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Scene 1 -  Laughter and Tension in the Department of Health
INT. DEPT. OF HEALTH, OFFICE - MORNING

CLOSE ON ARTHUR (30's), tears in his eyes from laughing so
hard. He's trying to get it under control. His greasy, black
hair hanging down over his forehead. He's wearing an old,
faded green cardigan sweater, a threadbare gray scarf, thin
from years of use, hangs loosely around his neck.

He's sitting across from an overworked SOCIAL WORKER (50's),
African American. Her office is cramped and run-down in a
cramped and run-down building. Stacks of folders piled high
in front of her.

She just sits behind her desk, waiting for his laughing fit
to end, she's been through this before. Finally it subsides.

Arthur takes a deep breath, pauses to see if it's over.

Beat.

ARTHUR
--is it just me, or is it getting
crazier out there?

Despite the laughter, there's real pain in his eyes.
Something broken in him. Looks like he hasn't slept in days.

SOCIAL WORKER
It's certainly tense. People are
upset, they're struggling. Looking
for work. The garbage strike seems
like it's been going on forever.
These are tough times.
(then)
How 'bout you. Have you been
keeping up with your journal?

ARTHUR
Everyday.

SOCIAL WORKER
Great. Did you bring it with you?

Beat.
2.


ARTHUR
(dodging the subject)
I'm sorry. Did I bring what?

SOCIAL WORKER
(impatient; she doesn't
have time for this)
Arthur, last time I asked you to
bring your journal with you. For
these appointments. Do you have it?

ARTHUR
Yes ma'am.

Beat.

SOCIAL WORKER
Can I see it?

He reluctantly reaches into the pocket of his jacket hanging
on the chair behind him. Pulls out a weathered notebook.
Slides it across to her--

ARTHUR
I've been using it as a journal,
but also a joke diary. Funny
thoughts or, or observations-- Did
I tell you I'm pursuing a career in
stand-up comedy?

She's half-listening as she flips through his journal.

SOCIAL WORKER
No. You didn't.

ARTHUR
I think I did.

She doesn't respond, keeps flipping through his journal--

PAGES AND PAGES OF NOTES, neat, angry-looking handwriting.
Also, cut out photos from hardcore pornographic magazines and
some crude handmade drawings.

A flash of anger crosses Arthur's face--

ARTHUR
I didn't realize you wanted to read
it.

The social worker gives him a look, then reads something in
the pages that gives her pause--
3.


SOCIAL WORKER
(reading out loud)
"I just hope my death makes more
cents than my life."

She looks up at Arthur. He just stares back. Lets it hang out
there for a beat.

Then he laughs a little, even though he doesn't think it's
funny--

ARTHUR
Yeah. I mean, that's just--

SOCIAL WORKER
Does my reading it upset you?

He leans in.

ARTHUR
No. I just,-- some of it's
personal. You know?

SOCIAL WORKER
I understand. I just want to make
sure you're keeping up with it.

She slides his journal back to him. He holds it in his lap.

SOCIAL WORKER
How does it feel to have to come
here? Does it help having someone
to talk to?

ARTHUR
I think I felt better when I was
locked up, in the hospital.

SOCIAL WORKER
And have you thought more about why
you were “locked up?"

ARTHUR
Well I suppose I was mentally ill.

SOCIAL WORKER
How’s that?

ARTHUR
Well my mother thought I was
mentally ill, so she had me
committed.
4.


SOCIAL WORKER
Did you feel mentally ill?

ARTHUR
They’ve been saying that since I
was little. So who knows.

Long pause.

ARTHUR
I was wondering if you could ask
the doctor to increase my
medication.

The social worker ruffles through some papers--

SOCIAL WORKER
Arthur, you’re on seven different
medications. Surely they must be
doing something.

Beat.

ARTHUR
I just don’t want to feel so bad
anymore.

And we HEAR "TEMPTATION RAG" playing on a broken down piano--
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur, a man in his 30s, shares his joke diary with an overworked social worker in a cramped and run-down office. The social worker reads a dark entry that upsets Arthur, leading to a discussion about his past hospitalization and request for increased medication. The scene ends with the sound of a broken down piano playing 'Temptation Rag.'
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of character emotions
  • Humor injected through Arthur's joke diary
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the tone and introduces the main character's internal conflict. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the character's past and current struggles. The scene sets up the potential for character growth and conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a character seeking help from a social worker to cope with mental illness is not entirely unique, but the inclusion of the journal as a source of humor and personal expression adds an interesting layer to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene revolves around the protagonist's interaction with the social worker and his request for increased medication. It sets up potential conflicts and raises questions about the protagonist's mental state and past experiences.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the protagonist's internal struggles and the use of humor to address serious topics. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in this scene, particularly Arthur and the social worker, are well-defined and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. Arthur's pain and struggle are evident, while the social worker's professionalism and concern for his well-being are portrayed effectively.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, it sets up the potential for growth and transformation for Arthur as he seeks help and confronts his past.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to feel better and not feel so bad anymore. This reflects his deeper need for relief from his pain and suffering.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to ask the social worker to increase his medication. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in trying to alleviate his emotional pain.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in this scene is primarily internal, as Arthur grapples with his mental state and seeks help. There is also a subtle conflict between Arthur and the social worker regarding his journal and medication.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the social worker challenges the protagonist's beliefs and pushes him to confront his emotions. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in this scene are primarily internal, as Arthur seeks relief from his emotional pain and hopes for a better future. The potential consequences of not finding the help he needs are hinted at.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the protagonist's current state and his desire for change. It sets up potential conflicts and raises questions about his past experiences.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the protagonist's use of his journal as a joke diary and the social worker's discovery of disturbing content in it.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief that he is mentally ill and his uncertainty about it. This challenges his values and worldview, as he questions the validity of the label placed on him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, empathy, and a touch of humor. Arthur's pain and vulnerability are palpable, creating an emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in this scene is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their relationship. It effectively conveys the protagonist's pain and the social worker's attempts to help him. The humor injected through Arthur's joke diary adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a compelling conflict between the protagonist and the social worker, as well as the protagonist's internal struggles. The dialogue and character dynamics hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of tension and reflection. It balances the dialogue and pauses to create a rhythmic flow.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings and clear descriptions. It is well-organized and easy to follow.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear dialogue and scene direction. It effectively conveys the interactions between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur in tears from laughing, which immediately establishes his unstable emotional state. However, it is not clear why he is laughing or what has caused him to be in this state. Providing some context or backstory would help the audience understand his emotional turmoil.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and the social worker feels a bit disjointed and lacks a clear direction. It jumps from discussing the tense times people are facing to Arthur's journal without a smooth transition. The conversation could benefit from a clearer focus or objective.
  • The social worker's reaction to Arthur's journal is not well-defined. She reads a dark entry that upsets Arthur, but her response is not explored further. It would be helpful to delve deeper into her thoughts and feelings about what she reads and how it relates to Arthur's mental state.
  • The scene ends with the sound of a broken down piano playing 'Temptation Rag,' which adds a somber tone. However, the significance of this choice is not clear. It would be beneficial to provide more context or symbolism to enhance the impact of the ending.
Suggestions
  • Provide some context or backstory to explain why Arthur is in tears from laughing at the beginning of the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue between Arthur and the social worker to have a clearer focus or objective.
  • Explore the social worker's reaction to Arthur's journal in more depth to add complexity to their interaction.
  • Add more context or symbolism to the ending with the broken down piano playing 'Temptation Rag' to enhance its impact.



Scene 2 -  Humiliation in Gotham Square
EXT. GOTHAM SQUARE, MIDTOWN - AFTERNOON - DAYS LATER

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, NOW DRESSED UP AS A CLOWN, painted white
face... Wide red smile outlined in black around his mouth...
Bulbous red nose... Bald cap with two patches of frizzy green
hair sticking out over the ears, little bowler hat... Too-
tight buttoned jacket... Baggy pants and oversized colored
shoes. This is his job.

PULLING OUT, we see he's holding a sign in front of Kenny's
Music Shop that reads, "EVERYTHING MUST GO!" A banner above
the store reads, "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS!" Behind him, an OLD
MAN plays an old piano on the busy street, garbage bags piled
everywhere.

Arthur's doing a little Charlie Chaplin like performance to
the music, twirling the sign, bringing attention to the sale.
He's pretty good, feeling the music in his bones, light on
his feet. Still most people walk right past, ignoring him.

ARTHUR SEES A GROUP OF BOYS pointing at him from down the
street, laughing at him... One of the boys throws an empty
Coke can at Arthur as they get close... Arthur holds up the
sign like a shield, Coke can bouncing off it--
5.


The boys walk up on Arthur... He tries ignoring them, keeps
dancing to the old ragtime, holding up the sign as they
surround him... One of the kids knocks the sign out of
Arthur's hands--

The other kids crack up. Arthur bends over to pick up his
sign and... Kicks it... Attempts to pick it up again and...
Kicks it again... It's a bit.

Arthur bends over a third time to pick up the sign and...

One of the boys kicks him right in the ass--

Arthur falls face first onto the sidewalk. Oddly, the old man
playing the piano picks up the pace of the music--

The kids crack up. One of the boys grabs Arthur's sign and
takes off running across the street--

The other kids follow, weaving through traffic--

Arthur gets up and gives chase. He needs his sign back.

He almost gets hit by a taxi, spinning out of the way just in
time-- Spinning right into another taxi that stops just short
of hitting him.

Arthur keeps running through traffic. People stare. A clown
barreling down the street has got to be a joke--
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Arthur, now dressed up as a clown, stands in front of Kenny's Music Shop holding a sign that reads 'EVERYTHING MUST GO!' A group of boys point, laugh, and throw an empty Coke can at him. They surround Arthur, knock his sign out of his hands, and kick him, causing him to fall onto the sidewalk. The boys run off with Arthur's sign, and he chases after them, narrowly avoiding being hit by a taxi.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of tension and humor
  • Engaging plot and conflict
  • Well-defined characters
Weaknesses
  • Theme could be further developed

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends tension and humor, creating an engaging and memorable sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a struggling clown facing ridicule and adversity is intriguing and relatable.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the protagonist's pursuit of his stolen sign, creating a clear objective and escalating conflict.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a clown being humiliated is not entirely unique, the specific actions and details of the scene, such as the use of a sign as a shield and the involvement of an old man playing the piano, add freshness to the familiar situation. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined, with Arthur as a sympathetic and determined protagonist and the boys as antagonistic figures.

Character Changes: 7

Arthur experiences humiliation and determination, showcasing a small character change within the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain his dignity and assert himself in the face of humiliation. This reflects his deeper need for validation and respect, as well as his fear of being seen as a joke or a failure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to retrieve his sign that was taken by one of the boys. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of reclaiming his property and maintaining his job as a clown performer.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and the boys creates a high-stakes situation and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces humiliation and obstacles in his pursuit of his goals. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these challenges, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high for Arthur as he faces ridicule and must retrieve his stolen sign to maintain his job.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges and resilience of the protagonist.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the old man playing the piano and the boys' actions, that create tension and uncertainty about the outcome of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's desire for dignity and the boys' desire to humiliate him. This conflict challenges Arthur's belief in the inherent worth and respect he deserves as a person.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes both tension and amusement, eliciting emotional responses from the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and humor of the scene, with minimal but impactful lines.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a visually interesting and dynamic situation, with the protagonist facing obstacles and challenges. The humor and humiliation add emotional depth and create a sense of anticipation for the audience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of humor and tension. The rhythm of the scene matches the actions and emotions of the characters, creating a dynamic and engaging experience for the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting to clearly convey the visual and auditory elements of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the location and the protagonist's appearance, followed by a series of actions and dialogue that advance the plot and develop the character.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a clear visual description of Arthur's clown appearance, which helps to establish his new job and the contrast between his appearance and the busy street.
  • The use of the sign and the banner above the store effectively convey the message that the store is going out of business, and Arthur's performance adds a touch of humor to the scene.
  • The interaction with the group of boys adds conflict and tension to the scene, as they mock and physically assault Arthur.
  • The scene effectively conveys Arthur's determination to retrieve his sign, as he chases after the boys despite the danger of traffic.
  • The use of the broken down piano playing 'Temptation Rag' as the scene transitions adds a touch of irony and foreshadows the challenges and hardships Arthur will face.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more dialogue or internal thoughts for Arthur to further develop his character and provide insight into his emotions and motivations.
  • Explore the possibility of having Arthur interact with other characters in the scene, such as the old man playing the piano or a passerby who witnesses the assault, to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider adding more visual details to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene, such as describing the reactions of the people on the street or the sounds and smells of the busy city.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more symbolism or metaphorical elements into the scene to deepen the themes and messages of the screenplay.
  • Consider adding a resolution or consequence to the conflict with the boys, such as Arthur retrieving his sign or facing some form of justice, to provide a sense of closure and progression in the story.



Scene 3 -  Brutal Beating and Uncomfortable Laughter
EXT. CORNER, ALLEY - GOTHAM SQUARE - CONTINUOUS

The five boys are booking it down the busy street laughing
and whooping it up. At the last second they take a sharp
right turn down an alley--

Arthur almost overshoots the corner, slip-sliding in his
oversized shoes--

He rights himself and heads down after them--

Sees them running up ahead--

WHAP! Out of nowhere Arthur gets hit in the face!

He falls to the ground.

One of the kids was hiding behind a dumpster and hit Arthur
with the "EVERYTHING MUST GO!" sign, splintering it in two--

The other kids turn back and walk up to Arthur down on the
ground.
6.


Arthur reaches out, still trying to save the sign--

THE KIDS START KICKING AND BEATING THE SHIT out of Arthur.
It's brutal and vicious. Nobody on the street stops to help.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR'S CLOWN FACE, down on the ground. Sweat
running down his face, smearing his make-up. Doesn't even
look like he's in pain. He just takes the beating. Arthur's
good at taking a beating.

That stupid smile painted on his face.

TITLE:

JOKER

INT. CITY BUS (MOVING) - HEADING UPTOWN - LATE AFTERNOON

Arthur sitting in the back of a crowded bus, looking out the
window at the city passing him by... his make-up's washed
off, still see some white grease-paint smudged on the sides
of his face.

He feels somebody staring, turns to see a sad-eyed THREE-YEAR-
OLD BOY, face puffy from crying, sitting on his knees looking
back at him. His mother's facing forward, but even from
behind you can tell she's angry.

Arthur doesn't know where to look, feeling self-conscious and
small. He gets back into "character" smiling like a clown and
covers his face with his hands-- Starts playing the peek-a-
boo game with him.

The boy stares back at him for a moment then giggles--

WOMAN ON BUS
(turns back to Arthur;
already annoyed)
Can you please stop bothering my
kid?

ARTHUR
I wasn't bothering him, I was--

WOMAN ON BUS
(interrupts)
Just stop.

AND SUDDENLY ARTHUR STARTS TO LAUGH. LOUD. He covers his
mouth trying to hide it-- Shakes his head, laughter pausing
for a moment, but then it comes on stronger. His eyes are
sad. It actually looks like the laughter causes him pain.
7.


People on the bus are staring. The little boy looks like he's
going to cry again.

WOMAN ON BUS
You think that's funny?

Arthur shakes his head no, but he can't stop laughing. He
reaches in his pocket and pulls out a small card. Hands it to
the woman.

CLOSE ON THE CARD, it reads: "Forgive my laughter. I have a
condition (more on back)"

She turns the card over and there is a bunch of information
in small writing--
"It's a medical condition causing sudden, frequent, uncontrollable laughter that
doesn’t match how you feel. It can happen in people with a brain injury or certain
neurological conditions."

She doesn't read it (but if you freeze frame the movie you
could). She just shakes her head annoyed and throws the card
on the ground.

Arthur laughs harder. Tears running down his face.

Not wanting to attract any more attention to himself, he
covers his mouth with his threadbare scarf, trying to muffle
the laughter--
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, the five boys run down a busy street and turn into an alley. Arthur almost misses the corner but catches up. Suddenly, one of the kids hits Arthur in the face, and the others join in, beating him while he's on the ground. Despite the brutal beating, Arthur continues to smile with his clown face. The scene transitions to Arthur on a city bus, where he tries to entertain a sad-eyed three-year-old boy. The boy's mother gets annoyed and asks Arthur to stop. Arthur starts laughing uncontrollably, causing discomfort to himself and the people on the bus. He hands a card to the woman explaining his condition, but she throws it on the ground. Arthur continues to laugh, covering his mouth with a scarf to muffle the sound.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
  • Unique concept
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the brutality and vulnerability of the main character. The juxtaposition of laughter and pain adds depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a clown being physically beaten while maintaining a smile and laughter is unique and thought-provoking. It highlights the internal struggle and resilience of the character.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene focuses on the physical assault on Arthur and his reaction to it. It effectively portrays the ongoing challenges he faces in his life.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the protagonist's struggle with uncontrollable laughter and the societal indifference towards his suffering. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Arthur, are well-developed and evoke strong emotions from the audience. Arthur's vulnerability and resilience make him a compelling protagonist.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases Arthur's resilience and his ability to maintain his clown persona despite the physical and emotional abuse. It highlights his transformation from a vulnerable individual to a symbol of strength.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and hide his pain and vulnerability. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance and his fear of being seen as weak or different.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid further confrontation and humiliation. It reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with the physical assault and the negative reactions of the people around him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in this scene is high, with Arthur being physically assaulted by a group of boys. The lack of intervention from bystanders adds to the tension and brutality.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces physical violence and societal rejection. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Arthur faces physical assault and the potential loss of his clown persona. It emphasizes the danger and vulnerability he experiences.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by depicting the ongoing challenges faced by Arthur and his journey towards becoming the Joker. It deepens the audience's understanding of his character.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the sudden assault on the protagonist and his uncontrollable laughter, which adds tension and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in finding humor in difficult situations and the woman's belief that his laughter is inappropriate and offensive. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and highlights the disconnect between his internal experience and the external perception of his behavior.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of sympathy, sadness, and anger. The contrast between Arthur's laughter and the pain he experiences intensifies the emotional response.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue in this scene is minimal but impactful. The most memorable line is when Arthur hands the woman a card explaining his condition. It effectively conveys his struggle and the lack of understanding from others.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a dramatic and intense conflict, evokes strong emotions, and raises questions about the protagonist's journey and the world he inhabits.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and intensity during the physical assault and contrasting it with the slower and more introspective moments on the bus.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene transitions.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions of the characters' actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene starts with the five boys running down the street and taking a sharp right turn into an alley. The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition or establishing shot to orient the audience.
  • The action of Arthur almost overshooting the corner and slip-sliding in his oversized shoes feels unnecessary and doesn't add much to the scene. It could be removed to streamline the action.
  • The moment when Arthur gets hit in the face by one of the kids hiding behind a dumpster is unexpected and adds a shocking element to the scene. However, the transition from Arthur being hit to the other kids joining in and beating him is too quick and could benefit from some additional setup or reaction shots.
  • The brutal beating that Arthur receives is a powerful and disturbing image, but it would be helpful to have some context or motivation for the boys' actions. Without this, it feels somewhat random and gratuitous.
  • The scene ends with a close-up of Arthur's clown face, still smiling despite the beating. This image is haunting and effectively conveys Arthur's resilience and pain. However, it would be beneficial to have some indication of how Arthur manages to escape the beating and get on the bus.
  • The transition to the city bus is abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition or establishing shot to establish the new location.
  • The interaction between Arthur and the sad-eyed three-year-old boy on the bus is a poignant moment that highlights Arthur's desire to bring joy and laughter to others. However, the interaction with the boy's mother feels forced and doesn't add much to the scene. It could be removed to streamline the scene.
  • The card that Arthur hands to the woman on the bus explaining his condition is a clever way to convey information about his uncontrollable laughter. However, the woman's reaction feels unrealistic and doesn't provide any meaningful impact to the scene.
  • The scene ends with Arthur laughing uncontrollably, covering his mouth with a scarf to muffle the sound. This image effectively conveys Arthur's struggle with his condition and the discomfort it causes him and those around him.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition or establishing shot to orient the audience to the new location of the alley.
  • Remove the slip-sliding moment to streamline the action and pacing of the scene.
  • Provide some context or motivation for the boys' actions to make their beating of Arthur feel more grounded and meaningful.
  • Add some indication of how Arthur manages to escape the beating and get on the bus.
  • Consider adding a smoother transition or establishing shot to establish the new location of the city bus.
  • Streamline the interaction with the sad-eyed three-year-old boy on the bus to focus on Arthur's desire to bring joy and laughter to others.
  • Consider revising the woman's reaction to Arthur's card to make it more realistic and impactful.
  • Consider adding a smoother transition or establishing shot to end the scene and transition to the next.



Scene 4 -  Arthur's Desolate Journey Home
EXT. THE BRONX, STREET - SUNSET

The bus pulls away, sun almost gone.

Arthur heads slowly limping down the litter-covered streets.
Garbage is piled along the sidewalks, the air thick with smog
creates a haze over everything.

The streets are crowded with the poor, the elderly and
disenfranchised. Women with children in busted strollers.
Homeless people sleeping on subway grates. Stray dogs. His is
one of the few white faces.

Arthur makes his way into a run-down drug store, behind him
two drunks fight on the corner, beating the shit out of each
other. Arthur, and nobody else for that matter, pays them any
attention.

No one here gives a shit.
8.


EXT. SIDE ALLEY, TENEMENTS - EARLY DUSK

Arthur cuts through a garbage filled alley behind decaying
apartment buildings. Holding a small white (prescription) bag
in his hand. Tenants overhead leaning out their windows,
smoking out their windows, laughing, arguing over loud music.

A BUNCH OF YOUNG KIDS HANGING OUT ON A FIRE-ESCAPE, yell down
at Arthur giving him shit in Spanish.


EXT. STEEP STAIRWAY, TENEMENTS - DUSK

Arthur turns from the street, looking up at a long, steep
concrete stairway that seems to go up forever, cutting
between two tenement buildings, graffiti tags sprayed all
over the brick walls. He starts the long climb up, step-after-
step-after-step-after-step...


INT. APARTMENT BUILDING, LOBBY - DUSK

A shabby lobby in a building that was once probably pretty
nice, but now it's a dump.

Arthur checks his mailbox. He's still holding the small white
bag in his hand.

The mailbox is empty.


INT. ELEVATOR, APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Arthur steps onto the small, graffiti covered elevator,
flickering fluorescent lights.


INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, FRONT DOOR - EVENING

Old apartment, worn carpet. Nothing's new inside but it's
fairly neat and well-kept.

PENNY (OS)
(shattering the moment)
Happy?! Did you check the mail
before you came up?

ARTHUR
Yes, Ma. Nothing. No letter.

His mother, PENNY FLECK (60's), comes in all made up. She
walks over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. He covers the
pain from his beating the best he can-- His mother doesn't
seem to notice anyway.
9.


PENNY
You sure you looked? Sometimes I
don't know where your head is.

ARTHUR
Yes I'm sure. And my head's right
here. Go lie down, I’m gonna make
you some dinner, okay?

QUICK CUTS:

ARTHUR TEARS OPEN THE PRESCRIPTION BAG... A FLURRY OF PILL
BOTTLES TUMBLE OUT ONTO THE COUNTER.

SEE HIS NAME, "ARTHUR FLECK" ON THE ORANGE PILL BOTTLES,
TEMAZEPAM... PERPHENAZINE... AHENELZINE... AMITRIPTYLINE...
BENZEDRINE... DIAZEPAM... MEPROBAMATE...

TAKES OUT ONE PILL FROM EACH THE TEMAZEPAM AND MEPROBAMATE
BOTTLES.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur walks through the litter-covered streets of The Bronx, passing by crowded sidewalks filled with the poor, elderly, and disenfranchised. He enters a run-down drug store and ignores a fight between two drunks. He then cuts through a garbage-filled alley and begins climbing a long, steep stairway between tenement buildings. Arthur checks his mailbox in the shabby lobby of his apartment building, finding it empty. He takes the graffiti-covered elevator up to his mom's apartment. The scene ends with Arthur taking out pills from various prescription bottles.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of a harsh environment
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Resilience of the protagonist
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively creates a tense and dark atmosphere, showcasing the brutal violence and the emotional resilience of the protagonist. The depiction of the rundown neighborhood and the indifference of the people adds depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, portraying the protagonist's struggle and resilience in a harsh environment, is well-executed. It effectively conveys the themes of isolation, desperation, and the harsh realities of life.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the protagonist's journey through a rundown neighborhood, his brutal beating, and his interaction on the bus. It effectively advances the overall story by highlighting the challenges and hardships faced by the protagonist.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of a gritty and impoverished neighborhood, the protagonist's internal and external goals, and the philosophical conflict between the protagonist's values and the indifference of the world. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene provides insight into Arthur's character, showcasing his resilience and ability to maintain a smile despite the brutal beating. The interaction with the three-year-old boy and the woman on the bus also adds depth to his character.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases Arthur's resilience and ability to maintain a smile despite the brutal beating. It also reveals his desire to connect with others, as seen in his interaction with the three-year-old boy.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to provide for his mother and make her dinner. This reflects his deeper need for connection, love, and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to check the mail and find a letter. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his life and his desire for some form of positive news or change.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both physical and emotional. The brutal beating Arthur endures and the tension on the bus create a high level of conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces the indifference and neglect of the world around him. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles and find meaning and connection.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the protagonist endures a brutal beating and faces rejection and indifference from those around him. It emphasizes the harsh realities and challenges he must overcome.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges and hardships faced by the protagonist. It deepens the understanding of Arthur's character and sets up further conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the audience to a harsh and indifferent world where the protagonist's goals and desires are challenged. The outcome of his search for a letter and his interactions with the environment and characters are uncertain.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the importance of family and taking care of his mother, and the indifference and neglect of the world around him. This challenges his values and worldview, as he struggles to find meaning and purpose in a society that doesn't seem to care.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, eliciting feelings of sadness, empathy, and discomfort. The brutal beating and Arthur's laughter despite the pain create a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful. It effectively conveys the protagonist's condition and his attempt to communicate with others. The dialogue between Arthur and his mother also reveals their strained relationship.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the gritty and despairing world of the protagonist. The vivid descriptions, the portrayal of the protagonist's struggles, and the philosophical conflict create a sense of intrigue and emotional investment.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and anticipation. The slow and deliberate movements of the protagonist, the vivid descriptions, and the quick cuts between different locations and actions maintain the audience's engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is properly formatted with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively establishes the setting, introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, and progresses the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a good establishing shot of the Bronx streets, setting the tone and atmosphere of the scene.
  • The description of the litter-covered streets and the crowded sidewalks effectively convey the poverty and disenfranchisement of the area.
  • The fight between the two drunks in the corner adds a sense of chaos and indifference to the surroundings.
  • The use of graffiti-covered walls and decaying buildings in the alley helps create a gritty and run-down atmosphere.
  • The long climb up the steep stairway is a good visual representation of the uphill battle Arthur faces in his life.
  • The empty mailbox symbolizes Arthur's disappointment and isolation.
  • The description of the elevator as graffiti-covered and with flickering lights adds to the overall sense of decay and neglect.
  • The interaction between Arthur and his mother shows their strained relationship and Arthur's attempt to care for her despite his own struggles.
  • The quick cuts of Arthur opening the prescription bag and the pill bottles help establish his reliance on medication.
  • The use of laughter and tears in the final lines of the scene adds an emotional depth to Arthur's character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more specific details to the litter-covered streets and crowded sidewalks to enhance the visual imagery.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene.
  • Consider adding more dialogue or actions between Arthur and his mother to further develop their relationship.
  • Provide more context or explanation for the significance of the pill bottles and Arthur's reliance on medication.
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions from Arthur to give the reader a deeper understanding of his character.



Scene 5 -  A Mother's Disappointment
INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - NIGHT

Arthur sets the food down in front of his mother lying in
bed. The TV's on, playing the local news.

PENNY
He must not be getting my letters.

Arthur sits down on a small chair in front of an old vanity,
table covered with his mother's make-up.

ARTHUR
It's Thomas Wayne, Mom. He's a busy
man.

PENNY
Please. I worked for that family
for years. He always had a smile
for me. Least he could do is write
back.

ARTHUR
Ma, eat. You need to eat.

PENNY
You need to eat. Look how skinny
you are.

Before Arthur can say anything, his mother points to the news
on the TV--
10.


PENNY
All day long it's more bad news.
That's all there is.

ARTHUR
Maybe you shouldn't watch so much
television.

PENNY
Thomas Wayne is our only hope.
He'll make a great mayor. Everybody
says so.

ARTHUR
(playful)
Everybody who? Who do you talk to?

PENNY
Well everybody on the news.
(beat)
He's the only one who can save this
city. He owes it to us.

Arthur smiles for his mother as he cuts up some more of her
food.

PENNY
(she pats the bed)
Come sit. It’s starting.

Arthur gets into bed with her, their nightly ritual. Stay on
his face as he watches the opening to their favorite show--

BARRY O'DONNELL (OS ON TV)
From NCB Studios in Gotham City,
it's "Live with Murray Franklin!"
Tonight, Murray welcomes, Sandra
Winger, comedian Skip Byron and the
piano stylings of Yeldon & Chantel!

ANGLE ON TELEVISION, intro to "LIVE WITH MURRAY FRANKLIN!"
playing--

BARRY O'DONNELL (ON TV)
Joining Murray as always, Ellis
Drane and his Jazz Orchestra. And
me, I'm "that guy" Barry O'Donnell.
And now, without further ado--
Murraaaaay Franklin!
11.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur takes care of his mother, Penny, in their apartment. He sets food down in front of her while the TV plays the news. Penny expresses her disappointment in Thomas Wayne not responding to her letters and her hope for him to save the city. Arthur tries to convince her to eat and suggests she shouldn't watch so much television. They discuss Thomas Wayne's potential as a mayor and their hope for him. Arthur cuts up more food for his mother and then gets into bed with her to watch their favorite show, 'Live with Murray Franklin.'
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of character emotions
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Realistic depiction of daily struggles
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more concise

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the tone and emotions of the story, highlighting the struggles and resilience of the main character. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about Arthur's relationship with his mother and his perception of the world around him. The scene also sets up the conflict and establishes the stakes for the character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Arthur's daily struggles and his unwavering hope in the face of adversity. It effectively portrays the harsh reality of his life and sets up the conflicts and challenges he will face throughout the story.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on Arthur's interactions with his mother and his experiences in the city. It establishes the strained relationship between Arthur and his mother, as well as his desire for Thomas Wayne's attention. The scene also introduces the theme of hope and the challenges Arthur faces in his daily life.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a son caring for his mother is familiar, the specific dynamics and conflicts between the characters feel fresh and authentic. The dialogue and actions of the characters feel true to their motivations and personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and evoke empathy from the audience. Arthur's resilience and his mother's longing for connection are effectively portrayed through their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur's character undergoes a subtle change in the scene. Despite the brutal beating, he continues to smile with his clown face, showcasing his resilience and determination. This change highlights his unwavering spirit in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to comfort and care for his mother. This reflects his deeper need for connection and his fear of losing his mother's love and support.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get his mother to eat. This reflects the immediate challenge of her refusal to eat and the protagonist's responsibility for her well-being.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene contains multiple conflicts, including Arthur's strained relationship with his mother, his desire for Thomas Wayne's attention, and the physical confrontation with the boys. These conflicts create tension and drive the story forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist's mother challenges his beliefs and desires, creating conflict and tension. The audience is left uncertain about how the protagonist will navigate this opposition and whether he will be able to fulfill his goals.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are high for Arthur, as he faces physical and emotional challenges. His desire for Thomas Wayne's attention and his hope for a better future add to the stakes. The scene establishes the risks and consequences Arthur faces in his daily life.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the strained relationship between Arthur and his mother, introducing the theme of hope, and setting up the conflicts and challenges he will face. It provides important context for the character's motivations and goals.

Unpredictability: 5

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces conflicting beliefs and desires between the characters, creating tension and uncertainty about how their relationship and the story will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in Thomas Wayne as the city's savior and his mother's belief in the power of television and the news. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and raises questions about the nature of hope and salvation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, hope, and discomfort. The audience empathizes with Arthur's struggles and feels the impact of the challenges he faces. The emotional impact adds depth to the story and engages the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It reveals important information about their relationships and establishes the tone of the scene. The playful banter between Arthur and his mother adds depth to their characters.

Engagement: 7

This scene is engaging because it focuses on the intimate relationship between the protagonist and his mother and explores their shared struggles in a troubled city. The naturalistic dialogue and relatable conflicts make the scene feel emotionally resonant.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of quiet intimacy and reflection, as well as moments of tension and conflict. The rhythm of the dialogue and the pauses between lines create a natural flow and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to read. The scene is well-paced and allows for the actors and director to interpret and bring the scene to life.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear establishing shot and introduces the characters and their goals through dialogue. The scene progresses with a natural flow and ends with a moment of connection between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur setting the food down in front of his mother, which establishes their relationship and the care he has for her. However, the dialogue between them feels a bit repetitive and lacks depth. It mainly revolves around Thomas Wayne and his potential as a mayor, which is mentioned multiple times without much development.
  • The conversation between Arthur and his mother feels a bit one-sided, with Arthur mostly trying to convince his mother to eat and not expressing his own thoughts and emotions. This could be an opportunity to delve deeper into Arthur's character and explore his own hopes and fears.
  • The dialogue also lacks subtext and nuance. It would be interesting to see more layers to their conversation, with underlying tensions and unspoken emotions. This could add depth to their relationship and make the scene more engaging.
  • The transition from the conversation to watching their favorite show feels abrupt and could be smoother. It would be helpful to have a clearer connection between the previous conversation and the TV show, perhaps through a shared interest or a specific reason why they enjoy watching it together.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and setting. This would help to immerse the reader in the world of the script and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth and complexity to the conversation between Arthur and his mother. Explore their individual hopes, fears, and frustrations, and allow their emotions to come to the surface.
  • Introduce subtext and unspoken tensions in the dialogue to create a more layered and engaging scene. This could be achieved through subtle gestures, pauses, or conflicting emotions.
  • Find a stronger connection between the previous conversation and the TV show. This could be done by establishing a shared history or a specific reason why they enjoy watching the show together.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and setting. Use vivid language to paint a picture of the environment and the characters' emotions.
  • Consider adding more moments of vulnerability and intimacy between Arthur and his mother to deepen their relationship and make the scene more emotionally resonant.



Scene 6 -  Murray Franklin Defends Arthur
INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

SPOTLIGHT ON SHIMMERING MULTICOLORED CURTAINS PARTING, AND
OUT DANCES MURRAY FRANKLIN (late 60's) doing an old soft shoe
to the jazzy tune Ellis Drane is playing him out to. Audience
cheering and applauding loudly for him. Murray takes a little
bow, and does one or two more steps to the music...

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, clapping in the middle of the crowd. He's
dressed "richer" (it's Arthur's fantasy version of himself).
Everybody around him is enthusiastically applauding Murray.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(looking into the crowd)
Thank you. Glad you're here. We've
got a great looking audience
tonight.

Murray motions for everybody to quiet down, nodding his head
in appreciation of their applause--

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Wow. Thank you.

He glances up at Arthur, who is clapping wildly, squints his
eyes a bit to make him out---

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Thank you.
(beat; smiling)
Who's that there? Hey Bobby, can
you raise the lights for me?

The house lights come up. Murray takes a few steps downstage
and points straight up at Arthur--

MURRAY FRANKLIN
You there, will you stand up?
What's your name?

Arthur looks around at the people around him, and realizes
Murray's talking to him. Murray picked him out of the crowd--

Arthur gets up to his feet. He talks more here, and with more
confidence, looks more at ease than we've seen him.

ARTHUR
Hi Murray. Arthur. My name is
Arthur.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
There's something special about you
Arthur, I can tell. Where you from?
12.


ARTHUR
I live right here in the city. With
my mother.

The audience starts to giggle and laugh at him.

Murray holds up his hand, stopping them from laughing, coming
to Arthur's defense--

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Hold on. There's nothing funny
about that. I lived with my mother
before I made it. It was just me
and her. I'm that kid whose father
went out for a pack of cigarettes
and never came back.

Audience "awwwws" for Murray, we can hear how much empathy
they have for him.

Arthur looks around at the crowd surrounding him.

ARTHUR
I know what that's like, Murray.
I've been the man of the house for
as long as I can remember. I take
good care of my mother.

The audience starts to applaud Arthur.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
All that sacrifice. She must love
you very much.

ARTHUR
She does. She always tells me to
smile and put on a happy face. She
says that I was put here to spread
joy and laughter.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
What? Hold on. Can you say that
again?

ARTHUR
(beaming with pride)
My mother told me I had a purpose,
to bring laughter and joy to the
world.

Murray Franklin nods in approval, and claps his hands loudly
along with the rest of his audience, cheering for Arthur--
13.


MURRAY FRANKLIN
Wow. I like that. I like that a
lot.

CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Murray Franklin, a late 60's talk show host, notices Arthur in the audience and asks him to stand up. Arthur introduces himself and reveals that he lives with his mother, which causes the audience to laugh. However, Murray defends Arthur and shares his own experience of growing up without a father. Arthur talks about being the man of the house and his mother's belief in his purpose to bring joy and laughter. Murray and the audience applaud and cheer for Arthur.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of contrasting emotions
  • Compelling character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or uncomfortable for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines tension, dark humor, and hope, creating a compelling and emotionally impactful sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur's dual existence as a struggling individual and a hopeful performer is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Arthur faces physical and emotional challenges, leading to a pivotal moment of recognition on the talk show set.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the talk show setting and the protagonist's desire for recognition are familiar elements, the specific dialogue and the protagonist's backstory add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Arthur and Murray Franklin, are well-developed and their interactions drive the emotional core of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant change as he transitions from being beaten to being recognized and appreciated, showcasing his resilience and hope.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to gain recognition and validation from Murray Franklin. It reflects his deeper need for acceptance and his desire to be seen as special and important.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to impress Murray Franklin and the audience with his story and performance. It reflects the immediate challenge of proving himself and gaining approval.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains both physical and emotional conflicts, adding tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is moderate. The initial laughter and ridicule from the audience provide a small obstacle for the protagonist, but it is quickly overcome with empathy and support.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Arthur as he faces physical violence, emotional challenges, and the need to find meaning in his life.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Arthur's journey and his growing desire to find purpose and spread joy.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it initially presents the protagonist as a target of ridicule, but then shifts to empathy and support from the audience and Murray Franklin.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in spreading joy and laughter and the audience's initial laughter and ridicule towards him. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview, but ultimately leads to empathy and understanding.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from discomfort during the beating to empathy for Arthur's struggles and joy during his recognition on the talk show set.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys Arthur's vulnerability, Murray's empathy, and the audience's reactions, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a charismatic talk show host, a vulnerable protagonist, and a conflict that creates empathy and anticipation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building up the protagonist's performance and the audience's reaction, creating tension and anticipation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for a screenplay. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for a talk show scene. It begins with an introduction of the setting and characters, followed by the protagonist's performance and interaction with Murray Franklin.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Murray Franklin dancing on stage to applause from the audience. This opening is effective in establishing the energy and excitement of the talk show set.
  • The introduction of Arthur as a member of the audience is well done, with Murray singling him out and asking him to stand up. This creates a sense of anticipation and curiosity about Arthur.
  • Arthur's response to Murray's question about where he's from and his mention of living with his mother is met with laughter from the audience. While Murray defends Arthur, the laughter undermines the empathy that was built up for Arthur in the previous scenes.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Murray about their shared experiences of growing up without a father is poignant and adds depth to Arthur's character. However, the transition from this conversation to Arthur talking about his mother's belief in his purpose feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The audience's enthusiastic response to Arthur's statement about his purpose to bring joy and laughter to the world feels forced and unrealistic. It would be more effective to show a mix of reactions from the audience, including skepticism or confusion.
  • The scene ends with Murray expressing his approval and the audience cheering for Arthur. This conclusion feels rushed and lacks a clear resolution or transition to the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue between Arthur and Murray to create a smoother transition from their discussion about absent fathers to Arthur's purpose. This could involve adding a bridge statement or question from Murray that leads into Arthur's revelation.
  • Explore ways to make the audience's reaction to Arthur's purpose more nuanced and realistic. This could involve showing a range of responses, including skepticism, curiosity, or empathy.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or realization for Arthur after Murray's approval and the audience's applause. This could help create a stronger sense of resolution and transition to the next scene.



Scene 7 -  Arthur's Dream Talk Show Moment
INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Arthur looks over at his mother lying next to him, her eyes
glued to the TV, hears the studio audience applauding, blue
light flickering over her face--

CUT TO:


INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, listening to the audience applauding him,
their applause getting louder and louder. He makes himself
smile as wide as he can to show them he's happy.

Sees Murray Franklin waving for him to come down out of the
crowd... First Arthur shakes his head no thanks... Sees BARRY
O'DONNELL (60's), Murray's announcer, also waving him down...
And Arthur finally relents and makes his way to the stage...
joining Murray under the lights.

MURRAY TAKES ARTHUR'S HAND, RAISES IT ABOVE THEIR HEADS AND
LEADS HIM IN TAKING A DEEP BOW... The audience goes crazy.
Murray leans in and whispers something to Arthur, who laughs.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(turns, looks into TV
camera)
Okay, we got a big show tonight,
stay tuned. We'll be right back.

Ellis Drane and his Jazz Orchestra plays them to the
commercial break... house lights go back down... cameras
start moving to their next position... Murray puts an arm
around Arthur, a private moment between them.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
That was great, Arthur, thanks. I
loved hearing what you had to say.
Made my day.

ARTHUR
Thanks, Murray. You know I grew up
without a dad too. He left right
after I was born. I don't know what
I ever did to him,--
14.


Murray pulls Arthur in closer, lowers his voice--

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Fuck him. Guy like that doesn't
deserve you, Arthur. You see all
this, the lights, the show, the,
the love of the audience, I'd give
it all up in a heartbeat to have a
son like you.

Arthur looks at Murray Franklin, tears in his eyes and Murray
looks back at him and gives him a hug.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur imagines himself on a talk show set, where Murray Franklin invites him to join him on stage. After some hesitation, Arthur joins Murray and they take a bow together. Murray expresses his admiration for Arthur and tells him that he would give up everything to have a son like him. The scene ends with Murray giving Arthur a hug.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Tense and dark tone
Weaknesses
  • Possible need for more clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the emotional journey of the main character, showcases the theme of finding hope in difficult circumstances, and creates a strong sense of conflict and stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a troubled man finding solace and purpose in his clown persona is intriguing and provides a unique perspective on mental health and resilience.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene follows Arthur's journey from being mocked and physically attacked as a clown to finding acceptance and support on a talk show. It effectively engages the audience and creates tension and anticipation.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a talk show and the themes of validation and acceptance are familiar, the specific interactions between the characters and the emotional depth of the protagonist's internal struggle add a fresh and unique perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and Murray Franklin, are well-developed and evoke empathy and interest. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant change in the scene, from being physically and emotionally beaten to finding acceptance and support on the talk show. This change highlights his resilience and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to feel validated and accepted. It reflects his deeper need for recognition and approval, as well as his fear of rejection and loneliness.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to perform well on the talk show and make a good impression on the audience. It reflects the immediate circumstance of being in the spotlight and the challenge of presenting himself in a positive light.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene contains both physical and emotional conflict, with Arthur being physically attacked and facing rejection from the woman on the bus. The conflict drives the plot and creates tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are no major obstacles or conflicts, the protagonist's internal struggle and the potential for rejection from the audience create a sense of opposition and challenge.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Arthur faces physical abuse, rejection, and the potential loss of his dream to bring joy to the world. The outcome of his journey has significant consequences for his character and the overall story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Arthur's journey and his increasing involvement with the talk show. It sets up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a moment of vulnerability and emotional connection between the protagonist and the talk show host. The audience is unsure of how the conversation will unfold and how it will impact the protagonist's journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the value of recognition and validation, and his fear of being alone and unloved. This conflict challenges his worldview and raises questions about the importance of external validation versus internal fulfillment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene elicits strong emotions from the audience, evoking sadness, empathy, and hope. Arthur's resilience and the contrast between his clown persona and the harsh reality of his life create a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and thoughts of the characters. It is realistic and engaging, contributing to the overall tone and themes of the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it captures the audience's attention with the anticipation of the protagonist's performance on the talk show. The dialogue and interactions between the characters create emotional tension and keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of anticipation and building emotional tension. The rhythm of the dialogue and the progression of actions keep the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the location, introduces the characters, and progresses through a series of actions and dialogue. The scene transitions smoothly between different settings and maintains a clear narrative flow.


Critique
  • The transition from Arthur lying next to his mother in bed to the talk show set is abrupt and could be smoother. Consider adding a visual or auditory cue to indicate the change in location.
  • The scene lacks a clear purpose or conflict. It seems to serve as a moment of triumph for Arthur, but it doesn't advance the plot or reveal new information about the character.
  • The dialogue between Murray and Arthur feels forced and cliché. The conversation about growing up without a father and the admiration for Arthur's resilience is predictable and lacks depth.
  • The emotional impact of the scene is diminished by the lack of build-up or tension. It feels like a generic feel-good moment rather than a meaningful turning point for the character.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. Consider incorporating visual cues or symbolism to enhance the emotional impact and add layers of meaning.
Suggestions
  • Consider reworking the transition between the bedroom and the talk show set to make it more seamless and visually engaging.
  • Give the scene a clearer purpose or conflict that drives the story forward and reveals something new about the character.
  • Revise the dialogue between Murray and Arthur to make it more authentic and nuanced. Explore deeper themes and emotions that resonate with the character's journey.
  • Build up the emotional tension in the scene by foreshadowing or creating obstacles for Arthur to overcome before reaching this moment of triumph.
  • Explore ways to incorporate visual storytelling techniques, such as symbolism or visual motifs, to enhance the emotional impact and add depth to the scene.



Scene 8 -  Clowning Around with Danger
INT. HA-HA'S TALENT BOOKING, LOCKER ROOM - DAY

The cramped locker room of a small talent booking agency.
This is where Arthur works. They "rent out" talent for
parties and events. Clowns, magicians, male strippers.

Arthur takes off his shirt in front of his open locker,
grimacing in pain as he moves. His body's bruised from the
beating he took chasing after his sign.

RANDALL (OS)
You okay?

He turns. A fellow party clown, RANDALL (mid 50's), big bear
of a know-it-all, is opening his own locker putting his dry-
cleaned clown suit inside.

RANDALL
I heard about the beat down you
took. Fucking savages.

ARTHUR
It was just a bunch of kids. I
should have left it alone.

Randall searches through his messy locker, going through all
the bags inside--

RANDALL
No, they'll take everything from
you if you do that, all the crazy
shit out there, they're animals,--

ARTHUR
(nods)
My mother says that people nowadays
lack empathy.
15.


RANDALL
What's empathy?

ARTHUR
It means like "feeling for other
people."

RANDALL
Like sympathy?

ARTHUR
Kind of. But different.

Randall comes over, hands Arthur a brown paper bag-- Arthur
looks inside, sees a GUN, a .38 SNUB-NOSED REVOLVER.

Arthur looks back up at Randall, confused--

RANDALL
Take it. You gotta protect yourself
out there. Or you're gonna get
fucked.

As Arthur stares at the gun--

ARTHUR
(whispering)
Randall, I'm not supposed to have a
gun.

RANDALL
Don't sweat it, Art. No one has to
know. And you can pay me back some
other time. You know you're my boy.

That lands with Arthur, he smiles to himself. Stuffs the
brown paper bag into his locker and continues getting
dressed.

Randall leans over and nudges Arthur, motioning to another
clown, GARY (30's), a dwarf, coming into the locker room from
their boss's office--

GARY
Arthur,-- Hoyt wants to see you in
his office.

Before Arthur can ask why, Randall interrupts him--

RANDALL
Hey Gary, you know what I've always
wondered?
16.


GARY
(he knows what's coming)
What?

RANDALL
Do you people call it miniature
golf or is it just golf to you?

Randall cracks up at his own dumb joke-- Gary just stares at
him, this is apparently their thing. Arthur's not sure if he
should laugh or not--
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the cramped locker room of a talent booking agency, Arthur, a party clown, grimaces in pain from bruises. Randall, a fellow clown, expresses concern and mentions the beating Arthur took. Arthur regrets his involvement and Randall warns him about the job's dangers. To protect himself, Randall gives Arthur a gun. Gary interrupts to inform Arthur that their boss wants to see him. The scene ends with Gary delivering the news.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and tragedy
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue exchanges could be tightened

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines dark humor with poignant moments, creating a strong emotional impact. The dialogue is engaging and thought-provoking, and the characters are well-developed.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a struggling clown facing adversity and trying to find his place in society is compelling. The scene introduces the theme of empathy and explores the protagonist's journey.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Arthur faces the aftermath of the beating and receives a gun from a fellow clown. The scene sets up future conflicts and establishes the challenges the protagonist will face.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and characters are somewhat familiar (a talent booking agency and party clowns), the specific situations and interactions are unique. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. Arthur's resilience and his mother's hope provide depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur's character undergoes a subtle change as he continues to smile despite the beating and rejection. His determination and resilience are reinforced.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to deal with the aftermath of the beating he took while chasing after his sign. It reflects his desire to protect himself and his fear of being vulnerable and defenseless.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find out why his boss wants to see him in his office. It reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing in his job as a party clown.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene contains both external conflict, with Arthur being beaten by the boys, and internal conflict, as he grapples with his role as a clown and his mother's expectations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. The protagonist faces challenges such as the aftermath of a beating and the offer of a gun, but the audience doesn't know how he will handle these obstacles.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Arthur as he faces physical and emotional challenges. His pursuit of happiness and acceptance drives the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and deepening the audience's understanding of Arthur's character and his relationship with his mother.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the protagonist being offered a gun by another clown. The audience doesn't know how the protagonist will react or what consequences this will have.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from laughter to sadness. Arthur's resilience and his ability to find humor in difficult situations create a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' emotions and perspectives. The conversation about empathy and the humorous exchange between Randall and Gary add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces intriguing characters, establishes conflicts and goals, and creates a sense of curiosity about what will happen next.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue and action, creating a sense of tension and curiosity, and keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters, and sets up the conflicts and goals.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear objective or conflict for Arthur. It seems to serve as a transition between scenes rather than advancing the plot or developing the character.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Randall feels forced and unnatural. The conversation about empathy and sympathy seems out of place and doesn't contribute to the scene or the overall story.
  • The introduction of the gun feels forced and doesn't have a clear purpose. It seems to be included for shock value rather than serving a meaningful role in the story.
  • The joke between Randall and Gary about miniature golf feels out of place and doesn't add anything to the scene or the story.
  • The scene lacks visual descriptions and details that could help create a more vivid and engaging setting.
Suggestions
  • Give Arthur a clear objective or conflict in the scene that advances the plot or develops his character. This could be related to his job, his relationship with Randall, or his overall goals.
  • Revise the dialogue between Arthur and Randall to make it more natural and meaningful. Focus on developing their relationship or exploring Arthur's thoughts and emotions.
  • Consider removing the gun from the scene unless it serves a clear purpose in the story. If it is necessary, find a more organic way to introduce it and explore its significance.
  • Remove the joke about miniature golf as it feels out of place and doesn't contribute to the scene or the story.
  • Add more visual descriptions and details to create a vivid and engaging setting. This could include the appearance of the locker room, the atmosphere, and the characters' physical actions.



Scene 9 -  Confrontation at Ha-Ha's Talent Booking
INT. FRONT OFFICE, HA-HA'S TALENT BOOKING - DAY

Arthur still half-dressed, walks into the cramped office.

His boss, HOYT VAUGHN (60's) sits behind a metal desk. The
office is a complete mess, newspapers and files litter the
desk. A giant ashtray filled with cigarette butts. A calendar
of booking hangs on the wall. A scribbled, jumbled mess.

ARTHUR
Hey Hoyt. Gary said you wanted to
see me?

HOYT
(without even looking up)
How's the comedy career? Are you a
famous stand-up yet?

ARTHUR
Not quite. Haven't even performed
yet. Just been working my material.
This business is all about fine-
tuning.

Now Hoyt looks up. Takes a drag from his cigarette.

HOYT
Right.

Arthur goes to sit down--

HOYT
Don't sit. This will be quick.

Arthur stops in his tracks.

HOYT
Look, I like you, Arthur. A lot of
the guys here, they think you're a
freak. But I like you. I don't even
know why I like you.
(MORE)
17.

HOYT (CONT’D)
I mean, you don't say much.
(beat)
It's probably that stupid laugh. It
gets me every time. Kills me.

Unsure how to respond, Arthur just nods.

HOYT
But I got another complaint. And
it's starting to piss me off.

Arthur takes a deep breath, and just smiles.

HOYT
Kenny's Music. The guy said you
disappeared. Never even returned
his sign.

ARTHUR
No. I got jumped. Didn't you hear?

HOYT
For a sign? Bullshit. It makes no
sense, just give him his sign back.
He's going out of business for
god's--

ARTHUR
(interrupting)
Why would I keep his sign?

HOYT
(snaps)
How the fuck do I know, why does
anybody do anything? Listen, if you
don't return the sign I gotta take
it outta your paycheck, you clear?

ARTHUR JUST LOOKS BACK AT HOYT AND KEEPS SMILING, like it
hurts his face.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur walks into the messy office of Ha-Ha's Talent Booking to meet his boss, Hoyt Vaughn. Hoyt complains about Arthur not returning a sign from Kenny's Music and threatens to deduct the cost from Arthur's paycheck. The scene ends with Arthur smiling back at Hoyt, seemingly unaffected by the confrontation.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and brutality
  • Compelling exploration of resilience and hope
  • Impactful dialogue
  • Strong emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further developed to enhance impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the tension and brutality faced by the protagonist, while also highlighting his unwavering hope and resilience. The dialogue is impactful and the theme of finding joy in the face of adversity is well-executed.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the harsh realities faced by a clown in a society that rejects him is compelling. It delves into themes of resilience, hope, and the power of laughter.

Plot: 9

The plot effectively showcases the challenges and mistreatment faced by Arthur as a clown, while also setting up his desire to bring joy to others. The scene progresses the story by highlighting the conflicts and obstacles Arthur faces.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a boss confronting an employee about a complaint is familiar, the specific details and dialogue add authenticity and freshness. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and true to life.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions effectively convey their personalities and motivations. Arthur's resilience and commitment to bringing joy, despite the brutality he faces, is particularly compelling.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur undergoes a subtle character change in the scene, as he continues to smile and bring joy to others despite the brutal beating he receives. His resilience and commitment to his purpose are further solidified.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a positive relationship with his boss, Hoyt. This reflects his need for acceptance and validation, as well as his fear of being judged or rejected.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to resolve a complaint from Kenny's Music regarding a sign that he allegedly didn't return. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with a dissatisfied client and the potential consequences for his job.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with Arthur facing physical and emotional brutality from the boys, as well as rejection and mistreatment from the people on the bus. The conflict drives the tension and showcases the challenges Arthur faces.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the boss confronts the protagonist about a complaint and threatens to deduct the cost from his paycheck. The audience is unsure how the protagonist will handle the situation.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Arthur faces physical and emotional brutality, rejection, and mistreatment. His commitment to bringing joy to others is at risk, and the scene highlights the challenges he must overcome.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the challenges and mistreatment faced by Arthur, as well as his unwavering commitment to bringing joy to others. It sets up the conflicts and obstacles he will continue to face.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a complaint from Kenny's Music that the protagonist allegedly didn't return a sign. The audience is left wondering how the protagonist will respond and whether there is more to the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking sadness, discomfort, and hope. It effectively conveys the brutality faced by Arthur while also showcasing his unwavering commitment to bringing joy to others.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension, brutality, and hope present in the scene. It showcases the characters' motivations and emotions, while also highlighting the theme of finding joy in the face of adversity.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and his boss, creating tension and curiosity about how the situation will unfold. The dialogue and character dynamics hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged. The dialogue exchanges and pauses create natural beats and allow for the tension to build.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear location and time description, introduces the characters, and progresses through a conversation that reveals conflict and tension.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with Arthur walking into the office, but there is no description of his physical appearance or demeanor. Adding some details about his appearance and body language can help set the tone for the scene.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Hoyt feels a bit flat and lacks depth. It would be beneficial to explore their relationship further and add more subtext to their conversation.
  • The conflict in this scene is not clearly established. While Hoyt mentions a complaint about the missing sign, it doesn't create a strong enough conflict to drive the scene forward.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Hoyt lacks tension and doesn't create a sense of urgency. Adding more stakes or consequences for Arthur can help increase the tension in the scene.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or transition to the next scene. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition or a clear indication of what happens next.
Suggestions
  • Start the scene with a description of Arthur's appearance and body language to set the tone.
  • Add more depth to the dialogue between Arthur and Hoyt by exploring their relationship and adding subtext.
  • Establish a stronger conflict in the scene that drives the conversation and creates tension.
  • Increase the stakes or consequences for Arthur to add urgency to the scene.
  • Provide a smoother transition or a clear indication of what happens next at the end of the scene.



Scene 10 -  Frustration in the Bronx
EXT. BACK ALLEY, OUTSIDE HA-HA'S - DAY

WE'RE AT THE FAR END OF AN ALLEY, about halfway down, catch a
glimpse of Arthur still half-dressed on the other side of a
dumpster. From this vantage, all we can see is him furiously
KICKING and STOMPING on something... or somebody.

We don't hear anything. And we can't make out what it is that
he's so violently beating down.
18.


It could be a cat... a cardboard box... a homeless person...
We don't know.

Arthur just continues unleashing his rage--


INT. CITY BUS (MOVING) - HEADING UPTOWN - LATE DAY

Arthur at the end of his work day, sitting in his spot toward
the back of the bus.

Across the aisle from him, he's innocently watching a young
couple, playfully teasing each other.


EXT. STREETS, THE BRONX - SUNSET

Arthur heading back home down the litter-covered streets like
he does every night. Garbage still piled along the sidewalks,
some burning in trash cans, air still thick with smog.

He's carrying the paper bag that Randall gave him.


EXT. SIDE ALLEY, TENEMENTS - EARLY DUSK

Arthur cuts through the alley, a couple of the young kids are
smoking on the fire-escape.


EXT. STEEP STAIRWAY, TENEMENTS - DUSK

Arthur trudging up the endless staircase, step-after-step-
after-step-after--


INT. LOBBY, APARTMENT BUILDING - DUSK

Arthur checks his mailbox. Empty.


INT. ELEVATOR, APARTMENT BUILDING - DUSK

Arthur is on the elevator, as the door closes, he hears--

SOPHIE (OS)
Wait!!

He puts his foot out with some panache to stop the closing
door-- He's a romantic at heart. Ding.
19.


And SOPHIE (late 20's), African-American, looking harried,
tired eyes, steps onto the elevator with her 5-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER who's holding onto a doll, talking to her mother
about what she wants for her birthday.

Arthur moves to the back of the elevator--

Sophie nods thanks. The doors wheeze shut, pausing for a
moment before they close--

Arthur holds his breath, hoping he doesn't start to laugh.
Elevator rises, halting at first. Floors dinging.

Suddenly the elevator shudders hard, making a loud groaning
sound. Flickering lights cut off, then come back on.

SOPHIE
(shaking her head; to
Arthur)
This building is just so awful,
isn’t it?

Arthur nods yes... he doesn't know what to say. The little
girl just keeps babbling about what she wants for her
birthday.

Sophie can't take it any more, looks over at Arthur and mimes
blowing her head off with her finger--

Arthur's eyes go wide.

The doors open. They all step off.

Sophie grabs her daughter's hand and walks down the hall in
the opposite direction of Arthur.

He just stands there for a beat. Heart beating fast.

ARTHUR
(calls out after her)
Hey--

She turns around.

And Arthur mimes blowing his head off with his finger--

Sophie doesn't know what to say, just forces a strained smile
back at him.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur expresses his frustration by furiously kicking and stomping on something in a back alley. He then observes a young couple on a city bus and walks through the dilapidated streets of The Bronx. Arthur encounters Sophie and her daughter in the elevator of his apartment building, where the lights flicker and the elevator shudders. Sophie expresses her frustration with the building, and Arthur mimics blowing his head off. Sophie and her daughter leave, while Arthur stays behind.
Strengths
  • Compelling emotional impact
  • Strong character development
  • Effective use of humor
Weaknesses
  • Possible reliance on cliches in the portrayal of Arthur as a struggling clown

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines elements of drama and comedy, creating a compelling and emotionally impactful sequence. The dark and tense moments are balanced with moments of humor, resulting in a scene that keeps the audience engaged and invested.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a struggling clown facing adversity and finding solace in laughter is intriguing and unique. It explores themes of resilience, the power of humor, and the struggle to find joy in difficult circumstances.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene follows Arthur as he faces physical and emotional challenges, highlighting his resilience and determination. The sequence of events is well-paced and keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the urban setting and themes of isolation and struggle are familiar, the specific details and interactions between the characters add a fresh perspective. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and evoke empathy from the audience. Arthur's transformation from a beaten clown to a hopeful performer is compelling and drives the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change in the scene, from a beaten and downtrodden clown to a hopeful performer. His resilience and determination are showcased, highlighting his growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find some form of connection or escape from his difficult life. This is reflected in his observance of the young couple on the bus and his interaction with Sophie and her daughter in the elevator.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate his way home and deal with the challenges of his environment, such as the litter-covered streets and the dilapidated apartment building.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both physical and emotional. Arthur faces a brutal beating, encounters discomfort and rejection from others, and struggles with his uncontrollable laughter. These conflicts create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is constantly faced with challenges and obstacles in his environment. The reader is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Arthur faces physical violence, emotional turmoil, and rejection from others. His pursuit of his dreams and his desire to bring joy to the world are at stake.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Arthur's struggles and his journey towards finding his purpose as a performer. It sets up future conflicts and developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected interactions and gestures between the characters. The reader is unsure of how the protagonist will react in each situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's desire for connection and escape and the harsh reality of his environment. This challenges his beliefs and values, as he is constantly faced with the difficulties of his life.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene elicits a strong emotional response from the audience, evoking sadness, hope, and discomfort. The contrast between Arthur's physical and emotional pain and his continued smiling as a clown creates a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. The interactions between Arthur and the other characters, such as the social worker and the woman on the bus, add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a series of visually interesting and emotionally charged moments. The reader is drawn into the protagonist's world and is curious to see how he will navigate his challenges.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and urgency. The quick transitions between locations and the use of visual cues keep the reader engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively transitions between different locations and provides clear visual cues for the reader.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur furiously kicking and stomping on something or someone in a back alley. The description of the scene is vague and lacks clarity. It is not clear what Arthur is attacking and why. This lack of specificity makes it difficult for the reader to fully understand the scene and its significance.
  • The transition from the back alley to the city bus is abrupt and disjointed. There is no clear connection between the two settings, which creates confusion for the reader. It would be helpful to provide a smoother transition or establish a clear link between the two locations.
  • The description of Arthur walking through the streets of The Bronx is generic and lacks detail. It does not effectively convey the atmosphere or setting of the scene. Adding specific details about the sights, sounds, and smells of the Bronx would help to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the reader.
  • The interaction between Arthur and Sophie in the elevator feels forced and lacks authenticity. The dialogue and actions of the characters do not ring true, making it difficult for the reader to connect with them on an emotional level.
  • The scene ends with Arthur mimicking blowing his head off to Sophie. This action feels out of place and does not fit with the tone or context of the scene. It is jarring and undermines the emotional impact of the previous interactions.
Suggestions
  • Provide more specific details about what Arthur is attacking in the back alley and why. This will help to create a clearer and more impactful scene.
  • Establish a stronger connection between the back alley and the city bus. This could be done through a visual or thematic link that ties the two settings together.
  • Enhance the description of the streets of The Bronx to create a more vivid and immersive setting. Use specific details to bring the environment to life and engage the reader's senses.
  • Revise the dialogue and actions of Arthur and Sophie in the elevator to make their interaction more authentic and believable. Focus on creating genuine emotional connections between the characters.
  • Consider ending the scene on a more emotionally resonant note that aligns with the tone and context of the previous interactions. This will help to leave a lasting impression on the reader and build anticipation for the next scene.



Scene 11 -  A Heavy Conversation and a Confrontation
INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, BATHROOM - NIGHT

ARTHUR'S GIVING HIS MOM A BATH, being careful with her as he
shampoos her hair.
20.


He fills an empty plastic container with some bath water.

ARTHUR
Look up.

PENNY
Maybe the mailman's throwing them
away.

She tilts her head back and he rinses her hair with the water
from the container...

ARTHUR
Mom, why are these letters so
important to you? What do you think
he's gonna do?

PENNY
He's gonna help us.

ARTHUR
Help us how?

PENNY
Get us out of here, take me away
from this place and these-- these
people.

ARTHUR
You worked for him over 30 years
ago. What makes you think he would
help us?

Penny looks at him with conviction, water dripping down her
face, into her eyes. She wipes it away with her hands--

PENNY
Because Thomas Wayne is a good man.
If he knew how I was living, if he
saw this place, it would make him
sick. I can't explain it to you any
better than that.

Arthur nods. Annoyed, but not worth the argument.

ARTHUR
I don't want you worrying about
money. Everyone's been telling me
they think my stand-up is ready for
the big clubs. It's just a matter
of time before I get a break.
21.


PENNY
Happy, what makes you think you
could do that?

ARTHUR
What do you mean?

PENNY
I mean, don't you have to be funny
to be a comedian?

Beat.


INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT

Penny is out cold in her bedroom, a half-eaten plate of food
is next to her on the bed.


INT. LIVING ROOM, MOM'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Arthur sits on the couch. The 1937 version of "Shall We
Dance" is playing on the TV. He holds the .38 SNUB-NOSED
REVOLVER Randall gave him in his hand. He's never held a gun
before, looks uncomfortable with it, the weight of it in his
hand...

He stares at it for a moment, then points it at the black &
white movie playing on TV, hand trembling a bit... Points it
at the chair his mother sits on... Points it at his head.

BLAMMMMMMM!

He jumps up off the couch. What the fuck!? He looks around in
a panic. His hands shaking.

He shot a hole in the wall.

PENNY (OS)
(awoken by the shot)
HAPPY!? What was that? Are you
okay?

ARTHUR
What?!

He quickly turns up the TV volume, A GROUP OF MEN WORKING ON
A SHIP SINGING "SLAP THAT BASS" TO FRED ASTAIRE--

PENNY (OS)
THAT NOISE! DID YOU HEAR THAT
NOISE?
22.


ASTAIRE NOW SINGING AND DANCING FOR THE OTHER MEN, Arthur
shouts back to his mother as he shoves the gun under the
couch cushions--

ARTHUR
I'M WATCHING AN OLD WAR MOVIE.

PENNY (OS)
TURN IT DOWN!

He heads for his mother's bedroom.


INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, DOORWAY - CONTINUOUS

Arthur looks in on his mom in her dark bedroom, can make out
the outline of her body sitting up.

PENNY
It's so loud.

ARTHUR
I know. The Americans are really
giving it to the Japs.

He walks over to Penny in the darkness. Kisses her on the
forehead.

ARTHUR
(softly)
I'm sorry. I'll turn it down.


INT. KITCHEN, MOM'S APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT

Arthur is writing in his journal. He speaks softly to himself
as he writes...

ARTHUR
Why didn't Randall tell me the gun
was loaded? I could have killed
someone.
(beat)
I could have killed myself.

CLOSE ON THE LAST LINE, he crosses out "could"...

Writes... "should"

ARTHUR
(still to himself)
I should have killed myself.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR as he crosses out something again...
23.


ARTHUR
(louder to himself)
I should kill myself.

Beat.


EXT. STEEP STAIRWAY, TENEMENTS - MORNING

SOPHIE AND GIGI MAKING THEIR WAY down the steep stairs, on
their way to school. Sophie is dressed more conservatively
than when we've previously seen her.

REVEAL, Arthur watching them from the top of the stairway,
keeping his distance. He starts after them--


EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL - MORNING

Sophie drops GiGi off at school. Arthur's watching them from
a distance.


EXT. ELEVATED SUBWAY PLATFORM - MORNING

Sophie waits on the platform. Lights a cigarette.

We see Arthur, hidden behind a steel support beam-- watching
her from a distance.


EXT. STREET, FINANCIAL DISTRICT - MORNING

Towering buildings crowd the sky. White collar, white
businessmen in suits. Still lots of trash, but it's piled
high, neatly in black bags along the sidewalk.

Arthur's hanging across the street from Gotham First National
Bank as Sophie enters the building. He's just standing there
watching, trying to get the nerve to go inside.

Beat.


INT. GOTHAM COMEDY CLUB, CHINATOWN - NIGHT

Arthur sitting in the middle of a dark, crowded comedy club.
People on dates. Groups of friends. All here to watch the
stand-up. He sits at a small table by himself, watching the
act on stage.

The comic on stage is killing it. The whole room is laughing
and applauding. Everyone except Arthur. He's watching.
Studying. Diligently jotting down notes in his notebook.
24.


EXT. GOTHAM COMEDY CLUB, STREET - CHINATOWN - NIGHT

People are piling out of the club, onto the narrow street,
jumble of lit-up signs, most glowing yellow or red. Arthur
walks out alone, carrying his notebook. He sees a FLYER taped
to the entrance of the club.

CLOSE ON THE FLYER, "Open mic night. Thursdays. 7pm."

He rips the flyer off the wall.


INT. KITCHEN, MOM'S APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT

Arthur is writing in his journal. His mom is dead asleep. He
opens his worn notebook. Flips to a page titled "Jokes" and
starts writing--

CLOSE ON WORDS, as he slowly writes: "The worst part about
having a mental illness is..."

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, pausing, thinking it over for a moment. Then
he laughs to himself when he comes up with something.

CLOSE ON WORDS, coming faster now, "...that people expect you
to behave as if you don't."

He hears knocking on the front door--


INT. FRONT DOOR, MOM'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Arthur opening the door--

Sees Sophie standing there with attitude, leaning up against
the door frame.

SOPHIE
Were you following me today?

ARTHUR
Yeah.

SOPHIE
I thought that was you. I was
hoping you'd come in and rob the
place.

Beat.

ARTHUR
(leans in, quietly)
I have a gun. I could come by
tomorrow.
25.


SOPHIE
(laughing)
You're so funny, Arthur.

ARTHUR
You know, I do stand-up comedy. You
should maybe come see a show
sometime.

SOPHIE
I could do that.

ARTHUR
Yeah?

SOPHIE
You'll let me know when?

ARTHUR
Yeah.

And she just turns and walks away toward her apartment--
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur takes care of his mom and they discuss the significance of the letters she receives. A panicked Arthur accidentally shoots a hole in the wall, leading him to apologize to his mom in her bedroom. Later, Arthur contemplates suicide while writing in his journal. Sophie confronts Arthur about following her, resulting in a brief conversation. The scene ends with Sophie making plans to see Arthur's stand-up comedy show.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Exploration of mental illness
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more concise

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and desperation of Arthur's situation, while also providing insight into his relationship with his mother and his aspirations as a comedian. The dialogue is poignant and the themes of hope and despair are well-developed.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of Arthur taking care of his mother and contemplating suicide adds depth to his character and explores the challenges faced by individuals with mental illness. The introduction of Sophie and the potential for a romantic relationship adds an additional layer of complexity.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur taking care of his mother, reflecting on his stand-up comedy aspirations, and his encounter with Sophie. It provides important character development and sets up future conflicts and relationships.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a struggling comedian and a mother's obsession with a wealthy figure is not entirely unique, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a fresh approach to familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves into Arthur's complex character, showcasing his love for his mother, his struggles with mental illness, and his aspirations as a comedian. The introduction of Sophie adds a potential love interest and further develops Arthur's relationships.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant internal change in the scene, as he contemplates suicide but ultimately decides to continue caring for his mother and pursue his dreams. This sets up a potential character arc for him throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand his mother's obsession with Thomas Wayne and her belief that he will help them. This reflects his deeper need for stability and escape from their current living situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather the courage to go inside the Gotham First National Bank and potentially rob it. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his financial struggles and his desire for a way out of poverty.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Arthur grapples with his mental illness and thoughts of suicide. There is also a potential conflict between Arthur and Sophie's boyfriend, as well as the conflict between Arthur's aspirations and his current circumstances.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces internal conflicts and challenges in his relationships with his mother and Sophie. The audience is unsure of how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are high for Arthur, as he grapples with his mental illness, cares for his mother, and contemplates suicide. The potential for a romantic relationship with Sophie also adds emotional stakes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by further developing Arthur's character, introducing Sophie as a potential love interest, and setting up future conflicts and relationships. It also hints at the challenges and obstacles Arthur will face in his pursuit of a career in comedy.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the possibility of the protagonist robbing a bank, which adds a layer of uncertainty to the story. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will act.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the power of comedy and his mother's belief in the power of Thomas Wayne. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and his belief in his own abilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly sadness and empathy for Arthur's struggles. The portrayal of his love for his mother and his internal turmoil creates a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It explores themes of hope, despair, and the challenges faced by individuals with mental illness. The interactions between Arthur and Sophie are particularly engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it explores the protagonist's internal struggles and builds tension through the use of dialogue and actions. The audience is invested in the outcome of the protagonist's goals.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of introspection and dialogue with action and tension. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of dialogue, action, and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and a progression of actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur giving his mom a bath, which establishes their relationship and Arthur's caretaking role. However, the dialogue between them feels a bit repetitive and doesn't add much new information or depth to their characters.
  • The transition from the bathroom to the living room feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition or a clearer indication of the passage of time.
  • The moment where Arthur accidentally shoots a hole in the wall is a powerful and shocking moment, but it feels slightly disconnected from the rest of the scene. It could be strengthened by further exploring Arthur's emotional state and the impact of his actions.
  • The conversation between Arthur and his mom about the importance of the letters and Thomas Wayne's potential help feels a bit on the nose and could benefit from more subtlety and nuance.
  • The scene ends with Arthur writing in his journal and contemplating suicide, which is a dark and intense moment. However, the transition from the previous conversation to this moment feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • Overall, the scene has some strong moments that showcase Arthur's complex emotions and his relationship with his mother. However, there are areas where the dialogue and transitions could be improved to create a more cohesive and impactful scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth and complexity to the conversation between Arthur and his mom, exploring their conflicting emotions and motivations in a more nuanced way.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different locations and time periods to create a more seamless flow.
  • Further develop the emotional impact of Arthur accidentally shooting a hole in the wall, exploring the consequences and his reaction in more detail.
  • Find ways to convey the importance of the letters and Thomas Wayne's potential help in a more subtle and layered manner.
  • Create a smoother transition from the conversation with his mom to Arthur contemplating suicide, allowing for a more gradual build-up of tension and emotion.



Scene 12 -  From Sad Clown to Performer: Arthur's Transformation
INT. HA-HA'S TALENT BOOKING, LOCKER ROOM - DAY

Arthur is putting on his make-up, using the small mirror in
his locker. Behind him a couple other clowns are eating their
lunch at a small table, not paying Arthur any attention.

Arthur pauses half-finished, and stares at himself for a
beat. Hooks the corners of his mouth down with his index
fingers, turning his mouth into the "tragedy mask" frown--

And then he pulls his fingers up, pulling them up wider and
wider, stretching his smile into a grotesque parody of the
"comedy mask," trying to make himself look happy, pulling his
mouth so wide tears come to his eyes--

PRE-LAP SCRATCHY OLD-TIME FOLK RECORDING OF "If You're Happy
and You Know It"--

"OLD TIME" VOICE (RECORD)
(singing, strumming
guitar)
--if you're happy and you know it
and you really want to show it, if
you're happy and you know it clap
your hands.
26.


INT. GOTHAM GENERAL HOSPITAL - CHILDREN'S WARD - LATE DAY

Arthur lip-syncing and strumming an air guitar along to the
song (like a Dennis Potter musical), for a ward full of sick
children. He's wearing an oversized white lab coat over his
clown costume. A few nurses and doctors watch as well, song
blaring from a small record player--

ARTHUR
(lip-syncing)
If you're happy and you know it,
stomp your feet.

Arthur stomps his feet to the song... All the kids stomping
along with the recording...

ARTHUR
(lip-syncing)
If you're happy and you know it,
stomp your feet.
(stomp, stomp)
If you're happy and you know it and
you really want to show it, if
you're happy and you know it stomp
your feet.

And Arthur stomps harder, trying to make the kids laugh and--

HIS .38 SNUB-NOSED REVOLVER slips out from the bottom of his
pants, sliding across the floor--

ARTHUR STOPS SINGING, EVERYBODY LOOKS AT THE GUN as it
clatters to a stop on the floor. "If You're Happy and You
Know It" still playing on the record player...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur is in the locker room at Ha-Ha's Talent Booking, putting on his make-up. He pauses and stares at himself in the mirror, manipulating his facial expressions to mimic the tragedy and comedy masks. As he does this, an old-time folk recording of 'If You're Happy and You Know It' begins playing. The scene then transitions to Gotham General Hospital's Children's Ward, where Arthur is lip-syncing and strumming an air guitar to the song for a group of sick children. He accidentally drops his revolver on the floor, interrupting the performance. The main conflict in this scene is the internal struggle Arthur faces as he tries to make himself look happy while dealing with his own sadness. The dropping of his revolver creates a moment of tension and fear, but it is not resolved within this scene. The emotional tone of this scene is a mix of sadness, desperation, and a fleeting moment of joy. The significant visual elements include Arthur's transformation of his facial expressions, his lip-syncing and strumming an air guitar, and the dropping of his revolver. The scene ends with the revolver clattering to the floor, interrupting the performance and creating a moment of tension.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Effective combination of tragedy and comedy
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further developed

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines tragedy and comedy, creating a compelling and emotionally impactful sequence. The use of dark humor adds depth to the story and characters. The scene also highlights the struggles of the protagonist and the indifference he faces from society, evoking a strong emotional response from the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a struggling clown who faces physical and emotional abuse while trying to bring joy to others is unique and thought-provoking. It explores themes of mental illness, societal neglect, and the power of laughter as a coping mechanism.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene follows the protagonist's journey from being beaten up by a group of boys to finding solace in his mother's apartment and imagining himself on a talk show. It effectively portrays the challenges and hardships faced by the character, while also providing moments of hope and resilience.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its fresh approach to the portrayal of clowns and the use of humor in a somber setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and evoke empathy from the audience. Arthur's resilience and his mother's unwavering support add depth to their relationship and drive the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur undergoes a significant emotional change throughout the scene. Despite facing physical and emotional abuse, he continues to smile and find joy in his role as a clown. This showcases his resilience and determination to bring happiness to others.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make himself look happy and bring joy to the sick children. This reflects his deeper need for validation, acceptance, and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to entertain the sick children and make them laugh. This reflects the immediate circumstances of being in a children's ward and the challenge of bringing happiness to the children despite his own struggles.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external. Arthur faces physical abuse from the boys, emotional turmoil from his mother's disappointment, and societal rejection. The conflict drives the narrative and adds tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces the challenge of entertaining the sick children while dealing with his own struggles. The audience is unsure of how he will handle the situation and whether he will be able to maintain his clown persona.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Arthur faces physical abuse, emotional turmoil, and societal rejection. His resilience and ability to find joy in the face of adversity make the stakes even higher.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges and hardships faced by the protagonist. It deepens the audience's understanding of Arthur's character and sets up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the protagonist's performance will go and whether he will be able to hide his inner turmoil. The presence of the gun adds an element of suspense and unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the power of laughter and happiness, and the harsh reality of his own struggles and the suffering of the sick children. This challenges his belief in the transformative power of clown performances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, ranging from sadness and empathy to hope and frustration. The portrayal of Arthur's struggles and his unwavering resilience creates a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It includes moments of dark humor, vulnerability, and confrontation, adding depth to the interactions.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a contrast between the protagonist's inner struggles and his external performance. The use of humor and irony creates tension and keeps the audience interested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of introspection and moments of performance. This creates a rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and interested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, and presents a conflict that drives the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur putting on his make-up, which sets the tone for his character as a clown. However, the transition from Arthur staring at himself in the mirror to the pre-lap scratchy old-time folk recording feels abrupt and disjointed. It's not clear how these two elements are connected or what purpose the recording serves in the scene.
  • The lip-syncing and strumming of an air guitar to the song 'If You're Happy and You Know It' in the children's ward feels out of place and tonally inconsistent with the previous moments of Arthur staring at himself and manipulating his facial expressions. It's unclear why Arthur is performing for the children or how it relates to his character or the overall story.
  • The accidental dropping of Arthur's revolver during the performance is a jarring and potentially dangerous moment. It's not clear why Arthur has a gun with him in the first place, and the fact that it falls out without any consequence or reaction from the other characters undermines the tension and realism of the scene.
  • The scene lacks clear objectives and conflicts for Arthur. It's not clear what he is trying to achieve or what obstacles he faces. The scene feels disconnected from the larger narrative and doesn't contribute to the development of Arthur's character or the overall story.
  • The dialogue is minimal and doesn't provide much insight into the characters or their motivations. There is a missed opportunity to explore Arthur's thoughts and emotions through meaningful interactions with the other clowns or the children in the ward.
Suggestions
  • Consider reworking the scene to establish a stronger connection between Arthur staring at himself in the mirror and the pre-lap recording. This could be done through visual cues or internal thoughts that reflect Arthur's inner struggle between tragedy and comedy.
  • Reconsider the lip-syncing and strumming of an air guitar to 'If You're Happy and You Know It' in the children's ward. Instead, focus on a more meaningful interaction between Arthur and the children that reveals something about his character or the themes of the story.
  • Provide a clear reason for why Arthur has a gun with him and explore the consequences and reactions of the other characters when it accidentally falls out. This could add tension and raise questions about Arthur's mental state or intentions.
  • Develop clear objectives and conflicts for Arthur in the scene. What does he want to achieve? What obstacles does he face? This will help drive the scene forward and make it more engaging for the audience.
  • Use dialogue to reveal more about the characters and their motivations. Explore meaningful interactions between Arthur and the other clowns or the children in the ward that shed light on his thoughts and emotions.



Scene 13 -  Arthur's Downfall: From Fired Clown to Fugitive
EXT. PHONE BOOTH, GOTHAM GENERAL HOSPITAL - DUSK

Arthur's in a cramped graffiti-covered phone booth on a busy
street corner outside Gotham General, trash piled high. He's
in his street clothes, clown-face still painted on, green wig
still on his head.

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Hoyt, let me explain.

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
Oh, this'll be good. Please tell me
why you brought a gun into a kid's
hospital?
27.


ARTHUR
(into phone)
It was, it was a prop gun. It's
part of my act now.

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
Bullshit. What kinda clown carries
a fucking gun? Besides, Randall
told me you tried to buy a .38 off
him last week.

Arthur's taken aback that Randall would do that to him.

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Randall told you that?

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
He was with me when the call came
in. You're a fuck up, Arthur. And a
liar. You're fired.

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Hoyt, please I love this job--

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
Say it, Arthur.
(beat)
Let me hear you say it.

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Say what?

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
I'm a fuck up and I'm fired.

ARTHUR
(into phone; low)
--I'm a fuck up and I'm fired.

HOYT (OVER PHONE)
Louder.

ARTHUR
(into phone; louder)
I'm a fuck up and I'm fired.

The line goes dead.
28.


INT. SUBWAY (MOVING) - NIGHT

ARTHUR SITTING ON THE SUBWAY CONTEMPLATING WHAT JUST WENT
DOWN, face still painted, his clown gear in a shopping bag on
the seat next to him, green wig on his lap.

Subway car near empty. Arthur's sitting across from a lonely-
looking MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN, there's also a YOUNG WOMAN (late
20's) reading a book at the far end.

Arthur glances at the Middle-Aged Woman, maybe trying to make
a connection, but the woman doesn't even notice him as the
train comes to a stop, her head's somewhere else--

The woman gets off the train, and THREE WALL STREET GUYS get
on. They're loud and obnoxious, clearly drunk. One of them is
eating some french fries out of a greasy McDonald's bag. He
flops down on the bench across from the young woman, and
checks her out. The other two guys start getting into it with
each other--

WALL STREET #1
--I'm telling you, she wanted my
number. We should have just stayed.

The train starts moving again...

WALL STREET #2
You're dreaming, man. She wasn't
interested-- at all.

WALL STREET #1
Are you nuts? Did you see how close
we were dancing!? She was in love,
bro.

He starts dancing a bit with himself, mimicking what he
remembers. Wall Street #2 takes a swig from the brown bag he
is carrying.

WALL STREET #2
She couldn't wait to get away from
you.

Arthur's watching them closely, impressed by their confidence
and easy-going camaraderie.

WALL STREET #1
(to the third guy)
Ryan, am I crazy? Tell him what you
saw.
29.


But the third Wall Street guy isn't paying his friends any
attention. He has his eyes set on the young woman sitting
across from him, reading her book.

WALL STREET #3
(to the girl)
Hey. You want some french fries?

He holds out his McDonald's bag and shakes it to get her
attention. The other two share a look. Arthur watches from
his seat.

WALL STREET #3
Hello? I'm talking to you. You want
some fries?

She looks up and shakes her head, polite smile.

YOUNG WOMAN
No thank you.

The other two guys crack up at this apparent blow-off. The
third Wall Street guy shakes his head, embarrassed, and
starts softly flinging fries at the young woman.

WALL STREET #3
You sure? They're really good.

She just buries her face deeper in her book--

WALL STREET #2
Don't ignore him. He's being nice
to you.

One of the french fries lands in her hair. She looks down
toward Arthur, looking to see if he's going to do something
or say something--

Arthur just sits there nervous. Not sure what to do, or even
if he wants to do anything at all.

AND HE JUST BURSTS OUT LAUGHING. He covers his mouth with his
wig as they continue to harass the woman.

They all look over-- What the fuck is this clown laughing at?

WALL STREET #1
Something funny, asshole?

With their attention diverted, the young woman rushes out
through the door between subway cars, glancing back at Arthur
before she goes--
30.


WALL STREET #3
(shouts after her)
BITCH!

He laughs even harder through his green wig. The Wall Street
guys turn to him sitting by himself at the end of the car--

Arthur sees them staring. Looks down at the ground, hand
still covering his mouth, face turning red. Subway swaying,
lights flickering on and off.

Beat.

One of the guys heads down the car toward Arthur, starts
singing "Send in the Clowns" as he approaches--

WALL STREET #1
(singing)
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here, at last on the ground
You in mid-air
Send in the clowns.

The others crack up and follow after him. The guy plops down
next to Arthur, puts his arm around his shoulder as he sings--

ARTHUR
(shakes his head, stifling
the laughter)
Please. Don't.

WALL STREET #1
(continues singing to him)
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.

Arthur starts to get up-- The lead guy pulls him back down.

WALL STREET #1
Where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.

As he finishes the song, Arthur's laughing fit is coming to
an end. One of the other guys sits down on the other side of
him. He's now sandwiched in between them--

WALL STREET #2
So tell us, buddy. What's so
fucking funny?
31.


ARTHUR
Nothing. I have a condition--

Arthur reaches into his shopping bag to get one of his
"Forgive my laughter" cards, the third guy sees him reaching
and tries to grab the bag from him---

Arthur pulls on it--

ARTHUR
No. It's just my stuff. I don't
have anything.

The guy rips the bag from his hand--

WALL STREET #3
I'll tell you what you have,
asshole.

Arthur gets up from between them to go grab his bag back. The
two guys are cracking up.

WALL STREET #3
You want it back? Here--

Arthur reaches out to grab the bag--

And the guy tosses it over his head to one of his friends.
Keeping it away from Arthur.

Three guys in suits tossing a shopping bag around, playing
'monkey in the middle' with a clown AND WE HEAR the drum roll
opening to BOBBY SHORT singing "Send in the Clowns" Live at
the Café Carlyle.

Arthur keeps trying to catch his bag until suddenly--

WHAP! Out of nowhere one of the guys punches him hard in the
face.

Arthur goes down as if in slow motion. Blood coming from his
nose. He tries to get up, but his feet slip from under him
and he falls back down--

WALL STREET #1
Stay down you freak.

And the third Wall Street guy starts kicking him--

The others join in. Surrounding Arthur on the ground, kicking
him deliberately, sadistically, and the music swells--

BLAM!
32.


Wall Street #1 falls back dead. Blood splattering on the
subway wall behind him--

And we HEAR Bobby Short sing out, picking up from where the
Wall Street Guy left off--

BOBBY SHORT (SINGING)
Just when I'd stopped opening doors
Finally knowin' the one that I
wanted was yours

BLAM! BLAM! Wall Street #2 goes down--

Revealing Arthur on the ground, opening his eyes to see what
he did, blood dripping from his nose, smoking gun in hand--

BOBBY SHORT (SINGING)
Making my entrance again with my
usual flair
Sure of my lines
No one is there

The third guy takes off running for the doors that separate
the cars.

Arthur starts after him, but then stops... turns back to grab
his bag and his wig, his hands shaking from the adrenaline.

The train is coming to a stop.

BOBBY SHORT (SINGING)
Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear...

Arthur grabs the green wig from between the two dead bodies,
blood everywhere, and stuffs it into his shopping bag--

The subway doors wheeze open and Arthur steps halfway off the
train, waiting to see if the third Wall Street guy gets off
in the car ahead of him. Arthur sees him run off--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur, a clown, is fired over the phone for bringing a gun to work. He then rides the subway and witnesses three Wall Street guys harassing a young woman. After the woman leaves, Arthur's laughter draws the attention of the guys, leading to a physical assault. The conflict escalates as Arthur shoots two of the guys in self-defense, turning him into a fugitive. The scene ends with Arthur grabbing his belongings as the subway approaches a stop.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
  • Effective use of conflict
Weaknesses
  • Possible excessive violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, effectively conveying the protagonist's emotional turmoil and the escalating conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the protagonist's transformation and the consequences of his actions, is compelling and engaging.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene, with the protagonist facing the consequences of his actions and descending further into violence, is well-executed and gripping.

Originality: 9

The level of originality in this scene is high. The situation of the protagonist being fired from his job as a clown and then encountering the Wall Street guys on the subway is unique and fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly the protagonist, are well-developed and their actions and dialogue effectively convey their emotions and motivations.

Character Changes: 9

The protagonist undergoes a significant change in this scene, embracing violence and descending further into madness.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his job and salvage his reputation. This reflects his deeper need for stability, acceptance, and validation. He fears being seen as a failure and being rejected by society.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront the Wall Street guys who are harassing the young woman. This reflects the immediate challenge of standing up against injustice and protecting others.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the narrative forward, creating tension and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces challenges from his boss, the Wall Street guys, and his own internal struggles. The audience doesn't know how the conflicts will be resolved, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are high, with the protagonist facing physical danger and the potential loss of his job and reputation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showing the consequences of the protagonist's actions and his descent into violence.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it takes unexpected turns, such as the protagonist being fired and encountering the Wall Street guys on the subway. The audience doesn't know how the confrontation will go and what actions the characters will take.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between chaos and order, as represented by the protagonist's clown persona and the Wall Street guys. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the nature of society and the role of individuals within it.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly through the protagonist's descent into violence and the intense physical and emotional beatings he endures.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and reveals the characters' emotions and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the Wall Street guys, creates tension through dialogue and action, and explores themes of morality and societal issues.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and urgency. The dialogue and action are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged and interested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the conflict, and builds tension through dialogue and action.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur in a phone booth outside Gotham General Hospital, but it is not clear why he is there or what he is doing. The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and lacks context.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Hoyt feels forced and unnatural. The conversation about the gun and Arthur's firing is not given enough depth or explanation.
  • The interaction between Arthur and the Wall Street guys on the subway lacks tension and purpose. It is unclear why Arthur starts laughing and why the Wall Street guys become aggressive towards him.
  • The violence that ensues on the subway feels sudden and out of place. It is not clear why Arthur resorts to shooting the Wall Street guys, and the scene ends abruptly without any resolution or consequences.
  • The use of the song 'Send in the Clowns' feels heavy-handed and on-the-nose. It lacks subtlety and nuance in its connection to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context and motivation for Arthur's actions in the phone booth. Why is he there and what is he trying to accomplish?
  • Develop the dialogue between Arthur and Hoyt to make it more realistic and meaningful. Explore the reasons behind Arthur's firing and his relationship with Hoyt.
  • Reconsider the interaction between Arthur and the Wall Street guys on the subway. Make it more purposeful and meaningful to the overall story.
  • Provide a clearer motivation for Arthur's violent actions on the subway. Show the consequences of his actions and how they impact his character and the story.
  • Find a more subtle and nuanced way to incorporate the song 'Send in the Clowns' into the scene, or consider using a different song that better fits the tone and themes of the story.



Scene 14 -  Arthur's Transformation and Rejection
EXT. SUBWAY PLATFORM - CONTINUOUS

The platform is empty, the Wall Street guy is running toward
the stairs--

Arthur follows, blood still dripping from his nose--

Behind them, the train pulls away--
33.


BOBBY SHORT (SINGING)
I thought that you'd want what I
want.
Sorry, my dear.

The guy makes his way to the stairs, unaware that Arthur is
behind him--

BLAM!

The third guy falls, tumbling down the stairs. Arthur walks
over to the body and empties the chamber-- BLAM! BLAM!

BOBBY SHORT (SINGING)
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns
Don't bother they're here.

BLAM! He's got nothing left.


EXT. ROBINSON PARK SUBWAY STATION - NIGHT

Arthur hauls ass up the stairs, rushing out of the station,
the song still playing--


EXT. STREET, ROBINSON PARK - NIGHT

Bounding past bags of garbage, he leaps over a pile, taking a
turn into a run-down needle park, the lights of garbage fires
flickering in the darkness.


INT. PUBLIC BATHROOM, ROBINSON PARK - NIGHT

Arthur bursts into the small bathroom, out of breath.
Overwhelmed, vibrating with emotions. He leans his forehead
against the door, sweat dripping down his face, and catches
his breath.

Arthur feels all those emotions running through his body, can
feel them all. He sticks his right foot out and starts to
slowly turn, his right arm rising slowly above his head as
his right foot leads, turning like something is awakening
inside of him--

Sweat dripping down his face, "Send in the Clowns" finally
comes to an end. He starts washing the blood and clown make-
up off his sweaty face.

Looks up at his smudged reflection in the dirty mirror, water
dripping, white grease paint running off his face--
34.


Beat.


INT. APARTMENT BUILDING, HALLWAY - NIGHT

ARTHUR FLOATING OUT OF THE ELEVATOR AND DOWN THE HALLWAY AS
IF IN A DREAM, coming up on Sophie's door and knocking--

She opens the door and sees Arthur standing there--

And before Sophie can say anything Arthur leans and kisses
her and--

Sophie kisses him back and pulls him inside her apartment,
closing the door behind them--

CUT TO:


INT. HA-HA'S TALENT BOOKING, LOCKER ROOM - MORNING

Arthur walks into the locker room, sees Randall half-dressed
for work, sitting with Gary, TWO OTHER CLOWNS AND A HANDSOME
"CHIPPENDALES" DANCER around the small table, shooting the
shit, drinking coffee.

They nod hello at Arthur or give him a perfunctory wave, most
of his co-workers think he's a freak.

GARY
Hey Art, I heard what happened--
I'm sorry man.

RANDALL
Yeah, Hoyt did you wrong, buddy.
Doesn't seem fair.

Arthur looks hard at Randall for a moment, just slowly nods,
and continues on to his locker.

He starts to clean it out, stuffing all of his clown gear
into an old brown paper shopping bag. Hears them talking
about him behind his back, about why he got fired, laughing
at him--

HA-HA CLOWN #1 (OS)
Did you really bring a gun to the
kid's hospital, Artie? What the
fuck would you do that for?

Arthur doesn't answer them, just continues emptying his
locker, a bag of balloons, a magic wand, some trick flowers--
35.


CHIPPENDALES
No, I heard he pulled it out and
waved it around like a cowboy.

His co-workers crack up. Arthur answers the guy without
looking back--

ARTHUR
It was a prop gun. And I didn't
pull it out, it fell out.

CHIPPENDALES
So is that part of your new act? If
your dancing doesn't do the trick,
you just gonna shoot yourself?

More laughter.

HA-HA CLOWN #2
I thought your clown was a lover,
Artie, not a fighter,--

Arthur turns and looks at all of them, nods at Randall--

ARTHUR
Why don't you ask Randall about it?
It was his gun.

RANDALL
What? Stop talking outta your ass,
Art!
(to the guys)
I think all his stupid laughing
musta scrambled his brain or
something.

The guys laugh and keep jawing. Arthur doesn't say anything.
Just finishes packing up his bag and closes his locker door--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur follows the Wall Street guy on an empty subway platform and shoots him. He then rushes through a run-down needle park and cleans off the blood and clown makeup in a public bathroom. Arthur goes to Sophie's apartment where they share a kiss. In the locker room at Ha-Ha's Talent Booking, his co-workers mock him. Arthur packs up his clown gear and leaves.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Compelling concept
  • Strong character development
  • Intense conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further developed

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the protagonist's transformation and the harsh realities of his environment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a troubled individual pushed to the breaking point and resorting to violence is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is engaging and propels the story forward, showcasing the protagonist's journey and the challenges he faces.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the settings and themes explored are not entirely unique, the specific situations and character actions provide a fresh approach. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their motivations and conflicts.

Character Changes: 9

The protagonist undergoes a significant transformation, descending into madness and embracing violence.

Internal Goal: 8

Arthur's internal goal in this scene is to find a moment of peace and escape from the chaos and violence he has experienced. It reflects his deeper need for acceptance, love, and a sense of belonging.

External Goal: 7

Arthur's external goal in this scene is to confront his co-workers about the rumors and mockery surrounding his recent firing. It reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with the negative perception of him and asserting his own truth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, creating a sense of tension and danger.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as Arthur faces mockery and dismissal from his co-workers. The audience is unsure of how he will respond and whether he will be able to assert his own truth.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high as the protagonist's actions have severe consequences and his life is in danger.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the protagonist's journey and the consequences of his actions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected moments of violence and emotional vulnerability. The audience is unsure of how Arthur will react to the mockery and whether he will find the peace he seeks.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's belief in his own truth and the mocking and dismissive attitudes of his co-workers. This challenges his values of honesty, authenticity, and the desire for understanding and empathy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, from sadness and anger to fear and hope, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and tensions between the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines moments of action and tension with emotional depth and character development. The reader is drawn into Arthur's journey and invested in his struggles and desires.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of action and tension and moments of introspection and emotional depth. It keeps the reader engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively transitions between different locations and provides clear visual descriptions of the actions and settings.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a sudden shift in tone and action, as Arthur follows the Wall Street guy and shoots him. This abrupt change may be jarring for the audience and could benefit from a smoother transition.
  • The use of the song 'Send in the Clowns' as a backdrop to the violence and Arthur's actions adds an ironic and unsettling element to the scene. However, the connection between the song and the events could be further explored and developed to enhance the thematic resonance.
  • The scene lacks clear motivation for Arthur's actions. While it is established that he is being pursued by the Wall Street guys, the audience may need more context or understanding of Arthur's mindset to fully comprehend his decision to shoot them.
  • The visual description of the scene could be more vivid and detailed, particularly in conveying the atmosphere of the subway platform and the run-down needle park. This would help to immerse the audience in the setting and enhance the tension and danger of the situation.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Arthur washing off the blood and clown makeup in a public bathroom. This sudden conclusion may leave the audience wanting more resolution or closure to the events that have unfolded.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or hesitation for Arthur before he shoots the Wall Street guy. This would provide insight into his thought process and make his actions more understandable to the audience.
  • Explore the connection between the song 'Send in the Clowns' and Arthur's transformation into the Joker. This could be done through visual motifs or symbolic imagery that ties the two together more explicitly.
  • Provide more context or backstory for Arthur's motivations and mindset. This could be achieved through additional dialogue or internal monologue that reveals his thoughts and emotions leading up to the shooting.
  • Enhance the visual description of the scene to create a more immersive and atmospheric setting. Use sensory details and vivid language to bring the subway platform and needle park to life.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or resolution for Arthur after he washes off the blood and clown makeup. This could provide a sense of closure to the scene and give the audience a clearer understanding of Arthur's emotional state.



Scene 15 -  Confrontation in the Stairway
INT. STAIRWAY, HA-HA'S TALENT BOOKING - MORNING

Arthur walks down the stairs, brown shopping bag under his
arm.

Behind him, Randall follows him into the stairway--

RANDALL
Hey, Art, hold up,--

Arthur stops, turns around.
36.


RANDALL
What the hell was that about? Why
would you say that?

ARTHUR
What?

RANDALL
(lowers his voice)
That it was my idea about the gun.
That subway shit's no joke, you
know, they got sketches of clowns
on the front of every newspaper,--

ARTHUR
I don't know what you're talking
about, Randall.

RANDALL
(looks at him)
Right. Okay. I just want to make
sure you got your head on straight.

Arthur just looks back at him and smiles.

ARTHUR
My heads right here.

Randall nods, maybe it's sinking in with Arthur.

RANDALL
Good. I don't even know if you did
it but there's no need to draw any
attention to yourself, y'know? Or
we're both fucked.

ARTHUR
What are you worried about,
Randall? You didn't kill three
assholes on the subway, did you?

RANDALL
Of course I didn't.

ARTHUR
(continuing)
You didn't shoot one point blank in
the head. The other one twice in
the chest, before chasing the third
one down and shooting him three
times in the back, right?

Arthur puts his fingers forming a gun to Randall's head,
stares straight at him--
37.


ARTHUR
(singing)
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?

Then turns and heads down the stairs, keeps singing "Send in
the Clowns"--

ARTHUR
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.
Where are the clowns?
Don't bother, they're here.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur and Randall have a tense conversation in the stairway of Ha-Ha's Talent Booking. Randall questions Arthur about his comments regarding the subway killings, but Arthur denies knowledge. They discuss the killings and Arthur taunts Randall by mimicking shooting him. The conflict remains unresolved as Arthur continues down the stairs singing 'Send in the Clowns.'
Strengths
  • Compelling blend of genres
  • Strong character development
  • Effective use of humor and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further refined

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines elements of drama, comedy, and thriller genres to create a compelling and intense narrative. The dark and tense tone is balanced with moments of humor, creating a unique and engaging atmosphere. The scene also explores themes of mental illness, societal pressures, and the search for identity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a troubled clown navigating a gritty and unforgiving world is intriguing and provides a fresh perspective on the superhero genre. The scene effectively establishes the protagonist's internal struggles and sets up the conflicts that will drive the story forward.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is well-structured and engaging. It introduces the protagonist's journey from a downtrodden clown to a violent vigilante, while also exploring his relationships with other characters. The scene sets up important conflicts and raises questions that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist asserting innocence and maintaining a facade of sanity is familiar, the specific dialogue and actions of the characters add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and complex. Arthur, the protagonist, is a sympathetic and tragic figure, while supporting characters like Randall and Sophie add depth to the narrative. The scene effectively establishes the relationships and dynamics between the characters.

Character Changes: 9

The protagonist undergoes significant changes throughout the scene. He transitions from a laughing clown to a violent vigilante, showcasing his descent into madness. The scene also hints at the protagonist's transformation into the iconic Joker character. These character changes drive the narrative and add depth to the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his innocence and maintain his facade of sanity. It reflects his deeper need for validation and his fear of being exposed as the killer.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to intimidate and assert dominance over Randall. It reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining control and power in their relationship.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflicts, both internal and external. The protagonist's internal struggle with his mental health and identity is juxtaposed with external conflicts, such as the beating he receives from the boys and the confrontation with the Wall Street guys. These conflicts create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as Randall challenges Arthur's actions and beliefs. The audience is unsure of how Arthur will respond and whether he will maintain his facade of sanity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, both for the protagonist and the supporting characters. The protagonist's mental health, his relationships, and his search for identity are at stake. The scene also hints at the potential consequences of his violent actions. The high stakes create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing important conflicts, deepening the protagonist's journey, and introducing key relationships. It raises questions and creates anticipation for future developments. The scene effectively sets up the next stage of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of Arthur's unpredictable behavior and the tension between the characters. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's twisted worldview and Randall's more grounded perspective. Arthur's belief in chaos and his desire to embrace his dark side challenges Randall's belief in order and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from sadness and discomfort to hope and humor. The protagonist's vulnerability and resilience in the face of adversity elicit empathy and create a strong emotional impact. The scene also explores themes of loneliness, isolation, and the search for connection.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. It effectively conveys the tension, humor, and vulnerability present in the scene. Some lines could be further refined to enhance the overall impact.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the tension between the characters, the dark humor, and the unpredictability of Arthur's actions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and building towards the climax of Arthur's confrontation with Randall.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, and dialogue are properly formatted.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and develops the conflict between them.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene feels a bit forced and on-the-nose. The conversation between Arthur and Randall about the subway killings and the gun feels too direct and lacks subtlety. It would be more effective to have their conversation be more nuanced and layered, with their true intentions and feelings hidden beneath the surface.
  • The use of the song 'Send in the Clowns' as Arthur walks down the stairs feels a bit on-the-nose and heavy-handed. It would be more effective to use a more subtle and understated musical cue that reflects Arthur's internal state and adds depth to the scene.
  • The visual elements in this scene are minimal and could be enhanced to create a more visually engaging and dynamic scene. Consider adding more visual details that reflect Arthur's emotional state and the tension between him and Randall.
  • The scene ends abruptly and feels unresolved. It would be beneficial to have a clearer resolution or transition to the next scene to provide a sense of closure and continuity.
  • The overall tone of this scene is a bit inconsistent. It starts off with a serious and tense conversation between Arthur and Randall, but then shifts to a more lighthearted and mocking tone with Arthur singing 'Send in the Clowns'. It would be helpful to establish a consistent tone throughout the scene to create a stronger emotional impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider rewriting the dialogue between Arthur and Randall to add more subtext and depth to their conversation. Allow their true intentions and feelings to be revealed gradually, creating a more nuanced and realistic interaction.
  • Explore different musical cues or sound design elements that can enhance the emotional impact of the scene and reflect Arthur's internal state more effectively.
  • Add more visual details and imagery that reflect Arthur's emotional state and the tension between him and Randall. This can include close-up shots of their faces, subtle body language cues, or visual metaphors that enhance the scene's themes.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or transition at the end of the scene to create a sense of closure and continuity. This can be achieved through a final line of dialogue, a visual cue, or a clear shift in the setting or tone.
  • Establish a consistent tone throughout the scene by carefully balancing the serious and lighthearted moments. This will help create a stronger emotional impact and maintain the audience's engagement.



Scene 16 -  Arthur's Sinister Revelation
INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, KITCHEN - MORNING

CLOSE ON A COUPLE OF PILLS BOTTLES, THEY'RE NEARLY EMPTY NOW.

PENNY (OS)
Happy, look Thomas Wayne is on TV.

ARTHUR
Yes, mother.

Arthur swallows a few of the pills...

PENNY (OS)
They're interviewing him about
those horrible murders on the
subway.

He glances at the TV playing in the living room through the
open wall--

ARTHUR
Why are they talking to him?


INT. MOM'S LIVING ROOM, APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Penny shushes him, she's sitting in her chair, watching one
of those "Good Morning, Gotham" shows.

PENNY
He looks like he gained weight.

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
All three of them worked at Wayne
Investments. They were good,
decent, educated.
38.


A small smirk registers on Arthur's face when photos of the
THREE WALL STREET GUYS come up on the screen.

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
And while I didn't know them
personally, like all Wayne
employees, they were family.

Arthur's mom sits up in her chair--

PENNY
You hear that! I told you. We're
family.

ANGLE ON TELEVISION, footage of GRAFFITI around the city.
"KILL THE RICH" spray painted on a storefront. "F*CK WALL
STREET" written on a subway wall. "RESIST" scrawled across a
billboard.

"GOOD MORNING" HOST (ON TV)
There now seems to be a groundswell
of anti-rich sentiment in the city.
It's almost as if our less
fortunate residents have taken the
side of the killer.

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
Yes and it's a shame. It's one of
the reasons I'm considering a run
for mayor. Gotham has lost its way.

"GOOD MORNING" HOST (ON TV)
Are you announcing your candidacy?

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
(smiles)
No comment.

We hear Penny gasp, excited.

"GOOD MORNING" HOST (ON TV)
What about the eyewitness report of
the suspect being a man in clown
make-up or a clown mask?

A smile starts to creep across Arthur's face--

The camera zooms in closer to Thomas Wayne on the screen--

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
It makes total sense to me. What
kind of coward would do something
that cold-blooded? Someone who
hides behind a mask.
(MORE)
39.

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV) (CONT'D)
Someone who's envious of those more
fortunate than themselves, yet too
scared to show their own face.
(to camera)
And until those kind of people
change for the better, those of us
who've made a good life for
ourselves will always look at those
who haven't as nothing but clowns.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In the kitchen of his mother's apartment, Arthur swallows pills while his mother watches Thomas Wayne being interviewed on TV. The interview discusses the recent subway murders and the victims connected to Wayne Investments. Arthur's mother believes they are family. The TV show also mentions the growing anti-rich sentiment in the city and the suspect being described as a clown. Thomas Wayne expresses his belief that the suspect is a coward hiding behind a mask, which amuses Arthur. The scene ends with Thomas Wayne stating that those who haven't made a good life for themselves are nothing but clowns.
Strengths
  • Reveals crucial information
  • Raises the stakes
  • Strong theme of class struggle
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and sets up a major turning point in the story. It reveals crucial information and raises the stakes for the protagonist.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, connecting the subway murders to Thomas Wayne and introducing the theme of class struggle, is compelling and thought-provoking.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial for the overall story. It reveals important information and sets up a major conflict for the protagonist.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring the divide between the rich and the less fortunate. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and Thomas Wayne, are well-developed and their motivations and conflicts are clearly established.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant change in his perception of Thomas Wayne and his role in society, which sets him on a new path.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand why Thomas Wayne is being interviewed on TV and why people are talking about him. This reflects Arthur's desire to understand his own place in the world and his connection to Thomas Wayne.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to listen to the interview and gather information about the murders on the subway. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges Arthur is facing, as he is intrigued by the connection between Thomas Wayne and the murders.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne, as well as the larger conflict between the rich and the poor, is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is not very strong, as the protagonist's goals are not directly challenged. However, the mention of the suspect being a man in clown makeup or a clown mask introduces a small obstacle and adds to the unpredictability of the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Arthur's perception of the world is shattered and he is driven to take action against the wealthy elite.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up a major conflict for the protagonist.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces new information about the murders on the subway and the connection to Thomas Wayne. The audience is left wondering about the motivations and actions of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the divide between the rich and the less fortunate residents of the city. Thomas Wayne represents the wealthy elite, while Arthur and his mother represent the less fortunate. This challenges Arthur's beliefs and values, as he starts to question the actions and motives of the rich.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly anger and frustration, as the audience sees the injustice and inequality faced by Arthur and others.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne, but could be more impactful and memorable.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a conflict between the protagonist's internal and external goals, as well as a philosophical conflict between the rich and the less fortunate. The dialogue and the tension build up effectively.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building up the tension and intrigue. The dialogue and the actions are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene descriptions.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and well-defined actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur in the kitchen, swallowing pills while his mother watches Thomas Wayne being interviewed on TV. The dialogue between Arthur and his mother feels a bit forced and on-the-nose, with Penny pointing out that Thomas Wayne is on TV and talking about the subway murders. This exposition could be handled more subtly.
  • The scene then cuts to the living room, where Penny is watching a morning show discussing the murders and the growing anti-rich sentiment in the city. The footage of graffiti and the discussion about the suspect being a man in clown makeup or a clown mask foreshadows Arthur's transformation into the Joker. However, the transition between the kitchen and the living room feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Thomas Wayne and the morning show host is a bit heavy-handed, with Wayne expressing his desire to run for mayor and his disdain for those less fortunate. The dialogue could be more nuanced to reflect the complexity of the issues being discussed.
  • The scene ends with Arthur's smile as Wayne talks about someone hiding behind a mask. This moment is meant to be significant, but it feels a bit forced and could be more subtly portrayed.
  • Overall, the scene serves to establish the context of the city's social and political climate, as well as Arthur's growing fascination with the Joker persona. However, the dialogue and transitions could be improved to create a more natural and engaging scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider finding a more subtle way to convey the information about Thomas Wayne and the subway murders, perhaps through visual cues or more nuanced dialogue.
  • Smooth out the transition between the kitchen and the living room to create a more seamless flow.
  • Refine the dialogue between Thomas Wayne and the morning show host to make it more nuanced and reflective of the complex issues being discussed.
  • Find a more organic way to portray Arthur's smile at the mention of someone hiding behind a mask, perhaps through subtle facial expressions or actions.
  • Consider adding more visual elements or actions to enhance the scene and make it more engaging.



Scene 17 -  Funding Cut and Medication Crisis
INT. DEPT. OF HEALTH, OFFICE - DAY

Arthur sits across from the same Social Worker from the
opening scene. Same depressing office. He takes a drag from
his cigarette--

ARTHUR
--I heard this song on the radio
the other day. This guy was singing
that his name was Carnival.
(sings)
"Rise and fall, spin and call, and
my name is Carnival."

SOCIAL WORKER
Arthur--

ARTHUR
Which is crazy because that's my
clown name at work. And until a
little while ago it was like nobody
ever saw me. Even I didn't know if
I really existed.

SOCIAL WORKER
Arthur, I have some bad news for
you.

ARTHUR
You don't listen, do you? I don't
think you ever really hear me. You
just ask the same questions every
week. "How's your job?" "Are you
having any negative thoughts?"
(beat)
All I have are negative thoughts.
But you don't listen anyway. I
said, "for my whole life I didn't
know if I even really existed." But
I do. And people are starting to
notice--
40.


SOCIAL WORKER
They've cut our funding. We're
closing down our offices next week.

He looks around, just noticing some MOVING BOXES stacked
against the wall.

SOCIAL WORKER
The city's cut funding across the
board. Social services is part of
that. This is the last time we'll
be meeting.

Arthur nods, not hating the idea.

ARTHUR
Okay.

SOCIAL WORKER
They don't give a shit about people
like you, Arthur. And, they really
don't really give a shit about
people like me either.

Arthur sits there for a moment. And then it dawns on him--

ARTHUR
How am I supposed to get my
medication now? Who do I talk to?

SOCIAL WORKER
I'm sorry, Arthur.

He just stares at her, taking it all in.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Arthur meets with the Social Worker in the Department of Health office, where he learns that their funding has been cut and the office will be closing down. This means he won't be able to get his medication anymore. The scene is somber and resigned as Arthur expresses his frustration with the Social Worker's lack of understanding. The Social Worker delivers the news of the funding cut and apologizes to Arthur. The scene ends with Arthur realizing the implications of the funding cut and asking the Social Worker how he will get his medication, to which she apologizes.
Strengths
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Effective portrayal of despair
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the bleakness of Arthur's situation and his growing sense of hopelessness. The dialogue is impactful and the conflict is high, creating a strong emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the scene revolves around Arthur's struggle with mental health and the lack of support from society. It effectively portrays the challenges faced by individuals in similar situations.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene focuses on the closure of the social services office and Arthur's realization that he will no longer have access to his medication. It moves the story forward by deepening Arthur's despair and setting up future conflicts.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its exploration of the protagonist's internal and external goals within the context of a failing social services system. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality, as it portrays the harsh realities faced by individuals with mental health issues.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The scene provides insight into Arthur's character and his increasing frustration with the system. His dialogue and actions reflect his desperation and anger.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant change in his outlook and emotions throughout the scene. He starts with a glimmer of hope but ends with a deep sense of despair.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to be heard and understood by the social worker. He wants her to truly listen to him and acknowledge his existence and struggles. This reflects his deeper need for validation, connection, and empathy.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find out how he will get his medication now that the office is closing down. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in terms of accessing the necessary support and resources for his mental health.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as Arthur learns about the closure of the social services office and the loss of his medication. His frustration and anger create a tense atmosphere.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is not extremely strong, as the social worker delivers the news of the office closing down without much resistance. However, the uncertainty of Arthur's future and the lack of support create a sense of opposition and challenge.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Arthur as he learns about the closure of the social services office and the loss of his medication. It intensifies his struggle and sets up future conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening Arthur's despair and setting up future conflicts. It reveals the challenges he will face without access to medication.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the unexpected news of the office closing down, which adds a layer of uncertainty to the protagonist's situation. The audience is left wondering how Arthur will navigate the challenges ahead.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the importance of being heard and understood, and the social worker's acknowledgment of the systemic neglect and indifference towards people like Arthur. This challenges the protagonist's belief in the value of individual experiences and the impact of societal structures.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly feelings of despair and hopelessness. Arthur's desperation and anger are palpable, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is powerful and impactful. It effectively conveys Arthur's emotions and his growing sense of hopelessness. The conversation between Arthur and the social worker is particularly intense.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it captures the audience's attention through the emotional dialogue and the revelation of the office closing down. The protagonist's struggle and the uncertainty of his future create a sense of intrigue and empathy.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension through the dialogue and the revelation of the office closing down. The pauses and beats allow for the emotional impact of the news to sink in.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines in a clear and organized manner. The formatting enhances the readability and understanding of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, presents the conflict, and concludes with a revelation. The dialogue and narrative description flow smoothly, contributing to the overall structure of the scene.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene feels a bit disjointed and lacks a clear focus. It jumps from Arthur talking about a song he heard on the radio to his frustration with the Social Worker to the news of the office closing down. The transitions between these topics could be smoother and more organic.
  • The Social Worker's dialogue feels a bit generic and doesn't provide much depth or insight into Arthur's character or the situation. It would be beneficial to explore their dynamic further and delve into the emotional impact of the office closing down on both characters.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the storytelling. Currently, it relies heavily on dialogue, which can make it feel static and less engaging. Adding visual cues and actions can help to create a more dynamic and visually interesting scene.
  • The emotional stakes of the scene could be heightened by emphasizing Arthur's desperation and fear of not being able to access his medication. This could be achieved through more intense and focused dialogue, as well as physical actions that reflect his emotional state.
  • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and could be expanded upon to provide a stronger emotional impact. It would be beneficial to explore Arthur's reaction to the news of the office closing down in more depth, allowing the audience to fully understand the gravity of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the dialogue to create a more coherent and focused conversation between Arthur and the Social Worker. This will help to establish a clear throughline and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Develop the Social Worker's character further to provide a more nuanced and engaging interaction with Arthur. This can be achieved through dialogue that reveals their own struggles and frustrations, creating a more dynamic and layered scene.
  • Introduce more visual elements to enhance the storytelling and create a more visually engaging scene. This can include actions, gestures, and reactions that reflect the emotions and thoughts of the characters.
  • Heighten the emotional stakes by emphasizing Arthur's desperation and fear of not being able to access his medication. This can be achieved through more intense and focused dialogue, as well as physical actions that reflect his emotional state.
  • Expand upon the ending of the scene to provide a stronger emotional impact. This can be done by exploring Arthur's reaction to the news of the office closing down in more depth, allowing the audience to fully understand the gravity of the situation.



Scene 18 -  Arthur's Awkward Comedy Club Performance
INT. COMEDY CLUB, BACKSTAGE HALLWAY - NIGHT

ARTHUR'S POV, slowly walking down the hall-- as if in slow
motion-- toward a set of stairs leading up to the back of the
stage, spotlight bleeding through the curtain, other wannabe
comics looking at him as he passes--

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, he's changed his hair, it's slicked back
some, not quite as smooth as the Wall Street Guys, sweat
beading on his forehead--

He climbs up the stairs-- always climbing uphill-- and waits
at the edge of the curtain, pulls his worn joke-notebook out
of his back pocket. Glancing into the room he sees it's a
pretty good crowd. Sees Sophie taking a seat in the back.

Wheeling back into the stairway, he catches his breath in the
shadows--
41.


He hears the EMCEE from the stage.

EMCEE (OS)
This next comic describes himself
as a lifelong Gotham resident who
from a young age was always told
that "his purpose in life was to
bring laughter and joy into this
cold, dark world." Ummm. Okay.

He hears the crowd laugh.

EMCEE (OS)
Please help me welcome Arthur
Fleck!

There is a smattering of applause.


INT. STAGE, COMEDY CLUB - CONTINUOUS

ARTHUR STEPPING ON STAGE, out under the spotlight, lifts the
microphone in front of his mouth, the light so bright he
can't see faces in the dark audience, his hand trembling
holding onto his worn notebook--

He takes a deep breath, looks out at the dark crowd, and
opens his mouth.

AND STARTS TO LAUGH. His eyes go wide. God no, not now. A
terrified look comes to his face under the laughter. He just
keeps laughing. The crowd is just staring back at him.

Finally he composes himself--

ARTHUR
(trying to stop himself
from laughing)
-- good evening, hello.
(deep breath; trying to
stop laughing)
Good to be here.
(keeps cracking up)
I, I hated school as a kid. But my
mother would always say,--
(bad imitation of his mom,
still laughing)
"You should enjoy it. One day
you'll have to work for a living."
(laughs)
"No I won't, Ma. I'm gonna be a
comedian!"
42.


Arthur keeps cracking up. Hard to hear anything or anybody
else. He goes through his notebook trying to find another
joke--

ARTHUR
(reading verbatim)
It's funny, I was thinking the
other day,-- Why are rich people so
confused by the poor people?
(silently counting to
three)
Because they don't make any sense!

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, looking out into the audience, sees Sophie
sitting in the back laughing--

The MUSIC SWELLS...

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Arthur, with changed hair and looking nervous, walks down a hallway towards the stage of a comedy club. He sees Sophie in the audience. On stage, Arthur starts laughing uncontrollably but tries to compose himself and tells a joke. Sophie laughs in the audience, creating a tense and awkward moment. The scene ends with Sophie laughing as the music swells.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of internal conflict
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively portrays the internal conflict of the protagonist and creates a sense of empathy and tension. The use of humor and tragedy adds depth to the story and engages the audience emotionally.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a struggling comedian facing personal challenges and trying to find his place in the world is compelling and relatable. The scene effectively captures the essence of Arthur's character and his journey.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's attempt to perform stand-up comedy and his struggle with uncontrollable laughter. It adds to the overall narrative by showcasing Arthur's internal conflicts and his desire to bring joy to others.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a comedy club and a comedian facing stage fright is a familiar situation, the specific details and the protagonist's internal journey add authenticity and freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the character's actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene provides insight into Arthur's character, his insecurities, and his desire to make people laugh. It also introduces Sophie, who becomes a significant character in Arthur's life. The interactions between the characters are engaging and contribute to the emotional depth of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant change in this scene as he confronts his uncontrollable laughter and attempts to perform stand-up comedy. His interactions with Sophie also hint at a potential romantic relationship, adding further complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to perform well and make the audience laugh. This reflects his deeper need for validation, recognition, and acceptance. It also reflects his fear of failure and rejection.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to deliver a successful comedy routine. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of performing in front of an audience and proving himself as a comedian.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Arthur battles with his uncontrollable laughter and personal insecurities. The tension is heightened by the contrast between Arthur's struggles and the audience's perception of him.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. The protagonist faces the challenge of stage fright and the pressure to make the audience laugh. The audience's reaction of staring back at him adds to the opposition and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively high for Arthur, as his performance as a comedian and his desire to bring joy to others are at risk. The scene also hints at potential consequences for his actions and relationships.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into Arthur's character and sets up future conflicts and relationships. It deepens the audience's understanding of the protagonist and moves the story forward by introducing important plot elements.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the protagonist's performance will go. The unexpected laughter and the protagonist's struggle to control it add an element of surprise and uncertainty.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, humor, and hope. The audience is emotionally invested in Arthur's journey and feels a sense of empathy towards his struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys Arthur's struggle with laughter and his attempts at humor. It also establishes the dynamic between Arthur and Sophie. The dialogue is realistic and adds depth to the characters.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it captures the audience's attention with the protagonist's internal struggle and vulnerability. The tension and anticipation created by the comedy club setting and the protagonist's performance keep the audience invested in the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building up tension and anticipation. The slow motion depiction of the protagonist walking down the hallway and climbing the stairs, followed by the sudden laughter and his struggle to control it, creates a rhythm that engages the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions. The formatting enhances readability and understanding of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with the protagonist's entrance into the comedy club backstage hallway, builds up to his performance on stage, and ends with a comedic punchline. The pacing and progression of events are well-executed.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur walking down the hallway towards the stage, but there is no clear motivation or objective for him being there. It would be helpful to establish why he is going on stage and what he hopes to achieve.
  • The transition from Arthur walking down the hallway to him climbing up the stairs and waiting at the edge of the curtain feels abrupt and disjointed. It would be beneficial to smooth out this transition and provide a clearer sense of time and space.
  • When Arthur steps on stage, he starts laughing uncontrollably, which seems out of place and confusing for both the audience and the character. It would be more effective to establish a clear reason for his laughter and how it relates to his character and the scene.
  • The jokes that Arthur attempts to tell on stage are not particularly funny or engaging. It would be beneficial to work on the comedic timing and content of the jokes to make them more impactful and entertaining.
  • The scene ends with Arthur seeing Sophie in the audience and the music swelling, but there is no clear resolution or conclusion to the scene. It would be helpful to provide a stronger sense of closure or a clear next step for the character.
Suggestions
  • Establish a clear objective for Arthur going on stage, such as wanting to prove himself as a comedian or seeking validation from the audience.
  • Smooth out the transition from Arthur walking down the hallway to him climbing up the stairs and waiting at the edge of the curtain, providing a clearer sense of time and space.
  • Clarify the reason for Arthur's uncontrollable laughter on stage, tying it to his character and the scene in a more meaningful way.
  • Improve the comedic timing and content of the jokes Arthur attempts to tell on stage, making them more engaging and entertaining for the audience.
  • Provide a stronger sense of closure or a clear next step for the character at the end of the scene, giving the audience a sense of resolution or anticipation for what comes next.



Scene 19 -  Discovering a Secret
EXT. COMEDY CLUB, CHINATOWN STREET - NIGHT

Arthur and Sophie walking out of the club after the show.

They walk past a newsstand-- a wall of Chinese language
newspapers mixed with local papers and tabloids, screaming
headlines about the three Wall Street Guys gunned down on the
train.

Arthur stops and stares at the headlines--

CLOSE ON HEADLINES, "Subway Vigilante"... "Yuppie Slaughter"
"Killer Clown On The Loose?"...

SOPHIE (OS)
(re: the headlines)
You believe that shit?
(beat)
I'll bet you five bucks those rich
assholes deserved it.

He turns to her.

ARTHUR
You think?

SOPHIE
Look at their faces. Those smug
smiles. I've seen that look. Fuck
them.

Sophie flicks her cigarette away and starts walking.
43.


SOPHIE
The guy who did it is a hero. Three
less pricks in Gotham City. Woo-
hoo! Only a million more to go.

Arthur watches her walk for a beat. She looks great, even in
front of the mounds of garbage bags that line the sidewalk.

A CAB rolls past. In the backseat, someone wearing a CLOWN
MASK stares back at Arthur. Holding his look for a moment.


INT. DONUT SHOP, BOOTH - NIGHT

A run-down donut shop.

Through the window we see Arthur and Sophie sitting across
from each other in a molded plastic booth. Bathed in ugly
fluorescent light, a few other patrons scattered about.

We don't hear what they're saying, but they look happy-- and
Sophie is laughing. Hard.

Arthur stares at her, this may be the best night of his
entire life.


INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Arthur opening the door to his mother's apartment, holding a
box of donuts in his hand, sees the flickering blue light of
the TV on in the living room, hears the end of "LIVE WITH
MURRAY FRANKLIN!" He locks the locks, drawing the security
chain high on the door.

TURNS TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF HIS MOTHER PASSED OUT in the
living room.

Arthur sets the box of donuts down and puts his face up
against his mom's nose, to see if she's breathing or if she's
dead--

ON THE TELEVISION Murray does his signature sign off, the one
he's been doing for years--

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
(looking into camera)
Good night! And always remember,--
That's life.

He gently shakes her awake. Sweeping her up out of the chair
as he hears Ellis Drane and his Jazz Orchestra close the show
with an upbeat instrumental version of Frank Sinatra's
"That's Life"...
44.


MOM
(half-asleep)
Happy, I wrote a new letter.

ARTHUR
(grabs her hand)
C'mon, Ma, dance with me a little.

Arthur pulls his mother in close and starts dancing with her
to the music, the only light coming from the television...

MOM
For Thomas Wayne. It's important.

She looks at him and smiles, dances with him a little...
"That's Life" still playing from TV...

MOM
You smell like cologne.

ARTHUR
Cause I just had a big date.

MOM
(laughing)
I'm going to bed. Just don't forget
to mail it.

She breaks away and walks toward her bedroom.

Arthur can't help but smile to himself as he takes off his
jacket and throws it on the chair. He continues to slow dance
with himself for a moment-- He notices the envelope on the
table, addressed to Thomas Wayne.

He stares at it for a beat. Cranes his neck toward his
mother's bedroom, listening if she's still awake. And then--

Quietly rips it open, starts to read the letter:

CLOSE ON WORDS, "Dearest Thomas, I don't know where else to
turn..."

"We need your help..."

"Your son and I need help"

Stops reading, stays on--

"Your son"

He glances up at his mother's room, then back down at the
words, "Your son"
45.


ARTHUR STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM staring at
those two words like he's too afraid to move, lit up by the
flickering blue light--

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur and Sophie leave a comedy club and pass a newsstand with headlines about the Wall Street Guys. Sophie expresses her belief that the rich guys deserved to be killed. They go to a run-down donut shop where they appear happy. Arthur returns to his mother's apartment and finds her passed out. He wakes her up and they dance together. Arthur finds a letter addressed to Thomas Wayne and secretly reads it, discovering that he may be Thomas Wayne's son.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character development
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged. It effectively conveys the dark and intense tone of the film, while also providing important plot developments and character insights.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a vigilante clown in a gritty and realistic setting is unique and intriguing. It adds depth to the character of Arthur and explores themes of social inequality and mental illness.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's growing involvement in the subway killings and his relationship with Sophie and his mother. It moves the story forward and sets up important conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a vigilante taking action against rich assholes is not entirely unique, the specific details and character interactions bring freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene provides significant development for Arthur, Sophie, and Arthur's mother. It explores their relationships, motivations, and internal struggles, adding depth and complexity to the characters.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes significant changes in the scene. He becomes more involved in the subway killings and starts to embrace his alter ego as the Joker. His relationships with Sophie and his mother also evolve.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand and question the actions of the Wall Street Guys and their perceived deserving of their fate. This reflects his deeper need for justice and his desire to challenge the societal norms.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a good time with Sophie and enjoy the night. It reflects the immediate circumstances of being out of the comedy club and their relationship.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene contains both internal and external conflicts. Arthur is torn between his desire for revenge and his moral compass. The public's reaction to the subway killings adds external conflict and tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist's beliefs are challenged by Sophie's perspective. The audience is left uncertain about how the protagonist will respond to this opposition.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Arthur becomes more entangled in the subway killings and faces the consequences of his actions. The public's reaction and the potential danger he poses add to the tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing important plot developments, conflicts, and character arcs. It sets up future events and establishes the foundation for the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the presence of a clown mask-wearing person in a cab, which adds an element of mystery and tension to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between the protagonist's belief in the actions of the subway vigilante as heroic and Sophie's belief that the rich assholes deserved their fate. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about justice and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotional, evoking empathy and sympathy for Arthur and his struggles. It elicits a strong emotional response from the audience, creating a powerful connection to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It is realistic and impactful, contributing to the overall tone and themes of the film.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces conflicts and raises questions about justice and morality. The dialogue between the characters is sharp and thought-provoking.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of tension and moments of emotional connection. It keeps the audience engaged and interested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the setting, establishes the characters' goals and conflicts, and ends with a revelation that propels the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur and Sophie walking out of the comedy club, but it is not clear why they were at the club or what happened during the show. This lack of context makes it difficult for the audience to fully understand the significance of their conversation.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Sophie about the Wall Street Guys feels forced and lacks depth. It seems like a missed opportunity to explore their perspectives on the social and economic issues in Gotham City.
  • The transition from the newsstand to the donut shop is abrupt and doesn't flow smoothly. It would be helpful to have a clearer connection between the two locations.
  • The scene in the donut shop lacks tension and conflict. It feels like a moment of happiness for Arthur and Sophie, but it doesn't contribute much to the overall story or character development.
  • The scene in Arthur's mother's apartment is more emotionally charged, but it is unclear why Arthur is so happy and why he is dancing with his mother. The significance of the letter addressed to Thomas Wayne is also not fully explored.
  • Overall, this scene lacks a clear purpose and doesn't advance the plot or character arcs in a meaningful way.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context for why Arthur and Sophie were at the comedy club and what happened during the show. This will help the audience understand the significance of their conversation.
  • Develop the dialogue between Arthur and Sophie about the Wall Street Guys to explore their perspectives on the social and economic issues in Gotham City. This will add depth to their characters and create more tension in the scene.
  • Improve the transition from the newsstand to the donut shop by establishing a clearer connection between the two locations. This will create a smoother flow between the scenes.
  • Add more conflict and tension to the scene in the donut shop to make it more engaging and meaningful. This could involve exploring the characters' conflicting views on the Wall Street Guys or introducing a new conflict that drives the scene forward.
  • Provide more clarity and depth to the scene in Arthur's mother's apartment. Explain why Arthur is so happy and why he is dancing with his mother. Explore the significance of the letter addressed to Thomas Wayne and its impact on Arthur's character.
  • Ensure that each scene has a clear purpose and contributes to the overall plot and character development. Cut or revise scenes that do not serve a meaningful purpose.



Scene 20 -  The Revelation
INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - EARLY MORNING

ARTHUR'S SITTING IN A CHAIR in his mother's room watching her
sleep. He has clearly been up all night. Still wearing the
same clothes.

He's holding her letter in his hand as the sun is just
starting to rise outside the windows, light just beginning to
crack the gloom.

Arthur impatiently sits there for another moment waiting for
his mother to wake up, then suddenly--

SHRIEKS OUT AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS like a teapot, kicking
his back on the chair like an excited toddler--

Penny wakes with a start, looking around half asleep and
confused--

PENNY
--what, what time is it?

He doesn't answer.

PENNY
What happened? Did you hurt
yourself again?

Arthur holds her letter up in his hand.

ARTHUR
What is this? How come you never
told me?

PENNY
Is, is that my letter? Is that my
personal letter, Happy?
(angry)
You have no right opening my mail.
Who do you think you are?!

ARTHUR
(raising his voice;
excited)
Apparently I'm Thomas Wayne's son!
How could you keep that from me?
46.


Penny slowly getting up out of bed.

PENNY
Stop yelling at me, you're gonna
kill me, give me a heart attack!

She goes into the bathroom.

ARTHUR
(shouts after her)
I'm not yelling! I'm just, excited.
How can any of this be real!?

PENNY (OS)
(shouts back from behind
the door)
I'm not talking to you until you
calm down.

Arthur paces for a minute, now goes to the bathroom door.
Talks to his mother from the behind the closed door.

ARTHUR
(lowers his voice; trying
to sound calm)
Okay. How's this, Mom? Better? Will
you please talk to me?

Arthur leans in closer to the door. Leaning against it with
just his head--

ARTHUR
Please.

PENNY (OS)
He's an extraordinary man, Arthur.
A powerful man. We had a
connection. I was so beautiful
then. We were in love.

Arthur just leans there, listening. He closes his eyes, it's
all too much.

PENNY (OS)
He said it was best that we not be
together, because of appearances.
You know, not all love stories have
happy endings.
(hear her crying now)
(MORE)
47.

PENNY (OS) (CONT'D)
And, I could never tell anyone
because, well, I signed some
papers, and besides you can imagine
what people would say about Thomas
and me, and, and what they would
say about you.

ARTHUR
(eyes still closed, head
leaning against the door)
What? What would they say, Ma?

PENNY (OS)
That I was a whore, and Thomas
Wayne was a fornicator, and that
you're a little, unwanted bastard.

AND THE BATHROOM DOOR SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN, and Arthur falls
face first into the bathroom--

Just missing his mother, crashing down onto the floor--

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur confronts his mother, Penny, about not telling him that he is Thomas Wayne's son. Penny explains her past relationship with Thomas Wayne and the potential consequences of their connection being known. The scene ends with Arthur falling face first into the bathroom and crashing onto the floor.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Revealing character backstory
  • Strong performances
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, with a major plot twist that changes the course of the story. The dialogue and performances are strong, and the scene effectively builds tension and reveals important character information.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true parentage adds depth and complexity to his character arc. It raises questions about identity, family, and the impact of secrets.

Plot: 9

The plot takes a significant turn with the revelation of Arthur's parentage. It adds a new layer of conflict and motivation for the character.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character discovering a hidden truth about their parentage is not entirely unique, the specific dynamics and emotions portrayed in this scene feel authentic. The characters' actions and dialogue reflect the complexity of their relationship.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves into Arthur's complex emotions and reveals his vulnerability. It also deepens the relationship between Arthur and his mother.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant emotional transformation in this scene as he grapples with the shock of his parentage. It sets him on a new path and changes his perspective.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his mother about the letter and understand the truth about his parentage. This reflects his deeper need for identity and belonging, as well as his fear of being unwanted and insignificant.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get his mother to talk to him and reveal the truth about his parentage. This reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming his mother's resistance and anger.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from Arthur's anger and confusion about his mother's secret. It creates tension and emotional turmoil.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces resistance and anger from his mother. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold and whether the protagonist will achieve his goal.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high for Arthur as he confronts the truth about his parentage and grapples with the emotional impact. It has the potential to change his entire life.

Story Forward: 9

The revelation of Arthur's parentage propels the story forward and sets up new conflicts and motivations for the character.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the protagonist's mother will react to his accusations and revelations. The tension and conflict keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire for the truth and his mother's desire to protect him from the consequences of that truth. This challenges the protagonist's belief in the importance of honesty and his mother's belief in the importance of appearances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotional, with Arthur experiencing a range of intense emotions upon learning the truth about his parentage. It is a pivotal moment in his character arc.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the shock and anger of the characters. It also reveals important backstory and emotional depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a dramatic confrontation between the protagonist and his mother. The emotional intensity and the revelation of the hidden truth create suspense and captivate the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and eager to know what will happen next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting and the characters' actions, followed by dialogue that reveals important information and advances the plot.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur sitting in a chair in his mother's bedroom, watching her sleep. This creates a sense of intimacy and vulnerability, as Arthur is observing his mother in a private moment. However, the action of Arthur shrieking and kicking his back on the chair feels out of place and jarring. It doesn't seem to fit with the tone of the scene and the emotional state of the characters.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and his mother is filled with tension and anger. While this can be effective in conveying the conflict between them, it feels somewhat forced and unnatural. The dialogue could benefit from more subtlety and nuance, allowing the emotions to come through in a more organic way.
  • The revelation that Arthur may be Thomas Wayne's son is a significant plot point, but it feels somewhat rushed and underdeveloped in this scene. The impact of this revelation could be heightened by giving it more space to breathe and allowing the characters to fully process the implications.
  • The transition from Arthur pacing to him going to the bathroom door and talking to his mother feels abrupt and disjointed. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition between these two moments to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The scene ends with Arthur falling face first into the bathroom, which feels like a sudden and unexpected conclusion. It would be beneficial to have a more deliberate and purposeful ending to the scene, perhaps with a moment of reflection or realization for Arthur.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the action of Arthur shrieking and kicking his back on the chair to better align with the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue between Arthur and his mother to make it feel more natural and nuanced.
  • Give the revelation of Arthur potentially being Thomas Wayne's son more space and development in the scene.
  • Smooth out the transition between Arthur pacing and him going to the bathroom door to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • Craft a more deliberate and purposeful ending to the scene, allowing for a moment of reflection or realization for Arthur.



Scene 21 -  Arthur Confronts Alfred at Wayne Manor
INT. METRO TRAIN (MOVING) - COUNTRYSIDE, OUTSIDE GOTHAM -
AFTERNOON

PUSHING PAST ROWS AND ROWS OF WHITE BUSINESSMEN, many of them
reading one of Gotham's two tabloids. On the cover of one, a
detailed sketch of Arthur's clown face, headlined, "KILLER
CLOWN STILL ON THE LOOSE!"... The other cover screams, "KILL
THE RICH -- A NEW MOVEMENT?"...

WE PUSH PAST A "KILLER CLOWN" SKETCH, settle in on Arthur
reading the tabloid.

REVERSE ANGLE BEHIND ARTHUR, see the headline "Thomas Wayne
Announces Run -- Response to Troubled Times", over campaign-
style photograph of Thomas Wayne waving to a crowd standing
next to his wife, MARTHA (50's), a well-preserved former
model, and a glimpse of their son, BRUCE WAYNE (10), hiding
behind his father. Only catch half of his face looking
straight into camera, eyes wide, scared by the crowd.

SUB-HEADLINE READS, "Protest Planned at Wayne Hall Gala."

Arthur stares at the family photo.

CLOSE ON WAYNE FAMILY PHOTO, Arthur's fingers ripping it out
of the paper--
48.


EXT. WAYNE MANOR, FRONT LAWN - SUNSET

Arthur walks down a small hill alongside an intimidating
brick wall, surrounding the estate like a prison. From this
angle he's able to peer over the wall, catching a glimpse of
an innocent looking TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY tracking him from behind
the trees, hiding as he follows.

Arthur comes to the front. A giant, wrought iron gate. We see
a long driveway that leads to the big house, surrounded by
beautiful trees and plush, green grounds.

Arthur stops.

He sees the boy approach, but not get too close.

Arthur reaches into his pocket and pulls out a magic wand--

He holds it up for the boy to see.

The boy steps up to get a closer look.

Arthur looks over the wand, pretending like he's trying to
figure out what it does. He waves the wand over the front
gate lock to "try and see" if it will open-- It doesn't.

The little boy tentatively walks toward the fence, face like
an angel.

Arthur waits until he gets closer and then reaches his hand
through the fence and hands the kid his magic wand so he can
try and figure out what it does--

The boy takes the wand and it goes limp in his hand before he
can wave it-- He looks at it, confused. He hands it back to
Arthur.

Arthur straightens the wand back out, and reaches in through
the fence again so the kid can give it another try.

And again the wand droops in the boy's hand. Disappointed, he
gives it back to Arthur--

Arthur examines the wand as if its "broken", stiffens it one
last time, crouches down lower, and...

Ta-da! A bouquet of flowers bursts out the end of the wand--

Arthur hands the boy the wand bouquet of flowers--

The little boy takes the flowers. Keeps staring at Arthur,
not sure what to do or say. Not smiling.

Arthur looks back at him for a moment.
49.


THEN REACHES BOTH HANDS THROUGH THE GATE and firmly takes the
little boy's face in his hands--

Uses his thumbs to hook the corners of the boy's mouth and
pulls them up into a smile, into a "comedy mask"--

The boy is okay with it, puts his hands on top of Arthur's
hands. They look at each other for a beat.

ALFRED (OS)
(shouting)
Bruce!

Arthur lets go. The boy is now smiling on his own--

ALFRED (OS)
Bruce! What are you doing? Get away
from that man.

Little Bruce stops smiling, steps back from the gate.

Arthur looks up and sees a tired-looking, ALFRED PENNYWORTH
(50's) bounding toward them.

Arthur stands back up.

ALFRED
(still shouting)
What are you doing? Who are you?

Bruce runs behind Alfred, hiding behind his legs.

ARTHUR
I'm here to see Mr. Wayne--

ALFRED
(interrupting)
You shouldn't be talking to his
son. Why did you give him those
flowers?

Alfred takes the flower-wand away from the kid--

ARTHUR
I, I was just trying to make him
smile.

He hands it back to Arthur.

ALFRED
Well it's not funny. Do I need to
call the police?
50.


ARTHUR
No, please. My mother's name is
Penny Fleck. She used to work here,
years ago. Can you tell Mr. Wayne
that I need to see him?

ALFRED
(color drains from his
face; beat)
You're her son?

ARTHUR
Did you know her?

Alfred doesn't say anything.

Arthur puts his face right up against the bars, whispers so
the boy can't hear him--

ARTHUR
I know about the two of them. My
mother told me everything.

ALFRED
There's nothing to know. There is
no "them". Your mother was, was
delusional. She was a sick woman.

ARTHUR
No. No, just let me speak to Mr.
Wayne.

Now Alfred leans in closer to Arthur, almost looks like he
feels some pity for him--

ALFRED
Please just go, before you make a
fool of yourself.

Beat.

ARTHUR
(blurts out)
Thomas Wayne is my father--

Alfred looks at Arthur, and can't help but crack up laughing
at him.

AND ARTHUR REACHES HIS HANDS THROUGH THE BARS AGAIN AND GRABS
HIM. Pulls Alfred in close, trying to choke him, still
holding the wand of flowers in one hand--

AS HE CHOKES ALFRED, Arthur sees little Bruce, wide-eyed in
the shadows, looking out at him in horror.
51.


Arthur stops.

Lets go of Alfred... Takes off running back down the street
away from Wayne Manor, magic wand in hand.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur reads a tabloid on a metro train and sees a sketch of his clown face on the cover. He learns about Thomas Wayne's run for office and a protest planned at Wayne Hall Gala. Arthur goes to Wayne Manor and interacts with young Bruce Wayne, giving him a magic wand that turns into flowers. Alfred confronts Arthur and denies him access to Mr. Wayne. Arthur reveals his belief that Thomas Wayne is his father, causing Alfred to laugh. In a fit of rage, Arthur tries to choke Alfred but stops when he sees Bruce's horrified reaction. The scene ends with Arthur fleeing Wayne Manor with the magic wand.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Revealing a major plot point
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively builds tension and introduces a major plot point with Arthur discovering his connection to the Wayne family. The stakes are raised as Arthur's actions become more desperate and dangerous.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true parentage and the potential implications of this revelation is intriguing and adds depth to the story.

Plot: 9

The plot progresses significantly in this scene with Arthur's discovery and the escalating tension between him and Alfred. The scene sets up future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring the protagonist's identity and the clash between social classes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward. Arthur's desperation and anger are palpable, while Alfred's initial skepticism and eventual shock add depth to their dynamic.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant change in this scene as he confronts Alfred and learns the truth about his parentage. This revelation fuels his anger and desperation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront Thomas Wayne and assert his identity as his son. This reflects his deeper need for recognition, validation, and a sense of belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gain access to Wayne Manor and speak to Mr. Wayne. This reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming the physical barrier and the opposition from Alfred.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and Alfred is intense and escalates throughout the scene. The revelation of Arthur's parentage adds another layer of conflict and raises the stakes.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist faces physical barriers, the denial of his identity, and the threat of police involvement. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Arthur's discovery of his connection to the Wayne family puts him on a dangerous path. The potential consequences of his actions are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing a major plot point and raising the stakes for Arthur. It sets up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it takes unexpected turns, such as the protagonist choking Alfred, which adds to the tension and keeps the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's belief in his identity as Thomas Wayne's son and Alfred's denial of this truth. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs, values, and worldview, as he is confronted with the possibility that his mother was delusional.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly in Arthur's desperation and anger. The tension and conflict create a sense of unease and anticipation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. The confrontation between Arthur and Alfred is tense and impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes confrontation, explores the protagonist's identity and desires, and creates tension through the interaction between characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension through the protagonist's actions and the reactions of the other characters. The rhythm of the scene adds to the emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, concise action lines, and dialogue properly formatted.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by effectively establishing the setting, introducing the characters, and building tension through dialogue and actions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur on a metro train, reading a tabloid with a sketch of his clown face on the cover. This is a good way to establish the current state of the city and the public's perception of Arthur as the 'Killer Clown'. However, the scene could benefit from more context and build-up to this moment. It feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous scenes.
  • The introduction of Thomas Wayne and the protest planned at Wayne Hall Gala adds an interesting layer to the story, but it feels rushed and underdeveloped. There is not enough time spent on exploring the significance of this information and how it affects Arthur.
  • The interaction between Arthur and the young boy at Wayne Manor is a nice moment that shows Arthur's desire to bring joy to others. However, the scene lacks depth and emotional impact. It could benefit from more dialogue and interaction between the characters to establish a stronger connection.
  • The confrontation between Arthur and Alfred at the gate of Wayne Manor is a pivotal moment in the scene. However, the dialogue and actions feel rushed and lack nuance. The revelation that Arthur believes Thomas Wayne is his father is a significant plot point, but it is not given enough time to fully resonate.
  • The scene ends with Arthur attempting to choke Alfred and being witnessed by young Bruce Wayne. This is a powerful moment that highlights Arthur's descent into madness and the impact it has on those around him. However, the transition from Arthur's confrontation with Alfred to his escape from Wayne Manor feels abrupt and disjointed.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more build-up and context to the scene by incorporating elements from the previous scenes. This will help create a stronger connection between the events and make the scene feel more cohesive.
  • Develop the introduction of Thomas Wayne and the protest planned at Wayne Hall Gala to give it more significance and impact on the story. This could be done through additional scenes or dialogue that explore the public's perception of Thomas Wayne and the reasons behind the protest.
  • Expand on the interaction between Arthur and the young boy at Wayne Manor to establish a stronger emotional connection. This could be achieved through dialogue that reveals more about Arthur's desire to bring joy to others and the impact it has on him.
  • Take more time to explore the confrontation between Arthur and Alfred at the gate of Wayne Manor. This could involve adding more dialogue and allowing the characters to fully express their emotions and motivations. Additionally, give the revelation about Arthur's belief that Thomas Wayne is his father more weight and significance by allowing it to unfold gradually.
  • Smooth out the transition from Arthur's confrontation with Alfred to his escape from Wayne Manor. This could be achieved by adding a bridge scene or moment that connects the two events and provides a clearer transition for the audience.



Scene 22 -  A Chaotic Night in the Bronx
EXT. THE BRONX, STREETS - NIGHT

ARTHUR'S BACK IN HIS PART OF TOWN, garbage everywhere here.
The neighborhood at night is alive. Loud kids on the street
corners... A drunk seemingly fights no one... Sirens
wailing...

As Arthur approaches his building, he sees AN AMBULANCE
PARKED in front. Lights flashing. Hit with a sense of dread,
he runs toward the building--


EXT. STREET, APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

A SMALL CROWD OF GAWKERS have gathered around watching the
drama unfold. Shouting and laughing, loud dance music blaring
out an open window, feels like an impromptu block party.

ARTHUR RUNS UP, SEES TWO PARAMEDICS wheeling his unconscious
mother down the front steps on a stretcher.

FROM ABOVE, Arthur pushing through the crowd, rushes to his
mother's side--

ARTHUR
(following as they wheel
her, leaning over
stretcher)
Mom? Mom, what happened?

PARAMEDIC #1
Sir. Please step back.

ARTHUR
What happened to her?

PARAMEDIC #1
Who are you?

ARTHUR
I'm her son.

PARAMEDIC #1
Oh, great. You can probably help us
out inside. We don't know what
happened yet.
52.


Arthur follows them as they load Penny into the ambulance.


INT. CITY AMBULANCE, BACK (PARKED) - MINUTES LATER

Arthur watches as the two paramedics work on his mother,
descending on her like vampires, shouting instructions to
each other while checking her vitals (pulse, pupils),
shouting questions at him as they begin to intubate her--

PARAMEDIC #1
Does your mother take any
medications?

Arthur doesn't answer, just watches in horror.

PARAMEDIC #1
Sir. Is your mother on any
medications?!

ARTHUR
No.

PARAMEDIC #2
When was the last time you spoke to
her?

ARTHUR
I don't know.

The ambulance starts to pull away.

PARAMEDIC #2
Does she have any medical history?

Arthur doesn't answer.


EXT. CITY HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT

Arthur sitting on a bench waiting outside the bustling
emergency room of a massive city hospital. He watches the
sick and dying being rushed through the glass doors. Opening
and closing. This happens in the background throughout the
scene.

The two detectives walk up to Arthur, interrupting him
watching the doors. Gotham police detectives, GARRITY (50's),
grey hair, and BURKE (30's), his partner.

DET. GARRITY
Mr. Fleck, sorry to bother you, I’m
Detective Garrity, this is my
partner Detective Burke.
53.


Arthur looks up at them. Doesn't say anything.

DET. GARRITY
We had a few questions for you, but
you weren’t home. So we spoke to
your mother.

ARTHUR
What did you say to her? Did you do
this?

DET. GARRITY
What? No. We just asked her some
questions and she started getting
hysterical-- hyperventilating,
trouble speaking-- then she
collapsed. Hit her head pretty
hard.

ARTHUR
Yeah, the doctor said she had a
stroke.

Beat.

DET. GARRITY
Sorry to hear about that. But like
I said, we still have some
questions for you. They're about
the subway killings that happened
last week. You've heard about them,
right?

ARTHUR
Yeah. It's horrible.

DET. GARRITY
(reading over his notes)
Right. So we spoke to your boss at,
uhh, Ha-Ha's. He said you were
fired that day-- fired for bringing
a gun into the children's hospital.

ARTHUR
It was a prop. It's part of my act.
I'm a party clown.

DET. BURKE
All right. So why were you fired?

ARTHUR
They said I wasn’t funny enough.
Can you imagine that?
(he stands)
(MORE)
54.

ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Now, if you don't mind, I need to
go take care of my mother.

The detectives share another look.

Detective Burke steps close to him, holds up the card that
Arthur handed him--

DET. BURKE
Your boss also gave us one of your
cards. This condition of yours, the
laughing, is it real or some sort
of a clown thing?

ARTHUR
A clown thing?

DET. BURKE
Yeah, I mean-- is it part of your
act?

ARTHUR
What do you think?

And Arthur walks away-- heads for the sliding glass doors.
Only the motion detector doesn’t engage--

AND HE SLAMS RIGHT INTO THE GLASS DOOR.

HARD.

He bounces back.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur returns to his neighborhood in the Bronx at night to find chaos with garbage everywhere, loud kids, and a drunk person. He sees an ambulance outside his building and rushes to his unconscious mother's side. The paramedics wheel her down the steps and into the ambulance while asking Arthur questions. Later, outside the hospital, two detectives approach Arthur and question him about the subway killings and his firing from Ha-Ha's. Arthur explains he is a party clown. The scene ends with Arthur walking towards the sliding glass doors but slamming into them.
Strengths
  • Intense and suspenseful tone
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively establishes a sense of dread and tension, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Arthur's story. The dramatic events and emotional impact contribute to the high rating.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur's descent into madness and his transformation into the Joker is intriguing and well-executed in this scene. The introduction of various conflicts and the exploration of Arthur's relationships add depth to the concept.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, with Arthur facing multiple challenges and setbacks. The events unfold in a logical and compelling manner, keeping the audience hooked.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and situation are familiar (a protagonist dealing with a personal crisis and being questioned by detectives), the writer brings a fresh approach through their gritty and intense language, as well as the protagonist's unique condition of uncontrollable laughter.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and evoke strong emotions. Their interactions and reactions to the events add depth and complexity to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur undergoes significant emotional turmoil and begins to embrace his darker side in this scene. His character arc is further developed as he faces various challenges and confronts the truth about his parentage.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find out what happened to his mother and ensure her well-being. This reflects his deeper need for love, connection, and a sense of security.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to answer the detectives' questions about the subway killings and clear his name. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing, as he is being implicated in the crimes.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflicts, both internal and external, that create tension and drive the narrative forward. The conflicts between Arthur and the detectives, as well as his mother's health crisis, are particularly impactful.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with the detectives' suspicion and the potential consequences of being implicated in the subway killings. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with Arthur's mother's life hanging in the balance and the detectives closing in on him. The consequences of his actions and the potential exposure of his secrets add to the intensity.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and challenges for Arthur. It deepens the audience's understanding of his character and sets the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the protagonist's mother being wheeled out on a stretcher and the detectives questioning him about the subway killings. These developments keep the audience guessing about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in his own innocence and the detectives' suspicion of him. This challenges his values and worldview, as he is being forced to confront the perception of himself as a potential criminal.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene elicits strong emotional responses from the audience, particularly through the portrayal of Arthur's distress and his mother's health crisis. The emotional impact is heightened by the intense and suspenseful tone.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in this scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. However, it could benefit from more impactful and memorable lines.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation for the protagonist, with his mother's health at risk and his own reputation on the line. The intense dialogue and descriptive language create a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and action with quieter moments of reflection and dialogue. This creates a rhythm that keeps the reader engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting, making it easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, and progresses through a series of interactions and revelations.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a chaotic and lively atmosphere in Arthur's neighborhood, which sets the tone for the upcoming events. However, the description of the neighborhood could be more vivid and specific to create a stronger sense of place.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and the paramedics feels a bit generic and could benefit from more specific and realistic exchanges. It would be helpful to include more details about the paramedics' actions and Arthur's emotional state during this intense moment.
  • The transition from the ambulance to the hospital waiting room feels abrupt and could be smoother. It would be beneficial to include a brief description of Arthur's journey from the ambulance to the waiting room to provide a better sense of his surroundings.
  • The introduction of the detectives feels sudden and could be better integrated into the scene. It would be helpful to establish their presence earlier in the scene to create a sense of anticipation and build tension.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and the detectives lacks depth and could be more engaging. It would be beneficial to explore the detectives' questioning in more detail and delve into Arthur's emotional response to their inquiries.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or sense of closure. It would be helpful to include a final moment or action that provides a sense of completion or sets up the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the description of the neighborhood by including specific details about the sights, sounds, and smells to create a more immersive experience for the reader.
  • Revise the dialogue between Arthur and the paramedics to make it more realistic and emotionally charged. Consider incorporating specific medical terminology and reactions to heighten the tension.
  • Smooth out the transition from the ambulance to the hospital waiting room by including a brief description of Arthur's journey and his emotional state during this transition.
  • Introduce the detectives earlier in the scene to create a sense of anticipation and build tension. Consider incorporating their presence in the background or through subtle cues before their direct interaction with Arthur.
  • Expand the dialogue between Arthur and the detectives to delve deeper into their questioning and Arthur's emotional response. Explore the detectives' motivations and Arthur's internal conflict more fully.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or sense of closure at the end of the scene. Consider adding a final action or moment that wraps up the scene or sets up the next one.



Scene 23 -  Arthur's Distress
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM (SHARED), CITY HOSPITAL - NIGHT

PENNY LIES IN BED UNCONSCIOUS, HOOKED UP TO MACHINES.

Arthur sits bedside, distraught. Sophie is next to him...
rubbing his back.

SOPHIE
She's gonna be okay.

He just nods. Lost in thought. After a beat...

SOPHIE
I'm going to get some coffee? You
want one?

He nods again. As Sophie walks out, we HEAR MURRAY FRANKLIN
from the TV set bolted high up on the wall.
55.


MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
So I told my youngest son, Billy,
you know, the new one, the 'not so
bright' one,--

CLOSE ON TV, Murray is in the middle of doing his monologue.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
(laughter)
I told him that the garbage strike
is still going on. And he says, and
I'm not kidding, Billy says, "So
where are we gonna get all our
garbage from?"

Murray Franklin cracks up at his own joke. Studio audience
laughs.

Arthur glances over at his mother, laughing over the sounds
of her labored breath.

He looks back up at the television.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
And finally, in a world where
everyone thinks they could do my
job, we got this videotape from the
Gotham Comedy Club. Here's a guy
who thinks if you just keep
laughing, it'll somehow make you
funny. Check out this joker.

EXTREME CLOSE ON TV, GRAINY VIDEO OF ARTHUR'S STAND-UP
PERFORMANCE. Arthur on stage smiling behind the microphone,
under the harsh spotlight.

Arthur watching himself on TV, his jaw drops--

ARTHUR (ON TV)
(trying to stop himself
from laughing)
-- good evening, hello.
(deep breath; trying to
stop laughing)
Good to be here.
(keeps cracking up)
I, I hated school as a kid. But my
mother would always say,--
(bad imitation of his mom,
still laughing)
"You should enjoy it. One day
you'll have to work for a living."
(laughs)
(MORE)
56.

ARTHUR (ON TV) (CONT'D)
"No I won't, Ma. I'm gonna be a
comedian!"

Back to Murray Franklin shaking his head, trying not to
laugh.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
You should have listened to your
mother.

The studio audience erupts into laughter.

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, watching Murray Franklin make fun of him on
TV. He gets up and starts walking toward the TV set as if in
a trance. Unsure if this is really happening.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
One more, Bobby. Let's see one
more. I love this guy.

Another moment of Arthur at the comedy club plays--

ARTHUR (ON TV)
It's funny, when I was a little boy
and told people I wanted to be a
comedian, everyone laughed at me.
(opens his arms like a big
shot)
Well no one is laughing now.

Dead silence. Nobody is laughing. Not even him.

CUT BACK CLOSE ON MURRAY FRANKLIN, just shaking his head.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
You can say that again, pal!

Murray cracks up and the studio audience laughs along with
him. Shot of Barry O'Donnell laughing too.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, looking up at the television, hearing them
all laughing at him.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Penny lies unconscious in a hospital bed while Arthur sits beside her, distraught. Sophie comforts him and offers to get coffee. Meanwhile, Murray Franklin's monologue plays on the TV, mocking Arthur's stand-up performance. As Arthur watches himself on TV, he becomes increasingly upset and walks towards the TV in a trance. Murray Franklin continues to make fun of Arthur, and the studio audience laughs. Arthur hears the laughter directed at him and looks up at the television, consumed by emotional distress.
Strengths
  • Effective blending of tragedy and comedy
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines elements of tragedy and comedy, creating a powerful emotional impact on the audience. The contrast between Arthur's distress and the laughter from the TV adds depth to the character and highlights the theme of his struggle with his identity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of blending tragedy and comedy is well-executed in this scene. It explores the inner turmoil of the protagonist while incorporating elements of dark humor.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene revolves around Arthur's emotional state and his reaction to being mocked on TV. It effectively conveys his vulnerability and sets up future conflicts.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a comedian being mocked on TV is not entirely unique, the specific dialogue and character reactions add authenticity to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is high, as it reflects the internal conflicts and desires of the protagonist.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and evoke strong emotions from the audience. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur experiences a significant emotional change in this scene, as he confronts the mockery and begins to question his identity. His reaction to the TV show reflects his growing frustration and anger.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront the laughter and mockery directed towards him on TV and to assert himself as a comedian.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that he wants to prove himself as a comedian and gain recognition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in this scene is primarily internal, as Arthur grapples with his identity and the public perception of him. The clash between tragedy and comedy adds tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. Arthur faces the opposition of being mocked and laughed at on TV, which challenges his belief in himself as a comedian. The audience is unsure of how he will respond to this opposition.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in this scene are primarily emotional, as Arthur's self-perception and mental state are at risk. The mockery on TV adds to the intensity of the situation.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides important character development for Arthur and sets up future conflicts. It deepens the audience's understanding of his internal struggle.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents a contrast between the laughter directed towards Arthur on TV and his own vulnerability and self-doubt. The audience is unsure of how Arthur will react to the mockery.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's belief in his own comedic talent and the mockery and laughter directed towards him. This challenges his belief in himself and his worldview as a comedian.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, ranging from sadness and confusion to anger and laughter. It effectively conveys Arthur's emotional turmoil.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in this scene effectively conveys the emotions and conflicts of the characters. The monologue from Murray Franklin adds a layer of irony and further highlights Arthur's struggle.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of tension and emotional conflict for the protagonist. The audience is invested in Arthur's struggle to assert himself as a comedian and overcome the mockery directed towards him.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and emotional conflict. The pauses and reactions of the characters create a sense of anticipation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by character actions and dialogue, and ends with a cut to a new scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Penny lying unconscious in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines. This sets a somber and tense tone for the scene.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Sophie is minimal, but it effectively conveys their emotions and the situation they are in.
  • The TV monologue by Murray Franklin serves as a catalyst for Arthur's emotional state. It highlights his vulnerability and the impact of being mocked on national television.
  • The use of close-ups on the TV screen and Arthur's reactions help to emphasize his emotional turmoil and the impact of the laughter directed at him.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and sets up the emotional state of the character for the following scenes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more dialogue between Arthur and Sophie to further explore their relationship and provide more insight into their emotions.
  • Explore ways to visually represent Arthur's internal struggle and emotional state, such as through symbolism or visual metaphors.
  • Consider incorporating more visual elements to enhance the impact of the TV monologue and Arthur's reactions.
  • Experiment with different camera angles and shots to create a more dynamic and visually engaging scene.
  • Consider adding more depth to the scene by exploring Arthur's thoughts and internal monologue.



Scene 24 -  Arthur Reacts to News of Protest
INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, BEDROOM - NIGHT

FROM ABOVE, looking down on Arthur hunched over, lying on his
side in his mother's bed, his left arm below frame-- hard to
tell if he's in pain or beating off.

He reaches out his right arm to where his mother slept, the
TV's blue light flickering, 11:00 News turned up--
57.


NEWS ANCHOR (ON TV)
The anger and resentment that's
been building in the city for weeks
seems close to exploding.
Protesters, many dressed as clowns,
took to the streets today in one of
several planned demonstrations
taking on the city's elite.
Including a massive rally outside
tomorrow night's benefit at Wayne
Hall.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, quickly turning and sitting up in bed when
he hears what's on the television--

ANGLE ON TELEVISION, a crowd of protesters, a few wearing
Arthur's clown mask are being interviewed.

"CLOWN" PROTESTER #1 (ON TV)
It’s gonna show ‘em that they can’t
ignore us. Our voices need to be
heard. We’re not--

"CLOWN" PROTESTER #2 (ON TV)
(interrupts; screaming
into camera)
[Beep] the rich, [beep] the
politicians, [beep] the whites,
[beep] the blacks, [beep] Thomas
Wayne, [beep] the whole system.
That's what this is [beeping]
about!

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, moving down to the edge of the bed, gun on
the nightstand behind him, leaning forward closer toward the
flickering screen to make sure he's seeing what he's seeing--
Thomas Wayne now being interviewed on the plaza in front of
Wayne Tower-- "...had no comment on the upcoming rally."

THOMAS WAYNE (ON TV)
Well what I will say is, there's
something wrong with those people.
I'm here to help them. I want to
lift them out of poverty, help make
their lives better. That's why I'm
running. They may not realize it,
but I'm their only hope.

CUT TO:
58.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur lies in his mother's bed, reaching out towards the TV as the news anchor reports on the anger and resentment in the city. Clown protesters are interviewed, expressing their frustration. Thomas Wayne is also interviewed, expressing his desire to help the people. Arthur sits up, leaning closer to the screen to make sure he's seeing correctly. The scene ends with Arthur still watching the TV, processing the information he has just heard.
Strengths
  • Powerful emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be further refined

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, effectively conveying Arthur's internal turmoil and the escalating tension in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur's transformation into the Joker is compelling and well-executed, with the scene delving deeper into his psychological unraveling.

Plot: 9

The plot is gripping and propels the story forward, with significant developments such as Arthur discovering his connection to Thomas Wayne and the mounting protests against the elite.

Originality: 8

This scene has a level of originality in its depiction of societal unrest and the protagonist's internal struggles. The use of protesters dressed as clowns adds a unique and visually striking element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their motivations and conflicts. Arthur's transformation and his complex relationship with his mother and Sophie are particularly compelling.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes significant changes in this scene, from discovering his true parentage to confronting his mother and experiencing a moment of realization about his identity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a sense of purpose and belonging. He is searching for a way to make his voice heard and to be seen as someone who can make a difference.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to understand the upcoming rally and its significance. He wants to know if it can be a platform for his own message and if it aligns with his beliefs.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with Arthur facing internal and external challenges that push him closer to his breaking point.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with conflicting viewpoints and challenges to his beliefs. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with Arthur's mental state deteriorating and the city on the brink of chaos.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne, as well as setting up the escalating tensions in the city.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces conflicting viewpoints and challenges the audience's expectations. The protagonist's reaction to the news on TV and the conflicting statements from the protesters and Thomas Wayne create uncertainty about the direction of the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between the protagonist's desire for change and the system that he believes is corrupt. Thomas Wayne represents the system, while the protesters represent the desire for change and equality. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, from Arthur's despair and anger to the heartbreaking revelation about his parentage.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, with moments of dark humor and intense confrontations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a tense and confrontational situation. The dialogue and actions of the characters create a sense of urgency and intrigue, making the audience want to know more about the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and building tension. The quick cuts between different characters and the intense dialogue keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively introduces the setting, establishes the protagonist's goals, and sets up the conflict with Thomas Wayne.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a description of Arthur lying on his side in his mother's bed, which is a bit unclear and could be more specific. It's not clear what he's doing with his left arm below frame, and the description of him reaching out his right arm to where his mother slept is a bit confusing.
  • The transition from the news anchor on TV to Arthur sitting up in bed is abrupt and could be smoother. It's not clear why he suddenly sits up when he hears what's on the television.
  • The dialogue from the protesters on TV feels a bit forced and heavy-handed. The use of profanity and the explicit statements about race and politics come across as trying too hard to make a statement.
  • The description of Arthur leaning forward closer toward the flickering screen to make sure he's seeing what he's seeing could be more visually engaging. It's a missed opportunity to create a more impactful moment.
  • The transition from Arthur looking at the TV to the next scene is abrupt and could be smoother. It's not clear why the scene cuts at that particular moment.
Suggestions
  • Provide clearer and more specific descriptions of Arthur's actions in bed to avoid confusion.
  • Smooth out the transition from the news anchor on TV to Arthur sitting up in bed by providing a clearer motivation for his sudden movement.
  • Consider toning down the dialogue of the protesters on TV to make it feel more natural and less heavy-handed.
  • Enhance the description of Arthur leaning forward toward the TV to create a more visually engaging moment.
  • Provide a smoother transition from Arthur looking at the TV to the next scene to avoid an abrupt cut.



Scene 25 -  Chaos at Wayne Hall
INT. WAYNE HALL, THEATER - CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS - DUSK

ANGLE ON MOVIE SCREEN PLAYING "MODERN TIMES", FACE OF A ROMAN
NUMERAL CLOCK FILLS THE FRAME, and up fades the forward...

"Modern Times". A story
of industry, of individual
enterprise -- humanity
crusading in the pursuit
of happiness.

And as the screen fades to black, we pull out to reveal the
Gotham Philharmonic playing Chaplin's silent movie score in
front of a black-tie high society crowd... Behind them, on
screen, glimpse the opening shot of a crowded herd of sheep,
a lone black sheep caught in the middle, dissolving into a
mass of crowded workers rushing out of a subway station.


EXT. CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS, WAYNE HALL - DUSK

ARTHUR ALL ALONE HEADING TOWARD AN ANGRY MOB in front of the
Center for Performing Arts. Night falling. Storm clouds
gathering.

ANGLE ON THE CROWD OF PROTESTERS SCREAMING AND SHOUTING IN
FRONT OF WAYNE HALL, behind steel barricades. Many wearing
Arthur's "clown face" mask... A few wave homemade signs,
"CLOWN FOR MAYOR"... "KILL THE RICH"... "MR. WAYNE, AM I A
CLOWN?"

A LINE OF POLICEMEN AND SECURITY GUARDS stand between the
crowd and the lit-up white marble building.

Arthur pauses and watches the crowd for a moment.


EXT. WAYNE HALL, FRONT ENTRANCE - DUSK

A FIGHT BREAKS OUT between a "clown" masked protester and two
cops. The crowd goes crazy, pushing through the barricades
toward the building. Distant thunder rumbling. The police and
Wayne Hall Security fight to keep them out--

Amidst all the chaos, we glimpse Arthur slipping into the
building unnoticed--


INT. LOBBY, WAYNE HALL - NIGHT

Arthur walks through the massive multi-level lobby. It's
completely empty since the performance has already begun and
whatever security was available is outside helping the police
deal with the protesters.
59.


He looks up in awe at the crystal chandeliers... He's never
seen anything this opulent in his entire life.

He starts up the grand staircase to the second floor--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the movie screen playing 'Modern Times' fades to black and reveals the Gotham Philharmonic playing Chaplin's silent movie score in front of a high society crowd. Meanwhile, Arthur heads towards an angry mob of protesters in front of the Center for Performing Arts. He watches the crowd for a moment before a fight breaks out between a protester and two cops. Amidst the chaos, Arthur slips into Wayne Hall unnoticed and walks through the empty lobby.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling character interactions
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively captures the intense and chaotic atmosphere of a protest, while also delving into Arthur's personal struggles and revelations. The combination of the protest, Arthur's confrontation with Alfred, and his realization about his parentage creates a high-stakes and emotionally impactful sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the societal unrest and class divide through the perspective of a troubled clown is unique and thought-provoking. It allows for a deeper examination of the character's motivations and the larger themes of the story.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's participation in a protest, his confrontation with Alfred, and his realization about his parentage. These events drive the story forward and contribute to Arthur's character development.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a protest and a high society event is not entirely unique, the use of the 'clown face' mask and the specific homemade signs add a fresh approach to the familiar theme of social inequality. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and Alfred, are well-developed and their interactions are compelling. Arthur's internal struggles and Alfred's skepticism add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes significant character changes in the scene. He learns about his parentage and confronts Alfred, which leads to a shift in his motivations and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that Arthur is seeking a sense of belonging and recognition. He is drawn to the opulence of Wayne Hall and feels awe at the grandeur of the lobby. This reflects his deeper need for validation and acceptance, as he has always felt like an outsider.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to enter Wayne Hall unnoticed. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating through the chaos of the protest and finding a way to blend in with the crowd.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, both in terms of the protest and Arthur's personal struggles. The tension between Arthur and Alfred adds an additional layer of conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protesters and the police/security guards represent conflicting forces. The audience doesn't know how the conflict will unfold and whether Arthur will be able to achieve his goal.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are high, both in terms of the protest and Arthur's personal struggles. The revelation about his parentage adds an additional layer of stakes.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about Arthur's parentage and his motivations. It also sets up the conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of the protest and Arthur's attempt to enter Wayne Hall is uncertain. The audience doesn't know how the conflict will escalate or how Arthur will navigate through the chaos.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protesters and the high society represented by Wayne Hall. The protesters believe that the rich, represented by Mr. Wayne, are responsible for their struggles and inequality. This challenges Arthur's beliefs and values as he is torn between his sympathy for the protesters and his desire to be accepted by the wealthy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, including anger, confusion, and desperation. Arthur's realization about his parentage and his confrontation with Alfred are particularly impactful.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Arthur and Alfred. It also reveals important information about Arthur's parentage and his motivations.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protesters and the high society, creates a sense of tension and anticipation as Arthur tries to enter Wayne Hall unnoticed, and introduces the audience to the protagonist's internal and external goals.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The description of the protest, the fight, and Arthur's entrance into Wayne Hall are paced in a way that keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot, introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, and progresses with a series of actions and reactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a transition from the movie screen playing 'Modern Times' to the Gotham Philharmonic playing Chaplin's silent movie score. This transition feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous scene. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition or a clearer connection between the two scenes.
  • The description of the angry mob of protesters and the signs they are holding is effective in setting the tone and atmosphere of the scene. However, the significance of the protesters and their motivations is not fully explored or explained. It would be beneficial to provide more context or background information to help the audience understand the protesters' grievances and why they are targeting Wayne Hall.
  • The fight between a 'clown' masked protester and two cops adds tension and excitement to the scene. However, the transition from the fight to Arthur slipping into the building feels rushed and could benefit from a smoother transition or a clearer explanation of how Arthur manages to enter unnoticed.
  • The description of the opulent lobby of Wayne Hall is vivid and helps to establish the stark contrast between Arthur's world and the world of the wealthy elite. However, there is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into Arthur's emotional reaction to the opulence and his feelings of being an outsider. Adding more internal thoughts or reflections from Arthur would enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Overall, the scene effectively sets up the tension and conflict surrounding the protest at Wayne Hall. However, there are areas where the transitions could be smoother and the emotional depth of the scene could be further explored.
Suggestions
  • Consider finding a stronger connection or transition between the previous scene and the start of this scene to create a smoother flow.
  • Provide more context or background information about the protesters and their motivations to help the audience understand their grievances and why they are targeting Wayne Hall.
  • Develop a clearer explanation of how Arthur manages to slip into the building unnoticed after the fight between the protester and the cops.
  • Add more internal thoughts or reflections from Arthur to deepen the emotional impact of the scene and highlight his feelings of being an outsider in the opulent world of Wayne Hall.
  • Continue to build tension and conflict throughout the scene by exploring the protesters' actions and reactions to the police and security guards.



Scene 26 -  Confrontation in Wayne Hall
INT. SECOND LEVEL, BALCONY - WAYNE HALL - NIGHT

ARTHUR MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE SHADOWS ALONG THE BACK WALL
OF THE BALCONY, a birds-eye-view, looking around for Thomas
Wayne in the sold-out black-tie audience--

He catches bits of the silent movie projected down on stage
behind the orchestra, the Tramp working in a factory.

He continues moving along the back wall looking for Thomas
Wayne, sees him sitting in a box seat on the side of the
theater with his wife.

Arthur watches him in the darkness, waiting--

JUMP CUT:


INT. BALCONY, SECOND LEVEL - LATER

PROJECTED ON SCREEN, the Tramp roller skating blindfolded on
a date with the Gamin (Paulette Goddard) in a department
store. Arthur's still standing against the back wall in the
shadows, laughing along with the rest of the audience
watching the Tramp skates blindfolded, skirting along the
edge of a balcony with no rail, orchestra playing the bouncy
score.

Arthur's really enjoying the movie, almost forgetting for a
moment why he's there, when he glances over to Thomas Wayne's
box and sees him leaving, being led by his BODYGUARD--

Arthur's eyes go wide and he quickly turns to go, behind him
on screen, the Tramp is rescued by the girl before he falls
off the edge, orchestra swelling--


INT. SECOND LEVEL - WAYNE HALL - CONTINUOUS

Arthur catches a glimpse of Thomas Wayne heading into the
men's room, his bodyguard waiting by the door, still hear the
orchestra playing the score---

Arthur glances around the lobby, sees a lobby broom and
upright dustpan tucked in the corner--
60.


INT. HALLWAY, MEN'S ROOM - WAYNE HALL - SECONDS LATER

Arthur's sweeping up the hallway with his head down, hear the
orchestra playing the melancholy "Smile" from the film's
score. He sweeps along to the music like Emmett Kelly's
famous act... Sweeping around the bodyguard's feet...
Annoyed, he moves a bit away from the bathroom door... And
doesn't give Arthur a second look as he heads inside...


INT. MEN'S ROOM, WAYNE HALL - CONTINUOUS

Arthur sweeps his way into the cavernous, black & white tiled
bathroom, ornate gold fixtures. It's empty save for Thomas
Wayne peeing at the far end of a long line of urinals.

Arthur takes a deep breath, and walks down the line of
urinals right up next to Thomas Wayne--

He stands there for a beat while Thomas urinates, lobby broom
and upright dustpan in hand--

THOMAS WAYNE
(glances over; annoyed)
Can I help you, pal?

ARTHUR
What? Yeah. No I, I--

THOMAS WAYNE
(interrupting)
You need to get in here or
something?

Thomas Wayne finishes and zips his fly back up. Arthur is not
sure what to say to him, just says--

ARTHUR
Dad. It's me.

Beat.

But Thomas Wayne doesn't hear him, he was flushing the
urinal. He walks toward the sink.

THOMAS WAYNE
Excuse me?

Arthur follows after him.

ARTHUR
My name is Arthur. I'm Penny's son.
(beat)
I, I know everything.
(MORE)
61.

ARTHUR (CONT’D)
And I don't want anything from you.
Well... maybe a hug.

And Arthur smiles, it's all very emotional for him. Thomas
looks over at him like he's fucking crazy.

THOMAS WAYNE
Jesus. You're the guy who came by
my house yesterday.

Arthur nods, relieved he finally broke through.

ARTHUR
Yes. But they wouldn't let me in,
wouldn't let me see you. So I came
here. I have so many questions.

Thomas Wayne just laughs to himself and turns on the gold
faucets at one of the sinks.

THOMAS WAYNE
Look pal, I'm not your father.
What's wrong with you?

ARTHUR
How do you know?

Thomas Wayne just keeps washing his hands, doesn't even look
over at Arthur.

THOMAS WAYNE
Cause you were adopted. And I never
slept with your mother. What do you
want from me, money?

ARTHUR
No. What? I wasn't adopted.

Thomas starts drying his hands.

THOMAS WAYNE
She never told you? Your mother
adopted you after she worked for
us. She was arrested when you were
four years old and committed to
Arkham State Hospital. She's
batshit crazy.

Arthur starts to smile, feels a laugh coming on.

ARTHUR
No. No, I don't believe that.
62.


Thomas finishes drying his hands. Turns to Arthur, his tone
way more serious now.

THOMAS WAYNE
I don't really give a shit what you
believe.
(steps in closer)
But if you ever come to my house
again, if you ever talk to my son
again, if I ever even hear about
you again, I'll--

AND ARTHUR CRACKS UP LAUGHING, interrupting his threat.
Laughing right in his face--

THOMAS WAYNE
Are you laughing at me?

Arthur's laughing so hard he can't answer.

THOMAS SHOVES ARTHUR HARD UP AGAINST THE TILED WALL, gripping
his neck with one hand. Arthur just cracks up louder, he
drops the dustpan and broom--

THOMAS WAYNE
(shouting)
You think this is funny?

Thomas Wayne's bodyguards bang open the door, rushing into
the bathroom when they hear the shouting--

They stop when they see Thomas has Arthur jacked up against
the wall.

ARTHUR
(tries shaking his head
no; still laughing and
choking)
No, no I have a con--

THOMAS WAYNE
(interrupting; raising his
voice)
Is this a fucking joke to you?

AND THOMAS WAYNE PUNCHES ARTHUR STRAIGHT IN THE FACE with his
free hand, blood spraying from his nose--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur confronts Thomas Wayne about being his father in the balcony of Wayne Hall during a black-tie event. Thomas Wayne reveals that Arthur was adopted and his mother is mentally ill. Arthur laughs at the revelation, angering Thomas Wayne who punches him in the face.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional confrontation
  • Strong performances
  • Revelation of Arthur's belief about his parentage
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, with strong performances and a pivotal moment in the story. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is a turning point for Arthur's character and sets the stage for the climax of the film.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur confronting Thomas Wayne and revealing his belief that he is his father is a compelling and dramatic idea. It adds depth to Arthur's character and raises questions about his identity and the nature of truth.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's confrontation with Thomas Wayne and the revelation of his belief that he is his father. This plot point is crucial to the overall story and sets up the conflict between Arthur and the Wayne family.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a character confronting their alleged parent is not entirely unique, the specific circumstances and the darkly humorous tone bring a fresh approach to the familiar trope. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Arthur and Thomas Wayne, are well-developed and their interactions are intense and emotionally charged. The scene showcases the complexity of Arthur's character and the power dynamics between him and Thomas Wayne.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant change in this scene, as he confronts Thomas Wayne and reveals his belief that he is his father. This revelation challenges his sense of identity and sets him on a path towards embracing his alter ego as the Joker.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront Thomas Wayne and establish a connection with him as his father. This reflects Arthur's deeper need for validation, acceptance, and a sense of belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a conversation with Thomas Wayne and get answers to his questions about his past and identity. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges Arthur is facing in his search for truth and understanding.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in this scene is intense and emotionally charged, with Arthur confronting Thomas Wayne and revealing his belief that he is his father. The power dynamics between the characters create a sense of tension and suspense.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, as Thomas Wayne physically confronts Arthur and challenges his claims. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and whether Arthur will be able to achieve his goal of establishing a connection with his alleged father.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in this scene are high, as Arthur confronts Thomas Wayne and reveals his belief that he is his father. The outcome of this confrontation has significant implications for Arthur's character and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing Arthur's belief that Thomas Wayne is his father and setting up the conflict between Arthur and the Wayne family. It deepens our understanding of Arthur's character and his motivations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it subverts expectations by having the protagonist laugh in the face of danger instead of showing fear or submission. The sudden escalation of the conflict and the unexpected punch from Thomas Wayne add to the unpredictability of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's belief that he is Thomas Wayne's son and Thomas Wayne's denial of this claim. This challenges Arthur's beliefs, values, and worldview, as he is confronted with the possibility that his mother lied to him and his identity may not be what he thought.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The emotional impact of this scene is significant, with Arthur's revelation and the intense confrontation between him and Thomas Wayne. The scene elicits strong emotions from the audience and deepens our understanding of Arthur's character.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in this scene is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is filled with tension and emotional subtext.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines tension, humor, and emotional stakes. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne creates a sense of anticipation and uncertainty. The dark humor adds an element of surprise and keeps the audience invested in the outcome of the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and then releasing it through the unexpected punch. The rhythm of the dialogue and the physical actions of the characters create a dynamic and engaging flow.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow. The scene is well-paced and allows for clear visualization of the events.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with the protagonist observing the target, then moves to the protagonist's attempt to approach and confront the target, and finally escalates into a physical altercation. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end, with a well-defined conflict and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur looking for Thomas Wayne in the sold-out audience, but it is not clear why he is looking for him or what his intentions are.
  • The transition between the two parts of the scene is abrupt and confusing. It is not clear why Arthur is suddenly laughing and enjoying the movie, and then why he suddenly realizes Thomas Wayne is leaving.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is disjointed and lacks clarity. It is not clear what Arthur is trying to say or what he wants from Thomas Wayne.
  • The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne escalates too quickly and feels forced. It is not clear why Thomas Wayne becomes so angry and violent towards Arthur.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Thomas Wayne punching Arthur, leaving the reader with a sense of confusion and unresolved conflict.
Suggestions
  • Clarify Arthur's intentions and motivations for looking for Thomas Wayne in the audience.
  • Smooth out the transition between the two parts of the scene to make it more clear why Arthur suddenly realizes Thomas Wayne is leaving.
  • Refine the dialogue between Arthur and Thomas Wayne to make their intentions and emotions more clear.
  • Build up the confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne more gradually to make it feel more organic and believable.
  • Provide a more satisfying resolution to the conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne, or leave it open-ended for future scenes.



Scene 27 -  Arthur's Excitement and Frustration
INT. BEDROOM, MOM'S APARTMENT - MORNING

Sunshine peeking through bedroom windows. Arthur's eyes are
open, he's been awake all night, he still hasn't slept.
63.


Phone starts ringing in the kitchen, he lets the machine pick
it up--

SHOW BOOKER (ON MACHINE)
This message is for Arthur Fleck.
My name is Shirley Woods, I work on
the Murray Franklin show.

Arthur gets up quickly and heads for the kitchen as the woman
continues to leave a message--


INT. KITCHEN, MOM'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Arthur walks in, listening to the woman on the machine--

SHOW BOOKER (ON MACHINE)
I don't know if you're aware, but
Murray played a clip of your stand-
up on the show recently and we've
gotten an amazing--

Arthur picks up the phone--

ARTHUR
(into phone; skeptical)
Who is this?

SHOW BOOKER (OVER PHONE)
Hi, this is Shirley Woods from
Murray Franklin Live. Is this
Arthur?

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Yes.

SHOW BOOKER (OVER PHONE)
Hi Arthur. Well, as I was saying--
we've gotten a lot of calls about
your clip, amazing responses. And,
Murray asked if I would reach out
to see if you would come on as his
guest. Can we set up a day?

PUSH IN ON ARTHUR'S FACE, as it sinks in.

ARTHUR
(into phone)
Murray wants me to come on the
show?
64.


SHOW BOOKER (OVER PHONE)
Yes. Isn't that great? He'd love to
talk to you, maybe do some of your
act. Does that sound good to you?

As the PUSH IN ON ARTHUR finishes.

CUT TO:


EXT. ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL - MORNING

A GRAY, BEHEMOTH STATE HOSPITAL looming over the city block.
Metal screens cover steel-framed windows. Arthur crosses the
street toward the building, eyes weary, he hasn't slept in
days.


INT. ARKHAM STATE, HALLWAY - MORNING

ARTHUR WALKS DOWN A LONG HALLWAY, PASSING TWO GOTHAM CITY
COPS AND A PARAMEDIC rolling a naked sunburned man screaming
his head off, handcuffed to a stretcher underneath a white
sheet. Sounds bouncing off the walls, up and down the halls,
working other patients into fits, screaming back.


INT. DOCUMENTS & RECORDS OFFICE - BASEMENT HALLWAY, ARKHAM
STATE HOSPITAL - MORNING

Arthur stands at a service window that looks into the cramped
records office, a metal grate covers most of the window.
Harsh fluorescent lights flicker above. He glances at the
hallway behind him, sees two orderlies walking a dead-eyed
patient back to his ward, hears distant echoing screams.

He's interrupted by a CLERK (40's), ID clipped to his shirt,
who's lugging an old heavy file storage box. He drops the box
down on a counter beneath the window.

CLERK
Sorry for the wait. All our records
that are 10 years or older are
stored in the basement. You're
talking over 30 years ago,-- I had
to do some serious digging.

Arthur nods thanks. The clerk looks at Arthur for a moment,
like he's trying to place him--

CLERK
And, like I said, if it's in here,
I'm still gonna need a release from
her. Have we met before?
65.


Arthur shakes his head no.

The clerk opens the file box. Starts digging though it.
Arthur watches the orderlies locking the doors behind them,
still hears the screams.

ARTHUR
Can I ask you a question? How does
someone wind up in here? Have all
the people committed crimes?

CLERK
(going through the files)
Some have. Some are just crazy and
pose a danger to themselves or
others. Some just got nowhere else
to go.

Beat.

ARTHUR
(nods; looks down)
Yeah, I know how that is. Sometimes
I don't know what to do, y'know, I
don't think I can take any more of
this.

The clerk is half listening as he scans the paper work.

CLERK
Yeah, I can't take much more of
this shit either. Now they talking
about more layoffs, man, we're
understaffed as it is. I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

Arthur looks up at the guy, thinking he's made a connection.

ARTHUR
Last time I ended up taking it out
on some,-- people. Bad shit. I
thought it would bother me but, it
really hasn't.

The clerk finally looks back at him--

CLERK
What's that?

ARTHUR
It's just so hard to try and be
happy all the time, y'know, when
everything's going to shit all
around you.
66.


CLERK
(taken aback; beat)
Listen, I'm just an administrative
assistant, like a clerk. I file
paperwork. I don't really know what
to tell you, but maybe you should
see someone-- they have programs,
like city services.

ARTHUR
(backtracking)
Yeah. They cut those. Anyway, I was
just talking to talk.

The clerk just stares at Arthur--

CLERK
(realizing)
Wait, I know where I've seen you,--
You were on Murray Franklin the
other night, weren't you?

ARTHUR
(beat)
No. I don't know what you're
talking about.

CLERK
(shrugs, goes back to
looking through the
files)
Sorry, Murray just killed some poor
guy on TV,--

The clerk shakes his head to himself, finally finds what he
was looking for.

CLERK
(surprised)
Here it is,-- Fleck. Penny Fleck.

He pulls out an old file, bulging with yellowing records.
Moves the box to the floor and sits down on his stool behind
the window.

ARTHUR
(saying it out loud for
himself to hear)
So she was a patient here.

The guy opens the file. Yellowing pages of her records--
67.


CLERK
(nods, skim-reading)
Uh-huh. Diagnosed by Dr. Benjamin
Stoner... The patient suffers from
delusional psychosis and
narcissistic personality
disorder... Found guilty of
endangering the welfare of a child--

The clerk stops reading out loud, eyes going wide as he skims
further ahead. Arthur just looks at the guy, waiting to see
what he's gonna say.

ARTHUR
What?

CLERK
You said she's your mother?

Arthur just nods.

CLERK
(closes the file)
I'm sorry, I can't. Like I said, I
can't release this without the
proper forms. I could get in
trouble.
(closes the file; beat)
Besides, it's pretty bad.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR, he shakes his head and smiles to himself.

ARTHUR
I can handle bad.

The clerk puts the file down on the counter--

CLERK
Yeah, sorry. If you want these
records you have to get your mom to
sign a patient disclosure form. I
can have someone mail you one.

Arthur just stands there, thinking it all over for a moment.

Then reaches in under the metal cage and snatches the file--

The clerk grabs it as well.

They play tug-of-war with the file, it's awkward and goes on
way too long. Out-of-nowhere Arthur slams his own head
violently against the metal grate, surprising the guy,
allowing him to pull the file away--
68.


Arthur takes off running down the hall with it. The clerk
watches for a beat, but does nothing.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur wakes up to a message from Shirley Woods inviting him to be a guest on the Murray Franklin show. Excited, Arthur agrees to come on the show. He then heads to Arkham State Hospital to access his mother's records but is told he needs a release form. Frustrated, Arthur tries to take the file by force but fails and runs away with it, leaving the clerk watching him escape.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Revelation of important information
  • Compelling character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with a significant revelation about Arthur's past and his potential father. It sets up important plot points and raises the stakes for Arthur's character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true parentage and the impact it has on his mental state is intriguing and adds depth to his character.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's search for information about his mother and his confrontation with Thomas Wayne. It is engaging and propels the story forward.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character searching for information about their past is not entirely unique, the specific details and interactions in this scene add freshness to the familiar trope. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and the clerk, are well-developed and their interactions are compelling.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change in this scene, as he learns about his mother's mental illness and his potential connection to Thomas Wayne.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find out more about his mother's past and her time at Arkham State Hospital. This reflects his deeper need for understanding and connection, as well as his fear of being alone and abandoned.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to obtain his mother's records from the hospital. This reflects the immediate challenge of uncovering the truth about his mother's past and potentially finding answers to his own identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internal and external, as Arthur confronts the clerk and learns about his mother's mental illness and past.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong enough to create a sense of conflict and uncertainty. The protagonist faces obstacles in obtaining his mother's records and must navigate the clerk's reluctance to release them. The outcome of this opposition is uncertain, adding to the tension of the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Arthur confronts the truth about his mother and his potential connection to Thomas Wayne, which has significant implications for his identity and future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about Arthur's past and setting up his appearance on the Murray Franklin show.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected actions and reactions from the protagonist, such as slamming his head against the metal grate. The reader is unsure of how the scene will unfold and what consequences the protagonist's actions will have.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in the importance of understanding his past and the clerk's belief in following rules and procedures. This challenges the protagonist's belief that he can handle anything and that rules can be broken for the sake of his own goals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is emotionally impactful, as Arthur discovers the truth about his mother and his potential father, and confronts his own identity and past.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and reveals important information about Arthur's past and his relationship with his mother.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a clear goal for the protagonist, introduces a potential opportunity for growth and change, and creates tension through the protagonist's actions and dialogue. The reader is invested in finding out what will happen next and how the protagonist will navigate the challenges ahead.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by alternating between moments of tension and moments of reflection. The quick back-and-forth dialogue and the protagonist's actions create a sense of urgency and keep the scene moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting to clearly convey the visual and auditory elements of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the conflict and goals of the protagonist, and progresses through a series of actions and dialogue that build tension and advance the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur waking up after a sleepless night, which sets the tone for his exhausted and distressed state of mind. This is effectively conveyed through the description of his eyes being open and his weariness. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to further immerse the reader in Arthur's experience.
  • The phone call from Shirley Woods, the show booker from the Murray Franklin show, introduces a new opportunity for Arthur and adds a sense of hope to the scene. However, the dialogue between Arthur and Shirley feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more development to make it feel more natural.
  • The transition to Arkham State Hospital is abrupt and could be smoother. It would be helpful to provide a clearer transition or establish a stronger connection between the previous scene and this one.
  • The interaction between Arthur and the clerk in the records office is intriguing and adds depth to Arthur's character. However, the dialogue between them feels a bit forced and could benefit from more subtlety and nuance.
  • The climax of the scene, where Arthur slams his head against the metal grate, is shocking and unexpected. However, the motivation behind this action is not clear and could be further developed to make it more believable and impactful.
Suggestions
  • Add more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in Arthur's experience.
  • Develop the dialogue between Arthur and Shirley Woods to make it feel more natural and authentic.
  • Improve the transition between scenes to create a smoother flow and better connect the different elements of the story.
  • Refine the dialogue between Arthur and the clerk to add more subtlety and nuance to their interaction.
  • Further develop the motivation behind Arthur's action of slamming his head against the metal grate to make it more believable and impactful.



Scene 28 -  Revelations and Denials
INT. HALLWAY, ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL - MORNING

Arthur running down the hallway, files in his hands. Frantic.
Unaware he is not being chased. Turns a corner and runs down
another long hallway--

Gets to a stairwell door and runs in.


INT. STAIRWELL, ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

Bounding up the steps. He stops at a landing above. Looks
down, sees no one is chasing after him, just hears the
echoing screams and shouts of other patients--

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, catching his breath. He opens the file,
flipping through the records, finds the page the clerk was
reading. As he reads it over for himself, he HEARS his mother
being interviewed for her psychiatric assessment, over 30
years ago.

YOUNG PENNY (VO)
He's not adopted-- he's Thomas
Wayne's son. I worked for him, I
told you, I cleaned his house.

CUT TO:


INT. EMERGENCY INTERVIEW ROOM, ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL - DAY

A younger PENNY FLECK (mid 20's) is sitting across the table
from DR. BENJAMIN STONER (50's), in a dreary small interview
room, windows covered with security screens. Penny takes a
drag off a cigarette, her face is beaten to shit, nose
battered, lip busted up.

Dr. Stoner is going over Penny's thick file, the same file
Arthur's holding in his hands.

DR. STONER
We went over this, Penny. You
adopted him. We have all the
paperwork right here.

YOUNG PENNY
He had that all made up, so it
stayed our secret.
69.


Dr. Stoner doesn't believe her, keeps going through the file,
pulls out black & white forensic photographs of three-year-
old Arthur's body--

DR. STONER
You also stood by as one of your
boyfriends repeatedly abused your
adopted son. And battered you.

Penny exhales smoke.

YOUNG PENNY
He didn't do anything to me. Or to
my boy. Can I go now, I don't trust
hospitals.

Dr. Stoner lays out the photographs in front of Penny--

Penny keeps smoking her cigarette, glances down at the
photos, we catch glimpses of various bruises on parts of
Arthur's body... A filthy crib... A rope tied to the
radiator...

CUT BACK TO:

Arthur looking over the same black & white photographs, still
HEARS his mother--

YOUNG PENNY (VO)
I never heard him crying. Not once.
He's always been such a happy
little boy.

DR. STONER (VO)
Penny, your son was found tied to a
radiator in your filthy apartment,
malnourished, with multiple bruises
across his body and severe trauma
to his head.

Arthur looks up from the file when he hears/reads this, turns
and looks at Penny's reaction-- HE'S NOW IN THE INTERVIEW
ROOM WITH THEM, living what he's reading on the page.

He sees his mother lean forward in her chair, glaring at Dr.
Stoner--

YOUNG PENNY
That's not true. My apartment
wasn't filthy. I keep a clean
house.

Arthur just stares at his mother.
70.


Dr. Stoner looks at Penny, not sure how to respond to that.

DR. STONER
(beat)
And what do you have to say about
your son?

ANGLE ON PENNY, thinking it over, taking a drag off her
cigarette.

YOUNG PENNY
I'm just glad I got to know him.

Arthur just keeps staring at her as she exhales--

ARTHUR BACK IN THE STAIRWELL LOOKS UP FROM THE FILE, looks
like maybe there's cigarette smoke drifting in front of his
face--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur races through Arkham State Hospital, clutching files in his hands. He finds his mother's psychiatric assessment from years ago and is transported to a younger Penny being questioned by Dr. Stoner. Penny denies allegations of abuse and expresses her distrust of hospitals. Arthur witnesses the events unfold and ends the scene staring at his mother.
Strengths
  • Emotional intensity
  • Revelations and confrontations
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, with significant revelations and confrontations. It effectively builds tension and raises the stakes for Arthur's character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true parentage and confronting Thomas Wayne adds depth to the story and explores themes of identity and family.

Plot: 9

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, with Arthur uncovering the truth about his adoption and confronting Thomas Wayne. It raises the stakes and sets up the climax of the story.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a psychiatric hospital is familiar, the specific details of the protagonist's search for his parentage and the conflicting accounts add a fresh approach to the story. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. Arthur's desperation and anger, Penny's confusion and vulnerability, and Thomas Wayne's arrogance and anger are all compelling.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change in this scene as he learns the truth about his adoption and confronts Thomas Wayne. His anger and desperation intensify, leading to a pivotal moment in his transformation into the Joker.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his parentage and understand his own identity. This reflects his deeper need for belonging and his fear of being alone or abandoned.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find evidence in the file that supports his mother's claim about his parentage. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of proving his connection to Thomas Wayne and potentially gaining a sense of legitimacy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne, as well as the internal conflict within Arthur, creates a high level of tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces skepticism from the doctor and conflicting accounts of his past. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold and whether the protagonist will find the evidence he seeks.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Arthur confronts the man he believes to be his father and learns the truth about his past. The outcome of this confrontation will have a significant impact on Arthur's future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about Arthur's past and setting up the climax of the film. It also deepens the conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces conflicting accounts of the protagonist's past, leaving the audience uncertain about the truth. The revelation of the photographs and the protagonist's presence in the interview room add unexpected elements to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in his mother's words and the doctor's skepticism. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview, as he must confront the possibility that his mother may have lied to him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotional, with Arthur discovering the truth about his past and confronting his mother and Thomas Wayne. The audience is deeply invested in Arthur's journey and feels his pain and anger.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is particularly intense.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it raises questions about the protagonist's identity and creates suspense through the revelation of conflicting information. The emotional intensity of the characters and the mystery surrounding the protagonist's past keep the audience invested in the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The rhythm of the scene is well-balanced, allowing for moments of reflection and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an action and then transitions to a flashback, providing necessary background information. The dialogue and actions are well-paced and contribute to the overall flow of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur running down the hallway in a frantic manner, but it is not clear why he is running or what he is trying to accomplish. This lack of clarity creates confusion for the audience and makes it difficult to fully engage with the scene.
  • The transition from the hallway to the stairwell is abrupt and lacks a smooth flow. It would be beneficial to provide a clearer transition or establish a stronger connection between the two locations.
  • The dialogue between Young Penny and Dr. Stoner feels forced and lacks depth. The conversation about Arthur's adoption and abuse is important, but it could be explored in a more nuanced and emotionally impactful way.
  • The visual elements described in the scene, such as the black and white forensic photographs and the filthy apartment, are powerful and help to create a sense of the characters' past. However, these visuals could be further developed and utilized to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The ending of the scene, with Arthur staring at his mother, feels unresolved and leaves the audience wanting more. It would be beneficial to provide a clearer resolution or a stronger sense of closure to this particular moment.
Suggestions
  • Provide clearer context and motivation for Arthur's frantic running in the hallway. This could be achieved through a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that indicates what he is trying to accomplish.
  • Smoothly transition from the hallway to the stairwell by establishing a stronger connection between the two locations. This could be achieved through a visual transition or a brief moment of reflection for Arthur.
  • Develop the dialogue between Young Penny and Dr. Stoner to create a more emotionally impactful and nuanced conversation. This could be achieved by exploring the characters' emotions and motivations in greater depth.
  • Further develop the visual elements described in the scene, such as the black and white forensic photographs and the filthy apartment. Use these visuals to enhance the emotional impact of the scene and provide a deeper understanding of the characters' past.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or a stronger sense of closure to the scene. This could be achieved through a final line of dialogue or a visual cue that indicates the end of the interaction between Arthur, Young Penny, and Dr. Stoner.



Scene 29 -  A Tense Encounter and a Revelation
EXT. THE BRONX, STEEP STAIRWAY - NIGHT

IT'S POURING RAIN.

Arthur walks up the long, steep concrete stairway up toward
his building--


INT. APARTMENT BUILDING, ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Soaking wet he enters the elevator and hits the button for
his floor. Sensing something, he turns around and "sees"
Sophie.

She mimes blowing her head off with her finger--


INT. HALLWAY, APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS

Soaking wet, clothes clinging to his body, Arthur exits the
elevator and walks toward Sophie's door. He turns the
doorknob. It's unlocked.

He pushes open the door and heads inside--


INT. SOPHIE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Arthur walks into Sophie's apartment, looking around.

He sits down on the couch--

Sophie comes out of her daughter’s bedroom, jumps a little on
spotting Arthur--
71.


SOPHIE
Oh my god! What are you doing in
here?

Arthur just keeps staring straight ahead.

SOPHIE
(beat)
You’re in the wrong apartment.

He turns around finally--

SOPHIE
Your name's Arthur, right? You live
down the hall.

He nods.

SOPHIE
I really need you to leave. My
little girl's sleeping in the other
room. Please.

Arthur just stares at her--

ARTHUR
I had a bad day.

Beat.

SOPHIE
Can I call someone. Is your mother
at home?

PUSH IN ON ARTHUR, looking at her-- he raises his fingers to
his head, mimicking a gun.

CUT TO:


INT. HALLWAY, APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Arthur walking down the hallway toward his mother's
apartment.


INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Arthur sits alone on the couch, laughing. The TV is on but
he's not watching it.

He just continues to laugh, rolling onto his side from the
joke that his life seems to be.
72.


INT. CITY HOSPITAL, HOSPITAL ROOM (SHARED) - MORNING

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, leaning forward in a chair, sitting close to
his mother in her hospital bed, hear the hum of the machines,
the wheezing of the other patient in the room. He's holding
onto her hand-- Blue curtain pulled around them.

ANGLE ON PENNY, looking back at him holding her hand, still
somewhat out of it.

After a moment, Arthur smiles to himself--

ARTHUR
Hey Ma, what's my real name? Where
did I come from?

Penny looks at him confused. Arthur keeps holding her hand in
his--

ARTHUR
You remember how you used to tell
me that God gave me this laugh for
a reason? That, that I had a
purpose. Laughter and joy, that
whole thing,--

She looks away, she knows what he's talking about.

ARTHUR
HA! It wasn't God, it was you. Or,
or one of your boyfriends,-- Do you
even know what my real name is? Do
you know who I really am?

She looks away. Her whole body is shaking, overwhelmed with
emotion.

ARTHUR
C'mon, Ma, who am I?

She looks back him, struggles to speak--

PENNY
H-h-happ--

ARTHUR
(interrupting; snaps)
Happy?! I'm not happy. I haven’t
been happy for one minute of my
entire fucking life.

He lets go of her hand, getting up fast from the chair like a
vampire--
73.


ARTHUR
But you know what's funny? You know
what really makes me laugh?

He reaches behind her, grabs one of her pillows as he leans
down closer, face-to-face with her, smiling wide--

ARTHUR
I used to think my life was nothing
but a tragedy, but now, now I
realize it's all just a fucking
comedy.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur walks up a long, steep concrete stairway in the pouring rain towards his building. He enters the elevator and sees Sophie miming blowing her head off. Arthur enters Sophie's unlocked apartment and sits on the couch. Sophie comes out of her daughter's bedroom and questions why he is there. Arthur reveals that he had a bad day and mimics a gun to his head. He then walks down the hallway to his mother's apartment. In his mother's apartment, Arthur sits alone on the couch and laughs. The scene transitions to a hospital room where Arthur is sitting close to his mother, holding her hand. He asks her about his real name and where he came from. When she struggles to answer, he becomes angry and proclaims that his life is a tragedy but now realizes it's a comedy.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Revelation of crucial information
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Possible confusion for viewers unfamiliar with the backstory

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. The dialogue is intense and the conflict between Arthur and his mother adds tension to the scene. The revelation of Arthur's adoption and his mother's denial creates a strong emotional response.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true identity and confronting his mother about it is compelling and drives the plot forward. It explores themes of identity, family, and the impact of secrets.

Plot: 9

The plot is driven by Arthur's search for his true identity and his confrontation with his mother. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial adds a significant twist to the story.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character entering the wrong apartment is not entirely unique, the way it is presented and the exploration of the protagonist's internal conflicts add freshness to the familiar setup. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly portrayed. Arthur's anger and confusion, as well as his mother's denial and guilt, create a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur experiences a significant change in his perception of himself and his mother. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial forces him to confront his true identity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find solace or escape from his bad day and the challenges he is facing. It reflects his deeper need for understanding, connection, and emotional release.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to seek comfort or refuge in Sophie's apartment. It reflects the immediate circumstances of being soaked in the rain and feeling lost.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and his mother is intense and emotionally charged. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial creates a significant conflict that drives the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces the challenge of being in the wrong apartment and the emotional confrontation with Sophie. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high for Arthur as he confronts his mother about his true identity. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial has a significant impact on his sense of self.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. It adds depth to the character and sets up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected moments, such as Sophie miming blowing her head off and Arthur's revelation that his life is a comedy. These moments challenge the audience's expectations and add intrigue to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief that his life is a tragedy and his realization that it is a comedy. This challenges his beliefs, values, and worldview, forcing him to confront the meaning and purpose of his existence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotional, with Arthur expressing his anger and confusion towards his mother. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial adds to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and motivations. The confrontation between Arthur and his mother is particularly impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of mystery, tension, and emotional depth through its concise and impactful dialogue, visual storytelling, and the exploration of the protagonist's internal conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a gradual build-up of tension and emotional intensity. The rhythm of the dialogue and the visual storytelling enhance the impact of the key moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting to effectively convey the visuals and emotions.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the conflict, and resolves it in a concise and impactful manner.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur entering Sophie's apartment without any clear motivation or reason. It is not established why he chooses to go to her apartment instead of his own.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and Sophie lacks depth and meaningful interaction. Their conversation feels forced and lacks emotional resonance.
  • The scene lacks clear conflict and tension. There is no clear objective or obstacle for Arthur to overcome.
  • The transition from Arthur sitting on the couch laughing to him sitting in the hospital room with his mother feels abrupt and disjointed. The connection between these two moments is not clear.
  • The dialogue between Arthur and his mother in the hospital room lacks depth and emotional impact. Their conversation feels superficial and does not effectively convey the complex emotions and history between them.
  • The scene ends with Arthur abruptly leaving his mother's side without any clear resolution or closure to their conversation.
Suggestions
  • Establish a clear motivation for Arthur to go to Sophie's apartment. This could be done through a previous interaction or a specific reason for seeking her out.
  • Develop the dialogue between Arthur and Sophie to create a more meaningful and emotionally resonant interaction. Explore their relationship and the impact they have on each other's lives.
  • Introduce a clear conflict or obstacle for Arthur to overcome in this scene. This could be a disagreement or tension between Arthur and Sophie, or an external event that disrupts their interaction.
  • Improve the transition between Arthur sitting on the couch laughing and him sitting in the hospital room with his mother. Create a stronger connection between these two moments to enhance the emotional impact.
  • Deepen the dialogue between Arthur and his mother in the hospital room. Explore their complex emotions and history to create a more compelling and impactful conversation.
  • Provide a clear resolution or closure to the conversation between Arthur and his mother. This could be a moment of understanding, forgiveness, or acceptance that brings their interaction to a meaningful conclusion.



Scene 30 -  Arthur's Dark Reflection
INT. BLUE CURTAIN, HOSPITAL ROOM (SHARED) - CONTINUOUS

Other side of the blue divider curtain. We see Arthur's feet
shifting a little.

SLOWLY WE PULL OUT, backing out of the room. Leaving behind
whatever Arthur's doing to his mother on the other side of
the curtain.


INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

ARTHUR'S STUDYING A VHS TAPE OF "MURRAY FRANKLIN LIVE!", he
jots down notes in his worn notebook... Watches as A MOVIE
STAR GUEST come out... how he crosses the stage... how he
greets Murray... how he waves to the audience.... how he sits
down... if he cross his legs or not... studying how to be at
ease, how to be a person like other people.

Arthur gets up, adjusting the waist of his pants... Walks
across the living room like he's on the show, smiling, waving
to the "audience"... He mimes shaking Murray's hand... Mimes
unbuttoning his jacket and sits down, legs uncrossed. He
smiles and pulls out his worn notebook from his pocket--

ARTHUR
You wanna hear a joke, Murray?

He "waits" for Murray to answer. Then Arthur nods okay and
opens his notebook--

ARTHUR
(reading)
Okay. Knock-knock.

He "waits" for Murray to answer. Arthur nods okay and crosses
his legs--
74.


ARTHUR
(re-reading)
Okay. Knock-knock.

Arthur awkwardly pulls the .38 snub-nosed revolver from the
waist of his pants and puts it to his head and pulls the
trigger--

Click.

ARTHUR
(too himself)
Should I cross or uncross 'em...
Both feel completely unnatural.

Arthur gets up off the couch, shoving the gun back in his
pants and walks back across the living room. Does it again...
Waves to the "audience"... Mimes shaking Murray's hand...
Mimes unbuttoning his coat and sits down... Legs uncrossed.

ARTHUR
Thanks for having me on, Murray. I
can't tell you how much this means
to me, it's been a life long dream.
Okay I have a joke for you,-- Knock-
knock.

Arthur pulls the gun less awkwardly from his pants now, and
points it at his head-- CLICK.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur is alone in a hospital room behind a blue divider curtain, where he does something to his mother on the other side. He then moves to his mother's apartment and studies a VHS tape of a talk show, imitating the guests. Holding a gun to his head, he repeatedly practices a joke, unsure of whether to cross or uncross his legs. This internal conflict reflects Arthur's introspective and dark contemplation of his identity and purpose. The scene ends with Arthur repeating his routine, mimicking the talk show guest and practicing the joke.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional confrontation
  • Revelation of crucial information
  • Powerful character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and emotionally charged, revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. The tension and conflict between Arthur and his mother, as well as the revelation of his adoption, create a powerful and memorable moment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true identity and the impact it has on his mental state is intriguing and adds depth to the story. The scene effectively explores the themes of identity, family, and the consequences of secrets.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is significant as it reveals crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. It also sets up the conflict and motivation for Arthur's actions in the subsequent scenes.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a character studying and emulating a talk show guest is not entirely unique, the specific details and actions of the protagonist, such as miming and using a gun as a prop, add a fresh and unexpected twist. The authenticity of the character's actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The scene deepens our understanding of Arthur's complex psyche and his relationship with his mother.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change in this scene as he discovers his true identity and confronts his mother about it. This revelation deeply affects him and contributes to his descent into madness.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to study and emulate the behavior of a movie star guest on a talk show. This reflects Arthur's deeper need to be accepted and seen as a person like other people, as well as his desire to be successful and achieve his lifelong dream.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that he wants to improve his performance and comedic timing for his appearance on the talk show. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of preparing for his big moment in the spotlight.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and his mother is intense and emotionally charged. The revelation of his adoption and his mother's denial creates a high level of conflict and tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as Arthur faces internal conflicts and struggles with feeling unnatural in his attempts to emulate others. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these challenges and whether he will be successful in his talk show appearance.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Arthur discovers his true identity and confronts his mother about it. The revelation has significant consequences for Arthur's mental state and his actions in the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. It sets up the motivation for Arthur's actions in the subsequent scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it combines unexpected elements, such as Arthur miming and using a gun as a prop, with the familiar setting of a talk show preparation. The unpredictability adds tension and intrigue to the scene, keeping the audience guessing about Arthur's actions and motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Arthur's desire to be a person like other people and his struggle with feeling unnatural and awkward in his attempts to emulate them. This challenges his beliefs and values about what it means to be accepted and successful in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, including anger, confusion, and sadness. The intense confrontation between Arthur and his mother, as well as the revelation of his adoption, elicits a powerful emotional response from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and reveals important information about Arthur's past and his relationship with his mother. The confrontation between Arthur and his mother is particularly intense and emotionally charged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it provides insight into the protagonist's internal struggles and desires. The combination of descriptive narrative and dialogue keeps the reader or viewer invested in the character's journey and creates a sense of anticipation for his upcoming talk show appearance.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and anticipation. The slow pull out from the hospital room and the focused study of the VHS tape create a sense of focus and intensity, while Arthur's repeated actions and internal dialogue add a rhythm and pacing that keeps the scene engaging.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The use of capitalization and punctuation effectively conveys the tone and emphasis of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a specific location and time, introduces the protagonist's actions and thoughts, and ends with a cut to a new scene. The scene transitions smoothly and effectively conveys the progression of the protagonist's actions and emotions.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It jumps between different locations and actions without a clear connection or progression.
  • The use of a blue curtain and a shared hospital room feels disjointed and confusing. It's not clear what Arthur is doing to his mother on the other side of the curtain.
  • The transition from the hospital room to Arthur's mother's apartment is abrupt and doesn't flow smoothly.
  • The mimicking of Murray Franklin's actions and the repeated knock-knock joke feel repetitive and don't add much depth to the scene.
  • The use of the gun and Arthur's contemplation of suicide feels forced and doesn't contribute to the overall story or character development.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the purpose and connection between the hospital room and Arthur's mother's apartment. Consider rethinking the use of the blue curtain and find a more cohesive way to convey Arthur's actions.
  • Streamline the scene by focusing on one location and action that serves a clear purpose in advancing the story or developing the character.
  • Explore alternative ways to show Arthur's desire to be on the Murray Franklin show and his study of the guests. Find more meaningful and engaging actions or dialogue that reveal his aspirations and motivations.
  • Reconsider the use of the gun and Arthur's contemplation of suicide. If it doesn't serve a significant purpose in the story or character development, it may be best to remove it.
  • Consider adding more conflict or tension to the scene to make it more engaging and impactful. This could involve introducing another character or revealing new information that challenges Arthur's goals or beliefs.



Scene 31 -  A Shocking Act of Violence
INT. MOM'S APARTMENT, BATHROOM - NEXT AFTERNOON

ARTHUR'S LEANING OVER THE BATHROOM SINK, water running. He's
wearing rust colored pants and a white "beater" T-shirt.
"Rock n' Roll (Part 1)" blaring from a transistor radio.

Arthur lifts his head. He's dyed his hair green like his old
clown wig-- but he's missed spots. Some of his hair is still
its original color, sticking out all helter-skelter.

He does a quick spin to the music, gyrating his hips to the
thumping beat--

CUT TO:


INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - AFTERNOON

Arthur applying his mom's lipstick, outlining his large clown
smile, sitting at her vanity in front of the three-way
mirror. White grease-paint covering his face.
75.


He glances at a mask hanging off the corner of the mirror.
He's trying to copy how it looks. A copy of a copy of
himself.

He hears someone knocking on the front door--

Arthur opens a small drawer, rummaging around looking for
something. Finds some old rusty scissors and pockets them.
Before he closes the drawer, he notices some old photographs
of his mother. Sees one that makes him stop. He pulls it out--

ANGLE ON BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPH OF A YOUNG PENNY, laughing
at something or someone out of frame. She looks so young and
beautiful and happy. Flipping over the photo, sees a
handwritten note on the back, "Love your smile-- TW"

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, staring at the note on the back as he hears
LOUDER BANGING on the door. He glances up at his three
reflections in the mirrors--


INT. FRONT DOOR, MOM'S APARTMENT - AFTERNOON

Arthur unlocks the locks, keeping the security chain latched,
and cracks open the door,-- Sees Randall. Looks down, and
sees Gary next to him. Undoes the chain and opens the door
for them--

Randall and Gary get a look at Arthur's face, his dyed green
hair still wet, streaking white grease-paint smeared over his
face, red lips half done--

GARY
(re: his look)
Hey Arthur, how's it going?

ARTHUR
Oh hey guys. Come on in.

GARY
You get a new gig?

ARTHUR
No.

Arthur shakes his head no, steps aside so they can come in,
palming the scissors in his hand--

RANDALL
You must be goin' down to that
rally at City Hall, right? I hear
it's gonna be nuts.
76.


ARTHUR
Is that today?

Randall looks at him and laughs--

RANDALL
Yeah. What's with the make-up then?

Arthur shuts the door behind them. Locks the chain-lock.

ARTHUR
My mom died. I'm celebrating.

Randall and Gary share a look... that's weird.

RANDALL
(nodding)
Right, we heard. That's why we came
by, figured you could use some
cheering up.

Arthur stares at Randall.

ARTHUR
(beat)
That's sweet. But no, I feel good.
I stopped taking my medication. I
feel a lot better now.

RANDALL
Oh, okay. Well, good for you.
(beat)
Listen, I don't know if you heard,
but the cops have been coming
around the shop-- talking to all
the guys about those subway
murders. And um--

GARY
(interrupting)
They didn't talk to me.

RANDALL
(annoyed)
That's because the suspect was a
regular-sized person. If it was a
fucking midget you'd be in jail
right now.
(back to Arthur, sincere)
Anyway, Hoyt said they talked to
you and now they're looking for me,
and, and I just wanna know what you
said.
(MORE)
77.

RANDALL (CONT’D)
Make sure our stories line up,
bein' that you're my boy and all.

ARTHUR
Yeah, that's important. Yeah, that
makes a lot of sense. Thank you,
Randall. Thank you so much--

AND ARTHUR STABS THE SCISSORS AS DEEP AS HE CAN into
Randall's neck. Blood spurts. Randall screams. Gary stumbles
back in shock--

GARY
(screaming)
What the fuck what the fuck WHAT
THE FUCK--

Arthur pulls them out and jams them into Randall's eye before
he can react. The sound is sickening. Gary's screaming in the
background--

Randall blindly fights back, screaming in pain, flailing his
arms, his own blood blinding him--

Arthur grabs Randall by the head -- all of his pent up rage
and frustration pouring out of him -- AND SLAMS HIS HEAD
AGAINST THE WALL.

AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGAIN.

Arthur lets go of Randall's head and Randall drops to the
ground. Arthur leans back against the wall, out of breath,
kind of slides down the wall to the floor--

Sees Gary huddled in the corner, trembling with fear--

ARTHUR
(catching his breath)
Do you watch the Murray Franklin
show? I'm gonna be on tonight.

Gary doesn't answer. Doesn't move--

ARTHUR
It's okay, Gary. You can go.

Gary backs away toward the door. Arthur sits there for a
moment, breathing heavy, wipes Randall's blood off his face--

GARY (OS)
Hey, Art?

Arthur turns, sees Gary at the front door. He points up high
to the chain-lock. He can't reach it.
78.


Arthur just shakes his head to himself and gets up to unlock
the door.

He walks past Gary who's still trembling almost too afraid to
look up at him. Arthur leans over him and undoes the chain,
opens the door. Gary takes off, Arthur closing the door
behind him--

ANGLE ON ARTHUR, leaning his back against the wall. Takes out
a cigarette, lights it with his left hand and smokes.

Exhales deeply.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur dyes his hair green and applies his mother's lipstick before being interrupted by Randall and Gary. They discuss the rally at City Hall and the police investigation. Suddenly, Arthur violently attacks and kills Randall with scissors, repeatedly slamming his head against the wall. Gary, terrified, leaves while Arthur smokes a cigarette.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
  • Effective portrayal of violence and tension
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced and memorable

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, effectively conveying the dark and disturbing nature of the story. The violence and emotional turmoil create a sense of unease and anticipation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur's transformation into the Joker is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively portrays his descent into madness and the catalysts that push him over the edge.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Arthur's confrontation with his mother's past and his realization of his true identity. It is a crucial turning point in the story and sets the stage for the climax.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a character dealing with loss and struggling with their identity is not entirely unique, the specific actions and dialogue of the protagonist bring a fresh approach to familiar themes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Arthur and his mother, are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. Arthur's transformation and his mother's revelations add depth to their characters.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change in this scene, as he fully embraces his identity as the Joker and lets go of his previous self. His transformation is evident in his actions and emotions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to cope with the loss of his mother and find a sense of identity and purpose. His actions, such as dying his hair and applying makeup, reflect his desire to express himself and escape from his current reality.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain a facade of normalcy and hide his true emotions from his friends. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with his mother's death and the potential consequences of his actions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotional, with Arthur confronting his mother and learning the truth about his past. The violence and tension create a high level of conflict.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist's actions directly conflict with the expectations and values of the other characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome and the consequences of his actions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as Arthur confronts his mother and learns the truth about his identity. His emotional state and the potential consequences of his actions create a sense of urgency and tension.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about Arthur's past and his connection to Thomas Wayne. It sets up the climax and resolution of the story.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because it takes a sudden and violent turn, subverting the audience's expectations. The protagonist's actions are shocking and unexpected, adding to the unpredictability of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire for self-expression and societal expectations of conformity. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, as he struggles to find his place in a world that rejects his uniqueness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotionally impactful, with Arthur experiencing anger, sadness, and a sense of betrayal. The audience is drawn into his emotional turmoil and feels a strong connection to his character.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. However, it could be more nuanced and memorable.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a dramatic and unexpected turn of events. The tension and suspense created by the protagonist's actions and the reactions of the other characters keep the audience invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The rhythm of the scene matches the emotional intensity of the protagonist's actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively transitions between different locations within the apartment and builds tension leading up to the climax.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Arthur dying his hair green and applying his mother's lipstick, which shows his transformation into the Joker. However, the transition between the bathroom and his mother's bedroom feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Arthur, Randall, and Gary feels forced and lacks subtlety. The conversation about the rally at City Hall and the subway murders feels contrived and doesn't flow naturally.
  • The sudden and violent attack by Arthur on Randall and Gary is shocking and unexpected, but it lacks proper build-up and motivation. The scene could benefit from more foreshadowing or hints of Arthur's violent tendencies.
  • The description of the violence is graphic and disturbing, which may be too intense for some readers or viewers. Consider toning down the explicitness of the violence while still conveying the impact and shock of the scene.
  • The scene ends with Arthur talking to Gary and mentioning his upcoming appearance on the Murray Franklin show. This transition feels abrupt and could be better integrated into the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the bathroom and the bedroom to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Rewrite the dialogue between Arthur, Randall, and Gary to make it more natural and nuanced.
  • Provide more foreshadowing or hints of Arthur's violent tendencies to make the attack on Randall and Gary more believable and impactful.
  • Consider toning down the explicitness of the violence while still maintaining its shock value.
  • Integrate Arthur's mention of the Murray Franklin show more seamlessly into the scene to create a smoother transition.



Scene 32 -  The Joker's Transformation and Escape
INT. MOM'S BEDROOM, APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

(Over the following, we don't see Arthur's face. We don't
reveal his finished "look" just yet.)

CLOSE PICKING UP HIS NOTEBOOK, fanning through the pages--


INT. LIVING ROOM, MOM'S APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

CLOSE ON TAKING RANDALL'S WALLET OUT OF HIS BLOOD SOAKED
PANTS, pulling out all the cash.


INT. KITCHEN, MOM'S APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

ARTHUR'S POV FINISHING WRITING A NOTE, "...on Murray Franklin
Tonight -- Pleese Watch!"

CLOSE ON STUFFING THE NOTE AND ALL OF RANDALL'S MONEY into an
envelope--

TURNING ENVELOPE OVER, WRITING "SOFI" on the front.


INT. HALLWAY, APARTMENT BUILDING - LATE AFTERNOON

FOLLOWING BEHIND ARTHUR, walking down the hallway as if in
slow motion, heading for Sophie's apartment. His dyed green
hair now slicked back.

He's wearing an ill-fitting rust colored suit.

STILL FROM BEHIND, he lays the envelope in front of Sophie's
door, then pulls something else out of his pocket -- his body
obscuring what it is -- puts it down by her door and leaves.
79.


As he walks away down the hallway, we see what else Arthur
left behind--

HIS MAGIC WAND OF FLOWERS, at Sophie's door.

Hold.


INT. ELEVATOR, HALLWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

FROM BEHIND ARTHUR STEPPING ONTO THE ELEVATOR, TURNING TO
FACE US AS THE DOOR STARTS TO CLOSE, FINALLY REVEALING HIS
LOOK--

Green hair slicked back like one of the Wall Street assholes
he killed... White grease paint smeared over his face... red
nose painted on... blue peaks over and under his eyes... his
mother's red lipstick crudely outlining his smiling mouth...
Under the harsh flickering fluorescent lights, he looks like
an insane version of his mask.

Ding. And as the door closes on his new face, again we HEAR
the banging opening of Gary Glitter's "Rock n' Roll" but this
time it's "Part 2", the instrumental version--


EXT. STEEP STAIRWAY, TENEMENTS - LATE AFTERNOON

ARTHUR, NOW "JOKER" DANCING HIS WAY DOWN THE LONG STAIRCASE,
doing his own Bill "Bojangles" Robinson stair dance...
Skipping and twirling down fours steps, dancing and singing
along to the music in his head (and on the soundtrack)...

...Hopping back three...

...Shuffling on a step for a beat or two or three...

Sun setting in the sky.

DET. BURKE (OS)
(shouting)
Hey Arthur, we need to talk!

Joker looks back up the staircase rising above him and sees
Garrity and Burke all the way up at the top of the steps.

He dances up a few steps toward the cops..

...Pauses on the edge of a step...

...Teetering on the edge...

Then turns and dances as fast as he can back down the steps
and takes off running down the street--
80.


Way up behind him, Burke and Garrity start down the steep
staircase after him--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Arthur/Joker prepares a package for Sophie and leaves it at her door. He then transforms into the Joker with his iconic green hair, white grease paint, red nose, blue peaks, and red lipstick. As he dances down a steep stairway, Detective Burke and Garrity try to talk to him, but he evades them by running away.
Strengths
  • Intense and impactful confrontation
  • Strong performances
  • Revealing crucial information about the protagonist's identity
Weaknesses
  • Possible excessive violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with strong performances and a gripping storyline. It effectively builds suspense and reveals crucial information about the protagonist's identity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur discovering his true parentage and confronting Thomas Wayne adds depth and complexity to the story. It explores themes of identity, family, and the consequences of secrets.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed and engaging, with a clear progression of events. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne drives the narrative forward and sets up the climax of the film.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the overall concept of a character leaving a message and evading the police is not entirely unique, the specific actions and details, such as the protagonist's appearance and the use of a magic wand of flowers, add a fresh and unexpected twist. The authenticity of the character's actions and dialogue contributes to the originality, as they reflect the unique personality and mindset of the protagonist.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are explored in depth. Arthur's transformation into the Joker is particularly compelling, as he grapples with his past and confronts his father figure.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant transformation in this scene, as he learns the truth about his parentage and confronts his father figure. This revelation deeply affects his sense of self and sets him on a path towards becoming the Joker.

Internal Goal: 7

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that he is trying to leave a message for Sophie and possibly express his feelings for her. This reflects his deeper need for connection and validation, as well as his fear of rejection and loneliness.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to evade the police officers who are chasing him. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing, as he is trying to escape capture and maintain his freedom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is intense and emotionally charged. It creates a sense of tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is being chased by the police officers. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will escape or what the consequences of his actions will be, creating a sense of suspense and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as Arthur confronts Thomas Wayne and learns the truth about his parentage. The revelation has significant consequences for his identity and future actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Arthur's past and setting up the climax of the film. It deepens the conflict and raises the stakes for the protagonist.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the protagonist's appearance and the use of a magic wand of flowers. The audience is unsure of the protagonist's intentions and the outcome of his actions, adding a sense of suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's desire for personal freedom and self-expression, and society's expectations and norms. The protagonist's actions and appearance challenge the conventional values and beliefs of the society he lives in.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, including anger, sadness, and confusion. The revelation about Arthur's past and his confrontation with Thomas Wayne are particularly impactful.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. The confrontation between Arthur and Thomas Wayne is particularly powerful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines suspense, action, and character development. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's journey as he leaves a message for Sophie and evades the police. The tension and anticipation created by the concise and impactful narrative description, as well as the minimal but impactful dialogue, keep the audience invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and anticipation. The concise and impactful narrative description, as well as the minimal but impactful dialogue, keep the scene moving at a steady pace, allowing the audience to stay engaged and invested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, action lines, and dialogue are properly formatted and organized, making it easy to follow the sequence of events and understand the characters' actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a specific location and time, followed by a series of actions and dialogue that progress the story. The scene ends with a cliffhanger, creating anticipation for the next sequence.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It seems to be a transitional scene that doesn't contribute much to the overall story.
  • The actions and choices of the characters are not well motivated or explained. It's unclear why Arthur is taking Randall's wallet and writing a note to Sophie.
  • The visual descriptions are lacking detail and specificity, making it difficult to visualize the scene and understand the characters' actions.
  • The dialogue is minimal and doesn't provide much insight into the characters' thoughts or emotions.
  • The scene lacks tension or conflict, which makes it feel flat and uninteresting.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the purpose of the scene and how it advances the story or develops the characters.
  • Provide more specific and detailed visual descriptions to help the reader visualize the scene and understand the characters' actions.
  • Develop the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' thoughts, emotions, and motivations.
  • Introduce some conflict or tension to make the scene more engaging and compelling.
  • Consider reevaluating the placement of this scene within the overall script to ensure it serves a clear purpose and contributes to the story.



Scene 33 -  Escape and Chaos
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET, THE BRONX - CONTINUOUS

Joker running like his hair is on fire past guys hanging out
on the sidewalk, glances behind to see if the two cops are
chasing after him--

Doesn't see them yet, looks back forward and--

RUNS RIGHT INTO THE BACK of a black guy walking down the
street, almost running him over--

THE BLACK GUY TURNS AROUND, HE'S WEARING WHITE FACE "JOKER"
MAKE-UP.

JOKER TURNS SLOWING DOWN WALKING BACKWARD, staring at the
black guy's clown face, but before he can say or do anything,
sees Burke and Garrity turning onto the sidewalk from the
stairs--

Joker takes off across the street, Burke and Garrity chase
after him, "Rock 'n' Roll (Part 2)" still playing--


EXT. SIDE ALLEY, TENEMENTS - CONTINUOUS

Joker cuts through the garbage filled alley, the usual gang
of kids hanging out on their fire-escape--

Garrity and Burke run into the alley, the kids on the fire
escape start throwing whatever shit they can find at them,
hurling insults in Spanish at the cops--


EXT. SIDE ALLEY, JEROME AVE - CONTINUOUS

Joker darts out from the alley onto the busy avenue, the
elevated train entrance down across the way on the next
corners. Joker runs across the street without looking--

RUNNING RIGHT IN FRONT OF AN ONCOMING YELLOW CAB--

BAM!

The cab hits him and Joker goes crashing into the windshield.
Bounces up and over the car. Landing hard on the pavement--

Joker pops back up from getting hit. He's in pain. But not
dead.
81.


Burke has drawn his service revolver as he runs out of the
alley with Garrity--

Joker takes off running, limping down the street toward the
entrance for the elevated train, passing a few other people
dressed as clowns, some in "Joker" masks, others painted up
to look like the "Joker" mask...


EXT. ELEVATED TRAIN STATION, STEPS - CONTINUOUS

Joker hustling up the stairs, dripping sweat, his white
grease-paint running down his face, starts to slow down as he
mixes in with the crowd of clowns. He gets to the top of the
stairs, sees the waiting Jerome Ave/Downtown Express Train,
looks back and catches a glimpse of Garrity and Burke at the
bottom--


EXT. PLATFORM, ELEVATED TRAIN STATION - CONTINUOUS

Joker makes his way down the crowded platform, passengers
starting to file on the train. It's packed with protesters
heading to the rally at City Hall. Many carrying signs, most
of them look like Joker, or are dressed as clowns. Joker fits
in with all of them. "Rock 'n' Roll (Part 2)" ends.

Joker looks through the crowd of clowns and sees the two cops
getting to the top of the stairs, looking up and down the
platform for him. Pulling out their badges on chains from
around their necks. Identifying themselves as cops.

Joker's willing the doors to close. But they don't.

The two detectives run onto the train just as the doors are
finally closing--


INT. JEROME AVE/DOWNTOWN EXPRESS (MOVING) - CONTINUOUS

Joker moves through the loud train pushing through the rowdy
protesters-- Into the next car, all of them packed.

AS THE TRAIN GOES UNDERGROUND, the lights flicker on and off--
car GOING BLACK FOR A FEW SECONDS as the train turns and dips
and speeds down the tracks.

Joker glances back at Burke and Garrity pulling out their
badges on chains around their necks. Smith & Wesson service
revolvers by their sides. Shouting at the crowd, identifying
themselves as cops.

Joker hears some on the train shouting back in anger at the
police, keeps moving...
82.


past clown-faced protesters carrying signs, "RESIST"... "AM I
A CLOWN?"... "SAVE A CITY, KILL A YUPPIE"...

The two cops push through the car, scanning all the "clown"
faces... So many look like Joker. They just shove protesters
out of the way, shouting at them all the while. A few more
voices rising up in protest--

Joker feels Burke and Garrity behind him getting closer. In
the flickering light sees a DRUNK GUY (20's) wearing a
'Joker' mask and pulls it right off his face--

The drunk guy turns ready to fight.

He throws a punch at Joker, and Joker steps out of the way--

The guy pummels someone else--

A FIGHT BREAKS OUT, spilling down the car.

Joker slips the clown mask over his clown face--

AND JUST STANDS THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAOS, at home
with the mayhem all around him--

Garrity and Burke spot Joker's rust colored suit in the
middle of the unruly mob--

Burke pulls his gun--

DET. BURKE
(shouting)
EVERYBODY DOWN, GOTHAM PD!

The crowd doesn't drop to the ground. They just keep fighting
with each other--

Burke sees Joker just standing there. Keeps yelling for the
crowd to get down, get down, but they don't listen to him--

He starts shoving protesters down, out of the way-- and

AND THEN THE MOB TURNS ON HIM AND GARRITY, starts closing in
around them--

Garrity and Burke are pointing their guns at the crowd,
yelling panicked for them to back off, back off, and one
idiot reaches for Garrity's gun--

Bang.

Burke fires into the crowd, as the train pulls into the
station--
83.


A protester falls dead. The other clowns on the train go
crazy, turning on the cops.

As the subway doors open, the violence spills out onto the
platform, catch a glimpse of Joker walking away from the
chaos. Taking off the mask and dropping it at his side as he
heads up the stairs, disappearing into the crowd.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Joker tries to escape from two cops in the Bronx, running through the streets and accidentally running into a black guy wearing Joker makeup. He manages to evade the cops by blending in with a crowd of clowns on a train platform. However, chaos ensues when a fight breaks out on the crowded train and the cops are attacked by a mob of protesters. Amidst the violence, Joker walks away, takes off his mask, and disappears into the crowd.
Strengths
  • Intense and gripping
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some violent and chaotic scenes may be disturbing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly intense and gripping, with a strong sense of chaos and danger. It effectively builds tension and showcases the Joker's transformation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Joker's escape and the chaotic protests adds depth and excitement to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the Joker's escape and his confrontation with the police. It is fast-paced and engaging.

Originality: 9

This scene has a level of originality in its depiction of the protagonist's escape through a crowded neighborhood street and onto a train filled with clowns and protesters. The actions and dialogue of the characters feel authentic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially the Joker, are well-developed and their actions and emotions drive the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The Joker undergoes a significant transformation in this scene, both physically and mentally.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to escape from the police officers chasing him. This reflects his desire to avoid getting caught and his fear of being arrested.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to reach the elevated train and escape from the police officers. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing, which is to evade capture.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the Joker and the police, as well as the chaotic protests, creates a high level of tension and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces obstacles in the form of police officers, angry protesters, and a chaotic environment. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the Joker is being pursued by the police and his actions have consequences for the ongoing protests.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showing the Joker's escape and his increasing involvement in the protests.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the reader does not know how the protagonist will escape from the police officers or what obstacles he will encounter along the way. The presence of the clowns and protesters adds an element of unpredictability to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the clowns/protesters and the police officers. The clowns/protesters represent resistance and rebellion, while the police officers represent authority and order. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values as he navigates through the chaos.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of anger, confusion, and desperation, especially through the actions and expressions of the Joker.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and impactful, especially during the confrontation between the Joker and the police.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it is filled with action, suspense, and a sense of danger. The reader is invested in the protagonist's escape and wants to see if he will succeed in evading the police officers.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The fast-paced action and quick cuts between different locations keep the reader engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It is clear and easy to follow, allowing the reader to visualize the action and understand the sequence of events.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively builds tension and suspense as the protagonist evades the police officers and navigates through the chaotic environment.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Joker running into a black guy wearing Joker makeup. This moment feels random and doesn't serve much purpose in the overall story. It could be removed without affecting the plot.
  • The chase sequence through the neighborhood and alleyways feels chaotic and lacks clear direction. It's not clear why Joker is running or what his objective is.
  • The scene transitions from the neighborhood street to the side alley and then to the busy avenue without a clear sense of geography. It's difficult to visualize the locations and how they connect.
  • The violence and chaos in the scene, with the kids throwing things at the cops and the cab hitting Joker, feels excessive and gratuitous. It doesn't add much to the story and could be toned down or reimagined in a more meaningful way.
  • The scene ends with Joker blending in with a crowd of clowns on the train platform. This moment feels anticlimactic and doesn't provide a satisfying resolution to the chase sequence.
Suggestions
  • Consider reworking the chase sequence to have a clearer objective for Joker and a more coherent progression of events.
  • Reevaluate the violence and chaos in the scene to ensure it serves a purpose in the story and doesn't feel excessive or gratuitous.
  • Provide clearer visual descriptions of the locations and how they connect to improve the reader's understanding of the scene.
  • Consider adding a more satisfying resolution to the chase sequence, such as Joker successfully evading the police or achieving a specific goal.



Scene 34 -  Tense Discussions in an Empty Hallway
EXT. NCB STUDIOS, FRANKLIN THEATER - MIDTOWN - DUSK

WIDE SHOT, excited line of ticket holders waiting to get into
"Live with Murray Franklin!" The poster marquee box near the
door reads: "TONIGHT'S GUESTS. Lance Reynolds. Dr. Sally
Friedman. And Special Guest."


INT. STUDIO 4B, STAGE - FRANKLIN THEATER - NIGHT

WIDE SHOT, set for "LIVE WITH MURRAY FRANKLIN!" is dark...
but we can still make out his desk... the guest couch...
Ellis Drane's band stand... huge multicolored curtain. Three
TV monitors hang from the ceiling, facing the audience seats.
Three studio cameras on the floor, black cables strewn
everywhere.


INT. HALLWAY, FRANKLIN THEATER - NIGHT

WIDE SHOT, empty hallway.

Then Murray Franklin turns the corner, walking fast toward
the drab dressing rooms with his producer, GENE UFLAND
(50's), who's holding the show's rundown rolled up in his
hand. Murray looks a little more frayed around the edges than
he did in Arthur's fantasy.

GENE UFLAND
--You gotta see this nut for
yourself, Murray. I don't think we
can put him on. With all the shit
that's going on out there.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(in a sour mood; annoyed)
Jesus, Gene, I don't have time for
this. Cindy's been breaking my
balls all day.

GENE UFLAND
She's still mad at you about that
thing?
84.


MURRAY FRANKLIN
Four marriages, you'd think I'da
fuckin' learned something.
(then)
What do I gotta see? I already know
he's a nut. That's why we're
putting him on, it's a goof.

A young BLONDE INTERN walks by in the opposite direction. She
nervously smiles to them and keeps walking. Both men turn and
check out her ass. Murray winks at Gene.

GENE UFLAND
(just shakes his head, and
smiles)
I'm telling you, you gotta see him,
Murray. I think it's too risky, the
show's too big. It's worth too much
to blow it on this,-- this freak.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Murray Franklin and his producer, Gene Ufland, walk through an empty hallway in Franklin Theater. They discuss a potential guest for the show, whom Gene believes is too risky to have on. Murray dismisses Gene's concerns as a goof. The scene ends with Murray and Gene continuing their conversation about the potential guest.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strong performances
  • High emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with strong performances and a gripping conflict between the two characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Arthur confronting Murray Franklin on live television adds a layer of suspense and drama to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot of Arthur seeking revenge and confronting Murray Franklin is engaging and drives the tension of the scene.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a television studio and the conflicts between a talk show host and producer are familiar, the specific details and interactions between the characters add freshness and authenticity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and true to their roles in the entertainment industry.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Arthur and Murray Franklin are well-developed and their interactions are compelling.

Character Changes: 9

Arthur undergoes a significant character change as he confronts Murray Franklin, embracing his identity as the Joker.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to deal with the challenges and frustrations of his job as a talk show host. It reflects his deeper need for success and validation, as well as his fear of failure and criticism.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to decide whether or not to put a 'nut' on the show, despite the risks and potential consequences. It reflects the immediate circumstances of the show's production and the challenges of balancing entertainment value with potential controversy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Arthur and Murray Franklin is intense and escalates throughout the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderately strong. The protagonist's desire to include the controversial guest on the show is met with resistance from the producer, who believes it is too risky. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome and the potential consequences of the protagonist's decision.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high as Arthur confronts Murray Franklin on live television, risking his own life and reputation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Arthur's transformation into the Joker and setting up the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces a potential controversial guest and presents conflicting opinions about whether to include him on the show. The audience is left wondering what decision the protagonist will make and how it will impact the show.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Murray Franklin and Gene Ufland. Murray sees putting the 'nut' on the show as a goof and an opportunity for entertainment, while Gene believes it is too risky and could jeopardize the show's success. This conflict challenges Murray's belief in taking risks for the sake of entertainment and his worldview that the show's value is in its ability to entertain.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, with Arthur's anger and Murray Franklin's fear and desperation palpable.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue between Arthur and Murray Franklin is intense and impactful, revealing their conflicting emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces conflicts and challenges for the protagonist, provides humorous and relatable dialogue, and creates a sense of anticipation for the upcoming show. The interactions between the characters and the dynamic setting contribute to the overall engagement.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and flow. The dialogue exchanges are well-timed, and the scene transitions smoothly between different locations. The pacing keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The descriptions are clear and concise, and the dialogue is properly formatted and attributed to the characters.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot of the location, moves to the main set, and then transitions to a hallway for a conversation between the protagonist and another character. The scene flows smoothly and logically, providing necessary information and setting up conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a wide shot of the NCB Studios and the line of ticket holders waiting to get into 'Live with Murray Franklin.' This shot helps establish the setting and the anticipation of the audience.
  • The transition to the studio stage is well done, with a wide shot showing the set for 'Live with Murray Franklin.' The description of the set and the cameras helps create a visual image of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Murray Franklin and Gene Ufland in the hallway provides some insight into their characters and their relationship. However, the conversation about Cindy and the thing she's mad about feels unnecessary and doesn't add much to the scene.
  • The interaction with the young blonde intern is inappropriate and doesn't contribute to the story. It could be removed without affecting the scene.
  • The conversation between Murray and Gene about putting the 'nut' on the show feels repetitive and could be condensed to make the dialogue more concise.
  • The scene ends with a glimpse of Joker walking away from the chaos on the subway platform. This provides a sense of mystery and leaves the reader wanting to know more about what will happen next.
Suggestions
  • Consider removing the conversation about Cindy and the thing she's mad about, as it doesn't add much to the scene.
  • Remove the inappropriate interaction with the young blonde intern, as it doesn't contribute to the story.
  • Condense the dialogue between Murray and Gene about putting the 'nut' on the show to make it more concise.
  • Consider adding more tension or conflict to the scene to make it more engaging.
  • Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding of the scene.



Scene 35 -  Joker Meets Murray Franklin
INT. DRESSING ROOM, FRANKLIN THEATER - CONTINUOUS

Joker's sitting on a small couch in the cramped dressing
room, watching the local news on a TV that's mounted up on
the wall, live shots from the subway station where Burke shot
the protestor, footage of the City Hall rally, clashes with
police.

He's cleaned himself up as best he could... white grease-
paint smeared more evenly over his face, green dyed hair
slicked back in place. Red lips redone.

Murray and his producer Gene open the dressing room door
without knocking--

Joker gets up off the couch and goes to shake Murray's hand.
Murray pauses when he sees Joker's face.

JOKER
(shakes Murray's hand;
effusive)
Murray,--

GENE UFLAND
It's Mr. Franklin, buddy.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Oh shut up, Gene. Who gives a shit.
85.


JOKER
Thanks, Murray. I feel like I know
you,-- I've been watching you
forever. My mother never missed a
show.

Murray nods not listening, he's heard this before.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
So what's with the face? Are you
part of the protests?

JOKER
No, I don't believe in any of that.
I don't believe in anything. I just
thought it would be good for my
act.

GENE UFLAND
(upset)
Your act? Did you hear what
happened on the subway? Some clown
got killed.

Joker looks like he's about to bust out laughing. All of that
news is playing out on the TV behind him. He takes a deep
breath. Swallows the laugh.

Beat.

JOKER
No. I hadn't heard.

GENE UFLAND
(turns to Murray)
-- the audience is gonna go crazy
if you put him on. It was okay
maybe for a bit, but not a whole
segment.

Murray thinks about it for a beat.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
No. I think it works. We're gonna
go with it.

Gene rubs his temples, he doesn't like this, but Murray is
the boss.

JOKER
Thank you, Murray.
86.


MURRAY FRANKLIN
(flashes his bemused
smile; condescending)
Couple rules though,-- No cursing,
no off-color material, we do a
clean show, okay? You'll be on
after Dr. Sally. Someone will come
and get you. Good?

Joker nods good. Smiles back at Murray.

Murray and Gene turn to go, exchanging smirks with each other
as they walk out, making light of Joker who we see behind
them still standing there.

JOKER
Hey Murray,-- one small thing? When
you bring me out, can you introduce
me as “Joker”?

Murray and Gene look back at him

GENE UFLAND
What? You don’t want to use your
real name?

JOKER
Honestly, I don't even know what my
real name is.

Joker smiles, the guys can't tell if he's kidding or not.

JOKER
Besides, that's what you called me
on the show, Murray. A joker.
Remember?

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(to Gene; trying not to
crack up)
Did I?

GENE UFLAND
I have no idea.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(turns back to Joker)
Well, if you say so, kid. Joker it
is.

Murray starts to laugh at Joker as he closes the dressing
room door, shutting it right in his face.

CUT TO:
87.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Joker, cleaned up and in his stage makeup, meets with Murray Franklin and Gene Ufland in the dressing room of the Franklin Theater. They discuss Joker's appearance on the show and his motivations. Despite Gene's objections, Murray decides to have Joker on the show. The scene ends with Murray and Gene leaving the dressing room, having decided to have Joker on the show, and Joker requesting to be introduced as 'Joker'.
Strengths
  • Intense performances
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Emotional impact
  • Character transformation
Weaknesses
  • None

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with strong performances and a pivotal moment in the story. It effectively sets up the climax of the film.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene is innovative, as it explores the transformation of a troubled individual into a notorious villain. It delves into themes of identity, mental illness, and societal disillusionment.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial to the overall story, as it marks a turning point for the protagonist and sets up the final act. It is filled with tension and conflict.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While it explores familiar themes of identity and societal expectations, it presents them in a fresh and compelling way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their interactions are compelling. Arthur's transformation into the Joker is particularly captivating.

Character Changes: 10

The character of Arthur undergoes a significant transformation in the scene, fully embracing his identity as the Joker and rejecting his former self. This change sets the stage for the climax of the film.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to impress Murray Franklin and secure his spot on the show. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition, as well as his desire to be seen and accepted by society.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince Murray Franklin to introduce him as 'Joker' on the show. This reflects the immediate challenge of establishing his new identity and persona.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, both internally and externally. Arthur confronts Murray Franklin and reveals his true identity, leading to a clash of ideologies and a physical altercation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as Murray Franklin and Gene initially resist the protagonist's request. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Arthur confronts Murray Franklin on live television and risks his own safety and reputation. The outcome of this confrontation has significant consequences for the character and the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing Arthur's true identity and setting up the final act. It introduces new conflicts and escalates the tension.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how Murray Franklin will react to the protagonist's request. The protagonist's ambiguous behavior also adds to the unpredictability of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's belief in not believing in anything and the societal values and expectations represented by Murray Franklin and Gene. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and forces him to confront the consequences of his actions and choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, ranging from anger and despair to empowerment and defiance. It is a pivotal moment for the protagonist and resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful, with memorable lines that reveal the inner turmoil of the characters. It effectively conveys their emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the protagonist and the other characters, creating tension and anticipation. The sharp and witty dialogue also keeps the audience engaged.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and anticipation. The dialogue and narrative description are concise and well-paced, keeping the scene engaging.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and presents the conflict and resolution in a clear and coherent manner.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Joker sitting on a small couch in the cramped dressing room, watching the local news on a TV. This opening shot effectively sets the tone and establishes the setting.
  • The dialogue between Joker, Murray, and Gene is well-written and captures the tension and dynamic between the characters. Joker's admiration for Murray and his desire to be introduced as 'Joker' adds depth to his character.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the storytelling. The description of Joker's appearance and the news playing on the TV are good examples of visual elements that help create a vivid image in the reader's mind.
  • The conflict between Gene and Murray regarding whether to have Joker on the show could be further developed to increase the stakes and create more tension. This conflict is resolved too quickly and easily, without much consequence.
  • Additionally, the scene could benefit from more subtext and subplots to add layers to the story. For example, exploring Joker's motivations for wanting to be on the show and the potential consequences of his appearance could add depth to the scene.
  • Overall, the scene effectively introduces Joker's character and sets up his appearance on the show, but it could be further developed to enhance the tension, visual storytelling, and subtext.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the storytelling, such as describing the dressing room in more detail or incorporating visual cues that reflect Joker's state of mind.
  • Develop the conflict between Gene and Murray regarding whether to have Joker on the show, and explore the potential consequences of Joker's appearance.
  • Add subplots or subtext to add depth to the scene and create more layers in the storytelling.
  • Consider revisiting the resolution of the conflict between Gene and Murray to make it more impactful and consequential.
  • Continue to explore Joker's motivations for wanting to be on the show and the potential consequences of his appearance to add depth to the scene.



Scene 36 -  Joker's Awkward Talk Show Appearance
INT. BACKSTAGE, BEHIND CURTAIN - STUDIO 4B - NIGHT

JOKER'S BACKSTAGE AT THE EDGE OF THE CURTAIN, trying to watch
the show through a slim gap. Behind him there's a monitor on
a cart playing the live feed.

He moves the curtain aside to get a better look-- Glimpses
Murray laughing, finishing up talking to noted sex therapist
DR. SALLY FRIEDMAN (60's), sitting next to Barry O'Donnell.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
-- I'll try it, but I'm not sure my
wife will let me do it. Maybe my
next wife.

The audience laughs.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(laughs; to Dr. Sally)
Will you stick around? You gotta
see our next guest for yourself.
I'm pretty sure he could use a
doctor.

DR. SALLY FRIEDMAN
Oh. Does he have sexual problems?

MURRAY FRANKLIN
He looks like he's got a lot of
problems.

Another big laugh.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(turns, looks into camera)
Alright folks, don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back.

APPLAUSE SIGN LIGHTS UP. Everyone claps. Joker keeps watching
Murray through the slim gap at the end of the curtain. Hears
the FLOOR MANAGER shout, "And we're out. Back in three."

Joker adjusts the gun in the waist of his pants. Takes a deep
breath.


INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH, STUDIO 4B - NIGHT

Perched one story above the studio. There's a long console
where the DIRECTOR sits in front of a gooseneck microphone,
looking over a double-bank of monitors.
88.


Sitting next to him are the ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR who times the
show, and the TECHNICAL DIRECTOR who operates the board. The
monitor showing the live feed is playing a commercial.

ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR
Back in 30 seconds.

DIRECTOR
Okay, cue the clip. We'll come to
it straight out of break.

ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR
Five... Four... Three...

DIRECTOR
Roll clip. Put up the show graphic.

ON THE SHOW MONITOR, video of Joker's original stand-up
performance comes up with the show's graphic in the lower
right of the screen.


INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

ON THE SET, Murray watches the clip on the monitor above his
desk, can't help but laugh. Sees the FLOOR MANAGER counting
him down silently with her fingers... Three... Two... points
to Camera One.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(looking into camera)
O-kay, you may have seen that clip
of our next guest when we first
played it a couple weeks ago. Now
before he comes out, I just want to
say that we're all heartbroken at
what's going on in the city
tonight. But, this is how he wanted
to come out, and honestly I think
we could all use a good laugh. So,
please welcome-- Joker.

BEHIND THE SHIMMERING MULTICOLORED CURTAIN, Joker gathers
himself, ready for his moment. Doesn't hear his introduction
or see a STAGEHAND pull open the curtain for him to go out--

ON SET, THE CURTAIN'S OPEN, Ellis Drane and his Jazz
Orchestra are playing Joker on. He doesn't come out. Murray
looks over to the empty space in the curtain.

The audience laughs.

BEHIND THE CURTAIN, Joker sees the stagehand motioning for
him to go out on stage.
89.


Joker starts out, pausing when he takes a step into the
bright lights. The stagehand doesn't see him stop, and drops
the curtain back on Joker before the audience can really see
his face--

Tangling Joker up in the curtain.

The audience keeps laughing thinking it's part of his act.
The band keeps playing him on. Joker untangles himself from
the curtain and the audience gets a good look at him.

Some continue laughing. A few boo. Most don't know what to
make of him.

Joker walks across the stage, forgetting to wave like he
practiced. He trips over the riser surrounding the set when
he goes to shake Murray's hand. Almost falls on him.

Murray tries not to crack up. The audience laughs. Thinks
it's part of Joker's act.

Joker reaches out to hug Dr. Sally as she goes in for a
handshake. Another awkward moment. More laughs.

Barry O'Donnell stands there with his hands up, as if to say
"what about me?"

Joker ignores him and just sits down next to Murray. Crosses
and uncrosses his legs. Can't get comfortable. Murray shakes
his head.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
So, ahhh, thanks for coming on the
show. But I gotta tell ya, with
what happened at City Hall today,
I'm sure many of our viewers here,
and at home, might find this look
of yours in poor taste.

Joker's not listening to Murray. He's mesmerized by all the
lights shining on him... all the eyes on him... he doesn't
answer Murray.

Nervous laughter from the audience.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(tries again)
So... can you tell us why you're
dressed like this? A lot of
protesters are going with this
look, right? City seems to be full
of clowns these days.

A long uncomfortable beat.
90.


JOKER
(glances at the studio
audience; awkward)
Yeah. Isn't it great?
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Joker, backstage at a talk show, tries to watch the show through a slim gap in the curtain. Murray Franklin finishes talking to Dr. Sally Friedman and jokes about his wife, making the audience laugh. Murray introduces Joker as the next guest. Joker adjusts the gun in his waist and takes a deep breath. However, when Joker finally comes out on stage, he trips over the curtain and almost falls on Murray. He sits down next to Murray but can't get comfortable. Murray asks Joker about his look, but Joker is mesmerized by the lights and doesn't answer. Murray tries again, asking about the clown look, but Joker responds with an awkward comment. Murray laughs and shuts the dressing room door in Joker's face, ending the scene with tension and awkwardness.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Character development
  • Exploration of societal themes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up the climax of the film. The Joker's entrance on the talk show is a pivotal moment that showcases his transformation into the iconic character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Joker's appearance on a talk show adds a layer of suspense and unpredictability to the scene. It also explores the theme of societal chaos and the blurred line between comedy and tragedy.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the Joker's entrance on the talk show and his interaction with Murray Franklin. It effectively builds tension and sets up the climax of the film.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a character preparing to go on a talk show is not entirely unique, the specific actions and dialogue of the characters, as well as the portrayal of Joker's unconventional appearance, add freshness to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene focuses on the Joker and Murray Franklin, showcasing their contrasting personalities and the power dynamic between them. The Joker's transformation into his iconic persona is a significant character development.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant character change in the scene, fully embracing his transformation into the iconic villain. His actions and demeanor reflect his descent into madness.

Internal Goal: 8

Joker's internal goal in this scene is to make a memorable impression on the audience and gain their approval. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition, as well as his desire to be seen and understood.

External Goal: 7

Joker's external goal in this scene is to successfully perform his stand-up routine on the talk show. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of presenting himself to a large audience and making them laugh.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from the tension between the Joker and Murray Franklin, as well as the underlying societal unrest. The Joker's unpredictable behavior adds to the conflict.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong. While there is some opposition between Joker's appearance and societal expectations, it is not a major obstacle that the audience is unsure how it will go. The audience's reaction to Joker is mixed, with some laughing and others booing.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the Joker's appearance on the talk show has the potential to further escalate the societal unrest and chaos. The outcome of the interaction between the Joker and Murray Franklin is crucial.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the climax of the film and showcasing the Joker's transformation. It also deepens the conflict between the Joker and Murray Franklin.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected moments, such as Joker tripping over the riser and almost falling on Murray. These moments add a sense of surprise and unpredictability to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Joker's unconventional appearance and the societal expectation of appropriate behavior. This challenges Joker's beliefs and values, as he is aware that his appearance may be seen as in poor taste by some, but he chooses to embrace it as a form of self-expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, with the tension and unease surrounding the Joker's appearance. The audience's mixed reactions to the Joker's presence add to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is tense and impactful, with the Joker's unconventional responses adding to the unsettling atmosphere. Murray Franklin's attempts at humor create a stark contrast.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of anticipation and tension as Joker prepares to go on stage. The dialogue and interactions between the characters are intriguing and keep the audience interested in what will happen next.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of rhythm and building tension. The scene progresses at a steady pace, with moments of humor and anticipation interspersed throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters and their actions, and progresses with dialogue and interactions between the characters. The scene flows smoothly and effectively conveys the necessary information and emotions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Joker backstage, trying to watch the show through a slim gap in the curtain. This creates a sense of anticipation and tension as the audience wonders what Joker is planning.
  • The dialogue between Murray Franklin and Dr. Sally Friedman adds some comedic moments and helps establish the tone of the talk show.
  • Joker's entrance onto the stage is awkward and clumsy, which is in line with his character. However, the execution of this moment could be improved to make it funnier and more impactful.
  • The interaction between Joker and Murray Franklin lacks clear communication and purpose. Joker seems distracted and disinterested, which makes it difficult for the audience to connect with him.
  • The dialogue between Murray Franklin and Joker lacks depth and substance. It would be beneficial to explore their motivations and beliefs more explicitly to create a more engaging and thought-provoking conversation.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or conclusion, leaving the audience wanting more.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical comedy and visual gags to Joker's entrance onto the stage to enhance the comedic effect.
  • Develop the dialogue between Joker and Murray Franklin to reveal more about their characters and their conflicting perspectives on society.
  • Give Joker a clear objective or goal for appearing on the show to create a stronger sense of purpose and drive in the scene.
  • Consider adding a moment of vulnerability or emotional depth for Joker to make him more relatable and sympathetic to the audience.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or conclusion to the scene that leaves the audience with a sense of closure or anticipation for what will happen next.



Scene 37 -  Joker's Dark Joke
INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH, STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

Dead silence in the booth, everybody's just staring at the
monitors.

TECHNICAL DIRECTOR
(looks to the director)
This guy's got nothing.

DIRECTOR
(hits the producer's talk
button; into the mic)
Gene, what the hell? You wanna kill
this?


INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - CONTINUOUS

Murray glances over at his producer Gene Ufland, who's
sitting off-camera on a director's chair by a monitor. Gene
shrugs at him.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(smiles; trying to save
the interview)
So when we talked earlier, you
mentioned that you aren't
political. That this look isn't a
political statement.

JOKER
That's right. I'm not political,
Murray. I'm just trying to make
people laugh.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(beat; smiles)
How's that goin' for ya?

The studio audience laughs at Joker. Joker doesn't answer
Murray, just smiles to himself.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(trying not to laugh)
Have you been working on any new
material? Do you want to tell us a
joke now?
91.


The audience claps, egging Joker on to tell a joke.

Joker reaches into his jacket pocket and--

Pulls out his worn notebook. Looks through it, sees Bruce
Wayne's photo, pauses for a moment then turns the page. Finds
the joke--

JOKER
(reading)
Okay. Here's one. Knock-knock.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
And you had to look that up?

Studio audience laughs.

JOKER
(nods; reads it again)
I want to get it right. Knock
knock.

Murray makes a face like, "Okay, I’ll go along with this."

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Who’s there?

Joker looks up from his notebook-- Sees the audience looking
back at him, waiting for the punchline.

Decides to finish the joke--

JOKER
It's the police, ma'am. Your son
has been hit by a drunk driver.
He's dead.

A few in the audience groan. A couple even laugh.

Ellis Drane plays "wha-wha-wha-whuuuuh" on his trumpet from
the band stand. Barry O'Donnell clears his throat.

DR. SALLY FRIEDMAN
Ahhhh! No, no,-- You can not joke
about that.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(shakes his head;
irritated)
Yeah, that's not funny, that's not
the kind of humor we do on this
show.
92.


Murray glances over at Gene in the wings. He gives him the
"wrap it up" sign.

JOKER
(just keeps going, on a
roll)
Sorry. It's been a rough few weeks,
Murray. Ever since I killed those
three Wall Street guys.

Beat.

Studio audience can't tell if he's joking or not. Murray
can't either.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(looks at him confused)
Okay. I'm waiting for the
punchline.

JOKER
There is no punchline. It's not a
joke.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the technical director informs the director that Joker has nothing to say. The director contacts the producer to discuss whether to continue the interview. Meanwhile, on the talk show set, Murray Franklin tries to salvage the interview by asking Joker about his political stance and new material. Joker responds with a dark joke that shocks the audience and the host, leaving them confused and uncomfortable.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strong character development
  • Unsettling atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Some audience members may find the scene too disturbing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, effectively portraying the Joker's transformation and the tension between him and Murray Franklin.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Joker's appearance on a talk show and his unpredictable behavior is intriguing and adds depth to the character.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the Joker's interview on the talk show and his interaction with Murray Franklin.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the talk show interview setting is familiar, the protagonist's dark and controversial humor adds a fresh and unique element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly the Joker and Murray Franklin, are well-developed and their dynamic creates a compelling conflict.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant change in this scene, fully embracing his chaotic persona and rejecting societal expectations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make people laugh and prove himself as a comedian. This reflects his deeper desire for validation and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to save the interview and maintain his reputation as a comedian. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with a difficult interview situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the Joker and Murray Franklin creates a high level of tension and unpredictability.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces resistance from the talk show host and the audience's expectations. The audience doesn't know how the situation will go, adding to the opposition.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the Joker's actions during the interview have the potential to cause chaos and violence.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the Joker's transformation and setting up the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how the protagonist will handle the difficult interview situation and what controversial joke he will tell. The unexpected punchline adds to the unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's dark and controversial humor and the talk show host's expectation of a different kind of humor. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values about comedy and what is considered acceptable.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly discomfort and unease, as the Joker's behavior becomes increasingly unsettling.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense and showcases the Joker's dark humor and Murray Franklin's attempts to control the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates tension and anticipation through the clash of humor styles and the unpredictable actions of the protagonist. The audience is drawn into the scene and wants to see how it will unfold.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and anticipation. The dialogue and actions are well-timed, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with a setup in the director's booth, transitions to the talk show set, and concludes with the protagonist's controversial joke.


Critique
  • The scene starts with dead silence in the director's booth, which creates a sense of tension and anticipation. However, the dialogue between the technical director and the director feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from more context or build-up.
  • The interaction between Murray Franklin and his producer Gene Ufland is interesting, but it lacks depth. It would be helpful to explore their relationship and dynamics further to add more complexity to the scene.
  • Joker's response to Murray's question about his political stance feels a bit vague and could be more specific. It would be beneficial to delve deeper into Joker's motivations and beliefs to make his character more compelling.
  • The joke that Joker tells feels dark and shocking, which is in line with his character. However, the reaction from the audience and Murray Franklin is not clearly defined. It would be helpful to show their reactions more explicitly to create a stronger impact.
  • The scene ends with Murray Franklin expressing his irritation and confusion, but it feels a bit abrupt. It would be beneficial to add a bit more resolution or closure to the scene to provide a smoother transition to the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context or build-up to the dialogue between the technical director and the director in the director's booth.
  • Further explore the relationship and dynamics between Murray Franklin and his producer Gene Ufland to add depth to the scene.
  • Develop Joker's motivations and beliefs more explicitly to make his character more compelling.
  • Show the reactions of the audience and Murray Franklin more explicitly to create a stronger impact with Joker's joke.
  • Add a bit more resolution or closure to the scene to provide a smoother transition to the next scene.



Scene 38 -  Joker's Shocking Confession
INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH, STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

The director stares at the monitor.

DIRECTOR
Did he just confess to killing the
Wall Street Three?

TECHNICAL DIRECTOR
(horrified)
Yeah. I think he did.

ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR
(turns to the director,
nods)
He definitely did.

DIRECTOR
Jesus Christ.
(hits the camera talk
button, into mic)
Camera Three, get in close.

ANGLE ON MONITOR, Camera Three slowly zooming in close on
Joker's face.
93.


INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - CONTINUOUS

Gene Ufland motions for Murray to kill the interview. Murray
shakes his head to himself. This is a big "get," it could be
great television.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(turns back to Joker; with
gravitas)
You're serious, aren't you? You're
telling us you killed those three
young men on the subway. Why should
we believe you?

JOKER
(shrugs)
I got nothing left to lose, Murray.
Nothing can hurt me anymore. This
is my fate, my life is nothing but
a comedy.


INT. SOPHIE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Sophie's sitting on her couch watching this interview play
out on TV. GiGi's asleep next to her. The open envelope and
the money are lying on the coffee table. No sign of the
flowers anywhere.

MURRAY FRANKLIN (ON TV)
Let me get this straight, you think
killing those guys is funny?

JOKER (ON TV)
Comedy is sub, subjective, isn't
that what they say? All of you, the
system that knows so much, you
decide what's right or wrong.
What's real or what's made up. The
same way you decide what's funny or
not.

Sophie edges forward on the couch, can almost see a hint of
agreement on her face.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, the director and his team watch the interview with Joker on a monitor in the director's booth. They are shocked when Joker confesses to killing the Wall Street Three. The director instructs Camera Three to zoom in on Joker's face. Meanwhile, on the talk show set, Murray Franklin questions Joker about the murders. Sophie watches the interview on TV in her apartment. The main conflict in this scene is Joker's confession to the murders and the shock it causes. The emotional tone is tense and dramatic. The scene ends with Joker stating that there is no punchline and that it's not a joke.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Strong performances
  • Compelling plot twists
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with strong performances and a significant turning point in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Joker's transformation and his confrontation with his past is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot takes a major turn as the Joker learns the truth about his adoption and confronts Thomas Wayne, leading to a violent confrontation.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through the protagonist's confession on live television, which creates a shocking and unexpected twist. The dialogue and actions of the characters feel authentic and true to their motivations and beliefs.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly the Joker and Thomas Wayne, are well-developed and their interactions are intense and impactful.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant character change as he fully embraces his Joker persona and lets go of his previous identity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his belief that his life is a comedy and that nothing can hurt him anymore. This reflects his deeper desire for recognition and validation, as well as his fear of being ignored or dismissed.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make a shocking confession on live television. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing, which is to gain attention and make a statement.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the Joker and Thomas Wayne, as well as the internal conflict within the Joker himself, is intense and drives the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist's confession challenges the beliefs and values of the other characters. The audience is left uncertain about how they will react to this revelation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the Joker confronts Thomas Wayne and faces the consequences of his actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the truth about the Joker's past and setting up the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the protagonist's confession on live television is unexpected and creates a shift in the narrative. The audience is left wondering how this revelation will impact the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

Yes, there is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene. The conflict is between the protagonist's belief that comedy is subjective and the system's belief that it can determine what is right or wrong, real or made up. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and his belief in his own agency.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotional, with the Joker experiencing a range of emotions from anger to despair.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, particularly during the confrontation between the Joker and Thomas Wayne.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a dramatic and unexpected turn of events. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, and the actions of the characters create tension and suspense.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The dialogue and actions are paced in a way that keeps the reader engaged and interested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The scene headings, character names, and dialogue are properly formatted and easy to follow.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by dialogue and action lines that progress the scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a sense of shock and disbelief as the director and technical director realize that Joker has confessed to killing the Wall Street Three. This moment could be heightened by adding more reaction shots from the crew, emphasizing their horror and disbelief.
  • The dialogue between the director and technical director is a bit on-the-nose, with them explicitly stating what just happened. It would be more effective to show their reactions through their facial expressions and body language.
  • The decision to zoom in on Joker's face is a good one, as it adds to the tension and allows the audience to see the impact of his confession. However, the description could be more specific in terms of how close the camera gets and the emotions conveyed on Joker's face.
  • The interaction between Gene Ufland and Murray Franklin is interesting, as it shows the conflict between wanting to end the interview and the potential for great television. However, their motivations and emotions could be further explored to add depth to the scene.
  • Joker's response to Murray's question about why they should believe him could be more impactful. It currently feels a bit vague and could benefit from more specific and powerful language.
  • The transition to Sophie's apartment and her reaction to the interview could be smoother. It's not clear how much time has passed and why she is watching the interview in the first place.
  • The dialogue between Murray and Joker about comedy and subjectivity is thought-provoking, but it could be more nuanced and explore the themes of the film in a deeper way.
  • The scene ends with Sophie showing a hint of agreement with Joker's perspective, but it's not clear what her exact thoughts are or how this revelation will impact her character moving forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding reaction shots from the crew to emphasize their shock and disbelief.
  • Instead of explicitly stating what just happened, show the reactions of the director and technical director through their facial expressions and body language.
  • Provide more specific details about the camera zooming in on Joker's face, including the distance and the emotions conveyed.
  • Further explore the motivations and emotions of Gene Ufland and Murray Franklin to add depth to their conflict.
  • Revise Joker's response to Murray's question to make it more impactful and specific.
  • Smoothly transition to Sophie's apartment and provide more context for why she is watching the interview.
  • Deepen the dialogue between Murray and Joker to explore the themes of comedy and subjectivity in a more nuanced way.
  • Clarify Sophie's thoughts and the impact of Joker's perspective on her character.



Scene 39 -  Joker's Confrontation on Murray Franklin's Show
INT. TALK SHOW SET, STAGE - STUDIO 4B - CONTINUOUS

Back on set, we can tell by the way Murray's now interviewing
Joker, talking to him slower, more thoughtfully, that he
thinks this is gonna get him an Emmy... Maybe even a Peabody.
94.


MURRAY FRANKLIN
(beat)
Okay, I think I understand. You did
it to start a movement, to become a
symbol.

JOKER
C'mon, Murray, do I look like the
kind of clown who could start a
movement? I killed those guys
because they were awful.
Everybody's awful these days. It's
enough to make anyone crazy.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
So that's it, huh, you're crazy.
That's your defense for killing
three young men? Because they were
mean to you?

JOKER
No. They couldn't carry a tune to
save their lives.

Some audible groans from the audience.

JOKER
Why is everyone so upset about
these guys? Because Thomas Wayne
went and cried about them on TV?

MURRAY FRANKLIN
You have a problem with Thomas
Wayne, too?

JOKER
Yeah. I do. Everything comes so
easy for him.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
And what's wrong with that?

JOKER
Have you seen what it's like out
there, Murray? Do you ever actually
leave this studio? Everybody just
yells and screams at each other.
Nobody's civil anymore. Nobody
thinks what it's like to be the
other guy. You think men like
Thomas Wayne ever think what it's
like to be a guy like me? To be
anybody but themselves.
(MORE)
95.

JOKER (CONT’D)
(shaking his head, voice
rising)
They don't. They think we'll all
just sit there and take it like
good little boys. That we won't go
wild. Well, this is for all of you
out there.

Joker "howls at the moon." It's fucking weird.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
So much self-pity, Arthur. You
sound like you're making excuses
for killing three young men. Not
everybody's awful.

JOKER
You're awful, Murray.

There is no more laughter. The audience is watching this
exchange with full attention.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
Me? How am I awful?

JOKER
Playing my video, inviting me on
the show,-- You just wanted to make
fun of me. You're just like the
rest of them, Murray. Everything
comes too easy for you.

MURRAY FRANKLIN
(on the spot; defensive)
You don't know the first thing
about me, pal. Look what happened
because of what you did, what it
led to. There are riots out there.
Two policemen are in critical
condition, someone was killed
today.

JOKER
How about another joke, Murray?


MURRAY FRANKLIN JOKER
No, I think we've had enough What do you get when you
of your jokes-- cross a mentally-ill loner
with a system that abandons
him and treats him like
trash?
96.


JOKER
(pulling the gun)
I'll tell you what you get. You get
what you fucking deserve,--

And as Murray Franklin turns, JOKER SHOOTS THE SIDE OF
MURRAY'S HEAD OFF--

Blood splatters all over the back of the set. Some spraying
in Joker's face. AUDIENCE SCREAMS! Dr. Sally dives for the
floor. Barry O'Donnell reaches over her to try and save
Murray--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Joker is interviewed by Murray Franklin on his talk show set. Joker expresses his belief that he killed three young men because they were awful, criticizing society's lack of civility. Tension escalates between Joker and Murray, leading to Joker shooting Murray in the head. Chaos and panic erupt in the studio as blood splatters and the audience reacts with shock and fear.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Shocking twist
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Possible excessive violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with strong dialogue and a shocking twist. It effectively showcases the Joker's character development and sets up the climax of the film.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, which focuses on the Joker's confrontation with a talk show host and his revelation of his motivations, is compelling and adds depth to the character.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene, which revolves around the Joker's confrontation with Murray Franklin and his shocking revelation, is engaging and propels the story forward.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of a talk show confrontation is not entirely unique, the specific dialogue and the way the protagonist expresses his views are fresh and authentic. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly the Joker and Murray Franklin, are well-developed and their interactions are intense and captivating.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant change in this scene, fully embracing his identity as a symbol of chaos and rebellion.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his frustration and anger towards society and the people who have mistreated him. It reflects his deeper need for recognition and validation, as well as his fear of being ignored and dismissed.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront Murray Franklin and make a statement about the state of society. It reflects the immediate circumstances of being invited on the talk show and the challenge of expressing his views in a public forum.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the Joker challenging Murray Franklin and revealing his violent actions, leading to a shocking climax.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, as Joker and Murray have conflicting beliefs and engage in a heated argument. The audience's reaction adds to the opposition, as they represent a different perspective.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high in the scene, with the Joker confronting a talk show host and revealing his violent actions, potentially leading to further chaos and violence.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the Joker's motivations and setting up the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the audience does not know how the confrontation between Joker and Murray will escalate. The shooting of Murray's head off comes as a shocking and unexpected twist.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's belief in the need for societal change and the host's belief in personal responsibility and accountability. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview, as he sees society as the root cause of his suffering while the host sees individual actions as the cause.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions, with the Joker's anger and defiance resonating with the audience and the shocking twist creating a sense of tension and unease.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue in the scene is powerful and impactful, effectively conveying the Joker's anger and defiance, as well as Murray Franklin's attempts to control the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it builds tension and suspense through the dialogue and actions of the characters. The audience is drawn into the conflict between Joker and Murray, and the unexpected turn of events keeps them invested in the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The dialogue exchanges between Joker and Murray are paced to create dramatic impact, leading to the climactic moment of the shooting.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The action lines are clear and concise.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with the setting description, introduces the characters, and progresses through their dialogue and actions. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Joker and Murray Franklin is engaging and thought-provoking, highlighting the contrasting perspectives of the two characters.
  • The tension and discomfort in the scene are effectively conveyed through the dialogue and the reactions of the audience.
  • The scene effectively explores the themes of societal decay, class struggle, and the consequences of mistreatment.
  • The transition from Joker's monologue to the shocking act of violence is abrupt and unexpected, creating a powerful and memorable moment.
  • The use of blood splatter and the audience's screams adds to the shock value of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more build-up and foreshadowing to the act of violence to make it feel more organic and less sudden.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the violence on the characters and the audience in more depth.
  • Consider adding more complexity to the motivations and actions of Joker to further explore the themes of the story.
  • Develop the relationship between Joker and Murray Franklin further to create a stronger contrast between the two characters.
  • Consider adding more visual elements and actions to enhance the tension and atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 40 -  The Shocking Murder of Murray Franklin
INT. SOPHIE'S APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Sophie screams and jumps to her feet horrified! Waking up
GiGi who starts to cry when she sees what's on television--

ANGLE ON TELEVISION, Joker gets up and walks right up to the
camera. Blood sprayed over his white painted face. Hear the
studio audience still screaming, bedlam all around him.

JOKER (ON TV)
(looks straight into
camera; screams Murray's
signature sign off)
GOOD NIGHT AND ALWAYS REMEMBER,--
THAT'S LIFE!

And as Joker waves goodbye to the home audience, a black &
white "INDIAN-HEAD TEST PATTERN" playing HERB ALPERT's
"Spanish Flea" cuts off the show--

"PLEASE STAND BY"

CUT TO:


INDIAN-HEAD TEST PATTERN IN THE MIDDLE/BOTTOM HALF OF THE
SCREEN... A NEWS BULLETIN SPLIT INTO THE RIGHT/BOTTOM HALF...
REST OF THE FRAME BLACK...

A solemn WGC ANCHORMAN (50's) sits behind the news desk. We
still hear "Spanish Flea" playing...

WGC ANCHORMAN
Good evening. Breaking news,--
Popular TV talk show host, Murray
Franklin, was shot dead tonight on
the live telecast of his program by
one of his guests.
97.


THE SCREEN SPLITS AGAIN, MIDDLE OF ANOTHER NEWS BROADCAST
LEFT/BOTTOM HALF...

Middle of a clip of Joker shooting Murray Franklin on the
show, screaming into the camera, then getting tackled down to
the ground, hear an IBN ANCHORWOMAN (40's) talking over the
video.

IBN ANCHORWOMAN (VO) WGC ANCHORMAN
-- the man, who was (continuing)
introduced by Franklin as Warning, the following video
"Joker", is currently under is graphic and may be
arrest. disturbing to some of you.


THREE MORE SPLIT SCREENS APPEAR ACROSS THE TOP OF THE BLACK
FRAME ONE RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER, LEFT/TOP A REPORTER IN FRONT
OF A CROWD AT THE NCB STUDIOS... MIDDLE/TOP RAW FOOTAGE OF
THE RIOTING AND LOOTING... AND RIGHT/TOP AN ANC NEWS REPORTER
ON THE STREET...

NCB NEWS REPORTER ANC NEWS REPORTER
Just minutes ago, police led (shouting; breathless)
the suspect handcuffed out of Looting and rioting have
the studio. When asked why he intensified here after the
did it, he just laughed and Franklin shooting. More
said he didn't understand the people pouring into the
question. streets, many wearing clown
masks. And as you see, Gotham
is burning.

Right/bottom split screen they show the shooting from
multiple angles, slowed-down... Left/bottom they cut to the
IBN Anchorwoman sitting behind the desk... In the middle, the
"Indian-Head Test Pattern" keeps playing...

IBN ANCHORWOMAN WGC ANCHORMAN (VO)
(continuing) (continuing)
The man said he meant no After he was arrested, he
harm. Again, Murray Franklin told police officials, that
dead tonight, killed live on he meant nothing by it, that
the set of his own show. it was merely just a
punchline to a joke.

ALL SIX SPLIT-SCREENS PLAYING AT ONCE, "Spanish Flea" on a
loop, a cacophony of noise, competing video of Joker shooting
Murray interspersed with footage of rioting and fires,
"Indian-Head Test Pattern" the only constant. It's enough to
drive anybody crazy--

CUT TO:
98.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Sophie wakes up horrified by the Joker covered in blood and screaming on television. The news reports that Murray Franklin, a popular talk show host, was shot dead by the Joker on live television. Split screens show footage of the shooting, rioting, and looting, creating chaos. Sophie and GiGi are disturbed by the events. The scene ends with the constant presence of the Indian-head test pattern, symbolizing madness and chaos.
Strengths
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Potentially disturbing content

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, with a strong emotional impact and a significant plot development. The dialogue is powerful and the conflict level is high, creating a tense and disturbing atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the Joker's descent into madness and his ultimate act of violence. It explores themes of societal decay and the consequences of neglect and abuse.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial to the overall story, as it marks the turning point for the Joker's character and sets the stage for the film's climax. It reveals important information about the Joker's past and motivations.

Originality: 8

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of chaos and violence in a familiar setting. The use of split screens and contrasting visuals adds a fresh approach to depicting the aftermath of a violent act. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly the Joker, are well-developed and their actions and dialogue drive the narrative forward. The Joker's transformation is particularly compelling and impactful.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant character change in the scene, fully embracing his chaotic and violent nature. This transformation is a pivotal moment in the film.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to process and understand the shocking events that have just unfolded on television. Sophie is horrified by what she sees and her internal goal reflects her need to make sense of the violence and chaos that has entered her world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to ensure the safety of herself and her child in the midst of the escalating violence and chaos. Sophie's immediate circumstances and challenges involve navigating the uncertain and dangerous world outside her apartment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and chaotic, with the Joker's violent actions leading to a shocking climax. The tension between the characters and the societal unrest add to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with the challenge of navigating a violent and chaotic world. The audience is unsure of how Sophie will overcome this opposition and ensure the safety of herself and her child.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the Joker's violent act has far-reaching consequences for both the characters and the society at large. The murder of a popular talk show host adds to the intensity.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the Joker's past and motivations. It also sets the stage for the film's climax and resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents a shocking act of violence that disrupts the expected narrative flow. The use of split screens and contrasting visuals adds to the unpredictability and keeps the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the belief in the power of chaos and anarchy represented by the Joker and the belief in order and stability represented by the news anchors and law enforcement. This conflict challenges Sophie's beliefs and values as she is confronted with the consequences of chaos and violence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, shock, and disturbance. The Joker's transformation and violent act elicit strong emotional responses from the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is powerful and impactful, revealing important information about the characters and their motivations. The Joker's dark humor and provocative statements add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a shocking and intense event that immediately captures the audience's attention. The use of split screens and contrasting visuals adds to the sense of chaos and keeps the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The use of split screens and concise dialogue keeps the scene moving at a fast pace, reflecting the chaotic nature of the events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The use of split screens and concise descriptions effectively convey the visual and auditory elements of the scene.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively builds tension and conveys the escalating chaos through the use of split screens and contrasting visuals.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a shocking and intense moment as Sophie wakes up horrified by what she sees on television. This creates a strong emotional reaction and sets the tone for the rest of the scene.
  • The use of the 'Indian-Head Test Pattern' and the news bulletin split screens adds to the chaotic and unsettling atmosphere of the scene. It effectively conveys the sense of panic and confusion in the aftermath of the shooting.
  • The dialogue between the news anchors and reporters provides important information about the events that have unfolded, but it feels somewhat repetitive and could be streamlined to maintain the tension and pacing of the scene.
  • The use of multiple split screens and competing video footage creates a visually overwhelming effect, which effectively reflects the chaotic nature of the situation. However, it may be challenging for the audience to fully comprehend all the information presented.
  • The constant loop of 'Spanish Flea' playing in the background adds an eerie and unsettling quality to the scene, enhancing the sense of unease and madness.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue between the news anchors and reporters to maintain a sense of urgency and avoid repetition.
  • Ensure that the use of multiple split screens and competing video footage does not overwhelm the audience and allows for clear comprehension of the information being presented.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more visual cues or actions to enhance the impact of certain moments, such as blood splattering on Joker's face.
  • Consider the pacing of the scene and the overall length to ensure that it maintains a high level of tension and keeps the audience engaged.
  • Experiment with different musical choices or sound design elements to further enhance the unsettling atmosphere of the scene.



Scene 41 -  Chaos and Laughter
INT. GOTHAM SQUAD CAR (MOVING), GOTHAM STREETS - NIGHT

DEAD SILENCE. JOKER GAZING OUT THE WINDOW, at all the
violence and madness in the city. We only see it in the
reflection of the glass... the fires burning... the mob
crowding the streets. Joker's handcuffed in the back of the
squad car moving slowly through the rioting, sirens wailing,
red lights flashing, blood still splattered on his face.

AND HE STARTS TO LAUGH. It's not his affliction, he just
finds it all so hilarious.

POLICE OFFICER #1 (OS)
Stop laughing, you freak. This
isn't funny.

AND JOKER JUST LAUGHS HARDER--

POLICE OFFICER #2
(glancing at Joker in the
back seat)
Yeah, the whole fucking city's on
fire cause of what you did.

JOKER STOPS LAUGHING AND LEANS FORWARD, FACE PRESSED AGAINST
THE GRATE--

JOKER
I know. Isn't it beautiful.

AND BEFORE THE OFFICERS CAN ANSWER THE SQUAD CAR GETS HIT BY
A SCREAMING AMBULANCE SPEEDING LIGHTS FLASHING DOWN A CROSS
STREET--

VIOLENTLY CRASHING INTO JOKER'S SIDE, Joker flying like a rag
doll crashing against the opposite door, glass spraying--

BOTH COPS BANGING AGAINST THE DASHBOARD AND DOORS, bones
breaking, screaming in pain and terror--

THE SQUAD CAR GETS PUSHED INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC, A yellow cab
headed straight for it, swerves right to avoid, clipping the
front end of the squad car and flipping onto its side.

THE SQUAD CAR COMES TO A STOP in the middle of all the chaos,
ambulance lights still flashing, fires burning--

Nobody inside the wreckage moves. Glass and twisted metal
everywhere. Through the broken window looks like TWO MEN IN
CLOWN MASKS getting out of the ambulance--

ANGLE ON JOKER, head slumped to the side, face and mouth cut
up and bleeding, blood smearing his dyed green hair.
99.


He looks dead. And we HEAR the soft and familiar opening to
FERRANTE & TEICHER's piano version of "Send in the Clowns"...

SUDDENLY HANDS REACH INTO THE BACK OF THE SQUAD CAR, hands
grabbing Joker's body, pulling him out--

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Joker is handcuffed in the back of a squad car, finding the violence and madness in Gotham City hilarious. The police officers in the car are frustrated with him and blame him for the chaos. Suddenly, the squad car is hit by an ambulance, causing a violent crash. The car comes to a stop in the middle of the chaos, and it appears that Joker is dead. Two men in clown masks get out of the ambulance and reach into the back of the squad car to grab Joker's body.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and violence
  • Strong character development for Joker
  • Intense and unsettling atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Possible excessive violence for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively captures the dark and intense tone of the film, showcasing the consequences of Joker's actions and the chaos that ensues. The violence and the Joker's twisted sense of humor create a disturbing and unsettling atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the aftermath of Joker's violent acts and the chaos that follows. It effectively portrays the consequences of his actions and the impact they have on the city.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the aftermath of Joker's actions and his journey through the chaotic city. It effectively builds tension and showcases the consequences of his choices.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its portrayal of the Joker's twisted perspective on beauty and humor in chaos. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Joker, are well-developed and their actions and dialogue contribute to the overall tone and atmosphere. Joker's transformation into the iconic character is captivating and his presence drives the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Joker undergoes a significant transformation in the scene, embracing his identity as the Joker and reveling in the chaos he has caused. His character arc reaches a pivotal moment.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find humor and beauty in the violence and madness of the city. This reflects the Joker's twisted desires and his need for chaos and destruction.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to survive the car crash and escape from the wreckage. It reflects the immediate challenge of the dangerous situation he is in.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and chaotic, with Joker being pursued by the police and the city descending into violence. The tension is high and the stakes are raised.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the Joker faces the challenge of surviving the car crash and escaping from the wreckage. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome this obstacle.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with Joker being pursued by the police and the city descending into chaos. The consequences of his actions are severe and the outcome is uncertain.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the consequences of Joker's actions and setting the stage for the climax of the film. It adds depth to the narrative and raises the stakes.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the car crash will affect the Joker and what will happen next. The introduction of the two men in clown masks adds an element of surprise.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the Joker's belief in chaos and destruction as beautiful and the police officers' belief in order and justice. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview, as he finds humor in the chaos that the officers see as destructive.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly fear, tension, and unease. The violence and chaos create a sense of dread and unsettlement.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the dark and twisted nature of the characters, particularly Joker. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall tone.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immediately captures the audience's attention with the intense and chaotic situation. The dark humor and the Joker's unpredictable actions create suspense and intrigue.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The quick succession of events, from the Joker's laughter to the car crash, keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, presents the conflict, and ends with a cliffhanger.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual of Joker gazing out the window at the violence and madness in the city, reflected in the glass. This sets the tone for the scene and establishes the chaotic atmosphere.
  • The dialogue between the police officers and Joker is effective in showing the tension and conflict between them. Joker's laughter and the officers' anger create a sense of unease and anticipation.
  • The sudden crash of the ambulance adds a jolt of action and intensifies the chaos of the scene. The description of the car crash and the injuries sustained by the officers and Joker is vivid and visceral.
  • The introduction of the two men in clown masks adds an element of mystery and raises questions about their intentions and their connection to Joker.
  • The final image of Joker, seemingly dead but with the soft piano music playing, creates a sense of ambiguity and leaves the reader wondering what will happen next.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene, such as the sounds of sirens, the smell of smoke, or the taste of blood in Joker's mouth.
  • Explore the emotions and thoughts of the police officers and Joker in more depth to further develop their characters and motivations.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or introspection for Joker as he gazes out the window, to give insight into his mindset and add depth to his character.
  • Consider adding a bit more context or explanation for the presence of the two men in clown masks, to create more intrigue and suspense.
  • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a hint of what is to come, to leave the reader wanting more and eager to continue reading.



Scene 42 -  Chaos and Carnage: The Joker's Reign Begins
EXT. MOVIE THEATER, STREET - UPTOWN - NIGHT

A LIMOUSINE ON FIRE SLOWLY ROLLS THROUGH FRAME as if in slow-
motion, we pan with it to--

A WELL-HEELED CROWD LETTING OUT OF A MOVIE THEATER, coming
upon the car on fire, realizing the violence has reached
here, the nice part of town... Gangs of punks wearing clown
masks running past, breaking car windows, sirens wailing...
Catch a glimpse of the lit up marquee listing the films
playing, "Blow Out" and "Zorro the Gay Blade". Hear "Send in
the Clowns" still playing...

FROM BEHIND SEE A SILHOUETTED COUPLE AND THEIR KID hurry down
the dark side of the street, ducking into an alley to avoid
the chaos--

Catch a glimpse of a punk in a "Joker" mask following after
them pulling a gun--


EXT. ALLEY, MOVIE THEATER - CONTINUOUS

FROM BEHIND, FAMILY IN THE SHADOWS see the guy's eyes go wide
behind the mask, pointing his gun, music swelling--

PUNK
(shouting)
Hey Wayne! You get what you fucking
deserve.

And the punk shoots the man. Reaches out and grabs something
off the woman's neck before he shoots her as well. Both fall
to the ground dead. Revealing their young son standing behind
them--

CLOSE ON EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BRUCE WAYNE, closing his eyes as
blood sprays across his face. He opens his eyes and looks up
scared at the man in the "Joker" mask who killed his parents,
Thomas and Martha Wayne.

CUT BACK TO:
100.


EXT. SQUAD CAR (CRASHED), STREET - NIGHT

FROM ABOVE, JOKER LAID OUT ON THE HOOD, arms spread, his
hands uncuffed, a crowd has started to form around the
wreckage, checking out his broken body--

ANGLE ON JOKER, A CROOKED SMILE PLASTERED ON HIS FACE,
laughing, coughing up blood. The crowd steps back in
surprise. Joker stumbles to his feet, standing up on the hood
of the car--

Looks out at the city burning all around him... the crowd at
his feet stunned that's he's alive... And over it all, Joker
HEARS A STUDIO AUDIENCE APPLAUDING...

He raises a hands above his head, does a little dance move
and the CROWD GOES CRAZY--

CLOSE ON JOKER, tears in his eyes from all the pain and
suffering, still he keeps smiling as he wipes his bloody hand
from one cheek across his mouth to his other cheek, smearing
a wide blood-soaked smile across his face so they can all see
how fucking happy he is--

He is the Joker.

CUT TO BLACK.

A long beat.

HEAR LAUGHTER.

The sound of a man totally cracking up.

FADE IN:


INT. ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL, INTERVIEW ROOM - MORNING

CLOSE ON JOKER, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
Still smiling. His head's been shaved, he's wearing white
institutional clothes. He looks medicated or maybe even
lobotomized.

He's sitting across from an overworked HOSPITAL DOCTOR
(50's), African American woman. Somehow it's the exact same
room Joker imagined his mother was in some 30 years ago. The
room and the doctor also look vaguely similar to the social
worker and her office in the opening scene.

The doctor just sits there, waiting for him to stop laughing.
A weathered notebook is on the table in front of him.
Finally, Joker stops himself.
101.


HOSPITAL DOCTOR
What's so funny?

He takes a deep breath, his eyes are glazed over. His voice
is scratchy, like he doesn't use it much. But the smile never
leaves his crooked lips.

JOKER
--just thinking of this joke.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
Do you want to tell it to me?

Beat.

JOKER
You wouldn't get it.

The doctor writes something down in her notes.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
How are you feeling?

JOKER
Good. Everything's good now.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
Have you been keeping up with your
journal?

Joker slowly nods.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
Great. Have you been writing about
what happened? About your episode?

JOKER
How I remember it.

HOSPITAL DOCTOR
(re: the journal)
May I see?

Joker slides his journal across to her. She picks it up and
flips through the pages--

ANGLE ON JOURNAL, blank page after blank page, there's
nothing inside of it.

The doctor looks up at him confused.

Beat.
102.


ANGLE ON JOKER, his smile creeping wider across his face. And
we HEAR the groovy organ opening to FRANK SINATRA's anthem
"That's Life"...

Beat.


INT. HALLWAY, ARKHAM STATE HOSPITAL - MORNING

From behind, see Joker shuffling down the long hallway past
all the other mental patients. Sinatra starts singing...

And Joker does a slide step to the music like he can hear it
too... into a skip... and another slide step into a spin...
Dancing down the hallway into the sunset...

IRIS OUT:

"That's Life" keeps playing over credits.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, chaos erupts as a limousine on fire rolls through the street, while gangs of punks wearing clown masks cause havoc. A couple and their child seek refuge in an alley, but are pursued by a Joker-masked punk who tragically shoots and kills them. The Joker, covered in blood, stands on a crashed squad car, receiving applause from the crowd. Later, in Arkham State Hospital, the Joker laughs uncontrollably during an interview with a doctor, teasing her with an undisclosed joke. The scene concludes with the Joker dancing down a hospital hallway, setting the stage for his reign of madness.
Strengths
  • Intense and impactful portrayal of the Joker's transformation
  • Dark and disturbing tone
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too disturbing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful and intense, effectively portraying the Joker's transformation and the chaotic world he inhabits. The dark and disturbing tone is consistent throughout, creating a sense of unease and tension.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the Joker's transformation and the exploration of his psyche. It delves into themes of identity, societal decay, and the blurred line between comedy and tragedy.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the Joker's journey from a troubled individual to a full-fledged villain. It effectively builds tension and suspense, leading up to the climactic moment of the Joker's transformation.

Originality: 9

The level of originality in this scene is high. The situation of a young Bruce Wayne witnessing the murder of his parents is a familiar one in Batman stories, but the writer brings a fresh approach by emphasizing the intense emotions and the presence of chaos and violence in the surrounding world. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly the Joker, are well-developed and complex. The Joker's transformation is the central focus, and his descent into madness is portrayed with depth and nuance.

Character Changes: 9

The Joker undergoes a significant character change in the scene, transforming from a troubled individual to a full-fledged villain. His descent into madness is portrayed with depth and complexity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to survive and escape the violence happening around them. This reflects their deeper need for safety and security.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid being caught or harmed by the punk in the Joker mask. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they're facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and chaotic, reflecting the Joker's internal turmoil and the external violence and chaos in the world around him.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong. The protagonist faces a life-threatening situation and is pursued by a dangerous antagonist. The audience doesn't know how the protagonist will overcome this obstacle.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the Joker's transformation has far-reaching consequences for both himself and the society he inhabits. The violence and chaos add to the sense of high stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the Joker's transformation and setting up the climax of the film. It effectively builds tension and suspense.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected violence and chaos in a seemingly safe and peaceful setting. The audience doesn't know how the protagonist will escape or what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between chaos and order. The protagonist's beliefs, values, and worldview are challenged by the sudden violence and chaos that has reached their part of town.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of unease, tension, and disturbance. It effectively portrays the Joker's descent into madness and the dark world he inhabits.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is impactful and serves to reveal the Joker's mindset and motivations. It effectively conveys the dark and twisted nature of the character.

Engagement: 10

This scene is engaging because it immediately grabs the reader's attention with a visually striking and intense sequence of events. The violence, danger, and emotional impact keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of this scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The fast-paced action and the emotional impact of the events keep the scene engaging and propel the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with an establishing shot, introduces the characters and their goals, and progresses through a series of actions and reactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a chaotic and violent image of a limousine on fire rolling through the street, which sets a tense and dramatic tone. However, the transition to the well-heeled crowd coming out of a movie theater feels abrupt and disconnected. It would be helpful to establish a clearer connection between the two scenes to maintain the tension and build-up.
  • The introduction of the punk in the Joker mask and the subsequent shooting of the couple and their child is a shocking and impactful moment. However, the scene could benefit from more context and development to fully understand the significance of this event and its impact on the story.
  • The transition to the crashed squad car with Joker laid out on the hood is jarring and lacks a smooth narrative flow. It would be beneficial to provide a clearer transition or bridge between the previous scene and this one to maintain coherence and engagement.
  • The Joker's laughter and his interaction with the crowd in the midst of chaos and violence is a powerful image that captures the essence of his character. However, the scene could benefit from more exploration of his emotions and motivations in this moment to deepen the audience's understanding of his mindset.
  • The final cut to black and the subsequent sound of laughter create a sense of anticipation and intrigue. However, the transition to the interview room in Arkham State Hospital feels disjointed and could benefit from a smoother transition or connection to the previous scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider establishing a clearer connection between the limousine on fire and the well-heeled crowd to maintain the tension and build-up.
  • Provide more context and development for the shooting of the couple and their child to fully understand the significance of this event and its impact on the story.
  • Create a smoother transition or bridge between the previous scene and the crashed squad car to maintain coherence and engagement.
  • Explore the Joker's emotions and motivations in the midst of chaos and violence to deepen the audience's understanding of his mindset.
  • Improve the transition or connection between the final cut to black and the interview room in Arkham State Hospital to create a more cohesive narrative flow.