die hard

Genres: The, list, of, genres, for, the, movie, is:, Action, Thriller, Drama, Adventure, Crime



Summary Die Hard is an action-packed movie about a New York cop named John McClane who becomes embroiled in a terrorist plot during a Christmas party at Nakatomi Plaza. The terrorists, led by Hans Gruber, take hostages and plan to steal millions of dollars from the building's vault. McClane takes matters into his own hands, trying to save hostages and stop Hans's plan while engaging in a standoff with the terrorists. The situation escalates, and chaos erupts while the police and SWAT team try to rescue wounded officers and hostages. McClane's mission is to save his wife Holly, who is among the hostages, and kill Hans. In the end, McClane succeeds in his mission, rescuing Holly, killing Hans, and preventing the detonation of the building.




Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Scene Strengths The film's main strengths include excellent establishment of characters and setting, effective use of tension and suspense building techniques, well-paced action, intense conflict, and good character development. The highlight of the film is the well-crafted standoff scenes between McClane and the terrorists, showcasing his resourcefulness and determination. Different locations and characters create movement and emotional impact, with the climax reaching a satisfying conclusion. Overall, the film is praised for its intense action scenes, well-developed characters, and suspenseful plot.
Scene Weaknesses Overall weaknesses: - Lack of character development - Minimal dialogue in some scenes - Some dialogue feels cliched or predictable - Slow pacing in some scenes - Limited emotional impact in some scenes - Lack of suspense or tension in some scenes - Some plot points feel contrived - Dialogue could be more impactful or engaging - Some characters are underdeveloped - Some scenes feel like filler or placeholders with little character or plot development
Suggestions

Note: This is the synthesis. See scene by scene analysis here


How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.
Title
Grade
 Percentile Before After
Conflict Level 8.8  88 LA confidential - draft: 8.7 die hard: 8.8
Plot 8.3  71 Mr Robot: 8.2 Inception: 8.3
Overall 8.2  44 The sweet hereafter: 8.1 Donnie Darko: 8.2
Emotional Impact 6.8  23 Dr. Strangelove: 6.7 die hard: 6.8
Dialogue 7.3  22 The Wizard of oz: 7.2 face/off: 7.3
Concept 7.4  17 Mind Hunter: 7.3 legally blonde: 7.4
Characters 7.8  11 Catch me if you can: 7.7 sense 8: 7.8


Read script alongside scene Analyses See all Scenes

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

Story Content Character Development Scene Elements Audience Engagement
Scene Number Full Analysis Tone Overall Grade Concept Plot Characters Character Changes Conflict High stakes Story forward Emotional Impact Dialogue
1 Die Hard 8 7 7 8 05005 8
2 Arriving in LA on Christmas Eve 8 7 7 8 06005 8
3 Limo Ride and Police Station 6 4 5 7 04003 6
4 Arrival and Set-up 8 7 8 7 06006 6
5 Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party 8 7 8 9 05005 8
6 Reconnecting and a Deadly Arrival 8.5 8 9 8 09008 8
7 The Heist Begins 8 9 8 7 010006 6
8 McClane's Discovery 8.5 8 9 8 09007 7
9 Terrorists take over Nakatomi Plaza 8.5 9 9 8 09007 7
10 Takagi meets Hans 9 8 9 8 010008 9
11 Hans Kills Takagi 9 8 9 9 010009 8
12 McClane outwits terrorist with fire alarm 8 7 8 8 09006 6
13 Takagi's Demise and McClane Takes Down a Terrorist 8 7 8 8 09007 7
14 McClane's Next Move 9.5 9 10 9 09008 9
15 McClane's Distress Call 8 7 8 8 09006 7
16 McClane's Distress Call 8 7 8 7 09007 6
17 McClane's Escape Attempt 9 8 9 8 09008 7
18 Karl Hunts McClane in the Air Duct 9 7 9 8 010008 7
19 McClane evades and alerts 8 7 8 7 09007 7
20 Terrorists plot to stop distress call 7 8 7 6 09006 6
21 McClane defends himself in the board room 8.5 8 8 8 09007 7
22 Powell's Escape 8 7 8 8 09006 7
23 Distress Call 9 8 9 10 09007 8
24 Communications Cut 8 7 8 8 07006 7
25 McClane Teaches Theo to Shoot 8 7 8 7 08006 8
26 Leverage 8 8 8 7 09006 8
27 McClane's Standoff with Theo 6 7 6 6 08005 6
28 McClane has a standoff with Theo and talks to Hans on the radio 8.5 8 9 8 09007 8
29 McClane and Theo's Standoff 8 7 8 9 09005 8
30 Scene 30: McClane vs. Theo 7 6 6 7 09003 7
31 Preparing for the Worst 8.5 8 8 8 09007 7
32 Preparing for an Attack 8 7 9 8 09006 7
33 Chase and Escape 9 8 9 8 010008 7
34 Preparation and Confrontation 8 7 8 7 09006 7
35 Attack on SWAT Team 8 7 8 7 09006 7
36 Confrontation and Explosion 7 8 8 6 010007 6
37 Explosive Confrontation 9 9 9 8 010008 8
38 ROBINSON 9 8 9 8 010007 10
39 McClane receives a message from the terrorists 8 7 8 8 08006 7
40 The Killing of Ellis 7 7 8 6 09008 6
41 Standoff and Confrontation 8 7 8 8 09008 7
42 Ellis is Shot 10 9 10 9 010009 10
43 Standoff with Terrorists and Emotional Reactions 8 7 8 8 09008 7
44 Standoff on the Stairwell 7.5 7 8 7 09006 7
45 Standoff on the Roof 8 7 8 8 010007 7
46 Standoff with Terrorists 8 7 9 8 010007 7
47 Standoff and Strategic Planning 8 7 8 7 010007 8
48 Standoff with the Terrorists 8 7 9 8 09007 7
49 McClane Prepares for Aerial Attack 8 7 8 8 09006 7
50 McClane's Desperate Move 8 7 8 6 09006 7
51 McClane's Standoff 9.5 8 9 10 010008 8
52 Surviving the fall 8.5 7 9 8 08008 7
53 McClane Watches the News 7 7 7 7 05004 7
54 Standoff and Emotional Fallout 8 7 9 7 090010 7
55 McClane Stands Strong 8 7 9 9 09007 7
56 McClane and Holly Engage in Standoff with Terrorists 8 7 9 8 09007 7
57 Confrontation on the 39th Floor 8 7 8 8 09007 7
58 McClane engages in a standoff with Hans and his team on the 39th floor of Nakatomi building 9 9 9 8 010008 8
59 McClane saves Holly from Hans 8 8 9 8 010009 7
60 The Showdown 9 8 9 9 010009 8


Scene 1 - Die Hard
( i




"DIE HARD"



Screenplay
by


Jeb Stuart

/JR»S,



based on the novel

Nothing Lasts Forever

by

Roderick Thorp




SECOND REVISED DRAFT
October 2, 1987

A Gordon Company/Silver Pictures Production
"DIE HARD"
FADE IN
405 FREEWAY - LOS ANGELES - EARLY EVENING 1
Christmas tinsel on the light poles. We ARE LOOKING east
past Inglewood INTO the orange grid of L.A. at night when
suddenly we TILT UP TO CATCH the huge belly of a landing
747 — the noise is deafening.
INT. 747 - PASSENGERS - SAME 2
The usual moment just after landing when you let out that
sigh of relief that you've made it in one piece.
ON JOHN MCCLANE 3
mid-thirties, good-looking, athletic and tired from his trip.
He sits by the window. His relief on landing is subtle but
we notice. Suddenly, he hears a voice next to him.
MAN'S VOICE
(o.s.)
J^W!fc'"S Don't fly much do you?
McClane looks over at a grinning middle-aged BUSINESSMAN
sitting next to him.
MCCLANE
No.
BUSINESSMAN
Want to know the secret of
surviving air travel?...Take off
your shoes and socks when you get
where you're going and walk
around ten minutes barefoot.
Better than a shower and a cup
of coffee...
MCCLANE
(warily)
Thanks... I'11 remember that.
The Businessman picks up on McClane's scepticism and takes
it as a challenge. His salesman's smile broadens.
BUSINESSMAN
You think I'm crazy don't you?
Trust me. I've been a salesman
for twenty years. I know what
I'm talking about.
(CONTINUED)
A98
CONTINUED: 3
/0s**..
The Businessman oozes confidence. McClane reaches up to help
a woman down with her bags and the butt of his Beretta
handgun suddenly becomes visible to the Businessman. The
man blanches at the sight and McClane notices the look.
He's seen it before.
MCCLANE
It's okay...I'm a cop.
We SEE this doesn't totally calm the Businessman. McClane
holds his look and produces a gold NYPD Detective's shield.
MCCLANE
(firm and
definite)
Trust me. I've been doing it
for thirteen years.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary John McClane, a cop, lands in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. He sits next to a middle-aged businessman on the flight and shows his NYPD detective's badge to calm his suspicion.
Strengths "Establishes the main character and the setting well"
Weaknesses "Lacks conflict and emotional impact"

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 7

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with clear descriptions of setting and character actions. The dialogue is realistic and reveals information about the characters. The tension is subtly built as we see the Businessman react to McClane's gun and McClane has to reassure him of his profession as a cop. However, one possible critique could be that the scene feels somewhat mundane and doesn't engage the audience in any significant way. It serves more as an introduction to the protagonist rather than a hook that draws the audience in. It may benefit from a stronger inciting incident or conflict.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Establish the setting more clearly. While the scene starts with a clear location (405 Freeway - Los Angeles - Early Evening), the action quickly shifts to a 747 airplane without much transition. It may be helpful to show John McClane at the airport before he boards the plane, or to add some dialogue about where he's headed and why.

