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Scene Map 45
# PG SLUGLINE
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Scene Map
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# PG SLUGLINE
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EXT. SAHARA DESERT - DAWN Blazing pink dawn in the reflection of binoculars. The lenses drop to reveal intense eyes fixed on the horizon. They belong to DAVID STIRLING (30), rugged, lean and sun-baked, wearing a British khaki uniform that has seen better days. A mangy
2
EXT. SAHARA DESERT - DUSK Stirling’s eyes snap open. His face is a thousand years younger. No scars, no beard, no clue what the next chapter in his life will do to him. We pull out to reveal he is atop the lead tank of a large
3
INT. STIRLING’S TANK - CONTINUOUS RED LIGHT BULBS create the look of a furnace. The four-man crew sweats through their shirts. HITCH (40) is the pilot, JAMES (19) is the gunner, HUGHES (25) operates the radio, and Stirling leads the group.
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EXT. STIRLING’S TANK - CONTINUOUS Stirling gazes at the moon as passing clouds reveal its murky glow. In the distance something catches his eye. A human silhouette?
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INT. STIRLING’S TANK - CONTINUOUS Stirling scrambles down the ladder and grabs the radio. His team scurries to their stations. STIRLING CONTACT!! JERRY - LEFT FLANK.
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EXT. SAHARA DESERT BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT Stirling throws open the HATCH and sees the entire battle unfolding. He ducks as a stream of whizzing orange TRACERS zip within inches of his head. Nazis blast the British convoy into flaming scrap metal.
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EXT. SAHARA DESERT BATTLEFIELD - DAY The endless sea of blinding white sand is a graveyard. A dozen tanks vomit thick, black smoke. Charred bodies everywhere. Earlier a chaotic battlefield, the desert is now eerily still.
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EXT. THE DESERT - DAY A heavy REVOLVER is tucked into a wire wrapped around Stirling’s waist. He stumbles through the infinite desert, lips cracked and aching for water, skin searing in the relentless sun.
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EXT. THE DESERT - DAY Stirling trudges on a perfectly flat desert plane. The sand is a surreal reflection of the blue sky above. His thin, sunburnt body the result of days of exposure. A distant shape catches his eye through the rising heat. He
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EXT. THE DESERT - LATER Through bloodshot eyes, Stirling watches passively as a golden SCORPION crawls over his outstretched hand. The venomous insect walks onto his palm, its stinger poised to strike.
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EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF BENGHAZI - DAY Through binoculars: The besieged city of Benghazi. The sandstone walls crumble from artillery fire. Stukas dive bomb; Panzers blast at close range. Masked Nazi infantry breach the city.
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EXT. INNER BENGHAZI - LATER Wind whips the red swastika flags on the hood of Rommel’s car as it speeds into the city, flanked by motorcycle commandos. A raucous crowd is held back by TROOPS scrambling to take control amid the chaos.
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INT. BENGHAZI MOSQUE - CONTINUOUS Rommel's sand-blasted boots clap over ornate tiles. He enters the partially destroyed courtyard where his staff sets up the command center with German efficiency. A map of Africa is unrolled as Aldinger, Brendt, and two more
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EXT. SAHARA DESERT - DAY Through bloodshot eyes, Stirling watches the golden SCORPION crawl over his outstretched hand. The scorpion darts away at some unseen warning. A plume of dust - getting closer. A stripped-down British semi-truck skids to a stop. Dust
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INT. NOMAD CAVE - EVENING Stirling is wrapped in a blanket and lowered to the ground of a CAVE. The New Zealand Soldier looms above. SOLDIER This is as far as we can take ya
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INT. NOMAD CAVE - NIGHT ROBED ARABS encircle the bonfire shouting in guttural tones. Everything is red, reminiscent of Stirling's tank. Flames lick upwards. Arguing men cast freakish shadows. Delirious, Stirling glimpses Amal’s face.
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EXT. CANYON - DAY Stirling emerges from the cave. He stretches his injured side. Beaten but not broken. Amal playfully feeds some goats, giggling as they vie for attention. She sees Stirling and stops.
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EXT. CARAVAN - DAY Stirling dons ARAB ROBES, riding with a nomadic caravan through the desert. With scarves tied tight, the travelers fight against piercing winds. EXT. CARAVAN CAMPSITE - EVENING
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EXT. DESERT PLATEAU - NIGHT Stirling and Amal sit, watching the flashes of a distant tank battle. STIRLING They are close to each other. You
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EXT. TOWN OUTSKIRTS - DAY The caravan trudges. A distant town shimmers in heat waves. The ELDER ARAB shouts a warning, pointing to the huge fast moving clouds of an incoming SANDSTORM. STIRLING
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EXT. DESERT TOWN - LATER The town is a maze of layered clay buildings. People and livestock bustle about. Stirling pulls off his scarf and drinks from a well when something petrifies him: the laughter of THREE NAZI SOLDIERS.
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EXT. DESERT TOWN ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS Stirling sprints across uneven rooftops, the sandstorm nearly upon them. The Sentry fires again with his bolt-action rifle. He leaps across a 10 foot gap as another bullet whizzes past. The wind picks up, filling the air with sand and yanking
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INT. DESERT HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Stirling hurdles down a flight of stairs and scrambles into the empty living room. Panting, he presses against the wall when the front door BURSTS open. The Soldier and the Sentry run past him and up
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EXT. THE DESERT - DAY Back in the endless sand. Stirling trudges on, wearing a ragged GERMAN uniform and Arab scarf. A vague melody and amorphous white shape develop through the heat waves. Stirling approaches a fat, mustached, BRITISH COLONEL sitting
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INT. HOTEL CAIRO BATHROOM - DAY Stirling shaves off the last bit of stubble, splashes his face and appraises the scarred stranger in the mirror. A KNOCK as a young CORPORAL enters. CORPORAL
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INT. GENERAL’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS The room is huge and ornate - palm fronds, elephant tusks and a massive balcony overlooking Cairo. At the far end stands GENERAL WAVELL (60s), wearing a neat, khaki, short sleeve uniform and an eye patch. Clean-shaven PADDY MAYNE and a
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EXT. HOTEL CAIRO - DAY Hicks and Stirling exit Hotel Cairo and are met by RIOTING civilians held back by British soldiers. STIRLING He’s sending troops to Greece? The
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EXT. CAIRO BAZAAR - DAY LENA CONNOLLY (29) meanders through the crowded open-air marketplace. She wears a white head scarf and dark sunglasses. STREET MERCHANTS shove goods her way.
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EXT. CAIRO CAFE - LATER Lena’s wrist, now adorned by the bright red watch, rests on the table of an outdoor cafe. She sips coffee, eyes darting around - clearly waiting for something. A chuckle can be heard nearby.
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INT. MELODY LOUNGE - EVENING A wild, smoky nightclub with low-hanging drapes and Arabic flavor. British Officers mingle with women in revealing dresses. A big band provides the heartbeat behind the beautiful singer, FAHD FAHMI (20s).
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EXT. CAIRO STREETS - NIGHT Stirling dizzily bursts out the door and into the dark and seedy streets of Cairo. It’s like a maze, he’s instantly disoriented. Women in burkas stare as he passes. A BLAST of flame startles
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EXT. GREAT SPHINX - MORNING The sun beats down on Stirling's sleeping body. A STREET MERCHANT selling watches nudges Stirling awake. He grudgingly rises, feeling the blinding hangover. STIRLING
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INT. HALFAYA AIRSPACE - DAY Rommel rides shotgun in his STORCH AIRPLANE high above Halfaya with Lieutenant Tilden behind. He signals his PILOT to drop lower. Through binoculars, Rommel watches a TANK BATTLE, which looks
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EXT. HALFAYA BATTLEFIELD - LATER In a small staff car, Rommel races through the active battlefield amid the whistle and boom of artillery. He skids to a stop next to the lead Panzer and climbs out. A TANK COMMANDER directs fire from the top hatch. Rommel
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EXT. HALFAYA COMMAND TENT - DAY Rommel marches through the forward base in the thick of the action. His battle weary men are rejuvenated at the sight of him. They snap-to, saluting with pride. Rommel walks into the makeshift COMMAND TENT where BRENDT,
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EXT. CAIRO STREETS - DAY Stirling navigates a crowded street. The city feels alive, packed with Arab citizens, soldiers of different rank and nationality, nurses, reporters, and merchants. He presses flush against a shop window to allow the passage
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EXT. CAIRO ALLEY - DAY Stirling struggles through groups of people that the Young Girl simply ducks between. She rounds a corner, Stirling picks up the pace. As he closes the gap, she sneaks into a LARGE TENT through a
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EXT. HOTEL CAIRO - DAY Stirling walks towards the Hotel’s front door. At the guard station he passes Lena. We stay with her as Stirling disappears into the building. CORPORAL SMYTH hands credentials back to Lena.
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INT. MELODY LOUNGE - AFTERNOON A few soldiers are sipping beers while the bartender prepares for the nightly assault. Stirling puts an elbow down on the bar and signals for a whiskey, but notices a disheveled Paddy Mayne sitting alone
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EXT. HOTEL CAIRO - NIGHT Stirling and Mayne use a line of parked TRUCKS for cover. They skirt around the building to a garden beneath the GRAND BALCONY. Mayne kneels to give Stirling a boost. Stirling automatically
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INT. GENERALS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Auchinleck walks to his mirror, wiping the foam from his face. STIRLING I was hoping to speak to General
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INT. MAJOR HICKS’ OFFICE - DAY Hicks sits at his desk impatiently clicking a pen. A BLOODY BANDAGE is taped over his crooked nose. He skims through a memo. HICKS
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EXT. NAZI AIRFIELD TENT - DAY Rommel intensely studies a SANDBOX filled with small TANK FIGURINES representing the British and German forces at battle. He turns his head slightly, we can see the cogs turning; his genius at work. He slides two PANZERS across the
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INT. MILITARY JAIL - DAY Stirling follows a MILITARY POLICE OFFICER down a long subterranean hallway lined with prison bars. The Officer unlocks and opens a heavy wooden door. A small cell is cut in half by IRON BARS. Paddy Mayne lays in
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INT. LENA’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Lena enters her luxurious hotel room, removing her shoes and head scarf. A gust pushes her window, causing it to creak. It’s ajar. 63.

Desert Rats

A disgraced British officer forms a rogue unit to strike behind enemy lines and disrupt Rommel's supply chain in a desperate attempt to turn the tide of the war in North Africa.

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Overview

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Unique Selling Point

This script offers a unique and intense portrayal of war in the Sahara Desert during World War II. With its gritty and action-oriented writing style, vivid descriptions, and concise dialogue, it immerses the audience in the dangerous and chaotic world of battle. The script stands out from others in its genre by showcasing the harsh realities and sacrifices of war, while also exploring themes of survival, camaraderie, and the human spirit. Its unique voice and storytelling techniques create a sense of urgency, tension, and emotional depth, making it compelling for its target audience. This script is a captivating and authentic piece of storytelling that offers a fresh perspective on the war genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

This rating is from a single AI engine based on structure, character, tone, and emotional engagement.

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Story Facts
Genres:
War 60% Action 30% Drama 40%

Setting: World War II, Sahara Desert, Cairo, Benghazi

Themes: Survival and Resilience, War and Conflict, Identity and Self-Discovery, Friendship and Camaraderie, Courage and Sacrifice

Conflict & Stakes: The primary conflicts in this story include Stirling's mission to counterattack Rommel's siege on Tobruk, the struggle for survival in the harsh desert environment, and the personal conflicts and tensions within Stirling's team. The stakes are high as the outcome of the battles and missions could determine the course of the war in North Africa.

Mood: Intense and gritty

Standout Features:

  • Unique Setting: The Sahara Desert and the North African campaign provide a unique and visually stunning backdrop for the story.
  • Character Development: The screenplay delves into the personal struggles and growth of the main characters, adding depth and emotional resonance to the story.
  • Action Sequences: The intense and realistic action sequences, including tank battles and desert warfare, provide thrilling and visually captivating moments.

Comparable Scripts: Lawrence of Arabia, The English Patient, The Hurt Locker, Paths of Glory, The Thin Red Line

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

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Overall Score: 7.99
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Scene Analysis

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Writer Exec

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Unique Voice
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