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Scene 1 -  Echoes of Intentions
INT. ELEGANT DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - LATER

The Security Guard waits as an ATTENDANT speaks to an ELDERLY
JAPANESE MAN sitting at the dining table, back to us.

ATTENDANT
(in Japanese)
He was delirious. But he asked for
you by name. And...
(to the Security Guard)
Show him.

SECURITY GUARD
(in Japanese)
He was carrying nothing but this...

He puts a HANDGUN on the table. The Elderly Man keeps eating.

SECURITY GUARD
...and this.

The Security Guard places a SMALL PEWTER CONE alongside the
gun. The Elderly Man STOPS eating. Picks up the cone.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in Japanese)
Bring him here. And some food.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

The Elderly Man watches the Bearded Man WOLF down his food.
He SLIDES the handgun down the table towards him.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in English)
Are you here to kill me?

The Bearded Man glances up at him, then back to his food.
2.

The Elderly Japanese Man picks up the cone between thumb and
forefinger.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I know what this is.

He SPINS it onto a table- it CIRCLES gracefully across the
polished ebony... a SPINNING TOP.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I’ve seen one before. Many, many
years ago...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES at the top mesmerized.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
It belonged to a man I met in a
half-remembered dream...

MOVE IN on the GRACEFULLY SPINNING TOP...

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
A man possessed of some radical
notions...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES, remembering...

COBB (V.O.)
What’s the most resilient parasite?

CUT TO:

INT. SAME ELEGANT DINING ROOM - NIGHT (YEARS EARLIER)

The speaker, COBB, is 35, handsome, tailored. A young
Japanese man, SAITO, eats as he listens.

COBB
A bacteria? A virus?

Cobb gestures at their feast with his wine glass-

COBB
An intestinal worm?

Saito’s fork pauses, mid-air. Cobb GRINS. A third man is at
the table- ARTHUR. He jumps in to save the pitch-

ARTHUR
What Mr. Cobb is trying to say-

COBB
An idea.

Saito looks at Cobb, curious.
3.

COBB
Resilient, highly contagious. Once
an idea’s taken hold in the brain
it’s almost impossible to
eradicate. A person can cover it
up, ignore it- but it stays there.

SAITO
But surely-to forget...?

COBB
Information, yes. But an idea?
Fully formed, understood? That
sticks...
(taps forehead)
In there, somewhere.

SAITO
For someone like you to steal?

ARTHUR
Yes. In the dream state, conscious
defenses are lowered and your
thoughts become vulnerable to
theft. It’s called extraction.

COBB
But, Mr. Saito, we can train your
subconscious to defend itself from
even the most skilled extractor.

SAITO
How can you do that?

COBB
Because I am the most skilled
extractor. I know how to search
your mind and find your secrets. I
know the tricks, and I can teach
them to your subconscious so that
even when you’re asleep, your guard
is never down.

Cobb leans forwards. Holding Saito’s gaze.

COBB
But if I’m going to help you, you
have to be completely open to me.
I’ll need to know my way around
your thoughts better than your
wife, your analyst, anyone.
(gestures around)
If this is a dream and you’ve got a
safe full of secrets, I need to
know what’s in that safe. For this
to work, you have to let me in.
4.

Saito gives this a flicker of a smile. Rises. A BODYGUARD
opens double doors which give onto a LAVISH PARTY.

SAITO
Gentlemen. Enjoy your evening as I
consider your proposal.

They watch Saito leave. Arthur turns to Cobb, worried-

ARTHUR
He knows.

Cobb motions silence. A TREMOR starts, they steady their
glasses, Cobb glances at his watch- THE SECOND HAND IS
FROZEN.

ARTHUR
What’s going on up there?

And we-

CUT TO:

FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Cobb, ASLEEP, SITTING IN A CHAIR AT THE END OF A STEAMING
BATH. The chair is up on a cabinet- the bottom of the legs
level with the rim of the tub.

A sweating man (40's) watches over Cobb. This is NASH. A
distant EXPLOSION rumbles through the room. Nash moves to the
window, parts the curtains. Outside: a CHAOTIC DEVELOPING-WORLD
CITY- the street filled with RIOTERS- SMASHING, BURNING.

Nash checks Cobb's left wrist: above his watch, tape holds
TWO THIN YELLOW TUBES in place. Nash looks at Cobb's watch-
THE SECOND HAND CRAWLS UNNATURALLY SLOWLY.

Nash follows the tubes to a SILVER BRIEFCASE at Arthur's
feet: ARTHUR IS ASLEEP in an armchair. Tubes connect the
briefcase to Arthur's wrist.

Nash follows another set of tubes from the briefcase to where
they pass under the door to the bedroom. Through the crack of
the door, Nash sees SAITO ASLEEP on the bed, tubes running to
his wrist. BOOM- a closer EXPLOSION, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary In a lavish dining room of a Japanese castle, an Elderly Japanese Man questions the Bearded Man's intentions while reminiscing about a dream involving radical ideas. As tension builds, a flashback reveals Cobb discussing the complexities of idea extraction with Saito and Arthur at a party. The scene contrasts the elegance of the dining room with the chaos outside, culminating in Cobb asleep in a filthy bathroom, connected to a briefcase amidst the turmoil.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing concept
  • Mysterious tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this scene
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, well-written, and sets up a complex and intriguing premise for the story. The use of dialogue and visual cues effectively builds tension and curiosity.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of dream extraction and the idea of stealing thoughts from the subconscious is innovative and captivating. The scene introduces these concepts in a clear and compelling way.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed and sets up the central conflict of the story. The introduction of the spinning top as a memory trigger adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts like dream extraction and the power of ideas, while also incorporating elements of Japanese culture and symbolism to create a unique and engaging narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are intriguing and well-defined, especially Cobb and Saito. Their interactions and dynamics set the stage for the story's central conflict.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between Cobb and Saito hint at potential development and growth for both characters as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the significance of the spinning top and its connection to the Elderly Japanese Man's past, reflecting his curiosity and desire for knowledge.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to determine if he is being set up to kill the Elderly Japanese Man, reflecting the immediate danger and uncertainty he faces.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a subtle but palpable conflict between Cobb and Saito, as well as the underlying tension of the dream extraction process. The scene sets up the potential for high stakes and intense conflicts to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing uncertainty, danger, and conflicting motivations that challenge his beliefs and actions.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are implied through the concept of dream extraction and the potential consequences of stealing ideas from the subconscious. The scene hints at the risks involved in this process.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively sets up the central conflict and premise of the story, moving the narrative forward and laying the groundwork for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its shifting timelines, dream sequences, and philosophical discussions, creating a sense of uncertainty and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the nature of ideas and memories, as seen in the discussion about the resilience of parasites and the concept of extraction in dreams. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the power of the mind and the importance of protecting one's thoughts.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of intrigue and curiosity, setting up emotional investment in the characters and their motivations. The use of memory and dreams adds a layer of emotional depth.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot. It effectively conveys the complex concepts of dream manipulation and idea theft.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of suspense, mystery, and cultural intrigue, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting effectively conveys the shifting timelines and locations, enhancing the overall storytelling and visual impact.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that weaves between past and present events, creating a sense of mystery and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with a clear sense of setting and character dynamics. However, the transition between the dining room scene and the flashback could be more seamless and less abrupt.
  • The dialogue in the flashback is strong and establishes the characters' motivations and abilities. However, the connection between the flashback and the main scene could be made more explicit.
  • The introduction of the spinning top as a symbol is intriguing, but its significance should be clarified earlier in the scene to avoid confusion.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a subtle visual or thematic link between the spinning top and the scene in the dining room to smooth the transition between the two.
  • Make the connection between the flashback and the main scene more explicit, perhaps by having the Elderly Japanese Man mention the spinning top in a way that directly relates to the flashback.
  • Clarify the significance of the spinning top earlier in the scene, either through dialogue or visual cues, to help the reader better understand its importance.



Scene 2 -  Tension at the Castle
INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Nash, ASLEEP. Head ROCKING AGAINST THE WINDOW as the train
BUMPS OVER A ROUGH PIECE OF TRACK.
5.

A Japanese Man, TODASHI (18) watches Nash nervously. He
checks Nash's wrist: TWO YELLOW TUBES CONNECT NASH WITH THREE
OTHER SLEEPING MEN IN THE COMPARTMENT: COBB, ARTHUR, SAITO.

Todashi checks his watch: THE SECOND HAND TICKS IN REAL TIME.
Another TRAIN PASSES in the opposite direction with a MIGHTY
WHUMP− Todashi's eyes FLY to Nash's sleeping face-

NASH JERKS WITH THE MOVEMENT OF THE TRAIN, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Another EXPLOSION- Nash CHECKS the sleeping Cobb and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP TERRACES, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

A LOW TREMOR RUMBLES THROUGH THE CASTLE. Cobb and Arthur
steady themselves against the wooden rail. Several TILES and
pieces of MASONRY fall. Below them a BLACK SEA churns. Other
GUESTS wander the massive terraces.

ARTHUR
Saito knows. He's playing with us.

COBB
I can get it here. The
information's in the safe− he
looked right at it when I mentioned
secrets.

Arthur nods. Then spots someone over Cobb's shoulder.

ARTHUR
What's she doing here, Cobb?

Cobb turns to see a beautiful woman, elegantly dressed,
staring out at the sea. This is MAL. Cobb watches her.

COBB
You just get to your room. I'll
take care of the rest.

ARTHUR
See that you do. We're here to
work.

Arthur brushes past Mal, shaking his head. She nears Cobb.
Looks out at the DROP. The WIND WHIPS HER HAIR-

MAL
If I jumped, would I survive?
6.

COBB
With a clean dive, perhaps. Mal,
why are you here?

She turns to look at him. Amused.

MAL
I thought you might be missing
me...

She smiles. He leans in, mesmerized.

COBB
I am. But I can't trust you
anymore.

She stares up at him, inviting.

MAL
So what?

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Mal sips champagne as she studies a painting by Francis
Bacon.

MAL
Looks like Arthur's taste.

Cobb is looking down through the window at the GUARDS
patrolling the castle at ground level.

COBB
Actually, Mr. Saito is partial to
postwar British painters.

He turns to Mal, donning a pair of black leather gloves.

COBB
Would you sit down?

Mal lowers herself gracefully into a leather wingback chair.
Cobb approaches, pulls out a length of BLACK ROPE and kneels
at Mal's feet. She looks down at him.

MAL
Tell me...

Cobb TIES the rope around the CHAIR LEGS.

MAL
Do the children miss me?

Cobb pauses. He lets his gloved fingers lightly touch Mal's
ankle. He looks up at her.
7.

COBB
You can't imagine.

Mal looks away, uncomfortable. Cobb gets to his feet, letting
out the rope as he moves back to the window.

MAL
What're you doing?

Cobb tosses the rope out-

COBB
Getting some air.

He tugs on the rope, testing. The weight of the chair, with
Mal on it, holds.

COBB
Stay seated. Please.

And with that, he JUMPS. Mal considers the open window.

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb RAPPELS down the wall, darting past windows. He stops at
a particular one. Gets out a glass cutter-

Suddenly he starts DROPPING-

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

The EMPTY CHAIR SLIDES across the floor- WEDGES under the
window-

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb JOLTS to a stop 15 ft. lower. He looks up at the bedroom
window. Shakes his head. Starts climbing back.

INT. KITCHEN, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb drops silently from the window into the darkened
kitchen. He pulls a PISTOL from his belt, screwing a SILENCER
onto the barrel as he GLIDES across the room.

INT. HALL, JAPANESE CASTLE-CONTINUOUS

Cobb SLIPS through the shadows towards a GUARD stationed at
the head of a GRAND STAIRCASE...

The Guard HEARS something- TURNS- PEERS into the shadows...

Cobb FLASHES out of the shadows, silenced pistol up, AIMING-
8.

PHHT- head shot- the Guard starts to drop... but Cobb is
already there to CATCH him, sliding on his knees and lowering
the Guard SILENTLY to the floor.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb moves to a PAINTING. With practiced hands he removes it
from the wall, revealing a SAFE. Cobb spins the dial, pulls
it OPEN, GRABS an envelope from within, stuffs it into his
waistband, where there is already an IDENTICAL ENVELOPE.

LIGHTS COME ON. Cobb freezes.

SAITO (O.S.)
Turn around.

Cobb turns. At the far end of the room: Saito. Next to him is
Mal, gun in hand. She smiles at Cobb.

MAL
The gun, Dom.

Cobb doesn't move. Mal motions outside- two GUARDS drag
Arthur into the room. Mal puts the gun to his head.

MAL
Please.

Cobb slowly places his gun at his end of the long table, then
SLIDES it along the polished ebony. It comes to rest HALFWAY
down the length or the table.

SAITO
Now the envelope, Mr. Cobb.

Cobb reaches into his waistband, removes ONE of the
envelopes, SLIDES it along the table. Steps back, hands
raised.

COBB
Did she tell you, or have you known
all along?

SAITO
That you're here to steal from me?
(beat)
Or that we're actually asleep?

Arthur gives Cobb an I-told-you-so look.

SAITO
I want to know who your employer
is.

Mal COCKS the gun at Arthur's temple.
9.

COBB
No point threatening him in a
dream.

MAL
That depends on what you're
threatening. Killing him would just
wake him up... but pain? Pain is in
the mind...

Mal LOWERS the gun and SHOOTS Arthur in the leg- Arthur
drops, SCREAMING- Mal looks at Cobb, cold.

MAL
And, judging by the decor, we're in
your mind, aren't we, Arthur?

Cobb watches Arthur's PAIN. Mal aims at Arthur's other leg...

Cobb SPRINGS for the table, SKIDDING along its polished
surface- he GRABS his gun- SHOOTS ARTHUR BETWEEN THE EYES-

Arthur DROPS- the room starts to SHUDDER in a MASSIVE
EARTHQUAKE− Cobb SPRINGS for the door- Arthur's eyes stare at
the ceiling, DEAD, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary On a bullet train, Nash sleeps while Todashi anxiously monitors him. The scene shifts to a Japanese castle where Cobb confronts his past with Mal, who manipulates him about their children. As Cobb stealthily retrieves information, he faces a standoff with Saito and Mal, who holds Arthur at gunpoint. The tension escalates when Mal shoots Arthur, prompting a violent reaction from Cobb as chaos ensues, culminating in an earthquake.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex plot twists
  • Emotionally charged dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the violence and tension too intense
  • Character motivations may be unclear at times

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a mix of action, suspense, and emotional depth that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of entering dreams and manipulating reality adds a unique and intriguing layer to the scene, creating a complex and immersive narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate and well-developed, with twists and turns that heighten the tension and drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its blend of espionage, dream manipulation, and psychological drama. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and unpredictable, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the unfolding drama.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo significant emotional turmoil and revelations, leading to some changes in their perspectives and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate his complicated relationship with Mal, his ex-wife, while also completing a dangerous mission. This reflects his desire for closure and redemption, as well as his fear of betrayal and loss.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to steal information from Saito's safe and avoid getting caught. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in completing the mission successfully.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, with high stakes and emotional repercussions for the characters involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing physical and psychological challenges that test their abilities and beliefs. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' fates and choices.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with lives on the line, betrayals unfolding, and the characters facing dire consequences for their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward with key revelations, conflicts, and developments that set the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected plot twists, character choices, and shifting realities. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and dreams. The characters question whether they are in a dream or reality, and how their actions in dreams affect their waking lives. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about control and consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, with moments of tension, fear, and betrayal that resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the characters' emotions and driving the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, complex character dynamics, and high-stakes conflict. The audience is drawn into the mystery and suspense of the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspenseful moments. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene's formatting is dynamic and visually engaging, with clear transitions between locations and actions. The formatting enhances the scene's tension and visual impact.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and timelines to build suspense and reveal character motivations. The formatting enhances the scene's complexity and pacing.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The characters Todashi and Mal are introduced without much context, making it difficult for the reader to immediately understand their significance.
  • The dialogue between Cobb and Mal could be more concise and impactful, as it seems to repeat the theme of trust and mistrust.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a few lines of dialogue or action to better introduce Mal and Todashi, making their presence and roles clearer to the reader.
  • Evaluate the dialogue between Cobb and Mal, looking for opportunities to make it more impactful and less repetitive.
  • Try reworking the scene transitions to create a more seamless flow between the different settings and actions.



Scene 3 -  Race Against Time
INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Arthur's EYES OPEN as he WAKES IN THE ARMCHAIR- he GRABS at
the tubes at his wrist, YANKING them free-

NASH
What're you doing?! It's too soon-

FLUID spurts from the tubes as Arthur STRUGGLES with the
SILVER CASE on the bathroom floor.

ARTHUR
I know! We have to reconnect the
loop before they wake up!

Arthur grabs the case and pushes through the door to the
bedroom− following the tubes to where they meet Saito's wrist-
SAITO LIES ON THE BED ASLEEP. Saito STIRS and we-

CUT TO:

INT. JAPANESE CASTLE CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Cobb LURCHES towards the stairs, as all around him the
building BUCKS and HEAVES-
10.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito and the Guards PANIC. Mal walks calmly through the
destruction, picks up the envelope and turns to Saito.

MAL
He was close. Very close.

EXT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb runs up the stairs, pulling out the SECOND ENVELOPE-

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito RIPS open the envelope, pulls out sheets of paper. He
looks at Mal, PANICKED. He turns to the Guards-

SAITO
Stop him!

Mal, confused, looks at the sheets of paper: THEY ARE BLANK.
Mal smiles, amused.

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

As Cobb runs up the stairs he reads the TYPEWRITTEN SHEETS
from his envelope, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Arthur OPENS the silver case: a COMPLEX MECHANISM of TUBES,
SYRINGES, DOSAGE CONTROLLERS. Arthur's hands fly across the
machine's controls as he glances at Saito's STIRRING face-

ARTHUR
I'm not going to make it! Wake
Cobb!

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash turns to Cobb. Raises his hand and SMACKS him across the
face, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb is SMASHED sideways off his feet...
11.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

The CEILING CRACKS above Saito- he looks up as a TON of STONE
floods down, CRUSHING HIM and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes FLICKER OPEN. AWAKE.

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash SMACKS Cobb again-

NASH
He won't wake!

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-CONTINUOUS

Arthur crouched by Saito, connects the second tube.

ARTHUR
Dunk him!

A CLICK: Arthur looks up to find Saito with a gun to his head
and a finger to his lips, gesturing silence...

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash puts his hand on Cobb's forehead and PUSHES HIM
BACKWARDS− as Cobb starts to FALL BACKWARDS in the chair we
are in SLOW MOTION, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb, full speed, picks himself up, scrambling to read the
last sheet of paper. He stares at it PUZZLED- bullets hit
around him as the Guards race up the stairs and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense and frantic scene, Arthur wakes up in a filthy bathroom and desperately works to reconnect a loop to save Saito, who is unconscious in a nearby bedroom. As he operates a complex mechanism, Nash struggles to keep Cobb from waking up amidst chaos in a Japanese castle. The scene alternates between Arthur's urgent efforts and Cobb's frantic attempts to read an envelope while being attacked. Just as Nash pushes Cobb back, Saito's eyes flicker open, leaving the outcome of Arthur's efforts uncertain.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the genre or style of storytelling

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is well-executed with a good balance of action, suspense, and character dynamics. The high-stakes situation keeps the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using a complex mechanism to control characters' actions adds an innovative twist to the scene. It creates tension and raises the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging and moves at a fast pace, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. The escalating conflict and high stakes drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces unique elements like the complex mechanism in the silver case and the philosophical conflict of sacrifice, adding originality to the familiar action genre. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-developed and their actions are in line with their motivations. The dynamics between the characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly in their relationships and allegiances. The events of the scene have a lasting impact on their development.

Internal Goal: 9

Arthur's internal goal is to reconnect the loop before they wake up, reflecting his need to maintain control and ensure the success of the mission. This goal also reflects his fear of failure and the consequences that may follow.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to wake Cobb and ensure the success of the mission. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of completing the task at hand amidst chaos and opposition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with physical, emotional, and psychological elements at play. The characters are pushed to their limits.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that test the characters' resolve and push them to their limits. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with characters' lives on the line and the outcome of the mission hanging in the balance. The tension is palpable.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward with key revelations, conflicts, and character developments. It sets the stage for future events and raises the stakes for the protagonists.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns, such as Saito waking up and holding Arthur at gunpoint. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of sacrifice for the greater good. Arthur's actions highlight the ethical dilemma of risking one life to save many, challenging his beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from fear and tension to empathy and suspense. The characters' struggles are palpable and engaging.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and serves to heighten the tension in the scene. It reveals the characters' motivations and adds to the overall suspense.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and emotional intensity. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and invested in the outcome of the mission.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The rhythm of the action keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the action.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a coherent progression of events. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions, making it clearer for the reader to follow.
  • The pacing of the scene is quite fast, which might make it challenging for the reader to fully grasp the significance of each action. Consider slowing down the pacing in some areas to allow for better understanding.
  • The characters' motivations and emotions are not always clear, which can make it difficult for the reader to connect with them. Providing more context and emotional depth for the characters could enhance the overall impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive transitions between the different locations and actions to help the reader follow the story more easily.
  • Slow down the pacing in certain areas to allow the reader to absorb the significance of each action and better understand the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • Add more context and emotional depth to the characters, especially during crucial moments, to help the reader connect with them and become more invested in the story.



Scene 4 -  Underwater Confrontation
INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb in SLOW MOTION, hits the WATER- head THRASHING as he
goes under- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb glances up from the paper as WATER EXPLODES IN THROUGH
ALL THE WINDOWS, FLOODING THE ENTIRE HALL-
12.

COBB IS SWAMPED BY WATER, SPUN IN ALL DIRECTIONS AT ONCE- HE
PULLS DEEPER OR FOR THE SURFACE, WE CAN'T TELL...

HE BREAKS THE SURFACE, GASPING FOR AIR IN THE BATHTUB IN THE-

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb’s AWAKE, GULPING AIR, getting his bearings.

Saito SMASHES into the room, KNOCKING Nash down- Cobb
LAUNCHES himself out of the tub, FLYING dripping wet across
the room to SLAM Saito against the door- the gun DROPS,
Cobb's fist CONNECTS with Saito's jaw and the struggle is
over.

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb, wet but composed, sits, turning Saito's gun in his
hand. Nash holds Saito's arms behind him. Outside, the sounds
of RIOTING grow louder.

COBB
You came prepared.

SAITO
I bring the gun because not even my
head of security knows this
apartment. How did you find it?

Arthur, at the window, looks out at the WORSENING VIOLENCE.

COBB
Hard for a man in your position to
keep a love nest totally secret...
particularly when there's a married
woman involved.

SAITO
She would never...

COBB
And yet, here we are.

Saito is silent.

COBB
With a dilemma.

SAITO
You got what you came for.

COBB
Not quite. The key piece of
information wasn't there, was it,
Mr. Saito?
13.

Arthur looks over at Cobb, worried.

ARTHUR
They're getting closer, Cobb.

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi slips a pair of HEADPHONES over Nash's ears, then
pulls out an MP3 player and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes are on the floor.

COBB
You held something back because you
knew what we were up to...

Cobb uses the barrel of the gun to raise Saito's chin.

COBB
So why let us in at all?

Saito smiles, defiant. VIOLENT NOISES echo up the stairway...

SAITO
An audition.

COBB
Audition for what?

SAITO
It doesn't matter. You failed.

COBB
I extracted all the information you
had in there.

SAITO
But your deception was readily
apparent.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi opens the SILVER BRIEFCASE, revealing the complex
mechanism of syringes and controllers- FOUR CONTROLLERS
DISPLAY COUNTDOWNS.
14.

Todashi waits for the first countdown to hit "30," then HITS
PLAY on the MP3 player- He watches Nash's sleeping face as he
RAISES the volume...

Through Nash's headphones: the opening bars of Edith Piaf's
"Non, je ne regrette rien," and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

In the distant background, strange MASSIVE low-end MUSICAL
start, sounding like DISTANT HORNS...

SAITO
So leave me and go.

COBB
You know the corporation who hired
us won't accept failure. We won't
last two days...

The DISTANT, SLOWED-DOWN MUSIC is becoming LOUDER, as are the
SHOUTS coming up the stairs. Arthur looks at his watch, its
SLOW SECOND TICKING MARKS TIME WITH THE MASSIVE MUSIC.

ARTHUR
Come on, Cobb.

COBB
So now I have to do this the old-
fashioned way-

Cobb GRABS SAITO AND PUTS HIS HEAD TO THE FLOOR, gun pressed
into his cheek. Saito looks into Cobb's eyes- sees he will
pull the trigger. Saito BLINKS, looks away in shame-

When he NOTICES SOMETHING. And starts LAUGHING.

SAITO
I've always hated this carpet.

Cobb’s eyes flick to the carpet and back.

SAITO
It's stained and frayed in such
distinctive ways...

Cobb looks up at Nash, who shrugs, at a loss.

SAITO
But very definitely made of wool.
Right now I'm lying on polyester.
15.

Cobb glares at Nash, and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Mystery"]

Summary Cobb transitions from a chaotic underwater scene to a tense confrontation with Saito in a dilapidated hotel room. After waking up gasping, Cobb overpowers Saito and demands crucial information, revealing underlying tensions as Saito hints at an ulterior motive for their meeting. The scene is marked by escalating violence outside and a countdown signaling danger, culminating in a moment of levity when Saito laughs about the carpet, despite the urgent and precarious situation.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Plot twists
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Pacing in certain moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension, introduces a twist, and advances the plot, keeping the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an audition for information, the use of deception, and the unexpected twist with the carpet material are innovative and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with a clear progression of events, escalating conflict, and a surprising revelation that propels the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the use of music and a countdown mechanism to create tension. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the suspenseful atmosphere.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Cobb and Saito are well-defined, with conflicting motivations and a tense dynamic that drives the scene.

Character Changes: 6

Saito experiences a moment of realization and vulnerability, while Cobb's determination and ruthlessness are highlighted.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to uncover the truth and complete his mission despite the obstacles and betrayals he faces. This reflects his need for redemption and closure from his past mistakes.

External Goal: 7.5

Cobb's external goal is to extract information from Saito and complete the mission he was hired for. This reflects the immediate challenge of survival and success in a dangerous situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb and Saito is intense and multi-layered, with high stakes and a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and hidden agendas creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is kept in suspense about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the scene, including life-threatening situations and the risk of failure, heighten the tension and suspense.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, revealing crucial information and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and dialogue. The outcome is uncertain, adding to the suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between deception and truth, power and vulnerability. Saito's manipulation and Cobb's determination to uncover the truth challenge their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes emotions of tension, suspense, and surprise, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the characters' intentions and adding to the tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, suspenseful dialogue, and high stakes. The escalating tension keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, with a sense of urgency and tension that drives the action forward. The rhythm of the scene enhances its effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of scene headings and action lines to guide the reader.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure with quick cuts between different locations, creating a sense of disorientation and urgency.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from more fluidity, making it harder for the reader to follow.
  • The dialogue in the scene is somewhat stilted and unnatural, which may make it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The motivations of the characters, particularly Saito, are not entirely clear, which can lead to confusion for the reader.
Suggestions
  • Smoother scene transitions can be achieved by using fades or dissolves between cuts, allowing the reader to better follow the action.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, which will help the audience connect with the characters and understand their motivations.
  • Clarify the motivations of the characters, especially Saito, by providing more context or backstory, making the scene more impactful for the reader.



Scene 5 -  Dream Collapse and Escape
INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi watches the first of the countdowns hit ZERO- He
looks up at Arthur, STIRRING, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-DAY

Saito turns from the carpet to look up at Cobb.

SAITO
Which means I'm not lying on my
carpet, in my apartment...
(smiles)
You've lived up to your reputation,
Mr. Cobb... I'm still dreaming.

Cobb looks over to Arthur, but ARTHUR HAS VANISHED, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur's eyes flicker open, AWAKE. He RIPS at his tubes.

TODASHI
How'd it go?

ARTHUR
Not good.

Arthur checks the remaining three countdowns, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito gets to his feet, looking admiringly at Cobb.

SAITO
A dream within a dream-I'm
impressed.

Cobb lowers the gun. Defeated. Glances at his watch. The
music REVERBERATES, the RIOTERS BANG ON THE DOOR, and we-

CUT TO:
16.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur retracts the tubes into the case as he watches the
next countdown hit ZERO, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Another BANG on the door- Saito, confident now, approaches
Cobb. Nash is behind Saito.

SAITO
But in my dream, we really ought to
be playing by my rules...

NASH
Ah, yes, but you see, Mr. Saito-

Saito turns to Nash-

COBB
We're not in your dream-

Saito turns back to Cobb, BUT COBB HAS VANISHED-

NASH
We're in mine.

Saito SPINS back to Nash- the DOOR SMASHES OFF ITS HINGES AS
RIOTERS POUR INTO THE ROOM, SWARMING OVER NASH... BUT NASH IS
GONE. The music DIES. Saito and the rioters stand there in
the SILENCE, the light DWINDLING... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Nash’ eyes open, AWAKE.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
Asshole!

Nash BLINKS. Arthur is in his face, furious.

ARTHUR
How could you get the carpet
wrong?!

NASH
It wasn't my fault!

ARTHUR
You're the architect-
17.

NASH
I didn't know he was going to rub
his damn cheek on it!

Cobb pulls Arthur away from Nash.

COBB
Lets go.

ARTHUR
And you-what the hell was all that?

COBB
I had it under control.

ARTHUR
I’d hate to see out of control-

COBB
There's no time for this-I'm
getting off at Kyoto.

ARTHUR
Why? He's not gonna search every
compartment.

COBB
I can't stand trains.

Arthur moves to the briefcase. Turns a dial.

ARTHUR
I can keep him under for one minute-

Arthur hits a button- A PLUNGER DEPRESSES. Cobb RIPS the tape
off Saito's wrist, ROLLS up his tubes. Arthur SLAMS the
silver case shut. Todashi pulls open the door-

COBB
Every man for himself.

Arthur and Nash EXIT, heading in different directions down
the corridor. Cobb hands Todashi a thick roll of CASH, looks
at Saito, who stirs. Cobb moves off.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The scene unfolds in a tense and chaotic atmosphere, jumping between a bullet train compartment and a dilapidated hotel room. As the dream unravels, Saito, the target of the extraction, acknowledges Cobb's skills but asserts his dominance within the dream. Meanwhile, Cobb grapples with the escalating chaos, facing frustration from Arthur and Nash over the dream's failure. The conflict escalates when rioters invade the hotel room, forcing Cobb and his team to scramble for survival. The scene ends with Cobb instructing his team to split up and escape the train, leaving the outcome of the mission uncertain.
Strengths
  • Complex narrative structure
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of the dream sequences may be confusing for viewers
  • Pacing may be too fast for some audience members

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with a mix of action, mystery, and emotional depth. The complex narrative structure keeps the audience on edge, while the dialogue and character interactions add depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of dreams within dreams, deception, and hidden motives is executed effectively, creating a sense of intrigue and suspense. The scene explores the blurred lines between reality and dreams, adding layers to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and fast-paced, with multiple layers of conflict and tension. The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing new information and raising the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique concepts like shared dreaming and dream manipulation, offering a fresh take on the heist genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene. The interactions between Cobb, Arthur, Saito, and Nash drive the narrative forward and create tension.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly Cobb, who grapples with his past and his relationships. The events of the scene force the characters to confront their inner demons and make difficult decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and keep his secrets hidden while navigating the dream world. This reflects his fear of losing control and his desire to protect himself and his team.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully complete the mission and extract valuable information from the dream. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the dream world and dealing with unexpected obstacles.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, driving the characters to make difficult choices and face the consequences of their actions. The tension between the characters and the impending danger create a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external challenges that test their abilities and beliefs. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations, moral dilemmas, and personal betrayals. The outcome of the scene will have far-reaching consequences for the characters and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward at a rapid pace, introducing new conflicts, revelations, and challenges for the characters. The unfolding events set the stage for the next act of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the dream world, where reality and illusion blur. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and control. Characters question the boundaries between dreams and reality, and the power dynamics within the dream world challenge their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety and fear to determination and defiance. The characters' struggles and conflicts resonate with the audience, creating a strong emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. The exchanges between the characters add to the tension and suspense of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, intense dialogue, and high stakes. The audience is drawn into the mystery and suspense of the dream world.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspenseful moments. The rhythm builds tension and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a sci-fi thriller screenplay. The use of cuts and transitions adds to the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a non-linear structure, switching between different locations and timelines to build tension and suspense. The formatting enhances the pacing and rhythm of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions, allowing the reader to follow the narrative more easily.
  • The dialogue in the bullet train compartment is sparse and could be more engaging to create a stronger sense of tension and urgency.
  • The motivations and emotions of the characters, especially Todashi and Nash, could be more clearly defined to create a deeper connection with the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive language and sensory details to help the reader visualize the scenes and create a more immersive experience.
  • Develop the dialogue in the bullet train compartment to build suspense and create a stronger emotional connection between the characters and the reader.
  • Flesh out the backgrounds and motivations of Todashi and Nash, making their actions more meaningful and relatable to the reader.
  • Experiment with more gradual scene transitions to create a more cohesive narrative and avoid confusing the reader.



Scene 6 -  A Father's Guilt
EXT. JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE - CONTINUOUS

The BULLET TRAIN speeds through the lush landscape.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Saito WAKES GENTLY. Looks around the compartment, empty but
for Todashi, reading a comic. Saito looks down at his wrist.
Sees a small mark. Rubs it. SMILES.
18.

EXT. TOKYO - DUSK

Moving over the vast city towards a high rise. A HELICOPTER
thumps into frame, heading for a pad on the roof.

INT. APARTMENT, TOKYO - CONTINUOUS

Cobb sits, waiting. Checks his watch, restless. He pulls a
HANDGUN. Checks it is loaded. places it on the table in front
of him. Pulls out a PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
table ... He INTENT STUDIES the top's spin... As he stares,
the sound of a FREIGHT TRAIN builds and builds- the top
WOBBLES, TIPS onto its side- the sound of the train STOPS.
the PHONE RINGS- Cobb GRABS it-

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Hi, Daddy! Hi, Dad.

COBB
Hey, guys. How are you?

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Good. Okay, I guess.

Cobb closes his eyes, trying to picture his children: INSERT
CUT: COBB's MEMORY- a LITTLE BLONDE BOY (3), back towards us,
crouches IN A GARDEN, looks at something in the grass...

COBB
Who's just okay? Was that James?

JAMES (over phone)
Yeah. When are you coming home?

COBB
I can't. Not for a while.

INSERT CUT: A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL (5), also FACE UNSEEN, joins
JAMES, CROUCHING BESIDE HIM...

JAMES (over phone)
Why?

COBB
Well, James, like I've told you-I'm
away because I'm working...

LITTLE GIRL (over phone)
Grandma says you're never coming
back.

Cobb pauses. Takes a breath. INSERT CUT: James and Philippa,
FACES UNSEEN, lift their heads from the grass, responding to
someone's call− they RUN AWAY FROM US ACROSS THE GARDEN...
19.

COBB
Philippa, can you ask Grandma to
pick up the phone-

PHILIPPA (over phone)
She's shaking her head.

Cobb TENSES, as if about to SMASH the phone.

COBB
Well, we'll just have to hope
Grandma's wrong about that won't
we?

JAMES
(over phone)
Daddy?

COBB
Yes?

JAMES (over phone)
Is Mommy with you?

Cobb looks like he just got punched- INSERT CUT: COBB'S
MEMORY− MAL, WIND BLOWING HER HAIR, SMILES CALMLY...

COBB
No. No, we talked about this,
James. Mommy's gone.

JAMES (over phone)
Where?

GRANDMA'S VOICE (over phone)
Time to go, kids. Say bye-bye-
COBB
I'll give some presents to Grandpa,
okay? Just be good for-

Cobb STARES at the dead phone. Then DOWNS his drink- A KNOCK
at the door. Cobb GRABS the top, the gun- MOVES to the door-
cracks it: Arthur.

ARTHUR
Our ride's on the roof.

Cobb nods. Moves to pick up his bag. Arthur watches.

ARTHUR
Cobb... are you okay?

Cobb looks up.
20.

COBB
Yeah, why?

ARTHUR
Down in the dream... Mal showing up
like that ...

COBB
Yeah. I'm sorry about your leg.

ARTHUR
It's getting worse, isn't it?

