The Night Society

When freshman Hannah Boudreaux survives an otherworldly attack on her New Orleans campus, she’s recruited into a secret society of monster hunters — but when their charismatic mentor dies defending her, she must embrace the dark legacy she was born into to stop an ancient nobleman from ripping the veil between life and death.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its authentic New Orleans setting combined with a fresh take on supernatural societies. Unlike typical vampire/werewolf stories, it creates a sophisticated mythology around 'The Veil' and features a diverse, culturally-grounded cast of characters. The blend of Creole traditions, academic setting, and supernatural action creates a distinctive identity that sets it apart from similar genre works.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.1
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
You have a vivid, cinematic world and a strong emotional spine (Hannah’s arc and Jake’s sacrifice). The most effective rewrites will focus on tightening how the story tells its mythology: show rather than lecture. Reduce on-the-nose exposition in library/lecture scenes by moving key information into artifacts, consequences, and character action. Crucially, deepen and sharpen La Croix and Duvall’s motivations and methods so their threats feel personal and inevitable rather than abstract. Give Monica and a few Society figures one clear, earned beat after the climax so collateral damage doesn’t read as mere plot fuel. Trim or combine mid‑act reconnaissance beats to keep momentum and let scares and rituals reveal rules organically.
For Executives:
This is a marketable supernatural-action property: strong heroine, regionally specific worldbuilding (New Orleans), and high-concept hooks (Veil, blood-myth, secret society) that will play well to horror/fantasy audiences and streaming platforms. Key risks for buyers: an under-specified antagonist and repetitive exposition that blunts suspense and could reduce critical traction. A focused rewrite to clarify La Croix’s personal stakes, streamline middle-act pacing, and give secondary characters meaningful payoffs will substantially raise commercial value and lower execution risk without changing the core premise.
Story Facts
Genres:
Fantasy 45% Horror 35% Action 30% Drama 30% Thriller 25% Comedy 15%

Setting: Contemporary, New Orleans, primarily at St. Dismas University and surrounding areas, including the Garden District, the French Quarter, and the bayou.

Themes: Embracing Destiny and Courage, The Duality of Worlds: The Mundane and the Supernatural, Found Family and Belonging, The Nature of Sacrifice and Loss, Inner Strength and Identity, The Conflict Between Order and Chaos, The Burden of Knowledge and Choice, Legacy and Remembrance, Cultural Identity and Roots, The Nature of Belief and Faith

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around Hannah's struggle against supernatural threats, particularly Baron La Croix and his minions, while also dealing with personal loss and the responsibility of protecting her friends. The stakes include the safety of her loved ones and the balance between the living and the dead.

Mood: Suspenseful and ominous, with moments of humor and warmth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The protagonist's connection to her heritage and the supernatural elements tied to New Orleans folklore.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Hannah's unique bloodline and its significance in the battle against La Croix.
  • Distinctive Setting: The vibrant and atmospheric backdrop of New Orleans, enhancing the supernatural elements.
  • Innovative Ideas: The integration of local myths and legends into the narrative, providing depth and cultural relevance.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast with distinct backgrounds and motivations, particularly strong female leads.

Comparable Scripts: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, The Witcher (TV Series), Supernatural, The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater, The Craft, The Haunting of Hill House, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Data Says…
Feature in Alpha - Could have inaccuracies

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.8
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Theme (Script Level)
Gets you ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~3,464 similar revisions)
  • This is currently your highest-impact lever. Improving Theme (Script Level) is most likely to move the overall rating next.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: At your level, improving this one area alone can cover a meaningful slice of the climb toward an "all Highly Recommends" script.
2. Structure (Script Level)
Light Impact Script Level
Your current Structure (Script Level) score: 7.8
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Structure (Script Level)
Gets you ~1% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~2,863 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Structure (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.
3. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Light Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 8.8
Gets you ~1% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Note: Not enough revision data for scripts at this high level
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • Why this is flagged: We don't have enough revision data for scripts at this high score, but our model knows this is still a high-impact area to focus on for refinement.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 8.34
Key Suggestions:
The screenplay’s biggest lever for improving emotional and dramatic payoff is to deepen the antagonists—especially Baron La Croix and Marcel Duvall—so their motivations, histories, and personal ties to the Night Society (and to characters like Mambo Celeste and Jake) feel as lived-in as Hannah’s arc. Give La Croix a tragic or philosophic backstory, build a clearer, personal through-line between him and Celeste/Jake, and make Duvall more than a stooge (ambition, moral compromises, or a secret soft spot). This will raise stakes, make confrontations meaningful instead of procedural, and let the final ritual and Jake’s death land with greater resonance. As you do that, trim heavy-handed exposition (lecture/lecture-like scenes) and add short, quiet aftermath beats after major losses so the audience has space to feel the cost of these conflicts. Finally, give Monica a small but active arc beat (agency in one scene that meaningfully affects plot or Hannah) so the ensemble feels balanced and more emotionally compelling.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a rich setting and a strong heroine arc, but the emotional and thematic payoff would be far stronger if the antagonistic stakes and supernatural mechanics were deepened in the middle act. Prioritize scenes that reveal La Croix’s true aims and Duvall’s personal motives, and expand the Veil mythology with concrete consequences so the climax feels earned rather than sudden. Tighten pacing by inserting a meaningful setback mid‑act and a few connective beats that show how the Society’s history, its internal politics, and Hannah’s personal life are being reshaped by the rising threat. These changes will make character choices more believable and the final confrontation more satisfying.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
Center the screenplay's emotional throughline on Hannah by explicitly linking her Creole backstory (Mémère's folklore, family rituals) to the key choices and turning points—especially the fight sequences and Jake's death—so her transformation feels earned. Add quiet, character-building beats (small flashbacks, one-on-one conversations, or interior moments) that show how specific stories, rituals, or family values inform her tactics, instincts, and moral choices. At the same time, tighten supporting arcs (Ivy, Monica, Dash, Mambo Celeste) so they each have a clear mid-point change or payoff that echoes Hannah's growth rather than merely servicing plot mechanics.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong emotional core and vivid New Orleans atmosphere, but the middle act leans heavily into sustained high-intensity fear and action with too few emotional breathers. To improve audience engagement, insert targeted quieter beats—brief camaraderie, nostalgia, or reflective moments—between action sequences (especially scenes 15–35) and add a paced emotional decompression after major beats (Jake’s death and the final fight). Also deepen secondary arcs (Ivy, Dash, Monica) a little earlier so their choices land emotionally and expand Jake’s vulnerability before his sacrifice to increase payoff.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows a strong, emotionally resonant hero journey but one that would benefit from tightened focus: make Hannah’s internal arc (from self-doubt to sentinel) more visible and causally tied to the plot earlier, and let the screenplay’s philosophical conflict (ordinary safety vs. embracing the dark truths) play out in concrete choices across scenes. Right now much of Hannah’s growth is earned, but unevenly distributed—move key turning points (her resolve, Jake’s influence, the Veil’s stakes) earlier and ensure every action scene advances her inner change. Also lean into the distinct New Orleans cultural voice (Mambo Celeste, Creole lore) as a thematic spine while avoiding exposition dumps; show rather than tell how faith, ritual, and community shape her choices.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
This screenplay has a strong central myth (the Veil, a blood‑moon-born heroine, New Orleans' folkloric texture) and an emotionally compelling core in Hannah's transformation from local college kid to sentinel. To strengthen the script, focus on clarifying and tightening Hannah’s emotional throughline: make her personal stakes (family, legacy, why she must fight) explicit earlier and let every action scene serve that inner journey. Trim or merge scenes that repeat exposition about the Veil or the Society, deepen cultural specificity through lived details and consult local/Creole cultural advisors, and ensure Jake’s mentorship is emotionally paid off so his death lands as the crucible that forces Hannah’s final choice rather than merely a plot catalyst.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
Fix the narrative logic that currently breaks audience trust: the biggest structural problem is La Croix’s motive and method around the ritual (he needs Hannah’s blood but abducts Monica without adequate foreshadowing or justification). Resolve this by either (A) changing the ritual mechanics so the kidnapping makes sense (e.g., Monica is a necessary component, a blood-relay, or a pawn used to force Hannah to give herself willingly), or (B) rewriting La Croix/Duvall’s plan so they attempt to take Hannah directly and only later take Monica as contingency — and add earlier hints showing why Hannah is difficult to seize. While you’re at it, tighten Hannah’s decision-making so her repeated “I’ll do it alone” beats come from established emotional logic (grief, guilt, need to prove herself) rather than plot convenience, and consolidate repetitive nighttime confrontations to strengthen pacing and escalation.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your voice—richly atmospheric, character-forward, and steeped in local lore—is a major asset. To sharpen the script, focus on anchoring the supernatural rules and stakes earlier and more economically, and let character decisions reveal exposition instead of stand-alone info-dumps. Keep the tonal balance (humor, grief, menace) that scene 18 demonstrates, but tighten pacing in the first act so the audience quickly understands what’s at risk and why Hannah matters beyond genre beats.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The script's atmosphere, premise, and set pieces are strong—New Orleans and your Night Society hook are vivid and cinematic—but the emotional engine needs sharpening. Prioritize deepening character interiority (especially Hannah) and tightening thematic throughlines so that every supernatural set piece advances inner stakes. Make dialogue carry more subtext and use small, specific beats (family moments, relic motifs like the gumbo/blue-light images, the blood‑moon history) to reveal motivation and choice. Finally, run a focused pass on overall plot pacing so each complication escalates the protagonist's moral and emotional cost rather than merely delivering another monster beat.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay’s strength is its vivid Southern Gothic world and a compelling protagonist arc rooted in local culture. To sharpen impact, clarify the supernatural rules (the Veil, blood-moon resonance, limits/costs of power) and make those mechanics drive emotional stakes and character decisions rather than long exposition. Streamline info-dumps by revealing lore through conflict and sensory detail; tighten pacing around key reveals (Jake’s role/death, La Croix’s goal) so each escalation feels earned. Finally, deepen villain motivation beyond abstract hunger—give La Croix a tangible, personal rationale tied to the city’s history to raise thematic resonance and audience investment.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your screenplay’s strongest engine is its mystery—scenes tagged 'Mysterious' consistently deliver the highest engagement and push plot momentum. Action and foreboding sequences give you emotional peaks and clear character movement; quieter, warmer scenes currently read as craft-strong but emotionally muted. Lean into the mystery + foreboding backbone while tightening the emotional resonance of non-action beats: give quieter scenes a small, concrete choice or an echo of the dark stakes so the audience feels the cost of the supernatural through character interiority rather than exposition alone. Also keep exploiting your clear strength in dialogue and ritualized, instructive beats to reveal stakes without info-dumps.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.