2. Make John McClane's motivations clearer. Right now, he seems like a passive observer of the Businessman's antics. It would be more interesting if we knew why he was on the plane and what he was thinking as the conversation unfolded. Is he tired and just trying to get through the flight, or is he on a mission and trying to stay focused?

3. Add some conflict to the scene. As it stands, the conversation between John McClane and the Businessman is friendly and non-confrontational. It would be more engaging if there was a sense of tension between them, either because the Businessman is suspicious of McClane's intentions or because McClane doesn't trust the man.

4. Use visuals to convey information. When John McClane shows the Businessman his NYPD shield, it's a powerful moment. But it might be even more effective if we saw the shield earlier in the scene, perhaps as McClane is going through security at the airport. This would establish McClane's identity as a cop and give the audience a hint of what's to come.

5. Think about pacing and structure. This scene is the first in the script, so it's important to set up the story and characters effectively. Consider whether there's any information that needs to be established here that will pay off later in the script. And think about how this scene fits into the larger structure of the film - does it set up any themes or motifs that will be revisited later?



Scene 2 - Arriving in LA on Christmas Eve
INT. THE NAKATOMI BUILDING (LOS ANGELES) - EVENING 4
CLOSE ON A bottle of Dom Perignon as the cork explodes across
a large office floor decorated for Christmas. A Japanese
man, mid-fifties standing on a desk holds up the bottle
triumphantly and looks out at an adoring audience of junior
executives and office personnel. He is JOSEPH TAKAGI,
Sr. V.P. of Sales for Nakatomi, a multinational corporation.
TAKAGI
Ladies and gentlemen...1
congratulate each and every one
of you for making this one of
the greatest days in the history
of the Nakatomi corporation...
In the b.g., obviously still at work, an attractive
BUSINESSWOMAN in her mid-thirties, studying a computer
printout, heads toward her office. Falling into step with
her is HARRY ELLIS, thirty-seven, V.P. of Sales. Well-dressed,
with stylish, slicked-back hair, he looks and acts very
smooth.
ELLIS
What about dinner?
WOMAN (HOLLY)
Do you ever look at the calendar,
Harry? Christmas Eve...Santa*s
arriving...Family...Those things
ring a bell?
She turns into:



A98
3

HER OFFICE 5
Her name is HOLLY GENNARO MCCLANE, though the nameplate on
her door stops after the first two. She puts the printout
down on her secretary's desk.
HOLLY
(to her secretary)
Go on out, Ginny, they're opening
the champagne.
GINNY
(grateful to be
released)
Thanks Ms. Gennaro.
Ginny passes Ellis in the doorway as Holly punches a number
on the phone.
I ELLIS
' (not giving up)
How about tomorrow night?
HOLLY
(dryly)
Worse.
Just then the party on Holly's phone picks up and WE:
INTERCUT:
6 INT. NICE HOUSE IN SANTA MONICA 6
where a four-year-old girl, LUCY MCCLANE, answers the phone
with a sense of importance.
LUCY
Hello, this is Lucy McClane.
Holly suddenly smiles. It is the first time we've seen her
smile and it speaks volumes about the person hidden under a
tough business exterior.
HOLLY
(with affection)
Hello, Lucy McClane. This is
your mother.
She looks up and watches Ellis leave.
LUCY
/fH^s
Mommy! When are you coming home?!
(CONTINUED)



A98
4
CONTINUED: 6
J^*>*

HOLLY
Soon. You'll be in bed when
I get there, though.
LUCY
Will you come say 'good night'?
HOLLY
Don't I always, you goose?
(enjoys her
daughter's giggle
over the line)
May I speak with Paulina, please?
Lucy hands the phone to a young Salvadorian woman, PAULINA,
the housekeeper.
PAULINA
Hello, Ms. Holly. You coming
home soon?
HOLLY
Hopefully.
(beat)
Mr. McClane didn't call, did he?
PAULINA
No ma'am.
Holly hides a trace of disappointment.
HOLLY
Maybe that means he got a flight.
Why don't you make up the bed in
the spare room, just in case.
PAULINA
(smiling)
Yes ma'am, I already did.
Holly's smile comes through again.
INT. LAX - EVENING 7
McClan^-r^earing TBTs-sWool topcoat and carrying a huge
FAg^chwartz stuffep. animal and his hangup bag, comes down
ramp with the Businessman from the

BUSINESSMAN
Remember...bare feet, ten minutes.
Merry Christmas.
(CONTINUED)

A98
CONTINUED: 7
MCCLANE
Yeah...Merry Christmas...
The Businessman moves down the ramp and is lovingly greeted
by his family. McClane watches, moved by the sight, then
looks around the waiting area, just on the chance his family
might be waiting. Instead he spots a thin, gangling, black
kid, WILLIAM, in an ill-fitting chaufeur's uniform. As he
waits he beats «out a rhythm on a card with J. McCLANE printed
on it. McClane pauses in front of him.
MCCLANE
I'm John McClane.
WILLIAM
William, Sir...I'm your limo
driver. Nice bag.
He turns and starts walking.
MCCLANE
Don't you take this?
WILLIAM
(stops)
Do I?
MCCLANE
Hell, I don't know. I've never
been picked up by a limo before.
William takes McClane's bag.
WILLIAM
Hey, that's good...'cause I've
never driven one before.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["action","drama"]

Summary John McClane, a cop, arrives in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve and is picked up by his limo driver, William. Meanwhile, a Christmas party is taking place at Nakatomi Corporation, where Joseph Takagi gives a speech and Holly Gennaro McClane, his wife, deals with her business rival, Harry Ellis, and talks to her daughter on the phone.
Strengths
  • Establishes the protagonist and his situation
  • Sets up the Nakatomi Corporation Christmas party
  • Introduces important supporting characters
Weaknesses
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 7

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and sets the stage for the story to come. The dialogue is natural and the character introductions are clear, though there are a few areas that could be improved:

1. The opening shot of the exploding champagne cork could be cut. It doesn't provide much value and feels unnecessary.
2. The dialogue between Holly and Ellis feels a bit cliché and predictable. It would be more interesting to see them in a genuine conversation that reveals more of their characters.
3. The intercut scene with Lucy is a bit jarring and feels disconnected from the rest of the scene. It might work better to have this scene as a separate scene altogether, to give it more weight and emotional impact.
4. The dialogue between McClane and William at the end is a bit on-the-nose and could be more subtle. It also doesn't give us much insight into either character.
Suggestions 1. Clarify the purpose of the scene: In this scene, we are introduced to several characters and given exposition about their relationships and backgrounds. However, there is no clear objective that needs to be achieved. To make the scene more engaging, add a mission or objective that the characters must accomplish.

2. Increase conflict: Conflict is what engages the audience and drives the story forward. Currently, there is a lack of conflict in this scene. To improve it, try adding tension between characters or conflicting goals.

3. Improve character development: This scene is an opportunity to establish who the characters are and what motivates them. To improve character development, consider adding actions or dialogue that reveal character traits or background information.

4. Consider pacing: This scene is the second in the script, and if it is too slow, it can lose the audience's attention early on. Consider tightening the dialogue and action to keep the pace moving.

5. Add visual interest: Screenplays are visual mediums, and adding interesting and visually engaging elements can make a scene more compelling. Consider adding interesting camera angles, unique lighting, or dynamic blocking to the scene to make it visually interesting.



Scene 3 - Limo Ride and Police Station
INT. LIMOUSINE - DUSK 8
McClane and William both sit in the front seat as the black
limo turns off the Santa Monica Freeway and heads north
toward Century City. The huge toy animal sits in the backseat.
McClane hears a rustling at his feet and looks down
to see a bunch of fast food wrappers. Picks one up — it
says Taco Bell — and looks at William who grins sheepishly.
WILLIAM
What can I say, man? I didn't
<T expect you to sit up front.
(CONTINUED)


A98
6
8 CONTINUED: 8
f* WILLIAM (Cont.)
(popping in a
cassette)
Mind if I play some tunes?
A hard RAP SONG blasts from the speakers.
MCCLANE
How 'bout some Christmas music?
WILLIAM
That is Christmas music.
McClane gives up and grins, tosses the wrapper back on the
floor and looks out the window.
9 HIS P.O.V. 9
Convertibles with Christmas trees in their backseats,
Time/Temperature signs which read: 69°, and palm trees
trimmed in Christmas lights — it is clear that Christmas
L.A. style is a foreign commodity he could live happily
without.
WILLIAM
f* (to the animal
• in the back)
You know, you're stocked backed
there. We got CD, CB, TV, phone,
full bar. I even know a couple
of Teddy Bears...
(to McClane)
...Or is he married?
MCCLANE
Married.
WILLIAM
She live out here?
MCCLANE
As of six months ago.
WILLIAM
And you live in New York?
MCCLANE
You're nosey, you know that,
William?
f^ WILLIAM
Hey, I'm sorry. I got to quit
doing that, you know.
(CONTINUED)
A98
7

3 CONTINUED: 9
MCCLANE
That's okay.
WILLIAM
So, you divorced or what?
McClane gives up.
MCCLANE
She had a good job, it turned
into a great career.
WILLIAM
But meant her moving here.
MCCLANE
You're fast.
I
/ WILLIAM
So, why didn't you come?
MCCLANE
'Cause I'm a New York cop not an
IBM salesman. I don't just get up
and move.
WILLIAM
(to the point)
And you didn't think she'd make
it here?
McClane grins, he likes William even if he is direct.
MCCLANE
You're fast, William.
10 INT. LOS ANGELES POLICE STATION - NIGHT 10
A miniature Christmas tree with blinking lights sits on a
desk of SERGEANT AL POWELL, thirties, a man who's had enough
experience to know how bad it can be out there. He speaks
in low tones to the telephone.
POWELL
(defensively)
Yeah, yeah, honey, don't go
crazy —
(listening, then)
— I know you're pregnant. I know
you get cravings. I didn't say I
wouldn't buy *em, I just said I wish
you'd buy *em in big boxes...
(CONTINUED)

A98
8
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Thriller"]

Summary McClane takes a limo ride with his driver William, who attempts to make small talk but mostly McClane stares out the window. Meanwhile, Sergeant Al Powell speaks on the phone with his pregnant wife at the police station, causing some distraction.
Strengths
  • The limo scene gives a slight glimpse into McClane's personal life, albeit minimal. It shows him as direct with William, but still willing to engage in witty banter.
  • The scene with Powell adds a moment of levity as we see him juggling the stresses of police work with his wife's pregnancy cravings, which will become important later on in the movie.
Weaknesses
  • The limo ride scene feels like a filler moment which does not add much to the overall plot.
  • There is no suspense or tension added to the story during this scene, making it a relatively boring section of the movie.

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 6


Story Content

Concept: 4

Plot: 5

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 3

Dialogue: 6

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and provides some interesting character development for McClane and William. However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon:

1. The scene lacks action or conflict, which could make it feel stagnant. Consider adding some tension or obstacles for the characters to overcome, even if it's just a minor disagreement between them.

2. The dialogue could be tightened up in some places, such as when William asks McClane if he's divorced. The exchange feels a bit clunky and could benefit from being condensed.

3. The introduction of Sergeant Al Powell feels a bit out of place in this scene and could be saved for a later moment. This scene should focus on McClane and William's relationship, rather than introducing a new character.

Overall, this scene has potential and could be improved with some added conflict and tightening of the dialogue.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Develop the characters: While we learn a bit about McClane and William's personality, it would be great to dig deeper and give them more distinct characteristics. This can be achieved by incorporating their individual interests and backgrounds into the conversation.

2. Increase tension: There is no sense of conflict or urgency in this scene, which can make it feel stagnant. Consider adding some small source of tension, like a disagreement or misunderstanding between the characters, to propel the story forward.

3. Cut unnecessary dialogue: There are a few lines of dialogue that don't add much to the scene and can be cut to improve pacing. For example, the exchange about Taco Bell doesn't add to our understanding of the characters or the plot.

4. Make the setting more vivid: The description of Christmas in L.A. is generic and doesn't do much to create a sense of atmosphere. Consider adding more specific details or sensory descriptions to bring the setting to life.

5. Connect the scene to the larger story: While this scene is pleasant enough, it doesn't do much to move the story forward or connect to the larger themes of the script. Consider how this scene can set up or foreshadow events to come, or how it can develop the relationships between characters.



Scene 4 - Arrival and Set-up
10 CONTINUED: ' 10
Suddenly Powell's miniature tree is knocked on its side and a
handgun goes spinning across the desk into his lap. He looks
up to see two cops trying to subdue a struggling suspect in
front of his desk. COP #1 looks up at Powell and grins.
COP #1
Don't worry, Al, it ain't loaded.
POWELL
(to phone)
I got to go.
Powell hangs up and puts the heavy firearm on the desk as the
two cops shove the suspect into a chair in front of him.
COP #2 stares at the suspect and points at Powell.
I COP #2
Sergeant Powell's a very deadly
man with a handgun, so don't try
anything or he might kill you...
by accident.
The two cops laugh. Powell ignores them, and expertly rolls
in a sheet of paper into his main weapon — the typewriter.
POWELL
(to suspect)
Full name, last name first...
11 -INT. LIMO - NIGHT 11
McClane and William pull up in front of the Nakatomi building,
a forty story, ultra-modern highrise in Century City.
WILLIAM
You here to patch things up?
MCCLANE
I'm here to try. Thanks for the
ride, William.
He gets out and William sits a moment in the car alone before
getting out to help him with the bags.
12 EXT. NAKATOMI BUILDING - NIGHT 12
William climbs out of the limo and stops by the trunk.
WILLIAM
What happens if you don't get back
with your wife? Where*re you going
to stay?
(CONTINUED)

A98
12 CONTINUED: _ 12
MCCLANE
I'll find someplace.
He looks up at the highrise lit by huge spotlights, then
back at William who's made no attempt to open the trunk.
WILLIAM
Look, I'm going to pull into the
parking garage and wait. You score
with your wife give me a call on
the car phone and I'11 leave your
bags inside at the desk. You strike
out...I'11 get you to a hotel.
He hands McClane a slip with the number on it.
MCCLANE
(taking the number)
Thanks. What're you going to do?
WILLIAM
Don't worry about William...
(points to the
stuffed animal)
...He's going to hang out with his
friend here till you call.
13 INT. NAKATOMI LOBBY - NIGHT 13
Beautiful and deserted. A large Christmas tree stands next
to the security table where the GUARD sits. McClane goes to
the desk and signs in.
MCCLANE
Holly Gennaro. International Sales.
GUARD
Thirty-second floor...You can't miss
'em, they're the only ones left in
the place.
14 INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT 14
McClane riding the elevator. He rotates his head. Getting
the cricks out. As he approaches the 32nd floor we
hear a tremendous THUMPING, THROBBING NOISE. McClane
stops and listens before he realizes — it's the party. As
the doors open the noise attacks us.
15 32ND FLOOR - SAME 15
McClane moves around the edge of the party and stops a
dancing woman who points to Holly's "office.

A98
10
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary John McClane arrives in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve and is picked up by his limo driver, William. Meanwhile, a Christmas party is taking place at Nakatomi Corporation where Joseph Takagi gives a speech and Holly Gennaro McClane, his wife, deals with her business rival, Harry Ellis, and talks to her daughter on the phone. Sergeant Al Powell speaks on the phone with his pregnant wife at the police station, causing some distraction. Powell is interrupted by two cops that subdue a suspect, but he handles the situation with a typewriter. Meanwhile, McClane arrives at Nakatomi Plaza and checks in at the security table to meet his wife on the 32nd floor.
Strengths "Good introduction to characters and location, sets up some conflicts for later. "
Weaknesses "Little action or tension in the scene. Some of the dialogue is mundane."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 8

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 6

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique As a screenwriting language model AI, I can provide feedback on the structure of the scene and the potential for building suspense and character development.

The scene starts with Powell's miniature tree being knocked over, and a gun falling into his lap. This sudden event creates tension, but it could have been tied in more closely to the main plot for better coherence.

The dialogue between the cops seems somewhat forced and cliché, trying to establish Powell as a "deadly" character. The humor is also a bit flat and predictable, which doesn't help build the suspense or character depth.

The scene then cuts to McClane arriving at Nakatomi building, which seems like a natural place to start a new scene. However, the transition could have been smoother to avoid breaking the flow of the narrative.

In general, the scene could benefit from better pacing and more effective use of dialogue to advance the plot and develop the characters.
Suggestions 1. Clarify the location and introduce the characters: In the beginning of the scene, it’s unclear where Powell is and who the cops are. It would be helpful to establish the location as Powell’s office and identify the cops by name or badge number.

