End Date
A grieving teen who can literally see people's expiry dates saves lives until an innocent child's death forces him to choose between playing god and learning to accept mortality — a city-wide mystery unravels when the dates begin to vanish.
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Unique Selling Point
END DATE combines the supernatural premise of seeing death dates with profound philosophical questions about fate, free will, and moral responsibility. Unlike typical 'psychic' stories, it focuses on the emotional and ethical consequences of this knowledge rather than crime-solving. The script's unique angle—that saving one life transfers death to another—creates compelling moral dilemmas that would resonate with audiences seeking thoughtful, character-driven supernatural drama.
AI Verdict & Suggestions
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Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Consider
Recommend
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Story Facts
Genres:Setting: April 17, 2026, with flashbacks to 2019 and future dates extending to 2072., A suburban neighborhood, high school, hospital, and various city settings.
Themes: The Burden of Foresight and the Illusion of Control, Grief and Loss, Responsibility and Sacrifice, Acceptance and Letting Go, Love and Connection, Existentialism and the Meaning of Life
Conflict & Stakes: Eli's internal struggle with his ability to foresee death dates and the moral implications of his actions, particularly regarding his father's impending death.
Mood: Somber and introspective, with moments of tension and emotional release.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The ability to see death dates above people's heads, creating a unique narrative tension.
- Major Twist: Eli realizes that saving one life may lead to another's death, complicating his moral choices.
- Innovative Idea: The concept of time and fate being visually represented through floating dates adds a supernatural layer to the story.
- Distinctive Setting: The suburban neighborhood juxtaposed with hospital and school settings creates a relatable yet eerie atmosphere.
Comparable Scripts: The Fault in Our Stars, The Lovely Bones, Dead Like Me, Before I Fall, The Time Traveler's Wife, A Monster Calls, The Sixth Sense, The OA, Everything, Everything
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Script Level Analysis
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
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Screenplay Insights
Breaks down your script along various categories.
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Logic & Inconsistencies
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Scene Analysis
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Analysis of the Scene Percentiles
- The script excels in emotional impact, ranking in the 99th percentile, indicating a strong ability to evoke feelings and connect with the audience.
- High scores in character changes (98th percentile) and internal goal score (96th percentile) suggest well-developed characters with meaningful arcs.
- The structure score (97th percentile) indicates a solid framework, likely contributing to a coherent and engaging narrative.
- The dialogue rating (74th percentile) could be enhanced to create more authentic and engaging interactions between characters.
- The external goal score (29th percentile) suggests that the script may lack clear, compelling external objectives for the characters, which could drive the plot more effectively.
- With a low originality score (20th percentile), the writer should focus on developing unique concepts or twists to differentiate the script from existing works.
The writer appears to be more intuitive, with strengths in character development and emotional resonance, but lower scores in concept and originality.
Balancing Elements- To balance the script, the writer should work on enhancing the external goals and originality to complement the strong character development and emotional impact.
- Improving dialogue quality can also help in creating a more engaging narrative that aligns with the high emotional stakes.
Intuitive
Overall AssessmentThe script shows significant potential due to its strong emotional and character-driven elements, but it requires improvements in plot clarity and originality to reach a broader audience.
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Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
Top Takeaways from This Section
GPT5
Executive Summary
- Powerful visual hook established immediately: subtle, non-glowing floating dates create a cinematic, memorable image that sells the premise in one beat. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – MORNING) )
- Strong emotional origin: Eli's mother’s death is shown simply but devastatingly and anchors his motivations throughout the pilot; the early scenes ground the speculative hook in real grief. high ( Scene 6 (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT (YEARS AGO)) Scene 8 (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – CONTINUOUS) )
- Clear, escalating stakes and personal cost: the arc that culminates in Mark’s death is well staged and creates believable, painful stakes for Eli that drive his choices. high ( Scene 21 (INT. ELI’S ROOM – NIGHT (APRIL 16, 2026)) Scene 25 (EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS (Mark dies)) )
- Introduction of an ally/foil (Ms. Harper) who both validates Eli and offers a possible series partner — the scene smartly moves the story from isolation toward potential help and investigation. medium ( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL – GUIDANCE OFFICE – AFTERNOON) )
- Satisfying and surprising emotional resolution: Eli's arc from trying to control life to accepting witness is resolved with a meaningful, unexpected payoff (his date appears and then fades as dates across the city vanish) — visually and thematically resonant. high ( Scene 39 (INT. ER – CONTINUOUS) Scene 40 (EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE – MORNING) )
- Rules of the phenomenon are inconsistent. Early scenes suggest intervention 'moves' death (saving someone shifts a date to someone else), later scenes show dates sometimes jump forward or disappear citywide. Clarify mechanics: when does intervention move death, when does it delay it, and why do dates eventually vanish? Tightening these rules will avoid audience confusion and maintain stakes. high ( Scene 5 (EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – LATER (Janitor Shift)) Scene 32 (INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT (Ambulance / Mother-date jumps)) )
- Moral inconsistency and pacing in the middle: Eli’s moral flip — from 'one life must matter' to selective inaction to full remorse — is compelling but sometimes feels rushed or reactive. The crosswalk sequence is effective but could use more interior beats to sell Eli’s decision and aftermath, avoiding the appearance of plot-driven moral guilt. medium ( Scene 33 (EXT. CITY CROSSWALK – LATE AFTERNOON) Scene 34 (EXT. CROSSWALK – MOMENTS LATER (Violin girl dies)) )
- Ms. Harper is a promising secondary character but underwritten. Expand her arc/agency beyond belief to become an investigative partner or an ethical counterpoint; right now she functions mainly as a confidant without a clear agenda or stakes. medium ( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL – GUIDANCE OFFICE – AFTERNOON) )
- Final payoff feels abrupt and risks undermining serialized mystery. The city-wide disappearance of dates is a beautiful image, but it needs a clearer causal beat or foreshadowing to satisfy ongoing audience curiosity (is this the end of the phenomenon? did Eli cause it?). high ( Scene 40 (EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE – MORNING) )
- A series-level antagonist or institutional response: No government, religious, academic, or media response is shown. Who else knows? Will society react? This is crucial for long-form conflict beyond Eli’s internal struggle. high
- Backstory depth for Eli’s family: Mom’s illness is the emotional core but is handled in shorthand. More concrete moments with the mother (her personality, their relationship) would deepen empathy and sharpen Eli’s motivations. medium ( Scene 6 (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT (YEARS AGO)) )
- Long-term plan and investigation: After Ms. Harper believes him, there’s no follow-up investigative thread (tracking origins of the dates, testing the phenomenon) — missing a procedural/serial engine that could structure subsequent episodes. high ( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL – GUIDANCE OFFICE – AFTERNOON) )
- Consequences for interventions: Legal, social, or psychological fallout when Eli intervenes (e.g., being accused of causing death by omission or saved-by-hero) is hinted at but not fully explored. The script needs connective tissue showing how the world treats unexpected survival/shifted deaths. medium ( Scene 30 (INT. DINER – DAY) )
- Series mythology/origin: The pilot never proposes hypotheses about where the dates come from or why Eli can see them — an intentional mystery is fine, but planting a credible seed or theory (scientific, religious, supernatural) would strengthen the serialized hook. high ( Scene 39 (INT. ER – CONTINUOUS) )
- Elegant opening that shows rather than tells: the floating dates are introduced in a quiet, everyday context making the fantastic feel both intimate and eerie. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – MORNING) )
- Strong emotional staging of the inciting personal tragedy — Mark’s death is played with restraint and allows the audience to feel Eli’s guilt without melodrama. high ( Scene 25 (EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS (Mark dies)) )
- Pilot is structurally sound in escalating dilemmas — small rescues, then moral omission leading to an innocent’s death, then cathartic resolution — the escalation is effective and emotionally coherent. medium ( Scene 29 (EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT (Man struck)) Scene 33 (EXT. CITY CROSSWALK – LATE AFTERNOON) )
- Turning point of the protagonist: Eli’s crossing out of 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' is a clear internal beat that marks his ethical reorientation and sells his eventual acceptance. high ( Scene 36 (INT. ELI’S BEDROOM – NIGHT (after violin girl)) )
- The final image of dates vanishing across the city is visually iconic and provides an emotionally satisfying, image-driven close for a pilot. high ( Scene 40 (EXT. HOSPITAL STRUCTURE – BACK TO ELI (dates vanish)) )
- Mechanics/Rule Blindspot The writer doesn’t consistently apply or foreshadow the rules governing how dates respond to intervention (e.g., moving, jumping forward, disappearing). Examples: Sequence 5 suggests saving someone moves the date to another person; Sequence 32 shows a date jumping forward unexpectedly; Sequence 40 has dates vanish citywide. Without clearer rules or deliberate subversion, these moments risk feeling like conveniences rather than discovered properties. high
- Series-structure Blindspot The pilot sets a compelling episodic premise but fails to seed a clear investigative/antagonistic throughline. Who will oppose or complicate Eli besides fate? Is there a scientific/religious body, media interest, or rival with similar/contrary abilities? Ms. Harper is a good entry point but remains underleveraged (Sequence 27). high
- Secondary Character Depth Supporting characters (Mark, Ms. Harper, the mother backstory) are sketched functionally but not fully realized. Mark’s death is emotionally effective but we see little of his interior life or his relationship beyond caretaking; Ms. Harper’s motives beyond concern are unclear. medium
- On-the-nose dialogue Occasional lines state themes rather than letting actions demonstrate them — e.g., 'We don’t get to control how long we’re here' (Sequence 13) or the notebook heading 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' (Sequence 29). These explicit beats can be condensed into visual or subtextual moments. medium
- Rule deus ex machina The final device (dates vanishing across the city after Eli’s acceptance) approximates a deus ex machina because it lacks foreshadowing and feels to resolve the central mystery too quickly, reducing serialized momentum (Sequence 40). high
- Repetitive staging Multiple domestic scenes cover similar emotional territory (kitchen/garage/driveway) and could be tightened to avoid pacing drag and redundancy (Sequences 10–13, 18). low
Grok
Executive Summary
- Eli's character arc is masterfully developed, evolving from passive observer to active manipulator and finally to selfless acceptance, providing a complete emotional journey that anchors the narrative. high ( Scene 1-40 )
- The visual motif of floating death dates is introduced subtly and consistently, creating an innovative, cinematic hook that enhances the supernatural element without overwhelming the story. high ( Scene 1 )
- Thematic exploration of mortality, control, and acceptance is profound and consistent, culminating in a philosophical resolution that elevates the script beyond typical genre fare. high ( Scene 37 )
- The climax and resolution deliver emotional payoff with Eli's sacrifice, tying back to earlier losses and providing a satisfying, twist-filled close that hints at broader implications. high ( Scene 39-40 )
- Flashback sequences effectively establish backstory and motivation, grounding Eli's curse in personal grief and making his present-day struggles relatable and urgent. medium ( Scene 6-9 )
- Eli's shift from hesitation to actively causing deaths feels abrupt; more gradual internal conflict or transitional scenes could smooth this moral escalation for better credibility. high ( Scene 29-33 )
- Secondary characters like Ms. Harper are intriguing but underdeveloped; expanding her role slightly could provide more emotional layers and series setup without bloating the pilot. medium ( Scene 27-28 )
- Flashback pacing occasionally disrupts forward momentum; tightening these sequences could maintain tension while still conveying essential history. medium ( Scene 6-9 )
- The buildup to Mark's death is tense but relies heavily on Eli's internal monologue; adding subtle external stakes or interactions could heighten drama. low ( Scene 21-25 )
- Dialogue in quieter family scenes is naturalistic but occasionally expository; refining to show more subtext could deepen emotional authenticity. low
- Deeper exploration of the power's rules and origins beyond Eli's personal experience; hints at a larger mythology could strengthen series potential without resolving everything. medium
- Limited subplot development for supporting characters, such as Ms. Harper's backstory or Eli's peers, leaving opportunities for relational depth untapped in the pilot. medium ( Scene 27-31 )
- No clear antagonist beyond the abstract force of death; introducing a human foil (e.g., someone else with the ability) could add conflict layers for future episodes. low
- The ending's twist—Eli's sacrifice erases all dates—provides a poetic, redemptive close that resolves the pilot while opening doors for ensemble stories in a series. high ( Scene 40 )
- The zero-sum rule of death (saving one shifts it to another) is a clever narrative device that drives moral complexity and distinguishes the premise. high ( Scene 1, 5 )
- The crosswalk accident scene powerfully illustrates the consequences of inaction, heightening the script's ethical stakes and Eli's internal turmoil. medium ( Scene 33-35 )
- Consistent use of sequence numbering and minimalist scene descriptions creates a rhythmic, efficient structure ideal for a fast-read pilot. medium
- Eli's descent into vigilantism adds thriller elements, balancing the drama and showcasing the script's genre versatility. low ( Scene 29-30 )
- Over-reliance on internal monologue The writer focuses heavily on Eli's subjective experience (e.g., in sequences 14, 21, 36), which conveys introspection well but occasionally limits external action or diverse perspectives, potentially making scenes feel introspective to a fault. medium
- Underdeveloped ensemble potential While Eli dominates, characters like Ms. Harper or the saved boy in sequence 39 are introduced with intrigue but not followed up, missing chances to hint at broader interpersonal dynamics for serialization. low
- Minimal; professional formatting The script avoids common pitfalls like overly long scenes or clunky action lines, but minor repetition in date descriptions (e.g., sequences 1-3) could be trimmed for even tighter polish. low
Gemini
Executive Summary
- The core concept of visible death dates is incredibly strong and immediately engaging, providing a unique hook and a constant source of visual and thematic tension. It’s a well-realized high-concept idea. high ( Scene 1 Scene 4 Scene 30 Scene 32 Scene 39 )
- Eli's character arc, from a withdrawn observer to someone actively (and tragically) intervening, driven by grief and a desperate need for control, is powerfully portrayed. His journey of discovery, guilt, and eventual acceptance is the emotional anchor of the pilot. high ( Scene 4 Scene 6 Scene 8 Scene 10 Scene 13 Scene 21 Scene 25 Scene 27 Scene 36 Scene 37 )
- The pilot grapples with profound themes of fate vs. free will, control, grief, acceptance, and the consequences of intervention. These themes are explored with maturity and emotional depth, giving the narrative significant weight. high ( Scene 4 Scene 13 Scene 21 Scene 25 Scene 27 Scene 30 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 39 )
- The pilot effectively builds suspense and emotional impact through the visual manifestation of the dates and Eli's reactions to them, particularly in moments where he intervenes or witnesses a death. The escalation of stakes is well-handled. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 10 Scene 15 Scene 27 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 39 )
- The father-son relationship between Eli and Mark is a crucial emotional through-line. Their interactions, filled with unspoken anxieties and attempts at connection, provide a grounded and heartbreaking counterpoint to the sci-fi element. medium ( Scene 13 Scene 21 Scene 25 Scene 27 Scene 37 )
- The pacing in the middle sequences, particularly from Scene 10 to 15, feels somewhat repetitive in establishing Eli's growing obsession and his father's impending death. While important, these scenes could potentially be tightened to maintain momentum. medium ( Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 15 )
- While the 'dates' are visually present, the script could benefit from more explicit world-building regarding their origin, how they function (e.g., why 'TODAY' exists, why Eli can sometimes shift them), and the rules governing their manipulation. This could add clarity and depth. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 3 Scene 27 )
- Ms. Harper's role feels slightly underdeveloped as a plot device to reveal Eli's past actions. While functional, her character could be given more depth or a clearer arc beyond just being the investigator. low ( Scene 27 )
- Eli's 'choices' to intervene, particularly in Scenes 29 and 30, while demonstrating his belief in the math, could be further explored to show the nuanced emotional cost or justification for these specific interventions. The transition from 'I tried everything' to actively choosing who lives/dies could be smoother. medium ( Scene 29 Scene 30 )
- The death of the little girl with the violin, while impactful, feels somewhat like a narrative shortcut to demonstrate the failure of Eli's 'math.' Her death could be more organically integrated or foreshadowed to feel less like a plot device for Eli's realization. medium ( Scene 33 Scene 34 )
- A clearer explanation or hint at the origin or nature of the 'dates' themselves. While their presence is the catalyst, understanding *why* they exist would enrich the mythology. medium
- A more robust exploration of other characters who might have this 'gift' or be affected by it, which could be explored in future seasons but a hint in the pilot could expand the world. low
- While Eli's own date appearing is significant, the implications of his own mortality are not fully explored in the context of his future actions, leaving some questions about his ultimate path. medium ( Scene 39 )
- The subtle visual presentation of the dates initially, like 'condensation on glass,' is an excellent stylistic choice that allows the audience to discover the concept along with Eli. high ( Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 32 Scene 39 )
- The 'FLASH CUT' in Sequence 4 is a sharp, effective way to quickly convey Eli's past trauma and the stakes of the ability. medium ( Scene 4 Scene 5 )
- Ms. Harper's direct confrontation of Eli's pattern of intervening is a pivotal moment that shifts the narrative from a simple ability to a complex ethical dilemma. high ( Scene 27 )
- Eli's realization in the empty church that his power is about 'witness' and not 'control' is a profound thematic turning point, moving him towards a more mature understanding of his ability. high ( Scene 37 )
- The final image of the city street without dates, signifying a potential shift or consequence of Eli's actions (or sacrifice), provides a hopeful yet poignant conclusion to the pilot, opening avenues for future stories. high ( Scene 40 )
- World-building mechanics The script excels at establishing the emotional and thematic core of the 'death dates' but leaves the mechanics and origin of this phenomenon largely unexplored. While ambiguity can be intentional, a bit more clarity on *how* these dates appear, why Eli can interact with them, and what the 'rules' truly are could strengthen the foundational logic of the world, especially as the series progresses. For example, the shift from 'TODAY' to a future date for the janitor (Seq 5) and the later manipulation of dates (Seq 32, 39) are impactful plot points, but the underlying principles remain mysterious. medium
- Character motivation nuance While Eli's overarching motivation is clear (grief, control, love), some of his specific interventions, particularly those resulting in negative consequences (Seq 29, 30, 33), could benefit from a slightly more nuanced portrayal of his internal reasoning at those precise moments. The script often jumps from 'he sees a date' to 'he intervenes,' and exploring the immediate emotional or logical (however flawed) spark for *that specific* intervention could add depth. low
- Over-reliance on exposition in dialogue While generally good, there are moments where dialogue can feel slightly too explanatory, particularly when characters are discussing the 'dates' or Eli's behavior. For example, in Sequence 27, Ms. Harper's dialogue lists Eli's past interventions. While necessary for exposition, it could be woven more subtly into the conversation or revealed through action/visuals. low
- Repetitive thematic beats The middle section of the script (Sequences 10-15) repeatedly emphasizes Eli's anxiety about his father's date. While critical for building dread, the *way* this is shown could be varied. The constant reminders of the date above Mark's head, while visually striking, start to feel like a loop rather than progressive narrative development in that section. low
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
- The script establishes its supernatural premise with elegant visual storytelling and maintains perfect internal consistency. The rules of Eli's power (dates appear, can shift when he intervenes, saving someone transfers death) are clearly established and never contradicted. high ( Scene 1-5 Scene 6-9 Scene 27-28 )
- Eli's character arc is exceptionally well-developed, moving from passive observer to active intervener to someone who understands his power's true purpose. His emotional journey with his father's impending death provides powerful emotional grounding. high ( Scene 10-13 Scene 21-26 Scene 36-40 )
- The script explores profound themes about fate, free will, moral responsibility, and the illusion of control with remarkable depth and consistency throughout. high ( Scene 5 Scene 29-30 Scene 33-35 )
- The visual descriptions are cinematic and evocative, particularly the depiction of the dates as 'condensation on glass' and the powerful final image of dates disappearing across the city. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 5 Scene 26 Scene 40 )
- Ms. Harper serves as an effective foil and potential ally, representing the external world's perspective and creating necessary conflict while also showing belief in Eli's ability. medium ( Scene 27-28 Scene 31 )
- Eli's transition from passive observer to active 'judge' of who deserves to live happens somewhat abruptly. More gradual development of his moral descent would strengthen this crucial character turn. medium ( Scene 29-32 )
- While Ms. Harper is well-established, other supporting characters (like the school kids, neighbors) remain underdeveloped. More distinct secondary characters would enrich the world. low ( Scene 27-28 Scene 31 )
- The script could benefit from more external obstacles or antagonists. While the internal conflict is strong, adding external forces (authorities investigating, others with similar powers) could increase tension. medium ( Scene 29-30 Scene 33-35 )
- The rules of Eli's power evolving (mother's date jumping forward when son is saved) and the final resolution (dates disappearing) could be more clearly explained or foreshadowed. medium ( Scene 32 Scene 38-40 )
- The middle section focusing on Eli trying to prevent his father's death, while emotionally powerful, could be slightly tightened to maintain pacing before the pivotal death scene. low ( Scene 15-20 )
- Clear establishment of what happens after Eli reveals his power to Ms. Harper. The pilot ends with his sacrifice, but we don't see the immediate consequences of his confession to an authority figure. medium ( Scene 27-28 Scene 31 )
- More exploration of the societal or systemic implications of Eli's power. How would governments, religions, or other institutions react to such knowledge? This could provide rich material for future episodes. low ( Scene 29-35 )
- A clearer sense of the series' ongoing structure beyond Eli's personal journey. While his arc is complete in the pilot, the setup for future seasons could be stronger. medium ( Scene 1-40 )
- The brilliant revelation that saving a life doesn't erase death but transfers it to someone else—this fundamentally changes the moral calculus of the premise and elevates the entire concept. high ( Scene 5 )
- The violin girl's death as collateral damage is a masterful twist—it shows Eli that his non-intervention can be as morally culpable as his intervention, creating perfect moral ambiguity. high ( Scene 33-35 )
- The subtle but powerful detail that Eli never sees his own date until the very end—this reinforces his role as witness rather than actor in his own fate until his final choice. medium ( Scene 17 Scene 37 )
- The beautiful resolution where Eli's sacrifice causes all dates to disappear, returning humanity to ignorance—a profound statement about the burden of knowledge and the value of living without knowing the end. high ( Scene 40 )
- The father-son relationship is exceptionally well-written, with authentic dialogue and emotional beats that ground the supernatural premise in real human connection. high ( Scene 10-13 Scene 21-26 )
- World-building implications The writer focuses intensely on Eli's personal journey but doesn't fully explore the broader implications of his power. For example, if dates can shift when Eli intervenes, what happens on a global scale? Could governments or corporations exploit this ability? The script treats the power as entirely personal rather than considering how it might affect society at large. medium
- Supporting character perspectives The script is so tightly focused on Eli's internal experience that we rarely get other characters' perspectives on the strange events. For instance, how do the people whose dates shift experience this change? Do they feel different? The writer assumes the audience will accept the rules without showing their impact on others. low
- Over-reliance on voiceover-style description Some descriptions read more like novel prose than screen directions (e.g., 'This wasn't failure. This was confirmation.' in Sequence 26). While evocative, these moments tell rather than show and might not translate directly to screen. low
- Slightly rushed character transitions Eli's shift from trying to save his father to becoming a vigilante who judges who deserves to live happens quickly (Sequences 29-30). While emotionally logical, the transition could benefit from more intermediate steps to feel fully earned. medium
Claude
Executive Summary
- The script's opening sequences effectively establish the unique premise and introduce the central character, Eli, and his ability to see the dates of people's deaths. The hospital room scene in sequence 6 provides a powerful and emotional backstory that helps to ground the character and his motivations. high ( Scene 1 (EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING) Scene 6 (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT (YEARS AGO)) )
- The scene in the guidance counselor's office is a standout, as it allows for deeper exploration of Eli's character and the ethical dilemmas he faces. The counselor's willingness to believe Eli's claims and her subsequent reaction add depth and complexity to the narrative. high ( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GUIDANCE OFFICE - AFTERNOON) )
- The scenes that focus on Eli's relationship with his father, Mark, are well-written and help to establish the emotional core of the story. The dialogue and interactions between the two characters feel authentic and contribute to the overall character development. medium ( Scene 10 (INT. SMALL KITCHEN - EARLY MORNING) Scene 20 (EXT. PARK - SUNSET) )
- The pacing of the script could be improved in certain sections, particularly in the sequences where Eli attempts to intervene and save his father. These scenes feel a bit rushed and could benefit from additional development to heighten the emotional impact and tension. medium ( Scene 15 (EXT. INTERSECTION - AFTERNOON) Scene 16 (INT. CHURCH - NIGHT) )
- The resolution of the story's central conflict, where Eli must grapple with the consequences of his actions, could be strengthened. The scenes involving the death of the young girl feel a bit abrupt and could benefit from more nuanced exploration of Eli's emotional journey and the ethical implications of his choices. high ( Scene 33 (EXT. CITY CROSSWALK - LATE AFTERNOON) Scene 34 (EXT. CROSSWALK - MOMENTS LATER) )
- While the script's ending provides a sense of resolution and growth for the protagonist, it could benefit from additional exploration of the broader implications of Eli's ability and how it affects the world around him. The final sequences feel a bit abrupt and could be expanded to provide a more satisfying and impactful conclusion. medium ( Scene 38 (EXT. HOSPITAL ROOFTOP - DAWN) Scene 39 (INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS) )
- The scene in the guidance counselor's office is a standout, as it allows for deeper exploration of Eli's character and the ethical dilemmas he faces. The counselor's willingness to believe Eli's claims and her subsequent reaction add depth and complexity to the narrative. high ( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL - GUIDANCE OFFICE - AFTERNOON) )
- The script's ending, where Eli comes to a deeper understanding of his ability and its implications, is a powerful and thought-provoking resolution. The disappearance of the dates above people's heads is a visually striking and symbolic moment that reinforces the script's thematic exploration of fate, control, and the human experience. high ( Scene 38 (EXT. HOSPITAL ROOFTOP - DAWN) Scene 39 (INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS) Scene 40 (EXT. HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE - MORNING) )
- Lack of diverse perspectives The script primarily focuses on the experiences of a white, male protagonist, with limited representation of other racial, gender, or socioeconomic backgrounds. Expanding the diversity of the supporting characters and their narratives could help to provide a more well-rounded and inclusive perspective. medium
- Uneven pacing While the script generally maintains a strong pace, there are a few sequences where the pacing feels either rushed or drawn out, such as the scenes involving Eli's attempts to save his father. Refining the pacing in these areas could help to create a more consistent and engaging narrative flow. medium
Summary
High-level overview
End Date: TV Pilot Summary
Logline: A 16-year-old boy, Eli, grapples with the burden of his supernatural ability to see death dates hovering above people's heads, as he navigates the challenging terrain of adolescence, family dynamics, and the moral weight of his foresight.
Summary: On a seemingly ordinary suburban morning, Eli witnesses the unsettling reality of life marked by the translucent dates above people's heads, which indicate their imminent deaths. This marked divide between everyday life and the impending doom takes a toll on Eli, who experiences overwhelming anxiety, especially as he becomes acutely aware of the 'TODAY' date above a girl from his school.
Despite his efforts to reach out for help and understand his unique ability that allows him to see these death dates, Eli feels increasingly isolated. His internal battle intensifies amidst the mundane chaos of high school life, particularly when he witnesses the distress of individuals he cannot save, like the girl from the bus stop. As he navigates these tense situations, Eli grapples with the ethical implications of his power, learning that saving one life may inadvertently doom another.
The pilot delves into Eli’s fraught relationship with his father, Mark, as he desperately tries to prevent his dad from meeting his fated date of April 17, 2026. Tension mounts as Eli battles with feelings of helplessness, leading to confrontational moments where he struggles to share his fears with a father who remains blissfully unaware of the danger that looms over him.
As the narrative unfolds, Eli tries to manipulate fate in an attempt to save lives, often resulting in tragic consequences that weigh heavily on his conscience. His desperate journey leads to moments of profound reflection, where he ultimately begins to understand the importance of acceptance, love, and the inevitability of life’s end.
Amidst emotional turmoil, the pilot culminates in a poignant climax, where Eli’s ability shifts from a burden to a source of empowerment. As he comes to terms with what it means to witness life and death, he experiences an emotional release, breaking free from guilt and fear. By the end, as he embraces a newfound understanding of mortality, the haunting burden of dates above people's heads fades, hinting at a world where life can be lived without the shadow of death looming overhead.
In End Date, Eli’s journey is one of growth, acceptance, and the complex nature of human connections, making it a poignant exploration of life’s fragility contrasted with the preciousness of each moment.
End Date
Synopsis
In a seemingly ordinary suburban neighborhood, 16-year-old Eli possesses a unique and haunting ability: he can see the dates of people's deaths floating above their heads. This unsettling gift isolates him, as he navigates the complexities of teenage life while grappling with the weight of knowing when those around him will die. The story begins on April 17, 2026, with Eli observing the dates of his neighbors and classmates, each one a reminder of the fragility of life. As he jogs through his daily routine, he becomes increasingly aware of the impending doom that looms over those he cares about, particularly a girl from school who is blissfully unaware that her date is 'today.'
Eli's life takes a dramatic turn when he witnesses a classmate collapse in the classroom, her date hovering above her head, confirming his worst fears. Despite his instinct to intervene, he remains frozen, paralyzed by the knowledge that saving one life could mean the loss of another. This moment marks the beginning of Eli's internal struggle as he grapples with the moral implications of his ability. He recalls a traumatic memory from his childhood when he lost his mother, a moment that solidified his understanding of death and the dates that accompany it.
As the narrative unfolds, Eli's relationship with his father, Mark, becomes central to the story. Mark, a loving but oblivious parent, is unaware of the burden his son carries. Eli's desperation to save his father from the date that looms above him intensifies, leading to a series of tense interactions where Eli tries to warn Mark without revealing the truth. Their conversations are filled with unspoken fears and the weight of impending loss, creating a poignant backdrop for Eli's journey.
The tension escalates when Eli's attempts to intervene in the lives of others lead to unintended consequences. He saves a young boy in the hospital, only to realize that his actions have shifted the dates of those around him, creating a ripple effect that complicates his understanding of fate. This revelation forces Eli to confront the reality that he cannot control life or death, and that his interventions may not yield the outcomes he desires.
In a climactic moment, Eli faces a moral crossroads when he witnesses a man about to harm a woman. He chooses not to intervene, believing that the man’s date is close enough to warrant his inaction. However, when the situation escalates and an innocent girl is caught in the crossfire, Eli is left shattered by the consequences of his choice. This pivotal event serves as a turning point for Eli, leading him to question the ethics of his power and the true meaning of life and death.
As the story reaches its conclusion, Eli learns to embrace his ability not as a curse but as a gift that allows him to witness life in all its complexity. He realizes that the dates do not define the value of a person’s life; rather, it is the love and connections we forge that truly matter. In a moment of clarity, Eli decides to let go of his need to control outcomes and instead focuses on living in the present. The final scenes depict a world where the dates above people's heads fade away, symbolizing a newfound freedom from the constraints of fate. Eli's journey culminates in a powerful message about acceptance, love, and the beauty of life, regardless of its duration.
Scene by Scene Summaries
Scene by Scene Summaries
- On a serene suburban morning, a woman jogs past neighbors, each marked by translucent dates floating above their heads, hinting at their futures. At a bus stop, teenagers await their ride, with one girl laughing, blissfully unaware of the 'TODAY' date above her. Meanwhile, 16-year-old Eli observes from a distance, his tension rising as he notices the girl's date, suggesting an internal conflict that remains unresolved. The scene captures the contrast between ordinary life and an underlying sense of mystery.
- In a moving school bus, Eli sits alone, burdened by his ability to see dates above people's heads. When a friendly kid attempts to engage him, Eli's discomfort leads him to ignore the conversation and keep his eyes down. The kid, seeing Eli's gloomy demeanor, gives up and turns away, while Eli closes his eyes to escape the overwhelming visions, highlighting his isolation and internal struggle.
- In a chaotic high school hallway on December 14, 2026, Eli navigates through the noise and distractions with anxiety, moving cautiously as if avoiding landmines. A teacher greets him, but Eli's minimal response and hurried pace reveal his discomfort and urgency, hinting at an impending event that weighs heavily on him. The scene captures the tension and unease of Eli's internal conflict as he walks away faster after the brief interaction.
- In a tense classroom scene, Eli observes a girl from the bus stop who is visibly distressed, with the word 'TODAY' floating above her head. As she collapses, chaos ensues among the students and teacher. Later, in the school nurse's office, the girl lies pale and barely breathing, while Eli, shaken but determined, defies the nurse's order to wait outside and steps forward to help.
- In a school parking lot, Eli stands alone, grappling with the consequences of his actions after witnessing an ambulance speed away. A janitor nearby coughs, and a date graphic shifts from 'May 4, 2038' to 'April 17, 2026,' indicating a disturbing change in time. Eli realizes that by saving one life, he has merely displaced death to another, leading to a moment of pure terror as he confronts the moral weight of his deeds. The scene ends with a cut to black, emphasizing the theme of time and its alterations.
- In a dimly lit hospital room, 9-year-old Eli anxiously waits by his unconscious mother, who is sustained by machines. As he swings his legs in boredom, he notices eerie, floating dates above the heads of hospital staff and visitors, revealing their death dates. This unsettling discovery fills him with shock and confusion, culminating in a moment of heightened anxiety as he processes the implications of what he sees, all while remaining silent and alone in the tense atmosphere.
- In a tense hospital room, Eli discovers his mother's cold hand, suggesting she may be deceased. As he grapples with fear and confusion, he notices the date flickering, adding to the eerie atmosphere. His calls for her go unanswered, leaving him in a state of terror and uncertainty as he whispers, 'What is that?'
- In a hospital room on August 12, 2042, Eli experiences the devastating moment of his mother's death as the monitor flatlines, signaling her passing. The date above her head fades away, symbolizing loss and leaving Eli in shock. He gasps and whispers 'Mom?' while the doctor offers condolences, but Eli remains emotionally paralyzed, fixated on the empty space where his mother once was. The scene captures the profound grief and finality of loss.
- In this poignant scene, Eli and his father walk through a hospital, where Eli is struck by a newfound supernatural ability to see death dates above people's heads. When he sees the date 'April 17, 2026' hovering over his father's head, he is overwhelmed with fear and momentarily freezes, struggling to communicate his distress. Despite his father's concern, Eli ultimately withdraws, unable to share his burden. The scene shifts to the hospital's exterior at night, where Eli realizes the permanence of his ability as he sees no date above the stars, leaving him shaken and accepting the reality of his vision.
- In a small kitchen on the morning of April 17, 2026, Eli, a 16-year-old boy, sits anxiously at the table while his father, Mark, prepares breakfast. The date hovers above Mark, symbolizing Eli's fixation on an impending event. As Mark encourages Eli about his history test and expresses hopes for his future, Eli grapples with deeper concerns about their lives. Despite Mark's attempts to connect, Eli deflects and lies about his feelings, leaving an emotional tension unresolved as the scene ends.
- In a garage on April 17, 2026, Mark works on an old car while Eli watches silently. Eli expresses concern for Mark's health, suggesting he get a medical checkup, but Mark brushes it off with humor. The conversation reveals underlying tension, as Eli's serious demeanor contrasts with Mark's light-heartedness. Mark notices Eli's unease and asks if he is okay, to which Eli gives a quick, unconvincing nod, leaving their emotional conflicts unresolved.
- In this tense afternoon scene, Mark loads tools into his car when Eli approaches with cryptic warnings about driving fast and at night. Confused, Mark tries to understand Eli's concerns, but Eli hesitates to share his thoughts, ultimately retreating into silence. Despite Mark's reassurances that he can confide in him, an unspoken lie lingers between them, creating an uneasy atmosphere as the scene cuts to the next part.
- In a dimly lit living room, Eli and Mark engage in a poignant conversation about death and the nature of time. While a sitcom plays in the background, Eli grapples with the impending date of Mark's death, feeling a sense of urgency and fear. Mark reflects on his own fears after losing his wife, emphasizing that while we cannot control our lifespan, we can choose how to spend our time. Eli's inquiry about controlling life leads to a profound realization for both, as Mark suggests that such control would strip life of its meaning. The scene captures the tension between familial intimacy and Eli's deepening emotional distress, culminating in a moment that profoundly affects him.
- In this tense and introspective scene, Eli lies awake in his cluttered bedroom, troubled by the date 'April 17, 2026'. Surrounded by calendars and notebooks filled with cryptic notes, he grapples with anxiety and obsession over an impending event. As he sits up and reflects on the date, which is faintly visible in a mirror, Eli questions its reality, leaving him in a state of uncertainty and heightened tension.
- In this tense scene, Mark exits a doctor's office, cheerfully announcing his clean bill of health, while Eli's anxiety escalates as he notices the supernatural date 'APRIL 17, 2026' hovering above Mark's head. The setting shifts to a grocery store where Eli's protective instincts kick in as he intervenes when Mark reaches for a box on a high shelf. A nearby shopper's violent cough reveals the same ominous date above their head, intensifying Eli's paranoia and fear. The scene highlights the contrast between Mark's obliviousness and Eli's growing distress, culminating in Eli backing away in fear as he realizes the shared fate with another person.
- In this tense scene, Mark nearly gets hit by a car after stepping off the curb, prompting Eli to urgently shout 'WAIT!' to save him. As Mark recovers from the shock, Eli's attention is drawn to a date display that flickers from April 17, 2026, to April 19, 2026, filling him with a momentary sense of hope. However, the display quickly reverts to April 17, 2026, leaving Eli visibly disappointed. The scene captures the urgency of the near-miss and the emotional turmoil of dashed hopes.
- In a dimly lit church on November 3, 2044, Eli kneels in solitude, whispering a desperate plea to a higher power to take years off his life, feeling burdened by their weight. The atmosphere is somber, with flickering candles and empty pews emphasizing his isolation. A detached priest lights candles in the background, unaware of Eli's turmoil. As Eli's plea is met with silence, reflective text appears, underscoring a theme of hopelessness. The scene concludes abruptly, leaving Eli's internal conflict unresolved.
