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Scene Map 31
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT BEDROOM NIGHT
2 3
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
3 6
EXT SORORITY HOUSE NIGHT
4 7
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
5 17
INT BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT
6 21
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
7 26
INT STAIRCASE – NIGHT
8 28
INT LIVING ROOM - SAME
9 28
INT BATHROOM NIGHT
10 31
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
11 33
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT
12 34
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
13 37
INT LIVING ROOM - SAME
14 42
INT SUE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
15 44
INT CLOSET CONTINUOUS
16 45
INT SUE’S ROOM CONTINUOUS
17 46
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
18 47
INT SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN NIGHT
19 50
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
20 54
INT BASEMENT NIGHT
21 59
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
22 64
INT BASEMENT NIGHT
23 68
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
24 72
INT LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER
25 73
INT FOYER CONTINUOUS
26 74
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY NIGHT
27 74
INT UPSTAIRS LANDING CONTINUOUS
28 75
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY MOMENTS LATER
29 76
INT ATTIC NIGHT
30 85
INT POLICE CRUISER MORNING
31 86
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
Scene Map
31
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT BEDROOM NIGHT
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
DREAM BOY Written by Dane Hooks Version 7 12.25
2 3
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – NIGHT Wind howls against tall, arched windows. Stacks loom like silent towers.
3 6
EXT SORORITY HOUSE NIGHT
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT The blizzard SHRIEKS, clawing the sky. Through the white squall, an old Tudor-style sorority house emerges -- Sagging under snow, steep gables stab upward.
4 7
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Holiday lights sag in lazy zigzags across the walls—half burnt out, half hanging on by a thread. The place carries end-of-semester exhaustion: blankets half- folded, crumbs, empty wine bottles.
5 17
INT BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT The girls huddle together at the top of the basement stairs. A single pull-chain bulb flickers below—weak, yellow, barely pushing back the dark. BROOKE
6 21
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The storm outside thrashes. Wind scratches the windows. In the center of the room -- The “Dream Boy” box sits on the coffee table -- neon pink letters glinting.
7 26
INT STAIRCASE – NIGHT
INT. STAIRCASE – NIGHT
INT. STAIRCASE – NIGHT Chelsea climbs, each step groaning under her weight. Her lantern flickers. Halfway up -- She stops.
8 28
INT LIVING ROOM - SAME
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME Brooke sinks onto the couch, gripping a pillow like a life vest. BROOKE Okay, let’s walk this out like
9 28
INT BATHROOM NIGHT
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Chelsea shuts the door behind her with a SNAP -- sets her lantern on the sink. Its bluish glow makes her skin look waxy -- like a mannequin.
10 31
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK) GASLIGHT flickers. Velvet wallpaper breathes against the slanted ceiling. Four women sit around a mahogany table—faces pale, expectant. At the head --
11 33
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER – NIGHT Riley and Lilly race down the hallway, lanterns swinging, breathless with panic. Beams play across rows of closed doors -- LILLY
12 34
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Brooke sits curled in the corner of the couch, knees to her chest, staring at the pink Dream Boy box on the coffee table. The house creaks above her. BROOKE
13 37
INT LIVING ROOM - SAME
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME Brooke takes a hesitant step forward -- CLICK. The TV behind her turns on by itself. Static.
14 42
INT SUE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
INT. SUE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
INT. SUE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT Dust floats in beam-thin strips of lantern light. The room is immaculate -- Lace curtains pinned stiff. A canopy bed with sheets pressed flat.
15 44
INT CLOSET CONTINUOUS
INT. CLOSET - CONTINUOUS
INT. CLOSET - CONTINUOUS Flashlights reveal shelves stacked with melted candles, dusty amulets, and thick leather-bound books. On the back wall -- POLAROIDS.
16 45
INT SUE’S ROOM CONTINUOUS
INT. SUE’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
INT. SUE’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS Riley SLAMS the closet panel shut — the sound cracks through the room like a snapped bone. She snatches a silver hairbrush from the vanity, hands trembling.
17 46
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS They spill into the hallway -- lantern light jittering wildly across peeling wallpaper. Behind them, the laughter CUTS OFF mid-breath. The silence that follows is worse.
18 47
INT SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN NIGHT
INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) A soft HUM from the old refrigerator. The house is dead still, steeped in shadows. Riley enters in pajamas and a hoodie. She rubs her eyes, still half-asleep, flicks on the overhead
19 50
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT) Riley and Lilly race into an empty living room. LILLY Brooke? Chelsea? Guys?!
20 54
INT BASEMENT NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT The staircase looms in front of Riley and Lilly, half- swallowed by shadow. They descend. RILEY
21 59
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The room sits in stillness. The basement door opens -- Lilly bursts in, panting. She turns around.
22 64
INT BASEMENT NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT Riley creeps forward. Shadows swing wildly across walls -- pulsing like a vein. Each footstep throbs in the silence. Then --
23 68
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Riley bursts into the room, gasping. The living room looks... almost normal. No gym. No Eddie. No Sue. Just the quiet glow of a floor lamp.
24 72
INT LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER
INT. LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER
INT. LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER Riley rushes in -- hair wild, face pale. The room swims around her. The walls pulse like they’re breathing. The air is thick, humid, heavy.
25 73
INT FOYER CONTINUOUS
INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS
INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS Riley sprints up the staircase -- But the stairs STRETCH beneath her, elongating with every step -- Old wood groans like a living throat.
26 74
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY NIGHT
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT Riley barrels forward -- The hallway ahead blooms wider, then narrows -- breathing in and out, like a throat. Runners of hair spill from door seams, threading into ropes
27 74
INT UPSTAIRS LANDING CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING - CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING - CONTINUOUS A lone candle burns on the landing -- Its flame is black, licking up oily sparks of darkness. From the shadows... SUE steps forward. Porcelain skin. Perfect hair.
28 75
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY MOMENTS LATER
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER Riley whirls -- Dream Boys surge from both ends of the hall, sliding forward without lifting their feet -- Their perfect smiles split, revealing serrated teeth beneath.
29 76
INT ATTIC NIGHT
INT. ATTIC - NIGHT
INT. ATTIC - NIGHT Riley shoulders the hatch. WHOOF -- The air pressure collapses.
30 85
INT POLICE CRUISER MORNING
INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING
INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING Riley slides into the back seat. The door shuts with a padded thunk. The air smells of melting snow and burnt coffee. She leans her forehead against the plexiglass divider.
31 86
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT Fast asleep, Riley slumps over an open textbook. A pool of lamplight bathes her face. A hand gently squeezes her shoulder. LIBRARIAN (V.O.)

Dream Boy

In a blizzard-trapped sorority house, four college girls unearth a cursed 1970s board game that summons dream lovers as demonic entities, forcing survivor Riley to confront her stalker's release and the house's century-old pact with a hungering demon.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its blend of supernatural horror and character-driven drama. The premise of a cursed board game that traps a group of college students in a haunted sorority house is both compelling and original, with the potential to appeal to a wide audience interested in horror and psychological thrillers. The script's focus on the characters' personal struggles and trauma adds depth and emotional resonance, making it stand out from more conventional horror fare.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Consider
Claude
 Consider
Average Score: 7.6
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Lean into the script’s strongest asset—Riley’s survivor arc—by deepening the emotional lives of the supporting girls and tightening the supernatural logic that drives the scares. Add a few short but specific micro-scenes or beats early on that show the sisters’ distinct bonds with Riley (small, human moments that make losses feel earned). At the same time, codify the game/house rules on-page: establish a few clear, repeatable mechanics (why hair binds, what ‘blood releases’ actually does, why burning the box fails) and seed them visually before major payoffs so the climax reads as earned rather than arbitrary. Finally, trim or re-arrange repetitive mid-act set pieces to maintain momentum and make each horror beat escalate meaningfully toward the attic confrontation.
For Executives:
Dream Boy is a marketable, female-led supernatural horror with a strong visual hook (the Dream Boy game, hair/Polaroid motifs) and a survivor-centric protagonist—elements that play well at festivals and in the streaming marketplace. The key commercial risks are emotional underinvestment in the ensemble (which weakens word-of-mouth and awards potential) and inconsistent supernatural rules (which can frustrate savvy genre audiences and critics). With targeted rewrites to deepen supporting characters and tighten the mythic mechanics—while preserving the standout set pieces—this can be positioned as a high-impact indie horror with crossover appeal to younger, socially aware audiences.
Story Facts
Genres:
Horror 70% Thriller 40% Drama 30% Fantasy 10%

Setting: Contemporary, A sorority house and campus library, primarily set in a college town

Themes: The Enduring and Cyclical Nature of Trauma and Supernatural Manifestation, The Occult and Ritual as a Conduit for Horror, The Psychological Impact of Fear and Loss of Innocence, Identity and the Search for Self in the Face of External Threats, The Illusion of Safety and the Unseen Dangers of the Mundane, Sisterhood and Shared Vulnerability

Conflict & Stakes: Riley's struggle against supernatural forces linked to her past and the threat posed by Ethan's release, with the lives of her friends at stake.

Mood: Suspenseful and eerie, with moments of horror and psychological tension.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The incorporation of a cursed game that ties the characters' fates to supernatural forces.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation that the house has a cyclical curse that repeats every fifty years.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of Polaroids and hair dolls as supernatural elements that connect the characters to their fears.
  • Distinctive Settings: The eerie sorority house and the atmospheric campus library create a haunting backdrop.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast of characters, each with their own fears and backgrounds, enhancing the story's depth.

Comparable Scripts: The Ring, It Follows, Final Destination, The Haunting of Hill House, Scream, The Craft, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Pretty Little Liars, The Conjuring

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Character Development (Script Level) and Emotional Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Character Development (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Character Development (Script Level) score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.45 in Character Development (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~4,107 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Character Development (Script Level) by about +0.45 in one rewrite.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.5
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,773 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
3. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 7.9
Expected gain: ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.48 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,041 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.48 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.88
Key Suggestions:
Lean into character work: deepen Chelsea, Brooke and Lilly with compact, specific backstory beats (short flashbacks, revealing lines, or private moments) that tie directly to the film’s themes of visibility, trauma and being 'claimed.' Make those emotional stakes inform their choices during the game so the horror feels personal rather than just spectacular. At the same time, tighten the supernatural mechanics—show the 'Dream Boy' rules and consequences earlier and concretely via props/clues (sigils, a rule card, the hair doll) so the audience understands what’s at risk and why Riley’s ritual choices matter. Small, well-placed additions will amplify empathy and sharpen the narrative drive without bloating running time.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong heroine, vivid set pieces, and a compelling central conceit (the Dream Boy game + haunted sorority), but it becomes diffuse: multiple demons, shifting rules, and rapid surreal beats dilute emotional impact. Focus the supernatural through one clear antagonist or ritual logic (e.g., Asmodeus/Sue as the singular engine) and tighten the middle act so choices have readable consequences. Deepen a couple of supporting backstories so reactions feel earned, sprinkle concrete foreshadowing of the game's rules early, and simplify correlations between hallucinations and stakes to preserve tension and make the climax emotionally satisfying.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis shows you have a strong, emotionally resonant protagonist in Riley anchored by a clear trauma metaphor (stalking → supernatural 'Dream Boy' ritual). To raise the script, double down on Riley’s internal arc: give more concrete, repeatable triggers and internal beats (thoughts, micro-actions) so audiences can follow her transformation from fearful to active. At the same time, tighten the supporting cast by giving Brooke, Chelsea, and Lilly distinct emotional stakes and turning points — a few scenes (flagged as weak) underuse them or let supernatural set-pieces eclipse human drama. Prioritize scenes that show relationships changing (not just scares) so the horror lands as character consequence rather than spectacle.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows the script delivers relentless, high-quality horror setpieces but lacks emotional breathing room and deeper empathy for supporting characters. To strengthen audience investment, introduce deliberate quieter moments (30–90 seconds) between major scares, deepen Chelsea/Brooke/Lilly with one or two specific, humanizing beats each before their deaths, and tie Riley’s climax more directly to her Ethan trauma so her victory reads as emotional catharsis, not just supernatural triumph.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows your script's strongest asset is a clear, compelling throughline: Riley’s journey from terror to agency. To tighten the script, focus on aligning the supernatural rules and visual motifs (hair, Polaroids, the Dream Boy game, sigil) more directly with Riley’s internal arc so the climax feels earned. Clarify the mechanics of the game earlier and use smaller, character-led beats that demonstrate Riley exercising agency before the attic showdown—this will amplify the emotional payoff and make the horror stakes resonate rather than just escalate visually.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script’s core — trauma as a cyclical, supernatural force — is powerful and emotionally resonant, but it needs sharper thematic and structural discipline. Focus on clarifying the occult rules (the Dream Boy game, hair-bindings, the fifty‑year cycle) and anchor every supernatural escalation to Riley’s emotional choices. Trim or combine repetitive scare beats, tighten pacing so the ritual’s mechanics and consequences land earlier, and make Riley’s agency and transformation (victim → fighter) unmistakable and earned. Strengthen Sue/Asmodeus’ motivation as a mirror to Riley’s trauma so the final confrontation feels inevitable rather than arbitrary.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's primary weakness is structural: key backstory and stakes arrive too late, which makes Riley's evolution from terrified victim to active opponent feel abrupt and under-motivated. Tighten the cause-and-effect by seeding lore (Sue/Asmodeus, the Dream Boy ritual, the sigil) earlier and spread Riley's coping/skill-building across the first half so her decisive moments feel earned. Remove repetitive beats (e.g., identical breathing exercises) or vary them to track emotional progress. Small structural shifts — an earlier flashback, a short scene showing Riley's occult knowledge or uncle's coaching, and additional foreshadowing via Polaroids/sigil hints — will make the climax and character choices land emotionally and logically.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
You have a potent, identifiable voice that excels at atmosphere, sensory detail, and psychological dread. To elevate the script further, tighten the mechanics that drive the supernatural action (the game, the sigil, Sue/Asmodeus) and make the rules and stakes clearer and consistent so the audience can emotionally invest in the characters' choices. Trim repetitive beats (e.g., repeated breathing exercises) or make them meaningful callbacks, deepen character agency (give Riley clearer, active choices rather than reactive escapes), and tighten pacing in places where the imagery risks crowding the narrative so the horror lands with greater impact.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The script's atmosphere and set-piece imagination are strong, but the emotional core needs sharpening. Prioritize deepening Riley's arc—make her fears, choices, and growth drive each supernatural beat—while tightening dialogue so exchanges reveal subtext and motivation. Trim or rework repetitive suspense passages to tighten pacing: ensure every scene advances either plot or character (ideally both). Practical next steps: map Riley's internal arc across scenes, assign a clear emotional beat to each scene, and run focused rewrites on key dialogue-heavy moments to reveal stakes through action and subtext rather than exposition.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world-building is strong and vividly atmospheric, but the script would benefit from tightening the supernatural rules and sharpening Riley’s emotional throughline. Focus on making the occult mechanics (hair, Polaroids, pink phone, Dream Boy game) consistently understandable and directly tied to Riley’s trauma so each set-piece escalates the stakes and pays off emotionally. Trim repetitive scare beats, consolidate motifs, and ensure the protagonist’s choices — not just reactive survival — drive the climax for a more satisfying payoff.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your script’s atmosphere and supernatural imagery are a real strength — scenes reliably deliver high emotional impact. That said, the craft issues most likely to blunt the story’s power are: uneven character development in quieter/transitional scenes, and weaker dialogue precisely when stakes are highest. Tighten mid‑script escalation to avoid a plateau, and use more focused, revealing interpersonal beats within high‑tension moments so the audience both fears the house and cares for the people inside it. Consider pruning tone overload in complex scenes so plot and character motivations stay clear.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Originality - narrativeInnovation: 7.4 → 8.3 +0.9
  • Emotional Impact - emotionalComplexity: 7.8 → 8.5 +0.7
  • Conflict - conflictIntegration: 7.8 → 8.5 +0.7
  • Visual Imagery - symbolismMotifs: 8.2 → 8.5 +0.3
  • Premise - premiseDepth: 7.7 → 8.0 +0.3
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected