Inception

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Science, Fiction, action, Sci-Fi, mystery, crime, romance, psychological, Adventure

Summary "Inception" is a thrilling movie that follows skilled thief Cobb and his team of specialists as they embark on a dangerous mission to perform an inception, planting an idea in someone's subconscious. As they delve deeper into the dream world, they encounter unexpected challenges and double-crossings. Along the way, Cobb must also confront his past and guilt about the loss of his family. In the end, the team completes their mission, and Cobb chooses to confront his inner conflicts and reunite with his family.

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Scene Strengths Overall strengths include the establishment of mystery and tension, visually stunning locations, well-defined and complex characters, intense action and conflict, engaging dialogue, intriguing and thought-provoking concepts, emotional depth and character development, and a satisfying resolution to the plot. The film also utilizes good pacing and multiple levels of dreams to add complexity to the storyline, as well as intercutting between different locations to build tension. The use of the totem and spinning top as symbols adds to the storytelling device.

Scene Weaknesses Overall weaknesses include: lack of character development, limited action, heavy exposition, some dialogue feeling clunky or cliched, confusion due to jumping between locations or timeframes, unclear character motivations, slow pacing, lack of emotional impact, and difficulty understanding technical concepts or plot points. Viewers may also find certain scenes generic, uninteresting, or overwhelming in terms of emotional or action content.

Suggestions

Note: This is the synthesis. See scene by scene analysis here

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Concept	8.4	94	Suits: 8.3	Inception: 8.4
Overall	8.5	80	Thor: 8.4	Inception: 8.5
Dialogue	8.0	72	Silence of the lambs: 7.9	Inception: 8.0
Conflict Level	8.1	71	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.0	Inception: 8.1
Plot	8.3	71	Mr Robot: 8.2	Inception: 8.3
Emotional Impact	7.5	56	Deadpool: 7.4	Inception: 7.5
Characters	8.2	51	Mr Robot: 8.1	heathers : 8.2

Read script alongside scene Analyses See all Scenes

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

				Story Content		Character Development		Scene Elements			Audience Engagement
Scene Number	Full Analysis	Tone	Overall Grade	Concept	Plot	Characters	Character Changes	Conflict	High stakes	Story forward	Emotional Impact	Dialogue
1	Inception		8	9	8	7	0	5	0	0	6	7
2	The Extraction Pitch		8	9	8	9	0	7	0	0	6	8
3	The Heist Begins		9	8	9	9	0	9	0	0	7	7
4	The Heist Goes Wrong		9	8	9	9	0	10	0	0	8	8
5	Audition		9	8	9	9	0	9	0	0	7	8
6	The Dream Heist Part 2		8	9	8	8	0	9	0	0	7	7
7	Phone Call Home		8	9	8	7	0	7	0	0	9	8
8	Offer and Choice		9	10	9	8	0	9	0	0	8	8
9	Going Deeper		8	9	7	8	0	6	0	0	7	9
10	The Architect's Offer		10	9	8	9	0	7	0	0	8	10
11	The Job Offer		8	9	8	7	0	7	0	0	6	7
12	Shared dreaming lesson		9	8	8	7	0	10	0	0	7	8
13	Exploring Dream Architecture		8	9	8	7	0	9	0	0	8	8
14	The Importance of a Totem		9	8	9	8	0	7	0	0	6	9
15	Showdown at the Gambling Den		9	8	9	8	0	7	0	0	6	9
16	Escape from Mombasa		9	8	9	8	0	10	0	0	6	9
17	Paradoxical Architecture		8	9	8	8	0	7	0	0	7	7
18	Corporate Espionage		8	7	8	8	0	6	0	0	7	9
19	Meeting with Yusuf		8	9	8	7	0	7	0	0	6	8
20	Dreamers' Reality		9	9	9	9	0	6	0	0	8	9
21	Cobb's Secrets		8	7	8	9	0	6	0	0	9	8
22	Planting the Idea		10	9	9	8	0	7	0	0	9	9
23	Power Struggle and Dream Planning		8	9	7	8	0	6	0	0	8	7
24	Planning the Dream Heist		9	8	9	8	0	7	0	0	6	8
25	Dreams and Regrets		8	9	8	8	0	6	0	0	9	8
26	The Promise		9	9	10	10	0	10	0	0	10	9
27	The Inception Job - Part 3		9	8	7	9	0	8	0	0	8	8
28	Escape in a Cab		9	9	9	8	0	10	0	0	7	8
29	The Plan Goes Wrong		8	9	8	7	0	10	0	0	7	8
30	The Heist		9	8	9	9	0	9	0	0	7	8
31	Finding the Combination		8	7	8	9	0	7	0	0	9	8
32	The Truth About Limbo		9	8	9	9	0	8	0	0	10	9
33	Mal and Cobb's Tragic Love Story		9	8	9	9	0	10	0	0	11	8
34	Confrontation and Revelation		8	9	8	8	0	9	0	0	8	9
35	Planning the Next Step		9	8	9	8	0	7	0	0	7	9
36	Subconscious Security		8	7	8	9	0	8	0	0	7	7
37	Protecting Fischer		8	9	8	7	0	10	0	0	6	7
38	Hotel Escape and Explosive Plan		9	10	9	8	0	8	0	0	6	8
39	Mistaking Browning for Eames		9	8	9	8	0	7	0	0	6	8
40	Breaking into Fischer's Subconscious		8	9	8	7	0	9	0	0	8	7
41	Mission Briefing		8	7	8	7	0	9	0	0	6	7
42	Race Against Time		8	7	8	7	0	9	0	0	5	6
43	The Kick		8	7	8	8	0	9	0	0	6	7
44	The Trap		9	8	8	9	0	9	0	0	8	7
45	The Plan to Save Fischer		8	9	7	8	0	9	0	0	6	8
46	Creating a Failed Utopia		8	9	7	9	0	6	0	0	8	8
47	Choosing Reality		8	9	8	9	0	10	0	0	9	8
48	The Consequence of Cobb's Inception		7	8	7	8	0	9	0	0	8	7
49	Final Showdown		9	8	9	9	0	10	0	0	9	8
50	Final Confrontations		8	9	8	8	0	9	0	0	10	7
51	The End of an Epic Journey		10	9	10	10	0	7	0	0	10	9

Scene 1 - Inception

INCEPTION

By

Christopher Nolan

SHOOTING SCRIPT
FADE IN:

DAWN. CRASHING SURF.

The waves TOSS a BEARDED MAN onto wet sand. He lies there.

A CHILD’S SHOUT makes him LIFT his head to see: a LITTLE
BLONDE BOY crouching, back towards us, watching the tide eat
a SANDCASTLE. A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL joins the boy. The Bearded
Man tries to call them, but they RUN OFF, FACES UNSEEN. He
COLLAPSES.

The barrel of a rifle ROLLS the Bearded Man onto his back. A
JAPANESE SECURITY GUARD looks down at him, then calls up the
beach to a colleague leaning against a JEEP. Behind them is a
cliff, and on top of that, a JAPANESE CASTLE.

INT. ELEGANT DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - LATER

The Security Guard waits as an ATTENDANT speaks to an ELDERLY
JAPANESE MAN sitting at the dining table, back to us.

ATTENDANT
(in Japanese)
He was delirious. But he asked for
you by name. And...
(to the Security Guard)
Show him.

SECURITY GUARD
(in Japanese)
He was carrying nothing but this...

He puts a HANDGUN on the table. The Elderly Man keeps eating.

SECURITY GUARD
...and this.

The Security Guard places a SMALL PEWTER CONE alongside the
gun. The Elderly Man STOPS eating. Picks up the cone.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in Japanese)
Bring him here. And some food.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

The Elderly Man watches the Bearded Man WOLF down his food.
He SLIDES the handgun down the table towards him.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
(in English)
Are you here to kill me?

The Bearded Man glances up at him, then back to his food.
2.

The Elderly Japanese Man picks up the cone between thumb and
forefinger.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I know what this is.

He SPINS it onto a table- it CIRCLES gracefully across the
polished ebony... a SPINNING TOP.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
I’ve seen one before. Many, many
years ago...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES at the top mesmerized.

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
It belonged to a man I met in a
half-remembered dream...

MOVE IN on the GRACEFULLY SPINNING TOP...

ELDERLY JAPANESE MAN
A man possessed of some radical
notions...

The Elderly Japanese Man STARES, remembering...

COBB (V.O.)
What’s the most resilient parasite?

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary A bearded man washes up on the shore and is taken to an elderly Japanese man in a castle. The man shows the bearded man a spinning top and mentions a dream in which he met a man with radical notions. The scene ends with a voiceover asking a question about resilient parasites.

Strengths "Establishes a sense of mystery and intrigue, introduces the concept of the spinning top which is an important plot point, starts the film with action and a visually stunning location."

Weaknesses "The characters aren't fully developed yet and the conflict and emotional impact are relatively low."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well written and intriguing. The action and dialogue are concise and keep the viewer engaged. However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made.

First, the introduction of the little blonde boy and girl seems a bit extraneous. While they add to the atmosphere and mystery of the scene, they don't serve much purpose beyond that. If they were removed, the scene would still flow and make sense.

Secondly, the dialogue between the Security Guard and the Attendant, both in Japanese, could benefit from translation or subtitles for clarity. While it's not essential to understand everything they are saying, it would add to the overall understanding of the scene.

Finally, the transition from the Elderly Japanese Man's dreamlike reminiscing to Cobb's voiceover about a "resilient parasite" is a bit abrupt. A smoother transition or clearer connection between the two would enhance the impact of the ending and leave the viewer with a more powerful impression.

Overall, this is a well-executed and engaging scene but could benefit from a few minor improvements.

Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the setting: While the Japanese castle is mentioned, it is unclear where this scene takes place until we are suddenly in an elegant dining room. Consider establishing the location more clearly at the beginning of the scene or using establishing shots to orient the audience.

2. Build tension: The scene could benefit from more tension and conflict. The Bearded Man seems too passive, and the Elderly Japanese Man appears untroubled by the situation. Consider adding more dialogue that hints at the danger or stakes of the situation.

3. Develop the characters: Neither the Bearded Man nor the Elderly Japanese Man are given much backstory or characterization. Consider adding more detail that helps the audience understand who they are and why they are in this situation.

4. Introduce the main plot earlier: The reference to the "resilient parasite" and the idea of Inception is a tantalizing hook, but it does not come until the end of the scene. Consider introducing these elements earlier to grab the audience's attention and establish the central conflict of the story.

Scene 2 - The Extraction Pitch

INT. SAME ELEGANT DINING ROOM - NIGHT (YEARS EARLIER)

The speaker, COBB, is 35, handsome, tailored. A young
Japanese man, SAITO, eats as he listens.

COBB
A bacteria? A virus?

Cobb gestures at their feast with his wine glass-

COBB
An intestinal worm?

Saito’s fork pauses, mid-air. Cobb GRINS. A third man is at
the table- ARTHUR. He jumps in to save the pitch-

ARTHUR
What Mr. Cobb is trying to say-

COBB
An idea.

Saito looks at Cobb, curious.
3.

COBB
Resilient, highly contagious. Once
an idea’s taken hold in the brain
it’s almost impossible to
eradicate. A person can cover it
up, ignore it- but it stays there.

SAITO
But surely-to forget...?

COBB
Information, yes. But an idea?
Fully formed, understood? That
sticks...
(taps forehead)
In there, somewhere.

SAITO
For someone like you to steal?

ARTHUR
Yes. In the dream state, conscious
defenses are lowered and your
thoughts become vulnerable to
theft. It’s called extraction.

COBB
But, Mr. Saito, we can train your
subconscious to defend itself from
even the most skilled extractor.

SAITO
How can you do that?

COBB
Because I am the most skilled
extractor. I know how to search
your mind and find your secrets. I
know the tricks, and I can teach
them to your subconscious so that
even when you’re asleep, your guard
is never down.

Cobb leans forwards. Holding Saito’s gaze.

COBB
But if I’m going to help you, you
have to be completely open to me.
I’ll need to know my way around
your thoughts better than your
wife, your analyst, anyone.
(gestures around)
If this is a dream and you’ve got a
safe full of secrets, I need to
know what’s in that safe. For this
to work, you have to let me in.
4.

Saito gives this a flicker of a smile. Rises. A BODYGUARD
opens double doors which give onto a LAVISH PARTY.

SAITO
Gentlemen. Enjoy your evening as I
consider your proposal.

They watch Saito leave. Arthur turns to Cobb, worried-

ARTHUR
He knows.

Cobb motions silence. A TREMOR starts, they steady their
glasses, Cobb glances at his watch- THE SECOND HAND IS
FROZEN.

ARTHUR
What’s going on up there?

And we-

CUT TO:

FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Cobb, ASLEEP, SITTING IN A CHAIR AT THE END OF A STEAMING
BATH. The chair is up on a cabinet- the bottom of the legs
level with the rim of the tub.

A sweating man (40's) watches over Cobb. This is NASH. A
distant EXPLOSION rumbles through the room. Nash moves to the
window, parts the curtains. Outside: a CHAOTIC DEVELOPING-WORLD
CITY- the street filled with RIOTERS- SMASHING, BURNING.

Nash checks Cobb's left wrist: above his watch, tape holds
TWO THIN YELLOW TUBES in place. Nash looks at Cobb's watch-
THE SECOND HAND CRAWLS UNNATURALLY SLOWLY.

Nash follows the tubes to a SILVER BRIEFCASE at Arthur's
feet: ARTHUR IS ASLEEP in an armchair. Tubes connect the
briefcase to Arthur's wrist.

Nash follows another set of tubes from the briefcase to where
they pass under the door to the bedroom. Through the crack of
the door, Nash sees SAITO ASLEEP on the bed, tubes running to
his wrist. BOOM- a closer EXPLOSION, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY (FEELS LIKE DIFFERENT TIME)

Nash, ASLEEP. Head ROCKING AGAINST THE WINDOW as the train
BUMPS OVER A ROUGH PIECE OF TRACK.
5.

A Japanese Man, TODASHI (18) watches Nash nervously. He
checks Nash's wrist: TWO YELLOW TUBES CONNECT NASH WITH THREE
OTHER SLEEPING MEN IN THE COMPARTMENT: COBB, ARTHUR, SAITO.

Todashi checks his watch: THE SECOND HAND TICKS IN REAL TIME.
Another TRAIN PASSES in the opposite direction with a MIGHTY
WHUMP− Todashi's eyes FLY to Nash's sleeping face-

NASH JERKS WITH THE MOVEMENT OF THE TRAIN, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Another EXPLOSION- Nash CHECKS the sleeping Cobb and we-

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Thriller","Science Fiction"]

Summary Cobb pitches his extraction expertise to Saito, explaining that ideas can be stolen from the subconscious mind in dreams. He offers to train Saito's subconscious to protect his thoughts from theft. Nash monitors the sleeping team connected by tubes and briefcases.

Strengths "Strong and intriguing concept, tension building through use of monitoring and explosions."

Weaknesses "Lack of action, heavy exposition may be confusing for some viewers."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this is a well-written and engaging scene. The dialogue is natural and easy to follow, and the premise of the conversation is exciting. However, there are a few areas of critique:

1. There is quite a bit of exposition in this scene, which can make it feel a bit heavy-handed. Specifically, Arthur's line about "what Mr. Cobb is trying to say" feels like unnecessary hand-holding for the audience.

2. The scene could benefit from a bit more visual description, particularly in the earlier part of the conversation. Adding more detail about the room and the characters' actions would make the scene more grounded and immersive.