- In a dimly lit garage, Mark works late into the night, accompanied by soft music. Eli observes him from the doorway, expressing concern over Mark's relentless work ethic. Their conversation reveals a deeper emotional strain, as Eli suggests Mark should quit, prompting Mark to deflect with humor. However, the mood shifts when Mark accuses Eli of acting as if he is already gone, leaving an unresolved tension hanging in the air as the scene concludes.
- In a tense hospital scene, Eli urgently questions a nurse about sudden death in healthy individuals, revealing his desperation. The nurse responds evasively, questioning Eli's motives, which leads him to realize his approach was inappropriate. The interaction ends abruptly as Eli backs away, heightening the tension surrounding his personal stakes.
- In a serene park at sunset on April 17, 2026, Mark and Eli share a quiet moment on a bench. Mark reminisces about Eli's childhood attachment, expressing his belief that Eli would outgrow it. Eli's simple response, 'I didn’t,' reveals the enduring nature of their bond, highlighting an emotional tension between expectation and reality. The scene concludes with this poignant exchange, emphasizing their intimate yet unresolved relationship.
- In a tense scene set on the night of April 16, 2026, Eli struggles with anxiety, pacing in his room and taking precautions to prevent an impending event. The following morning, he confronts Mark in the kitchen, pleading with him not to leave the house due to a 'bad feeling.' Despite Eli's distress, Mark dismisses his concerns and exits, leaving Eli feeling helpless and realizing that his attempts to control the situation are futile. The scene ends with a close-up of Eli's face, highlighting his despair as he grapples with the illusion of control.
- In a tense morning scene at Eli's house, Eli stands frozen in the doorway while Mark prepares to leave for work. Mark questions Eli's refusal to attend school, but Eli's firm 'no' leads to a moment of reluctant acceptance from Mark, who concedes for one day. The atmosphere is heavy with unspoken emotions, underscored by the symbolic significance of the day. As Mark rises, the date metaphorically rises with him, emphasizing the weight of time and the unresolved tension between their conflicting priorities.
- In an interior hallway, Mark prepares to leave when his son Eli calls out to him. Overwhelmed with emotion, Eli hesitates before declaring his love, to which Mark responds warmly, affirming their bond. The date stabilizes to 'TODAY,' symbolizing a moment of clarity and connection. The scene concludes with Mark opening the front door, indicating a transition to the next part of their story.
- On a cool morning, Mark steps outside, and Eli hesitantly calls out to him, urging him to 'Be careful.' Despite Eli's internal struggle to convey a deeper warning about potential danger, Mark dismissively reassures him with a chuckle, highlighting the contrast between Eli's concern and Mark's lighthearted confidence. The scene captures a moment of tension beneath a facade of normalcy as Mark turns away, leaving Eli at the threshold.
- In this poignant scene, Mark greets a neighbor on a quiet morning before experiencing a fatal heart attack in his car. As he slumps forward, his son Eli witnesses the tragedy unfold, rushing to his father's side in panic. The word 'TODAY' fades above Mark's head, symbolizing the abrupt end of his life. Neighbors gather, and despite the paramedics' efforts, Mark is confirmed dead, leaving Eli in a state of shock and grief as he watches the finality of his father's death.
- In a somber scene, Eli, a young boy, stands alone on a street after an ambulance departs, symbolizing the aftermath of a tragic event. As neighbors resume their routines, Eli observes people passing by, each with dates floating above their heads, representing their life paths. Despite the chaos around him, Eli remains calm and introspective, reflecting on the inevitability of the situation he had anticipated. The scene captures his internal conflict of acceptance and resignation, culminating in a cut to black that signifies the finality of his realization.
- In the high school guidance office, Eli meets with Ms. Harper, who confronts him about his recent absences following his father's death. As she probes into Eli's past incidents of seemingly foreseeing deaths, he becomes defensive but eventually confides that he can see the date of death above people's heads. This revelation leads to an emotional exchange where Eli expresses his guilt and the burden of his ability. Ms. Harper, recognizing the weight of Eli's secret, asks him to demonstrate his ability, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of his gift and its consequences.
- In a bustling school hallway, Ms. Harper challenges Eli to demonstrate his claimed ability to see death dates. Eli points out a random student, revealing their death date, and then hesitantly shares his own. Ms. Harper warns him of the dangers of his ability and the consequences of lying, expressing concern for his well-being. The scene ends with a close-up of Eli, who realizes for the first time that someone believes him and is afraid, leading to a cut to black.
- In a tense night scene, Eli meticulously records names and dates in his notebook, culminating in the phrase 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE.' He then ventures into the city, where he sees dates floating above people's heads. When he witnesses a man violently confronting his girlfriend, Eli intervenes, leading to a fatal confrontation. As the man is struck by a car, Eli realizes that his actions have confirmed the predicted death date, leaving him in a somber state of reflection.
- In a diner on May 14, 2026, Eli observes a kind waitress and a drunk customer marked for imminent danger. Urgently, he warns the waitress to take her break, but she hesitates. As the drunk customer slips and fatally injures himself, the waitress's date changes to December 3, 2069, prompting a surge of dangerous validation in Eli. The scene ends with this ominous shift.
- In Ms. Harper's office, a tense confrontation unfolds between her and Eli. Ms. Harper accuses Eli of causing harm to others, while Eli asserts that he is aware of the inevitable deaths and believes he must make the difficult choices about who lives and dies. The scene is marked by a visual element showing the date 'November 8, 2043', adding a supernatural layer to their discussion. Despite Ms. Harper's moral challenges, Eli remains resolute, leading to an unresolved tension as the scene cuts to the next.
- In this intense scene set outside and inside a hospital at night, Eli witnesses ambulances arriving with death dates above people's heads. He focuses on a young boy marked 'TODAY' and intervenes in a chaotic hospital room, successfully directing doctors to save the boy's life. However, Eli's confidence is shaken when he sees the boy's mother's death date change from 2039 to 2028, leading him to freeze in hesitation and question the reliability of his predictive system.
- In a busy city crosswalk during rush hour, Eli observes people with floating death dates above their heads. He focuses on a man with a death date just two days away, who is distractedly shouting into his phone. As the light changes, the man steps into traffic and is struck by a bus, causing chaos and injuring a nearby little girl. Eli, having chosen not to intervene, reflects his acceptance of the man's fate, leading to a dark and tense scene filled with the inevitability of death.
- In a chaotic scene following a traumatic accident, Eli navigates through a panicked crowd to assess the situation. He discovers a motionless man and a severely injured girl with a cracked violin case, whose fate he desperately wishes to change. As he sees the word 'TODAY' flickering above her head, he whispers in denial, realizing he cannot alter her fixed fate. Despite his pleas to help, paramedics forcibly pull him away, leaving him to confront the grim acceptance of his powerlessness amidst the tragedy.
- In this somber scene, Eli stands alone at a crosswalk, confronted by the tragic sight of a deceased girl covered with a white sheet and her violin case beside her. As symbolic dates float above the crowd, Eli grapples with profound guilt, realizing that her death was a result of his inaction, which he perceives as 'murder by omission.' This moment deepens his internal conflict and regret, emphasizing the weight of irreversible consequences as he reflects on the loss of an innocent life.
- In a poignant scene set in Eli's bedroom at night, Eli grapples with profound guilt over a past decision that resulted in an innocent's death. Sitting on the floor with an open notebook, he intensely stares at the phrase 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' before forcefully crossing it out, symbolizing his rejection of moral superiority. In a moment of vulnerability, he admits, 'I’m not better than them,' and breaks down in tears for the first time since his father's death, marking a significant emotional release. The scene captures Eli's internal struggle and heartbreak, concluding with his tears and a cut to the next scene.
- In an empty church at night, Eli sits in silence, reflecting on his supernatural ability and the deaths of loved ones. He realizes that his power is not about control but about witnessing and loving without expectation. This introspection leads to a sense of peace and acceptance, as he understands the importance of letting go. The scene concludes with Eli standing calmly, embodying his newfound resolution.
- On a hospital rooftop at dawn, Eli observes the arrival of ambulances, fixating on a woman in her late 30s being rushed inside with the date 'TODAY' above her, indicating her imminent death. A young boy, crying and running beside her, has 'OCTOBER 18, 2091' floating above him, suggesting a long life ahead. Eli, in a moment of quiet determination, acknowledges the personal cost of saving the woman, closing his eyes in contemplation before opening them again.
- In a frantic hospital emergency room, Eli bursts in to save a woman suffering from internal hemorrhaging. Despite initial skepticism from the doctors, he urgently instructs them to clamp the splenic artery, leading to a successful stabilization of the patient. As the chaos subsides, Eli experiences a supernatural moment where dates appear above the characters' heads, indicating a temporal consequence. He acknowledges the date 'TODAY' above his own head with a nod, suggesting acceptance of his fate.
- In the final scene, Eli stands on a hospital parking structure at sunrise, observing life below as the burden of knowing death dates fades away. He whispers 'Okay,' leading to the disappearance of all dates, symbolizing liberation from the fear of mortality. Ms. Harper experiences confusion and freedom as her date vanishes during a conversation. Eli, in a moment of acceptance, lies back and closes his eyes, indicating his peaceful death. The scene shifts weeks later to a city street where a boy with a violin plays music, illustrating a world free from the weight of knowing one's end date, concluding the story with a sense of normalcy and hope.
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Analysis: The screenplay effectively develops its characters, particularly Eli, whose journey from isolation to acceptance is compelling. However, there are opportunities to enhance the depth of supporting characters like Mark and Ms. Harper to create a more interconnected narrative.
Key Strengths
- Eli's character arc is compelling, showcasing his transformation from a withdrawn boy to someone who accepts his role as a witness to fate. His internal struggles are relatable and emotionally engaging.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively establishes a compelling premise centered around Eli's unique ability to see death dates, which serves as a powerful metaphor for control and acceptance of mortality. However, enhancing the clarity of Eli's motivations and the consequences of his actions could deepen audience engagement.
Key Strengths
- The unique premise of seeing death dates creates a compelling narrative that explores deep themes of mortality and control.
Analysis: The screenplay presents a compelling narrative structure that effectively explores themes of mortality, control, and acceptance through the character of Eli. The use of supernatural elements to convey emotional depth is particularly strong, and the character arcs are well-developed. However, there are areas where pacing could be improved, particularly in the middle sections, to maintain engagement and tension throughout the story.
Key Strengths
- The integration of supernatural elements with emotional storytelling effectively enhances the narrative's depth.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively conveys its themes of mortality, control, and the moral implications of choice through Eli's journey. The exploration of these themes is both poignant and thought-provoking, resonating deeply with the audience. However, there are opportunities to enhance clarity and emotional impact, particularly in the integration of character arcs with thematic elements.
Key Strengths
- The exploration of Eli's internal struggle with his powers and the moral implications of his choices adds significant emotional depth to the narrative.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively utilizes visual imagery to convey the emotional weight of its themes, particularly the burden of knowledge regarding mortality. The floating dates above characters' heads serve as a powerful visual motif that enhances the narrative's exploration of fate and choice. The vivid descriptions create a compelling atmosphere, drawing the audience into Eli's internal struggles and the consequences of his actions.
Key Strengths
- The concept of floating dates above characters' heads is a standout visual element that effectively conveys the theme of mortality and the burden of knowledge. This innovative approach adds depth to the narrative and enhances emotional engagement, particularly in scenes depicting Eli's internal struggles.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively elicits emotional responses through its exploration of grief, loss, and the moral complexities of Eli's supernatural ability. The character arcs, particularly Eli's journey from fear to acceptance, resonate deeply. However, there are opportunities to enhance emotional depth by further developing supporting characters and their relationships with Eli, as well as refining pacing to build tension more effectively.
Key Strengths
- Eli's emotional journey from fear and guilt to acceptance is compelling and resonates deeply with the audience, particularly in scenes where he confronts the consequences of his powers.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively presents a compelling central conflict through Eli's struggle with his supernatural ability to see death dates, which creates significant emotional stakes tied to his relationships, particularly with his father. However, there are opportunities to enhance narrative tension by further exploring the consequences of Eli's actions and deepening the emotional impact of his decisions. The stakes could be elevated by introducing more immediate threats or moral dilemmas that challenge Eli's understanding of his powers.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay effectively captures the emotional weight of Eli's powers and the consequences of his actions, particularly in scenes where he witnesses death and grapples with guilt.
Analysis: The screenplay presents a compelling and original narrative centered around Eli, a teenager with the ability to see death dates above people's heads. This unique premise explores profound themes of mortality, control, and the moral implications of one's actions. The character arcs, particularly Eli's journey from fear to acceptance, are well-crafted and resonate emotionally, making the story both engaging and thought-provoking.
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View Complete AnalysisTop Takeaway from This Section
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Top Takeaways from This Section
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Character Eli
Description Eli's behavior oscillates between being deeply introspective and emotionally detached. In some scenes, he expresses profound concern for his father's well-being, while in others, he appears almost apathetic, which creates a disjointed character arc.
( Scene 10 (INT. SMALL KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING) Scene 12 (EXT. DRIVEWAY – AFTERNOON) Scene 13 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT) ) -
Character Mark
Description Mark's character is portrayed as caring and attentive, yet he seems oblivious to Eli's distress and the significance of the dates. This inconsistency undermines his role as a protective father.
( Scene 10 (INT. SMALL KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING) Scene 15 (EXT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY) )
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Description The concept of Eli being able to save one life at the cost of another is introduced but not fully explored. The mechanics of how this works are unclear, leading to confusion about the rules governing Eli's abilities.
( Scene 5 (EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – LATER) Scene 26 (EXT. STREET – LATER) ) -
Description Eli's inquiry about sudden death in healthy individuals feels out of place given his prior experiences. It seems unlikely he would need to ask this question, as he has already witnessed several deaths.
( Scene 19 (INT. HOSPITAL – DAY) )
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Description Eli's decision to let the man be hit by the bus is inconsistent with his established character of wanting to save lives. This sudden shift in his moral compass feels unearned and creates a significant plot hole.
( Scene 34 (EXT. CROSSWALK – MOMENTS LATER) ) -
Description The sudden shift in the date above the woman's head after Eli saves her raises questions about the rules governing his abilities. If he can change outcomes, why does he not do so more consistently?
( Scene 39 (INT. ER – CONTINUOUS) )
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Description Mark's dialogue about not controlling how long we are here feels overly philosophical and somewhat disconnected from the context of their conversation. It doesn't align with the more casual tone established earlier.
( Scene 13 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT) ) -
Description Ms. Harper's dialogue about Eli's pattern of warnings feels too clinical and lacks the emotional depth that would be expected in a conversation about a student's grief and trauma.
( Scene 27 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL – GUIDANCE OFFICE – AFTERNOON) )
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Element Eli's internal conflict about saving lives
( Scene 21 (INT. ELI’S ROOM – NIGHT (APRIL 16, 2026)) Scene 29 (INT. ELI’S BEDROOM – NIGHT) )
Suggestion These scenes could be streamlined to avoid repetitive exploration of Eli's internal conflict. A single, more impactful scene could convey his struggle without redundancy.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Eli | Eli's character arc in the pilot begins with him as a withdrawn and anxious teenager, burdened by the knowledge of death dates and grappling with feelings of helplessness and guilt. Throughout the narrative, he faces moral dilemmas regarding the use of his powers, leading to internal conflict and a sense of isolation. As the story progresses, Eli experiences a transformation from fear and turmoil to acceptance and understanding of his role as a witness to fate rather than a controller of it. By the end of the pilot, he finds a sense of peace and resolution, symbolizing his growth and the beginning of a journey towards self-discovery and moral clarity. | Eli's character arc is compelling and rich with emotional depth, effectively showcasing his internal struggles and moral dilemmas. However, the arc could benefit from clearer external conflicts that challenge him and force him to confront his fears more directly. While his internal journey is well-developed, the pilot may risk losing audience engagement if it focuses too heavily on introspection without sufficient external stakes or interactions that drive the narrative forward. | To improve Eli's character arc, consider introducing more dynamic external conflicts that challenge his abilities and force him to make difficult choices. This could involve situations where he must decide whether to intervene in a life-threatening event or allow fate to take its course, thereby heightening the stakes. Additionally, incorporating more interactions with other characters that reveal different facets of his personality and allow for growth through relationships could enhance his journey. Finally, providing moments of triumph or failure that visibly impact Eli's emotional state would create a more engaging and relatable character arc. |
| Mark | Throughout the pilot, Mark's character arc evolves from a supportive yet somewhat oblivious father to a more aware and engaged parent. Initially, he is portrayed as a stabilizing force, trying to maintain normalcy in the face of Eli's supernatural challenges. As the story progresses, Mark faces a sudden and tragic event that forces him to confront his own emotions and the reality of Eli's struggles. This pivotal moment leads him to become more attuned to Eli's needs, ultimately fostering a deeper connection between them. By the end of the pilot, Mark emerges as a more resilient and understanding father, willing to confront the complexities of their relationship and support Eli in navigating his unique experiences. | Mark's character arc is compelling, as it showcases his growth from a supportive figure to a more engaged and understanding parent. However, the initial portrayal of Mark as somewhat oblivious to Eli's struggles may come off as one-dimensional. While his light-hearted demeanor provides contrast to Eli's seriousness, it risks undermining the depth of his character. Additionally, the sudden tragic event could benefit from more foreshadowing to enhance its emotional impact and Mark's subsequent transformation. | To improve Mark's character arc, consider incorporating more moments that reveal his internal struggles and vulnerabilities earlier in the pilot. This could involve flashbacks or conversations that hint at his past traumas, particularly regarding Eli's mother, which would add layers to his character. Additionally, providing Mark with a specific goal or challenge related to his relationship with Eli could create a more dynamic arc. For instance, he could be working on a project that symbolizes his desire to connect with Eli, which ultimately gets disrupted by the tragic event, forcing him to reevaluate his priorities and approach to parenting. This would create a more cohesive narrative and deepen the emotional stakes for both characters. |
| Ms. Harper | Ms. Harper begins as a skeptical yet concerned counselor, confronting Eli about his absences and the implications of his abilities. As she challenges him to confront uncomfortable truths, she also grapples with her own fears and disbelief regarding his powers. Throughout the pilot, she evolves from a figure of authority who is cautious and probing to one who finds liberation from her own burdens, ultimately embracing a more supportive role. By the end of the pilot, she not only helps Eli confront his abilities but also undergoes her own journey of acceptance, symbolizing a resolution to her character arc. | While Ms. Harper's character is well-developed and serves as a strong foil to Eli, her arc could benefit from more personal stakes. Currently, her journey is closely tied to Eli's, which can overshadow her individual growth. Additionally, her initial skepticism could be explored further to provide a deeper understanding of her fears and motivations. This would enhance her character complexity and make her eventual liberation more impactful. | To improve Ms. Harper's character arc, consider introducing a subplot that reveals her own struggles with foreknowledge or a personal loss that connects to her skepticism about Eli's abilities. This could create a more profound emotional resonance and allow her character to stand on her own, rather than solely as a support for Eli. Additionally, incorporating moments where she reflects on her own past decisions or ethical dilemmas could enrich her character development and provide a more satisfying resolution to her arc. |
Top Takeaways from This Section
Theme Analysis Overview
Identified Themes
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation | Primary Theme Support | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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The Burden of Foresight and the Illusion of Control
95%
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Eli's supernatural ability to see death dates above people's heads, his desperate attempts to alter these fates (saving the girl, intervening with the janitor, trying to save his father), and the subsequent realization that his actions have consequences or are ultimately futile.
