engaged and heighten the urgency of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Add physical reactions from Bertie during Baldwin's speech to visually convey his emotional state and enhance audience empathy.
  • Consider giving Baldwin a more complex viewpoint, perhaps expressing his own concerns about the monarchy, to add depth to his character.
  • Incorporate a brief moment of reflection or internal dialogue from Bertie as he enters Baldwin's study to create a smoother transition and establish his emotional state.
  • Streamline the dialogue to focus on the most critical points, reducing exposition and maintaining a brisk pace to keep the audience engaged.
  • Explore the use of subtext in the dialogue, allowing characters to imply more than they say directly, which can create tension and intrigue.



Scene 36 -  Reflections on Greatness
INT. LIVING ROOM, LOGUE APARTMENT - NIGHT

The family is listening to a favorite radio show.

MYRTLE
What’s the matter, love?

LIONEL
Nothing.

Lionel shrugs helplessly, glances at the boys.

MYRTLE
You look a bit blue.

LIONEL
Just trouble with a client.

MYRTLE
Oh yes.

LIONEL
Frightened of his own shadow.

MYRTLE
Isn’t that why they come to you?

LIONEL
But this chap...

MYRTLE
Yes?

LIONEL
This chap truly could be somebody
great, and he’s fighting me.

MYRTLE
Perhaps he doesn’t want to be
great.

Lionel is silent.

MYRTLE (CONT’D)
Perhaps that’s what you want.

LIONEL
I might have overstepped the mark.
60


MYRTLE
Apologize, Lionel. Do you both
good. Sometimes you do push a bit
hard.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the Logue family's living room, Myrtle notices Lionel's troubled demeanor while they listen to a radio show. Lionel confides in her about a client who fears his own potential, prompting Myrtle to suggest that the client may not want to be great. This leads Lionel to reflect on his own ambitions and the possibility that he may have been too forceful in his approach. Myrtle encourages him to apologize, highlighting the importance of a gentler method in helping others.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Realistic portrayal of personal struggles
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Relatively low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil of the therapist while providing insight into his character and the dynamics of his family. The dialogue is engaging and reveals layers of complexity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the therapist's personal challenges while balancing his professional responsibilities is compelling. It adds depth to the character and provides a unique perspective on therapy.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Lionel's internal struggle and his interactions with his family, offering insight into his character development. It contributes to the overall narrative by showcasing the complexities of his life.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of personal ambition and self-doubt, exploring the internal struggles of the protagonist in a nuanced and authentic way.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, especially Lionel, whose internal conflict is central to the scene. The interactions between Lionel and his family members add depth to their relationships and personalities.

Character Changes: 7

Lionel undergoes a subtle emotional shift as he grapples with his client's challenges and seeks comfort from his family. His vulnerability and resilience are highlighted, contributing to his character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist, Lionel, is struggling with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt in his professional life. His internal goal is to come to terms with his own insecurities and find the confidence to confront his client.

External Goal: 7.5

Lionel's external goal is to resolve the conflict with his client and maintain his professional reputation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Lionel's struggle with a challenging client and his own doubts. The tension is subtle but adds depth to the character dynamics.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is subtle but effective, adding a layer of complexity to the protagonist's internal conflict.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional and personal, focusing on Lionel's internal conflict and the impact on his family relationships. While not high in terms of external consequences, the emotional stakes are significant.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into Lionel's personal struggles and relationships, deepening the audience's understanding of his character. While it doesn't significantly advance the main plot, it adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of its emotional beats and character dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of greatness and personal ambition. Myrtle challenges Lionel's beliefs about what it means to be great and questions his motivations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, particularly in portraying Lionel's internal turmoil and the supportive dynamic within his family. It evokes empathy and understanding for the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and reveals the emotional nuances of the characters. It effectively conveys the tension and support present in the scene, enhancing the overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters and the subtle tension between them.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of introspection and emotional tension to unfold naturally.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with a good balance of dialogue and action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear focus on internal conflict and emotional development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of vulnerability for Lionel, showcasing his internal struggle as a therapist. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, instead of simply stating that Lionel's client is 'frightened of his own shadow,' it would be more impactful to provide a brief example of the client's fears or behaviors that illustrate this point.
  • Myrtle's role as a supportive partner is clear, but her dialogue feels somewhat generic. Adding more personal touches or anecdotes could enhance her character and make her advice feel more grounded in their relationship. For example, she could reference a time when Lionel pushed too hard with a previous client, making her advice more relatable and specific.
  • The scene's pacing is relatively slow, which can work for building tension, but it risks losing the audience's engagement. Introducing a more dynamic element, such as a visual cue or a change in the radio show that reflects Lionel's emotional state, could help maintain interest.
  • The transition from the previous scene, which deals with high-stakes political tension, to this more intimate family moment feels abrupt. A brief line or two that connects the two scenes thematically—perhaps reflecting on the pressures of leadership and how they affect personal relationships—could create a smoother narrative flow.
  • Lionel's admission that he might have 'overstepped the mark' is a strong moment, but it could be expanded upon. Exploring what specifically he feels he has done wrong could add depth to his character and provide insight into his professional ethics and personal insecurities.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a specific example of the client's fears to illustrate Lionel's struggle more vividly.
  • Enhance Myrtle's dialogue with personal anecdotes or references to their past to make her advice feel more meaningful.
  • Introduce a dynamic element in the scene, such as a change in the radio show that reflects Lionel's emotional turmoil, to maintain audience engagement.
  • Create a thematic connection between the previous scene and this one to smooth the transition and enhance narrative cohesion.
  • Expand on Lionel's feelings of having overstepped by detailing what actions or words he regrets, providing more insight into his character.



Scene 37 -  A Name for the Future
INT. HALLWAY, 145 PICCADILLY - CONTINUOUS

Lionel is shown to a chair in the hall to wait. Footsteps
echo.

Bertie’s Equerry, dressed in military uniform, comes in. He
is scrupulously polite.

EQUERRY
I’m very sorry, Mr Logue, the Duke
is terrible busy.

LIONEL
I’m happy to wait. Or I could come
back later.

EQUERRY
As I said, the Duke is busy.

The steward opens the door. Both wait.

Lionel reluctantly withdraws.


INT. BERTIE’S STUDY, 145 PICCADILLY - NIGHT

Bertie and Chuchill sit on either side of Bertie’s desk.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
But there were other reasons for
concern, Sir. He was careless with
state papers. He lacked commitment
and resolve. There were those that
worried where he would stand when
war with Germany comes.

BERTIE
We’re not coming to that?

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Indeed we are, Sir. Prime Minister
Baldwin may deny this, but Hitler’s
intent is crystal clear. War with
Germany will come, and we will need
a King behind whom we can all stand
united.

Silence.

WINSTON CHURCHILL (CONT’D)
Have you thought what you will call
yourself?
61


Bertie struggles to speak with the shock of the question.

WINSTON CHURCHILL (CONT’D)
Certainly not Albert, Sir. Too
Germanic.

Pause.

WINSTON CHURCHILL (CONT’D)
What about George? After your
father? George the sixth. It has
rather a nice continuity to it,
don’t you think.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary Lionel waits in a hallway to meet the Duke but is informed by the Equerry that the Duke is busy. Meanwhile, in Bertie's study, he and Winston Churchill discuss the political climate and the Duke's leadership, with Churchill suggesting that Bertie consider adopting the name 'George' as he prepares for potential leadership amidst the threat of war. The scene captures the tension between Lionel's desire to meet the Duke and the serious implications of Bertie's identity and future role.
Strengths
  • Tense dialogue
  • Political intrigue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Reliance on exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the weight of the situation through tense dialogue and reflective moments, setting up a crucial decision point for the characters. The political stakes and personal conflicts are well-established, creating a sense of urgency and uncertainty.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the political ramifications of King Edward's relationship and the potential consequences for the monarchy is engaging and thought-provoking. The scene effectively sets up a central conflict that will drive the narrative forward.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overarching narrative, introducing a key decision point that will have far-reaching consequences for the characters and the monarchy. The tension and conflict are well-developed, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to historical drama by focusing on the personal struggles and decisions of a royal figure facing impending war. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Bertie and Churchill are well-defined in the scene, with their contrasting perspectives and motivations driving the conflict. Their interactions reveal insights into their personalities and the challenges they face.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a subtle but important shift in the scene, as he grapples with the implications of his brother's actions and the potential consequences for the royal family. His internal conflict and growing resolve set the stage for his character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the political and personal challenges he faces as a royal figure. Bertie is grappling with his own identity and the expectations placed upon him, as well as the looming threat of war with Germany.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make a decision about his regnal name in preparation for his role as King. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as he anticipates war with Germany and the need for a united front.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with opposing viewpoints and personal stakes driving the tension between Bertie and Churchill. The political and emotional conflicts add layers of complexity to the narrative, heightening the drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and decisions. The audience is left uncertain of the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Bertie faces the prospect of assuming the throne and navigating the political turmoil surrounding his brother's relationship. The future of the monarchy hangs in the balance, adding urgency and tension to the decision at hand.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a critical decision point for Bertie and setting up the central conflict that will drive the narrative. The revelation of the King's potential abdication adds momentum and suspense to the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected questions and decisions made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around identity, duty, and legacy. Bertie must reconcile his personal desires with the expectations of his role as King, as well as the political implications of his decisions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a significant emotional impact, as Bertie faces a momentous decision that will shape his future and the fate of the monarchy. The characters' struggles and uncertainties resonate with the audience, creating a sense of empathy and anticipation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful, conveying the political stakes and personal emotions effectively. The exchanges between Bertie and Churchill are tense and revealing, adding depth to their characters and the narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, political intrigue, and personal dilemmas faced by the characters. The dialogue and pacing maintain the audience's interest and build suspense.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue and action that maintains tension and builds suspense. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in conveying the characters' internal struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for a screenplay, enhancing the readability and flow of the dialogue and action descriptions.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and highlights the internal and external conflicts faced by the characters. It follows the expected format for a historical drama genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of urgency and tension through the dialogue between Churchill and Bertie, reflecting the gravity of the political situation. However, the transition from Lionel's previous scene to this one feels abrupt. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge the emotional weight from Lionel's conversation with Myrtle to the political discussion with Churchill.
  • The dialogue is strong, particularly Churchill's lines, which convey both the seriousness of the impending war and the need for a strong leader. However, Bertie's responses could be more emotionally charged to reflect his internal struggle with the weight of the monarchy and the implications of his potential ascension. This would enhance the dramatic stakes of the scene.
  • The Equerry's role is somewhat underdeveloped. While he serves to convey Bertie's busyness, adding a line or two that hints at his own feelings about the situation could provide additional depth and context. This would also help to create a more dynamic atmosphere in the hallway.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved. The pauses in dialogue are effective, but they could be utilized more strategically to build tension. For instance, after Churchill mentions the need for a united King, a longer pause could emphasize the weight of that statement on Bertie, allowing the audience to feel his internal conflict more acutely.
  • The visual elements in the scene are minimal. Describing the setting in more detail, such as the decor of Bertie's study or the expressions on the characters' faces, could enhance the atmosphere and provide a richer context for the dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Bertie after Lionel's scene, perhaps showing him grappling with the implications of his brother's actions before transitioning to the conversation with Churchill.
  • Enhance Bertie's emotional responses to Churchill's statements. This could involve him expressing doubt or fear about his potential role as King, making his struggle more palpable.
  • Develop the Equerry's character slightly by giving him a line that reflects his own concerns about the situation, which could add another layer to the scene.
  • Experiment with the pacing by extending pauses after key lines, particularly when Churchill discusses the need for a united King, to allow the weight of the moment to resonate with both Bertie and the audience.
  • Incorporate more visual details to enrich the setting, such as the lighting in the study or the physical demeanor of the characters, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 38 -  The Weight of Duty
INT. DAVID’S DRAWING ROOM, THE FORT - DAY

Bertie waits nervously for David.

David enters, looking sunken.

BERTIE
David! Thank God. You look
exhausted! How are you bearing up?

DAVID
Bertie. I have to go. The
decision’s been made.

BERTIE
I cannot accept that. You are in no
condition to make that decision.

DAVID
I’m afraid there’s no other way. I
must marry her. My mind’s made up.
I’m... sorry.

BERTIE
That’s a terrible thing to hear.
David, nobody wants that. I least
of all.


INT. - DRAWING ROOM, THE FORT - DAY

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER)
At long last I am able to say a few
words of my own. I have never
wanted to withhold anything, but
until now, it has not been
constitutionally possible for me to
speak. A few hours ago I discharged
my last duty as King and Emperor.
(MORE)
62

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER) (CONT'D)
Now that I have been succeeded by
my brother, the Duke of York my
first words must be to declare my
allegiance to him. This I do with
all my heart.

Bertie, Henry and George are there to witness David signing
the abdication document.

Silence. The scratching of a fountain pen.

He finally signs his name. The others sign.

Bertie signs.

HOLD ON Bertie’s face.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense drawing room, Bertie anxiously confronts David about his decision to marry and abdicate the throne. Despite Bertie's concerns for his well-being, David remains resolute, announcing his abdication as King and expressing loyalty to his brother, the Duke of York. The scene culminates in the solemn signing of the abdication document, witnessed by Bertie, Henry, and George, highlighting the emotional gravity of the moment.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited action
  • Reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the plot. It effectively conveys the gravity of King Edward's decision to abdicate and sets the stage for Bertie's ascension to the throne.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of King Edward's abdication and the subsequent implications for the royal family is compelling and well-executed. It delves into themes of duty, sacrifice, and familial relationships.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial to the overall narrative, marking a significant turning point in the story. It sets the stage for Bertie's journey towards becoming King George VI.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of duty vs personal happiness, with a historical and royal backdrop that adds authenticity to the characters' actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly King Edward and Bertie, are well-developed and their conflicting emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The scene highlights the complex dynamics between the brothers.

Character Changes: 9

Both King Edward and Bertie undergo significant emotional changes in the scene. King Edward's decision to abdicate marks a profound shift in his life, while Bertie is forced to confront his new role as King George VI.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his decision to abdicate the throne and marry someone he may not love. This reflects his deeper need for duty and responsibility, as well as his fear of disappointing others and facing the consequences of his actions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to officially sign the abdication document and declare his allegiance to his brother, the new King. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his abdication and the challenges he faces in relinquishing his power and position.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between King Edward's desire to marry Wallis Simpson and the duty to the crown creates a compelling internal and external conflict. The tension between the brothers adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external conflicts that challenge his beliefs and values, creating uncertainty and tension for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as King Edward's abdication has far-reaching consequences for the monarchy and the country. The decision will impact the lives of the characters involved and the future of the nation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting the stage for Bertie's reign as King George VI. It introduces new challenges and conflicts that will shape the future of the royal family.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected decision made by the protagonist to abdicate the throne and marry for political reasons, challenging the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between duty and personal happiness. David must choose between fulfilling his duty as King and marrying for political reasons, or following his heart and pursuing his own happiness. This challenges his beliefs about sacrifice and responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, regret, and determination. The audience is deeply invested in the characters' struggles and the weight of their decisions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and impactful, conveying the characters' inner turmoil and the weight of the decision at hand. It effectively reveals the emotional stakes of the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the emotional stakes and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, as well as the historical and royal setting that adds intrigue and tension.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, contributing to its effectiveness in conveying the characters' internal struggles and moral dilemmas.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a screenplay in its genre.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, following the expected format for a dramatic and historical genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and emotional weight of the moment, particularly through Bertie's concern for David's well-being and the gravity of the decision at hand. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional stakes. For instance, instead of stating 'I cannot accept that,' Bertie could express his feelings in a way that reveals his deeper fears about the monarchy and his brother's choices.
  • The transition from the personal confrontation between Bertie and David to the radio broadcast is somewhat abrupt. While it serves to heighten the stakes, it could be smoother. Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of David's decision before the voiceover begins.
  • The use of the radio filter for David's voice is a strong choice, as it creates a sense of distance and formality. However, it might be more impactful if the audience could see Bertie's reaction to David's words in real-time, rather than just hearing them. This could enhance the emotional resonance of the scene, allowing viewers to witness Bertie's internal struggle as he processes his brother's abdication.
  • The scene lacks a clear visual motif or symbol that could reinforce the themes of duty and sacrifice. For example, incorporating a visual element, such as a family portrait or a royal insignia, could serve as a poignant reminder of the weight of the crown and the familial bonds being tested.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Allowing for more pauses or moments of silence could heighten the tension and give the audience time to absorb the emotional impact of the conversation.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Bertie's dialogue to include more emotional depth and subtext, perhaps by expressing his fears about the monarchy and the implications of David's decision without directly stating them.
  • Add a brief moment of silence or a visual cue before transitioning to the radio broadcast to emphasize the weight of David's decision and create a smoother transition.
  • Incorporate Bertie's reactions to David's voiceover in real-time, allowing the audience to see his emotional turmoil as he processes his brother's abdication.
  • Introduce a visual motif or symbol that reinforces the themes of duty and sacrifice, such as a family portrait or royal insignia, to add depth to the scene.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue exchanges by incorporating more pauses or moments of silence, allowing the audience to fully absorb the emotional weight of the conversation.



Scene 39 -  A Heartfelt Abdication
INT. STUDY, WINDSOR CASTLE - NIGHT

David sits at his desk on which sits a BBC microphone. As
always he speaks with beautiful fluency.

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER)
You all know the reasons which have
impelled me to renounce the throne.
But you must believe me when I tell
you I have found it impossible to
carry the heavy burden of
responsibility and to discharge my
duties as King as I would wish to
do without the help and support of
the woman I love...


INT. DRAWING ROOM, YORK HOUSE - NIGHT

ANOTHER WIRELESS being listened to by Elizabeth and Bertie.

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER)
..This decision has been made less
difficult to me by the sure
knowledge that my brother, with his
long training in the public affairs
of this country...

Bertie battles his emotions. Elizabeth takes Bertie’s hand
supportively.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a poignant scene, David announces his decision to renounce the throne due to the weight of responsibility and his love for a woman, which he feels he cannot uphold without her support. As he speaks through a BBC microphone, Elizabeth and Bertie listen in the drawing room of York House. Bertie struggles with his emotions, while Elizabeth offers him comfort by holding his hand. The scene captures the emotional turmoil of David's abdication and the supportive bond between Elizabeth and Bertie.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Historical significance
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual action
  • Reliance on radio broadcast for key moment

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the plot, effectively conveying the gravity of the situation and the characters' reactions.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of capturing the abdication through a radio broadcast is innovative and impactful, providing a unique perspective on the historical event.

Plot: 9.2

The plot is advanced significantly through the abdication announcement, setting the stage for Bertie's ascension to the throne and the ensuing challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and royal relationships, presenting a nuanced portrayal of duty and personal choice. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and emotionally resonant.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' emotions and conflicts are effectively portrayed, particularly Bertie and Elizabeth's reactions to the abdication, adding depth and complexity to their arcs.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes a significant emotional transformation as he grapples with the reality of his brother's abdication, setting the stage for his own journey towards kingship.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his love for the woman he cares about and to explain his reasons for renouncing the throne. This reflects his deeper need for love and connection, as well as his fear of not being able to fulfill his duties without the support of his loved one.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to announce his decision to renounce the throne and to explain the circumstances surrounding it. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in terms of his royal responsibilities and personal relationships.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between duty and personal desires is palpable, particularly in Bertie's internal struggle and the tension between the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist faces internal and external conflicts that challenge his beliefs, values, and decisions, creating uncertainty and emotional complexity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the future of the monarchy hangs in the balance, with Bertie facing the daunting prospect of assuming the throne in the wake of his brother's abdication.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major turning point in the narrative, reshaping the dynamics of the royal family and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the emotional turmoil and conflicting desires of the characters, as well as the uncertain outcome of the protagonist's decision to renounce the throne.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between duty and personal happiness. The protagonist must choose between fulfilling his responsibilities as a king and following his heart's desire, which challenges his beliefs about duty and love.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking sadness, shock, and empathy for the characters' predicaments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, especially through the radio broadcast, conveying the weight of the moment and the characters' internal struggles.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, intimate character dynamics, and thematic complexity. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and choices, creating a sense of empathy and investment.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, allowing for moments of reflection and character development while maintaining a sense of momentum and urgency.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive elements that enhance the visual and emotional impact.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional stakes through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of David's abdication through the use of voiceover, allowing the audience to hear his fluent speech juxtaposed with Bertie's struggle with his emotions. This contrast highlights the gravity of the moment and the personal stakes involved.
  • The transition between David's speech and Bertie's reaction is well-executed, creating a poignant moment that emphasizes the familial bond and the burden of responsibility that Bertie is about to inherit. However, the scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The dialogue in David's voiceover is strong, conveying his internal conflict and love for Wallis Simpson. However, it could be more impactful if it included a brief acknowledgment of the consequences of his decision, which would deepen the audience's understanding of the stakes involved.
  • Bertie's emotional battle is effectively portrayed through his physicality and Elizabeth's supportive gesture. However, the scene could explore Bertie's internal thoughts more explicitly, perhaps through a brief flashback or a visual representation of his fears about taking on the throne, which would add depth to his character.
  • The setting of Windsor Castle is appropriate for David's abdication speech, but the scene could benefit from more atmospheric details to enhance the mood. For example, incorporating sounds from the castle or the tension in the air could heighten the emotional stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a visual cue after David's voiceover to allow the weight of his words to resonate with the audience before cutting to Bertie's reaction.
  • Incorporate a visual flashback or a brief internal monologue from Bertie that reflects his fears and doubts about becoming king, which would provide more context for his emotional struggle.
  • Enhance the atmosphere of the scene by including ambient sounds or visual elements that reflect the tension of the moment, such as the ticking of a clock or the distant sounds of the castle, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Explore the dynamic between Bertie and Elizabeth further by including a line of dialogue or a shared glance that conveys their mutual understanding of the situation, reinforcing their emotional connection.
  • Consider revising David's voiceover to include a line that acknowledges the impact of his decision on the monarchy and his brother, which would add depth to his character and the overall stakes of the scene.



Scene 40 -  The Weight of the Crown
INT. HALLWAY. 145 PICCADILLY - NEW DAY

Bertie is in full regalia of an Admiral of the Fleet’s
uniform.

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER)
...and with his fine qualities...
63


EXT. 145 PICCADILLY - CONTINUOUS

DAVID (V.O. RADIO FILTER)
...will be able to take my place
forthwith without interruption or
injury to the life and progress of
the empire.

Grimly, Bertie gets in to a waiting Rolls. Framed in the car
window he looks terrified as the car edges from the curb.

On the pavement, kept back by police, a crowd of onlookers.
On the edge of the group...Lionel.

Bertie peers out of the window of the Rolls. Their eyes meet.
Bertie looks away. The Rolls drives on.


INT. ANTECHAMBER, ST JAMES PALACE - THAT DAY

Bertie waits nervously.

At a signal from his attendants he enters the Accession
Council Chamber


INT. ACCESSION COUNCIL CHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

The Council is made up of Privy Councillors, members of the
House of Lords, the Lord Mayor of the City of London, the
Aldermen of the City of London and the High Commissioners of
some Commonwealth countries.

Standing before them, Bertie is handed his Accession speech.

All of Bertie’s old symptoms reappear: the tightening of the
neck muscles, the protruding Adam’s apple, the jaw locking.

BERTIE
I meet you today in circumstances
which are -

Bertie has come to a complete muscle-locked halt. He bows his
head in humility. And shame.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary Bertie, dressed in an Admiral of the Fleet's uniform, prepares to leave for an important event, visibly terrified, especially upon locking eyes with Lionel in the crowd. At St. James Palace, he waits nervously before entering the Accession Council Chamber, surrounded by dignitaries. As he begins his Accession speech, Bertie struggles with his speech impediment, succumbing to anxiety and bowing his head in humility and shame, unable to continue.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, filled with tension, fear, and shame, as Bertie struggles with his new role as King amidst his brother's abdication.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the transition of power between brothers and the weight of royal responsibilities, is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks a significant turning point in the story, setting the stage for Bertie's ascension to the throne.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unique setting, historical context, and focus on the protagonist's personal struggles. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie, are well-developed and their emotions are palpable, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes a significant change as he prepares to take on the role of King, facing his fears and insecurities.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his speech impediment and deliver his Accession speech with confidence. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, validation, and the desire to prove himself capable of fulfilling his royal duties.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to successfully navigate the formalities of the Accession Council and deliver his speech without any major mishaps. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in assuming the throne and gaining the respect of his advisors and subjects.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between duty and personal desires is evident, especially in Bertie's internal struggle.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Bertie faces internal and external challenges that threaten his ability to deliver his speech and assume the throne. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Bertie must step up to the role of King in a time of political turmoil and uncertainty.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting up Bertie's ascension to the throne and the challenges he will face.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of Bertie's speech and his ability to overcome his speech impediment are uncertain. The tension and conflict keep the audience guessing about the protagonist's fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between Bertie's personal struggles with his speech impediment and the expectations placed on him as a royal figure. This challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and the role he is expected to play in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking fear, shame, and humility in the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful and conveys the characters' emotions and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it builds tension and suspense through the protagonist's internal struggles and the high-stakes situation he finds himself in. The interactions between characters and the formal setting add depth to the narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, allowing the audience to feel the pressure and stakes of the situation. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a historical drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and emotional weight of Bertie's situation as he prepares to assume the throne. The use of David's voiceover adds a layer of poignancy, contrasting Bertie's internal struggle with the external expectations placed upon him. However, the scene could benefit from more visual and auditory elements to enhance the atmosphere. For instance, incorporating the sounds of the crowd outside or the muffled murmurs of the council could heighten the sense of pressure Bertie feels.
  • Bertie's physical symptoms of anxiety are well depicted, but the scene could delve deeper into his internal thoughts. A brief internal monologue or flashback could provide insight into his fears and insecurities, making his struggle more relatable to the audience. This would also help to build empathy for his character as he faces a monumental moment in his life.
  • The transition from the car to the Accession Council Chamber is somewhat abrupt. A moment of reflection or hesitation as Bertie approaches the chamber could enhance the emotional impact. This could be achieved through a close-up shot of Bertie's face, capturing his fear and determination before he enters the chamber.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well for the tension, but adding a few lines of internal dialogue or a brief exchange with an attendant could provide context and deepen the emotional stakes. This would also help to break the silence and create a more dynamic scene.
  • The ending, where Bertie bows his head in humility and shame, is powerful but could be strengthened by showing the reactions of the council members. Their expressions could reflect the gravity of the moment, further emphasizing Bertie's struggle and the weight of his new responsibilities.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate ambient sounds from the crowd and the council chamber to create a more immersive atmosphere, enhancing the tension of the scene.
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue or flashback to provide insight into Bertie's fears and insecurities, making his struggle more relatable.
  • Include a moment of hesitation or reflection as Bertie approaches the Accession Council Chamber, possibly through a close-up shot to capture his emotional state.
  • Add a few lines of internal dialogue or a brief exchange with an attendant to provide context and deepen the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Show the reactions of the council members as Bertie struggles, which would further emphasize the weight of the moment and his internal conflict.



Scene 41 -  A Royal Transition
INT. HALLWAY, YORK HOUSE - THAT DAY

Elizabeth is with her daughters, preparing for the move to
Buckingham Palace. The girls are tidying away their toy
horses.

LILLIBET
Mama, will we have space for our
horses in our new home?
64


ELIZABETH
Of course we will, darling, we’ll
have a palace of rooms.

Bertie appears, still in full regalia, straight from the
Accession Council. He tries to put on a brave front, but it
doesn’t quite work. He desperately needs the comfort of his
family.

He holds his arm out, expecting his daughters to run to him
for a hug and kiss, his solace after the ordeal.

LILLIBET
(to her sister, on seeing
her father)
Curtsey.

MARGARET
Your Majesty.

They remain where they are and curtsy formally. Bertie is
devastated.

ELIZABETH
How was it?

Bertie shakes his head imperceptibly.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a poignant scene at York House, Elizabeth prepares her daughters, Lilibet and Margaret, for their move to Buckingham Palace. Lilibet's innocent question about their toy horses contrasts with the formal curtseys the girls give their father, Bertie, who seeks comfort after a distressing day at the Accession Council. Elizabeth's attempts to reassure both her daughters and Bertie highlight the emotional distance created by royal duties, leaving Bertie feeling isolated and burdened as he bows his head in humility.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Authentic interactions
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight and disappointment experienced by Bertie, setting a somber tone for the upcoming changes in his life.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying Bertie's emotional turmoil and need for comfort is effectively realized, setting the stage for his character development.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on Bertie's emotional state and his family dynamics, laying the groundwork for future events.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on royal life, focusing on the personal struggles and emotional dynamics of the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds depth to the familiar setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie, Elizabeth, and their daughters, are well-developed and their interactions feel authentic and poignant.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, moving from a state of distress to seeking comfort from his family.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find comfort and solace in his family after a difficult ordeal. This reflects Bertie's deeper need for emotional support and connection with his loved ones.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the transition to Buckingham Palace smoothly and reassure his daughters. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the move and the challenges of maintaining composure in front of his family.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Bertie's struggle rather than external clashes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong in terms of emotional barriers and unspoken conflicts, adding complexity to the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 6

While the emotional stakes are high for Bertie, the broader political stakes are not as prominent in this particular scene.

Story Forward: 7

The scene sets the stage for future developments in Bertie's character arc and the royal family dynamics.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the characters' emotional responses and the subtle shifts in power dynamics within the family.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the formalities and expectations of royalty and the genuine emotional needs of the characters. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about duty and family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness and empathy for Bertie's situation.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional tension and dynamics between the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the emotional tension and vulnerability of the characters, as well as the subtle conflicts and dynamics at play.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing the audience to connect with the characters' struggles and vulnerabilities.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to industry standards for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a drama genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional aftermath of Bertie's Accession Council experience, showcasing his vulnerability and the contrast between his expectations of familial affection and the formal response he receives from his daughters. This juxtaposition heightens the emotional impact, illustrating the weight of his new role as king.
  • However, the dialogue could be enhanced to deepen the emotional resonance. While the curtsey and formal address from the daughters serve to emphasize the shift in their relationship, adding a line or two that reflects Bertie's internal struggle or disappointment could provide more depth to his character's emotional state.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the imagery of Bertie in full regalia, which symbolizes his new responsibilities. Yet, the scene could benefit from more descriptive action to convey Bertie's physical demeanor—perhaps showing him fidgeting with his uniform or taking a deep breath before entering the hallway, which would further illustrate his anxiety and need for comfort.
  • Elizabeth's role as a supportive figure is clear, but her dialogue could be more probing. Instead of simply asking how it was, she might express concern or empathy, which would create a more intimate moment between them and allow Bertie to articulate his feelings more openly.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Bertie's imperceptible shake of the head. While this is a powerful visual cue, it might leave the audience wanting more closure. Consider extending the moment to allow for a brief exchange or a lingering look between Bertie and Elizabeth, reinforcing their bond and the challenges they face together.
Suggestions
  • Add a line or two of internal dialogue or reflection from Bertie to convey his emotional turmoil more explicitly, enhancing the audience's connection to his character.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or gestures from Bertie to visually represent his anxiety and need for comfort, such as fidgeting with his uniform or taking a deep breath before entering the scene.
  • Revise Elizabeth's dialogue to express more empathy or concern, allowing for a deeper emotional exchange between her and Bertie.
  • Consider extending the ending moment to include a brief exchange or a shared look between Bertie and Elizabeth, reinforcing their connection and the challenges they face as a family.
  • Explore the daughters' reactions further; perhaps they could show a moment of confusion or concern before reverting to formality, which would highlight the impact of their father's new role on their relationship.



Scene 42 -  A Moment of Vulnerability
INT. BERTIE’S STUDY, YORK HOUSE - NIGHT

Bertie valiantly tries to make sense of his new dispatch box
filled with state papers, seated at his desk. It is late at
night.

Elizabeth enters, in night clothes.

BERTIE
I’m trying to familiarise myself
with what a state paper looks like.

He picks up a series of papers.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
A despatch from Mr Baldwin which I
don’t understand a word of. David’s
finances. The Christmas broadcast -
I think that might be a mistake.

ELIZABETH
Don’t do it then.

BERTIE
Plans for the Coronation - I think
that’s an even bigger mistake. I’m
not a King. I’m a naval officer.
Its the only thing I know about.
65


And Bertie breaks down; fierce, wracking sobs.

Elizabeth speaks softly, with growing strength, having
already accepted and adapted to the situation.

ELIZABETH
Dear, dear man... I refused your
first two marriage proposals, not
because I didn’t love you, but
because I couldn’t bear the royal
cage. Could bear the idea of a life
of tours and public duties, a life
that no longer was really to be my
own. Then I thought...he stammers
so beautifully...they’ll leave us
alone.

She takes his anguished face in her hands tenderly.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
But if I must be Queen, I intend be
a very good Queen. Queen to a very
great King indeed.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Bertie's study at York House, he grapples with the overwhelming responsibilities of kingship, breaking down in tears over state papers. Elizabeth enters, offering comfort and sharing her own fears about royal life. She reassures Bertie of her commitment to support him as a great King, reinforcing their emotional bond in a tender moment.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Authentic dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Relatively static setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, with a strong focus on character development and the internal struggles of Bertie. The dialogue is poignant and the interaction between Bertie and Elizabeth is heartfelt, adding depth to their relationship.


Story Content

Concept: 9.1

The concept of Bertie struggling with his new role as King and finding solace in Elizabeth's support is compelling and adds depth to the character dynamics. The scene effectively explores themes of duty, love, and acceptance.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene focuses on Bertie's emotional journey and his acceptance of his new responsibilities as King. It moves the story forward by highlighting the internal conflicts faced by the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of duty and personal sacrifice in the context of royalty. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters of Bertie and Elizabeth are well-developed and their interactions feel authentic and emotionally resonant. Bertie's vulnerability and Elizabeth's strength shine through in this scene.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, transitioning from fear and uncertainty to acceptance and determination. Elizabeth also shows her unwavering support, highlighting her strength and love for Bertie.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his new role as King and accept the responsibilities that come with it. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and understanding of his own identity.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges of becoming King and fulfill his duties to the best of his ability. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his ascension to the throne and the challenges he faces in adapting to his new role.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Bertie grapples with his new role as King and the weight of responsibility. The emotional conflict drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Bertie grapples with the conflicting emotions of duty and personal desire, while Elizabeth confronts her own fears and insecurities about becoming Queen.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Bertie as he grapples with his new role as King and the weight of responsibility that comes with it. The scene sets the stage for the challenges he will face in the future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Bertie's internal struggles and his evolving relationship with Elizabeth. It sets the stage for Bertie's journey as King and the challenges he will face.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the emotional outburst from Bertie and the unexpected revelation from Elizabeth about her feelings towards becoming Queen.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between personal desires and duty. Bertie struggles with the idea of being King and the loss of personal freedom, while Elizabeth accepts her role as Queen and embraces the duty that comes with it.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.8

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, acceptance, and love. Bertie's breakdown and Elizabeth's support resonate deeply with the audience.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is poignant and effectively conveys the emotions of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the relationship between Bertie and Elizabeth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the tension between personal desires and duty, and the intimate moments shared between Bertie and Elizabeth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of emotional intensity and reflection, enhancing the character development and thematic exploration.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that advances the character arcs.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Bertie's emotional turmoil as he grapples with the overwhelming responsibilities of kingship. The contrast between his naval officer identity and the expectations of being a king is poignant and relatable, highlighting his internal conflict.
  • Elizabeth's character shines in this scene, showcasing her strength and understanding. Her backstory about refusing Bertie's marriage proposals adds depth to her character and emphasizes the sacrifices she is willing to make for their relationship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety; the exposition about her past could be woven into the scene more organically rather than stated outright.
  • Bertie's breakdown is a powerful moment, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his physical reactions leading up to the sobs. For instance, incorporating visual cues like trembling hands or a strained voice could heighten the emotional impact.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, especially during Bertie's breakdown. Allowing for a moment of silence or a longer pause before Elizabeth speaks could amplify the weight of his emotions and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the moment.
  • The dialogue, while heartfelt, occasionally leans towards being overly expository. For example, when Bertie lists the contents of the dispatch box, it feels a bit mechanical. Instead, consider using more natural dialogue that reflects his frustration and confusion without listing items explicitly.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physicality to Bertie's emotional state before his breakdown. Small gestures or movements can convey his anxiety and frustration more effectively.
  • Revise Elizabeth's dialogue to incorporate her backstory in a more subtle manner. Perhaps she could reference her past feelings in a way that connects to the present moment without explicitly stating them.
  • Introduce a moment of silence after Bertie's breakdown before Elizabeth responds. This pause can create a more profound emotional impact and allow the audience to feel the weight of the moment.
  • Explore the use of visual metaphors or symbols in the scene, such as the dispatch box itself representing the burdens of kingship, to deepen the thematic resonance.
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to make it feel more organic. Instead of listing the contents of the dispatch box, Bertie could express his feelings about the responsibilities in a more abstract way, focusing on his emotional response rather than the specifics.



Scene 43 -  A Royal Visit
EXT. LOGUE HOME, SOUTH KENSINGTON - NEW DAY

Re-establishing shot. Two large cars wait at the curb-side.


INT. PARLOUR, LOGUE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

A knock at the front door.

Two figures can be seen outlined in the frosted glass door.

Lionel opens it.

Bertie and Elizabeth are standing there.

BERTIE
Waiting for a king to apologize,
one can wait rather a long wait.

ELIZABETH
I’m afraid we’re slightly late.

Beat.

LIONEL
This is home. Myrtle’s at bridge.
I’ve made sure the boys are out.

ELIZABETH
(stepping in)
It’s lovely. Absolutely lovely.

Lionel pulls out a chair for her to sit down.
66


LIONEL
Would you like some tea, Ma’am?

ELIZABETH
Yes. I’ll help myself.
(then)
Off you go now. Or must I knock
your heads together?
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In the Logue home, Lionel welcomes Bertie and Elizabeth, who arrive late. Bertie lightens the mood with a humorous remark about waiting for an apology, while Elizabeth compliments the apartment and asserts her independence by suggesting Lionel leave them alone. The scene captures a playful dynamic amidst the backdrop of royal expectations.
Strengths
  • Effective balance of tension and light-heartedness
  • Well-developed characters
  • Polite and formal dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character changes
  • Moderate conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances tension, formality, and light-heartedness, providing insight into the characters' relationships and emotions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the royal family's interaction with their speech therapist in a domestic setting, providing a unique insight into their personal lives.

Plot: 7.5

The plot progresses through the interaction between the characters, revealing tensions and emotions within the royal family during a visit to their speech therapist.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the classic 'unexpected guests' scenario, infusing it with subtle humor and nuanced character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and relationships that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential developments in the characters' relationships and dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

Lionel's internal goal is to maintain a sense of control and composure in the face of unexpected visitors, reflecting his desire to uphold his professional demeanor and social standing.

External Goal: 7

Lionel's external goal is to ensure the comfort and hospitality of his guests, Bertie and Elizabeth, reflecting his role as a host and caretaker of the home.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6.5

The conflict is subtle, primarily revolving around the tensions within the royal family and their speech therapist, adding layers to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but present, with conflicting desires and social expectations creating tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate, focusing on the personal and familial struggles of the royal family rather than external threats or conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by revealing tensions and emotions within the royal family, setting the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable due to the subtle shifts in power dynamics and the characters' hidden motivations, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome of the interaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between social expectations and personal boundaries. Lionel must balance his duty as a host with his desire for privacy and control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and formality, with moments of light-heartedness and politeness that add emotional depth to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is formal, polite, and reflective of the characters' royal status, adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the subtle tension and power dynamics between the characters, as well as the witty dialogue and social commentary.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of tension and humor to unfold naturally, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven interaction, with clear beats and character actions that propel the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of intimacy and warmth between the characters, particularly through the dialogue and the setting of the Logue home. However, the opening line from Bertie feels slightly forced as a joke about waiting for an apology. It could benefit from a more natural flow that reflects his character's vulnerability and the context of their visit.
  • The dialogue between Bertie, Elizabeth, and Lionel is engaging, but it lacks a deeper emotional resonance that could enhance the stakes of the scene. Given the recent events surrounding Bertie's accession and the weight of his responsibilities, there could be more subtext in their interactions that reflects their shared history and the challenges they face.
  • The visual elements of the scene, such as the frosted glass door and the two large cars outside, create a nice contrast between the public and private lives of the characters. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive language that captures the atmosphere inside the Logue home, enhancing the viewer's connection to the setting.
  • Lionel's character comes across as supportive, but there is an opportunity to deepen his role as a confidant. Adding a moment where he acknowledges the gravity of Bertie's situation or offers a piece of advice could strengthen their bond and highlight Lionel's importance in Bertie's life.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, particularly in the transition from the door opening to the conversation about tea. Allowing for a brief moment of silence or a more gradual introduction to the dialogue could enhance the emotional weight of the scene and give the audience time to absorb the characters' feelings.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Bertie's opening line to reflect his emotional state more authentically, perhaps by expressing a mix of humor and vulnerability that aligns with his character development.
  • Incorporate subtext into the dialogue that hints at the challenges Bertie faces as king, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his responsibilities and the support he receives from Elizabeth and Lionel.
  • Enhance the visual description of the Logue home to create a more immersive atmosphere, perhaps by including sensory details that evoke warmth and comfort, contrasting with Bertie's internal struggles.
  • Add a moment where Lionel offers a piece of advice or a reassuring comment to Bertie, reinforcing his role as a mentor and confidant, which could deepen their relationship and highlight the stakes of the scene.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly to allow for more natural pauses in the dialogue, giving characters time to react to each other and enhancing the emotional impact of their interactions.



Scene 44 -  Facing Fears
INT. LOGUE’S STUDY - CONTINUOUS

The two men enter and sit down. A moment of uncertainty. Then
Bertie blurts.

BERTIE
Here’s your shilling, Logue
(puts shilling down)
I understand what you were trying
to say, Logue.

LIONEL
I went about it the wrong way. I’m
sorry.

BERTIE
Now here I am. Is the nation ready
for two minutes of radio silence?

LIONEL
Every stammerer always fears they
will fall back to square one. I
don’t let that happen. You won’t
let that happen.

BERTIE
If I fail in my duty... David could
come back. I’ve seen the placards
“Save Our King!” They don’t mean
me. Every other monarch in history
succeeded someone who was dead, or
about to be. My predecessor is not
only alive, but very much so. What
a bloody mess! I can’t even give
them a Christmas Speech.

LIONEL
Like your Dad used to do?

BERTIE
Precisely.

LIONEL
Your father. He’s not here.

BERTIE
Yes he is. He’s on that bloody
shilling I gave you.
67


LIONEL
Easy enough to give away. You don’t
have to carry him around in your
pocket. Or your brother. You don’t
need to be afraid of things you
were afraid of when you were five.

A pause -

LIONEL (CONT’D)
You’re very much your own man,
Bertie. Your face is next, mate.

There’s a noise outside the door.

MYRTLE (O.S.)
Lionel?

LIONEL
Myrtle!

Lionel stands and pressed himself up against the wall.

BERTIE
Are you alright, Lionel?

LIONEL
Yes.

Bertie stands and makes towards the door.

BERTIE
Shall we go through?

LIONEL
(not moving)
Trust me it’s important.

BERTIE
What is it?
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In Logue's study, Bertie awkwardly offers a shilling to Lionel, acknowledging his understanding of Lionel's earlier message. They discuss Bertie's anxiety about his responsibilities as king and the weight of public expectation. Lionel reassures Bertie about his speech therapy progress, emphasizing his independence. However, the conversation is interrupted by Myrtle's voice, prompting Lionel to hide and urging Bertie to trust him, leaving a sense of tension and suspense in the air.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Intimate dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Reliance on introspection

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys Bertie's emotional struggle and the complexity of his situation, setting up a pivotal moment in the story. The dialogue is poignant and reveals layers of character depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Bertie's fears and insecurities in the aftermath of his brother's abdication is compelling and adds depth to the narrative. The scene effectively conveys the internal struggles of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Bertie grapples with his new role and the challenges he faces, setting up future conflicts and character arcs. The scene lays the groundwork for key developments in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the challenges faced by a monarch, focusing on personal growth and overcoming internal struggles. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves deep into Bertie's character, revealing his vulnerabilities, fears, and growth. The dynamic between Bertie and Lionel is explored, adding richness to their relationship and individual arcs.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes significant emotional growth and introspection in the scene, grappling with his fears and insecurities. His relationship with Lionel also evolves, showcasing a deeper connection and mutual understanding.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his fear of failure and live up to the expectations placed upon him as a monarch. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prepare for a radio speech and address the public's concerns about his ability to lead. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in maintaining his position as a monarch.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bertie's struggle with his new role and the expectations placed upon him. The tension arises from his fear of failure and the weight of his responsibilities.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character development.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Bertie as he navigates his new role as King and grapples with the legacy of his brother's abdication. The scene highlights the weight of responsibility and the challenges ahead.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by delving into Bertie's internal struggles and setting up key conflicts and character arcs. It lays the groundwork for future developments and challenges faced by the characters.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and shifts in power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle with his own identity and the expectations placed upon him by society. This challenges his beliefs about duty, responsibility, and personal growth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in Bertie's moments of vulnerability and reflection. The intimate interactions and heartfelt dialogue enhance the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the emotional depth of the characters' interactions. It conveys the inner thoughts and struggles of Bertie and Lionel, adding layers to their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the subtle tension between them, and the high stakes involved in the protagonist's struggle.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional resonance, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bertie's insecurities and Lionel's attempts to reassure him. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, Bertie's fear of failing could be illustrated through more vivid imagery or personal anecdotes rather than just stating it outright.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, particularly in the transition from Bertie's initial blurt to Lionel's response. A moment of silence or a physical reaction from Bertie could enhance the emotional weight of his admission and allow the audience to feel the gravity of the situation.
  • Lionel's line about not needing to carry his father or brother in his pocket is a strong metaphor, but it could be expanded upon. Perhaps Lionel could share a brief personal story or insight that relates to overcoming fear, which would not only reinforce his point but also create a deeper bond between the characters.
  • The introduction of Myrtle at the end of the scene feels abrupt and somewhat disjointed from the emotional flow. It might be more effective to build up to her entrance with a more gradual transition, allowing the audience to anticipate her arrival and understand its significance in the context of the conversation.
  • Bertie's humor about the shilling is a nice touch, but it could be more impactful if it were tied to a specific memory or feeling. This would ground the humor in character development and make it resonate more with the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a physical reaction after Bertie's initial line to emphasize his vulnerability and the weight of his words.
  • Expand on Lionel's metaphor about carrying his father and brother by incorporating a personal anecdote that illustrates overcoming fear, which would deepen the emotional connection between the characters.
  • Revisit the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more natural pauses and reactions, enhancing the emotional stakes of the conversation.
  • Introduce Myrtle's entrance more gradually, perhaps with a sound cue or a visual indication that builds anticipation for her arrival, making it feel more integrated into the scene.
  • Enhance Bertie's humor about the shilling by tying it to a specific memory or emotional context, making it more relatable and impactful for the audience.



Scene 45 -  Royal Etiquette
INT. PARLOUR, LOGUE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Myrtle has entered, she is flabbergasted.

MYRTLE
Your... your...

ELIZABETH
It’s “Your Majesty”, the first
time. After that, “Ma’am”, as in
ham, not Ma’lm as in palm.
68


INT. LOGUE’S STUDY - CONTINUOUS

Lionel, still pressed against the wall, is explaining his
reticence to Bertie.

LIONEL
I haven’t told her.. about us. Sit
down, relax.

Bertie, bemused, sits.


INT. PARLOUR, LOGUE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

ELIZABETH
I’m informed your husband calls my
husband Bertie and my husband calls
your husband Lionel. I trust you
won’t call me Liz.

MYRTLE
Your Majesty, you may call me Mrs
Logue, Ma’am.

ELIZABETH
Very nice to meet you, Mrs Logue

Myrtle is taken aback.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary Myrtle enters the Logue apartment, shocked to find Elizabeth present. Elizabeth corrects Myrtle on how to address her, establishing the proper etiquette. Meanwhile, Lionel confides in Bertie about his reluctance to inform Myrtle of their relationship. The scene captures Myrtle's surprise and respect as she navigates the formalities, highlighting the tension between their social statuses.
Strengths
  • Effective dialogue
  • Humorous tone
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of plot progression
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor and formality, providing insight into the characters' personalities and relationships.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around etiquette and social norms, which is effectively conveyed through the characters' interactions.

Plot: 7

While the plot does not significantly progress in this scene, it serves to establish the relationship dynamics between the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on class distinctions and social etiquette, presenting authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Elizabeth and Myrtle are well-defined through their dialogue and actions, showcasing their personalities and social status.

Character Changes: 2

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on establishing relationships and dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

Myrtle's internal goal is to navigate the unfamiliar social dynamics and etiquette of the upper-class setting. This reflects her deeper need for acceptance and respect in a new environment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to establish a positive impression and rapport with Elizabeth and navigate the social interactions smoothly.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 2

There is minimal conflict in the scene, focusing more on social dynamics and etiquette.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Myrtle faces challenges in navigating the social hierarchy and expectations.

High Stakes: 1

The stakes are low in this scene, centered around social etiquette rather than life-changing decisions.

Story Forward: 4

While the scene does not significantly move the plot forward, it sets the stage for future interactions and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of character interactions and the shifting power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around class distinctions and societal norms. Myrtle's position as a newcomer challenges the established hierarchy and expectations of behavior.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 3

The emotional impact is low in this scene, with a focus on humor and politeness rather than deep emotional moments.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging, blending humor with formality to create an interesting exchange between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the witty dialogue, subtle humor, and tension in the social interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting the nuances of social interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and focused character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between the characters, particularly with Myrtle's shock at Elizabeth's presence and Elizabeth's assertive correction of her title. This dynamic sets the stage for the complexities of royal etiquette and personal relationships, which is a recurring theme in the screenplay.
  • The dialogue is sharp and serves to establish character relationships and social hierarchies. Elizabeth's insistence on proper titles not only reinforces her royal status but also highlights her confidence and authority, which contrasts with Myrtle's surprise and confusion. This contrast is effective in showcasing the differences in their worlds.
  • However, the scene could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. While the humor and tension are present, the stakes feel somewhat low. The audience may not fully grasp the significance of this interaction in the broader context of Bertie's struggles with his identity as king. Adding a line or two that hints at the emotional weight of these titles and the expectations they carry could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The transition between the parlour and Logue's study is somewhat abrupt. While the split between the two locations serves to build tension, it may confuse the audience if they are not clear on the spatial dynamics. A brief visual or auditory cue could help to smooth this transition and maintain clarity.
  • Lionel's reticence about his relationship with Bertie is an interesting plot point, but it feels somewhat underdeveloped in this scene. A more explicit acknowledgment of the stakes involved in keeping this secret could heighten the tension and provide more context for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two that reflects Elizabeth's internal thoughts or feelings about the royal expectations and her role, which could deepen the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Enhance the transition between the parlour and Logue's study by incorporating a visual cue, such as a sound effect or a brief description of the movement, to help the audience follow the shift in location more smoothly.
  • Explore Myrtle's character further by giving her a moment of vulnerability or insight that reveals her feelings about the situation, which could create a more layered interaction between her and Elizabeth.
  • Incorporate a moment where Bertie reacts to the tension in the room, perhaps showing his discomfort with the formalities, which could serve to highlight his struggles with identity and royal expectations.
  • Consider using physical actions or gestures to complement the dialogue, such as Elizabeth adjusting her posture to assert her authority or Myrtle fidgeting with her hands, to visually convey the emotional undercurrents of the scene.



Scene 46 -  Confronting Cowardice
INT. LOGUE’S STUDY - CONTINUOUS

The men listen to their wives’ conversation.

BERTIE
Logue, we can’t stay here all day.

LIONEL
Yes we can.

BERTIE
Logue..

LIONEL
Look, I need to wait for the
opportune moment.

BERTIE
(realizing)
You’re being a coward!

LIONEL
You’re damn right.

Decisive, Bertie stands and throws open the door.

BERTIE
Get out there, man!
69


And Bertie ushers Lionel into the parlour.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Logue's study, Bertie confronts Lionel about his hesitation to face their wives, expressing frustration over their prolonged stay. Lionel admits to feeling cowardly, prompting Bertie to take charge and physically push him towards the parlour, urging him to confront the situation. The scene is tense and urgent, culminating in Bertie's decisive action to usher Lionel out.
Strengths
  • Intense confrontation
  • Emotional depth
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with strong tension and emotional depth. The confrontation between Bertie and Lionel is compelling and drives the narrative forward effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash of wills between Bertie and Lionel, exploring themes of courage, fear, and determination. The scene effectively conveys the internal struggles of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene centers on the pivotal moment of confrontation between Bertie and Lionel, advancing the narrative by revealing the characters' motivations and conflicts. The scene contributes to the overall story arc.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of courage and leadership, exploring the complexities of these concepts through the characters' interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Bertie and Lionel are well-developed and portrayed with depth and nuance. Their interactions reveal layers of emotion and complexity, adding richness to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bertie and Lionel undergo significant emotional changes during the scene, confronting their fears and challenging their beliefs. The confrontation leads to personal growth and self-discovery for both characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to confront Lionel about his perceived cowardice and push him to take action. This reflects Bertie's need for courage and leadership in the face of challenges.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal in this scene is to motivate Lionel to take action and face his fears. This reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming obstacles and fulfilling responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bertie and Lionel is intense and drives the emotional tension of the scene. Their opposing desires and fears create a compelling dynamic that propels the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie challenging Lionel's beliefs and pushing him out of his comfort zone. The audience is left unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Bertie and Lionel confront their fears and make crucial decisions that will impact their futures. The outcome of the confrontation has significant consequences for both characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the internal conflicts and motivations of the characters. The confrontation between Bertie and Lionel sets the stage for future developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected confrontation between Bertie and Lionel, which challenges the audience's expectations and adds tension to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's belief in courage and action versus Lionel's hesitation and fear. This challenges Bertie's values of leadership and bravery.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as Bertie and Lionel confront their fears and vulnerabilities. The raw emotion and intensity of the confrontation resonate with the audience, drawing them into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, impactful, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters. The exchanges between Bertie and Lionel drive the conflict and resolution of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters and the high stakes of their confrontation. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, drawing the reader into the characters' struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation between the characters. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear dialogue and scene descriptions that enhance the reader's understanding of the characters' emotions and motivations.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bertie and Lionel, showcasing their dynamic relationship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. While Bertie's frustration is clear, exploring Lionel's internal conflict about confronting Myrtle could add layers to his character.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from dialogue to action. Bertie's decisive action of throwing open the door is impactful, but it could be enhanced by building more tension in the dialogue leading up to it. This would create a stronger payoff when he finally takes action.
  • The use of humor in Lionel's response ('Yes we can.') is a nice touch, but it could be more effectively integrated into the scene. If Lionel's humor was more self-deprecating or reflective of his own fears, it would resonate better with the audience and provide a contrast to Bertie's urgency.
  • The visual elements of the scene are somewhat lacking. Describing the physical space of Logue's study and how it reflects the characters' emotional states could enhance the atmosphere. For example, mentioning clutter or the warmth of the room could juxtapose the tension in their conversation.
  • The scene ends abruptly after Bertie's decisive action. A moment of reflection or a brief exchange after they enter the parlour could provide closure and allow the audience to absorb the shift in dynamics. This would also give Myrtle a chance to react to Bertie's assertiveness.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue, particularly in Lionel's responses, to reveal his internal struggle about confronting Myrtle.
  • Slow down the pacing leading up to Bertie's action. Build tension through dialogue that reflects both men's fears and motivations before Bertie decisively opens the door.
  • Incorporate more humor that reflects Lionel's character, perhaps through self-deprecation, to create a contrast with Bertie's urgency.
  • Enhance the visual description of Logue's study to reflect the emotional stakes of the scene, using details that symbolize the characters' states of mind.
  • Add a brief moment of reflection or dialogue after Bertie ushers Lionel into the parlour to provide closure and allow the audience to process the shift in dynamics.



Scene 47 -  A Dinner Invitation Gone Awry
INT. PARLOUR, LOGUE APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Logue enters, pretending total innocence and surprise,
followed by Bertie.

LIONEL
Oh! Hello, Myrtle darling! You’re
early.(indicating Elizabeth) I
believe you two have met! I don’t
believe you know....King George VI?

BERTIE
It’s very nice to meet you.

Myrtle stares at Lionel and takes her revenge.

MYRTLE
Will their Majesties be staying for
dinner?

Logue and Bertie look panic-stricken. Elizabeth comes to the
rescue.

ELIZABETH
We would love to, such a treat, but
alas...a previous engagement. What
a pity.

On Lionel’s relief.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In the parlour, Lionel Logue feigns surprise at Myrtle's early arrival and introduces her to Bertie, who is actually King George VI. Myrtle seizes the moment to embarrass them by asking if the royal guests will stay for dinner, causing panic in both Logue and Bertie. Elizabeth intervenes gracefully, declining the invitation due to a prior engagement, which relieves the tension in the room.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled interactions
  • Well-developed characters
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Lack of major plot progression
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and formality of the royal encounter while also providing moments of relief and politeness, showcasing the complex dynamics at play.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of a royal encounter with their speech therapist is intriguing and adds depth to the characters and their relationships. The scene effectively explores themes of duty, etiquette, and personal struggles.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the tense interaction between the royal family and their speech therapist, adding layers to the characters and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the familiar theme of social etiquette and personal authenticity, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the time period.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal deeper layers of their relationships and inner struggles.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' emotions and dynamics, there are no significant changes in this particular scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and navigate a potentially awkward social situation. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and approval, as well as his fear of embarrassment or failure in front of others.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gracefully handle unexpected social interactions and maintain appearances in front of guests. This reflects the immediate challenge of managing a potentially awkward situation without causing offense or embarrassment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal and interpersonal, focusing on the characters' struggles with duty, expectations, and personal desires.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene adds a layer of complexity and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged and unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are relatively high in the scene as the royal family navigates their relationships and responsibilities in a tense and formal setting.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the characters' relationships and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected social interactions and the characters' nuanced responses.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between social expectations and personal authenticity. The characters must navigate the demands of polite society while also staying true to themselves.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, particularly in conveying the characters' anxieties, relief, and politeness in the tense situation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension, formality, and awkwardness of the royal encounter, adding depth to the characters and driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, subtle tension, and the characters' dynamic interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character introductions, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and humor of the moment, particularly through Myrtle's unexpected question about dinner, which serves as a comedic twist. However, the setup could benefit from more context regarding Myrtle's character and her relationship with Lionel and the royal couple. This would enhance the audience's understanding of her motivations and the stakes involved.
  • Bertie's introduction as 'King George VI' feels somewhat abrupt. While it serves to highlight the contrast between his royal status and the casual setting, a more gradual reveal or a moment of internal conflict for Bertie could deepen the emotional impact. This would allow the audience to feel the weight of his title in a more nuanced way.
  • Elizabeth's intervention is a strong moment that showcases her character's assertiveness and ability to navigate social situations. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic. Instead of simply stating they have a previous engagement, Elizabeth could add a touch of humor or a specific reason that reflects her personality, making the moment more memorable.
  • The pacing of the scene is quick, which works well for the comedic elements, but it may leave little room for character development. A brief pause after Myrtle's question could heighten the tension and allow the audience to absorb the moment before Elizabeth's intervention.
  • The visual elements are effective, but the scene could benefit from more descriptive action. For example, detailing Myrtle's body language or facial expressions when she makes her remark could enhance the comedic effect and provide insight into her character's feelings about the royal presence.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two of dialogue that provides context for Myrtle's character, perhaps hinting at her feelings towards Lionel or the royal couple, to enrich the audience's understanding of her motivations.
  • Introduce Bertie's royal title more gradually, perhaps through a moment of hesitation or self-reflection, to emphasize the weight of his responsibilities and create a deeper emotional connection with the audience.
  • Enhance Elizabeth's dialogue with a humorous or witty remark that reflects her personality, making her response to Myrtle's question more engaging and memorable.
  • Incorporate a brief pause after Myrtle's question to build tension before Elizabeth's response, allowing the audience to fully appreciate the comedic timing of the moment.
  • Add more descriptive action to the scene, particularly focusing on Myrtle's reactions and body language, to amplify the comedic effect and provide insight into her character's perspective.



Scene 48 -  Tensions at the Coronation
EXT. WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY

To establish. Preparations are being made in the street for
the coronation - spectator stands are complete and fabric is
being dressed.


INT. WESTMINSTER ABBEY - DAY

The center piece of the Coronation staging is the throne of
Edward the Confessor. Scaffolding has been erected to supply
seating. Technicians work to erect film cameras, lights,
radio microphones.

They stop short as they see Cosmo Lang waiting to greet them,
flanked by the Dean of Westminster and a couple of flunkies.

There is a distinct drop in temperature.

BERTIE
Archbishop.
70


COSMO LANG
Welcome your Majesty.
(referring to the
cathedral, but it’s
double-edge)
What a glorious transformation,
Sir. I hope you’ll forgive us if we
continue our preparations. Allow me
to guide you through the ceremony.

They begin to walk together, Lionel a few paces behind.

COSMO LANG (CONT’D)
We begin, of course at the West
Door, then into the nave.

BERTIE
I see all your pronouncements are
to be broadcast, Archbishop.

Cosmo sees Bertie staring at the microphones.

COSMO LANG
Ah, yes, wireless is indeed a
Pandora’s Box. I’m afraid I’ve also
had to permit the newsreel cameras.
The product of which I shall
personally edit.

LIONEL
Without momentary hesitation.

BERTIE
Doctor Lionel Logue of Harley
Street, my speech specialist.

COSMO LANG
Specialist?! Had I known Your
Majesty was seeking assistance I
would’ve made my own
recommendation.

BERTIE
Dr. Logue is to be present at the
Coronation.

COSMO LANG
Well of course I shall speak to the
Dean, but it will be extremely
difficult.

BERTIE
I should like the Doctor to be
seated in the King’s Box.

COSMO LANG
But members of your Family will be
seated there, Sir.
71


BERTIE
That why it’s suitable.

LIONEL
And now, if you don’t mind, we need
the premises.

COSMO LANG
My dear fellow, this is Westminster
Abbey! The Church must prepare his
Majesty.

LIONEL
My preparations for Bertie are
equally important.

The two men stare each other down.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
With complete privacy. If you don’t
mind.

BERTIE
Those are my wishes, Your Grace.

COSMO LANG
(sniffs)
I shall place the Abbey at Your
Majesty’s disposal...this evening.
Your Majesty.

Lang nods curtly and exits.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As preparations for the coronation unfold at Westminster Abbey, King Bertie asserts his need for his speech specialist, Lionel Logue, to be present, challenging Archbishop Cosmo Lang's authority. A standoff ensues over the seating arrangement, highlighting the tension between the ceremonial expectations and Bertie's personal struggles. Ultimately, Lang concedes to allow the Abbey for Bertie's private preparations later that evening, but the underlying conflict remains palpable.
Strengths
  • Effective tension and conflict
  • Well-defined characters
  • Intriguing power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Some dialogue may be overly formal

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the conflict and power struggle between Bertie and Cosmo Lang, adding depth to the story and characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the clash of authority and control, is well-developed and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through the conflict between Bertie and Cosmo Lang, setting the stage for future events and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the conflict between tradition and modernity within the context of a royal ceremony. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the authenticity of the setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined in their interactions, showcasing their motivations and personalities effectively.

Character Changes: 7

There is a subtle shift in Bertie's assertiveness and determination in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to assert his authority and make decisions for himself, despite the pressure from others. This reflects his deeper need for independence and self-confidence.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to ensure that his speech specialist, Lionel Logue, is present at the Coronation and seated in the King's Box. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the expectations and traditions of the ceremony.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Bertie and Cosmo Lang adds tension and intrigue to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power struggles creating uncertainty and tension for the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Bertie asserts his authority and control over the Coronation proceedings.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the conflict and tension surrounding the Coronation.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and unexpected decisions made by the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between tradition and modernity. Cosmo Lang represents tradition and the established order, while Lionel Logue represents modern methods and individual choice. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about the importance of tradition and the need for personal agency.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation, but the emotional impact is not as pronounced.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is formal and tense, reflecting the power struggle between Bertie and Cosmo Lang.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflicting goals, and power dynamics between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains the audience's interest through well-timed reveals and confrontations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic confrontation, with escalating tension and clear character motivations driving the action.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the tension between Bertie and Cosmo Lang, highlighting the power dynamics at play during the coronation preparations. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the conflict. For instance, Lang's double-edged comments could be more layered, hinting at his disdain for Bertie's reliance on Lionel without being overtly antagonistic.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the exchanges between Bertie and Lang. Allowing for more pauses or reactions could heighten the tension and give the audience time to absorb the implications of their words. This would also allow for a more natural flow of conversation, reflecting the weight of the moment.
  • Lionel's role in the scene is crucial, yet his character could be more vividly portrayed through his actions and expressions. Instead of just stating his need for privacy, showing his determination through body language or a more assertive tone could enhance his character's strength and commitment to Bertie's success.
  • The visual elements, such as the description of the Abbey and the preparations, are strong but could be expanded to create a more immersive atmosphere. Adding sensory details, like the sounds of the preparations or the grandeur of the Abbey, would help the audience feel the significance of the moment.
  • The dialogue could be tightened to eliminate any redundancy. For example, when Bertie states, 'Dr. Logue is to be present at the Coronation,' it could be rephrased to sound more authoritative or urgent, emphasizing his insistence on Lionel's presence without unnecessary repetition.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to Lang's dialogue to create a richer conflict. This could involve him making veiled comments that reveal his true feelings about Bertie's reliance on Lionel.
  • Slow down the pacing by incorporating pauses or reactions between lines of dialogue. This will allow the audience to feel the tension and weight of the situation more acutely.
  • Enhance Lionel's character by showing his determination through physical actions or assertive dialogue. This will help establish him as a strong ally for Bertie.
  • Include more sensory details in the description of Westminster Abbey to create a more vivid and immersive setting. This could involve describing the sounds, smells, and visual grandeur of the location.
  • Tighten the dialogue to make it more impactful. Focus on making each line count, ensuring that Bertie's insistence on Lionel's presence comes across as both urgent and authoritative.



Scene 49 -  Voices of Authority
INT. WESTMINSTER ABBEY - THAT NIGHT

Footsteps resonate.

Lionel enters. Ahead, he sees Cosmo Lang quietly conferring
with Bertie. As Lionel approached, Cosmo Lang slips away.

LIONEL
I can’t believe I’m walking on
Chaucer and Handel and Dickens.
Everything alright? Let’s get
cracking.

Bertie, seated on a ceremonial chair, does not rise.

BERTIE
I’m not here to rehearse, Doctor
Logue.

Pause-

BERTIE (CONT’D)
True, you never called yourself
‘Doctor’. I did that for you.
(MORE)
72

BERTIE (CONT’D)
No diploma, no training, no
qualifications. Just a great deal
of nerve.

LIONEL
Ah, the star chamber inquisition,
is it?

BERTIE
You asked for trust and total
equality.

LIONEL
Bertie, I heard you at Wembley, I
was there. I heard you. My son
Laurie said “Do you think you could
help that poor man?” I replied “If
I had the chance”.

BERTIE
What, as a failed actor!?

LIONEL
It’s true, I’m not a doctor, and
yes I acted a bit, recited in pubs
and taught elocution in schools.
When the Great War came, our boys
were pouring back from the front,
shell-shocked and unable to speak
and somebody said, “Lionel, you’re
very good at all this speech stuff.
Do you think you could possibly
help these poor buggers”. I did
muscle therapy, exercise,
relaxation, but I knew I had to go
deeper. Those poor young blokes had
cried out in fear, and no-one was
listening to them. My job was to
give them faith in their voice and
let them know that a friend was
listening. That must ring a few
bells with you, Bertie.

BERTIE
You give a very noble account of
yourself.

LIONEL
Make inquiries. It’s all true.

BERTIE
Inquiries have been made! You have
no idea who I have breathing down
my neck. I vouched for you and you
have no credentials.
73


LIONEL
But lots of success! I can’t show
you a certificate - there was no
training then. All I know I know by
experience, and that war was some
experience. May plaque says, ‘L.
Logue, Speech Defects’. No Dr., no
letters after my name.
(with mock seriousness)
Lock me in the Tower.

BERTIE
I would if I could!

LIONEL
On what charge?

BERTIE
Fraud! With war looming, you’ve
saddle this nation with a voiceless
King. Destroyed the happiness of my
family...all for the sake of
ensnaring a star patient you knew
you couldn’t possibly assist!

His desperation spills out. He pulls himself out the chair,
striding past Lionel.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
It’ll be like mad King George the
Third, there’ll be Mad King George
the Stammerer, who let his people
down so badly in their hour of
need!

Lionel sits down on the chair of Edward the Confessor.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
What’re you doing? Get up! You
can’t sit there!

Overlapping-

LIONEL
Why not? It’s a chair.

BERTIE
No, it’s not, that is Saint
Edward’s Chair-

LIONEL
People have carved their initials
into it!

BERTIE
That chair is the seat on which
every King and Queen-
74


LIONEL
It’s held in place by a large rock!

BERTIE
That is the Stone of Scone, you are
trivialising everything-

LIONEL
I don’t care. I don’t care how many
Royal arses have sat in this chair-

Overlapping-

BERTIE
Listen to me... !

LIONEL
Listen to you?! By what right?

BERTIE
Divine right, if you must! I’m your
King!!!

LIONEL
Noooo you’re not! Told me so
yourself. Said you didn’t want it.
So why should I waste my time
listening to you?

BERTIE
Because I have a right to be heard!

LIONEL
Heard as what?!

BERTIE
A man! I HAVE A VOICE!!!

LIONEL
(quietly)
Yes you do. You have such
perseverance, Bertie, you’re the
bravest man I know. And you’ll make
a bloody good king.

Bertie stares at him.

A familiar voice is heard from the shadows.

VOICE
What on earth’s going on, Sir?

BERTIE
It’s all right, Archbishop.

The Archbishop of Canterbury.
75


COSMO LANG
Mr Logue, you should know that I
have found a replacement English
specialist with impeccable
credentials. Hence, your services
will no longer be required.

BERTIE
I’m sorry?

COSMO LANG
Your Majesty’s function is to
consult and be advised. You didn’t
consult, but you’ve just been
advised.

BERTIE
Now I advise you: in this personal
matter I will make my own decision.

COSMO LANG
My concern is for the head upon
which I must place the crown.

BERTIE
I appreciate that Archbishop, but
it’s my head!

COSMO LANG
Your humble servant.

Lang turns on his heel and is gone, leaving Bertie shaken,
with both anger, and fear.

LIONEL
Thank you Bertie. Shall we
rehearse?

Bertie sits in the ceremonial chair once more.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
As soon as you and Elizabeth enter
the West door, you’ll be greeted
with the hymn “I Was Glad When They
Said Unto Me.” You won’t actually
be that glad, because they sing it
for a great long time. Then your
friend the Archbishop will ponce up
and say, “Sir, is Your Majesty
willing to take The Oath?” You
say..

BERTIE
“I am willing”.
76


LIONEL
Course you are! I’ll see what it
sounds like from the cheap seats so
even your old nanny can hear.
“Will you govern your peoples of
Great Britain, Ireland, Canada,
Australia and New Zealand according
to their lands and customs?”

BERTIE
"I solemnly promise so do so."

LIONEL
LOUDER! I can’t hear you up the
back.

BERTIE
“I SOLEMNLY PROMISE TO DO SO!”

LIONEL
Very good! "Will you to your power
cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to
be executed in all your
judgements?"

BERTIE
"I will." “I WILL!”

LIONEL
Then a long bit about upholding the
faith, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
To which you finally say...

BERTIE
“These things which I have
herebefore promised, I will perform
and keep. So help me God.”

LIONEL
That’s all you have to say. Four
short responses, kiss the book and
sign the oath. There you are:
you’re King. Easy.

The faint CLICKING WHIR of a film projector is heard.
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In a tense night scene at Westminster Abbey, Lionel Logue confronts Bertie's doubts about his qualifications as a speech therapist. Bertie, seated in a ceremonial chair, questions Lionel's experience and expresses fears of being a voiceless king. The arrival of Cosmo Lang, who informs Bertie that Lionel's services are no longer needed, escalates the conflict. Despite the pressure, Bertie asserts his right to choose his own path. The scene concludes with Lionel attempting to guide Bertie through his coronation responses, highlighting the ongoing struggle for confidence and voice.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Strong performances
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense and emotionally charged, with strong character dynamics and a pivotal moment in Bertie's journey towards accepting his role as King. The dialogue is impactful and reveals deep-seated fears and vulnerabilities.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and the pressure of becoming King. It explores themes of self-acceptance, courage, and the importance of finding one's voice.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene advances the story by showcasing Bertie's internal turmoil and his evolving relationship with Lionel. It sets the stage for Bertie's growth and acceptance of his role as King.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and characters, presenting a unique take on the relationship between Bertie and Lionel. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters of Bertie and Lionel are well-developed and complex, with conflicting motivations and emotions driving their interactions. Their dynamic adds depth to the scene and highlights the central themes of the story.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes significant character growth in the scene, confronting his insecurities and fears while asserting his identity and voice. This pivotal moment marks a turning point in his journey towards self-acceptance and leadership.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth and expertise to Bertie, despite lacking formal qualifications. This reflects his desire for recognition and validation of his unconventional methods and experience.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to continue his work with Bertie and help him overcome his speech impediment before his coronation. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in gaining Bertie's trust and proving his capabilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, stemming from Bertie's internal struggles, his clash with Lionel, and the external pressures of his royal duties. It adds depth and tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie challenging Lionel's expertise and qualifications. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their conflict, adding suspense and drama to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Bertie grapples with the weight of his royal responsibilities, the expectations of his people, and the fear of failure. The outcome of his confrontation with Lionel has far-reaching consequences for his reign and personal growth.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by deepening the conflict, advancing Bertie's character arc, and setting the stage for key developments in the narrative. It builds tension and anticipation for the resolution of Bertie's internal and external struggles.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and emotional revelations between the characters. The audience is kept on edge as they navigate the complex interactions and conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the value of experience and expertise versus formal qualifications and societal expectations. Bertie questions Lionel's credentials, while Lionel emphasizes the importance of his practical knowledge and results.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.4

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting empathy for Bertie's challenges and fears, as well as admiration for his resilience and determination. The raw emotions and vulnerability of the characters resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9.3

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, emotional, and revealing, capturing the essence of the characters' struggles and desires. It drives the conflict and showcases the evolving relationship between Bertie and Lionel.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflict, sharp dialogue, and historical context. The dynamic between Bertie and Lionel keeps the audience invested in their relationship and struggles.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing for moments of reflection and conflict to resonate with the audience. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-formatted and contributes to the overall flow of the scene.

Structure: 8.5

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict between the characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Bertie and Lionel, showcasing their complex relationship. However, the dialogue can feel a bit expository at times, particularly when Bertie lists Lionel's lack of qualifications. This could be streamlined to maintain the flow of the conversation and avoid redundancy.
  • The emotional stakes are high, but the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. For instance, incorporating more physical actions or reactions from Bertie and Lionel could enhance the tension and convey their emotional states without relying solely on dialogue.
  • The introduction of the Archbishop of Canterbury adds a layer of conflict, but his arrival feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual build-up to his entrance could heighten the tension and make his presence feel more impactful.
  • While the banter between Bertie and Lionel is engaging, it occasionally veers into comedic territory, which may undermine the gravity of the situation. Balancing humor with the seriousness of Bertie's fears about his speech and kingship is crucial to maintaining the scene's tone.
  • The scene concludes with a sense of urgency as Bertie prepares for his coronation, but it could be strengthened by emphasizing the stakes of the moment. Highlighting Bertie's internal struggle and fear of failure could create a more compelling climax to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate redundancy and enhance the pacing. For example, instead of Bertie listing Lionel's qualifications, he could express his doubts more succinctly.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or visual cues to convey the characters' emotions. For instance, showing Bertie's body language as he expresses frustration or fear could add depth to his character.
  • Gradually build up to the Archbishop's entrance by hinting at his impending arrival through Bertie's and Lionel's dialogue, creating a sense of anticipation.
  • Maintain a balance between humor and seriousness by ensuring that comedic moments do not overshadow the emotional weight of Bertie's fears about his speech and kingship.
  • Emphasize the stakes of the moment by delving deeper into Bertie's internal conflict. Consider adding a moment of reflection where he contemplates the implications of his speech and the weight of the crown.



Scene 50 -  A Royal Reflection: Coronation and Controversy
INT. SCREENING ROOM, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - NEW DAY

On the screen: archive - Pathe newsreel footage of the
Coronation.

The Royal Family watches: Bertie, Elizabeth, Lilibet and
Margaret. Cosmo Lang and his assistant are in attendance.
There is a projectionist also.
77


MARGARET ROSE
You nearly crowned him backwards
Archbishop!

Lang steps in front of the screen, eager to explain

COSMO LANG
Someone had removed the thread that
was marking the front of the Crown,
Sir.

BERTIE
Try not lose the thread,
Archbishop.

LILLIBET
(peering around Lang)
Archbishop, your missing Papa.

We see Bertie giving two of his responses.

ELIZABETH
Very good, very good. Archbishop.

COSMO LANG
Well, I hope Your Majesties are
thrilled with the result.

The Coronation footage finishes. The next segment of the
newsreel is entitled “Hitler in Nuremberg!” and shows him
viewing troops doing the goose-step amidst immense crowds. We
then see Hitler’s mad eloquence, mesmerizing all.

COSMO LANG (CONT’D)
(to the projectionist)
You can turn that off now.

ELIZABETH
No, wait, keeping going.

LILLIBET
Do have a seat, Archbishop.

They watch the footage.

LILIBET
What’s he saying, Papa?

BERTIE
I don’t know, but he seems to be
saying it rather well.

Off the roar of the crowds on the screen.

Bertie’s face as he watches Hitler.
78
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a Buckingham Palace screening room, the Royal Family watches archive footage of the Coronation, sharing light banter as Archbishop Cosmo Lang explains a mishap during the ceremony. The mood shifts as a newsreel featuring Hitler captivates the audience with his speech. Bertie expresses uncertainty about Hitler's words but acknowledges his compelling delivery, while Elizabeth encourages the projectionist to continue. The scene blends humor with tension, highlighting the family's dynamic and their reactions to the unsettling imagery, culminating in Bertie's contemplative expression as he reflects on the speech.
Strengths
  • Effective juxtaposition of historical events
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Historical accuracy in depicting the Coronation and Hitler's speech
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and reflection of the characters while providing historical context through the newsreel footage.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing the Coronation with Hitler's speech provides a deeper insight into the characters' concerns and the political climate of the time.

Plot: 8

The plot progression focuses on the characters' reactions to the newsreel footage, highlighting their internal struggles and external challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and characters, with authentic dialogue and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene are well-developed, showcasing their individual concerns and perspectives.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' perspectives and concerns are further revealed.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the delicate balance between duty and personal beliefs, as seen in Bertie's subtle comments and reactions to the footage.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain composure and diplomacy while watching sensitive footage and interacting with the Archbishop.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and reflective, focusing on the characters' struggles with their roles and the political events unfolding.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, adding depth to the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are implied through the characters' reactions to the political events and their internal struggles with duty and responsibility.

Story Forward: 8

The scene provides insight into the characters' emotional states and concerns, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional depth and character interactions, keeping the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the juxtaposition of the Royal Family's duty to maintain appearances and their personal feelings towards the events shown in the newsreel.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension, reflection, and curiosity, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional states.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is formal and reflective, fitting the tone of the scene and providing insight into the characters' thoughts and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of historical context, character dynamics, and subtle humor.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene enhances its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and emotional beats.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of levity and familial bonding within the Royal Family, juxtaposed against the serious backdrop of the Coronation and the looming threat of Hitler. This contrast adds depth to the characters and highlights the tension of the era.
  • The dialogue is sharp and humorous, particularly Margaret Rose's quip about the Archbishop nearly crowning Bertie backwards. This adds a light-hearted tone that balances the gravity of the situation, making the characters more relatable and human.
  • However, the transition from the Coronation footage to the newsreel of Hitler feels abrupt. While it serves to underscore the political climate, the shift could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene. A brief moment of reflection or commentary from Bertie or Elizabeth could help bridge this transition.
  • Bertie's line about Hitler's eloquence is impactful, but it could benefit from more emotional weight. Given the context of the time, a deeper reflection on the implications of Hitler's words or the reactions of the family could enhance the scene's tension and significance.
  • The presence of Cosmo Lang is somewhat overshadowed by the children's banter and Bertie's responses. While his role is important, the scene could explore his character further, perhaps by showing his own reactions to the footage or his thoughts on the implications of Hitler's rhetoric.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared glance among the family members after the Coronation footage ends, before transitioning to the Hitler newsreel. This could heighten the emotional impact and create a more seamless transition.
  • Enhance Bertie's line about Hitler's eloquence by having him express concern or fear about the implications of such powerful rhetoric, which would add depth to his character and reflect the historical context more poignantly.
  • Give Cosmo Lang a more active role in the scene by allowing him to express his own thoughts or concerns about the footage of Hitler, which could provide insight into his character and the political climate of the time.
  • Consider incorporating more visual elements that reflect the family's reactions to the newsreel, such as close-ups of their expressions, to emphasize the emotional weight of the moment and the contrast between the light-heartedness of the Coronation and the seriousness of the political situation.



Scene 51 -  A Somber Farewell
INT. MEETING ROOM, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - NEW DAY

Baldwin enters, looking pale and tired, to see Bertie.

BERTIE
Good Morning Mr Baldwin.

BALDWIN
Good Morning your Majesty.
Congratulations on your Coronation.
It went splendidly.

BERTIE
Thank you, Prime Minister. Luckily
I only had to repeat a few short
oaths. I may not be so fortunate in
the future.

BALDWIN
Sir, I have asked to see you today
in order to tender my resignation
as Prime Minister.

BERTIE
I am so sorry to hear that, Mr
Baldwin.

BALDWIN
Neville Chamberlain will take my
place as Prime Minister. It’s a
matter of principal. I was
mistaken. I have found it
impossible to believe that there is
any man in the World so lacking in
moral feeling as Hitler, but the
world might be hurled for a second
time into the abyss of destructive
War. Churchill was right all along.
This was always Hitler’s intention.
I am only sorry to leave you in
this time of crisis. I am afraid
Sir, your greatest test is yet to
come.
Genres: ["Historical Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a meeting room at Buckingham Palace, Baldwin, appearing pale and weary, congratulates Bertie on his recent coronation. However, he soon reveals his resignation as Prime Minister, expressing deep concern over the imminent threat of war with Hitler and acknowledging his previous misjudgments about the dictator's intentions. Baldwin warns Bertie that his greatest challenges are yet to come, leaving the new king facing an uncertain future as Baldwin departs, highlighting the gravity of the political situation.
Strengths
  • Tense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Political intrigue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character interaction
  • Lack of visual elements

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the seriousness of the situation and the impact of the Prime Minister's resignation on the King, setting up a pivotal moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Prime Minister's resignation and the implications for the King is compelling and sets up a significant turning point in the story.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in this scene is crucial, as it sets the stage for the King's greatest test and introduces a new level of conflict and uncertainty.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to historical events, portraying the internal struggles and moral dilemmas of political figures. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of the Prime Minister and the King are well-developed, with their emotions and motivations effectively portrayed in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both the Prime Minister and the King undergo changes in this scene, with the resignation marking a turning point in their respective journeys.

Internal Goal: 8

Baldwin's internal goal is to come to terms with his resignation and the realization of his mistake in underestimating Hitler. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and the fear of the consequences of his actions.

External Goal: 9

Baldwin's external goal is to inform the King of his resignation and the reasons behind it, as well as to warn him of the impending crisis and the need for strong leadership.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the Prime Minister's resignation and the King's uncertain future raises the stakes and adds tension to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Baldwin faces the consequences of his actions and the impending crisis, creating conflict and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the Prime Minister's resignation signals a potential crisis and sets the stage for the King's greatest test.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up the King's next challenge, driving the narrative towards a crucial moment.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected resignation of the Prime Minister and the revelation of Hitler's true intentions, creating tension and uncertainty.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Baldwin's belief in moral decency and his realization of the evil intentions of Hitler. This challenges his worldview and values, leading to his resignation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as the characters grapple with difficult decisions and the weight of their responsibilities.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue between the Prime Minister and the King is tense and impactful, conveying the gravity of the situation and the characters' inner turmoil.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional depth, and historical significance. The dialogue and character dynamics draw the audience in.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, building tension and emotional impact through the characters' dialogue and interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a pivotal moment in history, showcasing the tension between Bertie and Baldwin regarding the looming threat of war. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth. Baldwin's resignation is a significant moment, and his feelings of regret and concern could be expressed more vividly to enhance the gravity of the situation.
  • Bertie's response to Baldwin's resignation feels somewhat muted. Given the context of the conversation, it would be more impactful if Bertie expressed a stronger emotional reaction, perhaps showing his concern for the country or his own insecurities about leading during such a tumultuous time.
  • The pacing of the scene is relatively quick, which may not allow the audience to fully absorb the weight of Baldwin's resignation and the implications for Bertie. Slowing down the dialogue or incorporating pauses could help emphasize the tension and the seriousness of the conversation.
  • The visual elements of the scene are not described in detail. Adding specific visual cues, such as the setting of the meeting room, Baldwin's physical demeanor, or Bertie's posture, could enhance the audience's understanding of the emotional stakes at play.
  • The dialogue, while functional, lacks subtext. Both characters are aware of the implications of their words, but the scene could be enriched by incorporating more nuanced exchanges that hint at their deeper fears and hopes regarding the future.
Suggestions
  • Consider expanding Baldwin's dialogue to include more personal reflections on his resignation and the burden of leadership, which would add emotional weight to the scene.
  • Allow Bertie to express more vulnerability in his response to Baldwin's resignation. This could be achieved through a more heartfelt acknowledgment of the challenges ahead, perhaps reflecting on his own fears about being king.
  • Introduce pauses in the dialogue to create a more dramatic effect, allowing the audience to feel the tension and gravity of the moment.
  • Incorporate visual descriptions that convey the atmosphere of the meeting room, such as the decor, lighting, and the characters' physical states, to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Add layers of subtext to the dialogue, where both characters imply their fears and uncertainties about the future without stating them outright, creating a more engaging and thought-provoking exchange.



Scene 52 -  A Nation on the Brink
INT. LOGUE’S PARLOUR - DAY

The Logue family are sat around the wireless.

CHAMBERLAIN
I am speaking to you from the
cabinet room of 10 Downing Street.
(MORE)
79

CHAMBERLAIN (CONT'D)
This morning the British Ambassador
in Berlin handed the German
Government a final note stating
that unless we heard from them by
11 o’clock that they were prepared
at once to withdraw their troops
from Poland, a state of war would
exist between us. I have to tell
you now that no such undertaking
has been received, and that
consequently this country is at war
with Germany.


INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE, BERTIE’S STUDY - DAY

3rd September 1939. Bertie, in uniform, is at his desk going
through paperwork. HARDINGE, the King’s Private Secretary,
enters briskly.

HARDINGE
At last. Here it is. You are live
at six. I’ve timed it at just under
nine minutes. The wording is fully
approved. The Prime Minister will
be joining you for the broadcast
which will go out live to the
Nation, the Empire and to our Armed
Forces.

BERTIE
Get Logue here immediately.

Hardinge exits. Bertie is left contemplating the speech.
Nervous as hell.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary On September 3, 1939, the Logue family listens anxiously to Chamberlain's radio announcement declaring Britain at war with Germany. Meanwhile, at Buckingham Palace, Bertie prepares for a crucial live broadcast, feeling the weight of the moment as he dons his military uniform. His Private Secretary, Hardinge, briefs him on the speech, heightening Bertie's nerves about addressing the nation during this tense and somber time. The scene captures the collective anxiety of a country facing war and Bertie's personal struggle with the responsibilities of leadership.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character development
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of visual variety
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the situation, showcasing Bertie's internal struggle and the high stakes involved in his decision to address the nation about the declaration of war. The dialogue is impactful and the character dynamics are well-developed.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bertie facing a crucial decision amidst the declaration of war is compelling and drives the narrative forward. The scene effectively explores the internal conflict of duty versus personal fears, adding depth to Bertie's character.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around Bertie's decision to address the nation about the declaration of war, moving the story forward and adding significant development to the character and overall narrative. The stakes are high, and the outcome of Bertie's decision is crucial for the story.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on a familiar historical event, focusing on the personal struggles and internal conflicts of the characters rather than the broader political context. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Bertie, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their internal struggles and the complexities of their roles. The interactions between characters add depth and emotion to the scene, enhancing the overall impact.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes a significant character change in this scene, as he must confront his fears and make a difficult decision as a leader. The scene showcases his growth and development, setting the stage for further character evolution.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his nervousness and deliver a successful speech to the nation during a time of crisis. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation as a leader.

External Goal: 9

Bertie's external goal is to deliver a speech to the nation and reassure them during the outbreak of war. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as the King.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with Bertie facing internal and external conflicts as he prepares to address the nation about the declaration of war. The tension between duty and personal fears creates a compelling conflict that drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie facing internal doubts and external pressures to deliver a successful speech during a time of crisis.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, as Bertie must address the nation about the declaration of war with Germany, showcasing the weight of his responsibilities and the impact of his decision on the country. The outcome of this moment is crucial for the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a crucial moment in Bertie's journey as a king. The decision to address the nation about the declaration of war propels the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents a historical event from a personal and emotional perspective, adding layers of complexity and depth to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the duty of a leader to inspire and lead during times of crisis, contrasting with Bertie's personal fears and insecurities. This challenges his beliefs about his own capabilities and the expectations placed upon him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, nervousness, and empathy for Bertie as he grapples with his decision. The emotional depth of the characters and the gravity of the situation resonate with the audience, creating a powerful moment.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension and emotions of the characters, particularly Bertie, as he grapples with his decision. The formal and serious tone adds to the gravity of the situation, enhancing the overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the high-stakes political drama of the time, while also exploring the personal struggles and vulnerabilities of the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension and suspense leading up to Bertie's speech, creating a sense of urgency and importance that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive elements that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, building tension and conflict leading up to the pivotal moment of Bertie's speech. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from the previous moment of tension regarding the political climate to the personal stakes for Bertie as he prepares for a significant speech. However, the juxtaposition between the radio broadcast and Bertie's internal struggle could be more pronounced. The emotional weight of the war declaration could be mirrored in Bertie's physical reactions or thoughts, enhancing the dramatic tension.
  • The dialogue from Chamberlain is impactful, but it could benefit from a more personal touch. Instead of a straightforward announcement, consider incorporating a moment where the Logue family reacts to the news, showcasing their emotional response to the declaration of war. This would ground the political event in personal stakes and deepen the audience's connection to the characters.
  • Bertie's nervousness is established, but the scene could delve deeper into his internal conflict. Instead of simply stating he is 'nervous as hell,' consider using visual cues or internal monologue to illustrate his anxiety. This could include physical manifestations of his stress, such as fidgeting with objects on his desk or pacing, which would create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the radio broadcast to Bertie's preparation. Allowing for a moment of silence or reflection after the war declaration could heighten the gravity of the situation and give the audience time to absorb the implications before moving on to Bertie's preparations.
  • The introduction of Hardinge is functional but lacks depth. Consider giving him a line that reflects the gravity of the situation or his own feelings about the war declaration. This could add layers to his character and make the scene feel more dynamic.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate a brief reaction from the Logue family to Chamberlain's announcement, showcasing their emotional response to the declaration of war. This could help ground the political context in personal stakes.
  • Enhance Bertie's internal conflict by showing more of his physical reactions to his anxiety. Use visual storytelling techniques to illustrate his nervousness, such as close-ups of his hands or facial expressions.
  • Allow for a moment of silence or reflection after Chamberlain's announcement before transitioning to Bertie's preparations. This pause can heighten the emotional impact of the war declaration.
  • Add a line for Hardinge that reflects the seriousness of the situation, giving him more depth and making the scene feel more dynamic.
  • Consider using Bertie's internal monologue to express his fears and doubts about the upcoming speech, providing insight into his character and enhancing the audience's connection to him.



Scene 53 -  The King's Speech: A Moment of Preparation
INT. - LOGUE’S CAR - DAY

Laurie drives Logue. Out the window he sees sandbags being
piled round government buildings.

LIONEL
(peering up into the sky)
Look, there are the barrage
balloons. They got them up there
quickly.

An air raid siren is heard.

LAURIE
Should we pull over and find
shelter?
80


LOGUE
No, just go straight on. We’ll be
alright.

CUT TO:


INT./EXT. LOGUE’S CAR, OUTSIDE BUCKINGHAM PALACE

Logue’s ID is checked.


EXT. QUADRANGLE, BUCKINGHAM PALACE

Logue hurries into the Palace. The car pulls away.


INT. COATROOM, BUCKINGHAM PALACE

Logue hangs up umbrella, coat and gas mask.


INT. STAIRCASE, BUCKINGHAM PALACE

Logue is met on the stairs by Hardinge who hands him a
speech.

HARDINGE
The King’s Speech. We have about
forty minutes until the broadcast.

Lionel hurries up the stairs.


INT. BERTIE’S STUDY, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY

Bertie (dressed in his naval uniform) and Logue (dressed in
black tie) are rehearsing.

BERTIE
(stammering very badly)
“There may be dark days ahead, and
w-w-wa...”

LIONEL
Try again.

BERTIE
“There may be dark days ahead, and
w-... ”

LIONEL
Turn the hesitations into pauses,
and say to yourself, “God save the
King”.
81


BERTIE
I say that continually, but
apparently no one’s listening.

LIONEL
Long pauses are good: they add
solemnity to great occasions.

BERTIE
Then I’m the solemnest king who
ever lived. Lionel, I can’t do
this!

LIONEL
Bertie, you can do this!

BERTIE
If I am to be King...where is my
power? May I form a Government,
levy a tax or declare a war? No!
Yet I am the seat of all authority.
Why? Because the Nation believes
when I speak, I speak for them. Yet
I cannot speak!

As though none of this had happened:

LIONEL
Let’s take it from the top. “In
this grave hour...”

BERTIE
(hesitates, then)
“In this grave hour fuck fuck fuck
perhaps the most fateful in our
history bugger shit shit (singing)
I send to every household of my p-p-
The letter‘P’ is always difficult.

LIONEL
Bounce onto it ‘a-peoples both at
home and’

BERTIE
“a-peoples both at home and
overseas,...”

LIONEL
Beaut.

BERTIE
(singing)
“... this message, doo-dah, doo-
dah....spoken with the same depth
of feeling...for each one of you as
if I were to fuck shit bugger cross
your threshold and speak to you m-
my - ...”
82


LIONEL
In your head, now: “I have a right
to be bloody well heard!”

BERTIE
Bloody well heard, bloody well
heard, bloody well heard myself!

LIONEL
Now Waltz. Move! Get continuous
movement.

BERTIE
(waltzing and singing)
“For the second time in the lives
of most of us we are at wa - ...”

Bertie jams and comes to a halt.

LIONEL
Pause. “we are...” Take a pause.

BERTIE
I can’t do this.

LIONEL
Bertie, you can do it. Have a look
at the last paragraph.

ELIZABETH
Bertie...it’s time.

Bertie and Lionel glance at each other.

Bertie approaches the door.

He pauses.

Down a long perspective of rooms we see ahead the waiting
microphone.

Like a tunnel. Like Wembley.

Bertie begins the long walk, flanked by his wife and his
speech specialist.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a tense atmosphere as the city braces for an air raid, Lionel Logue drives to Buckingham Palace with Laurie, determined to prepare Bertie for his upcoming speech. After a brief check-in with Hardinge, Logue and Bertie rehearse, with Bertie struggling against his stammer and feelings of inadequacy as king. Logue encourages him to embrace his authority and turn hesitations into pauses. As the moment approaches, Bertie, supported by Logue and his wife Elizabeth, prepares to face the microphone, symbolizing his challenge ahead.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Supportive dynamic between characters
Weaknesses
  • Repetitive nature of Bertie's speech struggles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, emotionally impactful, and crucial for character development. It effectively conveys the internal conflict and growth of Bertie, setting the stage for his pivotal moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bertie's speech rehearsal is crucial to the overall story, showcasing his journey to overcome his speech impediment and fulfill his role as king. The scene effectively explores themes of self-doubt, determination, and the power of support.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around Bertie's rehearsal for his upcoming speech, highlighting his internal struggles and the support he receives from Lionel. It moves the story forward by setting up the climactic moment of Bertie's broadcast.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on historical events, blending humor with the seriousness of the wartime setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene focuses heavily on the characters of Bertie and Lionel, delving into their complex relationship and the growth they experience together. Bertie's vulnerability and determination, along with Lionel's guidance and support, are central to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes significant character growth in the scene, facing his fears and doubts while striving to overcome his speech impediment. The scene sets the stage for his transformation and development throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal is to overcome his speech impediment and gain confidence in his ability to speak publicly. This reflects his deeper need for self-acceptance and the desire to fulfill his role as King effectively.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to deliver a speech to the nation during a time of crisis, showcasing his leadership and ability to inspire confidence. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in fulfilling his duties as King.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and self-doubt. The tension arises from his fear of not being able to fulfill his role as king, adding depth to the emotional stakes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Bertie's own self-doubt and speech impediment, creating a challenge that adds depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Bertie prepares to address the nation and overcome his speech impediment. The outcome of his rehearsal and the upcoming broadcast have significant implications for his role as king and the future of the monarchy.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Bertie's preparation for his broadcast and the internal struggles he faces. It sets up the climactic moment of the speech, advancing the narrative and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected humor and vulnerability displayed by the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's self-doubt and Lionel's belief in his ability to overcome his speech impediment. This challenges Bertie's beliefs about his own capabilities and the expectations placed upon him as King.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing the audience into Bertie's vulnerability and determination. The emotional depth of the characters and the supportive dynamic between Bertie and Lionel create a poignant and moving moment.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys Bertie's speech impediment and his emotional struggle, as well as the supportive and encouraging words from Lionel. The dialogue enhances the character development and emotional depth of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines tension, humor, and emotional depth, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and triumphs.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a climactic moment as Bertie prepares to deliver his speech.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events leading to the climax of Bertie's speech rehearsal.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of the moment as Bertie prepares for a significant speech. The use of dialogue between Bertie and Lionel showcases their dynamic, with Lionel's encouragement contrasting with Bertie's self-doubt. However, the pacing could be improved; the scene feels slightly rushed, especially in the transitions between locations. This could be enhanced by allowing more time for Bertie's internal struggle to resonate with the audience.
  • The dialogue is engaging and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly Bertie's frustration and Lionel's unwavering support. However, some of the humor, such as Bertie's singing and swearing, while entertaining, may detract from the gravity of the situation. Balancing the comedic elements with the serious context of the impending war could strengthen the emotional impact.
  • The visual elements, such as the long perspective of rooms leading to the microphone, are effective in creating a sense of foreboding and anticipation. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive imagery to enhance the atmosphere. For instance, incorporating sensory details about the environment, such as the sounds of the air raid siren or the tension in the air, would immerse the audience further into the moment.
  • Bertie's internal conflict about his power as king is a strong thematic element, but it could be explored more deeply. The scene hints at his feelings of inadequacy, yet it doesn't fully delve into the implications of his stammer on his identity as a leader. Expanding on this internal struggle could add depth to Bertie's character and make his eventual triumph more impactful.
  • The transition from rehearsal to the moment before the speech is well-executed, but the emotional stakes could be heightened. Adding a moment of silence or a reflective pause before Bertie approaches the microphone could amplify the tension and allow the audience to feel the weight of the moment alongside him.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing in certain areas to allow for more emotional resonance, particularly during Bertie's internal struggle with his speech impediment.
  • Balance the comedic elements with the serious context by ensuring that humor does not overshadow the gravity of the situation. This could involve reducing the frequency of humorous lines during the rehearsal.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the air raid siren and the palpable tension in the air as Bertie prepares to speak.
  • Explore Bertie's internal conflict regarding his power as king more deeply, perhaps through additional dialogue or internal monologue that reflects on his feelings of inadequacy and the implications of his stammer.
  • Add a moment of silence or reflection before Bertie approaches the microphone to heighten the emotional stakes and allow the audience to fully grasp the significance of the moment.



Scene 54 -  Facing the Microphone
INT. STATE ROOMS, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - CONTINUOUS

Bertie, Lionel, and Elizabeth walk towards the microphone.

A corgi barks as they approach.

The first room has a large speaker and chairs arranged for
listening to the broadcast. Lang, Prime Minister Neville
Chamberlain and Churchill are in attendance.
83


BERTIE
Prime Minister. Nice to see you
again, so soon. Good of you to be
here, I’m sure you’ve had rather a
busy day.

CHAMBERLAIN
Let’s hope we have no more
interruptions from those damned
sirens, Sir.

BERTIE
Or the wretched dogs.
(to Churchill)
Congratulations. First Lord of the
Admiralty.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Your Majesty.

BERTIE
(nodding towards the
recording room)
The long walk.

Churchill detaches himself from Lang and walks with Bertie.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Good luck, Sir. I too dread
this...apparatus. Had a speech
impediment myself, you know.

BERTIE
I didn’t.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Family secret. Tongue-tied. An
operation was considered too
dangerous. I eventually made an
asset of it.

A moment of silent recognition between the two men.

BERTIE
Thank you, Mr Churchill.

Churchill nods, then goes to his seat, as Bertie passes into
the next room.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
How long, Logue?

LIONEL
Just under three minutes, Sir.

Ahead is the microphone set up on a grand desk in a
beautifully ornate state room.
84


Next to it is now revealed a stills camera and lights - all
set for a photo op.

Bertie, Logue and Elizabeth, ignoring it, pass right by, turn
a corner and we now see a perspective of much smaller rooms
leading to a microphone framed in a doorway, hung at head
height. A tumble of cables stretch through the rooms.

We pass through two rooms of audio equipment with eight
technicians all wearing black tie, all set for the broadcast.

Bertie’s tension builds.

At the door to the broadcasting booth he is met by the BBC’s
Wood.

Bertie greets him

BERTIE
Mr Wood.

WOOD
Good luck, Your Majesty.

Logue, Bertie and Elizabeth enter the booth.
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In the ornate state rooms of Buckingham Palace, Bertie, Lionel, and Elizabeth approach the microphone for a significant broadcast. They encounter Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, who expresses hope for a smooth transmission, and Winston Churchill, who shares a personal story about his own speech impediment, creating a moment of connection with Bertie. As Bertie's anxiety about the speech looms, Lionel provides support by updating him on the time left before they enter the booth. The scene captures the tension and camaraderie among the characters as they prepare to face the microphone.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
  • Historical authenticity
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Lack of action sequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and sets the stage for a crucial moment in the story. The interactions between characters are well-crafted, and the stakes are high, adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Bertie's struggle to overcome his speech impediment and fulfill his duties as king during a critical period. It effectively explores themes of leadership, support, and personal growth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene advances the story by showcasing Bertie's internal and external challenges as he prepares for the broadcast. It sets up important character dynamics and foreshadows key events to come.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on historical figures and events, blending authenticity with creative storytelling. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Bertie, Lionel, and political figures like Chamberlain and Churchill, are well-developed and contribute to the overall tension and drama. Their interactions reveal insights into their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

Bertie undergoes significant character development in the scene, as he confronts his fears and prepares to address the nation. His interactions with Lionel and political leaders also hint at potential growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his speech impediment and deliver a successful broadcast. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and confidence.

External Goal: 7

Bertie's external goal is to deliver a successful broadcast to boost morale during a challenging time. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the impending war.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Bertie grapples with his speech impediment and the pressure of the broadcast. There is also tension surrounding his relationships with key figures like Lionel and political leaders.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Bertie's own speech impediment and the pressure to deliver a successful broadcast.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Bertie faces the challenge of delivering a crucial broadcast during a time of national crisis. The outcome of his speech could have significant consequences for his reign and the country.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up key conflicts, relationships, and events that will impact the narrative. It foreshadows important developments and builds anticipation for future plot twists.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of how Bertie will overcome his speech impediment and deliver a successful broadcast.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between personal limitations and societal expectations. Bertie's speech impediment challenges his belief in his ability to lead effectively.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, as it conveys Bertie's anxiety and determination to overcome his challenges. The supportive interactions between characters evoke empathy and investment in Bertie's journey.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is formal and reflective of the historical setting. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, relationships, and the high stakes of the moment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the tension and anticipation leading up to Bertie's broadcast, as well as the dynamic interactions between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic moment with Bertie's broadcast.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for historical dramas, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension as Bertie approaches the microphone, mirroring his internal struggle with public speaking. The use of familiar characters like Churchill and Chamberlain adds depth and context to the moment, grounding it in historical significance.
  • The dialogue flows naturally, with Churchill's anecdote about his own speech impediment serving as a moment of connection between him and Bertie. This exchange not only humanizes Churchill but also reinforces the theme of overcoming personal challenges, which is central to Bertie's journey.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere. While the dialogue is strong, the visuals are somewhat generic. Describing the ornate details of the state room or the expressions of the characters could heighten the emotional stakes.
  • The pacing feels slightly rushed as Bertie transitions from one room to another. This could be an opportunity to delve deeper into his thoughts and feelings, perhaps through internal monologue or visual cues that reflect his anxiety as he approaches the microphone.
  • The presence of the technicians and the audio equipment is mentioned but not fully utilized. Incorporating their reactions or the sounds of the equipment could amplify the tension and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Add more descriptive visuals to the scene, focusing on the ornate details of the state room and the expressions of the characters to enhance the emotional impact.
  • Consider incorporating Bertie's internal thoughts or feelings as he walks towards the microphone, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his anxiety and anticipation.
  • Utilize the presence of the technicians and audio equipment more effectively by describing their reactions or the sounds they make, which could heighten the tension and create a more immersive atmosphere.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly during the transition between rooms to allow for more character interaction and reflection, giving the audience a moment to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Explore the dynamics between Bertie, Logue, and Elizabeth more deeply in this scene, perhaps through subtle gestures or exchanges that highlight their support for him as he prepares to speak.



Scene 55 -  On Air: The Weight of Words
INT. BROADCASTING BOOTH - DAY

The dreaded BBC microphone, in a surprisingly small room. It
is arranged so Bertie can stand up as he speaks, the way
Logue likes it. The ceiling has been lowered and it has been
decorated in cheerful colours. As a podium for the speech an
old school desk has been propped up on wooden blocks so it’s
the right height for Bertie.

Logue immediately opens the window to get the air
circulating.

Bertie says nothing, but goes up and inspects the looming
microphone.

He spreads the fingers of one hand, touches the apparatus
with the little finger, thumb to chin.

BERTIE
I am thistle sifter, I have a sieve
of sifted thistles and a sieve on
unsifted thistles..

ELIZABETH
Bertie, darling, make sure it’s not
switched on!
85


LIONEL
Remember the red light will blink
three times and then I’ve asked
them to turn it off, because we
don’t want that evil eye staring at
you all the way through.

ELIZABETH
I am sure you will be splendid.

WOOD
One minute, sir.

Elizabeth steps back with a wonderful smile as Wood closes
the door, sealing Bertie and Logue in the booth.

BERTIE
No matter how this turns out, I
don’t know how to thank you for
what you’ve done.

LIONEL
Knighthood?

They smile.

WOOD (O.S.)
Twenty seconds.

LIONEL
Forget everything else and just say
it to me. Say it to me, as a
friend.

The red light in the booth flashes.

The red light flashes for the second time.

Bertie concentrates.

The red light flashes for the third time.

The red light now goes steady red.

Lionel opens his arms wide and mouths, “Breathe!”.

On Air.

Bertie’s hands begin to shake, the pages of his speech rattle
like dry leaves, his throat muscles constrict, the Adam’s
apple bulges, his lips tighten...all the old symptoms
reappear.

Several seconds have elapsed. It seems an eternity.
86
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary In a small, brightly decorated broadcasting booth, Bertie prepares to deliver a speech while grappling with intense anxiety. With the support of Logue, who encourages him to focus on their friendship, and Elizabeth, who reassures him, Bertie practices tongue twisters. As the countdown to the broadcast begins, the tension escalates, and Bertie's physical symptoms of anxiety worsen. The scene culminates with the red light signaling they are 'On Air,' leaving Bertie visibly struggling as he faces his fears.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, showcasing Bertie's internal turmoil and the supportive dynamic between him and Logue. The tension and emotional depth make it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and the pivotal moment of his broadcast is compelling and well-developed, adding depth to his character and the overall narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in this scene is crucial as it leads to a significant moment in Bertie's journey towards overcoming his speech impediment and fulfilling his role as king.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring themes of vulnerability, leadership, and personal growth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie and Logue, are well-developed and their relationship is central to the scene. Their emotional connection and support for each other drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes significant emotional growth and determination in this scene as he faces his fears and prepares to deliver his speech, showcasing his resilience and inner strength.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his speech impediment and deliver a successful speech. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of failure and public humiliation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to deliver a successful speech to inspire and reassure the people of Britain during a time of crisis. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in fulfilling his duties as a leader.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between Bertie's speech impediment and the pressure of the broadcast creates a tense and dramatic atmosphere, driving the emotional intensity of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external obstacles that challenge his ability to deliver a successful speech.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Bertie prepares to deliver a crucial broadcast despite his speech impediment, facing the pressure of public scrutiny and the weight of his royal responsibilities.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Bertie's personal journey and the challenges he must overcome as king. It sets the stage for his character development and the broader narrative.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because it keeps the audience guessing about the outcome of the protagonist's speech and the internal struggles he faces.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between personal vulnerability and public duty. The protagonist must confront his own insecurities and fears while also fulfilling his responsibilities as a leader.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking empathy for Bertie's struggles and the supportive relationship between him and Logue. The vulnerability and tension are palpable.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and the high stakes of the situation. It effectively showcases Bertie's struggle and Logue's supportive role.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and emotional investment in the protagonist's journey to overcome his speech impediment and deliver a successful speech.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, contributing to its effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's internal and external struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy character-driven scene, enhancing the readability and flow of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, following the expected format for a character-driven drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension as Bertie prepares to deliver his speech, capturing the anxiety and pressure he feels. The use of physical symptoms, such as shaking hands and constricted throat, vividly illustrates his internal struggle, making it relatable for the audience.
  • The dialogue is concise and serves to establish the relationships between the characters. Bertie's gratitude towards Logue and the light-hearted banter about a knighthood adds depth to their bond, showcasing the support system around Bertie.
  • The visual elements, such as the cheerful colors of the booth and the makeshift podium, contrast with the gravity of the moment, creating an interesting juxtaposition. However, the description could be enhanced by including more sensory details to immerse the audience further into the atmosphere.
  • The pacing of the scene is effective, with the countdown from Wood adding urgency. However, the transition from the light-hearted moment to the intense pressure of the speech could be more pronounced to heighten the emotional stakes.
  • The use of the red light as a signal is a clever device that adds to the tension. However, it might be beneficial to explore Bertie's thoughts or fears in a more explicit manner, perhaps through internal monologue or flashbacks, to deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the environment, such as sounds from outside the booth or the feel of the microphone, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Explore Bertie's internal thoughts more explicitly, perhaps through brief internal monologues or flashbacks that highlight his fears or past experiences with public speaking, to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Enhance the transition between the light-hearted banter and the serious moment of the speech by incorporating a moment of silence or a shared glance between characters that conveys the weight of the situation.
  • Introduce a moment where Bertie physically prepares himself, such as taking a deep breath or adjusting his posture, to visually signify his attempt to overcome his anxiety before speaking.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of hesitation or doubt from Bertie just before the red light goes steady, which could heighten the tension and make his eventual success feel even more triumphant.



Scene 56 -  A Voice for the Nation
INT. CONTROL ROOM, BBC BROADCASTING HOUSE - DAY

The technicians in their suits, ties and scientific looking
white overcoats, wearing bulky headphones, monitoring
daunting banks of valves and dials listen with growing
apprehension to the silence broken only by crackling static.


INT. KING’S STUDY/BROADCAST ROOM, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY

The tension is more than palpable.

Bertie and Logue stare at each other.

Logue smiles, perfectly calm, totally confident in the man
he’s worked with. His confidence is contagious.

Bertie takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. His throat
muscles relax, his hands steady - all the things he’s
practiced.

BERTIE
In this grave hour, perhaps the
most fateful in our history, I send
to every household of my peoples,
both at home and overseas this
message spoken with the same depth
of feeling for each one of you as
if I were able to cross your
threshold and speak to you myself.

His cadence is slow and measured, not flawless, but he does
not stop.


INT - STATE ROOMS - DAY

In the listening room:

Elizabeth grasps the sides of her chair and then slowly
relaxes as Bertie’s calm, measure voice comes over the
speakers.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense atmosphere at the BBC Broadcasting House, technicians monitor static as King Bertie prepares to address the nation with the support of his speech therapist, Logue. With deep breaths and measured cadence, Bertie delivers a heartfelt message, overcoming his speech impediment. Meanwhile, Queen Elizabeth listens intently, visibly relaxing as she connects with her husband's voice, marking a moment of unity and reassurance.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Tension-building
  • Emotional depth
  • Historical context
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some technical aspects

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, with a high level of tension, emotional depth, and character development. The execution is strong, and the dialogue is impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bertie overcoming his speech impediment and delivering a crucial speech is compelling and well-developed.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene, setting up the climax of Bertie's speech and showcasing the challenges he faces.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to historical events by focusing on the personal struggles and growth of a king with a speech impediment. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters, especially Bertie and Logue, are well-developed and show growth and depth in this scene. Their interactions are central to the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes significant character growth as he faces his fears and gains confidence with Logue's support.

Internal Goal: 9

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to deliver a message to his people with confidence and composure, despite his speech impediment. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, validation, and leadership.

External Goal: 8

Bertie's external goal is to deliver a message to his people during a critical moment in history, showcasing his leadership and strength as a king.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Bertie's self-doubt and the pressure of the situation creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bertie's speech impediment and the high stakes of the message delivery creating obstacles for him to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Bertie prepares to deliver a speech during a critical moment in history, with the fate of the nation at hand.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Bertie's journey towards delivering a crucial speech and facing his challenges.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the uncertainty of Bertie's speech delivery and the emotional impact it has on the characters and audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bertie's struggle with his speech impediment and his desire to inspire and lead his people. It challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and the expectations of a king.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, especially as Bertie prepares to deliver his speech and overcomes his fears.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is impactful, revealing character emotions, relationships, and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, tension, and emotional depth of the characters. The audience is invested in Bertie's struggle and growth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotion gradually, leading to a climactic speech delivery.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup of tension, character interactions, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and anxiety surrounding Bertie's speech, which is crucial given the historical context of Britain declaring war. The juxtaposition of the technicians' apprehension in the control room with Bertie's internal struggle creates a palpable sense of urgency.
  • Bertie's dialogue is powerful and reflective of his character's growth, showcasing his determination to connect with the nation despite his speech impediment. However, the line could benefit from a slight adjustment to enhance its emotional weight. The phrase 'this message spoken with the same depth of feeling' feels somewhat formal and could be rephrased to sound more personal and heartfelt.
  • Logue's calm demeanor serves as a strong contrast to Bertie's anxiety, effectively illustrating the supportive dynamic between the two characters. However, the scene could further emphasize this relationship by including a brief moment of physical reassurance, such as Logue placing a hand on Bertie's shoulder or giving him a nod of encouragement before he begins to speak.
  • The transition between the control room and the King's study is smooth, but the visual descriptions could be more vivid. For instance, describing the physical environment of the King's study—its decor, the weight of the moment—could enhance the atmosphere and immerse the audience further into the scene.
  • The scene ends with Elizabeth's reaction to Bertie's voice, which is a nice touch, but it could be strengthened by showing her emotional journey more explicitly. Perhaps a close-up on her face as she listens could convey her relief and pride more effectively, allowing the audience to feel her connection to Bertie's moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider rephrasing Bertie's line to make it sound more personal and heartfelt, perhaps by using simpler language that reflects his character's vulnerability.
  • Add a moment of physical reassurance from Logue to Bertie before he begins speaking, such as a supportive gesture or a few encouraging words, to further highlight their bond.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the King's study to create a more immersive atmosphere, focusing on details that reflect the gravity of the moment.
  • Include a close-up shot of Elizabeth's face as she listens to Bertie's speech, capturing her emotional response to his words and reinforcing the connection between them.
  • Explore the use of sound design in the scene, such as the contrast between the static in the control room and the clarity of Bertie's voice, to heighten the emotional impact of the moment.



Scene 57 -  A Call to Unity
INT./EXT. MONTAGE OF VARIOUS LOCATIONS

The assembled dignitaries at Buckingham Palace, Myrtle with
two of the boys, people listening to radios in homes, pubs,
factories. A group of soldiers, including Antony Logue. Queen
Mary sitting in her State Apartments, David and Wallis
listening dolefully in a villa in the South of France, the
crowds assembled outside Buckingham Palace, listening on loud
speakers. Cutting continually back to Bertie as he grows in
confidence

BERTIE (V.O. ON RADIO)
For the second time in the lives of
most of us we are at war.
(MORE)
87

BERTIE (V.O. ON RADIO) (CONT'D)
Over and over again we have tried
to find a peaceful way out of the
differences between ourselves and
those who are now our enemies. But
it has been in vain. We have been
forced into a conflict. For we are
called, with our allies, to meet
the challenge of a principle which,
if it were to prevail, would be
fatal to any civilized order in the
world. Such a principle, stripped
of all disguise, is surely the mere
primitive doctrine that might is
right. For the sake of all that we
ourselves hold dear, and of the
world’s order and peace, it is
unthinkable that we should refuse
to meet the challenge. It is to
this high purpose that I now call
my people at home and my peoples
across the seas, who will make our
cause their own. I ask them to
stand calm and firm, and united in
this time of trial. The task will
be hard. There may be dark days
ahead, and war can no longer be
confined to the battlefield. But we
can only do the right as we see the
right and reverently commit our
cause to God.


INT. BROADCASTING BOOTH, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - CONTINUOUS

Bertie, in his quiet way is totally in command, and utterly
magnificent. Everyone in the room is awed as he concludes:

BERTIE (CONT’D)
If one and all we keep resolutely
faithful to it, then, with God’s
help, we shall prevail.


INT. STATE ROOMS, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - CONTINUOUS

In the listening room we see the elated faces of Elizabeth,
Churchill, Lang.
Genres: ["Historical Drama","War"]

Summary In a powerful radio address from Buckingham Palace, Bertie speaks to the nation about the impending war, urging unity against tyranny. The montage captures the reactions of various individuals, including dignitaries, soldiers, and families, all listening intently. As Bertie's confidence grows, so does the sense of duty and hope among the audience. The scene concludes with the uplifting reactions of Elizabeth, Churchill, and Lang, reflecting the impact of his inspiring words.
Strengths
  • Powerful and moving speech by King Bertie
  • Emotional resonance and inspiration
  • Character growth and development
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally resonant, and pivotal in the story, setting the tone for the challenges ahead. The delivery of the speech is compelling and inspiring, capturing the essence of leadership and duty.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around Bertie's transformation into a confident leader during a time of crisis, emphasizing the power of words and the responsibility of leadership.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene focuses on Bertie's pivotal moment of addressing the nation during wartime, moving the story forward and highlighting the challenges he faces as a king.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of war, focusing on the personal and emotional impact on the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially King Bertie, are well-developed and undergo significant growth in this scene, showcasing their resilience and determination in the face of adversity.

Character Changes: 9

King Bertie undergoes a significant character change in this scene, transforming from a hesitant and insecure leader to a confident and resolute king, showcasing his growth and development.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to inspire and unite his people in the face of war. This reflects his deeper desire for peace, stability, and the well-being of his country.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a powerful and inspiring speech to rally his people for the upcoming challenges of war.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is a sense of external conflict due to the wartime setting, the main focus is on Bertie's internal struggle and growth, leading to a resolution and a sense of purpose.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the impending war and the challenges it presents, creating uncertainty and tension for the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Bertie addresses the nation during wartime, facing immense pressure and responsibility as a leader, with the outcome having far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting Bertie's leadership qualities, setting the stage for the challenges ahead, and shaping the narrative towards the wartime context.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of how the characters will respond to the impending war and the challenges they will face.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between the principles of peace and the necessity of war. Bertie grapples with the idea of might is right and the need to defend what is right and just.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of patriotism, pride, and inspiration as Bertie delivers his powerful speech, connecting with the audience on a deep level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful and poignant, especially during Bertie's speech, conveying a sense of duty, patriotism, and resolve. The interactions between characters also add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional depth, and powerful dialogue that captivates the audience.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a powerful climax with Bertie's speech.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and emotion leading up to the climax of Bertie's speech.


Critique
  • The montage effectively captures the widespread impact of Bertie's speech, showcasing various locations and characters, which helps to convey the gravity of the moment. However, the transitions between these locations could be more fluid to enhance the emotional resonance. Consider using visual motifs or thematic elements that connect the different settings, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Bertie's voiceover is powerful and poignant, but it could benefit from a more personal touch. While the speech addresses the nation, incorporating specific references to the people or communities affected by the war could deepen the emotional connection. This would allow the audience to feel the weight of his words more profoundly.
  • The scene's pacing is generally effective, but the montage could be tightened to maintain momentum. Some shots linger longer than necessary, which may detract from the urgency of the moment. Consider trimming or rearranging certain visuals to keep the focus on Bertie's growing confidence and the reactions of those listening.
  • The contrast between Bertie's commanding presence in the broadcasting booth and the various reactions from the audience is well-executed. However, the emotional responses of the characters could be more varied. For instance, while Elizabeth, Churchill, and Lang are elated, including a few contrasting reactions from other listeners could add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • The final lines of Bertie's speech are impactful, but the transition from his voiceover to the visual reactions could be more dramatic. Consider using a crescendo in the audio or a visual cue that emphasizes the climax of his speech, enhancing the emotional payoff as the audience reacts.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the transitions between locations in the montage by using visual motifs or thematic elements that connect the different settings, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Incorporate specific references to the people or communities affected by the war in Bertie's voiceover to deepen the emotional connection and allow the audience to feel the weight of his words more profoundly.
  • Tighten the pacing of the montage by trimming or rearranging certain visuals to maintain momentum and keep the focus on Bertie's growing confidence and the reactions of those listening.
  • Introduce a wider range of emotional responses from the audience, including contrasting reactions, to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Use a crescendo in the audio or a visual cue to emphasize the climax of Bertie's speech, enhancing the emotional payoff as the audience reacts.



Scene 58 -  A Triumph in the Booth
INT. CONTROL ROOM, BBC BROADCASTING HOUSE - DAY

Technicians break in to spontaneous applause.


INT. BROADCASTING BOOTH, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - CONTINUOUS

Lionel and Bertie stare at each other.
88


Silence.

LIONEL
That was very good, Bertie.

Lionel closes the window.

LIONEL (CONT’D)
You still stammered on the “w”.

BERTIE
Had to throw in a few so they knew
it was me.

Wood opens the door.

WOOD
Congratulations, your Majesty. A
true broadcaster.

BERTIE
Thank you, Mr Wood.

Bertie and Lionel pass out of the booth to the sounds of
applause.

They pause at the desk, which is set up with a microphone.

Bertie sits and has his official photograph taken.

LIONEL
Your first war time speech.
Congratulations.

BERTIE
Expect I shall have to do a great
deal more. Thank you, Logue.

Bertie stands and takes Lionel’s hand

BERTIE (CONT’D)
Thank you. My friend.

LIONEL
Thank you... Your Majesty.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the control room of BBC Broadcasting House, technicians applaud Bertie's successful wartime speech. In the broadcasting booth at Buckingham Palace, Bertie shares a moment of silence with Lionel, who praises his performance despite a minor stammer. Wood enters to congratulate Bertie, who acknowledges the praise. After a photo session, Bertie expresses gratitude to Lionel for his support, recognizing the expectation of more speeches ahead. Their heartfelt exchange highlights their friendship as they exit the booth amidst applause.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, showcasing Bertie's growth and determination. The dialogue is impactful, and the execution of the pivotal moment is well done.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Bertie overcoming his stammer to deliver a wartime speech is compelling and drives the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in this scene is significant as it marks a turning point for Bertie's character development and sets the stage for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events, portraying the personal struggles of a king in a time of crisis with authenticity and depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bertie and Lionel, are well-developed and their relationship is central to the scene's impact.

Character Changes: 9

Bertie undergoes significant character development in this scene, showing growth and determination in overcoming his stammer.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to overcome his stammer and deliver a successful speech. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of failure and judgment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a successful wartime speech to boost morale. This reflects the immediate challenge of fulfilling his duty as a leader during a time of crisis.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is internal conflict for Bertie in overcoming his stammer, the external conflict is minimal in this scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Bertie's internal struggles and the external pressure of delivering a wartime speech.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Bertie must deliver a crucial wartime speech, showcasing his ability to lead during a challenging time.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Bertie's progression and setting the stage for future events in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional depth and character revelations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Bertie's personal struggles with his stammer and the expectations of his role as a king. This challenges his beliefs about his own abilities and the public perception of him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as the audience witnesses Bertie's struggle and eventual success in delivering the speech.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is poignant and drives the emotional depth of the scene, particularly in Bertie and Lionel's interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional stakes, character dynamics, and the tension of the wartime setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional resonance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the relief and joy following Bertie's successful speech, which is a pivotal moment in the narrative. However, the transition from the applause in the control room to the intimate moment between Bertie and Lionel could be more fluid. The abrupt shift in focus might benefit from a brief moment that bridges the two locations, perhaps by including a line of dialogue or a visual cue that emphasizes the connection between the technicians' applause and Bertie's emotional state.
  • The dialogue between Bertie and Lionel is light and humorous, which is a nice touch, but it could delve deeper into their relationship. While the acknowledgment of the stammer adds a layer of authenticity, it might be more impactful if Bertie expressed a bit more vulnerability or relief about overcoming his anxiety. This would enhance the emotional weight of the moment and provide a stronger contrast to the earlier tension.
  • The scene lacks a strong visual element that could enhance the emotional resonance. For instance, incorporating close-ups of Bertie's expressions or the reactions of the technicians could amplify the sense of triumph and camaraderie. Additionally, a wider shot of the control room filled with applause could visually represent the collective relief and joy of the moment.
  • The ending feels somewhat abrupt. While the exchange between Bertie and Lionel is heartfelt, it could benefit from a more definitive conclusion that encapsulates the significance of this moment in Bertie's journey. Perhaps a line that hints at the challenges ahead or a shared look of determination could provide a more satisfying closure to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a transitional moment that connects the applause in the control room to Bertie's emotional state in the broadcasting booth, such as a line from Lionel that reflects on the significance of the moment.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Bertie and Lionel by allowing Bertie to express more vulnerability or relief about his performance, which would deepen their emotional connection.
  • Incorporate more visual elements, such as close-ups of Bertie's face and the technicians' reactions, to heighten the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Revise the ending to include a line or action that hints at the challenges Bertie will face moving forward, providing a stronger sense of closure and continuity in his character arc.



Scene 59 -  A Moment of Triumph
INT. STATE ROOMS, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - CONTINUOUS

Bertie heads towards the listening room.

Elizabeth goes to Bertie and kisses him tenderly on the
cheek.

ELIZABETH
(whispered, emotional)
I knew you’d be good.
89


Elizabeth looks at Lionel.

ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
Thank you...
(for the first time)
...Lionel.

BERTIE
Onwards?

Bertie continues on, and is greeted by Lang, Churchill and
Chamberlain.

WINSTON CHURCHILL
Couldn’t have said it better
myself, Sir

The ultimate Churchillian compliment. Lang next.

COSMO LANG
Your Majesty, I’m speechless.

CHAMBERLAIN
Congratulations, Sir

BERTIE
Thank you, Gentlemen.

Bertie sweeps Lillibet into his arms.

BERTIE (CONT’D)
So how was Papa?

LILLIBET
Halting at first, but you got much
better Papa.

He kisses her.

BERTIE
Bless you.
(picking Margaret up)
And how about you?

MARGARET
You were just splendid, Papa.

BERTIE
Of course I was.

Bertie readies himself to step out on to the balcony; waiting
crowds are glimpsed through the windows.

Across the room, Bertie’s eyes meet Logue’s. A brief nod. A
moment of recognition.
90
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the state rooms of Buckingham Palace, Bertie receives emotional support from Elizabeth, who kisses him tenderly and thanks Lionel for his help. He is congratulated by Churchill, Lang, and Chamberlain, while sharing affectionate moments with his daughters, Lillibet and Margaret, who praise his performance. As he prepares to address the crowd from the balcony, Bertie shares a meaningful glance with Lionel Logue, highlighting their bond and the journey they've undertaken together.
Strengths
  • Authentic emotional moments
  • Genuine dialogue
  • Character relationships
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of emotional depth and gratitude among the characters, setting a tone of respect and support. The dialogue and interactions feel genuine and heartfelt, adding to the overall impact of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a heartfelt reunion between the characters in a royal setting is engaging and well-executed. The scene effectively explores themes of respect, gratitude, and support.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the emotional connection between the characters, moving the story forward by deepening their relationships and highlighting their personal dynamics.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on royal dynamics, showcasing the vulnerability and humanity of the protagonist amidst a formal setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with authentic emotions and interactions that resonate with the audience. Their personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the emotional connection and gratitude displayed by the characters deepen their relationships and add layers to their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to receive validation and support from his loved ones after a challenging moment. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, love, and reassurance in the face of his insecurities and doubts.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain composure and grace in front of his peers and subjects, showcasing his leadership and strength in a public setting.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 2

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing instead on emotional reunion and gratitude among the characters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle, with characters offering support and validation to the protagonist rather than presenting significant obstacles. This adds a layer of tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on emotional connection and gratitude than on high-stakes conflicts or decisions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by strengthening the relationships between the characters and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the subtle shifts in character dynamics and the underlying tension between the protagonist's public and private personas.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's public persona as a king and his private struggles as a man. This challenges his beliefs about duty, identity, and vulnerability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of warmth, respect, and gratitude among the characters and resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is heartfelt and genuine, reflecting the characters' emotions and relationships. It effectively conveys respect, gratitude, and support among the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character dynamics, and subtle tension. The interactions between characters draw the audience in and create a sense of intimacy.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing emotional moments with dialogue and action, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional aftermath of Bertie's successful speech, showcasing the support from his family and colleagues. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity to enhance character depth and emotional resonance. For instance, instead of simply saying 'I knew you’d be good,' Elizabeth could express a more personal sentiment that reflects her understanding of Bertie's struggles.
  • The interactions between Bertie and his daughters are heartwarming, but they feel somewhat formulaic. Adding unique, character-specific responses from Lillibet and Margaret could make these moments feel more authentic and less like standard congratulatory exchanges.
  • The scene transitions from the emotional high of the speech to the celebratory atmosphere in the State Rooms, but it could use more visual detail to enhance the setting. Describing the opulence of Buckingham Palace or the atmosphere of the waiting crowds could help ground the audience in the moment.
  • While the nod between Bertie and Logue signifies their bond, it lacks a verbal acknowledgment that could deepen their relationship. A simple line from Bertie expressing gratitude or recognition of Logue's role in his success would strengthen this connection.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transitions between characters. Allowing for brief pauses or reactions after key lines could enhance the emotional weight of the moment and give the audience time to absorb the significance of Bertie's achievement.
Suggestions
  • Revise Elizabeth's line to include a more personal touch, perhaps referencing a specific moment of doubt or fear she had about Bertie's speech, which would make her praise feel more impactful.
  • Consider giving Lillibet and Margaret distinct personalities in their responses to Bertie's speech, perhaps by incorporating their own unique phrases or quirks that reflect their characters.
  • Add descriptive elements to the setting, such as the grandeur of the State Rooms or the excitement of the crowds outside, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Include a line from Bertie to Logue that acknowledges their journey together, reinforcing the significance of their relationship and the support Logue has provided.
  • Slow down the pacing by incorporating pauses or reactions after significant lines, allowing the audience to fully appreciate the emotional weight of the scene.



Scene 60 -  A Royal Acknowledgment
EXT. BALCONY, BUCKINGHAM PALACE - DAY

The King, his Queen and their children wave to the crowds,
receiving their adulation and love.

Bertie glances upwards.

POV - silver dirigibles hover protectively.

ON THE BALCONY - Bertie and Elizabeth, King and Queen, wave
to their people and receive their approbation.

Lionel watches from the shadow.

CARD:

King George VI made Lionel Logue a Commander of the Royal
Victorian Order in 1944.

This high honour from a grateful King made Lionel part of the
only order of chivalry that specifically rewards acts of
personal service to the Monarch.

Lionel was with the King for every wartime speech.

Through his broadcasts, George VI became a symbol of national
resistance.

Lionel and Bertie remained friends for the rest of their
lives.

THE END
Genres: ["Historical Drama","Biographical"]

Summary On a sunny day at Buckingham Palace, King George VI (Bertie) and Queen Elizabeth wave to the cheering crowds from the balcony, symbolizing unity and gratitude. Above them, silver dirigibles hover, representing protection. In the shadows, Lionel Logue observes, reflecting on his significant role in supporting the King through his struggles. The scene concludes with a card honoring Lionel as a Commander of the Royal Victorian Order, celebrating their enduring friendship and his contributions during wartime.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Powerful performances
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally impactful, well-structured, and beautifully executed, with strong character development and a significant plot progression.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the King's pivotal wartime speech and the bond between him and Lionel Logue, delivering a powerful message of unity and resilience.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the King's preparation and delivery of his speech, showcasing his growth and determination in the face of adversity.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events, focusing on the personal relationships and inner struggles of the characters rather than grand political or military maneuvers. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters, especially King George VI and Lionel Logue, are well-developed and their relationship is portrayed with depth and authenticity.

Character Changes: 9

King George VI undergoes a significant transformation, finding his voice and confidence as a leader, while his friendship with Lionel Logue deepens.

Internal Goal: 8

Bertie's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and fulfill his duties as King, despite any personal doubts or insecurities he may have. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and validation in his role as a monarch.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to present a united front with his Queen and family to the public, showcasing stability and strength in the face of wartime challenges.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is internal conflict and tension, the scene focuses more on resolution and unity, leading to a sense of closure and hope.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with the tension between personal doubts and public expectations serving as a subtle but impactful obstacle for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the King delivers a crucial wartime speech, facing the pressure of leading his nation through a challenging time.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by showcasing the King's pivotal moment and setting the stage for future challenges and triumphs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the internal conflicts and emotional complexities of the characters, which add layers of depth and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between personal doubts and public expectations. Bertie must balance his own insecurities with the demands of his role as King, highlighting the conflict between individual identity and public persona.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.8

The scene evokes strong emotions of pride, gratitude, and inspiration, leaving a lasting impression on the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and impactful, effectively conveying the emotions and thoughts of the characters in a meaningful way.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, historical context, and personal relationships depicted. The tension between personal doubts and public expectations keeps the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing emotional depth with historical detail, creating a compelling narrative flow that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. It follows the expected format for its genre, enhancing the reader's understanding and engagement.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the emotional depth of the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of triumph and unity, showcasing the culmination of Bertie's journey and his relationship with Lionel. However, the transition from the previous scene to this one feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Bertie's speech could be better reflected in this final moment, perhaps by including a brief flashback or a line of dialogue that echoes the themes of his speech.
  • The use of the silver dirigibles as a visual metaphor for protection is a nice touch, but it could be expanded upon. Consider adding a line of internal monologue from Bertie that reflects his thoughts on the significance of this moment, perhaps relating it to his earlier struggles with speech and his newfound confidence.
  • The ending card provides important context about Lionel's honor and their friendship, but it feels somewhat detached from the emotional core of the scene. Integrating this information into the dialogue or visual storytelling could enhance the emotional impact. For example, a brief exchange between Bertie and Lionel could serve to highlight their bond and the significance of Lionel's role in Bertie's journey.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional climax. While the waving and the acknowledgment of the crowd are celebratory, there could be a more poignant moment that encapsulates Bertie's growth. Perhaps a moment where he reflects on his journey or shares a private glance with Elizabeth that conveys their shared relief and joy would deepen the emotional resonance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Bertie as he looks up at the dirigibles, reflecting on his journey and the significance of the moment.
  • Incorporate a line of dialogue or a shared glance between Bertie and Lionel that acknowledges their journey together, reinforcing their bond and the importance of Lionel's support.
  • Enhance the emotional climax by including a moment of reflection or connection between Bertie and Elizabeth, emphasizing their partnership and shared triumph.
  • Explore the possibility of a flashback or visual cue that ties back to Bertie's earlier struggles, creating a stronger narrative arc that culminates in this moment of victory.