Red, White & Doomed Sample – First 3 scenes only

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Summary This feature screenplay follows the lives of various characters working in different departments of a company. In the first scene, Jenny advises her colleague Whitney on how to track her cheating husband, while Director Weaver reminds them of their upcoming responsibilities. The second scene takes place in an underground complex, where Whitney and Jenny celebrate social media engagement and preorders of their latest project with their superior Rajesh. The final scene follows Bradley Forrest as he negotiates over the phone with an unnamed operator about bringing his own firearm to a retreat in Washington, DC. The tone of the screenplay varies from light-hearted and positive to tense and frustrated.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot/story in the first three scenes shows potential with intriguing character dynamics and conflicts. The humor and light-hearted tone in the first scene involving Jenny, Whitney, and Director Weaver sets a playful foundation. The positive and celebratory mood in the second scene with Whitney, Jenny, and Rajesh adds depth to their relationships. However, the tension and frustration in the third scene with Bradley's firearm negotiation could be off-putting for some viewers. The transition between scenes could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the screenplay.
Suggestions:
  • Consider adding more depth to Whitney's marital issues to provide a stronger emotional arc for her character.
  • Explore the power dynamics between Jenny, Whitney, and Director Weaver to create more layers to their relationships.
  • Introduce subtle hints or foreshadowing in the second scene to build anticipation for future conflicts or developments.
  • Find a balance between tension and humor in the third scene to maintain engagement without alienating the audience.
  • Work on smoother transitions between scenes to improve the flow and coherence of the overall story.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here


Theme Theme Details Theme Explanation
Trust and Betrayal (30%)This theme is present in Jenny's advice to Whitney about tracking her husband's activities, Bradley's frustration over not being able to bring his own firearm, and the general suspicions and conflicts in the screenplay.The theme of trust and betrayal is prevalent as characters navigate suspicions of infidelity, breaking rules, and negotiating trust in different relationships.
Strengthening Trust and Betrayal:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1 Have Jenny express more skepticism towards the Director, showing a lack of trust in her motives or actions.
Action - Scene 3 Show Bradley exhibiting behavior that hints at betrayal or deception, such as secretive phone calls or hidden agendas.
Character Arc Introduce a character who initially seems trustworthy but later betrays the main characters, emphasizing the theme of trust and betrayal.
Visual - Scene 2 Use lighting and camera angles to create a sense of unease or tension during the scene in the bathroom, foreshadowing potential betrayals to come.
Story Arc Introduce a subplot that revolves around a betrayal within the workplace, highlighting the theme of trust and betrayal in a different context.
Power and Authority (25%)This theme is present in the power dynamic between the characters and Director Weaver, the negotiation between Bradley and the operator, and the overall theme of responsibility and following rules.The theme of power and authority is depicted through various interactions, conflicts, and decisions made by the characters, highlighting the importance of hierarchy and following guidelines.
Friendship and Camaraderie (15%)This theme is present in the interactions between Jenny and Whitney, their supportive relationship, and the celebration among coworkers in the underground complex.The theme of friendship and camaraderie is showcased through characters bonding, supporting each other through challenges, and celebrating successes together, emphasizing the importance of teamwork and unity.
Secrecy and Deception (10%)This theme is present in Whitney's suspicions of her husband cheating, the mysterious retreat in Washington, DC, and the element of hidden agendas within the characters.The theme of secrecy and deception is explored through characters keeping secrets, uncovering hidden motives, and dealing with unexpected revelations, showcasing the complexity of relationships and trust.
Responsibility and Accountability (10%)This theme is present in Director Weaver's reminder of the upcoming episode's importance, the rules and regulations in Bradley's negotiation, and the characters' dedication to their work in the underground complex.The theme of responsibility and accountability is depicted through characters facing consequences, making tough decisions, and acknowledging their duties and obligations, highlighting the importance of integrity and professionalism.
Humor and Playfulness (10%)This theme is present in the light-hearted tone of the screenplay, the joking exchanges between characters, and the humorous moments in different scenes.The theme of humor and playfulness adds a light-hearted element to the screenplay, offering comedic relief, enhancing character dynamics, and engaging the audience with entertaining moments.




Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

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Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts