Permissible

A coming-of-age horror: a young woman on the cusp of emancipation uncovers her parents’ ritual cannibalism and must choose between exposing them and protecting her siblings — or replicating their evil to survive.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

Permissible stands out through its unique setting of a funeral home/cannibal family operation, blending psychological horror with a coming-of-age survival story. The script's exploration of moral ambiguity - where the protagonist must become what she hates to save her siblings - creates compelling ethical complexity rarely seen in the genre. The integration of supernatural elements with grounded family trauma provides a fresh take on both horror and family drama conventions.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Claude
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.8
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Decide and double-down on the script’s single dramatic spine: is Aiden an actual supernatural presence, a grief-haunted hallucination, or a symbolic memory? Clarifying this will solve the biggest knock-on problems—tonal whiplash, audience confusion, and many credibility gaps. Once you choose, rework beats to consistently signal the rules (visual, auditory, or narrative cues), trim repetitive mid-act scenes that slow momentum, and plant earlier, subtle seeds for Marcy’s motivation so her later flips feel earned. Finally, dramatize legal/logistical mechanics rather than explaining them in dialogue (show the sheriff’s investigation, the custody timeline, the NYU beat) and remove or reframe gratuitous shock moments that don’t advance Haley’s emotional arc.
For Executives:
Permissible has a festival-ready, high-concept hook—a desperate teen vs. cannibalistic parents in a funeral-home setting—and memorable set pieces that can sell posters and press. But it carries significant risk: extreme, sustained gore and tonal inconsistency limit mainstream distribution and pressability, and current credibility lapses (police/legal beats, sudden character flips) could hinder industry confidence. Recommend commissioning a focused rewrite to: (1) clarify Aiden’s narrative role and anchor tone, (2) tighten the middle act and Marcy’s motivation, and (3) streamline procedural realism. With those fixes and a director who can balance intimacy with transgressive horror, this could be a striking festival/genre title with niche commercial upside.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 60% Horror 40% Thriller 30% Crime 25%

Setting: Contemporary, A rundown funeral home, crematorium, and surrounding woods in a rural area

Themes: Trauma and its Cycles, Survival and Sacrifice, Familial Dysfunction and Corruption of Innocence, Morality and Blurred Lines, Search for Identity and Freedom, The Corrosive Nature of Secrets and Lies, Justice and Retribution, Hope and Resilience

Conflict & Stakes: Haley's struggle against her abusive father Danny and the toxic family environment, with the safety of her siblings at stake.

Mood: Dark, tense, and suspenseful with moments of emotional depth and horror.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of psychological horror with family drama, showcasing the impact of trauma on relationships.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Danny's past and his connection to the children's trauma, culminating in a violent confrontation.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of hallucinations and psychological elements to explore Haley's mental state and her relationship with Aiden.
  • Distinctive Setting: The funeral home and crematorium serve as a haunting backdrop that enhances the story's dark themes.
  • Unique Characters: Complex characters with deep emotional struggles, particularly Haley and Danny, who embody the cycle of abuse.

Comparable Scripts: The Lovely Bones, Hereditary, The Haunting of Hill House, The Girl on the Train, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Sharp Objects, The Witch, Little Fires Everywhere, The Babadook

Data Says…
Feature in Alpha - Could have inaccuracies

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

1. Character Development (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Character Development (Script Level) score: 7.9
Typical rewrite gain: +0.4 in Character Development (Script Level)
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~2,672 similar revisions)
  • This is currently your highest-impact lever. Improving Character Development (Script Level) is most likely to move the overall rating next.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Character Development (Script Level) by about +0.4 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: At your level, improving this one area alone can cover a meaningful slice of the climb toward an "all Highly Recommends" script.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.7
Typical rewrite gain: +0.35 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~3,846 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.35 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.
3. Concept
Big Impact Scene Level
Your current Concept score: 8.6
Typical rewrite gain: +0.29 in Concept
Gets you ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~1,412 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Concept by about +0.29 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 8.16
Key Suggestions:
Sharpen Haley's emotional throughline: make her shift from protector to morally compromised survivor feel incremental and earned by adding quiet, character-driven beats that foreshadow her choices. At the same time, clearly distinguish hallucinations from objective reality with consistent visual or auditory cues so audiences can emotionally track her grief without being disoriented. Trim or focus gratuitous gore and give Oli/Ava a few small but active moments of agency — this preserves the story's visceral power while deepening empathy and plausibility.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
Focus on earning Haley's arc: make her turn from victim to perpetrator feel inevitable by adding connective, character-driven beats rather than sudden shocks. Clarify the rules of the supernatural/hallucinatory element (Aiden) and the mechanics of the 'death cherry' so the audience understands stakes and causality. Deepen Danny's origin with targeted flashbacks/documents and sharpen Marcy and Gabriel's motivations so their choices feel believable. Finally, trim repetitive gore in the latter half and replace some spectacle with scenes that probe emotional consequence—this will amplify horror by making it feel earned and devastating.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis shows a compelling central performance in Haley — a resilient teen whose arc from victim to avenger anchors the story — but several emotional pivots feel under-earned (notably the poisoning, Aiden’s death, and Marcy’s late-stage betrayal). Tighten the emotional through-line by adding payoff beats: more foreshadowing for Haley’s darker choices, a mid‑point reversal that forces her to choose, and incremental failures that make her radical decisions believable. Also smooth Marcy and Danny’s transitions so motivations feel earned, and give Aiden and the younger twins clearer agency earlier to raise stakes and audience investment.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a powerful, consistent horror mood but leans so heavily on unrelenting terror that the audience will likely become emotionally fatigued and detached. The single biggest fix is to rework emotional pacing: add deliberate valleys—quiet, intimate scenes of grief, hope, or dark humor—so the major shocks (Aiden’s crisis, Danny’s death, Haley’s escape) land with maximum impact. Also slow and complicate Haley’s moral turn so the audience retains empathy (show internal conflict, regret, small humane choices), and deepen Marcy and Sophia beats earlier to make later revelations feel earned.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay's emotional core—Haley’s fight to protect her siblings and break a generational cycle of violence—is compelling, but the script needs a clearer moral throughline. Tighten the philosophical conflict (Justice vs. Revenge) so Haley’s choices feel earned: show earlier, concrete limits she refuses to cross, then stage a single, decisive turning point where she knowingly chooses a path that resolves the external threat but costs her internally. Trim or combine repetitive scenes that re-state the same trauma beats and instead use those beats to build to that moral decision and its consequences, so the finale (burning the home / escaping) hits as catharsis rather than ambiguous violence.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
You have a powerful, combustible core: a portrait of generational trauma and a young protagonist forced to choose survival over innocence. To strengthen the script, focus on sharpening Haley’s emotional throughline so the audience can follow — and continue to root for — her as she makes increasingly extreme choices. Clarify the logic of her escalation (what specific moment(s) break her moral boundaries), reduce scenes that feel gratuitously sensational in favor of moments that reveal inner conflict, and tighten secondary characters (Marcy, Aiden, Frost, Gabriel) so their choices credibly push or restrain Haley’s arc. Small human beats — a private ritual, a tender promise kept, a moment of doubt — will make the big, violent decisions land emotionally rather than only viscerally.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The draft has a powerful, visceral premise and compelling set pieces, but the emotional logic and mechanics that carry the plot break down in the second half. The biggest fixes are: (1) rebuild Haley’s internal arc so her shift toward violence feels earned (show incremental pressure, rationale, moral erosion, or a trauma-driven turning point), and (2) clarify the practical timeline and forensic logistics (who buries/handles bodies, how evidence/phones are hidden or discovered, and how law enforcement is engaged). Also streamline redundant sleepwalking/vision beats, tighten Marcy’s motivations so her protectiveness isn’t reactive exposition, and soften any dialogue that reads like thematic lecturing—make language age-appropriate and grounded. These surgical rewrites will restore emotional stakes and audience buy-in without changing the core story.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
You have a distinct, fearless voice that makes this screenplay viscerally memorable — its blend of dark humor, uncompromising brutality, and intimate family trauma is a real asset. To strengthen the script craft-wise, focus on sharpening the emotional throughline: prune scenes that feel gratuitously graphic and double down on moments that reveal character motivation and vulnerability (especially Haley’s). Clarify ambiguous elements that distract from stakes (e.g., Aiden’s spectral presence vs. hallucination) and streamline pacing so each violent beat escalates the story rather than numbs the audience. Tighten dialogue in quieter scenes to contrast the violence and let empathy carry the audience through the darkest moments.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
You have a powerful gift for atmosphere, tension, and emotionally charged set pieces; the script’s visceral imagery and incandescent scene work are its biggest assets. To elevate the screenplay from a sequence of unforgettable moments to a truly cohesive, high-impact film, concentrate on deepening character arcs (especially beyond immediate conflict), sharpening subtext in dialogue, and tightening overall structure/pacing so the emotional stakes pay off across the entire runtime. Practical next steps: map each protagonist’s arc, run targeted dialogue-only exercises, and study structural templates (e.g., Truby / Save the Cat) while rewriting key scenes from alternate points of view to reveal unseen motivation.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay has a compelling, singularly grim world and a strong emotional core in Haley’s desperate fight to save her siblings. To sharpen its impact, tighten the world’s internal rules (especially around Aiden’s presence — hallucination, ghost, or memory), streamline the tonal swings between domestic drama and extreme gore, and anchor the horror in Haley’s clear, consistent emotional arc. Reduce gratuitous ambiguity that undermines stakes; use sensory world-building to support character choices rather than overwhelm them. That will preserve the story’s intensity while deepening audience empathy and thematic payoff.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
You have a powerful engine: sustained dark, tense, and disturbing tones that reliably generate high emotional impact and propel the plot. Lean into this strength, but tighten the emotional payoff in quieter, reflective scenes (esp. the final two) so the character arcs truly land. Make Haley’s choices and the ambiguity around Aiden’s presence emotionally explicit — not by adding more violence, but by sharpening stakes, clarifying motivations, and giving the hopeful ending the same thematic weight as the earlier brutality (motif callbacks, earned moments of vulnerability, and clearer consequences for major actions). Consider using the sardonic/sarcastic beats as emotional relief and character color, not as tonal detours.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.