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Scene Map 52
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
1 EXT. CEMETERY DAY
2 4
4 EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD DAY
3 6
5 INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM DAY
4 10
7 INT. EMERGENCY WAITING ROOM DAY
5 13
8 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM DAY
6 16
10 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM DAY
7 19
11 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD DAY
8 20
green and the light scent of basil and mint.INT. FAMILY
9 20
13 INT. JENNA PHILLIP’S ROOM
10 21
14 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – MOMENTS LATER
11 24
16 EXT. BUS STOP DAY
12 26
17 INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM DAY
13 27
18 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE DAY
14 28
19 INT. OFFICE BUILDING DAY
15 30
20 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE DAY
16 32
22 INT. FRONT OFFICE DAY
17 33
24 EXT. SCHOOL DAY
18 34
25 INT. CAR DAY
19 35
26 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE DAY
20 36
27 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM NIGHT
21 39
29 INT. STACEY'S HOUSE NIGHT
22 40
30 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM NIGHT
23 40
31 INT. MRI ROOM NIGHT
24 41
32 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM MOMENTS LATER
25 42
33 INT. MRI ROOM
26 42
34 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM
27 44
35 INT. SARAH AND BEN'S ROOM NIGHT
28 46
36 INT. BAR NIGHT
29 47
37 EXT. BAR NIGHT
30 49
40 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S BEDROOM MORNING
31 50
41 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK NIGHT
32 51
42 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK NIGHT
33 52
43 EXT. HOSPITAL MORNING
34 53
44 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM MORNING
35 56
46 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE MORNING
36 57
47 INT. PUB STYLE BAR - LATE AFTERNOON
37 63
48 INT. PHILLIPS'S HOUSE DINING ROOM EVENING
38 64
49 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
39 64
50 INT. ENTRY WAY NIGHT
40 66
51 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S BATHROOM NIGHT
41 66
52 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
42 67
53 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
43 68
54 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
44 73
56 INT. KITCHEN NIGHT
45 74
58 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - DAY - 14 YEARS AGO
46 75
59 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – NIGHT
47 87
61 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM NIGHT
48 88
62 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM NIGHT
49 89
63 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM NIGHT
50 100
65 INT. CLAIRE'S HOSPITAL-LIKE BEDROOM - DAY - ONE YEAR LATER
51 103
67 EXT. HOUSE NIGHT
52 104
68 EXT. HOUSE DAY
Scene Map
52
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
1 EXT. CEMETERY DAY
1 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
1 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY We see the world below as a bird flies over a picturesque rural area, with lush fields and old country roads. Small farmhouses dot the landscape, surrounded by patches of dense woods and small quilts of farm land.
2 4
4 EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD DAY
4 EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - DAY
4 EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - DAY The family is at JENNA'S's softball game. The game is at a local softball field where two middle school teams play. The atmosphere is lively and filled with the cheerful sounds of a typical softball game.
3 6
5 INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM DAY
5 INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
5 INT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY We see lights flashing against the breezeway windows as Jenna is rolled in. In the foreground are numerous paramedics and nurses' running out to help. We get a glimpse of the nurses station beyond the doors and the doors into the main
4 10
7 INT. EMERGENCY WAITING ROOM DAY
7 INT. EMERGENCY WAITING ROOM - DAY
7 INT. EMERGENCY WAITING ROOM - DAY Jenna's family have been moved to the family waiting area for critical care and are seated close to one another, each on their own couch or chair. Veiling it's macabre true purpose as a place to await confirmation of life or death of loved
5 13
8 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM DAY
8 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
8 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY The hospital room is softly lit with numerous monitors. Neutral beige machines, walls, and blankets add to the peaceful environment. Only the large black TV overhead interrupts the calming atmosphere. There is a tray of food
6 16
10 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM DAY
10 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM - DAY
10 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM - DAY We see Jenna's room, the space of a young girl torn between childhood and adulthood. A twin-sized bed, against the far wall is draped in pink bedding, flanked by posters of popular bands and personal memorabilia on a cork board. A cluttered
7 19
11 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD DAY
11 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY
11 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY The Philips live in a typical suburban neighborhood. Their house sits on quite a street with trees that flower in the spring and line the road with red and orange foliage in the fall. There's a grassy park directly across with a large
8 20
green and the light scent of basil and mint.INT. FAMILY
green and the light scent of basil and mint.INT. FAMILY
green and the light scent of basil and mint.INT. FAMILY KITCHEN – DAY They are having breakfast and playfully bickering. BEN (to Alissa)
9 20
13 INT. JENNA PHILLIP’S ROOM
13 INT. JENNA PHILLIP’S ROOM
13 INT. JENNA PHILLIP’S ROOM Jenna is finishing getting ready for school. She looks stylish, preppy and age appropriate. Teen pop rock music is playing from her phone. She’s clearly a happy, normal young teen.
10 21
14 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – MOMENTS LATER
14 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – MOMENTS LATER
14 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – MOMENTS LATER We see the updated entryway of a suburban home. To the right, ascends the staircase. The stairs boast white posts, supporting a sleek black railing that contrasts beautifully.
11 24
16 EXT. BUS STOP DAY
16 EXT. BUS STOP - DAY
16 EXT. BUS STOP - DAY A beautiful spring day unfolds with the sun shining brightly in a clear blue sky. Birds chirp and a gentle breeze rustles the leaves of the large trees lining the street. A group of
12 26
17 INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM DAY
17 INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - DAY
17 INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - DAY The Jr. High Science classroom consists of rows of Long, black countertops running along the perimeter and in rows down the middle of the room, each equipped with Bunsen burners, beakers, and an assortment of glassware. The walls
13 27
18 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE DAY
18 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE - DAY
18 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE - DAY The front office has a wall to wall mahogany desk separating the desks of the office workers from the small entry area with just enough space for a hinged countertop on the left. The ever present sign in/sign out book sits on the counter.
14 28
19 INT. OFFICE BUILDING DAY
19 INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
19 INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY Sarah, sitting at a desk, in a well lit and pleasant professional looking real estate office, is talking to Stacey. She's wearing a smart blouse and slacks, her hair is pulled up loosely and her look matches the somewhat urban
15 30
20 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE DAY
20 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE - DAY
20 INT. SCHOOL FRONT OFFICE - DAY About a half of an hour later, a chool office worker walks up from a cubicle at the back of the room. She's a little dowdy and doesn't wear makeup but still comes across as youthful because of her rosy complexion and chipper demeanor, that she
16 32
22 INT. FRONT OFFICE DAY
22 INT. FRONT OFFICE - DAY
22 INT. FRONT OFFICE - DAY STACEY Don't worry about closing for lunch. I'll stay out here and watch the desk during your break. I don't
17 33
24 EXT. SCHOOL DAY
24 EXT. SCHOOL - DAY
24 EXT. SCHOOL - DAY A spacious asphalt parking lot adjacent to the school. The lot is neatly organized with well-defined parking spaces, accommodating the cars of teachers, staff, and visitors. Around the perimeter, a few trees provide shade. A couple of
18 34
25 INT. CAR DAY
25 INT. CAR - DAY
25 INT. CAR - DAY Sarah and Jenna are in the car, in the school parking lot. The atmosphere inside the car is tense and quiet. Jenna seems lost in thought, her expression troubled. SARAH
19 35
26 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE DAY
26 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE - DAY
26 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE - DAY DR. WALKER (Walking in with chart) I wish I could say I'm happy to see you.
20 36
27 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM NIGHT
27 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM - NIGHT
27 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S ROOM - NIGHT Lying next to Jenna in her bed, Sarah is giving her daughter her headache medicine. Jenna looks worn out and has bags under her eyes. SARAH
21 39
29 INT. STACEY'S HOUSE NIGHT
29 INT. STACEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
29 INT. STACEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT Stacey's house is a cute little craftsman. It's decorated well but somewhat generically, like a staged home, mostly in beiges. It appears that she spends ample time at Home Goods. Stacey is on her L shaped greige couch. There's a furry
22 40
30 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM NIGHT
30 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM - NIGHT
30 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM - NIGHT Sarah and Ben are in a small waiting room. It's modern, with it's gray walls and furniture, and newer than most hospital waiting areas. A poster on the bright white walls reminds them to remove any any metal and gives other guidelines for
23 40
31 INT. MRI ROOM NIGHT
31 INT. MRI ROOM - NIGHT
31 INT. MRI ROOM - NIGHT By comparison to the CAT scan room, the MRI room, with it's soft colors, large windows, and art on the walls, make the room feel surprisingly welcoming. The cabinets are white with modern mirror trim in a stripe along the top and bottom of
24 41
32 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM MOMENTS LATER
32 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
32 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Stacey enters the waiting room. Ben stands politely as she enters. STACEY (Stacey looks concerned
25 42
33 INT. MRI ROOM
33 INT. MRI ROOM
33 INT. MRI ROOM We see the results of the MRI on the screen. The scan shows that Jenna is healing from her concussion and is deeply asleep. The scans need to be accurate. Dr. Walker and the radiologist looking at screen.
26 42
34 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM
34 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM
34 INT. MRI WAITING ROOM DR. WALKER (Enters looking positive) It's good news. She doesn't have any signs of a brain bleed or
27 44
35 INT. SARAH AND BEN'S ROOM NIGHT
35 INT. SARAH AND BEN'S ROOM - NIGHT
35 INT. SARAH AND BEN'S ROOM - NIGHT Sarah and Ben are facing each other, talking in bed. SARAH I'm so scared. I wish I knew how to help her. My nerves are shot. I'm
28 46
36 INT. BAR NIGHT
36 INT. BAR - NIGHT
36 INT. BAR - NIGHT Dream sequence is a series of short scenes of this memory, like seeing it in a slow strobe light. The bar is a small retro upscale lounge, complete with dim lighting and fake candles on the tables. The sounds of indie
29 47
37 EXT. BAR NIGHT
37 EXT. BAR - NIGHT
37 EXT. BAR - NIGHT The front of the building merges gritty charm with eclectic flair. The vintage neon sign, a relic from its past, now glows ironically against the backdrop of exposed brick and
30 49
40 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S BEDROOM MORNING
40 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S BEDROOM - MORNING
40 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S BEDROOM - MORNING A cozy and well-appointed middle-class bedroom. The room features a king-sized bed at its center, adorned with a plush comforter and simple yet elegant matching headboard, complementing the room's decor.
31 50
41 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK NIGHT
41 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK - NIGHT
41 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK - NIGHT A large, L-shaped workstation, equipped with multiple computer monitors, keyboards, and phones. The counter is cluttered with medical charts, patient files, and administrative documents and coffee cups. Essential
32 51
42 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK NIGHT
42 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK - NIGHT
42 INT. HOSPITAL ICU DESK - NIGHT Dr. Walker quietly talks to the night nurse and Stacey. DR. WALKER (Frazzled and commanding)
33 52
43 EXT. HOSPITAL MORNING
43 EXT. HOSPITAL - MORNING
43 EXT. HOSPITAL - MORNING A car glides smoothly along a well-paved road, approaching a large, modern hospital. The building, with its expansive windows and prominent
34 53
44 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM MORNING
44 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING
44 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING Jenna is awake and eating from a tray of hospital food. She looks normal...,with pink in her cheeks, even a little perky. Alissa is the first in the door. Ben and Sarah come in right after her.
35 56
46 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE MORNING
46 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE - MORNING
46 INT. DR. WALKER'S OFFICE - MORNING The office is small yet well-organized, with two large windows affording a view of the manicured hospital lawn. The walls are adorned with framed medical certifications, awards, and family photos. A large wooden desk sits prominently in
36 57
47 INT. PUB STYLE BAR - LATE AFTERNOON
47 INT. PUB STYLE BAR - LATE AFTERNOON
47 INT. PUB STYLE BAR - LATE AFTERNOON The walls are adorned with historical photographs and vintage British advertisements creating a casual environment comfortable for Doctors and students alike. The floor, booths, chairs and tables scattered throughout are all
37 63
48 INT. PHILLIPS'S HOUSE DINING ROOM EVENING
48 INT. PHILLIPS'S HOUSE DINING ROOM - EVENING
48 INT. PHILLIPS'S HOUSE DINING ROOM - EVENING The Phillip's dining room is a classic space with white wainscotting and chair rail underneath neutrally painted walls. A large set of three paintings of flowers hangs over an antique buffet that matches the long dining room table.
38 64
49 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
49 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
49 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The Phillip's living room is contemporary but homey with shades of beige, gray, and white, accented by pops of black, and soft pillows. Family photos hang on the walls. In the center of the room, a plush, L-shaped sectional sofa
39 64
50 INT. ENTRY WAY NIGHT
50 INT. ENTRY WAY - NIGHT
50 INT. ENTRY WAY - NIGHT Jenna looks in the entryway mirror as Ben goes outside to look around. She sees herself but with an unnatural and evil looking smile. Her mirror self beckons to her with its hand.
40 66
51 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S BATHROOM NIGHT
51 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
51 INT. JENNA PHILLIP'S BATHROOM - NIGHT The traditional bathroom with travertine tiles and a white cabinet, shared by the two sisters, has been treated to a girly makeover, complete with a small chandelier over the bath tub and rhinestone holders for the sisters toiletries
41 66
52 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
52 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
52 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A very loud crash is heard upstairs. They all run up the stairs to the bathroom shared by the sisters. Jenna is standing oddly still looking at the mirror frame. The mirror
42 67
53 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
53 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
53 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT BEN (Speaking to Jenna) Are you sure you're ok? Did you get cut?
43 68
54 INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
54 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
54 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT JENNA I wasn't scared though. I think it was a woman or a girl. She was all covered in black and she reached
44 73
56 INT. KITCHEN NIGHT
56 INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
56 INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Stacey and Jenna walk into the kitchen. Jenna glances at the window and Stacey pulls the curtain closed and smiles at her. Jenna smiles back. Stacey starts getting tea out of the cupboard while Jenna starts getting mugs. There are three
45 74
58 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - DAY - 14 YEARS AGO
58 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - DAY - 14 YEARS AGO
58 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - DAY - 14 YEARS AGO Claire's room, a combination of a guest room and hospital room, is comfortable but has a hospital bed, counter and shelves that look far more medical than decorative. There are family photos on the dresser and a few knickknacks of
46 75
59 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – NIGHT
59 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – NIGHT
59 INT. FAMILY ENTRY WAY – NIGHT Sarah, walking up to Ben as he opens the door. Ben finds Dr. Walker and Ben at the door together, having arrived at the same time.
47 87
61 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM NIGHT
61 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM - NIGHT
61 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM - NIGHT The room is unnaturally dark, the bedside lamp is still on but muted, like looking through a black fog. Staring to where the mirror had been, Jenna sits on the bed catatonically.
48 88
62 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM NIGHT
62 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM - NIGHT
62 INT. BEN AND SARAH'S ROOM - NIGHT Ben slowly opens the door. Jenna is standing there, about 5 feet away, looking very docile but evil and creepy. One hand is behind her back.
49 89
63 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM NIGHT
63 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - NIGHT
63 INT. CLAIRE'S ROOM - NIGHT The men lift Jenna into the room and onto the bed. The side rails of the bed are pulled up by Alissa and Sarah. DR. HARRIS (out of breath)
50 100
65 INT. CLAIRE'S HOSPITAL-LIKE BEDROOM - DAY - ONE YEAR LATER
65 INT. CLAIRE'S HOSPITAL-LIKE BEDROOM - DAY - ONE YEAR LATER
65 INT. CLAIRE'S HOSPITAL-LIKE BEDROOM - DAY - ONE YEAR LATER Claire, in her wheelchair, is saying goodbye to Sarah, who is now 9 months pregnant, and in labor. A nervous but excited Sarah and Ben are leaving to go to the hospital, to give birth to Jenna.
51 103
67 EXT. HOUSE NIGHT
67 EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
67 EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT Outside the house, police cars and ambulances light up the neighborhood. Stacey, having given up the fight, is arrested. Dr. Harris and Dr. Walker are talking to a police officer.
52 104
68 EXT. HOUSE DAY
68 EXT. HOUSE - DAY
68 EXT. HOUSE - DAY About a month later. The family is in the kitchen, looking content, happy, and normal. Alissa and Jenna, ready for school, do their handshake. Sarah

The Mirror Principle

A grieving mother watches her daughter’s post-concussion symptoms morph into terrifying mirror visions; to save her child she must join a skeptical doctor and a fringe psychiatrist to pull an inhuman presence from the other side — only to discover the true monster lived among them all along.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The Mirror Principle uniquely blends scientific theories of consciousness with supernatural horror, creating a psychological thriller grounded in real neurological concepts while delivering genuine scares and emotional depth through its exploration of sisterhood, grief, and the dark side of friendship.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Claude
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.5
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
You have a strong, marketable high‑concept (mirror/dream twin) anchored by a compelling emotional core (Sarah’s grief over Claire). The single most effective rewrite move is to stop telling the Mirror Principle and instead show it: dramatize the rules through small experiments, failed attempts, and visual beats (mirrors, screens, scans) so exposition can be stripped down. At the same time, seed Stacey’s jealousy and opportunity earlier with subtle micro-behaviors and lines so her confession feels earned rather than sudden. Tighten the mid‑act by pruning repetitive hospital/waiting-room scenes and by letting scares and discoveries drive information rather than extended lectures from Dr. Harris/Walker.
For Executives:
This is a commercially viable supernatural thriller with a clear USP—the fusion of a pseudo‑scientific framing (the Mirror Principle) and a family grief story—that will appeal to mainstream genre audiences. However, the current draft carries risk: mid‑act pacing stalls, exposition dumps slow momentum, and the antagonist’s motive is revealed too late, weakening the twist. A focused development pass (show, don’t tell the rules; earlier foreshadowing of Stacey; tighten the middle) would materially increase producibility and sales potential. Budget profile: moderate (practical effects, hospital sets, a few VFX-heavy mirror set pieces). Recommend a rewrite before attachment or packaging to avoid costly on‑set fixes and to maximize festival/market interest.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 50% Horror 40% Thriller 30% Comedy 10% Crime 5%

Setting: Contemporary, present day, A suburban neighborhood, primarily in a family home and hospital settings

Themes: The Lingering Impact of Grief and Trauma, The Strength and Complexity of Family Bonds, The Uncanny and Supernatural Manifestation of Trauma, The Conflict Between Science and the Unexplainable, The Nature of Identity and Transformation, Betrayal and the Unreliable Nature of Trust, The Cycle of Life and Death, and Legacy

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around Jenna's supernatural experiences following a head injury, which threaten her well-being and the family's stability, while Sarah grapples with unresolved grief over her sister Claire's death.

Mood: Tense and emotional, with elements of horror and family drama.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of supernatural elements with a family's struggle to cope with grief and trauma.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Stacey's involvement in Claire's death adds a shocking layer to the narrative.
  • Innovative Idea: The concept of a character experiencing a split between their physical and supernatural selves, exploring themes of identity and trauma.
  • Distinctive Setting: The suburban family home juxtaposed with hospital settings creates a relatable yet eerie atmosphere.

Comparable Scripts: The Sixth Sense, A Quiet Place, The Others, Pet Sematary, The Haunting of Hill House, The Conjuring, The Babadook, The Fault in Our Stars, The Lovely Bones

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Premise (Script Level) and Theme (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Premise (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Premise (Script Level) score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.6 in Premise (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~5,025 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Premise (Script Level) by about +0.6 in one rewrite.
2. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.7
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.6 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,821 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.6 in one rewrite.
3. Originality (Script Level)
Moderate Impact Script Level
Your current Originality (Script Level) score: 7.6
Expected gain: ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.8 in Originality (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,395 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Originality (Script Level) by about +0.8 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.74
Key Suggestions:
Tighten the screenplay by nailing down the Mirror Principle's rules and using them to drive plot and emotion. Right now the supernatural logic is fuzzy, which undermines stakes, pacing, and character choices. Define clear limits, triggers, and costs for mirror/anti-matter manifestations and reveal them organically (show-don’t-tell) across scenes so each encounter escalates logically. Simultaneously, deepen Stacey’s motivation earlier with subtle foreshadowing — a few small, character-driven moments that explain her jealousy and entitlement will make the betrayal feel earned rather than abrupt. These two fixes will sharpen tension, improve emotional payoff, and make the climax more satisfying.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
You have a strong emotional core (grief, family bonds) and an intriguing high-concept hook (The Mirror Principle). The priority is to make the supernatural threat and its link to Claire feel earned: explicitly seed the Mirror Principle earlier through small visual motifs and dialogue, and give the entity a clearer motivation/tie to Claire so the climax lands emotionally. Flesh out Stacey’s escalation from friend to antagonist (show pressure, jealousy, incremental moral slides) and broaden Alissa’s role so the family’s trauma has more varied consequences. Finally, slow the final act slightly — let the mist/possession build more insidiously and allow time to explore the psychological aftermath rather than resolving everything abruptly.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong emotional core (Sarah's grief, family bonds) that elevates the supernatural beats, but several character and structural issues dilute payoff: the antagonist reveal (Stacey) feels sudden because the script under-foreshadows and under-humanizes her; supporting players (Ben, Dr. Walker, Alissa) are often reactive rather than proactive; and Sarah's transformation could be staged more clearly so the climax feels earned. Prioritize planting early, subtle behavioral and textual clues about Stacey's jealousy, deepen Dr. Walker and Ben with one personal wound each, and give Jenna/Alissa a couple of active, consequential choices to increase agency and audience investment. These changes will make the twist more believable, tighten emotional stakes, and sharpen dramatic momentum throughout the middle act.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong (grief, family warmth, medical crisis) but loses impact during a prolonged, high-intensity supernatural stretch. Prioritize rebalancing emotional pacing: introduce brief tenderness, humor, or professional camaraderie amid the horror sequences (scenes ~37–49) to create contrast and prevent audience desensitization. Also deepen character agency and motivation—give Jenna moments of active resistance and expand Stacey's backstory and emotional rationale earlier so her later confession feels earned rather than abrupt. Small targeted rewrites (one or two bridging scenes, a few line tweaks) will restore variety and strengthen the payoff.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows the screenplay’s emotional core is Sarah’s journey from grief-driven denial to active acceptance and protection of her family. To strengthen the script, tighten and foreground Sarah’s decision-making: make her internal struggle visible through concrete choices and setbacks (not just reactions). Clarify the antagonist (supernatural force vs. human betrayal) so the final confrontation feels earned, and avoid resolving major stakes by coincidence or late exposition. Streamline scenes that duplicate medical procedural detail and reallocate that time to deepen character beats—especially Jenna’s agency and Sarah’s moral turning points—so the thematic throughline (Acceptance vs. Denial) carries the structural payoffs.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script, focus on deepening the exploration of grief and trauma, ensuring that these themes resonate throughout the characters' arcs. Consider refining the supernatural elements to serve as more than just plot devices; they should reflect the characters' internal struggles and emotional states. Additionally, the complexity of family dynamics should be emphasized, showcasing how love and support can both heal and complicate relationships in the face of trauma. This will create a richer narrative that resonates with audiences on multiple levels.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strongest engine is the blend of family drama and supernatural horror, but it stalls because the central twist (Stacey as Claire's murderer) and the rules for the entity feel undeveloped. Prioritize rewrites that: (1) give Stacey credible motivation and incremental behavioral changes (foreshadowing, small lies, morally ambiguous choices) so her reveal doesn't read as plot-convenient; (2) tighten the supernatural 'mirror principle' — establish clear, repeatable rules or a plausible pseudo-scientific mechanism early so the audience can follow cause-and-effect; and (3) fix the strychnine/cover-up timeline with practical detail (how it avoided detection, why Stacey stayed trusted). Consider alternative explanations (entity manipulation, unreliable narrator, or Stacey coerced) if keeping a human villain strains credibility. These fixes will preserve emotional stakes and make the payoff feel earned rather than manufactured.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
You have a strong, emotionally intimate voice that grounds supernatural elements in everyday family life — lean into that strength while tightening the mechanics and pacing. The single biggest improvement is to codify the supernatural rules and ensure each horror beat is motivated by character (not just spectacle). Make the entity's behavior consistent, clearly link manifestations to Jenna/Sarah's emotional journey, and tighten or combine scenes that repeat the same scares so the story builds steadily toward the reveal without losing the audience in repeated shocks.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
You have a strong emotional core and convincing family dynamics; to elevate the screenplay, focus first on sharpening dialogue and subtext. Trim on-the-nose lines, let scenes imply emotion through action and small physical beats, and use silence or partial information to build tension. Secondarily, tighten scene-level pacing (especially around reveals and the supernatural beats) so suspense escalates more rhythmically. Practical next steps: rewrite key scenes with dialogue-only and tension-escalation exercises, and apply structural lessons from the recommended books to ensure character choices consistently drive the plot.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script’s core strength is the collision of intimate suburban family drama with creeping supernatural horror grounded in medical realism. To sharpen the impact, codify the supernatural rules early and weave clear, subtle foreshadowing of the antagonist and key reveals throughout the first two acts so the late betrayals and possession beats feel earned rather than sudden. Also tighten tonal transitions between hospital procedural scenes and horror set-pieces, and prune redundant exposition so emotional beats (Sarah’s guilt, Jenna’s trauma, Stacey’s role) get more screen time and clarity.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your script’s biggest asset is its emotionally charged set-pieces — when you push into grief, fear, or family conflict the story advances and characters change in meaningful ways. Lean into that: tighten or rework quieter, low-conflict scenes so they either (a) reveal character through subtext or (b) plant clues that pay off later. Keep the strong dialogue voice intact, and use the supernatural beats to escalate stakes incrementally so every emotional high both satisfies and propels the next scene.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.