COBB
One apology's all you're getting,
Arthur. Now, where's Nash?

ARTHUR
Hasn't shown. Wanna wait?

COBB
(shakes head)
We were supposed to deliver Saito's
expansion plans to Cobol Engineering
two hours ago. By now they know we
failed. Time to disappear.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary The scene opens with Saito waking up on a bullet train, while his companion Todashi reads a comic. It then shifts to Cobb in a Tokyo apartment at dusk, where he struggles emotionally during a phone call with his children, James and Philippa, who question his absence and their mother, Mal. This conversation reveals Cobb's deep guilt and pain. Arthur arrives to remind Cobb of their urgent mission, highlighting the internal conflict Cobb faces as he prepares to leave without resolving his emotional turmoil.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Some pacing issues in transitioning between locations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines emotional depth with suspense and action, creating a compelling and engaging sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Cobb's personal life while on a dangerous mission adds layers to the character and enhances the overall narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Cobb prepares to leave for a mission, setting up the stakes and conflicts that will unfold.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of redemption and loss, with authentic character interactions and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Cobb, are well-developed and their emotional struggles are portrayed effectively, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb undergoes emotional turmoil and growth in this scene, setting up potential character development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to reconcile with his past, specifically his family and the loss of his wife. This reflects his deeper need for closure and connection.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver the expansion plans to Cobol Engineering and disappear before they realize the failure. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is internal conflict within Cobb as he grapples with his past and his present mission, setting up the external conflicts to come.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with emotional obstacles, internal conflicts, and external challenges that create suspense and drive the protagonist's actions.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes of the mission are hinted at, but the personal stakes for Cobb are more prominent in this scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing Cobb's emotional state and motivations for the mission, setting up the conflicts and stakes to come.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations, character interactions, and plot twists that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's desire for redemption and his guilt over his past actions. This challenges his beliefs about family, work, and responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of Cobb's conversation with his children and his internal struggle resonates with the audience, creating a powerful connection.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between Cobb and his children is poignant and reveals his inner turmoil, while the interaction with Arthur adds tension and sets up the mission.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth, character development, and suspenseful elements that keep the audience invested in the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals information at a steady pace, and balances action with introspection to maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre and enhancing the readability of the screenplay.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively balancing action, dialogue, and introspection to drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are smooth and well-executed, creating a sense of continuity between the previous scene and this one.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the handgun, pewter spinning top, and children's voices, adds depth to the emotional turmoil Cobb is experiencing.
  • The dialogue between Cobb and his children is well-written, effectively conveying the emotional distance between them and the pain it causes Cobb.
  • The introduction of Arthur in this scene is a good way to maintain continuity and provide a sense of familiarity for the audience.
  • The subplot of Nash not showing up adds tension and urgency to the scene, as Cobb and his team need to act quickly before they are discovered.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the bullet train and Tokyo cityscape to create a more immersive experience for the reader.
  • Explore the possibility of expanding the conversation between Cobb and Arthur, allowing for more character development and emotional depth.
  • Consider further emphasizing the stakes of their mission by providing more context about the consequences of failure.
  • To create more suspense, you could introduce a ticking clock or a deadline that Cobb and his team must meet.
  • Consider adding a visual cue or a line of dialogue that foreshadows the challenges they will face in the upcoming scenes.



Scene 7 -  The Inception Standoff
INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Arthur head towards the elevator.

ARTHUR
Where will you go?

COBB
Buenos Aires. I can lie low there.
Maybe sniff out a job when things
quiet down. You?

ARTHUR
Stateside.

COBB
(wistful) )
'Course. Send my regards.

Arthur looks at Cobb. Nods. Sympathetic.

EXT. ROOFTOP HELIPAD - NIGHT

The HELICOPTER sits, ROTORS SPINNING. As Cobb and Arthur
reach the door, it SLIDES OPEN. Cobb steps up into the
leather-padded interior. He freezes.
21.

INT. HELICOPTER ON PAD - CONTINUOUS

Nash, BEATEN BLOODY, sits on the far side, slumped against
the wine. Beside him: SAITO. He nods politely at Cobb.

SAITO
He sold you out. Thought to come to
me and bargain for his life...

Saito's BODYGUARD offers Cobb a GUN.

SAITO
So I offer you the satisfaction.

COBB
That's not how I deal with things.

SAITO
Would you work with him again?

Cobb shakes his head. Saito's BODYGUARDS PULL Nash from the
chopper. Saito motions Cobb and Arthur to sit. The chopper
RISES. Cobb watches Nash DRAGGED across the pad.

COBB
What will you do to him?

SAITO
Nothing. But I can't speak for your
friends from Cobol Engineering.

Saito looks out at the city slipping by.

COBB
What do you want from us?

SAITO
Inception.

Arthur raises his eyebrows. Cobb is poker-faced.

SAITO
Is it possible?

ARTHUR
Of course not.

SAITO
If you can steal an idea from
someone's mind, why can't you plant
one there instead?

ARTHUR
Okay, here's planting an idea: I
say to you, "Don't think about
elephants."
(MORE)
22.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
(Saito nods)
What are you thinking about?

SAITO
Elephants.

ARTHUR
Right. But it's not your idea
because you know I gave it to you.

SAITO
You could plant it subconsciously-

ARTHUR
The subject's mind can always trace
the genesis of the idea. True
inspiration is impossible to fake.

COBB
No, it isn't.

SAITO
Can you do it?

COBB
I won't do it.

SAITO
In exchange, I'll give you the
information you were paid to steal.

COBB
Are you giving me a choice? Because
I can find my own way to square
things with Cobol.

SAITO
Then you do have a choice.

COBB
And I choose to leave.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary On a rooftop helipad at night, Cobb and Arthur confront Saito after discovering Nash, who has been beaten for betraying Cobb. Saito offers Cobb a job involving 'inception,' but Cobb firmly refuses, expressing his desire to escape to Buenos Aires. Arthur supports Cobb, challenging the feasibility of planting an idea. The scene is tense, highlighting themes of betrayal and moral conflict, as Cobb asserts his choice to reject Saito's proposition.
Strengths
  • Complex dialogue
  • Tension
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a complex dialogue that delves into the core concept of the film. The tension and suspense are palpable, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of 'Inception' is introduced and explored in depth, setting the stage for the rest of the film. The idea of planting an idea subconsciously adds layers of complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as Saito presents the team with a new challenge, setting the stage for the main mission of the film. The scene moves the story forward significantly.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh ideas about the ethics of inception and explores the concept of true inspiration in a unique and thought-provoking way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Cobb, Arthur, and Saito are well-developed and their motivations are clear. The dynamic between Cobb and Saito adds depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb's character undergoes a subtle shift as he grapples with the moral implications of Saito's request. His internal conflict is heightened, setting the stage for his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his moral integrity and resist the temptation to engage in unethical behavior, despite the pressure from Saito.

External Goal: 9

Cobb's external goal is to navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in and protect himself and his team from harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb and Saito, as well as the internal conflict within Cobb, adds layers of tension to the scene. The high stakes and conflicting motivations drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Cobb is faced with difficult choices and conflicting motivations that challenge his beliefs and values.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the tense dynamic between Cobb and Saito, as well as the consequences of their mission. The characters' lives are on the line, adding urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new mission and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets the stage for the main conflict of the film.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' decisions and the moral dilemmas they face.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of inception and the idea of true inspiration. Cobb and Arthur debate the morality and feasibility of planting ideas in someone's mind without their knowledge.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact is primarily driven by Cobb's internal struggle and guilt over his past. The scene sets up a complex emotional journey for the characters.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and drives the scene forward. It delves into complex concepts while revealing the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, moral dilemmas, and intellectual debate. The tension between the characters keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual buildup of tension and conflict that leads to a dramatic climax. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, with a buildup of tension and conflict that leads to a dramatic climax. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt, which might confuse the reader. Consider smoother transitions between locations and time jumps.
  • The dialogue in the helicopter scene could benefit from more subtext and tension, as the characters navigate their newfound mistrust and alliances.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some sections feeling rushed and others dragging. Ensure a consistent tempo that maintains the reader's interest.
Suggestions
  • Add more description and sensory details to the helicopter scene, such as the sound of the rotors, the feeling of the leather interior, and the dim lighting. This will help immerse the reader in the setting.
  • Explore the emotional turmoil of the characters, especially Cobb, as they confront the consequences of Nash's betrayal. This could add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider reworking the dialogue in the helicopter scene to include more subtle threats and power plays between the characters, heightening the tension and uncertainty.



Scene 8 -  A Desperate Proposition
EXT. AIRFIELD - MOMENTS LATER

The helicopter sets down next to a PRIVATE JET.

INT. HELICOPTER - CONTINUOUS

Saito indicates the plane.

SAITO
Tell the crew where you want to go,
they'll file the plan en route.

Cobb and Arthur look at each other. Then move for the door.
23.

SAITO
Mr. Cobb...? There is one other
thing I could offer you.
(Cobb stops)
How would you like to go home? To
America. To your children.

Cobb turns back to Saito.

COBB
You can't fix that. Nobody could.

SAITO
Just like inception.

Cobb considers this. Arthur touches his arm.

ARTHUR
Cobb, come on-

COBB
How complex is the idea?

SAITO
Simple enough.

COBB
No idea's simple when you have to
plant it in someone else's mind.

SAITO
My main competitor is an old man in
poor health. His son will soon
inherit control of the corporation.
I need him to decide to break up
his father's empire. Against his
own self-interest.

ARTHUR
Cobb, we should walk away from
this.

COBB
If I were to do it. If I could do
it... how do I know you can
deliver?

SAITO
You don't. But I can. So do you
want to take a leap of faith, or
become an old man, filled with
regret, waiting to die alone?

Cobb looks at Saito. Barely nods.
24.

SAITO
Assemble your team, Mr. Cobb. And
choose your people more wisely.

INT. PRIVATE JET - LATER

Cobb reclines his seat. Arthur picks at a salad, angry.

ARTHUR
I know how much you want to go home-

COBB
(sharp)
No, you don't.

ARTHUR
But this can't be done.

COBB
It can. You just have to go deep
enough.

ARTHUR
You don't know that!-

COBB
I've done it before.

Arthur is taken aback. Cobb turns to the window.

ARTHUR
Did it work?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes.

ARTHUR
Who did you do it to?

Cobb looks at Arthur. Closed. Arthur shrugs.

ARTHUR
So why are we headed to Paris?

COBB
We're going to need a new
architect.

INT. GREAT HALL, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MORNING

Cobb, carrying a shopping bag, looks into a lecture hall: no
students, just a RUMPLED PROFESSOR hunched over paperwork.
25.

INT. LECTURE HALL - CONTINUOUS

COBB (O.S.)
You never did like your office.

PROFESSOR MILES looks up, squinting. Recognizes Cobb.

MILES
No space to think in that broom
cupboard.

Cobb steps down past the empty wooden rows.

MILES
Is it safe for you to be here?

COBB
Extradition between France and the
U.S. is a bureaucratic nightmare.

MILES
I think they'd find a way to make
it work in your case.

Cobb hand Miles the shopping bag.

COBB
Can you take these back for the
kids?

MILES
It'll take more than the occasional
stuffed animal to convince those
children they still have a father.

COBB
I know. I thought you could talk to
Marie about bringing them on
vacation. Somewhere I could meet-

MILES
Why would she listen to me?

COBB
You were married for twenty years.

MILES
She blames me as much as you.

COBB
Doesn't she understand that my kids
need me?
26.

MILES
Yes, she does. We all do. Go back
and face the music, Dom. Explain
what Mal did.

COBB
Be realistic, Stephen. They'd never
understand− they'd lock me up and
throwaway the key. Or worse.

MILES
You think what you're doing now is
helping your case?

COBB
Lawyers don't pay for themselves.
This is what I have. This is what
you taught me.

MILES
I never taught you to be a thief.

COBB
No, you taught me to navigate other
people's minds. But after what
happened with Mal there weren't a
whole lot of legitimate ways for me
to use that skill.

Miles looks at Cobb.

MILES
Why did you come here, Dom?

Cobb shifts slightly.

COBB
I found a way home. A job. For
powerful people. If I pull it off,
I can get back to my family. But I
need help.

Miles realizes something.

MILES
My God. You're here to corrupt one
of my brightest and best.

COBB
If you have someone good enough,
you have to let them decide for
themselves. You know what I'm
offering-

MILES
Money?
27.

COBB
No, not just money: the chance to
build cathedrals, entire cities-
things that have never existed,
things that couldn't exist in the
real world...

MILES
Everybody dreams, Cobb. Architects
are supposed to make those dreams
real.

COBB
That's not what you used to say.
You told me that in the real world
I'd be building attic conversions
and gas stations. You said that if
I mastered the dream-share I'd have
a whole new way of creating and
showing people my creations. You
told me it would free me.

Miles looks at Cobb, sad.

MILES
And I'm sorry. I was wrong.

COBB
No, you weren't. Your vision was a
vision of pure creativity. It's
where we took it that was wrong.

MILES
And now you want me to let someone
else follow you into fantasy.

COBB
They won't actually come on the
job, they'll just design the levels
and teach them to the dreamers.

MILES
Design them yourself.

COBB
Mal won't let me.

Miles looks at Cobb. Appalled.

MILES
Come back to reality, Dom. Please.

COBB
You want to know what's real,
Stephen? Your grandchildren waiting
for their dad to come back.
(MORE)
28.
COBB (CONT'D)
This job-this last job-is how I get
there.

Miles looks down, fiddles with his papers.

COBB
I wouldn't be standing here if
there were any other way. I can get
home. But I need an architect who's
as good as I was.

Miles looks Cobb in the eye. Decides.

MILES
I've got someone better.
Genres: ["Thriller","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Cobb and Arthur arrive at an airfield where Saito offers Cobb a chance to return to America and see his children if he agrees to perform inception on a rival CEO's son. Despite Arthur's concerns about the moral implications, Cobb is drawn to the possibility of reuniting with his family. On a private jet, Cobb reveals his past experience with inception and they decide to find a new architect for the job. Visiting Professor Miles at an architecture school, Cobb expresses his desperation and the ethical dilemmas he faces, leading to Miles agreeing to help him find an architect.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Intense dialogue
  • Intriguing concept
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Lack of visual action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, emotionally charged, and sets up important plot points for the story. The dialogue is well-written and reveals depth in the characters' relationships and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of 'inception' and the ethical dilemmas surrounding it are intriguing and thought-provoking. The scene sets up a complex heist involving dreams and manipulation of reality, adding layers of depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing a new mission and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up the central conflict and establishes the goals for the protagonist.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts like dream-sharing and explores complex themes of guilt, redemption, and manipulation. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their internal struggles are effectively portrayed. The scene delves into their pasts, motivations, and relationships, adding complexity to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo internal changes and confront their pasts, motivations, and desires. Their decisions and interactions in this scene set up potential character arcs and development in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to find a way back home to America and reunite with his children. This reflects his deeper desire for redemption and reconciliation with his past actions.

External Goal: 9

Cobb's external goal is to successfully complete a job that will allow him to return to his family. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving internal struggles, moral dilemmas, and external threats. The characters face difficult choices and confrontations, raising the tension and stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing moral dilemmas, conflicting motivations, and uncertain outcomes. The audience is left wondering how the characters will navigate these challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters face moral dilemmas, internal conflicts, and external threats. The decisions they make will have far-reaching consequences, adding tension and urgency to the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing a new mission, raising the stakes, and setting up key plot points. It establishes the goals and conflicts for the characters, driving the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the uncertain outcome of their decisions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in the scene revolves around the ethical implications of planting ideas in someone else's mind and manipulating their decisions. This challenges Cobb's values and beliefs about the consequences of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, delving into themes of guilt, regret, and longing. The characters' internal struggles and conflicts add depth and emotional resonance to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and drives the scene forward. It reveals the characters' inner thoughts and conflicts, adding depth to their interactions and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and suspenseful dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' conflicts and motivations.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and introspective moments. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive elements. The pacing and rhythm are well-executed.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and plot progression. It effectively sets up the central conflict and establishes the stakes for the protagonist.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear dialogue and character development, but it could benefit from more visual descriptions to help set the scene and create a stronger mental image for the reader.
  • The pacing of the scene is slightly uneven, with some sections of dialogue feeling drawn out. Consider tightening up these sections to maintain the reader's engagement.
  • The emotional tension between Cobb and Arthur is present but could be more pronounced. Explore ways to heighten the emotional stakes and make their relationship more palpable.
Suggestions
  • Add more sensory details and visual descriptions to the scene, such as the appearance of the private jet's interior, the expressions on the characters' faces, and the atmosphere of the airfield.
  • Consider rephrasing or reorganizing some of the dialogue to improve the pacing and make the scene feel more dynamic.
  • Develop the emotional tension between Cobb and Arthur by incorporating more non-verbal communication, such as gestures, body language, and facial expressions, to convey their feelings and reactions to each other.



Scene 9 -  The Maze of Dreams
INT. CORRIDOR - LATER

Miles and Cobb stand by as STUDENTS file out of a lecture.

MILES
Ariadne...

A young woman carrying books turns. This is ARIADNE.

MILES
I'd like you to meet Mr. Cobb.

She sizes him up with quick eyes. Offers her hand.

ARIADNE
Pleased to meet you.

MILES
If you have a few moments, Mr. Cobb
has a job offer to discuss with
you.

ARIADNE
A work placement?

COBB
(smiles
Not exactly.

EXT. ROOFTOP, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MOMENTS LATER

Ariadne leans against the parapet, overlooking Paris. She
unwraps a sandwich, watching Cobb pull out a pad of GRAPH
PAPER and a PEN. He offers them. She bites her sandwich.

COBB
A test.
29.

ARIADNE
(mouth full)
Aren't you going to tell me
anything?

COBB
Before I describe the job, I have
to know you could do it.

ARIADNE
Why?

COBB
It's not, strictly speaking, legal.

Ariadne raises her eyebrows.

COBB
You have two minutes to draw a maze
that takes me one minute to solve.

Ariadne takes the pad and pen. Cobb looks at his watch.

COBB
Go.

She starts DRAWING LINES on the grid, constructing a maze.

COBB
Stop.

Ariadne hands the pad and pen to Cobb. He glances at the pad,
then, looking her in the eye, TRACES the solution. She is
taken aback. Cobb RIPS off the sheet, hands the pad back.

COBB
Again.

She traces straight lines, CONCENTRATING...

COBB
Stop.

She hands Cobb the pad, a touch pleased. Cobb solves the
puzzle instantly, as before. Her smile falls.

COBB
You'll have to-

She GRABS the pad, frustrated... but this time she FLIPS it
over and starts drawing on the BLANK CARDBOARD of the back.
Cobb watches, surprised. He smiles as he sees that she's
drawing CIRCLES, creating a maze based on concentric rings.

Ariadne hands back the pad, defiant. Cobb takes the pen,
starts the maze. This time he gets stuck. Nods.
30.

COBB
(working the maze)
More like it.

EXT. NARROW STREET, PARIS - DAY

Arthur stops at a warehouse door. Consults a piece of paper.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

A large, dusty warehouse. The SLIDING DOOR cracks open.
Arthur enters. Looks around, approvingly.

INT. SAME - LATER

Arthur DRAGS LAWN CHAIRS into the middle of the room. He
erects a table. Lays out several SILVER CASES, unpacking
them, laying out lines of tubing, MECHANISMS...

EXT. PARISIAN CAFE - DAY

Cobb and Ariadne sit at an outdoor table.

COBB
They say we only use a fraction of
the true potential of our brains...
but they're talking about when
we're awake. While we dream, the
mind performs wonders.

ARIADNE
Such as?

COBB
How do you imagine a building? You
consciously create each aspect,
puzzling over it in stages... But
sometimes, when your imagination
flies-

ARIADNE
I'm discovering it.

COBB
Exactly. Genuine inspiration.

Cobb leans forwards and draws on the paper table cloth.

COBB
In a dream your mind continuously
does that...

Cobb has drawn a circle made of two arrows.
31.

COBB
It creates and perceives a world
simultaneously. So well that you
don't feel your brain doing the
creating. That's why we can short-
circuit the process...

ARIADNE
How?

COBB
By taking over the creating part.

Cobb draws a straight line between the two arrows.

COBB
This is where you come in. You
build the world of the dream. We
take the subject into that dream,
and let him £111 it with his
subconscious

ARIADNE
But are you trying to fool him that
the dream is actually real life?

COBB
(nods)
While we're in there, We don't want
him to realize he's dreaming.

ARIADNE
How could I ever get enough detail
to Convince him that it's real?

COBB
Our dreams reel real while we're in
them. It's only when we wake up we
realize things were strange,

Ariadne gestures around them-

ARIADNE
But all the textures of real life-
the stone, the fabric. cars...
people... your mind can't create
all this.

COBB
It does. Every time you dream. Let
me ask you a question: You never
remember the beginning of your
dreams, do you? You just turn up in
the middle of what's going on.
32.

ARIADNE
I guess.

COBB
So... how did we end up at this
restaurant?

ARIADNE
We came here from...

Ariadne trails off, confused.

COBB
How did we get here? Where are we?

Ariadne THINKS, unable to remember. A FAINT RUMBLE begins.

ARIADNE
Oh my God. We're dreaming.

Cobb nods. The RUMBLE is BUILDING.

COBB
Stay calm. We're actually asleep in
the workshop. This is your first
lesson in shared dreaming,
remember?

Ariadne looks around, mind REELING. Cobb BRACES-

The restaurant VIOLENTLY FRAGMENTS, EXPLODING AND IMPLODING
PARTICLES OF FURNITURE, WALLS, PEOPLE FLYING AROUND- Ariadne
WONDERS at the MAYHEM WHIRLING around them- Cobb SHIELDS his
head against the debris. She sees him-

ARIADNE
(shouting over noise)
If it's just a dream, why are you
covering your-

Ariadne is WIPED FROM HER SEAT BY A MASSIVE BLAST and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary In a Parisian café, Miles introduces Cobb to Ariadne, a talented student, presenting her with a job opportunity in dream manipulation. Cobb tests Ariadne's skills by challenging her to create a maze, which she initially struggles with but ultimately impresses him with a complex design. Their conversation delves into the nature of dreams, leading to the shocking realization that they are currently dreaming. The scene escalates into chaos as the café violently disintegrates around them.
Strengths
  • Innovative concept
  • Tension-building
  • Character depth
Weaknesses
  • Slightly confusing transitions
  • Some dialogue may be too expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, introducing a unique concept and building tension effectively. The use of dreams and the test of creating a maze add depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of shared dreaming and the ability to manipulate dreams is innovative and intriguing. The test of creating a maze within a dream adds a layer of complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the characters delve into the world of shared dreaming and face challenges within the dream. The introduction of the job offer and the test of creating a maze add depth to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of shared dreaming and explores the psychological and ethical implications of manipulating dreams. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Cobb and Ariadne, show depth and complexity as they navigate the challenges of shared dreaming. Their interactions and reactions to the dream world add intrigue to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

Ariadne experiences a shift in perception and understanding as she realizes she is in a dream and begins to explore the concept of shared dreaming. Cobb's mentorship and guidance also contribute to character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Ariadne's internal goal is to prove her skills and abilities to Cobb, showcasing her creativity and problem-solving capabilities.

External Goal: 9

Ariadne's external goal is to understand the job offer presented by Cobb and to demonstrate her potential value to him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the characters' realization that they are in a dream and the chaotic nature of the dream world. The tension and uncertainty add to the conflict in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Ariadne facing challenges in proving her abilities to Cobb and grappling with the ethical implications of shared dreaming.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are present as the characters navigate the dream world, face challenges, and explore the concept of shared dreaming. The consequences of failure and the mysterious nature of dreams heighten the stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the concept of shared dreaming, testing the characters' abilities, and setting up the job offer involving inception. It adds depth to the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and the revelation of shared dreaming.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of entering someone's dreams without their knowledge or consent. This challenges Ariadne's beliefs about boundaries and privacy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes emotions of confusion, curiosity, and anxiety as the characters navigate the dream world and face unexpected challenges. The explosive and chaotic nature of dreams adds to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne is engaging and serves to explain the concept of shared dreaming effectively. It also reveals the characters' motivations and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of mystery, suspense, and character development. The dialogue and action keep the audience invested in the unfolding story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and suspenseful moments that keep the story moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and plot progression. It maintains tension and intrigue throughout.


Critique
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the previous one, with the introduction of Ariadne and the job offer. However, the pacing could be improved by shortening some of the dialogue and making the exposition more concise.
  • The setting and visuals are well-described, creating a vivid image of Paris and the rooftop. The contrast between the bustling lecture hall and the quiet rooftop adds depth to the scene.
  • Cobb's character is well-established, showing his determination and expertise in the field. Ariadne's character is also introduced effectively, showcasing her intelligence and quick thinking.
  • The concept of dream manipulation and the rules of the dream world are intriguing, but the scene could benefit from more clarity regarding the specifics of the process and its implications.
Suggestions
  • Consider shortening some of the dialogue, especially in the beginning, to quicken the pacing and create more tension.
  • Add more details about the dream world and its rules, making it easier for the reader to understand the stakes and the process.
  • Explore Cobb's emotional state further, as his guilt and longing for his family could add depth to his character and the scene.
  • Develop Ariadne's character more by showing her reactions to the dream world and her thoughts on the job offer, creating a stronger connection with the reader.



Scene 10 -  Dreams and Dangers
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne JOLTS awake.

COBB (O.S.)
Because it's never just a dream.

Ariadne turns to Cobb's voice. They are both sitting in the
lawn chairs. Arthur watches over them.
33.

COBB
And a face full of glass hurts like
hell, doesn't it? While we're in
it, it's real.

ARTHUR
That's why the military developed
dream sharing-a training program
where soldiers could strangle, stab
and shoot each other, then wake up.

ARIADNE
How did architects get involved?

COBB
Someone had to design the dreams.
(to Arthur)
Let's go another five minutes-

ARIADNE
We were only asleep for five
minutes? We talked for an hour at
least...

COBB
When you dream, your mind functions
more quickly, so time seems to pass
more slowly.

ARTHUR
Five minutes in the real world
gives you an hour in the dream.

COBB
Let's see how much trouble you can
cause in five minutes.

And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SAME PARISIAN STREET - DAY

Ariadne walks down the crowded street with Cobb. Cobb looks
around at the street, the cafe, approving.

COBB
It's good. You've got the cafe, the
layout... you forgot the book shop
but pretty much everything else is
here.

Ariadne looks at the passers-by.

ARIADNE
Who are the people?
34.

COBB
They’re projections of my
subconscious.

ARIADNE
Yours?

COBB
Sure-you are the dreamer, I am the
subject. My subconscious populates
your world. That's one way we get
at a subject's thoughts-his mind
creates the people, so we can
literally talk to his subconscious.

ARIADNE
How else do you do it?

COBB
Architecture. Build a bank vault or
a jail, something secure, and the
subject's mind will fill it with
information he's trying to protect.

ARIADNE
Then you break in and steal it.

COBB
Exactly.

Ariadne wonders at the detail of the street.

ARIADNE
I love the concrete sense of things-
(stamps foot)
Real weight, you know? I thought a
dream space would be all about the
visual, but it's the feel of
things. Question is, what happens
as you start to mess with
physics...

She CONCENTRATES on the street. The street starts to BEND IN
HALF− the buildings on either side FOLDING IN until they form
the INSIDE OF A CUBE OF CITY, GRAVITY FUNCTIONING
INDEPENDENTLY ON EACH PLANE. Ariadne looks up (or down) at
the people on the opposite city surface. Cobb watches her
excitement.

ARIADNE
It's something, isn't it?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes. It is.
35.

As they walk, Ariadne notices more and more of the
projections STARING at her.

ARIADNE
Why are they looking at me?

COBB
Because you're changing things. My
subconscious feels that someone
else is creating the world. The
more you change things, the quicker
the projections converge on you.

ARIADNE
Converge?

COBB
They feel the foreign nature of the
dreamer, and attack-like white
blood cells fighting an infection.

ARIADNE
They're going to attack us?

COBB
Just you, actually.

They walk along the street to where it joins the next
gravitational plane. They step up onto the different plane
and walk down the street towards a river. As Ariadne
approaches, steps emerge from the flagstone, and she leads
Cobb up onto a small jetty. As she concentrates, pillars
emerge and a BRIDGE starts to telescope out from the jetty.
They step onto it as it grows. Cobb is impressed.

COBB
It's beautiful... but if you keep
on changing things...

People crossing the bridge STARE at Ariadne. Several of them
BUMP her shoulder as they pass.

ARIADNE
Mind telling your subconscious to
take it easy?

COBB
That’s why it’s called subconscious.
I don’t control it.

The bridge now spans the Seine. Cobb marvels at it.

COBB
Arched stone, iron pillars...
it's...
36.

Cobb pauses, thinking. Remembering.

INSERT CUT: Mal, hair blowing, turns to Cobb, smiling,
laughing. He smiles back. They are on the same bridge.

COBB
I know this bridge. This place is
real−
(serious)
You didn't imagine it, you
remembered it...

ARIADNE
(nods)
I cross it every day on my way to
the college.

COBB
Never recreate places from your
memory. Always imagine new places.

ARIADNE
You have to draw from what you know-

COBB
(tense)
Use pieces-a streetlamp,
phonebooths, a type of brick-not
whole areas.

Several people around them ECHO Cobb's attitude...

ARIADNE
Why not?

COBB
Because building dreams out of your
own memories is the surest way to
lose your grip on what's real and
what's a dream.

ARIADNE
Did that happen to you?

Cobb says nothing. He stands there, starinq at Ariadne.
PEOPLE around her stop and look at her, hostile.

COBB
Look, this isn't about me-

Cobb reaches for Ariadne's arm, turns her to him-

ARIADNE
Is that why you need me to build
your dreams?
37.

A passerby GRABS Ariadne's shoulder-

COBB
Leave her alone-

More of the crowd join in, PULLING at Ariadne, holding her
arms open- Cobb PULLS people off- the crowd PUSHES him away-
Cobb sees someone WALKING PURPOSEFULLY through the crowd
towards the helpless, Ariadne- it is Mal. She approaches with
even strides- Ariadne stares at her, uneasy.

ARIADNE
Wake me up, Cobb.

As Mal walks, she pulls out a LARGE KNIFE-

COBB
Mal, no!

ARIADNE
Wake me up!

Ariadne SCREAMS as Mal LUNGES at her with the knife and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Thriller","Action"]

Summary In a dream world resembling a Parisian street, Ariadne learns about dream architecture from Cobb, who warns her about the risks of using memories in dream construction. As Ariadne showcases her skills by bending the environment, projections from Cobb's subconscious, feeling threatened by her alterations, begin to converge on her. The tension escalates when Mal, Cobb's deceased wife, appears and attacks Ariadne with a knife, leaving her screaming for Cobb to wake her up.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Intriguing concept of dream manipulation
  • Emotional depth and complexity
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Potential for confusion with the dream-reality dynamics

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines elements of science fiction, thriller, and action genres to create a gripping and immersive experience for the audience. The tension, suspense, and emotional impact are all well-executed, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of dream sharing, subconscious projections, and manipulating reality within dreams is central to the scene. It is explored in depth, adding layers of complexity and intrigue to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing new challenges, conflicts, and revelations for the characters. The confrontation with Mal and the exploration of dream architecture add depth to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts of dream sharing and manipulation, exploring the psychological and ethical implications of altering memories and reality. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Cobb and Ariadne, are well-developed in this scene. Their interactions, emotions, and motivations drive the narrative forward and create compelling dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Ariadne experiences a significant shift in her understanding of dream manipulation and the dangers involved. Cobb's past with Mal is hinted at, adding layers to his character. The scene sets the stage for further character development and revelations.

Internal Goal: 8

Ariadne's internal goal is to understand the intricacies of dream manipulation and architecture, reflecting her curiosity and desire to master the dream world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully navigate and manipulate the dream world to achieve a specific outcome, such as extracting information or completing a mission.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving physical, emotional, and psychological elements. The presence of Mal as a threatening force raises the stakes and creates a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing hostile projections, ethical dilemmas, and a threatening presence from the past, creating obstacles and challenges that drive the conflict forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters facing physical danger, emotional turmoil, and moral dilemmas. The threat of Mal and the consequences of dream manipulation raise the stakes to a critical level.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges, conflicts, and alliances. It sets the characters on a path towards inception and explores the complexities of dream manipulation in a compelling way.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden shifts in the dream world, the emergence of hostile projections, and the unexpected appearance of Mal, adding tension and suspense to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of manipulating dreams and memories, as well as the blurred lines between reality and dreams. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the nature of reality and the consequences of their actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, confusion, and curiosity in the audience, drawing them into the characters' emotional turmoil and high-stakes situation. The interactions between characters and the presence of danger heighten the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and serves to reveal character traits, advance the plot, and build tension. It effectively conveys the complexities of dream manipulation and the emotional stakes involved.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of technical explanations, emotional moments, and suspenseful interactions, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey through the dream world.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a balance of exposition, character interactions, and action sequences that maintain a dynamic rhythm and keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between different locations and character interactions, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother, making it harder for the reader to follow the flow of the story. Consider using more gradual transitions to maintain the reader's engagement.
  • The dialogue in the scene is informative and helps to explain the concept of dream sharing, but it could be more concise and engaging. Try to balance the explanations with more natural and dynamic dialogue.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, with long stretches of dialogue followed by sudden action. This inconsistency might make it difficult for the reader to fully immerse themselves in the story.
Suggestions
  • Smoother scene transitions will help the reader follow the story more easily. Use fading in/out, slow zooms, or other subtle visual cues to make the transitions feel more natural.
  • Edit the dialogue to be more concise and engaging, while still conveying the necessary information about dream sharing. Use subtext and character interactions to make the dialogue feel more natural and dynamic.
  • Adjust the pacing of the scene to create a more consistent flow. Break up long stretches of dialogue with brief moments of action or description, and ensure that the scene's progression feels smooth and natural.



Scene 11 -  Navigating Dreams and Distrust
INT. WORKSHOP-DAY

Ariadne WAKES, BREATHING HARD. Arthur moves to her-

ARTHUR
It's okay.

ARIADNE
Why couldn’t I wake?

ARTHUR
The only way to wake from inside
the dream is to die.

Cobb, in the lawn chair opposite, PULLS his tubes out.

COBB
She'll need a totem.

ARIADNE
What?

ARTHUR
Some kind of personal icon. A small
object that you can always have
with you, and that no one else
knows,

Cobb gets to his feet, Ariadne stares at him, furious. He
heads to the bathroom.
38.

ARIADNE
That's some subconscious you've
got, Cobb.
(calls after him)
She's a real charmer!

ARTHUR
Sounds like you've met Mrs. Cobb.

ARIADNE
(surprised)
She's his wife?

Arthur nods, pulling off Ariadne's tubes.

ARTHUR
So. A totem. You need something
small, potentially heavy...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb takes out his PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
marble counter...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks at Arthur, puzzled.

ARIADNE
Like a coin?

ARTHUR
Too common. You need something that
has a weight or movement that only
you know.

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb STUDIES the spin of the top as it decays, becoming more
and more ECCENTRIC...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

ARIADNE
What’s yours?

Arthur holds out a DIE.

ARTHUR
A loaded die.

Ariadne reaches for it- Arthur snatches sit away-
39.

ARTHUR
I can’t let you handle it. That’s
the point. No one else can know the
weight or balance of it.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
So when you examine your totem...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb’s spinning top WOBBLES OVER.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
You know, beyond a doubt, that
you’re not in someone else’s dream.

Cobb GRABS it like a drowning man reaching for a lifeline.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne thinks this over.

ARIADNE
That’s not an issue for me.

ARTHUR
Why not?

ARIADNE
Arthur, maybe you can’t see what’s
going on, maybe you don’t want to.
But Cobb’s got problems he’s tried
to bury down there. I’m not going
to open my mind to someone like
that.

Ariadne gets to her feet. Walks away.

COBB (O.S.)
She’ll be back.

Arthur turns. Cobb is standing in the bathroom doorway.

COBB
I’ve never seen anyone pick it up
so fast. And one reality won’t be
enough for her now. When she comes
back, get her building mazes.

ARTHUR
Where will you be?
40.

COBB
I’ve got to talk to Eames.

ARTHUR
Eames? But he’s in Mombasa. Cobol’s
backyard.

COBB
Necessary risk.

ARTHUR
There are plenty of other thieves.