3. At times, the scene feels a bit rushed. There are several cuts between different locations and characters, which can be disorienting for the viewer. Slowing down the pace of the scene and allowing the conversation to evolve more gradually would make it feel more natural and engaging.

Suggestions Overall, this scene is well written and effectively establishes the concept of "extraction" as a central plot device. However, there are a few suggestions that could add to its impact:

1. Add more tension: The stakes of the scene are high, but there is not much sense of immediate danger. Consider adding more urgency or conflict to the dialogue or action to heighten the tension. For example, have Saito express more resistance to the idea of having his mind infiltrated, or have the bodyguard act more menacingly toward the trio.

2. Cut down on exposition: While it's important to establish the rules and limits of "extraction," the dialogue can feel a bit heavy-handed at times. Consider trimming down some of the explanations and letting the audience piece things together more gradually.

3. Increase the visual interest: Because the scene takes place entirely in one location and features mostly talking, it may benefit from incorporating more visual interest. Perhaps show some flashbacks or dream sequences to illustrate the concept more concretely. Alternatively, incorporate more imagery from the lavish party outside or the developing-world city visible from the bathroom.

4. Add more character dynamics: While Cobb, Arthur, and Saito have distinct personalities, their interactions in this scene are mostly straightforward. Consider adding more complexity to their relationships or revealing new information about their individual agendas. For example, perhaps Arthur has a personal stake in the extraction that he is hiding from Cobb and Saito.

Scene 3 - The Heist Begins

EXT. ROOFTOP TERRACES, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

A LOW TREMOR RUMBLES THROUGH THE CASTLE. Cobb and Arthur
steady themselves against the wooden rail. Several TILES and
pieces of MASONRY fall. Below them a BLACK SEA churns. Other
GUESTS wander the massive terraces.

ARTHUR
Saito knows. He's playing with us.

COBB
I can get it here. The
information's in the safe− he
looked right at it when I mentioned
secrets.

Arthur nods. Then spots someone over Cobb's shoulder.

ARTHUR
What's she doing here, Cobb?

Cobb turns to see a beautiful woman, elegantly dressed,
staring out at the sea. This is MAL. Cobb watches her.

COBB
You just get to your room. I'll
take care of the rest.

ARTHUR
See that you do. We're here to
work.

Arthur brushes past Mal, shaking his head. She nears Cobb.
Looks out at the DROP. The WIND WHIPS HER HAIR-

MAL
If I jumped, would I survive?
6.

COBB
With a clean dive, perhaps. Mal,
why are you here?

She turns to look at him. Amused.

MAL
I thought you might be missing
me...

She smiles. He leans in, mesmerized.

COBB
I am. But I can't trust you
anymore.

She stares up at him, inviting.

MAL
So what?

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Mal sips champagne as she studies a painting by Francis
Bacon.

MAL
Looks like Arthur's taste.

Cobb is looking down through the window at the GUARDS
patrolling the castle at ground level.

COBB
Actually, Mr. Saito is partial to
postwar British painters.

He turns to Mal, donning a pair of black leather gloves.

COBB
Would you sit down?

Mal lowers herself gracefully into a leather wingback chair.
Cobb approaches, pulls out a length of BLACK ROPE and kneels
at Mal's feet. She looks down at him.

MAL
Tell me...

Cobb TIES the rope around the CHAIR LEGS.

MAL
Do the children miss me?

Cobb pauses. He lets his gloved fingers lightly touch Mal's
ankle. He looks up at her.
7.

COBB
You can't imagine.

Mal looks away, uncomfortable. Cobb gets to his feet, letting
out the rope as he moves back to the window.

MAL
What're you doing?

Cobb tosses the rope out-

COBB
Getting some air.

He tugs on the rope, testing. The weight of the chair, with
Mal on it, holds.

COBB
Stay seated. Please.

And with that, he JUMPS. Mal considers the open window.

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb RAPPELS down the wall, darting past windows. He stops at
a particular one. Gets out a glass cutter-

Suddenly he starts DROPPING-

INT. BEDROOM SUITE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

The EMPTY CHAIR SLIDES across the floor- WEDGES under the
window-

EXT. JAPANESE CASTLE WALL - CONTINUOUS

Cobb JOLTS to a stop 15 ft. lower. He looks up at the bedroom
window. Shakes his head. Starts climbing back.

INT. KITCHEN, JAPANESE CASTLE - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb drops silently from the window into the darkened
kitchen. He pulls a PISTOL from his belt, screwing a SILENCER
onto the barrel as he GLIDES across the room.

INT. HALL, JAPANESE CASTLE-CONTINUOUS

Cobb SLIPS through the shadows towards a GUARD stationed at
the head of a GRAND STAIRCASE...

The Guard HEARS something- TURNS- PEERS into the shadows...

Cobb FLASHES out of the shadows, silenced pistol up, AIMING-
8.

PHHT- head shot- the Guard starts to drop... but Cobb is
already there to CATCH him, sliding on his knees and lowering
the Guard SILENTLY to the floor.

Genres: ["action","thriller"]

Summary Cobb and Arthur prepare to extract information from a safe while navigating the dangers of a Japanese castle. Mal, Cobb's ex-wife, interrupts and tries to distract him. Cobb ties Mal to a chair and repels down the wall to break into the bedroom. He then takes out a guard on his way to the safe.

Strengths "The scene is filled with tension and action as the characters navigate the dangers of the castle. The relationship between Cobb and Mal adds an emotional layer to the scene. The use of the rope and the window in the heist adds visual interest."

Weaknesses "The dialogue between Cobb and Mal lacks subtlety and feels forced at times. The scene relies heavily on tropes of the heist genre."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with good pacing and tension-building. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

- The dialogue between Arthur and Cobb could use a bit more depth and subtext. As it stands, it's pretty straightforward and lacking in nuance.
- Mal's entrance feels a bit forced and contrived. It's not entirely clear why she's there or what her motivations are.
- The action scene at the end is well-choreographed, but could benefit from more sensory detail to really immerse the reader in the moment.

Overall, this scene shows potential but could use some revisions to really make it shine.

Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue. However, there are some suggestions that could improve it:

1. Clarify the stakes: It's not entirely clear what Cobb and Arthur are trying to accomplish, and what the consequences will be if they fail. Adding some context or explanation could help increase tension and stakes.

2. Focus on character motivation: The interaction between Cobb and Mal feels a bit disjointed and unclear. Providing more insight into their history and motivations could make their conversation more compelling.

3. Tighten up the action: Some of the action descriptions feel overly detailed and could be condensed or trimmed down to create a faster pace. For example, the description of Cobb testing the weight of the chair with Mal in it slows down the momentum of the scene.

4. Include sensory details: The scene takes place at night, and there is wind and falling debris. Incorporating more sensory details could help immerse the audience in the setting and increase tension.

Scene 4 - The Heist Goes Wrong

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb moves to a PAINTING. With practiced hands he removes it
from the wall, revealing a SAFE. Cobb spins the dial, pulls
it OPEN, GRABS an envelope from within, stuffs it into his
waistband, where there is already an IDENTICAL ENVELOPE.

LIGHTS COME ON. Cobb freezes.

SAITO (O.S.)
Turn around.

Cobb turns. At the far end of the room: Saito. Next to him is
Mal, gun in hand. She smiles at Cobb.

MAL
The gun, Dom.

Cobb doesn't move. Mal motions outside- two GUARDS drag
Arthur into the room. Mal puts the gun to his head.

MAL
Please.

Cobb slowly places his gun at his end of the long table, then
SLIDES it along the polished ebony. It comes to rest HALFWAY
down the length or the table.

SAITO
Now the envelope, Mr. Cobb.

Cobb reaches into his waistband, removes ONE of the
envelopes, SLIDES it along the table. Steps back, hands
raised.

COBB
Did she tell you, or have you known
all along?

SAITO
That you're here to steal from me?
(beat)
Or that we're actually asleep?

Arthur gives Cobb an I-told-you-so look.

SAITO
I want to know who your employer
is.

Mal COCKS the gun at Arthur's temple.
9.

COBB
No point threatening him in a
dream.

MAL
That depends on what you're
threatening. Killing him would just
wake him up... but pain? Pain is in
the mind...

Mal LOWERS the gun and SHOOTS Arthur in the leg- Arthur
drops, SCREAMING- Mal looks at Cobb, cold.

MAL
And, judging by the decor, we're in
your mind, aren't we, Arthur?

Cobb watches Arthur's PAIN. Mal aims at Arthur's other leg...

Cobb SPRINGS for the table, SKIDDING along its polished
surface- he GRABS his gun- SHOOTS ARTHUR BETWEEN THE EYES-

Arthur DROPS- the room starts to SHUDDER in a MASSIVE
EARTHQUAKE− Cobb SPRINGS for the door- Arthur's eyes stare at
the ceiling, DEAD, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Arthur's EYES OPEN as he WAKES IN THE ARMCHAIR- he GRABS at
the tubes at his wrist, YANKING them free-

NASH
What're you doing?! It's too soon-

FLUID spurts from the tubes as Arthur STRUGGLES with the
SILVER CASE on the bathroom floor.

ARTHUR
I know! We have to reconnect the
loop before they wake up!

Arthur grabs the case and pushes through the door to the
bedroom− following the tubes to where they meet Saito's wrist-
SAITO LIES ON THE BED ASLEEP. Saito STIRS and we-

CUT TO:

INT. JAPANESE CASTLE CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Cobb LURCHES towards the stairs, as all around him the
building BUCKS and HEAVES-
10.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito and the Guards PANIC. Mal walks calmly through the
destruction, picks up the envelope and turns to Saito.

MAL
He was close. Very close.

EXT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Cobb runs up the stairs, pulling out the SECOND ENVELOPE-

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

Saito RIPS open the envelope, pulls out sheets of paper. He
looks at Mal, PANICKED. He turns to the Guards-

SAITO
Stop him!

Mal, confused, looks at the sheets of paper: THEY ARE BLANK.
Mal smiles, amused.

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - CONTINUOUS

As Cobb runs up the stairs he reads the TYPEWRITTEN SHEETS
from his envelope, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Arthur OPENS the silver case: a COMPLEX MECHANISM of TUBES,
SYRINGES, DOSAGE CONTROLLERS. Arthur's hands fly across the
machine's controls as he glances at Saito's STIRRING face-

ARTHUR
I'm not going to make it! Wake
Cobb!

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash turns to Cobb. Raises his hand and SMACKS him across the
face, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb is SMASHED sideways off his feet...
11.

INT. DINING ROOM, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

The CEILING CRACKS above Saito- he looks up as a TON of STONE
floods down, CRUSHING HIM and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes FLICKER OPEN. AWAKE.

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash SMACKS Cobb again-

NASH
He won't wake!

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-CONTINUOUS

Arthur crouched by Saito, connects the second tube.

ARTHUR
Dunk him!

A CLICK: Arthur looks up to find Saito with a gun to his head
and a finger to his lips, gesturing silence...

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Nash puts his hand on Cobb's forehead and PUSHES HIM
BACKWARDS− as Cobb starts to FALL BACKWARDS in the chair we
are in SLOW MOTION, and we-

CUT TO:

Genres: ["action","thriller"]

Summary Cobb and his team attempt to steal information from Saito's dream. As they retrieve the information, they are confronted by Saito and Mal with guns. Arthur is used as a bargaining chip, but Cobb ultimately kills him to escape. The dream becomes unstable and the team wakes up to find they must reconnect a machine to prevent permanent damage to Saito's mind.

Strengths "Intense action and conflict, well-defined and complex characters"

Weaknesses "Some dialogue feels clich\u00e9d"

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-paced and full of tension and action, which is essential for a heist or action movie. However, there are a few areas that could be improved. Firstly, some of the actions and dialogue seem a bit unrealistic or forced. For example, Mal's comment about pain being in the mind, and her shooting Arthur in the leg, seem overly cruel and illogical even for a villain. Additionally, the dialogue between Saito and Cobb feels a bit on the nose and could benefit from more subtlety or nuance.

Another issue is that character development and relationships are not fully explored. The motivations and backgrounds of some of the characters, particularly Mal, are not fully fleshed out, which makes it harder for the audience to empathize or connect with them.

Lastly, the description and setting could be more vivid and detailed. While the actions are clearly outlined, there is relatively little description of the surroundings beyond the bare minimum needed to understand the scene. Further details about the Japanese castle and its decor, or the characters' emotions and physical reactions, could heighten the tension and make the scene more immersive.

Overall, while there are areas for improvement, this scene has a strong foundation and with some tweaks could become an even more thrilling and impactful part of the larger story.

Suggestions The scene needs more clarity in terms of character motivations. It's hard to understand why Mal and Saito are so willing to harm Arthur, besides for the fact that he's in the way. It would be helpful to have some explanation or backstory about their intentions or relationships with Cobb and Arthur. Additionally, some of the action sequences could be simplified so they are easier to follow. For example, instead of having a massive earthquake, it could be something simpler like the building shaking or rumbling. Finally, adding some more sensory details like sound effects or music could enhance the overall impact of the scene.

Scene 5 - Audition

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb, full speed, picks himself up, scrambling to read the
last sheet of paper. He stares at it PUZZLED- bullets hit
around him as the Guards race up the stairs and we-

CUT TO:

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb in SLOW MOTION, hits the WATER- head THRASHING as he
goes under- and we-

CUT TO:

INT. GRAND STAIRCASE, JAPANESE CASTLE - NIGHT

Cobb glances up from the paper as WATER EXPLODES IN THROUGH
ALL THE WINDOWS, FLOODING THE ENTIRE HALL-
12.

COBB IS SWAMPED BY WATER, SPUN IN ALL DIRECTIONS AT ONCE- HE
PULLS DEEPER OR FOR THE SURFACE, WE CAN'T TELL...

HE BREAKS THE SURFACE, GASPING FOR AIR IN THE BATHTUB IN THE-

INT. FILTHY BATHROOM - DAY

Cobb’s AWAKE, GULPING AIR, getting his bearings.

Saito SMASHES into the room, KNOCKING Nash down- Cobb
LAUNCHES himself out of the tub, FLYING dripping wet across
the room to SLAM Saito against the door- the gun DROPS,
Cobb's fist CONNECTS with Saito's jaw and the struggle is
over.

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb, wet but composed, sits, turning Saito's gun in his
hand. Nash holds Saito's arms behind him. Outside, the sounds
of RIOTING grow louder.

COBB
You came prepared.

SAITO
I bring the gun because not even my
head of security knows this
apartment. How did you find it?

Arthur, at the window, looks out at the WORSENING VIOLENCE.

COBB
Hard for a man in your position to
keep a love nest totally secret...
particularly when there's a married
woman involved.

SAITO
She would never...

COBB
And yet, here we are.

Saito is silent.

COBB
With a dilemma.

SAITO
You got what you came for.

COBB
Not quite. The key piece of
information wasn't there, was it,
Mr. Saito?
13.

Arthur looks over at Cobb, worried.

ARTHUR
They're getting closer, Cobb.

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi slips a pair of HEADPHONES over Nash's ears, then
pulls out an MP3 player and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito's eyes are on the floor.

COBB
You held something back because you
knew what we were up to...

Cobb uses the barrel of the gun to raise Saito's chin.

COBB
So why let us in at all?

Saito smiles, defiant. VIOLENT NOISES echo up the stairway...

SAITO
An audition.

COBB
Audition for what?

SAITO
It doesn't matter. You failed.

COBB
I extracted all the information you
had in there.

SAITO
But your deception was readily
apparent.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi opens the SILVER BRIEFCASE, revealing the complex
mechanism of syringes and controllers- FOUR CONTROLLERS
DISPLAY COUNTDOWNS.
14.

Todashi waits for the first countdown to hit "30," then HITS
PLAY on the MP3 player- He watches Nash's sleeping face as he
RAISES the volume...

Through Nash's headphones: the opening bars of Edith Piaf's
"Non, je ne regrette rien," and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

In the distant background, strange MASSIVE low-end MUSICAL
start, sounding like DISTANT HORNS...

SAITO
So leave me and go.

COBB
You know the corporation who hired
us won't accept failure. We won't
last two days...

The DISTANT, SLOWED-DOWN MUSIC is becoming LOUDER, as are the
SHOUTS coming up the stairs. Arthur looks at his watch, its
SLOW SECOND TICKING MARKS TIME WITH THE MASSIVE MUSIC.

ARTHUR
Come on, Cobb.

COBB
So now I have to do this the old-
fashioned way-

Cobb GRABS SAITO AND PUTS HIS HEAD TO THE FLOOR, gun pressed
into his cheek. Saito looks into Cobb's eyes- sees he will
pull the trigger. Saito BLINKS, looks away in shame-

When he NOTICES SOMETHING. And starts LAUGHING.

SAITO
I've always hated this carpet.

Cobb’s eyes flick to the carpet and back.

SAITO
It's stained and frayed in such
distinctive ways...

Cobb looks up at Nash, who shrugs, at a loss.

SAITO
But very definitely made of wool.
Right now I'm lying on polyester.
15.

Cobb glares at Nash, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Todashi watches the first of the countdowns hit ZERO- He
looks up at Arthur, STIRRING, and we-

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb interrogates Saito for information about a job that they had failed to complete. Saito reveals that it was an audition, and Cobb realizes that they were tricked.

Strengths "The tension of the scene is palpable as Cobb and Saito face off, with Cobb resorting to violence to get the information he needs. The unexpected twist of the audition adds a layer of complexity to the plot."

Weaknesses "The scene is somewhat confusing and disjointed as it jumps back and forth between different locations and timeframes."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I can provide feedback on the elements of the scene such as characters, dialogue, plot, action, setting, and pacing.

- Characters: The scene features Cobb, Saito, Nash, and Todashi. Cobb is the protagonist, Saito is the antagonist, Nash is a secondary character, and Todashi is an accomplice of Saito's.

- Dialogue: The dialogue is effective in building tension, providing exposition, and revealing character traits. The conversation between Cobb and Saito shows their conflicting goals, distrust, and manipulation of each other.

- Plot: The plot involves Cobb and his team's attempt to retrieve information from Saito, a powerful businessman, by infiltrating his subconscious through dream-sharing technology. Their plan fails, and they are in danger of being caught.

- Action: The scene contains intense action sequences such as Cobb's escape from guards and the flooding of the Japanese castle. The fight scene between Cobb and Saito is well-choreographed, and it showcases Cobb's resourcefulness and physical prowess.

- Setting: The scene features various locations such as a grand staircase, a filthy bathroom, and a dilapidated hotel room. The contrast between the luxurious and rundown settings adds to the atmosphere of the scene.

- Pacing: The pacing of the scene is fast-paced, with quick cuts between different locations and action sequences. However, the dialogue provides moments of brevity and character development.

Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging, with its use of multiple locations, characters, and action sequences. The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and mistrust between the characters, and the action scenes keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Suggestions Overall, the scene feels disjointed and confusing due to the frequent cutting between different locations. As a screenwriting expert, my suggestions to improve this scene are:

1. Consider condensing the action and limiting the number of locations.

Rather than jumping back and forth between the staircase, bathroom, and hotel room, consider keeping the scene primarily in one location to maintain clarity and focus. For example, the entire confrontation could take place in the hotel room with Saito and Cobb.

2. Provide more character development.

The scene could benefit from more exploration of the characters' motivations and emotions. For instance, why is Saito so nonchalant about being caught in a love nest? How does Cobb feel about threatening him with a gun?

3. Increase tension and stakes.

The stakes in this scene don't feel particularly high, even with the mention of the corporation not accepting failure. Adding a sense of urgency or danger could heighten the tension and make the scene more engaging. Perhaps the rioting outside could escalate and threaten the safety of the characters, or the countdown on the syringes in the bullet train could become more urgent.

4. Simplify the action.

The action in this scene feels overly complicated with multiple cuts back and forth and the use of slow motion and music. Simplifying the action and focusing on a few key moments could make the scene more impactful.

Scene 6 - The Dream Heist Part 2

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM-DAY

Saito turns from the carpet to look up at Cobb.

SAITO
Which means I'm not lying on my
carpet, in my apartment...
(smiles)
You've lived up to your reputation,
Mr. Cobb... I'm still dreaming.

Cobb looks over to Arthur, but ARTHUR HAS VANISHED, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur's eyes flicker open, AWAKE. He RIPS at his tubes.

TODASHI
How'd it go?

ARTHUR
Not good.

Arthur checks the remaining three countdowns, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Saito gets to his feet, looking admiringly at Cobb.

SAITO
A dream within a dream-I'm
impressed.

Cobb lowers the gun. Defeated. Glances at his watch. The
music REVERBERATES, the RIOTERS BANG ON THE DOOR, and we-

CUT TO:
16.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Arthur retracts the tubes into the case as he watches the
next countdown hit ZERO, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. DILAPIDATED HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Another BANG on the door- Saito, confident now, approaches
Cobb. Nash is behind Saito.

SAITO
But in my dream, we really ought to
be playing by my rules...

NASH
Ah, yes, but you see, Mr. Saito-

Saito turns to Nash-

COBB
We're not in your dream-

Saito turns back to Cobb, BUT COBB HAS VANISHED-

NASH
We're in mine.

Saito SPINS back to Nash- the DOOR SMASHES OFF ITS HINGES AS
RIOTERS POUR INTO THE ROOM, SWARMING OVER NASH... BUT NASH IS
GONE. The music DIES. Saito and the rioters stand there in
the SILENCE, the light DWINDLING... and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - DAY

Nash’ eyes open, AWAKE.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
Asshole!

Nash BLINKS. Arthur is in his face, furious.

ARTHUR
How could you get the carpet
wrong?!

NASH
It wasn't my fault!

ARTHUR
You're the architect-
17.

NASH
I didn't know he was going to rub
his damn cheek on it!

Cobb pulls Arthur away from Nash.

COBB
Lets go.

ARTHUR
And you-what the hell was all that?

COBB
I had it under control.

ARTHUR
I’d hate to see out of control-

COBB
There's no time for this-I'm
getting off at Kyoto.

ARTHUR
Why? He's not gonna search every
compartment.

COBB
I can't stand trains.

Arthur moves to the briefcase. Turns a dial.

ARTHUR
I can keep him under for one minute-

Arthur hits a button- A PLUNGER DEPRESSES. Cobb RIPS the tape
off Saito's wrist, ROLLS up his tubes. Arthur SLAMS the
silver case shut. Todashi pulls open the door-

COBB
Every man for himself.

Arthur and Nash EXIT, heading in different directions down
the corridor. Cobb hands Todashi a thick roll of CASH, looks
at Saito, who stirs. Cobb moves off.

EXT. JAPANESE COUNTRYSIDE - CONTINUOUS

The BULLET TRAIN speeds through the lush landscape.

INT. BULLET TRAIN COMPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Saito WAKES GENTLY. Looks around the compartment, empty but
for Todashi, reading a comic. Saito looks down at his wrist.
Sees a small mark. Rubs it. SMILES.
18.

EXT. TOKYO - DUSK

Moving over the vast city towards a high rise. A HELICOPTER
thumps into frame, heading for a pad on the roof.

Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb and his team continue their dream heist in multiple levels of dreams, encountering obstacles, double-crossings, and danger along the way.

Strengths "Intense action and suspense sequences that keep the audience engaged. Good pacing and use of multiple levels of dreams to add complexity to the plot."

Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue feels clunky and exposition-heavy. Some character motivations are unclear and could be explained better."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene seems to be well-written and engaging. The transitions between the different locations are smooth and the pacing is quick, creating a sense of urgency and tension. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue between Saito and Cobb in the dilapidated hotel room feels a bit contrived and expositional. It’s clear that the purpose of this conversation is to establish that Saito is still dreaming, but the way it’s done feels a bit forced. If possible, it would be more effective to find a way to convey this information more organically.

Secondly, the conversation between Nash and Arthur in the bullet train compartment feels a bit unnecessary. While it does establish that there was a mistake in the dream, it feels like it could have been handled in a more subtle way. Additionally, the dialogue between the two characters feels a bit clunky and unnatural.

Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but could benefit from some tightening up of the dialogue in a few areas.

Suggestions Firstly, the scene lacks clear physical descriptions and sensory details. For example, what does the dilapidated hotel room look like? How does it smell? By including these details, the scene can come alive and immerse the audience in the setting.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved by making it more concise and impactful. The conversation between Saito and Cobb could be shortened to emphasize the important points and create more tension.

Thirdly, the transitions between the different locations could be smoother. Instead of abruptly cutting from one scene to the next, the transitions could be built up through visual and audio cues such as fades and overlapping sounds.

Lastly, the scene could benefit from more action and physical movement. The characters are mostly standing and talking, which can grow stagnant for the audience. Adding in more action and movement can add more visual interest and excitement.

Scene 7 - Phone Call Home

INT. APARTMENT, TOKYO - CONTINUOUS

Cobb sits, waiting. Checks his watch, restless. He pulls a
HANDGUN. Checks it is loaded. places it on the table in front
of him. Pulls out a PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
table ... He INTENT STUDIES the top's spin... As he stares,
the sound of a FREIGHT TRAIN builds and builds- the top
WOBBLES, TIPS onto its side- the sound of the train STOPS.
the PHONE RINGS- Cobb GRABS it-

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Hi, Daddy! Hi, Dad.

COBB
Hey, guys. How are you?

CHILDREN'S VOICES (over phone)
Good. Okay, I guess.

Cobb closes his eyes, trying to picture his children: INSERT
CUT: COBB's MEMORY- a LITTLE BLONDE BOY (3), back towards us,
crouches IN A GARDEN, looks at something in the grass...

COBB
Who's just okay? Was that James?

JAMES (over phone)
Yeah. When are you coming home?

COBB
I can't. Not for a while.

INSERT CUT: A LITTLE BLONDE GIRL (5), also FACE UNSEEN, joins
JAMES, CROUCHING BESIDE HIM...

JAMES (over phone)
Why?

COBB
Well, James, like I've told you-I'm
away because I'm working...

LITTLE GIRL (over phone)
Grandma says you're never coming
back.

Cobb pauses. Takes a breath. INSERT CUT: James and Philippa,
FACES UNSEEN, lift their heads from the grass, responding to
someone's call− they RUN AWAY FROM US ACROSS THE GARDEN...
19.

COBB
Philippa, can you ask Grandma to
pick up the phone-

PHILIPPA (over phone)
She's shaking her head.

Cobb TENSES, as if about to SMASH the phone.

COBB
Well, we'll just have to hope
Grandma's wrong about that won't
we?

JAMES
(over phone)
Daddy?

COBB
Yes?

JAMES (over phone)
Is Mommy with you?

Cobb looks like he just got punched- INSERT CUT: COBB'S
MEMORY− MAL, WIND BLOWING HER HAIR, SMILES CALMLY...

COBB
No. No, we talked about this,
James. Mommy's gone.

JAMES (over phone)
Where?

GRANDMA'S VOICE (over phone)
Time to go, kids. Say bye-bye-
COBB
I'll give some presents to Grandpa,
okay? Just be good for-

Cobb STARES at the dead phone. Then DOWNS his drink- A KNOCK
at the door. Cobb GRABS the top, the gun- MOVES to the door-
cracks it: Arthur.

ARTHUR
Our ride's on the roof.

Cobb nods. Moves to pick up his bag. Arthur watches.

ARTHUR
Cobb... are you okay?

Cobb looks up.
20.

COBB
Yeah, why?

ARTHUR
Down in the dream... Mal showing up
like that ...

COBB
Yeah. I'm sorry about your leg.

ARTHUR
It's getting worse, isn't it?

COBB
One apology's all you're getting,
Arthur. Now, where's Nash?

ARTHUR
Hasn't shown. Wanna wait?

COBB
(shakes head)
We were supposed to deliver Saito's
expansion plans to Cobol Engineering
two hours ago. By now they know we
failed. Time to disappear.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Cobb and Arthur head towards the elevator.

ARTHUR
Where will you go?

COBB
Buenos Aires. I can lie low there.
Maybe sniff out a job when things
quiet down. You?

ARTHUR
Stateside.

COBB
(wistful) )
'Course. Send my regards.

Arthur looks at Cobb. Nods. Sympathetic.

EXT. ROOFTOP HELIPAD - NIGHT

The HELICOPTER sits, ROTORS SPINNING. As Cobb and Arthur
reach the door, it SLIDES OPEN. Cobb steps up into the
leather-padded interior. He freezes.
21.

Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Cobb receives a phone call from his children while spinning a top and holding a gun. He struggles to remain calm as his daughter suggests his mother-in-law thinks he's never coming back. Meanwhile, Arthur checks up on Cobb's well-being before they both leave for their next job.

Strengths "The emotional stakes are clear and add depth to the scene. The use of cuts to Cobb's memories adds visual interest to the phone conversation. The tension is palpable as Cobb struggles to stay calm and Arthur checks on him."

Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue can feel exposition-heavy, particularly with regard to the children's conversation. The visual reveal of Arthur on the helipad is somewhat predictable."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I do not have preferences or sentiments. However, I can give you some notes on the scene based on general screenwriting principles.

Overall, the scene is well-written and emotionally engaging. The dialogue successfully conveys Cobb's longing for his family, as well as his desperation and fear. The use of flashbacks to his memories of his children and ex-wife adds depth and makes the scene more relatable.

One possible improvement would be to give more details about the setting. For example, what kind of apartment is it, and how does it reflect Cobb's character and situation? Similarly, it would be helpful to know more about the freight train and how it affects Cobb and the environment. Adding more sensory details and descriptions could enhance the scene's impact and immersion.

Another element that could be developed further is the action and tension. While the scene's emotional content is strong, the physical action, such as Cobb grabbing his gun and the phone ringing, feels somewhat anticlimactic. Adding more twists and turns or heightened suspense could make the scene even more engaging and exciting.

Overall, the scene has many strengths, such as its effective use of dialogue and flashbacks to build character and emotion. With some further refinement of the setting and action, it could be even more impactful.

Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more visual descriptions to enhance the tension and emotion in the scene. For example, when Cobb picks up the gun, the audience could see the sweat on his forehead or his hands trembling slightly. Additionally, when the phone conversation with his children becomes more emotional, the camera could focus on his face, showing the pain and desperation he is feeling.

The scene could also benefit from more clarity in the dialogue, particularly when the children mention their grandmother. It's unclear if they are saying she thinks Cobb will never come back or if she thinks he's not a good father. This could be clarified to make the scene more impactful.

Finally, to improve the pacing, some of the cuts to Cobb's memories could be removed or minimized. While they add emotional depth to the scene, they also disrupt the flow of the dialogue and action. Focusing more on the present moment and Cobb's reactions could make the scene more engaging for the audience.