2. Increase tension and stakes: The scene lacks tension and stakes. One way to improve it could be to introduce a specific threat or conflict. For example, the suspect could have important information that Powell needs to extract or the cops could be under pressure to close the case quickly.

3. Develop character relationships: The interactions between Powell and the cops feel superficial. Developing their relationships and establishing their motives would make the scene more engaging. For example, the cops could be corrupt and Powell could be conflicted about working with them.

4. Use visuals to enhance the story: A visual element could be added to the scene to illustrate the characters’ actions and mood. For example, the camera could capture Powell’s expression as he puts the firearm on the desk or the suspect’s body language as he’s being questioned.

5. Connect the scenes thematically: The scene transition from Powell’s office to McClane’s arrival at the Nakatomi building feels abrupt. Finding a way to connect the two scenes thematically would help with the flow of the story. For example, finding a way to tie in the theme of power and control that’s present in both scenes.



Scene 5 - Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party
16 HOLLY'S OFFICE - SAME 16
McClane pauses at the door and notes the name, then knocks.
It is opened by Takagi. Ellis sits behind Holly's secretary's
desk and nervously taps a tightly-rolled dollar bill.
MCCLANE
Sorry, I was looking for —
TAKAGI
Holly Gennaro?
MCCLANE
Yeah...
TAKAGI
Then you must be John McClane.
(introducing
himself)
Joe Takagi, John. How was your
ride in?
Ellis subtly runs a checking finger under his nose then stands
to shake hands with McClane. McClane takes it all in.
MCCLANE
Nice. Do I have you to thank for
that?
TAKAGI
Or blame for it. She was going to
meet you herself, but I threw some
things at her at the last minutes.
(motions to Ellis)
John, this is Harry Ellis one of our
shining stars in international sales.
(to Ellis)
John is a New York policeman.
ELLIS
(shaking hands)
Pleasure to meet you. I've heard
a lot about you from your ex-...
(correcting
himself)
...your wife.
We can tell by McClane's look that he doesn't think much of
Ellis. McClane holds Ellis' look and runs his finger subtly
under his nose.
MCCLANE
(low, to Elli.s)
You missed some.

(CONTINUED)

A98
11

16 CONTINUED: 16
yflE^X

MCCLANE (Cont.)
(to Takagi)
Well, you fellas throw quite a
Christmas party.
Ellis automatically puts his hand to his face before
realizing his face is clean.

TAKAGI
Well, actually it's also a little
celebration for a deal we closed
this afternoon. A $150,000,000
deal. A deal we have Holly to
thank a lot for —
Holly enters. Seeing McClane momentarily stops her.
J
/
HOLLY
(surprised)
John...Oh...Did you meet everyone? —

TAKAGI
No, we've been sticking spears in
^S*!S\ him...of course he has.
McClane and Holly look at each other for a moment awkwardly
then she kisses him on the cheek. The awkwardness pleases
Ellis.
TAKAGI
(to McClane)
She's made for this business.
Tough as nails.

ELLIS
Show him the watch.
He points to a new gold Rolex on Holly's wrist.
HOLLY
(giving him
a look)
I will later.
ELLIS
Ahh...Show him. Don't be
embarrassed.
(to McClane)
A little something to show how much
we appreciate her good work.
(CONTINUED)

A98
12

16 CONTINUED: (2) 16

Holly fixes Ellis with a lethal look.
MCCLANE
I'm sure I'll see it later. Right
now I could use a place to wash up.

17 EXT. NAKATOMI - NIGHT 17

A UPS truck turns off Olympic into the underground parking
garage of Nakatomi.

18 INT. PARKING GARAGE 18

It goes down the ramp and passes William's black limo. William
I is not visible in the front. The back windows are tinted.

19 INT. LIMO - SAME 19

William sits in the backseat. He is making a drink from the
bar with the TV on and his rap music blasting from the
cassette player, oblivious to the truck passing behind him.

20 INT. PARKING GARAGE - SAME 20
The UPS truck stops in front of the service elevator on the
next level down. As the truck idles, the uniformed driver
makes a note on his clipboard.

21 INT. ELLIS' OFFICE- WASHROOM - NIGHT 21
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary John McClane arrives at Nakatomi Plaza for his wife's Christmas party where he meets her boss and business rival. They exchange pleasantries before Holly arrives and they give her a gift. McClane politely excuses himself to wash up.
Strengths "Good introduction of characters and establishment of tension between McClane and Ellis. The exchange with Takagi gives insight into Holly's success and toughness."
Weaknesses "Not a lot of action or conflict in this scene. Some dialogue is filler and doesn't advance the plot."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 8

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively introduces the characters and setting. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:

1. The dialogue between McClane and Ellis feels a bit forced and cliché. Their subtle insults and cold exchanges could be more subtle and nuanced.

2. The introduction of Holly's watch feels contrived and unsubtle. It would be more effective to introduce it later in the story, in a more natural way.

3. The stage directions could be simplified and made more concise. Some of the descriptions, like "Ellis runs a checking finger under his nose" could be replaced with a simpler action like "Ellis nervously adjusts his tie."

Overall, the scene effectively establishes the characters and setting while building tension and anticipation for the upcoming events. However, there is room for improvement in the dialogue and stage directions.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions:

1. Show more of McClane's character: From this scene, the audience cannot tell much about who McClane is beyond the fact that he is a New York cop. Add some dialogue or action that demonstrates his personality and what makes him unique.

2. Build up the tension: The scene lacks tension, even though it takes place in an office building that is about to be taken over by terrorists. Add something that foreshadows the danger that is to come.

3. Cut down on the exposition: There is a lot of dialogue that serves to convey information to the audience, but it feels quite forced and unnatural. Try to find other ways to communicate the same information, or cut it down to only the most essential details.

4. Make Ellis more interesting: Ellis is introduced as a "shining star" in international sales, but he doesn't have much personality beyond that. Give him some quirks or flaws that make him more interesting to watch.

5. Show more of Takagi: Takagi is an intriguing character, but he doesn't have much screen time in this scene. Consider giving him more lines or actions that make him stand out.



Scene 6 - Reconnecting and a Deadly Arrival
Holly sits in Ellis' office — a Sharper Image kind of place.
Through a door to the private washroom, she watches McClane
in his T-shirt finish washing his face.
HOLLY
Sorry about Ellis. He has a
hard time this time of year...
MCCLANE
Hey, I know the type. He thought
he was God's greatest gift.
They both smile, a reminder of something past.
HOLLY
So, where are you staying? This
all happened so fast I didn't
even ask you on the phone.
(CONTINUED)
A98
13

21 . CONTINUED: 21
J^tn\


McClane finishes drying his face and steps to the doorway.
MCCLANE
Well, Cappy Roberts retired out
here a couple years ago. He said
I could bunk with him.
HOLLY
Oh...Where does he live?
MCCLANE
Pomona.
HOLLY
PomonaI You'll be in the car
the whole time...Look, let's make
this easy. I have a spare bedroom.
It's not huge, but the kids would
love to have you at the house.
McClane fixes her with a look.
MCCLANE
How about you?
HOLLY
(beat, honest)
I would too.
MCCLANE
I feel kinda stupid asking how
things are going, that seems
pretty obvious.
He nods at her new watch. She rubs her watchband
self-consciously and when she looks up McClane is staring
at her.
MCCLANE
God, you look good.
HOLLY
(pleased, smiles)
You don't look half-bad yourself.
They lock eyes for a moment, but it's an intense moment that
says a lot about how they still feel about each other. Just
then a man and a woman, both a little tipsy, open the door
to the office, see that its occupied and beat a hasty
/Si^V retreat. The interruption temporarily dents the mood.
Holly tries to smile.
(CONTINUED)


A98
14

21 ' CONTINUED: (2) 21
HOLLY
Welcome to L.A...I've missed you.
She leaves and McClane smiles to himself — it's a start. He
looks at all the lavishness around him and picks up a phone
on the wall by the toilet. He opens his wallet and takes out
the phone number William gave him. A photo of his children
stops him.
22 INSERT - THE PHOTO 22
Holly and the two children we saw at Holly's house. He flips
it over. On the back in crude but painstaking hand of a
five-year-old it says: WE MISS YOU, DADDY. LOVE JOHN (and
in more primative letters) LUCY.
23 MCCLANE 23
returns the photo to his wallet, dials the number and begins
to unlace his shoes.
24 INT. BUILDING LOBBY - SAME 24
The Guard at the front desk notices the UPS truck on his
monitor. The Guard continues to watch the UPS truck and
only half notices as a BMW pulls up in front of the building
and two extremely well-dressed, BUSINESSMEN (late twenties)
climb out and start up the stairs for the door. As they
cross the lobby to the Guard's table to sign-in, we hear
•their conversation.
MAN #1 (THEO)
(animatedly)
...So, Kareem rebounds — listen,
this is a great play — feeds Worthy
on the break, over to A.C., to Magic,
back to Worthy in the lane and —
Suddenly the other man pulls out a Walther pistol with a
silencer and aims it at the Guard's forehead. Before the
Guard can react he pulls the trigger.
MAN #1 (THEO)
(dryly)
Boom...two points.
(The speed with which the murder takes place sets the tone
for the rest of the action.) The killer moves behind the
desk, stepping over a small pool of blood from the Guard.
His name is KARL, big, with long blond hair like a rock
drummer. Karl takes off the silencer and looks at the
(CONTINUED)


A98
15
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary John McClane reconnects with his estranged wife at her Christmas party while a group of well-dressed businessmen arrive at the Nakatomi Plaza, where one of them kills a security guard
Strengths
  • The tension is established with the arrival of the well-dressed businessmen and foreshadowing of violence
  • The scene sets up the reunion of McClane and his wife, which is central to the story
  • Characterization and chemistry between McClane and Holly is well-portrayed
Weaknesses
  • The dialogue could have been more impactful
  • The scene lacks action, although tension is established

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5


Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene is well written and has strong characterization, but there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptors that allow the reader to better imagine the setting. Rather than simply describing Ellis' office as a "Sharper Image kind of place," the writer could use more specific details to create a more vivid picture of the setting.

Secondly, the dialogue between Holly and McClane feels somewhat forced and unnatural. The characters' banter could be made more realistic by including more pauses and interruptions, which would make the dialogue feel less scripted.

Finally, there is some clunky exposition in this scene that could be trimmed or reworked. For example, when Holly offers McClane a spare bedroom, she unnecessarily explains that it's not huge but her kids would love to have him there. This information feels like it's being included for no reason other than to provide exposition about Holly's family. The same information could be conveyed more naturally through dialogue later in the film.

Overall, this scene shows promise but could benefit from some minor revisions to improve its flow and believability.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, my suggestions to improve this scene would be:

1. Add more tension: The scene lacks tension, which is essential in a thriller movie. To improve the tension, the dialogue between Holly and McClane could be more intense. They could discuss the danger he faces, and the stakes could be higher.

2. Make the interruption more meaningful: The interruption by the drunken couple could be used to create a plot point. Perhaps they overheard something, or they could be significant characters later in the movie. The interruption needs to feel organic to the plot.

3. Introduce the villain earlier: The introduction of Karl is sudden and without context. Introducing the villain earlier can make the audience anticipate his appearance and create more tension. This can be accomplished by having the villain appear in a previous scene, or by foreshadowing his entrance.

4. Use more visual storytelling: The scene relies heavily on dialogue, which can be exhausting for the audience to follow. Using more visual storytelling can make the scene more engaging. For example, instead of just mentioning Cappy Roberts, there could be a photo or a map indicating where he lives. Showing McClane unlace his shoes can communicate that he's settling in and make the scene feel more grounded in reality.

5. Add more conflict: Conflict drives the plot and creates compelling characters. More conflict could be added to their dialogue, or McClane could have a different viewpoint than Holly on something to create more tension between them. This can develop themes and character arcs and keep the audience interested in the story.



Scene 7 - The Heist Begins
24 CONTINUED: 24
J0£\
video monitor of the UPS truck. The first man, THEO, opens
his briefcase and takes out a portable CB radio.
THEO
(on CB)
We're in.
25 ON THE SCREEN 25
the driver nods at the security camera as several men climb
out the rear of the van and begin unloading wooden crates•by
the service elevator.
26 INT. BUILDING OPERATIONS CONTROL ROOM 26
Theo enters the small control room and comfortably sits
behind a maintenance keyboard. With a few typed-in commands
}
he locks down the passenger elevators up to the 32nd floor.
i Then with several more computer commands, .systematically
causes:
27 THE HEAVY STEEL GATES TO THE PARKING GARAGE CLOSE 27
28 THE ESCALATORS TO THE GARAGE COME TO A STOP 28
29 THE POWERFUL BLOWERS IN THE AIR CONDITIONING TOWER 29
ON THE ROOF SUDDENLY STOP AND WE HEAR JUST THE
TRICKLE OF WATER IN THE COOLING TOWER
30 CONTROL ROOM - SAME 30
Theo finishes typing and disconnects the keyboard and pulls
out the wires from beneath the panel.
31 INT. LOBBY - SAME 31
The doors to a service elevator open TO REVEAL HANS GRUBER,
impeccably dressed, lean and handsome, he steps out into the
lobby like he owns the building — and in a way he does.
Theo steps to the door of the control room and tosses Hans
the Guard's master keys. Hans goes to the front door and
locks it. He looks out at the street — not a creature is
stirring — Century City is quiet.
32 KARL 32
waits beside an elevator which opens REVEALING NINE MEN
dressed in fatigues, all armed with Kalashnikov machine guns
and carrying canvas kit bags. One of them, HEINZ, in his
twenties, goes to the dead guard and immediately begins
\ changing into the dead man's clothes.



A98
16

33 KARL 33
takes a tool case from the elevator and heads silently for
the basement stairwell.
34 THEO 34
leaves the control room and nods to Hans.
35 HEINZ 35
•
half-dressed in his uniform, takes his position behind the
front desk.
36 HANS 36
looks at his watch and seems pleased. He steps into the
service elevator with the others and presses the button for
1 the 32nd floor. The entire sequence has taken maybe sixty
( seconds.
37 INT. ELLIS' BATHROOM - 32ND FLOOR - SAME 37
McClane, barefoot, his pant legs rolled up above his ankles.
He finishes dialing and waits for the party to answer.

/Jl//lfl"\ 38 INT. BUILDING BASEMENT - PHONE ROOM 38
A large sign says: PACIFIC BELL EMPLOYEES ONLY. Inside
Karl stands in front of an intimidating matrix of phone lines
— but what he has in mind won't require a doctorate in
Electrical Engineering. He focuses on four CPV plastic
conduits which run out of the main panel over his head and
opens his case REVEALING a compact electric chain saw.
39 INT. ELLIS' BATHROOM - SAME 39
McClane on the phone.
MCCLANE
(on phone)
William?...
40 INT. LIMO 40
William is reclining on the seat. The music is on so loud
that it is nearly impossible to hear.
WILLIAM
So, man, what's the story?
/liBBNy 41 INT. PHONE ROOM - SAME 41
Karl cuts through the four tubes one at a time.
Genres: ["action","thriller"]

Summary Theo and his team successfully infiltrate Nakatomi Plaza, locking down the building's systems and preparing for the heist. Meanwhile, John McClane tries to make a phone call in his wife's bathroom.
Strengths "The tension and suspense building as the heist begins is expertly crafted, and the hints at John McClane's heroic potential add to the excitement."
Weaknesses "The dialogue and character development in this scene are somewhat lacking, and some may find certain plot points, such as a group of terrorists taking over a building, to be clich\u00e9."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 8

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 7

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 6

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene seems well-written and effectively builds tension as the thieves make their way into the building while McClane tries to stop them. However, there are a few areas where the writing could be improved.

One issue is the lack of description and characterization for some of the characters. For example, we learn nothing about the other men who climb out of the van with Theo, nor do we get any sense of their personalities or motivations. Additionally, while Hans Gruber is described as "impeccably dressed, lean and handsome," we don't get much beyond that to help us understand who he is and what he wants.

Another issue is the pacing of the scene. While there is a lot happening, some of the actions seem to be described in more detail than necessary. For example, the sequence where Theo locks down the elevators and escalators could potentially be condensed to make the scene move more quickly.

Finally, there are a few moments where the writing feels repetitive or awkward. For example, the line "Hans goes to the front door and locks it" could be streamlined to simply say "Hans locks the front door." And the line "The entire sequence has taken maybe sixty seconds" feels unnecessary, as the timeframe seems clear from the quick pace of the action leading up to this point.

Overall, this scene has the potential to be a strong part of a screenplay, but could benefit from a bit more attention to character and pacing.
Suggestions 1. Increase the tension: While the scene does have some tension, it could benefit from more dramatic build-up. You could establish the characters and their motivations a bit more before they start executing their plan. This could help the audience engage with the story more.

2. Simplify the technical jargon: The characters in the scene use a lot of technical jargon, which can be confusing for the audience. Try to simplify the explanations, or use visual cues to make it easier to understand what's happening.

3. Make the protagonists more active: In this scene, the protagonists are reacting to the actions of the antagonists. Try to find ways to make the protagonists more active, giving them more agency in the story.

4. Add some character development: While the scene does give some information about the villains, it could benefit from some character development for the protagonists as well. This could help the audience care more about the characters and their struggles.

5. Consider the pacing: The scene moves quickly, which can be exciting, but it also makes it hard to keep track of what's happening. Consider slowing down the pace a bit, giving the audience time to process the information.



Scene 8 - McClane's Discovery
A98
17
42 INT. ELLIS' BATHROOM - SAME 42
ytf&*^S McClane on the phone.
MCCLANE
I'm just calling to —
He stops and gently taps the phone cradle. No dial tone.
43 INT. LIMO 43
William looks at the phone.
WILLIAM
W h a t ? — M r . Mac, you there?
He turns down the music but there is no one on the line.
WILLIAM
(to himself)
Well, call me back, John. You got
the number.
He hangs up and turns the volume back up.
44 ELLIS' OFFICE 44
He hangs up the phone and goes into Ellis' office and picks
up the phone on the desk. It too is dead.
\ 45 INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR 45
Hans and the others approaching the 32nd floor. As they grow
closer we hear the noise of the speakers growing louder and
louder. The men cock their weapons and brace themselves as
the car stops and the elevator doors open. ON THE SOUND OF
GUNSHOTS AND SCREAMS WE:
CUT TO:
46 INT. ELLIS' OFFICE 46
McClane grabs his shoulder harness off the back of the chair
and moves quickly to the doorway. He looks down the hall.
47 HIS P.O.V. 47
Two terrorists, FRANCO and TONY, armed with M-5 machine guns
searching the offices on the hall one by one. They open a
door, look in from the hallway, and move on quickly to the
next. They are four offices away and moving fast.
McClane looks across the corridor and sees the stairwell door
— too far to reach without being seen.
(*** 48 MCCLANE , . 48
steps back, throws off the safety on his Beretta and braces
himself.

A98
18
49 HALLWAY - FRANCO AND TONY 49
^0™^

reach the office just before Ellis' and throw open the door
REVEALING the man and woman who interrupted Holly and
McClane a few minutes before, now in the throes of passionate
lovemaking on the desk. The two terrorists smile at each
other then enter the office.
A moment later the man, trying desperately to pull up his
pants and woman buttoning her blouse, are pushed out into
the hall and toward the party, by Tony. The other
terrorist. Franco, goes to Ellis' office and opens the door.
It is empty. Only McClane's shoes and coat remain.
50 INT. STAIRWELL - SAME 50
CLOSE ON McClane's bare feet padding quickly up the concrete
stairs, two at a time. We FOLLOW him up two flights, then
| out onto the:
51 34TH FLOOR 51
i
| Unlike the 32nd it has no surrounding offices, just one
| large secretarial pool with hundreds of desks, hundreds of
phones, dark and deserted. McClane moves quickly to a desk
and picks up a phone. It's out.
P MCCLANE
1
Shit...
Out the windows a high-rise apartment building a half-block
away sparkles with lights. McClane stares at a woman in her
kitchen. We SEE her wipe her hands on an apron and turn to
answer a telephone. It seems so easy.
McCLANE
Think...
52 INT. 32ND FLOOR (HOSTAGE FLOOR) - SAME 52
The employees have been herded to the center of the room
where the desks have been pulled back. Many people are
whimpering. Holly looks around the room for McClane; she
sees Ellis. Takagi, stubbornly refusing to cooperate is
pushed toward the group. Hans steps up on top of a desk
and looks over the group.
HANS
(soothing, in control)
Ladies and gentlemen, due to Nakatomi's
legacy of greed in Third World countries,
it is about to be made an example. You,
{ unfortunately, are part of the recompense.

(CONTINUED)

A98
19
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary John McClane tries to make a phone call in Ellis' bathroom, but finds the phone is dead. He heads out and sees terrorists searching the offices. He goes barefoot up the stairs and arrives at the deserted 34th floor, where he tries unsuccessfully to call for help. Meanwhile, the terrorists have taken control of the 32nd floor
Strengths
  • Tension building as McClane discovers the terrorists' plan
  • The contrast between McClane's vulnerability and the terrorists' deadly efficiency
Weaknesses
  • The dialogue is not particularly memorable

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5


Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique As a screenwriting language model AI, I can provide feedback and analysis, however, the formatting of the scene seems to have been lost and this makes it harder to provide a full critique. That being said, here are my observations:

- The scene is part of an action-packed movie script, and the tension is built up nicely throughout the scene.
- There is good use of visual cues, such as McClane's bare feet padding quickly up the concrete stairs, to create suspense and build up the atmosphere.
- The dialogue is limited, but the use of short, sharp lines such as "Shit..." help to create a sense of urgency and danger.
- The character's motivations and actions are clear, and the sequence of events is easy to follow.

Overall, the scene seems to be well-written and effectively conveys the tense and dangerous situation the characters find themselves in.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify who is on the phone at the beginning of the scene. Is it McClane or someone else? Use a character name or some dialogue to make this clear.

2. Add more tension to the scene by having McClane desperately try to find a working phone before he realizes they are all dead. Maybe he tries multiple phones, or frantically searches through drawers and cabinets for a backup phone.

3. Consider adding more detail to the lovemaking scene to make it more comedic or absurd. As it stands, the scene feels rushed and doesn't add much to the plot.

4. Give the terrorists more distinct personalities and backgrounds. Right now they feel like generic bad guys. Adding more detail to their characters would make them more memorable and increase the stakes of the scene.

5. Add more dialogue for McClane during his escape. Right now he doesn't speak much and we don't get a sense of his personality. Adding more quips or one-liners would make the scene more engaging.



Scene 9 - Terrorists take over Nakatomi Plaza
52 CONTINUED: 52
HANS (Cont.)
We are going to collect identification.
This is not a pillage — we do not want
your wallets or money. A driver's
license or ID with a photo will do nicely.
Several of the terrorists begin collecting IDs as people hunt
for ID.
HANS
At present we have no intentions of
hurting anyone. If our demands are
not met, however — expect that to
change.
(beat, smiles)
Your cooperation is appreciated.
f He steps down from the desk and goes into:
/
53 HOLLY'S OFFICE 53
where a terrorist with glasses, FRITZ, has begun to set up
operations. A large CB unit is placed on her desk and a TV
monitor is put on the credenza. While he works, Hans picks
up an 8x10 photo on the credenza.
y 54 CLOSE - THE PHOTO 54
The same one that we saw in McClane's wallet of Holly and
the children.
55 HANS 55
He puts the photo back. Franco (who checked Ellis' office)
brings McClane*s coat, socks and shoes. Hans examines the
clothes and looks at the man who brought them.
HANS
Is this all?
FRANCO
(nods)
Do you want us to search for him?
HANS
No. He can't signal for help and
he cannot get out.
Hans feels the fabric of McClane's topcoat as Franco leaves
and Takagi is brought to the office. Hans smiles.
jt0>&\


(CONTINUED)



A98
20

55 CONTINUED: 55
f*y HANS
(pleasantly)
Mr, Takagi, my name is Hans Gruber.
Would you come with me, please?
56 INT. STAIRWELL - 38TH FLOOR - SAME 56
McClane pauses outside the stairwell door to the 38th floor,
he presses the handle and cracks the door open TO REVEAL a
computer floor. The-computer machinery drones on under the
lights behind plate glass windows. McClane quietly closes
the door and makes a note on a piece of paper.
57 CLOSE - THE PAPER 57
It is a listing of the floors and says:
» 32 Hostages
/ 33 ?
34 Open Floor
35 Open Floor
36 Cubicles
37 Cubicles and inside offices (TV
sets in inside office)
38 Computers
f* 58 MCCLANE 58
moves up the stairs to the next landing, the 39th floor, and
tries to open the door. It is locked. He keeps going up.
59 INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR - NIGHT 59
Hans, Takagi, Karl and Tony. Riding silently. Hans alone
seems relaxed. He whistles. We recognize it as
"Whistle While You Work."- He looks at Takagi*s suit.
HANS
Nice suit. John Philips...London?
TAKAGI
(surprised)
How the hell would you know?
HANS
(smiles)
I have two myself...
He continues whistling and enjoys Takagi's surprise.
HANS
f^' You are surprised a 'terrorist' would
know fine tailors?
(CONTINUED)
A98
21
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Terrorists take over Nakatomi Plaza, collecting identification from the employees and setting up operations in Holly's office. McClane tries to make a plan on the deserted 38th floor, while Takagi is brought in to meet Hans, the leader of the terrorists.
Strengths
  • Tension building
  • Establishing the main villain and his goals
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5


Story Content

Concept: 9

Plot: 9

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

Dialogue: 7

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively sets up the tense situation and the characters' motivations. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

1. The dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtext. For example, when Hans says "Your cooperation is appreciated," it feels too obvious that he is trying to be polite while still being threatening. Adding more layers to the dialogue could make it feel more natural and nuanced.

2. The action description could be more specific and visual. There are several instances where the scene relies on more general descriptions like "he picks up an 8x10 photo" or "McClane pauses outside the stairwell door." Adding more detail and specificity could help paint a clearer picture in the reader's mind.

3. The scene could benefit from more character development. While the dialogue and action give us a clear sense of who the characters are and what their goals are, we don't get a deep sense of their personalities or emotions. Adding more moments that reveal their inner lives could make them feel more fleshed out and compelling.

Overall, the scene is strong but could benefit from some tweaks to make it even more effective.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to increase the tension and raise the stakes. Perhaps there could be a moment where one of the hostages attempts to resist, putting everyone in danger, or McClane's attempts to gather information lead him to encounter one of the terrorists. Additionally, the dialogue between Hans and Takagi could be sharpened to highlight the power dynamic between the two characters and create more tension. Finally, adding some physical action could help break up the dialogue-heavy scene and create a more dynamic visual experience for the viewer.



Scene 10 - Takagi meets Hans
59 CONTINUED: 59
The answer is obvious. Hans smiles and lowers his voice as
if sharing an inside secret.
HANS
Rumor has it Arafat buys his there.
60 INT. STAIRWELL 60
McClane starts to open the stairwell door to the 40th Floor
when a NOISE above him gets his attention. He moves silently
up.one flight to the roof. Quietly, he cracks the door and
looks out onto a Machine floor on the lower level of the roof.
61 HIS P.O.V. 61
Three terrorists, JAMES, ULI and HEINRICH, unload the wooden
crates we saw in the garage from the service elevator. One
of them looks his way and:
62 MCCLANE 62
closes the door and slips back down the stairs, opening the
door to the next floor. Like the others, it is dark but we
instantly know from the paneling that he has reached an
executive floor. VOICES and a light at the end of the hallway
draw him in that direction.
63 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - 40TH FLOOR - NIGHT 63
CLOSE ON a scale model of a bridge. Constructed to exacting
detail. Hans admires it. Behind him are photographs of the
gorge where the bridge will be constructed and maps of
Central America. Karl, Tony and a wiry terrorist, MARCO,
listen. Takagi watches.
HANS
It's beautiful. I always enjoyed
models as a boy. The exactness, the
attention to detail. Beautiful...
TAKAGI
(defensively)
Contrary to what you people think,
that bridge and its construction will
open up that entire region to growth.
Hans straightens, looks hard at Takagi.
HANS
I believe you.
Takagi looks confused. Hans puts a friendly arm around
Takagi's shoulders and guides him into the adjacent boardroom
where Theo types in commands onto a built-in computer console.
A98 (CONTINUED)
22

63 CONTINUED: 63
HANS
Mr. Takagi, I'm sure you've realized
that I didn't bring you up here to
look at models or debate your business
ethics.
Theo types at the console.
64 INSERT: SCREEN 64
It says: NAKATOMI INVESTMENT PENSION PLAN and a list of
Serial and CUSIP numbers. In one stroke they are deleted
from the screen. Then the next message comes up: ENTER
ACCESS NUMBER.
65 TAKAGI 65
He stops as Theo turns and faces him. He knows suddenly what
it's all about. Hans smiles at Takagi.
HANS
You can make our lives very easy,
Mr. Takagi.
TAKAGI
I don't know the code.
/$^&N

Hans slowly takes out his Walther and his silencer. He feels
his silencer a moment, as if making a decision, then slips it
back into his coat pocket. Takagi sees the gun.
TAKAGI
(more seriously)
Only three people know it, the CEO,
the Chief financial officer and the
Chairman. I'm not privy to such
information.
Hans presses the gun against Takagi's lapel.
HANS
(calmly)
You wouldn't lie to me, would you?
TAKAGI
(holding Hans' look)
No.
He gulps. Theo looks hard at Karl, who reluctantly meets
his look.
THEO
(to Karl)
I told you he wouldn't know.
(CONTINUED)
A98
23
Genres: ["Action","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary Terrorists take over Nakatomi Plaza and gather employees' identifications and personal and corporate information. McClane tries to make a plan on the deserted 38th floor while Takagi is brought in to meet Hans, the leader of the terrorists. Hans asks for the access code to the Nakatomi Investment Pension Plan, which Takagi doesn't know. With his life threatened, Takagi admits that only three people have access to the code, including the CEO, the CFO, and the chairman.
Strengths
  • The tension between Hans and Takagi is palpable
  • The plot continues to build towards the climax
  • McClane's own attempts to thwart the terrorists add to the suspense
Weaknesses
  • There isn't much character development in this scene
  • The dialogue could be more suspenseful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9


Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

Dialogue: 9

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique As a screenwriting expert, I would say that this scene is well-written and effective. It builds tension slowly and effectively, with a strong sense of escalating danger. The dialogue is sharp and concise, with clear motivations for each character. McClane's presence on the floor adds a layer of suspense and danger. The insertion of computer screens and technical language adds a contemporary touch, and the use of a silencer indicates a level of sophistication and cold-bloodedness on Hans' part. Overall, this scene is well-crafted and keeps the audience engaged.
Suggestions Overall, the scene seems to be going well in terms of building suspense and tension. However, here are some suggestions to improve it:

1. Clarify the location in scene 60: it is unclear where McClane is going from the stairwell and where he ends up. Consider adding a description of the location of scene 60 to make it clear.

2. Add more detail and description to the terrorists in scene 61: describe their appearance, demeanor, and actions to make them more distinct and memorable.

3. Consider adding more dialogue for Takagi in scene 63: he seems to be fairly passive in the scene despite the fact that his life is being threatened. Adding more dialogue could help to build a stronger sense of tension and danger.

4. Add more description to scenes 63 and 64 to clarify what is happening: it is not immediately clear why Hans is deleting information from the computer or what his ultimate goal is. Adding more detail and explanation could help to make the scene clearer and more engaging.

5. Consider adding more action or movement to the scene: while the dialogue is well-written, it might benefit from more physical action or movement to break up the exposition and build tension. For example, adding more description of how the terrorists are interacting with each other could help to make the scene more dynamic.



Scene 11 - Hans Kills Takagi
65 CONTINUED: 65
Karl gives Theo five dollars — a private bet. Takagi takes
heart, but Hans doesn't put up his gun.
TAKAGI
I told you the truth.
HANS
And I believe you, Mr. Takagi...Now,
believe me. We didn't need the code...
and I'm going to kill you anyway.
He cocks the gun then hesitates, moves the barrel upward off
his suit.
HANS
Too nice a suit to ruin...
I He moves the barrel up Takagi*s neck, seemingly searching for
/ just the right spot. He pauses below Takagi's jaw, next to
his jugular and snuggles the barrel gently into the niche.
.Takagi looks around .the room. The others watch stoically.
Hans moves the barrel from the jugular to a point directly
over Takagi's adam's apple and finally seems satisfied. The
Exec locks eyes with Hans.
TAKAGI
I'm not scared of you.
HANS
I know...but you probably should be.
66 HALLWAY - ON MCCLANE - SAME 66
He presses his eye to the crack in the door just in time to
see Hans pull the trigger. In the tiny room it sounds like
Hiroshima. The blast knocks Takagi backwards onto his butt,
a gaping hole in his throat. He remains seated upright for
an instant, stunned, before Hans steps up and puts another
bullet in his chest.
67 CLOSE ON MCCLANE 67
He is stunned and moves back from the door holding his breath.
His gun bumps against the paneling.
68 ON HANS - TAKAGI'S OFFICE 68
He looks up at the sound.
HANS
What's that?
(CONTINUED)

A98
24

68 CONTINUED: 68
{ Marco turns to the door to the hallway where McClane was and
throws open the door. The long, darkened hallway is deserted.
He steps into the:
69 HALLWAY 69
and stops in front of the only door near the conference room
— a Supply Closet — and tries the door — it is locked.
MARCO
(to Hans)
Nothing.
70 CONFERENCE ROOM 70
Karl stares at the body of Takagi then looks up at Hans as
i Marco returns to the room.
' HANS
(to Karl)
Go supervise the work on the roof.
71 INT. SUPPLY CLOSET 71
In the darkness of the closet we MAKE OUT McClane, pressed
against the wall. He listens to the footsteps moving away
and lets out a breath.
MCCLANE
(whispers)
Jesus, Williams, what're you doing
down there?
CUT TO:
72 INT. LIMO - PARKING GARAGE 72
William is on the car phone. The music is playing.
WILLIAM
I'm working, honey. Working hard.
•Course I'll be by later to pick you
up, have I ever lied to you? My boss?
He thinks I'm cruising down to San Diego...
73 SAFE ROOM - 39TH FLOOR 73
Hans and Theo enter the safe room. The huge corporate safe
looms in front of them. Theo places three kit bags onto a
table and rolls up his sleeves.
HANS
How long?
• •' THEO
(eyeing the safe)
Ask me in an hour.
A98
25

74 37TH FLOOR 74
-i$KJ*>\
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Hans demands the access code to the Nakatomi Investment Pension Plan from Takagi at gunpoint. When Takagi admits he doesn't know, Hans hesitates before ultimately killing him. Meanwhile, McClane hides in a supply closet, listening to the terrorists' movements.
Strengths
  • Tension and suspense is effectively built throughout the scene
  • The character of Hans is developed and becomes more complex as he hesitates before killing Takagi
  • The scene sets the tone for the rest of the film as the stakes for McClane are raised
Weaknesses
  • The scene is very violent and may be unsettling for some viewers
  • Some of the dialogue can feel forced at times

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9


Story Content

Concept: 8

Plot: 9

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 9

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

Dialogue: 8

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with strong tension and stakes. The use of detail in describing the placement of the gun barrel on Takagi's neck builds suspense and creates a visceral reaction for the audience. The action is well-paced and the sequence transitions smoothly between different characters and locations. However, one potential area for improvement is in character development. While Hans is portrayed as a ruthless antagonist, we do not know much about his motivations or background. Including more backstory or characterization could make the scene even more compelling. Additionally, the dialogue between Takagi and Hans is somewhat typical of a hostage situation and could be more unique or memorable.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene could be to add more tension and suspense. One way to do this could be to show more of McClane's efforts to intervene and stop Hans before he kills Takagi. It could also be helpful to explore the characters' motivations and backstories more in order to make the audience care about their fates. Additionally, adding more visual descriptions and sensory details could help to make the scene more vivid and immersive for viewers.



Scene 12 - McClane outwits terrorist with fire alarm
McClane moves out onto the 37th floor, angry at himself.
MCCLANE
Why the fuck didn't you stop him?
(beat)
Because, you ignorant sonofabitch,
you'd be dead, too. Think...think,
goddamnit!
Suddenly he looks up at the ceiling and sees a sprinkler head.
His look drops to the wall and focuses on a small red fire
alarm switch by the door.
75 INT. MAIN FLOOR - L.A. FIRE STATION - NIGHT 75
An alarm sounds. Quickly firemen move to their machines as
a voice of a 911 Dispatcher drones.
911 DISPATCHER
Main Wilshire units. Two alarm fire
at Nakatomi —
The voice continues as the station doors open and we:
CUT TO:
76 INT. NAKATOMI - GROUND FLOOR OPERATIONS ROOM - SAME 76
A fire alarm indicator light showing which floor has sounded
the fire alarm — suddenly begins flashing, emitting short,
loud beeps. Heinz, the terrorist in the guard's uniform and
manning the station, immediately picks up his CB.
77 37TH FLOOR - SAME 77
McClane stands at windows looking Northward for fire trucks.
Suddenly we SEE the flashing red lights of two trucks in
traffic two miles away.
MCCLANE
C'mon, baby...c'mon.
78 INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR - ON HANS - SAME 78
He rides the elevator back to 32nd floor with Tony.
HANS
(calmly, to Heinz on CB)
Use the portable phone. Call 911,
give them your badge number and cancel
/"**> the alarm...then disable the system.
He ponders the problem of McClane, looks across at Tony, and
presses the talk button again.
(CONTINUED)
A98
26

78 CONTINUED: 78
HANS
Heinz? What floor did the alarm go off?
79 37TH FLOOR - SAME 79
McClane stands silhouetted against the window. In the distance
he can see another fire truck swing off Santa Monica onto
Avenue of the Stars.
Suddenly the red light on the first truck goes out, then on
the second. McClane watches in disbelief. The trucks slow
and turn down separate side streets, heading for home.
MCCLANE
(realizing)
No...
Just then the elevator bell rings and we HEAR the ELEVATOR
DOORS OPEN. A figure (Tony) slips into the shadows — his
machine gun drawn. We MOVE WITH HIM from the elevator area
until he reaches the light switch and throws it illuminating
the entire floor. McClane is gone.
TONY
(calling out)
Okay, you! I know you're here. I
don't want to hurt you.
80 ON MCCLANE 80
under a desk. He takes in his options.
81 HIS P.O.V. 81
the feet of Tony. They move slowly in his direction. McClane
looks down the aisle next to the windows. It leads to a series
of office cubicles at the other end of the floor and is a clear
path if he can make it past Tony.
82 TONY 82
He moves steadily toward the area where we saw McClane.
TONY
Your signal was cancelled. No one is
coming to help you. So come out and
join the others.
He fingers the trigger of his machine gun.
TONY
I promise I won't hurt you.
(CONTINUED)

A98
27

82 CONTINUED: 82
C* Moving more confidently, he steps up to McClane's desk, then
around it and fires a blast into the space. It is empty. As
the SOUND OF THE MACHINE GUN FADES he listens and hears another
SOUND — a low HUMMING NOISE coming from the other end of the
room near the cubicles.
Tony heads toward the noise. Sensing a trap, he moves past
each cubicle carefully, checking each office until he reaches
the doorway of the last one. The sound is just around the
partition. He tenses, then spins into the cubicle.
83 TONY'S P.O.V. 83
an electric typewriter left on.
84 TONY 84
i
Genres: []

Summary McClane tries to alert the fire department with a sprinkler head and fire alarm switch, while the terrorists try to stop him. The fire alarm distract the terrorists from McClane's presence, giving him time to hide and plan his next move.
Strengths "The scene builds tension as McClane and the terrorists try to outsmart each other. The use of the fire alarm creates a unique and clever way for McClane to try to contact help."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not particularly strong or memorable."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8


Story Content

Concept: 7

Plot: 8

Originality: 0


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 0

External Goal: 0


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

Opposition: 0

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 0

Philosophical Conflict: 0


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

Dialogue: 6

Engagement: 0

Pacing: 0


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 0

Structure: 0


Critique Overall, this scene is well-written, with clear action and dialogue. However, there are a few areas that could be strengthened.

Firstly, McClane's motivation for being on the 37th floor is unclear. While it is suggested that he is angry at himself for not stopping the terrorist earlier, it would benefit the scene to have a clearer understanding of what he is trying to achieve on this floor.

Secondly, the dialogue between Hans and Heinz feels a bit clunky and exposition-heavy. It might be better to show the actions they are discussing, rather than just having them talk about it.

Finally, the reveal that Tony is alone in the dark with McClane loses some impact because we haven't been given a strong sense of who Tony is or what his motivations are. Without this context, the tension of the scene isn't as high as it could be.

Overall, there's not too much to critique in this scene - it moves the story forward and sets up some tense moments. With a few tweaks and adjustments, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions



Scene 13 - Takagi's Demise and McClane Takes Down a Terrorist
i grins at his nervousness. He turns it off as McClane steps
INTO FRAME behind him, his gun aimed at Tony.
MCCLANE
Save that energy.
Tony slowly turns around and sees McClane*s detective badge
pinned to his shirt.
MCCLANE
Put down your gun.
Tony doesn't. McClane cocks his Beretta. Tony watches him
calmly.
TONY
You won't do it.
MCCLANE
Why not?
TONY
Because you are a policeman.
MCCLANE
Try me.
Tony spins to the side and McClane fires, hitting him in the
arm, but the big man's momentum slams McClane into a filing
cabinet and sends his pistol into the hall. Tony reaches for
his machine gun, but McClane kicks him into the desk. He locks
his arms around the big man's neck in a hold that sends Tony
reeling into the hall. McClane holds on as they slam into the
glass door of a fire hose cabinet shattering the glass. They
careen across the hall into the stairwell door, opening it,
and crash into:



A98
28
85 STAIRWELL LANDING 85
then down the concrete steps into the wall on the landing below.
For a moment, both men lie still, then McClane moves and we SEE
the concrete becomes wet under the'big man as Tony's bladder
opens. McClane, still holding onto Tony's neck, releases it
and the man's head flops sickeningly to the side.
For a moment McClane just looks at the dead man, stunned, then
a HISSING SOUND coming from Tony's kit bag gets his attention.
He opens it and finds the terrorist's CB.
TIME CUT TO:
86 INT. 34TH FLOOR ELEVATOR CAR - NIGHT 86
Tony's body sits slumped in a secretary's chair — a note
attached to his chest. McClane sits on the floor in front of
him hurriedly lacing up the dead terrorist's boots on his own
; feet. He ties the last lace and tries to take a couple of
i steps. He nearly falls flat. Quickly he starts taking the
boots off.
MCCLANE
A zillion terrorists in the building
and I kill the one with feet smaller
than my sister.
He yanks off the boots and tosses them on Tony's lap, then
pushes buttons for the 33rd and 32nd floors. He slings Tony's
kit bag over his shoulder along with the dead man's machine gun.
A wooden desk ruler protrudes from McClane's back pocket.
The elevator doors close and the car starts down. After it's
dropped only half a floor, McClane forces the doors open with
his fingers — stopping the car between floors.
Using the ruler he blocks open the inside doors, then opens
the outside doors of the floor above (34th) with his fingers
and pulls himself up onto the carpeted floor, then up onto the
roof of the car. Once on the roof of the car he reaches over
the edge and removes the ruler, closing the inside doors and
setting the car in motion again.
87 32ND FLOOR (HOSTAGE FLOOR) -