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This is the central driving force of the narrative. Eli's gift is initially a curse, imposing immense psychological pressure and a false sense of agency. The script meticulously explores how this knowledge leads to anxiety, guilt, and ultimately, a deep understanding of the limitations of his power. |
This theme IS the primary theme.
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Strengthening The Burden of Foresight and the Illusion of Control
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Grief and Loss
85%
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Eli's initial trauma witnessing his mother's death and the subsequent loss of his father. These losses shape his motivations and fuel his desperate attempts to prevent further death.
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The death of loved ones is a significant catalyst for Eli's actions. His grief over his mother's death likely initiated his obsession with time and death. His father's death solidifies his determination and later his profound guilt and eventual acceptance. |
Eli's grief directly fuels his desire to control fate, believing that if he had known or acted differently, he could have saved them. This supports the theme of the illusion of control by highlighting the emotional drivers behind his desperate actions.
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Responsibility and Sacrifice
80%
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Eli's internal struggle with the moral implications of his ability, the 'price' paid when he intervenes (saving one life by displacing death), and his eventual realization that true responsibility involves accepting outcomes and sacrificing his own peace for the greater good.
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The narrative questions whether Eli has a responsibility to act and the ethical costs of doing so. His struggle to save others, only to see the dates shift or cause unintended consequences, forces him to confront the true nature of his responsibility. |
This theme directly feeds into the primary theme by showcasing the ethical and existential dilemmas posed by foresight. Eli's attempt to fulfill a perceived responsibility highlights the conflict between his desire to control and the unavoidable reality of consequences.
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Acceptance and Letting Go
75%
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Eli's journey from intense anxiety and bargaining to a state of calm acceptance and peace, understanding that his power is for witnessing rather than controlling, and that true peace comes from letting go of outcomes.
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This theme represents Eli's ultimate growth. After countless interventions and immense suffering, he finds peace not in changing fate, but in accepting its inevitability and the wisdom of living in the present moment. |
This is the resolution to the primary theme. Eli's acceptance signifies his ultimate understanding of the illusion of control and the true nature of his gift, leading to the liberation from the burden of foresight.
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Love and Connection
60%
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The enduring love between Eli and his father, Eli's early attachment to his mother, and the eventual understanding that love means cherishing the present without bargaining for more time.
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Despite the supernatural elements, the script grounds itself in human relationships. The love Eli shares, particularly with his father, serves as a counterpoint to the bleakness of his foresight and ultimately informs his final understanding of life's value. |
Eli's love for his father is a key motivator for his actions, initially driving his desire to control. His eventual acceptance of his father's death, born from love, demonstrates his understanding that genuine connection doesn't require an endless future, thus supporting the primary theme of letting go of the illusion of control.
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Existentialism and the Meaning of Life
40%
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The script explores what it means to live a meaningful life when one knows the end. Mark's philosophy on living with what you have and Eli's struggle to find purpose in his ability.
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The narrative prompts reflection on the inherent value of life and how the knowledge of death impacts its perception. Mark's perspective that life's meaning comes from how one lives, not how long, contrasts with Eli's initial perspective. |
This theme supports the primary theme by providing a philosophical framework for Eli's journey. His struggle with the meaning of life under the shadow of death directly informs his eventual acceptance of fate and the realization that living in the present is what truly matters.
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Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Top Takeaways from This Section
Emotional Analysis
Emotional Variety
Critique
- The script demonstrates strong emotional variety across its 40 scenes, transitioning from initial mystery and foreboding (Scenes 1-3) to intense anxiety and dread (Scenes 4-5), childhood trauma (Scenes 6-9), domestic tension (Scenes 10-13), obsessive paranoia (Scenes 14-16), spiritual bargaining (Scenes 17-18), moral descent (Scenes 29-33), profound guilt (Scenes 34-36), and finally peaceful acceptance (Scenes 37-40). This progression shows thoughtful emotional evolution.
- However, the middle section (Scenes 10-25) becomes emotionally repetitive, focusing heavily on Eli's anxiety about his father's impending death. While this builds tension, the sustained high levels of dread (Intensity 8-10 across 15+ scenes) risk emotional fatigue. The emotional palette narrows to primarily anxiety, dread, and sadness with minimal relief or contrasting emotions.
- The script misses opportunities for emotional contrast that could enhance the overall impact. For instance, moments of genuine connection between Eli and his father (Scenes 20, 23) are overshadowed by the constant presence of the 'TODAY' date, preventing the audience from experiencing pure joy or warmth that would make the impending loss more poignant.
Suggestions
- Introduce brief moments of genuine levity or normalcy between Eli and Mark in Scenes 10-13 to create emotional contrast. For example, in Scene 10 (kitchen scene), add a moment where Mark tells a funny story from Eli's childhood that makes Eli genuinely laugh before the date above Mark's head pulls him back to reality. This would create a more complex emotional experience of 'bittersweetness' rather than pure dread.
- In Scene 15 (grocery store), after Eli sees the date on the shopper, instead of immediately backing away in fear, show him trying to engage with his father in a normal conversation about dinner plans, struggling to maintain normalcy despite his terror. This would add the sub-emotion of 'desperation to preserve normalcy' to the existing fear.
- During the park bench scene (Scene 20), emphasize the beauty of the sunset and the genuine warmth of Mark's memory more strongly before introducing the glowing date. Let the audience experience 15-20 seconds of pure nostalgic joy before the ominous visual reminder returns, creating a stronger emotional rollercoaster.
Emotional Intensity Distribution
Critique
- Emotional intensity peaks too early and remains consistently high for too long. Scene 4 (girl's collapse) reaches a suspense intensity of 9, Scene 5 (janitor's date change) reaches fear intensity of 10, and this high level of intensity is maintained through Scene 25 (Mark's death). This sustained peak risks emotional fatigue and reduces the impact of later climactic moments.
- The distribution lacks sufficient valleys for emotional recovery. After the intense childhood trauma scenes (6-9), the script immediately jumps into high domestic tension without giving the audience breathing room. The brief moments of lower intensity (like Scene 17 in the church) are still emotionally heavy (despair intensity 9), offering little relief.
- The final resolution (Scenes 37-40) has excellent emotional pacing with gradually decreasing intensity, but the transition from the high-intensity guilt phase (Scenes 34-36) to the peaceful resolution happens somewhat abruptly. Scene 36 ends with Eli crying (sadness intensity 10), and Scene 37 begins with him already finding peace in the church.
Suggestions
- Reduce the emotional intensity in Scenes 11-13 by shortening the interactions or adding more mundane domestic details. For example, in Scene 11 (garage), show Mark successfully fixing the car with Eli's help, creating a moment of shared accomplishment before the tension returns. This would create an emotional valley (accomplishment/connection intensity 4-5) between peaks.
- Add a transitional scene between Scenes 36 and 37 showing Eli's journey to the church. This could be a quiet walk through the city at night where he observes ordinary people living their lives without the burden of knowing death dates. This would provide an emotional breather and make his eventual peace in the church feel more earned.
- In Scene 26 (after Mark's death), extend the screen time and add more observational details of normal life continuing around Eli. Show children playing, couples laughing, life going on—this contrast would deepen the sadness while providing visual and emotional variety from the intense close-ups on Eli's grief.
Empathy For Characters
Critique
- Empathy for Eli is exceptionally strong throughout (consistently 8-10 intensity), particularly through his childhood trauma (Scenes 6-9), his helplessness in trying to save his father (Scenes 10-25), and his moral crisis after the girl's death (Scenes 34-36). The audience experiences his journey with deep sympathy and compassion.
- However, empathy for secondary characters is underdeveloped. Mark remains somewhat one-dimensional as the loving but oblivious father. The audience understands Eli's love for him but doesn't develop deep independent empathy for Mark himself. Similarly, Ms. Harper serves primarily as a plot device for Eli's confession rather than a fully realized character with her own emotional journey.
- The victims of Eli's interventions (the aggressive man in Scene 29, the drunk in Scene 30) are presented too simplistically as 'deserving' their fates, which limits moral complexity. The audience is guided to feel relief rather than empathy for these characters, which simplifies the ethical questions the script raises.
Suggestions
- In Scenes 10-13, add small moments that reveal Mark's own fears and vulnerabilities beyond being a supportive father. For instance, in Scene 13 (living room conversation), have Mark confess a specific fear about aging or being alone, not just philosophical thoughts about death. This would create empathy for him as a person facing mortality, not just as Eli's father.
- Develop Ms. Harper's character by showing her reaction to learning her own death date (Scene 28) more fully. Add a follow-up scene where she processes this knowledge—perhaps she calls a loved one, looks at old photos, or makes a small life change. This would make her fear (currently only implied) more tangible and empathetic.
- For the aggressive man in Scene 29, add a brief moment before his death that humanizes him. Perhaps he's arguing with his girlfriend about money troubles or family issues. Show a photo of him with his mother in his wallet. This doesn't excuse his behavior but adds moral complexity, making Eli's decision to let him die more ethically ambiguous and emotionally charged.
Emotional Impact Of Key Scenes
Critique
- Key scenes generally have strong emotional impact: Mark's death (Scene 25) achieves maximum intensity across multiple emotions (dread 10, grief 10, helplessness 10), the girl's death (Scene 34) powerfully conveys guilt and despair (both 9), and Eli's final sacrifice (Scene 39) delivers peaceful resolution effectively.
- However, some pivotal moments lack sufficient buildup or aftermath. The transition from Eli's moral crisis (Scene 36) to his epiphany (Scene 37) happens too quickly. The audience needs to see more of his struggle to reach acceptance rather than jumping from breakdown to peace.
- The hospital intervention scenes (Scenes 32 and 39) could have stronger emotional contrast. In Scene 32, when Eli saves the boy but sees the mother's date change, the emotional impact is somewhat diluted by the chaotic hospital setting. The realization that his 'math is evolving' needs more quiet, focused attention to land fully.
Suggestions
- Extend Scene 36 (Eli's breakdown) by showing him revisiting his notes, looking at photos of his father and the girl, and physically destroying the evidence of his 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' philosophy. This would make his emotional journey from guilt to rejection of his system more visually and emotionally concrete.
- In Scene 32 (hospital with boy and mother), after Eli freezes upon seeing the mother's date change, add a moment where he follows her to the waiting room. Show her comforting her son, making plans for his recovery, completely unaware of her changed fate. This would heighten the tragic irony and emotional impact of Eli's realization.
- For Scene 39 (Eli's final intervention), emphasize the personal cost more strongly. As he gives instructions to save the woman, show flashbacks to his father's death, the girl with the violin, and his mother—connecting his sacrifice to all the losses he's witnessed. This would make his acceptance of 'TODAY' above his own head feel like the culmination of his entire emotional journey.
Complex Emotional Layers
Critique
- The script excels at creating complex emotional layers in several scenes: Scene 20 (park bench) effectively blends nostalgia, foreboding, and melancholy; Scene 23 (final 'I love you') masterfully combines tenderness, dread, and anticipatory grief; Scene 30 (diner) successfully mixes validation, horror, and melancholy.
- However, many scenes in the middle section rely on single dominant emotions. Scenes 11-13 are primarily anxiety and dread with little complexity. Scene 15 (grocery store) is mostly fear and anxiety without exploring other emotional dimensions like Eli's potential anger at the unfairness of his power or his desperation to find meaning in it.
- The childhood flashback scenes (6-9), while emotionally powerful, focus heavily on shock, terror, and grief without exploring the wonder or curiosity a child might feel upon discovering a supernatural ability. Young Eli's emotions are portrayed as uniformly negative, missing an opportunity for more nuanced childhood reactions.
Suggestions
- In Scene 6 (hospital discovery), add moments where young Eli experiences curiosity alongside fear. Perhaps he tests his ability—blinking to see if the dates disappear, trying to touch them, or noticing patterns (older people have closer dates). This would add 'wonder' and 'curiosity' to the existing terror and shock, creating a more complex portrayal of a child discovering something extraordinary.
- During the tense domestic scenes (11-13), introduce sub-emotions of 'frustration' and 'impatience' for Eli. Show him becoming short-tempered with everyday inconveniences because his mind is consumed by the impending date. This would add dimension to his anxiety and make his emotional state more relatable and complex.
- In Scene 29 (city street intervention), instead of having Eli mutter 'Don't save him' with simple determination, show him wrestling with the decision. Perhaps he starts to step forward, hesitates, remembers the 'math' from previous interventions, then steps back. This would add 'internal conflict' and 'moral uncertainty' to the existing dread and anticipation.
Additional Critique
Emotional Pacing and Audience Recovery Time
Critiques
- The script doesn't provide sufficient emotional recovery time between intense sequences. After the emotionally devastating Scene 25 (Mark's death), Scene 26 offers only 20 seconds of Eli's quiet grief before jumping to Scene 27 (counselor confrontation). The audience needs more time to process Mark's death before engaging with new plot developments.
- The transition from Eli's period of dangerous validation (Scenes 29-31) to his moral crisis (Scenes 34-36) happens without sufficient emotional bridge. The audience experiences Eli's dark satisfaction in Scene 30 (validation intensity 8), then immediately his guilt in Scene 34 without seeing his gradual realization that his actions are morally problematic.
- The final act (Scenes 37-40) provides excellent emotional resolution but moves quickly from Eli's epiphany to his sacrifice. More scenes showing him living with his new understanding before the final intervention would make his sacrifice feel more deliberate and emotionally earned.
Suggestions
- Add a transitional scene between 25 and 26 showing Eli returning to an empty house. Show him making tea for two out of habit, setting the table, then realizing his father won't be there. This quiet, mundane moment of grief would provide emotional breathing room and deepen the impact of Mark's absence.
- Between Scenes 33 and 34, add a scene where Eli tries to use his 'math' to save someone and fails, or where he saves someone but the date doesn't change as expected. This would show his growing doubt about his system, making his eventual realization in Scene 34 feel more gradual and earned.
- Extend the timeline between Scenes 37 (church epiphany) and 38 (hospital rooftop). Show Eli living for days or weeks with his new peaceful understanding—helping people in small ways without trying to change their dates, reconnecting with ordinary life. This would make his final decision to intervene at great personal cost feel like a conscious choice rather than an immediate reaction.
Supporting Characters' Emotional Journeys
Critiques
- Ms. Harper's emotional journey is underdeveloped. She moves from skeptical counselor to believer too quickly (Scenes 27-28), and her own emotional reaction to learning her death date (November 8, 2043) is barely explored. The audience doesn't experience her fear, denial, or acceptance alongside Eli's confession.
- The girl with the violin (Scenes 33-35) serves primarily as a plot device for Eli's guilt rather than a character with her own emotional reality. Her death evokes sympathy but not deep empathy because we know nothing about her dreams, fears, or relationships.
- Even Mark's emotional experience is limited to his interactions with Eli. We don't see him grappling with his wife's death, his concerns about Eli's mental health, or his own unspoken fears about mortality. His emotional life exists only in relation to his son.
Suggestions
- Add a scene from Ms. Harper's perspective after Scene 28. Show her researching similar cases, struggling with whether to report Eli, or confronting her own mortality after learning her date. This would give her an independent emotional arc and make her eventual support of Eli more meaningful.
- Before Scene 33 (crosswalk accident), introduce the girl with the violin in an earlier scene. Perhaps she's practicing outside Eli's school, or she's in one of his classes. Show her excitement about an upcoming recital or her nervousness about auditions. This would make her death in Scene 34 emotionally devastating rather than just conceptually tragic.
- In Scenes 10-13, add small moments that reveal Mark's inner life. Perhaps he looks at a photo of his late wife when he thinks Eli isn't watching, or he has a conversation with a friend about his concerns for Eli's future. This would make him a three-dimensional character whose loss the audience feels more deeply.
Visual-Emotional Synergy and Symbolism
Critiques
- While the floating dates are a powerful visual metaphor, their emotional impact becomes repetitive. After 40 scenes, the visual of dates above heads loses some of its initial emotional punch because it's used consistently without variation or development.
- The script misses opportunities to use visual symbolism to enhance emotional complexity. For example, Eli's bedroom walls covered in dates (Scene 14) effectively shows his obsession, but this visual isn't developed or transformed as his emotional state changes.
- The final disappearance of all dates (Scene 40) is emotionally powerful but could be enhanced with more visual storytelling. The transition from a world with dates to one without happens quickly, missing opportunities to show characters' reactions to this fundamental change in reality.
Suggestions
- Vary the visual presentation of the dates to reflect Eli's emotional state. When he's anxious (Scenes 11-13), the dates could pulse or flicker. When he's in his dangerous validation phase (Scenes 29-31), they could appear sharper, more defined. When he finds peace (Scene 37), they could become softer, almost blending into the background.
- Show the transformation of Eli's bedroom (Scene 14) after his breakdown (Scene 36). Perhaps he takes down all the calendars and notes, or he covers them with pictures of his father and mother. This visual change would powerfully represent his emotional transformation from control to acceptance.
- Extend the date disappearance sequence in Scene 40. Show multiple characters experiencing this change in different contexts: a doctor in surgery, a couple on a date, an elderly person looking in the mirror. Show their confusion, then their dawning realization of freedom. This would make the emotional impact of Eli's sacrifice more communal and profound.