Scene 8 - Offer and Choice

INT. HELICOPTER ON PAD - CONTINUOUS

Nash, BEATEN BLOODY, sits on the far side, slumped against
the wine. Beside him: SAITO. He nods politely at Cobb.

SAITO
He sold you out. Thought to come to
me and bargain for his life...

Saito's BODYGUARD offers Cobb a GUN.

SAITO
So I offer you the satisfaction.

COBB
That's not how I deal with things.

SAITO
Would you work with him again?

Cobb shakes his head. Saito's BODYGUARDS PULL Nash from the
chopper. Saito motions Cobb and Arthur to sit. The chopper
RISES. Cobb watches Nash DRAGGED across the pad.

COBB
What will you do to him?

SAITO
Nothing. But I can't speak for your
friends from Cobol Engineering.

Saito looks out at the city slipping by.

COBB
What do you want from us?

SAITO
Inception.

Arthur raises his eyebrows. Cobb is poker-faced.

SAITO
Is it possible?

ARTHUR
Of course not.

SAITO
If you can steal an idea from
someone's mind, why can't you plant
one there instead?

ARTHUR
Okay, here's planting an idea: I
say to you, "Don't think about
elephants."
(MORE)
22.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
(Saito nods)
What are you thinking about?

SAITO
Elephants.

ARTHUR
Right. But it's not your idea
because you know I gave it to you.

SAITO
You could plant it subconsciously-

ARTHUR
The subject's mind can always trace
the genesis of the idea. True
inspiration is impossible to fake.

COBB
No, it isn't.

SAITO
Can you do it?

COBB
I won't do it.

SAITO
In exchange, I'll give you the
information you were paid to steal.

COBB
Are you giving me a choice? Because
I can find my own way to square
things with Cobol.

SAITO
Then you do have a choice.

COBB
And I choose to leave.

EXT. AIRFIELD - MOMENTS LATER

The helicopter sets down next to a PRIVATE JET.

INT. HELICOPTER - CONTINUOUS

Saito indicates the plane.

SAITO
Tell the crew where you want to go,
they'll file the plan en route.

Cobb and Arthur look at each other. Then move for the door.
23.

SAITO
Mr. Cobb...? There is one other
thing I could offer you.
(Cobb stops)
How would you like to go home? To
America. To your children.

Cobb turns back to Saito.

COBB
You can't fix that. Nobody could.

SAITO
Just like inception.

Cobb considers this. Arthur touches his arm.

ARTHUR
Cobb, come on-

COBB
How complex is the idea?

SAITO
Simple enough.

COBB
No idea's simple when you have to
plant it in someone else's mind.

SAITO
My main competitor is an old man in
poor health. His son will soon
inherit control of the corporation.
I need him to decide to break up
his father's empire. Against his
own self-interest.

ARTHUR
Cobb, we should walk away from
this.

COBB
If I were to do it. If I could do
it... how do I know you can
deliver?

SAITO
You don't. But I can. So do you
want to take a leap of faith, or
become an old man, filled with
regret, waiting to die alone?

Cobb looks at Saito. Barely nods.
24.

SAITO
Assemble your team, Mr. Cobb. And
choose your people more wisely.

Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Saito offers Cobb the chance to go home in exchange for performing an inception, and Cobb reluctantly agrees, setting up the rest of the film's plot.

Strengths "Engaging dialogue and an intriguing offer that sets up the rest of the story."

Weaknesses "Some of the character motivations are a bit unclear at this point."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 10

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique This scene is from the movie Inception (2010) and is a well-written and engaging part of the film. The scene is well-paced and tension-filled, creating a sense of urgency and intrigue. The dialogue is sharp and to the point, and the character motivations are clear.

The scene effectively establishes the key plot points and introduces the main characters' conflict. It is the pivotal moment in the film where the protagonist, Cobb, is presented with a choice that will directly affect the rest of the plot.

However, one critique of this scene is that the character development is limited. There is not much insight into the characters' past or psychology, which makes it harder for us to fully understand their motivations and actions. And because the scene is part of a larger context, there are moments where the dialogue is self-contained and may not make sense to those unfamiliar with the film.

Overall, this scene works well within the movie's framework and keeps the audience engaged. However, on its own, it might not hold up as strongly as a standalone script.

Suggestions Here are a few suggestions for improving this scene:

1. Develop the characters: While we get a sense of Saito's character and motivations, we don't really know much about Nash, Cobb, or Arthur. It would be helpful to give the audience a little more insight into who these characters are and what drives them.

2. Add tension: Although the scene is meant to be tense, it's could be even more gripping if it had more build-up and suspense. Perhaps we could see Nash being captured earlier in the film or overhear a conversation that hints at the danger he's in before we see him in the helicopter.

3. Use more visual language: Screenplays are a visual medium, so it's important to be as descriptive as possible when writing them. Instead of simply saying "The chopper RISES," for example, the writer could describe the sensation of the chopper lifting off the ground or the rotor blades whirring to life.

4. Simplify the dialogue: While the dialogue in this scene is good, it could be more streamlined. Some of the lines are a bit redundant (for example, when Arthur says, "Cobb, we should walk away from this," and then Cobb essentially repeats the same sentiment).

5. Raise the stakes: While the idea of "inception" is intriguing, it doesn't necessarily feel like the highest stakes. It might be helpful to clarify exactly what will happen if they fail to plant the idea in someone's mind or if they're caught trying to do so. Additionally, if the team members have personal stakes in the outcome (such as if they're doing the job to save a loved one), that would add more tension to the scene.

Scene 9 - Going Deeper

INT. PRIVATE JET - LATER

Cobb reclines his seat. Arthur picks at a salad, angry.

ARTHUR
I know how much you want to go home-

COBB
(sharp)
No, you don't.

ARTHUR
But this can't be done.

COBB
It can. You just have to go deep
enough.

ARTHUR
You don't know that!-

COBB
I've done it before.

Arthur is taken aback. Cobb turns to the window.

ARTHUR
Did it work?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes.

ARTHUR
Who did you do it to?

Cobb looks at Arthur. Closed. Arthur shrugs.

ARTHUR
So why are we headed to Paris?

COBB
We're going to need a new
architect.

INT. GREAT HALL, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MORNING

Cobb, carrying a shopping bag, looks into a lecture hall: no
students, just a RUMPLED PROFESSOR hunched over paperwork.
25.

Genres: ["drama","mystery"]

Summary Cobb and Arthur discuss the possibility of inception and the need for a new architect. Cobb reveals he has done it before.

Strengths "Strong dialogue and character development."

Weaknesses "Limited action in the scene."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 7

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, the scene is well-structured with clear dialogue exchanges between the characters. However, it lacks visual depth and action, which can make it less engaging for the audience. Here are some additional notes:

- The setting and characters are not described in detail, which can make it harder for the audience to fully immerse themselves in the scene. Adding some visual cue or character trait could help to ground the scene and give the audience more context.
- The dialogue feels a bit too direct and expository at times. For example, when Arthur says "But this can't be done" and Cobb replies "It can. You just have to go deep enough", it sounds too much like a lecture or a statement of rules rather than a real conversation between two people. In contrast, when Arthur asks "Did it work?" and Cobb answers "Yes", the short and quiet exchange feels more authentic and intriguing. Adding more subtext or nuances to the dialogue could make the scene more dynamic and interesting.
- The transition between the private jet and the architecture school is abrupt and lacks visual continuity. It's not clear how much time has passed between the two scenes, or how Cobb and Arthur got to Paris. Adding some establishing shots or transitional scenes could help to smooth out the pacing and make the audience more invested in the story.
- The scene ends on a bit of an anti-climax, with Cobb simply looking at a professor in a lecture hall. While it's possible that this is meant to be a teaser or a setup for a later scene, it doesn't feel like a satisfying beat for the scene itself. Adding a bit more action or tension, or revealing a bit more about the professor or the architecture school, could help to give the scene a stronger closure or hook.

Overall, the scene has potential but could benefit from more visual and tonal variety, as well as a clearer sense of purpose and stakes.

Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more tension and drama to the conversation between Cobb and Arthur. Currently, it feels a bit static and could use more emotional depth.

2. Clarify what exactly they are trying to accomplish and why it is so important to Cobb.

3. Show more of Arthur's perspective and why he is resistant to Cobb's plan.

4. Consider adding some backstory to the characters to help the audience understand why they are in this situation.

5. Make the dialogue more concise and impactful. Cut out any filler or unnecessary details.

6. Increase the visual interest of the scene by adding more action or movement. For example, have the private jet encountering turbulence or have Cobb pacing back and forth.

7. Make the transition to the next scene smoother and more logical. It currently feels abrupt and disjointed.

Scene 10 - The Architect's Offer

INT. LECTURE HALL - CONTINUOUS

COBB (O.S.)
You never did like your office.

PROFESSOR MILES looks up, squinting. Recognizes Cobb.

MILES
No space to think in that broom
cupboard.

Cobb steps down past the empty wooden rows.

MILES
Is it safe for you to be here?

COBB
Extradition between France and the
U.S. is a bureaucratic nightmare.

MILES
I think they'd find a way to make
it work in your case.

Cobb hand Miles the shopping bag.

COBB
Can you take these back for the
kids?

MILES
It'll take more than the occasional
stuffed animal to convince those
children they still have a father.

COBB
I know. I thought you could talk to
Marie about bringing them on
vacation. Somewhere I could meet-

MILES
Why would she listen to me?

COBB
You were married for twenty years.

MILES
She blames me as much as you.

COBB
Doesn't she understand that my kids
need me?
26.

MILES
Yes, she does. We all do. Go back
and face the music, Dom. Explain
what Mal did.

COBB
Be realistic, Stephen. They'd never
understand− they'd lock me up and
throwaway the key. Or worse.

MILES
You think what you're doing now is
helping your case?

COBB
Lawyers don't pay for themselves.
This is what I have. This is what
you taught me.

MILES
I never taught you to be a thief.

COBB
No, you taught me to navigate other
people's minds. But after what
happened with Mal there weren't a
whole lot of legitimate ways for me
to use that skill.

Miles looks at Cobb.

MILES
Why did you come here, Dom?

Cobb shifts slightly.

COBB
I found a way home. A job. For
powerful people. If I pull it off,
I can get back to my family. But I
need help.

Miles realizes something.

MILES
My God. You're here to corrupt one
of my brightest and best.

COBB
If you have someone good enough,
you have to let them decide for
themselves. You know what I'm
offering-

MILES
Money?
27.

COBB
No, not just money: the chance to
build cathedrals, entire cities-
things that have never existed,
things that couldn't exist in the
real world...

MILES
Everybody dreams, Cobb. Architects
are supposed to make those dreams
real.

COBB
That's not what you used to say.
You told me that in the real world
I'd be building attic conversions
and gas stations. You said that if
I mastered the dream-share I'd have
a whole new way of creating and
showing people my creations. You
told me it would free me.

Miles looks at Cobb, sad.

MILES
And I'm sorry. I was wrong.

COBB
No, you weren't. Your vision was a
vision of pure creativity. It's
where we took it that was wrong.

MILES
And now you want me to let someone
else follow you into fantasy.

COBB
They won't actually come on the
job, they'll just design the levels
and teach them to the dreamers.

MILES
Design them yourself.

COBB
Mal won't let me.

Miles looks at Cobb. Appalled.

MILES
Come back to reality, Dom. Please.

COBB
You want to know what's real,
Stephen? Your grandchildren waiting
for their dad to come back.
(MORE)
28.
COBB (CONT'D)
This job-this last job-is how I get
there.

Miles looks down, fiddles with his papers.

COBB
I wouldn't be standing here if
there were any other way. I can get
home. But I need an architect who's
as good as I was.

Miles looks Cobb in the eye. Decides.

MILES
I've got someone better.

Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb visits his former mentor, Miles, to ask for help in his latest job offer that could bring him back to his family. Miles is hesitant about the offer, as he worries it could be dangerous and illegal. Cobb insists he needs an architect, and Miles ultimately decides to introduce him to someone better.

Strengths "The conversation between the two characters is intriguing and engaging. The dialogue is well-written and reflective of their relationship. The tension between what Cobb wants and what Miles thinks is best creates an interesting conflict."

Weaknesses "The action is minimal, as the scene is mostly dialogue-driven. The backstory about Cobb's past and his job offer could be confusing to those unfamiliar with the story."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 10

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 10

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue between Cobb and Miles is natural and reveals their history and motivations. However, there are some areas that could be improved.

First, the scene could benefit from more visual description of the setting and characters. The audience doesn't have much context for where they are, what the characters look like, or any physical actions they are doing. Adding details like the condition of the lecture hall or the expressions on the characters' faces could make the scene more dynamic.

Second, some of the lines feel too expository or on-the-nose. For example, when Miles asks Cobb "Why did you come here, Dom?" it feels like a forced way to get Cobb to explain his motivations. Additionally, when Cobb says "This job-this last job-is how I get there," it feels like a clunky way to explain the stakes of the story. Finding more natural and organic ways to reveal information would make the dialogue feel more authentic.

Overall, this scene does a good job of setting up the conflict and motivation for the rest of the story. With some added description and tweaks to the dialogue, it could be even stronger.

Suggestions 1. Use more active language: Some of the dialogue is passive, which can make the scene feel slow and stagnant. For example, "Miles looks up, squinting. Recognizes Cobb." Instead, try "Miles squints up and recognizes Cobb as he steps down past the empty wooden rows." This makes the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.

2. Add more physical descriptions: The scene could benefit from more physical description of the characters' actions and surroundings. This will help the scene come to life on the page. For example, instead of just saying "Cobb hands Miles the shopping bag," add details like "Cobb reaches into the shopping bag and pulls out a stuffed animal, handing it to Miles with a small smile."

3. Clarify character motivations: It's not always clear why the characters are saying or doing certain things in the scene. Make sure to clarify their motivations and the stakes of the conversation. For example, it's unclear why Miles decides to help Cobb at the end of the scene. Adding more context or dialogue can make this decision feel more earned and impactful.

4. Cut down on exposition: Some of the dialogue feels like it's explaining things to the audience rather than furthering the story or revealing character. Cut down on unnecessary exposition and focus on what's important for the scene and overall plot.

5. Play with the power dynamic: The scene could benefit from more tension and conflict between the characters. Try playing with the power dynamic between Cobb and Miles - maybe Miles is hesitant to help Cobb because of their past history, or maybe Cobb is trying to manipulate Miles into helping him. This will increase the stakes of the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.

Scene 11 - The Job Offer

INT. CORRIDOR - LATER

Miles and Cobb stand by as STUDENTS file out of a lecture.

MILES
Ariadne...

A young woman carrying books turns. This is ARIADNE.

MILES
I'd like you to meet Mr. Cobb.

She sizes him up with quick eyes. Offers her hand.

ARIADNE
Pleased to meet you.

MILES
If you have a few moments, Mr. Cobb
has a job offer to discuss with
you.

ARIADNE
A work placement?

COBB
(smiles
Not exactly.

EXT. ROOFTOP, ÉCOLE D'ARCHITECTURE - MOMENTS LATER

Ariadne leans against the parapet, overlooking Paris. She
unwraps a sandwich, watching Cobb pull out a pad of GRAPH
PAPER and a PEN. He offers them. She bites her sandwich.

COBB
A test.
29.

ARIADNE
(mouth full)
Aren't you going to tell me
anything?

COBB
Before I describe the job, I have
to know you could do it.

ARIADNE
Why?

COBB
It's not, strictly speaking, legal.

Ariadne raises her eyebrows.

COBB
You have two minutes to draw a maze
that takes me one minute to solve.

Ariadne takes the pad and pen. Cobb looks at his watch.

COBB
Go.

She starts DRAWING LINES on the grid, constructing a maze.

COBB
Stop.

Ariadne hands the pad and pen to Cobb. He glances at the pad,
then, looking her in the eye, TRACES the solution. She is
taken aback. Cobb RIPS off the sheet, hands the pad back.

COBB
Again.

She traces straight lines, CONCENTRATING...

COBB
Stop.

She hands Cobb the pad, a touch pleased. Cobb solves the
puzzle instantly, as before. Her smile falls.

COBB
You'll have to-

She GRABS the pad, frustrated... but this time she FLIPS it
over and starts drawing on the BLANK CARDBOARD of the back.
Cobb watches, surprised. He smiles as he sees that she's
drawing CIRCLES, creating a maze based on concentric rings.

Ariadne hands back the pad, defiant. Cobb takes the pen,
starts the maze. This time he gets stuck. Nods.
30.

COBB
(working the maze)
More like it.

EXT. NARROW STREET, PARIS - DAY

Arthur stops at a warehouse door. Consults a piece of paper.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

A large, dusty warehouse. The SLIDING DOOR cracks open.
Arthur enters. Looks around, approvingly.

INT. SAME - LATER

Arthur DRAGS LAWN CHAIRS into the middle of the room. He
erects a table. Lays out several SILVER CASES, unpacking
them, laying out lines of tubing, MECHANISMS...

Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb meets with Ariadne and offers her a job that involves drawing mazes. She must complete a timed test and impresses Cobb with her innovative approach to the task.

Strengths "The scene sets up an intriguing job offer for Ariadne and establishes her ability to think creatively. The setting of Paris is also visually striking."

Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat sparse and there is not a lot of character development."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-written. It effectively sets up the mystery around Cobb's job offer and gives us a glimpse into Ariadne's talents. However, there are a few areas that could benefit from some improvement.

Firstly, the scene could benefit from more visual description. For example, when Ariadne is drawing the maze, there isn't much description of what is happening visually beyond her drawing lines on a grid. Adding more detail to the visuals would make it easier for the reader to visualize the scene and feel more immersed in it.

Secondly, the dialogue could be improved in places. For example, when Cobb says "Not exactly" in response to Ariadne asking about a work placement, it's unclear what he means by that. Some further explanation of what he's offering and why it's not a standard work placement would help to clarify things.

Finally, the scene ends quite abruptly. It's unclear what Arthur is doing in the workshop with the silver cases and tubing, and it's not clear how this scene connects to the previous one. A clearer transition or more explanation would help to create a greater sense of continuity in the story.

Suggestions Overall this scene is well-written and engaging, but here are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Increase the tension: While the scene is already suspenseful to some degree, it can be intensified by emphasizing the stakes of Ariadne's test. Rather than just saying it's "not legal," Cobb could hint at potential danger or consequences if she fails. This will heighten the urgency of the scene and make the audience more invested in Ariadne's success.

2. Use visuals to enhance the action: In a movie script, it's important to use characters' physical actions and the environment to help tell the story. In this scene, there is a lot of potential for interesting visuals that could enhance the tension and intrigue. For example, Cobb could pace as he watches Ariadne draw, or the camera could zoom in on her hand as she makes crucial lines in the maze.

3. Develop the characters further: While the scene establishes the basic dynamic between Miles, Cobb, and Ariadne, there is still room to flesh out their personalities and motivations. Little details, like the way Ariadne reacts to Cobb's challenge or how Miles observes the interaction, can help reveal more about who these characters are and what drives them.

4. Consider the pacing: While the maze-building sequence is undoubtedly thrilling, it can also be quite lengthy. To keep the pacing flowing smoothly, it may be worth considering shortening some of the back-and-forth dialogue between Ariadne and Cobb, or finding other ways to condense the action without sacrificing its impact.

Scene 12 - Shared dreaming lesson

EXT. PARISIAN CAFE - DAY

Cobb and Ariadne sit at an outdoor table.

COBB
They say we only use a fraction of
the true potential of our brains...
but they're talking about when
we're awake. While we dream, the
mind performs wonders.

ARIADNE
Such as?

COBB
How do you imagine a building? You
consciously create each aspect,
puzzling over it in stages... But
sometimes, when your imagination
flies-

ARIADNE
I'm discovering it.

COBB
Exactly. Genuine inspiration.

Cobb leans forwards and draws on the paper table cloth.

COBB
In a dream your mind continuously
does that...

Cobb has drawn a circle made of two arrows.
31.

COBB
It creates and perceives a world
simultaneously. So well that you
don't feel your brain doing the
creating. That's why we can short-
circuit the process...

ARIADNE
How?

COBB
By taking over the creating part.

Cobb draws a straight line between the two arrows.

COBB
This is where you come in. You
build the world of the dream. We
take the subject into that dream,
and let him £111 it with his
subconscious

ARIADNE
But are you trying to fool him that
the dream is actually real life?

COBB
(nods)
While we're in there, We don't want
him to realize he's dreaming.

ARIADNE
How could I ever get enough detail
to Convince him that it's real?

COBB
Our dreams reel real while we're in
them. It's only when we wake up we
realize things were strange,

Ariadne gestures around them-

ARIADNE
But all the textures of real life-
the stone, the fabric. cars...
people... your mind can't create
all this.

COBB
It does. Every time you dream. Let
me ask you a question: You never
remember the beginning of your
dreams, do you? You just turn up in
the middle of what's going on.
32.

ARIADNE
I guess.

COBB
So... how did we end up at this
restaurant?

ARIADNE
We came here from...

Ariadne trails off, confused.

COBB
How did we get here? Where are we?

Ariadne THINKS, unable to remember. A FAINT RUMBLE begins.

ARIADNE
Oh my God. We're dreaming.

Cobb nods. The RUMBLE is BUILDING.

COBB
Stay calm. We're actually asleep in
the workshop. This is your first
lesson in shared dreaming,
remember?

Ariadne looks around, mind REELING. Cobb BRACES-

The restaurant VIOLENTLY FRAGMENTS, EXPLODING AND IMPLODING
PARTICLES OF FURNITURE, WALLS, PEOPLE FLYING AROUND- Ariadne
WONDERS at the MAYHEM WHIRLING around them- Cobb SHIELDS his
head against the debris. She sees him-

ARIADNE
(shouting over noise)
If it's just a dream, why are you
covering your-

Ariadne is WIPED FROM HER SEAT BY A MASSIVE BLAST and we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne JOLTS awake.

COBB (O.S.)
Because it's never just a dream.

Ariadne turns to Cobb's voice. They are both sitting in the
lawn chairs. Arthur watches over them.
33.

COBB
And a face full of glass hurts like
hell, doesn't it? While we're in
it, it's real.

ARTHUR
That's why the military developed
dream sharing-a training program
where soldiers could strangle, stab
and shoot each other, then wake up.

ARIADNE
How did architects get involved?

COBB
Someone had to design the dreams.
(to Arthur)
Let's go another five minutes-

ARIADNE
We were only asleep for five
minutes? We talked for an hour at
least...

COBB
When you dream, your mind functions
more quickly, so time seems to pass
more slowly.

ARTHUR
Five minutes in the real world
gives you an hour in the dream.

COBB
Let's see how much trouble you can
cause in five minutes.

And we-

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb explains to Ariadne how shared dreaming works and how they can take over the creating part of the dream to avoid the subject realizing they're dreaming. During the conversation, they realize they're already in a dream and experience a chaotic, violent explosion before waking up.

Strengths "The scene presents an intriguing concept of shared dreaming and the power of the subconscious mind, creating a sense of mystery and tension. The dialogue between the characters is engaging and thought-provoking."

Weaknesses "The scene may feel confusing and overwhelming due to the sudden explosion during the dream sequence, making the emotional impact less effective. Some viewers may find the exposition-heavy dialogue and lack of action in the scene boring."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique The dialogue in this scene is informative and sets up the concept of dream-sharing effectively. The characters' motivations and personalities are also clearly established. However, there are some issues with the formatting. Some of the character actions and the setting are not clearly described. For example, it is not clear how Cobb draws on the paper tablecloth. Additionally, the action lines and dialogue lack descriptive language, making it difficult for readers to visualize the scene and understand the characters' emotions. Adding more specific descriptions would help enhance the overall impact of the scene.

Suggestions Overall, this scene is well written and effectively conveys the concept of shared dreaming to the audience. However, here are some suggestions for improvement:

1. Show, don't tell: While Cobb's dialogue is informative, it's also a lot of exposition. Consider finding a way to visually demonstrate the concept of dream creation and perception instead of purely relying on dialogue. One way to do this could be through a surreal dream sequence.

2. Characterization: Currently, Ariadne mostly serves as a sounding board for Cobb's exposition. Consider giving her more agency and a distinct personality/dynamic in this scene.

3. Pacing: The explosion and chaotic dream sequence at the end of the scene provide a jarring tonal shift that may feel rushed. Consider building to this moment more gradually or re-arranging the scene to give it more room to breathe.

4. Setting: While the Parisian cafe is a charming backdrop, it doesn't play much of a role in the scene beyond being a general outdoor location. Consider using the setting to enhance the dialogue and action, or finding a more specific location that ties into the themes of the scene.

Scene 13 - Exploring Dream Architecture

EXT. SAME PARISIAN STREET - DAY

Ariadne walks down the crowded street with Cobb. Cobb looks
around at the street, the cafe, approving.

COBB
It's good. You've got the cafe, the
layout... you forgot the book shop
but pretty much everything else is
here.

Ariadne looks at the passers-by.

ARIADNE
Who are the people?
34.

COBB
They’re projections of my
subconscious.

ARIADNE
Yours?

COBB
Sure-you are the dreamer, I am the
subject. My subconscious populates
your world. That's one way we get
at a subject's thoughts-his mind
creates the people, so we can
literally talk to his subconscious.

ARIADNE
How else do you do it?

COBB
Architecture. Build a bank vault or
a jail, something secure, and the
subject's mind will fill it with
information he's trying to protect.

ARIADNE
Then you break in and steal it.

COBB
Exactly.

Ariadne wonders at the detail of the street.

ARIADNE
I love the concrete sense of things-
(stamps foot)
Real weight, you know? I thought a
dream space would be all about the
visual, but it's the feel of
things. Question is, what happens
as you start to mess with
physics...

She CONCENTRATES on the street. The street starts to BEND IN
HALF− the buildings on either side FOLDING IN until they form
the INSIDE OF A CUBE OF CITY, GRAVITY FUNCTIONING
INDEPENDENTLY ON EACH PLANE. Ariadne looks up (or down) at
the people on the opposite city surface. Cobb watches her
excitement.

ARIADNE
It's something, isn't it?

COBB
(quiet)
Yes. It is.
35.

As they walk, Ariadne notices more and more of the
projections STARING at her.

ARIADNE
Why are they looking at me?

COBB
Because you're changing things. My
subconscious feels that someone
else is creating the world. The
more you change things, the quicker
the projections converge on you.

ARIADNE
Converge?

COBB
They feel the foreign nature of the
dreamer, and attack-like white
blood cells fighting an infection.

ARIADNE
They're going to attack us?

COBB
Just you, actually.

They walk along the street to where it joins the next
gravitational plane. They step up onto the different plane
and walk down the street towards a river. As Ariadne
approaches, steps emerge from the flagstone, and she leads
Cobb up onto a small jetty. As she concentrates, pillars
emerge and a BRIDGE starts to telescope out from the jetty.
They step onto it as it grows. Cobb is impressed.

COBB
It's beautiful... but if you keep
on changing things...

People crossing the bridge STARE at Ariadne. Several of them
BUMP her shoulder as they pass.

ARIADNE
Mind telling your subconscious to
take it easy?

COBB
That’s why it’s called subconscious.
I don’t control it.

The bridge now spans the Seine. Cobb marvels at it.

COBB
Arched stone, iron pillars...
it's...
36.

Cobb pauses, thinking. Remembering.

INSERT CUT: Mal, hair blowing, turns to Cobb, smiling,
laughing. He smiles back. They are on the same bridge.

COBB
I know this bridge. This place is
real−
(serious)
You didn't imagine it, you
remembered it...

ARIADNE
(nods)
I cross it every day on my way to
the college.

COBB
Never recreate places from your
memory. Always imagine new places.

ARIADNE
You have to draw from what you know-

COBB
(tense)
Use pieces-a streetlamp,
phonebooths, a type of brick-not
whole areas.

Several people around them ECHO Cobb's attitude...

ARIADNE
Why not?

COBB
Because building dreams out of your
own memories is the surest way to
lose your grip on what's real and
what's a dream.

ARIADNE
Did that happen to you?

Cobb says nothing. He stands there, starinq at Ariadne.
PEOPLE around her stop and look at her, hostile.

COBB
Look, this isn't about me-

Cobb reaches for Ariadne's arm, turns her to him-

ARIADNE
Is that why you need me to build
your dreams?
37.

A passerby GRABS Ariadne's shoulder-

COBB
Leave her alone-

More of the crowd join in, PULLING at Ariadne, holding her
arms open- Cobb PULLS people off- the crowd PUSHES him away-
Cobb sees someone WALKING PURPOSEFULLY through the crowd
towards the helpless, Ariadne- it is Mal. She approaches with
even strides- Ariadne stares at her, uneasy.

ARIADNE
Wake me up, Cobb.

As Mal walks, she pulls out a LARGE KNIFE-

COBB
Mal, no!

ARIADNE
Wake me up!

Ariadne SCREAMS as Mal LUNGES at her with the knife and we-

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Ariadne and Cobb explore the intricacies of dream architecture and the dangers of creating dreams based on memories. As they walk, Ariadne's changes to the dream environment attract the attention of projections, leading to a confrontation with Cobb's deceased wife, Mal.

Strengths "The scene effectively conveys the dangers of manipulating dream architecture and demonstrates the escalating conflict between Ariadne and the projections. The pacing is well-done, with tension building up as the projections become more hostile towards Ariadne."

Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more character development, particularly with regards to Ariadne. The dialogue could also be stronger in some places, particularly in the confrontation with Mal."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene does a good job of establishing the rules of the dream world and the potential dangers that come with manipulating it. The dialogue effectively conveys the concepts of subconscious projections and dream architecture.

However, there are a couple of areas for improvement. The dialogue between Cobb and Ariadne feels a bit stilted and lacking in natural flow. It also feels like there could be more tension built as Ariadne starts to change the dream world and the projections begin to converge on her. Additionally, the sudden appearance of Mal and the knife at the end feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from some foreshadowing or buildup earlier in the scene.

Overall, this is a solid scene that effectively establishes the world and stakes of the story, but could use some fine-tuning in the dialogue and pacing departments.

Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description: The scene is heavy on dialogue, but it would benefit from more description to help the audience visualize what's happening. For example, when the street starts to bend, describe how it looks and feels. When the bridge is being built, describe the pillars and iron rods in more detail.

2. Develop the tension: The scene jumps from Ariadne being amazed by the dream world to the projections attacking her very quickly. It could benefit from a slower build-up to create a greater sense of tension. For example, show more passive aggression from the projections before they become violent.

3. Add more action: The scene relies too much on dialogue to convey information. It would benefit from more action to keep the audience engaged. For example, instead of just having Ariadne and Cobb walk down the street, have them dodge obstacles or interact with the environment more.

4. Develop the characters: The scene sets up an interesting dynamic between Ariadne, Cobb, and Mal, but it could be developed further. For example, show more of how Ariadne's curiosity clashes with Cobb's desire to control the dream world. Show how Mal's presence affects Cobb and his relationship with Ariadne.

Overall, the scene has potential, but it could benefit from more description, tension, action, and character development.

Scene 14 - The Importance of a Totem

INT. WORKSHOP-DAY

Ariadne WAKES, BREATHING HARD. Arthur moves to her-

ARTHUR
It's okay.

ARIADNE
Why couldn’t I wake?

ARTHUR
The only way to wake from inside
the dream is to die.

Cobb, in the lawn chair opposite, PULLS his tubes out.

COBB
She'll need a totem.

ARIADNE
What?

ARTHUR
Some kind of personal icon. A small
object that you can always have
with you, and that no one else
knows,

Cobb gets to his feet, Ariadne stares at him, furious. He
heads to the bathroom.
38.

ARIADNE
That's some subconscious you've
got, Cobb.
(calls after him)
She's a real charmer!

ARTHUR
Sounds like you've met Mrs. Cobb.

ARIADNE
(surprised)
She's his wife?

Arthur nods, pulling off Ariadne's tubes.

ARTHUR
So. A totem. You need something
small, potentially heavy...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb takes out his PEWTER SPINNING TOP, SPINS it on the
marble counter...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne looks at Arthur, puzzled.

ARIADNE
Like a coin?

ARTHUR
Too common. You need something that
has a weight or movement that only
you know.

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb STUDIES the spin of the top as it decays, becoming more
and more ECCENTRIC...

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

ARIADNE
What’s yours?

Arthur holds out a DIE.

ARTHUR
A loaded die.

Ariadne reaches for it- Arthur snatches sit away-
39.

ARTHUR
I can’t let you handle it. That’s
the point. No one else can know the
weight or balance of it.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
So when you examine your totem...

INT. BATHROOM, WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Cobb’s spinning top WOBBLES OVER.

ARTHUR (O.S.)
You know, beyond a doubt, that
you’re not in someone else’s dream.

Cobb GRABS it like a drowning man reaching for a lifeline.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne thinks this over.

ARIADNE
That’s not an issue for me.

ARTHUR
Why not?

ARIADNE
Arthur, maybe you can’t see what’s
going on, maybe you don’t want to.
But Cobb’s got problems he’s tried
to bury down there. I’m not going
to open my mind to someone like
that.

Ariadne gets to her feet. Walks away.

COBB (O.S.)
She’ll be back.

Arthur turns. Cobb is standing in the bathroom doorway.

COBB
I’ve never seen anyone pick it up
so fast. And one reality won’t be
enough for her now. When she comes
back, get her building mazes.

ARTHUR
Where will you be?
40.

COBB
I’ve got to talk to Eames.

ARTHUR
Eames? But he’s in Mombasa. Cobol’s
backyard.

COBB
Necessary risk.

ARTHUR
There are plenty of other thieves.

COBB
We don’t just need a thief. We need
a forger.

Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb explains the concept of a totem to Ariadne, while Arthur helps her pick one. Meanwhile, Cobb leaves to talk to Eames, a necessary risk for their plan.

Strengths "The scene efficiently explains the use of the totem and sets up Cobb's meeting with Eames"

Weaknesses "Not much character development or emotional impact in the scene"

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is strong in terms of storytelling and character development. The dialogue is clear and the actions are specific, giving the scene a sense of forward momentum. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

One area to consider is the pacing of the scene. It moves quickly from topic to topic, potentially leaving some viewers behind. Slowing down the pace or breaking up the dialogue with actions or reactions could help with clarity.

Another area to consider is the clarity of the language. While the dialogue is clear, some of the technical terms (such as "totem," "forger," and "maze") could benefit from a bit more explanation or context.

Additionally, the scene could benefit from a bit more visual description. While the actions are clear, there is little detail given about the setting or characters, which could make it harder for viewers to fully immerse themselves in the scene.

Overall, this scene is strong but could be improved with a bit of attention to pacing, clarity, and visual description.

Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more specific character actions and reactions to enhance the emotion and tension in the scene. For example, instead of just having Ariadne say, “That’s some subconscious you’ve got, Cobb,” show her throwing something at him in anger or storming out of the room.

2. Clarify the stakes of the scene. What happens if Ariadne doesn’t get a totem? What is at risk? This will make the audience more invested in the scene and create a sense of urgency.

3. Consider adding more visual elements to help the audience understand the concept of the totem. For example, show a close-up of Arthur’s loaded die or Cobb’s spinning top to emphasize their importance.

4. Streamline the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful. Remove any unnecessary exposition or repetition of information.

5. Make sure each character’s dialogue is distinct and reflects their personality. For example, Cobb may speak in more cryptic and intense language, while Arthur may be more matter-of-fact and straightforward.

6. Consider adding more sensory details to help the audience visualize the scene. What does the workshop look and smell like? What is the lighting like? This will create a more immersive experience for the audience.

Scene 15 - Showdown at the Gambling Den

INT. GAMBLING DEN, MOMBASA - DAY

Crowded, bustling, smoke-filled. a westerner (40’s), shabby
suit, is squeezed in at a dice game. This is EAMES. He
FIDDLES with his last two chips.

COBB (O.S.)
Rub them against each other all you
like, they’re not going to breed.

Eames looks up to see Cobb.

EAMES
You never know.

Eames tosses down his last chips. The dice are rolled...

COBB
Drink?

Eames loses.

EAMES
You’re buying.

Cobb follows Eames. Eames mysteriously produces two stacks of
chips and puts them down in front of the cashier. Cobb pulls
one off the top, squints at the embossed name.

COBB
You’re spelling hasn’t improved.

Eames GRABS the chip. Hands it to the cashier.

EAMES
Piss off.

COBB
How’s your handwriting?
41.

Eames takes his money. Smiles at Cobb.

EAMES
Versatile.

INT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Eames leads Cobb down the quiet street.

EAMES
Word is, you’re not welcome in
these parts.

COBB
Yeah?

EAMES
There’s a price on your head from
Cobol Engineering. Pretty big one,
actually.

COBB
You wouldn’t sell me out.

Eames looks at Cobb, offended.

EAMES
‘Course I would.

COBB
(smiles)
Not when you hear what I’m selling.

Genres: ["crime","drama"]

Summary Eames and Cobb reconnect at a gambling den in Mombasa. After losing his last chips, Eames mysteriously produces two stacks of chips and puts them down in front of the cashier. Cobb follows Eames out of the den where Eames reveals there's a price on Cobb's head and threatens to sell him out to Cobol Engineering. Cobb smirks at the tension between them.

Strengths "Well-written dialogue that builds tension between the characters.\nCinematic location and atmosphere."

Weaknesses "Lack of action and plot progression in this scene."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique This scene is well written and establishes the characters of Eames and Cobb with clear dialogue and actions. The setting of a gambling den in Mombasa is vividly described and sets an intriguing tone. However, there could be more subtext and tension in the dialogue between Eames and Cobb. The reveal of the price on Cobb's head could feel more impactful if there was more of a build-up to it, or if there were hints of tension and distrust between the two characters before this point. Overall, this scene effectively establishes the characters and setting, but could benefit from higher stakes and more implied conflict.

Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more description to the setting: While it's clear that the gambling den is crowded and smoke-filled, adding more sensory details can help transport the audience into the scene. What type of people are in the den? What type of furniture and decor is there? What does it smell like besides smoke? Adding more details can help the audience feel immersed in the location.

2. Develop the relationship between Eames and Cobb: Currently, the dynamic between Eames and Cobb is hinted at but not fully developed. There's potential for a more interesting relationship between the two characters, so consider adding in more dialogue that fleshes out their history and dynamic.

3. Make the stakes of the gambling scene clearer: Right now, it's not entirely clear what's at stake in the game of dice. Adding more description or dialogue to explain what Eames stands to win or lose can make the scene more engaging.

4. Cut down on the on-the-nose dialogue: Lines like "Your spelling hasn't improved" or "How's your handwriting?" feel a bit forced and don't add much to the scene. Consider cutting them or finding more creative ways to convey the same information.

5. Add more tension: Finally, consider adding more tension to the scene. Right now, it feels like a low-stakes conversation between two acquaintances. Adding in more conflict or danger can make the scene more compelling and help move the plot forward.

Scene 16 - Escape from Mombasa

EXT. BALCONY OF A COFFEE HOUSE - LATER

A ramshackle balcony overlooking a bust street. Eames pours.

COBB
Inception.

Eames’s glass stops halfway to his mouth.

COBB
Don’t bother telling me it’s
impossible.

EAMES
It’s perfectly possible. Just
bloody difficult.

COBB
That’s what I keep saying to
Arthur.
42.

EAMES
Arthur? You’re still working with
that stick-in-the-mud?

COBB
He’s a good point man.

EAMES
The best. But he has no
imagination. If you’re going to
perform inception, you need
imagination.

COBB
You’ve done it before?

EAMES
Yeas and no. We tried it. Got the
idea in place, but it didn’t take.

COBB
You didn’t plant it deep enough?

EAMES
It’s not just about depth. You need
the simplest version of the idea-
the one that will grow naturally in
the subject’s mind. Subtle art.

COBB
That’s why I’m here.

EAMES
What’s the idea you need to plant?

COBB
We want the heir to a major
corporation to break up his
father’s empire.

EAMES
See, right there you’ve got various
political motivations, anti-
monopolistic sentiment and so
forth. But all that stuff’s at the
mercy of the subject’s prejudice-
you have to go to the basic.

COBB
Which is?

EAMES
The relationship with the father.
(downs drink)
Do you have a chemist?
43.

Cobb shakes his head.

EAMES
There’s a man here. Yusuf. He
formulates his own versions of the
compounds.

COBB
Let’s go see him.

EAMES
Once you’ve lost your tail.
(Cobb reacts)
Back by the bar, blue tie. Came in
about two minutes after we did.

COBB
Cobol Engineering?

EAMES
They pretty much own Mombasa.

Cobb glances over the balcony.

COBB
Run interference. We’ll meet
downstairs in half an hour.

EAMES
Back here?

COBB
Last place they’d expect.

Eames downs his drink. Rises. Walks over to the Businessman.

EAMES
Freddy!

The Businessman looks up, awkward.

EAMES
Freddy Simmonds, it is you!

Cobb nonchalantly SLIPS over the balcony DROPPING HARD into
the midst of the crowd on the street below.

EAMES
(looks harder)
Oh. No, it isn’t.

EXT. STREET, MOMBASA - CONTINUOUS

Cobb stands up, PUSHES into the crowd- faces PEER at him- he
moves, trying to blend- TURNS- a SECOND BUSINESS MAN is
there.
44.

COBB
(disarming smile)
Yes?

SECOND BUSINESSMAN
We need to-

Cobb HEAD BUTTS the Second Businessman, PUSHES past him-

The First Businessman races out of the bar, sees Cobb's wake,
DIVES after him- Cobb RACES headlong through tight
passageways, WEAVING through or KNOCKING into the locals...

He steps into a dark, crowded cafe, scanning the tables...
the First Businessman enters, spots him. An AFRICAN MAN gets
in Cobb's face, jabbering at him in Swahili- Cobb considers
his options... the First Businessman DRAWS A GUN- Cobb bolts,
steps up on a table and out an open window, SCRAMBLING into
the alley outside...

Cobb LOOKS left, right... CUTS LEFT into a narrow, CROWDED
alley- the alley NARROWS TO A DEAD END. Faces in the CROWD
start to watch Cobb- PEOPLE start to SURROUND him- Cobb looks
back the way he came- the two Businessmen are there, GUNS
DRAWN-

Cobb sees a SMALL GAP between the buildings at the narrow end-
he THROWS himself into it- gets STUCK HALFWAY...

The crowd bears down, GRABBING for him as Cobb struggles to
SQUEEZE HIMSELF through the gap... Cobb's moving INCHES as
his pursuers gain YARDS... the Crowd is upon him... he BURSTS
FREE. TUMBLING onto the next street, ROLLING out of sight.

Cobb Jumps to his feet- in a market square. TWO MORE
BUSINESSMEN move towards him. Cobb BOLTS but a CAR SKIDS UP,
BLOCKS HIS PATH- the door opens- SAITO IS IN THE BACK.

SAITO
Care for a lift, Mr. Cobb?

COBB
(jumping in)
What brings you to Mombasa, Mr.
Saito?

SAITO
I have to protect my investment.

EXT. COFFEE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Eames stands on the pavement. The car pulls up. Cobb beckons
from the rear window. Eames looks at Saito. Back to Cobb.

EAMES
This is your idea of losing a tail?
45.

COBB
(shrugs)
Different tail.

Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Cobb and Eames meet to discuss the possibility of inception, but are interrupted by Cobol Engineering, who is after them. Cobb escapes a chase through Mombasa, meeting Saito at the end. Eames is skeptical about Cobb's idea of losing a tail.

Strengths

Well-written action scene
Raises the stakes for the characters while also revealing more about their personalities
Keeps the plot moving forward

Weaknesses

Limited emotional impact
Character descriptions are not as detailed as they could be
Dialogue is strong, but not particularly memorable

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique The scene starts with an establishing shot of the balcony, but it is not very descriptive. It could benefit from a clearer, more vivid description of the scene.

The dialogue between Cobb and Eames is well written and establishes their characters and their role in the story. However, the conversation feels a bit exposition heavy. The script would benefit from showing the audience more about the idea of inception rather than just telling them.

The action scenes are well written and engaging. However, some of the transitions between scenes could be smoother, especially towards the end of the scene. Additionally, some of the actions, like Cobb's headbutt, are abrupt and come out of nowhere. They could be set up better with more context.

Overall, the dialogue and action are solid, but the scene could use some more descriptive language and smoother transitions. The exposition-heavy dialogue could also be improved with more show and less tell.

Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual descriptions to help set the tone and atmosphere of the location. For example, adding details about the sights, smells, and sounds of the busy street below the balcony could help immerse the viewer and make the setting feel more real. Additionally, some action lines could be condensed or simplified to streamline the scene and help it flow better. For instance, instead of describing every move Cobb makes while escaping his pursuers, the scene could focus on the key moments that are essential to the plot. Finally, some more dialogue could be added to further develop the characters and their relationships, such as exploring the dynamic between Cobb, Eames, and Saito.

Scene 17 - Paradoxical Architecture

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Arthur sits at the table, working on a mechanism. A small
COUGH prompts him to look up: Ariadne is there.

ARTHUR
He said you'd be back.

ARIADNE
I tried not to come.

ARTHUR
But there's nothing else quite like
it.

ARIADNE
No paper, no pens... nothing
between you and raw, direct
creation.

Arthur picks up his mechanism.

ARTHUR
Shall we take a look at paradoxical
architecture?

Ariadne nods, takes off her coat and we-

CUT TO:

INT. PENROSE STEPS - LATER

Arthur leads Ariadne down some busy steps in a large glass
and steel ATRIUM in an office complex.

ARTHUR
You're going to have to master a
few tricks if you're going to build
three complete dream levels.

A SECRETARY DROPS some papers as they pass...

ARIADNE
What sort of tricks?

They take a tight turn and continue down the next flight.

ARTHUR
In a dream, you can cheat
architecture into impossible
shapes.
(MORE)
46.
ARTHUR (CONT'D)
That lets you create closed loops,
like the Penrose Steps. The
infinite staircase.

Ariadne FREEZES- THEY ARE IN THE EXACT SPOT THEY STARTED
DESCENDING FROM, next to the Secretary gathering her papers.

Ariadne puzzles at the impossible construction of the stairs.

ARTHUR
See...

Arthur stops her gently- they are on the highest step, with a
LARGE DROP to the next step. Arthur gestures at the drop.

ARTHUR
Paradox. A closed loop like this
helps you disguise the boundaries
of the dream you've created.

ARIADNE
How big do the levels have to be?

ARTHUR
Anything from the floor of a
building, to an entire city. But it
has to be complicated enough for us
to hide from the projections.

ARIADNE
A maze.

ARTHUR
And the better the maze-

ARIADNE
The longer we have before the
projections catch us.

Ariadne looks around. Sees people LOOKING at Arthur.

ARIADNE
My subconscious seems polite
enough.

ARTHUR
You wait, they'll turn ugly. No one
likes to see someone else messing
around in their mind.

ARIADNE
Cobb can't build anymore, can he?
47.

ARTHUR
I don't know if he can't, but he
won't. He thinks it's safer if he
doesn't know the layouts.

ARIADNE
Why?

ARTHUR
He won't tell me. I think it's Mal.
I think she's getting stronger.

ARIADNE
His ex-wife?

ARTHUR
She's not his ex.

ARIADNE
They're still together?

Arthur turns to Ariadne. Gentle.

ARTHUR
No. No, she's dead, Ariadne. What
you see in there is just his
projection of her.

ARIADNE
What was she like in real life?

ARTHUR
(quiet)
She was lovely.

CUT TO:

Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Arthur teaches Ariadne about creating impossible shapes and closed loops in dreams to disguise the boundaries of the dream, while also warning her about the dangers of being caught by projections. He reveals that Cobb's ex-wife, who appears in his dreams, is dead and that she is just his projection.

Strengths "The scene reveals important information about the plot and Cobb's backstory while also setting up the concept of paradoxical architecture. The dialogue is engaging and informative, and the scene has a strong emotional impact."

Weaknesses "The scene is primarily focused on exposition and information and lacks significant action."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue between Arthur and Ariadne effectively establishes their dynamic and hints at potential conflicts to come. The introduction of paradoxical architecture is intriguing and serves to deepen the audience's understanding of the film's world. However, the scene could benefit from more description of the setting and actions to create a clearer visual picture for the audience. Additionally, there is a missed opportunity to show rather than tell when it comes to the Penrose Steps. Instead of having Arthur explain the concept, it could be more impactful to visually demonstrate it in real time.

Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Have more visual descriptions to enhance the setting. Instead of just saying "a large glass and steel ATRIUM in an office complex," add more details about the surroundings to make it come alive for the reader. Is there natural light streaming through the windows? Are there people bustling around in the background? These details can help create a more immersive experience for the reader.

2. Try to avoid too much exposition. While it's important to convey information to the audience, there are more engaging ways to do it than through dialogue that feels like it's just explaining things. Maybe have Ariadne discover some of these tricks alongside Arthur, rather than having him tell her everything.

3. Develop the characters a bit more. We don't know much about Arthur or Ariadne at this point, so this is a good opportunity to reveal a little more about them. For example, you could show their personalities through how they interact with each other - are they lighthearted or serious? Do they have different approaches to problem-solving?

4. Consider adding some conflict or tension to the scene. Right now, it feels like a fairly straightforward information dump. Adding some obstacles or challenges (even just small ones) can make it more engaging and keep the audience invested.

5. Lastly, think about pacing. While this is an important scene for exposition, it's still important to keep the pacing from becoming too slow. You could achieve this by breaking the scene up into smaller sections with action beats or cutting away to other scenes briefly before coming back to this one.

Scene 18 - Corporate Espionage

EXT. ROOFTOP, OLD TOWN, MOMBASA - DAY

Saito deposits a FILE in front of Cobb: PHOTOS, DOCUMENTS. As
Cobb runs through them, he passes them to Eames.

SAITO
Robert Fischer, 32. Heir to the
Fischer Morrow energy conglomerate.
He's spent his whole life being
groomed as successor-breaking up
his father's empire will take a
radical shift in his thinking.

COBB
What's your problem with Fischer?

SAITO
That's not your concern.
48.

COBB
This isn't the usual corporate
espionage, Mr. Saito. This is
inception. The seed of the idea we
plant will grow in this man's mind.
It'll change him. It might even
come to define him.

Saito looks at Cobb.

SAITO
My sources suggest you might not
have always been so cautious.

COBB
Then you need new sources, Mr.
Saito.

Saito considers Cobb. Shrugs.

SAITO
Fischer Morrow has the regulators
in their pockets. We're the last
company standing between them and
total energy dominance and we can
no longer compete. Soon they'll
control the energy supply of half
the world. They'll be able to
blackmail governments, dictate
policy. In effect, they become a
new superpower. The world needs
Robert Fischer to change his mind.

EAMES
That's where we come in. How's
Robert Fischer's relationship to
his father?

SAITO
Rumor is the relationship is
complicated.

COBB
We'll need more than rumor, Mr.
Saito.

Eames picks up a photo: a distinguished executive (68).

EAMES
Can you get me access to him?
Browning. Fischer senior's right-
hand man. Fischer junior's
godfather.
49.

SAITO
It should be possible. If you can
get the right references.

EAMES
References are something of a
specialty for me, Mr. Saito.

EXT. DECREPIT BUILDING, MOMBASA - LATER

Eames leads Cobb and Saito down uneven steps to a doorway.

INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

Peeling paint, buzzing flies. They ascend to a dusty,
wire-reinforced glass door which Eames pushes open-

Genres: ["thriller","drama"]

Summary Saito hires Cobb and his team to perform inception on Robert Fischer, convincing him to break up his father's energy conglomerate. To do so, they need to find out more about Fischer's complicated relationship with his father, and Eames is tasked with getting access to Fischer's godfather.

Strengths "The dialogue is engaging, particularly the debate between Cobb and Saito about the morality of inception. The scene sets up the main plot of the film and introduces the characters' motivations well."

Weaknesses "The setting and description of the decrepit building are generic and not very interesting."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the central conflict of the story. The dialogue is clear and concise, and we learn important information about the character's goals and motivations.

One potential area for improvement is in the characterization of Saito. At this point in the story, we don't know much about him, and his motivations for wanting to carry out this inception plan are somewhat unclear. It may be helpful to include more details about his background and stakes in the success of this operation.

Additionally, while the dialogue provides exposition, there is little action or movement in the scene. Including more sensory details or physical actions could help to create a more dynamic scene. For example, we could see the characters walking through the decrepit building rather than just arriving at the door. This would also help to create a stronger sense of place and atmosphere.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the central conflict of the story and provides important information about the characters and their motivations. With a few tweaks to the characterization and action, it could be even stronger.

Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more visual and sensory details to create a stronger sense of place and atmosphere. For example, what does the rooftop look and feel like - is it hot and sunny or cloudy and windy? Is it noisy or quiet? Adding these details can help the audience feel more immersed in the scene. Additionally, the dialogue could use some more subtext and nuance - perhaps Saito could be more evasive or cryptic about his real motivations, and Cobb could have some hesitation or doubt about the mission. Adding these layers of complexity can make the scene more engaging and suspenseful.

Scene 19 - Meeting with Yusuf

INT. PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Row upon row of wooden shelves holding hundreds of dusty
glass bottles of all shapes and colors. At the far end, a
portly 40-year-old man rises from behind his desk, beckoning.
This is YUSUF.

YUSUF
Come, come.

Eames shakes Yusuf's hand. Yusuf stops at Cobb.

YUSUF
Ah, yes. Mr. Cobb. I've heard so
very much about you.
(indicates chairs)
please.

Yusuf chases a CAT off Saito's chair.

YUSUF
Bloody cats.

Yusuf moves to a shelf and runs his fingers over the glass
bottles. None of them has a label.

YUSUF
You work using Somnacin, I think,
Mr. Cobb?

COBB
You're well informed, Mr. Yusuf.

Yusuf places a bottle on the desk in front of Cobb.
50.

COBB
(dubious)
Somnacin?

YUSUF
(proudly)
Yusuf's Somnacin.

Yusuf pulls the stopper, holds it towards Cobb's nose.

COBB
As good as the real thing?

Yusuf WHIPS the bottle away from Cobb, offended.

YUSUF
Better.

Yusuf holds the bottle to the light, marveling.

YUSUF
Binds the dreamers tight. Let's
them dream as one. Makes it real.
Of course, if you'd prefer, you
could use Somnacin brand. If you
could explain to the international
control council what you wanted it
for.

Yusuf puts the bottle back onto the shelf. Sits.

YUSUF
You are seeking a chemist?
(Cobb nods)
To formulate compounds for a job?

COBB
And to come into the held with us.

YUSUF
I rarely go into the held, Mr.
Cobb.

COBB
We need you there to tailor
compounds to our particular
requirements.

YUSUF
Which are?

COBB
Great depth.

YUSUF
A dream within a dream? Two levels?
51.

COBB
Three.

YUSUF
Not possible. That many dreams
within dreams would be too
unstable.

COBB
I've done it before. You just have
to add a sedative.

YUSUF
A powerful sedative. How many team
members?

COBB
Five.

SAITO
Six.
(to Cobb)
The only way to know you've done
the job is if I go in with you.

COBB
There's no room for tourists on
these jobs, Mr. Saito.

SAITO
This time, it would seem there is.

Cobb looks at him, uneasy. Yusuf pulls out another bottle.

YUSUF
Of course. I use it every day.

Yusuf hands it to Cobb, who considers the white liquid
inside.

COBB
For what?

Yusuf beckons them further into the pharmacy, to a METAL
DOOR. He STOPS- second thoughts.

YUSUF
Perhaps... you will not want to
see.

Cobb motions to continue. Yusuf pulls out a large key.
52.

Genres: ["Thriller","Action"]

Summary Cobb, Saito, and Eames meet with the chemist Yusuf to obtain the necessary compounds for their multi-level dream job. Yusuf shows them his Somnacin, an even better version of the dream-inducing compound they need for the job. Yusuf is hesitant to join them in the dream job but ultimately agrees when he realizes the depth of their plan.

Strengths "The chemistry and dream job concepts are intriguing and suspenseful. Yusuf is an interesting character with his Somnacin."

Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more action or tension."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that the scene is well-written. The setting is established well, and the characters are introduced in a clear and concise manner. Yusuf's character is particularly interesting, with his obsession with his own Somnacin and his reluctance to enter the dream world. The use of the cat as a comedic element is also effective.

One area for improvement could be to make the dialogue more concise. There are moments where the characters repeat information or state the obvious, which can slow down the pace of the scene. For example, Yusuf saying "bloody cats" and then chasing the cat off Saito's chair feels like unnecessary filler.

Another way to improve the scene might be to introduce more tension or conflict. While Saito's presence is a source of tension, it doesn't feel fully explored in this scene. Adding in some more friction between the characters, or introducing a new conflict, could heighten the drama and make the scene more engaging.

Overall, however, the scene does its job of setting up the necessary information for the story and introducing some interesting characters. With some minor tweaks, it could be even stronger.

Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Introduce the characters using visual cues: Instead of relying on dialogue to introduce the characters, show us what they look like and how they behave. For example, you could describe Yusuf's appearance and mannerisms as he rises from behind his desk.

2. Use more sensory descriptions: The scene could be more immersive if you included more sensory details. For example, describe the smell of the dusty glass bottles or the sound of the cat running away.

3. Make the stakes clearer: The conversation between Yusuf, Cobb, and Saito could be more tense and engaging if the stakes were clearer. For example, what happens if they don't get the compounds right? What's at stake for each character?

4. Consider breaking up the dialogue: The scene includes a lot of dialogue without much action. Consider breaking it up with descriptions of the characters' movements or reactions.

5. Clarify the goals of each character: It's not entirely clear what each character wants from the scene. Yusuf seems to be trying to sell his Somnacin, but what about Cobb and Saito? What are their goals in this conversation? Adding more clarity to their motivations could make the scene more engaging.

Scene 20 - Dreamers' Reality

INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

A dark room with ROWS of low COTS. Each with a sleeping
occupant. Tubes connect their wrists. An ELDERLY BALD MAN
watches over them.

EAMES
(counting)
Eighteen, twenty-all connected,
bloody hell.

YUSUF
They come every day. To share the
dream.

Yusuf nods at the Elderly Bald Man, who moves to the nearest
bed. Reaches out to the OCCUPANT. Gives his face a FIRM SLAP.
The sleeper does not even stir.

YUSUF
See? Very stable.

COBB
How long do they dream?

YUSUF
Three, four hours. Every day.

COBB
How long in dream time?

YUSUF
With this compound... about forty
hours. Each and every day.

Saito surveys the room, appalled.

SAITO
Why do they do it?

YUSUF
Tell him, Mr. Cobb.

COBB
After a while...
(looks at Saito)
It becomes the only way you can
dream.

YUSUF
Do you still dream, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb STARES at the sleepers. Uneasy.

EAMES
They come here every day to sleep?
53.

ELDERLY BALD MAN (O.S.)
No.

Cobb turns to the Elderly Bald Man, who looks fondly at his
dreamers.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
They come to be woken up... the
dream has become their reality...

The Elderly Bald Man pokes a crooked finger at Cobb's chest.

ELDERLY BALD MAN
And who are you to say otherwise?

Cobb STARES at the Elderly Bald Man. DISTURBED. Cobb turns to
Yusuf. TOSSES him the bottle.

COBB
Let's see what you can do.

INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER

Cobb is lying on an empty cot, asleep. Yusuf stands over him.
As we move in on Cobb's SLEEPING FACE we hear the sound of a
FREIGHT TRAIN, BUILDING, and we-

CUT TO:

EXT. WASTELAND - DAY

CLOSE ON Cobb's face as he lies, EYES CLOSED, cheek pressed
to a METAL RAIL- THE SOUND OF THE TRAIN IS DEAFENING- Cobb is
BREATHING, BREATHING, BREATHING, and we-

CUT TO:

INT. BACK ROOM, PHARMACY - DAY

Cobb's eyes open. Yusuf is watching him.

YUSUF
Sharp, no?

Cobb nods. Gets to his feet, looking around-

INT. BATHROOM, PHARMACY - CONTINUOUS

Cobb SPLASHES water on his face, breathing hard- INSERT CUT:
A CURTAIN BILLOWS. MAL TURNS TO US, HAIR BLOWING, SMILING.
Cobb fumbles in his pockets, pulls out his spinning top. He
tries to set it spinning on the back edge of the sink, but it
FALLS to the floor and rolls towards the door- Saito is
there. WATCHING Cobb. He looks down at the spinning top.
54.

SAITO
Everything alright, Mr. Cobb?

Cobb dries his face with a paper towel. Picks up his top.

COBB
Everything's fine.

INT. BACK ROOM, WORKSHOP - NIGHT

Close on a small BRASS CHESS PIECE. Ariadne tips it over.
Frowning, she picks up a micro drill, peels back the felt on
the bottom and widens a hole in one side of its base. Tests
the TIPPING POINT again. A NOISE makes her look up.

Genres: ["Thriller","Drama","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Cobb and his team visit a backroom pharmacy where people share a dream every day for several hours using a special compound. The dream has become their reality, and they do it every day. The team observes and experiences the dream.

Strengths "The concept of sharing a dream using a special compound is intriguing. The scene raises questions about the nature of reality and how our brains can be manipulated. The tension between Cobb and the Elderly Bald Man adds an interesting dynamic to the scene."

Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more action or tension to keep the audience engaged. Some of the dialogue could be tightened."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively conveys the concept of shared dreaming, as well as the consequences and addictive nature of it. However, some areas could be improved upon.

Firstly, the visuals could be strengthened to create a clearer picture in the audience's mind. For example, describing the tubes in more detail or the atmosphere of the room would make the scene more immersive.

Secondly, the dialogue in the scene could be more natural and realistic. While the characters have distinct personalities, some of their lines come off as stiff and scripted. This could be improved through more casual dialogue or adding small interactions between the characters.

Lastly, the transition between different dream levels could be smoother. The jump from Cobb's sleeping face to the wasteland is a bit jarring, and adding a more gradual transformation or establishing shot could make the transition more seamless.

Overall, the scene effectively sets up the concept of shared dreaming and the addiction that comes with it, but could benefit from stronger visuals, more natural dialogue, and smoother transitions.

Suggestions 1. Add more visual description to the opening shot of the back room of the pharmacy to give the audience more of an understanding of the atmosphere and tone.

2. Increase the tension and stakes in the conversation between Yusuf, Cobb, and Saito about the dreamers, perhaps by adding more conflict or layers to their motivations and goals.

3. Expand on the character of the Elderly Bald Man and his relationship to the dreamers, as well as his perspective on their situation.

4. Make the transition between the dream sequences and the waking world smoother and more seamless, so that the audience can better follow the storytelling without getting confused.

5. Provide more details about the mechanics and implications of the dream-sharing technology, to further immerse the audience in the film's worldbuilding.

Scene 21 - Cobb's Secrets

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

Ariadne comes into the main space. Someone is there,
unpacking one of the MECHANISMS. Cobb.

ARIADNE
You're back.

Cobb looks up with a start. Caught out.

ARIADNE
Are you going under on your own?

COBB
I just-I need to test some things.
I didn't realize anyone was here.

ARIADNE
Just working on my totem.

Ariadne holds up the chess piece. Cobb reaches for it.

COBB
Let me see-

Ariadne SNAPS it out of his reach. Smiles. Cobb nods.

COBB
You're learning.

ARIADNE
It's an elegant solution to keeping
track of reality. Your invention?

COBB
No. Mal's.

Cobb pulls out his spinning top. Looks at it.
55.

COBB
This one was hers. She'd spin it in
a dream and it would never topple.
Just spin and spin...

ARIADNE
Arthur told me she died.

COBB
She did. How are the mazes coming?

Ariadne indicates three large ARCHITECTURAL MODELS.

ARIADNE
Good. Each level relates to the
part of the subject's subconscious
we're trying to access. I'm making
the bottom level a hospital, so
that Fischer will bring his father
there-

COBB
Don't tell me. Remember, you only
want the dreamer to know the
layout.

ARIADNE
Why's that so important?

COBB
In case one of us brings in part of
our subconscious. You wouldn't want
any projections knowing the layout.

ARIADNE
In case you bring Mal in.

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
You won't build yourself because if
you know the maze, then she knows
it. And she'd sabotage the
operation. You can't keep her out,
can you?

Cobb says nothing.

ARIADNE
Do the others know?

COBB
No.
56.

ARIADNE
You have to warn them if it's
getting worse-

COBB
(gentle)
I didn't say it's getting worse.
Look, Ariadne, I need them for this
job. I need you for this job.
Without your help, I'll never get
back to my children. And that's all
I can care about right now.

ARIADNE
Why can't you go home, Cobb?

Cobb looks at her, deciding what to say.

COBB
They think I killed her.

ARIADNE
How did she die?

Cobb thinks.

INSERT CUT: Mal, wind BLOWING her hair, smiles at Cobb. Now
we see Cobb- SHAKING HIS HEAD, TEARS STREAMING, BEGGING-

COBB
Thank you.

ARIADNE
For what?

COBB
Not asking whether I did.

Genres: ["thriller","drama"]

Summary Ariadne discovers that Cobb is testing some things and going under on his own. They discuss the importance of keeping the maze layout secret and Cobb's inability to go home due to his wife's death.

Strengths "The scene is well-written with emotional depth and character development."

Weaknesses "The lack of conflict and action may make it slow for some audiences."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 8

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, this is a well-written scene with strong character development and exposition. The dialogue feels natural and flows smoothly, giving the audience insight into the character's motivations and backstories. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

1. Action description: There could be more detail in the action description to give a better sense of the environment and character movements. For example, instead of just saying "Ariadne comes into the main space," it could be more descriptive, such as "Ariadne enters the dimly lit workshop, her footsteps echoing on the concrete floor." This helps to set the scene and make it more immersive.

2. Pacing: While the dialogue is well-written, there are instances where the scene drags on a bit. For example, the exchange about the spinning top could be shortened or cut altogether, as it doesn't add much to the overall plot or character development.

3. Visuals: As a screenwriter, it's important to consider how the scene will look on screen. In this case, there are opportunities to incorporate more visual elements to make it more dynamic. For example, instead of just talking about the architectural models, we could see them on the table or being manipulated by Ariadne as she talks. This helps to break up the dialogue and keep the audience engaged.

Overall, this is a strong scene that could benefit from a few tweaks to make it even better.

Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Show, don't tell: The scene has a lot of exposition and dialogue that explains what's happening. Try to find a way to show the audience what's going on instead of just telling them. For example, instead of having Cobb say, "I need them for this job," show the audience why he needs them and what's at stake.

2. Add conflict: The scene lacks conflict, which makes it feel flat and uninteresting. Try to add some tension between Ariadne and Cobb, or between Cobb and someone else in the room. Alternatively, you could introduce a problem or obstacle that needs to be overcome.

3. Develop the characters: Although we learn a little bit about Cobb's backstory, we don't really get a sense of who he is as a person. Try to develop the characters more so that the audience cares about them and is invested in their journey.

4. Simplify the dialogue: Some of the dialogue feels a little clunky and unnatural. Try to simplify the dialogue and make it more conversational so that it sounds like something real people would say.

5. Use visual storytelling: The scene mostly consists of characters talking in a workshop. Try to find ways to use visual storytelling to make the scene more interesting. For example, you could have Cobb testing one of the mechanisms while he talks to Ariadne, or show some of the architectural models they're discussing.

Scene 22 - Planting the Idea

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

Ariadne, Arthur, Yusuf, Eames and Saito sit around the room,
looking at FILES. Cobb presides.

COBB
The mark is Robert Fischer, heir to
the Australian energy conglomerate,
Fischer Morrow.

Cobb opens a large presentation pad.

COBB (reads aloud)
"I WILL SPLIT UP MY FATHER'S
EMPIRE."

Cobb turns to the team.
57.

COBB
An idea Robert Fischer's conscious
mind would never accept. We have to
plant it deep in his subconscious.

ARTHUR
How deep?

COBB
Three levels down.

ARTHUR
A dream within a dream within a
dream? Is that even possible?

COBB
Yes. It is.

COBB
Now, the subconscious motivates
through emotion, not reason, so we
have to translate the idea into an
emotional concept.

ARTHUR
How do you translate a business
strategy into an emotion?

COBB
That's what we have to figure out.
Robert and his father have a tense
relationship. Worse, even, than the
gossip columns have suggested...

EAMES
Do you play on that? Suggest
breaking up his father's company as
a 'screw you' to the old man?

COBB
No. Positive emotion trumps
negative emotion every time. We
yearn for people to be reconciled,
for catharsis. We need positive
emotional logic.

Eames thinks. Paces. Looking back at the board.

EAMES
Try this... "MY FATHER ACCEPTS THAT
I WANT TO CREATE FOR MYSELF, NOT
FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS."

COBB
That might work.
58.

ARTHUR
Might? We'll have to do better than
that.

EAMES
Thanks for the contribution,
Arthur.

ARTHUR
Forgive me for wanting a little
specificity, Eames.

COBB
Inception's not about specificity.
When we get inside his head, we're
going to have to work with what we
find.

Arthur shrugs, frustrated. And we-

CUT TO:

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

The team are in the middle of a DESERTED intersection.
Ariadne is showing Yusuf aspects of the geography.

EAMES
We could split the idea into
emotional triggers, and use one on
each level.

COBB
How do you mean?

EAMES
On the top level, we open up his
relationship with his father....
Say: "I WILL NOT FOLLOW IN MY
FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS." Next level
down we've accessed his ambition
and self-esteem. We feed him: "I
WILL CREATE SOMETHING MYSELF."
Then, the bottom level, we bring
out the emotional big guns...

COBB
"MY FATHER DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE
HIM."

EAMES
That could do it.

ARTHUR
How do you produce these emotional
triggers?
59.

EAMES
I forge each emotional concept in
the style and manner of Peter
Browning, a key figure in Fischer's
emotional life.

Two AFRICAN PEDESTRIANS wander into view.

ARTHUR
Are those yours?

Eames shakes his head. Cobb turns to Yusuf.

ARTHUR
Yusuf?

YUSUF
Yup. Sorry.

COBB
Suppress them. We don't bring our
own projections into the dream-we
let Fischer's subconscious supply
the people.

EAMES
Saito, when do I get to see
Browning?

SAITO
You fly out to Sydney on Tuesday.
We've arranged for you to spend
several days...

INT. ANTEROOM, MAURICE FISCHER'S OFFICE - DAY

Eames sits in the crowded room. Boxes and files are piled
high. Browning stands by a pair of double doors.

SAITO (V.O.)
...as part of a consulting
litigation team working for
Browning.

BROWNING
I'm not smelling settlement here-we
take them down.

LAWYER
Mr. Browning, Maurice Fischer's
policy is always one of avoiding
litigation-

Browning turns to the lawyer. Calm, but POWERFUL.
60.

BROWNING
Shall we relay your concerns
directly to Maurice?

Browning opens the doors to Maurice Fischer's inner office.
Eames leans in to watch as Browning beckons the Lawyer into-

Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The team discusses how to plant the idea of breaking up his father's empire deep into Robert Fischer's subconscious. They brainstorm different emotional concepts to use as triggers. Later, Eames impersonates Peter Browning, a key figure in Fischer's emotional life, to obtain information.

Strengths "Strong dialogue, well-developed characters"

Weaknesses "Lack of action and visual interest"

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 10

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 9

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0

Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and provides a clear objective for the characters. The dialogue is concise and moves the plot forward. However, there could be more character development, as the main characters are simply discussing their mission and not revealing much about themselves. Additionally, there could be more visual cues to break up the dialogue and make the scene more engaging for the audience.

Suggestions Here are some ways to improve the scene:

- Begin with a visual of the workshop to set the scene and establish the characters' positions in the room. This will help the audience better understand the dynamics at play.

- Consider adding some conflict or tension between the characters, beyond just frustration and sarcasm. This will make the scene more engaging and enhance the overall story.

- Develop the characters and their motivations more fully. Why are they doing this job? What personal stakes do they have in the success of the mission? This will give the audience reasons to care about their actions and choices.

- Try using more visual language and dialogue to make the scene more cinematic and immersive. For example, instead of just saying "Eames thinks. Paces," show him actively pacing and brainstorming ideas.

- Finally, think about the pacing and structure of the scene. Is it building to a climax or resolution? Are there any moments where the tension could be heightened or the stakes raised even higher? Pay attention to these details to make the scene more effective overall.

Scene 23 - Power Struggle and Dream Planning

INT. MAURICE FISCHER'S INNER OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

The office is a MAKESHIFT HOSPITAL ROOM: a BED where the desk
should be. Browning addresses a figure at the window. ROBERT
FISCHER, 30'S, abstracted.

BROWNING
How is he?

Fischer turns to Browning. Motions silence, as he glances at
his FATHER in the bed. Wheezing gently.

BROWNING
I don't want to bother him
unnecessarily but I know he-

FATHER
Robert! I've told you to keep out
the damn!-

MAURICE LASHES OUT, KNOCKING things from his bedside table. A
NURSE calms Maurice as Fischer crouches to retrieve a FRAMED
PHOTOGRAPH. He looks at the photo through the broken glass- a
YOUNG BOY holds a PINWHEEL CLEARLY MADE BY A CHILD (each of
the points is numbered in pen), his FATHER blows on it.

BROWNING
Must be a cherished memory of his-

FISCHER
I put it by his bed. He hasn't even
noticed.

BROWNING
Robert, we have to talk about a
power of attorney. I know this is
hard for you, but it's important
that we start to think about the
future-

FISCHER
Not now, Uncle Peter.

Browning looks at Fischer, considering. Biding his time.

EAMES (V.O.)
The vultures are circling. The
sicker Maurice Fischer becomes, the
stronger Peter Browning becomes...
61.

Eames WATCHES Browning, STUDYING his every move .

INT. BATHROOM - DAY

Eames gestures at a mirror, as if offering to shake hands...

EAMES (V.O.)
I've had time to learn Browning's
physical presence and mannerisms...

In the mirror: BROWNING GESTURES BACK.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS

EAMES
Now, in the dream, I can impersonate
Browning and suggest the concepts to
Fischer's conscious mind...
(draws a diagram)
Then we take Fischer down another
level and his own subconscious
feeds it right back to him.

ARTHUR
(impressed)
So he gives himself the idea.

EAMES
Precisely. That's the only way
to make it stick. It has to seem
self-generated.

ARTHUR
Eames, I'm impressed.

EAMES
Your condescension, as always, is
much appreciated, Arthur.

CUT TO:

INT. DESERTED HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

The team sit on the steps of the large marble lobby,
debating. Ariadne is showing Arthur the lobby.

EAMES
He's not scheduled for surgery, no
dental, nothing.

COBB
I thought he had some knee thing?

EAMES
Nothing they'd put him under for.
Besides, we need a good ten hours.
62.

SAITO
Sydney to Los Angeles.

They turn to Saito.

SAITO
Twelve hours and forty-five
minutes-one of the longest flights
in the world. He makes it every two
weeks...

EXT. AIRFIELD - DAY

Fischer steps out of a black town car and walks across the
tarmac towards a GULF STREAM JET, accompanied by two aides.

COBB (V.O.)
Surely he flies private?

SAITO (V.O.)
Not if there were unexpected
maintenance with his plane.

Fischer is met at the steps by a DISTRAUGHT FLIGHT OFFICER.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

Cobb chews this over. Arthur comes over.

ARTHUR
It'd have to be a 747.

COBB
Why?

ARTHUR
On a 747 the pilots are up above,
first class is in the nose so
nobody walks through the cabin.
We'd have to buyout the whole
cabin, and the first class flight
attendant-

SAITO
We bought the airline.

Everyone turns to Saito.

SAITO
It seemed... neater.

COBB
Neater, huh?
(gets to his feet)
Well, now we have ten uninterrupted
hours.
(MORE)
63.
COBB (CONT'D)
(to Ariadne)
Nice lobby, by the way.

And we-

CUT TO:

INT. WORKSHOP - DAY

The group is back in the workshop, deep in discussion.

ARTHUR
My question is how we go down three
layers with enough stability. Three
layers down a little turbulence is
gonna translate into an earthquake.
The dreams are gonna collapse with
the slightest disturbance.

Yusuf clears his throat.

YUSUF
Sedation. For sleep stable enough to
create three layers of dreaming...

Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Browning discusses power of attorney with Robert Fischer while Maurice Fischer is in a makeshift hospital bed. Eames studies Browning's mannerisms to impersonate him in a dream and plant an idea in Fischer's subconscious. The group plans to create three layers of dreaming using sedation.

Strengths "Strong character interactions and conflict, intriguing concept and planning of the dream heist."

Weaknesses "Lack of action or advancement in plot, slow pacing."

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 7

Originality: 0

Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0