COBB
We don’t just need a thief. We need
a forger.
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary Ariadne wakes up in a workshop, feeling confused and frightened after a dream. Arthur reassures her and explains the concept of totems, which help distinguish reality from dreams. Cobb spins his pewter top to demonstrate, but Ariadne expresses her reluctance to work with him due to her concerns about his unresolved issues. Despite her decision to leave the conversation, Cobb believes she will return and instructs Arthur to assist her in building mazes.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intriguing concept of totems
  • Introduction of new character Ariadne
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, introducing new concepts and characters while maintaining a tense and mysterious tone. The dialogue is sharp and reveals important information about the characters' motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of totems and the exploration of dreams within dreams are intriguing and well-developed. The introduction of Ariadne adds depth to the story and raises questions about the nature of reality.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Cobb and Arthur discuss their next steps, introducing the idea of performing inception on a rival CEO's son. The scene sets up important decisions and conflicts that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces the concept of totems as a unique way to distinguish between reality and dreams, adding depth to the characters' motivations and actions.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Cobb and Ariadne, are well-defined and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. The introduction of Ariadne adds a new dynamic to the group.

Character Changes: 8

Ariadne undergoes a significant change in this scene, from curiosity and determination to skepticism and caution towards Cobb. Cobb also shows vulnerability and desperation in his interactions with Ariadne.

Internal Goal: 8

Ariadne's internal goal is to understand the rules and dangers of the dream world, reflecting her desire for control and safety.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to help Ariadne navigate the dream world and protect her from its dangers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internal (Cobb's guilt and subconscious struggles) and external (the decision to perform inception and the introduction of a new character, Ariadne). The tension is palpable throughout.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and motivations.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters grapple with the decision to perform inception and the potential consequences of their actions. Cobb's desire to return to his family adds an emotional weight to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing new concepts, conflicts, and characters that will drive the plot forward. The decision to perform inception on a rival CEO's son sets up the next major plot point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters and the introduction of new concepts like totems.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between trusting others with personal vulnerabilities and maintaining control over one's own mind and emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, particularly in Cobb's interactions with Ariadne and his struggle with guilt and his past. The introduction of Ariadne adds a new emotional dynamic to the group.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and reveals important information about the characters' pasts and motivations. It also sets up conflicts and decisions that will drive the plot forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intriguing concept of totems, and character dynamics.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a psychological thriller, with a focus on character development and tension-building.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear dialogue and character interactions that move the story forward. The concept of totems is well-explained, and the introduction of Mal as Cobb's deceased wife adds depth to the story.
  • The pacing of the scene is good, and the tension between Ariadne and Cobb is palpable. The use of parallel action between Cobb in the bathroom and Ariadne's conversation with Arthur is effective in building suspense.
  • The introduction of the concept of totems is crucial to the story, and the scene does an excellent job of explaining it. The dialogue between Arthur and Ariadne is clear and concise, making it easy for the reader to understand the importance of a personal totem.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the scene to make it more immersive for the reader. For example, describe the texture of the totems or the sound of the spinning top.
  • Consider adding more backstory to Cobb's character to help the reader understand why he has such a complicated relationship with his subconscious. This could be done through a flashback or a conversation between Cobb and another character.
  • Consider adding more tension to the scene by having Ariadne express more skepticism about the idea of dream sharing. This could make her decision to leave the conversation more impactful and add more conflict to the story.



Scene 12 -  A Gamble for Loyalty
INT. GAMBLING DEN, MOMBASA - DAY

Crowded, bustling, smoke-filled. a westerner (40’s), shabby
suit, is squeezed in at a dice game. This is EAMES. He
FIDDLES with his last two chips.

COBB (O.S.)
Rub them against each other all you
like, they’re not going to breed.

Eames looks up to see Cobb.

EAMES
You never know.

Eames tosses down his last chips. The dice are rolled...

COBB
Drink?

Eames loses.

EAMES
You’re buying.

Cobb follows Eames. Eames mysteriously produces two stacks of
chips and puts them down in front of the cashier. Cobb pulls
one off the top, squints at the embossed name.

COBB
You’re spelling hasn’t improved.

Eames GRABS the chip. Hands it to the cashier.

EAMES
Piss off.

COBB
How’s your handwriting?
41.

Eames takes his money. Smiles at Cobb.

EAMES
Versatile.

INT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Eames leads Cobb down the quiet street.

EAMES
Word is, you’re not welcome in
these parts.

COBB
Yeah?

EAMES
There’s a price on your head from
Cobol Engineering. Pretty big one,
actually.

COBB
You wouldn’t sell me out.

Eames looks at Cobb, offended.

EAMES
‘Course I would.

COBB
(smiles)
Not when you hear what I’m selling.

EXT. BALCONY OF A COFFEE HOUSE - LATER

A ramshackle balcony overlooking a bust street. Eames pours.

COBB
Inception.

Eames’s glass stops halfway to his mouth.

COBB
Don’t bother telling me it’s
impossible.

EAMES
It’s perfectly possible. Just
bloody difficult.

COBB
That’s what I keep saying to
Arthur.
42.

EAMES
Arthur? You’re still working with
that stick-in-the-mud?

COBB
He’s a good point man.

EAMES
The best. But he has no
imagination. If you’re going to
perform inception, you need
imagination.

COBB
You’ve done it before?

EAMES
Yeas and no. We tried it. Got the
idea in place, but it didn’t take.

COBB
You didn’t plant it deep enough?

EAMES
It’s not just about depth. You need
the simplest version of the idea-
the one that will grow naturally in
the subject’s mind. Subtle art.

COBB
That’s why I’m here.

EAMES
What’s the idea you need to plant?

COBB
We want the heir to a major
corporation to break up his
father’s empire.

EAMES
See, right there you’ve got various
political motivations, anti-
monopolistic sentiment and so
forth. But all that stuff’s at the
mercy of the subject’s prejudice-
you have to go to the basic.

COBB
Which is?

EAMES
The relationship with the father.
(downs drink)
Do you have a chemist?
43.

Cobb shakes his head.

EAMES
There’s a man here. Yusuf. He
formulates his own versions of the
compounds.

COBB
Let’s go see him.

EAMES
Once you’ve lost your tail.
(Cobb reacts)
Back by the bar, blue tie. Came in
about two minutes after we did.

COBB
Cobol Engineering?

EAMES
They pretty much own Mombasa.

Cobb glances over the balcony.

COBB
Run interference. We’ll meet
downstairs in half an hour.

EAMES
Back here?

COBB
Last place they’d expect.

Eames downs his drink. Rises. Walks over to the Businessman.

EAMES
Freddy!

The Businessman looks up, awkward.

EAMES
Freddy Simmonds, it is you!

Cobb nonchalantly SLIPS over the balcony DROPPING HARD into
the midst of the crowd on the street below.

EAMES
(looks harder)
Oh. No, it isn’t.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a bustling gambling den in Mombasa, Eames loses his last chips while engaging in a dice game. Cobb finds him and reveals a job proposal involving inception, despite a bounty on his head from Cobol Engineering. Eames expresses his loyalty to Cobb and discusses the complexities of planting an idea in someone's mind, suggesting they need a chemist named Yusuf. As they strategize, Eames warns Cobb about a pursuer from Cobol Engineering. The scene culminates with Cobb making a dramatic escape from the balcony to avoid capture.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Mysterious atmosphere
  • Introduction of new character Eames
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Character development is secondary to plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces a new character, advances the plot with the concept of inception, and sets up a high-stakes mission. The dialogue is engaging and hints at complex character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of inception is introduced and explored in depth, setting the stage for the main plot of the film. The scene effectively conveys the complexity and challenges of planting an idea in someone's mind.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced with the introduction of Eames and the discussion of the inception mission. The scene sets up the main conflict and establishes the high stakes involved in the mission.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the heist genre by incorporating the concept of inception and exploring the moral implications of manipulating thoughts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

Eames is introduced as a mysterious and versatile character, while Cobb's determination and expertise are highlighted. The dynamic between Cobb and Eames adds depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 5

There are subtle hints at character dynamics and potential changes, especially in Eames' mysterious nature and Cobb's determination. However, the scene primarily focuses on setting up the plot.

Internal Goal: 8

Eames' internal goal in this scene is to maintain his facade of mystery and control, while also hinting at his willingness to betray Cobb if necessary. This reflects his deeper need for self-preservation and his desire to stay ahead in dangerous situations.

External Goal: 7

Cobb's external goal is to recruit Eames for a job involving inception, specifically planting an idea in the heir to a major corporation's mind. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of assembling a team for a complex and risky operation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Cobb and Eames, as well as the external threat from Cobol Engineering, adds tension to the scene. The high stakes of the inception mission create a sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong but not overwhelming, creating a sense of challenge and uncertainty for the characters. The presence of Cobol Engineering adds a layer of danger and intrigue to the interaction between Eames and Cobb.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the inception mission, the threat from Cobol Engineering, and the potential betrayal add a sense of danger and urgency to the scene. The characters are faced with significant risks and consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the concept of inception, setting up the main conflict, and establishing the mission parameters. It propels the narrative towards the next stage of the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between Eames and Cobb, the introduction of the inception concept, and the looming threat of Cobol Engineering. The audience is left unsure of the characters' true intentions and the outcome of their interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of inception and manipulating someone's thoughts. Eames emphasizes the importance of planting a simple, natural idea, while Cobb focuses on the end goal of breaking up a corporation. This challenges their beliefs about the morality of their actions and the impact on the subject's mind.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there are hints of emotional turmoil and tension, the scene focuses more on setting up the plot and introducing new elements. The emotional impact is subtle but effective in creating intrigue.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the mission. The conversation between Cobb and Eames drives the scene forward and builds tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its sharp dialogue, mysterious atmosphere, and the introduction of complex themes like inception and betrayal. The tension between the characters keeps the audience invested in the unfolding story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing key information gradually. The dialogue flows smoothly, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven sequence in a heist film. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear and concise dialogue that effectively conveys the characters' personalities and the plot's progression.
  • The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for a gradual build-up of tension and suspense as Cobb and Eames discuss their plan.
  • The setting and atmosphere of the gambling den and the Mombasa street are vividly described, immersing the reader in the environment.
  • The characters of Cobb and Eames are well-established, with their camaraderie and trust evident in their interactions.
  • The concept of inception is introduced and explained in a way that is both intriguing and accessible to the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the scene, such as the sounds, smells, and textures of the gambling den, to further engage the reader's senses.
  • Explore the emotional depth of Cobb's character by delving into his motivations for pursuing inception and his feelings about his past.
  • Consider introducing more obstacles or complications to the plan, such as unexpected challenges or setbacks, to heighten the tension and suspense.
  • Develop the character of Eames further by exploring his backstory, skills, and personality, to create a more well-rounded and dynamic character.
  • Consider adding more visual elements to the scene, such as descriptions of the characters' facial expressions, body language, and gestures, to create a more cinematic experience for the reader.



Scene 13 -  Narrow Escape in Mombasa
EXT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Cobb stands up, PUSHES into the crowd- faces PEER at him- he
moves, trying to blend- TURNS- a SECOND BUSINESS MAN is
there.
44.

COBB
(disarming smile)
Yes?

SECOND BUSINESSMAN
We need to-

Cobb HEAD BUTTS the Second Businessman, PUSHES past him-

The First Businessman races out of the bar, sees Cobb's wake,
DIVES after him- Cobb RACES headlong through tight
passageways, WEAVING through or KNOCKING into the locals...

He steps into a dark, crowded cafe, scanning the tables...
the First Businessman enters, spots him. An AFRICAN MAN gets
in Cobb's face, jabbering at him in Swahili- Cobb considers
his options... the First Businessman DRAWS A GUN- Cobb bolts,
steps up on a table and out an open window, SCRAMBLING into
the alley outside...

Cobb LOOKS left, right... CUTS LEFT into a narrow, CROWDED
alley- the alley NARROWS TO A DEAD END. Faces in the CROWD
start to watch Cobb- PEOPLE start to SURROUND him- Cobb looks
back the way he came- the two Businessmen are there, GUNS
DRAWN-

Cobb sees a SMALL GAP between the buildings at the narrow end-
he THROWS himself into it- gets STUCK HALFWAY...

The crowd bears down, GRABBING for him as Cobb struggles to
SQUEEZE HIMSELF through the gap... Cobb's moving INCHES as
his pursuers gain YARDS... the Crowd is upon him... he BURSTS
FREE. TUMBLING onto the next street, ROLLING out of sight.

Cobb Jumps to his feet- in a market square. TWO MORE
BUSINESSMEN move towards him. Cobb BOLTS but a CAR SKIDS UP,
BLOCKS HIS PATH- the door opens- SAITO IS IN THE BACK.

SAITO
Care for a lift, Mr. Cobb?

COBB
(jumping in)
What brings you to Mombasa, Mr.
Saito?

SAITO
I have to protect my investment.

EXT. COFFEE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Eames stands on the pavement. The car pulls up. Cobb beckons
from the rear window. Eames looks at Saito. Back to Cobb.

EAMES
This is your idea of losing a tail?
45.

COBB
(shrugs)
Different tail.

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur sits at the table, working on a mechanism. A small
COUGH prompts him to look up: Ariadne is there.

ARTHUR
He said you'd be back.

ARIADNE
I tried not to come.

ARTHUR
But there's nothing else quite like
it.

ARIADNE
No paper, no pens... nothing
between you and raw, direct
creation.

Arthur picks up his mechanism.

ARTHUR
Shall we take a look at paradoxical
architecture?

Ariadne nods, takes off her coat and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENROSE STEPS - LATER

Arthur leads Ariadne down some busy steps in a large glass
and steel ATRIUM in an office complex.

ARTHUR
You're going to have to master a
few tricks if you're going to build
three complete dream levels.

A SECRETARY DROPS some papers as they pass...

ARIADNE
What sort of tricks?

They take a tight turn and continue down the next flight.

ARTHUR
In a dream, you can cheat
architecture into impossible
shapes.
(MORE)
46.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
That lets you create closed loops,
like the Penrose Steps. The
infinite staircase.

Ariadne FREEZES- THEY ARE IN THE EXACT SPOT THEY STARTED
DESCENDING FROM, next to the Secretary gathering her papers.

Ariadne puzzles at the impossible construction of the stairs.

ARTHUR
See...

Arthur stops her gently- they are on the highest step, with a
LARGE DROP to the next step. Arthur gestures at the drop.

ARTHUR
Paradox. A closed loop like this
helps you disguise the boundaries
of the dream you've created.

ARIADNE
How big do the levels have to be?

ARTHUR
Anything from the floor of a
building, to an entire city. But it
has to be complicated enough for us
to hide from the projections.

ARIADNE
A maze.

ARTHUR
And the better the maze-

ARIADNE
The longer we have before the
projections catch us.

Ariadne looks around. Sees people LOOKING at Arthur.

ARIADNE
My subconscious seems polite
enough.

ARTHUR
You wait, they'll turn ugly. No one
likes to see someone else messing
around in their mind.

ARIADNE
Cobb can't build anymore, can he?
47.

ARTHUR
I don't know if he can't, but he
won't. He thinks it's safer if he
doesn't know the layouts.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
He won't tell me. I think it's Mal.
I think she's getting stronger.

ARIADNE
His ex-wife?

ARTHUR
She's not his ex.

ARIADNE
They're still together?

Arthur turns to Ariadne. Gentle.

ARTHUR
No. No, she's dead, Ariadne. What
you see in there is just his
projection of her.

ARIADNE
What was she like in real life?

ARTHUR
(quiet)
She was lovely.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Cobb is chased by two businessmen through the crowded streets of Mombasa after a confrontation. Using quick thinking, he head-butts one pursuer and escapes into a cafe, navigating narrow alleys until he gets stuck between buildings. Just as he breaks free, Saito arrives to offer him a lift, providing a temporary escape from danger.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • Complex world-building
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Transition between dream levels could be clearer

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines action, suspense, and emotional depth, setting up key plot points and introducing important characters like Saito and Ariadne.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The introduction of paradoxical architecture and the discussion of dream levels add depth to the world-building and foreshadow the complexity of the upcoming inception mission.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Cobb evades capture, meets Saito, and introduces Ariadne to the team, setting the stage for the inception mission.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its use of a chase sequence in a crowded market setting, with unique obstacles and character interactions. The dialogue feels authentic and adds to the realism of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character dynamics are explored through Cobb's interactions with Saito, Eames, and Ariadne, revealing layers of complexity and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 7

Cobb's internal struggles and the introduction of new characters like Ariadne hint at potential character growth and development as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to evade capture and protect his secrets. This reflects his fear of being exposed and his desire to maintain control over his own narrative.

External Goal: 7

Cobb's external goal is to escape the businessmen chasing him and seek protection from Saito. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with tension and conflict as Cobb evades capture, faces off against pursuers, and navigates the complexities of dream manipulation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with multiple obstacles and adversaries that pose a threat to Cobb's goals.

High Stakes: 8

The high-stakes chase sequence, the introduction of the inception mission, and the emotional turmoil faced by Cobb raise the stakes and set the tone for the upcoming challenges.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, setting up the inception mission, and deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected obstacles and twists that Cobb faces in his escape attempt.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Cobb's desire for control and the chaotic, unpredictable nature of his surroundings. This challenges his beliefs about being able to manipulate his environment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact is significant, especially in the exploration of Cobb's guilt and the presence of his deceased wife, adding layers of complexity to his character.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters' motivations and relationships, particularly in the conversation between Arthur and Ariadne.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise action lines and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a suspenseful action sequence, with clear progression and escalating stakes.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother, with clearer indications of time and location changes.
  • The dialogue in the Mombasa chase scene is somewhat unnatural and could be improved to better convey urgency and tension.
  • The pacing of the Mombasa chase scene is uneven, with some actions and movements described in great detail while others are glossed over.
  • The character of Saito is introduced abruptly in the Mombasa chase scene, and his relevance to the scene is not immediately clear.
  • The conversation between Arthur and Ariadne in the workshop and on the Penrose steps could benefit from more subtext and nuance, making it feel less like an exposition dump.
Suggestions
  • Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through time and location changes, ensuring a smoother reading experience.
  • Revise the dialogue in the Mombasa chase scene to make it more natural and engaging, focusing on the emotions and thoughts of the characters in this high-stakes situation.
  • Balance the pacing of the Mombasa chase scene by providing a consistent level of detail throughout the scene, allowing the reader to fully immerse themselves in the action.
  • Introduce Saito earlier in the Mombasa chase scene or provide context for his appearance, helping the reader understand his role and relevance to the scene.
  • Add subtext and nuance to the conversation between Arthur and Ariadne, making it feel less like an exposition dump and more like a natural conversation between two people exploring a shared interest.



Scene 14 -  The Inception Plan: A Risky Proposition
EXT. ROOFTOP, OLD TOWN, MOMBASA - DAY

Saito deposits a FILE in front of Cobb: PHOTOS, DOCUMENTS. As
Cobb runs through them, he passes them to Eames.

SAITO
Robert Fischer, 32. Heir to the
Fischer Morrow energy conglomerate.
He's spent his whole life being
groomed as successor-breaking up
his father's empire will take a
radical shift in his thinking.

COBB
What's your problem with Fischer?

SAITO
That's not your concern.
48.

COBB
This isn't the usual corporate
espionage, Mr. Saito. This is
inception. The seed of the idea we
plant will grow in this man's mind.
It'll change him. It might even
come to define him.

Saito looks at Cobb.

SAITO
My sources suggest you might not
have always been so cautious.

COBB
Then you need new sources, Mr.
Saito.

Saito considers Cobb. Shrugs.

SAITO
Fischer Morrow has the regulators
in their pockets. We're the last
company standing between them and
total energy dominance and we can
no longer compete. Soon they'll
control the energy supply of half
the world. They'll be able to
blackmail governments, dictate
policy. In effect, they become a
new superpower. The world needs
Robert Fischer to change his mind.

EAMES
That's where we come in. How's
Robert Fischer's relationship to
his father?

SAITO
Rumor is the relationship is
complicated.

COBB
We'll need more than rumor, Mr.
Saito.

Eames picks up a photo: a distinguished executive (68).

EAMES
Can you get me access to him?
Browning. Fischer senior's right-
hand man. Fischer junior's
godfather.
49.

SAITO
It should be possible. If you can
get the right references.

EAMES
References are something of a
specialty for me, Mr. Saito.

EXT. DECREPIT BUILDING, MOMBASA - LATER

Eames leads Cobb and Saito down uneven steps to a doorway.

INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Peeling paint, buzzing flies. They ascend to a dusty,
wire-reinforced glass door which Eames pushes open-



INT. PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Row upon row of wooden shelves holding hundreds of dusty
glass bottles of all shapes and colors. At the far end, a
portly 40-year-old man rises from behind his desk, beckoning.
This is YUSUF.

YUSUF
Come, come.

Eames shakes Yusuf's hand. Yusuf stops at Cobb.

YUSUF
Ah, yes. Mr. Cobb. I've heard so
very much about you.
(indicates chairs)
please.

Yusuf chases a CAT off Saito's chair.

YUSUF
Bloody cats.

Yusuf moves to a shelf and runs his fingers over the glass
bottles. None of them has a label.

YUSUF
You work using Somnacin, I think,
Mr. Cobb?

COBB
You're well informed, Mr. Yusuf.

Yusuf places a bottle on the desk in front of Cobb.
50.

COBB
(dubious)
Somnacin?

YUSUF
(proudly)
Yusuf's Somnacin.

Yusuf pulls the stopper, holds it towards Cobb's nose.

COBB
As good as the real thing?

Yusuf WHIPS the bottle away from Cobb, offended.

YUSUF
Better.

Yusuf holds the bottle to the light, marveling.

YUSUF
Binds the dreamers tight. Let's
them dream as one. Makes it real.
Of course, if you'd prefer, you
could use Somnacin brand. If you
could explain to the international
control council what you wanted it
for.

Yusuf puts the bottle back onto the shelf. Sits.

YUSUF
You are seeking a chemist?
(Cobb nods)
To formulate compounds for a job?

COBB
And to come into the held with us.

YUSUF
I rarely go into the held, Mr.
Cobb.

COBB
We need you there to tailor
compounds to our particular
requirements.

YUSUF
Which are?

COBB
Great depth.

YUSUF
A dream within a dream? Two levels?
51.

COBB
Three.

YUSUF
Not possible. That many dreams
within dreams would be too
unstable.

COBB
I've done it before. You just have
to add a sedative.

YUSUF
A powerful sedative. How many team
members?

COBB
Five.

SAITO
Six.
(to Cobb)
The only way to know you've done
the job is if I go in with you.

COBB
There's no room for tourists on
these jobs, Mr. Saito.

SAITO
This time, it would seem there is.

Cobb looks at him, uneasy. Yusuf pulls out another bottle.

YUSUF
Of course. I use it every day.

Yusuf hands it to Cobb, who considers the white liquid
inside.

COBB
For what?

Yusuf beckons them further into the pharmacy, to a METAL
DOOR. He STOPS- second thoughts.

YUSUF
Perhaps... you will not want to
see.

Cobb motions to continue. Yusuf pulls out a large key.
52.
Genres: ["Thriller","Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary On a rooftop in Old Town, Mombasa, Saito presents Cobb with a file on Robert Fischer, stressing the need for inception to change Fischer's mindset and prevent corporate dominance. Cobb expresses concerns about the ethical implications of altering Fischer's identity, while Saito insists on joining the mission. Eames suggests gathering more information about Fischer's relationship with his father, and they consult Yusuf, a chemist, about a specialized sedative for their complex plan. The scene is tense, highlighting the high stakes and moral dilemmas they face, ending with Cobb and Yusuf venturing deeper into a dusty pharmacy, foreshadowing the dangers ahead.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intriguing concept
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Character development could be more pronounced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is well-written, engaging, and sets up important elements for the plot. The introduction of the chemist adds depth to the story and increases the tension.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using dream compounds and multiple dream levels is innovative and intriguing. The scene effectively introduces these complex ideas and sets the stage for the heist.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with the characters discussing the mission and the challenges they will face. The introduction of the chemist adds a new layer to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the heist genre by incorporating elements of dream manipulation and corporate espionage. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative, making it stand out from traditional heist stories.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-developed, with hints of complex relationships and motivations. The scene focuses more on the concept and plot, but the characters' interactions add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints of character development, especially in Cobb's reluctance to involve Saito in the mission. The scene sets the stage for potential changes in the characters' relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal in this scene is to successfully convince Saito and Yusuf to join his team for the inception job. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and validation of his skills as an extractor.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather the necessary team members and resources for the inception job on Robert Fischer. This reflects the immediate challenge of planning and executing a complex and risky operation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both in the dialogue between the characters and the challenges they face in planning the heist. The tension is palpable.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations among the characters. Cobb faces resistance from Saito and Yusuf, adding complexity and depth to the conflict and raising the stakes for the inception job.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters discuss a complex heist involving inception and the manipulation of a powerful individual. The consequences of failure are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the chemist, discussing the mission details, and setting up the challenges the characters will face. It sets the stage for the heist.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting alliances, hidden agendas, and unexpected twists in the characters' motivations. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters' decisions will impact the outcome of the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the ethical dilemma of manipulating someone's mind and planting an idea that could potentially change their entire life. This challenges Cobb's beliefs about the morality of his work and the consequences of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While the scene is more focused on setting up the plot and introducing new elements, there are hints of emotional depth in the characters' interactions and motivations.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, tense, and reveals important information about the mission and the characters. It effectively conveys the high stakes and the challenges they will face.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intriguing plot developments, and dynamic character interactions. The audience is drawn into the world of corporate espionage and dream manipulation, eager to see how the story unfolds.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of exposition, dialogue, and action. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and action lines are concise and effective in setting the tone and atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations, well-defined character interactions, and a gradual buildup of tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the previous one, but the pacing could be improved by shortening some of the dialogue and making the exposition more concise.
  • The characters' motivations are clear, but there could be more emotional depth in their interactions, especially between Cobb and Saito.
  • The scene introduces a new character, Yusuf, but his introduction could be more impactful with stronger visuals and a more memorable first impression.
  • The concept of Somnacin and its importance to the team's mission is interesting, but the explanation could be more engaging and concise.
Suggestions
  • Consider cutting some dialogue to quicken the pacing and make the scene more engaging. For example, shorten Saito's explanation of the Fischer Morrow situation.
  • Add more emotional weight to Cobb and Saito's interaction by having Cobb express reluctance or concern about Saito joining the mission.
  • Enhance Yusuf's introduction by giving him a more distinct appearance, mannerisms, or unique visual elements in his pharmacy.
  • Make the explanation of Somnacin more engaging by using comparisons, metaphors, or anecdotes to help the audience understand its importance and effects.



Scene 15 -  Dreams and Demons
INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

A dark room with ROWS of low COTS. Each with a sleeping
occupant. Tubes connect their wrists. An ELDERLY BALD MAN
watches over them.

EAMES
(counting)
Eighteen, twenty-all connected,
bloody hell.

YUSUF
They come every day. To share the
dream.

Yusuf nods at the Elderly Bald Man, who moves to the nearest
bed. Reaches out to the OCCUPANT. Gives his face a FIRM SLAP.
The sleeper does not even stir.

YUSUF
See? Very stable.

COBB
How long do they dream?

YUSUF
Three, four hours. Every day.

COBB
How long in dream time?

YUSUF
With this compound... about forty
hours. Each and every day.

Saito surveys the room, appalled.

SAITO
Why do they do it?

YUSUF
Tell him, Mr. Cobb.

COBB
After a while...
(looks at Saito)
It becomes the only way you can
dream.

YUSUF
Do you still dream, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb STARES at the sleepers. Uneasy.

EAMES
They come here every day to sleep?
53.

ELDERLY BALD MAN (O.S.)
No.

Cobb turns to the Elderly Bald Man, who looks fondly at his
dreamers.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
They come to be woken up... the
dream has become their reality...

The Elderly Bald Man pokes a crooked finger at Cobb's chest.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
And who are you to say otherwise?

Cobb STARES at the Elderly Bald Man. DISTURBED. Cobb turns to
Yusuf. TOSSES him the bottle.

COBB
Let's see what you can do.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb is lying on an empty cot, asleep. Yusuf stands over him.
As we move in on Cobb's SLEEPING FACE we hear the sound of a
FREIGHT TRAIN, BUILDING, and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. WASTELAND - DAY

CLOSE ON Cobb's face as he lies, EYES CLOSED, cheek pressed
to a METAL RAIL- THE SOUND OF THE TRAIN IS DEAFENING- Cobb is
BREATHING, BREATHING, BREATHING, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - DAY

Cobb's eyes open. Yusuf is watching him.

YUSUF
Sharp, no?

Cobb nods. Gets to his feet, looking around-

INT. BATHROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SPLASHES water on his face, breathing hard- INSERT CUT:
A CURTAIN BILLOWS. MAL TURNS TO US, HAIR BLOWING, SMILING.
Cobb fumbles in his pockets, pulls out his spinning top. He
tries to set it spinning on the back edge of the sink, but it
FALLS to the floor and rolls towards the door- Saito is
there. WATCHING Cobb. He looks down at the spinning top.
54.

SAITO
Everything alright, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb dries his face with a paper towel. Picks up his top.

COBB
Everything's fine.

INT. BACK ROOM, WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Close on a small BRASS CHESS PIECE. Ariadne tips it over.
Frowning, she picks up a micro drill, peels back the felt on
the bottom and widens a hole in one side of its base. Tests
the TIPPING POINT again. A NOISE makes her look up.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne comes into the main space. Someone is there,
unpacking one of the MECHANISMS. Cobb.

ARIADNE
You're back.

Cobb looks up with a start. Caught out.

ARIADNE
Are you going under on your own?

COBB
I just-I need to test some things.
I didn't realize anyone was here.

ARIADNE
Just working on my totem.

Ariadne holds up the chess piece. Cobb reaches for it.

COBB
Let me see-

Ariadne SNAPS it out of his reach. Smiles. Cobb nods.

COBB
You're learning.

ARIADNE
It's an elegant solution to keeping
track of reality. Your invention?

COBB
No. Mal's.

Cobb pulls out his spinning top. Looks at it.
55.

COBB
This one was hers. She'd spin it in
a dream and it would never topple.
Just spin and spin...

ARIADNE
Arthur told me she died.

COBB
She did. How are the mazes coming?

Ariadne indicates three large ARCHITECTURAL MODELS.

ARIADNE
Good. Each level relates to the
part of the subject's subconscious
we're trying to access. I'm making
the bottom level a hospital, so
that Fischer will bring his father
there-

COBB
Don't tell me. Remember, you only
want the dreamer to know the
layout.

ARIADNE
Why's that so important?

COBB
In case one of us brings in part of
our subconscious. You wouldn't want
any projections knowing the layout.

ARIADNE
In case you bring Mal in.

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
You won't build yourself because if
you know the maze, then she knows
it. And she'd sabotage the
operation. You can't keep her out,
can you?

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
Do the others know?

COBB
No.
56.

ARIADNE
You have to warn them if it's
getting worse-

COBB
(gentle)
I didn't say it's getting worse.
Look, Ariadne, I need them for this
job. I need you for this job.
Without your help, I'll never get
back to my children. And that's all
I can care about right now.

ARIADNE
Why can't you go home, Cobb?

Cobb looks at her, deciding what to say.

COBB
They think I killed her.

ARIADNE
How did she die?

Cobb thinks.

INSERT CUT: Mal, wind BLOWING her hair, smiles at Cobb. Now
we see Cobb- SHAKING HIS HEAD, TEARS STREAMING, BEGGING-

COBB
Thank you.

ARIADNE
For what?

COBB
Not asking whether I did.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a dimly lit pharmacy back room, Cobb, Eames, Yusuf, Saito, and an elderly man observe a group of sleepers connected to tubes, highlighting the unsettling reality of dream-sharing. Yusuf explains the dream process, while Cobb grapples with his past and the haunting presence of his deceased wife, Mal. As he tests a compound by entering a dream state, he later discusses the implications of his subconscious with Ariadne, leaving unresolved tension about his inner struggles.
Strengths
  • Exploration of dreams and reality
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Intriguing concept of totems and shared dreaming
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Complexity of dream concepts may be confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, blending elements of science fiction, thriller, and drama seamlessly. It introduces key concepts and emotional depth, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in the characters' journeys.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of shared dreaming, totems, and the manipulation of dreams is executed effectively, adding layers of complexity to the narrative. The exploration of dreams as a form of reality and the consequences of losing touch with reality are thought-provoking.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the characters delve deeper into the intricacies of shared dreaming and the inception job they are planning. The introduction of new characters and the revelation of Cobb's past add depth to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique concepts such as shared dreaming and the manipulation of dreams for personal gain. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Cobb and Ariadne, are well-developed and showcase internal conflicts and emotional depth. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and set the stage for character growth and transformation.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb's character undergoes significant development as his past with Mal is explored, revealing his guilt and emotional baggage. Ariadne also shows growth as she navigates the complexities of shared dreaming and Cobb's inner demons.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to confront his guilt and grief over his deceased wife, Mal, and to navigate his own subconscious fears and insecurities.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully navigate the dream world and complete the job he has been hired to do, despite the challenges and obstacles he faces.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from Cobb's guilt over Mal's death to the high stakes of the inception job. The characters face challenges both within themselves and from external forces, creating tension and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and ethical dilemmas that challenge the protagonist's beliefs and motivations.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters embark on the dangerous mission of inception, facing internal and external threats. The consequences of failure are significant, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key concepts, deepening character relationships, and setting the stage for the inception job. It builds suspense and intrigue, propelling the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions, the blurred lines between reality and dreams, and the ethical dilemmas presented.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and dreams, as well as the ethical implications of manipulating others' dreams for personal gain.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from unease and guilt to fondness and conflict. The characters' emotional turmoil is palpable, drawing the audience into their struggles and inner conflicts.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and serves to deepen the characters' relationships and motivations. It effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and inner conflicts of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mysterious atmosphere, complex character dynamics, and the gradual reveal of the protagonist's internal struggles and external challenges.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotional stakes that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue that enhance the overall storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, with a gradual build-up of tension and conflict that drives the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene does an excellent job of world-building and introducing the concept of shared dreams, but it could benefit from more tension and urgency.
  • The dialogue between the characters is informative and advances the plot, but it occasionally feels expository and lacks emotional depth.
  • Cobb's character could be further developed, as his internal conflict and guilt are only alluded to in the dialogue. Providing more context and insight into his feelings would help the audience empathize with him.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a subplot or a secondary character to create more tension and conflict within the scene.
  • Incorporate more emotional beats and personal moments between the characters to create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Develop Cobb's character further by revealing more about his past and his relationship with Mal, which would help the audience understand his motivations and feelings.



Scene 16 -  Strategizing Inception: Emotional Triggers and Tensions
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne, Arthur, Yusuf, Eames and Saito sit around the room,
looking at FILES. Cobb presides.

COBB
The mark is Robert Fischer, heir to
the Australian energy conglomerate,
Fischer Morrow.

Cobb opens a large presentation pad.

COBB (reads aloud)
"I WILL SPLIT UP MY FATHER'S
EMPIRE."

Cobb turns to the team.
57.

COBB
An idea Robert Fischer's conscious
mind would never accept. We have to
plant it deep in his subconscious.

ARTHUR
How deep?

COBB
Three levels down.

ARTHUR
A dream within a dream within a
dream? Is that even possible?

COBB
Yes. It is.

COBB
Now, the subconscious motivates
through emotion, not reason, so we
have to translate the idea into an
emotional concept.

ARTHUR
How do you translate a business
strategy into an emotion?

COBB
That's what we have to figure out.
Robert and his father have a tense
relationship. Worse, even, than the
gossip columns have suggested...

EAMES
Do you play on that? Suggest
breaking up his father's company as
a 'screw you' to the old man?

COBB
No. Positive emotion trumps
negative emotion every time. We
yearn for people to be reconciled,
for catharsis. We need positive
emotional logic.

Eames thinks. Paces. Looking back at the board.

EAMES
Try this... "MY FATHER ACCEPTS THAT
I WANT TO CREATE FOR MYSELF, NOT
FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS."

COBB
That might work.
58.

ARTHUR
Might? We'll have to do better than
that.

EAMES
Thanks for the contribution,
Arthur.

ARTHUR
Forgive me for wanting a little
specificity, Eames.

COBB
Inception's not about specificity.
When we get inside his head, we're
going to have to work with what we
find.

Arthur shrugs, frustrated. And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

The team are in the middle of a DESERTED intersection.
Ariadne is showing Yusuf aspects of the geography.

EAMES
We could split the idea into
emotional triggers, and use one on
each level.

COBB
How do you mean?

EAMES
On the top level, we open up his
relationship with his father....
Say: "I WILL NOT FOLLOW IN MY
FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS." Next level
down we've accessed his ambition
and self-esteem. We feed him: "I
WILL CREATE SOMETHING MYSELF."
Then, the bottom level, we bring
out the emotional big guns...

COBB
"MY FATHER DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE
HIM."

EAMES
That could do it.

ARTHUR
How do you produce these emotional
triggers?
59.

EAMES
I forge each emotional concept in
the style and manner of Peter
Browning, a key figure in Fischer's
emotional life.

Two AFRICAN PEDESTRIANS wander into view.

ARTHUR
Are those yours?

Eames shakes his head. Cobb turns to Yusuf.

ARTHUR
Yusuf?

YUSUF
Yup. Sorry.

COBB
Suppress them. We don't bring our
own projections into the dream-we
let Fischer's subconscious supply
the people.

EAMES
Saito, when do I get to see
Browning?

SAITO
You fly out to Sydney on Tuesday.
We've arranged for you to spend
several days...

INT. ANTEROOM, MAURICE FISCHER'S OFFICE - DAY

Eames sits in the crowded room. Boxes and files are piled
high. Browning stands by a pair of double doors.

SAITO (V.O.)
...as part of a consulting
litigation team working for
Browning.

BROWNING
I'm not smelling settlement here-we
take them down.

LAWYER
Mr. Browning, Maurice Fischer's
policy is always one of avoiding
litigation-

Browning turns to the lawyer. Calm, but POWERFUL.
60.

BROWNING
Shall we relay your concerns
directly to Maurice?

Browning opens the doors to Maurice Fischer's inner office.
Eames leans in to watch as Browning beckons the Lawyer into-

INT. MAURICE FISCHER'S INNER OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

The office is a MAKESHIFT HOSPITAL ROOM: a BED where the desk
should be. Browning addresses a figure at the window. ROBERT
FISCHER, 30'S, abstracted.

BROWNING
How is he?

Fischer turns to Browning. Motions silence, as he glances at
his FATHER in the bed. Wheezing gently.

BROWNING
I don't want to bother him
unnecessarily but I know he-

FATHER
Robert! I've told you to keep out
the damn!-

MAURICE LASHES OUT, KNOCKING things from his bedside table. A
NURSE calms Maurice as Fischer crouches to retrieve a FRAMED
PHOTOGRAPH. He looks at the photo through the broken glass- a
YOUNG BOY holds a PINWHEEL CLEARLY MADE BY A CHILD (each of
the points is numbered in pen), his FATHER blows on it.

BROWNING
Must be a cherished memory of his-

FISCHER
I put it by his bed. He hasn't even
noticed.

BROWNING
Robert, we have to talk about a
power of attorney. I know this is
hard for you, but it's important
that we start to think about the
future-

FISCHER
Not now, Uncle Peter.

Browning looks at Fischer, considering. Biding his time.

EAMES (V.O.)
The vultures are circling. The
sicker Maurice Fischer becomes, the
stronger Peter Browning becomes...
61.

Eames WATCHES Browning, STUDYING his every move .
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a workshop setting, Cobb leads his team in strategizing their mission to implant an idea in Robert Fischer's subconscious. They analyze Fischer's relationship with his father and brainstorm emotional concepts to motivate him to dismantle his father's empire. Eames proposes using emotional triggers at various dream levels, while Arthur raises concerns about the plan's clarity. The scene highlights the team's collaborative yet contentious dynamic, culminating in Eames preparing to meet Peter Browning, a pivotal figure in Fischer's life, as they refine their approach.
Strengths
  • Complex concept
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a complex and intriguing concept, intense dialogue, and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of inception and manipulating dreams to plant ideas is innovative and captivating, driving the plot forward.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with layers of complexity and high stakes driving the characters' actions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of dream-sharing technology and explores complex themes of guilt, redemption, and family dynamics. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo internal and external changes as they grapple with their mission, their pasts, and their relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to successfully execute the inception heist to reconcile with his past and move on from guilt and regret.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to plant the idea in Robert Fischer's subconscious to break up his father's empire.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, their inner struggles, and the high stakes of the mission create tension and drive the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal and external conflicts challenging the characters' goals and motivations.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the mission, the complex emotional manipulation, and the personal motivations of the characters raise the tension and importance of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up the mission, introducing key elements, and deepening the characters' arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and the evolving heist plan.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between positive and negative emotions, and the importance of reconciliation and catharsis in human relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional depth of the characters, their relationships, and the high stakes of the mission evoke strong emotions in the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their mission.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, complex character dynamics, and suspenseful plot development.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' goals.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a heist genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear dialogue and good pacing, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional connection to the characters and their motivations.
  • The introduction of Robert Fischer's backstory is informative, but it might be more engaging to include more personal details or anecdotes to make the character feel more real and relatable.
  • The scene could also benefit from a clearer connection to the previous scenes, as it feels somewhat disconnected from the earlier tension and urgency. Consider adding a line or two that ties the planning session to the immediate danger Cobb and his team are in.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief personal anecdote or detail about Robert Fischer to make him feel more real and relatable, such as a shared memory with his father or a specific moment that shaped his relationship with the company.
  • To strengthen the emotional connection, you could include a line or two about how the success of the inception mission will impact Cobb personally, such as a reference to his guilt over Mal or his longing to see his children again.
  • To better tie the scene to the previous tension, consider adding a line or two about the urgency of the mission or the risks they face, emphasizing the importance of their planning and preparation.



Scene 17 -  Strategic Planning and Surprising Revelations
INT. BATHROOM - DAY

Eames gestures at a mirror, as if offering to shake hands...

EAMES (V.O.)
I've had time to learn Browning's
physical presence and mannerisms...

In the mirror: BROWNING GESTURES BACK.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

EAMES
Now, in the dream, I can impersonate
Browning and suggest the concepts to
Fischer's conscious mind...
(draws a diagram)
Then we take Fischer down another
level and his own subconscious
feeds it right back to him.

ARTHUR
(impressed)
So he gives himself the idea.

EAMES
Precisely. That's the only way
to make it stick. It has to seem
self-generated.

ARTHUR
Eames, I'm impressed.

EAMES
Your condescension, as always, is
much appreciated, Arthur.

CUT TO:

INT. DESERTED HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

The team sit on the steps of the large marble lobby,
debating. Ariadne is showing Arthur the lobby.

EAMES
He's not scheduled for surgery, no
dental, nothing.

COBB
I thought he had some knee thing?

EAMES
Nothing they'd put him under for.
Besides, we need a good ten hours.
62.

SAITO
Sydney to Los Angeles.

They turn to Saito.

SAITO
Twelve hours and forty-five
minutes-one of the longest flights
in the world. He makes it every two
weeks...

EXT. AIRFIELD - DAY

Fischer steps out of a black town car and walks across the
tarmac towards a GULF STREAM JET, accompanied by two aides.

COBB (V.O.)
Surely he flies private?

SAITO (V.O.)
Not if there were unexpected
maintenance with his plane.

Fischer is met at the steps by a DISTRAUGHT FLIGHT OFFICER.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

Cobb chews this over. Arthur comes over.

ARTHUR
It'd have to be a 747.

COBB
Why?

ARTHUR
On a 747 the pilots are up above,
first class is in the nose so
nobody walks through the cabin.
We'd have to buyout the whole
cabin, and the first class flight
attendant-

SAITO
We bought the airline.

Everyone turns to Saito.

SAITO
It seemed... neater.

COBB
Neater, huh?
(gets to his feet)
Well, now we have ten uninterrupted
hours.
(MORE)
63.
COBB (CONT'D)
(to Ariadne)
Nice lobby, by the way.

And we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary In a tense yet collaborative scene, Eames demonstrates his ability to impersonate Browning, explaining how they can manipulate Fischer's subconscious. The team discusses the logistics of their plan, realizing the need for a private flight. Saito surprises everyone by revealing that they have bought the airline to secure a 747, ensuring uninterrupted access for their operation. The scene highlights the strategic planning involved in their mission, with Eames leading the discussion and Cobb contemplating the logistics.
Strengths
  • Intriguing concept
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Emotional depth could be further explored

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, and sets up the intricate plot of the film effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams to manipulate thoughts and ideas is innovative and central to the story. The scene effectively introduces the audience to the complexities of dream infiltration and inception.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with the team strategizing and planning their mission to plant an idea in Robert Fischer's subconscious. The scene moves the story forward by setting up the mission and establishing the high stakes involved.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of dream manipulation and corporate espionage, with characters engaging in complex planning and execution of a heist within someone's subconscious mind. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are focused on their mission and their roles in the operation. While there is some development, the scene primarily serves to advance the plot.

Character Changes: 6

There is some character development, particularly in Cobb's determination to complete the mission and his internal struggles. However, the focus is more on the mission at hand.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to successfully execute a complex dream infiltration plan to plant an idea in Fischer's subconscious mind. This reflects his desire to prove his skills and expertise in the field of dream manipulation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully carry out the inception plan on Fischer by manipulating his dreams. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in executing a high-stakes heist within the dream world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both in terms of the mission's challenges and the internal conflicts within the team. The tension is palpable as they plan their risky operation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing obstacles and challenges that threaten the success of their mission. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the team plans a risky mission that could have far-reaching consequences. The success or failure of their inception operation will have a profound impact.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by setting up the mission, introducing key elements of the plot, and establishing the challenges the team will face.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' plans, the introduction of new obstacles, and the high level of uncertainty surrounding the success of the mission.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of manipulating someone's subconscious mind and implanting ideas without their knowledge or consent. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the morality of their actions and the consequences of their choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there is some emotional depth in Cobb's motivations and the team dynamics, the scene is primarily focused on the strategic planning and execution of the mission.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and serves to convey important information about the mission, the characters, and their relationships. It effectively builds tension and sets the tone for the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high-stakes heist planning, and complex character interactions. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome of the mission.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' planning and execution of the heist.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on dialogue-driven exposition and action sequences.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from a more seamless flow. Consider using fades or cuts on action to smooth out the transitions.
  • The dialogue in the workshop scene is quite expository. While it's important to convey the plan, try to incorporate more natural, conversational language to make it more engaging.
  • The introduction of the private flight idea feels rushed. It might be more effective to build up to this revelation, showing the team's thought process and discussions leading to this decision.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a few lines of dialogue or action that hint at the team's growing trust and camaraderie. This will help make their relationships feel more organic and engaging to the audience.
  • Use visual storytelling to your advantage. Show, don't tell, when it comes to explaining the details of the plan. Use diagrams, props, or physical demonstrations to help the audience understand the complexities of the inception mission.
  • Create a more gradual reveal of the private flight solution. Show the team discussing various options, weighing the pros and cons, and coming to a consensus. This will make the decision feel more earned and satisfying.



Scene 18 -  Navigating the Dream Layers
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

The group is back in the workshop, deep in discussion.

ARTHUR
My question is how we go down three
layers with enough stability. Three
layers down a little turbulence is
gonna translate into an earthquake.
The dreams are gonna collapse with
the slightest disturbance.

Yusuf clears his throat.

YUSUF
Sedation. For sleep stable enough to
create three layers of dreaming...

INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Yusuf depresses a plunger. Arthur is SLEEPING in a chair.

YUSUF (V.O.)
We will have to combine it with an
extremely powerful sedative....

Eames SLAPS Arthur, HARD. Arthur does not stir.

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur unconsciously rubs his cheek.

YUSUF
The compound we'll be using to
share the dream is an advanced
Somnacin derivative. It creates a
very clear connection between
dreamers, whilst actually
accelerating brain function.

CUT TO:

COBB
Buying us more time in each level.

YUSUF
Brain function in the dream will be
about twenty times normal.
(MORE)
64.
YUSUF (CONT'D)
And when you go into a dream within
that dream the effect is
compounded.

ARIADNE
How much time?

YUSUF
Three dreams... that's ten hours,
times twenty, times twenty, times
twenty...

EAMES
Math was never my strong suit.

COBB
It's basically a week one layer
down, six months two layers down-

ARIADNE
And ten years in the third level.
Who wants to spend ten years in a
dream?

YUSUF
Depends on the dream.

EAMES
It's not going to take us long to
crack Fischer open once we get
going. We'll be out in a couple
days, max.

ARTHUR
How do we get out once we've made
the plant?
(to Cobb)
I hope you've got something a
little more elegant in mind than
shooting me in the head like last
time.

Arthur tilts back in his chair. Yusuf turns to Cobb.

COBB
A kick.

ARIADNE
What's a kick?

Eames slips his foot under Arthur's chair leg. TIPS it-
Arthur's legs SHOOT UP INSTINCTIVELY for balance-

EAMES
That, Ariadne, would be a kick.
65.

COBB
That feeling of falling which snaps
you awake. We use that to jolt
ourselves awake once we're done.

ARTHUR
But how are we going to feel that
through the sedation?

YUSUF
That's the clever part. I customize
the sedative...
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Thriller"]

Summary In a workshop, the group discusses the complexities of entering multiple layers of dreams. Arthur expresses concerns about stability and exit strategies, while Yusuf suggests using a powerful sedative for deep sleep. They explore time dilation effects, realizing they could experience ten years in the third level. Eames lightens the mood by demonstrating a 'kick' to wake up, tipping Arthur's chair. The scene balances tension with humor as they strategize their risky mission, ending with cautious optimism about their plan.
Strengths
  • Intriguing concept of shared dreaming and inception
  • Sharp and technical dialogue
  • Effective plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some technical jargon may be hard to follow for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging and sets up the complex concept of shared dreaming and inception effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of shared dreaming and inception is innovative and well-developed, adding depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of the plan to plant an idea in Robert Fischer's subconscious.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of entering dreams within dreams and explores the consequences of manipulating reality in a unique way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are starting to show their unique skills and personalities, contributing to the overall dynamic of the team.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints of character development, especially in Cobb's determination and Arthur's skepticism.

Internal Goal: 8

Arthur's internal goal is to ensure the stability and success of the dream he is planning to enter. This reflects his need for control and his fear of failure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully complete the mission of entering dreams within dreams and extracting information. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict as the team discusses the risks and challenges of their mission.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles that add complexity to their mission and keep the audience guessing.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the team plans to manipulate Robert Fischer's subconscious, risking their lives and the success of their mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the inception plan and the challenges the team will face.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' plans and the challenges they face in achieving their goals.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of spending extended periods of time in dreams and the consequences of manipulating reality. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the ethics of dream manipulation and the impact it can have on individuals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is not the primary focus in this scene, but there are hints of internal struggles and motivations.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, technical, and serves to explain the complex concepts of shared dreaming and inception effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced dialogue, and complex concepts that keep the audience invested in the characters' mission.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-paced dialogue sequences.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother, making it harder for the reader to follow. Consider using scene transitions that are more natural and less jarring.
  • The dialogue is often used to explain the plot and mechanics of the dream-sharing process, which can feel heavy-handed and expository. Try to incorporate this information more organically into the characters' interactions.
  • The scene could benefit from more emotional depth, particularly in regards to Cobb's internal struggle and the team's growing unease about the mission. Finding ways to weave these emotions into the dialogue and action will make the scene more engaging.
Suggestions
  • To improve the flow of the scene, consider rephrasing some of the dialogue to make it less expository and more conversational. This will help the reader better understand the concepts while also making the scene feel more authentic.
  • Add more subtext and emotional undertones to the dialogue, especially between Cobb and Arthur, to emphasize the tension and uncertainty surrounding their mission. This will create a more immersive experience for the reader.
  • Experiment with more gradual scene transitions, such as using fades or dissolves, to create a more seamless flow between the workshop and the makeshift lab. This will help the reader better follow the action and maintain their engagement with the story.



Scene 19 -  Dreams and Secrets
INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Cobb, Eames and Yusuf watch Arthur, ASLEEP, in a chair.

YUSUF (O.S.)
To leave inner ear function
unimpaired...

Yusuf, with a wicked grin, slowly TIPS Arthur's chair
backwards... as he falls, Arthur's body JERKS, EYES OPENING
just before he HITS the floor.

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur thinks, nodding slowly.

YUSUF
That way, however deep the sleep, the
sleeper will still feel falling...

INT. MAKESHIFT LAB - DAY

Yusuf gleefully LEANS a SLEEPING ARTHUR to one side ...

YUSUF (V.O.)
Or tipping...

Arthur goes down with a CRASH, JERKING AWAKE-

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur thinks this through.

ARTHUR
Even that won't cut through three
layers of deep sleep.

COBB
The trick is to devise a kick for
each level, then synchronize them
to get a snap that penetrates all
three layers.
66.

Arthur looks at Cobb, getting it.

ARTHUR
We can use the musical countdown to
synchronize the different kicks.

INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Ariadne comes into the darkened main space. Cobb is lying on
one of the chairs, asleep. Plugged into the mechanism.
Ariadne stands over him. Watching.

She opens the case, PULLS one of the tubes, sits, checking
the dials as she injects the needle cap into her arm, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - DAY

Ariadne ascends. She looks at the buttons. Spots the "B." The
elevator STOPS. She looks through the grill at-

INT. YOUNG GIRL'S BEDROOM - DAY

Ariadne pulls back the grill and walks across the room,
considering the dusty furnishings. At the window is a doll's
house, front slightly ajar. Ariadne opens it. Inside is a
SAFE. She tries it. LOCKED. A NOISE STARTLES her- she turns,
looking through a doorway into another room...

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks into the room to see Cobb and Mal talking,
arguing. A private moment. Mal brushes at Cobb's hair, trying
to convince him. We hear snatches of conversation-

MAL
You remember when you asked me to
marry you?

COBB
Of course...

MAL
You said you had a dream...

COBB
That we'd grow old together.

MAL
And we can. You know how to find
me... you know what you have to do.

Cobb is shaking his head, gently. Mal looks into Cobb's eyes-
gentle, loving... Mal SPOTS Ariadne spying on them.
67.

FREEZES, staring, hostile. Cobb turns, sees Ariadne, moves
towards her, leaving Mal.

COBB
You shouldn't be in here.

Cobb guides her back into the elevator.

ARIADNE
I wanted to know what "tests" you
need to do on your own every night.
Genres: ["Thriller","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary In a makeshift lab, Cobb, Eames, and Yusuf discuss how to wake Arthur from deep sleep using synchronized 'kicks.' Yusuf playfully tips Arthur's chair, causing a humorous moment. The scene shifts to a workshop where Ariadne, curious about Cobb's dreams, injects herself with a sedative and enters a young girl's bedroom. There, she overhears a conversation between Cobb and Mal, revealing Cobb's inner turmoil. When Cobb discovers Ariadne, he guides her away, highlighting his protective nature and the need to keep his past hidden.
Strengths
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Intriguing concept of dream manipulation
  • Tense and emotional atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Transition between dream sequences and reality could be clearer

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a mix of tension, emotion, and intrigue that keeps the audience captivated. It sets up important plot points and character dynamics for the rest of the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering multiple layers of dreams, using totems to distinguish reality from dreams, and planning an inception job is innovative and well-developed. The introduction of 'kicks' as a way to wake up from dreams adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, as the characters discuss their mission, plan their strategy, and face internal and external conflicts. The scene sets up key elements for the upcoming events in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts of dream manipulation and synchronization, creating a unique and engaging narrative. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' inner struggles, relationships, and motivations are well-defined and drive the scene forward. Cobb's guilt and desire to return to his family, Ariadne's curiosity and reluctance, and Eames' loyalty add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience subtle changes in this scene, particularly Cobb as he grapples with his guilt and desire to return to his family. Ariadne's curiosity and reluctance also hint at potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand and master the concept of synchronized kicks to penetrate all three layers of deep sleep. This reflects his desire for control, expertise, and success in the dream manipulation process.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully navigate the dream world and achieve their mission, which involves creating synchronized kicks to wake up from deep sleep.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, including Cobb's guilt, Ariadne's curiosity, and the high-stakes mission of planting an idea in Fischer's subconscious. Tension is palpable as the characters navigate their complex emotions and relationships.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal and external conflicts challenging the protagonist's goals and beliefs. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' fates.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters plan a dangerous mission that could have far-reaching consequences. The risk of failure, betrayal, and emotional turmoil adds tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, setting up the mission to plant an idea in Fischer's subconscious, and deepening the characters' relationships and conflicts. It lays the groundwork for the upcoming events in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and the evolving dynamics between them. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of manipulating dreams and the boundaries between reality and dreams. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about control and consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and anxiety to reflection and empathy. The characters' emotional turmoil, particularly Cobb's guilt and longing for his family, resonates with the audience and adds depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics, conflicts, and emotional depth. It effectively conveys the characters' motivations, fears, and desires, adding layers to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of action, mystery, and character dynamics. The high stakes and complex goals keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and introspection. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character actions. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between the makeshift lab and the workshop are abrupt and could benefit from a more seamless transition to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The dialogue between Cobb and Mal in the young girl's bedroom could be more concise and focused on the emotional core of their relationship, as it currently contains some repetitive elements.
  • The scene in the makeshift lab could benefit from more context about the characters' emotions and thoughts, as it primarily focuses on the technical aspects of the sedation and kicks.
Suggestions
  • Consider using a visual transition, such as a dissolve or a fade, between the makeshift lab and the workshop to create a smoother flow in the narrative.
  • Revise the dialogue between Cobb and Mal to focus on the emotional stakes of their relationship, emphasizing the longing and guilt that Cobb feels, and the desperation that Mal conveys.
  • Add more character-driven moments in the makeshift lab scene, allowing the audience to better understand the characters' emotions and thoughts as they discuss the sedation and kicks.



Scene 20 -  Confronting the Past
INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - DAY

Cobb shuts the CAGE DOOR. Ariadne hits a button. The elevator
RISES. Through the GRILL Ariadne can see a BEACH stretching
off into the distance. The elevator stops. Mal sits on the
sand. Beside her, the two children are crouched, away from
us, building a SANDCASTLE.

ARIADNE
Why do you do this to yourself?

COBB
This is the only way I can still
dream.

ARIADNE
Is it so important to dream?

Cobb stares at his family.

COBB
In my dreams... we're still together.

The kids, WITHOUT TURNING AROUND, jump up and RUN AWAY.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

The elevator descends.

ARIADNE
But these aren't just dreams, are
they? They're memories. You said
never to use memories.

COBB
And I shouldn't.

ARIADNE
You're keeping her alive.

COBB
No.
68.

ARIADNE
You can't let her go.

COBB
No. These are moments I regret.
Moments I turned into dreams so I
could change them.

Ariadne's fingers move across the buttons- stop at the "B."

ARIADNE
What've you got buried down there
that you regret?

Cobb pushes her hand away. Hits the third floor button.

COBB
There's only one thing I need you
to understand about me...

INT. KITCHEN, COBB AND MAL'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Ariadne follows Cobb into the kitchen. A THIN MAN is there,
standing by the table. He holds a FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER.

ARIADNE
This is your house?

COBB
Mine and Mal's.

ARIADNE
Where is she?

COBB
She'd already died.

The Thin Man offers Cobb the piece of paper. A CHILD'S SHOUT-
Cobb TURNS. Ariadne follows his gaze to the garden. A small
blonde boy faces away from them, crouched on his haunches to
look at something on the ground.

COBB
It's James. My boy. He's found
something. Maybe a worm.

A slightly older girl RUNS into view.

COBB
And there's Philippa.

She crouches beside the boy. Their FACES ARE AWAY FROM US.
They point and discuss whatever is on the ground.
69.

COBB
I thought about calling out, so
they'd turn and smile those
incredible smiles... but I'm out of
time-

The Thin Man thrusts the paper into Cobb's hand.

THIN MAN
Right now. Or never, Cobb.

Cobb nods, turns from the window-

COBB
Then I panic that I'll always wish
I'd seen them turn, that I can't
waste this chance...

Cobb TURNS BACK to call out- but the children RACE OFF...

COBB
But the moment's passed. And
whatever I do, the dream's always
the same... When I'm about to
call... they run.

Cobb watches them run off, calling for grandma, FACES UNSEEN.

COBB
If I'm going to see their faces
again-I've got to get back here in
the real world...

Behind him, Ariadne SLAMS the grill shut. Cobb TURNS.
Genres: ["Drama","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary In a cage-style elevator, Cobb and Ariadne encounter a vision of Cobb's family on a beach, where he reveals his deep regrets about his deceased wife, Mal, and their children. Ariadne challenges Cobb's reliance on memories, urging him to confront his inability to let go of the past. As they transition to Cobb's house, he sees his children playing but feels the pain of not being able to interact with them. The scene culminates in Cobb's realization that he must return to the real world to reconnect with his children, ending with a moment of tension as Ariadne slams the grill shut.
Strengths
  • Deep emotional exploration
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited external plot progression
  • Reliance on introspection

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, delving into Cobb's inner struggles and regrets, setting a somber tone for the narrative. The dialogue is poignant and reveals layers of complexity within the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using dreams to confront and alter past regrets is compelling and drives the emotional core of the scene. The exploration of memory, guilt, and the desire for redemption adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

While the plot progression is minimal in terms of external events, the scene serves as a crucial moment for character development and emotional exploration. It sets up key themes and motivations for the characters moving forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to exploring themes of memory, regret, and the power of dreams. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene provides deep insights into Cobb's character, showcasing his internal conflicts, regrets, and motivations. Ariadne's role as a curious observer adds a fresh perspective to the emotional dynamics at play.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb experiences a moment of introspection and vulnerability, revealing his inner conflicts and regrets to Ariadne. This interaction marks a significant shift in Cobb's emotional journey, setting the stage for potential growth and resolution.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with his regrets and find a way to move on from the past, particularly his guilt and longing for his deceased wife.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the dream world and confront his memories in order to find closure and redemption.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, revolving around Cobb's emotional struggles and the tension between his desire to move forward and his reluctance to let go of the past. The conflict is subtle but deeply felt.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist grapples with his inner demons, memories, and the consequences of his actions. The uncertainty of how he will resolve these conflicts adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional, focusing on Cobb's internal struggles and the potential consequences of his unresolved past. The scene sets up personal stakes for Cobb's journey towards redemption and reconciliation.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene does not significantly advance the external plot, it deepens the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations, relationships, and emotional stakes. It lays the groundwork for future developments and thematic exploration.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters, the revelation of the protagonist's inner turmoil, and the dream-like setting that blurs the lines between reality and memory.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the nature of dreams, memories, and reality. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the power of dreams to alter past events and the consequences of holding onto memories.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, tapping into themes of loss, regret, and longing. Cobb's poignant reflections on his family and past decisions resonate deeply, creating a sense of empathy and connection.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is introspective and laden with emotional weight, effectively conveying the characters' inner turmoil and conflicting desires. It drives the scene's emotional impact and reveals key aspects of the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, introspective dialogue, and the mystery surrounding the protagonist's past and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, allowing for moments of reflection and character development to unfold naturally.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, allowing for clear visualization of the dream-like setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional depth through the characters' interactions and revelations.


Critique
  • The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, with Cobb's regret and longing for his family taking center stage. However, the pacing could be improved, as the scene in the elevator feels a bit slow and could benefit from more concise dialogue.
  • The transition between the elevator and the kitchen feels abrupt. Consider adding a more natural transition to help the reader follow the change in setting.
  • The Thin Man character seems to serve a specific narrative purpose, but his dialogue and actions could be more subtle to avoid feeling heavy-handed. Consider integrating him more seamlessly into the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider shortening the elevator conversation between Ariadne and Cobb to maintain the emotional intensity without losing the reader's interest. This could be achieved by focusing on the core ideas and removing some of the repetition.
  • To create a smoother transition between settings, try adding a line or two of dialogue that hints at the upcoming change, or use a visual cue to signal the shift.
  • Revise the Thin Man's dialogue and actions to make his presence feel more organic and less like a plot device. This could involve giving him more subtle lines or having him interact with the environment in a way that feels more natural.



Scene 21 -  The Haunted Anniversary Suite
INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne hits the BASEMENT button. The elevator starts to
DESCEND. ariadne STARES, fascinated as glimpses of floors
slip past: Mal's childhood bedroom, a thundering wall of
freight train... The elevator STOPS. Through the grill
Ariadne sees a HOTEL SUITE. She pulls open the grill, steps
cautiously out into-

INT. ELEGANT HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS (NOW NIGHT)

DISHEVELED bedclothes, UPENDED room service table,
STRAWBERRIES across the floor. A STRUGGLE. Ariadne steps
forwards- SMASH− she looks down to see that she has kicked
over a CHAMPAGNE FLUTE. Ariadne feels a draught. The CURTAIN
BILLOWS.

MAL (O.S.)
What are you doing here?

Ariadne TURNS. Mal is there.
70.

ARIADNE
My name is-

MAL
I know who you are. What are you
doing here?

ARIADNE
I don't know. Trying to understand.

MAL
How could you understand? Do you
know what it is to be a lover? To
be half of a whole?

ARIADNE
No.

Mal moves slowly towards Ariadne...

MAL
I'll tell you a riddle. You're
waiting for a train. A train that
will take you far away. You know
where you hope this train will take
you, but you don't know for sure...

Mal glides around Ariadne, looking her over.

MAL
But... it doesn't matter. How can
it not matter to you where that
train will take you?

COBB (O.S.)
Because you'll be together.

Cobb is standing in the elevator. Mal nods. Looks at him.

MAL
How could you bring her here, Dom?

ARIADNE
What is this place?

COBB
A hotel. We spent our anniversaries
in this suite.

ARIADNE
What happened here?

Mal picks up the BROKEN STEM of a champagne flute...
71.

INT. CAGE STYLE ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb PULLS Ariadne into the elevator- Mal THROWS herself
towards Ariadne- Cobb SLAMS the GRILL- Mal SMASHES against it
AGAIN and AGAIN like a WILD ANIMAL- Ariadne FLINCHES-

MAL
you PROMISED! YOU SAID WE'D BE
TOGETHER!-

COBB
We can. We will. But I need you to
stay here for now-

MAL
YOU SAID WE'D GROW OLD TOGETHER!-

Cobb pushes a button and the elevator starts to rise.

COBB
I'll come back. I need you to stay
here on your own for now. Just
while I do this job. Then we can be
together-

MAL
WE'LL BE TOGETHER-YOU PROMISED!-

Mal THROWS herself against the grill, and. we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Ariadne watches Cobb sleeping. His eyes gradually flicker
open. He sees her watching him.

ARIADNE
You think you can just build a
prison of memories to lock her in?
You think that's going to contain
her?

The LIGHTS COME ON: Saito and Arthur stand in the doorway.

SAITO
Maurice Fischer just died in Sydney.

COBB
When's the funeral?

SAITO
Thursday. In Los Angeles.
72.

COBB
Robert'll accompany the body
Tuesday at the outside. We have to
move.

Cobb gets up. Ariadne comes over to him.

ARIADNE
(low)
I'm coming with you.

COBB
No. I promised Miles.

ARIADNE
The team needs someone in there who
understands what you're struggling
with. If you don't want it to be me
then you need to show Arthur what I
just saw.

Cobb looks at Ariadne. Turns to Saito.

COBB
We need one more seat on the plane.

INT. DEPARTURE GATE, SYDNEY - DAY

Saito stands looking out the window at a 747. Cobb arrives
beside him. They watch a COFFIN being loaded.

COBB
If I get on this plane and you
haven't taken care of things...
when we land I go to jail for the
rest of my life.

SAITO
Complete the job en route, I make
one phone call from the plane...
you will have no trouble clearing
immigration.

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - CONTINUOUS

The luxurious cabin has only ten seats. Cobb finds his- sees
Ariadne in the seat behind his. They do not acknowledge each
other. Behind her is Arthur, looking out the window. Eames
enters, STUFFS his bag into the overhead bin, BLOCKING the
passenger behind: ROBERT FISCHER, standing there, patient,
bag in hand, wearing black.

EAMES
Oh, sorry.
73.

Eames SQUEEZES up against his seat to let Fischer BRUSH PAST.
Fischer moves to his seat, directly in front of Cobb. Eames
TOSSES Cobb a PASSPORT. Cobb flips it open: Fischer's.
Pockets it. Yusuf and Saito enter, take their seats.

EXT. RUNWAY - MOMENTS LATER

The 747 HURTLES down the runway.

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb looks down at his hand: a TINY VIAL taped to the center
of his palm. He removes the cap. The seatbelt sign goes dark.
Cobb unbuckles, stands.

COBB
Excuse me?

Fischer looks up.

FISCHER
Yes?

COBB
I think this is yours...

Cobb holds up the open passport, comparing the picture to
Fischer. Fischer's hand goes to his pocket. Cobb hands
Fischer the passport.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Would you gentlemen care for a
drink?

FISCHER
Water.

COBB
Same.

Fischer gives Cobb a thin smile. Holds up his passport.

FISCHER
Well, thank you.

COBB
No problem. Look, I couldn't help
noticing your name. You're not
related to Maurice Fischer?

Fischer takes a beat. But Cobb seems harmless.

FISCHER
Actually, he was my father.
74.

COBB
I'm very sorry for your loss. He
was an inspiring figure.

The Flight Attendant brings their drinks- Cobb takes them.

COBB
Thanks.

As he turns to Fischer he LOWERS his right hand ... a CLEAR
LIQUID DROPS into Fischer's water as Cobb hands it to him.

COBB
To Maurice Fischer.
(they drink)
I'll leave you in peace.

Fischer grants him a smile.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama","Mystery"]

Summary Ariadne enters a luxurious hotel suite, only to find it in disarray. She encounters Mal, who is consumed by grief and confronts Cobb about broken promises, creating a tense atmosphere. The suite is revealed to be a place of past happiness, where Cobb and Mal celebrated their anniversaries. Mal's emotional turmoil reaches a fever pitch, leading to a frantic escape in the elevator. The scene shifts to a workshop where Cobb and Ariadne discuss the urgency of their mission after the death of Maurice Fischer, highlighting the weight of Mal's lingering presence and the danger it poses.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Intriguing concept of dream manipulation
  • Deep character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly dramatic
  • Complexity of dream world may be confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, emotionally charged, and sets up important plot developments. The confrontation between Cobb and Mal adds depth to the characters and raises the stakes for the upcoming mission.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams to manipulate emotions and memories is intriguing and well-executed in this scene. It sets the stage for the inception mission and explores the psychological complexities of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene as Cobb and his team prepare for the inception job. The confrontation with Mal adds a layer of tension and emotional depth to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of love and promises, blending it with elements of mystery and psychological depth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Cobb and Mal, are well-developed and their interactions reveal deep emotional conflicts and motivations. Ariadne's determination to understand Cobb's struggles adds a new dynamic to the team.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb experiences a moment of realization and acceptance in this scene, as he confronts Mal and acknowledges his need to move on. Ariadne's determination to join the team shows her growth and commitment.

Internal Goal: 9

Ariadne's internal goal is to understand the mysterious circumstances she finds herself in and to uncover the truth behind the relationships and conflicts between the characters.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the complex relationships and conflicts between the characters, particularly between Cobb and Mal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb and Mal, as well as the internal conflicts within Cobb, raise the tension in the scene. The high stakes of the inception mission add to the sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires, hidden agendas, and emotional confrontations between the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the inception mission, combined with Cobb's personal struggles and the confrontation with Mal, raise the tension and danger in the scene. The outcome of the mission could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the inception mission, introducing new challenges and conflicts, and deepening the emotional stakes for the characters. It paves the way for the next phase of the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions, the revelation of hidden motives, and the escalating tensions between them.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the nature of love, promises, and the consequences of actions. Mal's belief in the importance of promises and being together contrasts with Cobb's need to fulfill his job and make things right.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as it delves into Cobb's unresolved feelings towards Mal and his struggle to let go of the past. The confrontation in the dream world adds a layer of intensity and emotion.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and emotionally charged, particularly in the confrontation between Cobb and Mal. It reveals the characters' inner turmoil and sets the tone for the upcoming mission.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, mysterious atmosphere, and dramatic revelations. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and relationships.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, emotional exchanges, and plot progression. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in conveying the characters' internal and external conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It follows the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-paced structure, transitioning smoothly between locations and building tension through dialogue and character interactions. It adheres to the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from better connecting the different locations and timeframes. Consider using more transitional dialogue or visual cues to smooth out these shifts.
  • The dialogue in the hotel suite could be more balanced, with Mal having more substantial lines to better convey her perspective and motivations.
  • The pacing of the scene in the cage-style elevator and the hotel suite feels rushed, making it difficult for the reader to fully absorb the emotional impact of the interactions between Cobb, Ariadne, and Mal.
Suggestions
  • Add more descriptive language to the transitions between scenes, allowing the reader to better follow the changes in location and time.
  • Develop Mal's character further by giving her more lines and exploring her perspective, making her more than just a symbol of Cobb's guilt and regret.
  • Slow down the pacing in the cage-style elevator and hotel suite scenes, giving the reader more time to process the emotional weight of the interactions and the significance of the memories.
  • Consider adding more visual cues or descriptive language to emphasize the contrast between the idealized memories and the painful reality that Cobb is grappling with.



Scene 22 -  Ambush in the Rain
EXT. 747 - LATER

The great plane SOARS through a burning cloudscape.

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb reaches into the overhead for a blanket- lets it fall
onto Fischer's head- Fischer doesn't flinch. ASLEEP. Cobb
SIGNALS the others. The First Flight Attendant unlocks a
CUPBOARD in the galley, then leaves, closing the curtain.
Arthur moves into the galley and pulls out a MECHANISM CASE.

Cobb and Arthur open the mechanism- uncoil the tubes- feed
them around the window side of each of the seats. Arthur
rolls up Fischer's cuff- PUSHES the needle cap into Fischer's
wrist. Arthur pulls Fischer's cuff down and hides the tubes
behind the armrest of Fischer's seat.

Arthur runs the next tube to Ariadne. Cobb puts the case on
Yusuf's lap. Yusuf checks the TIMERS, tapping the syringes.
The others recline their seats. Yusuf HITS A BUTTON- closes
the case- places it at his feet. He settles back, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. SEDAN - DAY

Cobb DRIVES. Saito and Arthur are in the back. Rain BEATS
down. Cobb pulls over-

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf stands on the corner, silver briefcase in hand, collar
turned up against the rain. He reaches for the door.
75.

INT. SEDAN - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf clambers into the back, brushing rain from his face.

ARTHUR
(indicates rain)
Couldn't you have peed before you
went under?

YUSUF
Sorry.

The front door OPENS and Eames climbs in, soaked.

EAMES
Bit too much free champagne before
takeoff, Yusuf?

YUSUF
Ha bloody ha.

COBB
At least we know he'll be looking
for a cab in this.

INT./EXT. SEDAN ON RAINY NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls out into the heavy traffic. He weaves around
several cars before lining up behind a YELLOW CAB.

COBB
Brace yourselves.

Cobb hits the gas- REAR ENDS the cab with a CRUNCH. The
CABDRIVER gets out, fuming. Heads to Cobb's window-

CABDRIVER
Hey, asshole! Why don't you try
driving without your thumb up-

He sees the SILENCED PISTOL Cobb is holding at his belly.

COBB
Walk away.

The Cabdriver backs off. Arthur climbs into the cab. Both
cars pull away.

INT./EXT. CAB ON RAINY NEW YORK STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Arthur SLOWS in front of the TRAIN STATION, peering at the
pedes pedestrians. He SPOTS Fischer, lights the cab's sign.
Fischer FLAGS him down. Fischer JUMPS into the back, brushing
rain from his shoulders.
76.

FISCHER
Third and Market. Snappy.

Eames JUMPS in from the other side.

FISCHER
What're you doing?

EAMES
Sorry, I thought it was free. Maybe
we could share.

FISCHER
Maybe not.

Saito gets into the front passenger seat. Pointing a gun.

FISCHER
Great.

Arthur pulls away. Fischer pulls out his wallet and tosses it
at Eames.

FISCHER
(contemptuous)
There's 500 dollars in there. And
the wallet's worth more than that.
For that you ought to at least drop
me at my stop.

Eames smiles at this.

EAMES
I'm afraid-

A SHOT SHATTERS the window by Eames's head- another SHOT
IMPACTS by Saito-

EAMES
Get us out of here!

Arthur hits the gas, but a BLACK S.U.V. SKIDS sideways in
front, BLOCKING the path-

A BLOCK BEHIND- Cobb is at a light. ARIADNE is getting in the
front. Cobb has HEARD the GUNFIRE-

COBB
Come on!-

Cobb looks ahead to the AMBUSH, hits the gas- the sedan
ROCKETS forwards... but BAM- A FREIGHT TRAIN CLIPS THE FRONT
OF THE SEDAN, SHOVING IT SIDEWAYS AS AN ENDLESS TRAIN BARRELS
PAST, A WALL BETWEEN COBB AND THE AMBUSH-
77.

A SECOND S.U.V. is behind the cab- PLAIN CLOTHES SECURITY MEN
advance through the traffic, weapons trained on the cab.
Bullets RIP into the cab as Eames throws himself on top of
Fischer, PULLING a SACK over his head-

Inside the sedan, Ariadne watches the train passing-

ARIADNE
This wasn't in the design-

Cobb BACKS UP, SPINS around, heading for the tail of the
train-

A Security Man emerges from the front S.U.V. carrying an
AUTOMATIC RIFLE- he steps towards the cab through the rain,
raises his weapon and BLASTS THE CAB'S WINDSCREEN-

Cobb clears the end of the train, and SKIDS across the tracks-

Arthur CROUCHES down- PUSHES the accelerator with his HAND-
YANKS the wheel- FLYING BLIND. The cab NAILS the Security
Man, CRUNCHING into the front S.U.V.-

Cobb SMASHES his car into the rear S.U.V., creating a GAP-

Arthur YANKS the transmission and REVERSES- SCRAPING through
the gap- Security Men DIVE out of the way- Arthur throws a
ragged J-turn to head down a SIDE STREET- Cobb follows in the
other car. Rain whips across Arthur's face as he BREATHES-

ARTHUR
Everybody okay? Saito?

Arthur looks at Saito. Saito's hand is at his belly. Covered
in BLOOD.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense scene aboard a 747, Cobb and his team successfully sedate Fischer before transitioning to the rainy streets of New York City. As they ambush Fischer in a cab, a violent confrontation erupts, leading to gunfire and a chaotic escape attempt. The situation escalates with a freight train blocking their path, and the scene culminates in Arthur discovering that Saito has been shot, leaving the team in a precarious position.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High-stakes tension
  • Innovative concept of dream manipulation
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Limited character development in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a well-executed action sequence, intense moments, and a significant plot development. The combination of suspense, danger, and technological elements keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of entering dreams to manipulate thoughts and emotions, along with the high-tech sedative injection process, is innovative and intriguing. It adds depth to the plot and sets the stage for complex dream heists.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with the team's mission to plant an idea in Fischer's subconscious, leading to a high-stakes action sequence. The scene sets up crucial elements for the upcoming dream heist.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of dream manipulation and heist within a dream. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the suspenseful atmosphere.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters display determination, resourcefulness, and loyalty in the face of danger. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the scene and drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience growth and adaptation in the face of danger, showcasing their development and resilience. The challenges they face lead to subtle changes in their attitudes and actions.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to successfully complete the heist and extract valuable information from Fischer's subconscious. This reflects Cobb's desire to redeem himself and overcome his guilt and regrets.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to evade capture and complete the mission without getting caught by security forces. This reflects the immediate challenge of escaping the ambush and completing the heist successfully.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both external (gunfights, car chase) and internal (loyalty, deception). The characters face intense challenges that test their resolve and relationships.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with security forces and unexpected obstacles posing a threat to the characters' mission. The audience is kept on their toes as the characters navigate dangerous situations.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations, betrayal, and the risk of mission failure. The outcome of their actions could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward significantly, setting up crucial elements for the upcoming dream heist and escalating the tension and stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the heist, such as the ambush and car chase. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' fates and the outcome of the mission.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the morality of invading someone's dreams and manipulating their subconscious for personal gain. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the ethical implications of dream-sharing technology and the consequences of their actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, tension, and determination in the characters and the audience. The high-stakes situation and personal stakes heighten the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and serves the action-packed nature of the scene. It conveys urgency, tension, and character dynamics effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, fast-paced action, and suspenseful atmosphere. The audience is kept on the edge of their seats as the characters navigate dangerous situations.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. It follows the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the action sequences.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue, but it could benefit from more emotional depth and character development.
  • The pacing is fast, which helps build tension and excitement, but it might be useful to slow down in some moments to allow for character interactions and reactions.
  • The relationship between Cobb and Mal is central to the scene, but their emotional connection could be more fully explored. Consider adding more dialogue or action that highlights their history and Cobb's struggle to let go.
Suggestions
  • Develop the emotional connection between Cobb and Mal by adding more dialogue or action that highlights their history and Cobb's struggle to let go.
  • Slow down the pacing in moments to allow for character interactions and reactions, giving the reader a chance to connect with the characters on a deeper level.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or conversation between Cobb and the other characters about the risks and implications of their mission, which would help build tension and engage the reader emotionally.



Scene 23 -  Confrontation in the Warehouse
EXT. WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

The sedan and cab pull into the side entrance- Eames jumps
out− PULLS the shutter down behind them-

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf and Eames PULL Fischer from the cab, HUSTLING him
through a doorway. Cobb JUMPS out of the sedan, furious.

COBB
Arthur! Arthur what the-

Arthur pulls the bloody Saito from the front seat.

COBB
Oh, Christ. Is he dying?
78.

ARTHUR
I don't know. What happened back
there? Where were you?

COBB
We were blocked by a freight train.

ARTHUR
(to Ariadne)
Why would you put a train crossing
in a downtown intersection?

ARIADNE
I didn't.

COBB
(snaps)
Why were we all ambushed, Arthur?!
Those weren't regular projections-
they'd been trained!

ARIADNE
How could they be trained?

ARTHUR
Fischer's had an extractor teach
his mind to defend itself. His
subconscious is militarized. It
should've shown on the research-

COBB
So why the hell didn't it?!

ARTHUR
Calm down.

COBB
Don't tell me to calm down-you were
meant to check Fischer's background
thoroughly. You can't make this
kind of mistake-we're not prepared
for this kind of violence-

ARTHUR
Cobb, we've dealt with sub-security
before. We just have to be more-

COBB
This wasn't part of the plan, Arthur!
(points at Saito)
He's dying!

EAMES
So we put him out of his misery.
79.

Eames steps into the room, pulls his gun and moves over
Saito.

COBB
No.

EAMES
He's in agony. Let's wake him up-

Cobb GRABS Eames's arm.

COBB
No!
(they lock eyes)
It won't wake him up.

EAMES
What do you mean, it won't wake
him? When you die in a dream you
wake up.

YUSUF
Not from this. We're too heavily
sedated to wake up that way.

Eames looks at Yusuf, then to Cobb.

EAMES
So what happens if one of us dies?

COBB
That person doesn't wake up. Their
mind drops into Limbo.

ARIADNE
Limbo?

ARTHUR
Unconstructed dream space.

ARIADNE
What's down there?

ARTHUR
Raw, infinite subconscious. Nothing
there but what was left behind by
anyone on the team who's been trapped
there before. On this team... just
Cobb.

ARIADNE
How long would we be stuck there?
80.

YUSUF
You couldn't even think about
trying to escape until the sedation
eases-

EAMES
How long?

YUSUF
Decades-it could be infinite-I
don't know! Ask him-he's the one
who's been there before!

Eames moves to Cobb. Looks him in the eye.

EAMES
Great. So now we're stuck in
Fischer's mind battling it out with
his private army, and if we get hit
we're stuck in Limbo 'til our
brains dissolve into scrambled egg?

Cobb says nothing. Saito groans more loudly.

ARTHUR
Let's just get him upstairs.
Genres: ["Thriller","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a tense warehouse setting, Cobb arrives furious after an ambush, blaming Arthur for their lack of preparation against Fischer's militarized subconscious. As they grapple with Saito's critical condition and the dangers of dying in the dream state, the team discusses the implications of Limbo, a perilous unconstructed dream space. Amidst rising tensions and urgent decisions, Arthur suggests moving Saito upstairs, signaling a shift towards finding a solution despite the chaos.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Revealing new concepts
Weaknesses
  • Slight confusion about the rules of the dream world

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension and emotion, and introduces new elements that raise the stakes for the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Limbo and the repercussions of dying in the dream world are introduced, adding complexity and danger to the mission.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with the reveal of Fischer's militarized subconscious and the team facing unexpected challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like dream infiltration and subconscious militarization, adding a fresh approach to the familiar heist genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the plot forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters show their vulnerabilities, frustrations, and fear, adding depth to their relationships and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

The characters face heightened stakes and emotional challenges, leading to potential growth and change in their motivations and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control and keep the team safe in the face of unexpected violence and danger. This reflects his need for control and fear of losing his grip on the situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully extract information from Fischer's mind, but the unexpected violence and danger present a challenge to this goal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between team members, the fear of being trapped in Limbo, and the urgency of the situation create a high level of tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing unexpected violence and danger that threatens their mission. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the risk of being trapped in Limbo and losing a team member, adding urgency and danger to the mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles, deepening character dynamics, and raising the stakes.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected violence and danger that the characters face. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the consequences of entering someone's subconscious and the risks involved in manipulating dreams. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about control and the boundaries of reality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional turmoil, fear, and vulnerability of the characters resonate strongly with the audience, increasing the impact of the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, tense, and reveals the characters' emotions and intentions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense conflict, and fast-paced dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the unfolding mystery.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with quick dialogue exchanges and escalating tension. This contributes to the effectiveness of the scene by keeping the audience engaged and on edge.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear action and dialogue sequences that advance the plot.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue, but it could benefit from more context and emotional depth to help the reader better understand the characters' motivations and the stakes of their mission.
  • The relationship between Cobb and Arthur could be further developed to show their history and trust in each other, making Cobb's anger and blame more impactful.
  • The concept of Fischer's militarized subconscious should be better introduced earlier in the script to avoid information dump in this scene.
  • The scene could be more visually engaging with a stronger sense of place and setting.
  • The introduction of Limbo and its consequences could be foreshadowed earlier in the script to create more tension and suspense.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or conversation between Cobb and Arthur earlier in the script to establish their relationship and trust.
  • Introduce the concept of Fischer's militarized subconscious earlier, perhaps during the planning stages or in the previous scene where they discuss Fischer's background.
  • Add more descriptive language and visual cues to help the reader imagine the warehouse, the characters' expressions, and the overall atmosphere of the scene.
  • Include subtle hints or foreshadowing of Limbo and its consequences in earlier scenes, such as Cobb's dreams or conversations about the nature of dreams and subconscious.
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the scene by exploring the characters' fears, regrets, or desires, especially in relation to the mission and their personal lives.



Scene 24 -  Tensions and Revelations
INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Saito is laid out on an old desk. Arthur examines him. He
motions to Ariadne. Eames watches Cobb.

ARTHUR
Hold this. Firm pressure.

Arthur turns to Cobb.

ARTHUR
You knew the risks and you didn't
tell us.

COBB
There wasn't meant to be any risk.
We weren't supposed to be dealing
with a load of gunnre.

ARTHUR
You had no right.

COBB
It's the only way you can go three
layers deep, Arthur.

Arthur turns to Yusuf, hostile.
81.

ARTHUR
And you. You went along with this?

YUSUF
I trusted him.

ARTHUR
You trusted him? When? When he
promised you half his share?

YUSUF
(offended)
No! His whole share. Plus, he told
me he'd done it before.

Arthur turns to Cobb.

ARTHUR
Oh, yeah? With Mal? That worked out
great, didn't it, Cobb?

Cobb grabs Arthur.

COBB
You don't know anything about that.
This was the only way to do this
job, Arthur. I did what I had to do
to get back to my children.

EAMES
So you led us into a war zone with
no way out.

COBB
We have a way out. The kick. We
just have to push on, do the job as
fast as possible and get out using
the kick.

EAMES
Forget it. We go any deeper, we
just raise the stakes. I'm sitting
it out on this level.

COBB
You'll never make it, Eames.
Fischer's security is surrounding
this place as we speak. The ten
hours of the flight is a week at
this level−you'll never make it
without getting killed. Downwards
is the only way forwards. We have
to carry on.

Saito groans. Cobb looks at him-
82.

COBB
And we have to do it fast.

Eames and Arthur weigh this.

COBB
Eames, go get ready. Arthur, let's
get in there and soften him up.

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - LATER

Cobb and Arthur, wearing BALACLAVAS, PULL the sack from
Fischer's head. He is chained to the radiator.

FISCHER
I'm insured against kidnapping up
to ten million-this'll be simple-

COBB
No, it won't.

Fischer looks at Cobb, unnerved.

ARTHUR
In. your lather's office, below the
bookshelves, is his personal safe.
We need the combination.

FISCHER
I never noticed a safe-

COBB
Doesn't mean you don't know the
combination.

FISCHER
Well, I don't.

ARTHUR
We have it on good authority that
you do.

FISCHER
Whose?

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Yusuf looks through Fischer's wallet. Eames is opening a
HINGED, THREE-WING MIRROR.

YUSUF
Five hundred dollars, this cost?

EAMES
What's inside?
83.

YUSUF
Cash, cards, ID... and this-

Yusuf holds up a SNAPSHOT: the photo from Maurice Fischer's
office− YOUNG ROBERT holds his HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, his FATHER
blows on it. Eames takes it from Yusuf. STUDIES it. Cobb
enters. Eames hands him the snapshot.

EAMES
Useful?

Cobb studies the snapshot. Eames examines himself in the
hinged mirror from multiple angles: ONE BY ONE the myriad
Eames reflections BECOME BROWNINGS. Cobb pockets the photo.

COBB
You're on. You've got an hour.

EAMES
An hour? I was supposed to have all
night to crack him.

COBB
And Saito was supposed to keep his
guts on the inside. You've got an
hour-get something we can use.

Eames turns from the mirror AS BROWNING. He glances at his
watch, then SCREAMS, as if begging for mercy-

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Browning's CRY reverberates- Fischer looks up, concerned-

FISCHER
What's that?

ARTHUR
Good authority.

Another cry rings out. Fischer recognizes the voice.

FISCHER
Uncle Peter?! Make them stop-

ARTHUR
The combination.

FISCHER
I don't know it!

ARTHUR
Why would Browning tell us you did?

FISCHER
Let me talk to him-I'll find out.
84.

INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb pushes Browning (Eames), bloody and bruised, into the
room and forces him down next to Fischer. Cobb handcuffs
Browning's wrist to a metal bracket on the side of the sink.

COBB
You've got an hour. Get talking.

Cobb leaves.

BROWNING (EAMES)
They've had me for two days.
They've got someone with access to
your father's office and they're
trying to open his safe-they
thought I'd know the combination,
but I don't-

FISCHER
Neither do I, Uncle Peter.

BROWNING
(confused)
Maurice told me that after he
passed only you would be able to
open it.

FISCHER
He never gave me the combination.

Browning thinks for a minute. Realizes something.

BROWNING
He did, he just didn't tell you
that it was a combination.

FISCHER
What, then?

BROWNING
Something only you would know. Some
meaningful combination of numbers
from your experiences with Maurice-

FISCHER
We didn't have a lot of meaningful
experiences together.

BROWNING
Perhaps after your mother died...

FISCHER
After my mother died, I went to him
in my grief.
(MORE)
85.
FISCHER (CONT'D)
You know what he told me? "There's
really nothing to be said, Robert."

BROWNING
He always had a hard time with
emotional-

FISCHER
I was eleven, Uncle Peter.

Browning (Eames) takes this in.

BROWNING
He loved you, Robert. In his way.

FISCHER
"In his way?" At the end he called
me to his deathbed. He could barely
speak, but he took the trouble to
say one last thing to me. He pulled
me close... I could make out only
one word. "Disappointed."

Browning can say nothing.
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a dimly lit warehouse office, Arthur confronts Cobb about the reckless risks taken during their mission, expressing distrust towards Yusuf and reluctance to continue. Despite the rising tensions, Cobb insists on pushing forward to extract information from the chained Fischer, who reveals his complicated feelings about his father. The scene highlights the emotional stakes and conflicts among the team as they grapple with the dangers of their situation.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing concept
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging, with intense emotions, high stakes, and significant character revelations. The conflict is palpable, keeping the audience on edge.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of entering multiple layers of dreams, manipulating emotions, and extracting information is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is complex and gripping, with the team facing obstacles and making crucial decisions that drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as dream infiltration, complex heist dynamics, and moral ambiguity, offering a unique take on the thriller genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, each with their own motivations and conflicts. Their interactions reveal depth and complexity.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional changes, especially Fischer, as he confronts his past and his father's legacy.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to complete the job and return to his children, reflecting his deeper desire for redemption and reconciliation with his past actions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to extract information from Fischer and complete the heist successfully, reflecting the immediate challenge of navigating the complex dream layers and dealing with unexpected obstacles.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, with internal and external struggles driving the tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult moral choices, unexpected obstacles, and conflicting loyalties that add complexity and depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the team facing danger, betrayal, and the risk of failure in their mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges, deepening character relationships, and setting up the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations, unexpected plot twists, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' moral choices and the consequences of their actions, challenging their beliefs about loyalty, trust, and sacrifice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly through the characters' revelations and conflicts.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and driving the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense character interactions, and fast-paced dialogue that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, maintaining suspense, and driving the narrative forward at a brisk pace that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue cues that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-defined structure for a heist thriller, with clear character motivations, escalating tension, and a sense of urgency driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene is well-written with clear conflicts and character motivations. The tension between Cobb and Arthur is palpable, and the urgency of their situation is well-established.
  • The dialogue is natural and serves to move the plot forward. The characters' emotions are effectively conveyed through their words and actions.
  • The use of mirrors and reflections in the scene with Eames is a nice touch that adds visual interest and symbolism to the narrative.
  • The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, with a good mix of dialogue and action. The transitions between different locations and timeframes are clear and seamless.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the scene, such as the smell of the warehouse or the feel of the radiator, to make the setting more immersive.
  • Explore the possibility of deepening the emotional connection between Fischer and Browning by adding a few lines of dialogue that reveal their shared history or affection.
  • Consider adding a subtle hint of Cobb's guilt or regret when he mentions his desire to return to his children, to further emphasize the complexity of his character.
  • Consider adding a visual cue or gesture to show Cobb's determination or resolve when he tells the team they have to carry on, to make his character more dynamic and engaging.



Scene 25 -  Confronting the Abyss
INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls off his balaclava. Looks down at Saito, who is
breathing fast, shallow.

COBB
How's he doing?

ARIADNE
He's in a lot of pain.

Cobb takes Saito's hand. Looks him in the eye.

COBB
When we get you down to the next
level, the pain will be less
intense.

Saito nods, breathing hard.

ARIADNE
(low)
And if he dies?

COBB
His conscious mind will drop out of
the dream. He'll be trapped in
Limbo for a lifetime...

ARIADNE
What will that do to him?
86.

Cobb looks at her. Grave.

COBB
When he wakes... his mind could be
completely gone.

SAITO
When... when we wake I will still
honor our arrangement...

Cobb looks down at Saito sadly.

COBB
Saito-san, when you wake you might
not even remember that we had an
arrangement. You'll have forgotten
this world. Limbo will be your
reality. Lost there so long, you'll
have become an old man...

SAITO
Filled with regret?

COBB
Waiting to die alone. Yes.

SAITO
Then I'll take the chance and come
back. And we'll be young men
together again.

Saito smiles weakly. Cobb nods at him, turns to Ariadne.

ARIADNE
When were you trapped in Limbo?

Cobb says nothing. Ariadne pulls him away from Saito.

ARIADNE
Cobb, you might have convinced the
rest of this team to carry on with
the job. But they don't know the
truth.

COBB
What truth?

ARIADNE
The truth that at any minute you
might bring a freight train through
the wall. The truth that Mal is
bursting up through your
subconscious.
(MORE)
87.
ARIADNE (CONT'D)
The truth that as we go deeper into
Fischer, we're also going deeper
into you-and I'm not sure we're
going to like what we find there.

Cobb stares back at Ariadne. Saying nothing.

ARIADNE
This is not just about Fischer,
it's about you. Tell me what
happened to you and Mal. Trapped in
Limbo.

Cobb looks at her. Thinking it through.

COBB
We were on a job. Exploring dreams
within dreams. But we didn't
understand how your mind can turn
hours into years. How you can get
trapped. Trapped so deep that when
you wash up on the shore of your
subconscious...

INSERT CUT: MAL LIES ON THE SAND, STARING UP AT A CLOUDLESS
SKY, WAVES WASHING OVER HER...

COBB
You can lose track of what's real.

ARIADNE
How long were you stuck?

Cobb pauses before he answers. Looks at Ariadne.

COBB
Fifty years.

Ariadne stares at him, incredulous.

ARIADNE
How did you stand it?

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL BUILD A SANDCASTLE ON THE BEACH...
COBB
We built. We created a whole world
for ourselves...

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL WALK THROUGH A DESERTED CITY.

COBB
It's not so bad at first, being
gods. The problem is knowing that
it's not real. It became impossible
for me to live like that.
88.

ARIADNE
But not for her?

COBB
She accepted it. At some point...

INSERT CUT:
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction","Drama"]

Summary In a tense warehouse office, Cobb reassures a pained Saito about the risks of descending into Limbo, while Ariadne confronts him about the dangers of their mission and his traumatic past. Saito expresses a desire to return to youth despite the risks, showcasing his determination. Cobb reflects on his harrowing fifty years in Limbo with Mal, revealing the emotional scars that haunt him. The scene is filled with urgency and dread as the characters grapple with their fears and unresolved conflicts.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional depth
  • Rich character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Lack of action sequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, delving into the emotional and psychological depths of the characters, revealing crucial information about Cobb's past and the risks they face in the dream world.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Limbo and its consequences are explored in depth, adding layers of complexity to the narrative and raising the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as the characters confront the dangers of going deeper into the dream world and face the repercussions of their actions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the concept of dream-sharing and explores the psychological consequences of manipulating dreams. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Character development is rich and profound, particularly for Cobb and Ariadne, as they grapple with their pasts and the challenges ahead.

Character Changes: 8

Both Cobb and Ariadne undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in this scene, deepening their character arcs and adding complexity to their motivations.

Internal Goal: 9

Cobb's internal goal is to confront his guilt and trauma surrounding his wife, Mal, and his time spent in Limbo. He is grappling with his own subconscious and the consequences of his actions.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully navigate through the dream levels and complete the mission of inception on Fischer. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the dream world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict is high as the characters face internal and external challenges, including the threat of being trapped in Limbo and the emotional turmoil they must confront.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal conflicts, moral dilemmas, and the consequences of their actions. The uncertainty of the dream world adds to the opposition's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters risk being trapped in Limbo, facing the consequences of their actions, and confronting their inner demons.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Cobb's past, setting up the challenges they will face in the dream world, and deepening the emotional stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters, the revelation of Cobb's past, and the uncertainty of the dream world's consequences.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality, memory, and acceptance. Cobb is struggling with the idea of living in a constructed reality and the consequences of losing touch with what is real.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, delving into the characters' past traumas and fears, creating a sense of tension and vulnerability.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and revealing, shedding light on the characters' inner struggles and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character dynamics, and the high stakes involved in navigating the dream levels. The dialogue and tension keep the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, revealing character motivations, and exploring the psychological depths of the dream world. The rhythm of the dialogue and narrative direction enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and transitions between dream levels.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a psychological thriller, with a focus on character development, tension-building dialogue, and introspective moments.


Critique
  • The scene's emotional tension is well-executed, with the characters' vulnerability and the stakes of the mission clearly established.
  • The dialogue is engaging and informative, providing the audience with crucial backstory and context.
  • The use of INSERT CUTS effectively conveys the passage of time and the depth of Cobb and Mal's relationship in Limbo.
  • The scene's pacing is effective, balancing the emotional intensity with moments of reflection and exposition.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual details to the office and warehouse setting to create a stronger sense of place.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more non-verbal communication between the characters to emphasize the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Experiment with varying sentence length and structure to create a more dynamic and engaging reading experience.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of physical interaction between Cobb and Ariadne to further underscore the emotional connection between them.



Scene 26 -  Descent into Delusion
INT. MAL'S CHILDHOOD HOME - DAY

Mal opens a DOLL'S HOUSE. Inside is a SAFE. She opens it- it
is empty. She pulls out her SPINNING TOP.

COBB (V.O.)
...she'd decided to forget that our
world wasn't real.

Mal places the top inside the safe. LOCKS IT AWAY...

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

ARIADNE
And when you finally woke up?

COBB
To wake from that. From decades
lived. To be old souls thrown back
into youth. It was hard. At first
Mal seemed okay. But I started to
realize something was wrong.
Finally she admitted it. This idea
she was possessed by. This simple
little idea that changed
everything...

ARIADNE
What was it?

COBB
That our world was not real. No
matter what I did, no matter what I
said, she was convinced that we
were still in a dream. That we
needed to wake up again...

INT. COBB AND MAL'S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Cobb is trying to calm Mal, who is hysterical.

COBB (V.O.)
That to get home we'd have to kill
ourselves.
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne looks at Cobb, appalled.
89.

ARIADNE
What about your children?

Cobb has to look away.

COBB
She... she believed they weren't
real. That our real children were
waiting. Somewhere above...

INT. COBB AND MAL'S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Mal shakes her head at Cobb as he USHERS the children out of
the room, FACES UNSEEN-

COBB
Calm down, Mal-

MAL
They're projections, Dom. Your
dreams. I'm their mother-don't you
think I can tell the difference?

Cobb closes the door- turns to her, eyes full of bitter
tears.

COBB
If it's my dream then why can't I
control it? Why can't I stop this?

MAL
(it's obvious)
You don't know you're dreaming.

COBB
You keep telling me I am-

MAL
And you don't believe me!

COBB (V.O.)
She was certain. But she loved me
too much to go without me. So she
made a plan...
INT. ELEGANT HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Cobb walks along, checking door numbers against a key.

COBB (V.O.)
For our anniversary...

INT. ELEGANT HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)

Cobb enters the lavish suite. He notices the DISHEVELED
BEDCLOTHES.
90.

He steps forwards- SMASH- he has tipped over a champagne
glass with his foot... dinner for two is SPREAD ACROSS THE
FLOOR. He looks at the DEBRIS, confused... next to the broken
glass is a SPINNING TOP. He picks it up, studying it,
thinking. He feels a draught, looks to the window. The
CURTAIN BILLOWS.

EXT. EXTERIOR ATRIUM - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK)

Cobb looks out the window: Mal sits on the ledge of the
opposite window. HAIR BLOWING. Feet dangling over the
dizzyingly high atrium. She smiles.

MAL
Join me.

COBB
Mal, come back inside.

MAL
No. I'm going to jump. And you're
coming with me.

COBB
No, I'm not. This is real-if you
jump, you're not going to wake up,
you're going to die. Let's go back
inside and talk about this, please.

MAL
We've talked enough.

She KICKS off a shoe and watches it DROP.

MAL
Come out onto the ledge or I'll
jump right now.

She means it. Cobb swings his legs out, sitting on the ledge
opposite is wife. He looks down at the drop.

MAL
I'm asking you to take a leap of
faith.

COBB
I can't do that, Mal. I can't leave
our children.

MAL
If I go without you, they'll take
them away, anyway.

COBB
What do you mean?
91.

MAL
I filed a letter with our attorney.
Explaining how I'm fearful for my
safety, how you've threatened to
kill me...

Cobb looks back at the wrecked hotel suite, PANICKING...

MAL (CONT’D)
I love you, Dom. I’ve freed you
from the guilt of choosing to leave
them. We’re going home to our real
children.

COBB
Out children are here, Mal.

Mal CLOSES HER EYES. Cobb looks for some way to reach her...

MAL
You’re waiting for a train...

COBB
NO! MAL, NO, I CAN’T!

MAL
A train that will take you far
away...

COBB
DON’T DO THIS!

MAL
You know where you hope this train
will take you, you can’t know for
sure...

COBB
DON’T!

MAL
But it doesn’t matter...

COBB
NO!

MAL
Because you’ll be together...

Mal SLIPS FORWARD INTO SPACE. Cobb SCREAMS after her. Then
tries to bury his face in the wall...
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense and tragic scene, Mal's mental instability escalates as she confronts Cobb about her belief that their world is a dream and their children are mere projections. Flashbacks reveal Cobb's desperate attempts to convince her of their reality, culminating in a heart-wrenching moment where Mal threatens to jump from a ledge to prove her point. Despite Cobb's emotional turmoil and pleas, Mal ultimately slips off the ledge, leaving him in despair.
Strengths
  • Deep emotional conflict
  • Intriguing concept of dreams and reality
  • Tension-filled dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
  • Some scenes may be too intense for sensitive audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with emotional depth, tension, and significant character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of planting an idea in someone's subconscious, exploring the consequences of living in a dream world, and the manipulation of memories are all intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is complex and layered, with multiple storylines converging to create a compelling narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of reality versus dreams, with complex character dynamics and emotional depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with deep emotional conflicts and motivations that drive the story forward.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience significant emotional growth and revelations, particularly Cobb and Mal.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince his wife, Mal, that their world is real and that they need to stay in it. This reflects his desire to hold onto his family and his sense of reality.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent his wife from jumping off a ledge and committing suicide. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between characters is intense and drives the narrative forward, adding layers of tension and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and high stakes driving the conflict between the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face the risk of being trapped in Limbo, the consequences of failed inception, and the emotional turmoil of their pasts.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the characters' pasts, motivations, and the high-stakes mission they are embarking on.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting beliefs and the uncertain outcome of Mal's actions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will resolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and the power of belief. Mal believes that their world is not real, while Cobb is desperately trying to convince her otherwise. This challenges Cobb's beliefs about the nature of their existence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, delving into themes of loss, regret, and deception.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and reveals the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, suspenseful pacing, and complex character dynamics. The high stakes and dramatic tension keep the audience invested in the outcome of the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre. The use of visual cues and descriptive language enhances the reader's understanding of the setting and character actions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a nonlinear structure that enhances the suspense and mystery of the narrative. It effectively transitions between different locations and time periods, contributing to the overall atmosphere of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between different time periods and locations are not always clear. Consider using more explicit indicators to help the reader follow the narrative.
  • The dialogue in the flashback scenes could benefit from more context to provide a better understanding of the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, with some sections dragging on and others rushing through important moments. Try to balance the pacing to maintain the reader's engagement.
Suggestions
  • Add clear scene headers and transitions to distinguish between different time periods and locations, such as 'FLASHBACK: Cobb and Mal's Kitchen - Day'.
  • Include more context in the dialogue, especially in the flashback scenes, to help the reader understand the characters' emotions and motivations. For example, have Cobb explain why he feels guilty about leaving his children or have Mal express her fears about their situation.
  • Adjust the pacing of the scene by expanding on some moments and condensing others. For instance, you could spend more time on the emotional confrontation between Cobb and Mal on the ledge, while reducing the amount of time spent on less critical details.



Scene 27 -  Confronting the Past
INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - DAY

Cobb stares as he remembers.
92.

COBB
He letter to the authorities
refuted all the claims about her
sanity that she knew I’d make...

INT. COBB AND MAL’S KITCHEN - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Cobb stands with the Thin Man, who has a piece of paper.

COBB (V.O.)
She’d had herself declared sane by
three different psychiatrists.

Cobb hears a SHOUT- turns to the garden. James CROUCHES,
Philippa joins him, examining the ground, FACES UNSEEN...

COBB (V.O.) (CONT’D)
It was impossible for me to explain
the nature of her madness...

The Thin Man thrusts the paper into Cobb’s hand.

THIN MAN
Right now. Or never, Cobb.

Cobb turns back to the window- about to call out- James and
Philippa RUN OFF. Cobb turns from the window. Looks at the
paper in his hand. It is an AIRPLANE TICKET.

COBB (V.O.)
So I ran. And I’ve been running
ever since, trying to buy my way
back to my family...

INT. OFFICE, WAREHOUSE - DAY

Cobb looks across at Ariadne.

ARIADNE
Psychiatrists judged her sane?

COBB
She was sane. She was just lost in
the labyrinth.

ARIADNE
Then why should you blame yourself?

COBB
Because we were a family. And we
had a life I would do anything to
get back to now. But that reality
wasn’t enough for me then.
93.

ARIADNE
It might have been your idea to
push the limits, Cobb. But you’re
not responsible for the idea that
destroyed her. The idea that her
world wasn’t real... that was her
own idea from her own mind.

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE (CONT’D)
Your guilt defines her. Powers her.
If we’re going to succeed in this,
you’re going to have to forgive
yourself, and you’re going to have
to confront her. But you don’t have
to do it alone.

COBB
You don’t have to do this for me-

ARIADNE
I’m doing it for the others. They
don’t know the risk they’ve taken
coming in here with you.

Cobb looks at the rooftop opposite, sees a SNIPER take up a
position. Cobb shakes his head, frustrated.

COBB
We can’t stay here. Arthur?!
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a somber office setting, Cobb grapples with guilt over his late wife Mal's mental state, reflecting on their troubled past and the moment he chose to escape his responsibilities, symbolized by an airplane ticket from the Thin Man. Ariadne supports him, urging him to forgive himself and confront his feelings, while expressing concern for their team's safety. The scene is interspersed with flashbacks to Cobb's memories of Mal and their lost family, culminating in a sense of urgency as they realize they must leave due to a sniper threat.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Potential for dialogue to become overly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally charged, with deep exploration of character motivations and past traumas. The tension and stakes are high, driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of guilt, forgiveness, and confronting past trauma is well-developed and integrated into the narrative. The scene effectively blends psychological depth with the high-stakes mission.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as characters confront their inner demons while preparing for the mission. The tension and conflict are heightened, setting the stage for the climax.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on guilt, redemption, and responsibility, with authentic character actions and dialogue that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Character development is rich, with deep exploration of Cobb's guilt and Ariadne's determination. The interactions between characters drive the emotional core of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb and Ariadne undergo significant emotional growth in the scene, confronting their pasts and making decisions that will impact their futures. The scene sets the stage for character development.

Internal Goal: 9

Cobb's internal goal in this scene is to confront his guilt and forgive himself for the idea that destroyed Mal. It reflects his deeper need for redemption and his fear of losing his family.

External Goal: 8

Cobb's external goal is to protect his team and complete the mission of inception. It reflects the immediate challenge of facing obstacles and threats in the dream world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict is primarily internal, as characters grapple with their past traumas and the risks of the mission. The tension between characters adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal and external conflicts that challenge the protagonist's beliefs and actions, creating suspense and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high both emotionally and in terms of the mission. The characters face personal demons while preparing for a dangerous task, adding layers of tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the characters' motivations and relationships, setting up key conflicts and resolutions for the upcoming events. It advances the narrative while building tension.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters, the revelation of new information, and the unexpected twists in Cobb's internal conflict.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between guilt and forgiveness, responsibility and redemption. It challenges Cobb's beliefs about his role in Mal's downfall and his ability to move forward.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly around themes of guilt and redemption. The characters' internal struggles resonate with the audience, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is poignant and reveals the inner struggles of the characters. It effectively conveys the emotional weight of the scene and drives the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, moral complexity, and character dynamics. The audience is drawn into Cobb's internal struggle and the high stakes of the mission.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, with a mix of introspective moments and tense action sequences that maintain the audience's interest and drive the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and descriptive language that enhances the visual and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a seamless transition between flashback and present-day settings, and a clear focus on character development and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene's emotional impact is strong, focusing on Cobb's guilt and Ariadne's concern. However, the transition from the previous scene could be clearer, as it abruptly shifts from Mal's suicide to Cobb's guilt.
  • The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne is insightful, but the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling to convey the weight of Cobb's guilt and the danger they face.
  • The sniper on the rooftop is mentioned but not shown, making it less impactful. Consider showing the sniper earlier to build tension.
Suggestions
  • To improve the transition from the previous scene, include a brief moment of silence or reflection from Cobb before Ariadne speaks, emphasizing the emotional impact of Mal's suicide.
  • Incorporate more visual elements to convey Cobb's guilt, such as a flashback montage of happier moments with Mal, intercut with his current distress.
  • Show the sniper on the rooftop earlier in the scene, perhaps when Ariadne first mentions the risk they face, to build tension and reinforce the urgency of their situation.



Scene 28 -  Tension in the Bathroom
INT. BATHROOM, WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Browning puts his hand on Fischer’s shoulder.

BROWNING
These people are going to kill us
if we don’t give them the
combination.

FISCHER
They won’t, they’ll try to ransom
us-

BROWNING
I heard them-they’re going to lock
us in and run the can into the
river.

FISCHER
What is in the safe?
94.

BROWNING
Something for you. Maurice always
said it was his most previous
gift... a will.

FISCHER
Maurice’s will is with Port and
Dunn.

BROWNING
It’s an alternate. It supersedes
the other only if you want it to.

FISCHER
What does it say?

BROWNING
It splits all the component
businesses of Fischer Morrow into
individual companies, transferring
ownership to the boards of those
companies...

FISCHER
Leaving me nothing?

BROWNING
A basic living. Nothing more. The
entire empire would cease to exist.

FISCHER
Destroy my own inheritance? Why
would he suggest such a thing?

BROWNING
I don’t know, Robert.

Cobb OPENS the door. Arthur is behind him.

COBB
Come to your senses?

FISCHER
Let us go. I don’t know the
combination. Not consciously.

Cobb considers this. Opens his phone. Pulls out his gun.

COBB
Let’s try instinctively. I have
someone standing in your father’s
office ready to tap in a
combination.

He holds the phone to Fischer’s mouth.
95.

COBB (CONT’D)
First six numbers that come into
your head. Right now.

FISCHER
I have no idea-

Cobb SWINGS the gun onto Browning-

COBB
RIGHT NOW!

FISCHER
Five, two, eight... four, nine,
one.

Cobb lowers his weapon. Listens to the phone. Shakes his
head. Shuts the phone.

COBB
You’ll have to do better. Bag ‘em.

Arthur puts SACKS over their heads.

INT. WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Arthur drag Fischer and Browning to the van-

FISCHER
We’re worth much more to you
alive...

Arthur places Fischer on the back seat- uses a DROPPER to
drop LIQUID onto Fischer’s mask- his head SLUMPS FORWARDS.
“Browning” yanks the sack from his head- it is now EAMES.

EAMES
(excited)
His relationship with his father’s
much worse that we thought.

ARTHUR
That helps us?

Arthur pulls a SNIPER RIFLE from a case by the van.

COBB
The stronger the issues, the more
powerful the catharsis.

Cobb motions for Yusuf to follow his upstairs.

ARTHUR
But how do you reconcile them if
they’re that estranged?
96.

EAMES
I’m working on that.

Arthur lines up a shot through the window-

ARTHUR
Well, work fast-Fischer’s
projections are closing in quick,
we need to break out of here before
we’re totally boxed in...

Arthur SHOOTS two snipers. Cobb and Yusuf gently load Saito
into the van. He groans. Ariadne straps him in, checks his
bandages. Arthur can’t get the last sniper- he’s too hidden
behind a wall-

EAMES
Shouldn’t be afraid to dream a
little bigger, Arthur-

Eames lines up a shot with a grenade launcher. Fires- the
sniper EXPLODES into the air- Arthur looks at Eames.

EAMES (CONT’D)
Shall we?

They climb into the van-

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS

The van pulls out into the rain-drenched streets. Arthur
opens the mechanism case and hands out tubes-

COBB
Shifting Fischer’s antipathy from
his father onto Browning should
work.

EAMES
We need the imagery, the words...

ARIADNE
So you destroy his one positive
relationship?

COBB
No. We repair his relationship with
his father and expose his
godfather’s true nature.

EAMES
Hell, we should be charging Fischer
as much as Saito.
97.

ARTHUR
What about his security? It’s going
to get worse as we go deeper.

COBB
We bring in Mr. Charles.

ARTHUR
No.

EAMES
Who’s Mr. Charles?

ARTHUR
A bad idea.

COBB
Arthur, the second we approach
Fischer in that hotel, they’re
gonna mow us down-we run with Mr.
Charles like on the Stein job.

EAMES
So you’ve done it before?

ARTHUR
Sure. But it didn’t work. The
subject realized he was dreaming
and his subconscious tore us to
pieces.

Eames takes this in.

EAMES
You learned a lot, though. Right?

COBB
(to Eames)
I’ll need a decoy.

EAMES
No problem. How about a pretty
young lady I’ve used before?

COBB
Fine-

Cobb looks back: a second S.U.V. pulls out, tailing them.

COBB (CONT’D)
(to Yusuf)
I know you’ve got to stay ahead of
them, but drive with kid gloves,
okay? The world down there is going
to be very unstable-
98.

ARTHUR
And don’t make the jump too soon-
that kick is our only way back, we
have to be ready to catch it-

YUSUF
I’ll use the music to let you know
when it’s coming, but the rest is
up to you.

Arthur puts the mechanism onto the front seat.

YUSUF (CONT’D)
Everyone ready?

Nods all round.

YUSUF (CONT’D)
Sweet dreams-

Yusuf hits a button and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a dimly lit bathroom, Browning urgently warns Fischer of the danger they face unless he reveals the combination to a safe containing an alternate will from his father. Cobb and Arthur enter, with Cobb using intimidation to extract the information, but Fischer struggles to comply. After a failed attempt, the team captures them and discusses Fischer's troubled relationship with his father, strategizing on how to manipulate his subconscious. The scene concludes with the team driving away, preparing for the next phase of their plan amidst the looming threat.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Complex plot development
  • High-stakes action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Some characters' motivations could be further explored
  • Certain plot points may require more clarity

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, action, and emotional depth. It effectively sets up the stakes for the characters and the mission, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of extracting information from Fischer's subconscious using a multi-layered dream approach is innovative and well-executed. The use of emotional manipulation and deception adds layers to the plot.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate and well-developed, with multiple layers of conflict and suspense. The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up key elements for the climax.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as the concept of altering perceptions through dreams and the moral dilemma of sacrificing one's inheritance. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the plot forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear. Each character plays a crucial role in the operation, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Some characters experience subtle changes in their perspectives and motivations, especially in relation to the high-stakes mission and the emotional complexities involved.

Internal Goal: 8

Fischer's internal goal is to understand the contents of the safe and the implications of his father's will. This reflects his deeper need for control and security, as well as his fear of losing his inheritance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and escape the dangerous situation they are in. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing potential death or harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, driving the characters to make difficult decisions and face the consequences of their actions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing life-threatening challenges and moral dilemmas. The audience is kept on edge as they navigate the obstacles in their path.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and moral dilemmas. The outcome of the mission could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, setting up key plot points and character dynamics for the upcoming climax. It propels the narrative towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the plot, keeping the audience on edge. The characters' decisions and actions add to the unpredictability of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of loyalty, betrayal, and sacrifice. Fischer must grapple with the idea of destroying his own inheritance for a greater purpose, challenging his beliefs about family and legacy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and anxiety to determination and regret. The characters' emotional struggles add depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and drives the tension and conflict forward. It reveals the characters' personalities and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense dialogue, and fast-paced action. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and motivations.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted in a way that enhances the flow of the conversation.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that builds tension and suspense effectively. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the plot.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from a more gradual shift between locations and conversations.
  • The dialogue in the scene is often expository and could be more natural and engaging for the audience.
  • The characters' emotions and motivations could be more deeply explored, particularly Cobb's frustration and the urgency of their situation.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with little time for the audience to absorb the information and understand the characters' actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider using more subtle transitions between scenes, such as fading out or cutting to a character's reaction, to create a more seamless flow.
  • Incorporate more natural dialogue and banter between the characters to make their interactions feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Develop the characters' emotions and motivations through their actions and dialogue, giving the audience a deeper understanding of their thoughts and feelings.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene, allowing the audience to fully absorb the information and understand the characters' actions and motivations.



Scene 29 -  Deception at Dusk
INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - SUNSET

Fischer nurses a drink. Staring at the ice cracking.

BLONDE (O.S.)
Am I boring you?

Fischer looks up. A beautiful BLONDE is next to him.

BLONDE (CONT’D)
I was telling you my story. I guess
it wasn’t to your liking.

FISCHER
I have a lot on my mind.

Fischer looks around the bar. There are several STERN-LOOKING
CHARACTERS paying him too much attention.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Arthur and Ariadne sit at a table across the lobby. They spot
Cobb moving across the lobby towards Fischer.

ARTHUR
And there goes Mr. Charles.

ARIADNE
Who or what, exactly, is Mr.
Charles?
99.

ARTHUR
It’s a gambit designed to turn
Fischer against his own
subconscious.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb approaches the bar, watched closely by Fischer’s Sub-
security.

COBB
Mr. Fishcer! Good to see you again.
Rod Green, Marketing.
(to Blonde)
And you must be...

BLONDE
Leaving.

She presses against Fischer as she slides off her stool and
deposits a cocktail napkin in front of him.

BLONDE (CONT’D)
In case you get bored.

Cobb watches her walk away. The Sub-security FOLLOWS her.

COBB
I think you just got blown off...
unless her phone number really does
have only six digits.

Fischer glances at the napkin: “528-491.”

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Arthur watches the Sub-security follow the Blonde.

ARIADNE
And why don’t you approve?

ARTHUR
Because it involves telling the
mark that he’s dreaming. Which
involves attracting a lot of
attention to us.

ARIADNE
Didn’t Cobb say never to do that?

ARTHUR
You must’ve noticed by now how much
time Cobb spends doing things he
says never to do.
100.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb turns to Fischer.

COBB
Strange way to make friends.
(off look)
Lifting your wallet, I mean.

Fischer pats his pocket. Empty. He looks to the lobby where
he sees the Sub-security trailing the Blonde.

FISCHER
Goddamn it. The wallet alone’s
worth-

COBB
Five hundred bucks. I know. Don’t
worry, my guys are on it.

FISCHER
Who did you say you were?

Fischer looks at him, curious. Cobb plows on, confident-

COBB
I said I was Rod Green from
Marketing-but I’m not. My name is
Mr. Charles. I might seem familiar
to you. I’m in charge of your
security here.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

The Blonde hurries up to Saito, emerging from the elevator-

BLONDE
Mr. Saito, can I have a minute?

She pushes him back into the elevator, closing the door as
the Sub-security approaches...

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

The Blonde fondles Saito’s lapels, getting close.

SAITO
I’m sorry, but...

Saito glances over her shoulder to see, in the tunnel of
infinite reflections created by the elevator’s opposing
mirrors, three reflections in, THE BLONDE IS EAMES. He winks.

SAITO (CONT’D)
(pushing him away)
Very amusing, Mr. Eames.
101.

EAMES
You look a bit perkier.

A SHUDDER ripples through the elevator.

SAITO
Turbulence on the plane.

EAMES
Feels closer. That’s Yusuf’s
driving.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

Yusuf FIGHTS the wheel as the van CUTS DOWN AN ALLEY, BUMPING
OVER POTHOLES and SMASHING TRASH CANS aside- THREE S.U.V.s IN
FURIOUS PURSUIT. Yusuf looks in the rear view mirror,
FRUSTRATED. He checks his WATCH, then checks the back: the
SLEEPERS SHAKE with the impact and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - NIGHT

As a TREMOR echoes through the bar Fischer looks at Cobb
trying to place him.

FISCHER
Security? You work for the hotel?

COBB
No. My specialty is subconscious
security.

FISCHER
You’re talking about dreams. You’re
talking about extraction.

COBB
Exactly. My job is to protect
you...

Behind Fischer a WAITER puts down a tray- tipping a champagne
glass over- SMASH- Cobb NOTICES. Pauses, looks across the bar-
HIS TWO CHILDREN ARE CROUCHED, BACKS TOWARDS US...

Cobb looks around the bar, the patrons start to STARE at
Cobb, suspicious- Cobb shifts back to Fischer-
102.

COBB (CONT’D)
My job is to protect you from any
attempt to access your mind through
your dreams.

Cobb regains his patter- the patrons lose interest...
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a hotel lobby bar at sunset, Fischer is distracted by a beautiful blonde woman, who is actually Eames in disguise, while Cobb approaches him under the guise of 'Rod Green' but reveals himself as 'Mr. Charles,' tasked with protecting Fischer from subconscious threats. As Eames distracts Fischer's Sub-security, tension escalates with a tremor felt in the bar, hinting at chaos outside. Cobb reassures Fischer of his protective intentions, while Arthur and Ariadne express concern about the risks of their plan, culminating in a suspenseful atmosphere as patrons grow suspicious of Cobb.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Intrigue
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Potential lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up a complex web of intrigue, keeping the audience engaged with its mysterious and intense tone.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of manipulating dreams and subconscious security is intriguing and well-executed, adding depth to the plot and character dynamics.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as Cobb tries to gain Fischer's trust and access his subconscious, setting up crucial developments for the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts of subconscious security and dream manipulation, while also exploring complex character dynamics and moral dilemmas.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Cobb and Fischer, are well-developed and their interactions drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are subtle shifts in character dynamics, particularly between Cobb and Fischer, the scene focuses more on external conflict and manipulation.

Internal Goal: 8

Fischer's internal goal is to protect his subconscious and prevent any attempts to access his mind through his dreams.

External Goal: 7

Fischer's external goal is to navigate the complex web of security and deception surrounding him, particularly in relation to the Blonde and Cobb's true identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb, Fischer, and the looming threats creates a high level of tension and suspense, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing obstacles and challenges that add tension and complexity to the plot.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident as Cobb navigates a dangerous situation, facing potential threats and the risk of failure in their mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, escalating the conflict, and setting up the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the plot, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of invading someone's subconscious and manipulating their dreams for security purposes. This challenges Fischer's beliefs about privacy and control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, curiosity, and conflict, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and serves to reveal character motivations and advance the plot effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, suspenseful atmosphere, and intriguing character interactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and suspenseful moments that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals key plot points in a coherent manner.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from being more seamless, allowing for a better flow between the different locations and actions.
  • The dialogue in the hotel lobby bar could be more engaging and natural, as some lines feel overly expository and lack a sense of authenticity.
  • The connection between the different storylines and characters is not always clear, making it challenging for the reader to follow the narrative and understand the significance of each event.
Suggestions
  • Smoother scene transitions can be achieved by using fades or dissolves between cuts, making the shift between locations feel more natural and connected.
  • To improve the dialogue, consider incorporating more colloquial language and body language to create a more authentic and engaging conversation between the characters.
  • To clarify the connections between the storylines and characters, include brief explanations or visual cues that help the reader understand the relationships and significance of each event.



Scene 30 -  Dreams and Dangers
INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Eames pulls out Fischer’s wallet, moves to hand it to Saito,
then PAUSES, opens it, leafs past the cast to find... The
SNAPSHOT: young Robert holding his HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, his
father blowing on it. The elevator doors open and Eames steps
off. HANDS Saito the wallet.

EAMES
Get off at a different floor and
keep moving. Dump the wallet, then
meet me in the lobby. The security
will try to track it down. We need
to buy Cobb a little more time.

The doors close. Saito puts the wallet in his pocket. He
COUGHS- a deep, nasty cough.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks over Fischer’s shoulder to see a SUITED MAN
watching him. Another MAN is walking in from the lobby.

COBB
You’re not safe here.

Cobb steps away from the bar. Fischer does not move.

COBB (CONT’D)
Trust me. They’re coming for you.

Fischer sizes him up, A CLAP OF THUNDER ECHOES, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

GUNSHOTS BLAST out the rear and side windows of the van- a
Security Man is leaning out of the lead S.U.V. With a SHOTGUN-

WIND AND RAIN RIP THROUGH THE VAN- in the back, ARTHUR’S
SLEEPING FACE IS WHIPPED BY THE SPRAY, AND WE-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - SUNSET

Fischer looks out the windows at sudden, HURRICANE-LIKE RAIN-
103.

COBB
Strange weather, huh?

A TREMOR runs through the bar- Cobb looks around-

COBB (CONT’D)
You feel that?

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne and Arthur watch the GUSTS OF WIND RATTLE the
windows. Arthur sees HOTEL GUESTS staring out at the weather,
PUZZLED. Several of them TURN TO LOOK DIRECTLY AT ARTHUR.

ARIADNE
What’s happening?

ARTHUR
Cobb’s drawing Fischer’s attention
to the strangeness of the dream.
That’s making his subconscious look
for the dreamer. For me.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - DAY

At the end of the alley- Yusuf THROWS the van into a HARD
RIGHT TURN- we move into EXTREME SLOW MOTION... THE SLEEPERS
IN THE BACK ARE DRAWN TO ONE SIDE OF THE VAN BY THE
CENTRIFUGAL FORCE... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - CONTINUOUS

The liquid in Fischer’s drink RISES UP AGAINST ONE SIDE OF
THE GLASS- Fischer notices, confused.

COBB
Very odd-the weather, the
gravity...
Fischer looks around the bar- it’s as if THE ENTIRE ROOM IS
SET AT A 45-DEGREE ANGLE- glasses SLIDING off tables...

COBB (CONT’D)
But I can explain all this. You’ve
actually been trained for this.
(Fischer nods)
Think of the strangeness of the
weather, the shifts in gravity.
None of this is real...
(MORE)
104.
COBB (CONT’D)
(beat)
We’re in a dream.

Fischer looks at the room around them. Back to Cobb. All
through the bar, patrons turn to look at Cobb IN UNISON.

COBB (CONT’D)
The simplest test of what I’m
saying is for you to try and
remember anything about the way you
arrived in this hotel... okay?

Fischer stares at Cobb, trying to process this. All around
them, people STARE at Cobb. Several get up as if to approach.

COBB (CONT’D)
Breathe. Remember the training.
Accept the fact that we’re in a
dream. That’s why I’m here
protecting you.

As Fischer considers this we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction","Drama"]

Summary In a tense hotel lobby bar during a storm, Eames retrieves Fischer's wallet and instructs Saito to help buy time. Cobb warns Fischer of the imminent danger and attempts to convince him that they are in a dream, while the patrons begin to focus on Cobb, heightening the urgency. As the weather outside worsens, Cobb urges Fischer to accept their surreal situation, leading to a moment of confusion and danger.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Complex dream concepts may be confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively builds tension, introduces high stakes, and delves into the complex emotions and motivations of the characters. The combination of suspenseful elements and character dynamics keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams within dreams, manipulating subconscious thoughts, and dealing with the consequences of deep dream levels is innovative and well-executed. The scene effectively explores these complex concepts and their impact on the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with the characters facing escalating challenges and conflicts. The introduction of new information and the development of the mission to extract information from Fischer's subconscious drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts like dream-sharing technology and explores the complexities of dreams and reality. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' relationships, motivations, and internal conflicts are explored in depth, adding depth and complexity to the scene. The interactions between the characters reveal their individual personalities and dynamics within the team.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo internal changes and confront their own beliefs, fears, and motivations in this scene. The challenges they face force them to reevaluate their actions and decisions, leading to personal growth and development.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect Fischer and guide him through the dream world, reflecting his desire to redeem himself and prove his loyalty.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to keep Fischer safe from the threats in the dream world and help him navigate through the challenges they face.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters face challenges, threats, and moral dilemmas. The escalating tension and high stakes drive the narrative forward and keep the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing external threats in the dream world and internal conflicts related to their beliefs and motivations.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters facing physical danger, moral dilemmas, and the risk of being trapped in Limbo. The consequences of failure are severe, adding tension and urgency to the mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information, escalating conflicts, and setting up the next phase of the mission. The developments in the scene propel the narrative towards its climax and resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting nature of dreams, the unexpected twists in the plot, and the characters' uncertain fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between reality and illusion, as the characters grapple with the concept of being in a dream and the implications of their actions within it.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, suspense, empathy, and concern for the characters. The emotional depth of the characters and their struggles adds complexity to the narrative and engages the audience on a deeper level.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys tension, emotion, and the complexities of the characters' relationships. The conversations between the characters reveal their thoughts, fears, and motivations, driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, intense dialogue, and surreal imagery that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspenseful moments that maintain the audience's interest and drive the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from being more seamless, allowing for a better flow between the different locations and actions.
  • The dialogue in the hotel lobby bar could be more natural and engaging, as some lines feel expository and lack a sense of authenticity.
  • The tension in the hotel lobby bar could be heightened by making the patrons' reactions more menacing or suspicious, creating a stronger sense of danger for Fischer and Cobb.
Suggestions
  • Consider using more gradual transitions between scenes, such as cross-fades or match cuts, to create a more cohesive narrative.
  • In the hotel lobby bar, have Fischer and Cobb engage in a more natural conversation, allowing Fischer to express his thoughts and feelings more organically.
  • Enhance the tension in the hotel lobby bar by having the patrons react more aggressively, creating a greater sense of urgency and danger for Fischer and Cobb.



Scene 31 -  Confronting the Subconscious
INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS - DAY

Yusuf STRAIGHTENS UP the van, RACING down the street,
swerving through traffic and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BAR - EVENING

The building gradually EASES BACK INTO ALIGNMENT-

FISCHER
So you... you’re not real?

The bar patrons start to ignore Cobb again.

COBB
No. I’m a projection of your
subconscious. I was put in place to
protect you in the event that
extractors pulled you into a dream.
I believe that’s what has happened.

Fischer takes this in. Then looks at the Security Men
approaching across the crooked floor, he nods at Cobb-
105.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - EVENING

Cobb escorts Fischer across the lobby. As he does so, he
walks past the two CHILDREN, backs to us- Cobb ignores them-
The two Sub-security fall in behind. Cobb hurries Fischer up
the stairs- then PUSHES him into-

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer stumbles in- turns to Cobb, angry-

FISCHER
Hey-

Cobb reaches into his jacket- the First Man BURSTS in- Cobb
KICKS him to the ground- DRAWS his gun as the SECOND MAN
comes through the door, moving towards Fischer-

BLAM! Cobb BLASTS the Second Man in the back- TURNS and
SHOOTS the First Man.

FISCHER (CONT’D)
Jesus Christ! What are you doing?!

Cobb turns to Fischer, calm. Convincing.

COBB
Look at the gun in his hand.

Fischer looks: the Second Man was holding a pistol. Cobb
opens the First Man’s jacket to show Fischer his holster and
sidearm.

COBB (CONT’D)
These men were sent to abduct you.

Cobb pulls out the gun and HANDS it to Fischer.

COBB (CONT’D)
If I’m going to help you, I need
you to be calm.

Fischer remembers something.

FISCHER
If this is a dream, I have to kill
myself and wake up-

Fischer raises the gun towards his head-

COBB
I wouldn’t do that-they’ve probably
got you sedated. If you pull that
trigger, you might not wake up, you
might drop into a lower dream
state.
(MORE)
106.
COBB (CONT'D)
Mr. Fischer, you know all this, you
just have to remember it...

Fischer lowers his gun.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Saito walks down the corridor, followed by a Security Man.
Saito DUCKS around the corner, moves to a GARBAGE CHUTE and
DROPS Fischer’s WALLET into it. He SLIPS into the stairwell
as the Security Man comes abreast of the chute and pauses.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur leads Ariadne to a particular room: 491.

INT. ROOM 491 - CONTINUOUS

Arthur leads Ariadne in. He opens the closet, opens the room
safe, pulls our FOUR BRICKS OF PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.

ARTHUR
So, if everything’s correct, this
room should be directly below 528.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks reassuringly at Fischer.

COBB
What do you remember from before
this dream?

FISCHER
(thinking)
Rain... gunfire... Uncle Peter.
(looks up)
Christ-we’ve been kidnapped.

COBB
Where were they holding you?

FISCHER
They had us... in the back of a
van...

COBB
Your body’s bouncing around in the
back of a van right now-that
explains the gravity shifts.

FISCHER
It was... to do with a safe...
Christ, why’s it so hard to
remember?
107.

COBB
It’s like trying to remember a
dream after you’ve woken up. It
takes years of practice to do it
easily. So, you and Browning have
been pulled into this dream so they
can steal something from your mind.
What?

FISCHER
They wanted a combination to a
safe... they demanded the first
numbers to pop into my head.

COBB
That’s them extracting a locator.

FISCHER
A locator?

COBB
A number from your own
subconscious. It can be used any
number of ways...
(thinking)
This is a hotel. Room numbers. What
was the number you gave them?

FISCHER
5, 2... something... it was a long
number. 528... 528, 4 something.

COBB
(opens phone)
Well, we know where to start.
(into phone)
Fifth floor.

INT. ROOM 491 - CONTINUOUS

Arthur hangs up the phone. He is standing on a chair,
attaching the explosives to the ceiling.

ARIADNE
Do you use a timer?

ARTHUR
No, I have to judge it myself. Once
you’re all asleep up in room 528, I
wait ‘til Yusuf starts his kick...

ARIADNE
How will you know?
108.

ARTHUR
His music warns me it’s coming,
then the van hitting the barrier of
the bridge should be unmistakable-
that’s when I blow the floor out
from underneath us and we get a
nice synchronized kick. Too soon,
and we won’t get pulled out; too
late and I won’t be able to drop
us.

ARIADNE
Why not?

ARTHUR
The van will be in free fall. I
can’t drop us with no gravity.

Arthur finishes setting the charges.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Saito moves through the lobby. Browning is coming in the
other direction. Saito assumes him to be Eames.

SAITO
I see you’ve changed.

BROWNING
I’m sorry?

Eames comes up behind Browning, catching Saito’s eye.

SAITO
I’m... I mistook you for a friend.

BROWNING
Good-looking fellow, I’m sure.

Browning moves off. Saito approaches Eames.

EAMES
That’s Fischer’s projection of
Browning. We’ll keep an eye on how
he behaves-

SAITO
Why?

EAMES
How he acts will tell us if
Fischer’s starting to suspect his
motives the way we want him to.
109.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR, FIFTH FLOOR - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb leads Fischer around a corner. Arthur and Ariadne are
waiting in the corridor.

COBB
They work for me.

Fischer starts looking at room numbers. Stops at 528. Cobb
draws his gun, steps back from the door and KICKS it open.

INT. ROOM 528 - CONTINUOUS

Cobb JUMPS into the room, gun up. The room is empty. Arthur
and Ariadne search the room. Saito and Eames arrive. Eames
shuts the door. Arthur FINDS something-

ARTHUR
Mr. Charles!

Arthur holds up a MECHANISM CASE. Cobb shows it to Fischer.

COBB
You know what this is?

Fischer’s eyes roam over the dials and plungers.

FISCHER
I think so. But I don’t understand.

COBB
They were going to put you under.

FISCHER
I’m already under.

COBB
Under again.

FISCHER
A dream within a dream?

ARTHUR
Shhhh!

Arthur is at the door. Someone is there. A key goes into the
lock- the door starts to open- Arthur REACHES OVER and GRABS
the person entering, THROWS THEM TO THE FLOOR- puts his gun
in their face. IT IS BROWNING.

Fischer stares, disbelieving, at his own godfather.

FISCHER
Uncle Peter. What’s going on?

Cobb pulls the key from Browning’s hand: ROOM 528.
110.

COBB
You said you were kidnapped
together?

FISCHER
Not exactly, they already had him.
They’d been torturing him...

COBB
You saw them torture him?

Fischer shakes his head. Looks at Browning. Thinking.

FISCHER
The kidnappers are working for you.

BROWNING
No, Robert-

FISCHER
You’re trying to get that safe
open. To get the alternate will.

Browning looks up at Fischer.

BROWNING
Fischer Morrow’s been my entire
life. I can’t let you destroy it.

FISCHER
I’m not going to throw away my
inheritance. Why would I?

BROWNING
I couldn’t take the chance of you
rising to your father’s final
taunt.

FISCHER
What taunt?

BROWNING
That will. I’m sorry, Robert, but
it’s his final insult. A challenge
to build something for yourself.
He’s telling you that you aren’t
worthy of his achievements.

Fischer takes this in. Devastated.

FISCHER
That he was “disappointed?”
111.

BROWNING
I’m so sorry. But he was wrong.
You’ll make his company even
greater than he ever could.

COBB
Your godfather’s lying, Robert.

Fischer turns to Cobb.

FISCHER
How do you know?

COBB
It’s what I do. He’s hiding
something.

Cobb looks at Browning.

COBB
Let’s find out what.

Cobb nods at Arthur, who starts unpacking the mechanism.
Browning watches. Silent.

COBB
Let’s do to him what he was going
to do to you.

Cobb rolls up his sleeve. Nods at Fischer to do the same.

COBB
We’ll penetrate his subconscious
and find out what he doesn’t want
you to know.

Fischer looks Cobb in the eye. Decides- rolls up his sleeve,
offering his bare arm. The team run tubes to each other-
Arthur injects Fischer, whose head slumps.

ARTHUR
He’s out.

ARIADNE
Wait, Cobb-I’m lost. Whose
subconscious are we going into?

COBB
Fischer’s. I told him it was
Browning’s so he’d come with us as
part of our team.

ARTHUR
(impressed)
He’s going to help us break into
his own subconscious.
112.

COBB
That’s the idea. He’ll think that
his security is Browning’s and
fight them to learn the truth about
his father.

Arthur hits buttons on the mechanism. The team goes out one
by one. Cobb is last.

COBB
Fischer’s subconscious is going to
run you down hard.

ARTHUR
I’ll lead them on a merry chase.

COBB
Be back in time for the kick.

ARTHUR
I’m on it.

Cobb is no longer listening- he stares at the net curtains,
BILLOWING like those in Mal’s suite- a GLIMPSE of someone
(Mal?) As the screen goes WHITE, and we are-
Genres: ["Thriller","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a tense hotel lobby, Cobb reveals to Fischer that he is a projection of his subconscious, tasked with protecting him. As security threats approach, Cobb leads Fischer to a bathroom where they confront and eliminate the danger. They deduce that Fischer's kidnappers are after a safe combination. Meanwhile, Arthur and Ariadne prepare explosives, and the team converges on room 528, where they uncover Browning's ulterior motives. The scene culminates with the team gearing up to delve into Fischer's subconscious to uncover the truth.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional moments
  • Revealing character interactions
  • High-stakes tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and reveals crucial information, moving the story forward significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams within dreams to extract information and manipulate subconscious thoughts is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens as hidden agendas are uncovered, leading to a high-stakes confrontation that propels the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts of dream manipulation and subconscious exploration, offering a unique take on the heist genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the tension and emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Fischer undergoes a significant emotional change as he learns the truth about his father and his godfather's betrayal.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect Fischer and uncover the truth about his father's intentions. This reflects Cobb's desire to redeem himself and reconcile with his past mistakes.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to extract information from Fischer's subconscious and navigate through the dream layers to achieve their objective. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between characters is palpable, with high stakes and emotional intensity driving the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, hidden agendas, and shifting loyalties among the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of who to trust or what will happen next.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as characters face the threat of being trapped in dreams and the revelation of hidden agendas.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information and setting up the next phase of the plan.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected plot twists, character revelations, and shifting alliances. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' true motivations and intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of identity, manipulation, and betrayal. Fischer's struggle to trust his own perceptions and Cobb's attempt to uncover the truth challenge their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact is high, with characters facing personal revelations and making difficult decisions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character motivations and building suspense effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, fast-paced action, and emotional depth. The audience is invested in the characters' journey and the unfolding mystery.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspenseful moments. The rhythm contributes to the scene's effectiveness and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with concise action descriptions and character interactions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-defined structure with clear transitions between locations and characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother, providing better context for the reader. For example, when cutting from Yusuf driving the van to the hotel lobby bar, it would help to indicate the shift in time and location.
  • The dialogue in the scene is lengthy and could benefit from being more concise. Consider breaking up long speeches into shorter, snappier exchanges to maintain the reader's engagement.
  • The characters' emotions and motivations are not always clear. For instance, Fischer's reactions to Cobb's revelations about the dream world could be more nuanced, and the tension between Arthur and Ariadne needs to be better established.
Suggestions
  • Add brief transition sentences or phrases to guide the reader through scene changes, such as 'Meanwhile, in the hotel lobby bar...'
  • Edit dialogue to be more concise and impactful, focusing on key points and avoiding unnecessary repetition.
  • Develop characters' emotions and motivations further by adding internal thoughts, reactions, or backstory to create a more immersive reading experience.



Scene 32 -  Preparation on the Edge
EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

CLOSE ON Cobb’s face, staring. Fixed.

ARIADNE (O.S.)
Cobb? Cobb?

Ariadne is beside him. They stand on a cliff, dressed in
white snowsuits, carrying white-painted weapons like WWII
commandos. Cobb checks his SNIPER RIFLE, examines their
objective: a massive FORTIFIED MEDICAL FACILITY a mile below.

ARIADNE
What’s down there?

COBB
Hopefully, the truth we want
Fischer to learn.

ARIADNE
I meant what’s down there for you?

Cobb turns to her. Eames, Saito and Fischer arrive, SKIING
down from the hill above. Cobb pulls Eames out of Fischer’s
earshot.

COBB
You’re the dreamer. I need you to
draw the security away from the
complex.
113.

EAMES
Then who guides Fischer in? You?

COBB
If I know the route... we could be
compromised.

Eames looks as Cobb, uneasy. Ariadne comes over.

ARIADNE
I designed the place.

COBB
No. You’re with me.

SAITO (O.S.)
I could do it.

They turn to Saito. Saito shrugs at Eames. Eames smiles.

COBB
Eames, brief Saito on the route
into the complex. What we’re
looking for is going to be in the
most heavily fortified section.
That north tower.

Cobb moves to Fischer. Saito COUGHS. SPITS. Eames sees BLOOD
on the snow. Looks at Saito.

COBB
Mr. Fischer, you’re going in with
Mr. Saito.

FISCHER
You’re not coming in?

COBB
You have to do this on your own.
You have to get in there, break
into your godfather’s mind and find
out the truth about your father.

Cobb taps Fischer’s radio mike.

COBB
Keep this live at all times. I’ll
be listening in, covering you.
(holds up the sniper
rifle)
The windows on the upper floors are
big enough that I can cover you
from that south tower.
114.

Cobb slips into his skis, shoulders his rifle.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

Arthur checks the mechanism. He hears LOW BOOMS like thunder.
He checks his watch- THE SECOND HAND CRAWLS FORWARDS. With a
last look at the sleepers, he heads out into the corridor...

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

A GUNSHOT slams into the van as Yusuf DRIVES- he glances back
to see a MOTORCYCLE pulling up behind him, the REAR PASSENGER
FIRING A SHOTGUN- the bike pulls alongside Yusuf’s window as
the passenger RELOADS- Yusuf YANKS the wheel TOWARDS the
bike, bringing the shotgun barrel into the cab so he can GRAB
it, spin the wheel back- PULLING the passenger from the back
of the bike... Yusuf turns a corner, heading into a disused
MARKET-

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur walks towards the elevator. It OPENS- a SECURITY MAN
emerges, heading right for him. Arthur takes a TURN, speeding
up. The BOOMS are louder, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAY

The bike crosses behind the van, catching up again as the
driver pulls a handgun and starts BLASTING. Up ahead, an
S.U.V. sits in a side road, lining up to head off the van-
the SECURITY MAN driving the S.U.V. guns it, as the bike
creeps up on the other side of the van- Yusuf HITS THE
BRAKES, forcing the bike out into the path of the S.U.V.,
tossing the rider like a rag doll-

Heading out of the market, the van races onto a FREEWAY ON
RAMP, approaching the BRIDGE. An S.U.V. SMASHES into the
van’s side, FORCING it up against a CRASH BARRIER... the van
starts to SLOWLY TILT OVER THE BARRIER as the S.U.V. PUSHES-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

As Arthur hurries down the corridor, the corridor starts to
TILT, and Arthur is forced to run UP ONTO THE WALL- he rounds
a corner- STRAIGHT INTO another Security Man- Arthur HEAD
BUTTS him and they STRUGGLE- as they struggle, the corridor
SPINS around, THROWING THEM UP ONTO THE WALLS, THE CEILING-
as wall becomes floor they DROP through a door into-
115.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The fight continues all over the spinning room- and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY OFF RAMP NEAR BRIDGE - DAY

SLEEPING ARTHUR BOUNCES around as the van TILTS, SCRAPING
along the barrier- the van CLEARS THE END OF THE BARRIER AND
ROLLS DOWN THE EMBANKMENT, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Arthur and the Security Man DROP to the floor, Arthur on top.
Arthur gets up- heads to the stairwell.

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY STREETS NEAR BRIDGE - DAY

The van SETTLES with a thump. Yusuf BREATHES hard. Then
SMILES as he realizes he is in one piece. A RINGING BELL up
ahead makes him look up to the bridge, where the barriers are
starting to come down. Yusuf checks his watch-

YUSUF
Bugger.

Yusuf hits the gas, heading for the bridge. An S.U.V. lines
up behind him, trying to catch up before the van crosses the
barrier onto the bridge-

The van JUST MAKES IT- the S.U.V. behind RIPS its read axle
off, SCRAPING to a halt on the rising section. The Security
Man inside starts FIRING on the van...

INT. HOTEL STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Arthur RACES down the steps- OPENS the door to the fourth
floor- spots SECURITY MEN outside room 491.

ARTHUR
Hey!

They TURN- he DARTS back into the stairwell- RACES down the
stairs- the Security Men follow- they start SHOOTING, and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Eames SKIS down within sight of the hospital complex. He
reaches into his pack and lets off a FLARE.
116.

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Security Men on the ramparts spot the flare and send PATROLS
out on skis and SNOWMOBILES to investigate.

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames watches them close in, then launches himself down the
mountain, STREAKING across the icy slope, and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RISING BRIDGE - DAY

Yusuf PULLS FORWARD, looking over his shoulder to line up a
BACKWARDS RUN at the edge. He DUCKS as vicious FIRE from the
S.U.V. HAMMERS the vehicle. He looks at his watch. The SECOND
HAND TICKING SLOWLY...

YUSUF
Sod it. I hope your ready.

He grabs an MP3 player and reaches into the back to place
HEADPHONES on sleeping Arthur’s head. As he does so, he
notices Saito’s bandage BLEEDING THROUGH. Yusuf hits PLAY-
Edith Piaf’s “Non, je ne regrette rien” starts up and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL STAIRWELL - NIGHT

Arthur STOPS, hearing something- MASSIVE LOW-END MUSICAL
TONES- he looks up PANICKED-

ARTHUR
No, Yusuf. Too soon!

SHOTS slam into the stairs around him and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Cobb and Ariadne make their way down towards the complex.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Are you hearing that?

Cobb listens. The wind sounds unusually LOW.

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is hidden at the base of some trees, whispering as a
patrol passes beneath his position.
117.

EAMES
I noticed it twenty minutes ago-at
first I thought it was just wind...

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb is listening intently. The “wind” changes pitch.

COBB
No, it’s music. Dammit.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
What do we do?

COBB
We move fast. Saito, did you copy?

EXT. MOUNTAINS, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer CLIMB down a CLIFF FACE above the complex-

SAITO
We’re going as fast as we can.

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks at Cobb, concerned.

ARIADNE
How long do we have?

COBB
Yusuf’s about ten seconds from the
jump, which gives Arthur about
three minutes, which gives us about-

ARIADNE
Sixty minutes.

COBB
The route you gave them, can they
do it in under an hour?

ARIADNE
I don’t think so. They’ve still got
to climb down to the middle
terrace.

COBB
They need a new route-a direct
route.

ARIADNE
The building’s designed as a
labyrinth.
118.

COBB
There must be access routes that
cut through the maze.
(into radio)
Eames?
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Cobb and Ariadne stand on a snowy cliff, strategizing their mission to infiltrate a fortified medical facility and help Fischer confront his father's legacy. Tension mounts as they discuss the risks, particularly for Cobb, who is haunted by his past. Eames is tasked with drawing security away while Saito supports Fischer. Meanwhile, Arthur and Yusuf face a high-speed chase in a separate, intense situation. The scene is marked by urgency and foreboding as they prepare to execute their plan, with the stark snowy landscape emphasizing the isolation and danger ahead.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Intriguing concept of dream manipulation
  • Complex character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more emotionally resonant
  • Character development could be further explored

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, suspenseful, and crucial to the plot, with high stakes and a sense of urgency driving the action forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams within dreams, navigating a complex dream world, and extracting information from a target's subconscious is innovative and engaging.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate, with multiple layers of deception, action, and suspense unfolding as the team navigates the dream world to achieve their goal.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the snowy mountain setting, the white snowsuits, and the high-tech weapons, adding a fresh twist to the familiar action genre. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are driven by their motivations and relationships, adding depth to the scene, but there is room for further development and exploration of their dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Some characters show growth and development, particularly in confronting their past traumas and making difficult decisions, but there is room for further exploration of their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Cobb's internal goal is to ensure the success of the mission and confront his own guilt and fears related to his past actions. He wants to help Fischer find the truth about his father while also dealing with his own inner demons.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to guide Fischer into the complex and ensure the success of the mission without compromising their safety. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating a dangerous environment and completing a high-stakes mission.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with the team facing physical danger, emotional turmoil, and moral dilemmas as they navigate the dream world and confront their inner demons.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing multiple challenges and obstacles that threaten the success of their mission. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the team facing physical danger, emotional turmoil, and the risk of losing themselves in the dream world if they fail to achieve their mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward significantly, revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting the stage for the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the evolving challenges they face. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs about sacrifice, trust, and the greater good. Cobb's decision to stay behind and cover Fischer while risking his own safety challenges the values of self-preservation and loyalty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of tension, urgency, and emotional depth as the characters confront their pasts and face the challenges ahead.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is functional, conveying necessary information and driving the plot forward, but could benefit from more depth and emotional resonance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, high stakes, and fast-paced dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the suspenseful atmosphere of the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, with quick cuts between different locations and characters. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and excitement, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and formatting contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from being more deliberate and clear, allowing the reader to better follow the narrative flow.
  • The introduction of new characters and settings within this scene can be confusing, as there is little context provided for their roles or significance in the story.
  • The dialogue sometimes feels stilted and unnatural, which can make it difficult for the reader to connect with the characters and fully understand their motivations and emotions.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some sections feeling rushed while others drag on, which can make it challenging for the reader to maintain engagement with the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider using more deliberate scene transitions to help the reader better follow the narrative flow and understand the relationships between different locations and characters.
  • Provide more context for new characters and settings to help the reader understand their roles and significance in the story, allowing for a more immersive reading experience.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it feel more natural and engaging, which will help the reader connect with the characters and better understand their emotions and motivations.
  • Review the pacing of the scene, ensuring that the timing of each event and interaction is carefully considered to maintain the reader's engagement and interest throughout.



Scene 33 -  Avalanche Escape
EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames cannot answer- he SLALOMS through the forest, Sub-
security in hot pursuit, bullets smashing into the trunks...

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb turns to Ariadne.

COBB
Did Eames add any features?

ARIADNE
Yes.

COBB
What did he add?

Ariadne looks at Cobb.

ARIADNE
I shouldn’t tell you. If Mal-

COBB
There’s no time-what did he add?

ARIADNE
Utility closets, trap doors...

COBB
What about service features? Did he
add any large pipes or-

ARIADNE
Ducts. He added an air duct system-
it doesn’t follow the maze. They
can use it to go straight from the
outer walls to the upper tower.

COBB
Explain it to them.

ARIADNE
(into radio)
Saito?

EXT. CLIFF FACE BEHIND COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito is using a hammer to tap in a belay.
119.

SAITO
Go ahead.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RAISED BRIDGE - DAY

Yusuf looks at the Security Man in the S.U.V., gives him the
finger and hits the GAS- RACING BACKWARDS at the barrier...
and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL STAIRWAY - NIGHT

Arthur RUNS UP the stairs, gun in hand- rounds a corner and-
IMPOSSIBLY- arrives behind the Security Man, who looks at
him, CONFUSED, then looks down to realize he is now at the
edge of a dangerous drop- Arthur shrugs.

ARTHUR
Paradox.

Arthur PUSHES him over the edge- he falls- Arthur races up to
the fourth floor- throws open the door- and we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN ON RAINY RAISED BRIDGE - DAY

In SLOW MOTION- the van SMASHES THROUGH THE CONCRETE BARRIER-
and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur is SPRINTING down the corridor when a TREMENDOUS CRASH
sends him FLYING into the air- and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

A MASSIVE RUMBLE prompts Cobb to look across the valley-

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames shoots out of the trees, then FALLS to the snow as he
sees a great CRACKING up ahead- the SLOPE IS FALLING AWAY IN
AN AVALANCHE-
120.

EXT. CLIFF FACE BEHIND COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito hears the RUMBLE above them. He looks down, Fischer is
below, near the bottom of the sheer face-

SAITO
Look out!

Saito CUTS the rope- they FALL- HIT the icy face and SLIDE
down the slope, clearing the path of the avalanche- and we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense and urgent scene set in a snowy forest, Eames flees from security forces while Cobb and Ariadne discuss crucial features of their dream architecture. Saito prepares for a descent, and Arthur cleverly confronts a security man, eliminating him in a dramatic fashion. The situation escalates as Eames triggers an avalanche, but Saito and Fischer narrowly escape its path, highlighting the urgency and danger of their mission.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High-stakes drama
  • Character development under pressure
Weaknesses
  • Limited character interaction
  • Some dialogue may be overshadowed by action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, action, and suspense. The avalanche adds a dramatic element that raises the stakes for the characters, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of navigating through a complex dream world with added features like trap doors and air duct systems is innovative and adds depth to the scene. The use of the avalanche as a climactic event enhances the concept of high-stakes and danger.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene as the characters face a life-threatening situation and must strategize to survive. The introduction of new elements like the avalanche and the characters' quick thinking propel the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its use of unique obstacles and creative solutions to challenges. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the tension of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters demonstrate quick thinking, resourcefulness, and determination in the face of danger. Their actions and decisions reveal more about their personalities and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes in their approach to the situation, showing growth, adaptability, and resilience in the face of adversity. The challenges they face test their limits and push them to evolve.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to successfully navigate the maze and outsmart their pursuers. This reflects their need for control and their fear of failure.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to reach the upper tower by utilizing the added features in the maze. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multifaceted, with the characters facing physical danger from the avalanche, as well as internal conflicts related to trust, decision-making, and survival. The high stakes drive the conflict to a peak.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with multiple obstacles and challenges that the characters must overcome, adding to the suspense and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the characters' lives on the line as they navigate a treacherous mountain landscape and face imminent danger from the avalanche. The outcome of their actions could have significant consequences for the mission and their survival.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward at a rapid pace, introducing new obstacles, revelations, and developments that set the stage for the next phase of the characters' mission. The action and suspense keep the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected obstacles and twists that the characters face, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's desire for control and the chaotic, unpredictable nature of the environment they are in. This challenges their beliefs about planning and strategy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience as they witness the characters in peril and making life-or-death decisions. The tension and danger create a sense of urgency and empathy for the characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is focused on conveying urgent information and coordinating actions in a high-pressure situation. While not overly complex, the dialogue effectively drives the plot forward and reveals character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and suspenseful moments that keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with a rhythm that builds tension and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a high-stakes action sequence, with clear transitions between different locations and events.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from more context to help the reader follow the narrative. Consider providing more explicit connections between scenes.
  • The dialogue in the snowy mountain scene is functional but lacks depth. Adding more emotional nuance to the characters' conversations could make the scene more engaging.
  • The pacing of the scene is quite fast, which might make it difficult for the reader to fully grasp the situation and the characters' motivations. Slowing down the pacing slightly could help.
Suggestions
  • Add more context to scene transitions, such as using fades or dissolves, or explicitly mentioning the transition in the dialogue or scene description.
  • Deepen the dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne in the snowy mountain scene to create a stronger emotional connection with the reader. Explore their thoughts and feelings about the mission and their past.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene by adding more descriptive details about the environment, the characters' actions, and their emotions. This will help the reader better understand the situation and become more invested in the story.



Scene 34 -  Race Against Time
INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van emerges from the concrete
balustrade and starts FALLING- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur is still FLYING through the corridor, NOT LANDING-
GRAVITY HAS DISAPPEARED... he scrambles for a handhold,
GRABBING a sconce- and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - DAY

Cobb watches the avalanche cloud slide past the complex.

ARIADNE
What was that?

COBB
The kick.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Did we miss it?
COBB
Yeah, we missed it.

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is lying on the snow.

EAMES
What the hell do we do now?

COBB (OVER RADIO)
Finish the job before the next
kick.
121.

EAMES
What next kick?

EXT. SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks at Ariadne as he talks into the radio.

COBB
When the van hits the water. I
figure Arthur’s got a couple
minutes and we’ve got about twenty.

Cobb and Ariadne MOVE towards the base of the complex.

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer RUN around the base of the building. They
find a large EXHAUST PORT. Lay a charge on the GRILL. They
blow the charge. Climb into the open vent.

INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van seems SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR
TEN STORIES ABOVE THE RIVER... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

In ZERO GRAVITY, Arthur pulls himself to the door of 491,
opens it. He looks at the charges planted on the ceiling.

ARTHUR
How the hell do I drop you?

He PULLS the charges from the ceiling. Hurrying. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito and Fischer hurry through the duct system. Saito is
falling behind, coughing up blood.

EXT. UPPER TERRACE, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb GRABS a Security Guard from behind, strangling him
unconscious. He beckons to Ariadne, covering her as she runs
towards him. They enter the base of the south tower.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

A guard is manning the tower. Cobb and Ariadne enter- Cobb
SHOOTS the guard and moves to the window.
122.

ARIADNE
(she points)
That’s the antechamber outside the
strongroom.

Cobb looks at the large windows of the antechamber.

COBB
What about the strongroom? Doesn’t
it have any windows?

ARIADNE
Wouldn’t be very strong if it did.
(off look)
Look, if you wanted to design it
yourself-

COBB
It’s fine. Better hope that we like
what Fischer finds in there.

Cobb sets up his sniper rifle. Through the scope he can see
three guards on the balcony outside the chamber. Three more
inside. Cobb casually picks them off with his rifle. Ariadne
watches through binoculars, appalled.

ARIADNE
These projections, they’re part of
his subconscious?

COBB
Yeah.

ARIADNE
Are you destroying those parts of
his mind?

COBB
No, of course not. They’re just
projections.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
Cobb? Something’s wrong?
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense and urgent scene, the characters navigate various perilous situations as they execute their mission. Arthur struggles with explosives in a zero-gravity hotel corridor, while Cobb leads the team through a snowy mountain complex, coordinating with Ariadne and Eames to fend off security threats. Saito and Fischer work together in a duct system, facing physical challenges. As Cobb sets up a sniper rifle to eliminate guards, Ariadne raises ethical concerns about their actions affecting Fischer's subconscious. The scene culminates in heightened suspense as Eames senses something is amiss.
Strengths
  • High tension
  • Complex plot
  • Engaging action sequences
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Lack of standout dialogue
  • Some scenes may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with dream world mechanics

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, action, and high stakes. It keeps the audience on the edge of their seats with its fast-paced narrative and complex dream world dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering multiple dream levels to extract information from Fischer's subconscious is innovative and well-executed. The use of dream architecture, kicks, and subconscious projections adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate and well-developed, with multiple layers of conflict and suspense driving the action forward. The team's mission to uncover the truth about Fischer's father keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as dream-sharing technology, zero gravity, and complex heist dynamics, creating a unique and engaging narrative. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the plot forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are driven by their motivations and personal stakes in the mission, adding depth to their actions and decisions. Cobb's determination, Ariadne's curiosity, and Fischer's internal struggle create compelling dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Cobb experiences growth as he confronts his past and makes difficult decisions to protect Fischer. Fischer undergoes a transformation as he faces the truth about his father and his own motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to successfully complete the mission and navigate the dream world to achieve their objectives. This reflects their desire for redemption and closure.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to extract information from the target's subconscious mind before the next kick occurs. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the team facing physical dangers, time constraints, and internal struggles. The tension between completing the mission and facing personal demons adds layers of complexity to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that test the characters' abilities and decisions. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the team navigates a dangerous dream world, faces physical threats, and confronts their inner demons. The outcome of the mission could have far-reaching consequences for all involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by advancing the team's mission, revealing key information about Fischer's father, and setting up the final confrontation. It builds tension and anticipation for the resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists, sudden obstacles, and shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome of the mission.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of invading someone's subconscious mind and manipulating their thoughts. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the morality of their actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of urgency, determination, and emotional depth as the characters confront their fears and push forward in the face of danger. Cobb's internal struggle and Fischer's emotional journey add emotional weight to the narrative.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is functional, serving to move the plot forward and convey necessary information. While it lacks standout lines, it effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, fast-paced action, and intricate plot developments. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the suspenseful atmosphere.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action sequences, dialogue exchanges, and suspenseful moments. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre. The use of visual cues and descriptive language enhances the reader's understanding of the action.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a non-linear structure that adds to the suspense and complexity of the narrative. The transitions between different locations are seamless and enhance the pacing of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some sections feeling rushed while others are drawn out, which might confuse the reader.
  • The characters' emotional states and motivations are not always clear, making it difficult for the reader to fully engage with the story.
  • The dialogue in some parts of the scene is expository and could be more natural and engaging for the characters.
  • The setting and visual elements are not always described in detail, making it challenging for the reader to fully immerse themselves in the world.
Suggestions
  • Consider using more gradual transitions between scenes to maintain a consistent narrative flow.
  • Ensure that the pacing is consistent throughout the scene, allowing the reader to fully absorb the events and emotions.
  • Develop the characters' emotional states and motivations more clearly, giving the reader a stronger connection to the story and its characters.
  • Improve the dialogue by making it more natural and engaging, allowing the characters to interact more realistically with one another.
  • Describe the setting and visual elements in greater detail, enabling the reader to better visualize and immerse themselves in the world you have created.



Scene 35 -  Confronting the Past
EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames is watching the patrols HEAD BACK towards the complex.

EAMES
They’re heading your way. Like they
know something.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb hears this. Concerned.
123.

COBB
Buy us some time.

EAMES (OVER RADIO)
On my way.

EXT. FOREST, SNOW-COVERED MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

Eames TAKES OFF towards the base of the complex. And we=

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

Arthur FLOATS into the room. The SLEEPERS are floating,
loosely connected by their tubes. Arthur looks at them, MIND
RACING. He PULLS Cobb towards Eames, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - DAY

Saito and Fischer approach the grate covering the exit to the
anteroom. Saito SLUMPS to the floor of the duct, pulls out
his radio. Fischer looks at him- he is PALE, SHIVERING.
Fischer takes the radio, WHISPERS into it.

FISCHER
(into radio)
We’re here. Are we clear to
proceed?

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEC - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SCANS the anteroom through the scope-it looks clear.

COBB
You’re clear, but hurry-there’s an
army headed your way...

Ariadne watches the patrols approaching the complex...

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

The SQUELCH from the radio is too loud- Fischer GRABS it and
turns the volume to zero as he starts to remove the grate...

EXT. BASE OF THE HOPISTAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Eames is setting MINES along the LOWEST WALL of the
structure. He moves carefully-there is a SHEER DROP below the
wall...
124.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SPOTS something through his scope. Something above the
main windows, glimpsed through the side of the skylight.

COBB
Shit. There’s someone else in
there.

Cobb prepares to fire. Ariadne GRABS the radio-

ARIADNE
Fischer, stop! It’s a trap!-

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Fischer does not see the flashing light on his radio as he
carefully lifts the grate. He motions for Saito to stay...

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb TENSES to fire.

COBB
Come on... a little lower... a
little-

COBB FREEZES- IT IS MAL IN HIS SIGHTS. Ariadne puts up her
binoculars. Spots Mal. Fischer is climbing out of the vent...

ARIADNE
Cobb, that’s not really her-

Cobb turns to her-

COBB
How can you know that?

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Fischer moves into the antechamber, cautious-

FISCHER
I’m in.

Fischer turns up the volume-

ARIADNE (OVER RADIO)
Fischer, look out!-

Mal DROPS gracefully to the floor behind him-

MAL
Hello.
125.

INT. TOP ROOM, SOUTH TOWER, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Cobb looks at Ariadne-

ARIADNE
Cobb, she’s just a projection.
Fischer... he’s real.

Cobb thinks. Nods, TURNS back to the scope- too late- MAL
SHOOTS FISCHER- Cobb reflexively pulls the trigger- Mal GOES
DOWN- Cobb steps back from the scope, STUNNED.

ARIADNE
Eames? Get to the anteroom now!

They run for the door.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense scene set in a snow-covered forest and a hospital complex, Eames sets mines to protect the team while Cobb and Ariadne monitor the situation. As Fischer and Saito navigate the duct system, Cobb is confronted by a projection of his deceased wife, Mal, leading to a critical moment where she shoots Fischer. Despite Ariadne's warnings, Cobb hesitates, resulting in a chaotic escalation as they scramble to address the imminent threat.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion with multiple locations and characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense, suspenseful, and emotionally impactful, with high stakes and significant character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering dreams and manipulating subconscious projections is executed effectively, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging and moves the story forward, introducing new challenges and conflicts for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as dream-sharing technology and challenges the characters face within different levels of reality. The dialogue and actions feel authentic and contribute to the tension of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with clear motivations and emotional arcs that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience significant changes in their beliefs and actions, particularly Cobb and Fischer.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect his team and navigate the dangerous situation they are in. This reflects his deeper need for control and security.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to outmaneuver the approaching patrols and successfully complete their mission. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with multiple layers of tension and danger present throughout the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult challenges and uncertain outcomes.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and moral dilemmas that will shape the outcome of their mission.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new obstacles and revelations that impact the characters' journey.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between reality and perception evident in the scene. The protagonist must distinguish between what is real and what is a projection, challenging his beliefs and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes fear, shock, and determination in the characters and the audience, creating a strong emotional connection.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is tense and impactful, revealing character dynamics and advancing the plot effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and character dynamics.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and characters.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from more clear delineations between the different locations and actions. Consider using scene headings or more descriptive transitions to help the reader follow the action.
  • The dialogue in this scene is sparse and could be used more effectively to convey the characters' emotions and thoughts. Consider adding or modifying dialogue to provide more insight into the characters' motivations and reactions.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, with some actions and reactions happening too quickly while others are drawn out. Ensure that the pacing supports the tension and urgency of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding scene headings to clarify the location and time of each segment in the scene. This will help the reader better follow the action and maintain a clear understanding of the narrative's progression.
  • Enrich the dialogue to provide more context and emotional depth. For example, have the characters express their concerns, share their thoughts, or provide additional information to create a more engaging and immersive experience for the reader.
  • Review the pacing of the scene and adjust as necessary to ensure a consistent level of tension and urgency. This may involve adding or removing actions, expanding on certain moments, or reordering events to optimize the overall flow of the scene.



Scene 36 -  Descent into the Dream Layers
INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito STARTS as he hears the shot. He starts edging forwards,
clutching his belly. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM 528 - NIGHT

The sleepers are floating in a rough stack, top-and-tailed.
Arthur pulls the bedding from the bed and uses the sheet to
bind the sleepers together. And we-

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. VAN - DAY

In EXTREME SLOW MOTION, the van CREEPS DOWNWARDS, still high
above the river... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Arthur PUSHES the floating stack of sleepers to the elevator.
He hits the button- the doors open- he pushes them in- GRABS
the charges- climbs through the hatch in the ceiling and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - DAY

Eames steps over Saito, who looks up at him with DYING eyes-

INT. ANTECHAMBER, HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

Eames jumps out of the vent to find Cobb and Ariadne standing
over the bodies of Fischer and Mal.
126.

EAMES
What happened?

ARIADNE
Mal killed Fischer-

COBB
I wouldn’t shoot her.

Eames grabs a defibrillator from the wall and pulls Fischer’s
jacket open-

COBB
It won’t do any good-

Eames SHOCKS Fischer’s chest...

COBB
Even if you could revive his body,
his mind’s trapped down there. It’s
over.

Eames listens for a pulse. Looks up at Cobb.

EAMES
So that it, then? We failed.

COBB
I’m sorry.

EAMES
It’s you who doesn’t get back to
your family.

Eames looks down at Fischer. Then over to the double doors.

EAMES
I wanted to know what was going to
happen in there. I think we had
this one.

ARIADNE
There’s still a way: We follow
Fischer down-

They look at her.

EAMES
We’re almost out of time-

ARIADNE
Down there they’ll be enough time.
We’ll find him-soon as you hear
Arthur’s music start, you use the
defibrillator to revive him-we give
him his own early kick from below.
(MORE)
127.
ARIADNE (CONT'D)
Get him in there-
(points to doors)
Then, as the music ends you blow
the hospital and we all ride the
kick back up through the layers.

Eames looks at her, then to Cobb.

EAMES
Okay, Saito can hold them off while
I plant the rest of the charges.

COBB
Saito’s not going to last, Eames.

ARIADNE
We have to try!

EAMES
Go for it, but I’m taking the kick
whether you’re back or not...

Eames pulls the mechanism from his pack. Offers it to
Ariadne. Cobb watches. Silent. Ariadne pulls out the tubes-

ARIADNE
Can I trust you to do what’s
needed? Mal’s down there-

COBB
And I can find her. She’ll have
Fischer.

ARIADNE
How do you know?

COBB
She wants me to come after him. She
wants me back down there with her.

Cobb rolls up his sleeve. Ariadne rolls up her own sleeve.
Eames NODS. Cobb and Ariadne lie down. Eames hits the button-
WATER. BUBBLES. DROWNING. And we are-
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense hospital setting, Saito lies injured while Arthur focuses on binding sleepers. Eames attempts to revive the unconscious Fischer with a defibrillator but realizes their failure. Cobb expresses concern over their dire situation, while Ariadne proposes a risky plan to follow Fischer into the dream layers to save him. As they prepare for the plunge into the water, the urgency of their mission intensifies, highlighting the stakes and emotional weight of their predicament.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Emotional depth
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Complex dream layer concept may be confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the plot, with high stakes and significant character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of entering multiple dream layers to extract information and confront subconscious projections is innovative and central to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot is gripping, with a race against time, a crucial decision to be made, and a major turning point in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as dream-sharing technology, complex moral dilemmas, and intricate heist-like elements. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward in unexpected ways.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with conflicting motivations and emotional depth driving their actions.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes, particularly Cobb, who confronts his past and makes a pivotal decision.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile with his guilt over Mal's death and his desire to return to his family. This reflects his deeper needs for closure and redemption.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully complete the inception mission by following Fischer down into the dream layers and planting charges to create a kick that will bring them back to reality.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense, with internal and external struggles driving the characters' actions and decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external obstacles that challenge their beliefs, values, and goals. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense of the scene.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high, with the fate of key characters and the success of the mission hanging in the balance.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward, setting up the climax and resolving key conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting goals, unexpected plot twists, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs about redemption, sacrifice, and the nature of reality. Cobb's guilt over Mal's death and his desire to return to his family clash with Eames' determination to complete the mission at all costs.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, with themes of loss, redemption, and sacrifice resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is tense and impactful, revealing character dynamics and driving the plot forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional depth, and fast-paced action. The characters' conflicts and motivations keep the audience invested in the outcome of the mission.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension, building suspense, and balancing action with character development. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with concise action lines, clear dialogue formatting, and effective use of scene headings.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations, well-paced action sequences, and a focus on character development.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother cuts, allowing for a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • The emotional impact of Mal's appearance and her actions against Fischer could be more impactful with additional context or build-up.
  • The urgency of the situation might be more palpable with clearer time constraints and higher stakes, making the characters' actions more consequential.
  • The dialogue could be tightened to reduce exposition and increase the focus on character interactions and plot progression.
  • The setting descriptions could be more immersive, providing a better sense of space and location for the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a few lines of dialogue or action to heighten the tension and emphasize the danger of Mal's presence.
  • Make the time constraints clearer, either through dialogue or visual cues, to create a stronger sense of urgency.
  • Tighten the dialogue by removing unnecessary explanations and focusing on character-driven conversations that reveal their motivations and emotions.
  • Enhance the setting descriptions by incorporating sensory details and specific spatial relationships between characters and their environment.



Scene 37 -  Echoes of the Past
EXT. COAST (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne lies in the SURF, STARING up at a CLOUDLESS SKY. A
tremendous BOOM prompts her to look around her- URBAN
BUILDINGS PILED right down to the water. The buildings are
DECAYING, falling into the ocean like a GLACIER calving. Cobb
WADES towards her through the shallow water. Ariadne looks up
at the crumbling city around them.

ARIADNE
This is your world?
128.

COBB
It was. And this is where she'll
be.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - DAY

Arthur floats on top of the elevator, planting small charges
on the EMERGENCY BRAKES and CABLE. He sets them, GRABS the
other explosives, then PUSHES AWAY, shooting up the shaft. As
he hits the DETONATOR, BLASTING the braking and safety
systems of the elevator, we move into SLOW MOTION, the
fireballs FLAMING OUT in graceful licks and we-

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames RACES around, full speed- getting the defibrillator
paddles- laying them by Fischer's body- he runs into the duct-
pulls Saito up to a seated position and hands him a handgun.

EAMES
Come on, Saito. I need you to cover
Fischer while I plant the charges.

Saito nods weakly, tries to hold the gun. Eames moves to the
window− pulls his machine gun off- checks its load. Ready. He
watches the security patrols climb up the outer walls...
Eames lays down a HAIL of covering fire- then heads outside-

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Eames races along the upper terrace dodging fire- BULLETS
SHATTER a window behind him and we move into SLOW MOTION, the
glass CASCADING GENTLY and we-

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COAST (LIMBO)- DAY

Cobb and Ariadne climb out of the waves, full speed. They
move into the shadow of the tall, crumbling buildings. The
streets are eerily DESERTED. As they move further in, the
buildings become NEWER, different. Ariadne marvels at the
extraordinary collection of buildings− every architectural
style imaginable in waves of FAILED UTOPIAS.

ARIADNE
You built all this?

COBB
We both did.
129.

ARIADNE
It's incredible.

COBB
We built for years. Then, when that
got stale, we started in on the
memories.

A child's SHOUT echoes through the deserted canyons,
prompting Cobb to look down a side street: a LITTLE BLONDE
BOY crouched, his back to us. A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL joins the
boy, and, as Cobb turns down the street, they run off.

Cobb and Ariadne emerge into a peculiar SQUARE lined with an
eclectic mix of buildings, from APARTMENT BLOCKS to HOUSES.

COBB
This is our neighborhood.

ARIADNE
(confused)
From what city?

COBB
No. Our neighborhood.
(pointing)
That was our first apartment...
then we moved to that building...
we got that small house when Mal
became pregnant.

ARIADNE
You reconstructed them all from
memory?

COBB
We had time.

Cobb pauses in front of a French country house. Staring.

ARIADNE
What's that?

COBB
The house Mal grew up in.

ARIADNE
Will she be in there?

COBB
No. Come on-

Cobb leads Ariadne to the entrance of a glass skyscraper.
130.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a surreal coastal limbo filled with decaying urban buildings, Ariadne and Cobb explore a world shaped by their memories, revealing significant locations from their past. Cobb shares personal stories about their life together, while Arthur and Eames engage in separate actions to support their mission. The scene captures a blend of nostalgia and melancholy as Cobb confronts his emotional struggles with memories of Mal, leading them towards a glass skyscraper for further exploration.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Thematic exploration
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Pacing could be improved in certain sections

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is rich in emotional depth, tension, and thematic exploration. It effectively sets up the stakes for the characters and provides a glimpse into their inner struggles.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Limbo as a decaying world where memories are reconstructed is intriguing and adds a layer of complexity to the narrative. The exploration of Cobb and Mal's past adds depth to the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the characters navigate through Limbo and confront their past. The tension builds as they face challenges and make decisions that will impact their future.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique concept of limbo as a dream world constructed from memories, exploring themes of reality, memory, and identity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Cobb and Ariadne, are well-developed and their emotions are palpable. The scene delves into their inner conflicts and past traumas, adding depth to their arcs.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, particularly Cobb, undergo significant emotional changes as they confront their past and make decisions that will impact their future. The scene sets up potential character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Ariadne's internal goal in this scene is to understand Cobb's past and the world they are in. She is seeking answers and trying to make sense of the situation, reflecting her curiosity and desire for knowledge.

External Goal: 7

Cobb's external goal is to guide Ariadne through the limbo world and show her important locations from his past. He is trying to protect her and keep her safe in this dangerous environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is both internal and external, as the characters confront their past traumas and face challenges in Limbo. The stakes are high, adding tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing physical dangers, emotional conflicts, and philosophical dilemmas. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the challenges ahead.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the consequences of their actions and must make difficult decisions to move forward. The risk of losing memories and being trapped in Limbo adds tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about the characters' past and setting up the next steps in their journey. It advances the plot and raises the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the surreal elements, unexpected character revelations, and shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and memory. Cobb and Ariadne discuss the construction of the world from memories, raising questions about the reliability of perception and the impact of past experiences on the present.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as the characters grapple with their past and the consequences of their actions. The nostalgia, hope, and melancholy emotions are palpable.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is reflective and emotional, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and struggles. It effectively conveys the themes of memory, loss, and redemption.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mysterious atmosphere, character interactions, and visual descriptions. The unfolding of the dream world and the characters' past experiences keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action sequences, introspective moments, and character interactions. The slow-motion transitions and visual effects enhance the dramatic tension and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling. The formatting helps to create a sense of immersion in the dream world.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, transitioning smoothly between different locations and character perspectives. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother, making it harder for the reader to follow the narrative flow. Consider using more gradual transitions or providing more context to help the reader understand the connection between scenes.
  • The dialogue in this scene is sparse and could benefit from more development to provide better insight into the characters' thoughts and emotions. Adding more dialogue can help create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slow, especially with the focus on the decaying urban landscape. While it's important to establish the setting, consider balancing the description with more action or character development to maintain the audience's interest.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more gradual scene transitions to help the reader follow the narrative flow more easily. This can be done by using fades, dissolves, or matching visual elements between scenes.
  • Add more dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne to provide a better understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and motivations. This will help create a stronger emotional connection with the audience and make the characters more relatable.
  • Introduce more action or character development in the scene to maintain the audience's interest. This could include having the characters interact with the decaying urban landscape, discuss their memories, or face challenges related to their mission.



Scene 38 -  Confronting Illusion
INT. SKYSCRAPER LOBBY (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb leads Ariadne across the gleaming lobby to the
elevators.

COBB
We both wanted a house, but we both
loved skyscrapers. In the real
world we had to choose. Not here.

INT. SKYSCRAPER ELEVATOR (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb pulls out his handgun, and a ziplock bag full of
bullets.

ARIADNE
How do we send Fischer back?

COBB
We need some kind of kick.

ARIADNE
What?

COBB
I'll improvise.

Cobb COCKS his weapon, and the ELEVATOR STOPS. The doors
open. Ariadne moves to exit, Cobb stops her.

COBB
There's something you have to
understand about me. About
inception. You see, an idea is like
a virus...

Cobb leads her out of the lift...

INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Ariadne step off the lift and into the incongruous
interior of a craftsman house. They cautiously move down the
corridor towards the back of the house...

COBB
Resilient...
(turns to Ariadne)
Highly contagious, and an idea can
grow. The smallest seed of an idea
can grow to define or destroy your
world...

Cobb is staring into the kitchen. Mal is sitting at the
table, back to them, staring out at the porch- the TOWERS of
Limbo stretching off behind it.
131.

MAL
The smallest idea, such as... "Your
world is not real."

Cobb hands Ariadne his gun and moves towards Mal.

MAL
A simple little thought that
changes everything...

Ariadne watches as Cobb sits down beside Mal. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - NIGHT

Arthur FLIES back down the shaft to the top of the elevator,
SQUEEZES past the car to the bottom and starts to set the
MAIN CHARGES ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE CAR, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Cobb touches Mal's arm- she TURNS, angry. It is only now that
we see that she holds a CARVING KNIFE. Mal looks at Ariadne.

MAL
So certain of your world. Of what's
real. Do you think he is-
(points at Cobb)
Or do you think he's as lost as I
was?

COBB
I know what's real.

MAL
What are the distinguishing
characteristics of a dream? Mutable
laws of physics? Tell that to the
quantum physicists. Reappearance of
the dead? What about heaven and
hell? Persecution of the dreamer,
the creator, the messiah? They
crucified Christ, didn't they?

COBB
I know what's real.

MAL
No creeping doubts? Not feeling
persecuted, Dom? Chased around the
globe by anonymous corporations and
police forces? The way the
projections persecute the dreamer?
132.

Mal puts her hand on his face. Pitying.

MAL
Admit it, Dom. You don't believe in
one reality anymore. So choose.
Choose your reality like I did.
Choose to be here. Choose me.

COBB
(rising anger)
I have chosen, Mal. Our children. I
have to get back to them. Because
you left them. You left us.

MAL
You're wrong, Dom. You're confused...
our children are here-

A child's SHOUT draws Cobb- James CROUCHES on the porch, back
to us. Philippa joins him, also turned away. Cobb watches,
moved. Mal leans in close.

MAL
(whispers)
And you'd like to see their faces
again, wouldn't you, Dom?

COBB
Our real children are waiting for
me up above.

And we-

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary In a surreal skyscraper lobby in Limbo, Cobb and Ariadne discuss the need for a 'kick' to send Fischer back. They move to a craftsman-style penthouse where Cobb confronts his deceased wife, Mal, who challenges his perception of reality and urges him to stay with her. As tensions rise, Cobb insists on returning to their children, rejecting Mal's attempts to convince him that their children are in Limbo. The scene captures the emotional conflict between guilt and the desire for reality, ending with Cobb's firm determination to return to his real children.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Philosophical dialogue
  • High tension and stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Complex concepts may be challenging for some viewers to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a mix of tension, emotion, and philosophical depth that keeps the audience captivated.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of inception and exploring the depths of dreams is executed effectively, with a focus on the consequences of manipulating reality and the complexities of the subconscious.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Cobb and Ariadne navigate through Limbo, facing challenges and revelations about their past. The tension builds as they confront Mal and make decisions that impact the outcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh ideas about the nature of reality and the power of inception, while also delving into complex emotional dynamics between the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and drives the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Cobb and Mal, are well-developed and their emotional conflicts drive the scene forward. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Cobb experiences a shift in his resolve and confronts his past with Mal, leading to a moment of clarity and decision-making. This change in perspective drives the narrative forward.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist, Cobb, is grappling with his guilt and desire to return to his real life and his children. His internal goal is to confront his past mistakes and find a way back to reality.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to find a way to send Fischer back to reality by creating a 'kick' in the dream.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb and Mal, as well as the internal conflicts faced by the characters, create a high level of tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and motivations driving the conflict between the characters and adding layers of complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Cobb and Ariadne navigate through Limbo, facing the consequences of their actions and the threat of losing themselves in the dream world.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Cobb's past, setting up the stakes for the final act, and deepening the emotional arcs of the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters, the blurred lines between reality and illusion, and the unexpected twists in the dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and the power of ideas. Mal challenges Cobb's beliefs about what is real and questions his grasp on reality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact is significant, as the scene delves into the complex relationships and inner struggles of the characters, evoking empathy and connection from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is thought-provoking and adds to the philosophical themes of reality and perception. The exchanges between Cobb and Mal are intense and emotional, revealing their inner turmoil.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, philosophical depth, and suspenseful pacing.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, emotional revelations, and action sequences that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of scene transitions and visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a non-linear structure that mirrors the dreamlike quality of the setting, effectively building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene in the penthouse with Cobb and Mal is overwritten and could benefit from more concise dialogue. The philosophical discussions about reality and dreams, while interesting, slow down the pacing of the scene and detract from the urgency of their mission.
  • The repetition of Cobb's statement 'I know what's real' becomes monotonous and could be replaced with more varied responses that convey his determination and conviction.
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother. The cuts to Arthur in the elevator shaft feel disconnected from the main narrative and could be integrated more seamlessly.
Suggestions
  • Consider condensing the philosophical discussions between Cobb and Mal, focusing on their emotional connection and the stakes of their situation. This will help maintain the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • Replace the repetitive 'I know what's real' statements with more diverse dialogue that highlights Cobb's determination and conviction. This will make the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.
  • Experiment with smoother scene transitions that maintain the flow of the narrative. Connect the cuts to Arthur in the elevator shaft more closely to the main narrative, perhaps by having him reflect on Cobb's situation or expressing concern about their mission.



Scene 39 -  Confronting Guilt in Limbo
INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur scrambles to arrange the sleepers on the floor of the
car- as his hand comes away from Saito, he sees BLOOD on it.
He looks at Saito's belly- the blood is coming through his
shirt. Arthur sticks headphones on sleeping Eames, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL FORTRESS - DAY

Eames throws a GRENADE, blowing up the security forces trying
to ascend the terraces. He DUCKS to the ground to avoid HEAVY
FIRE− starts unpacking the charges and setting them along the
base of the terraces-
133.

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito looks up as he hears a Security Guard climbing through
the duct... he raises his gun, TREMBLING with weakness...
And we-

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN, PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Mal laughs at Cobb.

MAL
(laughs)
Up above? Listen to yourself. You
judged me for believing the very
same thing.

Mal points at the children-

MAL
These are our children. Watch.
(turns to the kids)
Hey, James! Philippa?!

The children START TO TURN to us- BUT COBB CLOSES HIS EYES.

COBB
They're not real, Mal. Our real
children are waiting for us-

The children run off. Cobb opens his eyes.

MAL
You keep telling yourself that but
you don't believe it-

COBB
I know it-

MAL
And what if you're wrong? What if
I'm what's real?

Cobb is silent.

MAL
You keep telling yourself what you
know... but what do you believe?
What do you feel?

Cobb looks at Mal. Struggling.

COBB
Guilt. I feel guilt. And however
confused I might get.
(MORE)
134.
COBB (CONT'D)
However lost I might seem... it's
always there. Telling me something.
Reminding me of the truth.

MAL
What truth?

COBB
That you were wrong to doubt our
world. That the idea that drove you
to question your reality was a
lie...

MAL
How could you know it was a lie?

COBB
Because it was my lie.

MAL
(realizing)
Because you planted the idea in my
mind.

COBB
Because I performed inception on my
own wife, then reaped the bitter
rewards...

ARIADNE
Why?

COBB
We'd become lost in here. Living in
a world of infinite possibilities.
A world where we were gods. I
realized we needed to escape, but
she'd locked away her knowledge of
the unreality of this world...

INSERT CUT: Mal opens the doll's house. Takes the spinning
top, lies it down in the safe. LOCKS IT AWAY.

COBB
I couldn't make Mal understand that
we needed to break free. To die. So
I started to search our world...

Cobb turns to Mal, but keeps talking to Ariadne...

INSERT CUT: Cobb WANDERS the streets of Limbo...

COBB
Searching for the right place in
her mind...
135.

INSERT CUT: Cobb stops outside the VICTORIAN HOUSE, MAL'S
CHILDHOOD HOME, looking up at it. He heads inside...

COBB
And when I found that place, that
secret place where she had shut
away her knowledge years before, I
broke it open...

INSERT CUT: Cobb looks around Mal's childhood bedroom. Comes
to the doll's house...

COBB
I broke into the deepest recess of
her mind, to give her the simplest
little idea.

INSERT CUT: Cobb throws open the safe doors. Sitting on the
shelf of the safe is a spinning top. On its side.

COBB
A truth that she had once known,
but had chosen to forget...

INSERT CUT: Cobb picks up the totem. He SPINS it in the safe.
IT SPINS AND SPINS WITHOUT END. Cobb CLOSES THE DOOR of the
safe...

COBB
That her world was not real.

INSERT CUT: COBB AND MAL ARRIVE AT TRAIN TRACKS CUTTING
THROUGH WASTELAND.

COBB (V.O.)
That death was a necessary escape.

They lie on the tracks looking into each other's eyes. Mal is
crying. Cobb takes her hand, reassuring. He starts to speak-

COBB
You're waiting for a train. A train
that will take you far away. You
know where you hope this train will
take you, but you can't know for
sure. Yet it doesn't matter...

Mal looks at him across the railroad tracks. Replies-
MAL
Because you'll be together.

The train comes, OBLITERATING the lovers.

Back in the present- Cobb looks into Mal's eyes. She is
crying.
136.

COBB
I never thought that the idea I'd
planted would grow in her mind like
a cancer. That even after we woke...

INSERT CUT: Cobb looks around the HOTEL SUITE, confused. He
moves to the CURTAINS... Mal is on the ledge opposite.

COBB
You'd continue to believe that your
world was not real...

Crying, Mal nods-

MAL
That death was the only escape?

INSERT CUT: Mal PLUNGES to her death.

MAL
You killed me.

Cobb looks at Mal. Whispers-

COBB
I was trying to save you-I'm sorry.

Mal comes in close to Cobb. Looks him over.

MAL
You infected my mind. You betrayed
me. But you can make amends. You
can still keep your promise. We can
still be together... right here. In
our world. The world we built
together.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this tense scene, Arthur tends to the injured Saito in an elevator while Eames battles security forces in a hospital fortress. Simultaneously, Cobb grapples with his guilt in a surreal limbo kitchen, where he converses with Mal about reality and the consequences of his actions. Their discussion reveals Cobb's role in Mal's belief that their world is not real, leading to her tragic death. The emotional weight of the scene is underscored by Cobb's apology to Mal, who feels betrayed.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Revelation of key plot points
Weaknesses
  • Complexity of the dialogue may be challenging for some viewers to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally charged, with a deep exploration of Cobb's guilt and the consequences of his actions. The tension between Cobb and Mal adds layers to the narrative, making it a compelling and impactful moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of inception and its impact on Cobb and Mal's relationship is central to the scene. The idea of planting thoughts and the consequences of manipulating someone's mind are explored in depth.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as Cobb reveals the truth about his actions and the consequences they had on Mal. The scene sets up important emotional and narrative arcs for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its innovative approach to exploring the concept of dreams, reality, and guilt. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Cobb and Mal are deeply explored in this scene, revealing their complex relationship and the emotional turmoil they are both experiencing. Their dynamic drives the emotional core of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Cobb and Mal undergo significant emotional changes in this scene, as they confront the truth about their past and the consequences of their actions. Their relationship is deeply affected by the revelations.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his guilt and face the consequences of his actions, particularly in relation to his wife, Mal. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and reconciliation with his past.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges of the dream world and confront the philosophical conflict surrounding the nature of reality and dreams.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Cobb and Mal is palpable, as they confront the consequences of Cobb's actions and the impact it had on their relationship. The emotional conflict drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs, values, and relationships. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' motivations and the outcome of their decisions.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in this scene as Cobb and Mal confront the truth about their past and the consequences of their actions. The emotional weight of their confrontation adds to the intensity of the moment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important truths about Cobb and Mal's past, setting up key emotional and narrative arcs for the characters. It deepens the complexity of the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' motivations, the shifting dynamics of the dream world, and the moral ambiguity of their actions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will resolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle with the idea of reality and the consequences of manipulating dreams. It challenges his beliefs, values, and worldview, forcing him to confront the ethical implications of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene is highly emotionally impactful, delving into themes of guilt, regret, and the complexities of relationships. The confrontation between Cobb and Mal evokes strong emotions in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and emotionally charged, reflecting the inner turmoil of the characters. It reveals important truths and conflicts, driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, philosophical debates, and suspenseful action sequences. The audience is drawn into the characters' internal struggles and the high-stakes nature of the dream world.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted to build tension, suspense, and emotional resonance. The rhythm of the dialogue exchanges and action sequences enhances the scene's impact and effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the immersive quality of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different dream locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene is very dialogue-heavy, which can make it challenging to engage visually. Consider incorporating more action or visual elements to maintain viewer interest.
  • The pacing of the scene is slow, which might not be ideal for a climactic or action-oriented moment. You may want to increase the tension or urgency to keep the audience invested.
  • The scene contains a lot of exposition, particularly in Cobb's explanation of his actions in Limbo. While it's important to provide context, you can do so in a more concise and engaging manner.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more visual elements or action to balance the dialogue and maintain viewer engagement. For example, you could have Cobb and Mal interact physically or include more environmental storytelling.
  • Increase the pacing of the scene by shortening some of the dialogue exchanges or adding moments of tension or urgency. This will help keep the audience invested in the story.
  • Revise the exposition to make it more concise and engaging. Use visual storytelling or dialogue that serves multiple purposes to convey necessary information without interrupting the flow of the scene.



Scene 40 -  Confronting the Past
INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur hits "Play" on his music player- Edith Piaf starts to
ring out, Arthur checks his detonator and we-

CUT TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames races back in- in the relative quiet he notices MASSIVE
LOW-E MUSICAL TONES. He drops his gun and goes to Fischer's
side...
137.

INT. DUCT SYSTEM, HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

Saito musters all his remaining strength as the guard emerges-
Saito FIRES, dropping the guard, then COLLAPSES, the gun
clattering to the duct floor... Saito is dead.

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Eames powers up the defibrillator, puts the paddles on
Fischer's chest, then Pow!- he shocks him, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO)-DAY

LIGHTNING crackles across the sky- Ariadne sees it.

ARIADNE
We need Fischer.

MAL
You can't have him.

Cobb stares at Mal. Mesmerized.

COBB
If I stay, can she take him back?

ARIADNE
Cobb, what are you saying?

MAL
Fischer's on the porch.

ARIADNE
Cobb, you can't do this.

COBB
Go check he's alive, Ariadne.

Ariadne moves onto the porch, high above the metropolis, and
we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Arthur nods his head in time with the music, counting down,
holding the detonator. He starts bracing himself, and we-

CUT TO:
138.

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames recharges the defibrillator. SHOCKS Fischer again, and
we-

CUT TO:

EXT. PORCH, PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne looks up as a LARGE BOLT OF LIGHTNING RIPS across the
sky... she looks down to see Fischer, BOUND AND BLOODY, lying
below the rail.

ARIADNE
He's here. And it's time. But you
have to come with us.

Another massive lightning strike flickers across the sky-

ARIADNE
Cobb, I'm not going to let you lose
yourself in here! You have to get
back to your children!

COBB
Send Fischer, I have to stay-

ARIADNE
You can't stay here to be with her-

Cobb turns from Mal. Looks at Ariadne.

COBB
I'm not. Saito is dead by now. That
means he's here. I have to stay
here and find him.

Ariadne removes Fischer's gag- pulls him up, onto the rail.
Cobb looks back at Mal.

COBB
I can't stay here to be with her
because she's not real.

Mal looks at Cobb, furious.

MAL
Not real? I'm the only thing you do
believe in anymore. Here-doesn't
this feel real, Dom?

She STABS him in the chest- Cobb WHEEZES- GASPING, looking at
Mal-
139.

COBB
I wish you were. But I couldn't
make you real. I'm not capable of
imagining you in all your
complexity and... perfection. As
you really were. You're the best I
can do. And you're not real.

Mal pulls the knife and moves to STRIKE again-

ARIADNE
No!

A SHOT rings out, Mal GRABS her shoulder- Cobb turns to
Ariadne, who is pointing Cobb's gun.

COBB
What're you doing?

ARIADNE
Improvising.

She KICKS Fischer off the roof- AIMS again at Mal-

Fischer DROPS as the sky LIGHTS UP WITH ELECTRICITY- Fischer
SCREAMS, then GASPS, no longer falling, and we are-
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense limbo environment, Arthur prepares to detonate a device in an elevator while Eames desperately tries to revive the injured Fischer. Saito succumbs to his wounds, raising the stakes. Cobb faces his guilt manifested as Mal, who attacks him, while Ariadne fights to save Fischer and pull Cobb back to reality. The scene escalates as Ariadne kicks Fischer off a ledge to save him, but his fate hangs in the balance as chaos ensues, leaving Cobb's internal struggle unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
  • Revelatory dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
  • Some may find the surreal elements confusing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the story's resolution. It effectively combines tension, drama, and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of limbo as a subconscious realm where unresolved issues manifest is intriguing and well-executed. It adds depth to the characters and explores complex themes.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene, revealing crucial information about Cobb and Mal's past, their emotional struggles, and the resolution of Fischer's journey.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its exploration of complex themes, unpredictable plot twists, and nuanced character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Cobb and Mal, undergo significant development in this scene. Their motivations, conflicts, and emotional turmoil are vividly portrayed.

Character Changes: 9

Cobb undergoes a significant change in this scene, confronting his guilt, facing his past, and making a crucial decision. The resolution with Mal marks a turning point in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with his past and let go of his guilt and obsession with his deceased wife. This is reflected in his interactions with Mal and his decision to stay in limbo to find Saito.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to complete the mission of extracting Fischer from limbo and return to reality. This goal is challenged by Mal's interference and the unpredictable events unfolding in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Cobb, Mal, and Ariadne is intense and multi-layered, involving emotional, moral, and existential dilemmas. The stakes are high, leading to a dramatic confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external obstacles that challenge their beliefs, values, and goals. The audience is kept in suspense about the outcome of the conflicts, adding depth and complexity to the story.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters' lives, emotions, and beliefs on the line. The resolution of the conflict will have a profound impact on the outcome of the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving key conflicts, revealing important information, and setting the stage for the climax. It sets up the final act of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character choices, sudden plot developments, and moral dilemmas that challenge the audience's expectations. The outcome of the scene is uncertain, adding tension and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality, dreams, and the power of imagination. Cobb's struggle to differentiate between what is real and what is a construct of his mind is central to this conflict.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, including fear, guilt, desperation, and resolution. The characters' struggles and revelations resonate deeply with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the characters' inner struggles, conflicts, and revelations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and unpredictable twists. The characters' conflicting motivations and the fast-paced action keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and introspective moments that maintain tension and momentum. The rhythm of the scene enhances the emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue. The visual and auditory cues are effectively conveyed through the formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations, well-paced action sequences, and a balance of dialogue and description.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from more fluidity, allowing the reader to follow the narrative more smoothly.
  • The emotional stakes of the scene could be more effectively conveyed through stronger character interactions and reactions.
  • The dialogue, at times, feels stilted and on-the-nose, which can detract from the overall impact of the scene. Consider rephrasing or restructuring some lines for a more natural feel.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some moments dragging and others rushing by too quickly. Ensure that the pacing supports the narrative and emotional beats of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Smoother scene transitions can be achieved by using more gradual cuts or fades, allowing the reader to better follow the narrative flow.
  • Deepen the emotional stakes by adding more personal moments between characters, emphasizing their relationships and the consequences of their actions.
  • Improve the dialogue by using more natural language, avoiding exposition dumps, and allowing characters to express themselves in a more authentic way.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene supports the narrative and emotional beats, giving the reader time to absorb important moments and quickening the pace during action sequences.



Scene 41 -  Final Farewells
INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames pulls the defibrillator from Fischer's chest as he
COUGHS AWAKE.

EAMES
Get in there-quick!

Fischer looks up at the double doors. STAGGERS to his feet.
Fischer pushes open the doors to the STRONGROOM.

INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer walks into the silent white room. At one end of the
room is a bed. A figure lies in the bed. His FATHER.
Breathing with tremendous difficulty. Dying. And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Ariadne takes aim at Mal-

COBB
No!

Cobb holds Ariadne's gaze. She lowers the gun. And we-

CUT TO:
140.

Eames GRABS the detonator- then moves to the door of the
strongroom...

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR, HOTEL - NIGHT

Arthur HITS THE DETONATOR-

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - CONTINUOUS

The CHARGES on the bottom of the elevator EXPLODE, and we
move into EXTREME SLOW MOTION as the flames BALLOON-

CUT TO:

INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

A RUMBLE BUILDS as Fischer approaches the bed, overcome with
emotion. His Father sees him. Starts trying to speak. Fischer
leans in...

FATHER
(hoarse whisper)
I... was ... dis ... dis ...

FISCHER
I know, Dad. You were disappointed
that I couldn't be you.

The dying man SHAKES HIS HEAD with surprising energy.

FATHER
(whisper)
I was disappointed... that you
tried.

Fischer hears this. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - NIGHT

The elevator car is ROCKETED along its track by the explosion-

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Arthur is SMASHED against the floor of the car next to the
sleepers who SHUDDER with the force of ACCELERATION- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. ANTECHAMBER - DAY

Eames WATCHES Fischer-
141.

EAMES
(to himself) )
Come on, come on...

INT. STRONGROOM - DAY

The Father collapses back onto the pillow. Fischer starts to
weep. His Father reaches out a trembling hand but when
Fischer tries to hold IT, he SHAKES his son's hand away...

He is reaching for the SAFE next to his bed. His fingers
fumble at the keypad, he can't open it. His son pushes
5,2,8,4,9,1 into the keypad. Opens it. Inside the safe is the
WILL. And beside it is a HOMEMADE PINWHEEL, clearly made by a
child. By Fischer. He takes it out, MARVELING at it. He turns
to his father, but his father is dead.

Eames, watching from the door, HITS THE DETONATOR-

EXT. HOSPITAL COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS

A line of EXPLOSIONS RIPS ALONG THE LOWER WALL... the ENTIRE
BUILDING STARTS TO SLIDE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN-

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

A FIERCE WIND starts HOWLING through the house as the sky
outside DARKENS. Cobb shields Mal against the blast- looks up
at Ariadne, who HOLDS the railing, FIGHTING the wind-

COBB
That’s the kick-you have to go!

ARIADNE
You’re coming!

COBB
No, I’m not. I’m staying here to
find Saito.
(turns to Mal)
And to say goodbye.

Ariadne loosens her grip on the railing...

ARIADNE
Don’t lose yourself. Find Saito.
And bring him back.

COBB
I will.

Ariadne lets the wind pull her off the edge- FALLING- and we-

INT. ANTECHAMBER - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne DROPS as the FLOOR COLLAPSES- her eyes SNAP OPEN-
142.

EXT. PENTHOUSE (LIMBO) - DAY

Cobb holds Mal in his arms. The wind DIES...

MAL
We’d be together forever. You
promised me.

COBB
I know. But we can’t. And I’m
sorry.

MAL
You remember when you asked me to
marry you? You said you dreamt that
we’d grow old together.

COBB
And we did...

Mal looks at Cobb... thinking. Remembering.

INSERT CUT: TWO ELDERLY PEOPLE (MAL AND COBB) WALK THROUGH
LIMBO... ACROSS A WASTELAND... TWO ELDERLY HANDS CLUTCH EACH
OTHER AS THEY LIE DOWN ON THE RAILROAD TRACK...

COBB
I miss you more than I can bear...
but we had our time together. And
now I have to let go...

She nods, weakly. Cobb holds Mal as her eyes close...
DYING... and we-
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a poignant scene, Eames revives Fischer, who confronts his dying father in the strongroom, leading to an emotional exchange filled with regret and disappointment. As Fischer opens a safe containing a will and a childhood pinwheel, his father passes away. Meanwhile, chaos erupts as Eames detonates explosives for their escape. In a parallel moment, Cobb bids farewell to Mal in limbo, culminating in a bittersweet acceptance of loss.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Intense action sequences
  • Surreal setting
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the scene overly complex or emotionally heavy

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, combining emotional depth with thrilling action sequences and significant character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring dreams within dreams, facing inner demons, and dealing with complex relationships is executed brilliantly in this scene.

Plot: 9

The plot is engaging, with multiple storylines converging towards a climactic moment that reveals crucial information and drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unique blend of action, emotion, and philosophical introspection. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each facing their own internal conflicts and making impactful decisions that shape the outcome of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant changes in this scene, particularly Cobb, who confronts his past and makes a pivotal decision that leads to personal growth.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile with his dying father and come to terms with their complicated relationship. This reflects his deeper need for validation and acceptance from his father.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to retrieve the will from the safe next to his father's bed. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in fulfilling his father's last wishes.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internal and external, as the characters confront their fears, make difficult choices, and face physical danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his beliefs, values, and relationships, adding complexity and depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations, emotional turmoil, and the need to make critical choices that will impact their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving key conflicts, revealing important information, and setting the stage for the final act of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the character interactions and the outcome of the protagonist's actions, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle with his father's disappointment and his own sense of identity. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about success, failure, and familial expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, with themes of loss, love, and sacrifice resonating deeply through the characters' actions and dialogue.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is poignant and serves to deepen the emotional impact of the scene, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines intense action sequences with emotional character moments, keeping the audience invested in the protagonist's journey and the outcome of the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing intense action sequences with emotional character beats, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and character perspectives to build tension and emotional depth.


Critique
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The emotional impact of certain moments could be heightened with more detailed descriptions and character reactions.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, especially during the strongroom sequence. Slowing down the pacing might help emphasize the emotional weight of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive language to help readers visualize the scenes and connect with the characters' emotions.
  • Experiment with more gradual transitions between scenes to maintain continuity and improve the overall pacing.
  • Give more attention to character reactions, particularly during emotional moments, to create a stronger emotional connection with the reader.



Scene 42 -  Confronting Legacy and Reality
INT. STRONGROOM - CONTINUOUS

Fischer and his Father’s body DROP AWAY-

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Ariadne DROPS inside the ROCKETING ELEVATOR, and as it
SMASHES INTO THE TOP OF THE SHAFT Ariadne SMASHES into-

INT./EXT. VAN INTO RIVER - DAY

THE WATER, THE VAN CRUNCHING WITH THE IMPACT- WATER CRASHING
THROUGH THE BROKEN WINDOWS FLOODING THE INTERIOR...

Fischer’s EYES OPEN, PANICKING- he UNBUCKLES HIMSELF, pushes
out of the broken window- STOPS, goes back to UNBUCKLE
Browning and DRAG him out.
143.

EXT. RIVER - CONTINUOUS

Fischer breaks the surface with Browning, who COUGHS and
GASPS. He starts PULLING for the near bank, struggling
through the rain-impacted water-

INT. VAN, UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne, Arthur and Yusuf wait calmly underwater. They are
sharing TWO REGULATORS pulled from beneath the front seat.
Arthur turns to Saito. There is blood in the water around
Saito’s belly- his eyes are LIFELESS- Arthur feels for a
pulse... turns to Cobb, whose eyes are lifeless... Ariadne
GRABS Arthur’s elbow, pulling him away...

EXT. RIVERBANK - MOMENTS LATER

Fischer turns Browning/Eames over. They lie there, exhausted.

BROWNING
I'm sorry, Robert.

Fischer stares at the rain on the water.

FISCHER
The will means that Dad wanted me
to be my own man, not live for him.
(turns to Browning) )
And I'm going to, Uncle Peter.

Browning nods. Wipes the rain from his face. In the puddle
beside them, the reflection is not Browning, but Eames.

EXT. UNDERNEATH BRIDGE IN THE RAIN - MOMENTS LATER

Arthur sits on the riverbank, breathing heavily.

ARTHUR
What happened?

ARIADNE
Cobb stayed.

ARTHUR
With Mal?

ARIADNE
No. To find Saito.

Arthur looks out at the water below the bridge.

ARTHUR
He'll be lost...

ARIADNE
No. He'll be alright.
144.

And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. DAWN. CRASHING SURF.

The waves TOSS a BEARDED MAN onto wet sand.

As the Japanese Security Guard turns him onto his back, we
realize that this is Cobb- OLDER. WEARY. TRAVELLED...

INT. DINING ROOM, CASTLE - DAY

Cobb WOLFS his food. The Elderly Japanese Man (Saito, 90
years old) watches him.

SAITO
So... have you come to kill me?

Cobb does not look up.

SAITO
I've been waiting for someone to
come for me...

COBB
Someone from your half-remembered
dream...?

Saito peers at Cobb.

SAITO
Cobb? Not possible-he and I were
young men together. And I am an old
man...

COBB
Filled with regret?

Saito REMEMBERS, nods...

SAITO
Waiting to die alone, yes.

Cobb is STARING at something on the table.

COBB
I came back for you... I came to
remind you of what you once knew...

Cobb gestures at the table. Saito follows his gaze down to
the polished surface of the table...

COBB
That this world is not real.
145.

The top IS STILL SPINNING PERFECTLY, AS IF IT WILL NEVER
TOPPLE. Saito looks at the top. Then back to Cobb.

SAITO
You came to convince me to honor
our arrangement?

COBB
Yes. And to take a leap of faith.

As Saito-san listens to Cobb, he looks at the GUN on the
table between them...

COBB
Come back and we'll be young men
together again.

The elderly Saito looks at Cobb. Nods. And we-

CUT TO:

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN, 747 - DAY

Ariadne watches Cobb. His eyes are closed.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT (O.S.)
Hot towel, sir?

His EYES FLICKER OPEN. He takes the towel with a nod. Ariadne
smiles. Relieved.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT
We'll be landing in Los Angeles in
about twenty minutes. Do you need
immigration forms?

Cobb nods. Takes a landing card. Looks around the cabin.

Saito is WATCHING him. Serious. Haunted. Holding Cobb's gaze,
SAITO PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS. Cobb nods thanks...

INT. ARRIVALS, LAX - LATER

Cobb steps forwards to the IMMIGRATION OFFICIAL. Hands him
his passport. Nervous. The Official takes a beat, looks Cobb
up and down, then WHUMP!- the passport is stamped. As Cobb
takes it back, he spots Ariadne at the next counter. She nods
at him. He nods back. Then moves off...

As Cobb passes through baggage claim, he exchanges subtle
greetings with Eames and Yusuf.

Arthur smiles broadly at Cobb. Cobb brushes past Fischer, who
glances back at him as if thinking maybe he should know him,
then moves on...
146.

As Cobb emerges into the crowded arrivals hall, he spots
Professor Miles, waving at him...

INT. KITCHEN, COBB AND MAL'S HOUSE - DAY

Cobb enters with Miles. Drops his bags. Moves to the table,
looking out at the overgrown garden. He reaches into his
pocket, takes out his pewter spinning top, lowers it to the
table and SPINS IT- a CHILD'S SHOUT makes him look up-

Through the window, James and Philippa have run into view,
playing, THEIR FACES TURNED AWAY... Cobb STARES at the back
of his children's heads... Miles moves to the window and
KNOCKS on the glass-

James and Philippa TURN- see their Dad. He steps to the
window, watching their BRIGHT FACES SHINING as they run
towards him...

Behind him, on the table, the spinning top is STILL SPINNING.
And we-

FADE OUT.

CREDITS.

END.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In this scene, Fischer grapples with his father's legacy as he rescues Browning from a submerged van, asserting his independence. Meanwhile, Ariadne, Arthur, and Yusuf wait underwater, discovering Cobb and Saito lifeless. The narrative shifts to Cobb, who confronts Saito in a castle, urging him to honor their past agreement. The scene culminates with Cobb reuniting with his children at LAX, leaving his spinning top on the table, symbolizing the uncertainty of his reality.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Thematic richness
  • Engaging action sequences
  • Character development
  • Resolution of key plot points
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be complex for casual viewers
  • Pacing may be too fast for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, combining intense action with emotional depth and thematic richness. It effectively resolves key plot points while setting up a hopeful and reflective conclusion.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of limbo, the idea of inception, and the theme of facing one's regrets and making a leap of faith are central to the scene. These concepts are executed with clarity and depth, adding layers to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with multiple storylines converging and resolving in a satisfying manner. The scene moves the story forward significantly while providing closure to key character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique situations such as characters navigating a sinking van in a river, facing life-threatening challenges, and engaging in philosophical dialogue. The authenticity of characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show growth and development, particularly Cobb and Fischer. Their interactions and decisions drive the emotional impact of the scene, adding depth to their arcs.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes, particularly Cobb and Fischer. They confront their pasts, make important decisions, and find closure, leading to personal growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his father's death and assert his independence. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and self-identity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to save himself and his companions from the sinking van and navigate the dangerous river. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains both internal and external conflicts, adding tension and drama. The characters face personal dilemmas and physical challenges, heightening the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing life-threatening challenges, moral dilemmas, and internal conflicts that add complexity and tension.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high, with characters facing life-threatening situations, emotional challenges, and moral dilemmas. The outcome of their actions has significant consequences for their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving key conflicts, setting up the final act, and providing closure to important character arcs. It sets the stage for the climax while delivering impactful moments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists, moral dilemmas, and character choices that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around themes of identity, sacrifice, and redemption. The protagonist's actions challenge his beliefs about loyalty and self-sacrifice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from sadness and regret to hope and resolution. The character dynamics and thematic depth contribute to a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, conveying emotions, themes, and character motivations effectively. It enhances the tension and emotional resonance of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action sequences, emotional character moments, and philosophical dialogue. The high stakes and character dynamics keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing action, emotion, and dialogue, creating a sense of urgency and tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events, character interactions, and thematic development.


Critique
  • The final scene of the script provides a satisfying resolution to Cobb's emotional journey, but it could benefit from more explicit connections to the earlier parts of the story.
  • The introduction of Professor Miles in the last moments feels abrupt and lacks context. Consider introducing him earlier or providing more background on his relationship with Cobb.
  • The scene could be strengthened by more directly tying up loose ends, such as addressing the fate of Arthur and the rest of the team, or providing a clearer sense of the impact of their mission.
Suggestions
  • To enhance the emotional impact of the final scene, consider adding a brief moment where Cobb reflects on his journey and the people he's lost along the way.
  • Introduce Professor Miles earlier in the script, perhaps during the scene where Cobb seeks out an architect, to provide more context for their relationship.
  • Include a brief epilogue or denouement that addresses the fates of the other characters and the aftermath of their mission, providing a sense of closure for the reader.