Top Takeaway from This Section
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Eli's internal goals evolve from dealing with emotional isolation and the fear of loss to grappling with guilt over his perceived ability to influence death. He ultimately seeks understanding and acceptance of mortality, orchestrating a profound personal transformation. |
| External Goals | Eli's external goals shift from trying to avoid social interactions to actively intervening to save others' lives based on the dates he sees, culminating in a deeper understanding of the consequences of his actions. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict is the struggle between Fate vs. Free Will. Eli’s experiences with the floating death dates challenge his belief in personal agency, as he grapples with the notion that certain outcomes are predestined. |
Character Development Contribution: Eli's evolution through internal and external goals highlights his growth from a troubled, isolated boy into a mature individual who embraces life’s uncertainties, emphasizing themes of acceptance and personal responsibility.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The progression of Eli’s goals drives the narrative forward, creating tension as he encounters critical moments where he must decide between intervention and acceptance, culminating in moments of growth that resolve plot conflicts.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The interplay between Eli’s goals and philosophical conflicts enriches the themes of mortality, the complexity of human relationships, and the nature of existence, inviting the audience to ponder the value of life in the face of inevitable loss.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
| Compelled to Read | Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | ||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Page | Tone | Overall | Scene Impact | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - A Day Like Any Other Improve | 2 | Mysterious, Introspective, Melancholic | 8.5 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 2 - Silent Burdens Improve | 3 | Mysterious, Melancholic, Intriguing | 8.2 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 3 - A Tense Morning Improve | 3 | Mysterious, Tense, Isolating | 8.2 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 4 - A Day of Distress Improve | 4 | Tense, Foreboding, Emotional | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 5 - The Date Improve | 5 | Terror, Anxiety, Realization | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 6 - Eli's Revelation Improve | 7 | Tense, Melancholic, Foreboding | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 7 - A Cold Touch Improve | 8 | Terror, Shock, Isolation | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 8 - The Final Goodbye Improve | 9 | Tense, Emotional, Mysterious | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 9 - The Weight of Time Improve | 9 | Shocking, Hollow, Terrified, Contemplative | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
| 10 - A Morning of Unspoken Worries Improve | 11 | Tense, Emotional, Mysterious, Reflective | 8.5 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 11 - Under the Hood Improve | 13 | Tense, Emotional, Mysterious | 8.5 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - Unspoken Tensions Improve | 13 | Tension, Anxiety, Emotional Paralysis | 8.5 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 13 - Confronting Mortality Improve | 14 | Reflective, Introspective, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 14 - The Weight of Time Improve | 15 | Anxiety, Shock, Isolation, Emotional Turmoil | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 15 - Ominous Connections Improve | 16 | Tense, Anxious, Mysterious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 16 - Fleeting Hope Improve | 17 | Anxiety, Hope, Shock, Distress | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 17 - Desperate Bargain Improve | 18 | Intense, Emotional, Mysterious | 8.5 | 4 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 18 - Late Night Tensions Improve | 19 | Serious, Tense, Emotional | 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 19 - Desperate Inquiry Improve | 20 | Tense, Inquisitive, Distressed | 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 20 - Unchanging Bonds Improve | 20 | Emotional, Reflective, Mysterious | 8.5 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 21 - The Illusion of Control Improve | 21 | Anxiety, Desperation, Realization, Resignation | 8.7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 22 - The Weight of Today Improve | 23 | Anxiety, Desperation, Tension | 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 23 - A Moment of Love Improve | 24 | Emotional, Intimate, Reflective | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 4 | 5 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 24 - A Caution Unspoken Improve | 24 | Tense, Emotional, Serious | 8.5 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 25 - A Sudden Goodbye Improve | 25 | Tense, Heartbreaking, Desperate, Numb | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 26 - The Weight of Foreknowledge Improve | 27 | Melancholic, Reflective, Fatalistic | 9.2 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 27 - The Burden of Foresight Improve | 28 | Intense, Emotional, Intriguing, Revealing | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 28 - The Weight of Knowledge Improve | 32 | Tense, Foreboding, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 29 - The Weight of Time Improve | 33 | Tense, Foreboding, Intense, Fatalistic, Resigned | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 30 - A Fateful Warning Improve | 35 | Tense, Foreboding, Fatalistic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 31 - The Weight of Choice Improve | 37 | Intense, Emotional, Confrontational | 9.2 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 32 - A Moment of Doubt Improve | 38 | Tense, Foreboding, Emotional | 8.7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 33 - Fate at the Crosswalk Improve | 39 | Tense, Foreboding, Fatalistic, Intense | 9.2 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 34 - Inevitability at the Crosswalk Improve | 41 | Intense, Emotional, Foreboding | 9.2 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 35 - Murder by Omission Improve | 42 | Guilt, Acceptance, Regret | 9.2 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 36 - Confronting Guilt Improve | 43 | Emotional, Introspective, Regretful | 9.2 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
| 37 - Eli's Epiphany Improve | 43 | Reflective, Contemplative, Accepting | 9.2 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 38 - A Costly Decision Improve | 45 | Melancholic, Intense, Fatalistic | 9.2 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 9 | |
| 39 - A Race Against Time Improve | 46 | Intense, Emotional, Reflective | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 40 - A Date with Freedom Improve | 47 | Reflective, Acceptance, Hopeful | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are insights from the scene-level analysis, highlighting strengths, weaknesses, and actionable suggestions.
Some points may appear in both strengths and weaknesses due to scene variety.
Tip: Click on criteria in the top row for detailed summaries.
Scene Strengths
- Emotional depth and complexity that resonates with viewers
- Intriguing and unique supernatural concept enhancing the narrative
- Strong character development and dynamics that provide depth to relationships
- Effective tension-building throughout the screenplay that engages the audience
- Compelling visual storytelling that enhances the thematic elements of the screenplay
Scene Weaknesses
- Limited dialogue which may hinder character interactions and engagement
- Reliance on visual cues could lead to confusion regarding character motivations or supernatural rules
- Sparse external conflict reducing the action-oriented pacing of the screenplay
- Potential for heavy themes to overwhelm the narrative, risking alienation of the audience
- Limited plot progression may leave viewers feeling unresolved or unsatisfied
Suggestions
- Develop dialogue interactions to enhance character dynamics and provide more depth to interpersonal relationships
- Consider integrating more external conflict or action to balance the reliance on internal monologue and maintain audience engagement
- Clarify the supernatural rules to avoid confusion, possibly through additional visual storytelling or character dialogue
- Ensure thematic elements are woven into the narrative compellingly, avoiding heaviness while maintaining emotional impact
- Focus on pacing by allowing for more plot progression, ensuring characters have clear goals and actionable stakes throughout the script
Scene 1 - A Day Like Any Other
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully introduces a peculiar supernatural element without overt explanation, immediately piquing the reader's curiosity. The subtle yet persistent visual of the dates floating above people's heads creates an unsettling atmosphere and begs the question: what does it mean? Eli's reaction to the girl with 'TODAY' above her head provides a focal point for this mystery, hinting at a personal connection or a foreboding premonition. The scene ends on Eli's internal conflict, leaving the reader wanting to understand his ability and the significance of 'TODAY'.
The opening scene effectively establishes a mysterious premise that promises a compelling narrative. The concept of seeing death dates, presented so subtly, is a strong hook. Eli's withdrawn nature and intense observation of the girl with 'TODAY' suggest a central conflict and a protagonist with a unique burden. This sets up a strong foundation for exploring the implications of this ability and Eli's personal journey. The overall mystery of the dates and Eli's apparent sensitivity to them provide ample motivation to continue.
Scene 2 - Silent Burdens
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene builds directly on the intrigue established in the first scene. Eli's ability to see dates is now confirmed and actively causes him discomfort, creating immediate sympathy and curiosity for his character. The brief, almost aggressive, interaction with the Kid provides a glimpse into Eli's social isolation and the burden of his unique sight. The Kid's blunt observation about Eli looking like he's 'at a funeral' directly addresses Eli's withdrawn nature and the visual cue of the dates, hinting at a deeper source of his unease. The scene ends with Eli closing his eyes, a small action that paradoxically amplifies the desire to know what he's seeing and why it affects him so profoundly.
The script is building momentum effectively. The introduction of Eli's ability in Scene 1 and its immediate personal impact in Scene 2 creates a strong hook. The mystery of these dates and Eli's reaction to them is the primary driver. The unresolved tension from Eli's discomfort in Scene 1 is carried forward and amplified here, making the reader eager to understand the rules and implications of this phenomenon. The dialogue, though sparse, is character-revealing and hints at the isolating nature of Eli's gift, setting up future character development and plot points.
Scene 3 - A Tense Morning
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene immediately ratchets up the tension and visual complexity, making the reader eager to understand Eli's unique perspective and the implications of the 'too close' date. The sheer volume of dates creates a sense of overwhelming chaos that Eli navigates, begging the question of what these dates represent and why he's so affected. The teacher's date, 'December 14, 2026,' specifically marked as 'Close. Too close,' introduces a personal stake and a looming threat, propelling the reader to find out what will happen on that particular day.
The script is building significant momentum. Eli's ability to see dates is now established as a constant, almost debilitating aspect of his existence, and the chaotic hallway scene effectively visualizes the overwhelming nature of this. The introduction of a specific, 'too close' date for the teacher, juxtaposed with Eli's hurried reaction, solidifies the idea that these dates have dire consequences. The story is effectively posing questions about Eli's purpose and the nature of these impending dates, making the reader invested in unraveling the mystery.
Scene 4 - A Day of Distress
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling, driving the reader to immediately want to know what happens next. The stakes are raised dramatically as Eli witnesses the girl collapse, a direct consequence of the mysterious 'TODAY' date he's been observing. The tension builds with the flashes of disturbing images and his own physical reaction, culminating in the girl's near-death state. His decision to step forward, breaking his passive observation for the first time, is a powerful hook. The scene ends on a cliffhanger as he enters the nurse's office, leaving the reader desperate to understand his intervention and its potential consequences.
The screenplay has built a strong momentum through Eli's unsettling ability and his internal struggle. This scene significantly escalates the central mystery of the dates and introduces immediate, life-or-death stakes. The flashes hinting at past trauma and the current crisis create a powerful emotional core. The reader is invested in Eli's peculiar gift and how he will navigate these events, especially with the introduction of a clear, immediate crisis directly linked to his observations.
Scene 5 - The Date
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully escalates the stakes and introduces a profound moral dilemma for Eli. The immediate aftermath of the girl's collapse, with the ambulance speeding away, provides a visceral sense of consequence. The visual of the janitor's date shifting from a distant future to 'TODAY' is a stunning and terrifying revelation, confirming Eli's role in a grim cosmic equation. This revelation immediately compels the reader to want to understand the implications: Did Eli cause the girl's near-death, and now by extension, the janitor's? What does this mean for Eli's ability and his future actions? The scene ends with Eli's raw terror, a powerful emotion that makes the reader desperate to see how he will cope with this newfound, horrifying understanding.
The script has built significant momentum with Eli's developing supernatural ability and the unsettling appearance of death dates. Scene 4 delivered a major jolt with the girl's collapse, and this scene immediately capitalizes on that by presenting the chilling consequence of Eli's action. The core mystery of the 'dates' is now directly tied to Eli's agency and the concept of displacing death, which is a far more compelling hook than simply foreseeing events. The audience is deeply invested in Eli's emotional turmoil and the philosophical implications of his power, wanting to know how he will navigate this ethical minefield and what the 'truth' he now knows will lead him to do.
Scene 6 - Eli's Revelation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully introduces the inciting incident of Eli's ability, rooted in a deeply emotional and personal tragedy. The visual of the dates appearing, first as blurry numbers and then sharpening into specific dates, creates immediate intrigue and a sense of unease. The fact that this happens in a hospital, a place associated with life and death, amplifies the impact. The escalating discovery of dates above other individuals in the room, culminating in Eli's shock and the specific detail of his mother's unchanging date and the wall clock, leaves the reader with several unanswered questions: What do these dates mean? Why is his mother's date not changing? Is this a vision of the past or future? This escalating mystery and emotional weight provide a strong impetus to continue reading.
The script has built a compelling mystery around Eli's ability and the significance of these dates. Scene 5, with its terrifying realization of displaced death, raised the stakes significantly. This scene, however, takes us back to the origin, showing the *first* moment Eli becomes aware of this phenomenon, directly tied to the death of his mother. This provides crucial context for his later actions and motivations. The juxtaposition of his childhood innocence with this disturbing discovery creates a powerful emotional anchor for the narrative. The unanswered questions from previous scenes (why the dates appear, what they signify) are now further deepened by this origin story, making the reader eager to understand how this ability developed and how it will shape Eli's future.
Scene 7 - A Cold Touch
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is highly compelling because it escalates the mystery and Eli's personal stakes dramatically. The discovery that his mother's hand is cold, combined with the flickering date, creates immediate suspense. Eli's terrified whisper of "What is that?" leaves the audience desperate for an answer. It directly follows his shock at seeing the dates and is the first moment where he actively engages with this phenomenon on a personal level, making the reader want to know what happens to his mother and how this new ability will affect him.
The script has built significant momentum by introducing the supernatural element of the dates and then immediately tying it to a deeply emotional event – Eli's mother's potential death. This scene solidifies that the supernatural phenomenon is directly impacting Eli's personal life, raising the stakes considerably. The earlier scene in the hospital hallway established the existence of the dates, and this scene personalizes them, making the reader invested in understanding their meaning and consequence for Eli and his family.
Scene 8 - The Final Goodbye
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene delivers a profound emotional punch and deepens the mystery surrounding the dates. The visual of the date above Eli's mother's head fading to nothing is incredibly impactful, directly linking the supernatural phenomenon to her death. This creates an immediate desire to understand the mechanics of this power – why did it fade? What does it mean? The emotional paralysis of Eli, who doesn't cry but stares at the void, is also compelling, making the reader question how he will cope and what this means for his future. The doctor's simple 'I'm sorry' juxtaposed with Eli's internal experience makes the supernatural element all the more potent.
The script continues to build a strong momentum by introducing a clear supernatural element tied directly to death and emotional trauma for Eli. The contrast between the previous scene's build-up of Eli's fear and confusion and this scene's devastating confirmation of his mother's death, coupled with the visual of the date vanishing, solidifies the central mystery. This raises stakes and poses immediate questions: Is this ability tied to death? Can it be controlled? How will this trauma shape Eli? The narrative is now deeply invested in exploring these questions.
Scene 9 - The Weight of Time
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene powerfully solidifies Eli's newfound ability and the immediate, overwhelming impact it has on him. The visual of 'dates everywhere' in the hospital hallway, described as 'clear, sharp, permanent,' confirms the supernatural nature of his sight and its inescapability. The pivotal moment where he sees 'APRIL 17, 2026' above his father's head and freezes in place, only to dismiss it as 'Nothing,' creates significant tension and a hook for the reader. The transition to the exterior and Eli's realization that the phenomenon is 'real and permanent' sets a new, darker tone for the narrative, making the reader eager to understand the implications and how Eli will cope.
The script's momentum remains incredibly strong. Scene 9 is crucial because it moves from the raw grief and shock of his mother's death (and the fading date) to the terrifying confirmation of Eli's ability to see future dates. The introduction of April 17, 2026, as a significant date associated with his father is a major development that creates a compelling personal stake for Eli and, by extension, the reader. This scene effectively links Eli's personal tragedy to a broader, looming temporal threat, raising the stakes significantly.
Scene 10 - A Morning of Unspoken Worries
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene effectively raises the stakes by placing Eli in a tense domestic situation, directly confronting his father with his foreknowledge. The visual of the unchanging date above Mark's head creates palpable dread. Eli's attempts to subtly warn his father, met with casual reassurance, highlight the dramatic irony and Eli's growing desperation, compelling the reader to see how this inevitable future will unfold and if Eli can break through his father's obliviousness.
The script continues to build momentum by deepening Eli's internal conflict and establishing a clear, impending threat. The date 'April 17, 2026,' has been a persistent, unsettling presence, and this scene grounds it in a personal relationship, making the stakes of Eli's ability incredibly high. The unresolved tension between Eli's knowledge and his father's ignorance, coupled with the looming date, strongly encourages the reader to continue to see how this unfolds and what Eli will do.
Scene 11 - Under the Hood
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene subtly ratchets up the tension between Eli and his father, Mark. Eli's persistent insistence on a medical checkup, despite Mark's reassurances, creates immediate dramatic irony. The visual of the unchanging date above Mark's head acts as a constant, looming threat, directly contrasting with Mark's casual demeanor. Eli's inability to return his father's smile and his unnaturally quick nod signal a significant emotional disconnect, suggesting his anxieties are far deeper than Mark suspects. This scene doesn't offer a dramatic cliffhanger, but it leaves the reader with a strong sense of unease and a desire to see how Eli's worries will manifest and if Mark will ever understand.
The overall script continues to build momentum by deepening the mystery surrounding the dates and Eli's unique ability. The recurring presence of the April 17, 2026 date above Mark's head is a powerful hook, creating a ticking clock for the narrative. Eli's internal struggle and his strained relationship with his father, highlighted by his evasiveness and the visual cues of his anxiety, add significant emotional weight. The contrast between Eli's prescience and his father's oblivious contentment creates inherent conflict. The earlier scenes establishing the supernatural nature of the dates and Eli's trauma from his mother's death provide a solid foundation for the escalating stakes, making the reader eager to understand the significance of this particular date and Eli's desperate attempts to avert a disaster.
Scene 12 - Unspoken Tensions
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene effectively builds on the growing tension between Eli and his father, Mark. Eli's increasingly specific and anxious warnings about driving, especially at night, create immediate intrigue. The pulsing date graphic adds a visual element that directly ties into the supernatural premise and Eli's distress, making the reader wonder what that specific date signifies and why it's so problematic for Eli. Mark's confusion and eventual softening toward Eli create a relatable human element, but Eli's inability to confide creates a palpable sense of unresolved conflict and worry, making the reader want to know what will happen next.
The script continues to build a strong sense of dread and anticipation, primarily centered around the ominous date of April 17, 2026. Eli's growing anxiety and his father's unwitting obliviousness create a compelling dramatic irony. The established supernatural element of the dates, now visually pulsing, adds a unique hook. The unresolved emotional tension between Eli and Mark, and the mystery surrounding the significance of that specific date, are strong motivators for continuing the story. The overarching question of whether Eli can prevent something from happening, and what that 'something' is, keeps the reader invested.
Scene 13 - Confronting Mortality
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is highly compelling because it directly confronts Eli's overwhelming anxiety and the supernatural element of the dates. Eli's questions about dying and control, coupled with Mark's philosophical but dismissive answers, create a powerful emotional resonance. The specific mention of the date "APRIL 17, 2026" and Eli's internal thought about "Control" directly tie into the core mystery and Eli's internal struggle. The scene ends on a dramatic emotional beat, leaving the reader eager to see how Eli will grapple with his father's seemingly indifferent perspective on the fate Eli foresees.
The script continues to build immense tension. Eli's supernatural ability, initially a terrifying burden, is now being actively, though subtly, applied to his father's impending death date. The recurring 'April 17, 2026' is a constant ticking clock, and Mark's casual discussion of his wife's death and the meaning of life, while seemingly normal, is deeply ironic and tragic given what Eli knows. The disconnect between Eli's internal terror and his father's philosophical outlook is a powerful hook that makes the reader desperate to know if Eli will intervene or if history will repeat itself.
Scene 14 - The Weight of Time
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is highly compelling because it plunges into Eli's internal turmoil and obsessive state. The visual of his room, plastered with calendars and filled with analytical notebooks, provides a tangible representation of his desperate attempts to understand and control the impending date. The faint reflection of 'APRIL 17, 2026' in the mirror creates a moment of doubt and heightened suspense, leaving the reader desperate to know if this date is a fixed reality or a product of his anxiety. The scene ends on a cliffhanger about the nature of his perception, making the reader eager to see how he will proceed.
The script continues to build significant momentum. Eli's escalating obsession and the visual confirmation of his extensive analysis (calendars, notebooks) firmly establish the central mystery surrounding 'April 17, 2026.' The previous scenes have built a strong emotional foundation by showing his genuine concern for his father and his growing fear. This scene solidifies Eli's role as an active, albeit troubled, protagonist trying to decipher a terrifying phenomenon. The unresolved question of whether he's 'imagining it' or 'not' leaves the reader invested in discovering the truth and seeing what he will do next.
Scene 15 - Ominous Connections
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene significantly escalates the tension by revealing that Mark is not the only person with the April 17, 2026 date above his head. The visual of the same date appearing above a stranger who coughs violently introduces a disturbing symmetry. Eli's reaction of freezing and backing away in fear confirms that this is not just about his father, but a larger, more widespread phenomenon that is deeply unsettling him. The fact that the date is 'unchanged' above Mark, yet appears 'the same' on the shopper, hints at the impersonal and potentially unavoidable nature of this phenomenon, leaving the reader desperate to know the connection and the implications.
The script's momentum remains incredibly strong. The introduction of the shared date across two unrelated individuals exponentially increases the stakes and the mystery surrounding April 17, 2026. Eli's growing anxiety and obsessive tracking, coupled with his father's seemingly oblivious health, create a palpable sense of dread. The narrative has successfully established Eli's unique ability and the dire implications of the dates he sees, making the reader desperate to understand the 'why' and 'how' of this phenomenon and its potential consequences. The moral quandary Eli is facing—whether to interfere and potentially cause other deaths—adds a compelling ethical layer.
Scene 16 - Fleeting Hope
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its immediate danger and the crucial revelation about Eli's ability. The near-fatal accident with Mark and the subsequent flicker of the date from April 17th to April 19th and back to April 17th is a powerful visual and emotional hook. It directly addresses Eli's anxieties and provides a tangible, albeit fleeting, piece of evidence that his perception of dates might be manipulable or tied to specific events. Eli's collapsing face signifies a profound emotional reaction, leaving the reader desperate to know if he can indeed influence these dates and what the significance of the 19th truly was.
The screenplay has been building significant tension around Eli's ability and the looming date of April 17, 2026. The previous scenes have established his deep anxiety and obsession, culminating in his desperate attempts to protect his father. This scene delivers a major payoff by showing a direct consequence of Eli's interventions (or lack thereof) and introducing the possibility of influencing the dates themselves, even if only briefly. The near-death experience and the flickering date provide a concrete, high-stakes development that makes the reader eager to see how Eli will react and if this is a turning point in his understanding or control of his ability.
Scene 17 - Desperate Bargain
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides a moment of emotional vulnerability and introspection for Eli, but it doesn't introduce a strong immediate hook to propel the reader to the next scene. Eli's bargaining plea to take years off his life is poignant, but the lack of response and the overwhelming sense of futility ("Nothing. Never anything.") leave the reader with a feeling of resignation rather than anticipation. While the date above the priest adds a touch of mystery, it doesn't directly connect to Eli's immediate predicament or create a burning question for what happens next.
The script is still building intrigue around Eli's ability and its consequences. The recurring theme of dates, now presented as something inescapable even in prayer, deepens the existential dread. However, the emotional arc of Eli's bargaining, while significant for his character, doesn't introduce a new plot point that urgently demands to be addressed. The overarching mystery of why these dates exist and the ultimate fate of Eli and those around him continues to be the primary driver, but the pacing in this particular scene is slower, focusing on Eli's internal struggle rather than external plot progression.
Scene 18 - Late Night Tensions
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene directly follows Eli's desperate, unanswered plea in the church and his subsequent internal despair. The tension is heightened by Mark's pointed accusation that Eli is acting as if he's already gone. This statement is deeply unsettling, especially given Eli's knowledge of impending dates, and immediately makes the reader question the truth behind it and Eli's motivations. The scene doesn't end with a cliffhanger in the traditional sense, but Mark's words create a significant emotional hook. The reader wants to know if Eli *is* acting as if Mark is gone because he knows something, or if Mark is simply intuiting Eli's fear and anxiety about the future. The unresolved nature of this emotional conflict drives the desire to see how Eli will respond next.
The screenplay has built considerable momentum through Eli's increasing desperation and his attempts to intervene or understand the dates he sees. The introduction of Mark's obliviousness to these dates, contrasted with Eli's acute awareness, creates a central dramatic tension. Eli's failed attempts at bargaining and his growing paranoia, culminating in Mark's unsettling accusation, have established a strong narrative drive. The recurring motif of 'April 17, 2026' and the subsequent near-misses and observed deaths, coupled with Eli's internal struggle and Mark's dismissal of Eli's concerns, all contribute to a palpable sense of dread and urgency. The reader is invested in understanding whether Eli can change fate, what the significance of 'April 17, 2026' truly is, and how Mark's perceived 'already gone' state connects to this.
Scene 19 - Desperate Inquiry
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene immediately follows a moment of high emotional impact, with Mark's accusation that Eli is acting like he's already gone. Eli's subsequent purposeful and urgent walk through the hospital, stopping a nurse to inquire about sudden death, creates immediate suspense. The nurse's hesitant and suspicious reaction, coupled with Eli's realization that he's made a mistake and his retreat, leaves the reader wondering what triggered his specific fear and what consequences his approach might have. This leaves the reader wanting to know what Eli truly suspects and how he will pursue this information.
The overall script is building significant momentum. Eli's escalating anxiety about his father's fate, coupled with the supernatural element of seeing death dates, is a strong hook. The previous scene's emotional climax, where Mark implies Eli is acting as if he's already gone, directly fuels Eli's desperate search for answers in this scene. This quest to understand and potentially prevent a foreseen death is the core driving force, and the vague responses from the nurse only heighten the mystery surrounding the impending danger.
Scene 20 - Unchanging Bonds
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene offers a poignant and intimate moment between Eli and his father, Mark, touching on their past and present relationship. The visual of the glowing date above Mark's head, coupled with Eli's quiet admission that he "didn't" grow out of his clinginess, creates a subtle but powerful emotional undercurrent. However, the scene ends with a simple "CUT TO," which, while fitting for the moment, doesn't offer a strong cliffhanger or immediate hook for the *very next* scene. The emotional resonance is high, but the plot momentum stalls slightly.
The script's overall momentum remains strong, largely due to the looming date of April 17, 2026, which has been consistently reinforced. Eli's struggle to reconcile his abilities with his love for his father, particularly after his failed attempts to warn Mark in previous scenes (16, 18, 19), creates significant dramatic irony. The quiet intimacy of this scene, contrasted with the unspoken terror of the impending date, builds suspense. The audience knows something is coming, and these tender moments make the potential loss even more impactful, driving the desire to see how this plays out.
Scene 21 - The Illusion of Control
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling because it directly confronts the central conflict and Eli's burgeoning understanding of his power. The immediate jump from his desperate, futile efforts to 'do everything' to the normalcy of his father's morning routine creates immense dramatic irony and dread. The dialogue, particularly Eli's pleas and Mark's dismissal, builds unbearable tension. The scene masterfully uses the 'TODAY' date visual to punctuate the inevitability of the impending event. The final moments, where Eli realizes the illusion of control, are deeply impactful and leave the reader desperate to see how he will cope with this new, devastating understanding.
The script has been building towards this inevitable confrontation with 'TODAY' for many scenes. Eli's emotional arc, from witnessing the phenomenon to attempting to intervene and now understanding his limitations, is at a critical turning point. The unresolved plot threads of what 'happens today,' the implications of his power, and the emotional toll it's taking on him, are at their peak. The foreshadowing of Mark's death, combined with Eli's newfound existential dread, creates an incredibly powerful hook that makes the reader need to know what happens next.
Scene 22 - The Weight of Today
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is a slow burn, relying heavily on atmosphere and the unspoken dread surrounding the 'TODAY' date above Mark's head. Eli's paralysis and Mark's resigned acceptance ("Alright. One day.") create a palpable tension. The visual of the date 'rising with him' is a strong, unsettling image that directly relates to the core mystery and the impending doom. While it's not an action-packed cliffhanger, it masterfully builds anticipation for what's to come.
The script has been building significant momentum. The revelation of Eli's abilities, his failed attempts to control fate (saving the girl, the janitor), and the devastating loss of his father have established high stakes. This scene, while quiet, directly follows Eli's profound realization that control is an illusion. The persistent 'TODAY' date above Mark's head acts as a ticking clock, tying directly into the emotional weight of the previous scene and the overarching narrative of predestination vs. free will. The reader is now deeply invested in seeing how Eli will cope and what will happen on this fateful day.
Scene 23 - A Moment of Love
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its emotional weight and the implied finality of the interaction. Eli's "I love you" to his father, coupled with Mark's genuine smile and affectionate gesture, creates a poignant and heartbreaking moment. The slight flicker and then stabilization of the "TODAY" date above Mark's head, immediately preceding him opening the door, powerfully signifies that this is the final, definitive moment before the inevitable occurs. The brevity and raw emotion of the exchange leave the reader desperate to know what happens next, fully anticipating the tragic event that has been building.
The script maintains a very high level of engagement, primarily driven by the escalating tension surrounding Mark's 'TODAY' date. This scene, by providing a moment of genuine connection and love between father and son immediately before Mark exits, amplifies the reader's dread and anticipation. The established pattern of foreshadowing, combined with Eli's evident distress and his attempts to prevent this departure, creates an almost unbearable suspense. The reader is fully invested in seeing how the inevitable will unfold, making them eager to jump to the next scene to witness the climax of this long-built narrative arc.
Scene 24 - A Caution Unspoken
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides a moment of tender farewell between Mark and Eli, but it doesn't inherently create a burning desire to jump to the next scene. The emotional weight comes from the audience's knowledge of what's to come, rather than new information or suspense generated within the scene itself. Eli's "Be careful" and Mark's dismissive "I always am" carries a heavy dramatic irony, but it's a quiet confirmation rather than a sharp hook. The scene feels like a necessary pause before the inevitable, and while poignant, it doesn't actively propel the reader forward with unanswered questions or immediate threats.
The overall script maintains a high continuation score due to the mounting tension and the audience's foreknowledge of the April 17, 2026, date. Eli's desperate attempts to warn his father, his emotional state, and the established supernatural element of the death dates create a powerful sense of dread and anticipation. The previous scenes have built a strong foundation of mystery and emotional stakes, making the reader desperate to see how this pivotal day unfolds and what the consequences will be, both for Mark and for Eli. The dramatic irony is a significant driver, compelling the reader to witness the inevitable.
Scene 25 - A Sudden Goodbye
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its immediate, devastating payoff. After weeks of building suspense around the 'April 17, 2026' date and Eli's desperate attempts to prevent it, the death of Mark delivers the ultimate shock. The visual of 'TODAY' fading above Mark's head is a powerful and immediate confirmation of Eli's ability and the terrible price it extracts. The scene ends with Eli's grief and the finality of the blanket being pulled over his father, leaving the reader desperate to know how Eli will cope and what this means for him and the world.
The script has reached a critical turning point with the death of Mark. This event validates Eli's entire struggle and the supernatural premise of the story. The established tension from Eli's warnings and the ominous date has now exploded into tragedy, fulfilling the dramatic arc and raising the stakes exponentially. The reader is now invested in seeing how Eli processes this loss, whether his abilities will change, and what further consequences his actions will have, making them eager to continue.
Scene 26 - The Weight of Foreknowledge
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene delivers a profound emotional punch with the death of Mark and Eli's reaction. The visual of the street returning to normal while Eli remains isolated and numb provides a strong sense of pathos. The core of the scene's compulsion lies in Eli's pre-knowledge of this event and his calm, almost detached acceptance, which creates intrigue. The audience is left wanting to understand the full implications of his ability and how he will move forward from this devastating confirmation.
The script has built significant momentum towards this tragic event, with Eli's desperate attempts to warn Mark and his growing understanding of the consequences of his foresight. Mark's death, while devastating, is a pivotal moment that dramatically raises the stakes. The audience is now deeply invested in Eli's journey and his reaction to this loss, eager to see how he will cope, if his 'confirmation' will lead to action, and what the ultimate purpose of his ability is.
Scene 27 - The Burden of Foresight
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully ratchets up the tension by having Ms. Harper confront Eli with his past actions, all while he is acutely aware of her own impending death date. The dialogue is sharp and probing, revealing Eli's deep-seated guilt and his burden of knowledge. The climax of the scene, where Ms. Harper directly asks him to 'Show me,' creates an immediate need to see what happens next, making it difficult to put the script down. The juxtaposition of Eli's desperate confession with Ms. Harper's unnerving calm and her own visible death date provides a powerful hook.
After the devastating loss of his father, the script has successfully pivoted to exploring the 'why' and 'how' of Eli's abilities and the wider implications. This scene solidifies Eli's unique, and seemingly cursed, gift, and introduces a new dynamic with Ms. Harper, who not only believes him but seems to understand the stakes. The ongoing mystery of Eli's power, the moral dilemmas he faces, and the threat of his own fate (implied by his father's death and his own internal struggles) continue to drive the narrative forward with significant momentum. The introduction of Ms. Harper as a potential confidante or guide adds a new layer of intrigue.
Scene 28 - The Weight of Knowledge
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides a crucial turning point for Eli's character and the narrative. The demonstration of his ability to see death dates, confirmed by Ms. Harper's reaction, immediately creates immense intrigue. The stakes are raised as Ms. Harper acknowledges the reality of his power and the potential danger it poses to him. The scene ends with a powerful emotional beat for Eli, realizing someone finally believes him and fears the implications, making the reader desperate to see how he will cope and what Ms. Harper will do next.
The script has built significant momentum, moving from the personal tragedy of Eli's father's death to the broader implications of his supernatural ability. The introduction of Ms. Harper as a character who not only believes but also fears Eli's power opens up new avenues for the story. The unresolved tensions surrounding the nature of his ability, the 'math' he uses, and the consequences of his actions (like the janitor's death and the girl with the violin) continue to propel the narrative forward. The scene's climax – Eli's realization that he's believed and feared – is a powerful hook.
Scene 29 - The Weight of Time
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene delivers a visceral and morally complex payoff for Eli's internal journey. The shift from his obsessive lists to decisive action, culminating in a deliberate intervention that results in a death, is incredibly compelling. The calculated nature of his choice, directly linked to the date he saw, creates immense suspense and raises immediate questions about his motives and the consequences of his 'math.' The visual of the date fading and the confirmation that the girlfriend's fate is unchanged solidifies the disturbing 'success' of his plan, making the reader desperate to understand what he will do next.
The script has built significant momentum. Eli's confession to Ms. Harper and her reaction have validated his ability and introduced a crucial ally (or potential antagonist). This scene escalates his actions from passive observation and internal struggle to active intervention, confirming the existence of the date-seeing ability and its devastating consequences (saving one life by orchestrating another's death). The stakes are now incredibly high, with Eli embracing a role that is both powerful and morally terrifying. The lingering questions about 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' and the 'math' work are at the forefront, driving the narrative forward intensely.
Scene 30 - A Fateful Warning
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling because it showcases Eli's 'math' in action with immediate, shocking consequences. The visual of the waitress's date shifting from 'Soon' to a distant future after the drunk's death provides a visceral and immediate payoff to the prior scene's confirmation of his actions. The ambiguity of Eli's reaction – 'Not joy. Validation' – creates a dark intrigue, making the reader desperately want to understand the implications of this dangerous validation and Eli's evolving moral compass. The abruptness of the drunk's death and the immediate supernatural shift are excellent hooks for continuing.
The script is maintaining a very high level of engagement. Scene 29 established Eli's dark purpose, and this scene, Scene 30, provides immediate, impactful evidence of his intervention. The pattern of death followed by a date change for another person is now clearly established as a core mechanic of Eli's 'gift.' This builds on the earlier mystery of his abilities and the moral implications raised by his father's death and the girl with the violin. The escalating stakes and the introduction of 'dangerous validation' in Eli suggest a significant character arc is underway, driving the reader to see how this unfolds.
Scene 31 - The Weight of Choice
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene significantly raises the stakes by pitting Eli directly against Ms. Harper, who is positioned as an authority figure who might be able to help or hinder him. Eli's unwavering certainty about his actions and Ms. Harper's growing unease create immediate tension. The visual of the date above Ms. Harper's head adds another layer of supernatural confirmation for Eli and potential danger for her. The scene ends on a strong, unresolved note as Eli asserts his moral justification for his choices, leaving the reader eager to see Ms. Harper's reaction and how this confrontation will play out.
The script maintains a very high continuation score. Eli's journey from a frightened boy burdened by his ability to a young man making morally complex, potentially devastating decisions is gripping. The introduction of Ms. Harper as a figure who believes him and offers both a warning and a challenge provides a new avenue for the narrative. The recurring theme of 'saving one life costs another' is at the forefront, and Eli's justifications are becoming increasingly chilling. The established mysteries surrounding the origin of his power and its ultimate purpose, along with the looming threat of his own date and Ms. Harper's fate, continue to drive the reader forward.
Scene 32 - A Moment of Doubt
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is a significant turning point, immediately compelling the reader to continue due to the introduction of doubt into Eli's established 'math.' The stakes are raised exponentially as Eli's predictive system, his entire foundation, begins to falter. The survival of the boy and the unexpected date change for the mother create a powerful 'what if?' scenario that demands an explanation. Eli's hesitation, a first since his father's death, is a potent character beat that signals a major shift in his understanding and purpose.
The screenplay has built a strong foundation of mystery and emotional weight around Eli's ability and his personal tragedies. The recurring theme of 'control' versus 'fate,' coupled with Eli's moral struggles, keeps the narrative compelling. The introduction of Ms. Harper as a believer and confidante, and the subsequent validation of Eli's actions (initially), have created a clear trajectory for Eli's active engagement with his power. The current scene's development—the 'math' evolving—introduces a fresh layer of uncertainty and mystery, ensuring the reader wants to see how Eli navigates this new challenge and what it means for the overarching plot.
Scene 33 - Fate at the Crosswalk
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene delivers a visceral punch, directly demonstrating the tragic consequences of Eli's inaction. The visual of the bus impact and the subsequent chaos, especially the vulnerable little girl being knocked down, creates immediate shock. The internal conflict of Eli's previous decision not to save the man, juxtaposed with the girl's unintended injury, raises the stakes significantly. The lingering question of the girl's fate, even though her date is far off, and the visual of her violin case skidding, strongly compels the reader to find out what happens to her and if Eli's 'math' truly holds or if his non-intervention has unforeseen ripple effects.
The screenplay has built significant momentum around Eli's struggle with his predictive ability and the moral implications of his actions. Scene 33 is a powerful culmination of his evolving 'math' and his attempts to rationalize intervention. The introduction of doubt in Scene 32 about his predictions, coupled with the devastating outcome for the girl here, deepens the central conflict. The audience is invested in understanding if Eli's 'calculations' are truly immutable, if his acceptance of 'fate' is flawed, and how this will impact his relationship with Ms. Harper and his own mental state. The unresolved fate of the girl and the implications of Eli's 'Don't save him' mantra create a strong desire to see the consequences.
Scene 34 - Inevitability at the Crosswalk
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to the immediate aftermath of a violent event and the devastating realization for Eli. The sudden absence of a date above the man's head and the 'TODAY' above the injured girl's, coupled with Eli's visceral reaction and his desperate, futile attempt to intervene, creates immense suspense and emotional weight. The unresolved nature of the girl's fate and Eli's forced removal leave the reader desperate to know if she survives, what this means for Eli, and how he will cope with this devastating consequence of his inaction.
The screenplay has been masterfully building towards this point of profound consequence for Eli. Scene 33's decision not to intervene in the man's death, followed by the brutal accident befalling the innocent girl, brings Eli's struggle with his powers and their moral implications to a critical peak. The audience is deeply invested in Eli's internal conflict and the devastating impact of his choices, making the resolution of the girl's situation and Eli's subsequent arc essential to continuing.
Scene 35 - Murder by Omission
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene powerfully shifts the emotional landscape for Eli, pushing him towards a profound and devastating realization about his inaction. The visual of the covered girl and the placed violin case is stark and immediately impactful. Eli's internal monologue, explicitly labeling his inaction as 'murder by omission' and acknowledging his guilt, directly confronts the reader with the weight of his choices. This internal reckoning, coupled with the overwhelming feeling that all lives are now unbearable, creates a strong desire to see how Eli will process this and what, if anything, he will do next. The scene ends on a note of profound guilt, leaving the reader wanting to know if this will break him or spur him to a new, perhaps darker, path.
The script has built significant momentum towards this climactic moment of Eli's realization. The previous scenes have meticulously established his ability, his attempts to intervene (and the consequences), and his growing internal conflict. Scene 34 showed his failed attempt to 'fix this,' and now scene 35 directly confronts him with the 'murder by omission,' solidifying his guilt. The overarching narrative has been about Eli's struggle with his power and the moral implications of knowing death dates. This scene serves as a critical turning point, where Eli can no longer deny his complicity. The unresolved tension of how he will cope with this profound guilt and whether it will change his approach to his abilities is a strong hook.
Scene 36 - Confronting Guilt
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is a powerful emotional release for Eli, marking a significant turning point. The visual of him crossing out 'ONE LIFE MUST MATTER MORE' and tearing the page, followed by his broken admission and his first tears since his father's death, is incredibly compelling. It provides a cathartic moment for the character after a string of difficult events and internal turmoil. This raw emotional vulnerability makes the reader want to see how Eli will rebuild himself after this breakdown and what his new perspective will be.
The script has been building immense tension around Eli's internal conflict and his evolving understanding of his ability. This scene, with its cathartic release of guilt and emotion, feels like a crucial consequence of the previous events. It directly addresses the burden of his inaction and sets him up for a new phase. The unresolved questions about how he will move forward and if he will find peace make the reader eager to continue.
Scene 37 - Eli's Epiphany
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene marks a significant emotional and philosophical turning point for Eli. After weeks of intense guilt, anguish, and an overwhelming burden of precognition, he finally reaches a place of acceptance and peace. The quiet introspection in the empty church, stripped of his usual analytical tools (notebooks, lists), allows for a profound epiphany. The dialogue is sparse but powerful, directly addressing the nature of his ability and his role in the unfolding of events. The imagery of flickering candles and faint, non-overwhelming dates reinforces this shift. The scene provides a sense of catharsis, but the reader will want to see how this newfound peace translates into his future actions, especially given his past interventions.
The script has been building towards this moment of resolution for Eli's internal conflict. His journey has been fraught with the weight of his visions, the guilt of inaction, and the moral complexities of his interventions. This scene provides a much-needed emotional catharsis, offering a sense of closure to his personal struggle. The reader is highly invested in seeing what Eli does next with this newfound peace, and whether it leads to a different kind of interaction with the world and its inevitable fates. The previous scenes have laid a strong foundation for this emotional breakthrough, making the reader eager to see its impact.
Scene 38 - A Costly Decision
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully builds on Eli's newfound peace and acceptance from the previous scene, immediately thrusting him back into a situation where his unique ability is needed. The stark contrast between the 'TODAY' death date for the woman and the distant future date for the boy creates immediate stakes. Eli's quiet understanding and resignation – knowing that saving her will cost him – is a powerful hook. The scene doesn't explicitly show him acting, but his opening his eyes with quiet determination signals his intent, making the reader eager to see the consequences of his choice.
The script has reached a crucial turning point where Eli has achieved a profound internal resolution. Scene 37 marked a significant character arc completion, and this scene immediately places him back in the action, showcasing his acceptance of his fate and his continued commitment to using his ability, even at personal sacrifice. This elevates the stakes considerably, as the narrative is now driving towards the ultimate consequence for Eli. The introduction of a new life-or-death situation, directly linked to his acceptance, ensures that the reader is invested in seeing how this plays out and what the ultimate outcome for Eli will be.
Scene 39 - A Race Against Time
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling because it brings Eli's arc to a pivotal, emotionally resonant moment. We see him acting not out of calculation or obligation, but pure instinct, a testament to his growth after his epiphany in the church. The immediate action of saving the woman, followed by the visual confirmation of the altered date and the boy's relief, provides a powerful payoff. The introduction of a date above Eli's own head is a massive cliffhanger, immediately posing the question of his fate and whether his selfless act has sealed it. This raises the stakes exponentially and makes the reader desperate to know what happens next.
The script has built significant momentum towards this point. Eli's journey from observer to reluctant participant, then to someone actively intervening despite the personal cost, has been meticulously crafted. His internal struggles and philosophical shifts in scenes 35-38 have laid the groundwork for this selfless act. The introduction of his own death date is the ultimate hook, promising a dramatic conclusion to his character arc and the overarching narrative of dealing with foreknowledge of death. The stakes are at their absolute highest.
Scene 40 - A Date with Freedom
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides an immensely satisfying conclusion to Eli's arc and the central premise of the story. The visual of the dates fading across the city, the liberation of Ms. Harper, and Eli's peaceful acceptance of his fate are powerful and emotionally resonant. The final image of the boy with the violin playing in a world free of the date-seeing burden offers a sense of hope and closure, compelling the reader to absorb the thematic resolution.
After 39 scenes of building tension, exploring complex ethical dilemmas, and developing Eli's character through immense personal sacrifice, this final scene provides a profound sense of catharsis and thematic closure. The culmination of Eli's journey from a burdened seer to a selfless sacrifice, and the subsequent liberation of humanity from the knowledge of their death dates, is a powerful and complete resolution. The story has consistently maintained a high level of engagement through its unique premise and emotional depth, making this final scene a perfect landing.
- Physical environment: The world is primarily set in familiar, contemporary or near-future Earth locations, including suburban neighborhoods, high schools, hospitals, urban streets, garages, and parks. These settings are depicted as ordinary and mundane, with elements like lawns, lockers, medical equipment, and traffic, creating a sense of normalcy. However, the surreal addition of floating dates above people's heads—indicating death dates or significant events—infuses these environments with an eerie, foreboding atmosphere, blending the everyday with the supernatural and evoking a constant undercurrent of mystery and unease.
- Culture: The culture revolves around themes of family bonds, grief, loss, and introspection, with a focus on human relationships and emotional struggles. Interactions highlight everyday routines, such as family meals, school life, and neighborly exchanges, but are deepened by the awareness of mortality. There is a strong emphasis on dealing with fate, moral dilemmas, and the human condition, as seen in moments of bargaining with higher powers, reflections on death, and the search for meaning, fostering a society that grapples with existential questions through personal and interpersonal dynamics.
- Society: Society is structured around standard institutions like families, schools, hospitals, and communities, with hierarchical elements evident in roles such as teachers, doctors, and parents. However, the visibility of floating death dates introduces a layer of predestination, influencing social interactions and decisions. This creates a world where individuals may face moral complexities, such as the value of life and the consequences of intervention, leading to a society that balances routine normalcy with underlying tensions of fate and accountability.
- Technology: Technology is mostly grounded in the present or near future, including medical equipment, cars, and everyday devices, but the central element is the supernatural or advanced technological phenomenon of floating dates above people's heads, which display death dates or events. This feature is not explicitly explained as technological but adds a futuristic or magical layer, suggesting a society where personal fate is visually accessible. Other tech elements, like monitors and ambulances, enhance realism but are secondary to the date display, which serves as a symbolic and narrative device.
- Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology profoundly shape the characters' experiences and actions. For Eli, the floating dates create a constant state of anxiety and obsession, driving him to isolate himself, attempt to alter fates, and grapple with moral dilemmas, as seen in his interventions and emotional breakdowns. This awareness influences his relationships, leading to strained family dynamics and a sense of helplessness. Other characters, like Mark and Ms. Harper, experience indirect effects through Eli's actions, highlighting how the world's elements amplify themes of loss and responsibility, forcing characters to confront their mortality and make choices that reflect deeper human struggles.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements significantly drive the narrative by providing a framework of suspense and conflict centered on the floating dates. They propel the plot through key events, such as Eli's discoveries, interventions, and realizations, creating tension and twists, like date shifts and unintended consequences. The blend of ordinary settings with surreal dates allows for a gradual build-up of mystery and emotional depth, facilitating character development and plot progression, ultimately leading to a climax where the removal of the dates symbolizes resolution and thematic closure.
- Thematic depth contribution: These world elements enrich the thematic depth by exploring fate versus free will, the burden of knowledge, and the illusion of control. The floating dates symbolize the inevitability of death, deepening themes of mortality and human connection, as characters navigate grief and moral choices. The cultural and societal aspects amplify introspection and emotional vulnerability, while the technology underscores the weight of foresight, contributing to a narrative that examines how awareness of death shapes life, relationships, and personal growth, ultimately conveying messages of acceptance, love, and the beauty of living without the shadow of predetermined endings.
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a sparse yet deeply evocative style. It manifests in dialogue that is often minimal, loaded with unspoken emotions, and pregnant with subtext. The narrative descriptions are concise, yet they create vivid imagery and a palpable atmosphere, often hinting at underlying mystery, introspection, and existential dread. The direction focuses on creating moments of quiet unease, building tension through subtle actions, pauses, and symbolic visual cues, such as floating dates. This approach lends the script a contemplative, melancholic, and sometimes haunting mood. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes significantly to the overall mood, themes, and depth of the script. It establishes a pervasive sense of introspection and existential questioning, particularly concerning time, mortality, and the burden of knowledge. The sparse dialogue and atmospheric descriptions enhance the themes of isolation, emotional turmoil, and the weight of fate. By focusing on internal struggles and the subtle nuances of character interaction, the voice adds a layer of psychological depth, making the characters' predicaments feel more profound and relatable despite the supernatural element. |
| Best Representation Scene | 7 - A Cold Touch |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 7 best showcases the author's unique voice because it perfectly blends sparse dialogue ('Mom?'), impactful visual descriptions (flickering date, cold hand), and a focus on internal emotional turmoil. The writer uses silence and subtle cues (unanswered calls, whispered questions) to convey deep emotions like fear and uncertainty, creating a haunting and introspective mood that is central to the script's themes of loss and the unknown. |
Style and Similarities
The script exhibits a highly introspective and often surreal writing style, characterized by a deep exploration of existential themes, psychological depth, and unconventional narrative structures. There's a strong emphasis on character-driven narratives, often featuring protagonists grappling with complex internal conflicts and philosophical questions. The dialogue, while sometimes sparse, is impactful and serves to reveal underlying emotional truths and thematic concerns. The blend of the mundane with the extraordinary, and the creation of atmospheric tension, are also key elements.
Style Similarities:
| Writer | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Charlie Kaufman | Kaufman's influence is pervasive throughout the analyses. His signature blend of surrealism, existential introspection, complex character studies, and unique narrative structures appears in a significant number of scenes. The focus on internal struggles, philosophical dialogue, and the exploration of deeply human emotions and dilemmas directly aligns with his established style. |
| Christopher Nolan | Nolan's presence is also strongly felt, particularly in scenes that lean towards suspenseful narratives, complex moral dilemmas, nonlinear storytelling, and philosophical exploration. The way the script grapples with themes of perception, reality, fate, and memory, often through visually striking and thought-provoking scenarios, is a testament to this influence. |
| Denis Villeneuve | Villeneuve's stylistic contributions are evident in the script's ability to evoke atmospheric tension, create a sense of mystery and unease, and deliver emotionally resonant scenes through visual storytelling and minimalistic dialogue. The exploration of moral ambiguity and psychological depth within speculative or intense settings aligns with his directorial approach. |
Other Similarities: The script demonstrates a sophisticated approach to storytelling, successfully weaving together introspective character journeys with thought-provoking thematic explorations. While the influences of Kaufman, Nolan, and Villeneuve are prominent, the script manages to forge its own unique voice by integrating these elements into a cohesive and compelling narrative tapestry. There's a clear intention to challenge the audience, prompting contemplation on the human condition and the nature of reality.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Progressive Emotional Build-Up | The emotional impact scores increase gradually across scenes, starting from moderate levels (e.g., scene 1-8 averaging around 8-9) and peaking in later scenes (e.g., scenes 25-40 often scoring 10), correlating with tones shifting from 'Mysterious' and 'Tense' to more 'Emotional' and 'Reflective'. This suggests the author has crafted a strong emotional arc that builds tension and depth, but the low conflict in the final scene (score 2) indicates a potential over-reliance on internal resolution, which might leave some readers wanting more external closure. |
| Tone and Conflict Inverse Relationship | Scenes with introspective or reflective tones (e.g., scenes 13, 23, 37 with tones like 'Reflective' or 'Introspective') tend to have lower conflict scores (averaging 6-7) despite high emotional impact (often 9-10). This pattern shows that the author's strength in creating emotionally charged, internal moments comes at the cost of external tension, which could be an unconscious habit that dilutes pacing in quieter sections; introducing subtle external conflicts might enhance overall engagement. |
| High Stakes and Story Momentum Correlation | There is a strong positive correlation between high stakes scores and the ability to move the story forward, with scenes scoring 8-10 in high stakes (e.g., scenes 4, 21, 31) also having high 'Move Story Forward' scores (8-10), while lower stakes scenes (e.g., scene 23 with score 5) show reduced story progression (score 6). This highlights the author's effective use of stakes to drive narrative, but the sharp drop in high stakes in the ending (scene 40 score 3) might indicate an unintended weakening of plot drive, suggesting a need for maintaining stakes through the conclusion. |
| Dialogue Weakness in Multi-Tone Scenes | In scenes with multiple tone descriptors (e.g., scene 9 with 'Shocking, Hollow, Terrified, Contemplative' and dialogue score 7; scene 23 with 'Emotional, Intimate, Reflective' and dialogue score 7), dialogue scores are lower compared to scenes with fewer tones, averaging 8-9 elsewhere. This subtle pattern suggests that the author's complex emotional layering might overwhelm dialogue clarity, leading to less impactful exchanges; focusing on simplifying dialogue in such scenes could improve character expression and reveal hidden inconsistencies in emotional delivery. |
| Character Changes Tied to Emotional Depth | Character changes scores consistently correlate with emotional impact, with high scores in both categories in emotionally intense scenes (e.g., scenes 25, 31, 36 both at 9-10), but this correlation weakens in purely reflective tones (e.g., scene 37 with character changes 8 and emotional impact 10). This indicates the author's proficiency in using emotion to facilitate character growth, yet it may mask opportunities for change driven by plot or conflict, potentially making character arcs feel more reactive than proactive. |
| Underemphasized Conflict in Early vs. Late Scenes | Conflict scores are generally stable but dip more frequently in mid-script introspective scenes (e.g., scenes 12-18 averaging conflict score 7-8) compared to the high-tension opening and closing (e.g., scenes 1-5 and 31-40 averaging 8-10). This could reflect an unintentional lull in the middle, where the author's focus on emotional and mysterious tones reduces conflict, possibly indicating a structural pattern that the author might not notice, which could be addressed by injecting more conflict to maintain momentum. |
| Fatalistic Tones and High Emotional Peaks | Scenes with 'Fatalistic' in the tone (e.g., scenes 26, 29, 30) consistently achieve perfect or near-perfect emotional impact scores (10), correlating with high character and plot grades, but often pair with moderate stakes and conflict (e.g., scene 26 conflict 8). This reveals the author's strength in evoking deep emotional responses through themes of inevitability, but it might subtly limit narrative variety; the author could explore contrasting tones to add surprise and prevent the story from feeling predetermined. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of emotional storytelling, character dynamics, and thematic depth. The writer effectively uses dialogue and imagery to convey complex emotions and internal conflicts. However, there are opportunities to enhance character development, pacing, and the use of subtext in dialogue. Overall, the scenes are engaging and thought-provoking, showcasing the writer's potential.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Book | Read 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' screenplay by Charlie Kaufman. | This screenplay exemplifies how to blend emotional depth with narrative complexity, providing insights into character introspection and the use of subtext. |
| Book | Read 'Save the Cat' by Blake Snyder. | This book offers valuable insights into crafting compelling characters and structuring engaging narratives, which can enhance the writer's overall craft. |
| Exercise | Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes that focus on subtext and character motivations.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will help refine the writer's ability to convey complex emotions and conflicts through dialogue, enhancing the authenticity of character interactions. |
| Exercise | Write character monologues exploring their internal struggles and philosophical reflections.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will deepen character development and enhance the emotional resonance of the narrative by allowing characters to express their inner thoughts. |
| Exercise | Experiment with writing scenes that utilize minimal dialogue to convey emotions through actions and visual storytelling.Practice In SceneProv | This practice will sharpen the writer's skills in creating impactful moments that rely on visual cues and subtext rather than explicit dialogue. |
| Video | Watch analysis videos on pacing and emotional storytelling in screenwriting. | Understanding pacing and emotional beats will enhance the effectiveness of conveying tension and depth in scenes. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The Burden of Knowledge | Eli possesses the ability to see the dates of people's deaths, which weighs heavily on him as he grapples with the implications of this knowledge. | This trope involves a character who knows something that others do not, often leading to emotional turmoil or moral dilemmas. A classic example is in 'The Sixth Sense,' where the protagonist can see dead people, leading to significant emotional and psychological consequences. |
| Time is a Flat Circle | The dates above people's heads suggest a cyclical nature of time and fate, where events are predetermined. | This trope suggests that time is not linear but rather cyclical, often leading characters to confront their fates repeatedly. An example can be found in 'Groundhog Day,' where the protagonist relives the same day until he learns important life lessons. |
| Eli feels a sense of responsibility to save others based on his unique ability to see death dates. | This trope involves a character who is singled out for a special destiny or power, often leading to a burden of responsibility. An example is Neo in 'The Matrix,' who is chosen to save humanity from machines. | |
| Eli's love for his father drives his actions and decisions throughout the story. | This trope emphasizes that love can motivate characters to take significant risks or make sacrifices. A well-known example is in 'Titanic,' where Jack sacrifices himself for Rose's safety. | |
| Ms. Harper serves as a mentor figure, guiding Eli as he navigates his abilities and the consequences of his actions. | This trope involves a wise character who provides guidance and support to the protagonist. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid,' who teaches Daniel not just martial arts but also life lessons. | |
| Eli often experiences emotional paralysis, unable to act in critical moments due to his overwhelming feelings. | This trope depicts characters who are so overwhelmed by their emotions that they cannot act. An example is in 'Atonement,' where Briony is paralyzed by guilt and regret, leading to tragic consequences. | |
| Eli's past, including the loss of his mother, shapes his character and motivations. | This trope involves a character whose past traumas influence their present actions and decisions. An example is Batman, whose parents' murder drives him to become a vigilante. | |
| Eli's interventions often lead to last-minute saves, but they come with unforeseen consequences. | This trope involves a character saving another at the last moment, often leading to dramatic tension. An example is in 'The Avengers,' where Iron Man saves New York City just in time. | |
| Eli's attempts to control fate through his actions ultimately lead to the realization that he cannot. | This trope explores the theme that characters often believe they can control their destinies, only to find out they cannot. An example is in 'Final Destination,' where characters try to cheat death but ultimately fail. |
Memorable lines in the script:
Logline Analysis
Top Performing Loglines
Creative Executive's Take
This logline stands out as the strongest due to its sharp, evocative hook that immediately immerses the reader in a high-concept world where death dates float invisibly above heads, perfectly capturing the script's supernatural element as seen in scenes like the opening jogger sequence and Eli's constant awareness of these dates. Factually, it accurately reflects Eli's evolution from a grieving boy to a self-appointed arbiter, supported by his interventions in scenes 29-34, and the brutal truth of control being an illusion is mirrored in the climactic acceptance in scenes 37-40. Commercially, its appeal lies in the universal theme of mortality combined with a thriller-like edge, making it highly marketable to studios seeking emotionally charged dramas with a twist, akin to films like 'The Adjustment Bureau' or 'Mr. Nobody', ensuring it hooks executives with its concise blend of personal stakes and existential dread.
Strengths
This logline excellently balances the protagonist's journey with high stakes and a intriguing twist, effectively hooking the reader with the supernatural element and resolution.
Weaknesses
It slightly overemphasizes the 'city-wide mystery' aspect, which could imply a broader conspiracy not fully central in the script, and the 'innocent child's death' is accurate but might benefit from more specificity to avoid genericism.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The combination of supernatural ability, moral choice, and a mysterious resolution creates a compelling hook. | "The script's ending with dates vanishing across the city mirrors the logline's tease, making it highly engaging." |
| Stakes | 10 | High personal and moral stakes are conveyed through the choice between playing god and acceptance, with the mystery adding layers. | "The script shows consequences like death shifts (e.g., janitor's date change) and Eli's emotional breakdown, culminating in the dates vanishing as a resolution." |
| Brevity | 9 | At 22 words, it's concise but could be tighter; the dash helps separate ideas without excess. | "The logline efficiently covers key elements, aligning with the script's focused story on Eli's personal journey." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is clear in describing the ability, actions, and turning point, though the dash might slightly disrupt flow. | "The script's events, like Eli seeing dates and intervening (e.g., saving the girl in class), align with the logline's depiction of saving lives." |
| Conflict | 9 | Internal and external conflicts are well-represented, including moral dilemmas and the unfolding mystery. | "Conflicts in the script, such as Eli's guilt over the violin girl's death and his confrontations (e.g., with Ms. Harper), support the logline's narrative." |
| Protagonist goal | 10 | It explicitly states the goal of saving lives and the choice forced upon him, tying directly to his character arc. | "Eli's goal is evident in scenes where he saves people, such as intervening in the hospital or with the waitress, and the child's death (violin girl) is a pivotal moment of realization." |
| Factual alignment | 9 | It accurately reflects the script's events, including the ability, interventions, and resolution, though the 'city-wide mystery' is somewhat interpretive. | "The script details Eli's actions leading to date changes and the final vanishing, with the child's death being a direct reference to the violin girl incident." |
Creative Executive's Take
Ranking second, this logline effectively weaves in the story's key twist—the vanishing of death dates—directly supported by the script's finale in scene 40, where Eli's selfless act erases the dates city-wide, symbolizing freedom from foreknowledge. It remains factually accurate by highlighting Eli's journey from protector to confronting tragedy, as evidenced in the girl's death in scenes 33-35, and his ultimate choice between playing god and accepting mortality. From a commercial standpoint, it amps up marketability by adding a layer of mystery and resolution that broadens the scope beyond personal drama, appealing to audiences who enjoy speculative fiction with redemptive arcs, similar to 'The Sixth Sense' or 'Arrival', and its inclusion of an innocent child's death as a pivotal moment creates emotional urgency that could drive word-of-mouth buzz in festivals or streaming platforms.
Strengths
It accurately specifies the protagonist's age and starts with a personal inciting incident, effectively building to a thematic climax.
Weaknesses
The phrasing is a bit formal and could be more engaging, and it doesn't reference the story's resolution or broader implications like the dates vanishing.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 8 | The personal angle of failing to save his father is compelling, but it lacks a broader hook like the world premise. | "The script's intimate focus on Eli's family loss hooks the story, but the logline could benefit from emphasizing the supernatural element more." |
| Stakes | 9 | Moral and personal stakes are high, with the shift of death emphasizing consequences. | "The script shows Eli's failures and successes, like the violin girl's death and the woman's survival in the hospital, illustrating the costs." |
| Brevity | 8 | At 28 words, it's concise but slightly wordy in phrasing, which could be streamlined. | "The logline covers essential points efficiently, mirroring the script's detailed but focused narrative." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is clear and logical, with a strong cause-and-effect structure. | "The script's early scenes focus on Eli's guilt over his father's death, which is directly referenced in the logline." |
| Conflict | 9 | It highlights internal conflict and the ethical dilemmas involved. | "Eli's wrestles with guilt and morality are evident in scenes like his confession to Ms. Harper and his emotional breakdown." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | It defines the goal of fixing fate and the decision he must make, tying to his emotional journey. | "Eli's attempts to prevent deaths, such as warning his father and intervening in various scenes, align with the logline's depiction." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It precisely matches the script's events, including age, father's death, and death shifts, with strong thematic accuracy. | "The script confirms Eli's age, his guilt (e.g., scenes 21-25), and the mechanism of death transfer (e.g., scene 5, scene 29)." |
Creative Executive's Take
As the third-best choice, this logline offers a comprehensive yet concise summary that faithfully captures the core conflict and theme, with every element—such as Eli's ability to see death dates and the cost of saving lives—directly corroborated by the script, from the initial discovery in scene 6 to the moral reckoning in scenes 32-36. It accurately portrays the shift from attempting control to learning acceptance, culminating in Eli's peaceful end. Commercially, its strength lies in its thematic depth and relatable protagonist arc, positioning it as a crowd-pleaser in the YA supernatural genre, comparable to 'About Time' or 'The Fault in Our Stars', with a hook that emphasizes emotional growth and high stakes, making it ideal for adaptation into a feature film or series that resonates with themes of loss and humanity.
Strengths
It provides a clear progression of the protagonist's discovery and arc, emphasizing the central theme of mortality and the consequences of his actions.
Weaknesses
The logline is longer than ideal, which might reduce its punchiness, and it doesn't mention the resolution where dates vanish, potentially missing a key hook.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 8 | The discovery premise is intriguing, but the length dilutes the initial impact compared to shorter loglines. | "The script's supernatural element is hooked early, but the logline doesn't tease the vanishing dates, a major plot point." |
| Stakes | 9 | It conveys high emotional and moral stakes through the cost of saving lives, building tension effectively. | "The script illustrates death shifts, such as the janitor's date change and the violin girl's death, supporting the 'cost' aspect." |
| Brevity | 7 | At 32 words, it's longer than typical loglines, which can make it less snappy and harder to remember. | "While comprehensive, the logline could be condensed without losing essence, as seen in the script's concise scene descriptions." |
| Clarity | 8 | While detailed, the logline is slightly wordy, making it less immediate, but still comprehensible. | "The script's opening scenes establish Eli's ability, and the logline mirrors this with the discovery element." |
| Conflict | 9 | Internal conflict between control and acceptance is strong, though external conflicts could be more prominent. | "Eli's moral struggles, seen in his conversations with his father and Ms. Harper, reflect the choice depicted in the logline." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | The goal of saving lives and learning acceptance is explicitly stated, showing character development. | "Eli's attempts to save people, like in the classroom or hospital scenes, and his eventual acceptance in the church scene align with the logline." |
| Factual alignment | 9 | It accurately captures the ability, the cost of interventions, and the theme of acceptance, though it omits the resolution. | "Key events like Eli learning about death shifts (e.g., in scene 5 with the janitor) and his epiphany (scene 37) are well-represented." |
Creative Executive's Take
Fourth in the ranking, this logline is factually precise in focusing on Eli's guilt following his father's death, as depicted in scenes 25-26 and his subsequent struggles, and it correctly frames the dilemma of choosing between control and acceptance, seen in his evolving doctrine in scenes 14 and 29-36. While slightly more personal than some others, it remains supported by the script's emphasis on emotional turmoil. Commercially, it appeals through its intimate character study, drawing parallels to coming-of-age stories like 'Donnie Darko', with a strong moral question that could attract indie audiences and awards circuits, though it might lack the broader hook of top selections, potentially limiting its mass-market appeal compared to those with more universal or mysterious elements.
Strengths
This logline effectively establishes a high-concept premise and the protagonist's arc, drawing immediate interest with its supernatural element and theme of control.
Weaknesses
It inaccurately refers to the protagonist as a 'boy' when the script depicts him as a 16-year-old teen, which could mislead audiences about his age and maturity, and it lacks specificity on key events like the father's death or the dates vanishing.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 9 | The unique premise of visible death dates grabs attention and sets up intrigue about the protagonist's journey. | "The script's opening scenes with dates floating above heads create a mysterious hook, mirrored in the logline's world-building." |
| Stakes | 9 | The stakes are high with the illusion of control leading to moral consequences, capturing the emotional and existential risks. | "The script depicts Eli's actions causing death shifts, such as the janitor's date changing after saving the girl, emphasizing the brutal truth mentioned in the logline." |
| Brevity | 10 | At only 15 words, it's concise and efficient, avoiding unnecessary details while conveying the core idea. | "The logline's brevity aligns with standard logline practices, making it punchy and easy to pitch." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is straightforward and easy to understand, clearly describing the world and the protagonist's role. | "The script summary shows Eli seeing dates above heads from a young age, which aligns with the logline's description of the phenomenon." |
| Conflict | 8 | Internal conflict is highlighted, but external conflicts like specific interventions are underrepresented. | "Eli's struggles, such as the violin girl's unintended death, show moral dilemmas, but the logline doesn't reference key conflicts like his confrontations or the city-wide date vanishing." |
| Protagonist goal | 8 | It implies the goal of becoming an arbiter and learning about control, but it's vague on initial motivations tied to grief. | "In the script, Eli's goal evolves from personal loss (e.g., his mother's and father's deaths) to intervening in others' fates, as seen in scenes like him saving the girl in class or the woman in the hospital." |
| Factual alignment | 7 | It accurately captures the main theme and ability, but the term 'boy' misaligns with the script's portrayal of a 16-year-old, and it omits the resolution where dates vanish. | "The script confirms Eli's age and the date-vanishing ending, but the logline's description fits the core ability and arc of learning control is an illusion." |
Creative Executive's Take
Rounding out the top five, this logline accurately distills the central conflict of saving one life at the expense of another, directly referenced in multiple script scenes such as the janitor's date shift in scene 5 and the diner incident in scene 30, ensuring factual integrity without exaggeration. It captures Eli's moral choices effectively, aligning with his arc of impossible decisions. Commercially, while it has solid appeal in highlighting ethical dilemmas that could fit into thriller or drama categories, its straightforwardness might not be as dynamically engaging as higher-ranked loglines, resembling standard loglines for films like 'Final Destination' but without the same level of emotional or conceptual flair, making it less standout in a competitive market.
Strengths
It concisely captures the core mechanic of death transfer and the moral dilemma, making it easy to grasp the central conflict.
Weaknesses
It lacks depth on the protagonist's backstory and emotional arc, such as his grief and the resolution, which could make it feel somewhat one-dimensional.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 8 | The premise of transferring death is intriguing, but it lacks a strong emotional or world-building hook. | "The script's supernatural element is hooked through Eli's personal story, which the logline touches on but could emphasize more for impact." |
| Stakes | 9 | Moral stakes are effectively conveyed, with the transfer mechanism adding urgency. | "The script depicts consequences like the violin girl's death and Eli's realization of costs, aligning with the logline's theme." |
| Brevity | 10 | At 18 words, it's very concise and to the point, ideal for a logline. | "The brevity matches the script's efficient storytelling, allowing for quick understanding without fluff." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is direct and unambiguous, clearly stating the ability and its consequences. | "The script's events, like the date changes in various scenes, support the logline's description of death transfers." |
| Conflict | 8 | It focuses on moral conflicts but could elaborate on internal vs. external struggles. | "Eli's dilemmas, seen in his interactions and decisions (e.g., scene 31 with Ms. Harper), are captured, but the logline simplifies the broader arc." |
| Protagonist goal | 8 | The goal is implied through confrontation of choices, but it's not as explicitly defined as in other loglines. | "Eli's interventions, such as in the diner or hospital, show his goal to save lives, but the logline doesn't reference his personal motivations like grief." |
| Factual alignment | 8 | It accurately describes the death transfer mechanic and moral choices, but omits key elements like the origin of the ability and resolution. | "The script confirms the transfer in multiple scenes (e.g., scene 15 with the shopper, scene 39 with the woman), but doesn't detail Eli's full arc as in the logline." |
Other Loglines
- After a boy who has carried the secret of floating death-dates his whole life loses his father, his doctrine 'one life must matter more' collapses — and he must face the brutal lesson that seeing the end doesn't mean he can alter the meaning of a life.
- When numbers hang above strangers' heads marking their final day, a loner teen becomes an accidental arbiter of life and death. The more he intervenes, the greater the price — and his mission to protect becomes a test of what it means to be human.
- A teenager cursed with visions of death dates above people's heads desperately tries to save his dying father, only to discover that cheating fate comes at the cost of another life.
- Haunted by the inevitable death of his father, 16-year-old Eli uses his supernatural sight to rewrite destinies, but each victory unleashes a chain of unintended tragedies.
- After losing his mother to the curse of seeing end dates, Eli races against time to alter his father's fate, unraveling the moral paradox that salvation demands sacrifice.
- Eli's ability to see when people die turns him from protector to predator as he manipulates fates to spare the innocent, culminating in a selfless act that frees the world from foreknowledge.
- A grieving teenager who can see the exact date of everyone's death must confront the devastating consequences of his attempts to alter fate when his power leads to unintended tragedy.
- When a young man discovers he can manipulate the visible countdowns to death, he grapples with immense guilt and the impossible choices that arise from playing God.
- In a world where death dates are visible to a select few, a troubled teen's desperate efforts to save his loved ones unravel a moral and existential nightmare.
- A boy haunted by his mother's death gains the power to see and change when people die, forcing him to reckon with the true cost of control and the nature of sacrifice.
- After witnessing his father's death despite his extraordinary ability, a teen must find peace with his power and learn to live without the illusion of control.
- A teenage boy with the ability to see the dates of people's deaths struggles to reconcile his power with his desire to save those he loves, leading him down a dark path of ethical dilemmas and unintended consequences.
- In a world where people's death dates float above their heads, a young man with this ability must grapple with the moral implications of using it to try and save lives, even as he faces the harsh reality that his actions may only shift the burden of death to others.
- A high school student with the supernatural ability to see when people will die must decide whether to use his power to intervene and save lives, or accept the limitations of his knowledge and the inevitability of fate.
- When a teenager discovers he can see the dates of people's deaths, he is forced to confront the ethical and emotional challenges of trying to alter the course of fate, leading him on a journey of self-discovery and the true meaning of control.
- A coming-of-age drama about a young man who can see the expiration dates above people's heads, and his struggle to reconcile his desire to save lives with the realization that his actions may only shift the burden of death to others.
- After years of silently watching death dates float above everyone's heads, a grieving teen intervenes to save a life—only to learn that every rescue comes with a deadly price tag.
- Burdened with the ability to see when people will die, a lonely high school student must decide whether to use his power to play God or accept that some fates cannot be changed.
- When a teenager's attempt to prevent his father's predicted death fails, he embarks on a dangerous journey to understand the rules of his supernatural gift—and who gets to decide who lives and dies.
- In a world where he alone can see the dates of people's deaths, a young man discovers that every life he saves costs another, forcing him to question whether knowledge is a gift or a curse.
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Scene by Scene Emotions
suspense Analysis
Executive Summary
Suspense is masterfully woven into 'End Date' through the pervasive mystery of the floating dates, Eli's unique perception, and the constant dread of predetermined fates. The narrative excels at building anticipation through Eli's internal struggles and his increasingly desperate attempts to intervene, making the audience question the nature of his power and the inevitable outcomes.
Usage Analysis
Critique
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Questions for AI
fear Analysis
Executive Summary
Fear in 'End Date' is multifaceted, ranging from Eli's profound, existential terror of his power and its consequences to the visceral fear of impending death for his loved ones. The script effectively uses this emotion to drive Eli's character arc, explore thematic depth, and create a palpable sense of dread for the audience.
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joy Analysis
Executive Summary
Joy in 'End Date' is rare and almost always bittersweet or fleeting, serving as a stark contrast to the pervasive dread and sadness. When moments of connection or relief do occur, they are deeply impactful precisely because of their scarcity and the surrounding emotional weight.
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Critique
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sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is a pervasive and fundamental emotion in 'End Date,' manifesting as profound grief, lingering melancholy, and a deep sense of loss. The script uses sadness to explore the weight of mortality, the pain of inevitable farewells, and the enduring impact of love in the face of death.
Usage Analysis
Critique
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surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise in 'End Date' is primarily employed through unexpected plot twists, the revelation of the supernatural rules, and character actions that defy prior expectations. These surprises often serve to shock the audience, shift the narrative's direction, and deepen the exploration of the script's themes.
Usage Analysis
Critique
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empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a cornerstone of 'End Date,' primarily evoked through Eli's profound suffering, his isolation, and his desperate attempts to navigate an unfathomable burden. The script masterfully elicits empathy by making his internal struggles and his tragic choices relatable and deeply felt by the audience.
Usage Analysis
Critique
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sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is the dominant emotional thread in 'End Date,' woven through profound grief, lingering melancholy, and the tragic weight of inevitable loss. The script masterfully uses sadness to explore the human condition, the impact of mortality, and the enduring power of love in the face of death.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise in 'End Date' is primarily employed through unexpected plot twists, the revelation of the supernatural rules, and character actions that defy prior expectations. These surprises often serve to shock the audience, shift the narrative's direction, and deepen the exploration of the script's themes.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a cornerstone of 'End Date,' primarily evoked through Eli's profound suffering, his isolation, and his desperate attempts to navigate an unfathomable burden. The script masterfully elicits empathy by making his internal struggles and his tragic choices relatable and deeply felt by the audience.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI